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Chapter Text

Wolfpack

Arya: does anyone know why Jon is trying to have a family meeting at his house Sunday

Bran: I doubt its anything serious anyways maybe he got a new dog or something

Robb: do you think he has cancer

Robb: is he dying is he saying we aren't family anymore

Sansa: Robb calm down I doubt its anything that important and he invited all our friends 

and our parents 

Arya: How do you know our friends are invited Gendry just got a text from him 5 minutes ago

Robb: ya Sans that is weird Marg just got a text from him to

Rickon: I smell a conspiracy

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Sansa Stark to Jon Snow

Sans: They're on to me Jon what should we do 

Jon: calm down love what do you mean there on to you 

Sans: I may have told them not to worry about the family meeting because you invited    

 friends before you sent out said invites 

Jon: Okay at least you are at work so they shouldn't call you or corner you in person anytime soon

Sans: should we just slowly start dropping secrets to them all at once that way they don't 

murder us mostly you Sunday

Jon: that may be a good idea I'll make a group chat with everyone except your mom and dad I 

mean Ned already knows half of it anyways but that's not the point

Jon: I'll make the group after we both get off work and are settled at home we both know-how

 this is going to go

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Jon snow has created a group chat with Robb, Arya, Bran, Rickon, Theon, Margaery, Sam, Gilly, Gendry, and Sansa titled Family meeting 

Jon: So I guess before the family meeting Sunday I should probably disclose some secrets 

Robb: omg he is dying 

Margaery: honey Jon would not tell us he is dying over a group chat

Arya: so what is this about if you're not dying better be something worthwhile

Jon: so first off I'm not dying as of yet

Jon: But the first secret is that Sansa and I have been dating…..

Robb: what the hell for one that's not allowed my sister is off limits and two is that all the meetings about

Arya: finally but you said first secret that's very weird of you Jon since when did you start hiding things from us

Theon: damn snow you finally did it I guess Arya won our bet I thought you wouldn't say anything until she got married off

Sansa: Robb I am a grown woman and make my own decisions so I am not off limits

Jon: The second secret is we live together……

Robb: since fucking when we helped Sansa move like what 3 years ago she hasn't said shit about moving since then 

Arya: How the hell did we not notice Sansa hasn't hosted anything at her place since moving in she always claimed her roommate didn't like other people coming over but she would still host stuff at Jons.

Sam: Me and Gilly did wonder about the candles and extra color that's started showing up around your place more lately but I just thought you finally embraced color

Bran: it does explain the extra stuff in both the guest's room and Jon’s room

Sansa: it would not be a secret if I asked for help moving and Bran don't act like you noticed anything I moved in with Jon over two and a half years ago I only stayed in that apartment for a few months

Robb: You've lived with him for that long and never said a damn thing wait how long have you two been dating

Jon: Secret three me and Sansa have been together for four and a half years

Arya: Sansa had just graduated high school at that time what the hell Jon

Robb: I am going to kill you Snow you grabbed my baby sister right out of high school like some predator 

Sansa:  Jon did no such thing if anything I was the one grabbing him and he's only two years older than me same as you I was 19 at that time

Gendry: damn Sansa you were the one that went after Jon guess that makes sense I always doubted he would be able to make the first move and also rob I am also two years older than Arya why was I not murdered

Robb: I didn't kill you because you were both in high school and Jon stopped me from doing so 

Jon: it was after about 3 months of her going to KL university I had also just started going there and I helped her after the awful breakup with Joffrey

Sansa: you also beat up Harry Hardyng when he tried to group me at that party

Robb: why was I not made aware of these boys and I told you not to date that twat Joffrey

Arya: obviously you weren't informed because you would have made a big deal out of it as well as the fact that Jon seemed to have handled it

Bran: When did you both find time for this relationship don't you both work all the time

Sansa: I mean we do but Jon owns a third of me and Marge's company anyways and we can both work from home most of the time

Robb: The fuck you mean he owns a third of your fashion brand how and why does he own that much 

Margaery: I may have known about everything the whole time as Sansas best friend and business partner

Margaery: Jon paid for most of the start-up of the company as we didn't want to take money from our families he also owns most of the buildings we use to make the clothing and our main office he gives us a good deal as well.

