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English
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Part 1 of Divisus
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Published:
2022-05-29
Completed:
2022-08-26
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3,171
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2/2
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Veritas

,

Summary:

Jak and Keira’s relationship has been strained ever since they reunited in Haven; assumptions and miscommunication creating a rift between them. Well, you know what they say about assuming…

Chapter 1

Notes:

So this started as a 'what if' that snowballed and we ended up writing it kind of roleplay style.

Chapter Text

Keira had never seen the… thing for herself, but she had heard whispers. She couldn’t imagine the Jak that she knew, the young hero, turning into something like that. But this Jak wasn’t the one she knew. He was gruff and angry. Hateful. Violent. When she heard he had been charged with protecting her father, she felt little comfort.

“Was it really you in the forest?” she asked.

“Why wouldn’t it have been? It was your father who asked me to go there in the first place.”

"People say things, Jak. About you. Daddy always said dark eco was bad. Just look at what it did to Daxter. It turned him into an animal, and now..."

Jak crossed his arms. “Now what?”

"Despite what happened to Daxter, he's still Daxter. But whatever that thing is... it's not a person. It's more animal than Daxter ever was."

“Then I guess it’s a good thing we’ve both grown up since you don’t date animals.”

Keira flinched but stood her ground, mirroring Jak's pose. "You're right, I don't. Haven has been hard on all of us, but that doesn't give you an excuse to unleash that thing and kill people. You're supposed to be better than that."

He scoffed. “You say that as if I had a choice in any of it. ‘Better’? Like your ‘star racer’?”

"Of course you had a choice! But you gave in to the eco, just like Gol and Maia! And Erol— he's a soldier, Jak. You've seen the state of Haven, haven't you? There's a war going on. When you're someone like him, there are some things you have to do. For the good of the city."

A small bolt of lightning danced across his knuckles as he clenched his fist “I’m nothing like-“ Lightning crackled at his feet and a low growl escaped his throat. “And you know nothing about him.” The bolts started to jump off Jak’s body to various pieces of metal nearby. “But fine. If that’s how it is I have nothing else to say to you.” As he turned around and walked away a few more bolts of lightning coming from his feet followed before they stopped.

Keira backed away from Jak as he left, her face pale, fists clenched. Her heart started pounding at the sight of the first spark. She hoped it would be a while before Jak's next visit.

-------

During her few years in Haven City, Keira had made a point of staying out of its conflicts. Using Krew to get a foothold in the stadium was the deepest she was willing to dive. When it came to the Baron and the Underground, Keira stayed far away and she wanted to keep it that way. Her father being the Shadow and her best friends being Underground soldiers put a damper on that, but she would still like to keep those connections a secret. So, when she heard distant footsteps as she made her way through the alley toward the Underground base, Keira threw herself into the nearest crevice and squeezed out of sight.

She didn't mean to eavesdrop. In a city full of slime-balls like Krew that wasn't a healthy habit to keep, but when she heard Daxter's voice, she couldn't help it.

"Aw, shoot. Forget about it, Jak. She doesn't know what she's talking about."

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what “she” he was talking about.

"I'm not so sure, Dax... She's not completely wrong..."

"Whoa, whoa, what the hell are you talking about?"

"The Dark Eco... What it turns me into.... And sometimes I want to let it take over.... Everything... hurts less that way."

"I don't know about you, buddy, but I sure as hell didn't see your hand on that button. Whatever happened after that ain't your fault. You think anyone else could walk around with all that nasty gunk in their blood and not be crazy all the time? Except for Orange Lightning, of course." Daxter's voice lowered, turning from his usual brashness to something softer, more serious. "Jak. It ain't your fault. Everything you're going through. I'm here for you, buddy. You're gonna be okay."

“Daxter.... Dax.... What if I do end up like them?” Jak sighs and sits on the ground against the wall behind him. “We both know I won’t be able to control it forever.... I can barely control it now.... What happens when it takes over for good?”

"Don't even talk like that. It ain't gonna happen."

“Gol, Maia, they went mad when the Dark Eco took over. Some of the other subjects went insane and tried to claw their own veins out. What if it’s only a matter of time before Praxis and Erol get what they wanted? A mindless killer.”

"No way I'm gonna let you turn out like them, you hear me? If tall, dark, and gruesome starts taking over, I'll just smack some sense into ya. You really gonna give Erol the satisfaction of becoming the precious weapon they wanted?"

Keira sucked in a sharp breath, then clapped her hand over her mouth. She hoped she hadn't been loud enough for the boys to hear.

“Of course not, Dax! I’m just saying.... what if I’m not given a choice?” Jak curled up slightly, bringing his knees closer to his chest. “You- we were never given a choice in the prison..... why would something that came from there be different?”

Before Daxter could say anything, Keira emerged from her hiding place.

“Jak…” she trailed off, unsure what to say.

Jak instantly jumped to his feet before recognizing the person in front of him. "Keira." He looked back at her, unsure what to say after their last conversation. He gave Daxter a glance, silently asking the ottsel to help keep him from falling apart this time. And Daxter knew Jak was spiraling. As awkward as it might be, for Keira anyway, to have him there he wasn't going to leave the blonde when this was clearly something Jak needed support for.

