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Chapter Text

Katherine woke up choking, with tears in her eyes, vision totally blurred.

Her hands shakily traveled to her neck, making her hiss in pain and widen her eyes at the blood coating her skin, her breath quickening. 

Once her throat cleared a bit, she managed to let out a scream, trembling when someone came barging through the door, exclaiming things Katherine couldn’t understand before wrapping something around her wound.

Katherine had tried pushing the hands aways, jumping into a panic as she remembered the feeling of palms against her skin, almost like she’d been burned. 

“It’s alright, niña. I’ll make it stop bleeding, you’ll be fine. Please, try to breathe slowly.”

After a few moments, she could feel her lungs working more easily, but the situation had clearly drained her. Feeling her eyes heavy, Katherine let her head fall back against the pillow, close to the other hand of the person - the woman - helping her.

She couldn’t understand why or how, but something in the back of her mind kept telling her that there was nothing to fear. Not that time.

That, for whatever reason, Katherine wasn’t at risk.

…

It was just her and Catherine of Aragon - or Catalina. Katherine learned the older woman had nursed her neck until the scar properly closed, allowing her to regain consciousness and get to know more about her housemate.

The first wife of Henry VIII, married to him for 24 years. Katherine couldn’t imagine what that had been like, and her face clearly said it all, having made Catalina let out a lighthearted chuckle.

“Well, he was certainly unpleasant, but at the time he was quite handsome and was my daughter’s father. I wanted to keep our family together, if only for her sake.”

The memory of Mary Tudor flooded her mind instantly, and Katherine could see the resemblance between mother and daughter. Looking back, Mary certainly looked a lot like Henry, she had his eyebrows and eye shape, but the blue in them was just like Catalina’s, as well as her nose and hair color.

Catalina was so kind and caring with her, that Katherine didn’t have the heart to tell Mary had hated her to the core. And that, maybe, the feeling had been mutual at the time. By the time she’d been sent to the Tower, Katherine had tried to make her peace with the people she had wronged and felt wronged by, Mary being one of them.

The idea that a girl in her mid-twenties would ever accept a teenager as a stepmother sounded so ridiculous now, that Katherine couldn’t fault Mary for not liking her, especially since she had been mean and rude, abusing her power as Queen to offend and mock her.

Still, Katherine wondered how Mary would’ve turned out if she had gotten the chance to be with her mother. She certainly took after her. Katherine could see Mary when Catalina kneeled down to pray, when she walked around the house and with the way she spoke with carefully thought words.

The poise and elegance were there, almost like they’d been passed down hereditarily, and she was more than glad to tell Catalina about it as soon as her throat didn’t feel as sore and she could speak again, her heart warming with the way the older woman’s face lit up and her eyes filled with tears, hugging Katherine tightly before apologizing profusely after noticing the way her body tensed up.

Their interactions began to be more natural, but it was obvious that Catalina had been not only shocked but disgusted to learn Henry had married 17 year old Katherine, whilst being almost 50.

However, that didn’t stop them from entering a comfortable routine. Catalina would cook and Katherine offered to clean the house, which was bigger than expected, with rooms that were still locked and untouched. 

She’d learned Catalina had woken up alone on January 7th, heartbeat so fast it hurt and her head a bit fuzzy. Experiencing everything about that new ‘life’ and place all alone had been scary, but she had managed to learn the basics and was thrilled to have another person around.

Having been raised catholic, Katherine was more than happy to accompany Catalina to a church close to where they lived, even if she had never been as devout. Catalina’s faith was so strong it captivated Katherine, and, once again, she could understand why Mary hadn’t abandoned her religion. Not only could it offer comfort, it was the last bit of her mother she’d had left.

Catalina also took the time to brave the modern technology with Katherine, who was much better at grasping its functions. Katherine had been the one to discover the telenovelas Catalina had been immediately drawn to, not even caring that she couldn’t understand a single thing that was said, as long as she got to watch the older woman beam or scream at the TV, moved by the narrative of each character.

The two Queens sometimes would stay up until late at night, almost playing a silent game of who would fall asleep first, the 'loser' feeling obligated to look for any signs of a nightmare, which were - unfortunately - common for both.

When none of them felt at peace enough to rest, Katherine would lay against the couch, buried under warm blankets, listening closely as Catalina told her stories of Spain, from before she had been sent to England. She would share details of her love story with Prince Arthur, about all their letters, making the fifth Queen giggle as she went on about how they couldn’t speak each other’s languages well enough to further conversation.

Her eyelids fluttered and relaxed as she heard Catalina’s melodic voice in the form of a lullaby, a small smile on her lips.

Needless to say, they were very comfortable with each other, and it all seemed to be a set up from the universe, God, or whatever entity was responsible for bringing them back on their death days, because no longer after that, both of them had gotten a surprise.

Chapter Text

A bloodcurdling scream echoed around the house, briefly sending Katherine into a spiral before Catalina grabbed her shoulders firmly, comforting her the way she always did, smiling softly when the younger girl nodded her head and wiped her wet eyes.

“You don’t have to come, mija. We don’t know what we’ll find.”

“I don’t want to be alone, Catalina. Can I please just wait outside?”

“Whatever you wish, niña.”

They walked slowly, fingers still entwined, before Catalina opened the door next to her own, where chokes and sobs were coming from, and stood frozen in shock at the doorway, dropping Katherine’s hand suddenly.

“Catalina? Who is it?”

“There’s blood,” It was all she said, pulling her sleeves up. “Just… Towels, please.”

“Y-Yeah. Of course.”

She rushed to the bathroom, grabbing some extra towels and finally entering the room, freezing in place herself.

The woman on the bed looked older than her - obviously - but younger than Catalina. She had black hair, some of it sticking to her neck and forehead, and beautiful green eyes that were filled with fear and despair.

She was familiar, with Katherine realizing some of their features matched.

Just like the lines around their necks.

“Is that…”

“You will end up just like your cousin-” A male voice growled, voice echoing inside her head.

“-Anne Boleyn.”

Catalina’s voice was low and heavy, with many emotions crossing her eyes as she cared for the wound the same way she’d done for Katherine.

Annoyance, jealousy, anger, betrayal, shock and sadness.

It finally occurred to her that although they died in the same year, Catalina had passed before Anne, with no idea of the fate that awaited the second Queen. The realization that Anne had ended up beheaded like Katherine was a big and unexpected one, but as always, Catalina remained composed and focused on the task at hand - making sure Anne would be alright.

Humble and loyal, indeed. Katherine thought to herself.

“Katherine, you don’t have to stay. I understand if this is too much for you.”

Anne’s eyes turned to her, tearful and tired. She knew Anne would pass out soon, and the sight of blood always made her feel ill, but something inside her prevented her from leaving the room - from leaving Anne behind.

“She’s my cousin.”

“What?” Catalina turned to her in confusion, as if checking if she’d heard it correctly.

“Anne Boleyn. She’s my first cousin… We’re family.”

Granted, family had never been much to her. Not much of a presence and even less a source of love. Her parents had been - rightfully, so - ashamed of her, and her step grandmother eyed her with disdain and disgust.

When it came to cousins, there was Thom-

No.

Katherine would spiral again if she thought of him. 

But Anne… She knew nothing of Anne, besides the fact that they were condemned for similar crimes and sentenced to the same fate. What she did know was that Anne was Elizabeth’s mother, and the young Princess had always held a deep and unwavering affection for her mother, no matter how forbidden her name was or how much Henry fought to erase her memory.

If Elizabeth held Anne to such a high standard with the entirety of England claiming the opposite, Katherine doubted she was as bad as they stated. Elizabeth had always been smarter than her, so Katherine wouldn’t hesitate to choose her side.

“Will she be alright?” She chose to ask when Catalina failed to voice a response.

“You were.” The Spaniard offered. “I think the bleeding is stopping, it’s going faster than yours.”

Yes, Katherine had noticed. According to Catalina, Katherine’s neck had taken an hour to stop bleeding completely, and the fifth Queen blamed that on the way she’d been beheaded.

Henry hadn’t bothered with her, letting an executioner with little skill do the job with an axe that was not nearly sharp enough to make it a quick death. Of course, it was just ridiculous to think there was a less brutal way to execute someone, but what Henry could do was decide how much a person would suffer when the time came.

Anne Boleyn had been beheaded by a skilled swordsman, who did - as she heard - a quick and painless job. Perhaps Anne and Katherine would be the only people to ever know the feeling of having a blade sever their heads, and that one just couldn’t make that any levels of pleasant. 

No matter how long Katherine had practiced with the block inside her chamber at the Tower, the walk to their death would always be the scariest steps a person could take, and to this day, Katherine couldn’t explain how she’d done it on her own.

Sitting on the floor next to her cousin, whose eyes had finally closed, Katherine moved to grab her hand, taking a deep breath as she teared her gaze away from the bloody fabric and focused on Anne’s hands.

Of course there had been no sixth finger. Henry’s lies could be so absurd.

“I understand if you want distance from me now. I just had never thought to tell you, we’ve never even met in the past.”

Catalina’s eyes softened as she sent Katherine a small smile. “Nonsense, niña. You are your own person, aren’t you? Besides, I very much enjoy the times we spend together.”

“You and the Boleyn woman are the same. Two whores who dared to betray their sovereign and husband.”

Still, Katherine smiled back. She deeply admired and was thankful for Catalina’s morals.

