Chapter Text
Some background info.
Victoria Aveyard owns the characters present in RQ series!
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Notice: I have decided to do something big with this story . I've decided to remaster or rewrite the story .
There are a lot of things I found my writing to be very weird and confusing to follow along . That's totally fine! I'm fine with taking your criticism. I even reread it myself and it was ... CRINGEY.
So that's why I decided to take the step to rewrite the story. I'm going to switch some of the characters around and rewrite their personalities etc. I hope it will end up making a more cohesive story that would make sense and be enjoyed by all my readers.
I know some people are following this story and thank you for doing so. I feel like I've let you down by starting over, but with your support, I hope that when the chapters do get republished, they will be worth the wait :)
Dahlia POV
Again and again. I see Mom but I can't get to her fast enough. Sometimes she vanishes into smoke when I touch her. Or turn into a scarlet pool of blood.
I don't know which is worse. But it always ends the same way. I can't seem to get her out of the King's grip. Or the strongarms '. I'll force my open, willing myself to exit the dream by waking up.
The nightmare is the same, over and over again. I never witnessed it, but the accounts are chilling, with enough detail to visualize it. Kilorn cried for days. Cameron couldn't face me at all for weeks. She promised to protect Mom at all costs but she failed that promise. She steered clear from me just as I did with her. We gave each other pain from just our presence, with the known truth in between. I've forgiven her now , but sometimes I blame her, Kilorn and Cal.
Cal- Dad, sometimes didn't speak. He also avoided my eyes. They're blue, but sometimes I wonder if blue eyes bring him bad memories. His brother had blue eyes. The "Boy King" they called him. But I think you know who I mean.
Maven.
The "King" who took my Mom as prisoner.
It makes me angry about why I wasn't there to help. Mom knew what she was getting into which is why she said "no" when I offered to come with her on the mission. I conceded in the end and let her go. But now knowing what the cost was, I want to go back in time.
Dad always tells me it was better I didn't go. He says Maven would take me too if he found out who I was. I don't blame him for thinking that. Mare is my Mom, and I don't think Maven would have a problem whisking me away too with her. He's much too evil to say no to it. That monster is obsessed wherever my mom is concerned and knowing that she had a daughter too might also make him go mad. My identity might be left as a secret for the better. But I've lived on the run with the Guard. I still remember waking up to everyone packing as fast as they could to escape the king's army. I remember running with Mom and Dad.
I now have the courage to sacrifice anything for family or for the Guard. My life included.
I quickly get out of bed, leaving the warm, white, cotton sheets behind, and get dressed. The sun is almost up anyway, with the red dawn rising. It's the Scarlet Guard's symbol. "Rise red as the dawn" and "know only what you need" are just the sayings, but the rising sun on the flag is the most memorable. It's what millions of Reds have sacrificed their lives for, for a better tomorrow.
I slip into some blue jeans and a shirt, styling my long river-brown hair into a simple ponytail. I never like having loose hair when I'm awake. It bothers me a lot. I prefer to have a clean view whenever I need to and hair all over your face is just another disadvantage, especially when you're fighting. Trust me when I say, it's just a nice thing for your vision to be clear .
We're on Tuck right now, hoping to evacuate as soon as possible . Because of Mom's capture, we're trying to leave everything behind that she ever knew about. The Silvers we captured are going to be left here, possibly picked up by the king , but we're going to take as much as possible with us. Food, clothing, and maybe even some stolen supplies. That should keep us afloat for a while.
Tuck is an abandoned island that no one pays attention to really. Good thing for the Guard. No one would suspect us here so this is one of the safest bases we have so far. The air is fresh and small beams of sunlight bounce off the grass illuminating the small bits of dew on them. The nearby flowers are still blooming healthily, the petals a strong vivid colour and the stems a bright green.
The sun hasn't risen up yet so the sky is still a mesmerizing mixture of orange and pink. There are no clouds up there making the fading stars all the more visible. A perfect balance of night and day in one.
The sea washes up against the coastline, the water splitting once it meets resistance. The fresh sound of water hitting the island is calming, soothing whatever fear I had before. The air is pure and yet salty with a slight breeze against me. The view is just stunning so I give myself a moment to take everything in. I don't know when I will feel this again.
Tuck may be beautiful but it is terrifying. My Uncle Shade's grave is on Tuck able to view the rising sun on the island. I got to meet him and so did Clara, my cousin. But it made everything much harder when his death came. Clara was a wreck for weeks and so was her mother Farley. I didn't express any emotion, not wanting to believe the fact. But I did break down in the end. Shade's death meant many things to me. I would never see his brilliant amber eyes, hear his laughter, or even hug him. And that's only the physical characteristics of him. What's more , is that I would never get to speak to him or connect with him ever again. And I'm scared. They are treasured, yet painful memories I can't bear to slip away. But sometimes it happens. I deny it all the time but I think I'm starting to forget what he sounds like.
Even in death, Shade is still a good audience. He was always the person I went to when I was stressed, angry, or just bone tired. We could talk about things for ages and it was nice to get a new perspective from an older person. It is something that death hasn't taken away. The problem is, I'm too scared to go forward. The minute I see the stone, I'm reminded of his death again and how I couldn't save him at all.
All the emotions I've contained inside myself threaten to explode from me. The way the Samos magnetron's metal pierced his heart and the emptiness in his eyes. And Shade died before his body even hit the floor.
But it would be like the old times, I tell myself. Just like everything else was before. He would listen. Even if he can't speak, I can pretend he is, and make up all the advice he would give me.
I take a deep breath and walk towards his grave. Right now, I feel like I can do anything. But when I reach his grave, I can't will myself to walk another step forward. My legs turn to jelly. I want to run back.
It happens often, almost every single time I try. I feel like I'm invincible but it only takes a brief glimpse at the headstone to freak me out. I don't think I'm ready to face him yet. To face death. But I need to face my fears somehow.
"Hey, Uncle," I say to Shade's grave. "We're leaving Tuck soon and I want to say this just in case I don't return— at least for a long time. Mom's gone and I'm really angry about myself for not convincing her to go on the mission. I've come up with a plan to save her but the Colonel says that it's a very risky idea. Maybe your silence will help me explain everything."
Shade's grave, as usual, does nothing and stays mute. So, I continue onward.
"The plan is to pose as a soldier for Maven's newblood army and act as a spy for as long as possible. Get Mom out as fast as I can too . I volunteer to go, but it's been denied every single time. Hopefully you know how much I'm hurting. How much we all are."
The clouds darken as I speak, just like my rage, anger, and sorrow.
"Uncle, you saved Mom in a way at Corros. Now I need to make sure that effort wasn't in vain," I whisper to the headstone. Small drops of rain come down from the sky, dampening my clothing. It cries for what I've lost, for what millions have lost. Entire families torn apart, homes and towns burned to the ground, people dying left and right. And that's only the surface.
"I love you, Uncle Shade. I always have. And I'm sure you do too , even though you're gone. I'll come back from the mission with Mom. I promise."
There is no use in making promises to a dead man at all. But he can hear me, at least in the afterlife. As I step back from the stone, the rain starts to come back down, faster and stronger, until it starts peppering against my skin. The sun is in the sky now, the rays bouncing on the grass. It warms part of me up , like Uncle's hugs used to do.
I walk the way back at an even pace. The cool rain is nothing compared to the mixture of guilt, anger, and regret I feel . I know what I'm sacrificing for the mission. But I know it'll all be worth it in the end.
Even if my life is the cost.