Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The soft tap, tap, tap of the keys on the keyboard was the only sound that filled the room, empty save for two men and a line of computer monitors. The chain linking the two men together rattled ever so slightly every now and then, and every time it did, the younger man looked up from his computer. The other hardly seemed to notice, his eyes fixed on the screen as he continued to type away furiously.

The younger man looked down at his watch. 1:24. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, turning to look at the other man.

“Ryuzaki,” he said. The other man paused in his typing, but his gaze firmly remained forward. It wasn’t until his name was repeated, this time with an undertone of exasperation, that Ryuzaki, that L, looked away to meet the other’s eyes.

“Yes, Light?” he asked, in that same monotone voice that always made him sound bored. Light, however, knew better. He’d learned to recognize the other indicators of L’s state. Like the way his left hand still hovered above the keyboard, his fingers twitching like they hadn’t gotten the memo that L had stopped typing. Or the way his leg was bouncing up and down like a race runner waiting for the starting pistol. Or the way L’s eyes darted around, never quite making contact with Light’s own. Or the way his shoulders were tensed up, making it seem that L had curled into a ball.

In short, L was restless. Frustrated.

And Light could hardly blame him. Besides the ties between this new Kira and Yotsuba, there weren’t any real leads to follow. L had been getting like this more frequently. The old Kira had always been doing something, had kept L on his toes, never let him rest. But this new Kira was so different. He was barely even trying to hide his identity. At this point, it was clear that he was someone at Yotsuba, or at the very least someone aligned with them.

If I were Kira, I wouldn’t be this careless.

Light shook his head. Don’t think that. He wasn’t Kira. He couldn’t be. L had said it himself; it was highly unlikely Kira could have done everything he did unconsciously.

“Light?” L repeated, pulling Light back to reality. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Light said. “Sorry, I got lost in thought for a moment. I was going to say that it’s getting late. We should probably go to sleep, and continue this in the morning.” L stared a Light for a long moment, then turned back to the computer. Light had to suppress a groan.

“You can sleep,” L said, resuming his typing. Light bit back a sigh. He wasn’t sure why he expected anything else. This was L, after all.

“Not if you’re still here,” Light argued, lifting up the chain that tied the two together. “You haven’t forgotten about this, have you? It was your idea, after all.” L didn’t respond, just continued typing. He’s childish and he hates losing. L’s words flooded Light’s mind. L hadn’t tried to hide the fact that he thought Kira to be almost exactly like him. It unnerved Light to no end.

Well, if L wasn’t going to play fair, then neither was Light. He quickly took in L’s frame. He was frightfully skinny, even if he was stronger than he looked. As Light had learned the hard way.

Still, he should be light enough…

He could do this.

Light rose from his chair. L didn’t seem to even notice as he approached. That was, until Light picked up L in one fell swoop and lifted him into his arms, bridal style.

The look of utter shock on L’s face alone made this worth it to Light. L was even lighter than he’d expected, and concern briefly pricked at his heart.

“Light?” L asked, and the concern was replaced with satisfaction. L was completely caught off guard. The way his eyes had widened just ever so slightly was almost cute. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Light challenged. “Come on, you’re smart enough for this.” L squeezed his eyes shut, and Light took the chance to begin walking to the room he and L shared.

“Light,” L said, his eyes still closed. God, Light would never forget that small tremble in L’s voice, the crack in his composure. “I need to keep working.”

“You need to sleep,” Light argued, adjusting L’s weight so he was more comfortable to carry. It was almost too easy, and the concern for the detective returned.

“If I sleep now,” L said. “There’s a high chance I might forget something in the morning.”

“You’re not going to forget anything,” Light retorted. “You never do.” L sighed and finally opened his eyes.

“Flattery isn’t going to help you here, Light,” L asserted. Light flashed his award-winning smile, the one that always had girls swooning. But L, however, only rolled his eyes. “That won’t work either.”

The two continued bickering as Light climbed the steps and reached their bedroom. Luckily for him, it had been left a crack open. Light nudged the door fully open with his shoulder, careful about the man in his arms, then shut the door in the same manner. He briefly considered locking the door, but figured he didn’t want anyone else on the Task Force jumping to conclusions. This already looked too romantic as it was.

“I don’t need to be carried, Light. I’m not a child,” L muttered under his breath. Despite his words, L made no attempt to free himself, and Light grinned as he realized that L had accepted defeat.

“You act like one,” Light said, and L didn’t respond.

There was an unmistakeable possessiveness in the way Light held L as he carried him to the bed they had to share. Neither man missed it, but neither commented on it.

L sighed as he was set onto the bed. To Light’s delight, L remained where Light had placed him.

“What were you working on anyways?” Light asked as he climbed into the bed himself. “It didn’t seem like research.”

“You are partially correct,” L said, turning to face Light. “I was not conducting current research. I was recording everything that has happened. Think of it as a contingency, of sorts. It is very likely that I will wind up dead very soon, so I am leaving a record of everything that has happened for whoever takes the lead of the Kira investigation after my death.”

Light’s heart dropped, and he froze. It is very likely that I will wind up dead.

Dead? What is he talking about?!

“Ryuzaki,” he whispered, unable to keep the waiver from his voice. “Don’t say things like that.” L turned away from Light, avoiding his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” L said, “but I can’t lie to you, Light.” Light stared at L for a few more minutes. He can’t be serious, right? Then again, L was never the kind of person to joke around.

“Ryuzaki?” Light asked softly. He reached out and touched L’s shoulder, beckoning him to turn around. L didn’t react. “Do you really think you’re going to die soon?” L sighed, still not facing Light.

“There is about a 15 percent chance that I will be dead within the next two weeks,” he said. “And about a 20 percent chance that it will be due to Kira. 1 percent that it will be due to the new Kira, 2 percent that it will be due to Second Kira, and a 10 percent chance that it will be-” L cut himself off. Light didn’t push. A 10 percent chance that it will be me.

“L…,” Light started.

“I know, I know,” L said, curling away from Light. “You’re not Kira.”

“That’s… actually not what I was going to say,” Light said. L finally turned around, his confusion evident. “I was going to say that I will do anything in my power to keep you safe,” Light said. L smiled, a bittersweet look to it that crushed Light’s heart.

“Well,” L said, his tone unwavering. “That is very sweet of you, Light.” Without hesitation, Light pulled L into a tight hug.

“Please,” Light whispered. “Don’t leave me.” Light heard L’s breath catch in his throat, and felt his arms slowly wrap around Light. There was something defensive about it, like he thought he could protect Light from the pains of the world by pulling him closer. At the very least, that was the feeling it gave Light. He felt truly safe here, for the first time since all the Kira stuff had started.

“I won’t,” L choked out. I can’t lie to you, Light. Light buried his face into the crook of L’s neck, releasing a long exhale. He was safe. He knew it, as L whispered two words to Light as they both drifted off to sleep.

“I promise.”

Chapter Text

Light slowly opened his eyes. Sunlight streamed in from the window, probably what had woken him.

Or maybe, less romantically, it was the incessant clicking of a keyboard right next to his ear.

“Ryuzaki,” Light groaned, not even having to turn his head to know the culprit. The typing didn’t stop, but L responded.

“Good morning, Light,” he said. Light sighed.

“How many hours of sleep did you get last night?” he asked. The typing paused for a moment.

“Two hours,” L said after a long pause. “Maybe three.”

“And if I check the security cameras, will they corroborate that?” Light muttered, half to himself. He heard L let out a soft chuckle.

“Yes,” he said.

“Did you alter the footage at all?” Light asked. He finally turned his head to look up at L. He was sitting on the bed, crouched over his laptop. However, he wasn’t looking at the screen. For once, L was looking directly at Light. A gentle smile painted his face, and it sent warmth flooding to Light’s heart and cheeks.

“You wound me, Light!” L said sarcastically. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Don’t you trust me?” Light retorted with a grin. He hadn’t meant it as more than a joke, but L’s smile fell, and he dropped his gaze back to the computer screen.

“Sorry,” L muttered, returning to his work. Light frowned, but didn’t pursue it. Maybe that’ll make him more suspicious of me. Light shook the thought from his mind. These days, it didn’t seem like Light could do anything to reduce L’s suspicion of him.

Light pushed himself to sit up.

“How’d you get that?” Light asked, gesturing to the laptop. “I know you didn’t bring it in last night, and it’s not like you could have left to get it.”

“Watari brought it for me,” L said. He didn’t take his eyes off the screen, but Light got the feeling he was glad to change the topic. “I believe he saw that I had woken up and thought I might be bored.”

“I know you hardly do, but does Watari ever sleep?” Light asked, trying lighten the mood.

“He certainly has a more consistent sleep than I do,” L said. Light laughed and nudged L with his shoulder.

“And by that, you mean he actually has a sleep schedule, right?” he teased. L huffed, but Light saw the smile that crossed his face.

It had been easier than usual for Light to pull L away from his research. Maybe it was because of Aiber and Wedy’s appearance, or maybe it was because L had finally realized that it was impossible to dissuade Misa once she had her mind set on something. All it had really taken was Misa tugging on Light’s arm a bit, and a quick glance from Light himself, for L to agree to leave his station.

The remaining members of the Task Force, including the two new additions, watched them leave.

“That poor girl,” Mogi said with a sigh. “She’s going to get her heart broken if she doesn’t come back to reality soon.”

“Huh?” Matsuda turned to Mogi. “What do you mean?”

“It’s obvious to everyone that Light-kun doesn’t spare any true feelings for Amane-san,” Mogi said. “Except for Amane-san herself, apparently. I think the only reason Light-kun goes along with it is to spare her feelings.”

“Sometimes I wish he didn’t,” Soichiro whispered, so quiet no one else seemed to hear him.

“Yes, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?” The trio startled as Aiber spoke. He and Wedy seemed to have understood that they weren’t fully trusted yet, and they’d chosen to lean against the opposite wall to where Soichiro, Matsuda, and Mogi sat on the couch. Even from that distance, a gleam was visible in Aiber’s eye, one that none of the trio trusted.

“What are you talking about?” Soichiro asked. Aiber smirked.

“Light Yagami is your son, correct?” he asked. Slowly, Soichiro nodded. “Tell me, then, has Light ever shown a real interest in girls? Or in women?”

“Well,” Soichiro responded, a hesitancy in his voice. He exchanged a glance with his other two ex-cops, all wondering the same thing. Where is this going? “Not really, I suppose. We’ve already been over Amane-san, and he’s been on a few dates here and there, but never something that lasted.” Aiber smiled, clearly expecting that answer.

“That settles it, then,” Wedy said. She, too, has a strange gleam in her eye. “You know, I never thought that Ryuzaki would ever actually fall for someone.”

“Me neither,” Aiber agreed, his smile widening. “But the moment he meets someone else like him-”

“-he’s falling head over heels for him,” Wedy finished, adding a small laugh.

“What are you talking about?” Soichiro asked. Though, even as he asked the question, he had a sneaking feeling that he already knew the answer to it. That he’d known the answer all along.

“Isn’t it obvious?” It was Matsuda who spoke up that time. He had a matching gleam to the one Aiber and Wedy shared, like he was suddenly in on this tiny secret. Mogi whispered something under his breath, something about “not obvious to the rest of us”.

“In case it’s not, Mr. Yagami and Mr. Mogi,” Aiber said, “Light and Ryuzaki are in love. It should be abundantly clear. If you’re paying attention, that is.”

“Every time Misa gets physically close to Light,” Wedy added, clearly enjoying the looks of shock on Mogi and Soichiro’s faces, “Ryuzaki acts like a jealous girlfriend. Stops whatever he’s doing and just stares at the two of them. At the same time, Light is always looking back at Ryuzaki, like he needs permission to be near his own “girlfriend”.”

“If they’re not together in some way,” Aiber finished, “then they probably will be soon.”

Up in Misa’s room, which was becoming an increasingly common spot for Light and L to end up in, silence hung heavy in the room. Misa sat pouting, staring at L. L himself was staring at the wall, absentmindedly biting at the edge of his thumbnail. Light fought back the urge to tell him to stop. There wasn’t any food in Misa’s room this time, which had been L’s only true source of entertainment in past “hangouts”. That was, unless giving odd glances over to Light every now and then was entertaining for him. Given everything he knew about the man, Light doubted that it didn’t.

Misa huffed and pointedly turned away from glaring daggers at L. L didn’t seem to notice, his gaze fixed at a single point on the wall. Light fought back a groan. If he didn’t do something to relieve this tension soon, he might explode.

Light cleared his throat.

“So, Misa-chan,” he said, internally cringing at the way Misa perked up when he said her name, “weren’t you on a film set yesterday? How did it go?”

“Oh, I’m so glad you asked, Light!” Misa said gleefully. Light expected an under-the-breath “finally”, but it didn’t come. Light knew it was due to L’s presence. “We were filming that scene where me and what’s-his-face meet in the coffee shop, and everything was going fine until the director said that we didn’t have enough “chemistry” or whatever, so I told him that obviously I couldn’t do that with another man, because I have a boyfriend, duh, but then everyone got really mad at me and I really don’t understand why because it makes perfect sense that I wouldn’t want to do something intimate with another guy when, again, I have a boyfriend. But then one of the other actresses on step got all huffy and said something about me not auditioning for a role I couldn’t play, or something like that, which was obviously just because she’s jealous that I got the lead and she didn’t, and she’s been like that since the very first day, so I-”

Light let his attention slide away from Misa’s rambling and towards L. He was still sitting in that same, completely still pose. It scared Light, got under his skin. It wasn’t like the stillness in L when he’d been overwhelmed by Kira’s power shifting. This was different, like L was trying his very best to block out the world around him. Light wanted to reach out at touch L, coax him back to the present, ask him what was on his mind.

But he couldn’t do that with Misa present.

“-absolutely ridiculous. Light, are you even listening to me?!” Light startled back to Misa’s story at the sound of his name. He hesitated just long enough for an answer to be unnecessary, and Misa crossed her arms and threw herself back on the couch.

“You’re supposed to be my boyfriend, Light, but you can’t even pay attention to me?” she lamented. Light bit back the “I never wanted to be” that always rested on his tongue when Misa talked about them dating.

“I’m sorry, Misa-chan,” Light said, keeping his tone soft to soothe Misa. “I’m just worried about the case, is all. We got some new leads, and I was just thinking about some possibilities. I’m really sorry, Misa. You’re right. I am your boyfriend, and I should have been paying attention to what you were saying.” Light’s apology successfully soothed Misa. She shot back up again with a light in her eyes and a wide smile on her face.

At nearly the same time, L shot up from his own seat next to Light. The sudden movement after such a long time spent still shocked both Light and Misa.

“I’m glad you said that, Light-kun,” L said, turning to look at him, “because I might have just figured out a solution to one of our major problems. Can we discuss it?” Light knew at once that L was lying. There had been no change to L’s expression, no light flashing in his eyes. But still, Light was grateful for any excuse to get away from Misa.

“Of course,” Light said, rising to his feet. Misa let out a deep sigh.

“Come back when you’re done talking about that,” she insisted. Light managed to mutter a half-hearted, “I will,” before L was dragging him out the door.

When they were a safe distance away from Misa’s room, Light turned to L.

“What was that really about?” he asked.

“I want to show you something,” was L’s only response. Curiosity peaked, Light followed L down the winding corridors of the headquarters building. Eventually, they reached a glass door to a balcony. Curtains covered the door, so that no one outside would be able to get a peek in. L peered around the curtains and, satisfied, opened the door and motioned for Light to step through.

Light hadn’t been outside in months. He let his eyes briefly flutter shut as he took in a deep breath of the crisp air. He didn’t dare keep his eyes closed for long, though. The sprawling city below him, with the lights from the various cars, windows of buildings, and streetlights, contrasting against the dark, moonless sky stole his breath away. It was cold, far colder than it really should be this time of year, but Light wasn’t complaining. Especially not as he saw the small dots of white drifting down from the sky.

Snow. A cold front must have set in recently. It was still too warm for the snow to properly stick to the ground, but it fell gently from the gathering clouds above, nonetheless. Light reached out a hand over the railing of the balcony and watched as several tiny snowflakes landed on his open palm, melting into cool water almost instantly.

“Do you like it?” L asked quietly from behind Light. Light turned around and faced the other man. L looked nervous, hands shoved into his pockets and his foot scuffing against the ground. It was the first time Light had ever seen L look unsure of something.

“Are you kidding?” Light responded, closing the already small distance between him and L. “This is amazing! Winter’s always been my favorite season; for it to be snowing this early…” Light grinned at L. “How did you know about this?”

If L truly had been unsure of himself, that insecurity melted away with Light’s words. He was smiling back at Light, though his smile was smaller, as if he didn’t entirely realize he was smiling.

“I overheard Matsuda-san complaining about a cold front moving in,” L said, “and I’ve been keeping an eye on weather patterns should it ever make tailing someone harder. The chance of precipitation tonight was high, so I figured with the two conditions together there would be a chance of an early snowfall. Only at night, of course.”

Just shut up now, you beautiful genius.

If there ever was such a thing as someone’s heart swelling three sizes, Light was sure he’d experienced it at that moment.

“As for knowing your favorite season was winter,” L continued, “it makes sense with what I know about your psychology. You seem attracted, in some way, to the dark and cold. It only makes sense that this attraction might manifest as winter being your favorite season.”

Had that comment about darkness been another dig at Light being Kira? At this point, he didn’t care anymore.

Light smiled warmly down at L. There was no sense of finality in L’s sentence, and Light was sure that if he didn’t do anything, L might continue pointing out his observations. Light was equally sure that if L did that, he would entirely enjoy it.

“Your genius never ceases to amaze me, Ryuzaki,” Light said. It was always nice to lose the honorific when they were alone. “No matter how many times I see you deduct something, you always surprise me. I’m in awe.”

It may have been dark outside, but Light knew. He knew, beyond any shadow of doubt, that L had blushed right then and there on the balcony.

“Misa-san still thinks my favorite season is summer,” Light said. L chuckled.

“Let me guess: is that her favorite season?” he asked. Light nodded. He’d never seen L look so relaxed before. The hunch on his shoulders had always given an air of protectiveness, like he was trying to keep the world at an arm’s length away. Now, L seemed completely at ease. His eyes shone with a light that seemed foreign on the man. He leaned casually against the wall of the building, looking at Light as if he were the only other person in the world.

And in a way, he was. In a way, Light and L were the only people alive at that moment, staring silently at each other with a brilliance that could light a bonfire if focused. Neither moved for a moment, simply taking in the other and letting the snow fall around them. The cold chain that connected the two seemed to weigh almost nothing.

Light moved first. He didn’t know what was leading him to do it, other than the simple fact that he wanted to. Light brought his hands up to cup L’s face, and pulled him into a gentle kiss. He heard L’s sharp gasp, felt his fingers trembling as they shot out to grab at Light’s shirt, sensed the fluttering of his eyelids, and knew that a kiss had been the last thing L expected.

But L recovered quickly. And once L started kissing Light back, Light felt an inherent sense of rightness. And Light didn’t know that a kiss this simple and soft and gentle could feel this good, and that the warmth of L underneath his palms could be so comforting.

Sure, Light had kissed people before, but those kisses had always felt forced. An obligation. But kissing L felt so natural, it was more surprising they hadn’t done this before.

L’s hands rested on Light’s waist, holding him with just enough force to keep him close. Not that Light wanted to leave. Light ran one of his hands through L’s hair, just to know what it felt like, just to feel the strands run through his fingers. And the contented sigh L made against his lips at the motion made Light’s heart flip.

Eventually, L pulled away. Light wanted to chase after his lips, pull him back, but he resisted the urge just so he could look at L’s face, flushed red and tinged pink from the cold and for the first time looking alive. L started back at Light for a moment, before stepping back and out of Light’s embrace. The sudden feeling of loss surprised Light.

“Come on,” L said, his voice scratchy in a way that should not be that attractive. L cleared his throat.

“Let’s head back inside.”

Chapter Text

L sat staring at the screen. Telling Light about his investigation log had been a risky move, and he knew it well. But if Light became Kira again- when Light became Kira again- he should be distracted by the investigation log to notice what’s actually important.

Should be. The problem being, of course, L’s mistake only seconds later.

He hadn’t meant to. Truly, he hadn’t. But Light in his arms, looking on the brink of tears, begging him not to leave… if he was still Kira, it was one the best moves he’s ever pulled. Either that, or kissing L on the balcony. L had brought him up there solely because he knew it would make Light happy. But he hadn’t accounted for Light kissing him, and he certainly hadn’t accounted for liking it that much.

L had always done his best to keep his emotions out of the way of investigations. But then Yagami Light had walked into his life and messed everything up.

There was a distinct difference between Kira-Light and the Light that was now handcuffed to L, if only in L’s mind. Alike, and looking the same, but acting differently.

The Light L had met was always calm, reserved, and collected. L had tried to provoke him many times face-to-face, but Light had never even blinked. He always had an air that he was one step ahead of the people around him. It was that arrogance that was at the center point of most of L’s numerous plans to take down Kira.

But this Light was warm. Like a fireplace quietly roaring in the winter. He was emotional and temperamental (L’s cheek still stung from the last time Light had hit him). He didn’t seem as guarded, there weren’t so many walls L had to work around. It all caught L off guard, and so this new Light was much better at making L cave into him.

If this was all an act, then surely Light should earn some kind of medal for his performance. If there even was an award out there Light hadn’t managed to earn.

And yet…

As L stared at Light, caught up in some conversation with Misa L didn’t care much about, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t an act. That what he was seeing was the real Light. The one not cursed with whatever dark power Kira had.

And for some reason he didn’t want to think about, L was disappointed.

Maybe someday, L would have to come to terms with the fact that he actually missed the old Kira.

The old Kira wouldn’t have panicked like this. The old Kira wouldn’t have made so many mistakes. The old Kira wouldn’t have been this sloppy. And most definitely, the old Kira wouldn’t have given up how he killed so easily.

A notebook. It seemed unbelievable. All you had to do was write someone’s name, and just like that, they were dead.

But, the truth was sitting right in front of him. Not only with the notebook, but also with the monstrous thing standing by the crashed car.

Without thinking, L handed the notebook over to Light. Instantly, his stomach dropped. He’d made a mistake. Once Light had grabbed the notebook, his eyes blew wide open, and his jaw dropped.

“Light?” L tried. There was no response. L called his name again, but still, Light didn’t respond. L reached out towards Light, but his hand fell haltingly. The exhilaration in Light’s eyes stopped him, the corner of Light’s lips twitching up in a too-familiar smirk.

Thunder echoed. Lightning flashed. Freezing rain pelted down from the sky. The streets were abnormally silent, aside from the roar of cars.

All these things seemed distant, to L. Like they were happening somewhere away from where he stood.

What have I done?

He’d been so focused on winning the battle, he’d forgotten about the war. Could he really afford this? If he just let things play out like this, Kira would win. Light would win.

Someone called from across the roof. L barely heard him over the rushing wind.

Speak of the devil. It was Light. Light called out again, but L still couldn’t hear. He beckoned, and with a sigh, Light trudged forwards onto the roof.

What are you planning, Yagami Light? What are you planning, Kira?

Light was sitting at the top of the steps. He was drying his hair with a towel, and though he didn’t see L approach, he must have known he was there from the sound of his footsteps in the otherwise silent stairwell.

“Well,” L said, mostly just to break the silence, “that was certainly an unpleasant outing.” Light didn’t look up at L, and for some reason, it stung.

“It’s your own fault,” Light retorted. “I mean, what did you expect?” L hung his head.

“You’re right,” he muttered. “Sorry.” L hadn’t just been talking about the rain, in fact he hadn’t even been mostly talking about the rain, but he also had a feeling that Light hadn’t been, either.

As L watched Light dry his hair, an idea suddenly sprang into his mind. L pulled his own towel off his head and began to descend the stairs next to L. Light didn’t notice, or if he did, he didn’t show it.

L wasn’t sure exactly why he’d thought of this. Maybe it was just out of true care for Light. Maybe it was scrambling for one last moment with just the two of them before everything changed. Maybe it was L finally surrendering. Or maybe, it was that pressing need to get the final word. To catch Kira off guard.

Either way, L knelt down before Light, took a careful hold of his leg, and began to dry his foot.

It took Light a moment to notice. But the startled gasp that L heard from above him told him that he’d finally been seen.

“What are you doing?” Light asked, a waiver in his voice.

“I thought I might help you out,” L responded, his own voice straight and unyielding. Oh, how powerful it felt, in this moment when L should feel powerless. Kneeling at the feet of his sworn enemy, flustering him while maintaining perfect composure. “You were busy wiping yourself off anyway.”

“Look, it’s fine. You don’t have to do that,” Light said, too quickly. Is he scared? He sure looked it. Eyes wide, jaw clenched, shoulders tense. And the way he’d stammered over his words…

L couldn’t afford to let this moment pass.

“I can give you a massage as well,” L said, his tone still unchanging. Light’s eyes widened further, and L was almost sure he’d heard a half-suppressed gasp. “It’s the least I can do to atone for my sins. I’m actually pretty good at this.”

Light’s expression didn’t change, but L didn’t miss the way his hands tightened around a step. This was too easy. If L had tried this sooner, would things have turned out differently?

Light turned his gaze away from L.

“Fine,” he muttered. “Do what you want.” And in a way, that felt like a victory, however small it was. Maybe L was going to lose this war, but he wasn’t going down without a fight.

L worked with silent concentration. He prayed to whatever gods were out there that Light picked up on the near-worship the act portrayed.

Then, L presses a bit too hard. Light lets out a small grunt of pain, and tries to jerk his foot away. L’s grip, however, is too tight.

“Hey!” Light retorts, glaring down at L.

“You’ll get used to it,” L mutters in response. Because he will, won’t he? He’ll see the world bow before him. Before Kira.

L only hoped he’d also see that world be ripped from under his feet.

L is still wet from the rain, something he didn’t account for. The water from his hair drips down onto Light, undoing the progress that L makes. L ignores it, continuing his work, until a towel is pressed to the side of his face and slowly dragged through his hair.

“Here,” comes Light’s quiet voice. “You’re still soaked.” The towel is removed, allowing L the chance to look up at Light.

L can see why Light sees himself as a god now. The way the light from the window hits Light’s body, the water making it refract and for Light to appear to be glowing… it’s certainly angelic. Along with Light’s natural good looks, if L had been told that Light was an angel from heaven, he might have just believed it.

Light was staring down at L, too. It’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking. But L was sure, surer than anything else in his life, that just for a moment, right after the towel was pulled away from him, that he got to glimpse the Light he’d gotten to know at this headquarters. The Light that carried him to his room when he was working too late. The Light that brought him sweets, and actual food, whenever Watari was busy.

His Light.

It was strange to think of a person as his. But, L supposed, in a way, it was true. This Light was the Light he got to admire and praise without guilt. This Light was the one who shared his wits and his drive to find Kira. This Light was the one who got him worked up again when he thought his motivation to find Kira had ground to a halt. Even if Light’s method was punching him in the face.

But then Light blinked, and the moment was gone. Yagami Light was once again Kira, the man that was going to kill L in likely less than an hour. L dropped his gaze and returned to drying L.

“I’m sorry,” L muttered. He didn’t elaborate, and Light didn’t ask for an explanation. His Light would have.

L could feel Light still staring at him. He found that he didn’t mind it. So long as the two of them got to share in this moment, L didn’t mind.

“It’ll be lonely, won’t it?” L said. It was phrased as a question, but it was more of a statement. “You and I will be parting ways soon,” L said, as casually as if all he was doing was saying goodbye to a friend that he sees every day. Like this was more of a “see you later” than a true goodbye.

A phone ringing cut through the silence. The moment was broken, but L found himself calm. Even as he answered the phone, even as he and Light walked down the steps.

Even as he walked to his Execution.

Chapter Text

Light glanced behind him. His father, Mogi, and Matsuda had left to talk outside, leaving him alone. Perfect.

Light flipped through the pages of what once was Rem’s Death Note, scanning the pages for a name.

L Lawliet.

So, L had been his real name this whole time? Light sighed. It did make sense, but he wished he could have said that he’d suspected that possibility.

“Well played, L. Well played,” he muttered under his breath. Light closed the Death Note and turned back to his excuse for staying at headquarters. L’s investigation log. As Light read over it, he couldn’t help but smile as he came across the recounting of the tennis match. Back when the two of them had first met. Even then, they’d known each other so well. Not well enough, but they could feel and predict the other’s next movement.

“I let you win,” L had said, months later when Light was in confinement. The two had wound up talking back in forth for most of the 50 days Light had been in prison. Light suspected his conversations with L were the only thing that kept him sane.

“Is that so?” Light had retorted, laughing. “Why didn’t you say that earlier, then? Or is this another one of your tests?” L had hummed, the sound strangely comforting over the mic. Then they’d moved on, changing to another topic of conversation as easily and as naturally as water flowing down a stream.

Light looked to his left, where L normally sat, knees drawn up to his chest and completely focused on his research. It was a habit, looking over whenever he thought about the man. Of course, he was no longer there.

That realization dug sharply into Light’s chest. It took him by surprise, how quickly and fiercely the thought of L’s not here anymore overtook Light. He gasped from the force of it, his hands trembling from the sudden weight that seemed to have smothered him. Light’s throat dried, and it suddenly felt hard to breathe. For a brief, panicked moment Light thought he was dying, until he felt tears start to prickle in his dry eyes and it all came together. He was crying.

Crying?