…

There was something connecting Katherine and Anne. Something more than accusations and beheadings, more than blood.

Anne was nothing like she’d expected. She was clever and witty, and yet so very funny. She could make Katherine laugh with the simplest things and it seemed to bring her much delight to do so.

The second Queen, however, tried to keep distance from Catalina, as it was very easy for them to engage into heated arguments, which always led to Katherine locking herself in her room, filled with stress. 

Katherine desperately wanted them both to get along, because she held just as much affection for Anne as she did for Catalina, but with the long and complicated history they had, it honestly wasn’t surprising.

Anne would go to help her cousin take care of the house, showing great interest for the books in the shelves and the chess board they’d found while cleaning the attic. She had decided to seize the opportunity to teach Katherine how to play, and despite always confusing the moves each piece could make, it made her glad to know her cousin wanted to spend time with her.

Maybe family could be good. 

Anne was family. And Katherine grew to love her quickly.

Sometimes, she was able to catch Catalina looking at them fondly, as if she too could see past Anne’s façade. Anne Boleyn could look conceited and cold on the outside, but had proved to be one of the warmest people Katherine had ever met, who had immediately jumped into the role of older cousin.

Still, Anne treated her with respect and dignity, never belittling her even when she began noticing Katherine's difficulty with more academic things. She hadn’t gotten a good education like Anne, and even if she knew how to read and write, she was nowhere near her cousin’s level.

The second Queen could read large books in less than a week if she found them interesting enough, and when she realized Katherine wouldn’t be able to keep up, the solution seemed simple enough - she’d read aloud with Katherine by her side, enjoying the clarity with which the words fled her mouth.

So the days went by with Katherine praying in the mornings with Catalina, just as she did before, then doing her chores with Anne, watching telenovelas with the first Queen until the woman got up to make dinner and ending with her listening to whatever story her cousin would read her until they decided to go to bed.

Anne, perhaps with the influence of her younger cousin, quickly became attached to the electronics around the house, and was also the one who helped Katherine understand how a game console worked, after reading a complicated manual. The two would proceed to use their weekends to play it together, laughing every time they messed up.

During all that time, Katherine had gotten used to holding hands with Catalina and resting her head on Anne’s shoulder, but touching in general had always been a sensitive thing for her, and it made the young girl extremely glad and relieved that the other women showed no issues respecting her boundaries. 

Katherine saw worry in their eyes, especially in Anne’s when her cousin was forced to call Catalina after trying to run her fingers through Katherine’s hair, sending her into a crisis that lasted a good 30 minutes.

The young girl knew Anne was biting back her questions, but not withholding any apologies. Katherine fought back tears and ghost hands pulling at her scalp as she reassured her it wasn’t her fault. 

It wasn’t like they’d known each other for long, but Katherine had no doubts Anne was different. They had shared a few stories from their pasts, Katherine still keeping the worst ones locked deeply in her mind, and it had become clear that Anne didn’t really have luck in the family department as well.

Save for her siblings. 

Katherine had held her hands one night, long after Catalina had fallen asleep, when Anne had felt comfortable enough to shed her tears regarding Mary and George - the latter more than the former.

Katherine hadn’t been close to her brother, Charles, but the fifth Queen had heard many stories about Catalina’s - Isabella, Juan, Juana and Maria - and knew that whatever relationship Anne had had with George, it wasn’t the dirty sin Henry had claimed to be, shaming the woman for it until her final breath.

The Boleyn siblings had apparently been extremely close, especially Anne and George, since they were just kids. He was essentially her best friend and it was obvious to Katherine that Henry had managed to taint some of Anne’s happiest memories, just to watch her fall.

Thomas Boleyn, on the other hand, had been just like Katherine’s father, using his own daughter to reach his goals of grandeur. Anne had told her about how he had gone from a caring father to a monster thirsting for power, first using Mary as his pawn and then replacing her with Anne once his eldest’s reputation was stained and the King had tired of her.

Her uncle, the Duke of Norfolk, was the most obvious example, having declared her guilty of all charges, basically signing her death warrant. 

The cousins had a lot in common, finding solace in each other. Talking, reading, cleaning, or just being there for each other, crying about their pasts or sharing stories of Elizabeth.

Katherine had gotten to know the young Princess in a way that had been taken away from Anne, and she was more than glad to assure her cousin of how Henry had never gotten to Elizabeth’s head, and how dear Anne was to her.

Even if Katherine’s stories were just as limited as Anne’s, it just showed them they had something else to share, to cherish. Memories that no tirant King or ghostly hands could taint - a light at the end of the tunnel.

Catalina watched the cousins with curiosity and fake annoyance. They were extremely loud together, laughter echoing around the house as a result of whatever silly or perverted joke Anne had made at the time, but she could admit - just not out loud - that Anne’s presence had been important for Katherine’s growth.

She compared the young girl she’d found bleeding on the bed and who was very quiet months ago, to the young girl who teased her cousin and laughed loudly at her own failed attempts to repeat the dramatic lines from Catalina’s telenovelas, and it never failed to bring a smile to her face.

Catalina and Anne didn’t like each other. But they had established a silent truce, if only for Katherine’s benefit. Whatever it was she had gone through, it had obviously broken her, and now, the fifth Queen had finally started to heal, relearning how to trust. 

And if Catalina and Anne could put their history and resentment towards each other aside, just for her happiness… Then maybe this time things would be better.

Chapter Text

Katherine was paying close attention to the way Catalina prayed in Latin. She knew she was supposed to close her eyes, but she couldn’t help being fascinated by how the older woman never paused to think, her pronunciation as clear as her mind and heart, totally devoted to her God.

She thought those were the moments Catalina looked the most peaceful - perhaps because Anne would never be around to make a quirky remark that could escalate quickly. Katherine had soon realized that the first Queen was incredible at keeping her cool, clearly a side effect from 24 years married with Henry, however, Anne was just as incredible when it came to riling her up.

It was funny when it didn’t become a screaming match.

Catalina prayed in gratitude for a second chance at happiness. She prayed for her daughter that lived and for the babies she’d lost. Catalina prayed for the souls of her parents and siblings and María de Salinas, her beloved Lady in Waiting.

She also prayed for Katherine, which made the young girl tear up over. Katherine could’ve never imagined that someone would care about her enough to pray for her wellbeing, but Catalina never failed to surprise her.

So because she was so grateful, Katherine would pretend she didn’t hear the times Catalina included Anne as well. Even if it filled her with delight.

“I can feel you watching me, querida.” Catalina whispered, but there was no bite behind her tone.

Katherine felt her cheeks heating up, but chuckled. “I know you’re praying, but I have no idea of what you’re saying most of the time. It’s still beautiful, though.”

“Well, Boleyn had the pleasure of explaining to me why it’s a dead language, so it’s nice to hear this type of comment for a change.” 

“I didn’t even know a language could just die. I wonder who was the last person to actually use it…”

Catalina’s smile grew, eyeing Katherine with affection. Sometimes, the young girl reminded her a lot of Mary, back when her daughter was little. Something about that told Catalina that the fifth Queen hadn’t had the best childhood, and it was always a pleasure to hear genuine and innocent questions like that.

“Right now, I would say it’s me.” Catalina joked with a wink.

Katherine laughed. “That’s amazing.” Standing up and offering the older woman a hand, she opened her mouth to continue, only to jump up at the sound of someone rushing downstairs. “What the-”

“Kat! Lina!” Anne finally stopped running, almost falling off the last step of the staircase, wide eyed and breathless. “You have to come upstairs now!”

“What happened?”

“Haven’t I told you not to call me that, Boleyn?” 

Katherine and Catalina had said it at the same time. The first Queen crossed her arms in annoyance as Anne waved her off with an eye roll.

“I think there’s someone else in the house. I heard noises coming from the room next to Kat’s.” 

Smirking at the second Queen, Catalina pouted in mockery. “And you were too frightened to check it all by yourself?”

Anne’s cheeks and ears gained a light blush as she looked away from them. “Oh, pipe down, Aragon! Are you coming or not?”

Katherine, albeit amused by their shenanigans, rushed to her cousin’s side, grabbing her hand and pulling her back up, Catalina following suit quickly.

The corridor had three doors on each side. The ones to the left being Catalina’s, Anne’s and a locked one, and Katherine’s being on the right side, between two doors which were previously locked as well.

The noises were coming from the one to the right of Katherine’s room - groaning and someone speaking a language Katherine may have never understood, but knew exactly which one was.

Her eyes filled with tears as she let out a watery laugh, earning the attention of the other two women. “It’s Anna!”

Sensing the glee in Katherine’s voice, Anne’s shoulders relaxed. “Who?”

“Anna of Cleves,” The fifth Queen was quick to explain. “She was Henry’s wife before me, for a couple of months. I was Anna’s Lady in Waiting before Henry divorced her.”

Catalina’s head snapped back at Anne, putting her hands on her waist. “Isn’t it curious how history repeats itself?!”

Anne just rolled her eyes again, pushing past the first Queen and cracking the door open. 

Anna, Katherine noticed, looked very different than she remembered. Her skin was darker, even more than Catalina’s, and her hair was very short and curly. Still, Anna looked beautiful.

Anna had always been beautiful. And Katherine never understood why Henry had been so displeased with her. At first, it seemed like Anna was the perfect fit. She had an excellent upbringing, was the daughter of a Duke and had excellent education to back her up.

