Chapter Text
Gwaine was hungover. There was no surprise there. Lancelot was also hungover. That was the unusual bit. Merlin groaned as he repeated that there was no hangover potion, and no Gaius was not in to make it, and no he didn't know how to make it. The two grown men whimpered because Merlin really was being too loud for so early in the morning.
It was noon he reminded them as he continued with his chores for Gaius. He looked over to see the lines of vial and such that needed to be cleaned and inwardly groaned as he realized that this would take well over two candle marks to clean all of these by hand. The warlock whispered as he recited the spell for cleaning and watched as the grime and dirt disappeared into thin air. He continued with the rest of the chambers and was done in record time as Arthur walked in to see him levitating vials onto the shelf.
“Nope, I didn’t see that. I have a perfectly normal servant who is definitely not magic.” Arthur said as he walked back out.
“You’re fault for not knocking.” Merlin shouted at his back.
“I’m the crown prince, I don't need to knock.” Arthur shouted back, still walking away.
“I don’t even understand why he still does that. His father is far enough out of his mind that he couldn’t notice sorcery underneath his nose.” Lancelot commented. Gwaine shushed him for being too loud before laying back on the man’s shoulder, too tired to keep his head up. Merlin smirked as he finished the last of his chores and went to the kitchens to fetch Arthur’s lunch leaving the two freshly knighted men to wait for Gaius.
The walk to the kitchens was a short walk from his chambers. He had passed Percival and Elyan on the way and informed them where Gwaine and Lancelot were when asked. They smiled politely and continued their walk. As he entered the kitchen the scent of chicken broth and roasted boar overtook him. The scent of rosemary was strong and smelled absolutely heavenly. They didn’t have many spices from trade but the rosemary they sourced locally from the forest. He waved to a few of the servants he knew before heading off to the corner that the cook, Iuliana, was in. Iuliana supplied him with a plate filled with meats and cheeses. She handed a fig over which Merlin promptly pocketed with a smirk. He picked up an empty pitcher and filled it to the brim with a whispered, “implete agaum” and a flash of his eyes. The water sloshed around with a light sound before settling into the container. He breathed out a sigh as he made the monotonous walk to Arthur’s chambers. When he opened the doors he saw Gwen speaking to Arthur about Uther’s declining health. He quietly walked in and set the food on the table not wanting to disturb the two. They whispered a bit more before Gwen bowed her head and turned away. She beamed at him and when the light footsteps receded and the door was shut, Merlin spoke up.
“Sire?” A pause. No response. “Arthur?” Another pause. Silence. “Yeah alright.” he crossed the room and stood behind Arthur for a moment before lightly grabbing his shoulders and guiding him to the table. He pulled out the chair and sat Arthur down in it. Arthur was still dazed and unresponsive, his breaths coming small but not frantic. Merlin sat on the arm of the chair, it was something Arthur hated him doing and he always pushed him off, but there was still no movement. So he moved the chair slightly back so he could stand in front of Arthur, moving to put his hand on the prince’s shoulder. He moved the other one to the Prince’s hair, sweeping it back in a soothing motion.
Without ever lifting his head Arthur said in the quietest tones that one could only barely hear, “He’s going to die. My father. He’s almost gone.” Arthur knew his father had done disgusting things and most likely deserved his fate, but it hurt all the same. To know that he would soon be without either parent, to know that soon he would have no family to rely on. His sister had betrayed him, his mother dead, his father soon to follow, and an uncle that was almost certainly only using him for his crown.
It hurt him to hear the despair in his friend’s voice. “Can you heal him?” Arthur asked with almost a whimper. The warlock shuttered a breath and attempted to have some semblance of an answer. He failed to come up with one. Merlin could. He knew that. Arthur was aware of what his servant could do. The only question was, would he? Could he put the fact that his father had killed thousands of his kind away, in the back of his mind? Could he heal the man who had slaughtered and imprisoned so many of his kind? Could he get past the fact that if given the chance the same man would do it again and without mercy? Arthur couldn’t. Arthur knew that if given the chance he would let a man who had killed so many rot for his actions. But it was his father. And he loved his father, even though he knew it was probably wrong to love a killer. It was wrong to love someone who saw evil in innocence, who saw foes where there were friends, who would wipe the very shadows from the earth if someone so much as whispered that the dark held magic. Could Merlin help this man? Even just for Arthur’s sake.
