Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Footsteps pounded on the metallic floor, blaster bolts littering the air around him as he booked it down the hallway, not looking behind him once as he shot back with his own black and red blaster. Some of the bolts even stopped in midair and were being redirected- not all of them however, he didn’t want Snoke to think he was alive, afterall, although he might already believe so. The man’s black hair flowed around his face, bouncing in the air as his face held a scar over the right eye, going all the way down to his stomach. His leather jacket flowed behind him as he ran through the corridor of the First Order ship, Stormtroopers after him because of all the supplies they had stolen from a shipment he was supposed to take and smuggle away was now back in his possession and aboard his ship. The man didn’t even look behind him as he continued his fleeing, making it to the hallway before the hangar, where the Millenium Falcon, a ship he had acquired from his father and that he had borrowed , not stolen (there's a difference ), for a job he had agreed to. He definitely didn’t leave his poor father with his angry mother for several years. Not at all!

Ben Solo was his name- Benjamin Millenium Skywalker-Solo if you’re being that specific- and he was most definitely one of the greatest smugglers this side of the New Republic, if you didn’t include his father, Han Solo, and Ben was just as good as getting his ass into trouble as his father was. Which leads to his current predicament. Stormtroopers. On his ass. Like right now. 

“Shit- shit- shit! Artoo, can you hear me?! PALEASE tell me you can KRIFFING HEAR ME! ” Ben screeched into his COMM, hearing the familiar whistling from the Droid.

“ YES. CAN HEAR YOU. WHAT NEED? ” The Droid’s clicks and whistles were easily translated by the Smuggler after several years of working with the sassy astromech.

“CLOSE DOORS F4750! CLOSE THEM!” He ordered just as more Stormtroopers were about to pour out the doors behind him, alarms blaring. After a hot second, Ben screamed another,” ARTOO! ” And suddenly those doors shut just as he passed them, running into the hangar, bounding for the safety of his ship.

The man skidded to a stop just as he got to the Falcon . He coughed for a good minute, hacking up his lungs and waving his hand as he stumbled onto the Falcon , waving Artoo over from a wall. Thank Force he had the foresight to lock all the other hangar doors before he went adventuring to get back the shit they needed. The whole reason the two were forced to be here was because the First Order had nabbed the shipment of spice and medical equipment that was supposed to be sent to him from an outside party. Now he needs to finish the job and get it to a nearby planet, Ta’koin. It was in Wild Space, just outside the Outer Rim so it won’t be too wild . Hopefully…

Both the man and the Droid got to the Falcon ’s cockpit and settled down, Ben flicking a few switches and levers to start the engines and Artoo plugging in the next coordinates. Ever since he could walk, Ben knew how to fly a ship. Doesn’t matter what kind; a Shuttle, a Resistance X-Wing, Y-Wing, Tie-Fighter, the Falcon . You name it, he could most definitely fly it. Ben knows it’s something that runs deep throughout his family, starting with his Grandfather. What’s cool about Ben, however, is that he gets it from both the Force-Sensitive side of his family and the Smuggler side. So he’s clearly the best pilot in the family. 110% certified best pilot. 

Ben quickly pulled the Falcon out of the hangar and into open space, pulling the Hyperdrive lever and watching the stars blur into white and blue lines around them, kicking his feet onto the dashboard as the lingering adrenaline wore off, leaving him exhausted. He put his blaster in the leather holster strapped to his right leg, putting his arms behind his head as he leant back into the pilot’s seat. The supplies were in the back and thankfully Artoo had managed to get them all onboard himself while Solo kept all the stupid troopers busy. It was honestly too easy at this point. Mainly because of Artoo. 

‘ Seriously, how the shit did he get all the supplies on board…? Eh whatever.. ’ Ben thought to himself, but shook it off. Artoo scared him sometimes.

The man turned and looked at said droid, grinning at him,”Whaddya say, buddy? Once we get this pay, you wanna head to Takodana? Go to Maz’s with me? Get a drink? I might be able to get someone to fix you up, too. Or snag some parts! Repaint maybe? You wanna try red and gold?” 

(For whatever reason, Ben had the urge to go to Maz’s for a while now, but never really found it in himself to actually go . He usually never had the time, credits, or wanted to face the possibility of seeing his parents there. He knew his dad frequented that place. ‘ The very same that abandoned you. That left you with Luke. ’ A dark part of his mind reminded him. He shook the thought away. 

Ben has rather recently been feeling an urge, a force pulling at his mind and body to bring it to Takodana. It was actually the Force telling him to go, but Ben Solo was in fact a Skywalker at heart too so following orders wasn’t exactly something he would do. Even if it was his own body telling him.)

The droid had sustained a few damages over the past few days of this mission and, despite Ben’s lack of outward concern, he cared very deeply about people he loved. That goes for this droid too. He’s known R2D2 for his entire almost twenty years of living- holy kriff was he almost twenty already?! Huh.. time flies.. 

Artoo beeped,” WANT YOU REPAIR. YOU GOOD AT FIX. NEED TOOLS? ” The Old Republic Astromech seemed to look at him, rocking back and forth in excitement.

Ben took his feet off the dashboard and smiled down sadly at his companion,”You know I’m not that good of a mechanic. Yea, I may do one good repair once in a while, but I’m not… him.. I’m not…” he sighed, shaking his head, sweat dripping from his hair.

“Eugh. I smell like Bantha poodoo. Maybe when we get to Maz’s I can get a damn shower too. Force -…” he quickly changed the subject. Although Artoo was a droid and didn’t exactly feel emotions like sentients can, he is still a lot more alive than most droids are and Ben respects this very much. He knows how much Artoo missed his friends from his first lifetime. From the Old Republic and when Jedi were still around. Ben respects all intelligence, Artificial included. 

The only intelligence he doesn’t respect, however, is the lack thereof intelligence. AKA iciocy. Ahh idiocy. Such as General Hux. Now that man was a complete idiot and, in all honesty, Ben was all for it. Stupid people are pretty funny. Especially their reactions to someone calling out their stupidity.

Ben snorted at the thought and decided he would repair Artoo himself, getting up and shuffling off to find the supplies for it. Wasting a couple thousand credits was stupid anyway.

•••

Thirty-thousand credits. Thirty. Thousand. Fucking. Credits. And they were all his and Artoo’s! Holy fucking shit?! Ben has never felt so much GODDAMN power in his LIFE. In all honesty, he had usually taken much, much smaller jobs before this and this was technically his first real job. This was an amazing fucking feeling either way.

The duo was currently on their way to Takodana, a ton of credits being on their ship so they could buy anything they really needed. When things like this happen- when they take a break for once- Artoo would usually stay on the ship while Ben would use his incredible talking skills- and/or Force Persuasion if needed- to make good deals and pay for any supplies and look for any new job offerings. The same was happening today.

Ben made his way through the forest to Maz’s castle, pushing and shoving his way through the large doors and into the mayhem that lurked inside. He hasn’t been here in quite a while- fourteen years to be exact-, for whatever reason, but they were in the area and had the credits for once(Believe it or not, Ben is actually very bad, like fucking horrible - the absolute worst - when it comes to managing money. And although he claims he’s good at it, ask anybody he knows and they will tell you otherwise while simultaneously calling you stupid for believing him). 

The man took in the familiar smell of alcohol as well as thieves and crooks- his kind of people- and held onto that, puffing up his chest as he went to sit down at a table of ruffians. One of the people sitting there was a male Togruta with mainly blue skin, white facial markings, and golden accents. His eyes were a warm amber color and he wore a black robe to cover a good potion of his body. Ben could tell he was rather lanky under the robes just by looking at his shoulder width. His partner was a human male with his eyes covered by a white cloth, pale skin with darker freckles and ginger hair atop his head- sadly reminding him of Hux. The fucking loser. And the third member of this littler party was a human female with dark skin and vibrant blue eyes with deep black hair, yellow highlighting the tips. She wore a black tank top with armored shoulders and a large belt around her waist with weapons strapped to her body.

“I’m lookin’ for a job offering. Any of you three know of someone who’s hiring?” He asked the group. One of the best ways to find someone, he found, was to simply ask the people around him- especially Bounty Hunters and fellow Smugglers. Especially when you wave a few credits in their faces and place them on the table.

The Togruta spoke up, taking the credits and shoving them into a side pouch. He had an accent heavy on his tongue as he spoke,”There is nobody here that is hiring. We have checked many times. The main three job-offerings here had been claimed already and many people flee from here in fear of the First Order leaving many of us without jobs. It has been getting closer, bouncing from planet to planet in search of something. There have even been sightings and rumors of First Order soldiers in woods.” 

The woman spoke up next, her voice deep and soothing,”Any job listings that are offered are either immediately revoked or taken by someone else before it even gets traction.” She shook her head and tsked. They each put their head back down. All the info he was getting here.

Ben processed that information, confused and concerned, and got up from the chair, whispering a thanks and leaving to actually talk to Maz. Maybe she could give him some insight as to why First Order troops would be on an entirely Neutral Planet . In his experience with the First Order- he ignored the memories of a tight-fitting black uniform with an unholy, fear-inducing red blade in the shape of an upside-down cross, almost as if it was on fire, the suffocating mask and the will to please his master by killing anyone and anything before him - they would never actually go for Neutrals, deeming them weaklings and cowards. They never actually cared about Neutrals as long as they had little to no relationships with Rebels. 

“So why would they come here..?” Ben whispered, his dark eyebrows knitting together in confusion as he tucked his bandaged hands into his black jacket’s pockets, walking up to the counter where Maz usually was. The orange little demon was usually tinkering with something.

“Can I help you?” She narrowed her eyes through the lenses at him, adjusting them and then recognition flashed in her eyes,”Can I help you, Ben?” She said a bit more warmly this time, a smile dancing on her lips as she set down a piece of metal that she had been messing around with.

“How'd you know it was me? I haven’t been here in years!” He was genuinely bewildered, but he suspected she may have some abilities within the Force. Either that or she’s like actually crazy.

“I can recognize a Solo from a mile away!” Her gaze softened and both of them chuckled warmly.

“Heh. Hey, Maz. Really good to see you! I do need to ask you something, though.” Ben sobered a little and cleared his throat,”I’ve heard that the First Order has been getting close to here. I’ve also heard a rumor of Stormtroopers lurking around in the woods? Is that true? I only listened to one group, but I would like to get it from a better source.” 

Maz quickly frowned, sobering up too. She sighed and motioned for him to follow her into the back, going down a small flight of stairs, and ending up in a much smaller parlor sort of area off of the main hallway. Ben suddenly remembered the annoying, nagging tugging coming from the Force, that seemed much more prominent now down here than up there, because it made him stumble a little bit, catching himself on a nearby stone wall with his hand. Ben embraced it for a whole two seconds before he promptly shoved it back into a box in the back of his mind.

The man continued to follow the shorter being and they stopped at a table in the corner. Maz motioned for him to sit, so he did as she turned on the holoprojector. 

Ben looked around, never having been down here before and noticed there was quite a lack of decoration and much more dangerous clients down here waiting. Most of which appeared to be Bounty Hunters and there were a lot less people down here compared to the topside.

“This is a picture someone took of a First Order camp being made out in the woods to the far West.” She sighed, narrowing her eyes at the image. 

Ben narrowed his own eyes and stared at the picture. He cared for Maz, very deeply. She was a good friend of his father’s and she was very nice to him when he was younger. He had spent a lot of time with her before he had been sent to Luke’s Jedi Temple before- Ben ignored the memories - the green before his eyes and the deranged look on his Uncle’s face- he ignored it and shoved it into a different box that belonged at the back of his mind. Although he was not with the Resistance, he was still of Resistance blood, through and through. Hells, his mom was literally a general for the Resistance. If anything, he should be next in line, but he wasn’t a hero. He wasn’t a fighter. Not anymore. This wasn’t his problem so why he was even looking at this was beyond him.

