Chapter Text
True to his word, Dazai didn’t show up to meet with the ADA. Granted, they were together 2 hours early, ambling their way to the cars they’d be taking.
Fukuzawa seemed to have his doubts, but Kunikida interrupted him gently.
“President. Dazai will be fine. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s capable.” With that, Fukuzawa nods, and they all fill into their cars.
Chuuya was still juggling making food and had just finished cleaning (which Dazai had helped with) when the doorbell rings. Thinking it’s just Dazai, he opens the door without looking and turns back towards his kitchen-
“Osamu..? You're back fast. Did you bring the wine? And the mushrooms? The food is still half done.”
Kunikida clears his throat, and Chuuya spins around.
“Oh- you’re not Osamu… It’s 3.”
They all wonder how come Chuuya is calling Dazai by his first name. Kunikida is the first to snap out of it.
“Yes, Nakahara-san. We came early in case you needed any help."
“I don’t, but feel free to come in and take a seat. Would you all like any coffee, tea? Wine?”
With that, Yosano is grinning. “I’ll take some red wine!” And to that Chuuya chuckles lightly. “A person of good taste. I can tolerate you.”
Kenji was bouncing on his heels, as he starts yelling with excitement. “MR. FANCY-HAT!! HELLO! Your house is huge!!!!!!”
Everyone else is blown aback by the sheer luxury of the executive’s penthouse. Floor to ceiling windows, giving a perfect view of Yokohama, expensive loooking furniture. The couches they’re on now feel like heaven, soft and comfy yet firm enough you don’t sink through. The walls are covered in book shelves, obscure art pieces, and photos of Chuuya, and most shockingly Dazai.
“If you’d like, I can give you a tour?” At that, everyone except Fukuzawa and Kunikida are jumping up and talking.
“Yes please! I’ll still take the wine though.” Yosano chines in.
Ranpo is quietly watching, looking at the photos littering the walls and the one frame on a shelf he’s near.
[it’s a photo of Chuuya and Dazai in Paris. They have their arms around each other’s shoulder and are holding up peace signs. Dazai has a huge grin —seemingly a genuine one— and Chuuya is laughing. It's from Dazai's mafia days, when they went on their first mission abroad to another branch in France.]
He clears his throat. “Nakahara-san—“
Chuuya interrupts him. “Please just call me Chuuya.”
Ranpo nods, and continues. “Chuuya.... this photo… of you and Dazai.” with that, the whole agency is staring at the photo.
Kenji exclaims, “You look happy!” Yosano is staring at the photo as if it’ll come alive, scrutinizing Chuuya and his arm around Dazai, noticing a small splatter of blood on Chuuya's hat.
Unbeknownst to them, while their attention is directed to the photo, Chuuya’s face is burning almost as red as his hair as he remembers that evening. He begins to speak, “Dazai and--“ and with that, the front door is opening, revealing Dazai carrying multiple bags of groceries. He double takes, not expecting to see his colleagues in his home so early, not that they know it.
"Uh... Chibi...? What's....--"
"Dazai!"
"Ah.. hey, Atsushi. Everyone..."
They all say their hellos, and Dazai starts putting the bags of groceries on the counters. As he's helping Chuuya sort them, leaving out what he needs to finish the food, Ranpo speaks up.
"Dazai. What are you wearing? And why'd you come with groceries?"
The man in question chuckles lightheartedly. "Ranpo. I'm just wearing whatever I grabbed this morning. And obviously, Chibi here asked me to help him with groceries, so who am I to say no? Hmm?" At the end, he smirks, which tells them all that he knows something they don't. At that moment, he moves to open the front door. At first, everyone's confused, save for him and Chuuya.
In a minute, Gin and Akutagawa walk through the door, carrying tons and tons of takeout bags.
"Ah! Ryuu, Gin! Perfect timing. I was just about help the Chibi set the tables."
Chuuya rolls his eyes, but touches the bags and floats them to one of the three tables set along a long wall. Dazai begins unpacking them quickly.
"Ryuu. Gin. You two can go change now. Thanks for the help!" The ADA is shocked to hear the praise from Dazai. Chuuya parrots a thank you, and quickly finishes the food as the Akutagawa siblings head up the stairs. It all happens too fast for the ADA to stop them, and they're more confused when the siblings start whispering to each other and walk into a room whose door you can see from the bottom.
Chuuya speaks up. "Oi Os- Dazai.. You can go get ready too. The food is ready, everything's clean. Once you're down, bring the drinks from the extra fridge." Dazai seems genuinely upset that Chuuya doesn't call him his first name, but the older man decided to attempt and act professional.