“-thur. Arthur. Hey, look at me. Arthur.” Merlin’s frantic voice broke into his thoughts. He was being stirred from his deep concentration. Arthur slowly moved his gaze up to meet Merlin’s. A soft smile had appeared masking the obvious worry. “I lost you for a minute there. Are you alright?” It was a stupid question. Arthur very obviously wasn’t. But he appreciated the sentiment all the same. He wasn’t alright. But he was almost positive he would be.
The feast preparations the next morning were frantic and Merlin was struggling to keep up. He ran to the kitchen weaving through nobles and servants alike. Iuliana grinned at him as he opened the doors searching for the shirt he had left there this morning. As he was grabbing the shirt a hook on a string wandered down in front of him flopping around a bit. Odd as it was, this was not normal for Camelot, kind of, so he was only a bit confused. He looked up to see Gwaine and Percival above a vent holding said string and matching smirks. He shook his head in mock disappointment, before laughing a bit and hooking it through one of the smaller roasted chicken breasts on the table. He tugged on the string to let the two know to pull it up before walking off with the shirt. As he scrambled out of the kitchen he heard Iuliana shout at him and ran out laughing.
He rushed down the corridor with the shirt trying to make it to Arthur’s chambers as quickly as possible. He listed off the things he needed to do as his pace grew quickened. He needed to help Gaius make a few potions for visiting royals. He needed to dress Arthur and clean his boots. He needed to sew up his shirt and check in with a few different servants about rotations. He also needed to- his train of thought broke as he ran into a servant holding a pitcher of wine. He didn’t have time to prevent anything as the wine spilled all over the shirt he held. He grumbled a bit as Lancelot walked up holding a bundle of swords over his shoulder.
“You could try a bit of salt.” Merlin heard and he looked up. He grumbled more at the idea.
“Arthur is going to kill me.” He stated. The prince was so picky about stains.
“Let’s see.” Lancelot walked closer to inspect the stain and hoisted the swords up just a bit farther. “You’ve faced far worse, Merlin.” Lancelot mocked as he went to walk past him. He clapped Merlin on the shoulder imitating sympathy as the warlock called out to him
“He needs it for tonight.”
Lancelot turned around for just a moment, “I’m sure a man of your talents can think of something.” He winked as he walked off. The warlock thought for a moment before looking around to see if the coast was clear. He whispered a few words with a flash of gold and watched as the wine lifted itself off the shirt and disappeared into the air. Lancelot turned around as Merlin lifted the shirt for him to see. The knight shrugged in an “I told you so” kind of way before smirking and continuing with his task, the swords bobbing up and down with each step.
As he walked into the Prince’s room he saw something surprising. The prince was actually dressed. Feeling the need to point this out he commented on it and Arthur in his usual fashion retorted something about himself not being an idiot. But when Arthur turned around Merlin saw the shirt folded into itself exposing the Prince’s back.
He bit his lip to keep himself from laughing before commenting on it.
“Are you sure about that?”
“I beg your pardon?” Arthur walked around the desk moving to sit down. The speech in his hand was still mostly blank, having only a few sentences on it.
“It’s just that-” he was interrupted as he attempted to show Arthur what was wrong.
“Merlin, I am trying to write a speech.” The prince stated, now annoyed with his servant’s antics.
“Do you want help?” Merlin set down the shirt on the bed and conjured the parchment he worked on last night.
“No.”
“You won’t want this then? I spent all night working on it.” He hadn’t really. It only took around 20 minutes, but the prince didn’t have to know that. Arthur sighed inwardly in relief as he held out his hand. He smiled as he handed over the speech, very clearly proud of himself. Arthur unfurled the parchment skimming over the words.
