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Chapter Text

Episode One

The camera opens on an open field. A man in a suit steps into frame looking very professional.

SHAWN
Hello, you pathetic waste of space. My name is Shawn. Welcome to The Mole. Eight contestants have gathered to compete in academic and athletic challenges. Each successfully completed challenge will result in money getting added to the pot. The final player remaining at the end of the game will win the full amount. However, one of the eight is a mole, hired by us, to sabotage the other players’ progress. Now that the game has been explained, let’s meet our victims - I mean, contestants.

CUT TO:
Previously shot individual clips of the contestants. Their name, age, home location, and career is shown underneath them as they talk.

ELEANOR (29, Arizona, Sales)
Oh trust me, I know how this works. I’ve seen a ton of reality shows.
(looks seriously into the camera)
I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to win.
(looks off camera)
Was that good? Good enough for a promo though? Lemme do it again.

CHIDI (34, Senegal, moral philosophy professor)
I’m glad I tried out to be on the show. I think it will be a good opportunity. Right? It will, won’t it? This wasn’t a huge mistake?
(no response from behind the camera)
Is it too late to back out?

JASON (27, Florida, professional amateur DJ)
HEY JACKSONVILLE!! I’M ON TV! I want to give a shoutout to my boy, Pillboi! Bros for lyfe! I’m sorry our plan to sneak you here in my luggage didn’t work, but I’ll figure out something else, dude, don’t worry about it. JACKSONVILLE RULES!

SIMONE (30, Australia, Neuroscientist)
I’m so pumped to be here! Whether or not I win, I’m sure this’ll be a fun time.
(serious face)
But I’m gonna win.

TAHANI (30, UK, heir/philanthropist)
Hello, all! I’m so honored to have been chosen to participate in this competition. And, rest assured, if I win, I will donate all the money to charity.

MICHAEL (46, Arizona, architect)
I can’t say much, but I’ve definitely got a strategy and I can’t wait to put it into play.
(evil grin)

JANET (30, Minnesota, personal assistant)
I imagine my career will help me win. I’m really good at reading people.

VICKY (29, Florida, Actress)
(looks seriously into the camera, but actually means it)
I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to win.

CUT BACK TO:
Shawn standing in the open field. His face has not changed.

SHAWN
(dry)
Wasn’t that fascinating? As you can see, we’ve brought all the contestants out here for the first game.

CAMERA PANS TO REVEAL:
The contestants are all blindfolded at the top of a hill. We get to see them all looking annoyed (Vicky) or excited (Jason).

SHAWN (voiceover)
Hopefully, these contestants are ready to tackle these upcoming challenges. And hopefully, the mole
(dramatic pause)
is ready to stop them. And there’s no better place to start than here.

SHAWN (in-person)
Contestants! Remove your blindfolds!

The group removes their blindfolds to see
REVEAL:
A huge obstacle course with punching walls, moving platforms, and of course, giant red balls to jump across.

ELEANOR
You’ve gotta be forking kidding me.

CUT TO:
The group individually going through the obstacle course. Chidi and Michael get eliminated immediately. Tahani cries when she gets knocked off the punching wall and into the mud. The camera catches her talking privately to a producer, trying to get out of being on the show. Janet and Simone make it farther than most by actually being patient and timing out the punches and swinging things that knock you off platforms. Running completely counter to that, Eleanor and Vicky try to blaze through the course as quickly as possible. Finally, Jason yells “BORTLES!” and trips off of the first platform. No one makes it to the end. After it’s all over, the camera cuts to Shawn, who looks embarrassed.

SHAWN
It’s gonna be a long season. Let’s move on to the second game.

CUT TO:
The group, all cleaned up and sitting in a high school classroom. There are 6 rows of desks. Shawn hasn’t arrived yet. The contestants are clearly being left alone to create bonds/make enemies. Eleanor scans the room to suss out her competition. Most offer her polite smiles. Vicky does a two-fingered point at her eyes, then points at Eleanor’s eyes. Eleanor goes back to facing ahead. Michael, who’s on her right, turns to her.

MICHAEL
Hey, you’re from Arizona, right?

ELEANOR
(immediately suspicious)
Yeah?

MICHAEL
Me too! Great place. Hot though. But a dry heat.

ELEANOR
Yeah.

She slowly goes back to facing the front of the room. Michael looks into the camera and gives it a subtle smile.

CUT TO:
A previously-shot aside from Michael.

MICHAEL
My strategy is to act like a friendly grandfather figure.
(innocent voice)
No one’s gonna vote against the kindly silver fox.

CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. Shawn enters.

SHAWN
Hello, losers. Did you enjoy the previous game?

Various responses, including a firm “not in the slightest!” from Tahani and a “yeah dawg!” from Jason.

SHAWN
Well, good thing this next game is a little less physical.

He pulls the string on the map covering the whiteboard and it goes up to reveal the words ‘The Graduate’.

SHAWN
This game is called The Graduate. You started with $4,000 in the pot, but since no one reached the end of the obstacle course, the amount is now $2,000. If you want to bring that money back up to something respectable, you’ll need to bring your A-game to this.

JASON
(quietly to Tahani who’s sitting beside him)
$2,000 isn’t respectable?

Tahani laughs, then realizes he’s not joking.

SHAWN
Everyone, move to the back row.

Everyone moves to the back row.

VICKY
(grumbling)
Why would you not tell us that to start with?

ELEANOR
That’s what I’m saying!

VICKY
(immediately)
We’re not friends.

Once everyone’s sitting in the back row, Shawn pulls out a stack of cards from his suit coat pocket.

SHAWN
I’m going to ask you all a series of questions. Each incorrect answer deducts $1,000 from the game while a correct answer means that player can move up one seat. Each correct answer also adds another $1,000 to the pot. If one of you somehow gets enough questions correct to make it to the front row, the game is over. Understand?

The group notes the six rows of desks and voices their ‘ready’s.

SHAWN
Alright. Question one:
(reading off his cards)
What is the proper noun in this sentence: ‘She told me to go to the downtown subway station near Madison Street.’?

Everyone seems a little confused. Chidi raises his hand.

CHIDI
Madison Street?

SHAWN
That’s $1,000 added to the pot. Chidi, move up one seat.

Happily, Chidi moves up one.

SHAWN
What does the root word ‘dict’ (as in ‘dictator)’ mean?

Chidi, Simone, and Janet raise their hands. Jason appears to be making himself comfortable in the back. Shawn gestures to Simone.

SIMONE
Say.

SHAWN
Move ahead.

She moves up. She and Chidi exchange a smile.

SHAWN
What form of government comes from the Greek word that means “one chief”?

JANET
Monarchy.

SHAWN
That’s correct.

Janet moves up one row.

SHAWN
On what trophic level would you place phytoplankton?

Janet raises her hand again.

JANET
Producer.

SHAWN
Right again.

CHIDI
Whoa! Go, Janet!

CUT TO:
A previously-shot aside from Janet.

JANET
I’m currently a personal assistant, but I used to be a teacher. And a librarian on the weekends.
(genuine)
Like I'd tell my students, that means I know everything.

CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. Janet’s moved up another row, leading the pack.

VICKY
(bitter)
This is unbelievable.

ELEANOR
Could you PLEASE ask a question a normal person could answer?

Chidi looks back.

ELEANOR
Oh, sorry. Nothing personal, egghead. I’d just like to win.

TAHANI
It’s not so much about winning for me. I just know that my good friend Rihanna would be so disappointed in me if I lose.

She smiles at the camera as Eleanor and Vicky roll their eyes.

CUT TO:
Previously shot aside from Tahani.

TAHANI
In my illustrious career as a philanthropist –

ELEANOR
(off-camera)
That’s not a career.

TAHANI
(offended)
I believe we aren’t allowed to be in each other’s –

The scene cuts ahead. Tahani’s back to sitting primly and the scene’s clearly been reset.

TAHANI
As I was saying, because of my . . . background, I know a lot about many different subjects because I have friends from all different social classes: upper, middle, the upper-middle. And they’ve all taught me different lessons about the world. So I should do well in the academic challenges.
(in a self-mocking, but still incredibly egotistical way)
As long as they aren’t too, you know. Academic.

CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. Tahani, Eleanor, Jason, Michael, and Vicky have not moved.

SHAWN
You contestants are so needy. Fine.
(he flips through his cards and reads through some of them)
Here. Who is the only solo artist to have five Billboard number 1 albums before they were 19?

Tahani’s hand shoots into the air.

TAHANI
Justin Bieber.

Shawn nods and Tahani makes a happy noise as she moves up one. Jason claps as Eleanor and Vicky both look on in disbelief.

ELEANOR
(quietly)
This is bogus.

Eleanor leans over towards Vicky.

ELEANOR
(whisper)
We can’t win against these nerds. Wanna start an alliance?

VICKY
Get away from me.

Eleanor slowly leans away.

SHAWN
Which celebrity is also known as “Jenny from the Block”?

Eleanor’s hand shoots up.

ELEANOR
JLo!

Shawn nods and she whoops. She moves forward a seat, turns back to Vicky, and sticks out her tongue.

SHAWN
Ariana Grande got her start on what kids show?

ELEANOR
iCarly!

SHAWN
Wrong.

Eleanor freezes. Tahani raises her hand.

TAHANI
Victorious?

SHAWN
Correct. Tahani, move forward. Eleanor, move back.

Eleanor sheepishly moves back as Tahani moves forward. Vicky gives her a pointed smug grin, which Eleanor ignores.

ELEANOR
(quietly)
This is bullshirt.

SHAWN
Because Eleanor got the last question wrong, $1000 will be deducted from the pot.

ELEANOR
(embarrassed but trying not to show it)
Yeah dude, we got it.

TAHANI
Could we refrain from answering questions if we don’t know the answers please?

ELEANOR
Oh yeah, like I meant to get that wrong.

CHIDI
I mean…you could have.

ELEANOR
Are you calling me the mole?

The group descends into arguing. Shawn glances over at the camera and lets his neutral/displeased mask drop briefly with a grin.

CUT TO:
Separately shot aside from Shawn.

SHAWN
I don’t need to bring up when they lose money.
(grins)
But it’s the best part of my job.

CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. Shawn’s mask is back on.

SHAWN
(over the arguing)
That’s enough. As much as I enjoy watching you all bicker, I’d love to finish this so I can go home. Next question.
(he flips to the next card)
What is the pitch range of a tuba?

Chidi and Janet both raise their hands. Shawn points at Chidi.

CHIDI
Bass.

Shawn nods and Chidi moves forward.

SHAWN
Traveling south, what continent is closest to Asia?

SIMONE
Australia.

Shawn nods and Simone moves ahead. She and Chidi high-five. Michael leans over to Eleanor.

MICHAEL
Nerds, right?

Eleanor eyes him suspiciously.

MICHAEL
I mean, whether it’s facts or celebrity trivia –
(shrugs good-naturedly)
I won’t know it either way.

SHAWN
What is the name for a window that sticks out on the outside of a house?

Michael’s hand shoots up.

MICHAEL
A bay window!

Shawn nods. Michael moves forward eagerly.

CUT TO:
Separately shot aside from Michael.

MICHAEL
I don’t want people to think I’m the mole. But I’m definitely not going to be the last person in the back row.

CUT BACK TO:
The classroom. There’s a montage as everyone moves forward and back. Even Jason gets a question right (“BORTLES!” “Correct. And you don’t need to yell.”). The only one who hasn’t moved is Vicky. Chidi, Janet, and Simone have been steadily moving forward and are now tied for the lead.

SHAWN
(Post-montage, talking to the camera, catching everyone up)
This trio has answered multiple questions in multiple different fields, establishing themselves as the brains of this team. Everyone else . . . is also here.

JASON
(cheerful)
Hi!

SHAWN
Perhaps they’ll reveal some talent in the future. But I doubt it.

A quiet discussion between the trio while Shawn talks to the camera:

SIMONE
I hope you two enjoy coming in second because you’re about to.

JANET
I’m just happy to have gotten this far!

CHIDI
Me too. It’s nerve wracking though.

SIMONE
You two are the worst trash-talkers I’ve ever met.

Shawn refocuses on the trio.

SHAWN
You’re almost at the end. But this last question might be the one to trip you up so listen carefully.
(he checks his cards dramatically)
What are . . . jalapeño poppers?

The three contestants all look confused. Jason, who’s only one chair forward, perks up.

JASON
Oh! I know this one!

SIMONE
…I mean, I know it’s a food.

SHAWN
I’m going to need you to be more specific.

CHIDI
It’s fried, right?

JANET
I have no idea.

JASON
(hand raised)
Ooh, ooh!

SHAWN
(sighs)
Yes?

JASON
They’re deep-fried jalapeños filled with cheese.

SHAWN
(begrudgingly)
That’s correct.

JASON
One time at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Jacksonville – the nice one, not the one above the gas station – I ate 50 of them in two minutes! Everyone at the hospital was so impressed.

SHAWN
(desperate to move on)
Please move forward.

Jason eagerly moves up one. Shawn flips through the cards until he finds a new question he likes.

SHAWN
Okay. Now for our REAL last question: Which of these works is considered Emmanuel Kant’s magnum opus? Metaphysics of Morals, Critique of Pure Reason, or An Answer to the Question: What is Enlightenment?’

SIMONE
Critique of Pure Reason?

SHAWN
That’s correct!

SIMONE
Yes! That was a total guess.

SHAWN
Congratulations, Simone.

Simone grins as (most) everyone offers congratulations.

CHIDI
Great job! I can’t believe I missed that.

SIMONE
It’s fine. You were nervous, I get it.
(teasingly)
Plus, I told you to enjoy coming in second.

Chidi suddenly realizes she’s flirting and looks flustered. The attention in the room refocuses on Shawn, who’s grinning evilly.

SHAWN
Yes, Simone reached the front row first. However, in this game, it’s the person who answered the lowest number of questions correctly who wins. Which would be . . . Vicky.

Everyone turns to Vicky in the back row.

VICKY
I won?

SIMONE
What? That doesn’t make any sense.

SHAWN
Vicky, because you got lowest amount of questions right –

ELEANOR
Zero.

Vicky glares at her.

SHAWN
I want to make you a special offer. In this game, the group earned $19,000 for the pot. I’m going to offer that money to you. If you accept this offer, the $19,000 will go directly out of the group pot and into your bank account IF –

VICKY
I accept.

SHAWN
IF! You win the overall game.

VICKY
I accept.

ELEANOR
You realize he means winning the whole game, right? Like, the whole show.

TAHANI
Yes, your odds don’t look great.

VICKY
(ignoring them and emphasizing her words)
I accept the offer.

JASON
You’d sell us out like that for $19,000?

VICKY
I’d sell you out for $1,000.

JASON
That’s cold, dawg.

SHAWN
Okay. $19,000 has been taken from the group pot. As a group, you all now back at $2,000.

Everyone looks disgruntled as Vicky grins.

CUT TO:
Separately shot aside from Simone.

SIMONE
Did you see how fast she took that deal? Very suspicious.

CUT BACK TO:
The classroom.

SHAWN
Alright, time to take the final examinations on who you think the mole is. Whoever answers the highest number of questions incorrectly will be kicked out of the game. And tonight –
(he gives the camera a look of evil glee)
We’ll have our execution.

CHIDI
Do you mean elimination?

SHAWN
No.

CAMERAMAN
(from off-camera)
He does. It’s just an elimination.

SHAWN
Shut up, Glenn!

CUT TO:
Asides.

SIMONE
What was the point of that? The loser wins? This game show is ridiculous.

Cut to:

JANET
Vicky taking the money so quickly definitely made her seem like a good candidate for the mole.

Cut to:

ELEANOR
Michael’s being way too friendly. Definite mole behavior.

Cut to:

CHIDI
(nervous)
I can’t decide. I mean, we’re so early in the game. There are still so many possibilities.

Cut to:

VICKY
(absolutely certain)
It’s Eleanor.

CAMERAMAN
(off-camera)
Why do you think that?

VICKY
I just don’t like her.