L had been Light’s worst enemy. He was in the way of the pure world Light was creating. He deserved to die. Light had barely managed to hold back his manic laughter when he’d seen the life leaving L’s body, so why was he grieving now? It didn’t make any sense, but Light suddenly had the desire to bury his hands in L’s loose shirt and pull him close, to hide in the crook of L’s neck and hear him whisper sweet reassurances into Light’s hair. He wanted to feel L's weight against his, to hear the steady pounding of L’s heart in rhythm with his own. He wanted to cup the sides of L’s face and pull him close, just like he had that fateful night on the balcony. Wanted to hear L promise to never leave him again. Wanted L.

If Light hadn’t been crying before, he was now. Red-hot tears fell down his cheeks, staining two uneven tracks on his face. He shouldn’t be crying. He wanted L gone.

At least, that’s what he thought he wanted.

Light could feel Ryuk’s eyes staring at the back of his head, but he didn’t react to the Shinigami’s presence. I hope you’re enjoying yourself, Ryuk-sama, Light thought bitterly, as his head fell down to the desk. Sobs continued to rack Light’s body, both from the sudden feeling of loss and Light’s own anger at himself.

Light heard the door open, but didn’t react to it. Maybe couldn’t react, even if he wanted to, as he heard his father’s footsteps quickly approaching him, and felt the strong arms of his father envelope him in a tight hug.

And Light only cried harder at that, because it wasn’t L. Because it was his father, not L, holding and gently rocking him. Because it was his father, not L, that was whispering that everything would be okay. Because it was his father’s heartbeat, not L’s, that echoed loudly next to Light’s ear.

Because Light had needed L out of his way, but he might just have needed L more.

Light didn’t know how long he sobbed in his father’s arms. He was distantly aware that Matsuda and Yogi were also present, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Light cried until he had no tears left, until his body felt empty. It was pathetic, Light found himself thinking. But he was too tired to care.

Light pushed himself away from his father’s arms. Without a word, he turned back to the document he’d been looking over and pretended to read it. His father hovered over Light for a moment longer, but eventually left Light alone with a gentle squeeze of his shoulder.

Light only skimmed over L’s notes before deleting the file. Maybe it was a little suspicious to do so, but Light doubted any of the other Task Force members would truly consider that he was Kira. L would. L had. If L were still here…

Light shook his head, stopping his train of thought before it could continue and leave him as a pitiful mess again. Kira didn’t cry over his victims. He knew this had to be done to bring about a new world, cleansed of evil. If L couldn’t see that, it was his own damn fault.

It was simple, erasing the final bits of L’s existence from the computer without being noticed. Light felt another stinging pain jab at him as the memory of L placing the handcuffs over both of their wrists jumped into his head.

But L’s dead now.

“Have you found anything, Light-san?” Matsuda asked tentatively.

“No,” Light said, cringing as his voice cracked over the simple syllable. He cleared his throat, and continued, “nothing. The data wipe seems pretty absolute.” The lie came too easily, was accepted too readily. “But I’ll keep looking.”

Chapter Text

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:42:03

We’re almost out of time.

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:46:32

I understand. I’ve been reviewing the files, and I’ve narrowed the possibilities down to two.

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:47:11

I believe I know who you have selected. Have you come to a decision?

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:49:52

No. Unfortunately, both contestants have glaring flaws that make me hesitate to allow either of them to take control.

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:50:24

I don’t wish to give names, given the highly likely event that one or both of them are listening into this very conversation. The first candidate is nearly perfect, but he’s reckless and far too dependent on others.

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:50:58

As for the second candidate, he’s very temperamental. That could be a strong motivator, though it could also cause his emotions to get in his way.

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:51:38

I see. Neither of them will be particularly happy to hear this.

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:52:14

That is why I have no intention of telling them. What I just said is to stay between the two of us.

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:52:42

Of course.

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:53:27

Out of curiosity, who would be your ideal candidate? No matter how impractical.

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:54:58

Ideal?

(___)-___-____
04-12-07, 23:55:46

Kira. Kira would be my ideal choice.

  (111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:32:56

Hey

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:33:27

Light, you are six feet away from me. You don’t have to text me if you want to talk.

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:33:41

I know. I just don’t want Misa-san to overhear

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:34:03

You certainly know how to pique my interest.

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:34:09

What is it you want to talk about?

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:34:58

Last night. On the balcony

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:36:48

Ryuzaki?

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:38:56

Ryuga?

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:41:32

L

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:44:01

You can’t just avoid the question because you don’t want to answer it.

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:44:43

I’ve actually found that’s a very effective strategy.

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:44:49

Ryuzaki. Please.

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:44:56

You kissed me.

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:45:21

I believe it was you who kissed me.

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:45:48

You kissed me back.

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:46:00

Why?

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:46:32

Because I am attracted to you. I thought that would be obvious by now.

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:47:29

But you think I’m Kira

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:47:56

I do not think you are presently Kira. But I do believe that, at some point, you were Kira.

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:48:22

In fact, now I am almost certain of it.

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:48:39

Why is that?

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:49:02

Because you kiss like him.

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:53:18

Now who’s avoiding the topic?

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:53:51

I’m not avoiding it

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:53:59

I’m just surprised, that’s all

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:54:21

You kissed Kira?

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:54:32

I did a lot more than just kiss him. I thought you were present for that discussion.

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:54:49

I guess I wasn’t.

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:54:55

When did this happen?

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:55:12

May 20^th, I think. Not long before the meeting between the two Kiras.

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:55:27

Do you really not remember this?

(111)-111-1111
08-10-07, 20:55:36

I really don’t

(000)-000-0000
08-10-07, 20:55:51

Interesting.

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
3-11-11, 17:02:52

You wont believe this

(000)-000-0000
3-11-11, 17:02:58

Try me.

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
3-11-11, 17:03:01

Okok so

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
3-11-11, 17:03:06

I was talking to him on the phone like you said

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
3-11-11, 17:03:12

We were talking about you

(000)-000-0000
3-11-11, 17:03:19

I’m flattered, but please get to the point.

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
3-11-11, 17:03:22

Sorry

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
3-11-11, 17:03:27

He told me that he really missed you and that he regretted something

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
3-11-11, 17:03:30

He didnt say what but

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
3-11-11, 17:03:33

He hung up immediately after

(000)-000-0000
3-11-11, 17:03:42

Interesting.

(000)-000-0000
3-11-11, 17:03:49

Thank you. This information will be extremely valuable.

(000)-000-0000
3-11-11, 17:03:55

Please continue to keep me updated on Light’s situation.

  (000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:12:32

Did you really leave me your number?

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:12:51

Took you long enough.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:13:22

Yes. I did.

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:13:39

You never cease to intrigue me, Kira-kun.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:13:47

Why L-kun, are you flirting with me?

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:13:47

I never took you as the type.

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:13:56

If I was flirting with you, you would know.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:14:09

Oh, is that what you were doing last night? Flirting?

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:14:13

I don’t remember hearing you complain. Quite the opposite.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
2-04-07, 11:14:19

Is this how you treat all the criminals you investigate?

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:14:27

Or am I the lucky exception?

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:14:39

I can say with certainty that I have never kissed any of my suspects before.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:14:46

Have you even kissed anyone before?

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:14:51

Yes. I have.

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:14:58

Why? Did you want to be my first time?

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:15:03

Or was I yours?

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:17:29

Don’t flatter yourself. I was only curious.

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:17:35

The amount of time it took you to reply says otherwise.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:17:41

Fuck you

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:17:45

Wrong, Kira-kun.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
21-04-07, 11:17:53

What do you mean?

(000)-000-0000
21-04-07, 11:17:59

I was the one fucking you.

Chapter Text

William Griffin. Suicide. Before his death, he writes a suicide note reading “Wha I have done is a disgrace to umanity and to my family name. Kira is coming fo me, and he has judgd me unworthy of his perfct world. I die kowing the wrld is headed to a rue paradis of only good and righteou people.”

Light leaned back from the Death Note with a sigh. It had been a while since he’d done something like that, sticking to heart attacks and accidental deaths without choosing the course of his victims’ actions. He didn’t see any need for it, now that L was gone.

But Light was just so. Bored.

4 years had passed without any opposition to Kira. Governments around the world had started falling to their knees before him, accepting Kira’s judgement and execution without question. Those who supported Kira were becoming more vocal, and they only grew in number as time went on.

It wouldn’t be long before the whole world accepted Kira as their new god.

But Light was starting to understand what Ryuk meant whenever he talked about what it was like in the Shinigami Realm. It was too easy, now, to kill. He didn’t have to worry about surveillance or bringing suspicion to himself. There weren’t any traps that needed to be set or evaded. It was just… simple.

And Light hated it. Which was why he’d left this clue. It was out in the open, obvious to anyone with half a brain. The note had letters missing, and if you put those letters together it spelled out “THREE NOTES”. Simple. Clean. Easy.

Infuriating.

It was the kind of clue he would have left to rile up L. To get inside his head and make him question his own judgement. Those clues always managed to snap L’s temper, and make him look like he wanted to punch Light right then and there.

Light sometimes wishes that he had. The small fights he and L had gotten into while at the old headquarters had always been fun, even if they both got a bit bruised. L was a much better fighter than Light had first judged, and the chain connecting the two always provided an interesting obstacle. He should ask L to spar, at some point.

Oh. Right.

Light shoved L from his mind. He couldn’t afford distractions.

Over the last four years, Light had alternated between not letting himself think about L and thinking about L too much. If he didn’t think about L, he also didn’t have to think about the stabbing pain in his chest whenever he remembered that the man was dead. However, Light couldn’t forget those handful of memories that seemed determined to be stuck in the front of Light’s mind.

Like the tennis match, seeing that fiery determination burning in L’s eyes.

Like sitting in the coffee shop, each attempting to psyche the other out.

Like sitting in L’s chair, masked and heart racing in his chest.

Like that moment on the staircase, seeing L look at him and starting to question his choice.

Like that night on the balcony, kissing L deeply and holding him close. Light bit his lip, still able to taste L against them. Still able to feel L’s hands pulling at his shirt, still able to hear L’s voice whispering his name.

The sound of his ringtone brought Light back to reality. Light grabbed his phone and picked up the call, not even bothering to check the caller ID, too grateful for the distraction from his thoughts about L.

“Yes?” Light asked, too quickly to seem natural.

“Light-san!” Matsuda’s voice echoed from the other side of the phone, and Light sighed. Honestly, what had he expected?

“What is it?” he asked, forcing his voice to seem steady. “Did something happen?”

“The FBI told us that a double homicide convict just committed suicide.” Ah. There it is. Matsuda sounded far too excited about the situation, and Light could picture him bouncing up and down, as well as the dirty looks he never noticed the other Task Force members giving him.

“Is it Kira?” Light asked. “This barely seems like news-”

“But he left a note!” Matsuda interrupted. “Light-san, we haven’t seen a criminal leave a note in years!”

“You think Kira is trying to send us a message?” Light asked, his surprise not feigned. Genuinely, he was surprised Matsuda had managed to figure out even that much.

“What else could it mean?” Matsuda asked. Light briefly considered providing several theories but chose not to. If he actually attempted to brush off the note’s significance, his word would be taken as fact, and it would be ignored.

“Send me the note,” Light ordered, opening his laptop. He waited a couple seconds after the picture was sent, pretending to read it. “Interesting,” Light muttered under his breath.

“What do you make of this, Light-o?” Light’s father was the one who spoke that time. All of them are there, and they have Matsuda call me?

“What’s your theory right now?” Light asked. He felt his heartrate pick up at the pause after his question. Come on… this is easy.

“We noticed the misspelled words on the note.” That was Aizawa, his voice tense like he wasn’t sure he should be saying it. Yes… come on.

“I noticed that too,” Light said, subtly encouraging them. There was something of a thrill in it, waiting for them to come to the right conclusion. This must have been why L had liked testing people so much.

“It almost seems like the note was written in a hurry,” Aizawa continued. But…

“But the security cameras tell otherwise,” Ide added. Light shifted to the edge of his seat, they were so close, so close.

“It’s certain that Kira made Griffin-san write this note,” Light’s father said. “So it’s certain that he’s sending us a message.”

“That message being?” Light hadn’t been able to stop himself from saying that out loud, and he could only pray that the team didn’t pick up on that hopeful edge to his voice.

“Kira may start judging people based on intelligence,” Mogi concluded.

What.

What?!

Light’s jaw was hanging open, shock crashing over him. How the hell had they come to that conclusion? He heard Ryuk’s laughter fill the room, but couldn’t respond. Stunned silence kept him unresponsive for too long.

“Light-san?” Matsuda tentatively asked. “What do you think?”

You absolute idiots.

Rage filled Light’s body. There was no way well-respected police officers, with the exception of Matsuda, could be this stupid. It had long since gotten boring to watch the Task Force run around like chickens with their heads cut off, and it was slowly turning infuriating.

“With all due respect,” Light said, taking every ounce of self-control he had to make his voice sound it, “I disagree. If you look at the misspelled words, you notice a pattern. All of them are missing a letter.” It felt degrading, having to explain his clue like this. “Those letters are T, H, R, two Es, N, O, another T, another E, and S. If you put those together, it spells “three notes”. It seems that Kira is flaunting that, even though we have a notebook in our custody, he can still kill.”

Once Light hung up, he buried his face into a pillow and screamed. How? That was the most obvious clue he could have given. He might as well have taken a page out of Misa’s book and told the whole world that he still had a notebook. How had the Task Force still not have gotten it?!

Ryuk was still laughing. Light glared up at him.

“Glad to see you’re enjoying yourself,” Light hissed. “Because I’m not.” Ryuk held up his hands in mock surrender, though he was still giggling.

“Come on, Light,” he said. “You have to admit, it was a little bit funny.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Light growled, pushing himself to stand up. “Not when this is what happens every. Single. Time.” Ryuk was still chuckling.

“To be fair, though you know how much I hate that, you did write it in English,” he said, grabbing an apple from the basket Light always had out for him and tossing it in the air. “That’s not their first language.” Light rolled his eyes.

“They all know English well enough,” he retorted. “English isn’t my first language, and I wrote that clue.” Ryuk laughed.

“Li-ight,” he said, singsong, with a tone that made Light want to groan. “Don’t tell me you miss L.” Light stumbled back; his eyes wide. He didn’t miss L.

He didn’t.

“N-no,” Light stuttered. “Of course I don’t miss him. He’s dead, and that’s what I want.” Ryuk only laughed louder, and Light was uncomfortably reminded of how he’d been laughing when Light had met Naomi.

“You were right, Light,” Ryuk said, his standard maniacal grin spread wide across his face. “This really is turning out to be very interesting.”

Chapter Text

Light let a smile spread on his face as the phone rang. His one real reprieve from boredom had been Sayu's calls from America. She’d chosen to study abroad there for college, and she always had at least a couple interesting stories to tell, though Light doubted the authenticity of most of them.

“Hey, Light!” Sayu's voice rang out from over the phone. “How’s the case going?”

“Classified,” Light said with a grin. Sayu sighed.

“I know, I know,” she grumbled. “I mean, it’s clear it’s not going well. Anyone could figure that out. Kira's killings are only increasing.”

“I know,” Light said, feigning a frustrated sigh. Sayu knew too much about the Kira case as it was. She’d somehow managed to figure out that L had died, even if her reasoning didn’t make… complete sense. She’d been watching too many crime movies, Light guessed.

“That reminds me,” Sayu said, and Light perked up. This should be good. “There’s this guy in my Criminal Psychology class. I think I’ve told you about him? He was the one who kept arguing with my Criminology professor last year.”

“I remember him,” Light said with a chuckle. “The one whose dad owns a law firm?”

“That's him!” Sayu laughed. “So, the other day our Criminal Psychology professor was running late, and he was talking the ear off of the girl who sits in front of me.”

“The one you have a crush on?” Light asked, grinning. Sayu groaned, and Light could picture her rolling her eyes.

“I don’t have a crush on her,” she muttered. “She’s just pretty.”

“Sure,” Light said, with a tone of disbelief. He knew what Sayu was going to say a moment before she did.

“You mean like you ‘don’t have a crush on L'?” she teased. Light huffed out a sigh.

“I don’t,” he said. He prayed he was telling the truth.

“You didn’t,” Sayu corrected. Light was about to agree, before he realized what he might be admitting to. He didn’t have a crush on L, because L was dead (Light ignored the sharp tug at his heart at the thought), but it could be taken to say that he’d grown to have a crush on L.

“That’s a trap,” he said, accusatory. Sayu let out a dramatic gasp on the other end of the line. Light could see her flopping down onto a couch with her hand draped over her eyes and had to stifle a laugh.

“What? Light, how could you accuse me of such a thing?!” she bemoaned. A small laugh slipped through Light’s lips, and Sayu’s giggles soon joined in. “Seriously, though. I know it’s been a while since he died, but how are you?” Light sighed. Part of him liked Sayu’s constant check-ins, but an equal part of him was annoyed with them.

“I’m fine, Sayu,” Light said. “Seriously. You’re right. It’s been almost five years now. I’ve moved on.”

“Are you sure?” Sayu asked. Her tone was careful, and when Light didn’t say anything, she continued. “You’ve been so busy with the Kira case. Are you sure you’ve really processed his death?”

Light’s jaw tightened. Mostly because Sayu was, annoyingly, right.

“I’m fine, Sayu,” he insisted. “I really shouldn’t be talking about this with you, anyways. We can’t risk someone overhearing that L is dead. You shouldn’t even know that.”

“There’s a lot of people starting to suspect that, Light,” Sayu said. “Like, a lot. I get why you want people to think he’s still alive, and I’ve been trying to dissuade anyone I hear talking about it. But, people are getting worried. More progress was made in the first year of Kira’s existence than in the last five years.”

Light bit his lip. If even the general public was starting to catch on to something being off, then the Task Force might take drastic measures soon. And Light wasn’t sure if he’d be able to fully discourage them without outing himself.

Something needed to happen soon. If only the Task Force wasn’t so useless!

If only L were still alive.

Light shook the thought from his head.

“I know,” Light said. “We’re doing the best with what we’ve got, but there really haven’t been any new leads lately.”

“I was thinking about that in class, actually,” Sayu said. “I know you and Dad said you were getting frustrated with how the case was going cold. So, I looked at all the stuff Kira was doing that I could find. Do you think that, maybe, Kira actually liked having L around?”

Light stiffened. Ryuk, who had been happily munching on an apple until then, paused and started paying close attention to the phone call.

“What do you mean?” Light asked, fighting to keep his tone even and steady.

“Well, we were talking in my Criminal Psychology class about criminals who liked being chased by the police,” Sayu said, hesitantly, like she wasn’t sure if she should be saying it. “Like, there’s this famous serial killer in America called the Zodiac Killer. He’d leave all these clues and ciphers for the police to figure out. Of course, they never did solve them, and they never figured out who it was.”

“What does that have to do with Kira?” Light asked tensely.

“Like I said, I was looking over the publicly available files on Kira,” Sayu continued with more confidence. “And I noticed that he only started doing more than just kill criminals with heart attacks after the Lind L. Tailor broadcast. Like, do you remember that time when he killed a criminal every hour, on the hour?”

“Of course,” Light said absently, becoming more uncomfortable by the second.

“Well, Kira only did stuff like that after L joined the case. And then, after L died, he stopped. So, I was thinking, why? Maybe Kira is like the Zodiac Killer. He liked the thrill that L hunting him down gave him, so he played with him. Leaving all these clues and the like for L to find. And then, after L died, he stopped because it wasn’t fun anymore.”

Ryuk laughed.

“Wasn’t this the same girl who you had to help do her homework every night?” he asked. “She’s almost as smart as you!” Light glared over at him, but couldn’t say anything with Sayu still on the other end of the phone.

“You might be right. We’ll look into it,” Light lied. “In any case, you really shouldn’t be doing stuff like this, Sayu. We have the Task Force for a reason.”

“I know, but if I called the tip line, I’d have to explain why I knew that L was dead, and Dad would be super mad that I was trying to solve the Kira case instead of focusing on my school,” Sayu explained. She giggled then, and added, “I guess you’re kind of like my personal tip line, in that case!” Light chuckled.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I guess I am.” Except everything you say stays between the two of us.

“Although,” Sayu mused, “it might be nice for whoever answers the tip line to hear something other than someone pretending to be Kira. How many of those have you gotten again?” Light chuckled again, freer and more relaxed. More honest.

“Just around 20 this week,” he said. “Overall? I’ve lost count.” Sayu laughed.

“I need to go now,” she said. “I’ve got a test for algebra coming up that I need to study for.”

“Right,” Light said. “Call me if you need any help.”

“I will,” Sayu said, laughing. “You’ll probably hear from me again in like 20 minutes.”

“I’m counting on it,” Light said with a grin. The phone clicked off, and he put it down with a sigh.

Sayu might end up becoming a problem.

Chapter Text

The building was quiet. Still. Dead. A thin layer of dust was layered over every surface, left undisturbed for years. The light from the windows was too bright, the shadows were too dark. It looked like it had been abandoned for centuries, even though it had only been built a few years ago. It was a shadow of the past that would not, could not, go away.

For once, Light was grateful for that. The door creaked as it slid open, echoing around the first floor. Light’s footsteps were too loud, and with every step he took, a small cloud of dust erupted from the ground.

Light had needed to get away. “N”, whoever he was, must have thought he was real funny. Like anyone could ever really be a successor to L. And the audacity of him to order the Task Force back to Japan, when the second notebook was in the mafia’s possession! Light’s fingers twitched, itching to write his name.

That was why Light was in a place he hadn’t been for 5 years. He didn’t want to think about the present.

But as to why specifically he needed to go to the old headquarters, Light didn’t really know. It was some innate calling, like what had drawn him to the Death Note. Just a deep knowledge that he had to be here, had to walk through the empty hallways to clear his head. That this would be the only place he would get the answers that he wanted.

Light simply stood in the main hall for a moment. The large, imposing computer screens still stood, layered high along the wall. All of them were off, but they flickered to life when Light hit the main power switch controlling the whole matrix of screens. One by one, the monitors blared to life, each showing a different still image of the whole complex. Empty hallways, empty bedrooms, empty offices. If Light didn’t know any better, he might have thought that he was looking at pictures, not live video.

Light couldn’t help the fond smile as his gaze landed on Monitor 3, nor could he help the warm feeling in his chest. It now gave video of the hallway outside what was previously Misa’s room, but it hadn’t always been wired to that camera. Light chuckled softly at the memory of the changeover.

“Hey, um, Ryuzaki-san?” Both Light and L looked up at Matsuda’s voice, both in varying degrees of irritation.

“What is it, Matsuda-san?” L asked. Light noticed his fingers tapping impatiently at the desk.

“Um, I’m really sorry to bother you, but…” Matsuda trailed off and started fidgeting with the edges of his shirt sleeves.

“Matsuda-san, you are only bothering me more by standing there and not saying anything,” L said, beginning to turn back to observing the monitors.

“I was looking through the records of the security cameras,” Matsuda said quickly, stepping forward as if to stop L from dismissing him, “and I noticed that some files are, well, missing.” That certainly caught L’s attention, and he quickly spun around to face Matsuda.

“Missing?” he repeated. Matsuda hesitated, then nodded.

“Now, I-I don’t mean to imply anything,” he stammered, “but all the files missing are from, well… your room.”

L froze. Light’s heart dropped. That’s not good. In truth, those files had been deleted. For good reason, as they contained footage of L and Light fucking. The two exchanged a quick glance, each trying to come up with an explanation.

“Like I said,” Matsuda said hastily, “I don’t mean to imply anything. Obviously, it’s not like I think either of you are Kira.” Matsuda laughed nervously, his hand jumping up to rub the back of his neck. Luckily, it gave Light enough time to think of a cover-up story.

“Didn’t some of those files get corrupted?” Light asked, directing the question at L. L looked over at him and gave him a slight nod.

“Yes, that’s right,” he muttered, catching Light’s eye. L seemed to catch on near immediately, turning back to Matsuda. “We had to delete some of the files because the data was corrupted. I’m sorry that we didn’t tell you or the others. Feel free to tell them now.” There was a brief, tense moment, where it seemed that Matsuda was going to challenge their story, but then he nodded quickly and scurried out of the room.

L sighed when he saw the door close behind Matsuda and dropped his head to his knees.

“We need to be more careful about that,” Light commented, turning so that he was fully facing L.

“Agreed,” L mumbled. “I’ll reroute that camera to Watari’s office. He’s the only one who sees and handles those files, and he won’t ask questions.”

“We should probably delete some other random files,” Light added. “It’ll look less suspicious if all the cameras have some trouble with storing files.” L hummed, and looked up at Light through the side of his eyes. Light recognized that look, and he sighed as he leaned back in his chair.

“Did that just increase the possibility of me being Kira?” he asked tightly. His hands gripped the sides of his chair, so that he wouldn’t be tempted to strike L again.

“No,” L said, briefly shocking Light, before he continued with: “We’ve been over this. I am almost certain that you were Kira, but are no longer Kira.” L lifted his head off of his knees. “I was just thinking about certain other security files that needed to be wiped.”

It only took a moment for Light to catch on to what L was talking about. He grinned at L, and he felt his heart rate pick up and heat flood his body.

“You really are a pervert,” he hummed, tugging at the chain connecting him and L. “You kept those recordings?” L turned in his chair to face Light, yanking back on the chain and causing Light to stumble out of his chair. A grin was plastered across his face.

“I seem to remember someone requesting that I do,” he said. “Don’t play innocent with me, Yagami Light.” Light tried to stop the red that flooded his cheeks at being called by his full name. He feigned thinking about it as he started walking towards L.

“I don’t think I remember that,” he said. He’d reached L by then, and was standing over him. L looked up at him, for once giving something other than his case his complete and undivided attention.

“Let me remind you,” L mused as he ran a hand up Light’s side.

Light shook his head. No, he shouldn’t be thinking about that aspect of his and L’s relationship. Maybe they’d hooked up, maybe he’d told L to keep the recordings of him masturbating when he was under surveillance, but that wasn’t important anymore.

Because L was dead.

Light started for the bedroom he and L had shared. He tried the elevator first, but when the door slid open with a groan, it occurred to him that it probably wasn’t the best idea to take the elevator in an abandoned building. Light sighed inwardly as he looked up at the never-ending staircase up the 23-stories of the old headquarters.

Light had only climbed a few flights of stairs, though, when he noticed something that made him freeze in his tracks.

A white towel lay, discarded, on the side of the staircase. It looked innocent enough, evidence that this building had, at one point, been alive.

But Light knew otherwise. Vividly, before he could stop it, the memory of L kneeling at his feet, looking up at him with eyes that then suddenly seemed like they belonged to a stranger, forced itself to the front of his mind. It brought Light himself to his knees, the weight of it. Barely thinking of what he was doing, Light reached out and grabbed the towel, and for a moment, he was taken back to that day, to L’s gentle caresses against his skin, to the whispered phrases that barely made any sense coming from L, to the shock that dug into Light’s system when he was sure he’d felt L lean into his touch.

Mind still elsewhere, Light buried his face in the towel.

It still smelled like him.

It smelled like L. The heavy, sickly sweet smell of L clung to the towel, threatening to vanish if he didn’t cling to it like a lifeline. More memories of L flooded into Light’s mind, each one battling with the others until all that filled Light’s senses was a dull roar that all pointed to one raven-haired, grey-eyed, poor-postured man who was now dead. Light was embraced by, trapped in, the memory of L’s existence, transfixed to the spot by the smell of him. It was like L himself had pulled Light into a hug, tucking Light against his chest and holding him there. It was comforting, terrifying, infuriating, safe. Everything and nothing that Light wanted. He wanted to push L away. He wanted to pull him close. He wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream.

And so, scream he did. He buried his agonized shrieks of agony into the towel that was slowly losing the smell Light so desperately craved. Light buried his face into the towel and took a deep inhale, then screamed again. Tears fell from his eyes this time, and Light barely even noticed. The towel was slowly becoming stained with Light’s tears of grief, of regret, of agony, of wrath.

The regret was what stabbed at Light the deepest. The name he could finally put to what he was feeling whenever he thought about L. Regret.

Because no matter what, more than anything else, he needed L.

The sound of something in the distance falling startled Light. He pulled his face from the towel, his tear-stained eyes darting around. He caught a figure just up the staircase dart away, too quick to be recognized. Light scrambled to his feet and took after the figure. There was no way for him to know how long that figure had been watching, or how much they’d seen. There was also no way of telling who the figure was or what they wanted.

So, Kira gave chase.

It was infuriating. Every time Light rounded a corner, he’d see the figure dash around yet another bend, always too quick for anything notable about them to be seen. Finally, Light spotted the figure slam a door shut behind them.

Got you.

Light shoved open the door and entered. It was one of the bedrooms, but he couldn’t be sure which one. All he knew was that he’d seen this room on one of the monitors earlier. The figure was gone, but they couldn’t have gone far. The room wasn’t big, and there was no way for them to safely jump out the window. Light relaxed. No matter what the intruder did, he was cornered. Light would be able to catch him and deal with him.

While his gaze swept across the room, looking for all possible hiding spots, the TV caught Light’s eye. He was certain that the TV had been off when he’d seen it on the security cameras, and even if it hadn’t been, it wouldn’t make sense for it to have been left on when the Task Force had abandoned this headquarters.

The TV was turned to a news station, who were covering three new victims of Kira. These days, that was hardly notable, and that was what caught Light’s attention. He hadn’t done anything recently that would be newsworthy, and he knew that Misa hadn’t even touched the Death Note for weeks.

“These three victims each reportedly died by suicide, and each one also reportedly wrote a suicide note. The police have given us permission to show the three notes.”