“We have another scout at the camp and this was another image taken.” Maz looked severely concerned at the image and Ben could see why. Before him was the image of someone who nobody would ever want to face- he would know because he’s fought against and with her before: Kimaura Ren. The only mute Knight of Ren, but the most dangerous and deadly of the nine. Her favorite weapons were her two blood red lightsabers. Although she does tend to carry a very heavy ball and chain that could easily break someone’s leg- and entire rib cage- if they were not careful and if she was feeling a bit less merciful. The worst part was that she was one of the newest Knights of Ren, Ben knew, and that meant she was the least trained. She was still a horrifying opponent, mainly because she thrived in stealth. She could walk on nails, broken glass, magma, hot coals, you name it, and not make even the smallest sounds whether it was from her mouth or her movements. When Ben was still Kylo, he had despised being partnered with(or even being near ) her because of how Force-damned terrifying she could be.

“That is… a good reason for concern.” Ben blinked, feeling his eye twitch. Another reason why he hated her was because she was the reason he had a gnarly scar across his back and why it was so goddamn hard to escape the First Order in the first place. Although he, himself, had been Snoke’s right hand man, she was definitely a close, silent second if he were to ever get out of line. And sadly, he was considered “out of line”.

“Indeed it is. Nobody’s been brave enough to stand up to them. They have been trying to discreetly take over our planet! Our world! We are innocent and neutral! We have no connection to the Rebels! Yet they still take our land and resources.” She sighs, adjusting her lenses once more before staring into the very depths of Ben’s cracked and damaged soul. He could already tell what she was about to ask and he… he couldn’t. Not after so long..

“Maz… I know what you’re thinking.. but whatever it is, no .” He furrowed his brow, pointing at the crazy woman,”I gave up the fight a long time ago.”

Maz crossed her arms in that “disappointed mother” look. Maz always did feel like another mom to him when he was out waiting for his dad to come back from a Smuggling journey with Uncle Chewie.

“Maz I’m serious. I don’t even have a lightsaber. ” He ignored the nagging at the back of his mind. And yes. He doesn’t have his lightsaber anymore. His original was long-gone and the one he made while he was a Knight of Ren was destroyed by Kimaura when he escaped the First Order,”Like sure I’m very damn good with a blaster, but so is everybody else here. And I cannot fight against a crazy lady who has lightsabers with a blaster. That’s just asking for me to be killed on-sight!”

Maz seemed to think before she quietly got up and disappeared into the hallway- conveniently that's exactly where the Force wanted him to go. When Maz came back, she was holding a wooden box and placed it on the table. Ben felt the Force scream at him to open it and for the first time in a long time, he listened. Maz simply watched from her spot across him as she turned off the projector, leaving an afterimage burning in their eyes.

Ben opened the wooden case and gasped at seeing a strangely familiar Silver lightsaber hilt. The Force seemed to calm when he touched it, even seeming to nod in approvement. It was so strangely familiar to him, but he can guarantee he’s never held this kind of hilt before in his life. Ben then quickly snapped out of his stupor and dropped it in the box, promptly closing it.

“No.” Ben practically growled,”I’m done fighting. Why don’t you use it?” He pushed the box back over to a disappointed and sad Maz. She sighed and then smiled softly.

“I would if I could, Solo. It’s not calling to me.” She chuckled softly before opening the wooden case Once more and then gently sliding it over to Ben, studying his face intensely,”It’s calling to you, Ben.”

Ben looked down at the shiny silver and then back to Maz,”Where did you even get this?”

“I’ve been holding onto it for a rather long time, kiddo.” She huffed and then said in a much softer tone than he had ever heard her use before,”I want you to take it. I know you’re not going to use it all that much, but please get it out of my hair.” She grinned and winked at that last part. Ben snorted. 

“I seriously don’t think I can take this. I-it’s not mine.” He ran a hand through his dark, greasy locks. The man then looked back at Maz instead of the case,”Wait- how did you know it was…?” 

She gave him an incredulous look and then said,”You’ve been shifting towards it the entire time without realizing it.”

Sure enough, when Ben looked down, his entire torso was more over the table, leaning towards the wooden case. Damn he really didn’t notice. He immediately shifted backwards, his cheeks reddening a bit in embarrassment as he felt the intense pull from the familiar hilt. He’s seen this thing before, just doesn’t remember when, where, or how. Weird.

“Th-that doesn’t prove anything, Maz. I’m not a hero.” He shook his head.

—fiery red slicing through a door as he froze blaster bolts in midair, sending them back—

—slicing through an innocent man when he refused to give up the location of one of these Resistance bases—

—using the Force to force his way into several people’s minds just because Snoke gave the word, slicing their heads off when they didn’t comply—

Ben flinched at the memories, wondering why they were suddenly coming up after four years of repression. ‘ Why now?! ’ 

“I’m.. I’m not a hero, Maz. I haven’t been for a long time.” He shook his head, closing the wooden case and pushing back towards her,”I can’t start being one right now.”

She grabbed his hand before he could leave, sternly pulling him back down,”You are a hero. Whether you like it or not, kiddo. You’ve been preened to be one since you were a small child. It’s in your blood! Your Grandfather, your mother, your uncle, your father! Even your handsome hunk of an uncle. Your droid is even a hero!” She chuckled, noticing Ben’s disgusted scowl at the mention of “handsome hunk” being used to describe Chewie.

“My point is, Ben… you come from a long line of heroes. It does not matter what you have done in your past, what matters is what you do now. What you’ll do with this second chance and what you’ll do in the future.” She gently pushes the box, somehow sensing and knowing that he very much would like to take it(Maybe he was leaning over the table again?),”So I will insist one more time. Please. Take it.” 

Ben didn’t come here expecting to find a lightsaber. One he subconsciously recognized no less. He wasn’t looking for adventure, glory, or being a hero. He stopped his little marches a long time ago. He knew he killed that part of him a long time ago- the very same part that wanted to explore the stars, each and every one of them. He knew he had killed that innocence when he became Kylo Ren. 

The man shivered, suddenly feeling warnings ringing through the Force like a siren and he looked up,”The Force is screaming, Maz. Something’s happening topside.” He stated seriously.

Maz narrowed her eyes and shoved the wooden box into Ben’s hands, grabbing a large blaster she kept by the door, slinging it over her shoulder and motioning for the man to follow her. Ben narrowed his gaze at the box in his hands and decided,”Gah! Fuck it!” He whisper-shouted, grabbing the stupid thing and clipping it to his belt, booking it after Maz. He’ll figure it out when he feels safer and the Force didn’t feel like it was dying .

The duo were immediately greeted by Stormtroopers telling them to surrender. Ben snorted and waved his hand and said,”You will let us go. And you have never seen us here.”

They repeated it back apathetically and stepped to the side, allowing the duo to pass.

“I’m impressed, kiddo. You’ve gotten very good at that.” She chuckled wholeheartedly. He grins.

(Ben remembers when he was first told about the Jedi- well he found out (cough cough he accidentally Force-lifted several rocks and people in the air on accident and panicked cough cough) at three and then they sort of told him out of necessity- he was almost instantly in love with the idea of them being peace-keeping heroes. He especially fell in love with the name Anakin Skywalker, his Grandfather. An incredible hero to the Republic and, if you asked little three-year-old Ben, the perfect role-model to latch onto. Current-Ben still believed his Grandfather was an incredible hero, but he didn’t look up to people blindly anymore. Oh no, that ship sailed(and sunk) with Snoke. 

When Ben first met Maz, he remembers he tried to con her by using the Force. He was four-years-old then. Barely three years before he was taken to Luke’s Shitty Temple™️. And his poor dad was so confused- he never really understood the Force business to begin with. But yeah it was a fond memory for both Maz and Ben. Ben because he managed to get two bars of chocolate and Maz because she willingly gave the child the chocolate, playing with his little antics. He looked pretty much the same as when he was a child except for the major differences such as his height and older facial features.)

The duo booked it into the main area, Maz sliding behind the counter and Ben stopping several blaster bolts from hitting innocent(not a term he’d use, but it was in the moment , okay?!) bystanders, shooting them back at the Stormtroopers and taking them out. Maz took care of the rest of them and ordered everyone to use the back entrance if they wished to leave and the front if they wished to fight. It was evenly split between the fighters and deserters.

Ben marched outside, a man on a mission. He needed to get back to his ship before Kimaura Ren found him. It would not be good for him, or anybody here, if he’s found. She may even think they were harboring him like a fugitive. He won’t put Maz in danger like that. Never again will he put someone in danger like that. 

(Ben refused to acknowledge the memories trying to resurface and bubble up to the top. Nori’s death wasn't his fault… was it..?)

The man Force-ran through the trees, running blindly and using the Force to guide him(the Falcon was rather hidden and he liked being in-touch with the Force), using some as springboards as he ran to the East, where he had parked the Falcon and left Artoo- ‘ Shit! Artoo! ’ Artoo had a map… a very important map.. although it was incomplete , he still can’t let his best buddy fall into the enemy’s hands. Ben found himself bounding even quicker through the snow, leaping over rocks and fallen logs. He would’ve COMM’d Artoo had he been in range, but Ben really liked to take walks through forests and to be fair, he liked these familiar forests! Although now, maybe he should’ve asked Artoo to stretch the communications system a bit further out. Blame his lack of foresight for this one.

Ben slid to a stop in front of a rock when he felt a familiar Force-presence near him. Just behind the rock was a crater that contained the First Order camp.

‘ Wait what?! I thought I was heading East, away from the Camp?! Not West! ’ The Force told him he was going the right direction and the woods were still very familiar here so what in the actual name of fuck was going on?! 

The Force is telling you you’re going in the right direction.

Ben jumped, making sure to block his signature from the Knight before him. She seemed to be gesturing to troopers. The camp was within the large drop below him, protected by the rock layers of walls and the many trees above their heads. 

“Who the hell are you?!” He whisper-yelled to himself, peering over the rock and trying to tell the Force to TAKE HIM TO THE DAMN FALCON. PLEASE.

You know who I am, Ben. A translucent blue hand landed on his shoulder, freaking him enough to nearly make himself scream. He turned and his eyes widened.

“Grandfather..?” The familiar young man stood before him, see-through and blue,”Why are you here?! How?! ”

The man chuckled, kneeling down next to him and tapping the lightsaber clipped to his belt,”You've bonded with it just like Luke did. That’s one of the reasons.” 

Ben stared in utter disbelief. That wasn’t how the Force worked from his knowledge,”I’m- what? ” He was beyond bamboozled at this point.

Anakin sighed, sitting down next to the young man,”Another reason was that the Force wanted me to guide you. Your subconscious called to me.”

“That is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” Ben gave his grandfather a look,”Whatever- can you guide me to which way the Falcon is?”

Grandfather shook his head, looking Ben in the eye,”You can’t keep running from your past, Ben. Trust me on that one. It’ll catch up to you eventually. It’s better if you’re ready for it.”

“Well I’m very clearly not ready for it ! Which way is the goddamn Millenium Falcon?! ” Ben nearly screeched, but remembered the extreme threat below and his will to protect his droid(He cared for Artoo, but not because he had the map to his Uncle. No, no not the map at all! Luke could kiss his ass for all Ben cared. All Ben wanted to do was keep Artoo safe. If he could give the map to the First Order, he would in a heartbeat, but for whatever reason, Artoo actually cared for Luke. Luke meant nothing to Ben anymore. Not after that night.) was very strong at the moment. Ben couldn’t trust the Force right now so it’s a damn shame he’s God-awful with directions otherwise he would’ve booked it to his ship by now.

