Chapter Text
Lexa's throat was constricted, her spine rigid as she paused to glance up at the screen, at Clarke's blue eyes. She cleared her throat, steeling herself before she answered the blonde.
"I am indeed, considering it." She said finally, after breaking under the other captain's intense gaze. At once, it was as if a volcano had erupted.
"Are you insane?" Clarke positively squeaked, her voice raising several octaves. "That's suicide!"
Lexa frowned at Clarke. "It is the most logical option. There's a 50% probability of success, if not more."
"And a 50% chance of failure." Clarke retorted. "There must be other alternatives that you haven't considered yet, we can find something else less risky."
"There is nothing else." Lexa said quietly, resolute. She continued pacing restlessly. Her mind raced with pieces of a concocted plan, spinning around faster than the speed of light. "Clarke, there is no other option. I would not have a Starfleet officer sent to certain death."
"Then I'll fight for him." Clarke said, her voice hopeful, yet Lexa only shook her head at the blonde's suggestion.
"That suggestion in itself is illogical; you are too far away and would not make it in time." Lexa flattened the alternative easily. She paused mid-step to meet Clarke's eyes levelly. "This is the only way."
"Lexa."
"Captain Griffin, that's enough." Lexa intoned firmly, one hand lifted up to stop her. "Do you doubt my ability to win in hand-to-hand combat?" She asked robustly. Clarke crossed her arms and glared back.
"Lexa you're the captain of your ship, you're their leader. And what if you lose?" Clarke asked, and Lexa could swear she heard an undercurrent of worry in her voice.
"First officer Lincoln is more than capable of taking my place. And Clarke, you are not in a position to change our current circumstances, and even so, death is a path that we all must take, the only unknown variable is the when."
"Goddamn it Lexa, stop being so callous, so asinine, for one second! Stop being a Vulcan about it and just let me speak to the human part of you." Clarke argued blithely, her eyes dark with vehemence, and in this moment, Lexa swore that she was more attracted to this woman that she had ever been to any other life form.
"Clarke, your concern is most welcome, but unnecessary." Lexa stated firmly. She stopped pacing and sat down at her chair. "I have orders to bring back your officer, and I intend on following through." She smiled wearily. "I do have a 90% success rate after all."
"But this is your life Lexa." Clarke snarled, sounding livid and indignant. "Are you willing to gamble on your life?" Lexa closed her eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
"Yes."
"Well, I'm not." Clarke stated, and Lexa opened her eyes to meet the other woman.
"And who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?" Lexa asked. "You are a captain with your own mission, I suggest you focus on that instead." Clarke glared at her, outraged and outmaneuvered. However, Clarke was never one to surrender to a fight not yet won.
"Lexa, I…I care for you." She said quietly, vulnerable and honest. "And I would like to think that you would listen to me. Please, please look for another way." Her eyes glanced hopefully at Lexa, who only turned her head, pretending not to notice the emotion in her last sentence. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She did not know how to respond to this sudden show of trepidation and sincerity.
"Clarke, this is my duty. We swore to the same ideals, and whether you like it or not, this is something that needs to be done." Lexa brushed aside the other woman's concern, choosing to ignore them in favor of getting her point across.
"Lexa,"
"Enough." Lexa said firmly. "It has been decided, there is nothing you can say to change this plan." She clenched her jaw. "Go tend to your crew. Care for them." The brunette corralled her own rebellious misgivings and ended the transmission. The hurt on the blonde's face was the last thing she saw before the screen was once more unoccupied, revealing the hollowness of the final frontier.
----
Clarke stared at the blank screen, a plethora of different emotions clouding her mind. Anger, disappointment, fear. She was angry at Lexa, angry at what she had said, at how she had brushed away her concern like a horse would bat away a fly with its tail. And she was also angry at herself, for not being clearer, for allowing herself to fall head first into a complicated relationship with a stubborn, yet charming, woman.
The bridge of the USS Ark, unlike the Washington, still held all of her crew members. Octavia had been silent while Clarke sat, lost in thought, but after a good few minutes, she spoke up, walking over to the blonde's side.
"Captain?" The younger woman ventured carefully. When Clarke showed no signs of having heard her, Octavia repeated herself. After a few tries, Clarke jolted from her reverie.
"Sorry, what was that Octavia?" Clarke asked testily. Her conversation with Lexa had made her irate and ready to explode.
"Captain, are you, okay?" Octavia asked quietly.
"I'm fine Lieutenant." Clarke snapped. She stood, glaring at the rest of her crew, who were silent. They watched her like a wild animal, and at the moment she felt every bit like the wild animal they saw her as. "Everyone get back to work." She ordered briskly, and at her own accord, her legs took her out of the bridge and onto the elevator.
She wasn't sure where her intended destination was, but when she had finally stopped moving, Clarke found herself alone in an empty cafeteria. She sat down at one of the several tables, her head in her hands.
