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Pretty Positive My Pain Isn't Cool Enough

Summary:

Willow wants nothing more to play flyer derby, but there are many obstacles in her way she must overcome to accept herself as the full witch she is.

Prompts for Willow Week on tumblr!

Notes:

Day 1: Palisman

Willow is unsure about trying something she's wanted to do for a long time, but luckily she has a companion to help her through her insecurities

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: I'm in a Winter Mood, Dreaming of Spring Now (Palisman)

Chapter Text

The ink of the paper was nearly rubbed off by Willow’s thumb running over it. She had been so sure of this when she created copies at the library, but the longer she stared, the more uncertainty gnawed away at her. The witch on the cover beamed proudly as they flew on their staff, holding a flag proudly while shooting a grin missing a front tooth.


Willow imagined herself in that witch’s place, wondering what the buzz of victory would feel like. Her brief bout of grudgby gave her a taste of adrenaline, new ways she could flex her magic that could at times be unwieldy. What she was told was useless as a child could be a greater asset to flex. 


But was she capable of wielding that power? She thought back to her deepest wish she proclaimed at palisman adoption day.


‘I want to be strong and wise to protect everyone I love. And if anyone gets in my way, they’ll feel the sting of defeat.’


Could she even deliver the sting of anything?


Soft fuzz suddenly cradled her cheek, peeling her eyes away from the flyer. None other than Clover, her palisman, nuzzled against her with a grounding touch.


“Aw, what’s wrong, you want attention?” Willow cooed as she scratched the nook behind her head, bringing about a happy buzz. Clover then flitted down to the paper sitting on the floor, poking at it with her antennae. “Oh, that? It’s a poster for flyer derby. I’m thinking of starting a club at school, but…I don’t know.” Clover tilted her head curiously.


“Well, I never really did sports before, but I did grudgby once, and I actually really liked it. Well, I didn’t like having to face, you-know-who,” Willow emphasized in air quotes, rolling her eyes slightly. “But there was something fun about getting your hands dirty, working together with your friends; I liked it! And my dads told me about their flyer derby team when they were kids, so I thought I could make my own.” She smiled to herself, thinking of the fond memories of her first flyer derby match she attended with her parents. The memory soon soured, though, and she wilted. “But I don’t know, what if I’m just not cut out for this? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping all this on you.”


Clover hovered towards Willow, holding the flyer in her legs as if urging her to take it. “You think I can do this?” The bee chirped happily, nudging her wielder. The fuzz around her neck tickled her, and she giggled until the pressure nearly took her backwards. 


“Okay, okay!” Willow chuckled, giving Clover another scratch. “Thanks, Clover, I really needed that.” She gave the flyer another once-over, and suddenly imagining herself as the player on the cover didn’t seem so out of place. “Maybe I will give it a shot.”


Another happy purr filled the air, and Clover swirled to the photos tacked on the mirror. She hovered over to a news article from decades ago: her dads’ flyer derby team winning the championship.


“You wanna know how they told me about this?” Willow asked, and Clover landed on her head with an affirmative buzz. “Alright, let me tell you a story.”

Chapter 2: In Another Life You were the Sunshine of my Lifetime (Childhood/Father-Daughter)

Summary:

Day 2: Childhood/Father-Daughter

Willow goes to her first flyer derby match with her dads and best friend at 7 years old, but things can never be truly perfect for her.

Notes:

Triggers: small implication of emotional abuse towards the end

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“And there goes one more point for the Ghouls!” the announcer’s declaration was nearly drowned out by the rallying cries of the audience. Little Willow was no exception, bouncing on her tip toes to peer over the railing of the bleachers along with her best friend, Amity. The ferocious yet graceful arcs of the athletes on their staffs reflected off Willow’s glasses like shooting stars. Papa was cheering loudly, while Dad came back with snacks.


“Dad! Did you see that?” Willow was excitedly pointing at the two witches who brushed past each other vertically in the air. “That was so cool!”


“I did!” Dad smiled proudly. “I actually did a couple of those flips when I was in my flyer derby prime myself!”


“And who was the one that healed you every time you fell off your staff?”


“You did, my dear,” Dad sighed in fake exasperation.


“You’re lucky I knew healing spells at the time,” Papa admonished him. “I practically kept everyone from falling off their staffs before the Ghouls grew into what they are now.”


“I know, my dear.” Dad gave reached over to give Papa a peck on the cheek, and his protective cover melted under the affection.


“Bleh, cooties! Your parents kiss?!” Amity squawked, nearly spitting her hex mix.


“All the time! They like showing off being in love,” Willow whispered back mischievously. “Don’t yours?”


