Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I woke up to the sunlight blinding my orbs.

BEEP,
BEEP,
BEEP,

UGH.

I roll over to turn my alarm off. My feet find the wall, ah yes, I had forgotten that I lived in a closet under the stairs ever since I had killed 39 innocent people in cold blood. Why did I see light then…? I carefully open my homophobic peepers to glance towards the usually key locked wooden door.

“Wake up, come to the kitchen right now.” one of my moms tell me.

Yippie ! This usually meant yummy yummy dinner ! Franziska hands me a plastic bag, uh, I curiously try to glance at its content but she quickly grabs my arm and drags me out of my beloved… room... I take a few steps out and she lets me go ahead. On my way here I get stopped by my wolf father, moving both his hands down to grab my shoulders before solemnly closing his eyes and uttering in a deep voice:

“Be strong pup, for an alpha never backs down in front of danger.” He pats down my greasy disheveled dark hair, I had a bad habit of eating the soap instead of using it. Was this his way of telling me someone very unqualified cooked an absolute dogshit dinner ? Not naming anyone obviously but not everyone in this household was a great cook. Erm. Gulping down my fears of having to empty a burned plate, I nod to him before heading back towards my epic journey to the kitchen.

The burning sun made my deep red and gray optics shine wildly. Like a thousand suns or the deepest pits of hell. Or something. I shook my hair around, looking like a wet ass dog after going in the mud and dirtying everything, including its owner and a passerby.

I was quite the special fella really, not only did I have like 5 parents, all very rich, but I also was recently divorced. Do not ask who I'm divorced from. I’m pretty sure it was illegal seeing how everyone always reacted around us when we were still married. Damn cancel culture… Also they did admit marrying me for the honeymoon and for my money. Spouses am I right ?

Trying to distract myself, I look back at my shirt. I was wearing my favorite shirt of The Gavinners, it was bright red with the logo on the front. Pretty sure I found it in a bin somewhere ? Who would throw out such an incredible shirt. I was also wearing a terrible pair of Freddy Fazbear shorts. My dads bought this one for me ! They hated it. They just don’t understand my style.

When I finally step a foot in the kitchen, I gasp loudly, my jaw falling to the floor, eyes popping out of my sockets and my hands flying to cup my cheeks :

“KLAVIER GAVIN ?!” I scream, absolutely FLABBERGASTED. I turn my gaze towards the rest of my family standing behind the kitchen counter. This was not a breakfast, or a terrible dinner made by Mr. Simon Blackquill. Sorry, it had to be said. Seriously, how do you burn PASTA.

Maya Fey was the first to speak up : “We sold you to the Gavinners.” she looked behind me where Franzizka had appeared, she spoke :

“Yes, it was a collective decision.” She had crossed her arms, I looked back at the famous rockstar waiting for me, bag still in my trembling hands. What. Gavin took a few steps towards Simon and handed him a five dollar bill which he gladly took.

“Bye, bye…” said the twink, Ron Delite, he ‘fucked my dad’ from time to time, while shyly waving me off.

“W-What ?! Hold on there has to be at least one person that didn't want to sell me ?!” I plead while holding my hair in my hands. A small creature revealed themself from behind Simon’s back, climbing up his arm. I gasped once again, “G-G-...” I could not believe this.

“Yes, grandchild.” Grafi, my dear pokemon grandma, was sitting on my father’s shoulder.

“You-you too…?”

“Yes, i’m sorry but you were eating all the soap,” she calmly closed her peepers, “-and we’re pretty sure you have rabies.” she continued, somewhat concerned. I quickly slurped back in all the foam and saliva dripping gracefully down from my mouth, rendered speechless. This was the biggest betrayal I had ever felt. Bigger than the rat poison flavored soap, bigger than the divorce, bigger than the time I got shot by my best friend Kay Faraday, BIGGER than when I got run over by that one red frenchphobic car. My own family was selling me to some rich guy for… probably… drug money.

The said guy looked at me from under his spiky sunglasses, was he trying to do a Dirk cosplay in broad daylight ? In big 2022 ? and waved at me to follow him to his car outside. I glanced back at my family on my way out, one by one. Some avoided my stare, somewhat ashamed ? Some did not care and just waited patiently for me to go away with my new owner. Heartbreaking. Clutching my bag full of whatever Franziska deemed important for me to carry around, I took a first step on the wet grass in front of the house. I dared taking a last small peek behind me. What the fuck, Grafi was already making breakfast with their little hands. Did I really overdo the soap eating ?

Someone threw me my funky silly dino sweater before closing the door and locking it firmly.

