Chapter Text
fWhip stared up blankly at the… he didn’t know how many candles above the Vigil. Tens of thousands at least, but counting each and every individual candle was a pointless endeavour. They towered above him densely, casting him in shade from the scorching desert sun. He wished they didn’t. He didn’t deserve the protection the deaths of so many provided him, he wanted to be in the unrelenting heat, it was what he deserved.
Tens of thousands of red candles, his people, floating right in front him. He had to crane his neck upward to see them all.
He tried not to look at the many thousands of other different coloured candles in his periphery. Blue candles from House Blossom, Orange candles from Gilded Helenthia, purple candles, magenta candles, green candles –
fWhip spun from the Vigil and paced away with his eyes clenched shut.
“fWhip…” He hears a voice call out.
“I don’t want to hear it, Gem!” He snaps back to his sister, before quickly sighing and deflating, slumping his shoulders. “Sorry.”
“fWhip, you never knew this would happen, you can’t blame yourself for this.” Gem said with a sad smile. She walked up to fWhip and moved to place her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, but fWhip pushed her hand away before she could. Gem’s smile faltered.
“Gem, I know you mean well, but just… don’t. Please.” fWhip said, sighing again and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Sure, I never meant for this to happen, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is my fault.” He then slowly made his way over to one of the many benches that encircled the Vigil and sat down. He put his head to his hands, but quickly split his fingers apart to look at the Vigil regardless. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t keep his eyes away.
He heard and felt Gem sit down next to him, but she remained silent. fWhip didn’t know what she was thinking of, but he had a few ideas. Through the gaps in his fingers, he could also see Katherine and Pixl looking at him, both having barely said a word since they arrived. If fWhip looked closely he could have sworn that he saw wet trails running down Katherine’s cheeks, but before he could really tell for sure she turned back to face the Vigil, looking back at the thousands of blue candles representing her dead people.
The fire that engulfed her kingdom was vicious.
Soon after Pixl did the same, though he had just a handful of his own cream candles to look at. Pixl then slowly walked around the Vigil, looking at all the different colours of all the other empires. The only empires with few candles on the Vigil were Pixandria’s own and Mythland – despite the thousands of blood sheep they saw when they tried to find Sausage to no avail. The Undergrove had no candles to see, as they had no people to lose beyond Shrub herself.
Where are you?
So many of his fellow rulers – his friends – were still unaccounted for. He hoped they were okay. Pixl sent a message for all rulers to meet at the Vigil, but so far only he, Gem, and Katherine had shown up, and they’d been here for close to an hour. They’d barely said a word to each other since they’d arrived, the sight of the Vigil stunning them into silence.
Eyes turning back to the Vigil again, he looked at the candles that stood out from the rest. An orange one, a green one, and two cyan ones. They were bigger and more intricate, their flames burned more brightly, and other candles of their respective colours seemed to almost… huddle around them.
fWhip had a morbid idea as to who they represented, and he almost asked Pixl, but he kept silent. He wanted to cling onto some hope that he was wrong, even though he was sure he wasn’t. Maybe if nobody told him he could find a way to fool himself into believing a comforting lie.
The thought only made him close his eyes in shame.
It was all his fault. If he did any testing at all beforehand, this never would have happened. If he sat and actually did the calculations instead of going straight into it, this never would have happened. If he just wasn’t such an Exor-damned idiot… this never would have happened. And now the blood of so many was on his hands, and there was nothing he could do to make up for it.
Even Xornoth didn’t kill so many people. fWhip snorted at the thought, garnering the attention of his sister next to him, before she went back to looking at the Vigil after a few moments.
fWhip had killed more people in a day than Xornoth had in all the months they were here, and he’d done it by accident. The thought made him feel… empty. He just felt numb to the whole situation, such a large number of deaths felt almost meaningless. Incomprehensible. He was sure given enough time all of his emotions would settle into their proper place as his brain took the time to process it. But until that moment occurred, and the penny dropped, there was only numbness.
fWhip raised his head like a meerkat as he heard a familiar voice approach. Turning to face the sound he saw Joel and… Lizzie? fWhip had to blink a few times to check that his eyes weren’t deceiving him.
