Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan had never been one to “coast” as his fellow padawans would call it, no matter how naturally skilled he was in one area, he would challenge himself in almost every way. He wanted to prove to Qui-Gon that he had made the right choice by choosing him as a padawan, even if it meant pushing himself. 

However, Master Qui-Gon never expected that of Obi-Wan, from what Obi-Wan could tell, his master had more faith in him and his choices than other masters and their padawans. Never did Qui-Gon tell him he needed to sit in on certain classes or to focus on certain lessons, instead he let Obi-Wan decide what was the best fit for him. Following him from class to class, guiding him where he could. 

At first, that structure frustrated and made him anxious, worried that this was just another coded test he would fail. He worried he would pick the wrong lesson and suddenly Qui-Gon would no longer see him as a fit padawan or worse, not fit to become a Jedi Knight. He would agonize over his choices, try to think what Master Qui-Gon would want from him, but it never seemed to make a difference. 

Now as Obi-Wan sat alone in his room in the Jedi temple he wished his master had made him take Force healing classes. The Jedi were peacekeepers at heart. He knew healing would be an important skill to have someday, but he never saw its true importance. Being a Jedi during peacetime meant he had to be a strong negotiator in order to keep that peace, be well-versed in Jedi traditional scrolls, and know how to meditate in even the most deafening environments. He focused on these classes, leaving the healing and other small specialty classes to fall to the wayside. In no way could Obi-Wan foresee how his master's blood would leak onto his hands, the Force silent around him, as he begged for more time, but with no way to ask for it. The regret of not taking healing classes had weighed heavily. 

He knew if he started taking healing classes immediately after returning, the counsel would dismiss him, saying he clearly needed more time dealing with the loss of his Master and that he was acting out of attachment, not how a Jedi Knight should act. He could not rush into it like his mind begged him to do. He also knew he needed to spend extra time guiding Anakin, especially to catch him up. 

In the early days, Anakin didn’t say much but dutifully followed Obi-Wan around the temple, always one or two paces behind him. Obi-Wan tried to give an interesting tour and pass on the knowledge that Anakin would need to navigate the temple, but as he watched Anakin look around, it was clear that this was a lot for him to take in. In Anakin, Obi-Wan saw his younger self. He was just as nervous as Obi-Wan had been when he had first arrived, wondering where his place would be in this impressive building and with the Jedi’s history spanning for millennia.

Unfortunately, Anakin had a clear challenge. He was already older than most of the younglings in training and while he needed to learn to get along with the other kids, Obi-Wan clearly remembered being made fun of by his fellow padawans when he had fallen short, but at least he had grown up with them and had the ability to defend himself on equal ground. Anakin would not have this privilege. While the Jedi claimed there were no attachments, cliques did form between the younglings and Anakin would stick out like a sore thumb. Word of Anakin’s Chosen One path had also spread like a wildfire through the temple, making some of the padawans seemingly jealous of his untrained power. 

Sighing, Obi-Wan looked up at the Chrono. It was time for him to wake Anakin and take him to his first class. Still exhausted, Obi-Wan began going through the motions of getting ready. Washed his face, changed his clothes, and right before he checked his hair in the mirror, his fingers first brushed against the newly buzzed hair and then his eyes zeroed in on the spot. The section of hair was shorter than the rest, growing ever so softly in the section where his padawan braid once laid. 

He never thought he would miss something so simple, something that had weighed so lightly on his shoulder. Now in missing its weight, it showed him a new burden of being a Jedi Master and of having his own padawan. Obi-Wan already felt like an imposter, but at least with the padawan braid, there was a level of excuse, of nuance to his level of skill. Mistakes, while rare and frowned upon, could be written off as him not knowing any better, him still learning. Now, Obi-Wan had to be the one with all the answers, but the short hair reminded him of the fact that he wasn’t.

In truth, he felt rushed into all of this, but taking Anakin as his padawan was his dying master’s last request. Most Jedi Knights had time and the option to say when they were ready to take on a padawan learner or at the very least still have their master around for guidance. But Obi-Wan had neither. 

Avoiding his reflection the best he could, Obi-Wan continued getting ready and then grabbed a protein bar, barely tasting it as he began walking the halls of the Jedi Temple. Anakin’s room was not far from his own, but today, as he approached the door, he noticed that unlike normal he could not feel Anakin’s nervous energy buzzing through the Force. In fact, Obi-Wan detected that no one was in Anakin’s room and even though it felt silly to do so, Obi-Wan still found himself knocking and waiting. 

Obi-Wan sighed and began racking his brain. Where could Anakin be? He hadn’t expressed much interest in any of the classes or locations outside of the occasional nod to show he understood what Obi-Wan was saying. Obi-Wan knew the young boy was overwhelmed and homesick. He missed his mother. The only family Obi-Wan knew, the one perk of joining the Order when he was so young was that his memories of his own mother were vague. 

After a few moments of looking at Anakin’s door, he began searching the Jedi Temple. He walked fast as not to alert the other Jedi to his lost padawan. He kept pace and smiled and waved to the others, allowing himself to search as subtly as possible. Obi-Wan reached out gently in the Force, searching for the spike of energy that was normally Anakin, but he felt nothing, at least not as strong as it usually was. It took some time, but after passing a supply closet he felt a small spike of energy in the Force that reminded him of Anakin. 

Obi-Wan paused, waiting to see if Anakin sensed him on his own. Finally, Obi-Wan softly knocked on the door. He waited again and listened to the gentle hum of the Force around him. There was no change in Anakin’s Force signature. Giving up hope that Anakin would respond on his own, Obi-Wan opened the door himself. 

The supply closet was small and stored various parts used to fix holoprojectors used in the archives, yet when Obi-Wan opened it, it was more organized than he had ever seen it. Parts were properly put away, stacked nicely and neatly and on the floor laid Anakin, a spanner clutched tightly in his hands as he opened his eyes. Obi-Wan watched as he slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. 

“Master? What are you doing here?” Anakin asked, clearly confused by Obi-Wan’s presence which made Obi-Wan smile. It was clear Anakin hadn’t thought much of what he himself was doing here. 

“Now, I could be asking you the same question. What are you doing in a supply closet?” Obi-Wan watched as Anakin first looked down at his hands still clutching the spanner and then to the walls around him as if he wasn’t sure how he had got there in the first place. 

“I’m sorry, Master. I just…” 

Obi-Wan watched as the young boy trailed off and looked to the ground, his feelings of discouragement thick within the Force. For a moment he debated, before deciding to walk into the small closet and sit across from Anakin. The door automatically shut behind him, giving him just enough room to sit with his legs crossed, mimicking Anakin’s position. His eyes remained on the young boy who looked everywhere but at him. 

“Anakin, I can sense your apprehension through the Force. You know you can talk to me.” Obi-Wan’s hand twitched as he fought the urge to fidget with his nonexistent padawan braid. He watched closely as Anakin fidgeted with the spanner, at first Obi-Wan assumed it must have been bigger than the young boy was used to because of the slow way he was turning it in his hands, only to notice that his hands were beginning to shake. “Anakin?” 

“Promise you won’t be upset?” his voice softly asked. 

“Of course.” 

“It’s just… Qui-Gon said I would be free, but… why do I have to call you Master? Why can everyone find me so well when I hide? Why can’t I do the things I like?” Anakin began rambling. Obi-Wan watched with wide eyes as tears started falling down the young boy's cheeks. “I don’t want to be a slave anymore, Obi-Wan!” he cried and suddenly, all of Anakin’s behavior made sense. The way he followed Obi-Wan so dutifully around the temple, the way he never seemed to want to suggest what they should do. 

“Oh, Anakin,” Obi-Wan barely had time to say before the young boy practically launched himself into his arms. “In complete honesty, I didn’t consider how the Jedi titles may be affecting you. I promise you, you are not a slave anymore,” Obi-Wan reassured Anakin, to which he got a halfhearted nod as the boy curled closer to him. 

“Okay,” he said in a small voice, not very convinced.

“What if you call me a teacher until you’re more comfortable with Jedi titles? Would that be better, perhaps?” Obi-Wan ventured, rubbing the boy's back. 

“Teacher Obi-Wan?” Anakin tried before smiling. “But wait, that doesn’t answer my question, how do people find me so well when I’m hiding? Like how did you know where I was?” 

Obi-Wan thought for a moment before deciding it may be best to show Anakin. Most Jedi from a young age were taught about the way they were perceived through the Force and how to perceive others. It made sense in retrospect why Anakin didn’t understand this concept. Obi-Wan felt foolish for not realizing this sooner. Another reason Obi-Wan was unfit to be a teacher, it had barely crossed his mind that Anakin would not know about this since most younglings learnt this at a young age. Fighting back the feelings of failure, Obi-Wan opened himself to the Force, gently nudging Anakin’s life force with his own, causing the young boy to gasp and look up at Obi-Wan with wonder in his eyes.  

“Every living thing is connected to and with the Force, we all have a sort of… light in the Force. As a Jedi, you will learn how everyone’s life force feels a bit different and what they make you feel like. Eventually, as you learn how to connect your life force with the world around you, you will learn how to also hide your life force or at least disguise it. It’s how I was able to find you and soon you’ll be able to find me and others through the Force too.

“While every living thing is connected to the Force, plants, animals, people, you may even run into situations where things you aren’t expecting to reach out to you through the Force. You have to be open to the world around you but don’t worry. We’ll work on it, there’s no rush, Anakin.” Obi-Wan watched with patient eyes as Anakin seemed to think, the blonde boy rubbing his chin with his fingers. 

“Besides sensing things, what can the Force do?” Anakin asked and Obi-Wan pondered the question

“Well, you can use the Force to confuse others, some Jedi can feel memories through the Force, those are called echoes. Let’s see… you can also use the Force to sense other individuals and what they could be feeling. Jedi can also move or alter some things through the Force.” Obi-Wan paused, forcing himself to remain steady while talking to Anakin. “Some Jedi can heal through the Force as well.” 

“Is it hard to heal people through the Force?” 

“It can be. It depends on the injury and the skill level of the Jedi. Does that make sense?” 

“Would it make sense if I say it does and it doesn’t?” Anakin asked, causing Obi-Wan to release a chuckle.