She was polite and had a stunning smile, and the fact that she was Queen didn’t interfere with how welcoming and nice she was to those around her, including Katherine, whom she befriended despite how inferior the younger girl had been in the hierarchy.

“Who’s there?”

Upon hearing Anna’s voice, Katherine rushed inside, only stopping herself so she wouldn’t fall on top of the other woman. “Anna? D-Do you remember me?”

Wiping at her tears and offering a smile, Katherine patiently watched as Anna turned to face her, analyzing her features with utmost focus. Beginning to lose hope, the second Queen tried not to be upset.

Even if Anna liked her enough not to act as a superior, it didn’t mean she held Katherine so dearly in her heart, especially since she’d been the real cause of Anna’s divorce.

However, just then, Anna smiled.

“I can recognize Katherine Howard anywhere. Even if she looks a bit changed.”

Filled with glee, Katherine kneeled down, grabbing Anna’s hand. Her skin was warm, making Katherine realize she was actually feverish. “You remembered me.”

“I could never forget you, liebling.”

The pet name flooded her with memories. Memories of the two of them dancing at parties, late conversations in Anna’s chambers and walks in the gardens. Memories that were also left untainted, her friendship with Anna probably being the brightest part of her time at court.

“How are you?” Anna inquired, and the more she spoke, the more the younger girl realized how much she’d missed hearing her accent. 

“Me? How are you?” Katherine asked, voice a bit choked up. “There’s no need to worry about me.”

“I’ll always worry about you, Katherine Howard. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Katherine couldn’t keep it in anymore, her tears beginning to fall more and more, staining her face. She could feel Catalina’s hand on her back, rubbing comforting circles in an attempt to calm her down.

“Sorry to interrupt your reunion,” Anne spoke up. “It’s July 16th. Anything happened to you on this date?”

Anna opened her mouth to speak, but it suddenly felt dry. “I died… Didn’t I?”

“There’s no way we could know. But I was executed on May 19th, and that’s when I woke up, so… We have a pattern.”

“May 19th?” The fourth Queen's eyes blinked at the realization. “You’re Anne-”

“Boleyn?” Catalina looked up after making sure Katherine was alright. “Unfortunately, yes. And I’m Catherine of Aragon, but you can call me Catalina. It’s my Spanish name.”

“Well I, for one, call her ‘Lina’.” Anne wiggled her eyebrows as the woman scowled in return. “It drives her up the wall.”

Katherine giggled, and Anna felt more relaxed. If those women made Katherine smile, if the girl was comfortable around them, then maybe Anna could get used to being there.

…

As days went by and Anna’s stomach ache got better - which had happened probably because of the illness that had caused her death, just like with Catalina’s heart - the fourth Queen got used to having the other women around, especially Katherine.

The younger girl had been glued to her side and Catalina would always seize the opportunity to point out Anne’s jealousy whenever the two were alone, earning scowls and death glares in return.

Anne had been having a hard time sharing her cousin’s attention with Anna, but she had no hard feelings for the fourth Queen. Anna was extremely fun, and was more than glad to provide her housemates with famous German brands of mead and beer, and, most importantly, make sure Katherine didn’t have too much, to the displeasure of the girl.

Catalina wasn’t the biggest fan of them, but she would participate in those nights with a glass of wine or two, while Anne was all for it, engaging in Anna’s drinking competition until she passed out against Catalina’s shoulder, getting shoved off almost immediately.

At that point, the first three Queens to come back had become used to the modernity of the world, but Anna was the fastest to adapt. She’d play games with Anne on the console and sing along with Katherine to the loud music that came from tiny speakers, and, having also taken over the job of helping Catalina in the kitchen - even she didn’t know how to make much - Anna enjoyed those times to share stories of her birth country to someone who understood.

Like Anna, Catalina had never gotten the chance to go back to where she was from, and both of them began building dreams of revisiting Germany and Spain at some point, to see how much everything had changed. Anna would tell stories about her siblings - Sibylle, Amalia and William - and how she’d been there on Mary’s coronation.

Catalina was always delighted to hear about her daughter, and Anna was certainly the one to go to. Having lived longer than the rest, she had plenty of tales of Mary and Elizabeth, having remained friendly with both of them, always inviting them to visit or going to court herself.

In their eyes, Anna was like the sun - she was warm and seemed to brighten their days, always making the other three laugh - but Katherine knew there was something she was hiding, but couldn’t bring herself to ask.

Until one day, when she noticed the fourth Queen covering a mirror inside her bedroom. 

She had been waiting outside for a good 20 minutes, trying to be patient as Anna got ready to go to the store with her. Catalina needed more tomato sauce and black pepper - which they were astonished to find out was more than available now - and they needed to leave soon, so as to not delay dinner.

When she got frustrated, Katherine knocked twice before turning the door handle, stopping dead in her tracks as she was met with the sight of a tearing Anna dropping a bed sheet over her mirror.

“Anna?”

The woman had turned to her with widened eyes, before her arms fell against her sides in frustration. “It’s all wrong, I’m all wrong!”

She began sobbing uncontrollably, wrapping her arms around herself and falling back on the mattress. Snapping out of her thoughts, Katherise rushed to her side, shaking her head firmly.

“No. No, Anna, that’s not true!”

“Ja, it is! That portrait was a lie that Henry saw right through the moment he took a look at my face. I’m all wrong, Katherine!”

Feeling her blood boiling, Katherine slammed her hand against the bed, alarming the older woman. “Anna of Cleves, I will not stand for you speaking ill of yourself when nothing could be further from the truth! Henry was old and disgusting, he had no right to treat you that way and even less to get you to believe his lies.” She was seething, but ignored when Anna asked her to calm down. “It wasn’t fair, Anna. You looked just like your portrait, if not prettier, and I swear I never understood why he said those hurtful things about you, but you are so incredibly dear to me, and it breaks my heart to see you like this.”

Standing up, Katherine walked towards the mirror, pulling the bed sheet down, smiling as it hit the floor. “I see a pretty, smart and strong woman, who treated everyone around her with a kind of respect Henry had never heard of. I admired you so much back then, and I guess I admire you even more now, because you’ve always been by my side, even when I caused your disgrace. For that, I deeply apologize, but I will never do so for telling you, no matter how many times you need to hear it, that…” Katherine stuck her tongue out, deeply focused on remembering Anna’s quick lessons. “Du bist… wunder…schön?”

With shiny eyes and a quivering chin, Anna allowed herself to laugh softly, which quickly turned into a surprised yelp as Katherine threw herself against the fourth Queen, wrapping her into a tight hug. 

It had been her choice, and for once, Katherine didn’t feel bothered. Anna’s arms circled her waist not too strongly, with just the right amount of force to make her feel comfortable and safe. She could feel the older woman’s tears wetting the fabric of her shirt, but Katherine didn’t care.

The hug went on for minutes, until Anna’s body had stopped shaking and she pulled away with a huge smile, wiping her face. “Thank you so much, liebling. And that was good German right there, kätzchen, I’m proud of you. Listen to me when I tell you that no matter what happened to me, there was nothing you could have done, it was Henry and Henry only. So don’t blame yourself, for you have always been innocent.”

Katherine felt choked up, unable to properly process the fourth Queen’s final statement. She wondered if Anna had said it that way to reference her accusations, or if she was just looking too deep into it, but if that were the case, Katherine could pretend she really believed her, just like she knew Anna didn’t completely believe her as well.

“You’re one of the most beautiful people I know, Anna. Inside and out. I’m proud of you.”

With the realization that both of them were crying by then, the duo laughed. It was enough to attract the attention of the other women, with Catalina’s head peeking through the door a few moments later. “Are you both alright, niñas?”

Taking a look at Katherine with soft eyes, Anna nodded. 

“Ja. We’re alright.”

Katherine sighed happily. We’re alright.

Chapter Text

Two months later, Katherine was finally able to recognize her own progress.

Anna had helped her realize that there were people who would hug her without an ulterior motive, that the Queens never expected anything in return from her, which was a breath of fresh air. Before, Katherine would begin to spiral if she was touched beyond simple hand holding, whilst now, her days were filled with a lot of hugging and showcases of affection. 

She’d let Anna twirl her around as they danced, just like old times, and sleep over at Anne’s room, her head resting comfortably on her cousin’s lap as the second Queen played with the ends of her hair - baby steps. Hair was one of the most sensitive and triggering parts for her, and Anne was the only one who could touch it without getting a negative reaction.

If the night was particularly bad - with nightmares plaguing her mind - Katherine wouldn’t feel obnoxious for sneaking into Catalina’s room, allowing the older woman to hold her close, pressing a comforting kiss to her temple, and sometimes even singing a Spanish lullaby.

It made Katherine wonder if that was what motherly affection felt like. 

The house was nice and safe. 

The Queens were safe.

They all trusted each other to some level - even Anne and Catalina, who were still fully committed to their silent truce - and at that point, everyone already knew the drill for when a sudden and maybe scary noise came from upstairs.

The fourth time it happened, Anne had been home alone, and would tell everyone minutes after, right when they got home, how she “hadn’t been scared at all and knew exactly what to do”, while side-eyeing the first Queen.

Catalina had been delighted when she found out that their newcomer was Catherine Parr, Henry’s sixth and final wife, and her goddaughter.

