Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alisaie was pissed. Rightfully so.

Alphinaud had eaten her food, which easily could've been bought or made again- It wasn't anything special nor was it actually a big deal. But no matter how many words fumbled out of her mouth with her face turning bright red, nothing came to mind as to why it mattered so much.

She could easily go and buy an Archon Burger, those did always cheer her up, even if she had to remove the pickles, they were consistently good. Marching her way out of the estate, she continued to fight against what to say, what to think. 

It was just a stupid cake, a tea cake the size of her hand. Pacing back and forth she attempted to ignore the words of her pleading brother. The wind rattling nearby windows, leaves and bush being carried with it. “Alisaie- I’m sorry! I had no idea it was yours!” He chased, following her down the steps onto the main path that led into the plaza. “That's not the point!” She yelled back, her senses firing in rapid directions as the wind blew past. “T- Then what is?!” He cried, holding out his arms. “Please, Alisaie!”

She stood there almost motionless if it weren't for the bitter wind hitting against her. “Gods can you just let me be?” Alisaie almost turned around to say that, wanting to make her point of defiance. “But-” he attempted to speak, to try and understand the situation more than what he already knew. Alphinaud knew of his sister's fiery temper; it had grown more ferocious since they were all pulled into the First, but in the past days it had been numerous things that set her off more than he’d seen in a long time.

Giving up, he turned away. Maybe it was for the best. Ever since the Final Days, he, and especially Alisaie had been finding it difficult to settle down into not having the world constantly atop their adolescent shoulders. Despite him attempting to comfort her in these times, he knew deep down that his words fell deaf, who would blame her? Certainly not him.  Alisaie continued walking knowing she wouldn't be followed, the heel of her boots against the stone below her, drowned out by the wind as it whistled sharply through the trees. Muttering to herself, “Stupid cake... Stupid weather..” Hadn't she realised how cold it was, maybe the tantrum she was pulling could've stayed inside, preferably, in her room. But she had to commit, going back home right now would only be admitting that she was overreacting. Walking towards the library, she sulked into a corner by the large white pillars, stationing herself on a bench.

Elbow on her knee with chin in hand, she thought about the peace and quiet. 

Why was she so mad? Attempting to figure out why burnt a metaphorical hole in her brain. Staring out past the statue, the endless sea beyond sent a pang to her heart which she attempted to remedy by placing her hand on her chest. Every day, every night the horizon would scare her. Waking up early mornings where the sun had just risen made her panic, and she knew full well that it made Alphinaud cry. She would hear him at night sob like he would when they were younger, when they were little kids he’d sob as if he had fallen over and scraped himself from playing. A pain so sickening, so new and fresh that there wasn't much you could do but cry. 

The horizon reminded Alisaie of when they were in the Ragnarok. Watching the planet they had been stranded on in search of Meteion that fateful day, only to be forced back onto the ship after finally reuniting together and all she could do was plead. Throat burning up from her screaming, begging that Thancred would let her go, that the Warrior of Light couldn't do it alone- that he didn't have to.

But no matter how much she thrashed that day, she remembers distinctly curling up beside Urianger who waited and patiently sat with her, not saying a word. Dizzy beyond recognition from the immense grief that swept over her she almost threw up that day. Only for her whole body to ache once they had returned. Beaten, exhausted and bloodied within ilms of true death she couldn't take it anymore, the pain searing her throat still ached even now, the pathetic sobs of a child while everyone around her kept their resolve.

Even Alphinaud, surprisingly. But she heard him break down in the bathroom later that night, to the point where even her mother and father had to step in, she kept quiet. Behind her door knees against her forehead she had to be resilient, never again was she going to let herself fall apart like that. There was no need anymore, surely? The world had been saved. Zenos no more, Meteion restored and silenced her ultimate song. The Eorzean Alliance had things under control now to the point where the Scions had no purpose, there was going to be no threat like that for a very, very long time; she hoped. Thinking back on why she was even mad in the first place, her stomach rumbled. That cake did sound really, really good. Maybe if she convinced herself enough this would've been an appropriate reaction, but Alphinaud was smarter than that, and she wasn’t that petty.

