Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

For a ship containing technological miracles—seriously, Lloyd still didn’t understand how the thing could fly ; it should have been impossible—the level of insulation was severely lacking. And maybe the constant chill flooding his closet-of-a-room had something to do with him leaving his window open permanently, but Lloyd refused to accept that explanation. It was all the ship’s fault.

He also refused to close said window. On his first night here, only a couple days ago, he had been so exhausted, between the lack of sleep and a full belly—a rare occurrence for him—that he had passed out the moment his Uncle had left the room, leaving the window shut firmly, blocking out the frigid wind as they flew. He had awoken late the next morning to a stifling heat within the room, the air stale and so unlike the fresh breeze he had grown used to on his travels. It reminded him of the bland air back at Darkley’s, filled with heated stares and whispered comments, just loud enough for him to hear—on purpose, no doubt. It had taken him a moment to remember that he wasn’t back at the school where everyone hated him, where he was bullied mercilessly for not being evil enough.

Where his mother had dumped him before she upped and vanished from his life forever. Where he was all alone.

A flutter of panic had filled him, snatching the breath from his lungs, his throat tightening. And then he had felt the rocking of the ship as it flew, heard the Ninja’s banter through his closed door, and his heart had settled, if only slightly. 

He had kept his window open since then, letting in the fresh air and banishing the memories he tried so hard to forget. 

As if his thoughts had summoned it, a frigid breeze swept into his room, icy claws digging into his flesh and tearing a shudder from him. With a groan, Lloyd rolled over and pulled the thin blanket the Ninja had supplied him with tighter around himself, desperately trying to drift back off. Sleep was already so fleeting for him—did the world have to pull him away from it so soon?

He squeezed bleary eyes shut when the air suddenly dropped a few more degrees, groaning weakly. The world did have it out for him, then. 

Peeling open his eyes, he searched for his hoodie, perking up when he saw it hanging on the doorknob. His Uncle had pried it from him the morning before to wash it the moment Lloyd had stepped into the room. Lloyd had tried to convince him that the mud splattered on its side was nothing—and really, compared to his months traversing Ninjago, it was nothing—but his Uncle wouldn’t hear it, and so he had been left without its defences for the night, protected only by the thin long-sleeve he wore permanently underneath.

He threw the blanket back, not feeling the loss of warmth when it had been so minimal, but he did feel the frozen floorboards under his socked feet, felt how they sent waves of ice-coldness into him, pricking like needles. 

“Stupid ship,” he grumbled to himself, snatching up his hoodie and pulling it on, sighing in content when its familiar weight settled over him, comforting like a suit of armour to a knight. It was his only line of defence against the outside world that hated him so—and, it had been a gift from his dad for his eighth birthday a few months ago, and so he cherished it dearly. The fabric was softer than usual and smelled faintly of lavender, and he wondered if his Uncle had used something special while he washed it, just for Lloyd. He wondered if his Uncle had noticed the darkness etched beneath his eyes and had chosen lavender in hopes of helping him sleep.

His chest swelled with warmth at the thought, and he pulled the hood over his head, inhaling the soft scent appreciatively. But he wouldn’t tell his Uncle he appreciated it—no evil son of Lord Garmadon would do such a thing, and he was as evil as they came!

A breeze drifted in through his window, forcing him to wrap his arms around himself, and he was reminded as to why he felt so miserable and tired in the first place: this stupid ship’s stupid lack of insulation. Seriously, he had squatted in caves warmer than this, especially when he—

Lloyd gasped, an idea coming to mind. Whenever he was cold during his time out and about in Ninjago, he would gather some kindling and light a fire with his trusty rocks—a skill he had learned quickly one frigid night where his life depended on aforementioned skill. The rocks had been with him for months, and they now rested in the corner of the room, beneath the edge of the padded training mat he had claimed as a bed. 

He scurried over, dropping to his knees and peeling back the corner of the mat. He held the two rocks reverently for a moment, felt the weight of old friends he wouldn’t have survived without in his palms, then turned in search of something to light. An ancient broom leaned against the wall near the window, its wood dry and cracked. Perfect. 

In the corner opposite his bed, a bucket full of bamboo sat, ready to be discarded when the Ninja remembered to do so. It was a weathered yellow, dry and cracked. 

Perfect again. Maybe the world didn’t hate him entirely. 

He gathered the broom and bamboo, snapping the broomstick into smaller pieces, sticking a finger in his mouth with a wince when the ancient wood cut him. Within minutes, he had a tent fire built expertly in the centre of his room. Kindling would help, but… he wouldn’t be able to find any here. 

Instead, he tore off a corner of his blanket and looped it around a chunk of broom, shooting a quick prayer to the gods for it to take properly. 

Next, he sat back on his knees, pulling his rocks from his hoodie pocket. He paused then, wondering if he really needed the fire now; all the movement and excitement had warmed him up a little, and he no longer shivered, nor did his bones ache with the cold—but then another breeze wafted in, bringing with it the equivalent of icy hands crawling up his spine, and Lloyd knew he had to do it, if only to stop being so miserable here. It had only been two days, and he hadn’t had a second of peace! Maybe he could keep it small, and use any spare wood overnight when it inevitably grew colder again. 

With a nod to himself, he removed some of the bamboo sticks, setting them to the side for next time. He would need to hunt down more scraps of wood, but that could come later, when his skin was free of gooseflesh and his bones weren’t so stiff with cold. 

Was this what his Uncle felt like all the time? It was awful.

Kneeling before his skeleton of a fire again, he held the two rocks firmly in both hands. The cloth-wrapped broom piece lay before him, waiting to be lit. With confidence only months of experience could grant, he struck the two rocks together, their sparks skittering over the cloth, as he had commanded them to. 

The cloth sizzled and smoked, but didn’t take. That was fine. It wasn’t often his kindling took flame on the first strike anyway, Lloyd thought with a shrug. 

He struck them together again, and this time, the cloth sizzled and smoked—then caught fire. A small pinprick of a thing at first, no bigger than a firefly, but steadily growing with every passing second. Lloyd was quick to pick it up and cover it with his body, protecting it from the harsh winds still crawling into his room.

The flame grew, slowly but surely, and then all at once, encompassing the piece of old wood in its fiery embrace. With a grin, Lloyd pushed it into the centre of the wood, through a gap he had prepared. It didn’t take long for the flames to latch onto the dry, cracked wood, and soon he had a little fire before him, pushing warm air into the frigid room. Smoke curled from the flames, up and up, until it was dragged out of the window by the ever-present breeze eddying through Lloyd’s room. 

But the breeze didn’t matter anymore. Not to Lloyd. Not when the warmth pulsing from the fire settled over him like a blanket, soothing the shivers wracking his thin frame, warming palms that had been frigid for days. With a sigh of relief, Lloyd leaned back on his now-warm hands, eyes slipping shut contentedly as heat washed over him. Gods, this was much better. Why hadn’t he thought to do this sooner? He would need to collect as much wood as possible if he was to keep his room warm during his stay with Uncle and the Ninja—he doubted they would be letting him go anytime soon, and… as much as he hated to admit it, it was nice to be around other people for once. Maybe, if he kept his room warm, he would even be able to snag more sleep! 

Gods, he had forgotten what a full night of rest felt like. 

Excitement thrumming through his veins, golden and warm and fuzzy, Lloyd leaned back over the fire, holding his hands out again as the floorboards sent their chill needling through his palms. His eyes slipped shut with content for the first time in days, and he wondered if he could drift back to sleep, now that he was warm.

As if the world had realised he was too comfortable, the door was abruptly slammed open with a loud bang , tearing Lloyd out of the fuzzy warmth clinging to his mind and making him drowsy. He jumped a foot in the air, his palm meeting the flickering flames for a split second—long enough to sear it and pull a pained hiss from his lips.

“What are you doing ?” Ah. It was Kai. What did the moron want from him now? And did he have to be so loud? The words grated on his ears like nails on a chalk board.

“What do you—” His words were cut off when Kai shoved him out of the way, knocking him onto his side. “Hey!” 

Kai ignored him in favour of snatching up his blanket and using it to stamp out his fire. Each stomp of his boot against the floor made Lloyd flinch, and he edged away when Kai turned furious eyes to him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, you brat?” Kai seethed. 

Lloyd blinked, glancing between Kai, and the scattered remains of the fire he had worked so hard to prepare. His eyes narrowed as irritation tore through him like a wildfire, his nose scrunching up in a way he hoped was intimidating. “How dare—” 

Kai cut him off with a growl. “Are you trying to set the Bounty on fire?” His eyes widened. “Is this some scheme of yours? We foiled your ‘big bad plan’”—he held his hands up, making mocking air quotations, as if he didn’t believe Lloyd’s plans had been evil —“so now you’re trying to destroy our home?” 

Lloyd blew a raspberry at him. “Go away!” First Kai had ruined his only source of warmth, and now he was accusing him of something he hadn’t even been trying to do! He hated it here. 

Kai bared his teeth at him, and Lloyd smirked in response. Even if burning the Bounty down hadn’t been his goal, he would let Kai believe it. Doing so would help build up his evil reputation, after all. Plus, lying was bad , so it was a double win, with an extra side of evil . 

“That’s it,” Kai said, storming over to him, kicking aside the smouldering remains of Lloyd’s fire. In the blink of an eye, Kai latched onto his wrist, hauling him up and out of the room. Lloyd gasped, for three different reasons:

One, he had forgotten that the Ninja were ninja—they were quick, and could take him out if they wished to do so;

Two, Kai’s hand over his wrist was so warm , as if the Master of Fire had molten lava flowing through his veins, rather than blood;

And three, the scratches on his wrist—last night had been hard—flared up at the aggravation, leaving him trying to tug his arm away to no avail.

Kai paid no attention to his reaction. He said nothing at all, but his hand tightened over Lloyd’s wrist, making him wince, even as warmth flowed into him—it reminded him of the times the other boys would grab him and throw him at something, usually a locker or a desk. 

It would bruise the same way, he was certain of that. 

Kai pulled him into the thankfully empty kitchen, retaining his hold on Lloyd’s wrist while he grabbed a chair, dragging it over to the corner. Kai shoved Lloyd into the chair, finally releasing him—Lloyd rubbed at his wrist with a wince, eyeing off the chair with confusion. 

“I’ve had enough of your”—Kai gestured vaguely at Lloyd—“whole evil thing. You’re in time-out, buddy.” He said the final word wryly, as if Uncle had forced him to use it rather than a few choice words he would have preferred. 

Lloyd blinked. “Time… out?”

“Yep,” Kai said, popping the ‘p’. “You can stay there and think about what you did until you apologise.” 

Ah. Kai had mistaken his confusion for disbelief. 

“What the hell is time-out?” Lloyd snapped, attempting to push himself off of the chair. Kai grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him back in place. “Let me go! If you don’t let me out right now, my dad will—” 

Kai scoffed, rolling his eyes as if he thought Lloyd was being difficult. “What?” he began, ignoring Lloyd’s demands that he let him go, that he had done nothing wrong, “Your Ma never put you in time-out? I find that hard to believe.” 

Lloyd’s mouth snapped shut, his throat suddenly dry. He looked away from Kai, turning his gaze to the side and crossing his arms. Of course she had never put him in ‘time-out.’ She had dumped him at Darkley’s before he could walk. 

Kai huffed, and when Lloyd cast him a fleeting glance, he saw the ninja was smirking. “Guess that got you to shut up, huh? About time.” He shook his head, moving away to clear dishes from breakfast and missing Lloyd’s piercing glare. Lloyd’s stomach grumbled at the thought of food, but he refused to pay it any attention. The Ninja already hated him enough; they wouldn’t want him taking their food, and he had survived longer without it anyway. 

If they wanted to share, they would have told him. 

“No wonder you’re so bratty,” Kai grumbled as he set about washing the dishes. “She must have spoiled you to no end, right? Bet she’d be disappointed now.” 

Lloyd grit his teeth, blinking back the tears pricking at his eyes. Let them believe whatever they wanted; he wouldn’t be here much longer, anyway. Not if he had a say in it.

Kai hummed. “Nothing else to say, huh? Good. Think about what you’ve done.” 

Lloyd’s cheeks burned, and he was glad Kai wasn’t looking his way, focused on the dishes. He crossed his arms tighter, lowering his gaze to glare at the floor.

When Kai finished up and turned around expectantly, Lloyd mumbled a quick, “sorry,” and scurried back to his room. He kicked the pile of burnt wood to the side and crawled back into his bed, huddling beneath his burned blanket and ignoring the way his palm flared with pain.

He didn’t leave his room again that day.

Chapter Text

Lloyd swung his legs back and forth, kicking the kitchen counter with every swing forward. The thunk of his boots against the wood filled the room, accompanying the softer sounds of Zane swiftly dicing up meat, and the tapping of his knife against the wooden board. His Uncle had ordered him to spend some time with the ninja, once he caught wind of Lloyd hiding in his room all day yesterday. 

It wasn’t his fault Kai was such a prick! 

Uncle had guided him into the room with a hand firmly on his shoulder. Once he had pushed Lloyd inside, he offered one of his menacingly sweet smiles and told him to stay put and be nice , before he slid the door shut and abandoned Lloyd here. Escape would be futile, if his Uncle’s smile told him anything, and so Lloyd had offered a curious Zane a barely-there nod of acknowledgement and clambered onto one of the stools, leaning over the counter to watch the ninja sleepily. 

Zane hadn’t said anything yet, but he had offered him a warm smile—warmer than any of the other ninja had, though Kai’s sneers could hardly be counted as smiles . Zane’s quiet disposition, plus the warmth of the kitchen, meant Lloyd could at least tolerate this forced afternoon together. Even if the smell of food was starting to make him a little nauseous.

Gods forbid he end up stuck with any of the others. Jay would make fun of him, and Cole would likely do the same, all the while shooting him those looks full of distrust. Kai…

Just thinking of Kai made his stomach twist, so he shoved the thought down altogether. 

Nya would probably patronise him—though he hadn’t interacted with her yet, she just gave off that kind of vibe. He did not need to be patronised, thank you very much. 

“If you are staying here,” Zane began, startling Lloyd out of his thoughts—no, he did not yelp . Of course not. Sons of evil overlords did no such thing! “You might as well help out.” 

Lloyd shook his head, scrunching up his nose. “No.” 

Zane turned around, pointing to him with the knife. Lloyd flinched—Zane wouldn’t threaten him, would he? “You do not appear to be sleeping,” Zane noted, and oh, he had simply been using the tool to gesture. “So, there is no reason why you cannot help.” His lips quirked. 

Lloyd leaned back in the stool and crossed his arms. “Don’t wanna.” 

Zane’s grin widened, as if he had anticipated the answer. “It will be fun,” he promised. “More fun than sitting there. And,” he added, piquing Lloyd’s interest, “I will give you one of my homemade chocolate cookies if you help.”

Lloyd straightened, excitement filling his empty belly. He had caught the decadent aroma wafting in beneath his door the day before. How could he miss it when it had smelled so divine , when it had poured into his room, filling every corner of the space and leaving him clutching his stomach as hunger reared its ugly head? 

But to actually eat one of those gifts from the gods? Lloyd refused to leave this room until he got his hands on one. 

Zane was still watching him, something akin to mirth sparkling in his eyes, and Lloyd was quick to meld his face back into a pout. “Fine,” he said with a sigh, as if he were reluctant, but he was letting Zane win this one time, and not as if he wanted one of those cookies more than life itself. 

He hopped off of the stool while Zane set up a little station for Lloyd to work at alongside his own, complete with his own paring knife and wooden board. Was the ninja really trusting him with a knife ? 

He was more of a fool than Lloyd had taken him for. 

But when he picked up the knife, turning to Zane, who had his back to him, leaning into the fridge, Lloyd’s stomach churned at the thought of using it and his hand began to shake—more than it already was. He swallowed thickly and turned back to the wooden board. It just… wasn’t the right time. That was all. 

He could almost hear the other students at Darkley’s laughing at him for his cowardice. His father would be so disappointed in him.

“Here we are!” Zane announced, presenting a bundle of green onions to Lloyd. “Can you cut these into pieces? Here, I will show you first.” 

Lloyd watched with interest as Zane separated the white ends from the onions. Cooking had always been something he had wanted to learn—he had even tried to sneak into the kitchens at Darkley’s to see how the cooks worked. Instead, they had caught him and proceeded to skimp on his meals for the rest of his time there. Between that, and the other kids knocking him over and spilling his lunch, Lloyd had been more than prepared for a few meal-less days when they had kicked him out of the school entirely. In fact, the soup his Uncle had given him was probably his first proper meal in months . 

But Zane was showing him now! And all Lloyd had to do in return was copy him, which would in turn help him learn some skills. Really, this was a win-win situation for Lloyd, with a bonus cookie. 

Truly evil of him. 

Zane showed him which parts he needed to remove from the top, too—the nasty, wilted bits—and then he began to cut them vertically, each piece about an inch long. 

Lloyd could do that, no sweat. 

When the green onions were passed on to him, however, he realised that maybe his confidence was a little misplaced; his shaking hands left his pieces inconsistently sized, and he never placed enough pressure into the cuts, so the onion tore a little when he tried to push the not-quite-cut pieces away, leaving imperfect strings behind. 

He narrowed his eyes, picking up a second green onion, determined to do better so Zane wouldn’t kick him out of the kitchen. The whites came away better this time, as did the wilted ends. 

As he lowered his knife to begin cutting the middle into perfect pieces, black spots began to crowd his vision, small at first, creeping in at the edges, and then flooding in all at once, sending his vision dark. Lloyd blinked rapidly to clear them, then tried shaking his head—

Big mistake. Dizziness crashed into him and the room began to spin like it did when he was on the receiving end of one of the Ninja’s Spinjitsu attacks. He started to stumble back, raising a hand to his head as a sudden headache pierced his skull, but his legs turned against him, giving out and sending him tumbling to the floor.

Or, they would have, if two strong arms hadn’t caught him under the armpits before he could slam his head against the counter. Or the wooden floor. Or whatever else was around them. 

“Lloyd!” The word was muffled, as if someone had stuffed cotton into his ears. He groaned in response, and Zane seemed to deem it as acceptable, for he said no more. Instead, he hauled Lloyd away from the floor, picking him up and setting him on the counter, one hand remaining on his shoulder to keep him upright as he worked through the waves of dizziness. Distantly, Lloyd noted Zane prying the knife from his white-knuckled hand and setting it to the side. 

“Are you alright?” Zane asked once Lloyd pulled away from his hand, no longer needing the support. His breathing settled some as the tension from whatever that was left his body. 

Lloyd hummed softly, not trusting his voice to be steady. What had that been? Was he coming down with something? 

But he never got sick.

Zane made a thoughtful noise. “You seem to be incredibly light for someone so young,” he noted, though he also placed a hand to Lloyd’s forehead, a quick shake of his head dismissing Lloyd’s idea that he was ill.

“’M 8,” Lloyd grumbled, cracking open an eye to glare at Zane. He’d better not be about to patronise him. 

“8,” Zane murmured, brow furrowing. “You should weigh around 23 kilograms, with your height. But you seem to weigh approximately 15.” Lloyd blinked. Where was the ninja pulling these numbers from? He had lifted him for all of two seconds!

“You are underweight,” Zane said, and thank you, captain obvious . 

Lloyd hummed again. His head wasn’t buzzing any longer, so they could go back to cutting up the green onions, right? He wanted that cookie soon . It would help, he was certain of it.

“When did you last eat?” Zane asked, watching him carefully. 

Lloyd frowned, lowering his gaze in thought. When had he last eaten? Uncle had brought him that soup on his first night here, and that had been… three days ago? 

“Three days?” Zane gasped, eyes wide, and shoot , had he said that aloud? Oops. He would have laughed at the gobsmacked look on Zane’s face if he hadn’t been so busy cursing himself and his stupid mouth. 

He had expected Zane to… well, he wasn’t sure what he expected Zane to do. Tell him off for being a nuisance, maybe? Call him an idiot, perhaps? Maybe even shout for his Uncle, so his family could deal with it. Instead, the ninja turned away from him, face indifferent, uncaring.

Lloyd refused to acknowledge the hurt blooming in his chest at the realisation that Zane simply didn’t care . Of course, he wouldn’t; they were enemies! He focused his attention on staying upright, wincing when his burnt hand met the rough wood of the counter. 

Zane opened the fridge, pulling out ingredients Lloyd couldn’t see with his body covering them. Had he decided to ignore Lloyd while he continued cooking on his own? Had he decided Lloyd would be in the way if he enlisted in his help again?

Was he being put in time-out for no reason again?

Gods, he hated how his eyes burned at the thought. Zane had seemed genuine in his desire to educate Lloyd in his cooking prep this evening, and Lloyd had gone and blown it by opening his mouth when he should know better than to do so. 

“Here.” He jumped, torn out of his thoughts when Zane spoke. His head whipped up, nearly taking out the plate Zane was holding out for him. 

A plate… with a sandwich on it? 

Lloyd tilted his head in confusion. “What?” 

“You are hungry,” Zane said, and again , captain obvious? “Eat this.” He pushed the plate into Lloyd’s hands, then turned back to his preparations, leaving no room for Lloyd to refuse.

And why would he refuse, when Zane had given the food to him? He couldn’t get in trouble for touching food Zane had demanded he eat, right? 

His head began to buzz again, dizziness threatening to incapacitate him, and he decided even if he was shouted at for this, he needed to eat something soon. 

Lloyd was slow to take his first bite, but the moment the bread touched his tongue, the ravenous hunger he had shoved down roared to life again. The sandwich didn’t last a minute beneath its wrath, and soon, he was licking sauce from his fingers, his stomach full for the first time in days. He sat back, relishing in the moment; it wasn’t often he felt this way. 

As if sensing he was finished, Zane paused his prep to take the plate from his hands, setting it into the sink to wash later. He turned back to Lloyd, watching him expectantly, rather than continuing with his prep. 

Lloyd shifted under his gaze. Did he… want something? “What?” He didn’t expect the evil son of Lord Garmadon to say thank you, did he? What kind of fool would expect that?

“Why have you not been eating?”  

Wasn’t that obvious? “It’s not my food to take.” And I don’t want to be shouted at again , he didn’t add. Evil overlords weren’t scared of being shouted at, after all. 

His explanation didn’t satisfy Zane. If anything, it made him upset; Zane’s face fell, and if Lloyd didn’t know any better, he would say he looked heartbroken. 

But this was concerning him , Lloyd Garmadon, and he did know better than to assume anyone but his father cared about him. And maybe his Uncle, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“Lloyd, you are allowed to take food when you are hungry.” 

Lloyd scoffed disbelievingly. So they could have another reason to kick him out and leave him for the Serpentine? Fat chance. 

Zane pursed his lips, pushing off of the counter and making his way to Lloyd’s side. He made to place a hand over Lloyd’s shoulder again, but paused when Lloyd leaned away, uncomfortable with contact from one of his enemies now that he was feeling more like himself . “Lloyd, you are not our prisoner.” Lloyd nearly scoffed. Between the glares he received, the ratty, threadbare blanket, and the near-constant supervision from the Ninja when he wasn’t in his room, that was hard to believe. 

Zane sighed, as if reading his mind. Could the guy do that? Lloyd wouldn’t put it past him; he always seemed to know more than he should. “You are not our prisoner,” he emphasised. “You are our guest, and our Sensei’s nephew. You are allowed to take what you need, especially bare necessities such as food. You are allowed to eat here.” 

Lloyd grit his teeth, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable before Zane. He had to be reading Lloyd’s mind. There was no way he could put together an almost perfect explanation for why Lloyd had been reluctant to take food from them otherwise. 

“I want you to promise me you will eat at least two meals a day from now on, Lloyd. Three might be too much to start, but you need to eat.” Lloyd’s eyes went wide. Two meals a day? Two . He was used to one every other day. 

Zane’s face fell again, and gods , was Lloyd that easy to read? “I will be monitoring your progress,” he added, as if worried Lloyd would refuse food he had been offered . Well, there was one reason he might avoid it…

“You do not have to join us for meals,” Zane said, and yep, he was reading Lloyd’s mind. “If you wish, you can come to the kitchen when I am preparing food and I will set some aside for you, if that is more comfortable.” Lloyd nodded slowly. If Zane was that desperate for him to eat, then he would do as he was told this one time. 

Besides, it would be nice to get rid of the constant hunger pangs tearing apart his insides. 

“Good!” Zane clapped his hands together. “Now here.” He ducked back into the fridge for a moment, procuring a juice box, which he then handed over to Lloyd. “This will help you feel better, and it should start to replace some of the vitamins you are no doubt deficient in.” Lloyd blinked, tilting his head in confusion, and Zane smiled ruefully. “I will explain another time. For now, drink that, and if you feel up to it, you can continue helping me once you are done ,” he emphasised the final part, ensuring Lloyd understood he was to sit there until he finished his juice. 

Lloyd nodded, tearing open the juice, eager to finish it so he could go back to learning. Who knew when he would get another opportunity like this, and he refused to waste this one.

Zane beamed at him once he was done, and even showed him how to dice up the chicken into neat cubes and work the rice cooker—he said they could do the sauce together next time. Next time , which meant Zane wanted to show him more. Zane wanted to spend time with Lloyd, and wanted to teach him new skills. 

Lloyd left the kitchen a few hours later, grinning ear to ear, a bowl of delicious chicken curry and rice, garnished with the green onions he had cut, in one hand and his promised cookie in the other, his chest lighter than it had felt in months.

Chapter Text

The control room was warmer than the rest of the bounty. Where his room was frigidity and shadows creeping in, the control room was warm and perpetually lit by the glow of the numerous consoles throughout the space. Some were turned off for the night or put into sleep mode, but the main computer that took up the entire wall right of the ship’s steering wheel remained on at all times—something about potential catastrophes arising should it be turned off. Even he wasn’t stupid enough to touch it. 

The best part, though, was that it wasn’t stuffy like his own room always was. The entry had no door, but the machinery kept the room warm despite the air flowing in and out.

His favourite part of the control room, however, was the little nook tucked away just behind the case of the main computer. A canopy of red and blue and yellow wires twisted above it like a safety net, and the tender warmth flowing from the computer was locked into the tiny area. 

The best part was that only Lloyd could fit into the area. That, and none of the other occupants of the Bounty knew of his little hiding place. 

Lloyd sat curled up in it now, the wires twisting every which way above his head. His side pressed against the case of the main computer, heat seeping into his bones and easing the chills constantly wracking his frame—though they had ebbed some since Zane had begun making him eat more. 

Outside, through the window stretching out along the wall behind the steering wheel, the stars twinkled cheerfully, and the moon had begun its descent, full and bright as if to mock him. 

“You should be asleep,” it said. “Everyone knows that when I’m out, you’re meant to be resting. But look at you .” 

Lloyd huffed, opening his mouth to retort that he’d sleep when he wanted to, thank you very much, when he realised that talking to the moon, responding to an imaginary conversation with the moon, was a sure sign he was losing it. With a groan, he ran a hand down his face, wondering if he could pry the bags beneath his eyes away if he tried hard enough. When had he last had a full night’s rest, anyway?

In the darkness, he furrowed his brows, but was unable to come up with an answer. He could hardly think like this, and it was too long ago for him to recall. 

If only he could sleep .

A sharp, stabbing pain in his head reminded him as to why he couldn’t sleep tonight, and he let out a whine, raising his hands to rub at the tender patches—two separate spots, both behind his temples, beneath his hair. They had been aching all day , followed by the occasional stabbing pain, as if someone had cracked him over the head twice. 

His tailbone flared up then too, and he hissed, leaning farther over his knees to relieve pressure on it. How that was hurting, he had no idea. He hadn’t fallen on his rear recently—had he? With how poor his memory was as of late, he wouldn’t be surprised if he had forgotten. Gods, he needed to sleep.

But how could he? First, the aches and pains wracked his body constantly, to the point that they tore him away from blissful sleep no matter how hard he tried, his eyes snapping open in alarm when a particularly jarring stab flared to life in his skull. Second…

Second, Kai’s words swirled around his mind like a toxic cloud, poisoning his thoughts and rotting his brain. That first time Kai had put him in time-out hadn’t been the last; it seemed the guy had gotten a taste for it, and he had been using it as his favourite form of punishment whenever Lloyd tried to prank someone—or, when he did harmless things. 

So what if he accidentally deleted all of Kai’s save files in Ninja Vs. Dragons? It hadn’t been intentional, but Kai hadn’t wanted to hear about how it was his first time playing a game, and he was still learning the buttons. If only the kids at Darkley’s had let him join in on their gaming sessions…

But it wasn’t the embarrassment surrounding the whole time-out thing that kept him awake, his mind swarming with rotted thoughts, no. It was that Kai had picked up on the way Lloyd’s mouth snapped shut whenever his mother was mentioned, and he had begun using it against him constantly to keep him in line. 

And that hurt. It hurt more than he could express, to hear about how his mother would view him. Because Kai was probably right.

I bet she’d be disappointed in you now.

Your mother would be disgusted with your behaviour!

She’s probably not even upset you’re gone, if you were like this at home.

That one had hurt the most. Kai had spat it earlier today, when Lloyd had stuck a bucket of water over the kitchen door, waiting with anticipation for his victim. He had hoped a good laugh would help distract him from the pain in his head and lower back, but then Kai had said that , and it had all come crashing down on him again. 

Okay, maybe he hadn’t said it exactly like that, but it felt like he had.

Lloyd sniffled, curling up tighter. Now, his wrists hurt, and it was all Kai’s fault for making him feel so bad, he had had to scratch himself to make the hurt go away. Stupid Kai. If only his stupid mother had dropped him off anywhere else; maybe then, he wouldn’t be here. He could be at the orphanage, with all the other unwanted children. 

No one would want the son of Garmadon, after all. The Ninja clearly didn’t want him—except maybe Zane. His mother hadn’t even wanted him.

He sniffled again, swiping at his cheeks when a few traitorous tears spilled. Gods, he was so tired . And his head hurt. And his back, and his wrists, and—

Footsteps jarred him out of his thoughts and he stiffened, head snapping to face the entryway. Oh, Gods, what if it was Kai? What if he had instinctively known Lloyd wasn’t in bed and had come to hunt him down, prepared to torment him with more cruel remarks about his mother? 

He held his breath, heart pounding in his ears, as someone appeared in the entryway, the lights of the hallway casting a shadow over their front. They moved closer to the computer, and Lloyd realised with a sigh of relief that it wasn’t Kai, but Nya. 

Big mistake. She heard the soft sound and froze, eyes alert. “Who’s there?” she demanded, taking a kunai from her pyjama pocket. Lloyd let out a frightened eep , shuffling back, tucking himself farther into his nook. Her brother was awful—what if she was even worse?

Nya paused, her brows furrowing in the low light of the monitor. She slipped the weapon away and knelt by the computer, peeking into his hiding place. 

“Oh,” she breathed, a small smile quirking her lips. “It’s just you, Lloyd.” She sat down cross-legged by the case of the computer, unable to come any closer—she was too big to fit. “What are you doing up so late?” 

She couldn’t see his face, then. Good. He knew he had to look a wreck, with tears staining his cheeks, and his expression twisted with pain. His voice didn’t have to give him away, though.

Averting his gaze, he said, “Couldn’t sleep.” 

Nya hummed, pursing her lips when he gave no more information. “Nightmares?” 

Lloyd shook his head instinctively. How could he have nightmares when he couldn’t even fall asleep? “No.” 

When he offered no more, Nya sighed. “I couldn’t sleep either,” she admitted with a rueful smile. “You know what I find helps when I can’t sleep?” 

Now she had his attention. Gods, he would give anything to be able to sleep, even if it was just for one night. “What?” he asked, a little too eagerly. 

“Some tea. Stay here and I’ll go grab us some, okay?” Tea? He hadn’t had tea since… 

He couldn’t remember. Maybe one time at Darkley’s…? Yeah! But then someone had tripped him, and he had burned his chest so badly even the nurse had taken pity on him for once and given him some aloe balm. He hadn’t had tea since then; it hadn’t been worth the risk. He’d stick to lukewarm porridge and juice staining his shirt, thank you very much.

“Okay,” he murmured. Nya seemed genuine; there was no malicious glint in her eye. And, he was desperate enough to risk the burns if it meant potentially sleeping. Besides, it wouldn’t be the first burn he had acquired on the Bounty.

Nya stood and brushed off her pants and, with a quick wave, disappeared back into the hallway. A sigh escaped Lloyd, and he scrubbed at his cheeks and eyes, ridding them of the few tears that had spilled. Nya could not know he had been crying. None of them would ever see him cry, if he had a say in it.

He scooted out of his hiding place as he waited, figuring if Nya was—supposedly—being so kind as to try and help him, he should at least be a little less reserved; hiding away in his little corner might give off the wrong impression, and he wanted help with this. He had tried everything he could think of and still fallen short. 

If Nya had the solution to the problem that had ailed him for months now, she might just take over Zane as his favourite on the Bounty. 

Footsteps alerted him to Nya’s return. He straightened, rubbed at his eyes again as discreetly as possible, as if someone might still be watching him, then waited for her to appear in the lit hallway for the second time that night, though this time eagerness had replaced his apprehension. This time, she might hold the secret to helping him sleep!

Nya appeared in the doorway, a steaming mug in each hand. She paused when she saw him sitting outside of his little cubby, then smiled, her eyes crinkling with warmth. Her footsteps were soft as she made her way over to him, almost non-existent, similar to the way the Ninja walked. Had Uncle taken to training her, too?

He wasn’t jealous, of course. Never! That hot, murky sensation curling in his chest was not jealousy. 

Nya passed down one of the mugs and Lloyd took it reverently, a potential saviour in the darkness that had been ailing him for so long. She set her own tea down beside him, but rather than join him, she straightened again, much to his confusion.

“I just need to do a quick check-up on the ship’s systems. It’s… why I came here in the first place,” she said with a half-hearted chuckle. Lloyd nodded mutely, watching her make her way around the room expertly, her knowledge of the ship’s inner-workings intimate. He wondered what that would be like, to understand the vessel on such a deep level one could stride with confidence, could act without second-guessing themself. 

The tea was warm around his palms—too warm. With a wince, he set it down, pulled his sleeves over his hands to act as a barrier, then picked it up again. Perfect. 

He raised the steaming mug to his face, warily sniffing, searching for any sign she had tampered with the drink. At Darkley’s, they had been trained to recognise the scents of many poisons, and Lloyd had always been the best—it hadn’t even been a challenge. 

A hint of apple, and very floral. He took another inhale, but couldn’t detect anything hidden beneath the scents. He had never missed a poison before; his nose was too good. 

Tentatively, he took a sip—then winced. Too hot. The flavour that burst across his tongue was different. New. It wasn’t unpleasant, though he had a feeling it was what Uncle would call an acquired taste. But, if it helped him sleep…

He blew on the tea, then took another sip, humming pleasantly as warmth spilled into his chest. With a gasp, he cut the sound off as soon as he made it, eyes snapping up to Nya—but she was focussed on tapping away at the big computer. Lloyd sighed in relief. Humming at Darkley’s had earned him multiple black-eyes and months of scorn. Evil geniuses didn’t hum happily; they laughed menacingly! 

Nya settled down by his side a few minutes later while he was waiting for his tea to cool some, apparently satisfied with whatever work she had done. She snatched up her own drink and took a hearty sip, smacking her lips appreciatively—Lloyd cringed at the thought of what doing that at Darkley’s might have earned him. Detention for sure, but with the other kids? He shuddered and took a sip of his tea, letting its warmth wash away the sudden chills crawling up his spine. 

“How’s the tea?” Nya asked, and had her voice not been so soft, Lloyd might have jumped and spilled said tea all over his only pair of pants. As it was, he flinched, stomach twisting with nerves as he watched the tea slosh around threateningly in his mug. It stayed in the ceramic, thank the Gods.

Lloyd hesitated before he let out his usual scoff or huff of dismissal. Nya had been kind enough to make this for him, and something within him—something Darkley’s hadn’t managed to snuff out—urged him to return the gesture. Or, at least, not be rude. “It’s… nice,” he admitted, ducking his head before she could see the blush blooming to life on his cheeks. 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Nya said, and when he risked a glance at her, he saw she was smiling. “It’s chamomile, Ninjago’s classic tea for  insomnia ,” she added, chuckling at her own words, though the joke went over Lloyd’s head. What was so funny about being unable to sleep? 

Lloyd hummed in response, uncertain as to what to say. Normally, he would be barking back snide remarks, or snapping, or laughing his Evil Laugh. But this was different, he was walking headfirst into unknown territory, and he didn’t even have a dang map to help guide him. He hadn’t had nearly enough sleep to process this.

Nya didn’t seem to mind his silence. “I often find I can’t sleep,” she said, staring down into her tea, her brow furrowed. Lloyd had a sudden desire to lean over and smooth her brow out so she wouldn’t be so upset—then he blinked, chastising himself and looking down to stifle the urge. This was what the other kids meant when they called him soft . “I just get so anxious about the ship failing while I’m not here, so I come to check the systems most nights. It’s… the one thing I can do to help the Ninja’s cause, and I can’t fail.” 

Now Lloyd’s brow was furrowing, his lips pushing forward into a pout. How could she think that was all she was good for? She was so much better than those awful Ninja! 

He opened his mouth to impulsively tell her as such when she cut him off—and thank the Gods she had; what had he been thinking?

“Ah, sorry! I shouldn’t dump all this on you.” Nya blushed, her cheeks darkening in the low light with shame. His exhaustion must have really begun taking its toll, for Lloyd was shaking his head before his mind caught up to his body.

“No! You’re not—you’re more—” What was he doing? An evil mastermind didn’t comfort . He cleared his throat, then said, “Thanks for the tea.” There. Now that stupid un-snuffed part of his brain could leave him alone. 

Nya stared at him for a long moment, then that smile was back, something shimmering in her eyes. “You’re welcome, Lloyd. And thanks,” she said with a knowing glint to her eye that made him want to hide away and never be seen again. His teachers would be disgusted with him.

His father would be disappointed in him. 

The thought had his heart sinking to his feet and he shifted uncomfortably in an attempt to dislodge it. He hadn’t gotten any new letters from his father in a while… What if he knew Lloyd was with his Uncle Wu now, and thought he had turned good? What if he wanted nothing more to do with him? 

Or… maybe the postman couldn’t make it to the Bounty. Maybe he hadn’t been able to find Lloyd on his travels, as of late, even if the postman had had no issue before. Lloyd hoped so.

“Don’t let your tea go cold,” Nya commented, snapping him out of his thoughts. He offered her a meek smile and took a hearty sip, his eyelids beginning to feel heavy. The air was filled with the soft hum of the computers, broken only by their occasional sips. When he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, he set his mug down, deciding to rest against the wall for a moment longer, and then he would concede defeat and head back to his room. He hated to admit it—and would never admit it to anyone but himself—but Nya’s company was pleasant. Warm. 

And… it was nice to not be alone at night. It was nice to be distracted from his rotted thoughts. 

When he opened his eyes again, sunlight was streaming into the room. He blinked confusedly, taking in his bedroom, and the blanket wrapped snugly around him, tucked in neatly. 

Had he… fallen asleep in the Control Room? 

Had Nya…?

His chest bloomed with warmth. She had carried him to his room. She had tucked him into bed. Nobody had ever done that for him before. 

The smile stayed on his face all day.

Chapter Text

Lloyd didn’t understand why his Uncle had asked him to do this. Surely, one of the Ninja or Nya would be better suited for the task. Or even a kind stranger on the street! Anyone but him. 

And yet here he was, a bowl of soup cupped in his hands, walking through the hallways of the Bounty toward the Ninja’s room. Jay had come down with something after he had had to act as a lightning rod during a crazy storm the night before. It was an honourable sacrifice, as Zane had put it—even Lloyd appreciated it, but only because it meant he wasn’t a pancake, splattered on the ground. Or impaled by a pole. Or drowned in the middle of the ocean. Or—

He shook his head to dislodge the thoughts, turning back to the task at hand: delivering the soup to a sick Jay. His Uncle had ordered him to go back to his room and, “Sleep until those canyons beneath your eyes are gone,” once he was done. He didn’t look that tired. 

Or maybe he did. He hadn’t quite been able to see his reflection in the bathroom mirror this morning, when his eyes had been so bleary from another sleepless night. Jay wasn’t the only miserable one today. 

He would have slept, but of course, Kai just had to say something stupid and insensitive to him again, but this time…

Man, you’re so annoying. I can see why your father chose the Shadow Realm over staying with you .

Nya had asked him to help clean in the training room, and after she had helped him sleep that one night, he hadn’t been able to say no to her. Lloyd couldn’t even remember what he had done to annoy Kai, only that he had let out a half-huff-half-snarl and whirled on him abruptly, snapping the words then storming off, the air around him scalding hot while Lloyd’s chest felt as if it had been struck with an attack from Zane; frost crept up his lungs and clouded his mind.

He had dwelled on the words all afternoon, hidden away in his room, until Zane knocked on his door with dinner. The man hadn’t let him skip a meal since Lloyd had promised to eat more, and the katsu had helped, but… 

But the moment Zane left, his heart had turned black again, shrivelling up and sinking to the floor. 

Did his father…

No, he had told Lloyd he wished to be with him in his letters, that he hated the fact that they couldn’t be together, hated being trapped in a different realm, so far away.

But what if… What if he had changed his mind in the months Lloyd hadn’t talked to him? Was that why his dad had stopped sending him letters?

The thought had kept him up all night, and no matter how hard he had scratched at his wrists, this time the ache in his chest refused to ebb. 

A raised plank snagged on Lloyd’s foot and he stumbled, barely catching himself before he face-planted on the floor. Soup sloshed over the rim of the bowl, sinking into his sleeve and seeping into his arm beneath, much to his disgust. 

Scrunching his nose, Lloyd set the soup down, crouching beside it and casting a glare back at the raised plank that had caused him strife. A scathing look would teach it!

The soup was already beginning to crust on his sleeve and he groaned, dabbing at it with his other sleeve to no avail. With a huff, he drew the sleeve back to his elbow and scrubbed at the slimy remains on his wrist, nose wrinkling when it left behind a thin, sticky layer clinging to his flesh. It would have to do for now, until he could get back to his room and hang his hoodie out to dry. 

And it had just been cleaned, too! Hopefully his long-sleeve—snatched by his Uncle last night—would be dry by now.

The sliminess clung to his skin as he grabbed the soup and stood again, the sensation aggravated with every slight movement. The sooner he delivered this soup, the sooner he could deal with this new problem that had arisen.

His life seemed to be filled with problems these days, didn’t it?

Rather than knock and wait, Lloyd kicked open the door to the Ninja’s bedroom and stormed inside, his mood souring with every second passing where he had to deal with the awful sensation on his arm. Inside, Jay jumped a foot in the air, head whipping around to face him, his arms raised on the defence. His cheeks were flushed with slight fever, and the darkness beneath his eyes could rival Lloyd’s own. He was pale. 

