Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A horrible, throbbing sensation is what Todd becomes aware of first. It's all over his body, as if he's been hit by a train. Just the act of opening his eyes is a struggle, even moving a finger hurts. Urgh... what the hell? 

What happened? 

Unfortunately, his brain is coming up short. All thoughts and memories refusing to join up, leaving nothing but a pile of disjointed nonsense. 

He manages to move a hand, scraping it along a gritty surface. Rocks...? That's not a good sign. There's something under his head that's distinctly not rock, though. Too soft. 

Open your damn eyes.  

It takes effort, but they blink open. His vision can barely focus- not that there's much to focus on. It's just dark, looming shapes. 

With a wince, he pushes himself onto his elbows. Even that hurts. Shit, his head is pounding. 

A worn, yellow jacket has been draped over him. And a make-shift pillow formed from a folded-up button-down under his head. 

Well, that means something. He blinks again, trying to shift the dark spots in his vision. 

And, by a yawning mouth blocked by a rockfall, though shrouded with darkness, is the familiar figure of Dirk Gently. Standing, with his hands on his hips, and wearing far less jacket and button-down than usual. Todd calls out for him, cringing at how hoarse he sounds. But, regardless, Dirk turns, relief on his face palpable. 

"Oh my god, Todd!" He staggers over, near dragging his right leg, dropping heavily next to him. "I was so worried!" 

"What... happened?" It hurts to talk. 

Dirk wets his lips. "Things went a tad bit... topsy-turvy, but I am working on fixing it. It's going w- ... Well, it's going. Which is something." 

"And... where are we?" 

"A dark, gaping pit of death and despair, I think." 

"You really like, need to work on your optimism." 

Dirk just shrugs, or at least attempts to, it's cut off with him biting back a groan. In the poor light, Todd can see the blood and bruising along his face and arms. 

He touches his own face, feeling obvious injuries and drying blood around his nose. Groaning as he feels along his jaw- the pain red-hot. His hands are covered in grazes, too. Christ... 

Why are they both-? 

Ah. It comes flooding back. 

The current case. It's been a troubling one. 

Most of the time, cases last for a few days. The more complex ones can be a week tops. Todd likes them, though. He rolls with the madness, thrives off the danger, as if he's always meant to be here. It's good, it's fun, despite the whole nearly getting killed thing. It's one of the reasons why he likes them. That exhilarating thrill. 

This case, however, is a little more agitating. Really fucking frustrating, actually. 

It's been pushing three weeks of little to no improvements. Aliens are Todd's personal theory- those yachtsmen are clearly not from Earth. Beings from a different dimension is the back-up theory. The agency trio were all getting irritable from the nowhere strides they're making- even Todd, ever the optimist, was climbing the walls from lack of anything happening. 

Then, something did happen. An impromptu hunch, that had Dirk scrambling for the outside before dawn. Thankfully, they're roommates, so Todd went with him. God knows what would've happened if Todd didn't go. An equally bad scenario. Probably way worse, in hindsight.

Still, they made it at the crack of dawn at some abandoned cliff area and predictably the potential-alien-yachtsmen were there doing... not good things. And things got- also predictably- fucked. A confrontation, an explosion. The ground begining to crack underneath them. Splitting apart with a horrible rumble.  

This has gone so fucking wrong.  

That's Todd's last thought before he plummets into the chasm below, Dirk reaching for him, as they fall. 

Now more awake, Todd takes in his surrondings. Rock and darkness. There's a gap at the top of the rockfall- a pathetic, little flitter of sunlight. A thought needles its way into his brain. 

"How long have we been down here?" 

"A few hours maybe? I don't know how long either of us were out." 

That makes another awful, little thought worm into Todd's brain. He pulls out his phone- it survived just about, terribly cracked screen, though. No signal. That awful thought flares up. 

"Dirk, does anyone know we're here?" 

"Well, I mean-" Dirk pauses, eyes refusing settle on Todd, looking past him. "Well, those yachtsmen do... although I think some are busy being crushed right now. Surely Farah will consider this place as a potential location! We did come here for case-reasons before!" He ends with injecting a sickening sweetness to his voice. Anger swells in Todd's gut. 

"Yeah, at the literal start- that was literally weeks ago! Where you seemed convinced it was pointless, meaningless and 'utter bollocks of the Universe to drag us to this irrelevant cave!'" 

Dirk deflates. "Okay, first of all, your impersonation of me needs some serious work. Secondly, it's still a place we went to- and sometimes the meaningless becomes the meaningful later on. Farah's smart- she'll piece it together lickety-split!" 

Now, Todd is never going to doubt Farah's abilities, but he has a sinking feeling they may be here for a while. With an uneasy breath, he braces himself to stand up. 

"Whoa, whoa!" Dirk's hands are hovering. "What are you doing?" 

"Investigating." Todd replies, drily. Now on his feet- he can safely conclude he does not feel amazing. If nothing's broke, or fractured, then there's at least some nasty bruises littering his body, no doubt. 

He limps to the rockfall, Dirk tailing like a shadow. Completely blocked, aside from the very top- and it'll be a tight squeeze, even for his small frame. Whilst Todd is adventurous, and cases tend to lean towards a lot of physical activity, he knows he's not climbing that, anyway- especially with the injuries. 

"It's a pile of rocks." Dirk says, slowly. "I was staring at them for a while and they went unchanged the entire time." 

"Shut up. Goddammit... this is bad. Like, really fucked." He mutters. "This was stupid of us." 

Becoming aware of the aches, Todd groans, leaning against the rocks. Now standing, it really highlights how shit he feels. His body isn't what it used to be. Especially for dealing with this shit.

"Are you okay?" Dirk examines his face, worry drenching his features.  

He jerks away from the contact. "Feel a little dizzy, it's nothing." 

"Are you concussed? Is this a concussion? Do you feel concuss-y?" 

"No. Stop- please stop saying things like that, what the fuck, Dirk. I'm not concussed- trust me, I'll know." 

"How?" 

"Stage dive attempt went wrong." 

Dirk pulls a face before shivering. Todd raises a brow. 

"Put your damn jacket back on." 

"But, you're just in a t-shirt- you didn't bring a jacket at all!" He protests. 

"You're just in a vest, and you get whiny when you're cold." 

Dirk huffs, but relents. He limps towards his jacket, with a poor attempt at holding back a pained moan. Shifting his weight around. 

"Are... shit, are you okay?" Shitty friend of the year- that should've been the first thing he asked! Stress makes him especially asshole-y. 

"Uncomfortable..." He struggles on the jacket with another whine. 

"Let me see." 

Using his phone, he gets a clearer look at Dirk's body. Blood speckling all over, bruises even more apparent with the lighting. Much more horrifyingly, there's an obvious dark stain on his right thigh. His jeans are torn and there's a deep, nasty gash. Fresh blood glistening against the phone light. 

"Holy fuck, Dirk! Your leg!" 

"It's not that bad..." 

Are you serious?  

Todd shakes himself. "Yes, it is. Where's my bag...?" 

"Bag?" 

"Dude, I know I bought the case-bag with me." 

The case bag- otherwise known as the Dirk-got-an-impromtu-hunch-at-fuckall-o'clock-so-it's-for-those-emergencies-bag, contains a few things that Todd deems 'could be useful, in case'. Some water bottles, food. Some first-aid supplies and a pocketknife. That sort of thing.  