Maybe she could get the other Scions for lunch and then they’d all be able to have lunch together-  She paused, the Other Scions?

True, it had only been a month now since their departure from the Waking Sands, hands clenching she tended not to dwell on the thought, but at this point in such an existing feeling of despair, it was hard not to. While of course, it is a relief to not have to sleep in uncomfortable positions huddled up beside Alphinaud in freezing temperatures much like their time in Garlemald, or that their next meal might not even be guaranteed. But on top of all that she is most relieved that she’s alive, even if it hurt. Even if she thought otherwise quite often, as most would anyone who had been through what she and her brother had gone through. She would never do that to her parents, or anyone else for that matter. Learning how much her father struggled to ensure that all went to plan for not only the safety of his people- but the safety of his babes only made her feel selfish for thinking about such a thing in the first place. 

Death. Suicide.

Both of these terms weren’t foreign to her, having experienced both in such numbers thinking about all that had happened made her so angry, made her feverish in despair that the very core of her soul burned in hate for what had happened, hate for herself, the world, the way things are despite how just adults around her make them out to be.

“Such is nature.” or “The will of life and death.” 

That Alisaie was childish for thinking all of this was unjust, unfair, cruel and unnecessary. That people didn’t have to suffer this way and those who do suffer are a part of some scheme, a bigger picture that someday they’ll get what's most deserving- life or death, good or bad.

And often she thought of her placement among these rules of life, was she a part of a scheme? A bigger plan for the sake of another that her death would be a stepping stone for some great warrior to justify their path, their cause. Remembered only in the strength of essence and aether she provided and nothing more. Not remembered that she was a sister, a daughter, a powerful Red Mage, an accomplice of the Warrior of light, a friend of the person who saved all of Etheirys from the Final Days. 

A Scion of the seventh dawn.

None of this would matter once she died, whether it is by her hand or another all of this would eventually slip. 

She-

Slapping herself, she forced herself out of this thought. Standing up in a rage, she shook abhorrently. Attempting with her whole life to try and drown out these thoughts because it continuously got her nowhere in the past, what difference would it make by dwelling on them now? Sitting back down on the bench with a thump.

This was all exactly what Meteion was preaching, that there is no purpose to life if we are all destined to die and be washed away by the sands of time. And despite knowing that thinking like this was and is wrong, she still couldn’t help herself from thinking that way. Eyebrows furrowed, her stomach twisted into knots, and the sound of footsteps caused her to feign a relaxed state. She wasn't ready to just let anybody see her like this, and upon seeing the brightly coloured hood approach, she definitely wasn't going to let her see it. “Did he send you?” Alisaie muttered, not wanting to be rude but being unable to shake off her emotions as well as she thought she could. “He was worried,” Krile responded, sitting down on the bench beside Alisaie. “You don't have to do-”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Krile cut in, not allowing Alisaie to talk negatively of the situation and of herself. “If he hadn't sent me here, I’m sure I would've found you myself... I’ve known you both long enough to know.” She sighed, slipping her hood off. 

“You sure you want to be out here alone? G’raha isn't here right now, so the annexe would be all yours, dear.”

Alisaie leaned back into the bench, hands gripping themselves into tight balls on her knees. Closing her eyes she could feel tension swelling in her heart, but again going would be her admitting defeat in some convoluted way. That Meteor would find her huddled all together and laugh at her for being weak, for being a child in an adult's fucked up desperation to pour all of these problems onto two kids who weren't even eighteen summers old. Alisaie had been to other worlds, fought and killed creatures beyond comprehension, the image of the sin eater that took Tesleen from her still sharp and focused in her brain, unable to allow Alisaie moments of peace all she could think about was what the people she couldn’t save, the people she didn’t even try for. 

