Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

His father’s lawyer’s office is small and cramped. Worst of all it stinks of cat piss. Chris tries not to breathe through his nose as they wait for the lawyer.

Adrian is sitting beside him in a wonky office chair. Adrian’s only here because he drove Chris and refused to wait outside. Adrian seems to think that there needs to be two witnesses to the will reading for it to be legal, but Chris is pretty sure that rule is just for weddings.

Chris doesn’t really need him here. But it’s comforting.

It’s not like Chris is going to inherit anything anyway. He killed his father after all. Everyone knows about it even if they kept his name out of the papers.

But he’s half hoping he’ll be able to get some photos of his mother and brother. Maybe some family mementos, if his father kept any. Chris knows his father kept nothing of his beside his superhero stuff.

Adrian’s knee won’t stop bouncing up and down beside him. 

It’s annoying as fuck.

Chris knew he shouldn’t have got him a donut and large coffee for breakfast. Those sprinkles were too much sugar for Adrian this time of the morning.

The office door opens just as Chris reaches for Adrian’s knee. 

Chris turns his head and looks at the old guy, the lawyer, as he slowly shuffles in with a large black brief case. He’s wearing a suit and looks bone tired. 

There has been a hell of a lot of funerals in town lately.

The lawyer doesn’t say anything about Chris touching Adrian. But he stares.

Chris’ cutting words for Adrian die on his tongue at the sudden appearance of the lawyer. It was something mean. Something about Adrian being an annoying hyperactive toddler. 

He can feel the embarrassment growing in his chest at getting caught with his hand on another guy’s knee, but he refuses to remove his hand. He’s tired of letting other people’s judgements control him. 

Chris stares the lawyer straight in the face and casually moves his hand up Adrian’s thigh until it’s resting just a little too high to be friendly.

Adrian misunderstands the gesture and places his hand on top of Chris’. He turns Chris’ hand so their palms are touching and then links their fingers together. Adrian does it so casually, like they hold hands all the time. Like they’re lovers or something.

The lawyer coughs and slams the briefcase onto the desk with an unnecessary bang.

Chris turns towards the lawyer and realises he’d been staring at Adrian.

The lawyer undoes the locks on his briefcase with a sharp click-clack. His name is something dull like Jones or Johnson. Chris can’t remember because it doesn’t matter.

“Let’s get started shall we? Gentleman?” Says the lawyer pulling out a pile of papers.

Chris nods and almost immediately tunes out his words, watching but not listening as the lawyer’s jaw moves up and down.

It’s not on purpose. It’s been a weird couple of weeks. Chris is tired. Tired of paperwork and appointments. 

It was strange how much paperwork was involved after you had saved the world.

At least his father’s cremation had been simple to organise. There had been no service, no flowers. Nothing. Just him and Adrian watching his father burn in a cheap box to ensure he was really gone.
 
He’ll be glad once everything is over this afternoon. 

He’s secretly hoping that the dead will then stay buried. The ghost dad thing is getting old fast. After the cremation he and Adrian had buried the ashes deep in the woods and pissed on them for good measure. 

All it had done was piss off his father’s ghost.
 
Drink is the only thing that seems to get rid of his father. If only for a few hours. 

Harcourt had sent him a bottle of cheap whisky. She’s still in hospital but on the mend. 

The bottle is sitting on his kitchen counter just begging to be drunk. 

Adrian’s hand on top of his is warm and distracting. 

Perhaps he should invite Adrian over for a drink as thank you. Chris prefers company when he drinks. Right now he can’t think of better company. 

Adrian would be down. He’s always down.

Adrian suddenly squeezes his hand, like maybe he knows Chris has been thinking about him. 

“Dude!?” Adrian whispers loudly into his ear.

“Fuck!” Chris swears jerking his head away from the noise. He looks at Adrian who stares back at him and points at the lawyer with his free hand.

“Sorry.” Chris says turning back to the lawyer and running a hand through his short hair. “Uh. You were saying?” He says realising he was probably asked a question when he wasn’t paying attention.

The lawyer coughs into his hand again. “As I was saying, you are the only surviving heir…” 

Chris bristles in his seat, annoyed by the unnecessary mention of his brother. He was tired of all the jabs about him murdering all his family. His father’s ghost reminded him of that constantly.

Adrian’s grip tightens on his hand, like he thinks Chris might do something stupid. Holding Adrian’s hand does seem to help a little. Their hands fit together well like matching puzzle pieces.

The lawyer continues. “…While normally the circumstances of your father’s death would render you unable to inherit, however the so called superhero laws allow under section 142 subsection c…”

Chris sighs, he hated lawyer talk. “Just give me the shorthand.” He barks.

“You get everything dude! The house! The car! The money! Everything!” Adrian blurts excitedly. He raises both hands up in the air excitedly, bringing Chris’ hand, the one he’s still holding tightly, with him.

“Bullshit.” He swears, certain his father never intended to leave him anything. “I don’t believe this.” He says because he doesn’t. As far as he was aware his father didn’t have any money.

Adrian helpfully pinches him in the arm unasked. 

“Nope. You’re awake.” He grins looking at him like he’s won the lottery.

Chris doesn’t feel pleased. He feels like he’s killed a Nazi and inherited a bunch of shitty Nazi shit.

The lawyer pushes his glasses up his nose. “Your friend is more or less correct." He says, pronouncing the word friend disdainfully. “Christopher will get everything his father left.” The lawyer spits his name like it’s a foul word. “Assuming that you marry before your next birthday that is.” 

Chris frowns uncertain he’s hearing this correctly. His birthday was only a couple of weeks away. That gave him just under a month to get married.

“It was a condition of your inheritance. Your father was of the opinion that no one would be willing to marry you. Fifty thousand dollar inheritance or not.” The lawyer explains with a sick smirk.

His father’s ghost speaks up from where he stands in the corner of the room. 

“I told him no chick would ever want to be married to a cock sucking faggot like you.” He says laughing cruelly, his belly shaking. 

Of course no one but Chris can hear his insults.

Chris is half tempted to say he doesn’t want it. That they can burn it all. But fifty thousand dollars was a lot of money. And he still needed a new car.

“What happens to everything if I fail to meet the deadline?” He asks trying to think of a suitable bride. He thinks of his most recent lays. One chick was dead and the other already married. That just left Adrian, who wasn’t even a chick but had a hell of a mouth. 

The old man smiles. “In that instance, everything will go to the various charitable organisations your father supported.”

Chris knows what kind of organisations his father supported. He’s not giving the money to some clan.

He pinches his brow. Today wasn’t meant to be stressful. 

Adrian’s hand shoots into the air like he’s in school. “I have a question? What if Chris marries a guy? Would he still inherit?”

Chris elbows Adrian in the side. But it’s too late because Adrian’s already asked the question.

The lawyer looks down at Chris and Adrian, at their joined hands and rolls his eyes dismissively. 

Chris feels almost like punching him. The lawyer. Not Adrian. Not that it would help anything.

After years of abuse it takes a lot for Chris to display his emotions. But right now his face feels aflame with embarrassment. He can hear his father laughing at him in the corner. 

He squashes those feelings down and tries to smother the flames of embarrassment. After all he has no reason to be embarrassed. 

“Yes.” The lawyer replies eventually, his lips a thin unhappy line. “Legally that sort of union would be valid and so Christopher would of course be able to inherit.” He looks at the papers again, pushing them around. “However Christopher’s father mentioned he would prefer Christopher marry a woman of virtue and pure blood.” 

Chris can’t help but snort at that. Clearly his father didn’t draft the will well enough to ensure Chris had to marry a lady. He doesn’t know anyone who fits that narrow criteria. Even if he did he wouldn’t want to marry her.  He can’t imagine she would want to marry him either. Not even for half the money.

Adrian fidgets in the chair beside him, his mind turning.

“I’m none of those things.” Adrian says quietly looking down at his shoes. “But Chris I’d marry you.” 

Chapter Text

Somehow Chris manages to keep his cool until they’re out of the lawyer’s office.

“What the fuck dude?! That was like the lamest proposal ever!” He says yelling at Adrian, embarrassed at being suddenly put on the spot like that. “I can't believe you said that in front of my dad-'s lawyer!” Chris says remembering just in time that Adrian can't see or hear Auggie’s ghost and all the shit he says.

“Is that a no then?” Adrian asks following Chris back to the car. He lags behind obviously upset and makes Chris feel bad for yelling at him. Adrian was his second best friend. It wasn’t his fault he said stupid stuff without thinking. 

He and Adrian would make terrible husbands. They argued all the time.

Chris shakes his head. “No. I'm not counting that as a proposal. You can't just ask like that. It's gotta be planned out. Romantic. Flowers and shit!” Chris explains trying and failing not to yell again.

Adrian nods understandingly. “I didn’t know you liked flowers.” He says looking at Chris with big wide eyes. “What kind?”

Chris shrugs. “I don’t know. I have allergies. It’s just an example.” He’s never been proposed to before but he’s seen movies. Movie proposals were always cool and elaborate. Adrian loved romcoms, he could do way better than blurting it out suddenly in a grimy office.

“So you'll say yes if I do it properly?” Adrian asks cheering up a little bit.

“Wait, you were serious about this?” Chris asks stopping suddenly and turning around so he can stare at Adrian. 

Adrian walks into him with a soft oof as his face presses into Chris’ chest like an accidental motorboat. 

Chris reaches out and wraps one arm around Adrian’s waist to stop him from falling over. 

He had assumed Adrian was just joking earlier and lashed out. Like he always did.

Adrian smiles up at him. “Thanks dude!” He says fixing his glasses and patting Chris on the shoulder.

Chris pauses, feeling his cheeks heat up as Adrian looks at him. Adrian wasn’t a joker. If Adrian said he’d marry Chris then he probably would.

His heart pounds and his mouth goes dry. 

All Chris had to do was ask him.

“Course I’d marry you for real dude. Fifty thousand is a lot. Even half that would be amazing.” Adrian says mistaking the pause in the conversation as his cue to talk.

“Right. Yeah. The money would be great.” Chris replies pushing down the weird feelings blooming in his chest. 

Is he disappointed Adrian just cares about money? They both know what it’s like to be poor. Getting married for the inheritance makes sense. Chris can burn all the Nazi shit and Adrian can spend his half of the money on… whatever he wants. It would be win-win for both of them.

Chris lets go of Adrian, aware they’re still in the lawyer’s car park probably being watched by that creepy fucker.

They get in the car and Adrian drives them back to the trailer park.

Chris asks him to stay for a movie marathon. Having Adrian around helps him ignore his dad. They drink the cheap whisky and argue about stupid things until the sun goes down. 

Chris tries to forget their earlier conversation. But it’s difficult when Adrian sits so close on the couch. Chris wants to wrap an arm around Adrian. 

If Chris was honest with himself the idea of marrying Adrian is growing on him even though he’s never really thought about marriage before. 

If they were married Adrian would be around all the time. It would be fun. Chris would probably go crazy in about two weeks. But it would be a good two weeks.

So what if Adrian doesn’t love him?

His father’s house is a little bigger than the trailer. They could have separate rooms. It would be like having a roommate. But better since Adrian isn't a stranger.

Chris stretches, intending to put his arm around Adrian and ask.

He wants to ask. Adrian will you marry me? It’s barely a sentence let alone a question. It should be easy. Adrian is bound to say yes.

And yet Chris hesitates as one film ends and they start on another. He doesn’t want to ruin things. Adrian is all he has really. Besides Eagly.

Right around the beginning of the third film of the evening, Adrian’s phone beeps, pulling Chris from his thoughts. Chris pauses the movie while Adrian dances around looking for his phone. 

Eventually Adrian picks it up from the floor under the couch and laughs. 

“I forgot to turn the alarm off.” Adrian explains turning it off. “Good thing I don’t have work today. Shit. Dude we forgot to eat.” Adrian says noticing the time on his phone.

Once food is mentioned Chris can’t help but feel hungry. They explore his cupboards but he doesn’t actually have anything in beside Eagly food so they settle on delivery.

Chris wouldn’t usually do junk food twice in one day but they’re both drunk and hungry so it’ll have to do.

Adrian calls up the local pizza place while Chris heads to the bathroom for a piss. 

Adrian usually uses the app because he hates talking to people but apparently tonight is an exception as he whispers excitedly down the phone. 

Adrian probably found a coupon or something Chris decides, his powerful stream preventing him from hearing exactly what Adrian was saying.

Thirty minutes later and the pizza guy is knocking on the door.

Chris gets there first despite Adrian elbowing him in the face like it’s a race.

The pizza guy smirks at Chris when he opens the door.

“Here you go. Two large pizzas and extra onion rings. Good luck.” He says handing him their food and giving him a thumbs up along with a wink.

Chris frowns at the pizza guy confused, but tips him all the same. He was probably high or something.

Chris carries the boxes to the kitchen counter, ignoring Adrian’s pleas to help with the food. Adrian’s already done way too much for him today.

Chris chucks him the bag of onion rings and flips open the first pizza box.

Marry me? Is written in sharpie on the top of the pizza box. Someone even drew a wonky heart around the words.

Chris freezes for a second, heart caught in his throat. This can’t be real. This can’t be for him.
 
Chris can’t help but smile despite his secret envy. “Dude I think they sent us someone else’s box.” He laughs looking down at the little heart shaped peperoni’s on the pizza. 

He turns around to find Adrian kneeling by the coffee table holding a single greasy onion ring in his hand.

“Dude you are my favourite person in the whole world. I love fighting bad guys with you and blowing stuff up together. I’d do anything you asked just to see you smile. Chris will you marry me?” He asks offering Chris the greasy onion ring.

“Dude this is so fucking cheesy.” Chris tells him because it is. It’s also the most romantic thing to ever happen to him. He wipes at his eyes which are damp and not just because of the spicy peperoni.

Adrian frowns. “Dude are you crying? Did I do it wrong again?” He asks slowly getting up off the floor.

Chris puts a hand on Adrian’s shoulder stopping him from getting up. “Yes. I mean no. No you didn’t mess anything up. I just can’t believe you planned this all so quickly.” He says getting down on his knees so they’re the same height.

Adrian smiles. “Dude you know I’m awesome at strategy! This is better than this morning yeah?” He asks, his hesitation clear across his face like he’s worried Chris will turn him down again.

Chris is an idiot. But he’s not stupid enough to turn down two proposals on the very same day.

“Yeah I’ll marry you Adrian.” He says his face breaking into a smile as he lets Adrian slide the fried onion ring onto his finger. It’s greasy and warm but also weirdly perfect.

“Fuck yeah!” Adrian yells elatedly punching the air with both fists. “Now we’ll get to spend every day together!”

“Of course you’ll marry that fucking fag. You love his retarded ass don’t you?” His father says ruining the moment.

Chris ignores him because he’s dead and this is their night.

“Dork.” Chris says pulling Adrian close. He wraps an arm around him. It’s easy now that Adrian’s done all the heavy lifting. He presses his face close to Adrian’s. “We should take a selfie right?” He asks having seen numerous engagement photos on Facebook.

Adrian nods and pulls his phone out.

The camera isn’t that great and the lighting could be better. But their smiles are perfect. Adrian must think so too since he immediately changes his phone background. 

Chris can’t help but sneak a kiss or two to Adrian’s cheeks just before the next photo timer goes off. Adrian looks even better with flushed cheeks.

Of course Adrian retaliates, kissing him back until they’re both breathless and pink cheeked. 

“Hey, the pizza’s getting cold.” Adrian says, his tummy rumbling loudly. He jumps up and heads to the kitchen and the neglected pizza. “Want me to fix you a plate?” He offers sweet as always.

Chris nods and looks down at his hand. “Will you be offended if I eat the ring?” Chris asks because he’s starving and onion rings are his secret weakness.

Adrian shrugs, his mouth already full of pizza. Chris waits for him to chew.

“There are a dozen more in the bag. Just leave some for me.” Adrian says like he wouldn’t buy Chris more onion rings if Chris wanted them.

Chris nods and watches as Adrian opens the kitchen window, letting Eagly inside.

Adrian strokes his feathers and coos at the eagle. “Guess what Eagly? Chris and I are getting married!!” 

Eagly screeches happily in reply and Chris takes that as his approval.

Chapter Text

The next morning Chris lends Adrian a clean band t-shirt. It’s tight on Chris but loose on Adrian. There isn’t much they can do about the rest of his clothes, Adrian’s been sleeping over pretty much every night since Chris killed his dad. So much so that none of the spare clothes he’d brought are clean.