The rockstar got into his bright pink limo, very classy. One of those big long ass cars rich people get their private driver to drive them around in to show everyone how rich and popular they are. I slip in, not without making sure to wipe my muddy shoes on the car’s carpet, and find myself sitting across THE Klavier Gavin. My new owner. Apparently. We sit in silence as Lady Gaga Bad Romance plays softly in the background while the engine starts to make a vvrrrrrrrrm sound. The house I grew up in slowly disappearing in the vast horizon just as the memories of my family fading away from my feeble mind. I have a terrible memory.

Why did a famous, makes all the ladies fall to his knees, wealthy rockstar would even need to buy a rabid, french, harry potter-like guy-creature…? The only real reason I could think of is because I'm a Fey and so, I can channel spirits. Or something. I was about to fall asleep when Gavin looked up from his phone (he was playing Piano Tiles 4 and had just lost) and cleared his voice to get my attention.

“Fräulein !-” he cleared his throat again, “-so…”. I uncrossed my legs and stopped staring at the view outside the tinted window. Instead, I started staring at him with my optics. He was now uncomfortable.

“Why did you buy me.” I inquired, still staring him down, eyes wide open. He puts his glasses away from his face, resting them on the armrest, which was also very pink. Being in this car felt like being in heaven, but like, if it was bright pink. Because literally everything was pink, and not some nice pale pink, it was the flashy magenta kind of pink. The armrests, the carpets, the windows, the seats, the LEDs… everything. Dear god, I would need to rest my eyes for at least one hour after this to see colors normally again.

“Very simple, Freund ! I need your help with something.” he grinned, holding his chin between his thumb and his index finger, “-something only you can do !” Confused, I looked left, then right, before pointing a questioning finger towards myself. Little old me ? Being helpful ? silly little funky me ? This almost made me forget my family had sold me for 5 dollars this very morning. He vigorously nodded his head. Alright, maybe I was ok with this after all.

“You got the stuff, right ?” he then asked, pointing to my plastic bag, ‘Lidl” was written on its side in bright yellow. blue and red. “Great, then you’re ready to go !” Did they just use me as a freebie in a drug trade ? Nevermind this was terrible. I was considering rolling out the car to get away and maybe crawl in the forest for shelter. I weighted out my options, I had already lived in the forest for some time in the past so I could survive until an innocent passerby would wander in and fall to my starved wrath. However, no one would be happy with the outcome of this little adventure.

“Ah, it seems we’re here, Freund ! ” His booming voice brought me back from my daydreaming, anchoring me to the sad and current situation I was in. The doors opened and I stepped out, guess I didn’t have time to flee to nature after all. Two men pushed me into a hallway, then led me to a room and closed the door, leaving me alone. I glanced around the brightly lit room. Good lord this room was a mess. I could see chains on the ceiling, a few guitars laying around, boots, various accessories and posters. Is this what they call the ‘drug room’ here ?

I decided to peek inside my lidl bag, curious as to what type of drugs my parents were selling for 5 whole dollars. To my surprise, what was inside was not a drug. Stuffed into the deepest depths of the grocery bag laid a single red curly wig and a red shiny nose.

Oh.

Oh.

Klavier Gavin did not buy me to channel any dead spirit, or to get cheap suspicious drugs. The guy needed a jester for his show. And for some reason I was chosen as the clown to light up the circus. Speaking of rooms, I now recognized the infamous room I was standing awkwardly in, wig and nose in hands. Maybe if I had my phone on me I would be able to take incredible pictures and sell them online for a good price to weird fangirls. But alas, I put my hair and snoot on, getting ready to fulfill my holy duties.

As I was ready to push the door leading to the stage, I stopped myself. What was I doing. I graduated clown school 3 times, only to end up getting NOTHING in compensation ? On the biggest stage of the town ? For the most popular and fantastic rockstar to ever exist ? NO THANK YOU.

I had to find a way out of here.

Chapter Text

I start looking around the room for something to flee out with. There is a lot of stuff in here but definitely not anything really useful. I open drawers, look through them in search of something, anything really, not quite sure what I'm looking for to be honest, before heading straight to the floor in a squat position, patting it down like bread dough getting ready to go to the superhell oven. A few crumbs here and there, flyers for old shows, empty wrappings, an opened and dirty, probably very old candy that I instantly without any doubt or hesitation swallow. It still had some flavor ! I love strawberries. Or was this orange ?