Ben peered over the rocks and narrowed his eyes at Kimaura, making sure he was quiet and he turned around and walked back into the treeline. Anakin put his hand on Ben’s shoulder once more and forced the younger man to look at him.

“Listen to me, Ben. It’s better to face your demons sooner rather than later -“ he tried and Ben narrowed his eyes, cutting him off.

“I’d like to keep all my bones how they are currently and not in shards , thank you very much.” He walked through the Force-ghost,”This isn't my fight. Not anymore. Why can’t anyone understand that?!” 

The man must’ve been a lot louder with his words than he realized because the Force screamed at him to MOVE! And he ducked to the side, rolling away from a huge metallic ball being thrown into the ground where he had been standing. Well shit. Thanks Grandfather because now he was about to get his ass absolutely handed to him.

“Shit shit-!” Ben scrambled to get away just as a chain wrapped around his ankle, pulling him into the dirt and dragging him backwards. He dug his fingers into dirt, using everything in his power to get away just as he saw a shadow befall him. 

Ben quickly used a well-timed Force-push to get Kimaura off of him, grabbing his blaster and shooting the chain off his ankle and getting to his feet quickly. 

“Grandfather, if you're still here, now would be a good time for your OH SO GREAT GUIDANCE!” Ben hissed out loud as he ran into the trees, using the Force to push and pull said trees behind him. He couldn’t hear Kimaura, nobody ever did unless she wanted you to, but he could feel her rage and betrayal hot on his tail(Ha that rhymed).

I’m working on it, Ben. Anakin snorted. He sounded amused. The fucking audacity-

Ben felt the heat of a lightsaber just barely miss his head when he quickly ducked to the left at the pull of the Force. He cringed when he suddenly heard the Knight’s pounding footsteps as she ran after him. Had this been any other Knight, they likely would’ve taunted him and called him a coward and a traitor for abandoning his post. He was the Knight of Ren with the most raw power and potential, according to Snoke. Like he’d believe that bald creep anytime soon.

The young man suddenly stilled, no longer able to move and cringed when he realized Kimaura was using the Force. He felt his muscles tense as he kept trying to break free. Ben had never been able to break himself away from her when she did this and it sucked ass. He could feel her probing his mind and almost immediately reinforced his mental shields. This was going to be a very difficult battle if he wanted to live and get back to Artoo.

Ben. Use the lightsaber. I will give you some of my strength. Use it well, Grandson. Despite Ben barely knowing his Grandfather for a total of ten minutes, he felt warmth at being called Grandson. The same kind of warmth he hadn’t felt in a very long time, not since he lived with his parents.

The Smuggler suddenly felt extremely powerful, his muscles rejuvenated and he, for the first time in history , broke out from Kimaura Ren’s power. Ben quickly grabbed the lightsaber from his belt and activated it, a blue blade hissing to life. Ben felt at home holding the weapon, getting into a stance he hadn’t used in two years.

“This is where the fun begins.” Ben bared his teeth. He was not going back to Snoke. He refused. Even if that meant losing his life.

The two circled in the mini-clearing before they promptly ran at each other, their lightsabers clashing together, red and blue meeting each other, blow for blow. Both had been Knights of Ren and both were very strong within the Force. Thankfully, Ben was so much stronger .

Kimaura flipped over the former-Knight, kicking him in the back. Ben stumbled forward, quickly regaining his balance as he swiftly turned and launched himself at the silent warrior. He locked his gaze onto where her eyes would’ve been and he felt her looking back through the small slit in her helmet.

Ben felt for a nearby tree and pushed away just as she brought it down over the Knight of Ren. She, of course, caught it without even looking and sped towards him, bringing up her other lightsaber to try and stab him in the gut. Ben quickly backflipped away, parrying one swing of her’s while he was in the air and landed on a nearby Boulder, using it to help launch him into the treetops. Kimaura followed closely behind and the two began their squabble above the dirt floor. 

The Smuggler ducked under a swing and punched her knee in, grabbing onto a lower branch and catching himself with it. He watched her leg buckle and cause her to fall, landing her on a branch just above the ground. Ben pounced, going to slice for her arm, but missing and instead slicing the branch, causing them both to land on the ground once more.

Ben growled when the two weren’t getting anywhere, simply stepping forward or back or to the side, parrying and exchanging blows. He slid back after a particularly strong hit and threw his arm up, shoving Kimaura as hard as he could into a tree and narrowing his eyes in concentration on what the Force wanted him to do now. He currently had the power of his Grandfather, probably the most powerful Force-sensitive in history , and he could feel it wearing off so he needed to end this quickly. 

Ben felt the Force around the trees and used those to slam into Kimarua’s body, throwing her into the dirt. His lightsaber hissed, deactivating, and he turned around, running in the right direction this time as he clipped the hilt to his belt. He knew Kimaura wasn’t dead, he could practically feel her calm signature melt into one of bewilderment and shame. She wouldn’t go down that easily and he would’ve stayed to fight, but a more rational part of him told him he was quickly running out of steam and that he needed to get to Artoo. And fast .

Chapter Text

Red light glowed from the darkness, meeting with a much less unstable red blade, lighting up the dimly-lit warehouse. He was angry today, the nightmares having invaded his sleep. He was hurting and nobody was listening to him except Snoke. Just because he was fourteen and new to the First Order didn’t make him a Kriffing idiot. He knew what he was doing, but they all treated him like a worthless, foolish child! Like he wasn’t even there! At least when he was back at the Temple, he was a somebody . He was a distant Prince of Alderaan on his mother’s side- a respected senator and of royalty as well as apart of the infamous Skywalker bloodline- he was a Smuggler at heart and an insanely powerful Force-sensitive, a direct descendant of a powerful senator and Queen of Naboo as well as the grandson of The Chosen One, a hero with no fear! Hells, his adoptive grandparents were powerful Alderaan leaders! But here… here he was a nobody. He wasn’t some powerful Knight of Ren because he hasn’t earned that title yet, or a Jedi or even a soldier. He was the weakling child that swapped sides because he could, because he was told to, because he was scared . This angered Kylo significantly that he had little to no respect just because he was five-foot one inch at fourteen. Just because he was a child.

It pissed him off more than anything. And he was currently taking his anger out on his sparring partner, Saphura Ren. 

Saphura was a much taller man than Kylo, in fact he was sixteen, just a few years older than Kylo, and stood at six-foot three. Saphura was broad-shouldered and rather weak in the Force, but his physical prowess negated any doubts of his capabilities as a Knight. He wore a similar outfit to the rest of them except for the white-speckled scarf around his neck. His helmet was vaguely skull shaped with blue accents instead of silver like Kylo’s. 

Kylo struck down, slamming his cross-shaped lightsaber into the other’s double-bladed one. Neither spoke, instead using their powers to take the other on- Kylo using his Force abilities to be quicker or stronger and Saphura using his natural battle instincts to duck or dive away from any possibly fatal hits. Kylo wasn't exactly known for taking it easy among the Ren Clan whenever they sparred or trained together, instead choosing to maim his prey. Saphura could relate, but he had a rule against younger beings so he was holding back on Kylo.

Kimaura watched as the boys fought below, laying above on a metal frame outline of the building they were in since Snoke wanted the Knights to all be planetside for three months worth of training. It’s barely been four days and tension was already all over the place, permeating the air. She watched with curious eyes, feeling the youngest’s rage building up underneath his skin. He had been here for barely three months and was already making himself out to be a very dangerous enemy.

Kylo narrowed his eyes under the mask and used a very strong Force-push to shove Saphura away from him, slamming him into a nearby wall in a rage. The young Ren then proceeded to punch Saphura in the stomach and Force-throw him onto the floor on the opposite end of the warehouse. He had been practicing that ever since his days as a Padawan and he was good at it. No. He was incredible at it.

Saphura groaned and shook his head, dazedly standing on his two feet and awkwardly stumbling a little before falling on his ass again. Kylo was the victor. For the first time since being here, he was the victor. He was powerful. 

“Ah.. congratulations, young one. You have defeated one of the strongest Knights of Ren! I knew you could do it, young one!” The slithery voice of Snoke echoed in all their ears, echoing down halls and alerting the other Knights to appear, standing in formation before the hologram of their great and powerful leader. All ten of them, standing in a line with their arms tucked behind their backs, helmets over their heads.

The voice always sent shivers down Ben- Kylo’s- spine. He was told by the others that he was just getting used to the power and danger radiating from this man. Kylo cleared his throat, trying his best not to twitch as he felt a warmth spread throughout his body. Snoke was proud of him! The Force practically radiated with pride around the hologram.

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.” Kylo spoke as calmly as he could, feeling the shiver of excitement at having proven himself to their ruler. 

“With all due respect, Supreme Leader,” Hypho Ren, one of the older and more powerful(well respected) of the Knights, spoke up, bowing his head in respect,”but I believe you said we would be receiving missions while Planetside? And I believe I speak for all of us when I say we’ve all been getting a little antsy and stir-crazy to get out there and help our cause.” 

Hypho’s voice was rather deep, echoing. He stood at about six-foot seven inches and was very broad-shouldered. His lightsaber was the only one that stood out from the rest, being a golden color, choosing not to have a secondary weapon like every other Knight. His armor was much like all of theirs, but like all of them, it always had a few changes. Instead of having silver accents, they were gold- like his lightsaber- and his outfit was much more armored and well-fitting. 

“Ah, yes! Thank you for reminding me, General Hypho. I have come to give each of you ten tasks to complete on this planet to help further your training. I want you each to go out and find three items, scattered across the planet.” Snoke showed a list- three Kitraura stones from the Northern Hemisphere of the planet, six Sesapho metals from the planet’s core, and a Sith holocron from the Sith Temple, rumored to be on the far east side of the planet, over the Vivorous Mountains,”Whichever one of you gets the Holocron first will have the opportunity to become my personal Knight of Ren, completing missions and tasks that I will assign personally. You will also be granted ten vacation days, able to use them whenever you see fit- with my supervision, of course. Do whatever is necessary to get the Holocron. Whatever. Is. Necessary. ” 

Kylo Ren practically vibrated where he stood. A chance to truly prove himself to the Supreme Leader! A chance to prove himself to the Stormtroopers and to everybody else in the First Order that he wasn’t a fucking joke! Kylo knows that the only reason he won against Saphura today was because Saphura didn’t hit “kids” and that the older teen wasn’t even trying. Kylo knew that he only won because he caught the other off-guard, because he was angry and used that to tap into the dark-side of the Force, something he was always warned about even while he worked for Supreme Leader Snoke. Snoke didn’t want any of them to tap far into the dark-side, but he didn’t exactly frown too heavily upon it. He encouraged healthy uses of the dark side, yes, but he also warned them to stay very far from it as well, almost as if he himself was afraid of it. Which was absurd! Supreme Leader Snoke was not afraid of anything. 

(‘He just wants the power for himself...’  Kylo shook that thought away. Even if it was true, why would Snoke want to try and make the Knights more powerful than him? That didn’t add up in Kylo’s so very humble opinion.)

The hologram flickered off and almost everybody began to run towards their First Order-issued Tie-Fighters. Kylo was no exception, using the Force to help activate his ship beforehand and leaping into the cockpit. Everybody wanted to be the personal Knight of the Supreme Leader! That was, in and of itself, a huge honor! Kylo could see it now. Him ordering around people like Captain Hux. He could shove it in that asshole, redhead’s face that he was higher ranking than him! He would finally, FINALLY, prove to everybody that he was worthy of the title Knight of Ren! And he would do anything, anything, to get his grubby little hands on that Holocron.

