Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It took Jinwoo a while to realise his exhaustion wasn’t just from hard practice sessions. He found himself having to take breaks more often, especially when drilling routines, and falling asleep not long after dinner most nights. Jehyun made a comment the other day that made him stop and actually think about things.

“Did you steal one of Sebin hyung’s shirts?” Jehyun snarked as he joined Jinwoo at lunch.

“What? No, my mom sent me this a couple months ago.” Jinwoo scooped up a bite of his rice before asking, “Does my shirt really look that big?” He frowned down at his shirt. It had felt a little loose that morning but he was running late and didn’t have time to think about it.

“I mean, kinda. I was just joking, you know.” Jehyun pulled open his bento and started taking things out.

“I don’t get it. It feels like all I’ve been doing lately is eating. And sleeping. I’m so fucking tired Hyun-ah.” Jinwoo dragged his spoon through his rice before tossing the plasticware on the table.

“Have you talked to the hyungs? Or the managers? Our comeback is in a month, you can’t be getting sick.”

“You think I don’t fucking know that? I’ll talk to a manager after practice.” Jinwoo stole a cucumber slice from Jehyun’s lunch and managed to avoid the swat Jehyun directed at his hand.

“You better.” They fell into a comfortable silence and finished their lunches.

Jinwoo wouldn’t actually get a chance to talk to a manager about it for a couple days. By the time he did, they were scheduled to start recording their music video in two days.

“Xen! What was that sequence! Do you want to look bad on stage?” the choreographer yelled across the studio. The group was working individually and Jinwoo was drilling a section he was having trouble with on his own but was having a hard time focusing. “Go take a break until your head’s on right!”

Jinwoo moved over to where a manager was leaning against the wall watching the practice.

“Can I talk to you for a minute? In the hall?”

The manager stared at him for a moment before nodding and turning away. “I’ll do you one better, I’ll give you five and you explain what’s going on.”

Jinwoo moved over to his bag to grab his water bottle and phone. The other members started whispering about what could be wrong before the choreographer was able to refocus them to run the routines in smaller groups.

Jaehan and Hangyeom moved over to Jehyun stretching in the corner to try to get some information out of the younger man.

“Jehyun, what’s going on with Jinwoo?” Jaehan asked. He sat next to Jehyun and began stretching himself.

“I don’t know. He’s been losing weight even though he says he’s been eating a lot more, and he was complaining of being exhausted. I told him to talk to you guys or a manager last week.” Jehyun sighed before asking, “How’s he been in your room Gyeom hyung?”

“Quiet. He’s been hiding in the room a lot more. I figured he wanted to be alone and relax or something. Hopefully it’s just a cold.” Hangyeom answered before taking a drink from his water bottle.

Jaehan frowned and pulled out his phone, “Rubin texted me the other day asking if Jinwooo was okay. Apparently he’s been falling asleep the few times they facetimed. He asked me to make sure he doesn’t push himself too hard this week.”

As Jaehan scrolled through his messages trying to find the chat with Rubin, a new message chimed.

“Who’s that?” Jehyun asked, trying to catch a glimpse of Jaehan’s screen.

“Shit. It’s the manager. Apparently they think it’s worse than a cold. Hangyeom, come on.”

Hangyeom and Jehyun followed Jaehan over to the pile of bags by the door.

“What’s going on hyung?” Hangyeom asked as he reached for his street shoes. 

Jehyun moved to follow the men’s example but was stopped by Jaehan.

“You need to stay here Jehyun, you need to practice too.”

“Woo’s my friend! I’m not gonna sit behind if something’s wrong!” Jehyun tried to push past Jaehan but the older man wouldn’t let him pass. 

“The manager won’t let you go with us. We’ll keep you in the loop though, I promise.” Jaehan sat on the bench and quietly thanked Hangyeom as he was passed his shoes.

“I will make sure you know what’s going on. Right now you need to stay focused for the comeback.” Hangyeom rubbed a hand down Jehyun’s arm before shouldering his and Jaehan’s dance bags.

Jaehan gathered up Jinwoo’s things before leading Hangyeom to the door and they left Jehyun behind in the studio.

The pair made their way to the managers' shared office where the company doctor was finishing his exam. The manager stood off to the side with his phone in his hand, texting someone.

The doctor glanced up as the couple entered the office. “Jaehan, good. I have an idea of what’s wrong but I don’t have the means to do the blood work here. I will have my friend at the hospital meet you there when you arrive.”

Jaehan stepped over to the manager to discuss what was happening. Hangyeom sat next to Jinwoo on the couch while the doctor packed up his bag and pulled out his phone to call the hospital.

“How are you doing, Jinwoo?” Hangyeom rubbed a hand down Jinwoo’s back. 

Jinwoo ran a hand through his short hair before replying, “I don’t know, hyung, Dr. Lim won’t tell me anything. He pulled manager-nim into the hall to talk about whatever this is. I’m just so tired of feeling like shit all the time.”

“It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure out what’s going on and fix this. You’ll be back to normal soon.”

The two boys shared a small smile before looking over at the approaching Jaehan.

“Come on Jinwoo, let’s get you feeling better.” Jaehan held his hand out to help Hangyeom off the couch.

Hangyeom took it with a frown and allowed himself to be pulled up, “The manager isn’t coming?”

“No, he has to go talk to the CEO about what’s going on and the other two are busy, so it’ll just be us three.” Jaehan squeezed his hand. “It’ll be okay.”

Jinwoo stood and followed the two out of the manager’s office with a quiet thanks to the company doctor as he passed.

On the way to the parking garage, Jinwoo pulled out his phone and debated texting Rubin. Before he could make up his mind, Rubin texted him first.

>>Hey Woo, Jehyun texted me. Is everything alright?

Of course he did.

<<Not sure. Mom and Dad are taking me to the hospital

<<Company doctor has an idea but can’t test for it at the company

>>What does he think is wrong?

<<No one will tell me. Jaehan knows what Dr. Lim thinks but he won’t say. 

<< Asking Hangyeom won’t do any good either

>>Why? 

<<Jaehan either hasn’t told him yet or won’t let him say anything to me yet about it

>>Will you be okay to film?

<<Hopefully. I don’t want to disappoint For X

>>OFC you’re focused on that

>>Your health is more important

<<We just got to the hospital, gotta go

>>Let me know what’s going on

<<Of course

Jinwoo locked his phone as Jaehan and Hangyeom opened their doors and climbed out of the car. He sighed and slipped his phone into his jacket pocket before following suit. Stepping out of the car, Hangyeom reached back to offer Jinwoo his hand. After a second of hesitating, Jinwoo took it and the pair made their way to the front of the car where Jaehan was waiting.

“It’s going to be okay, Woo. We’ll get answers and everything will be okay.” Jaehan ruffled Jinwoo’s hair and led the way into the lobby to be directed to the correct floor.

All too soon, the small group was led back to an exam room and a nurse came in to take blood samples. Before she left, she informed them the doctor would be in to talk to them shortly. Hangyeom sat next to Jinwoo on the bed and wrapped an arm around him to offer some semblance of comfort while they waited, and Jaehan pulled a chair over to sit in front of the pair.

“How’s Rubin hyung doing?” Hangyeom asked, clearly trying to distract the young man.

“He’s doing good. His studio is getting busier lately. He offered to design me a new tattoo,” Jinwoo kept his head down, playing with his fingers in his lap.

“What does he have planned? Anything exciting?” Jaehan put his hand on Jinwoo’s knee, ducking to try to look at his face.

“Uh-” Jinwoo unlocked his phone and pulled up his gallery, “I sent him some ideas like these and he said he wanted it to be a surprise.” He showed his hyungs a couple of animals and plant ideas saved on his phone.

“Wow! How’d you get the managers to agree to that?” Hangyeom gave Jinwoo a squeeze. 

“I basically promised to get it somewhere that would be covered easily. But it’s not like the fans don’t know I already have tattoos.” Jinwoo gestured at the word inked into the side of his neck.

Jaehan and Hangyeom shared a look, but before either one could say anything, a knock sounded on the door before it opened.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Lee! Jongin asked if I would look at Jinwoo.” An older man walked in with a tablet in his hand and a smile on his face. 

