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Chapter Text

Jeon Jungkook stood in front of the main entrance to his old high school, drinking banana milk through a straw, and he kept wondering how he had ended up in this situation in the first place.

First of all, he felt uneasy. Same as three years ago when he stood in the exact same place, waiting for a new school year to start. At that time everything was almost brand new: people, teachers, the atmosphere, all of it. He didn't know what to expect as a freshman and the feeling was identical now when he was already a senior. So many things could have changed in the past three years. Returning was not easy, but Jungkook hoped hardly anyone could remember his month-long episode at this school. So somehow he tried not to care too much.

He reached out deeper into the pocket of his tight black jeans just to make sure the keys to his motorcycle were still there. Knowing how sloppy he really was, the idea of losing or leaving them somewhere unattended was not such an irrational fear of his. A rather plausible scenario actually.

When the sigh of relief escaped his mouth, he finally focused on the small bottle of banana milk he was clutching in his hand. There was not a single day he would start without a similar drink. This one, however, had already warmed up a little bit—today's morning was extremely hot. But Jungkook didn't mind. He loved banana milk in every form possible.

However, what made him look away from his beloved milk was an enormous welcoming poster. Bright blue letter almost screamed at him and he couldn't stop thinking of why he was even here. What am I doing?

He was used to moving a lot, living with suitcases, and not being attached to people. For as long as he could remember, he changed his place of residence every time his mother changed her partner. He had many stepfathers, some better, some worse. But he could never in any way compare them to the role of a father. Simply because he had never known his real one.

He had lived here—in Austin—the longest, five beautiful years since he turned ten. It was the place he felt best. He had many good memories: graduating from elementary school with flying colors, making valuable friendships, and kissing for the first time. He spent the best days of his childhood here. And he was going to spend some more, but as soon as he started high school, his mother took him to Atlanta, to a new partner. And that's when everything in his life began to fall apart. So much so that now he returned to Austin alone.

JK wanted to finish high school. Despite everything that happened in his life, he didn't want to be a regular loser who didn't even finish his education. He knew he couldn't last any day longer in Atlanta, so he decided to go back to the only place he felt at home. Even though he still had some doubts while looking at the ugly building of his old school, he knew it was the only right decision. He didn't even want to think about what might have happened if he had chosen otherwise.

Just one more year, he thought. One more year of this bullshit and you'll be free.

Jungkook finally snapped out of his thoughts when two girls passed by, heading towards the entrance. They both watched him closely, and neither was overly discreet about that. Jungkook smiled at them, which only provoked their shy smiles and noticeable blushes on their cheeks. This peculiar behavior reminded him of a couple of nights in Atlanta, during which he had no special regrets about living there. And if he could get hold of similar memories here in his beloved place, everything would be even better. And if these two students, really pretty students, were only a foreshadowing of what he might discover at school, then he couldn't complain.

Well, maybe this year won't be that bad. He smirked trying to tame his raging thoughts.

Jungkook liked girls. They had soft kissable lips and always smelled like freshly picked flowers. An unusual warmth emanated from them, and their arms somehow always soothed his distracting thoughts. And their bodies. Girls had spectacular bodies.

But Jungkook also liked boys. Their lips were rougher and he liked exploring every single spot on them. They were more feisty, more fierce, and he was not the type to shy away from the real challenge. Boys never gave up, they didn't want to give in so easily, and neither did he. Kissing guys was a struggle for dominance, and Jungkook hated losing.

He couldn't decide whose he preferred more: boys' or girls' lips. Each had their unique taste and feel, making it even harder to decide. That's why he kept exploring. To find the final answer. But somewhere deep inside, Jungkook also hoped to find lips that would make him stop looking for more challenges. Though he didn't believe they existed at all.

"Gukkie!"

Jungkook heard a name he hasn't been called for a long time. It only meant he was about to see one of his childhood best friends. The one he hasn't seen for so long. He smiled, turning around to a blond-haired boy approaching him with a big smile glued to his lips.

"Jimin-ssi. Long time no see, huh?"

Jungkook held out his hand in front of him to greet his friend, but Jimin completely ignored it. He immediately threw himself at the raven-haired boy and squeezed him as hard as he could. Jungkook was surprised by a similar gesture, so it took a moment for him to complete the hug with his free hand. He missed Jimin too. He began to regret that he had texted him so little in the last three years. After all, they were almost inseparable before he left. And now? It was as if they didn't know each other at all.

The hug was much longer than Jungkook expected, and it started to be uncomfortable as well. In particular, when in the corner of his eye he saw other students watching the peculiar couple. That's why Jugkook pulled away and almost immediately felt an unpleasant twinge in his right forearm. Only after a moment did he realize that it was Jimin who had hit him ruthlessly.

"Oh, man. We haven't seen each other for almost three years and all you want to give me is a dry handshake? Pathetic," Jimin snorted but immediately smiled at his friend.

Jungkook also smiled. Perhaps under the circumstances, the hug was a more suitable greeting. After three years, though, that was what Jimin deserved.

"Sorry, you know I've never been a huggable person." Jungkook tried to justify his awkward behavior.

"Yeah, right." Jimin rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. He knew his friend was lying. After all, everyone liked to be hugged from time to time.

Jimin decided to let go, though he was very tempted to add a few unpleasant words. Instead, he focused on Jungkook's appearance. He remembered him very differently, and he almost didn't recognize him. The boy has changed beyond recognition. He was taller, had a sporty build, and wider shoulders, and though he wore an oversized black T-shirt, Jimin knew there must be some magnificent views underneath. Jungkook has always liked sports, so it wouldn't surprise him too much.

He was also not surprised by the tattoos on Jungkook's right arm. Last time they weren't here, but Jimin knew how much his friend cared about having them. Plus, they fit him perfectly. Like the pierced ears and that rebel earring in his lip. The whole thing was a unique view materialized in the form of Jeon Jungkook. Hell, he looked really good. Jimin knew the school would not leave him alone. Not when he was going to walk down its halls looking like this.

Our teenage days are really over, huh? Jimin thought.

"Oh gosh. Look at you. You've changed," Jimin couldn't help but comment.

"Don't we all do?" Jungkook shrugged.

"Nah, Gukkie. Not like that." Jimin shook his head thoughtfully. Then suddenly, as if he remembered something, he added, "Should I still call you that? Gukkie, I mean. You know, you're no longer a cute little brat I remember so well."

Jungkook smiled at the ridiculous concern of his friend. He didn't want to admit it, but he was really glad to hear this nickname. He hadn't heard it for such a long time and didn't even know how badly he needed to hear it just now. However, JK did not want to look soft, or worse, emotional. He had to be tough, so he shrugged and added almost emotionless.

"You can call me however you like. You know I don't care about such things."

"True. So it's still Gukkie then."

Jimin gave him a broad smile. He was proud of himself to be able to use that term again. Even if Jungkook was no longer his Gukkie—a sweet, slightly rebellious child—but an almost grown man. Jimin resented JK for not speaking to him for three years, only to suddenly text him a few days ago. He wanted to scold him so badly, preferably right at the first meeting. But when he saw how much his old friend had changed, he knew that something unexpected must have happened in his life. Jimin could see it in the boys' black eyes, which didn't have the same twinkle as they used to.

"That looks amazing." Jimin pointed to Jungkook's right arm. "Still remember how you fabricated your mother's signature just to get the first one on your arm. And how you tried to hide it so badly underneath your T-shirt. And how you got scolded when she eventually found out."

"Scolded?" Jungkook raised his voice. That was an understatement of the century. "I couldn't sit on my ass for at least one week."

Jimin smiled at his friend's reaction. They remembered that day quite differently. Nevertheless, it was good to recall those days when Jungkook was hiding in his house from his mother's endless anger. Jimin would soothe him with banana milk and freshly cut red apples. They played video games for a while and then fell asleep on the couch. Those were the good times.

"So what has changed?" Jimin asked. It was supposed to be a tattoo question, but Jungkook knew it was more to that than this.

"My new stepdad was more open. He let me do whatever I liked so I wouldn't mind him dating my mum."

The truth was, the more Jungkook was away from home in Atlanta, the more his stepfather enjoyed it. He did not wander around the apartment, he did not disturb them in their daily activities, or his work. Probably if he could, his stepfather would have paid him never to come home again and leave them alone. He didn't like Jungkook, likewise. It was a fight for the person they both loved most in the world—his mum. A fight that Jungkook unfortunately lost. Maybe that's why, when he turned eighteen, he left this artificial, ideal family and returned here. Maybe that's why it was easier to live alone.

"Oh," Jimin let out a quiet sigh. He was aware of Jungkook's family affairs but didn't want to get that deep, especially not during his first day back at home. And not without Jungkook's permission of course. That's why he let it go.

"But now I'm back," Jungkook said more happily, shooting Jimin a wide smile. "And you haven't changed at all, Jimin-ssi."

"Excuse me?!" Jimin couldn't believe the words he's just heard. "Are you blind or what?!"

Overreacting has always been Jimin's thing which is why his overly specific reaction didn't surprise Jungkook. Besides, he wanted to tease his friends a little, because in terms of looks he has changed a lot since the last time they saw each other three years ago. Maybe as much as Jungkook himself. First of all, he was blond and Jungkook did not expect this hair color would suit him so well. Jimin definitely tensed, although he still looked extremely cute. It was a weird mashup and JK believed Jimin was the only person in the world who could pull it off so perfectly. He remembered how girls always looked at his friend in middle high school, and if he was considered handsome back then, how was he going to describe him now? Jimin must have been extremely popular at school; he had to be with this look. If it weren't for the fact he was one of his best buddies, Jungkook would have considered asking him out.

"I'm Park Jimin for fuck's sake. One of the hottest if not the hottest boy in school. Swaying girls and boys left and right, non-stop, all days and nights. If this is not enough for you," he pointed to his picture-perfect face, "then you should have seen my abs."

You should have seen mine, Jungkook thought but kept this remark to himself. He didn't want to turn this conversation into a dick-measuring contest. Though he was sure Jimin would actually like the idea.

"You know, I shouldn't be talking to you in the first place," Jimin continued sarcastically. "Since I'm the mister popular here and you're a mere newby, practically no one. Do you have the slightest idea how badly am I jeopardizing my social status for you right now?"

Jungkook knew that Jimin was only acting up, although, he was convinced that the title of mister popular belonged to the blond. He had all the features of someone liked in the whole school. He was handsome, charismatic, and always had such a magnetic aura. People just wanted to spend time with him.

"That's what I'm talking about." Jungkook nodded. "You haven't changed at all. Park Jimin, you are, were, and always will be a sassy little bitch."

Jimin grinned at his friend's words. Only then did he understand what he meant when he said he hadn't changed.

"And I wouldn't like to be anybody else," Jimin responded with confidence. He liked the title given to him. Well, maybe except for the word little. He has always been touchy about it.

As soon as Jungkook met Jimin, not a day passed without hearing some sarcastic, lewd, or really bad joke from him. The boy never shied away from saying what he thought directly, even if it was not very tactful at many times. Jungkook liked this approach to life, although he was rather careful about making similar comments. Well, he got Jimin for that. And when such remarks might have been considered rude or even creepy coming from others, they have never been from Jimin. He just had such a gift and that was why JK liked him so much. In a way, he was an extrovert to his introversion. If something was happening at school, Jimin was the first to gossip, and when you could see that the two students were getting along, he went straight to matchmaking. He just had to be at the center of attention. That was all him.

"Actually, since the beginning of this conversation I've been holding back at least three either bad or over-sexualized jokes about that lip piercing of yours," said Jimin grinning like a three-year-old child. "You should be grateful I have some self-control."

That was precisely what Jungkook had on his mind just a second ago. Jimin hasn't changed at all and for that Jungook was thankful. He needed some positivity in his life right now.

"And as much as it hurts me to say that, I wasn't joking earlier. My school status is very much endangered," Jimin said with a concerned look on his face and only when Jungkook raised his eyebrow curious of the mysterious remark, he continued, "You're back now, looking like this and I will have to share the spotlight."

Jungkook was aware of how others perceived him. He knew he was attractive and he wasn't going to hide it. Maybe he didn't flaunt it the way Jimin did, but he knew just as well how to use it. However, being popular has never been his main goal. He didn't want to stand out too much, even though that was what had happened involuntarily. He had a unique appearance and, whether he wanted it or not, he knew that he would end up on the lips of the entire school.

"Hey, you know it has never been my intention," he felt a strong need to apologize to Jimin, though he didn't know why. "And not my fault."

"Yeah, right." Jimin waved his hand dismissively. "It's not your fault that you showed up here looking like a bad boy from every horny Wattpad writer's wet dream."

Jungkook opened his mouth to protest but was too amazed by Jimin's comment to do so. He finally gave up on the original plan and simply commented, "It's an overly specific comparison."

"But I'm right though." Jimin shrugged. Jungkook looked exactly like that. Also, the fact that he came here on his motorcycle? Come on. What else was needed?

As to confirm his words, three blonde girls passed them by casting some shy looks toward the raven-haired boy. They were giggling and blushing while pointing thingers at Jungkook. Jimin noticed it immediately because that was the way other students reacted toward him. Or at least used to react.

"Oh, man. It's the second time it has happened to me," said Jimin, pretty much frustrated with the whole situation. He didn't mind sharing the spotlight, especially not with Jungkook, but he couldn't help it. He needed to be at the center of attention and he already missed this feeling of being completely adored.

"Second time?" Jungkook was curious.

"With God's blessing let it be the last time. My ego won't survive another."

"Yeah, yeah. But why the second time?" Jungkook pushed once more. He wanted to know.

But Jimin also knew it was a longer story. The one that can't be told without preparation and material evidence. And in this case, it was pretty much needed. He also knew that he wouldn't be able to explain everything to JK before the first period, so he simply suggested, "Come on. I'll tell you everything you have to know about this school during lunch, okay?"

Jungkook had no choice but to agree. He discreetly checked the time on the phone. Five minutes remained, and he didn't even know where the class he needed to find was. Therefore, he nodded, agreeing to his friend's suggestion.

"Try not to get in trouble before then," Jimin warned him.

"Why would I do that?"

"I know you Gukkie. If sass is my second name, yours is trouble," he said with a little grin on his face. Some things never changed.

And just like that, they both headed toward the entrance. Jungkook already had that strange feeling in his chest that whatever was waiting for him inside was one of the most important decisions in his life. However, he didn't know yet, whether it was a good or bad one.

Chapter Text

Jungkook rushed into the classroom. The last thing he wanted was to be at the center of attention, which would for sure happen if he turned out late. Fortunately, the class was still busy, chatting and enjoying the last minutes before the first period. Jungkook got to the first free seat at the back of the class almost unnoticed, stealing only a few curious glances from some of the girls. He simply ignored them and took his seat leaning back to rest his head on the cold wall.

Only then had he checked out the guy who was sitting beside him. Well, sitting was not the best term actually. A white-haired boy with a black cap was lying on the desk and taking a last-minute nap before the classes would start. Jungkook liked his oversized hoodie with a black and white logo on the back. He wouldn't mind having one just like that.

Bell rang and almost immediately the teacher showed up in the classroom. The last time he had math here it was taught by an old and really annoying lady. Fortunately this time the guy seemed a little more likable. Or at least Jungkook hoped so.

The teacher started checking the attendance list. Apparently, he was also new, so he asked students to raise their hands so he could get used to all the faces. Jungkook thought it was a good opportunity for him to learn the names of the rest of the students as well. Not that he was overly interested in it, but maybe someone would get his attention. Therefore, his gaze moved between the teacher and subsequent students, nodding slightly as their name was read. JK tried to avoid the gaze of the rest of the class, but it did not escape him that they were all staring at him. Everyone except the sleeping boy.

"Min Yoongi?"

The guy beside Jungkook raised his hand slightly but wasn't bothered enough to raise his head as well. It looked like he didn't want to be disturbed and preferred to simply further enjoy his nap.

"Mr. Min, even though your hand seems charming, I would like to talk to you face to face," the teacher said firmly. "And please, remove your cap."

The white-haired boy growled and slapped his hand on the table. It made Jungkook flinch a little but he kept looking at his neighbor, curious about his next moves. The boy just shrugged, lazily leaned back, and folded his arms across his chest. He didn't bother enough to remove his cap and just shot one angry look toward the teacher. None of the words escaped his mouth, however, his facial expression spoke for itself. That was the most disgusted a person could ever be.

When the teacher gave up and focused on the next student, the boy muttered some not overtly family-friendly words under his nose. Only then had he noticed another boy sitting by his side. Just like that. Next to him. In the seat that has always been empty and for the right reasons. Nobody dared to share the same desk with him. Nobody could.

Mostly because people were afraid of Yoongi. He was a bully, that's true, but one with a specific moral compass. He bullied both losers and those with a respectful school status. He didn't care. If somebody pissed him off, he just acted on the spot, out of anger or ignorance. He liked fights and has never lost one. It was good to have him on your side, though he rarely picked a side.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asked with his low voice giving Jungkook a murderous glare. However, before the raven-haired boy could reply, he immediately added, "Wait. I don't actually care about that. Just get out of here."

He waved his hand dismissively hoping that Jungkook would understand the meaning of this gesture. But JK sat still, pretty much surprised by the boy's peculiar approach. He hadn't expected to be treated so harshly and for no good reason to be honest. He did nothing wrong. He just sat here. Little did he know it was enough to offend Yoongi.

And when Jungkook was sure he was at no fault here, he decided to take a closer look at the boy. Apparently, he must have found one of the most interesting personas at this school, and therefore he had no intention of letting go. He has dealt with similar people more than once, although, in his previous school, no one was brave enough to speak to him like that. Rather, it was Jungkook who was too intimidating to start with. Therefore, the boy's comments did not affect him at all.

Still, Jungkook had to come up with a witty comeback. The one which would make the hoodied boy remember him for much longer. Preferably till the end of the school year. JK had one idea in his mind but it was a rather risky one. He was aware of the possible consequences but decided to try it anyway. He never gave up without a fight.

"You know what?" he started, catching Yoongi's attention. "I have permission to sit here. Wanna see?"

The question surprised Yoongi, who simply narrowed his eyes. He hadn't expected a similar answer, and though, on any other occasion, he would have told Jungkook to get lost once again, this time his curiosity took over. And he didn't quite know why. Maybe because of the boy's rebellious appearance that Yoongi liked right away, or maybe because he reacted differently to everyone else. He couldn't describe it but he decided to give him a chance.

Jungkook already knew he got the full attention of the white-haired boy and had to hold back a big smile. He knew the boy wouldn't like what he was about to do, but there was no turning back. 

JK reached into his jeans with a right hand, pretending to be looking for something inside. Only after a while, with one quick gesture, he removed his hand from the pocket and simply flipped the boy off.

Jungkook had the impression that in that one moment, time stopped and the whole class froze. It couldn't be good, but he was proud of his decision. And he really, really wanted to smirk, but in the end, he chose an indifferent, maybe even disgusted look to convey his message even better.

It took Yoongi a moment to understand what had actually happened. Not only some random loser had the nerve to sit next to him, in a forbidden place, but also was brave enough to talk to him in such an open manner. Yoongi did not know if he was more furious with the way he was treated or more impressed by the boy's gesture. Nothing surprised him in such a way for a long time, nobody impressed him for a long time; simply because it was really hard to do.

Yoongi smirked and he didn't do that often.

"Yoongi," he introduced himself and held out his hand. The raven-haired boy had passed his vibe check and Yoongi had to know his name.

"Jungkook."

The name of the boy sounded somehow familiar, that's why Yoongi asked, "Ah, wait. Aren't you that new-old kid Park couldn't shut about?"

"You know Jimin-ssi?" Jungkook was genuinely surprised when he heard his friend's surname. 

Yoongi was the last person he thought Jimin would be friends with. And yet, this is how it was. With Jimin's charisma, he could be friends with anybody but sometimes he made really bad decisions. Jungkook was living proof of that and he hoped this time Jimin knew what he was doing.

"We're on speaking terms. And I'm not on speaking terms with many people."

That Jungkook had no problems believing in.

"What made me eligible then?" he asked, curious about the reason why Yoongi didn't kill him after that brave gesture of his.

"You flipped me off." He shrugged as if it was the most obvious answer ever. "It means you're either extremely stupid or whatever you hide there must be massive." Yoongi pointed his finger at Jungkook's crotch and suddenly the weird remark made sense.

"You really must be Jimin's friend if you actually like the idea of a dick-measuring contest."

Yoongi leaned over the desk and looked at Jungkook as seriously as he could, then added in an even more serious, almost deadly tone, "I never participate in competitions I can't win."

Jungkook snorted but smiled at the boy's one-of-a-kind remark. Yoongi also allowed himself a cocky smile, after which he victoriously leaned back in his chair and leaned against the wall.

Gosh, they really are friends. Aren't they? Jungkook thought.

"Mr. Jeon," the teacher suddenly said, knocking Jungkook out of his thoughts. "I see you're not familiar with the school's policy, aren't you?"

Jungkook gave him a confused look. He didn't know what that comment was referring to, though he had a hunch.

"That thing on your arm should be covered. At least try to hide it during classes. I recommend investing in long-sleeved shirts."

Of course, it had to be about tattoos. In Atlanta, no one had a problem with it, or maybe he went to a school that simply didn't care. It was clearly different here since the word tattoo almost did not pass through the teacher's mouth. To call it a thing was a great insult to the artist who spent hours working on this masterpiece. And for Jungkook, maybe it wasn't the most enjoyable thing he'd ever done-it cost him a lot of pain-but at that time he felt most secure in his tattoo artist's chair.

Apparently, the teacher had no respect for artists. And this note about long-sleeved shirts? Pathetic. After all, summer was ending, and they were in Austin. Jungkook had no intention of suffocating himself.

"But it's hot outside."

"Yet, it didn't stop you from wearing all black today."

Jungkook already had three different, equally offensive remarks on the tip of his tongue, and he had to hold back just not to shoot them toward the man right away. He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth as hard as he could. He couldn't get into trouble the very first day.

"What an asshat," he whispered to Yoongi.

"You tell me," Yoongi snorted and shook his head in disgust. "He's new. I hate new people."

He looked at Jungkook meaningfully. He wasn't after him, though maybe partially he was. He never liked changes and once he got used to something he wanted to keep it like that forever. His great principle was that something shouldn't be changed if it wasn't broken. In general, everything was better for him back in the old days. Nowadays sucked.

"He probably wants to show off. Our previous teacher wouldn't mind you having tattoos. She was an old, annoying hag, and she bored me to death with all these formulas and numbers. But she knew her ways with people and sometimes spoke about her cats. She was okay."

Jungkook had the feeling that calling somebody okay was a rarity in Yoongi's mouth. But since he too remembered the old lady and hated the new mathematician, JK could easily talk shit about him in great company.

"I wonder what he will say when he sees me in a sleeveless basketball jersey," Jungkook whispered with a playful smirk on his lips.

"You're going for the tryouts?" Yoongi asked curiously.

Jungkook nodded. Sports was one of the things he really enjoyed. It could be either simple running, gym, or boxing session—he liked it all. Sport made it possible for him to turn off his thinking for a moment and organize his thoughts, and recently he definitely preferred to think less. Everything was easier like that. Easier to understand, and easier to survive. Maybe that's why he got so interested in so many sports in Atlanta. Since he could not take care of his interior, he could at least take care of the exterior.

But somehow out of many sports, he liked playing basketball the most. Even if sometimes it was just him, the ball, and the basketball court, practicing shoots for hours. He started playing when he was a child, he went to his first training here and it quickly turned into a kind of passion. Jungkook was never a team player, but he made an exception for basketball. He played for the team in all his previous schools, so he wanted to try it here as well. Technically try it here once again, as he also went for the tryouts three years ago.

"You play as well?" Jungkook asked Yoongi, as he seemed interested in his basketball career.

"Nah. Me and sports? Please, "Yoongi snorted and rolled his eyes. "Sports means I have to move. And I hate moving without a clear purpose."

Jungkook couldn't help but smile. Yoongi looked like somebody who could sleep through all his life. No wonder he had no love for sports.

"But I'm really fond of our basketball team, and of basketball overall," Yoongi added suddenly with a serious expression on his face. "So if you fuck it up, I'll make your life a lot more miserable than it already is."

The white-haired boy was dead serious which only made Jungkook respect him a little bit more. It was the kind of motivation he needed before the tryouts and even though it was a rather unusual way to support his efforts JK nodded with a promise to give his best. 

He had a weird feeling that even though Yoongi seemed reluctant with sports at first, his somehow deep connection with basketball was clearly obvious. He had to ask Jimin about it and this whole Yoongi guy as well.

"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing," Jugnkook smiled cockishly, assuring Yoongi that he could count on him when it comes to basketball.

The boy looked at him closely once more, as if he was trying to evaluate every word he just heard. And he was quite scary while doing so. Fortunately, just a moment later, Yoongi simply nodded and looked away, but JK still got that weird feeling of being watched. He shook his head quickly and decided to at least try to focus on math.

He hoped Yoongi would do the same and not ask any further questions. Because the truth was, except for basketball, Jungkook had no clue what he was doing.

Chapter Text

Classes had ended and Jungkook couldn't have been more pissed off after one hour in his old school. The new teacher seemed to have a goal to make the math classes a living hell. Jungkook has probably never met a similarly annoying jerk, and he's dealt with lots of them in his life. Yoongi was of a similar opinion because he has been muttering not overly flattering remarks toward the man for the whole period. At one point the teacher threatened that if he won't calm down, he will move him to the first row. And that was too much for Yoongi.

"It's not a kindergarten anymore, bro. Grow up," Yoongi said casually. "But wait. Actually, I would like to see you try to make me move. Go on."

This performance earned him a visit to the principal office; not his first and probably not his last one. Fortunately, it also bought some time for the rest of the students. The teacher was so furious that he could not wait any minute longer and immediately went with Yoongi to the office on the second floor. When they returned fifteen minutes later the teacher was still fuming and Yoongi had a rather indifferent, maybe even bored expression, but it was too late to continue the topic.

Jungkook packed his things and swung his backpack over his shoulder. He left the room and subconsciously headed in the same direction as Yoongi. He didn't know why he was doing it, but he didn't really know where to go, where his locker or the next classroom was. So he was just rambling around. He decided to try to find everything by himself and only then call Jimin. Although he assumed he'd probably reach for the phone sooner than later.

"Why are you following me?" Yoongi growled and stopped at once when he noticed Jungkook mimicking his steps. "Go away. We're not friends."

"But we're on speaking terms, right?"

"Don't make me reconsider my choices, Jeon."

Jungkook smirked. He wasn't going to hold Yoongi's sleeve all the time; the boy himself wouldn't allow it and that wasn't what JK wanted anyway. However, he sensed that it was better to stick with Yoongi than be against him, which is why these speaking terms were so important in their case.

"What's happening here?"

Jimin suddenly appeared between them ready to settle their disputes. When he saw Yoongi with Jungkook at the end of the corridor, he knew something was up, so he immediately quickened his pace. Knowing both boys quite well, such a meeting only meant there would be some problems. He didn't want Jungkook to stumble upon such odd behavior after an hour at the old-new school, and he completely forgot that Yoongi attended the same math class as JK.

Jungkook nodded his head greeting his friend again. Subconsciously, he was glad that Jimin found them himself. At least he didn't have to call.

"Nothing." Jungkook shrugged and added with a smirk on his lips, "Just a friendly conversation."

"We're not friends," Yoongi spat back immediately, not happy with Jungkook's word choice. 

Somehow seeing him angry like that with just one simple word made JK want to mess with Yoongi even more. He got braver with Jimin by his side but the truth is he would go for it even without his friend's supervision. He was curious about the outcome.

"Will we be friends if I flip you off one more time?" he asked nonchalantly.

And it wasn't the best idea. Yoongi took one quick step forward, clearly encouraged to finish this argument not only verbally. Jungkook tensed up ready for whatever was about to come and it really could have been everything judging from Yoongi's clenched fists. 

Fortunately, Jimin saw what was about to happen and stopped it before it could escalate to a not-so-friendly fight. He took a step forward standing exactly in the middle and held out his hands in front of him to separate the boys, or to stop the fight if necessary.

"Let's stop it here," Jimin said firmly, shooting warning looks toward both of the boys. Only when he was sure nothing was going to happen, he turned toward the white-haired boy. "Yoongi, do better."