None of that was true. Light hadn’t killed any criminals by suicide since that failed attempt to get the Task Force to do something interesting. Light watched intently as the notes were flashed on screen.

Everything hit Light all at once. Quickly, he scanned the top line of each of the notes.

KIRA DO YOU KNOW

HOW TO KILL

A SHINIGAMI

Light’s throat went dry. He stumbled backwards, and tripped over his own feet. It couldn’t be… if all the files really had been destroyed, then N would have no way of knowing about Light’s first message to L. Beyond even that, N would have no way of knowing how to kill a Shinigami. What the hell-

The door slid open, and someone slipped, entirely unnoticed, out of the room.

Chapter Text

“That was risky.”

Two figures sat on either side of a chess board. There were no black pieces on the board, instead replaced with tiny, bizarre looking toys. Both sides were missing pieces which were scattered on the floor, as if forgotten.

Not quite, though. It was too dark then to tell, but in the light, the second figure’s constant glances over at the discarded pieces would be made obvious.

Both figures sat with their knees drawn into their chest, and both were staring intently at the chess board. It was impossible to tell which side was winning. It was the first, smaller figure who had spoken, after watching the second slide his king out from behind his knight.

“What’s the phrase?” the second mused, his gaze darting around the board, small calculations visibly being worked out. “You have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet?”

“Something like that,” the first agreed. His hand hovered over the various pieces, occasionally reaching out to pick up a piece before quickly retracting it and continuing studying the board. “You know, he’s not going to take this lying down.” He finally made a decision, sliding one of the pieces that was supposed to be a pawn forwards, towards the king, but also in danger from three different other pieces: the knight, the king, and the castle.

“I’m counting on that,” the second said, immediately moving his knight forward. Not to take the pawn, but to threaten the queen. She wasn’t in any immediate danger, unless she was moved even one space. The first waited no time in making his own retaliation, placing his bishop in a place to threaten the knight. The second moved his queen forward, close to the bishop. Not close enough to be taken, but still too close for comfort.

“You think he’ll fall for that?” the first asked, finally looking up from the board to look his counterpart in the face. The second made no change, simply continued considering the board.

“I don’t think he won’t,” he said carefully. At that, the first dropped his gaze back to the board.

“He’s not stupid,” he said. He looked around the board, considering his possible moves.

“I know he’s not,” the second one said, echoing the first’s movements with a cock of his head. “But I do know that he’s temperamental and lets his emotions get the better of him. I know that he’s arrogant, and I know that he never second guesses himself.” That last statement, a lie, slipped through with ease, entirely unnoticed.

“Sounds like someone else we know,” the first muttered under his breath, moving his castle forward to protect the bishop.

“He’ll come around,” the second said, moving his knight so that now it was threatening the bishop. “The challenge with him is that he’s exactly like Light.” The first stilled, looking up at the other figure. He was cloaked in the shadows, hidden by the darkness. The outline of his figure was the only thing revealing his position. Though he knew it shouldn’t be, the first figure couldn’t help but feel intimidated by it, the unknowable shadow man whose face he could never see. It was terrifying, in a way it shouldn’t be.

Light stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. It was a trick, he knew that. Based on the odds, it was most likely N and the SPK trying to get a rise out of him.

But Light didn’t plan on making it that easy for them. It might be fun to play with them for a bit, but the SPK was going to learn their place.

They were beneath Light, and they were beneath L.

The door was shoved open, and Light froze. It was snowing. Of course it was snowing, it was the middle of October and late in the day. The innocent flakes drifted gently from the sky, shattering when they hit the ground. Light spiraled down with them, the memory of the last time he’d seen snow at the headquarters meeting him as he plummeted.

L’s hands rested on Light’s waist, holding him with just enough force to keep him close. Light ran one of his hands through L’s hair, just to know what it felt like, just to feel the strands run through his fingers. And the contented sigh L made against his lips at the motion made Light’s heart flip.

Light could still feel the warmth of L’s body against his, the drumming heart rate underneath his fingertips. The proof of L’s life, against Light’s own body. A feeling Light had craved since that night, tugging L away to a private room whenever he got the chance to feel it again. It had been addicting, stronger than any drug in existence. A dose so potent it must logically be lethal, but if anything, it only made Light feel more alive.

Snowflakes billowed down, surrounding Light and shoving him to his knees. It was pathetic, wasn’t it? A god brought to his knees by the mere memory of his worst enemy’s kiss. Tears rolled down Light’s cheeks as he wrapped his arms around himself and quietly sobbed to the ground.

Maybe he was imagining it, but the soft breeze whistling around Light carried a voice. One that was hauntingly familiar. One that called his name. A voice that only made Light sob that much harder.

“Check,” the first figure said. Quick as a flash, the second moved to slide his queen into place.

“Checkmate,” he said, leaning back away from the board in a sudden disinterest.

Chapter Text

Umeki Torio. Ollie Chapman. Porter Knapp. Luise Eisen. Ivkin Foma Olegovich. Dante-

The sound of knocking startled Light. Quickly, he slid the Death Note into its new hiding spot in his desk and stood to go open the front door.

Misa had already beat him to it. She squealed when she threw open the door and pulled the person on the other side into a surely bone-crushing hug.

“Sayu-chan!” she sang. Sayu laughed lightly, hugging Misa back.

“It’s good to see you again, Misa-chan!” she said. Sayu successfully dislodged herself from Misa’s hug and turned towards Light. She had a wide smile across her face as she saw him, and Light couldn’t help the matching grin that spread across his. Light wrapped Sayu in his arms and pulled her into a tight hug, lifting her slightly off the floor. Sayu laughed and hugged him back harder.

“Sayu,” Light muttered. He hadn’t seen his sister in person in what felt like ages, only talking to her maybe once a week over the phone. Sayu echoed his name, and Light let go with a sigh.

“You have to tell me everything!” Misa insisted, grabbing Sayu by her arm and tugging her into the apartment. Sayu let herself be dragged to the living room and sat down on the couch. Light smiled as he watched the two for a moment. Looking at Sayu, no one would guess that she’d been kidnapped only a couple weeks ago.

“Sayu-chan!” Misa called reproachfully. Sayu, grinning mischievously, had stolen Misa’s necklace and was holding it just out of reach of Misa’s grabbing hands. “Give that back!” Misa demanded.

“Make me,’ Sayu challenged, her grin wide. The scene launched Light unwillingly into a memory, and no matter how hard he tried to fight it, it took a hold of him.

The only time the handcuffs were taken off was when Light and L were getting dressed, and it was only because the chain made it impossible to remove or put on a shirt.

When Light leaned down to pick up his shirt, he found it missing. Confused, Light scanned the floor and only saw the chain resting by his feet.

“Looking for something?” Light turned around at L’s voice. L held Light’s shirt from one hand, a small smile twitching at his lips. L, too, was shirtless. Light sighed and held out his hand for his shirt, but L only raised an eyebrow. Light fought not to roll his eyes

“Ryuzaki,” he said, “please give me my shirt back.” L’s smile spread. Light moved forward, but L held his shirt further away from him.

“No,” L said simply, still grinning. Light’s eyes narrowed.

“We don’t have time for this,” Light insisted. He moved to snatch his shirt out of L’s hand, but L moved it away at the last second. Light growled and shoved L to the ground, but L grabbed Light’s wrist and pulled him down with him. Light fell with a yelp, and he landed on top of L. Light shoved himself to sit up, and caught L’s gaze.

L was grinning from ear-to-ear. A light shone in his eyes, one that Light had never seen before. Small laughs kept escaping from L as he stared up at Light. His hair fell elegantly around his face, like a dark halo. He looked beautiful. Like an angel.

It stole Light’s breath away. Any annoyance he’d felt for the man below vanished in a quick heartbeat. His heart and face felt warm, and a smile formed on Light’s face.

He was so in love.

Light forced himself from that memory. He wasn’t in love with L. He’d never been in love with L. He was- he’d been- attracted to him, that was all.

Light pushed his hair out of his face, just to give him something to do. Misa had snatched her necklace back, and Sayu was talking about what it had been like in America. The perfect image of friendship. Light sighed and walked to his room.

The door shut quietly, and Light leaned against the wall. This was getting out of hand. The more he tried to fight these memories, the more they kept seeming to show up. He needed to focus on eliminating Near, not on what had happened with L. He was dead, and that was that.

It must be Near’s fault, Light reasoned. He had shown up, parading around that he thought he could be L and messing with Light. That was why he couldn’t seem to pull his mind off of L. That was why he kept having the feeling of a sharp knife digging into his heart when he pictured L’s lifeless corpse in his arms. It was all Near’s fault.

Speak of the devil.

Light’s phone rang. Quickly, Light switched on his voice filter and picked up.

“What is it, Near?” he asked. For once, he was glad that Near had called him. No one else was present, and so no one would give him strange looks for the lack of honorific. No one would know except for Near, which was exactly what Light wanted.

“I thought it fit to inform you that the SPK has sent a message to several news stations to be aired,” Near replied. If he had noticed or been bothered by Light’s blatant act of disrespect, he showed no sign of it. “I highly recommend you watch it.”

“I see. I will,” Light said, before hanging up. “That could have been a text,” he muttered to himself. He grabbed the remote and turned on his TV, flicking through channels.

“- an anonymous Kira-hater has sent us a tape that he wishes to be played.” Light groaned and rolled his eyes. Had they really sent a copy to Sakura TV? Sure, he’d chosen Demegawa to be his “messenger”, but had only been because he knew Demegawa would accept without any question.

“This is that blasphemous tape.” Light sighed and sat down on his bed. This should be good.

“There is something important that the world needs to know,” came the scrambled voice of N from the tape. “L is persistent in his hunt for Kira, and will stop at nothing to bring him to justice.” Light couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Here is a message from L, to Kira.” Light hummed and leaned back, eager to see whatever Near had created. He hadn’t recorded any messages as L, he knew that. It was a little cute, this childish form of contacting Kira. Certainly amusing.

“Hello, Kira.” And that’s when Light stopped finding the tape cute, or amusing, or funny. That’s when he started listening, with rapt attention, to the tape.

Because he knew that voice. Light knew the unfiltered voice that spoke then, so calmly and casually it stung. He knew the voice whose words he could barely understand, too immobilized by the shock of hearing his voice again.

Because that voice was L’s. Ryuzaki L. The L that was supposed to be dead.

Chapter Text

Light sat at his desk, staring at his phone. L wanted to meet with him in person.

“You can come masked,” he’d said, and Light knew he was referencing the last time he’s met L as Kira. “Meet me in the apple orchard.” The only apple orchard Light knew of was the one where he’d buried the notebook before being detained. If that was the case, then how the hell did L know that? Light’s heart thumped wildly in his chest. He hadn’t had a feeling like this since before his confinement.

He didn’t know what to do. This could always be a trap to lure him out into the open, so that he could be arrested. Light wouldn’t put it past Near to try something like that.

But there was, of course, the issue of Light having heard L’s voice. He knew it was L’s voice, there wasn’t any doubt about that. L was also the only person who knew about the Kira mask. Meaning…

But L couldn’t still be alive. Couldn’t he?

Light had seen L’s name in the Death Note. Could that not have been his real name? He’d never bothered to follow-through. Why should he have?

Light gritted his teeth and stood quickly, knocking his chair back. Ryuk jumped up from where he’d been sitting on Light’s bed, clearly having become bored of Light’s silence.

“So,” Ryuk asked, “are you going to go?” Light sighed, and turned to his closet.

“I don’t think I have a choice.”

Light hadn’t bothered telling Misa or Sayu he was leaving. Sayu was too busy telling Misa a story about one of the people she’d met in America, anyways. Neither seemed to have even noticed the message broadcasted on the screen. Light slipped out of the door, gently closing it behind him. A strong sense of déjà vu washed over him as he turned away from the door and slunk down the hallway.

The door opened, then closed. Light didn’t know what was behind it, and he didn’t particularly care. What mattered was that L was standing in front of him, his head cocked slightly to the side. His face was unreadable.

“Kira-san, I presume?” he asked. Light nodded. Now that the two of them were alone, there was something imposing about L, something unreal that was unsettling.

Luckily, if that showed on Light’s face, L wouldn’t be able to see it.

L had hidden a message for Kira proper in the police’s messages to Second Kira, asking him to meet at his hotel room. Light had jumped at the opportunity, and he had quickly fashioned together a mask to hide his face. The mask, a kitsune mask, was pure white coated with golden details and two red tassels on either side. It covered the top of Light’s face as well as the back of his head. He’d been careful to hide his hair so L wouldn’t recognize it. The eyes of the mask were covered with a red, sheer fabric, so that Light could see through, but no one could see what his eyes looked like. The mask was a bit extravagant, as Ryuk had commented many times during its creation, but it was unavoidable. He needed some sort of disguise.

And, after all, weren’t gods always a bit extravagant?

“I’m glad you came,” L said, neither his expression nor his tone noticeably changing. “I have to admit, I wasn’t sure if you actually would. After all, it is quite risky for you to be here.” L sat down then, staring intensely at Light’s eyes like he could see straight through the thin fabric. “What if the police were hiding outside the room right now, waiting to jump you? The mask wouldn’t really matter, now would it?” Light smirked. He’d thought about that question.

“You wouldn’t do that,” he mouthed. L tilted his head slightly.

“You can’t speak?” he asked. “Or you won’t?” Light held up two fingers, and L nodded, satisfied. “Understandable,” he said. “Please, continue. Why wouldn’t I do that?” Light smiled and leaned back in his chair.

“Because you don’t play like that,” he added, still not letting a single sound slip from his mouth. “Maybe you would have caught me, but you wouldn’t have figured out who I was by your own merit. You would be cheating.” There was something like a gleam in L’s eyes when Light said this, one that Light wasn’t entirely sure was even there. “And besides, even if you caught me, you still wouldn’t know how I kill people.” Light didn’t hold back the smug smirk that crossed his face as he finished. L hummed as he leaned forward in his seat, hovering on the balls of his feet.

“Interesting,” he muttered. “I figured you were smart, but your deductive reasoning skills are quite impressive. Especially considering that we’ve never met before.” The final line was said with complete innocence, but Light had to fight to keep his face still. Damn you, L! This was a trap the whole time! “But of course,” L added, “I’ve been able to deduce quite a bit from you already, Kira-san.”

“You have?” Light raised an eyebrow, but he quickly realized L couldn’t see it. “Like what?” L rose from his seat.

“First, you consider yourself a god. You parade yourself around as some sort of divine being, when in reality you are nothing more than a simple human on a power trip.” Light gripped the armrests on his chair tightly to keep himself from jumping the man inching ever closer to him. Behind Light, Ryuk cackled.

“This guy’s pretty good, huh?” he said. Light ignored him.

“You also seek validation,” L continued, calmly, like he hadn’t said anything at all, “as demonstrated by your reaction to me praising your intelligence.” Light tensed up.

“What do you mean “my reaction”?” he asked. His voice nearly slipped through, but he caught it at the last minute.

“Your body relaxed, and your smirk turned into a smile,” L said. He was right in front of Light now, hovering above him. “It was only for a moment, but I am quite perceptive.” Light gritted his teeth, not sure if he was angrier at L for tricking him or for being right. “And finally, you are gay.” Light shot upright.

“What?” he demanded. His voice slipped through as a cracked squeak. “I’m not gay!” The look L gave him told Light he didn’t fully believe that.

“You’re certainly not straight,” L said. He placed one of his hands on the side of Light’s mask. “The level of thought and care that you put into concealing your identity indicates a certain level of experience in that area.” Light forced himself to remain still as L ran his thumb along the break in Light’s mask that revealed his mouth. “Speaking of, what is stopping me from tearing this mask off of you right now?” Light flashed a grin, half in response and half in an attempt to regain some control of the situation.

“I’d like to see you try,” he challenged. L hummed and ran his hand down the side of Light’s face so that it rested along Light’s jaw.

“Yes, I figured you’d done something to prevent that from happening,” he mused. “Do you plan on wearing this when you meet the Second Kira?”

“And why should I tell you that?” Light made no move to remove L’s hand from his face. Strangely, there was something nice about the feeling of L’s touch against his skin.

“So I know what to look out for,” L said, a touch of sarcasm in his voice. L let his hand fall from Light’s face, so in retaliation, Light kissed him.

When Light was sure no one was around, he pulled the mask out of his bag and slipped it on over his head. The only other items in his bag were a small knife and the Death Note. Just in case.

The apples in the orchard were ripe this time of year, and Light could sense Ryuk’s mouth watering as he saw all of them. The orchard was completely empty, part of the reason why Light had chosen to bury the Death Note there. There was very little chance that someone would come across the burial site, and even then, they likely wouldn’t expect anything.

Unless, apparently, that person was L.

Light walked to the place where he’d buried the Death Note, feeling almost like he was in a dream. His heart pounded in his chest far too hard, his blood rushing in his ears was far too loud. The sound of Light’s footfalls barely registered as he walked the hidden path as if controlled by someone else.

Finally, he saw a figure. Crouched down, looking at the ground, directly over the burial spot. His hair fell in a frenzy around his head. His clothes were baggy, and looked far too big for his body. He was skinny, almost malnourished, but he was stronger than he looked. Light had learned that the hard way.

Light couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t talk, he couldn’t do anything but stare as L, as L, looked up and noticed him. L smiled, and Light felt that he was the dead man walking, not L. The moment barely felt real, a separation in it like when you recount a dream to someone. The red filter that coated Light’s vision only served to make the moment feel more unnatural. There was a brightness in L’s eyes that Light knew he’d seen before, but he couldn’t remember from where. For a moment, Light forgot even why he’d came here in the first place.

“Hello,” L said, and it took all of Light’s self-restraint not to throw himself at L right then and there. To punch him? To kiss him? To demand answers? Light didn’t know. He simply watched as L pushed himself to his feet and turned to stare at Light.

The two were about six feet apart, the maximum distance their old handcuffs would have allowed. L didn’t say anything else, clearly waiting for Light to ask the obvious question. Light took a deep breath.

“How did you find this place?” Light asked. L frowned, but he answered.

“It wasn’t that hard,” he said, each simple word falling from his lips digging like the thorns on a rose into Light’s heart. His head spun. “The first message you ever gave me: L, do you know Shinigami like apples? That led me here. From there, I walked around until I found a place that I thought I would bury something if I was trying to hide it.”

The answer was simple enough. L hadn’t said anything. Why did Light want to fall to the ground and cry?

Light stood in silence for a few more moments. L waited patiently, clearly waiting for what was inevitably coming.

“How-” Light cut himself off, cringing at how shaky his voice was. He took another deep breath, and tried again. “How are you still alive?” His tone was even enough. It would be fine.

“Took you long enough,” L teased, before he sighed. “It’s a long story. You might want to sit down.”

Chapter Text

L sat on the couch, watching Light. Recently, he hadn’t let Light out of his sight, even though he’d removed the handcuffs per Light’s request. He didn’t see the point in them anymore. It was only a matter of time.

The Shinigami sitting in front of him, Rem, also looked in the direction of L’s gaze, though she wasn’t looking at Light. She was looking at Misa, who was standing next to Light. The two of them walked away, leaving L and Rem alone.

She hadn’t answered any of his previous questions, but it was worth a shot.

“Rem-sama,” L said, “I am truly sorry to disturb you, but I have one last question.” Rem looked over at L slowly. Like she wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing.

“Go ahead,” she said.

“What first drew you to Misa-san?”

Rem’s attention was instantly caught. The strange, cloudy state she seemed to have been stuck in vanished, and there was a sharpness in her gaze as she stared down L.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, a dangerous edge to her voice. L met her gaze calmly. This wasn’t the first time someone had tried to intimidate him.

“You are always hovering around her and looking at her. It was to Misa-san that you first showed yourself. My guess is when she was interrogated by Yotsuba. You are clearly attached to her, somehow.” L titled his head and watched as Rem processed his observations. Finally, she sighed and looked away.

“I truly do not know,” she said, the sharpness melting away from her voice. “I wish it wasn’t so.”

L considered that for a moment.

“So then,” he said, “I presume that Light has asked you to kill me for him.” Rem spun around to glare at L.

“And why should I tell you that?” she asked. L met her gaze, unfazed.

“Because I just might be able to save Misa-san,” he said, “but to do that, I’ll need your help.” Rem narrowed her eyes. L recognized the signs of someone not trusting him, even when it didn’t come from a human.

“Explain,” Rem ordered. L glanced briefly around the room. Light and Misa were both talking in the lobby, and the rest of the Task Force were in their respective offices. Wedy and Aiber were both at their homes. L leaned closer to Rem and lowered his voice.

“We both know that, no matter how much she loves him, Light is not good for Misa-san,” he muttered. “He doesn’t love her, and he never will. Not in the way that Misa-san wants him to love her.” Rem continued staring at L with suspicion.

“But what if she’s proven to be the Second Kira?” she asked. “She will be put to death.” L shook his head.

“Not necessarily,” he said. “The rest of the Yotsuba group outside of Higuchi Kyosuke-san have been freed from prosecution, despite their willing participation in those meetings. I can do the same for Misa-san if Light is proven to be Kira.” Rem didn’t budge.

“And why would you do that?” she asked. L sighed.

“In truth, I do not care what happens to Amane Misa-san,” he admitted. “I do not do this out of a need for “justice”. I do this because I enjoy it. Because it keeps me from becoming bored. All I want is to win this game, and that means proving to the world beyond doubt that Yagami Light is Kira. I don’t even particularly care if Light is put to death.” L hesitated for a moment. “In fact, I’d rather he wasn’t.” L saw the pieces click in Rem’s mind.

“But the other officers do not feel the same,” she said. “If, or when, Yagami is proven to be Kira, and consequently Misa is proven to be the Second Kira, they will ensure that both of them are punished.” L nodded.

“I’m glad we have reached an understanding,” he said. Rem still stared at him.

“I can see your lifespan,” she said. “I can see the lifespan of all humans. You do not have much time left, regardless of when Yagami kills you. My love for Misa is going to be the death of us both.”

“Both?” L asked. “What do you mean by “us both”?” Rem sighed.

“Understand that I am only telling you all of this because I believe it will be to Misa’s benefit,” she warned. “If a Shinigami falls in love with a human, then kills another human or humans to extend that human’s lifespan, the Shinigami will die.”

Is that so?

A plan started formulating in L’s mind. He’d have to plan it carefully, but… Light was emotional. He knew that now for certain.

“I see,” L muttered. “Thank you, Rem-sama. This will be valuable information.”

“Wait,” Rem started. “If you do not die, Yagami will grow suspicious of me. He expects me to kill you so that Misa can live.” L shrugged.

“I have faked my death before,” he said, dismissively. “And if Light expects it, then it will be even easier than normal.”

“The one you call Watari,” Rem persisted, “you must understand that I will have no choice but to kill him. If I do not die, Yagami will instantly see through our plan. Someone must die at my hands for this to work.”

L closed his eyes. Maybe he should have expected this. But still, he couldn’t help that tugging feeling at his heart to insist against this. To kill someone else instead.

But L fought against that feeling, and forced himself to say, “I understand.” He opened his eyes. “It would probably also be beneficial to replace one of the pages of your notebook with a false page that has my name on it. If Light looks through the notebook, he must see my name, or he will get suspicious.” Rem nodded.

“That won’t be difficult,” she said. “I will kill Watari first. After he has died, wait approximately 40 seconds.”

L nodded then started towards the stairs. Rem remained where she was, but watched him walk away.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“The roof. I want to listen to the bells.”

“You’re safe, L.” L blinked open his eyes at the sound of Wedy’s voice. She and Aiber stood over his “dead” body. The two of them were the only ones that L had told about his plan. He trusted them to keep a secret, and he knew it was only a matter of time before Kira came for them.

L pushed himself to sit up.

“Thank you,” he said. “Both of you. For everything.”

“How long do you think we have?” Aiber asked. “I’ve still got some items on my bucket list I need to cross off.”

“I’d give it a couple months,” L said. “It will be far enough apart from him meeting you to not look suspicious. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he killed the two of you separately.” Wedy and Aiber seemed unfazed by this, like they’d been waiting for their death days since Kira had first appeared.

“That should be enough time,” Aiber said. “I guess I’ll see you on the other side, then.” L nodded.

“I guess I will.”

Wedy and Aiber exchanged one last glance, then turned and left. L was left sitting in the mortuary. His funeral would be a closed casket, so that the Task Force wouldn’t see that it was empty. He and Aiber had forged an autopsy report and a death certificate, in the event his death was revealed to the world.

Meaning that L was dead to everyone. Light would take over as L, fooling the world, until Wammy’s decided to send out L’s successor. L was almost certain it would be Near, even if it was too early. Near was the obvious choice, but L couldn’t help but see the glaring flaws.

It had hurt more than it should, seeing Light’s victorious grin looming over L’s “dying” body. It dug into L, yanking at his heart in a way not dissimilar to how it had felt knowing he couldn’t stop Watari’s death. That feeling returned as he watched, from afar, Light taunt his victory over his empty grave.

Chapter Text

“I’ve been waiting for this.” L leaned back in his chair as he stared at the screen. An extravagant letter “N” stared back at him.

“So have I,” came the distorted voice on the other end of the call. “I’ve been busy these last few years gathering evidence for the Kira case. I only now was able to find the time to contact you.”

“How long did it take you to find out I was still alive?” L asked.

“About 45 seconds,” Near responded. “When they told us you hadn’t made a choice, I knew you were still alive.”

“And Mello?” L asked. Near paused for a moment.

“I don’t know,” he said. “It seems like he bought it. But I haven’t seen him for years.” L glanced over the notes Near had sent him.

“And he still has the notebook, right?” he said.

“Yes,” Near responded, “but we’re planning on getting it back soon.”

“Don’t,” L interrupted. Near paused for a long moment.

“With all due respect,” he said, “I don’t exactly like the idea of Mello being able to use the notebook. Especially considering the fact that he knows what my face looks like.”

“I understand your concerns,” L said, “But you’re safer than you think. Mello doesn’t know your real name. At any rate, I’d rather he have the notebook than Kira.”

“I suppose,” Near muttered.

“I don’t intend to let him keep it forever,” L elaborated. “But our top priority right now shouldn’t be the notebook. It should be catching Kira. He’s gotten sloppy these last few years. That, or he’s gotten bored.” L’s eyes flickered over to the “THREE NOTES” clue. “I’d give it a 5 percent chance he’s sloppy, and a 10 percent chance he’s bored.”

“What if it’s both?” Near asked. “He could be getting sloppy because he’s getting bored.”

“That’s definitely a possibility,” L agreed. “In any case, I think it’s about time we let him know I’m still alive.”

“How do you plan on doing that?” Near asked. “It’s not like you can tell him directly.”

“In fact, that is exactly what I plan on doing,” L said. “I plan on first sending Kira a message, then broadcasting a request to meet with him.” I’ve done it before. “If he doesn’t see my face or hear my voice, he won’t believe it’s really me.

“And why do you need him to know you’re alive?” Near asked.

“Because I have a plan to prove beyond doubt the true identity of Kira,” L said. If a Shinigami falls in love with a human, then kills another human or humans to extend that human’s lifespan, the Shinigami will die. “But in order for it to work, I need to get close to Kira again.”

“Which is why you want to meet with him,” Near concluded. “But since he knows your real name now, won’t he just kill you once he realizes you’re still alive?” L smiled to himself.

“No, I am quite confident I’ll be fine,” he said. “I have reason to believe Kira regrets attempting to kill me, and that he won’t try it again.”

“If you’re sure,” Near said. “I’ll order the Task Force back to Japan, then.”

“I also need you to send a fake police report stating that three of Kira’s victims had written suicide notes,” L said. He’d had the notes written for a while, and was simply looking for an excuse to use it. “Kira will know that it’s fake, so it’ll get his attention. I’m sending you the notes now.”

KIRA DO YOU KNOW

HOW TO KILL

A SHINIGAMI

If Light wanted to be seen as a god, then L would treat him as such.

L had barely ended the call with Near when another one rang through. Curious, L answered. The screen flickered for a moment, before the face of Mello was staring him down.

“Before you say anything,” Mello said sharply, “I’m only calling so you know that I know you’re not dead. You only said you were to test us, and I failed that test.”

“Wrong, Mello,” L said. Shock briefly seized Mello’s face, but he quickly masked it with cold indifference.

“What do you mean?” he demanded.

“There is no passing or failing my tests,” L said. “They are simply to observe how you would react to certain situations. Think of them more as experiments than tests.” Mello’s eyes narrowed at the screen.

“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth, “You saw how I reacted. I got angry and ran away. That should tell you everything you need to know. You can just choose Near as your successor and be done with it.” Mello looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. It was supposed to look cool and closed off, but L saw through the front.

“Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.” Mello’s gaze shot back forward as L spoke. “Between the two of us,” he said, “Near has several flaws that would get in the way of making him an effective L.” There was a spark of something in Mello’s eyes, something that looked like hope.

“So, you’re still deciding?” Mello asked.

“Yes,” L said. Mello was silent for a moment, like he was contemplating that information.

“The 13-day rule is fake,” Mello said at last.

“I know,” L said. In response to Mello’s questioning look, he added, “The day I faked my death, I sent a page of the notebook to be tested by a death row inmate. He wrote a name, and 13 days later, he was still alive. Not only did that test confirm that the 13-day rule was fake, it confirmed that fragments of the notebook can be taken and used.”

“Kira would have fragments on him as well as the other notebook,” Mello said. “And the other rule on the back cover is also fake.”