So Adrian goes commando, complaining as he does so. 

“How the hell are we going to plan a wedding in under a month?” Chris asks as he fills a second bag with dirty laundry, stealthily watching Adrian dress in the bedroom mirror and feeling guilty about doing so at the same time. “I can barely manage going to the laundrette with all this superhero shit going on.” 

He hasn’t actually gone to the laundrette since getting out of jail. But that’s not the point.

Adrian slides his shoes on and jumps up from the bed. “Dude! I have a great idea! I know how we can do both at the same time!” He says a huge grin on his face.

Chris can’t refuse that face. Especially not after last night.

Which is how Adrian ends up driving them both over to his mother’s house.

“Dude what the fuck?!” Chris swears doing his best to keep his voice down.

Adrian turns and looks at him confused. “What?”

“Why the hell are we at your mom’s house? I thought we were going to the laundrette?” Chris half whispers, worried that Adrian’s mom is going to come out and catch them together at any moment.

“I know. But we can do laundry here for free. Plus I really wants some clean underwear.” Adrian says wiggling in his seat as he turns off the engine. He gets out of the car before Chris can stop him.

Chris grabs the laundry bags and follows him reluctantly up the long driveway. He hasn’t been over here in years but the house looks the same. “I thought you wanted to do wedding stuff too?” He adds confused.

Adrian nods. “My mom loves weddings. She has tons of wedding magazines and binders. We can look through them for ideas while we wait for our laundry to dry.”

It’s a good fucking plan. But then Adrian is great at making plans. But Chris feels like an awkward teenager again as they walk up to the house. And thinking of being a teenager again, just reminds him how much younger Adrian is compared to him.  

“Does your mom still work nights in the ER?” He asks hoping that the house is empty, although the other car parked on the driveway suggests otherwise. Chris recalled the former Mrs Chase had hardly ever been home and when she was she’d mostly be sleeping. 

As long as they were quiet they could do pretty much whatever they wanted, like watch R rated movies and drink a whole bottle of soda. They being Chris and Gut because Chris had been an ass to Adrian back then.

Adrian shakes his head and laughs. “She’s semi-retired now dude. She does like three days a week at the local clinic. Normal hours though.” He explains pulling out a key and unlocking the front door.

“Mom I’m home and I’ve company!” Adrian yells as he steps inside and takes his coat off. “I brought my BFF over to meet you!” He adds sounding so chipper he could be a fucking Disney character.

“Dude what the fuck?” Chris hisses, standing in the entryway. He feels like a trapped rat just after the cage has been sprung. He knew that they’d have to tell people before the wedding but he’d assumed they’d start with texting the rest of the gang first. Not with him meeting Adrian’s mom. Again.

It felt like they were skipping a whole bunch of steps. 

“My mom hates people wearing shoes inside.” Adrian explains removing his, oblivious to Chris’ panic. Like Chris would have forgotten the house rules. The Chases were one of the few families in the neighbourhood that would even let Chris over to play because of his racist dad. 

For a minute Chris contemplates running away before kicking off his shoes and lining them up neatly on the shoe rack. He wasn’t a coward. Besides it was already too late to back out. Not without hurting Adrian.

“That’s nice. I’m in the kitchen honey.” Adrian’s mom calls back, apparently unconcerned about an unexpected guest. 

The sound of her voice brings back memories. Chris used to love hanging around this house, playing video games and getting a hot home cooked meal. 

Chris used to come here to hide from his father and his father’s friends and pretend he was a normal kid for a couple of hours. He’d be beaten when he got home for missing his weapons training but the beatings he took were worth it.

Adrian grabs his hand and leads him to the kitchen. Chris lets him. He feels like he’s drowning and Adrian is his life ring. 

Thinking about life rings makes him think about wedding rings and the wedding in general. It had only been a day since he’d learnt about the will and only half a day since Adrian proposed. But Adrian had pointed out they didn’t really have any time to waste. Not if they want the house.

Chris doesn’t know what to say to Adrian’s mom. He isn’t the kid she used to know. He knows he isn’t well liked around town. He’s a murderer and an asshole.

What if she disapproves?

Is he even meant to ask for her permission? Adrian’s the one who proposed to him after all.

Adrian squeezes his hand bringing Chris out of his head. 

“Relax. Just breathe.” Adrian says softly, his voice barely a whisper.

Chris relaxes, then realises Adrian isn’t talking to him. He’s staring at himself in the hallway mirror. 

Chris squeezes Adrian’s hand back. They can’t both be afraid of Adrian’s mom. She doesn’t even have superpowers.

Adrian pushes open the kitchen door. The cupboards and counter are new and the kitchen walls are green now but the kitchen table is the same one Chris used to do his homework on. 

Adrian’s mom is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a newspaper. She looks older than Chris remembers but then it has been years since he last saw her. 

Even after he stopped hanging around Gut, she used to patch him up after fights until he got good enough at patching himself up that he stopped bothering the local emergency room for small stuff like stab wounds. 

Her curly brown hair is now various shades of grey but she’s aged well considering she has Adrian for a son. She’s wearing a brown jumper and jeans. She looks boring and normal just like a mom should.

Adrian let’s go of Chris’ hand and wanders across to the fridge. He absentmindedly kisses his mom in greeting on the forehead on his way. 

“Hey mom. You remember Chris right?” Adrian asks opening the fridge and grabbing two cans off brand diet cola.
 
“Hello Ms Saunders.” Chris waves, feeling awkward and adrift in the doorway. He had always been on his best behaviour whenever he visited, afraid of being an imposition. That fear might work in his favour now. Adrian’s mom had always thought well of him.

Adrian’s mom looks up from her newspaper and stares at Chris, looking him over. Her brown eyes are just like Adrian’s. It isn’t until she smiles at him that Chris realises he’s been holding his breath.

“Of course I remember Christopher, sweetheart.”

It had felt bad being called his full name at the lawyer’s office, but Adrian’s mom says his name with fond affection. 

God he used to wish she was his mother. Maybe this is god’s weird way of making it come true in a roundabout fashion.

She pushes a chair out with her foot and silently beckons for Chris to come sit. Chris sits and suddenly remembers being called a good polite boy when he was about thirteen. 

It was the first nice thing anyone had said to him since Keith’s’ death.

He sits up straight and tucks his chair in, aware this is probably his only shot at seeming like a good potential son in law. He thanks god he’s not wearing one of his vintage band t-shirts but instead a proper button up and his good jeans. Clothes Ads had bought him after the final showdown at the ranch.

Adrian’s mom folds up her newspaper and looks over at Adrian. “So this is who you’ve been sneaking off to see recently.” She says sounding more than a little surprised that Adrian actually brought a friend home. “I thought maybe you had a girlfriend darling.” She teases, turning and winking at Chris.

“About that, Ms Saunders.” Chris starts.

“You can call me Martha.” Interrupts Ms Saunders. “You’re practically family after all.” She says patting his hands affectionately. “If I’d known you were coming over I’d have made a cake. Do you still like brownies Christopher? Adrian is such a secretive boy. I didn’t even know you were out of prison!” 

Adrian shrugs and hands a can of cola to Chris. “It was confidential. Don’t you watch the news? He was on a secret undercover crime fighting team.” He says jumping up and doing a high kick. 

Adrian loses his balance, his socked feet slipping on the clean tiled floor and awkwardly lands on his ass.

Chris laughs aloud before he can stop himself.

He regrets it immediately and rushes to Adrian’s side to help him up.

Adrian beams at him. “Thanks dude!” He says kissing Chris on the cheek.

His mother shakes her head and bites back her own laugh. “You know I only read the cartoons and the recipe section.” She says returning to the previous topic of conversation.

Adrian nods. “Yeah well, Chris saved the world! Is it okay if we use the washing machine? Chris is out of clean Peacemaker uniforms.” Adrian asks opening his cola. 

It fizzes and spills all over Adrian.

“Fuck.” Adrian swears. 

“Language Adrian!” Scolds his mother getting up to get some paper towels.

“It’s all over your shirt. Sorry Chris.” He says removing his top. He laughs. “Now I guess we really need to do laundry.”

Chris tries and fails to not stare at Adrian’s abs.

Adrian’s mom apparently catches him staring too, turning around a little too quickly. 
  
“So how long has this been going on?” She asks with a barely contained smile, handing the kitchen roll to Adrian.

Adrian grabs the roll and rips off a couple of sheets. He starts drying himself, oblivious to the effect he has over Chris while topless.

“How long has what been happening?” Adrian asks repeating her question.

His mother rolls her eyes. “Adrian. We both know you can’t lie to me. It’s obvious you’re sleeping with Christopher.”

Adrian’s face turns bright red. “What? No. I- I only like girls.” He stutters, clearly lying. 

Chris suddenly realises Adrian isn’t out to mother yet. Most likely he hasn’t told the rest of his family either. It’s probably something they should have discussed first as fiancés before visiting. 

He remembers Auggie had once beaten him until he was bloody and unable to walk. He’d been left for dead on the side of the road. And that wasn’t even punishment for being bi.

Chris knows Martha isn’t like that. But still he finds himself frozen.

Chris doesn’t want to cause trouble for Adrian. Adrian had been young, when the Chases divorced. Chris was older, old enough to remember the scandal, the grainy photos splashed all over the local newspapers.

They had been the perfect family until Adrian’s father had broken his wife’s heart. No doubt Adrian worried about breaking her heart all over again.

Adrian’s mom was the kindest sweetest woman Chris had ever met. Not that he’s known much kindness. But he still tenses in seat afraid of her next words.

Adrian’s mom sighs. “You know I hate liars. Baby you’ve never brought anyone home to meet me before. You’ve been smiling nonstop for weeks now. You stayed out all night and you’re wearing his clothes. Not to mention that kiss.” Martha counters folding her arms. She would have made a good detective. Still could. The local police department were recruiting.

Adrian lets the damp paper drop onto the floor. He opens his mouth and shuts it again failing to find his words. 

Adrian’s mother smiles softly at him. “Oh honey. It’s alright.” She says cupping her son’s cheek in her hand. “I’m not mad. I’m glad you finally found someone who cherishes you.”

Chris feels himself burn in his seat at her words. 

“I know young people don’t like labels. But are you boyfriends?” She asks looking between them hoping for confirmation.

Adrian opens his mouth but Chris is quicker.

“We’re engaged, Martha.” Chris confesses half afraid of Adrian’s reply. The quickest way to end an interrogation is to just confess everything. “Adrian asked me yesterday.” He adds feeling his cheeks heat up further.

Her face lifts just like he’d hoped. “Engaged to be married? Really?” She asks, lighting up excitedly.  

Adrian mistakes her elation for disbelief and helpfully pinches her on the arm.

“Shit-take mushrooms. Adrian.” His mother swears rubbing her arm. “I did not need you to pinch me. I was being rhetorical. I believe you both.”

“Oh. Sorry mom.” Adrian apologises automatically.

“It’s alright honey.” She wraps her arms around Adrian and kisses both his cheeks. “Oh I can’t wait to plan your wedding!”

Chapter Text

“I don’t have any money.” Chris admits once Adrian disappears downstairs to change into clean clothes. “Not enough for a proper wedding and decent rings. Not right away anyway.” He adds leaning his head against his fist, avoiding Adrian’s mother’s eyes. 

It’s embarrassing to admit to her that he’s broke. After all these years he wishes he had something to show besides the scars. Is it weird that he want to impress her? Show her that Adrian has made a good choice?

“Once we get married Chris will get his inheritance and we’ll be rich! His dead Nazi dad left Chris his house and lots of money.” Adrian yells from the basement interrupting with all the delicacy of a sledge hammer dropping onto your foot.

Chris had assumed Adrian wouldn’t be able to hear them from the basement. 

“Babe we’re having a private conversation!” He yells embarrassed.

“Oh. Sorry!” Adrian apologies. “I’ll put the washing machine on to drown you out.” 

Adrian’s mother frowns. “Honey you make it sound like you’re just after Christopher’s money.” She yells back, a thick stack of wedding magazines in her hands from her hoard.

“No?! I’m after his dad’s money. We’re gonna split it.” Adrian yells back earnestly.

The washing machine turns on with a whoosh and a rumble preventing any reply from reaching Adrian’s ears.

Martha sighs and sits back down at the kitchen table opposite Chris. She shakes her head and spreads the magazines out.

“I don’t fully know what he’s on about. But I know he doesn’t mean it like that. He adores you. I can see it. You know that right Christopher?” She asks putting her hand on top of his. 

She looks across at him with those eyes that remind him too much of Adrian. 

Chris nods, remembering Adrian’s proposal. Adrian hadn’t said I love you in so many words. But the sentiment was there. He’d felt it in the strength of Adrian’s smile.

“There’s really no need to rush into anything.” She assures him closing the big fat wedding binder she’d just placed onto the kitchen table. “You must think me silly rushing to plan the wedding already. You probably want to take your time and do it all yourselves.”

He expects to see disappointment but she looks at him with something else. Something he doesn’t know how to name. Fondness perhaps.

Chris shakes his head. He could do with the help. He’s never been to a wedding before let alone planned one. He’d probably just surrender to all Adrian’s desires and just get married in the woods.

Martha’s eyes brighten as he tells her that. 

“Oh those damn woods! The amount of times he comes home with twigs in his hair!” She laughs fondly.

“I remember that time years ago, when he fell over in the woods and you carried him all the way to the hospital. You walked for miles and his leg wasn’t even broken, just cut up and badly sprained. You were so worried. I think you cried even more than Dorian.”

Chris remembers that day. They’d been kids, just messing about climbing trees. Dorian had been showing off, swinging from the branch like a monkey and he’d accidentally kicked his younger brother in the face. Adrian had lost his grip on the thick branch. He’d fallen into a pile of autumn leaves. He had laid there still and silent, seemingly dead.

Adrian had lived of course. But Chris remembers the fear and the dread in his stomach as he carried Adrian to the hospital. 

He had expected everyone to blame him, to yell at him. Instead he’d been called a hero.

“You’ve always been terribly fond of Adrian. I could tell the moment you walked through the door you were sweet on him.” Martha declares and Chris can see the truth in her words. Truth he’s been trying to ignore.

“A wedding isn’t really about the money you spend. It’s not about showing off. It’s not about the number of guests. It’s about the sentiment, about how you feel in your heart.” She adds taking his hand again. 

Chris doesn’t want to think about his heart. He thinks of the impending deadline, his birthday. 

He thinks of his father’s house and all the bad memories. He thinks of his father’s car and all the blood that has probably soaked into the backseat. 

He thinks of the money and all the ways it will help Adrian and Eagly. 

His new phone is full of photos of Eagly and Adrian. Economos promises they’re safe on the cloud. Chris still doesn’t know what the cloud is but he imagines them floating above him on mounds of fresh candyfloss.

It would make a nice collage if he did them. He’d put it on his wall for everyone to see. 

“I guess we’ll just elope. We can have a big party after at Fennel Fields.” He sighs, staring enviously at a magazine cover featuring two smiling grooms dressed in smart black suits. If he had a choice, he’d prefer to do things properly with rings and cake. The whole nine yards.

Not that he can see the two of them in a church standing through a long dull ceremony.

The coffee mug falls from Martha’s hand. It falls to the floor and shatters pieces flying everywhere. Martha doesn’t look at the mug, or the mess on the floor, she looks at Chris like he’s just insulted god or her cooking.

“You don’t want me at your wedding? At Adrian’s wedding?” She asks deeply upset. She looks like she might cry.

“I didn’t say that!” Chris yells, raising his voice and immediately regretting it. He feels like an asshole. “That’s not what I meant. Of course we want you there. It’s just all I can afford right now.” He tells her, wondering if he should tell her about the deadline.

She smiles at him but it’s a small, bittersweet smile compared to when he told her they were engaged.

Feeling guilty Chris gets up and picks the pieces of china off the floor.

“You should do it right. I’m sure Adrian wouldn’t mind waiting. He’ll understand.” Martha says helping him.

His lip shakes. “I can’t wait. I can’t make him wait.” He says his voice cracking despite his best efforts to keep it steady. “Not again.” He adds, thinking of those lost four years and of Adrian ardently waiting for him. “I need him.”