Dazai nods, and, much to his co-workers' surprise, he doesn't head outside the front door, but rather goes up the stairs. Unbeknownst to them, he goes all the way to the end of the hallway and walks into his and Chuuya's bedroom.
Chuuya serves everyone their drinks.
Kyouka turns to Atsushi. "Hey... Atsushi? Isn't it weird that Dazai went upstairs?" suddenly Atsushi pipes up. "Chuuya- why did Dazai go upstairs instead of going home to change?" Chuuya's surprised, but immediately schools his expression. "He has clothes up there. "How come? I don't mean to be rude, Chuuya, but-.." Glasses speaks up. Chuuya politely cuts him off.
"During his time in the mafia, Dazai and I had a lot of missions together, Glasses. Sometimes it was more convenient to crash here, since his place at the time was farther from headquarters. When that started, he never had clothes here and had nothing to sleep in, so eventually he started bringing clothes over here for convenience." The ADA members nod, seemingly accepting the explanation.
"Also, I tend to buy things for the people I know whenever I see something they'd like, so I had some fancier clothes for him that he ended up just keeping here, as he didn't have a closet for them." And then the bell rings.
Chuuya opens the door, and Kouyou, Mori, Hirotsu, Tachihara, and Kajii all come in. "Boss. Ane-san! Hirotsu, Tachihara. Kajii. Welcome. Now that everyone is here, let the party commence, I suppose."
Fukuzawa ends up standing with Mori, possibly discussing threats to the city. Chuuya stands with Kouyou and Tachihara, while Dazai sits in the corner with Hirotsu and Gin. Kajii ends up bugging the ADA members, which ends up in Chuuya banning talk about weapons, etc. Atsushi and Akutagawa are sitting in a corner, and the other ADA members are going around talking with everyone.
"Everyone. Gin and I had the greatest idea", Dazai says, standing on a chair. "Fill up your cups with whatever drink you want. Please make sure the underage kids get only juice or pop, and get more food if you'd like. Then, please make a circle on the ground. We're playing truth or dare!" Multiple groans are heard throughout the room, but they all comply. Chuuya's staring Dazai in the eyes, knowing truth and dare never works out with the PM, sometimes ending up with someone having dyed hair or having to do 10 shots, for example. Still, they all quickly get to it.
Everyone tops off their cups, gets seconds, and eventually, with some strategizing, they're all sitting in a lopsided circle, with the PM on one side and the ADA on the other.
"So!! Who wants to start?~" Dazai croons. He knows the whole ADA would say no, so he stares down the PM.
Tachihara ends up giving in. "Everyone know how to play?" Dazai asks. They all nod. "Great! We'll be changing it up, then. If you refuse to say a truth or do a dare, you take a sip of your drink. Once your cup is empty, you have to switch to shots. At least the adults do. Then, each time you do a truth, you have to explain it. Simple? Then let's begin!!!!" He smirks, and sits down, having stood up to talk.
"Okay, Tachihara. Choose one person to ask truth or dare to. That person, after, can ask someone else."
Tachihara nods, and Chuuya ends up staring him down to not pick him, knowing his best friend probably will anyways.
"Chuuya. Truth or dare?" Aaaaand there it is.
Chuuya pretends to think for a second, then growls out "Truth."
People boo. Glasses from the ADA looks like he'll be sick from playing games with their past enemy.
Tachihara smirks, knowing his friend's train of thought. “Chuuya. What’s the most drunk you’ve ever been?”
Chuuya groans. “On one of my birthdays, I ended up getting blackout drunk, and of course I was babbling useless things. That was when I ended up telling one of mg best kept secrets at the time.”
“Dazai. Truth or dare?” Chuuya smirks. He knows what to do to make him flustered, or give up a secret.
Dazai stares him down. They seem to have a silent conversation. Dazai nods, Chuuya smirks even more. Dazai glares, then looks up. Chuuya pokes his arm, and Dazai sighs. “Chuuyaaa~“ “No. Just answer the damn question.”
He huffs, then gives a coy smile. “Well… I’ll have to go with dare.” Tachihara and Kajii cheer, and Hirotsu pats Dazai on the back.
“Alright, Dazai. Show the last five photos on your phone and explain them.”
Dazai sighs, and Chuuya gers up to set up a small projector fhey have while Dazai looks at his recent photos, and connects his phone to the projector.
He takes his hand off thd projector, and they all turn to it. “Please don’t say anything rash.”
[the first photo is of Chuuya cooking, but it’s taken from where Dazai was resting his chin on Chuuya’s head. Chuuya is giving him the middle finger as he prepares something that looks like crab.]