“Merlin, do you know how to write?” The prince vaguely knew that his manservant must have some sense as he could read the signs on paths and labels Gaius wrote on the vial in his chambers, but beyond that, Arthur had no idea. The letters on the page looked gibberish to him.
“Course I do. Why did I spell something wrong?”
Arthur handed the parchment back to Merlin expecting him to immediately see the problem. “What’s wrong with it?” Merlin paused before rereading it. He handed it back to Arthur shaking his head. “I really don’t know what you're referring to.”
Arthur shook his head before gesturing to the parchment. “This, Merlin, isn’t even close to Brythonic. I don’t even know if this is a language.”
“Course it is. It’s Gaelic obviously.”
“Why’d you write in Gaelic? How do you even know how to?”
“Cause it’s the easiest language to write in. Brythonic has too many discrepancies, just makes it harder. Also my mother taught it to me.”
Arthur was only slightly shocked that his servant knew Gaelic. As acting crown regent he prided himself to be fluent in most languages. Gaelic however, was a language that most detested and therefore was removed from his studies at a young age.
“Can you at least translate it for me?”
Merlin groaned before his eyes flashed gold and the parchment transferred itself to the common language.
“That’s-” Arthur paused at the fact that the speech was perfect as he skimmed through the words, “handy.” He finished reading and Merlin smirked as Arthur was a bit dumbfounded at how well the man could write. The warlock just walked out with a smile and rushed to Gaius’s chambers. The physician wasn’t in the rooms but he had left a list of how to make the Lords’ potions. He skimmed the list before taking out the mortar and pestle and grinding the Echinacea and Lavender together. He added a few odd bottles of listed liquids but after an hour or so he had finished what he needed and rushed to his room.
He grabbed the purple shirt he wore on feasts and such and ran as quickly as possible to where he knew Gwen would be. His footsteps were light and he could feel the cool stone beneath his feet as he ran barefoot across the castle. He finally made it down the stairs and continued to the scullery, never stopping.
He finally flung open the door and took half a moment to catch his breath. He saw Gwen immediately and jogged over to her. She paused her work to look up at him. She smiled and chuckled a bit when she saw he was red.
“Did you run all the way here?”
“Maybe.” She looked at the shirt in his hands.
“What did you need?” Gwen asked, reaching for the cloth.
“How much do you love me?” He paused with an awkward smile. Gwen narrowed her eyes a bit trying to stifle a chuckle.
“Why? What did you do this time?” He scrunched up his face a bit before answering.
“I may or may not have torn the entire side.”
“How in the world did you do that? I just sewed up this shirt last week.” Gwen examined the damage attempting to assess how long this would take. Her needles were supplied by the castle and therefore were quite dull, making it hard to sew quickly.
“It wasn’t my fault this time!” Merlin exclaimed.
“No, of course not.” Gwen muttered, but any bitterness in her voice was canceled out by the grin that graced her face. She instructed him to grab the thread and a small needle before setting to work mending the shirt.
“You’re a lifesaver, thank you.” He stooped down to kiss her cheek and ran out that door.
She chuckled to herself before dropping her eyes in concentration.
The feast was going smoothly so far. All the servants attending had finally got the rota memorized so they knew when to swap out. Arthur’s speech was going well and no one had gotten overly drunk yet. Arthur was just about to toast Camelot’s time of peace when it struck Merlin. He wasn’t completely sure what was happening but when an old woman appeared a meter away, time stopped and everyone had frozen but him. He was pretty sure by this point this was not a good sign of peace and prosperity. He felt an unbearable cold wrack through him. It was excruciating and he drew in a long breath trying to get his body to stop shaking uncontrollably.