“Well, no. Mom says it’s not proper.” Amity rolled her eyes; while she was always very diligent at home, a tiny rebellious streak always peaked through whenever she and Willow were together. She narrowed her eyes at the arena. “I’m so confused, where’s the ball?”


“There is no ball in flyer derby,” Papa explained kindly. “They have to capture the other teams flags on top of the ends of their staffs.”


“Maybe we could show some tricks?” Dad suggested.


“Really?!” Willow leapt to her feet and began tugging both of her dads’ sleeves. “Can you teach me to play? Can you can you please?!”


“Alright, alright,” Papa conceded, putting hands on Willow shoulders so she’d settle down. “I promise we’ll teach you to play, but ONLY when you’re old enough to have your own staff.”


“Pinkie promise?” Willow held out her tiny finger with a stare, meant to be serious but coming out pouty.


Her protective Papa couldn’t help but smile as he returned the gesture. “Pinkie promise.”


“Look!” Dad stood up from his seat and pointed towards the arena.

There was only one player left on each team, each of them ebbing and flowing around one another like oil against water. The opposing team’s remaining player reached to grab the flag and the Ghoul narrowly dodged it, only to slip and tumble off their staff. A collective gasp echoed amongst the crowd, watching them plummet to the ground. Just as the player was about to hit the earth, their staff glided back underneath their feet, and they were able to sweep upwards and snag the remaining flag before flying towards the top of the tower and hanging it victoriously.


“And the winner is the Ghouls!” Cheers flooded the crowd, banners and food flying everywhere.


“Yes! They won they won they won!” Willow cheered as she hooked arms with Amity, the two of them giggling as they skipped in tandem down the steps.


“I can’t believe they won again!” Amity gasped.


“I know! They’re the coolest witches ever!” Willow quickly agreed. “I can’t wait to be on a flyer derby team of my own. You should play with me once I do!”


“Yeah! Nothing can hold us back!” The two girls whooped and hollered as the continued their happy gait out the stadium doors, the Park parents not too far behind.


“What do you think, Harvey?” Dad linked his arms with Papa. “Should we show the girls some more flyer derby moves?”


Papa sighed, the way he always did when he caved. “Maybe just a little, but first we’d have to get permission from-”


Amity stopped in the middle of her tracks, Willow nearly tumbling over where their arms were linked. When Willow stopped enough to catch her footing, she followed Amity’s gaze, which suddenly turned stony.


The lady with a tight green bun towered over the two of them, her icy blue eyes making her shadow feel extra cold to stand in.


“Odalia,” her Papa answered. “We were just about to drop Amity off.”


“About time. I was getting concerned,” Amity’s mom said cooly. There was always something about her that unsettled Willow; Amity claimed she wanted to be like her parents, but Willow couldn’t recall either of them smiling the same way her friend did so freely when they were together. “She should be at home studying.”


“But mom!” Amity protested. “You said I could go out today! It’s a weekend!” 


“That’s no excuse to be slacking off, dear,” her mom answered, eerily saccharine.


“Listen, I know you’re concerned about her grades, but she’s only 7,” Willow’s Dad interjected kindly. Mrs. Blight held tight to a purple gem on her necklace, and Amity flinched slightly. “If you want, the girls could study together at our house-”


“It’s fine! I mean, I should be going anyway,” Amity quickly interrupted, then flushed red. Her glance at Willow was apologetic. “I’ll see you next week in school?”


“Yeah! Goodbye, Amity!” Willow reached in for a large hug, but Amity only weakly returned it this time. She then quickly retreated to her mom’s side, and the two got swept up into the crowd without another word.


“Dad, Papa,” Willow muttered, clenching her skirt between her hands. “Did I do something wrong?”


“What? No!” Dad was quick to kneel to Willow’s level. “Willow, you did nothing wrong.”


“Then why did Amity leave so fast? She looked sad.” Dad looked up to Papa in a pleading way, and he sighed and joined them on the ground.


“Sometimes, people get upset, and you think it’s because of you, but the truth is it’s not,” Papa explained. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be kind or understanding of them. Never forget that, okay baby?” 


Considering this after a moment, Willow nodded, chin still close to her chest. Papa pinched her cheek lightly. “That’s my girl.” 


Dad put a hand on her shoulder. “Now, we had a good day, why don’t we finish it getting iced scream?”


Willow’s eyes lit up, former despondence vanquished. “Really?”


“Yup! Come on.” Papa hoisted Willow up to sit on his shoulders. While she sat above his head, she imagined what it would be like to fly in the air like those flyer derby players, wild and confident and free.