Lizzie was human again.
She wasn’t the ten-foot-tall blue fish-goddess he had become accustomed to seeing, towering over everyone. She was now the woman he had first met all those years ago, pale skinned and shorter than her husband. Lizzie had told him that she finally felt like herself after growing into her true form, and that it was a truly liberating feeling for her. Why would she ever go back to being a human? fWhip didn’t even realise that she could.
“This is the Vigil.” fWhip heard Joel say to his wife as they walked forward, looking down to her while gesturing with his hand. “It shows how many people in every empire have…” Joel looked up, and finally took note of what the Vigil looked like. He came to a halt, eyes locked, unblinking, at all the candles that towered over everyone. His jaw had slowly dropped dumbly, mind not able to keep even the slightest amount of focus needed to close it.
“Joel, is everything alright?” Lizzie asked naively.
fWhip was stunned at Lizzie’s question. Lizzie knew what the Vigil was, what each candle represented, how could she say that?
“Joel?” Lizzie repeated.
“Umm… uhh…” Joel started, eyes darting around nervously. Quickly, his eyes made contact with fWhip’s, and soon after the rest of the rulers present. “Tell you what, let me introduce you to everyone.” Joel hurriedly made his way forward, a forced smile clear on his face. Behind him Lizzie followed, seemingly confused.
“This is Count Fail Whip,” Joel said, gesturing toward him, “or just fWhip for short. Nobody calls him Fail Whip –” Joel gave a forced laugh “– even in his official correspondence he calls himself fWhip and asks everyone else to call him that too. He’s the ruler of the Grimlands, which –” Joel threw a glance to the tens of thousands of red candles floating above the Vigil “– anyway.”
Lizzie gave fWhip a small smile and wave, as well as a gentle ‘hello’, which fWhip reciprocated, confused. Why was Joel introducing Lizzie to him when they had known each other for years? He’d last seen the Ocean Queen just a few weeks ago when he’d approved of her road to Pixandria, she knew very well who he was.
Joel then rushedly gestured with an open hand to his sister next to her. “This is Head Wizard GeminiTay – Gem, for short – ruler of the Crystal Cliffs. She’s a wizard, as you can probably tell from her title.” Joel continued, not taking more than a moment to breathe. “She and fWhip are actually siblings. I know it’s a bit strange that direct family rule over two separate and independent kingdoms without marriage being involved, but that is some weird history I can explain later.”
fWhip quickly spared a look to his sister and saw that she was just as confused about this whole situation as he was. The bizarreness piqued fWhip’s curiosity, and he had to find out what was going on.
“Joel, what’s going on?” fWhip asked, standing up to see the married couple eye to eye. “Lizzie, why are you a human again? And Joel, Lizzie knows who we all are, why are you introducing her to us?”
Joel sighed, “Well, you see…” Joel started before he turned toward Lizzie and whispered something into her ear. Lizzie looked at the other rulers in front of her with a degree of nervousness, which fWhip found strange. Lizzie was always confident, never afraid to speak her mind. When she was in her true form she was strong enough to bat them all around like dolls. Now she seemed quite small and meek.
“You tell them.” fWhip just about managed to hear Lizzie say, and Joel gave a quick affirmation in response. Joel then turned back to face everyone wating for the answer to the question they all had.
Joel took a deep breath. “Lizzie’s got amnesia.” He stated.
“Amnesia?” Pixl said, surprised.
“Yeah,” Joel replied, taking another small but forced breath. “She’s lost her memories of everyone and everything, and she’s back in her human form.”
Lizzie looked down at the ground, ashamed.
“I’m pretty sure it’s similar to what happened centuries ago, when Lizzie lost her memories the first time.” Joel elaborated.
