Chapter Text
Severus was the perfect husband. He remembered every anniversary or important event better than her, he took care of the house chores and child caring, even though he was working one of the most demanding and hard jobs, he supported her and was almost always nice to her, even when she was before her period and was rather bitchy.
A couple of days ago at the office Lily had a talk with her friends about sexually satisfying their husbands and how annoying it was to be open to their needs. She couldn’t relate at all. She never said “no” in bed to her husband. Her friends thought that it was because she was afraid he is going to leave her, but it wasn’t it. Lily just couldn’t look into his dark, good eyes and reject him.
After four years of sleeping together Severus knew all about Lily’s moods, about the things she liked and things she didn’t like. He could look at her and sense if she wants to have sex. He noticed she never said no to him, but he also knew that sometimes she was having the orgasms of her life and sometimes she laid in bed rather bored with him on top and barely moaned. He always felt weird after having bad sex with her, but she was still nice and tender towards him when they laid in bed together, so he didn’t feel he hurt her.
And in fact, Lily liked their sex even when she couldn’t really come. It was still nice to be hugged by him, listen to his heavy breathing and feeling his scent. He was just a really good lover. And a good partner. He made sure she was well rested, that she ate well and she was comfortable.
Lily found it sweet that he always spoils her after she had sex with him. He gifted her with some little jewelry or clothes or some treats or flowers. She knew it was maybe pretentious or weird that he felt the need to reward her for letting him fuck her. However, she knew he didn’t have any bad intentions in doing it. He was just grateful and gifts were his love language. He was happy he was able to afford to spoil his wonderful wife.
Maybe the reason why Lily was also happy and open to have sex with him was because she was touch starved.
He still had so many issues with his body and intimacy. It was sometimes better, sometimes worse, but she didn’t see any improvement. The most she saw his naked body was when sometimes he changed or took off his sweater and his shirt rolled under. Sometimes she also got a chance to see his dick, but it was rare. Most of the time he didn’t want to undress and he only liked to be touched on his face and hair, and he occasionally liked when she scratched his back through his shirt (a couple of times he let her touch his back under the shirt to scratch it, but it was only after he was in a really good mood without any depressive episodes in the last weeks).
She was able to get the most intimacy from him when they were having sex. She also fantasized about his body a lot because of the fact that he was hiding from her so much. She imagined him naked under in the shower, jerking off, wet, hot. Sometimes she had fantasies about him using force with her. He never did that, probably because he was afraid of hurting her or feeling like a predator, but she really wanted him one day to just playfully fight with her and dominate her. She also had a lot of fantasies about touching him publicly. He hated it. He never took her hand when they were seen publicly. He probably wanted to have more respect and authority and didn’t want his image of a dark, mysterious and powerful man be crushed by his wife touching him like a teenage girl in love.
Lily opened her eyes precisely on 8:00. She didn’t have her alarm on, because it was Saturday, but she still woke up on the same hour every day. It was a habit for her. She was cold, because it was early January and there was a lot of snow outside, so she moved under her blankets to warm herself up.
“Good morning,” she heard her husband’s low raspy voice.
“Mmm” she muttered in response.
Severus still was waking up at 5:00 or earlier. He didn’t know how to change it. It was out of his control. Lily ordered him to just lay in bed with her until she waked up and rest, but he never did it. He would die out of boredom. He just sat at his office and worked until like 7:30, then he came back to the bed and he pretended he laid with her.
“How did my little creature slept tonight?” he asked with care.
“Is Harry all right?” she asked back, making sure the boy sleeps.
“I checked on him,” he comforted her.
“Thank you. It was good, just cold,” she groaned and yawned.
“I can make it warmer if you want. I can turn on the heat,” he offered.
“Then it’s going to be hard to breath, I hate when it’s stuffy,” she said.
He laughed, because he had dirty mind. Or maybe he just wanted her and anything she said sounded ambiguously.
“You like when it’s warm, you like when it’s hard to breath and you like when it’s stuffy,” he whispered into her ear and she shivered.
“Insinuations,” she responded and waited for his first move.
He got closer and started caressing her body under the covers. She exhaled and felt relieved. It was so pleasurable to feel his warm and big hands on her.
“Sev, what if Harry wakes up?” she said.
He casted a spell to make the room soundproof and to lock the doors.
“He is going to sit on his bed and play with his toys, don’t worry,” he said and cupped her breasts.