“Yes, I think that perfectly describes even the best Jedi’s understanding of the Force. It’s a complicated concept, one that always seems to be changing as we do.” Obi-Wan smiled at Anakin, causing him to beam back, and while Obi-Wan still felt uneasy, he was blessed for Anakin’s honest and trusting nature. As much as Obi-Wan wished to have Qui-Gon’s guidance in these moments, he knew he wasn’t going to let his master down. Anakin was going to be the Jedi that would bring balance to the Force. 

.

CC-2224 knew if they were caught, the long necks would be beyond angry. Especially catching a CT coming into the CC’s barracks. Both he and CT-7567 would surely be decommissioned, but as CC-2224 held his younger brother through his tears, he couldn’t bring himself to really care. 

He could easily argue that this was what they were training him to do as a future commander for a war that was just starting to brew. Keeping the other troopers in top shape and making sure they were okay and in fighting condition. Sure, the long necks didn’t care much for their mental well-being, but if he explained it that way to Alpha-17, maybe they’d be okay. 

But CC-2224 couldn’t dwell on it for very long as CT-7567 sniffled and pulled himself impossibly closer to CC-2224. He responded by slowly running a hand through his brother's cropped blonde hair. 

He wasn’t sure what made CT-7567 trust him more than the other CCs. They all had been present during the training session, and they had all felt bad when CT-7567 ended up costing his squad the practice mission and injuring one of his squad mates. They had all tried to offer him advice, but it was CC-2224 that he came to in the middle of the night and it was CC-2224 who broke protocol and let the young cadet climb into his bed. 

“I didn’t mean to get them hurt,” CT-7567 mumbled for what had to have been the 20th time since coming to the barracks. 

CC-2224 sighed and gently pulled him back to look him in the eyes. “Rex, they know that. I know that. Things happen and it’s hard but wouldn’t you rather it happen in training than out on the field?” CC-2224 tried, and he felt his brother hold him tighter. 

“I’d rather it not happen at all,” the young clone said, causing CC-2224 to chuckle. 

“If only that was a guarantee you could make. Rex, things are going to happen out there and you’re going to have to make tough decisions. You’re going to have to learn when it’s time to let go.” 

CT-7567 pulled away roughly and looked at him with horror in his young eyes. “Cody!” CT-7567 practically yelled.

The volume made CC-1010 sit up and glare at the pair. “Some of us are trying to sleep before training tomorrow,” he hissed.

CC-2224 rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, Fox, we get it, you need your beauty sleep,” Cody bit back before shutting his privacy curtain. 

“Rex, listen to me carefully.” CC-2224 gently moved CT-7567’s head so they were making eye contact. Sometimes it was weird for CC-2224 to talk to the younger clones because all he could see was himself before all this training and worry had started to weigh on him. They were supposed to be training for a war, but through the hush of whispers and rumors the war hadn’t even started yet despite what the long necks told them. They were told they’d be serving the Jedi and none of them had even met one. He was worried they were all being made for a purpose that wouldn’t come to be, or a purpose that wouldn’t last. 

The war hadn’t even started but what would happen to him and his brothers that survived till its end? 

“There is no way to know what is going to happen out there, outside Kamino. The very best we can do is to be the best version of ourselves, whatever that means for each of us. For me, that means being a good commander, leading my brothers and having them trust me. For some others, it might be working as a medic or a pilot. But no matter what you feel you’re called to or whatever you end up doing, at the end of the day, you just have to make sure you’re making the best decisions for yourself. You will make bad calls, I will make bad calls, and our Jedi generals will make bad calls. It’s going to happen, unfortunately. There’s no way to control the world around us, Rex. We just have to do our best.” 

“But what if-”

“Rex, I’m sorry to say it but what happened today will happen again and you will feel responsible for a bad call. The difference will be if you learn from it and grow. You can’t let it hold you back, but you can let it change you for the better, do you understand?” CC-2224 looked into CT-7567’s eyes, which shone with unshed tears. He knew his own eyes must look similar. It was a hard conversation for anyone to hear, but CC-2224 knew that the young clone needed to hear this, just like he needed to hear it when he was CT-7567’s age. 

“I wish it was easier,” CT-7567 whispered before cuddling close to CC-2224’s chest.CC-2224 sighed and positioned both of them so they were lying in the tiny bunk, CT-7567 practically laying on top of CC-2224 as close to his older vod as he could. “Me too, Rex. Me too.”

Chapter Text

The world was a forest.

There were trees as far as the human eye could see, their trunks a wall of dark grey and green and golden brown. Vines and roots covered the ground on which Obi-Wan and Cody walked; every step they took, their feet sank into moss that was soft and springy. Even the air smelt green.

And there was life. So much life. The Force teemed with it, a bustle of sensations, emotions, half-formed thoughts and desires. It was radiant.

As Obi-Wan clambered across a fallen tree trunk, he almost regretted not having taken more Clone troopers down here, so they could be out in the green for a while, enjoy the fresh air. But only almost. After all, this recon mission had turned out to be quite boring so far.

He stopped in a stray ray of sunlight that fell through the forest canopy and turned to Cody, who was following him at a distance. "Still no sign of a power source, Commander?" he called. His voice temporarily silenced the chorus of little noises all around them before it picked up again, louder than before.

Cody looked up and over at Obi-Wan, but didn't answer right away. He seemed to be… staring? At Obi-Wan?

Was there something on his face? Squinting into the sunlight that fell on him from above and made his robes stand out luminously against the forest gloom, Obi-Wan discreetly wiped at his beard. Maybe a twig or a leaf had gotten tangled in it. Who knew. Anything could happen when you were slightly bored and not really paying attention to where your head was.

Then, Cody tripped on a vine and, with a muffled yelp, faceplanted rather ungracefully into a bed of little blue flowers, and Obi-Wan started worrying about other things than how his face possibly looked. Reaching into the Force, he took a hold of it and vaulted over a thicket of swaying ferns to land by Cody's side.

Somehow, Cody had gotten his arms pinned under his rifle in a truly unfortunate position. As he struggled to get up, Obi-Wan gripped his Commander's shoulders and rolled him over onto his back.

Cody spat out a mouthful of plant matter, let go of his rifle and used his hands to rub green stains off of his face. He'd taken off his helmet a while back and clipped it to his pack, "Because in this heat and humidity, I feel like I'm drowning in my own bucket, sir."

Now, he looked up at Obi-Wan and smiled. "Thank you for your help, General, and please forget about this incident immediately. And especially don't tell my men about it."

Obi-Wan huffed out a snort. "Tell them about what, Commander? I don't know what you're talking about."

If Cody's smile had been bright before, it was radiant now. "Sir, thank you, sir."

"You already said that, Commander," Obi-Wan chided gently as he reached out a hand to help Cody up. But, at the last moment, he changed course. Something had caught his eye - one of the little blue flowers had gotten tangled in Cody's hair.

Leaning in closer, he brushed his fingers through strands of Cody's neatly cut and brushed hair. Cody was holding very still now, the chestplate of his armour barely rising and falling as he stared up at the canopy of leaves overhead. Obi-Wan was grateful for it as he got a hold of the flower's delicate stem and finally untangled it from Cody's hair. Triumphant, he held it up for Cody to see.

"There," he said. "Just making sure we don't accidentally bring an invasive species on board."

"Very good, sir." Cody stared a little longer at the flower between Obi-Wan's fingers before he turned his head away and sat up. He picked up his rifle to check it over, and when that was done, he took the scanner that was hanging from a cord around his neck and studied its display. "Says here there's a power source nearby, behind that slight ground rise in the east. It's very weak, though. Should we still go check it out - sir?"

Obi-Wan took one last look at the flower before he pocketed it and turned back to his Commander. Maybe it was just the light - or the lack of it - but he thought Cody's cheeks had turned a few shades darker.

"Might as well," he answered. "Or do you think that there's anything else we could be looking at, Commander?"

Cody took a few seconds to answer. He was staring at Obi-Wan again, more specifically at his face. Then, he looked back down at the scanner and shook his head. "No, sir. Don't think so."

Satisfied, Obi-Wan nodded and stood. Maybe he should get Cody some real shore leave some time soon, since he seemed to have trouble focusing more and more often lately.

He studiously avoided thinking about how that seemed to be only the case when he was in a twenty feet radius of Cody, and that so far, no external complaints concerning the topic had reached him from other Jedi or military officers. Instead, he held out his hand. Cody promptly accepted the proffered help and held onto it for balance as he stood up. Then, he gripped his rifle in both hands again, ready to use it.

When he looked over at Obi-Wan, the blush from before had disappeared. "Shall we, General?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "Lead the way, Commander."

So, Cody did.

They picked their way up a gentle slope overgrown with waist-high fern and the obligatory trees. As the ground rose, Obi-Wan found himself looking at Cody's back before him more and more often. Despite his earlier misstep, Cody moved like he belonged in the forest. Slow, patient, quiet, always on guard, the scattered sunlight dappling his armour in hues of gold and green. There was still a twig caught in his hair.

The fact that Cody was beautiful like this - was beautiful always, in fact - did not take Obi-Wan's breath away. It was just that, a fact, and one that Obi-Wan had realized long ago. There was simply nothing he could do about it, nothing else than persist and resist.

The heel of his boot caught on a root or vine, and Obi-Wan stumbled. Extending his arms at his sides, he caught himself short of careening face-first into a very thorny thicket of… something.

When he looked up, Cody had stopped but hadn't turned around. He was studying the scanner again, blissfully oblivious to Obi-Wan's near-imitation of his earlier accident.

Well, small blessings. Obi-Wan smoothed his hair back and - this time paying attention to where he placed his foot - joined Cody at the top of the rise, in front of a dense wall of green leaves.

He bent closer to study the scanner over Cody's shoulder. "Well, my dear Commander - what have you found?"

Cody frowned. "I don't know, General. The power readings just spiked, which means there should be something here - but there's nothing here."

"Something big," Obi-Wan muttered as he looked at the readings. Then, he turned to the wall of green and reached out.

His hand sank into the wrist, meeting leaves, stems, vines that Obi-Wan brushed aside - and finally something hard and smooth.

A gong, like plasteel meeting metal, rang through the forest. The noises of buzzing insects and chittering animals stopped - but this time, they didn't pick up again. Only the leaves kept rustling softly in the wind, far, far above Cody's and Obi-Wan's heads.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Obi-Wan said. Cody let go of the scanner and cocked his rifle.