Illuminating the cave, Todd's eyes fall onto the rucksack on the ground. It survived the descent it seems. Unopened, too. Trust Dirk to be seriously injured and doing nothing about it. 

"Dirk, did you not think to check the bag at all?" 

"I was a little preoccupied, Todd." He sniffs. 

With what, exactly?  

Todd rolls his eyes, flipping the bag open. The contents are... not ideal. Two water bottles, both two-thirds full and a couple of protein bars. There are some painkillers, which is something. He forgot to replenish the first-aid supplies- they get used frequently on cases, so they are painfully limited when a case is finished. There aren't any bandages or dressings, just a couple of band-aids and an instant ice-pack that really aren't going to cut it. There isn't any antiseptic. 

Trying to keep his nerves under lock and key, he spies the button-down. Better than nothing. 

"Keep still." He tells Dirk, as he fishes out the pocket-knife. 

Dirk, to his credit, does so. Until he realises what Todd's doing. 

"Todd?" He squeaks out, trying hard not to flinch on instinct, as Todd slices away the denim around the gash. It's difficult, but he can't just leave a wound like that. 

"We have like, zero bandages and that wound looks deep. So," he examines the button-down, trying to find parts that don't have grime or blood on it, uncertain with how to go about this. "We're going to make do. Last thing we want is an infection." 

It's a bit of trial and error- Todd dismissively apologising for irritating the wound- before the makeshift bandage is wrapped snugly over it. Todd ignores that it's already starting to darken from blood. It's something for a, hopefully, temporary situation. 

"Thanks." Dirk says, uneasily. He sits next to Todd, with a wince. 

Todd examines the bag.  

"Wish we thought to bring the air-gun, we could've blasted the rocks down. Get out of here."

"Right."

"If we're good," he continues, ignoring the moodiness. "We can ration this out for a couple of days. At least the water. Food, maybe a little less so." 

No reply.  

Todd checks his phone. It's midday and the battery is at 84%. That's good. Still no signal. 

"How'd you wanna pass the time?" 

"Mmm..." 

Todd nudges him. "You good?" 

"I'm fine." Is the haughty response. 

Todd sighs yet again, but doesn’t push. He's probably just in a shit ton of pain. So, for now, Todd gives himself a more thorough check-up. Rucking his shirt up to inspect the damage. Everything is superficial to his untrained eye- blood already drying and nothing alarmingly deep. Black and blue in the morning, though. He's going to be so uncomfortable the next few days, but compared to Dirk, he's the lucky one. Even if Dirk has the tendancy to downplay serious injuries.

"Wait- shit!" He rummages through the bag. "Shit, shit, shit!" 

"What?" 

"My fucking- my medication!" Panic floods in his chest. "I'm gonna be-" 

"I have some." 

Todd gives him a skeptical look. "Why, exactly?" 

"In case of scenarios that end up being the worst-case type ones." Dirk replies, stiffly. He pulls out a bottle from his inside pocket. "I keep a spare bottle. So, you don't- don't have an attack, because of... well, doesn't matter, does it? That important part is that I have some." 

"Thanks..." Todd takes the bottle, feeling awkward. 

Dirk doesn't make an effort to respond. He turns slightly away, lulling his head back against the rock wall. Meanwhile, Todd applies the ice-pack to his jaw. 

Minutes tick slowly away. 

The silence is suffocating for Todd. Normally surrounded by noise- whether it's from a performance, or just being in the company of others. Or just talking aloud to himself. Something about doing that seems inappropriate right now, somehow. He isn't alone, but his company apparently isn't up for conversing. Which is concerning.  

Todd sneaks a glance. Dirk's eyes are closed, but the shallowness of his breathing suggests he's awake. The ice-pack is already losing its coldness. The urge to fidget is high, Todd is beyond restless, in pain, and just very bored. 

"Do you want to eat?" He blurts. 

"You said we should ration." 

"We haven't eaten since yesterday night. It's been a few hours." 

"You can eat." Dirk murmurs. "I can go a couple of days." 

"A couple-? Dirk, how the..." Todd trails off, implications hitting him. 

Whilst Dirk rarely speaks of Blackwing- and of the time between getting out of there and first meeting Todd- it doesn't take a genius to pick up on certain behaviours. Todd kicks himself mentally. 

"I'm not really hungry, actually..." He mumbles instead. 

Once again, no reply from Dirk. Todd shuts his eyes, hoping to doze for a bit. 

It's near impossible to tell how much time has passed when his eyelids flicker open. Same, unshifting darkness. His phone tells him it's now late evening. Damn. He slept surprisingly well. Then again, after everything, it's not that weird. He’s drained. 

He needs to take some medication. It's surprising he hasn't had an attack yet, considering the amount of stimulation he's received. Maybe he's building up a resistance like Amanda? 

Let's not jinx it. He thinks, as he dry-swallows. His throat is rough as hell. As he reaches for the bag, Dirk hisses quietly. 

"Shit, sorry. Did I wake you?" 

"Didn't sleep." 

Didn't dislodge the stick up your ass, either.  

"Dude, you must be exhausted." Todd takes a small sip. He wants more but, wasting water... he needs to be careful. "Just sleep, I can keep watch if that's what you're worried about." 

"I'm fine." 

"How's the leg?" 

"Sore." 

Doing some mental maths of his remaining pills, Todd surmises he's got a day's worth left. Not ideal, but they should hopefully be out of here by then. 

For now, he grasps for conversation topics. "How long until you think we're found?" 

"I'm not a bloody psychic." 

"Okay, what the hell is your problem?" 

"I messed it up again!" Dirk snaps. 

Startled, Todd leans away, trying to see Dirk's face better. The upset is obvious, the abnormal shine to his eyes.  

Shit.  

"Mess what up?" He asks, softer this time. 

"This!" He gestures the cave. "We're stuck here, you're angry, and I don't- can't fix it. Nobody knows we're down here!" 

"We're not-" Todd blinks. "I'm not angry at you- what- why would you think that?" 

"Yes, you are! I know you're blaming me for getting us into this mess! Because I got a stupid hunch to come here and it went nowhere! Now we can't get out! Now we're going to-" 

"Shit, Dirk!" This is going to keep Todd up at night alongside every other shitty thing he's done. "I'm sorry- I didn't mean to get nasty at you. I'm just kind of... really scared. But, that's not on you, you did nothing wrong; I promise." 

"But-" 

"Nothing, okay? You couldn't have known. Nothing wrong." 

"I haven't exactly done anything right. All I have is a leg wound and... and the feeling of being less than spectacular." 

"You remembered my medication." Todd points out. "I didn't even remember." 

"I worry about you." Dirk admits, quietly. He yawns. 

Todd ignores the flush. "Take a nap, man. I can keep watch." 

A pause, but then, there's a hesitant press of the shoulder, as Dirk rests his head on him. Breathing deep and even. Todd knocks his head against the rockwall, ignoring everything that isn't the figure leaning against him.

Well, if he's stuck down here, at least he's stuck with his best friend. 

Chapter Text

By the time Dirk awakens again, it's around 5am. They've been stuck in here for over twenty-four hours with, unsurprisingly, zero change. Todd hasn't moved, reluctant to disturb Dirk, as he's apparently had barely any sleep at all. Which is so damn typical of him- trust Dirk to run on a couple hours only and think that's normal.  