Kylo swore to it, feeling his anger and hatred for anybody who got in his way bubble and boil under his skin. He would skin anyone who got in his way alive, not caring if it was another Knight or if it was Luke or whoever. He didn’t care and it didn’t matter. All Kylo knew was that he would maim and kill anybody that got in his path and… he didn’t really mind these murderous thoughts. If Luke was allowed to try and kill a child, his nephew no less, then who was Kylo to deny his true nature? 

Ben, don’t go down this path… something whispered in his ear for the seventh time this month. Kylo shivered for a second, taking his hand off the controls and feeling the back of his neck in confusion as he steered the ship towards his first location, the east side of the planet. For whatever reason, Kylo had been hearing a stupid voice in his head again, calling him that damned name and telling him that he shouldn’t do what Snoke asks (for as long as he could remember, he’d been hearing voices so this was nothing new, but Kylo thought they had left a little after he ran from the temple and it burned into ashes. Then they recently reappeared). Fuck that. He would do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted!

“Shut up, stupid voice.” Kylo hissed under his breath as he got ready to scour the large planet for any signs of a temple,”My name is Kylo-kriffing-Ren! Ben died the second the Luke drew his lightsaber.” He whispered that last part, more so to himself than the voice, growling as he did so.

He ignored all attempts at communication as the voice tried again. He couldn’t afford to get distracted. Afterall…

Kylo had a spot to claim.

• ••

Sticks and twigs crunched underneath his black boots as the distant sound of blaster fire rained down upon the civilians and people of Maz’s castle, Maz no doubt being one of those people being shot at. He sighed deeply and felt so much more tired and drained and hazy than he had in a while. He was so tired, in fact, that the weight of what’s happened today didn’t even fully hit him until he was on the ramp of the Millenium Falcon , mumbling to Artoo to get the ship ready as he dumped himself into the pilot’s seat, steering the ship away from the Planet’s surface and into space once again.

Ben suddenly snapped out of it and felt all the previous anger and annoyance leave his body like a switch, leaving him feeling strangely weak within the Force, the last wisps of energy leaving him.

“What the actual shit just happened?” Ben shook his head then suddenly felt the weight of the lightsaber and flinched, quickly un-clipping it from his belt and laying it in the Co-pilot’s seat as he put the Falcon into Hyperspace.

Why the hell did he take the lightsaber?! He specifically told Maz that he wouldn’t do that, that it wasn’t his fight. And he went ahead and Kriffing did it?! Also his memory was strangely hazy ever since he ran towards the First Order camp by accident and now he was coming out of that haze, more exhausted and confused than ever. How the shit did he even get on the Falcon?! WHEN DID HE GET TO THE FALCON?!

“What the fuck is actually happening right now..?” He scrubbed his face with his bandaged hands and groaned, putting a hand on Artoo’s dome, patting the droid absentmindedly. Why was he suddenly so freaking tired? What did he do when everything got hazy? All he remembered was him using the lightsaber to fight someone- of course he didn’t remember their goddamn face - and then he distantly remembered running back to the ship, shooting down any Stormtroopers that got in his way. 

The man groaned, hearing Artoo’s concerned chirps and whistles echo around him in the air. Ben waved off the worried Astromech, telling the droid he was fine, just tired.

“ RECHARGE BATTERIES? WILL HELP ?” Artoo chirruped as he put the coordinates into the ship’s Navi-Computer. Ben honestly did not care where they were going at the moment.

Ben nodded, rubbing his eyes and stumbling from his chair,”Yeah that’s probably for the best. Don’t take us anywhere stupid or dangerous, Artoo. I’ll still get someone to fix you up. Better than what I did earlier.” He gave a two-finger salute and went to sleep down in the Gunner’s seat. Ben refused to sleep in the Captain’s quarters or main area after the last few times he did that. The man shivered at the memories, hissing when he landed roughly after jumping off the ladder, jolting his body.

The Smuggler carefully and gently let himself down into the Gunner’s seat, suddenly feeling very sore all throughout his body. He usually never really slept because he was always terrified of having nightmares, but something told him that they wouldn’t haunt him tonight. And who was he to deny the “Will of the Force”?

Ben settled in the seat, enjoying the hypnotic- and slightly nauseating at times- view of Hyperspace. He put his feet up, pulling a lever with his hand to make the seat go back- something he added after the first few times he slept down here. The man closed his eyes, feeling comfort in the humming and thrumming of the engines. It would likely take a couple hours, Standard, in order for them to get anywhere near a friendly or Neutral planet that was decently far away from the First Order. 

Ever so slowly, Ben’s consciousness slipped away as did his everlasting headache- and regular body-aches. Everything eased, fading away into the hazy and calming darkness.

FN-2187 stared at the bloody handprint on his helmet, sweating profusely as he tried to regain his breath. His dark eyes scanned every little smudge of blood on the white and black armor in front of him. Something in his stomach churned and he quickly wiped it off with the rag in his hands when he heard someone approaching. He shoved his helmet back on with haste, standing at attention with his blaster at his side as he did so, just as silver armor rounded the corner. He discreetly threw the bloodied and sullied rag into a nearby basket.

Plasma stared at the young Stormtrooper for a hot second before she spoke in her deep, intimidating voice,”FN-2187-“ he looked up to her in acknowledgement,”General Hux would like to see you.” 

Her cold demeanor was nothing new to FN-2187, he had known her for his whole life and she was always cold to everyone. Even General Hux. It was just how she was trained. How all of them had been trained. How they had been raised.

The trooper nodded, saluting, before walking through the hallways to get to the main deck, the blaster still clutched in his hands. FN-2187 knew he was in trouble for failing to fire at Phasma’s command after they brought on the rebel fighter with the jacket- failed to fire on the civilians. He knew he was likely to be decommissioned- slaughtered like a wild animal because he didn’t follow direct orders - and that frightened him. 

FN-2187’s thoughts had always been a jumbled mess ever since his first mission- on a planet he doesn’t even remember- and that has long been harvested and raided. That was the first time he truly saw and smelled blood for the first time. It truly made him sick to his stomach and he knew it was the same for many of his brother and sister Stormtroopers- although he could tell the majority of them were used to it by now. He, however, was not. He didn’t know what it was about it, but the metallic smell of blood and the rotting stench of corpses always made him queasy. What kind of soldier was he if he couldn’t even handle a little killing?

‘It’s not the fact that you’re killing someone. It’s the fact that they are innocents.’ Some small part of him whispered to himself. And he was right. All those people were innocent bystanders and civilians who had nothing to do with this war the First Order was brewing between the Resistance and themselves. FN-2187 couldn’t take it anymore and had made up his mind just as Phasma had walked in on him earlier.

The trooper turned sharply to the right, instead making his way down to the prisoners. The Rebel fighter they had taken in was a pilot. And a damn good one at that. FN-2187 needed a pilot if his plan was going to actually work . Because as much as he tried to puff up his chest and claim he was an amazing pilot, he really wasn’t. FN-2187 was probably the worst pilot of his division, hence why he was always on ground and planetside operations rather than in the air and risking everybody else’s lives too.

FN-2187 nodded to a trooper he knew, SK-3368, and she nodded back, likely assuming he was on break since he tended to wander. 

He quickly made his way to the cell holding the rebel and looked around, making sure the coast was clear, before pressing a few buttons and overriding the lock controls(hey just because he was a regular trooper, didn’t mean he didn’t pay attention when Phasma threw Rebel-guy in the cell). The man barely raised his gaze, scowling as soon as he saw the Stormtooper before him.

“Whatever General Redhead wants, he can come get himself .” He spat to FN-2187.

‘Jeez. Rather touchy, aren't we?’ FN-2187 snorted to himself, grabbing the guy by the arm and whispering in his ear as he shoved him out of the cell,”I need a pilot. We’re getting off this hellhole.”

Rebel-guy’s eyes widened slightly and he opened and closed his mouth a couple times before FN-2187 shoved him forward again, whispering a quiet,”The cameras are still on. We have exactly one minute and twenty-five seconds to make this work or we are both utterly and completely fucked . Do you understand?” 

“Yea.” Rebel-guy cleared his throat,”Just get me to the hangar and I’ll work my magic. Tie-Fighters will be fine.” 

The Stormtrooper nodded, making their act look believable to any other troopers by keeping the other man’s hands cuffed behind his back- but unlocked- and being rather rude to Rebel-guy, shoving him and giving half hearted insults.

FN-2187 was practically praying to whoever he could and whoever would listen because they had exactly thirty seconds left before all hell rained down upon them and they were both decommissioned. He really fucking hoped this Rebel-guy was, in fact, a great pilot.

He was putting all his faith in the man he just met. This had to be a new, all-time low for any Stormtrooper.

Ben was walking through a field he’s never seen before. There were sounds of a flowing river nearby, gorgeous, clear blue water stared back at him from his spot on the grassy hill. In the distance was a palace with extravagant towers and decorations, even from where he stood he could see them. A warm breeze caressed his cheek, flowing through his hair like a mother’s touch. The sun had little to no bite, just warming his skin up enough to be enjoyable and make him feel fuzzy. The sky was the prettiest shade of blue he had ever seen and the clouds were fluffy, white, and filled with life. He doesn’t remember ever being this calm and relaxed before. He doesn’t remember ever feeling this well-rested before. Somehow, without looking at anything reflective, he could tell that the bags that were previously under his eyes were long gone. Any aches or injuries he had were gone, vanished, and he felt so clean like all the grease and oil and blood that was usually caked into his lightly tanned skin had been scrubbed away from him, leaving him feeling refreshed. 

The atmosphere was very pleasant, very warm. It felt like home. Not that he would remember what that felt like, but it felt great and that’s all he cared about. It felt like he could stand here for hours and hours on end with nobody else except him, watching the sunset and sunrise as many times as he wanted because this was where he belonged. He felt strangely nostalgic for the place in spite of never seeing it before in his life. This wonderful landscape, this place, made his head feel clearer and cleaner than it had in years. His mind was so quiet; there were no whispers tickling the back of his mind and telling him- ordering him - to do awful, horrible things, no little voices echoing and nagging him to listen to his heart and to let his anger go, to be one with the Force. And he didn’t even know if this amazing and beautiful place existed.

“Oh, it exists alright.” A familiar voice echoed behind him, making him turn to face the source.

Before him was a young man with dirty blonde hair and Old-Republic styled armor and Jedi robes. The robes were black in color and his armor was gray. The man’s face held a scar over his right eye, but not as deep as the one on Ben’s own face. His hair was neck-length and he had a black glove on his right hand, a lightsaber clipped to his belt. His skin was slightly tanned and he had the most alive and vibrant blue eyes Ben had ever seen. This man was Anakin Skywalker. His Grandfather. The Chosen One.

Recognition flashed in Ben’s eyes, as did hazy memories he didn’t remember himself partaking in- such as somehow besting Kimaura Ren in the forest( HOW DID HE DO THAT-? WHEN DID HE DO THAT?! ) and when he took the lightsaber from the box that was currently clipped to Anakin’s belt. There was also the question of how Grandfather knew what he was thinking.

“Oh that’s an easy one! In this place, thoughts echo. Especially when you’re one with the Force.” Anakin sighed contentedly. Ben simply nodded, deciding he was too at peace and honestly did not care enough to argue or ask any questions about that.

