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Chapter Text

They’d been hunting the enchantress for days to no avail, Arthur was starting to wonder if they’d ever catch her and even more to the point, was it worth the chase? He had an entire kingdom to run now. Sure she practiced magic but had she actually caused anyone harm enough to be hunted like a dog? Brooding in his thoughts he caught sight of his manservant sneaking off. He was used to Merlin disappearing randomly and would usually leave him to it, but something compelled him to follow the younger man this time. Quietly he informed Leon he would be returning to Camelot to work on more pressing duties and if their search proved unsuccessful by the end of the day they should do the same.
Perhaps Merlins excuses were rubbing off on him, it had been all too easy for him to follow the servant in question without raising any suspicions.

They came to a clearing and Arthur watched as Merlin greeted the very enchantress they’d been searching for. Anger and hurt surged through him at yet another betrayal. The one person he thought he could truly trust through and through was stood clear as day in front of him with a sorcerer. Arthur couldn’t find his breath, his world narrowed in around him at the idea of the whole situation and he was ready to confront the man in question until he saw bandits leap out from behind the trees in front of them. Within a split second they were flying backwards, another one following suit as the enchantress turned to them too, but there was no time to celebrate victory as a hidden archer appeared, aiming his crossbow directly at Merlin, its arrow piercing his side with a sickening sound as Arthurs world crumbled completely.

Any anger he felt disappeared immediately, his deep blue eyes wide with fear. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breath. All he could do was watch as Merlin gazed around confused, the breath leaving his body as he looked down at the arrow sticking out of his side. He watched as the brunette grazed his hand next to the wound before his knees gave way and suddenly Arthurs senses flooded back to him.

“Merlin!” He screamed, running over as the woman helped him lie back. Finnas head whipped around to the King as he slid to his knees the other side of his servant, looking down at him with a look of pure distraught.

“Arthur?” Merlin gasped looking up at his King. Arthur swore his heart broke a little more as he recognised fear plastered all over his friends face and that fear was clearly directed towards him.

“It’s okay. We’ll get you help.” Arthur managed to stammer out, placing his hand on Merlins shoulder and trying to swallow the lump that had suddenly decided to lodge itself in his throat.

“They won’t be alone.” Finna said simply wrapping her hand around the arrow, giving the brunette a nod that was returned before wrenching it from Merlins side. The sound made bile rise in Arthurs throat and he grabbed his servants hand squeezing hard. He felt as though he’d been struck dumb as he watched Merlin immediately draw his sword and sit himself up, groaning in pain as he did so.

Had Merlin always been this strong? He’d watched many a grown man be floored by such an injury and yet here was his servant using his sword as an aid to get up after having an arrow removed from his side as though it was nothing.

“Morgana can not find you.” Finna spoke to the pair as she glanced around ensuring no one else was coming along.

“Where can we go?” Merlin breathed, every movement clearly causing him agony.

“An old watchtower on the other side of the valley.” She replied, nodding at Arthur to help the young man up. The sounds of pain coming from Merlin made the blonde want to cry, he’d never seen his servant like this and he hated every second of it. Thoughts flew through his mind quicker than he could even comprehend them. Should he have brought someone with them, that way they could be on their way back to Gaius and aid right now. How could he help Merlin. Why was Merlin talking to this woman. How did she know who Merlin even was!? And the one that kept coming, what do I do to save the man in my arms?

“Can you walk?” Finna asked as they’d got him standing. After a few steadying breaths Merlin replied with a surprising sureness.

“Yeah. I think so.” He nodded, letting Arthur support his weight a little as Finna led the way.

“It’s not far.” She added to try and reassure the pair.

“I’m sorry.” Arthur finally found his words as they set off. “Morgana? Who are you? How do you two even know each other?” He couldn’t stop the questions. His brain was screaming at him not now! But he needed to know, he had to know Merlin hadn’t betrayed him as so many other had before.

“Morgana is searching to bring down Camelots protector.” Finna spoke as they continued. “You may despise magic young Pendragon but it is magic keeping Camelot alive and safe from so many of her advances. However there is one they call Emrys.” She stopped as Merlin made a pained sound. What Arthur didn’t know was the panic running through his servant at that very moment that his secret would be revealed. The woman turned to them both, noting the paleness of the warlock that had nothing to do with his injury at that point.

“Are you okay?” Arthur questioned, worrying they were loosing him already.

Merlin just nodded, gritting his teeth, his answer coming out a lot more strained than it had mere moments ago. “I’m fine. Let’s keep going.”

“He was born of magic. He is magic itself and his is the protector of Camelot.” Finna finished, no intention of revealing more than the young King needed to know.

“There’s a sorcerer… protecting Camelot? Why? After everything we’ve done to their people why on earth would they protect it?” He noted the small huff of amusement that came from Merlin. “Do you know? Is that why you two have met?”

“I’ve told you before clot pole.” Merlin spoke slowly. “There are some that believe you are destined to become the greatest King these lands have ever seen… not me obviously.” He added with a laugh that swiftly turned into a grimace. “One of those people just happens to be a warlock that holds out hope you won’t be like your father.”

Arthur was once again dumbfounded. He knew the druids were a peaceful people, despite that he hadn’t repealed any of his fathers laws. If you were caught practicing magic the sentence of death still hung over your head. This wasn’t the first time his stance on magic had been questioned, but it was the first time he realised just how wrong he could possibly be.

“How do you two know each other?” His next question he needed to know the answer to. Had Merlin truly betrayed him?

“I sought him out in Camelot.” Finna continued, fabricating a lie as she went along. “I knew he was your servant and was therefore the best person to get information to quickly. If Morgana finds and destroys Emrys Camelot is in grave danger it can not defend itself from. I thought Merlin would be able to inform you and perhaps win you round to our side. Unfortunately as you can see, that has not quite gone to plan.”

Arthur grimaced, that was was his fault. He’d ordered the search that had pushed them out into the woods, in turn leading them into harm. If he’d simply spoken to her perhaps this whole situation could have been avoided and Merlin would be absolutely fine, not bleeding out slowly with every step. Glancing over at his servant he knew worry was etched across his face, but he couldn’t help it. Merlin wasn’t a warrior. Despite the fact he had followed Arthur into battle time and time again he knew his servant wasn’t a knight. Yet here he was, gravely injured and continuing on despite that. Arthur couldn’t loose him.

“Do not blame yourself young Pendragon.” She turned to him for a moment with a kind smile, one that somehow instantly calmed him. “You have been raised to fear the old religion. Raised to hate those with magic. You are still learning, still finding your own opinion on these matters. Merlin is correct, we still hold hope you will not repeat your fathers mistakes.”

Arthur wanted to cry. How someone he and his family had caused so much pain and suffering could speak so kindly to him was beyond his comprehension. He wanted to reach out and embrace her, thank her for her belief in him yet he still had one more question.

“And Morgana? She knows about this Emrys protecting us?”

“Yes. But she does not know his identity. You see he goes by another name, one no one will speak for fear of endangering him. He has spent so many years protecting you Young King and those you hold dear that to reveal his identity now would be a crime beyond all thought.”

“This Emrys is in Camelot?” Arthur asked incredulous. A sorcerer had potentially been living under his and his fathers noses all these years and neither of them had realised.

“That I can not say, for it could endanger him and I will not do that. I am sworn to protect him. But Morgana knows I am aware of his other name and is searching for me to reveal it. Merlin was simply helping protect me and in turn, you.” She finished turning to them both as they reached a small clearing.

“Rest here. I will go and check the watchtower is safe.” Nodding at the pair she hurried off into the woods leaving the two men alone.

Arthur helped Merlin rest against the base of a tree, his breaths coming out shorter with every passing moment. The King knelt back, looking as the brunette rested his head against his arm, his eyes closing heavily, his hand covering his wound covered in his own blood. Arthur wanted to scream, he’d never felt so helpless in all his life.

“Merlin.” He breathed, watching as his servant opened his eyes slightly dazed. His gaze flickering around in confusion until they landed on Arthur, a small smile revealing itself and making Arthurs heart soar. “Stay with me.” He added, it coming out a bit more pleading than he’d intended.

“It’s not the first time you’d thought I’d die.” Merlin smiled, his brow furrowing. “Might be the last though.” He laughed, it swiftly turning into a groan of pain.

“As much as the idea of a peaceful journey back sounds inviting that’s not happening. You’re not going to die Merlin.” He forced his voice to sound light and teasing, but he couldn’t stop the pain that entered it. He couldn’t loose Merlin. Even if he had betrayed him and consorted with sorcerers he didn’t care. Finna said he’d only done it to protect him, that’s all Merlin had ever done. Worked to help him, care for him, advise him, be there for him through the hardest moments of his life. Through heartbreak and grief and pain he didn’t think he’d ever recover from, Merlin was there. No questions asked. Arthur himself had turned to magic in moments of desperation, who was he to punish Merlin for speaking with an enchantress he thought could help protect his friend? It would be hypocritical beyond belief and would cost him his only friend. Something he was terrified was happening anyway.

“I’ll find some herbs.” Arthur decided suddenly, standing up and glancing around the forest. “You can tell me how to bundle them or mash them or whatever it is that you and Gaius do and we’ll heal you up enough to get back to Camelot. How hard can it be right? You manage it and I sometimes wonder if you have a brain in there.” Turning back to Merlin he felt tears spring to his eyes as he took in the man before him properly. He was slumped down, his one hand gripping the sword, his other over his wound that was even bloodier than it was when they stopped. He looked so pale, frighteningly so, and his head was lolled to one side, his eyes closed. He couldn’t loose him.

“Merlin.” He cried, his voice coming out strangled and causing the man in question to look over at him. Once again that blasted smile spreading across his face and making the Kings heart flutter.

“Sorry, just having a moment.” His servant smiled looking exhausted.

Merlin desperately tried to focus on Arthur, on his brilliant blue eyes. His blonde hair shining in the slowly fading sunlight, he wasn’t enjoying the look of distress across the Kings face but his brain wasn’t putting it together that the distress was aimed at his current situation. Instead he was worried Arthur hated him, would find out his secret and leave him to die anyway. Taking a steadying breath he winced, his thoughts fading away as he found more and more all he could focus on was just surviving one minute to the next.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin whispered, his eyes squeezed shut with pain.

“Don’t apologise.” Arthur returned to his side, resting his hand on the back of Merlins neck. “I know you have a reason for this, I know you would never betray me. You are the truest friend I have Merlin. So we just need to get you healed and better alright?” He spoke as softly as he could, hoping his words were some sort of comfort. He never had been very good at that.

“It’s safe. You ready?” Finna asked returning in a hurry. Merlin nodded and as they helped him to his feet he exhaled in pain his faced screwed up from the effort. Arthur was once again astounded, even some of his strongest knights would have given up by now. Yet here was Merlin beginning to walk again with only Arthurs aid and his sword. How he was still going completely baffled him and made him wonder how many times had Merlin been in this sort of pain to be able to brush it off so easily. The thought made him feel physically sick but he made a mental note to ask his friend when he was recovered.

As they made it to the tower Merlins legs gave way, Arthur catching him before he hit the floor completely, but there was no time to stop now. They could hear people approaching and so all they could do was help him back to his feet and guide him through the door. Arthur swore his heart was breaking with every step. The pain becoming more and more evident on Merlins face as they climbed the stairs that never seemed to end. Eventually it became too much and he fell forward, gasping for air his face contorted in agony.

“How do you know this tower?” Merlin asked breathless, trying to delay having to get up again. He wasn’t sure if he could in all honesty.

“When you’ve spent a lifetime running. You know all the places to hide.”

“Running from…” Merlin shook his head looking at the man behind Finna. “Arthur?”

“And from his father before him.” She added with no hesitation, she had faith in the future but that didn’t erase the life they had forced her into living. One small remark towards the King was warranted in her eyes. Reaching forward and ignoring the Kings small intake of breath at her comment she tried to help him back up, but it was too much for the young man. Merlin was exhausted and fell back against the wall shaking his head again his face screwed up with pain.

“It won’t always be like this.” Arthur watched as the life seemed to be draining from Merlin. Wondering how on earth he had so much faith in him even now. “Things will be better.”

“That is why I was sent. To help you make it so.” Merlins eyes snapped back open, the sounds of dogs cutting their conversation there. How the pair of them could be speaking about him so candidly was astonishing and their complete belief in him still shocked him to his core. The small respite seemed to help as they managed to get Merlin back on his feet and up the remaining stairs.

Stumbling into the room near the top of the tower Merlin leant on a barrel, his strength had almost left him completely and so he slid down, breathing heavily as Finna locked the door behind them.

“Pendragon, take those stairs, see if you can’t find an exit route for you both. Quickly now. We don’t have much time.” She instructed pointing behind Merlin. Once again Arthur wasn’t sure what it was about this woman, she was so commanding and yet comforting at the same time. He didn’t want to leave Merlin, he looked moments away from death and the King felt as though he himself was going through torture seeing it. But the small nod that his servant gave him was enough for the blonde to trust them both and run up the stairs into the evening.

“Why are you doing this for me?” Merlin questioned as soon as Arthur was out of earshot. His head lolling against the barrel behind him.

“Without you Emrys, Arthur cannot build a new world we all long for.” She replied falling to her knees in front of him.

“I don’t understand.” He mumbled. Everything felt like so much effort at that moment, even breathing was becoming harder and harder to achieve. There were many times he’d faced death before, but this time he feared it may be the end for him well and truly.

“For hundreds of years the Catha have guarded their ancient knowledge. But now the time has come to pass it on… to you Emrys. For only you can carry their hopes into the great battle itself.” Her words were pouring out as she watched Merlins eyes slide shut.

“How can I do that?” He questioned, his eyes staying closed, not even knowing if he would ever move from this spot again. Registering some movement from the woman in front of him he opened his eyes as she pulled a small silver box from her cloak and handed it to him.

“Here. Guard it. Carefully. It will help you in the dark days to come.”

“Thank you.” He managed to reply with a small smile.

“There is something else. Something Alator himself wanted me to tell you.” She watched the young warlock struggle to keep his eyes open, his breathing getting shallower with every moment. He had to survive this, he was their only hope and he needed to know this information if it was the last thing she did. “Do not make the same mistake as Arthur. Do not trust the Druid boy.”

A large bang made them both jump, Arthur flying down the stairs back to them.

“There’s no route out. It just leads to the roof!” He stated in what could almost be called panic. But of course the King of Camelot didn’t panic. “You knew this, it’s a trap!” He started accusing as the woman helped Merlin to his feet, practically dragging him up to the next room where his servant fell onto his hands and knees immediately. Arthur hadn’t realised just how close to death Merlin looked and it made his heart physically hurt. Their time was running out either way.

“You must go on.” She replied, ignoring the Kings accusations. He would understand shortly.

“There’s no where to g-“ Merlin went to reiterate.

“The roof. You’ll be safe there.” Finna said so sure.

“How.” Merlin questioned. Arthurs stomach turned at how slurred his words were coming out.

“They think I am alone. Once they have me, they will go.” She replied with a small smile. So not a trap after all.

“I won’t leave you now.” Merlin winced as he raised himself up on his sword. “We fight them together.”

Arthur couldn’t help the tears that sprung to his eyes, his stupid, incompetent, ridiculous servant minutes away from death and still willing to help a complete stranger. He really was a wonder, and so much more than just Arthurs servant. He mentally kicked himself that it had taken this event for him to realise just how dear the man in front of him was to him and how he couldn’t bare the thought of loosing him and having to live a life without him.

“If Morgana finds us together she will kill you both and that can not happen.” She strode over to the pair of them. “It is my destiny to serve you to ’til the end. I could wish for no more.” She spoke looking solely at Merlin. Arthur couldn’t help but furrow his brow in confusion. He was the King. Surely she should be pledging her life to him not his servant and yet the way she was looking at Merlin, as though he were a god amongst men he had no doubt that every word was meant for the younger man. “Grant me one favour.” She asked looking down.

“Anything.” Merlin breathed.

“Leave me your sword.” She replied simply and although Merlin looked puzzled he didn’t hesitate to hand it over. Once again Arthurs heart soared with admiration for his friend. He tried to think if any of his Knights, if he himself were in this situation would they be standing up trying to fight for this woman and then hand over their only weapon without question? The answer he came to showed that Merlin was a better person and a stronger man than all of them combined.

As Finna took the sword she went to bow to Merlin, his hand shot out resting on her shoulder and stopping her. It was astounding, he was sure most people would welcome the thanks and yet Merlin clearly wanted none of it. An unspoken agreement seemed to pass between them before Merlin turned towards the stairs, nodding at Arthur to lead the way. As soon as Finna heard Arthur open the door she spoke to Merlin one last time.

“It has been a privilege. To know you Emrys.” She smiled warmly at him, watching as the boy struggled to come to terms with the affection. Simply nodding at her before following the King to the roof.

Arthur turned to see Merlin crawling out of the door, all his strength had clearly left him and the King ran over, catching his servant as he fell to the floor completely.

“You’re not leaving me this easy.” Arthur forced out a laugh through his tears and Merlin huffed in amusement.

“I’m not sure this is what I’d call easy.” He murmured, just enough for Arthur to hear.

“No. I guess not.” The blonde replied his smile fading immediately as he watched Merlins laboured breaths. “Merlin you have to stay with me.” He tried his best to stay calm but it was proving pretty difficult as fear ran through him that the man he… what? Loved? Adored? Cared about more than anyone else in this world? That man was dying in his arms.

“Never thought I’d hear you say that.” Merlin quipped, opening his eyes to look at the King holding him close. He’d longed for this closeness for years, even let himself dream about it at times. How typical that it would happen so close to the end.

“I should have said it more.” Arthurs voice broke. This was starting to sound an awfully lot like a goodbye and he hated it. Yet he knew if he didn’t say all the things he’d been holding in it would destroy him. “Merlin.” Another break. Closing his eyes he composed himself, opening them as he felt the younger mans hand on top of his own in comfort. He was literally dying and still trying to provide someone else comfort. “You’ve truly amazed me today. I wish I’d seen this sooner. Wish I’d known how much you fight for me, not only with me at my side. But when I don’t even realise you’re fighting for me. I wish I’d appreciated you more. That we’d spent more time together as friends and less as servant and King. That I’d given you every damn hug possible. That I’d held you close and told you just how much you mean to me because I can’t live without you Merlin. I can’t do it.” Tears were streaming down the blondes face as he admitted as much as his voice would allow him to before breaking completely.

Merlin tried to process everything he’d just heard. His brain didn’t seem to want to work anymore and his thoughts were all jumbled up. Searching Arthurs face he realised what he’d heard was in fact real, not just a dying mans wish.

“Arthur.” He breathed, grasping his hand as tightly as he could. Which proved to be not that tight at all. “I wouldn’t change a thing.” He smiled. “I’ve seen you grow to become the King I knew you could be. To have been at your side, serving you through it all.” He drew a breath as much as he could. “To be your friend, is more than I could have imagined.” Closing his eyes he grimaced, he had to get these last few words out. “Arthur, everything I do is for you.” He opened his eyes, blue meeting blue as they gazed at each other. “You’re the most important person in my world but you can live without me. You will be the greatest King this land has ever known and you will be loved by so many. To have been one of those people has been an honour.” Merlin smiled up at the King. One day Gaius would tell him everything but today he was just happy to be held by Arthur and to hear those words. Now, nothing else mattered.

“No. Merlin. You will continue to be one of those people.” Arthur cried. “I won’t let you die.” Resting the brunette down gently he brushed his hair back, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. Merlin wondered if he’d actually already died until Arthur spoke again. “I’ll check if they’re gone, then we are getting you to Gaius and he will heal you. You’re going to live through this. I swear to you. I won’t loose you.” And with that the blonde was sneaking down the stairs. Leaving Merlin gasping for air under the stars.

A thought suddenly sprang to mind and it was now or never as the King wasn’t around. Gathering all the energy he had he called out for the great dragon, collapsing back and darkness engulfing him as he finished his cry.

Thankfully the coast was clear. Arthur ran back to Merlin as quick as he could, his heart stopping at the sight in front of him. Merlin was lay deathly still, his chest wasn’t moving at all.