“Oh Christopher.” Martha says wiping at her eyes. She passes him a piece of clean paper towel.

“I just want to make it special for him.” Chris admits, feeling tears spill down his cheeks. Without the inheritance, Adrian doesn’t have a reason to marry him.

He wipes at his eyes, and waits for his dad to say something shitty. 

Nothing comes. 

He looks up and realises that for once his ghost father isn’t hiding in the corner. This house had always been his sanctuary. He feels safe in this kitchen. It makes sense his father wouldn’t be allowed inside. 

He’s been too busy looking for his father that it takes him a second to realise Martha has gotten up from her seat. She dries his cheeks and wraps her arms around him.

“You’re right. Your wedding should be special. You should have the wedding you both want. Adrian’s my youngest. My baby. I have some savings. I’ll pay for the wedding. But I want to be involved in the planning. We’ll need a proper venue, it’s far too cold this time of year for an outside wedding.”

Chris wants to tell her no. That it's too much.

But she kisses his forehead and his objections die on his tongue.

“God there is so much to do! You said soon right? A winter wedding! You should probably go downstairs and tell Adrian. I’ve a lot of calls to make.” She says patting his shoulder as she picks up the cordless phone from the table and presses speed dial.

“Mom? It’s Martha. Are you sitting down?” Adrian’s getting married! No! My Adrian. He’s thirty one mom. Of course he’s old enough.” She says tucking the phone against her shoulder as she talks to Adrian’s grandmother. “He’s engaged to Christopher Smith. Of course you’ve met him! He’s Peacemaker. You know he got rid of those vampires that were lurking in your attic…”  

Chapter Text

Chris opens the door to the basement to find Adrian sitting near the top step alone in the dark.

“Fuck! Adrian.” Chris swears switching on the light. He’d almost tripped over him.

Adrian turns around and smiles at him. “Hey Chris!” He says with a dorky little wave. 

Chris frowns at him. If it was anyone else sitting there in the dark it would be creepy. But he knows Adrian, knows how he thinks. He’d purposely sat there quietly with the light off so to be unnoticeable. It was stupid and sneaky. Exactly the way Adrian rolled.

“I thought you were gonna put on some clean underwear, and let me talk to your mom alone. You were listening?” Chris asks, already knowing the answer. 

Adrian points at his teal t-shirt and clashing red jacket. “I changed. I did it real quick so I didn’t miss anything.” Adrian explains. He looks pleased with himself which makes it difficult, for Chris to be mad. 

Difficult but not completely impossible.

“Unless you’d prefer I pretend I wasn’t listening?” Adrian adds realising too late this might be a trick question.

Chris sighs and runs a hand through his short hair. He’d told Adrian’s mom a lot of emotional stuff. Stuff he hadn’t necessarily told Adrian yet. The two of them didn’t really talk about feelings much. Which was probably something they both needed to work on. Especially since they’re getting married. 

At least Adrian’s snooping means he doesn’t have to repeat himself later.

Chris isn’t entirely sure how to talk about feelings. It usually just comes pouring out. But he knows the easiest way to diffuse a bomb is to cut all the wires and hope for the best. Chris decides to try cutting his bullshit and be honest for once.

“It’s fine.” Chris says taking Adrian’s hand and helping him up so there was less of gap between them.

Adrian doesn’t really need the help, but Chris likes any excuse to touch him. 

“Just so you know, my mom is totally going to take over the wedding planning. She’s like a momzilla.” Adrian tells him bouncing on the spot.

Chris shrugs. “Hey I’m not complaining, not if she’s paying.” He doesn’t really care too much about the little details like napkins or flowers. 

Adrian smiles. “She’ll be pleased.”

Chris squeezed his hand. “Hey uh. Was there a reason your mom freaked out about us eloping?”

Adrian nods. “She has a thing about eloping. ‘Cause Dorian eloped to Las Vegas and didn’t even invite her or any of the family. She still complains about it.”

“Gut’s married? Wow.”

“You were in prison.” Adrian explains like Chris cares about being invited to Gut’s wedding.

“You uh. Said a lot of nice stuff. Do you really want our wedding to be special?” Adrian asks unable to keep his pretty mouth shut.

Chris automatically opens his mouth to say something mean. Because he’s scared. Scared how much he cares. 

But he bites back the bitter words sitting on his tongue, the words his father taught him, because he’s trying hard not to be a dick to Adrian. Because somehow Adrian has slipped over the walls surrounding his heart, destroyed all his defences and made a home there in his chest.

“Our wedding will be special ‘cause I’m marrying you.” Chris protests. The words sound cheesy to his own ears. “It’s not like I’m going to go through all this a second time.” He tells Adrian hoping he will read between the lines. 

Adrian smiles big and wide clearly over the moon with his answer. “So I’m your babe now?” He asks pushing his luck, and looking ridiculously cute. Fucking dimples upon dimples. It’s too much.

Chris shrugs and looks at his feet. The endearment had slipped out naturally. “Seems your mom already took darling and honey. Doesn’t leave me many options.” 

“She also calls me sweetheart sometimes.” Adrian adds turning so his back is resting against the wall next to the light switch. 

“What are you going to call me?” Chris asks leaning one arm against the wall blocking Adrian in. The staircase is narrow, encased by walls on both sides. With the door above them closed they’re intimately pressed up together on the stairs.

He grabs Adrian’s chin with his other hand and tilts Adrian’s face up so they’re looking at each other.

“What do you want me to call you?” Adrian asks turning the question back onto Chris.

Chris has been called lots of things before. But he’s never had a nickname from a lover. An endearment.

Chris hasn’t loved anyone properly since Keith. He had loved and feared and hated his father in equal measures. But his father didn’t deserve his love. His father hated him. His father had fucked him up immeasurably in a multitude of ways.

Especially emotionally.
 
Adrian already calls him tons of things. Bestie, BFF, Buddy. Chris secretly loves them all. He’s just too emotionally constipated to admit it.

“Let me think about it okay?” Chris says, aware Adrian would happily call him whatever he wanted. Even something ridiculous and sappy, like beloved.

He runs a hand down Adrian’s jacket and realises it’s an old high school jacket. He frowns as he looks at the golden pins still adorning the jacket. 

“You were on the wrestling team?” He asks staring at the little gold sports pin for the wrestling team. Two tiny nude golden dudes who are clearly mid fuck doggy style. 

“You kept this?” He asks, suddenly imagining his Adrian in one of those skimpy singlets being pinned down by some muscular stranger. He knows it’s stupid to be jealous over something that happened years ago back in high school. But he grabs Adrian by his shirt and pulls him close anyway. One hand fists Adrian’s shirt while the other kneads Adrian’s thick arse.

Adrian looks up at him with eyes full of lust and shakes his head. “I was on the cheer team. It’s yours. I found it at the back of your wardrobe this morning.” Adrian explains wrapping his arms around Chris’ neck and leaning in close. 

“You stole it?” Chris asks, surprised since Adrian basically hates all crimes petty or not. 

Adrian looks aghast. “No! I took it. That’s different! It’s too small to fit you. We’re getting married and moving in together. That means we share everything now right?” 

Chris doesn’t answer. Instead he presses a kiss to Adrian’s throat because he doesn’t want to argue. Not when he can do better things to Adrian.  

They probably should talk about what exactly being married means to them. And also about personal property because he’s actually a little annoyed Adrian just took his jacket without asking.

But not right now because the sight of Adrian wearing his high school jacket is doing awful things to his cock. As is the thought of Adrian as a cheerleader.

He kisses up Adrian’s jaw until he finds Adrian’s lips and then his tongue. Adrian tastes of cola and artificial sweeteners. Chris slowly slides one hand down the back of Adrian’s jeans. To his disappointment he finds Adrian really had put on some boxer shorts.

Chris grinds his hardening cock against Adrian’s leg, just so Adrian can feel that he’s not wearing any underwear.

Adrian pulls away just as things start heating up. “Dude it’s super dangerous to kiss on the stairs. There’s a couch downstairs we could use.” He says taking Chris’ hand to lead him down the stairs safely.

Chris blushes. He’d kissed Adrian without thinking about where exactly they were. “I don’t want to get in trouble.” He mumbles suddenly remembering Adrian’s mother is only a few feet away in the kitchen. “What if your mom comes down here and catches us?” He asks biting his lip. 

“She won’t come down.” Adrian assures him, kissing his hand. “She’s too busy calling up everyone in the phone book and telling them about us.” Adrian pulled out his phone with his other hand and glanced at it. “Good. We’ve got forty five minutes.” He said putting it back in his pocket.

“Forty five minutes? Why only forty five minutes?”

“Because that’s when the wash cycle ends duh. We have to move the clothes into the dryer otherwise they’ll get musty.” Adrian explains helpfully like Chris hasn’t done laundry before. “I’m really good at removing blood stains. But we’ll be here a while, cause it’s really dried in to your uniforms. There are at least two more loads.”

Adrian smirks and does a special double blink, because he still hasn’t mastered winking with one eye. “I’ve got some special loads waiting for you too.” He adds pointing at the front of his pants and laughing at his own dumb sex joke.
 
Chris smiles back because it’s Adrian. “I’m game as long as you don’t cum all over my face like last time. I wanna taste it.” He says ready to get on his knees for Adrian.

Chapter Text

Chris grins at Adebayo as she walks over to their regular booth in the back of Fennel Fields near the pool table. She was looking nice, in casual jeans and a puffy purple jacket. He’d already ordered her favourite, a large plate of mozzarella sticks and a soda because it was only lunchtime.

He couldn’t wait to catch her up with all the wedding news. Hell she didn’t even know he was getting married yet.

She looks at him confused as she unzips her jacket. “You get some pussy dude?” she asks sliding into the seat across from him. “You look happier. You’re actually smiling for once.”

Chris smiles bashfully at her. It feels odd sharing good news.

“I am happy. I’m getting married.” He says flashing her his new ring. It wasn’t technically new or an engagement ring. Adrian had given him a signet ring that had belonged to Adrian’s great grandfather. It was a fat black stone set in gold. Chris couldn’t remember the name of the stone but it was the nicest thing he had ever received. It looked good on him too like he was meant to wear it.

“You’re what?” Adebayo asks dropping a mozzarella stick in surprise.

“I’m getting married.” He repeats, smiling as he passes her a napkin.

She stares at him as the words slowly sink in. “You. Married?! Is the world ending?” She asks like that’s the only way it makes sense.

Annoyed Chris steals a mozzarella stick from her plate. “I told you I like traditional things.” He says biting into the gooey cheese and burning his tongue.

Adebayo sighs. “I do recall you saying that. But you’re a total fuckboy. How pregnant is she?”

Chris chokes on his beer.

He coughs and splutters as his drink goes down the wrong way.

She gets up from her seat, leans over and pats him roughly on the back. “You knocked someone up right? Why else would you be getting married?”

Chris shakes his head insulted by the implication. “It’s not like that. No one’s pregnant. My dad left me all his stuff in his will but I need to be married to inherit.” He explains.

Understanding blooms on Adebayo’s face. “I see. So it’s a sham wedding.”

In the corner his father nods agreeing with her. “You might as well put a pig in a wedding dress and marry that instead of the freak.” Auggie says cruelly.

“It’s not a sham.” Chris protests. Calling it a sham makes it sound fake and hallow. But the feelings inside his chest are real and deep. He wouldn’t have just spent a whole morning going over wedding invites and table decorations with Adrian’s mother if it were just pretend.

Maybe he should have started by telling her about him and Adrian. It hadn’t exactly been a secret. Vigilante liked his privacy and the team had specifically told him not to tell them about his love life after the incident with the butterfly chick.

He was starting to regret inviting her out to lunch. Adrian had suggested they just post their engagement photos on the group chat. But Chris had wanted to tell them each in person. Because they were friends.

He leans forward in his seat and rubs his forehead. “Do you want to be my best man-person or not?”

Adebayo smiles. “Me? Your best man?” She grins at him for a moment, then her smile fades. “Chris I’m flattered but don’t you think Adrian will kill me if he hears about this? Sham wedding or not?” She glanced over her shoulder to where Adrian was busy wiping down a table.

Adrian waves at the both them and smiles brightly at Chris. He’s wearing his hat backwards and it makes Chris want to go over and kiss Adrian again even though Adrian’s boss had already threatened to fire him for what they’d been caught doing earlier in the walk in freezer.

“Oh hell no!” Adebayo yells following his gaze.

“You're going to ask Adrian to marry you?” She says putting the pieces together in the wrong order. “That's a terrible idea. You can’t be serious?” She asks lowering her voice as if afraid Adrian is going to overhear.

The smile falls from Chris’ face at her words. Their conversation wasn’t going the way he thought it would. He assumed she’d be happy for them.

“Why not?” He asks, looking at the ring already sitting on his finger.

“Chris are you really that desperate for those Nazi heirlooms?” She asks looking at him with sad disappointed eyes. “I used to think your dad was holding you back but even now he’s dead you can’t let the past go can you?”

“What the fuck? I’m not holding onto the past.” He says pointedly avoiding the ghost standing in the corner of his vision. “If I wanted to appease my dead dad I wouldn’t do that by marrying a guy.”

Adebayo reaches for his hand but he pulls away from her touch.

“I don’t regret killing him. That’s not why I’m getting married. I’m getting married because I want to. It’s a good fucking idea.” He says slamming his spoon down onto the table harder than strictly necessary.

A line appears on Adebayo’s forehead above her eyebrows. She shakes her head at him and frowns. “It’s a terrible idea. This is real life Chris. It isn’t a movie like Chuck and Larry. You can’t just get married to Adrian because it’s convenient and everyone else turned you down.”

Chris doesn’t get the film reference but her words cut his tender heart deeply. He stares down at his soup which is suddenly not so appealing anymore.

“He was my first choice.” He tells her wishing he was better at talking about these things.

“That doesn’t make it any better! He’d do anything you asked. Look. I love Adrian but he's a psychopath. You know he’s obsessed with you right?”

“I’m not actually a psychopath.” Adrian says, interrupting softly, a jug of water in his hands as he stands next to their table.

He’d silently snuck up on them while they were busy talking.

“I just wanted to impress you guys. I wanted to be on the team. No one ever wants the weird autistic kid on their team.” He says carefully pouring more water into her empty glass.

Adebayo reaches for his arm. “Adrian.” She starts.

“I’m going to take my break.” Adrian says ignoring her. He puts the water jug down on the table and heads outside.

Chris watches him go, already knowing he’s going to chase after him in a minute.

Hurt on Adrian’s behalf, he turns back to face Adebayo. “If you were a dude I’d fucking beat you up right now.” He tells her, raising his middle finger up at her. “I know I was an asshole when we first met but I thought you’d understand. You have a wife.” He tells her his jaw tight, his bottled feelings burning him up on the inside.

Adebayo knocks his finger out of her face with her hand. “That’s different. Keeya and I, we got married because we love each other. You’re just getting married for the money.”

“You don’t know my heart.” Chris says getting up. “Even if I was marrying for the money, you’re meant to be my fucking friend. You’re meant to be happy for me. Not insult my fiancé.” Chris yells slamming his fist onto the table.

“I know I overstepped but Chris be serious.”

“I am being serious.” He shouts, aware everyone in the restaurant is staring. He doesn’t care. “Maybe you can’t imagine someone being in love with me. Proposing to me. But he did and we’re getting married next Wednesday.” He says pulling her wedding invitation out of his jacket pocket and throwing it onto the table. “Psychopath or not.”

*

He finds Adrian sitting outside near the bins on an upside-down crate. He has his back to the door Chris just stormed out of. He looks small and sad hunched over in the cold without a jacket.

The sight of him makes his heart ache. Chris wants to smother him in his arms, wrap him up in a blanket, cover him in kisses and take him home.

“If you want to give me the ring back I understand.” Adrian says as he approaches. There’s a sad resignation in his voice, like he’s been waiting for everything to fall apart.

It catches Chris off guard and makes him pause.

He has no intention of calling off the awesome wedding they’ve spent the last few days planning.

“I think it’s too late for my mom to get her deposits back though. She just booked the photographer and the band.” Adrian continues, staring at his phone at a photograph of the two of them on the night they got engaged.

Chris puts a hand on Adrian’s shoulder. His thumb finds Adrian’s collar bone and digs into the soft skin just above.

“I don’t care that you’re different.” He says wishing he knew the right thing to say. Wishing he had some magic words that could fix this.