It's been a long wait, and he's getting numb. He can't play on his phone because he needs to preserve the battery, so he's been sitting in the dark, trying to keep his brain deprived of thoughts and the anxiety at bay. He's taken painkillers to try and cease the headache and eaten half a protein bar. It tastes of nothing. 

Focusing on Dirk’s breathing has become his past time the past few hours, because it's either that or the throb of his jaw. It’s steady and rhythmic- oddly soothing. It keeps his own breath from spinning out, because he already knows he must be the strong one. 

(Whilst he doesn't want to worry Dirk, he does not feel well. But he doesn’t need to know.) 

The breathing loses its rhythm. The air shifts. 

"We've really fucked up our sleep schedule." Todd half-heartedly jokes, as Dirk sits back up. 

"Never had much of one." Dirk replies, voice rough with sleep. Despite the circumstance, he sounds less tense than earlier, if very tired. 

"Better?" 

He sighs. "Not amazingly." 

"You can take more painkillers if you want. It's been enough hours." 

"No, it's... it's fine, really." 

The lie is obvious, but Dirk gets funny about this kind of thing- genuine care- even now. Pushing won't help. Instead, Todd tries a different tact. 

"Finish off the protein bar, then. You can't not eat." 

Thankfully, Dirk complies, without too much protest. Barely chewing the bar. Todd watches the silhouette of his throat bob. 

"Did you bring your phone?" He asks, before it gets weird to be staring. 

The chewing pauses. "I will definitely require a new phone if we get out. It's all currently little pieces right now, scattered along the ground. Pity, I had such cute selfies of us on there..." 

Todd sighs. He hoped they could at least be slightly more lenient with two phones between them. Next time, if such a scenario occurs again, he's going to bring a flashlight, the magician's lightbulb, spare batteries and then another two flashlights. Hobbs had the right idea. 

"Hey, whilst you're finishing that, I need to go take a leak." Todd braces himself to stand up. He can't sit still much longer. "Maybe check this place out... might be an exit." 

"Would there, though? It looks like it's just this. A dank and dark lot of rocks, and broken phone pieces." 

Todd holds back the bite of 'you were awake much longer than me', because he doesn't want to upset Dirk again. He knows him well enough that he's probably still more than a little stung by it, emotionally. It's not worth a fight. 

Todd stretches as much as his aching body will allow. "Worth a shot. It looks like there's a gap back there. It's better than sitting here waiting." 

"True..." Dirk groans as he moves to stand. 

"No, dude. Just take a breather, okay? I'll be back in a sec." 

Clearly unhappy, but Dirk does what he's told for once. Todd gives him a promise of not being too long, before sliding through the narrow gap. It's a tight squeeze- maybe too tight for Dirk, considering how broad his shoulders are. Todd's own shoulders scrape along the surface. 

It almost resembles a crooked hallway, but with jagged rocks and a low ceiling. A rare moment Todd's glad he's short, he doesn't need to crouch for this. Thankful for the lack of claustrophobia, too. This would be hell on earth, otherwise. 

This situation almost reminds him of the death maze. Minus the deathtraps, the puzzles and maps. So maybe not like the death maze. Honestly, Todd would rather do that again. At least it meant something in the end. As messed up of a scernario it was.

Eventually, the winding tunnel widens, opening to a cavern of sorts. A bit larger than the one he woke up in, but the same jagged rocks, the same lack of any discernible way out.  

However, there is a shallow pool, which Todd eagerly inspects. Maybe dehydration won't be an issue. Unfortunately, it doesn't look the cleanest, probably unsafe to drink. Just from shining his phone over it, he can see the dirt. Dehydration will be continuing. He sighs. So much for that. 

Blood seeps into the water as he soaks his hands. If possible, he could bring Dirk here and clean him up. Except maybe the injury. Putting this water on that open wound is a recipe for disaster. Todd shudders thinking about it. 

He rolls his shoulders, hoping to ease up the stiffness. The aches and pains remain unperturbed. 

He finishes his business in the corner, before finding himself leaning against the wall to catch his breath. Only eating half a protein bar in over twenty-four hours is really rearing its ugly head. How Dirk did this... actually, he doesn't want to think about that. 

Dirk... 

It's only been a few minutes tops but, he should get back to him. He knows he's more scared than he's really showing, which is less reassuring than if he's straight-up freaking out. At least that means he's just being dramatic for dramatics sake, rather than knowing the situation is dire. 

The outlook is not bright right now. 

The cave goes deeper. There's more to it, that part of him that gets excited by danger is fizzing, despite everything. Could be a way out if he just pushes on some more. Find people outside, get help. Get safe.  

He worries his lip. Then he would be leaving Dirk alone, barely able to walk. But, at the same time, what if there's a way out? Both can be rescued. 

Impulsivity wins out, as he wanders further in. 

This tunnel is wider that he has no worry of sharp rocks, or unwanted snags. He can see a large opening looming ahead. Picking the pace, he hurries for it, he sees no daylight, but maybe there's something... 

Shit!  

One wall falls away, leaving a ledge and a long way down. He stumbles, but maintains his balance. It's wide enough that he wouldn't have to wall-crawl along- thank God, there would be no way he will be able to- but this situation, already shit, is becoming worse. 

He's not scared of heights, but the depth makes his stomach turn. He needs to push on, but... holy shit... 

Just regroup, okay? He attempts to soothe his growing anxiety. Tell Dirk what you've found so far. Maybe- maybe he'll get a hunch or something. You probably should get back anyway, before-  

"Aargh!" 

His phone clatters to the ground, as his body seizes. Electricity runs through him. Feel all the jolts running through his body, hear it, feel it all. It hurts, it hurts.  

His legs give out.

He needs- he can't- 

his pills. 

Is he screaming? His vision is blurry, whiting out.

It really fucking hurts. 

Fingers rigid, attempting to grasp the pill bottle. He can barely feel anything but the jolts. His ears are ringing. Bile in his throat. 

Focus. He screams at himself. You can do this. 

He just needs to... 

He clutches the bottle. Death grip on it, as well as one can manage with an forever-staying tremble. A couple of pills fall onto his palm. The Universe briefly on his side, as he manages to swallow them. 

Electricity slowly flows out on him, leaving behind an empty body. Sensation returns to his fingers, his limbs. The ringing ceases. Instinctively, he curls up into himself, breath nothing but shuddering gasps. Heart threatening to burst out of his chest. 

Attacks are nothing new, he gets them every few days. But this one hit damn hard. 

"F-fuck..." He murmurs, blinking away tears. He doesn't want to be here. He wants to go home. 

Dirk. He needs to get back to him. 

With an exhausted groan, he heaves himself to sit up. Reaching for his phone. It's undamaged, aside from some scuffing. Small miracles. 

In utter misery, Todd uses the wall as leverage, letting it support most his body, as he treads meekly back. 

It takes longer to return, than it did to get there in the first place. Pararibulitis did a number on him, as much as he denies it ever does. The lack of water and food probably didn't help though, this time. 

When we get home... He thinks. I'm getting into bed and staying there for three days undisturbed.  

He squeezes through the tight tunnel, stopping abruptly at a muffled sound. Quiet and scared. 

"Dirk?" He rasps out. 

The weeping stops. 

He hauls himself through the gap, shining his light. It falls onto Dirk's face, cheeks shiny. He isn't in the same position he left him in. It looks like he tried to drag himself along. 