Jaehan greeted him back warmly while Hangyeom gave Jinwoo one more squeeze on the arm and slipped off the examination table. 

“Jongin told me his suspicions and asked if I could figure out what is going on.” Dr. Lee took a seat on a rolling stool and propped his tablet on the counter. “Now, Jinwoo, I have some questions to ask while we wait for the results from your blood tests.” He waited for the young man to nod before starting, “You said you’ve been exhausted a lot lately, correct?”

“Yeah. But I’ve been sleeping a lot too so I don’t understand.” 

The doctor nodded and typed the response on his tablet keyboard. 

“A friend from his old group asked me if things were okay. They talk almost weekly on the phone and Rubin said he was falling asleep during the calls most nights.” Jaehan spoke up.

“How much sleep do you think you’re getting a night? On average. I know being an idol means limited sleep and unusual sleep schedules.”

“Eh…” Jinwoo scratched at the back of his head. “We usually get back from practices around 9pm and after everyone gets through the showers it’s close to 10:30, and I wake up at 6:30 for vocal lessons in the mornings. Maybe 6 or 7?”

“And do you tend to fall asleep in the car on the way to or from schedules or practice?” Dr. Lee glanced up at the young man and caught his nod. “When did you start noticing this happening?”

“A month? Maybe a month and a half. I’ve always been able to fall asleep easily, even in unusual or uncomfortable spaces. My mom used to tease me about it when I was younger. But now I’ll fall asleep during short rides too.” Jinwoo found his fingers to be more interesting to look at than the wall.

“That was one of the first things we noticed about Woo-ah. It’s not unusual to find him in a corner of the waiting room sleeping. But he’s also been dozing off during breaks at dance practice, which is new.” Jaehan spoke up again. 

Jinwoo was surprised to hear this and his head shot up to look at his eldest member. “Really? How have I not noticed?” 

“It’s okay Jinwoo. We’ve all been working hard, you aren’t the only one who does this. Just… you tend to do it the most frequently.” Hangyeom reached over and laid his hand on Jinwoo’s knee in reassurance.

Jinwoo laid his hand on top of Hangyeom’s and wrapped his fingers around tightly.

“Okay. You also said you’ve been eating a lot more lately.” Dr. Lee redirected the conversation back to figuring out what’s going on. 

“Yeah. I’ve never been one to eat a whole lot, most of the time when I was younger I wouldn’t finish my meals. But not intentionally. My mom asked the doctor when I was a kid and he suggested I have a small stomach and to make smaller meals.” Jinwoo was quick to reassure the man in front of him and his members. “Lately I’ve been going back for seconds. Or I’m hungry again an hour after I ate.”

“What kinds of things do you eat?”

“In general, I tend to eat more plant or noodle based meals. A lot of meat makes me sick, especially beef or pork so I usually eat chicken or fish more. Snacks are fruit or a protein bar, I’m not really a fan of candy or overly sweet stuff.”

“What about water? Have you been drinking a lot more lately?” Dr. Lee was back to typing quickly on his tablet keyboard.

“Yeah, but I just thought it was from the longer, harder practices we’ve been having. On a normal day, I’ll refill my water bottle once but lately it’s been more. I think at least twice during a five hour practice.”

“How big is your water bottle? You use the same one everyday?”

“750ml and yes. I have a couple of the same water bottle in different colours that I switch out every once in a while.”

“So you normally drink two of those, 1.5 litres? And lately it’s been three?”

“Yeah. At least. Sometimes four if we have dance all day. We have 500ml bottled water at the company too and if I forget my water bottle at the dorm, I’ve found myself drinking three or four of those.”

“I understand why Jongin wanted you to come in. He also told me you lost 10 kilos in the three weeks since your last check in at the company -”

“Eh! TEN kilos! Jinwoo!” Jaehan jumped up. “It was obvious you lost weight, but TEN kilos!”

“Hyung! I swear it wasn’t on purpose!” Jinwoo tried to defend himself.

“We know Woo-ah, we know.” Hangyeom reassured the younger man before turning to his hyung. “Hyung. Sit down. It’s not his fault, clearly something is going on and we are here to figure it out.”

One look at the scared man on the bed and Jaehan immediately felt guilty. He sat down with his head down looking sheepishly. “I’m sorry Woo. I was just surprised it was so much.”

“So you’ve also noticed the weight loss.” Dr. Lee didn’t even react to the outburst.

“One of the stylists commented on it last week during a fitting. Woo-ah has a habit of stealing everyone’s clothes, which are bigger than his, but lately the shirts have been looking bigger than usual.” Hangyeom answered as he moved to sit back on the bed next to his nervous member.

Jinwoo shook his head, “Even my own clothes are more loose lately. I was scared to say something after you guys confronted me in the beginning over my eating.” At Hangyeom’s questioning noise, he explained, “I know it’s not true, but I was nervous you guys didn’t fully believe me last year. I don’t have an eating disorder, I’m not on a diet, and I’m not trying to lose weight. I’ve always been small and thin and it’s hard for me to gain weight.”

Hangyeom just wrapped Jinwoo in a hug.

“I’m sorry we made you feel that way, Woo-ah. I swear, it was never our intention to make you nervous to talk to us about anything. We were just concerned for you and wanted to let you know we were always available to talk about things. We’ll talk about this at home and try to clear things up, okay?” Jaehan squeezed Jinwoo’s knee before turning to the doctor. “Dr. Lim said he was concerned it could be something serious but didn’t want to say what until the test results came back. What do you think is wrong?”

Hangyeom released Jinwoo to turn back to the doctor but kept his arm around the younger’s back, rubbing his hand up and down Jinwoo’s arm.

“I believe all of the signs are pointing to Type 1 Diabetes. Now, Jinwoo, you are on the older side for it to develop, but it can happen in adults. Your diet is high in carbs and natural sugars and it sounds like you are burning through them faster than before, which is why you’ve been so hungry lately despite losing weight. As a result of you burning through your energy source faster, you are crashing harder and more frequently, hence the exhaustion. I’m going to go check on the test results to see if they agree or if it’s something else. Excuse me.” Dr. Lee stood up and gathered his tablet before leaving the room.

The three young men stayed quiet as the doctor left. Hangyeom squeezed Jinwoo into his side as the younger rubbed at his eyes. Jaehan pulled out his phone to text the managers an update.

“You just can’t catch a break, can you Woo?”

Jinwoo just let out a dry laugh and shook his head. “My parents aren’t going to believe this.”

“Why?”

“They used to joke when I was younger about how I was always lucky I ‘just’ had asthma.” Jinwoo sighed and pushed his hands through his hair. He looked over at his hyungs, “It’s common with kids diagnosed with asthma to also have pretty bad allergies. It can also cause complications with other illnesses like the flu and chickenpox. There are also risks as I get older. The steroids I take can lead to bone density issues, and the chronic obstruction of my lungs can lead to COPD. But my asthma doctor is already looking for these issues to minimise any problems that may come up.”

“And you don’t have any allergies, right?” Jaehan put his phone down and looked at his dongsaengs on the bed.

“Eh… I mean… they’re minor?” Jinwoo was sheepish and refused to make eye contact.

Hangyeom pushed away from Jinwoo and jumped up, “Woo! What the hell! What are you allergic to!” 

“Cats and mould. That’s it, I swear.” Jinwoo held his hands up in a placating manner to try to calm his hyung down.

“Why didn’t you say something a couple months ago? What happens with your allergies?” Jaehan was definitely the most calm of the two older members.

“Eh, I didn’t think to, honestly. I get a runny nose and watery eyes when touching cats, and a minor rash when I come in contact with mould.”

“Do they affect your asthma?”

“They can but only with prolonged contact.”

“I swear to God, Woo, if you’re hiding anything else, I’ll kill you myself.” Hangyeom sat back down next to his dongsaeng on the bed. 

It was at that time that there was a knock on the door before it opened to reveal Dr. Lee again.