“No.” Arthur mumbled stumbling towards him. “No, no no. Merlin!” He sobbed, crashing to his knees next to the brunette. “No please Merlin.” He was begging. It was so un-kingly of him but he didn’t care. It felt as though his entire world was crashing down around him and he couldn’t cope with any of it. “Merlin please you can’t leave me.” Stroking back his hair he didn’t know what to do. “Merlin.” He whispered, leaning down so his lips brushed the younger mans cheek, he was already so cold. “Come back to me, please.” Resting his forehead on Merlins he didn’t know what else to do but cry, he felt completely and utterly lost. That was until he heard a strange noise getting closer and closer.

Jumping to his feet Arthur drew his sword as he realised it was the great dragon heading straight for them.

“Young King I am here to help.” The dragon spoke… it spoke to him. Honestly today was getting to be far too much for Arthur. There were too many things making him question his entire reality at this point.

“Help how!?” He shouted, his voice cracking very unceremoniously.

“I can heal your servant. Let me take you both to a clearing nearer Camelot so you are safe.” The dragon perched on the edge of the tower. “But we must be quick before the witch realises anything and before it is too late for Merlin.”

“Wh- how- bu- Okay.” He stammered not knowing what else to do but agree. As he climbed onto the dragons back he watched as Merlin was gently scooped up in his talons. The way his body hung limply made him want to break down all over again, but he had decided for some unknown reason to trust the beast. Well, not totally unknown reason. He would do anything to get Merlin back and if that meant trusting the creature he’d previously fought then so be it if it meant Merlin would be safe and well.

The journey turned out to be almost enjoyable, once Arthur had got over the fact he was riding a dragon which was both exhilarating and terrifying and downright confusing. Surely he shouldn’t be enjoying the company of magical creatures as much as he currently was. Jumping off his back as they arrived he turned to see the dragon exhaling a long breath onto Merlin and almost immediately his servant took a deep breath in.

“Merlin!” Arthur cried, falling to his knees beside him and watching with pure joy as his chest rose and fell steadily.

“I did say Young Pendragon. I was only coming to help.” The dragon stated simply.

“But why? He’s just a servant, a servant to the King of Camelot, a place you tried to destroy and nearly succeeded in doing so. Why help now?”

The dragon huffed in amusement.

“You have much to learn still. You are destined to be the once and future King of Camelot and you need Merlins help to reach your true potential.” The dragon chose his words carefully, knowing Merlins magic was still very much a secret.

“Merlin?” Arthur questioned out of habit, yet after the events of the day he was starting to understand just how much he did need this man next to him.

“Yes. You are two sides of the same coin. Destined to help bring about the golden age of Camelot. One can not succeed without the other.”

“We’re… destined for each other?” Was that what he’d just heard? The dragon smiled… Arthur didn’t even realise dragons could do that.

“If that it what you wish to hear, then yes.” He let out a low chuckle, remembering their early relationship and Merlin stating he’d help someone kill the King stood in front of him. Now the Young King was choosing to hear the prophecy as them being destined for each other, rather than simply destined to help each other. “You should rest. His wound is healed but he will still need your help returning to Camelot in the morning.” The dragon added, watching as Arthur glanced around unsure. “I will keep watch. I understand it is hard to trust me. I exacted years of anger and revenge on you and your people but I am older now. My time in captivity at the hands of your father is but a memory and I have no further desire to destroy. Only to help those in dire need.”

“Thank you.” Arthur nodded, he never expected to see the dragon again let alone be talking to the creature. Lying down next to Merlin he tossed and turned for a while. He was scared, that he’d sleep peacefully as Merlin faded away from him right beside him. Finally he made a decision, after all there were none but him, merlin and the dragon so who was there to judge? Carefully he moved to rest his one hand on Merlins chest, the other taking his hand. Feeling his friends chest rise and fall with solid breaths brought him comfort, finally allowing him to drift off to sleep.

Chapter Text

The next morning Merlin woke to the strangest sensations. Everything hurt, not just an ache this time but deep rooted pain. He tried to remember the previous day and was struck with the feeling of the arrow piercing his side. Arthur finding them in the clearing and helping him. Holding him close, crying over him. He could just hear the sound of Arthurs sobbing, he wanted so desperately to comfort the man in question but his body refused to do anything.
Now he felt a warmth in his one hand, and something resting on his chest. Opening his eyes it took a second to adjust and comprehend what he was seeing. The king himself still holding Merlin as he slept. In a total daze he ran his hand over where his wound should be finding nothing. Finally looking up he saw Kilgharrah, watching him intently and started to piece everything together.

“Thank you.” Merlin spoke quietly, so incredibly grateful for the dragons assistance.

“It is my pleasure.” Kilgharrah responded with a small bow.

“For a second there, I thought you weren’t coming.” Merlin almost laughed. He had truly thought last night would be his final one on this earth.

“I would never forsake you, young warlock.”

Merlin laughed quietly before tilting his head to one side. Something didn’t look quite right. “Are you alright?”

“Of course.” Kilgharrah responded simply.

Merlin shook his head. “Your wing.”

“I am tired Emrys, that is all. But I shall serve you as long as I have the strength.”

“If you’re ill I can heal you.” Merlin spoke with a new confidence and an almost cockiness about him.

“There are some things even a warlock as great as you cannot overcome.” The dragon watched as tears sprung to the young mans eyes and smiled at the fondness that had formed between them. “I am old Emrys. My time had almost come.”

“No.” Merlin replied in complete denial.

“It is the cycle of life. No more. No less.”

Merlin swallowed hard, his voice coming out thick with tears. “What will I do without you?”

“You will remember me.” The dragon tried to comfort.

“Will I see you again?” Kilgharrah didn’t have an answer and so decided to leave without one. Turning away he soared into the morning, waking the young king as he did so.

“Merlin!” He beamed, pulling the brunette in for a tight hug. “I thought I’d lost you… again!” His stomach twisted at the thought, even more so at the idea that he’d perhaps nearly lost Merlin more times than he’d even realised.

Merlin himself froze for a second, never expecting the King, his King to throw his arms around him so freely. Yet here he was, embracing the younger man as though it was the most obvious thing and after that fleeting second Merlin found himself melting into the blondes arms happily.

“Couldn’t give you that peaceful journey you were so wishing for.” Merlin mumbled happily into Arthurs shoulder, his arms snaking around the others waist as he huffed in amusement. And there they simply sat for a while, just holding each other until finally, albeit reluctantly, Arthur moved away. Still keeping contact with his hands gripping the top of Merlins arms loosely and examining him.

“I spoke to a dragon Merlin… the blasted creature that tried to destroy Camelot, he saved you.” Arthur had the most bemused look on his face as he informed his friend what had happened and it took everything in Merlin not to burst out laughing.

“Why on earth would a dragon save me?” He couldn’t hide the laughter in his voice and hoped it came across as shocked amusement when in fact he couldn’t believe Arthur had actually had a discussion with Kilgharrah and more to the point was unknowingly telling the last dragon lord this fact as though it was new information. If only he knew!

“I asked the very same thing!” Arthur chuckled, helping Merlin up and giving him another once over before they started walking. Apparently happy that his friend was strong enough for the journey. Despite this he stayed close, his hand often grazing Merlins as they walked. Both of them itching to reach out and close the gap fully each time.

“Sounds like you had quite the adventure whilst I was unconscious.” Merlin smiled, counting his lucky stars he had somehow managed to get them both out of danger and still keep his secret.

“I found out some interesting things…” Arthur trailed off, not even sure if he should say the next part or if Merlin would laugh at him. Meanwhile the warlocks stomach dropped wondering if he’d thanked his stars a bit prematurely.

“Oh really?” He asked, desperately trying to keep his tone light.

“Mmhmm.” Arthur murmered. Oh hell to it, he’d nearly lost Merlin. Now was not the time to be hiding his emotions. “Apparently we’re destined for each other.” He waved it off in a casual manner, very much disguising the fluttering of his stomach and the pounding of his heart at the concealed confession. In fact he was so wrapped up in his own jitters he’d failed to notice Merlin had stopped dead in his tracks until he noticed the missing sound of his footsteps. Turning back to the brunette he took in the picture before him. Merlin was bright red, all the way to the tops of his ears. It really was quite adorable to be honest. His mouth was hung in complete shock and he looked as though he were about to keel over again. “Are you okay?” Arthur asked returning to his friend, worry crossing his face as Merlin shook his head vigourously.

“I mean y-yes… I’m fine. I’m fine I- just…” Merlin tried to gather his thoughts. He assumed Kilgharrah had informed Arthur of the prophecy that they were two sides of the same coin yada yada ya. He just never expected Arthur to interpret it in this way, he’d never dreamt of his affections being returned and he was trying so hard to keep that hope in check. Especially considering the King hadn’t actually said those exact words and was still very much married to Gwen.

“Use your words Merlin.” Arthur laughed, giving him one of those ‘you’re an idiot’ looks with a heavy dose of fondness behind his eyes.

“I’d heard that before… a long time ago when we first met to be honest.” In for a penny, in for a pound. This time it was Arthurs turn to stop in his tracks.

“You knew all those years ago we were meant for each other!?” And there is was. Arthur snapped his mouth shut, his confession slipping out easier than he’d meant it to. Merlins eyebrows shot up as the two men stared at each other as they so often did. But this time it was charged with something entirely new.

“Well we didn’t exactly like each other back then… let alone anything else!” Merlin joked, easing the tension between them. Thank goodness. He thought they were either seconds away from running in opposite directions or actually leaping on each other, and whilst the latter thought was quite enticing he didn’t think it appropriate at that moment.

“This is very true.” Arthur stood, thinking for a moment. “Why haven’t you told me before?”

“Arthur you were the crown prince of Camelot and now the King. Add to that your love for Gwen and why on earth would I admit something like this knowing there’s no possibility of it ever coming true. Damn what the prophecy says, what I saw every singly day told me otherwise.” There was a deep hurt to his voice that Arthur couldn’t ignore. Of course Merlin had loved him all this time, looking back now it seemed so obvious. They had grown so close so quickly Arthur had never stopped to consider what it could develop into. He’d been so focused on his duties and on Gwen that any passing thought of his servant was brushed off as just that, a passing thought. He never allowed himself to dwell on any of them too much as he found it all too awkward to face his friend the next day and try to retain some sense of normalcy.

“So what you’re telling me.” Arthur spoke slowly, choosing his words extremely carefully. “Is that you’ve been pining after me for years and not once thought to see if I returned the feeling?” He raised his eyebrow crossing his arms as though it was all so simple.

“Yes.” Merlin replied equally as simply. “If I had told you my feelings would you have allowed yourself to return them? Or would you have pushed me away and don’t say you wouldn’t have. We both know your habit of trying to do everything alone when times get rough or a bit too emotional for you.” The brunette mirrored Arthurs stance, happy with his point.

“Mmmm.” Arthur grumbled, not wanting to admit Merlin was right, but also knowing he damn well was.

“You were happy Arthur. Who was I to challenge that?” Merlin spoke softly, stepping forward and closing the gap between them a little.

“My destiny?” Arthur questioned helplessly.

“And I don’t want you to love me just because you think you have to thanks to some prophecy you heard.”

“I’ve loved you much longer than that!” Arthur admitted outright, flinging his arms up in frustration. “I finally realised it last night when I thought I was loosing you and it might have been too late for me to ever tell you just how much you mean to me. How I can’t live without you Merlin. How I wait for you every day to come into my chambers and bring a smile to my face. How despite the fact I have my wife lay next to me my mind wanders to you! Merlin, always you.” He was breathless with his confession, getting deja vu from their previous discussion on the riverbanks in which Merlin had thought they were talking about his feelings for Gwen. In reality it was all meant for Merlin, but Arthur couldn’t admit that at the time.

Once again the two men stood looking at each other, they weren’t sure for how long. Their breaths heavy as the weight of Arthurs confession landed for both of them. Shaking his head Arthur closed the gap, pulling Merlin close to him and pressing his lips against Merlins, trying to convey the years of longing in that one touch.

Merlin gasped as he was pulled close, his hands flying up and resting softly on Arthurs that had a tight hold on Merlins collar. He couldn’t quite believe what was happening. A few hours ago he was nearly dead and now he was quite convinced he might actually be. Arthur was kissing him, they were kissing and it was everything he’d ever dreamt of.

Reluctantly breaking the kiss, simply to find some oxygen Arthur rested his forehead on Merlins, keeping the closeness between them for a little longer.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Arthur smiled, releasing his grip and resting his hands on Merlins chest. Merlin breathed out in amusement.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted that to happen.” He replied, letting their noses rub together gently for a moment. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath in, wanting to live in this perfect moment forever.

“I can’t loose you Merlin. I said it last night and I meant it. You’re the most important person in the world to me. I only wish I’d let you know sooner and not waited until I’d almost lost you.” Arthur looked into Merlins eyes as he spoke, wanting the younger man to know just how much he meant every word.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Merlin reassured him, moving his one hand to cup Arthurs cheek, letting his thumb rub gently over his cheekbone. “We’re here now. That’s all that matters. We made it to this point.” With a smile he placed a kiss on Arthurs lips. Lingering for a moment before moving back once more, his heart almost leaping out of his chest when he saw Arthurs lips follow his for more at the loss of contact. Sighing heavily he kicked himself for saying the next line out loud. “Now what?”

Arthur opened his eyes, looking at the resignation already behind Merlins eyes.

“I don’t know exactly.” He admitted. “But I know I need to talk to Gwen.” The look of shock that crossed over Merlins face hurt him a little, he couldn’t deny it. “Wait… did you honestly think I’d go back to my wife and ignore all of this?” The sheepish look he was greeted with made him smack Merlin across the arm, a small laugh escaping him.

“Ow!” Merlin winced rubbing his arm. “I nearly died only a few hours ago remember!” He laughed, his hand immediately moving to his side as a shot of pain ran through him. He was healed, but clearly not entirely.

Arthur immediately jumped into action, rubbing Merlins arm gently where he’d hit and letting his other hand rest of the back of Merlins neck. A move he’d made so many times before, but now it felt more intimate.

“You’re such a dollop head.” Arthur joked.

“That’s my word!” Merlin replied with a smile which promptly faded as he finally addressed the question. “Honestly, yes, I did think that. It would just be easier for you and I wouldn’t blame you. I’d happily continue to be your servant. Gwens a good woman and an even better Queen.”

Arthurs heart broke. Did Merlin really think that little of himself that he’d be fine with Arthur just ditching him after confessing his love? That needed to change as soon as possible and he made a mental note to make sure Merlin always knew how much he was loved.

“She is a good woman you’re right. She deserves much better than me.” He watched as Merlin smirked, opening his mouth. “Say nothing!” He warned, gaining a cheeky smile that made Arthur beam in return. “But I know where my heart lies, and I hope you know me well enough by now to know I can’t simply walk away from that. Even if that would be the easier option.”

Arthur watched as Merlin processed his answer, finally nodding with a crooked smile. The sort of smile that used to make Arthur question everything, now he just allowed his heart to flutter and sink into the feeling of happiness.

“We should get you back to Gaius. As much as I’d love to stay out here and avoid reality for a little longer I still want him to give you the once over. Especially as you’re clearly still in some sort of pain, and don’t deny it.” He added quickly, cutting off Merlin once again as he went to oppose. Instead Merlin just smiled, this time pulling Arthur in close for another passionate kiss, leaving them both lightheaded and giddy as they made the final part of their journey back to Camelot and back to reality.

Chapter Text

Reluctantly Arthur left Merlin in Gaius’ chambers to inform the Knights that the sorcerer in question had in fact been found dead. He fabricated a story that she had taken Merlin from right under their noses, he had clearly fought for his life and succeeded but not without injury. At their worried looks he reassured everyone that he would make a full recovery as Gaius was tending to him as he spoke. Unbeknown to Merlin he was heralded as saving the day, something that would shock the young warlock to his very core as that never bloody happened!

As Arthur was meeting with the council to discuss further matters Merlin pulled out the small box, placing it on the table between him and Gaius and proceeding to stare at it. Prophecies had never served him well before, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know what information was held inside such an innocent looking vessel. But then he remembered Finna had given her life to pass on this information and gave the man across from him a small nod. Watching intently as Gaius opened it to find a sealed piece of paper which he opened carefully.

“What does it say?” Merlin breathed.

“Just a moment.” Gaius replied, looking at the old language written on the paper before starting to narrate. “Let loose the hounds of war. And let the dread fire of the last priestess rain down from angry skies, for brother will slaughter brother, for friend will murder friend…”

Merlins breathing started getting shorter and shallower as he listened, panic rising inside of him that he couldn’t fully conceal as his eyes glistened with tears. Gaius continued…

“As the great horn sounds a cold dawn at Camlann. The prophets do not lie. There, Arthur will meet his end upon that mighty plain.”

Merlin closed his eyes, exhaling a deep breath. He swore he could feel his heart breaking. They’d only just begun to realise what they could be to each other and now it could all be lost to him.

“So many have suffered so that I may hear this.” His voice was thick with tears as he rested his head on his crossed arms, all hope and strength leaving him as he heard ‘Arthur will meet his end’ on a loop in his mind.

“Yes.” Gaius agreed, placing the prophecy back in the box and sealing it. “I think I know what’s going through your mind Merlin.” Gaius looked at the pale man sat in front of him, his own heart breaking, knowing everything he’d been through, all he’d fought for and sacrificed and still come to this conclusion. Merlin couldn’t even look at the older man, a small flicker of amusement came to him when he realised Gaius couldn’t even begin to know what was going through his mind, especially not after the events of this morning. But he continued to listen anyway, curious as always for his guidance.

“That your destiny’s almost too much for one man to bear.” Gaius concluded, gaining a huff of amusement and a small smile from Merlin.

“Yeah.” He agreed with a nod. It was definitely too much for him to bear. “You always did know me best Gaius.” He added, reassuring the man and earning him a warm smile in return. The older man watched as Merlins smile once again faded, that haunted look crossing his face that happened all too often recently.

“Be assured of one thing. There was never anyone more capable than you Merlin. You will not fail.” Before Merlin could take any comfort from his words the warning bells began to ring violently followed by the Knights bringing in a horribly disfigured man. Merlin stood back, listening to their conversation, panic once again coursing through him as he heard Gaius speak.

“Morgana has declared war.” He announced, looking at Arthur. Merlins chest heaved as he tried to keep his breathing somewhat normal. He thought he had more time to prepare, more time to wrap his head around this blasted prophecy. It was all happening too quickly. Looking at Arthur he paled, not knowing if he could cope with loosing this man.

As if reading his mind Arthur glanced over at his servant, his brows creasing in worry as he thought Merlin looked about ready to collapse.

“We will prepare at once. If there is no more to be done for this man please ensure he has a proper burial, Merlin. I need you in my chambers at once to gather supplies for the meeting. We will gather in the throne room before dinner.” If Merlin actually had any breath it would have been taken away by the sight in front of him. Arthur, calm and regal as ever yet full of compassion and understanding as he dished out orders with such ease. As soon as he’d finished his commands everyone started moving and Arthur almost dragged Merlin along with him. Slamming the doors shut he sat Merlin down, kneeling at his feet.

“Breath Merlin.” Arthur spoke so gently Merlin thought he might actually have passed out. Only when Arthurs hand gripped his knee did he realise it was all real and so gave him a small nod. Arthur couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “You can’t just agree with me dollop head. You actually need to breath.”

Merlin watched as Arthur started taking exaggerated breaths in and out, his free hand directing Merlin to follow his lead. When finally the brunette let out a long breath, his shoulders slumping and his eyes closing Arthur was happy. Pulling him up to stand and embracing him. Something so entirely new for the pair of them, but so very welcome.