Standing back up, not without pushing as hard as I can on my knees with my hands to succeed at the task, I sigh deeply. This is pointless… I will never get out... On the brink of breaking down, I slump against the blue door I came in from before suddenly gasping loudly and reaching with my grubby little hands, trying to hold onto anything. I do not find such relief and instead find myself plummeting backwards towards the floor. My ass thumps on the hard cold tiles, my gentle cheeks clapping painfully despite my best attempts at minimizing the terrible impact.

“YEEAAOOUUUUCCHHHH !!” I yell to no one.

Oh well. The door was open from the beginning. WHATEVER…

I may have escaped clown slavery for now, but I was still in danger of getting caught trying to get away. I get up once again, back cracking like thousands of lego bricks breaking apart, and try to understand where I am.

On my left was a long hallway, on my right was a… long hallway.

I tried to remember where I came from, however I was not smart enough to find where in my peanut brain the memory was located. So instead I decided to head right, because I’m right handed. Pretty smart, I know.

The silence is terribly loud and all that can be heard are my heavy footsteps.

I find myself thinking, this place… reminded me of somewhere. Yes, I had already been here before. I could clearly remember the bright loud lights on the ceiling, the beige walls, the cold floor tiles…

It felt like my mind was being put in a blender, no matter how hard I tried putting the pieces back together, all I could get was a mash of whatever was there originally. It felt like my brain was purposefully trying to keep the memories away for whatever reason, like it was telling me that remembering what happened in this wretched place was a terrible, terrible idea.

Come to think of it, this place was awfully quiet for a Gavinners show, I feel like I would’ve heard at least some chatter from the stage or some waiting music for the viewers to enjoy by now. But the place was still dreadfully quiet, if not for the deafening ‘hmmmm’ of the electricity hanging above my head and all around me. God this hallway was long and very boring.

After another 5 more minutes of walking and pondering my thoughts, I finally come across another door. It’s blue and looks very much like the last one. I almost knock but remember that I am trying to run away from a clown trafficking business and instead opt to barge in, slamming the poor door against the wall, in an attempt at appearing menacing, probably leaving a dent. I had not really thought of what to do when I entered the room.

To my surprise, the room is somewhat furnished, with a table in its center as well as a few wooden chairs and a big white lamp hanging from the ceiling. To my even bigger surprise, someone is sitting at the table, their back to me. They jump from the commotion, letting a small yelp escape their lips. My hand not on the door handle flies in front of my mouth, in complete and utter shock, once again, for like the 5th time today. I could recognize that damn haircut anywhere.

"APOLLO JUSTICE ?” I scream at the top of my lungs, he turns to me, still sitting, eyes wide in what was probably fear and surprise, maybe even disgust, probably.

“POU BELLE ?” He screams much like I did myself a few seconds ago before standing up and positioning himself in a defensive battle stance, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE ROOM WITH HIM BY NOW !”

Ignoring completely his last few words, I growl and hiss before spitting out :

“MY ARCH NEMESIS.”, words coming out like scorching venom, “I’VE ALREADY BEATEN YOU UP TWO TIMES BEFORE, I WILL DO IT AGAIN FOOL.”

“Y-YEAH WELL I ALSO BEAT YOU UP BEFORE, DON’T COME CLOSER HOLY SHIT.” He screams, terrified of the feral creature slouching and foaming in front of him.

My hands were clenching from the pure hatred and anger that was coming out of me and traveling through my whole body. I'm sure if you squinted enough you could see an evil aura coming from my being. Or maybe it was a cloud of filth and dirt.

Whatever, I jump and menacingly pounce on my rival, teeth out and claws extended, ready to strike down. The guy lets out a pitiful scream of panic, again, trying to avoid my rabid wrath. My fiery orbs shine underneath the plastic glare of the rays of glowing radiance, emanating with animalistic hate. His orbs, on the other hand, seem to shrink in pure fear, he knows what I am capable of, and he is afraid of it.

But before I can bash my opponent’s head in, he stretches his arm out, trying to defend himself with the best of his ability, and somehow, succeeds, knocking the wind out of my lungs and sending me miserably flying to the other side of the room opposing the door. I let out a low and vile hiss of pain, akin to how an old senile cat would spit everywhere trying to understand that the thing in front of him was not another cat but in fact his water bowl.

I let myself rest on the cold floor, staying down for a few seconds, eyes closed, before propping myself up on my elbows and getting ready to pounce back again. However, before I can locate my opponent and bite him to death, I find myself confused. Part of it was probably because of how I went flying across the whole room but whatever.

Rather than the beige walls, tiled floor and gay rival i was in front of not even a minute before, I was now standing in some sort of… black void. I looked down at my feet, but there was no floor. Just plain, dark, blank emptiness everywhere. That sure was weird !