“Okay! There were some things in your test results that we need to go over.” Dr. Lee sat back on the stool and set up his tablet so the three young men could see the screen. “In general, your levels look good. Your blood counts are good, as well as your cholesterol and enzymes.” He started pointing at the different coloured lines on the graph. “Your glucose levels are high. Jongin told me you were coming from practice, which raises the concern for diabetes since we would expect to see the levels either in the normal range or on the lower side. 

“We are going to set up to run what is called an A1C test now to test for your average glucose levels for the last couple months, so we have to draw just a little more blood. A nurse will be in shortly to do that. We are also going to be setting up a couple tests for tomorrow morning. These will be to test your fasting glucose level as well as your glucose tolerance. In order to run these tests and get accurate results, you cannot eat or drink anything other than water after 10pm tonight.” 

“What does the tolerance test include?” Jinwoo asked.

“Once we take your fasting glucose level, you’ll be given a glucose solution to drink and we’ll test your levels after one, two, and three hours to see how your body processes the glucose. Based on these results, we’ll be able to get a confirmed diagnosis of diabetes or not, and figure out a proper treatment plan from there. Tomorrow the testing will just be with finger pricks, still not fun, but much less invasive than us taking blood.”

“You said he was on the older side of developing diabetes. What could have caused it?” Hangyeom asked.

“When it develops in adults, we tend to look more at outside factors vs genetics. It can still be genetic and the person was just unknowingly doing things to manage it before things went beyond what they could control. But we mostly look for things like a virus that could have attacked the pancreas like the flu, or some kind of injury that could have damaged the pancreas like being in a car accident.”

“I had the flu a month or so ago. I had to go to the hospital because of my asthma and my doctor wanted to make sure it wasn’t Covid and things would be okay.”

“How bad was it? Do you remember?” Dr. Lee started writing more notes on his tablet.

Jinwoo shrugged, “Kinda? I slept most of the time. I had a really high fever that we couldn’t get down at the dorm so one of the managers took me in. I was on oxygen for a while and they had an IV set up the entire time.”

“How high did your fever get?”

Jinwoo shrugged and looked at his hyungs for an answer.

“It was at 40° for over two hours before the managers decided to take him in. We gave him fever reducers, used cold compresses and ice, and at one point put him in the bath but it still wouldn’t come down.” Jaehan answered.

Dr. Lee’s head shot up. “It took them two hours at that temp to decide to bring him in? That was very dangerous. Promise me the next time one of you gets that sick again, you won’t wait so long to get medical help.”

The three boys nodded their heads.

“Okay, based on that, I can see what could have potentially caused the damage. I’ll send the nurse in again to draw more blood for the A1C test and write up your discharge papers. We’ll get you feeling better in no time, Jinwoo, I promise.” With that, Dr. Lee packed up his tablet again and stepped outside.

The boys sat in silence for a minute before Jaehan moved to sit on Jinwoo’s other side.

“Hey, this changes nothing. You know that, right? No matter what the tests say tomorrow, we still care about you and will do everything we can to learn and help.” Jaehan curled his arm around Jinwoo’s shoulders and tugged the smaller boy into his side.

“I know, and I appreciate it. It’s just a lot going on. Like my asthma is easy to deal with, it’s been under control for years. But this is a lot. It’s going to be a lot to learn to deal with. It’s not just going to be checking things once a day, it’s going to be multiple times a day, and changing what I eat, and how I use my energy.”

“Not quite.” While the boys were talking, the nurse slipped back into the room undetected.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re right in that you will have to check your blood sugar multiple times a day, before and after meals, during exercise, etc. But you don’t really have to change your diet or your activity level unless it’s really unhealthy.” While explaining, she set up her supplies to draw more blood from the small boy on the bed. “Unless you’re eating candy and fried food for every meal, it’s more of a change in moderation and making sure you are getting the right amount of macronutrients like carbs and proteins.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Hangyeom nodded. “Do you need hyung or I to move?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.” The nurse waited for Hangyeom to get up before approaching the bed. “Okay, Jinwoo, just like earlier. But I’lll be done faster as I only need a little this time.” Without much preamble, she had the turniquent wrapped around Jinwoo’s arm and the small vial half way filled before it even registered that she started. “We will be helping you set up a diet plan and figuring things out to help make everything easier. You won’t just be thrown to the wolves to fend for yourself.”

“Will the testing hurt? Having to prick my finger multiple times a day?” Jinwoo asked as he watched his blood fill the small vial.

The nurse quickly finished the blood draw and pressed a piece of gauze into Jinwoo’s elbow. “Not usually, but due to your more active lifestyle as an idol, Dr. Lee will probably recommend what’s called a CGM or continuous glucose monitor. It’s a small disk that sticks to the back of your arm that will check your levels every five to fifteen minutes based on brand and version. The checks are then synced to a device similar to an ipod or smartphone.”

The door opened behind the nurse and Dr. Lee stepped back in. “We can talk more about your options tomorrow. You’re scheduled to come in at 9am.” He held out a small stack of papers detailing what they discussed and directions for the morning to Hangyeom, who took it. “Remember, no eating or drinking after 10 tonight, only water. And I would bring something to do, it will be a lot of waiting around.”

Jinwoo nodded, quietly thanking the doctor for helping them this afternoon. “I have a quick question about tomorrow. Can I still take my meds? I have a daily control prescription for my asthma and migraines I take every morning.”

“That’s fine Jinwoo-ssi, as long as you only take them with water. Let’s just get you feeling better and everything under control again, okay? We’ll see you tomorrow.” With a smile, the doctor and nurse both left the trio in the room.

Jaehan stood up and held a hand out to Jinwoo, “Let’s go home and calm the others down.”

Jinwoo took the offered hand with a questioning noise and stood between his hyungs.

“Everyone has been texting us both the whole time asking what’s going on. They’re all concerned about you.” Hangyeom rubbed his dongsang’s back again.

“What have they been told?”

“Nothing really, just Dr. Lim had some concerns and wanted you to be looked at in the hospital. We can tell them as much or as little as you want right now when we get back to the dorm, but the more we tell them today, the less explanations need to be given later.” Jaehan squeezed Jinwoo’s hand and started guiding the trio out of the examination room.

They were quiet during the trip through the hospital and back to the car, but once they were settled, Jinwoo spoke up again from the back seat.

“I get what you meant earlier, I just don’t know what to say to them.”

Hangyeom turned in the passenger seat to look at Jinwoo behind Jaehan driving, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.”

“No, seriously, what is your biggest concern with telling the others what’s going on?”

Jinwoo rubbed his hand through his hair for the nth time today and answered, “I just… This doesn’t make sense. I don’t want the kids to feel like they have to take care of me. Yes, this is a pretty serious thing, but I don’t want to have the maknaes feel like they need to watch out for me. I’m their hyung, that’s my job, not theirs.” 

Jaehan glanced in the rearview mirror and caught Jinwoo’s eye. “Is that why you never said anything about your asthma? You don’t want to feel like a burden to the maknaes?”

“Keep your eyes on the road.” Hangyeom swatted at Jaehan’s arm before turning back towards his dongsaeng. “Woo, no one is going to see you as a burden. No one sees you as a burden now, I promise. I mean, yeah, you seem to be the one with all the medical emergencies right now, but that could happen to anyone. We are going to do our best to support you and learn what to do to help you when something goes wrong, but no one is going to baby you over it or treat you any different. And if they try, you’re an adult fully capable of telling them to stop.”

Jinwoo sent his hyung a small smile, “Thank you, hyung. I know that’s all true, but it can be hard to remember it sometimes.”

“Why don't you text Rubin hyung and let him know what’s going on. When we get back to the dorm, you can take a nap before everyone gets home, and we’ll all talk over dinner.”

Jinwoo nodded and pulled out his phone. He had several messages from Jehyun that he read first.

>> Is everything okay?

>> Hyung?

>> What’s going on?

>> Manager-nim just told us you were going to the hospital?!

>> Hyung

>> Jaehan hyung said we’ll talk at home

>> You’re not dying at least, right?

<< No I’m not dying

>> Hyung!

>> What's going on?