[the second photo is of Dazai sleeping on the couch, a photo that Chuuya took. He has a book in his hand and there’s a tea cup on the table in front of him. He has dark eyebags and is wearing his work clothes.”
[the third photo is of Dazai, Ryuu, and Gin all sleeping on the couch, once more as Dazai has a book in his hand. Ryuu and Gin have their heads on Dazai’s shoulders, and they’re under a massive blanket.]
[the next one is of Chuuya with his cheek laying on a bar counter, clearly drunk off his ass with an empty wine bottle beside his head. Dazai’s hand can be seen moving a strand of Chuuya’s hair behind his ear.]
[the last photo is one Chuuya took as Dazai was laying with his head in Chuuya’s lap. He has a hand in Dazai’s hair, ruffling it up as Dazai seems to be sleeping.]
No one speaks for a bit. Utter silence surrounds them. Then, Kunikida speaks up. “Dazai?? Why do you have so many photos of Chuuya?? Aren’t you two enemies? And.. why with Akutagawa and Gin??” He could practically see Atsushi thinking, obviously about the photo with Ryuu, Gin and his mentor.
Dazai sighs. “Well,, Ku~ni~ki~da! I don’t really have to explain myself, now do I?” “So! Ryuu~ Truth or dare??” Knowing he’s clearly trying to change the topic, they all sigh.
“Truth.” “Hmmm~ now what about…— Ryuu! Who’s your latest crush? Hmm~?” Dazai has a cheeky smile on his face, and Chuuya is shaking his head, seemingly in disappointment.
“Uh- I…” He takes a sip of his drink. His face is bright red, and he’s looking at the plate of food in front of him. “Boo! Ryuu, live a little!” Akutagawa stares down his dad, pouting. Atsushi can’t help but think he looks adorable.
Someone clears their throat. Mori. “Why don’t we keep going, now, hmm?” Kunikida and Yosano can’t help but realize with a shudder that Dazai has the same smirk as Mori.
Akutagawa speaks up. “Boss. Truth or dare?” Mori smirks, “Dare.”
“Say something dirty to someone beside you.” Oh dear. Mori sweatdrops. To his right, is Fukuzawa. To his left is Kajii… He turns to Fukuzawa. “Fukuzawa, old friend…. if.. you behave… i’ll make you feel good later…?”
Dazai starts howling with laughter, Chuuya seems like he’s trying to hold it in, while the PM members are also laughing, but the ADA members seem like they’ll either be sick or will start yelling.
Fukuzawa chuckles. “Ranpo. Truth or dare?” “Truth.”
“Who are you interested in currently?”
Without skipping a beat, Ranpo answers. “Poe. Yosano. Truth or dare?” “Hmm. Dare.” “Read aloud the last 5 search history on your phone.”
Yosano smirks. “Alright. ‘How to disect someone’ ‘Is fighting a lot a kind of flirting’— “ as she says this, she smirks at Dazai and Chuuya. “— ‘How to reattach someone’s fingernail’ ‘Is it gay to keep clothes at your enemy’s house?’ —“ Again a smirk towards Dazai. “— ‘Am I a sadist’. There, happy?” Ranpo nods.
Yosano hums. “Kouyou. Truth or dare?” Kouyou smiles. “Truth.” “What’s your sexuality?” At this point, they’re practically flirting. “I’m a lesbian.” “Oh? Same here. Maybe…—“ “Hmm.. perhaps…. meet me for lunch tomorrow?” “Alright, it’s a date.” “So it is.” They keep giggling at each other.
Chuuya rolls his eyes. He’s happy for Ane-san, of course, but man can they stop flirting at least?
He clears his throat. “Ane-san, please-“
Kouyou turns towards him. “Hm? Boy, are you homophobic?” She knows he isn’t, knows he’s married to Dazai, but just can’t help herself as she teases him. Dazai gasps dramatically. “Chuuya’s homophobic? How can this be~“
“What?? No! Of course not! Ane-san!!” He growls- “Dazai.”
“Hirotsu. Truth or dare?” “Truth.” “What’s your view on Dazai?” Suddenly everyone’s holding their breath. “I see him as my son. He’s a great person, and I’m upset he never got a proper childhood that he deserved.” He says this all while giving a small smile to Dazai.
Hirotsu looks around the room. “Kajii. Truth or dare?” “DARE!!” Clearly, Kajii has had too much sugar. “Swap clothes with Tachihara. Tachihara groans loudly, but they comply. Kajii goes next.