“Oh,” Jay mumbled, his voice stuffy. He sniffled. “Jus’ you.” 

Lloyd shoved the soup into Jay’s hands, missing the way Jay’s eyes widened comically. “Uncle wanted me to deliver you this and tell you to get better. Or whatever. I don’t care. Bye.” 

He turned to leave, eager to dry his hoodie, when Jay’s hand latched onto his wrist, locking him in place. “Wait!” 

Lloyd turned to him, giving his best thunderous expression—they had practised at Darkley’s, but his teachers never complimented his—but Jay’s eyes weren’t on his. They were on the arm he was currently holding with a steel grip.

The… arm he had forgotten to re-cover with his sleeve. 

Lloyd’s stomach dropped and he tried to tear his hand away, but even in his sickly state, Jay’s strength far outmatched Lloyd’s own. “Let me go!” 

Jay set the soup to the side, inspecting the scratches with worried eyes, inspecting the bruise looped around his wrist from when Kai had latched onto him, over a week ago, now a faint, splotchy yellow-green. He ran his fingers lightly over a particularly nasty one from last night, still crusted with red scabs, and Lloyd shivered, apprehension settling in his chest.

Gods, he was so screwed. They’d be done with him now.

“Lloyd,” he flinched, looking away before Jay could meet his eye, “What are these from?” 

Lloyd clamped his mouth shut, stubborn. Not happening. He didn’t need another reason to be teased, or judged, or whatever. 

“Lloyd.” Jay’s voice was low, wary of alerting anyone else in the ship of their situation, much to Lloyd’s relief. “This isn’t the time to be stubborn,” Lloyd huffed, letting Jay know just how he felt about that. “This is serious. Is someone hurting you?” 

Lloyd gave no reaction, though his heart panged at the thought of how Kai had gripped his wrist so tightly. It hadn’t been intentional though, he was certain of it. He just… bruised easily.

“Or,” Jay began, voice softer, almost indiscernible. “Did… did you do this to yourself?” 

Lloyd’s shoulders tensed of their own volition and he internally cursed when Jay gasped, because of course he noticed; he was a ninja!

“Alright,” Jay announced with a sense of finality. He stood, stumbled when his unwell body protested the movement, and then gently pushed Lloyd down onto the bed before he could try and run, or even think to tear his arm out of Jay’s grip. “Stay.” Jay pointed down to emphasise his point, like Lloyd was some dog. Had it not been for the dangerous expression on Jay’s face—terrifying even through his sick pallor—Lloyd would have snapped at him and scampered off. As it was, he sat stock-still as Jay zipped over to the door faster than should be possible in his state, closing and locking the thing. 

Locking Lloyd inside for… who knew what reason. 

But rather than scold him, or tease him, yet another one of the Ninja surprised him. 

Jay sat down, eyeing him worriedly—then hurriedly shifted away when a coughing fit wracked his frame. “Sorry,” he croaked out with a wince. “I don’t want to get you sick.” 

Lloyd scoffed, crossing his arms. “I don’t get sick.” It was true. He hadn’t caught a single illness passing through Darkley’s, nor been unwell from consuming bad food. Ever. He was just too tough.

Jay eyed him sceptically, then edged closer again with a nod. Finally, someone was taking him seriously. “Talk to me,” he said. 

Lloyd blinked. Weren’t they already talking? “What?” 

“What’s going on?” Jay elaborated. “What’s making you feel so awful you’re hurting yourself?”

Lloyd’s stomach twisted and he turned away. He wasn’t… it was just a way of relieving the yucky feelings stuck inside of him! Not…

But then, it was, wasn’t it? He was the one scratching his wrists so harshly, his nails drew blood. No one was forcing him to do it. 

The realisation settled heavily in his stomach. He said nothing. Even if he was… doing that, it was none of Jay’s business as to why. If he had it his way, he wouldn’t be trapped aboard this stupid ship, surrounded by his enemies. Enemies who all fiercely hated him!

Or, at least, some of them do, he thought as images of Zane and Nya flashed across his mind, and the kind concern currently in Jay’s eyes. 

“Lloyd,” Jay repeated, but Lloyd refused to acknowledge him. Let the guy figure out just how stubborn he could be. Eventually, he’d get sick of this and send Lloyd away with a huff. Everyone else did. 

Jay waited a long minute, then, upon realising he was getting nothing out of Lloyd, sighed heavily. Lloyd smirked; his plan was working already! A little longer, and he would be able to clean up the soup from his hoodie. 

And then a nap. The Gods knew he needed one. Maybe he could grab some more chamomile from the kitchen? It had helped last time, and had left him warmed, head to toe. He had to believe it would work again. 

“Lloyd,” Jay said again, and Lloyd turned narrowed eyes to him. Seriously, couldn’t the guy give up already?

But Jay wasn’t looking at him. His gaze was lowered, staring into his lap, troubled. Like… like the thought of Lloyd doing this to himself was genuinely causing him pain.

But that was silly, right? No one cared for him but his father. He knew this, had lived by it all his life.

But then, why had Zane and Nya…? 

No, he refused to dwell on it. 

“I’m only asking because,” Lloyd blinked, dragging his attention back to Jay, “Because I know how it feels,” he said with a shuddering breath. Lloyd inhaled sharply. He didn’t mean… Did Jay do something similar? Surely not. He had a wonderful life! Nobody hated him because he wasn’t good enough, or bad enough, or whatever. He had the Ninja to help him! He got to have two families, where Lloyd was scraping by with barely one.

Jay continued, “I know how awful it feels, and how lonely, and I never wanted that for anyone else—especially someone as young as you.” He sighed again, the sound carrying the weight of the world on it, snatching away any complaints Lloyd might have made about being called young. 

“You…?” Lloyd trailed off, uncertain. 

Jay nodded, a rueful smile gracing his lips. “I’ll show you. If you let me rub ointment over yours.” Lloyd pursed his lips. He didn’t like the thought of Jay touching him, especially on his wrists, but… Jay had seen his arm; it was only fair he saw Jay’s in return, right? 

Besides, from the determined look on Jay’s face, Lloyd was certain he wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

“Fine,” Lloyd agreed, a little snappily. He had to keep up appearances, of course. Letting Jay know he was nervous about being touched by him was a no-go. No soon-to-be-evil-overlord could be seen afraid. Not a chance. 

Jay beamed, then reached past him to his dresser, his side pressing against Lloyd. Lloyd held his breath at the close proximity, his stomach twisting, trying to get away, but held his ground—he couldn’t show signs of discomfort, either. None of the boys at Darkley’s had given him a kind touch; no pats on the shoulder, or arms linked. He couldn’t even recall the last time he had been hugged… It felt weird to be so close to another person.

Jay rifled through the cabinet for a moment, before pulling out a little mostly-full jar of a yellow cream with a little Aha! When he opened the jar, the smell of pines filled the room, much to Lloyd’s delight. Oh, how he missed the endless pine forests stretching across the continent. The air was so crisp and fresh out there, and he dreamt of it often. 

“Alright. What do you want to do first?” Jay asked, setting the jar aside and waiting patiently. 

Lloyd hesitated. Jay was asking him what he wanted to do, rather than forcing him to show his arms first, and potentially not going through with his promise. He wouldn’t last a day at Darkley’s.

But Lloyd hadn’t lasted there either.

“Show me first,” he said. Regardless, he needed to know that Jay would uphold his end of the promise before he allowed the ninja to touch him.

Jay hummed lightly, as if he had anticipated the response, left hand moving to his right sleeve. Then, he hesitated, lips becoming thin with nerves. Lloyd watched him with furrowed brows, took in the way he began to bite his bottom lip, and the way his hand began to shake slightly.

Was he… anxious? Lloyd had thought the Ninja were incapable of such a thing; they were stronger than life itself, right? That was the impression they always gave in battle—if not a little uncoordinated. 

But here, Jay didn’t look like the immovable Ninja Lloyd had put up onto a pedestal. Here, Jay looked like any other normal human of Ninjago. He looked scared. 

“Actually,” Lloyd said, his mouth moving before his mind could catch up with it, determined to remove that troubled-miserable-anxious look from Jay’s face. It wasn’t right! “Let’s do the ointment first.” When Jay turned to him, eyes wide with confusion, Lloyd quickly added, “But you have to clean the sticky soup away first.” Yes, that was what he wanted. The soup cleared from his arm. Evil overlords didn’t care about removing the unease from their enemy’s face—they didn’t care about anyone, and Lloyd cared for no one but himself and his dad. 

Jay nodded slowly, stupefied, then blinked as if something had occurred to him. A smile, small as it was, quirked his lips as he reached for the cream. Lloyd elected to ignore it, along with the nerves swooping in his stomach that whispered that Jay had understood his intentions. 

“The guys won’t let me leave the room to get a cloth,” Jay began, “But I think we have a spray in here for cleaning wounds, so I can use that. Aha!” Jay pulled out said spray with a grin. He held out a hand expectantly, and, after a moment’s hesitation, Lloyd offered up one of his own. 

Jay smiled warmly at him again, then turned his hand so it was facing palm-up. Jay sprayed some of the liquid all along Lloyd’s wrist. Lloyd wrinkled his nose as the overpowering scent of disinfectant filled the air, but Jay didn’t seem disturbed, so he said nothing. 

“Alright.” Jay took a tissue from his bedside table, carefully wiping away the spray and with it the remains of the sticky soup clinging to Lloyd’s skin. Once his wrist was dry, Lloyd sighed in relief, pulling his arm back to prod at the flesh, ensuring it was truly free of that awful sensation. 

Jay waited until he was satisfied, then said, “Time for the cream. I’ll be gentle, I promise. I know how… uncomfortable it can be.” 

As he had promised, Jay took his hand and, after dipping his fingers into the yellow paste, began to carefully lather it over the entirety of Lloyd’s wrist. Lloyd winced at the touch, at how cool the paste was, but Jay was so gentle, the wounds only let out a slight tingle, as if curious as to what was being applied to them. 

Only once did Lloyd hiss with pain: when Jay’s hand glided over a particularly nasty scratch on his other wrist. Jay was quick to apologise, waiting until Lloyd promised he was fine before continuing. The tenderness left confusion buzzing in Lloyd’s head and warmth blooming in his chest. Why were they all being so gentle with him? He was meant to be their enemy! They should be treating him like Kai was, not tending to his stupid self-inflicted wounds with the care one would give their own child! 

He didn’t understand, and it was annoying him. 

But then Jay grinned at him, proud of his own work, proud of how he had helped Lloyd, and the anger bubbling to life in his chest flickered out. 

“All done!” Jay announced, pulling back to give Lloyd some space. His arms still felt warm, even as Jay removed his hands from them. Lloyd inspected his wrists, still tingling faintly under the paste like his mouth did after he brushed his teeth; not in a bad way, just odd, and very noticeable. 

“That’ll help them heal up nicely,” Jay added as he tightened the cap on the jar again, setting it to the side. “And it should prevent any scarring.” 

Lloyd’s stomach dropped. Scarring? They were just little scratches; they wouldn’t scar, right? How could he take over the world—though that dream seemed… less appealing these days—when people were mocking him for having such a nasty habit in his youth?

As if sensing his inner turmoil, Jay quickly said, “Don’t worry! Even if they do scar, I’ve got something else to help that fade.” 

Lloyd sighed in relief and nodded. It was something, at least. And… it helped, to know Jay cared enough to notice he was worried, and to offer to help if need be. 

He traced one of the half-healed scratches absentmindedly, making a face when the paste caught under his nail. Instinctively, he made to wipe it over Jay’s bedsheets—but he hesitated, then smeared it on his pants instead. Jay had been so kind to him, and a part of him shrivelled up at the thought of repaying that kindness by smearing paste over his sheets.

Some evil overlord (to be) he was.

“Alright, guess it’s my turn to uphold my end of the bargain.”  Lloyd glanced up at Jay confusedly, then remembered Jay’s promise. Had he gotten so distracted by Jay’s kindness that he had forgotten?

Staying here was becoming a danger to his evil plans…

The thought was whisked away when Jay shifted closer to him, holding out one of his arms, palm facing up. Slowly, he pulled down his sleeve. The lack of hesitation in the action this time gave Lloyd a sense of accomplishment—that he then squashed down, because evil overlords didn’t feel proud of themselves for making their enemies comfortable!

Jay’s wrist was bare, clean of any nasty scratches like Lloyd’s was, and Lloyd frowned. Had Jay actually deceived him? Had he pretended to be the same, just to trick Lloyd so he could… could what? Apply a healing paste to his wounds? 

But then he kept pulling the sleeve up, and Lloyd realised with a start that Jay hadn’t been lying; he had just been careful with where he had done the damage. Nasty cuts—not scratches, cuts—began near the crook of Jay’s elbow, littering the area in an array of mostly faded milky whites and pale pinks. A handful of  raw red wounds stood out, but they were few in number. The realisation had Lloyd exhaling with relief. Not because he cared! It was just… nice to see that it could get better.

He reached out a hand to touch one, then hesitated. Lloyd didn’t like the thought of Jay touching his wounds; surely the same would apply to Jay. 

“I don’t do it often anymore,” Jay said, mournful eyes tracing his wounds. “When I was younger, before all of this”—he gestured widely to the Bounty around him—“I wasn’t nearly this clean.” He chuckled at the end, as if what he was saying held any sort of humour to it. “But being around the others… it really helps. Sometimes, my emotions get too overwhelming and I relapse, but I’m doing a lot better.” 

Lloyd blinked. Jay did it when his emotions became too much, just like… “It’s the same for me,” he admitted before he could think too hard about it. He lowered his gaze to his lap, playing with his fingers. “Sometimes, those awful, yucky feelings feel like they’re all caught up in my lungs.”

Jay nodded sagely. “Like you’re drowning under them?”

Lloyd dipped his head excitedly. Jay understood! “Yeah. It makes it easier to breathe.” 

“It does,” Jay agreed, but his voice still sounded so sad. Lloyd didn’t understand why. Wasn’t it great they had found each other, and they could relate? That they weren’t alone in this?

“But,” Jay continued, “It’s not healthy. It’s… It took me years to understand this, but my Ma said something that really stuck with me: ‘If you’re hurting yourself, is it really making you feel better?’” 

Lloyd blinked. “But… it is. Isn’t it?” 

Jay smiled that sad smile again, the one where it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “For a moment, it does. But don’t you find yourself feeling that way again and again?” Lloyd bit his lip and nodded. “So it’s not really fixing the problem. It’s just… distracting you from it, and hurting you. It makes you believe you deserve punishment when you feel bad, which isn’t true; everyone feels bad at times.” 

Lloyd elected not to mention that he felt bad a lot more than just ‘at times.’ He ignored the way his stomach sank at the realisation that he wasn’t quite like everyone in yet another aspect of his life.

“You know what does help?” That piqued Lloyd’s interest. “Talking to someone about how you’re feeling—I know,” Jay added when Lloyd scrunched his face up in disgust, “It’s difficult, and scary. I find talking to my Ma about how I’m feeling helps me breathe during those times.” Lloyd glanced down at Jay’s arm again fleetingly, at the angry red lines. He didn’t talk to her every time he felt bad, it seemed.

“Look, what I’m trying to say is… If you feel this way again, can you try and talk to one of us, rather than hurting yourself? You can talk to me if you want,” Jay offered, much to Lloyd’s surprise. “I’ll always listen. Or, if you’re not too comfortable with that, I’m sure Sensei Wu would help.” 

Lloyd shuddered at that thought. His Uncle had already done so much for him by taking him off of the streets and feeding him… He didn’t have time to listen to Lloyd whine about how awful he felt.

But Jay was still watching him, so he nodded slowly. “I’ll try,” he said, though he made no promise to do so. He doubted he would take Jay’s advice, but the least he could do was think on it, especially if Jay had gone through something similar to him. 

“Oh, and uh,” Lloyd tilted his head curiously, frowning when he saw the way Jay rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “The other guys and Nya don’t know about this.” Jay hadn’t told them? Lloyd had thought they were a team, and that they told one another everything. “Do you mind keeping it between us?” 

“Only if you don’t say anything about”—Lloyd gestured to his own wrist—“This.” 

Jay smiled and nodded. “Pinky promise.” He held out his pinky, and Lloyd curled his own around it. They shook on it once, then let go. 

“Deal.” 

Chapter Text

The ocean air was frigid at this time of night. Especially when one was curled up in a tight ball on the deck of the Bounty, their only protection against the wind a thin long-sleeve. Clouds shrouded the sky above, a barrier between Lloyd and the comfort of the stars and moon, twinkling above. 

He doubted they could help him tonight. 

The Postman had visited earlier, using some sort of contraption attached to his bike that allowed it to fly (even if Lloyd didn’t believe the pathetic ‘wings’ attached to its spokes should have been able to break the laws of physics enough for him to get onto the Bounty, but whatever). Excitement had thrummed through his veins and left him bouncing on his feet as the man passed out packages to Kai and Cole, then a letter for Jay. Lloyd had raced closer, asking eagerly if his father had sent any letters that might have gotten lost—how could the man know he was here, now? 

But the Postman had shrugged and confessed he hadn’t seen hide nor hair—or bone, as he had put it—of the skeleton that usually delivered the letters from Lloyd’s father in the man’s place, and the monster had a knack for being able to locate the Postman no matter where he was; Lloyd’s father hadn’t sent him anything in response to Lloyd’s last letter.

And Lloyd’s heart had shattered, the pieces sinking down to his feet, then below deck, and then farther, plummeting until they hit the bottom of the sea the Bounty was anchored in for the day. He had nodded and waved the man off at the time, heading back inside with his usual scowl to watch Zane make dinner. 

But now, after he had eaten his fill and tried to sleep to no avail, he found himself back out here where the bad news had been delivered, his heart feeling as if it were trying to tear itself into pieces when he had only just managed to scrappily bandage it back together. Lloyd supposed it was payback for suppressing the awful feelings earlier. 

Not that he cared, when he was too busy bawling his eyes out because his dad had stopped talking to him. His dad had been consistently sending him letters for years now, from the moment they discovered that he could have one of his henchmen deliver the letters to the Realm he couldn’t enter himself. Every two weeks without fail Lloyd would receive a letter from his dad, and send one of his own in return. His dad had been the only one who cared enough to keep contact with him, even despite his physical displacement.

It had been two and a half months since Lloyd had sent off his last letter with the postman; two and a half months since he had received a letter from his dad.

The ache in his chest wasn’t unfamiliar. Loneliness had been wrapped around him like a blanket since his mother left him at Darkley’s doorstep—he had even named the blue blanket she had left him with ‘Loneliness’ as a joke, if only to make it hurt less. But this time, the ache was different; it cut deeper, flaying him to the bone. 

It hurt. It hurt as if his heart truly had been pierced, as if he had been kicked in the chest a few too many times without any chance to recover. His dad no longer cared about him.

And if his dad didn’t, then nobody did.

Another salty breeze washed over him, turning his tear-stained cheeks to ice, and he shuddered, curling up tighter. He was miserable enough as is—did the universe have to try and make him feel worse every time he was upset?

Not even the burning in his wrists, now faint from an earlier episode, had managed to ease this pain. He was all alone now, and the realisation had another sob tearing from his throat, had him squeezing his knees tighter in an attempt to hold himself together. 

“Lloyd?” 

Lloyd would deny the shriek that escaped him, thick and wet with tears. His head whipped up in alarm, blurry vision trying to make out the shadowy figure before him, the cloud cover doing him no favour in working out who it was.

The figure cursed, their voice rough and jagged, like the rocky outcrops of the mountains Lloyd had clambered over only months ago, and he knew exactly whom it was. 

“I thought I heard something… Are you alright?” Cole asked, shifting closer. When Lloyd edged away from him, face flushing in shame, Cole paused his advancement. Why was Cole up at this time? And why did he have to be out here, where Lloyd was currently bawling his eyes out in the only place private enough to not have to worry about how loud he was? All the rooms below deck were too close to one another, and he had a feeling Kai would have overheard him and gotten up just to mock him.

Lloyd turned his head so his cheek rested on his knee, avoiding Cole’s gaze and hopefully hiding the tear stains streaking his face. With the clouds shrouding the moonlight, the ocean was lit only by the torches placed intermittently around the Bounty’s railings, too far away to touch him. The light poured pools of gold over the ocean, but they faded back to darkness all too quickly for Lloyd’s liking; the inky blackness on all sides made him feel even more alone, if such a thing was possible. 

He didn’t answer Cole’s question, didn’t trust his voice when his throat felt ragged and raw. 

After a long moment passed, filled only with the sea breeze and Lloyd’s occasional sniffle, Cole sighed. Rather than leave Lloyd be, though, he came closer, settling down alongside him. Lloyd shuffled away a little, on the off-chance Cole tried to hug him. Not happening. 

Cole leaned back against the wooden ship wall, eyes fixed on the control room opposite them. The lack of attention had Lloyd’s shoulders relaxing slightly, sinking from where they were tensed up to his ears. He’d still rather be alone , but at least Cole wasn’t trying to coddle him, nor was he teasing him like the boys at Darkley’s would have.

He didn’t know what to make of Cole’s actions. The Ninja were leaving him feeling this way a lot lately, weren’t they? 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Cole asked as Lloyd swiped at his eyes, his tears drying up now that he had an audience. The pain in his chest had ebbed a little, as if hiding away from Cole’s presence, shadows banished by light.

It was better than before.

When Cole finally turned to him, sensing he wouldn’t be answering verbally, Lloyd shook his head. No . The Ninja would never find out that nobody cared about him. They would never learn that even his dad, the last person alive who cared about him, had finally given up on him too. 

His eyes stung at the thought and he swallowed thickly. A sniffle escaped him, and he cursed himself for being so weak, he couldn’t repress it. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Cole’s voice was hesitant, as if leaving was the last thing he wanted to do—the realisation made Lloyd pause, rather than nod immediately. Alone, his heart had felt as if it were being shredded from the inside out by claws of molten steel. Cole’s presence, while not quite wanted, had a soothing effect. Grounding, like the nature of the element he was the master of. 

It helped, as much as Lloyd hated to admit it. A part of him that sounded suspiciously like Jay—and boy did his stomach swoop with guilt at the thought of him, and how he hadn’t kept his not-promise—told him he should allow himself this comfort. 

Hadn’t he hurt enough? 

Stupid Jay and his stupid advice. 

So, as much as his past-self from only a week ago might have hated him for it, he shook his head again. Deep down, he really didn’t want Cole to leave. Deep down, he knew he couldn’t handle this hurt alone. Deep down, he wanted someone to care enough to sit with him when he felt like this.

It was no wonder he had been kicked out of Darkley’s. They had to have seen this within him. This pathetic weakness.

“Alright, bud.” Cole settled back against the creaky wood of the ship again, crossing his arms. His eyes slipped shut peacefully, not acknowledging Lloyd, but staying with him. A silent show of support. 

Why were the Ninja being so kind to him? Why weren’t they ignoring him, like his father?

A soft sound filled the air and Lloyd blinked, torn away from his mind before he could delve into that misery. He glanced up at Cole, but the man’s eyes were still shut. The sound picked up again, and Lloyd realised with a start that it was coming from Cole. He had started humming.

The soft tune broke through the silence surrounding them, its melody lilting, rising up and down like the waves around them, like the ship rocking back and forth beneath them. Cole wasn’t carrying the tune well, but…

But it poured through the tears in his heart like honey, soothing and warm. Lloyd’s shoulders relaxed completely and he sat back, mimicking Cole. He turned his gaze to the sky as Cole’s song washed over him, searching for any sign of the stars.

When he found none, he sighed softly and shut his eyes, leaning his head back against the wood. He focused on the song, letting it drown out his pain.

Chapter Text

His eyes felt like they had been pulled from his head and left out in the desert for a fortnight. As he cracked them open, pain needled into his skull, both from those stupid two points on his head that had been aching for days, and right through his eyes. He rubbed away the crust lining his eyes and the salt upon his cheeks, groaning. 

Sleep had eluded him even after he had bawled his eyes out last night. It had eluded him despite the exhaustion settled in his bones and soul, and even after he had left Cole out on the deck with a fleeting smile in thanks for his company, he hadn’t been able to snag more than a half hour of sleep. Not when his head and his heart and his tailbone hurt with a fiery vengeance. 

Gods, the universe hated him. 

His stomach grumbled, sending a stabbing pain through his gut as if to promise that things would get worse should he try to ignore it, and he hauled himself upright with a groan, tossing rumpled blankets aside. How he had managed to ignore the thing’s wrath for years on end, he hadn’t the faintest idea; nowadays, the slightest inkling of hunger had him feeling lightheaded and sent him crawling back into the kitchen to alleviate the sensation.

Lloyd stumbled into the bathroom, taking a moment to ensure he locked the door behind him. No one needed to see him like this, with red eyes and dried tear-tracks down his cheeks. Not even Cole had been able to properly see him last night, when the shadows had shrouded both of their forms.

At the thought of Cole, he paused in the middle of washing his face, a shudder creeping up his spine. He hoped he wouldn’t see the ninja today. Or ever again, really. No one had seen him crumble like that before, and hot shame boiled low in his gut as he recalled how pathetic he had acted before Cole, before his enemy. 

The enemy that had comforted him…

Lloyd groaned, splashing his face with water. This was all too confusing, and he didn’t want to try and unpack those weird instances of kindness from his (former?) enemies when he was this tired. At least Kai had been consistent, his actions exactly what Lloyd had expected from an enemy. 

Again, a shudder crawled up his spine, his stomach twisting as he thought of Kai, which in turn led him to thinking about his father, and how he hadn’t sent him any—

No , he told himself, blinking back the tears pricking at his eyes. Not now. He had to get some food, now, and with his luck, someone else would be in the kitchen. It would likely be Zane, preparing…

Lloyd cast a glance out of the window, noting how the sun was already at its peak.

Preparing lunch, then. 

Later, he could dwell on the lack of a letter from his father, and the implications that followed that. When it was safe to do so. 

For now, Lloyd dried his face off, staring grimly at his exhausted reflection in the mirror. At least his eyes weren’t so bloodshot from crying anymore, and his cheeks were clear of their salty stains. His irises, as red as his father’s, seemed a little dull today, lacking their usual ruby-esque gleam. 

He tried not to think too hard about that as he slipped out of the bathroom. He had no pyjamas to change out of—had no change of clothes, period. All he had was himself and his hoodie, and his heart ached at the realisation that his father could no longer be tacked onto that already minuscule list.

Not. Now. 

The kitchen was quiet as he neared it, and Lloyd had to shove down any hope climbing up his chest, bright and golden. Hope only led to disappointment. He should know better than to have any. 

Lo and behold, the kitchen wasn’t empty as that stupid hope had tried to get him to believe. But it wasn’t Zane within the warm room, much to his dismay. It was Kai. 

The ninja sat at the table, a bowl of cereal before him. One hand held his head up as he stared tiredly at the wall opposite him. The other pushed his food around the bowl with a spoon, occasionally scooping up some for him to munch on. 

Lloyd wasn’t the only exhausted one today, it seemed. A mission had worked the Ninja to the bone yesterday, keeping them fighting for hours with the Serpentine, so it came as no surprise to see Kai so lacklustre despite it being midday. Lloyd had no idea how Cole had managed to keep himself awake to comfort him last night. 

Lloyd hesitated in the entryway, biting down on his lip nervously. Kai had yet to notice him; Lloyd could escape now, if he was quick. But then his stomach clenched, as if preparing to start tearing into itself to get its fill, and he knew he had to go into the room and grab something. A quick snack. He could be in and out. 

So he slipped into the room, keeping his gaze firmly on the ground to avoid the moment Kai inevitably noticed him. It was best if he could avoid any interaction with Kai; the guy couldn’t taunt him if Lloyd gave him nothing, right?

But of course, fate had to mock him, for he bumped into the wooden table as he passed, not noticing how close he was with his eyes glued to the floor and exhaustion coating his vision like wool. Lloyd stumbled away with a grimace, raising a hand to rub at his throbbing side and wincing when he heard something drop to the floor, followed by a rustling that could only come from the contents of a cereal box emptying itself onto said floor. 

Shoot. Way to go, Lloyd. 

“Seriously?” Kai drawled when Lloyd made no move to pick up the fallen cereal box—his limbs were too paralysed with fearful anticipation to do so. Lloyd’s heart sank to his feet as Kai spoke up. Not now. Not now. Not—

“Didn’t your Ma ever teach you to clean up after yourself?” Kai added with a scoff, up-righting the box and casting a nasty glare at the cereal scattered over the floor. “Gods, she’d be—” 

“Shut up!” They both froze. Kai turned wide eyes to him, and Lloyd was surprised to realise he had spoken. Kai’s eyes narrowed, but it seemed whatever had spurred Lloyd to snap in the first place wasn’t done. 

“Just stop it! I already know she doesn’t give a damn about me. I don’t need you to—” Lloyd smacked a hand over his mouth, his eyes widening. What had he done? Now Kai knew she didn’t care, and he could use it against him, and everything was going to get even worse, and— 

“Woah, woah. Calm down there, kid. Hey. Breathe.” 

Lloyd flinched when a warm hand landed on his shoulder, tearing him out of his head. And Gods, did his lungs hurt. They burned like he had inhaled his body-worth of smoke. 

“Breathe,” Kai repeated, that warm hand over his shoulder tightening its grip. The sensation was so grounding, Lloyd couldn’t find it within himself to shrug it off, not when it felt as if it were the only thing tethering his mind to his body. He focused on the warm sensation as he pulled air into his lungs, ragged breaths escaping him as he exhaled. 

“There we go,” Kai murmured once Lloyd’s breathing had settled some. Both of his warm, toasty hands were on Lloyd’s shoulders now, and Lloyd wondered if Kai knew just how badly they had been needed. Just how close Lloyd had been to falling off of the world entirely, until they had anchored him back down. 

“Are you alright?” Kai asked, squeezing his shoulders in an attempt to bring him back to reality. Lloyd barely heard him, when his mind had fixated on the warmth flowing through his shoulders as it worked on getting his lungs to function normally again.

Kai nudged him, and Lloyd recalled that he had asked a question—and then, he recalled how he had acted in front of Kai. His stomach dropped and with it his gaze, down to the scuffed wooden floor. He had given Kai so much material to work with. Kai had to already have dozens of new taunts in mind ready to throw at Lloyd.

Lloyd’s face burned. He said nothing, his throat closing up and his arms wrapping around his middle protectively. But he didn’t remove himself from Kai’s hold either, though he wasn’t certain if that was because his touch was so warm and grounding, a ray of sunlight in his constantly cold life; or because Kai’s grip on him was too tight to shake.

He found he didn’t want to shake it, anyway.

Kai sighed at his silence, straightening back to his full height. He kept his hold on Lloyd, but adjusted it so he could steer Lloyd over to the table and push him down into one of the seats, opposite of where Kai had been sitting earlier. Lloyd’s legs felt like jelly, and the gentle nudge Kai gave had him all but collapsing into the chair, a nasty scraping filling the air and making him wince. 

He bit his cheek as alarm flew through his chest, waiting with bated breath for Kai to admonish him for scratching the wooden floors. But Kai only patted him on the back, then turned away to slide the kitchen door shut. Lloyd bit back a whimper when Kai’s warm hands left him, his shoulders feeling frostbitten without it. He rubbed at them to ease the sensation, lips twisting. 

As the door slid shut behind him, silence truly settled over them. Lloyd hadn’t really noticed the faint sounds of the other Ninja drifting in earlier, but now that their boisterous laughter was cut off, he found himself missing it. With its absence, he became all too aware that it was just him and Kai in here. 

He worried his lip between his teeth and kept his gaze firmly on a stain tainting the wooden dining table, a ring where someone had no doubt spilled tea over the rim of their cup, then neglected to clean the mess. Despite his best efforts, he flinched as Kai made his way past him and into the kitchen, snatching up the cereal box as he passed. He paused at the movement, inhaling as if to say something, but then shook his head and continued on.

Lloyd risked a curious glance up a moment later, relief flooding him when he saw Kai’s back was turned to him. The other was putting together another bowl of cereal. Had he decided one wasn’t enough? Lloyd couldn’t understand how anyone could manage to fit in seconds, when his stomach felt ready to explode after a single serving, although he supposed his years of neglecting the thing might have had something to do with that.

Kai began turning around, and Lloyd was quick to drop his gaze back to the table, scuffing one shoe against the ground when nerves tumbled into his gut again. Was this it? Was this where Kai—

A bowl was placed in front of him and he jumped, eyes snapping up to meet Kai’s. Red met fiery gold for a heartbeat, and then Kai looked away, turning his attention to pulling his chair back out to sit down again. Lloyd frowned, the odd behaviour so uncharacteristic of the usually brazen Kai. Normally, Lloyd would be the one avoiding his gaze.

What was going on?

“That’s for you,” Kai said, gesturing to the bowl of cereal. “You came in here to eat, right?” 

He had. But taking food Kai had offered left him uneasy. What if Kai had tampered with the meal? What if he had poisoned it, or even done something as simple as put chilli powder in it to throw Lloyd off and make him suffer?

Kai still wasn’t looking at him, so Lloyd took the opportunity to lean forward and sniff the cereal, searching for anything hidden beneath the scents of milk and wheat. He pursed his lips when he found nothing but sugar, still uncertain. His stomach growled, reminding him of its earlier threat to start tearing itself apart, and he decided to take the risk. Maybe Kai was feeling sorry for him after his little explosion earlier. 

Despite the knowledge that it was safe to eat, Lloyd was still hesitant to take his first bite. He pushed the cereal around the bowl absentmindedly, wondering if Kai would let him simply stand and walk away, or if he had closed the kitchen door to trap him in here to do…

Well, Lloyd still wasn’t certain what Kai was planning, but he had a feeling it was nothing good.

Lloyd nearly jumped out of his skin when Kai let out a sigh abruptly, almost knocking his bowl of cereal onto the floor and making an even bigger mess—he made a mental note to clean up the cereal scattered across the floor once he had eaten, if only to try and keep the worst of Kai’s anger at bay. 

Kai began to draw circles around the knots in the wood of the table, his other hand propping his head up. He stared vacantly down at his moving hand, his mind seemingly miles away. When he finally began to speak, his voice was softer than Lloyd had ever heard it—although he was often on the receiving end of his shouts, so he hadn’t much to compare it to.

“I, uh…” Kai took in a deep breath, then tried again. “I know what it’s like to have a”—his lips twisted as he searched for the right word—“complicated relationship with your parents.”

Complicated. Ha! That was one word for Lloyd’s relationship with his parents. Try non-existent with his mother, and…

He wasn’t so sure where he stood with his father. Maybe complicated was the best word for that.

“Back when Nya and I were young,” Kai continued, his nail digging into the wood harshly, the sound grating on Lloyd’s ears. “It was a Friday night. My parents always bought us some beef as a treat, and we’d sit together and cook it in what we called ‘yakiniku’.” Lloyd wondered why Kai was telling him this. Was he trying to brag about how perfect his childhood had been in comparison to Lloyd’s? 

If so, Kai was about to get a bowl full of cereal to the face.

“I still remember the day, even though I couldn’t have been older than seven,” Kai said, his eyes distant, reminiscing. Apprehension had Lloyd biting his lip as he watched Kai; he didn’t like the way that had been phrased, as if it were a precursor to something awful. “Nya was barely three, but she’d already begun to recognise the pattern, and she was so excited for our tradition.

“My parents… they left to get the meat as they did every other week. Nya and I waited on the porch together for them to return, watching the sun as it set. Nya’s always loved the sunset…” His eyes crinkled with fondness momentarily, until sadness dragged his lips back down.

“But that came and went, and our parents still hadn’t returned. I thought they’d found themselves caught up at the market, but…” Kai swallowed thickly, his hand stilling. 

He didn’t need to finish; Lloyd understood. Kai’s parents had left, and they never came back. 

“I don’t know what happened, but the folks at the markets said they never saw my parents come through…” Kai shook his head and offered Lloyd a shaky grin, as if trying to put up a front and reassure Lloyd that he was over it, that he was fine with it, though the action fell flat, like trying to stick paper over a gaping hole in the wall—Lloyd had seen multiple of the Ninja do so in his short time here, and every time Uncle had caught and scolded them. Well, when the man was home, at any rate.

“Anyway.” Kai cleared his throat. Lloyd winced when he heard something catch, and Kai repeated the action to clear it. “I know what it’s like to have issues with your parents. I…” He sighed, lips twisting. He fell silent, apparently done saying his piece.

Lloyd’s stomach felt hollow and his mind cramped with this new information. He couldn’t fix his head, but… He began to spoon cereal into his mouth to try and clear that gaping emptiness filling his gut at Kai’s words. After that, he had a feeling Kai truly hadn’t tampered with the meal. 

Kai’s parents had abandoned him at a young age too. Of all the people on the ship, Kai —and, by extension, Nya—would understand how Lloyd felt. Lloyd wasn’t so alone in this as he had always thought he was. No one at Darkley’s had understood what he was going through; all of their parents had paid big dollars for their kids to go to that rotten school, to become the best of the best when it came to petty villainy.

Lloyd’s mother had dumped him off at the nearest boarding school and ran. 

Lloyd froze when Kai stood, the scraping of his chair against the floor making Lloyd wince. Rather than antagonise Lloyd as he used to, Kai simply grabbed the dustpan and broom from one of the cupboards, then knelt down to begin clearing away the mess of cereal Lloyd had yet to clean himself. 

And Lloyd…

Lloyd’s heart warmed. In the span of five minutes, Kai had gone from mocking and teasing him, to relating to him on a personal level and even cleaning up after him without comment. 

Maybe… Maybe they could be friends after all? Lloyd didn’t dare to hope, but he allowed the fleeting thought to weave images of him and Kai playing games together, pranking the others together, simply existing together, just for a moment. 

So maybe he wasn’t able to quite rid himself of all the hope within him. But this one time, he would let it be. 

“My mother left me too,” Lloyd blurted when Kai moved away, preparing to empty the contents of the dustpan into the bin. Kai fumbled with the dustpan, failing to catch it in time before it dropped to the floor with a loud clatter, and Lloyd wasn’t certain whether it was his admission that had brought about the reaction, or the fact that he was speaking at all. 

Kai turned back to him with wide eyes and heat blazed Lloyd’s cheeks. He lowered his gaze, imitating Kai’s earlier movement of tracing the knots in the wood, wishing his damn mouth would stay shut. 

“She did?” Kai asked, his voice but a whisper, yet it carried the heavy weight of horror upon it. Lloyd wondered what was going through his mind right now. 

Kai moved back to the table, ignoring the mess no doubt left behind when the dustpan hit the floor. He sat down, leaning forward to rest his head on his hands, propped up against the table, giving Lloyd his full attention. “Go on,” he said, his brows furrowed with… thought? Concern? Lloyd wasn’t certain. 

But he was certain Kai wouldn’t let him leave until he shared his own story, as simple as it was. He hadn’t had time to form a relationship with his mother; his only connection to her was the ratty blue blanket piled in a heap on his bed. He was closer to the soft pile of fabric than he was to his own mother. 

Had the circumstances been different, he might have snorted to himself at the realisation, if only because the alternative was to weep. 

Kai’s story held ties to his parents. He had reasons to miss them, and warm, fuzzy memories to use as a barrier against the agonising cold their absence no doubt filled him with. Lloyd had none of that to speak of, had no reason to stretch out this story with fond memories and yearning for a better time.

“She…” Lloyd swallowed thickly when simply speaking of her left his throat clogged with emotion. Had he ever opened up to someone about her abandonment before? Oh, right, of course he hadn’t; showing such weakness at Darkley’s would leave him as the main target of antagonization—as if he hadn’t already been one already. He hadn’t had any desire to give the bullies more ammo against him. 

Kai was still watching him, as patient as all the wooden walls Lloyd had ranted at when he had had no one else to talk to, as patient as the willow tree he had shouted and screamed at and punched until his knuckles were bloody and raw, and just as supportive as it had been when he had broken down in tears against it. 

Lloyd’s eyes flicked up momentarily, but he couldn’t hold Kai’s gaze for longer than a second, nerves spiking his chest. “I don’t even remember her, not really.” Did Kai just inhale sharply? Was he screwing this up already? Nobody had ever wanted to listen to him before, not like this. Not about this. “She, uh… S-She—” Gods, why was he tearing up? His chest ached deeply, like a knife had been plunged into his heart, and his eyes burned with the ferocity of a thousand suns. 

He hadn’t even said anything yet. Not really. And he felt nothing toward her! So why… Why did this hurt so much?

Taking in a deep breath, ignoring the way it wavered and shook with the fragility of a newborn, Lloyd tried again, pushing through so his words came out rapidly, clumsily, “She dumped me at Darkley’s when I was just a baby, and I haven’t seen her since, heh,” Lloyd chuckled humourlessly, as if there weren’t tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He shrugged, hoping it would help with the uncaring façade he was trying to give off. “Doesn’t matter anyway; I’m doing just fine without her,” he added with a huff, and then a sniffle that followed instinctively, the traitor. 

This time, Lloyd didn’t risk allowing his eyes to dart up to meet Kai’s. Shame rose up within him at the pathetic display he was showing Kai. He was meant to be stronger than this; he was the son of an evil overlord for the Gods’ sake! He wasn’t meant to fall apart in front of his enemies! He scrubbed at his eyes hastily, preparing to shove his chair back and leave, Kai and their little chat be damned, when Kai spoke up, making him pause.

“She abandoned you as a baby…” Kai murmured to himself, aghast. “And I’ve been making all these comments—Gods, I’m sorry, Lloyd.” 

Lloyd’s head snapped up, eyes meeting Kai’s. Sincerity shone within Kai’s eyes, unmistakable, and something twisted in Lloyd’s chest, nearly causing him to gasp in surprise. No one had ever apologised to him and meant it before. 

In fact, he wasn’t certain anyone had apologised to him, period. 

Kai blew out a breath, running a hand through his perpetually-perfect hair, mussing it up. He paid no attention to that; he had eyes only for Lloyd at the moment, and Lloyd basked in having someone’s full attention. How often was such a thing granted to him? 

“I know it doesn’t make up for it, or fix all the hurt I’ve no doubt caused you,” Kai wrinkled his nose up in disgust, and Lloyd was surprised to realise he was disgusted with his own actions, not with Lloyd—for once. He briefly wondered if this was a dream. But the taste of cereal still lingered upon his tongue with a sharpness he never felt in dreams, and the tears wavering within his eyes felt all too real. “But I owe you an explanation. 

“Back when it first happened, I thought you went quiet because you were ashamed of your actions, and how they would make your mother feel—assuming she had raised you to be well-mannered,” Kai added hastily. “It never even occurred to me that she… wasn’t around for you. But I should have recognised that look in your eyes; I see it in my own every time I look in the mirror.