<< A lot

<< I’d rather tell everyone at once but everything is okay

<< Or.. it will be at least

>> Okay

>> Manager-nim expects us to finish the full dance practice today but I think the choreographer is giving up, no one is really focused anymore

<< Not surprised

<< I’m gonna text Rubin hyung too

<< See you at home

>> Bye hyung

Jinoo smiled at his phone. Jehyun always managed to help him feel better. 

Thumbing over to Rubin’s contact, Jinwoo found himself with the same hesitation as earlier. Did he really want to bother his hyung about this? Especially since Rubin was no longer his leader or responsible for him? He bit his lip and just stared at the screen until it fell asleep.

>> Boo

The notification flashed across his lock screen.

<< Hyung?

>> Hangyoem said you were nervous to text me

>> Is everything okay?

<< Yeah

<< …

<< Kinda

>> What’s going on Woo?

>> It’s rare for you to be this nervous

<< Doctor wants to run a couple more tests but he’s pretty sure he knows what’s going on

>> ?

>> You aren’t dying right?

<< Jehyun asked me the same thing

<< No, I’m not dying

<<Type 1 Diabetes

>> Shit

>> That’s pretty serious Woo

<< Yeah

<< We’re on our way back to the dorm

<< Everyone else is going to finish practice and we’re going to talk about it when they all get back tonight

>> Have you told your parents yet?

<< No

<< It hasn’t really hit yet that we have an idea of what’s been going on

<<I’m gonna call them tonight

 << I don’t know what to tell them

>> What else was going on besides the exhaustion?

<< A lot

<< I’ve been tired all the time

<< And it’s hard to focus, especially in long rehearsals

<< But I’ve also been eating and drinking a lot more lately

<< And I lost 10kg in 3 weeks

>> Holy shit

>> What’s the next step?

<< 2 tests to confirm diagnosis

<< One they’re running now that somehow can track my glucose levels of the past few months

<< I don’t understand how that works

<< And I have to go back tomorrow morning to test how my body reacts to glucose

<< That’s going to apparently take several hours

“Woo-ah,” Hangyeom called softly.

Jinwoo looked up and finally noticed the car was no longer running, “Sorry hyung. Thanks for telling Rubin hyung to text me.”

“Don’t worry Woo, and you’re welcome. I saw you hesitating and figured you needed a push. Now, why don’t we go inside and order dinner for everyone. I’m sure the rest of the guys will be hungry when they get home.” Hangyeom smiled at his dongsaeng, who smiled back and nodded.

The trio exited the car and made their way inside the quiet dorm. The two elder members herded Jinwoo towards his room to take a nap while they figured out what to order for dinner. 

Once Jinwoo was propped up against the headboard and wrapped in a blanket, he pulled out his phone to continue texting Rubin. A message from Jehyun popped up.

>> We’re on our way home, the choreographer gave up

>> How are you feeling hyung?

<< I’m alright Hyun, just tired

<< Not like that’s anything new

>> It’s been a long day for you

>> Wanna cuddle when I get home?

<< I was gonna ask you to 

<< I’m in bed

<< Hyungs wanted me to rest while they order dinner for us

>> Sweet

>> We’ll be there soon

>> Hwichan wants to join

<< I don’t mind

<< I’m gonna keep texting Rubin hyung until you get here

With a small smile, Jinwoo closed the chat with Jehyun and switched over to Rubin’s thread.

>> Do you want someone with you tomorrow?

>> I’m sure the managers aren’t going to be happy to let Jaehan hyung or Hangyeom miss several hours with you again

<< But what about your studio?

>> I don’t have any appointments in the morning

>> And the others are more than capable to run this place on their own

<< I’d appreciate that then hyung

<< Thank you

<< I just wish I wasn’t so nervous for later

>> What’s happening later?

<< The others are on their way home and I’m supposed to explain what’s going on

<< I just don’t know how they’ll take it

>> What’s your biggest concern?

<< It’s hard to explain

<< I know I’m being kinda irrational

>> Take your time

Jinwoo let out a sigh and locked his phone. He wanted to think for a minute before he tried to explain. While he knew his thoughts didn’t make sense to others, he wanted to try to organise them in a way that was easier to break down.

<< Hangyeom hyung already talked me through it on the ride home

<< But it’s not something I can get over easily

<< I just

<< I don’t want to be a burden on the others

<< I know that they don’t see things like that and they all want to help

<< Which is great, I would do the same for any one of them

<< But I feel like all these things keep popping up 

<< And I don’t really have a say in who knows

>> Do you not want the others to know?

>> Did you not want them to know about your asthma?

<< It doesn’t make sense

<< I don’t care that they know

<< I care that I don’t really get to tell them when I want them to know

>> You don’t like the loss of control

<< Yeah…

<< Like, I didn’t really have a say in telling For X about my asthma

<< They saw the videos and started demanding answers

<< Yes the managers offered to post a statement about what happened, but either way the fans were going to learn about it

<< My only say in it was that I wanted to tell them myself

>> I get it

>> What’s your concern with telling your members?

<< I don’t want them to feel like they have to watch over me all the time

<< I know they don’t mean it, but I can feel the hyungs hover more

Before Jinwoo could type anymore, his bedroom door opened. He looked up to see Jehyun and Hwichan making their way inside. Hwichan dove onto the bed and landed half on Jinwoo’s legs while Jehyun was more calm and sat next to him at the top.

“Hyung!” Jinwoo giggled, “You can just lay here normally too you know.”

“Yeah, but that’s no fun,” Hwichan pouted. “Besides, what if I want to cuddle your tiny legs?”

“Stop being weird hyung. How are you feeling Woo hyung?” Jehyun snuggled into his friend’s side.

“I’m alright. I’m talking things out with Rubin and it’s kinda helping. He’s going with me tomorrow for the more testing I have to do.” Jinwoo leaned into Jehyun.

“More? They don’t know what’s wrong?” Hwichan sat up.

“The doctor has an idea. They’re running one test now and I have to go in tomorrow morning for another one that can only be done while I’m fasting.”

Hwichan scooted his way up the bed to lay against Jinwoo’s other side. “How long do you have to fast for?”

“He said I can’t have anything besides water after 10 tonight and my appointment is at 9am.”

“You have to fast for 11 hours? That seems like a long time.” Jehyun pulled out his phone to look up medical fasting times.

“Yeah, but I’ll be asleep for most of it so it’s not that bad.” Jinwoo started playing with his phone in his lap, “Can we- can we not talk about this right now? I just want to sit here and process.”

Hwichan cuddled closer, “No problem baby, we can do whatever you want. Do you want us to talk about something else or just be quiet?”

“You guys can talk if you want to. I just want to sit here for a bit before dinner.” Jinwoo leaned into Hwichan more before picking up his phone again.

His companions just settled in and offered their quiet support while they each focused on their phones.

Jinwoo opened his conversation with Rubin again to see that the other had sent a few more messages.

>> I know you are more independent

>> But it’s okay to let others take care of you too

>> Your new members care about you and want to make sure you are okay

>> Woo?

>> You okay?

<< Yeah

<< Jehyun and Hwichan are here

<< They ended practice early

>> Okay

>> Do you want to stop?

<< Not really but I am tired

>> How about we talk more tomorrow?

>> Your appointment is at 9 right? I’ll pick you up from your dorm at 8 and we can talk on the drive over

<< Thank you hyung

<< I really appreciate how understanding you are being while I try to work through this

>> Don’t worry about it

>> Get some rest and I’ll see you in the morning

Jinwoo locked his phone and tossed it at the end of his bed. He turned more into Hwichan and settled in to take a nap before dinner and the bombardment he was expecting from the rest of the group.

“You okay baby?” Hwichan asked.

Jinwoo just hummed in response and wrapped an arm around Hwichan’s side.

“Have a good nap, hyung,” Jehyun whispered and curled around Jinwoo’s back. It didn’t take the trio long to fall asleep. 

Chapter Text

An hour later, quiet knocking on the door woke Jehyun.

“Yeah?” He called out while turning towards the noise and rubbing at his eye.

The door opened slowly to reveal Sebin, who cooed at the sight of the trio in their puppy pile on the small bed.

“Shut up hyung,” Jehyun complained and turned back into Jinwoo’s back.

“You guys are adorable,” Sebin snickered. “Come on, dinner’s here and Jaehan hyung wants to talk to everyone.” He made his way into the room and ran his hand down Jehyun’s back.