Notes:

I liked writing little Willow and Amity alot more than I thought I would; there's something very bittersweet about the two of them (also if u want more angst imagine this scene happening shortly before Amity's birthday where shit went down :3). also i wanted to elaborate Willow's relationship with her dads and how they introduced her to flyer derby

Chapter 3: Life is Just a Game...Maybe

Summary:

Day 3: Flyer Derby

Willow plays her first flyer derby game at Hexide, and things seem to go smoothly until a new player reveals a secret.

Notes:

this is mainly a more detailed version of 'Any Sport in a Storm' from Willow's perspective; I tried to keep it short but I loved doing the team banter in the beginning. Also this may or may not serve as practice writing sports action scenes for future stuff shhhhh

Enjoy!

Chapter Text


The most important part of flyer derby is putting on a game face, and that includes the literal sense. As Willow applied green facepaint to her teammates and herself, she felt any insecurity she felt about this team melt away. The verdant pigment served as armor against any previous self-doubts as a witch.


“Hold still!” Gus scolded Caleb as he applied the paint over his closed eyes.

“I am!” Caleb complained.

“No you’re not! You keep blinking!”

“Well I wouldn’t blink so much if you didn’t take so long!”

Willow smiled to herself; it was nice seeing Gus get along with her new friends. His tendency to be wary of new people always put him on edge, so it was good seeing him relax. Despite the bickering, Caleb also seemed to warm up to him as well.

“Gus, why don’t I finish Caleb’s face paint while you get the jerseys?” Caleb immediately shot his eyes open and hunched over. “Is that okay, Caleb?”

“Oh! Yeah, go ahead,” he said shyly. He was able to hold still a bit better, much to Gus’ chagrin. Maybe Caleb was more comfortable with her since she was the captain, or maybe Willow just had a steadier hand.


“Willow, this is really cool!” Skara said as she finished strapping on her kneepads. “How did you find out about this?”


“Well, my dads actually used to play when they were young,” Willow reminisced as she painted a zig-zag down Caleb’s face. “They played for the Ghouls, which eventually became a bigger travel team across the Isles.”


“That’s awesome!” Viney admired.


“Yeah! Willow told me all about them,” Gus piped in proudly as he passed out the team shirts. The two had met many a time when Willow mentioned wanting to start a Hexide team, and they practiced different plays together when they could. “It’s how I figured out how to staff surf.”


“These strats are so different from grudgby, it’s almost more intense,” Skara commented as she scrolled through popular team strategies on her Penstagram. “It was really fun playing grudgby with you that one time, and…I can’t wait to get to play with you again.”


She gave a sheepish smile, and Willow couldn’t help but return the expression. While Skara was apart of Boscha’s crew for a while, she distanced herself further and further from that group as the year went on, and basically dropped her after the grudgby match with Luz and Amity. It became clear that she no longer wanted to be a bully, just like Willow no longer wanted to be a wallflower. And who was Willow to deny her that grace?


“What about you, Viney?” Gus asked. “What made you wanna join?”


“Well, being in the detention track for so long put me back for a bit. They wouldn’t even let me do extracurriculars, so I wanted to catch up on that stuff.” Viney shrugged away any leftover bitterness on those feelings.


The memory of Willow accidentally insulting the detention track kids while trying to bust out Luz made her internally cringe. It was hard for her to wrap her head around studying multiple tracks for a while, especially since she couldn’t study the type of magic she was good at for the longest time. Then again, after they saved Hexide from the basilisk, Willow recognized she needed to re-examine some biases of her own.


“And we’re done!” She put the finishing touches on Caleb’s makeup, holding a small compact mirror in front of his face. “What do you think?”


A gloved hand traced next to the stripe going down his face. His face shifted from doubt to elation. “It’s amazing!” He exclaimed, then blinked as if he forgot something. “I’m gonna make a call real quick. Be right back!” Caleb scampered away to make his contact.


“That Caleb guy has insane flying moves,” Skara commented. “It’s almost like he’s a professional.”


“He’s a really good flyer,” Viney agreed. “He outflew Puddles!”


“Well, I guess it’s a good thing he stepped on his tail,” Willow joked.


“Let’s just hope he doesn’t do it in game.” Gus scratched his chin, and then everyone was giggling. Watching all her new teammates quickly bond, Willow forgot why she was nervous in the first place.


Soon enough, they were all lined up against Professor Homunculu’s class, full of his top abomination students. Two rows of five witches each faced each other, staffs floating and rearing to go.


“All we gotta do is fly high and snag some flags,” Willow instructed, shifting into leader mode. Everyone nodded in suit, fully trusting and ready to play. This was it. All the preparation and planning and practicing, and she finally was going to show what she was worth.


Professor Homonculus wore an arrogant sneer. “Let’s see what you can do…captain.”