The green around them burst into red. With a nigh deafening sound of metal scraping on metal, the curtain of green parted in front of them like the crimson maw of a giant beast, ravenous, slavering.

And the beast's maw was teeming with teeth.

"Clankers!" Cody shouted, proclaiming the obvious as he swung around to stand in front of Obi-Wan and opened fire.

"A droid factory," Obi-Wan said a little more - but not much more - calmly. His lightsaber slapped into his palm before he even knew he'd called for it. He ignited it. A familiar snap-hiss sounded through the air just as the droids turned to them and started returning fire.

Obi-Wan stepped up to Cody's side, repelling blaster shots and sending them back at their attackers. Behind their line, he could see the inner workings of the factory rattling away, churning out fresh droids as he watched.

"I think," he said, leaning slightly towards Cody without looking at him, "we may have overstayed our welcome."

"Couldn't agree more, sir," Cody grunted as he single-handedly unhooked his helmet from his pack and pulled it over his head. His voice turned modulated as he asked, "Time to retreat?"

"Time to retreat and regroup at our shuttle." Gripping his lightsaber tighter, Obi-Wan started inching backwards, and Cody followed him.

Torn leaves and cracked branches and blaster shots rained down on them as they scurried from tree to tree for cover. Bark splintered above their heads. Critters ran around their feet, fleeing from the ulcer that had embedded itself in their forest floor and had now so suddenly broken open.

At least the factory seemed to be producing only standard battle droids. The only super battle droids that had faced them had been taken out by Cody's first few close-range rifle shots.

They had just made it out of range of the droids' blasters, and Obi-Wan had just started to relax, when a whirring sound told him it wasn't over yet.

"Take cover!" Cody yelled as a destroyer came rolling towards them.

Obi-Wan was just about to heed the advice when the droid unfurled its limbs to come to a standstill - and crashed to the ground, creaking under the assault of its own momentum. A vine had hooked itself around one of its feet and made it stumble, still propelled forward by its own speed.

At Obi-Wan's back, Cody snorted. "Stupid clankers."

Obi-Wan pointedly did not remind him of what had occurred only half an hour ago. "Indeed. The Republic is much luckier with its troopers."

The previously motionless destroyer twitched before its canon suddenly swung around, perfectly targeting them. It fired. Obi-Wan swung his lightsaber in a wide arc, deflecting two, sending one back at the droid-

-and missing one.

Behind him, Cody made a horribly, terribly strangled sound.

.

Obi-Wan rarely went down to the troop quarters. Jedi were assigned rooms to rest and meditate and clean up on the higher levels of a Jedi cruiser, one where interference from everyone's feelings and sensations in the Force wasn't that strong.

And clones, Obi-Wan had learned early in the war, felt strongly.

As he passed them by now, most of them greeted or saluted him. Others were deep in thought, or - in a startling contrast - so caught up in their conversations that they didn't even notice him in their midst.

Which was just as well. He was already getting stared at enough.

"Sir," one of them finally piped up as Obi-Wan passed by a table where some sort of board game was being played. "Is that paint?"

Obi-Wan fought down the blush that was trying to rise into his cheeks. He gripped the small canister he was holding in his hands tighter, obscuring the label with his fingers, and kept walking. "Perhaps, trooper."

Someone tittered. When Obi-Wan turned his head, he saw the trooper who had asked elbowing one of his siblings in the side.

Another clone, his hips cocked as he leant against the table, took a sip out of a bottle of - supposedly - water before he used it to point down the hallway. "The Commander's room is left, right, left, and then the fifth door to the left, General."

Obi-Wan frowned. "Thank you, but… I know."

It was the wrong - or maybe the right - thing to say. More of the clones snickered now - too many to be silenced by the clone who'd started the whole thing - and some went into a huddle, talking in hushed voices. The clone who'd tried to show Obi-Wan the way shrugged, a smirk slipping onto his face.

"Just in case, General," he drawled. "Let's just hope the Commander is in today."

"I… yes." Obi-Wan turned and continued on his way right before he lost the fight against the blood rushing into his cheeks. Just in case. Clone troopers these days. You couldn't even so much as breathe in their direction without them immediately incorporating it into their scuttlebutt.

Luckily, by the time Obi-Wan reached Cody's quarters, his face had cooled down again. Taking a hand off the canister he was carrying, he knocked against the door.

"On my way," came a muffled voice from behind it. Then, there was a dull thump and some cursing, followed by a clatter, until finally, the door opened with a woosh.

Cody stood there, only in his blacks, hair mussed and cheeks glowing. When he saw Obi-Wan, he immediately stood a little straighter. "Sir! I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you, sir."

"You couldn't have." Obi-Wan pointedly refrained from trying to glance past Cody at the state of his room. "I'm sorry, but… did I just wake you up?"

Cody's hands went reflexively up to his face and rubbed at his eyes before he seemed to catch himself and pulled them back down. He looked at Obi-Wan, then down at his feet, then back at Obi-Wan.

"... Yes," he finally answered, the expression on his face the dictionary definition of sheepish. "I was taking a nap. I know I have reports to fill out, but I…"

The but I was so tired went unspoken. Obi-Wan heard it nonetheless. Briefly, he considered reaching out and squeezing his Commander's shoulder, to offer him some measure of comfort - but he held himself back. He had never been given outright permission to do any such thing.

Instead, he gave Cody a reassuring smile. "Not to worry, Commander. We Jedi appreciate it when our soldiers rest up well and take care of themselves. And speaking of taking care of yourself…" He held out the canister for Cody to take. "I heard you and your vode value your armour very much - so much so that you refresh its paint regularly. But we have been out of paint for a while now, with no opportunity to restock."

In fact, it had been quite a sad sight - passing his men by in the mess hall or on the battlefield and watching their colours fade as time and dust and water wore them down.

Obi-Wan didn't have to reach out into the Force to know that Cody was thinking the same thing. The Commander eagerly took the paint canister from Obi-Wan to study its label, which read Sunrise Orange in Galactic Basic.

However, Cody's face was quick to fall. Turning the canister over and over in his hands, he looked up at Obi-Wan. "I greatly appreciate the gesture, General, but… this won't be near enough paint for the whole battalion."

Obi-Wan felt relief flood his system. He'd already started to worry that he'd picked the wrong shade of orange, or the wrong kind of paint, but as long as this was the only thing Cody objected to-

"This can is just for you," he explained. "There are many more stored in the supply rooms. During our last supply run, I made certain that our supply officers picked up enough paint for every single trooper on this cruiser."

He knew the look Cody gave him, then. It was the same look Anakin had sometimes given him when he was still little and Obi-Wan had done everything in his power to make him feel at home in the Jedi Order. It was a look that made him feel like he'd hung all the moons and possibly also many of the stars in the galaxy.

"Thank you, General," Cody said, his free hand flexing by his side as though he wanted to do something but did not know what it was that he wanted to do. "Thank you. This means a lot to me - to us."

"I know." Obi-Wan slipped his hands into the sleeves of his robes and gave a small bow. "Now, if you will excuse me, I will leave you and your soldiers to it. I made sure the requisition forms are already filled out and sent, so you have to do nothing but dispatch some of your men to pick up the-"

"You're not staying?"

Obi-Wan felt a small shock travel down his spine, though it was not unpleasant. He looked up and met Cody's eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I know we're usually a bit private about how we paint our armour," Cody began, "but since you gave us this gift… And because you've really only been good to us so far… I would not mind if you stayed and watched. While I'm repainting my armour, I mean. But only if you'd like to, General, sir."

Obi-Wan hesitated. Cody wasn't the only one who was meant to be filling out reports at the moment, and Cody had been right - the clones of the 212th attack battalion preferred to decorate their armour when they were by themselves.

But he had given a gift, and now, he was being offered one back. Accepting it was the only polite thing to do. Also, he really did want to see Cody holding a spray can or a brush. He was sure the man was as apt at handling them as he handled strategies and tactics on the battlefield.

Obi-Wan smiled. "Yes. I would very much like to."

.

Cody's previously spotless armour was sullied with blood, his orange sunrays drowned out by its crimson fury.

Obi-Wan panted for air as he stumbled through the forest while trying to stop the bloodflow with a hand pressed tightly against Cody's abdomen. His other arm was supporting Cody's torso, with one of Cody's arms slung over Obi-Wan's shoulder.

It had been a while since Cody had stopped holding on. His body was a dead weight at Obi-Wan's side, only occasionally uttering a low moan or sigh when Obi-Wan nearly stumbled again.

They'd been on the run for far too long now. At their backs still came the occasional burst of blasterfire, but it was finally receding, blending in with the sounds of the forest which had picked up again farther away from the factory. It was like the forest was trying to cover their tracks, drowning out Cody's stifled noises of pain and Obi-Wan's crackling footfalls.

Still, Obi-Wan did not stop until there was nothing to indicate that they were still being followed. All the times he'd tried to call for help, reinforcements, anything, the commlink at his wrist had only returned static. For the moment, they were on their own. When Obi-Wan did slow down, it was because the forest was thinning out in front of them.

Ten more steps, and they found themselves bursting out of a thicket and onto a small, oblong clearing, in the midst of which a fallen treetrunk was rotting. Flowers and moss covered the upper part of the log, mushrooms the lower, darker and moister levels of wood. Saplings had sprung up around the dead tree, fighting for dominance in their race to the sun. Between their branches, insects were dancing and cavorting in the humid air.

It was a beautiful sight. Only Obi-Wan did not have the time and mind to appreciate it.

Instead, he carefully lowered Cody onto a springy bed of moss and started unbuckling his backpack, then his armour. The chestplate came away wet with blood.

Obi-Wan took a few heartbeats to breathe and calm his shaking hands. Then, he grabbed a hold of Cody's ruined blacks and, inch by inch, ripped them open to reveal the wound.

After he'd done that, he had to take another few deep breaths to try and regain some semblance of calm.

There was blood everywhere, more than he'd at first thought there would be. You couldn't even see the wound - only a place from which blood sluggishly pumped. It was no scratch that could be healed with a burst of palm healing, that much was for sure.