“That’s… do you think we can get her memories back?” Gem asked, wanting to help as she often does.
Joel rubbed the back of his head and looked down at the ground. “I don’t know.” He eventually said, “But me, Lizzie, and Jimmy tried for months before, and we got nowhere. I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”
Gem then turned to face Lizzie and smiled. “Well, Lizzie, if you ever need help with anything you can ask me.”
“Thank you.” Lizzie replied with a smile of her own, before breaking eye contact with Gem and glancing to the ground. The group then fell into an uncomfortable silence, nobody entirely sure what to say after such a bombshell was dropped, and deciding it was better to say nothing at all.
Eventually, Joel decided that the silence had lasted for long enough, and reintroduced Pixl and Katherine to Lizzie as well, both of whom responded disarmingly to help put Lizzie at ease.
fWhip could clearly see that Lizzie was keeping close to Joel, not leaving his side. She didn’t want to be here he could tell, surrounded by people who knew her and who she used to know, but were now complete strangers. And with the way Joel kept looking at his wife – lots of smiles and keeping a far closer eye on her than he ever did before – it was clear Joel knew this too. But given the gravity of the events that had happened yesterday, a call to the Vigil wasn’t something Joel could ignore, and Lizzie by extension.
A few moments of silence followed the completion of introductions before Lizzie then leaned up to Joel and whispered something in his ear. Joel had turned to Lizzie to hear her better, before his eyes then raised up to the Vigil, and soon Lizzie’s eyes did the same.
“The Vigil…” Joel started, unsurely. His eyes rapidly flickered around, looking at the Vigil, Lizzie, and the other rulers present. “Pixl, do you want to – actually no, never mind, I should explain it.” Joel quickly flashed a pained look on his face. “The Vigil shows how many people have… died, from each empire.”
“Wait,” Lizzie interrupted, “So each candle…” she trailed.
“… Each candle represents a person who died recently, yes.” Joel finished.
Lizzie looked at the Vigil, stunned, now finally understanding why Joel was so hesitant to talk about it. Her eyes glanced over all the candles towering above them, before she started walking forward, almost in a trance. As she approached the Vigil she slowed down, before standing right in front of it, the lowest candles just an arm’s length above her.
She then slowly reached a hand upward, before hesitating and pulling it back. She turned her head around to face Joel, and asked nervously, “Joel, am I allowed to touch it?”
Joel looked up at the candles floating above the Vigil, before gradually looking back down toward Lizzie. “I’m not sure.” He responded, then looking to his left at Pixl. “Pixl, is she allowed to touch the candles?” Lizzie did the same.
Pixl turned to Joel as he called his name, before then looking at Lizzie standing at the base of the monument. “Yes, you can.” He answered simply, walking forward to stand next to Lizzie. “The candles are just representations of souls that have been lost.”
Pixl then stood next to Lizzie, looking up at the Vigil. He reached a hand up, and through a method fWhip didn’t know a solitary red candle gracefully floated down into his grasp. He spun it around, looking at it from all angles. The flame on top kept burning, seemingly unaffected by the movement beneath it. He then held the candle out for Lizzie to hold, who after a moment gingerly accepted. She then carefully looked over the candle herself, while shooting the occasional glance up at the other candles above her. She then moved her other hand over the candle, and slowly lowered it until her hand was being licked by the flame.
“The fire isn’t hot.” She stated in confusion.
“It’s not real fire.” Pixl explained, “It’s not real wax either, it’s all magic created by the vigil. You’ll notice it also doesn’t weigh anything.” Pixl raised his hand again, and another candle floated down into his grasp. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It senses when a soul has been lost from one of our empires and creates a candle that lasts for a few days. But there isn’t a part of the soul in the candle itself, or anything like that.”
“Huh. What do all the different colours mean?” Lizzie asked curiously, as she looked around at the other coloured candles beyond the red ones that dominated the Vigil.