"You came back!" Dirk sheepishly wipes his eyes. "I heard yelling and... I just thought..." 

"Shit, I'm okay, Dirk." Todd rushes clumsily over.  "I had an attack..." 

"Are you hurt? Oh god. Stupid Dirk! Getting us stuck and-" 

"I'm okay! It was only a little one," Todd repeats. "It- it was shitty, but it's all okay." 

"Thought you left me behind..." 

Todd's heart sinks. "M'sorry. Really, I never meant to take so long." 

Dirk wipes his eyes again. "Hate the dark." He mumbles to himself. "Really bloody hate it." 

"Sorry." Without really thinking, he pushes Dirk's hair off his face. He appears a little out of it. His skin is warm and clammy. Stress, probably. Lack of food and water. It makes sense. 

"Did you- is there anything back there?" Voice seemingly strained. 

"There's a pool of dirty water and a ledge that will kill us if we fall off." 

"And you say I need to be more optimistic." Dirk tries to sit back up, but winces in obvious pain. 

It does not go unnoticed that he reaches to clutch his right shoulder, but drops hurriedly, as sneaky as he tries to be. Even in a deep darkness, the guilt on his face is impossible to miss. 

"Dirk," Todd gives a warning tone. "What are you hiding?"  

"S'nothing! I'm totally fine, Todd. It's all-" he gestures vaguely with his left hand. "- all good and stellar."

"Like hell, man!" He tries to keep an edge out of voice, doubtful he's succeeding. "Are you hurt there?"  

Dirk pauses, ducking his head. "It was hurting earlier. I think my leg was slightly higher as a priority, though..."  

Grumbling, Todd wrangles the jacket down enough to expose his shoulder, ignoring the protests. An angry purple bruise greets him, the size of his fist. Todd sighs, relieved. No blood. Absolutely nasty looking, but nothing to be overly concerned about. 

His gaze drifts to the old harpoon scar. The only time Todd's ever seen it- and the other one- was at the Sound of Nothing, but it really wasn't a focus at the time.  

How many other scars does he have? Dirk never talks about any of this. He's never shown him. Not that he needs to confide about any of it. But... Todd wonders. Wonders and worries. The two main emotions Dirk draws out of him these days. 

"Todd...?" A nervous voice pipes up. 

"We don't have anything for that, so just be careful." Todd briskly says, pulling the jacket back up. 

"Right."  

"Wish you said something. The ice pack would've helped." 

"But what about you? You're hurt too." 

Don't get frustrated. He's always done this. "Not as bad, though." Todd lies, touching his jaw.

It's obvious Dirk isn't believing him, but decides it's not worth pushing. "Is there a way out?" He asks, instead. 

"Didn't get far enough. I'll have another look in a bit." 

Dirk’s shoulders dropped. "Right, okay. I mean, that makes sense, because of how much nothing is currently progressing. There's been no change right here. Not one little peep." 

"How's the leg?" Todd asks, quickly changing topics. 

"Uncomfortable. Painful. Gross and gash-y and I'm refusing to make eye-contact with it." There's a non-subtle snippiness to his voice. 

"You're handling it well." Todd reaches over for the bag, fishing out a water bottle. It looks none have been drunk from since he left. "Do you think you can walk?" 

"Uh... maybe? Not well mind you, but I might out-speed a snail. Why?" 

"We might as well try and go through together. Probably be better to not be separated."  

He hesitates in his thinking, acknowledging that the attack has utterly drained so much of his energy. Pushing himself is never worth it, try as he might to dance at the limit's edge constantly. And, whilst it's not exactly 'we're going to definitely die in five minutes' quite yet, every minute creeping closer will make that a reality. It's been over a day of radio silence, he can't sit around. It's not how he functions.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Dirk asks. 

"You wanted to come with last time." 

"But it could lead to nowhere, or worse. And then we get stuck and die- and nobody will ever find us... I just, I have bad feeling..." 

"A hunch?" 

"No," Dirk tries to shake his head for empathises, but grimaces. "Oh, I shouldn't have done that. No, I just feel very not well. Tepid, mostly. Sometimes cold. Kind of not cold, too." 

"So, everything?" 

Todd touches his face again. Still warm and clammy. "I mean, no shit you're not feeling great, but sitting and waiting isn't really helping with anything. Let's go to that pool of water, at least. Cause then you can like, clean up a bit." 

Dirk still looks uneasy. Tugging his jacket sleeve. 

"You can lean on me," he offers. "Do it together. Won't be alone in the dark, yeah?" 

There's a moment of hesitation, but finally he sighs. "Okay." 

Todd hopes he can see his smile of encouragement. 

Chapter Text

This isn't working. Todd realises that just a few steps in. 

Dirk can barely walk, barely hold himself up. Can barely raise one arm.  

Todd is still in pain, himself. Body stiff and uncomfortable. He can't say anything, he can't have Dirk worrying about him on top of everything else. 

It took them many, many minutes just to get Dirk to stand. Todd hovers behind him, as they slip through the gap. Assumptions proven correct- Dirk can barely fit. The guilt splutters like a shitty lighter in Todd, as his best friend holds back obvious discomfort as he presses forward, squeezing his shoulders through the gap. Made worse by the fact he can hear how much Dirk's repressing each pained moan. Sometimes Todd wishes he wasn't so painfully aware of his friend's tendency to fall into such habits, even after so much time. 

Sometimes he wishes Dirk would trust him. 

They make it to the cavern, with the dirty, little pool. Dirk stumbles into the direction of the wall. 

"Sorry." Todd mumbles, as Dirk collapses heavily against it. "Maybe you were right. We could've waited." 

"Nonsense... what would've it done, really?" 

He worries his lip. "I guess nothing. Are... are you doing okay?" 

He isn't sure if it's worth asking that question again and again. How much change can there be, in a few minutes? 

"I'll admit the leg wound is not the most pleasant I've had to deal with in my history of getting leg wounds." He replies. 

At least he's sounding coherent, if exhausted. 

"Hopefully, a way out is not too far from here. Let's like, clean you up a bit first, though." Todd gently eases Dirk to walk forwards. "The water's kinda cool, so... it might feel nice." 

He manages to get Dirk to sit, without too much struggle. Todd has no cloth or tissues to use, but he has the shredded scraps of Dirk's button-down. That'll have to do. 

He finds the largest one and dips it in the water. It's dirty, but options are far too limited to be caring for things like that. 

"Keep still." He tells him. 

Neither speak, as Todd gently wipes the grime off Dirk's face. Despite the cold, Dirk leans into it with a sigh. His skin is warm under Todd's touch. He looks paler, more so now he's slightly cleaner. Breathing is light, fast and pained. The wound on his leg sticking out like a very obvious elephant. 

Not a pretty sight. 

Hospital, definitely. Todd muses. No matter how much he bitches about going.  

"Wanna eat something?" He asks, already predicting the answer. 

He gets a headshake. It'll be better if he did, but there's no use pressuring him. 

Dirk groans, face tight, but it ends quickly, shifting his injured leg. Todd bites his lip, trying to hold down his nerves. That's probably something, but hopefully not too bad, just tired from walking. Hopefully it stays back long enough that they can deal with it properly. 

"Think you can try walking again?" 

Dirk sighs, resigned. "Probably not." 

Todd hands him a water bottle. "Drink some." 

It's taken with trembling hands, and no protests. Which is mildly concerning, but Todd shoves it aside. Dirk grimaces, after a sip, looking embarrassed. 