For the first time since he'd been hit, Cody opened his mouth to speak. "How bad is it?" he hissed from between ground teeth. "Feels… very bad."

"Oh, no, no no no, not at all, dear." Obi-Wan hurried to get their first aid kit out of Cody's pack. "It's not as bad as you think. Now, please, just hold still."

The way in which Cody closed his eyes told Obi-Wan he didn't believe a word of what he'd just heard. "Yes, sir."

"Good man." Obi-Wan began by applying more pressure on the wound with one hand as he rooted through their medical supplies with the other. Bacta, bandages, disinfectant, thread and needle. The basics.

Not enough.

He had to stop the bleeding somehow, and he had to close the wound. Maybe cauterise it.

His free hand twitched to the lightsaber at his hip before he pulled it back. Not yet. At the temple, in basic med class, they had always been taught that using their blade was a last resort.

As he ripped open a package of bacta bandages, Cody stirred under his touch. When Obi-Wan looked up, he saw that Cody's face had changed considerably, grey now instead of the usual full, healthy tan. Droplets of sweat stood out against his forehead like a miserable wreath and deep lines had dug themselves into his forehead and around his mouth.

"Talking… hurts," Cody rasped. "Breathing, too. Obi-Wan-"

"No. I told you to stay quiet." With renewed desperation, Obi-Wan unhooked the lightsaber from his belt and ignited it.

Its blade was reflected in Cody's wide eyes, a pale flame that danced as Cody's shivered.

When he spoke, his voice was smaller than Obi-Wan had ever heard it. "General?"

"I'm sorry, Cody." Obi-Wan carefully pulled the soaked remnants of Cody's blacks further back, exposing the skin around the wound. "I'll try to make this as quick as possible, but it won't be painless."

"Sir." At his sides, Cody's hands clenched as though they were seeking purchase against the ground. When Obi-Wan glanced up, he saw that Cody had his jaw firmly set, his eyes staring skywards. The light behind them was already half gone. "Thank you, General. It was an honour serving with you."

Obi-Wan frowned, but if there was something Cody did not have, it was time to clear up Obi-Wan's confusion. Without letting himself think much more, he lowered the blade of his lightsaber and pressed its edge against Cody's wound.

The sizzle of too-warm flesh was drowned out by Cody's scream. A flock of bird-like critters flew up out of the canopies of the surrounding trees, cackling in distress as they filled up the air with the flapping of their wings.

It was over in a heartbeat. Cody's scream cut off like it had been switched off as Cody snapped his jaw shut. The white of both his eyes and his knuckles was showing, but he kept quiet. So quiet.

Somehow, that was worse than the screaming.

Obi-Wan pressed the blade of his saber several times against the edges of Cody's wound, for good measure, until he couldn't take any more of Cody’s mulish silence. Then, he retracted the blade and carefully - very carefully - put his weapon back on his belt.

Only then did he dare check on the wound. The bleeding hadn't stopped, but it had diminished. That was a start.

And yet, still not good enough.

He was just starting to consider sewing the wound shut himself, even though he'd never been very good at that, when Cody opened his mouth.

"You could've warned me," he croaked.

The needle was sterile. So was the thread. Good. But Obi-Wan couldn't possibly sew Cody shut now, not when there was still so much damage on the inside. Cody would just die of internal bleeding.

"I did tell you," Obi-Wan said as he steeled himself for what had to come next. He pretended his hands didn't shake as he reached for the bottle of spray disinfectant and unscrewed it. "I don't know what you're talking about. What did you think I was going to do?"

Cody was quiet for the time it took Obi-Wan to disinfect his palms.

"Put me out of my misery, sir," he finally said, his voice firmer now. "I know irreparable damage when I see it. Decommissioning me would only be-"

There was only so much Obi-Wan could do to keep himself from reaching out with his newly disinfected hands and touching Cody's face, his shoulder, anything. But there was no time.

"No," he muttered as he laid a layer of bacta bandages across the wound, and then again, louder this time, "No. You are not disposable. You deserve to be saved, and so I will save you."

Cody had not cried when Obi-Wan had picked him up from the forest floor and made him walk. He had not cried when Obi-Wan had taken off his armour and exposed the full extent of his wounds. He hadn't even shed a tear only moments before, when Obi-Wan's lightsaber had brandmarked his very flesh.

Now, however, his voice cracked as he said, "By all means, sir. Have a go at it."

Obi-Wan did not have to be told twice. Closing his eyes, he laid his palms flat on Cody's covered wound and drew upon the living Force.

.

"Why don't you heal yourself?"

Obi-Wan looked up from the clone soldier at whose side he was kneeling to see Cody standing over him. The Commander had taken off his helmet and was holding it under his arm.

They were still taking heavy fire from the enemy, but they had pushed forward to an oblong rock formation that stood out like a sore thumb in the arid desert plain. They were currently sheltering there, to catch their breath and tend to their wounded. The walls of rock in front of them absorbed the brunt of the enemy cannons' barrage. Only occasional shudders and dust raining down on them from above reminded the battalion of how close they were to the front.

And the wounded. Always the wounded.

Obi-Wan turned back to the clone trooper whose injury he was stabilising, trying to picture the life-giving Force as it flowed from his palms into the man's leg and knitted the torn flesh there together. "For a Jedi to heal themselves, it takes a lot more time and energy. And a quiet place to meditate, if possible. But we-"

"-have none of those things available at the moment," Cody finished for him. "Yes. I know. But General, you are hurt."

Obi-Wan glanced down at the slowly expanding patch of dark red on his left sleeve. Yes, a blaster shot had nicked his lower arm, but-

"It's nothing. Only a scratch." On the ground, the clone gave a low moan of agony. Obi-Wan took one of his hands away from the wound to lay it against the clone's forehead instead and ease the man's pain.

"Scratches have cost lives before." Sand rasped between Cody's armour pieces as he hunkered down at Obi-Wan's side. A frown dug a sharp line between his eyebrows as he picked at Obi-Wan's bloodsoaked sleeve. "You really should get this looked at, sir. Infections aren't fun for anyone. Maybe a medic can bandage you up until we get back to a medbay."

"The medics are all busy with cases that are more urgent than mine." At last, the flow of blood from the wounded trooper's leg ceased. The injury was not nearly healed, but Obi-Wan knew it would make the work of the medics easier, and possibly save the trooper's life. Wiping his palms on a bandage drenched with disinfectant, Obi-Wan allowed himself a moment's pause - before he changed over to the next trooper who was nursing a head injury.

Making his touch as gentle as possible, he cupped the man's bandaged head in his hands and reached into the Force. He didn't like what it showed him - the trooper was fading fast. He wasn't even reacting to Obi-Wan's touch anymore. The flutter of his eyelids was a mere reflex.

However, that did not mean that he was fully lost just yet.

Bowing his head, Obi-Wan closed his eyes to call upon the Force and at least try and make the swelling of the clone's brain go down - and startled at the sound of tearing fabric as his left arm was jostled.

He turned his head to glare at Cody. "Commander. What are you doing?"

"Trying to remember my medi-aid classes, sir." Cody tucked the fabric of Obi-Wan's torn sleeve out of the way before he started cleaning the wound with a sterile wipe. "I may not have the Force, but I can apply a dressing - I think."

Obi-Wan gritted his teeth at the burning sensation of the disinfectant, but as the wipe came away dark with dirtied blood, he had to admit that Cody had had a point about the risk of infection. Still- "You don't have anywhere else to be, Commander?"

"No, sir. Not when my General needs my help." Cody paused for a heartbeat and looked up. Their eyes met, and Obi-Wan felt something in his chest clench at the earnestness in Cody's gaze.

Please. Let me help.

If Obi-Wan hadn't been so tired, he would have smiled. As it was, he settled for a slow nod. "Then, by all means, Commander - have a go at it."

With that, he returned to pouring the living Force into his latest patient as Cody cleaned his wound and wrapped it in fresh, white bandages.

.

It had been three hours since Obi-Wan had last tried radioing in for help and had only been answered with static. Cody had been unconscious for at least two of those hours.

Obi-Wan had long ago given up on mending what was damaged and was instead pouring every ounce of the Force he could grasp into keeping Cody's organism from the verge of collapse. It was starting to look worse, though. Worse and worse.

Cody was slipping from Obi-Wan's grasp, and there was nothing Obi-Wan could do about it except to keep going against all hope. He remembered a lesson from the Force healing classes he had taken, one he'd hoped he'd never be obliged to apply - a lesson about letting go. A lesson about knowing when to stop, when to give up.

He'd given up so much already, let go of so many things, places, people he loved. It hurt, and the wounds scarred as they healed and never really went away, but so far, they had healed. Obi-Wan had recovered, always, had gotten back up after receiving yet another blow and had carried on.

However, he had a feeling he would not get up again after this. Not going by the weakening of his own heartbeat, or the loss of feeling in his limbs, in his entire body.

Time wore on and became meaningless. The sun set. Stars and moons wheeled across the sky, yet Obi-Wan did not see them, did not follow their course, only felt their distant pull as an echo at the back of his head.

In the pale moonlight, he watched as a bed of small blue flowers grew and blossomed around Cody and him. They were a testament to Obi-Wan's increasing loss of focus. Fueled by the healing energy that seeped from his palms and spilled over from Cody's body, they unfurled their tiny buds in record time and offered them to the world even though there was no one to pollinate them. Some tangled in Cody's armour, others grew into his hair, like a wreath.

Obi-Wan felt them like a part of himself, like he was in their leaves and stems and roots, connecting to the ground and communing with the mycelium that connected all plants of the forest.

The Force gave life. The Force took life. The Force was life.

And the Force was with him, within him.

Obi-Wan remembered another lesson. A secret lesson. A lesson scorned by some, revered by others.

He took one palm away from Cody's wound, though it stuck to it with congealed blood. Slowly, he gripped Cody's hand, trying not to wince at how cold it felt. He placed it on his own chest, gently, right above his own beating heart.

Two Force-sensitives could share parts of their life force with others, if they wished, if they were powerful enough - if they had been trained in the technique.

Cody was not Force-sensitive as far as anyone knew, but right now, Obi-Wan possessed enough willpower and desperation for the both of them to try anyway.

Wincing, he let go of himself just a little, gave in to the oblivion that was the first step towards death, and offered it to the flickering fire that was Cody's life force. It stoked the flame, made it burn brighter - and persevered.