Cut to:

TAHANI
This is so exciting! All this intrigue. Trying to sneak a peek into someone else’s head. It reminds me of when my friends Kelly and Michelle came to me about our mutual friend – well, I won’t say her name. But they were worried she was going to leave their girl group and they wanted to know what I thought. Well, did I ever feel like a child of Destiny then!
(she grins)
Do you . . . do you get it or –

Cut to:

ELEANOR
I thought it was suspicious that the philosophy professor got the philosophy question wrong. Chidi might be the mole. But he’s also smart enough to pretend he’s the mole so we vote for him, get our quizzes wrong, and get eliminated faster. But he might have anticipated that and he’s pretending to pretend he’s the mole. OR –

Cut to:

JASON
(staring at the quiz paper, frowning)
Man, I don’t remember anybody’s names.

CUT TO:
The deciding grounds. The group is sitting in the main foyer of a mansion. There’s a large screen sitting on an empty table. Shawn hasn’t arrived yet. Jason goes to sit next to Janet.

JASON
Hey, do you actually not know what jalepeño poppers are?

JANET
I actually do not.

JASON
(completely genuine)
They’re so good! After this, we should totally hang! I know a place that has really good poppers.

JANET
The Buffalo Wild Wings that isn’t above the gas station?

JASON
(lights up)
Yeah! How’d you know?

Janet smiles, clearly smitten. Shawn arrives and the room quiets down.

SHAWN
Alright buttbrains, let's do this.

He sits behind the empty table.

SHAWN
I’m going to call your names. If the screen flashes green, you’re safe for the week. If it flashes red, it’s time to pack up. Let’s begin.

There’s a dramatic pause as the group takes this in.

SHAWN
First . . . Janet.

There’s a long hold on the screen. Then it flashes green. Janet breathes a sigh of relief. After each name is called, each person has a reaction shot of them looking relieved.

SHAWN
Eleanor.

Long pause. Green.

SHAWN
Michael.

Long pause. Green.

SHAWN
Tahani.

Long pause. Green.

SHAWN
Vicky.

Long pause. Red.

VICKY
(enraged)
What?

SHAWN
Please pack up your things.

VICKY
I will not stand for this!

ELEANOR
Is there any way we can get the $19,000 back?

VICKY
Damn it, Eleanor. You are the worst. And you can all suck it.

She storms out, knocking stuff over as she goes. There’s dramatic music as everyone watches her leave and we get different reaction shots. Some (Janet, Tahani, Chidi) are shocked, some (Eleanor, Michael) are eyeing other players warily. The camera lands on Shawn, who looks thrilled.

SHAWN
This was a good first episode.

END of episode one.

Chapter Text

Episode Two

The camera opens on an open field. A man in a suit steps into frame looking very professional.

SHAWN
Hello, idiots. My name is Shawn. Welcome back to Season Three of The Mole. In the last episode, the contestants proved themselves to be bad at physical challenges and academic ones. I have a feeling that I’m going to get tired of repeating that as the series goes on. The current total stands at $2,000. Let’s get started on our next game. Our morons - I mean, contestants -
(beat)
No, I was right the first time. Our morons have been brought to this lake.

CAMERA PANS TO REVEAL:
A large lake. All of the contests are blindfolded (again) and standing on a circle of land. The circle of land has been bisected by a stream in the middle. A log has been placed across the stream, bridging the gap. Shawn steps into frame beside the group.

SHAWN
Remove your blindfolds.

Everyone removes their blindfolds.

ELEANOR
Are you going to blindfold us every time?

SIMONE
Yeah, it does seem a little pointless.

TAHANI
I think it’s thrilling! Once, my good friend Mark Walberg and I went to a restaurant where they bring you your food in pitch black darkness. It was supposed to amplify our other senses and it absolutely did. Granted, I did spill my drink several times.
(realizes everyone’s staring at her)
The blindfolds will sharpen our minds.

SHAWN
Good guess. But no. I just like annoying you.

ELEANOR
I knew it.

Shawn continues explaining the game. Jason still has his blindfold on and is looking around, confused. Janet quietly helps him pull it off.

SHAWN
The goal of this game is to get across the log to the other side.
(dramatic pause)
If you can get past Little Jon and Little Gen.

The camera pans to reveal the approach of two people - a tiny woman in judges robes and a handsome man. As Jon and Gen reach the Mole gang, Jon pulls his shirt off, revealing a chiseled six pack.

ELEANOR
(flirty)
Oh, hello.

SHAWN
You can choose to fight Jon or Gen. However, three people have to fight Jon.

Eleanor immediately raises her hand. Jon glances over at her and she waves.

ELEANOR
Hey, Jon. How’d you get so jacked?

JON
(also flirty)
I live at the gym.

SHAWN
(to Jon, annoyed)
Alright, relax.
(to the group)
So who else is fighting Little Jon?

Simone raises her hand.

SIMONE
Oh, I’d love the opportunity to dunk this dude.

Jon winks at her. Simone narrows her eyes at him. Janet raises her hand as well.

JANET
Why not?

SHAWN
Okay, Eleanor, Simone, and Janet will fight Jon. The rest of you will fight Gen.

Judge Gen waves flirtily at Chidi. Confused and concerned, he tentatively waves back.

SHAWN
Every person who gets to the other side adds another $2,000 to the pot. Eleanor, you’re up.

Jon walks out to the middle of the log. Eleanor approaches the log from the opposite side.

ELEANOR
Just curious, Jon. Were you ever a mailman?

JON
I can be whatever you want me to be.

Simone gags from off-camera. Eleanor gingerly steps onto the log and starts slinking towards Jon (or as slinky as she can be on a wobbly log).

ELEANOR
You know, as much as I love your six-pack, I think it’d look even better glistening with lake water and - WHOA!

Jon waits until Eleanor gets close, then unceremoniously pushes her into the water. The gang watches her splutter as she resurfaces.

ELEANOR
Dude! What the hell!

Jon shrugs, winks, and saunters off. Eleanor wades back to the group. Chidi and Simone help her out of the water.

SIMONE
Don’t worry, I’ll take him down for you.

SHAWN
Okay, who’s up to fight Little Gen?

MICHAEL
(faux humble)
I guess I’ll go.

He and Judge Gen approach the log from opposite sides and climb on.

MICHAEL
(still pulling his “friendly old man” routine)
Now my strength isn’t what it used to be, so go easy, okay? You know, I’m not sure if I feel right about - HEY!

Judge Gen has pushed him off the log. He splashes to the surface, shocked. Eleanor is sitting on the banks with a towel wrapped around her shoulders. She’s unimpressed.

ELEANOR
Come on dude, I just fell for that exact thing.

JUDGE GEN
Good effort though. And by ‘good effort’, I mean ‘absolutely terrible effort’.

Michael makes eye contact with the camera, soaked and glowering.

CUT TO:
An aside shot later from Michael.

MICHAEL
Okay. Screw the kindly old man routine. I’m here to win.

CUT BACK TO:
The lake. Michael is being helped out of the water.

SIMONE
Alright, my turn. Come on, pretty boy! You and me!

As Michael gets his towel from the camera crew, Simone and Little Jon get ready to fight. Simone stays focused and actually gets pretty close to beating him, but he pivots at the last second and uses her sense of balance against her. Little Jon cockily struts off of the log and high-fives the Judge. Simone swims to the bank. Chidi takes her hand and helps her out of the water.

SIMONE
Sorry, guys.

CHIDI
Don’t be. You did great. Better than I would have done!

Simone smiles at him, grateful. Belatedly, they let go of each other’s hands.

JUDGE GEN
(to Little Jon, but in a stage whisper)
Man, it’s hot out. Isn’t it, Jon?

JON
(not getting it)
I guess?

JUDGE GEN
I’d sure love a dip in some nice cool lake water.

JON
(getting it)
Ha, ha, yeah!

JUDGE GEN
Too bad we -

JON
Because we haven’t lost yet.

JUDGE GEN
(exasperated)
Don’t explain the - ugh.

JON
What?

Jason steps forward.

JASON
I’ll fight Little Jon.

SHAWN
Sure.

CAMERAMAN
(off-camera)
But the group already decided on their three -

SHAWN
Shut. Up. Glenn!

Shawn nods for Jason to go. Jason pulls his shirt off, getting an array of surprised and interested looks from the group.

JASON
Let’s GOOOOOOO!

Jason runs at Little Jon and bounces off of him into the water.

ELEANOR
We’re not going to win any money.

SHAWN
(grinning)
I know. Isn’t it hilarious?

Jason bursts from the water.

JASON
That was so fun! I want a rematch!

JANET
I’ll fight for Jason!

Everyone turns to her.

JANET
I mean, I’ll fight.
(beat)
For the group.

Eleanor grins.

ELEANOR
Suuure.

SHAWN
Against Little Jon?

Janet nods.

SHAWN
This should be fun. Go ahead.

Janet and Little Jon square off.

JON
I can’t wait to - WHOA!

As he was preparing to grapple, Janet rushed him, pulled off some complicated moves, and successfully knocked him off the log. Everyone looks surprised (including Shawn). Eleanor jumps to her feet and cheers. Everyone else (minus Shawn, Jon, and the Judge) join in. Janet walks back to the embrace of the group as Jon bitterly swims to the other bank.

JON
(angrily mumbling to himself)
Screw this. I’m going to the gym.

JASON
That was amazing! How did you do that?

JANET
I know a little bit about a lot of things.

JASON
Like knocking people off of logs?

JANET
Like martial arts, yeah.

JASON
That’s awesome!

Janet blushes as Jason goes on and on about how awesome she is.

CUT TO:
A previously shot aside from Janet.

JANET
Jason’s very cute. And he seems a lot smarter than my ex, Derek.

CUT BACK TO:
The lake.

SHAWN
Okay, who’s next?

TAHANI
I can’t possibly follow that, but I guess I’ll try.

Tahani and Judge Gen square off.

JUDGE GEN
Do you know anything about martial arts?

TAHANI
Well, no. But once I helped my friend Margot Robbie prepare for a role where - OH!

Judge Gen knocks her into the water.

CUT TO:
An aside shot later from Tahani.

TAHANI
Why did I agree to do this show?

CUT BACK TO:
The lake. Tahani resurfaces and is assisted back onto the island.

CHIDI
I guess that leaves me.

SIMONE
Go Chidi!

Chidi gives her a thumbs up and gets ready to fight Little Gen.

JUDGE GEN
Saved the best for last, I see. Hey, cutie.

CHIDI
(resigned)
Okay.

He and Judge Gen grapple, but somehow they both end up in the water. They resurface and Chidi starts swimming back to the other side.

JUDGE GEN
Whoo! You were handsome before, but wet? You look like the cover of a romance novel.

CHIDI
Thank you?

JUDGE GEN
If I had to lose to anyone, I’m glad it was you. See you later, sugar.

CHIDI
Probably not.

He climbs onto the banks. Simone helps him up and gets him his towel.

SHAWN
Okay, that last one was a draw, so overall, for this game, you all added $2,000 to the pot. Not the worst you could do. But close.

JUDGE GEN
(from the other bank)
Hey, you guys can buy 1/16th of a house!

ELEANOR
(annoyed)
Alright, alright, next game.

CUT TO:
The next game. The group is sitting in the lobby of their hotel, waiting for Shawn. Eleanor and Jason are playing rock, paper, scissors. Simone and Janet are watching, bemused and entertained. Tahani’s walking around the room, trying to get a signal. Chidi’s trying to talk to Michael about the books he’s been reading lately and Michael’s subtly trying to move closer to the rock, paper, scissors game. Finally, Shawn enters.

SHAWN
Simone, come with me.

SIMONE
You’re not going to explain the game first?

SHAWN
(pretends to think about it)
Hmmm . . . nah.

Shawn leaves. Simone glances back at the group, concerned, before following.

CUT TO:
A green craps table in the courtyard of the hotel. As Simone approaches, Shawn holds up a large die. In his other hand, he has a stack of envelopes.

SHAWN
Here’s the game. You’ll have 2 choices: low roll - choice #1. High roll - choice #2. You can choose whether or not to do it, but at least four of the seven of you need to do the challenge to earn any money. The total amount you can earn at this game is $16,000.

SIMONE
I’m ready.

Shawn offers the envelope in a fan. She picks one and opens it.

SIMONE
‘1, 2, or 3 - dye your hair. 4, 5, or 6 - shave your head.’

She glances over at Shawn, who’s grinning evilly.

SHAWN
You can always back out.

Simone rolls the die. It lands on 4. There’s a long, dramatic, ‘reality tv show’ pause.

SIMONE
I’m out. I’m not shaving my head.

SHAWN
Perfectly understandable. It’s still possible four other people will accept the challenge. But remember: the rest of the group can’t know whether you did your challenge or not.

Simone nods and the pair head back to the lobby.

CUT TO:
The lobby. Eleanor’s now playing rock, paper, scissors with Janet and is livid that Janet keeps winning. Jason’s watching Janet with awe. Michael and Tahani are pretending they aren’t watching the game from a distance. Chidi’s reading one of the books off the shelves. He looks up when Simone and Shawn enter.

SHAWN
Janet, come with me.

As Janet and Shawn leave, Simone goes to sit by Chidi.

CHIDI
Hey. How’d it go?

SIMONE
Not allowed to say.

CHIDI
Okay, I understand.
(jokingly whispers)
Blink twice if it has anything to do with birds of prey.

Simone laughs, then blinks once. Chidi acts relieved.

CUT TO:
The courtyard. Shawn explains the rules again and Janet picks an envelope.

JANET
‘1, 2, or 3 - sing a little of a pop song. 4, 5, or 6 - do public karaoke for an hour.’ Which pop song?

SHAWN
I’ll name it after you roll.

Janet rolls. It’s a 3.

SHAWN
‘Break Free’.
(off Janet’s blank look)
By Ariana Grande.

JANET
I don’t know it. I guess I have to pass. But it’s fine as long as four others do their challenges, right?

SHAWN
(in the evillest tone imaginable)
Yes. Of course.
(beat)
Did that sound evil? I didn’t mean for it to.

JANET
It didn’t.
(side-eyes the camera)

CUT TO:
The lobby. Michael has stopped pretending like he doesn’t want to play and is now playing rock, paper, scissors with Eleanor. Tahani’s watching. Jason’s trying to teach Chidi a dance and it’s going about as well as you’d expect. Shawn and Janet reenter.

SHAWN
Tahani, come with me.

As Tahani and Shawn leave, Jason runs over and grabs Janet’s hand.

JASON
Come help me teach Chidi this dance! He’s almost got it!

CHIDI
I don’t, but thank you.

Blushing, Janet follows him.

CUT TO:
The courtyard. Shawn explains the rules again. Tahani picks an envelope and lets Shawn read it.

TAHANI
(in speech mode, like she’s running for governor)
I have no doubt I’ll complete my challenge. As my good friend Renee Zellweger always says -

SHAWN
‘1, 2, or 3 - wear a sign that says ‘Kamila is the best’, 4 -’

TAHANI
No.

She starts heading out.

SHAWN
Don’t you want to know what the other choice is?

TAHANI
(without looking back)
No thank you!

CUT TO:
The lobby. Janet and Jason are both trying to help Chidi with the dance. He’s doing slightly better with the extra help. Inspired, Eleanor’s trying to teach Michael a secret handshake. Simone’s watching both of these things happening, incredibly amused. Tahani and Shawn reenter.

ELEANOR
That was fast.

TAHANI
Maybe I nailed it. You don’t know.

ELEANOR
Sure.
(mouths to the camera)
No way.

SHAWN
Chidi, come with me.

Chidi looks nervous. Simone reaches out and squeezes his hand. He gives her a smile before following Shawn.

CUT TO:
The courtyard. Shawn explains the rules.

CHIDI
(trying to calm down)
Okay. Great! It’s an academic challenge, so nothing too athletic.
(realization)
Although it could be athletic. It depends on the envelope. If I do it, it’s possible I’ll help the group make some money for the pot, which we need. But if no one else does their challenges, then there’s no point. But if I don’t do it, then I might cost the group money. And if I’m the person that tips the scales and makes it so only three people did their challenges, then it’ll be all my fault! So I have to do it. Don’t I? But it could be anything. What if -

SHAWN
I haven’t even read the choices yet.

He tears open an envelope.

SHAWN
‘1, 2, or 3 - say something en français. 4, 5, or 6 - ‘

Chidi, not listening, is sinking to the floor.

CHIDI
I need to sit down.