Jehyun grumbled but sat up, leading Jinwoo to make a noise at the sudden cold. Jehyun just nudged the older boy and moved to get up. Sebin stepped out of his way as the youngest left the room before turning his attention to the two remaining on the bed.

“Woo-ah, come on, it’s time to wake up. Dinner is ready,” Sebin called softly while running his fingers through Jinwoo’s hair.

“How come I don’t get nice wakeup calls like that Sebin-ah?” Hwichan asked, causing said member to startle a little before snickering.

“If I tried to wake you up at all hyung, you’d try to hit me. Help me get the baby up. Jaehan wants us all to eat together tonight.”

Hwichan sat up, pulling Jinwoo up with him, and stretched a little before digging for his phone. “What was decided for dinner? Last I knew the group chat was still fighting over it.”

“The kids threatened a mutiny if we didn’t get pizza tonight and Gyeomie convinced Jaehan to agree.”

“What are we, pirates?” Jinwoo mumbled. He rubbed his face in an attempt to wake up a bit more before turning to Sebin. “Hi hyung,” He yawned.

“Hi baby, have a good nap?” Sebin sat on the bed facing the pair.

“Yeah, I was a lot more tired from today than I thought I would be.”

A noise at the door caused all three to turn to look. Hangyeom was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

“Are you guys coming? The kids are getting hangry and Jaehyan hyung won’t let anyone start without all of us at the table.”

“Gyeomie! It’s so comfy here!” Hwichan whined and flopped back into the pillows with his arm flung over his eyes.

Jinwoo giggled at his hyung’s antics and poked at his side, “Come on hyung, I’m hungry.”

Hwichan peeked out from under his arm, “You are?”

“That’s part of what the doctor said was wrong today. The sooner you get up, the sooner we can all talk about it and get everyone on the same page.” Hangyeom stood straight and stepped toward the trio on the bed.

Sebin stood up and started pulling Jinwoo up with him, who went willingly. Once the youngest was on his feet, Sebin pulled him into a hug.

“I can see how your brain was working earlier. Whatever happens, we will all help you. You are not alone, and you are not a burden,” Sebin whispered into Jinwoo’s ear.

Jinwoo just tucked his face into Sebin’s chest and hugged back tighter.

“What did you say to make the baby so shy?” Hwichan laughed as he got out of the bed.

“Just the truth. Now let’s go. If the baby wants to eat, we better feed him.” Sebin released Jinwoo from their hug but left his arm around his shoulders and pulled him toward the door. “Come on, hyung,” Sebin called over his shoulder.

The group made their way downstairs to join the others in the kitchen.

Walking in, the quartet was greeted by a couple of the boys but most of them were focused on digging into the several boxes of pizza lined up on the counters. Once everyone was sat down around the relatively small table with food and drinks, Jaehan stood to address everyone.

“I know everyone wants to know what is going on. Let us explain first before you all start yelling, okay?” Once Jaehan received nods or verbal agreements from everyone, he turned to Jinwoo, “Do you want to explain Woo or do you want us to?”

Jinwoo just ducked his head and gave a small shake. Hangyeom rubbed Jinwoo’s back and turned to Jaehan, “You wanna start hyung?”

“Sure.” Jaehan sat back down and cleared his throat. “So, I know you guys have all noticed Jinwoo’s weight loss over the last few weeks -”

“Wait what?” Jinwoo’s head shot up and looked around the room. The others gave him shy smiles or looked down at their plates.

“We were actually going to talk to you about it tonight, Woo. Before you got sent to the doctor,” Hwichan answered.

“Everyone was concerned and came to talk to me about it on their own. But we all noticed.” Jaehan put his hand on Jinwoo’s shoulder next to him and gave it a squeeze. “Anyway, the weight loss is part of it. A couple of you also mentioned in your concerns that you were confused because you saw Jinwoo eating more but he still lost a lot of weight.”

“Weight loss, increased appetite and thirst, exhaustion. Dr. Lim was concerned about these and sent us to his friend at the hospital not far from the company for a couple tests. They did some blood work while we sat with Dr. Lee and talked about everything that was going on.” Hangyeom continued.

“It’s something metabolic isn’t it?” Yechan asked.

“Metabolic?” Junghoon asked through a mouth full of pizza.

“That’s gross Hoonie!” Kevin complained.

“Metabolic. Something’s going on with his metabolism and it sounds like his body isn’t absorbing food right.” Yechan explained.

“Kind of Chan-ah. It’s not his metabolism causing issues. After the initial blood tests came back, the doctor explained he thinks it might be Type 1 Diabetes.” Jaehan took control of the conversation again.

“Holy shit.” Jehyun cut back in. “That actually makes sense.”

“But isn’t Woo-ah too old for diabetes? I thought it developed in kids,” Sebin asked.

“We ah, we asked Dr. Lee that too. He said that it can still develop in adults but with people my age, they tend to look for external factors rather than genetics,” Jinwoo spoke up quietly.

“External factors like what?” Kevin asked.

“Things that can cause damage to the pancreas. Injuries like a car accident, or illnesses. Dr. Lee thinks that when Woo got sick last month with the flu, it was left long enough before the managers took him to the hospital and attacked his pancreas,” Hangyeom answered.

“Wait, like they waited too long when his fever was sky high and now his pancreas doesn’t work? What the fuck!” Hwichan exploded. “I told you we needed to take him in the first time his fever was that high!” He jumped from his chair and started pacing in the narrow space between the cabinets and chairs.

“Hwichan, calm down. We all wanted to bring him to the hospital. We didn’t have a car here and we were scared to call an ambulance,” Sebin interjected.

“Hyung, he’s right. It’s not anyone’s fault. I got sick and didn’t get help fast enough. But I’m okay.” Jinwoo reached behind him and caught Hwichan’s sleeve as he paced by.

“No, the managers are at fault, Jinwoo. You could have died.”

“But I didn’t hyung. I’m okay.”

Hwichan sighed but stopped pacing. He leaned against the back of Jinwoo’s chair and wrapped his arms around his shoulders in a hug.

“You’re allowed to be upset at that, Hwichan, just calm down a little. Dr. Lee wasn’t happy when we told him what happened. He made us promise that if any of us get sick like that again, we won’t wait to get medical attention,” Jaehan explained.

“Hyung, you said earlier that you have to go back for more testing tomorrow. What are they looking for if the doctor is sure what’s wrong?” Jehyun asked.

Jinwoo leaned back into Hwichan’s hold and grabbed onto his wrists for something to hold before answering. “They’re running a test now that looks at my glucose levels for the last few months called an A1C test. I don’t really understand how it works, but it can somehow tell the doctor how my blood sugar has been. Then tomorrow I’ll go in and do a glucose test. Dr. Lee said that this one tracks how my body absorbs glucose on a day to day basis.”

“Is that why he wants you to fast overnight?” Hwichan asked, leaning to the side to look at Jinwoo’s face.

“Yeah. They have to look at my fasting levels to set a baseline. Then I have to drink a glucose concentrate and they’ll track how my body breaks it down over a couple hours.”

“Will you have to change your diet and stuff? Like are you basically stuck eating vegetables for the rest of your life or something?” Hyuk finally chimed in.

“That’s a good question. We don’t eat junk all day long but does this mean you won’t be able to have things like ice cream or cookies anymore?” Taedong also spoke up for the first time.

“Not really. The nurse said they’d explain more and go over a diet plan tomorrow based on the tests. But she did explain that it would mostly be making sure I’m eating right and getting the right nutrition. And things like exercise and dance will have to be adjusted to make sure I’m not over doing it.”

“Don’t you have to do stuff for it all day?” Yechan asked.

“The nurse said they’d talk about his options tomorrow but mentioned he’d most likely get a device to wear to test his levels automatically,” Jaehan answered.

“Isn’t type 1 the version where you have to give yourself insulin? Like, your body doesn’t make it anymore and you have to give yourself shots when you eat?” Taedong asked.

“Yeah, not looking forward to that. But I’m sure if they have something to test blood sugar all the time, they have to have something for insulin too. That’s something else I’ll have to ask about tomorrow.”