“It seems so stupid now, but I thought maybe your time at Darkley’s had chipped away at anything your mother might have taught you—politeness and respect and all that.” Kai waved his hand vaguely by way of an explanation. “And I thought every time I mentioned her, I was reminding you of her teachings. I thought I was snuffing out what Darkley’s had done, and reminding you to behave. I used to do something similar with Nya, when she would act out after our parents left, so I’d hoped it would benefit you, too.

“I see now that it was only hurting you, and I shouldn’t have been treating you like I did Nya, anyway; you’re two different people with different needs.” Kai shook his head, lowering his gaze to the table again shamefully. “All this ninja training and yet I’m not very perceptive,” he added with a huff of laughter, hollow to Lloyd’s ears. 

Kai met Lloyd’s eye again, determination shining within the amber of his eyes. “I’ll try to be better—I will be better. I promise. We can start over, and this time I’ll be a better brother for you.” 

Something within Lloyd’s chest seized, stealing the breath from his lungs like he had been kicked. Only, rather than pain following the sensation, something warm and molten poured over his heart. 

Brother?

Kai wasn’t finished yet, and it seemed he hadn’t noticed Lloyd’s surprise. “Rather than scold you, would you prefer if I tell you if you’re doing something,” he paused, searching for the right word. Lloyd was grateful for the moment to try and catch his breath.

Brother. 

“Wrong, I guess.” Kai shrugged. “Bad, wrong, whatever. If no one’s explained this kind of stuff to you before…” He raised a hand to his chin in thought. “Alright. I could tell you, and if you want, I can explain why it’s ‘bad’,” Kai offered, his head tilting ever so slightly while he waited for Lloyd’s response. 

Lloyd had to shove down the realisation that maybe Kai hadn’t hated him all along. Maybe there had been some miscommunication, and Lloyd had assumed as such when Kai had only thought he was reprimanding him.

His… brother. 

Lloyd doubted he could ever hear that word enough. 

Kai gave a curious hum to prompt him, and Lloyd was quick to nod. “Okay,” he agreed. That sounded a lot better than being thrown into time-out without any explanation as to why, followed by a reminder as to why his mother didn’t love him. 

Kai let out a relieved huff, shoulders sinking—when had they risen so high with tension? Had he been stressed as to how Lloyd would react to his apology? Did he truly value Lloyd enough to be concerned over such a thing? 

When Kai offered him a smile, Lloyd returned it with only a moment of hesitation. The cracks in their relationship had begun to heal, and Lloyd couldn’t be happier for it. Maybe now, he would sleep a little better. 

If he could get rid of the stupid pain in his head and lower back, then he’d be right as rain.

“Here,” Kai said, reaching out to grab Lloyd’s now-empty cereal bowl, taking it into the kitchen for him along with his own forgotten bowl. He paused by the sink, giving Lloyd an odd look. When he raised an eyebrow expectantly, Lloyd gasped in understanding.

“Uh, thanks,” he said softly, the word feeling so foreign in his mouth. His cheeks felt a little hot. At Darkley’s, showing appreciation was looked down upon; evil kids never did such a thing after all. Even the slightest murmur of appreciation would send him to detention.

Kai hummed approvingly, setting the bowl down and bending to sort out the mess made when he dropped the dustpan earlier. Lloyd lowered his gaze when warmth pooled in his chest. He had never been praised for something as simple as saying thanks. In fact, it wasn’t often he was praised at all, especially back at Darkley’s—the teachers had complimented his adept nose and his ruby-red eyes (the true mark of an evil overlord, they had called them), but those hadn’t been enough to keep them from kicking him out when he hadn’t lived up to their expectations.  

But here was Kai. The guy who had been upsetting him from day one, apologising to him and calling him brother and praising him for simple things. Lloyd had a lot to unpack when he wasn’t sleeping tonight. 

“Ah,” Kai said, straightening and leaning over the counter separating them to meet Lloyd’s eye. “Could you, uh, keep that whole story between the two of us? The other guys don’t know much about my—our—past, and I’d prefer to tell them myself when I’m comfortable. For now, can you keep it a secret?” 

Lloyd’s breath caught in his throat. Kai had shared something he hadn’t yet told the other Ninja with him? Not only that, but he trusted Lloyd enough to keep it a secret? 

Something warm and fuzzy unfurled in his belly, a feeling he hadn’t felt since Brad had given into peer pressure and ditched Lloyd in favour of avoiding the bullies. It left his insides sparkling with long-forgotten mirth. 

His lip curled cheekily. “A secret. What’s that?” When Kai stared at him blankly, Lloyd raised his eyebrows, his grin widening as it used to when he played this game with Brad. 

Kai’s eyes widened with recognition. He snorted, shaking his head fondly. Fondly. At something Lloyd had done. Could today get any weirder? “Your Ma not teach you about those either?” he asked, his voice odd, lilting. 

A sliver of ice tore into Lloyd’s gut and he froze, his grin faltering. Had Kai been pulling his leg? Had he been messing with him, pretending to be his brother friend so he could make him hurt all the more? 

But the smirk on Kai’s face held no maliciousness to it—Lloyd was very familiar with that look. Instead it appeared… playful.

Lloyd’s eyes widened in understanding. Laughter bubbled up in his chest, and he had to lean over the table when it consumed him, a hand clutching his stomach. That odd tone had been sarcasm. Kai hadn’t been trying to hurt him; he had been trying to turn something painful into something they could find joy in together. A silly little joke only the two of them would understand. 

When Lloyd settled down enough to sit back in his chair, he saw the utter relief shining within Kai’s eyes, and he was rendered speechless for a moment under the realisation that Kai truly hadn’t intended to hurt him with his comments; he was worried his little joke might have brought back the pain he had caused Lloyd. Had anyone felt bad for hurting Lloyd before? 

The kids at Darkley’s had intentionally hurt him and not felt an ounce of regret, so to see someone so guilt-ridden after accidentally hurting him left Lloyd feeling weird. It wasn’t a bad sensation, just odd and unfamiliar. 

He felt he might be able to get used to it. 

The smile on Kai’s face fell the longer he stared at Lloyd, his brows furrowing, and that old insecurity rose up again. Lloyd fidgeted under Kai’s gaze, wondering what had brought about the odd look. Was it his fangs? He didn’t think Kai had seen those before, but they weren’t that weird. They certainly weren’t sharp enough to earn him points at Darkley’s.

“Are you…” Kai faltered, then tried again. “Do you want some tea?” Lloyd blinked, mind flickering back to that night with Nya, when she had offered him tea. The tea had been nice, and maybe Kai would introduce him to a new, even more delectable type? 

So long as it wasn’t his Uncle’s ancient pu’er tea, he was certain he would like it. That had too many flavours for his head to wrap itself around, and it made him dizzy and nauseous. 

Kai began to fill the kettle, and Lloyd realised he had nodded instinctively. He watched as Kai forwent the pre-packed bags of tea, instead plucking several containers from the cupboards with a confidence that told Lloyd he had his fair share of experience in preparing tea. Had his Uncle drilled his knowledge into the ninja, or did Kai have prior experience, perhaps at a tea shop?

Lloyd had to bite down on his loose tongue to keep himself from asking. Stupid sleep deprivation leaving him so open. He had gotten more than enough from Kai today, and given his fair share in return. Maybe next time he could ask, if he was that eager to know. 

A familiar, floral scent wafted over as Kai left the tea to steep, packing away the containers while he waited. Chamomile, as Nya had prepared for him only a few nights ago. 

Chamomile, and something else hidden beneath it. 

Lloyd narrowed his eyes, sniffing the air again, though he was unable to place the odd scent. It was floral, he was certain of that, but he couldn’t for the life of him detect what kind of flower Kai had added. 

His stomach twisted with nerves. What if it was poisonous?

Kai set about preparing his own cup of tea while the other, Lloyd presumed it was for him, continued to steep. Lloyd instantly recognised the scent curling through the air as jasmine—unmistakeable, when the flower’s heady aroma had filled the air only a few months ago, all through summer when Lloyd had been traversing the land. Every village he had passed through had the plant coiled around fences and over archways, their scent leaving him dizzy, overwhelming his senses. 

When Kai joined him again, setting Lloyd’s tea down and not sitting until Lloyd uttered another thanks, the chamomile-and-something tea went untouched. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Kai—well, maybe he didn’t, but could you blame him when any ounce of trust he offered back at Darkley’s had been crushed underfoot with sneers and taunts?

“It’s chamomile,” Kai said after draining his own cup of half the tea without so much as a flinch as the scalding liquid poured down his throat. Not even his Uncle was so bold, and Lloyd wondered if it was a fire elemental thing. 

Lloyd nodded mutely, cupping the mug and bringing it closer to take what he hoped was a surreptitious sniff. His face scrunched up at the unfamiliar scent mingling with the apple-and-floral scent of chamomile. “It smells… different to the last time I had it,” he said, suspicious eyes meeting Kai’s. 

Kai sighed then, defeated, dramatic, and set his mug down. “It is chamomile,” he promised. “It’s just got a little something extra—lavender,” he added when Lloyd narrowed his eyes at him. Kai huffed, crossing his arms. “Nya always likes it better when I add lavender, says it helps her get to sleep faster, and…” Were Kai’s cheeks turning red? “And you look like you need to be asleep yesterday. When was the last time you slept, kid?” 

It was Lloyd’s turn to blush. Even Kai had noticed how exhausted he looked. Had the others picked up on it too? Gods, he hoped not. The last thing he wanted was for them to comment, whether to coddle or tease. “I slept last night,” he grumbled, picking up the tea now that he was certain it was safe. And now that Kai had told him it was lavender, Lloyd recognised the scent, though he hadn’t smelled it in a long time, not since the other boys had torn up the school gardens. 

He took a sip to avoid Kai’s disbelieving eyes. The combined taste was odd upon his tongue, but not bad. Honey would make it better, he thought. Or sugar. Sugar made everything better.

“Uh huh,” Kai said, unamused, as if he had done this time and time again. With Nya, perhaps? “And how long did that last, mister?” 

Lloyd mumbled something not even he could decipher, more of a string of embarrassed sounds than actual words. Then, when Kai didn’t let up, he added, “Jus’ insomnia.” 

Kai pursed his lips. “You and Nya both.” His face shifted into something unfamiliar, then. Almost like pity, but without that patronising tilt to it—and Lloyd doubted Kai would pity his own sister. 

He wasn’t able to place the expression before Kai wiped away that sort-of-pity-but-kinder look. “Drink up,” he urged, beaming when Lloyd took another hearty sip of his tea, his eyelids already beginning to feel pleasantly heavy. “And please don’t tell Nya the secret ingredient. She’s been trying to figure out what it is for years, and if she finds out, she won’t bother coming to me for it anymore—” Kai smacked a hand over his mouth, cheeks igniting again. “I mean, it’s not that I want her to come to me! I don’t like having to take care of her unappreciative—oh shut up,” Kai grumbled when Lloyd burst into giggles, leaning over the table as they consumed him. 

“Softy,” Lloyd murmured sleepily as Kai reached out to pull Lloyd’s mostly-finished tea away from him lest he knock it over. 

Kai leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms and huffed—was that smoke coming from his nostrils? Cool. “Don’t you dare tell her about that either, you little gremlin.” Lloyd giggled again, crossing his arms to rest his head in them when he found he didn’t have the energy to haul himself upright. 

“Fine,” he agreed. “Only if you”—he yawned then, the kind that was loud and long and brought tears to one’s eyes—“If you promise to keep making it for me.” 

Kai’s eyes turned soft, then. He reached out to ruffle Lloyd’s hair affectionately, the normally irritating gesture only making Lloyd sleepier. Had it always felt so nice to have someone touch his hair? “Sure thing, kiddo. Anytime you need it.” 

Lloyd hummed, trying to come up with a rebuttal to the whole kiddo thing; he wasn’t that young. But his eyelids had slipped shut, and he couldn’t seem to lift them…

When Lloyd blinked open bleary eyes again, it was to sunlight streaming into his bedroom. Déjà vu washed over him as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. Had he dreamed the whole thing? He wouldn’t put it past his desperate brain. 

But when he threw the blanket—tucked in around him very neatly—off of him and shifted to get up, he saw the little plate by his bed. Covered by plastic wrap, a single chocolate cookie sat upon the porcelain, no doubt one of Zane’s homemade delights. 

A note was stuck to the plastic. With a curious hum, Lloyd plucked the note from the plate, still rubbing one eye to try and wake himself fully. His hand froze as he read the note, breath catching in his lungs:

Hey, sleepyhead. I thought you might be hungry when you wake up, so I stole one of Zane’s cookies—another secret between us, okay?

(P.S. Sorry for being an idiot.)

-Kai

Lloyd reread the note twice, just in case his eyes were deceiving him. He lowered it to the ground, setting it down reverently. Kai had even added a little flame by his name, making the stupid little note all the more endearing. 

Yesterday had happened, then. It hadn’t been a dream. Kai had really apologised to him, and done all those nice things. And then he had… he had taken him to bed and tucked him in and left him a cookie and a note. Tears pricked at Lloyd’s eyes as he dug into the decadent cookie, though he would deny them to the world. 

The note was tucked away with his precious rocks. 

Chapter Text

The constant thrum of chatter was making Lloyd’s head hurt.

Or maybe that could be attributed to the persistent headache throbbing at his skull for the past few days. Lloyd’s head hurt too much to think about it, but he could see through the fog just enough to note that this was the same twin-spots-on-his-forehead-hating-him headache that had been on and off for the past week. The pain was worse than that in his lower back, and he tried to look on the bright side and appreciate the fact that he hardly noticed that pain over the headache. 

The bright lights of the shopping centre weren’t doing him any favours, but he pushed past the discomfort with childish enthrallment; he had never been on the customer end of the system. Normally, he was on the anxiously-stealing-food-so-he-didn’t-starve-and-getting-chased-out-of-stores-by-furious-owners-wielding-brooms end. This was much nicer, he decided. Less bruises and terror and shame.

“Lloyd, are you listening?” He snapped back to attention, offering Zane a sheepish smile. He couldn’t bring himself to act as he used to around Zane, not when the man was the sole reason Lloyd was no longer going to bed, shivering and hugging his form tightly, with a gapingly empty stomach. 

“I am!” he promised, though the blush blossoming on his cheeks gave him away, the traitorous thing. “A little,” he added, scuffing his shoes on the polished floor of the supermarket. The other Ninja had been sent off in groups of two to tackle their own tasks: gathering tools and materials for repairs on the bounty, and buying new clothes.

(It was Cole and Jay’s turn to splurge their keep on new outfits, it seemed. Lloyd couldn’t imagine what it was like to have more than one outfit; he had never been bold enough to try and steal clothes again after his first attempt had ended up with a nasty kick to the ribs and fist to the gut.)

He and Zane were gathering groceries for the next week, and despite the constant nagging of his head, Lloyd had eagerly agreed when the Ice Ninja had invited him along. Cabin fever had begun to crawl all over him like bull ants, festering beneath his skin like an itch he yearned to scratch. Being trapped was difficult after months out in the open, free to roam as he pleased.

Zane chuckled and nodded. “What is next on the list?” 

Lloyd inspected the terrible chicken scratch writing, scrunching his nose up in disgust. Zane had to have rattled off his list to one of the other Ninja, though Lloyd couldn’t pinpoint who exactly it was that had the writing capabilities of a toddler. He would make fun of them once he did, though. He absentmindedly raised a hand to his head to press over the worst of the pain thrumming through his skull, features compressing into a wince as he did so. “Um. Gai Lan?” 

Zane was quiet. When Lloyd raised his gaze to him, he noticed the other had a thoughtful look on his face. Lloyd’s stomach twisted with nerves. Had he mispronounced the item? Was Zane thinking about how he regretted bringing a nuisance like Lloyd along? Was he going to leave him here? 

Anxiety tumbled into his gut and he swallowed dryly.

“Are you alright?” Zane asked, instead of the millions of terror-fuelled ideas that had popped up in Lloyd’s head. “You keep scratching at your head. Is something wrong?” 

Lloyd bit his cheek to keep himself from reacting. Had he been so obvious about it? “No. ‘m fine,” he muttered, turning his gaze back to the list when Zane’s eyes bore into him. The teachers at Darkley’s had always said he was awful at lying. 

But Zane didn’t press him. “Alright. Gai Lan, here we come!” 

With Zane’s experience and Lloyd’s excited energy, they finished the list early. Too early, as the Bounty wouldn’t be returning to their pick-up point for another twenty minutes. 

Zane eyed off their full trolley thoughtfully. Lloyd waited with anticipation for Zane to announce they missed something and steer them off again—shopping was a lot more fun than he had anticipated. Not to mention, the distraction from his throbbing head would be appreciated. The longer they stood here, halfway down the cereal aisle, the more aware Lloyd became of the throbbing headache. And ow. Was it getting worse? 

Just his luck. 

Zane turned to him, and Lloyd quickly schooled his expression, wiping any sign of pain away. “Is there anything specific you would like? Perhaps a favourite dish we could make for you?” 

Zane’s words were kind, bringing back that warmth to his chest that he was slowly becoming accustomed to the longer he spent on the Bounty. But Lloyd had no favourite dish; how could he, when he had never been graced with delightful meals until now? The slop they had fed him at Darkley’s had been… enough to subsist off of, and once he was kicked out, his only ‘meals’ were the scraps he managed to scrounge up. He enjoyed the meals Zane cooked for the team, but he had a feeling Zane was looking for something new, something different, and Lloyd had nothing to offer up to the table. 

“Um.” He bit his lip, eyes darting away. Scuffing his shoe, he said, “I don’t really know a lot of dishes.”  He kept his eyes on his feet, not wanting to see Zane’s expression; what if he was annoyed? 

But Zane only hummed thoughtfully. When Lloyd risked a glance up, he saw Zane wasn’t looking at him, rather, he had a hand to his chin, lips pursed as he thought. “Well then, how about we try a satay stir fry? It has been quite some time since I have attempted that, and I have a feeling you will enjoy it. You can pick out the protein and vegetables for it,” Zane offered to sweeten the deal, as if the prospect of eating his cooking wasn’t enticing enough. 

“Okay!” Lloyd’s voice was more eager than he would normally allow it to be, but dang it, he needed this distraction, and he adored cooking. Helping Zane choose ingredients would only strengthen his skill, so sue him for being excited. 

Together, they picked out some more vegetables (broccoli, carrot, and beans respectively, even if Lloyd scrunched his nose at the beans) and some egg noodles that Lloyd knew would be delicious once cooked. Excitement thrumming through his veins, golden and warm, Lloyd raced ahead to the meat section, only to pause, uncertain. What would be good in the stir fry? 

“You can choose,” Zane said as he slowed by Lloyd’s side. When Lloyd fidgeted, still unsure as he eyed off all the different meats, and all the different cuts, Zane added, “How about I narrow it down for you? Would you prefer chicken or beef?” 

Lloyd pursed his lips. He hadn’t had beef since… Well, it had been a while. Zane cooked with chicken primarily, and occasionally tofu. 

“Um.” He looked between the two options. Chicken was a safe bet; he knew he enjoyed it. But he wanted to try new things, too. But what if he hated it? Lloyd huffed, hands curling into balls as irritation flooded him, fuelled by the pain in his head and back. 

Noticing his distress, Zane said, “Shall we try beef? A lot of my dishes are made without it, so I think it would be beneficial for you to have some red meat.” To himself, he added, “And your iron levels might be low. Hmm.” 

His what might be what? 

At his confused look, Zane sighed. “It is something very important to your growth. Some of the symptoms of iron deficiency include: fatigue, dizziness, shortness of breath, brittle…” Zane cleared his throat when he saw how Lloyd’s face had paled. “We shall get some beef for you.” 

Lloyd sighed in relief and nodded, some of the tension oozing through his veins at Zane’s words easing. Sure, he experienced some of those symptoms on a daily basis (particularly the fatigue), but hearing about them was different. It made him anxious. 

“Do not worry,” Zane spoke up when Lloyd hesitated by the meat. “We will include more red meat in your diet. You have been getting a moderate amount of iron from those greens I have been forcing you to eat, so you will be okay.” 

A sigh of relief escaped Lloyd and he nodded, snatching up one of the packets of meat when Zane directed him to, dropping it in their trolley. He would be fine—though he wasn’t sure why the possibility of being iron deficient worried him so much when he barely ate enough to survive only a handful of weeks ago. Had he ever really thought about the consequences of his diet, or lack thereof, before? 

“Come,” Zane said, drawing Lloyd from his mind. “We will purchase these now, and we should make it to the drop-off point with a few minutes to spare.” Lloyd dipped his head, wincing when the action brought about a spike of pain needling into his skull.

Zane’s brows furrowed, and Lloyd braced himself for yet another, are you okay?

“Would you like to help me make the stir fry?” Zane asked instead. Lloyd’s eyes widened slightly in surprise—and then farther in anticipation. 

“Yes!” He clenched his fists with excitement. Zane was going to let him cook with him again! They hadn’t cooked together since that first night Zane had made him food; Lloyd had been too nervous to ask, the prospect of rejection too terrifying. He had settled for being grateful for the food. 

But now Zane was offering! 

Zane laughed at his reaction, though the sound held no malice to it, rather a pleasant warmth; fondness. “Then cook together we shall!” he announced, drawing the attention of several onlookers. He ignored them, placing a hand down on Lloyd’s shoulder, whether it was simple physical affection or a need to keep Lloyd close so they wouldn’t be separated, Lloyd wasn’t certain. 

Lloyd found he didn’t care, not when learning to cook was no longer an untouchable dream. After years of trying, of stretching as far as he could, only for the opportunities to remain just out of his grasp, he finally had a chance, and he refused to let it slip away like the others. 

He was going to learn how to cook!

Chapter Text

Nya was so cool. Rather than pick him and Zane up with the Bounty, she had pulled up in a massive motorcycle that couldn’t have been street legal. She had given it some cool, fancy name that had flown over Lloyd’s head, so he had taken to calling it the Street Shredder 9000 as it took to its namesake (or, the namesake he had given it) and tore down the roads of Ninjago City towards the desert. 

Lloyd watched the city as they flew by, catching glimpses of cars in the streets they passed, and crowded footpaths lit by the amber glow of the streetlights above. People still milled about despite the agonisingly late hour, shopping or spending time with friends. It was so different to the dark village alleyways he was used to, where the silence pressed down on him oppressively, reminding him of how alone he was. Lloyd found he couldn’t look away from the sights, from the hundreds of people to the dazzlingly bright stores aglow with neon signs, still open for their night-owl patrons, to the markets set up in one street in particular, smoke wafting from food stalls up into the sky. 

The wondrous sights helped distract him from the worsening headache, but the rumbling seats made his lower back prickle with pain, aggravating the tender flesh and making him grimace, and by the time they stopped by where the Bounty had anchored for the night, pain thrummed up Lloyd’s spine and lanced across his skull, and he wanted to curl up into a ball and hide himself away from the agony. 

When Zane offered him his hand to help him off of the bike, Lloyd wiped away all evidence of pain from his face. To show pain was to invite ridicule back at Darkley’s, but he allowed himself a small smile at Zane’s generosity, taking the man’s hand—only so he wouldn’t fall face-first on the dusty rock, of course! The last thing he wanted was more pain. He wasn’t taking Zane’s offer because he liked him, and was finding the thought of touching him less unappealing as the days went by. Of course not; that would make him even more of a failure to his dad.

The thought left his chest stinging, like that time he had been stung by a hornet when he had fallen from the tree he had been sleeping in, bumping its nest on his way down. He still had the scar from where the thing’s jagged stinger had plunged into his neck, and he rubbed it absentmindedly as if it might remove the pain in his heart as it had once ebbed the sting in his neck. 

“How was that?” Nya asked, a breathless smile on her face and a feral energy to her eyes that told Lloyd she belonged to the road, and vice versa. She had found her calling here. 

“ Amazing,” he said giddily, a toothy grin stretching across his face, both from the memory of the ride, and in relief of the distraction her question gave him. He couldn’t be upset over his father’s ignorance toward him if he didn’t think about it after all! 

Nya beamed wider, reaching out to ruffle his hair as Kai had done the other day. Lloyd pouted as she did so, but he didn’t pull away—her hand soothed the raging pain in his skull, replacing it with that soft fuzzy warm feeling that washed over him whenever someone touched his hair. “There we go,” Nya said, pulling away, much to Lloyd’s dismay—the pain returned immediately, striking his skull like a bolt of lightning and making him wince. “Now it’s neater.” 

Lloyd shot her a deadpan look, knowing his hair was a mess only akin to that of a bird’s nest. Nya only snorted at the look, shaking her head as she opened up the boot of the machine. It was infinitely bigger than a normal motorcycle’s boot would be, due to the size of the vehicle—it was built more like a three-wheeled truck than a motorcycle. Lloyd was grateful for the glass screen protecting them from the wind, if only because it meant his poor mussed up hair wasn’t looking worse . 

Nya began murmuring to Zane as they unpacked the groceries. With their attention off of him, Lloyd had no distraction from the white-hot pain lancing through his skull, and the agony needling his lower back. He shifted in place, wincing when it made his head hurt worse, only to grin quickly when Zane turned to face him, arms laden with their groceries. 

Zane’s expression turned odd again, as it had done earlier. He opened his mouth to say something, no doubt another is everything alright? when Nya interrupted him.

“Alright! Let’s get these inside and get a start on movie night.” Her words still held that manic energy to them. She raced inside, calling for them to hurry up excitedly, high on adrenaline. 

That left Lloyd alone with Zane. Anxiety slammed into him like a fist to the gut, whispering that Zane would demand he open up, that Lloyd should stop being so annoying and tell him what was wrong. And when Zane no doubt tore the truth out of him, he would realise just how much of a bother Lloyd was, and just how little he was worth all of this effort. 

And then he would kick him to the curb right here, slamming the door on his face and leaving Lloyd to walk off, his tail between his legs and his crushed heart left behind to bleed out on the dusty sandstone.

But Zane only said, “Come. Let us get the groceries inside. I do not want you to freeze out here.” Had he mistaken Lloyd’s discomfort for feeling cold? It was better than the alternative, Lloyd supposed, as relief flooded him, leaving him exhausted and drained in the anxiety’s absence. 

He let Zane lead him inside, sighing in relief when the warmth of the Bounty washed over him like the heat from a pleasant fire. With the pain wracking his form, he hadn’t noticed just how cold he was. Maybe Zane’s concern wasn’t quite as misplaced as Lloyd had initially thought. 

The others were already back, if the ruckus exploding from the living room told Lloyd anything. They would need to hurry if they wanted to make it in time for the movie beginning; something told Lloyd the others weren’t exactly the waiting patiently type. 

As Zane began to unpack the first bag, Lloyd watched intently, making a mental note of where everything went for when he and Zane began cooking together. If he did a good job, maybe Zane would want to teach him again! 

He leaned a little farther over the counter when Zane knelt to push away some packets of rice, standing on his tip-toes to see. As Zane ducked his head into the cupboard to rearrange its contents, a sudden crack of pain splintered across Lloyd’s head. His vision turned white and absently, he found himself grateful he had been leaning over the counter, for he was certain he would have dropped to the floor under the sheer agony. His hands clamped down over his head, atop those two nasty spots that had been pestering him all week, and he let out the quietest of whimpers.

Too loud. “Lloyd?” Zane asked, moving back, pulling his head back and out of the cupboard, intent on standing to check up on Lloyd. 

“I’m going to the bathroom!” Lloyd tore out of the room before Zane could see the agony writhing across his body in the way he gritted his teeth, and in the tears building up in his eyes. 

He slipped by the living room unnoticed, hands still atop his head; the Ninja were too busy wrestling over the remote to notice as he scurried past. Darting into the bathroom, Lloyd slammed the door shut behind him and flicked the lock, certain no one would hear the noise over the Ninja’s shouting. 

With a sigh of relief, he leaned back against the door, grinding his teeth until the pain alleviated enough for him to open his eyes. Tears had spilled down his cheeks, and with a soft sniffle, he rubbed them away, pushing off of the old wood to inspect himself in the mirror. With one hand, he pushed back his fringe.

Only to barely bite back a shriek of horror. Those two stupendously tender spots on his head were marked with deep red colouring, as if he had scratched them until they were about ready to bleed—and he was all too familiar with such a thing. A low keen escaped him as he raised his free hand to prod at one of the spots, hissing when fire darted across his skull at the lightest touch. 

A quick check in the mirror confirmed his tailbone to be in a similar state, though the red swelling there looked darker, almost bruised, and he wondered if the bike ride had done damage to it somehow. 

Tears bubbled up, and he slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle the sobs trying to escape him. What was happening to him? Was this some sort of weird illness?

His eyes widened, his stomach dropping. What if he was dying? Was this finally it for him? After all these years of struggling through so many hardships, of barely scraping by and surviving to see the sun again, he was going to die from something as stupid as an illness. Lloyd tried to swallow back the fear, but it clamped down on his throat with a steel grip, snatching the breath from his lungs, leaving him panting and lightheaded. Was this really it? 

A whimper escaped him, vulnerable, weak. He dropped to the floor and curled up into a ball, trembling, as terror and agony fought tooth and nail, each trying to come out on top. What was he going to do? How much longer did he have? The pain was getting worse and worse with each passing day, so he doubted it was long. 

Would anyone even miss him? 

His mind flickered to his father, but that only brought about a stab of pain to his heart, so he dismissed it as quickly as it had come. 

Another thought came to mind. The Ninja. They would miss him, right? They were being kinder to him, and Kai had even called him brother the other day, and none of them had outright told him they hated him, so that had to count for something, right? All the hair ruffles and smiles had to mean something . 

Right?

Hope bloomed in his chest, the feeling so unfamiliar, he was taken aback by it for a moment. The Ninja could help him! He could go now and ask them to fix… whatever this was. Maybe it was some weird thing everyone went through when they were 8, and they would tell him that and laugh at him for being so naïve, and he could laugh off this fear with them. 

Lloyd nodded to himself. He liked that plan. Particularly the part where this was normal and not life-threatening. 

Cautiously, he pulled himself up to his feet, wary of bumping his tailbone, and worried that moving too quickly might aggravate his headache. A quick wash of his face and he looked good as new—or, less like he had just had a minor meltdown in the bathroom. 

The hallways were dim as he made his way through them; someone had turned out the lights in preparation for movie night. How long had he been in the bathroom for? Why hadn’t anyone come to check up on him? 

The door to the living room was wide open, an invitation Lloyd was ready to take. Light from the television poured out into the hallway, a rectangle of fuzzy blue calling out to him. The clashing of swords and shouting of characters on-screen filled his ears, and he grew a little giddy with excitement; this movie sounded fun. Once this was over, he couldn’t wait to dive into it.

Lloyd tip-toed closer, peeking into the room. Maybe he could wave just one of them over and talk to them? It would beat having everyone’s attention on him. Just the thought of such a thing made him shudder; at Darkley’s, having so much attention on him usually meant he was about to receive a beating from the bullies—or busy receiving one.

Inside, the Ninja were piled onto and around the couch, impossibly close to one another. Kai and Nya sat in front of the couch, leaning back into their friends’ legs, a blanket spread out over them as they chatted amicably. Cole, Jay and Zane were crammed together on the cushions, Cole in the middle with his arms around both of them and the most content smile Lloyd had ever seen upon his face. Jay was curled up in his friend’s side, clutching his arm as he cheered for one of the characters fighting on-screen, and even Zane had his head resting against Cole’s shoulder, offering input to Kai and Nya’s conversation, his eyes soft. 

Lloyd’s chest went cold. 

They looked so… happy. So complete. Together, they made up a whole set, a puzzle without a single piece missing. Lloyd had thought maybe he could be a part of it, but he was just a spare piece trying to cram his way into something he would never fit into. 

He didn’t belong with them. It was clear as day. They were just being nice to him because his Uncle was their Sensei and main caregiver, and they had to do what he said. Numbness settled in his chest, buzzing and cold, while his eyes pricked with hot tears. Of course they didn’t care about him. No one did. 

He turned away from the scene, biting down on his lip harshly to keep the tears at bay. They were clearly happier when he wasn’t around—they never looked so at peace when he was around. He wouldn’t bother them with this. It—he—wasn’t worth it.

Lloyd trudged back to his room dejectedly. He felt hollow, like someone had taken a spoon and scooped the life out of him, leaving him achingly empty before he could truly get used to the warmth that had filled his chest. The tears no longer pricked at his eyes, and he couldn’t feel the headache nor backache anymore.

He just felt… empty. 

Lloyd slipped into his cold room, only the shadows for company. At least he knew those would never leave him. He shut the door behind him with a soft click .

And then, as though the simple action had solidified just how cut off he was from those he had thought he could call friends, Lloyd burst into tears. All the stress and hurt and pain from the past week spilled down his cheeks as he fell to the floor, crying out when his aching tailbone met harsh wood. 

He was so stupid. Why had he believed for a second that they would care for him? That they might wish to call him their friend, their… brother. He should know better by now than to believe anyone would care for him in such a way. At best, people only tolerated him.

Why had he let himself believe for a second that someone might care? Why had he tricked himself into thinking that things could get better, that someone might love—

A choked cry escaped him as the pain in his head skyrocketed, his tailbone following closely behind. He fell forward onto his knees, eyes squeezed shut and teeth gritted until a distant part of him worried he might crack them. A low whine escaped him and he gripped his head, fingers tightening in his hair and pulling, a desperate attempt to control the pain piercing his skull and rippling through his spine. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the floor when he couldn’t hold it up any longer.

A warm, sticky liquid trickled between his fingers and he whimpered, panicked breaths escaping him. Was this it? Oh Gods, he was dying! He was dying, and no one would notice, no one would care, and now dizziness was starting to overwhelm him and he couldn’t breathe and he was going to pass—

The pain stopped abruptly. A jolt of surprise ran through him, tearing a soft, confused sound from his lips. Was he… dead? 

No. He could still feel the sticky blood coating his fingers, and the phantom ache in his head and his tailbone, now eerily quiet where they had been screaming for the past week. The absence left him feeling odd, as if his body wasn’t quite his own. 

Tentatively, Lloyd pulled shaking hands away from his head, another surprised sound escaping him when no pain arose at the action—nor did it show any sign of coming back when he gingerly lifted his head from the ground, sitting back on his knees. 

Lloyd took in a deep shaky breath. He was still alive. He was okay. He—

He froze. Something felt… off. His body didn’t feel right, and not because of the sudden absence of pain, but rather… 

Brows furrowing, Lloyd twisted, searching behind him for the root of the odd sensation. With the darkness shrouding the room, he couldn’t quite pinpoint—there! An odd, golden thing resting behind him. It flicked to the left, and as it moved, Lloyd felt…

His eyes widened and the thing flicked again, as if reacting to his nerves. Of course it was reacting to them; it was a tail. His tail.

He had grown a tail. 

Lloyd thought he might faint. 

Cautiously, he staggered to his feet, leaning against the wall when his legs shook with exhaustion. He dragged himself over to the square of moonlight pouring into his room through his window, apprehension puddling in his gut. Surely, he was wrong. 

But when he turned back in the light, he saw the thing, so very obviously a tail, following along behind him. It was thin, with short black hairs covering the length of it bar the end, where a fluff of golden fur a similar colour to his hair stood out like a flame—the odd, golden thing he had spotted earlier in the darkness, though it’s colour was dulled, the fur matted with blood.

Lloyd leaned back against the wall, dazed. He had a tail. He had a tail. His back had been aching all week because a tail was preparing to shoot out from his tailbone. 

Did that mean…?

With shaking hands, he reached up to those two points on his head, parting his hair around them to feel—

Yep. There was something new there. Something that felt suspiciously like two tiny little horns protruding from his skull, their points dull. That would explain the blood and the agonising pain earlier, but…

But what in the Gods’ names was happening to him? As if the kids at Darkley’s hadn’t had enough reason to call him a freak, now he had a tail and horns he had sprouted on top of how much of a failure to his dad he was. 

Oh, Gods, what was wrong with him? Was this some sort of punishment for… for…? Lloyd didn’t know what, couldn’t think when his breaths were coming out as desperate, panicked gasps and his lungs were tightening and he had horns and a tail for the Gods’ sake—

Breathe. 

Lloyd sucked in a breath, smacking a hand over his mouth to try and keep it in his lungs for longer than a millisecond. It was a tactic he had learned years ago, when these stupid attacks began ailing him at Darkley’s—another reason the kids had thought him a freak, for how could he lose control of his breathing like that?

He shook his head to rid himself of the thought, the air fleeing from his lungs in the form of a fragile, shaky breath. 

Do not let the Ninja see you like this, he told himself as he took in another breath, his resolve steeling. As unlikely as it was for them to enter his room, he would not take the risk of them seeing him in the horrendous state he was in, and panicking so badly he had lost control of his breathing. At least he hadn’t passed out this time. 

If they saw him like this… 

Lloyd shook his head again, dislodging the thoughts of razor-sharp steel and the soles of boots aimed his way. They could never know about these new little… things. If they saw his horns and tail, they would know he was some sort of… monster. 

The thought left his gut twisting at the truth behind it; he was a monster now, wasn’t he? No normal kid had horns and a tail and fangs and red eyes, and Gods, they would hunt him if they saw him like this. That was their job, to keep Ninjago safe from freakish monsters like him. 

They would never love him now, and he hated how the realisation was a jagged dagger through his heart. It brought tears to his eyes, and he buried his face in his filthy hands as they spilled over. If he had thought his chances of them caring for him were slim before, then it was certain they would never do so now. 

Gods, he really was destined to be alone.

A soft sob escaped him and he breathed in roughly—only to grimace when the sharp scent of iron flooded his senses. His nose wrinkled in disgust and he tore his hands away from his face. He had never liked the nauseating scent of blood, though it seemed to follow him everywhere—from the times the bullies would shove him around and leave him with bloody scrapes and bleeding noses, to his permanently grazed palms and scratched up wrists, and now his skin splitting to make way for these things.

Shoving aside the urge to wrap his arms around himself, a bleak attempt at comfort from the only person he had left, Lloyd turned away from the window and the silver moonlight pouring in. He needed to clean up, if not because the others could not see him like this, then because the sensation of blood drying on his cheeks and his tail was uncomfortable and itchy. 

So, steeling himself and shoving down every single one of those yucky, nasty emotions until he felt hollow and empty in his chest, a blank slate where colour had been seconds before, Lloyd pressed his ear against his door. Faintly, if he strained his ears, he could hear the soft chatter from the television, accompanied by the sudden laughter of the Ninja and Nya. It was now or never; if he waited too long, they would start to drift out into the other rooms and Lloyd would run into someone for sure. That would be just his luck.

With tentative hands, Lloyd grabbed the tail, a shudder running up his spine as the new appendage adjusted to the sensation of being touched. Gods, was the thing sensitive; it felt like fire was running along the fine hairs of the thing. He took in a deep breath and gritted his teeth against the feeling, then wrapped the tail around his waist, hiding it beneath his hoodie.

Another shudder tore through him as the cold sticky blood clung to his skin. His face twisted, and he clenched his fists to keep from ripping the disgusting thing away from his flesh. Instinctively, the tail wrapped itself tighter around him, and Lloyd paused at the foreign sensation of feeling the thing move , of feeling something that wasn’t quite his yet move. It wasn’t like shifting his arm or shaking his leg—it felt unnatural. 

He prayed it wouldn’t be like this forever. 

After a second’s debate, he pulled his hood up and over his head as well, hopefully hiding all the blood no doubt caking his forehead and maybe his cheeks. It felt like there was blood there, but that might just be tear stains. He wasn’t certain. But he had a feeling Zane might be out looking for him, ready to make good on his promise to ensure that Lloyd ate; the guy had been consistent with it so far, and Lloyd had begun eating three meals a day, lately. He had only eaten breakfast so far, plus that delicious taiyaki Zane had bought him while they had been out—Lloyd had no doubt Zane would be on his tail about eating another meal before bed. Literally. 

Another deep breath to try and soothe the anxiety swelling like a beast in his chest, and then Lloyd cracked open his door. The hallway was still dark, blanketed in shadows, and his stomach did an uncomfortable flip-flop; this reminded him of the days he would try and sneak out to the bathroom at Darkley’s and inevitably wind up attacked sometime on his way back, or the times he had found himself trapped, sleeping in alleyways while who-knew-what lurked within the shadows. He refused to acknowledge the amount of times he had been attacked by a stray cat, or assaulted by some drunk men looking to take out their anger on a poor, defenceless kid. 

Stop thinking about it, he snapped to himself. It had been months ago, and he was fine. He shook his head to dislodge the memories, wincing when the action brought about a nasty twinge in his temples, beneath the tender horns that had sprouted from his skin not even fifteen minutes ago. So now it was hurting again?

Swallowing his nerves, he stepped out into the hallway, refusing to acknowledge the way his legs shook. It was just from exhaustion—he wasn’t scared! Staying close to the wall should his legs suddenly give out, but still wary of smearing blood along it, Lloyd crept down the hallway, back towards the bathroom.

As he inched closer to the living room, needing to pass it in order to get to the bathroom, the sounds of the Ninja’s (and Nya) shouting crashed into his ears like thunder and he scrunched his eyes shut in pain. Curse his overly sensitive ears—they weren’t normally this bad, and he wondered if it had something to do with the whole agonising experience of having horns and a tail sprout from beneath his skin. 

The square of blue light outside the living room appeared as he rounded the corner and he paused, stomach tightening. He needed to get past that room; he couldn’t survive with this disgusting blood all over him, nor could he risk them seeing him like this.

But then, he was risking it now. If one of them were to spot him slipping past, it would all be over. Maybe he should go back to the safety of his room…

But if one of them was out searching for him now, they would no doubt check his room first, and who was to say that they would respect his desire to be left alone? If they decided they wanted to open the door, he wouldn’t be able to stop them, especially in his weakened state. 

Either way, he was screwed. He might as well try and take control of the situation by sneaking past now. 

With that sorted, he steeled his resolve and tip-toed closer to the living room, years of sneaking around leaving his steps silent. Without his boots, and with his hoodie blending seamlessly into the darkness, he was undetectable.

Slowing as he neared the living room door, Lloyd risked a quick peek inside, desperate to know if any of them were lurking between himself and the bathroom, or if he was almost home-free. A relieved sigh escaped his lips when he saw the whole group inside—sans his Uncle, out on yet another mission. The man could probably go up against Lloyd’s mother with how often he left Lloyd alone. 

Lloyd pursed his lips, shoving down that thought and the hurt that arose with it. Giving the occupants of the room his attention again, Lloyd saw they had brought out a board game and were furiously playing against one another—some kind of game with what looked like lots of fake money and loads of tiny plastic replicas of houses. 

His stomach sank as he watched the team bicker and laugh together and he was quick to slip by the room, shoving down any nasty thoughts before they could fully form. He had a mission to complete, and he would not get distracted because he was feeling a little left out. He should be used to that by now anyway!