SHAWN
(annoyed sigh)
Would you like to pass?

CHIDI
Um, no. Just give me a minute.

The scene cuts to a time lapse of the sun across the sky. The camera shows Shawn looking bored as Chidi paces and talks to himself.

CUT TO:
An aside from Shawn.

SHAWN
For the first time in the history of the show, we had to implement a timer on all decisions solely because of Chidi.

CUT BACK TO:
The courtyard. Chidi is lying on the table, curled up into a ball. It’s now dusk.

SHAWN
Would. You. Like. To. Pass?

CHIDI
Yes please.

CUT TO:
The lobby. Chidi re-enters. Most of the team has gone to bed. The remaining members who haven’t gone with Shawn are wearing pjs and sitting around, looking incredibly bored.

ELEANOR
Dude, where have you been?

SHAWN
Where’s Jason?

MICHAEL
He went to bed. He said to wake him up when you need him.

SHAWN
Ugh, fine. Eleanor, let’s go.

CUT TO:
The courtyard. Shawn explains the rules to Eleanor. He gives her an envelope and she opens it.

ELEANOR
‘1, 2, or 3 - wear a ball and chain for the rest of the day. 4, 5, or 6 - wear a pillory for the rest of the day.’ What’s a pillory?

SHAWN
It’s like a -

ELEANOR
Wait, I don’t even know why I’m asking. I’m not doing it.

SHAWN
Seriously?

ELEANOR
No way! I’m not looking like an idiot for these fools. I don’t owe these jabronis anything. Let four other suckers make us the money.

SHAWN
Okay.

CUT TO:
An aside from Shawn.

SHAWN
(in disbelief)
I couldn’t pay these people to make money.
(thoughtful)
Eleanor would make a good host though. If I ever retire.

CUT TO:
Eleanor and Shawn re-entering the lobby.

ELEANOR
I’ll send Jason down. Don’t take all night, okay?

MICHAEL
What do I look like, Chidi?

Eleanor waves goodbye to Michael and Shawn. Shawn takes Michael to the courtyard.

CUT TO:
The courtyard. Shawn explains the rules. Michael takes the last envelope and opens it.

MICHAEL
‘1, 2, or 3 - cast one leg. 4, 5, or 6 - cast two legs.’

Michael rolls the die. It lands on one.

MICHAEL
Mmm, pass.

SHAWN
Are you sure?

MICHAEL
There’s seven of us. I think we’ll be fine if I skip.

Shawn raises an eyebrow at the camera.

SHAWN
Okay.

CUT TO:
The lobby. Jason’s waiting in his pjs. He high-fives Michael on his way to bed, then follows Shawn.

CUT TO:
The courtyard.

SHAWN
Okay.

Shawn holds up the die.

JASON
Dice! Cool.

He takes the die and rolls it.

JASON
Five! What does that mean?

SHAWN
Okay, that doesn’t count.
(deep sigh)
Here’s the game. You’ll have 2 choices: low roll - choice #1. High roll - choice #2. You can choose whether or not to do it, but at least four of the seven of you need to do the challenge to earn any money.

JASON
Did four of the seven of us do it?

SHAWN
I can’t say. However, because you’re the last to roll, I’m going to offer you a special twist. If you think your team didn’t complete their challenges, you can choose to do four of the six challenges yourself.

Dramatic pause.

CUT TO:
The full team is back in the lobby, looking annoyed.

GLENN
(from off-camera)
Again, I’m very sorry.

MICHAEL
If you needed us to be awake to find out Jason’s results, why even let us go to sleep in the first place?

GLENN
I’m sorry!

ELEANOR
Since Jason’s the last person, can we talk about our challenges now?

No one says anything.

ELEANOR
Fine, I’ll go first. I had to wear a pillory and didn’t do it.

Everyone starts talking about their challenges.

SIMONE
He wanted me to shave my head!

MICHAEL
I was supposed to limp around in a cast all day!

CHIDI
Mine was something about . . . something, I think? I’m not sure. I might have blacked out for a bit.

TAHANI
I had to wear a sign about my sister!

Everyone turns to her.

ELEANOR
And?

TAHANI
Of course I refused. My sister doesn’t need any help with publicity.

ELEANOR
Are you kidding me? I would have done yours over mine! You don’t care about charity! You just care about looking good on camera!

TAHANI
Can you blame me?

The group descends into arguing. Then the front door opens and Jason dramatically enters.

JASON
(singing loudly)
This is! The part when! I say I don’t want ya! I’m stronger than I’ve been before!

JANET
Jason!

ELEANOR
Is he singing Ariana Grande?

FLASHBACK TO:
Jason and Shawn in the courtyard.

SHAWN
If you think your team didn’t complete their challenges, you can choose to do four of the six challenges yourself.

Dramatic pause. Zoom in on Jason’s face. He grins.

JASON
I’ll do all six challenges!

SHAWN
Are you sure?

JASON
Yeah, dawg! Why not?

A montage shows him rolling the die multiple times and getting fitted for a ball and chain, getting his legs put into casts, and getting his hair dyed. It also shows him running all over the city, singing loudly. (Jason being fitted for casts happened after the running, obviously.)

SHAWN
(as Jason runs by)
You know, this isn’t really karaoke.

JASON
(yelling back over his shoulder)
Don’t worry, homie! I do this all the time!

Another scene shows Jason and Shawn standing in the courtyard again.

JASON
(to Shawn; á la Joey from Friends)
A ba blue, ba ba doo. Po pwe monsieur fwee, un few. Bon.

He looks over at Shawn expectantly. Shawn sighs.

SHAWN
(resigned)
We’ll accept that.

JASON
(fistpumps)
Yeah!

FLASHBACK ENDS

Jason wobbles in on his two casts. Everyone rushes towards him excitedly, yelling about his blue hair and his casts. As they help him to a chair, Tahani subtly pulls the ‘Kamila is the best’ sign off of him and chucks it in the trash.

SIMONE
Great job, man!

JASON
Moo-me!

Simone looks confused.

JASON
That’s french for ‘thank you’.

Shawn walks in.

SHAWN
I take it you’ve all put two and two together. Thanks to Jason, $16,000 has been added to the pot.

Everyone cheers.

SHAWN
Alright, that’s enough joy. Time to execute someone.

CUT TO:
Asides.

ELEANOR
Did you hear Tahani? Only the mole would pass on a challenge that easy.

Cut to:

TAHANI
Do we have to take a quiz every time? I thought I’d just have to write someone’s name like Survivor.

Cut to:

JANET
I think Chidi’s suspicious. He’s from Senegal, right? They speak French there.

Cut to:

MICHAEL
(sarcastically, as if the cameraperson just asked the question)
Do I believe that Chidi actually freaked out about his die roll and wasn’t faking it? Let me tell you a story: A couple days ago, we met at the airport and shared a cab over here. I offered to buy him some gum at a gas station. When he saw the shelf of options, he almost passed out. So yeah, I believe it.

He shakes his head.

MICHAEL
So glad I’m not rooming with him. Oh! That reminds me.

He pulls out his phone.

MICHAEL
(texting)
‘Want to talk about predictions after the quiz tonight? PS Shawn thinks he looks so cool in his tux LOL’. Send.

He puts the phone away.

MICHAEL
Janet. She’s my roommate. She’s teaching me text lingo because she’s my BFF.

He grins, happy for the opportunity to use text lingo IRL.

Cut to:

SIMONE
I think I know who the mole is. But I don’t want it to be them. This is hard.

Cut to:

JASON
(with his goofy grin and newly blue hair)
It’s been a good day!

CUT TO:
The deciding grounds. The group is sitting in the main foyer of a mansion. There’s a large screen sitting on an empty table. Shawn arrives and sits behind the table.

SHAWN
Alright, you all know the drill. Green screen equals safe. Red screen means you’re going home.

Dramatic pause.

SHAWN
First . . . Janet.

There’s a long hold on the screen. Then it flashes green. Janet breathes a sigh of relief. After each name is called, each person has a reaction shot of them looking relieved.

SHAWN
Tahani.

Long pause. Green.

SHAWN
Michael.

Long pause. Green.

SHAWN
Eleanor.

Long pause. Green.

SHAWN
Chidi.

Chidi, who’s sitting next to Simone, takes her hand. She squeezes back. The screen flashes green and he sighs.

SHAWN
Simone.

Long pause. Red. She nods, almost unsurprised. She lets go of Chidi’s hand and walks out. She waves goodbye to the group before she exits. The camera follows her as she walks out of the hotel. A limo is waiting for her.

GLENN
(off-camera)
Any last thoughts before you go?

SIMONE
I definitely know who the mole is now.

She gets in the limo and it drives away.

CUT TO:
The deciding grounds. There’s a pause as the group takes this new development in.

SHAWN
Alright. Now we can go to bed.

MICHAEL
Finally!

END of episode two.

Chapter Text

Episode Three

The episode opens with a few asides from the remaining contestants.

ELEANOR
I still think Tahani’s the mole. Come on, her dice challenge was super basic. It’s like she’s trying to be suspicious.

Cut to:

MICHAEL
This time around, I’m going to actively try to be suspicious. Mr. Nice Guy is no longer playing. Or is he? Who knows? Wink.

He winks at the camera.

Cut to:

CHIDI
This game is going to be different without Simone.

He looks away sadly.

CUT TO:
An open field. A man in a suit steps into frame looking very professional.

SHAWN
Hello, dirtbags. My name is Shawn. Welcome back to Season Three of The Mole. By some miracle, the total stands at $22,000. Let’s get started on our next game.

The camera shows the remaining players standing in a group, blindfolded (of course).

SHAWN
Remove your blindfolds.

The group removes their blindfolds, grumbling things like ‘come on, man’ and ‘every time’.

SHAWN
This next game is a relay. Choose what order you’d like to go in.

The group mumbles amongst themselves.

MICHAEL
I should go first.

ELEANOR
Why?

MICHAEL
Why does every outfit you choose to wear scream ‘first grade teacher who is woefully underpaid’, ‘nanny who’s going to teach a spoiled rich child how to be a kid again’, or ‘I’m gay’?

ELEANOR
First of all, bisexual -

CHIDI
(cutting in before this can escalate)
I’ll go after Michael.
(quietly to Eleanor)
I’ll make up for any lost time if he’s slow.

The group continues to debate, eventually landing on the order: Michael, Chidi, Janet, Tahani, Eleanor, Jason.

SHAWN
Great. Now for the twist.

He gestures to the side and the camera pans to reveal a tall garden gnome.

TAHANI
Well, that thing’s horrifying.

JASON
(whispers)
It’s staring right at me.

SHAWN
Each of you will have to carry this gnome from person to person until Jason reaches the finish line. If he doesn’t get to the end for any reason, you all lose. As for the course -

The camera cuts to each location as Shawn describes it.

SHAWN
Michael, you’ll have to run up that staircase and get someone in the pavilion to take a picture of you with the gnome. You’ll hand it to Chidi, who will run to a nearby soccer field, make a goal, and pass it to Janet. Janet has to make her way through a maze of hay bales our team created. Tahani will take it from there. She’ll have to ride a bike down a long stretch of road. At the end of the road will be Eleanor, who will have to find the two girls waiting at the bottom of the hill and play a bit of jump rope with them. Finally, Jason was voted the fastest, so he will take the gnome and run the furthest stretch until he reaches the big blue building at the end of the road. Enter that building in 30 minutes with the mole intact and you double your winnings.

The camera returns to Shawn and the group. The group looks shocked, considering the monumental task before them. Shawn’s grinning evilly.

SHAWN
Everyone ready?
(off their stunned silence)
Great! Everyone but Michael, the crew will walk you to where you’ll need to stand and wait for the next person.

The group (sans Michael) starts to leave with the rest of the crew.

SHAWN
In the meantime, Michael -
(he gestures to the tub next to the gnome, which is full of lard)
Grease your mole.

Everyone freezes and stares at him.

MICHAEL
I’m sorry?

Shawn’s evil grin gets even more gleeful.

SHAWN
Oh, did I not mention that part?

ELEANOR
Dude, relax with the grin. You look like the grinch right before he invades Whoville.

Shawn’s face immediately drops back into his usual look of annoyance.

SHAWN
Grease the gnome, Michael.

Michael goes to grease the gnome as everyone else goes to their places. He looks disgusted.

CUT TO:
Aside from Michael.

MICHAEL
(at a loss for words)
What is this game?

CUT BACK TO:
Michael and his greasy gnome. Shawn walks over.

SHAWN
Everyone’s in their positions. Are you ready?

Michael picks up the gnome. It almost slips out of his grasp, but he grabs it at the last second. He grapples with it for a minute before he finally gets a handle on it.

MICHAEL
Never been more ready for anything in my life.

SHAWN
(sarcastically)
I can see that. Go!

Michael rushes off. He sprints up the staircase, juggling the gnome. There are a few close calls, but he successfully makes it to the top. Groups of people are milling about in the pavilion. Michael runs up to one of them.

MICHAEL
Excuse me, sir. Could you please take a picture of -

The man turns around and Michael is taken aback.

MICHAEL
Are - are you Doug Forcett?

DOUG
(smiles humbly)
Uh, yeah. That’s me.

CUT TO:
Aside from Michael.

MICHAEL
I met Doug Forcett! THE Doug Forcett! What are the odds?

CUT BACK TO:
The pavilion. Michael is as giddy as a school girl.

MICHAEL
I can’t believe it’s really you! You’re a local celebrity where I’m from.

DOUG
Oh really?

MICHAEL
You designed the architectural platform that redefined what architecture could be.

DOUG
Aww, thanks!

Michael continues to go on about how he wrote his thesis on Doug’s work. The camera pans to show Chidi, waiting by his bucket of lard a few dozen feet away, but facing in the other direction.

MICHAEL
Would you sign -

Michael looks down and suddenly seems to realize he’s holding a garden gnome (and more importantly, wasting time during a relay).

MICHAEL
Oh shoot! Could you take a picture of us please?

DOUG
(pretending to be unfazed by the gnome)
Sure.

Michael takes the polaroid camera offered by the cameraman and takes a selfie with Doug and the gnome. He’s pointing at Doug in the picture with a “can you believe it?” expression.

MICHAEL
Thank you! Thank you so much!

He runs off and hands the gnome to Chidi. Chidi greases the gnome and runs off to the soccer field. It takes a few tries, but he successfully kicks the ball into the goal. The children on the field cheer as he runs off, almost dropping the gnome. He passes it off to Janet, who greases the gnome and fearlessly runs into the maze of hay bales. The bales are stacked above her height and she weaves through the maze, holding onto the gnome for dear life. Finally, after a few wrong turns, she makes it out and passes the gnome to Tahani, who looks less than thrilled. Tahani greases the gnome.

TAHANI
(quietly, to herself)
Gross gross gross gross gross!

Janet, in an effort to help, has grabbed the bike and is holding it up for Tahani. Tahani puts the gnome in the basket and climbs on. A little wobbly at first, she finally finds her balance. Unfortunately, right before she reaches Eleanor, she hits a rock and the gnome goes flying out of the basket. Tahani tries to grab it, but it slips out of her hands. The gnome hits the ground and shatters.

ELEANOR
Way to go, Tahani.

TAHANI
I had to bike with a greasy garden ornament! Don’t judge me! That was worse than the time Nicholas Cage was going through his spray tan phase and made all of his friends -

ELEANOR
Don’t start! I don’t want to hear another dumb story about your dumb celebrity friends that goes nowhere.

Shawn arrives. He’s pretending to be sad, but he’s not trying very hard.

SHAWN
Aww. Almost! Well, you’ll get ‘em next time. Right, guys?

Janet runs up, having seen what happened.

JANET
Tahani, are you okay?

TAHANI
I’m alright. I’m sorry I broke the gnome.

ELEANOR
(pretending to be cool)
It’s fine, it’s fine.

CUT TO:
Aside from Eleanor.

ELEANOR
(directly to the camera)
Mole.

CUT BACK TO:
The road. Shawn picks up a piece of the gnome.

SHAWN
Don’t get too down on yourself just yet, Tahani. There’s another twist to this game. I want to make you a special offer. In this game, getting the gnome to the finish line would double your prize money. However, I’m going to offer that extra $22,000 directly to you.

ELEANOR
Why?