Yoongi furrowed his brows and twisted his lips into a grimace. He didn't like the remark but decided not to comment on it just because it was coming from Jimin. So he just snorted and folded his arms across his chest, suggesting he wouldn't try to misbehave any further. This calmed Jimin, who this time turned the other way, giving Jungkook a half-surprised, half-annoyed look.

"Gukkie? You flipped him off?"

"He made me." Jungkook shrugged.

"I told you not to get in trouble!"

"I didn't." Jungkook raised his hands as if he wanted to show he was innocent. And even though he didn't have to justify himself, he added, "I just gained a friend in an unorthodox way."

He sent another sly smile toward both of the boys but this time neither of their reactions was interesting enough for him. Too bad, he wanted to have more fun with it.

Jimin didn't have the strength to deal with his friend anymore, so he just rolled his eyes. He had to change the subject as soon as possible before Yoongi could change his mind as well and lose control, even in his presence. And he knew it was possible.

"And what's that?" Jimin pointed toward the yellow note Yoongi held in his left hand. It could have meant only one thing. "Another detention? Really?"

"What? This stupid ass teacher was annoying as fuck so I had to give him a piece of my mind." Such explanations weren't enough for Jimin, who glared at Yoongi unconvinced. It made him look like a mother who doesn't buy her son's flimsy excuses. "If you don't believe me, just ask him."

Yoongi looked at Jungkook, who was the only one present able to confirm his words. The new maths teacher was indeed annoying as fuck. JK wasn't about to lie about that.

"He told me to cover my tattoos."

"No way!" Jimin almost screamed in surprise, and when Jungkook nodded, he blurted out, "What a jerk."

"Told you," Yoongi muttered.

Jungkook's eyes darted between a pair of boys so different, yet somehow so similar. He didn't remember Yoongi from three years ago. He was here too short, but how could he possibly forget about such a specific person? Especially when the boy was such a bully. On the other hand, freshmen rarely had such respectable status, maybe that's where the memory gap came from.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go," Yoongi said suddenly.

"Where?" Jimin asked, visibly confused by his friend's choice.

"Home. I'm tired and this whole situation pissed me off. I need a good nap."

"What about detention? And classes?"

"Stop being my mum, Park. And if you're so worried about detention, you can go there instead of me." Yoongi shoved a yellow note into Jimin's hand and added, "See ya."

Yoongi pushed through the boys and simply walked toward the exit. Jimin wanted to protest again and raised his hand but in vain. All that was left for both of them to do was to watch Yoongi heading toward the door. Only then did Jungkook notice that the boy didn't even have a backpack with him. It was as if he was planning to skip the next classes all along.

Jungkook stared at the departing Yoongi's back and wondered if this white-haired boy was somehow his replacement. When he left Jimin here, the blond had to find new friends or at least new closest friends. If Yoongi was the one Jimin had chosen, he couldn't be more surprised. Nothing about it suited him. JK thought that since Jimin bragged about his high status in school and how popular he was, he would hang out with people of the same caliber. Maybe with the guys from the team or with someone who at least had a similar status and vibe. Yoongi wasn't one of those people.

"I know with your charisma you can be friends with everyone but—"

"But what?"

Jimin didn't let him finish and immediately gave Jungkook a sharp look. Likewise, something in his voice sounded more aggressive than usual. Jungkook was surprised by Jimin's rebellious attitude and couldn't quite give a reason for such behavior. It's true, they haven't seen each other in a long time, and people change, but not that much. Jungkook decided to ask Jimin about this strange relationship with the school bully one more time. It would seem that such two people cannot be friends, yet here they were.

"Excuse me?"

Jungkook felt a little tap on his shoulder and he immediately turned around only to stand face-to-face with a blonde girl. To say she was stunning was a huge understatement. She had long, straight hair that almost reached her waist, neatly trimmed but delicately curled fringe that ended perfectly in front of her large black eyes, where the light reflected somehow clearer.

She wore a school cheerleading outfit; a surprisingly short blue skirt only accentuated her slim but girlish figure. And although his gaze ran away in that direction, he finally stopped at the girl's charming smile. She had really pink and very, very, very kissable lips.

"It's even better," she muttered to herself when she saw Jungkook's face. Clearing her throat, she innocently tucked one of her long blond strands behind her ear and flashed him a wide smile. "I'll make it quick. I'm Lisa. You're hot. I'm hot. You should call me."

She held out her hand, holding a small piece of paper with her number written with a pink gel pen. Jungkook was too stunned to respond. Stunned both with girls' looks and incredible self-esteem. He was taken by surprise, but apparently, it was a really nice surprise. Jungkook liked straightforward people, and the blonde was one of them for sure. That's why he gave in.

"Okay?" Jungkook carefully took the paper and smiled, though he still didn't quite know what was going on.

"Splendid," the girl said cheerfully and her smile got even wider. Then it looked as if she was waiting for something. She kept looking at Jungkook but finally locked her gaze on Jimin and added sweetly, "What? Won't you even introduce us, Baby J?"

Jimin immediately perked up and looked at Jungkook, who was trying hard not to laugh at the sudden mention of his friend with such a strange nickname.

"Ah, yes, right." Jimini nodded and pointed toward his friend. "It's... Jeon Jungkook. We used to go to school together."

It was the simplest introduction he could have done and the most efficient as well. That was pretty much it because Jimin really didn't know what else to add about Jungkook. They haven't been talking for such a long time, so many things could have changed from back when they were almost inseparable. It was hard to guess which things were still true about his friends, and which weren't. That is why Jimin decided not to add anything else and let the girl discover it herself. Maybe he should try as well.

Fortunately, Jungkook only nodded, confirming the blond's words, which stopped the girl from asking any further questions.

"Jungkook," she repeated. "Jungkook. Kook. Cookie. Cookie. So sweet! I like cookies. All the types of cookies."

Her voice was almost seductive, so calm and sweet when she spoke his name. Jungkook somehow liked that, actually each time somebody said his name like that, he really enjoyed it. But he also knew how dangerous a weapon it really was, and that is why he gathered all his strength to stay composed. It wasn't the time for letting his guard down. Not yet at least.

"So anyway, just call me," Lisa smiled once again, winked at Jungkook, and with a small wave and hair flip she turned around just to join other girls who were waiting for her close to the lockers.

Jungkook watched her go because she was something to look at, but as soon as the girl disappeared around the corner, he had to do something much more interesting. He immediately looked at Jimin and couldn't help but smile broadly.

"Bab—"

"Shut it," Jimin hissed before Jungkook could finish. Such a reaction only ensured him that something interesting was going on here.

"I need to know that story."

Jimin immediately shook his head and then let out a loud and long breath. He wished Jungkook would never know this story.

The blond's gaze was fixed on the floor as if all the memories suddenly came back to him. He paused for a moment, standing completely still, which was quite an interesting phenomenon. Hardly ever did Jungkook see Jimin in such a state, that is why he had to know the story. It must have been one of those unforgettable ones. There was no doubt of that; the boy's reaction spoke for itself.

"We all make mistakes, don't we?" Jimin finally sighed, hoping Jungkook wouldn't dwell on it anymore. Or at least not now.

"That's absolutely true, Baby J."

Jungkook couldn't help himself and laughed loudly only to be elbowed in the ribs by Jimin just a second later. No wonder his friend didn't like the nickname. It was absurd, to say the least. Nevertheless, he had to find out what had happened to make the girl call him that. He sensed, however, that he must get Jimin well drunk first to find out the truth. Perhaps not only in this case.

"But for real," Jimin added seriously. "I know this whole Lisa package looks tempting but I wouldn't advise calling her."

That remark made Jungkook even more curious. He slightly frowned and grabbed his hips. "Oh. And why is that?"

He didn't know all the people at school yet. Well, in fact, he knew maybe a few, including Jimin, Yoongi, and all the people he had math with. He didn't know who was popular, who to hang out with or not, or what the rules of this school truly were. And there were always some rules to follow. His previous school had its rules as well, although he only cared about them during the first year. After that, he didn't care at all.

He planned not to care about the rules here as well, except that he didn't want to make problems on the first day; not for his sake, but more for Jimin's. His friend was always crazy about the whole popularity contest, social status, and what people were talking about him. And since Jimin cared so much about it, JK also needed to know a few things, just not to completely embarrass himself and his friend.

"She's the lead cheerleader and one of the most popular girls in school, if not the most popular one. She hangs out only with people who are worthy of it but you can usually spot her with guys from the basketball team."

"Then we should get acquainted if I'm joining the team soon, right?" Jungkook smirked.

"Yes, but... ugh. She's nice, really nice, but she's also a player. All four of them are."

"Four?" JK was surprised by the sudden mention of other girls. "What's that? Another version of Mean Girls?"

Jimin smiled at the comparison. Actually, Jungkook wasn't that far from the truth. He couldn't have thought of a better comparison himself.

"You can say that. The thing is this school is all about gossip. You'll talk to one of them for more than ten minutes, or you get spotted somewhere together and suddenly the whole school thinks you're dating. As if a casual conversation between two people, male and female, was forbidden. That's ridiculous."

That didn't sound good to Jungkook. Such a remark coming from Jimin, the gossip prince, meant that the issue was worse than he had expected. Something in his almost angry voice made Jungkook think he must have been involved in some sort of drama regarding similar behavior. Then the blond boy's attitude was somehow justified.

"So if you don't want to be the topic of each gossip, then stay away from them." Jimin shrugged and casually leaned on the locker.

The atmosphere got a little bit cold. Jungkook's eyes darted between Jimin and the piece of paper with the number Lisa had left him. He'd only been in the school for less than two hours and already so much has happened. He still had plenty of time to sort it all out and decide what he really should do. Either way, he wanted to do everything his way and without being influenced by others' opinions. Let them talk. He has never cared. Maybe that's why he liked Yoongi's attitude so much. Too bad the white-haired boy was already gone.

JK bit his lip and stuffed the paper into his back pocket. It could wait.

"Will you help me find my locker?" he asked Jimin who looked up only after a while. "I won't be going around with this big backpack all day."

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if this monster will fit in." Jimin was truly surprised by the size of Jungkook's backpack. "What do you even have there?"

Jungkook didn't understand the question. For him, it was a normal-sized backpack with only essentials inside. Nothing out of the ordinary. That is why he sent his friend a sterned look. It only made Jimin smile.

"Nevermind." The blonde patted his back. "Let's go."

Jimin led the way and they were both on the way to cruise through the hallways in search of Jungkook's locker. And JK was glad he had a blond boy by his side, as he felt the whole school was watching his particular, new persona. He knew it would be difficult the first day, but he couldn't care less. The most important thing was that he had his best friend back.

Chapter Text

Jungkook finished three more classes and happily decided it was high time for lunch. He was bored with each following class and all the suspicious looks from students. He didn't like being the center of attention, at least not for that long. Unfortunately, he also knew he had to get used to it. With Jimin as a friend, he couldn't hide in the shadows. The boy was literally a light. And not only because of the bright blond hair.

That's why JK decided not to go to the canteen for lunch, where this whole circus would start again. About him, about who sits where, who has which status, who can sit with whom, who can't, and in how many ways he can offend everyone when he mixes up the tables. Well, he would probably sit with Jimin, who would then calmly explain to him the rules governing this school, but JK was completely unwilling to do so. He wanted some peace, and he wasn't hungry anyway.

So he ended up at the school's patio laying down on the freshly cut grass. He put his hands under his head and let his face be pampered by the rays of the midday sun. It was nice, and it was probably just the moment of peace he needed since the beginning of this tiring day. He even managed to doze off for a while. He was so relaxed.

Suddenly the sun stopped pleasantly warming his face. Something or rather someone cast a shadow over him and Jungkook only hoped it wasn't another cheerleader or a new fan. He'd had enough social interaction for today. Fearfully, he opened his left eye only to see Jimin towering above him.

"You missed lunch," he said, taking place on the ground next to the boy.

"I wasn't really hungry," Jungkook said dismissively.

"Too bad. They had banana milk today."

This remark made Jungkook instantly straighten up and sit down on the grass. He couldn't have missed such an opportunity.

"You must be joking, right?"

"I am not," Jimin responded firmly but smiled quickly afterward. "But I'm also your best friend, remember?"

Jimin threw a small plastic bottle at Jungkook. Only after a while did he realize it was his beloved banana milk. He ran his finger over the colorful label and gave Jimin a wide smile. That was really nice of him. And the fact that he still remembered what JK liked. It was such a small gesture yet so incredibly endearing.

"Thanks."

Jungkook stuck a straw into the milk and took the first sip of his beloved drink. He immediately felt better than before; he loved banana milk that much.

And as he sipped his delicious drink, he finally looked around. Many of the students, just like him, were spread out on the grass, some sitting at tables, some on benches. It was rather quiet, which surprised him a bit as he had expected to hear more conversations, basically more noise around him. A lot of students have just arrived after lunch, like Jimin, to take advantage of the last minutes of the break in the pleasant sun. It wasn't surprising at all; the weather was amazing today.

He heard the cheerful laughter of two girls who were eagerly talking sited on the grass nearby. They were excited about something and pointed to one of the benches. Jungkook involuntarily followed the hand of one of the girls only to stop his gaze on the boy sitting on the bench. He had his legs crossed and he held a notebook in which he was jotting down or drawing things every now and then.

It would be nothing out of the ordinary, but as Jungkook looked around the rest of the patio, he noticed that most of the crowd was staring at the boy. Not only the girls next to him but also those nearby the lockers and benches across the patio. Even Jimin seemed to throw fleeting glances in that direction. It all seemed strange, to say the least.

Jungkook was quite surprised that this guy was the focus of most people on the patio, so he asked Jimin right away.

"Okay, that's weird. What's the deal here? Who's that?"

Jimin just smirked. How many times had he heard that question before? So many people wanted to know the identity of the mysterious boy and he wasn't surprised when Jungkook turned out to be the next one.

"The reason I had to share the spotlight in the first place," Jimin sighed.

Jungkook frowned at the blonde's comment. He remembered Jimin's remark in the morning when he mentioned that after he showed up at school, he would be forced to share the spotlight for the second time. Then he wondered why the second time and didn't get the answer he probably got just now. And if this was the person who knocked Jimin off the pedestal, then there must have been something extraordinary about him. That's why Jungkook allowed himself to look at the boy on the bench again to determine what it exactly was.

There was no need to look far. The one even the shortest glance at the boy on the bench was enough to notice his striking good looks. He was the person to turn after when they pass on the sidewalk, the person to stare at for a little bit too long while sipping coffee on the other side of the coffee shop, the person to hope to get off at the same bus stop with. The one that is extremely hard to look away from.

The boy had black, slightly curly hair; most of which was neatly combed back and only a few rebellious strands were falling over his forehead and eyes. They seemed rather disturbing, yet the boy haven't tucked them behind his ear and continued to write something in his notebook completely unbothered. Somehow this only added to the boy's charm and mysterious persona. He had slightly rounded cheeks, yet a sharp jawline. His smooth skin reflected calm sunlight which mixed with its tone perfectly. It was as if he had sun freckles. From the distance, he looked like the sculpture done by Rafael himself.

The way he sat, the way he slowly moved his hand over the notebook, even the way some of his locks moved with the slightest blow of the wind, all of his actions were so dignified. He absorbed every light around him as if that place was made only for him. As it was his spotlight. As people were not able to look in any other direction-only at the boy.

There was a reason for that. He was the most beautiful human alive Jungkook had ever seen.

"Now I know why," JK admitted and forced himself to look back at Jimin.

"No, no, no. You know nothing, Gukkie," Jimin cut in immediately. Bench boy deserved a proper introduction which wasn't possible with only one look. Even though the image was quite pleasing. "This guy is not just looks. We don't call him a walking perfection without a reason."

"A walking perfection?" Jungkook repeated hesitantly. He had never heard anybody being called like that.

"Mhm." Jimin nodded. "He's the best student, a class president, valedictorian, and teachers' favorite. He passes everything with flying colors, has never failed an exam, and has perfect attendance. He won two state competitions in the history of art and he's now preparing for the national finals. He doesn't speak much but when he does it's always with great wit. People just love to listen to him, not only because of that deep and seductive voice. Ahhh, what a package."

The blonde had to stop to catch his breath. Boy himself was breathtaking, yet the talk about him. "Also! I heard he can play piano and is fluent in French."

Jungkook looked at his friend, judging if that was the end of his statement or if he had anything else to add. Every time he thought there was nothing more to be said about the mysterious boy, Jimin proved him otherwise. It was insane to have so many good features. No wonder he was called a walking perfection.

"That's a lot," Jungkook added, impressed by all that stuff. He couldn't handle one thing properly yet this guy managed to master all things possible. Including looks. He must have won a lottery in his previous life or something.

"It is a lot," Jimin repeated. "But if perfection had a name, it would be Kim Taehyung."

"Kim Taehyung," Jungkook muttered trying to remember the boy's name. Somehow even though he heard it for the first time, it suited him perfectly.

Jungkook quickly shook his head. It was high time to wake up from this fairy tale. It all sounded good, too good. Like something that should have never happened. Jungkook didn't believe in miracles and he knew this wasn't one of them either. People couldn't be perfect.

"Nobody's perfect. And I bet he's neither."

He wanted to bring Jimin down to earth and he even felt a bit uneasy about doing it in a rather brutal way. Especially when JK knew how often Jimin dreamt like that. But somehow his remark made Jimin even more invested in this topic. His eyes lit up and Jungkook knew it wasn't the end of this whole Kim Taehyung story.

"I know, right? But apparently, he has flaws. One flaw to be exact."

Jimin stopped, building a suspense Jungkook didn't need. He knew it was bullshit from the start. Nobody had just one flaw.

"He does not date."

"He does not what?"

"Date. He's single."

"And that's a flaw?" Jungkook almost choked on banana milk and though it would have been an ideal death for him, he had to live on to hear Jimin's explanation for that ridiculous comment of his.

"Oh, come on. I know it sounds stupid but he just turns down everybody. And trust me, many beautiful people have tried to date him yet everybody failed." Jimin spread his hands as if he didn't know the reason for that.

"He just wanders through corridors looking like that, being this whole boyfriend material, and you just know that you're not good enough to be his significant other, that no one is good enough. Ugh, it's killing me now."

"Killing you?"

"Yes. The thought nobody looks at me this way."

Jimin's whole confession was as unexpected as it was weird. This boy, whoever he was, couldn't have had that much of an influence on the people at school, especially not on his best friend. Caring so much about other people's lives instead of focusing on their own was completely not Jungkook's style, but as it turned out, very Jimin's style. Therefore, JK quickly wanted to talk the blond out of his strangely romantic approach to life. He couldn't value and compare his life to some guy with a notebook. No matter how handsome the guy with the notebook really was.

"Okay, I don't know who the fuck this guy is but I think you're exaggerating. Maybe he just doesn't want to have a girlfriend and that's it."

"Oh, please." Jimin rolled his eyes. "Guys our age just have to date. Don't tell me you're innocent because I won't believe that."

Jimin dug his finger into Jungkook's shoulder and though JK wanted to protest, he finally had to agree. He wasn't innocent at all. But it didn't mean others were as well.

"Then I don't know." JK tried to justify the boy's actions though he didn't really know why he was doing that. "Maybe he prefers boys?"

"Nah. I would have known that."

They heard another voice somewhere behind and both turned around just to see a slim, smiling silhouette towering above them.

"Hobi!" Jimin greeted his friend cheerfully.

"Jimin-ie, here you are. I was looking for you. But I guess you already have a companion."

The boy looked at him and Jungkook did the same just to see who their new companion was. His wide smile, which didn't seem to leave the boy's lips, immediately caught JK's eye. Good humor was glued to the boy's face and seemed to dance in his big eyes. It gave the boy a charm that he almost radiated with. A bit so that if Jungkook felt really bad a moment in the presence of the boy would be enough to recharge him with some positive energy.

The boy had wonderful slightly wavy brown hair that fell freely on either side of his oblong face. Its color matched his outfit perfectly. Jungkook had to admit that the boy was incredibly well-dressed, and looked like a style icon. Although he would never wear similar clothes in his life, he had to give this one to the boy-he knew his style so well. Jungkook wouldn't be surprised if in this red bag of his the boy hid a new issue of Vogue.

"Ay, so you must be Jungkook, right? An infamous homecoming bastard," Hobi said playfully and patted JK on the shoulder. "Man. Look at him. Jimin-ie, where did you hide such a snack?"

"Ah, he doesn't like to be called like that." Jimin shook his head before Hobi could continue. "Besides, I thought you didn't like candy."

"Snack and candy are two different things, though it's hard to tell in this case. But if I made a mistake, then I'm utmostly sorry," he apologized to Jungkook, bowing slightly. However, the smirk on his lips suggested that he had something more on his mind. And he voiced it confidently only a second after, "But, just to let you know. You're a snack."

"Hobi!"

Jimin tried to stop his friend and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. It was supposed to be only a warning for him to stop playing around but the blond pulled a little too hard which only made Hobi lose his balance and fall to the ground. It was quite an eventful fall, and quite a painful one as well, judging from the boy's expression.

They immediately started fighting. Jimin because he wanted to calm Hobi's previous flirty attitude and Hobi because of the damage Jimin did to his precious body. The way they were doing it, how they exchanged tiny punches, looked so domestic that Jungkook couldn't help but smile. Somehow he got the feeling that he left Jimin in good hands for these three years.

"You must be friends for real, huh?" Jungkook couldn't stop himself from noticing. And maybe he was slightly, but only slightly, jealous that Jimin didn't fight like that with him anymore.

"Ugh, sometimes I regret it with all of my heart," Hobi adjusted his rumpled shirt sleeves and sat steadily on the grass. He gave Jimin a meaningful look, but apart from the momentary annoyance, JK could also feel a sincere warmth.

"Yeah, I used to regret it sometimes as well. But in the end, it's really worth it." Jungkook smiled at his old friend, who got slightly shy with that remark, and only after that, he looked at the other boy again. "Just to make it official. I'm Jungkook."

The brown-haired boy shook his hand. "I'm Hoseok. But you can call me Hobi."

JK already knew that but it was nice to make everything official. Just as Jungkook thought when Hobi introduced himself, he also smiled widely, sending him some positive vibes he didn't know he needed. And nobody would have guessed Hobi was in pain just a second ago. Ah, his attitude and charisma were beyond comparison.

"So now, when we have everything sorted out, tell me why our school's prince charming is on your lips, huh?" Hobi asked, sitting more comfortably between the boys. Only this reminded them of their previous conversation, the one they had before Hobi cut in.

"Well, I'm introducing Gukkie to schools' famous personas," Jimin explained. "Starting from myself, of course, Taehyung was the second one to cover."

Jungkook smiled. Jimin's self-confidence and sassiness would never be not impressive to him.

"Understandable then."

Hobi nodded and again locked his gaze on the mysterious boy who sat on the bench. Both guys decided to focus only on the boy which was quite hard for Jungkook to understand. He looked between them and the boy they admired from afar and tried to understand what it was all about. Why couldn't all these people look away from the boy? So much so that they couldn't even finish the normal conversation they were having a second ago.

"Why are you all so whipped for him?" JK scoffed.

He couldn't wait any longer as he began to feel uneasy with the constant attention the other brunette was getting. And with this question, Jimin and Hobi finally focused on him again, though Jungkook could see a slight offense in Hoseok's expression.

"Oh boy. I think you have to have your eyes checked."

"They're fine," JK protested immediately and tried to explain himself seeing their expectant gaze. "He's handsome, I get it. He's skilled and talented in every way, I get it. He seems like a whole package, I get it. But something must be off... like... like... Who even wears a white formal shirt to school, huh?"

Jungkook knew it was a low blow, a nonsense argument, however, he had to find something that was off about the boy. Even if it was his style. He had never seen a student being dressed so formally to the school. Not even teachers wore such expensive shirts. It didn't make sense.

"First of all, it's a beige shirt, honey. You really have to have your eyes checked," Hobi shook his head in disbelief but finally added more gently. "And secondly it's just Kim Taehyung. Our school's biggest mystery and the greatest treasure. Mystery because nobody's ever been close enough to solve this guy and treasure because I feel like I'm constantly in the museum watching the finest work of art on Earth."

Somehow Hoseok's words fit perfectly with what really was happening around the boy. And as Jungkook reconsidered each of these words, he allowed himself one last glance towards the boy on the bench. It looked like an ancient relic, the most beautiful specimen in a museum to which the longest queues formed. But history was never black and white. There had to be some element of gray.

The three of them stared at the boy for a while, but Jungkook was the first to wake up from this trance again. Apparently, everyone at school had to do it at least once a day. Nothing could really surprise Jungkook, but he couldn't get used to it either. It was the first time he encountered such a situation. There were no such personalities at his previous school.

On the one hand, he wanted to drop the subject, because how much can you talk about one person, but on the other hand, he still wanted to know something more. He had to find an element of normality in the seemingly mystical figure, the legend of the school corridors. Something that would make him a human and not a myth.

But before he got to that, he wanted to know one more thing. Something that Jimin said sounded weird and he had to confirm it with a second source.

"Do you also feel bad about him being single?" Jungkook asked, this time looking directly at Hobi.

The boy took his time to realize it was him who had to answer but in the end, he did that with a huge smirk. He knew exactly why he was asked such a question.

"Nah, I'm okay. It's just Jimin who is a hopeless romantic. Or simply stupid."

"Hey-"

"But the one-flaw rule is true," Hobi continued more seriously, ignoring Jimin's protests. "I tried to ask him out once but of course, I failed. The thing is I've never thought I could feel so good after being turned down. His voice is so soothing and he knows his way with words. In his mouth rejection sounded almost like a compliment."

And that itself was already strange and interesting for Jungkook. The fact that the boy was extremely talented in communication skills was already conveyed to him by Jimin. Similarly, if he rejected a lot of people, then he must have mastered such talk to perfection by now. All this combined with assertiveness and exceptional charisma, and above-average appearance made for a really painless rejection. Everything was falling into a neat equation, though Jungkook didn't know how to interpret its solution.

On the other hand, the boy couldn't reject absolutely everyone. If he wasn't looking for any romantic relationship, he must have had some normal relationships. Friends, acquaintances, anyone. He couldn't always be alone.

"Does he have any other close friends, people he likes in a non-romantic way?" Jungkook asked and immediately added sarcastically, "Because apparently romance is all that really matters here."

Jimin and Hobi looked at each other as if they were trying to mutually find the answer to that question. But judging from their confused and unconvinced looks, the boy's company must have been an issue. In the end, it was Jimin who decided to speak first.

"Not really. Sometimes he speaks more with that one junior, I think his name was Bogum?" He wasn't sure, but when Hoseok nodded confirming the other boy's name, Jimin continued, "They attend the same drawing classes or so I believe."

"Yes, yes," Hoseok confirmed. "But I don't believe they're close anyway. Same for the drama club. You can see him talking to these guys from time to time. Maybe that is why they are not bullied so much."

Ah yes, the infamous problem of schools' drama club, which somehow always loses to sports. Jungkook didn't know why it always happened; it was the same in Atlanta. He didn't know what kind of damage to all these schools was done by students who were a little more interested in the arts and obsessed with memorizing all songs and witty comebacks from Glee, to be treated like that. Okay, maybe he met a few specific people, but that's it. He did not understand this eternal battle.

"It's not like he won't talk to you," Jimin continued. "He does it quite often, but the conversations are always short. He can be quite intimidating especially from up close. People tend to freak out. It's just... ugh, it's almost like you don't want to disturb his aura."

That was the weirdest thing out of all Jungkook has heard today. So he decided that it would be best to end this conversation before he learns something even more absurd. Just having such a persona at school was something completely new to him, let alone some strange theories.

But Jungkook had to admit, though, that this whole school's legend interested him. He promised himself that if a reasonable opportunity came, he would at least try to talk to the boy. He wanted to know what all the fuss was about. JK figured that if they ran into each other during one of the classes, he might take advantage of it. But probably not under any other circumstances. That would be too much. He guessed he would get every little gossip about the boy from Jimin or Hobi anyway.

Jungkook sighed. He had to get used to the new school, and something was telling him it wouldn't be as easy as he previously thought. Because how do you get used to sharing the same space with a walking perfection?

Chapter Text

The first week of school passed very quickly. Jungkook got used to a certain routine and the fact that he wholeheartedly hated the math teacher. Every time he was about to enter his class, JK would grimace and curse profusely. He also made sure the right sleeve of his shirt was pulled tight to hide his tattoo. The man was very strict about it and Jungkook wondered at what point he would make him wear a glove to cover the tattoos on his hand as well.