“You don’t need to worry.” Arthur moved away, holding Merlin gently by his shoulders. “We will get through this together, I promise.” The blonde watched as Merlins eyes blinked rapidly, clearly a million thoughts running through his mind that he would never communicate, his mouth was set into a hard line but he gave Arthur the tiniest of nods. “Now will you please give me a smile? Today didn’t start off so terribly now did it?” The King tried in vain, Merlins lips curling up for a millisecond before falling once again into a look of distress. Shaking his head Arthur leant forward, placing a soft kiss on Merlins lips, smiling himself when he heard a small hum of content from the other man. As he moved away he beamed, Merlins face looking much more relaxed and lo and behold, even showing a small smile.

“That’s better.” Arthur stated, resting his hand on the back of Merlins neck as they leant their foreheads against each other. “Come on. We’ll be late if we don’t go now.” And just like that, royal duties once again called.

After all that commotion the decision was made to wait. Wait until Morgana showed her hand and only then would they retaliate. Until that day life would continue as normal… well. Not entirely when it came to Arthur and Merlins new found feelings. As the duo made their way back towards the Kings chambers Arthur began acting strangely. He was fidgety and suddenly very quiet.

“Arthur?” Merlin whispered.

“Hmm.” The blonde murmured not looking back. “You’re dismissed for the evening. You need rest and I need…” He swallowed hard. To talk to my wife he finished in his mind.

“I’m fine sire.” Merlin matched his Kings tone, well aware that this was Arthurs default mode in times of high stress. If he’d concluded correctly he was going to talk to Gwen tonight and if talking to your wife about falling in love with your servant wasn’t a time of high stress he didn’t know what was.

“For once Merlin please listen to an order and rest for the evening. Or if you can’t do that at least join the knights in the tavern. Just make sure they don’t jostle you about too much. I know you’re healed but I don’t want to take any risks.” Finally stopping he turned to the younger man, nothing but care and love radiating from him. He didn’t mean to push him or anyone away. It just always felt like the easiest option and honestly he was scared. He didn’t want to hurt Gwen, but he knew not telling her would hurt everyone involved and that was something he wanted even less.

“Of course, sire.” Merlin gave him a warm smile, bowing ever so slightly but looking up through his lashes at the King. Arthurs mind flew back to the first times they’d met, when Merlin had done exactly the same and Arthur had felt the exact same flush rise to his cheeks as it did now. Had he truly been so blind? Had these feelings for Merlin been there all along and he’d just denied them or ignored them?

Glancing around to make sure they were alone Merlin placed a quick kiss on Arthurs cheek.

“She’ll understand.” He said, turning to leave.

“I truly hope you’re right.” Arthur replied, watching him go before preparing himself for the following conversation. Taking a deep breath he stepped into his chambers. Gwen stood over by his desk looking over papers, as beautiful as ever. This was going to be so much harder than he’d imagined.

Chapter Text

“You’re back.” Gwen beamed walking over and embracing Arthur.

“Did you ever doubt me?” He asked, a distinct lump forming in his throat at her unconditional love for him.

“Of course not.” She laughed looking up at him. “What is it?” She could tell something was wrong from the clipped tone in his voice.

“Guinevere.” He started, closing his eyes as they pooled with tears.

“Arthur?” She questioned, more worried than ever now. “Whatever it is you know you can talk to me.” Reaching up she brushed back his hair gently knowing something was truly wrong as he flinched away from her touch.

“Please sit.” He finally spoke, leading her to the table, pulling out her chair for her before pulling another chair to sit opposite his wife. Taking a deep breath he tried to find the words he needed. “I don’t know how to tell you this… I don’t want you to hate me.” He admitted selfishly.

“I could never hate you Arthur.” She said so kindly earning a sad huff and a tiny smile from the King.

“You haven’t heard what I have to say yet.” He finally looked up at her with the most broken smile. She was too good for him. Always had been, no matter what her position had been. She was truly the best of people and here he was about to break her heart. “Yesterday I followed Merlin…” Biting his lip he wondered how much he should admit about the following events.

“Yes, thank goodness you did. You got him back to Camelot safely.”

Arthur shook his head. “I nearly didn’t” He admitted. “I thought he’d died. I thought…” His voice broke remembering the image of Merlin, pale and still on the floor. “I realised just how much he truly meant to me when I thought it was too late I realised how deeply I care for him.” Tears shone in his eyes as he spoke, his voice thick from thinking about just how close he had been to loosing Merlin.

Gwen just laughed, taking Arthur completely by surprise, his eyebrow raising in question.

“Oh Arthur.” She giggled fondly. “Only you have never been able to see how much you two care for each other. It’s been obvious to every single person that has eyes for many, many years now.”

“It has?” Arthur questioned, his brows furrowed in disbelief. But he was rude and teasing and constantly shouting at the younger man. He also willingly sacrificed himself for him after only a few weeks of knowing each other, counted the days he didn’t smile, missed his company when he was away for only a few hours and would do anything for him. Okay perhaps it has been glaringly obvious.

“Yes Arthur.” She smiled, watching his realisation dawn on him. “You noticed when he hadn’t smiled in three days… I was twisted by Morgana for weeks and you never batted an eyelid.” There was already hurt behind her voice, as much as she tried to brush it off with a smile. Arthur felt a stab of guilt.

“I’m sorry Guinevere. Truly. You’ve always deserved so much better than I could give you.”

“You’ve given me more than I could ever imagine Arthur. You’ve been the most wonderful husband and shown me more love than I dreamed I would have. Please never doubt that.” Taking his hands in hers she looked up at him, total earnest in her eyes.

“I kissed Merlin.” He blurted out, much less tactical than he would have liked. Gwens eyebrows shot up with a gasp as she leant back.

“After he woke up, after I thought he’d died. I realised I couldn’t loose him Gwen, I couldn’t live without him and I realised I loved him, more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I’ve loved him right from the very start I just never let myself feel it. I always pushed it down, pushed it away and pretended.” He hadn’t realised tears had begun to fall until Gwen tenderly brushed one away. “I’m so, so sorry Guinevere. I love you, I truly do but…”

“But Merlin is your other half.” She finished, her voice thick with tears, her hand resting on his cheek softly. “I don’t hate you Arthur.” She smiled, watching as Arthur took the deepest breath, tears flowing freely at her statement. “How could I?”

“I’ve betrayed you.” He whispered, placing his hand on hers.

“No. You’ve been honest with me as soon as you had the chance. Arthur…” Taking his hands once again she leant down to look into his eyes. “Denying your love for someone for this long, you’ve put yourself through torture and despite that you have still been so incredibly kind, generous and loving to me as your wife. You can’t help who you love, we both know that.” She couldn’t help the tears that formed thinking of Lancelot and the events that had ensued. “I need some time.” She stated very clearly. “But whatever you and Merlin need from me, however I can help I’m here.”

Arthurs jaw actually dropped. This was the last thing he had ever imagined, but then Gwen had always been so kind, was it really such a shock?

“I- you- wh." Taking a deep breath he composed himself somewhat. "Thank you.” He managed to stutter out, gaining a giggle from Gwen.

“I don’t want to see you hurt just as much as you didn’t want to see me hurt. I know whatever lies in store for you and Merlin will be hard and I care for you both so deeply.” Swallowing hard she stood, a tear finally trickling down her cheek. Arthur followed suit, wiping it away for her with his thumb. Looking up at him Gwen gave him a sad smile, leaning up and placing a soft kiss on his lips before exiting and setting herself up in one of guest chamber for the night. She was sure Arthur would find her the finest place to live but for now this was more than enough for her. Sitting on her bed she finally broke down, weeping for all she’d lost and wishing more than anything she had her brother or Lancelot around to make things better and not for the first time missing her friendship with Morgana. She thought back to how they’d often theorise about Merlin and Arthur and how all those years ago they themselves had thought the Prince and his Servant would end up together. Little did they realise just how right they had been.

To the surprise of no one but Merlin he found Arthur alone in his chambers the next day. Placing the Kings breakfast on the table he opened the curtains with a flourish, getting straight into his usual routine and earning a groan from the blonde still sprawled out under his covers.

“Rise and Shine!” Merlin chirped happily, hoping to at least start Arthurs day with a smile.

“Merlin you almost died yesterday.” Arthur grumbled, rubbing his face into his pillows and away from the light.

“It’s not the first time, so come on, up and at em!” Wincing he realised what he admitted as Arthurs head flung around to look at him.

“What do you mean not the first time?” He questioned sitting up slowly.

“Well there’s that time I drank the poison for you, then when the mace hit me and the rockfall stopped me from following you oh and when the Dorocha got me…“ Yes, just list the ones he knows about Merlin thought to himself.

“Alright, alright…” Arthur paled slightly thinking that was far too many times for his liking. He watched as Merlin came around to the side of the bed, reaching over to drag him to his feet.

“So it’s time to get up and get go-oh!“ He was cut short by Arthur pulling him into bed this time. Being the much stronger man it wasn’t hard and he couldn’t help but laugh as Merlin very unceremoniously landed in his lap. “What are you doing!?” Merlin cried, his legs sprawling out behind him as he propped himself up on one hand, his other holding onto Arthurs arm that was still very much wrapped around him and causing all manner of butterflies to make themselves known in his stomach.

“Getting you to rest for a change.” He smiled, pulling Merlin close, their chests pressed together as Merlin found himself burying his head in Arthurs neck, relaxing into the embrace. “That’s better.” Arthur murmured into the brunettes hair.

“We can’t exactly stay here all day.” Merlin laughed, his breath dancing across Arthurs neck and sending chills all over his body.

“We can if I decree it. I am the King Merlin.” The blonde replied, his voice heavy with a lust he couldn’t conceal and Merlin noticed it immediately. Slowly looking up at him their noses brushed together, Merlins hand moving to rest on Arthurs chest as the blonde ran his hand up to the back of Merlins neck, letting his fingers entwine with his soft hair.

“For once I may be inclined to follow orders.” Merlin breathed, their lips brushing together. Arthur laughed, closing his eyes and relishing every sensation.

“About bloody time.” He said, closing the gap and letting temptation take over. Alone, in his chambers, in his bed, was a whole new level of intimacy for them and they both took advantage of it. Hands exploring the others body, stopping the kiss for seconds to gather breath and move position before crashing their lips together once more. Finally after what could have been hours or even days, they had no idea, they fell back together. Merlins head resting on Arthurs chest, his fingers gliding along the soft skin in front of him as Arthur happily played with Merlins hair.

“I never saw this coming, not in a million years.” Merlin admitted, placing a soft kiss on Arthurs chest and smiling as the blonde shivered at his touch.

“Neither did I. I thought you were an idiot.” Arthur laughed, placing his hand over Merlins.

“It’s all part of my charm.” The younger man looked up at him with a cheeky smile, one that made Arthurs mind run wild. Even more so as he eyes glanced down the brunettes newly exposed neck. The neckerchief he always wore had simply been in the way and had been removed swiftly, along with his usual brown jacket, yet he’d never appreciated how wonderfully Merlins tunics sat on him, showing just a hint of a surprisingly toned chest.

“Since when did you have muscles?” Arthur spoke before he realised what he was saying. Merlin laughed, the tops of his ears going red.

“Why? Would you like to see them?” Merlin teased, not sure where his bravado had come from, but going with it anyway.

“As a matter of fact I would.” Arthur faked confidence, the blush on his cheeks giving him away.

“Go on then.” Merlin encouraged, his voice low with want for the man in front of him. Looking into each others eyes they had one of their famous wordless conversations until finally Arthur had a. Built up the courage to actually act on his words and b. He was fully confident Merlin was okay with it and slowly undid the belt looped around Merlins waist. Tossing it to the side he then hooked his fingers underneath the bottom of his tunic, his fingers brushing against the toned skin of Merlins waist and causing the younger man to gasp involuntarily. The noise only encouraged Arthur more as he slowly pulled off the red tunic, throwing it to join the belt on the floor. Taking in the image before him he swallowed hard. Merlin was undeniably beautiful and how he hadn’t noticed it happen he wasn’t sure but Merlin did indeed have muscles. His arms and torso toned as though the gods themselves had carved him.

“Merlin.” Arthur breathed in appreciation, his eyes finally landing to look into the others once more, finding an extremely self conscious man before him. “Hey.” He spoke softly pulling him close without thinking, both of them stopping as skin hit skin. Running his hand up Merlins arm he watched as Merlin closed his eyes, sighing at the touch. Leaning down Arthur placed a soft kiss at the base of his neck earning himself a quiet moan from the brunette. “You’re beautiful.” Arthur whispered, placing another kiss just slightly up on Merlins neck.

“Arthur.” Merlin moaned quietly, his own hands resting on the kings waist.

“So beautiful.” Arthur smiled, placing another kiss on Merlins jaw. Surprised at how Merlin leant away to reveal even more skin for him, so trusting of him in that moment. Once again Merlin moaned happily, his fingers running up Arthurs back, leaving goosebumps everywhere they touched.

“And finally mine.” Arthur finished, cupping Merlins face in his hands and once again crashing their lips together with more passion than either man had ever felt for another before.

Chapter Text

Merlin didn’t know if he’d ever felt this content in his life. His head laying on Arthurs chest, the kings arms wrapped tightly around him as they spoke quietly about the days ahead of them. Only the sharp knock on the door pulled him out of his happy daze, his eyes wide looking at Arthur.
Nodding his head and looking behind him at the arch way Merlin took his hint and hid behind the curtain, grabbing his clothing as he went. Arthur cleared his throat, shuffling down the bed as though he’d just woken up.

“Enter.” He called. Sir Leon stepped in looking at the King confused.

“Sire your council meeting started a while ago, we wondered if everything was okay with your absence?” The Knight spoke with concern in his voice.

“Ah my apologies Leon, please pass them onto the entire council… I’m afraid I forgot to appoint another servant to wake me.” He began, once again figuring out the lie as he went. “I wanted to grant Merlin some rest to recover but with the events of yesterday it must have escaped my mind to organise anything else.” He spoke with such conviction even Merlin himself nearly believed him. That was until Leons eyes landed on the plate of breakfast the servant in question had laid on the table and his eyebrow raised.

“Very well my Lord. As long as you are safe and well. Shall we see you on the training grounds this morning?” Leon was nothing if discreet.

“Yes, of course. Thank you Leon.” Arthur smiled, his cheeks blushing furiously as the knight left and Merlin burst out laughing.

“That was close!” He laughed padding forward with his clothes in hand. Arthur wasn’t sure how he hadn’t noticed the scars before but his eyes glanced over Merlins chest, seeing the angry wound from the arrow, what he assumed was the mark of the mace he’d taken not too long ago as well as the scar on his arm that Arthur himself had patched up. There were many more too though, more than some of his warriors carried.

Merlin noticed him staring and self consciously pulled on his tunic, adjusting it awkwardly.

“Sorry.” Arthur walked over to him. “I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just…” He didn’t know how to say it tactfully and not hurt Merlin. You’re covered in scars and I’m worried about you probably wasn’t the best thing to say even if it was the truth.

“There’s more than you thought?” Merlin suggested for him, as Arthur nodded he smiled. “Got a talent for getting myself in trouble it seems.” His grin turned into that beautiful cheeky one that gave Arthur butterflies.

“At least you’ve got a talent for something.” He teased ruffling Merlins hair and heading over to his breakfast, finally.

“Hey!” Merlin laughed flattening down his hair before starting to gather Arthurs supplies for training.

“I was serious about you resting Merlin. You don’t need to do that.” Arthur said softly, taking the clothes from his servants arms.

“I’ve worked in worse conditions.” Merlin shrugged as if him nearly dying yesterday was nothing, which, if he truly thought about it, really wasn’t anything new to worry about. Arthur just looked at him in disbelief.

“Well that changes now… if you insist on working then you can accompany me to training and do some light duties.” He emphasised the light with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes sire.” Merlin smiled, helping Arthur dress as he always did, yet this time felt different. After their intimacy every touch felt charged, every glance full of want and Arthur ended up being ready twice as quickly as their usual lingering touches turned to fast movements before either of them got distracted.

“You know.” Arthur started as he picked up his sword. “I never noticed how close we’d get before.” He blushed a little, knowing now why he would ask for Merlin specifically or would lean into his touches and allow much longer than needed just for him to get ready, if it meant Merlin combing his hair with such care and softness that he could easily fall back asleep.

“Neither did I.” Merlin laughed, thinking how he’d purposefully run his fingers through Arthurs hair as he styled it, or brush his fingers over his skin as he adjusted collars or sleeves or anything to be honest.

“We really are quite blind aren’t we.” The king chuckled, making their way towards the training ground. As they emerged into the courtyard they paused at the top of the stairs, Gwaine flinging his arm around Merlin.

“You’re looking better!” He exclaimed happily.

“It’s all thanks to Gaius.” Merlin smiled returning the hug.

“The princess here tells us you saved the day. I always said to him you’re the strongest one out of all of us, he just didn’t realise it.” Gwaine laughed walking down the stairs with Merlin, Arthur leading the way as always. Merlin beamed, laughing shyly at Gwaines proclamation. As he looked down towards his king he spotted Mordred walking towards them and his world started to spin. Stopping dead he gasped for breath, swaying as he struggled to breath.

Arthur will meet his end... Don’t trust the druid boy... Arthur will meet his end…

The thoughts ran in a loop through his mind, he could hear muffled noises around him. He thought maybe someone was calling his name but he wasn’t sure. All he knew was the floor looked as though it was coming up to meet him before sliding away as his eyes darted about to focus on something.

“Merlin!” Gwain shouted, holding onto his friends arm tightly as he swayed beside him. He’d gone ghostly pale, his breaths wheezing out of him as his brows furrowed, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Get him to Gaius now!” Arthur yelled, having spun around immediately at Gwains cry. Merlin felt himself move and the world went black as Gwaine carried him to Gaius’ chambers, an incredibly worried Arthur following behind.

Once Merlin was lay safely in his bed with Gaius attending to him the Knights began talking.

“He was fine, we were laughing and then suddenly he stopped. It was like he’d had the wind knocked out of him.” Gwaine described, remembering the horrified look on his friends face.

“I believe the events of the past few days may have taken more of a toll than he wished to admit.” Gaius spoke calmly as he exited Merlins chambers. “So everyone out. He needs rest and peace and quiet.” His famous eyebrow shot up and the knights swiftly exited, asking Gaius to tell Merlin they were thinking of him and if he needed anything he knew where they were. Meanwhile Arthur hovered back, ordering his men to carry on training and that he’d join them in a moment.

“Sire.” Gaius bowed to the King.

“Is he truly okay?” Arthur questioned, feeling like a lost little boy in that moment. He was helpless, yet again, and he hated it. Gaius gave him a warm smile, his fondness for the man in front of him growing with every passing day.

“He’s exhausted sire. Whilst a dragon breath can heal the external damage done it can’t take away everything.” Arthur stammered at Gaius knowing how Merlin had been healed. “Merlin told me everything, no need to worry. I’m just thankful he’s home and alive.”

“Thank you Gaius... I can’t loose him.” He admitted without realising it.

“You won’t. He’s much stronger than we give him credit for. He’s faced much worse than this and been at your side the very next day, I believe there may be more to it this time around.” He had deducted that Merlin had suffered a severe panic in the courtyard, he guessed over Arthurs upcoming prophecy.

“What do you mean?” Arthur questioned walking towards the older man.

“Sometimes we learn things we wished we could unlearn. My Lord if I may speak candidly Merlin has a lot more on his mind than I would wish upon my worst enemy.” And Merlin would probably kill him if he knew he was hinting any of this towards Arthur himself, but The King clearly cared for him deeply. Perhaps together they could avoid the prophecy, damn what they said about not lying! Arthur stood for a moment, clearly absorbing what Gaius had told him before giving a short nod.

“When he wakes please send him up to my chambers if he’s feeling strong enough. He’s not to do any work whilst there but inform him we need to speak. I can’t have my servant passing out every other day, we’ll find a way together so he can complete his duties.” He hoped Gaius would take it as a friendly gesture, simply getting his servant to do his job for once. Of course it was anything but, if something was weighing so heavily on Merlins mind he wanted to help.

“Of course sire. I’ll send him up as soon as I can.” Gaius smiled, placing his hand firmly on Arthurs shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “Now you best be off before those lazy Knights think they’re getting an easy training session.” He added with an amused chuckle, Arthur outright laughing.