Cody's breathing grew stronger. His eyelids fluttered, stilled again.

Obi-Wan's commlink crackled to life. "Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan? Where are you?"

Obi-Wan's mind stumbled as it tried to put a meaning to the strange utterance. He was tired. So very tired. But he had to stay awake, or else his connection to Cody would be lost, and with it, Cody.

"Obi-Wan! Hold on, we've got your position. Don't move."

Obi-Wan smiled for the first time in hours. I wouldn't even if I could, Anakin.

Then there was the humming of engines overhead, and various nocturnal critters startled as searchlights cut through the night. Figures on ropes started dropping from above, but before any of them had even touched the ground, someone landed at Obi-Wan's side.

"Master," Anakin breathed as he knelt and gripped Obi-Wan's arm. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

Obi-Wan didn't answer. So many sudden noises and lights were making his focus slip again. Under his touch, Cody grew stiller and stiller. If he let go now-

"Medic! We need a medic here!" Suddenly, Anakin wasn't crouching beside him anymore, but standing and shouting orders into the night. "Prepare a stretcher. The Commander's hurt, and the General… I think he's in shock."

Footsteps rustled up to them, trampling the little blue flowers. Obi-Wan gritted his teeth. From one of the transports, a stretcher was lowered.

"Come on now," Anakin said, taking Obi-Wan's elbow as a clone medic crouched at Cody's side. "We've got you now. You're safe."

He pulled, and Cody's hand slipped from Obi-Wan's and Obi-Wan's palm parted with a wet noise from Cody's abdomen-

Obi-Wan screamed as pain speared through him, lighting up the darkness behind his eyelids like fireworks as it radiated outwards from his guts into the rest of his body. Curling in upon himself, he lashed out, hit something, tried to get back on his knees and his hands back on Cody's body.

"You, trooper," he heard Anakin snarl from very far away, "get his other arm. Get- Yes. Now hold on, we have to get some binders-"

It hurt. Force, it hurt so bad. Cody would not survive this, neither of them would survive this. It hurt.

Help had come too late. Obi-Wan's, and Anakin's.

Obi-Wan was too late. He should've apologised to Cody. Should've told him that he liked what was growing between them, that he hadn't meant to deny it, had just thought they would have time for it - for each other - after the war.

Only there would be no 'after the war' for them. It hurt.

It hurt, and Cody lay dying, and Obi-Wan was too late. Always too late.

.

"It's late."

Cody looked up from the holo displayed on the strategy table as Obi-Wan walked further into the room. "Come again, sir?"

"It's late." Obi-Wan lowered his voice as he came to a halt by Cody's side. There were guards patrolling the hallways, a skeleton crew keeping the cruiser's systems up and running, but as far as he was concerned, every other trooper and crew member had bunked down for post-engagement rest - everyone except for his most capable clone Commander. "You should be resting like all the others, Cody. It is important to recharge after a battle, and I can sense that you are exhausted."

Cody paused a miniature replay of the battle and turned to Obi-Wan. His helmet was resting on the edge of the table, seeing as it sometimes doubled as a data storage and was currently feeding information to the holo reader. Now, Cody rested the flat of his palm on its curve as he blatantly appraised Obi-Wan from head to toe.

"I don't mean to sound insubordinate, sir," he said at last, "but if post-battle rest is so important, then why are you yourself not taking your own advice and resting in your quarters?"

Despite knowing better than to concede an argument too early, Obi-Wan felt a wry smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He shook his head as he leant against the table and propped up his hip. "Well, Commander, you got me there. However, as Jedi-"

"But sir, don't Jedi deserve rest as well?" Cody took a step closer, which left him well within the boundaries of Obi-Wan's personal space, but he didn't seem to have noticed. From up close like that, his brown eyes were very large, very deep and dark. Very beautiful. Obi-Wan noticed gold and green freckles in them which he'd never seen in another clone's eyes.

He swallowed, hard, then tried to cover it up with a chuckle. It sounded stilted. There was only so much he could do to keep himself from reaching out and taking Cody's hand in his. "We do, Cody. We do rest, when we need it. Nothing in our Code forbids us this - in fact, we are taught that we cannot pour from an empty vessel. But in this war…"

There was more he'd wanted to say, only he could not remember it. Cody was looking at him in a strange way - a strangely soft way. It made Obi-Wan feel like the cruiser's floor was slowly tilting under his feet.

"I think I know what your problem is, sir," Cody said. "It's not the Jedi or your Code or anything else keeping you from getting what you want - it's you yourself who's preventing you, sir."

Obi-Wan felt himself nod, once. Only once.

It seemed to be permission enough for Cody to lean in and press his lips to Obi-Wan's. They were soft, only a bit moist. There was an unevenness in the lower lip, where it'd been split during battle once.

Cody did not have a lot of experience kissing, that much Obi-Wan could sense. But it felt nice. It was a nice kiss. One Obi-Wan could lose himself in if he closed his eyes, if he really let go.

He held on and kept his eyes open. Gently, very gently, he took Cody's elbows and pushed him away.

Cody had had his eyes shut. Now, they fluttered open without meeting Obi-Wan's. Even in the dim light of the room, his cheeks darkened considerably as he looked down and muttered, "Apologies, General. I didn't mean to overstep. I promise it won't happen again." And when Obi-Wan still said nothing, Cody stepped away and made to turn and leave.

Obi-Wan held onto one of Cody's elbows, stopping him before he could get far. "Wait."

Cody waited, eyes trained on the floor.

"It's not how you think it is," Obi-Wan started. Cody's arm, only in his blacks though he was still wearing his shin and thigh armour, felt warm and firm under his touch - distractingly so. "I like you. Very much so, Cody. You're a wonderful man, an admirable one, and I'm honoured that you would show such… interest in me."

Cody looked up, dark eyes meeting Obi-Wan's. They were unreadable as he asked, "But?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "But… we cannot pursue our desires right now. We are at war, and any attachment that could divert our focus from it is a danger to us all. I know I ask much, but would you be willing to wait for me, Commander? For when all this is over, and we can live in peace once more."

Cody's breath escaped him in a shuddering gasp as he nodded, unconsciously swaying closer to Obi-Wan once more. "Yes, sir. I'll be there."

Obi-Wan smiled and, following a sudden urge before it could dissipate again, gripped Cody's for once bare hand, brought it up to his lips and brushed a kiss to the back of it. "That's all I ask of you, my dear."

Cody made a strangled noise somewhere at the back of his throat. His fingers flexed in Obi-Wan's grip as he flushed, darker than before.

Obi-Wan ignored the burning in his own cheeks and let go. He immediately wished Cody's hand back in his, but what he'd said before was true - it was late, and they were both tired.

"If I promise to return to my quarters and catch some sleep," he asked, "will you promise to do the same?"

"Return to your quarters, sir?" Somehow, after everything that had happened, Cody managed a grin. "I've never even been there."

Obi-Wan tutted even as he smiled back. "That is not what I meant, and you know it."

"Yes, sir." Still grinning, Cody picked up his helmet as he turned off the strategy table, then started towards the door.

Obi-Wan followed suit. They stepped out onto the hallway together, and the door slid closed behind them.

"Good night, General," Cody said with a nod over at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan gave a small answering bow. "Sleep well, Commander."

They parted ways, then - Cody going to the left, heading for the cruiser's lower levels, Obi-Wan to the right, heading for the higher ones. As the distance between them grew, so the sound of Cody's footsteps diminished.

And still, Obi-Wan smiled. They had time yet. They would meet again. They would have each other’s backs, they would look out for each other, see each other safely through battle after battle, and then-

Cody would be waiting for him - after the war.

Chapter Text

Cody woke up to a familiar sound. He had been in the medbay plenty of times before to recognize the steady beat of the heart monitor. This time, it was attached to him. As were many other things. Cody panicked briefly as he took in the odd sensations all over his body.

Then, a hand grasped his, and a wave of calm rushed through him. When Cody opened his eyes, the Negotiator’s ceiling greeted him. It took some effort to angle his head enough to see the owner of that hand—though he had a pretty good guess.

Obi-Wan watched him, waiting for Cody to fully regain his consciousness. Lines of worry marred his face, his expression far from that of a steady general. Cody squeezed Obi-Wan’s hand. An urge to smooth out those lines filled him, but he barely had the energy to do even this much.

The medbay was never this quiet. Only at night, with most of its occupants asleep. Cody must have been one of those till now. Something about that didn’t sound right.

He couldn’t quite remember how he got here. That in and of itself worried him. He couldn’t have been conscious for that part.

Cody shouldn’t have woken up—somehow, he recalled that. An intense feeling of ‘this is it’. The acceptance. The moment Cody had been waiting for. The only death he knew he would get. One out there on a battlefield. Most clones would end like that, one way or the other. And a commander was no different.

Still, he was very much here. His body screamed at him, aching all over. He felt horrible. Obi-Wan looked like he felt. Not good.

He had deep eye-bags, red eyes. His hair needed a wash and his robe was all wrinkly. Cody didn’t like the sight of it.

“Obi-Wan,” he said. It came out as a hoarse whisper.

Obi-Wan jerked despite the eyes that had been on Cody this entire time. Cody could see it now - Obi-Wan had been zoned out, unaware. Just how long had he been sitting at his bedside?

“Cody,” he whispered, his voice breaking on the last syllable as if he was the one desperately in need of some water.

What had happened after the fight with the droids? Cody wondered, concern creeping in. It couldn’t have been anything good. And he still didn’t remember.

Obi-Wan stood up suddenly and reached past him to grab him that water. He hastily called for a medic. He held the glass with a metallic straw in front of Cody.

There were tears in Obi-Wan’s eyes, unshed but stubbornly clinging, when he smiled at Cody, a genuine but pained smile. “Welcome back, Commander.”

Cody nodded, not quite having any words. Obi-Wan would understand. He wasn’t demanding. Never had been. He would know how far Cody could go right now. He always understood.

When he moved to sit up on the bed to sip at the water without choking, Cody didn’t get far. The skin on his abdomen pulled. Hard. Cody grimaced, biting back a hiss. Obi-Wan’s features turned into something, but it was gone before Cody’s eyes could focus on him.

