Chapter Text
Episode One
The camera opens on an open field. A man in a suit steps into frame looking very professional.
SHAWN
Hello, you pathetic waste of space. My name is Shawn. Welcome to The Mole. Eight contestants have gathered to compete in academic and athletic challenges. Each successfully completed challenge will result in money getting added to the pot. The final player remaining at the end of the game will win the full amount. However, one of the eight is a mole, hired by us, to sabotage the other players’ progress. Now that the game has been explained, let’s meet our victims - I mean, contestants.
CUT TO:
Previously shot individual clips of the contestants. Their name, age, home location, and career is shown underneath them as they talk.
ELEANOR (29, Arizona, Sales)
Oh trust me, I know how this works. I’ve seen a ton of reality shows.
(looks seriously into the camera)
I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to win.
(looks off camera)
Was that good? Good enough for a promo though? Lemme do it again.
CHIDI (34, Senegal, moral philosophy professor)
I’m glad I tried out to be on the show. I think it will be a good opportunity. Right? It will, won’t it? This wasn’t a huge mistake?
(no response from behind the camera)
Is it too late to back out?
JASON (27, Florida, professional amateur DJ)
HEY JACKSONVILLE!! I’M ON TV! I want to give a shoutout to my boy, Pillboi! Bros for lyfe! I’m sorry our plan to sneak you here in my luggage didn’t work, but I’ll figure out something else, dude, don’t worry about it. JACKSONVILLE RULES!
SIMONE (30, Australia, Neuroscientist)
I’m so pumped to be here! Whether or not I win, I’m sure this’ll be a fun time.
(serious face)
But I’m gonna win.
TAHANI (30, UK, heir/philanthropist)
Hello, all! I’m so honored to have been chosen to participate in this competition. And, rest assured, if I win, I will donate all the money to charity.
MICHAEL (46, Arizona, architect)
I can’t say much, but I’ve definitely got a strategy and I can’t wait to put it into play.
(evil grin)
JANET (30, Minnesota, personal assistant)
I imagine my career will help me win. I’m really good at reading people.
VICKY (29, Florida, Actress)
(looks seriously into the camera, but actually means it)
I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to win.
CUT BACK TO:
Shawn standing in the open field. His face has not changed.
SHAWN
(dry)
Wasn’t that fascinating? As you can see, we’ve brought all the contestants out here for the first game.
CAMERA PANS TO REVEAL:
The contestants are all blindfolded at the top of a hill. We get to see them all looking annoyed (Vicky) or excited (Jason).
SHAWN (voiceover)
Hopefully, these contestants are ready to tackle these upcoming challenges. And hopefully, the mole
(dramatic pause)
is ready to stop them. And there’s no better place to start than here.
SHAWN (in-person)
Contestants! Remove your blindfolds!
The group removes their blindfolds to see
REVEAL:
A huge obstacle course with punching walls, moving platforms, and of course, giant red balls to jump across.
ELEANOR
You’ve gotta be forking kidding me.
CUT TO:
The group individually going through the obstacle course. Chidi and Michael get eliminated immediately. Tahani cries when she gets knocked off the punching wall and into the mud. The camera catches her talking privately to a producer, trying to get out of being on the show. Janet and Simone make it farther than most by actually being patient and timing out the punches and swinging things that knock you off platforms. Running completely counter to that, Eleanor and Vicky try to blaze through the course as quickly as possible. Finally, Jason yells “BORTLES!” and trips off of the first platform. No one makes it to the end. After it’s all over, the camera cuts to Shawn, who looks embarrassed.
SHAWN
It’s gonna be a long season. Let’s move on to the second game.
CUT TO:
The group, all cleaned up and sitting in a high school classroom. There are 6 rows of desks. Shawn hasn’t arrived yet. The contestants are clearly being left alone to create bonds/make enemies. Eleanor scans the room to suss out her competition. Most offer her polite smiles. Vicky does a two-fingered point at her eyes, then points at Eleanor’s eyes. Eleanor goes back to facing ahead. Michael, who’s on her right, turns to her.
MICHAEL
Hey, you’re from Arizona, right?
ELEANOR
(immediately suspicious)
Yeah?
MICHAEL
Me too! Great place. Hot though. But a dry heat.
ELEANOR
Yeah.
She slowly goes back to facing the front of the room. Michael looks into the camera and gives it a subtle smile.
CUT TO:
A previously-shot aside from Michael.
MICHAEL
My strategy is to act like a friendly grandfather figure.
(innocent voice)
No one’s gonna vote against the kindly silver fox.
CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. Shawn enters.
SHAWN
Hello, losers. Did you enjoy the previous game?
Various responses, including a firm “not in the slightest!” from Tahani and a “yeah dawg!” from Jason.