“Tanizaki. Truth or dare!” “Dare!” “Call Naomi and tell her you’re gay.” “H-hahh?? But- I’m not! She’ll kill me!” “So?” He grumbles, quickly calling her. He mumbles “Naomi. I’m gay.” and hangs up.
“Kyouka. Truth or dare?” “Uh.. truth.” “Do you like Atsushi?” Kyouka looks away. “Well, I like him yeah. But! As a friend. Not romantically.
“Kunikida? Truth or dare?” “Truth.” “Have you ever had sex?” “Kyouka!” “Not now, Ane-san!” “I-i-i can’t answer that!!!” Kunikida stutters, pushing his glasses back up his nose as his face turns bright red.
Yosano chuckles. “So that’s a yes.”
“Dazai. Truth or dare?” “Dare.” “Pour one of Chuuya’s wine bottles down the drain.” Everyone was laughing, knowing how Chuuya would react.
Kunikida wouldn’t meet Chuuya’s eyes, but Chuuya knew it was against his ‘ideals’ to be an alcoholic as he claimed Chuuya was.
“Fine fine. Chibi~ please don’t kill me!” Dazai sang while he walked towards the room they kept their wine in. He grabs two bottles, and walks over to the kitchen sink.
“OI MACKEREL. IF YOU POUR BOTH I’LL STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR ENTRAILS.”
”Ah Chibi~ be a good dog, yeah? And have some faith in me~“ He winked. The bastard winked!
Chuuya huffs and watched him. Dazai easily uncorks both bottles, grabs one and pours it down the drain. Chuuya felt his blood boil.
Dazai then grabs the other and squeezes himself between Chuuya and Tachihara, on the PM side, much to Kunikida’s horror.
He takes a sip from the bottle, and hands it to Chuuya. For a minute, the two just keep handing the bottle back and forth, drinking.
Kenji speaks up. “Um, isn’t that an indirect kiss?”
Chuuya, who’s already drunk, giggles. “So?”
And so the game commences.
After a while, everyone’s drunk, more or less.
Chuuya had opened another wine bottle, Dazai had a bottle of whiskey. Tachihara had his hair dyed green. Dazai had a tattoo drawn on his hand in permanent marker. Chuuya ended up with an undercut, courtesy of Kouyou. Kyouka and Kenji had gotten together, and they had made Akutagawa both smile (he failed, miserably) and had made him confess to Atsushi, who had blushed red and mumbled out a “I like you too”.
Now, Dazai had been dared to take 10 shots of vodka at once. Kunikida kept count, while everyone else cheered. Even though Dazai had drunk before, and half a bottle of wine and two bottles of whiskey, he was just barely tipsy; he always had a high alcohol tolerance.
He takes the shots without flinching. All ten.
“Ryuu~“ he croons, smiling fondly at him. “Yeah dad?” Even though they were drunk, everyone stopped. “
Dad???” Kunikida yelled.
“D-dazai?? Why..”
Akutagawa realized too late what he had said. “Uhh- I meant to say Dazai…?”
Chuuya shakes his head. “Too late now, bud.”
Atsushi seems confused. “Can someone explain??”
Ranpo then chose to speak up. “Dazai. Were you ever going to tell us you were both married and had two kids?”
With that, everyone’s yelling, except for the Port Mafia, who knew of course. Dazai sighs.
“Alright, everyone calm down. Sit, please.” They listened.
“Right. So~ yes I’m married. To Chuuya. The “kids” I have are the Akutagawa siblings. Calmly now, you can ask questions.”
“Atsushi?” “Since when were you married?”
“Hmm.. Well Chuuya and I were dating unofficially since we were 15, but told everyone about a month before my 17th birthday. By then, I had Ryuu and Gin under my care for almost a year. Chuuya and I ended up getting married in March, when we were both 17. Now, we’re 22. You can do the math.”
…
“WHAT- DAZAI! WHY ARE YOU MARRIED TO A PORT MAFIA EXECUTIVE??”
“Kunikida. I was an executive myself when we got married.” Yosano spoke up next. “Why weren’t we invited to the wedding?” She frowns.
“Yosano. I didn’t know any of the ADA members then. Also, I live here. That’s why I had clothes in Chuuya’s room- well, my room too. Uh did Kunikida just faint?”
Eventually, the party ends, and everyone goes home. The Akutagawa siblings are helping Chuuya and Dazai clean up. When they’re all going to bed, Chuuya turns to his husband and plants a kiss on his lips.
“Maybe you should tell your colleagues important things like that beforehand. I feel bad that Glasses fainted.” Dazai hums, and pulls his husband closer to him as he starts drifting off to sleep.
Maybe he’ll get to cause more chaos another day.