He let his body fall back down and carefully took a sip of his water like that. Clearly, sitting up was out of the question for now.

The shot. The agony. Images came back. The forest around him and the sharp glint of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber. They had talked about something. And then, nothing.

“Obi-Wan,” he said. They were still alone, no need for their ranks. “What happened?” Cody didn’t request a report yet because he wasn’t sure he would be able to focus on the words long enough. Their operation had failed, he was certain of that. But how badly?

He would have to figure out if there was a datapad around somewhere, check those reports later.

Obi-Wan took his hand gently. “Later. When you feel better.”

Cody appreciated the concern, but he wanted answers. “I’m well enough.” He frowned. Obi-Wan knew that he would be requesting an update as soon as he was able. He was hiding something.

They didn’t hide things from each other.

Oh, yes, the operation must have gone terribly wrong.

The medic came and Cody lost any chance to keep asking. The medic checked his reactions with a little light, asked him how he was feeling, and then, before he could do a more thorough check, he turned to their general.

“Go sleep, sir. It will do you both some good,” the medic said, essentially forcing Obi-Wan out of the medbay.

After a moment’s hesitation, Obi-Wan nodded. “Alright, then.” He turned to face Cody. “I will be back later. With answers, too.”

Well, another thing Obi-Wan already knew about him was that Cody wouldn’t simply let it go.

The medic did what he needed to. Told Cody about his condition, about how they had to work hard to put him back together. Cody might have spaced out for most of that, his energy quickly draining.

Left alone, Cody pulled the thin blanket covering him away. He tugged up his shirt and stared at the horrible scar. Still raw, still hurting despite the numbing cream and heavy-duty painkillers he was on.

The medic had told him the bacta had been applied too late. As a clone, he wouldn’t be getting any fancy and expensive skin grafts.

Cody had never felt such pain. Not when he had been shot before, not when his face had been cut open. The lightsaber burning his skin—he would remember that sensation. And how he wished he didn’t. That it was just another one of those memories his mind would filter out, from shock or lack of consciousness, he didn’t care. He shuddered.

He could feel it now, the phantom pain, the memory of that agony, as he tentatively touched the raised skin. The rational part of his mind told him the fresh scar didn’t hurt. With some care, it would get less stiff. The pain, at least most of it, was in his head.

The medbay became his home for yet another day. The medic observed. Checked his cognitive skills. Wanted to make sure they were not impaired by the extensive time of him lying unconscious.

The medic had to tell him again about how serious it had been. He had been asleep for days. Even the medic admitted it—with injuries like that, Cody shouldn’t have been alive.

He had accepted it on that forest floor. Obi-Wan hadn’t. The general had done everything in his power and then some more to keep him alive.

Four days, to be exact, Cody had slept. Two of those, he had been submerged in a bacta tank.

With no details, Cody still knew that his being alive was Obi-Wan’s doing. It made him uneasy. Bringing him back from the brink of death. Nobody should have that kind of power. That wasn’t what the Jedi and their use of the Force did. The people who dabbled in that—the GAR had been created to come after them, to fight in a full-scale war against them.

What had Obi-Wan done? And why for Cody?

They were close. Had made a promise for after the war, and yet, Cody still couldn’t quite believe it. What had Obi-Wan done?

The question plagued him. He didn’t have his comlink here. The medic had told him Obi-Wan was in a meeting when he asked about him. A meeting with the Order’s Council. An ominous thing. Cody worried.

But maybe he didn’t need to. As soon as the intensity of the emotion passed, his thoughts took over and he was able to calm down. If all those days he had been asleep had passed and Obi-Wan was still onboard and acting as their commanding officer, what he had done to save Cody couldn’t have been that bad.

He settled in for a longer wait. Obi-Wan would come eventually. Even if a difficult conversation was to come, Obi-Wan wouldn’t be selfish enough to put it off.

Cody might be a little wary, but he did not doubt Obi-Wan’s integrity. Not for a second. A man like him would not fall. Not even for Cody.

After his meeting, Obi-Wan arrived. Cody didn’t beat around the bush. “Sir, what did you do?” His tone wasn’t meant to attack. He simply had to know so that they could deal with the consequences.

“I used Force-healing,” Obi-Wan said, not wasting any breath either and matching Cody’s pace of conversation. He sat down on the chair next to his bed, brought it a little closer still. “You were slipping. I—” Obi-Wan hedged “—I helped you hold on.”

“How?”

“I used my own Force, my essence. I poured it into you.” Obi-Wan leaned closer, his brows knitting together. Cody had a feeling Obi-Wan himself didn’t quite know what had happened back there. “How do you feel?” he asked Cody.

“Pretty much all healed.” Miraculously so.

“No, I don’t mean physically. Though I am very glad to hear that, my dear. In your mind, your soul. What do you feel?”

“Nothing unusual.” He watched Obi-Wan. “Should I?”

Obi-Wan’s ears reddened, face flushing slightly. “I wasn’t sure. We Jedi can sense the Force in everything around us. We can even find people through their unique Force signatures.”

Cody opened his mouth.

Obi-Wan nodded before he could ask. “Even you, Cody. And now, because of what I did, I can not only sense you, I can feel you, more than anybody else.”

“More? Like what?” He frowned.

“Now, it is your confusion. I knew you wished to ask me about everything yesterday. This morning, too, I felt… dread coming from you. For just a moment. I commed the medbay in the middle of the meeting, Mace was not happy about it, but the medics assured me you were fine. And then it was gone entirely.”

Cody knew exactly which moment that had been. He didn’t need to burden Obi-Wan with such suspicion. “You can sense my emotions then.”

“Some. The stronger ones. Not much different from what I can usually feel around me—”

“Only I was here and you were all the way up in your room,” Cody finished in Obi-Wan’s stead. Quite the distance and clearly, it was something Obi-Wan felt without conscious effort.

He nodded. “The Force is everywhere. And through it, Force-sensitive individuals can create special bonds. All kinds. Jedi Masters and their padawans. Spouses. Strong Force-sensitives that wish to ally themselves.” He took a deep breath, almost done with his explanation. “I think I may have established one such bond between us.”

“May have or did?” Quite the difference.

“Did.”

Cody nodded, taking it all in. “But you are the only one affected because I’m not Force-sensitive.”

“Precisely.”

“Is this… the Order. Is this allowed? Are you in trouble?”

“I’m not. We aren’t.”

Cody didn’t worry about the fraternization rules that would have applied if he were literally anybody else. The clones weren’t classed as sentient citizens of the Republic, so the rules were moot. A bit of a loophole.

“None of that Sith osik then?” Cody had to make sure.

“No. I would never.” Obi-Wan didn’t get angry at him for asking. “I poured my very life Force into you. None of it came from the Dark side. It was all l– The Dark side isn’t any of that.”

“And that still didn’t make me Force-sensitive?” Cody asked jokingly. Being able to sense that great Force - yeah, Cody would have immediately noticed if he could suddenly feel it.

Obi-Wan grinned, grateful for the lightness of the conversation and the humor. “No, dear. I thought it might, but no. You are just sensitive to me.”

“Doesn’t sound so bad.” Cody wished he could feel Obi-Wan the way the Jedi could feel him now. Maybe with time, something would show up.

.

Cody got released and returned to work as usual. The war did not wait for him. Obi-Wan had tried to cover for him, but still, the pile of datawork on his desk nearly drove him into another coma.

He couldn’t feel anything from the bond on his side.

It took him nearly a whole day locked in his office to get through every single report in that pile. He was nearly done when he found one that didn’t quite make sense. A report three days after the incident, one filed by Obi-Wan himself.

This wouldn’t do. He grabbed the datapad and headed over to Obi-Wan’s quarters on the other side of the ship. As he went, Cody got a dozen well-wishes and troopers tearing up at the sight of him. One attempted to hug him.

It was mildly annoying and extremely sweet at the same time. It was nice to see he would actually be missed around here.

The report was rather important, and it would need Cody’s professional input later on. He would see if Obi-Wan had the time to get it done now.

He had.

Strategies and newly gathered intelligence filled the next few hours as they poured over the next steps of their battalion.

The late afternoon progressed into the evening. Obi-Wan stood up to get himself a cup of caf. His usual tea wouldn’t cut it now. Cody declined, simply because his own cup was still half-full.

He was lost in thought, going over the number of troops necessary for a specific formation, when he heard a series of things.

Obi-Wan’s chair scraped against the floor. A clink of his cup of caf as he put it down. He must have sat down then. He muttered something. And then a rather undignified curse and a loud crash.

Cody hissed in pain as a burning sensation hit his hand. His eyes snapped up to Obi-Wan when there was nothing on his own hand. Obi-Wan was out of his seat again, looking slightly distraught as he Force pulled a box of tissues toward himself and quickly dabbed at the back of his hand and then the datapads.

There was the cup on the ground, shattered into two big pieces, and caf everywhere on the floor.

Cody stood up to help. “You should run it under cold water,” he told him.

Obi-Wan moved to do so after a quick nod and disappeared into his private fresher.

With him away for a bit, Cody glanced down at his hand. He flexed it, but the pain was gone. He wondered what that flare of pain was. His skin looked normal, but he could tell the feeling was one of a burn. It had been scalding. It wasn’t a cramp from overusing his hands to type out reports.

Obi-Wan came back a few minutes later. He smiled at Cody and showed his hand. “All good.” His skin shone pink, but there were no blisters.

Cody looked down at his own hand again. Dry, the same brown shade. Obi-Wan’s right hand. Cody’s right hand. Same hand. Same time. “Oh.”

Obi-Wan heard him and turned to him, brows raised. He didn’t need to ask.

“I’ve got something from the bond too.”

He perked up, excited to hear it. “What is it? Oh, was it the caf? Did you sense it?”

Cody cringed. Yeah, he’d sensed it alright. He hated to quash Obi-Wan’s excitement. Sensed it, but not quite like Obi-Wan imagined.

.

Obi-Wan waited patiently, sitting on the mat, legs crossed under him. His robe and lightsaber rested a few feet away from him. Cody took off another piece of his armor and put it next to the robe, onto the slowly growing pile.

They had agreed to test out their bond through a controlled spar. And as Cody got ready, Obi-Wan finally told him about what had happened after Cody had been injured in the forest.