“Now hold on a minute, toots,” Daxter started.

Any other time, Keira would have given Daxter a withering look for the comment, but right now all her focus was on Jak.

“Is it true?” she asked

“It’s been a tough ride...” he repeated the words from when they first reunited. Jak’s gaze stayed on Daxter, knowing that if he looked at Keira he wouldn’t be able to get the words out; was barely able to get them out even now.

Daxter scampered up the wall and clung to the bricks, leaning out slightly to put himself between Keira and Jak.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Keira asked. “All this time, I thought… You should have told me.”

Jak’s eyes hardened. “You never gave me a chance before blaming me for having Dark Eco pumped into me.” He turned his head down and to the side, taking a breath as he felt the poisonous substance flowing through his veins latch on to the pain and hurt the memories caused.

"You're the one who walked away." Keira tried to defend herself, but it sounded weak even to her ears.

His eyes snapped to her once again, the cerulean irises going cold and his voice hardened. “I think we both know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t.” Jak could feel his mind drifting. Not in the way the world would blur when the Dark Eco took over. The detached feeling was one he was... intimately familiar with.

Keira couldn't help but take a step back. Despite knowing the truth now, or having some inkling of it, that didn't make her any less afraid of Jak's other side. A monster was a monster, no matter how it came to be. It would take a while before her thoughts on that changed.

Daxter took one look at Keira's wary expression, and Jak's distant one, and decided that was enough. "Ya happy now, Keira? You got the truth. How about you go do some pondering or something while I take care of my boy here?"

Distantly Jak noted the sound of Daxter’s voice but his mind couldn’t understand the words. His body felt weak and he leaned back in the wall, sliding down as the voice continued.

"Whoa, easy there, big guy." Daxter leapt off the wall and sat down by Jak's side, resting a paw on his arm. He knew that the best thing he could do for Jak now was keep him grounded. Daxter spared a glance over his shoulder at Keira. "I think you've done enough eavesdropping for one day, don't you?"

Daxter would be lying if he said he wasn't satisfied with Keira's flinch at his words.

"I could help," she suggested.

"Yeah, by leaving." Daxter turned his attention back to Jak. He gripped Jak's arm with his claws, careful not to dig deep, just enough that Jak should feel even through the haze that had settled over his mind. "You're okay, Jak."

Jak felt small pricks on his arm surrounded by something warm and fuzzy. Daxter. It’s Daxter. His head felt like he was swimming through the Boggy Swamp’s tar. He hesitantly began clawing his way to the surface. The voice became clearer and clearer as his mind slowly returned to the present.

Daxter didn't see Keira leave, but he heard her shoes scrape against the pavement, slowly getting further away, which was good enough for him.

"Come on bud, you know the drill. What do you see right now? You ain't in that deep dark pit anymore."

It took a moment for him to process what Daxter asked, and another one to answer. “Zoomer,” his voice sounded rough as he continued to flounder between the haze and full awareness. “Hideout. You.”

"That's it." Daxter spoke softly, doing his best to keep his voice low and soothing. "How about stuff you can feel?"

“Hand... Fur.” Jak gulped in breaths between his words. His clenched hand moved to his chest as if the panic and fear constricting his chest was a physical thing he could pry away. 

"Uhhh, what's next... sound? Yeah. Sound."

He unconsciously twisted his fist and grabbed at his shirt. “Zoomers. Lou-“
“Break him.”
No no no, not going there. “Daxter.” Jak leaned his head back against the wall. “Storm. Always storms.”

"Almost there, buddy. Smells? Besides you, of course. Geez you need a shower."

Jak huffs a laugh. "Rain." He takes a deep breath and looks to Daxter and nods, giving the ottsel confirmation that he's back.

“Good.” Daxter scanned the alley. Keira was nowhere in sight. Unfortunately, he didn’t know if she left for real, or if she went into the Underground hideout. She must have been on her way to visit her father when she stumbled across them. Either way, she was out of sight for now. It would have to do.

“Wanna talk about it or go shoot something?” Daxter asked.

Jak got his feet under him and waited for Daxter to hop on his shoulder. "I think maybe we should head somewhere else." Jak sighed, not really wanting to do either and knowing he would have to do the former. Once Daxter was settled he started walking, just letting his feet carry him. Soon enough he found himself looking at the decrepit remains of Sandover, what remained of it at least.

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Seeing the old sage's hut made Daxter's stomach twist. There was no love lost with the house falling to ruin. Daxter had spent many hours scrubbing its floors, and getting walked on the head by Samos' staff. He had few, if any, good memories there. But it was the only piece of the old Sandover that remained. It wasn't the hut itself that made him feel sick, but the knowledge that this was the only thing left of the good days.

Jak walked slowly around the room before stopping at the dead teleportation gate. "Do you remember the temple in the Forbidden Jungle?" He asked in a quiet voice, knowing that in the complete silence of Dead Town he would be heard clearly.

"Yeah. And that big ol' plant with teeth. Nasty."