Catherine was quiet, just letting out a few whines and groans, grabbing her abdomen with tears in her eyes. Her silence was worrying, and Katherine found herself looking back at Anna.

“What?” The German asked, crossing her arms defensively, her accent thickening. “We weren’t close, I don’t know her.”

Rolling her eyes, Anne lifted up her tablet, showing them an article about the sixth Queen. “Childbed fever. At least that’s what it says here, so… No wonder she’s in a lot of pain.”

Catalina snatched the device away from her with a stern expression. “I thought we all had a silent agreement of never researching about each other’s lives, Boleyn.”

“We have silent agreements over many things and I’m pretty sure this was never one of them, Aragon.” Anne huffed, trying to get the object back, proving to be unable to once Catalina lifted it up above her head, due to her short height. “Besides, why would I even think that? We lived together before, you know about my life!”

“Much to my chagrin…”

“Please, she must be exhausted!” Katherine put herself in between them. “If you’re going to fight, can you at least do it outside of Catherine’s room?”

“We were not going to fight.” 

Both Queens had answered at the same time, eliciting a laugh from all of them - even a few weak chuckles from the bedridden woman.

“W-Where am I exactly?”

Catalina carefully seated next to her and began retelling their story, from the moment she woke up all alone, to how all of Henry’s other wives were reappearing as their death days came.

Anne had instructed her cousin to get more wet towels so they could get Catherine’s temperature down, the younger girl happily complying and taking Anna with her. Upon entering the main bathroom at the end of the corridor, she noticed the fourth Queen uncomfortably shifting at the doorway.

“Are you alright, Anna?”

The German sighed deeply, a light blush spreading across her cheeks. “Are you… fine with Parr being here?”

Tilting her head to the side, Katherine frowned as she closed the tap. “What do you mean?”

“I just… She was Henry’s wife after you, after your death. Doesn’t it feel weird?”

Katherine smiled softly, shaking her head as she took Anna’s hand. “Anna, I was his wife after you. Do you feel weird?”

“Nein!” The older woman vehemently shook her head. “Of course not, kätzchen. But we’re different, we have always been friends-”

“Exactly,” Katherine put her chin up in satisfaction. “And I know absolutely nothing about Catherine Parr, but I guarantee she’s good. We’ll get to know each other and it’ll be fine, no need to worry.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“Well, you’re good. And so are Annie and Catalina. I trust you guys.”

Surprising herself at the sureness and confidence in her own statement, Katherine felt happy. Those women always turned out to be good, no matter what they had been through. February 13th felt extremely far away, Katherine was no longer lonely or scared.

“She deserves this chance too. We all do.”

…

Catherine Parr was reserved - very quiet and observant. 

It was obvious to Katherine that she was having a difficult time adjusting to the house and being with everyone else, not because she didn’t like them - at least, Katherine didn’t think that was the problem - but because of her introverted personality and the fact that the other four Queens had had more time with each other.

Still, if there was someone determined to get her out of her shell, it was the one and only Anne Boleyn. Her cousin had been extremely interested over the fact that Catherine had published books under her own name, and it made her happy that the two would spend time together discussing religion - both being protestant - and poetry, one of Anne’s favorite genres.

Despite seeming to enjoy those moments, Katherine began to notice how the sixth Queen seemed more tense around Anne, biting her lip and looking away with a saddened expression. 

“It’s Boleyn we’re talking about, querida.” Catalina offered her in a joking manner once Katherine told her what she’d seen. “She can be a little bit too much for anyone who’s just trying to understand how they are even alive in the first place.”

It didn’t defuse Katherine’s worries. Whenever she was too stuck in the past to sleep, if she paid enough attention, the fifth Queen could hear Catherine pacing back and forth in her own room, until very late at night - or at some point, early in the morning.

“Cathy is just introverted,” Anne smiled at her cousin, turning around on the mattress to face her. “Remember how you were until we got close, chaton? Like that. I just think each one of us needs a different amount of time to get used to things, and there’s still a lot about the past that we need to unpack.”

“‘Cathy’?” The younger girl frowned, making the second Queen laugh.

“Even if Aragon’s going by ‘Lina’-”

“She’s really not. Catalina hates when you call her that.” Katherine interrupted, receiving an eye roll in return.

“-Even if she’s going by ‘Lina’, there are still two ‘Catherines’, so I took to calling her Cathy.”

“And you think something happened in the past that’s holding her back?”

If that was the case, Katherine couldn’t blame her. No matter how much comfort Anna gave her, how safe she felt with Anne or how many nights Catalina held her close while whispering reassuring words, she was still chased by ghosts of her past, haunting her dreams with lingering touches that made her skin crawl.

Mannox.

Dereham.

Henry.

Thomas.

From the bottom of her heart, Katherine wished the sixth Queen hadn’t been through the same things. But she doubted, it was just too unlikely. Catherine Parr didn’t seem dirty, which was exactly how she felt.

“Maybe...” Anne conceded, sending her a smile. “If that was the case, we could help her out. Aren’t we always here for each other in times of need?”

Grinning and draping her arm across Anne’s waist, sighing as her cousin kissed her forehead, Katherine nodded.

“We should let her come to us when she’s ready. I just hope Catherine knows there will be nothing but support waiting for her.” Then, she closed her eyes.

Everything was alright.

Until it wasn’t.

…

Despite trying to keep up her façade and the mood around the house nothing but positive, September was a hard month for Anne, maybe even more than May.

Whenever she wasn’t with Cathy, distracting herself with their new housemate, Anne would be up in her room, sometimes not allowing anyone to stay with her. After expressing her concerns to Catalina during one dinner the second Queen had chosen to spend upstairs, Katherine had been surprised to get an actual answer from the older woman.

“She’s been like this since the month started, querida. Remember September 07th? We were all busy helping Catherine with her sickness. That day was Elizabeth’s birthday.”

The revelation made Katherine stare at her wide eyed, not able to hide her own guilt. She had never had any children of her own, and there was no way the fifth Queen could possibly understand what it felt like to both Anne and Catalina to have their daughters taken away from them.

Still, it made her feel awful to know her cousin had been suffering in silence and she had no idea as to why. Katherine had forgotten Elizabeth’s birthday, who had been, ideally or not, her stepdaughter. How could she have-

“Mija,” Catalina interrupted her spiral, arms firmly holding her shoulders. “It’s alright. I only remembered late at night that day, Boleyn would never blame you for it. But we all had to keep things on track for Catherine’s benefit, and I don’t think she has had a chance to properly mourn.”

Suddenly, something else popped up in the young girl’s mind.

Katherine had woken up on her death day - February 13th. It had been only 5 days before…

“Have you?” She asked, looking at Catalina in desperation. “February 18th, wasn’t it? Mary’s birthday.”

Looking down sadly, Catalina’s shoulders recoiled. When their gazes met again, Katherine winced at the tears coating the other’s eyes. 

“Don’t think for one second that I’m angry with you, mija. You didn’t choose when you died, nor when you came back. Just like my Mary didn’t choose when she was born.” The first Queen let out a light chuckle. “I couldn’t abandon you in that situation. Your scar had begun to form, it was healing slowly, and you still couldn’t talk… If I had just left you to mourn in my room, what kind of person would I be? I couldn’t leave you suffering.”

“Still, Catalina!” The girl whined, shrugging her hands off. “You and Anne… You deserve to grieve! And you shouldn’t have to lock yourselves away from the rest of us, we should-”

“Querida,” Catalina called her again, her voice firm but not angry. “Katherine. Boleyn and I may not have many things in common, but sometimes the stars align and it happens… We lost our babies. Henr- He took us away from them, and that will never not hurt. It’s very hard to come to terms with missing out on our children’s lives, and a little alone time can’t hurt, it’s good to process. But if you feel like this is harming your cousin somehow, just talk to her and be gentle. If Boleyn trusts you, I’m sure she’ll share this part of her life with you eventually.”

Pulling the older woman into a hug, Katherine pressed her face against the curve of Catalina's neck, smiling as she felt a kiss on the crown of her head. “I’m sorry for you and Mary. You would’ve been so much happier together…”

“Thank you, querida. I-”

Just then, a loud crash came from upstairs, like a door barging open. Frantic and forceful steps came rushing downstairs, until they were face to face with a red, furious looking Anne Boleyn. 

Her hair was disheveled and her cheeks were stained with tears. She looked around until she spotted Catherine Parr quietly reading in the living room recliner, marching towards the sixth Queen and yanking the book from her hands, tossing it aside.

“How could you?!”

“Annie?”

“Boleyn, what is going-”

Catalina’s sentence was cut off by Anne shoving her tablet on their faces. “Read it. Now. Read it, Katherine!”

Grabbing the object from her hands and swallowing hard before focusing on the screen, she realized it was an article about Elizabeth.

“‘Thomas Seymour asked the 13-year-old Princess Elizabeth to marry him by letter in February 1547… Elizabeth rejected his proposal elegantly, also by letter, saying she was too young (she was 13 years old; he, at 38, was 25 years older than she)’.” Lifting up her eyes, Katherine could feel herself getting uneasy, some parts of the story hitting close to home. “‘[...] Within a month or so of receiving her rejection, Thomas Seymour married the queen dowager Catherine Parr… At almost exactly this time, Elizabeth started living with Catherine. Soon afterwards, Thomas moved in to live with his new wife... According to testimonies given in 1549 by Elizabeth’s governess and companion, Kat Ashley… Elizabeth started to receive early-morning visits from him. He would “make as though he would come at her” and she would shrink back. The next day, she rose earlier so that he wouldn’t find her in bed, but when he arrived, she was still dressed only in… a nightdress, he in a short nightgown, “barelegged in his slippers”. He greeted her and reached out to “strike her on the back or the buttocks familiarly”. Another time he…. climbed into Elizabeth’s bed, while she was still in it. She continued to get up earlier – if she were dressed, he would bid her good morning and then go on his way.’”