“You don’t?” Adrian replies the surprise in his voice clear and sharp like a knife.

It makes his heart ache more.

“I don’t want to give you the ring back. I want to marry you.” Chris promises. “You didn’t change your mind did you?” He asks almost certain where Adrian’s sudden doubt has come from.

Adrian turns his head and looks up at him confused. “No. But Adebayo told you not to marry me.” He says clearly hurt by Adebayo’s words. “She thinks I’m wrong for you.”

“She’s not my boss.” Chris says urging Adrian up off the crate. “Adebayo can piss off. I mean it.” He pulls Adrian into his arms and holds him tightly against his chest. “No one’s going to stop me from marrying you.” He says cupping Adrian’s cheek with his hand.

“You don’t want someone better?”

“Better than my BFF?” Chris scoffs. “Impossible.”

Chris kisses his forehead and fixes his hat. “I think you’re amazing Adrian.”

“You think I’m amazing?” Adrian asks looking up at him in wonder. He looks so delighted, Chris can’t help but kiss him again.

Chapter Text

Adrian invited you to the group:

Leota Adebayo is no longer my 5th best friend and you shouldn't speak to her either.

H: What the hell Adrian? What did you do?

                  I didn’t do anything. A

She’s the one who was a jerk. A

....

H: /Right/

H: What happened?

E: Hey why isn't Chris in this group?

Because it involves Chris and he’s sensitive. A

H: Are you saying she made him cry?

Worse. A

She insulted his furnace. A

E: His what??

H: Autocorrect?

 I meant she insulted his fiancé. A

H: Is this a prank?

You haven’t checked your email? A

You should both check your emails. A

It’ll help this conversation move faster. A

...

...

...

H: WHAT THE FUCK?

E: Is this a real wedding invitation?

                                                            Congratulations <3 is the traditional response. A

Yes it’s real. A

E: What the fuck is going on down there?

H: Chris is getting married?
H: To you??

Yes. A

Next Wednesday. A

It’s on the e-vite. A

H: Did you maybe forget to take some medications today?

                                                                                                No. But thanks for asking! :) A

H: …Does the wedding have anything to do with why you fought with Ads?

Yeah. She said it was a bad idea. A

E: It is a terrible idea.

Do I have to block you as well? A
I thought you could be Chris’ new best man. A

H: I know why you’re doing this but why is Chris?

Because he loves me. A

H: Did he say that?

Adrian is typing...

…

…

…

I don’t need him to. A

E: Can I bring a plus one?

Do you have someone in mind? A

Or is this hypothetical? A

It’s like $30 a plate. A
Can you even find a date in a week? A

E: Fuck you.

H: I don’t need a plus one.

Good. Neither of you are getting a plus one. A

It’s not in the budget. A

Chris and Adebayo have been added to the group:

Leota Adebayo is no longer my 5th best friend and you shouldn't speak to her either.

Fuck. A

Harcourt! A

Why did you do that? A

Now it’s going to be confusing. A

Adrian has changed his name to Vigilante

Adrian has changed Adebayo’s name to “That Meanie”

Harcourt has changed “That Meanie” to Leota

@Economos how do you remove admin permissions? A

E: Sorry dude. Harcourt’s the boss.

E: She stays admin.

What the hell is going on?! C

Dude I thought we were going to tell them in person C

I thought it would be easier this way. V

I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I don’t like going to hospitals. V
Besides Economos isn’t even in town anymore. He went back to prison. V

E: Just so we’re clear I went back to *work* at the prison.

*Right* V

*Sarcasm* V

E: That’s now what the * means!

Whatever C

RSPV by Friday or else C

H: Wait. This isn’t a prank?

Why would this be a prank? C

H: You asked Adrian to marry you?

No! C

Adrian proposed to me C

E: Does that make you the girl?

Fuck you! C

Dick C

H: And you said yes?

Why would he say no? V

It was cute C

It’s complicated C

                                                            It’s not complicated. V

We’re together. V

E: I suppose you could do worse?

Thank you! :D V

L: You’re congratulating them?

L: It’s a sham wedding.

Fuck you! C

Yeah fuck you Ads! V

This is why you’re out of the group. V

My mom is spending a lot on this wedding. It’s going to be amazing. V

L: As the one person in this group currently in a stable loving relationship I urge you both to rethink this.

L: Adrian are you really going to lie on a government form?

L: It’s deceitful.

??? V

Is this more of your ablest bullshit? V

H: Everyone calm the fuck down.

H: I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding.

Harcourt is video calling...

Adrian frowns as he accepts the call. If he'd wanted to video call everyone he'd have set one up in the first place.

“Right. What the hell is going on?” Harcourt yells wasting no time, her hospital bed visible in the background. She has a private hospital room, so she can be as loud as she wants. The nurses probably don’t care since she is due to be discharged any day now. “And why am I the last to know about this wedding?”

“You and Economos are the last to find out.” Adrian corrects. It’s weird seeing his own face appear on the centre screen. He adjusts the camera angle slightly, apparently holding it slightly too close gives him a double chin. “I didn’t have your email addresses till today.”

“I don’t care.” Harcourt says sounding like she does care. “Adrian why do you think Adebayo is a meanie?” She asks pinching the bridge of her nose.

Adebayo frowns into the camera, judging from the background and the shaky camera, she’s at the dog park walking her babies. “I told them not to get married.”

“Everyone knows that much.” Economos interrupts. He’s sitting alone in his damp dark basement office bored out of his mind. “We want to know why.”

“The short version of events!” Harcourt adds already beyond caring.

“Because she loves meddling.” Chris explains with a frown. He’s lying on his back, stretched out on his worn-out sofa. He hits a button, turning off his camera. Either by mistake or because he’s about to cry and doesn’t want anyone to see.

“She thinks I don’t care about Adrian. That I’m just doing it for the money.” He says choking up, overcome with emotion.

“Aren’t you?” Adebayo asks sceptically.

“Haven’t you seen Gentlemen Prefer Blondes?” Adrian asks shaking his head.

“No.”

“You should. It’s a classic.” Adrian says as a pair of big muscular arms wrap tightly around him. Chris comes back into view, looming behind Adrian, his eyes damp and full of hurt.

“Anyway that’s not why we fell out.” He says shaking his head.

“She thinks I’m mentally unstable. She told Chris it was a bad idea to marry me because of it.” Adrian explains leaning back into Chris’ embrace.

Harcourt and Economos both stare into the screen, the same shared look upon their faces.

“Shut up!” Chris huffs reading their faces.

He buries his face in the crook of Adrian’s neck and feels his eyes water. Adrian doesn’t see dead people or talk to ghosts. If anyone is irreparably messed up in the head it’s him. 

“Well no wonder they’re mad at you Adebayo. If I had a boyfriend and you told me those things I’d be pissed at you too.” Economos says typing away at his keyboard as he talked.

Harcourt nods in agreement. “I thought you’d be more supportive. I thought you were the sensitive one in the group.”

“But they’re faking! It’s not a real relationship.” Adebayo protests.

“They’re literally cuddling on Peacemaker’s couch right now!” Economos points out rubbing his forehead.

“But- they’re not gay!”

“Are you saying bi guys can’t get married? That’s bisexual erasure!” Adrian shouts momentarily forgetting his inside voice.

“You’re both bi?” Adebayo queries.

“You didn’t know?” Harcourt says surprised.

“Don’t you have like built in gaydar or something?” Asks Economos.

“That’s not how it works.” Adebayo stops mid-step and peers down at her phone. “Wait. So you two are really sleeping together?”

“Not just sleeping!” Adrian says breaking into a grin almost as wide as the Joker’s. “We’re officially engaged.” He says lifting up Chris’ meaty hand and showing off his ring. “Chris told you back at the restaurant remember?”

Adebayo’s face falls. “Shit.” She swears realisation dawning. “That was real? I ruined your big moment.”

Chris flips her off and presses a kiss to Adrian’s cheek. It’s quite a wet kiss as far as kisses go but Adrian doesn’t mind.

“Eww.” Economos groans. “We all saw that. How much longer is this meeting gonna be?” He asks. “I want to be done before they start taking off clothes.”

“Not much longer. I’m due my next physio session shortly.” Harcourt says checking the time. “I think we’ve all made it clear this is a terrible idea. But they’re doing it anyway.”

Adrian nods. “Does this mean you’re not coming to the wedding? We need to know for the catering purposes.”

“Oh, no we’re all coming.” Harcourt assures him.

“Okay well I’ll send you the link to our wedding registry. You can ignore anything from Macy’s. That’s the houseware stuff my mom wants us to get. If she asks all the weapons are for Chris.”

“Why would your mom ask? And why do you care?” Harcourt wonders aloud shaking her head.

“Oh she doesn’t know I’m Vigilante.” Adrian clarifies. “None of my family do.”

Chapter Text

Chris tries not to stare at Adrian as he hums along to the car radio. Adrian says his stare makes it hard for him to concentrate on the road as he drives. But it’s hard not to when Adrian looks so good. 
In just under a week they’ll be married. 

The thought would probably terrify most.

But to Chris, counting down the days until his wedding day feels like waiting for December first, the day all the local radio stations start playing Christmas music.  
Only better.

Adrian is good for him. More importantly good to him. 

Chris wants to be good to Adrian too.

“Are you even listening to me Chris?” Harcourt asks punching him in the shoulder. She hits hard for someone just released from hospital. 

She’s sitting in the passenger seat behind him because Chris had successfully argued that being engaged to Adrian gave him perpetual shotgun privileges. It was romantic bullshit but Adrian had eaten it up with a spoon.

Chris rubs his shoulder and shakes his head. “What did you say?” He asks his eyes still on Adrian.

Harcourt rolls her eyes and looks out the window. “I asked, where are you taking me? My new apartment’s in the other direction.”

“We’re going suit shopping for the wedding.” Adrian tells her, briefly turning his head away from the road. “The rental suit place didn’t have anything available in Chris’ size so we’re driving to Big and Large. I know a guy who knows a guy who can get us a discount.” He says matter-of-factly. 

Harcourt frowns. “When did I agree to come shopping with you?” She asks shifting forward in her seat so her knees dig into the seat in front and Chris’ back.

“You said you’d love to help with the wedding anyway you could.” Adrian replies quoting her text but without the sarcasm. “We’re on a tight deadline.”

“Fuck. I did say that.” Harcourt relents hitting the back of Chris’ seat with her fist. She could probably use some sort of outlet for all her frustration. Maybe visit a gun range.

She looks over at Adrian and her face softens. “Are you sure you even want me at the wedding? Chris has a thing for me after all.”

Adrian looks confused. “You are hot. And Chris hits on lots of people. Besides it’s not like Chris even slept with you.” Adrian counters. “Chris told me nothing happened between you. He’d ask you if you wanted to hang and you’d blow him off in a bad way. Every time you said no he’d call me up and we’d have fun instead.” 

Harcourt looks at Chris surprised. “Is that why you stopped calling?” If she was anyone else Chris might think she was disappointed.

“Adrian’s on my phone plan, I get free calls to his number.” Chris explains with a shrug. “You missed your chance Harcourt.” He adds looking out the window.

She rolls her eyes. “Somehow I think I’ll live.” She says sounding more like her regular self.

Wordlessly he puts his hand on Adrian’s thigh and leaves it there because he likes touching Adrian.

Adrian’s cheeks flush just a little at the touch.

“Soooo anyway I figured you could get your wedding outfit too. They have a prom store right next door.” Adrian adds making a hard left turn.

Harcourt’s temporary wheelchair in the trunk topples over with a horrid clang. Chris hopes it is sturdier than it looks.

“There’s a suit store around here?” Harcourt asks sceptically looking out at the passing houses each with neatly mowed lawns. 

Adrian laughs. “Of course not.” He says looking at Chris like Harcourt is crazy.

“Then why are we stopping?” Harcourt asks.

Chris wants to know as well but he can’t admit that to Adrian. 

He’s almost certain Adrian had told him early this morning when he was half asleep. Chris had found it difficult to concentrate on anything but Adrian, warm and heavy lying in his bed curled up in his arms.

He was sleeping better with Adrian beside and occasionally on top of him.

“We’re picking up the best man.” Adrian explains pulling onto a drive way and turning off the engine. 

“I didn’t know you’d made up with Adebayo.” Harcourt says as she punches Chris in the arm again. Her punch is lighter this time but not by much.

“Fuck.” Chris swears rubbing at his arm. It’s his bad arm to boot. Not that he’s going to tell Harcourt. “I haven’t. I’m still waiting for her apology.” He tells her feeling like a snitch talking to the school principle.

“You’re still mad then?” Harcourt asks, sounding surprised like what Adebayo said wasn’t a big deal. Like their feelings don’t matter.

“Do you want to find your own way home?” He asks turning around in his seat to glare at her. 

Harcourt shakes her head. “Sorry. Poor choice of words. You’re going with Economos then? Your back up?” She asks stuffing her hands into a black hoodie. She’s dressing more for comfort than style these days but still looks hot. Not as hot as Adrian. But still. 

Chris shrugs. “Maybe.” He hasn’t really thought about it. “I guess he could carry Eagly down the aisle.” He says leaning over and pressing the horn impatiently. 

“You want him to hold a wild animal?” Harcourt asks. Judging from her tone she thinks it’s a terrible idea.

“He’d wear a glove. Economos I mean.” Adrian explains helpfully. “My aunt had her pet dogs at her wedding instead of proper flower girls. They shit all over, it was such a mess. But Eagly’s a good boy. I’m almost certain he wouldn’t shit on Economos.” 

Chris tries not to laugh at the thought of Economos covered in bird shit. Economos had been surprisingly supportive regarding the wedding. More so than Harcourt and Adebayo. Which was weird because he thought chicks always loved weddings. 

“Come on! Hurry up!” Chris yells opening up his door to yell at the house. 

“We’re picking up Adrian’s best man.” He explains to Harcourt as he closes the car door. He’s pieced together that much at least.

“Adrian has a best man?” Harcourt asks peering out the window, her curiosity piqued. 

“Of course.” Adrian says taking Chris’ hand. “I wanted to ask Chris but my mom said that’s against the rules.”

Chris entwines their fingers, wishing he could be as straightforward and sincere as Adrian.

“You’d ask me right? If you could.” Adrian asks staring at him with those eyes. 

Chris hesitates, but only because Harcourt is sitting in the back watching them. Listening. Having an audience is weird when they’re all fully clothed and talking about feelings. 

The words he wants to say sit on his tongue. But Adrian is patient. Adrian knows this is difficult for him.

He squeeze’s Adrian’s hand.

“Of course babe.” Chris mumbles, wishing he could just show Adrian his heart without the need for words and explanations.

Adrian beams at his words and leans in close for a kiss.

Chris doesn’t even think about it. Taking has always been easier than talking. He grabs Adrian’s shirt collar and closes the gap between them. Closes his eyes and kisses Adrian again and again. Their lips crashing against each other like storm waves as he drowns in Adrian’s arms.  

“Hey, hey! That’s enough of the show!” Says a stranger rapping suddenly on the side window.

Chris opens his eyes to see Gut standing on the driveway staring at them. 

Pink cheeked and breathless, Adrian waves happily at his brother who reluctantly waves back. 

“Are they always gross and mushy like that?” Gut asks Harcourt with a grumble as he gets into the back of Adrian’s car. The car creaks as he gets in beside her and closes the door. 

Harcourt nods tiredly. “I guess.”

“Harcourt, meet Gut.” Chris introducing them with a hand wave and wishing he was anywhere else.

“Call me Dorian please. I’m not twelve anymore.” Gut asks straightening his battered brown bomber jacket. He pulls a bag of liquorice sweets from his pocket and offers some to Harcourt. Gut’s always been an old man in a young man’s body. Ever since his dad left anyway and he’d become the man of the house, the responsible one.

Harcourt eyes widen just a little. “You’re Adrian’s brother?” She says turning to get a better look at him.

It’s been more than a couple of years since Chris last saw Adrian’s brother but Gut looks much the same as he always has. Heavyset but tall with messy dark hair that fluffs up around his ears.

Gut nods and holds out his hand. “Unfortunately. Are you Vigilante?”

“Bro you can’t just ask people to reveal their secret superhero identities!” Adrian yells glancing in the mirror as he starts the car and pulls off the driveway.

“Right. Sorry.” Gut apologises biting into the black candy. “I’m sure you look great in spandex.” He tells Harcourt looking her up and down. 