But despite it all, his heart felt heavy in his chest as he shoved the bathroom door shut behind him, flicking the lock and then double-checking it was locked. A deep breath in to steel himself, and then he turned on the light. Blood stained his hands, dark and red, and he made a face, quick to turn away from the mirror so he wouldn’t have to see the blood all over his face. No, thank you!

He kept his eyes lowered and away from the mirror as he peeled off his hoodie, and then his sticky, gross long-sleeve underneath, stained down the back with blood. That would need to come into the shower with him; he would need to wash it now to avoid any unwanted questions from his Uncle, should the man go to wash said shirt and see all the blood rinse out from the dark fabric. 

A shudder ran up his spine at the thought of that conversation.

The shirt landed in the shower with a splat. Next, he turned on the water, giving it a moment to heat while he triple-checked the door (just in case) and finished undressing, ducking under the stream. The hot water soothed muscles he hadn’t even realised had been so tense, and he let out a sigh of relief, eyes slipping shut.

They stayed shut as he washed away the blood, unwilling to see the water run red, and they stayed shut as he lathered his hair with shampoo, cleaning away the blood and sticky sweat caked upon his scalp. After a moment’s deliberation, he used the shampoo on his tail, too—if he had to deal with the whole having a tail situation, then the damn thing’s fur was going to be as soft as he could make it. No matted, greasy fur here, thank you very much. 

Steam swamped the air as he finally turned the shower off, wringing out his clean(ish) shirt and draping it over the curtain rod for the time being. Once he snuck back into his room, he would hang it out to dry on the coat hanger his Uncle had yet to collect since washing Lloyd’s hoodie. 

In the blink of an eye, he was dry and dressed again, only his hair and the fur on his tail still damp. That felt better. Now, he could finally focus on dealing with… all of this.

Using his towel, he cleared a path along the fogged-up mirror, eyes darting away before he could catch his reflection properly. He set the towel on its rack, and then finally raised his gaze to the mirror again. 

He blinked. 

Then he squinted.

He could barely see the horns resting on his head. They had felt enormous beneath his hands, surely pushing out past his hair and beginning to twist back. But now that he had a proper look, he realised maybe he had exaggerated their size in his panicked state; unless he parted his hair with purpose, he couldn’t see the tiny things at all! 

The realisation tore a relieved half-sigh-half-sob from his lips, and he smacked a hand over his mouth before he could break down. Thank the Gods. It wasn’t nearly as bad as he thought—the Ninja wouldn’t find out he was some sort of monster now!

If the thought that he was a monster had his stomach twisting, then he would disregard the sensation. It was true, and his stupid sensitive brain had better get used to it. 

With a jolt, he realised his tail had begun to swish about cheerfully behind him, reacting to his relief. A sneer twisted his face and he grabbed the thing, stilling it. 

“Don’t,” he hissed at it. He would need to learn to control the damn thing, lest he give himself away when it decided to do its own thing during the day. 

During the day…

Lloyd shuddered, his breath catching in his throat. What was he going to do tomorrow? And the day after that? And… He wasn’t an idiot—he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide this forever. He would mess up eventually, and then that would be it for him here. 

He would be alone again, and this time he wouldn’t even have his dad’s letters to help, because the man didn’t care about him anymore. 

A sniffle escaped him and he scrubbed at his eyes. Why was he always crying? He was meant to be evil! Evil overlords didn’t cry because their dads hated them! And besides, he…

He paused. Did he have the Ninja? He barely had his Uncle; the man was never around, so he wasn’t really sure, but he would wager his Uncle didn’t care much for him. But the Ninja. He had them, right? So long as they never found out about this. 

He swallowed thickly, his eyes beginning to burn ferociously. Did he really have them? Hadn’t they forgotten about his existence the moment he had left the room? They had seemed happier without him earlier…

But Zane had promised he would get him to eat every day! Hope filled him, and Lloyd quickly brushed away the tears before they could fall. Zane had promised to ensure he ate two meals a day; he was probably looking for Lloyd now! And Kai had promised to be a better brother, and Jay had been so kind to him, and Cole had comforted him in his own way, and Nya had made him that tea. 

They cared, right? They would wonder where he had gone. 

But as he made his way back to the living room, tail tucked away in his pants, his hope began to waver. The room was quiet, and the silence left apprehension flooding his senses. 

Peeking inside, Lloyd’s heart dropped and with it his face. The group had turned their movie off now, leaving only dim light from the moon to illuminate the room. The game had been packed away as well, set aside for later.

They were all asleep. Together.

They had forgotten about him. 

Even Zane, who had been so consistent with making sure Lloyd ate, knocking on his door when he refused to leave his room. Even Kai, who had taken to checking up on him these past couple days, a cup of chamomile and lavender in hand to ensure he slept well.

They had forgotten about him.

Lloyd turned away, a bitter chuckle escaping him as the world became blurry. Why had he thought they cared? Why had he let himself sink into such a comfort when he knew—he knew better. Hope only led to devastation. He deserved this. No one cared about him, and the sooner he accepted that as a fact, the better. They were just being polite, why had he thought it was more than that?

He sank into his cold, lonely bed, tail wrapping around his shivering frame. They had forgotten about him…

He was alone.

Chapter Text

“Nephew!” Oh. His Uncle had finally returned from whatever mission he had left to complete. Another point to Wu over Lloyd’s mother. 

Not that Lloyd was keeping score.

Peeling open his tired eyes took more effort than usual, and Lloyd groaned when the brilliant sunlight pierced his skull. Gods, why had his Uncle awoken him just after he had finally managed to drift off? 

He rolled over to face away from the door as his Uncle began to pound on the old wood, arms wrapping tightly around his middle. A wince scrunched up his face when his wrists flared at the action, and he loosened his hold over his middle slightly. Last night had been awful. 

“Lloyd!” His Uncle knocked on the door again, tearing him away from his thoughts before they could tumble back down into the darkness they had been swamped in only a few hours ago. “I would like you in the kitchen within the next five minutes. We have a lot of cleaning ahead of us, and we must all do our part in keeping our home tidy.” 

That was Wu speak for, ‘Get up now or I’ll drag you out myself’. 

Lloyd’s tail twitched irritably, curling around his middle alongside his arms, and Lloyd couldn’t agree with the thing any more. This wasn’t his home, and it wasn’t as if he was running around trashing the place constantly—not anymore at least, not since Kai had scolded him and he had become too anxious to do so. 

But the last thing he wanted was for his Uncle to come into the room and see how much of a mess he was. And if he wasn’t up in the next five minutes, his Uncle would come in himself and drag him out, and then he would see Lloyd’s torn up arms, and his tail still out in the open, and, just because the universe hated him, he would notice his horns too, and then they would throw him out for being a monster, and—

Lloyd shook his head, taking in a deep and shaky breath. He was not going down that train of thought again. Not now, when he had five minutes to piece himself together and haul himself into the kitchen. 

His Uncle wandered off, knowing Lloyd would hear the light threat behind his words. After one final sigh that felt as if it had torn a piece of his soul with it, Lloyd threw his blanket off of his legs and sat up. Dizziness flooded him and he squeezed his eyes shut as the world went fuzzy and black for a long, nauseating moment.

That had been a rookie move. He should know better than to make abrupt movements when he’d had next-to-no sleep the night before.

When his head stopped spinning, settling back on his shoulders like it was meant to, Lloyd hauled himself out of bed, stumbling when his legs felt weak and tired. Traitors. They should be used to rough nights by now, even if last night had an additional traumatic experience on top of it. He was fine! The sooner his body understood that, the better.

After standing in the middle of his room for a long moment, blinking blearily and swaying lightly, Lloyd forced himself up and out of his room. Halfway down the hall, with a jolt of panic that tore him away from sleep’s grip entirely, Lloyd remembered to shove his tail in his pants before anyone saw it. 

At least he was awake now. 

He saw no one on his quick journey to the bathroom, and he couldn’t have been more grateful for small mercies. The thought of the others left his heart squeezing with hurt, and he wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he inevitably met one of them. Should he pretend everything was fine? Lloyd paused in the middle of splashing his face, scrunching up his nose at the thought. He wasn’t going to pretend nothing had happened, that they were friends, and they all cared for one another. They might have been able to fool him earlier, but he wasn’t so naïve any longer. He would take their animosity over fake kindness any day. 

It would hurt less, in the end. 

Flicking the tap off, Lloyd stood in the bathroom, water dripping down from his chin, pattering down onto the porcelain sink. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror, poked at the bags beneath his dull red eyes, prodded the tiny little horns hidden beneath his hair, and felt only revulsion. He turned away from the mirror quickly, shoving his face into his towel to try and distract himself from the awful feeling twisting in his gut. 

Pulling his hood over his head offered a familiar comfort. He knew it was silly, but he felt safer, hidden away in the gift from his father, as if it could protect him. And, if it was all he had left of the man, he would need to treasure it even more, now. It came with the added bonus of hiding his miserable complexion and his horns from the world, so win-win. 

Silently, Lloyd slipped into the kitchen, stomach twisting with something dark and fiery and rotten when he saw that Zane occupied the space. The other was washing up the dishes from breakfast—another meal he had conveniently forgotten to remind Lloyd of in spite of his promise. 

So, Lloyd had been right. They really didn’t care about him. Fine. Whatever. He didn’t care at all.

Crossing his arms, Lloyd made his home in the corner of the kitchen, glaring at the ground while he waited for his Uncle to return and counting the minutes until he could go back to his room. Being alone with only his miserable mind for company was still better than being around liars.

“Oh, Lloyd!” He spared Zane a fleeting glance, more of a reaction to the sudden sound than it was him wanting to look at the man. His eyes dropped back to the floor.

Zane hummed curiously, the sound followed by some rustling that Lloyd could only presume was the sound of Zane drying his hands. The soft patter of footsteps followed, and then the weight of a cool hand was placed over his shoulder. “Lloyd, would—” 

Lloyd flinched away, tearing Zane’s hand from his shoulder. What right did the guy think he had to touch Lloyd after his lies? To get his point across, he glared darkly at the white ninja, daring him to try and touch him again. 

Zane didn’t. He remained in the same position, partially bent over, hand hovering in the air as if taking his title as the ice ninja a little too literally. He shook his head, meeting Lloyd’s eye with a frown. “Is everything—” 

“Man, I can’t believe Sensei has been back for less than a day and he’s already making us clean.” Jay’s voice cut off whatever Zane had planned on saying, drawing the man’s attention away from Lloyd. Finally. 

Lloyd crossed his arms tighter as Zane cast him one final glance, then turned to his friends. His real friends. 

Lloyd glared at the floor, wishing his Uncle would hurry up.

* 

The broom Uncle had given him had to be older than the man was. Its aged wood was cracked and splintering, and every time Lloyd tightened his grip on it, he wound up with a cut on his hand, or a splinter piercing his skin, and then he would have to pause and tear the damn thing out, and he was already so tired, when would this be over? He couldn’t even think straight anymore; all that ran through his mind was angerhidehurtbetrayal, but it was enough to remind him to keep his new oddities hidden, and to stay away from the others, lest they try to deceive him again.

Speaking of, the others were scattered about the Bounty, with Nya down in the engine room, checking up on the machinery. Zane had taken to checking the sails, ensuring a safe and smooth flight, while his Uncle was… somewhere. Cole and Jay were in the next room over, polishing the floor, while he and Kai worked on this room, sweeping in preparation for said polishing. 

And Kai hadn’t stopped yammering on this whole time. Lloyd had tuned him out after the initial shock of being spoken to—something about his successes in the last mission, Lloyd guessed. Why would he give Kai an ounce of his attention when the guy had pretended to like him, pretended they were brothers?

His deceit had hurt the most, when Lloyd had always, always wanted someone to look out for him, deep down. A brother-figure who would always have his back and stick by his side forever where his parents hadn’t. Even now, the thought of his trickery made Lloyd clench his fists tightly over the broom, sweeping harder as he tried to ignore the way his eyes burned. 

An elbow sank into his back and Lloyd yelped, effectively torn out of his own head. He jumped away, instinctively holding his broom up to defend himself from whomever had touched him.

 “Woah, sorry, kiddo,” Kai smiled apologetically, eyes crinkling with that fake warmth. Lloyd didn’t smile back, nor did he respond. 

Kai didn’t seem to notice his irritation, for he chuckled when Lloyd glared at him, reaching out to ruffle his hair like he had after their talk the other day. His hand neared Lloyd’s head, and Lloyd…

Lloyd panicked. Not only was the thought of being touched right now repulsive, but Kai would feel his horns if he touched his head, and then what little Lloyd had left would be over. So Lloyd did the only thing he could think of, the one thing that always came naturally to him when he was under pressure: he bared his teeth and hissed at Kai. 

Kai flinched back in surprise, reflexes kicking in. Then, his face pinched into a stern frown. “Hey! Hissing is not—Where are you going?” 

Lloyd ignored him, throwing the broom to the side and stomping out of the room. He refused to listen to one of Kai’s fake “brotherly” lectures. Just the thought of Kai pretending to care enough to lecture him in such a way sent stabbing pangs through his chest. 

Kai’s footsteps followed behind him, and Lloyd quickened his pace, determined to be anywhere but where the fire ninja was. If he had to hop off the side of the ship and run into the desert to escape him, then so be it. 

Ahead, a door squealed open, Jay and Cole waltzing out, filling the air with their banter. Banter that could easily be mistaken as a fight, if one didn’t know the two well enough. They spread out as they filtered into the hallway, shoving at each other teasingly and forcing Lloyd to jump to the side to avoid colliding with Jay. 

“Oh, shoot! Sorry, Lloyd—” 

Lloyd growled at him, narrowing his eyes to ensure the message was properly received—piss off. 

Jay blinked, brows knitting together with hurt, but then Cole was pushing him aside and behind him protectively, and Lloyd couldn’t see the confusing look anymore; why would Jay be hurt if he didn’t care for Lloyd? What did that look—

No. He shook away the flicker of hope before it could grow into something more. Never again.

“Hey! Don’t be like—Hey, wait!” Lloyd shoved past Cole, dodging the hand trying to latch onto his hoodie. “What the hell, kid?” 

Ducking his head and ignoring the thumping of shoes behind him, Lloyd darted off, panic thrumming in his chest, filling his veins with an urgency to get away . Why were they following him? Why wouldn’t they just leave him to wallow in his misery? 

 Taking the steps up to the deck two at a time, Lloyd’s boots thumped heavily on the old wood, the sound making him wince, his nerves feeling as if they were on fire. Blood rushed to his ears, and he bit down on the urge to whimper. 

Sunlight burned his eyes as he ascended onto the deck and he paused momentarily, blinking away the blinding light when it left him dizzy. Behind him, he could hear the others storming up the steps, snapping something to him, their words muffled with the blood roaring in his ears. He could hear the irritation within them though, and he pushed his exhausted legs onward, desperate to return to the safety of his room. 

Instead, he slammed straight into someone, the force sending him stumbling backwards. 

“Oh, shoot!” A hand latched onto his shoulder, keeping him from tripping over his own two feet. “Sorry, Lloyd. I didn’t see you there,” the soft voice met his ears, low with concern, and Lloyd’s stomach twisted. 

Nya. 

Why did she sound so worried for him? She didn’t care—she couldn’t. Nobody cared about him. 

Her hand tightened, and he became abruptly aware of how warm it was over his thin shoulder. Too warm. Too much. 

With a soft whimper, he blindly smacked her hand away, stepping back and away from her and her overwhelming hands. His vision cleared just in time for him to watch as the concern on her face twisted into annoyance—the only expression he expected from anyone when it came to him. 

Nya put one hand on her hip, the other reaching out to latch onto him before he could run. “That is not okay, mister! Do we need to have a talk about—Ow!” Nya tore her hand away, a thin stream of blood already spilling from the wound circling it. “Did you bite me?” 

Lloyd had. The tang of blood on his tongue left his head dizzy. The action had been instinctive, when her hand had felt like a predator bearing down on him. His fangs had ensured whatever damage done would be enough to keep her from coming close to him again. 

Nya held her hand close to her chest, face scrunched up with fury, but before she could snap at him some more, another voice spoke up.

“Lloyd!” He froze at the fierce voice, so loud it snapped him out of the panicked haze he had been trapped within. The tone had his muscles tensing, that urgency to run filling his veins once more. But his feet were frozen. 

His Uncle stepped up beside Nya, brows furrowed with… it wasn’t anger—Lloyd was very familiar with that look—no; it was disappointment. 

Lloyd’s stomach dropped at the realisation.

“That is enough,” his Uncle said lowly, checking Nya’s hand. Lloyd stood there, rooted to the spot while his Uncle scanned the wound, then patted her hand, promising to patch it up in a moment. When he turned back to Lloyd, his eyes were so full of disappointment, Lloyd felt his stomach twist and his eyes burn with regret—but why was he feeling regret when they were the ones deceiving him? 

“Lloyd, go to your room.” 

Lloyd blinked, stunned. What?

His Uncle sighed. “I will not tolerate this attitude of yours. While you are staying here as my guest, I expect you to treat my family with respect.” His words were like a kick to the gut. He was the guest, not a part of this family. He had known such a thing, but to hear it was like jagged claws scraping open his heart. He swallowed down the pain. 

On either side of his Uncle, the ninja joined him, standing together as if to emphasise that they were family, while Lloyd stood apart from them. Alone.

“You will go to your room and stay there until you wish to behave.” His Uncle didn’t raise his voice, didn’t shout nor adjust his tone in the slightest, but he might as well have slapped Lloyd. He couldn’t be serious, right? He hadn’t done anything wrong! His stupid family was trying to trick Lloyd, they were trying to hurt him; why did Lloyd have to suffer the consequences just because he wasn’t willing to play their game anymore? 

Lloyd’s eyes drifted over the team, heart dropping when half of them refused to look at him, turning away with huffs—those that did narrowed their eyes at him (Cole and Kai), irritated—and Lloyd realised with a jolt that a part of him had still hoped that one of them would defend him, despite his certainty that he was done being deceived, done believing that they cared. A part of him had hoped one of them would realise their mistake the night before and apologise, would push past the walls he had put up to comfort him despite his attempts to push them away.

But he had been right: none of them cared. 

Heart aching, he turned on his heel and stormed away, grateful for his hoodie hiding the tears in his eyes and concealing his shattered heart. None of them called out for him as he disappeared below deck again, and Lloyd had never felt more apart from the world as he did now.

* 

“Nephew?” 

Lloyd ignored his Uncle’s call, curling up tighter, a bitter reflection of that morning—even his tail was wrapped around his middle again. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep, his Uncle would leave him alone and he could complete his task of dissolving into the ship. No one would miss him, so why not?

A long moment passed, and Lloyd wondered if his Uncle had slipped away without his noticing. But then the door creaked open slowly, and he realised with a sinking feeling that the man wasn’t going to let him wallow regardless of whether or not he answered his call. 

Well, Lloyd wasn’t going to acknowledge him. He would keep up the façade of sleep forever, if he could. With his back facing the door, it wouldn’t be hard.

His Uncle sighed, presumably noticing that Lloyd was ‘asleep.’ Lloyd winced at the heavy disappointment weighing down the breath, wondering if he could manage to disappoint the man any further, or if this was as low as he could sink.

The rustling of clothes nearby, followed by the soft clink of something being placed down by his bed. Lloyd’s brow furrowed, confusion tickling his mind. What was that? He couldn’t quite smell anything, when his nose was stuffy and blocked from all the crying he had done earlier, up until he had heard the others return below deck, not ten minutes ago. 

Another sigh escaped his Uncle, making him truly sound his age. “What am I going to do with you?” His words were soft, barely a whisper, but Lloyd still had to bite down on his cheek to hold back a yelp of surprise. 

Surprise that was sucked right back into that sinking black hole filling his chest. He really had pushed his Uncle, his only family left, too far. Maybe the man hadn’t loved him, but he had at least tolerated him. Until now. 

Why did he always ruin everything? 

His Uncle clicked his tongue softly, as if in thought. The rustling picked up again, and Lloyd guessed the man was standing up, his task of placing… whatever he had placed down, complete. Soft steps filled the air, and a bitter sort of hope filled Lloyd’s hollow chest. He would be alone again, thank the Gods. 

But his Uncle paused by the door, and Lloyd imagined he was turning to look back at him. “I wish you were here, Misako,” Wu whispered woefully. “You would know what to do.” Lloyd frowned at the name, so unfamiliar. An old friend of Uncle’s, perhaps? 

With one final sigh, his Uncle slipped out of the room, the door clicking shut behind him. 

Lloyd waited two, three, four long seconds, before he rolled over, coming face-to-face with…

A tray of food? 

Sniffling, he sat up, inspecting the bowl of curry. Alongside it, a cup of tea; green, with wisps of steam curling from its rim. 

Something in his throat tightened, and he turned away from the food. Why was his Uncle feeding him? Had he decided to take pity on the stupid, pathetic kid who had no family left to call his own, and no friends who wanted to stay by his side? 

Shaking his head, he lay back down, curling into a ball again as tears pricked at his eyes. His wrists burned as he wrapped his arms tightly around his middle, the only embrace he would ever receive. 

The food and tea remained untouched behind him. He wasn’t hungry, anyway.

Chapter Text

Midnight came and went, and despite all the crying, despite the exhaustion physically and emotionally, despite everything, Lloyd still couldn’t sleep. With a groan that sounded a little too much like a weak sob for comfort, Lloyd sat up, dragging his hands down his face. 

Why couldn’t he sleep? It wasn’t as if his bed was uncomfortable, and between the blanket and his hoodie (mostly the hoodie) he was pleasantly warm. And yet, he had had better sleeps curled up in a damp and freezing alleyway! 

His brows furrowed in thought at that. How was it that he had managed better sleep when he had been homeless than now, when he had a room to call his own and (usually) food in his belly?

He hummed thoughtfully, something uneasy settling in his gut like a precursor, the clouds rolling in before the storm. Back when he had been homeless, he hadn’t had much, but the one thing he had had was…

That uneasy sinking feeling expanded. 

He’d had a peaceful mind. Back then, he hadn’t been worried about whether other people cared about him; he knew nobody gave a damn about whether he lived or died, save for his father, and he had made peace with it. But now he had had a taste of what love felt like—love that wasn’t in the form of ink on paper, passed to him weeks after it was written, the warmth long-faded. He had experienced tenderness that he had thought none would ever give—or at least, he had believed it to be such a thing. 

And now that that rug had been ripped out from underneath him, his mind had shattered, its scattered fragments leaving him unable to sleep. 

Even before he knew for certain they didn’t care, his mind had teased and taunted him with the possibility, draining him of precious sleep. But now he knew, and he had never felt more lost in his life, more unwanted. 

He couldn’t stay here. If he didn’t go crazy from being trapped in yet another place full of people that hated him, then the significant dent in his sleep—or gaping pit hole, really—would ensure he lost his mind soon enough; he couldn’t do this anymore. Couldn’t be stuck in another place where he wasn’t wanted.

He would rather be alone. At least he could always rely on himself.

With a weary heart, Lloyd stood and packed his meagre things, mind made up. He couldn’t live like this, couldn’t survive another day in this place. He had already subjected himself to almost eight years of misery when he had stayed at Darkley’s, and he wasn’t about to do it again when he had a choice this time. With his experience, he knew he was capable of surviving on his own, knew it was possible. 

It was just a matter of sneaking past a group of expertly trained ninja and their master. 

Packing didn’t take long; Lloyd only had his blanket, his trusty rocks, and the clothes on his back. But as he made his way to the door he paused, turning back to his bed, to where he had hidden the little note Kai had written him, heart twisting with indecision. Kai had lied to him. He had deceived him in the worst way imaginable, had given him hope, and then stomped on it. 

But he still found himself unable to leave the note behind, when it had sparked more warmth within his chest than the stupid blanket his mother had dumped him at Darkley’s with, when it was more than he had received from his dad in months.

Stuffing the damn thing in his pocket, he slipped out of the room, tired eyes scanning the darkness for any movement. Aside from Nya, none of the others had episodes of insomnia—with how often he was awake, Lloyd would have heard them moving about. So long as he was quiet and kept to the shadows, he should be able to make it to the deck without a hitch. 

Normally, he would hear the steady groaning of the ship as it rocked, either on air or water, but with it anchored down on land, it had no reason to move. Tonight, the Bounty was eerily silent, not even Nya up and about, her presence announced by the soft creaking of the floorboards. He supposed a day of doing chores would be exhausting on normal terms, but when his Uncle was in charge… He shuddered. That man could be ruthless. 

Cool air brushed against his skin as he ascended up onto the deck, and he tightened his hold around his bundled-up blanket. He risked a glance back down the dark stairs, a tiny part of him still hopeful someone would be following him, that someone would care enough to worry about what he was doing. 

But no one was there.

Swallowing thickly, Lloyd turned back, kicking aside that stupid hopeful part of him and forging on. He was leaving, and that was final. 

Getting off the Bounty wasn’t as easy as he had thought. The plank hadn’t been set out, and to attempt to do it himself was like begging them to hear him and drag him back inside. So he hopped onto the railing where the ground seemed closest, turning to face the ship and crouching. Gripping the railing tightly, he carefully edged one leg down.

And then slipped, misjudging just how well the others had polished the wooden railings earlier. With a yelp, he hit the ground in a heap, wheezing as the breath was knocked out of his lungs. 

Groaning, Lloyd sat up, his head spinning and his body aching. The fall hadn’t been far , but he was already dizzy with fatigue and hunger, and his head hated him even more now. He remained on the ground for a minute, simply breathing and waiting for his head to settle, when he realised how easy it was to breathe. 

Frowning, Lloyd took in another breath, uninhibited by whatever yuckiness had been clogging up his lungs all day. Gods, he already felt so much better; this had to have been the right decision. Right?

Another deep breath in and he stood, beginning his trek out into the desert in search of some sort of shelter—hiking through the sand during the day was a big no-no. The farther he walked, the more the weight resting upon his lungs alleviated, and the more he could breathe freely. 

But as he put more and more distance between himself and the Bounty, his heart began to sink, further and further, until it felt as if it had replaced the solid weight within his lungs. His eyes stung, but he blamed that on the wind, and not the way his heart felt as if it were splintering. 

Stupid feelings. Why would he be upset about ditching the people who hated him? Had he truly become that attached to them in two short weeks? He groaned and pushed himself farther; this feeling would ease soon. 

Still, he found himself glancing back in the direction of the Bounty, wondering if any of them would care when they found his room empty, come morning. Would they even notice at all?

That thought sent a stab of hurt through his chest, so he pushed it aside and continued on, refusing to look back again.

Finally, cliffs appeared in the distance, bearing the promise of shelter with them, and Lloyd’s diminished hope perked up. For once, he allowed it to thrive, knowing the possibility of a cave was high. Quickening his pace, Lloyd scurried over to the cliffs, pausing only to tear apart a dead shrub, intent on using its wood to build a fire. Nights were always easier when he had a fire, he had quickly learned. 

It didn’t take long to find a cave once he reached the sheer cliff-faces—two towering stretches of land reaching out farther than he could see, divided only by a jagged cut between them; a canyon, leading to who knew where. The first cave Lloyd searched was too shallow, and promised no protection, but the second one he found was perfect, and he wondered if luck was finally on his side for once; it stretched back far enough for the light of his fire to be hidden, and to keep him dry on the unlikely chance it began to pour. 

And, the entrance was small enough to keep most predators out. Those that could fit would have a very angry boy to deal with.

With a grin, he pushed the bundle of sticks in first, and then squeezed inside. Instinctively, his tail curled tighter around his middle as darkness washed over him, unease spilling into his chest. But he wasn’t afraid of the dark! 

Despite the firm resolution, he hurried to kneel in a small patch of moonlight, fishing out his two trusty rocks and lighting one of the branches he had snapped from the dead shrub. Golden light washed over the cave, easing the tension growing in his shoulders. With it came warmth, wrapping around him like a blanket. 

Lloyd gathered up his bundle of wood in one hand and held the torch aloft in the other as he made his way farther into the cave, past dripping stalactites and weird, luminescent mushrooms that shied away from the light. After so long inside the crowded, rowdy Bounty, the silence rang eerily in his ears, and he hurried along, eager to set up his fire so he wouldn’t have to listen to the drip-dripping of water and the pattering of his boots echoing along the walls. The gentle crackling of fire had always soothed him.

Finally, the shadows ahead of him gave way to the end of the cave, golden light pouring over the dull grey expanse. Before long, Lloyd had his little fire set up, the light now billowing across his makeshift camp for the night and setting it awash with warmth. 

Thank the gods. Had the dark always made him so…uneasy? 

Something chittered nearby, and Lloyd let out an undignified yelp, scrambling away from where the noise had originated from with wide eyes. He scanned the cave warily, only for heat to rise up his neck when he saw it was only a tiny cave mouse, coming to inspect the sudden light. 

Coward.

Lloyd settled back against the wall uneasily, eyes darting about with every drop of water against rock, every whisper of the breeze outside crawling down the neck of the cave. The shadows cast along the walls by the flickering flames had him flinching, terrified someone or something had followed him, and—

Gods, he was scared. He had gotten a taste of safety on the Bounty, and now he wasn’t sure he could handle surviving on his own again. But he couldn’t go back. They didn’t want him; no one did. 

Rocks tumbled down from the wall nearby and he whimpered, throwing his hands over his head protectively as he used to back at Darkley’s, his form shaking like a leaf. He wanted to go back to the Bounty. He wanted to go back to before, when he was alone and happy and not scared of anything and he had his—

His dad. 

He wanted his dad. 

Tears bubbled up in his eyes, his chest aching deeply with an agonising longing for the man he hadn’t even met. A weak sob escaped him. He had thought he couldn’t sink any further, and yet here, in this cave, he had never felt more alone, and more unwanted. 

“D—dad.” His voice was weak, and cracked pathetically. The shadows wavered around him, as if to mock him. He didn’t care. He was alone; he could allow himself this moment of weakness, and then he would pick himself back up and keep going, as he always did. “Dad, I need—” his breath hitched, cutting off his words. 

“I—I wan’ my dad,” he whimpered, curling up tighter as the sobs building up in his chest threatened to tear him apart.

“Lloyd?” 

Lloyd flinched, his back smacking against the wall as he snapped his head up in alarm, only to see—

A… shadow? 

The shadow moved, and Lloyd realised with a start that it was the shadow of a person. His breath caught in his throat, fear paralysing him. Gods, this was it. He was going to die alone in this cave and no one would ever know. No one would even care.

“Son, what are you doing up so late?” The shadow looked around, then added, “And, where are you?” 

The terror in his chest was washed away by confusion. Son? It… it couldn’t be. 

“Dad?” he whispered, as if speaking the word too loudly would shatter this illusion, and he would realise he was only having some kind of exhaustion-induced hallucination. 

But then the shadow dipped its head, stepping closer, and Lloyd realised with a start that it wasn’t quite a normal shadow, but rather a figure made of shadows. “It is I, son,” the shadow—his dad—announced. Then, in a softer voice, heavy with concern, “What are you doing out here by yourself?” 

And Lloyd burst into tears. 

Faintly, beyond the heavy sound of his sobbing, he heard his dad let out a panicked sound, though he couldn’t think about what that meant, couldn’t think at all when his brain felt as if it was in shambles. His chest heaved painfully, and he could barely breathe, but he couldn’t care less; his dad was here . His dad was here, and he sounded worried for him, sounded as if he still cared. 

Gods, he hadn’t realised how badly he had needed someone to care about him. 

Lloyd jumped when the faint impression of a hand was placed upon his head, momentarily silenced. It was like when Kai had ruffled his hair, but less… there. Real, but at the same time leaving him wondering if he was imagining it. The hand began to run its fingers through his hair, the sensation similar to the breeze brushing over him, and he realised with a start that his dad was trying to comfort him. 

That realisation brought about a fresh wave of tears, and he shuddered as it washed over him. The fingers running through his hair didn’t slow, nor hesitate; they remained a steady reassurance through the turbulent emotions. When his sobs settled down into soft sniffles, and he could breathe properly again, he began to make out gentle murmurs from his dad. Comforting murmurs. 

Had he not already cried himself dry, he might have burst into tears again. 

When he finally quieted, his dad asked, “What’s wrong, my dear heart?” 

Fuzzy warmth flooded Lloyd at the pet name. Dear heart. “Missed you,” he murmured, wishing his dad could be here properly, if only so Lloyd could cling to him like he desperately wished to. “Haven’ heard from you ‘n ages.” He sniffled, using his sleeve to wipe at his nose. 

A surprised sound escaped his dad, and Lloyd looked up, confused. “I sent you a letter only last week,” his dad said, and Lloyd imagined his brows were furrowing. 

Last week? But… “I haven’t gotten one in months.” Lloyd tilted his head suspiciously. What if this was some sort of trick, some kind of magic twisting the shadows to deceive him with a facsimile of his father? 

But rather than try and insist that he had like a fake would, his dad only hummed in thought, a shadowed hand moving to his chin. 

“The last one I got was the one about the two skeletons turning themselves into an ice-cream machine,” Lloyd said with a chuckle. He still read it sometimes. “I wrote back, and the postman told me a different skeleton took it,” he tried. After a month of radio-silence from his father, he had double-checked with the postman, ensuring his dad had actually received the letter. And it seemed as if he had, even if a different skeleton had to deliver it, but no mail had come back in return. 

His dad let out a growl and Lloyd flinched away, terrified he had said something wrong and lost his father’s love already. But his dad let out a curse and apologised, patting his head reassuringly. “I had to hire a new assistant after Sibily had an accident.” His dad paused there, though Lloyd wasn’t certain if it was in respect for the lost skeleton, or if he was recalling the incident. “I guess the new bas—useless assistant I hired hasn’t been doing its job correctly.” He followed his words with another growl, and a barely decipherable I’m going to kill that rat. “I’m sorry, dear heart. I hope you weren’t worried.” 

Lloyd looked down at that, ashamed at how quickly he had fallen into the belief that his dad no longer cared for him. Why hadn’t he stopped to think about what else might have caused the lack of letters? 

“Son?” 

Heat rose to Lloyd’s cheeks. “I just… I thought you didn’t…” His heart twisted, and he shook his head. He didn’t want to think about it anymore, not when it hurt so bad. 

His dad was quick to shake his head, and had it not been for his lack of a physical body, Lloyd had a feeling he would have embraced him. “Never, my dear heart.” 

A heavy weight fell from Lloyd’s shoulders and he slumped in relief. His dad cared about him. Somebody in this cruel world still loved him. With a sniffle, he nodded. 

They lapsed into silence, Lloyd simply basking in his father’s presence, while his dad continued to run his fingers through Lloyd’s hair, right behind…

Lloyd’s heart sank abruptly, and he slumped. His dad picked up on the change in mood, and asked, “Is something the matter?” 

Gods, he hadn’t wanted to do this… ever, really. But his dad was here, and he promised he would never stop caring. And, maybe his dad would know why Lloyd had abruptly grown horns and a tail. He was old—Lloyd’s Uncle was the younger sibling, and he looked ancient—so he had to know what this meant, right? Why this had happened to him? 

Lloyd clung to that hope, holding it closely to his chest as he shifted away from his dad to look him head-on. Or… as close to such a thing as one could do with a figure literally carved from shadows.

“I… I need to show you something.” Something that might lose him the love of the only person left in the world who cared. But he couldn’t hide this from his dad forever. 

The shadow’s head tilted slightly, and he gestured with his hand for Lloyd to go on.

Lloyd took a deep breath in and stood, then he carefully unwound his tail from where it was hidden around his middle, beneath his hoodie. The thing shook as he moved it, like a newborn attempting to get used to their flailing limbs, but he paid it no attention, focussed on moving a hand to his head to push back his hair, revealing the tiny horns protruding from his skull.

A second passed in silence. Then, two, and three. Then his dad said, “Oh. They are… smaller than I thought they would be.” 

Lloyd blinked, frozen in surprise as his dad leaned closer to inspect the horns, then took the tail in a hand, searching the fluffy end for… something. Smaller?

He voiced his confusion.

“Well, after years, they should be almost fully grown—see?” His dad stepped back, the shadows coalescing around him into—

Lloyd gasped, his eyes widening. Atop his dad’s head, the shadows coiled into two horns, twisting high in the air, tall and proud. Behind him, a thin tail whipped about, longer than he was tall, with a jagged point on the end.

His dad was like him! Lloyd wasn’t some sort of freak of nature; this was normal. He could have cried with relief, had it not been for one thing nagging at him. 

“Years?” 

His dad nodded, leaning closer to push Lloyd’s hair aside again. “Yes. They would have grown in around the time you were three, as they did for me. By now, you should have your own stunning set of horns.” He stood back, raising a hand to his chin, and Lloyd imagined behind the shadows he was smirking. Lloyd snickered, but it was only a half-hearted sound, his mind distracted.

“They didn’t grow in that early,” he confessed, wincing when his dad’s head snapped back to him. He imagined his eyes did too, though he couldn’t quite tell, what with the whole being-a-shadow situation. “They only came in a couple days ago, after about a week of aches.” 

His dad inhaled sharply, and Lloyd shrunk back. Had he messed up somehow? But his dad didn’t snap at him, didn’t call him useless and walk away. He only leaned closer again to inspect the horn on the left side of his head. When his dad ran his thumb over the tiny bump, Lloyd winced, the thing still tender and sore, and his dad pulled away as if his hand had been burned. 

“They should have grown in much earlier,” his father murmured, seemingly to himself. “The only reason I can think of for such a delay is… If they did not feel safe enough to grow; if you were not safe.” He turned back to Lloyd sharply, and Lloyd paled. “Son?” 

Under his gaze, Lloyd fidgeted. He had never wanted to admit to his father that he hadn’t been good enough to survive at Darkley’s, the school for bad boys. He hadn’t been evil enough, and his dad was going to be so disappointed when he found out. And, what if his dad hated him when he heard Lloyd had been staying with his Uncle, and with the Ninja, his dad’s enemies? 

But Lloyd couldn’t get out of this, not when his dad was here, and determined. And Lloyd had never been the best liar. 

So he sighed, and admitted the truth. “They… they started growing in about a week after,” he hesitated, but a concerned nod from his dad had him blurting out the rest. “After Uncle took me in and the, the Ninja made sure I was eating properly.” The words felt like gravel upon his tongue, when the thought of those faking liars left his heart panging. 

His dad stared at him for a long moment, and Lloyd wondered if his face was twisting with fury behind the shadowy mask. Probably. Definitely. 

Lloyd wanted to sink into the earth. 

“What do you mean, ‘took you in’”? His dad asked, rather than snap at him. “Where is Misako? And why weren’t you eating?” His voice grew more frantic as he continued, and Lloyd realised with a start that maybe, maybe, his father wasn’t furious with him for being with the Ninja up until a few hours ago.

But then his father’s words sank in and he frowned. Misako . That name again. But who were they? 

“Misako?” he asked, electing to ignore the questions of his homelessness, and his malnutrition. 

Was it possible for shadows to pale? “Your mother, Lloyd. Where is she?” 

Oh. Oh. His… mother. His dad didn’t know about her, about what she had done. Of course, he didn’t; how could he, when he had been trapped in the Shadow Realm since before Lloyd could remember? 

He shrugged, averting his gaze. “Dunno,” he mumbled, the words beginning to tumble out of his mouth, as they had when he had opened up to Kai.

Don’t think about that.

“She dumped me at Darkley’s and ran off, and then they…” He faltered when his dad gasped in horror. Stupid. If Kai had been upset by his story, then of course his dad would be mortified. Why hadn’t he just shut his mouth? 

“They what?” his dad demanded. 

Reluctantly, Lloyd said, “They… kicked me out a few months ago.” Longer than that, but his dad didn’t need to know that. He also didn’t need to know why they kicked him out. Just the thought of his dad knowing he wasn’t evil sent shivers down his spine.

“They kicked a child out of their school? Did they even contact Misako?” his dad demanded, and despite knowing his father wasn’t furious with him, Lloyd still edged away uneasily. “Lloyd, why did you never mention this?” He asked, his voice softer. 

Despite the gentle tone, his words felt like knives through Lloyd’s gut, and he looked away. 

“You had to have been kicked out while we were still conversing via letter… Why did you never tell me you were homeless, son? Did you… did you think I would not do my best to help you?” 

Lloyd inhaled sharply, eyes snapping back to meet the shadow-form of his father. “No! No, of course not,” he assured him. Not once had he thought his father wouldn’t care enough to help him out, back then. “It was just…” His lips thinned and he looked away, ashamed. Gods, his dad was going to be so disappointed in him. 

“Go on, son.” No longer dear heart. Already, that love was waning. Might as well make it official then. 

“They… they kicked me out because I wasn’t evil enough.” There. It was out, even if the words tasted like bitter coffee grounds. 

His dad growled at that, and Lloyd’s stomach dropped. It really was happening. He was going to be alone again. Tears pricked at his eyes, but before they could fall, his dad asked, “But, why did you not tell me?” 

Lloyd blinked. Wasn’t that enough? Why would his dad care about the why, when he now knew Lloyd was a complete and utter failure to him? He would never be the next Evil Overlord after his dad; wasn’t that enough reason to ditch him? 

Maybe he wanted to hear Lloyd say it, that he was a failure. If that was what he wanted, then so be it; it would help to get it off of his chest, anyway. “Because I didn’t want you to be disappointed once you realised how much of a failure I am to you,” Lloyd spat. “As soon as you knew how worthl—” 

“Son, stop .” Lloyd’s mouth snapped shut. His stomach twisted when he felt the pure fury radiating from his father. A shadow couldn’t hurt him, right? 

“Do you truly believe I would be disappointed in you over such a thing? That I would consider you a…?” His father didn’t finish his sentence, his voice cracking. 

Lloyd suddenly didn’t feel so sure. “Yeah?” he said hesitantly, uncertainly. He was a failure to his father. It was simply a fact of the world, like saying the leaves were green, or the sky was blue. 

But his father let out a sad noise, stepping closer and crouching before him once more, shaking his head. “No, never. You could never be a failure to me, dear heart. Who told you such a thing?” 

Dear heart? He… still cared for Lloyd despite knowing he wasn’t evil? Why? Everyone had told him his father would hate him the moment he found out how pathetic Lloyd was. Why didn’t his dad hate him?

He didn’t understand, but…

“I… my teachers, and the other kids—and they’re right! I tried, but I can’t be evil like you. I, it…” He grimaced and lowered his gaze with shame. Surely, his dad would understand now. 

“Lloyd, I never wanted you to follow in my footsteps.” 

Lloyd inhaled sharply, head snapping back up. “What? But…” 

His dad shook his head. “ Never. If you truly wanted to be the next evil overlord, then I would support you, of course. But I wanted you to have what I never did: the chance to choose your own path.”