SHAWN
Why does every outfit you choose to wear scream ‘I buy my clothes exclusively from Goodwill’, ‘I just learned what ‘preppy nerd chic’ means’, or ‘I’m gay’?

ELEANOR
Bi. Sex. U. Al.

SHAWN
(refocusing on Tahani)
If you accept this offer, the $22,000 will go directly out of the group pot and into your bank account if you win the overall game.

Dramatic, reality tv show pause.

TAHANI
I accept.

Eleanor side-eyes the camera.

CUT TO:
Aside from Tahani.

TAHANI
I want to redeem myself for the abhorrent way I acted during the dice game. I want to prove I’m here to win as much money for my charity as possible.

CUT TO:
Aside from Eleanor.

ELEANOR
It’s like she’s trying to be as suspicious as possible!

CUT BACK TO:
The road.

SHAWN
Alright, let’s regroup and get ready for the next game.

JANET
Wait, what about cutiepie? I mean, Jason?

SHAWN
Ugh, fine.

CUT TO:
The big blue building at the end of the road. Jason’s not there. The rest of the group is standing outside, looking confused.

CHIDI
Where is he?

ELEANOR
I have a pretty good guess.

She gestures to the building next door. It’s an arcade.

CUT TO:
The arcade. The group enters and sees Jason playing DDR with another guy. A third guy is watching them play. Jason’s really good. He spots the group and brightens.

JASON
Hey guys! Did we win?

GUY PLAYING WITH JASON
Focus! We’re almost past your high score!

Jason refocuses and the group watches until the song finally ends. Jason and the other guy high-five. The other guy notices Tahani.

GUY PLAYING WITH JASON
Wait, are you -

TAHANI
(resigned)
Kamila’s sister? Yes, that’s me -

GUY PLAYING WITH JASON
No! Hold on.

Tahani brightens as he gets out his phone, excited she might be getting recognized as something other than Kamila’s sister. He turns the phone to face her and her smile drops.

GUY PLAYING WITH JASON
You’re Biking Gnome girl!

A picture on his phone shows Tahani on the bike, mid-wobble with the gnome in the basket.

TAHANI
It has been twenty seconds! How is that already online? And why am I Gnome Girl? Multiple people carried that thing.

GUY PLAYING WITH JASON
Girl, don’t question the internet. Just be grateful it decided to shine down on you.
(he offers his hand like a princess)
I’m John. It’s an honor, I know.

Before Tahani can figure out how to take his hand, the other guy who had been watching John and Jason cuts in.

OTHER GUY
And I’m the guy who’s about to beat both of your high scores. Move.

As he pushes past, John rolls his eyes.

CUT TO:
Aside from John, clearly taken a few moments later in the same arcade.

JOHN
I don’t even know why I hang out with Brent. He’s so -

Shawn walks into frame and realizes what’s going on.

SHAWN
What are you doing? You can’t film an aside! Get out of here!

CUT BACK TO:
Jason doing DDR with Brent. The rest of the group is still watching, mostly bored, some (Janet) with open interest.

MICHAEL
Very suspicious how he wasn’t waiting where he was supposed to be, right?

JANET
(distracted)
I guess. He is cute though.

MICHAEL
What?

JANET
What?

CUT TO:
The next game. It’s nighttime. The group is in pjs. They’re standing on the edge of a large and wide manmade hole. The hole contains a large mechanical crane and a blazing fire. The crane is dangling a large bag over the fire. Shawn is in his usual suit and tie and he looks gleeful.

ELEANOR
I’m not excited about this game, man. You look happy. That’s always bad for us.

SHAWN
This is my favorite game.

TAHANI
Oh no.

SHAWN
This game is called Burn Baby Burn. I named this one myself because I love it so much. Each of you is going to be asked one question about another member of the group. If you get it right, the bag -

He gestures to the bag hanging over the fire.

SHAWN
-will stay where it is. You’ll also earn $5,000 for each correct answer. But if you answer your question incorrectly, the bag will lower. If, by the end of the game, there have been six wrong answers, you can say goodbye to what’s in there.

ELEANOR
And what is in there?

TAHANI
(squinting up at the bag)
Correct me if I’m wrong: is that our luggage?

The camera zooms in to reveal the large bag is holding all of their belongings.

CHIDI
This is a joke, right? You’re joking?

SHAWN
(deadpan)
Of course it’s real. Can’t you tell from my joyous expression? I’m basically squealing like a birthday girl.

TAHANI
I’m going to need you to bring those bags down at once. My friends Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana would be livid if they knew about this.

CHIDI
And there is a very rare third edition copy of Hobbes’ Kingdom of Light in there that will not react well to flames.

ELEANOR
None of it is going to react well to flames, dude. That’s the whole point.

SHAWN
You’ll answer the questions in the order you’re standing in. So, Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani, Michael, Janet, and Jason. Everyone good?
(doesn’t wait for an answer)
Great. Question one: Eleanor. What country is Chidi from?

ELEANOR
(long pause)
Is it racist if I say Africa?

CHIDI
Yes. And Africa is not a country. I’m from Senegal.

The bag slowly lowers closer to the fire. Everyone watches with mounting terror (except for Jason, who seems kind of pumped).

SHAWN
Chidi. What school did Tahani attend as a child?

CHIDI
How could I possibly know that?

SHAWN
It’s been four weeks.
(grins at the camera)
I love this game.

He gestures to the crane and it lowers the bag a little more.

TAHANI
It was the Hertfordshire Academy for Expressionless Girls, in case you were wondering.

CHIDI
Sorry.

TAHANI
(waves him off)
No, no, I understand.

SHAWN
(gleeful)
Oh, you will. Tahani, what is Michael’s favorite tv show?

TAHANI
(hopeful)
A reality show?

SHAWN
Wrong. Cheers.

MICHAEL
I find the lead to be disarmingly charming and unassumingly handsome.

The crane lowers a little more. The fire seems to crackle louder with each lowering. Everyone (but Jason) looks extremely stressed. Shawn is loving this.

SHAWN
Michael, what was Janet named for?

MICHAEL
Oh! Janet Jetson!

ELEANOR
Dude, how old do you think she is?

JASON
(to Michael)
How old are you?

JANET
(resigned)
I was named for the air service that takes people to area 51. “Just Another Non-Existent Terminal.”

Everyone looks at her, surprised.

JANET
(shrugs)
My parents are really into conspiracy stuff.

SHAWN
Crane!

The crane drops the bag a little more. A few members of the group gasp as the flames lick the bottom of the bag.

SHAWN
Janet, what high school did Jason go to?

JANET
(clearly guessing)
He didn’t?

SHAWN
Excellent guess! But no. He went to Lynyrd Skynyrd High School in Northeast Jacksonville.

JASON
Which was really a bunch of tugboats tied together.

ELEANOR
(quietly)
Well, that backstory was exactly as tragic as I assumed it would be.

SHAWN
And finally, Jason. Jason, what is Eleanor’s star sign?

Eleanor seems to look more relieved.

CUT TO:
An aside from Eleanor.

ELEANOR
Jason totally knows my star sign. We talked about it before when we were taking quizzes in Teen Vogue.
(beat)
What? We share a room, we have a ton of downtime, and neither of us brought much to read.

CUT BACK TO:
The crane and the fire. There’s a dramatic pause.

JASON
Taurus?

Eleanor looks shocked and appalled.

CUT TO:
Eleanor’s aside.

ELEANOR
(genuinely offended)
I’m a Cancer! If I were a Taurus, Teen Vogue would have married me off to Chris Pine and not Aquaman. He knows that!

CUT TO:
Aside from Jason.

JASON
On the one hand, I want to win. But on the other hand, this will be the biggest fire I’ve ever seen!
(he shrugs)
It was an obvious choice.

CUT BACK TO:
The crane and the fire. The group are expressing all kinds of emotions, from livid to heartbroken to resigned. Jason’s trying to pretend he’s not super excited. Shawn is openly thrilled.

SHAWN
You all know what’s coming. I hope you’re enjoying what you’re currently wearing. Crane!

The crane drops the bag and the fire roars as it devours the load. The group watches, the light of the fire flickering on their faces. Shawn’s evil grin in the firelight makes him look maniacal.

SHAWN
Execution time.

CUT TO:
Asides.

ELEANOR
It’s Tahani. Come on! She broke the gnome.
(fake British accent)
Oh hellooo! I’m Tahani Ploopington and Sad Girls Academy didn’t include bike riding in their curriculum. I was too busy learning Name Dropping 101 and The Right Way To Wear A Sash!
(regular accent)
Please.

Cut to:

TAHANI
It has to be Jason. He burned our bags! Not to mention his incredible, but inappropriately timed dance moves. He could have cost us the first game today!
(suddenly realizing)
You know. If I hadn’t dropped the gnome.

Cut to:

JANET
Jason’s butt - I mean, Jason is innocent! I just know it. I know it in my heart.

Cut to:

CHIDI
I hate to point fingers, but . . . during the gnome game, Michael took up a lot of our time with that stranger. I was too far away to really see what was going on, so I didn’t realize he was taking up time because he got distracted. I figured he was just slow.

Cut to:

MICHAEL
I know I said I was going to be suspicious on purpose, but I genuinely forgot all about that. I’m just a huge Doug Forcett fan, what can I say?

Cut to:

ELEANOR
I have to admit it though - it was suspicious of Jason to forget my star sign.
(whispers)
But I still think it was Tahani.

Cut to:

JASON
(still excited about the fire)
That was awesome! I’m sorry everyone lost their stuff though. But you know what they say in Jacksonville: ‘In order to create a fire, you have to lose a few belongings’.”

He nods sagely.

CUT TO:
The deciding grounds. The group is sitting in the main foyer of a mansion. There’s a large screen sitting on an empty table. Shawn hasn’t arrived yet. Eleanor approaches Chidi.

ELEANOR
Hey, man. I’m sorry I got your country wrong.

CHIDI
Don’t worry about it. That game was made by sadists.

ELEANOR
It is Sen . . . sodyne, right?

CHIDI
That’s a toothpaste. It’s Senegal.

ELEANOR
Right.

CHIDI
And you’re from Arizona.

ELEANOR
Mind if I sit?

Chidi shakes his head no and she takes the chair beside him. Janet and Jason are already sitting together, chatting quietly. Shawn enters.

SHAWN
Alright, let’s do this. You don’t need me to explain it again, right?

The group offers ‘eh’s and ‘nah, dude’s.

SHAWN
Great. First . . . Michael.

Dramatic pause. Green.

SHAWN
Eleanor.

Eleanor tries to pretend she’s not nervous. There’s a dramatic pause. Green. She exhales in relief.

SHAWN
Chidi.

He’s openly worried. Dramatic pause. Green. He smiles, relieved. Eleanor squeezes his arm.

SHAWN
Janet.

Dramatic pause. Green.

SHAWN
Tahani.

Dramatic pause. Red. Tahani straightens up, surprised. She almost seems like she’s about to argue, but takes a breath and decides against it. She stands regally and exits the room.

CUT TO:
Aside from Tahani. She’s somewhere dark.

TAHANI
I can’t believe I was eliminated. I would like to personally apologize to everyone who -

The door behind her opens and Shawn enters. It’s now clear she’s hiding in a closet with one of the cameras.

SHAWN
What are you doing here? I thought you left already. Wait, did you steal that camera? No more asides! Go home!

CUT BACK TO:
The group. Everyone’s sitting quietly, processing Tahani’s execution. Eleanor seems bitter.

ELEANOR
This is garbage.

She pulls out her journal and opens the first page. It says “Tahani is the mole. Evidence:’ and the rest is blank. She starts crossing it out.

END of episode three.

Chapter Text

Episode Four

The episode opens with a few asides from the remaining contestants.

Cut to:

CHIDI
(in happy disbelief)
I can’t believe there are so few of us left. I think we all have a pretty good chance of winning.

Cut to:

MICHAEL
(in unhappy disbelief)
Jason could win this thing. Jason!

Cut to:

JASON
I’m still here, baby! WHOO! Jaguars rule! Oh and Pillboi, I have a new plan to get you on the show. We’ll need two business suits, a giant safe -

Cut to:

ELEANOR
I’m genuinely shocked the mole wasn’t Tahani. I could have sworn it was her.

CAMERAMAN
(off-camera)
Who do you think it is now?

ELEANOR
I’ve narrowed it down to four.

CAMERAMAN
But there are only five players left.

ELEANOR
And I know for sure it’s not me! I - it’s just - Shut up, Glenn!

CUT TO:
A man in a suit stepping into frame.

SHAWN
Hello, trashbags. My name is Shawn. Welcome back to Season Three of The Mole. The current total stands at $22,000. In case you were wondering, yes, that is the same amount we started with last week. That’s because they failed utterly at making money last time. It was hilarious. I’m sure clips are online. Definitely look those up when you have a chance. For now, let’s find out if the group will make any money this time around.

Straightfaced, he stares at the camera and shakes his head.

CUT TO:
The group (blindfolded) standing in front of a large greenhouse. They’re all wearing shirts that say “I lost my belongings in the ‘Burn Baby Burn game’. They remove their blindfolds when they hear a car arriving. The car stops in front of them and Shawn steps out.

SHAWN
Good morning!

JASON
Morning!

ELEANOR
(suspicious)
You’re cheery. That means this game is going to be extra awful, right?

SHAWN
We’ll see. Today, you all have the option of earning $20,000.

Everyone looks unexcited, considering how little they’ve earned over the course of the show.

SHAWN
In order to do this, you’ll need to get my car inside that greenhouse. The greenhouse has sliding doors. One of the doors is locked and the open door is not wide enough for the car to get through. You’re not allowed to damage the doors or the building. All the tools you’ll need to disassemble and reassemble the car are right here.

He gestures to three open tool kits on the ground outside the greenhouse.

SHAWN
I’ll be back in three hours. The car will need to be inside the greenhouse and be able to start.

ELEANOR
Did you say $20,000 for this game?

SHAWN
That’s correct.

ELEANOR
How much could we have earned by now if we’d won every game?

Shawn lets out an evil giggle that startles all of them.

SHAWN
I can’t believe I’d never thought to ask. I’ll check and let you know when I come back. See you all in three hours. Mmmmm, bye bitch!

Shawn leaves.

CHIDI
Why would you ask him that? That giggle is going to be in my nightmares now.

ELEANOR
Because a distracted Shawn is the best kind of Shawn. Don’t worry, egghead. I have a plan.

CHIDI
(annoyed)
Okay, fine. What’s the plan . . . nerd?

Eleanor stops short and holds back a grin.

ELEANOR
I know you’re trying to insult me. But for an insult to work, it has to actually fit. But nice try.

CHIDI
Fine. What’s the plan -

ELEANOR
(teasingly)
Careful.

CHIDI
. . . short . . . person?

ELEANOR
(grins)
Not bad. I’ll explain on the way. But I’ll definitely need your help. And yours.
(she points at Michael)
And yours.
(she points at the camera)

CAMERAMAN
Mine?

Eleanor nods. She grabs Chidi’s hand and leads him and Michael (and Glenn) away from the group. Chidi seems surprised at the sudden contact.

JASON
What should we do?

ELEANOR
Get the car inside the greenhouse. Or don’t. Honestly, you two can just make out for three hours for all I care.

Jason looks at Janet, confused. She starts laughing nervously.

JANET
Us? That’s crazy. I mean, I don’t even -

Jason shrugs.

JASON
I’m down.

JANET
I’m sorry?

JASON
You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.

JANET
(in awe; quietly)
Not a girl.

JASON
And I don’t know anything about cars.

CUT TO:
Aside from Janet.

JANET
I know a ton about cars.
(she grins)
And a ton about when to keep my mouth shut.

CUT TO:
Shawn returning after three hours. He’s sporting an evil grin. The greenhouse doors are fully open.

SHAWN
Well, well, well. It looks like you all figured out the code. It was 12358 aka the beginning of the Fibonacci sequence. This was foreshadowed with a clue that -

He enters the greenhouse and screams. His car (not the car he drove at the beginning, but his personal car) is lying in pieces on the ground. The rest of the group is standing beside it, smugly. (Janet and Jason are holding hands.)

ELEANOR
Looks like we couldn’t put the car back together. Oh well.