“It only makes sense,” L mused. “I’m impressed, Mello. You’ve accomplished quite a bit in the last five years. Especially at your age.” Mello huffed and turned away, but L caught the smile that crossed his face.

“I should go,” Mello said abruptly.

“Please keep in touch,” L said, just before Mello’s face disappeared.

Chapter Text

Light stared at the ground. Really, he shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course Rem would try to make things as hard for Light as possible, even if she was out of his way now.

She hadn’t died because her love for Misa had made her extend Misa’s lifespan. She’d died because her love had made her extend L’s.

L had gone silent after finishing his explanation, and he was now simply watching Light. Waiting for him to react. Light didn’t know if he wanted to punch L or hug him. To yell or to cry. To walk away or never leave.

Light sighed. He could figure all that out later. For now…

A smile formed on Light’s face.

“In a way,” he said smoothly, as if he hadn’t been affected at all by this revelation, “I’m glad you’re still alive. Your replacement is… infuriating.” L smiled at that.

“Yes, I thought you might feel that way,” he said. “I’m sure he is much more annoying than I was.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Light interrupted, a teasing lilt in his voice. He crossed his arms and leaned casually against a tree trunk. “You’re more annoying than you give yourself credit for.”

“I could say the same about you, Light,” L countered. Light stumbled a bit at the use of his name, his grin wiped from his face. It wasn’t only his true name that caught him off guard, but the lack of honorific. Light knew, knew beyond doubt, that it hadn’t been done out of disrespect, like he’d done with Near. Somehow, he knew it was with the same intention as all those times L whispered his name in the Task Force Headquarters when they’d been alone.

“Are you really surprised?” L asked. “I saw you smirking over my ‘dying’ body, and I saw you screaming about your victory over my grave. If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is.” Light couldn’t stop the heat of embarrassment that flooded his cheeks.

“You saw that?” he muttered, wincing at the memory. L only nodded.

“It was an impressive speech, I will admit,” he said. “I almost thought I actually had lost for a moment.” Light huffed and rolled his eyes.

“No need to rub it in,” he whispered under his breath.

“I will rub it in at every chance I get,” L promised. Light glared up at L, who simply smiled back at him. God, he was annoying. Light wanted to shove him to the ground, wipe that stupid smirk off his face, kiss him silly-

No. No, he didn’t. He wanted to kill L. Not kiss him.

More so he would have something to do than anything else, Light pulled the mask off. The fall colors of the orchard were dulled without the vibrant red cover of the mask’s eyes. There was something vulnerable about it. Like Light had nothing more to hide behind.

“There you are,” L whispered, so quietly Light could have imagined it. He looked up. L wasn’t smiling anymore, but he was staring at Light with a glimmer in his eyes Light couldn’t recognize. That didn’t stop the blow it delivered to Light’s gut, stronger than if L had actually kicked him. L looked so… alive. He looked more real after his death than he ever did before. Light couldn’t stop the shaky breath it drew from him, nor the welling of tears in his eyes. Light looked down to the ground, but it didn’t stop those tears from pooling over and spilling down his cheeks.

He's alive.

“Light?” came L’s voice, far too gentle and far too worried. Light couldn’t bear to look up, knowing that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from breaking down. Guilt tugged at Light, sunk its teeth into his heart, grinned viciously as Light could do nothing but stand there and silently cry. It shoved Light, unwittingly, into a memory.

“Hold still,” L muttered. He sat behind Light on the bed they shared, and an open first-aid kit sat next to them. Light, shirtless, sat facing away from L, yielding his trust to the man. The metal of the chain was cold, and Light flinched away from it every time it brushed against his bare skin.

“I’m trying,” Light said, twisting his head to look back at L. The cut that ran along his shoulder pinched as he did, sending sharp pain through Light. He winced, and L gently guided him to face forward again. “The handcuffs are cold, Ryuzaki-kun.” L sighed, and reached down to grab an alcohol wipe from the kit.

“You know I can’t take them off, Light-kun,” he said. Light gritted his teeth.

“I’m not Kira,” he hissed. He finished with a yelp as L brought the wipe to his cut. L’s other hand came to rest against Light’s uninjured shoulder, keeping him still.

That argument was what had gotten them into that situation in the first place. During their fight, Light had fallen and cut his shoulder against the table. With the adrenaline coursing through his veins, he hadn’t realized that he was bleeding, or how deep the cut was, until after Matsuda had called and the fight stopped.

“I’m sorry, Light-kun, but there is too much evidence that you are. Or, that you were,” L said. “I can’t ignore the fact that the killings stopped while you were in confinement.” Light sighed.

“I guess you’re right,” he muttered. “Like always.” L paused at that for a moment. He set the alcohol wipe aside and picked up a packet of gauze, fidgeting with it.

“Can you keep a secret, Light-kun?” he asked. Light wanted to turn to look at him, but the hand L kept on him tightened, reminding him to keep still.

“What’s this about?” Light asked. L ripped open the gauze and pressed it to Light’s wound. Light winced, but he stayed still.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” L whispered. The admission hung heavy in the air, commanding dead silence. L’s voice shook, the first time Light had heard something break L’s monotone voice. “I know you were Kira. I couldn’t have been wrong about that. There’s too much evidence pointing to you being Kira. Even if it’s nothing I could ever use in a court of law.” L trailed off, then picked back up as he applied another layer of gauze. “But it’s impossible for you to be Kira now. Even if Kira could kill with thought alone, you wouldn’t be able to know of the criminals Kira is killing now. Meaning, at some point in your confinement, you stopped being Kira, and whoever is Kira now started being Kira. But that doesn’t make any sense.” Light winced again as L pressed down a bit too hard.

“You were observed during the entirety of your confinement. You had no contact with anyone other than me. So, Kira’s power can pass between people who have never even met. In that case, the hunt for Kira will never end. Even if we catch the current Kira, someone else could just take on his power, and the chase would start again from square one.” L went silent for a moment.

“I know, beyond doubt, that you were Kira,” he repeated. “That’s all I have to go on. If there is a pattern in the transfer of Kira’s power, keeping you under close observation will be the only way to find it. But there’s only a small chance that there is a pattern. If there isn’t, then everything that we’ve done, that I’ve done, will be for nothing. It’s a game we can never win.” L grabbed the bandage from the kit and began fixing the gauze patches in place. “And that’s why I’m a little depressed.”

“Ryuzaki-kun,” Light whispered, his throat closing around the name. He grabbed the hand on his bandaged shoulder and squeezed it. L paused. “I’m sorry,” Light whispered. He wanted to turn to look at L, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to mess up L’s work. “I’m sorry for punching you. I overreacted.” L sighed and pulled his hand away.

“Don’t be, Light-kun,” he said. “Anger is a perfectly understandable response to your situation.”

“That doesn’t mean I should have taken it out on you,” Light said. “I didn’t realize how much this was affecting you, as well. I’m sorry.” L stayed silent as he finished wrapping the bandage around Light and securing it.

“I am too,” he said quietly. He leaned away from Light, but Light turned to face him. L’s legs were pulled tightly to his chest. He stared at the bed sheets, biting absently at his thumb. He looked scared.

“Light-kun…,” L started, but Light interrupted him.

“Don’t,” he said. L’s head shot up. His normally blank eyes were filled with something that Light couldn’t place. Light reached forward and grabbed L’s hands, and this time, L didn’t pull away. “When we’re alone,” Light continued, rubbing his thumb over the back of L’s hand, “drop the honorific. It’s just Light.” L stared at where their hands were joined.

“Light,” he whispered. It shone, his name, coming so naturally from L’s mouth. “You’ve ruined me.” Light didn’t have time to ask for an explanation. L provided it instantly.

“When I am with you, I can’t help but feel truly human.”

Human. Light certainly felt it as tears fell from his eyes and sobs escaped his lips. Kira didn’t feel regret. Kira would be enraged that L was still alive.

But the mask of Kira was laying at Light’s feet. So close, just in reach, yet too far to be of help.

So, Light turned and ran.

Chapter Text

“So,” Light mouthed with a grin, “did that help your investigation?” L, sitting on the chair that Light had been on earlier, only hummed.

“More or less,” he said. “More than I’m sure you’d like to think.” Light frowned, then quickly picked up a grin.

“Do you want to know something, L?” he asked. L nodded slowly. “The mask isn’t trapped,” Light taunted. “If you had tried to pull it off, nothing would have happened.” L’s eyes widened. Smug satisfaction spread through Light as he turned towards the door.

He stopped. Shadows stood outside the door. Waiting.

Light whirled around.

“I thought you said the police wouldn’t be here,” he demanded. “What is this?”

“I said nothing of the sort,” L retorted, perfectly calm. His surprise had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. “It was you who was confident enough to walk in here without assuring your safety.” L stood up and started approaching Light.

Light’s heart began pounding in his chest. His head whirled. Had he really misjudged the situation? He was trapped, L on one side and the police on the other. Light’s eyes darted around the room for any possible escape. There was nothing. L was closing in.

He stopped just inches away from Light. Light balled his hands into fists, ready to fight. But L didn’t move. Just stared at him, eyes blank. Then, something lit up in his gaze and he jerked his head to the side. Light followed the direction he’d motioned to.

A closet.

Light’s gaze met L’s again. L repeated the action, more urgent this time, and Light understood. He slipped inside the closet and shut the door quietly, blood still pounding in his ears. He was still trapped, if not more so, but Light had a strange feeling of safety as L opened the door.

“I thought I said Kira and I were not to be disturbed,” he said. A twinge of annoyance filled his voice.

“We know, but-” Matsuda’s voice rang out, quickly interrupted by:

“Ryuzaki-san, with all due respect,” Light’s father said, “you lured Kira into the open. We could have arrested him right here and now and ended everything.”

“Maybe,” L said, “but there’s two problems with that. One, if we apprehended this Kira now, there would be no way of finding the Second Kira. And two,” L paused, “you’re too late. The First Kira already left.”

Light’s heart stopped.

“Left?” Aizawa demanded. “What do you mean, left?”

“I mean he is no longer in this building,” L answered calmly. Light couldn’t hear the lie in his voice, even though he knew it was there.

“You mean, you let him see your face and then just walk away?” Soichiro asked, concerned. “Ryuzaki-san, isn’t that dangerous?”

“Kira already knows my face,” L said dismissively. Light’s heart started racing again. Does he know? How? “And he still doesn’t have my name.” Light could imagine L cutting a quick glance to where he knew Light was hiding, a smug look evident on his face.

“But I thought-” Matsuda started speaking again, and L cut him off.

“The Second Kira can kill with only a face,” he said. “The First Kira still needs a name.”

“What happened, then?” Aizawa asked. “What did Kira do?” L sighed in annoyance.

“He tricked me,” he muttered. Light smirked at that. “He tricked me, and then he kissed me.”

The Task Force all responded with shock. The trio spoke all at once, demanding answers, explanations, the story. L remained silent until everyone else had stopped talking.

“I don’t wish to discuss this any further,” he said. “What happened tonight is between me and Kira. Why he kissed me, and whether or not I reciprocated, is not important right now.” Aizawa started to speak, but L, clearly growing irritated, cut him off. “It is getting late, and it is probably best if we waited until tomorrow to say anything else.”

L was laying on top of Light, careful to rest his head on his non-injured shoulder. Light carded his hands through L’s hair, watching with fascination as the strands slipped easily through his fingers.

L’s body was warm against Light’s own. His chest rose and fell rhythmically, and his breath tickled Light’s neck. He looked so peaceful, so different from the man Light knew him to be.

Hesitantly, Light leaned forward. He brushed his lips against L’s cheek, something too chaste to be a kiss but definitely still something. L didn’t react, fast asleep. Light leaned back and let his head fall against his pillow, his heart pounding too hard.

L sighed as he ploped himself down on his chair. He hadn’t bothered to take off his disguise beyond the helmet.

Arms wrapped around L’s shoulders from behind. L jumped, then relaxed when he recognized the person behind him.

“Is Matsuda-san alright?” Light asked. His head rested against L’s shoulder.

“Probably,” L said. “He’s alive, at the very least.” Light hummed and buried his face in the crook of L’s neck. L brought a hand up to run through Light’s hair without thinking.

“That was a really smart plan,” Light said. His voice was slightly muffled but still intelligible. “You’re amazing, L.” L huffed, then he froze at the feeling of kisses being pressed against his neck. He could feel Light’s smile against his skin.

“Light…” L muttered, not sure what the rest of his thought was. Light pulled away and turned L around so that the two were face-to-face.

“You said no last time,” Light said. A fire was blazing in his eyes, threatening to suffocate L’s thoughts. “I’m asking again. I still want you, L.”

L let out a shaky breath. Light didn’t know, he reminded himself. He couldn’t know that he’d just spoken his real name.

“You are still a suspect, Light,” L said carefully, searching wildly for an excuse. “It would be… improper for me to sleep with a suspect.” L internally cringed at himself, and he knew from the disbelieving look on Light’s face that he didn’t buy it.

“Since when have you cared about what’s proper?” he asked. L bit his lip.

He’d slept with Light before, though clearly Light didn’t remember. Could that mean, then, that he’d lost his memories of being Kira along with his power? That would certainly explain the change in his behavior. Amane’s, too.

He was already too close to Light as it was. Taking him to see the snow had been a mistake, he saw that now. This was dangerous. Sex bonded people, as it was designed too. There was a very real possibility that Light would regain his memories at any point, and become Kira again. He would lose…

Light leaned forward and gently touched his forehead to L’s. L closed his eyes. Fuck it. He was going to regret this later, but for now…

L moved quickly, firmly pressing his lips against Light’s.

L stared at the slice of cake in front of him, hungry but without an appetite. Light filled his mind, smiling at him mockingly. L had just lost his Light, but he wasn’t upset. He should be, he knew that, but he wasn’t.

L jumped at the feeling of a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Watari’s concerned face looking down at him.

“Are you alright, L?” he asked. L sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“No,” he muttered. L closed his eyes and buried his face in his knees.

“What’s the matter?” Watari asked, not moving from his position by L.

“Light,” L whispered. “He’s in my head. I know he’s Kira. He has to be, because Kira couldn’t be anyone else. He’s too smart to be anyone but Light. And that’s the problem.” Light looked up and blinked tears away from his eyes. “He’s brilliant. The smartest person I’ve ever met. And he’s beautiful, and stubborn, and a quick thinker, and hardworking, and his plans are the most well-laid I’ve ever seen.” Watari remained silent for a moment.

“I hesitate to mention this,” he eventually said. “Do know that this is only my perspective. Have you considered that you might have fallen in love with Light?” L raised his head slightly.

“I have,” he said, “but I think it’s more than that. I think I have fallen for Kira.”

L peeked carefully from around the corner. Light had taken notice of the towel on the stairs. Slowly, as if he were in a trance, Light picked up the towel and brought it to his face. Light’s whole body stiffened, and after a moment, he let out a horrible scream. It was filled with rage, sorrow, regret, longing. L wanted to reach out to Light, to touch him, to hug him, to tell him that everything was okay, that he was still alive.

But he didn’t. He waited, watching, until Light looked up and spotted him.

Chapter Text

Light stared up at the ceiling as he lay on his bed. He blinked hard, trying to fight back the tears growing in his eyes. He didn’t know which was worse. That he was crying, or why he was crying.

Guilt.

Guilt was why he was crying.

Light drew in a shaky breath. He had no reason to feel guilty. L was his enemy. Of course he’d want him dead. Light should be furious that L had managed to outmaneuver his grand plan.

But Light only found himself relieved.

Light couldn’t deny that he’d missed the games he and L had played. He’d missed laying traps, trying to figure out what the other was thinking, carefully planning his movements. He’d regained some of that with Near, but it wasn’t the same. Light didn’t know why it wasn’t. The two were similar enough.

But there was no thrill in fighting with Near. There was no joy in making plans against him. It wasn’t anything like how it was with L. It was unexplainable, but there was a noticeable difference.

Light turned over on his side. He’d lost his battle against the tears in his eyes, and they rolled freely down his face.

Memories flashed before Light against his will. L, crouching in the chair next to him, revealing his true identity. L, across the tennis court, staring at Light and giving him the feeling that he was being read like a book. L, testing him at the coffee shop. L, his hand resting against Light’s jaw as they kissed in the hotel room.

Light buried his face into his pillow. It didn’t stop the flashes of L in front of his eyes. L’s voice being a strange comfort in confinement. Their first night handcuffed, awkwardly trying to fit in the bed. L sitting behind him, tending to the cut in his shoulder. The light in L’s eyes as Light pointed out the Yotsuba connection. The gentle smile on L’s face as he stared at Light on the balcony.

The feeling of L’s lips on his skin.

The warmth of L’s body close to Light’s.

The way L’s normally blank eyes lit up whenever he saw Light.

L’s soft smile and its tight hold on Light’s heart.

The quiet chuckle of L’s laugh, that Light had only heard a few times.

1. L. L. L. L.

Light screamed, the pillow muffling the wrenching sound. He clutched desperately at the pillow, as if it were L. He wanted to hug L. To touch him. To be near him.

Light, you have ruined me.

L’s voice drifted to Light’s ears. And you have ruined me, L, he thought, no true bitterness in his heart.

He was ruined, because Kira’s judgement was heartless. Ruthless. It had to be, for the sake of the world. He did what was necessary.

But then L Lawliet had walked into his life and messed everything up.

L had made him think, had made him question. L had given him a heart, but wouldn’t take one of his own.

Light was madly, desperately, in love with L.

It was insane, but as the thought occurred to Light, he knew it was true. The way his heart swelled when L smiled proved that it was. The way L kept appearing in Light’s mind proved that it was. The way Light wanted nothing more than to hold L close proved that it was.

Light sobbed into his pillow. Was this how Misa had felt? The never-ending urge to seek out L, to know him, to spend time with him.

L picked up the mask that was left on the ground. He dusted it off with the back of his hand and stared at it. A kitsune. The perfect symbol for Light. Either mischievous or benevolent. Dangerous or helpful. The enigma that surrounded Light.

Did Light know what he’d done to L?

L had been given a heart, and Light was grinning in triumph.

Chapter Text

“Anyone who defies Kira head on will be killed. That is a fact. We are not acknowledging Kira as a symbol of justice, we are simply saying that, as a country, we will not take any actions against him.”

The TV shut off. L leaned back in his chair, frowning at the screen. The room remained silent for a moment. Out of the corner of his eye, L saw Near staring intently at the screen, eyes narrowed.

The thing that caught L off guard the most was that everyone else was so surprised.

“What’s going to happen to us now?” Gevanni finally asked, breaking the silence.

“It looks like we’ve been disbanded, thanks to that chicken of a president,” Near said. His voice wavered just slightly. “No, he’s not even a chicken,” Near added after a moment. “He’s less than a maggot.”

“Whatever he is,” L said, still facing away from the others, “what’s done is done. This is not the first time we have had to deal with a lack of government support, and it certainly won’t be the last.”

“So then, what do we do?” Gevanni repeated.

“Keep investigating Kira,” Near said. He offered no further explanation, and Gevanni didn’t ask for one. L bit his lip.

“Just because we don’t have access to the same resources as before doesn’t mean we won’t keep trying,” Lidner agreed. “That just means we have to work twice as hard. Besides, this might even be a benefit. Without the FBI looming over us, we’ll have more freedom to move how we wish.”

“I agree,” L said. The rest of the conversation drifted away as L focused his stare on the mask in his hands. He could have returned it to Light directly, and used the opportunity to get close to Misa again, but he’d chosen instead to use it as leverage to get Light, as Kira, to meet with him again.

He already had contacts close to Misa, anyways.

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
19-11-12, 17:51:02

What the fuck did you do???

L frowned at the text as it popped up on his phone.

(000)-000-0000
19-11-12, 17:51:19

What are you talking about?

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
19-11-12, 17:51:23

Light is losing his damn mind

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
19-11-12, 5:51:27

What did you do

(000)-000-0000
19-11-12, 17:51:35

I don’t know. I barely had the chance to say a few words before he ran off.

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
19-11-12, 17:51:40

Well what did you say

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
19-11-12, 17:51:43

You had to have said something to get him like this

(000)-000-0000
19-11-12, 17:51:51

What exactly do you mean by “losing his damn mind”?

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
19-11-12, 17:51:56

I mean I can hear him screaming into his pillow on the other side of the wall

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
19-11-12, 17:52:05

Ive never seen him get like this

(000)-000-0000
19-11-12, 17:52:19

I see. Truly, I have no idea what I said. He might just be in shock because I am still alive.

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
19-11-12, 17:52:24

Maybe

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
19-11-12, 17:52:27

I still dont understand why you didnt let me tell him

(000)-000-0000
19-11-12, 17:52:36

You will understand soon. I promise.

L sighed as he set down his phone. He’d been making too many promises recently. Too many promises he wasn’t sure he would be able to keep.

L clutched the mask in his hands. His key to victory.

L held out the mask towards Light. Light stared at it suspiciously.

“How do I know you haven’t placed some kind of tracking device in it?” he asked. His eyes flickered up to L.

“Because it would be pointless,” L said. “I already know who you are.” Light frowned, still unconvinced.

“But the rest of the SPK don’t,” he pointed out. “You could be using this to prove to them that I’m Kira.” L smiled. I missed this, Kira. I missed us.

“Even if I did,” he said, “it wouldn’t necessarily prove that you were Kira. Kira may have planted the mask at your apartment. Or, he might have dropped it and you might have picked it up. I would have nothing to gain from tracking this, Light.”

Cautiously, Light approached L. As he neared, the urge to snatch the mask just out Light’s reach twitched at L’s fingertips. However, L kept his arm outstretched and let Light take the mask back. Light looked down at the mask in his hands, turning it over and inspecting it.

“This can’t be all you wanted to meet me for,” Light said. He looked back up at L. “What is this really about?” L ignored the warmth in his heart at that question.

“I want to talk, Light,” he said. Light gave him a suspicious look.

“You want to talk?” he repeated. L nodded. “Are you kidding?”

“No, I’m dead serious,” he said. Light’s eyebrows shot up at the phrasing.

“L…,” he started, cocking his head just slightly to the side. That’s so cute. “Did you just make a joke?” L shrugged.

“I guess I did,” he said. Light stared at him for a moment longer, then started laughing. His laughter rang out over the small clearing, echoing off of the trees. L couldn’t help but join in with his own small chuckle. Light was infectious, he decided. Addicting.

The worst drug in existence.

“I kicked your ass, L.”

L wasn’t exactly sure how much time had passed. All he knew was that he and Light were now laying side-by-side on the ground, looking up at the sky.

“Only because I let you, Light,” L said casually. “We’ve been over this.”

“Let’s have another game, then,” Light said, turning his head to look at L. “Then we’ll see if you really went easy on me.”

“Gladly,” L said, “should either of us find the time. After all, you are quite busy killing criminals, and I am quite busy stopping you.” Light sighed and looked back up at the sky.

“I guess you’re right,” he muttered. L frowned, turning his gaze to Light. He hadn’t meant to upset Light. If he was truly upset and not just putting on an act. L didn’t like seeing Light downcast like this. He hated that he didn’t.

L nudged Light with his knee.

“Do you remember the time where your father saw us wearing each other’s shirts?” he asked. Light didn’t reply for a moment, then let out a short laugh.

“Yeah, I do,” he said. L could hear the smile in Light’s voice, and he smiled too. “I think that was the first time he actually thought I might be gay.”

L could almost forget that Light was Kira. Could almost forget that he was supposed to be chasing Light. Could almost forget that this was all supposed to be only part of his plan.

Almost. And it was the almost that caused the smile to fade from L’s face as quickly as it had appeared.

Chapter Text

The light from the screens was the only light that filled the room. Each of the monitors contained the footage captured by one of the cameras located in Light’s room. L’s eyes were focused on the blurry form of Light as he wrote diligently at his desk.

“He’s writing names,” Near said from beside L.

“He was,” L agreed. “The question is how he managed to find out who the criminals were. He had no access to the news, and all the criminals he killed were broadcasted during this time.” But that’s not what I’m looking for.

The Light on screen stood up and stretched, then he made a show of putting his books away. L tracked each minor movement. There was something distinctly off about it, what made it clear to L that this was nothing more than a show to remove suspicion.

The moonlight streaming in from the window glimmered against the watch on L’s wrist as he settled into bed. L frowned. Had he ever seen Light take that watch off? L closed his eyes and flipped through his memories of Light.

Light’s lips were insistent on L’s own as Light walked them both to their shared bed. L squeezed Light’s hips, and he felt Light smile against his mouth. Light’s hands were tugging at L’s shirt. L broke the kiss to let Light slip his shirt off, though it still hung off the chain connecting them, then shoved Light back. Light landed with a soft groan.

“Ryuzaki,” he whispered, reaching up towards L. L grabbed his wrists and pinned them above Light’s head. The chain’s rattle was muffled by the sheets on the bed. Light grinned. “Do you want something?” he purred. L rolled his eyes and bent down to start pressing kisses to Light’s neck.

“Obviously,” he muttered. Light squirmed beneath him, grinding his hips against L’s. L bit back a groan. “Someone’s excited,” he commented as he pulled away from Light and stared down at him. Light whined at the loss of contact.

“One of us has to be,” he said. L tilted his head with a frown. Maybe it was just a light-hearted tease, but there was something too real in the flash of emotion that crossed Light’s face, too quickly hidden for L to label it.

“Do you think I’m not?” he asked. Light didn’t answer. L dropped his head to rest against Light’s. “You’re misinformed,” he whispered. L slowly ran his hands up Light’s sides, hitching his shirt up. “You’re nothing short of amazing, Light. Everything about you is just…” L hummed and placed a soft kiss to the tip of Light’s nose. “You take my breath away. The first person to do so, too. You’re insanely brilliant. I haven’t seen one challenge you haven’t managed to solve. You found out the connection between this new Kira and Yotsuba. You made Namikawa a mole for us, and managed to delay the deaths of Yotsuba’s next victims. You always know exactly what I’m thinking. Your mind is unparalleled.”

Light let out a long breath. L smiled at the sharp blush painting Light’s cheeks.

“Unparalleled except for you, Ryuzaki,” Light said. Light leaned forward and brushed his lips against L’s. “Don’t humble yourself. It’s not a good look on you.” L smiled and kissed Light.

“If you insist,” he whispered. L pulled away again. Light tried to chase after him, but L placed his hand on Light’s chest and pushed him back down. “Turn around,” L ordered. Light’s eyes widened, then darkened. He grinned and obeyed, turning to lay on his stomach. His hands were still resting above his head. L grabbed them and pulled them behind Light’s back. Light allowed it, but suddenly tensed when L brought his wrists together.

“Wait!” he called. L froze.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, releasing Light’s hands. Light buried his face into the bed.

“This is stupid,” he muttered. L rubbed a hand against Light’s shoulder in an attempt to encourage him. He also noticed that Light hadn’t moved his hands back. “Can you take my watch off?” Light asked abruptly. L paused and raised an eyebrow.

“Your watch?” he repeated. Light nodded.

“It was a gift from my father,” he explained. “I don’t want to damage it.” L smiled, both at Light’s sentimentality and at the implication of his concern. L leaned down and kissed the base of Light’s neck as he slipped Light’s watch off his wrist.

“Of course,” he said.

L’s eyes shot open. That’s it.

Light twirled the tennis racket in his hand from across the court, grinning at L. L grinned back. A simple, friendly tennis match. Nothing more.

And this time, that was the truth.

L had an accurate profile of Kira already, as well as one of Light. There wasn’t any need to use a game of tennis to try to get in his head anymore.

“First to six again?” L called.

“Of course,” Light responded. He shifted his stance and readied his racket, staring L down. L stared back. Light’s eyes, though locked with L’s, shifted, like he was searching for something in L’s gaze.

L could tell that Light was trying to read him. Trying to gauge his actions and his thoughts. And, as L prepared his serve, he smiled softly to himself. Light didn’t need to use the game as a test, either. He was just doing it for fun.

Two can play that game.

“6-all,” L said with a smirk as Light narrowly missed the ball. Light turned and glared at L.

“You’ve been practicing,” he said. It almost sounded like an accusation.

“Sure, Light,” L said sarcastically. “The five years I spent in hiding were spent doing nothing but playing tennis, in the event that you challenge me to a rematch.” Light rolled his eyes.

“What were you doing, then?” he asked. L avoided his gaze.

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered.

L leaned against the fence, panting. On the other side of the net, Light was laying on the ground, breathing just as hard.

“I win,” L said with a smirk. Light shot up to sit upright.

“This once,” he said. “Next time, I’ll kick your ass.”

“I’ll kick your ass,” L retorted. Light pushed himself to stand up, still glaring down L. He leaned against one of the net poles.

“I’ll take you up on that,” he said. L’s eyebrows shot up, and Light continued before he could ask. “How about we spar sometime? It’s been a while since we fought.”

“Deal,” L said, grinning. Just then, L’s phone rang. L’s gaze darted down to his bag where he’d stashed his phone, but just as quickly darted back up to Light. Light sighed.

“Guess we couldn’t have stayed here forever,” he muttered. “I’ll see you later, then?” L bit his thumb. Logically, he knew he should pick up the phone. But…

He didn’t want to leave Light.

L sighed as he leaned down to pick up his bag.

“We’ve got something!” L’s head shot up from where it had been resting on his knees at Gevanni’s voice.

“What is it?” he asked, glad for the interruption of his thoughts. The screens that were scattered around the room all flashed up the same image: three suicide notes, written in Japanese.

“The Kira Task Force just sent these to us,” Gevanni explained. “Seems like Kira has started to become more active.” L’s eyes instantly scanned the top lines of each note.