“Yes Gaius.” He beamed, not even minding that he was being ordered around. “And thank you.” He added as he left to whip his knights into shape.

Chapter Text

When Merlin woke he was greeted by the soft sounds of Camelot he’d grown to love. Gaius pottering around his workstations, the bubbling of elixirs and grinding of the mortar. Chattering and laughing going on outside his window of a bustling market day and off in the distance the clear ring of swords clashing from a training session. As his mind caught up he realised if he could hear all that it was very much midday and what on earth was he still doing in bed!?

Getting up quickly he walked out into the main chamber, Gaius greeting him with a smile.

“Ahh you’re awake! How do you feel?” He asked walking over to the young man.

“Confused. Where’s Arthur? Why was I asleep in the middle of the day?” Placing the heel of his hand against his head he scrunched his face up in confusion.

“You fainted dear boy. Arthur is training with the Knights. He asked me to send you up to his chambers to talk when you felt better.” Turning to their table he pushed across a bowl of stew, figuring Merlin needed some sort of nourishment.

“That doesn’t sound good.” Merlin grimaced sitting down to eat.

“What happened Merlin?” Gaius asked sitting opposite him, earning a sigh from the younger man as he stirred his stew mindlessly.

“I saw Mordred and panicked. I’ve only just…” He didn’t know how much to admit. He hadn’t told anyone of his and Arthurs confession. The only person that knew so far was of course Gwen. Which reminded him, he really needed to speak to her too.

“Go on.” Gaius nudged. “You should know by now anything you tells me stays in this room.” He added, Merlin smiling fondly at him.

“Arthur and I…” He looked up, searching for his words. “We…”

“Oh spit it out Merlin.” Gaius laughed, guessing already where this was going.

“We’re together. I think. Or at least, we admitted there’s something… he spoke to Gwen and she… well I don’t know actually but I need to talk to her too.” He rambled, his words tumbling out in a mess of stammered sentences.

“Melin, enough.” Gaius smiled with a chuckle, stopping his rambling. “I’m happy you two have finally figured it out.” He couldn’t help but laugh as Merlins jaw dropped.

“You knew!?”

“My boy everyone but you two did.” Shaking his head he continued to eat his lunch as if one of the biggest bombshells of Merlins life hadn’t just been dropped in front of him.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” He was once again getting deja vu from his conversation with Arthur.

“It wasn’t my place to say dear boy. This was something the two of you had to work out for yourselves.” Gaius was being so nonchalant about the whole thing it threw Merlin through a loop. “Now I understand why seeing the person destined to kill your new found love might cause you to collapse.” He added more seriously, looking up at the young warlock who simply nodded in agreement.

“I can’t loose him Gaius.” Merlin spoke with his voice low and soft. Not expecting to be met with a laugh. “It’s not funny!”

“It is when Arthur spoke those exact same words to me but a few hours ago.” Gaius raised his famous eyebrow once again as the two men fell into a comfortable laughter. “Will you tell him?”

“Which bit exactly?” Merlin thought of all the lies and half truths he’d told and his stomach twisted itself into a thousand knots.

“Any of it.”

“I don’t know Gaius. I don’t want him to hate me, but now this has happened I don’t know if I can continue lying to him. And I don’t know if anyone should know of their impending death.” His voice caught and he looked down, clearing his throat before looking back up teary eyed.

“My dear boy. To have so much responsibility and knowledge on your shoulders… I can not fathom the burden you must feel. Only you can decide how much or how little to tell Arthur but I trust you will do the right thing. I mean what I said, there are none more capable than you. It may feel like too much, and at times impossible, but I know you are the only person that can succeed in the days ahead.” Gaius watched as Merlin swallowed the very large lump that was well and truly stuck in his throat, a tear running slowly down his cheek.

“Thank you Gaius.” He croaked out, so incredibly thankful the man had taken him in all those years ago.

“I believe you have someone to talk to, if you’re feeling up to it.” The older man smiled, clearing away the plates and pulling Merlin into a strong hug before he left.

Once again his mind was reeling. Was he going to tell Arthur about his magic? About the prophecy? What did Arthur even want to talk about? Gaius was right, it was too much. Merlin just wanted to sleep, to forget about all the events that may be coming his way.

Sitting in Arthurs chambers he bounced his leg nervously, the waiting driving him mad and it had barely been a minute. Getting up he began tidying, making the bed and dusting off the sides. He removed the tray of food from that morning and when he was happy the room looked clean enough he spotted a half written speech on the kings desk and proceeded to finish it for Arthur.

That was when the King himself returned, looking around his room in shock at the cleanliness, his eyes landing on Merlin behind his desk. His brows furrowed in thought, the quill he was holding poised and ready to write his next thought.

“I expressly told Gaius you were not to work.” He laughed, setting down his training gear.

“I got bored.” Merlin smiled getting up to help the King.

“So now you decided to act like a good servant.” Arthur chuckled. “Perhaps I should have told you to rest a long time ago.” He mused as Merlin removed his armour and chainmail.

“You know I’ve never been the best at following orders.” Merlin smiled cheekily, placing them down neatly.

“Oh I certainly do Merlin!” As the brunette turned back to him Arthur placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. It felt so natural and yet it made both of them stop in their tracks. “Was that… alright?” Arthur asked self consciously. Merlin smiled taking his hand.

“More than.” He reassured with a squeeze as Arthur pulled him over to the table and sat him down. “What happened earlier Merlin?” He asked earnestly. “Please be honest with me.” He added as he watched Merlin chew on the inside of his lip, clearly thinking over what to say. Taking a deep breath he started.

“You remember how the dragon said we’re destined for each other?” He didn’t think now was the time to dispute what the King had chosen to hear and as Arthur nodded he continued. “Well there’s more to the prophecy.”

“Right.” Arthur leant back in his chair, listening intently as Merlins eyes darted about. Should he tell Arthur he’s destined to die by Mordred’s hand? That it will be at a place called Camlann? Would he want to know? No, definitely not.

“You are destined to be the once and future King of Camelot. It is said you will bring about the golden age of Albion, unite the lands and usher in a time of peace.” Arthurs eyebrows shot up, him, do all that? “It is foretold that you will be the greatest King these lands have ever seen and you will do that with the help of the great Emrys…” Was he really going to do this?

“The sorcerer?”

“Warlock.” Merlin corrected. “Emrys doesn’t practice magic.” He couldn’t lie, it felt a little weird to talk in third person. “He is magic itself. He was born with magic and uses it only to protect you and Camelot.”

“Right.” Arthurs brows were furrowed. “So when they say peace and uniting, they mean bringing magic back to Camelot?” He quite rightly pieced together and when Merlin nodded he leant forward, his knees on his elbows. “But you yourself said magic can have no place in Camelot. I don’t understand. Am I to now turn my back on everything my father taught me? On what you told me? And how does any of this relate to you fainting earlier?”

Merlins breathing started increasing again, there were so many questions and he didn’t know where to start. Placing his hands on Merlins knees Arthur looked at him, aware it was a lot to ask of him especially after everything he’d just been through.

“It’s okay Merlin. Breath… I just want to know the truth.” He said softly.

The truth…

“I have magic.” Merlin blurted out, feeling sick at the admission. Even more so when Arthur instinctively flinched back from him, the unmistakable look of fear in his eyes. “I only use it for you though Arthur… to protect you. It’s only for you.” His voice faltered, tears streaming down his face as Arthur processed the confession.

“You’re Emrys.” Arthur wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement but suddenly things started to make a little more sense.

“Yes…” He wanted to say more but didn’t know what exactly and as Arthur stood turning his back to him he swore his heart broke. He was going to be executed, or banished. He wasn’t sure which was worse at this point.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Arthur questioned quietly. Still not turning around.

“You’d have chopped off my head.” Merlin smiled sadly.

“I’m not sure what I would have done.” Arthur admitted hanging his head.

“And I didn’t want to put you in that position.” Merlin replied, only then did Arthur turn around, tears falling freely as he looked at Merlin in confusion.

“That’s what worried you?” He asked incredulously.

“Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me? I was born to serve you, Arthur, and I'm proud of that, and I wouldn't change a thing.” Merlin said proudly, truth in every word.

“Merlin.” Arthur sighed, sitting down again. “You’re the greatest sorcerer to walk the earth… yet for years you’ve let me treat you like dirt on my shoe. You do tasks most people would turn their noses up at… I…” He paused shaking his head. “How have you not been driven to madness like Morgana?” Arthur swore if his eyebrows raised anymore in confusion they’d disappear into his hairline. Merlin snorted.

“I’m not sure sometimes!” Thankfully Arthur let out a small laugh himself, the tension seeming to ease a little. “I told you, I only use my magic for you. Doing those tasks meant I was close to you at all times. Much easier to look after you if I can see you.”

“Look after me? All this time I thought I was looking after you.” Arthur thought with amusement.

“It worked both ways at times.” Merlin comforted with a small smile.

“I have many, many questions. But first why did you collapse yesterday?” Get that out of the way and then he could question everything else.

“Finna… the enchantress you saw me meeting with.” He added at Arthurs confusion. Of course she had a name, they all did… they were humans just like him. Not a collective noun for evil, but normal people. Snapping his eyes back up to Merlin he was drawn out of his thoughts, giving Merlin a nod to continue. “She had another part of the prophecy for me. One that she gave her life to make sure I heard. One… not so optimistic.”

“That’s why she bowed to you. All those things she said… you were like a god to her.” Arthur pieced a few things together bit by bit.

“Ah I’d hardly say a god-“ Merlin blushed furiously.

“The way she looked at you Merlin… there’s not many that have even looked at me in that way and I’m crowned King of Camelot.”

“You’re also a clot pole.” Merlin gave him that cheeky smile, hoping it wasn’t too soon. Arthur gave him a mock look of shock, his lips turning up at the corners into a smile he couldn’t stop. “Yeah, that’s why though.”

“So the other part? We can face it together now Merlin, you don’t have to handle all of this alone.” It seemed so simple to him but the look on Merlins face said otherwise. The warlocks facade crumbled and he scrunched his face up, tears streaming as he tried his best not to break down entirely.

“It prophesied someone close to us is going to hurt you. That I shouldn’t trust him as it could be the end for you.” Catching his breath he watched Arthur carefully, worried he’d said too much. Arthur processed the information, his mind working overtime.

“And after our revelation the day before I saw this someone. The idea of them hurting you, of me loosing you after we’d just admitted how we feel. It was too much to bear.” Merlin added, trying to fill in some of the gaps. Arthur replayed the morning, who had been there. It was one of his knights, it must have been. Gaius wasn’t around, besides, after everything his father put the poor man through he was still loyal beyond doubt. It would never be Gaius anyway. Not Gwaine as they greeted each other absolutely fine. Leon had been in his room that morning with no reaction so he was ruled out too, to no ones surprise. Percival had appeared from behind them so it wasn’t him…

“Mordred.” He said finally making Merlins stomach drop. Noting the paleness that overcame the brunettes face he’d successfully narrowed down the culprit. “So that’s why you’re always so harsh with him.” How many things made no sense to him before, how many excuses or little quirks or questions about Merlin would now start falling into place knowing the truth?

“I tried. I really did… but…”

“You couldn’t ignore what was being said to you.” Arthur finished understanding. He’d been in that position far too many times. After what felt like a lifetime of silence for Merlin as Arthurs brain ran a million miles an hour he spoke.

“Arthur?” His voice cracked.

“Mmm.” The King murmured looking up at him.

“What are you going to do now?” The timidness of Merlins voice broke his heart.

“I’m not sure yet Merlin.” He answered truthfully, debating the best course of action on how to treat Mordred. Surely as normal? Any sudden switch would only push the boy further towards wanting to harm him right? Merlin nodded, a tear falling gently down his cheek causing Arthurs brow to furrow in confusion.

“I can leave today if that makes it easier for you.” Merlin spoke to the ground, unable to look at the man in front of him. He understood, Arthur has spent his whole life thinking and believing one thing and the law is the law. The King of all people must be seen following it. Didn’t make it hurt any less though.

“What are you on about?” Arthur spoke with that amused drawl showing Merlin was once again, acting like an idiot.

“You said you’re not sure what to do. I- I was hoping I might avoid execution but I can leave immediately if you’re going to banish me.” His voice was so small he was unsure he’d actually said anything and when he finally looked up the expression of disbelief on Arthurs face suggested he’d heard something.

“Merlin.” Arthur debated how best to say this without simply saying… “You’re the biggest idiot I know!” Never mind, it slipped out anyway. “I meant I don’t know what to do with Mordred. With you… look.” He sighed, taking the brunettes hands in his. “Look at me Merlin.” He searched those beautiful blue eyes, a smile growing on his face as he did so. “I don’t appreciate you lying to me all these years, but I understand why you did it. As for the magic issue… it’s not an issue. You of all people have had many, many opportunities to kill me. More than anyone else in this castle and yet I still live! Not only that you willingly sacrificed yourself for me multiple times and I’m assuming more than I even realised yet never once asked for any thanks or recognition. If you were born of magic then it can’t be evil. And who are we kidding both my father and I used magic at our lowest points. Perhaps it can be used for evil, but then a normal man can choose to follow the path of evil too. Does that mean every man is inherently bad? I can’t promise the laws will be changed immediately or that I won’t occasionally forget myself. I’ve spent my whole life fearing and hating magic. But I can promise I will do my best to change that and change the minds of everyone around me.”

Merlin was stunned to silence. Tears streaming down his cheeks as Arthur spoke. He wasn’t going to be killed. He wasn’t banished and even more than that, Arthur accepted him. Actually accepted him, magic and all. Taking a heaving breath to stop himself sobbing he tried to think of something to say in return to such a beautiful speech and when he struggled to find his voice to say anything he simply leant forward, kissing Arthur with all the love and gratefulness he could muster.

Arthur beamed, pulling the warlock closer. If his father could see him now he truly would be furious. Not only was he once again falling in love with a servant, they were also born of magic. Deciding it probably wasn’t the best time to think about his father he pushed the thought away with a smile, simply embracing the man in front of him and all he was and all they could become.

Chapter Text

It must be unhealthy, Merlin thought as he walked towards Gwens chambers. His heart had been hammering against his chest more times in these past few days than it had his entire life. Surely at some point it would just give out. Taking a deep breath and holding it for a second he tried to calm himself, but he was terrified. Gwen was his oldest and closest friend and just as he had with Morgana he’d hurt her. He couldn’t bare the idea of loosing her.

Knocking softly on her door he twisted his fingers together, focusing on deep steady breaths before he damn near passed out again. When she opened the door and a smile spread across her face he thought he might just pass away there and then.

“Merlin.” She spoke softly pulling him into a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Gwen.” Merlin sighed, hugging her tightly. “I’m so sorry.” The words tumbled out before he could stop them.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Come on.” She smiled pulling him into her chambers and closing the door. “You have nothing to apologise for you know that right?”

Merlin was struck dumb for a moment. He knew how kind and good Gwen was but he’d gone and stolen her husband from her… how was she this kind!?

“B-but… I- and you… and Arthur and we I- what!?” Merlin fumbled over his words causing Gwen to laugh.

“Merlin. I love Arthur. I always will but if we’re being honest now, my heart has always truly belonged to another as did his. His heart has always been yours. I remember talking to Morgana about it long ago when you first became his servant and he disappeared to find that flower. In all the years I’d known Arthur I never knew him to think of anyone else but himself let alone willingly sacrifice himself. Yet here he was but a week after meeting you ready to do whatever it took to save you. It was painfully obvious how close you two were, I always wondered if anything more had happened before Arthur and I got together.” She smiled, happy things were finally out in the open. She had a happy life with Arthur, truly. But there were always those unsaid things hanging over the pair of them. Now they were all free.

“No! Gwen he wouldn’t even hug me let alone anything else.” Merlin laughed thinking back whilst wondering who Gwens heart belonged to. Was it Lancelot? He understood, the Knight had been then best of them all and Merlin missed him every single damn day.

“He was in denial clearly.” Gwen giggled causing Merlin to belly laugh.

‘Maybe! What can I say, I’m irresistible.” He cocked his eyebrow with a cheeky smile before the pair of them broke into laughter at his attempt to be cocky. “Gwen, can I ask you something?” He finally spoke after they gained their breath back.

“Of course, anything.” She replied clutching her stomach still from laughing so hard. The tension of the past few days just melting away.

“Who is it your heart belongs to?” He almost wished he hadn’t asked after a pained look flashed across her face.

“Who do you think?” She questioned, genuinely curious if her attraction had been as obvious as the boys had.

Merlin debated for a second but ultimately decided to go with his first thought. “Was it Lancelot?” Gwen smiled sadly, remembering the fallen Knight.

“I did love him.” She mused out loud. “I miss him too.” She added, placing her hands on Merlins. “But I only knew him for a short time, we’d barely begun to feel anything for each other before he left. No, I spent a long time with someone who knew the real me, who was there for me when I needed them, who made me laugh when I wanted to cry and cared for me as not even Arthur did.”

“Morgana?” Merlin breathed his eyes filling with tears as he remembered just what he’d done to her all those years ago. As Gwen nodded in confirmation he felt even worse, if that was possible.

“That will never happen now though, she’s been twisted too much for any sort of reconciliation. Let alone anything else. But I know she loved me too, at one point.” Her voice broke as she thought of not only the friend she’d lost, but everything else the woman had been to her too.

“Gwen I’m so sorry.” Merlin whispered, trying to stop his voice from wobbling with his tears.

“It wasn’t your fault Merlin, Uther had dammed her a long time ago I believe.” She shrugged with a sigh as Merlin shook his head.

“It was my fault though Gwen… I made a huge mistake. I did something awful and now because of me Morgana is who she is.” Apparently it was the time for many confessions.

“Merlin don’t be silly, it couldn’t possibly be your fault. What could you have done that would turn her that way?” Gwen watched as tears streamed down her friends face, the most distraught look on his face, what on earth was he hiding?

“I poisoned her Gwen…” As the Queen gasped, covering her mouth with her hand he felt his heart break a little. “When the army of the undead attacked I found out the spell was attached to her. The only way to break it was to kill said person… I didn’t want to Gwen, please believe me, I loved Morgana dearly. I never wanted to hurt her but Camelot was falling. I didn’t know what else to do Gwen I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to stop it, I didn’t…” He’d started sobbing at some point, his words heavy with the weight of what he’d done as he hung his head in shame. He truly didn’t know how else to get out of the situation and yet every day he wished there had been one. Every day he felt the guilt sitting within his stomach reminding him of the hideous thing he’d done to Morgana. As he felt arms wrap around him he finally let the years of guilt pour out.

“You saved Camelot Merlin. Not only that you did it alone, then you’ve carried this with you for years… I don’t know how you’ve managed that.” Gwen spoke softly, her voice full of tears as she embraced him.

“It’s all my fault Gwen. Maybe if I’d been honest with her, maybe if I’d tried something else, maybe if I’d-“

“Then maybe we’d all be dead.” Gwen cut him off. “You can’t live with maybes, it will kill you slowly, believe me. I think of my father and of Elyan and a hundred maybes run through my mind but we can’t go back and change them. You went with what you thought was your only choice, with the weight of the entire kingdom on your shoulders. You saved us all and received no words of thanks from anyone. I know how much you cared for Morgana and I know you wouldn’t have made that decision lightly.”

Merlin honestly thought he was going to be sick. Not only had Arthur accepted his magic but now Gwen was telling him this thing that he’d carried with him for years was okay, that he didn’t have to feel guilty about it after all. That perhaps everything he had blamed himself for wasn’t actually his fault. Yes, of course he’d contributed but just maybe Morgana would have turned out this way without his interference. He’d never know and he’d never stopped to think that way before. Instead he’d simply beat himself up over it again and again and again.

“You’re too good for any of us Gwen.” Merlin spoke finally. “Thank you.” Pulling her close again they sat like that for a while, embracing each other and letting the past fall away. Their sadness, their guilt and all their maybes wash away with their tears.