Harcourt responds by flipping him off. 

Gut isn’t put off, most of the chicks in town play hard to get at first. He’s always been a ladies man chasing after women far hotter than himself. Chris remembers back in high school Gut had successfully seduced the head cheerleader away from her meathead boyfriend with a few badly written love songs.

Gut nods and gives Harcourt a wink. “So are you single?”

Harcourt gives him the stink eye and folds her arms. “Aren’t you married?” 

“My wife’s cool. Don’t tell anyone but she has a secret crush on Vigilante. He’s on her list.” He tells her, all but suggesting a threesome with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Unimpressed Harcourt sticks her finger down her throat and pretends to vomit.

“Marsha has a crush on Vigilante?” Adrian asks, surprised by this new information judging by his ridiculously high voice. He pulls a face at the thought of his sister in law having a crush on his alter ego. “What list is Vigilante on?” He adds clueless.

Chris hasn’t met Gut’s wife but he’s fairly certain he’s never leaving her alone with Vigilante. He’s also certain they won’t be making any lists.

Ignoring Adrian, Harcourt rolls her eyes and turns back to Gut. “Why would you think I’m Vigilante?” She asks intrigued.

Gut shrugs and scratches his beard. “I assumed Chris would ask Vigilante to be his best man. I heard they’re besties. I wasn’t expecting Vigilante to be a hot chick though.” 

Adrian looks in the car mirror at his brother. He doesn’t say anything but Chris can tell he’s torn between maintaining his secret identity and agreeing with Gut about how Chris and (the real) Vigilante are the best of friends. 

“Dude don’t make this weird.” Chris sighs, sinking down into his seat, suddenly wishing he and Adrian had eloped. “She’s not Vigilante! Vigilante’s a guy.”

“Yeah!” Adrian agrees, then remembers he isn’t meant to know Vigilante personally. “If Chris says she’s not Vigilante then she’s not Vigilante!”

“Besides Vigilante doesn’t do weddings.” Chris lies, aware that Adrian can’t be in two places at once no matter how much he wants to. 

If Adrian were a cartoon character a lightbulb would have suddenly appeared over his head. As it was Chris just had to picture it as Adrian’s smile grew. “Bro Harcourt can't be Vigilante. She's in a wheelchair.” He says pleased that he wasn’t lying to his brother.

Harcourt misreads something his smile and punches Adrian suddenly in the arm.

“Ow! Stop hitting people. It’s rude and I’m driving.” Adrian whines. “If I wasn’t at a stoplight you could have killed us all.” 

“Wheelchair or not. You’re still hot.” Gut tells Harcourt sounding as smooth as a garden slug. Was he just as slimy when he hit on chicks?

Gut leans forward in his seat. “Chris if you know hot chicks like Harcourt why the hell are you marrying Adrian?” He asks whispering in Chris’ ear loud enough for everyone else in the car to hear.

“Why do you think? Plus Harcourt’s my boss you asshole!” Chris yells annoyed.

Chris hadn’t even thought of asking Harcourt to marry him. Yes he’d hit on her before but she’d rejected his advances. They were team mates and sort of friends but he didn’t really know much about Harcourt. He didn’t know her the way he knows Adrian.

Chris doesn’t even need to look at Adrian to tell he’s hurt by his big brother’s words. 

He doesn’t like Adrian hurting. Chris grabs Gut by the collar, which is easy because Gut isn’t wearing his seatbelt.

“Chris thinks I’m amazing.” Adrian says before Chris can scream something abusive right into Gut’s face. “He said our wedding would be special ‘cause he’s marrying me.” He says quietly repeating everything sweet Chris had told him. It makes Chris wish he’s told Adrian more.

Gut laughs. “You really told him that?” He asks looking surprised.

“Yeah.” He replies, tightening his grip around Gut’s throat. “Adrian’s my BFF.”

It’s not what Chris wants to say. His whole best friend hierarchy system is currently a mess. But he doesn’t want to say the things he wants to say for the first time in a car with Gut and Harcourt listening.

“Are you going to hit my brother?” Adrian asks looking at Chris instead of the road.

Chris looks at Gut then looks back at Adrian. He’s fairly certain Adrian only asked his brother to be his best man because his mother told Adrian to ask him. 

Harcourt sighs behind him. “Are you really going to fight with everyone who thinks this wedding is a bad idea? That’s a lot of people.” She says sounding like an annoying voice of reason.

“Says the person who has been hitting everyone today.” Adrian mutters quietly to himself, his eyes on the road. 

“What was that?” Harcourt asks turning her glare on Adrian.

“I said did you forget to take some medications today?” Adrian asks turning into the strip mall with the Big and Large. Chris had explained it was an insult when she’d asked Adrian before.  

“Fuck you!” Harcourt yells back pissed off.

“Chris will later!” Adrian yells back suddenly turning off the car engine because they’ve arrived. He turns around to scowl at Harcourt.

“Uh. Chris I think my brother’s about to pass out.” He says as Gut’s face was starting to turn red from a lack of oxygen.

“Fuck.” Chris immediately lets go of Gut’s throat. He’d been distracted by Adrian and Harcourt’s argument and forgotten about Gut. “Sorry.” He apologises because Gut is an ass but he’s also practically family now.

Gut grins weakly. “Hey Chris thanks for not killing me.” He says patting Chris on the arm. “If Vigilante’s not your best man who is?” He asks sitting back down.

“Chris hasn’t chosen a best person yet.” Adrian explains. “But he has a best eagle! I’m not sure how we’ll get the bowtie on Eagly though.” 

“An eagle? Who the hell am I supposed to plan the bachelor party with then? It’s on Friday!” Gut says throwing up his hands in annoyance. 

Adrian shrugs and opens his car door. “I guess you’re doing it by yourself?” 

Chapter Text

Big and Large looks just like it does in the local tv commercials. Bright florescent lights, floor to ceiling wood panelling and extra-large suits in various shades of navy, black and grey everywhere.

Chris feels immediately underdressed and out of place in his jeans and eagle t-shirt. But he can’t bolt not after all that shit in the car earlier with Gut and Harcourt. He wants them both to see that this wedding isn’t a waste of time and money.

He stares at the suit on a large headless mannequin and wonders if he could look that good in his wedding photos.  

Distracted, he stumbles into a tie rack knocking the display over.

“Fuck.” He swears, embarrassed. He looks up expecting everyone’s eyes upon him. But it’s just him and Gut in this part of the store.

He relaxes relieved Adrian and Harcourt weren’t there to laugh at him. They were next door getting coffee and donuts.

“Dude are you nervous?” Gut asks as he kneels down to help him pick the ties up and put them back on the display. “You don’t need to be nervous. It’s just a suit. Hell Adrian probably wouldn’t care if you wore your super suit.” He says sounding less of an ass than he had done in the car.

Gut’s right, except Adrian would hate not being able to wear his Vigilante suit as well. Not that he can tell Gut that given his wife’s apparent crush on Vigilante.

Chris shakes his head. “The red clashes with the wedding colours.” He says, immediately realising how gay that sounds to his own ears.

Gut opens his mouth and shuts it again. “Right. Course.” He nods rubbing his beard.

Chris feels so awkward alone with Gut. He and Gut used to be close friends, brothers almost, before drifting apart when Gut grew up and went off to law school.

“I should have told you about Adrian.” The words fall out of Chris’ mouth without warning even himself. “I’m sorry.” He adds picking up the display case and righting it with the ease that comes from years of working out.

His apology sound weak and flimsy to his own ears.

He knows he’s already burned the mouldering remnants of their friendship by not reaching out to Gut and telling him directly like a man. Instead letting Adrian or worse Adrian’s mom tell him about the wedding.

Gut nods and passes him a handful of ties then bends down to pick up more.

“Yeah you should’ve.” Gut replies with a sigh, his back to Chris. “I get why you didn’t though. You’re like the last person I’d have thought would be dating my little brother. I’m sorry for what I said before in the car. I wanted to see how you’d react.” Gut admits with a shrug.

“That was a test?” Chris asks, feeling his stomach sink. He always sucked at tests. He’s only graduated from high school with the rest of his classmates because the teachers were too afraid to tell his father he’d failed in case he blew up the school.

Gut nods firmly. “Of course. Can’t have my baby bro marrying a jerk.” He says turning so Chris can see the serious look in his eyes.

Chris has been a jerk, an asshole and a bully most of his life. Of course Gut knows he isn’t good enough for Adrian. Even without his father in his head, haunting him, violence was in his blood.

Chris had proved as much back in the car, lashing out as he always had. No matter how much he tried to change, to improve, his hands were stained.

He can still see the red marks lingering around Gut’s neck from where he’d been choked. He wonders if he should apologise again. If it would help at all.

Gut catches the frown on his face.

“Relax.” He says poking Chris sharply in the forehead. “You’re doing that thing where you overthink everything. No wonder you have so many worry lines.” He says as Chris recoils in shock.

“Look. I’m not going to pretend this isn’t weird.” Gut admits sitting up on his heels. “Because it is a little weird. You and him.” He puts his hands up. “I’m not judging, I just don’t really get how this happened. When we were kids you’d always complain whenever he tagged along with us.”

“I did. But I was jealous.” Chris admits thinking of Keith as he rearranges the ties by colour. “Your brother is awesome. Always has been.”

“Patient too I hear.” Gut says getting up and dusting himself down with a smile. “My mom said apparently you’ve been seeing each other for a while.”

“Yeah.” Chris admits, eyes fixed upon the now fixed tie stand. “We were just friends for a long time.” He clarifies least Gut think him some sort of pervert. “Hunting buddies.” It’s close enough to the truth of him and Vigilante. He shakes his head. “All this shit with my dad and the alien butterflies recently made me think about what’s important. Adrian’s important.”

Gut smiles and elbows him in the side. “Mom was right, you’ve changed.”

“Yeah?” Chris asks feeling the tightness in his chest dissipate just a little.

“Yeah. You’re way better than the macho idiot I used to know. You’ve changed Adrian too you know.”

“Can I help you gentlemen?” Interrupts an older salesman in a suit, before Chris can find out exactly how he’s changed Adrian.

“I’m uh getting married and I need a suit.” Chris explains letting go of the tie stand. The more he talks about it the less weird being engaged sounds.

The salesman smiles brightly at his words. Chris squints at his name badge, Tony.

“Congratulations! Do you know your suit size?” Tony asks getting straight to business.

Chris shakes his head. The last time he’d worn a suit was at his trial. And if that suit still fit he wouldn’t be here looking for another.

This isn’t his first time suit shopping though. Chris and Adrian had gone with Adrian’s mom to get rental suits the other day. They’d spent the afternoon in and out of changing rooms trying on different suits.

Adrian had looked good in them all.

Chris had felt fat like Titano, only less hairy as he struggled to fit into any of the rentals available.

At least the ghost of his father hasn’t been bothering him as much lately.

He’s not a psychologist but he thinks maybe it’s because he’s been sleeping better. Eating better. Drinking less. Small changes. But all because of Adrian.

Tony nods. “Well we can work out your suit size and start from there. Do you know your wedding colours?” He asks pulling out a tape measure.

“White and teal.” Chris replies just as Adrian and Harcourt wander over.

Wander is maybe strong since Adrian is pushing Harcourt in her wheelchair apparently ignoring her loud protests that she doesn’t need help, a tray of takeaway coffees balanced uneasily upon her lap.

He catches the tail end of their conversation.

“…Well is Adebayo going to do workplace sensitivity training?” Adrian asks. “I had to watch a video at Fennel Fields. And I didn’t even do anything bad!” 

“Is this the beautiful bride?” Asks Tony interrupting their conversation, smiling down at Harcourt.

Adrian shakes his head. “Harcourt is just the flower girl. I’m the one marrying Chris!” He says bouncing a little on his feet.

Its times like this that Chris sees Adrian is really excited about their wedding. Which makes him feel better about everything.

Harcourt twists in her chair and glares up at Adrian. “Flower girl? I thought I was a bridesmaid.”

“There isn’t a bride.” Adrian reminds her. “So you can’t be a bridesmaid.” He says folding his arms, ending the argument.

Tony looks at Chris and back at Adrian. “I see. Of course.” He says calmly. It doesn’t seem a big deal to him, like maybe he’s had two grooms shop here before. “Were you looking to get something matching?” He asks looking at Adrian with a slight frown. “I’m afraid we don’t carry smaller sizes.”

“Oh I have my suit already.” Adrian reassures him. “It’s a dove grey.” He adds pulling his phone out to show him. “We’re having a rustic winter wedding.”

“Wonderful.” Tony looks Chris over with an expert eye and smiles a salesman’s smile. “How would you feel about Navy blue? It would be a nice contrast to your fiancé’s suit. I have one in your size, and it’s on sale.”

Chris shrugs and looks over to Adrian who grins back at him.

Chapter Text

Thirty minutes later and Chris is still in the changing room struggling with his tie. His clothes are in a pile in the corner. He can’t remember if the snake goes under or over. And was the tail meant to be long or short? He’d look it up on his phone but he’d used up most of his data for this month playing games with Adrian.

“Are you ready yet?” Adrian asks impatiently from the other side of the flimsy velvet curtain. 

“No.” Chris confesses staring at himself in the extra-large mirror. 

Unlike most of the guys in this store, he’s not some fatso with an eating disorder. His body’s practically pure muscle. He looks good for his age, that’s undeniable. He works out and is careful with his diet down to the last calorie.

As much as he dislikes suits on principle, this one fits him well. He’s not an expert but the cut emphasis the parts of him he likes, like his broad shoulders. While the waistcoat hugs his waist just right. Overall showing off the definition he’s worked hard to achieve without being too tight. 

He looks decent. Better than decent. It’s like looking at a handsome stranger. Someone with his life together instead of a bomb in his brain.

It makes him think of what he could have been. 

He stares in the mirror trying not to have a breakdown over a suit.
 
“Babe do you need a hand?” Adrian asks unable to leave him alone.

“I’m fine!” Chris replies trying not to snap unfairly at Adrian as he throws the tie onto the floor.

“You don’t sound fine. Do you not like the suit? There are plenty more.” Adrian says trying to be helpful. “You don’t have to have that one just ‘cause it’s on sale.” 

“It’s-” Chris hesitates, unable to find the words to explain how he feels. He runs his hands through hair. 

He can hear Adrian breathing. Waiting. 

He bites at his lip.

He remembers what Gut had said to him earlier. Adrian wants to marry him. Not the guy in the suit. Him. The asshole with the bomb in his head.

Adrian drives him crazy. Adrian thinks pizza bagels are a breakfast food. But he doesn't want to wake up beside anyone else.

Chris stares at the black ring on his hand. The black stone looks good against the navy. The gold band is warm, warmed by his body heat. It’s a solid reminder of the promise he and Adrian have already made and the promises they’re about to make to each other.

The ring represents a future he’s never even dared imagine. He smiles at the thought and thinks of the two plain gold bands currently sitting in his sock drawer.

He looks at the figure in the mirror again. This time the blue of his suit reminds him of that poem from the wedding magazines… Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. The odd combination of items ensures a happy marriage or good luck. Something like that anyway.

The suit is both blue and new and his ring from Adrian is old. All that’s left is something borrowed. Borrowed is harder especially since Adrian will throw a fit if he steals something. But he can probably borrow one of Adrian’s knives. 

Except that means explaining to Adrian why he wants to borrow one of his knives.

Despite what he’s said to Adrian's family and the rest of the gang he isn't fully sure if he and Adrian are together, together. Or if it's just pretend for the house.

He's afraid to ask. Because he wants it all to be real.

“Are you chickening out?” His father asks like he wasn’t the one who messed Chris up and made him unable to talk about his feelings. Unable to have relationships. 

His father’s ghost is a faint shadow compared to the version that haunted him in the woods. Chris ignores him and he leaves.

He cares for Adrian. Loves him more than he can admit. He pulls out his phone and sends Adrian a merman emoji, hoping he’ll understand.

He closes his eyes and listens for the sound of Adrian’s text alert. He listens as Adrian takes his phone out and reads the message. 

“Oh.” Adrian says softly.

Chris opens his eyes uncertain if that was a good or bad oh.

“Honey I’m coming in.” Adrian says, gently warning him. 

Chris’s heart crumbles at the word honey. He picks the tie Adrian had chosen for him up off the ground before Adrian can see he’d thrown it.