"I... uhm... I need the toilet." 

The same slow dance, with getting Dirk up, and taking most of his weight, as he leads him to a corner. So that there's some privacy, he takes a few steps aside and checks his phone, hoping for a signal, but there's still nothing. He grumbles, the tiredness starting to settle heavy in his bones. He takes a drink, before getting back to Dirk. 

He gets back into position, supporting Dirk, curling a hand around his waist, as they traverse deeper into this shithole, through the tunnel. 

The large opening is approaching, and he's glad he angled them so that Dirk was by the wall, and not going to be at the edge with the steep drop. It would be so much better if he took the fall, in case something bad were to happen. 

Then Dirk's gonna be trapped. He can barely walk, so he'll probably die. His brain unhelpfully supplies. 

A shiver crawls down Todd's spine. 

"Be careful," he announces, unnecessarily. "It's not super wide here..." 

"I'll try..." 

They keep the snail's pace up, making their way across the floor. No sound aside from Dirk's pained groans. Fear is sitting heavy along his shoulders, and he can't stand it, his body is still aching. He doesn't want to think of the potential outcomes, but they're starting to trickle into his brain, and they won't goddamn go. 

"I don't remember getting this tired so quickly." Todd muses, out loud. He needs a distraction, he needs anything. "Even when on the run- Farah and I ate so bad. But we never got this drained this fast..." 

Dirk doesn't reply, aside from another grunt. 

"Christ, when we get out of here. I'm going to eat so much shit. Sleep for goddamn days." 

"Mmm..." 

"I mean... we'd probably have to go to the hospital for your leg..." 

Dirk abruptly stiffens. Todd sighs, expecting this. 

"I know you hate it, but like-" 

"T'dd..." 

Upon realising that Todd was starting to take on much more of Dirk's weight, he squints at him in the poor light. Colour drains from his face. 

Dirk looks like a ghost. White-faced, sweaty and on the cusp of keeling over. Gasping in a frantic manner. 

"I'm g'nna-" he lurches forward with a violent retch. 

Todd manages to hold him up, as he vomits his guts up. Not that there was much- just remains of a protein bar. The sound echoes around them, unpleasant and nasty. 

He awkwardly rubs his waist in a soothing manner. Dirk retches again, but nothing comes up this time, aside from some bile. There's obvious sobbing coming from him, and Todd barely has time to react to his legs buckling underneath, as he pulls him away from the vomit. Stumbling backwards, almost losing his balance. 

"Shit!" He scrambles desperately, trying to ease Dirk to the ground, realising he has passed out and was a ragdoll in his arms. He staggers, feeling one foot slide close the edge. 

Fuckfuckfuck.  

He pushes Dirk up against the wall, as to not have him choke on anymore vomit. And he scrabbles to the wall himself, pressing against the rocks, finding comfort in the solid jaggedness digging into his back. He won't fall and die. 

Letting his breath settle, Todd looks over to his unconscious friend. Concern is bubbling under his skin, because as tired as he was, that wasn't right at all. 

Dirk's sweating- Todd can see the slick sheen of his forehead even without any lights. Grey skin, tear-tracks down his cheeks. Scorching hot to the touch. 

Todd swallows, shines his phone onto the leg wound. It's wrapped snugly, and he really doesn't want to touch it. The visible skin around it is red- it looks hot and swollen. The cloth has definitely gotten more blood-soaked. 

He tried to prevent it, but he's shit at preventing the worst. 

He's gonna die. Because his brain wants to start a fight with him. He's gonna die, because you're shit at looking after people. Then you're gonna die alone, because you already know nobody's going to be coming for you.  

"Fuck!" He says to nobody. 

The phone battery is running out, too. It's under 50%. There's less than a day left, unless he uses it very sparingly. He needs a new phone, just for the lasting battery. 

He breaks off a tiny piece of the remaining protein bar, looking across the cave. He can't see much ahead. 

He could go further in, but he can't leave Dirk alone again. He soaks another rag with the water, ignoring his mind telling him not waste the only source of fluid, as some spills onto the ground, to gently wipe Dirk's face and mouth. 

Dirk stirs slightly from the contact. Blinking a few times, clearly out of it. 

"Hey," Todd says. "You with me?" 

"... dunno." His voice croaks. "What happened?" 

"You were sick, then you passed out. Only for a few minutes." 

"Don't feel well." 

No shit.  

"Dirk, don't sugarcoat it- is your leg really hurting?" 

There's a heavy, deafening pause. Dirk leans back, with a tired sigh. 

"It's gotten worse." 

Shit. On one hand, getting out of here needs to be the main priority, but on the other, Dirk is rapidly falling apart. He isn't sure how much further they can go, but they must. 

Just rest a bit. Todd tells himself, taking a sip of water. 

They make some more progress. Not much, but at least the cave has widened up they aren't worried for falling to their death again. Both are struggling. The lack of eating is really starting to mess with them. 

They have to make frequent pitstops. Barely able to make it a few feet, before one- usually Dirk- has to take a moment. 

They've both been sitting in the dark for a while, dozing in fitful bursts. Exhaustion hit Dirk much more heavily this time, so they've stopped longer than usual. It's been over two days now- Todd assumes anyway, he's becoming slightly disorientated. He only has one lot of medication left, one last water bottle and half a protein bar.  

Phone battery hasn't decreased too much, because he's been keeping it strictly off- relying on feeling in front of him, unless he absolutely must shine the place up, but otherwise they're resting in the void. Dirk comes in and out of wakefulness, looking lost and confused. Eventually, he wakes and seems to be able to stay awake. 

He does not look remotely better. 

"Am I gonna die?" He mumbles. 

Todd stares at him, wondering if he maybe accidentally vocalised his fears from earlier. His eyes are glassy, staring into the nothingness. 

"No, Dirk. We're getting out." 

"Todd..." He groans. "This situation... it's not..." 

"It'll be fine." He replies, firmly. 

Dirk doesn't seem to be listening 

"Didn't get to- to do everything..." 

Sensing a distraction, Todd gently nudges him. "Do what?" 

"Ask you out." 

Time freezes. Everything has stopped. 

A pin would be heard crystal clear in this moment. 

Todd needs to process. Dirk was going to...? To him? Holy shit.  

Holy fuck. 

What?  

Dirk's own words also seem to register for himself, as his face goes red. 

"O-oh!" He blinks several times, as if to get his brain to work with him. "I'm sorry- that was... forget it!" 

"What? No!" Todd steadies himself, quashing down unidentified emotions. "You were... you were gonna do that? When?" 

Dirk won't make eye-contact. "When this case was solved... I was just thinking- it's a silly thing, really- maybe go to a cafe or something. See how it goes, dip my toes in the romance waters. Your sister said that you secretly like- and I quote- cheesy, romantic shit. But I thought I shouldn't go too love-y just yet. In case it failed." 

He sounds out of breath just from talking. And still embarrassed, but apparently, unable to shut up. 

"Okay... please don't consult my sister for dating advice. Especially for me." Todd feels his own face heat up. It's a simple gesture- it's just a cafe- they've done cafes before. As friends. But it's always case-focused, discussing theories and the like. It was never... none of those types of feelings ever came to the surface. 

"She knows you." 

"No, she doesn't. You know that." 

"Was she wrong about that? The cheesy thing?" 

"... okay, maybe she had a point there." 