The high screech of a whistle blew, and the teacher immediately shot abomination goo towards Willow. She braced herself for the impact, but Viney quickly swept in to shield her without missing a beat.


The players took off in all different directions. It was definitely different playing flyer derby versus watching from the sidelines. Each play amplified when they happened only several feet away from her. She wanted to appreciate the plays of her teammates, such as Caleb and Gus working together, but it was difficult when flying full speed in the air trying to avoid getting knocked down.


However, Willow knew when duty called.


Skara got blasted out of the arena, and Viney smacked headfirst into Jerbo, so she and Gus pummeled over to the other players. More abomination blasts were shot Willow’s way, but she swiftly weaved through them left and right.


“Get her! She’s right there!” Professor Homunculus scolded. Too distracted by his pettiness, a golden flash zapped near his flank.


“Boo!” Caleb whispered playfully before teleporting behind him to snag his flag. Willow felt herself chuckle internally; serves him right! Her focus quickly returned to the game as the blasts increased.


Inhaling deeply, she rose to her feet to staff surf the way Gus taught her once. Her legs trembled slightly from the unfamiliar maneuver, but adrenaline kept the movement steady. Magic coursed through her as she summoned thick roots to the surface, rocketing towards the opposing team. The players gasped and braced for impact, and Willow used the chance to fake them out and use the plants to snag their flags. The roots sank back into the Earth, dropping the flags into Willow’s hands. She rose to her full height and grinned, surfing through the air as the wind blew threw her pigtails.


THWACK! A force knocked Willow’s staff from under her feet, sending it spinning and her falling. Her heart thumped wildly in her ears, and her eyes darted to find a solution.


Caleb reached his hands out towards her. She knew he couldn’t catch her, so she reached out and pushed the flags into his hands before plummeting below. Keeping her wits about her, she drew a spell circle and was able to bloom a large flower for her to land safely in.


Now all she could do was watch. 


Caleb stared at the flags in his hands, and Gus propelled him before getting knocked out of the way. He circled the flag post, dropping each flag on it’s run until he reached the top. Five flags blew proudly in the wind.


Caleb made a graceful landing to the ground before Viney drenched him with a barrel of energy drink. The team cheered swarmed around him, cheering in victory. Victory that Willow helped bring!


An abomination carried over a sullen Professor Homonculus, pouting behind a clipboard. “May I please have your team name?”


“Shoot!” Willow put a finger on her chin. “We never thought of a name.”


“The-Emerald Entrails!” Caleb blurted. Willow stared at him, shocked that he was so forthright. He hunched over, rubbing his hands together. “You know, because we’re green and…there’s more to us than you think?” A timid smile crossed his lips, and there was something charming about his new humility when he looked at Willow.
The other teammates must have been just as enamored with the name, because they started to chant, “Entrails! Entrails!”


She pulled out her scroll. “Entrails team photo! We’re number one!” With a quick flash, the scroll captured everyone smiling. 


“I can’t believe I almost bailed on you guys. Today was amazing!” Caleb admitted, rubbing his shoulder. “Thanks for giving me another shot.”


“Always nice making a new friend,” Viney said before shooting a glare at Jerbo. “I had an opening for one.”


“We wouldn’t have gotten here without you,” Willow said, because it was true. Even after only meeting Caleb for a day, she felt they worked together naturally as if it were muscle memory. She was happy she had a team full of people who trusted and supported her, and that she could support them back as well.


“Yeah, I shouldn’t have been so suspicious.” Gus shook his head with a smile, his cautiousness now rubbed away. Maybe this was a sign of good things to come.


“We can forget all about that when we play next time,” Caleb blinked, and then a manic smile crossed his face. “As a part of the Emperor’s Coven!”



“Did you really think you could get away with endangering a coven head?” Darius, head of the abomination coven, glowered as he rose from the flames of the wrecked ship. Why was it always abomination users that gave Willow problems? “Do you have any idea what I’m capable of?” His arm transformed into a blade, ready to strike. 


Willow shot a row of vines towards him, which he sliced through easily. She summoned a thick wall of plant mass to protect her teammates, which was chopped through within a second. She may have failed at being a captain, she may have misjudged Caleb-or the Golden Guard, apparently-but she wasn’t going to let that get in the way of keeping everyone safe. The abomination blade rose, and she planted her body in front of everyone, ready to take the hit.


“Wait!” There was the Golden Guard, standing between Darius and Willow.


“Out of my way, little prince,” Darius growled. 


“No! I was mistaken. These four are insolent agitators, who aren’t fit for the Emperor’s Coven. And I am unfit to wear the sigil of the Golden Guard.” He removed his cloak, dropping it onto the sand. He turned to face Willow. “You can go.”