Adrian pulls back the curtain just enough to slide through.

“It’s bad luck to see my outfit before the wedding.” Chris mumbles suddenly afraid Adrian won’t like what he sees. 

Adrian stumbles on a raised bit of carpet and Chris suddenly realises Adrian isn’t wearing his glasses, his eyes are closed and scrunched up tight. At Chris’ words he immediately covers his already closed eyes with both hands. 

The sight would normally make him laugh.

But today the sight makes his overflowing heart ache more. Chris helps Adrian inside and closes the curtain. Wordlessly grabs him by the shoulder and holds him close.

“It’s not.” Adrian counters shaking his head. “Besides you’ve already seen mine.”

“Then why are your eyes closed?” Chris asks leaning in close like a sunflower reaching towards the sun.

“So it’ll be more dramatic when I open them and see your outfit duh.” Adrian explains.

“Fine.” Chris sighs, defeated, hesitant. “Take a look.” He says letting go of Adrian and stepping back so Adrian can see him fully.

Adrian opens his eyes and puts his glasses back on. He grins stupidly. 

“Wow P you look gorgeous!” He says almost swooning. “You look so handsome. Like super-hot.”

Chris knows he’s sincere. No one else looks at him the way Adrian does. It makes him ache.

“Dude I got your text. What’s wrong?” Adrian asks closing the gap between them and grabbing his face. Adrian brushes his cheeks and Chris suddenly realises he’s crying.

Chris shakes his head unable to speak. The mermaid emoji really was useless. Adrian had mistaken it as a call for help, instead of a love confession. Despite his best efforts, somehow his feelings were still getting lost in translation.

Adrian smiles up at him. “It’s okay. You can tell me anything.”

Chris sighs and wraps his arms around Adrian. Takes a minute to let his heart settle.

“It’s just a lot.” He confesses.

“The wedding stuff?” Adrian asks confused. “You don’t have to wear a suit. I can talk to my mom…”

“Being happy like this.” He clarifies kissing Adrian’s cheek. Hoping Adrian knows he is loved.

Adrian swallows. “I make you happy?” He asks like he can’t believe his ears.

Chris nods. “You make me really happy. Happier than I think I deserve.” He admits holding Adrian close and trying to remember to breathe.

“That’s stupid. That’s not how happiness works. You know that right?” Adrian asks wrapping his arms around Chris’ neck. 

Adrian laughs lightly into his ear. It’s better than any guitar solo. “It’s kinda funny cause when I was getting coffee Harcourt told me we deserve each other. You and me I mean.”

“She did?” Chris asks pressing Adrian against the wall of the changing room. He knows she probably didn’t mean it the way Adrian thinks she does, but he has better things on his mind right now. Like the taste of Adrian’s lips.

Adrian nods, banging his head against the wood wall. “Fuck.” He swears.

“Yeah.” Chris says pleased they’re on the same page when it comes to the physical.

Adrian grins and leans into him aligning their hips just so. “Do you remember we talked about new nicknames?”

Chris nods remembering the conversation and how they’d been pressed up together in a similar fashion. 

“You took too long deciding.” Adrian says kissing him in between words. “So I’ve decided I’m going to call you what I want. I want to call you sweetheart. Or baby.” Adrian says suddenly flipping them so that Chris is pressed up against the wood. 

“Is that okay?” He asks, suddenly drawing back, his lips a breath away from Chris’s throat.

“Yeah.” Chris agrees, aware he would probably let Adrian call him whatever he wanted. 

Adrian pins his arms against his sides, careful not to press too much on the bad shoulder. He knows Adrian is surprisingly strong. It’s such a turn on. 

Chris leans back against the wood and bares his neck, surrendering to Adrian’s touch. He’s rewarded with hot lips brushing against the sensitive scar on his throat. 

“Fuck.” He moans gripping Adrian’s waist.

“Hey!” Gut yells suddenly making his presence known. “Chris! Please do not have sex in the changing room with my baby brother! We can hear you both out here.” 

“Bro!” Adrian complains, pulling open the dressing room curtain without warning. “I was about to get lucky! Don’t cock block me!” He yells glaring at Gut, annoyed by the interruption but unashamed.

Chris turns his head and follow’s Adrian’s gaze. He frowns at the unexpected sight of Gut and Harcourt and Tony the salesman, all of whom were apparently waiting immediately outside the changing room, quietly listening to personal conversations like a bunch of perverts. 

Thank fuck he was dressed.

“It’s like being back in fucking prison. No privacy.” Chris swears wrapping his arms around Adrian. If he could spontaneously combust on the spot he would. 

“I’m buying the fucking suit so fuck off for ten minutes.” He adds giving them all the finger and burying his face into Adrian’s shoulder so he doesn’t have to see their faces.

Adrian pulls out a wad of cash from his back pocket and passes it wordlessly to Tony who takes it with a grateful nod and disappears towards the cash register.

Harcourt sighs. “I can’t go anywhere with you idiots. Isn’t this like illegal? She asks looking tired and uncomfortable. 

“No.” Adrian replies shaking his head. “We’re both consenting adults and fully dressed. It’s fine.” He says gently rubbing Chris’ back.

Harcourt frowns and folds her arms. “That doesn’t sound right. You were basically having sex in front of us.”

“The curtain was closed.” Adrian counters, like a flimsy piece of fabric makes a big difference. “You couldn’t see anything.” 

Gut sighs and rubs his chin. “Adrian’s correct. What they’re doing is not technically illegal. Just indecent.” He says sounding more like a lawyer than he has all afternoon.

“I know the laws ‘cause Chris and I fuck outside all the time.” Adrian says oversharing. Chris feels his face heat up and holds Adrian tighter. He doesn’t want to feel embarrassed when Adrian isn’t.

Gut sticks his fingers in his ears and shakes his head. “No. Nope. That’s way too weird. We’re not talking about that. I do not want to hear about Chris and you fucking.”

“I thought you approved of Chris.” Adrian frowns looking hurt.

“I do.” Gut promises. 

Which is a surprise to Chris.

“But that doesn’t mean I want to hear about your sex life.” Gut adds sticking his hands awkwardly in his jacket pockets.

Adrian nods. “Right. ‘Cause Chris is your friend.”

“Cause you’re my brother.” Gut corrects.

Adrian smiles. “Oh. Right. Well Chris is much better as my best friend than he was yours.” He boasts happily.

Gut laughs. “I’m sure he is little bro.” 

Harcourt rolls her eyes and pulls out her phone from her bag. “I’m calling an Uber.”

“Wait. You don’t have your dress yet.” Adrian frowns, suddenly remembering Harcourt’s existence. “I don’t want you wearing black to my wedding. It’s meant to be a party.”

“Fine. I will stay and get this flower dress. But no more excessive PDA.” She demands pointing at the two of them. She looks over at Gut. “Is there a bar near here? I need a beer.”

Chapter Text

Unsurprisingly Gut does not throw a bachelor party on the Friday.

Partly because Adrian gets called into work to cover a double but mostly because Gut is terrible at organising anything. Chris recalls a road trip that never happened the summer they turned eighteen and tells himself he’d not disappointed. 

He’s sort of over strippers anyway.

Instead Chris stays home alone and has a beer with Eagly.

He sits and sips and thinks of his upcoming wedding. He can’t help but smile. His suit is hung up next to Adrian’s in his closet. Their shoes are polished and shirts ironed. 

Everyone’s replied with their RSVP’s. Chris has lost count of the number of people coming but it’s definitely in the double digits. Most of them are Adrian’s family but even so he’s never felt so popular. 

The vendors are all booked and paid for. Pretty much everything is ready save a few last minute touches. 

Chris gives Eagly his dinner, letting the bird perch atop his tv tray. Chris picks at his own dinner a fresh mixed salad without dressing. Adrian says he should try be less strict with his diet so he adds some chilli flakes for flavour.

He should probably look for a movie on tv and relax. He looks about for the remote on the coffee table but something else catches his eye. 

It’s a pamphlet about wedding vows.

They haven’t really discussed their wedding vows yet, him and Adrian, not in the way almost every other aspect of their wedding has been fought over with Adrian’s mother. 

Probably because the wedding vows are too close to those important three words they’ve yet to say to each other. 

Chris reads the first page of the pamphlet and frowns. The traditional vows sound solemn and old fashioned. Painfully heteronormative.

Fine for a couple like Harry and Sally but not them.

He should probably ask Adrian first before deciding they’re doing their own vows. So far they’ve decided everything together. They’ve either flipped a coin, wrestled or had Adrian’s mom decide for them.

But the traditional wedding vows remind Chris of church. Remind him of the angry sermons full of hate and nonsense he grew up listening to, the ones that made him hate himself. Made him hide himself. 

Those vows remind him that the God he was brought up believing in considers loving Adrian a sin. Considers this impending marriage a sin.

He’s still figuring out exactly what kind of Christian God he believes in now but he knows it’s one of the rainbow loving ones that approve of his upcoming union. 

It takes him a while to find his old note pad and a working pen. He doesn’t bother keeping much paper around since Eagly loves ripping it up. 

Dinner forgotten, Chris sits on the couch in the living room and writes his wedding vows.

Tries to anyway.

The deep adoration he feels inside his chest for Adrian does not translate easily into words. He’d thought it would be easier putting the words he cannot say onto paper.  But it isn’t. 

The few words he manages to write wriggle about the page like large ugly worms. He tries again and again trying to make the words sound better but the pen is stiff in his clumsy hand. 

You make me lugh laugh even when I don't want to laugh. 
You take care of me even when I don't take care of myself.
You believed in me when no one else did, you were my friend when I was friendless.

His words are… okay, not great or good, just okay. They lack the fireworks, the excitement and the joy he feels with Adrian.

Frustrated he tears page from the note pad and crushes it into a paper ball. He tries again, tries to write something better. But poetry is not his area of expertise.

You are always by my side

You showed me how to love, you make me a better man.

You are my best friend… 

Chris contemplates another beer as Eagly happily plays with the balls of discarded paper, knocking them to and fro with his head and wings as the pile slowly grows.

But Adrian has ruined drinking alone. Chris keeps turning towards the empty spot on the couch. Adrian’s spot.

Chris puts the second beer back into the fridge and pours himself a glass of water instead. The water doesn’t help improve his writing or his mood. 

I love you.
I love you.
I love you!

He repeats those secret words over and over again on the paper, hoping they will spark something amazing. The perfect vows that tell Adrian everything he feels. 

Nothing amazing comes to mind.

But maybe if he repeats those three words enough he’ll be able to recite them later at the altar.

Maybe it’s the wedding stress, maybe it’s something else that triggers his father’s ghost.

He doesn’t see his father, doesn’t hear his ghost goading him or calling him names, but the familiar stink of his father’s cigarettes fills the trailer. 

His father smoked a packet a week for as long as he could remember. The smoke always made Chris sick. 

Chris can’t recall the brand name but he remembers shape of the box.

Remembers the feel of the lit cigarette pressed against his skin and the smell of burning flesh. The small circular scars may have faded from his skin but the marks remain in his mind.

When he was especially difficult his father would open a new packet and give him more than just his belt. Now he thinks about it, he usually received those special beatings after church.

All in all it’s probably a good thing he and Adrian are not getting married in a church.

His mood soured, Chris gives up on his vows, takes a shower and goes to bed.

*

He’s still awake when Adrian slides into bed besides him hours later. Wraps his arms around Chris tightly and kisses the back of his head. 

He’d assumed Adrian wouldn’t come over after work, because of the late hour, even though Adrian had spent every night since his proposal in this bed. Chris sleeps better with Adrian beside him.

Chris relaxes into Adrian’s arms, sleepy and secure. He feels safe with Adrian. More than safe, protected. The fresh scent of Adrian’s body wash and minty toothpaste, washes away the lingering memory of stale cigarettes. 

Chris had given him a key to the trailer but there didn’t seem a point in moving Adrian in properly, when they’d both be moving out again in just a couple of days.

At least Chris assumes Adrian will move into his dad’s house with him. It was yet another conversation they hadn’t had.

For now there was Adrian’s toothbrush in the bathroom. A proper expensive electric one. That meant commitment right?

Chris lies there half-awake in the dark and waits for Adrian to open his mouth. Waits for him to talk about his day.

Instead of work stories, Adrian’s hands slide under the covers. His wandering hands are warm and gentle. Adrian traces various shapes with his fingers as he finds every dip, every scar upon Chris’ skin. Adrian touches him the way lovers must touch, with reverence, devotion. He feels Chris just to feel his body, his skin, his heat. 

It’s pleasurable, intimate, in ways Chris can’t describe.

He keeps quiet and lets Adrian’s hands roam freely. Let’s Adrian think he is asleep afraid Adrian might stop his loving caresses should he know Chris is awake. 

Adrian touches him slowly, like he’s committing every caress to memory. Knowing Adrian he probably is. 

Chris’s brain doesn’t work like that. His brain is like an old VHS tape, fuzzy and blank in places. He doesn’t remember exactly how many times they’ve kissed, just as he doesn’t remember exactly how many people he’s killed. The tape can only hold so much before snapping. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. 

Chris is almost asleep when Adrian finally breaks the silence.

“I’m not saying I read those papers you left lying about the living room.” Adrian says softly, pressing a kiss to his ear and then another. 

Chris silently berates himself. If he’d realised Adrian would see and comment about his writing he’d have hidden his work. 

Not that he’d made much progress with his wedding vows. He had about three good lines give or take. 

His heart twists as he wonders which page Adrian might have read, and if he read them all. Some of his attempts were truly awful.

“I didn’t read them, because I totally can’t read your handwriting.” Adrian admits honestly, pressing something hot and hard against the curve of his ass. Even half asleep Chris realises exactly what it is. 

He and Adrian have fucked around a lot. But tonight feels different, special.

“I’m not saying you suck at writing, just writing cursive.” Adrian adds hastily, like he’s worried Chris will take it as some slight and call off the entire wedding. 

Chris has heard worse about his handwriting. Besides Adrian is honest to a fault.

“But I think I know roughly what you were saying.” Adrian says nibbling at Chris’ ear, his body pressed as close as physically possible to Chris. The thin cotton of Chris’ underwear the only barrier between their bodies. 

“Even if your handwriting looks like a spider dipped in ink crawled across the page.”  Adrian adds kissing down his sensitive neck. 

Chris stays still and bites his tongue. Opening his mouth would mean admitting he’s awake and they’re really talking. Deep in his heart Chris knows where this conversation is heading. Knows the words he has hidden and held back for too long.

Adrian has been patient. More than patient. Adrian means everything to Chris, but he isn’t sure he’s ready to say those words just yet.

Chris knows he should be the one to say it first since Adrian proposed. Knows he should say it before they get married. 

“Chris.” Adrian moans.
 
But all the blood has left his brain.

Adrian’s hands tug at Chris’ underwear sliding them slowly down his hips. Not all the way off just enough to free his erection. His hard cock rises slowly upward like the thick mast of a ship. Adrian’s hands linger on Chris’ thighs, too much and yet also not enough. 

Adrian must know he’s awake. Must know how desperately Chris wants him. His body betrays him after all.

Adrian presses his lips against his cheek again.

“Chris can I go further?” He begs, his hands sliding slowly closer to Chris’ erection. 

“Please?” He whines impatiently.

Adrian isn’t a fool. To keep up his pretence, to continue to feign sleep would be cruel to the both of them.

Chris closes his eyes. He can’t see anything in the dark anyway. He turns his head so his lips meet Adrian’s in a tender kiss.

“How did you know I was awake?” He asks as he takes Adrian’s hand in his and guides it towards his aching cock.

“You usually talk in your sleep.” Adrian notes, sliding his cock between the thick meat of Chris’ thighs, painting them with his precum as he does. This is their favourite position when they’re tired, injured or the lube has run out.

Chris has no idea if that’s true or not, if he even wants to know what he apparently mumbles while asleep.

Adrian thrusts his hips in time with his strokes, and they both stop talking for a while. 

Chris is close to orgasm already, his body already on edge from Adrian’s earlier teasing touches. Adrian’s hand slides against his own as they fist his cock together.

Chris clenches his thighs tight and grips the blankets. He focuses on Adrian and the sweet sounds he makes as they make love. 

“Olive juice.” He blurts, cumming into Adrian’s waiting hand. It’s not quite a confession but it is progress of sorts.