Maybe he is a sucker. Sue him. 

Dirk blinks again, digesting his words. "You're not... you haven't said no to the fact I want to ask you out." 

"I-" Todd pauses. He hasn't, has he? He never thought about Dirk in such a way before. At least, he doesn't let himself dwell on it- keeping it as a flittering ' yeah, he's kinda cute ' casualness, never considering pursuing more. Now it's being presented to him as an apparent option. His chest is suddenly erupting with a whole lot of something. 

You already know what it is.  

"Todd?" Dirk suddenly looks more exhausted than usual. "You can- forget about it, it was just a silly thought. We can just be-" 

"I'm not saying no." He goes for a smile, ignore the dull thud of his jaw. "I'd like to go on a date with you." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah! Although... why?" 

"Why what?" 

"Me. Like, why... me? I'm not exactly-" 

"Todd." Dirk interrupts, wetting his chapped lips. "I just... like you. A lot. For a while." 

"A while?" 

"Ah... I shouldn't- shit..." he shuts his eyes. "Ignore that." 

Todd decides not to push, feeling awkward. He has a lot of feelings he needs to analyse, but he also already knows he is not in the best state to be analysing it in a way that would be entirely rational. Everything is running on an erratic wavelength. 

"We should try and get a move on." He says, instead. 

Dirk sighs. "Unfortunately." 

"You ready?" 

"No, but I have to be." 

"I know." 

Chapter Text

The phone battery dies.  

Now Todd doesn't know what the time is, hasn't for a while- it's not like there's a sky to look at, and he's never had a great grasp of it. Combined with the fact there's no food left, and he's swallowed the last of his medication- things are dire. Todd's stomach gnaws painfully from the emptiness, whilst Dirk's keeps trying to reject something already absent. Only bile comes up. 

The situation has become worst case scenario and Todd is terrified. They walk slowly, Todd taking most the weight. They sleep in fitful bursts, taking tiny sips of water. Dirk is barely awake for a few minutes. And when he is, his gaze is lost and confused. High on a fever that Todd can do nothing for. 

Todd is nauseous himself, struggling to even walk straight. His brain flip-flops between 'keep going' and 'please stop now'. 

Keep going is winning out, against his better judgement. Lugging dead weight, flailing one hand in front of him as a vague sense of guidance. This is so fucked. Surely Farah would've recalled this place? It was so insignificant, though. 

They might not be found. 

Eventually, he must stop for a bit- exhaustion is embedded into his bones. Maybe sleep for an hour or so, call it a night. Or day. Who even knows. He, as gently as possible, lowers Dirk down, before falling heavily down next to him. He sprawls his legs out, pressing the length of himself against Dirk. Just to know he's still there, warm and solid. 

He touches Dirk's forehead. Still hot, still drenched in sweat. Guess it's better than him being ice cold. Todd's been trying not to think about that, as much as it needles in his head. Maybe Dirk can sweat the fever out, but his body's condition makes Todd scared. 

"Dirk?" He says softly. 

"Mmm?" 

He's still awake. That's something. At this point, Todd isn't sure if that's a good thing or not. If he's in too much pain to sleep. But pain means he's alive. 

"Take a drink." 

He has to help him, tilting the bottle to his dry lips. There's barely any left. How deep is this cave? 

"Ugh..." Dirk swallows the water. 

"We'll be out soon." Todd says. 

It's obvious Dirk doesn't believe him. At this point, Todd's own optimism is frayed and torn. But one of them needs to be. 

"Hey, when we get out of here, I'll take you on a date. The cheesiest, romantic shit ever." He continues. There's a shake to his voice, one he valiantly tries to smother up. "I'm talking like, candlelight dinner... champagne. Dozen roses." 

There's a huff of laughter. "I don't like champagne." His breathing is loud, raspy. "Neither do you." 

"About the vibes."  

After a moment, Todd takes on some bravery and holds his hand. His fingers are stiff and aching, but he has a weak hold. The hand returns the grip, equally weak. 

"Vibes?" Dirk questions. 

"Y'know... peak romance shit." 

Another tired, huffy laugh. "Rose petals on the bed? Love songs?" 

"If you want." I'll give you anything.  

"I don't... need anything. Just you." 

Todd blushes. "Y-yeah. Okay. I can do that." 

There are no more replies, and Todd realises that Dirk's drifted off again. Todd sighs, shakily. He'll just keep watch for a little bit, make sure that Dirk doesn't choke on his vomit. 

He has an attack, without any medication to help ease it.  

He covers his mouth, so Dirk won't wake to his crying, as he tries riding it out. Rusty blades in his skin. It hurts, it hurts. Blinding white in pain. 

When he comes to- when did he black out? - and Dirk's looking at him, begrudgingly ready to start walking again. Oblivious to the fact Todd had an attack. Or decided it's no longer worth asking. 

He's so utterly drained afterwards, but he has to keep going. Dirk's dying, and that will always matter more. 

They have no water left. Todd doesn't address it, Dirk makes no mention, either. But Todd knows he will. He doesn't want him to. 

The progress they make gets shorter and shorter each time they make a stop. Dirk can't put any weight on his injured leg. Even in the dark, Todd knows that it's swollen with infection and pus, and the bandage is probably doing nothing at this point. Has it spread? Todd doesn't know enough on this kind of thing. But Dirk has become increasingly out of it. Mumbling incoherently, abruptly stopping to retch up nothing. 

It must have been at least another full day. Another day of darkness and no food or water. Todd has another attack, but Dirk's too far gone to hear it. 

We're gonna die. Todd's brain is screaming. You have nothing left.  

He can barely support Dirk's weight anymore, having resulted in hooking his arms under Dirk's armpits and dragging him along. Dirk's head lulling against his chest. Todd whispering unheard apologies whenever he knocks Dirk's body against a rock. 

Todd shudders, hands trembling from hunger and dehydration. He props Dirk up against the rocky wall and crumbles next to him. His head is splitting. 

Dirk shifts next to him, with a feeble groan. Hand reaching out to skim against Todd's arm. 

"When I die-" he croaks. 

Holy shit. Todd flinches, as if struck.  

What the fuck.  

"Jesus Christ, you're not dying!" 

"- I just want to have my name on my grave." 

Todd stares at his profile. "What the hell?" 

Dirk isn't looking at him, staring off elsewhere. Suddenly bursting with a newfound energy. A pitiful amount, but it's the closest to awake Todd's seen him in several hours. Glassy-eyed and grey skin. 

"I always thought that when I die, they wouldn't even know. Nobody knows who I am!" Dirk's voice gets increasingly reedy, as if desperate to get the words out before it's too late. "They'll just see this nobody! This no-one guy. With lots of nothingness to his no-name and give me a grave with the same amount of nothing on it-" 

"Dirk..." 

There's a sinking feeling that he might not realise Todd is with him. But who does he think he's talking to? 

"- and-and Riggins. Well, Riggins wouldn't put Dirk Gently on the grave. Goodness knows he wouldn't- nobody there would. He'll just put the me on there that he believed meant something. That's not Dirk Gently, though. That me doesn't like him- of course he wouldn't have the me that is Dirk! But that other self-" 

"Dirk!" Todd can't handle this. 

At the increased volume, Dirk stops abruptly. 