The only thing that got him through those classes was Yoongi, who hated math just as much as Jungkook did. When they sat in the last row, they talked shit about the hated man, and usually, these conversations had to be heavily censored. The white-haired boy was more outgoing than before, but Jungkook didn't really see him outside class. He disappeared without a word the moment math classes ended as if they didn't know each other at all. When he asked Jimin about it, he said it was normal for Yoongi, so he wasn't about to dwell further.

One of the evenings he also invited Jimin to his place. They had a fun night playing video games until dawn and reminiscing about the good old days. The smile was glued to Jungkook's lips all this time and he couldn't remember the last time he was so happy. So far everything was going his way. Everything started to make sense again. Finally.

The following Monday was really hot and Jungkook didn't feel like going to school at all. He grimaced as he put books from his backpack into his locker, cursing over the number of classes he had scheduled for today. Especially the first one—math. He growled and shut his locker loudly only to find Lisa standing just behind it. He flinched a little, not expecting to see her, and tried to remain calm when she smiled at him coquettishly.

"Cookie. It's been a week and you still haven't called me," she pouted.

He completely forgot about a pink note he put into the pocket of his jeans last week. The one with the girl's phone number. He also forgot about the girl even though before he thought it was impossible to do so. Somehow everything that happened in the first week made him too busy to socialize even more. Even so, despite Jimin's warning, he would like to try this type of socialization.

"Ah... right... just..." he tried to find words but failed. It was hard to find an excuse while the girl was staring at him like that. He was busted the moment he opened his mouth.

"Jimin told you not to?" she asked suddenly, but before he could protest, even if it was true, Lisa continued, "Sometimes you have to listen to your heart instead. Or something else when it comes to these things."

She dropped her gaze but this time Jungkook wasn't brave enough to follow. He knew perfectly well what she had on her mind but it wasn't the best place for such conversations. Again the straightforwardness of the blonde was pretty much impressive, maybe even attractive, but he had to be extremely careful with such behavior and decisions, pushing all his weird temptations and desires aside.

In the end, Jimin might have been right about her. However, Jungkook was a person who would rather learn from his own mistakes than follow others' warnings. And this time it was the same.

"I would like to but—"

"Say no more."

She shushed him by putting a finger to his mouth. He was surprised by such behavior which is why he subconsciously took a step back to escape the girl's hand. She followed immediately but this time she was holding a pink envelope in her left hand. When Jungkook didn't react or rather didn't notice the object, she almost shoved the paper inside his hand. Only then had he realized she wanted to give him something.

"What's that?" he asked, carefully studying the envelope.

"An invitation."

He glanced at the envelope once again, only to find his name written with pink ink on the top. Probably the same ink which was used to write her number on that little note he got last week. The whole thing looked childish for the almost grown-up woman and the lead cheerleader as well. That's why Jungkook decided to tease her a little.

"I thought such invitations were cool in primary school. You know you could have done it via Facebook, right?"

"Oh, please. They have never been uncool. Never. Besides, this one is special." She smiled widely and Jungkook already knew something was up. "It's my birthday party and one of the best parties you will ever attend. But it won't be unforgettable unless you show up. You simply have to come. Okay?"

She looked at him with great hope in her eyes, the kind that made it difficult for him to refuse in any way. He didn't think his presence would make a difference at this party. He didn't think his presence anywhere could have any meaningful impact.

"I think you give me too much credit. We don't even know each other." He shrugged.

"And that's what should be changed. Hopefully very soon."

She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. It was just an innocent gesture, and yet Jungkook didn't quite know how to feel about it. It was a bit awkward, but he didn't seem to mind. Also, he knew that in her mind Lisa had probably exaggerated the whole gesture a bit. And although JK knew exactly what she meant by saying that they should get to know each other better, he only smiled faintly.

The girl did the same, however, her smile was way wider than Jungkook's. Yet it didn't stop her from saying a sweet goodbye, after which she went looking for more people she had invitations for.

Jungkook took a deep breath. He hasn't expected such treatment at his new school. He was supposed to unlearn his old habits, and yet everything was against him. He needed to think it over and clear his mind.

He glanced briefly at his timetable. For the first time in his life, he was happy to have math as his next class. In this hellish place, he will surely forget about this meeting and the girl and simply focus on hating the subject and the teacher. It sounded like a plan, though never in his life have JK thought he'd be so willing to carry it out.

⊶⊷

As expected, math really tired him out, so during lunch break, he just had to throw himself on the grass and simply do nothing. He put his hands under his head and closed his eyes, hoping for a few minutes of peace, maybe a quick sleep in the pleasant, not completely hot sun. Unfortunately, it was only wishful thinking.

When his too-short-to-be nap on the grass was interrupted by a series of small nudges, Jungkook sighed and opened his eyes. This time, it wasn't just Jimin standing over him like he used to do during lunch breaks, but also Hoseok, who was watching him through rather large red sunglasses. It looked as if they had something to talk about and they were about to scold him. Something didn't seem right to him, so he frowned and got up to sit on the grass.

"What is it about?" he asked, curious about boys' behavior.

"Did you get one?" Jimin asked and both he and Hobi showed their pink envelopes at once.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and sighed, "Yep."

With a simple answer, he got back to lying on the grass hoping for no further questions but apparently, it wasn't the case. The boys sat on the ground next to him and immediately started talking about the next weekend's event.

"I wonder how many people will she really invite," Jimin voiced out his thoughts. "Knowing her it would be the pack of only the most important and popular ones. Well, as it should be. She has so many cool friends outside the school. Maybe there'll be someone famous? Ahh. I'm so excited to go. I need a proper party."

"I'm more concerned about the dress code," Hobi admitted. "I think I need to go shopping for that occasion."

"You don't need an occasion to go shopping."

"True. But this time at least I have an excuse."

"Wait. Is there a special dress code?" Jungkook finally joined the conversation.

The truth was he didn't even open the envelope to read what was inside. He was afraid he would find there something more than just an invitation, or invitation for a special afterparty only for him. Maybe that is why he left it in his locker.

"It was stated in the invitation," Jimin pointed out but when Jungkook still looked clueless he explained, "You should wear something either black or pink or both. But only these two colors are in the game. And right now I'm leaning more toward pink but I'm not sure."

"Oh god," Jungkook growled.

"You're the one talking." Jimin nudged his friend. "I bet at least eighty percent of your wardrobe consists of black clothes. So you don't have to worry at all."

Jungkook smirked. That was true. He didn't have to worry about his outfit but not because of the contents of his wardrobe but because he simply didn't give a damn about what he would look like at that party. He would probably wear something simple and comfortable. But one thing was for sure. It would definitely be black.

"Jimin, look," Hobi said suddenly and even Jungkook decided to steal the glance.

It turned out that Hoseok pointed to a place everybody already knew quite well. It was the bench where the legend of the school sat. This time, as always, Taehyung was sitting there and writing something in his notebook. But what was extraordinary enough to point the finger at was Lisa. The blonde stood exactly above the boy and waited for him to finally notice her. She didn't have to wait long, because the boy finally looked up from his notebook, and when he saw the blonde towering over him, he smiled faintly, closed the notebook, and put it beside him on the bench. The gesture seemed to indicate that he was giving her his full attention.

The girl, as she used to do, tucked her hair behind her ear and then confidently pulled out a pink envelope in front of her. She added a few words to which the boy quickly replied and took the envelope. He studied the material for a moment, carefully examining the edges of the envelope, then nodded his thanks and put it back in his bag. At the same time, he grabbed his notebook again and did not raise his head a second time. Lisa seemed to be waiting just for this but quickly gave up. She simply smiled to herself, threw something else towards the boy, and cheerfully walked towards her friends standing nearby.

"Ugh. It was so pretentious," Hobi couldn't hold back the particular remark and kept glaring at the blonde girl. The stare was so intense that somehow Jungkook found Hoseok's judging face quite scary.

"Pretentious? Why is that?" JK was surprised by the reaction of both guys. Jimin was no better with his almost disgusted look.

"She could have invited him anywhere in the school but she did it here, knowing perfectly well everybody will stare. She wanted to be in the center of attention and she succeeded."

The analysis of the girl's behavior was quite in-depth, which only provoked a curious glance from Jungkook. He sensed that this was another element of the school legend that he didn't know about yet. Partly he wanted to know, partly he didn't care. Eventually, however, he gave in and pointed to a bench in the center of the patio.

"Does he always sit there?"

This was the one conclusion that came to him spontaneously after a week of observation. Whenever he was lounging on the patio during his lunch break, the boy always sat in the same place and always got all the attention of the people gathered outside. Well, maybe not all the attention. After all, JK was always asleep.

"Yep." Jimin nodded. "Everybody here knows it's his spot and no one dared to sit there without his invitation. That's why she was standing."

It sounded weird, to say the least, but it made sense. Since Jimin claimed earlier that hardly anyone wanted to spoil his aura. Whatever that meant, guess that was it. And that remark about being quite intimidating. It reminded him of another person who was almost forbidden to sit around.

"So same as for Yoongi?"

Jimin opened his mouth to respond but suddenly stopped. He tilted his head as if that would help him absorb Jungkook's words, and only then did he wince slightly.

"Yes but actually no. No one, except you, sits with Yoongi because of fear. However, no one sits close to Taehyung because of respect."

"Respect?!" This word escaped JK's mouth before he could stop himself. "You have a weird value system here."

He added, but it seemed like the guys weren't listening to him anymore. They again started at the boy sitting on the bench, who had packed his notebook into a bag and began to examine the pink envelope. He opened it gently and got into the contents so as not to damage the precious paper in any way. He was reading the invitation with a rather blank expression, so Jungkook decided to ask.

"Will he go?"

"Why not?" Hobi shrugged. "He's not antisocial. I've seen him at most parties, drinking, talking with people, and smiling even. It's just... he always suddenly disappears and nobody knows why."

"Maybe he's tired of your bullshit," Jungkook couldn't stop himself and muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He had no intention of repeating himself. He just knew boys would misinterpret it again. 

But the truth was that if the whole school was staring at the boy all the time, and almost everyone wanted to talk to him for a while, it was no wonder that the boy suddenly disappeared somewhere during the parties. Jungkook would probably go crazy himself if people didn't leave him alone. It was hard for him to even imagine what the boy had to go through in such situations.

The bench boy was indeed an enigma. With his looks and popularity, he could do absolutely everything at this school: stack people in corners, preside over popular ones and date anyone he liked. Even if he had to change girls every Monday, it would take weeks to be with everyone willing to date him. He had this status, a legendary status, with which he could do absolutely everything he really wanted, and yet he chose to just sit on this bench and focus on his studies. It was almost as if he wasn't a typical teenager.

It was weird. Not surprisingly, people kept staring at the boy sitting in the center. Maybe they were trying to understand what was really going on with him? Or maybe they just admired such a beautiful view?

And at this moment JK remembered Hoseok's words. The boy was truly the greatest treasure and the greatest mystery of this school. There was no better summary.

That's why Jungkook was curious about how the boy would behave at the party where he couldn't sit in the living room with a notebook and pretend that things were just happening around him. He had to be socially involved in some way, even if it was just the casual conversations Jimin mentioned before. And that was the only thing that really interested Jungkook.

Maybe this party won't be so bad after all.

Chapter Text

The party was already going when Jungkook stepped into the backyard of one of the luxurious houses in the suburbs. Never in his life had he been invited to such a place, that's why he kept looking around astonished by every little detail of a huge villa. It looked so expensive, starting from enormous pool and flower arrangements to decorations prepared especially for the party—of course all strictly in colors of black and pink. 

There were a lot of balloons and garlands, and Jungkook felt like there were tons of glitter floating in the air. He hasn't spent even a minute at this party, and he could already feel the glitter sticking to his skin and mastering his hair. He'd have to wash it off for at least a week. What a great sacrifice for some partying.

JK started looking around to catch a familiar face. To say there were a lot of people was to say nothing. It felt like Lisa sent invitations to half of the city and all of them decided to show up. The backyard was full and there was almost nowhere to move. Some people were chilling by the pool or in the pool, some were standing over the table with snacks, and still, so many others were just having fun to the rhythm of the club music. 

And in this crowd, Jungkook desperately needed to find Jimin.

The blond texted him not so long ago; he had to be here somewhere, and so was Hobi. Jungkook didn't know others very well, but he recognized some faces from the school. Most of the guests wore impressive costumes, especially the girls, a majority of which chose the pinkest dresses in the world, and not a single one of them was of a decent length. Not that Jungkook was particularly counting on that or looking in that direction, but he was just a boy after all.

He only brushed away some hair from his forehead—it has been bothering him lately. His black waves started to be too long for Jungkook's liking, but Jimin categorically forbade him to cut them. So much so that he threatened to take away all the scissors from his apartment. He sounded serious so JK preferred not to test him and simply followed his advice.

Tonight Jungkook could finally put on a regular T-shirt without worrying whether the sleeve was long enough to cover his tattoos. They were not at school anymore and non of the shitty weird-ass policies could stop him from exposing his precious piece of art. He missed staring at his tattoos. 

Maybe that's why people stared at him as well. Jungkook gave them pale, courteous smiles in response and kept heading deeper into the garden in search of Jimin. However, before JK could see the characteristic blond, it was the birthday girl who caught his eye.

Lisa was recognizable in instant. She wore a really short pink sequin dress and had a voluminous rhinestone tiara woven into her hair. The equally pink sash was thrown over her shoulder, a bit like Miss Universe or the other beauty contest. And for how she looked this evening she deserved the title. However, her biggest charm was the wide smile on her lips. Jungkook thought it was cute.

The girl suddenly turned around, fixing her long straight blonde hair, and left her friends behind. Only after a moment did Jungkook realize that she was heading straight toward him.

"Cookie!" she shouted from afar and threw her hands around his neck. Jungkook was quite surprised which is why he took a careful step back just to stop the girl's weird movements. Of course, it didn't stop her from trying to hug him even harder. He gently stroked her shoulder to create the fake feeling of a mutual embrace. Only then did she take a step back.

"I'm so glad you're finally here." Lisa smiled widely and clapped her hand in a slightly childish gesture. "I was wondering when will you show up."

"Just now."

He went for a simple answer because he didn't have a good excuse for being late anyway. Somehow he couldn't get himself together and leave the apartment on time, and getting to the other side of the city wasn't the easiest thing to do. If he came by his motorcycle, it would be much faster, but who with common sense comes to parties with his vehicle? Then you can't drink, and it would be a shame to miss such an opportunity at his first party at this school.

"I'm sorry. I know it's a birthday party but I didn't bring any presents." Jungkook spread his hands helplessly. "I don't know what you like."

The truth was, he could have brought her anything or asked the guys if they'd already thought of something, and possibly contribute. A simple bouquet also crossed his mind, but he thought it would look even weirder than coming empty-handed.

"It's okay. You're the best present I can get." She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. "You automatically made this night better, just by showing up."

Lisa smiled at him in a more flirty way than before. He could see in her dark eyes that she had already drunk something and had a good time, as befits a birthday girl. However, she was still sober enough to know what she was doing, so he was slightly surprised when the girl got close enough to whisper into his ear.

"Enjoy the party and please come find me later. You won't regret it."

She slowly pulled away, but their faces were still close to each other. So much so that Jungkook could count every smallest crystal that the girl had glued around her eyes, creating a phenomenal very pink-ish makeup. He could also smell the rose scent of her perfume. A very strong and even more dangerous scent. One of his weaknesses. That is why he immediately straightened up, not being able to resist any longer.

Lisa noticed it and once again smiled flirtatiously. And just like that she turned and left him alone by the pool. Jungkook looked at her back and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. It wasn't what he had expected, but maybe he should have had. The girl was rather direct, and although he liked this feature, he felt a little uncomfortable now. Probably for the first time in a long time.

But before he could think about this, he felt someone hanging on his shoulder. He wanted to get rid of such an obstacle as quickly as possible, but he realized that it was only Jimin who did so.

"Here you are. I was looking for you," JK said, quite happy to finally find his best friend.

"Were you really?" Jimin answered sarcastically and gave him the look. "Because it looked like you were interested in someone else."

So, as he'd expected, his brief encounter with Lisa wasn't discreet at all. They were standing almost in the middle of the backyard, in a place where they were basically in plain sight. And Jimin wasn't going to pretend he didn't see a thing.

"Gukkie, people were staring at you two. And by staring I mean gossiping as hell. And by gossiping as hell I mean—"

"I get it," Jungkook cut him short.

Jimin nodded in response. He didn't like being interrupted, and though he would have let it go in any other situation, he couldn't do it now. Not when his friend looked down, obviously embarrassed by the whole situation. Jungkook looked like he didn't quite know what he wanted to do, and he did feel just like that.

"Don't tell me you're really considering this?" Jimin asked, quite shocked.

Jungkook didn't exactly know yet, but part of him seemed to be seriously considering it. When it came to her appearance and brave behavior, she suited him in every way possible, and he wasn't going to hide it. She looked amazing and had so, so, so kissable lips.

On the other hand, he didn't want to get involved in any strange things in the first weeks after returning. True, he came back here to forget the past and finally live his own life, but that probably wasn't what he needed in the long run. Maybe for one night, yes, but he had no luck with similar adventures recently.

"I'm not drunk enough to do so," Jungkook mumbled finally and put both his hands even deeper into his pockets. "And I'm rarely drunk."

Jimin squinted his eyes and carefully looked him over as if he wanted to judge if Jungkook was telling the truth. JK knew his friend's distrustful look very well, but this time he also knew it was really unfounded. He had no intention of finding Lisa at the end of the evening. At least not at this party.

"Good." Jimin nodded. "Because I think I'll be drunk in a second."

He raised a pink cup to his mouth and finished the drink with one go. Jungkook was surprised by Jimin's drinking abilities, though he knew how it was going to end in some time. That's why he wanted to make one thing clear.

"I will not babysit you."

"You don't have to. Hobi has already volunteered."

That meant one headache less for Jungkook. Dealing with drunk people wasn't one of his favorite things to do. Although recently he probably didn't have anyone close enough to him to care for and watch over while drunk. Maybe that's why he forgot how to do it and was glad that today this duty was taken over by another of Jimin's friends. By the way, he was curious about what Hoseok was wearing. He was babbling so much about finding the right outfit that he had to look stunning.

Jimin looked fine too, though he opted for black. But it wasn't an ordinary black, no, no. He wore a rather loose black shirt with sequins that shimmered with every slightest movement. Jungkook tried not to pay attention to the fact that the shirt had too many buttons undone early on, showing not only Jimin's collarbones but some of his chest as well. He also wore several gold chains of various sizes and lengths, which clattered against each other every now and then, creating a pleasant melody. 

And although the blond bet on black, he had some pink on him as well. Only after a moment did Jungkook realize that one of the boy's carefully gelled and laid-back blond strands was dyed pink. It looked original but really good. So much so that if he dyed his entire hair it would still suit him.

Jimin in general looked amazing and he obviously put some effort into his outfit. It's a wonder Lisa chose to approach Jungkook instead of his friend. Though he guessed Jimin didn't lack the attention at all. If that was the case, he probably would have complained about it by now.

"Gukkie, tell me how it is?" Jimin started, stroking his chin with an index finger. "I spend two hours in the bathroom creating this astounding look, yet you showed up in the casual black T-shirt and stole the whole show. How's that fair?"

Oh, so maybe he did lack the attention after all.

Jungkook didn't quite know how to respond to that. He had a feeling that Jimin was only teasing him, but something in his look suggested otherwise. Maybe that's why he felt a strong need to explain himself.

"Ah, no. I don't want to steal anything. Especially not from you."

Dressing up wasn't his cup of tea. He would have never spent two hours in the bathroom to prepare himself for the party. Unlike Jimin. 

"I just put on something comfortable and that's all." Jungkook shrugged but Jimin still pierced him with his suspicious gaze. 

"Comfortable?" he asked in disbelief.

"Y-yes?"

"You call these super tight jeans comfortable?"

Jimin pointed toward Jungkook's clothes and the boy had to looked down at the sudden accusation. What was wrong with his black jeans? Very normal black jeans. 

"Come on, they're not that tight."

"Trust me. They are," Jimin couldn't help but add in his sassy tone. "But you know what? I'll allow that. They make your ass look amazing."

"Wha—"

"And the thighs. Gosh, those thighs."

Jimin had his eyes locked on Jungkook's jeans and couldn't bring himself to look in any other direction. JK was quite surprised by similar comments but they were really Jimin-like, especially now, when he was slightly drunk. The blond never wasted a good occasion to flirt or to speak his mind, so Jungkook decided to let it slide. 

"Seriously, these thighs are heavenly. Now I know why some people have a kink—"

"Jimin," 

"What? I'm right. And you just got the compliment so don't sulk."

But the one who was truly sulking was Jimin. He was disappointed that Jungkook didn't play along.

And JK really didn't want to play along, despite how much he liked the compliment and how much he liked his thighs. He did like them. They were probably the favorite part of his body. But he couldn't admit it. Not now. 

That is why Jungkook simply rolled his eyes and grabbed his hips, hoping it would calm down his friend a little. Obviously, it didn't so he decided to slightly change the topic and focus on Jimin. He loved talking about himself so maybe it was the best way to distract him.

"You know you're also wearing tight jeans, right?" 

Jungkook folded his arms across the chest and raised an eyebrow. Just as if he caught Jimin red-handed or rather thight-jeansed. The blond was no better than him. Actually, even worse. Tight jeans were the ones to go for him on daily basics. And maybe because of that Jungkook could have predicted Jimin's next move. 

"Duh!" the blond snorted and turned his hips. "And how does my ass look like?"

"I'm not answering that question."

"Why?"

"Just—"

"Oh, come on. Just do the friendly check-up! The same as I did."

Even if Jungkook knew it was just for fun there were some boundaries. Checking out his best friend's ass was for sure one of them. Besides Jimin still didn't know about Jungkook's preferences. He kinda failed to mention that and it was probably not so obvious seeing how he behaved around Lisa. JK never saw Jimin in that way, but he also had eyes. And it was hard to skip such a handsome guy like Jimin.

Jungkook felt uncomfortable. That was awkward, to say the least. That's why he kept his mouth shut. Only after a while did he realize it would have been even more awkward if Jimin knew he was into boys as well. That's why he finally decided to play along.

"Well—"

"Ah, never mind." Jimin waved his hand dismissively. He got bored waiting for an answer. "I'm sorry for that. I always say weird stuff when I'm drunk."

Somehow Jimin decided to drop that topic and Jungkook couldn't have been happier about it. So before the blond could change his mind and ask him another really weird question, Jungkook suggested. 

"So maybe you can introduce me to some of the people before you get completely drunk, hmm?" 

"Nah, you don't need an introduction looking like that." Jimin patted his shoulder but when he saw Jungkook's unamused gaze once again, he quickly added, "But if you insist we can arrange something."

Jimin threw his arm around Jungkook's neck and started looking around the garden while pointing at people he knew or who were worth saying a few words about. He stopped his hand on the small group of boys playing beer pong on the terrace.

"You should try there. They're from the basketball team."

Jungkook immediately perked up and slapped Jimin's hand off his shoulder. In fact, a group of boys could not be missed, all thanks to the blue jackets—it was clear that they were part of the team. Jungkook wondered who they were and if they would get along once they officially accept him into the team. Tryouts were next week and he couldn't wait to get back on the court. He heard a lot of good things about the team; they were really professional and went far in the finals last year. So he had quite high expectations.

He didn't want to be the one who messes up with the team before he gets to it, but he decided that exchanging a few words with the boys probably wouldn't do him any harm.

"I haven't seen the team's captain though," Jimin added and before Jungkook could ask, one of the boys bumped into them, making the blond drop his cup.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

The boy apologized and immediately checked if he hadn't spilled the drink on Jimin. He looked horrified as if damaging the blond's outfit was the greatest offense on earth. Well, technically for Jimin it was.

"Don't worry," Jimin patted his shoulder. "It was empty already."

"Gosh. What a relief." The boy put a hand on his chest as if he wanted to calm his racing heart. He took a few deep breaths and finally cast Jimin a wide smile. "Do you want a new drink then? I'm heading toward the bar."

"That would be nice."

"Be right back."

The boy turned around and just as he said, he rushed toward one of the tables on the terrace where almost all alcohol was placed. 

Jungkook didn't remember seeing the boy before. He was a little taller than him and definitely taller than Jimin, but he looked a bit younger, or maybe he just seemed that way. Nevertheless, he had quite distinctive good looks and a rather slender figure. He was strangely affected after running into Jimin, so JK assumed that they couldn't be close, but they for sure knew each other before.

"And who was it?" Jungkook wanted to know.

"Ah, it was Bogum."

Bogum, Bogum. Jungkook knew the name but he couldn't remember where from.

"Quite funny, we share the same surname," Jimin continued. "Sometimes I think all theater kids share the same surname. Maybe I should join them or something? I think I can play the role of sassy aunt quite accurately."

It was a rather rhetorical question and Jungkook had no intention of answering. Maybe it was because he was so focused on the name of the boy they'd just spoken to, trying to remember why it sounded so familiar. And it took him a while to realize it. Just as Bogum approached the so-called bar.

Across the table, holding the same pink cup as everyone else, stood a figure who, were it not for the fact that the party definitely had its birthday star, would have stolen all the attention. Although it had already happened, regardless of what the really phenomenal-looking Lisa was doing.

Taehyung indeed accepted the invitation and showed up to the party looking as if he was invited to one of the most luxurious red carpets ever. Or maybe it was a boy who just belonged to such places. Because of how it was possible to look so magnificent in just a pink satin shirt with a few simple golden necklaces. Like, he was so effortlessly handsome. Even Jungkook had to admit it.

But what was most appealing to him was his aura. The boy was smiling gently, drinking small sips from the cup, and exchanging a few occasional sentences with Bogum. He wasn't the liveliest person at the party, but he seemed to be more laid back than he was at school. Interesting, JK didn't quite expect that. But maybe it was because the party has only just begun. Nobody was drunk yet. And that changed a lot.

"Gosh, he looks so good today," Jimin said in a dreamy voice.

The blonde stared at the table admiring Taehyung's beauty while Jungkook stared at Jimin with fascination. He always liked to stare at starstruck people. It was somehow interesting to him, trying to understand what was so special about the people they admired. Especially now, when almost everybody at his school was so whipped for the walking perfection. Jungkook had to solve the case. He wanted to solve the case.

On the other hand, he knew exactly what to say to make his friend feel special as well.

"You look better."

Jungkook said sincerely. It had to be addressed, despite their previous weird dispute about their asses. Jimin put a tremendous effort into today's look and should be praised just as much. And if JK could exclude Mr. Walking Perfection from the beauty contest (since he always looked crazy handsome), Jimin was the one who should win for sure. Too bad he didn't see it himself. 

"Was I supposed to believe in it?" Jimin raised his brow and cast him an unamused gaze. "I appreciate it, Gukkie, though... No. You know what? You're right. I look gorgeous today and I'll use it in the best way possible. Let's party!"

Jungkook couldn't believe he convinced Jimin so quickly. So much so the blond immediately headed toward the pool, completely forgetting that he didn't get his drink yet. JK shook his head in disbelief. He sensed that despite Hoseok's declaration, he too needed to keep an eye on his friend. But it didn't bother him too much. Therefore, with a smile on his lips, he simply followed his friends deeper into the party.

Chapter Text

It was somewhen past one when Jungkook sat down on the couch in the living room. Hoseok joined him a second later and he seemed exhausted. His hair went flat and fell on his forehead, so the boy had to fix it every now and then. It looked somehow cute, but the drops of sweat on the boy's temples spoke for themselves. Hoseok couldn't have had an easy night, and not only because of the wild party. He rested his head on his hand and stared at the patterned carpet. Almost as patterned as his shirt, though definitely in less pinkish shades.

"Why the hell did I volunteer?" he sighed, which only made Jungkook smile a little. It could have meant only one thing.

"Where's Jimin?"

That question made Hoseok cast him a part angry, part tired look. "Asleep. Finally."

"He's always a pain in the ass while drunk."

"Is he? I haven't noticed," Hobi responded sarcastically. "He's not only a pain in the ass but a pain in the whole ass body. Transferring him between the toilet and some spare room took me half an hour. And then another half an hour to make him look at least decent and clean."

