Archive of Our Own ^beta

Arthur was always fond of the sky. Ever changing, covered in cerulean blue always seemed to tell a story on its own, beyond all things human and time itself. Because as Pendragon learned time was a cruel thing, something he grew weary of, something he despised with all his being. He doesn’t know how many centuries it has been, how many people he met, how much time he has wasted. When peaceful moments seemed rare and few, when he could hear his thoughts loud and clear, ringing in his head as his doubts grew and panic slowly managed to set in. He could still see his beautiful eyes he grew to love, the jewellery on his horns he chose above all the rest and was allowed to put there, the freckles dusted on his skin. He could see the smile that got him through the hardest times, feel the warmth that spread all around his body when he hugged him and pulled him in close. He wanted to prolong this moment, make it last forever, escape the only thing that took away it all. Arthur wanted to escape time itself, feel the world freeze around him, see the clouds stop high above his head. 

But Arthur had to open his eyes. Had to get up and continue searching because he knew, somewhere deep down that Merlin was still out there. Because he couldn’t accept the world without him. Because as long as there was a glimpse of hope, a thought crossing his mind Merlin wasn’t truly gone. He was still there, and knowing him, he was also searching for his way back. And Pendragon was going to whatever it takes to help him out.

But how the hell was he supposed to find a love lost in time?

He could feel the pocket watch stored safely in his coat and he could trace all of the cuts on its surface. He remembers the first time he saw it centuries ago. When Merlin was still by his side, crying his eyes out when he talked about his closest friend, William, that made it for him. How this watch held meaning far beyond his understanding back then. He could still hear the faint, never stopping ticking of the mechanism. Arthur also remembers the last time he saw it, laying in the middle of the massive battlefield they never wanted to see again without Merlin in sight. They both knew about the risks, they both knew how dangerous messing with time was. But Emrys was a hero and he played that role till the very end. And ultimately he was the one that paid the price.

Arthur never looked at the watch again. It was painful, reminded him of how truly lonely he had become. The world lost its colours, became a dull and tiresome place. And cold. It became so painfully cold. But Arthur still believed.

Arthur still believed that the sky above is Caribbean blue.

He has been to many places over the centuries, he met many people he didn’t remember the names of and that were long gone by now. But time? Time was still everlasting, constantly changing. And nothing pissed him off more than that simple fact. He watched the world change and shift, he watched as empires fell, watched the trees grow from small saplings, he watched as rust started to cover the metal. But somehow Greenwich was always the place he found himself back in. Surrounded by the thing he hated most in the entire world, he often walked around the park, noticed by only a few around him. Like a ghost strolling around the crowded alleys, watching tourists go by, greeting people over the years seeing how they changed. Watching their entire lives go by in front of his own eyes. Because at that point, who even was he exactly? He was a shell of his former self, a spectre condemned to eternal life, that he was going to spend searching for something out of his reach. Bound to pain and heartache. A damned soul looking for his long lost lover. 

So he searched, and looked and hoped. He prayed to every single entity he knew and heard of, that his Merlin was still out there. That this green-haired bundle of joy was still fighting. That his love still remembered him and was looking for him too.

And he walked by the clock again, proudly mounted into a brick wall. Taunting him all those years, because he knew deep down that the watch in his pocket showed exactly the same thing to a second. He hated it, he hated knowing how much time passed every single day but he couldn’t bring himself to leave this place once and for all. So he did what he knew what to do best. He strolled for hours on end, watching the clouds pass by and run away from him in a hurry. He told stories about white figures up in the sky to curious kids, told their meaning to the grown ups that cared enough to listen. Sat down with the elders in the company of the wind.

Eurus.

He watched as the sun rose and looked over the horizon as it greeted him each day. And he welcomed it back letting its rays cover his skin as he closed his eyes taking in the peaceful moments. He let his mind wander and escape into its own little world. He saw the green and the blues covering the world. The gold trying to find its place among all the colours. He listened to the songs sung by the birds as he watched everything wake up and get ready to face the day. Getting ready for a fresh start not knowing what today will bring with the dose of uncertainty that he grew to love. He felt the water droplets that piled up on the grass, as he took in the first deep breath to start the day. It became a routine, something that kept him sane and collected. Something that managed to help him not lose track of time. And he appreciated every second of it more with each passing day.

Notus.