Adrian laughs, high and happy. 

Chris can feel Adrian’s pleased smile against his skin. He feels stupid for doubting Adrian’s feeling for him. Of course this is real. Of course Adrian is his.

Adrian pulls away just a little, to lick his hand clean.

“Olive juice you too.” Adrian replies nuzzling his cheek against Chris’ shoulder. He holds Chris tight and thrusts once, twice, three more times before spilling his cum between Chris’ thighs.

They lie there together in the darkness. Chris the needy little spoon, Adrian the affectionate big spoon.

As Adrian’s sticky release cools between his thighs, Chris suddenly recalls they usually put a towel down first when they fuck this way. Tomorrow they’ll have to change the sheets.

“Fuck.” He swears breathless.

“Fuck yeah!” Adrian replies.

Chris really should get up and get a washcloth.

But Adrian snakes his arms around his middle and tucks his head against his shoulder. 

“I think it’s awesome you wanted to write your own vows.” Adrian says voice soft, sleepy, but still determined to talk. “But if you make up your vows then I need to write some too. And I don’t think I can write them in four days. Besides I’ve already memorised the vows on the back page of the pamphlet.”

Chris frowns confused. 

“I need to memorise my vows? Shit.” He swears. He hadn’t thought about saying them aloud when he was writing them down. His current draft was like five pages of ramblings. Even if he could remember it all, he was going to have to say those vows in front of Adrian’s whole family. 

“It’s not a test. You can read from your notebook or just repeat what the wedding officiant says.” Adrian replies with a yawn, his head shifting against Chris’ shoulder into a more comfortable position.

Chris nods relaxing. It was good Adrian knew so much about weddings.

“Wait. There are different wedding vows?” He asks feeling dumb. He hadn’t read the back page of the pamphlet. He didn’t know there were options. Everyone always said the same thing on tv.

“Of course.” Adrian hums quietly into his ear. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m kinda tired.”

“Yeah, course. Good night baby.” Chris mumbles pulling the covers up over them both.

Adrian pinches his arm. “Wait. Don't sleep yet. Can you remind me I have a surprise to show you tomorrow, something the girls at work gave me?”

Chapter Text

Adrian’s surprise turns out to be a pair of handcuffs. They’re the cheap, flimsy metal kind that are easily broken out of. But then they’re not intended for use on criminals, not that Adrian approves of capturing criminals alive.

Chris isn’t entirely sure if Adrian’s co-workers think Adrian’s some sort of sugar baby because he’s marrying a slightly older local celebrity or if they think Chris will get cold feet and try to run before the wedding.

Hopefully Adrian doesn’t think he’ll try and run.

Either way Chris is open to trying new things. Especially with Adrian.

After breakfast Adrian handcuffs Chris and they stay in bed until Sunday, important conversations forgotten. Well Chris stays in bed, after all someone has to go feed Eagly and let him out.

By Monday Chris is starting to think he might not have any energy left for the honeymoon. Especially when Adrian brings out a pair of nipple clamps and an instruction manual on how to use them.

Chris hasn’t read the Geneva Convention but he’s pretty sure it’s a form of torture lying there hard and naked, hands bound in front as Adrian slowly reads through the safety instructions.

His nipples get a sudden reprieve when Adrian’s mom calls Adrian in a panic about the wedding cake.

A lot of the wedding planning is a confusing blur to him but Chris doesn’t remember tasting let alone choosing a wedding cake.

Which might be the problem.

Adrian gets dressed and disappears for a while.

He returns hours later with a box of mini donuts, disaster apparently averted.

He feeds half a dozen of them to Chris and refuses to tell Chris which flavour he chose for their cake, insisting on maintaining the surprise.

In retaliation Chris refuses to say where he’s hidden the handcuffs and nipple clamps.

*

With the last several days in mind, Chris’ dick is relieved when Economos calls Tuesday night, the night before the wedding, and invites them both out for a quiet drink.

They haven’t seem much of Economos what with him working in another state. It’s only been a few weeks since the butterfly mess but it seems like a lifetime ago.

Chris can’t help but feel pleased Economos has actually flown down for the wedding. Chris knows flying isn’t cheap. It shows he really cares, really considers them friends.

It makes him feel worse about all those dyebeard jokes.

On the Uber ride over to the bar, Chris’s mind wanders as he stares out the window.

He wished the rest of the team were as excited about the wedding as Adrian’s family were.

Namely Adebayo.

Chris hasn’t really been looking at the 11^th street group chat, since his fight with her. Which sucked since the team was the closest thing Chris had left to family.

But he knows Adrian has been posting wedding updates on there as well as all over Facebook.

She must know the wedding is tomorrow. Even if she didn’t read the invite.

She had tried reaching out a few times, apologising over text, but it was hard to forget what she had said about the wedding and Adrian. Even now her words lingered in his head.

He’d decided early on in their engagement that only he was allowed to be mean to Adrian, because he loved him. Teasing him was one of the perks of being in love with him.

As someone who also took things too far, Chris knew Adebayo had been out of line with her comments. But despite it all, Chris was close to forgiving her and letting her come to the wedding.

He was just waiting for her to reach out and apologise properly.

To Chris a proper apology wasn’t words on a screen, it was made in person.

Adrian puts his hand on his knee and Chris realises they’ve arrived.

Chris has never been to this bar before. It’s on the posh gentrified side of town, the side Chris hardly ever visits because there isn’t much crime.

Hopefully someone else is picking up the tab for the party. Chris spent the last of his money booking a lakeside cabin for their honeymoon. It’s a surprise for Adrian who thinks they’re going spend it camping in the woods behind the trailer park even though it’s February.

Maybe it’s because they were invited out by Economos who likes to sit on his arse, or maybe it’s because of Chris’ self-esteem issues. But Chris is actually surprised when they walk inside the bar to find a roomful of people he knows standing there.

He might be wrong, but it seems like most of the town, the people still alive that is, are here tonight.

They don’t yell surprise, instead they slowly turn their heads and raise their glasses in their direction and cheer. It’s terribly uncoordinated since most of them are two or three drinks in already, but also terribly heart-warming.

Chris feels his eyes water just a little. He had completely given up on having a bachelor party since his best man was currently a bird of prey. He blinks, failing to stop his tears from forming. Opening up his heart to Adrian had caused his walls to crumble. Now his other feelings were starting to show more.

He looks at Adrian who has taken the surprise party, surprisingly well.

“Vigilante got sent an evite.” Adrian quietly confesses, squeezing his hand.

Chris laughs and looks round the room. He spots Gut amongst the crowd and recognises several faces from high school over by the bar. Clearly Economos had had a little help with the guest list.

Economos slides off a stool by the door and hobbles up to them first. He’s still on crutches but otherwise looks alright considering.

“You arranged all this?” Chris asks impressed, noting the balloons and a big banner. There weren’t usually balloons or banners at bachelor parties, at least not the cheap ones Chris had been to.

Were Economos anyone else, Chris might have suspected he was planning a party, asking them to come to a certain bar at a certain time. Instead he’d assumed it was simply happy hour.

Economos shakes his head. “No, uh. It wasn’t me...” He admits pointing with his crutches.

Chris turns, feeling a hand upon his shoulder.

“Chris.” Adebayo greets. She’s wearing a pair of camo pants and a mismatching multi-coloured tie-dye top.

Chris frowns at her. He still hasn’t forgotten what she’d said. He wraps an arm around Adrian and pulls him in close.

“Don’t apologise to me.” He growls, half tempted to just storm out even though their Uber driver is already gone.

He looks around and notes that Economos has disappeared into the crowd like a coward.

Adebayo nods and looks at Adrian regret clear on her face. “Adrian, I’m sorry. I was insensitive, I was cruel. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

Adrian nods adjusting his glasses. “You were a bully.” He agrees making a loud fart noise with his hand.

Chris bites back a laugh and clutches his shoulder. “Good one babe.”

Adebayo sighs. “Are you two going to do that every time we fight?”

“Do what?” Adrian asks.

“Never mind.” Adebayo says shaking her head. “Chris was right. I should be happy for my friends. Can you ever forgive me?” She asks sounding truly remorseful.

Adrian thinks about it, carefully. “Possibly. I have a question first.” He says looking at her, his face serious.

“Is that a mechanical bull?” He asks pointing to the far corner of the bar.

As he speaks a grown man is flung off the bull and slams onto the padded floor with a groan.

Adebayo nods. “It is yeah. That’s why I booked this place.” She says a smile growing on her face. “And it looks like it’s your turn next.”

Adrian grins back at her, his excitement blatant. “Sweet! Okay! I totally forgive you!” He says bouncing before dashing off.

“Wait! Take off your glasses!” Chris yells watching Adrian disappear from his side. There was a good chance Adrian was going to hurt himself before the wedding tomorrow. Not that Chris could stop him if he tried.

Tonight Adrian only had eyes for the bull machine.

“Smart!” Adrian yells back, already halfway to the machine. He takes off his glasses and his shoes, hopping as he does one shoe and then the other. He leaves everything, including his jacket with his brother. He stops to briefly greet a few guests he knows, before running to the bull.

“That’s bribery.” Chris sighs glaring down at Adebayo, mad that she’s planned the perfect bachelor party, albeit for Adrian. 

“Then so is this.” Adebayo says handing Chris his favourite beer with a smirk.

He takes the bottle because he might as well enjoy himself. It’s his party too.

He folds his arms. “What made you change your mind?” He asks curious, turning most of his attention to Adebayo, but keeping one eye still on Adrian as he climbs up onto the padded leather injury machine.

Someone he notes, gave Adrian a cowboy hat. He looks fucking hot.

“Harcourt.” Adebayo says. “She told me about your shopping trip. How you and Adrian couldn’t keep your hands off each other.” She softens, smiling at him softly. “I heard you asked his brother for his hand. I’m sorry I said it was a fake wedding. I see now it’s not a sham.”

Chris smiles watching as the machine starts and slowly spins Adrian around. He knows the bull is only warming up but he also knows Adrian can take the challenge.

Chris sips at his beer. “It’s the real thing.” He confirms. “I can’t wait to marry him.” He tells her honestly.

“Who are you and what have you done with the Chris I know?!” Adebayo asks surprised by his honesty.

Chris shrugs.

“I guess I’m finally done with all my bullshit.” He admits taking a swig of his beer.

She smiles at him fondly. “I know I hurt you too. But I would love to be your best person if you’ll still have me.”

His chest feels warm and not from the beer. Chris looks at his feet, then glances over at Adrian who is still riding the bull.

He can forgive but he won’t forget so easily.

“The spot’s still open.” He confirms, reluctant to admit he was saving the spot for her. “You got a suit or something?” He adds looking her over.

“Several.” Adebayo says sipping her own beer.

“Good.” Chris nods. “The ceremony’s at two but we’ll be getting ready at Adrian’s place from about ten. I’ll text you the address.”

“Adrian’s place?” She asks surprised.

“His mom’s house. It’s bigger.” Chris clarifies.

“Alright.” Adebayo pulls him into a hug without warning.

“I’m glad we’re friends again man.” She says letting go.

“Me too.” Chris admits. “Hey uh, you should know.” He says running his hand through his hair. “Adrian demanded I make him my official BFF. He said he’d divorce me if anyone else gets the top spot.”

She laughs but he’s serious.

Chapter Text

Chris and Adebayo share a beer and he tells her about his secret honeymoon plans. 

She’s laughing at something he’s said when someone taps her on the shoulder.

“Hey uh Ma’am? Can we steal the groom for a minute?” A newcomer asks interrupting Chris and Adebayo’s conversation. 

Chris turns with a grin. He remembers that voice. 

“Dan! Dude!” He says turning to find not just one but three of his old high school friends standing there. They look a little older, and a little better dressed than he remembers but then it is a special occasion.

Dave hands him a fresh beer. “It’s been way too long man!” He says with a smile clinking the bottles together.

Chris nods. “You know how it is.” He shrugs. “Ads meet Dan, and the twins Freddie and Jason.” He says fist bumping each of the guys in turn.

Adebayo nods politely, no doubt weary of such a big group of white guys all wearing plaid. “Friends of yours?”

Chris nods. “Yeah. We all went to high school together. Chess club.”

Adebayo chokes on her beer mid sip. “Chess club?” She asks eyebrows raised.

“Yeah there wasn’t the funding for chess club and afterschool detention so they made us do both.” Chris explains. “We were terrible.” He laughs. 

His friends had been gross ugly boys like him who were always getting into trouble at school and at home. They’d been ragtag bunch of misfits struggling to fit in. They didn’t look like it now. Compared to Chris his friends were really successful. Dan was a doctor and the twins ran a dirt bike shop together.

“Congratulations dude!” Freddie says patting Chris on the shoulder. “I can’t believe you’re getting married. I never thought they’d let you out of prison. Your lawyer was shit.”

“Yeah congratulations! We're thrilled for you man.” Jason agrees, downing what looks like a rainbow coloured shot.

“Yeah, totally!” Freddie nods copying his brother and downing two rainbow shots. 

“Adrian is the nicest guy. Weird but nice.” Dan says and they all nod. 

“Thanks guys.” Chris says trying not to choke up.

Seeing his old friends all together made Chris feel bad for not reaching out to them sooner. The first few weeks back in town he’d been busy keeping a low profile and fighting butterflies. After, well he’d been busy playing tonsil tennis with Adrian. 

Thinking of Adrian, Chris glances over and see’s Adrian is now sitting backwards on the bull showing off to the crowd that has gathered around. Chris can’t see much given the crowd, but Adrian seems happy, which is the main thing. 
 
“He’s pretty.” His friend Dan says, following Chris’ gaze, watching him watch Adrian. Dan smiles drunkenly at him and Chris feels he means it.

“Yeah.” Chris blushes, a little embarrassed to have been caught staring so obviously at his fiancé. He hadn’t ever really discussed guys with his Evergreen friends but he knew Dan had experimented while away at university. Dan had admitted it once while high.

Dan had been his second best friend growing up. He'd lived in the trailer park too until his mom got a boob job and snagged a rich husband. Dan had moved across town to a house with a pool and his mom had stopped stripping. After that he and Chris weren’t so close. But then that was natural. 

In another life Chris might have been a successful doctor like Dan. Once he probably would have swapped lives in a heartbeat. But now he has Adrian. 

Someone hands him one of those fruity rainbow shots. Curious Chris takes it. It tastes like grenadine, fruit and vodka. He has another and then one more for luck.

“Hey aren’t you meant to keep apart the night before the wedding?” Asks Freddie. “I thought it was bad luck.”

His twin Jason hits him on the back of the head. “That rule only applies to brides. Idiot.” He says as they start to tussle with each other.

Adebayo frowns. “Is that normal?” She asks watching as one of twins pulled the other into a headlock and gave him a noogie.

“Yeah.” Chris confirms, remembering the fights they used to get into at school.

“Hey where’s Gut?” He asks realising he isn’t with the rest of their high school friends. 

As soon as he asks, Gut appears shoving his way through the crowd.

“Hey Chris, can I talk to you for a minute?” Gut asks looking worried.

Chris immediately looks over to the bull ring, his heart frozen in panic. 

To his surprise he sees the Bull standing still, without a rider. His mind races thinking of all the ways Adrian could have gotten hurt. He scans the crowd quickly looking for Adrian. 

He feels sick. 

But then he finally spots Adrian chatting to Harcourt and one of his dorky DND friends and relaxes.

“Adrian’s over there.” Chris points. “You made me worry dude.” Chris says slapping Gut lightly on the back. “Is this part of the night were you tell me you’ll kill me if I hurt him? Cause dude I’m not going to do that. I swear.” He says meaning it.

“It’s not that.” Gut says shaking his head. “But if you did I’d probably have to hire hitman.” He jokes.

“Dude, you can’t say stuff like that!” Protests Jason. “You know I’m applying to the police academy!”

Gut laughs. “Relax, you’re way too stupid to get in. Chris it’s important. About the wedding tomorrow.” He continues.

Chris waves him off. “We sorted the cake issue. Tomorrow is going to be perfect.”

“It’s not that. Can we talk in private?” Gut asks grabbing him by his jacket.

“Fine.” Chris relents letting Gut lead him outside to the car park.

Gut lets go of him. He sticks his hands in his jacket and looks at the ground. “Look.” He sighs. “I just found out. My dad isn’t coming to the wedding.”

