Chapter Text
[chapter one]
-late january-
Luka sighed, his breath coming out in a fog as he locked the door to his studio. It was much later than he was anticipating, but once he got started on an instrument, he found it hard to stop a task mid-way, eager to capture its essence in one take. The cold January air was crisp around him, a stark contrast to his stuffy woodshop, especially after spending the whole day attempting to bend ribs with a new heat technique he was trying out.
“C’mon Sass, let’s head home,” he said quietly, mostly to motivate himself as his kwami was already floating calmly beside him.
As kicked up as things were at the end of Hawkmoth’s defeat, it felt as though everything had entirely re-settled in the following six years, definite moments of high drama still arose, but things were calm, slowly falling into place. Nino, still happily with Alya, was studying abroad in New York, where he knew Zoe was still situated between her travels around the globe. Alya became successful seemingly overnight due to her reports on the Hawkmoth attack and keeping up with the re-branding of the Agreste brand.
With the exception of Marinette, and the annual miraculous-crew gatherings, Luka had more or less found himself separated from the group he helped save the city with, and it honestly didn’t bother him. He still had Sass, along with the ability to transform into Viperion– something he did not do often– and Juleka, who was the only reason he had any idea what was going on with any of them. He still called them friends, despite their time apart– if there was one thing he learned from Adrien, was that friendship was drastically underrated.
A complicated pity story was truthfully what got him, with Marinette’s help, working full time as a luthier. She was the one who introduced him to Emilie, whose interest in string instruments and her connections had Luka’s commissions backed up for months, allowing him to just create at a pace he preferred. He’d never planned on working for the Agreste brand, the branding and commitment to someone else’s vision didn’t appeal to him, but he’d managed to be set aside enough so that it was simple and calm. It was a much needed contrast to the years of Hawkmoth– and the few years after for him– these times of peace were more than enough for Luka.
Approaching his building, his phone vibrated with a notification regarding a reminder to RSVP for an anniversary party. Of course. Marinette and Adrien were coming up on their six year anniversary. Something Luka didn’t want to be aware of, but something everyone was excited for. Thankfully, with Marinette being his ex, he was able to use that as a viable excuse for his disinterest.
But honestly, it wasn’t necessarily the case.
At the very least, he was happy for them. He saw they made each other very happy, and he was in no place to criticize it, except with their union, he ultimately lost two friends, something he did not see coming. Marinette had overscheduled her life, busy from dawn to dusk for the last six years, going to school, designing, managing, sewing, saving the world on occasion while helping Emilie re-launch the infamous Agreste brand. She would, on occasion, when life got slow for a few days, remember his existence and reach out, catching up like no time had passed at all.
Adrien Agreste, on the other hand, was a different story. They were once closer than he’d ever expected, Adrien opening up about his hero identity only weeks after he’d discovered it fighting Wishmaker, the beginnings of the most intense and shortest friendships that stopped the moment Marinette and him revealed their identities to each other. Of course they were both happy; the person they loved the most was the same person who loved them back. Some argued that acceptance was what helped them finally end the fight, but as much as a romantic Luka claimed to be, that was something he couldn’t quite believe.
With the two heroes made for each other, he realized he wasn’t welcomed between them and chose to allow them to be happiest together, shifting to be one of Marinette's closest friends, and really falling to nothing with Adrien. Easiest to be labeled as nothing, their moments through the years had the potential to add up to something, but that would just make Luka hopeful. And things were never simple with him.
With Marinette, the thing he didn’t consider was how much she would talk about Adrien, and the more she would talk, the more he got it. It was fine to relate when it was just her pining, but once they got together, and the weeks became months became years, Luka realized he had to soon admit defeat. Being friends with both of them was more than enough. He loved them both and saw the joy they brought each other, that was all that mattered.
Well, at least for a while.
It wasn’t a secret that Marinette and Adrien were…not doing the best. He heard from both sides of the situation, more so from the former, but it was definitely both of them not doing great. Marinette was finishing school on top of it all, and while she was used to completely over-packing her life, she was used to it as a sprint, and this race was quickly becoming a marathon.