Grandfather smiled warmly. It wasn’t like the creepy, double-meaning smiles that Snoke always gave him when he, quote,”did something wrong”, and it wasn’t like the smirk his dad would give when he knew he had won or had found a loophole. Hells, it wasn’t even like the cold, tight smiles Luke gave him when he mastered a Lightsaber Kata or won in a spar(Luke never really smiled to Ben, more like smiled at Ben, if that made any sense. It never felt like Luke actually tried to talk to Ben. It always felt like Luke acknowledged he was there, but refused to see him as his nephew or even as a real, living and breathing person. More of an obstacle for the other kids and students- and Luke himself- had to pass. Instead of congratulating Ben on his victories and successes, he always told the other kids “Oh, he’s showing off again, don't let him get to you.” Or “Oh, don’t worry! You’ll get him next time!” Luke always criticized the things Ben did and never really praised him for anything. It was almost like Luke was scared of tiny little Ben Solo. Ben wasn’t even remotely near the dark side at the time so why Luke was frightened of him, he will likely never know. Luke was significantly more powerful than Ben was in all forms of the word because he was a direct descendant of Anakin Skywalker- Ben was too, but his blood was “diluted”- using Snoke’s term- and Luke could probably slice him down without even thinking about it.). It was a genuine, warm smile with love and warmth and care flowing through the Force all around this man. 

Another thing about him was his insanely bright Force pescense like HOLY SHIT. Ben felt the need to squint at just how bright and loud his Grandfather felt in the Force. And it was all so genuine.  

“This is one of my memories, hence why you don’t remember it.” He became nostalgic, eyes suddenly holding years of something behind them, a sadness coming to his facial features, the smile unwavering,”This is Naboo. Padmè Amidala’s home planet… Your Grandmother’s home planet.”

Anakin walked to be next to Ben, near the downward slope of the hill, and crossed his arms, standing quite a few inches above Ben’s head. Well at least he knew which side of the family his height genetics came from, Goddamn (Anakin snorted at that, holding back laughter before calming himself and looking back over the scenery).

They stood in calming silence for a few seconds before Anakin put his hand on Ben’s shoulder, a rather familiar motion. 

Grandfather sighed,”Now we have to get to business. There is a reason you are able to hear and see me currently… why I haven’t been able to fully reach you.” 

As I stated before, the Force wants me to guide you and to help you through your journey so you won’t make the… same mistakes I did.” Grandfather’s eyes were sad, but he didn’t look through Ben like Luke did. He didn’t look down at Ben(figuratively speaking) like Snoke did. He looks at Ben. He sees Ben for Ben and nobody else. Not Han Solo’s Disaster Child, not The Chosen One’s Grandson, not Luke Lars-Skywalker’s Nephew, not General Organa-Solo’s son, not Kylo Ren…

Anakin Skywalker looked at Ben Solo . Just Ben Solo- nothing else. And it was an amazing feeling to just be seen . Truly seen. Ben didn’t even know that was something he wanted. Anakin respected Ben enough to look him in the eyes and be genuine with him. 

Ben nodded, keeping his gaze focused on his Grandfather’s face and soaking up the information like a Gungan sponge. 

“I know everything that’s happened to you and… I just want to say I am so sorry , Ben. I am so sorry. So very sorry that I couldn’t be with you and help you sooner.” Grandfather put both hands on Ben’s shoulders now, bringing him into a tight hug- the first hug Ben’s had in years. Holy shit- what the fuck- Ben never liked hugs before why is it different now-?

Ben stammered, bringing his arms up awkwardly before robotically putting them around his Grandfather, feeling a warmth blossom throughout his frame,”I don’t know why you’re apologizing… you didn’t do anything wrong…” Ben was, in fact, genuinely confused. All he knew was that something from somewhere was the will of the Force or some shit and he didn’t know who to the what and the where and the why anything was happening anymore. 

‘I think I’ve given up on trying to understand things...’ Ben sighed into his Grandfather’s robes, the two of them staying like that for what felt like an eternity, just soaking in each other’s presences, before finally pulling away.

“..I should’ve been there for you.. I should’ve tried harder to reach you.” The blonde shook his head, sighing,”But that’s not the reason you’re here right now. What you’re here for is to be informed that someone needs to stand up to the First Order.”

Ben’s nice warm and fuzzy feeling suddenly dropped and the warm atmosphere turned cold and dull- much like the throne room. Grey, black, grey, black, grey, black. The only white thing in the starships were thousands upon thousands of Stormtroopers all at his disposal- causing Ben to shiver slightly. Ben went to open his mouth, but Grandfather beat him to it.

“Listen.. I know you really don’t want to fight, can’t fight. Not right now, anyways, but they still need someone who will stand up to the darkness and who will stand up to Snoke’s evil. Now believe me when I say Snoke is a very, very dangerous threat. He’s essentially your version of Emperor Palpatine.” Anakin spat the Emperor’s name like it was sour, making a disgusted face,”Even though Snoke is definitely no where NEAR Palpatine’s power, Snoke is still a very dangerous and real threat… and I’m very tired of people thinking it’s okay to send children to fight murderous Sith-Lords.” 

Anakin seemed to add that last part as an afterthought, annoyance and anger flooding throughout his Force signature, but Ben could tell it wasn’t angled towards him, but it was towards something, or someone, else.

(From what Ben could tell, Snoke wasn’t exactly a Sith, but he was very damn close. Snoke wanted all the Knights to be more of Grey Jedi, than anything, strangely enough, but the First Order’s leader, himself, was borderline Sith. For all Ben knew, Snoke was a Sith, just minus the legendary golden eyes. Even then Ben’s never actually seen him in person- unless it was for a punishment, but even then it was always hard to tell. Even when Ben was the right hand of the First Order, he barely ever saw Snoke in person… Ben was always confused as to why Snoke didn’t promote the dark side, seeing as the Grey Jedi are likely more powerful than either side due to the ability to take from both halves of the Force. He would’ve assumed that Snoke didn’t want anyone to be more powerful than him.).

Ben narrowed his eyes,”I’m twenty. Hardly a child.” The ravenette snorted, squaring his shoulders and standing less slumped over as if to emphasize his point.

“First of all,” Anakin scoffed,”You’re still nineteen. You have a couple more days until twenty, young man.”

And secondly, you are still technically a child in my eyes. You are so young. You were around my age when the Clone Wars began to come to a close and I-…” Anakin choked, looking away,” My point is, you are still so very young and should be living your life to the fullest while you’re in your prime! You shouldn’t be fighting a war, no matter what your past is.”

Anakin’s eyes held a sadness no one his physical age really should, eyebrows scrunched together in a stressed sort of way, shoulders and muscles always tensed as if constantly waiting for an attack to happen. Ben looked at every little twitch and tensed muscle on his Grandfather’s face, practically feeling the tension and sorrow the older man was radiating. It made Ben angry and sad that someone had managed to hurt a member of his family like this. Too bad they likely weren’t still alive seeing as the Old Republic was destroyed nearly a hundred years ago. 

Ben had vowed to never get anywhere near Luke Skywalker or Snoke again, vowing to never fight against or for the Rebels. He never wanted to be in a fight, but if what his Grandfather was telling him was true , he would have to . One way or another. But that didn’t exactly feel like what Anakin was saying, so he stayed silent, holding his tongue for once in his life, and waited for the blonde to continue.

Anakin sighed for the unpteenth time, shoulders slumping slightly, but still tensed as he spoke in a softer, yet still stern tone,”Listen, Ben… I know, I know , you don’t want to see him, but someone has to go find Luke. You are the only other person in the galaxy who has the map to my son. Artoo is only one half, the other currently on its way to the Rebellion and your mother. Especially if you’re not gonna be the one fighting Snoke.”

Ben’s world almost immediately stopped spinning. Just when he thought someone had understood him too… just when he thought he was being listened to… now he was being told he had to find and face his would-be murderer?! His dark eyes narrowed, face turning into a scowl as green flashed before his eyes. Ben moved as quickly as he could, bringing down the temple and snatching his lightsaber hilt from the nightstand next to his bed, shooting to his feet, ignoring Luke’s shouts of,”Wait! Ben!”. The ravenette shot through the halls like a blaster bolt, fear ringing through the Force. The voice was right! Luke was going to kill him!

Ben blinked, watching the memory fade away as he stared into the deep, concerned blue of his Grandfather’s eyes. The younger man stepped back slightly, feeling his muscles tense.

“I will never look for that Nerf-herding bastard for as long as I live. ” Ben growled, feeling the Force around him become more violent and angry. 

Anakin looked sad before he spoke softly, apologetically- Ben realized,”Then give Leia the map. Give them Artoo… then…then you’ll never have to see them again.” 

Ben didn’t know how to respond. Artoo was his best friend- he ignored how sad that sounded even to his own ears the fact that his co-pilot and very good friend was a droid- and he would never willingly give up Artoo. Especially for Luke… but then Ben would have to shove himself in the line of fire once more, actually facing off against his old allies- who were all very much stronger than him- , reveal himself alive to Snoke if he didn’t know already(which he likely does now, Shit. ), and actually have to deal with all that shit again. Ben may have sounded selfish to everybody else- hell he sounds a little bit selfish to his own ears- but he knew he could be killed or weaknesses exploited. Especially during a battle if random memories continued to pop into his mind because of the tiniest, little things…! 

Ben didn’t want to die. Especially not at nineteen or twenty. But he sure as hell didn’t want to get anywhere near Luke again.

‘Fuck.’ Yes. Fuck indeed. Ben sighed, scrubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands, feeling his shoulder muscles tense. He was torn and he didn’t know what to do. On one hand, he could easily turn over Artoo to the Rebels and be done with it and likely never see Artoo again either because he loves Luke more or because he finally kicks the bucket. On the other hand, Ben joins the fight and they likely go find Luke without Ben, likely costing him Artoo as well… and possibly even the Falcon since last he checked, the Resistance didn’t have any fast moving ships that could handle heavy fire, tractor beams, etc, and still get you to where you needed to be in record time(okay maybe he was exaggerating a bit, but she’s his fucking pride and joy) . Then again, that was several years ago.

Then a thought struck Ben. It was entirely R2-D2’s choice. The man sighed, breaking his own reasonings and selfishness by accident. It was Artoo’s choice to decide on whether he wanted to stay with Luke or Ben and it was Artoo’s choice on if he wanted to go to the Resistance. Now, some people may say he sounded absolutely fucking stupid by considering a Droid’s choices, but to Ben, Artoo was more than a droid. More like an older, sassy friend(wow that’s also kind of sad to admit. Ben really does not have friends and he is just now realizing that) that could hack almost any system. 

As soon as Ben thought about Artoo, he crumbled, his resolve dissolving into nothingness as he looked back up to meet his Grandfather’s- strangely patient- gaze. Dark, warm brown met vibrant, electric blue and Anakin perked up immediately, shoulders no longer slumping and muscles no longer tense. 

Ben sighed and Anakin smiled sadly to the younger man, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Believe me when I say I am grateful that you’ve changed your mind, but please remember that you are technically still a child in all but physical age.” The blonde’s smile dropped,”Also please remember that it is your choice on whether you want to go to the Resistance or not. Not Artoo’s. ”

Anakin was finding loopholes for his Grandson, pleading with the Force not to send a child- his child’s son - into war. Ben may be over the legal, galactic age of being a Youngling, but mentally was a very different story. Anakin remembered being nineteen and in his twenties, feeling like he was on top of the world, like he was invincible (that is until the war started). No matter who you are or where you came from, at some point in your life you feel invincible. Maybe Ben’s moment already passed, but Anakin was not going to risk it. He would not lose another member of his ever-growing family. Not again. He didn’t want Ben to go into this thinking his choice didn’t matter either… Ben’s choice was entirely up to himself and Artoo’s choices would come with time. Ben’s choice was right now, seeing as he was the Captain of the ship… that is until Anakin looked away from his lovely Grandson, using his ghostly Force abilities to look outside the dreamscape he made for Ben.