“Are you guys taking him to his appointment tomorrow too? Will the managers allow that?” Kevin asked.

Hangyeom and Jaehan shared a look before Jaehan answered, “We didn’t ask but-”

Jinwoo interrupted, “Rubin hyung and I were talking earlier and he offered to take me. I don’t want you guys to get in trouble for missing more practice than necessary.”

“Jinwoo. We are going with you. At least one of us will be there too.” Jaehan insisted. “It’s not that we don’t trust you, it’s that we don’t trust them anymore.”

Everyone froze at his words. No one wanted to say it out loud, but it was clear everyone felt the same way.

“Hyung-”

Jaehan interrupted, “Don’t hyung me. I just said what we are all thinking. They haven’t done anything since debut to show they care, and things are getting worse.”

“Sending hyung to the doctor today was the best thing they’ve done in a while. But what can we do? The contracts won’t let us leave.” Kevin spoke up.

“We are working on that. Right now we need to focus on Jinwoo.” Hwichan responded.

Hangyeom turned to Jinwoo, “Who do you want to go with you and Rubin hyung tomorrow? Don’t worry about consequences or what the managers are going to say. Who do you want with you?”

Jinwoo looked between his hyungs nervously before deciding, "Hangyeom hyung. Please."

"Okay baby, I'll go with you. Why don't we finish dinner and all go watch a movie together?" Hangyeom wrapped an arm around Jinwoo's back while addressing the rest of the members.

"Let's just take the food into the living room. It's too crowded with all of us in here and it'll be more comfortable," Hwichan suggested.

There were general rumblings of consent from the group before they slowly started moving. A couple of the younger members went into the bedrooms on the first floor to grab blankets and pillows to make things more comfortable. The older members gathered up plates and drinks before migrating into the living room. It was mutually decided that Jinwoo was going to get a seat on one of the couches regardless of any complaints.

Once everyone was settled around the room, a quick round of rock-paper-scissors helped decide they were going to have a Marvel marathon. As the night wore on, members were slowly falling asleep until Jaehan turned the movie off and sent everyone off to bed.

_

The next morning started off on the quiet side compared to the usual chaos of 11 boys all trying to get ready at the same time. Everyone was in a somber mood after the angry wake up call from one of the managers yelling at Jaehan.

“What the hell do you mean Hangyeom isn’t going to be at practice this morning?! It’s bad enough Xen is out again, now you’re down another member? We start recording tomorrow.”

“I understand sir, but we are recording individual shots tomorrow. And both Hangyeom and Xen have the choreography down. Plus the appointment is only in the morning, they’ll join us for the afternoon rehearsals.” Jaehan tried to reason.

“I don’t care, the answer is no! Xen is old enough to go to this appointment on his own, he doesn’t need an escort.” Jeongin was just getting angrier.

Jinwoo tried to step in, “Hyung it’s okay, I can go alone.”

“No. Hangyeom is going with you.You guys need to leave now if you want to be on time.” Jaehan insisted. He shared a look with Hangyeom over Jinwoo’s head before turning back to the manager standing in their kitchen.

Hangyeom grabbed Jinwoo’s arm and pulled him towards the door, ignoring Jinwoo’s whispered pleading to wait. It was only once they were out of the building and making their way down the street that Hangyeom acknowledged Jinwoo.

“Woo-ah, I know you don’t want us to get in trouble, but at this point, we can’t do anything right in management’s eyes. We will be okay, so let’s get you feeling better too, okay?”

Jinwoo just nodded his head and interlaced their fingers. Hangyeom gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand.
“Where are we meeting hyung?” Hangyeom asked after a minute or so of quiet.

“Eh…” Jinwoo pulled out his phone to double check, “We agreed to meet at the park down the road.”

“At least we’re going in the right direction,” Hangyeom laughed. “Wouldn’t it have been awkward if we had to turn around and pass the managers again?”

Jinwoo giggled, “Nah, we could have called hyung to come pick us up at the cafe or something. He would have laughed at us but he wouldn’t have cared.”

“Do you know what his car looks like at least?” Hangyeom asked as they were approaching the park.

“Something blue, I’ll know it when I see it,” Jinwoo answered.

They didn’t have to look hard. As they were approaching the parking spaces along the side of the park, Rubin was leaning against the side of his car waiting for them. Once he noticed the two, he waved at them and stood to greet the two properly.

Rubin gave Jinwoo a big hug, one of those you feel for days with a tight squeeze and the desire to hold on forever. When they let go, Hangyeom bowed before Rubin pulled him into a smaller hug and ushered the pair into his car. A quick confirmation of the hospital, and they were off.

Rubin looked into the rearview mirror at a stoplight and made eye contact with Jinwoo in the backseat, “Do you want to talk more about what’s going on or do you want to wait until we get more answers?”

“What were you guys talking about?” Hangyeom asked, turning in the passenger seat to be able to look at both Rubin and Jinwoo.

“Mostly what we talked about yesterday on the way home. I don’t want the younger ones to feel like they have to take care of me,” Jinwoo answered, looking at his lap and playing with his fingers to avoid Hangyeom’s eye.

“We also talked about his feeling of lack of control over who gets told things and when,” Rubin added.

“Baby, we never wanted you to feel like you don’t get a say in who knows things.”

Jinwoo sighed and ran his hand through his hair and looked up. “It’s not you guys really, it’s more… I don’t know how to say it. I just…”

Rubin took over, “He told me last night that a few months ago with his asthma, it’s not that he didn’t want to tell anyone, it was more that he didn’t have a say in who found out or how. He didn’t like the fact that his choice of who to tell was taken from him both by the videos of him on stage and having to do the live.”

“Okay, we can work with that. Who do you want to know about what’s going on now?” Hangyeom questioned. “Other than the obvious of your parents and stuff.”

Jinwoo hummed, “I know I want to let the fans know at some point soon, but I want to be able to figure things out first. I’m sure they’re going to have questions and I want to be comfortable with what’s happening to be able to answer them properly. I don’t really have a choice about telling management but I need to find a different way to get any prescriptions I’ll need.”

“Wait what?” Hangyeom choked out, turning almost completely around in his seat to look at Jinwoo fully.

“What do you mean by that Woo? What’s going on with your meds?” Rubin hissed.

“The last month? Month and a half? It’s been hard to get the managers to either call in my refills or pick them up when they’re ready. I didn’t have my daily migraine prescription for three days before I got sick.”

“What the actual fuck?” Rubin started but Hangyeom cut in.

“They’ve been withholding your meds? Did you tell anyone? What am I saying, of course you didn’t. They would have said something to me or Jaehan, who would have told me.” Hangyeom pulled out his phone, “When was the last time this happened?”

“Eh, a few days ago. I asked Jeongin-ssi if someone could refill my inhaler and he kind of blew me off for a few days. The vocal teacher ended up taking me to get it a couple days ago during my lesson because I was struggling a little.”

Hangyeom took a deep breath before responding, “Please tell me this happened through texting.”

“Yeah, I’ll send you screenshots when we’re waiting.”

“Why do you want screenshots?” Rubin questioned as he pulled into an open parking spot near the main doors.

“We’re gathering evidence of how they’ve been treating us to be able to file a lawsuit to terminate our contracts.”

“Is it really that bad?”
“Worse,” Hangyeom grimaced. “Jaehan and I have been gathering evidence for a few months now, and Hwichan and Sebin are looking into what we can do as a next step. And yes, before you ask, we have everything saved in multiple locations.”

Rubin sat in silence for a moment before responding, “I don’t really know how I could help, but I’m always willing to listen if any of you guys need to talk.”

“Thanks hyung. Let’s just focus on Jinwoo for now and get things figured out here.”

With that, the trio climbed out of the car and made their way into the hospital. Hangyeom led them past the front desk and towards the elevators, having remembered the route from the day before. It didn’t take long for the trio to arrive at the registration desk.

“Hello! Who is here to be seen today?” The young lady at the desk asked.

“I am,” Jinwoo raised his hand a little. “Lee Jinwoo, I have an appointment at 9am.”