The winter months were beginning to blur together, each night feeling the same, a set schedule that brought comfort, but the repetition was making Luka itchy. He had to change something soon, maybe a break, he hadn’t really gone on one since the end of his apprenticeship, maybe reaching out to the miraculous gang, they always had something new going on, maybe a trip. Nothing was going to change tonight though, he decided again, crawling into his bed as Sass settled on the pillow beside him. He knew he shouldn’t be so eager, in his experience, calms always ensured a storm.
Luka woke to the sound of knocking on his front door, alerting him enough to notice his phone vibrating, screen illuminated, “Fucking hell–” he mumbled, pushing himself up, squinting at the screen that read Incoming Call: Kitty 💌🐾. Catching his attention, he sat up, pressing accept; the blond’s late night, often inebriated calls were beyond enjoyable to witness, “Hey–”
But unlike the times past, he wasn’t met with laughter or an enthusiastic echo, he heard the knocking come through the speaker, accompanied with a very sad sounding voice, “Can you let me in?”
“Oh– that’s you?” he responded, sighing as he stood up, “Yeah, hang on–” he hung up, tossing his phone back on his bed before folding his arms, his hallway much colder than the comfort of his bed, the knocking albeit faint, grew louder as he approached. He opened the door to Adrien, arms folded over his chest with his head hanging low, his kwami floating nearby. “Hey– what’s wrong?”
Not even looking up, he shook his head, “Mari and I–” he mumbled, shaking his head, covering his face, “I’m sorry–”
“Really, don’t worry, Adrien– are you okay?”
“It’s just with Nino out of town, and Chloe doing her thing, I really didn’t know who else to go to, but I know you really don’t want to talk about problems we have– but I trust you and–” he was talking fast, Luka waiting a moment for him to pause, which wasn’t likely coming. He sighed, pulling him into a hug inside his apartment, to close the door behind him, hoping his knocking didn’t wake his nosy neighbors, who would definitely bring it up the next time they ran into each other, “I’m s-sorry– this was a stupid idea, coming over like this–”
“Shhh–” he hushed, placing his hands on his shoulders in hopes to calm him. No, he didn’t want to talk about their relationship. It seemed like every single time he saw Marinette in the past six months she had something to say about Adrien, despite his constant request to discuss literally anything else. The only thing he wanted to hear at this point was they were over . “Come on, kitty, you just need to calm down–”
“We’ve just been fighting so much and she– I don’t even think she likes me anymore–”
Luka sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, hoping maybe this was a dream. If not, life definitely had an odd sense of humor, leading Adrien to seek out comfort in him . “No, stop– you two are fantastic together. This is probably all a big misunderstanding– it’s late and she’s probably tired–”
“No, I thought that the last four times– but we’re over , Luka. I know it–”
Adrien had a flare for the dramatics. And while most of the time Luka was beyond entertained and honestly, quite enchanted by them, 3am and half-awake was not how he wanted to handle them, especially as drunk as he smelled. “You can talk it through with her in the morning–”
“It’s just, all we’ve been doing is fighting about the stupidest things for months – she has this vision of me that’s just– it’s not me , Luka– she’s always had this grand, far off idea of what I am, and it really reminded me of my father and– and– I just told her that and she didn’t like it–” Luka couldn’t blame her on that, to be compared to Gabriel Agreste was the worst kind of insult that could be dealt. But in a way, he understood where Adrien was coming from. All he heard during their relationship was just how amazing the blond boy was, it was only time before her idealization of him had to face reality, and it was genuinely shocking it took nearly six years, “I didn't want it to end up like this, but I said, then she said and I– I want her to be happy but she’s not and I‘m not– and I want to make my own life choices– it’s my life , Luka–”
He nodded sleepily. Luka was used to it at this point. From both ends of the couple, technically Marinette’s friend, he definitely couldn’t deny his growing preference for the other. At least the few times they talked in the past year they didn’t just talk about their relationship. “Hey, let’s get you some water–” he suggested, turning towards the kitchen, noticing Plagg had joined a very sleepy Sass, floating nearby, “Sorry I don’t have much cheese, but you’re welcome to whatever–”
The fact that Plagg was relatively unbothered by Adrien’s emotional state showed that this was, unfortunately, normal for the kwami to deal with, “Always my favorite miraculous holder,” he smiled, disappearing into the fridge to investigate.