Confusion clouded Lloyd’s mind. “But, I—” 

“You are not a failure to me, son.” His dad’s voice was firm, leaving no room for debate, and Lloyd’s throat grew tight. “You are my pride and joy, Lloyd, and I will love you for as long as I have breath in my body. The only thing I want for you is to be happy and healthy, and if staying with my brother and his pupils helps you achieve that, then so be it.” Lloyd swallowed thickly and nodded, desperately trying to keep the tears from his eyes. 

But his dad wasn’t done yet.

A hand touched his cheek, and Lloyd instinctively knew his father was smiling at him, even if the shadow had no expression. “I will always be proud of you, my dear son. Even if all you ever succeed at is existing, my love for you will never waver.” 

Lloyd had thought he had no more tears left to give, but still, more trickled down his cheeks as he nodded, hot and sticky. His father sighed, the sound concerned, yet fond, and wiped away the tears as best as he could. “I love you too,” Lloyd croaked out, grimacing at the sound of his own voice, so raw and weak. “I wish you were here,” he said as an afterthought. If his dad was really, truly here, then Lloyd would be able to properly see him, be able to hug him. 

His dad sighed, pulling back. “I do too,” he said forlornly. Then, as if something had occurred to him, he looked around, scanning his surroundings. “Where is here? You said you were staying with my brother, and I am under the impression they live in some sort of flying ship.” 

Lloyd paled, eyes darting away as nerves filled his veins. He hadn’t expected his father to ask about his current predicament, hadn’t even expected him to stay this long once he realised why Lloyd had been kicked out of Darkley’s. “It… um…” 

His father reached out, as if to tuck a lock of hair behind his ear, but hesitated. His hand fell back to his side, and Lloyd wished they had had more time together so his dad wouldn’t feel so uncertain around him. “What is going on, dear heart? Why are you not with them?” 

Lloyd bit his lip, but he knew he couldn’t keep this from his father. His dad cared, and Lloyd felt he wasn’t the type of person to give in easily when he wanted information. “They didn’t want me,” he said softly, his heart twisting in his chest at the confession. He knew it to be the truth, but it still hurt to say aloud. 

“Did they kick you out too?” his father demanded. “Oh, when I get my hands on my brother.” 

“No!” Lloyd was quick to assure him. That misunderstanding could be deadly, and as much as he hated how the Ninja had deceived him, they had still wormed their way into his heart, and he couldn’t bear for them to suffer his father’s wrath. Stupid feelings. “They didn’t kick me out, they just…” Gods, his father was staring at him now. He couldn’t make out his expression—shadows had no face—but he was certain it wasn’t good. “They hated me, I know they did. So, I left.” 

His dad was silent for a long while, and Lloyd settled back down against the wall, letting his tired legs splay out before him to rest. His head was starting to feel all kinds of fuzzy, and standing wasn’t doing him any favours. Besides, the fire was here, and it was so nice and warm…

“Are you sure?” 

Lloyd jumped, blinking awake. Alarm shot through his stomach like needles; how could he have almost fallen asleep when his dad was here? He couldn’t risk losing any time with the man, when he had never had it before. It was too important to him, and what if he never saw him again after this? 

“What?” he asked, rubbing his eyes, determined to stay awake. How was it he couldn’t fall asleep when he desperately wished to, but the moment he wanted to stay awake, he was suddenly having trouble? 

“Well, you told me they took you in, and made sure you were eating, correct?” Lloyd dipped his head. Out of pity, no doubt. “Why would they do that if they hated you, my heart? Why would they make you feel so safe that this side of you”—his dad gestured to his tail, and then his head—“would flourish?” 

“I… They…” Why would they? If they truly hated him, then… why would Zane have bothered ensuring he ate? Why would Kai and Nya tuck him into bed? Why would Jay and Cole try and comfort him, and why would Uncle read him bedtime stories? 

Lloyd rubbed at his head, his skull feeling ready to explode. His mind kept trying to convince him that they had to hate him; everyone did, after all. But his dad’s words rang true—it made no sense for them to be so kind to him if they truly did hate him… 

His dad sighed, settling down next to him. “What makes you believe they hate you, son?” 

Lloyd pulled his legs to his chest, holding them tight. He buried his face in his knees, muffling his voice as he said, “Everyone else does. They were being nice to me, but then they broke their promises, just like the others kids at school…” Brad had promised to be his friend forever, and now look at them. Gene had promised to never tease him, and what had he done not an hour later? Pythor promised to stay by his side, and he had thrown Lloyd under the bus the second he got the chance. 

Just the thought of the snake sent a shiver down his spine. Don’t think about him.

“Did they break them on purpose?” Lloyd blinked. The kids at Darkley’s had certainly broken their promises on purpose—in fact, he was sure they had made them solely to break them. Pythor had only made his promise to use him. But the Ninja hadn’t tried to rub it in his face as Gene had, nor had they been so dismissive of him as Pythor had always been, and they had nothing to gain from giving him the time of day.

He pushed his face farther into his knees. He was so confused.

“Son, you cannot expect everyone to be perfect; to do so is to ensure you will be disappointed.” Lloyd nodded glumly. Maybe his dad had a point. “People are flawed, and they tend to forget—that is when you have to remind them. I can see the children and teachers at that school hurt you, but you need to understand that not everyone is like that—there is good in this world, my dear heart.” His father chuckled, then. “I know that must sound funny, coming from me of all people.”  

Lloyd sniffled, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve. His dad was right, but… “They wouldn’t want me back now, anyway,” he mumbled miserably. He had finally found a group of people willing to love him, and he had gone and ruined it for himself. Gods, he was awful. 

“Why not? How could anyone not want you?” his dad asked, voice turning fond. This time, when he reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind Lloyd’s ear, he didn’t hesitate. Lloyd leaned into the feather-light touch, wishing his father could be here physically. 

“I got upset,” Lloyd said. “I, I was so mean to them, and they all looked so mad the last time I saw them, even Uncle.” Just the thought of their furious faces made him shudder. They had to hate him now, and he doubted they would ever want him back. He would never be a part of his Uncle’s real family—the only family he would ever have was right here, and he should be grateful for it. 

Lloyd jumped when his dad’s tail curled around him, but when he glanced over at his dad, the man didn’t even seem to realise he was doing it. The tail twined around his own comfortingly, and again, Lloyd wished his dad was really here so he could lean into him—if he tried now, he had no doubt he would fall and eat dirt. 

“Son,” his dad began, drawing Lloyd’s attention back to him. “It is okay to make mistakes. You are young; you should be making mistakes. How else do you expect to learn?” 

“This was a bad mistake, though.” 

His father hummed, turning his gaze to the cave wall. “I, too, have made many bad mistakes. But what matters most is not the mistake itself, but whether or not you own up to your actions and make things right.” 

“I guess so…” He knew so. His father was right. But the thought of going back to their hate-filled faces left him shivering. 

His dad was staring at him again, head tilted in that way Lloyd now knew meant his expression was fond. “You are a good boy, son. I will not force you to go back if it is not what you wish, but I feel if you do not, you will regret it.” 

Lloyd sighed, and nodded. “I know. I’ll… I’ll try.” 

“Us Garmadons do not give up easily,” his father said with an approving nod. “Go back and apologise. Talk to them, and I am certain you will be able to make good friends of them—even if it pains me to speak so kindly of my enemies,” he added with a shake of his head. Lloyd snickered, and his father nudged him affectionately.

“I’ll do”—Lloyd broke off to yawn loudly—“I’ll do my best,” he promised, blinking blearily. The fire was so warm, and his dad’s presence so comforting. He wanted to bury his face farther into his knees and doze off. 

“You look tired, son,” his father commented, and Lloyd groaned. 

“’m fine,” he whined, then yawned again. Curse his traitorous body. 

His father hummed disbelievingly. “You should get some rest. It is late. Very late.” 

Lloyd huffed. Maybe he should sleep while his body was allowing it. But then, he still had so many questions for his dad: why did they have horns and a tail when no one else did? Why had he appeared suddenly when Lloyd needed him most? Why hadn’t he visited like this before? Why…

Lloyd’s eyes slipped shut, and he heard his father chuckle, then felt something soft slip over his shoulders. Blearily, he cracked open an eye, saw the faded blue of his blanket, and smiled.

“Sleep, my dear heart. I will stay with you for as long as I can.” 

Lloyd closed his eyes again with a barely-there noise of affirmation, too exhausted to argue. With his dad by his side, Lloyd finally drifted off, their tails still twined together.

Chapter Text

The late-afternoon sun bore down on him, determined to burn him to a crisp so the desert could claim him as its own. Lloyd refused to give in easily, but Gods, could he go for a drink of water. Or perhaps a hoodie that wasn’t so dark and set on absorbing every drop of heat the sun radiated. He could take it off for some relief, but then his skin would end up burned, and he refused to look like a freshly boiled lobster when he eventually found the Bounty again.

If he was headed in the right direction.

If his dad hadn’t been wrong, and they hadn’t rejoiced upon seeing him gone and flown off. 

Lloyd shook his head, scattering the thoughts. He couldn’t know for sure until he made his way back to where the Bounty had landed. If they truly did hate him, and they had flown the coop already, well… he would cross that bridge when—if he got to it. 

At least he had managed decent sleep. His head finally felt connected to his body again, after he had conked out for well over twelve hours—a new record for him. Everything felt so much sharper, including the stiffness and aches he received as thanks from his body for falling asleep in such an awkward position. 

But that also meant his emotions were so much more real, in comparison to the sludge they had felt like yesterday. The guilt was so much more real, so much more agonising. The guilt, coupled with the overwhelming longing for his father, gone too soon, left him clutching his middle, desperately trying to soothe his ailing heart. His tail trailed along behind him, fluffy end dragging through the sand. 

He had spent over an hour with his dad last night, and yet he already missed him so dearly. 

Not much later, when his legs were starting to feel like jelly and his muscles as if they had been set on fire, Lloyd saw something in the distance: the tiniest pinprick of black, settled upon the horizon, standing out against the endless sea of yellow. Squinting, he raised a hand to his forehead, protecting his eyes from the sun as he tried to make out what that tiny spot was—only to realise it was growing at an alarming rate. 

His eyes widened. Someone was coming toward him. Someone, or something. Something loud. Familiar…

His eyes widened and he hastily shoved his tail into his pants, making a face when sand tumbled down his pant leg. He could recognise that sound anywhere despite having only heard it a handful of times; it was Cole’s elemental bike, its rumble equivalent to an earthquake, a volcanic eruption. He had never heard a vehicle as loud as Cole’s bike, and as it forged on toward him, he clamped his hands down over his sensitive ears in preparation for its arrival. The first time Cole had used it near him, it had felt as if a bomb had gone off in his ears—sometimes, if he listened closely enough, he swore he could still hear it ringing in his ears.

But Cole dismounted before the noise could truly wash over Lloyd, the bike vanishing in a flash of bright light. Lloyd raised his arms to shield his eyes, wincing when white spots dotted his vision. Did their elemental vehicles have to be so excessive? 

And they called him extra for dressing in all black.

When his vision cleared enough for him to lower his arms, he was granted a moment of warning before Cole crashed into him. For a split-second, paralysing terror washed over him, teasing him with the possibility that Cole had tracked him down, determined to tear him apart for the way he had acted. 

But then Cole’s arms wrapped around him and lifted him from the ground, pulling Lloyd close, pulling Lloyd into an embrace, and he realised his dad had been right. Cole’s tight hug spoke of panic and concern, of overwhelming relief, and Lloyd had never been more grateful for being wrong in his life. Especially since it meant getting his first hug in who knew how long—his whole life, maybe. And Gods, his teachers had been wrong; hugs felt amazing, and he couldn’t care less if they were a ‘sign of weakness,’ or whatever. They were so warm, but not in the way the sun was. This warmed him down deep in his hurting soul, and the weight of Cole’s arms around him was so comforting, he felt as if he could fall asleep right here. 

Cole gasped then, his tight hold on Lloyd faltering, and Lloyd’s stomach dropped. “Oh, shoot. Sorry, Lloyd.” He loosened his hold more, intent on putting Lloyd down. But Lloyd was not giving up his first hug so easily. “I forgot you don’t like…” Cole trailed off as Lloyd returned the gesture fiercely, arms wrapping around Cole’s neck and refusing to let go. Hesitantly, Cole tightened his hold again, adjusting his grip so he could comfortably hold Lloyd up against him. “Huh,” he mumbled, more to himself than to Lloyd.

They were quiet for a long moment, and Lloyd dared to let himself think they could stay like this forever. But of course, the questions inevitably came.

“What happened, Lloyd?” Cole asked. “Zane went to check up on you this morning and you were gone, and we weren’t sure if someone had taken you while we slept, or…” Cole trailed off, tone light and encouraging, as if he hoped Lloyd would fill in the blanks for him. 

Lloyd did not want to do that. Not now, at least. Not ever, if he could get his way. 

“You don’t seem to be hurt,” Cole continued thoughtfully, beginning to walk back in presumably the direction of the Bounty. Maybe they were closer than Lloyd had thought. Or maybe, Cole didn’t want to let him go to summon his bike. Maybe Cole was as reluctant to leave the embrace as Lloyd was. “But if you weren’t taken, then that could only mean… Did you leave on your own?” 

Instinctively, Lloyd’s arms tightened around Cole as the guy began to pick apart the truth. The truth Lloyd didn’t want to ever come to light. 

Cole sighed, noticing the slight shift. Of course, he had; he was a ninja, trained to notice even the tiniest of things. “I know you don’t wanna talk about this, bud, but we can’t pretend it didn’t happen.” 

“Jus’ went for a walk an’ got lost,” Lloyd mumbled. He knew he would have to tell the truth eventually, and that he had many apologies to give. But right here, right now, he just wanted to sink into Cole’s arms and quietly exist for a bit. 

Cole seemed to sense that, for he hummed disbelievingly, but said no more. They continued on their way back to the Bounty, back home, where more questions awaited Lloyd. 

All he could do was cling to Cole and try to mentally prepare himself. 

*

Lloyd barely had enough time to chug the glass of water Cole had grabbed for him before the others were pouring into the room, presumably contacted by Cole the moment he had set Lloyd down. 

As a group, they entered, shoving at one another as if the necessity to see Lloyd had overtaken any rational thought. And as a group, they all froze in the doorway, clustered together with wide eyes, taking Lloyd in in all his filthy, exhausted glory. 

Then, as a group, they all began talking at once, dozens of different questions crashing into Lloyd, who, for a moment, wondered if coming back had maybe been a mistake. Their voices collided with one another, getting louder and louder until Lloyd was backing away, barely repressing the urge to slam his hands over his ears because his teachers had told him to listen or else, but they were so loud. 

“Where were you?” one asked.

“What happened?” another demanded.

“Are you hurt?” 

“Where did you go?”

“What were you thinking?”  

All the questions slammed into him at once and he took another step away from them, whimpering when his back hit the wall. 

He was cornered. He was cornered, and all these questions were beginning to make his head spin as if he hadn’t slept in days , and his stomach was beginning to hurt because he hadn’t eaten in so long, and the water he had filled it with reminded his body of that fact, and Gods, he knew he had promised his dad he would try harder, but every instinct within him was telling him to bite them make them stop.

But he couldn’t do that. Last time had gone so terribly, and he couldn’t handle their rage again. So he forwent his first instinct, grabbing at the second. 

Run. 

Throwing rational thought to the wind, he pushed all his energy into getting out of here; he could handle the repercussions later, when his head was on straight and he could breathe again. His only escape was through the group, and so he latched onto the only tiny gap he could see in the crowd around him and went for it. 

But of course, the Gods couldn’t grant him more than one favour. Someone latched onto his sleeve as he tried to squeeze through, tried to get anywhere but here, dragging him back into their little corner of too much. He couldn’t even open his mouth and tell them to stop, leave me alone! because his lungs refused to take in any air and his throat refused to shape what minimal air he had into words.

And then it went silent. Dead silent. 

“You’re hurt,” whispered Kai. Lloyd’s eyes snapped up, and he shrank back at the intensity of Kai’s gaze. And then the words processed, and Lloyd’s stomach filled with dread and ice. 

None of them were looking into his eyes anymore; they were looking down at his bare wrist, where those nasty red scratches he had made himself were on display for the world to see, courtesy of whoever had pulled his sleeve down in their attempt to keep him here.

All their mouths opened at once, a precursor to the next round of toomuchtoomuchtoomuch, maybe even to Lloyd’s final moments, if he didn’t get out of here. He had been considering the possibility of going forth with his initial written-off plan to bite his way out of the corner, when Jay shouted, “Stop!” 

The room froze. Even Cole, who had been coming over to inspect the aforementioned wounds, paused, his attention snapping over to the blue ninja. 

“Everyone just shut up—can’t you see you’re overwhelming him?” All heads turned back to Lloyd, and he flushed under the attention. “Just… I’ll handle this.” 

Jay shoved his way to the front of the group, taking Lloyd’s hand. Lloyd, too stunned to do much of anything, allowed Jay to lead him through and away from the group. To freedom. 

“Hey, wait—” Kai tried to argue. Jay paused in the doorway, but ushered Lloyd out of the room ahead of him, out of their line of sight, thank the Gods. “He hasn’t told us what happened—” 

“I’ll talk to him,” Jay promised. “Trust me.” And then he was out of the room too, leading Lloyd down the hallway. 

A faint scoff, and a, “Trust you?” followed Jay’s words, and Lloyd watched thoughtfully as Jay’s shoulders stiffened, though he said nothing in return. Lloyd had heard the banter between Jay and the others before, but not once had he noticed it affect the ninja. And… had the banter always been so harsh?

Was this why Jay hadn’t told them his secret? 

Jay led the way back to Lloyd’s room, murmuring for him to make himself comfortable on the bed while Jay went and got the first-aid kit. Before he slipped out of the room, Jay hesitated. “I… Stay here, okay?” 

Lloyd dipped his head, something within his chest loosening, a tightly wound knot; they wanted him to stay. Jay smiled at him, then slipped out of the room, the door shutting behind him softly. Lloyd didn’t miss how tired the expression had been. 

Maybe he wasn’t the only one feeling unwanted here. But then, Jay couldn’t leave; Destiny had struck, and he had no choice but to stay, where Lloyd could leave again if he wished. 

A mournful pang throbbed in his chest, and he realised with a start that he was worried for the guy. Maybe he could use the skills countless years of pranking others had given him to set up some sort of intervention for the guy. Perhaps with Cole? Those two seemed to be close, closer than Jay was with anyone else on the team. 

The idea filled him with a giddy warmth, one that he no longer needed to repress, now that he knew his father wouldn’t be disgusted with him for thinking kind thoughts. In fact, he had a feeling his dad would be proud of him for using his skills in such a way—that realisation left him feeling fuzzy and golden, and he clung to the sensation as he worked on calming his breathing now that he was away from all the noise, from all their demanding eyes. 

Jay was quick to return with the first-aid kit in one hand, his jar of healing paste shoved between his elbow and his waist. His expression softened with significant relief when he saw Lloyd hadn’t upped and disappeared in the mere minutes he had been gone and again, Lloyd was struck by just how wrong he had been in his assumption that none of them cared. Gods, he owed his dad the best Father’s Day gift for his advice. The man had saved him from making one of the biggest mistakes of his life, and he would need to tell him that the next time he saw him. 

Lloyd hoped that would be soon.

Jay offered him another smile—warmer this time, lacking that fatigue from before—and slipped back into the room, shutting the door softly behind him so they could have some privacy. 

“Thanks for waiting,” Jay said as he settled down on the mat beside Lloyd. The first-aid kit was laid out before them, the jar of paste placed between them. 

Lloyd hummed his assent, not trusting his voice to work when he was still trying to wind down from earlier. It would return soon, once that knot of stress within his throat eased. 

Jay said no more as he plucked out the antiseptic spray from the kit, holding out a hand expectantly. Lloyd offered his arm without complaint, knowing better than to argue when Jay had saved him earlier. And he knew the guy would be gentle with his wounds, as he had been last time. 

Jay began to clean the wounds with antiseptic spray, though Lloyd wasn’t sure what the purpose of that was, when they were days old. A comforting ritual, maybe. As his saviour, Jay could do whatever he wanted, as far as Lloyd was concerned. 

The paste came next, the delightful scent of pine filling the room. But instead of leaving it there, Jay took out a neat ball of bandages and set about wrapping the wounds, hiding them from the world in snug cotton. 

“Sometimes, I find it’s easier to cover them. Helps stop relapses, too,” Jay explained when Lloyd shot him a curious look. 

Despite it all, a tiny smile quirked Lloyd’s lip. Jay was trying to help a little more, doing his best to make sure Lloyd was safe. Jay cared, and Lloyd had been too wrapped up in his own head to notice, had fallen so far into his thoughts that he had done this to himself. 

“’m sorry,” Lloyd mumbled, ashamed of his actions. Looking back, it all felt so stupid, so childish of him to react how he had, even if the emotions had felt so real, so overwhelming. 

Jay paused in his wrapping, lifting a brow. “What for? I know sometimes it’s hard not to… You don’t have to be sorry for that.” 

Lloyd pursed his lips, watching as Jay resumed wrapping his wrist up. When Jay taped down the bandage and turned to Lloyd’s other paste-covered arm, Lloyd spoke up again. “For not coming to you.” Like he should have. Gods, he was an idiot. Had he gone to Jay, none of this would have happened in the first place. “I just… I didn’t…” Didn’t what? Trust Jay? Of course he wouldn’t—he didn’t trust any of the Ninja, or anyone on this ship, not when he had only been here for a couple short weeks. 

Or maybe he didn’t want to bother Jay with his babyish problems? That was also likely. 

Despite Lloyd not finishing his sentence, Jay understood. “I know, and it’s okay. I should have done more and I didn’t. I should have checked up on you; trust isn’t a one-way street, and I shouldn’t have just expected you to come to me. I guess.” Jay shrugged, as if to dismiss his words as silly; to top it off, he rubbed the back of his neck. Lloyd wondered who had teased the poor guy into feeling like anything that came out of his mouth was irrelevant; stupid. 

Surely his father would still support him if he murdered that awful person . Maybe he would even help? Or would murdering someone evil go against his dad’s while evil shebang? Or would it be getting competition out of the way?

Lloyd would think about it later.

“I’ll try harder this time,” Lloyd promised. Promised, because he intended to keep his word this time. He couldn’t promise to go to Jay every time he felt awful—he might as well be stuck to him at the hip, in that case—but he could at least try. 

And that was enough for Jay; the guy nodded, beaming. “I will too.” Lloyd returned the smile, a little less enthusiastically, but still there, and just as genuine. 

Jay finished wrapping his other arm quickly, and Lloyd wondered just how many wounds he had patched up for the other Ninja, just how often the group wound up hurt. Such a job could not be the best line of work, no matter how much appreciation and adoration they received.

“All done,” Jay announced, snapping Lloyd back to reality. Gods, he needed to start sleeping well consistently. It would do wonders for his attention span. “Now, I hate to ask this of you while you’re down, but… What happened last night? If you tell me, I’ll share my own silly secret,” Jay added enticingly. 

Lloyd giggled, but the sound was half-hearted, nerves plunging into his chest and ripping all joy out. He knew he would have to talk about it, had been psyching himself up from the moment he had awoken, and yet he was still nervous. At least he wouldn’t have to tell all of the Ninja; Jay could relay his story to the others. 

That, and Jay seemed more… mellow than Lloyd had initially picked him out to be. At least, he had been in their few interactions. Mellow, and concerned.

Lloyd dipped his head to let Jay know he intended to, then paused, brows furrowing in thought. How was he meant to articulate all those awful things he had been thinking and feeling? He hadn’t the words for them, not when Darkley’s had only taught him to be evil; villains didn’t have time to crumble under the heavy weight in their chest, not when they were meant to be torturing heroes, and plotting to tear apart the world and rebuild it so that they stood on top. Villains weren’t sad. 

Better to start with what he did know how to say, even if he would need to metaphorically rip off that band-aid. 

“I ran away,” he blurted, his cheeks heating up when Jay inhaled sharply. He lowered his gaze to his lap, fiddling with his fingers as he had dozens of times before when he had been sent to the principal’s office for being too good.

“Wh—You, you… why?” Jay asked, voice high with concern. 

Lloyd took a deep breath to steel himself, imagining his father at his side, shadowy hand resting upon his shoulder, reassuring. You can do it, son, his dad would say. I will stay with you while you do, dear heart. He could hear the words, clear as day, and they helped to quell the thrashing nerves in his chest. 

“I didn’t feel wanted,” Lloyd mumbled, his voice weaker than he had hoped. But it was enough for Jay to hear, the other making a soft, sad sound. “It’s not your fault, it was just…” Thinking back to his dad’s words, he tried to explain as best as he could. “Back at Darkley’s, everyone was constantly pretending to be nice to me, but they would always end up betraying me; villain stuff,” Lloyd added with a hollow laugh. Jay didn’t laugh with him, and Lloyd coughed nervously. 

“I guess I thought you guys would do that eventually, too, and I… I didn’t like the thought of that,” Lloyd confessed, the simple words not nearly enough to convey how heart wrenching the thought of the Ninja, of his Uncle and Nya abandoning him as everyone else had, was to him. 

When he fell silent, lost in the thought of them leaving him too, Jay spoke up. “So… you left before we could leave you?” he asked tentatively, and again, Lloyd wanted to smack whoever had made the guy so nervous. 

Lloyd hummed his assent, suddenly feeling drained right down to his core. Two heartfelt talks in less than a day was exhausting. Maybe he would be able to sleep for a week after this. 

Rather than accuse him of being an idiot—Lloyd already knew that, thank you very much—Jay simply asked, “What made you come back?” 

Lloyd paused. He hadn’t expected that question. But… did he want to tell Jay about his talk with his father, the guy that he and the other Ninja were trying to defeat? Did he want to reveal that he had appeared so close by, only last night? 

No. Lloyd would keep that to himself. 

“I got scared,” Lloyd said, only half-lying through his teeth. He had been scared. “And I, I missed you guys,” he mumbled, the truth feeling a little too raw and leaving him feeling vulnerable. He hated being so open, so honest, but it was the only way to deter Jay from asking too much, from looking a little too close and discovering the truth.

Jay let out a coo and Lloyd’s face heated up even more. “We missed you too, bud.” 

Had they? Lloyd hadn’t expected that. Maybe that they had been worried, not expecting someone of his age to be able to survive out in the wild alone. But had they really missed him, despite all he had done to them? 

“We weren’t sure what had happened to you, but when Zane went to check up on you and saw you were gone, and your food was untouched, we thought,” Jay’s face scrunched up, “Well, I thought maybe something had happened to you, and I…” His brows knitted together, and Lloyd wondered just how worried the guy had been. 

Jay took in a deep breath, then continued, “We won’t do that to you Lloyd—betray you, I mean. Even if you were the biggest brat in all of Ninjago and made our lives miserable, we’d still keep you safe here.” Despite the joke meaning well, Lloyd’s heart still sank when it reminded him of how he had behaved. He was sure Jay hadn’t been thinking of it when he said the words, but now it was all Lloyd could think of. 

“I’m sorry for being mean to you,” he said, unable to meet Jay’s eye when shame crawled over him. 

“Lloyd, I didn’t mean—” 

“No,” Lloyd cut him off. His dad was right: he owed them all an apology. “I was really upset, and I…” Why couldn’t he articulate this? Why was it so hard?

“You lashed out,” Jay finished for him. 

Lloyd nodded miserably. “’m sorry,” he said again, then wondered if he could ever apologise enough to remove this guilt from his chest. Maybe it had moved in permanently now. Gods, he hoped not. It was awful.

Jay sighed, shifting closer and nudging Lloyd with his elbow gently, a reassuring little gesture that had Lloyd looking up to meet Jay’s eye. “Look, Lloyd,” he began in a tone that made Lloyd wince. Here it came. “What you did wasn’t okay, and it hurt.” Lloyd nodded, holding Jay’s gaze despite everything within him begging that he look away. “But I forgive you.” What? “You were upset, and none of us realised you were only lashing out because you were hurting; I can’t hold it against you.” 

“Really?” Lloyd whispered. 

Jay smiled, then, forgiveness shimmering within his eyes. “Of course, bud. You’ll have to try a lot harder to get me to hate you,” he added jokingly, smile brightening when Lloyd huffed a laugh. 

When they fell silent, the air a little too heavy, too emotional, for either of their liking, Jay clicked his fingers. “Oh! I guess I owe you a secret now, too.” 

Lloyd gasped in excitement, inching closer. No one had shared a secret with him before—Jay’s earlier confession to hurting himself too didn’t count in his book, not when it hadn’t been a fun secret so much as a way for them to relate to one another. 

Jay cast a furtive glance around, then leaned in closer to whisper, “I still sleep with my childhood plushie.” 

Lloyd snorted, the mental image of Jay curled up with a stuffed animal enough to send him almost into hysterics after their heartfelt conversation. Really? The Master of Lightning, one of the powerful Ninja intent on defeating Lloyd’s Overlord father, slept with a plushie? 

It was too good. 

Jay shoved him away lightly with a scoff, rolling his eyes. “And when did you stop sleeping with your plushie, Mr. Tough Guy?” he said, raising a brow teasingly.

Lloyd faltered then, looking down sheepishly. “I… I’ve never had one,” he confessed. His mother had only left him with his blanket, and he had never had the chance to try and get his own. It would have been destroyed by the other boys at Darkley’s, anyway. 

Jay’s face fell so suddenly, Lloyd was worried for his health for a moment. “You’ve never had one? But didn’t your… Oh, I guess he couldn’t… But what about… Hm.” Jay’s brows were furrowed deeply in thought, and Lloyd could see he was mentally putting the pieces together, the jigsaw puzzle of Lloyd’s Trashy Childhood coming together too neatly for Lloyd’s liking. 

But Jay didn’t ask any questions, thank the Gods. Lloyd wasn’t sure he could handle another emotionally charged conversation right now, when he was so exhausted. Instead, he simply nodded and began to pack away his kit and tighten the lid of the healing paste. 

“You look tired,” Jay noted. And as if the mere mention of it had brought his fatigue back, Lloyd yawned loudly, eyes tearing up. He hummed in assent as he sleepily rubbed at his eyes. Now that he wasn’t back in that cave, and his chest had settled a little, no longer too burdened, he felt he would be able to sleep. And if he couldn’t, he would sneak into the kitchen for some chamomile, even if he had to figure out how to put the tea together himself. 

He was going to sleep, dang it. 

Jay stood to leave, but hesitated before he made it more than a step, the kit clasped in one hand, jar of paste in the other. He turned back, paused, then nodded, as if in agreement with himself about something. Lloyd watched curiously as Jay knelt before him, setting down the kit, the jar of paste atop it. Had he changed his mind and decided he needed to know of Lloyd’s family—or lack thereof? 

“Do you—” Jay faltered, hesitated, then steeled himself. “Do you want a hug?”  

Lloyd stared at him agape. Since when had anyone respected him enough to ask before touching him? The other boys had no qualms with grabbing at him, took pleasure in his squeaks of discomfort and yelps of pain. The other Ninja never asked before touching him either, even if they were more affectionate where the Darkley’s boys had been violent. 

Something within him softened and he nodded. Cole’s hug, while abrupt and startling, had been wonderful, and he could still feel the warmth flourishing in his chest from the comforting contact; why would he give up the opportunity for another hug? 

Jay smiled, softer than his usual beams, or cheeky grins. He didn’t wait for Lloyd to try and figure out how to initiate a hug, instead he shuffled forward, turned slightly, then drew Lloyd into his side, holding him close. When Lloyd instantly melted into the touch, leaning closer, desperate to soak up the warmth and comfort, Jay curled around him, resting his chin over Lloyd’s head protectively.

And Lloyd… Lloyd loved it. Where Cole’s hug had been strong and secure, sturdy as the earth and as soothing as a walk through the woods, Jay’s felt a little less confident, but no less genuine. Jay’s felt like the comfort of a storm after months of drought, like the relief of rain after a hot summer’s day, cooling down the air, wrapping around him as if to say I’m here now. You need not suffer any longer. Even when Jay began to lightly tap against Lloyd’s back absentmindedly, the hug was still perfect—it just added a little Jay Flair to the embrace, for the Master of Lightning was never meant to be still for long. 

The embrace became a little too much too soon for Lloyd, and he was forced to pull away lest he find himself overwhelmed again. “Thanks,” he murmured, shifting uncertainly. This was new territory, and he hadn’t a clue how to traverse it. 

Jay only waved him off, gathering his things again and giving Lloyd one final pat to the shoulder, quiet reassurance. Once more, he paused, turning back to face Lloyd from the doorframe. “Get some rest, bud. Zane will be by soon with some food.” 

Lloyd nodded, barely processing the words when he was so sleepy. Two hugs in one day, and two long, emotional talks over two days left a kid exhausted. 

“And don’t forget,” Jay added, drawing Lloyd’s attention back to him from where he had been drawing his blanket back, prepared to pass out. “You’re one of us, now.” 

And then Jay was gone, the door closing shut behind him softly. Lloyd blinked. Then he smiled, a gentle warmth blossoming in his chest. 

As he slipped off into a dreamless sleep, he thanked the Gods again for being wrong. 

*

Knocking drew him out of the light sleep he had fallen into. Lloyd rolled over to face the wall with a soft groan, throwing an arm over his eyes and wishing he could be left alone to rest. Why was someone disturbing him anyway?

“Lloyd?” 

He blinked blearily, recognising the level tone easily. What did Zane need him for? And at such a late time. 

“I have brought you something to eat,” Zane said. His words spurred Lloyd’s memory, and he inhaled sharply as it all came rushing back to his tired mind. 

Oh, Gods. Zane was here. Lloyd had treated him like trash and he owed Zane the apology of a lifetime, but he had hoped to give it tomorrow, after a night’s rest and a morning hidden away in his room to plan. 

Lloyd curled up tighter and remained silent. If he feigned sleep, surely Zane would leave him be. 

But Lloyd had underestimated Zane’s determination. A soft click echoed through the room as Zane opened the door, eliciting a light flinch from Lloyd—one he prayed Zane hadn’t noticed.

“Lloyd?” 

Lloyd said nothing, still as a statue beneath his blankets.

Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

The door clicked shut again, soft footsteps drawing near. A gentle clink of something being placed down by Lloyd’s bed—a plate, he presumed—followed by a deeper, but equally gentle thump. Zane sitting down. 

Lloyd didn’t move, didn’t so much as breathe. 

“I know you are awake,” Zane said, crushing Lloyd’s hope of getting out of this. He bit his lip, wincing when his sharp incisors dug a little too deep and drew blood. 

When Lloyd gave no response still, Zane sighed heavily, the sound like a knife of molten guilt through Lloyd’s gut, twisting for good measure. “I will not force you to talk to me, or even look at me if you do not wish, but I cannot leave this room until you have eaten, Lloyd. It has been”—a pause while Zane calculated—“over two and a half days since your last meal, to my knowledge.”

Feigning sleep was a no go, and outright ignoring Zane would only make Lloyd feel worse. Plus, the guy didn’t deserve that, not when Lloyd had already been so awful to him. So, Lloyd hummed softly in assent; he hadn’t eaten anything since Zane had last passed him that taiyaki while they had been shopping together. But he had yet to feel any of the usual hunger pangs, when he had been subsisting off of overwhelming guilt and misery. 

A sad sound escaped Zane, making Lloyd’s heart ache. He was the cause of Zane’s strife. Rustling filled the air, much to Lloyd’s confusion. Had Zane given up on him so easily? 

His heart hurt more at the thought.

But then Zane spoke up again, still behind him, “Please, Lloyd. You must eat. I have turned around to give you privacy, if you do not wish for any of us to see you, but I—” For the first time since Lloyd had met him, Zane faltered, his voice cracking. “I cannot bear the thought of you starving like this, not when I can do something about it.”

Something caught in Lloyd’s throat and tears sprung into his eyes at the sheer sincerity behind Zane’s words. He was desperate for Lloyd to eat something. He… he really did care, and Lloyd had almost blown it because he had been too sensitive.

Gods, he was so stupid. 

Weak muscles groaning in protest, Lloyd forced himself up, smiling faintly when he saw Zane, true to his word, sat with his back facing Lloyd. 

It made him want to cry all the more.

“Okay,” Lloyd breathed, voice weak, exhausted. 

Zane still caught it as he always did, for he nodded, but didn’t turn, only waited patiently. Lloyd watched him warily a moment longer, then lowered his gaze to the plate Zane had placed beside his bed.

His breath caught in his throat. It was a sandwich; the same kind of sandwich Zane had made him all those weeks ago, when he had found out Lloyd hadn’t been eating. 

Tears burned in his eyes as he dug in, and he used his sleeve to wipe them away when they spilled, desperately trying to keep the sniffles at bay. Zane didn’t turn once despite no doubt hearing Lloyd’s soft sobs, and Lloyd was struck by just how considerate Zane was of his privacy, how respectful he was despite how Lloyd had treated him. 

“You can turn around, now,” Lloyd said, voice wavering, once he had finished his food. His stomach felt better for it, rejoicing now that it had actual food in it, but his heart still hurt, heavy with guilt. 

Zane’s eyes widened when he saw Lloyd was still facing him, when he saw the tears trickling down his cheeks. “Lloyd—”

“I’m sorry,” Lloyd whispered, lowering his gaze when the shame became too much. “I was so mean to you, and I—” He sniffled, scrubbing at his eyes. Why couldn’t he stand tall and apologise properly, like Zane deserved? Why was he so easily reduced to a blubbering mess?

Zane’s face softened. He shook his head. “I accept your apology,” he said. “And I forgive you.” 

The words were so simple, and yet they filled Lloyd with such relief that he couldn’t hold back a sob as he nodded. Zane had forgiven him! He didn’t understand why, but it helped, a little. 

“Would you like a hug?” Lloyd’s head whipped up, startled, and his eyes widened when he saw Zane had spread his arms in invitation. 

Lloyd didn’t answer verbally. Instead, he fell forward, latching onto Zane like a lifeline and hoping it got his response across.

The first thing he noticed as Zane’s arms wrapped securely around him was that unlike Cole and Jay, Zane’s hugs weren’t warm . Zane’s body radiated a chill not unlike a winter breeze, but without the bite to it, and without being overwhelming; it was enough to help ground Lloyd, and it had a soothing effect, settling his tumultuous emotions. Zane set about rubbing Lloyd’s back, up and down his spine, the sensation finishing what the embrace itself had started and fully grounding him to the present. 

“It is okay,” Zane murmured. “I am not mad at you, I promise.” Lloyd sobbed in relief, nodding once as that guilt from his heart lifted a little more. A few more apologies, and it might ease enough for him to feel almost normal again.

It wasn’t long before Lloyd settled in his arms, eyelids pleasantly heavy as they were when he had Kai’s chamomile and lavender special. Numbly, he felt Zane shift, moving the empty plate out of the way. 

“You need rest,” Zane said, squeezing him tightly. Lloyd nodded absentmindedly, already beginning to drift off. Hugs were so comforting, and he felt he could easily sleep here forever, if Zane would let him.

His grip on Zane’s back weakened as he drifted off, missing when Zane pulled away with a fond smile, missing when he tucked him into bed, and missing when Zane pressed a kiss to his forehead, slipping out of the room silently.

Chapter Text

Pale moonlight streamed in through the closed window, its brilliant light sprawling across the wooden floors like a fluffy white carpet and limning the metal bars of their bunkbeds. The ship was achingly quiet tonight, as it always was during those rare times they weren’t anchored down in the ocean, or drifting through the air, swaying side to side. It left the occupants of the room unsettled, for their usual routine to be bothered.

But it wasn’t the only thing disrupting their sleep tonight.

“Okay,” Kai huffed quietly, rolling over to face the underside of Cole’s mattress above him. “Is anyone else still awake?” 

A chorus of assenting murmurs met his ears, and Kai hummed. “You guys thinking about the kid too?” 

“Of course!” 

“Duh!” 

“I cannot think of anything else.” 

Kai nodded approvingly. “Good. In that case— what the hell was that?”  

“Who knows!” Cole hissed back, not so much annoyed with Kai than he was at their significant lack of knowledge on the situation. Curiosity burned within each of them, bubbling higher and higher until they were rendered sleepless, their only cure the answers they desperately sought.

“I believe someone has an idea,” Zane piped up, peeking his head out over the edge of his bunk to look down at the occupant beneath him, unnervingly quiet. “Jay?” 

“Want to share with the class what happened to the kid?” Cole asked, sitting up to give his teammate his full attention. 

Kai huffed. “Unless he couldn’t stop talking about himself long enough to get an answer from the kid.”

Soft chuckles filled the room, and Jay glared at the Master of Fire. “Says you, Mr. I Spend Three Hours in The Bathroom.” 

“Hey!” 

“My friends. Can we focus, please?” Zane didn’t snap at them, didn’t need to. They all fell silent under his tired tone. “Jay, did you learn anything?” 

Jay hummed his assent, turning away in thought. 

“Well, tell us,” Cole demanded, that burning curiosity shimmering within his eyes. “Maybe I’ll finally be able to sleep once I know.” 

Jay let out a humourless laugh that made them all wince with anticipation. Just what had the kid shared with him, they all wondered. “What do you want to know?” 

“What happened to his arms?” 

“Why was he injured?” 

“Where did he go?” 

Jay rolled his eyes at his teammates, then chose the question two of them were dying to know the answer to. “He was…” Jay looked down. “He was injured in a bit of an incident,” he murmured the word incident, as if it didn’t sit well in his mouth, as if it wasn’t quite the truth. “It was really embarrassing,” he hurriedly added. “So he doesn’t want me to share it. But he’ll be fine; I cleaned and wrapped them.” 

Low hums filled the air, dissatisfaction echoing through the room, but any information regarding the incident would die with Jay, they could tell; none of them pushed. Not when they had other questions they needed answered and barely a scrap of energy within the four of them after such an exhausting day. 

“Why wasn’t he here when we checked up on him?” Cole asked, troubled. “Where did he go? He told me it was just a walk, but…” His lips thinned. He hadn’t believed Lloyd’s words for a second.

“Yeah, I wanna know that too,” Kai demanded. 

“I concur,” Zane offered his own input, and then all eyes were on Jay, leaving the Master of Lightning shifting uncomfortably. 

“Well… He uh…” 

“Oh, don’t tell me you didn’t ask. Come on, Jay!” 

Jay narrowed his eyes at Kai and said, “He ran away, Kai.” 

The room fell suffocatingly silent, as if the air had been knocked out of everyone but Jay’s lungs. 

“He ran away,” Jay said once more, his voice sad where it had been vindictive seconds ago.  

“He… What?” Kai asked, his words soft, as if he couldn’t muster up his usual energy, as if Jay’s words had sapped him of life. 