Back with Ben, the ravenette spoke,”I… I.. that feels unfair.” He combed a hand through his- strangely soft and bouncy- hair, the warm atmosphere helping to calm and relax him.

“Artoo’s decision matters more to me than my own and I understand it’s technically my decision to not go to the Resistance Base- not that I even remember or know where it is- it could’ve changed for all I know!- but- I’ll-…” Ben trailed off, his thoughts not needing to be said aloud since Anakin could hear everything going through his young charge’s head, despite the rather strong mental shields the younger man had.

‘I’ll feel guilty if I take that away from him…’ The thought echoed throughout the Force, bouncing around the walls of the dreamscape. The thought echoed to Anakin, the feelings of guilt, fear, resentment(but for whom is entirely unsure), and frustration which all stemmed from the younger man before him.

Anakin could still hear Ben talking to him, using the Force to help. He sent reassurances through the Force to the younger, speaking as he multitasked and tried to find out what was happening that made the outside world shift and why it seemed to make the Force cry out in joy.

“Listen, Ben… it is entirely up to y-“ then Anakin saw the location of where Artoo was taking them and sighed, pulling his senses from the real world and giving Ben a wry smirk, causing slight unease to spread through Ben’s signature.

Grandfather chuckled, leaving Ben confused as he stared at the man before him who then calmly met his gaze.

“Hey… sooooo… I guess Artoo made the decision for you. Ha…heh ha…” the blonde grinned awkwardly, using his hands to help articulate his words before going into a half-shrug.

Ben felt his eye twitching, only now remembering that Artoo knew the locations and bases of every single Resistance base. Something the First Order would most definitely enjoy having if they got their grimy paws on his Astromech. Ben realized that Artoo cannot fall into enemy hands, which already adds weight to Ben’s next choice of action. Then he registered what Anakin said and looked the man in the eye.

“Wait- what the fuck do you mean he made the choice for me?!” The younger turned his entire body toward the elder, turning his back on the serene and calming scenery as Anakin winced.

“Well- Uhh… you just remembered he knows the locations of the Resistance right..?” Ben froze, nodding jerkily,”Well, Ben. It appears as though you’re going to be exiting Hyperspace very soon and in the atmosphere of D’Qar.”

Ben stood still, blinking owlishly and the eye twitch still not going away as he stared at The Hero With No Fear.

“WHAT?!” 

FN-2187 was not panicking. He wasn’t okay?! He wasn’t!-… maybe a little. He and Rebel-guy had managed to “yoink-a-doink”(Rebel-guy’s words, not his) a Tie-Fighter and were now flying and dodging blaster bolts and very pissed off First Order soldiers who worked their asses off to get said Rebel-guy in the first place(and who didn’t want to get to e brunt end of Snoke’s or any of the Knights’ anger). FN-2187 did feel bad about that, but he could not, in good conscious, let this guy get tortured and killed for information- plus he needed a pilot. That’s the main reason. Definitely. 

The Resistance pilot snapped out,”hold on tight! We’re being fired at!” To which FN-2187 obeyed immediately, feeling rather cramped in the small ship. He was in the back, using the guns to shoot at the other Tie-Fighters, trying not to make the shots lethal since those were still his brothers and sisters in those ships.  

“Anyways-“ the pilot huffed, dodging a few Ties flying overhead,”So- what's your name, Storm-boy?” 

‘Storm-boy? What the hell…? These Resistance guys are hella weird...’ FN-2187 would be lying if he said his cheeks didn’t heat up a bit when he remembered that he had given the other man the nickname “Rebel-guy”, adding a red-ish tint to his dark skin.

“Designation FN-2187.” The pilot made a face that the trooper couldn’t see, then jerked the ship away from an upcoming volley of gunfire. Those numbers weren’t gonna work for the pilot, that didn’t seem humane and if anything, that made him even more pissed at the First Order.

“I ain’t gonna say a bunch of numbers as your name… that’s.. that’s not right..” the man sighed then a lightbulb went off in his head,”How about I call you Finn?” The orange-clad man suggested instead, steering the ship away from several fighters as the Stormtrooper behind him shot at the wings of each ship instead of dead-on. The pilot didn’t say anything about that if he noticed.

FN-2187 thought about that for a moment, then grinned widely. He actually liked the name very much and nodded in spite of the man in front of him unable to see him,”I like it. Finn. I’m Finn.”

The Resistance pilot laughed as he pulled their Tie-Fighter away and spun through space,”Nice to meet you, Finn! The name’s Poe. Poe Dameron. Resistance Pilot.”

The former Stormtrooper shot at more fighters, hitting three of the seven and then responded with a,”Nice to meet you too Poe!” 

He ignored the fluttering of his heart when Poe turned to look at him and smiled before turning back and continuing to keep their asses alive. Finn could get used to that smile.

Chapter Text

Poe had been very, very confused- to say the very fuckin’ least- when a Stormtrooper had come to grab him since General Redfuck had said that he would be left there to rot for several days, likely so that he’d go loopy enough to loosen his lips. Sooo… that had left either Deserter or a change of mind.. as it would turn out- in his favor, mind you- the Stormtrooper, Finn, was a Deserter.

‘Ohhh thank FUUUCK. I really did not want to be tortured for information today.’ The young Resistance Pilot had huffed in relief once they got onto the Tie. They had exchanged words and Poe remembered calling the Stormtrooper cute at one point or another, mainly focused on the task at hand; not getting fucking KILLED.

“Hey so how the hell do you know how to fly one of these things?” Finn had asked from behind him as Poe pulled them away from enemy fire, spinning them to the side.

“Haha! That’s actually a very funny story!” Poe quickly brought them to the right, then down again,”I’ve actually stolen several of these for the Resistance before.”

  ‘I used to be a Smuggler just like the late, great, infamous Han Solo. And much like General Solo, I also used to fight for the tyrannical side..’ Poe remembered when Han had first told him that story when he had first joined the fight against the First Order. He had been close to just stepping out of the fight from both sides, to be a full-on Deserter… he wanted nothing more than to just… leave everything behind and maybe see Zorii again. After everything, he still owed her an apology and a couple drinks. General Solo had been there, caught him trying to steal a ship, and told Poe the story of the infamous Han Solo and how his smuggling journey started and how he almost became a Deserter as well. He’s looked up to the General ever since and whenever the two had time they’d trade stories over a few drinks.

“Makes sense.” Finn continued to press buttons and do random shit back there  that Poe couldn’t be bothered to think about right now as he focused on not getting the two killed.

The ravenette narrowed his eyes, forcing the Tie to the left and away from an enemy fighter. He could hear the sounds of the guns moving from within the ship, Finn aiming to simply put out of commission, not kill. Poe could respect that seeing as barely a few minutes earlier the man had been on the same side as them, following orders and being herded like a domesticated Bantha. 

“All we’ve gotta do is find my droid, BB-8, and get back to base.” Poe calmly forced their ship to the right, then up and then back to the right again, hearing the screaming and whirring of the machine he was piloting. He could hear Finn hum in acknowledgment. BB-8 had bits and pieces of the Luke Skywalker map and the little orange and white droid also had locations to every goddamn Resistance Base in the system. If they didn’t succeed, the Resistance would be at an extreme disadvantage- what an understatement. They had to succeed or risk everything they’ve worked so hard for.

“Last I checked, you guys were shipping him off to the main ship by the Inner Rim? And the ship that has him is- what- on a freighter heading toward Jakku?” 

“Shit-!” Finn cursed at the sudden turn, nearly slamming into the durasteel wall to his right,”Huh-? Oh- oh yea! It left approximately six standard minutes ago.”

Poe grinned ferally, his eyes narrowing as their Tie dodged and weaved through the others, Finn shaving off their wings with the guns,”Then I suppose we better punch it!” 

Somewhere else in the Galaxy, Han Solo felt a disturbance in the air, but shrugged it off as he was busy worrying over his son.

The pilot quickly flipped a switch, turning on their boosters and setting in coordinates, then he remembered,”What’s the Serial Code for the ship? Do you know?” 

If Poe could get the code then maybe he could also track the freighter to see if they were close or not and if it had any escorts.

“Serial Code…?” The former-Stormtrooper tilted his head, although Poe couldn’t see it, he could imagine it in his head and thought it was adorable.

“Y’know..? The numbers?” Poe sighed when he heard a meek and confused ‘No…?’.

“The codename? All that shit?” He tried again

“Oooohhhhh.” Finn winced quietly, still shooting at the last two Tie-Fighters tailing them,”Well why didn’t you say so? The Codename it went by was The Excavator. Sadly, I don’t know the numbers. ”  

Poe snorted,”With a name like that? Don’t worry about the numbers-“ and swiftly imputed the name into the system and waited a couple seconds, hoping it was the right one,”It locked on anyways. Thanks, bud.”

He couldn’t bear to not have his little buddy by his side again, his beloved droid. BB-8 was an intelligent and a very sweet BB unit. Poe honestly could not wait to see him again and was hoping and praying desperately that his little buddy was on that First Order-Class Freighter.

•••

The duo had managed to lose the last two fighters and had finally caught up to the ship carrying Poe’s copilot and the Resistance’s last hope. The pilot in question silently pulled their ship near the Freighter, requesting a docking. Finn had managed to use his Stormtrooper experience and actually get them docked without looking suspicious.

“A routine checkup.” Finn had said,”Supreme Leader Snoke’s new orders to check every single Freighter at the halfway point.”

Poe was honestly astounded- and possibly a little bit disappointed- at how easy it was to get aboard the opposing ship. Now all Poe needed was to steal some Stormtrooper armor and they were good to go. Good thing Finn was easily able to lure one to their hiding spot- behind some extra supplies and crates in a corner of the hangar- where they knocked him unconscious and stripped him of his armor, thankfully having undergarments on underneath the blacks.

The two armor clad men began their search by discreetly disappearing down a corridor, Finn leading the way since according to the ex-trooper, First Order Freighters were all built the exact same way to not waste resources and time trying to come up with different designs. Poe personally thought it was an idiotic move seeing as once someone got the layout of the ship, it really was not that hard to guess the layout of all the other’s making prison escapes much easier. Poe may or may not have filed that information for later for the Resistance.

The two walked briskly in a kind of awkward silence, seeing as the two had nothing to really say to each other. Poe found his new companion to be strange, but he was hella grateful to whatever deity that was in charge today had gifted him with Finn- the man who saved him from likely getting tortured until he spilled and then likely tortured some more before he was slaughtered like an animal. Finn, on the other hand, knew next to nothing about talking to regular people who weren’t in the chain of command which is why he was being quiet for the most part. The ex-trooper had grown up with the First Order and living under Snoke was all he knew. After several months of rigorous planning and patience, Finn had finally managed to free himself from the horrors of working for the First Order. And it was invigorating. Finn had never felt so free in his entire life. Was this what the Resistance was fighting so hard for? This whole time? Finn honestly couldn’t believe how immensely fucking great and satisfying it was to go against orders for the first time- well- technically second if you count him not firing upon a civilian earlier today- in his life.

Poe coughed quietly, clearing his throat,”So what’s the game plan here? Are we just going to play it off as moving the prisoner? Also where in the hell would they even keep BB-8? We don’t have time to check every cell on the ship.”

Finn continued, whispering back,”Luckily for us, Imperial Freighters don’t have very many cells, instead opting to usually have four large ones on the bottom-most layer of the ship. They usually keep all the criminals and prisoners together, not caring if they hurt or sometimes even kill each other. I think their reasoning was because there were less people to deal with.”