Well, for Jimin the party was over. Probably it happened earlier than he must have expected. However, technically it went just as the blond told him at the beginning. He wanted to drink, quite a lot actually, and that was the pretty much-expected result. 

Although Jimin's posture made it easy to maneuver him when he was not fully conscious, his inherently feisty persona could be spontaneously awakened even during such moments. That's why Jungkook wasn't surprised by Hoseok's tired look. He must have fought with Jimin quite a lot. In the end, they both had a reputation to uphold. No wonder they cared about each other image during such parties. Especially, when one of them wasn't really in a representative state.

"He's childish, he's irresponsible as hell, he's drunker than ever, and一" Hobi stopped when he saw the screen of his phone lid up, "and he's calling me right now. Ugh!"

He picked up the phone and almost immediately stood up. Jungkook only managed to say quiet good luck before Hobi stormed out of the room.

Jungkook was glad he wasn't the one responsible for Jimin tonight. Of course, if it wasn't for Hoseok he would have helped Jimin but fortunately, it wasn't his duty today. He could simply enjoy the party and the rest of his half-emptied drink. The second one he has been drinking since the beginning of the party. As he mentioned earlier he wasn't in the mood for heavy drinking.

Unfortunately, his loneliness didn't last long as another person took the place beside him on the couch. This time the expected encounter was much more dangerous and much more unpredictable.

"Cooookieeeee." Lisa glued herself to Jungkook's arm making him spill a little of his drink.

One look at the girl was enough for Jungkook to notice that the blonde was heavily drunk. Her gaze was blurred and she had problems with balancing her body, even while sitting. She grabbed his arm as if she was looking for something steady to hold on but he knew there was more to this gesture than a simple touch.

Jungkook discreetly put his spilled drink on the floor. Somehow he had a feeling he would need both of his hands to control the girl's actions.

"You're sooo cool," she mumbled and started to play with his arm. "And sooo handsome. And sooo ripped."

"Yeah, yeah, listen一"

Jungkook tried to stop her but she didn't want to give in. She immediately touched his cheek with her finger creating a deep dimple. "And sooo lovely. Lovely, lovely, lovely."

Lisa laughed to herself and smiled widely trying to imitate the boy's smile. After that, she grabbed his arm again, but this time she hugged it with her whole body. Like a koala bear hugging a tree.

That was too much for Jungkook. He felt uncomfortable and he was aware of how scandalous it may look for other people. Lisa probably didn't care, since she barely cared about anything in such a condition. Maybe she wasn't as drunk as Jimin, but drunk enough to regret certain things and actions the next day. He couldn't take advantage of that and he really didn't want to. The best thing for her was to lie down for a while, not to try to hit up on him.

JK looked around trying to find one of her friends, somebody who, like Hobi, could take care of the friend when needed. Unfortunately, he couldn't see the rest of the well-known girl squad.

He turned to Lisa and tried to free his arm. When she still didn't want to let go he promised even though he had already known it was a lie. "I'll be back in a second."

"Nooo," she pouted. "Don't leave me, honey."

Jungkook tried to stay composed when he heard the nickname, but the truth was he really, really wanted to roll his eyes. Somehow he held it back, same for an unpleasant grimace. He had to bear it to get free. He knew how to escape this weird encounter but didn't like the idea. In the end, he had to risk it. There was no other way.

"I'll be back, honey." The last word barely escaped his mouth but he knew it was a key to success.

Lisa's eyes lit up as she suddenly sobered up but Jungkook knew it wasn't the case. Her wide but somehow shy smile suggested she liked to be called like that, especially by him. And he was right. It made Lisa unglue herself from his arm. Never in his life had he been happier to have his hand free.

"You go, babe." She winked at him. "But I'll look for you if you won't be back!"

And that's what Jungkook was most afraid of. He immediately stood up and left the girl alone. At first, he went out to the garden hoping to find one of her friends. Somebody had to take care of the blonde and he didn't want to be the one. Jungkook knew perfectly well how it could end and he wasn't in the mood to try it.

Unfortunately, it was even worse in the garden. All party people were equally drunk and no one could really take care of the girl, yet to take care of themselves. JK had to try it in the kitchen, where, of course, those still relatively sober were gathered. He checked there only for a moment and quickly ran away, seeing that Lisa had already somehow gotten up from the couch and evidently started looking for him. That was no good. He had to find a place where the girl wouldn't find him.

Lisa's wooing was quite obvious but also very insistent and Jungkook felt uncomfortable with it. Maybe some time ago he would have treated the girl completely differently, but this evening he had no intention of going back to his old habits. He hated when people took advantage of others and by agreeing to the girl's proposal he would be just the same. 

So he preferred to wait and settle it all while sober. He just needed some time to consider whether he wanted to start anything with the girl. Even if it would only be an insignificant and quite short adventure. He wasn't that type of person, or at least he tried not to be. However, sometimes it didn't work out the way he wanted. Jungkook had already learned his lesson. He didn't need another one.

He decided it would be safer to leave the party-goers and find some quiet place inside. Therefore, he quietly went up the stairs to the second floor, searching for a place where he could hide for a while. He strongly hoped that while searching the rooms he would not come across any couple kissing somewhere in the corner, or worse, he would not catch them in the act. He assumed that for such things, after all, the door should be locked, however, when he grabbed the handle of one of the doors, he was breathing quite heavily. He discreetly peeked inside. It was dark, but he didn't see or hear anything suspicious. He decided to go deeper, and only then did the weight fall off his shoulders. The room was empty.

The dim light from the street lamp only slightly lightened the room, but Jungkook could tell it was someone's bedroom. From the colors used and numerous photos everywhere, he assumed it belonged to the girl's parents. Maybe that's why no one has dared to go inside yet.

Jungkook looked at the open window on the house's front side. Just below it, there was a garage roof, and jumping out of the window looked rather easy and safe thing to do. Jungkook decided it was worth a try. He needed some fresh air, and he was no stranger to similar acrobatics.

He crossed the room in no time, grabbed the window frame, and jumped to the other side. He held on to the wall lightly in case he would lose his balance on the curvy surface, but there was no need. The roof wasn't that slopped, nor was it too high. He had walked on much more difficult places in the past and was clearly not out of practice yet. As it seems, some things cannot be unlearned.

The place was a really good find. From here Jungkook could see the entire front of the house, the driveway, and part of the street as well. He couldn't see the party-goers though, but he could hear the music coming from the backyard. Still, it was quieter here, calmer, cooler. It was the perfect place to calm down and collect his thoughts. Just what he exactly needed at the moment.

"Excuse me, but this spot is taken."

Suddenly Jungkook heard a voice behind him and he jumped in surprise. He had to grab the window frame again just to keep his balance. He placed his other hand over his heart to calm its uneven beating. He got really scared. Years of walking on rooftops had prepared him for many things, but apparently not for this.

JK let out the breath he had subconsciously held for a long time and only then he looked around in search of the owner of the piercing voice. All he had to do, was to look down. The boy sat comfortably on the rooftop and leaned his back against the wall. In this position, he was invisible from the room, which is why Jungkook had no chance to notice him earlier. Maybe then he wouldn't have come here at all.

However, Jungkook decided that this particular meeting was a bit of a joke of fate. He found the person everyone was looking for, just when he wanted to hide from others himself. JK smirked. Apparently, it was meant to be like that.

"They are looking for you," Jungkook said calmly.

JK hoped for some reaction, but the boy seemed to not care at all. He looked rather bored or perhaps just lost in his thoughts. His eyes darted towards the street, and the pale glow of one of the street lamps timidly illuminated his profile. Even in such poor light, he looked extremely good. Or maybe this semi-darkness gave him even more charm and mystery. His pink shirt and gold accessories seemed to glow, but even their mutual efforts could not dim the boy's features. Shit, he really was the most beautiful man in the world.

Jungkook waited for an answer impatiently. He had to find out if all those school legends were true. He wanted to know what it was like to talk to a walking perfection. What was it like to talk to Kim Taehyung?

"They really are looking. Maybe you should do something about it?"

"Let them look." Taehyung shrugged and continued to stare into the void. That wasn't the reaction Jungkook expected.

"What if it is something important?"

"It never is."

One thing about the boy was true: he had a really charming voice. It was low, melodic and once it broke into one's head, it would not escape their mind quickly. Jungkook felt as if it touched things inside him he didn't know he had. And even when he sensed a note of irritation and weariness in that voice, there was still something quite unforgettable about it. And if it already seemed so perfect, how would it sound when the boy was in a neutral, good mood?

Exactly, the mood. The boy's attitude surprised JK a little. He expected Taehyung not to be very talkative after what Hobi and Jimin had told him earlier. However, he didn't think the boy would completely ignore him while making strangely ambivalent comments. And that cold gaze. Taehyung didn't look at him even once.

This gave Jungkook a lot to think about. He decided he wouldn't leave it like that. He clutched his hips as if he was clearly considering something, but it didn't take him long to figure out what to do next. Finally, he sighed and simply sat on the other side of the rooftop and leaned against the wall in the same way as the boy. Since this was the best place to avoid party people, he had to try it.

It was only this gesture that made Taehyung finally look at him. Jungkook saw out of the corner of his eye how the boy's gaze followed him as he slowly sat down on the red tile, only to look at him with a mixture of disbelief and annoyance at the very end.

"I believe I told you this spot was taken," Taehyung said, but his voice didn't sound so sweet anymore.

"Yeah, and I told you they were looking for you," Jungkook responded similarly. "I guess we both decided to ignore these facts, right?"

Taehyung stared at Jungkook in disbelief for a moment longer before frowning. He sighted but it wasn't a sigh of relief. Rather a sigh of irritation; almost a scoff. Jungkook was sure that the boy would roll his eyes, but instead, he just closed them and tilted his head back, resting it against the wall. He didn't do it gently because as soon as he touched the white siding, Jungkook felt it on his skin right away.

Apparently, his presence bothered Taehyung. There was no other way to explain this strange reaction. Which only meant JK was going to annoy him even more. He wasn't going anywhere.

"So, why are you hiding?" Jungkook asked.

It didn't look like a temporary distraction from the intensive party. It wasn't a moment to catch a breath, sober up, power nap, or other nonsense. Taehyung was clearly hiding from something—it was the only thing that could explain such a long absence and such a strange, secluded place where he was sitting. There was something wrong with the boy's behavior and attitude and Jungkook wanted to know what it was.

Unfortunately, his question was gone with the wind the moment he said it. Taehyung stared at one spot somewhere on the street and didn't look away even for a moment. He acted as if he hasn't heard Jungkook talking to him at all. He seemed so indifferent that even if JK shouted into his ear, he wouldn't even pay the slightest attention. As if he had completely frozen in one place.

Except that Jungkook was sure the boy heard him well. There was no other option. He gave him one moment more to answer, and when he encountered the dead silence again, he winced and had to react.

"Are you going to ignore me?"

No response. Not even a sigh.

"Really?" he asked once again but to no avail.

This time Jungkook couldn't help and scoffed. Such childish behavior, he thought. And just as he believed he wouldn't get any response at all, he heard a soft grunt.

"Since I want to be alone and you clearly don't want to go, ignoring you is the only way I can create the feeling of loneliness."

It made sense, but Jungkook saw it in a completely different way.

"Then why bother and come to the party if you want to be alone?"

Jungkook gave him a curious look. He didn't understand the people who did that. Overall, he didn't understand people who did things against their will or under some strange influence or pressure. Why come to a party you don't want to be at? Unless it's some social stunt again which the boy was obliged to do to maintain his fame or the school's status. It was crazy to even think about it.

"You could have stayed at home."

"I was invited."

Jungkook scoffed. That was the most ridiculous answer he had ever heard. 

"Invited to sit on the roof?"

"We must have been invited to the same party then," Taehyung spat back and finally turned toward the raven-haired boy.

And for a split second, Jungkook saw a glimpse of anger in his dark eyes. Something he had never expected to see there. But it was long gone a second after JK had even noticed. Partly because Taehyung's expression quickly changed into his unbothered-and-still self and partly because the boy once again gazed somewhere into the darkness.

More than that, Jungkook was surprised to see Taehyung so feisty. Well, he knew perfectly well how people can act when irritated or enraged so he didn't blame the boy for such a response. However, seeing him lose this whole perfect and calm composure made him look more like a human. And that side of him (Jungkook could even bet it was the rare one) somehow fascinated him more than the whole walking perfection facade.

"So what about me telling you why I'm here if you tell me一"

"I don't care why you're here."

Taehyung interrupted JK before he could finish the sentence. Jungkook froze with his mouth open and couldn't close it for quite some time. If the previous comments were possible to justify this one was straight-up rude. What the hell was that?

Jungkook winced. This was not how he had imagined the conversation to go. If he wanted to be remotely nice before, then from that point he didn't care about being polite at all.

There was no point in sitting on the roof. Jungkook was supposed to rest, but he just got annoyed even more. But walking away right now also meant losing, and JK hated losing. So he decided that if he was going to leave the boy alone, he should get something out of it. Possibly something equally valuable.

"But I do care. Tell me why are you hiding and I'll leave you alone."

JK knew it had to work. If the boy wanted to stay here alone so badly, he had to agree. If not, at least consider that an option. And it actually happened. Jungkook saw the slight change in the boy's features; he seemed interested in his offer. Taehyung slowly turned his head and looked at Jungkook as if he was trying to determine if such a deal was worth it. Or maybe he was just looking for some hidden catch behind it.

It took a while but finally, the boy sighed and squirmed to reach something he was keeping in his right pocket. After a while, he pulled out an item and presented it to Jungkook. It was a pack of cigarettes, and even from a distance, JK knew it was one of the most disgusting ones.

Strange. If that was the reason for his absence, it couldn't be more trivial. Sure, he could have gone out for a cigarette, but not for two hours. Jungkook was even able to understand that with his divine image, he had to hide whenever he smoked. Yet something seemed off. Even the fact that JK couldn't sense the smoke.

"Don't tell me you went out here to smoke for two hours."

"You wanted to know, so now you know," Taehyung added quite dismissively and shrugged. He looked at Jungkook meaningfully as if he wanted him to go away as quickly as possible.

Jungkook didn't like this at all, because it wasn't the reason he expected to hear from the boy. JK knew it was only a weird excuse, and probably a blunt lie, but he couldn't prove it. 

In the end, he had to stick to the previously given word, even if he got nothing out of this deal. He was an honorable person when it came to such things.

He sighed, shook his head, and finally stood up. He was tempted to add something else, just to be the last one to finish the conversation. However, when he looked at the boy for the last time he was no longer interested in him. So Jungkook decided to drop that idea. He would probably ignore him anyway.

Silently, he grabbed the window frame and climbed back into the room. It wasn't until he landed on the other side that he heard a voice from the rooftop.

"Ah, one more thing."

Jungkook leaned out of the window in response to the boy's call. As soon as he looked at Taehyung, the boy threw the previously mentioned pack of cigarettes in his direction. Jungkook had a hard time catching it, mostly because he hadn't expected such a throw at all.

"Why?" he wanted to know. "I don't smoke this cheap shit."

If it wasn't for the horrible brand of cigarettes, Jungkook would have been even happy— it meant one more free pack for him. However, these were of no use to him.

"Neither do I." Came the response which left Jungkook completely shocked. "I took them from Bogum. I hate when he smokes."

Jungkook didn't know how to respond to that. He expected the story about going out for a cigarette to be made up, but he didn't think the boy would go that far. It was beyond his imagination. But before JK could tell him what he thought about it, Taehyung just waved his hand.

"Actually you can give them back to him since you're going downstairs, right?" he said enthusiastically and faked a bright smile. After that Taehyung dropped the happy attitude, lifted his chin high, and looked away again. And this gesture marked the definite end of their conversation.

Jungkook hadn't expected such treatment, not after what he heard about the boy from Jimin and basically from everyone. And this was supposed to be this walking perfection? A person with whom even the shortest conversation gives butterflies in the stomach? Whose refusal doesn't hurt? Jungkook thought it was a big joke. He didn't know that he could be so disappointed in a stranger.

He looked at the mysterious boy once again, throwing him an angry look. He hoped that maybe Taehyung would look away for a moment to notice his displeasure, but unfortunately nothing of the sort happened. Jungkook wasn't going to wait; Taehyung wasn't worth his time. So he just snorted, slammed his hand against the window frame, and simply stormed off.

Jungkook wanted to find a moment of peace, and he came back from the break angrier than before. He gripped the pack of cigarettes harder than he should and couldn't refrain from a few obscene words toward the walking imperfection. He wondered how many people had experienced a similar encounter with a boy; he couldn't be the only one. And there was only one person who could give him an answer.

He had to find Bogum. Not only because the cigarettes supposedly belonged to him but also because Jungkook wanted to know something more about this whole Kim Taeyhung.

The boy wasn't hard to find. He stood at the drinks table just like the last time he saw him. Jungkook didn't want to cut in and interrupt his conversation with one of the blonde cheerleaders, but he had no choice. He chose the right moment and leaned against the table next to the boy.

"Hey, you're Bogum, right?" he asked.

The boy looked away from the girl and gave him a wide smile. Jungkook was surprised by such behavior, because he, in the boy's place, would not give up talking to such a girl in favor of talking to himself.

"That's me," he responded cheerfully. "What's up?"

Jungkook only raised his hand with a pack of cigarettes in response. And at that very moment, he could see how the smile disappeared from Bogum's face, giving a way to a full surprise at first, and then to some kind of embarrassment. Something was clearly wrong.

Bogum immediately turned to the girl and muttered a quiet, "Excuse us." Then he patted Jungkook on the shoulder and nodded, suggesting he should follow him. JK did, and a moment later they were in the hall. There weren't many people there or at least not many sober enough to understand their conversation.

"Where is Taehyung?" Bogum asked, rather concerned.

"Why should I know that?" Jungkook responded defensively even though he knew exactly where Taehyung was right now.

"You have his cigarettes."

"His cigarettes?!"

Jungkook stared in disbelief first at the package he was holding, and then again at Bogum. The boy seemed surprised by the whole questioning, which only made Jungkook sure of one thing: he was treacherously lied to. And not once but twice.

"Yes, his. Only he smokes these cheap ones," Bogum added confirming his previous words. It only made Jungkook angrier.

"This motherfucker."

"What? Why?"

"He told me they belong to you and made me deliver them back."

"I don't smoke."

"Duh," Jungkook snorted. "Now I know."

He still couldn't believe he was fooled like that—so easily and so unnecessarily. Why lie about it? That didn't make any sense. After all, he would have found out the truth from Bogum anyway. Taehyung must have known about it.

"Why did he lie then?"

Jungkook grabbed his hips, which made him look like an angry teacher waiting for a naughty student's explanation. He wanted to know the reason behind the boy's behavior and he was getting angrier and angrier with every second of this ridiculous situation. He hated being played like that.

But Bogum only shrugged. "Probably to get rid of you."

Jungkook was surprised by the lightness and directness with which the boy said the last sentence. As if it was the most obvious thing in the world. And it shouldn't be. Bogum realized that his answer might have been misinterpreted, so he quickly added with an embarrassed smile on his lips.

"So many people want something from him all the time. And some girls can be really clingy, especially now when most of them are drunk. Well, actually boys also do bother him a lot but they're mostly curious. If I were him, I would also try to avoid everyone. So don't take it personally."

Bogum voiced out Jungkook's thoughts from a few days before the party. Back then JK was curious about how Taehyung would act at such parties. Being the one on everybody's lips couldn't be easy especially during such social outings when literally everybody wanted a second with the boy. Jungkook knew it wasn't easy to get rid of pushy girls, especially when they were drunk.

That is why he kind of understood the boy's behavior. But only kind of. Jungkook wasn't the pushy blonde. So what did he do to deserve such treatment?

"He looks like a social butterfly but he really isn't," Bogum admitted. "Sometimes when we talked I felt like I was the only one really into the conversation. He always cut it short anyway, as if he wanted to be alone. So I'm not surprised he did the same to you."

This behavior was strange, to say the least, but Bogum's description matched what he had just experienced. Well, maybe with one important detail. Their conversation ended up rather displeasingly. Not to mention making Jungkook a delivery boy. That was too much.

"And still people call him a walking perfection? You know it's bullshit."

"Listen," Bogum said calmly as opposed to Jungkook's angry expression. "To understand this guy we need quite a big manual if there even exists one. So maybe it's better to just leave him be. I think he would actually like that."

"Then why didn't you leave him be, huh?"

If Bogum was in fact the only person Taehyung spoke with more often than with others, then what was the reason for that? Why out of so many people he chose him, and why knowing his weird ways with people Bogum decided to stay by his side? Or so it might seem.

"I do leave him be. Quite a lot actually. Or I did anyway. He has become really distant lately and I don't know why. He never explained it so I stopped bothering him just as he wished I would," Bogum explained but his expression suggested he was really upset that their relationship ended in such a way. "Maybe I did something wrong?"

This behavior made absolutely no sense. So apparently Taehyung rejected the only friend he had without any reason whatsoever and in such a way that Bogum thought it was his fault after all? In the way that the boy still saw him as a walking perfection? Without any resentment or anger, or anything. Just like that?

It was beyond Jungkook's imagination and only made him even angrier than he already was.

People marveled at the boy's beautiful exterior, while someone else was sitting inside taking control of everything. It was all fake and it made Jungkook sick to his stomach that nobody actually saw that.

"Why did he suddenly mention me?" the boy asked rather confused. But Jungkook's guess was as good as anybody's else.

"I don't know. I thought you would tell me."

And for a moment they stood there in complete silence not sure where to go with this conversation. Jungkook came here for answers but was about to leave with even more questions and a completely ruined mood.

Bogum sensed how tense Jungkook had become, which is why he wanted to change the topic and possibly let him enjoy the rest of the evening without bothering about his unusual friend or actual ex-friend.

"So, where is he now?" he asked. "I'll check up on him and maybe—"

"Don't bother." Jungkook waved his hand dismissively. "I have something to tell him as well."

He wanted to clear the situation with the boy once and for all so that he could leave him alone, as advised by... everyone actually. He took a step toward the stairs, intending to go to a well-known place when he suddenly felt a strong grip on his wrist. He immediately turned around to face puzzled Bogum.

"What?" Jungkook asked, surprised by the boy's behavior.

Bogum looked somehow frightened which he subconsciously confirmed by the small gulp. But why was he so afraid? Okay, maybe Jungkook was quite intimidating when enraged and he most definitely felt like that at this moment. But he wasn't stupid enough to start a fight. That was childish.

"Come on, I'm not going to beat him up. I just want to give him a piece of my mind since apparently everybody's too blind to even consider this."

And with that in mind, he broke free from the boy's grip and headed upstairs. Bogum didn't try to stop him anymore, just nodded slightly, but he still didn't look convinced by the idea. But Jungkook didn't care anymore. He knew what had to be done.

Jungkook hated losing and this whole cigarettes game just got on his nerves. He couldn't lose to someone whose image was a joke.

He took long and confident steps and in the blink of an eye, he was upstairs. He rushed into the room, not thinking beforehand whether he would find someone else inside. He didn't care. At once he reached the window and leaned over the frame. He opened his mouth ready to spill everything that was on his mind, but before he could say anything he realized that the boy was gone. Taehyung disappeared.

"Ah, fuck," he muttered to himself.

He stared at the place where the boy had been sitting for a moment, biting his lips in fury. Frustrated, he slammed his hand against the window frame. He wanted to let his anger out, though he preferred to do it verbally rather than physically. The window wasn't to blame here.

For the last time, he looked at the pack of cigarettes he was holding and finally put it in the pocket of his jeans. He most definitely would deliver them back to the boy. And he won't be gentle about it. 

Chapter Text

Jungkook hated Mondays. Not only because he started them whit math classes but overall. The Monday vibe was just different. This one, however, was extremely annoying. The whole weekend he kept thinking about that weird situation at the party, and every time he tried to forget it, the pack of cigarettes on the kitchen counter turned into a painful reminder.

The morning at school was pretty normal, though many of the students were still talking about Lisa's birthday party. It was the source of many rumors and stories that had to be spread around in no time at all. Jungkook was aware that he probably existed in most of these stories as well, especially after Lisa was literally glued to him on the couch. But somehow he didn't care at all.

That's why he hated the idea of talking to Jimin during lunch break. The blond probably knew all of the stories and it would be extremely hard to shut him. He would talk until he tells him everything. Gosh, it will be a tiring day.

He squinted his eyes as the sun came out. It was early in the morning and it was already so stuffy and hot. He became even more frustrated as he had to wear a long sleeve at the request of the rest of the teachers. Although the T-shirt was white with some small graphics, it was still damn hot. He rolled up the sleeve of his left arm to cool down a little but there was no use. He was screwed.

JK hurried across the patio. He hoped that it would be slightly cooler inside the building, and if not, at least he wouldn't be directly exposed to sunlight. And many students rushed to classes just like him, but there was one who thought quite the opposite.

Taehyung was sitting peacefully on his bench, the one he always sat on on sunny days during lunch. He tilted his head back to catch the rays of the morning sun that blended perfectly with his honey-like skin tone. He seemed relaxed, his hands laying on each side of the backrest with a few thin gold bracelets reflecting sunlight. If it wasn't for the wind slightly caressing his black waves and the deep breaths he took from time to time, one could think he was a piece of art left on the school's patio.

It was a truly beautiful sight, and more than one student stopped for a moment to admire it. However, no one had the courage to disturb this beautiful peace, the state of symbiosis that the boy had achieved with the sun. Nobody but Jungkook.

It annoyed him that the boy was playing a walking perfection again when in fact he was a total scumbag. Jungkook couldn't let go of these thoughts, so he had to confront the boy. It was the right moment. With the school already buzzing with rumors, he was about to give them another one.

He walked confidently toward the bench and simply sat down on its other end. He did it with quite a loud thud, considering how many metal pieces his backpack, part of his cargo pants and belt had. He did it on purpose though; to get some attention. And yet Taehyung seemed completely unbothered by Jungkook's gesture. His face was still facing the sun, though now there was a slight smirk on his lips.

"You know what?" Jungkook started with a snort. "That one-flaw rule of yours is complete bullshit."

There was no response, not even a flicker. But JK knew the boy could hear him loud and clear. He just decided to ignore him. Again. Jungkook scoffed because he kind of expected such silent treatment. Nevertheless, it annoyed him a lot more than he expected and he had to carefully choose his next words so he wouldn't explode with anger. Though he really wanted to.

"We talked once and I can already count at least five. And I didn't have to look far, to be honest."

"Is that so?"

Taehyung finally responded but without moving an inch. He still had his eyes closed and his voice was calm, maybe even indifferent, yet so so dignified. Just as if Jungkook was living on his mercy. As if by responding he was doing him a huge favor. And that made Jungkook even angrier.

"You lie without hesitation." JK started counting the flaws on the fingers of his right hand. "You have no empathy toward your one and only friend, who you apparently rejected with no reason whatsoever and even made him feel guilty about it. You act superior to others. You smoke the worst shit on earth and you're completely ignorant. See, you're even ignoring me right now."

As expected, Taehyung didn't respond. Just as if he was truly ignoring Jungkook's words. Or maybe he just didn't want to listen to someone listing down his flaws when he was so sure of having only one. The completely worthless one. And since it was all about this bullshit nickname, Jungkook didn't hesitate and just had to point one thing out.

"People call you a walking perfection because nobody actually knows you."

How was it possible that nobody, literally nobody, even his closest yet a still distant friend, couldn't see something was off. It couldn't be only Jungkook who saw a glimpse of not such a walking perfection. Or maybe he was just the only one truly looking for something human in the boy. And though this whole stupid-ass perfect image infuriated him so much, he kinda liked the idea of being right. Nobody was perfect.

So why the boy tried so hard to be perceived as one? How vain a person has to be to crave it so badly? And not to use it in any other way than being admired for sitting on the bench? What was this mess?

Jungkook let this phrase linger for quite longer. It didn't help him find the answers to his questions but in the end, he archived one of his goals: Taehyung finally looked at him. He slowly turned his head, opened his beautiful dark eyes, and cast him one long look, making Jungkook reconsider all of his life choices at once. It was as if the boy cast a spell on him. For a second JK was completely frozen. He didn't know one look could make him feel like that and yet there he was, totally starstruck.

It was such an unusual feeling which made him realize why nobody was able to talk back to the boy. He truly was intimidating to talk to, especially from such up close. In daylight, his striking good looks were brighter than the sunlight and similarly blinding. As if staring for too long could actually harm you. It was something Jungkook missed when they were talking on the roof, where there was rather dark and the only source of light was a dim streetlamp. Maybe that's why it was easier to talk to him that night. He was already handsome back then, but now? Wow. Just wow.