"Sorry, I'm so sorry." He blabbers, all energy rapidly fizzling out. "I'll- I'll shut up, please I didn't mean-" 

"Dirk." Todd says more softly. Third times the charm, right? Dirk is frankly terrifying him. "It's okay."  

"Sorry..." his eyelids flutter. 

Todd fumbles for his hand, hoping to distract him. "Can't die yet." He whispers. "Our date remember?" 

"Mmm... date...?" 

"Yeah... the candlelight. Or- or..." Todd's face scrunches up, swimming through grogginess. "The cafe! We can have a cafe. To go and have a date in, I mean. Don't... don't buy an entire cafe. We don't need that..." 

"Sounds... sounds fun." 

"It will be." 

Dirk slumps against him. Heart in his throat, Todd hesitantly raises his hand by Dirk's nose. There's the faint tickle of breath, much to his relief. He's just fallen asleep or fallen unconscious. Even if he isn't dead yet, this situation is becoming rapidly dire. Todd's terrified. They're hungry, injured and one of them is fighting a losing battle with an infection. The other has an illness that can set off at any moment, with no more medication to reduce the chance of an attack happening. He isn't sure how many his body can take, especially in this state. 

This is really fucking bad. 

He can't leave Dirk. He doesn't want him to think he's been left behind. But Todd can't carry him. He barely has enough strength to drag him along. His mouth is dry, throat is sandpaper. Body aching. 

But this conversation happened. Dirk's not fighting anymore, and Todd knows- he knows- he won't try and wake up again. 

He needs to go. 

He squeezes Dirk's hand, ignoring the absence of a returning squeeze. 

"I'm coming back." He mumbles, as he heaves himself up. He stumbles but manages to stay upright. "I'm coming back." He repeats. He needs to. "I just... I need to see if there's anything. I won't leave forever." 

Complete silence on Dirk's end. If it wasn't for the leg wound, Todd would assume he was sleeping peacefully. He leaves the bag, hoping to indicate to Dirk he hasn't left him. In a near replica of someone incredibly intoxicated, Todd staggers onwards. Bracing his hands on any near rock, unable to trust his balance. 

You couldn't take him. Todd assures himself. You might save him this way.  

After an indiscernible amount of time, Todd feels so unbearably disorientated. He has probably covered little distance, but everything just looks the same, so it's just impossible to tell anymore. There's no sense of anything. He isn't sure how long he's been stumbling along- sense of time long since dying and he's wondering if maybe he has truly fucked it up worse for them both. 

Maybe they already died. Is this limbo? Fated to wander? 

He's dizzy, legs straining, as they desperately try and avoid buckling underneath him. He can barely see anything in front of him. His body is stiff, and he's terrified an attack will be set off any moment now. But he continues on. 

Just as he's on the verge of collapse, he feels it. 

A breeze. 

Fresh and cool on his face. He staggers towards in that direction, something like hope surging in his chest and foggy mind. The cold interior becomes lighter. It's daylight. He's outside. 

It's real. 

He doesn't know where he is. But it feels nice- the sun warming his skin. The light makes his eyes water- he can faintly sense the wetness streaming down his cheeks. Black fuzziness coats his vision- no matter how much he rubs his eyes it does not shift. His hands are heavy, and his coordination is clumsy. None of his limbs are connected. 

"Todd!"  

Todd turns to the direction of the voice- wherever it is. It's cotton. His ears ring. 

He vaguely makes out a figure run towards him. He stumbles towards them, attempting to yell for help, but all he lets out is a croak. He can't see shit. 

"Dirk!" He gasps, flailing his hand behind him, towards the cave. "Dying... help!" 

Save him. SAVE HIM. 

"Holy shit, what the fuck happened? You were, like-" 

Doesn't matter.  

That someone grabs his shoulders, as if to steady him. 

"Dirk!" He repeats, body swaying. Suddenly, he has a horrible sensation rising in his stomach. "Supposed to... candles. Champagne.... urghhh..." 

He pukes on his shoes. The person in front of him jerks back, avoiding the landing zone, before standing next to him, patting his cheek. She's saying... things. Gibberish. His vision is getting darker. 

It swallows him up before she can finish speaking. 

A pounding in his head is the first thing Todd becomes aware of. 

It's a familiar sensation, along with his body having been hit by a metaphorical train. There's something soft under his head, something draped over his body. Wherever he is, it's warm and very bright. 

Someone is with him. Can sense the presence, right by his side. He tries flexing his fingers, tries opening his eyes, but with minimal success. 

"Wake up, asshole." A voice says. 

Presumably, it's them that's now rapidly patting his hand. It's like cotton balls on his skin, vague tingling pressure. It's a struggle- his eyelids are so gummy- but he blinks awake. 

He wakes to his sister. She's lounging in a vinyl chair, feet resting on the bed. 

"Hey," she says, as way of greeting. "Thought you died." 

It comes back. Like a dream, a surreal haze. The landslide, being trapped, dying. Sunlight.  

"Where...?" His voice is torn, barely a croak. "How...?" 

"You ran out of a cave towards me, starting rambling about booze and candles, then you puked, and proceeded to pass out." Amanda shrugs. "And somehow still not the weirdest thing I've seen you do." 

Todd almost cracks a smile. 

"Farah called." She elaborates. "Said you and Dirk have disappeared. Couldn't track you anywhere- you scared the absolute shit out of her, y'know. I wasn't exactly super close by- but we drove up. See if the Rowdies could smell you out, or something." 

Amanda pauses. She's giving off the air of someone who doesn't care, but she's never been good at faking it. Brotzmans care too much and only sometimes handle it even remotely well. 

"They got a burst of something- said it was like when I have an attack, so..." she trails off, letting it linger. "We couldn't pinpoint it. I had a vision of you in front of me, looking like shit- but alive. So, I had a location to work with. Then, you ran out the cave." 

Todd sits up more. "Dirk... is Dirk- I left-" 

"Calm down, I'm getting there. You were blabbing about him- it was easy to piece together that he was in there. Martin and Cross went in to haul his ass out, whilst me, Vogel and Gripps got you in the van. Thought it was easier than calling an ambulance. Called Farah, too. She needed to know." 

Another pause. Her shoulders tense. "Dirk looked... he didn't look good. Even the Rowdies were rattled and careful with him. I think they were worried he was gonna get gross shit in the van, because also like... his leg had yellow stuff coming out of it." 

"Is- oh fuck- is- is..." He needs to go. He’s got to see- 

A hand holds him down. 

"Whoa, whoa! Todd, he's still alive!" 

"Oh, thank god. Can I- I need to..." 

"Wait, man. You're still like, fucked up, too. Not as bad- they said you were super dehydrated. Just wait for a nurse. You'll probably be let go today- you're awake and kinda coherent. Farah's with Dirk right now, so he's not alone. Although, it took a while before anyone could see him." 

No family. Todd sighs. 

"Is he really okay?" He asks, quietly. "Like, you saw him?" 

"For a bit. He's sleeping- Farah's been giving updates. You've both been in here for over a day." 

Todd swallows, throat still hurting. Amanda, noticing, hands him the glass of water on the bedside table. It sloshes a little with her roughness. 

After a long drink, he speaks again. "How long were we in the cave?" 

She shrugs. "Less than a week." 

It felt longer, but he trusts her word. 

"Oh yeah," Amanda says, suddenly. She throws a bottle at him. "Bring your fucking medication with you, before you go cave exploring." 