The old woman called out his druidic name in a low raspy voice. Startled and unable to think Merlin dropped the pitcher he was holding with a large clatter. As the wine spilled out everyone paused to find the source of the noise and found their eyes on a single servant, who looked haunted, before passing out and hitting the cold floor. Lancelot ran over quickly, chainmail rattling as he went to go help his friend. Gwaine, pausing only slightly to set down his cup, followed suit. Arthur was worried but quickly hid it with a look of annoyance at the interruption. He turned his head and eyed Gaius who looked worried at this sudden scene. Merlin was still shivering on the floor struggling to breathe. His eyes had glazed over long since and as Gwaine took him up into his arms, hooking an arm under his shoulders and legs, he couldn’t help but shiver as Merlin now had a fierce chill running all around him. He bent his head towards Lance and ran out of the room to get to the Physician's chambers. Lancelot looked at Gaius as the physician rushed out.
Arthur looked pointedly at the guests until they slowly started to break the silence. In just a little while the entire incident had been forgotten. Everyone laughed and mingled with each other, but from where Arthur was standing, he could see his knights, excluding Gwaine who had left, fiddling with their hands and talking in hushed tones. He moved towards them pointedly until he was just outside the group. No one looked up, still talking quietly about what happened.
“Do you think Arthur would notice if we left to check on him.”
Arthur cleared his throat and spoke clearly, “Only if you were stupid enough to speak about your plan in front of him.” They all moved back and jumbled their words, trying to speak over each other. Arthur held up a hand to silence them, not even attempting to understand why they needed to visit his servant.
“I’m not going to ask. Go, but make sure you’re here to escort the lady’s to their rooms.”
They all stared at him with varying looks of shock. Elyan took in a deep breath before bowing deeply and walking to the door. Percival who had recovered from shock did the same and walked out quickly catching up to. Leon and Lancelot looked at each other and bowed with a quick, “Sire.” before practically running out of the rooms.
“Is he alright?” Percival asked as soon as he made it into the room. Gaius looked less than enthusiastic at new guests but nodded. Gwaine looked up with a grateful look in his eyes calling them over with a slight nod of his head. They filed in slowly and quietly not wanting to disturb the sleeping man. Gwaine’s cloak and belt had been discarded on the stairs.
“What’s wrong?” Leon asked with a waver in his voice, only barely noticeable.
“We’re not sure.” Gwaine answered, his eyes shiny with unshed tears of fear for his friend.
“I’ve never seen anyone so cold.” Gaius said returning to the bedside with an extra cover. He put the thick material over the four that were already there. The group stood in a thick silence waiting for something to happen. Merlin stirred lightly and Lancelot was the first to see it. His excitement quickly rose as a groan was heard from the bed. The warlock blinked very slowly attempting to open his eyes. He sat up with help from Gwaine who had immediately moved closer when Merlin moved. He groaned again and pushed off the covers. Gwaine immediately tried to recover them as Merlin tried to grab onto Lancelot who was standing close to the bed.
“It’s way too hot for covers.” He said in a gravelly voice. Lancelot blinked in confusion as Merlin continued to grab at him but ultimately failed when his arms stopped working and fell to his lap. Merlin grumbled something unintelligible looking up wide eyed at Percival who almost immediately understood and went to reach for him. As he hoisted him up Percy had to resist shivering as holding Merlin was more like picking up an icicle than a human. Merlin groaned some more but eventually had reached a standing position leaning against Percival who still held him up.
“Can you stand?” Percival asked softly.
“I think so.” Merlin moved as Percival hovered his hand an inch away. He stayed up for just over two seconds before his knees locked in place and he started to fall backwards. Percival caught him immediately and moved him back to the bed. Merlin didn’t protest as he was hoisted up and put back under the covers. He said he was just tired but was almost sure it came out more like vague grumbles than actual words. He was too exhausted to correct himself as he fell into a deep sleep, floating through a deep fog.
He awoke after what couldn’t have been more than a few hours to see the sun rising in the sky just barely peeking above the east mountains. Gwaine had fallen asleep beside him in a chair that had been pulled to the bedside. He only knew this because it was the chair he always kept on the opposite side of the room to reach vials on the shelf. Gwaine had one arm holding onto the spare bed and the other cushioning his head. He slowly snuck out of bed not wanting to wake up the sleeping knight. He got up noticing a pool of water on the floor. Not even thinking about it he floated the water into the bucket that had been on its side, setting it near the fireplace. He prepared himself a small bowl of gruel and went to sit down on the bench at the table. As he pulled it out it scraped along the floor making a loud screech.