Smooth soft skin, almost untouched by any imperfections, as it was a piece of the finest velvet sheets from the royal bed. A few lovely moles spread across his face. If they form in places a person was kissed the most in their past life then no wonder the boy had one on his lips, the tip of his nose, cheekbone, forehead, and just under his eye. All these features looked so flawless. Just as they should be admired with the softest of touches, the most innocent brushes of someone's lips.

It was quite surprising there were none of his neck. From his sharp jawline, through his Adam's apple to the end of his exposed collarbones—it was the greatest canvas for the finest painter brave enough to mark it with their lips. Yet it looked like no one's touched it before. There was only one thing that could touch this heavenly place. And a simple gold necklace with a perfectly ironed collar of his pastel shirt seemed to be fighting for this privilege for ages.

But Jungkook just stared into his black eyes and they seemed to be staring back at him. Gazing right into his soul, though JK couldn't do the same. He just forgot about the whole word for just a second. What was he even saying before?

"What if I don't want them to know me?" Taehyung said mysteriously in his deep voice.

That made Jungkook snap back from the weird state he got himself into. For a moment he felt really bad for falling into the same trap as everybody. Yet he was able to snap back out of it almost immediately. One simple memory trip to the last party was enough to remind him of what hid behind those beautiful eyes. And it was quite an awful image.

He grimaced on instant when he remembered what happened on the rooftop and later with Bogum. He was played with; deceived by the boy. Similar to how Taehyung was deceiving others at school, though he usually charmed them with his looks. The boy was attractive as hell and maybe he knew how to use it in the end. He truly was an intimidating persona. But Jungkook had no intention of being intimidated by that. He didn't know the boy for long but what he experienced was enough to have his judgment.

Taehyung could be the most beautiful person on Earth but with such a horrible personality he was so damn ugly. And Jungkook had no intention of hanging out with ugly people.

"Then I'll let you live in this rose-perfect world of yours," Jungkook snapped back and rapidly stood up not being able to share the same bench with the boy any longer. "And don't worry, I'll keep that conversation to myself so you can keep your walking perfection image."

The last sentence was said with such spite that Jungkook was surprised he could even act like that. He got angry at the sudden memory of how he was treated by the boy. And seeing him now so confident, almost so insolent, made him hate him even more. He wished they had this conversation on the rooftop during the party. Then he could just speak his mind without hesitation. Here at school, absolutely everything had ears, and though he didn't care that much, he subconsciously held back a little.

That's why he wondered if there was one more thing he should do. In the end, he decided to risk it. If he could ever act extremely petty, that was the moment. He took a pack of cigarettes out of his backpack and threw it at the boy's feet.

"I believe it belongs to you," he added and without checking the boy's reaction, he rushed into the building.

Almost instantly, he was at his locker. It surprised him a little because normally at this time of the day, he would have to squeeze through a crowd of students but this time it went quite easy for him. Maybe it was because when he walked down the corridors, looking so furious, no one wanted to get in his way and simply moved away. Good, because Jungkook was really really angry and he could see himself snapping out at the slightest touch.

And at one point, he didn't really know what exactly he was so angry about. Maybe at some injustice? So many people at this school valued the boy so much that they stopped seeing how valuable they really were. Comparing themselves to the walking perfection couldn't be easy, especially when no one could really archive it, besides Taehyung of course. And now, knowing the boy wasn't so perfect himself made Jungkook sad for all those undervalued people at this school. That was so unfair. If only they knew the walking perfection was uglier than them.

And to think even Jimin doubted himself around someone like that. If he knew that one-flaw rule was complete bullshit and the boy is single because he's just an asshole, maybe the blond would finally stop tormenting himself. JK wondered how many more people would feel better knowing about that?

Maybe he was angry because he somehow also fall into the same trap as everybody? He didn't believe in the myth of walking perfection from the very beginning, that's true. But maybe subconsciously he wanted to be proven wrong? To be shown that perfect people are a rarity yet they somehow exist? He wanted to solve the case and now when he partially did it, he was simply disappointed. It was exactly what he had expected yet it somehow hurt him. And he didn't exactly know why.

And finally, he was probably angry with himself that he cared so much about all this.

But he really couldn't let it go. Okay, the boy had more than one flaw. Still, why hide it? Why pretend? Nobody's perfect and no one ever will be. It would be normal for him to lie or smoke from time to time. Everybody does that. Yet he decided to make himself someone he surely isn't. For what? For some fancy school status? Prestige? In the name of what? Some belief? Ego? Vanity? JK couldn't put a name on it simply because he would never do something like this. He would rather die than pretend to be someone else.

However, if Taehyung's goal was to achieve the perfect image, to create a flawlessly beautiful and perfect person, then he had no intention of stopping him. If he wanted to live in a constant lie, then it was his choice.

Jungkook cursed under his breath and fumbled nervously with the lock of his locker. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw two people approaching him. Given that no one else wanted to mess with him in this state, the choices were rather limited. He immediately recognized Jimin's silhouette, and the colorful T-shirt confirmed his belief that Hoseok was with him. However, he completely ignored them and threw his backpack inside the locker, making a lot of noise.

"Gukkie, please stop that," Jimin squealed, visibly in pain from the sudden noise. "I have the worst hangover in my life."

"Party was two days ago," Jungkook growled.

"That's why it is the worst," the blonde complained but almost immediately continued, "But I see I'm not the only one having a bad day, huh?"

Jimin pointed toward Jungkook's backpack which was treated quite harshly only seconds ago. He needed to know what had gotten to his friend, especially since he rarely saw him so angry. He knew something was up, the question was what exactly.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, right."

That was the most insincere nothing Jimin has ever heard. He rolled his eyes and looked at Hobi to make sure he didn't buy into Jungkook's pathetic excuses. To his surprise, Hoseok was smiling quite mysteriously, which only increased Jimin's curiosity.

"I think I know what it is about," Hobi said proudly.

He hoped this remark would finally get Jungkook's attention, who was still aggressively sorting through things in the locker. However, he didn't stop even for a moment, so Hobi added, "I saw him talking with Taehyung."

Only after that Jungkook stopped at once. Subconsciously, he cursed himself for such behavior, which confirmed that this was his problem. But he couldn't react to the boy's name in any other way. He tossed the last notebook inside rather furiously and turned to his friends. He put his hands on his hips and looked down at them, hoping it would cool their eagerness to ask questions. Unfortunately, it was the other way around.

"Were you really?" Jimin asked, quite surprised.

"What? Is it something unusual?"

"Well, it's just... Nobody acts like that after talking to him. People are mostly starstruck. You know, he's such a gentleman, sweetheart, cupcak—"

"You don't speak often, huh?" Jungkook cut in, not being able to hear more completely false statements about the boy.

"And you do?" Jimin responded in his sassy-like manner, which for a while left Jungkook speechless. He wanted to protest claiming he talked to the boy and even discovered a few cracks in his flawless persona. He had to prove that he was right, and the rest only knew the fake image of the boy.

However, he bit his tongue. There was no point in having such a conversation. At least not now. That's why he calmed down a little and added with a shrug.

"We talked during the party."

"When?" Jimin seemed confused and surprised at the same time. He most definitely would have remembered such an image unless...

"When you were dying somewhere between the toilet and bedroom."

Came the fast response from Jungkook which only made Jimin blush a little with embarrassment. It wasn't his brightest moment and a lot of this party was missing from his memory. Never in his life would he have guessed he would end up like that but apparently he wasn't the best fortune teller. Jimin just hoped nobody saw his cosplay of living corpses as he was lying in one of the bedrooms trying to sober up.

With Jimin clearly unable to recon the moment Jungkook could possibly talk with Taehyung, Hoseok was the one to step in with his theories.

"Right. When I came back to the living room you were nowhere to be found," he said slowly, trying to remember exactly what happened that night. "But then Lisa was gone as well so I thought..."

He started but didn't finish the sentence which only made Jungkook uneasy. He placed his hand on the lockers as if he feared the end of the sentence would sweep him off his feet. He had a bad feeling about what Hoseok meant but didn't say in the end.

"You thought what?"

"That you and her... you know." Hoseok looked down, obviously embarrassed by such a topic. Or maybe by the fact he added a moment later. "Actually everybody knows."

Jungkook opened his eyes in surprise. It's one thing to make a friendly assumption that something might have happened between him and Lisa that night. But some fabricated rumor that has spread around the school was quite another thing. Especially since he had no idea where it came from. Okay, the girl was clearly into him, but that wasn't enough to assume they'd been close to each other that evening.

He hated that idea but apparently, everybody at the party saw what they wanted to see. Or all of them were simply too drunk to see what had actually happened. If that was what Jimin once warned him about, all the rumors and scandals cause only by a mere talk with one of the four girls, then he had his proof. Gosh, it was so messed up.

He was about to ask boys to fix this whole mess. If they were the gossip girls, it shouldn't be a problem to do some talking and undo everything before someone gets the wrong idea. However, Jimin started to look between Hoseok and Jungkook as if he had no idea what was going on. But it didn't take him long to connect the dots so he finally looked at Jungkook in disbelief.

"What? Gukkie, why haven't you told me?"

"Because nothing happened!" Jungkook tried to explain himself but his friends had a hard time accepting it.

"It's okay, you can tell us. Good for you. I'm not mad. I mean I'm mad that you haven't told me but—"

"Nothing happened," JK tried once again. "She was drunk so I left her alone and I went outside to catch some air."

"But you were gone for some time and we all thought that—"

"Then you thought wrong!"

Jungkook raised his voice. He didn't mind people talking and gossiping about him. He got used to being on people's lips all the time. If he had got a dollar each time people assume something ridiculous about his persona, he would have been awfully rich by now.

Yet he wanted to avoid similar histories at this school and somehow he got caught up in some made-up scandal. And what about Lisa? He could bet she would get more hate for this. Girls always got it bad.

But what hurt him the most was that people he claimed as his friends didn't believe him. Didn't believe his words. If he said that nothing happened, they should believe him on the spot. So what was different now?

Okay, Jimin was quite confused and couldn't recall anything from that part of the party, so he could be partially justified. But Hoseok? Making such assumptions? That didn't seem right. Especially when he wasn't the only one missing throughout the party. So many people came and went to different places at different times, yet he was the one blamed for something he didn't even consider doing.

Such inconsistency was so blatantly obvious, that is why Jungkook decided to point it out using an example he never thought he would use.

"You said it yourself that this walking perfection of yours always disappears from the parties for some time and yet nobody assumes that he's fucking someone in the guest room. Why are we different, huh?"

"He is just—"

"Tired of your bullshit," Jungkook finished before Hoseok could do so. "Now I know why he wanted to be alone. Maybe I should do the same at the next party."

Just as he said it, he slammed his locker shut and without any other word, he pushed through both of the guys and rushed toward the classroom. He was in no mood for such conversation. If some minutes ago he thought he was angry, he clearly had been wrong. Because at this moment he was fuming and if it wasn't for classes, he would have gone to the gym just to punch the shit out of the training bag. That was what he really needed.

Only after some time did he realize that in this stupid skirmish with the boys, he brought up the subject of Taehyung. Apparently, the boy's extraordinary personality was so stuck in his head that he subconsciously had to mention him. And not only as an example but even agree with his behavior. Behavior for which he has just called him out a few minutes ago.

Stop thinking about this shit-head. He automatically shook his head to clear his mind. He's had enough of this Monday, and he still had so many classes ahead of him. And the idea of skipping all of them was more and more appealing.

But somehow he made it to the lunch break. It wasn't an easy but rather agonal experience. Maybe that's why he was so glad to spend some time in the fresh air. This time Jungkook sat on a bench in the corner of the patio; it was too hot to lie down freely on the grass as he always did. The spot he found was perfect, providing some shade, and a light breeze to cool him. And what's most important he couldn't see the one bench from here. His bench. Still, he knew the boy was there. Jungkook could tell from the looks of the other students.

And those were the same looks that the Friday partygoers gave him from time to time. He already knew that the story about him and Lisa had spread absolutely everywhere. What is more, he could bet some of the gossips where about his morning encounter with the school's legend. Or more about how Jungkook treated him and that he dared to join the boy on his bench.

Nobody confronted Jungkook about those stories but he could hear the whispers.

Suddenly he felt somebody standing right above him. He didn't have to look up to know it was Jimin. He instantly recognized him by his shoes. Only his best friend would try to smuggle a few inches to his height by wearing shoes with a subtle heel.

Jungkook was still angry about how he was treated in the morning, but he couldn't stay angry forever. So he just sighed and finally looked at his friend.

Jimin shot him an apologetic look. He seemed uneasy and rather embarrassed as if he didn't know how to approach Jungkook. Even if the previously mentioned hangover caused the blond not to look the best today, his face still expressed more than it should have. And JK found it rather endearing.

"Gukkie, I'm sorry," he whispered. "We're both sorry."

Jungkook assumed the second apology was from Hoseok. Well, he would have preferred to hear it in person, but he was willing to accept both anyway.

But in case Jungkook would still be mad, Jimin pulled out not one, but two bottles of banana milk in front of him. JK knew it was perfidious bribery, but he couldn't refuse. Not when it came to banana milk.

So he just shook his head in disbelief and took the bottles from the boy. That meant he accepted the apology. Jimin immediately cheered up and quickly sat next to Jungkook on the bench.

"This party was just wild," he said, making a rather general remark. JK didn't know where it would lead though. "I won't look at alcohol until the end of the year."

"You mean until the next party?"

Jungkook knew Jimin was exaggerating and his aversion to alcohol was caused by an extensive hangover. But if there was another party on Friday, he'd be drinking as much as he did last weekend. It had to be like that and Jimin himself confirmed his words with a faint smile. Almost as faint as pale was the blond's face. Gosh, he must have really felt bad.

"Sooo... Nothing happened?"

JK rolled his eyes. He knew that as soon as Jimin managed to apologize to him, he would definitely ask about it. He just had to have first-hand information, straight from the source. That upset Jungkook a little bit, but in the end, it was just Jimin. His Jimin. He really liked the blond for who he was, even if his unique features were sometimes quite troublesome.

"Nothing happened," JK answered shortly.

"Aaaand... you don't want to talk about the rest of the party?

"Nope."

"And about what happened today's morning?"

"Nope."

As he thought, Jimin came to verify absolutely all the stories and rumors that were circulating about him. Again, there was nothing strange about it, but he was in no mood to talk. He was still angry and didn't want to take out his frustration on his friend, and he knew that if they started talking, that's what would happen.

He thought Jimin would have a harder time understanding that, but he just nodded in understanding and whispered a quiet cool, showing him that he didn't mind.

"I just... I must go to the gym. I'll go crazy if I don't punch something today."

"Oh, so it's that bad?"

"It's not. I just need it."

He really couldn't think of anything else today. With each class, he wanted to get out of the school more and more. And maybe he should have done it as soon as he thought about it. If Yoongi was skipping class because he wanted to sleep, he could sneak out for an extra stress-relieving workout too.

"Then let's go together after classes," Jimin suggested.

"You want to go? In such condition?"

Jungkook was genuinely surprised by such a proposal. We didn't believe Jimin was physically able to even work out. He was afraid that after some runs and pushups, he would puke all around the gym. And that would be one embarrassment too many.

"Trust me. If I don't do something with myself today, I'll be hungover till next week."

JK wasn't convinced but decided that Jimin knew himself and his body better than him, so he didn't protest in the end. He even enjoyed the thought of spending the afternoon with his friend. He hadn't done it for a long time, and such a casual outing would definitely lift his spirits. And that's what he needed. 

Chapter Text

The whole day started pretty bad. Jungkook overslept and had no time to even grab his beloved banana milk from the fridge. It had been raining quite heavily since early morning so he had no other choice than to go to school by the crowded bus instead of his beloved motorcycle. Of course, he missed the right bus and had to wait for another one. That is why he was soaked to the skin while walking late to his first class. Fortunately, his literature teacher was quite understanding, unlike the hated mathematician. If he had math first, he certainly would not come out of it alive.

The day passed by extremely slowly. JK was sleepy all the time and couldn't focus on anything. Maybe because the weather outside was still gloomy, gray, and awful and it made him unusually moody. He hated similar days even though the sun wasn't his best buddy either.

And he had this weird feeling since he woke up but he couldn't name the reason for it.

The only thing that kept him going was tryouts. He hadn't played seriously in a long time, for various strange reasons. That's why he was a little nervous, stressed even, but in a good way. He could feel the adrenaline buzzing inside his veins each time his thoughts drifted toward basketball. It was the only reason he stayed awake during physics. He wanted to end the day as quickly as possible and just burst into the school's gym.

And finally, that time had come.

Jungkook sighed heavily as he got his gym bag out of his locker inside which there was everything he needed to play. He swung it over his shoulder, but a moment later he felt someone bump into him quite aggressively knocking the bag out of his hand and making it fall to the floor with a loud thud.

When Jungkook looked up to see who was brave enough to mess with him, Yoongi leaned against the lockers beside him with a similar loud thud. The boy adjusted his cap, shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and gave him a weary look. Out of all people at this school, he was probably the only one who could treat Jungkook just like that without him wanting to fight back. Well, one day even Jungkook would have enough and snap, but today wasn't that day.

JK wasn't in the mood for mindless jostling, so he ignored Yoongi's odd behavior and simply bent down to pick up his bag. However, Jimin, who suddenly appeared on the other side, was the first one to catch it.

"Sorry. He's weirdly hyperactive today," Jimin apologized for his mate's behavior while giving Yoongi a reproachful look which the boy obviously ignored.

"Everyone's a little hyperactive today," Jungkook noticed. "Which is weird. It's grey, it's raining, and yet people are full of energy, buzzing around as if something has happened. I don't understand. What is it about?"

Something didn't feel right from the beginning. He noticed a strange movement among the students. They were talking more than usual, gossiping and whispering like never before. He thought maybe it was just him who paid more attention to it. The weather forced all the students inside the building; they couldn't spread across the patio as they usually did during lunch breaks. So maybe that was the natural reason for more conversation between them.

And until the lunch break, JK was under impression that he just made things up. However, the later it was, the weirder this whole chit-chatting got. He figured Jimin would definitely know what was going on. And he wasn't wrong.

The blond grimaced a little, biting his lip. It looked as if he was wondering if he should tell Jungkook what was going on or not. Only when JK raised his brow waiting for an answer, Jimin finally sighed.

"It's because of Kim Taehyung."

Jungkook stopped himself from rolling his eyes. Of course, it's about Kim Taehyug, he thought. Everything in this school is about Kim Taehyung.

Now he knew why Jimin was so hesitant with telling him the truth. After yesterday, the boy's topic became some kind of taboo between them. Jungkook had no intention to explain the party or the bench incident, but he knew Jimin would eventually ask. He didn't want to make a big fuzz about it, so he decided to show some interest at least.

"What about him?"

"He didn't show up today."

Jungkook waited for the rest of the story but surprisingly it never came. He turned to Jimin and looked at him expectantly as if trying to force him to complete the rest of the sentence. Only then did he realize that was all he wanted to say.

He didn't show up today. That was all? The school lived with this one piece of completely useless information? How was it possible? They clearly must have gone mad. It was a very unhealthy obsession with the completely wrong person. He wondered if they would care as much if they knew what Taehyung really was like.

"Truly fascinating, indeed," Jungkook added sarcastically and this time he couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes.

"No, no, you don't understand," Jimin protested. "He has had perfect attendance for two years, never missing a single day, a single lesson even. And suddenly he doesn't show up? Without any reason? That's suspicious, to say the least. If it was a doctor's appointment, he would be there by now. And he doesn't have any final exams or competitions today. I checked the dates."

Jungkook gave Jimin a curious look, though he was more surprised by what he had just heard. It was way too much. He knew Jimin would do a lot to get the latest and most shocking rumors, but he thought there were some limits. In the end, he was clearly wrong.

And he wondered again what was so fascinating about Taehyung's absence. Why was it so hard to accept? People couldn't live without looking at the boy at least once a day? Without seeing the unrealistic image of perfection in form of a boy lounging on a bench in the sun? All in all, they should be happy he wasn't at school for once. It meant one day without caring about the one-flaw rule, right?

"You should stop living his life and find something else to focus on. Leave this man be." JK shrugged and glared at Jimin because he knew Yoongi didn't give a damn about this whole situation.

But such actions only made Jimin more suspicious, so he asked, "Why are you so defensive about it?"

"I am not. I just don't get why everybody's so obsessed with him."

JK shrugged and turned to his locker to close it. He really did not understand.

And he didn't want to start this conversation because it lead to nowhere anyway. He knew Jimin won't convince him otherwise, and he wasn't about to reveal Taehyung's oddly specific character to his friend either. There was a high possibility that no one would ever believe him with everybody being so starstruck with the boy. It pissed him off, that Taehyung got away with almost everything because of his above-average appearance. Hell, even when he wasn't at school, people were still talking about him. It was as if he had cast a magic spell on them all.

Fortunately, Jungkook didn't fall for it.

"Tryouts are today?" Yoongi asked suddenly and JK was glad that he changed the topic. He had enough conversations about walking perfection for today.

"In half an hour."

"Good luck, then."

"I don't need that."

"You do actually."

Such a remark made Jungkook look at Yoongi suspiciously. He wasn't trying to show off; he was simply sure of his abilities. And maybe, but only maybe, he was also slightly cocky about it. That's why he wanted to know why Yoongi didn't see the same thing in him.

"And why is that?"

"Let's say the team's captain is quite an unusual persona."

Those were pretty rare words coming from Yoongi which could only mean something was up. Nevertheless, JK went for a rather bold and playful question. He liked teasing Yoongi, though he was aware that one day it can't end really badly for him.

"So just like you?"

Yoongi looked him over and then nodded with a lazy smirk on his lips. "Just like me."

"But for real," Jimin chimed in. "This man is huge. He's like a monster but without a tail."

He spread his arms wide and pretended to be someone three times his size. It looked pretty funny, but it definitely spoke to Jungkook's imagination. As it turned out, the captain of the school's team had to be quite a characteristic person, and from what he managed to determine, a well-respected one. And if so, how was it possible that he hasn't seen him yet? Why hadn't either of the boys introduced them yet?

"If you say so, I better be going then." Jungkook adjusted the bag over his shoulder. "I have to prepare."

"I'm rooting for you!" Jimin smiled and gently squeezed JK's arm. "I mean. We're rooting for you, right?"

He looked expectantly at Yoongi, who seemed still unimpressed by the whole situation. When the boy saw the blond staring at him, he finally sighed, rolled his eyes, and only muttered something under his breath. Maybe it wasn't anything specific, but for Jungkook it was enough; he didn't expect anything more from Yoongi. He knew that the white-haired boy was fond of the team, so he had to root for amazing players like JK to join, right?

Therefore, Jungkook sent the boys a faint smile and waved them goodbye, heading toward the gym.

He absolutely adored the moment when he took the first step walking into new places, especially sports halls. He had to examine everything carefully, feel the atmosphere of a place, feel its history, feel all the spilled tears and sweat on the court. Each place had its unique aura and this one was no exception.

He could feel the spirit of sports and competition from the very first second he spend inside. The school's biggest pride was the basketball team and it was pretty obvious from the start. Apart from the basketball court, enormous scoreboard, and capacious bleachers, there were also a lot of posters, flags, and mementos with the school's colors. It all looked so professional. JK had the feeling as if he was on the court of one of the top teams and not an ordinary high school team.

He looked up, just above the scoreboard, where the jerseys with the names of the most outstanding students from the team's history were displayed. He was convinced he saw at least one of these names somewhere on the TV. The rest meant nothing particular to him, though he was the most curious about the last jersey on the left.

Other jerseys had a different cut, depending on the years of their use. In addition to outstanding players, one could also learn about the history of changes in their outfits. And the last one looked identical to the one the team played last season. It could only mean that one of her current players got this honor. It was a rarity to see somebody being named the legend while still playing for the team. Jungkook had to desperately know who the person was.

He stared at the jersey with a hint of nostalgia. He wondered if his basketball career would have gone differently had he stayed in Atlanta. Maybe his name would be on that shirt, and he'd be the one drowning in proposals from the scouts? Maybe he would be sure of what he wanted to do in life? Maybe he wouldn't be a senior who wanted to grab the last opportunity to play professionally. What went wrong?

JK sighed and shook his head. He remembered this place perfectly well. It has changed since the last time he played here but the atmosphere was just the same. He felt the same as three years ago when he went for the tryouts for the first time. Except that the last time when the captain pinned the list of accepted players on the board, he was sitting on the plane to Atlanta.

"Are you here for tryouts?"

He heard a voice behind him and immediately turned around. He flinched a little because he thought he was alone all that time. There was still some time before the tryouts, and while he saw a couple of other candidates heading to the locker rooms, he felt a little shy that he had been caught admiring the sports hall alone.

And as it turned out, one of the guys was clearly watching him from afar. The boy took a few steps to come closer to Jungkook, who couldn't look away from a newcomer. He wore a blue jacket with the school's team logo. He had to be one of the players and it was obvious not only from his outfit but also from how he was built. The guy was tall, his shoulders were wide, his chest puffed and his stance was so stable that he almost looked like a tree. The man was huge, like a true monster, and if what Jimn told him was true, Jungkook must have bumped into the team's captain.

Jungkook finally nodded in response to which the boy smiled under his breath, but frowned anyway.

"You're not a freshman, are you?" he asked though the question was rather unnecessary since both of them already knew the answer.

"I'm a senior," Jungkook clarified. "I've just got transferred here."

"Mmm. I see." The boy took a few steps closer, still hiding his hands inside the pockets of his jacket. "You're good?"

Jungkook scoffed. "Try me."

His answer made the boy smile even wider. He slightly licked his lips and removed his hands from the jacket's pockets, just to show them inside those in his gray shorts.

"I like that attitude of yours."

Jungkook had to grimace. What was it about? Attitude had nothing to do here—he came to play. To prove he was worthy of playing in the team. To have some fun, to see how well other players were, how good the team was, and how good the other contestants were. Not to talk and put some weird theoretical scenarios.

"And I thought that the purpose of tryouts is to try. If you recruit people only by asking questions and checking their attitude then I don't believe your team is anyhow good."

Jungkook shrugged and nonchalantly put his hands into the pockets of his jeans. At first, he wanted to keep those unpleasant remarks to himself, just not to make a bad first impression on the captain. But in the end, he decided not to hold back, as he always did. He didn't want to hide his straightforward and feisty persona, especially not from somebody who deserved a piece of his mind. Maybe, just as the boy said, such an attitude was more than welcomed on the court. And if not he didn't want to belong to the team of fake and untalented people. It wasn't his goal.

"Trust me, my team is good."

"But it can be better."

This time he already meant himself as the special addition to the team, which he signaled a moment later by pointing a finger to his face. The white-haired boy shook his head in disbelief, but finally grinned again. Only from up close Jungkook saw that the boy had two adorable dimples which were such a contrast to his powerful stance.

"I'm Namjoon."

The white-haired boy extended his hand. Only then did Jungkook realize it was his name which was displayed on that mysterious jersey. And just like that, he stood face to face with one of the best players this school has ever produced. That somehow made JK even more hyped out for these tryouts.

"Cool." JK shook his hand. "I'm Jungkook."

"Already know that," Namjoon admitted, taking Jungkook by surprise. "Might have heard from a certain someone you'll be here and I checked you out."

The boy smiled victoriously as if seeing Jungkook surprised was his plan all along.

"You had an interesting record with your team back in Atlanta. At least from your freshman year. You were named the most promising player during nationals. And to make it that far only in your first year of high school? Impressive."

Jungkook was again surprised by the accuracy with which he was checked by the boy. He thought he would get into the team anonymously or rather he hoped it would go like that. Besides, he didn't think that his earlier achievements, which were only from his freshman year, maybe the beginning of the sophomore year as well, would count here. What was way more important for others was him leaving the team shortly after.

That's why he was sure that the boy would put a stigma on his almost two years break from basketball sooner or later.

And it came way sooner.

"Hope you still remember how to play after such a break," Namjoon added after some time. "Hope you're at least half as good as you were back then because if you're not, you're immediately out for saying shit about my team. And I'll kick you out myself."

