Chapter Text
Danny wasn’t sure how to feel. He still felt sad. In fact he felt a big, deep kind of sad more times than not. But now that big, deep sad no longer felt as big or deep? Like there were little streams of light niggling their way through the darkness and sadness. Kind of like stars on a moonless night. Not enough to see around him but enough to know that he wasn’t quite as alone as he once had been. Like instead of this emotion feeling like a crushing weight that would absolutely flatten him if he so much as slipped, it felt just a bit lighter. As if some of his burden had been lifted. Not by much but enough to have the hope of being able to hope.
The big, deep sad wasn’t the only thing that had changed. He felt a little more content. Like he was slowly coming to terms with what had happened and how it had happened. That the phrase, ‘it’s ok not to be ok’, was suddenly starting to become more of an active part in his life. The feelings and trauma that he had bottled up and stuffed behind thick walls were starting to leak through. It wasn’t a lot but enough for him to notice it. Jazz usually said that that only happens when you’re in a safe environment. Not just one where your physical body is ‘safe’, but one where you feel safe and secure in a psychological and emotional way as well.
Danny looks through the photo album again. Flipping through pages that contained just about every memory from his childhood and early teen years. Some in perfect condition, others a definite restored copy, but all of them just as important as the other. He really should send a thank you text or something to Sam and Tucker for putting this together. The first time that they had pulled it out of the box after Robin had delivered it had been an extremely emotional affair. Both he and Jazz poured over the family pictures and memories. They told J’onn all of the accompanying stories behind certain pictures. They laughed and they cried, but most importantly, Danny knew that it had to be the first step towards actually healing from the shitshow that was his life recently.
Danny looks up when his door opens. It’s J’onn and Jazz and from what he can smell, they’ve brought food. His stomach rumbles loudly and he makes grabby hands at the second plate that J’onn is carrying. J’onn smiles tenderly at the teen as he hands over the plate of food.
“So, how long do I have to stay here? Cause I feel pretty much in tip top shape.” Danny asks, shoveling food hastily into his mouth. Damn, he didn’t think he’d be this hungry until there was food placed in front of him. Makes sense though, considering he’s been on a mostly Ecto diet over the last few days.
“For the time being or overall?” J’onn answers.
Danny hums a bit as he thinks of an answer. “Both.”
“For the time being you’ll be moved into a more permanent living arrangement on the Watchtower. Of course you’ll have to pass all of the health tests and have a clean bill of health before that can happen.” J’onn explains as he starts on his own plate. Jazz is quietly listening to their conversation, probably also wondering the same things as Danny. “Overall, well, that’s a little less sure. Until we can permanently dismantle the GIW, you and your sister will need to stay here on the Watchtower. Once we’ve determined that Earth is a safe place for the two of you again then we can go back to our normal lives.”
Danny scoffs a bit. Normal? He wasn’t even normal before the incident. But that’s ok, he guesses. He, Jazz, and J’onn can carve out their own kind of normal again.
“So when can I move out of this room? It’s getting a bit cramped in here with all three of us basically living here.” Danny asks as nonchalantly as he can manage.
J’onn chuckles at Danny’s eagerness that he’d tried to hide. “I have your medical team coming in this afternoon. If you are given the all clear, then we can start moving you into one of the more hospitable apartments here on the Watchtower. They are meant for heroes and staff that stay here for longer durations of time than others.”
Danny sighs. He doesn’t really want to stay in this tiny room for much longer but if he can get out of here sooner rather than later then he’ll take it. It wasn’t like he was going to be allowed back down to Earth for a while. So if he can somehow get access to see the stars or maybe even permission to go chill out in space; he should be fine for now. Even if he didn’t really feel very fine at the moment.
‘It’s ok to not be ok’ repeats in his mind. It bounces around in his skull, making him feel more and more frustrated with the phrase. Danny takes a deep breath and holds it for a second. He waits until he can feel the slight strain on his lungs from needing fresh air before letting out the breath.
‘This is a part of the healing process. The first little step to feeling just a little better.’ Another little voice in his mind said. This time sounding suspiciously like Jazz. He silently tells it to shut up.
“Sooo…” He starts, making sure to keep his eyes firmly on his plate in front of him as he pushes around the last few scraps of his food. He sighs, might as well get this over with. “Is this ‘safe place’,” Danny uses air quotes. His eyes dart around the room, still trying to avoid either of the others’ gazes. “somewhere I’ll be able to see and hang out with my friends? I know from personal experience that being isolated for too long takes heavy mental tolls. Especially while I’m healing.”
There’s a moment of silence where Jazz and J’onn both stare at him with a bit of a surprised expression. Danny furrowed his brow and looked up at the other two. Jazz is staring at him like he’s suddenly become someone else. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but was instead interrupted by his sister.
“Awwww, Danny!” Jazz coos from across the room where she’s sat on the small couch. Her plate is carefully balanced on her lap. One hand lightly held the edge of her plate and the other pressed to her chest as if something had struck her heart. “You do listen to me!”
Danny rolls his eyes. “I had to start picking things up at some point. You talk about it all the time. Something had to stick one way or another.” A slight smile graces his lips. Something most commonly seen whenever He and Jazz would tease each other.
J’onn watched the two siblings banter and bicker with each other as a fond smile slowly spreads across his face. It was nice to see them take the first steps on their healing journeys. He could catch glimpses into the people they may have once been before this horrific event. It was something J’onn hoped that he could nurture and bring back that spark one day.
But for now he would continue to live for these quiet moments. These times when the two siblings felt safe enough in his presence to be able to let down those walls that had once been their only defense in the world they’d grown up in. He would strive to become that safe space that these two precious beings needed so desperately. And who knows, maybe it could help heal the hurt that still pricked at his heart, even now after so many years.