That was always a tricky thing with her, and thinking about her days in Amh Araeng made her very dizzy. Looking over to Krile, continuing to resist any eye contact; she began fiddling with the cuff of her coat. “O-Okay... But you can’t tell anyone I’m there, not a soul!” Alisaie groaned, face turning red she quickly leaned into her shoulder in an attempt to hide it. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. Come now, you’ll catch a cold!” Krile smiled, grabbing Alisaies hand and dragging her along.

She knew better than to argue with Krile, even if she had a good argument there was no winning when it came to her. Following shortly behind as the wind became more fierce, using her other arm she shielded herself from the whipping feeling hitting her face. Looking out towards the statue once more she stared at the water, skipping over the wind as it made its way up onto the harbour. Continuing to reprimand herself for taking her tantrum outside as she was brought inside from the wind as its continued thrashing past the doors.

Not needing any formal introductions, Krile took the stage of talking. “Ojika, do we have a room for mistress Alisaie?”

“Of course, and always. Hopefully, the wind outside wasn’t too much to bear!” He smiled, “If you’d like I could show you a specific room, but you’re welcome to choose any-”

“I’m fine- T... Thank you,” Alisaie murmured, departing herself from Krile's side, she took into the hallway that lead into the personal rooms beyond. Her pace quickened as she made for the nearest room, not even bothering to check if anyone was there she just need to be alone, completely, utterly alone. The doors closed behind her with a white, hot rage burning inside of her. Wanting to explode into a million pieces, bring down this whole building with her inside, wanting to bomb this entire place and turn it all to glass. 

Exhausted, all she could do was fall against the doors behind her, sliding down them onto the floor in defeat. Palms of her hands digging into her eyes in an attempt to stop them from leaking like floodgates, all she could do was sit there and think. Thinking, where had it gotten her previously? Nowhere. If she could think maybe she would be having a tantrum like she was a child, but she was, and still is. Less concerned about the reprimanding from her father she’d get later on the only thing that filled her tired brain was Alphinaud, though he may be the older one- albeit a few minutes- he was still just a teenager much like her. And she knew deep down that he took everything that had happened just as hard as she has, it was a comforting thought, really. That she wasn’t technically alone in this grief, this exhaustion of life and that he might be the only other person who’d understand it like she did, even in his weird, strange way of comprehending things.

Alphinaud was her brother, and she pushed him away again.

Her whole body convulsed into the palms of her hands, letting out a sickening cry. It wasn’t fair, it never was but why her, why him? Why did either of them need to go through anything that had happened, and why now that it is all over still hurt? Grief wasn’t her best friend, but she lived with it nonetheless. Alisaie wondered very frequently of late about what her life would’ve been if she didn’t become a Scion, and she knew in confidence that she wasn’t the only one who thought like this either- having confided in Thancred and Urianger in similar feelings of inadequacy, of usefulness. Would Meteor still have prevailed? Would the world exist? Would she exist?

The ugly cries of god know how long built up in her chest that had been drowning her lungs were finally let out in one big sob similar to that of a newborn babe. Hands shaking she placed them on the ground before her to support her weight, biting her lip in defiance to keep quiet lest anyone found out, though, it might have been too late for any attempt of quietness. Tears rolled down her cheeks and fell onto the ground below her, exhaustion flowing through her body like crashing waves. Life was unfair, she knew this all too well. But why did it need to be, why did it have to be cruel? Everywhere else she puts on this strong facade, a firey temperature to strike and then ask questions, unlike her timid brother she rode on the idea that if she feigned confidence, maybe it would actually make her feel confident, behave and think structurally sound for once in situations. Meteor did the same thing, so why did it not work on her?

She remembered that time, under the stars in Iron Lake, watching from a distance as he shook there in the cold night, hands gripped firmly on his side as the wind whistled through his beaten and battered armour sitting in complete silence dwelling on thoughts that remained unknown to Alisaie. She remembered Ishgard when the news had been broken to her about Ser Haurchfant. How that even the slightest mention of his name sent chills down Meteors body, barely making a noise in response to hearing the news once again, for gods knows how many times that day. How that any mention of the word Minfillia was still scoured by despair back then, little knowledge of what had become of her mentioning the name around Meteor or Thancred wasn’t ideal. Even now knowing what had happened when she was pulled into the Aetherial sea, it still hurt to accept that she was just… gone. Forever. For better causes, sure, but it was just another example of unfairness. 