Chapter Text

It had all started out so innocent. A simple hunting trip with the knights and suddenly Mordred is reuniting with his old flame and now… well now Mordred has disappeared and despite everything, despite Arthur knowing it still came to this. Merlin wanted to scream, he wanted to tear the place apart, let fire rain down from the heavens. He’d done everything in his power and yet here he was totally and utterly powerless for the first time in his life. Whatever that thing was it had done exactly as Morgana had intended and he didn’t need to be a genius to figure out it was Mordred that had let the secret out.

As Arthur declared his plans to ride out and meet Morgana it took everything in him not to break down. With the entire council present he simply stood back as always, tears threatening to fall as his breaths yet again became short and shallow. Returning to the Kings chambers to start on his chores for the day he let those tears finally fall, quickly swiping them away before he lost it completely. As he brushed yet another from his cheek he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist.

“Talk to me.” Arthur hummed in his ear, holding the brunette close to his chest.

“I’m fine.” He lied automatically, leaning back into Arthur touch.

“Merlin.” The blonde scalded lightly, placing a kiss on his cheek. “You don’t have to do that anymore remember?”

“Sorry.” Merlin smiled, turning to catch the kings lips with his. “Force of habit.”

“Mmm, you can make up for it later.” Arthur smiled cheekily, that playful glint in his eyes making Merlin relax a little. “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Merlin took a deep breath, chewing on the inside of his lip as he still wanted to tread carefully with the truth. “I’m just worried about you. I understand your plan, but Morgana commands such a great army. We can not compete.”

“Ahh but she doesn’t realise we have magic itself on our side.” Arthur smiled confidently. He didn’t know the extent of Merlins power yet, nor did he know if Merlin could even go toe to toe against Morgana. But he knew the playing field was at least a little more even than some realised. However his confidence wavered as Merlin froze. “What is it?” Arthur turned the brunette to face him, tears streaming down his face.

“I lost my magic.” Merlin stammered out. “Mordred must have told Morgana and they sent this… this creature. It attacked me this morning and consumed everything. I’m totally worthless.” He watched the King pale as his tears stopped, apparently having run dry now.

“Merlin you are not worthless. Loosing your magic… I can’t pretend to know how that must feel but it does not make you worthless, do you hear me?” Arthur watched as Merlin gave a tiny nod. “I don’t think you do... You are so much more than your magic Merlin. You’re brave and loyal, you would do anything for the people you love without a second thought. You’re kind and thoughtful and resilient and one of the strongest people I know. Percival obviously tops that list… with me shortly after.” Arthur added to break the heaviness of his statement, gaining him a laugh from Merlin. “Never, ever say that you are worthless.”

“Yes Sire.” Merlin was speechless. These past few days had all been a bit too much for him. If he was being honest the past few years had been too much. But within such a short amount of time his worst fears had all been tried and proven to be untrue and now Arthur was making declarations about him that he couldn’t ever have dreamt of.

“Much better.” Arthur smiled. “Now we need to return to the council, plans need to be made, as you know, but after we need to talk about the fact you were attacked this morning and still came into work. Are you stupid!?” He smiled as they walked towards the main chamber.

“You know what, I do wonder sometimes.” Merlin mused with a smile, happy that they still had their old teasing between them to lighten the mood.

His mood didn’t stay that way for long though as he listened to the discussion, zoning out for a moment as he tried not to mourn the loss of his magic too much, surely there was a way for him to get it back? There must be, he was born of magic, that must have come from somewhere to begin with. A spark went off in his mind as a plan started to come together and as he zoned back into the conversation before him he heard Arthur posing a question.

“What do they call this place?”

“Camlann sire.” Percival replied and Merlins heart stopped, any hope he may have just felt gone.

“Then it is at Camlann that we make our stand.” Arthur declared, as everyone was dismissed Merlin shakily made his way back to Gaius’ chambers, his legs threatening to give way at every step as his whole body shook. He knew him and Arthur had agreed to speak but he couldn't face the man. Not knowing his potential death was literally on the horizon and when he didn't even have his magic to protect him. He had to get his magic back, he wasn’t going to let Arthur get hurt. He couldn’t.

The decision was made, now he had to find a way to get there. He knew Arthur wouldn’t back down from the battle so he must go to the crystal caves alone, well, with Gwaine of course. But what on earth would he say to Arthur. He knew the King wouldn't take his decision lightly, would he even support it? No, he couldn't think like that. Arthur would understand once he returned with his powers and could be of some sort of help. It would all be worth it then.

Standing in Arthurs chambers he tried his best to keep his cool. His hands clasped tightly behind his back as he scratched the edge of his finger nervously.

“I think you’ll find that’s everything, Sire.”

“Impressive. Very impressive. I’ve never seen work like it, well not from you anyway.” Arthur teased looking at the spread before him, happily getting a chuckle from Merlin.

“Thank you sire.”

“So, what are you after?” Arthur questioned, wondering what exactly Merlin was up to.

“After?” He questioned suddenly confused.

“Come on Merlin you’re the worst servant in the history of the world now suddenly this? Is it money?”

Merlin was slightly taken back replying with a short, “No.”

“No it can’t be that. You already won all of mine.” Arthur smiled at him suddenly thinking. “Hey you used magic didn’t you!” Merlin laughed, the ease of that evening seeming like a distant memory already.

“Maybe a little.” He admitted with his signature cheeky smile.

“You cheat!” Arthur laughed. “Okay so if it’s not money time off?”

“Arthur…” Merlin sighed, not wanting to return to that conversation. Could they not just stay with their playful nonsense for a while longer?

“No it can’t be that either, you’d just spend it here with me anyway.” The King teased knowing exactly what Merlin was like, his brow furrowing when this time Merlin didn’t return his smile.

“I just wanted to make sure you had all you needed for your journey to Camlann. For the days ahead.” He felt sick, he couldn’t look at Arthur anymore and suddenly he felt like a lump had once again lodged itself in his throat. He wished that damn lump would disappear.

“Thank you…” He stopped looking at the plans he’d picked up and directed his attention towards Merlin thoroughly confused. “Merlin, what do you mean, my journey?” There was something wrong, the brunette had his head hung, he looked paler than normal and was picking at his fingers nervously. He knew Merlin had lost his magic but surely he wasn’t backing out now, not at a time like this?

"I'm afraid I won't be coming with you. Not this time. I'm sorry. I have an urgent errand to run for Gaius. Vital supplies that I can't attain here.” He didn’t mean for his voice to sound so cold and official but it was the only way he could get through it. He watched as Arthurs face dropped, the Kings eyes starting to glisten with tears and he wished, oh god he wished he could tell him everything. But it was no use, not this time. He had to lie to him one last time to save him.

“Vital supplies?” Arthur echoed, his fears confirmed. If he was going to die he wanted Merlin there with him, that’s all he’d ever wanted. Merlin by his side and yet the exact opposite was happening. He couldn’t blame him, really, he couldn’t But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Yes. It’s not that I’m…” Merlin went to continue.

“No, no.” Arthur hung his head, his own heart breaking into pieces as Merlins did the same. “It’s fine… It’s fine, I understand.” He struggled to hold back his tears, watching as Merlin did the same. How they could go from being so close to feeling a million miles apart was beyond him and it hurt like hell.

“Arthur…” He wanted Arthur to know how much he loved him. How if there was any other choice he’d take it. How he would happily die at his side but he wanted, no, he needed to do everything he could to save him. Hurt him to save him right?

“You know, Merlin, all those jokes about you being a coward...I never really meant any of them...I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met. Guess I was wrong.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wished he could taken them back. He was lashing out and he knew it but he was hurt, deeply so. It had been less than a week since they’d realised just how deep their love for each other was and now Merlin was running away and abandoning him when he needing him most. Perhaps he was being a little dramatic but it felt like yet another betrayal, something he wasn’t the best at handling at all. Turning around he watched as Merlin left his room and finally let his tears fall. Wishing with everything he had they would reconcile before his death.

Chapter Text

He’d never felt more helpless in his life and he hated it, more than anything. Screaming for Gwaine he cowered, actually cowered away from a Saxon. Luckily his friend was right there for him and took out the two men easily but Merlin was still shaken.

“You okay?” Gwaine asked surprisingly gently as he helped his friend up, not used to seeing him so vulnerable. Although he’d never really thought about it he did acknowledge how easily Merlin would follow the knights without even a weapon at his side. He hadn’t analysed it too much until this point though, after all, that was just how Merlin was but now he was seeing his friend in a whole new light and it made him begin to question things a little more.

“Yeah, I think so. Thank you.” Merlin nodded weakly, looking down at their attackers.

“No need to thank me Merlin, it’s the least I could do.” He smiled tapping his friend on the arm as they continued. “I’ve never seen you like that y’know. Usually we turn around and somehow you’re still there smiling as though nothing had happened.” He decided to broach the subject, he figured they were close enough for him to get away with it. Merlin huffed in amusement.

“I usually have a bit more help.” Merlin sighed, hoping with everything he had that his plan would work.

“Hey, I’m all the help you need.” Gwaine gave him a wicked grin and a wink causing Merlin to laugh and push his friend to the side. He’d always been so fond of Gwaine, more so than any of the other knights if he was honest. Not to play favourites of course… but Gwaine was his favourite. “But seriously Merlin, what’s going on? Disappearing without Arthur the night before a huge battle, hiding from a Saxon we both know you could take out easily…” His eyebrow raised he looked at Merlin who looked down at the floor, kicking a rock as he walked. A silence hung between them as Merlin debated his answer. Gwaine was clearly onto something there, he knew Merlin was hiding something.

“Gwaine… I have magic.” Oh to hell with it. If anyone would accept him he hoped it would be one of his closet friends and at this point he figured he didn’t have anything to loose.

“I knew it!” Gwaine smiled, nudging Merlin happily. The man in question stopped suddenly, nothing but pure shock on his face. “Well… I didn’t exactly know it. But I had my theories. I never told anyone though I promise.” He added, walking over to the warlock and placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” Merlin couldn’t help but question, realising it was somewhat in irony.

“For the same reason I assumed you never told me. We live in Camelot. The worry of even saying it out loud, who might overhear… I figured if I was right you were just keeping it to yourself.” He shrugged, not wanting to think of everything the man in front of him has had to go through. The struggles and despair he must have faced daily living in a place that deemed him evil, when Gwaine was quite sure Merlin was the purest human he’d ever met… well him and Lancelot.

“I did want to say something.” He mused. “I’ve hated lying to you all but I never wanted to put any of you in danger. If you were found to be consorting with a sorcerer, or if you didn’t agree with it and then were torn between your loyalty to Arthur and friendship with me…”

“I would have chosen you mate. Every time.” Gwaine interrupted with a smile, gaining the biggest grin from Merlin that he’d seen in a while. “So what is it we’re doing now?”

“Morgana found a way to get rid of my magic. So I’m going to the birth place of magic to try and get it back somehow. I have to save Arthur and Camelot. She knew rendering me powerless would tip the scales in her favour and I can’t let that happen… I can’t.” And there it was, all of Gwaines suspicions completely confirmed. Merlin could never be evil, he only used his magic to help everyone. He was taking the weight of the entire kingdom, of Arthurs life on his shoulders and not once in the years he’d known this man had he asked for help. Never had he faltered or shied away, even without his magic. Even when deemed powerless he still continued fighting for everyone around him.

“I swear if I ever see her.” Gwaine practically growled, his overprotectiveness of Merlin coming out as they made their way towards a dead end, Merlin suddenly walking ahead of him.

“I can make my own way from here.” He muttered, feeling the magic all around him. He was so close… this had to work.

“Sorry?” Gwaine questioned, thoroughly confused.

“You needn’t come any further. I’ll be fine.” He replied, staring into the cave. It had to work he kept repeating in his mind.

“How will you get back to Camelot?”

Merlin turned to his friend, a slight smile on his face. “Once I have what I’m looking for I’ll be perfectly safe. I promise you.” Gwaine nodded, the pieces falling into place a little too slowly for his liking.

“But you’re still vulnerable now. I can wait, until you’re sure you’ve found it.” He hated the idea of just abandoning his friend like this.

“You have to trust me Gwaine.” Merlin smiled. “You should get going. Arthur will need you by his side.”

“Look after yourself Merlin.” The Knight debated for a moment, tears threatening to appear as he took in the wonderful man before him before tossing his sword to offer the handle to Merlin.

“You know to use the sharp end right?” He teased, not wanting to leave on such a heavy note and smiling when he got a chuckle from the man before him.

“Ha, yeah.” Merlin smiled, his classic crooked smile before grasping hands with Gwaine tightly.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for.” Gwaine desperately tried to hold back his tears as he watched Merlin turn and leave. Why this felt like such a heavy goodbye he couldn’t place and so he simply prayed that he would see Merlin again soon.

Making his way quickly through the caves everything became a blur as he heard Morgana’s voice echo around the chambers. Drawing his sword he tried desperately to stop his hand shaking as he held it towards her, but he knew it was useless. She was a high priestess, full of rage and power and it was all directed towards him. It didn’t matter how handy he’d become with the blade she could snap her fingers and he’d be dead. Yet that didn’t happen, as she backed away from him he stood strong, only jumping back as she screamed out an incantation and the stones above him crashed down blocking off the exit she’d just left through. He was too late to avoid the cascade entirely, the world turning black as they smashed onto him leaving him crumbled on the floor and very much trapped.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he finally woke, looking around the chamber completely dazed. Stumbling to his feet he made his way over to the rocks now obstructing his way and tried desperately to move them but nothing worked. Climbing up slightly he began to panic, clawing and scraping but only managing to scratch his fingers raw and send a few tiny rocks tumbling towards him. Loosing his footing he fell, collapsing against the wall and letting out the sob he’d been holding in. Everything he’d tried, everything he’d worked for had all come to this. Trapped, powerless and helpless with no one except Gwaine and Gaius knowing where he was and they were both marching towards certain death. He couldn’t help any of them. He thought of all his friends on their way to face Morgana and her army. Percival, Leon, Gwen and then as always his mind focused on Arthur. The look of heartbreak on his face as Merlin had informed him he wouldn’t be joining him. All that hurt had been for nothing, that would be the last he ever saw of his love and it had been one of his worst memories. Punching the wall he let out a guttural scream, all hope leaving him slumped and exhausted on the floor.

——

“Vital supplies.” Arthur couldn’t help himself. It had been playing on his mind the entire journey and honesty the words had come out before he’d even realised he was saying them.

“Excuse me sire.” Gaius questioned looking thoroughly confused.

“Shame Merlin didn’t feel able to join us.” He clarified, trying to hide the hurt in his voice and failing miserably. Looking between the King and Queen Gaius formed a reply he hoped would suffice.

“I’m sorry sire for I must take the blame, but I can not treat the wounded without sufficient medicine. The timing is unfortunate I grant you…” He watched as tears shone in the blondes eyes.

“Yes.” He replied simply. “Unfortunate as you say.” Gaius knew surely. Why wasn’t he telling him the truth? Why was it apparently so easy for people to lie to him? Walking away he decided to separate himself before he had an unfortunately timed outburst in front of everyone.

Confining himself to his tent he began pacing. He was devastated, there was no other words for it. All these years, no matter the threat Merlin had stood by his side. Now he realised the brunette hadn’t been quite as defenceless as Arthur had always thought but that didn’t take away his bravery, his loyalty. If anything it added to it as he went into every situation still with a threat to his life, if his father had ever found out Merlin was using magic, even to help Arthur, it would have meant the pyre for him without a second thought.

So why now? Why abandon Arthur now when he was sure these days were probably his last. Or perhaps it was just that? Perhaps after their confession Merlin simply couldn’t bare the thought of seeing Arthur die? Suddenly his frantic mind reminded him that Merlin had lost his magic, was he off somewhere alone trying to regain it? If the thought of Merlin abandoning him at the last minute was bad, this newly formed thought was even worse. The potential of Merlin being somewhere, alone, unarmed and maybe hurt and there was nothing Arthur could do. It was that thought that finally broke the King and he let the tears he’d been holding in the entire journey silently fall down his cheeks.

“I’m not sure he believes you Gaius. I’m not sure I do either.” Gwen spoke, tilting her head inquisitively. “We both know how devoted Merlin is to Arthur, he would never leave him at a time like this… not for a mere errand… not unless there was something else. Something he doesn’t feel able to talk about.” Her mind was racing. After everything that had happened recently she was just as shocked as everyone else when she found out Merlin had disappeared that morning with such a quite honestly rubbish excuse.

“My Lady there is something else. Something of the very greatest importance and I dearly wish I could tell you what it is but I can not for reasons that affects us all.” Lying to the King and Queen… sometimes Gaius thought it was a miracle he still had his head. Yet Gwens kind smile and nod reassured him that he’d keep it on his shoulders for at least a little longer.

“Then there is nothing more to be said.” She spoke simply. “Except whatever it is. I wish him luck.” And she truly did, wherever he was and whatever was happening she hoped he was okay.

Of course he wasn’t. At all, and yet as Merlin glanced around he caught sight of a blue light radiating from the top of the chamber. Without any hesitation he started scrambling up towards it. His body screaming at him in pain the entire time, the absence of his magic making itself known as small injuries that he could usually brush off made him breathless as he climbed. He tried desperately to ignore the dizziness that overcame him as he reached the top but it was too much. Stumbling forward his eyes lit up as he realised he’d actually reached the caves, but hope alone couldn’t keep him going and his body gave out on him, collapsing on the floor as once again the world went dark around him.

“Merlin…”

He couldn’t tell if he was dreaming or not as he heard his fathers voice call him, all he knew is he didn’t have the strength to move. He wished he could be stronger, especially in front of his father, he wished he could keep going but he simply couldn’t any longer. He had no reason to go on, Arthur, the love of his life, his destiny, his one reason for living was out there facing his death and all Merlin could do was lie on the floor. Everything in him was gone and yet here his father was telling him he was born of magic. Telling him there was still hope, he just had to believe and god he wanted to so badly. He wanted to believe he could get out of this place and still save Arthur, he wanted his father to tell him everything would be alright but once again his body protested against him and as he heard the words “Rest Merlin” he happily obliged, letting his eyes flicker shut once more.

Chapter Text

Arthur was exhausted and surrounded. He and all his men had been fighting fiercely but they were horrifically outnumbered. Swinging his sword with all the strength he could muster he jumped as a crash of lightening flung them backwards. Shaking off his momentary surprise he turned to strike those attacking from behind when the same thing happened again.
Catching his breath he took the moment of peace to gaze around and find whoever his saviour had been when his eyes fell on a clocked figure on top of the cliffs. His red robes billowed behind him as he sent thunder crashing down upon the saxons before shouting in a language he’d never heard before and sending the white dragon retreating from the battle and all without breaking a sweat. He swore for a moment he locked eyes with the man and would even go as far as to say those eyes were same brilliant blue of Merlins, but that would be ridiculous, for starters Merlin was young and handsome… not old with a quite frankly ridiculous amount of hair that looked rather like the sorcerer that had killed his father. Shaking his head before he could think into that anymore he raised his sword high above his head.

“For the love of Camelot!” He screamed, rallying his men and continuing the battle that he had the new born hope they may actually win.

Meanwhile Merlin made his way through the battlefield. He couldn’t process the loss before him it was completely overwhelming to see the sheer amount of sacrifice laid at his feet and so instead he focused on scouring the bodies that lay for one blonde in particular. His heart was hammering in his chest, praying with everything he had that he wouldn’t catch sight of the golden haired King lay amongst the fallen.

With their sudden advantage, unsurprisingly the Saxons had swiftly retreated and Arthur glanced around at the men at his feet, it was senseless. There had been no need for so much loss and yet here he was surrounded by it. Running over in hope he knelt next to one of his Knights, their hand outstretched to him as if he were some sort of saviour. Of course he felt like anything but at that point, even more so as he watched the man before him die in his name. Sighing he silently paid his respects, looking out in front of him as he heard someone slowly approach from behind. The distinctive ring of a sword cut through the silence and he waited, springing up at the precise moment he needed to block the attack.

Pulling his sword back he readied himself to deal the final blow but stopped, seeing Mordred stood before him. The young knight had an unreadable expression on his face but the hesitation was more than enough for the druid to do exactly what he had intended and Arthur could do nothing but stare in shock as he felt the blade pierce his side. Falling to his knee his breath caught, a wave of cold washing over him.