CAMERAMAN
(from off-camera; badly acted)
Oh my! How could this have happened? I can’t believe it!

SHAWN
(quietly livid)
How.

ELEANOR
While you were distracted, eagerly looking for more information to torture us with, I -

CHIDI
We.

Eleanor smiles at him warmly.

ELEANOR
We.

MICHAEL
Mostly Eleanor.

Chidi and Eleanor look at him.

MICHAEL
(back-pedaling)
But yes, we. Sure.

ELEANOR
Anyway, we found your car, drove it back here, and took it apart. This was a fun game! Thanks, man!

JASON
Yeah!

He and Eleanor high-five. Janet blushes.

SHAWN
But. How.

ELEANOR
Sorry. Sworn to secrecy. I can say that I’m much happier not making $20,000 when I can use that loss to make your life harder.

SHAWN
Oh, so you think the total stays at what it was originally?

ELEANOR
(wary)
Um . . . yes? Aren’t those the rules?

SHAWN
And do you know who makes the rules?

ELEANOR
Some high-up executive who tells you what to do.

Shawn glares at her, but his silence implies ‘yes’.

SHAWN
Fine. Because you all lost the challenge, you don’t earn $20,000. Instead, you lose $20,000.

The group all reacts with anger and disbelief.

JANET
You can’t do that!

SHAWN
(to Glenn)
Can we do that?

CAMERAMAN
Uhhhhh . . .

SHAWN
I’m doing it.

MICHAEL
Thanks, Glenn.

CAMERAMAN
I’m not allowed to take sides!

SHAWN
The pot is now at $2,000. I’ll see you all tonight.

He storms off. Everyone looks at Eleanor.

ELEANOR
(trying to play it off)
If Tahani could see us now, right?
(beat)
Tough crowd.

CUT TO:
Hours later. The group is gathered in another classroom for the second game. They aren’t even blindfolded. A small television set is sitting on the teacher’s desk. Shawn enters the room.

SHAWN
In case any of you were concerned, my car has been successfully reassembled.

MICHAEL
We were not.

SHAWN
(moving right along)
While I was waiting for the repairs to be completed, I spent a lot of time working on the next game.
(evil grin)

CHIDI
Oh no.

SHAWN
I’ll need you to break into two groups.

Chidi takes Eleanor’s hand. She looks surprised, then pleased. Jason and Janet immediately grab each other’s hands. Michael notes both of these things.

MICHAEL
(dryly)
What about three groups?

SHAWN
No. Jason, Janet, and Michael, come with me. Chidi and Eleanor, stay there.

Shawn leads Jason, Janet, and Michael through multiple long and winding hallways and up several staircases. Jason and Janet are still holding hands. Michael is doing his best to ignore this. They finally reach a room that contains a desk with a computer and assorted papers/post-its, a lockbox, and a cd player. A framed document is hanging on one of the walls. Michael walks up to the desk and picks up one of the papers.

MICHAEL
What’s ‘decimal code’?

The paper has a chart explaining how to decode something using decimal code.

SHAWN
You have thirty minutes. Good luck.

He disappears through the door they just entered. Jason tries to follow him, but the door is locked. He looks around, but there isn’t another exit. There’s a keypad next to the door and he starts pressing random numbers. The keypad beeps angrily.

JASON
Hey, does anybody know Shawn’s birthday?

JANET
Okay, an escape room. We can solve this.

MICHAEL
After what we did to Shawn’s car, I definitely expected worse. There has to be more to this. Maybe the walls are going to start closing in on us.

Jason walks over to the cd player and turns it on. The machine starts playing audio of a person speaking in gibberish. He listens to it for a moment.

JASON
I’m not one to hate on someone’s music taste. But this is bad.

He starts clicking through the songs, but it’s more gibberish.

JASON
Come on! No EDM?

Michael sits down at the computer and Janet walks over to the framed document.

JANET
It’s the Declaration of Independence.

She carefully removes it from its hook and examines it. There’s a post-it note on the back.

JANET
Guys! It says ‘Lockbox Code’!

JASON
Oh!

He pauses the cd player, then moves to the lockbox and enters a code. The box pops open.

MICHAEL
How did you do that?

JASON
I figured it was 1776.

MICHAEL
(still baffled)
And why did you figure that?

JASON
It’s the Declaration of Independence. What else would it be? . . . I know some things, man. Jeez.

JANET
(starstruck)
He’s a genius.

Michael goes back to typing at the computer. Janet joins Jason at the lockbox and pulls out the post-it inside.

JANET
It says ‘reverse’.

Jason turns around.

JANET
No, I think it means the songs.

They look down at the cd player, which is paused on song 30. Jason starts clicking through the songs again, but the number just keeps going up.

JASON
Which song?

MICHAEL
Track 77.

Jason and Janet turn to him. He’s looking smug.

JANET
How do you know that?

MICHAEL
The only thing on the computer was this.

He turns the screen to face them. There’s an open Word document with a bunch of numbers.

MICHAEL
I transferred the numbers to letters and got ‘play track 77’.

JANET
Whoa. Great job!

Jason high-fives Michael.

CUT TO:
Aside from Michael. He points to himself.

MICHAEL
Not just a pretty face.

CUT BACK TO:
The escape room. Jason clicks ahead to the 77th track while Janet finds an app that will record and reverse audio. He plays the track and she records it.

JANET
Okay, let’s see if this works.

She presses ‘reverse’.

AUDIO
0001. 0100. 0110.

The audio continues. Michael grabs a pen and one of the post-it pads and starts writing it down. Janet grabs the ‘decimal decoder’ sheet. When the audio finishes, they start decoding. Jason’s grinning, looking between them.

CUT TO:
Aside from Jason.

JASON
I didn’t know what was going on for most of that game. But it was still fun to be included.

CUT BACK TO:
The escape room. They’ve decoded the audio into a new number sequence.

MICHAEL
Is that - will that work on the keypad?

JANET
It can’t be that easy.

While she goes to the door, Jason looks at the camera and mouths ‘easy?’ Janet inputs the code and the keypad lights up green. She opens the door and looks back at the other two in surprise.

MICHAEL
We did it!

The group celebrates. Jason gives Janet a kiss on the cheek and she takes his hand. Michael rolls his eyes, but seems less annoyed by them than usual. The trio walk out of the room where Shawn is waiting.

SHAWN
You’re out! With
(he checks his watch)
19 minutes to spare. Great job. You’ve earned $20,000 for the team.

He turns on his heel and starts walking back down the hall. The group eyes each other warily. Janet takes Jason’s hand and they all follow Shawn back through the winding hallways and down the staircases. Finally, they reach the classroom. Eleanor and Chidi have moved their desks closer together and are talking quietly. Eleanor looks up when they enter.

ELEANOR
That was fast.

SHAWN
Eleanor and Chidi, come with me. The rest of you, please stay here.

Shawn leads Eleanor and Chidi out the door. Once they're far enough away, Michael turns to the other two.

MICHAEL
Is he going to kill us?

JANET
I know, right? Why is he being so calm?

JASON
Man, this reminds me of the time I was hanging out with my boy Donkey Doug -

MICHAEL
Not another story, please.

JASON
(oblivious)
And I pranked him so good! But then he told me he was going to get me back. I was watching my back for days. But the prank never came.
(sagely)
Sometimes, that’s the greatest prank of all.
(beat)
Or he might have just forgotten.

JANET
You think Shawn’s getting us back by not getting us back?

MICHAEL
Honestly, that’s not the worst idea I’ve ever heard.

Janet takes Jason’s hand.

JANET
It’s a great idea.

Shawn returns.

SHAWN
Hello, idiots. I thought you might be interested to see how your friends are doing at solving the puzzles.

He walks over to the television set on the teacher’s desk. The video that plays is a live feed from the escape room. They can see Chidi and Eleanor working through the puzzles, but there isn’t any audio.

CUT TO:
The escape room. Chidi’s clicking through the cd player, while Eleanor is leafing through the papers on the desk.

ELEANOR
Decimal code? Are you kidding me? I know Shawn said 30 minutes, but if we don’t get close in 5, I’m gonna start throwing things.

CHIDI
Please don’t start throwing things.

ELEANOR
Don’t knock it, dude. This is how escape rooms work. If you break enough stuff, they open the door and kick you out.

She walks over to the wall and looks at the framed document.

ELEANOR
(gasps)
The Declaration of Independence!

She yanks it off the wall and laughs when she sees the back.

ELEANOR
I knew it!

CHIDI
How did you know there would be something on the back?

ELEANOR
Come on, man. You’ve never seen National Treasure?
(quietly, to herself)
Although, let’s be honest, Nic Cage is the real national treasure.

CHIDI
What does the note say?

ELEANOR
Oh! ‘Lockbox Code’.

CUT TO:
The other classroom. The muted tv shows Eleanor and Chidi opening the lockbox.

JANET
They’re solving it!

Shawn clicks his tongue.

SHAWN
They are. Such a shame.

He realizes the three remaining contestants are looking at him in confusion.

SHAWN
If you three solve the puzzle, the group gets $20,000. If they solve it, the group loses $20,000.

He grins evilly as the group starts to panic.

SHAWN
(gestures to the door)
Feel free to go and warn them. If you can find the classroom.

JANET
(slow realization)
That’s why you led us down so many hallways.

MICHAEL
Why didn’t you tell us that in the first place?

SHAWN
Well, I originally thought about including that detail from the beginning. But then I remembered . . . I’m a naughty bitch.

JASON
Shawn, you used to be cool. But you’ve changed, man.

Silence.

MICHAEL
So which one of us should go warn Chidi and Eleanor?

JASON
I should go. Janet’s in heels and you’re one hundred. No offense, dude.

MICHAEL
Full offense taken.

JASON
Before I go though . . . it’s hero speech time.

He takes both of Janet’s hands and looks into her eyes.

JASON
Janet, I’m going to find Chidi and Eleanor and save the group $20,000.

JANET
(confused about why he’s explaining this)
Okay?

JASON
I’m going to be as fast as I possibly can.

JANET
Good.

JASON
But know that I’ll miss you the entire time I’m gone.

JANET
Aww! That’s so sweet.

They kiss dramatically. Jason turns.

JASON
Michael - where’d he go?

SHAWN
He left while you were making your hero speech.

JASON
Aww, man!

Janet and Jason sit in the classroom chairs and watch Eleanor and Chidi work through the puzzles.

CUT TO:
Michael racing through the hallways. The camera is following him shakily.

MICHAEL
Okay, a left down this hallway. Then a right here. Then another right?

He stops. Glenn can be heard panting off-camera.

MICHAEL
Yes! Definitely a right.

He continues racing down the hallway. Finally, he reaches a door and tries to open it. It’s locked. He bangs on it.

MICHAEL
Chidi? Eleanor?

A pause.

ELEANOR
Michael?

MICHAEL
Eleanor!! Don’t solve the puzzle! Stop solving!

CHIDI
What?

MICHAEL
Shawn said if you solve the puzzle, it will lose us money.

There’s a pause.

CHIDI
How do we know you’re not lying?

MICHAEL
What?

CHIDI
I mean, you could be the mole. No offense.

MICHAEL
Why does everyone keep saying that? Full offense!

CUT TO:
The other classroom. The muted tv shows that Eleanor and Chidi have stopped working, but Michael isn’t visible on screen because he’s outside the room.

JASON
Did he make it?

JANET
I can’t tell.

Shawn is watching gleefully.

CUT BACK TO:
The escape room. Chidi and Eleanor are still debating.

CHIDI
What if Shawn offered you money directly to convince us to stop?

ELEANOR
Chidi’s right, he does do that.

MICHAEL
(annoyed)
I can’t believe this. Just stop working for the next
(he checks his watch)
20 minutes and the group will get $20,000!

ELEANOR
And how much will you get, Mole?
(to Chidi)
What do you think the ‘reverse’ post-it means?

Michael bangs on the door.

MICHAEL
Stop it!

CHIDI
(ignoring him)
It’s probably something to do with the cd player.

CUT TO:
20 minutes later. The group now sits in the other classroom. Chidi and Eleanor look smug. Janet and Jason look sad. Michael looks livid. Shawn is, of course, having a great time.

SHAWN
So. Chidi and Eleanor successfully solved the puzzle and escaped the room, despite Michael’s interference.

They high-five.

SHAWN
Because of this, $20,000 will be taken from the group’s pot.

ELEANOR
What?

CHIDI
Why?

SHAWN
Michael, Janet, and Jason also escaped the room and earned $20,000. I told them if you solved the puzzles as well, the same amount would be deducted.

CHIDI
(to Michael)
I’m so sorry. This game has made me so paranoid.

MICHAEL
I can’t believe I ran for nothing.

JASON
It’s not good for his knees. He’s one hundred!

MICHAEL
No, I’m not! Stop telling people that!

SHAWN
So, in conclusion, $0 was earned this episode and you all are utter failures.
(grins)
Time for the execution.

CUT TO:
Asides.

CHIDI
I kind of thought this would get easier the less people there were. But it’s still really hard.

Cut to:

MICHAEL
Eleanor. 100%. She cost us $20,000. Twice.

Cut to:

ELEANOR
Maybe Jason? It’s possible the dumb thing has been an act.

GLENN
(off-camera)
Is there anything else you want to talk about?

ELEANOR
I’m sorry?

GLENN
Like maybe how much money you cost the group -

She glares at the camera until Glenn trails off.

ELEANOR
Anyway, I think it might be Jason.

Cut to:

JANET
(spacing out, clearly thinking about Jason)
I’m sorry, what was the question?

Cut to:

JASON
Janet’s cute, right? She’s so pretty, like Nala from The Lion King. And she talks so smart, like, um . . . Nala from the Lion King.

GLENN
(off-camera)
Sure. So about the mole.

JASON
Oh right. I’m having a good time!

GLENN
No, not the show. The - never mind.

CUT TO:
The deciding grounds. The group is sitting in the main foyer of a mansion. There’s a large screen sitting on an empty table. Jason and Janet are holding hands. She has her head on his shoulder. Michael is sitting away from Eleanor and Chidi, glaring at them pointedly. Chidi looks guilty, but Eleanor is doing her best to ignore them both. Shawn enters the room.

SHAWN
Okay, here we go again.

He goes to sit behind the desk.

SHAWN
Michael.

Dramatic pause. Green.

SHAWN
Eleanor.

Dramatic pause. Green.

MICHAEL
Boo!

Eleanor turns to face him, but he looks away innocently.

SHAWN
Janet.

Dramatic pause. Green.

SHAWN
Jason.

Dramatic pause. Red. Janet looks crestfallen.

JASON
Bummer. Before I go -

He pulls a necklace out of his pocket and offers it to Janet.

JANET
Where did you get that?

JASON
I won it at the arcade. I saw it and thought of you.

It’s gaudy, shiny, and ridiculous. Definitely the type of ‘jewelry’ you’d win at an arcade.

JANET
I love it.

She lifts her hair up and Jason puts it around her neck. He gives her (another) dramatic goodbye kiss and leaves the room.

SHAWN
And then there were four. See you tomorrow.

He leaves, chuckling evilly, as the group warily eyes each other.

END of episode four.

Chapter Text

Episode Five

The episode opens with a few asides from the remaining contestants.

Cut to:

CHIDI
Four left.
(beat)
I genuinely didn’t think I’d make it this far.

Cut to:

ELEANOR
Okay. Now that only four people are left, I have a new plan to win the game.

Long pause.

GLENN
(off-camera)
Are you going to say what the plan is?

ELEANOR
No.

GLENN
Do you actually have a plan?

ELEANOR
(snaps at him)
Are you on my side or not, Glenn?

Cut to:

JANET
I miss Jason.

CUT TO:
A cobblestone street between rows of buildings. Shawn enters, looking like the cat that ate the canary.

SHAWN
Hello. My name is Shawn and I’ll never get tired of saying this: this group has not earned any money in the past two weeks. In fact, last week alone, they lost $40,000. The pot now stands at negative $18,000. Here’s hoping we keep this streak going.

The camera pans to reveal Janet, Michael, Chidi, and Eleanor sitting nearby. They don’t look nearly as happy about this. Janet is wearing the necklace Jason gave her in the previous episode. The group is also wearing matching shirts that say “I lost my belongings in the ‘Burn Baby Burn’ game: Day 2”.