Willow gripped her staff defensively, tears welling up in her eyes. He lied to them, imprisoned them, insulted them in front of a coven leader, and now he was hoping to get back into her good graces?


“Please, captain.” The Golden Guard-or Hunter, his real name-dropped his voice, and Willow noticed something in his eyes soften. Something that said, you need to get out.


She lowered her staff. “Let’s move team. We need to find a replacement.” Willow walked away, allowing a sly grin to tug at her lips. “After all, it will be 52 weeks before Caleb’s next day off.” And she and the Entrails walked away. Sand crunched beneath their feet, and for a while waves lapping the shore were the only conversation.


“Willow…are you sure about letting him off the hook?” Gus asked, clapping his hands in front of him.


“I mean, he did save us,” Viney pointed out.


“From a coven head, no less,” Skara agreed. “He could get in trouble for that.”


“The Emerald Entrails were more than just a team. Are more than just a team.” Willow looked fondly at Viney and Skara. “It’s a place where people can be more than what they’re expected to be.” Her gaze softened at Gus, fiercely protective even when he didn’t need to be. “Shouldn’t we extend that same courtesy to him?”


A complicated looked crossed Gus’ features, brow scrunching in frustration until he let out a yelp. “Okay, fine! But he’s still on thin ice for me.”


“That’s fine,”  Willow chuckled, wrapping an arm around her friend as he relented a smile.


DING! Willow felt the tone of her scroll, and pulled it out to see the Penstagram notification. 


RULERSREACHF4N has requested to follow you.


A picture of Hunter making a kissy face with a peace sign was on her feed.


“Did he just make an account?” Viney asked, peering over Willow’s shoulder.


Three dots were loading for what seemed like ages. “He is a slow typer,” Willow giggled, showing Gus and Skara.


“He’s worse than my dad,” Gus agreed. Willow smiled at the photo, at what happened, and what could possibly be. 


She clicked follow.

Chapter 4: I Used to be a Real Go-Getter, I Used to Think it all Gets Better (On-Screen Moment)

Summary:

Day 4: Favorite On-Screen Moment

Willow thinks it can't get any worse before an old enemy rubs salt in the wound.

Notes:

tw: bullying, self loathing, brief blood metaphors

the scene where Willow stands up to Boscha is my favorite, but it felt too short so I extended it with her mental breakdown scene.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Willow thought she heard Hunter shouting something, but she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to care. Anger seethed throughout her, and the fact that she even felt angry at all fed back into the existing feeling. It wasn’t directed at her friends, though; they didn’t do anything wrong. They were going through so much more than she was; she should’ve been the anchor in the storm, but instead felt herself sinking. All of this was on her, if she had she been a little been stronger, a little more thoughtful and cautious, and wasn’t such a-


“Trouble with your team, captain half-a-witch?” Oh no, not this. Willow stopped in her tracks, not giving Boscha the courtesy of a second glance. Still, Boscha continued to speak. “Leading isn’t easy, is it? All your time is spent helping the team, keeping people from fighting, planning your next move, and Titan forbid you show any weakness…everyone else falls apart.”


“Not now, Boscha.”


“If you want my advice-”


It was that moment something inside Willow snapped; a branch of an old tree plummeting to the ground because it wasn’t growing properly.

“Advice? From you?” Willow turned to face her, Boscha’s smirk adding more fuel to the fire. “You have been nothing but petty and mean to me since I met you. What? You want me to give up? You want me to admit how stressed I am?” Cracks rippled through Willow’s voice as well as the linoleum of the school hallway, thorny vines sprouting from the ground as she felt the buzz of glow around her eyes pulse through the front of her skull. “What advice could you possibly give me?!”


Frustrating enough, Boscha’s sneer only grew. “Actually, I was gonna advise you to watch your back.” She pulled a mask over her face, and Willow froze to realize a shadow hovered over her, a sickly sweet smell filling her nostrils. “You never know when your opponent is gonna strike.”


And before she could fully process her mistake, Willow felt her vision go black.



When consciousness returned, Willow felt cool earth beneath her fingertips. She blinked her eyes open to be met with nothing but the darkness of a cave, the vast space making her feel smaller. Pounding rung in her head, as if someone was chanting half-a-witch, half-a-witch, half-a-witch.


What a fool she was. She let herself get tricked because she dared to let her emotions get the better of her. How could she do this to her friends? They needed the reliable one and she cracked under the pressure. 


“Willow?” The call of her name startled her, and she felt vines spurt out of the ground defensively. Plants sometimes responded to her magic energy without her even drawing a spell circle, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle.


…Right?