“How’d you get let up?” he asked, looking back to the blond, hoping to get his mind off Marinette for a few minutes.
“No one asks a lot of questions if you’re pretty and crying–” he mumbled, watching the glass fill before sighing, thankfully not paying attention as Luka bit back a smile. Getting to interact on such an emotional level with Adrien was nice in a very bittersweet way. It was vulnerability that reminded Luka of a time before, but he hated seeing him so upset. Nearly the last decade he was fawning over her, and she was pining right back, so he really never considered them actually breaking up. “All I wanted was to be happy– she used to make me so happy, Luka, what happened?”
Definitely not wanting to get into it, he shrugged, offering him the cup as he leaned against the counter, “Time passes, people change, I guess.”
Adrien took a sip, shaking his head, “It’s not fair–”
Luka sighed, running his hand through his hair, “It is life, though,” the blond pouted, opening his mouth, “Drink the water, kitty. I know you’re upset, but getting worked up again isn’t going to help anyone,” nodding, he took another sip as they watched his kwami emerge before eating through the remaining bit of cheese, “Glad to see you’re doing okay.”
Plagg shrugged, sitting on the counter next to Sass, who looked as tired as Luka felt, “They’ve been fighting a lot– they’re going to make up in the morning, and pretend it never happened until the next time one of them is upset–” Adrien sniffled, shaking his head at his claim, “Oh come on , kid– you two have been fighting like this long before you two were dating– it’s just a lovers spat–”
“No, it feels different–” he mumbled, focusing on the liquid in the glass. Luka didn’t want to ask any questions, to fuel Adrien’s distress, but he couldn’t deny he was curious, “It’s too much again–”
“Marinette was the one trying to find a solution, kid– you were the one not wanting to hear her out–” Plagg started, earning an eye roll from his master, “I’m not saying it’s your fault, but it sure wasn’t hers–”
“I’d hardly call what she proposed a solution –”
Clicking his tongue, Luka stood up, not wanting to hear any of it, “I don’t want to make the couch for you, kitty, so come on, let’s go to bed–” he yawned, holding out his hand as though there was even a chance he would take it. He got a grumbled response, making him smile as the other followed behind him, “You got somewhere to be tomorrow? Hopefully not too early–”
“No– a meeting at noon, but I should to talk to Mari before then–”
“Yeah, yeah, of course–” he mumbled, turning off the hallway light, “But you’re going to sleep first.” It had been a while since Luka shared his bed with anyone, so it was odd, but very comforting, watching him climb onto the far end before laying down. Moving his phone back to his side table, Luka joined him, keeping a few feet between as he watched in the near darkness, his chest heaving as he attempted to muffle his sobs. Luka reached forward, gently placing his hand on his back, Adrien exhaling shakily as a response, pulling the blanket closer. “You’re going to be okay, Adrien.”
Not expecting acknowledgement, the blond turned his head to look back at him, the moon’s faint light doing his tear-soaked face no favors. He couldn’t help but smile softly as Adrien shook his head, turning back away. Even if Luka had to do it himself, he was going to make sure his statement held true. It was really the least he could do.
—
Adrien woke to the sun streaming in on his face, the smell of coffee pulling him from his dazed state. It took him a moment to remember where he was, the collection of guitars around him giving him an easy answer as he pushed himself to sit up, rubbing his face. He looked to his side to see his reflection in a full length mirror, looking nearly as terrible as he felt. God , there was no way that last night was real.
He’d been to Luka’s apartment a few times in the past year, hanging out on occasion, but mostly because of Marinette– god , the two were such good friends, how could he forget. Him and Luka were friends through it all, but they definitely fell apart over the last few years, not because of something that happened, just a collection of things that didn’t.
Luka was just always so nice to him– to listen and comfort and joke his way through tough moments, even when the moments would work against him. There was good reason behind Adrien choosing him to reveal his identity first, he almost wished they could go back to that time. More chaotic, but simpler, less busy. He was arguably Adrien’s closest friend with Nino, Chloe, and Kagami all gone. It was a point he didn’t consider he’d ever reach, but it seemed like everyone was eager to see the rest of the world now that things had formally calmed down.