SHAWN
For this game, I’ll only need three of you. Please pick one person to sit this one out.

The four contestants play rock, paper, scissors and Janet wins.

ELEANOR
(bitter)
I forgot how good you are at rock, paper, scissors.

JANET
Bye, guys. Good luck!

She leaves.

SHAWN
Okay, now that she’s gone:

He gestures to the building behind them.

SHAWN
Welcome to my Fun House! This is where you’ll be spending the evening.

He turns to the camera with a sponsorship smile.

SHAWN
We were able to rent out this building thanks to a generous donation from the St. Claire Foundation. Thanks!

His smile immediately drops as he turns back to the contestants.

SHAWN
Come with me and I’ll show you to your rooms.

The group enter the building and walk through a large entryway and a large living room. The building is so old and fancy-looking, it might be more accurate to call the living room “the salon”.

SHAWN
This challenge is worth $20,000. If you win, you’ll be out of the red.
(he smirks)
Because right now, the pot is negative. You guys remember? That the pot is -

The trio all assure him they remember and Shawn continues.

SHAWN
Like the dice challenge from the second episode, two of you will have to complete your challenges in order for the group to make money. Chidi, come with me. Eleanor and Michael, wait here.

Eleanor and Michael choose two of the fancy chairs in the salon to sit in while Shawn leads Chidi up the stairs. They head down a long hallway past several closed doors. Finally, Shawn stops at the door at the end of the hall.

SHAWN
Your challenge is to stay in this room all night.

CHIDI
Great. That didn’t sound sinister at all.

Shawn enters the room with Chidi close behind him. Unlike the rest of the house, this room is completely barren. No wallpaper, no furniture. There’s a small high window in one wall and a small light in the ceiling.

CHIDI
Okay, this isn’t so b - oh!

Chidi stops short when he sees the corner of the room. A giant python sits curled up under the window. Chidi turns to see Shawn staring at him smugly.

CHIDI
I . . . I can’t.

SHAWN
Remember, if you decline this challenge, Michael and Eleanor will have to complete their challenges in order for the group to earn money.

Chidi takes another look at the snake.

CHIDI
I mean, maybe I can -

The snake notices Chidi’s presence and unfurls. It starts slithering towards him.

CHIDI
Nope! I can’t! I’m sorry!

Chidi exits the room. Shawn laughs to himself, waves goodbye to the snake, and shuts the door. He opens a nearby door, revealing a normal bedroom.

SHAWN
Wait here and I’ll come get you after I’ve presented Eleanor and Michael with their challenges.

Chidi shamefully goes and sits on the bed. Shawn heads back downstairs and finds Eleanor and Michael in the salon.

SHAWN
Eleanor. Come with me.

ELEANOR
What happened to Chidi?

SHAWN
It’s episode five. You have to know by now that I’m not gonna tell you.

ELEANOR
Yeah, I know. It was worth a shot.

Eleanor follows Shawn up the stairs. He leads her up a second flight of stairs and down a hallway. He stops at one of the closed doors and looks back at Eleanor.

SHAWN
Your challenge is to stay in this room for three hours.

ELEANOR
I don’t love how that sounds.

He and Eleanor enter the room. Like Chidi’s room, it’s barren. No paintings, no wallpaper. In the center of the room, there’s a large cage with its own light. A chair is sitting in the center of the cage.

ELEANOR
I was right to be concerned.

She notices there’s a whirring sound and an intermittent patting sound coming from the cage. She walks closer to investigate.

ELEANOR
Oh gross!

The floor of the cage is full of flying roaches. Occasionally, some of the roaches will fly up and throw themselves against the cage, but the holes in the cage are too small for them to get through. Eleanor looks back at Shawn.

ELEANOR
Any chance I can spend the three hours outside the cage?

Shawn shakes his head. Eleanor looks back at the cage and Shawn puts his hand on the doorknob.

ELEANOR
(beat)
I’ll do it.

Shawn freezes.

SHAWN
Wait, really?

Eleanor grimaces, then looks back at him and nods.

CUT TO:
Aside from Eleanor.

ELEANOR
Shawn brought up the dice game from the second episode and I remembered how I acted. I called the other contestants losers or something -

GLENN
(off-camera)
Jabronis.

ELEANOR
(dry)
Right, thanks Glenn. Anyway, I said I didn’t owe them anything. But now I’m thinking - I don’t know, it’s stupid.

GLENN
(off-camera)
It’s okay.

Eleanor looks past the camera at where Glenn is and softens.

ELEANOR
Now I’m thinking I might have been wrong.
(beat)
Plus I lost the group $40,000 last time and there’s no way I’m losing any more. At least not this soon.

CUT BACK TO:
Eleanor’s room. Gingerly, Eleanor starts to get into the cage. Suddenly she pulls back.

ELEANOR
Wait!

She pulls her phone out and sets a three-hour timer.

ELEANOR
Okay.

She enters the cage and sits in the chair. Shawn closes the cage door behind her. He checks his watch.

SHAWN
I’ll be back.

Shawn leaves and Eleanor pulls her knees up to her chest.

ELEANOR
(quietly)
Twenty thousand dollars. Twenty thousand dollars. Twenty thousand dollars.

Shawn goes back downstairs and gets Michael. He gestures for Michael to follow him and starts to leave.

MICHAEL
What, no
(Shawn impression)
‘Michael. Please follow me’?

Shawn gives him an annoyed look, exits, then comes back into the room.

SHAWN
(sarcastic)
Michael. Please follow me.

He leaves.

MICHAEL
That’s more like it.

Michael follows. Shawn leads him up the stairs and down the opposite hallway he had led Chidi. He stops at the door at the far end of the hall.

SHAWN
Your challenge is to stay in this room all night.

MICHAEL
(sarcastic)
Comforting words.

Shawn leads Michael into the room. Unlike the previous rooms, it looks like a regular bedroom. There’s wallpaper, furniture, a full bookshelf, and an armoire. There’s even an attached bathroom. In the center of the room, there’s a bed frame - but no bed. Or sheets. Or a pillow.

MICHAEL
That’s all?

Shawn nods. Michael goes to sit on the bed frame.

MICHAEL
Not super comfortable, but definitely not as bad as I thought it would be. I accept the challenge.

Shawn goes to leave.

SHAWN
Great. See you tomorrow, Michael.

Shawn leaves as Michael continues to explore the room. Michael peeks into the bathroom and notices that it already has a toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.

MICHAEL
A fully stocked bathroom? This place is nice!

CUT TO:
Outside the room. Shawn walks down the hall, passes the stairs, and continues until he reaches the other bedroom. He opens the door and Chidi looks up.

SHAWN
The other contestants accepted their challenges. If, by some miracle, they both succeed, you all might actually win some money.

CHIDI
That’s -

SHAWN
Might.

CHIDI
That’s great.

Shawn leads Chidi back downstairs to the salon. There’s now a blanket sitting on one of the couches.

SHAWN
You’ll sleep here for the night. Eleanor’s challenge ends in -

He checks his watch.

SHAWN
Two hours and forty-two minutes. Unless she opts out early. She’ll join you when it’s over. The bathroom is down the hall.

CHIDI
Great. Thanks.

Shawn nods and leaves.

CUT TO:
Two hours and forty-one minutes later. Eleanor’s still sitting in the room. Suddenly, all the lights shut off and she’s plunged into darkness.

ELEANOR
Seriously?

A minute passes. Her phone timer beeps just as the door opens and Shawn enters.

ELEANOR
Shawn! My time is up! Get me out!

He leaves the door open, allowing the light from the hallway to spill into the room. Shawn hurries over and opens the door of the cage. Eleanor tumbles out and shuts it behind her. She shudders and brushes herself off.

ELEANOR
That was terrible. Please tell me another person completed their challenge.

SHAWN
I can’t confirm that just yet.

ELEANOR
I will kill you.

SHAWN
Not on camera you won’t.

He smiles at the camera. Ignoring her growl of frustration, he leads her out of the room and back down to the salon. Chidi’s lying on one couch, but is still awake. There’s now another blanket on the opposite couch.

ELEANOR
Chidi?

CHIDI
Eleanor! Did you opt out?

ELEANOR
(genuinely proud of herself)
No. I completed my challenge.

CHIDI
That’s great!

ELEANOR
Did you complete yours?

Shawn grins.

SHAWN
That's my cue to leave. Good night, you two.

Shawn leaves.

CUT TO:
Michael’s room. He’s exited the bathroom and is ready for bed. He swipes at the wall near the door, but there’s nothing there. There’s no light switch. He glances up at the light coming from the ceiling fan.

MICHAEL
That’s fine. That’s perfectly fine. I’ll just sleep with the light on. Like I’m twelve.

He notes the bookshelf.

MICHAEL
A bit of light reading before bed? Why not?

He scans the titles before picking one and pulling it free. He hops onto the bed frame and opens it, only to find the book is completely blank. Confused, he gets back up and picks a different one. He fans through it, but it’s also blank.

MICHAEL
(annoyed; speaking in a tone that implies he knows he’s being filmed)
This is a huge waste of paper!

CUT TO:
Eleanor and Chidi in the salon. Chidi has tossed his blanket completely off and Eleanor’s pacing the room, furious.

ELEANOR
You didn’t even do it?!

CHIDI
I’m so sorry! I didn’t know yours would be so bad. That snake was huge and I got scared -
(sighs)
I’m not a big snake fan.

ELEANOR
I’m not a big flying roach fan either, but guess what, bud! I nailed my challenge.

CHIDI
You definitely did! I’m really impressed!

ELEANOR
If Michael doesn’t finish his challenge, it means I sat in a cage with flying roaches for no reason. And then I get to kill you.

CUT TO:
Michael’s room. He’s lying on the bed frame with his arm over his eyes, trying to sleep. Suddenly, the light dims. Michael uncovers his eyes, surprised. Before he can get too excited however, the light comes back, just as bright, but blue. It fades again, then comes back red. The light continues fading in and out as different colors. Michael groans and recovers his eyes.

CUT TO:
The salon. Eleanor and Chidi are both lying on the couches, covered by their blankets. Neither is asleep. Eleanor is pointedly rolled away from Chidi, but she looks pensive.

ELEANOR
You said it was a snake?

Chidi is startled that she’s talking to him.

CHIDI
Yeah.

ELEANOR
How big?

CHIDI
I didn’t get a good look at him. If I had to guess, I’d probably say three Michaels long.

ELEANOR
Yikes.

There’s a long silence.

ELEANOR
I probably would have declined.

CHIDI
Really?

ELEANOR
Yeah. I mean, granted we’re on tv so it probably wasn’t poisonous or anything, but -

CHIDI
But Shawn’s hosting this thing, so we can’t be completely sure.

ELEANOR
Exactly.

They both smile to themselves.

CHIDI
I don’t mean to keep you from sleeping.

ELEANOR
You’re not. I’m probably not going to be able to sleep after -

CHIDI
Oh yeah. I wouldn’t be able to either.
(beat)
I can help take your mind off of it.

Eleanor rolls over to face Chidi and gives him a surprised look.

ELEANOR
On camera? I didn’t think you were that type of guy.

CHIDI
What?
(realizes)
Oh no! I’m not! I meant, like, ‘who would win in a fight: godzilla or king kong’, that kind of thing.

ELEANOR
Suuuuuure.

CHIDI
I swear that’s what I meant.

ELEANOR
I know, nerd. I’m just joking.

CHIDI
Oh.

ELEANOR
Godzilla.

CHIDI
Really? I would think King Kong would win.

ELEANOR
Dude. Godzilla is 100 stories tall. King Kong can hang off a building.

CHIDI
Oh yeah. I forgot.

ELEANOR
How could you forget? King Kong is teeny.

Chidi’s about to speak, but she holds up a hand.

ELEANOR
Wait . . . do you hear that?

CUT TO:
Michael’s room. He’s just started to get used to the changing lights when he hears a piano intro play.

MYSTERIOUS SINGER
(sings)
At first I was afraid. I was petrified.

Michael sits up. For the first time, he notices the speakers built into the ceiling.

MYSTERIOUS SINGER
(sings)
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.

He lies back down and covers his ears, but as the song continues and picks up the pace, he knows there’s no use.

MYSTERIOUS SINGER
(sings)
Go on now, go! Walk out the door!

MICHAEL
Whose cover is this? It’s terrible!

CUT TO:
The salon. Time has passed and Eleanor and Chidi are still playing thought games.

CHIDI
If all the contestants from this season got stuck on an island, who do you think would be elected leader and who would die first?

ELEANOR
Oh, easy. Jason would die first.
(thinks about it)
Actually, you know what, I take that back. Jason really came in handy.

CHIDI
I think you would lead.

ELEANOR
Me?

CHIDI
Yeah! I don’t know, it’s something about how you carry yourself. And you always say what you think. You have the qualities of a leader.

ELEANOR
(scoffs, trying to play it off)
I’m not a leader. I’m also not a follower. I’m definitely more of a lone wolf type. . . . But thank you.

CHIDI
You’re welcome.

They smile at each other.

CUT TO:
Michael’s room. Hours have passed. The cover of ‘I Will Survive’ has played on a loop all night. Sometimes it was sped up. Sometimes it was slowed down. Michael’s sitting up on the bed frame, staring at the wall with bloodshot eyes. The song fades out for the hundredth time. There’s a long pause. Michael looks up at the speaker, confused. Could it be over? Is he being shown mercy? Has the night ended at last? The song starts again, but this time it’s being played backwards. Michael screams into the night.

CUT TO:
A timelapse of the sun coming up, then the salon. Michael, Chidi, and Eleanor are sitting on one of the couches. The two blankets have been folded neatly and placed on the other couch. Michael looks exhausted. Shawn enters.

SHAWN
(singing to himself)
Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? You think I’d crumble? You think I’d lay down and die?

MICHAEL
(quietly)
Please.

SHAWN
Good morning, gang! Did you have a nice night?

MICHAEL
(immediately)
No.

Chidi looks over at Eleanor.

CHIDI
It wasn’t bad.

SHAWN
It looks like Eleanor didn’t kill you.
(he clicks his tongue)
Bummer. That would have really helped our ratings.

ELEANOR
It looks like Michael and I completed our challenges. So . . . $20,000?

SHAWN
The game isn’t over yet. Janet has been invited back here and she’s waiting outside. The three of you will tell her about your nights. However, only one of you is telling the truth. If Janet guesses which one of you is telling the truth, you lose.
(begrudgingly)
But yes, if she guesses incorrectly, then the group gets $20,000. I’ll give you all fifteen minutes to get your stories straight.

He leaves. Eleanor is about to say something.

MICHAEL
I’m going to tell the truth.

ELEANOR
Why?

MICHAEL
Because I need someone to vent to, Eleanor!

ELEANOR
O-kay. Chidi, what should our stories be?

Chidi looks panicked.

CHIDI
I don’t love lying. And even if we don’t make something up, it’s going to sound made up. This house is so weird.

ELEANOR
Hey.

She puts her hand over his before he has a chance to spiral.

ELEANOR
Let’s just swap. I’ll say I declined the snake and you say you dealt with the roaches. That way it’s not a lie because it did technically happen. Just not to you.

Chidi considers this.

CHIDI
You’re a genius.

Eleanor grins.

ELEANOR
You just realized that, man?

CUT TO:
The kitchen. The room is small with yellow wallpaper and tiny yellow curtains on the window above the sink. Unlike the rest of the house, this room is more homey. Janet is sitting at the kitchen table. The rules have been explained to her. The scene alternates between Eleanor, Chidi, and Michael sitting across from her, explaining their nights.

ELEANOR
So Shawn leads me in and there’s a huge snake. It’s enormous! Like three Michaels long.

Cut to:

CHIDI
The room has a tiny cage with a chair. And the cage is full of flying roaches. It was disgusting. Presumably. I mean, I don’t want to assume if you’d find that disgusting or not.

Cut to:

MICHAEL
(way less chill than Chidi and Eleanor)
And there’s no bed! So I think, okay. Fine. Whatever. Could be worse, right? Wrong!

Cut to:

ELEANOR
I opted out of that and you can’t blame me! You didn’t see how big it was.

Cut to:

CHIDI
The challenge was accepted. I - Uh, a timer was set for three hours, which is how long the challenge was supposed to be for. And then the challenge was completed.