They're fierce, her words. So is her expression, burning daggers into him. Their relationship can never be what it was, or ever become what it was supposed to be. But they care, they'll always care. Begrudging as it is. 

"Thanks." 

Todd gets discharged that evening. Visting hours are close to ending, so he's eager to go. When unconscious, Farah had dropped off clothes to change into. He's beyond thankful, he really didn't want to change back into the clothes he'd spent a near week in.  

She also, surprisingly, hugged him tight enough to have him gasping for air. Farah is by no means a touchy person, so he holds back, just as tight. She stayed briefly- everyone in silent agreement to not have Dirk wake alone. 

Todd's aching to see him. Antsy, waiting for the all-clear. 

"Dude, chill. It's not like Dirk's gonna go anywhere." 

"I need to talk to him." 

"He's probably sleeping. Like I said, it was really bad. Even the Rowdies were worried he was gonna die in the van. They didn't wanna deal with that." 

"The Rowdies took... they took us here?" 

The Rowdy 3 still haven't bothered to learn Dirk's name. They only vaguely respect him because he can throw a punch. Todd has yet to see Dirk do such a thing. 

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, dipshit. I didn't want you to- whatever." 

"And are they just like, chilling in the hospital?" 

"Nah, I think they find places like this uncomfortable. They also freaked out the staff. A bunch of punks running in with two unpunk dudes, who look like they were dragged out of hell. I realised afterwards that yeah, that does look nuts." 

"I am punk." 

"You dress like an arcade carpet." 

Thankfully, the nurse arrives before they can squabble some more. 

"Sooo..." Amanda chimes. "What do you wanna talk to Dirk about?" 

They're walking in the direction of the room Dirk is staying in- Farah had updated that he wakes up, but isn't lucid, nor stays awake for long. Not promising for Todd, but he's being optimistic that he'll stay awake. 

Todd had also been hoping Amanda forgot the earlier reply. She is annoyingly persistent and nosy and remembers shit freakishly well. He hopes he isn't blushing. 

Unfortunately, she perhaps still knows him well. From his peripheral vision, he sees that all-insufferable grin of hers. 

"You asked him out?" 

Or maybe not. 

"Asked me out, actually." 

For a moment, Amanda looks surprised. It's covered fast, but Todd suspects that she had planned an entire smug revelation of 'Dirk liked you the entire time, asshole!', revelling in his shock and horror about it. Fretting over the hypothetical 'what if he doesn't like me like that' tear-stained speech, the 'woe is me, I made a fatal error in judgement'.  

"Good for him." She settles on. "Although was it a death-response?" 

He sighs. "Yeah, okay. No shit, of course that's when he asked. He wanted to ask after the case. So, he technically didn't ask me. But also, kinda did? We made plans." 

"Yep. A cafe. Really set on it." 

"Oh god, did you plan it with him?" 

"Hey, I didn't tell him to ask you after the case. Just what you like romantically. Apparently, I need to add candlelit dinners to future suitors. Not that I think you'll have any." She adds, hastily. 

"You're officially banned from talking about me to him." 

"Yeah, good luck with that- you're all he talks about. I'm surprised it's taken this long just to get to an 'ask out' stage." 

"Fuck me. How long?" 

"Like, forever?" 

Todd winces.  

People fall in love at different speeds. He reminds himself.  

"And... why did you never mention any of this to me?" 

"To be honest, I'm like, astounded you never noticed. And I thought you were gonna ask before he did." She pauses. "And, anyway, I didn't wanna ruin it for him. He'd never done it before- let him live. Let him ask his crush out like he's a teenager." 

They're just outside his door. 

"I doubt this is what he had in mind." Todd says. 

"Yeah, well," she replies, a little gruff. "Life is like that." 

Dirk still looks awful. The greyness sticks to him like stifling heat, but he's breathing steadily. Not awake. 

The three of them talk for a little bit, but then there's a little groan from Dirk's direction. He blinks awake, adjusting to the lights. At this, Amanda drags Farah away with a mischievous grin and knowing look. The look is returned, and now Todd's got to wonder if Farah is involved with this. He's not going to think about it. 

When the door is shut, he collapses heavily onto the chair. Dirk's eyes never leave him.  

He reaches for his hand, giving it a squeeze. It's returned. 

"Hey." Todd's voice is soft. Being loud feels incorrect, somehow. 

"Hello," Dirk is subdued, more so than he usually is. "How are you?" 

"Alive. You?" 

"Also alive, somehow." 

"Mmm..." 

Todd swallows. "Hey, Dirk. I'm... I'm really sorry for leaving you." 

Dirk wets his lips. "It's fine... we would've died." 

"I still don't feel good about it." 

His hand is squeezed again. "I promise, Todd. You're forgiven." 

"Enough for the date?" 

"Yes, I- oh!" he trails off, embarrassed. Averting his gaze, as if ashamed. 

Concerned, Todd tilts his head. Was it just a result of delirium making him say nonsense? Unease flutters in his chest. Maybe he will be woeful, after all. 

"Dirk, what is it?" 

But he's already drifted off. By the time a nurse gently tells him to leave, he hasn't woken up. 

It takes two more visits, before Dirk is awake. Awake enough to be lucid, aware of where he is. The infection has cleared up significantly and there's a warm tinge to his complexion. 

He looks alive. Truly so. 

It's just the two of them right now. Todd's been trying to ease Farah into the idea of taking a few days to go to Bergsberg- he is so guilty for the amount of stress caused.  

And he knows Amanda has been awaiting results with the whole date thing- seemingly convinced that Dirk definitely likes him and wasn't just the brain-fog talking. Todd doesn't want to know how long her and Dirk have been in cahoots with this, and he still doesn't know how much she's told Dirk about what he enjoys the rare times he does date. He suspects she cares more for it to go well for Dirk, then him. 

They've been talking awkwardly, obviously dancing around the subject. Now with it looming, Todd is dealing with unexpected shyness. And worry. 

What if it really isn't anything? 

He may need to coax it. 

"Hey, Dirk." He says, when there's a lull in the conversation. 

"Hmm?" 

"The case should be nearly done, right?" 

"Well, with most the yachtsmen dead... yes. I think I'm still missing some pieces, but I have faith." 

"And..." Todd tugs his sleeves. "Your celebratory plans? They're still...?" 

It takes a minute for Dirk to realise what Todd's asking. 

"... oh! Yes, right." He averts his gaze. Like the first time. 

"Dirk, what is it?" Maybe he'll get an answer this time. He prepares for the worst. He can deal with rejection, misunderstandings. It's fine. Life goes on. 

"It's just," Dirk blushes. "I didn't even ask you properly. Not really. I... I really wanted to. But it's already... you already..." 

Oh... 

oh!  

Todd smiles. He sees the little hiccup now. He can't fix a lot of things, but he can fix this. 

"Ask me now." He tells him. 

"Really? It seems a bit pointless now..." 

"Do it anyway." 

Dirk stares at him. Cheeks still rosy, eyes flickering over Todd's face, trying to gauge for something. Todd keeps his expression open, earnest. Nothing, but pure honesty.  

Dirk licks his lips, soothing himself. 

"Todd Brotzman," he begins. "Would you like to go out with me?" 

"Yes," Todd cradles his hand within both of his. There's warm laughter in his chest. "Absolutely." 

Many days later, two men leave a small café, after their date. They already have a dinner reservation for next week. But for now, they’re holding hands with the sun in their smiles.