“You gave me no choice.” Mordred said simply, looking down at the King before him.

With all the strength he could muster Arthur leapt up, plunging his sword into Mordred as he grasped onto the front of his chainmail. Adrenaline coursed through him as he looked into the eyes of the Knight he’d trusted for so long and for a moment, as he saw the boy before him he felt guilt course through him. All of the anger and hatred seemed to melt from his face and reveal the young druid boy he’d rescued all those years ago. It didn’t last too long though as a twisted smile formed on Mordreds face and he slipped from Arthurs grip falling motionless at his feet.

Arthur stood in total shock his brain feeling as though it was thinking in slow motion. Return to camp, find your friends and find Gaius he thought glancing down at his wound and covering it with his hand as he started to walk. He only managed a few steps before the adrenaline wore off and he stumbled to his knees, using his sword as a crutch as he had seen Merlin do not so long ago.

Merlin…

Dragging himself to the rock face he let the brunettes face swirl in his mind whilst trying to control his breaths. Sooner or later someone would find him here, he hoped. Until that moment he would think of the man he loved, remember the good times with him, the times Merlin made him laugh when Arthur didn’t think it was possible. The times he’d listened without an ounce of judgment, the feeling of Merlin in his arms. As if he was holding the most precious thing in the world. The overwhelming electricity that ran through him the few times they’d kissed and it had felt like he’d gone to heaven for just a moment. He would remember that feeling now as he tried to forget the fact he may well be heading for a very real heaven as his eyes fluttered shut and the world turned dark.

Round every corner Merlin looked he felt growing sense of dread. The battlefield was so horribly quiet and it did nothing to rid him of his uneasiness. Stopping dead in his tracks he saw the unimaginable, Arthur slumped against the rocks, Mordred at his feet and neither of which appeared to be breathing. Stepping over the druid boy he tried to ignore the pounding in his ears lifting a trembling hand to find a pulse. Tears sprung to his eyes as he found one, hope was not yet lost and gathering all his strength he lifted the King into his arms, carrying him away from the battlefield and to safety.

Merlin had spent so long staring at the unconscious form that was Arthur he thought he might actually go mad and so he knelt in front of the fire, gazing out into the wood and trying desperately to calm his racing mind. He’d sent word to Gaius, telling him where they were heading and how to find them, now all he could do was wait. Wait for Arthur to wake, wait to find out how to heal him or wait for… no. He wouldn’t let his mind go there. He couldn’t. The idea alone made his heart break, he hadn’t worked this hard and come so far to loose Arthur now. He would do anything, literally anything to keep him alive. He didn’t care what it cost and he knew that was selfish, he knew it but he simply didn’t care. He had lost so many people already, sacrificed so much to keep Arthur alive, to fulfil his damn prophecy. He’d lived in secret and suffered through torture quite literally at times to save the man he loved he was dammed if he would give up now.

“Merlin.” Arthurs voice pulled him out of his spiralling thoughts and he jumped up, running over to the blonde.

“How are you feeling?” Stupid question he thought as Arthur tried to move, crying out in pain as he did so. “Lie back.” He instructed quietly, placing his hand gently on the Kings shoulder. “Lie back.”

“Where have you been?” Arthur questioned breathlessly, all anger leaving him as he took in the man in front of him.

“Doesn’t matter now.” Merlin replied with a sad smile. It really didn’t matter, all that mattered was they were together again.

“My si- my side.” Arthur winced remembering Mordred piercing his side and the iciness that had washed over him.

“You’re not bleeding.” Merlin said hopefully, looking at the wound. Although whether that was a good or a bad thing they would soon find out.

“That’s alright I thought I was dying.” Arthur joked to hide the truth. He honestly thought this was the end for him.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin whimpered tearfully. “I thought I defied the prophecy. I thought I was in time.” His lip trembled as he took in the man before him.

“What are you talking about?” Arthur smiled in bemusement at his love.

“I defeated the Saxons, the dragon and yet I knew that it was Mordred that I must stop.” His voice shook as tears threatened to fall, he’d taken too long. He had the power to simply walk through the Saxon army, perhaps if he’d done that first. Maybe if he’d…

“Merlin.” Arthur smiled pulling him out of his thoughts once again. “The person that defeated the Saxons was a sorcerer with the longest beard I think I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you grow stubble let alone a full beard.” He hated seeing Merlin this way, he understood the situation, he wasn’t trained to deal with battles the way Arthur had and so despite the fact he was the one quite possibly dying it came naturally to comfort him.

“Do you remember breaking his pot?” Merlin asked with a small laugh.

“Well yes, I felt awful… wait how did you? You weren’t…” Arthurs brow furrowed as another piece of the puzzle fell into place. “Don’t be ridiculous. I would know it was you.” He thought back to the few times he’d seen the sorcerer and not once had it been good news. But he had recognised his eyes, the first time they’d met, and then again on the cliff top he swore…

“When Gwen was accused of magic I had to find a way to save her. So I created a sorcerer to pin the blame on. Then anytime I needed to use my magic I just used him as a disguise.” Merlin explained, gripping onto Arthurs arm that was squeezing his shoulder a little painfully at this point.

“You killed my father.” He mumbled, the accusation hitting Merlin like a punch to the stomach and actually winding him.

“I was trying to save him. I swear.” He breathed. Tears began to fall as his worst fears seemed to be happening, not only was he physically loosing Arthur but emotionally too. He had thought this was all too good to be true. Arthur shook his head, moving away from Merlin as much as he could, which honestly wasn’t very far.

“Leave me.” Arthur didn’t know how to react this time. He’d reacted to Merlins magic quite well he thought, despite everything he’d been told growing up he could rationalise that perhaps it wasn’t magic that was evil. He understood Merlins reasons for keeping it secret and even though it hurt him a little to think they didn’t share everything that didn’t matter. Because as soon as they’d admitted their feelings for each other Merlin had told him… yet he hadn’t told him everything clearly.

“Arthur.” Merlins voice was thick with tears, he couldn’t stand the way Arthur was looking at him with fear in his eyes.

“Don’t- just, you heard…just…” He didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t face yet another betrayal and from the one person he thought he could trust. The one person that hadn’t let him down, the one damn person that had been there and loyal and true to him through everything. He could hear the whimpering noises coming from him and felt pathetic but it was too much for him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t run, couldn’t even lash out in anger at Merlin. All he could do was lie there, his mind running in circles. Merlin had killed his father. His Merlin, the man he loved… no. He couldn’t love him. Not now, surely not. He didn’t understand. Why would he even do that? Of course his father hated magic but why then? When he’d had so many opportunities previously? When he’d help save him so many times? Why save him to then kill him anyway? None of it made any sense and he was glad Merlin had turned away because once again he found himself crying and he wasn’t a fan of how many times that was happening of late.

The world around Merlin had gone silent, like all the noise had been muffled by his grief. Not only had he been too late to stop the prophecy now Arthur hated him, he couldn’t shake the look of fear behind those blue eyes and all of it was directed at him. Stumbling away from the fire and Arthur he leant against a tree, not once neglecting his look out but letting himself crumble, the emotions of the last few hours crashing over him as he sobbed silently wondering just how much more of this he could stand.

When Gaius finally arrived the next morning he was greeted with the most heartbreaking view. Arthur asleep and in front of him Merlin looking totally defeated, his eyes red from lack of sleep and tear tracks down his cheeks. His eyes darted frantically as his lip trembled clearly lost in thought. As he saw the old man approach he leapt up, looking at the supplies.

“Is that all you’ve got?” He began a rant, asking where various ingredients were his mind racing through anything and everything that could help as he desperately tried to blink back tears.

“Merlin why don’t you water the horses and make sure they’re fed. You can’t hide here for much longer.” Gaius replied simply, it wasn’t good for Merlin to be this way, full of panic as his breaths came out short and sharp. He needed to focus on doing something, both men knew this and Gaius was happy when the young man left without question. As soon as he did Arthur grabbed Gaius’s arm his eyes wide.

“He’s a sorcerer.” He wasn’t sure why he led with that and not with he killed my father. The expression he was met with confirmed a lot though. “You knew.” He sighed leaning back and letting his arm drop back down to his side. Of course he did.

“Arthur, he is your friend.” Gaius spoke softly.

“He killed my father.” He cut in sharply causing Gaius to lean back with a deep breath.

“He was trying to save him. I loved your father deeply Arthur, I stayed loyal despite sometimes questioning him do you think for a moment I would have called on Merlin to put himself in such danger and perform something like that knowing it would kill him?” Gaius spoke honestly, remembering how broken Merlin had been after the event.

“We both saw him do it Gaius how can you deny that.” He questioned thoroughly confused but also unfortunately realising Gaius had a point. The man saw Merlin as a son, and had served his father for years. He wouldn't put either of them in that situation.

“Arthur.” Gaius sighed leaning forward and placing his hand gently on the young kings arm. “Morgana placed an enchanted amulet around his neck, one that guaranteed any magic we tried to use would backfire. You must believe me, despite everything Uther did towards magic users Merlin would never do that to you. He couldn’t even fathom the idea of hurting you in that way.” He watched as the blonde contemplated his words.

“He’s lied to me for years Gaius, about everything. His magic…” He was about to go on a rant as this time the physician cut him short.

“Arthur he doesn’t just have magic. There are those who say he is the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth.” And Gaius was so unbelievably proud of the boy he couldn’t put it into words.

“Merlin?” Arthur questioned incredulously. He loved the man deeply, but greatest sorcerer to walk the earth seemed a bit much.

“If you’re to stand any chance of survival you’ll need Merlin to help you. Talk to him, let him help you.” Gaius knew there was nothing he could do other than perhaps ease his pain a little but he examined him anyway, at least that way he could help tell the sorcerer in question how to help.

“Gaius?” Merlin spun around as he heard the man approach. His nerves having settled a little as he saw to the horses.

“There’s a fragment of sword embedded in his chest.” The physician said simply.

“Well, we’ll use magic to draw it out.” Simple, Arthur would be saved and they could all return to Camelot.

“No.” Gaius said before the boy could get his hopes up anymore explaining what he must do. Once they had their plan Merlin made his way back over to the King to explain to him, hoping Gaius was right about Arthur changing his mind.

“Arthur.” He tried his best to hide the shake in his voice but it was no use, in fact it was only worsened when the man in question couldn’t even look at him, simply turning his head to acknowledge he’d heard something.

“We need to leave at first light.” His voice was soft, as though he were speaking to a stranger, not the man he’d know for a decade.

“I’ll decide.” The blonde replied, still not sure if he could even trust him, his heart aching with just the thought. Furiously Merlin blinked back his tears, totally lost as to what to do.

“I can’t let you die.” He admitted, his eyes red from his tears as Arthur finally looked up at him.

“It doesn’t change anything.” Arthur said resigned, looking away again, unable to see Merlin that way and simply closing his eyes to try and block it all out. He should be furious, perhaps it was a delayed reaction to Merlin having lied to him all those years about his magic combined with the fact he’d lied about using magic on his own father. Perhaps it was fear that he was dying or a combination of it all, either way he wasn’t ready to face Merlin yet and despite all of that the overwhelming feeling he had was to reach out and bundle the brunette up in his arms. To take all that pain written all over his face away and tell him it’s okay. Except it wasn’t, and for once he was going to take a moment to accept that.

“Let him sleep.” Gaius cut in, his own heart breaking seeing the pair so distant. He couldn’t stand the devastated look Merlin had and yet he knew they both had to work through it themselves. He couldn’t interfere and so he simply sat watching over Arthur and allowed for Merlin to have a moment away with his thoughts or rather, he realised, a moment away to completely break down.

Chapter Text

It was a strange feeling, using magic freely in front of Arthur. For years he’d been so stealthy, ensuring no one would suspect a thing, or if they did it was just dumb luck or that good old funny feeling he had. Now he’d thrown two fully grown men flying with the wave of his hands and all Arthur had said was about him lying. He couldn’t stand the silence that hung between them. Worst of all though he understood it. It had plagued his mind every day since they’d grown close, the lies, the deceit, the things he’d done to keep Arthur and Camelot safe and all the while the King had thought he was just a witless servant with a penchant for ale. When Arthur had first accepted him he hadn’t thought twice, too lost in happiness to wonder if it might come back to haunt him later and now here he was facing the fear that had run through his mind so many times before.

Arthur wasn’t faring much better from watching Merlin perform magic so openly. The first thing he’d seen him do was beautiful, he couldn’t deny it. The way the dragon sparkled from the embers of the fireplace, he was mesmerised. This was violent, it was horrifying and it was all so easy for him. He had defeated an entire army stood from afar and commanded a dragon all without taking a single step or swinging a sword. The power that Merlin held was unimaginable and should have Arthur quaking in his boots. But the thing that overwhelmed him more was the lies. What had Merlin done that he didn’t know about, how many times had he outright lied to his face without a second thought?

He watched as Merlin struggled to light their fire for the night, finally growing tired of the whole charade.

“Why don’t you use magic?” He slurred, not liking the way it came out and clearly having lost more strength than he had realised.

“Habit. I suppose.” Merlin admitted, thankful that the King was speaking to him even if the slur of his voice made his stomach turn in worry. Looking back at him he was shocked when Arthur gave him a nod and an almost kind look. Without a word he lit the fire, looking down at the flint in his hands nervously. “Feels strange.” He mused out loud this time.

“Yeah.” Arthur replied flatly, still unable to grasp the fact Merlin just lit a fire with his eyes… his eyes that had glowed a beautiful golden colour as he did so. “I thought I knew you.” He couldn’t stand the silence any longer. If he was going to die he wanted to at least talk it out with Merlin. When he’d discovered Merlins magic he’d simply brushed it off, having gone through what they did he didn’t want to argue or even think too deeply about everything that confession meant. But now it slapped him in the face and had no choice but to face it head on so with his final few days ahead of him he would get to the bottom of this. He would not die with Merlin being such a stranger to him. He couldn’t allow that, not whilst he had strength.

“I’m still the same person.” Merlin said after a long pause.

“I trusted you.” Was it truly in past tense? After all, he’d allowed Merlin to bring him this far unaccompanied.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin didn’t know what else to say. He’d already said it but perhaps that wasn’t enough.

“I’m sorry too.” He couldn’t avoid the fact that perhaps he could have done more to make Merlin feel as though he could tell him. But then he was a Pendragon, maybe there was nothing he could have ever done. As Merlin started removing his boots he watched in total confusion. “What are you doing?”

“They need drying.” Merlin said without a quiver to his voice for the first time in days. Arthur had apologised, for what he wasn’t sure but he was speaking to him and that was a glimpse of hope he would cling onto for dear life. He was acutely aware of the fact Arthur was watching him like a hawk. The King completely baffled by the man before him. He held such power and if he was evil, could strike him down now and no one would know. He could simply say to Gaius they didn’t make it in time and yet here he was removing his boots without a question so they could dry. Of course he could trust Merlin, it was ridiculous of him to think he couldn’t.

Both men slept better that night and Arthur woke to the smell of Merlins stew filling the clearing. As the man in question came over and knelt next to him his anger built again. He couldn’t help it. So many years of betrayal and deception was bubbling inside of him and unfortunately it was all coming out towards the one person he loved more than anything in the world. All his pain and fear being directed solely at poor Merlin.

“This will be good for you.” Merlin spoke softly offering a spoonful to Arthur. “You need to eat.” He added when the King didn’t move.

“Why are you doing this?” He blurted out, slightly more whiney than he would have liked. “Why are you… still behaving like a servant?” It was the closest they’d been in days and finally he allowed himself to look at Merlin properly.

“It’s my destiny.” Merlin began with a smile on his face, the anger finally starting to fade from Arthur as he remembered what the dragon said. “As it has been since the day we met.”

“I tried to take your head off with a mace.” Arthur smiled remembering that day fondly. The day his life had changed completely, and for the better. Everything he’d become, everything he’d achieved had been thanks to the man knelt next to him. Merlin had made him a better person, magic or not.

“And I stopped you, using magic.” Merlin smiled in return with a slight chuckle. Arthur tilted his head in amusement.

“You cheated.” How many times was this going to occur he thought happily, he wouldn’t mind hearing stories of Merlin using his magic for getting himself out of trouble this way.

“Yeah.” Merlin chuckled, his eyes creasing with his smile. “You were going to kill me.”

“I should have.” Arthur almost teased.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Merlin said suddenly serious again as Arthur huffed. “I do this because of who you are.” He spoke quietly, his eyes lighting up as Arthur looked back at him. “Without you, Camelots nothing.”

“There was a time when that was true. Not now. There are many who can fill the crown.” He said simply, it was just the way things were.

“Never be another like you Arthur.” Merlin breathed the two men finally looking at each other again, Arthur realising he really did know the man before him. Sorcerer or not, he was Merlin. Even so, after everything they’d been through the past day he didn’t know what to say so as Merlin returned to feeding him he simply let himself be moved. “Now I also do this because you’re my friend and I don’t want to loose you.” He heard his own words echoed back at him from all those months ago. At the time he’d brushed them off as a joke yet he was totally serious, how could he not be. Merlin meant everything to him and he was currently doing a stellar job at pushing him away.

The day brought about a more comfortable silence as they travelled. Arthur was too exhausted to really come up with much conversation and Merlin was worrying more than he ever had. They stopped for a moment, to give the horses a rest and for them both to eat and drink. After helping Arthur sit Merlin returned to get their water skins turning to see the King slump forward. Running over in panic he lifted the man up.

“Arthur you need to hold on.” Gently he manoeuvred him so he was leant on Merlins side. “One more day.” He reassured as they linked arms. “One more day.” The totally resigned look on Arthurs face once again made his stomach twist itself into knots but he continued anyway, wiping his brow tenderly.

“Why did you not tell me everything?” Arthur questioned looking at Merlin.

“I wanted to but…” He was having deja vu to their previous conversation. He truly did want to tell him everything.

“What?” Arthur questioned locking eyes with the brunette.

“How could I? After everything you’ve been through, after everyone that hurt you how could I be another one on that list? I only ever wanted to protect you. I only ever tried to help you and I was terrified you’d hate me.” He sighed, helping the blonde drink.

“All this time?” Arthur heard himself question. “You lived in fear all this time just to help me?” It sounded so stupid now he’d said it out loud.

“I love you Arthur.” Was now the correct time for him to say those words for the first time? Possibly not, but it covered all bases. “I’ve loved you for such a long time. It was a small price to pay knowing I was keeping you safe and happy and if that meant you being blissfully unaware then so be it. I’d rather that than you having to make the difficult choice of what to do with me.”

Arthur was stumped. His breath caught at the confession and he realised how close they were, his entire weight leaning on Merlin. Not only had he said the specific words but everything he’d said afterwards was the deepest sense of love he’d ever heard. The selflessness Merlin had shown, the fact he’d been willing to go through all of that for him was the most incredibly overwhelming thing he could think of and he didn’t care anymore. He couldn’t care anymore. He’d known he’d loved Merlin for so long and he didn’t want to spend any longer being mad at him. Slowly leaning forward he closed the gap and placed a gentle kiss on the brunettes lips, smiling at the small contented noise that escaped Merlin as he did so.

It was perhaps the sweetest kiss they’d ever shared. Both of them still reeling from the past days emotions, but neither of them wanting to dwell on it anymore. As they parted Merlin couldn’t hide the smile on his face.

“I love you Merlin.” Arthur stated, looking deep into those beautiful blue eyes before him that shone with tears as he finally said out loud what he’d held in for so long. “No more.” He added slowly. “No more hiding. No more doing this on your own.” If that was what gave him the strength to survive this then so be it. He wouldn’t allow Merlin to suffer by himself anymore.

Merlin didn’t share the same enthusiasm but he hid it, helping his love to the horses to continue the journey as a silent tear slid down his face. He’d finally heard the words he’d dreamt about for so long and he was going to loose that person if they didn’t hurry.

As their journey continued Arthur watched as Merlin repeatedly used magic with ease to keep them out of trouble. It was astounding, the man he’d thought was an idiot, a part he’d played so well was in fact skilled in so many things.