“Agh!” A cry snapped Willow out of her self deprecating stupor, and she realized her entire lower waist was wrapped in vines, slowly reaching the ends of the cave. But that wasn’t nearly as alarming as one of them dangling Gus midair.


“Gus!” She croaked out, but remembered she needed to be calm. She forced the corners of her mouth upward, the burning behind her eyes increasing her headache. “Gus, it’s okay! I’ll get you down in no time.”


A pair of footsteps trodded against the floor, and Willow forced down her surprise. She turned to find Hunter staring at her in wide-eyed horror. Hunter, who only had high regard for her and never saw her when she was weak. At least, not until now. Titan, why did it have to be now?


“Oh! Hunter!” She plastered a smile to her face as she tore a stem off her arm. “I had a little run in with Boscha and got stuck down here. Gus just-surprised me!”


“What’s going on?” Hunter rushed over. Willow turned her attention back to Gus so Hunter wouldn’t look at her glowing eyes.


“Don’t worry! I have it all under control.” She made a small spell circle to will away the vines.


“I don’t think it’s working!” Gus yelled before he was stifled by the plant matter, groaning in fear.


“I can do this. I can do this,” Willow began to whisper to herself, tearing away at the vines. “I can do this. I can do this!” Each affirmation became louder, as if the volume would make it come true. 


The plants seemed to think otherwise, though. As Willow turned, she found herself in a cage of green, a snake pit of vines writhing on the ground coming from around her waist in a twisted skirt. Neither of her friends were anywhere to be seen.


“Hello?” She barely said above a whisper, and then the panic set in. “Gus? Hunter?”


The only response she got was a pained, muffled scream.


“Gus!” She frantically tore down the vine, drawing another spell circle. “I can do this, I can do this! AH!” Two particularly thorny stems violently shot out, nearly piercing her.


“I can do this, I can do this,” her voice dropped to a whimper, movements to tear down her prison slowing down. Her dark fingernail polish chipped under the plant matter, chloryphyll brutally staining her hands an incriminating green. With Hunter and Gus lost among her magic, they may as well have been covered in blood.


“I can’t do this,” she admitted in defeat, letting the plants overpower her. How could her friends need her when all she did was hurt them? “I can’t control my own magic, I can’t help my friends. Ugh, why have I been trying to be someone different? Boscha’s right.” Rough thorns brushed against her skin, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. “I’ll always just be Half-a-Witch Willow.” Her vision went dark, and she willingly let herself be suffocated by her own misery.


“HYA!” A burst of energy was pushing Willow through the vines, tearing them down and sending her flying. Though the pressure didn’t leave her; a pair of arms cradled her as she sailed through the air and onto the ground. Blinking her eyes open, a loose strand of blond hair was shaking back and forth.


“You didn’t make anything worse, you didn’t do anything wrong!” Hunter was crying now, a pleading sadness cracking his voice. “You guys mean the world to me, and I-I didn’t know how to say that yet. Just please, don’t call yourself that ever again.” He calmed down for a brief moment to look directly at her. The glow of her eyes were scorching suns, but Hunter wasn’t afraid to be burned. “You’ve been holding in a lot, haven’t you?”


“Willow!” A voice echoed, in the cavern-Gus’ voice. He managed to wriggle out of his cocoon for a moment, giving a reassuring smile. “Reliable people need someone to rely on, too.” Soon, he was swallowed by the plants once more, only a hand sticking out to give a thumbs up. “Just let it out, we’ll be fine!”


Willow sniffled, and finally belted out what she was afraid to admit since the Day of Unity. “I miss my dads!” She refused to admit it the whole time because it felt childish, but it was true. She missed how her Dad would give her encouragement and sunshine when she was feeling insecure, or how her Papa would wrap his arms around her like a blanket whenever things got too much. Ugly tears poured down her face, but she didn’t care; she wanted her dads to tell her she was okay. 


The crying felt so loud it drowned out any other noise. Thunder rung in her ears, and it felt like her skull would split in half. Her world was crumbling, and she couldn’t deny it was hard to see the bright side. She wasn’t okay.


But then she was falling. She skidded down a hill, and the orange Isle sunset brightened her vision. A vague headache lingered, but she no longer felt the pulsing energy of when her powers went haywire. She took several deep breaths, and heard two other gasps beside her; Gus on her right, Hunter on her left.


Her friends were okay.


She was okay.

Notes:

alternate titles for this chapter bc GOD these lyrics are so FTF Willow:

-The Stars are the Same as Ever, I Don't Have the Guts to Keep it Together
-I'm Creased and I'm About to Break Down the Middle
-I'm Burning Myself Down

Chapter 5: I Need the Sound of Crowds or I Can't Fall Asleep at Night

Summary:

Day 5: Growth/Friendships

Sometimes admitting you need people is the biggest sign of growth

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

No one tells you that even good things can be exhausting. 