Adrien sighed, rolling to push himself off the bed. It was obvious Luka was single and planning to be for a while, as Chloe once pointed out, based on the position of his bed, shoved into the corner. He had no right to judge anything in Luka’s life with what an absolute clusterfuck his was turning out to be. His head was pounding, and as much as he wanted to curl back into bed, which smelled oh so comforting, he knew he had to get up and deal with the consequences of his actions, beginning with apologizing to Luka, who did not need to be dragged into this.
“Hey, good morning–” Luka smiled, leaning against the counter near the stove, waving with his hand not holding his still steaming mug, “Seemed like you were sleeping well.”
Luka’s apartment was simple in the most fitting way. A majority of the space was his living space, a cluster of mismatched furniture, surrounded by plants, music memorabilia, and instruments in various stages of being done, giving the place a very lived-in look, something he loved from the Liberty. The kitchen was small, connected to the main room by an open peninsula, a pair of stools pulled up for seating. He clearly had no need for a formal table, spending most of his time alone. The wall of windows led to a small balcony outside, Adrien vaguely remembering it when he and Marinette– god damn it– helped him move in the previous year.
Even Luka himself looked more together; his half sleeve of flowers transitioned to a snake, twisting down his forearm, its head just sneaking onto his hand. He knew Luka had a reasonably physical job, working in the shop, but he must’ve really had his life together, actually working out on top of it all, his arms toned. Even seeing his apartment, he seemed so put together and content with his life; he knew Luka was doing exactly what he loved, and that was already more than what Adrien had going for him.
“Ugh…” Adrien groaned, sitting at one of the stools, “I’m so sorry for just– dumping it all on you in the middle of the night–”
He nodded, setting his own cup down to grab another from the cabinet, “You’re really fine– honestly quite flattered that I was your first choice to come to in such a heated moment–” Luka was definitely teasing, offering a lighter approach to the conversation, something Adrien almost could appreciate, “Do you want to talk about it? A little processing now that you’ve got sleep?”
He sighed, resting his chin in his hand, trying hard to recall the night before, but not necessarily wanting to remember, “It’s been building up for months– I feel like we keep coming back to the same things– she has passion and purpose and I don’t even know what’s the point of getting up in the morning,” he shrugged, earning a concerned eyebrow raise from the other, “She’s just always so busy with school, and the brand, and being her – she does it all , Luka–”
“I’d argue Marinette’s always been doing it all, what’s different now?”
It felt as though Luka was actually trying to widdle away to their exact problem, and honestly, if there was anyone, it would be him, “I want to do things– I want to try things and mess up– everything I have, and everything I do is because of her, and it feels like I’ve never made a decision for myself in my entire life– even like– fate brought us together, and it just feels like that’s all we have .”
He nodded slowly, “That’s fair– how did that lead to such a blown-up fight?”
“Well, this time specifically, I told her the way she had expectations of me remind me of my father–”
Luka sighed, shaking his head, “Oh, that’s really not good, Adrien–”
“I didn’t mean it! I really– it’s not what I meant– I was upset because she was upset, and then she started talking her wild ideas, you know how she is–” Luka barely nodded, watching him as he ran his hands through his hair, “I want her to be happy –”
“Are you, though?”
“I– that– well, I’m happy when she is–” Adrien stared at him before groaning, “It was stupid for me to come here– I know you and her are still good friends, and coming to you wasn’t fair to either of you, but she definitely goes to Alya first– and Nino’s gone–”
“This is far from the first time you’ve reached out to me this past year.” Adrien didn’t respond, watching him set the mug in front of him, “Not surprised if you don’t remember, you’ve been noticeably drunk and just went off about whatever was bothering you– you’ve been doing it for nearly a year now– easily a few times a month–”
“Oh–” This news made him stop for a moment, unsure what to even say, “Sorry– that many times? Really?” Luka smiled, watching him a moment before turning back towards the counter, “I guess remember a few…what did I say? Something embarrassing?”