“That’s…I-… that is very, very.. uh , fucked up.” 

Finn shrugged, the armor clicking together in some places as he led the way, suddenly taking a right and being faced with elevators and several other troopers that stopped them from being able to plan some more. Poe immediately felt his muscles tense and hackles rise, instinctively clenching his blaster, but making no move to fire. He sighed mentally, feeling sweat bead on his forehead at all the other Stormstroopers grouping together and gossiping about random shit. Poe had been a Stormtrooper before, although for a very short amount of time. Unlike the majority- 99.9%- of Stormtroopers, he wasn’t taken from birth and raised to be a soldier. He had willingly signed up because he was lied to about the pay being extremely good and at the time he had some pretty horrible debt to several very dangerous groups of people. He hadn’t been paid once and that honestly pissed him off more than anything at the time.

The duo waited for the elevator to ding, trying not to draw attention to themselves, but also listening to a bit of the gossip because some of that shit was actually really funny for Poe.

“You guys will never believe it! Kimaura got her ass handed to her! By some kid with black hair! I’ve got the holovid right here-!” One cried to another, laughing.

“Did you hear about TK-278?” A shake of the head.

“Wait really?! That dumbass tried to desert us and got blasted!” A snort of laughter and more clinking of the blindingly white shiny armor.

“Hey did you hear we may be getting more breaks and/or shower tokens?” A deep feminine voice asked.

“What? Did you hear that from HR-8690 or something? That ain’t happening.” A scruffier voice replied, huffing through his helmet.

Poe continued to listen mainly out of amusement. Also, someone had beaten Kimaura Ren? As in a Knight of Ren?! As in one of the most powerful Force users in the Galaxy ALIVE?! If they were fighting her, then they were on the Rebellion’s side! He’d have to tell Generals Organa and Solo about this one.

Eventually, a small ding notified them that the two elevators had arrived- one going up and another going down. Poe and Finn had managed to shuffle into the one going down with only two other troopers who- conveniently for them- were also going to the Detention Level. Perfect. Poe could honestly kiss whichever Deity was listening right now, but this honestly just felt way too good to be true. Poe really didn’t have a good feeling about this as the elevator doors eventually slid open, revealing a corridor into a three-way split off, each corner being a cell. 

Poe shot the two other Stormtroopers, watching them drop like flies and swiftly, but as quietly as he could, dragged them(with the reluctant help of Finn) into an empty nearby cell and threw them inside, closing it with one of the buttons. He took off the helmet and looked at Finn, whispering a “sorry”. Finn took off his helmet as well and shrugged,”I didn’t know them.” He spoke quietly.

The ravenette watched the Deserter as he marched forwards, looking around with a helmet and blaster in-hand. Poe simply dropped his helmet, knowing it would impair his vision and make him a shit-shot, hence why most Stormtroopers were terrible at aiming. Plus, he’d just grab it on their way out. Much easier than carrying or wearing it, if you asked him.

“Where are… all the other prisoners?” Poe narrowed his eyes, squinting to try and see into one of the large rooms that were made to contain criminals,”And… and all the cameras?” 

Looking around, Poe noted that there wasn’t any security in these dark-ass hallways. Only rayshields covering all the doors that led into the cells. It was… eerie as all hell. There weren’t any cameras. Again- he wasn’t complaining, but he felt… uncomfortable. 

“I… honestly don’t know. Usually, there’s a bunch of people the First-Order just doesn’t like stuffed in these things.” Finn stopped walking and looked in the opposing cell, eyebrows furrowing,”…your droid should- in theory- still be here so…” 

“Alright.. so I’m assuming we’re gonna be saying shit like how we’re moving the prisoner for torture or hacking or whatever?” Poe whispered over his shoulder, continuing to stare into the rather dark room as the two continued to walk.

Finn turned to look ahead as they began to come up on the cross-section, where they’d be able to see all four large rooms,”Yes. That’s the plan, unless you’ve got a better one. That’s all I’ve got currently.” Finn felt a familiar tingling feeling at the back of his head, something telling him that something was definitely wrong and that he and Poe are likely in a lot of danger. He filed that for later and kept his finger ready on the trigger of his blaster, muscles tense and eyes narrowed.

The duo continued into the rather dark corridor and eventually found what they were looking for. They came upon the cell just to the top left of the cross-section and could hear the fearful chirps and whistles of a droid.

The round BB-unit whirred and chittered in fear at first, but then Poe called out excitedly,”Hey, bud! It’s me! It’s me! It’s Poe! We’re here for you!” He grinned from ear to ear and pressed the open button, watching the red laser wall disappear and the circular droid rolled out to him, rubbing and bumping against his armored legs happily.

Poe bent one knee and patted the little droid on the head a couple of times before standing back to his full height and nodding his head to Finn, the two turning and explaining the plan to the small BB-Unit. Once they got closer to the elevator, Poe grabbed his helmet from where he dropped it and pressed the button to go back to the main floor- Finn thankfully remembering what level it was(it genuinely surprised Poe to the fact that this tiny little freighter had more than one level- it had seven. Seven levels. How in the actual fuck-?!)- shoving the white-and-black bucket back over his head. The pair held their blasters in the same way all Stormtroopers were taught to at a young age, especially if they’re prison guards. Poe always thought it was smart how each job you had as a Stormtrooper gave you a certain type of blaster position to have that way you could spend less time communicating and more time getting into action. From what the Rebel had heard, Kylo Ren was actually the one to suggest it. Despite how much the Rebellion feared and/or hated the guy, Poe most definitely respected him for his military prowess. It’s too bad he died a couple years ago, according to the bald bastard Snoke himself. Maybe they could’ve convinced him to fight against Snoke.

The ding of the elevator arriving at the correct floor brought Poe out of his musings and he noticed how lucky they had gotten- again? What the hell?? Where the fuck was this luck when he and his crew were getting attacked and captured?!- to the fact that there were barely any troopers around. 

On the other hand, Finn had never felt more unease in his life. He’s been freaked out before, yes. Scared? Most definitely. Gut absolutely screaming at him to not go down a certain corridor or hallway and to walk the other way? Almost all the time whenever there’s a Knight of Ren around! But the feeling he was getting, just by being closer to their transport and their only means of escape, was really making him want to turn back around and put BB-8 back in that cell. The only thing stopping him from doing just that was the fact that Poe had been so extremely happy to see the little droid. 

(Finn didn’t know what most of the feelings he felt for Poe were. There was definitely something akin to admiration in there for the other man. He also definitely felt an immediate connection with the raven-headed pilot. He felt a lot of gratitude and appreciation for the guy- Corellian Hells- Poe gave him an actual name and got him basic freedom away from the First Order! But underneath that was something else that Finn just could not for the life of him put his finger on and it was driving him up the wall. All he knew was that it made him feel warm and strange inside. But in a good way? If that made any sense??)

The ex-Stormtrooper’s dark eyes narrowed underneath the helmet as he looked around the mostly-empty corridors as he led the other two back to the main hangar where they had parked their Tie. Again, this felt way too easy, but, seriously, he wouldn’t complain if it really was just that easy.  

Neither of the two were aware of the faint, blinking red coming from somewhere on their borrowed Tie-fighter. Nor were they aware of the imminent danger approaching via hyperspace.

Ok.

So.

It really was just that easy. 

Poe honestly couldn’t believe he was sitting in the Tie-fighter with his newfound bestie and his beloved droid. Unharmed. He had begun to pull-out of the hanger, flying away from the freighter, excitement and ecstasy flowing through his body.

“Holy shit- HOLY SHIT—?!” Poe breathed, a grin sliding onto his face.

The pilot laughed hysterically, whooping and pumping his fist and he had just typed in the coordinates for the base, about to punch it right when Finn yelled, ”NO!”

Poe was about the ask, but before he could even open his mouth, something shot them and sent them right into the atmosphere of Jakku.

Well shit.

The duo screamed in fear, BB-8 beeping and whirring out sounds of crying as they began to spin-out, Poe seeing stars and feeling extremely nauseous.

“FINN- WHAT’S OUR STATUS?!”

“NAVIGATION IS OFF-LINE! AND SO ARE SEVERAL OF OUR THRUSTERS!”

The two ex-Stormtroopers screamed at each other on their way down, trying to find any possible way to survive the fall, especially with the wind tearing weak and loose bits from the cockpit. And with the literal fear of God in them, Poe blacked out when they impacted with the ground.

At least the red blinking ceased.

“ARE YOU KRIFFING STUPID?!” One of the generals on-board screeched to the trooper,”WE WERE TOLD TO NOT FIRE ON THEM?! TO LET THEM LEAD US TO THE REBEL BASES?! WHAT THE FUCK, 86?!” 

“Wh-what?! I thought we were supposed to fire-at-will?!” 86 felt panic erupt from his veins, putting his hands up in defense.

“YOU’RE SO LUCKY SNOKE AND HUX AREN’T HERE! You would’ve been decommissioned!” The grey-clad man screeched, pointing a gloved hand into 86’s chest.

The trooper shivered at the mention of being decomm’d. And of Hux. Hux was an ass. 

“We’re also extremely lucky no Knight has been stationed here! Gods- you’re all so useless-.” The last part was whispered, as was a bunch of muttering from the general.

Chapter Text

“WHAT?!”

Ben stared at his Grandfather, his dark eyes wide in shock. He was not ready in the slightest and It did not help that he could feel it in the Force that his mother was there… and his father… Who would likely be pissed about the whole Falcon steali- BORROWING thing. Ben winced at the thought and felt his Grandfather’s sympathy flow through the Force.

“Well… it’s time for you to wake up, kiddo.” Anakin sighed, placing a warm, gloved flesh hand on his left shoulder. He looked the younger one in the eyes,”I will be with you the entire time, okay? I will help you fight against the dark if you need it.” 

The older man was reassuring Ben, knowing his fear of returning to being Snoke’s little errand boy. The fiery red Cross of his lightsaber sliced through the neck of an enemy, growling as he kicked the body off the edge of the cliff, into the misty forest below. Kylo sneered, backing away from the ledge and stalking back toward his Tie-Fighter, angrily typing in the commands to turn the ship on. A hologram of Snoke appeared—

Ben forced the memory out of his head, already knowing where that was going. It was the first time he had failed a mission. He had failed because he let his anger- his rage - get the better of him and he had killed a Resistance officer instead of bringing him in alive and forcing the information they needed out of his head. Kylo Ren had managed to fail in capturing, taking the small, newly-built Resistance base, and extracting information from all of the Resistance fighters. It was the memory of his first punishment. Ben shivered at the illustration of events within his mind, remembering the lightning coursing through his veins and igniting all the nerves in his body as he was shocked into submission and even unconsciousness, blisters lining his back and arms. The scars were still there because they had never healed right, leaving horrid, tree-like marks all along his back. The memories of the pain were always enough to make Kylo and Ben want to do better, to please his master. To please the Supreme Leader.

Now though, Ben wanted absolutely nothing to do with either the Resistance(in case somebody recognized him. Thankfully he never lost his helmet on a mission against the Resistance, but the fear was still there) or the First Order(in fear of being found and forced to be Snoke’s pet again). Either way, Ben would honestly rather die if he had the option to. Unfortunately, he had the feeling his Grandfather would likely use his ghostly Force abilities to keep him alive. Oh well.

“I’ll be there even if you don’t hear me or see me. You will definitely know if I leave you.” Anakin gave Ben another hug, which Ben returned, feeling shivers up and down his spine despite the warm sun warming up the air and there only being a slight breeze. The two pulled away and Ben suddenly felt the pull of waking up as the scenery and peace began to fade. He looked down to watch the grass begin to fade away into the nothingness.