“The different colours represent deaths from all of the different empires.” Pixl said, letting go of the candle he was holding. It hovered in the air unmoving for a few seconds, before it then slowly floated back up to where it was before. “Red candles are for the Grimlands, fWhip’s empire. The purple candles over there are for the Crystal Cliffs, Gem’s empire.”
Pixl then went around the Vigil with Lizzie, still holding the red candle in her hand. He explained who’s empire each colour represented, as well as more facts about how the Vigil worked, and Lizzie listened with rapt attention trying to take it all in. fWhip, and the rest of the rulers present, slowly followed them around at a distance, listening to the detailed explanation being given. fWhip remembered the similar presentation given to him by Pixl many years ago, before he even rose to become ruler of the Grimlands, but many of the details had been forgotten.
Eventually Pixl and Lizzie made it around to the light blue candles floating in the air, and Pixl fell silent. fWhip glanced behind him and saw the rest of the rulers stood anxiously in a nervous quiet as well. Joel could be seen tapping his feet in apprehension and looking like he wanted to take a step forward before hesitating.
“Which empire do these light blue candles represent?” Lizzie prompted out of curiosity, turning to face Pixl after a few seconds of quiet.
Joel took that as the as the cue to hurriedly come forward, wanting to be next to his wife before Pixl could tell her the truth. Pixl heard him, and turned around to see Joel coming their way, before he then took a step to the side to allow Joel past him. Lizzie looked unsure as to why this was happening now all of a sudden, and grew more nervous when Joel stood next to her.
“Do you want to tell her, Joel?” Pixl asked.
“Tell me what?” Lizzie questioned, tightening the grip on her red candle just a little. “What’s wrong with these candles?”
Joel said nothing for a few moments, looking at all of the thousands of light blue candles hovering in the air. For something completely harmless, they were very intimidating. He then looked to his side at Pixl, who was waiting patiently for an answer. He then glanced to Lizzie, who was much more worried about the events transpiring, before finally looking back to the Vigil.
“… These candles represent the dead of… the Ocean Empire –“ Joel turned to face Lizzie, his voice quietening “– your empire.”
…
“Oh.” Lizzie eventually responded, unsure of what to say. She then eyed the candles warily before taking a step forward and reaching an arm up and plucking a low hanging candle out of the air. She brought it down and looked at it closely, spinning it in her hand. She then brushed her thumb over its surface, feeling it intently, before letting out a deep sigh.
Everyone else present stood completely mute, not wanting to disturb her.
Lizzie then brought fWhip’s candle she was holding in her other hand up next to her own, and compared them side by side. She twisted both her wrists, looking all around both of the candles. Her brow furrowed.
“Other than the colour, they’re identical.” Pixl explained softly, putting his hands into his robe’s pockets. “In death, no empire’s citizens spirits are any more important than any other.”
Lizzie then looked up at the Vigil again, head slowly swivelling from one side to the other taking all the colours in. She then raised her own candle back up, nestling it amongst the light blue candles that represented those that she lost, and tentatively let go. The candle floated in place, unmoving, where it should be. She then slowly made her way around the Vigil, back to where she started, keeping her eyes up looking at the different colours above her. She stopped in front of the multitude of red candles, and lifted the one in her hand up, putting it back in its place amongst so many others.
She then took a few steps over to the orange candles floating in the air, next to the red ones of the Grimlands. However, she kept her eyes locked to one candle in particular. It was much larger than all the candles that surrounded it, with smooth ridges swirling around it beautifully, creating a flowing pattern that made its way all the way around the candle. It stood in stark contrast the plain cylinders that it was amongst.
Lizzie reached up to hold it, but it was just out of her grasp, her fingertips just barely below it. After a few seconds she pulled her arm back down, and stared at it once more. Eventually, her eyes silently wandered to the other candles of similar design that were around the Vigil. A green one huddled amongst hundreds of others, and a pair of cyan ones. Though one of the cyan ones seemed to almost repel the candles near it, while the other pulled them in closer.