Going into Amaurot, she had never seen someone cry so hard. Almost stalking him she only happened to stumble upon him crying, yet almost no noise came from him. Curses she knew not to repeat behind struggled tears as his very body shook into the cold air below, the distant sound of clocks ticking barely overlapping the sound it wasn’t a surprise if no one else heard or knew where he was, and what he was doing, what he was thinking in that exact moment. 

She could never relate, never in a million years would she be able to relate to the amount of grief, despair and destruction he had gone through, and all by himself too nonetheless. Alisaie had her brother, Urianger, Y’shtola, and Thancred, she had so many people to her aid to help her overcome all that had happened but who did he have? As far as she knew he had no family, no mother no father, he had nothing before the Scions. And despite all of this, coming from nothing, he remained selfless. He stood strong for those who couldn’t be saved those who needed saving- all on his own.

Stifling back a sob, her heart ached for him.

Holding herself tightly, she closed her eyes. Allowing her body to relax against the doors as tears effortlessly rolled down her cheek. Why couldn’t she be like him, why did she always have to fall apart when no one was looking- at least he could accept help!  Her heart twinged, hands gripping themselves into tight balls. At least…

Alisaie sighed, standing up shakily, she wobbled her way over to the bed that lay in the furthest corner. Throwing herself onto it, she felt numb and empty. The softness of the mattress below her allowed her to sink, the sensation of water dripping onto her she didn’t bother to adjust to feeling. Closing her eyes as tears leaked still from them, all she wanted to do was rest. Maybe she’d wake up back home in her own bed, with none of this ever happening, not throwing a tantrum, not thinking about death not even being mad in the first place.

Creasing herself into a tiny little ball, fetal position she cried effortlessly. So tired, beyond exhausted she couldn’t even attempt not to cry. How long had this been building up? It was almost a question to herself, but there was no response or answer she- or anyone else for that matter- could give. 

With one final breath, her body relaxed, being swept away into a dream that she awoke from too quickly afterwards to comprehend it or retell it to anyone who bothered to ask if she slept well enough. Barely being able to raise herself up, sweat dripped from her forehead. Feeling multiple blankets piled off from her body, wool and cotton covering her body previously her hair was slick, stuck to her face. Hand moving up to fix her hair she groaned exhaustedly, swinging herself out of bed as her feet wobbled against the floor. Flopping back against the bed, her head spun.

The sound of birds chirping crept through into her slow awakening, her brain slowly starting up with her stomach twisting in knots against the emptiness. “Gods..” she cursed, placing a lone hand on her stomach. The sound of quickening footsteps approaching her door she didn’t react quick enough to hold the person entering. Krile barged through, plates in hand as she hopped along. “Alisaie dear! Thank goodness you’re awake!” She beamed, placing the tray on the table she beckoned for her to get up and eat. “I went to wake you up an hour ago and you were shivering poor thing!” 

Alisaie glanced back to the thick blankets on her bed, being pulled to the table she sat down in front of her breakfast. One of the plates was covered in pancakes, decorated with an assortment of berries while on the tray was a teapot accompanied with two cups.

“I- Thank you... Wait! My parents! I didn’t-” Alisaie rubbed her eyes, attempting to stand up only to be stopped. 

“Don’t fret dear, I told them you fell asleep while studying here, your secret is safe with me... Although, it was hard keeping it from him... Enjoy your breakfast!” she smiled, giving Alisaie a pat on the back. With the sound of awkward footsteps approaching the doors, Alphinaud stood there stricken with a dumb look on his face. “Alisaie!” He stumbled inwards to the room, allowing Krile to walk past him. “I- 'm sorry about yesterday, I can buy you all of the cakes you want-”

“Alphi... It’s fine.” Alisaie dug into her breakfast, attempting to ignore her annoying brother. “No, It isn’t- I-” He stuttered, a long pause between his words as he fidgeted nervously. 

