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(interior: the "Sympathy For Villains Club"; once again, the animated villains sit around at their tables, nearly griping about their regular predicaments. Tonight, they wonder just how to get viewers of their realms to appreciate them, more)
Sideshow Bob: Then, they sent me straight to jail after I got foiled by that treacherous Bart Simpson and his family!
Global Warmer: How tragic... (pours more hot sauce into his drink, and eventually drinks the rest of the hot sauce straight out of the bottle)
King Goobot: Yes, but my sacrifice to Poultra was ruined by that Jimmy Neutron!
Plankton: Eh, what's the point in griping about it, anyway? It's not gonna help stop the pain and humiliation that gets to us, every day.
Sideshow Bob: But why? Who's to decide that we are the bad guys? Who?! (bangs his fist on his table)
Crikey: The writers, I'll bet... (growls and takes a bite of bacon)
Bob: Yes, but why? We're not entirely bad; the viewers just don't understand our pain... (perks up) But why don't we make them understand? (snaps his fingers) I have it! Hit it, Mr. Teeny! (accordion music starts)
(singing) Over 25 years ago,
I auditioned for a show,
But all I got was public humiliation.
Despite getting Krusty framed,
A certain boy had cleared his name...
And that is why I vow to have my vengeance!
(Sideshow Mel begins to play the piano)
As you can see, my work has made me crazy;
Those years have been the worst I've ever had.
Next time you try to call me "evil",
It's that clown who's spawn of the devil!
Like everybody else, I'm not so bad!
Villains: (singing) He's not so bad,
He's not so bad.
Bob: (singing) Being used as cannon fodder makes me mad!
Now, Bart Simpson, he must die,
He can kiss his life "goodbye"!
Like everybody else, I'm not so bad.
G.W.: (clears his throat) May I?
Bob: Proceed.
G.W.: (singing) When I was young and still in school,
Before I met a certain fool,
I thought I was getting close to finding romance.
But then, Man-Arctica came along,
And he tried to prove me wrong,
And all the ladies went after him, instead!
Ice King: Ooh, I hear ya, dude...
G.W.: (singing) And until I find my worthy true love,
I plan to melt Earth's glaciers into puddles!
So, to that horrid man of ice,
I'll show him that I am nice!
Like everybody else, I'm not so bad.
Villains: (singing) He's not so bad,
He's not so bad.
G.W.: (singing) To be without love is just too sad.
And soon I'll flood this boring planet,
Man-Arctica can can it!
Like everybody else, I'm not so bad.
Discord: (singing) I just want a place to spread my chaos.
Ice King: (singing) I just want a princess for a bride.
Shredder: (singing) I wanted to restore the Foot clan honor.
King Goobot: (singing) I had to sacrifice to Poultra.
Donbot: (singing) I want stogies!
Bob: (singing, and rolling his eyes) How "sublime"...
Crikey: (singing) I just have a love for crime!
Joey Mousepad: (singing) And Carl the Evil Cockroach wants to impress his mom...
Carl: Uh, that's Evil Cockroach Wizard to you!
Li'l Lugnuts: 'Scuse me? (singing) When I was barely in my teens,
You'll find this pretty keen,
I was once loved by all, and respected.
Once I got a little older,
The critics soon got colder...
'Till my show bumped off, and then it got rejected!
Plankton: (singing) I'm not so bad.
Villains: (singing) He's not so bad.
Plankton: (singing) I'm not so bad.
Villains: (singing) He's not so bad.
Plankton: (singing) Stingy shellfish and their fry cooks make me mad!
Though I have a computer for a wife,
I'll still live a happy life.
Like all you lovely folks, I'm not so bad!
Villains: (singing) He's not so bad, (She's not so bad)
They're not so bad (We're not so bad).
Sometimes, life's just made us mad, or made us sad, now we're not so glad...!
Bob: (singing) Call us evil...
Discord: (singing) Creeps...
G.W.: (singing) Ballistic?
Crikey: (singing) But we're criminally optimistic.
Bob: (singing) Because, way down, deep inside, we're not so bad!
Plankton: (singing) We're not so bad...
Discord: (singing) We're not so bad...
Bob: (singing) We're not so bad...
King Goobot: (singing) We're not so bad...
Crikey: (singing) We're not so bad...
Clamps: (singing) We're not so bad...
Villains: (singing) Yes, way down, deep inside, we're not so bad!
Prof. Saccharin: Destroy the aliens!
King Goobot: (spits out his drink and coughs)
Prof. Saccharin: What's the matter?
King Goobot: But Ooblar and I are aliens; were you planning to kill us, too?!
Prof. Saccharin: After discovering that you were, I actually might!
Ooblar: WHAT?!?! Why you little-...!
Bob: (as he blocks King Goobot and Ooblar from approaching the professor) Now, wait a minute, if you plan to kill all alien life, then why are you even in the "Sympathy for Villains Club"?
Prof. Saccharin: What's that supposed to mean?
G.W.: At least we have good reasons for what we've done.
Discord: What makes you think that you'll even qualify to be here?
Donbot: Yeah!
Prof. Saccharin: (chuckles) Oh, I actually do have a reason: I want to preserve them in formaldehyde and put them on display in museums!
Villains: (exchange looks, and they toss the mad scientist into a dark cell, along with other super-evil villains)