L HOW ABOUT

IN TWO DAYS

OUR NORMAL PLACE

L’s heart stopped for a moment. He knew Light was talking about the sparring session. It was the only thing he could be talking about. The others wouldn’t know that, but…

OUR NORMAL PLACE

That would spark questions.

“L, what do you think?” Near asked. L chanced a glance over at him. Near was looking up at the screens from his usual spot on the floor. Stoic. Completely unreadable.

He knows.

L frowned and returned his gaze to the screens.

“Kira has hidden a message in these notes,” L said. “If you read the top lines-”

“It spells out, ‘L, how about, in two days, our normal place’,” Near interrupted. L looked back over at him. No change in his expression was detectable.

“Yes,” L said. He mentally prepared himself from what he knew was coming.

“What?” Gevanni asked. L didn’t look at him, his gaze still trained on Near. “What does that mean? ‘Our normal place’. L?” L sighed and dropped his head back to his knees.

“Kira and I have had a couple meetings in private,” L said. “He must be referring to the place we met on those occasions.

“What?!” L bit back a groan as Gevanni and Lidner yelled in unison.

“You’ve been meeting with Kira in private?!” Gevanni repeated.

“Every day since L revealed himself,” Near said. L sighed. I should have known you’d figure it out.

“Yes,” L muttered. He heard a quick inhale from Gevanni, about to speak, but L raised a hand to cut him off. “I understand that this could be dangerous. However, Kira already knows my name and face. If he wanted to kill me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” L lowered his hand, but continued before anyone else could get a word in. “These meetings with Kira are imperative to my plan to finally catch him, as well as keeping me alive.”

Silence hung over the room, and L slumped against his chair. He glared up at the notes on screen.

Well played, Light. But this isn’t going to go the way you think.

Chapter Text

L walked through the orchard with his hands in his pockets. The wiretap resting against his chest moved uncomfortably as he walked. It had been Near’s idea, and Gevanni and Lidner had agreed too quickly for L to protest.

Hearing Light’s voice wouldn’t prove anything. Kira could control his victims before their deaths, after all. There was nothing proving that Light wasn’t under Kira’s control and just pretending to be him. Tapping into their conversation would prove nothing about Kira’s identity.

But L had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t the reason Near had suggested the wiretap.

The clearing came into view. Light was leaning against the tree, his gaze darting around. He wasn’t wearing Kira’s mask. Light’s gaze landed on L, and he smiled.

“Hey,” he said. There was an apologetic undertone in his voice, causing L to furrow his brow. “I know you told the Task Force to stay out of this, but… I’m worried about you, Ryuzaki. Especially after what happened yesterday.”

It clicked.

L shrugged.

“It’s fine,” he said. “It doesn’t look like Kira was planning on showing up, anyways.” Light smiled.

“Guess not,” he said. Light’s phone buzzed. He frowned as he reached to check his phone, then sighed. “It’s Misa,” he explained. L nodded.

“I see,” he said. Only seconds later, L’s phone buzzed.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
26-11-12, 14:31:22

Are there cameras?

L looked up at Light. Light was still looking down at his phone, his thumb hovering over the buttons. Waiting. L grinned.

(000)-000-0000
26-11-12, 14:31:34

No.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
26-11-12, 14:31:40

Is the wiretap being recorded?

(000)-000-0000
26-11-12, 14:31:51

No. It is being monitored.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
26-11-12, 14:31:56

By who?

(000)-000-0000
26-11-12, 14:32:02

Near, Gevanni, Lidner, and Rester, most likely.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
26-11-12, 14:32:10

Can you get all of them but Near away?

L hesitated. He knew Light’s plan was to get Near to distrust him.

But L needed Light to trust him more.

(000)-000-0000
26-11-12, 14:32:26

Yes. But you’re going to have to trust me.

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX
26-11-12, 14:32:34

Why?

(000)-000-0000
26-11-12, 14:32:41

We’re going to give them something to listen to.

Light looked up from his phone. He stared at L for a moment, then smiled and tucked his phone back in his pocket. L did the same.

“Sorry,” Light said. “Misa didn’t want me to come.” L scanned Light’s eyes, and settled on him telling a partial truth.

“It was dangerous for you to come here,” L agreed. “Kira knows my name and face, but he doesn’t know yours.”

“I thought you suspected me of being Kira,” Light said. The confusion in his voice was echoed on his face, and L knew it wasn’t an act.

“I do,” L said, and Light sighed, the sound annoyed but his body relieved. “I was speaking from Misa-san’s point of view.”

“How can I prove to you that I’m not Kira?” Light asked.

“With time, Light,” L said. They’d had this conversation before, but this time L knew there was no way to prove Light’s innocence. “If you are not Kira, time will make that clear.” Light frowned and looked down at the ground.

“I missed you, Ryuzaki,” he said in a stage whisper. It’s just an act, L told himself, urging down the sharp tug at his heart at the sound of Light’s voice.

“I missed you, too,” L said. Light looked up at L and met his gaze. The two stared for a moment, then Light smiled and winked. He just as quickly dropped his head again, but L got the message. Light was giving his consent. “I spent five years wanting to tell you that I was still alive.”

“Why didn’t you?” Light asked, looking up again. L started walking closer to him, catching the flash of the smile across Light’s face.

“I was waiting until Near was ready,” L said. It wasn’t the complete truth, but it wasn’t completely a lie. Light groaned, and L cupped the sides of his face. His heart was racing, but he wasn’t sure why. “Allow me to make it up to you.”

And L kissed Light. It was much too similar to their kiss on the balcony, much too passionate and tender. Light’s hands scrambled to find purchase in L’s shirt, and L felt Light grin against his lips.

“Do we really have to listen to this?” Gevanni asked. Near stared at the speaker, unblinking.

“You may leave if this makes you uncomfortable,” he said. Light’s voice sounded too similar to the second L’s for comfort. Near was certain he was putting on an act, and he wasn’t about to let him get away with it.

One by one, the others left. Lidner stayed the longest, but a high-pitched keen from Light pushed her away. Near remained, staring at the speaker and waiting.

“I think,” L whispered against Light’s bare chest, “the others would have abandoned the wiretap by now.” Light hummed, though the sound was closer to a moan, and let his head fall back against the tree. L could feel Light’s legs shaking, threatening to give out.

“Good,” Light panted. He tugged at L’s shirt. “Off, off.” L smiled and let Light pull his shirt over his head.

“I don’t remember you being the one giving orders, Light,” L said. He grabbed Light’s waist and tugged him away from the tree, harsh. Light groaned and let his head fall against L’s shoulder.

“One… one of us has to,” he said. L ran a hand up Light’s spine, grinning.

“Then get on your knees,” he whispered into Light’s ear. Light shuddered, but remained standing. L clicked his tongue in disapproval and dug his nails into Light’s hip. “Come on, Light. You’re too smart to brat at me. Get on your knees, and let me get that pretty mouth of yours around me. You know I love seeing you like that.” Light groaned, long and hard, and his knees finally gave out. Light fell unsteadily to his knees before L. L grabbed Light’s chin and forced him to look L in the eyes.

“How did you know about the wiretap?” L asked. Light smiled, though it was shaky.

“It was just a precaution,” he said. “I guessed the SPK wouldn’t be happy with you meeting me in private.”

“So you did plan that,” L breathed. Light’s grin gained form, and L narrowed his eyes. “You’re awfully cocky for someone who kneeled so easily,” he said. Light’s grin fell, and he glared up at L.

“You played dirty,” Light said, pouting. L raised an eyebrow.

“Does it bother you, Kira?” he asked. “Being beneath me?” L didn’t give Light time to answer. He tightened his grip on Light’s chin, keeping Light’s gaze firmly trailed on him. “Have you not been listening every time I’ve praised you? Those weren’t empty words. You are truly the smartest person I’ve ever met. The most beautiful. Every time I told you that you were good, I meant it. Every word of praise you have received from me was the truth. Are you bothered by being a god on your knees?” Light’s eyes widened as L leaned close.

“You are kneeling at your own altar, Kira-sama.”

Near stared. His mouth went dry. The sounds from the speaker faded away, a distant vibration.

You are kneeling at your own altar, Kira-sama.

No. He couldn’t believe this. He couldn’t believe that the words he had just heard had come from L’s mouth. The mouth of his mentor, the man who was supposed to be catching Kira.

Not sleeping with him.

Near shut his eyes tight, letting his memory of L’s words wash over him. There are many types of monsters in this world. Monsters who always tell lies… in truth, I am that monster.

Yes, that had to be it. A lie.

Because if it was the truth, Near didn’t know what to do.

Chapter Text

L knew it was getting late. He doubled-checked the time, and frowned. He needed to leave soon for his plan to work.

L glanced over at Near. His conversation with Roger popped back into his head, where he’d called Near reckless.

It seems he’d been right.

Near looked over at L and, for a moment, met his gaze. Then, Near sighed and dropped his gaze.

“You don’t approve of my tactics,” he said. L considered his response for a moment. Recently, he’d decided to start treating anything Near told him as a test. L wondered for a moment if this was how Light had felt.

“You are in charge of this investigation,” L finally said, turning away from Near. “It is not my place to approve or disapprove of your actions.”

“But you still have your opinions,” Near said. Slowly, carefully, L nodded.

“I do,” he said. “I don’t disapprove of how you are handling this investigation. You are simply making choices that I, myself, wouldn’t have made.”

“You don’t like that I’m trying to provoke Kira,” Near concluded. “Or, should I say, Yagami Light.” L stared at the floor.

“It’s a dangerous move,” he said carefully.

“You did it before,” Near pointed out. “With Lind L. Tailor. You were trying to provoke Kira.”

“I did,” L said, “and it almost cost me my life. The Lind L. Tailor plan did provoke Kira, but it also made my elimination his top priority. I am only still alive because I managed to get close to him first.” L shot another glance at Near, who was staring at his towers made of dice.

“I see,” Near muttered. “I’ll keep that in mind.” L frowned.

“You underestimate Light,” he muttered. Near didn’t respond.

Light grinned the moment he stepped outside. There was a giddy step as he walked, the thin crescent of the moon provided little light to see by. Light didn’t care, though.

Mikami Teru, you were the right choice.

Not only had Mikami shown the world what exactly Kira stood for, he’d lessened the suspicion of Light himself.

Mikami had also made the deal, making him an even greater asset. Especially since Misa had lost her eyes.

Light’s grin faded as he thought about Misa. Now that she no longer had her memories or the Shinigami Eyes, there wasn’t any need to keep her around. And with Rem gone, there wasn’t anything stopping Light from just killing her.

However, as Light thought about it, he decided it would be too suspicious if Misa died right after Near told the whole Task Force that Light was Kira. It would look like he’d just killed her to remove suspicion.

And Misa had made it clear that breaking up with her wasn’t an option.

Light sighed and dug his hands into his pockets. Misa had been an even bigger thorn in his side than L, sometimes.

The sound of nearby shouting caught Light’s attention. He looked around, and pinpointed the sound as coming from an alleyway on the other side of the street. As Light approached, he heard additional sounds that caused him to narrow his eyes and walk faster, rage pounding through his veins.

Small grunts of pain. Skin hitting skin. The horrible sound of something crunching.

Light was running by the time he reached the entrance to the alley. Blood was rushing in his ears. Three figures stood huddled together, surrounding a fourth, who was curled up on the ground. In the hands of one of the figures glittered a small blade, stained with red.

“Hey,” Light growled. Three heads shot up to look at Light. He studied each of their faces, committing them to memory. Some nerve they’ve got, Light thought. They know what will happen to them.

The fourth figure looked up at Light, and Light’s heart stopped.

L.

Heated blood rushed through Light, mixing with adrenaline and fury. A protective wave hit Light hard, and he let it. Memories of he and L flashed through Light’s mind, drowning out the already quiet voice in the back of Light’s head, reminding him that L was his enemy.

Light’s hands curled into fists. He took slow, careful steps towards the three perpetrators. Each of the three exchanged a glance, then they all dashed away. Light watched them scramble away from him and turn a corner. It didn’t matter.

They wouldn’t have much time left, anyways.

Once the sound of footsteps faded away, Light rushed to kneel down next to L. The rage seeped out of his body, replaced by worry. One of L’s eyes was blackening, and bruises and small cuts littered his body.

“L?” Light asked, a hint of desperation in his voice that he ignored. He cradled L’s body in his arms. “Are you alright?” L looked up at Light through pain-laden eyes.

“I’m fine,” L said through gritted teeth. Light rolled his eyes.

“No, you’re not,” he said.

“Why did you ask, then?” L muttered. Light ignored him.

“Can you walk?” he asked. He took L’s hesitation as a no and lifted him into his arms. L made a small noise of protest, but he wasn’t in a position to really argue.

L let Light adjust his body so Light could open the door to his apartment. Misa looked up from the couch, smiling and her mouth opening to speak. However, her smile fell, and any words faded away as she took in the full sight.

“Misa, get the first aid kit,” Light demanded. He looked down at L, who was hovering on the edge of consciousness. Misa nodded and got to her feet, the color drained from her face.

Carefully, Light laid L down on his bed. Light’s heart skipped as he saw a couple spots of blood staining L’s shirt. The flash of moonlight against a blood-stained blade appeared in Light’s mind as he grabbed L’s shirt with shaking hands.

“Can I?” he asked. L hesitated, and Light persisted. “I need to check your injuries, L. Please.” Slowly, L nodded his head. Light pulled L’s shirt over his head just as Misa entered, the first aid kit in her hands. Light had bought one “just in case” not long after officially joining the Task Force.

Light took the kit from Misa’s hands and flipped it open. He grabbed gauze, Band-Aids, and the instant ice pack before setting the rest of the kit aside. Misa hovered by the doorway.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked.

“A cup of water,” Light ordered. “And call the Task Force and let them know that L was attacked. Don’t give them any other information except that I’m handling things.” Misa nodded and rushed off.

Light’s eyes scanned L’s body. Bruises were forming all over L’s body, the highest concentration being along his chest and stomach. Small cuts also littered his skin. Most were scabbed over, but some of the deeper cuts were still bleeding. Drying blood leaked from L’s broken nose. Most worrying was the deep gash in L’s side that Light recognized as a stab wound.

“Stay still,” Light muttered. He reached for an alcohol wipe and ripped open the package. Behind him, Light heard the gentle clink of a cup being set down and the door sliding shut. “This will sting a bit.” L’s only response to the swipe against his stab wound was a soft, pained sigh.

The sound made Light’s heart seize.

“You don’t have to do this, Light,” L muttered. Light frowned down at him. Light had shifted to kneeling above L, careful not to put any pressure on his injuries. Light was pressing the ice pack to the bruises. “I’ve dealt with worse on my own.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have to,” Light said, shifting to ice the large bruise on L’s cheek. L didn’t respond.

“Was this targeted?” Light asked after a moment. “As in, did those people know who you are?” L thought for a moment, then shook his head.

“I don’t think so,” he said. “At the very least, I didn’t recognize them.” Light sighed. That made his job slightly harder, but it didn’t matter. He was willing to work for L.

He was willing to do a lot for L.

Memories sprung forward in Light’s mind at each bruise he laid the ice against. Playing tennis. Laying next to each other in the orchard. Leaning over details of the Yotsuba group. Laughing together in confinement. Leaning close to L while monitoring the security cameras. Sharing a slice of cake. Kissing on the balcony.

L promising never to leave him.

Light paused for a moment, a sharp pain tugging at his heart. L had promised to not leave Light, after telling him he was going to die. And he’d kept that promise, hadn’t he? Light bit his lip and blinked hard. He wasn’t about to cry over L again, and especially not in front of the man.

Light slipped out of the room, closing the door softly. He knew what a light sleeper L was and didn’t want to wake him. Misa was back to sitting on the couch, anxiously watching the door.

“Is he alright?” she asked. Light nodded, and Misa let out a sigh of relief.

“I need to go out again,” Light said. “Can you keep an eye on him, please?” Misa nodded, and Light gave her a small smile. “Thank you,” he said. “Call me if he wakes up before I get back. There are painkillers in the nightstand next to the bed if he asks for them.” With that, Light grabbed his wallet, a small emergency bag he’d prepared weeks ago, and left.

Luckily, the alley that L had been attacked in was right next to a restaurant that had security cameras set up outside.

Light knocked on the door and waited. It was late, but there was a chance that a janitor or security guard remained.

The door opened. A janitor, looking very confused, stood in the doorway.

“I’m very sorry to disturb you,” Light said, “but this is urgent. My name is Asahi Light, of the Kira Task Force.” Light flashed the badge in his wallet and prayed, for once, that the janitor wasn’t a Kira sympathizer. “We received information that there may be a lead regarding Kira’s whereabouts at this location. May I look through the security camera footage?”

The janitor’s eyes widened, and he stepped aside with a nod. Light flashed a grin and stepped inside.

It didn’t take long for Light to find the scene. His stomach flipped as he watched L walk down the sidewalk, seemingly absorbed in his own thoughts. The three men cornered him and shoved him into the alley. L tried to fight back, but he was quickly overpowered. Light’s jaw clenched. The three were cowards, each one of them. Couldn’t take someone on by themselves, so they had to attack in groups so that sheer numbers would guarantee their victory.

Despicable things. Barely even human. They all deserved to die. Maybe Light only had proof of this crime, but he was sure they were guilty of countless others. Criminals were always like that.

There was a clear moment when all three men’s faces were clearly visible on the camera. Light emailed a freeze frame of it to himself and grinned. This would show them what would happen when people rebelled against Light’s perfect world.

What would happen when anyone tried to lay a finger on L.

“Thank you for your cooperation,” Light said to the janitor. “This information will be very helpful to our investigation.”

“Of course!” the janitor said, smiling at Light. “You all… you’re doing good work. Kira might have the right idea, but he’s going about it all wrong.” Light hid his anger behind a bright smile.

“Thank you,” he repeated.

“You know,” the janitor continued, Light masking his annoyance with feigned curiosity, “a couple years ago, my son died at Kira’s hands. My son was in prison, but he hadn’t gotten a trial yet. His lawyer told me and my wife that there was evidence that my son had been framed, and that he was likely innocent. But then…” The janitor trailed off.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Light said. “I assure you, we are doing everything in our power to catch Kira.” Then Light turned on his heel and walked away.

Light scoffed when he was a fair distance away. Kira, kill an innocent person? It was impossible. Maybe it had been Higuchi, or Misa, if it did really happen. But Light hadn’t done that. He was certain.

Beside Light, Ryuk cackled.

As soon as he arrived back at his apartment, Light sent the frame from the security footage to Mikami, along with the instruction “Kill these three men. And make sure they know it is due to Kira’s judgement.” Then, Light slipped into his room.

L was still asleep. Light crawled into his bed next to L, keeping a careful eye on him. Despite the bruises, fresh scars, and bandages that covered L, he looked strangely peaceful asleep. Light propped himself up on his hand and watched L, before he too drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

Sunlight streamed from the window. A beam hit Light’s eyes, rousing him from sleep. Light slowly blinked open his eyes. The memories of the previous night flooded over him, and Light shot up. He turned to look at L. L was still asleep, though the furrow in his brow made him look less peaceful.

Light carefully moved off of the mattress, but L’s eyes opened when Light’s feet hit the ground. L’s gaze darted around the room. He tried to sit up, but fell back onto the bed with a hiss of pain.

“Careful,” Light said. He hurried around to the other side of the bed. “I’ve got painkillers if you want them.”

“Please,” L groaned, turning his head to keep Light in his sight. Light almost laughed, but he bit his tongue. Light pulled the painkillers from the nightstand and handed them to L, who took them gratefully along with the water Light offered. L let out another pained groan as he leaned up to take the pills.

“You think you would have learned your lesson the first time,” Light teased as he took the cup and pill bottle back from L. L rolled his eyes.

“Broken rib, I presume?” he guessed.

“Most likely,” Light said. L sighed as his hand came to rest over his side.

“Could you get me an ice pack?” L asked. Light nodded and started towards the door. L smiled and turned his head away. “Thank you, Light.” Light smiled to himself as he opened the door and walked out of the room.

Misa was already awake, watching the news on TV. She turned to look at Light as his door opened.

“Good morning, Light!” Misa said cheerfully. Light braced himself as she got up quickly and ran over to hug Light and give him a swift kiss on the cheek. “How’s Ryuzaki-kun?” she added in a low voice as she pulled away. “I called the police like you told me to, and they said that they want you to call them when you’re both awake.”

“I will,” Light said. “Ryuzaki’s in a lot of pain right now. I’m going to get him an ice pack for his broken rib.” Misa squeaked and pulled away. Light hadn’t expected her to be so squeamish without the Death Note, but he guessed he shouldn’t have been surprised.

The first aid kit lay where Light had left it the previous night, on the coffee table by the couch. As Light knelt down to dig through the kit, he caught the start of the next news segment on the TV.

“… three new victims of Kira. Their names have not been released, but their causes of deaths have. Each one died of electrocution, with a note declaring them unfit of Kira’s world…”

Light smiled to himself.

And when Light walked back into his room, L was grinning too.

“What are you smiling at?” Light asked, handing the ice pack to L. “Don’t tell me you’ve already gotten high off of the painkillers.” L chuckled, then winced from the pain.

“Wish I was,” he muttered. “That would mean they’re working.” Light laughed.

“The Task Force wants to talk to us,” he said. L groaned and draped a hand over his eyes, like a child wanting to stay in bed for “five more minutes”. “You just got attacked, L. You can’t blame them for being worried.”

“I suppose,” L sighed out. “Fine, whatever they want.”

The line only rang a couple times before the Task Force picked up. Four voices immediately started talking all at once, causing both Light and L to wince.

“One at a time,” came a soft voice, and Light tensed.

“I didn’t expect you, Near-san,” he said carefully. Light caught an amused glint in L’s eyes, and Light glared daggers back at him.

“L-san is my mentor,” Near explained. “Any danger he is placed in is highly concerning to me.” Despite his words, Near’s voice was completely flat. The knowledge that the Task Force were also on the line was the only thing keeping Light from mentioning that fact.

“Oh, of course,” Light said, forcing friendliness into his voice. “I completely understand.”

“Ryuzaki-san, are you there?” Light’s father asked.

“I am,” L said. “Before you ask, I am more or less alright. My most threatening wounds are a broken rip and a shallow stab wound that doesn’t appear to have hit any vital organs. I expect to be back on the case in a couple weeks.”

“It seems you were lucky that second L-san turned up when he did, then,” Near stated. L smiled up at Light, causing Light’s heart to warm, and nodded.

“I was,” he said. “I was very lucky.”

“That’s good to hear,” Near said, “because we were talking right before you called, and we have decided to take the notebook back from Mello.”

“Great!” Light said, sitting straight up. “When do we leave?”

“Actually, second L-san,” Near said, and Light was sure a hint of smugness slipped through his voice, “you will be staying behind.” Light bristled.

“Staying behind?” he repeated. “Why?”

“It doesn’t exactly seem like Ryuzaki-san is in a state to travel right now,” Light’s father said, “and none of us want to leave him alone right after he was attacked. We want you to stay with Ryuzaki-san and keep an eye on him.”

Light pulled the phone away from his face for a moment and took a deep breath. He waited until he could gather himself enough, then returned to the call.

“You want me to act as Ryuzaki-kun’s bodyguard?” Light asked. He caught L slap a hand over his own mouth to stifle a laugh and shot him a glare.

“Something like that,” Near said. Light’s jaw tightened.

“Okay.”

Light hung up the phone and glared over at L. L met his gaze with eyes that sparkled in glee.

“Did you plan this?” Light hissed. L shook his head, his eyes still bright.

“As entertaining as this is,” he said, “this arrangement is equally detrimental to me as it is to you. Kira.” Light narrowed his eyes at L and huffed.

“I hate you,” he declared. No true venom lined his words, and Light had no doubt that L noticed it.

Chapter Text

A week had passed since L was attacked. He was able to more or less walk around freely, so long as he regularly took painkillers. Both L and Light were, in essence, confined to Light’s apartment. It was just like being handcuffed again, but with Light being the one keeping an eye on L.

Not that there was much to keep an eye on. L hadn’t been up to much in the week he’d been under Light’s “protection”. He’d complained about boredom the first couple days, causing Light to pull out a chessboard one day and challenge L to a match. The game lasted 4 hours, ultimately resulting in Light winning. L, ever the sore loser, had accused him of cheating and immediately demanded a rematch.

The two soon developed a routine. Light would check L’s wounds in the morning, then pretend to research Kira (along with L looking over his shoulder and teasing him), and then the two would start a game of chess.

And that was bothering Light.

Not the routine, but what L did. Which was nothing. He would “assist” in Light’s research, but would rarely conduct any of his own without Light asking him to. He wasn’t trying to investigate Light, he wasn’t trying to keep an eye on Light, he wasn’t doing anything. It was like he’d been those first two months after Light’s confinement, except L wasn’t depressed. He was relaxed, hanging out with Light like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like Light wasn’t Kira.

Or, like he’d already caught Kira. And that disturbed Light, nagged at his thoughts when he tried to sleep, along with L’s cryptic statement just three days into the new arrangement.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” L asked. Light turned around in his chair to face the man still laying on his bed.

“What does?” Light asked. L pointed at the laptop in front of Light.

“That,” he said, “Pretending to look into leads, knowing they’re all fake. It must be maddening for someone like you. You’re so smart, but you have to waste your time on this. Doesn’t it bother you?”

Light sighed and shut his laptop. He considered his answer for a moment. In truth, L was right. It was frustrating, without L watching his every move. It had been fun to carefully plan each of his movements, each of his words, but Light didn’t have that anymore. Even now that L was back, he already knew who Light was, even if he couldn’t prove it. There wasn’t anything to hide, and it was boring.

But Light wasn’t about to admit to that.

“I don’t know all the leads are fake,” Light said, deciding to play coy. “How could I, L? It’s not like I’m Kira, or anything.” L laughed, a laugh far too similar to the one he’d let out when he’d seen Misa with Light.

“No, of course not,” he agreed. “It’s not like I have proof that you’re Kira. How silly of me.”

“Can you guarantee that Yagami is not listening to our conversation?” Near asked. L played with the sheet beneath his unoccupied hand, staring at the fabric as it moved under his hand.

"I can’t,” he said. “This is his apartment, after all. I doubt he can hear what you are saying, though.”

“Good,” Near said. “We’ve finalized the plan to retrieve the notebook from Mello. It should go into effect soon. I’ll send you details of the plan when we’re done.”

“Is there anything I should be aware of now?” L asked. His gaze drifted to the closed door. A smile pulled at the corners of L’s lips as he pictured Light leaning against it, straining to hear the conversation.

“Yagami Soichiro is going to make a deal that will enable him to see the possessor of the notebook,” Near said. L knew it was a test, and he didn’t care. “From my understanding, it will also enable him to see the names of anyone whose face he sees. It is the same power that second and third Kira had.”

“As well as the current one,” L added.

“So there is a fourth?” Near pressed.

“There has to be,” L said. His gaze was still fixed on the door. He grinned as he pictured Light’s reaction, likely somewhere between shock and alarm.

“I see. I’ve had suspicions of there being a fourth for a few days. Whatever proof you have can wait until you are no longer near Yagami Light.” Near paused, then continued. “I have a question, L. Something has been bothering me.”

“What is it?” L asked, though he already knew what the question was and already knew what his response had to be.

“When you and Kira met, you said something to him. “You are kneeling at your own altar.” I’m not going to pretend I know the full context that led to you saying that, but I’m also not going to pretend that I’m stupid. I know what that means, L. I just want to know if it was a lie.”

“Of course,” L said. “Of course it was.”

But no thought of guilt pricked at the back of L’s mind as he told Light every detail of the plan. Though he knew it should, no new burden fell on L’s shoulders.

Two days later, L and Light were playing another round of chess when both of their phones rang. Both picked up, and both had the same reaction to the news delivered.

“Yagami Soichiro has been severely injured. He is currently under care at a hospital in America.”

Light stood up immediately once he hung up his phone.

“L,” he said, “I want to go to America to see my father.”

“Of course,” L said, he too getting to his feet. “I’ll make arrangements to get us there immediately. Pack what you need.”

Light didn’t need to pack. He’d created an emergency “go-bag” some time ago in case he needed to go on the run at a moment’s notice. However, he nodded and slipped into his room.

Light sent a quick order to Mikami, then made sure to remove all traces of his message. Briefly, Light wondered if he’d done the same when he’d told Mikami to kill L’s attackers, but he brushed the thought aside. Of course he had.

Light took a deep breath, then whispered:

“I relinquish my ownership of the Death Note.”

Chapter Text

L and Light landed in America just 3 hours after receiving the news of Yagami Soichiro’s injury. The two were split up immediately, with Light being taken by Mogi and Aizawa to the hospital where his father was staying, and L being taken by Rester and Gevanni to where the SPK had set up temporary headquarters.

Near quickly caught L up on the details of how the plan had gone down. Things had mostly gone well, until the members of the Mafia had started dying mid-negotiation. The Mafia assumed that the negotiations were a trap, and had opened fire. L feigned surprise.

Near had barely finished his explanation when Rester altered them to movement on the security cameras. Near and L spun around.

There, on the monitor, was Lidner, held at gunpoint by a cloaked figure.

Mello.

“What should we do?” Rester asked. Near’s gaze was fixed on Mello.

“Let him in,” he said.

The door slid open. Rester and Gevanni had their guns drawn and pointed at Mello as he walked in. Mello met their gazes, a challenge in his eyes.

“Mello. Welcome,” Near muttered.