“Is this about him?” 

Alisaie stood up, the sound of her chair scraping against the floor. 

“About, who!?” She asked, though really, it wasn’t a question. She knew what he was doing, and wasn’t going to have any of that right now. “It's been a month! Y- You need to talk about these kinds of things, Alisaie, please.” He begged, placing his hands together on his chest. Her eyes flickered around the room, nervously trying to avoid this conversation. She knew he was right, and it hurt more than anything. 

“I don’t want to!”

She did want to. She wanted to confide again in someone again.

“You have to. If you don’t you won't get over it!”

She had to.

“Maybe-!” She yelled, hands at her sides as she shook. “Maybe I don’t want to stop hurting!”

Alphinaud stood there, his hands gripping his shirt tightly. Attempting to speak, he couldn’t make so much a noise in response, stuttering as a thousand thoughts raced through his mind all at once. She was doing it again, she was pushing away one of the few people who actually cared about her, who bothered to actually seek her out and try and help. In the anguish and rush of emotion, Alphinaud stormed out of the room. Leaving Alisaie all to herself once again.

Chapter Text

Sitting in the dark of the room, knees pressed firmly against her chest she wanted to sob even more now. She had done it again, for the millionth time. Knowing by now that wherever Alphinaud went to go run off to he’d be trying his best not to cry. He was always an emotional one, more emotional than her by a lot. She would tease him about it when they were younger, that a simple thing as snakes not having arms would make him sob and call for their mother. That it was unfair that they couldn’t enjoy the having-arms side of life. 

Thinking about this made her chuckle, but only to herself in the small corner of the room that she had forced herself into. The only illumination was the blurred fogginess of the sun shining through the shut window just beside her head, birds still chirping outside she only tucked her head in further between her knees to try and ignore how bright and lovely it was past the walls, and she was inside, sulking.

Usually, she wouldn't be this snappy, or this mean, especially to her twin brother, but as of lately it was almost impossible to not be mad at the world. Sometimes she’d think about what would life be if she wasn’t the younger twin sibling, not that she wished to be the eldest... But what if she just didn’t exist?

Alphinaud. A single child. All Alisaie did was make it harder for him and her parents, always a kid with a fiery spirit she didn’t take anything from no one, embarrassing memories of losing fights or getting into arguments with other kids, for her own sake or to protect her sweet brother. From the earliest memory she could retain from she always had a looming sensation that life was unfair, she understood it a lot quicker than most kids her age. But she still tried, she still studied, still loved, still had fun and had friends despite that all of this is so fleeting in the grand scheme of life and its course. That none of this would matter, absolutely none of it. Her memories and love would die with her and not a single person would utter them ever again unless written down or expressed in a form of art.

And even then, what were the chances that someone out there would read it, or look upon it in a frame and ponder its existence, and then have the effort to trace it all back to Alisaie Leveilleur. A woman of action, some people might call her. Although she begs to differ, she just wasn’t like Alphinaud. She wasn’t easy. 

Alisaie wasn’t simple, as much as people took her to be. The sister of the diplomatic Alphinaud Leveilleur and the daughter of Fourchenault Leveilleur, a great man of the Forum, she wouldn’t be remembered for her actions or her deeds. Just that she wasn’t easy, a defiant young lady. Nothing more, nothing less.

In death, she wouldn’t have a last name. Just...

Alisaie.

Wanting to smack her head in for thinking like this despite her very efforts not to do so, her train of thought was broken by the sound of doors opening and closing. Calm footsteps she hadn’t memorized approached.

“Alisaie.” 

It was Meteor. Almost jumped up to greet him, the feeling of nausea took over her grief-stricken body. She didn’t bother to respond verbally, only acknowledging his appearance with a simple nod. The feelings she had for such a person were hard to describe, it wasn’t love it was… a type of love.