She moaned, because her nipples were hard from the cold and she was really sensitive there. His mouth watered from hearing her sighs. He grabbed her body and started grinding his dick against her ass while massaging her clit and pressing her close to him. Her body became more and more relaxed and obedient in his hands.
“Oh, please, don’t stop,” she gasped desperately and put her hand on his.
Lily was ready to sacrifice every ounce of her dignity for the pleasure she had from being fingered by him. It was so nice to be hugged by him and feel his warmth on her back. She clenched her fingers on his forearm and cried from pleasure while orgasming hard and uncontrollably. She moaned from the sensation and sighed.
Her husband was a gentleman, she always came first.
She turned back and kissed him hard on his lips, pulling him on top of her. He took off her silky nightgown and started kissing her neck greedily. She played with his hair (she knew he was comfortable with that kind of touch, sometimes when she tried to slip her hands under his shirt he fucked her while keeping her hands above her head, it was not nice) and waited for him to take out his dick from his trousers and start fucking her.
“Do you want it?” he whispered in her ear.
“I beg you,” she said and pushed her hips towards him to prove her eagerness.
It was always such a relief for both of them when he put it in her for the first seconds. Lily felt satisfying pressure on her walls stretching for him, and Severus felt so good inside her warm and completely wet cunt.
She was always impressed with how long he was able to last while fucking her. Lily enjoyed every moment of it. She closed her eyes and started fantasizing about him. She had this image in her head of jerking him off under the table during some official Ministry diner. She licked her lips slowly and she listened in his groans and heavy breathing. She had an obsession with his dick. It was big, smooth and so fucking perfect. She hated the fact that he almost never let her touch it with her hand. She had this urge to touch his crotch so often. She loved it when he wore trousers that were tight enough to show the outline of his cock.
Severus sometimes peeked inside her mind while fucking her to just make sure that she isn’t thinking about someone else but him, and as always, he was nicely surprised that she fantasized about him again. He smirked and grabbed her breast to knead it. It was a good feeling to feel wanted by someone, but it was an amazing feeling to be wanted by Lily. He still couldn’t process the fact that she was so into him.
“Such a nice girl,” he said and kissed her behind the ear.
She shivered and laughed.
“Are you satisfied with me?” she asked, knowing he searched through her mind.
“You are so perverted and seem so innocent,” he muttered under her breath.
“Someone has to be,” she responded and tightened her pussy on him.
He kissed her lips and focused on fucking her hard and fast. He came after a couple of long and precise thrusts and laid on her for some time. She stroked his hair while he tried to calm his breath. She loved those weekends with lazy mornings.
He came off her and fixed his clothes to cover him properly. He always wore black soft pants from some rich and thick material with long sleeved shirt and cotton jumper. Lily loved this domestic and cozy Severus more than she liked him in his normal formal attire.
Lily reached on the bedtable and grabbed her cigarettes. At the beginning she hated that Severus smoked, but after some time with him and after working in the Ministry she started smoking herself, because everybody was doing it. Every week he gave her the potion to minimize the negative effects, so she didn’t worry about her health. She lit a skinny menthol cigarette and relaxed.
Severus watched her amazed. He loved looking at her when she was smoking. It was so erotic. He felt warmth spilling inside him. He wasn’t finished. He leaned towards her and started kissing her breasts.
“Sev, fuck,” she gasped and exhaled smoke.
He always did it. He wasn’t able to finish until she was screaming and in pain from all the sensations. He went lower and lower with his mouth and Lily knew what was he trying to do. She rested her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. She snapped her fingers to turn on her radio. She loved listening to music while he licked her. She finished the cigarette and tossed the butt on the ashtray.
“I know you want it, you are just afraid to ask,” he said.
Lily laughed.
“Yes, I’m so shy,” she said and gasped when he licked her.
She run her fingers into his hair and started scratching his scalp just how he liked while pressing his mouth more and more towards her clit. His tongue was unreal. Lily didn’t even like oral sex before she had it with him. She joked that it was because he was the first Slytherin that she fucked.
“God, bloody fucking hell,” she muttered under her breath and threw her hips up to get more pleasure from his mouth.
He grabbed her thighs hard because she was moving too much and started fucking her hard with his tongue. At first it was nice and pleasurable, but after some time her clit was so sensitive she thought it’s going to explode. He counted her orgasms meticulously and pushed her harder and harder for another one and another one, until she was almost sobbing and her voice was hoarse.