“Drop your weapon!” Rester ordered. Mello didn’t respond, only pressed the tip of his gun harder against Lidner’s head.

“Everyone, please put away your guns,” Near said with a sigh. “Having a shoot-out here would achieve nothing.”

“I agree,” L said. Mello’s gaze shot to him, and his eyes narrowed.

“Remember that our primary objective is still to catch Kira,” Near added. Mello scoffed.

“That’s rich,” he growled. L saw both Gevanni and Rester toss him a quick glance, but he ignored them. Tense silence fell over the room again, before Rester sighed and lowered his gun. Gevanni and Mello followed suit.

“It seems like things have been going just as you planned, Near,” Mello said, an accusation clear in his voice.

“Not as much as I’d like,” Near responded. “The deaths of your associates were not planned by us. Kira must have found out about our plan and taken action.”

“And how exactly did he find out?” Mello challenged. His gaze again slid to L. L met his gaze, but he felt his stomach drop.

“We’ve had that question ourselves,” Near said. His gaze remained fixed on the ground, but L couldn’t shake the feeling that the statement was directed at him.

“I came to take back that picture you have,” Mello said. He didn’t take his sharp glare off of L.

“Of course,” Near said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture. “There is only one and no copies were made. I’ve already gone ahead and dealt with everyone who knows your face, both inside and outside Wammy’s house. They’ll keep quiet.” Near tossed the picture back to Mello, who caught it while still staring at L. “I can’t say a hundred percent for certain,” Near continued, “but it shouldn’t be possible for you to be killed by the notebook.” Mello finally turned his eyes to Near.

“Near, let’s get one thing straight,” he said. “I have no intention of working together with you on this. At the same time, I can’t just take my photo and leave. That wouldn’t be right. So, I’ll settle my debt.”

Mello remained silent for a moment, gaze still focused on Near.

“You have a security leak,” he finally said.

“We are aware,” Near said.

“That security leak is standing right next to you,” Mello continued, his gaze shooting back to L. This time, everyone else followed his gaze. Five pairs of eyes stared at L, watching.

“It was my understanding that L was giving some information to Kira in order to gain his trust,” Near said. Mello scoffed.

“But it’s more than that,” he sneered. “He’s in love with Kira.”

L bit his lip and sighed. His head dropped, but he could still feel the stares directed at him. It was only a matter of time, he concluded, before one of them figured it out. L fought for an answer, but he couldn’t find the words.

“You’re out of line, Mello,” Rester snapped. “There’s no way that-”

“No,” L interrupted. Five stares bored into him. “He’s correct.” Quiet sounds of surprise came from Lidner, Gevanni, and Rester. No sounds came from Mello or Near. “Over the course of my investigation, I have found myself infatuated with Kira. I can’t explain why, I just know that I am.”

Another lie. L knew exactly why and how he’d fallen.

Silence hung heavy over the room. It was suffocating, squeezing at L’s lungs and making it hard to breathe. Undeniable proof of Kira’s identity rested on L’s tongue, mocking L with its silence. A loaded gun L knew he couldn’t fire.

“Sort out your priorities before you continue,” Mello said, then he turned on his heel and walked away. The sound of Mello’s footsteps faded away, leaving the SPK in complete silence.

“L?” Near finally said. L looked up. Four pairs of eyes looked back at him. “You are formally removed from the SPK.” Gevanni, Lidner, and Rester all exchanged a glance, but all three remained silent. “I would like you to leave immediately.”

L nodded, and without protest, padded silently out of the building.

L sat on a bench, staring at the browning leaves as they fluttered down around him. The early December air was sharp as it cut through L on the breeze. The park L had found himself in was dead quiet. No one else was around, no animals poked their heads out from their dens, no sign of life made itself known.

L was alone.

He rested his chin on his knees and stared blankly forward. He didn’t know why he was so surprised. Near had been suspicious of his involvement with Kira for a while. Kicking him off the SPK wasn’t a completely unreasonable reaction.

What was unreasonable was why L wouldn’t tell Near that Light was Kira.

He had the proof he’d been spending years searching for. The “criminals”, actually people with clean records that L had hired, that had attacked him were dead at Kira’s hands. The janitor he’d paid had told him that Light was the only person who looked for the security footage, which was then wiped. Even if Light hadn’t been the one to write their names, he must have been the one to order their deaths. He was the only one who could have.

So then, why didn’t L say anything?

L drew his legs tighter to his chest. If he really thought about it, L knew the answer. It was the same reason Light had taken care of him. The same reason Light had wanted his attackers dead. The same reason Light had collapsed into tears when he’d seen the towel on the stairs.

The same reason Light had kissed him on the balcony.

“I just want to know if it was a lie.”

“Of course. Of course it was.”

L had lied to one of them. He just wished that he could say that he knew. He wished he could turn Light in right then, wished that he could have told Mello that he was wrong.

But Mello wasn’t wrong. There was a seizing in L’s heart when he thought about Light getting arrested and found guilty. Something in the back of L’s mind screamed when he thought about Light inevitably being sentenced to death. A sharp tug yanked at his heart when he thought about Light’s eyes turning blank and lifeless.

Just like that tug that had pulled at him when Rem had told him Watari needed to die.

That tug returned as the thought crossed L’s mind, sharper and more insistent. Since his death, L had tried not to think about Watari. He had convinced himself that if he forced himself to move on, to act unaffected by the death of the man that had raised him, that had been the closest he’d had to a friend until Light came along, that his grief wouldn’t last.

But the tears that raked down L’s cheeks, burning two unsteady tracks into his face, proved him wrong. The fire that roared in his heart proved him wrong, laughing at his naïve dismissal.

L had let Watari die. He hadn’t argued. Hadn’t put up any fight. He’d agreed to let Watari die, so that he could spend five years in hiding. Watari was dead, and it was all L’s fault.

Just like those five years that Light had been roaming free.

Just like Rem’s death.

Just like A’s.

Just like the three innocent people who L had sacrificed to prove Kira’s identity.

And what had those people died for, really? If L’s heart, suddenly alive after a lifetime of forced dormancy, made him keep his mouth shut, weren’t those people’s blood on his hands? Didn’t that make him a murderer, no better than Kira himself?

L’s head fell to his knees as tears continued to stream from his eyes. No matter how hard L tried to stop them, once they started, they kept falling, like lemmings off a cliff.

He’d never tried to be better than Kira, L told himself. A pitiful attempt at self-soothing, a skill he’d never believed himself to need. He’d never tried to be better than anyone. But he had tried to only take drastic measures when necessary. He didn’t let people die unnecessarily.

But he also didn’t let his feelings get in the way of solving his cases.

He’d won. L had the trump card, had the ability to prove that Light was Kira. But he couldn’t play it. In L’s mind, he saw Light sitting across from him at the chess board the previous night. A sparkle was in Light’s eye, one of exhilaration and bliss. The same feeling was reflected in L himself. The image morphed until Light was replaced by the kitsune mask he’d put on, grinning at him with empty eyes. The chess pieces had changed too, now resembling the people both sides had used.

Three of L’s pawns, recently captured, stared up at him with innocent, pleading eyes.

L struggled to recall the names. Amai Takeji. Kitani Shun. Saza Haru. Each syllable dug thorns into L’s heart, pressing and pressing until he cracked from the pressure.

A throbbing pain started pulsing at the right side of L’s chest. He vaguely thought that he should be taking another dose of his painkillers at around that time.

The bottle rested in L’s pocket. He ignored the light weight of it, and let the pain of his broken, barely healing rib emanate. There was something bittersweet about the pain, some strange sense of having earned it.

L knew Light would fuss over him when they met back up again. Even if it didn’t make any sense. His Light, the one that worried about him, was gone. He was killed by Kira, and he wasn’t coming back. Whatever show of concern Light had shown him was just that. A show. An act.

Even if the Light that had sat next to L on the airplane was too similar to the Light that had been handcuffed to him. Even if Light hadn’t fussed this much even when he’d first found him.

L dug his fingers into his hair. The minor pain pulled him from his thoughts. He wouldn’t let himself think that. Wouldn’t let himself believe his Light was, or could ever be, back.

He wouldn’t allow himself the delusional hope of thinking there could be a future for him, where he and Light were not opposed, but side-by-side.

Kira smiled at L, sickly sweet. The poison that dripped from his lips was pumping through L’s veins as he watched, laughter in his eyes. Victory was etched on his face, even as his wrists were bound.

L realized, then, truly how ruined he’d become. The world’s greatest detective, removed from the very investigation he’d started. Heart bound in chains by the very person he was supposed to catch. If he let Light run free, he’d be disgraced. If he turned Light in, he would lose himself.

Light had been the only thing keeping him sane. The game of cat-and-mouse, where who was the cat and who was the mouse was never clearly understood, was the only thing keeping him alive. The case was the only thing keeping him from crumbling under the weight of the guilt that was piled on top of him, growing with every passing day.

L knew that there had to be a line between good and evil. Detective and criminal. Love and hate. But L had lost sight of that line long ago.

And now, it was so blurred he was starting to question if it really had existed in the first place.

Chapter Text

L was a master of deceit. He prided himself on it, on how easily he could lie, and how quickly those lies were accepted as truth.

But L hadn’t accounted for fooling himself.

At this point, he didn’t even know what was true and what was a lie. Had he lied to Near? Or had he lied to Light? If L thought about it long enough, he could convince himself of either possibility.

He knew he admired Kira. Someone able to keep up with him, challenge him, make him step back and rethink. But did that admiration cross over into love? Or worship?

You are kneeling at your own altar, Kira-sama.

Those words hadn’t been empty. L knew that much. He knew there was some weight to them, some truth to back him up. But had he fully meant it? The words had fallen out of his mouth before he’d really thought about them.

And to L, lies came easier than the truth.

I can’t lie to you, Light.

The biggest lie he’d ever told.

L hissed through his teeth as the pain burning at his side made itself more insistent. The pain coiled around his chest, making it hard to breathe. L didn’t care. Even if he did, he couldn’t move his body to do anything about it. His racing thoughts smothered him like a dense fog, making the simplest movement of his body take too much effort. The world around him had faded away, leaving only L and thoughts of Light.

Light, sitting across from him at the café, then Light, sitting next to him as they watched the Yotsuba Group’s meeting.

Light, asking to be detained, then Light, making Namikawa a mole.

Light, hidden behind the white mask and the smirk on his face unreadable, then Light, bright eyes shining as he stared at L like he was the only other person in the world.

L craved it. All of Light, every part of him, he wanted. He missed the early stages, when he and Light hand moved carefully, still not knowing who the other was, each trying to figure the other out. He missed watching Light with a keen eye, trying to look for a single slip up. He missed Light leaning over his shoulder, pointing out a pattern on the screen.

He missed it, and he wanted it. Selfishly. Greedily.

L bit his lip and pulled harder at his hair. He’d never felt like this before, not towards another person. He’d had things before that he wanted, of course. Answers, suspects proven guilty, the satisfaction of knowing he was right. But now, L wanted Light.

It was addicting. Exhilarating. Terrifying.

Vaguely, L recalled a description of ethylene glycol poisoning he’d read. The taste is sweet, and often victims don’t know that they’ve been poisoned until it’s too late.

L felt it now. He’d been caught up in the sweet thrill that hunting Kira, that hunting Light, had awarded him. The intoxicating feeling that came from finally playing a game with someone who knew the rules as well as you did, when for years you’ve been playing with beginners.

But now L was ruined, beyond repair. The poison had taken its effect, and it would pull L down until he was nothing.

L was sitting in his chair, staring absently at the screen. The names of new victims flashed up before him, but L couldn’t bring himself to care. Suddenly, darkness filled L’s vision. He thrashed around in a panic, trying to locate his assailant, but a soft voice in his ear stilled him.

“It’s just me, Ryuzaki,” Light’s voice whispered. L relaxed, though he still tried to shake off the fabric Light had slipped over his eyes. L felt the cold chain trail down his arm, then felt something hard nudge against his hand. L turned his hand so the object rested against his palm, then curled his fingers around it.

“What is this?” he asked.

“A puzzle box,” Light said. “But you’re not allowed to look at it to solve it. That’s the challenge.” L shifted in his seat, not quite sitting up straight, but more awake. Engaged. Carefully, L felt for the box with his other hand and started to run his fingertips along it, trying to gauge the details of it.

“Did you make this, Light-kun?” he asked as his fingers found the hinge that opened the box.

“Maybe,” Light said, and L could hear the grin in his voice, “and, Ryuzaki, it is just Light.”

“Right, sorry,” L said halfheartedly, fully engaged in the mystery of the box in his hands.

“You’re smiling,” Light whispered, fondly, almost like a secret.

L sobbed as the memory, nearly forgotten, resurfaced. Just days after their fight, and the confession in their room moments later. Light had emerged, just like his name, as a beacon in the darkness, presenting L with a distraction from his boredom. Just like he’d done when he’d first donned the mantle of Kira. Ever the savior Light wanted to be, L supposed.

It clicked, then. L found the line, and he knew beyond doubt that he had lied to Near. Light was L’s buoy, and L was desperately clinging to it, desperately searching for something to make his life feel worth living.

L understood, then, how Misa must have felt. How she must still feel. Understood, because he felt the same. Knew what that undying devotion, even when standing on complete opposite ends of the battlefield, must bring.

If L told the truth only once in his life, it would have been telling Light that he made him feel human.

Since childhood, L had always felt different from others. Not just because of his intellect, but a fundamental difference that separated L from other people. Even Watari.

Except for Light. His equal in mind, body, and spirit. If soulmates existed, Light was undoubtedly L’s. Romantically or otherwise, there was no doubt that the two were connected. Even without the handcuffs, they couldn’t get rid of each other. It was a never-ending cycle, a never-ending game. Even when Light had tried to end it, L had stayed one step ahead. The game had continued.

Light made him smile. Light made him laugh. Light made his heart swell and his body feel warm.

And L broke down then. Sobbed and cried and shook with long-suppressed agony as tears rushed down his face like they fell from a river. Because no matter what, L could never have Light. Because Light was Kira, and Kira had killed Light.

L’s thoughts faded, and all of L’s senses were filled with the stinging of his eyes, the ever-growing bite of pain at his side and in his scalp, the horrible sound of his desperate gasps for air.

Until a new sound cut through, like a crack of sunlight through the storm clouds. A voice so distant, yet so close. Light’s voice, calling his name.

“Ryuzaki? L!”

L slowly raised his head, but he could barely see through his water-stained vision. A strong but thin pair of arms wrapped around him. L couldn’t make out much, but all he knew was that Light was by his side, hugging him.

“It’s okay, L,” Light’s voice whispered, and L didn’t think it was even possible to cry harder than he was already crying, but he did. He wailed into Light’s shoulder, trembled in his grasp.

Because L knew, by an unknown means, that this was his Light. The same Light that had given him that puzzle was the Light pulling him close to his body, muttering soft words into his ear.

“Deep breaths, L. Deep breaths.”

“It’s going to be okay, L.”

“I’ve got you. You’ll be okay.”

“I promise.”

L felt gentle hands pry his own from his hair, and instead he dug them into Light’s shirt.

“That’s it. Breathe, L.”

“I’m here. I’m not letting go.”

“I promise.”

L knew then. He decided, made his choice. He didn’t care how, but he’d gotten his Light back, and that meant it was possible.

This was the Light he loved. This Light was the one who challenged his plans and argued with him. The one who smiled and laughed with him. The one who always had a spark in his eye, even in the darkest moments.

L was enamored with Kira. Infatuated with him. But time would prove those feelings unstable, and they would fade. L would be left with nothing but an invisible scar as Kira was sentenced to death, and he would follow suit. He worshipped Kira.

But L Lawliet loved Yagami Light. Loved him more than anything else. Kira had worked his way into L’s mind, but Light had firmly planted himself inside his heart, making its presence insistent to L.

Kira had taken his Light from him. But L would do whatever it took to get him back.

No matter what.

L didn’t know how long he sat there, sobbing into Light and hearing the soft words whispered back, grounding him to reality. He stayed clutching at Light long after his eyes had dried up and he had no more tears left to cry.

But eventually, L pulled away. When he saw Light’s face, contorted with worry, but clearly putting on a brave face for L’s sake, he almost went back to sobbing again.

But L wiped his eyes and let out a shaky breath.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Light asked. He sat himself next to L, keeping one arm around him as if to protect him.

“Not really,” L muttered, leaning into the warm body of Light next to him. “I just want you to stay with me.”

“Of course,” Light agreed. He pressed a soft kiss against L’s forehead, hesitant, and when L sighed and let some of the tension leak out of his body, he did it again with more confidence. L closed his eyes, and let a dozen plans and scenarios slide before his eyes.

L opened his mouth, but before he could say anything a finger was brought to his lips. L opened his eyes to see Light staring down at him, one eyebrow raised.

“If you are about to apologize,” Light said, a clear warning in his voice, “I don’t want to hear it.” L smiled as he shut his mouth. He buried himself into Light’s side and winced as his broken rib screamed its protest.

“Are you alright?” Light asked immediately. L sighed and gestured to his side. Light got the hint and frowned. “Did you miss your last dose?” he asked. Light turned and dug in his bag, searching for something. “Here, I brought more.”

“Of course you did,” L whispered quietly. Light turned and shot him a look, then paused. His sharp gaze softened, and he smiled. Light pulled the small bottle from his bag and handed it to L.

Kira drove L to tears, but Light pulled him back.

“How is your father?” L asked, his voice scratchy and dry. Light’s smile grew.

“Alright,” he said. “Stable. The doctors said that if we keep a close eye on him, he might actually make it.” L leaned his head against Light’s shoulder, the warmth in his chest overwhelming him and numbing the pain in his side.

“That’s good to hear,” he said.

Three days later, Yagami Soichiro did not make it.

Chapter Text

Light was silent on the plane ride back to Japan, his empty gaze trained out the window. L sat next to him, trying not to make his staring obvious.

He wanted to do something. Wanted to comfort Light the way Light had comforted him only a few days before. But he had no idea how. Light was absent, stuck in his own world. If this was an act…

L shook his head. No, it wasn’t. He knew Light, and he knew beyond doubt, beyond reason, that Light wasn’t acting his grief. He knew the Yagami Light sitting next to him was the Yagami Light who was untouched by the notebook. L closed his eyes.

Light’s behavior had changed after he’d packed his things. That must have meant the possibility of his father dying had caused him to give up Kira’s power. Was that permanent, or only temporary? If L assumed that Light lost his memories of being Kira when he lost the notebook, everything made a lot more sense. Light must have reasoned that L would be able to tell if his grief was fake, even if no one else could. Therefore, he would have set up the notebook to be returned to him after what would seem to be a reasonable mourning period.

L guessed he had about a week to act.

It was highly unlikely that the notebook would be sent directly to Light. That meant that the new Kira would likely contact Misa first, and then she would give Light the notebook.

But monitoring everyone that Misa has contact with would be impossible. All it would take would be a crowd of paparazzi surrounding her, and the notebook could slip into Misa’s hands entirely unnoticed. From there, as Light’s girlfriend, Misa would have every reason to be alone with Light, and then…

L sighed, irritated. There would be no way for him to stop Light becoming Kira again.

The plane landed with a jolt, and L was brought back to the present. Light barely reacted, unnaturally still.

He could worry about Kira later. Right now, Light was L’s top priority.

The room was silent as Light and L entered Light’s apartment. Misa was working, which left the two of them alone. Light hadn’t left L’s side since arriving back in Japan, but once the door was closed, he stood completely still.

Even so, it looked like Light might fall over at any minute. His eyes were blank and dull. Lifeless. His weight shifted aimlessly between his feet, like he was just hovering over reality.

L grabbed Light’s hands.

“Light,” he said gently. Light blinked and shifted a half-focused gaze down at him. “Come sit down, please.” Light didn’t respond, but let L guide him to the sofa and sit him down. Not quite sure what to do with himself, L crouched down in front of Light. He stroked his thumbs over the back of Light’s hands, trying to ground him.

Slowly, Light’s eyes became more focused as he was coaxed back to the present.

“L,” he breathed, like a sigh held in for too long. L realized then that Light had been holding back. He gave Light a soft smile and kissed his hands, delicate and careful.

“Let go,” L urged, and Light did just that. He sat crying on the couch as L sat before him, echoing the soft reassurances Light had given to him.

“Please don’t leave,” Light whispered, and L squeezed his hands in response.

“I promised you I wouldn’t, didn’t I?” he said, and Light sobbed harder.

The next day, L was sitting in front of Light, his bare back towards the other man. Light’s fingertips ran gently along L’s scabbed over cuts and barely-there bruises.

“Does this hurt?” Light asked for the fifteenth time. L bit back an exasperated sigh and shook his head. “Good,” Light said, half to himself.

“You don’t have to do this, Light,” L said. “I’ve mostly healed.”

“I know,” Light muttered.

“You don’t need to worry about me right now,” L said. Light sighed and leaned back.

“How do I explain this…? I like taking care of you. It gives me something to do, and it just makes me… feel good. And I really need that right now.” L didn’t respond. He simply leaned into Light’s next touch, and let Light press an ice pack to a slightly swollen bruise.

Light’s head rested in L’s lap. The two were laying on Light’s bed, “watching” the news. L carded his hand though Light’s hair, staring down at him. His hair was oily, not as soft as it used to be. L couldn’t remember the last time either of them had taken a shower.

“The funeral is tomorrow,” Light said, breaking the silence. L nodded. Light bit his lip, then continued. “Can you promise not to tell anyone else this?”

“Of course,” L said. “You know I can keep a secret.” Light smiled at that, small and strained.

“I don’t want to go,” he whispered. “It’s just… too much too soon, and I can’t- I don’t know how I’d respond.” Tears started forming in Light’s eyes, but he blinked them harshly away.

“I understand,” L said. Light didn’t respond. He’d stopped responding to L’s touch altogether, and was simply staring blankly up at the ceiling. L frowned as he kept stroking Light’s hair. An idea suddenly sprung into L’s mind when he remembered Light’s words a few days before.

I like taking care of you.

“Light,” L said, urging Light back from his thoughts. It took Light a moment, but he blinked and looked up at L.

“Yes?” he said, voice bland and flat.

“I want to take a shower,” L continued, “but my broken rib has been acting up all day. Could you help me?” L looked down at Light expectantly. Light searched his gaze for a moment, then a light sparked in his eyes and a soft smile formed on his face.

L’s heartrate picked up.

“Of course,” Light whispered, leaning up to kiss L.

L ran a comb through Light’s damp hair, watching with rapt fascination as the dark strands parted around the bristles. Light let out pleased sighs every now and then with each gentle stroke.

L was meticulous as he brushed out Light’s hair. He ran his fingers through Light’s hair after each stroke from the brush, feeling it slowly dry and watching as the soft brown of its color returned. His hair always looked almost black when it was wet.

When the moonlight hit Light just right, the shine against the water droplets made it look like a halo formed around his head. L leaned forward and kissed the top of Light’s head. Light gave a half-surprised, half-contented hum in reply.

Light had fallen asleep while L brushed out his hair. Smiling, L laid Light back in his bed. He hadn’t slept well since returning to Japan, for understandable reasons. Light slept peacefully, the first time that L had seen Light look content since Soichiro’s death. He smiled and kissed Light’s cheek as he pulled away.

“I love you,” L whispered into the air, choking around the words.

Three days later, L watched in silent resignation as Misa pulled Light away from the living room after coming home from work. He sighed, then pulled out his phone and texted:

(000)-000-0000
7-12-12, 17:41:15

I want to meet with you.

Chapter Text

Sayu was busy with homework when her phone buzzed. Not her personal phone, though. The one she’d been given to use to contact L. Quickly, Sayu grabbed her phone and checked it.

(000)-000-0000
7-12-12, 17:41:15

I want to meet with you.

Excitement flashed through Sayu. She’d never gotten to meet L face-to-face, instead always being told to text him with updates on Light. Immediately, Sayu responded:

(AAA)-AAA-AAAA
7-12-12, 17:41:20

When and where???

In reply, Sayu received a photo of a long-abandoned warehouse and “As soon as possible”. Sayu huffed in minor annoyance, but a quick search revealed the location of the meeting place. It wasn’t far from her house, about a 5-minute walk. Quickly, Sayu packed a bag with basic necessities, and left.

Sayu wasn’t quite sure how she felt. Nervous? Excited? Apprehensive? Sure, she’d spoken to L before, but it was over the phone, not in person. It was how he’d recruited her in the first place.

Sayu sat next to her father at the table, her heart pounding in her chest. She’d received a phone in the mail, completely empty and inoperable except for a single contact number. Instantly, she’d handed it over to Soichiro, who suggested she call the number with him present to guide the conversation. The phone rang, the sound echoing around the empty kitchen. Sayu almost felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Finally, the line was picked up.

“Yagami Sayu-san?” the caller asked. Their voice was scrambled through a voice filter, and Soichiro’s eyes widened as he heard it. Quickly, he scribbled down a note on the piece of paper in front of Sayu.

That’s L.

Sayu’s breath caught in her throat. What did L want from her?

“Yes,” she said.

“You are studying to be a lawyer, is that correct?” L asked. Sayu hesitated, looking over to Soichiro, who nodded for her to answer honestly.

“Well, that’s the plan,” she said. “Though I’m still in high school right now.”

“Your father is Yagami Soichiro-san, who is likely with you at this moment, overhearing our conversation,” L stated. “Am I correct?” Sayu again looked to Soichiro, who cleared his throat.

“Yes, L-san,” he said.

“And you have confirmed to her that I am L?” It was a question, but it was stated as fact. Like L knew exactly how both Sayu and her father would react to this situation.

“I have,” Soichiro said.

“Then I ask you give us a moment in privacy,” L requested. Soichiro hesitated, then nodded. Sayu caught a small smile on his face as he stood up and left the room. Sayu took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves.

“My father is gone,” she said.

“Good,” L said. “It is very important that no one knows of what I am going to say to you. This is imperative to my plan to catch Kira. Do you understand?” Sayu nodded, then quickly realized that L couldn’t see her.

“I understand,” she said. It surprised her, how calm and even her tone was, despite how nervous she felt.

“The person currently operating as L is not me.” Sayu swore her heart stopped beating for a moment. L didn’t wait for her reply. “Your brother, Yagami Light-san, is acting in my place. He is doing this as he, as well as the rest of the Task Force, believe I am dead.”

It was like something ripped straight from the crime dramas Sayu had started getting into. The ones that had made her want to be a lawyer in the first place.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Sayu asked once she got a grip on her voice again.

“It is in my best interest to keep the entire Task Force under the impression that I am still dead,” L said. He hesitated for a moment, a drawn-out pause that felt like it lasted much longer than it did. “But… I am worried about Light-kun. The two of us grew close while we worked on the investigation, and I would like someone to keep an eye on him for me. Can you do that?”

“Of course!” Sayu answered quickly. “You just want me to keep you updated on how Light is doing?”

“Exactly,” L said. “When you contact me, please do so from this phone. It is designed to not be tracked from either end, so it will keep both of our identities safe.” Sayu nodded.

“I will,” she promised.

“And,” L added, “from now on, you may consider yourself a temporary member of the Kira Task Force.”

The warehouse seemed empty on first glance, but when Sayu slipped inside, someone was standing there, waiting.

Is that really L?

He wore baggy clothes. A simple white, long-sleeved shirt and dark blue jeans. His black hair was a mess, like he ran a brush through it only once when he woke up. His skin was pale, almost sickly so. He stood awkwardly, slumped forward and his hands buried in his pockets. The only thing that made him seem slightly like what Sayu had expected L to look like was the mask covering his face. It looked like a fencing mask, and it was completely black.

“Yagami Sayu-san,” L said, his voice flat and monotone. Sayu blinked.

“Yeah, that’s me,” she said. “But you can just call me Sayu. No need for the honorific.” L nodded.

“Understood,” he said. “Did you come alone? As in, were you followed?” Sayu shook her head. She’d learned to start taking measures to make sure people didn’t follow her after getting kidnapped. “Good,” L said. He reached up and pulled the mask off his face, letting it fall to the ground with a soft thump.

Sayu considered the man in front of her for a moment. Dark bags hung under his eyes, which themselves were as blank as his voice. He looked like he hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in the last month. He barely looked older than Sayu herself, though she knew he had to be in his late 20s.

This was not at all what Sayu expected.

“You seem disappointed,” L said. “What’s wrong?”

“I just thought you’d be hotter,” she blurted out, before slapping a hand over her mouth. Oh God, did I really just say that? To L?! L looked taken aback, looking at Sayu with wide eyes. “I am so sorry!” she said quickly, scrambling to fix the situation. “I have no idea why I said that. It’s just, with the way Light was talking about you-” Sayu cut herself off when she saw L chuckling to himself.

“It’s alright, Sayu,” L said, a smile plastered on his face. “No offense was taken, I assure you.” Sayu relaxed slightly. “Although, I’m curious now. What do you mean by ‘the way Light was talking about me’?” Sayu bit her lip and fidgeted with her hands.

“Well,” she said, “even before you told me you were still alive, I knew something was off. My dad and Light kept giving each other weird looks whenever you got brought up. Then, when you told me you were still alive and wanted me to keep an eye on Light, I figured if I told him I knew you were dead, he would tell me about you and I could figure out more about how he was feeling to tell you.”

“I see,” L muttered, half to himself. He was giving Sayu a scrutinizing glance, but his smile seemed satisfied. It was a strange feeling.

“So then… why did you want to meet with me?” Sayu asked. L’s smile dropped, and he suddenly looked very serious.

“I have something that I need you to do,” he said. “But before I tell you what it is, I need to make good on a promise I made to you.”