Lexa. She had only met her five weeks ago, yet Clarke felt like the woman understood her, knew her to her very core. After Finn, she had promised herself to simply live in the moment, and she had. She had lived in three weeks of moments. She had sworn to just 'fool around', and for five weeks she had fooled herself into thinking that that was all it was.
That same woman was going to fight in a duel that could only end in death, and Clarke felt that clench of her heart, the sensation she hoped she could avoid, yet here she was experiencing it for the second time.
Lexa. Just the woman's name was enough to piss her off and turn on other unwanted and inappropriate emotions simultaneously.
It was her fault. Clarke dropped her head, her forehead resting on the metal surface of the table. She had thought she could do it, could have mindless, unattached sex. Damn her heart, and damn Lexa. Even thinking about the brunette made her blood boil, and her fists impacted the table instinctually.
"Whoa there." Clarke's head snapped up at the sound of company, and she was met with chocolate brown eyes and a sympathetic smile.
"Raven, here to get some food?" Clarke asked in a falsely cheery tone. The engineer let out a short laugh and sat down across from the blonde.
"Clarke, we both know why I'm here." She said softly. Raven searched Clarke's facial features, the corner of her mouth quirked. "How long have you been seeing Lexa?" Clarke leaned back on her seat, crossing her arms.
"What makes you think that?" She deflected quickly, to which Raven simply smirked.
"Please. If Wick and I argued like that, we'd still be married." Raven clasped her hands together, resting them on the cold table. Clarke groaned and rested her elbows on the surface between them.
"She's stupid." She finally grunted.
"She's brave."
"She's stupid. And arrogant, and stubborn."
"Sounds like your kind of woman." Raven folded her arms with a winning smirk.
"She's not my woman." The words stung, were poison in her mouth as she spat them out, a small part of her wishing it would be true. "She's just, someone I've been hanging out with."
"And sleeping with, evidently." Raven observed, and Clarke glared at her.
"Yes, okay, we've been sleeping together for a few weeks." She looked down at her fingers. "But we're not…we haven't labelled it." It was the hesitation in her voice that gave her away, and ultimately Raven, being the inquisitive person she was, caught on.
"You want to though." Clarke laughed humorlessly at the brunette.
"What difference does that make if she dies tomorrow?"
"But what if she doesn't?" Clarke shook her head at Raven, covering her face with her hands. She was silent, contemplating this possibility, and finally sighed.
"I didn't want to fall for her." She mumbled through her fingers. "I didn't even know that I had too, but then she just had to get involved in a duel to the death, had to go risk her life, and now I have all these different feelings about her that just won't let up." Clarke moaned. "I want to kill her. I want to slap that stubborn look off her face." The blonde rubbed her temples. "But I also want to kiss her, I want to hug her and keep her safe with me." Raven laughed, reaching forward to pull Clarke's hands from her face.
"Well it seems you have, and it's too late to turn back now." Raven smiled at her, her fingers clasping Clarke's clammy palms. The blonde stared down at the table, and finally looked up to meet Raven's patient gaze.
"Well fuck."
----
"Are you sure you still want to do this?" Lincoln asked as he stood next to Lexa. They were at the ring, Bellamy currently being tended to by Nyko, their medical officer who had beamed down with the two of them.
"Stop." Lexa growled. "I've had enough conversations circulating around this." She barely looked at him before offering offhandedly. "I'll be fine." Her face was emotionless, devoid of any anxiety, hiding the bubbling feeling welling within her as she cracked her knuckles.
"We're just concerned." Lincoln bit his lip. After a heartbeat, he opened his mouth. "Captain Griffin seemed pretty worried too." Lexa's eyebrows rose comically, but she refused to turn her head.
"How would you know that?" She asked, her voice cool and aloof. Lincoln shifted uncomfortably, and unwanted thoughts of the blonde woman, of the sharp tone of her voice, her soft fingertips on Lexa's skin, and the look of fear when they had last spoken, the thought that her angered expression would be the last time she would ever see it again sprang into Lexa's head. She swore under her breath. Her emotions were clouding her judgement, and at this very moment, that fact could get her killed. She wanted to see Clarke again. To do that, she had to survive this first.
Shaking her head from side-to-side, Lexa distracted herself by eyeing her opponent. Melkar was swarthy, portly and round and with sharp cheekbones that contrasted largely with the roundness of his body. He was also much taller than her. This would be fun.
Around them, the arena was buzzing with excitement. Spectators watched from rows and rows of seats, as if this were a boxing match on Earth. There were boxes specifically reserved for higher class members of the Andorians, and cheap, nosebleed level seats. Lexa watched as faces, old and young, peered into the sides of the ring as they attempted to get a good look at their own people's opponent. Except the competitors fought to the death, and from what she had read, death by ice-miner tool was not pretty.
"Octavia yelled me all about it." Lexa scoffed at Lincoln's use of verb.
"Yelled you?" Her serious mask split into a grin, and Lincoln smiled cheekily.
"Yes, she yelled." His smile faded. "She's worried about her captain, and so am I." Lexa let out a sigh.