“Get the fuck off me, God, I’m not going to uh again-” she gasped and pulled his head away. His lips were plumped and his eyes were bright. He loved doing it so much.
He let her go, wiped his mouth and laid down next to her feeling fulfilled. He grabbed his cigarettes and started smoking while Lily clung to him with her naked body. He wrapped her in blankets to keep her warm and she listened to his heartbeat. She took a quick nap because being fucked like this was tiring. She woke up hearing her sons weak cries.
“Harry,” she said to Severus.
He could swear she had some other sense when it came to her son. He couldn’t hear a thing, but he stood up and went to his room, and it turned out she was right. Harry was sitting on his bed and sobbing. When he noticed Severus approaching him, he stretched out his hands for him.
“Mom,” was the one thing that he said and the man understood.
Lily changed into a long cotton dress and was waiting for the boy in their bed.
“Who woke up?” she said and smiled and the boy almost jumped out of Severus’ hands towards her.
She wasn’t a perfect mother. Severus would never tell her that, but he thought that she should spend more time with her son and pay more attention to him. But it was fair, she warned him that she didn’t want her life to revolve around her kid. She wanted to be more free, meet her friends and do fun things. Meanwhile kids are demanding, sometimes boring and they are hard work. He took this hard work on himself.
That’s why sometimes he felt like he was the “bad” parent: keeping Harry disciplined, feeding him, teaching him rules. All those things were so frustrating to Lily that after doing them she was angry and exhausted. So she rarely did them and she spent time with Harry playing, reading stories and running around the house.
The truth was: Lily wasn’t really that mature. She could jump and joke with the kid, while Severus was standing somewhere observing. That’s why Harry loved Lily more. She was the “fun” parent. He associated her with playing and fun and warmth and giggles, while Severus was making sure he ate and wasn’t cold.
Lily hugged the boy and wiped his tears.
“Another bad dream? Huh?” she asked and kissed his forehead.
The boy nodded.
“You were afraid because you were locked in the room and you didn’t hear mommy or daddy?” she asked again and hugged him.
“Yes,” the boy said and felt relaxed. His mother was warm and soft and she smelled like soap and lavender.
Severus loved to just stand observe them. She was so emotionally gentle and responsive to her son. He always imagined that she talks to him like that and that she is as tender and careful with his feeling as she is with Harry’s. He wasn’t jealous. He just wanted to relieve his childhood again with her love and care. Maybe one day he will be able to open up to her completely without the fear that she will think of him as weak.
Lily and Harry both decided they are hungry so the three of them went to the kitchen to eat. Their house elf, Dobby, was a gift from Malfoys. He was sitting on the table and reading a cookbook.
“Good morning,” Lily said and sat Harry on his special seat.
Severus ordered the elf to make them eggs and bacon and he opened his newspaper. Lily did the same with her Muggle newspapers she had to read for work. When they started eating Severus sat next to Harry to feed him.
“I want to go to the zoo today!” the boy said.
“We can’t, we have to go the event, Harry. And then we will take your mother shopping because she needs a new bracelet,” Severus said and smiled to Lily.
Lily smiled back and Harry frowned hard at her. She noticed it so she laughed and sticked out her tongue to mess with him. Before Severus had a chance to intervene, Harry spitted his scrambled eggs on the floor.
“What the fuck, Lily!” Severus stood up angry at her behavior.
She was so immature.
Poor Dobby was cleaning the floor, while Harry screamed:
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”
Lily rolled her eyes.
“Ohh what a perfect parent, teaching a kid how to swear! We have to clean his fucking memory again!” she said accusingly.
“It’s your son, Lily, have some-“ he started.
“Don’t use this fact against me! You are on his birth certificate too!” she snapped.
Severus made a confused face to her. She was able to twist everything.
“Okay, enough,” he said in his authoritative, cold and despotic voice. Harry stopped swearing, Lily stopped screaming and Dobby stopped cleaning.
He wiped Harry’s memory of the last 5 minutes and kissed Lily hard.
“Let’s not argue, okay?” he said.
Severus had this obsession with not fighting in front of their son. She thought it was stupid, because she wanted Harry to have a realistic view of relationships, but she also knew that her husband had a lot of traumatic memories with his parents arguing, so she gave up on the case.
“Okay,” she said and smiled.
Severus sat and went back to feeding Harry.