SHAWN
Well, good thing this next game is a little less physical.
He pulls the string on the map covering the whiteboard and it goes up to reveal the words ‘The Graduate’.
SHAWN
This game is called The Graduate. You started with $4,000 in the pot, but since no one reached the end of the obstacle course, the amount is now $2,000. If you want to bring that money back up to something respectable, you’ll need to bring your A-game to this.
JASON
(quietly to Tahani who’s sitting beside him)
$2,000 isn’t respectable?
Tahani laughs, then realizes he’s not joking.
SHAWN
Everyone, move to the back row.
Everyone moves to the back row.
VICKY
(grumbling)
Why would you not tell us that to start with?
ELEANOR
That’s what I’m saying!
VICKY
(immediately)
We’re not friends.
Once everyone’s sitting in the back row, Shawn pulls out a stack of cards from his suit coat pocket.
SHAWN
I’m going to ask you all a series of questions. Each incorrect answer deducts $1,000 from the game while a correct answer means that player can move up one seat. Each correct answer also adds another $1,000 to the pot. If one of you somehow gets enough questions correct to make it to the front row, the game is over. Understand?
The group notes the six rows of desks and voices their ‘ready’s.
SHAWN
Alright. Question one:
(reading off his cards)
What is the proper noun in this sentence: ‘She told me to go to the downtown subway station near Madison Street.’?
Everyone seems a little confused. Chidi raises his hand.
CHIDI
Madison Street?
SHAWN
That’s $1,000 added to the pot. Chidi, move up one seat.
Happily, Chidi moves up one.
SHAWN
What does the root word ‘dict’ (as in ‘dictator)’ mean?
Chidi, Simone, and Janet raise their hands. Jason appears to be making himself comfortable in the back. Shawn gestures to Simone.
SIMONE
Say.
SHAWN
Move ahead.
She moves up. She and Chidi exchange a smile.
SHAWN
What form of government comes from the Greek word that means “one chief”?
JANET
Monarchy.
SHAWN
That’s correct.
Janet moves up one row.
SHAWN
On what trophic level would you place phytoplankton?
Janet raises her hand again.
JANET
Producer.
SHAWN
Right again.
CHIDI
Whoa! Go, Janet!
CUT TO:
A previously-shot aside from Janet.
JANET
I’m currently a personal assistant, but I used to be a teacher. And a librarian on the weekends.
(genuine)
Like I'd tell my students, that means I know everything.
CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. Janet’s moved up another row, leading the pack.
VICKY
(bitter)
This is unbelievable.
ELEANOR
Could you PLEASE ask a question a normal person could answer?
Chidi looks back.
ELEANOR
Oh, sorry. Nothing personal, egghead. I’d just like to win.
TAHANI
It’s not so much about winning for me. I just know that my good friend Rihanna would be so disappointed in me if I lose.
She smiles at the camera as Eleanor and Vicky roll their eyes.
CUT TO:
Previously shot aside from Tahani.
TAHANI
In my illustrious career as a philanthropist –
ELEANOR
(off-camera)
That’s not a career.
TAHANI
(offended)
I believe we aren’t allowed to be in each other’s –
The scene cuts ahead. Tahani’s back to sitting primly and the scene’s clearly been reset.
TAHANI
As I was saying, because of my . . . background, I know a lot about many different subjects because I have friends from all different social classes: upper, middle, the upper-middle. And they’ve all taught me different lessons about the world. So I should do well in the academic challenges.
(in a self-mocking, but still incredibly egotistical way)
As long as they aren’t too, you know. Academic.
CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. Tahani, Eleanor, Jason, Michael, and Vicky have not moved.
SHAWN
You contestants are so needy. Fine.
(he flips through his cards and reads through some of them)
Here. Who is the only solo artist to have five Billboard number 1 albums before they were 19?
Tahani’s hand shoots into the air.
TAHANI
Justin Bieber.
Shawn nods and Tahani makes a happy noise as she moves up one. Jason claps as Eleanor and Vicky both look on in disbelief.
ELEANOR
(quietly)
This is bogus.
Eleanor leans over towards Vicky.
ELEANOR
(whisper)
We can’t win against these nerds. Wanna start an alliance?
VICKY
Get away from me.
Eleanor slowly leans away.
SHAWN
Which celebrity is also known as “Jenny from the Block”?
Eleanor’s hand shoots up.
ELEANOR
JLo!
Shawn nods and she whoops. She moves forward a seat, turns back to Vicky, and sticks out her tongue.
SHAWN
Ariana Grande got her start on what kids show?
ELEANOR
iCarly!
SHAWN
Wrong.
Eleanor freezes. Tahani raises her hand.
TAHANI
Victorious?
SHAWN
Correct. Tahani, move forward. Eleanor, move back.