With a couple clicks of her mouse, the receptionist pulled up Jinwoo’s account. “I see you were just here yesterday, so I just need to ask a couple questions. Can you confirm your birthday?”

“February 20th, 1998.”

“And did you fast last night as instructed?”

“Yes.”

“When did you last have something to eat or drink?”

“I had a little bit of water with my meds this morning but Dr. Lee said that was okay yesterday. Other than that, I didn’t have anything after dinner, around 8pm I think.”

“Good, how are you feeling this morning?”

“Hungry,” Jinwoo giggled and the other two with him smirked, “But other than that, I’m a little dizzy and it’s a bit hard to focus this morning.”

“As in mentally or like blurry vision?”

“Both. It takes me a bit to wake up in the morning so the mental thing isn’t new and my eyes are like, fuzzy? But I can still focus and stuff.”

“Okay. Go ahead and grab a seat, I’ll let the nurse know you’re here and we’ll get started shortly.” The receptionist directed the trio to the waiting room.

Within a few minutes, the trio was led back to an exam room where Jinwoo was instructed to sit on the bed and the other two were directed to the chairs off to the side. Jinwoo’s vitals were taken quickly and recorded in his chart.

“I know the receptionist asked a few questions when you checked in, so I apologize if I’m asking them again, I just need to put them into your chart. When was the last time you had anything to eat or drink, Jinwoo-ssi?” The nurse asked when she was done inputting his vitals into the computer.

“I had a little water with my medications this morning but Dr. Lee said that would be okay. Other than that, we had dinner around 8pm last night and I haven’t had anything since.”

“Yes, that’s fine. What did you eat?”

“I had two slices of cheese pizza and a coke. I was hungry later but it was after the time Dr. Lee said I had to stop eating for today’s tests so I didn’t have anything else.” Jinwoo glanced at the other two, nervous for how things were going to play out.

“Okay, were they large slices, small? How big were they? It just helps us get an idea of what your index should be for the initial glucose test.”

“Uh, they were two slices of a standard large pizza I guess? Like, they weren’t massive but they also weren’t small.”

“Okay, and when you woke up this morning, you didn’t do any exercising or dance practice, correct?”

“Yeah, I woke up, took my meds, and got ready to come here. I don’t typically have dance practice until the afternoons and we’re getting ready to film our music video over the next couple days.”

“How are you feeling overall this morning?”

“A little dizzy, tired. It’s kinda hard to focus. I feel like I could eat an entire buffet by myself.”

“When you say hard to focus, do you mean visually or mentally?”

“Both, everything is a little fuzzy looking like I need new glasses but I can push through. And it feels like my thoughts are a little slow but that’s normal in the mornings.”

“All right. I’m going to go grab the supplies to get your fasting glucose levels and then we’ll go from there.”

The nurse stepped out of the room and Hangyeom moved to sit next to Jinwoo on the bed.

“How are you doing?” Hangyeom asked.

“I’m alright I think. Just nervous.”

Hangyeom wrapped his arm around Jinwoo’s shoulders, “I know, but everything will be okay. Today we are just getting answers. We’ll deal with tomorrow when it comes.”

Jinwoo leaned into Hangyeom and answered, “I know hyung, I’m happy to be able to know what’s going on. But at the same time it’s a lot to take in and there are going to have to be a lot of changes.”

“And you’ve got a lot of people around you willing to help and learn with you,” Rubin chimed in.

“So everyone keeps telling me. And I appreciate it, I really do, I just don’t like feeling like a burden or that they see it as an obligation.”

“Man, we really need to work on your self confidence. We will tell you as many times as we need to, neither you nor your medical issues are a burden. We all would do this for any of the members if anyone needed it.” Hangyeom gave Jinwoo a little shake.

Before Jinwoo could respond, a light knock sounded at the door.

“Come in,” Rubin called out.

The door opened and the nurse returned carrying a caddy full of items needed for a blood draw. She quickly put it down on the small silver table on wheels before turning to speak directly to the three boys in the room.

“Okay, I’m going to explain what’s going to happen today. So first, I’m going to draw blood like you had done yesterday. This allows us to gauge your fasting sugar currently without any intervention and Dr. Lee wants to run a couple more labs. We’ll take 3 tubes for that and send them to the lab. We’ll get your fasting level quickly, and once we do, you’ll be given a glucose solution. Once you’ve had your solution, we will come back to do finger prick tests at the one, two, and three hour marks. This will allow us to see how your body is reacting to the glucose and if it is responding correctly or not. After the third prick test, Dr. Lee will come in and discuss your options and where to go based on the results. Do you have any questions?”

Jinwoo sighed and responded, “No, I kinda just want to get it over with. I’m not exactly the biggest fan of getting poked at, especially two days in a row.”

The nurse smiled, “That’s fair, not many people are.” She wheeled herself over on the stool, dragging the table with her, “You are a good candidate for a CGM and eventually for an insulin pump, though we typically like to see those with new diagnoses to get used to giving themselves injections for several months before transitioning to a pump just incase the pump fails for whatever reason and they have to go back to injections.”

While explaining, the nurse got her gloves on and everything set out for the blood draw. As she prepped Jinwoo’s arm, she continued the conversation, “The nice thing about a CGM is that while it comes with its own handheld device, you can also pair it with your phone. We have younger kids who carry the device and both their parents have the app on their phones so they are able to monitor how the kid is doing throughout the day.”

“So a couple of our members could have access to it in case Jinwoo is having a problem? As long as Jinwoo agrees of course.” Hangyeom asked.

“Yes. So for instance, if you, Jinwoo, miscalculate something and you drop into a low and are unable to alert someone or correct it yourself, another member could get an alert that you need help. Some of the CGMs have a setting so while they can see your numbers any time, they don’t get alerts to check in unless you were to go above or below a certain number. We actually treat an American figure skater training here in Seoul who has that set up with her brother. He’s an idol too but they live together in the same building as his group members.” The nurse quickly finished up what she was doing and grabbed the patient labels on the table before asking, “Can you just confirm your name and date of birth for me one more time?”

“Lee Jinwoo, and February 20, 1998.” Jinwoo answered as he held pressure on the cotton ball pressed to the crook of his elbow.

The nurse started applying the labels to the tubes, “Perfect! I will get these sent down to the lab and will be back in about ten minutes with the glucose solution. Do you have any questions?”

Jinwoo shook his head, “I think all my questions are based on the results for today. If I start asking them now and something changes, I’ll just get confused.”

“Alright, I will be back shortly!” With a smile, the nurse gathered up the caddy and headed out the door.

“What do you want to do, Woo?” Rubin asked from his chair.

“I kinda just want to zone out for a bit. Maybe take a nap during the hour waiting. I’m just very tired right now.”

Hangyeom pulled the younger boy closer to him and gave his shoulder a squeeze, “That’s fine. Do you want us to do anything in particular? Let anyone know what’s going on?”

“I mean, if Jaehan asks for an update you can tell him. But I’d rather wait to tell anyone else until we get home.” Jinwoo rested his head on Hangyeom’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

“That’s fine, baby. Do you mind if we do some research while you’re napping? It will allow us to come up with some questions for Dr. Lee at the end. And get some info on what to expect in terms of any diet or schedule changes we have to plan for.”

“Go ahead hyung, it’s a good idea.”

Rubin pulled out his phone to start searching the internet while Hangyeom responded, “Don’t fall asleep yet. Once you have the glucose, you can lay down on my lap and have a nap, okay baby?”

Jinwoo just hummed from his spot on Hangyeom’s shoulder.

The trio stayed quiet until the nurse came back with a small cup. Jinwoo sat up and the three briefly bowed in greeting again.

“Okay! We just heard back from the lab and your fasting sugar is currently at 158. We usually see that in diabetics who are getting diagnosed or are poorly at managing their condition,” the nurse smiled gently. “So the next step is to drink this and wait.” She handed over the cup to Jinwoo.

He took a brief glance inside before sighing and swallowed the contents all in one go with a grimace, “Man that’s awful.”

“It’s definitely not the most delicious thing to drink but it is the best tasting out of all our options,” she sympathized and took the cup back. “Is there anything I can get you boys while you’re waiting?”