Katherine couldn’t bear to look at it anymore. She felt sick to her stomach, aware that her face was probably pale. Trying to meet Catherine Parr’s eyes, she found nothing but looks of regret and unmistakable guilt, that only grew along with her tears.

Catalina looked disturbed, staring dumbfounded at the article. “H-How did you find this, Anne?”

Under any other circumstances, Katherine would have gladly pointed out that it had been the first time Catalina had called her cousin by her first name, but her mind was just blank.

“I was researching about my daughter,” Anne sobbed. “My baby girl! I wanted to know what had become of her, and at first, all I could find were great things. I-I was so happy she’d grown to become an amazing and beloved Queen, and then… Then this popped up. I prayed that my daughter would be safe without me, my dear Lilibeth…”

“Anne, please-” Catherine’s voice was weak and pleading, but only sent the other woman into another fit of rage.

“You married that man! He tried to marry my baby when she was a child and you still married him-”

“I was in love!” The sixth Queen yelled, getting up from her seat. “Before Henry, I-”

“You let that monster touch her!” Anne’s breathing was erratic and ragged. “My Elizabeth went to live with you! She trusted you, and you allowed your husband to assault her. For God’s sake, Catherine, you joined him!”

“I thought he was playing with her!” At Anne’s scoff, Catherine nodded her head again. “I did, I promise! When I realized, when I saw- You have no idea how I felt!”

“Oh, how?!” Anne stepped forward, pushing the woman’s shoulders. “Betrayed? Did you think Elizabeth was trying to steal him? That she was a depraved whore just like her mother?!”

“Of course not, Anne! She was a child, just a child!” Catherine cried louder. “I was so disturbed by Thomas, but I was pregnant! I had no choice but to stay with him, so I sent her away because I wanted Elizabeth to be safe, and she wasn’t. I’m so sorry that she wasn’t!”

“Elizabeth was terrified, Catherine! She begged him not to touch her, begged others to prevent him from doing so, I read everything. And you had the audacity to look me in the eyes all this time and act as though this had never happened? I spent every single day, even Elizabeth’s birthday, taking care of you while you hid the fact that my baby was violated under your care!”

Snapping out of her shock, Catalina stepped forward, raising her arms in redemption when Anne jumped away from her, before gently wrapping one arm around her shoulders, pulling her back. “Come on Anne, let’s go upstairs. I’ll make you a cup of tea, you’re barely breathing right now and your body’s shaking. You two can discuss this some other time, once you’re both calmer.”

Anne complied, but shook her head. “I never want to speak to her again.”

When the first two Queens were gone, Katherine blocked the tablet’s screen as the sixth Queen fell back on her seat, head on her hands as she cried.

“W-Why didn’t you protect her?” The fifth Queen’s voice was no louder than a whisper, the world beginning to spin around her. Catherine looked up and tried to reach out, biting back a sob as the younger girl violently flinched back.

“Kat-”

“I can’t even look at you right now.”

Once she turned around, Katherine noticed Anna standing near the staircase, arms crossed and an emotionless expression stamped on her face. As their eyes met, Katherine’s shoulders began to shake.

Mannox.

Dereham.

Henry.

Thomas.

Four times that no one protected her. Did she even deserve to be protected?

She hadn’t asked for it. Elizabeth was innocent, Katherine had sent them mixed signals.

Elizabeth begged for help. Katherine had never said ‘no’.

Mannox.

Dereham.

Henry.

Thomas.

Anna’s arms were around her before she hit the floor.

She couldn’t breathe.

Chapter Text

The environment was unbearable. It made Katherine feel like she was still suffocating.

The Queens were all plagued by nightmares ever since they had been brought back, but since Anne and Catherine’s fight, it had gotten worse.

Katherine woke up screaming most of the time, with Catalina instantly going to comfort her, unless she was already comforting Anne. Ever since that day, their relationship had seemed to get better, and the first two Queens could actually be found in the same room frequently, mostly reading or watching TV.

Whenever the first Queen was unavailable, Anna would come to her rescue. The German managed to be the most neutral of them, making sure Catherine was alright and that she didn’t drown herself in loneliness.

Anne had been uncomfortable and unhappy at first, but Anna had been adamant on doing it, Catalina agreeing not long after.

It reminded Katherine that both of them had died pretty much all alone. They understood loneliness better than anyone and despite everything, they didn’t want Catherine to feel the same way.

The sixth Queen had dark bags under her eyes, always carrying a mug of coffee around. Katherine wondered if she refused to sleep so she wouldn’t have nightmares as well, and as much as the idea bothered and saddened her, the girl just couldn’t bring herself to get close to her again.

It became too much.

So, for the first time in a long time, they were miserable and not at all ready for when they heard noises coming from the only remaining room.

“Who are we missing again?” Anna asked, breaking the silence as they rushed upstairs, walking between Anne and Catherine, just in case.

“Jane Seymour.”

The response had come from the other four at the same time, causing Anna to widen her eyes and let out a breathy laugh, the fellow Queens joining in, which eased the tension in the air a bit.

“I’ll go.” Catalina raised her hand. “She was my Lady in Waiting, I want to make sure she’s not too hurt.”

“Can- Can I come too?” Catherine’s small voice said in the background, causing Anne to look away, arms crossed. “She died from the same thing as me… I want to help.”

“Of course,” The first Queen nodded. “I’m sure she’ll be thankful to have someone who’s been through the same. Kat, are you coming as well?”

“I, hm…” She blushed and cleared her throat, letting out a breath as she felt Anne’s hand on her back, rubbing circles. “I think I’ll sit this one out, thank you. But I’ll make sure to check on her later and help you make her something to eat.”

Catalina beamed, giving her a kiss on the forehead before gesturing to the fourth Queen. “Anna?”

The German’s eyes softened. “Of course.”

The cousins looked at each other before turning around and walking away, Katherine looking back just in time to see the door being pushed open and catch the sight of blonde hair spread over the pillow.

Anne had closed the door behind them, throwing herself into the bed, not looking away from the ceiling as she patted the spot next to her, which Katherine rushed to occupy.

Both were just laying there, in a comfortable silence, before the younger girl was able to hear the other Queens’ voices, as well as someone crying. She turned her head to face Anne.

“How are you feeling?”

“About what?”

Katherine shrugged, fidgeting with the sleeve of her hoodie. “Jane Seymour… That’s a big deal for you, isn’t it?”

Anne frowned. “It seems so small now… I think if none of that had happened, I’d be so much angrier now, but- I mean, nothing could possibly hurt me more than reading what my Lilibeth went through. Is that stupid?”

Shaking her head probably too quickly, Katherine grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Not at all. Elizabeth was a wonderful girl, Annie, I really loved her. And I love her still. So because of that… Please don’t get mad at me, but I just- I don’t think Catherine turned a blind eye or just, just blatantly refused to help her, you know?”

Shifting uncomfortably, Anne shook her head. “I could never get mad at you, chaton. But, forgive me if it’s just very hard for me to believe that.”

Taking a deep and shaky breath, Katherine swallowed the lump in her throat. She had delayed it for far too long, and if anyone should know about it, it was her cousin. Especially now.

“People who allow those things to happen, who just don’t care, are bad people, Anne. They’re selfish and evil. They see what’s happening and refuse to acknowledge it, or just straight up blame it on whoever it’s happening with.” Her voice was shaky and she had started to sound angry. “You beg them to help you, get exhausted of fending for yourself and trying to get someone, anyone, to believe you. A person that turns their back at you when that is happening… I just don’t think that’s the type of person ‘Cathy’ is.”

Anne’s eyes were shiny and her mouth was wide open. Katherine sat up, looking down at her hands and hunching forward, trembling.

“Kitty?”

“Do you know how I…” She stammered, her vision blurry because of the tears. “H-How I wake up screaming, how I sometimes push you guys away when you try to comfort me?”

Her cousin sat up next to her, silently nodding. 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you, I-I just… Sorry.” Katherine sniffed, hearing her heart beating fast and feeling Anne squeezing her hands back, in an attempt to ground her. “I was scared - terrified, actually - that you would judge me…”

“Never! Katherine, I would never judge you. You’re my little cousin, my blood, and I love you. I love you so very much, there’s nothing that might’ve happened to you that could possibly change that!”

Giving her a weak smile, she allowed a tear to travel down her cheek. “You say this now, Annie. But you don’t know anything… You have no idea how messed up I am.”

“That’s not true!”

Feeling her face hot, the younger girl just looked away, facing the door. “They told me they loved me too…”

“Who?”

“Elizabeth was 13…” Katherine bit her lip, turning back to the second Queen. “And so was I.”