Eleanor sheepishly moves back as Tahani moves forward. Vicky gives her a pointed smug grin, which Eleanor ignores.
ELEANOR
(quietly)
This is bullshirt.
SHAWN
Because Eleanor got the last question wrong, $1000 will be deducted from the pot.
ELEANOR
(embarrassed but trying not to show it)
Yeah dude, we got it.
TAHANI
Could we refrain from answering questions if we don’t know the answers please?
ELEANOR
Oh yeah, like I meant to get that wrong.
CHIDI
I mean…you could have.
ELEANOR
Are you calling me the mole?
The group descends into arguing. Shawn glances over at the camera and lets his neutral/displeased mask drop briefly with a grin.
CUT TO:
Separately shot aside from Shawn.
SHAWN
I don’t need to bring up when they lose money.
(grins)
But it’s the best part of my job.
CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. Shawn’s mask is back on.
SHAWN
(over the arguing)
That’s enough. As much as I enjoy watching you all bicker, I’d love to finish this so I can go home. Next question.
(he flips to the next card)
What is the pitch range of a tuba?
Chidi and Janet both raise their hands. Shawn points at Chidi.
CHIDI
Bass.
Shawn nods and Chidi moves forward.
SHAWN
Traveling south, what continent is closest to Asia?
SIMONE
Australia.
Shawn nods and Simone moves ahead. She and Chidi high-five. Michael leans over to Eleanor.
MICHAEL
Nerds, right?
Eleanor eyes him suspiciously.
MICHAEL
I mean, whether it’s facts or celebrity trivia –
(shrugs good-naturedly)
I won’t know it either way.
SHAWN
What is the name for a window that sticks out on the outside of a house?
Michael’s hand shoots up.
MICHAEL
A bay window!
Shawn nods. Michael moves forward eagerly.
CUT TO:
Separately shot aside from Michael.
MICHAEL
I don’t want people to think I’m the mole. But I’m definitely not going to be the last person in the back row.
CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. There’s a montage as everyone moves forward and back. Even Jason gets a question right (“BORTLES!” “Correct. And you don’t need to yell.”). The only one who hasn’t moved is Vicky. Chidi, Janet, and Simone have been steadily moving forward and are now tied for the lead.
SHAWN
(Post-montage, talking to the camera, catching everyone up)
This trio has answered multiple questions in multiple different fields, establishing themselves as the brains of this team. Everyone else . . . is also here.
JASON
(cheerful)
Hi!
SHAWN
Perhaps they’ll reveal some talent in the future. But I doubt it.
A quiet discussion between the trio while Shawn talks to the camera:
SIMONE
I hope you two enjoy coming in second because you’re about to.
JANET
I’m just happy to have gotten this far!
CHIDI
Me too. It’s nerve wracking though.
SIMONE
You two are the worst trash-talkers I’ve ever met.
Shawn refocuses on the trio.
SHAWN
You’re almost at the end. But this last question might be the one to trip you up so listen carefully.
(he checks his cards dramatically)
What are . . . jalapeño poppers?
The three contestants all look confused. Jason, who’s only one chair forward, perks up.
JASON
Oh! I know this one!
SIMONE
…I mean, I know it’s a food.
SHAWN
I’m going to need you to be more specific.
CHIDI
It’s fried, right?
JANET
I have no idea.
JASON
(hand raised)
Ooh, ooh!
SHAWN
(sighs)
Yes?
JASON
They’re deep-fried jalapeños filled with cheese.
SHAWN
(begrudgingly)
That’s correct.
JASON
One time at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Jacksonville – the nice one, not the one above the gas station – I ate 50 of them in two minutes! Everyone at the hospital was so impressed.
SHAWN
(desperate to move on)
Please move forward.
Jason eagerly moves up one. Shawn flips through the cards until he finds a new question he likes.
SHAWN
Okay. Now for our REAL last question: Which of these works is considered Emmanuel Kant’s magnum opus? Metaphysics of Morals, Critique of Pure Reason, or An Answer to the Question: What is Enlightenment?’
SIMONE
Critique of Pure Reason?
SHAWN
That’s correct!
SIMONE
Yes! That was a total guess.
SHAWN
Congratulations, Simone.
Simone grins as (most) everyone offers congratulations.
CHIDI
Great job! I can’t believe I missed that.
SIMONE
It’s fine. You were nervous, I get it.
(teasingly)
Plus, I told you to enjoy coming in second.
Chidi suddenly realizes she’s flirting and looks flustered. The attention in the room refocuses on Shawn, who’s grinning evilly.
SHAWN
Yes, Simone reached the front row first. However, in this game, it’s the person who answered the lowest number of questions correctly who wins. Which would be . . . Vicky.
Everyone turns to Vicky in the back row.
VICKY
I won?
