Chapter Text
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TG: yo do these freckles look weird to you like what the hell is this my freckles are masterpieces but this is ridiculous just aint looking right
[TG] sent file forrealwhatisthis.jpg
TG: those are weird right
TG: if anyone would know it would be you karkat you know these things better than i do
TG: by these things i mean my tits of course
CG: YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME THAT THESE WEIRD FRECKLES WERE ON YOUR RUMBLE SPHERES. JUST A LITTLE HEADS UP, PERHAPS A, "HEY KARKAT CAN I SEND YOU A PICTURE OF MY HUMAN TITS THAT DEFINITELY JUST HAVE CRUMBS ON THEM AND NOT WEIRD FRECKLES? I NEED TO KNOW IF THE CRUMB FRECKLES LOOK WEIRD TO YOU AND HAVE NO IDEA IF YOU MIGHT BE AROUND OTHER PEOPLE THAT COULD POTENTIALLY SEE THIS STUPID PICTURE UNWITTINGLY."
TG: i would not say unwittingly lol
CG: THAT IS SO BEYOND THE POINT THAT IT ISN'T EVEN REMOTELY IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS THE POINT.
TG: do you really think theyre crumbs though i think i would know if they were crumbs what do you take me for
TG: i come to you for reassurance and you just dismiss me whats up with that what if theyre like cancerous moles or something karkat what are you going to do then are you still gonna be worried about looking at tit pics in public
TG: which btw i know you are not in public youre locked in your office writing porn or something
TG: you wont let me read it so im just going to assume its porn until you show me what it actually is
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS A MOLE?
CG: ACTUALLY, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
CG: RUB THE "WEIRD FRECKLES" AND SEE IF THEY COME OFF.
CG: I'M BEGINNING TO DOUBT THAT YOU WERE EVEN WORRIED ABOUT THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. IF THIS IS JUST A RUSE TO GET ME AWAY FROM MY WORK, WHICH IS VERY MUCH NOT PORN BY THE WAY, YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ME AT ALL.
TG: i would never use my tits to try and fool you karkat who do you think i am
CG: YOU ABSOLUTELY WOULD.
CG: DID THE FRECKLES COME OFF?
TG: maybe
CG: WERE THEY CRUMBS?
TG: who can really say the nature of this mysterious material that found its way onto my body
TG: maybe they were detachable freckles
CG: THAT IS VERY MUCH NOT A THING.
TG: you dont even know what a mole is how would you know
CG: I DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT A MOLE IS TO KNOW THAT FRECKLES AREN'T DETACHABLE!
TG: you know what karkat maybe we are talking about the wrong thing here were focusing too much on the maybe freckles maybe toast crumbs
TG: maybe we should rewind a little bit
TG: metaphorically im not rewinding time over this shit that would be too much even for me
TG: did you seriously call my titpics stupid what the hell is that about
TG: i dont call your titpics stupid
CG: I'VE NEVER SENT YOU "TITPICS".
TG: maybe we should change that
TG: awful rude that youre keeping them all to yourself
CG: YOU'VE LITERALLY SEEN THEM BEFORE. MULTIPLE TIMES. I DON'T KEEP THEM TO MYSELF.
CG: BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT. I'M FEELING GENEROUS TODAY.
[CG] sent file NOWLEAVEMEALONEANDLETMEWORK.jpg
TG: im gonna be honest with you here i was expecting that to be a picture of you flipping me off or something but wow
TG: did you just take that in your office the lighting in there is way better than our bedroom what the fuck
TG: let me in i clearly need to start taking pictures in there instead
CG: NO.
CG: LET ME FUCKING FINISH WHAT I'M WORKING ON AND MAYBE I'LL LET YOU IN HERE LATER.
TG: fiiine
TG: just gonna sit here all lonely with this single glorious picture of your tits gonna frame it maybe leave some lipstick marks on it who knows what the two of us will get up to
CG: HAVE FUN WITH THAT.
TG: oh i will lol
TG: can i come use your printer i cant frame my phone that would be kind of ridiculous i only have the one
carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now an idle chum!
TG: fine but next time you need to get ahold of me and you cant because my phone is squished in between some glass and shitty fake wood dont come crying to me