Robb: how could you there's a traitor in my own home how have I never known this

Jon: I am invested in a lot more than just their clothing brand

Jon: I own 20% of the Targaryen corporation shares my dad left me 10% and I slowly bought more Egg and Rha both own 15% so our family owns the majority, for now, I want to get at least 1 more percent that way the Lanisters can't get the control there fighting for

Jon: I also own 10% of Stark shares, as well as 5% of the Tyrells I also run a very profitable reality company called Snow, which is how I own a third of the businesses and commercial buildings in Winterfell.

Robb: when the fuck did you have time to do all that and run the branch of Targaryen here in Winterfell 

Theon: if you have all that money Snow why do you still dress like a homeless man

Jon: I started right after my dad died and I gained a lot of money really quickly so before people started trying to get it from me I just invested almost all of it in places in Winterfell and around castle black 

Jon: Then I bought shares in places I knew would be profitable I made deals with people who gained the shares through inheritance and didn't realize their importance and bought them for a little above market from them in large quantities.

Rickon: can we get back to the fucking point im bored cool Jon has money I guess doesn't seem like he's just giving it out

Sansa: Okay secret three we got engaged dad gave his blessing and were expecting we can't wait to move into the new house were building as well

Arya: hold up what was that part in the middle you tried to skip over you expecting what exactly

Robb: Snow im gonna kill you 

Chapter Text

    Dragons den

Dany: Jaehaerys what's this I hear about an engagement and baby

Jae: Dany I hate being called that and who spilled 

Ray: Marge

Egg: Rickon 

Dany: Theon 

Jae: Ray don't act like you didn't help Marge and Sansa pick out the ring and why are you talking to Rickon Egg

Dany: Ray did what why was I not invited 

Ray: Dany you can be a little self-centered 

Egg: more like self-interested and super entitled 

Jae: Egg your not any better mister King of the 7 kingdoms

Ray: Jae it doesn't work as an insult when he is actually the King

Egg: I thought you weren't sure about the whole starting a family thing Jae

Jae: I just feel like Sansa deserves better and after my few relationships at Castle Black I wasn't sure I really wanted anything like that again 

Dany: you can't really count relationships that don't last more than a mouth and both of them were wild and crazy from what Robb has told us

Ray: Jae you and Sansa were made for each other and Dany you have no right to talk about a relationship lasting more than a few months none of yours ever do

Egg: Everyone has settled down or is settling down why haven't you even tried Dany you are almost the same age as Jae

Jae: let's not pressure her into anything I've spent years with Sansa and you were engaged to Mercy for 2 years before the marriage Ray you've also been with Willis since the end of your high school years

Dany: at least Jae’s on my side 😜

Ray: we will let this go for now but you better find yourself someone presentable to bring to Jae’s wedding no shirtless wild men like you brought to mine it's cold in the north and he would freeze to death 

Egg: he would freeze if Ned didn't shoot him for ruining his little girl's big day that is 

Jae: Egg we don't even have a date set yet and maybe we should move on from me for a moment

Ray: and here comes the normal work-focused Jae that we all love 

Jae: we need to talk about how much of the company we hold right now I have 20% Ray has 15% and Dany has 15% so we currently have 50% but Tywin and his goons own the other 50

Dany: when did I get part of the companies stocks im focused on my own nonprofit currently 

Egg: I transferred my stocks to you when I ascended the crown something about not having personal stacks in outside interruptions 

Ray: Jae when did you get 20% Dad only left you 10%

Jae: I bought more slowly over time like you should have been doing that way we can actually fully control the corporation even if you are the CEO he currently controls the board

Egg: okay okay we can talk business at a later date Mercy is yelling for me to get back to work or she will invite her mother over for dinner we all know that’s a threat none of us wouldn't take seriously

Dany: bye yall im needed for some charity work 

Ray: Jae i'll be bringing this up again soon I also need to get back to work 

Jae: I'll talk to yall later im off for the night anyway me and Sansa are heading to her parents for dinner