The last words came with a surprisingly strict tone. Namjoon somehow looked dead-ass serious and if a human gaze could kill, it would be this one for sure. Jungkook couldn't understand why the boy was so protective of his team. It seemed unnecessary and rather unusual even for the best team captains. Maybe in the higher leagues, it was more common but still weird. Team spirit was essential, however, Jungkook didn't want to be babysat by this guy.

"Let's see if you can," Jungkook said confidently.

Namjoon gave him an angry look, but that was exactly what Jungkook wanted to see. He wanted to provoke him, otherwise, the duel wouldn't make any sense. They both had to take him seriously, and there's nothing more important than a personal feud.

Jungkook liked challenges and although he knew he was about to face the best player in the school, he still wanted to do it. He didn't want to be tested by any other player, and some of them slowly started to fill the sports hall. Go big or go home. And he didn't want to go home today.

Namjoon snorted and took off his jacket which he tossed somewhere on the ground. It only meant he was up for the challenge, and apparently, the boy did not do it very often. The reaction of the rest of the boys spoke for itself. It must have been a truly unusual sight. That only made Jungkook smirk. This was the challenge he had been waiting for.

In one second, Namjoon sent the ball toward the boy with such force that if Jungkook didn't have good reflexes, he would definitely get hit. He caught it firmly in both hands, then, without letting go of it, threw his bag on the bleachers. He quickly adjusted the sleeves of his shirt, rolling them up so that they did not bother him. There was no time to change clothes. The challenge was here and now, so with a smirk on his lips, he followed Namjoon to the court.

The first moments of their duel were solely to get acquainted with the opponent's skills. Both played rather calmly, and correctly, to check the strengths and weaknesses of the other. Only after a while, they started taking it more seriously, with proper strategies and plans to win.

Jungkook wanted to show his best features right away, maybe to take Namjoon by surprise. So he rapidly squeezed past the boy to reach the basket and confidently scored some points. He couldn't help but smile triumphantly as he managed to outsmart the boy. Namjoon wasn't happy about it and a moment later, very determined, he took the ball from Jungkook and in the blink of an eye he put it in the basket himself. JK didn't even have time to react properly, and the ball freely bounced off the floor.

This time it was Namjoon who seemed pleased with himself and gave Jungkook a cheeky wink; JK wasn't the only one who knew some tricks. Namjoon wanted to show the boy where he belonged, and he wasn't going to go easy on him. Quite the opposite actually.

This only motivated Jungkook even more. Now he certainly couldn't lose. He was doing his best, still, Namjoon was a tough opponent. The white-haired boy had the size and height advantage over him, but Jungkook had a few tricks of his own. The ones that could not be learned on the court among rigid rules.

The duel was taking longer than usual because neither of them wanted to give up and fought as if their lives depended on it. And the two top players giving their best on the court only gathered a lot of attention. Other players and onlookers cheered both of them, although Namjoon got a lot more applause. Probably from his teammates.

Jungkook wanted to silence them so badly and he could do it with this last try. Only one throw was enough to seal his victory. And he knew he could do it. He made the perfect plan, and it had to work. Fortunately, Namjoon let himself be tricked and JK immediately found an open space. All he had to do was reach it. From there, the throw couldn't have been easier.

And just when he thought he had won, at the last second, out of nowhere, Namjoon's hand appeared right in front of him and he had no time to dodge it. The ball disappeared from his hand, and his chest met the boy's huge forearm. Jungkook bounced off it quite painfully and fell to the ground.

At first, he heard a loud thud; it was his ass hitting the ground. Seconds after he heard the ball bouncing off the wooden floor. JK followed it with his gaze but there was nothing he could do. Namjoon made the easiest throw in his life sealing his victory and Jungkook's defeat.

JK was furious. He lost, and he hated losing. He ended up on the ground and he could feel how sore his ass was from the unpleasant encounter with the floor. But it was still less painful than being humiliated like that in front of all the team members and other new potential players. How sweet. Astounding even.

It was a complete disaster. He couldn't stop himself from cursing under his breath. However, he was sure that everyone in the hall heard him well. Since the end of their duel, everyone turned dead silent. That is how serious this whole show was.

Namjoon leaned over Jungkook and offered him a helping hand. The boy towered over him just as he had on the field just a moment ago. However, JK saw that he, too, looked tired. His hair was messy, and a few drops of sweat ran down his neck.

Nevertheless, Namjoon was smiling and Jungkook had to do the same in the end. Despite losing, he enjoyed sparring with the team captain; it was a demanding but exciting and professional play. Just as he wanted it to be from the very beginning. Deep down in his heart, he was glad that he finally had the opportunity to play at such a level. He has been missing it lately.

Jungkook clacked his lips but finally grabbed Namjoon's hand. The boy helped him stand up, however, he didn't let go of JK's hand immediately. He squeezed it tightly and gave him a sterned but understanding look. In such a way, they both recognized each other as hella good and skilled players, admitting that what they had just presented was a piece of excellent basketball.

"Sorry, bae, that's how we do it here," Namjoon smirked, which only made Jungkook roll his eyes sarcastically.

"Now I know why they call you a monster."

"But only on the court. Inside I'm a huge softie."

Somehow Jungkook couldn't believe that. And the fact that he just admitted it at loud, in front of everyone? Strange. It was either a joke, or the boy had amazing self-confidence and charisma. However, just one look at Namjoon was enough for JK to say he had all of these features. So maybe the boy really had the calm side of him, if he claimed there was one. Jungkook wondered what it looked like though.

"We're good?" JK asked though he had a good feeling about their relationship. It already felt like they were bros for life.

"Yeah, totally," Namjoon cheered up. "Come here every day after classes. We train then. It would be a pleasure to pass some balls with you."

"Likewise."

They stood there for a moment, not really knowing what to do with each other. People kept staring at them, so Namjoon finally turned to his teammates and ordered them to take care of the other newcomers and actually do the tryouts. The silence immediately turned into big chaos; students began to change clothes, run everywhere, and ask tone of questions. Fortunately, the rest of the team managed to take care of everything, so Jungkook and Namjoon could sit freely in the stands.

JK took out the bottle of water from his bag and drank it all in almost one go. He only glanced at the sports clothes he had inside. There was no time to change for the sudden challenge. Maybe he would have won if had worn his lucky shoes?

"You played street basketball, am I right?" Namjoon asked out of a sudden, though the question didn't surprise Jungkook. After all, the boy was right. Somebody with such skills had to notice it sooner or later.

"I did."

"I thought so. Your one-on-one game is pretty strong, maybe too aggressive sometimes, but still quite challenging for classically trained people. You use some quite unusual techniques. It was obvious you didn't learn it at school." Namjoon sent him a telling look. "But I like it. Hope you can include them in the team's tactics as well."

Jungkook nodded. His style must have changed a lot since the last time he played for the team, there was no doubt about it. When he quit the team, he found himself playing on the streets of Atlanta from time to time. Though he usually played alone, sometimes he also played in teams, but with no more than three people. And there was no one to judge his technique or strategy there; nobody cared about it. The most important thing was a victory, not the pure and beautiful basketball.

So maybe it was good to go back to his roots and find himself on the court and not on the street? Technically yes, but this kind of basketball was also a part of him, no matter how hard he wanted to go back to professional playing. Back in Atlanta, such duels reassured him that he hadn't completely abandoned his beloved hobby. He only slightly modified it to suit his life at that time.

"If you can keep up with such tactics, we can think about it," JK responded quite cockishly but this time he knew he could do so.

Namjoon just smiled and shook his head in disbelief. He just raised his brow and nudged Jungkook on the shoulder. "Gosh, Yoongi was right. You're tough."

That made the raven-haired boy turn to him almost immediately. "He really said that?"

"I was surprised as well."

It was the strangest thing he heard today, and he has heard a lot.

Jungkook and Yoongi weren't close friends. In fact, they only saw each other during math classes, where they both complained and cursed the teacher together, or when he sometimes bumped into Jimin who he was talking to the boy at that time. In every other situation, he saw Yoongi either minding his own business or minding others' businesses, though making them a little more complicated. He indeed was a bully.

The only thing that could impress Yoongi enough to call him tough was their first meeting. Maybe then he proved he's worthy of his attention. Apparently, flipping him off was what could place him high in the boy's hierarchy. So the risk paid off after all. Still, he couldn't believe what he heard.

"Are you two also on speaking terms?" JK asked, curious about the relationship both boys shared.

Namjoon smirked, hearing this specific way of naming the most valuable relationships for Yoongi. "Yep, I have this privilege."

That would explain why Namjoon knew he was going for the tryouts and had a reason to take a look at his past achievements. Yoongi must have told him about it before.

"He said he's quite fond of your team. Did he use to play as well?"

"Oh, for sure he did. And he's hella good. Despite his height, we've never had a better shooting guard than him."

Huh? That was interesting. Didn't Yoongi say himself that he doesn't like to move without a clear purpose? Then how come he not only used to play in the team but also was one of its best players, according to Joon. And since he was a captain, JK trusted his judgment. And if he was such an exceptional player then why he was a school bully now?

"Then why is he not on the team anymore?"

There was an oddly long silence after that question. Namjoon looked like he knew the answer but didn't really want to share it. And that itself was pretty suspicious. Something had to be up.

"I guess you already know about his not-so-friendly reputation," Namjoon sighed and added hesitantly, "Not many people want a such person to represent our school, you know?"

And it actually made a lot of sense. Given the boy's rather explosive nature, keeping him on the court could be quite dangerous, both for the opponent and his team. Maybe a similar situation has already happened? Maybe that's why he's not allowed to play anymore? It was a kind of punishment for him? Or maybe the rest of the players just didn't want him on the team? Maybe they were scared as well? There were so many possibilities.

However, Jungkook did not ask for more details; he was under the impression that he would not get anything more out of Namjoon. The boy didn't seem eager to talk about it either, so JK decided to let go and slightly change the subject.

"So how come you two managed to gossip about my past?"

Hearing this question, Namjoon brightened considerably and crossed his arms on his chest. It only made him look wider and way more packed than he really was. So much so that Jungkook had to stare at his muscles until he heard the boy's response.

"Well, we know each other since we were little kids. Technically, I was the very first person he was on speaking terms with."

It only made Jungkook smile a little. He tried to imagine both boys as kids and it wasn't the easiest thing to do. Namjoon because it was hard to see him as a small and not-so-packed boy, and Yoongi because it was rather challenging to imagine him as the calm, cute, and unproblematic one. Either way, he wondered how they got to know each other since they grew up to be quite interesting personas. In many ways.

But what surprised him again was Yoongi or more the people he surrounded himself with. Or at least those he was on speaking terms with. It was a rather peculiar group. He, Namjoon, Jimin? If Jimin then maybe Hoseok as well? It was hard to find a weirder five, but maybe that was the point of these speaking terms. Jungkook wondered who else could belong to such a pack?

"Hey Joon!"

Suddenly they heard someone calling the white-hair boy from the court. It was one of the players who clearly needed Namjoon for something. Only then Jungkook realized that the tryouts were still on and the boy was needed as a team captain. He should be testing and looking at others instead of chatting with him on the bench.

"Ah, I'm sorry. They need me." Joon send him an apologetic smile and Jungkook instantly noticed two cute dimples on the boy's cheeks. Maybe he really was a monster only on the court.

"Don't worry. We'll have plenty of time to talk, right?

Jungkook shrugged. He didn't care about the overly long conversation just now although he enjoyed it a lot. Somehow it was easy to talk to Namjoon and they hit it off pretty easily. He was glad to meet someone like that and was even happier to belong to the team of which he was the captain. JK had a feeling that he was a part of something legendary-to-be.

"Sure thing!" Namjoon smiled again. "Don't forget to come for the training. See ya tomorrow."

He waved goodbye and seconds later he joined others on the court. Jungkook watched the other candidates for a while, but in the end, he quickly packed his things. He didn't have to stay any minute longer. He did his part. He was on the team. And that is what mattered the most.

He hurried, so maybe he could catch Jimin in the parking space. The weather was awful and it could start raining again at any given time, so he was hoping for a friendly ride home; the blond lived not that far away from him. That's why he just threw the bag over his shoulder and left the sports hall with a smile on his face.

Finally, everything started to fall into place.

Chapter Text

"You bastard!" Jungkook shouted as he was leaving the school's building.

He did it to catch the attention of Jimin and Yoongi who stood just in front of the entrance. He was glad he caught them on time before they went home. Seeing how dark and clouded the sky was, he really needed the ride.

Jungkook quickly joined them and almost immediately turned to Yoongi. He wanted to let the boy know that the bastard thing was addressed to him for talking behind his back. JK needed to confront him but it was probably the adrenaline, which was still in his veins after the duel with Namjoon, that made him do something as brave as nudging Yoongi on the shoulder.

"You sold me."

The white-haired boy almost immediately stepped back and removed JK's finger from his arm, only to hiss in the end, "Don't touch me."

The reaction reminded him of an infuriated cat who doesn't want to be disturbed. It looked as funny as it was serious, and JK couldn't decide which of these two emotions he liked better. He knew how badly things can go while teasing Yoongi, but somehow he couldn't stop himself; especially not now when he was in such a good mood. Maybe that's why playing a little with a kitty sounded so attractive.

He grinned but before he could add any playful remark, Jimin cut in with a question, "What happened? Did you get into the team?"

"I did," JK responded proudly. "I even played with Namjoon."

This confession left both of the guys quite surprised. They did not expect Jungkook to play with the team captain on the first try. This only confirmed Jungkook's previous suspicions that Namjoon rarely spared with newcomers, if ever. Maybe he was an exception after all?

"Oh, that's amazing!" Jimin cheered. "I'm so proud of you, Gukkie!"

"Yeah, yeah, thanks," JK tried to calm him down a little; he didn't need a grand celebration when all he did was a bare minimum. "But the thing is, he snitched on me."

Jungkook nudged Yoongi on the shoulder once more, this time quickly taking his finger back. Maybe for the better because the boy immediately turned to him with great anger spread on his face.

"I did not snitch on you," Yoongi growled. "Namjoon asked, I answered. That's all."

"Sounds exactly like snitching to me."

Jungkook couldn't let go and that was his mistake. He took it a step too far for Yoongi's liking and there was no coming back from it. Before JK could react, Yoongi grabbed him by the collar and forcefully pushed him toward the wall; his head inches from hitting it quite painfully.

"All I can snitch are some nice punches if you still want to play that way," he hissed, still pinning him to the wall.

JK was a tall and well build teenager and yet visually smaller Yoongi managed to toss him around without the slightest problem. Just as if he was drunk Jimin.

Nevertheless, Jungkook had no intentions of continuing the fight, or rather starting the serious one, so he simply put his hands up in defense. He was aware of his own skills and capabilities, hell he was good at boxing and fighting, but he had a weird feeling that a fight with Yoongi would be quite difficult. Part of him wanted to find out what it would be. But the reasonable part of him didn't want to have a broken nose and a broken bond with the boy. It was better to keep the speaking terms with Yoongi as they were so important to him. That's why JK gave up immediately.

"No, thank you," Jungkook said in tiny, just a second before Jimin grabbed Yoongi's elbow and pulled him away.

"Stop it," the blond said firmly and stepped between them. "Both of you."

Yoongi gave him one more sterned look before scoffing quite loudly. Then he forcefully freed his arm from Jimin's grasp and adjusted his cap, which slightly slipped with his sudden movements. Jungkook was sure that the boy would spit on him or the ground just next to his shoes; Yoongi looked like he really wanted to do it. But in the end, he only turned around and stormed off.

Jungkook took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair, which still was quite wet from the training session. That was close, he thought.

Jimin watched Yoongi go and only when the boy disappeared around the corner, he turned to his best friend.

"I told you not to provoke him," he reminded him, rather disappointed with his behavior. "It can get really serious really fast, and you don't want it to get serious."

"I'm sorry?" JK didn't quite know how to respond.

"It's... okay," Jimin sighed. "Just be careful next time."

Jungkook nodded thoughtfully and fixed his gaze on the floor. Before he could even think about this whole situation he heard thunder, which made both of the boys look up at the sky. It was all black and the heavy rain or even a storm was expected to come in no time at all.

"I would like to give you a ride since it's probably going to rain," Jimin started uncertainly and continued with more remorse in his voice, "but I promised it first to Yoongi and I'm afraid you're going to completely destroy my car if I let you two inside."

Obviously, Jungkook wasn't happy about it, but he understood Jimin and his concerns. Besides, maybe walking back home in the rain was payback for how he treated Yoongi in the first place. He began to regret he was so feisty. If he had kept his mouth shut, he would have had a ride back home. Damn it.

But he couldn't let it show to Jimin, so he said with fake enthusiasm, "That's fine. Maybe I need a cold shower."

Jimin didn't buy it at all but he couldn't do anything about it either. So he simply smiled faintly and repeated a few congrats, until he finally sprinted toward his car, hearing another thunder. Jungkook sighed, adjusted his backpack, and without further ado, he headed toward the nearest bus stop.

By the time he was on the final course home, it was rather dark, humid, windy, and cold. All he wanted to do was to reach his apartment as soon as possible and take a relaxing hot shower before jumping under a warm blanket on his sofa and watching some basketball matches. That's why when he felt a few heavy raindrops landing on his cheeks, he tightly pulled the hood over his head and quickened his pace.

He lived in a rather quiet neighborhood, quite far from the center but not far enough to call it the suburbs. It hasn't changed much since the time he lived there, with only a few new buildings around. But the atmosphere and people were just the same as he remembered them. He could see himself with Jimin and other guys running around the blocks, playing some basketball, or just doing nothing and disturbing neighbors by playing music a little too loud.

It's good that his mother never sold the apartment but only rented it for a long time. Knowing her habits, it was quite unusual, but he couldn't complain. Apparently, back then fate already had its share in his story. Somebody up there knew he'd be back here in three years. The question remained, did they know he would come back here alone?

He shook his head and locked his gaze on the river down the bridge. Jungkook was never afraid of heights, though crossing the large steel bridge to the other side was always a bit of a challenge. He loved the riverside view from his balcony, though today it was a rather creepy one, with a dense fog raising over the ruffled water. Absolutely nobody could be seen walking around, contrary to sunny days when a lot of lovely couples attached these damned padlocks to the railings and took cute pictures of each other. But not today.

Today Jungkook's only hope was not to get completely wet when one of the careless drivers drives through standing water on the street and splashes him. But seeing how many puddles were there already, he had no chance of surviving.

The moment Jungkook took the first step on the bridge as if out of spite, the clouds decided to side with the drivers and simply poured out gallons of water from above. It was raining so much that he could barely see the tips of his shoes. He had to choose his next steps carefully so as not to drown in large puddles but after a while, he simply gave up. It made no difference; he was already completely wet.

He quickened the pace but was taken aback when somewhere in the middle of the bridge, he noticed a figure striding confidently toward the railing. He was surprised because he couldn't see anyone else walking in front of him, so the person must have been standing there for a while. He was puzzled by similar behavior because in such weather, one couldn't see the beautiful view anyway and it was rather advisable to return home quickly. Preferably just before catching a cold.

However, Jungkook was even more surprised when the figure firmly grabbed the steel structure of the bridge and climbed onto the railing. Their foot slipped a little while doing so, with their body swaying at the edge of the railing. There could only be one awfully horrible conclusion from such odd behavior.

Oh my god, the realization hit him. Oh my fucking god.

Jungkook felt a strange twinge in his heart and he instantly knew he had no intention of watching this tragic finale. Not here. Not in his beloved neighborhood. He just couldn't let it happen.

He immediately sprinted toward the railing, ignoring the fact that he had dropped his bag into a puddle. He didn't care, he had to make it before the tragedy could happen. He silently begged all the gods and forces of the world to listen to him just this once and let him make it on time.

He was so damn afraid he would be a second too late. That he would touch the wet sleeve of the person's shirt but would not be able to catch it. That it would slip out of his fingers. That he would watch the fall from up close.

He had to make it on time.

So JK sped up even more and almost crashed into the figure on the railing, grabbing it tightly by the hip. The impetus was so great that for a moment he thought both of them would fall over but luckily the opposite happened. Jungkook pulled with all his strength and it was enough for them to fall on the wet sidewalk. He was right above the shocked figure, pinning it down with his body. He knew it couldn't be comfortable, but falling into a cold river would have been even worse.

Jungkook panted heavily from the great effort he put into his actions. Fortunately, it all paid off. He made it on time. He had succeeded in defeating the attempt. But it wasn't the end.

As it turned out, the figure was quite a strong man who began to struggle, wanting to get out of Jungkook's firm grip, yet JK couldn't allow it. He knew that letting go of the man meant he could try it once again or even worse, succeed. And Jungkook couldn't let it happen. Not on his watch.

He found some additional strength and used it to calm the enraged man. Jungkook firmly grabbed his wrist, and with his right knee immobilized the man's hip. There was no way he would get away from being pinned down like that, yet he still didn't want to give up the fight.

"What are you doing? Let me go!" the man shouted, frantically fighting to free himself from the tight grip.

Only then did Jungkook realize he knew this voice.

At once he stopped struggling with the man; he was too shocked to continue. As if the realization took away all of his strength for a moment. Surprisingly it made the man stop for a second as well. He shook his head to remove the wet ruffled hair that fell onto his forehead, blurring his vision, and Jungkook already knew that mysterious, black eyes were hidden just beneath it. The very same eyes that he looked into with no little disgust yesterday.

Their eyes met for the first time and it took them only a split second to understand whom they were really fighting with. It was at that moment that it dawned on Jungkook that the person he had stopped from his tragic end was none other than Kim Taehyung.

Jungkook was speechless. He supposedly knew what he should do now, but subconsciously he started to panic. His throat went dry, even though outside he was dripping wet; the hold on the boy's wrist suddenly loosened a little, not wanting to touch him more than it was needed, as he shouldn't really be doing that. He couldn't look into his empty eyes and pale cheeks, so different from what he saw yesterday. The boy he was holding right now looked more like a ghost.

They may not have been close with Taehyung, quite opposite actually, but after their recent stormy conversations, he felt that they were certainly not indifferent to each other. And that though paralyzed him a lot. Because this whole situation suddenly became personal. He felt more responsible, more engaged. It would have been easier with a complete stranger.

Not that he ever wanted to be a savior but he certainly never imagined saving Taehyung from making the biggest mistake in his life. What about the walking perfection image? How was it possible that someone considered so smart could think of doing such a stupid thing? What happened? Why?

He had so many questions but it wasn't the time for any of them. When he saw in Taehyung's even blacker than usual eyes a huge determination mixed with something akin to terror, he knew he had to do everything to keep the boy alive. Even if it meant struggling with him for the next hours.

But Taehyung had other plans. He took a moment of Jungkook's hesitation and made another attempt to free himself from his grip. He dealt with the realization of whom he faced faster, and as it was Jungkook, he started to fight twice as hard.

"I said let go of me!" he shouted again, trying to free his hands.

"I can't let you do that," Jungkook said firmly and adjusted his grip on the boy's wrists, which started to slip in the rain.

"Why? Why would you care?" Taehyung spat back. He wanted to sound confident, but his voice started to break. It only revealed how unstable and emotional he really was.

Somehow Taehyung was also right; in any other situation, Jungkook probably would not care and just let him be, just as everybody advised him to do. However, it was Kim Taehyung, the walking perfection himself, struggling with him on the sidewalk, fighting for his life. Jungkook could secretly hate the boy and his fake image, but under such circumstances, he couldn't pass by indifferently, he couldn't let him be. He just couldn't.

Jungkook released the boy's wrists and quickly put his hands on Taehyung's shoulders. By doing that he chained him to the ground even more and shook him a little as if he wanted to transfer some common sense into him. The boy looked at him confused, but all Jungkook needed was his attention. He wanted to make his message clear.

"I do care because there is nothing in your life bad enough to make you want to end it. I know sometimes it's shit but it's worth it to hold on a little bit longer. You have to trust me on that. I've been there."

These words lingered for a little longer, making both of them freeze in one place. The only thing between them was this damn rain, but neither of them cared about it anymore. Their eyes were locked on each other as if they created a special bond trying to speak without the words: Jungkook trying to convince the boy that whatever he wanted to do was not worth it, and Taehyung trying to understand what he just have heard. His gaze was uncertain but somehow hopeful. That was a good sign. It looked like the boy started to consider it but ultimately failed.

Suddenly Taehyung dropped his gaze and made an attempt to stand up. Jungkook immediately dogged it by putting even more pressure on his shoulders, making them land in the puddle again. The boy tried once again, but this time he did not struggle thoughtlessly and simply put his hands on Jungkook's forearm living a cold mark. JK was surprised by the delicacy with which Taehyung did it, so at first, he hesitantly looked at the boy's hand, and only then he fixed his uncertain gaze on his eyes.

"You have to let me do it," he begged. "Let me jump, please."

Never in his life had Jungkook heard such a desperate plea. Even if Taehyung was a strange specimen of falsehood and contradiction, this time he sounded deadly serious. As if this request came straight from his heart. And that was even worse. Even more tragic.

It made Jungkook completely paralyzed. He couldn't react even when Taehyung let go of his forearm and grabbed his sweatshirt with both hands. He squeezed it so tightly that Jungkook had to bend down, almost entirely closing the distance between them. Jungkook was helpless; he didn't know who was holding whom now.

"Please, let me... let me jump," he repeated even more desperately.

Every time Jungkook heard these words, he felt a freezing shudder coming down his spine. He could feel the cold raindrops pouring down his neck right behind his sweatshirt, and yet it wasn't what made his whole body shiver like that.

Taehyung begged him a few more times, but with each subsequent plea, his voice grew weaker and weaker, as if he was slowly giving up the fight himself. Jungkook didn't have to do much and he couldn't really force himself to act in any way; he was too stunned to do so. The image of the boy's despair and inner struggle with himself was almost unbearable for Jungkook to watch. He couldn't even imagine what was going on inside his head.

"Please, let me..." he tried once again, but this time he didn't have enough strength to finish.

Taehyung gave him one last tug on his sweatshirt and collapsed on his waist, in the very same place his hands were just a second ago. His body gave up and the boy simply cried out. The rain run through his thick curls, then mingled with his tears only to slowly fall on his pale cheeks. His chest quickly went up and down catching shaky breaths and his hands limped to both sides of his body as if he couldn't even hold them properly.

Taehyung looked so vulnerable and Jungkook had no clue how to help him. How to save him from the demons that took over him?

In the end, he decided there was one thing he could do. He simply put his hands around the boy, closing him in a tight embrace, and pulled him closer to his chest. Taehyung's body was weak and cold and if it wasn't for the shivers, JK would have thought the boy lost consciousness. Taehyung was shaking all over—partly because of emotions, partly because of the cold, and partly because he was still ugly crying.

Jungkook wanted to calm him down, so every now and then he gently stroked his arm with his free hand, trying to give him some comfort and warmth, though the latter one was rather hard to find in such conditions. He didn't do much but he doubted anything could help now.

He didn't even notice when his hand moved from the boy's shoulder to his neck, where it began to play with his curly hair. At first, he just slowly wound it on his finger but with time he gently brushed some stray locks away from his forehead and place them carefully behind his ear.

The gesture certainly did not calm Taehyung, but it did make Jungkook a little bit calmer. At this moment at least one of them should remain calm and be responsible, so Jungkook took it as a good excuse to slowly put his whole hand in the brunet's hair. He couldn't explain it, but he felt that it was where it should be now.

Jungkook didn't know how long they sat there on the wet ground but he didn't care. He would sit here forever if only it could stop the boy from trying it again.

He didn't even want to think what could have happened if he hadn't been walking this way home. If he hadn't fought with Yoongi, Jimin would have given him a ride home. By this time, he would have been already sitting on his favorite couch with a can of soda completely unaware of the tragedy happening on the bridge. He would peacefully sleep at night only to get the shocking news from someone at school tomorrow.

Such vision once again ran a cold shiver down his spine and he decided it was high time to get away from that goddamn bridge. He couldn't risk another accident. It was raining harder and harder with each minute, and he was freezing cold, same for the boy.

"Come on. You'll catch a cold if we stay here any longer," Jungkook whispered and slightly moved to give Taehyung more space. "I live nearby."

Jungkook watched the boy's reaction closely and tried to judge whether he would cooperate or still try to find the last strength to fight. He was counting on the first option, so he was glad when Taehyung nodded gently. Unfortunately, that was the end of the good news, because as soon as he looked into his black eyes, he saw nothing but emptiness. It was as if all the emotions, all these feelings he got inside, have completely evaporated. And that was a really heartbreaking sight.