The same love she had for her brother, unlike the other Scions, Meteor clicked differently for her. Maybe it was because he didn’t ignore her, or appoint her forever as a child in his mind. At least, she thought that he didn’t view it in such a way, she hoped. He recognized her strength, her smarts, capabilities and so much more. Those parts were obvious as their blooming friendship strengthened over the past few years. Watching him move closer, he didn’t intrude on her personal space and instead sat accordingly across her. Legs crossed he looked at her patiently, blinking slowly. 

“Why are you-”

“Because.” He replied sternly. 

Raising her head to look at him, she was fully expecting an expression of hate, and disdain for her. That he’d start laughing once he observed the stains on her cheeks from crying unendingly. Wiping tears from her face that she didn’t even know were there, she was greeted by only softness. A caring expression upon the face of a man who had been hardened and beaten by life itself. There wasn’t a single glimpse of dislike for how she was, or who she was. 

“If it wasn’t going to be Alphi, I thought... well, maybe it would be me.” Meteor flickered his eyes from her gaze, embarrassed from making an assumption that she’d even want him there in the first place. “No..” She sniffled again, “I’m glad it was you.” Alisaie smiled, resting her chin on her knees she kept her gaze upon him. Silence strung between the both of them, Meteor attempted to speak multiple times, but unable to understand the situation he only sighed in defeat. “I try not to ask direct questions... But-”

“Whats wrong, Alisaie?”

Everything, all the time. Death, suicide, murder. So much was wrong, all the fucking time. Attempting to relax against the surface she placed her back on, not sure where to begin on such a question.

“I’m depressed” Didn’t feel right, what did she have to be depressed about? Absolutely nothing, she was just a spoiled little kid born from a family with a life that was already laid out plain for her. “I want to die” was simply too grim for her liking, despite it being a very prominent thought it wasn’t actually true. She didn’t want to die, sometimes she just wanted to observe without worrying about responsibilities for once. Fidgeting with her hands, she tried over and over again to start the conversation off in different ways, but none of it sounded right coming from her.

“Hey-” Meteor broke the silence.

“Can I tell you something funny?”

Alisaie scoffed, “Right now?”

He nodded, placing his hands on his knees he smirked. Leaning in close, “G’raha tried to open up some letters with a fish, twice.”

It was absurd. It wasn’t funny, at all. But it made Alisaie laugh, “Really?”

Meteor snorted, placing a finger to his mouth he imitated a “shhh” sound. It was sweet, what they had, a friendship so genuine and simple it made Alisaie feel safe, and cared for. The same care and love she felt from her parents, almost. Meteor didn’t kid her around, didn’t make her feel less because she was younger or smaller than most of the other Scions. She wasn’t patronized or spared details because she wouldn’t understand or get it as the adults did. He treated her with respect and kindness. It was sweet, feeling a small blush creep across her face she was glad he was there for her, still giggling about G’raha’s foolishness. “I suppose it was... Kinda funny.”

“See? Now you have to tell me something.” Meteor relaxed his shoulders. “Hey, are you trying to swindle me?” Alisaie bit back, playing with the situation. Meteor laughed, “Okay, okay. If you tell me something, I’ll tell you something, deal?” 

Alisaie smirked, tilting her head backwards she smirked. “Hmmm.” She teased, “Sweeten the deal and we’ll talk.” Looking at Meteor from the corner of her eyes, she enjoyed this moment between the both of them. Rarely did they get any time like this again, even without the fear of the world on either of their shoulders they still had responsibilities and lives of their own. “I’ll take you to the Last stand and buy you absolutely anything you want, my treat.” He tilted his head, crossing his arms proudly. 

Thinking about it, Alisaie hummed. Unwravveling herself she laid her legs out, hands tapping her lap idly. “Okay, but- promise you won’t laugh.”

Meteor nodded, readying himself for her response. 

“I.. can’t stop thinking about that day- on the Ragnarok.” She sighed, covering her face with her hands. “I can’t stop thinking about Meteion and her whole..deal. I know that what she did wasn’t okay, obviously. But some of the things she said, maybe she had a point, somewhere in all that confused, and misdirected grief.”