But I still had a goal : getting out of the Gavin clown trafficking business. So I trekked into the lifeless empty space. I probably should’ve told Apollo that his husband was buying clowns for 5 dollars and bringing them to his showroom. He was my rival, but I was not a monster, I would tell him the truth before our next battle that I would surely win.

I was looking downwards, not that there was much to look at down here. Or up ? Am I even walking on something right now. Thinking back to the epic confrontation that had happened a while before, I try to remember what the small man had said before I viciously attacked him. Something something about not being in a room. Oh, perhaps he did already know of his husband’s suspicious activities.

Just as I was about to ponder even more, I bumped into something very small, that let out a small dry munchy noise as I knocked it off its floating orbit. Looking up, I was surprised to see one of my favorite treats : a delicious looking scone. Without any hesitation, I wildly swallowed it down until I emptied the void it was floating in out of all potential crumbs.

Once finished, in a whopping 46 second world record, I looked ahead in hope of being blessed by whichever void divinity was bringing scones to me. To my great pleasure, floating around in front of me were even more scones, and a nice looking old english tea-pot, spilling out its content for the whole emptiness to see, surrounded by a few tea filled cups. The fluid was hanging out in space, spilling, but not spilling at the same time. It was very weird, like time had stopped while the hot liquid was leaking and it was now just vibing. Not quite dead, not quite alive. There was also an old oven and herb packets not too far away, wow, home-made tea ! I would’ve fucked that shit up if I liked tea.

I started hunting the scones to extinction, and just as I was about to reach for my next prey, I noticed a weird shaped biscuit a few steps away. I got closer, leaving the object of my appetite behind me. I will return, scone, remember my face, for it is the only thing you will ever dream of until I come back to end your miserable and pathetic useless life.

The weird scone was no scone at all : it was a phone ! An old, scarred and bumped blue Nokia phone. No… Could it be…? It came alive in a pleasant little song, as if it was sensing my presence. I reached for it, wrapping my hands around its outer shell, scared to break it with my incredibly strong muscles.

“I thought I'd never see anyone’s face again.” it wrote on its screen. Anyone with a normally developed brain would've thought someone was sending the texts from another device, however, I knew this phone. This was Phoenix’s old Nokia phone. My eyes watered.

“You’re alive ?” I said, emotions overwhelming my quiet and deep orbs.

“Not quite, friend. I have been stuck here for some time,” there was a small break in the text before it continued, “-I have been floating around here ever since… The incident.”

For the first time in like 4 months, I tried my very best to make my brain work. It felt like I was trying to squish out juice out of an already pressed small terrible orange. Except the orange was also pre-dried before and only the peel was left.

“Why…-” this was hurting my neurons and I had to close my eyes to concentrate, “-why didn’t you just call someone…?” Dear lord. My God. Never doing that ever again.

In response to my very intellectual question, its screen changed to display ‘Calling : Phoenix Wright…’, accompanied by a small ring tone that bounced off the non-existent walls of the void. If he answered I would either : get my ass whooped for getting myself into trouble again, or, the grown man would start crying out of happiness, not because I was calling him, obviously, but because I had found his old and very beloved phone. It really depended on whether or not he had spent the last 24 hours in the hospital again. No in between. Neither option would be enjoyable for either of us.

Fortunately for me, but unfortunately for the little Nokia, the call did not pick up and rather, ‘NO DATA, TRY AGAIN’ was displayed in big bold capitals on its blinding screen after a few minutes. All that brain power and mind pondering was for nothing after all. It returned to a blank screen, as if waiting for me to speak up. I had to rest for a bit though so the device waited patiently in my hands.

“Where…” I took a big breath to oxygenate my brain,“-where are we exactly anyways ?” I finally inquired.

It displayed three blinking dots for a bit, as if to show me it was thinking of a correct answer, before coming alive again.

“I am not sure, French friend. I have had time to ponder with myself. All alone in this empty blissful space. It seems…” another break in the text, “-we are between worlds ? Time ? Not quite in the present, future or past.”

Oh great heaven, this was WAY too many things to think of for today. My brain needed at least like… another 4 months to recover from before, so now ? Totally completely fried. Gooby brain ! See you in another life maybe ! Love you ! Mwah ! I tried to slurp back as much foam and saliva as I could so as to not wet and dirty, possibly kill, who knows what my saliva is made of, my dear phone friend I still gripped with a certain delicacy in my meat hooks.

“Please do not fear. I’ve had time to study the void in my, what felt like, eternal rest and, I've discovered…” the screen went completely blank. “...a way… Of…” yet another blank screen before text reappeared, “going back. To where you belong. ☺ ”