Jungkook took a deep breath as if he was preparing for what was still ahead of him. But in the end, he stood up and quickly realized how wet he really was; he could feel his wet clothes weighing down on him and an ocean forming inside his shoes. His sweatshirt was all wrinkled, thanks to the boy who had left a lot of his tears on it as well. Only then did he realize he had left his bag somewhere halfway down the bridge. He had to come back for it, but he couldn't do it until he was absolutely sure that Taehyung would be safe.

He looked at the boy, who was still lifelessly sitting in a puddle. The tip of his jacket floated on its surface getting dirty with sand and mud. Same for the rest of his clothes and the longer he sat here, the worse it got. Therefore, Jungkook decided to shorten this wait and held his hand out in front of him, hoping that Taehyung would grab it.

And for the first time, Jungkook was not holding the boy in any way. He just stood over him waiting for him to stand up as well, but he physically did not touch him, pin him, or hold him down. The truth was if Taehyung wanted to run to the railing, there was no better moment to do it. And Jungkook was prepared for such a scenario but he hoped it would not happen. That Taehyung would simply take his hand and return to his apartment quietly.

Jungkook gave him a choice and was impatiently waiting for the answer.

But Taehyung wasn't looking at him, nor at his hand. He stared straight ahead at that damn railing or maybe at the gray mist that floated just above the river. It looked as if he was still considering the most tragic option. There was a strange longing inside his gaze like he was missing something and it made Jungkook uneasy. For a split second, he thought that everything he had done to save the boy would get wasted. Damn, he shouldn't have let him go.

He held his breath preparing for the worst and exhaled only when he felt Taehyung's cold hand squeezing his.

Chapter Text

JK locked his gaze on their tangled hands and without any hesitation helped the boy with standing up. Taehyung swayed a bit so Jungkook supported him with his shoulder; after all the struggles he must have completely lost his strength. Fortunately, he managed to take the next steps, so Jungkook simply guided him in the right direction—far away from the railing.

They walked in silence. With each step Taehyung seemed a little more lively, regaining some of his strength. He didn't tag along, just meekly followed Jungkook. Throughout the whole way back to his apartment Jungkook firmly held Taehyung's wrist. He was afraid that if he let go for a second, the boy would turn around and run back to the bridge. And he couldn't allow that.

He let go of the boy's hand only when they stood in front of his fourth-floor apartment. Jungkook took the keys out of his pocket and opened the door, letting Taehyung go ahead. The boy walked inside, slowly took off his shoes, leaving them in the hall, and took two shy steps toward the living room.

Jungkook closed the door behind him and couldn't help but shake the water off himself. He was shaking from the cold all the way home, but he couldn't show it in front of the boy. He had to be his support for a few moments and keep all his weakness hidden. Therefore, he waited until they reach the apartment. Here he could relax a little. But only a little.

He immediately took off his soaked black hoodie; it didn't make a huge difference, since his white T-shirt underneath was all wet anyway. It only made him shiver. When he poured a rather shocking amount of water from his shoes he realized how long has he been sitting in this damn puddle. Actually, they both have been sitting in it for way too long. Taehyung's shoes did not look any better.

Exactly, Taehyung. He was the most important now. Technically, the boy was always the one most important wherever he went but it wasn't the time to rant about his walking perfection persona. Jungkook quickly rubbed his hair with his hand, hoping to get rid of at least some of the water, and followed the boy.

He found Taehyung standing in the middle of the small living room, staring emotionlessly at the window, or perhaps at the darkness outside. His clothes were a little too big, and while Jungkook knew they were in his style, something seemed odd. The brown pants were way too long as the tip of the wet cloth scratched the floor. The same was for the sleeves of his jacket, which completely covered his already long hands. The outfit looked like it belonged to someone else, but in the present situation, Jungkook couldn't ask. Even though he really wanted to.

Taehyung looked like a lost child. And since Jungkook was the only adult around, he had to help the boy no matter what. 

"You can take a hot shower," Jungkook offered. "I'll give you something dry to change."

Taehyung turned over his shoulder and nodded gently. His eyes were still blurry and confused but they looked much more alive than before. So Jungkook decided to leave him alone in the room for a moment, even though he still doubted if he should.

Jungkook entered his bedroom without closing the door so that he could hear what was happening in the living room. Just in case. When he heard no suspicious noises, he went through his wardrobe, looking for something dry and suitable for the boy. He found one white oversized T-shirt, sports shorts, and a clean towel. He was lucky that he has done laundry recently.

He returned to the room and found Taehyung without his jacket, which he neatly hung on a hanger by the door. The boy was undoing the buttons of his white shirt. He did it slowly, his long fingers gently caressing each button as if he was afraid he might damage them. Well, there wasn't a lot to save; the shirt looked horrible anyway. The material was wet and muddy, but it stuck securely to the boy's body. Jungkook tried not to look at his broad shoulders, exposed collarbones, or the gold chain that dangled delicately around his neck.

But he couldn't help it. It was extremely hard to look away, even for a second. The boy did not have spectacular muscles, he was not athletic, and yet his body seemed to be perfect. So smooth and beyond beautiful.

His slightly curly hair straightened and stuck to his forehead and neck, still dripping with water. They were so black that they stood in perfect contrast with the boy's pale skin. Jungkook couldn't remember seeing him that pale, but given the circumstances and the cold they'd been sitting in for the last few minutes, the color made sense. Jungkook could bet their lips were just as blue and their hands were just as cold. When he saw a drop of water lazily running down the boy's neck, he felt an unpleasant shiver.

Jungkook finally approached the boy, handing him a pile of clothes. He did that just before Taehyung undone the third button of his already quite open shirt. JK didn't want to be caught staring, and that certainly would have happened if only the boy unbuttoned another one, or worse, taken off his shirt.

"Feel free to use anything you need," Jungkook said thinking of all the cosmetics he had in his bathroom, although there weren't many of them anyway. "But if you're not out in fifteen minutes, I'm walking in."

There was nothing potentially useful in the bathroom for the boy to finish his plan, nor it was easy to drown in the shower, but the world has heard about some crazy cases like that. Therefore, despite everything, Jungkook preferred to warn Taehyung that he was still watching him and his actions. That he wouldn't let him hurt himself.

Taehyung stared at Jungkook for a moment, letting his words sink in. His gaze and expression were completely emotionless, soulless. The black eyes were empty again, and the tightly pressed lips seemed to be silent forever. It looked really tragic, so Jungkook was truly concerned when the boy took the clothes prepared for him and went straight to the bathroom silently, leaving a wet trace on the floor behind him.

Jungkook immediately pressed against the door, listening to what was going on in the bathroom. He didn't hear anything suspicious, not even the doors being locked from the inside, which actually was a good sign—he could enter at any time. Though, he hoped it won't be needed.

The sight of relief escaped his mouth when he heard the water from the shower, but his heart was still pounding madly. He looked at the wooden clock hanging on the wall in the living room. The very same clock he gave his mother for her birthday a good eight years ago. He had never thought that he would use it to count down fifteen minutes of someone's life. And here he was.

He took a couple of deep breaths and ran his hands through his hair one more time, hoping that would stop them from trembling. It worked, but only for a while. He desperately needed to do something, just not to watch this damned clock in silence. It would drive him crazy.

So he began to look around the apartment making it as safe as possible. He didn't know how desperate Taehyung was to do it, so he tried to remove any potential temptations. Only then did he find himself in the kitchen preparing something hot to drink. The cup of tea was pretty much needed if he didn't want to have a runny the very next day. He assumed that Taehyung wouldn't turn down a cup of good tea either. If he comes here at all.

What are you even thinking about, dumbass? He will be here, he reassured himself.

And although he could repeat that everything would be fine over and over again, he was glancing nervously at the clock in the living room every now and then. He paced impatiently around the kitchen and got scared by the sudden squeal. He quickly realized it was only a kettle. With his heart in his mouth, he poured two teas, which wasn't easy to do with a shaking hand. The time was running out and he didn't want to intervene a second time. Though he was afraid he would have to.

He heard the bathroom door open exactly one and a half minutes before the agreed fifteen were up. Weight fell off his shoulders when he saw Taehyung in one piece, standing in the middle of the living room, vigorously drying his hair with a green towel; JK didn't think the boy had that much energy in him. But he couldn't complain. Seeing the boy like that made his heartbeat a little more stable and his breath a little bit calmer.

Taehyung stopped struggling with the towel, neatly folded it, and put it on the corner of the couch. Only then did he start looking around the apartment in search of its owner.

Jungkook was amazed. The boy stood in front of him barefoot in his white T-shirt almost covering his shorts. His hair was still wet but this time not because of the dirty rain. His beautiful waves were naturally curled and JK could smell his shampoo from a distance. He could even bet that the boy smelled exactly like his shower gel. His cheeks were already full of color and his lips were no longer blue. On the contrary. They had an amazing vivid pink color, and Jungkook couldn't help but think that he would like to add them to the list of his experiments.

He quickly shook his head. It was not the time for his imagination to kick in. Maybe under any other circumstances, he would let his fantasies run around for a little while. But perhaps in any other circumstances Taehyung wouldn't be standing in his living room. It was possible that he wouldn't be standing in anyone's living room ever again. And that thought made Jungkook shiver.

Taehyung shyly sat down on the chair that stood by the bar separating the kitchen from the rest of the living room. He rested his hands on the counter and began to look around the room, only to land his eyes on the mug of hot drink that Jungkook put in front of him. He smiled faintly, then grabbed the cup in both hands to warm them and lift it under his nose. The soothing smell of herbs gently calmed him down.

"You shouldn't have hidden the knives," he said in his low voice, without looking away from the cup. "I will not cut myself. I am terribly afraid of blood."

Jungkook didn't know what to say. He did not expect these words to be the first ones he would hear from the boy. Nor did he think he would be such a good observer. Because he was right. Jungkook hid all possible sharp things as a part of cleaning the apartment. He couldn't overlook such obvious things as knives. He didn't know if the fear of blood was a valid reason or another lie from the boy but for now, he decided to believe him.

"And you should take a shower. You look awful," Taehyung added and for a split second Jungkook could hear a sassy tone in this remark.

Once again, the boy surprised him. His attitude didn't suit the situation at all. It had nothing to do with what he experienced on the bridge or during that awkward soulless silence when they reached the apartment. It looked like the part of Taehyung's character that he was previously hidden had returned just as the vivid color on his lips. Or maybe he was just a very good actor? Because Jungkoook already knew he was. He couldn't fool him in this way.

"Don't worry. You can leave me alone. I'll not jump out of the window. "

His last words were said so carelessly that Jungkook could no longer stay silent. Downplaying the whole situation was eminently out of place. Couldn't the boy see how serious it was? It's not like everyone does that at least once a day, out of routine. He immediately put his hands on the counter, facing Taehyung, and gave him a sterned look.

"Why? Tell me why should I trust you?"

The truth was, Jungkook didn't trust him at all. He couldn't leave the boy alone for a few seconds because he was afraid of another stupid idea coming to his mind. And the stake was high, the highest possible—his whole life. His past, present, and future. Therefore, he could not let him go. Not yet.

Taehyung looked at him gently and muttered, "It's okay. I'm fine now."

That was the most insincere I'm fine he has ever heard.

"You're definitely not fine," Jungkook snorted and added more sharply than he originally intended, "Just a few minutes ago you begged me to let you jump out of the bridge. Why wouldn't you like to try it again? Why, just why should I trust you now?"

Jungkook's words echoed across the empty kitchen. He got angry unnecessarily, though he had a good excuse. He couldn't talk calmly with the boy who was so blatantly oblivious. As if he wasn't the one who tried to end his own life. As if the problem was much smaller than it really was. There was no point in hiding it right now. After all, Jungkook was the one who saved him.

He knew that it was all related somehow: the attempt, his behavior at school, his behavior now. Something was up. He just didn't know what yet. That is why he tried to refrain from further comments, despite the rising frustration inside him. It wasn't his feelings that were most important right now.

Jungkook sighed, trying to calm down, and only then he gave the boy a compassionate look. Perhaps a much calmer approach would force him to speak.

But Taehyung quickly escaped his carrying look and lock his gaze on his tea. Again. He gently stroked the cup with his long fingers, as if trying to draw more heat from it. It took some time before he opened his mouth again. However, this time his words were barely audible.

"I'm fine."

He repeated, but Jungkook still couldn't trust him. His I'm fine sounded awfully more like save me, and he couldn't just let it go.

The boy stared blankly at the few tea leaves swimming inside his cup as if they kept solutions to all of his problems. Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple. If it was, a few single tears wouldn't suddenly appear in the corners of his eyes. He tried to fight them off, but really couldn't. At first, they looked innocent but the image turned to a rather heartbreaking one when his whole eyes became watery. So when one of the tears was about to fall down his cheek, he let go of his cup and quickly rubbed his face.

"Ah, it's not... not like that," he tried to justify his actions. "I r-really am fine."

JK stopped himself from scoffing loudly. He didn't believe any word the boy was saying. There was no point in lying. Even his body gave him away. Why he was still pretending?

"Listen—" he started but was quickly cut off by Taehyung's question.

"Can I... can I stay here for tonight?"

It took Jungkook by surprise. First of all, Taehyung said it with a fake smile glued to his face. It was a rather unnecessary effort— his weak voice blew his cover anyway.

And secondly, Jungkook thought the answer was rather obvious; he wouldn't let the boy go anywhere at this time, weather and in such a state. Hell, he didn't want to leave him alone in a room for fifteen minutes to take a shower yet. How he was supposed to let him go home like that?

"Sure. I'll give you a warm blanket or you can sleep in my bed if you—"

"Blanket will be fine," Taehyung finished for him.

Jungkook looked at him uncertainly but finally nodded.

He liked his king-sized bed and the freedom he had sleeping in it. It was relaxing and most of the time he got up well-rested and full of energy. And right now the boy looked like he needed exactly that. A long night's sleep between soft and warm sheets might calm him down, so Jungkook was eager to give up his bed for one night. To be honest we even opted for that option just to make Taehyung feel a little better. Though he didn't really know what the boy needed at that moment.

In the end, he decided to honor his decision about choosing the couch and warm blanket. Somehow he knew that even if he tried to convince the boy otherwise, he would still refuse. So instead of starting the pointless discussion he just went to the bedroom to get the blanket. It was his favorite one and probably the only one he had at home. He gently put it on the couch and took the used green towel, which Taehyung placed there a few moments ago.

"It's really comfy, trust me," he said, laying a hand on a fluffy gray pillow. "You should get some rest. I'll take a shower now but if you need something just—"

"I'll be fine," Taehyung cut in once again.

At this moment Jungkook was more than sure that if he hears the world fine once more, he will go absolutely crazy. Because this situation was everything but fine and he couldn't understand why the boy kept trying to convince him otherwise.

But no matter how bad Jungkook felt about that he decided to trust the boy for a time being. He really needed to take a shower; his body was freezing more and more from every minute of wearing completely soaked clothes. That is why he finally nodded and rushed to the bathroom.

He tried to do everything as fast as he could to get back to the living room and keep an eye on Taehyung if necessary. The boy has been calm for a while and probably wasn't a threat to himself anymore, but Jungkook still couldn't fully trust him. In this situation, he had to be extra cautious.

He was still anxious entering the shower but once he felt the pleasingly warm water caressing his body, he finally eased a little; probably for the first time that day. He stopped shivering and his muscles relaxed, relieving some tension. He was excruciatingly sore; partly from the struggle with Taehyung on the bridge and that unfortunate fall onto the sidewalk, partly because of the demanding tryouts. He almost forgot they happened today. It felt like an eternity ago.

When he stared into the mirror after stepping out of the shower, he almost didn't recognize himself. His lips were still blue, not in the same warm color as the boy's, and he couldn't understand why. He was still pale, and although he wasn't cold anymore, he still felt unpleasant shivers.

And the goddamn smell. The smell of his shampoo. The same one as Taehyung's black hair and the same as his couch would soon have when the boy rests his head there for a night. He had to change the shampoo; there was no doubt about it.

When JK came back to the living room, he probably felt worse than before taking a shower. He looked around the room and as he expected (and maybe as he wanted), Taehyung was already curled up under his favorite blanket on the couch. Jungkook smiled to himself at the sight of it. It was the quietest state he has seen a boy today, and maybe even overall. He hoped it would last as long as possible.

Before Jungkook went to his bedroom, he checked the kitchen, hoping that his tea had not yet cooled down completely; it was still lukewarm so he drank it all at once. He wanted to put the cup in the sink to wash it some other time, like all the dishes, but noticed the other cup on the counter—the one in which Taehyung's herbs were just a moment ago. The cup was neatly washed and just waiting to dry.

Jungkook looked over his shoulder at the lying boy and shook his head thoughtfully. He was impossible.

And even though Taehyung looked so peaceful, with his chest raising steadily, suggesting he had fallen asleep, Jungkook still didn't buy it. He couldn't trust the boy. Not yet. He had to make sure nothing stupid came to his mind during the night. Not under his roof.

JK stood in the doorway to his bedroom and grabbed his hips. He really wanted to lie down in his beloved bed and rest after this whole damn day, but he knew it was only the beginning of his watch over Taehyung. That's why he took the duvet and his favorite pillow with him and put in on the floor, just next to the couch where Taehyung slept. If the boy wakes up at night and tries any tricks, he will definitely step on him while getting out of bed. And then Jungkook will catch him red-handed and thwart his plans.

So he lay down and almost immediately regrated this idea. The floor was extremely uncomfortable compared to his bed, but this time Jungkook had no choice. He was doing it for a good reason.

But what he didn't expect was to fall asleep so quickly.

⊶⊷

Jungkook suddenly woke up.

Not because of his body aching from laying on the hard floor. Not because of a gust of cold air blowing across the floor from the open window in the living room. And also not from the boy stepping on him while trying to stand up from the couch.

He was awakened by a strange feeling, or perhaps a strange noise, the source of which he could not locate.

Jungkook rubbed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair trying to understand what was happening around him. He glanced briefly at the clock; it was almost three in the morning. He looked around the living room, the place was dark, with only a weak moonlight coming through the window. JK followed the silver light and turned to his left.

Then heard the sound again. It was a soft sob and only then he realized it must have been Taehyung who woke him up.

Jungkook straightened up and sat down on the floor to get a better view of what was happening on the couch. The boy was lying with his back turned at him, curled into a small ball, but JK could see his shoulders shaking evenly with every sob. Jungkook couldn't see his face but he was sure the boy probably left a few tears on his gray pillow.

He didn't really know how to deal with crying people, but he knew he had to do something. He wanted Taehyung to stop crying, not just for the boy's sake. JK knew he wouldn't be able to sleep again if he heard more of his heartbreaking sobbing.

Jungkook sighed heavily and got up from the floor. As quietly as he could, he trudged to the kitchen and poured a glass of fresh water. He returned to the room and stood over the couch, not really sure how to approach the boy. He didn't know if he should, but finally, he made up his mind and gently nudged the boy on the shoulder.

Taehyung was frightened by the sudden touch and immediately turned around, ready to fight if necessary. Only after a while did he realize he was safe, and it was only Jungkook who touched him. He calmed down, but only for a moment. He sniffed loudly and shifted on the couch, sitting cross-legged in the middle. His lower body was still wrapped in a warm blanket, but Jungkook could see how his bare hands were trembling. He knew the cold couldn't be the reason for that.

What made Jungkook curious was that Taehyung did not attempt to hide his tears just as he did it before in the kitchen. He didn't wipe them off his cheeks, didn't cover his eyes, didn't try to convince him that he wasn't crying at all. He simply let the pale moonlight dance inside his wet eyes and tear strides on his cheeks. He looked so vulnerable yet still so magical. And that made Jungkook speechless for a moment.

Taehyung gave him a lost look and sniffed.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. His voice was shaky and lost that unique tenderness and deepness with which he charmed everyone daily. "I didn't want to wake you up."

"It's okay," Jungkook reassured him. "Just drink."

Taehyung nodded agreeing to the boy's suggestion. He straightened up and grabbed the glass with a trembling hand. It looked like the boy didn't have enough strength to hold it properly and Jungkook was sure he will spill the water all over the couch. Fortunately, nothing like that happened and Taehyung managed to safely put his lips on the edge of the glass. At first, he only dipped his mouth in the water but after a while, he drank half the glass in one gulp.

However, what didn't escape Jungkook's attention was the boy's other hand tightly clutching the blanket. Taehyung kept holding the gray material as if it was his only refuge, his only anchor point.

"Do you want a sleeping pill?" Jungkook asked.

He didn't know if it would help the boy, but it has always helped him in such situations. It was one of the few solutions that allowed him to sleep through the nights when his thoughts were going somewhere they really shouldn't. He tried to deviate from such a solution, not to poison himself in this way, but sometimes he couldn't help it. He really hated his thoughts from time to time.

Taehyung looked up at Jungkook's suggestion. For a moment he seemed to be considering it, but in the end, he just shook his head, refusing the pill. He did it rather hesitantly, only making Jungkook question his answer.

"Are you sure?"

He could see in the boy's confused gaze and the tiny movements that he wasn't sure about, so Jungkook decided on his behalf; if he was in his place, he would surely take one. That's why he sighed and made another trip to the kitchen. He brought the pills and handed them to the boy. Taehyung still refused to take them but he gave in after a while. So finally, under Jungkook's careful gaze, he gulped down one of the pills and drank some water again.

He handed the empty glass to Jungkook and smiled faintly. "Thanks."

Jungkook barely heard it because the boy almost immediately wrapped himself in the blanket and laid down again. JK was staring at the back of his head for a little longer as if it could make Taehyung turn to him and... what? Talk? Cry? Just stare? No, it wasn't what he needed right now. Maybe sleep was the best option indeed.

So Jungkook only sighed and once again went to the kitchen, leaving the empty glass on the counter. He hesitated for a moment on whether he should take one of the pills as well but finally gave up. If he wanted to be ready for anything, he had to be able to wake up to the quietest of sounds, as he had done just now with the boy's sobs.

Therefore, confident of himself, he laid down on the floor again. This time, he also fell asleep quite quickly, although what helped him was Taehyung's easy breathing.

Chapter Text

Jungkook felt a weird pain in his back and only then did he realize he was on the floor. He groaned and squirmed when he tried to move. Somehow his body felt really sore and he couldn't recall the last time he felt so bad waking up. He run his hand through his face trying to regain some consciousness but his eyelids seemed to be glued together. When he finally opened them (still only partially) it finally stuck him.

All of yesterday's events came to him at once: the rain, the bridge, the kitchen talk, and the late-night break for a glass of water. The vivid memory of the boy's tears reflecting the moonlight. His desperate pleas and the cold touch when he finally grabbed his hand. Their shivering bodies sat in the muddy and cold puddle. All of it.

Only then did he realize it wasn't just sleeping on the floor. Jungkook was there to watch over Taehyung's life and well-being, or rather just being.

JK thought he had fulfilled his mission pretty well. He did not wake up for the rest of the night; there were no strange noises or cries, nor he was stepped on or pushed by Taehyung. Everything went smoothly so the boy must have had a decent amount of healthy sleep after that one pill. Good, he really needed it.

Jungkook was horribly tired and though he slept through the whole night, he was still sleepy. He wondered if he had some more time for a quick nap before he should definitely woke up for school. He tapped his phone twice but it didn't respond.

Aish, I forgot to charge it yesterday, Jungkook regretted it but in the end, he classified it as a mere inconvenience. There were more important things to take care of yesterday than charging his phone; Taehyung's life being one of them.

So he looked up to tell the time from the clock in the living room. Much to his surprise it relentlessly showed a quarter to nine. Jungkook blinked twice, making sure he wasn't mistaken, but his eyesight was more than fine. The sun was shining outside, the blue sky above had no sign of depressing rain, and it looked like the beginning of an amazing, calm, and hot day.

And it would be great if it wasn't for Jungkook oversleeping for the first class today, which to his misery was math.

He started to panic a bit but finally decided that math and school were of less importance than someone's life. He didn't care that much about his attendance in the past so he wouldn't care about one missed day now either. Jungkook still got someone to take care of today; he had a feeling that morning after such an event wouldn't be easy for Taehyung.

JK stretched slightly and finally sat down on the floor. He immediately turned his head to see if the boy was still sleeping well. He expected to see him curled under his blanket, still facing the wall, with wavy black hair spread on the pillow. But the image was quite different. Jungkook was surprised to find no one lying on the couch.

Taehyung was gone.

He felt the blood draining from his face as he turned pale. He stared in disbelief at the blanket and the clothes he gave the boy yesterday laying perfectly folded on the couch. How did it happen? When did it happen? Maybe Taehyung was still in the bathroom? Jungkook quickly looked toward the exit, where the boy's jacket was hanging yesterday, but it was gone as well as his shoes. None of his stuff was there.

Taehyung was gone.

Jungkook immediately got up from the floor and looked around the apartment once more, but there was no sight of the boy anywhere. He had to leave the apartment, the question was when and why didn't Jungkook wake up? Hell, he hadn't laid on the floor all night just to sleep through the moment the boy got out of the couch. How in the world was that possible? How did the boy manage to fool him like that?

Taehyung was gone.

Exactly. Gone. Where was he now? Where did he go? What state did he wake up in? What condition was he in now? Has he gone home? School? Classes? Or was he back on the bridge again? No. Jungkook wouldn't forgive himself if that happened. Shit. What if he came back to that bridge for real?

Jungkook felt his hands shaking, his mouth getting dry as he couldn't swallow. There was also this strange feeling in his chest making him unable to breathe properly, as if someone's hand was clenching his heart in their hand.

It's been a long time since he's been so stressed and worried about someone. Funny enough it was Taehyung, the last person he thought he would care about. However, yesterday's events made him somehow responsible for the boy and he desperately needed to find out what was happening to him. There was no one else who know about it, that is why it was so important.

JK quickly put on some clothes. He didn't bother looking for a long-sleeved T-shirt to fit in those stupid school policies—it wasn't important at this moment. The only thing he cared about was his sports bag. He was supposed to show up for his first team practice this afternoon, and he hoped Taehyung's case would clear up before then. He really didn't want to miss the training.

He grabbed his motorcycle keys and leather jacket but hesitated for a while. He had to get to school as fast as possible, but he knew that driving in such a state would be extremely irresponsible. He cursed under his breath and briefly considered taking the bus, but decided that it wasn't the time to be rational. He was in a hurry. Therefore, he quickly put on his jacket, took his beloved purple helmet, and ran downstairs.

Jungkook was extra cautious while driving through the bridge. He looked around in search of the boy, but the truth was he didn't want to find him there at all. Fortunately, there was no one even remotely similar in looks to Taehyung there nor were there any police or medics who might indicate the accident had happened. It calmed him down a little, but the strange feeling inside his chest was still there.

That is why Jungkook immediately headed towards the school and hoped that the boy had actually gone there. After what Jimin and Hobi managed to tell him, Taehyung was always involved in school life, liked studying, and cared about not missing classes. In fact, he missed them for the first time yesterday.

On the other hand who would think about coming to school after such an incident? Hell, if Taehyung wasn't there, Jungkook would be completely clueless as to where to look for him.

He felt as if his body worked on autopilot, guiding him along well-known paths by itself. His thoughts were elsewhere, though, for those few minutes, he forced himself to focus on driving. And somehow that was enough to get him to school relatively quickly and, most importantly—safely.

He arrived by the time of the second break so a lot of students had just left their classrooms, forming a huge crowd in the halls. Jungkook squeezed through them in a hurry, not bothering to make silent apologies every time he pushed or poked someone. The only thing that mattered was getting to the destination as soon as possible.

JK left his things in the locker and only glanced briefly at the timetable hanging inside. He skipped math, which he hated, but also literature, which he attended with Jimin. The blond must have realized that Jungkook wasn't at school by now—he always knew these things.

And since his absence was so obvious, there was a chance Jimin would know if Taehyung showed up at school today as well. Maybe he was sitting on his damn bench in the morning and Jungkook needn't have worried so much? He had to know. And the best answer would be to see the boy with his own eyes.

He quickly slammed his locker shut and walked over to Jimin's. At the same time, he was looking in every direction; there was a chance that he would bump into Taehyung before catching Jimin and the problem would solve itself. However, the first one he saw was blond, who was calmly unpacking textbooks from the locker in the company of Hoseok.

Even better. Two biggest gossip girls have to know something, he thought as he rushed toward the lockers.