Anne looked heartbroken, distraught. She shook her head, chin quivering. “No, chaton… Not you…”

“He was my music teacher,” Katherine let out, immediately bursting into tears. She had felt that kind of betrayal four consecutive times, but Mannox seemed to get to her the most. Being so young, Katherine hadn’t been aware of his true intentions, of the goals he was trying to achieve with each lesson. Why would she? “He seemed so nice… He would compliment my dresses and tell me I looked beautiful. I-I thought… He said I was special, mature.”

At the time, Katherine had felt special. With a family as big as hers, she hardly got any attention, and hearing so many good things about herself for once made her feel like there could be someone out there that really loved her.

Mannox had said he loved her.

He lied.

“His name was Henry Mannox.” Katherine felt shivers down her spine, shutting her eyes tight, scared of Anne’s reaction. “He started to… to touch me. And it felt weird so I asked him to stop, but he wouldn’t stop! He got on t-top of me and kissed me… Then he lifted up my skirt-”

“Kat, stop.” Anne interrupted with a choked voice. “You don’t have to tell me-”

“I want to tell you!” Katherine cried, letting go of Anne’s hand to pull her knees up to her chest. “He controlled me, they all did. Still do. And I’m so tired of being terrified because of them, of letting them get to my head every time I go to sleep.”

Anne gulped but nodded. “Did he-”

“Yeah,” Her voice was small, like a whisper. “And it hurt so bad… I was so scared of him after that, I told my father about it. He- He didn’t believe me, said I must’ve seduced him somehow. That he was a man of ‘good virtue’ and I was a…”

Her cousin growled. “Fils de pute!”

“Then there was Dereham. Francis Dereham. He worked for my step grandmother and I was told to assist him. I tried to shut down his advances, but he… he just wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, so I did everything he said, and one day my granny caught us…”

“Katherine-”

“You don’t understand, Annie… When someone that’s supposed to love and care for you looks at you with so much disgust- I can’t even describe it. I was crushed. I-I should’ve denied it more, but he just… She kicked me out, called me a whore. No one ever saw me as anything other than guilty, and my father sent me to court to clean up the family name.”

“Henry.” Anne stated, earning a nod. 

“You know how that one ended.” Katherine made a motion of slitting her throat, stomach churning at the memories. “He was 30 years older than me and the King. Who was I to oppose, how could I oppose? So I posed as a frivolous doll, to whom only he was allowed to play with.”

“We had no choice when it came to Henry, Katherine.” The second Queen told her gently. “It wasn’t your fault. He was disgusting for marrying someone young enough to be his own daughter’s little sister!”

Katherine just shrugged. It broke Anne’s heart to see her cousin didn’t fully believe in what she’d said.

“When Catalina and I found you and I remembered we were cousins, I was so nervous, I think that’s why I was so jumpy and quiet. Everything ended because of Thomas Culpeper… He was my cousin too. Whenever we met each other at court, he would make me laugh and comfort me about everything. I was kind of freaking out about my position and all the sudden attention, about the public urge for me to give Henry a son… But Thomas was sweet, so I thought he was a true friend that made me feel safe. As always, I was wrong.”

That seemed to be her breaking point, and Anne had to hold back the urge to pull her cousin into a hug. She preferred to offer her hand and allow Katherine to decide whether she wanted to be touched or not, which she didn’t. It was hard to watch the young girl sob and shake, hands moving to cover her ears as she rocked back and forth until she calmed down.

“H-He was just like the others. It’s never, ever, different. And it hurt so much to have reality shatter in my face and realize he just took advantage of me, of my trust in him… I never meant anything to anyone.”

The second Queen gasped, making Katherine turn back to her in surprise. “You mean a lot to me, Kat! You’re the only good family I’ve had in a long time, and knowing I have you makes my days so much brighter. And it’s not just me, I don’t think I’ve seen Catalina look at someone with that much affection since we were at court and she was watching Mary. Plus, I think you’re the only reason Anna even bears with the rest of us!”

Proud that she’d earned a watery laugh from her, Anne tried offering her hand again, entwining their fingers when Katherine accepted it. “I love you, Katherine Howard. And I wish nothing more than to dig those men up so I can kill them again.”

Katherine sent her a timid smile. “Hm, Dereham and Thomas were executed. They had their heads displayed and all that… Even though I died the same way and that I was petrified, it sort of made me glad? To see it, I mean. I knew Henry hadn’t killed them because he thought they’d hurt me, but it was the only justice I ever got. Does that- Does that make me a bad person?”

“Of course not, chaton.” Anne told her gently. “They put you through hell, they don’t deserve a single drop of your compassion and empathy, you hear me? I know you may not believe me, but I will tell you every single day, until the end of times, that you had no blame whatsoever. You were just a child, you were in a situation where the other person had more power than you, but I guess… A lot of the assumptions people made about you were because of me. Because of my accusations and how we’re related, and I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am-”

“No, Annie.” Katherine shook her head. “It had nothing to do with you, no matter what people said! And I’m sorry if I implied you and Thomas were the same, that’s not at all what I had in mind. I love you too… So much, Annie, you have no idea. Family had always been against me, until now. I trust you.”

“And I you, Kitty.” Anne wiped her eyes, smiling. 

The fifth Queen threw her arms around her cousin’s shoulders. “Thank you for not blaming me.”

Anne quickly pulled her into the tightest hug they’d ever shared “It’ll be different now, alright? I promise.”

Katherine exhaled, closing her eyes.

“I believe you.”

…

Jane was as quiet as Catherine had been, if not more.

She looked shy and fearful, just full of anxiety, which Katherine understood a lot. The blonde seemed embarrassed of needing help, taking significantly longer to overcome the sickness and phantom pains that had taken over her.

In those moments of helping Catalina cook her a lighter meal, Katherine used the time to get some information on their new housemate. While keeping her eyes on the soup she was stirring, she cleared her throat.

“And how is she?”

Catalina stood by her side, sprinkling a bit more of salt in the pot before wiping her hands. “She’s very sweet, mija, doing a little better and even managing to sit up straight. I think you should meet her, you’d get along.”

The fifth Queen blushed, shrugging weakly. “Whenever Henry mentioned her to Edward he’d say such great things… I guess a part of me just feels weird, with the way she took Annie’s place and all… I-I’m sorry, Catalina. That probably sounded absurd, she took your place and-”

“Querida,” Catalina interrupted softly, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Don’t apologize. I know you love your cousin, it’s only natural to be protective of her. The two of you have been glued to each other’s sides lately…”

“Mhmm.” Katherine bit her lower lip, glancing away quickly.

 “Is something wrong, gatita?”

Her tone made Katherine want to cry, curled up in the Spaniard’s arms like she was most nights, holding to that affection like a lifeline. It had been months since they first met, since Catalina nursed her neck and sang her to sleep for the first time, and the fifth Queen thought - knew, actually - that losing Catalina would break her again.

She envied Mary for being lucky enough to be born from Catalina of all people, from a mother that loved her with all her being, heart and soul, that fought with all her might to stay with her. Katherine also pitied her, for losing her mother in such a brutal way, both isolated from each other, kept apart by the one supposed to love them both.

The young girl thought of her own mother, Joyce, who had died when she was only 3 years old. Katherine wondered if she had done the things Catalina was now doing for her, if she had held her against her chest, kissed her forehead and taken care of her when she was unwell.

She wondered if she had looked at Katherine with soft and caring eyes, if she’d had such a dear space in her mother’s heart like Mary still had in Catalina’s. 

Katherine wondered if her mother would’ve believed her, almost as much as she wondered if Catalina would.

She envied Mary. Because Mary had kept herself pure until she found a husband, while Katherine allowed herself to be ruined over and over again. Mary had had the right to look down upon her, face twisted in disgust as her accusations became public. 

She envied Elizabeth, who had had the courage to ask for help, who had people who believed her, for having Catherine Parr, who had sent her away from her own protection. And she thanked God, her Lord, for allowing her to keep Anne in her life, her dear cousin - a sister at heart - who, for some reason, took her side as soon as she’d confessed what her tormentors had done.

Katherine knew she probably wouldn’t be as lucky with Catalina.

It made her heart feel heavier, it drew the air from her lungs.

“I want to tell you.” She whispered, voice strained. “I promise I do.”

Catalina just gave her an understanding nod, turning off the stove and handing her a pair of gloves. “And I will be here to hear it whenever your heart is ready. I promise I will.”

Katherine didn’t deserve her.

“Now, put the gloves on and help me set the table, would you?”

“Of course.” The girl sniffled, fingers wiping at the corners of her eyes. “Can I take the tray up to Jane’s room? I think you’re right, I need to get to know her.”

The Spaniard’s smile grew with pride, finishing putting the cutlery and napkin on the tray before she handed it to her. “Good job, gatita.”

Praises warmed her heart, she’d learned. Whenever Catalina approved her choices, Anne celebrated her victories in chess - even if Katherine suspected she had let her win the first few times, just to build up her confidence - or Anna complimented her dancing.

The walk upstairs to Jane’s bedroom felt endless, with Katherine mentally preparing herself and stopping before the door to fix her hair. Jane had been elegant and exemplary - or so she’d heard - and she wanted to make a good first impression.

Knocking on the dark wood four times as she always did, Katherine cracked it open, offering her best sympathetic smile. “Excuse me?” 

“Come in, love.”

The voice was stronger than she had previously heard, louder now that Katherine was there in person. 

“Hi, Jane. I, hm, I’m Katherine Howard, the fifth Queen and all that…” She chuckled, closing the door behind her and placing the tray above Jane’s legs. “Catalina and I made soup… again. I hope you’re not tired of eating this.”