“I thought the bond is the result of the healing I’ve attempted, from the Force, but maybe it was something more.”

“Something more than the Force?” Cody asked, pausing as he took off his pauldron.

“I don’t know. No Force bond I’ve ever heard of allowed shared pain. And so strongly. I nearly died alongside you on the planet.”

Having the whole account of the events made it sound more miraculous. That they had both survived it.

Obi-Wan stood up when he saw Cody finishing with his armor. He stretched quickly as Cody walked up to him on the sparring mat.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had to use my hands in a fight.”

“With how much you lose your lightsaber, you would benefit from more practice,” Cody said. He added a quick ‘sir’ at Obi-Wan’s indignant look.

“I practice and meditate every day.”

“No such thing as too much practice,” Cody said, circling Obi-Wan who simply waited for him to strike first, relying on the Force to sense the attack.

“I can see why all the shinies are afraid of you.” Obi-Wan laughed.

“Well, can you imagine if more of them turned out to be like Waxer and Boil?” Cody let his fist flow. Obi-Wan evaded easily, his reflexes other-worldly as always.

“Oh, we certainly wouldn’t be bored around here.”

Cody increased his attacks, Obi-Wan spun out of the way. They continued dancing around each other for three more minutes. Cody didn’t get tired, but he would start to soon. Obi-Wan looked unbothered, his smile taunting.

Enough playing. Cody had been through rigorous training. By a man that had bested many Jedi. Force-user or not, he would make Obi-Wan sweat.

Cody increased his pace and finally, his hits connected. Obi-Wan ducked from his kick, but Cody was already there with another. Obi-Wan hadn’t expected a double, and so his reflexes slowed. Cody jabbed his hand into his ribs and clipped his shoulder with another hit.

Obi-Wan took a step back, his smile dropping as he was forced to pay more attention to Cody’s movements. Now, Cody was the one grinning.

He eyed Cody, one hand held up to shield his face while the other rubbed at his ribcage. “Did you feel that?” he asked him.

Right. This wasn’t just a friendly spar. It had a function.

The adrenaline from the fight made his heart beat faster, his blood rush through his veins, but it also postponed the pain for later. “I didn’t really notice.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “Hit me harder then.”

Cody made an involuntary grimace.

“I’m not fragile, dear Cody, and we have a task to accomplish,” Obi-Wan said with a small smile.

Cody rolled his eyes. “Of course, sir. But don’t complain about any bruises later.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Obi-Wan charged first. The fight grew more serious. Cody didn’t hold back, couldn’t, not with the way Obi-Wan aimed and delivered his own attacks.

Cody kicked in Obi-Wan’s knee to force him down. It landed. Cody crumbled too at the pain. Now that would bruise. Obi-Wan panicked at having Cody suddenly so close during the spar and extended his elbow. Cody cursed as it hit his nose head on.

He felt the blood trickle before the sharp pain turned into a steady throb. When he wiped at it with his sleeve and looked up, Obi-Wan clutched at his nose too, eyes shut.

“I’d say this confirms it,” Cody said, some of the words warbled as more blood leaked down his throat. It felt disgusting.

Obi-Wan groaned. “Quite.” He stood up and helped Cody up too. “We need tissues.”

“Hm,” Cody hummed, holding his sleeve to his nose now. “Think the medbay might be better.”

Obi-Wan frowned, worriedly now. “The medbay it is. Though I can’t imagine the medics will be happy to see you again so soon.”

“I’m a pleasure to be around.”

“Oh, of that I have no doubt.”

.

They gave the sparring another go. Just like before, every stronger hit was felt by them both. They didn’t go too far trying it out, not intent on actually hurting each other.

Before they could properly test how long the other one would feel the phantom pain, Obi-Wan had managed to straddle Cody and pin him down against the sparring mat. At the sight of him—flushed, hair mussed, and panting—a sharp spike of arousal flashed through Cody. He couldn’t help it.

Obi-Wan immediately released his hands, eyes widening, his mouth falling slightly open. Cody promptly remembered that it wasn’t just pain they shared and that Obi-Wan felt far more from him.

Cody didn’t acknowledge it out loud and Obi-Wan blushed through the remainder of the sparring session. It ended fast, Obi-Wan was too flustered to focus and Cody full of love and adoration at seeing him like that.

The mix of those particular emotions emitting from Cody probably proved a little too much for Obi-Wan.

.

The war didn’t wait for them to figure out their new bond. New intel arrived, a new campaign. They got busy. And soon, both Cody and Obi-Wan were out on the battlefield again, surrounded by their troops and the Separatists’ droid army on the other side.

Cody wasn’t afraid of his return to the fight. He saw death every day and another close call with it had no effect on his determination. He had been made for this. He understood all the risks.

He saw death every day. From up close as he fought out there, and from a distance whenever he filed death reports for his fallen brothers.

It was happening again. All around him, his brothers fell as they desperately fought against the droids. Outnumbered one to five, as long as no more enemy back-up arrived.

Their battalion fought on two fronts, one commanded by Cody. Most of their men were here, fighting the enemy head on. A smaller unit of about fifty men was attempting to get to the Separatist leader hiding behind their droid army in hopes of disabling them all. Obi-Wan led that particular charge.

In the last comm they’d shared, Obi-Wan’s unit had progressed far enough to identify the Sep general, and Obi-Wan was about to engage. Cody had to cut the comm transmission short since he and his own men had their hands full here.

He fought, shooting droids, one after the other, perfect headshots. Three troopers, shinies by their still almost fully white armor, were caught in the middle. Cody focused on covering for them, yelling out further orders. He didn’t stop until they were behind cover. Two blaster shots had missed him—too close for comfort. He could almost feel the energy rushing past him, but it made no contact with his armor.

“Regroup! Get those cannons in here!” Cody yelled out. “And cover the le—”

Cody didn’t get to finish his orders as all of a sudden, a debilitating pain had him screaming and fully out of commission. His muscles spasmed, his vision whitened out.

Hands dragged him back and he lost his footing, still clinging to his weapon. He couldn’t focus on anything. The battlefield turned into a cacophony of sounds and pain. He could barely breathe.

He didn’t know how long it took for him to snap back to attention. People were yelling around him, more blaster shots flying over their heads. His weapon was gone from his hands. Things slowly came back into focus. Waxer’s worried helmet in front of him and another trooper asking him where he had been hit.

But he wasn’t. That was why his brothers were panicking around him. They had helped him behind cover, saw him fully vulnerable and lost to everything around him. But he wasn’t hurt. It was mind-boggling.

He could faintly feel the pain, unable to pinpoint it. He moved to sit up, and immediately two pairs of arms were holding him, steadying him. “I’m fine,” he croaked, his throat dry from all the screaming.

“Sir! You’re far from fine. You just dropped in the middle of a fight,” Waxer shouted in his ear.

Cody cringed from the volume. They had taken his helmet off. But truly, nothing was wrong with him. He stood up despite their protests. One of the shinies he had helped before gave him his helmet back. Cody put it on. “It’s the general. I need to get to him.” He didn’t wait for their response and pushed past them.

He staggered.

“You should sit back down, sir,” Waxer said, after he caught his elbow before Cody could fall face first into the dirt.

The droids still advanced on them and it looked like Cody wouldn’t be going anywhere. If the phantom pain worsened, he wouldn’t be able to defend himself. Their bond had become a real problem.

Instead, he stayed out of the droids’ blaster range and commed Obi-Wan. No response. Cody refused to panic and held on to his many coping strategies. If Obi-Wan was down, Cody would be the highest-ranking commanding officer.

He switched on the open channel between all their troops. “Commander Cody speaking. Get a location on the General.”

A minute later, he got his answer. “The General’s been shot. Current location unknown.”

“Find him!” he yelled into the comlink.

He couldn’t abandon this front, no matter how worried he was about Obi-Wan. His men needed him here—he could see that now, after the shock had passed. The war effort needed him here.

The cannons arrived, as did their back-up. Fifteen minutes later, the droids were retreating and Cody was certain that his men had this covered. He still didn’t count it as a win, knowing how fast the tides could turn out here, but he trusted his soldiers and their skills.

He formed a squad of five and they made their way to Obi-Wan’s last location.

The General was alive, of that Cody was sure. He could feel bursts of pain all over his body at random intervals. Obi-Wan fought somebody. Sometimes the pain turned excruciating again as Obi-Wan’s injuries were aggravated during his fight.

And every time, it hit Cody with another wave of intense pain. Cody’s small squad encountered droids as well. His brothers tried to help him, but they didn’t understand what was going on with him and Cody couldn’t predict when the pain would hit next.

One minute he was okay, then the next he nearly fainted in agony. His opponents wasted no time and took advantage. By the time they got to Obi-Wan’s last location, Cody himself was quite battered and hurting everywhere. The droids had no qualms with tossing him around as soon as he spaced out.

He couldn’t afford to be influenced like this on a battlefield. The whole thing was a shit show.

Obi-Wan managed to confine the Sep general and made contact, sounding rather worse for wear, but alive and conscious.

Turned out he and his men had gotten caught in an explosion. He had lost his lightsaber as well. Injured from the blast and with no way to deflect blaster shots, one had hit him in the arm. He had needed cover and ended up separated from his unit, but near the Sep leader and had decided to go after them on his own. The area had had comm transmissions blocked. Because of course.

Obi-Wan had accomplished his mission, but Cody felt his hair growing greyer by the minute as he listened to him recount everything. They had their beds next to each other in the medbay so he didn’t have to go far for a battle report.

.

Their back-up had come from Anakin and his 501st. Obi-Wan was certain that the campaign would progress just fine with Anakin and Ahsoka helming it. Cody agreed, knowing that Rex would also be the one reigning their plans in. Or possibly enabling them, one could never tell with them. The 501st ran things very differently, but they were just as effective.

They left Anakin and the Republic’s military in command of the 212th and Cody and Obi-Wan travelled alone to Coruscant and then straight to the Jedi Temple.

Their bond had become too problematic to ignore. It was not some wholesome thing where they could feel each other’s emotions, no matter how much they both wished for that.

And both of them were mature enough to admit that they needed help. From people older and far more experienced in these things.

Under different circumstances, the pain sharing could have been a good thing. If Cody knew whenever Obi-Wan was in danger or hurt, it could be an advantage. But like this, during the war they were both fighting, it turned into a major hindrance.