The knight shot up reaching for his hilt but coming up with nothing. He searched frantically before his eyes landed on Merlin. Merlin, who was standing. And breathing. And who looked completely startled now, seeing the emotions run across Gwaine’s face in flashes. Merlin was… alive. He was standing there. Right in front of him. Gwaine slowly reached out, still not sure that Merlin wasn’t a ghost, a figment of his imagination. When his hand landed on Merlin’s arm and stopped he almost weeped. He steadied himself after he realized he was swaying from the shock. He took a deep breath and rushed forward and threw his arms around the boy’s neck. Merlin swayed back a bit with sudden movement as Gwaine set his head into the crook of Merlin’s neck, refusing to let go. Merlin could feel a slight heat on his cheeks at the sign of affection but settled his hands onto the small of Gwaine’s back and hugged him softly.
Gwaine mumbled something into his shoulder that Merlin didn’t quite catch.
“What was that?” He asked very quietly.
Gwaine pulled back just far enough to say it again, “You were dead. You died.” He was a bit taken aback at that.
“I’m almost positive I didn’t.” He said trying to lighten the mood by gesturing to himself in a “see” kind of way,
“You did. You stopped breathing, You were freezing. The other knights left for their chambers. They couldn’t bear it here. Not while you were…” Gwaine's voice broke before he finished the sentence. He took a deep breath in before realizing, “Someone probably needs to tell Princess.”
Merlin couldn’t quite follow his line of thought trying to figure out what he meant. “Why?”
“He was- well you better just check on him yourself.” Gwaine stopped himself from saying anything else simply holding on to Merlin just a moment longer. The leather of Merlin’s jacket underneath his fingertips grounded him. He rubbed it between his fingertips like it was his only lifeline, which sounded just about right about now. Merlin was alive. That was all that mattered. Merlin was alive. He could breathe again. His friend wasn’t leaving him. He was right here. He continued to hold Merlin, refusing to let go. Gwaine felt Merlin’s fingertips tracing patterns on his back. It felt so nice to have a reason to hold on this long, to not have to lie to himself for only a moment.
“Gwaine?” Merlin asked very softly into his hair. “Are you alright?”
“Merlin. Merlin you were dead. I thought I’d lost you forever. I thought- I thought I’d never see you again. I couldn’t even fathom losing you.” Gwaine chuckled softly for a moment, “I think I scared the knights just a bit.”
“Why, what did you do?” He questioned lifting head and pulling back to look at him. Gwaine huffed at the loss of contact but grimaced a bit in remembrance. “I’m sure they’ll tell you about it.” At that he stepped back with a grin and straightened his clothes out a bit. “Anyway, you should probably go visit the knights and princess to tell them the good news.”
Merlin paused for a moment. “I- I um, don’t know where the knights chamber’s are.” He had no reason to ever visit the previous knights before his group was knighted, as the other’s always came in themselves for injuries. Since Gwaine and the rest were knighted in the cave, he hadn’t had the time to visit them, still busy with the injured from the battle.
Gwaine looked a bit confused but offered to walk him there. It was still early and very few people were out walking the castle. The sunlight hit Merlin through the painted glass and bathed him in an array of colors, and the gods would have a price to pay if he never got to see this view again. Gwaine had to resist the urge to say fuck it and kiss Merls right here right now. The air felt cool on his skin but the goosebumps on his arms weren’t because of the temperature. As Merlin brushed his hand once more an electric shock went through his arm. He tried to regain composure but almost immediately failed as Merlin grabbed his arm to point out a colorful bird out of an open window. Gwaine looked at him and watched in awe as a smile spread across his face. The sun in his eyes reflected the blue and highlighted his cheeks making him look ethereal. The colors danced around in Merlin’s hair reflecting just enough light to make it look as though Merlin had a halo surrounding him.