Jane laughed, wholeheartedly and truthful, looking up at the young girl in front of her and gesturing to the armchair beside her bed. The blonde now understood Catalina’s description of Henry’s fifth wife, which both made her smile and want to scream.

She thought back to when she was Catalina’s Lady in Waiting, watching in joy a young Princess Mary pace around the halls, sometimes running from the other Ladies and others walking gracefully with a Bible in her hands, heading for her studies.

Katherine couldn’t be much older than Mary had been back then, with Jane sure she wasn’t even in her twenties yet. The third wife had died thinking - a bit foolishly, perhaps - that Henry would be eternally loyal to her, especially after her dear Edward’s birth, and it had secretly been infuriating to discover that her successor, Anna, was standing so close when she woke up.

The sight of a girl that young, however, just made Jane finally realize the true amount of Henry’s despair for another son, to ensure he had enough heirs, despite his two daughters. That he had chosen a girl barely eligible for marriage in order to achieve it.

“Younger than Mary herself,” Catalina had told her. “But avoid the topic unless she brings it up first.”

“Oh, I could never!” Jane smiled sheepishly. “Your cooking is delicious. Thank you for bringing it to me.”

“It’s more Catalina than me, but you’re welcome.” Katherine sat down, looking around the room. “I’m sorry I’ve failed to visit you before. Things have been quite tense, even before we woke up.”

“Yes, Catalina has warned me. She told me you were with your cousin, is that right?”

The fifth Queen moved backwards, eyebrows knit together as she tensely fidgeted with the charm of the bracelet Anna had gifted her. “Yes, why?”

Her tone was defensive and louder than before. She thought it was pointless to be so protective of Anne, as Jane was obviously in no position to hurt anyone, and her cousin was strong enough to hold her own. Katherine was then immediately hit with a wave of shame - Jane was worthy of her trust just as much as the other Queens. There was no reason to imply she had an ulterior motive to ask about Anne, no matter what history they may have had.

Still, they were each other’s only family, and nothing would stop the cousins from watching out for each other.

“I must assure you I hold no grudges towards Anne Boleyn.” Jane said it slowly as she placed a napkin down. “I don’t think I have the right to it, anyhow. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Katherine, and it would be lovely if we could be friends, but I understand if you don’t feel comfortable with that yet. I don’t expect you to, nor do I expect Anne to be warm towards me, for I know I have a part in her execution.”

Looking at Jane now, Katherine allowed a soft smile to take over her face. The blonde hair with the light hazel eyes and her nose and face shapes - it was like Edward was standing right in front of her. Back when she married Henry, in 1540, Edward had been only 3 years old, and she all but loved to play with him.

It guilted her to look at Jane and think that she got to be with Edward longer than his own mother, that Jane never got to hear his cute baby voice and the way he couldn’t pronounce the “R” on Katherine’s name. That Jane never got to see how Edward was the child to look the least like Henry, almost like he was there to remind him of the wife he’d lost.

“I’m sorry if I came off as defensive,” Katherine blushed. “Anne is very dear to me, but I do wish for us to be friends. And Anne might come around… She thinks I haven’t noticed how she and Catalina spend more time together now, but I’m afraid they’ll go back to the constant bickering if I dare to bring it up.”

It made Jane laugh again. Katherine could see why she had been seen as so holy and heavenly by the people. Jane Seymour appeared to be like her in the sense that they were low in the hierarchy in comparison to Henry’s other wives, and as Anne had told her - with some not so kind words at first - she hadn’t gotten the best education, not reaching her cousin’s level of intellect. 

Katherine couldn’t judge her for it. Independent of that, Jane could easily be viewed as a Queen, she had the beauty and elegance, with a kind choice of words - which perhaps were needed and effective in appeasing Henry’s temper.

She wondered if Jane had used them to get Mary and Elizabeth back on their father’s graces, if that was how she’d gotten Mary to like her - which Katherine herself failed miserably to achieve.

“Well, you should’ve seen them in the past… Or not. It wasn’t pretty. It makes me happy to hear they’re getting over their differences.”

“It’s all due to the recent events, I’m afraid.” The fifth Queen cringed at the memories of Catherine’s guilt stricken face and Anne’s furious screams. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of the details…”

“Catalina summed it up for me.” Jane took a sip from her water, face suddenly dark and sorrowful. “I wanted to tell Anne how sorry I am for my brother. If I had known the monster he turned out to be… Well, I suppose there is nothing I could’ve actually done with the little time I had, but it still pains me to imagine what Elizabeth had to endure.”

“H-He was your brother?” Color must have drained from her face, because Jane looked even more guilty. “He must’ve met Elizabeth when she was much younger if that’s the case…”

God, Katherine wanted to be sick. Of course, she had no idea if Thomas Seymour had met the young Princess when Jane was Queen, but he had certainly heard of her. Of the tiny and smart 4 year old that was now his sister’s stepdaughter. Whom he waited to turn 13 in order to propose to.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Katherine.” Jane whispered, setting the spoon aside to face her. “Words fail me, in all honesty.”

“Me too.” Katherine pursed her lips, but soon shook her head. “But we can’t help the people we’re related with, can we? His actions are not your fault, I’m sure if you give Anne some more time, she won’t think of it like that. I don’t think she does now… Everything’s just too fresh.”

Thomas.

Thomas.

Thomas.

“He was my cousin too.” She had told Anne.

Why was it always a Thomas?

“I understand.” Jane smiled sadly.

“Enough of this!” Katherine exclaimed, half-startling the other woman. “You must be bored up here. I know Catalina and Catherine visit you often, but I’m sure you’re still confused by all the modernity around the house. Is there anything I can fetch you to make your healing time more enjoyable? Perhaps some books or-”

“No books!” Jane interrupted all too quickly, face flushed. But the younger girl hadn’t noticed her change, just choosing to patiently wait for her answer. “I have always enjoyed embroidery and needlework… Do you happen to have the materials for it here?”

The fifth Queen beamed, her mood back up. “I don’t think we do at the moment, but I’ll make sure to get Anna to take me to the store tomorrow. We’ll get everything you need. Are you good at it?”

“I’ve always been very proud of my work,” Jane grinned back, rubbing her eyes. “Perhaps I could make you something? For you to hang in your bedroom.”

Delighted, Katherine let out a squeal. “I would love it! I’m very grateful, Jane, seriously. Make me whatever you wish, I’m sure it’ll come out perfect.”

“Then we have a deal.” The third Queen rested her head back on her pillow, with the younger girl promptly removing the tray and standing back up. “Thank you for the wonderful dinner and just as wonderful company, Katherine. Will you come tomorrow?”

Ready to leave the other to rest, Katherine surprised herself when she gave a nod.

“I’ll pay you a visit at lunch!” Once outside, she gave the blonde a wave. “Rest well, Jane.”

Chapter Text

Katherine woke up to a scream, taking a sleepy glance to the calendar before jumping out of bed, hissing as her feet kicked her dresser and throwing a pink cardigan on - the one Jane had surprised her with after she took to knitting - before rushing to the first bedroom on the other side of the corridor.

Her heart squeezed with the guilt of not having stayed the night to promptly reassure Catalina as soon as she woke up, but the feeling was quickly replaced by the surprise of finding Anne already there.

“It’s alright, chérie. It’s Anne Boleyn, remember? The one you despise, maybe not as much now? You’re in the 21st century, in January, understand? It’s your death day, but you’re alive, Lina. You hear me? You’re alive. The phantom pains will disappear, I promise.”

Watching her cousin let Catalina hold her hand with a death grip that was certainly hurting filled her with delight, and she bit back a smirk once Anne caught her eye, a blush appearing on her face and ears.

“When did you get here?”

“Just now. I woke up when she screamed.” Katherine walked up to them. “You?”

Anne shook her head. “I couldn’t sleep after four in the morning. I knew she’d wake up soon so I… I don’t know, it didn’t feel right to leave her alone when she was there for me on my day.”

Katherine smiled softly, her hand finding Anne’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault, Nan. You know that, right? Catalina was deadly sick, there was nothing you could’ve done.”

“I don’t think my past self would’ve wanted to do anything, even if she could…” Anne whispered, turning to face her cousin with terrified eyes, scared by her own statement. “I celebrated, Katherine. When she died. We were yellow and everything, mocking Catalina, mocking Mary, who was in so much grief it made her ill.”

Katherin winced, glancing back at the bedridden woman, her hand still firmly in her successor’s. “That was past-Anne. Present-Anne is here, holding and comforting her. Isn’t that what truly matters? That you both pushed your issues and pride aside to take care of each other, to make sure the other wouldn’t suffer alone?”

“I want to be better this lifetime, chaton. I want to be a better person.”

“You are, Annie.” Katherine said, resting her forehead against Anne’s temple. “You are.”

“María…”

The voice came from under them, Catalina looking up with hazy eyes and mouth slightly open. Looking back at her cousin, Anne shrugged.

“She’s a bit delirious. I think she’s called me that at least ten times in the past few minutes.”

“María was her Lady in Waiting,” Katherine soon explained, remembering the stories the first Queen had told her. “I think she was with Catalina when she passed. She’s stuck in that moment.”

“Do you need anything, Lina?” Anne leaned down, placing her hands on her forehead to check the woman’s temperature. 