“You promised to tell me why Light couldn’t know that you’re still alive,” Sayu said. L nodded.

“I did,” he agreed. “Please, Sayu, don’t take this the wrong way. I told you I wanted you to keep an eye on Light because I was concerned about him. That was only partially the truth. The truth is… Yagami Light is Kira.”

Sayu froze.

“What?” she whispered. The head of the Task Force be Kira? Forget that, Light, her brother, be Kira? It didn’t make any sense. But, in response to her disbelief, L nodded.

“I’ve known it for a while,” he said. “But it’s only recently that I’ve been able to prove it. I assume that you heard that I was attacked?” Slowly, Sayu nodded. “I set up that situation. The three men who attacked me were hired. They all had completely clean records, aside from now assault. In short, Kira should not have even been aware of their existences. However, the same day that they attacked me, they all ended up dead at Kira’s hand.”

“But how does that prove that Light-” Sayu started, but L was one step ahead of her.

“Light was the one who discovered me,” he said. “He was the only one to see my attackers. I also paid off a janitor who worked in a building that had security cameras outside. He told me that Light asked to see the security cameras. Light is the only one who could have known which people to kill.”

“But…” Sayu scrambled for any reason, any possible excuse. “If Light is Kira, then why would he help you? Shouldn’t he want you dead?”

“He should,” L agreed, “but that’s where you come in, Sayu. I’ve had this plan for a while, though the victim was not me until you told me that Light regretted something. I guessed that this regret was of orchestrating my “death”, so I tested that theory by leaving a reminder of my death in front of Light when I knew he was alone. His reaction told me all I needed to hear.”

“So,” Sayu paused, took a deep breath, then restarted. “Light is Kira. We know this, because he’s the only one who could have known who to punish for hurting you.” L nodded, but Sayu wasn’t satisfied. “I still don’t get it,” she insisted. “Why would Kira want to punish someone who hurt you? Even if he did regret killing you, it doesn’t make sense.”

“It’s actually quite simple,” L said. “There is a reason he regretted killing me, Sayu. He is in love with me.” Sayu bit her lip.

“And you know that because of the information I gave you,” she whispered. It was a statement, not a question, and L nodded. Sayu stared at the ground.

She felt an odd sense of guilt. It was due to her that a trap to catch Light was able to be set. That it had worked. But…

Her brother was also a murderer. He was Kira, and he needed to be caught.

Sayu’s stomach dropped as that realization suddenly struck her. Her brother was Kira. Light was Kira. Kira, who had murdered thousands of people. Kira, who had pushed the entire world into a new reign of terror. Kira, who was playing God.

All those times she’d told Light about her theories on the Kira case, he’d been lying to her. He’d said, “We’ll look into it”, but he’d never told anyone about what Sayu had said, hadn’t he? Sayu had always assumed that her theories hadn’t been accurate, that she just didn’t have the right ideas, but maybe she had. Maybe she’d been dead on.

Because Light, her brother, who she’d always looked up to, who had always been a source of comfort, who had been there to help her if she needed it, was Kira. Kira.

Sayu was related to a murderer. A murderer, whose actions led to her father’s death.

Any guilt Sayu might have felt dissipated in, replaced by a horrifying betrayal. Kira, Light, was the reason that her father was dead. That she’d been kidnapped. That Misa had been tortured.

“What is it you need me to do?” Sayu asked with a newfound determination. L smiled.

“I need to deal with Amane Misa,” he said. “She follows Light’s orders without question, because she worships Kira. I don’t believe anything could change her view of Kira, but I do believe that there is a chance to shatter her view of Light. I understand that he’s your brother, but-”

“He’s not my brother anymore,” Sayu interrupted. “He’s betrayed my family- no, the whole world. As long as Kira is stopped, I don’t care what I have to do.” L appraised Sayu for a moment, a scrutinizing look piercing through her.

“I see,” L muttered. “In that case, I need you to convince Amane Misa-san of the same.” Sayu nodded.

“I can’t guarantee that she’ll listen to me,” she said, “but I’ll do everything I can.” L smiled and nodded.

“And, Sayu,” he said as Sayu began to turn away. “I am sorry for your loss.”

As Sayu left the warehouse, she was certain of two things.

One, that L was just as in love with Light as Light was in love with L.

Two, she needed to get Misa away from Light.

For Misa’s own sake.

Chapter Text

Sayu’s fingertips drummed against the wall, waiting for Misa to open the door. L had dragged Light away, per Sayu’s request. That left her alone with Misa.

Sayu took a deep breath, reliving the plan in her head. Get Misa relaxed, naturally bring up Light in conversation, get her to say that Light wasn’t paying any attention to her, make her see that Light cares more about L than her.

Convince her Light is cheating on her.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can-

The door opened. Sayu let a bright smile take hold of her as Misa threw herself into Sayu’s arms with a delighted, “Sayu-chan!”

“Hey, Misa-chan!” Misa pulled herself out of Sayu’s embrace, bouncing on her toes in excitement.

“I wasn’t expecting you, Sayu-chan,” Misa said, tugging Sayu into the apartment. “Not that I’m complaining, obviously.”

“It’s been too long since I’ve seen you,” Sayu said. “I just wanted to stop by. Is Light around?” Sayu looked around the apartment, making it look like she truly didn’t know. Misa sighed.

“No,” she said. “He went out with Ryuzaki-san on some “important business”.”

“Important business, huh?” Sayu repeated with a laugh. It shocked her, how easy it was for her to lie. To act like this wasn’t planned.

“It’s not that simple,” Light said to L as the two walked down the street.

“What about it isn’t simple?” L asked, the corners of his lips twitching up in a smirk. “I’ve won more games than you. Therefore, I win.”

“But we’ve played an odd number of games,” Light argued. He ran a hand through his hair, the slight mess far too endearing. “Of course one of us would have won more games.”

“You would not be making this argument if you were the one with more wins,” L pointed out,

“Neither would you,” Light retaliated. A man walking down the opposite direction of the two bumped into Light.

“Sorry!” the man said, turning back slightly to Light. Light smiled at him.

“It’s alright!” he assured the man, then turned back and continued his argument with L.

The bump was so quick, so natural, that no one could have noticed the black notebook that slipped between hands.

“He didn’t!” Misa said with a scandalized gasp. The enthralled light in her eyes betrayed her clear enjoyment of Sayu’s gossip. Her current story, the first one she’d told to Misa that was a full lie, was of a boy she’d met in America who led on two girls at once. Sayu nodded with a satisfied smile.

“And then,” she said, “those two girls met.” Misa gasped again. Sayu could see the million possibilities of what happened next racing behind Misa’s eyes. “They ended up talking about the guy they liked, and realized what was going on. So, they called him out.”

“God, I wish I’d been there,” Misa said, flopping down onto the couch. “That would have been SO satisfying. Those poor girls, though.”

“Well…” Sayu let herself trail off, a mischievous spark in her eyes. “They ended up bonding over time, and guess what? The two girls are dating now.” Misa sighed happily, a far-off look in her eyes.

“What a great end to that story,” she said wistfully. Sayu shifted closer to Misa, smiling softly. You can do this, Sayu. For Misa.

“How are things with Light?” Sayu asked. Misa’s eyes brightened.

“Everything’s going perfectly!” she said. Sayu forced her own smile to brighten, mirroring Misa. You can do this.

“I can tell,” she said with a soft laugh. “Honestly, at this point I’m just wondering why he hasn’t proposed yet.” Misa’s brightness waned, and Sayu’s heart jumped.

“I’m wondering that too,” Misa said with a sigh.

“It’s been, what, 5 years?” Sayu reminded her. She was careful to keep any signs of excitement out of her face and voice.

“Almost 6,” Misa said. She rested her head against her hand and frowned. “I guess he’s too busy with the Kira case.”

“You’re probably right,” Sayu said. She chuckled, and said, “It’s almost like he’s married to L-san.” She said it as a joke, but meant it as more. The deepening of Misa’s frown told Sayu that she’d succeeded. Sayu dropped her smile. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t realize that-”

“It’s fine,” Misa interrupted. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you about my relationship problems in the first place. You’re his sister, after all.” Sayu grabbed one of Misa’s hands with both of her own, relieved that she could finally be genuine.

“I may be Light’s sister,” she said, “but I’m your friend first. You can tell me anything, Misa-chan.” Misa gave Sayu a half-smile, and placed her other hand over Sayu’s.

“Thank you, Sayu-chan,” she said. Misa didn’t say anything more, so Sayu squeezed her hands in encouragement.

“You shouldn’t keep these kinds of things to yourself,” she said softly. “I promise, I won’t tell anyone anything you tell me. Especially not Light.” Misa stared down at their hands, then sighed.

“It’s probably nothing,” she finally said. “I know that Light’s busy with the investigation. Plus, his dad, your dad, too, just died. He’s going through a lot, and I’m trying to remember that.”

“But…?” Sayu prompted. Misa bit her lip and sighed again.

“But… sometimes I feel like he’s not really here, you know? Like when the two of us are together, that his mind is somewhere else. I brushed it off as just the stress of the investigation at first, but…” Misa trailed off. Sayu waited. She could tell the words that Misa needed to say were resting on her tongue, held back by denial.

“When Ryuzaki-san was staying with us, Light wasn’t like that,” Misa whispered. “Even when we were staying at that Headquarters building. Sometimes, I would be talking, and Light would space out and look over at Ryuzaki-san.”

Sayu saw small tears run down Misa’s face. She squeezed Misa’s hand again and moved closer.

“You’re right, Misa-chan,” Sayu whispered. “You know, I talked to Light over the phone all the time when I was in America. He talked about L-san all the time. Always said these great things about him.” He almost never mentioned you. Sayu let the implication hang over Misa.

Misa suddenly shot up, yanking her hands away from Sayu. Sayu looked up, and saw anger blazing in Misa’s eyes.

“I’m not stupid, Sayu-san,” she said sharply. “You can’t trick me into leaving Light, okay?”

“I’m not-” Sayu tried, but Misa continued.

“I want you to leave,” she said coldly. “Now.”

Chapter Text

L sat on the bench, waiting and watching. Misa’s skulking upon his and Light’s return told him that Sayu had been at least partially successful in convincing her. If that was the case, then there was only one thing left to do.

L had mostly completely healed, though there was a dull ache from his right flank whenever he pushed himself too hard. He’d managed to convince the Task Force that he didn’t need a bodyguard, which allowed him to slip away from Light long enough to negotiate a meeting with Mello.

Speak of the devil.

Sharp footsteps echoed from behind L. He didn’t turn, waiting for Mello to stop right behind him.

“I’m here,” came the cold voice. “Let’s talk.” Cold metal pressed against the back of L’s head. He recognized it as the barrel of a gun.

“Are you really going to assassinate me here, Mello?” L asked. In response, a clicking sound was made behind L’s head.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t,” Mello challenged. “Traitor.” His voice was even, calm. Far more so than any other time L had heard him speak. Unrestrained anger lay in the soft press of the gun to L’s skull, the threat stronger than the pressure.

L had seen Mello angry before. In fact, the sight of him angry was probably a more common sight than that of him happy, or sad, or feeling any other emotion.

But he had never seen Mello this pissed off.

Any threats Mello made on Near’s life were ultimately empty. L knew that, likely more than either of them. There was a mutual understanding between the two, not unlike that which existed between L and Kira, that despite how much they claimed to want the other gone, they would mourn the loss of a friend if it ever really happened.

No such understanding existed between Mello and L. Any relationship prior, any good communication, had broken down when Mello saw through L’s half-truths and recognized his actions for what they were.

The actions of someone so desperately in love they would do anything.

But not anymore. That much L was sure of. He may not be choosing his case, but he had been wrong to think that his only options were Kira or victory. There was a third, somewhere in between, waiting in the center of a long labyrinth composed of L’s half-baked, unsteady plan.

Everyone ends up with one of those, L decided. Like Mello’s plan to kill him right there.

“I’ve taken your advice, Mello,” L said. “I sorted out my priorities. And catching Kira is my top priority.”

“But you love him,” Mello countered. The tip of his gun pressed harder against L’s head, and with it, the threat faded.

“As I said, I am infatuated with Kira,” L corrected. “But love? That feeling is reserved for Yagami Light. Unfortunately, of course, he is Kira.”

“You’re not making any sense,” Mello growled. “Do you love Kira or do you not? If Yagami is Kira, then he’s Kira. If you’re in love with Yagami, then you’re in love with Kira.”

“I wish it were that simple,” L sighed. “But, no. The version of Light that I first met was Kira. However, I have reason to believe that at some point he lost the notebook and thus his memories of Kira. That was the Light I fell in love with.” A moment passed.

“You promised,” Mello whispered. The hurt he must have been fighting hard to hold back slipped through, quietly. “You promised me that you’d catch Kira.”

“I did,” L whispered. His knees drew themselves tighter towards his chest against his own will. “And I have every intention of keeping that promise.”

“So, what’s your plan?” Mello asked. There was an air of suspicion in his voice.

“I am going to corner Light, and then offer him a deal,” L said. “His memories for his freedom.” Mello remained silent for a moment.

“And what if he doesn’t take it?” he finally asked. L paused.

“Then I will have no choice but to arrest him,” he said quietly.

“Will you?” Mello challenged. “If you have the evidence to corner Yagami, then you have the evidence to arrest him. But you haven’t. What will be the difference then?” L dropped his head to his knees.

“I will have the Task Force and SPK with me when I make my move,” L said. “They will arrest him if I cannot.” Mello was quiet, and L could feel eyes trained on the back of his head. Then, footsteps walked around the bench and stopped right before him. L lifted his head.

The burn scar across his face shot searing guilt through L.

“I’m sorry,” Mello said. It was barely a whisper, something L would be sure he’d imagined if he hadn’t seen Mello’s lips form the words. “I shouldn’t have called you out in front of the whole SPK like that. I misjudged you.”

“No, Mello,” L said. “You were right. I don’t think I would have realized how far I’d let myself go without you.” Mello sighed and dug his hands into his pockets.

“Still,” he muttered, “I could have talked to you in private. I was angry.”

“Understandably so,” L cut in. “I should be the one apologizing to you, Mello. It is because of me that your Mafia all ended up dead. That you nearly died.” Mello bit his lip and looked away. With another sigh, Mello sat himself down on the bench next to L.

“Matt is still alive,” he said. “That’s what matters to me.”

“He’s your boyfriend, right?” L asked. Mello hesitated, then nodded.

“We haven’t exactly put a label on it,” he explained. “But yeah, more or less.” Mello then gave L a pointed look. He looked away, but it was hard to miss Mello’s point. Neither L nor Mello said anything for a moment, simply sitting next to each other. Mello finally broke the silence.

“What about you?” he asked. L looked over at him, silently asking for elaboration. “If Yagami doesn’t accept your deal, and he gets arrested. What happens to you?” L avoided Mello’s gaze.

“I would know that Kira has fully overtaken Yagami Light,” he whispered after a moment.

“That’s not what I asked,” Mello pressured. L bit his lip, unsure of what to say. He knew what would happen. He just didn’t want to say it.

“I would be ruined,” he finally said. “I would have lost the first thing that ever truly mattered to me. Even the complete destruction of Wammy’s House would be incomparable to the pain I would feel if I lost Light.” L felt tears pricking at his eyes, but he fought them back. “I cannot live without him in my life.” L could feel Mello staring at him.

“If you destroyed the Death Notes,” Mello said eventually, “Light would lose his memories, whether or not he takes your deal. As long as you’re sure that you’ve completely destroyed all parts of the Note.” Hope sprung up in L’s chest, but it was quickly smothered by L’s constant blanket of guilt.

“No,” he said with a sigh. “I would like nothing more than to assure that Light will take the deal. However… it must be by his choice. I can’t have it any other way.” Mello nodded, and a realization struck L. “Was that a test?” he asked. Hesitantly, Mello nodded.

Every time L thought he could just name Near as his successor, Mello did something like that.

“But I need your help, Mello,” L said. The real reason he’d called for a meeting. “In order to corner Light, I need to take away all fragments of the Death Note he has on him.”

“You need me to watch his mail,” Mello concluded. “We’re already doing that, at least for Amane. But they live together, so it shouldn’t be too hard.”

“I also need eyes on Takada’s mail,” L said. “She likely already has pages or fragments. I need to make sure none of those make it to Light.” Mello paused, then nodded.

“I see,” he muttered, something resigned in his voice. Mello stood up. “We should probably both be headed back, now.” L nodded and stood up as well.

“We should,” he agreed. “I’ll see you soon.” Mello hesitated.

“I doubt it,” he muttered, turning away from L. “We- Matt and I- have a plan. We’ve had it for a while, but it was never the right time to act. Based on what you said… I don’t think we’ll get the chance to meet again.” Mello began walking away.

L’s heart stopped for a moment. He understood what Mello was saying.

“Mello…” L sighed. “You would have made an excellent L.” Mello paused. For a brief moment, it seemed like he would change his mind, but then Mello sighed and smiled.

“But we both know Near is the better choice.”

L slowly opened his eyes to see Light above him. Light smiled, a dangerous smile that L knew meant he’d done something. He would miss this, L thought as Light kissed him. He kissed back, knowing that his fate now rested in Light’s hands, as Light’s fate rested in his. L smiled as he heard the front door open, and Light didn’t react. He hadn’t heard it.

L kissed back until the door to their room opened, and Misa’s gasp startled Light to pull away.

Chapter Text

Light was frozen as he stared back at Misa. A million different excuses ran through Light’s mind, each one flimsier than the last. Light could talk his way out of a lot of things, but he wasn’t sure he could talk himself out of this.

“Misa-chan,” Light tried, scrambling for something to say. “I- I can explain.” I can’t explain! Misa closed her eyes. Light saw her hands ball into fists, then release. Then, Misa turned and walked away. Light scrambled to his feet and followed her.

“Misa-chan!” he tried again. “Just listen-”

“What is there to say?!” Misa snapped, whirling around to face Light. He had never seen her this infuriated before. “I know what I saw, Light. You can’t convince me that I didn’t.”

“It’s not what it looks like,” Light tried, the excuse sounding weak even as he said it. Misa scoffed.

“‘Not what it looks like’?” she repeated. “Tell me then, Light. Tell me what is happening. Because it looks like you are cheating on me. With Ryuzaki-san, of all people.” Misa laughed, a bitter, mirthless laugh that scared Light more than it should have. “I honestly don’t know which is worse.”

“Misa-chan-”

“Don’t.” The word was deadly, filled with venom. “Don’t -chan me right now. Don’t think that anything is going to get you out of this. Don’t even try.” Light bit his tongue. Misa stared at him for a long, tense moment, then sighed and shook her head.

“I guess I should have seen this coming,” she said quietly. “You know his name. You could kill him, if you wanted. But you haven’t. He’s still alive. I should have known that there was a reason for that.” Light’s gaze flickered over to the closed bedroom door, where he knew L was sitting. Waiting. Listening.

“I… had my reasons,” Light muttered, unable to give any other answer.

“Those reasons being that you were sleeping with him,” Misa accused. Light didn’t respond. “God, how long has this been happening? Were you fucking him while he had me in confinement and was torturing me?” Yes. “Or when I was risking my life to catch Higuchi?” Yes. “Or when Sayu was kidnapped?”

“I didn’t know he was alive then,” Light protested weakly.

“That is a horrible answer,” Misa said, her voice sharp and her eyes sharper. Barely restrained anger painted her face red.

“I’m sorry,” Light tried. Misa laughed again, the red growing deeper by the second.

“No, you’re not,” she spat. “Don’t lie to me, Light. For once, don’t lie.” Light remained silent. The only thing he was sorry for was getting caught. Light felt trapped. For the first time in his life, he felt trapped and didn’t know what to do. He’d never thought that Misa might second-guess herself or their relationship. He’d used that assumption to coast by, doing the bare minimum to keep her happy, without crossing too far over the line.

He'd tried, at least. Light had shoved away the discomfort whenever Misa kissed him, or touched him intimately. Ignored the gnawing pit in his stomach whenever he’d had sex with her. Kept his yearning sense of wrongness whenever he called her “Misa-chan” or “my girlfriend”, and whenever she did the same to him.

Maybe that’s why he kept running back to L. Even if Light knew it was wrong, knew it was cheating, knew L was his enemy, knew it was wrong on many levels, he came back because that felt good. It felt right, in the way that doing the same with Misa should have, but never did.

And finally, you are gay.

Light had denied it then, but he knew know that L had been right. He was gay. He liked men, and he liked L. But he’d shielded that part of him from the world, because he knew that information would tarnish the image he’d spent years building.

The image that everyone but L bought. The image that L saw through right away. It should have been terrifying, someone looking behind Light’s mask. But, it was the opposite. It was intoxicating, sweet like honey, knowing that L was looking for Yagami Light. The real Yagami Light.

Five years, perhaps more, of frustration, of bitten back comments, of silenced pleads, bubbled to the surface.

“What did you expect?” Light said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I never wanted this, and you know that. I told you myself.” Misa’s eyes narrowed, a warning that Light ignored. “I told you that I could never be your boyfriend. I only agreed to even pretend like I was because you wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“You never said no,” Misa argued.

“I never said yes, either,” Light retorted. “You told me that you didn’t care if I used you. I did exactly that, and now you’re hurt? Surprised?”

“There is a difference,” Misa said, her tone wavering, “between using me and cheating on me. I thought, at the very least, you could respect that.”

“I needed something,” Light said, cringing at the tears that started forming in his eyes. “You make me uncomfortable, Misa. Have you not noticed, in all this time? Every. Single. Time you touch me.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Misa asked. Light ignored the pain in her eyes, the look that she was genuinely hurt by the knowledge that she’d done something to cause pain to Light.

“Would you have listened?” Light challenged. “If I told you, would anything have changed?” Misa hesitated, and it gave Light the answer he needed.

“I don’t know,” Misa admitted quietly, but she quickly added, “but you wouldn’t know if you never tried. You can’t blame me for this.”

“Yes, I can,” Light snapped. “If it weren’t for you, everything would have gone much smoother. You have done nothing but get in my way and be an inconvenience since the moment I met you. I never should have killed that burglar. Biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”

Misa took a step back, her eyes wide and filled with hurt. Tears spilled across her cheeks, mirroring the ones on Light’s. Still, Light wasn’t finished.

“You will always come second to me,” he said. “If it came down to a choice between you or L, you or my family, you or anything, I would not hesitate before leaving you to die. Maybe we’re both to blame for this. Maybe we both dug our own graves.” Light’s eyes narrowed. “But when I die, I will be laying with L.”

Misa remained silent. The anger had left her, replaced by pure anguish.

“God,” she whispered, almost too quiet to hear, “Light, do you know how horrible that is to say to someone?”

“I don’t care,” Light growled. “It’s the truth.” Misa stared, wide-eyed, for a moment, before turning and walking out of the apartment, defeated. Light sighed and turned back to his room, shaking his head.

“Good riddance,” he muttered as he entered. L was still there, shock painting his face. “What?” Light snapped.

“I didn’t know you had that in you,” L muttered. He stood up from the bed and shoved his hands in his pockets. Light rolled his eyes.

“You think I’m a murderer, and you don’t think I have it in me to get in an argument?” he asked. L stared at him, searching his gaze for something, though Light wasn’t sure what.

“You were horrible to her,” he said at last. Light huffed and leaned against the door.

“So what?” he refuted. “It was the truth. Besides, I thought you hated Misa, anyways. Why do you care how I treat her?”

“I don’t,” L said, “but she had a point.”

“Are you seriously on her side in all this?” Light asked, ignoring that sharp feeling of betrayal tugging at him. “Do I need to remind you exactly who I was cheating on her with?”

“And do I need to remind you who made the first move?” L retorted. “Do I need to remind you that you consented to everything we did together?”

“I only slept with you because she drove me to do it!” Light snapped. L narrowed his eyes and responded, his voice cutting through Light.

“Liar.” Light didn’t attempt to fight the accusation, but L kept going. “You slept with me the first time we met as Kira and L. You also initiated that.”

“You flirted with me first,” Light tried.

“You kissed me first,” L said. There was no retort to be made. “One of these days, you are going to have to deal with the consequences of your decisions. You have lived too long without them.”

“I always get what I want,” Light hissed. It was a threat, evident in the mutual yet unspoken knowledge that L was what Light wanted.

“Not always,” L said. He approached Light, the action flipping the threat around. “I will admit, I had some part to play in you getting away with what you have. But decisions must be made, Yagami Light. I have made my choice. It’s time that you made yours. Kira.”

With that, L turned and stalked away. Light could have asked for elaboration, but he didn’t. He knew what L meant.

Until then, L and Light had both ignored the obvious problem that a detective was fucking his main suspect, who was also trying to kill him. That inconvenient truth. The moment the two were alone with their lips against each other, that fact could fade away. If only for a moment.

But time, and the world, had caught up to L and Light. As L had said, a decision had to be made.

Because Kira could never have L Lawliet.

But Yagami Light just might.

Light tugged at the cuffs of his sleeves. Had L really made his choice, like he’d said? If he had, then which had he chosen? The case, or him? As Light looked down at his hands, the realization hit him. Struck him across the face and left him speechless. Left him, again, on the verge of tears.

His watch was missing.

Sayu flipped the TV off. The gentle but insistent tapping of raindrops against the roof echoed around the now silent living room. Sayu stretched and began padding to her room, yawning and wincing as her body ached. L had recommended she take self-defense classes, and Sayu could read through the lines. She’d practiced and practiced until she could take down someone about 20 pounds heavier than her.

A knock at the door startled Sayu. She looked around. Now was a really bad time for her to get kidnapped again, but her mother was already asleep. Sayu took a deep breath and carefully opened the door, ready to let out an ear-splitting scream if need be.

What Sayu saw made her heart break in two.

Misa stood in the rain. Her messy hair was soaked and plastered against her face, like she’d been running her hands through it without end. The water on her face was a mix of rain and tears, and her eyes were swollen red from crying.

“Sayu-chan,” she whispered. Her voice was wrecked. From screaming? Crying? Maybe both.

“Come inside,” Sayu urged, stepping out of the way for Misa to enter. She looked terrible, for the first time. Water pooled on the ground below Misa, but Sayu ignored it. She ignored the drenched clothing soaking her own as she pulled Misa into a tight hug. Tired, dry sobs came from Misa, like she’d already been crying for so long she didn’t have any more tears to shed.

“You were right,” she whispered. “Sayu-chan, you were right.” Sayu tightened her hug and felt Misa’s arms wrap around her in turn. L’s plan must have worked. “I don’t know what to do.” Sayu stroked Misa’s hair, an idea forming in her mind.

“I might have an idea.”

Chapter Text

Near stared at the screens that surrounded him, pretending to pay attention. He absentmindedly twirled a lock of hair around his finger. He hadn’t accounted for Takada taking such drastic actions to avoid getting caught, but…

Well, that was one problem solved. The location of the second Death Note was now known, and that meant that Near’s plan would work. All thanks to Mello.

Near bit down a sigh. Mello, who he’d never quite hated as much as the other seemed to think. Who had sworn that he would never work together with Near. Who was now, more likely than not, dead. It was because of him that Kira was going to be caught.

Near tugged a bit too hard at his hair, and he winced. He let his hand fall and stared at it.

Had he been a bit too harsh with L? The question nagged at Near incessantly. He was sure that L had a plan, but what he wasn’t sure of was if the plan had been compromised or not. Had L let his feelings get in the way of the case? It seemed like it, based on what he’d said.

But Near couldn’t be certain. He’d weighed the risks and had decided to kick L off of the case in the event that they were compromised. It had been a split-second decision, and Near didn’t regret it. But he could have called a private meeting with L, couldn’t he? He knew Mello had. Or at least, that L had done so with Mello. He wished he knew what they’d talked about…

Near let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. This was pointless. He needed to focus on catching Kira first and foremost. He could worry about all this later.

The door slid open and Near turned, too quickly and too hopeful. Rester entered, carrying two small packages and a downcast look.

“Any sign of Mello?” Near asked. Rester hesitated, then shook his head.

“Not any physical signs,” he said. “But… we just received this. We suspect that Mello sent it.” He held out one of the packages, the thinner one, towards Near. Near grabbed it and turned it over. It was addressed to Rue Ryuzaki, but Near knew better.

“It’s for L,” he muttered. That must have meant that Mello didn’t know L had been kicked off of the SPK. A small twinge of guilt tugged at Near. He ignored it. “And the other package?”

“A tape from Yagami Sayu,” Rester said. Near frowned. He knew that name, didn’t he?

“The daughter of the former Japanese police chief?” he clarified. Rester nodded. Near’s frown deepened.

“I’ll set up the tape to be played,” Rester said. Near didn’t respond more than a simple hum of acknowledgement, turning over the package to L in his hands. It was small and thin, the size of a standard envelope. Carefully, Near tore it open.

The only thing inside was a single slip of paper. Near pulled it out and stared at it. It looked to be standard notebook paper.

But Near knew better. He recognized the style of the paper, the color of it, the feel of it in his hands. It was a scrap from the Death Note.

A million possibilities whirled through Near’s mind. Did this go deeper than he thought? Was L actively working with Kira? No, that couldn’t be it. Mello would never help him if that was the case. Where did Mello even get the scrap from, anyways? It must have been Takada. Had that been why he’d kidnapped her?

In that case, he must have known that she had it. He wouldn’t risk his own life on a chance. Well, maybe he would. In any case, he would have had reason to believe that she had the fragment before making his choice. So, he must have been watching Takada. And she must have been delivering this fragment to Kira. In that case…

In that case, he didn’t have any fragments of the Death Note on him. He was trapped and panicking. Now was the perfect time to strike.