SIMONE
What? That doesn’t make any sense.
SHAWN
Vicky, because you got lowest amount of questions right –
ELEANOR
Zero.
Vicky glares at her.
SHAWN
I want to make you a special offer. In this game, the group earned $19,000 for the pot. I’m going to offer that money to you. If you accept this offer, the $19,000 will go directly out of the group pot and into your bank account IF –
VICKY
I accept.
SHAWN
IF! You win the overall game.
VICKY
I accept.
ELEANOR
You realize he means winning the whole game, right? Like, the whole show.
TAHANI
Yes, your odds don’t look great.
VICKY
(ignoring them and emphasizing her words)
I accept the offer.
JASON
You’d sell us out like that for $19,000?
VICKY
I’d sell you out for $1,000.
JASON
That’s cold, dawg.
SHAWN
Okay. $19,000 has been taken from the group pot. As a group, you all now back at $2,000.
Everyone looks disgruntled as Vicky grins.
CUT TO:
Separately shot aside from Simone.
SIMONE
Did you see how fast she took that deal? Very suspicious.
CUT BACK TO:
The classroom.
SHAWN
Alright, time to take the final examinations on who you think the mole is. Whoever answers the highest number of questions incorrectly will be kicked out of the game. And tonight –
(he gives the camera a look of evil glee)
We’ll have our execution.
CHIDI
Do you mean elimination?
SHAWN
No.
CAMERAMAN
(from off-camera)
He does. It’s just an elimination.
SHAWN
Shut up, Glenn!
CUT TO:
Asides.
SIMONE
What was the point of that? The loser wins? This game show is ridiculous.
Cut to:
JANET
Vicky taking the money so quickly definitely made her seem like a good candidate for the mole.
Cut to:
ELEANOR
Michael’s being way too friendly. Definite mole behavior.
Cut to:
CHIDI
(nervous)
I can’t decide. I mean, we’re so early in the game. There are still so many possibilities.
Cut to:
VICKY
(absolutely certain)
It’s Eleanor.
CAMERAMAN
(off-camera)
Why do you think that?
VICKY
I just don’t like her.
Cut to:
TAHANI
This is so exciting! All this intrigue. Trying to sneak a peek into someone else’s head. It reminds me of when my friends Kelly and Michelle came to me about our mutual friend – well, I won’t say her name. But they were worried she was going to leave their girl group and they wanted to know what I thought. Well, did I ever feel like a child of Destiny then!
(she grins)
Do you . . . do you get it or –
Cut to:
ELEANOR
I thought it was suspicious that the philosophy professor got the philosophy question wrong. Chidi might be the mole. But he’s also smart enough to pretend he’s the mole so we vote for him, get our quizzes wrong, and get eliminated faster. But he might have anticipated that and he’s pretending to pretend he’s the mole. OR –
Cut to:
JASON
(staring at the quiz paper, frowning)
Man, I don’t remember anybody’s names.
CUT TO:
The deciding grounds. The group is sitting in the main foyer of a mansion. There’s a large screen sitting on an empty table. Shawn hasn’t arrived yet. Jason goes to sit next to Janet.
JASON
Hey, do you actually not know what jalepeño poppers are?
JANET
I actually do not.
JASON
(completely genuine)
They’re so good! After this, we should totally hang! I know a place that has really good poppers.
JANET
The Buffalo Wild Wings that isn’t above the gas station?
JASON
(lights up)
Yeah! How’d you know?
Janet smiles, clearly smitten. Shawn arrives and the room quiets down.
SHAWN
Alright buttbrains, let's do this.
He sits behind the empty table.
SHAWN
I’m going to call your names. If the screen flashes green, you’re safe for the week. If it flashes red, it’s time to pack up. Let’s begin.
There’s a dramatic pause as the group takes this in.
SHAWN
First . . . Janet.
There’s a long hold on the screen. Then it flashes green. Janet breathes a sigh of relief. After each name is called, each person has a reaction shot of them looking relieved.
SHAWN
Eleanor.
Long pause. Green.
SHAWN
Michael.
Long pause. Green.
SHAWN
Tahani.
Long pause. Green.
SHAWN
Vicky.
Long pause. Red.
VICKY
(enraged)
What?
SHAWN
Please pack up your things.
VICKY
I will not stand for this!
ELEANOR
Is there any way we can get the $19,000 back?
VICKY
Damn it, Eleanor. You are the worst. And you can all suck it.
She storms out, knocking stuff over as she goes. There’s dramatic music as everyone watches her leave and we get different reaction shots. Some (Janet, Tahani, Chidi) are shocked, some (Eleanor, Michael) are eyeing other players warily. The camera lands on Shawn, who looks thrilled.
SHAWN
This was a good first episode.
END of episode one.