Jak made a small noise of amusement. "Its vines were everywhere. There wasn't anywhere in the jungle that you didn't see them." Jak's hand reached out to rest on the lifeless ring and his voice took on a somber tone again. "The plant was leaking Dark Eco once we destroyed it. And I could feel it trying to enter my body. I never told you because I didn't understand it myself."

“Well, you’ve always had a way with eco,” Daxter said, but his attempt at humour fell flat.

"It was the same feeling as the first time I was strapped to that chair." He sighed. "Even back then my body was trying to channel it..."

“That don’t make anything that happened your fault. And, not gonna lie, I’m glad to hear it.”

“Why’s that?”

“You know what I felt when I fell into that eco? It was like…” Daxter shuddered just thinking about it. “I don’t even know how to explain it. But it felt like I was dyin’. Wasn’t so bad once I ended up like this, but it hurt. And it probably would have killed me if I didn’t get so lucky. You were lucky, too.”

"The Eco didn't hurt until they forced it into me. It felt like my whole body was on fire..."

"And if you were anyone else, you would have died. I'm not saying any of it was good, or that they didn't put you through a hell of a lot of hurt. Precursors know I'm not saying that. But eco's always been your thing, you know? And if you weren't you, you wouldn't be here."

"That's the same for you Dax. Sure you couldn't use it the way I could, but you were able to tolerate more of it the older we got... Interesting how things work out, huh?" The two of them sat in a companionable silence for a few minutes before it was broken by the reason they came out here.

“I know you went through hell in there,” Daxter said. “Can’t even imagine it. But you know you can tell me, right?”

Jak sat down against the long-dead teleporter with his knees up. The position was both vaguely comforting and let him look at Daxter better. It was a few moments before he spoke, barely audible but with no other sounds than their breathing the words were clearly heard. "But then it's real...and if it's real then..."

“Buddy, I know you might not want to hear it, but it’s already real. And I can’t help you through it I’d you don’t open up about it. You don’t hafta. If you really want to keep it bottled up, okay, I won’t push you. But I hate seeing ya like this.”

The blonde glanced up at Daxter; the one who'd been there through everything, who wasn't afraid even when turned into a soulless monster, who had every reason (and opportunity) to leave but stuck by him. Daxter who was his best friend.
Jak was silent. He knew the ottsel was right. It was real already... but saying out loud would mean he wouldn't be able to shove it in a box in the back of his mind and pretend. Pretend to be alright; pretend that he wasn't broken. "I hate him," the words were out of his mouth before he could think about stopping them. “I hate him for what he did.” Jak turned his gaze back to the floor, unable to look Daxter in the eye at the inevitable question.

Daxter leaned in, trying to provide a comforting presence. "What did he do?"

He looked up with unshed tears to meet his gaze. “Don’t... don’t make me say it.”

“I’m not gonna force ya, but…” Daxter trailed off. He rarely found himself at a loss for words, but this was one of those times where even he didn’t know what to say. All he wanted to do was help his best friend.

Jak took a deep breath. He hated that word. As difficult as it was to talk about what happened, putting the name to it was even harder. "... Sometimes he would stay after the experiments... send the other guards away." Broken, fragmented sentences were all he was able to say. "The times when he would come at night were always the worst..."

It didn’t take long for Daxter to piece together what Jak was saying. He froze, staring at Jak. The stillness didn’t last long, though. His shoulders shook as a blistering rage filled him.
“I’m gonna kill him!” he screamed.

"It's not going to change anything, Dax...." Jak's voice was soft. He knew that even if he was gone, the commander had still broken him.

“At least he’d be dead,” Daxter grumbled. He might not be able to change Jak’s past, but he could certainly end Erol’s future.

The corner of Jak's mouth twitched outwards minutely. He couldn't deny the idea was tempting.
He should pay. They should all pay, The darker part of his mind whispered. Make them bleed. Make them suffer. They deserve it. Jak shook his head as if it would clear away the voice.

Daxter fretted, although he tried to hide it, digging his claws into the fur on his hips to mask his shaking hands. He and Jak had always understood each other in a way other people don’t, but during those two years apart something changed. They still understood each other, but sometimes Daxter didn’t know what to do. He saw how much Jak hurt and couldn’t think of a way to help him, besides just being there.

He didn’t like it.

“Dax…” Jak looked up, a kaleidoscope of emotions swimming in watery eyes. He uncurled his legs so that only one was still up while the other lay flat against the floor. Where words were currently failing him he hoped Daxter’s ability to understand him hadn’t got too out of practice as he gave the ottsel a look. One that was most often used when Sandover’s storms would rage hard enough to shake the hut and the blonde wanted to not be alone.

"It's gonna be-" Daxter choked down the word okay. In a place like Haven, nothing ever felt like it was going to be okay, especially not now. The baron and Erol wreaking havoc. Keira eavesdropping on conversations she had no business hearing. Two Samos the Sages.

Daxter wasn't looking forward to the next time they saw Keira, whenever that would be. But that was something to worry about later.

"We're gonna get you through it," he finally said. "I'm right here with you, buddy."

Jak simply stayed there, allowing himself to just take in the comfort from his best friend. He didn’t know how long they stayed there before he felt ready to go back to the city, and he didn’t really care.

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