Archive of Our Own ^beta

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This can not be happening. Peter Hayes is making out with me. I can’t even. 

This guy’s hated my guts since the beginning of initiation. Is this hormones on his end? A bet with Molly and Drew? 

If you notice that I said “making out”, yes– making out. Snogging. French. I’m reciprocating? Hormones on my end, I’d say. Haha. Hopefully.

I’ve always wondered how it would feel to kiss someone…someone you’re not married to, as was required of me during my Abnegation days.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. My whole arch-nemesis and I are making out? I mean, could the Abnegation in me have taken sexual tension for the other type of tension all this time? Don’t know, but the way I’m being grabbed and held tight against Peter right now makes me wish we’d done this sooner.

“Hey Stiff, you’ve gotten me stiff. Haha.”

I would like to take that back. Maybe we shouldn’t have done this.

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I’m not sure what I was thinking when I kissed that actual buffoon back. “Maybe we shouldn’t have done this.” Gosh. We totally shouldn’t have done this! 

I need to survive at Dauntless. I’m already hiding out in a corner thinking about Peter of all things instead of practicing...he thinks he can just walk up to me in the dorm when it’s empty and push me against the wall? Open my mouth with his tongue? Absolutely crush my waist with his arms?

He’s doing this to ruin my initiation…isn’t he?