Cut to:

MICHAEL
Sped up! Slowed down! Forwards! Backwards! I listened to that song all night! That song has been ruined for me forever.

CUT TO:
The four contestants and Shawn in the salon. The trio is sitting on the couch. Janet and Shawn are standing in front of them.

SHAWN
Okay, Janet. Who do you think was telling the truth?

JANET
Every single story was absolutely insane and ridiculous. None of them sounded real. However . . .

There’s a reality tv show pause.

JANET
I think Eleanor was telling the truth.

The trio cheer as Shawn boos. He kicks the wall angrily.

JANET
Chidi’s story just seemed so stilted. And Michael seemed almost too enthusiastic.

Michael leaps up from the couch.

MICHAEL
It was all true! And it was hell!

CHIDI
Okay, he needs to rest.

ELEANOR
Yeah, I don’t think someone his age is supposed to pull all-nighters.

MICHAEL
I’m not that old!

SHAWN
Ugh. Fine. You all win $20,000.

The group cheers.

ELEANOR
We’re out of the red!

The group starts chanting ‘Two thousand dollars! Two thousand dollars!’

GLENN
(off-camera)
Actually . . .

There’s a pause. The camera is on Shawn and he’s looking off-camera, clearly being goaded to speak. He rolls his eyes.

SHAWN
On this show, we can’t keep you in the red. Contestants aren’t allowed to owe the show money. It’s a legal thing. When you reach zero, you just stay there.

ELEANOR
So . . . ?

JANET
So we actually have $20,000?

Shawn frowns, then nods. The cheers grow louder as Shawn walks away.

CUT TO:
The lobby of a library. The four contestants are waiting eagerly. A taxi pulls up and Shawn steps out of it.

ELEANOR
I thought your car got fixed.

SHAWN
It was. But I’m not bringing my car anywhere near you monsters.

ELEANOR
That’s fair.

SHAWN
This challenge is simple. It’s a puzzle.

CHIDI
Ooh, I love puzzles! They’re so much fun, but they’re also like homework. Win-win!

SHAWN
There are a series of clues hidden throughout this library. I’ll give you the first one. The clues will lead to a series of addresses where a carriage will be waiting for each of you. You’ll need to solve the clues, find the addresses, reach the carriage, and get on it before it leaves in exactly one hour. If all four of you aren’t in the carriage in half an hour, you’ll all fail.

ELEANOR
And if we win?

Shawn shakes his head.

SHAWN
So cocky. You won one challenge, dial it back.
(beat)
This game is worth $15,000.

ELEANOR
(cocky)
So we’ll win another $15,000, you mean?

SHAWN
(deadpan)
Your time starts now.

The group panics as Shawn hands Michael the clue and walks away.

MICHAEL
(reading)
‘This French novelist was miserable.’

ELEANOR
(to Chidi)
Okay, Brainiac. Lead the way.
(to Janet)
You too.

CHIDI
Uh, I appreciate your faith in me, but I’m not so great under pressure and timed challenges tend to affect my ability to -

JANET
It’s Victor Hugo.

She dashes off for the fiction section and the group follows. When they reach it, she scans the shelves, finds ‘Hugo’, and pulls the book down. The book falls open to reveal another piece of paper.

JANET
(reading)
‘’The Diary of a Young Girl’, ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’, ‘My Bondage and My Freedom’, ‘Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass’.” But the Maya Angelou one is circled.

MICHAEL
Which one?

JANET
‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’. It’s Maya Angelou’s biography.

ELEANOR
I know the first one you listed is a biography. It’s probably safe to assume the other two are biographies as well.

The group runs to the biography section and finds ‘Angelou’ (and the next clue).

ELEANOR
This one has an address!

Chidi takes the slip of paper, tears off the top part with the address, and hands it to Janet.

JANET
Good luck, guys.

She runs off.

MICHAEL
(reading the other half of the paper)
‘Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.’

The trio look at each other, stumped.

MICHAEL
(to Glenn)
Can we ask for hints?

GLENN
(off-camera)
I mean . . . you all still have your phones.

Eleanor gasps.

ELEANOR
We can use our phones?!

GLENN
Yeah, why not?

CHIDI
It just kind of feels like cheating.

Eleanor’s already pulling out her phone.

ELEANOR
It’s not cheating if you win.

CHIDI
(sarcastic)
Wise words.

ELEANOR
Michael, read the quote again.

MICHAEL
‘Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.’

ELEANOR
(after a moment)
It’s the Bible! Let’s go!

The trio dashes off.

CUT TO:
Janet racing down the street. She reaches the address where a large carriage is waiting. She runs to the front of it and addresses the driver.

JANET
Is this the carriage for The Mole?

The driver turns and we’re able to see their face.

DRIVER
(with a British accent)
I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.

JANET
Is - wait, are you a Hemsworth brother?

The driver sighs.

DRIVER/LARRY HEMSWORTH
(dejectedly)
One of them, yes.

He hops down and helps Janet into the carriage. Once she’s in, he gets back in the driver’s seat and leads the carriage to the next address.

CUT TO:
The gang in the library. They’ve reached the Religion section and Eleanor has pulled down a bible.

ELEANOR
Yep, another address.

She tears it off and hands it to Chidi.

ELEANOR
Whoa, the rest of the clue is a picture.

She shows the picture to Michael.

ELEANOR
I mean . . . it’s pretty.

Michael side-eyes her.

MICHAEL
Yeah. It’s ‘Starry Night’.

ELEANOR
Yeah, it is.

MICHAEL
No, not a starry night. It’s Van Gogh’s ‘Starry Night’.

ELEANOR
Ohhhh. Who?

Michael looks over at the camera.

CUT TO:
Aside from Michael.

MICHAEL
Who doesn’t know Van Gogh? I can tell you who’d pretend to not know Van Gogh: the mole.

CUT TO:
The library. Michael’s looking at Eleanor like she’s an idiot and she’s getting self-conscious.

ELEANOR
Don’t look at me like that! Look at Chidi! He hasn’t even left yet.

CHIDI
Oh shoot! Sorry, guys! Timed challenges mess me up.

He runs off.

ELEANOR
He’s an idiot.
(quietly)
But I love to watch him go.

MICHAEL
What?

ELEANOR
Nothing.

CUT TO:
Chidi running down the street. He spots the carriage and approaches it. The driver turns to see him.

CHIDI
Hey! Is this the - whoa, Chris Hemsworth?

The driver deflates. Janet opens the carriage door and holds out a hand.

JANET
Chidi! You made it!

Janet helps Chidi into the carriage and it rolls away.

CUT TO:
Michael and Eleanor in the library. They’ve found a book of Van Gogh’s paintings and Michael’s found the clue.

MICHAEL
This clue has an address too.

He tears off the address portion.

ELEANOR
(trying to make up for not knowing who Van Gogh was)
Hey, it’s funny they chose a Van Gogh book for this and not a Michaelangelo one. Right? Michaelangelo?

MICHAEL
(testing her)
What is Michaelangelo famous for?

ELEANOR
Go.

Michael leaves. Eleanor looks at the rest of the clue.

ELEANOR
Oh no.
(reading)
‘Orgello y Prejuicio’? ‘823.7 Austen’?
(to Glenn)
Is this a radio station?

There’s a long sigh from off-camera. The camera pans over to a large poster of the Dewey Decimal system. It starts slowly zooming in.

ELEANOR
I don’t speak Spanish! How am I supposed to - Glenn? Are you even - Oh.

She spots the poster and Glenn backs the shot out as Eleanor steps into frame. She faces the camera.

ELEANOR
I would have figured it out eventually.

GLENN
(off-camera)
I didn’t say anything.

CUT TO:
Michael running down the street. He reaches the carriage and hops inside. Chidi and Janet greet him happily. Michael takes a second to catch his breath.

MICHAEL
Is our driver famous? He seems familiar.

CHIDI
Don’t ask. Sensitive subject.

CUT TO:
Eleanor in the library. She’s found the book and the directions. She races out of the library and Glenn follows her. Luckily, her directions lead to a nearby street. As she turns the corner, she sees the carriage trotting away. Unfortunately, she also spots Shawn coming around the opposite corner. He sees her, grins, and taps his wrist. Eleanor breaks into a full sprint. The horse sees Shawn and starts heading towards him.

ELEANOR
Wait!!

Janet, Michael, and Chidi pop their heads out of the carriage and see Eleanor.

JANET
(to the driver)
Stop! Stop the carriage!

Larry Hemsworth is wrestling with the reins, but the horse isn’t stopping.

LARRY HEMSWORTH
I can’t! Damn my slightly less jacked arms! My brothers would be able to stop this carriage.

CHIDI
(to Eleanor)
Come on! You can make it.

Shawn is walking at a regular pace, getting closer and closer. Eleanor’s almost reached the carriage, but every time she reaches up to the handle, she misses and falls behind. Finally, Michael sticks his hand out and Eleanor grabs it. He yanks Eleanor inside just as Shawn reaches the carriage. The horse slows.

ELEANOR
We’re all here! I’m in!

There’s a dramatic reality tv show pause.

SHAWN
Fine.

The group cheers (including Larry).

CUT TO:
An aside shot later from Michael.

MICHAEL
Would I call myself a hero?
(pause)
Yes, absolutely.

CUT BACK TO:
The carriage.

EVERYONE BUT SHAWN
$35,000! $35,000! $35,000!

SHAWN
(deadpan)
Okay! Execution time.

CUT TO:
Asides.

JANET
This is really tough. It could be anyone.

Cut to:

ELEANOR
It’s Michael.

GLENN
(off-camera)
You’re sure? What about Chidi?

ELEANOR
What about Chidi? He’s doing his best. He has an anxiety disorder.
(beat)
Not that that means I’m going to go easy on him.

GLENN
Suuuure.

Cut to:

MICHAEL
It’s Eleanor. The Van Gogh thing? Come on.

Cut to:

ELEANOR
Is he still bringing up the Van Gogh thing? I didn’t know one artist! It’s not my fault Arizona public schools aren’t the best!

CUT TO:
The deciding grounds. The group is sitting in the main foyer of a mansion. There’s a large screen sitting on an empty table. Shawn arrives and sits behind the table.

SHAWN
Alright, let’s do this.

Dramatic pause.

SHAWN
First . . . Chidi.

Dramatic pause. Green. He grins. Eleanor, who is sitting beside him, puts her hand on his leg and squeezes it supportively.

SHAWN
Eleanor.

Dramatic pause. Green. Chidi takes Eleanor’s hand on his leg and squeezes it back.

SHAWN
Janet.

Dramatic pause. Red. Janet puts her hand to her neck and touches the necklace Jason gave her. Then she stands and waves goodbye to Chidi, Eleanor, and Michael.

JANET
Good luck, guys!

She leaves.

SHAWN
Here we are. The final three.

Michael notes Chidi and Eleanor’s joined hands. He rolls his eyes.

MICHAEL
Great.

END of episode five.

Chapter Text

Episode Six

The episode opens with Shawn sitting in a fancy room next to a small television set.

SHAWN
Welcome to the finale of the Mole. We’re down to our final three contestants. As is tradition, we’ve invited the previously executed contestants to watch the final episode.

The camera reveals that the previously eliminated contestants [Vicky, Simone, Tahani, Jason, and Janet] are sitting across from Shawn in large recliners. Jason and Janet are holding hands and look very happy to be reunited.

VICKY
Thank you, Shawn. I’m so honored to be back.

SHAWN
Cool, didn’t ask.

VICKY
I decided to come back to The Mole to show I have no hard feelings. I also wanted to see all of my old friends, of course!

TAHANI
I’m sorry, who are you again?

VICKY
(dropping all pretense)
I came back to ask if I could still get the $19,000 I won in the pilot.

SHAWN
No.

Vicky leaves.

SIMONE
“Won” is a little strong.

JASON
Well, I’m happy to be back! Hey, why didn’t we get snacks when we were playing?

SHAWN
Are you talking about the crafts table? That’s for the movie they’re filming next door, that’s not for us.

JASON
Oh.

SHAWN
Did you steal snacks from their crafts table?

JASON
(long pause)
No.

SHAWN
(beat; to the camera)
The remaining contestants finished the final game and took the final quiz. The results have been tallied and now - finally - we will find out who is the winner and who . . . is the mole.
(to the contestants)
But first, do any of you have any theories before the big reveal?

TAHANI
Oh my. All I know is my guess was completely off.

SIMONE
Who did you guess?

TAHANI
I thought it was Jason.
(to Jason)
Sorry, darling.

JASON
No worries!

SHAWN
What are your theories, Jason?

JASON
(thinks about it)
Toothpaste commercials tell you to use more toothpaste than you need so they can sell more.

JANET
I think he means theories about the game, babe.

JASON
Oh! No idea.

SHAWN
Well, it’s good to know all of you are just as useless as you were before.
(to the camera)
Each of the final three contestants have had their share of suspicious moments this season. We’ve put together a montage for each of them. Let’s take a look.

GLENN
(off-camera)
I mean, you didn’t put together the montage -

SHAWN
Shut up, Glenn! Roll it!

CUT TO:
A screen that says “The Michael Montage”. Footage of each of the events play as Shawn narrates.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
(narration)
From the very first game, Michael had a plan.

MICHAEL
(previous footage)
My strategy is to act like a friendly grandfather figure.
(innocent voice)
No one’s gonna vote against the kindly silver fox.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Fortunately for him, he didn’t need to pretend to be bad at the first game. In fact, no one needed to pretend because they’re all genuinely terrible.

CUT TO:
A montage of all of the contestants falling off the Wipeout-esque obstacle course set to Yakety Sax.

PRESENT DAY SIMONE
(off camera)
Okay, that’s enough.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Fine.

CUT BACK TO:
The Michael montage.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
(sarcastic)
Michael’s strategy definitely paid off.

ELEANOR
(in her aside from the pilot)
Michael’s being way too friendly. Definite mole behavior.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
And then he dropped the strategy in the very next episode.

CUT TO:
A shot of Michael falling into the water during the log game.

MICHAEL
(in his aside from the second episode)
Okay. Screw the kindly old man routine. I’m here to win.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Instead he raised suspicions by being unwilling to do anything.

CUT TO:
Michael during the dice game.

MICHAEL
(reading his options)
‘1, 2, or 3 - cast one leg. 4, 5, or 6 - cast two legs.’

Michael rolls the die. It lands on one.

MICHAEL
Mmm, pass.

SHAWN
Are you sure?

MICHAEL
There’s seven of us. I think we’ll be fine if I skip.

Shawn raises an eyebrow at the camera.

SHAWN
Okay.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
If Jason hadn’t saved the group, no money would have been made that round.

PRESENT DAY JASON
Aw, sweet!

PRESENT DAY JANET
Great job, babe!

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Shh! I’m narrating. In the next episode, Michael had created a new strategy.

CUT TO:
Michael’s aside from episode three.

MICHAEL
This time around, I’m going to actively try to be suspicious. Mr. Nice Guy is no longer playing. Or is he? Who knows? Wink.
(he winks at the camera)

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
He cost the group time and money due to his inexplicable obsession with Doug Forcett.

CUT TO:
Michael fangirling over Doug.

MICHAEL
Could you take a picture of us please?

DOUG
(pretending to be unfazed by the gnome)
Sure.

Michael takes the polaroid camera offered by the cameraman and takes a selfie with Doug and the gnome. He’s pointing at Doug in the picture with a “can you believe it?” expression.

MICHAEL
Thank you! Thank you so much!

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
It’s unclear if this was part of his plan or if he genuinely got distracted. I’m going to guess the latter because I’ve learned it’s always a safe bet that none of you actually know what you’re doing.

PRESENT DAY SIMONE
Hey!

PRESENT DAY TAHANI
You know what, that’s fair. I was living in a ‘land of confusion’, as my good friend Phil Collins would put it.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
What part of ‘I’m narrating’ do you people not understand? Then, during my Fun House game, Michael successfully completed his challenge.

CUT TO:
Michael slowly losing his mind as “I will survive” plays in the background.

PRESENT DAY JANET
Why is this here? This isn’t an example of Michael being suspicious.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
This part’s just for me. But I’ll move on.