“What do you mean, he ran away?” Cole demanded, though his voice, too, was lacklustre. 

“I already told you—” 

“I think what Cole means to ask, is why did Lloyd run away?” Zane cut in, ever the mediator. “Was he… was he unhappy here?” 

Jay worried his lip between his teeth, pushing himself up into a seated position. This wasn’t the kind of discussion to have while lying down like this was some sleepover with silly school dramas. “If I tell you, you have to promise you won’t breathe a word of this to Lloyd. I don’t know if he expected me to share this with everyone, but I don’t want to mess with his trust, okay?” 

No mocking remarks were made, for once. Everyone nodded, sharing a worried look. Just what had Lloyd told Jay to make the guy so serious?

“Well… He said he ran away because he felt unwanted,” Jay began. Immediately, he was interrupted.

“Unwanted?” Kai echoed, aghast. 

Jay huffed. “That’s what I said. Let me finish.” Kai tutted, but waved for him to hurry and continue. “He told me back when he was at Darkley’s, a lot of the kids there would pretend to be his friend, only to betray him. I think he learned to expect betrayal from any hint of kindness.” Jay let out a breath, running his hand through his hair. “And, well, that didn’t go away when Sensei took him in. He started worrying that we would do that to him as well, and he wound up upset—that’s why he was lashing out at us, yesterday.” 

Gasps of understanding filled the air at his words, and Jay chuckled despite it all. Then, he remembered how miserable Lloyd had looked, how scratched up his arms were, and his face fell again. 

“I think… I think he was hoping one of us would notice he was hurting behind all that anger and try to reassure him, but…” Jay’s lips thinned. 

“He didn’t find what he was looking for.” Cole realised. 

“Nope,” Jay said, popping the ‘p’. “So, he left us… before we could leave him.” 

A pained noise filled the air, and three occupants of the room turned to Kai. “Does he really think we’d… And that we don’t…?” 

Jay hummed his assent. “I tried to talk to him, but I think we’ll all need to reassure him.” 

At his words, the room fell silent, everyone thinking of different ways they could try to reassure the poor kid that they truly did care; that they didn’t hate him, nor did they intend to deceive him. 

But how could they tell him as much when he had likely been told hundreds of times, shortly before he was tricked again, his weak, fragile trust shattered once more. 

“It is not only issues with trust,” Zane spoke up, stirring them all from their minds. “On one of his first nights here, Sensei had him spend time with me in the kitchen, and I realised…” Zane hesitated then, uncertain. 

“We won’t rat you out,” Kai promised. “Everything we say tonight stays in here.” The others agreed with him, each desperate to learn what they could so they could prove to Lloyd that they cared.

“In that case… I am not certain on the specifics, but I believe he has had food withheld from him before.” 

“Withheld?” Jay asked. 

Zane nodded. “Yes. On that day, I realised he was very malnourished.” He hummed in understanding as the others inhaled sharply. “Not only that, but he had not eaten anything since Sensei had brought him a meal on his first night here.” 

“Dare I ask how long?” Kai spoke up. 

“Three days,” Zane elaborated, much to their horror. 

“What?"

“Why?” 

“Let me finish,” Zane stated, simply and without fuss. The others were quick to quiet down, eager to know. “As I said, someone might have withheld food from him before. He was reluctant to take our food, because 'it was not his to take’.

“I have since been doing my utmost to ensure he eats every day,” Zane promised, earning multiple sighs of relief. “But I still worry. I cannot help but wonder what happened to him to make him so… skittish to take what is a human necessity.” 

“So, that’s why he never joined us for dinner,” Jay realised, face troubled.

“Yes,” Zane said. “I do not think he is comfortable joining us due to his history.”

Silence followed his words, Zane having given them even more to ponder on, as if Jay hadn’t heaped them with enough dreadful information to keep them awake all night. 

“I… I guess I have something to share, too,” Cole said, drawing their attention to him. “It’s not as big or observational as Zane’s, but it is something that’s left me worried about the kid since.” 

“Oh, Gods, do we all have something?” Kai said. 

“Not you too!” Jay cried, head falling into his hands as he pondered just how much the kid had been through. Lloyd already wasn’t the most open about his problems; how badly was he hurting that so much had begun to leak through the cracks in his walls?

“What did you want to share, Cole?” Zane asked. 

“Well, it’s just… I know we agreed not to tell, but do not tell him I told you this.”

“We know, we know. Spit it out already.”

“Hush, fire boy, I’m getting to it! The other day, I couldn’t sleep. I heard something weird above deck, and when I went to check on it… I found Lloyd, curled up in the tightest ball I’d ever seen, and bawling his eyes out.” 

Hisses of sympathy met his words. “He was crying?” Zane asked, a hand moving to his chin in thought. “I wonder what made him so upset.”

“You and me both, frosty. The kid didn’t want to talk, but he let me stay with him until his tears dried and he went back to bed. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that night since…” Cole trailed off, his voice low, troubled. 

“Yeesh,” Jay mumbled to himself. “We missed a lot.” 

“Technically, we figured these things out separately.” 

Jay huffed. “I know that, Kai. What I meant was… Well… I just can’t help but wonder what else we missed. Surely there’s more, right?” 

Kai didn’t respond. His brows knitted together in thought, and with concern as his mind conjured up other heart-wrenching scenarios with the kid that none of them had been there for. Just how many times had he cried alone? How much hurt did he have hidden away that he refused to share? 

After a few moments had passed with only steady silence filling the room, Jay asked, “You said you had something, too?” 

“Yeah,” Kai muttered, shaking his head to relieve himself of the heartbreaking scenarios. “I’m not gonna elaborate on this too much, ‘cause it’s not really anyone’s business, but… I don’t think the kid had any parental figures growing up—Darkley’s certainly didn’t provide any,” he added with a scoff, crossing his arms. 

“No parental figures,” Zane murmured. “That would certainly make sense. If he had no one to rely on when upset, or to seek out when hungry, then a lot of his actions seem only logical.” 

“He had no one to help guide him,” Jay said woefully. “No wonder he—” Jay’s voice broke and he turned away, unable to finish his sentence. 

“Yeah,” Cole agreed, torn between hopping down to comfort his friend, and leaving him be so as to not draw attention to him. 

“Well then, I say we do our best to be good role-models for the kid,” Kai announced, for once not taking the opportunity to tease his more sensitive friend. “If he’s never had anyone to help guide him, then we can do that for him, right?”  

“Yeah!”

“Yes, I believe that would be best.” 

Kai nodded approvingly. “Great!” 

“It will not be easy,” Zane interjected. “He has had a lifetime to learn these beliefs.” 

“Yeah, but we’re ninja, and ninja never quit!” Kai shoved his fist into the air, and the room became a little warmer with his enthusiasm.

“We’ll need to make sure he knows we care for him,” Jay said, the beginnings of a plan forming in his head. “We have to make sure he feels wanted here.” 

“Definitely,” Cole said. “We should work on earning his trust, too. He needs to know that not everyone is out to betray him, and it’ll do him some good to have people he can depend on.” 

“I concur,” Zane agreed. “If we show him that we can be trusted, and that we care, I predict his mental health will improve significantly.” 

“So, we just have to change a lifetime’s worth of thinking and earn the trust of a kid with trust issues. How hard can it be?” Cole jested, earning half-hearted chuckles. “But seriously, we need a game plan.” 

“I have a few ideas,” Zane offered. 

“Well, spill ‘em, Zane!” 

Zane climbed down from his bunk and settled down onto the floor, gesturing for the others to follow him. Once they were sitting comfortably in a circle, rapt attention on Zane, he began, “To start, I think we should…” 

Chapter Text

“Hey, mama?” 

Lily held her face to the sun for a moment, dark skin turned molten under its golden rays—or at least, it seemed as such to Cole’s young eyes. A breeze brushed past them, carrying with it the cherry blossom petals, a mark of spring’s arrival, and his mama twisted with them, as if spurred into action by the gentle air. “Yes, my love?” 

Warmth flooded his chest at the sweet words, a smile caressing his cheeks just as the perfumed breeze did. “I wanted to know… How do I help someone who’s sad?” Sad? But… he didn’t know anyone sad, did he? His school friends were always happy. 

Her thick brows furrowed at his words, concern sparkling within her eyes as she leaned closer. “Is something the matter, my love? Would you like me to sing your favourite lullaby?” 

Cole shook his head quickly. “Not me,” he promised, and his mama nodded, knowing he wouldn’t lie. Not to her. Never to her. “It’s just… someone I know. Someone who’s sad, and I don’t know how to fix it.” 

She laughed, then, the sound sweet, melodic. It was no wonder her husband had fallen for her, when her voice was that of an angel’s. “Oh, my sweet Cole. Always so eager to protect, just like your mama.” He dipped his head in embarrassment; he couldn’t help his nature! His mama only hummed softly, a calloused hand caressing his cheek, lifting his gaze back up to meet hers. “I am so proud of you, my love.” 

His cheeks began to hurt with how brightly he was smiling, even as his chest burned with worry for…

Who was he worried about? 

“Unfortunately, I cannot offer much,” she said with a sigh, her thumb rubbing circles into his skin. Cole leaned into the light touch, eyes fluttering closed. “Everyone is different, and what works for one person may only serve to hurt the next. But what is always consistent in its success is that you be there for this person. Let them know you care, but do not push if you feel it will only make matters worse. I know you wish to protect this person, but only they can decide if they wish to be saved, okay?”

Cole’s brows furrowed, little, chubby hands forming fists as his confused mind became irritated. “No,” he said dolefully. “I don’t get it at all.” How could he fix their sadness if he sat back and watched them suffer? He had to do something, right? 

But… for whom?

His mama’s smile didn’t waver. “That is okay, my love. Some lessons are only learned with experience. Remember to make sure this person knows you care, okay? I find a certain someone likes presents,” she added cheekily, tugging on the threaded bracelet she had made him not so long ago, when he had lost his favourite toy, a little cow figurine, to the river.  

Cole hummed thoughtfully, crawling closer to sit in his mama’s lap. “Can you do my hair while I think?” he asked, turning big, pleading eyes upward to her. 

She laughed again, a hand reaching up to cover her mouth as a snort escaped her. When she met his eye again, hers shone with delighted mirth, abound with unconditional love. “Of course I can, my love. The usual?” 

He nodded eagerly, earning another chuckle from his mama. As her fingers began to expertly section his hair, preparing to braid, Cole’s brows furrowed in thought. He needed to cheer him up. 

But who was this person? Who did he need to cheer up?  

His mama’s hands over his head felt so nice, the sensation making it difficult to think. He would let her finish first, and then he would worry about this mystery person.

His eyes slipped shut, contentment in his heart.

And when they opened again, he saw only the old wooden ceiling of his shared room, felt only the phantom sensation of his mama’s hands in his hair when they had been so real only seconds ago. 

His chest felt hollow. His face crumbled, and he rolled over to face the wall, breath hitching as fiery yearning filled his veins. Why did his mind have to conjure up such a tender dream? Why couldn’t it taunt him with the usual nightmares about his mama? Why did it have to bring up long-repressed memories, leaving his heart burning with the desire to see her again, to lay in her lap while she braided his hair.

Gods, he missed her.

A shuddering breath escaped him, and with a wince, he wrapped his arms around his middle. Their talk about Lloyd last night had to have sparked the dream; Lloyd had to be the sad person his dream-self had desperately wished to cheer up. His current, older-self wanted that, too. 

Maybe he could focus on cheering Lloyd up, rather than how terribly he missed his mama. 

“Cole?” 

He blinked at the whisper of his name, rolling over to search for who had called him. Worried, electric blue eyes met his, and he smiled despite the ache in his chest. 

“You okay?” Jay asked. Despite the low light of pre-dawn, Cole didn’t miss the darkness etched beneath his friend’s eyes, and he wondered if Jay had slept at all. No matter, he could force him to rest later. 

Cole hummed his assent, casting a look over at Zane, then down at Kai, making sure they slept soundly on, before he said, “Just had a dream about her—my mama.” He rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling as if he might be able to make out her features in the old wood. 

“Oh,” Jay whispered. “And you’re…?” 

Warmth flooded his chest, eerie of the tenderness his mama’s presence had brought, the love which accompanied it. “I’ll be alright,” Cole promised, a small smile quirking his lip. 

“Okay,” Jay nodded. “Well, I’m always happy to listen if you need it.” 

Cole’s smile turned softer, fonder. “I know. I’ll come bother you if I need to,” he said, his tone light to ensure Jay knew he didn’t consider himself a bother, that he was only joking. “Now,” he began, rolling over to glare lightly at his friend, “Get some sleep, sparky. You look like you stole a piece of Garmadon to stash under your eyes.” 

Jay gasped, throwing a hand to his chest with mock offence. “How dare you!” 

“Sleep,” Cole pushed him. “You know Sensei isn’t forgiving enough to let you have the day off.” 

Jay groaned, throwing a hand over his eyes. “Fine,” he relented. “Wake me if you need me.” And then he was out, snoring softly. 

Cole rolled his eyes, turning back to the ceiling as the sun began to push rays of light into the room. His mind drifted back to his dream as his eyes traced the patterns in the wood of the ceiling. Trying not to think too hard about his mama, and how deeply he missed her, he decided to focus on her words of advice, hoping to come up with an idea on how to help Lloyd. Zane’s whole idea of “be consistent and show you care,” was great, but the finer details of how were a little harder.

But his mama had said something about gifts, and Cole had always loved giving them. They were a way to share with another person a piece of your heart. They served as a reminder that you cared, even when you couldn’t be around to say it. 

Casting a glance at the worn, threaded bracelet on his wrist—orange, his favourite colour—an idea began to rear itself to life. It wouldn’t fix all of Lloyd’s problems, but, like the bracelet his mama had woven him, it would remind the kid he cared. Cared enough to notice, and cared enough to do something about it. 

A smile settled on Cole’s face as he sifted through a mental list of what he could give to the kid. Outside, dawn’s fingers stretched across the shadowed land, golden rays piercing the night as day crawled closer and closer.

*

Exhaustion lingered in the back of Cole’s mind as he dug through what measly items he owned. When he had run away, he hadn’t brought a lot with him, and while he was slowly accumulating more clothes and knick-knacks, he wasn’t quite where he had been when he lived at home. That fact was a blessing today, when it made his goal of finding the perfect gift for Lloyd all the easier; within moments, he had what he needed. 

With a grin, he straightened, clutching the folded-up item close to his chest. It smelled a little musty and could probably use a wash, but he needed to do this today; he felt the urgency in his bones to try and make amends with the poor kid they had all neglected. It pushed him out of the room silently, wary of waking Jay when he had only managed to drift off a few hours ago. And thank the Gods, Sensei had actually let them have the day off, too busy fussing over Lloyd to worry about their training for the moment. 

And maybe he could have fussed over Lloyd yesterday, if the entire team and Nya hadn’t forgotten to alert him that the kid had been found, that he was safe. But then Cole remembered how harrowed the poor kid had looked the night before, and he decided that maybe, just maybe, it was for the best that Lloyd hadn’t had to deal with a conversation with his Uncle on top of everything else. At least he had had the chance to eat and rest and begin to process it all first.

Shaking his head, Cole slipped out of the room quietly, avoiding every wooden plank that creaked and leaving the door partially open to avoid the soft click that followed it shutting. Jay tended to sleep like the dead, but even so, he didn’t want to risk rousing him when his friend had only drifted off a few hours ago.

Cole searched Lloyd’s room first, deciding it to be the best place to start when the kid was often hiding within the tiny space. He knocked first, then when he received no response, creaked open the door. The room was cold, the window pushed open halfway. There wasn’t much to the room, just Lloyd’s makeshift bed, his blanket strewn haphazardly across the mat and the floor, and his hoodie, hanging from a hook jutting out from one of the rafters by the window. Drying, Cole guessed. 

And no Lloyd within the space. 

Cole searched the bathroom next, then the game room and the kitchen, huffing when he still came up short. The Bounty wasn’t that big, it shouldn’t be this hard to find the kid! 

Thinking back to how the kid’s room had been bursting with fresh air, Cole decided to try the deck next. Maybe the kid felt stifled, confined within the wooden walls of the Bounty. Or maybe, he had needed fresh air after his Uncle had no doubt chewed him out this morning. 

As he passed the game room again, he noted that the rest of the group—sans Jay—now resided within it, avidly watching Kai attempt to defeat a level they had all deemed impossible. He had to shove down the sudden urge to join them, forcing himself to continue on towards the stairs. With the others busy and Jay asleep, now would be the best time to talk to Lloyd. The less distractions, the better.

So he forged onwards, taking the steps two at a time as his anticipation mounted, edged with nerves. He prayed the kid didn’t take his gift the wrong way and think Cole had chosen to pity him. He prayed Lloyd took it for the simple kindness it was. 

The morning sunlight blinded him temporarily, forcing his hand up to cover his eyes so he might see again without that burning pain. And as his vision cleared of the white spots coating it, he caught sight of the kid in all his dark-clothed glory. 

Lloyd stood at the stern of the ship, his arms crossed over the railing and his head resting in his arms as he gazed out into the desert. They had yet to take off again, and Cole had a feeling Lloyd was thinking about his attempt to run away.  

This was the perfect time to distract him, then.

The kid didn’t react as he neared despite Cole’s heavy boots, confirming Cole’s suspicion that he was miles away. Sidling up to the kid’s side, Cole followed his gaze, though he couldn’t pinpoint what Lloyd was looking at when only a barren ocean of sand stretched out before them. 

Pushing the gift behind his back, Cole cleared his throat and nudged Lloyd’s shoulder, tearing the kid out of his head—and he wouldn’t comment on the startled yelp that escaped the kid. Lloyd’s cheeks began to burn with embarrassment, but Cole paid that no mind, offering the kid a grin. 

“Back with us now?” he asked with a chuckle, hoping it would get the poor kid to relax a little. Cole was close friends with Jay; he was more than used to the guy’s idiosyncrasies, and nobody else could hope to compare. 

Lloyd dipped his head, the blush fading as he realised Cole wasn’t going to laugh at him for being startled. Just how awful had the kids at Darkley’s been to Lloyd if he was this bashful. After a long moment, Lloyd’s eyes widened and he said, “Um, yeah.” 

Cole smiled. The kid was trying with them. They just had to show him that they were willing to do the same. Cole could start right now with his gift. 

And maybe he could push the kid back to bed for a nap after this. Despite all the rest he’d had the night before, he still looked exhausted and pale. Cole hoped his team’s efforts would help him look and feel better. 

Lloyd began to fidget, averting his gaze, and Cole’s smile faded. He was worried Cole would ask questions, that was plain as day. He wondered if this was how he had looked to Jay only a few short weeks ago, when Cole had broken down just before the day of his mama's passing. He remembered the relief flooding him when Jay hadn’t breached the subject again, other than to reassure him that he wouldn’t judge nor pester Cole about it. 

He wouldn’t reassure Lloyd like that now, not when they weren’t nearly as close as he and Jay were, but he could still reassure him in his own way: dismissing the topic entirely. 

“I’ve got something for you,” Cole said, a grin tugging at his lips when Lloyd blinked, brows furrowing quizzically and confirming Cole’s suspicions of his worries. 

“You… what?” 

Cole shoved aside the thought that Lloyd might not have received a gift before when it left his heart aching, choosing to focus on the now. “A present,” he said, then brought out the item from behind his back, offering it to the kid. 

Lloyd stared at the maroon fabric for a long moment, before his hands slowly, jerkily moved up to take it, as if he’d just remembered that gifts were generally meant to be accepted. 

“Sorry it’s a little musty,” Cole said when Lloyd stared blankly at the gift—an old jumper Cole had outgrown quickly during his training here. It would easily be too big on Lloyd, but Cole figured he could grow into it. Besides, he had chosen it because… “I noticed you wear that black hoodie a lot and I wasn’t sure you had many other options, so I thought I would give you one.” Cole doubted the boarding school would have been generous enough to buy Lloyd more clothes, and if he had no parental figures, then it was likely he had no other clothes. Period.

Lloyd opened his mouth to say something, then faltered. He took in a breath, then, holding the folded jumper close to his chest, he said, softly, “Thank you.” 

With a grin, Cole reached out to ruffle Lloyd’s hair, only to pause when Lloyd shied away. Lloyd hadn’t been uncomfortable with touch the day before, so rather than pull away entirely, Cole patted Lloyd’s shoulder instead, nodding to himself when Lloyd didn’t shy away this time. No touching his head then, Cole noted. 

“Anytime, little guy,” Cole said. “I know it’s not much, but—” 

“It is,” Lloyd cut him off. 

Lloyd wasn’t meeting his eye, but Cole still huffed a laugh, squeezing his shoulder. “Well, even so, I still want to take you clothes shopping next time we stop in a village—don’t let me forget, okay?” 

Lloyd was watching him, eyes wide with disbelief, but after searching Cole’s face for something—deceit, or maybe even jest—he finally nodded. “Okay,” he agreed, much to Cole’s relief, squeezing the jumper tightly against his chest. 

Cole frowned when he noticed the way gooseflesh rippled across Lloyd’s hands, now that he was facing Cole. Lloyd wasn’t shivering, but Cole wouldn’t put it past the kid to force himself to stay still to avoid… whatever it was his mind convinced him he would earn should he show weakness. “Why don’t you try it on now?” he suggested innocently. 

Lloyd shrugged, then nodded, as if still trying not to show that he was cold. Cole wouldn’t call him out on it, not if he wanted to earn the kid’s trust. He waited patiently as Lloyd pulled on the jumper—over his long-sleeve, though Cole wasn’t certain if it was because he was obviously cold and wanted to keep the extra layer on, or because he didn’t want Cole to see his now-wrapped arms, didn’t want to invite a conversation about them. 

Regardless, he wouldn’t ask. 

He did have to stifle a laugh when Lloyd’s head finally popped through the hole, because the kid was swimming in the jumper. The sleeves easily passed his hands, and the hem sank halfway down his thighs, nearing his knees, and Cole was reminded as to just how small Lloyd was, despite his massive attitude. 

Though, he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of said attitude recently…

Cole tried to keep his face from falling, but then he caught the look on Lloyd’s face and his grin dropped instantly. “Hey, what’s going on?” 

Lloyd sniffed—or did he sniffle?—and rubbed at his nose. “I’m sorry for being mean to you the other day. I don’t—” 

Cole cut him off before he could finish that sentence; if he had to hear an eight-year-old tell him they didn’t deserve basic kindness, he might cry. No kid should ever believe such a thing. “Hey, don’t stress about it,” he said. “All is forgiven. Besides, you’ll have to try a lot harder than that to get on my bad side.” He winked at Lloyd, grinning when the kid laughed and nodded, a fierce wave of protectiveness washing over him when Lloyd’s laughter settled down, a small smile remaining on his lips. 

And Gods, he would kill for this kid. 

But since he couldn’t kill for him now, he settled for curling his arm around the kid’s shoulders and drawing him into his side. Lloyd stiffened initially, but was quick to melt into the embrace, leaning closer, resting his head against Cole and solidifying his place in Cole’s heart. 

Damn, who knew the kid could actually be cute?

As they watched the desert together, Lloyd’s shivering ebbed and he sank further into Cole’s side. Cole didn’t mention it, when he guessed the kid hadn’t had much affection in the past. He stood silently, a smile on his face as he internally vowed to protect Lloyd for as long as he had breath within him.

Chapter Text

This time of night was Nya’s favourite. Sure, she hated the unshakeable anxiety that left her jittery and awake at these hours, and she would trade it for a full night’s rest any day, but she tried to look on the positive side of her whole insomnia situation, lest she lose her mind. 

If she did lose her mind, she knew Kai would be there with a cup of his secret tea to bring her back, so she wasn’t too worried. 

At this hour, the ship was quiet, but it wasn’t in any way silent; the Bounty creaked and groaned as it drifted through the air as if it were alive. She liked to compare the sounds to the ship breathing, in and out, as she wandered the dark halls, imagining the faint, intermittent hissings of the ship’s inner workings were its heartbeat. The snores of the Ninja team could be heard almost anywhere in the belly of the ship, reassuring her that they were all alive and fine. Sometimes, she would hear Lloyd tip-toeing about, no doubt believing he was being sneaky. Nya hadn’t said anything to him, choosing to leave him be. She understood the restlessness that accompanied insomnia on a personal level, and she didn’t want him to feel as if he needed to stay hidden in his room should he know she often heard him moving about.

Tonight, that restlessness was urging her to get some fresh air out on the deck. Her routine check-up in the bridge was finished, and who was she to deny what her restless mind willed? Besides, maybe the breeze would whisk away her thoughts, leaving her mind blank and ready for sleep. 

As she ascended the steps to the deck, she noticed with a start that she wasn’t the only one awake at this awful hour of the morning. Standing at the left railing where she herself would normally settle for the night, his arms resting over the polished wood, was Lloyd. 

Nya paused at the second-to-top step, her eyes darting down to her bandaged hand where the kid had bitten her only two days ago. She had been furious with him for so long afterwards, even after Kai had taken her aside and explained to her where the kid had gone yesterday, and what he had been thinking—he still hadn’t needed to bite her. But seeing him now, leaning over the railing glumly, in the throes of a nasty episode of insomnia, if his exhausted posture told her anything, had that anger fizzling out in a heartbeat. 

He looked so young. And no one that young should look so depressed, like the weight of the world rested on their tiny shoulders.

She would change that. Even if it was just for tonight, just for a minute, she wanted the kid to smile. But first, she needed a few things. She was no Kai when it came to comforting, but she knew a thing or two about how to handle insomnia and bad nights, and that knowledge would come in handy now. 

So, despite the urge to step out onto the deck and wrap Lloyd in a tight hug until his sadness went away, Nya turned on her heel and slipped back down the stairs, on a mission. First, she ducked into the kitchen, filling the kettle and setting it on the gas stove—Wu was old-school and refused to invest in an electric kettle. Next, while she waited for the kettle to boil, she made her way down the hallway, chuckling to herself when she passed the boys’ room where loud snores seeped out from under the door. 

Lloyd’s door was cracked open a little, and she didn’t hesitate to push it open fully—privacy meant nothing to her, when she had lived with Kai her whole life. Besides, she wouldn’t snoop. She just wanted to grab one of his blankets for him and head back into the kitchen. 

Nya paused as she stepped into the surprisingly barren room. Even as a kid with next-to-no money, her room had been full of odd knick-knacks and clothes scattered over the floor. All Lloyd had was a scrappy mat to call a bed, and a singular threadbare blanket kicked back to the end of said mat. Another blanket sat folded up in the corner—the one Lloyd had returned with yesterday, clutched tightly in his arms in a way that told Nya it held emotional significance. Nothing else sat within the room.

Nya’s heart panged as she inspected the meagre belongings. No wonder the poor kid thought they hated him when all they had given him was this. He didn’t even have a toy in here.

And it was no wonder Lloyd couldn’t sleep. He had to be freezing in here, with the window propped open and letting in that frigid breeze. And that Gods-awful mat couldn’t be comfortable in the slightest. 

In a heartbeat, Nya knew what she had to do. She turned on her heel and left the room, making a beeline for the cupboard at the other end of the hallway, next to her room. Pulling the door open, she grabbed as many blankets and pillows as her arms could carry, staggering back under the surprising weight when she stood tall again. A grin tugged at her lips. This would keep the kid warm and comfortable. 

She made her way back into Lloyd’s room, noting with relief that he hadn’t returned in the few moments she had been gone. The pile of blankets and pillows was dumped unceremoniously on the floor, Nya sighing in relief once she was free from the burden. Then, she began to set the blankets neatly over Lloyd’s bed, casting aside the awful threadbare blanket and setting aside another fluffy blanket that was lighter than the rest. The pillows were scattered around the bed, encasing the blankets so the bed resembled a cosy nest. 

Nya stood back to admire her work. With a nod to herself, she gathered up the fluffy blanket and scurried out of the room, leaving the door cracked open a little, just as it had been before she entered.  

Throwing the blanket over the back of one of the chairs at the kitchen counter, Nya rushed to take the steaming kettle from the stovetop before it began to whistle. The last thing she needed was to wake the rest of the Bounty. 

Setting the kettle on the trivet by the stove, she fished two mugs from the cupboards, then dug into the pantry for their tin of cocoa and a bar of chocolate. She dumped two heaped spoonfuls of hot cocoa mix into each mug, then broke off a couple cubes of chocolate and dropped them on top of the powder. Next came the boiled water, poured slowly over the mix until the mugs were three-quarters full, the steam pouring from the cups filling the air with the delightful scent of chocolate. Setting the kettle back down on the trivet and pushing both back closer to the wall, lest one of those clumsy ninja knock it from the counter come morning, Nya then grabbed a teaspoon, mixing together the water, cocoa mix, and chocolate until no more clumps remained. Lastly, she poured some milk over the top, giving each drink another couple swirls with the spoon before, with one final tap on the rim of the second mug, she set the utensil in the sink. 

Nya looked between the two mugs and the blanket still resting over the back of the counter chair, pursing her lips and wishing for a moment that she could have four arms. But since that would never happen, she would have to make do with the two she had, and so she threw the blanket over her shoulders, securing it around her neck. Gathering up the mugs, one to each hand, Nya headed back outside, her pace slow, wary of spilling the hot drinks and burning herself. 

As she ascended the wooden steps to the deck again, her mind teased her with the thought that maybe Lloyd had moved on by now, hiding away somewhere else in the Bounty, or even slipping back to bed to give sleep his best shot again. But as the roof opened up to the twinkling night sky and she ascended that final step, she saw the kid hadn’t moved from his place at all, except to lean over crossed arms. He still stared glumly out into the sky. 

Nya paused in the threshold for a moment, watching the poor kid, her heart breaking for him the longer she watched him, wondering if Lloyd was always like this when they weren’t looking. She shook herself from her stupor, pushing her legs forward. She could do something about this now; dwelling on the past wouldn’t do any good. 

With how silent her steps were—force of habit—Lloyd didn’t notice as she approached. Setting down her own mug, Nya settled against the railing, mimicking Lloyd, wary of the drink in her hand. “It’s cool tonight, isn’t it?” 

To say Lloyd jumped out of his skin would be kind—the kid flinched back so hard, he nearly stumbled over his own two feet and landed on his behind, barely catching himself in time with a hand clutching his chest. Outwardly, Nya pretended not to notice, keeping her eyes on the clouds as she inwardly chuckled. He was so skittish. 

“Nya,” Lloyd whispered, voice low with anguish. The tone tugged at her heartstrings, and Nya shifted against the railing so she was facing him. Ignoring his wide, petrified eyes, and how such a sight might have made her grin with morbid satisfaction only hours earlier, Nya smiled, holding out the mug of cocoa. 

“Here,” she said, pushing it closer when Lloyd made no move to take the drink. “You gotta keep warm.” 

Finally, Lloyd took the drink, a shudder running through him as he cupped the warm mug in his hands, as if he had only just realised how cold he truly was. How far had he sunk into his own head to miss such a thing? 

Nya didn’t want to think about it. Instead, she pulled the blanket from where it was curled around her neck, shaking it out and settling it down over the kid’s shoulders while he watched, wide-eyed. “There we go,” she said once it was secure. “Can’t have you catching a cold now can we?” 

Lloyd opened his mouth to say something, then faltered. Rather than speak, he hummed his assent and averted his gaze, and Gods, the kid reeked of shame. Nya couldn’t help but wonder what might have happened with their relationship had she not come out tonight and seen Lloyd looking so small, so distraught. Had she kept that bitter fury within her, would she have eventually snapped at him and shattered whatever chance they had at being close? Would she have been the one to push him into running away again? 

The thought was a knife through her chest, and she shoved it down. Focus. 

“Want to come sit with me?” she asked, bending to pick up her own mug now that her hands were free. Rather than wait for a response, she made her way over to the stairs leading up to the higher levels of the Bounty, settling down on the first wooden step with a content sigh. When she lifted her gaze back to the kid, she saw with a sinking heart that he remained in place, watching her with cautious eyes. Was he worried she would snap at him? 

Forcing her face to soften and settle into a kind smile, Nya patted the spot behind her encouragingly. It took another long moment of hesitation, but Lloyd finally inched closer, stiffly sitting down alongside her, muscles tense, as if ready to spring up and run. Nya had a lot of work to do with the kid before he trusted her. 

Taking a hearty sip from her drink and smacking her lips appreciatively, Nya glanced down at the boy, lips pursing when she noted he had yet to take a sip from his drink. Instead, he sat, still tense as a spring, gazing down into the cocoa forlornly, as if it might hold all the answers to his problems. Nya knew from experience that it didn’t, but what could she say to reassure him? She didn’t know what was going on inside his head right now—was it related to why he had run away, or perhaps worrying about what she might do to him, or something else entirely? Or maybe he was simply tired, and the inability to sleep was making him miserable. 

She understood how that felt all too well. 

But regardless of what was running through his head, she knew they would need to talk about what he had done to her. She deserved to get this weight off of her chest. 

“I was mad at you, you know?” she began, eyes sliding over to her cup of cocoa, watching the stars twinkling in the reflection of the sky. Beside her, Lloyd stiffened further, as if bracing himself, then nodded. 

She would need to be gentle with this.

Nya cupped her mug in both hands and sighed. “So mad,” she reiterated with a wane smile. “Even while you were gone, and after Kai told me what happened, I was still so upset. I kept thinking about how unfair it was for me, and how I was the one that got hurt.” Lloyd nodded glumly, and didn’t look at her. Nya continued, “But then I saw you out here, and I realised I hadn’t thought for a second that you might regret what you had done, that you might be upset over it. It hadn’t even occurred to me to think about anyone but myself.” 

Lloyd was watching her with wide eyes now, and she offered him a smile. “I can’t stay mad at you anymore, Lloyd.” 

Were those tears in the kid’s eyes, or simply the reflection of the sky? Nya decided not to comment on it. “I—You… really?” Lloyd asked in a voice so small, Nya almost gave in to the urge to scoot closer and bundle him up in her arms until he felt right again. 

She settled for a reassuring nod, giving the kid enough space. “Nope! No more anger here, mister,” she said, grinning when he gave a tiny chuckle. “I’m sure you already know it wasn’t okay.” Lloyd nodded, as she had expected. “And as I said, I know you regret it. I’ll let you off the hook this time.” 

“Thank you,” Lloyd breathed, slumping as all the tension seeped out of his body. Finally, he took a sip from the hot cocoa, letting out a pleasant noise of surprise as he did. He took another, heartier sip, then said. “I’m sorry for biting you.” 

Nya’s face softened. “Like I said, we’re all good now.” 

But Lloyd shook his head. “No, I… I didn’t mean to do it,” he explained, hunching over. “I was just… I was feeling so overwhelmed, and I panicked and did it out of instinct. I really didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, voice softening to almost a whisper as he finished. Nya was horrified to realise it was because there were tears in his eyes. Was he lowering his voice because he didn’t want her to realise how close to tears he was? 

“Then it was an accident,” Nya said, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder slowly, waiting until she was certain he had seen her intention before following through with it. When he leaned into the touch, Nya gave in to her instincts, scooting closer to curl her arm around his shoulders. Cole had told them all earlier to avoid touching Lloyd’s head, but it seemed as if his shoulders were open for affectionate touches. Lloyd didn’t hesitate to melt into her side, and Nya was taken aback by how cold the kid was despite the fluffy blanket over his shoulders. She couldn’t be more relieved that she had opted to set him up with enough blankets to stay warm. How had the kid avoided a cold, or even a flu, so far? 

Rather than dwell on it, she chose to appreciate the fact that Lloyd hadn’t wound up sick under their care. Or, lack thereof, before today. 

They said no more, for nothing more needed to be said between them. All that needed to be shared was company while the tears in their relationship began to weave themselves back together again, and they relaxed into one another, drinking their cocoa calmly, quietly, as Lloyd’s shivers began to subside.  

Soon, she was leading the kid back downstairs, taking the mug from his hand as she ushered him off to bed, for his eyes were becoming bleary and owlish. A smile quirked her lip as soon as she was out of the kid’s line of sight, giddiness thrumming through her veins as she set the mugs down in the sink to be cleaned at a reasonable time of the morning, that vibrant, silly giddiness that accompanied secretly leaving a gift for someone. 

When she sank into bed once more, the smile remained upon her lips, the anxiety within her chest still, mute for the moment. For once, she drifted off with ease. 

And when she stumbled through the halls the next morning, groggy with the weight of a decent sleep when she wasn’t used to such a thing, she found herself tackled by a tiny ball of black and maroon and blond. 

“Thank you,” Lloyd murmured, squeezing her waist tightly, appreciatively. 

Nya smiled, patting him on the back, noting with glee that the darkness etched beneath the kid’s eyes was lighter this morning, their weight ebbed. “Let me know if you need any more,” she said, eyes crinkling with mirth when he nodded cheerfully, squeezing her once more before bounding off. Nya watched him go with softness in her heart—softness that turned into surprise when she realised just what that warmth in her chest meant, so similar to when she thought of her brother, and how he cared for her. 

Was she beginning to think of Lloyd as her baby brother? 

Chapter Text

“Where are we going?” Lloyd asked for the umpteenth time that afternoon. Zane wondered if Lloyd thought he might catch him off-guard, the truth spilling from his lips before he could think better of it. The idea softened Zane’s heart. Despite his initial apprehension toward taking in the ‘evil’ son of their nemesis, Lloyd truly was just a child, and it was times like this, where he let his guard down, that Zane saw it more than ever. 

And despite Zane’s awkwardness around people his own age, he had always been better at interacting with children. A conspiratorial grin lifted his lips as mirth filled his chest, glittering and bubbly. “You will see,” he teased, chuckling when Lloyd pouted in defeat, eyes drifting away. Zane squeezed their joined hands—a necessity, so they didn’t wind up separated in this suffocating crowd—as a little way of saying no hard feelings, right?

Lloyd didn’t spare him a glance, but the tiny squeeze Zane received in return was more than enough. 

With a quick check of his watch, Zane began the trek through the crowd in earnest, pushing his way through the throng of people. He kept his grip on Lloyd’s hand tight as they walked the streets of Ninjago city, toward a destination only Zane knew of, ensuring the kid knew that the last thing he wanted was to lose him here; that he knew he was wanted. 

Zane hoped his little surprise would help to solidify that belief for Lloyd, hoped he would come to see it was fact, rather than a desperate hope to cling to. 

The place came into view and Zane’s lips curled into a smile, excitement thrumming in his veins like electricity. It wasn’t the flashiest place, certainly not the prettiest, but the Ninja had come here as a team after their first battle. Zane still had fond memories of the night where he had truly felt like part of a group for the first time, like part of a family for what felt like the first time—if he had before, his amnesia had swiped the memories. 

“Big Chuck’s Ditzy Diner,” Lloyd read aloud when they stopped before the place, his face twisting in confusion—and possibly slight disgust. Zane took no offence; he had done the same when Jay had effervescently recommended the place. The food and atmosphere had easily made up for the odd name and quirky look of the place, and the company of trusted friends only enriched the experience. 

“Come,” Zane said. When he tugged on Lloyd’s hand and met no resistance, he smiled to himself, hiding the softness in his expression by moving forward and pushing open the glass door to the diner. 

The loud tinkle of the bell had poor Lloyd wincing, and Zane squeezed his hand apologetically. The kid had sensitive ears, he noted. 

There was no ‘Big Chuck’ in the diner—Zane hadn’t the slightest inkling if there ever had been—but Rosy was working, as she always was when the team dropped by. Her black hair was tied back into a bun, pink streaks darting through it like shooting stars across a pitch-black sky. Her head whipped up from her note-pad when the two of them entered, a grin overtaking her features when she recognised Zane. 

“Zane!” she greeted, eyes crinkling with warmth. “The rest of the team isn’t with you today?” 

Zane shook his head. “Not today,” he said. “Instead, I have brought a special someone with me.” He pretended not to notice how Lloyd’s cheeks became dusted with a soft pink at his words. 

Rosy blinked, as if only just noticing Lloyd alongside Zane. She smiled. “Aww. And who’s this?” 

“This is Lloyd, my…” Zane hesitated, then decided to bite the bullet; if he could risk his life weekly as a ninja, then this should be a piece of cake. “My little brother.” 

Lloyd’s hand tightened considerably around his own. Zane could feel Lloyd’s eyes burning into his face, but he didn’t turn to face him, not while they had an audience. He did squeeze Lloyd’s hand in return, though, and he hoped Lloyd got his message of yes, it is true.

“Wonderful!” Rosy said, her eyes sparkling in a way that told Zane she genuinely meant it. “Well then, shall we get you two seated?” 

Zane dipped his head, ever polite. “Yes please.”

Rosy led them across the diner, and Zane chuckled as Lloyd made a face when his shoes squelched on the sticky floor—Rosy had explained to the group the first time they had visited that no, it wasn’t dirty, they cleaned it every morning and evening, it was just like that because Big Chuck used cheap vinyl tiles that retained spilled soft drink no matter how hard they mopped. She led them past rows of glossy plastic tables encircled by red booths, and past the wobbly black stools at the counter that the team had used once, then regretted when Jay had toppled off the side when the seat itself snapped. 

Finally, she stopped them at one of the final tables, next to the corner seat the team would usually fill—it was too large for just the two of them, and Zane appreciated that Rosy hadn’t felt obligated to seat them there because of his history with the diner. 

Rosy left them with two menus and a brilliant smile, promising to be back in a few minutes. As Zane opened his menu, more out of habit than because he needed to scan the options, Lloyd fidgeted, avoiding his gaze. 

Before Zane could question his behaviour, Lloyd said, “You called me your… little brother.” 

Zane smiled, wishing the kid would look at him so he could see the truth written in his eyes. “I did, yes.” 

Lloyd opened his mouth again, perhaps to ask why, but changed his mind, picking up his menu and hiding behind it. Zane’s face was beginning to ache a little from how hard he was smiling, but he paid it no mind. It seemed Lloyd had picked up the significance behind his words. Good. Although he had no issue with openly admitting that yes, Lloyd was a part of their little family now, and yes, he was their little brother, so long as he was happy with the role. 

When Lloyd spoke up again, his head poking out from atop the menu, Zane noted that his cheeks were red. He had definitely gotten the message, then. “What are we doing here?”

Zane tilted his head, confusion sparking in his chest. “We are here to eat,” he said, tone rising with curiosity. Had Lloyd never been to a restaurant before? Zane’s heart ached at the thought, and he prayed Darkley’s had taken their students out at least once. 

Lloyd nodded, face pinching with irritation. “I know that,” he huffed, and Zane winced at the realisation that Lloyd had taken his words as offensive. “I mean, why did you bring me here?” 

Oh. Did Lloyd not believe that people would want to treat him to lunch? Did he… had no one ever done something like this for him before? Why had no one done this for him? 

Zane didn’t let any of those thoughts dampen his expression. “I wanted to treat you to some lunch. I know I said we will cook together soon, but I thought it might be nice to have someone else cook for us, today.” 