Entering her senior year at Hexide, Willow was on track to entering the senior division of flyer derby after graduation while also organizing the junior league to be active. Not only was she following her dream, she was making it more accessible to others.

However, leading isn’t easy. 


Despite it being the off season for flyer derby, Willow seemed to be even more busy with the organizational aspect, from planning out the team’s travel schedule across the isles to making sure there was enough funds for the junior league to compete. Not to mention she was still training and attending expos that teach different training and playing techniques. Flyer derby was still pretty sparse in school’s, so Willow was essentially creating the blueprint herself.


Willow fell face first on her bed, groaning in exhaustion. Spiked kneepads dug into the flesh of her bed, but she didn’t have the energy to care. All she was focused on was getting a good night’s rest.


Loud bells tingled from her crystal ball. Groaning, she rolled over and haphazardly slapped it on.


“Willow! It’s good to see you,” Gus waved excitedly.


“Gus, how are you?” Willow welcomed, a little less fatigued. Between taking more specialized magic classes, Willow organizing the new flyer derby league, and Gus working as a teaching assistant at the University of Wild Magic, they seldom got to see each other anymore. 


“I’m doing great! How’s the flyer derby league coming together?”


“Oh, it’s coming,” Willow chuckled tiredly. 

“Great! I can’t wait to see you at the fundraiser tonight!”


Willow tilted her head. “Fundraiser?” Slowly, it dawned on her what he was talking about. The junior flyer derby leagues were coming together for an event to help funding for travel teams, and she was supposed to speak on behalf of the Entrails. “Oh, right! The one I was supposed to speak at!”


“Yeah, it’s gonna be great! Everyone will see how hard you’ve worked,” Gus said encouragingly, eyes twinkling behind his glasses. “You’re like, the new face of flyer derby!”


“Haha, yup! That’s me, the responsible, hardworking leader,” she squeaked in an uncertain voice.


“Well, I can’t wait to see you!”


“Yup, you too!” Willow forced a wink and tried to sit up, but found she couldn’t. Looking down, she saw vines sprung up from the floor boards and wrapped around her legs. Her predicament was out of the crystal ball’s field of vision. Clover fluttered over, giving a concerned look.


Willow took a breath. “Gus, wait!”

He looked back up. “What’s up?”

“I, um…” Willow bunched her sheets up in a fist. “I-I’m actually not up for going out tonight.”“Okay.” Willow blinked in surprise. “Willow, that’s totally fine, we can always do a rain check.”


“I know, I know, it’s just doing all this work has been a lot, and we don’t get a lot of chances to see each other, especially in the off season, and…” She practically sunk into the bed. “I just miss you guys.”


The only sound in the room was the faint buzz of the crystal ball.


“Do you want me to come over?”


“Are you sure? You were looking forward to going to this thing tonight, and I had a speech to make.”


“I was looking forward to it because it meant I got to see you. I’ll figure out a way to cover for you.” Gus gave her a smile. “I’ll swing by and we’ll talk, okay?”


Biting back a protest, Willow swallowed as a thorn sunk into her calf. “Yeah, okay.”


“Okay, I’ll see you,” Gus gave her finger guns. “Bye!”


“Bye.” She shut the crystal ball off and sagged in relief. The vines slithered away and retreated back into the ground. Willow sunk deeper on the bed and closed her eyes.



Soft fuzz pressed against Willow’s cheek. Groaning, she blinked her eyes open to find Clover nudging her. 


“Cloves, what’s up?” she murmured, stretching into an upright sitting position. Several bones in her back cracked. Pushing herself up on her knees, she looked at her clock.


7:30.


The ceremony started at 7.


“Shoot!” Willow yelped as she tumbled out of bed, jumping to remove her knee and elbow pads. She grabbed a pair of clean clothes and yanked the door open.


“Willow!”


“Agh!” A vine shot out in front of Willow as she startled, staring at her visitors.


Gus and Hunter stood in the doorway, her dads standing not too far behind them. They formed a gap around where the vine punched into the wall.


“You have guests!” her Dad said cheerfully. 


“And don’t say we have to go out, because I already have a back-up,” Gus pointed out, gingerly pushing the plant aside. “Skara and Viney are going, and let’s just say Matty’s illusion magic has been getting stronger.”


“We also asked if Luz, Amity and Vee wanna stop by later,” Hunter scratched the back of his head. While he grew out of his gangly frame, there was still some awkwardness that made him endearing. “That is, if you want them to.”


