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Heartbeats

Summary:

Johnny and Simon fitted together like two pieces of a puzzle. They were like they were meant for each other. Simon's realised long ago that his heart no longer beats to keep him alive, it beats solely for Johnny. Even if it took his life, he would take it without hesitation to save Johnny. Johnny would do the same for Simon, of course..
In the past he would have done it.

But now this heart do not beat for him anymore, but for somone else

Notes:

Triggerwarnings:
Car Accidents
Suicide
Amnesia

The story is written with a translator, so sorry if there are some mistakes.

Chapter Text

Simon's whole life was turned upside down.

Until a few weeks ago, he was one of the happiest people ever. He had a wonderful boyfriend, which Simon gave his heart to. He couldn't put his gratitude into words.

He had met him when Johnny was on holiday in Britain. The two got on very well together and became friends relatively quickly. They had been together for five years.

Except Price, Simon has never opened up to anyone as quickly as he has to John. He helped him deal with his trauma and supported Simon a lot. Even when John found out that Simon was not allowed to experience childhood, he went and bought him toys and read him bedtime stories so that he could sleep better.

Simon was also a great support for John. Whenever he fell into a bad episode, Simon was by his side and did everything he could to let John feel better.

They fitted together like two pieces of a puzzle. They were like they were meant for each other. Simon's realised long ago that his heart no longer beats to keep him alive, it beats solely for Johnny. Even if it took his life, he would take it without hesitation to save Johnny. Johnny would do the same for Simon, of course..

In the past he would have done it.

 

Simon wished it was all just a bad nightmare, but unfortunately it was reality.

Johnny and Simon had a car accident on the way to their date. A drunk unreliable driver hit the two of them. And although the driver hit Simon's side, he was lucky and got away with a few broken bones and a severe concussion. With John it was the complete opposite. He was in a coma for two weeks. Simon stayed by Johnny's side day and night, refusing to leave him alone for even a second or to sleep.

He cried with joy when John finally woke up. He wanted to hug him, tell him how much he loved him and just kiss him. But before he could do that, Johnny said something to him.

"Who are you...?"

John had amnesia. He could only remember everything from seven years ago. Even though Simon was glad to see that he was doing well so far, it broke his heart to hear that the man he would not only die for, but also kill for, didn't recognise him.

After John's release, Simon showed him around their shared flat. Since it was already strange enough for John to share a flat with a 'stranger', Simon decided to slept on the couch.

They looked at memories together while Simon told him almost everything the two of them had experienced. He also explained his traumas to John again, as he had received a real shock when he saw all the toys and children's books.

Even though John couldn't remember Simon anymore, he took a liking to him relatively quickly and it didn't take long for the two of them to get closer again. But not in the way Simon had hoped.

Even though his heart still beat for the tanned young man, wich hearts no longer beat for Simon. It beat for someone else.

Kyle Garrick.

The man John met in a café where he and Simon had breakfast together every Wednesday.

And now?

Now Simon stood there. At the wedding of the two men, as the Best man to the man he would have married if this damned accident hadn't happened. Simon never had such a hard day in his life like this day.

Price told him he didn't had to go, but he just couldn't stay home. He didn't want to let John down as his best friend.

It didn't matter how he felt, this wasn't about him. It was their day and he didn't want to mess it up. But during the wedding reception he couldn't take it anymore and collapsed.

And when he woke up in the hospital... he was alone.

"Are you okay?" Price came into the room and sat with him.

"I know it was a hard day for you yesterday. I'm here for you if-," he was interrupted as Simon threw himself around his neck and started to cry.

He couldn't take it any more. He kept telling himself to be strong, to be there for John and Kyle, that's his job as a friend.

 

With shaky hands he folded the tear-soaked letter. He placed it next to the picture of him and Johnny before taking one last sip of whisky.

He hugged the panda bear tightly, which John had given him back then for his birthday.

"I love you, Simon."

He listened to the audio John recorded as he squeezed the bear for the last time before finally closing his eyes and pressing the trigger of his pistol.

Finally he didn't have to feel this pain any more.

Chapter 2

Notes:

Tw!
Mentioned of child abuse, mental breakdown and bipolar Disorder

Chapter Text

Pissed off, Kyle went to the door when the doorbell rang in the middle of the night. John was still asleep, so Kyle hurried so that his husband wouldn't be woken up by the constant ringing.

"Do you fucking know what time it is...", Kyle looked in shock at Price's tear-stained face, as he opened the door.

Without hesitation, he let him in and got him a blanket, as the older one was completely soaked from the rain.

"Honey, why are you awake?" asked Johny sleepily as he came into the room. But when he caught sight of Price he was wide awake.

"He... He's gone...", Price managed to get out, his voice completely broken.

The two looked at him worried and confused in equal measure. They were trying to understand what was going on inside Price. They had never seen him in such a broken state.

"Who, John. Who's gone?" Kyle asked.

Price bursted into tears before he could shakily reply,

"S-Simon."

 

Price had met Simon when he was 16. He had found the boy in an alley next to his flat at the time.

Due to the everyday abuse Simon had to endure at home, he didn't want to go home, he had rather spend the night in an alley than return there. Luckily for him, the then 25-year-old had approached him and taken him inside.

Price saw Simon as his own son. After learning of Simon's situation, Price pulled him out of that hell and took care of him.

It broked his heart to saw Simon suffer at the wedding. He had loved Johnny with all his heart and Price knew that very well. That's why he went straight to his son after work, only to find him on the floor with a gun next to him.

 

"He's dead... Simon h-he took his own life."

Johnny looked to him in shock as he tried to process what he had just said.

"My son... he's gone. I'm a bad father, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have let him home alone- I- I.", Price couldn't finish his sentence before he broked down.

Apart from Price's sobs, it was silent. Just like at Simon's funeral a week later.

Johnny didn't want to look when he was allowed to look into the coffin for the last time before it was pushed into the fire.

Despite the fact that Simon was dead, he looked so peaceful that you would have thought he was just sleeping.

Johnny shivered throughout as he watched the dead body being burned. If Kyle, who was equally at the end of his rope, hadn't held him, Johnny probably would had collapsed.

He felt so guilty, so guilty that he didn't loved Simon anymore. He couldn't go a single day without thinking about the letter Simon had left him.

His bipolar disorder did not make the situation any better. There were days when he tried as hard as he could to concentrate on all the good memories he had with Simon and just accepted the death. Other times, he blamed himself for his death.

Even though he couldn't help how he felt, he felt terrible. Terrible not only for losing a much loved person, but also for taking a son from a father.

It broke both his and Kyle's hearts to see Price in this state. He was unresponsive at times, or very out of it and just overtired. He wouldn't let anyone come near him, not even his husband, Nikolai. Some days he would spend hours at Simon's gravestone or sitting around in his old room staring at all the toys Simon had played with until recently.

If Nikolai hadn't been by his side, Price would probably never had managed to combat his trauma somehow.

It took years for everyone involved to come to terms with this loss. No matter how well they healed, a part of them will remain broken for the rest of their life.