Lily was really grateful that he took care of the kid. She really wasn’t ready to live with a toddler. They divided the duties for the ones that required discipline and authority and those that required warmth and playfulness. For some reason Severus was never too physical with the kid. He never hugged Harry spontaneously or kissed him. She wasn’t mad at him for it, she just wandered, if it was because Harry was biologically James’ son, or was it because Severus just had issues with touching in general. She never asked. James was a tabu topic between them. They still had no idea when or how tell Harry about his biological father. They never spoke his name in front of their son.
Right now they had other things in mind. Today was a big day at the Ministry: Voldemort celebrated the birthday of his great great great grandfather Salazar Slytherin. His Death Eaters with families were required to attend. Every Wizard and Witch was expected to be there. For Harry it was the first time he is going to be making a public appearance.
Lily always dressed in Slytherin colors publicly. She even changed her hair color to be more dark and less ginger. She wanted to appear as in line with the new establishment as possible so Severus didn’t have any problems. She was also deathly afraid of Voldemort. She didn’t quite understand the relationship her husband had with the Dark Lord. She was happy they were still in his favor.
When it came to dressing Harry she opted for black warm clothes to make him look like Severus. She suspected they should change his face to look more similar to Severus, but honestly, she didn’t think anyone is going to pay much attention to the kid today.
The ceremony was held in the fields near the Hogwarts castle. When Severus teleported them there, they headed straight to the stage where there were seats for them. Lily kissed Narcissa on the cheek and they sat together chatting. The day was beautiful, sunny, but really cold. Lily felt waves of nostalgia while seeing her school again. She smiled to her husband with love.
“See, Harry! You are going to go here to study soon,” Severus said and pointed to the castle. It was covered in snow and beautiful.
Lucius picked Draco up and also showed him the building.
“Want to go to school with Harry?” he smiled to his son and then to his best friend.
“I can’t wait for their first year together!” Narcissa said.
“Me too. Although I don’t know how will I be able to not see my son for so long,” Lily sighed.
“Oh, Lily. They are going to have fun. Remember your first year? It’s so nice to relive this experience with our kids,” Cissy smiled.
The ceremony was about to start. There were more and more people at the Hogwarts grounds. Lily felt some kind of excitement. When Voldemort approached, she bowed down and was afraid to even look at him. She knew something was off with his health. He was changed. She couldn’t explain it, but he looked more and more like his pet snake, Nagini, that he carried everywhere with him. When she saw him for the first time he was charismatic and handsome, now he was just weird and rather scary. But she never discussed it with her husband.
She looked at the people from the stage. She froze. Maybe it was her paranoia, but she could swear to god, she saw James Potter and Sirius Black. She frowned and hugged her son close.
“Sev, honey, I think… I…” she said with shaking voice.
“What is it, my love?” he asked.
“I saw James and Sirius,” she said anxiously.
“Where?” his face changed and Lily was afraid of him for a second. He really hated James and Sirius with passion.
She pointed in the audience. He squinted his eyes and saw them too. His heart started beating faster. Harry turned around and showed his face to the people in the audience and both Lily and Severus saw James Potter taking his wand out of his cape.
“Sectumsempra!” Severus shouted and pointed his wand at James, hiding Voldemort with his body.
James made a quick dodge and the curse hit some civilian. The blood splashed everywhere and people started panicking.
The Death Eaters started all casting curses in the directions of two men. The ceremony became a huge mess. Lily hugged Harry and hid with Narcissa. Suddenly they heard a big explosion and the big Salazar Slytherin statue that Voldemort put at the front of Hogwarts was destroyed. Lily quickly decided to teleport with Narcissa and their kids to the Malfoys’ manor.
Being a mother was a funny experience, because Lily wasn’t afraid for her life even a bit. She was only worried about Harry. She hoped that Harry didn’t see the blood and wasn’t scared by the explosion. She wanted to cry and scream and do something, but she knew that it would make Harry afraid, so she was calm. She noticed Narcissa did the same thing. She noticed how she rocked back and forth while hugging little Draco close to her chest. She was just as frightened as Lily was.
Boys were in shock, but they were rather okay. They asked about their fathers. Lily and Narcissa looked at each other scared, but they reassured their sons that everything is going to be okay. They sat together in the room with a fireplace and house elves brought them hot chocolate with pastry.
Lily and Narcissa were too traumatized to eat, but the boys loved the treats and started eating and playing together with Draco’s toys. Lily rested her head on Narcissa’s shoulder and sighed. The older woman hugged her.
They understood each other without words.