Lloyd blinked, stupefied, and Zane’s heart sank as certainty settled in. No one had taken Lloyd out to eat before. 

“What would you like?” Zane asked, rather than the dozens of questions filling his mind, like why did no one take care of you? and why did your mother not do these things with you? Kai had hinted at her not being around often, but what if Kai had actually meant that she hadn’t been around at all? 

Zane pushed the thought away for later, determined to make this experience the best he could for Lloyd.  “I am thinking of getting the cheeseburger,” he said when Lloyd’s lips twisted with uncertainty. It was what the team always got together. After every battle, good or bad, they would come to the diner to get a cheeseburger, whether to celebrate or eat away their failures. It had become tradition, and Zane felt ordering anything else would be sacrilege. 

Lloyd dipped his head distractedly, more focussed on scouring the menu before him. After a long minute of debate, Lloyd said, his voice hesitant, “I’ll just get the bowl of fries.” 

Zane frowned, searching the menu for the item. It wasn’t very exciting for Lloyd’s first time out, and if Zane recalled correctly…

Zane’s face fell. It was the cheapest item on the menu. An explanation formed in the back of Zane’s mind, one that left a sour taste in his mouth: what if Lloyd was opting for the cheapest item so as to not demand too much? Did he think Zane would be mad if Lloyd chose something a little more expensive? Did he think he was on such thin ice with them all? 

Taking in a deep breath to put all the words he wanted to blurt out at ease, Zane tilted his head, pushing what he hoped was a reassuring smile onto his face. “Are you certain you do not want anything else? I am sure I can afford something a little pricier than the bowl of fries—though the $80 steak might be a little much,” he added with a chuckle. 

Lloyd’s eyes widened, the kid so obvious in his intentions it hurt Zane’s heart. It showed just how young he was, and how Darkley’s hadn’t managed to tear him apart. Lloyd turned back to the menu, fumbling now that he had been caught out. “I’ll get the… um…” 

Zane took it in stride. “You could get the cheeseburger, too,” he offered. “When we come here as a team, with Nya and Sensei, we all get the cheeseburger together,” he said, knowing Lloyd would catch on. The kid might be innocent, but he wasn’t oblivious. Sometimes, he picked up on a little too much.

Lloyd stared at him for a moment, his eyes wide, before he ducked behind the menu again. “Okay.” 

Zane grinned. Another successful mission. 

They finished their food quickly—or, Lloyd tore through his like a starved animal and Zane elected to pass a good portion of his fries over to the growing kid. He found himself comfortably full, while Lloyd fidgeted across from him, eyeing off his plate as if a fresh serving of cheeseburger and fries might appear should he watch it long enough.

Was the kid still hungry? A fierce wave of protectiveness washed over Zane, pushing at his entire being to do something to remove the discomfort from Lloyd. The sensation burned bright in his limbs, and before he knew it, his hand was raised for one of the staff members. 

“Can we get a chocolate sundae to share, please?” The words were out of his mouth before he truly processed them, the waitress already halfway across the diner before the plan fully formed in his mind. 

“A sundae?” Lloyd asked, tilting his head in that adorable way children did. 

Zane dipped his head, “Yes,” he said. “I am what they call a ‘sweet tooth’.” 

Lloyd narrowed his eyes disbelievingly, eyeing Zane up and down. He raised a brow. “I don’t believe you. You’re too…” he trailed off, and Zane smirked. 

“Too what?” he asked, daring Lloyd to continue. 

The kid rose to the challenge, eyes sparkling with mirth. “Too uptight.” 

Zane gasped dramatically, placing a hand over his chest and taking great pride in the way Lloyd dissolved into giggles, those wretched walls he had up finally beginning to drop. “You do not believe me? Shall I prove it to you? I am certain my sweet tooth is bigger than yours,” Zane boasted, smiling so wide, his cheeks were beginning to hurt. 

Lloyd’s eyes narrowed competitively. “Oh, you’re on.”

And despite Lloyd hesitating to take the first bite, the kid easily left Zane in the dust, laughing in victory when Zane relented, ‘giving in’ and allowing Lloyd to finish the sundae as his prize. 

Zane didn’t mind the teasing thrown his way. He was too focussed on watching fondly as Lloyd dug into the sundae with fervour, a chocolate moustache staining his lips. He was familiar with younger brothers—the rest of the team he considered as such, and Nya, a younger sister. But having a little brother was different. Zane loved it.

Chapter Text

Since he had become a ninja, Jay never had time to game anymore. Not properly, at least—the half an hour bursts here and there before bed did not count, when he barely had enough time to immerse himself in the game before someone else demanded the console, or Sensei kicked the door down and dragged him to bed despite the low volume of the television. 

As such, Jay refused to budge today. Everyone else was out doing their own thing, or taking the day to sleep while they could, in Cole’s case—had he not been resting, his friend would no doubt be playing with him. Sensei had been a lot more lenient with them since Lloyd’s little mishap, and Jay couldn’t help but wonder if maybe the old man was giving them all time to try and connect with Lloyd properly before they continued with the training that left them too drained to acknowledge the kid, for the most part. 

But that was just speculation. If Jay had to take another guess, he figured the old man was too busy worrying about Lloyd to focus on their training, and had put it on hold while he sorted things out. It didn’t really matter, so long as Jay got some time to game again like he used to. 

And since he was playing alone, he could draw the curtains and turn all the lights out as he liked to without complaint. Cole liked the darkness too—something about immersion, he told Jay—but Zane would begin lecturing them on the importance of light so as to not strain their eyes, and Kai would bitch and moan until they turned the lights back on, complaining about how it “affected his ability to play.” Jay knew the guy couldn’t play well for the life of him, but he’d prefer to avoid a fireball to the face, so he kept that between himself and Cole. 

He even got to kick his feet up on the table while he played, and if he closed his eyes and focussed entirely on the comfort wrapped around him like a blanket and the upbeat music, it was like he was back in his old room at his parents’ place. 

Jay opened his eyes, turning his attention back to the game. A half-finished entirely-forgotten mug of coffee sat before him, but he paid it no mind as he urged his character onwards, towards the next level—one of his favourites. Cole hated watching him play this one, described it as, “absolutely disgusting,” but Jay had no issue with the oddly-made map. Whoever decided that half the map should be inside a half-robot-half-flesh shark deserved a clap on the back for creativity, in his opinion. 

The level started up, that amazing creepy music beginning, and Jay found himself humming along as he guided the goofy bear across sewer pipes. 

As he was hopping down to the ground—safely, so he didn’t slaughter his character this early in the level—shuffling on his left caught his attention. His eyes darted over to the door momentarily, expecting to see Cole standing there, shuffling his way into the room sleepily to join Jay as he had promised he would, only to do a double-take when he realised the figure in the doorway was much too small to be Cole.

Quickly, he paused the game, offering little Lloyd a welcoming smile when the kid lingered in the doorway uncertainly. Jay hadn’t heard the kid and Zane return, but he had been fixating on this game for the better part of two hours now, so it didn’t surprise him that he had missed it. 

“Hey, bud!” Jay offered a wave, grinning when Lloyd returned it meekly. “What are you up to?” 

Lloyd shifted from one foot to another, then murmured, so quietly that Jay nearly missed it, “Bored, and I didn’t wanna be alone.” 

Understanding washed over Jay, along with pride. Lloyd was seeking him out this time, rather than hiding away in his room when he felt off. “Why don’t you come watch me?” he offered, shifting over and patting the spot beside him. 

Lloyd’s shoulders dropped in relief and he scurried over, dropping down into the space Jay had made for him. “What are you playing?” 

Jay gasped, placing a hand over his chest dramatically. “Are you telling me you’ve never heard of the one of a kind, fantastic adventure game titled Banjo-Kazooie?” 

Lloyd wrinkled his nose at Jay’s enthusiasm, and Jay snickered. “No,” he said bluntly, and damn, the kid knew how to insult with a single word. 

“Well, you’re about to,” Jay said, preparing to dump all of the lore onto the kid. If Lloyd didn’t want to chat about what was going on in his head, then Jay would simply replace all the bad thoughts with immense game lore. 

Kai had called him a good distraction, even if he was certain the intent was to insult. 

And for Lloyd’s part, he listened intently while Jay explained the story behind the game, while he took him through the incentive that had led the characters on this adventure, and the overarching goal. He talked him through the musical notes and the jigsaw pieces, and how they would help with advancing through the game.

And Lloyd. Lloyd looked interested in what Jay had to say. He watched with intrigue as Jay unpaused the game, intent on showing Lloyd each of the items one could collect in the game when an idea crossed his mind. Jay often dove into games to avoid bad thoughts when his Ma wasn’t available, so why not let Lloyd try the technique? 

“Why don’t you give it a shot, bud?” Jay offered, pausing the game again to hold out the controller for the kid. He hoped this would work for Lloyd, and if not, well at least he got to force another person into playing his favourite game. 

Lloyd took the controller hesitantly, holding it in his hands awkwardly, as if…

Had he never played a video game before? Horror dawned on Jay at the thought of someone missing out on one of his favourite pastimes, and he prayed he was wrong, and that maybe it had just been a good few months since Lloyd had last picked up a video game. 

“Um,” Lloyd began, adjusting his grip into something that looked more appropriate. Almost, but not quite right. “How do I play?” 

Jay jumped at the chance to explain, eager to shake off the devastating thought. “It’s easy,” he promised, taking the controller from Lloyd’s hands to demonstrate how to correctly hold it. “I haven’t unlocked many new abilities yet, and they’ll walk you through them when we get there.” Lloyd dipped his head, watching as Jay demonstrated how to walk and adjust the camera, how to jump and attack and run.

It wasn’t long before Lloyd had the controller back in his hands—correctly this time. The kid smoothly guided the character up ladders and across the sewer tunnels with minimal issue, quick to pick up on the attack buttons. 

“See! You’re a natural,” Jay complimented, smirking when Lloyd became flustered and looked away, pretending to focus on pushing Banjo towards the last few notes tucked away in the first area of the level. 

“Great,” Jay said, before Lloyd wasted his time hunting down non-existent notes. “Now you need to head into that pool of gross water—yuck, I know, but it leads us to the rest of the level.” Lloyd nodded, focussed. “Now see that tunnel? You have to guide Banjo through it.” 

Lloyd did as he was told without a hitch, as if this wasn’t his first time touching the game, as if he had played dozens of times before, and pride welled up in Jay’s chest. They grew up so fast. 

Lloyd paused Banjo mid-swim. “What is that?” he asked, eyes narrowed nervously as he stared at the screen. 

“Hm?” Jay squinted. “Oh! That’s Clanker. You’re not scared, are you?” he teased lightly. Jay himself had been petrified of the cyborg shark when he first came upon it, and only managed to move onwards once he scoured the internet and discovered Clanker was harmless.

“No!” Lloyd pouted, pushing Banjo closer, until they were forced to stop so Clanker could acknowledge them. “Of course not,” he added with a scoff, as if the idea was laughable. 

Clanker greeted them as it always did, announcing itself as the Witch’s ‘garbage grinder.’ 

And then it opened its mouth, displaying those awful yellowed and sharp teeth, and Lloyd let out an “eep,” and thrust the controller into Jay’s hands. 

“Do something!” He buried his face in his hands, hiding away from the sight of the shark.

Jay couldn’t help it. He dissolved into laughter, the controller falling into the space between his leg and the arm of the couch as he wheezed. He barely heard Lloyd’s growls of complaint as he wiped away tears, taking deep breaths before he became lightheaded. 

“What’s so funny? That thing is gonna kill me!” Lloyd demanded the moment he settled down. Jay noted with a snicker that the kid had one hand still covering his eyes, preventing them from darting to the side and seeing Clanker’s razor-sharp mouth again. 

Jay shook his head, picking up the controller. “No. No, it’s not. I promise,” he added when Lloyd shot him a look of disbelief. “You just reminded me of me when I first played this game,” Jay explained, before the kid could assume Jay was mocking him. “Clanker terrified me too, but I promise it’s harmless—look.” To prove his point, he finished clicking through Clanker’s dialogue, urging Banjo onward and not faltering even when Lloyd let out a whimper as the bear neared the massive cyborg shark. 

“Oh,” Lloyd said, dumbfounded, when Clanker made no move to gobble up Banjo. “It’s… fine.” 

Jay hummed, guiding Banjo over to land so he could pass the controller back to Lloyd. “I wouldn’t lie to you, bud. Scout’s honour.” 

Lloyd wrinkled his nose as he took the controller back. “You were a scout?” 

Jay absolutely had not been. “That’s a secret.” 

Lloyd rolled his eyes, but turned his attention back to the game. “So, it’s safe…?” he asked as Banjo slowly paddled toward the shark.

“Sure is, bud. Why don’t you go climb on top of it? It won’t bite, trust me.” Lloyd did, and that fuzzy and warm pride glowed in Jay’s chest again. Lloyd was trusting him. If you had asked him two weeks ago, Jay wouldn’t have cared what the kid thought of him. Had Lloyd really managed to push his way into Jay’s heart so quickly? 

Jay’s eyes widened, the thought reminding him of his little gift for the kid. “Will you be good by yourself for a sec? I need to grab something from my room.” 

Lloyd dipped his head, half-listening, more focussed on talking to Clanker now that he knew it was safe. 

Rolling his eyes fondly, Jay stood and stretched stiff muscles, before slipping out of the room. He grabbed the gift from where he had hidden it, stashed hastily under his bed so none of the others would see it and give away the surprise, plus a few blankets from the hallway closet. Jay used to get so cold while he gamed, sitting immobile for long stretches of time. After months of training, he had found himself comfortably warm most of the time, even after not moving for hours. Lloyd, however, was underweight and would most certainly start to feel cold. If he wasn’t already. 

After grabbing a couple bottles of water from the fridge when an awful dryness in his throat decided to announce itself, Jay made his way back into the living room, pushing his gift underneath the blankets so Lloyd wouldn’t catch on too early. 

“Hey, bud, I’m…” Jay trailed off when he saw Lloyd with his head buried in his hands, trembling like a leaf. “Woah, what’s wrong?” He dumped the blankets to the side and dropped the bottles onto the table, taking his place beside the kid again. He reached out a hand to place it over Lloyd’s shoulder, but tore it back when Lloyd flinched. 

Right. Not comfortable with contact at the moment. 

Lloyd mumbled something into his hands that Jay couldn’t hope to catch for the life of him. When Jay asked again, Lloyd pulled a hand away from his face to point at the screen.

“I ruined your game,” he mumbled, then hid behind his hand again. Jay’s face scrunched up with concern and confusion. He tore his eyes away from the kid with reluctance, only for understanding to flood him when he saw the ‘game over’ screen on the television. Banjo had drowned while he had been gone, when Lloyd tried to finish another underwater task. 

Jay gave a noncommittal sound. “Eh, that’s fine.” Lloyd peeked out between his fingers, eyes wide. Jay offered him a grin. “It happens, bud. You just have to start again and learn from your mistakes.” 

Lloyd lowered his hands, watching Jay cautiously. “You’re… not mad?” 

Jay frowned. “Why would I be mad?”

“But… You always yell at Cole when he messes up your games.” 

Oh. Had Lloyd heard that? Jay had never seen the kid in the room when he had been snapping at Cole. “I yell at him because he’s a bastard who does it solely to annoy me.” He rolled his eyes fondly. Cole was such an asshole. “I don’t think you had any malicious intent here, bud.” 

Lloyd shook his head quickly, not that Jay was surprised. If Lloyd had done it to mess with him, he had no doubt the kid would have that cocky smirk upon his lips; he wouldn’t be curled up like he expected to be hit for a mistake. Had someone hit him before over a simple mistake? 

The thought was like a knife through Jay’s heart. 

“Then I’ve got no reason to scold you,” Jay stated simply. 

“I… Okay.” Lloyd relented, gazing down at the remote in his lap absentmindedly. Jay realised very quickly that he hated to see the once-boisterous kid so silent, so still. 

Jay nudged Lloyd in the ribs. “Shall we try again?” 

Lloyd nodded hesitantly, as if the last thing he wanted to do was relive the anxiety he had just vanquished. But the longer he played, Jay watching alongside him and offering snarky comments and advice, the more the kid relaxed. Every time he died in-game, he became less and less nervous about it, and more and more confident that Jay wasn’t going to punish him. 

Thank the Gods.

It wasn’t until Lloyd let out a soft cough that Jay remembered the water bottles he had dumped on the table, nearly an hour ago. 

“Right!” he announced, startling Lloyd almost out of his skin. “Here, bud.” Jay passed Lloyd a bottle, unscrewing the cap from his own and taking a hearty swig—how had he forgotten about that uncomfortable tingle in his throat until now? 

Lloyd mimicked his actions, and Jay wondered if he had silently been suffering this whole time. The thought made his lips thin. Hopefully, the kid would feel more comfortable asking for things soon. 

Baby steps, he reminded himself. 

“Ah, I also got these. I used to get so cold while I played,” Jay admitted as he grabbed a hold of one of the blankets, tearing it out of the nest he had created and throwing it around Lloyd’s shoulders. Something green and squishy bumped against Jay’s leg as he did so, and he nearly smacked himself when he realised he had forgotten to give Lloyd his gift . 

Curse his traitorous brain. 

“Can you pause the game for a moment?” Jay asked, pushing the gift behind his back to draw this out. Sue him, he loved to be dramatic. 

Lloyd did as he was told, turning back to him with wide, nervous eyes, and Jay had to take a moment to breathe and remember his Ma’s words about patience. It was going to take a lot longer than an hour-long gaming session to undo the life’s worth of trauma Lloyd had under his belt. 

He could at least wait until after two long-winded gaming sessions to get impatient. 

Lloyd tilted his head, and Jay remembered he was meant to be giving his gift. He had demanded the boy’s attention and then left him in the dark. Curse his distracted brain. 

“Well,” Jay began, fidgeting with the gift as he thought through how to explain this. Why didn’t he script this days ago? “Do you remember when we were talking, and I gave you the name of my childhood toy?” 

Lloyd nodded, a flicker of understanding sparkling within his eyes—but then he looked away, as if crushing that hope, and Jay had to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t tell the kid to stop doing that!

“Well, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since then, so last time we went out I got you this!” He pulled the gift out from behind his back, presenting it to Lloyd with a flourish. The green dragon plushie turned a neon blue under the light of the television, its wings flopping down despite Jay’s attempts to set them neatly.

It took Lloyd a moment to accept the gift, as if he was having trouble accepting that this wasn’t a dream. Jay waited impatiently, biting his cheek so he wouldn’t blurt out that Lloyd just take the damn thing.

Patience. Patience. Patience, he repeated to himself in a voice that sounded suspiciously like his Ma’s. 

Finally, Lloyd took the toy, setting it in his lap and staring down at it in disbelief. “It’s…”

Jay nodded enthusiastically. “It’s your first plushie!” he announced with a grin. “I chose an extra soft and squishy one, and it can keep you company at night—or whenever you want,” he added when Lloyd began to squish the purple plates running down its neck and back. If the kid wanted to carry it around everywhere, then Jay wouldn’t give him any impression that he shouldn’t. It would make up for lost time with a plushie. 

“You have to give it a name,” Jay said when Lloyd remained silent, gazing down at the plushie in awe. 

“A name?” Lloyd finally tore his gaze away from the toy. 

Jay dipped his head. “Mine is called Mr. Cuddlywomp,” he announced without an ounce of shame, if only to see the kid’s eyes light up with mirth and bring forth a snicker from his lips. That was better. 

“Mr. Cuddlywomp,” Lloyd muttered to himself with a roll of his eyes. “Mine is going to have a much more dignified name.” And there was that snarky kid they had fought only a few weeks ago. 

Jay snorted. “And what’s that?” 

Lloyd opened his mouth to declare the dignified name, but then he paused. His brows furrowed. “I… Don’t know yet. But! It’s going to be so much better than yours.” 

Jay hummed, trying desperately to hold back laughter at the shift in attitude. Finally. “I’ll be the judge of that, bud. You better tell me as soon as you think up a name.” 

Lloyd dipped his head, curling his arms around the toy and holding it close as if he had done this hundreds of times. Had he held blankets in place of a plushie when he had been younger? 

“Okay,” Lloyd agreed. “And… thanks,” he added quietly, looking away, embarrassed. 

Jay wanted to fight whoever had made him ashamed to share gratitude. For now, he would no longer feel guilty for destroying that awful school. 

“You’re welcome,” Jay said, waving him off. “Do you wanna keep playing?” 

Lloyd shrugged. “Can I watch you?” 

“Of course!” Jay took the controller, settling down more comfortably as he unpaused the game. “You’d better prepare yourself for in-depth lore on every level, though.” 

Lloyd didn’t reply, but when Jay glanced over, he saw the kid had pulled his legs to his chest, the dragon plushie squished between them, held close. A tiny smile rested on his lips, and warmth flooded Jay’s chest at the success. Was this what it felt like to have a little brother?

Chapter Text

Lloyd held the torch he had snatched from the kitchen cupboards earlier tightly in his hands, nerves thrumming through his guts. The dragon plushie Jay had gotten him—Garm-Garm, he had called it, named after his dad, though he refused to admit that to the others—rested in his lap, a comforting presence. He would need more of its comfort if this didn’t work. 

He turned the torch over in his hands, eyes flicking up to the wall across from where he sat. The last time his dad had appeared, Lloyd had called for him and he had emerged out of the shadows. Surely, if he lit up the dark room with his torch and called for his dad again, he would come back. 

Right? 

That age-old anxiety came to life in his stomach, joining the nerves, and he cursed. His dad had told him he loved him! Why was he so worried? 

Taking in a deep breath and checking the door again—yep, still firmly shut—Lloyd flicked on the torch, heart stuttering in time with its flickering. But then a strong beam came to life, setting the wooden wall opposite him awash in gold. Now, for the moment of truth.

“Uh… Dad?” he whispered into the quiet room, his voice whisked away by the breeze drifting in through his window. Louder. He needed to be louder if he wanted his dad to hear him all the way from the shadow realm. 

“Dad!” he called out as loudly as he dared. Too much noise would alert Nya down the hall from him. The only visitor he wanted right now was the father he missed so terribly. “Dad, are you…” Lloyd trailed off, watching in awe as the shadows surrounding the circle of light began to coalesce. Excitement lit up his veins and he shifted closer in eager anticipation, his free arm curling tighter around Garm-Garm.

His dad was back!

“Lloyd!” his dad exclaimed the moment his figure had fully formed. “You’re alright—” 

“Shh!” Lloyd hushed him, eyeing off the door warily. The room went dead silent as they both watched the door, broken only when Lloyd sighed in relief. No one had awoken. 

“My son,” his dad said, his voice quieter, but no less fond. It warmed Lloyd’s heart to hear someone speaking about him in such a way, when he was used to hissed words and sharp sneers. 

“Dad,” Lloyd whispered, clutching the plushie closer in place of embracing his dad. It couldn’t compare to the real thing, but it would suffice until he could finally hug his dad. “It worked.” 

His dad nodded. “It had not occurred to me that I might be able to cross the borders between our worlds—well, somewhat,” he added with a faint huff of laughter. “It seems the ties between us allow me to hear you when you need me.” 

Lloyd elected not to mention that he had needed his dad many times, that it only worked when he called for his dad as well. He would revel in this moment, rather than ruin it by bringing up old memories. “I’m so happy to see you,” he said, setting the torch down and crawling closer to his dad. 

His father hummed happily, a hand reaching out to brush lightly over Lloyd’s head, ruffling his hair. “And I, you, my dear heart. Look how much healthier you look!” His father stepped back, his hands on his hips with what Lloyd guessed was pride. Had anyone ever been proud of him before? 

His whole body felt as if it was glowing, gold flowing through his veins and bringing a grin to his lips. “I feel a lot better,” he admitted. 

His dad nodded approvingly. “I cannot tell you how happy that makes me to hear. And who is this?” He gestured to the dragon held tightly in Lloyd’s arms, leaning closer to inspect it. 

Lloyd’s cheeks warmed, and he held the dragon closer. “My new toy. Jay got it for me,” he said, looking away when his cheeks grew hotter. “I named him Garm-Garm, after you.” 

His dad watched him for a long moment, and again, Lloyd wished he could see the man’s features, if only so he could gauge what he was thinking. Was he weirded out? Should Lloyd have kept that to himself?

“Well, I think he is wonderful,” his dad said, finally. “I hope he will protect you until I can be here for you.” 

Relief flooded Lloyd, and with a sheepish smile, he nodded. “He’s doing a good job already.” 

His dad hummed. “And you said Jay got it for you?” He looked around again, slow and thoughtful, taking in the wooden walls of the Ninja’s ship. 

“Yeah,” Lloyd said. “I… I thought about what you said, and I decided to come back. You were right when you said they’re good people.” He wouldn’t mention his almost-meltdown when they had crowded him upon his return, nor would he mention the guilt still thrumming in his chest—he hadn’t yet apologised to Kai. And his dad did not need to know about how much crying he had done over the past few days. 

But there were some things Lloyd needed to know. 

“I’m glad I get to see you again,” Lloyd began, and it was true. It was a relief to see his dad again, and to know that the man still loved him. “But I wanted to ask you a few things.” 

“What is wrong, my dear heart?” His dad asked immediately, crouching down by his side worriedly. 

Lloyd shook his head. “Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to know a few things about the whole, you know.” He waved a hand over his head, where his tiny horns rested, hidden beneath his hair, and he flicked his tail about behind him. 

“Ah. Of course.” His dad gestured for him to continue, settling down cross-legged in front of Lloyd. The action, oddly enough, was comforting. It made the whole interaction feel less formal—it made him feel like an equal with his father. 

“Why are we… different?” Lloyd asked, settling on the word. Better than saying weird or freakish. He had a feeling his dad would lecture him for speaking about himself in such a way. 

“I did not realise you would not know,” his dad said, raising a hand to his chin, upset. “It is because we are not fully human.” 

Lloyd blinked. He stared at his dad. And stared. His dad didn’t laugh and write his words off as a joke, nor share some other, perfectly logical explanation for this that involved them still being normal. 

He wasn’t human. 

“I’m… we’re not?”

His dad shook his head. “No. I am sorry I could not be here to explain this to you sooner. I am sure it would have made things easier,” his dad muttered woefully. “I am half-human. The other half is part Oni, and part Dragon.” 

Part what? And Dragon? Lloyd looked down at the toy in his lap, comparing himself to it. But his tail didn’t have the same point, and it was so much fluffier…

“By that standard, you are about three-quarters human, with the remaining quarter part Oni, and part Dragon, like your Pops.” 

Lloyd was glad he was sitting down; his head went light and fuzzy, and for a moment he wondered if this was a weird dream brought on by stress. But then, it made sense. Of course he wasn’t fully human; he had horns and a tail, for the Gods sake! 

“I…” Lloyd took in a deep breath, uncertain as to what to say. What could he say? 

“It is a lot to process,” his father said, patient and understanding, grounding where Lloyd needed him to be. “I wish you could have known sooner, rather than have it come as a shock now. It looks like you have an even distribution of your Oni-Dragon side,” his dad commented thoughtfully. 

Lloyd shook away his shock—he could process it later, once his no-doubt dwindling time with his dad was over. He took his tail into his hands to inspect it, but he wasn’t sure what he was looking for, so he let it fall into his lap and looked to his dad for clarification. 

“With these shadows, it is hard to tell, but my Oni side shows more, as it is the side of us connected to destruction—our Dragon side is connected to creation,” he clarified when Lloyd tilted his head curiously. “Due to the evil running through my veins, I grew into my Oni side more, as the creation within me was crushed.” 

Lloyd nodded, noting how where his tail was soft and curled, his dad’s was pointed, and it twisted at odd, stiff angles. Sharp. Destructive. 

It was a lot to take in. He had millions more questions regarding the whole being-part-Oni-part-Dragon thing, but he needed some time to process the fact that he wasn’t human before he was ready to learn more. 

But his other question couldn’t wait. 

“One more thing,” Lloyd began, pushing the other questions to the side for later. Next time, when he was ready. 

His dad dipped his head, waiting patiently, and Gods, Lloyd wished he had had this when he was younger, wished he could have had his dad around to listen to him vent and to give advice, a patient, sturdy rock he had desperately needed. 

“When you first showed me your whole”—he gestured vaguely to his dad’s head and the tail resting alongside him—“you made them appear out of thin air. Can I make mine disappear too?” He had wondered about this from the moment his dad had shown him his horns and tail. Was it something Lloyd could do too, or had his dad simply been manipulating the shadows? 

But his dad nodded again, and wonderful hope bubbled to life in Lloyd’s chest. Could he really look normal again? If he could, then the others would never find out, and they would have no reason to throw him to the kerb!

“Of course. Your grandfather could, as can I. I have no doubt you will possess this ability too. It is just… a bit finicky to learn.” His dad sighed then, looking away woefully. “I only wish I could properly be here to teach you. After all you have been through, you deserve an easy transition.” 

His words hit Lloyd like a hammer, and he had to lower his gaze when his vision blurred, tears burning in his eyes. He had heard pity before, from villagers as he trudged on by, so blatantly homeless that it hurt. They had muttered things like, “Oh, that poor, poor kid.” And, “He won’t make it through the winter,” with those mournful shakes of their heads. But not once had someone sounded so upset at what he had lost. Not once had someone felt bad for him, and not just at him. Not once had someone actually wanted to help him; normally, people would avert their eyes quickly and hurry away. 

He wasn’t used to having his awful experiences validated. 

When he said nothing, unable to speak lest he sob and worry his dad further, the man continued, “It… is not an easy task to adjust to. You must imagine these parts of you slipping into a different realm. It is like… placing them into a drawer and pulling them out again when you wish—once they are gone, you will have no trouble keeping them gone again until you wish for them back—although I must warn you that it can be uncomfortable to keep them away for extended periods of time.” 

Lloyd stared blankly at his dad. “So… I just need to imagine they’re gone, and they’ll go?” 

His father tilted his head, as if to say not quite. “It is a little bit more difficult than that. You need to pull them out of this realm and onto another. It requires a physical tug, of sorts, that will take some practice.” 

“A… tug?” 

“Yes. First, you need to acquaint—” The torchlight flickered, and his dad’s form disappeared for a moment. 

Lloyd’s stomach dropped. “Dad?” 

The shadows coalesced again, his dad now hunched over and breathing raggedly, as if it had taken all of his power to return. “Ah, I am sorry, my dear heart. It is not easy to stay in this realm. Even more so to drag myself back.” 

Lloyd let out a worried sound, scooting closer. “You don’t have to push yourself for… to be here,” he finished hesitantly. He was certain his dad knew what he had intended to say, for he shook his head.

“Nonsense. I want to be here, so long as my body allows it.” Lloyd smiled, squeezing his plushie tighter. He would never get tired of his dad saying he wanted to be with him. 

“Thanks, dad.” 

“Of course, my dear heart.” His dad ruffled his hair—as much as his shadow-form could—again, and Lloyd leaned into the feather-light touch. The torch flickered again, tearing a knife of anxiety through Lloyd’s chest, but it remained on this time.

“Your device appears to be dying,” his father noted, weariness in his voice. “We do not have long. Dwell on my words, think about what they mean to you and how you can utilise them, my love.” His dad lowered his hand to cup Lloyd’s cheek. His head tilted slightly, and Lloyd’s heart skipped a beat when he realised his father was watching him fondly. “It will take some practice, but you are tough, and I know you can do this.”

“Thanks, dad. I… I love you.” 

His dad hummed softly. “I love you too. I will speak to you again soon.” And then the torch flickered out again. This time, it didn’t come back on.

Despite his dad’s advice, and his tender, comforting words, Lloyd’s chest still felt hollow at their time being cut short, at his father’s absence. 

He missed him already. 

But he could talk to him again! He knew what to do now, and so long as he gave his dad a chance to recharge, they would be speaking again soon. This was so much better than their letters to one another.

Lloyd crawled into bed, exhaustion settling over him along with his blankets. Now that the excitement of seeing his dad again had faded, he was exhausted. 

In the morning, he could practise hiding his tail and horns. For now, he would sleep, Garm-Garm held tightly to his chest.

Chapter Text

“I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!” Okay. Kai knew the song was cheesy, if not outright awful. But sue him, it was catchy and it boosted his mood faster than taking out his anger on the training dummies could.

Don’t tell Jay that or he’ll never hear the end of it.

“I am a superstar and I don’t care who you are!” He twirled around, pointing at his reflection in his mirror and winking. The horribly upbeat instrumental followed, and he did the same silly dance he always did, shaking his hips in a way that would make Nya groan and cover her eyes. The thought made him snicker. 

“I got a plane,” he sang along, terribly off-tune. Another thing Nya pretended to hate. “I love the—” A knock on the door tore him away from the music and he paused, one hand on his hip, the other about to shoot into the air like all the rock stars did. 

Another knock, as if worried he hadn’t heard the first over his music, and Kai grinned. That had to be Nya, coming to mock him before she inevitably joined him in his terrible dancing. 

Hey, it got rid of the stress upon their shoulders! It was a Jiang-Smith tradition they had made together, and Kai would die before he gave it up.

He sashayed over to the door, knowing his sister would hear the movement and already be rolling her eyes. Humming along to the music, he allowed a smirk to take over his features as he pulled open the door. Leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms, he stared down at his sister.

Only, it wasn’t his sister knocking at his door. It was Lloyd. 

Kai righted himself immediately, the smirk and his arms falling. “Lloyd,” he said dumbly, uncertain as to how to proceed. The kid had never sought him out like this before, and Kai hadn’t expected him to do so when he looked so downtrodden. Had someone upset the kid and he wanted his big brother to sort it out?

Kai had to resist the urge to crack his knuckles at the thought, if only to not unsettle Lloyd when he looked so nervous. 

Lloyd looked past him, nose wrinkling at the music—Oh Gods, the music was still playing. 

“Ah, one sec.” Kai slipped back into his room, leaving the door open for Lloyd. He rushed to turn the music down, leaving it at a significantly lower volume. “Come on in.” Kai waved for him to follow, leaning back against his desk casually to hide the worry in his chest. 

Lloyd edged his way inside, avoiding Kai’s gaze. 

“What’s up?” Kai asked when a long moment passed and Lloyd made no move to talk. Clearly, he had come here for a reason, needed Kai for something. Lloyd just needed a little nudge to get him talking. 

“I’m… Uh…” Lloyd hunched in on himself, and Kai pursed his lips, concern thrumming against his chest. He moved past the kid to push the door closed. Maybe some privacy would help him find the words he wanted to say. 

From the appreciative look Lloyd shot him, Kai had guessed right.

“I’m sorry,” Lloyd began, and if possible, Kai’s brows knitted further. “I was mean to you the other day, and I never said sorry for it.” Oh. Kai had forgotten Lloyd’s snappiness the other day, too busy focussing on the whole running away because he felt unwanted thing to remember such a minute detail. 

“So, I’m sorry I was mean,” Lloyd said again, lowering his gaze and clutching one arm tightly and looking so much like an exhausted, wounded puppy that even if Kai had been furious with the kid, he would have forgiven him immediately. 

And he almost said as such, when an idea popped to life in his mind, making him smirk. “I’ll forgive you,” he began, mirth fluttering in his chest at his intentions when Lloyd looked at him hopefully. “If”—Lloyd’s face fell, and for a second, Kai felt immense guilt slam into him—“If you dance with me.” 

The distraught look on Lloyd’s face disappeared, replaced by confusion. “I—dance with you?” 

Kai couldn’t help it. He snorted, dissolving into wheezing laughter. The kid looked so lost, so out of place, as if he wasn’t used to the odd requests wronged siblings would demand for repent. As if he wasn’t used to such a domestic situation. That thought sank into him like a sucker punch and Kai sobered up quickly. 

“Yep!” he announced, drifting back over to his CD player. He flicked through his CDs, pushing aside the old albums in favour of picking one of the mixtapes Cole had burned for him the moment he realised Kai had access only to the same 3 albums from the 70s. Most of the tapes had songs from the 70s and 80s anyway, but Kai would never risk his newfound access to new music, and as such never commented when Cole presented him with a new mixtape. 

He picked up the disc titled ‘Royalty,’ an idea already in mind. With Lloyd’s past, Kai doubted he had heard much music, if any. What better way to introduce the kid to one of Kai’s favourite things than with some classic ABBA? 

He replaced the old disc with ‘Royalty,’ stepping away once the top was closed with a click. The song he wanted was the first track on the mix. Now, he just needed to get the kid ready while it read the disc. 

“Ready?” Kai asked, rolling his eyes when Lloyd shuffled from one foot to the other nervously. 

“I don’t know how to dance,” Lloyd mumbled. 

Kai hummed, grabbing the kid’s hands in his own, not noticing the way he jumped. “I figured. Here, I’ll lead.” 

The kid made a face at the contact, one which soured even further when the music started playing, light and jovial. “What is this?” he demanded, nose scrunching when the group began to sing, you can dance, you can jive. 

“Shush. It’s a classic. Now follow my lead.” Kai stepped back with his right foot. “Now you step forward with your left to fill in that space. There you go, good job!” he complimented when Lloyd followed the instruction, his gaze down on their feet, tongue sticking out as he focused. A tiny smile worked its way onto his lips and Kai beamed, his whole body feeling as if it had been set alight with energy.

“Now I step forward and you go back.” Lloyd followed his lead smoothly, much to Kai’s delight. The kid was a quick learner. “Perfect!” he complimented. “Now, we want to try and do that in time with the beat, and with a bit of a bop if we can. Follow my lead.” Kai stepped back with his right foot again, and Lloyd followed smoothly. On the second movement he faltered and stepped on Kai’s foot. 

“Sorry!” Lloyd let go of his hands, stepping back and raising his arms as if worried Kai might…

Kai inhaled sharply. “Woah, hey. It’s okay. You’re still learning, it was bound to happen.” When Lloyd made no move to join him again, Kai said, “Besides, you weigh so little, it was like an ant stepped on me.” 

That got the kid to snicker, his arms dropping to his sides again. “I’ll try harder next time,” Lloyd said, and Gods, it was like being threatened by an adorable puppy. 

“I’d like to see you do some damage, short stuff,” Kai retorted as Lloyd finally took his hands again. 

Kai restarted the song, and this time, despite his threats, Lloyd didn’t step on his foot until they were a good minute into the song, just as the chorus was beginning.

You are the dancing queen, young and—

“Sh…ut the front door,” Kai quickly amended before he swore in front of a child. Then, when he saw Lloyd’s horrified face had returned, he quickly added, “Felt like a cat treading on my foot.” A cat that weighed 25 kilos and made it its sole mission to crush his foot. But he wouldn’t tell Lloyd that. 

“Sorry,” Lloyd said with a wince. 

“S’fine. Once more?” 

This time, they made it through the song, much to Kai’s delight. The kid was learning!

“Good job!” Before he could think twice about what he was doing, he lifted the kid’s arm up, pulling him into a spin. Lloyd stumbled with a shriek, nearly falling on his face, unprepared as he was, but Kai caught him in time with a hand on his shoulder. “Oops, sorry. Got a bit excited, heh.” 

“What was that?” Lloyd asked once he had caught his breath, eyes alight with intrigue. 

Nya had always loved the spins, too. “A spin. It’s popular in partner dances.” At least he thought it was. They had only had a few old tapes back at home, and Kai had learned everything he knew from the black and white films. He liked to think he was pretty good. 

“Can we do it again?” Lloyd asked, eyes shimmering with excitement, and for a moment, Kai was transported back to the first time he had tried to teach Nya to dance. Her eyes had lit up in the same way when he showed her the spin. 

A fond smile quirked his lips. “Absolutely. Let’s try again, and this time, I want you to try and move a little more to the beat, too, okay?” Lloyd dipped his head, shaking in place with how excited he was. Gods, Kai had missed that childish excitement. 

The song was restarted, and they took their places again, Lloyd holding Kai’s hands a little too tightly. He wouldn’t mention it and ruin the kid’s enthusiasm. 

“And step, back and forth, back and forth,” Kai said, leading them into the dance. He began to sway a little more with the music, adding a bounce to his step, and Lloyd mimicked him after a moment, picking it up so easily, so quickly, that pride threatened the burst free from Kai. “And, spin in three, two…” Kai raised his hand again, and this time, Lloyd was ready. The kid spun smoothly, but overstepped and nearly fell—Kai was quick to catch and right him, falling back into their steps without a hitch. Lloyd shot him a grateful smile, lowering his gaze again to focus on the steps. 

Lloyd was ready for the second spin, and executed it near-perfectly, with only a slight stumble as he eased himself back into their steps, trying to keep in time with Kai. 

“And…last spin!” Kai twirled the kid around once more as the song ended, and Lloyd let out a shriek of laughter as he spun. “Now pose.” Kai put a hand on his chin, pasting a cocky smirk on his face. 

Lloyd dissolved into breathless giggles, much to his delight. 

“Now, you’re all forgiven,” Kai said with a wink once Lloyd had caught his breath. 

That sobered the kid up, to Kai’s horror. “Uh… thanks.” Lloyd lowered his gaze shamefully. 

Kai huffed. “None of that. We were having fun.” He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, more so when Lloyd looked as if he had been slapped. 

Stop treating him like Nya, he chided himself. They were similar, but Lloyd wasn’t Nya. He needed to treat him appropriately. 

Kai cleared his throat. “Ah, I mean…” Shit, he was scrabbling for ideas. The more he scrambled for something, the longer he looked at Lloyd, and the more he realised that the kid looked exhausted again. Was he still not sleeping well? 

Kai cleared his throat. “Man, I could use some tea after all that dancing. Did you want to come with?” 

Lloyd blinked at the sudden change in topic. “I… Okay. I wouldn’t mind some chamomile…” And yep, there it was. Kai had been right: the kid was exhausted. He wondered just how little sleep he had managed to snag last night, but dismissed the thought immediately when his heart began to pang painfully. Hopefully, Lloyd would become more comfortable coming to Kai when he needed help with his insomnia soon.

“You do look dead on your feet,” Kai blurted, before he could stop himself. 

Damn it, Kai. 

“Hey! How about I give you a piggyback ride? Wouldn’t want you to step on my foot again,” he added jokingly, cursing himself and his stupid impulsiveness. 

Get it together, Kai. For the kid. 

Thankfully, Lloyd’s shoulders slumped in relief and he nodded. “Only if you’re strong enough to carry me,” he said, tone light and teasing. 

Kai let out a bark of laughter, thanking the Gods that Lloyd hadn’t taken his words the wrong way. “You? It’ll be like carrying a handful of grapes on my back. Hop on.” He crouched down, holding his arms out behind him and gesturing for Lloyd to hurry up.

To his credit, Lloyd didn’t hesitate to jump onto Kai’s back, tearing an oof from Kai as he was pushed forward. He recovered quickly, latching onto the kid’s legs and wrapping them around his waist, while Lloyd curled his arms around Kai’s shoulders to keep himself upright. 