“It's dumb.” She immediately deflected, feeling embarrassed about her emotions being on display.

“No, not really.” Meteor effortlessly added, scratching his chin. Alisaie snapped her head back up to him, “I- I mean. I think about it too, a lot.”

“About... Meteion, I met her before she fell down into that pit- before she became the Endsinger, and she was so thrilled about having another friend that seeing her like that, stricken with such despair that her entire colour changed... It hurt. Like this part of me-” Placing his hand to his chest. “Hurt specifically for her, like she was a part of me.”

The room went silent, aside from the still chirping birds outside it was a stark contrast of their conversation to the sunny day beyond the walls. Alisaie didn’t bother to interrupt with her own advice, not that she had any, but she loved to listen to him talk. “When I was in Elpis, I found out that I was once just like them.”

“Them?” Rang in her mind, she wasn’t told too much about what Elpis was beyond the point of him even going there. “Like Emet-Selch and.. Hythlodaeus..” He whispered, Alisaie remembered the names vaguely, the two that appeared in Meteion’s nest that day, two tall figures of white and purple hair who bickered with each other like some married couple of the ages.

“M-My point being. I understand.”

“I’m not... Well equipped to deal with this, when you’re Eorzea’s Saviour, you kind of get used to not talking about it or how it affects you.” Meteor rubbed the back of his neck, laughing nervously as he awkwardly attempted to forget his derailment from the original conversation. The atmosphere changed, but it didn’t make her uncomfortable. She was almost glad to know that he’s suffered, that despite everything in her body telling her that she was alone in this grief, it was just extra reassurance that she wasn’t. 

“So, got any funny stories?” Alisaie smiled, attempting to lift the mood. 

Meteor jerked backwards, “Ah, right. Uhm.” He blinked, placing a hand to his face as he thought. “Of course, how could I forget.” Meteor chuckled to himself as Alisaie cocked her head to the side in confusion.

“The day I met Hildy! A strange man, he thought himself a zombie for the longest time. When in reality, he hit his head a little too hard. Went around the entirety of Thanalan after him!”

“Really?!” Alisaie laughed, “Yeah, and then I met his dad. Godbert Manderville, he runs the Go-” Meteor paused, shutting his mouth halfway through his sentence. 

“Hm?” Alisaie teetered her head to the side, “Don’t worry, It's your turn now anyways.” Meteor deflected the conversation as best as he could, nervously fidgeting as he attempted to change the topic before she got too curious. “Well.. on top of me... Thinking about Meteion, it feels like I have to compete.”

Meteor cocked his head, narrowing his eyebrows he didn’t interrupt, though. “Like- I have to compete with Alphinaud. And my parents. And-” she paused, gripping the floor she anxiously looked around the room. “You.” Alisaie sighed, almost choking at the words that came out of her mouth it was embarrassing to admit, but in their agreement, she had to, and despite all of that it did feel relieving to say out loud, albeit something she would’ve happily taken to her grave if it were anyone else.

“Me?”

“Yes- You! You- You..  do everything so effortlessly. You wore the burden of so much -” She stuttered. “And at the end of it all-! all of this! You asked if we were okay, you’re some grand hero and yet you still think of everyone with such... selflessness!” Alisaie was furious, but like she was earlier. She was hurting all over again because Meteor's blissful ignorance and his selflessness were one of his most prominent points, and it just made her all so confused all over again. “How do you do it.”

“Ali, that’s not... An easy thing to answer.”

“How.” She reiterated, gruff in her voice as she desperately reached out for some kind of support from him. He blinked slowly, thoughts racing at a mile as he scanned the room, thinking. “I don’t.”

“You think I did all of this on my own? I would be dead... A long time ago, as some nameless adventurer with a gravestone so worn down it wouldn’t survive harsh winds.” Meteor sighed, continuing to deflect as much as he could. “Your support, seeing you and Alphinaud especially... Gave me hope. That someone like you could have a future that someone like me couldn’t, or never will; for that matter. You have so much potential, hope and determination for a kid that so many adults lack.”