 He could feel every change in the wind, he could see every story told, up in the sky. He watched as people came into the park, some to listen to his tales with hunger for knowledge and thirst for answering the questions lingering in their minds. He could feel the wind guiding him as his words cut through the air straight to the hearts of his listeners. Some were watching him closely, their eyes shining bright, head full of ideas. Some were looking up at the sky, trying to see the stories he spoke of, each seeing their own. Because as he learned the greatest tool that helped him decipher the hidden meanings was his imagination itself. Letting it roam free, words rolled off of his tongue as he spoke of kings and knights, farmers and fisherman, sorcerers and wizards of old ancient times. Tales that kept on living in people’s heads as they came back years after years to hear about more, to learn about something new. Their eyes filled with wonder and wind in their hearts to guide them through.

Zephyrus.

Arthur heard every small movement of the leaves, he could feel the earth and grass touching his feet swaying to the melody played by the wind. He spoke of bards and monarchs, about music that filled the human soul. The simple tune filling his head, guiding his thoughts and dreams. He sang about times that came to be and that are yet to come, dragging everyone that listened in by his song, intriguing everyone by his tale. Because he talked to every single person there personally and talked to no one in particular. Moved the strings of one's heart, pulled and manipulated them, for them to hear and see the things he did. Showed how to open their eyes and see the world in front of them in colour. Even if his lost its colour centuries ago. Because as Arthur learned humans were changeable and even the gentlest of the winds could change what they felt with ease. Could rewrite their entire lives.

Boreas.

It was the evening that left Arthur with the feeling of bitterness spreading throughout his body. As he watched the sun go down, bidding him farewell by covering his face with gold one last time for the day, his soul grew lonelier. People left and the clouds started to become impossible to see as even them stopped telling their stories wanting to rest. And as the wind picked up, became harsh and cold, so did Arthur’s mind. As the rain picked up the images came back. Images of that dreadful night. 

The ticking of the clock became more prominent. It messed with his head and his eyes filled with tears as he dropped to his knees to look at the sun before it too hid under the horizon to fill the sky of other people in need. Leaving him behind in sorrow, lost somewhere deep in his thoughts. He looked at the brick wall, seeing the ticking clock. Its hands rushed forward without stopping and at times like this he really thought they could use a break.

They could just stop. Cease to move, stop torturing him with each passing second. Just stop.

The shattering of the glass took even him by surprise as he looked at his bruised hand covered in warm red.

Aeolus.

The ticking stopped. The sun hasn’t moved from its place barely above the horizon. Everything went quiet. Everything became peaceful. He could hear his rapid breathing loud and clear, the images were gone without a trace in his mind. Arthur closed his eyes for a second and opened them after taking in a deep breath. Only then he saw the droplets of rain hover mid-air. Only then was he able to see the hands of the clock freeze, with the intention of what seemed like never moving again.

“You did it, cariad .”

His eyes grew wide when he heard the voice behind him. The voice he dreamt of hearing for centuries on end, the voice that belonged to the only person that filled Arthur’s thoughts for a long time. Was he dreaming? Did the gods hear his pleas and decided to play with his mind in the cruellest way imaginable?

One sentence was all it took to take all of his worries away.

“ So the world goes round and round, with all you ever knew .”

Arthur still remembered the day they met like it was yesterday. He remembered all the years they spent together. Remembered the first song they listened to on their favourite rooftop, as if it was engraved in his mind ever since. So he turned around, replying in the only way he currently probably knew how to.

“ They say the sky-high above is Caribbean blue. ”

And when he looked up, he saw Merlin. He saw his relieved smile, his cheeks covered in tears, his red puffy eyes and even then, to Arthur, Merlin was the prettiest human ever walking on this cursed Earth. He wanted to move. He wanted to run, he wanted to scream his name, he wanted to hug him, he wanted to stop fucking shaking and just have him in his arms. He wanted to just go Arthur, go to the person who carefully carried your heart in his hands refusing to ever let go of it .

And as heart dropped when he figured out he was in too much shock to even move a muscle, he felt the warmth he missed covering his entire body when Emrys threw himself at him wrapping his arms around his neck. He didn’t even notice his shirt starting to get wet from his tears, he didn’t feel Merlin accidentally stepping onto his foot. Because Merlin was in front of him in flesh and blood. He was hugging him, he was holding him, he was talking to him and looking at him with those beautiful eyes, filled with love and longing.

“You never stopped looking.” he cried happily tugging on Arthur’s shirt as if he didn’t believe he was actually there with him.

And to be completely honest, Pendragon didn’t fully register it either.

“Your watch.” Was the only thing he managed to say without his voice breaking painfully from the crying. “I promised myself that the day your watch will stop, I will stop looking for you. Now I can finally do that.”

He’s here. He was actually here.

“I hope I didn’t waste too much of your time.” Merlin chuckled. He chuckled. He could hear him laugh again, he could hear his voice again.

He found him.

“You were never a waste of my time, annwyl.”

He finally didn’t have to imagine sky-high above in Caribbean blue.