“No, nothing I don’t think you’d say sober. Most of the time you’d go on and on about one specific thing. One time you went off about my hair after I cut it– didn’t realize it was such a personal subject for you–” Adrien was thankful he wasn’t annoyed by this recurring event, “Haven’t cut it since, just for you though– honestly disappointed you haven’t noticed–”
Luka’s hair was definitely longer than the last time he’d actually paid attention to it. Similar to the day they met, he still had his tips dyed a light blue, transitioning to his black roots, “It looks good, really–”
He laughed, shaking his head, definitely not what he was looking for when he brought up the idea, “I won’t deny there were definitely a few topics that were…I’d label questionable, for sure, but you were always laughing, so I never thought to be concerned for your whereabouts–”
Something about Luka’s attempt at lighthearted conversation was working for him, a good distraction from trying to work through his emotions and feelings about Marinette– that seemed more like a Nino conversation, anyway. “In my defense–”
“Which you don’t need–”
“–I was likely with Nino– we have this– well, I guess it’s mostly a drinking game, we do play it sober, and just in passing, but we have this game. It’s called ‘ What Are the Odds ’, and I would get challenged to call someone and I lost a lot – what I got for picking such low odds–”
Luka was watching him expectantly, nodding along, “Sure.”
“No, no, it’s fun, I swear– if you like doing really stupid things, that is–” he smiled as Luka leaned against the counter, waiting for him to continue, “I promise it’s more fun drunk–”
“You seem like the type who’d say that about most things in life–” he shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee, “I don’t doubt it’s fun, it just seems like a way to do a bunch of things you don’t really want to do–”
“Well, that’s the fun of it–”
“Feels like a way to avoid what you really should address.”
Amused, Adrien leaned his chin in his hand, “And what’s that?”
“What do you want to do?”
“That’s not the point.”
Luka hesitated before exhaling a laugh, lifting his cup back up to his lips, “Based on your current state, maybe you should focus on that a bit more. What do you want?”
Adrien stared at him. What did he want? “I–” he began, before realizing he didn’t have an answer, closing his mouth again. He wanted for his friends to be happy and healthy, for them to be successful and passionate, but that was a lot of stuff that was out of his hands. Their happiness– Marinette’s happiness, made him happy– this wasn’t as easy of a question as he was making it out to be– happiness was so much more than he could describe– he loved her, that had to be enough.
Accepting he wasn’t going to get an answer, Luka nodded, “You mentioned you have a meeting at noon, and maybe you want to talk to Marinette before then? Do you have time for breakfast?”
Adrien shook his head, beginning to stand up, “No, I don’t want to bother you– you’ve already done so much–”
“I’m making you breakfast,” he said, setting down his mug to turn back to the fridge, “I’ve got some bread from earlier in the week I can toast up–” Adrien watched him a moment before he continued, “I can’t judge what you choose to do, I just want it to be clear and make sure you understand that you do have a choice,” he hesitated, turning back, “Strawberry or blackberry?”
“Strawberry is fine–” he mumbled, looking down at his cup, tapping his fingers slowly. He tried to have the conversation with Marinette, which resulted in the big fight– he definitely didn’t say the right words to make the point he was trying for, but she was just at fault for jumping to conclusions. He still loved her– at least, he thought he did– some time apart would’ve been best for both of them.
Setting the plate in front of him, Luka’s hands were suddenly cupping his face, holding him close, the right balance of assertion and care, “All you’ve ever done is work towards other people’s happiness, which is something you deserve as much, if not more than everyone else at this point.”
“It’s not that–”
He shook his head, not wanting to hear it, “I’m telling you what I needed to hear when I was in this spot– you deserve nothing short of joy and happiness, and someone out there is perfect for you. Someone won’t make you doubt their love for even a second. Someone who is willing to listen to you and allow your dreams to thrive,” he paused, his eyes flickering down for the briefest of moments, “You don’t need people to create your joy and determine it. You should be allowed to grow and change with no hesitation and fear of people’s responses and reactions because they should support what you want. You need to consider what you want, Adrien, and choose that.”