“Pixl, why are some of the candles different?” Lizzie asked innocently, turning to face Pixl.
fWhip tensed his muscles. Lizzie asked the question he couldn’t bring himself to do, and given the pained look on Pixl’s face as he closed his eyes, it only confirmed his suspicions. A quick glance at Gem, Joel, and Katherine made him realise that they all had the same thought, none of them willing to look at the Vigil anymore, either at the floor or surrounding buildings.
Eventually, Pixl walked around the Vigil and wordlessly stood next to Lizzie, looking at the orange candle she had tried to hold. He remained silent, the atmosphere growing tense. Lizzie shrunk down slightly at the sudden change. Pixl gradually raised his right hand up to just above his head, and soon after the beautiful orange candle began to float down.
As the candle came down Pixl lowered his hand accordingly, until the candle was hovering at his shoulder line, his hand down by his stomach. He then brought it around him, putting himself between the candle and the Vigil, making it easier for everyone to see. He looked at everyone around him, all of whom were waiting for what he had to say, not that any of them wanted to hear it.
Pixl took a single breath.
“These bigger candles represent the deaths of people with a much deeper connection to the world.” Silence fell for a brief instant. “Usually… that means an empire’s ruler.”
fWhip’s breath hitched, and he could hear Katherine gasp beside him, hands flying up to cover her mouth. Gem stood rigid, her lips pressed into a line, with not a hint of emotion on her face. Joel was much the same, but with his eyes directed to the ground. Pixl was more composed, but a solemn look had come across his face.
fWhip had known the moment he saw those candles what had happened, but to hear it from Pixl himself made it all too real. He tried to take solace in the fact that there was no black candle, meaning Sausage was still alive, no green candle, meaning Jimmy was still alive, and no yellow candle, meaning Shrub was still alive, but it didn’t work. His stomach only twisted more and more, until it felt like he was going to throw up.
And he was the one that caused it all.
“Does that mean…” Katherine started, before trailing off.
Pixl gave a grim nod. “Yes. This is Pearl’s candle.” He then moved his right hand to face the Vigil, and the other large candles soon came floating around the Vigil to him. “Joey.” Pixl stated simply as the lime candle slowed to a stop in front of him, where it then stood next to Pearl’s. The two cyan candles then made slowed to a halt, with one of the candles being placed next to the others, and the other candle kept separate. “Scott and… Xornoth.”
Everyone’s eyes slowly fell to the ground, as they stood in silence. The pressing heat of the desert sun feels stronger, and the air falls still, there being not so much as a breeze.
Soon, fWhip hears a sob, and can see Katherine trying to wipe tears off her face. Before he can take a step, Gem pulls her into a hug. Katherine hugs her back tightly, and buries her face into Gem’s shoulder. Gem closes her eyes, but fWhip can spot a tear flowing down her cheek. Everyone then averts their eyes from the pair, wanting to give them the privacy the deserve.
For close to an hour nobody says much of anything slowly retiring to the benches that surround the Vigil. From where fWhip sat he could see Katherine and Gem sitting together, with Katherine resting her head on Gem’s shoulder. The tears had stopped, but the pain on both of their faces never left. Gem tried her best to hide it, but fWhip could see through the mask she put on.
Lizzie remained standing, looking at her own candles. She barely took her eyes off them. fWhip was clueless as to what she was feeling right now, having lost so many people of an empire she supposedly doesn’t even remember anymore. If fWhip forgot about the Grimlands, would he feel anything at all seeing those red candles floating in the air? He didn’t know, and he didn’t know if it was better for Lizzie if she felt something or nothing at all.