“All these years Merlin, you never once sought any credit.” He sighed, not wanting to think how many times Merlin had saved the day and then cheered on someone else who got the acclaim.

“It’s not why I do it.” Merlin said without any hesitation and Arthur didn’t realise it was possible but he was actually falling more in love with him by the second. When they were home he wanted to hear about every single time Merlin had saved them. He couldn’t change the past but he could certainly start to make up for it.

A little while on Merlin turned around to see Arthur completely slumped over his horse. Panicking he yelled out his name, jumping off his own horse to check on him.

“I can’t go on.” Arthur said simply. He wanted to, god he wanted to keep fighting but he was so tired.

“There’s not far to go.” Merlin tried to reason, hiding the total panic in his voice better than he’d expected. Now it was time to comfort and support Arthur, despite how hard it was to catch his breath at that moment. “We need to reach the lake before dawn.”

“No, Merlin. No.” Arthur shook his head.

“All right. We rest for an hour.” Merlin compromised not willing to give up. He even refused to rest properly, staying on his knee whilst Arthur drank, ready to go at the drop of a hat.

“Merlin.” Arthur started, ready to say his goodbyes. “Whatever happens…” What he didn’t expect was to be shushed by his own servant. The fact it was also the man he loved was beside the point.

“Don’t talk.” Merlin said, not ready to hear those goodbyes.

“I’m the King Merlin. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“I always have.” Merlin chuckled with his usual cheeky smile. “I’m not going to change now.”

“I don’t want you to change.” Arthur slurred taking in the man before him. “I want you to always be you.” It wasn’t quite as soaring and romantic as the speeches Merlin had made but the look in his eyes reassured him it had the effect he’d desired. Dropping his head he sighed. “I’m sorry about how I treated you.” He truly meant it and as the world started to swim his head slumped to the side. Merlin not missing a beat catching him and whispering with tears in his eyes but a smile on his face.

“Hey. Does that mean you’re gonna give me a day off?” He joked, happy when Arthur returned his smile.

“Two.”

“That’s generous.” Merlin chuckled his smile fading as the King slipped out of consciousness unable to do anything but cradle his face, resting his cheek against the blondes forehead with tears threatening to spill and praying with everything he had they made it to Avalon in time.

Chapter Text

How naive he’d been to think they’d get there in time. With Morgana scaring their horses away the pair collapsed in a clearing, Arthur loosing all his strength as their time finally ran out.

“Just… just…just hold me.” Arthur sighed, he could hear Merlin struggling to keep going but if these were his last moments all he wanted was to be held by the man he loved. “Please.” He added, happy when he heard Merlins frantic breathing start to calm down.

“Ther- There’s… there’s something I want to say.”

“You’re not going to say goodbye.” Merlin kept looking in the direction of the lake, he wasn’t letting go. He couldn’t. They would rest for a moment, Merlin would get his breath back and then they’d continue. They were so close. So. Damn. Close.

“No… Merlin.” Arthur shook his head looking up at his love. “Everything you’ve done. I know now.” It was taking everything he had to get his words out but he had to. He could feel his time coming to an end and he needed Merlin to know this. “For me. For Camelot. For the Kingdom you helped me build.” His voice broke as he finally spoke the realisation of just how much Merlin had done for him and how much he had taken him for granted. He wished he could live another thousand lifetimes to show the man beside him just how dear he was to him and make up for everything he’d done and even then that wouldn’t be enough. But that wasn’t possible and so he would have to make do with the next few moments instead.

“You’d have done it without me.” Merlin said, humble right until the very end, his entire body trembling as he held Arthur tightly. How had it taken them so long to get here? How had Arthur never realised the depth of Merlins care for him before? It wasn’t fair, he had so many things he wanted to discuss, to find out about this man and he hated how much Merlin was hurting. Struggling to draw breath he finally formed a response.

“Maybe.” Arthur chuckled. “I want to say something, I’ve never said to you before.” Moving himself so he was looking at Merlin better he took a moment to just take him in, his eyes glancing across the brunettes cheekbones, his lips, the way his hair rested softly against his forehead, before focusing on his favourite part, his eyes. “Thank you.” Reaching up he let his hand rest on the back of Merlins neck, pulling him down for one last kiss letting himself get lost in the feeling as his world turned black as his hand fell gently into his lap.

Moving back with shaking breaths Merlin whispered, “Arthur… hey.” This wasn’t happening, resting his hand on his cheek he tried not to hyperventilate. “No. Arthur.” He couldn’t loose him, shouting his name hope sprung in him for a moment as the Kings eyes flew open, looking up at him again. “Stay with me.” He begged, his smile fading as once again the blondes eyes shut and then he broke completely, calling Arthurs name as tears streamed down his face. As all hope left him he screamed to the sky for the great dragon, agony laced with every word as he clung to the man he loved unwilling and unable to let him go. He swore he felt his heart physically shatter as he held Arthur close to him for the journey, the numbness and shock of him dying settling over Merlin like a shroud. Tears silently flowing down his cheeks as he stared ahead not comprehending anything that was actually happening. It was simply too much for him to handle, the loss that he had dreaded happening for so long being the final straw for him.

As they reached the isle, Merlin lay Arthur gently at the shore of the lake and called out for the Sidhe, ready to do whatever it took to revive the man next to him.

“What is it you seek Emrys for it is too late for the young King now.” The Sidhe King almost teased, his words cutting through Merlin as though he’d been stabbed himself. If he hadn’t felt so defeated the statement would have angered him, yet he didn’t have the strength to fight.

“No, it can’t be. I will do anything you ask to bring him back.” He knew it was dangerous, willingly telling the Sidhe of all creatures that he was at their mercy but he didn’t care. Loosing Arthur was simply not an option.

“Anything?” He sang, having the greatest sorcerer of all time at his whim. “The Sidhe could ask a lot from you Emrys, after all, you’ve already taken a great deal from us.”

“I know.” Merlin admitted tearfully. “I know the hurt I’ve caused but I want to make it right. Arthur has accepted magic, we can bring about the Albion everyone had been dreaming about but I need him, Albion needs him to do that.” He was practically begging at this point.

“But you’ve already brought peace to the lands of Albion young warlock.” The Kings tone changed entirely to one of almost affection. “In killing the witch you’ve ushered in a new time for these lands. You do not need the Pendragon to do anything.”

“I do.” Merlin replied desperately looking down at Arthur. “Please. I can’t loose him.” He whispered, his voice breaking as he wondered if this was, in fact, a loosing battle.

“Very well.” The King spoke suddenly. Merlin almost giving himself whiplash with how quickly his head flew up to face the Sidhe. “But you must promise me one thing.”

“Anything.” He breathed, unable to contain his hope.

“You will ensure all of Albion accepts the old religion and not abandon it’s ways. You will usher in a new time where magical creatures are free to roam these lands and you will leave us alone until the time comes for you to pass through the gates of Avalon themselves. You must understand there will be no more favours from our kind after this.” The King could feel the entire magical world humming at the thought of this day finally arriving. Of the once and future king fulfilling his prophecy with the great Emrys at his side and for him to be the person to make it all happen. Well, the gods would favour their kind forever, they could request anything they wished for as if Avalon wasn’t powerful enough already, now the Sidhe would be even more revered.

“I promise.” Merlin replied without hesitation, avoiding noting that he was asking for more than one thing there and on top of that these were all apparently his destiny to fulfil that he’d known about for years. Despite that he vowed he would do everything in his power to keep the promise this time, especially as it seemed very beneficial for all involved.

As soon as the words left his mouth he watched as tendrils of water made their way towards Arthur wrapping around him like vines and pulling him upwards where glowing water rose from the lake to meet him. The water seemed to dance and swirl around him as though he were being drawn into the centre a whirlpool and for a horrible moment Merlin thought he’d been tricked as Arthur disappeared below the water. Suddenly a blinding white light shone from the middle of the lake, causing him to turn away, shielding his eyes as it illuminated the entire isle and beyond. Turning back his eyes adjusted as the lake returned to normal his heart sinking as there was no sign of Arthur anywhere. Gasping for breath he felt his legs buckle, ready to lash out at the Sidhe for deceiving him but then a hand burst from the water clutching Excalibur causing his jaw to drop and his legs to fully give way, crashing to his knees as relief washed over him. There he watched in total shock as Arthur walked out of the lake towards him, water cascading from him and not a scratch to be seen anywhere.

“Merlin?” Arthur questioned, a worried tone to his voice as he took in the man knelt on the ground looking totally broken before glancing down at his newly healed side.

“Arthur!” Merlin cried, both men breaking into a run and embracing each other tightly. Frenzied kisses being exchanged as they both realised it wasn’t the end for them, that they had days ahead of them to share together.

“Remember your promise Emrys. The entire magical world is depending on you.” The Sidhe King spoke as he flew away.

“Thank you!” Merlin shouted, not letting go of Arthur as they both watched the Sidhe disappear.

“What did you promise Merlin?” Arthur asked worried. He’d heard about the laws of magic and resurrecting a King surely came with a hefty price tag.

“To make sure magic was accepted in Camelot.” He smiled cheekily unable to contain his happiness.

“Merlin!” Arthur cried in his usual tone making the man in question almost start crying hysterically. He never thought he’d hear it again after all. “Bold of you to assume that would ever happen.” He spoke with a serious tone, barely holding it together as panic momentarily overcame the warlocks features. “Perhaps once I know a bit more about the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth I can come to a more educated decision.” He smiled pulling Merlin flush against him their lips crashing together once more. “Now let’s get home, we’ve got a Kingdom to run and many, many changes to make.” He offered Merlin his hand, not quite able to believe he’d just died. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the heartbroken look on Merlins face in those last few moments and he made a silent vow to do everything in his power to ensure he never saw it again.

“We?” Merlin questioned taking his hand.

“I mean what I said Merlin.” Arthurs tone was so serious it almost made Merlin a little breathless. “You helped me make this Kingdom what it is, you made me the man I am today. None of it would have been possible without you and I will spend every day from now on making sure you receive the thanks you should have been getting for the past decade. You mean more to me than I could possibly put into words, when you’re not around I feel as though a part of me is missing and as I was dying…” He didn’t miss Merlin flinching at his words but continued, giving his hands a squeeze to remind him he was in fact very much alive. All thanks to him, again. “I thought about how long it had taken for us to get here, to finally admit what we are to each other. I can’t promise it will be easy for us, but I can promise that I will make sure you know every moment how dear you are to me and how much I love you with all my heart.” Who knew, maybe he was good at romantic speeches after all.

Merlin swallowed hard, his mind reeling with everything that was just said. He couldn’t deny he thought some of what Arthur said was just a dying mans words to make him feel better and yet here he was not only repeating them but elaborating on them too. He didn’t dare get too happy though, the past few years had done it’s damage and he couldn’t quite believe that from here on out things would be okay. But for this moment, in this second, with his hands in Arthurs gazing into each others eyes and declarations of love still hanging from Arthurs lips he allowed himself to get lost in the joy for just a breath and as the smile spread across his face he saw it mirrored on Arthurs beautiful face.

“I love you with everything I am.” Merlin declared kissing him passionately and letting his mind focus on every touch, every breath, every sound that came from the blonde.

“Now come on.” Arthur smiled. “I can’t stand here all day soaked through, we need to make our way back to Camelot sooner or later.”

“Oh I can help with that.” Merlin smiled waving his hand, his eyes glowing that beautiful gold and immediately Arthur was dry.

“Maybe this whole magic thing will turn out to be more useful than I realised.” Arthur mused letting the warmth wash over him and blushing slightly at how much he enjoyed watching Merlins eyes turn that shade of gold. Merlin meanwhile burst out laughing as they walked. “What!?” He questioned incredulously.

“There’s been people trying to tell you that for years!” Merlin laughed.

“Well maybe I just needed the right person to show me.” The King replied kissing his cheek, actually excited for the days that lay ahead of them and the possibilities in store for everyone he loved.

Chapter Text

Gwen thought she might actually be going mad with worry. Percival and Gwaine had returned from their failed plan in terrible shape, it had taken days for Gwaine to recover and Merlin still hadn’t returned with any news. All they knew was the two men were heading to a place to try and heal a dying Arthur and Morgana knew their route. The fact that a week later neither of the men in question had returned made her unable to focus, simply staring out of the window twisting Arthurs ring around in circles hoping they would appear in the courtyard at any moment.

“M’Lady.” Leon spoke softly behind her. “You need to eat.” He prompted gesturing at the table that had been laid with her favourites.

“I’m not hungry Leon.” She spoke sadly, every day loosing hope that her two best friends would return.

“You should at least try to have something, you need your strength to run the Kingdom whilst we wait for Arthurs return.” The ever faithful Leon still held a shred of hope. He’d seen the two men fight their way out of so many seemingly impossible situations, he wanted to believe so badly they could fight their way out of this too.

“Yes, of course.” Gwen smiled sadly taking a seat. “Arthurs return.” She repeated quietly as the Knight sat with her. She had to admit even after a few berries she felt a little better and the pair fell into conversation as they had done every day whilst waiting for Arthur and Merlin. She appreciated the company, but more than anything she appreciated the ease of his companionship. After knowing each other for so many years she’d wondered why it had taken so long for them to get to know each other better. But then she figured it had something to do with being the most loyal knight in Camelot keeping him just a little busy.

As they finished their goblets a sudden commotion rang throughout the halls, Percival bursting through the doors breathlessly.

“Merlin!” He started trying to catch his breath. “The King! It’s the King!” He shouted with the biggest smile on his face. Leon and Gwen shot out of their seats exchanging hopeful glances before running out to the courtyard to see Arthur and Merlin walk under the archway together. A choked sob escaped from Gwen as she ran down the steps flinging herself into Arthurs arms, him catching her easily and holding her tight.

“You’re alive.” She cried, cupping his face in her hands.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He beamed kissing the top of her head as tears streamed down her face before turning to the brunette beside him as another sob came out.

“Merlin.” She felt very undignified, throwing her arms around Arthurs manservant as she cried hopelessly, Merlin not standing quite as strong as Arthur and staggering back, much to the amusement of the King. Gwen didn’t much care about her public weeping, for the past week she’d had every horrible thought run through her mind of loosing the two men she cared so dearly for. “I thought I’d lost you both.” She whispered clinging onto Merlin as though he may disappear again.

“I wouldn’t allow that to happen, you should have known that Gwen.” Merlin smiled kissing her cheek and glancing over at Arthur as he hugged Gwen with no intentions of letting her go anytime soon.

As Gwen and Merlin stood hugging Arthur turned to his knights, even receiving a hug from Leon himself which definitely threw him a little. He was usually so stoic and reserved, yet he appreciated this moment of affection, after all they’d been friends for such a long time now he honestly would have been a little offended if the Knight in question hadn’t worried about him. After greeting Leon came Percival then Gwaine hobbled over to them, Arthurs face dropping when he saw the state the knight was in, a smile forming quickly thought as he realised Gwaine was followed by a very annoyed Gaius who had told him to stay in bed. The older man dropped his annoyance the second his eyes landed on Merlin, pulling him into the tightest hug he’d ever given.

“My boy.” He cried holding him tight. “There aren’t words to say how proud of you I am.” His voice wobbled as he too was crying, in fact, it seemed everyone was very teary at their return and it was honestly overwhelming, even more so when Merlin nearly wept at Gaius’ words.

Then Merlin laid eyes on Gwaine and he was ready to kill whoever it was that had done this to him in the most painful way. Swallowing hard he pulled him into a tight hug as he struggled to hold back tears.

“Gwaine what on earth happened? Who did this?” The questions tumbled out as Gwaine leant his weight on the smaller man, much to the knights annoyance, he liked to think of himself as one of Merlins protectors after all.

“Had a run in with Morgana…” His usual light tone was gone, Merlin noted there was something very different behind his eyes but he couldn’t exactly place it. “Percival saved me though, got me back to Gaius just in time.” There is was again, his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes and it made Merlins stomach turn a little, if he hadn’t already killed Morgana he most definitely would now.

Gwen stood back, watching the whole scene and noting that Arthur and Merlins shoulders had started to slump. They’d clearly had a long journey and even if Arthur looked healed it didn’t mean he wasn’t exhausted. Fixing her posture she adopted the most Queenly tone she’d used yet.

“Sir Leon can you escort the King and Merlin to his chambers, they’ve had a long journey and need to rest. There will be time to speak later but for now they are not to be disturbed. Please inform the kitchens dinner will need to be delivered to his chambers immediately and to bring up water for baths. For ease of treatment both men will be staying in the Kings chambers, is that understood?” She also suspected that after their ordeal the two men wouldn’t want to be parted anytime soon.

The Knights stood to attention, bowing deeply and agreeing at once before hurrying off to their respective jobs. All except for Gwaine who was ushered back to his bed by Gaius chewing his ear off the entire time.

“It’s good to have you both back.” Leon smiled as he turned to leave the pair in Arthurs room. “Camelot hasn’t been the same.”

“Thank you Leon. It’s good to be back.” Arthur smiled watching his most loyal knight leave, letting out a huge sigh as the door closed.

Turning to face the bed Merlin took in the sight before him, one he honestly thought he’d never see again. Arthur stood in his armour with that small smile that always seemed to grace his lips when Merlin was around and a look that he’d never quite been able to place before, but now he knew was love shining from his beautiful blue eyes. It was a sight he’d seen countless times and yet over the past few months every time he stopped for just a second to take it in he’d had the overwhelming feeling it was all going to be ripped away from him. The relief that washed over him in that second was too much and he could no longer hold in the sob that choked from him. Covering his mouth quickly almost to try and hold it in. Arthurs face dropped as he ran over to the brunette, pulling him tightly into his arms.

“Oh Merlin.” He sighed sadly, unable to comprehend what the man in his arms had been through over the past few days. “It’s okay, it’s over now. You can rest.” Arthur soothed, his own tears starting to flow as he heard the broken cries of the man he loved so dearly.

“Sorry. I’m sorry…” Merlin whispered through his tears, struggling to catch his breath.

“For once you don’t need to apologise.” Arthur smiled into Merlins hair, placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Makes a change.” Merlin hiccuped returning the smile.

“That’s better.” Arthur breathed, still not letting go of him. “You need rest, I don’t remember the last time you ate and don’t think I haven’t noticed the fact you haven’t been sleeping either. You’re practically dead on your feet.”

“I’m fine, you’re the one…”

“I’m the one that you kept alive, that you cooked food for and fed, not taking a moment to have any for yourself. I’m the one that woke to find you still awake with a frown on your face despite the fact that peace has been achieved. I’m the one that had a fully cooked meal whilst you were off who knows where before the battle more than likely fighting in some way and not resting.” Arthur cut in before Merlin had the chance to argue. When he had no response he smiled smugly. “That’s what I thought. Now go change, I’ll ready the bath for us.”

“Pretty sure that’s my job.” Merlin quipped his brows knit together in confusion.

“Well that’s going to change now. Can’t have my most trusted advisor distracted with a servants job, we need to discuss a new role more suited to your strengths of which being a decent servant is not one.” Arthur teased pushing Merlin behind the screen.

“I was too busy saving you from every other person that apparently wanted you dead.” Merlin grumbled quietly pulling off his neckerchief and tunic not able to comprehend the rest of that sentence right now.

“And for that I am eternally grateful.” Arthur smiled, popping his head around the screen, his cheeks flaming red as his eyes glanced over Merlins chest causing the man in question to burst out laughing.

“Now do you understand how distracting my job could be and perhaps why I sometimes wasn’t the best at it?” Merlin crossed his arms with a smirk.

“Hmm, what? Yes.” Arthur blinked looking up at Merlin who simply laughed again. “What did you ask?” He swallowed, his mind running through a million situations that were entirely inappropriate when there would be servants arriving in his chambers at any moment.

“I asked if you understand now how distracting you could be whilst I was simply trying to do my job.” He repeated with a very smug look knowing the answer already.

