Chapter Text
"And this is the Watchtower!" Superman gestured to the modern satellite, mostly for his unimpressed guests' benefit.
"Wooow," Tony Stark, AKA Iron Man AKA Supreme-Pain-In-The-Ass, said in the most exaggerated tone of voice that he could muster, once he exited the zeta tube.
Natasha Romanov, AKA as Black Widow simply raised an eyebrow that conveyed more than a million words.
"Umm, excuse, Stark," Steve, Captain America himself apologized for his teammate's rudeness.
"No worries, wait 'till you meet Batman!" Superman replied with all of his faux-cheerfulness and All-American charm.
"Isn't he supposed to be all broody and all?"
"Yep."
"Can't wait!"
"So this is the control room, and that person over there with the dark and dreary fashion sense who, additionally looks all broody is the Batman! You could probably tell, with the scowl and the cowl!"
The Batman grunted as he was introduced to the Avengers, and he continued to stare intently at the computer screen, much to Tony's annoyance. "Yo Batman! Anybody there?" Tony turned to face the others, "Ummm, guys, I think we've been swindled, no way that's an actual person under that scowl - I meant cowl! That's probably some kind of robot or something, so yeah, sorry, show's over, lets go meet actual people!" with that, Tony spun on his heel and started towards the exit.
"Tony - " Steve began as he grabbed Tony by his collar.
"Hey, watch your hands Capsicle! I mean, I know you like Armani and all, but there's no need to try and tear it off of me!" Tony slapped Steve's hand away and began poking rather determinedly at Batman's form. "Look! No way that there is actually somebody underneath all that," Tony waved to the hulking figure that was the Batman.
Out of nowhere, Batman grabbed Tony's hand and twisted - Tony was suddenly being choked by the arm that was previously poking Batman. "Will you please stop that incessant poking?" Batman demanded in his trademark growly growl.
"Nope!" Tony replied cheerfully.
"That's lovely."
"I know! Right? Everybody always says that! I chalk it all up to my people-y charm!"
"That's fantastic!" A thin, lithe figure in a black, skintight uniform with light blue stripes forming a bird flipped off of the rafters that it was previously perched on to land right in front of Tony, obviously shocking the billionaire.
"Whoa! What is this? The circus?"
The figure winced a nearly imperceptible bit, before holding out his gloved hand, "Nightwing, Batman's first son, and awesomeness incarnate, pleasure to meet you Mister Tin and Pyrite!"
Natasha cackled at Tony's shocked reactions and hurt expression.
Nightwing sidled up to Natasha and inquired, "Now, what's a nice girl like you doing with this group of buffoons, and in such a place?!"
Natasha's smirked, much resembling the Cheshire Cat, "Well," she drawled, "I could say the same for you..."
Nightwing recoiled dramatically, "My lady, you wound me!"
"I'm nobody's lady," She snapped.
"You say that -"
Nightwing obviously did not know when to give up, as he continued to flirt with her to no avail, much to his chagrin. Eventually, though, Natasha tired of his attempts to "woo" her, and after a particularly disastrous attempt that invoked her femininity, she kneed him in the groin before stalking off.
Silence descended on the room of spectators who were observing the unfolding scene with mixtures of enjoyment, pain, embarrassment, and joy. Nightwing after falling from the impact of the strike, popped back up and asked: "So, is that a rain check for the date?"