Unsure how to respond to such a statement, he just barely nodded, confirmation he understood, or at least heard what was said. But Luka’s eyes were so blue. Adrien was worried he’d continued talking as he got distracted, almost relieved when the other dropped his face to smile softly, reassuring he was done. “Oh– thanks–”
“Really, don’t worry about it–” Luka shook his head, picking up his mug before turning back down the hall, “I’ve gotta head out soon to get back to the studio, and you’ve got somethings of your own to deal with–”
He nodded slowly, looking down at the plate in front of him, trying to process all of his words, most already having escaped his pounding head, “Hey, uh–” he said, getting Luka to stop, looking back at him, “Do you have a jacket or something I could borrow– I didn’t really grab one when I left, and it’s pretty cold–”
“Yeah, I’ll grab something–” he mumbled, “My place is always open to you. I never got to establish that, and I’d like to blame that on why you’ve rarely visited, but drunk you clearly knew where I lived, so sober you should have no problem.”
He laughed, nodding, “One’s been a bit more full time lately, so you should have higher expectations of him–” Luka half smiled before turning back, leaving him alone to eat.
Outside at 10am was feeling so much better than outside at 3am, the approaching spring feeling less like an illusion, and more like a soft promise. Still thankful for the sweatshirt, he shoved his hands in his pockets, noticing Plagg hanging nearby, definitely wanting to give his two cents, knowing well Adrien didn’t want to hear it.
Adrien knew he had to get home. Home being the house– but he really didn’t want to talk to Marinette yet. He knew how it would go, how it always went ; they would both apologize for hurting the other, and a few days of bliss would settle, no change in their behaviors, inevitably setting off the next huge screaming fight. He was tired of it.
Luka was right. He was able to immediately pinpoint exactly what was bothering Adrien despite his adamant refusals. Luka was always one to observe from a distance before reacting, making him great for the snake miraculous, but sometimes quite annoying when Adrien wasn’t ready to admit what was wrong yet. Good thing he always had Nino.
Choosing a park bench away from the usual foot traffic, he took out his phone, a message from Luka waiting:
don’t hesitate to reach out again
also i do want my sweatshirt back
He exhaled a laugh, scrolling down to Nino’s name to hit call. It rang three times before he heard his friend’s groggy voice answer, the screen still dark, “Hey dude– what’s up–”
“I’m breaking up with Marinette.” Saying it out loud made it so real.
The news must have woken Nino up, reaching over to turn on the light, bringing his face into the frame, leaning in close, “Wait– last week you were so upset about– dude, what happened? Was that the tipping point? You two are really over?” Adrien sighed, his friend’s puzzled face wanting more answers than he was ready to discuss, “Dude it’s like 3am here– did you just decide this–”
“I’ve been considering it for a while, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she hadn’t too– we’re just– not going anywhere. And I’m only twenty-one and there’s just so much to do– to experience and see– we’re just at such different points right now, I don’t know– I need to do something , and I don’t know if I can care anymore–”
“But you’re Ladybug and Chat Noir– you’re literally the lovers of Paris–”
Adrien inhaled sharply, “You’re not making this easier–”
His mouth opened, unsure what to say, “Should I? Or should I like– talk you out of this? Dude– I’m only like– short of eight years with Als and we figured out this whole finding ourselves debacle– do you want help or–”
“You two were always separate people– except when playing that dumb pengiun game and as Oblivio–” Nino rubbed his face, clearly irritated he brought that up, “I’m her model and she works with my mom and we live together, and all of my friends are actually her friends and–” he sighed, trying to calm himself. The more he talked the more right this decision felt, “I don’t know who I am anymore without her– I need to do this, Nino. I don’t want it to get to the point where we hate each other.”
Realizing he was serious in this decision, his friend nodded, as if trying to process it all, “Yeah, I mean– you know your situation best–”
Adrien sighed, looking out over the nearly empty park. Nothing was happening, but he was so overwhelmed, watching the couple pushing a stroller exit through the gate, continuing out of sight, “I just–” he shook his head, voice dropping, “I can’t believe the girl of my dreams really isn’t really the girl of my dreams.”