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        Stag Party

Theon, Jon, Gendery, Sam, Grenn, Edd, Tormund, Bran, Rickon, Ageon

Theon: Time to plan Jons stag party it's gonna be wild 

Jon: Why isn't Robb here and why am I involved in my own party planning

Gendry: Robb isn't here because he would never approve of a stag party and your here so that it falls within your boundaries 

Theon: obviously Robb is a party popper for anything involving his baby sisters and Gendry made me add you to this so we didn't try to plan anything stupid 

Tormund: I'll be there for the ale and chaos 

Grenn: Me and Edd will be there for the drinks as well 

Sam: I will  be there to support you Jon and make sure no one does anything too stupid while drunk

Theon: Sorry to tell ya this now Tor but I was planning to have it at your bar so you three may have to work it

Tormund: Yah best tip well fish if yah wish to get into Vals pants 

Jon: Why is Theon going after one of my exes and ex co workers 

Edd: He's been after her for months he shows almost every night at the bar trying to flirt with her

Jon: What about bro code Theon 

Rickon: Bro code flew out the window when you knocked up my sister Jon

Tormund: you and Val are still on good terms you did more fucking than dating anyhow Jon

Bran: I shall be there to make sure it doesn't get out of hand as well as to drive you drunkards home and make sure the child doesn't drink

Ageon: I will rent out the bar for the night so we don't disturb your usual business and so I can get away from the press and my wife

Gendry: So before this gets any more out of hand we are meeting at the Free Folk at 7 Sunday everyone good with that 

Sam: Sounds good the girls are doing something that day to 

Jon: Fine but whos tricking Robb and how 

Theon: I got it not like it's the first time I've tricked Robb into something

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         Hen Party

        Daenerys, Sansa, Margery, Gilly, Myrcella, Rhaenys, Arya

Daenerys: It's time to throw a party for the lovely girl with flaming locks before she tied to my brooding nephew 

Margaery: Dany with all due respect you are much too wild to be in charge of Sansa's Hen party

Rhaenys: I second that statement

Myrcella: Third

Daenerys: Rude

Sansa: Dany no offense but I am not currently able to keep up with your kind of parties

Arya: She's three moons pregnant there's no way we can go clubbing or to a pub so do you have any other ideas blondy 

Gilly: Can we please not call each other names 

Margaery: I think we should all just have a girls day we go get our hair and nails done then go back to my house for a slumber party no alcohol involved 

Daenerys: But drinking is half the fun of parties 

Rhaenys: You can abstain for one day Dany it won't kill you 

Myrcella: so meet at Margs at 3 on Sunday everyone is good with that right 

Arya: How is Robb allowing us to use your house Marg

Margaery: He isn't but he will be at Theons apartment and then Jons stag party I have informed Theon my husband will be staying with him for the night and he just replied yes like the smart man he is

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Brains of the family  

          Bran, Maegaery, Gendry

Margaery: How is the party going Sansas getting ancy with Jon not responding

Bran: everything is going fine besides most of them being drunk as can be 

Gendry: Jons not replying because he's almost passed out at the bar mumbling about how pretty Sansa is 

Gendry: Theon and Tormund forced him to down a shot per secret he kept from us and then a shot per year they were secretly together im surprised he isn't dead

Margaery: Sansa is going to be pissed at them tomorrow how is my husband doing 

Bran: Robb is drunkenly sobbing in the corner about how much he misses his wife while Grenn and Edd laugh at him

Gendry: Jons brother looks more relaxed just sitting at the bar than I've ever seen him

Gendry: And Theons hitting on Jons ex while she is aggressively making his drinks stronger and stronger it's starting to look like we're gonna need an ER trip for alcohol poisoning 

Bran: Doesn't seem like anyone is going to jail tonight tho its probably just because there's no one to fight as Ageon rented out the bar 

Margaery: All in all sounds like the nights going well for everyone we are just sitting in the living room eating ice cream and watching rom coms

Margaery: But starting tomorrow it is wedding mode time the wedding is in less than 2 weeks