Pixl stood next to Lizzie, not saying a word. He slowly brought random candles down from the Vigil, held them in his hands for a few moments, before releasing them to go back to where they were supposed to be. He didn’t seem to be picking from any empire in particular, or even looking for anything specific, he just… kept looking at and feeling the candles. fWhip had heard rumours that due to Pixl’s connection to the Vigil he could see and feels the lives of the candles he held. He didn’t know if it was true, but Pixl had gone through well over a hundred candles at this point. With the pained flicker that occasionally crossed his face when he touched a new one, he was starting to believe it.
Joel silently sat down next to fWhip, keeping his eyes on forward on the Vigil and his wife. His back was hunched over, and his arms lay disorganised on his lap. He soon grew a far off and unfocused look in his eye, a thin sheen of tears forming, but none ever fell.
“Do you think Jimmy is okay?” Joel said softly.
fWhip was surprised at this sudden question, and he turned to look at Joel. Joel kept his eyes forward however, not focusing on anything.
“I think so.” fWhip eventually replied, “He was always stronger than we gave him credit for.”
Joel didn’t say anything in response straight away, instead letting out a small sigh, his head dropping to look at the floor. “I hope he’s okay. If he has amnesia like Lizzie… I don’t know. Did you know the Ocean was completely drained from the Ocean Empire? Don’t know how, magic obviously, there was just a wall of water and then the sea floor. Same thing happened to the Cod Empire, me and Lizzie spent close to two hours looking for him before we came here. His own people have been looking since yesterday, and they’re probably still going. We have no idea where he went, or if he’s okay, or anything. I mean I guess we know he’s not dead at least, that was my biggest fear, but still.”
“Joel…” fWhip started, putting a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
Joel kept his eyes pointed at the ground. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”
“No, no, it’s fine. You’re allowed to ramble.” fWhip said, reassuringly. “I mean, at least your wife is safe.”
Joel took a moment to look at fWhip, and his frown only deepened as he did so until he let out a small sigh and turned away again, head dropping lower than it was before. fWhip rubbed his arm nervously as his stomach knotted slightly, he felt as though he said something he shouldn’t have.
Eventually, Joel broke the silence. “When I said Lizzie forgot everyone, I mean she forgot everyone… including me.” Joel spoke, weakly. “Lizzie might still be here, but my wife is… not.” Joel raised his head up to look at Lizzie still standing in front of the Vigil, unaware of the conversation happening behind her. “She only met me yesterday, barely knows anything about me, and I feel like I know nothing about her.”
The pair dropped into an oppressive silence, the heat of the desert sun bearing down on them. fWhip and a bead of sweat run down his face, but Joel seemed to be unbothered by the sun, he just couldn’t seem to bring himself to care.
“I miss my wife.”
fWhip didn’t know what to say, and so he said nothing. When Joel had said Lizzie had forgotten everyone, he didn’t think she would forget Joel too. He looked at Joel sympathetically, realising just how much the man had truly lost, before his eyes dropped to his shoes at realising who had caused his pain.
This is all my fault.
“I’m sorry.” fWhip finally said, unimaginatively.
Joel didn’t give him any acknowledgement. He sat lost in his own world, and fWhip let him be. He didn’t think there was anything he could say to make the situation better.
A couple more hours passed, and everyone had managed to relax slightly, though they never rose their voices too high out of an unspoken respect to the Vigil. They described the situation at their own empires, and any immediate plans to deal with the damage. fWhip disliked the ‘ruler talk’ they had fallen into, and he could see everyone else had as well, but it was a cruel necessity given their positions of authority. The sun started to approach the horizon, and Joel and Lizzie made the decision to head back to Mezalea. Soon after Gem, fWhip, and Katherine prepared for the long flight back to the Crystal Cliffs.
They had hoped that Jimmy, Sausage, and Shrub would turn up and put the thoughts of their safety at ease, but they never did. They were still out there somewhere, alive but unaccounted for. fWhip hoped they were okay, and that they would all meet again soon, but given that three of his fellow rulers had already died, it didn’t stretch his imagination to think it could become four.
Please be okay.