Jinwoo shook his head but Rubin spoke up, “Can we get a blanket? Woo-ah wants to take a nap.”

“No problem, I’ll be right back.” And with that the nurse left.

It didn’t take long for the boys to get settled in the room and for Jinwoo to fall asleep. With the bed tucked into the corner, Hangyeom was able to turn sideways and rest his back on the shorter section of the wall. Jinwoo was curled up with his head in Hangyeom's lap and Rubin covered him in the blanket the nurse brought to them.

Hangyeom and Rubin talked quietly about the things they were finding and sending each other links to resources that would be helpful to both Jinwoo and the rest of Omega X as a whole. Rubin was focusing more on devices and care supplies they would need, and Hangyeom was focusing on signs to watch out for based on highs and lows, when to get help, and how to help in emergency situations.

Halfway through the first hour, Hangyeom noticed Jinwoo was shivering slightly.

“Hey, hyung, can you pass me my sweatshirt? Woo-ah is shivering,” Hangyeom asked.

Rubin stood up and covered Jinwoo in the sweater before resting the back of his hand on the younger’s forehead. “He doesn’t feel warm at least. And the nurse didn’t say anything about his temp when she was doing his vitals. Hopefully it’s just from the a/c and he’s not getting sick again.”

“Hopefully,” Hangyeom repeated.

The nurse was able to return and do the finger sticks at the one, two, and three hour marks without waking Jinwoo from his nap. After the first stick, she came back with a second blanket for Jinwoo and offered more to the others. Hangyeom waved her off and explained that Jinwoo has always been sensitive to the cold but he and Rubin were both fine.

The nurse finished recording the third reading in the computer and turned to the two older boys. “I’m going to go talk with Dr. Lee about Jinwoo’s results. We’ll be back in about 10 minutes if you want to wake him up.” Without waiting for a response, she was up and out the door.

Hangyeom started running his fingers through Jinwoo’s hair and called his name softly, “Woo-ah, come on, time to wake up. Come on Jinwoo, the doctor will be in shortly.”

Jinwoo groaned and brought one hand up to rub at his eyes, “Is it time for the first prick test?” he yawned.

Rubin giggled a little before responding, “They’re all done baby. You slept through them all. Dr. Lee is on his way in to talk to us about the results of everything and your next steps.”

Jinwoo’s eyes snapped open and he turned to the oldest. “How did I sleep through getting stabbed? Three times?”

“You just did,” Hangyeom answered. “Now come on and sit up. Rubin hyung and I have some questions for Dr. Lee, do you?”

Jinwoo sat up slowly with Hangyeom’s help and shrugged. “Kinda, I mostly just want to hear what he’s going to say and go from there. Feel free to ask your questions whenever.”

The boys sat in the quiet for a few minutes while waiting for the doctor to come in. Hangyeom and Rubin finished typing out their last questions on their phones while Jinwoo woke up a bit more.

With a quick knock, the door was being pushed open and Dr. Lee poked his head in.

“Hello!” He called out and stepped through the door.

The boys quickly bowed in greeting and quietly responded while he took a seat.

“Okay! I know this is going to be a lot, and we will send you home with plenty of resources, but we have quite a bit to talk about. First of all, Jinwoo, your results today confirmed my and Jongin’s suspicions. You do have Type 1 Diabetes.” Dr. Lee paused for a moment to let the three process what he just said.

Rubin moved to sit on the open side of Jinwoo and took one of his hands to squeeze, Hangyeom wrapped an arm around his back, and both older boys leaned in closer to offer comfort at the news.

“I know you are going to have a lot of questions, and we are here to answer them all. Feel free to ask as we go along, okay?” Dr. Lee waited for a nod from Jinwoo before continuing.

Over the next hour, all three were instructed on what to look out for, how to manually check Jinwoo’s levels, and how to administer the insulin using the injector pens as well as how to store them before use. They were given guides and app suggestions for the insulin calculations, as well as food guides that offered low sugar alternatives and how to plan for highs and lows. Jinwoo was taught how to attach the cgm and pair it with both his phone and the handheld device.

Based on Jinwoo’s lifestyle as an idol and placement requirements for the different types of glucose monitors, Dr. Lee decided the best option would be the Dexcom G7. It is small and discrete and can be placed in different locations without interfering with the results but also allowing for easy concealment for promotions.

“They do sell stickers that go over the monitor as sometimes the adhesive doesn’t always last the full ten days. And that’s okay. The monitor itself is supposed to last ten days but sometimes they expire before that, and either your app or the handheld will give you a few warnings. It takes an hour to calibrate a new monitor, so during that time, if you feel off or will be eating or anything, you need to rely on the finger stick method to keep track of your levels.”

The two older boys were diligently taking notes and asking their questions as they came up, and Jinwoo asked a few of his own.

“Now with diet. While yes you have to watch your sugar intake and plan for things like that, the biggest thing to track is actually your carbohydrates intake. Your body uses carbs as its long term energy source and breaks it down into sugars as it’s absorbed. So while you should be opting for low sugar or zero sugar options, also be aware of the carb levels.” Dr. Lee gave them more apps to help track intake levels as well as some sites with recipes or options for dining out.

“Now, I think that is a lot of information thrown at you boys today. If you have any more questions, feel free to email me. I’m going to have you schedule a few follow ups at the front desk just to make sure things are going well, and then we’ll go from there. Important things to remember, always check your levels, bring several snacks and drinks any time you leave home, and if you’re not sure how much insulin to give, it's easier to correct giving too little than it is to correct giving too much.”

Without much preamble, Dr. Lee stood up and left the room.

Hangyeom was the first to speak, “That was a lot. I know I’m going to be referencing these handouts for a while.”

“Why don’t we stop at a stationary store so you guys can get a binder to keep everything in? With page protectors and dividers and all that. With 11 of you, it’s going to be a lot of handling and this way they’ll stay protected and organized.”

“That’s a good idea hyung,” Jinwoo agreed. “Maybe we can make copies so we can have one at the dorm, one or two at the company, and one to take to promotions.”

“I like that idea Woo-ah, good thinking. And every once in a while we’ll get them all together to make sure they all stay up to date with your treatment plans. We can even add your asthma and migraine info, as well as anyone else’s.”

“Sounds like a plan, stationary store, grab something for lunch, and back to the dorm?” Rubin confirmed.

“We have to go to the company for practice but everything else sounds good to me,” Hangyeom agreed. “The managers were mad that I came today and Jaehan pushed back saying we would be in for the afternoon rehearsals.”

“So, you’re saying there’s no rush to get you guys to the company?” Rubin grinned, causing the other two to smile back at him.

With that, the three boys gathered up their things and the bag of supplies given to them by Dr. Lee, and headed to check out with the receptionist.

In the car, Jinwoo snapped a photo of his new cgm on his abdomen and sent it to the members only group chat with the caption, ‘At least we know what’s wrong now’, before silencing his phone and putting it back in his pocket. He decided he wanted to let the hyungs deal with the chaos of the members’ responses.

Chapter Text

Hello! I just want to give a quick update on this story.

I am working on the next chapter and am approximately 1/3 of the way done. I changed jobs last summer and my time to write has been drastically been reduced. That and the plot bunnies keep running away. I've been taking notes when ideas pop up so I can continue writing when I have time, which has helped greatly in remembering what I want the next parts to be.

I've also been doing a lot of research for the upcoming chapter, like a lot of research. I spent probably close to 2 hours on Google Maps and Naver Maps trying to scope out locations in Seoul that meet my needs for where the story is going while also being physically possible based on where Spire used to be. I.e., Spire used to be in Gwangjin-gu but I send them to Mapo-dong to do things, it wouldn't be possible without taking hours to travel halfway across Seoul.

Some of my research has also been into Type 1 Diabetes. I've been researching and double checking my info for this entire story but I want to make sure I am being as accurate as I can be while double checking information I learned when several family members were going through testing and diagnosis themselves. Granted the diagnosis and treatment options I've given in chapter 2 were based on the US healthcare system since that's where I am and it's the easiest information for me to find. Things could be done differently across the world.

TL:dr, A new chapter is coming soon, I just need to find the time to finish writing it.