“Rey isn’t coming? Shit. Why not?” Chris asks floored by the news. “I thought he lived nearby.” Chris didn’t remember much about Adrian’s dad but he knew he was a jerk who treated Adrian terribly. But somehow Adrian still adored him.

“He does but he doesn’t approve.” Gut says taking several steps back away from Chris and putting his hands up afraid Chris might shoot the messenger.

“Doesn’t approve?” Chris frowns. “Doesn’t approve of what?” He asks annoyed. “He’s fucking gay!” 

“He doesn’t approve of you.” Gut clarifies, his words like a kick to the balls. Unbearably painful.

“You’re kidding right? He doesn’t fucking know me!” Chris roars clenching his fists. He knows Adrian will be crushed when he hears about this.

“Is this because I didn’t ask his permission?” He yells punching himself in the leg for lack of anything better to destroy.

“Stop that!” Gut yells grabbing him, trying to calm Chris down. “Hitting yourself isn’t going to make anything better.” He chides, slapping Chris across the face knocking some sense into him.

Chris stumbles backwards. “Bro don’t hit my face!” He yells suddenly feeling the alcohol in his system. “I’m getting married tomorrow!” 

“I’m sorry.” Gut apologises even though it’s not his fault his dad’s an asshole.  “Look I can do his parts at the ceremony tomorrow. And I can give a toast at the reception.” Gut offers.

Chris knows Gut’s been more of a dad to Adrian over the years than their absentee father had been. Chris pulls Gut into a hug, keeping a hand in between their chests. 

“You’re a good brother.” Chris tells him meaning it. “Adrian’s lucky to have you.” He adds his eyes getting watery.

“He’s lucky to have you.” Gut replies, patting him on the back. 

“Can you tell Adrian?” Gut asks letting go. “I think he’d take the news best from you.” He adds.

“Fine. But give me your dad’s number.” Chris demands.

Gut frowns confused.

“I’m gonna call him.” Chris explains. 

“Dude I think you’re drunk.” Gut tells him but gives him the number anyway.

“You asshole!” Chris swears into his phone having dialled the number. “You fucking ass-wipe! The wedding is tomorrow jackass!” He yells pacing up and down his anger building.  

Chris runs his hand through his hair. “You’re Adrian’s dad.” He continues, a nice momentum building to his rant. “You and Ron said you were coming. You made a fucking commitment! You ordered the salad! Tomorrow is the most special day of his life! His wedding! You're supposed to be there for him! Because he’s your son.” He roars, his voice thick with emotion.

“I don’t care if you approve of me dad!” He yells hands shaking. He falters for a moment as he realises his slip of the tongue. “I mean. I don’t care if you approve of me Rey! Adrian chose me!” He corrects, barely pausing for breath.

“It’s Christopher calling by the way.” He adds, suddenly aware Adrian’s dad won’t recognise his number.

The voicemail cuts him off with a beep, so Chris dials the number again, not yet done with his rant.

“I’m not done yelling at you yet asshole!” He yells, ready for round two. 

“Maybe if you’d shown up to some of his Magic card tournaments Adrian wouldn’t be marrying a guy like me! Maybe if you took an ounce of interest in him and visited once in a while, you’d know I love him more than anything! Adrian’s my best fucking friend!” Chris yells pouring his heart out.

“Show up tomorrow or don’t. I don’t fucking care. He doesn't need you. You might be his blood, but you’re not his family. He’s mine.” Chris vows, hanging up the phone as aggressively as possible. Which on a smart phone meant stabbing the end call button with his finger.

“You love me?”

Chris turns around, surprised to see Adrian standing behind him fully dressed. 

“Of course I do.” Chris admits aloud at last.

Adrian smiles, his smile brighter than the bar’s neon sign. “I thought you might. You mumble it in your sleep.”

“I do?” Chris asks dumbfounded.

“Yeah. Constantly.” Adrian nods, and Chris notes he’s still wearing that cowboy hat.

“Wait. Fuck. How much of my phone call did you hear?” Chris asks suddenly feeling sick.

“A lot.” Adrian admits. “Someone told me you and Gut were brawling in the carpark. So I came to watch. Were you yelling at my dad?” Adrian asks looking confused.

“We weren’t fighting.” Chris clarifies. “Gut went back inside.”

Adrian nods, closing the gap between them. “And my dad?” He asks standing on tiptoes.

“He’s an asshole.” Chris replies leaning his forehead against Adrian’s. Chris takes his hands and holds them tight in his own. “I don’t think he’s coming tomorrow babe.” He says brushing his thumb over the back of Adrian’s hand.

Adrian nods sadly and stares at the ground.

Chris holds him close, and lets him process the news.

“I know he’s not a racist, or physically abusive, but do you think maybe my dad’s a bad dad?” Adrian asks softly.

Chris’s heart aches. He kisses Adrian’s forehead.

“I see.” Adrian says pressing his lips to Chris’.

Someone suddenly yells “Get a room!” at them, as they exit the bar and stumble towards their car.

Adrian’s head turns and his shoulders straighten. “That guy’s way too drunk to be driving.” He says sounding just like Vigilante. “I should stop him.”

Chris grabs Adrian’s arm, the one that’s holding a concealed knife. 

“Wait a second babe.” He says, watching as the drunk guy’s sober friend takes the car keys. “It’s fine see.”

Adrian frowns disappointedly. “Things have been far too quiet in town lately.” He grumbles. “The butterflies killed a lot of bad guys.”

“We’re getting married tomorrow.” Chris reminds him, pulling Adrian close and kissing away his frown. “That’s exciting enough for me right now.”

Adrian hums thoughtfully. “I suppose it is exciting. Do you think we can take down some bad guys during our honeymoon?”

Chris laughs and looks at his watch. “Fuck it’s late. Let’s go home baby.”

Chapter Text

Chris wakes slowly as the murky winter sunlight peeks lazily through his thin bedroom curtains. His bed is warm, warmer than usual. Chris rolls over, hands searching for the source of the extra warmth.

His hands find a warm familiar knee and then a second.

“Dude that tickles!” Says a familiar voice shoving his hands away. “Stop. I’m gonna spill your water.”  

Waking up hungover isn’t new to Chris but there isn’t usually a glass of water waiting to greet him. He opens his eyes slowly, and reaches for the water and the person holding the glass. 

Adrian grins back at him and their hands touch as he hands the glass over. 

To anyone else Adrian’s manic grin and cowboy hat would be disconcerting, especially this early in the morning. But Chris is used to waking up beside Adrian.

“Morning baby.” He mumbles feeling like the luckiest guy in Evergreen.

Chris reaches for Adrian and cups his cheek with his hand. It feels different waking up beside the person he loves. Knowing he’s loved back. Knowing today is their wedding day.

Adrian ducks his head and blushes adorably. Chris adores this side of him. Adores every side, every angle, even the sharp ones.

Chris tips his head up and steals a kiss from Adrian’s soft lips. If it wasn’t for his hangover it would be a perfect morning. The two of them alone together and nowhere to be just yet.  

Outside the cockfighting champion two trailers over begins to crow loudly. Chris winces, his headache worsening. One day he’s going to shoot that wretched rooster.

Adrian wordlessly hands him two painkillers and Chris feels his heart melt. No one takes care of him the way Adrian does. 

Chris takes his pills and downs the water wishing it was coffee. 

Adrian smiles at him, pleased he’d taken his pills, and suddenly his headache isn’t quite so severe.
 
Chris pulls Adrian closer and removes his cowboy hat, chucking it carelessly onto the floor. Adrian whines in protest, but Chris ignores him, rolling them both onto their sides. 

This morning Chris plans on being the big spoon. 

But Adrian has other plans in mind for he throws his arms around Chris’ neck and kisses him hungrily. Adrian’s lips are simply too addictive to resist. 

“My hat!” Adrian complains when Chris eventually breaks their kiss so they can breathe.

“It’s fine.” Chris assures him, his thumb rubbing circles into the bare flesh of Adrian’s hip just above the hem of his boxer shorts.

“It’s on the floor!” Adrian pouts.

“It’s fine.” Chris reassures him, this time attacking his neck with kisses.

Changing tactic Chris pulls the covers back over them both, certain they have time to spare before they must get up.

Adrian snuggles closer and rests his head against Chris’ chest. “Dude. We’re getting married today.” He says like it’s a dream come true.

Chris nods. His heart needs a moment. 

“You taste like fruit loops.” He says when he finds his voice again.

Adrian grins up at him, his face close enough to kiss. “I did have fruit loops! That’s why we’re BFF’s!”

Chris slides a hand down beneath the covers, his mind full of lustful thoughts.

Adrian sits up suddenly. “I think my phone’s ringing.” He says fumbling for his glasses.

Chris swears. “Ignore it!” He yells.

Adrian looks at him aghast. “What if it’s someone who needs directions to the wedding? What if it’s my dad and he’s calling to apologise?”

“We can call them back later!” Chris reasons. “Let them leave a voicemail!”

Adrian shakes his head. 

“Hi it’s Adrian.” He says answering the phone cheerily. “It’s Economos.” He mouths, sticking his tongue out at Chris.

“Yeah he’s with me. What happened? Where?” Adrian asks rubbing his eye with his hand.

“It’s an alien invasion isn’t it?” Chris asks, a bad feeling in his bones. “Tell them to get Batman.”

“Shush.” Adrian hisses, trying to listen to Economos talk. 

“Oh damn. Double damn. You’re sure? All of it? Okay.” Adrian says. 

Chris can’t hear the other side of the conversation but what he has heard doesn’t sound good.

“What? No. You tell him!” Adrian whines. 

Chris knows Adrian is talking about him. He just wished he knew why.

Adrian sighs into the phone at Economos.  “Okay, fine. I’ll tell him. But this is why you aren’t best man!” 

“Later.” Adrian adds hanging up the phone.

Adrian sits back down on the bed and scoots close to Chris. He puts his hand on Chris’s shoulder in a practised manner. 

“I’d ask good news or bad news first? But I’ve only got bad news.” He says, his bright cheerful smile gone.

“Fuck.” Chris swears, his stomach sinking like a lead balloon. “Did something happen to the wedding?” He asks afraid of the answer.

Adrian shakes his head. 

“No. The wedding stuff is fine.” Adrian replies shaking his head. He thinks for a moment then adds. “As far as I’m aware, I mean. I could call the venue and check if you want?”

Chris pinches his nose, his headache worsening. “Just tell me what Economos was calling about? What’s happened?” 

Adrian hesitates.

“Babe! Just tell me about the call!” Chris yells unable to bear the suspense.

Adrian’s hand slides off his shoulder and Chris immediately regrets shouting. It wasn’t how he wanted to start their marriage.

“Your dad’s house burnt down. They think it was arson.” Adrian says staring at the bedspread.

“Fuck.” Chris swears shocked by the news.

Adrian nods. 

“They got your dad’s car too.” He adds cautiously reaching for Chris’ hand. 

“There’s nothing left. Sorry.” He apologises even though it’s not his fault.

Chris’ mind spins.

“It wasn’t an accident. They knew we were busy last night.” He says thinking of their awesome bachelor party.

“Who?” Adrian asks frowning. “Adebayo? I thought she was on board with the wedding now.”

“Of course it wasn’t her. But she invited a lot of people to the party. I’m sure most of the town have heard about the wedding and the inheritance. It was probably one of my dad’s supporters or shit-head like that.”

Adrian shuffles closer so they’re touching. “I think you’re right dude.”

“You can cry if you want to.” Adrian adds looking at him like he’s delicate. “I won’t tell anyone.” He promises.

Chris isn’t sure what he feels. Stunned mostly.

At least now they didn’t have to deal with clearing out his dad’s old stuff.

Adrian leans against his side. And Chris realises that for the first time he has someone by his side he can really rely on. Someone who truly loves him for being himself.

Chris glances around the room surprised all the talk of his dad’s house hasn’t brought out his ghost. Not that Chris has seen his dad for days.

Chris isn’t a therapist. He doesn’t really understand why he kept seeing his dad everywhere and why it’s finally stopped. But he can’t help but suspect Adrian might be the answer. 

Chris runs his hand through Adrian’s curls, fluffing his hair up.

“I don’t care about any of that stuff. His car was shit and his house stunk of cigarettes. He was too lazy to do proper maintenance on any of it.”

Adrian hums in agreement enjoying the head rubs.

“True. But I really wanted to own a house.” Adrian admits, squeezing his hand.

Chris smiles imaging the two of them and Eagly in a house with white picket fence. 

Maybe they could build a house together.

“At least we didn’t move our stuff in yet.” He says trying to comfort Adrian.

Adrian nods. “That would’ve sucked.” He agrees. “My beanie babies are super flammable.” 

“You still have those?” Chris asks surprised.

“They’re an investment!” Adrian insists.

“Right.” Chris rolls his eyes and leans in close to kiss Adrian.

Adrian ducks his head and his lips miss. 

Chris frowns. “Baby I was messing about. Your beanies are super cool.” He lies. 

“It’s not that.” Adrian says fidgeting. “I just had a thought.” He starts, a frown deepening on his handsome face. “Are we still getting married today?” He asks uncertainly.

“Why the fuck would we call the wedding off now?” Chris asks confused by Adrian’s sudden question. “Just because your dad isn’t coming? He’s an ass and I’m glad we didn’t get him that salad.”

Adrian looks worried and uncomfortable. Nervous like he did that night Chris found out his secret identity.

Chris wraps his arms around his love and holds him tight.

“Dude let me go!” Adrian moans trying to wriggle free.

Chris locks his arms. “Adrian. Talk to me.” He begs, nuzzling his nose against Adrian’s face.

“I don’t care what my dad thinks. He married a guy with a moustache. Besides I didn’t go to either of his weddings.” 

“Then why cancel the wedding?” Chris asks resting his forehead against Adrian’s forehead.

“There’s nothing left for you to inherit right? Economos said your dad’s house and car were destroyed. So you don’t need to marry me anymore.” Adrian replies his voice breaking, along with his heart. 

Chris kisses Adrian’s bare shoulder. It was never about the house or the inheritance. Not really.

It was all an excuse. 

“There’s still my dad’s money.” He says, burying his nose in the gap between Adrian’s neck and shoulder.

The frown on Adrian’s face flips upside down instantly. Chris can’t see it but he can tell.

“You’re right! You have to marry me for the money!” Adrian beams relaxing in his arms. “You promised you would.”

“I’d marry you anyway. Even if there wasn’t any money.” Chris admits kissing Adrian’s neck. He pulls away a little so he can look at the smile on Adrian’s face.

Adrian grins happily like a smiley man.

“Same P! But there is still some money right?” Adrian asks his eyes all sparkly and hopeful. “Because I’ve always wanted to get into Warhammer but it’s like rob a bank expensive.”

Chris laughs. 

“Of course. I said half the money was yours babe. I meant that.” Chris swears.

Adrian smiles at him. “You don’t need to give me that much.”

“I’m marrying you remember?” He says kissing Adrian on the lips. “That means we share everything. Right?

Adrian nods. “Right. What’s mine is yours. And vice versa.”

“So I can borrow your car?” 

“Dude.” Adrian pouts. “That’s not cool. You tricked me!”

“You love me.” Chris gloats stealing a kiss.

“You still tricked me! I thought marriage was about honesty and shit.”

“Honesty? Okay. I’m completely broke. Worse than broke. Currently in debt.”

“You spent the money already?” Adrian frowns. “Dude what did you spend the money on?”

“I spent it on the wedding.” Chris admits embarrassed. 

“But my mom’s paying.”

“I know. But I wanted today to be extra special. I bought fireworks.”

Adrian’s mouth drops open. “You really are in love with me.” He smiles, eyes twinkling.

“Yeah, I’m in love with you.” Chris confirms stroking Adrian’s cheek.

“Dude I’m in love with you too.” Adrian says beaming. “I didn’t think you could say those words if you weren’t drunk or asleep.”

“I’m working on it. This stuff is new to me.” Chris confesses aware they sort of skipped the stage in between friends with benefits and engaged.

Adrian nods. “Do you know how long I’ve been in love with you? These last two weeks have been a dream come true. I keep expecting to wake up and find out I’ve been in a coma.”

“Trust me this isn’t a coma dream. I want to be with you forever.” Chris says kissing Adrian.

“You mean for all the risings and settings of the sun.” Adrian says quoting their vows.

“Yeah, I do.”