“It’s gorgeous.” he said, still looking at Merlin. Merlin turned to look at him with an air of joy still present. If Gwaine had had a single brain cell he would have looked away and continued to lead Merlin to the knights chambers. Gwaine had no such thing and continued to stare. No one would have blamed him. Not the way Merlin’s blush appeared on his cheeks and spread to his ears. Not the way Merlin continued to hold onto his wrist long after they both realized he was. Not the way that when Gwaine tried to move away, Merlin held his wrist tighter and brought him closer instead. His wrist was on fire, his brain screaming with delight. He hadn’t noticed he was moving closer until Merlin’s sharp intake of breath alerted him that he was just about an inch away. He paused, unsure. What if Merlin hated him? What if he got pushed away? What if Merlin ignored him after this? What if- Any thoughts he had stopped immediately asthe other closed the gap and holy shit if he had a brain it would most definitely be done for now. Merlin’s lip’s felt cold as they moved against his and it sent him back to last night. His heart sped up and he was thrown back to what had happened just hours before.
Merlin’s eyes were still open. It was so unnerving. Gaius had left to go retrieve a remedy for Merlin. Gwaine reached over to dip the now cold rag into the bucket of boiling water. As he lifted his hand out and pulled away the bucket shifted and fell to the dirt floor. He let a few obscenities out as he set the rag onto Merlin’s chest where he had been holding it before. He held the bucket out to the knight’s vague direction and without saying a word it was taken out of his hands. Whoever had taken it moved out of the room to refill it. Gwaine didn’t hear the door being opened and shut as they left. He was still watching for Merlin’s breathing to settle. He was watching so intently that when someone touched his shoulder he spun out of the chair and held them in a headlock. He twisted the intruder’s arm behind their back making them yelp in pain. He only vaguely recognized being pulled back by two others and before he knew it, he was being pushed against a wall. He shook his head quickly to clear any confusion and realized he was being pinned by Leon, who had a determined look crossing his features. Gwaine shook him off and went back to tending Merlin, ignoring the pained look on Lancelot’s face. His world stopped when he saw Merlin had stopped breathing. It was hell after that. When Percival came back with the bucket of hot water he saw everyone completely still. Gwaine was hovering over Merlin feeling for a pulse on his neck. Everyone held their breath waiting, waiting for any sign that Merlin was alive. When Gwaine let out a sob the silence broke. Percival’s hands were shaking and the bucket in his arms fell to the floor, dousing it in water once more. The sound broke Gwaine and he whipped around with a look of anger on his face. He screamed at the knights until his throat was hoarse and the knights had all left. Once the door had closed and the dust settled, Gwaine let the sobs rack throughout his body. He let his tears fall, they hit Merlin’s chest. Had this had been a romance his tears would have glowed and Merlin’s heartbeat would have started and they would have lived happily ever after. It wasn’t, Merlin stayed still, unmoving. He cried just a bit more at the thought.
He was being shaken fiercely. As the curtain of fog in his brain lifted he saw Merlin crouching down in front of him.
“Gwaine,” A small almost unnoticeable sigh of relief was heard. “There you are.” He had a soft smile and his hand was on Gwaine’s cheek. Merlin’s touches felt so soft and warm and safe.
“Shit, I ruined it didn’t I?” Gwaine realized remembering the kiss. He hid his face in his hands, completely embarrassed. Only he could ruin a kiss with flashbacks of death. Merlin moved to pull his wrists down to plant a firm kiss on Gwaine’s cheek.
“No, you didn’t ruin anything. I’m still here aren’t I.” He planted another kiss on Gwaine’s nose. One on his forehead. One on his lips. He continued peppering kisses everywhere until Gwaine stopped moping.
“Alright, alright, stop assaulting me so we can get to the knights.” He said with a chuckle. Merlin followed him all the way to the knight’s hallway practically skipping. They knocked on one of the doors, Lancelot opened it with an exhausted look. The exhaustion fell away to shock as he saw them both standing there.
“Merlin?” Lance spoke quietly, almost unbelieving.
“Surprise.” Merlin said awkwardly.