“Heavier than you thought, huh?” Lloyd snarked when Kai stood too quickly and staggered.

Kai huffed and righted himself, beginning the short walk to the kitchen. “Nope. Still feels like I’m carrying a mouse on my back.” 

Lloyd mumbled something that no doubt would have earned him a smack over the head from Sensei. But then his arms tightened around Kai’s neck slightly, his chin moving closer to rest on Kai’s shoulder. A tired sigh left him, and Kai realised with a start that the slight rocking over his walking was lulling the kid to sleep. A fond smile overtook his features. Better take the long way to the kitchen, then. 

And by the time they reached the kitchen, Lloyd was snoring softly, his head resting against Kai’s. 

Chapter Text

His tail was numb. It felt similar to when he smacked his wrist on something in just the right place and that awful, tingling sensation dashed up his arm like electricity. His horns felt a little weird too, but Lloyd’s focus was on the tail for now. 

He had been spending his mornings—and now evenings, too—working hard on utilising his dad’s advice and working on hiding his tail and horns—or, shifting them to another plane, or whatever his dad had said. He had been trying all week with his horns to no avail, and so today had been dedicated to working on his tail. The thing was getting a little too venturesome, trying to fling itself out of his pants anytime anything exciting happened so it could swing back and forth with the excitement rushing through his veins. If he didn’t do something about it soon, he would give away his secret in the dumbest way possible. 

Closing his eyes, Lloyd focussed on the sensation, grinning when it spread farther, all along his tail. And then…

Then what? His dad had said some sort of tug was required to pull them away from sight, but how in all of Ninjago was he meant to do that? He hadn’t the slightest inkling of where to start, now that he had successfully mastered the first part. Unless this tingling sensation was what his dad meant? 

Lloyd turned, hope drooping with his tail when he saw the thing was still there. That wasn’t it. 

A sigh escaped him and he slumped, collapsing onto his bed. He had been at this for an hour now with no luck. If his dad was here to guide him, he might be able to succeed, but he couldn’t bother his dad yet again. He didn’t want to be too much of a nuisance. 

But Lloyd couldn’t do this on his own. He just… wasn’t good enough. The thought made him wince, sending a pang of self-loathing through his chest that made his wrists itch. 

Lloyd swallowed thickly, pushing himself to his feet. He needed a break and a distraction. Pronto. 

And his distraction came quickly; as soon as he stepped out of his room, he ran headfirst into Cole. The other was quick to latch onto Lloyd’s shoulder when the force behind their collision sent Lloyd staggering back. 

“Oh sh…oot. Sorry, Lloyd.” Cole was quick to right him, letting go as soon as Lloyd was steady, wary of touching him without permission. Lloyd didn’t mind so much, now that he knew they wanted him, but he appreciated the thought, appreciated that someone wanted him to be comfortable.

“Did you need me for something?” Lloyd asked, looking past Cole, eager for what he hoped was the distraction he had prayed for. 

Cole dipped his head, much to Lloyd’s glee. “Thought I’d come ask if you wanted to meet Rocky.”

Lloyd tilted his head. “Rocky?” 

“Yeah. Haven’t I told you about him?” 

Lloyd shook his head. He couldn’t recall ever hearing about a ‘Rocky.’ He guessed he was some sort of pet, by the way Cole was talking about him. 

Cole’s lips pulled back into a grin. “Oh, you are in for a treat, buddy. Come on.” Cole turned on his heel and began to lead the way, not one for dawdling. Lloyd hurried to catch up to him, his short legs not doing him any favours when it came to matching Cole’s pace. 

Cole led him up onto the deck, grabbing a bucket full of odd supplies Lloyd had never noticed before: a massive scrubber, and some sort of bottle… soap? Then, Cole took them down the plank and off of the Bounty entirely. Lloyd frowned as they continued into the desert, glancing back at the Bounty and wondering where Cole was keeping this pet—Cole seemed like a dog person, but why would he keep it off of the Bounty? And why had Lloyd never heard any barking? 

After a good few hundred metres, Cole stopped them in the middle of the desert. The heat bore down on them as they stood out in the open, and Lloyd wiped his brow with a huff. Was Cole messing with him?

He wasn’t planning on leaving Lloyd here, right? 

As nerves sunk into his chest, Cole raised two fingers to his lips and blew, a high-pitched whistle ringing out and making Lloyd cringe, smacking his hands over his ears. 

“Oops. Sorry, bud. Sensitive ears?” Instinctively, Lloyd nodded before he had even processed the words. 

Cole hummed apologetically. “You might want to keep your ears covered for this.” 

Lloyd shot him a curious look, beginning to lower his hands when Cole shook his head, mimicking placing his hands over his ears. With a frown, Lloyd did as he was told—and just in time, as an almighty roar pierced the air, making him jump. The sound was muffled by his palms, and he shot Cole an appreciative smile. 

Cole nodded, then pointed behind Lloyd. When Lloyd followed his arm, he saw—

A dragon. 

Lloyd stumbled back fearfully from the beast that was easily fifty times his size. He tucked himself away behind Cole, but the man didn’t look concerned in the slightest; he spread his arms as the dragon neared, as if to greet the beast.

Surely, this wasn’t Cole’s pet.

But then the dragon landed, knocking Cole down with one of its mighty paws. Lloyd jumped back with a terrified eep, but Cole only laughed, punching lightly at the dragon’s paw.

“There you are, Rocky!” Cole greeted, easily shoving the paw off of his chest once he had had enough. “Hm, a little weak today, are we?”

The dragon, Rocky, let out a grunt, and Lloyd flinched when the sound morphed into something he could understand.

Not feeling too well. Another grunt. But I could take you on any day. 

Had it not been for the confusion and terror mingling together within his stomach, Lloyd would have laughed at the banter. But for now, he was more focused on the fact that his brain could apparently understand what those vague grunts and growls meant. 

His father’s words drifted through his mind: “You are three-quarters human, with the remaining quarter part Oni, and part Dragon.”

Right. Lloyd swallowed as the information he had yet to properly process hovered over him tauntingly. He was part dragon. A part of him was related to this massive beast before him, though Lloyd saw no similarities between himself and Rocky.

Were there different kinds of dragons? 

Was his heritage why he could understand the dragon? 

Cole’s voice drew him away from his thoughts, and Lloyd realised the guy had moved closer to Rocky, his arms now looped around the dragon’s forearm—they barely made it the entire way around. “You’re feeling a little warmer than usual, Rocky. And you’re moving pretty slow. Are you doing alright?” Even without the ability to comprehend what Rocky was saying, Cole could understand what the dragon needed. He had to be close to the dragon to read him so easily. 

Lloyd wondered what that would be like, to have someone get you so well that not even language barriers could hold you back. 

Rocky shook his head forlornly and Cole clicked his tongue in thought. “Alright, bud. The usual?” Another nod from the dragon, and then Cole turned around to meet Lloyd’s eye, a conspiratorial grin on his face. “So. Want to learn how to care for a sick dragon?” 

Lloyd had only a second to utter an intelligent, “Uh,” before Cole latched onto his hand and dragged him away. 

*

Lloyd’s body ached. Muscles he hadn’t even known existed hurt, and muscles he did have knowledge of felt as if they were seconds away from tearing themselves from his body and abandoning ship. Walking alongside him, Cole looked no worse for the wear, as if the four hours they had just spent trudging through ponds and dredging up mud to splatter over Rocky’s rough scales meant nothing to him.

The mud apparently soothed the worst of Rocky’s symptoms—something about earth dragons being surrounded by their element. Dried mud clung better to his scales than the thin smatters of dust and dirt, Rocky had explained to Cole. Not that Cole could understand the dragon. Cole had shared with Lloyd his first time dealing with a sick Rocky, how the dragon had, with Cole’s super-strength to help, dragged himself to the nearest pool of water and begun sloshing mud all over himself. 

At the moment, Lloyd couldn’t care less about that interesting piece of information, nor did he have the energy to dwell on what other elemental dragons might like, not when his eyelids kept drooping and his muscles ached deeply. 

Finally, after what felt like aeons trudging through the desert, they clambered back onto the Bounty, Lloyd making a beeline for the shower before Cole could try and sneak in first. He washed every speck of dirt from his body, taking special care to lather his tail in soap until the fur there was sparkling clean and, hopefully, soft and fluffy once he dried it. Having a tail wasn’t easy, but Lloyd couldn’t deny that he loved running his fingers through the soft fur when he was alone. 

By the time he finished eating dinner—courtesy of Zane stopping him in the hallway, right outside his door, and dragging him into the kitchen with a stern eye—Lloyd was ready to sleep for an eternity. 

Once his bedroom door was closed tightly, Lloyd freed his tail from his pants, relishing in the freedom as it lashed about behind him, rejoicing. He collapsed onto the nest of blankets Nya had set up for him, a million times more inviting than his miserable mat and thin blanket. 

He closed his eyes and was out like a light. 

Knocking tore him away from the peaceful slumber he had drifted off into, exhaustion leaving no space for dreams. And with wakefulness came the pain. 

A soft whimper escaped Lloyd as he peeled open sticky, tired eyes. Every muscle in his body ached, more so than it had yesterday; if they had been on fire yesterday, then today, they felt as if they had been dropped into magma. Every minute shift brought a ripple of lightning snapping through his body. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he was so cold—but then, why was he sweating?

Lloyd tried to take in a deep breath to hopefully calm down whatever was possessing his body, only to find out he couldn’t: his nose was stuffy and blocked, and so he had to gulp in air through his mouth. 

It didn’t help. If anything, it only made him aware of his lungs, and how they felt as if they were on fire.

Another whimper escaped him, one that morphed into a weak cough, and despite the agony rippling across his muscles, he curled up into a tight ball, tail wrapping around his legs—and how did that hurt too? 

“Lloyd?” He barely heard the call over the cotton stuffed into his ears, and a part of him wondered if he had heard anything at all, or if he was losing his mind amidst the pain. Probably. Maybe if he stayed here, stayed in bed, this awful whatever-it-was would go away and he could go back to spending time with the Ninja. It was nice, now that he was less worried about them tossing him aside like trash. 

“Oh, bud…” 

Lloyd peeled open an eye, turning his head just far enough to see a blue blur behind him. Jay…? Lloyd could just make out Jay’s mop of curly brown hair if he squinted. What was Jay doing here? 

Another ripple of pain coursing through his body, and Lloyd decided it didn’t matter. He had bigger issues to deal with. Jay would have to wait. 

Letting his head fall back down against the pillow, Lloyd curled up tighter, hoping that maybe, if he made himself small enough, this weird thing ailing him would lose sight of him and give up in its attacks. Then he could figure out why Jay was here.

Jay let out an odd sound, like a wounded animal. It almost made Lloyd turn to check up on him, if it wasn’t for the fire crawling through his veins. “Is everything alright?” Jay’s voice was close, much closer than Lloyd had expected it to be. 

With a soft eep, he jumped—and then let out a groan when every muscle in his body protested against the action. 

Jay inhaled sharply, leaning closer to— 

Oh. Jay’s hand felt so cold against his cheek, so soothing, a brilliant light in the darkness, a reprieve from the pain wracking his frame. 

Jay cursed, and had Lloyd not been potentially on the brink of death, he would have snickered. “You’re burning up. We gotta get these layers off of you.” 

Very faintly, Lloyd was aware that he was shaking his head. Jay’s hand felt so nice and cool over his skin, but he was still shivering, and Jay would have to take these blankets from his cold dead hands. He might have even let out a groan and a weak, whiny, “No.” 

If he did, Jay either didn’t hear it, or he didn’t care for it. He latched onto Lloyd’s precious blankets and yanked them away without a hitch, Lloyd’s weak arms offering no resistance. 

“You need to cool down, bud. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but—What is that?” Jay’s voice turned into a shriek at the end, and Lloyd whimpered again, his ears throbbing at the sound. Ow. The guy had a shocking pair of lungs on him. 

What was he even shouting about? On what planet could he possibly have a reason for shouting? 

A loud thump made Lloyd cringe again, and when he risked turning to inspect what was going on behind him, he saw Jay had slipped over the blankets piled on the floor. His face had contorted with shock and… horror? Lloyd couldn’t tell; he had never been the best at reading facial expressions. 

Jay’s eyes weren’t meeting his own. They were dead-set on something near his waist. 

Something around his waist, his tail now out in open air for the world to see. Panic tore through the foggy haze of his mind and he jolted up, hissing when his ribs flared in protest. 

He opened his mouth to try and tell Jay this was a dream, to do something, but all that came out was empty air, and he was left floundering, mouth opening and closing like a dying fish because he couldn’t figure out what to say when it was clearly too late to try and fix this and oh Gods this was it, this was where they realised he was a monster and threw him to the kerb. 

And then, as if to make things worse, everyone else aboard the Bounty came tumbling in, concerned when Jay had shouted—or, in Kai’s case, more probably interested in seeing Jay embarrass himself. They were quick to spot Jay on the floor, and even quicker to follow his gaze over to Lloyd, to his tail still out in the open for the world to see.

And just as quick, their expressions turned to horror, to shock—to… disgust? Lloyd guessed it was disgust. 

He was crying before he had time to process it, blubbering out desperate pleas before his mind caught up with his body, panic thrumming beneath his skin and tearing the breath from his lungs. “’m sorry, please don’t leave me, don’t hurt me, ‘m sorry.” He kept rambling on, the string of words slurring together until he wasn’t certain what he was saying any longer, only that this was it, and he needed to do something to try and get them to let him stay or he would never forgive himself. 

He faintly heard someone say something urgently, but the words were muffled by the cotton in his ears. Were they preparing to toss him out? 

Oh Gods, he was going to be alone again. 

The realisation was a kick to the gut, panic making his hands and feet go cold and numb and leaving his head buzzing—but then something warm and heavy wrapped around his shoulders. The sensation was jarring, a startling difference to the frigid panic humming through his veins. Lloyd froze under it, the feeling so similar to…

To a hug. 

But it couldn’t be, right? He couldn’t quite tell, when his vision was blurred by thick tears and he was too terrified to raise his gaze and meet the hate-filled eyes of those he had come to think of as friends, as… maybe a family. A potential family. 

Something cold was pressed against his forehead and instinctively, Lloyd sighed, leaning into the coolness, a reprieve from the heat wrapped around him despite how he shivered. Between the comforting weight around his shoulders, the coolness pressed against his forehead, and the exhaustion clinging to his bones, it didn’t take long for Lloyd to pass out. 

*

Lloyd woke up several times, though he didn’t remember much from these bouts of wakefulness. The coolness was always pressed against his forehead, and he thought he was lying down now? But he couldn’t remember doing that. He heard voices in passing, though he could never make out what they were saying—or if he had managed to, he couldn’t remember it. 

When he finally awoke fully, he felt a million times better. Not perfect, but better than he had the last time he had been fully conscious. He still felt off, chills wracking his frame and making him shiver. His head still felt cottony, and his ears buzzed unpleasantly and clicked everytime he moved his jaw. But his muscles weren’t on fire any longer, and he didn’t feel as if he was about to melt into a puddle. 

It was something, and he would take it. 

He didn’t have the energy to push himself up into a seated position—and if he miraculously managed that, then the coolness on his forehead would no doubt fall off and his arms would be too tired from pushing his sluggish body up to place it back on his head. Instead, he let his head flop to the side, trading the wooden ceiling of the room he was in for hopefully an answer about his whereabouts. His ceiling was one he was very familiar with after many days and nights staring at it. This one was much too polished to be his, and it didn’t have that one knot in the wood that looked like a rabbit. 

The first thing he noticed, with a jolt of surprise, was Cole. The guy sat in a chair, one foot lifted up to rest on his other leg’s knee, a book resting over his calf. His eyes kept flitting back up the page every few seconds, as if he was too distracted to focus on the words and kept needing to restart. But what was Cole so distressed about? And why was he here with Lloyd? Wherever here was. 

“Cole?” he rasped out, determined to get some answers so his head might stop spinning with confusion—and Gods, his throat was dry and his voice weak. What had happened? 

Cole jumped, the book flying from his lap and onto the floor. Cole didn’t seem to notice it, his wide eyes more focused on Lloyd. Lloyd shifted uneasily under the attention. Had he done something wrong? Had something happened? 

“Lloyd!” Before he could react to the startling shout, arms were thrown around him, drawing him close to Cole’s chest for another one of those strong and protective embraces. And who was Lloyd to deny a hug? 

Leaning into the embrace came easily, the desire to be closer, to be held tighter, overwhelming. His tail curled around Cole too, as if determined to pull him even closer, and his horns—

Lloyd’s eyes snapped open and he tore away from Cole. Oh, Gods, his horns had been digging into Cole’s shoulder, and he had no doubt the guy would have felt Lloyd’s tail twisting around his arm, and now he could see the damn thing. 

Cole could see Lloyd was a monster. 

His breathing picked up, his lungs refusing to properly take in air as if they had been kicked, or crushed entirely. He scrambled back, ignoring the way his aching body protested at the action in favour of pushing himself away—and back into the corner of the bed.

He was trapped. He couldn’t run, not like this, not against a trained ninja. Lloyd was done for. 

Cole’s eyes widened in—disgust, or maybe malice? Lloyd couldn’t tell when his vision was going hazy with panic and he was beginning to feel lightheaded. Cole leaned closer, but froze when Lloyd let out a whimper, raising his arms to protect himself from the inevitable blows. 

“Shit,” Cole whispered, to Lloyd’s confusion, stumbling back to give Lloyd space. What would cursing achieve? Why was Cole hesitating when he could rid Ninjago of another monster in one swift strike? 

“Lloyd, I need you to breathe.” Breathe? Why bother, when he was about to meet his end? 

He shook his head, curling up tighter. 

A worried sound escaped Cole—worried? Lloyd peeked out from between his arms, the blade of panic momentarily disarmed by confusion. Confusion that blew up exponentially when he saw the crushed look on Cole’s face where he expected rage. 

When Cole met his eye, he replaced the look with a tiny smile, inching a little closer and holding his hands out in a gesture of peace. But… why? Why wasn’t Cole attacking him? He was just another monster in the Ninjas’ path; shouldn’t Cole eradicate him? It was his job. 

“Hey, there you are. Wanna take a deep breath with me, bud?” Lloyd didn’t understand why Cole was suggesting such a thing, but if it would give him a few more precious moments of life…

He followed Cole’s lead, taking shaky breath after shaky breath, flinching every time Cole’s brows pinched together. 

“There we go,” Cole said with an approving nod once Lloyd’s breaths came easier, less stuttering. “Are you feeling better now?” 

Lloyd nodded slowly, watching Cole warily. When was he going to finish him? Was he toying with Lloyd? 

Cole let out a distraught huff, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair, eyes flicking up to Lloyd when he flinched at the movement. “Bud, relax. Whatever’s going on in that head of yours is wrong, okay?” 

Lloyd blinked.

Pursing his lips, Cole tried again. “I’m not going to… Gods, I’m not even sure what you think I’m going to do. This whole”—Cole gestured vaguely at his horns and tail—“is fine. Although I do wonder how you kept them hidden all this time…” 

Lloyd barely heard his last comment. “Wha—But I’m a monster. You’re meant to—” 

“You are not a monster,” Cole cut him off, eyes wide with alarm. “Where did you get that idea?”

Lloyd narrowed his eyes. “Of course, I am! Normal—normal kids don’t have these.” He gestured widely, maniacally, to the stupid horns on his head, and snatched at the tail that was still flicking about behind him with crazed energy. “I’m a freak,” he added quietly, his heart sinking along with his gaze. But it was true, and the sooner he accepted that as a fact, the better. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out,” Cole made an ‘X’ with his arms, shushing Lloyd when he tried to speak. “Nope, I’m going to stop you right there, bud. Being a little different does not make you a monster; hurting others for your own gain does. We don’t fight the serpentine or your dad because they look different, we fight them because they’re evil, and they want to hurt people. The only person you’re hurting is yourself with those horrible words.” 

Lloyd’s eyes were burning, vision blurring again. This time, it was for an entirely different reason. “But—but I…” 

Cole’s face fell, an agonising pain flashing through his eyes for a moment. Throwing caution to the wind, Cole closed the short distance between them, dropping down onto the bed and scooping Lloyd up into his arms, a soft, crushed,  “Oh, bud,” escaping him. The raw, honest concern behind the words made something in Lloyd’s chest twist, and he turned and buried his face into Cole’s shoulder. 

“You’re alright,” Cole murmured into his ear, his arms tightening around Lloyd. “You aren’t a freak, or monster, or anything else your brain might be trying to tell you.” A heavy sigh escaped Cole. “You should talk to Sensei Wu.” 

Lloyd’s heart flew into his throat and he tore himself back to meet Cole’s eyes. “Uncle knows?” he asked, his voice high with panic. If his Uncle knew, then why was he still here? Why hadn’t he been thrown to the streets yet? 

If possible, Cole looked even more crushed. “He was there when we found you. He wanted so badly to help take care of you, but…” Cole shook his head, to Lloyd’s confusion. “He’s been pacing outside of the room for days now.” His Uncle had? “We only just managed to send him away to rest a few hours ago.” 

So… his Uncle wasn’t inclined to throw him out because he was a m—different. He was different. Lloyd couldn’t understand why, so he shoved that thought and any concerns that came with his Uncle knowing away. Later, he would dwell on it. For now, he had other questions.

“What happened?” His head was still a little cottony, and he couldn’t recall how he had gotten here—wherever here was—and why he felt like garbage. 

“You fell ill,” Cole said, brows knitting together, worried about Lloyd. Would he ever get used to the odd feeling of people caring enough to feel concerned for him? 

Lloyd frowned. “What? But… I don’t get sick.” Although that would explain how horrid his body felt.

Cole hummed, not quite disbelievingly so much as in acknowledgement. “Well, you did this once. And it was bad. You had this Gods-awful fever that took days to break, and you were so out of it when Jay found you. When you realised we knew about your whole…” Cole gestured vaguely to his horns, lips thinning as he recalled that which Lloyd couldn’t remember. 

But he could guess his reaction, and his cheeks flushed at the thought of how embarrassing it must have been. 

So, he didn’t acknowledge the thought. “But… I don’t get sick…” Not once had he fallen ill before. Why now? Why when he had a secret he had thought he would need to take to the grave? 

“Sensei suspects that Rocky might have passed his illness onto you, but that makes no sense; I’ve never caught anything from him.” 

Lloyd inhaled sharply. Rocky was a dragon. Lloyd was part-dragon. Had his impressive immune system come from his inhuman parts? And if so, had exposing himself to an unwell dragon been his downfall? 

Could he only catch dragon and oni diseases? 

And how did his Uncle know he was part dragon? Could he recognise it after so many years alive? 

“I’m not too worried about where you got it from, bud. I want to know how you’re feeling now. Better?” 

Warmth fluttered in Lloyd’s chest, a tiny smile lifting his lips as the genuine concern behind Cole’s words. “Yeah. I don’t remember much, but I don’t feel too awful.” 

Cole hummed. “I’m not surprised you don’t. But that’s good!” Cole said, excitement making his tone light. “Now, it’s time we get some soup into you. You haven’t eaten nor had water in days.” 

Lloyd nodded, electing not to mention that it wasn’t the first time he had done so. 

“And then it’s back to bed for you. The best cure for any ailment is lots of food, water, and sleep,” Cole said with an approving nod, as if to back up his own words. 

Lloyd was too tired to tease him for it. 

“And,” Cole continued, and Gods, if this wasn’t the most Lloyd had heard him speak since he had moved in. “You’re going to need a lot of energy to suffer through all the well-earned talks from everyone else once you’re better.” 

Lloyd groaned, head falling into his hands. “Can’t you tell them to leave me alone?” 

Cole let out a bark of laughter, patting him on the shoulder then standing. “Nope.” He popped the ‘p,’ trying to annoy Lloyd. It worked. “You hid this from all of us. And you said all those awful things about yourself. You can suffer through as many of these talks as it takes for you to stop believing that crap about yourself.” Cole poked him on the shoulder and shook his head. 

“I’ll go get you some soup and water. Stay put.” 

Lloyd rolled his eyes. As if his jelly-legs could support him right now. They might not be aching dearly any longer, but they were still weak; he was still weak with illness.

“Fine,” he agreed when Cole raised an eyebrow. For good measure, he crossed his arms with a pout, earning a snort from Cole as he slipped out of the room. 

And despite the threat of many more Gods-awful talks, Lloyd found a smile quirking his lips, his chest filled with warmth, bright and bubbly. They hadn’t kicked him out, nor done anything much worse. They had accepted him, and cared for him. 

Lloyd pulled his knees to his chest and pressed his face into them, smiling. 

Chapter Text

With a heavy sigh, Wu lowered his hands from where they rested upon his knees, his legs crossed neatly. Incense burned before him, the smoke he often used as an aid in his meditation of no use lately. How could it hope to push past the fog of concern clouding his brain, so thick and heavy he couldn’t shake it for even a second to concentrate?

He was too worried about Lloyd.

His family had made it to his nephew’s room well before he had—curse his old joints flaring up and slowing him down—and as such, he had missed a lot of what Lloyd had said. But he had made it in time to hear Lloyd’s soft cries, to hear him babbling on about how he didn’t want them to hate him, and how he was sorry for being such a monster. 

And at that moment, Wu had hated himself for not talking to his nephew sooner. He knew Lloyd hadn’t had much time with his mother, and even less with his father, the only person who could have explained their whole situation to him, explained that it was simply who they were, as descendants of the First Spinjitsu Master. He had known this, and yet he hadn’t thought to take some time to speak to the boy about their heritage. 

Thousands of years of life, and yet he was still lacking wisdom. 

Shaking his head, Wu stood, picking his straw hat up and setting it upon his head. He couldn’t wait any longer; he needed to speak with his nephew. Cole had spoken to him, with hushed tones and agony shining in his eyes, about his talk with Lloyd almost a week ago now, when the boy had first awoken. Cole had told him about Lloyd’s feelings toward himself, had reaffirmed Wu’s concern that the boy did view himself as a monster. He had also, after a quick glance around, shared that Lloyd was worried about Wu’s reaction, worried he might kick him out should he discover the kid wasn’t normal. 

As if anyone in their family had ever been normal. 

Now that Lloyd was on the mend and likely not contagious, Wu would have no trouble entering the spare room where they were taking care of him. Finally, he could drill into the kid that there was nothing wrong with him; this was how he was meant to be. Just as his grandfather had been, as Garmadon was. 

As Wu was. 

First, he made his way into the kitchen, fetching his kettle, filling it with water and setting it on the gas stove. As it heated up, he sought out his secret special blend. A little something hidden in the back of the cupboards that helped when the aches and pains were at their worst. Something that would help Lloyd feel a little better. 

He scooped enough into his teapot, then pushed the little tin box back into its place in the back corner of the second top-most cupboard. The highest was too obvious a place to hide things. 

Once the kettle boiled, he took it from the heat, setting it to the side while he prepared a tray with two cups and, on a little round crocheted coaster made by his mother years and years ago, his teapot. The boiled water went into the top of the teapot, the lid set atop the ancient china with a clink once done. The kettle was set back on the stove to cool while Wu gathered his tray in his hands. A deep breath in to collect his thoughts, and then he set off towards the guest room. 

The wooden door was ajar, allowing a soft, monotonous voice to escape the room. Wu nudged it open and the voice trailed off, Zane looking up from a book in his lap to see who was entering. He offered Wu a smile when their eyes met, one Wu warmly returned.

“I hope I’m not disrupting anything. I wish to speak with my nephew.” Wu’s heart sank as, from behind Zane, Lloyd’s eyes widened and he was quick to lower his gaze. He didn’t miss how his nephew had his hood up to cover his horns, and his blanket settled around his waist, his tail hidden away beneath it. Ashamed. 

Wu hoped he would be able to remove that shame from his nephew. Or, at the very least, begin the process.

“Of course,” Zane agreed, closing the book and setting it to the side for later. It appeared to be some sort of board book, with foxes sleeping under a starry night sky on the cover. Zane turned to Lloyd before he left, holding out one arm for Lloyd to scoot under, a swift embrace. “I will be back later,” he promised Lloyd, squeezing him once before standing and taking his leave. 

Lloyd flinched when the door shut softly behind him, lowering his gaze to his lap. 

“Nephew,” Wu greeted, lowering himself to the ground alongside Lloyd, accepting Lloyd’s soft, “Uncle,” in return. The tray was set down before him, and he carefully poured out two cups of his special tea, taking his time so as to try and gather his thoughts fully. Even after all his years alive, he found it impossible to prepare for talks like this. 

“Here,” he passed Lloyd one of the cups, smiling faintly to himself when Lloyd curled his hands around the cup, holding it close to his chest as if it might protect him from this no-doubt unwanted talk. He hoped Lloyd would realise soon that Wu wasn’t here to chastise him, that he only wanted to help. 

“Thank you,” Lloyd murmured, making no move to sip the drink. Once his nerves settled, he would drink. Of this, Wu had no doubt. 

Wu hummed in response, leaving his own cup resting on the floor. Wisps of steam curled from its rim, and he knew he would have a good few minutes before he was ready to take the first sip, before it was a comfortable temperature. “I believe we are a little overdue for a talk, my dear nephew." 

Lloyd nodded shakily, and said nothing. Wu noted how his shoulders stiffened slightly, and how he dug his fangs into his bottom lip. He heaved out a sigh, preparing to reassure his nephew, when Lloyd spoke first.

“’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I just… I didn’t want you to know I’m some kind of freak of nature.” Lloyd pulled his knees to his chest, holding them tightly, as if he was afraid Wu would snap at him. 

Wu sighed, shaking his head. This was what he had been afraid of. “Lloyd, look at me.” It took a moment, but finally, his nephew turned shimmering eyes over to him. “You are not a freak of nature, my dear nephew. You are a part of our family, that is all.” 

Lloyd blinked. Then frowned, tilting his head in such a way, his grandfather would have called him little dragon, as he had done with Garmadon when they had been younger, before the bite. 

A smile tugged at his lips at the old memories, and he tucked the thought away so he could regard it fondly later, once he was finished setting things right here. “We are descendants of the First Spinjitsu Master, a man who was half Dragon, half Oni. We look a little different, but that does not make us worth any less, nor does it make us freaks.” 

Lloyd’s eyes widened, as he had anticipated they might. But when Lloyd opened his mouth to speak, his words weren’t what Wu expected. “You—You’re different too?” 

Wu blinked, taken aback. Was Lloyd not more interested in the Dragon-Oni side of himself? He cleared his throat. “I am,” he confirmed. Had Lloyd forgotten they were related?

Before he could continue, Lloyd cut him off, leaning closer. “You mean I’m not… But you’ve never…” 

Wu shook his head. “When I never saw you show that side of yourself, I thought you might prefer to keep it to yourself. I had not yet shown my team as I find it can make things…” He trailed off, trying to think of a word to describe the oddness that followed sharing this part of himself with others, the distrust. “Awkward,” he settled for. “Often, it changes the way I am treated. I thought maybe you felt the same, not that you… that you were ashamed. I am sorry I never sought you out to speak with you regarding this. I should have realised sooner that you have had no one to teach you of our history, and that it is something to be proud of.” 

Lloyd hummed, his face troubled. “They… they only came in recently—just after I started staying here.” 

Wu’s heart stopped. “Only recently?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. Why had they only recently come in? His father had told him his and Garmadon’s traits had emerged at the age of 3. Why had Lloyd’s come in so late? And…

“But… They should not have come in so late. And I do not remember much, but the memory of the pain has stayed with me… That must have been agonising for you.” How had Lloyd not alerted the entire team when his horns and tail had come through?

Lloyd still wouldn’t meet his eye. “I—I talked with my dad on that night I… He told me that they only came in now because I was finally being taken care of.”

Wu inhaled sharply. “You managed to contact Garmadon?” How had Lloyd successfully done so? Wu had been trying to find a way to speak with his brother for years, ever since he was imprisoned in the Shadow Realm. 

Lloyd winced, hastily backtracking. “Not to join him, or—”

Wu was quick to shake his head. “No, no. I only wish to know how you did it. I have been wanting to speak with my brother for many years, and I have not been successful in my attempts.” 

Lloyd’s shoulders fell with relief. A tiny smile made its way onto his face as he thought back to his father. “I’m not sure how… He said something about our connection allowing him to hear me when I call for him—Oh, and it has to be dark. I used a torch to make shadows for him.” When Wu frowned with confusion, unable to follow along, Lloyd explained, “He can only manifest as a shadow. I don’t think he can form in sunlight.” 

Wu nodded, placing a hand to his chin in thought. So his brother couldn’t enter this realm, but from Lloyd’s words, it sounded as if he could manifest a shadow-substitute in his place and use it to interact. Would he use this ability to hurt his ninja? 

Had he done so already before? 

Wu would speak with them later. And if he found out they had been hiding things from him, he would smack them over the head with his staff.

“You will have to demonstrate to me how you do this. I have not spoken with my brother in many years.” It would have to be on peaceful terms, without his team behind him for once, if he wanted to have any hope of getting somewhere with his brother. 

“I’ll ask him next time we talk,” Lloyd promised, and that was enough for Wu.

“Thank you, dear nephew.” Now came the other difficult conversation. “We also need to discuss something else.”

He had thought Lloyd might stiffen with nerves again, but his nephew seemed lost, uncertain as to what else they might need to speak of. Did he not recall all those heartbreaking things he had said when he had first fallen ill?

“First, have some tea. It will help you feel a little better.” He picked up his own, still warm—maybe a little too cool for his liking, but he had needed to focus on Lloyd, not his drink. Lloyd dipped his head, taking a sniff of the drink first. He nodded to himself when he found nothing suspicious—a habit from Darkley’s, no doubt—and took a hearty sip, eyes drifting shut in contentment when the herbs washed over him, soothing any lingering aches instantly. It was a special concoction from Mystaké, one Wu would buy until he no longer had breath in his body.

Wu lowered his cup only once it was empty, setting it down and refilling it with more steaming tea. He inclined his head at Lloyd’s cup, filling it when the boy nodded eagerly. The teapot was set back down on its round coaster, his cup placed to the side once more to cool. 

“I need you to be honest with me when I ask you this question. Can you do that for me?” Lloyd’s posture finally changed to a more uncertain one as he realised the gravity of the situation. He nodded slowly, lowering his eyes to his drink and taking a sip of his tea. 

“Good. Now, can you tell me why you are so concerned that we will, as you put it while ill, ‘throw you to the streets.’” 

Lloyd set his cup down, his arms curling around himself protectively. “I…” He swallowed thickly, then said no more, as if the words were trapped in his throat. 

Something difficult to say, then. Wu had anticipated that. “I will not scold you, if that is what you are worried about,” he said. “I only wish to understand, if you will let me.” 

Lloyd nodded slowly. His eyes flicked up to meet Wu’s momentarily, and Wu smiled reassuringly, hoping it would be enough. He refused to force Lloyd into speaking if he didn’t wish to, but Wu hoped he would open up, if only so he could make sense of the concern. 

Lloyd seemed to find what he needed within Wu’s eyes, for he lowered his gaze again with a soft, “okay.” A deep breath in, and Lloyd said, “I was lying when I told you I ran away from Darkley’s.” Something sour settled in Wu’s stomach; nervous anticipation. He waited for Lloyd to finish with bated breath. “I wasn’t bad enough for them and they kicked me out, um… six months ago. I thought maybe you guys would too…” He trailed off when he saw the horrified look on Wu’s face, averting his gaze shamefully again. 

“Lloyd, that is dreadful. How could they throw a child to the streets?” 

Lloyd shrugged dismissively, and Wu could take the hint for what it was: he didn’t want to speak of this any further. 

“I am sorry that happened to you, Lloyd. I wish I could have done more to help sooner.” He closed his eyes for a moment, mourning for the many months Lloyd had lost of his childhood to homelessness. Then, he said, determined, “But I can reassure you now: we will never throw you out. You are a part of my—our—family, Lloyd, and we would never do such a horrid thing to you.” 

Lloyd inhaled sharply, eyes shining, and Wu was taken aback by the realisation that the poor boy had only wanted to be a part of someone’s family, to have what he always should have had. “Really?”

Wu dipped his head. “I promise. This is your home now, if you would like it to be.” 

The shimmering in Lloyd’s eyes intensified, and Wu worried for a moment that the boy would burst into tears. But then he sniffled and nodded, lowering his gaze to scrub at his eyes. “I’d like that.”

Wu smiled warmly at the success. Finally, his nephew was beginning to understand that they wouldn’t cast him aside. Not for something minor, not ever. Finally, his heart could stop breaking. 

“Good,” he said with a nod. “Now, my dear nephew, I believe you require some more rest.” 

Lloyd rolled his eyes, but acquiesced, finishing his tea and shimmying back down into his blankets. “Fine.” 

Rolling his eyes playfully, Wu reached out, pushing Lloyd’s hood back so his horns—still oh-so-tiny, were on display. “Be proud of this side of yourself, nephew. I will show you how to hide them when you are better.”

“Really?” Lloyd gasped, sitting back up. “Can you show me yours?” 

Wu’s smile turned cheeky, remnants of his youth sparkling to life in his chest. “Perhaps when you are better.” 

Lloyd scoffed, flopping back down. “Meanie.” 

“Perhaps,” Wu said again. “Rest well, nephew. And,” he began, waiting until Lloyd met his eye. “Try not to go near any more sick dragons.” 

Lloyd groaned, throwing a pillow at him. “Uncle.” 

Wu kept smiling. 

Chapter Text

Lloyd blew out a breath, leaning farther into the couch arm. His legs were curled up beneath him, his tail flicking about on the cushions beside him. Midday sun streamed into the quiet room from the window, splaying across his middle, warm and comforting. 

It wasn’t enough to ease the ice-cold misery that had latched onto his ribs this morning. From the moment he had awoken, it had been there, clinging tightly and refusing to leave. And to make matters worse, when he had finally scrounged up enough energy to haul himself out of his comfortable cocoon of blankets and seek out one of the others as he had promised Jay—no more scratching here—no one had been home! All he had found was a note on the fridge speaking of an urgent mission and a promise to be back in a couple hours—though he had no idea when they had left when he had been so deep within his own head. 

So now he was curled up on the game-room couch, unable to muster up any energy to try and game or read, leaning miserably into the arm of the couch and wishing someone would come home to distract him from his thoughts, from that damned urge to scratchscratchscratch until he felt better. 

With a groan that turned out closer to a whimper than he intended, Lloyd sank farther into the cushions, burying his face into his arms and trying to ignore the way his eyes were stinging. Why was he feeling so awful? Nothing bad had happened recently! In fact, he had been feeling great, now that he knew for certain the others cared; they had been working so hard to bond with him, to help him feel more comfortable. He had even started having dinners with them, finally confident enough to try and tackle that awful, nauseating fear of eating around other people. 

And yet he had woken up today with his heart down in the dumps, and with his mind whispering taunts that no, they didn’t really care for him, and Gods, he was so tired, if only he could sleep this off and feel normal again. 

Naturally, the moment he decided to lie down and try and nap, the others came home. 

Lloyd jumped when the door was slammed open none-too-gently, torn from the sleepy haze that had settled over him, nearly enough to distract him from that aching coldness in his chest. Nearly. 

He blinked away any lingering tears—no, he hadn’t cried—and pretended to be asleep. It would be easier to pretend that he had been napping on the couch, rather than try to explain that he had been lying here and wallowing in his own misery. 

With their entrance came the low murmur of chatter, punctuated by the occasional shout as Cole and Jay shoved one another over. The chatter dropped to whispers as their footsteps neared, the others spotting him on the couch and shushing one another. One set of footsteps neared him, and then there was a hand on his shoulder, cold to the touch, shaking him awake gently.

Lloyd blinked slowly, squinting bleary eyes at Zane—it wasn’t hard, when the sadness clinging to him made him so tired. Zane’s face softened when their eyes met. 

“Hello, Lloyd.” 

Lloyd yawned, scrubbing at one eye and sitting up. He nodded in response, not trusting his voice to be steady. The last thing he wanted was for them to know he had been in tears up until moments ago. 

“We have—” 

“We have a surprise for you!” Jay blurted out, cutting Zane off. When Zane shot him a cold look, Jay winced apologetically. “Sorry…” Cole smacked him over the back of the head, his arm then falling to rest over Jay's shoulders. Their relationship was… weird. 

He shook his head, determined to focus. Giving Zane his attention again, he asked, “A surprise?” 

Zane dipped his head. “Yes. Kai, may I?” 

With a grin, Kai presented a bag with a flourish, bowing low as he offered it to Zane. Shaking his head at his friend’s antics, Zane took the bag with a tired thank you and turned back to pass it to Lloyd. 

“We wanted to do something special for you.” 

“Think of it as a special reminder,” Cole offered when Lloyd tilted his head in confusion. They were already doing so many nice things for him; why would they spare the effort to do more? 

“Open it!” Jay said when Lloyd took a little too long to look. Rolling his eyes fondly, Lloyd set the little bag in his lap and reached inside. 

Only to pull out… a frame? “What’s this?”  

“Well, we decided we wanted an updated family photo—remember when we made you sit down with us a few days ago?” Kai asked.

“Uh…” Barely. They had caught Lloyd at a bad time, when he had been so exhausted from staying up all night the day before playing games with Jay. “Kind of.” 

With a chuckle, Kai said, “Turn it over, silly.” 

Lloyd did as he was told—only for his breath to catch in his throat. It was a photo of all of them: the ninja, his Uncle and Nya, and Lloyd. Through the hazy fog in his memory, he could recall them having him sit down with them and grin, though his mind hadn’t processed why until now, when he had never had a photo taken before. They stood huddled together, with the shortest of the group—him, Nya and Jay—standing at the front. They all smiled so brightly, even if Lloyd looked tired in the photo. He looked… happy. 

And despite the misery still swarming in his chest, he was happy here. 

“See, now this solidifies that you’re stuck with us forever,” Jay snarked, earning a round of snickers from the others. 

But Lloyd didn’t laugh. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes blurred with tears again. Forever. They wanted him… forever? 

“We’ll put it up in the bridge room so everyone knows you’re one of us,” Kai said, and when Lloyd looked up to meet his eye, he saw Kai had that easy, honest grin on his face. He meant every word. They all did. 

And despite the ache in his chest, warmth flourished there, pushing it to the side for the moment. It was bright and bubbly, and Lloyd finally laughed along with them. “I think you’re the ones stuck with me,” he said, voice wobbly, and swiped at his eyes.

“Whatever you say, bud,” Cole said, reaching out to ruffle his hair. Lloyd leaned into the touch, now that they knew his secret, didn’t shy away. 

The simple photo didn’t fix everything, but it was a start. It told the world that Lloyd was a part of this family, that he had a family. Lloyd would take it.