“I’m not a kid.” She bit.

“I know you’re not, which is why I was hoping that I’d be able to create a world where you could be, even for just a moment you of all people deserve that kind of feeling, that bliss. You have... Alphinaud, and your parents, you have so many people who love and care about you, Ali. I know thats no easy thing to accept. It's not that easy, but I shouldn’t be the one telling you that. You know better than most people that It isn’t easy, so all I ask of you is that you believe that it can be.” 

Alisaie’s eyes widened, her own heart twinging in fear and anxiety about the situation.

“But you have to trust me when I say that even if it seems bleak now, somewhere in your life at one miraculous moment you decided then and there that you were going to see this all through, that you were going to keep fighting, just like I did at one point.”

“I am so proud of you, Alisaie. You are my hero.”

Looking at him, her eyes welled. With a soft smile on such a rugged man, she knew he meant every word, that everyone truly was out there for her like he said. Despite everything in her body still screaming that it was unfair, she no longer could deny that truth or his words. If anything hearing all of that from him only made her feel worse, but a different kind. Like secretly all this time this was something she longed to hear, but she didn’t know it yet. That she had been lying to herself and this was waiting here all this time for her, but she was too stubborn to accept and allow it to be heard.

Feeling her heart jerk in her chest, her hands trembled and so did the rest of her body, “Hey..” She sobbed, “Tell.. tell me a funny story- now, please, you promised.” she cried, leaning forwards she bundled up her fists and landed them on his chest, “Please..” She coughed as sobs echoed from her, Meteor sighed. Wrapping his arms around her as much as she let him, they held each other. Sobbing on their own volumes in the barely lit room. Large hands against her back he rubbed in a slowly smoothing motion, letting her empty out all of her frustrations and anger into bursts of tears and cries, almost falling forwards into him entirely her body shook. 

Gently rocking side to side with her in his arms, he breathed slowly, allowing her to take up all the space in the room with her cries. With the quiet sound of timid footsteps entering the room, Alphinaud stood there awkwardly. Gripping the bottom of his shirt as he stood anxiously, gulping as his face softened into a worried expression. Meteor raised his arm towards Alphinaud, inviting him into the hug he took no second to hesitate, slipping onto the floor he joined in. Wrapping his arms around Meteor and his sister, his head buried into the crook of her neck as he let her cry onto the both of them, being a pillar of support. “Alphi-” She coughed, choking on sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Alisaie couldn’t bear to look at him, knowing that it’d only break her heart more to face the person who cared for her so much.

“I know” He whispered, mumbling it repeatedly in small hushes as they all sat there on the floor, hugging each other tightly as if they were to let go, they’d all drift out to sea. “How about I take you both to the Last Stand?” Meteor eventually piqued up, moving his hand to wipe his own tears. “I’m sure you both could use something nice today.” Alisaie sat back, eventually separating herself as tears effortlessly fell from her eyes, face red and puffy. Nodding quietly, she allowed them both to help her up, legs wobbling and hearts sore with emotion.

Her hand being held by Alphinaud, she followed shortly behind. Stepping outside of the annexe the sudden change in temperature and scenery made her shield her eyes from the sun. Standing vacantly on the steps she stared out past the statue bordering Sharlayan, waves lovingly blowing against the pier unlike yesterday, it was a calming sensation. Breathing in deeply, the warm air fill her lungs as she slowly exhaled, wiping her face dry with sniffled close behind. Looking over to Alphinaud and Meteor, the sun illuminating them from behind they smiled kindly at her.

No hate, no disdain. They loved her, and she loved them. All was well, she knew this now, she knew that life had a purpose and hers was to enjoy it to its fullest, to love and live. If Meteion could understand that life had purpose and hope despite the inevitable despair, so could she. Hopping down the steps, she gave chase, following Alphinaud and Meteor down the path as they ventured onwards into the day, smiling brightly in a contrast to her previous mood, a smile better fitted her, as it did most heroes.