But how had the fragments been taken from him?

Near was able to answer that question the moment he asked it. L. L, who he knew was skilled in sleight of hand. Who would be close enough to Light, in more ways than one, to be able to take them. Who would know where they would be hidden.

Near’s hand rose to his hair to twirl a lock around his finger. His frown deepened. Could this be a message, then? Perhaps Mello did know that L had been kicked off of the SPK. In that case, this may be his attempt to… clear L’s name?

Mello wouldn’t do that unless he himself had forgiven L.

Near sighed. If only he knew what Mello and L had talked about. Then, he would be certain of what to do with the L situation.

The monitors blared to life. Near looked up and stared with narrowed eyes. The recording was low-quality, likely filmed on a VCR. Two figures sat across from each other at a table. One figure Near recognized to be Amane Misa, and the other to be Yagami Sayu.

“What is your name?” Yagami asked. Near titled his head. A police interrogation? Well, a faux one, at least.

“Amane Misa,” Amane said.

“Are you answering these questions freely and voluntarily?”

“Yes.”

“Are you the second Kira?”

“Yes.” Well, that was one way to catch Near’s interest. Why would she say this now, after years of staying silent? She’d withstood 50 days of torture without saying a word, and now she was finally talking? Did she even know that she was being recorded?

“Who is the first Kira?”

“Yagami Light.” Amane’s look directly at the camera dispelled any belief of Near’s that she wasn’t aware of the camera. He frowned. What exactly was this?

“Who is currently acting as Kira?”

“I don’t know his name, but I know it’s not Light. He told me to send my old notebook to someone a couple months ago, and that same person also gave me the notebook a bit later. But I don’t know his name.”

“Why did you need to get the notebook back?”

“To restore my memories. When I gave up the notebook, I gave up my memories of it too.” That explained Light’s behavior when his father had died. If that was the case, then this interview must be in some way serious.

“Why are you saying this?”

“Because Light betrayed me.” Amane looked at the camera again, her eyes narrowed. “I am repaying the favor.”

The tape ended. Near looked down at the floor.

L really had chosen the case over his own feelings.

Chapter Text

Light’s pulse pounded far too loud in his ears. He fought to keep his face blank, fought to hold the grin of victory back.

He’d won.

It didn’t matter that L had taken his watch and, as Light later confirmed, his wallet. Didn’t matter that he was still alive. Light didn’t have to choose.

He’s already won.

Just as Light had been counting on, L had missed the small scrap of the Death Note taped just under the base of his neck that now contained Kiyomi Takada’s name, written under the pretense of rubbing the back of his neck from anxiety. It was there to keep Light’s memories with him.

The seconds ticked by. Everyone but Near and Light looked around, like they were looking for the death coming for them.

35…

36…

37…

38…

39…

Light grinned. “It looks like I’ve won now, Near.” Eyes shot in Light’s direction. He didn’t care. They were all dead anyways.

A sickly grin spread over Near’s face. Light narrowed his eyes.

His heart stopped just as he realized that everyone was still standing. The seconds ticked by, but no one collapsed.

“We’re still alive,” Matsuda muttered, like he didn’t believe it. “It’s been over a minute, and we haven’t died!” Eight pairs of eyes stared holes into Light. His heart pounded in his chest, near painful.

“Didn’t I already tell you all that no one was going to die?” Near said. The grin on his face remained as he kept eye contact with Light. Light gulped. Calm down. Everything’s fine. They still have no proof that you’ve done anything.

A thud sounded behind the heavy metal door where Mikami was waiting. All heads turned to watch as the door slid open. Light expected to see Mikami there, but instead two figures walked into the warehouse.

Dressed all in black, with long, dark brown hair tied up in a ponytail, the second figure walked towards the two groups. In one hand, they held Mikami’s Death Note. The other kept a tight grip on the nape of Mikami’s neck. He tried to struggle, but Mikami couldn’t escape.

The figure was masked with what looked to be a black fencing mask. Light could feel her stare directed at him, but he couldn’t see the face of whoever this was.

The smile had fallen from Near’s face, meaning that whoever this was couldn’t be with the SPK. Light didn’t recognize them, either. Had Mikami missed someone during the mafia raid? He’d sent him an order to take out all affiliates of the American mafia when L had told him the plan, but there was a possibility someone who wasn’t known had managed to escape.

But, Mello should be- no, was- dead. How had this person found them?

Light couldn’t find an answer to that question, but the realization of exactly why everyone was still alive hit him. Mikami must have written Takada’s name when he heard she’d been kidnapped! That idiot! He would have revealed the location of the notebook to whoever was following him, and they would have replaced it!

Light’s heart started racing again.

The unknown figure flipped open the Death Note. “Nate Rivers,” she said. That must be Near! “Anthony Carter. Stephen Loud. Halle Bullook. Mogi Kanzo. Matsuda Touta. Ide Hideki. Aizawa Shuichi.” With an air of finality, the figure tossed the Death Note between the SPK and the Task Force. It slid across the ground, coming at a stop between Near and Light, open to the page of eight names. The figure turned to Near.

“Are the first four the names of your team?” she asked. Near nodded. The figure turned back to the group as a whole. “It’s settled then,” she said. “Only one name is missing. That person must be Kira.” Seven pairs of eyes turned to stare at Light, two already piercing through him.

Relax. This is nothing. You’ve talked your way out of worse.

“Based on what?” Light asked. “There could be many reasons my name isn’t on that notebook. I thought we’ve been over this. If you make a deal for the Shinigami eyes, you can see the lifespans of everyone except those who own a Death Note. Isn’t that what my father died for?” Light turned to the rest of the Task Force, careful to keep the smile off of his face. “You heard him say it on his deathbed. He saw my lifespan, so I can’t be Kira. You,” Light turned to Mikami, who looked up at him far too hopefully, “you have the eyes, right? That’s how you know everyone’s name.”

“I do,” Mikami said. Don’t answer me that quickly! You’re going to ruin this!

“Can you see my lifespan?” Light asked, forcing himself to sound unbothered. Mikami nodded as best as he could, wincing as his hair was tugged. “If you don’t believe him,” Light continued, turning back to the others and crossing his arms, “then any of you can make the deal yourselves and see.”

“That won’t be necessary.” A new voice rang out, and Light’s heart seized as he recognized it. L! Sure enough, L stepped forward out of the shadows, wearing the same type of mask as the unknown figure. As he stepped forward, L unclasped the mask and let it fall, the sound of it echoing around the dead silent warehouse.

“L,” Near said, the slightest dip of his head in greeting. “I wasn’t aware you were planning on being here.”

“That was the point,” L said. “I couldn’t risk Light here knowing that I planned on showing up.” Light wanted to narrow his eyes, but made himself look affronted.

“Why not?” he asked. L looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

“Don’t play me for a fool,” he said, smirking just slightly before adding, “Kira.” Light didn’t even get the chance to defend himself.

“I’ve known you were Kira from the very start. Since the four-day surveillance of your house, really. I’ve crafted hundreds of plans to prove that you are Kira, so it was only natural that one would work. That one came only a few months ago. You see, there is something you should know about my attackers. I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t recognize them, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t know them. Those three men were hired by me.”

Time seemed to stop. The only sound Light could hear was the rapid thump, thump of his heart.

“Beyond that, those men were not guilty of more than an average person. They all had completely clean records, exactly why I chose them. They would have no way of being on Kira’s radar.”

The rest of L’s explanation was unnecessary for Light. His world crashed down around him as the pieces of L’s plan fell into place. Light remained silent as L explained each part of the trap, from choosing the location so the security camera would see their faces, to paying off the janitor to turn over Light, to removing all evidence after Light had seen it. Each step of the way had been carefully planned for Light to fall into a trap without ever realizing it.

“So, as I said, there’s no need for anyone to make that deal,” L said, once he’d finished building Light’s coffin. “Regardless of whether Light owns a Death Note or not, he is the one pulling the strings. He has been this entire time.”

“This is ridiculous!” Light snapped. “Let’s say I am Kira. Why would I want to kill the people who hurt you? Why would I save you in the first place? If I were Kira, I would have just left you to be killed.”

“Yes, I’m sure you’d like everyone to believe that,” L said, his smirk deepening. “Truly, this plan only could have worked after you tried to kill me the first time. Because that made you realize that you didn’t want me dead after all. And I have my assistant to thank for that.” L gestured to the masked figure. She slipped her mask off and let it fall to the ground.

Sayu?

Sayu stared back at Light, her eyes narrowed and swirling with a thousand emotions. Anger was the primary one. Light was silent from his shock.

“Not long after I died,” L explained, “I realized that the two of us are equals in every way. I could never outsmart you, just as you could never outsmart me. However, there was a chance that by preying on your heart, I could trick you into falling into a trap if it was laid carefully enough.”

L chuckled.

“I should thank you, really. Your plan to lose your memories and let Higuchi take over showed me how big of a heart you truly have. I asked Yagami Sayu-san to keep an eye on you, hoping I might find a weakness. She was the first person I thought of who would be willing to help me, who would be able to get you to say what you were really feeling, and who wouldn’t raise suspicions for consistently checking in with you.”

“You told me you regretted something related to L,” Sayu jumped in. “I told this to L. Of course, there are so many things you might regret, but he was able to narrow them.”

Light’s heart jumped. The towel in headquarters! He’d planted it there. He was the person I saw there!

Everything fell into place. L’s meetings with him, why he’d never resisted against Light’s plans, how he hadn’t resisted the idea of Light being his bodyguard even if it did handicap him. It had all been part of L’s plan to get Light to fall in love with him.

No. Light instantly corrected himself. He’d already been in love with L. L had used that love against Light to bring him down.

Light gulped. He’d miscalculated. Vastly miscalculated.

He’d lost. All because of his heart. His heart, that wouldn’t let him kill his own worst enemy. His heart, that had made him fall in love. His heart, that Light had thought he knew how to control.

“That settles it, then,” Near said. He turned to face Light. Seven other gazes turned to Light as well, though it felt like a hundred. Light knew he was trapped. Without his watch and wallet, he had no…

Wait. There was still the scrap of the Death Note taped to him. He wasn’t completely finished yet. He knew Near’s name now. Nate Rivers. He may have lost, but that didn’t mean that Near or the SPK would win.

And Light knew that L would lose eventually. Even if Light was arrested, Ryuk would kill him in prison before L had the chance to prove anything.

L was right. This game was unwinnable for everyone involved.

“Fine,” Light said. “Maybe I knew about the people who attacked you. What of it? It still doesn’t prove that I’m Kira.”

“On its own? No,” L agreed. “However, that is not the only piece of evidence we have.” Subtly, Light reached for the back of his neck. To everyone else, he looked nervous.

“You are the only person who could know who attacked me,” L began. “Mikami Teru-san didn’t write down your name. Your profile matches Kira’s one-to-one. You’ve always had access to police information. The changes in Kira’s behavior correspond to changes in your routine. No criminals died the first two weeks that you were in confinement. Higuchi-san died while you were holding the Death Note. Do I need to continue?”

BANG!

A sharp pain cut through Light’s hand. He pulled it away from his neck with a cry of pain. Blood ran down his wrist, staining his skin. Light looked around wildly for who shot.

Matsuda?

The man had his gun trained on Light, his eyes wild.

“I saw that,” Matsuda hissed. “You have a piece of the Death Note taped to the back of your neck. You were probably trying to write Near-san’s name.” Everyone stared at Matsuda in silence for a moment. Even L seemed mildly impressed.

“Matsuda-san,” Light muttered. “Come on. You know me. Would I really kill someone?”

“L-san knows you better than I do,” Matsuda hissed. “He says that you would, and I believe him.” Light’s jaw tightened. His gaze darted around the room, and rested on Sayu.

“Sayu-”

“Save it.” Sayu’s grip on Mikami tightened, and he yelped. “I know what you’re going to say. Save. It. Our father- my father- is dead because of you. I’m not going to help you out here.” Light pleaded silently for a moment, and Sayu met his gaze. Unforgiving.

Light looked around again, and this time his gaze met with L’s. A brief moment passed between them, and Light realized that he still had one card left to play.

“L,” he whispered. “You may have played with my heart, but you weren’t completely lying. Were you?” L met Light’s gaze for a moment longer. Then, he sighed and turned towards Near.

“Give us a moment?” he asked. He and Near locked gazes for a long moment, a silent battle occurring with a single look.

Near nodded and stood up. He gestured, and slowly, the warehouse was emptied of everyone but Light and L.

Light stared at L for a moment. His heart was pounding harder and faster than it ever had before.

“I want to make a deal, Light,” L said. Light narrowed his eyes.

“What kind of deal?” he asked.

“Your memories for your freedom. Give up being Kira, and all memories of the Death Note, and there is no reason to prosecute you. You get to walk free.”

Light stared.

“Why?” he asked. L raised an eyebrow, and Light elaborated. “Why are you offering this?” L sighed.

“I thought it would be obvious,” he said.

“Nothing’s ever ‘obvious’ with you,” Light scoffed. “You chose your case. What makes you think I would choose you?”

“Is that what you think?” L asked quietly. “That I chose my case? You’re mistaken.” Light’s breath caught in his throat as L continued speaking.

“I could never choose my case, Light. I was sure you’d seen that. I could not live without you. I am constantly bored. I’m sure you know the feeling. The cases I take are a momentary distraction, but only momentary. That was, until you came along. Your case is without question the most exciting and exhilarating I’ve ever been on. There wasn’t a moment where I was bored. You fascinate me, Light.”

“But it’s more than just that. I thought, at first, that I could handle that feeling. A facsimile of love. I thought it wouldn’t get in the way of my case. However, then I handcuffed myself to you and saw the part of you that you never wanted me to see. The part of you that Kira buries.”

“I saw the part of you that laughs and smiles freely. The part of you that isn’t afraid to cry. The part of you that punches me in the face when he’s annoyed at me.”

Light smiled faintly at the memory.

“And that part of you was the one to ruin me. That part of you was the you I fell for. I’d never been in love before I met you, and suddenly I had fallen harder in love than I thought was possible.”

“And, at first, I misunderstood that feeling. I ignored that feeling of loss when you regained your memories, believing it instead to be a loss of our game. I was wrong. I was mourning the loss of the Light I fell in love with. The one you killed by picking up the notebook again.”

“I thought I would never see that part of you again. So, I allowed myself to be infatuated with you. But then, I saw the you I love again. When your father died. That convinced me that I could have you, if I tried. Even if it meant giving up the chase. Because, I love you, Yagami Light.”

“I am sorry that I had to ask for our deal this way. I truly am. But, I didn’t think that the others would allow you to walk away unless we made a deal like this. Please, Light. I would have asked for this weeks ago if I thought I could protect you from prosecution. This was the only way I could think of to do it. Give up your memories, and you will have me.”

Light’s first instinct was to refuse. To tell L that he would never do such a thing, and to just kill him then and there. To say that he should have proposed this deal before tossing him out to the wolves.

But, as Light’s mouth opened to form the words, no sound came out. No refusal left his lips, because Light saw the shine in L’s eyes. The want in his gaze as he looked at Light, the proof of his truthfulness.

L loved him. Light was sure of it. He’d used his own love as well as Light’s to trap him, and was now begging for him to step out of it. L wanted him. He’s chosen him.

And Light would be lying if he said that he didn’t want to make that same choice. He remembered too well how happy he’d been, even when handcuffed to L, when they’d been living at the headquarters. Had he ever felt like that, when acting as Kira?

If Light refused the deal, he’d be arrested and killed, either by Ryuk or the death penalty. If he took the deal, he could have L’s heart.

“I agree,” Light said, “on one condition.”

“Anything,” L promised, and Light knew that he meant it.

“I join you on all cases you take in the future,” Light said. “From now on, we both act as L.” L smiled, a warm smile that made Light sure he’d made the right choice.

“I would have asked the same,” L said. Light smiled back at him, and peeled the fragment from his skin. He hesitated, then handed it over to L.

Light blinked. L stood in front of him, smiling.

“You did it,” L muttered. He dropped something from his hand, and pulled Light into a tight hug. Light hugged him back, confused.

“Did what?” he asked. All he’d done was agree to be L’s partner in his future cases, right?

“Kira is gone,” L muttered. He laughed and pulled away from Light, grinning like an idiot. “Kira is gone, Light. You did it.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Light said. L shook his head.

“Of course you didn’t,” he whispered, still laughing. “Of course you didn’t. God, Light, I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, L,” Light said. “But I am so confused.” L kissed him, hard and messy and full of feeling and everything that Light wanted.

“I know,” L whispered against his lips. “I know.”

Ryuk stared at the two, curious. Things sure hadn’t gone how he’d expected, but this game had been interesting start to finish.

Now, though, it was finished.

Ryuk looked down at his open Death Note, considering his options. With this little game resolved, he had no reason to keep Yagami Light alive.

No reason, except for one.

As he looked back up at the two lovebirds, a sharp grin spread across Ryuk’s face. Yes, this could still be a very interesting story. There were still a lot of unspoken agreements. His favorite, as they were easily broken.

Ryuk spread his wings and flew out of the warehouse, back to his realm. How long should he give it? A year? Two? However long it took for the rose-colored glasses to disappear, and doubt to grow.

But there was always the chance for Yagami Light to become Kira once again.

Chapter Text

It was more difficult than L expected to persuade the police to leave Light alone. Light had been rushed to a hospital to treat the gunshot wound to his hand to keep him away from the conversation.

“Are you kidding?” Aizawa demanded. Fury burned in his eyes. “You expect us to just abandon the case now?

“What is this?” Ide added. L bit back a sigh of impatience.

“I made a deal with Light,” he said. “In exchange for his freedom, he gave up his memories and ownership of the Death Note.”

“You told us that,” Aizawa said. “My question is why. Do you even know if he actually doesn’t have his memories anymore? What if he’s just faking it?”

“Light can fake many things,” L said, “but he can’t fake this. I can’t prove it, per se, but I know that he has no memories.”

“What if he gets them back?” Aizawa pressed.

“Then, by the terms of our deal, he would have to either give up his memories again or I would have to turn him in,” L said simply.

“Would you?” Ide challenged. L met his glare.

“Yes,” he said. It didn’t matter if it was a lie. It would be convincing enough.

“So what if he doesn’t have his memories?” Aizawa continued. “He’s still Kira.” L turned his gaze to Aizawa.

“Do you remember how Light behaved while we lived at headquarters?” he asked. Slowly, confused, Aizawa nodded. “And do you remember how he behaved before and after that span of time?” Aizawa nodded again. “Would you say that he behaved the same?”

“I- well, no-” Aizawa started, hesitantly. L cut him off.

“That is because, when Higuchi-san was Kira, Light had no memories of being Kira,” he explained. “The same is true now. There is no point in prosecuting him.”

“No point?” Aizawa repeated in disbelief. “He murdered people, Ryuzaki-san!”

“I agree with Ryuzaki-san,” Sayu said quietly. Heads turned to stare at her, and she met them calmly. “I still blame him for my father’s death, don’t get me wrong. I still don’t consider him my brother. But…” Sayu trailed off, then started again, with more confidence. “Arresting him wouldn’t make us any better than Kira himself. We all know that if he gets arrested, he’s going to be found guilty and sentenced to death, even if he doesn’t remember what he did. I’m sure, if Kira was someone else, he’d want that too.” Silence fell over the small group.

“Well said, Sayu-san,” L said. “There is nothing I can do to stop you if you still wish to arrest Light. However, do know that I will not cooperate with any prosecution brought against him.”

It was that ultimatum that made the Task Force relent.

Near was unnervingly quiet during the entire discussion. L had expected him to say something, but he didn’t. There was a resignation in his silence, like he was accepting that L’s love for Light would prevent any further action from being taken.

The harder discussion was what to do with the Death Notes. They were certainly too dangerous to keep around, but it might also be worth running tests on them in the event that more Death Notes found their way into human hands.

After nearly an hour of arguing, planning, and silent contemplation, it was decided that one of the Death Notes and all fragments would be burned, and the remaining one would be sent back to Wammy’s House with Near to be studied. L could tell that Matsuda most strongly opposed that plan, but he held his tongue.

“So,” Sayu asked, “is it over?” L watched as the car containing the SPK drove away.

“I hope so,” he said. “With Light’s memories erased, there’s no way to know for sure that we have found all the fragments. However, I also think he needs to come into contact with the notebook itself to regain his memories.”

“What about Misa?” Sayu asked. “She still has her memories. And, she confessed to being the second Kira.”

“We will see,” L said. “My guess is that she will keep her memories. However, as long as no more criminals die and the world is told that Kira is dead, I don’t see the need to prosecute her. That, however, is not my choice to make.” Sayu stared straight ahead.

“You said that I was a temporary member of the Task Force,” she said at last. “Does that still hold?”

“The Kira Task Force, and the SPK, will likely be dissolved within a week,” L said.

“I want to protect Misa,” Sayu clarified. “She’s still my friend, even if she was Kira.” L scuffed his foot against the ground.

“That’s not up to me,” he finally said. “I’ve done more than too much already protecting Light. I’m not going to stop you, but I also can’t help you.” Sayu hummed, a set determination in her eyes.

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” she declared. L stared at her for a moment, weighing his options.

“Do you still want to be a lawyer?” he asked. Sayu nodded immediately. L bit his lip and looked back forward. Sayu was turning out to be a very valuable asset, though she may be even more useful in an attorney’s office. He’d prefer a prosecutor, but…

“I want to continue working with you,” L said. Sayu turned to look at him, mouth wide open. “Between both Light and Misa, you’ve proven that you can work information out of someone without them noticing. That’s a rare skill.”

“Misa did notice,” Sayu said. Glad to see she’s not as arrogant as her brother.

“You also have no training,” L pointed out. “Let’s talk more about this later.”

Six months later, Light awoke to an empty bed. He yawned and stretched, his gaze casually searching the room for L. He wasn’t there, but Light didn’t worry. L usually woke up before he did.

Light padded out of his bedroom, stifling another yawn. Sure enough, L was sitting on the couch, invested in something on his computer.

“Good morning,” Light said. He draped his arms around L from behind and kissed his cheek. L hummed in reply.

“We have a new case,” he said. “Well, technically Eraldo Coil does.” Light dislodged himself from L and walked to the kitchen. This was the third case he and L had received since the Kira case closed.

“What’s the breakdown?” he called over his shoulder. Keeping an ear intent on L, Light opened the pantry, now half-full of assorted sweets.

“There was a series of bank robberies in America,” L said. “Collectively, about 2.5 million US dollars were stolen.” Light whistled as he dug around the pantry.

“Are we sure it’s all the same person? Or group of people?” Light paused, then added, “Have you had anything to eat?”

“Yes, single person, and no,” L said. “All of the robberies were committed in the same fashion. One person would enter with a gun, demand around 100,000 dollars, deposit the money into a getaway car, and then shoot themselves.” Light pulled a brownie from the pantry for L, along with an apple that he still didn’t know why he bought so many of for himself, and returned to the couch.

“So that’s 25 banks?” Light said. “What took them so long to call you? And why call Coil?”

“That’s why I’m suspecting an inside job,” L said, adding a, “Thank you,” as he took the brownie Light brought for him. Light looked at the screen and frowned.

“I recognize some of these names,” he said. “I can’t remember why exactly, but a couple of these banks popped up when we were looking into Mello.” L hummed and took a bite of the brownie. “I can look into connections between these banks and the mafia,” Light continued as he booted up his own laptop.

“All the information I received is already copied over,” L said. “I want to look more into the person who hired Coil. All I know so far is that they’re a higher-up at the bank that was robbed most recently.”

“How much are they offering?” Light asked.

“One million.”

“For a total profit of 1.5 million?” Light suggested. L smiled at him and nodded.

“That’s what I’m thinking.”

Light’s heart was pounding as he stood at Misa’s door. She’d been briefly arrested, but when neither L nor Sayu would give a statement or cooperate with the investigation, she was released.

Light was sure that she was guilty, but he was also sure that Misa didn’t really deserve to be arrested for being Kira.

The door slid open. Light held his breath, but it was Sayu, not Misa, at the door.

“Light?” Sayu asked. “What are you doing here?” Light took a deep breath.

“I want to talk to Misa-san,” he said. Sayu stared at him for a moment, then slunk back inside the apartment. Light waited for an agonizingly long moment, before the door opened again.

Misa stood at the door. She was more melancholy than usual, the same gothic attire she normally wore helping that view of her. Light gulped.

“Misa-san…” Light cleared his throat, and tried again. “I’m sorry.” Misa remained silent, so Light pressed. “Look, I… you were right. I was horrible to you, and I’m the only one to blame for cheating on you. I am really sorry, Misa.”

“Light-san,” Misa said with a sigh, “it’s fine.”

“It’s really not,” Light said. “You were right. I should have told you that I wasn’t happy. Honestly, I have no idea why I didn’t. I don’t have any excuses. And, everything I said to you… I’m so sorry. You deserve better than that, Misa-san.” Misa didn’t respond for a moment, just leaned against the door frame.

“I think we both said and did a lot of things that we didn’t really mean,” she said at last. “You were also right. I don’t know if I would have listened if you’d said you were uncomfortable.”

“But I-” Light started, but Misa cut him off.

“It’s okay, Light-san,” she said. “I did a lot of stupid things. We both did.” She smiled then, gently. “I accept your apology, Light-san.” Light gave Misa a small, hesitant smile.

“Thank you, Misa-san,” he said. “For what it’s worth, if any future boyfriends try to treat you like I did, I’ll make sure they regret it.” Misa laughed at that, a bright laugh that made Light smile.

“You’d have to fight Sayu to do that,” Misa said, grinning. “She has told me in no uncertain terms that she’d be willing to stretch the law for me.” Light grinned back.

“Why fight her? I can just cover her tracks,” he said. Misa laughed again.

L crouched in front of the gravestone, silent. The grave below him was empty, but a stone still marked its location.

Mihael Keehl. December 13^th, 1992 – January 26^th, 2013. Mail Jeevas. February 1^st, 1990 – January 26^th, 2013. We can never repay the debt owed to them.

An arm wrapped around L’s waist and pulled him to Light’s side. He leaned against the comforting warmth, glad for its presence.

“You taught him well,” Light muttered. “And, in the end, he did what he had to so we could catch Kira.” L buried his face into Light’s shoulder.

“I know,” he whispered. “But it still hurts.” Light’s grip on L tightened, protective.

“I know.”

“Not an inside job,” L grumbled. “Just a weird case.” Light hummed and ran his fingers through L’s hair. The knotted scar on the back of his hand vaguely ached, but Light couldn’t care less. He kissed the tip of L’s nose, crooked from when it hadn’t healed properly. He and L both had been amassing scars as time passed, but Light loved seeing them. The scars were a chronicle of their time together, each one a distinct memory.

“You sound disappointed,” Light said.

“Inside jobs are more fun,” L responded. “And, I’m upset that you figured it out before I did.” He leaned into Light’s petting and smiled. “But at least I have you all to myself now.” Light laughed and leaned down to kiss L.

“I guess you do,” Light agreed. He leaned in close and rested his forehead against L’s. “And I have you all to myself.” L hummed his agreement and pulled Light into a short and sweet kiss.

“I love you, Yagami Light,” L whispered against Light’s lips. Light smiled and kissed him with more force.

“And I love you, L Lawliet,” he said. Light traced shapes and patterns on L’s shoulder, then paused. “What if I wanted to make that L Yagami?” L thought for a moment, then huffed out a laugh.

“What makes you think I’d be taking your last name?” he asked. Light laughed and pulled away from L.

“What makes you think I’d be taking yours?” he retorted. “Light Lawliet is a stupid ass name, and you know it.” L let a wicked grin cross his face.

“I’m sure I could persuade you otherwise,” he said, before pulling Light close again and peppering his face with kisses. Light shrieked his laughter and squirmed in L’s lap. His hands flew to grab the sides of L’s face, before Light kissed his lips.

“That the best you got?” Light purred. “Because I’m not-” Light was cut off as L pulled him back into another kiss.

“Is that a challenge, Light Lawliet?” L breathed. Light smiled softly down at him.

“Of course, L Yagami,” he said. L smiled back and leaned back, bringing Light down with him so that Light’s head rested on his shoulder. Light sighed contentedly and spread his palm over L’s chest, right over his heart. L copied the motion, feeling for the constant thump, thump of Light’s heart.

“Your father would kill me, if he were still alive,” L said quietly after a few moments. Light chuckled softly, but L felt his hand tighten around his shirt.

“He’ll still hunt you down in the afterlife,” Light whispered. “You’d better watch out. You’re lucky my mother only knows you as Ryuga Hideki, the weird boy from To-Oh who doesn’t even know how to tie his own shoes.”

“Those better be her words, not yours,” L threatened with no ill intent. “And it’s a good thing that I don’t plan on dying any time soon, then,” L said. He ran a hand through Light’s hair and scratched against Light’s scalp the way he knew Light liked.

“You’d better not,” Light retorted, along with a soft smack against L’s shoulder. “Or else I might be the one hunting you down.”

“There won’t be any need for that,” L promised. “I’m going to be here for a while, whether you like it or not.”

“Well, luckily for you, I do like it,” Light said. He kissed L again, long and hard, like he didn’t fully believe what L had said.

It was moments like these when L knew he’d made the right choice. The fact that Near wouldn’t talk to him, the irreparable damage to his reputation, Aizawa’s hostility, none of it mattered. Not like it used to. Not when Light was in his lap, kissing him like there wouldn’t be another tomorrow.