.

Cody sat on the low plush chair, his back straight since there was nothing to lean on, but it was still rather comfortable. Master Windu and Master Yoda sat on a chair each, Yoda with his legs crossed, Windu with one leg underneath him.

Obi-Wan paced the room as Cody explained everything to them in a rather concise and clinical manner. All the facts they had gathered. Recollections of the medics and the troopers who had witnessed everything, and then their own experiences.

The room was lit warmly, all orange glow. It didn’t match the heaviness of their conversation.

Obi-Wan had to jump in here and there to further explain aspects of the Force connected to their experience that Cody couldn’t quite get right. To their credit, Mace and Yoda listened patiently. The Jedi community was happy to help. Always. They had been accepted with open arms and both senior Jedi Masters had dropped whatever they had been doing.

Which probably wasn’t something they’d done lightly. Yoda dealt with the logistics of the war more than the battles, and Mace had his own battalion to lead, not to mention the fact that they ran the Order together.

And yet neither hesitated. Cody and Obi-Wan wouldn’t leave the 212th in the middle of a campaign without a damn good reason.

They hadn’t told anybody about their bond. But it wasn’t a secret either. Anakin probably knew something, and then Ahsoka too because she always figured everything out. Rex had been worried about Cody, but he didn’t want to put this on him in the middle of the war. Rex had enough burdens of his own to carry.

The medics suspected something was amiss, but Obi-Wan hadn’t been too forthcoming, not going over more than was necessary for them to know, and at the time Cody had woken up in the medbay, he hadn’t known so he couldn’t have told them.

“Why haven’t you mentioned this yet?” Mace asked. It had been weeks since then.

“We must have forgotten to put it into our reports,” Obi-Wan said slyly.

Mace didn’t buy it. “Conveniently.”

“At that time, it wasn’t relevant to the mission and the war effort,” Cody said with more reason.

Obi-Wan nodded and sat down next to Cody on the round chair. “Now, it is a problem. A rather significant one.”

Yoda went on describing all the bonds he had seen or had in the past. It was quite the number. None of them quite like what Cody and Obi-Wan had. They only had theories.

An unprecedented situation, it seemed. Much like an army of clones such as Cody.

“I am worried about you two,” Mace said, brows furrowed.

Cody didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know Mace nor Yoda all that well.

Yoda nodded, sharing that concern. “With time, fade, it might. Or feel it forever, you could.”

Ever pragmatic, Mace had another thing to say, his face blank. “There’s one more option we have not considered. For obvious reasons.” He looked at Obi-Wan as he said it.

Cody had no idea what that meant. “What option?”

All three of them were uncomfortable, the dislike clear on their faces.

“You know the cuffs we have prepared for Count Dooku?” Obi-Wan asked. Cody nodded. “They aren’t the only thing capable of suppressing the Force. Pills can be made to achieve the same effect. A more permanent one, however.”

Cody blanched. “That’s horrible. I won’t put you through that.” He knew how much the Force and being a Jedi meant to Obi-Wan. “Not even for this.”

Obi-Wan smiled ruefully and patted Cody’s forearm, his affection clear in his actions. Cody didn’t need a Force bond to tell him that.

Mace nodded to himself. “Glad to hear that’s still not an option, then.”

“A horrible invention indeed, it is. Inhumane. Unnatural it is, cutting out something so essential as the Force. Especially for a Jedi,” Yoda said.

With nothing more to tell them, Mace advised them to go see a mind healer and then another healer from the Temple, used to Force shenanigans and such.

Obi-Wan was perfectly fine even after giving Cody his energy. Cody had no traces of Force sensitivity in him. They would have found that in his midi-chlorian count, but they didn’t.

The mind healer could see their bond, but it was not something that could be broken. It ran so deep that she couldn’t even tell them where it could be broken. Not like a shallow one could. She hadn’t seen anything like it before—Cody didn’t like how many times he had heard that today.

It had been forged under extreme conditions. Life threatening, but also emotionally extreme. Breaking it might take the same level of intensity, she had said. Then she had emphasized that she wasn’t sure about that. Breaking it would be dangerous for them both, possibly fatal.

Simply put, the result of their impromptu Coruscant trip was that they would have to learn to live with their bond.

On the flight back, Cody left Obi-Wan to pilot and retreated to the back of the shuttle. Obi-Wan could feel his emotions now. Cody lied to himself, hoping that the short distance would do something to lighten the load.

He was feeling quite a number of things.

How couldn’t he? He had become a hindrance to Obi-Wan. Had been told there was nothing he could do about it. For the rest of their lives. Obi-Wan could feel his pain and emotions too. The onslaught of information and feelings must be terrible for him. The focus he would have to maintain constantly… Obi-Wan might be better than most at handling it, having trained with the Force and how to block all that input from a young age. But still.

All because of Cody.

He was the one holding Obi-Wan back. A master negotiator, a capable warrior, a respected member of his community. A man and a general everyone loved upon meeting him. Charming and dependable. A steady presence in Cody’s life. And he had cost him.

They had spent years having each other’s back, and this was the opposite.

Obi-Wan left him to his thoughts. He didn’t push. When they landed in the hangar bay aboard the Negotiator, Obi-Wan offered to walk him to his room, but Cody declined. Obi-Wan never pushed. Some things Cody had to come to terms with on his own first.

Like inadvertently hurting and limiting the life of the one man Cody had fallen in love with, despite the war and constant death around them.

.

They still had to do their jobs. They were a general and a marshal commander respectively. They couldn’t abandon the fight no matter their personal ailments. It was too big. Much bigger than either of them. Millions were dying and suffering throughout the galaxy.

They created new strategies. They fought less, planned more. Tried to stay safe and took fewer risks. But it wasn’t a permanent solution. They couldn’t keep it up for long. The war needed soldiers and they were both too good to be left in the strategy room. Especially a Jedi Master.

It didn’t feel right, staying behind. Guilt gripped him every time Cody had to send his men out without joining them. He couldn’t do it.

His hopes for the future had taken on a darker shade too. Whatever promise he and Obi-Wan had made each other, for after the war, Obi-Wan would still be a Jedi Master, a warrior in his own right. Cody would be in his way.

But Force-dammit, he and Obi-Wan had something good. Something special—and not that cursed bond. Something special even before that. Cody recognized that and he didn’t want to lose it. Not after everything he had sacrificed for the war, for the Republic.

Cody loved Obi-Wan. He didn’t have to say it. And whatever was going on in their world, he knew that Obi-Wan loved him too.

They had always been able to talk about anything and Cody refused for that to change now.

In the end, it only took him two days after their visit to Coruscant to seek Obi-Wan out.

He thought Obi-Wan would be easy to find, but Obi-Wan wasn’t in his office. Weird, since it was barely afternoon. Obi-Wan was holed up in there most nights too. A clone trooper on patrol told Cody that Obi-Wan had left about an hour ago.

If not in his office, then he would be either training or meditating, or maybe he had remembered to have dinner for once. Cody checked the mess hall, then the training rooms. He cursed the one time he forgot his comlink in his room, when he actually needed it. Obi-Wan was nowhere to be found.

He headed for Obi-Wan’s private quarters next. The time had progressed. Obi-Wan might actually be sleeping. Or meditating.

Cody got to his door and hesitated. He should leave him to it. But then again, this weighed on him heavily and Obi-Wan must feel it all. He had given him space and time and waited till Cody was ready to talk about it.

The door slid open before he could press the chime. Of course Obi-Wan would sense him on the other side, hesitating like an idiot.

Obi-Wan stood in the middle of the room, facing him, his expression unreadable. “Come in, Cody.”

He did. The door closed. The light in the room was dimmed, a contrast to the bright hallways outside. Cody relaxed. Obi-Wan always had that effect on him.

They finally talked. No more secrets, no more repressed feelings. Cody got it all out. All his guilt, his pain, his fears. How sorry he was.

“I caused all of this,” he said, voice shaky. He had shed a couple of tears, unable to stop. Not when Obi-Wan had listened, with the softest, most open expression. “I hate the thought of holding you back.” He stepped closer as if to make the point clearer.

Obi-Wan dropped all pretense of any professionalism left between them and stepped closer, too. He drew Cody into his arms.

Cody didn’t fight the burn in his eyes anymore and let the tears flow without shame. Obi-Wan’s robe grew damp. “I’m ruining your robe,” Cody muttered. Instead of feeling the humor in it, he cried more, choking on a sob. Obi-Wan’s life and now his robe too. What else would Cody take from him?

Obi-Wan didn’t pull back. “I’ve been in your guts before. This is nothing.”

Cody barked out a short laugh. “Kark, Obi-Wan.”

The arms around him tightened. “I don’t regret it and I never will.” Obi-Wan kissed his temple, right over Cody’s scar. “Because you are alive, Cody, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Cody straightened a little, pulled back and stared into Obi-Wan’s clear blue eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do, my dear. I wish you could see it.” Obi-Wan cupped his cheeks. Those beautiful eyes, watering too.

“You have a duty, as a Jedi.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “My duty is my duty. My love for you does not change that. They do not have to be mutually exclusive.”

“I’m not worth more than anybody else. And I would not want you to ever sacrifice the needs of the many for the needs of one,” Cody pressed. He didn’t really know why.

“I know the decision that would be required of me. And I know how to handle it when the time comes. And I also know you would do the same. You understand my duty and I understand yours.”

At the end of the day, they understood each other perfectly. Cody loved Obi-Wan with everything that belonged to him, all his features, his passions, his work, his flaws, his duty too. Cody would never take anything away. It had made Obi-Wan the incredible man he was today.

Cody would never ask him to sacrifice such an important part of himself for him.

Obi-Wan smiled at him and wiped the remaining tear tracks on Cody’s cheeks away. Cody raised one hand to Obi-Wan’s neck and pressed their foreheads together. He closed his eyes a millisecond after Obi-Wan.

They stayed like that, just breathing in. Letting their words settle in, their feelings out in the open.

“We will be alright,” Obi-Wan whispered.

Cody kissed him then. A soft and short thing. A peck, really. Then he brought Obi-Wan into another hug. “We will be alright,” he affirmed.

They would be alright now. They would learn how to handle their bond. And after the war, they would be alright too.