“H-Have you brought… Have you brought me my Mary like I asked? Mi cielo…”

Catalina gestured towards Katherine, who looked back at Anne in astonishment. Her cousin looked even more heartbroken, her mind clearly reeling with memories of her longing to hold Elizabeth when she was imprisoned.

“I can’t pretend to be Mary,” Katherine muttered, face downcast. “It wouldn’t be fair. To either of them.”

“You don’t have to.” The second Queen promised. “She loves you for you. They just weren’t allowed to see each other… Her mind is playing with her. I’m sure she will be embarrassed later.”

“We won’t tell her, then.” The younger girl put it simply, receiving a complicent grin from her cousin. Katherine kneeled down next to Catalina, taking Anne’s place in holding her hands. “I’m sorry Mary’s not here, Catalina. Do you remember me? I’m Katherine Howard.”

Just then, a blonde woman knocked on the door, biting her lip as she stepped closer to Anne, handing her a bowl of water and some towels. 

“I brought the things you requested. Does she have a fever?”

“Quite a bit, yes.” Anne nodded, taking the objects from her and placing them on the nightstand. “I think it’ll be gone soon, though, nothing too bad.”

“I could ask Cathy to fetch the termometer,” Jane suggested kindly. “Just so we can be sure.”

Anne took a deep breath, but she wasn’t annoyed. “Thank you, Jane. Could you also start preparing the tea? I think it’ll be good for Lina.”

“Of course, Anne. I’ll make some white tea just for her, it’s good for the heart. Would you like some biscuits, Kat?”

Katherine lit up, excitement going through her veins at the prospect of Jane’s baked goods. The blonde, as soon as she had recovered, took to assisting Catalina in the kitchen, proving to be just a tad more reliable than Katherine, but baking was where she really excelled, with the rest of the Queens delighted to taste each cake, biscuit or pie.

“Which ones?!”

“I’ll have a fresh batch of plain butter biscuits soon.” Jane winked, and Katherine felt like swooning. 

“Did you hear that, Catalina?” She asked, lowering her voice and running her fingers through the woman’s messy curls. “Jane made butter biscuits, our favorites. We’ll love it, Jane, thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome, love. I’ll be back soon.”

As soon as she left, Katherine glanced up at Anne with a huge smile, laughing wholeheartedly as her cousin crossed her arms and looked away.

“What? I can be polite, you know…”

“I know that, Annie.” She promised, pulling Anne down to kneel next to her as the second Queen took to placing a wet towel on Catalina’s forehead, face softening as the older woman hummed at the feeling. “But I also know it’s still not easy for you, so I’m proud. I think you and Jane will get there, just as you and Catalina have.”

“Lina’s alright.” Anne shrugged off, making her younger cousin snort. “We still have a long road ahead, and I mean very long, but I think… No, I know it’s possible.”

"I'm so telling her you said that." Katherine smirked, yelping as Anne elbowed her on the ribs.

"Don't you dare!"

"Anne?"

The cousins looked down at Catalina, who was watching them with confusion, her mind appearing to be more clear. Anne grinned, winking at the first Queen. 

"Glad you're back with us, Lina. Kitty’s here too, she's holding your hand.”

Catalina looked up, eyes welling up with tears. She remembered being on her deathbed  in 1536, her trembling body against María and visions of her daughter smiling to her around the room. She had felt terribly alone, unable to see the dearest person in her life, to hold her close one last time.

The Spaniard had wondered many times how they had told Mary the news, if the messenger had been kind with their words or if they had been harsh and uncaring with her feelings. She wondered how Mary had reacted, if she had already cried as many tears as Catalina herself, if her daughter had had anyone to tell her it would be alright, to tell her how Catalina had wished to be by her side until her very last breath.

There, holding Katherine’s hand, Catalina felt comforted. No one could replace her daughter, no matter how many centuries went by. But at least this time, the first Queen wasn’t alone.

She had Katherine grasping her fingers and pressing a soft and respectful kiss to her knuckles, had Anne busying herself with keeping the towel on her forehead and brushing away stray curls. Catalina had Jane, entering the room with a smile and carefully handing her a teacup and a plate of warm biscuits, much to Katherine’s delight.

It made her heart feel something other than pain.

“Are you throwing a party without us?” 

The four Queens turned to the door, finding a smirking Anna with a hesitant Catherine at her heels, the smell of caffeine entering the room with them.

“We would never!” Katherine smiled at her friend, offering her spot to the fourth Queen before squeezing herself against Catalina’s side, feeling the warmth emanating from her.

“How are you feeling, madrina?”

Catalina smiled sadly at her goddaughter, taking a deep breath and wincing as her chest ached. “It’s hurting a lot right now, mija, but I’ll be alright.” It saddened Katherine to realize the first Queen’s tone indicated she was trying to reassure herself as much as she was trying to reassure the rest of them.

The fifth Queen looked up at Anne, nodding her head encouragingly, watching with a small smile as her cousin let go of the towels and looked over at Catherine. “Come sit next to her, Cathy.”

It had been just six simple words, but Katherine felt like crying as the sixth Queen’s surprised face softened, her own eyes shiny and her shoulders becoming less tense. Yes, Katherine knew she hadn’t been forgiven yet, not completely. The pain of what had happened to Elizabeth under Catherine’s care was too much for Anne to bear, and it filled her with a guilt that would never go away, no matter how many times she was told it hadn’t been her fault that Henry had gotten her killed, that she hadn’t been there for her girl.

Still, it had been months since the terrible incident in September, and Katherine knew Anne and Catherine had had a small talk in December, a small yet huge step to rekindling their relationship and for the sixth Queen to regain her trust.

The final month of 2017 had been harder for them, the first Christmas in their new life, with each other and without their friends and children. Katherine wouldn’t call it a celebration. 

It appeared to have been another silent agreement between the Queens that their first Christmas should be a whole lot different from when they were at court, back when Henry would throw celebrations and Mary and Elizabeth would dance together in matching dresses - it was a good memory, but tinted with melancholy.

Katherine had attended mass with Catalina, Jane accompanying them for the first time, while Anne, Anna and Catherine stayed at home, setting the table and taking the chosen bottles of wine and champagne from the cabinet.

According to Anna, the second and sixth Queens had disappeared upstairs for a while, but there had been no screaming match or breakdowns. Instead, Anne exited Catherine’s room with bloodshot eyes and a hurt look, but they both looked more at peace.

Katherine knew that despite their fight, the two women had already become great acquaintances, perhaps even friends, that Anne had given Catherine her nickname - which the fifth Queen really needed to start using - and that Catherine enjoyed their hours-long discussions of old poems and religion.

Their relationship wasn't beyond repair, and it made the youngest Queen sigh in relief. She couldn’t imagine having to choose between them, pick a side to be with and possibly living somewhere else.

None of the Queens were looking for a different home. The one they had woken up at was big enough, with more space than they might have even needed, and everyone seemed to be trying their best to keep things at peace, to stay together.

Katherine knew that, if it came down to it, she would choose Anne, because of course she would. Anne was her cousin, her sister, the one to prove to her that she could be loved by family, that there was someone, blood from her blood, that would always care for her. Someone that believed her.

It would hurt too much to leave the others, though. A part of her could picture Anna leaving with them, for Katherine’s sake. But she didn’t want to leave Jane, who had been a newfound friend, or Cathy, who she was still hoping to forgive and get to know better.

And just the mere thought of leaving Catalina crushed her heart. It made her embarrassed that she seemed to have become slightly dependent on the older woman’s comfort, but Katherine decided to allow herself to feel that way, even if, for the same reasons as hers, Catalina ended up choosing Cathy.

However, none of that was the case. The Queens were together, and even if the dreaded February 13th was getting closer, Katherine knew she could count on those women to protect her, to help her tune back into reality and regain control of her own mind and body. To bury those men even deeper in the ground and look forward to a different future.

One where she would live to turn 20, with her new family by her side.

They hadn’t known each other for long, it hadn’t even been a full year yet, but Katherine thought there was no other group of people she would rather explore that new life with.

As Anna made them laugh with a comment on how that scenario - his ex-wives, united - was probably Henry’s worst nightmare, Katherine caught Anne’s eyes, and the cousins smiled. 

That was love.

The way Katherine saw her as someone to look up to, how Anne’s shoulders relaxed as Catalina’s grin grew, her eyes opening wider instead of closing for a final time. The way Jane dared to throw a few timid comments here and there, some with dubious humor that made them roll their eyes but chuckle at the same time. The way Anna wrapped her arm around Cathy, pulling her closer and easing the mug out of her hands and placing it aside, the sixth Queen whining in protest before shaking her head and focusing on her godmother with relieved and tired eyes.

Love was growing between them, in more ways than one. It was Catalina’s maternal arms pulling her closer, and Katherine and Anne’s sisterly bond. It was Jane’s and Cathy’s newfound friendship. It was Anna brightening up the mood, no matter the situation, to bring a smile to her housemates’ faces.

It was Henry’s worst nightmare, and Katherine’s most wonderful dream.

So wonderful, in fact, that it made her believe again. 

Love came in the form of forehead kisses and dances around the living room. It came in the form of sleepovers and butter biscuits. It came from earning each other’s trust.

Katherine didn’t want to pick sides, so she chose all of them.

Six types of love, just to be safe… 

She thought, resting her cheek against Catalina’s head. 

To choose herself and make it different this time.