"Lincoln, your concern is noted." She raised one arm, stretching it. "But I am fairly certain that this fight will soon be over." Lexa stepped into the ring, the sleeveless shirt she was wearing felt loose and comfortable.
On the other side of the ring, the Andorian mimicked her action, and at Tem's signal, they walked up to each other. A guard met them in the center of the ring, a rope ready and waiting in his hands.
"The rules are thus," Tem began, "The competitors will be tied to one another, with only the ushaan-tor as a weapon. The duel ends with either the death of one, or incapacitation." He nodded to the guard, and both Lexa and Melkar stepped forward and were tethered together, ice-miner tools in hand.
Lexa gripped the weapon loosely in her right hand, breathing deeply. The Andorian smirked at her, a cocky grin on his face. She ignored him in favor for watching for Tem's signal.
At the Chancellor's nod, the fight began.
The Andorian lunged at her instantly, and Lexa just barely avoided the blade of her opponent's weapon, the skin of her cheek still stinging from the closeness of it. With the restricting tether in place, Lexa found herself crippled as she ducked to avoid blow after blow, her own weapon lifting occasionally to block the strikes that came too close for comfort.
It was a dance, a bloody, deathly dance that continued for ten minutes. Throughout, Lexa kept slowly slinking backwards, leading Melkar around the ring in gradual steps as she dodged and ducked. It was not obvious, but Lexa could tell that her opponent was tiring.
"Are you going to keep dodging me like a coward, or are you going to fight?" Melkar taunted her as he slashed at her torso. Lexa felt the blade's sting at her flank, but she refused to let any pain cloud her features. It was at most, a carpet burn, and she would not allow something so trivial be the cause of her death.
"Do not discuss cowardice with me, when you were beating one of your wives." She shot back as she twirled to avoid another jab.
Melkar's weight was – as she had properly theorized before the duel began – slowing him down, making it difficult for him to keep up with her as she dodged and jerked away from him nimbly.
"Your officer interfered in private Andorian matters," Melkar slashed at her, and she parried with lightning-fast reflexes, the blades meeting with an almighty clash. "And so you will die by Andorian hands!"
Suddenly, his foot shot out in an attempt to trip her, and she just barely leapt sideways to avoid it.
As her left foot just skimmed the ground, she saw the blade singing towards her in the corner of her eye, and she hastily elevated her ushaan-tor up to protect her neck in the nick of time, parrying the offending weapon away with a powerful swing. Lexa panted heavily, sweat pouring down her forehead like a river. Her opponent did not fare any better, his breaths coming out in gasps. It was time.
Taking a deep breath to calm her heart rate, Lexa lunged forward at his shoulder, and as he swerved to avoid it, she swiftly changed the direction of her blade mid-swing, and slashed at his chest, ripping open his shirt and the skin and muscle underneath. The Andorian jerked back, stunned, and she lifted one leg and kicked him hard in the front of the knee, knocking him down.
Lexa heard an audible gasp from the crowd, and seeing her opening, she leapt forward, and with practiced precision, her blade met the skin of his wrist, and continued through the tendons and ligaments, across bone until finally the weapon met the air's sobering kiss with great relief.
The severed hand fell to the ground, the ushaan-tor clanging loudly on the stone as the Andorian howled in agony. The crowd hooted and jeered, and Lexa stood in front of the Andorian. His face was contorted with pain, and the corner of her mouth twitched as she took a step forward and kicked the fallen weapon aside. She glanced across the ring at Lincoln, and nodded to him briefly before looking up at Tem from where he sat at the Chancellor's box.
The look on his face was one of mixed emotions, yet he seemed to quickly blanket them with a calm mask as he stood from his seat. "Lexa Woods of Starfleet has incapacitated Melkar, and as such, the Ushaan can no longer be completed." He met her cold gaze briefly and directed his words to her. "You may take your officer and go." He signaled to the guards standing at the side of the ring, and they stepped forward to remove the bounds around Lexa and Melkar.
Once Lexa was untied, Nyko rushed forward to examine the wound on her left side. She made an attempt to swat his hands away, but a stern glare had her pause her actions, allowing the medical officer begrudgingly to attend to it.
"It won't need stitches." He announced. "It resembles a slightly bigger paper cut." Lexa snorted, and shoved him away by the shoulder.
"Great, so stop fussing over me." Lincoln walked over, an arm holding Bellamy upright. The injured man looked at Lexa with reverence, the eye that was not swollen gazing at her without contempt, as it had yesterday.
"Captain, thank you." He said, dipping his head low to her respectfully – albeit begrudgingly. She simply shrugged her shoulders at him.
"It is what any other officer would have done." She remarked, before turning to Nyko. The medical officer handed her uniform over to her, and she shrugged it on quickly. The material was warm and comforting against her skin, and she tapped on her badge to activate its communication capability. "This is Captain Woods to the Washington, beam us up."
At the forefront of her mind, Lexa wondered if Clarke would answer her if she tried to contact her once they got back to the ship.