“I suppose I can see how it might make things more difficult.” He admitted. “Seriously are you tensing? I swear last time you weren't this...” His eyes scanned over Merlins arms, down to the waistband and back up to his collarbone all the while getting very hot under his armour and Merlin flushing pink at the attention.

“Turns out carrying all your things makes you stronger after a while. Don’t think I’ll ever rival Percival though.” He chuckled actually tensing and basking in the look that overcame Arthur. He thought the man might actually faint, his eyes darkening as he looked back up at Merlin.

“I don’t think it would suit you.” Arthur spoke slowly, his voice low with lust as he finally reached out, letting his hands rest on Merlins biceps. “You’re perfect as you are.”

The sweetness took Merlin by surprise and his bravado disappeared completely, leaning forward to kiss the King, resting his chest against Arthurs for a split second before jumping back with a squeal. “Your armour is freezing! We need to get that off you now.” He laughed hugging himself.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He smiled, his voice still low as he stepped forward. “I was thinking this was one job you could keep.” He added, watching as Merlin began undoing the buckles, taking off the metal pieces one by one.

“Hmm, I think that could be beneficial for us both.” Merlin smiled, taking his sweet time and basking in their closeness. If this is what lay in store for them from now on he’d be more than happy to do whatever it was that Arthur asked, after all, he always had been anyway. That wasn’t going to change anytime soon and he didn’t want it to.

Chapter Text

“Merlin…” The warlocks breath caught hearing the great dragon call his name, looking up with tears in his eyes he struggled against the weight he was carrying. “There is nothing you can do.” Kilgharrah stated sadly.

“I failed?” Merlin questioned, unable to believe after fighting for so long it had all come crashing down around him anyway.

“No young warlock for all that you have dreamt of building has come to pass.” The dragon tried to comfort but as Merlin looked down at a deathly still Arthur in his arms he cried out in pain.

“I can’t loose him! He’s my friend!” He screamed, clinging onto Arthur as though he may slip away at any moment and as he gasped for breath to stop his sob his eyes flew open. His chest heaving as his eyes adjusted to the dark room around him. Patting his hand over the covers of the bed he realised it was just a nightmare. An excruciatingly real nightmare but one that had not come to pass. Wiping away the tears that had apparently fallen he looked over at a sleeping Arthur. Watching intently for the rise and fall of his chest, listening to the small sounds he made and the comfort of his breathing. He was alive, he hadn’t lost him.

Allowing himself to calm a little he pulled his knees to his chest and let his head fall forward, not looking away from the blonde for a second, a deep fear stirring inside him that he couldn’t get rid of. He didn’t think he had the strength to watch Arthur die again. That had been the main reason he hadn’t slept since that day. Every time he closed his eyes for too long the image of Arthur cold and still came to mind and he hated it. Deep down Merlin knew that it was over, for now at least, of course there was bound to be something else come along but it would be different. There was no Morgana to worry about and Arthur knew about his magic now so he didn’t have to conceal himself all the time. But that didn’t rid him of the memories, of those excruciating few hours where he was holding Arthurs dead body in his arms praying with everything he had that it could be fixed and he wasn’t sure that he would ever be rid of those images. No matter how many times he convinced himself everything was fine now.

And so he sat like that for a while, focusing on getting his own breathing to match the Kings slow and relaxed tempo. Anything to keep his mind off those thoughts, yet after a while his mind started running rampant again and so carefully he swung his legs out of bed, starting on his chores for the day. The sun had only just started to rise so he could make his way around the castle in complete silence before anyone else woke. It was so strange to think a week ago he’d been living through the unimaginable and now here he was back to normal, whatever that was because it didn’t feel normal anymore. It all felt strange and as though he was watching everything through a screen and as more and more servants started to wake and greet him as he went about his business he felt overwhelmed. They were beyond kind, so happy to see him back and safe and all congratulating him on bringing the King back alive and well but they missed the darkness behind his eyes whenever they mentioned his good deed. They missed the flinch at the thought of what the two men had gone through that no one else knew about, not even Gaius knew the extent of their journey. So that was how he ended up back in Arthurs chambers, meticulously re-folding all of Arthurs clothes in silence completely lost to his thoughts.

——

Something felt off to Arthur, he was warm and for the first time in a while nothing ached as he moved position. Snuggling his face into the soft pillow he realised he was home, more than that he was home and well and getting to share the rest of his life with the man he loved. A smile spread across his face as he opened his eyes realising the bed next to him was empty. Inhaling deeply with a stretch he sat up to look for Merlin, his eyes glanced across his now spotless room, over to the table where his breakfast for the day sat ready and waiting for him and finally landing on Merlin himself who seemed frozen in place by the table. His hands rested on a pair of his trousers and he was staring slightly ahead, tears silently running down his cheeks.

“Merlin?” Arthur questioned his brows knitting together in worry. When he received no answer he stood, walking over to his love and gently placing his hand on Merlins making him jump out of his skin. “Hey.” He smiled softly, happy when Merlin relaxed immediately quickly wiping away his tears.

“Morning sleepy head.” Merlin smiled, although it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“What is it?” Arthur questioned noting that Merlin looked even paler, the dark circles under his eyes almost looking like bruises at this point.

“Hmm? Oh nothing, couldn’t sleep. Not used to the softness of your bed.” He shrugged not quite meeting Arthurs eyes. The King sighed, pulling him into a tight hug unable to stop the smile when Merlin nestled his face into the crook of his neck without hesitation.

“Merlin talk to me, please. If we’re to rule this kingdom together I need you to trust me now. No more having to do this alone all right? If something is on your mind you can share it with me, perhaps I can help.” He suggested, rubbing softly circles on the warlocks back.

“I’m not sure anyone can help.” Merlin whispered, sounding so small and making Arthur want to bundle him up from the world.

“Let’s have some breakfast and try, how does that sound?” When Merlin nodded he smiled, sitting down at the table and picking at some berries. “Why couldn’t you sleep?” He started, watching as Merlin looked at the floor. “Whatever it is, I can handle it Merlin. Think of everything we’ve been through together, everything we’ve overcome. You don’t have to hide whatever it is that’s plaguing you to protect me anymore.” He hoped that might remove some of whatever was holding Merlin back.

“Every time I fall asleep I see you… dead.” His voice broke as he thought of the image again. “And I know it’s silly, you’re here, you’re alive.” Merlin motioned at the man in front of him. “But that doesn’t seem to matter as soon as I’m asleep.”

Merlin watched as Arthur seemed to think, his mouth moving as if to say something then stopping whilst he formulated what to say, all the while he worried that Arthur would simply start laughing at him and tell him to get over it.

“Merlin… after you were injured I was so worried about you all the time.” Arthur admitted, his voice quiet and sincere. “Even though I knew you were all right, you were healed and you always had a pulse. You hadn’t stopped breathing and yet it still haunted me.” He paused, leaning forward to take Merlins hands. “What you went through… I know you won’t talk about it, perhaps you may never talk about it and that’s okay because I can’t imagine how I would have reacted if it were the other way around. I was prepared to die, I said my goodbyes to you and you watched the whole thing. I don’t know how long I was gone for either and for you to endure all of that…” He took a deep breath not being able to comprehend what that must have been like. “For you to still be haunted by those things isn’t surprising. At all.” He added for emphasis. “But you don’t have to suffer alone, let me be there to comfort you. I want to be there.”

“It was only a few hours.” Merlin whispered, not realising what he’d said. Arthur held onto his hands tightly, allowing him to speak and pause whenever needed. “After you’d said…” No he couldn’t think of Arthurs last words to him, it was too much. “I called for the dragon. He took us to the lake and I…” He closed his eyes remembering the helplessness, the complete shock that had overtaken him and as his breathing started to grow shallow a small squeeze of his hand brought him out of it. Opening his eyes he took in the supportive look on Arthurs face and gave him a small smile. “I held you as we travelled the final stretch. Honestly I had given up then, I didn’t think there would be anyway to get you back but I knew I had to try. Once we arrived at the lake I called out to the Sidhe to make a deal, and I didn’t think it would happen, after all I haven’t always been the kindest to them but that’s a story for another time.” He almost chuckled, already feeling the weight lift from him a little.

“It most certainly is.” Arthur smiled, happy to see the light back in Merlins eyes.

“So much has happened. I’ve sacrificed so much and lost so many people I guess it feels like this is going to be ripped away from me at any moment. There was no life given for yours, no huge price that had to be paid, at least, not one that I haven’t been working towards for the past ten years anyway. Maybe the magical world decided I finally needed a break, I don’t know? Either way I can’t shake this feeling of dread.”

Arthur thought about Merlins words and immediately wanted to question him on everything he’d gone through and then subsequently make every single person that ever hurt him pay in the worst way. But now wasn’t the time, now Merlin needed comfort and he was happy to provide it.

“I’m not surprised, you knew about the idea of me dying for a long time. I don’t know how long exactly but you’ve lived with that every day I don’t think anyone expects you to just carry on as normal after only a week of respite.” He smiled, in awe of the man before him trying so hard to continue as if everything was fine.

“I just don’t understand how you’re so calm!” Merlin exclaimed helplessly, wishing he could be the same.

“Merlin.” Arthur placed a kiss on the back of his hand knowing what he was about to say wouldn’t be the easiest to hear. “I had accepted my fate. From the moment Mordred wounded me I knew I was going to die and I was okay with that. I figured I was bound to die in battle at some point. You on the other hand clearly had not accepted it. I have a second chance now because of you, so let me give you a second chance too.” Arthur noted how Merlin clung to him as he spoke, still not accepting that idea let alone the actual reality.

“Thank you.” Merlin whispered, loosening his grip a little.

“Promise me you’ll talk to me from now on, no matter how small or insignificant you think it may be. If it’s bothering you, talk to me.” Arthur gazed into Merlins eyes, happy when he received a nod of agreement. “Now.” He leant back a plan forming in his mind. “Gwen has everything under control, I’m sure she won’t mind running things for another day or two whilst we fully recover from our ordeal. In the meantime you and I are going for a picnic by the river. We can take some of the Knights with us if you’ll feel more at ease or it can just be the two of us. The decision is yours entirely.”

“I love you.” Merlin sighed happily, his thoughts coming out as he gazed at the blonde, still wrapping his head around the fact him and Arthur were a couple now.

“I love you too.” Arthur beamed, pulling the brunette close and kissing him softly.

“Just the two of us.” Merlin decided, resting his forehead on Arthurs. “I want to talk with Gwen about how we proceed before informing the Knights about us. After all, she deserves that from us.”

“Of course.” It had been the two of them for the week now, it had honestly slipped his mind that not everyone knew about them. It just seemed so natural at this point. “This is why I want to appoint you a new position, turns out you’re not so much of an idiot sometimes.” The blonde teased, excited for a relaxing day just him and Merlin.

“I have my wise moments.” Merlin chuckled with his lopsided grin and clinging to this moment of pure happiness. He’d been told he’d ushered in a time of peace and for once he was going to enjoy that feeling, he was going to go for a picnic with his love, they were going to enjoy these days of rest and relaxation and then the work would start. At least this time the work wouldn’t be life threatening and for the first time he felt excited at what might lie in store for them both.

Chapter Text

The pomp and circumstance felt like a little much for Merlin but Arthur had insisted. He’d even suggested the hat he’d worn all those years ago but as soon as Merlin saw those blasted feathers he’d shut it down before the King could get too many ideas, after all, he wasn’t a servant anymore so why should he wear the traditional Camelot servants attire? If there was ever a time for Merlin to pull rank, it was that moment. In the end they’d settled on a lush deep purple cape, Arthur had always liked Merlin in purple, combining it with a matching quilted jacket, black tunic and much to Arthurs surprise and joy, no neckerchief. Of course he loved to see Merlin in his usual attire, but this was different, this was a hugely special event and as Merlin made his way up the aisle, through the crowds of people Arthur swore he’d never looked more beautiful.

Kneeling before the King Merlin suddenly felt very self conscious, his hands shaking as he looked up into the wonderful blue eyes that winked back with reassurance. He wasn’t sure why he’d become so nervous, everyone in Camelot knew him, they even seemed to like him… most of the time, when he wasn't causing trouble. Perhaps it was because he was a commoner, he’d come from nothing and was now being gifted with this, that he felt unworthy, that people wouldn’t accept his new position within the royal household. But as Arthur had reminded him a million times Lancelot too came from nothing and became one of the most loved Knights. The Queen herself was once a servant and was now the most beloved Queen Camelot had ever seen. It didn’t matter where he came from, what mattered was who he was.

“Do you Merlin Pendragon swear to uphold the laws of Camelot, to protect its people and always work for the good of the Kingdom?” Arthurs voice bellowed throughout the hall.

“I solemnly swear.” Merlin smiled, his voice not quite as powerful, but still steady and sure.

“Then by the power vested in me I pronounce you Sir Merlin, Lord of Camelot and Royal Advisor to the King.” Tears of pride shone in Arthurs eyes as he looked at the warlock, tapping excalibur onto each shoulder gently. “Rise, Sir Merlin of Camelot.” He exclaimed proudly as the entire room erupted into applause, complete with a few whoops of joy from his now fellow Knights. It was such a surreal feeling, all those years secretly advising the King from afar, standing back at every meeting and now he would be sat openly on the right hand side of the King. If he was totally honest, he didn’t want the titles but Arthur and Gwen had insisted. This way he would be respected by the court, he would have his own income, chambers and even servants. It would establish him and as far as anyone else was concerned, his future family.

Of course the few that had been told knew those last few things didn’t really matter at all. The couple had told a few of their most trusted friends, of course Gwaine, Percival and Leon all figured it out anyway but were overjoyed at the fact they’d finally made it official. Gwaine had proceeded to tease them both for a while but grew bored when he realised just how in love they were and therefore weren’t retaliating to any of his comments. And so he’d switched over to actually threatening Arthur, stating that if he ever hurt Merlin he would kill him. Of course everyone pointed out that was treason to even threaten the King but both men laughed it off. Arthur even going as far to say if he ever hurt Merlin he would give Gwaine permission to hurt him, something the knight took great pleasure in hearing.

Gaius knew, he knew everything anyway and had thought them to be in love from the very beginning but naturally decided it wasn't his business to intervene. When Merlin incredulously asked why on earth he hadn't acted on his suspicions he simply said love always finds a way and then that he was very busy with lots of things to be getting on with now he'd lost his dogsbody. Otherwise they had decided to keep it a secret. The people loved Gwen as their Queen and as much as they’d been accepting to the changes in laws against magic the couple thought it was perhaps a bit much to then announce the King preferred men too. As far as the masses were concerned Arthur and Gwen were happily married and he still had a ridiculously close relationship with his former servant who, turns out, saved Camelot from ruin. It made it so much easier that they didn’t have to hide their little looks to each other, or their whispers as that had been their relationship before anyway, no one batted an eyelid when Merlin emerged from Arthurs chambers first thing in the morning or didn’t leave for multiple nights in a row as that was normal and it worked in their favour completely.

As for Gwen having her own chambers that too seemed normal, especially as the Queen began to grow her court, it simply made sense for her to have her own wing in which she would entertain her ladies in waiting and if a certain first Knight of Camelot was assigned to be her guard then no one would question him being around her more than usual. Once again it just made sense to have the Kings most trusted Knight and oldest friend look after his beloved Queen. Some may say it was destined to all work out…

The feast that evening was thrown in Merlins honour and was quite possibly one of the greatest Camelot had ever seen. Arthurs closest friends of course were all in attendance and enjoying this new freedom together. Allies from surrounding Kingdoms had been invited to celebrate the new age of peace and to thank the man responsible for it all. It was now very much legend how the servant Merlin had gone above and beyond his station, not only killing the witch Morgana, which honestly, made Arthur, Gwen and Merlin squirm a little when it was celebrated. After all, they had all loved her dearly, even after she’d descended into evil during her final years they still clung to the hope she might change and return to them. It was safe to say none of them celebrated her death in anyway. According to the masses he’d also single handedly defeated the Saxons, something Merlin very much disputed as the men of Camelot had fought bravely in that war and so it was changed to him being a saviour, of which he liked even less. He'd spent years having the druids practically worship him, now it seemed most everyone did and he really didn't know how to handle it. Finally the people celebrated the fact he had saved their King by being the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth… again, something that wasn’t quite true but it was impossible to try and set the record straight at this point. Merlin hated the attention, he had been quite happy working being the scenes and yet this only spurred on the people to love him even more. Not only was he a legend, he was also kind and humble.

Everyone around him found it hilarious, Gwaine in particular had taken to calling him Merlin the Great and Powerful amongst many other nicknames that made him laugh harder than they should have as they weren't even funny and the only reason he got away with any of it was because Merlin adored the man. Arthur also loved every second of it, happy that his beloved was finally getting the praise he deserved, after so many years standing in the shadows he was happy to see him in the light. Even if the man in question wasn’t so happy about it.

Despite that Merlin happily spoke to anyone and everyone at the feast. These were people he’d known for years and he could feel nothing but relief at the fact they at least still treated him the same. Despite his new titles, despite the fact they knew about his magic they still saw him as just Merlin and it made his heart swell with more happiness than he knew was possible.

“How come he called you Merlin Pendragon?” Princess Mithian questioned. “I knew you two were close but I didn’t think you’d secretly elope!” She laughed, hoping Merlin would tell her they actually had and that’s why Arthur had turned her down all those years ago. It really wouldn’t surprise her.

“But if we did secretly elope no one would know now.” He winked with a laugh. “No I’ve always been Merlin, son of Hunith and whilst I love my mother dearly it didn’t have the royal flair Arthur was looking for. So he gifted me his name as a brothers in arms sort of gesture.” The perfect cover up, he mused, when in fact they had secretly eloped weeks ago. Gaius had led the whole thing joined by Gwen and the Knights. They had exchanged rings next to the river they’d had their first picnic as a couple and it was perfect in every way.

“Oh… that was very kind of him.” She smiled, disappointed at the lack of gossip. “I’m happy he’s finally seen your worth, you were always more than a servant to him.”

“I’m just happy I could help in some way.” Merlin shrugged, really not use to all this praise.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Arthur appeared behind Merlin with a smile. “I must steal my advisor for some speeches.” Both royals started to chuckle as Merlin pulled a distraught face, the look of someone who very much did not want to sit through any sort of speech, let alone ones about him.

“Good luck.” Mithian giggled as Merlin was quite literally dragged away, mouthing 'save me' at her.

——

“Remind me again why I agreed to let you and Gwen organise that whole ordeal?” Merlin questioned as they finally returned to Arthur chambers much later that night, collapsing backwards very ungracefully on the bed.

“Because you love me?” Arthur smiled, grabbing Merlins arms to pull him into a seated position and leaning down so their faces were level.

“Hmm must be.” He mused quietly, returning the smile and kissing him softly. “I’m never doing that again though.” He added pulling off his cloak.

“I should hope not.” Arthur laughed, removing his own cloak and starting on his armour, which of course Merlin stood to help him with. “That would mean you saving the day again and we can’t be having that. Give one of the other Knights a chance this time.” He chuckled, unbuttoning Merlins jacket as the brunette continued with Arthurs chainmail.

“It’s not my fault they’re all stupid.” He teased, his lopsided grin coming out in full force.

“I’m a Knight.” Arthur laughed, remembering one of their old conversations.

“You’re my king too, that rules you out.” Merlin stated, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Ahh good to know you’ve changed your opinion.” The blonde beamed as they moved in unison, almost as though they were dancing with how used to each others movements they’d grown.

“Oh it took me a long time… a very, very long time.” He chuckled removing Arthurs tunic and receiving a very unamused look as the material revealed the blondes face.

“Remind me again why I made you a Knight?” Arthur pursed his lips as he tried to hold back a smile.

“Because you love me?” Merlin repeated, pulling the King close.

“Yes I do Merlin Pendragon and I will for the rest of eternity.” Arthur spoke seriously, kissing Merlin with all the passion he could muster, gaining a content moan from the brunette.

“For the rest of eternity.” Merlin repeated, for the first time allowing himself to be consumed by the happiness surrounding him. They had finally fulfilled their destiny and they’d done it together, now all that was left for them to do was live their lives madly in love with each other for the rest of eternity.