“We’ll leave you to it,” Papa said as he and Dad closed the door behind them. Both Hunter and Gus’ expressions softened.


“I’m sorry you had to see this.” Willow hastily began to draw a spell circle to retreat the vine back into it’s plant pot, but Hunter gently blocked her hand with his wrist.


“You don’t have to apologize,” he said. “I’d rather see than make you hide it.”


“I-I just…” Willow lowered her hand, taking a seat on her bed. Years taught her that being vulnerable didn’t equate to weakness, but it still felt impossible at times. “I wasn’t trying to make you all worried.”


“You worry about us all the time. You’ve been working your butt off to get our team really rolling!” Gus said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder. Emmiline circled his own shoulder, and Waffles escaped Hunter’s apron to scoop her up. They launched themselves towards Clover, where all three of them nuzzled together. “We all missed you, too.”


“I-I don’t know what to say,” Willow gasped.


“You don’t have to say anything,” Hunter assured her, taking a seat on her left as Gus sat on her right. “I know it’s not easy to talk about your feelings and…I’m glad you didn’t push us away.”


A flood of emotions pulsed through Willow, and she grasped both her friends into a hug. Gus readily returned the gesture while it took Hunter a few seconds to adjust. Pink flowers bloomed out of the overgrown vine, floating towards the ceiling.


A couple knocks hit the door. “Willow, baby? You have some people who want to see you.” Her Papa said.


“Oh!” Willow sat up. “Yeah, they can come in.” The door swung open, and Willow gasped. 


Luz, Amity, Vee, Skara, and Viney stood in the doorway. All of them were smiling and holding various items.


“Hello!” Luz greeted with a wide smile.


“Guys!” Willow gasped and rushed over to give everyone a hug. “But the event tonight-”


“Actually, the speech part of the fundraiser ended early,” Amity said. “So, we thought we’d stop by and check in!”


“We brought snacks!” Vee held up the arsenal of treats.


“I brought a bunch of strategic board games!” Skara said cheerily.


“I brought Puddles in case you need a temporary therapy animal.” Viney patted her Gryffon on the head, who was surprisingly docile. 


“Guys, you didn’t have to do all this.” Willow's headband nearly slid off her head, so she pulled it all the way off to smooth her thick, ruffled locks. “I feel so bad, I’m such a mess right now.”


“We don’t care if you’re a mess, we care about you,” Viney said as she and Puddles sat cross-legged on the floor.


“You might be our captain, but you’re still our friend, too,” Skara reminded her, setting the games down.


“You guys.” Willow began to get choked up, shaking her head.


“Aww, come here,” Luz reached out for a tight squeeze. “Even if you’re not feeling 100%, you’re always full-witch Willow to me.” 


“Thank you. Thank you, everyone.” She sniffled a little, though she wasn’t sad. “Come on, let’s see what we got!” Everyone congregated in a circle on the floor to get their little party set up.


“Also, I hope it’s not a bad time. But outside training to carve palismen, I’ve been practicing my sewing and, well…” Reaching into one of the big pockets of his work apron, handing Willow a piece of folded, golden cloth. “Darius says hi, by the way.”


Unfurling the cloth, Willow nearly dropped it. It was a yellow tank top with two adjacent E’s dripping green. On the back was the number 13 beneath the word ‘captain.’


“Do you…like it?” He asked shyly.


“I love it!” She squealed, a burst of petals exploding behind her. She froze a minute, flustered at first before bursting into giggles. She pulled the shirt over her current athletic top. “It goes great with the orange, too!” 


“This should be our new uniform!” Gus said.


“We’ll have to get some photos at your first game for the scrapbook!” Vee added in. The chatter increased, the laughs and conversation making a pleasant hum. Willow swayed a little, leaning on Hunter’s shoulder and closing her eyes. Petals continued to snow in the room, dusting it in a peaceful glow. It may have taken years, but Willow felt like she had it all.

Notes:

And today was the final Willow week day! Thank you so much for anyone who read this, it was a lot of fun playing with these different characters and dynamics, however brief they were. Also I stuck Luz and Vee at the end bc i felt bad i couldn't fit them elsewhere in this fic so i put them here.

Have a good weekend!

Notes:

Want to say thank you to @ agrebel18 on tumblr for hosting Willow Week! Check out her blog and also the tag for Willow Week 2023 to see what everyone else has been up to!

I'm still not used to tagging Owl House fics so forgive me if i missed any tags; if there's any trigger tags i'll specify before each chapter! It was fun flexing a different writing muscle for such an interesting character. Also the title of the fic and chapters are lyrics from the song So Much (For) Stardust by Fall Out Boy bc apparently I'm 14 again.

Enjoy!