Anakin stood, smiling sadly at his Grandson,”Oh and- Ben?” The man in question looked up, meeting Grandfather’s eyes again.

“Please keep yourself safe. Trust yourself. Don’t be an idiot… and.. I-… I am so very… impressed by you.” Anakin cringed at that, never really being the best at words, unable to truly show how he felt with words instead of actions. Ben appreciated the sentiment either way.

The former Knight of Ren laughed- a full on laugh, grinning from ear to ear- his Force signature reading humor and love,”Thanks, Gramps.” Ben winked, now disappearing himself, leaving Anakin to disappear a mere few seconds after, a genuine smile on his face.

Ben groaned, feeling the aches and pains he had grown used to in the past few years, getting up from the Gunner’s seat and stretching every muscle he could, hearing the satisfying pops and cracks from a few of his joints and feeling more refreshed than before.

The man licked his lips, throat and mouth suddenly going very dry when he remembered everything, the memories coming back to him. He scrambled up the ladder, quickly grabbing a bottle of water from the Millenium Falcon Smuggling Compartments™️ and booked it into the cockpit, sliding in and falling ass-first into the floor.

“ACK-!” Ben then scrambled to get up, ignoring the new pain in his ass(literally) and sat down in the Pilot’s seat, glaring at Artoo once he saw that they were ten minutes from the Hyperspace exit.

“Artoo. I want you to answer me honestly. ” The Droid in question whirred and chirped.

“Where the fuck are you taking us.” Ben already knew the answer thanks to “Mysterious Force Bullshit™️”(as his dad put it), but he wanted to hear the little demon droid say it himself.

With a few clicks, beeps, and swears from the droid, Ben raised an eyebrow and Artoo finally complied.

“ GOING HOME… D’QAR WAS CLOSE AND YOU NEED PROTECTION. MAP GIVE TO THEM. ” Ben would’ve strangled the little shit if he a) had a neck, b) wasn't made of metal, and c) could be strangled.

“Artoo you are a fucking menace and I will remember this the next time you wanna go to a Droid Spa.” Ben said ominously, listening to Artoo’s beeps and whistles of outrage- then sadness.

It wasn’t like he could turn the Falcon around while they were in fucking Hyperspace. Ben glared at the dashboard as it read “low on fuel”. This would mean they have to land on the Resistance planet in order to get more otherwise they wouldn’t make it and they’d float in dead-space. Ben knew he had forgotten something when he had finished their last mission. Dammit.

Yep. It’s official. Ben was about to commit a droid murder. And he wasn’t even going to feel bad about it. And the worst part about this?

Anakin was fucking laughing .

• ••

Ben scowled deeply, feeling one of his eyes twitching violently as Artoo pulled them into the planet’s atmosphere, whirring and beeping excitedly, going on and on about how he was excited to see Han, Leia, Chewie, and Threepio again. The man said nothing, keeping his feet on the dashboard and letting his copilot bring them down into the ground after requesting an emergency landing.

The ravenette sank even further into the seat, feeling his hackles rise and scowl become darker when the droid cried out in triumph and immediately let down the ramp, grabbing Ben by the sleeve with his weird-little-metal-arm-thingy, and practically dragged him to the Falcon’s exit.

‘I’m going to fucking end you, Astromech. I’m going to end you.’ Ben snarled into his thoughts, genuinely hating this and feeling nervous shivers flutter up and down his spine, feeling a rock drop in his stomach.

Artoo whirred happily beside him and even Anakin seemed to be enjoying himself, his presence being nearby Ben at all times, effectively calming him down- even if just a little. It was nice knowing someone had your back. It was less comforting when you realized the person who had your back was Kriffing dead.

Ah C’mon! Can’t be that bad, right? Grandpa’s voice echoed in the young man’s head. Ben could still feel his eye twitching, the nerves making his hands feel cold and making him stand still even as both Anakin and Artoo nudged him to go forward.

After a few seconds of prompting, the former Knight of Ren allowed the Astromech to pull him along the dirt path, walking through rows upon rows of X-Wings and Y-Wings he hadn't seen in a while(some were older models, others were a little bit newer). Ben is silent the entire walk, feeling as though all eyes were on him even though it was unlikely anybody cared, unless they saw him exiting the Falcon, but even then it’s been quite a few years since he’s been to any particular Resistance bases. Ben felt as though this was where all the Generals usually came to- he vaguely remembers when he overheard a conversation between his mom and someone else he couldn’t remember the name of. He had never actually been to this planet and he had never actually gotten the name, thankfully. His dad had in fact, been left on a Resistance base when he sto - BORROWED - the Falcon, but it certainly wasn’t this one. 

The duo(trio? Did Grandfather count? ) made their way to the end of the dirt road, Artoo already knowing where everything was. There was a shit-ton of electrical equipment located on a small, metallic platform with rises and cables running away from it and from under the tent-like covering, just outside some type of cave with rather heavy-looking doors. The droid took him past the consoles and computers, bringing him through the heavy doors and into a well-lit stone hallway with Resistance fighters running about from room to room, many doors lining the hall.

‘Fuck shit.. fuck-! I haven’t even put any thought into what I’m gonna say! What- what if they find out-?! FUCK I DON’T THINK I CAN LIVE WITH THAT- I-I WAS ALREADY REJECTED ONCE BY THEM-! I can’t- I can’t..’ Ben’s anxiety picked up and his thoughts were running faster than he could comprehend, leaving him with mental whiplash. His hands felt clammy and his legs felt like lead- it felt like he was walking to his death, about to be executed. Subconsciously, his hands began to clench and unclench, his force signature erratic and irritated, sharp and violent much like a Krayt Dragon. 

He felt guilt he hadn’t felt in years suddenly rise from the blue, pulling at him, dragging him. Ben may be able to stop blaster bolts with the flat of his palm, or swing an incredibly dangerous plasma sword and hold his own against a Knight of Ren, hell Ben could even shoot a blaster without looking at the enemy for Force’s sake-, but he definitely couldn’t handle the emotions bubbling up as he and Artoo made their way to a lift, bringing them up several stories before stopping at what Ben presumed to be the top. 

His hands were sweating underneath the bandages wrapped around them. He clenched and unclenched his fists a few more times, feeling the clamminess underneath the dirty boxing tape. Ben’s stomach felt like it was doing flips and all his hairs stood on end, a cold feeling keeping him rooted to the spot. Ben had never felt more uncomfortable in his life - especially since he was light headed from breathing so shallowly and quickly. Somewhere in the back of his mind, that sounded suspiciously like Anakin , someone told him to calm down, to take a breath and to just relax for a moment. The lift eventually came to a stop, leaving the pit in Ben’s stomach even heavier.

The room was rather plain, really. Not much in terms of eye-candy, but that wasn’t necessary since it was a base, not a home(for the most part). The orange, striped rock walls added some color to the rather bright off-white and boring room. The floor was tiled with white and all the consoles and computers were also white, everything having some kind of data on it as well as a Resistance officer with a headset on, talking to someone and giving out orders whilst also taking notes and reading charts. It was by no means a small place, hell, it was a rather open and cavernous area, even having a mini-second floor with its own ladder leading up there where they likely held debriefs for all the Generals and Captains or whatever. It was impressive and Ben quietly wondered to himself how they found this thing and how long it took to add in the platforms and ladders.

Artoo chirped and whistled, rocking back and forth in joy as he tried to get the attention of anyone in the room other than Ben. Ben on the other hand, let go of Artoo’s metal-claw, instead opting to cross his arms over his chest and sort of awkwardly stand there, honestly surprised nobody noticed him yet. Especially his mom since he could feel her ever-bright presence in the Force nearby which likely meant she could feel his. It made him feel heavier in the ends of his limbs. He felt cold, knowing what he had done to the people she led- the people she still leads.  

All too suddenly, his mother’s signature seemed to recognize him and brightened in unfiltered joy, swiftly moving closer to him. All Ben could do was sit there and try not to draw attention to himself as Artoo rolled away, leaving the man to feel stunned by his mother’s genuine and raw happiness at feeling her son in the Force again and annoyance that the little bitch-droid left him in search of someone else- likely Threepio, if he had to take a guess.

See? I told you, Benny Boy! Anakin chuckled, a grin plastered on his ghostly face. She loves you so much, Ben. He said a bit more seriously, then going silent as he watched his daughter approach Ben for the first time in years.

The gray-haired woman rounded the corner and left the corridor she had been standing in just a couple seconds ago as quickly as her old body could take her. The Force seemed to buzz around her and at first, she didn’t know or understand why… but then, a Force signature just slightly less as bright as Luke’s appeared. The only other person in the Galaxy that had a Force presence like that was her baby boy. Her precious son. Her only son. She felt tears spring into her dark eyes as she laid eyes on the dark-haired man before her that couldn’t be mistaken for anybody else, except her wonderful son. The last time she had seen him was before her brother had taken Ben to the temple. Even when he stole the Falcon from Han, she never saw him. And he had grown significantly. She was very happy to see him- if not also extremely pissed because he had dropped off the face of the Galaxy not once , but twice. Without a word to anybody about either time.

Ben stood in shock, his shoulders tensing in anticipation when he watched his mother practically run to him and wrapped her arms around his lithe frame. 

“Ooumphhfff—!” Ben’s head was pulled into Leia’s shoulder, the woman pressing kisses into his cheek as she continued to hug him.

“Thank the Force…” he could hear her whisper in relief, sniffling a little as they pulled away, Ben not even having the chance to hug her back with how sudden everything was.

“Ben… my son.” She smiled at him and something in Ben snapped, something broke and he felt his throat close, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from falling.

Leia’s tears fell freely as she pulled her son back into her iron grip. He was alive. She never doubted that- he was Han’s son as well after all; Scrappy and quick-witted ran in their family. Plus she could always feel him within the Force, no matter how far away he was, but she could never get a pinpoint on his signature. Her baby was a survivor. He was a warrior. Always had been.

Ben felt warmth, closing his eyes as he pressed his face into his mother’s shoulder, feeling the warmth of both her signature and her body. Her Force signature was familiar, it was calming- always has been for him. It was wonderful to be near her again, the once sharp edges and dangerous blades of his Force signature were now calm and wavy like a running stream.

And then suddenly that warmth was replaced with cold and Ben remembered where he was, his shoulders tensing as Leia pulled away to look at her son.

“Are you alright, Ben?” Her kind eyes met his dark ones and for a brief, fleeting moment, he was a kid again. 

For a few seconds, he was young, staring up at his mother for what he thought was the last time before he went off to his uncle’s Jedi-school-thing. He would be the first student and the only one for a few days before the rest arrived. 

For a few seconds, he was young, watching as his mother put a Bacta patch on his scrape. He had been running and tripped, catching himself on a curb. Blood had poured from the wound and although it didn’t hurt as much as it should’ve, his mom was there and that made it hurt much less.

For a few seconds, he was young.

For a few, burning, distant, fleeting seconds… he was young.

Ben swallowed thickly, guilt bubbling deep within his gut as he tried his damndest to make sure it didn’t leak into his Force signature.

“I…I-I—“ Ben started, but was rudely interrupted.

“GENERAL ORGANA! GENERAL!” A man screamed from down a hallway as he ran towards said General.

Leia huffed, immediately wiping away her tears, expression hardening as she turned to the worker,”What is it?”

The worker huffed out a few breaths before responding,”I-I think we may have the final part of the Luke Skywalker map.”

Ah yes. The Luke Skywalker map. A strange, holographic map that- according to “legend” and “outside sources”- was supposedly a cryptic message Skywalker's family in case he was ever needed. Ben blinked as the information sank in. 

Leia’s eyes widened,”What?!”

Ben paled.