CUT TO:
A new montage titled “The Chidi Montage”.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Chidi didn’t appear to have any sort of strategy when he arrived. Despite this, he almost placed first in the schoolhouse challenge. However, a question on Kant tripped him up.

CUT TO:
Eleanor’s aside from the pilot.

ELEANOR
I thought it was suspicious that the philosophy professor got the philosophy question wrong. Chidi might be the mole. But he’s also smart enough to pretend he’s the mole so we vote for him, get our quizzes wrong, and get eliminated faster. But he might have anticipated that and he’s pretending to pretend he’s the mole. OR –

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Chidi also raised suspicions when he failed to complete one of the challenges during the second episode.

CUT TO:
Chidi during the dice challenge.

SHAWN
‘1, 2, or 3 - say something en français. 4, 5, or 6 - ‘

Chidi, not listening, is sinking to the floor.

CHIDI
I need to sit down.

CUT TO:
Janet’s aside from that episode.

JANET
I think Chidi’s suspicious. He’s from Senegal, right? They speak French there.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
However, Chidi once again avoided suspicion, this time due to his anxiety disorder.

CUT TO:
Michael’s aside from that episode.

MICHAEL
(sarcastically, as if the cameraperson just asked the question)
Do I believe that Chidi actually freaked out about his die roll and wasn’t faking it? Let me tell you a story: A couple days ago, we met at the airport and shared a cab over here. I offered to buy him some gum at a gas station. When he saw the shelf of options, he almost passed out. So yeah, I believe it.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Chidi also failed to complete his challenge during the Fun House game.

CUT TO:
Chidi seeing the giant snake in his room in episode five.

CHIDI
Oh!

The snake notices Chidi’s presence and unfurls. It starts slithering towards him.

CHIDI
Nope! I can’t! I’m sorry!

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
However, Michael and Eleanor completed their challenges and fooled Janet, so the group was still able to make money.

CUT TO:
Michael slowly losing his mind as “I will survive” plays in the background.

PRESENT DAY JANET
(warning)
Shawn -

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Ugh, fine.

CUT TO:
“The Eleanor montage.”

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Eleanor also had a strategy from episode one, but hers was a little different from Michael’s. She aimed to create a coalition.

CUT TO:
Previous footage from the pilot.

ELEANOR
(whisper)
We can’t win against these nerds. Wanna start an alliance?

VICKY
Get away from me.

CURRENT DAY SHAWN
Unfortunately, her efforts were rebuffed and she immediately dropped that plan. It appears her plan after that was to just wing it.

CUT TO:
A montage of her failing utterly at later games - getting pushed in the water during the log game, declining her options during the dice game, losing the group money during the escape room game, etc.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Unfortunately, she proved to be terrible at both winging it and all of the challenges. By episode three, Eleanor was completely convinced Tahani was the mole.

CUT TO:
Aside from Eleanor from episode three.

ELEANOR
It’s like she’s trying to be as suspicious as possible!

PRESENT DAY TAHANI
Oh! I’m flattered! . . . I think.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Of course, this theory fell apart by the end of the episode with Tahani’s elimination.

CUT TO:
The group in the execution room after Tahani’s elimination. Everyone’s sitting quietly, processing Tahani’s execution. Eleanor seems bitter.

ELEANOR
This is garbage.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
And then, of course there was -

CUT TO:
A quick montage of Eleanor, Chidi, and Glenn driving Shawn’s car to the greenhouse, disassembling it, and Shawn’s scream when he discovered it, followed by a quick cut to black.

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
(bitter)
But we don’t need to talk about that.

PRESENT DAY SIMONE
They destroyed your car? That’s hilarious!

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
(ignoring her)
Let’s instead talk about how Eleanor successfully lost the group money by thinking Michael was sabotaging them.

CUT TO:
Eleanor and Chidi in the escape room during episode four. Michael is banging on the door outside.

MICHAEL
(annoyed)
I can’t believe this. Just stop working for the next
(he checks his watch)
20 minutes and the group will get $20,000!

ELEANOR
And how much will you get, Mole?

CUT TO:
The end of the game.

SHAWN
So. Chidi and Eleanor successfully solved the puzzle and escaped the room, despite Michael’s interference.

They high-five.

SHAWN
Because of this, $20,000 will be taken from the group’s pot.

ELEANOR
What?

PRESENT DAY SHAWN
Fortunately, Eleanor did better on the challenges following this event. But could that have been a distraction to fool her fellow players? It’s time to find out.

CUT TO:
The room with present day Shawn and the eliminated contestants. The camera pans to three doors near the group.

SHAWN
Michael, Chidi, and Eleanor are behind those doors.

CUT TO:
Three quick shots of the trio, each sitting in closet sized rooms behind each door.

SHAWN
They’ve each been given two keys. The silver one will open their door if they’re the winner. And the gold one will open their door if they’re the mole.

JASON
Mole first!

SHAWN
This is not interactive. But yes, we are starting with the mole.

JASON
Yes!

SHAWN
Michael, Chidi, and Eleanor, please use the gold key to open your door.

There’s a dramatic pause as the eliminated contestants wait to see which door will open. Finally, one does and out steps -

TAHANI
Chidi?!

Chidi grins sheepishly as the group reacts with surprise and cheers.

JASON
Whoa! I was way off!

Chidi walks over and sits with the group, who pepper him with questions.

SHAWN
Okay, okay. Now for the winner. Michael and Eleanor, please use the silver key to open your door.

Another dramatic pause. One of the doors opens.

ELEANOR
(peeking her head out)
Hey, guys!

The group cheers as Eleanor goes to sit. Simone holds her hand out for a high-five and Eleanor slaps it.

SIMONE
That’s for destroying Shawn’s car.

Glenn appears on-camera to open Michael’s door and let him out. The group cheers for him as well while Glenn disappears back behind the camera.

SHAWN
Congratulations to our three final players!

Michael sits with the group and accepts a high-five from Eleanor.

SHAWN
(to the camera)
There were plenty of clues hidden throughout the season pointing towards the mole’s identity. For example, the word ‘mole’ has four letters. The name Chidi has four letters plus one. Chidi is from Senegal. At one point during the first episode, a gull flies through the shot -

SIMONE
How could anyone have possibly guessed that?

CHIDI
If it’s okay, Shawn, I can explain my strategy myself.

Shawn shrugs.

SHAWN
It’s all the same to me.

CHIDI
Okay, well, I lost the physical challenge in the first episode on purpose. For the academic challenge, I just pushed a little when I saw things teetering towards chaos.

FLASHBACK FROM EPISODE ONE:

TAHANI
Could we refrain from answering questions if we don’t know the answers please?

ELEANOR
Oh yeah, like I meant to get that wrong.

CHIDI
I mean…you could have.

ELEANOR
Are you calling me the mole?

The group descends into arguing.

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

CHIDI
I also got the philosophy question wrong on purpose.

FLASHBACK:

SHAWN
Which of these works is considered Emmanuel Kant’s magnum opus? Metaphysics of Morals, Critique of Pure Reason, or An Answer to the Question: What is Enlightenment?’

SIMONE
Critique of Pure Reason?

SHAWN
That’s correct!

SIMONE
Yes! That was a total guess.

CHIDI
Great job! I can’t believe I missed that.

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

CHIDI
I mean, I teach philosophy. I love Kant. I ‘Kant’ get enough of him.

He grins, then quickly moves on.

CHIDI
For the second episode, I pulled back and focused on making friendships and bonding with people.

FLASHBACK FROM EPISODE TWO:
Simone swims to the banks after being knocked off the log by Little Jon and Chidi helps her out of the water.

SIMONE
Sorry, guys.

CHIDI
Don’t be. You did great. Better than I would have done!

Simone smiles at him, grateful.

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

CHIDI
But come on. I’m fluent in French, guys.

FLASHBACK FROM EPISODE TWO:

SHAWN
‘1, 2, or 3 - say something in french. 4, 5, or 6 - give a speech in french.’

Chidi, barely listening, is sinking to the floor.

CHIDI
I need to sit down.

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

JANET
I knew it!

CHIDI
In the third episode, I definitely did see Michael getting distracted during the gnome game, but I pretended not to.

FLASHBACK FROM EPISODE THREE:

MICHAEL
You designed the architectural platform that redefined what architecture could be.

DOUG
Aww, thanks!

Michael continues to go on about how he wrote his thesis on Doug’s work. The camera pans to show Chidi, waiting by his bucket of lard a few dozen feet away, but facing in the other direction. This time, the camera is showing his face instead of his back. He’s grinning, obviously aware of what’s going on.

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

CHIDI
Then I diverted suspicions by nailing my challenge in the relay race.

FLASHBACK FROM EPISODE THREE:
Chidi greases the gnome and runs off to the soccer field. The camera shows him miss the goal over and over and over again.

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

ELEANOR
Ehh, I don’t know about ‘nailing’.

CHIDI
(moving right along)
In the fourth episode, I didn’t do much. I . . . I may have gotten a little distracted.

FLASHBACK FROM EPISODE FOUR:

ELEANOR
I’ve got a plan.

She takes Chidi’s hand to lead him away. The camera focuses on his surprised and pleased reaction.

CUT TO:
The second game from episode four. Chidi and Eleanor are waiting in the lobby after Jason, Janet, and Michael have been led away to the escape room.

CHIDI
(awkwardly)
So . . . do you like Thai food?

ELEANOR
What?

CHIDI
Nothing.

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room. Eleanor grins, pleased that Chidi’s so flustered. He clears his throat.

CHIDI
Anyway. I was able to get back on track when we were solving the puzzles.

FLASHBACK FROM EPISODE FOUR:
Chidi and Eleanor are working in the escape room. Suddenly, someone bangs on the door.

MICHAEL
Don’t solve the puzzle! Stop solving!

CHIDI
What?

MICHAEL
Shawn said if you solve the puzzle, it will lose us money.

There’s a pause. Eleanor looks over at Chidi.

CHIDI
How do we know you’re not lying?

Eleanor points at him, like ‘oh good point’.

MICHAEL
What?

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

MICHAEL
(arms crossed, looking bitter)
I’m still mad I had to run for no reason.

CHIDI
As for the fifth episode, I have to be completely honest. If I weren’t the mole, I still would have declined that challenge. I’m not a snake guy.

Eleanor laughs and everyone looks at her.

ELEANOR
I just realized I’m the reason we won that challenge. I told you to lie about your room and Janet picked up on your weird phrasing.

CHIDI
Yeah, yeah. But in the next challenge, I remembered Janet used to be a librarian and realized she would be our biggest asset in deciphering the clues. So I sent her away.

FLASHBACK FROM EPISODE FIVE:
The group reach the biography section and find ‘Angelou’ (and the next clue).

ELEANOR
This one has an address!

Chidi takes the slip of paper, tears off the top part with the address, and hands it to Janet.

JANET
Good luck, guys.

She runs off.

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

CHIDI
Everyone was so panicked about the time limit that no one even questioned it.

MICHAEL
I can’t believe I forgot Janet was a former librarian!

JASON
I wouldn’t have forgotten. You’re brilliant, not-a-girl!

Janet beams.

CHIDI
Anyway, the group still won the challenge, so.
(He shrugs.)
I guess I wasn’t the best mole in the show’s history.

SHAWN
Hey, you kept the group’s total in the red for multiple episodes. You’re my favorite mole to date.

He holds out his hand for a high-five and Chidi high-fives him.

ELEANOR
I can’t believe you high-fived that.

CHIDI
Hey, don’t hate the player.
(beat)
I hated saying that.

ELEANOR
Yeah, that was terrible.

TAHANI
You did a great job, Chidi.

SIMONE
But Eleanor still won.
(to Eleanor)
How did you know Chidi was the mole?

Eleanor grins and turns to Michael.

ELEANOR
You want to take this one, bud?

MICHAEL
Eleanor and I had an alliance.

Everyone reacts with surprise.

CHIDI
But you two fought the entire time!

ELEANOR
All part of the plan.

MICHAEL
Well, the coalition didn’t actually start until episode four. Originally, I had a coalition with Janet.

Everyone turns to Janet, who grins.

MICHAEL
After the obstacle course in the first challenge, I realized I was going to have to team up with somebody.

FLASHBACK TO EPISODE ONE:
Michael and Janet are in their shared room. They’re sitting on their respective beds. Janet’s reading a book.

MICHAEL
Hey. Do you want to be in an alliance?

JANET
Sure.

MICHAEL
Great.

Janet goes back to her book and they continue to sit in silence.

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

JANET
Wait, did you only enter into an alliance with me because we shared a room?

MICHAEL
At first. But you turned out to be a very useful partner. And a good friend.

SHAWN
Gross.

MICHAEL
We’d spend our evenings sharing notes and trying to guess who the mole was. We were an incredibly focused and dedicated team.

FLASHBACK:
Michael and Janet are in their shared room. They’re both in Janet’s bed and are in soft pjs. There’s a bowl of popcorn sitting between them. Janet’s doing her nails and Michael’s reading out loud from a Teen Vogue that was definitely stolen from Eleanor and Jason’s room.

MICHAEL
Okay, who’s the hotter celeb? A) Ryan Reynolds, B) Michael B Jordan, or -

JANET
B, hands down.

MICHAEL
(aghast)
What?!

CUT BACK TO:
The present-day finale room.

MICHAEL
…For the most part.

JANET
I actually thought the mole was Chidi early on. But I may have also gotten a little distracted.

She looks over at Jason.

JANET
It was worth it.

They kiss.

MICHAEL
(sarcastic)
Was it? Kinda feels like you’re speaking for both of us, but okay. Anyway, after that, I had no choice but to approach Eleanor.

ELEANOR
Luckily, we both agreed that we’d thought it was Chidi for a while.

CHIDI
(trying not to appear hurt)
Wait, so when we talked that night during the fun house game - you were just trying to figure out if I was the mole?

ELEANOR
Yeah, at first.

She takes his hand.

ELEANOR
But you won me over pretty quickly.

Michael fake gags in the background.

MICHAEL
I had to reassure her I wasn’t the mole after that. It wasn’t easy!

ELEANOR
We pretended to fight in front of Chidi so he’d think we suspected each other.

MICHAEL
That reminds me: you were pretending to not know who Van Gogh is, right?

ELEANOR
(long pause)
Yes.
(quickly moving on)
Plus, it was pretty obvious Chidi was the mole after he didn’t run during a timed challenge!

She pushes his shoulder playfully.

CHIDI
Okay, that may have been an obvious mole move, but I wasn’t lying when I said timed challenges mess me up.

ELEANOR
(flirty/teasingly)
Oh really? So you would have done just as badly if you hadn’t been the mole?

CHIDI
I mean, there are so many variables.

MICHAEL
(to Shawn)
Please end this so we can go home.

ELEANOR
Wait, I’m not done! Before the final quiz, Michael and I discussed one last thing. We felt bad about costing the team so much money, so -
(to Shawn)
We agreed whichever one of us won would share the money with the rest of the group.

The group reacts with surprise and excitement. Shawn rolls his eyes.

SHAWN
This is the worst possible way this could have ended.

SIMONE
Wait, seriously? We all get money?

Vicky rushes in, carrying some snacks she clearly stole from the crafts table.

VICKY
Sorry, couldn’t help but overhear. Does this include me as well?

Michael looks at Eleanor. She pauses, then nods.

MICHAEL
Fine. Yes Vicky, you too.

ELEANOR
The final total was $35,000. Split seven ways, that’s $5,000 each.

It looks like Tahani’s about to say something.

ELEANOR
(cutting her off)
And if you’re about to say something about it being a small amount, save it.

TAHANI
No, no! I was going to say thank you.

Eleanor seems surprised. She and Tahani smile at each other.

SHAWN
Ugh, teamwork? Friendship? Sharing? That’s not what this game is supposed to be about.

ELEANOR
Too bad, dude. We’re finishing the game our way.

SHAWN
Boo.
(to the camera)
Alright, well, that’s our show. Thanks for tuning in. Six weeks of challenges, five eliminations, and $35,000 in prize money - all to be shared.

He scowls.

SHAWN
Disgusting. Good night, everybody.

The group talks with each other excitedly about the money and the conclusion of the game. Shawn collapses back in his chair, looking annoyed. Vicky offers him some of her stolen crafts-table cheese and after a moment, he takes it. The theme music plays as the scene fades out.

END