"Well, well, well, looked who finally showed up—"

"Have you seen Taehyung?"

Jimin wanted to mock Jungkook's late arrival but his friend disturbed him rapidly and the blonde already knew something was wrong. He looked at the raven-haired boy curiously, surprised by the sudden question. But most importantly surprised by Jungkook's concerned or even panicked look.

"Why are you—"

"Tell me. Is he at school today?"

Jungkook took a step forward, almost completely closing the distance between him and Jimin, as if this gesture could make his friend answer quicker. It didn't, that is why Jungkook also put his hands on Jimin's shoulders ready to shake him if necessary. Fortunately, this time it worked before it was needed.

"I-I don't know," Jimin stuttered, casting confused looks toward Hobi. "I haven't seen him yet."

That answer made Jungkook instantly glare at Hoseok. "And you?"

Hobi slightly panicked with a sudden question and almost demanding tone of Jungkook's words. He just raised his hands defensively, indicating that he has no idea where Taehyung was.

"Shit, " Jungkook muttered and without any further explanation, he pushed past his friends.

"Gukkie?!" Jimin tried to call him back but Jungkook wasn't listening anymore. There was a way more important and urgent matter he had to cover.

He didn't even care about Jimin probably violating him in every possible way, demanding explanations for his behavior connected with Taehyung. Especially after saying a few controversial and not overly flattering things about the boy only a day before. But Jungkook didn't have time to worry about it. He'll find an excuse later.

JK knew there was no point in mindlessly looking for Taehyung around the school. Only one solution came to his mind and he decided to go with it. The matter was urgent and extremely important and if the boy wasn't at school, it was the only way to help him. Therefore, he immediately ran in the opposite direction to all the students.

He never went to places like this, in fact, he was under impression that no one ever went there. It became a kind of myth, a school legend known only from teen movies. And somehow he found himself in front of the door to the school counselor's office. If anyone was to give him any advice or take action to prevent future tragedy, it was him.

To be honest, Jungkook already thought of reporting this incident. It wasn't his business, his decision, but he still felt directly involved in the case. Well, if it wasn't for him, last night could have ended very differently. And if yesterday he was only considering talking with someone about it as an option, today he saw it as a mortal necessity.

He stood in front of the office door but hesitated for a moment. The truth was, he had been ordered by the headmaster to come here for an occasional check-up regarding the transfer and the fact he lived alone. Jungkook had to deliver some papers and talk to the counselor in the first week, but somehow he didn't have the head for it. He couldn't predict that the first time he meets the man would be for a completely different reason.

There was no time for further hesitation; every minute mattered in this case. That is why Jungkook didn't care about knocking and just grabbed the doorknob.

Jungkook entered a small room, almost entirely cluttered with books, folders, and files. At first, he felt a little like he was at some lawyer's office or in archives, though he couldn't exactly tell why. Everything looked so serious, so mature here, and yet only one step into the room was enough to catch a strangely calm and homely atmosphere. Just as if he was visiting his long-lost aunt who wanted to greet him with tea and cookies. It was a weird feeling he decided to ignore for now.

His eyes found the man who was leaning against the desk with his back turned to the front door. He held a folder in his hand and studied it carefully. When he heard the door slam open, he glanced over his shoulder to identify the source of the noise.

And it was when Jungkook saw a middle-aged man of incredible beauty. The brunette looked as if he did the cover of a top fashion magazine just a second ago and come to work at school afterward. Not only was he wearing an expensive well-fitting shirt, tailored suit, and a silver watch, but he had shiny black hair, neatly gelled backward, revealing his handsome face. Full lips, sharp jawline, gosh, almost everything about the man seemed to scream: model.

It's impossible that this dude is a school counselor, he thought as he couldn't believe someone that handsome was wasting his life in this goddamn school.

So, in desperation, he looked at the small engraved plate on the man's desk saying: Kim Seokjin—school counselor. Apparently, it was all true. The only questions were how and why?

"I strongly advise you to knock next time," the man said without looking up from his folder. "In some places bursting into the room like that would be considered rude."

He had a very calm, maybe even too calm voice and that alone made Jungkook's blood boil a little; contrary to the man, he was not calm at all. But Jungkook didn't quite know how to start this conversation. A momentary awkward silence made the man finally look at the boy. Only then did his expression change from one focused on what he had been studying to a friendlier one. Though Jungkook didn't trust his smirk. He seemed very sarcastic.

"I'm really sorry about that mister but—"

"Ah, wait." Seokjin stopped him with his hand. "Aren't you the new kid, Jeon Jungkook?"

"That's me but—"

"I thought so. You know, you have a distinctive appearance so the guess was pretty easy. Besides, weren't we supposed to meet last week?"

"Yes and—"

"Then it's too bad we didn't. Maybe then you would be better acquainted with the school's poli—"

"Screw the school's policy!" Jungkook shouted as he couldn't stand being interrupted even further.

Only when he saw a man's rather shocked expression, he realized what he had actually said. He could have been mad about another person not approving of his exposed tattoos but still, he was talking to the teacher. That is why he immediately added a few words of explanation.

"I mean... The policy is not important right now." JK shook his head dismissively and took a deep breath before he continued with a serious tone, "I have an urgent matter to discuss and someone's life may be in danger if you don't hear me out."

The teacher looked at him intensely and pressed his lips together until they formed a thin line. He slowly closed the folder and placed it on the desk. He adjusted his watch and silver cufflinks and sat down behind his desk. At the same time, he gestured for Jungkook to sit on the chair in front of him.

The boy took advantage of the offer, although he didn't know how he should behave. His legs were shaking and he couldn't calm his trembling hands, which he kept rubbing against his thighs. He felt like he'd been caught red-handed, doing the worst thing in his life, and was about to face the consequences of his actions. And yet he hadn't done anything wrong this time. On the contrary, he saved the boy, he did the right thing.

Jungkook bit his lips so hard, he was sure that his piercing will pop off and he'd feel that awful tart taste of blood in his mouth. He had never been so nervous in his life.

"Take two deep breaths and tell me what happened," Seokjin said in a soothing voice.

So much had happened that Jungkook didn't know where to begin, what information was the most important one, and in what order he should talk about the events of last night. Whatever point in time he chose, the whole story sounded like a wild dream, a plot out of the book or movie, a delusion.

Because who will believe him? Who will believe that the most popular person in this school, a walking perfection, wanted to jump off the bridge? Asked him to let him jump out of the bridge. Asked him—a new student whom he barely knows. And that out of all the people in the world, he was the one who saved him.

It was crazy to even think about it, yet to try telling the story as it exactly happened. But the longer Junkook looked into the man's worried eyes, the more he believed he was the one who could understand all of it. If not the man, a person certified to help in such situations, then who? He was the best shot he got to save Taehyung.

"Yesterday I... Umpf. I-I. Well, yesterday—ah, I don't know how to say it," Jungkook felt his voice trembling, as he couldn't even say a coherent sentence.

"Don't stress yourself," the man calmed him once more. "We have time."

The counselor's words gave him more courage and some kind of assurance that he doesn't have to sound right or be the greatest storyteller. He just has to say out loud what happened. Because that was the most important thing. That is why to release some tension arising inside his chest, he just blurted out everything that reminded him of yesterday's event.

"Yesterday, a-after school. I-I walked down the bridge, and then... It was raining, I couldn't see but... But h-he was there. And h-he wanted... Ah, he wanted but I couldn't let... let it happen. S-so I run. A-and he didn't... And we.. ah. He was f-fine. That stupid word. B-but today I-I woke up... Oh god. He w-was gone... G-gone. I... don't know if he... Again at the bridge? No...oh—"

"Stop, stop, stop." Seokjin put his hand out in front of him trying to calm the boy's chaotic statement. "Calm down."

Only then did Jungkook realize that he had no control over his words and actions. He wasn't even aware of what exactly he said and what he didn't. The words were rushing out of his mouth, but he couldn't put them into full sentences. It must have been a stress preventing him from thinking straight. But why was he so worried?

"Just deep breaths." The calming voice of the teacher rang in his head once again. "I can't help you if you don't tell me everything that happened. So let's start from the beginning, shall we?"

Jungkook looked at the counselor once again and took one deep breath as instructed. It was the longest and the most shaky one he did in his whole life. Why was it so hard for him to calm down? It was worse with each passing second but he finally managed to steady his next breaths. He made them shorter so they were easier to control. Only then he nodded slowly, indicating that he would cooperate with the teacher.

"First of all, tell me, who was it?" Seokjin asked. "You said someone's life is in danger, right?"

Jungkook swallowed loudly, preparing himself for an answer. He had it on the tip of his tongue, so close to saying it out loud. He knew that he should confess everything, for the sake of the boy's life. Yet he still felt that by revealing Taehyung's identity he would also betray him. Tell the man his greatest secret; a story that should stay only between them, a story no one but the two of them should know about.

It felt wrong but he knew it was the right thing to do.

"It was—"

Just as he was about to say his name, he heard a loud knock on the door. Both men looked in the direction of the strange noise, startled as if to continue the conversation or not. Seokjin knew he had to respond somehow, it was his office after all. And if he doesn't answer, the new visitor will come in anyway.

The decision wasn't easy, but he knew how serious and probably a long topic he was just discussing with Jungkook, so he decided to deal with the new one first. He interrupted Jungkook with his hand, suggesting he wait and looked toward the door.

"Come in."

The door slowly opened reviling an easily recognizable boy. Although Jungkook felt like he didn't recognize him at all.

"Jin, I was wondering if—" he had started but stopped when he saw the raven-haired boy sitting on the chair. "Oh, Jungkook? What are you doing here?"

Jungkook opened his mouth and couldn't close it for a long while—he was in complete utter shock. Because in the middle of the office stood none other than Kim Taehyung; the boy was in one piece, healthy, and looking better than ever.

There was no trace of dirty and wet clothes; these fitted him better than too big a jacket and pants from yesterday. Taehyung wore a neatly ironed white shirt with rolled-up sleeves. Its top two buttons were undone, revealing that little gold chain dangling over the edges of his collarbones. The white collar perfectly accentuated his sharp jawline. The very same jaw which only yesterday was shivering from the cold. The very same neck down which thick raindrops were flowing. The very same place where Jungkook's hand delicately caressed his hair.

His skin shone with bright colors; it was again honey-like, not pale at all. There were no signs of a sleepless or heavy night on it. The boy's eyes were neither red nor puffy as if they hadn't shed a single tear yesterday. As if they slept through the most pleasant night of their lives, in comfortable velvet bedding, not under a blanket on the sofa. His black hair flew in perfect waves and only one of the rebellious strands fell on the boy's forehead. Jungkook could have sworn the boy's hair probably still smelled like his shampoo.

But nothing changed more than Taehyung's attitude. He was confident and almost dignified as he always appeared while walking down the halls. He had that small but mysterious smirk on his lips that the half of school admired and the other half fainted at. Taehyung looked as if absolutely nothing had happened yesterday. But how was that possible? How could he be so calm when JK himself felt so bad? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Jungkook didn't understand a thing from it. He felt as if he saw a ghost.

And it was this ghost who fixed his curious gaze on him. Only then did Jungkook realize that Taehyung asked him a question, but he was too surprised and too stunned to even blink, yet to respond.

The sight of the boy completely paralyzed him. Jungkook kept holding his breath, even now when he finally saw Taehyung standing in front of him. When he saw Taehyung alive. Since the moment he woke up JK wanted to find him so badly so why was he suddenly so terrified by seeing the boy in his seemingly good state?

Maybe because Jungkook knew it was only the outside of Taehyung that looked so fine; his perfectly prepared façade, a stunt he used to pull off every time he was at school. However, JK was sure that underneath the mask, somewhere deep inside, the boy must have felt horrible, so far away from his favorite perfection.

Shit, what is going on here?

"You two know each other?"

Seokjin asked when the two of them couldn't stop looking at each other for a little longer than necessary. It made Taehyung turn to the teacher almost immediately, when Jungkook still couldn't get out of this weird trance he got himself into. He still thought he saw a ghost and needed a piece of solid evidence that he wasn't daydreaming.

"Of course, we know each other," Taehyung said rather cheerfully. "We met at one of the parties, had a few conversations and I guess we hit it off quite fast. Right?"

Again, the question was addressed to Jungkook, but he was completely stunned. Not even Taehyung's deep voice convinced him all that was happening was real. The last time he heard the boy speaking, his voice was unusually weak and lacked this manly and charming tone. Gosh, he could even hear his desperate pleas from the bridge. There was no way they came from the same person.

"Really?" Seokjin looked at Jungkook, studying him carefully; his rather unusual condition made him quite suspicious. "It doesn't look like you're close friends. He doesn't look like your close friend. Besides, you've never mentioned having a close friend."

"Jin, how many times have I told you not to judge people by their looks, huh?"

"I'm a counselor and a therapist. It's part of my job." He shrugged and started playing with his black pen.

This small conversation between them surprised Jungkook a little. Why would Taehyung say anything to the counselor? Why would he share the stories and information about his close friends? Had they talked before? Or maybe Taehyung was a regular here, which would explain the casual tone in which they spoke to each other, even addressing the man by his first name or more by nickname.

Maybe Seokjin knew about the boy's problems? Maybe Taehyung tried to find solutions that led him to the school's counselor? He wanted help but for that one night, he lost confidence and risked it? Maybe that's why he showed up here? To redeem himself? To talk about yesterday? To have another session? Maybe it was for the better that Jungkook decided to come here. He had a hunch and it didn't deceive him.

On the other hand, remembering that Taehyung didn't have any close friends was quite a sad vision. It fitted what Jimin and Hoseok had mentioned earlier, but JK didn't think it was so bad. That the boy had no one to talk to, and nowhere to go, if he was in such a tragic condition. Maybe that's why he decided to reject his only friend and get closer to the school counselor in a way. As if the man was his only hope?

Jungkook felt pity for the boy so he decided to play along with his narrative. That was the safest option for now. He finally woke up from this weird trance he got into and quickly admitted.

"Ahh, no, it's true. We're really close friends."

Jungkook knew there wasn't a single truth in his statement. They were far from being friends, let alone close friends. Although after what had happened yesterday they became closer than average two people. Probably neither of them would ever forget the incident, no matter how hard they tried. And Jungkook's jittery gut feeling was just proof of that.

Seokjin gave him a wary look again, as did Taehyung, who seemed slightly surprised by such a confession but managed to hide it quickly. Damn, he was a really good actor.

Therefore, to add credibility to his words, Jungkook continued, "For example, we met yesterday for a short—"

"Oh, Jungkook. I forgot to mention." Taehyung suddenly cut in, completely changing the topic. "How rude of me not to introduce you to my brother."

It took Jungkook a moment to understand what the boy meant. It wasn't until Taehyung smiled faintly at Seokjin that JK finally connected the dots. His eyes went wide and he couldn't stop himself from repeating the boy's words.

"Brother?!"

"Step-brother to be exact," Taehyung explained in a hushed tone.

Jungkook followed the boy's hand and looked at the Seokjin, only to look back at Taehyung a second later. He knew it wasn't enough to understand the relationship between them, still, he wanted to try and solve the case.

They talked quite freely and were friendly from the very beginning. Previously, he thought it was because the boy was a regular visitor here, and in a way he was right. Though Taehyung didn't come here regularly because of his problems and sessions; he simply wanted to see his brother. And from this short conversation between them, it looked like a rather healthy family relationship. Or so it seemed.

When Jungkook looked closely, he began to see slight similarities between the brothers. First of all, they were both extremely handsome though in different ways. Seokjin seemed more mature-handsome; as a grown man, his features were more defined and manly, a timeless, classic beauty attracting all age groups. JK could see all the female students in this school falling for the teacher as well as all their moms.

Taehyung however was more boyish-handsome; he was still young and had some kind of innocence in his already strong features. And if he looked like that at this age, the promise of the future was even more attractive. Though JK doubted it could go better than this.

Gosh. If they are siblings, even if only half-siblings, they must be the most handsome ones in the world. Like worldwide handsome siblings or something, he thought.

Considering the vastly different stages of life both brothers were in, he bet Seokjin must have been at least ten years older, even though he didn't look like someone close to thirty. He still looked young but certain seriousness and maturity gave away his age. Though Jungkook had a feeling that somewhere under the shell of a well-spoken and helpful therapist, there was also someone like a cheerful friend ready to help students in need.

And if they were brothers, why hasn't Jimin told him about it yet? It was the rumor of the millennium.

"Yeah, speaking about it, what do you want, kid? I'm quite busy right now." Seokjin seemed slightly tired of this rather meaningless chitchat. "We're in the middle of the conversation."

He pointed the pen first at himself and then at Jungkook and raised an eyebrow slightly, suggesting that's the time Taehyung should tell him why he came here in the first place.

It was only then that Jungkook realized that the arrival of the boy had interrupted their conversation. A quite an important conversation. He was one word apart from confessing what happened on the bridge yesterday. And only the arrival of the last night's victim had stopped him from doing so.

Earlier, JK seemed quite jittery and emphasized how important this conversation was to him, so he wasn't surprised when Seokjin became serious again and tried to get back to the topic. Except that Taehyung seemed very inconsolable with such a confession. He opened his mouth as if to protest, but had little to say. All he could manage was a few uncertain words.

"In the m-middle?"

"Yes, so if it's nothing important can you leave us alone, please?"

Seokjin pointed gently at the door and although he added please at the end of the sentence, his eyes seemed to say get out. However, Taehyung didn't seem to notice, and his suspicious behavior caught Jungkook's attention. He looked like he didn't want to leave them alone and give them a chance to finish this story.

Taehyung must have known what Jungkook had come here with—it was rather obvious. The boy seemed rather reluctant to tell his brother about the accident and became so nervous at the sudden mention of Jungkook's confession. Maybe that was the reason why Taehyung interrupted earlier, and perhaps why he introduced the counselor as his brother. He signaled Jungkook to keep the story to himself.

And judging from Seokjin's expression he had no clue about his brother's problems or the horror of yesterday's evening. If it was the case, he certainly wouldn't have insisted that Taehyung should go to classes.

"Besides, I think I just heard the bell ring. You don't want to be late, right?"

"R-right. We'll talk later, then."

Taehyung nodded hesitantly and turned to the door. However, he did not fail to cast Jungkook one warry or maybe even pleading look along the way. Jungkook already knew that no matter how much he wanted to tell the teacher about the incident, he couldn't do it yet. He had to talk to Taehyung first.

The boy finally left them alone. Seokjin watched his brother carefully and only when he was sure that the office door was closed, he shook his head in disbelief. He wasn't happy that they were interrupted for no good reason. Although Jungkook seemed to be glad that it happened at that moment. If Taehyung had knocked a second later, this conversation could have gone horribly wrong.

"Excuse me. I didn't expect my brother to just visit me like that. He doesn't do that often," Seokjin said apologetically.

"Don't worry. Your brother is... quite an unusual persona."

There were no better words to describe Taehyung. He was an unusual persona, and as it turned out, in every possible way and definition.

"So, I believe now we can continue without any interruptions."

The man leaned over the table and rested his hands on the desk. He kept fiddling with the pen as if it was his way of de-stressing. Apparently, even for therapists, some of the conversations were not easy. Jungkook could use something similar now, but he had nothing on himself, only his hands. So he kept rubbing them against each other as if it could calm him down.

He was stressed, again. This time, however, the reason was quite different. He stressed over lying. He sucked at lying.

"So? You were talking about a bridge..." Seokjin started, trying to come back to the conversation.

Jungkook gulped and almost immediately scolded himself for giving away such an important clue about what he was about to do. But he made up his mind and there was no going back. So he squeezed his hands tightly, calmed his breath, and said as steadily and confidently as he could at that moment.

"I know, but now when I think of it, I must have been mistaken."

"Mistaken?" Seokjin frowned. "Jungkook, you clearly said—"

"No, it was just me mumbling meaningless stuff. I was confused with what I saw yesterday on my way back to school and that's all."

He wasn't very good at lying, so he had to get out of there as soon as possible before a well-trained specialist, a therapist, could catch him lying. Though he was sure it had already happened. JK didn't know how to explain his actions and wasn't really convincing either.

Regardless of his rather poor efforts, he immediately got up from his chair and moved it back gently closer to the desk. At this gesture, Seokjin also got up.

"Is someone's life in danger?" he asked as seriously as he could.

These were the words Jungkook used while entering the room so it wasn't a surprise that the teacher used them again now—it was the most important issue in his confession. If he didn't want to talk about the incident, the teacher had to know at least if there was a possible danger to take care of.

The question made Jungkook stop halfway to the door. He thought for a moment about his answer but finally turned confidently to Seokjin.

"No."

Jungkook wanted to sound firm, even if he wasn't sure about his answer. Maybe Taehyung looked fine and showed up to school all well, but it didn't mean his life was no longer in danger. Jungkook didn't know if it was only one try or if the boy was desperate to go back to that bridge. Was he helping the boy by keeping it to himself or denying him much-needed help? Damn, no solution sounded right.

The only one that seemed right was to talk to the boy himself.

"Are you sure? Jungkook, it is extremely important," Seokjin asked once more.

"Yes," JK said confidently, facing the man. "No one's life is in danger."

Or at least I think so, he thought but couldn't add it at loud.

Jungkook felt that what he was doing was absolutely wrong. That he vouched for the health and life of the boy he barely even knew. That he should be less considerate and seek help on his behalf but... Gosh, it was so messed up.

He had to find and talk to Taehyung as soon as possible to regain some sanity in this madness. However, there was quite high a possibility he would go even crazier after hearing the boy out. It wouldn't be an easy and friendly conversation. Jungkook already knew that.

Damn, no matter what he did, Taehyung caused him only trouble. 

Chapter Text

Jungkook stepped out of the office and took a deep breath. What has just happened? What was this conversation even? He was one word away from confessing to the counselor, and only the fact that he was Taehyung's brother stopped him from doing so. That was beyond crazy. It was nothing like a regular Wednesday.

For a second he regrated that he left the counselor's office so quickly. Maybe it was wrong not to tell him? But if the topic wasn't easy for Jungkook, a complete stranger to Taehyung, then it would be even worse for a brother, an actual family member, to hear about his turmoil. Jungkook didn't know what kind of relationship or brotherly bond they had, but he was sure it could be significantly affected once Seokjin learns about the latest events.

That is why for now the decision belonged to Taehyung. Though Jungkook knew that the moment the boy starts acting suspicious again, he would come to the counselors in no time at all.

JK ran his hand through his hair. He must have looked terrible, considering he had rushed out of the apartment in under a minute and only brought a sports bag with him. Luckily, half of his textbooks were in his locker, but the school and classes didn't seem to matter to him right now. He needed to take a break but he had no idea how to do that.

How to clear his mind when all he could think about was Taehyung? Gosh, he hated him. After telling Jimin how much he wasn't interested in the boy's life and his walking perfection persona, now he couldn't let him go from his mind. He cared.

"What an irony, huh?" Jungkook chuckled and couldn't help but shook his head in disbelief.

He felt a strong need for some fresh air. He doubted it would help but it was the best shot he got to bring back a regular heartbeat and breathing. The patio was too risky to go so he decided to head to the parking lot—the chances of being caught by a teacher were significantly lower there.

JK took a first step and turned left into the hall just next to the teacher's office when suddenly he felt someone grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him to the corner. Before he could react, he found himself being pinned against the lockers. Only then did he realize it was Taehyung who dared to do so.

"Did you tell him?" he asked in a hush but demanding tone.

When the first shock wore off, Jungkook finally took a good measure of the situation he got himself in. Taehyung was still holding his wrist and glaring at him expectantly, just as if JK was caught red-handed doing something mortally wrong. And Jungkook felt pretty much uncomfortable being treated like that. He liked his personal space so he hated being ordered around, tugged, pushed, or pinned down. Taehyung managed to do all these things only in the last twelve hours but taking into consideration what the boy was going through, he decided to let it go.

However, JK was quite surprised that Taehyung had enough strength to toss him around like that. He knew the boy was quite strong; the struggle on the bridge wasn't an easy one. Still, this situation wasn't anything Jungkook couldn't handle. He jerked his hand harder, easily freeing it from Taehyung's grip. The boy flinched slightly when he saw what JK was capable of with just a simple movement.

"I didn't," Jungkook snorted, disgusted by the boy's behavior.

The answer calmed down Taehyung enough to make him let go of Jungkook and took a step back, giving him some more space. The boy ran a hand through his hair and sighed rather relieved, although he still looked a little shaky. However, it took him only a split second to go back to his neutral and composed self. The walking perfection self. The fake self. The change was so sudden that even JK was impressed, though he certainly shouldn't be. Not when it was such an issue. Not when he was probably the only person who knew it was just an act.

But much to Jungkook's confusion the boy kept staring at him aggressively as he was about to offend him with every possible swear word known to humankind. Weird, shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't Jungkook be angrier with a boy acting like that, ditching him in the morning and making him worry so much? After everything that happened, Taehyung dared to be angry with him? A person who helped him?

"Why did you go there?" Taehyung's words sounded like an accusation and Jungkook could no longer pretend he was okay with the boy's attitude.

"I don't know," Jungkook scoffed and added sarcastically, "Maybe because you completely disappeared from my apartment the morning after you tried to commit suic—"

"Don't call it like that."

"Why not? You weren't about to swim in that river."

The words hung in the air for a moment. The atmosphere got dense and they kept eyeing each other with angry stares. But this time Jungkook didn't intend to let go, not that he had ever let go. There was no space for carrying and compassionate Jungkook when Taehyung was so oblivious, again.

Jungkook wasn't going to pretend that what happened yesterday was some kind of accident. It was an attempt that wouldn't have ended only as an attempt if he hadn't been crossing that damn bridge. That's why he wanted to address the issue directly, call it by its name, maybe then Taehyung would understand what he really tried to do.

And maybe the boy finally did. He stared at Jungkook for a little longer just to look down rather shyly a moment later. And just before he did it Jungkook saw a glimpse of guilt and remorse in his eyes. Well, very rightfully so. Taehyung should feel guilty about what he wanted to do. However, no amount of guilt and contrition on the boy's face, nor his awkwardly bitten lip would make Jungkook change his mind.

"We both know it wasn't just an accident. So stop pretending you're fine and get some help. I decided not to but you should talk to your brother," Jungkook tried to convince him, but Taehyung suddenly raised his head and looked at him with panic in his eyes.

"No way. He will kill me if he finds out."

"Isn't that what you want?"

Jungkook bit his tongue but it was already too late. He really shouldn't have said it but he couldn't help it. The more he talked to the boy the angrier he got at his completely ignorant approach to something so serious as his own life. JK couldn't understand him at all.

At first, he thought that maybe by being mean and firm he would force Taehyung to reconsider his approach but when he saw the boy's blank stare again, he began to regret his words. So much so Jungkook was about to apologize for his indiscretion. Such topics shouldn't be joked about, no matter what.

Jungkook opened his mouth but before he could say anything, Taehyung muttered almost inaudibly, "No... Not really... At least not anymore."

It was the most sincere Taehyung had ever sounded but it still wasn't enough for Jungkook. Knowing how good he was at deceiving people and faking certain behavior he might have been doing it again. His words did not convince Jungkook, although the emptiness in Taehyung's eyes was impossible to fake. It was a strange combination that made Jungkook even more confused.

"You see, I really, really, want to believe you but the thing is I don't trust you," Jungkook sighed helplessly. "And I don't want to start every day wondering if you are alive or not. "

"Why would you care about that?" the boy scoffed and almost smiled sarcastically.

"Because after that evening I'm involuntarily involved in this whole situation. I know it was hard for you but it's not easy for me either. Never in my life have I been stressed more than in these last twelve hours. All because of you. And I don't even like you."

Despite Taehyung being a clear victim of yesterday's events, Jungkook also felt strongly affected by this accident. He didn't want to compete on who had it worse, but he also felt hurt. He was stressed and still had this weird feeling of someone squeezing his heart which didn't leave him even when he saw the boy alive. And because he was the one who saved Taehyung, he also felt responsible for the boy. For still keeping him alive, for vouching to his brother that his life wasn't in danger. It was a huge responsibility. A responsibility he didn't want to have on his shoulders.

Jungkook was no one, a random person who just happened to cross the bridge at that time, an involuntary involved, as he said. It all happened by accident, by pure luck. That's why it stressed him out even more. Because on the one hand, he shouldn't care so much about it, and on the other, there was no other person who could do it.

"I-I didn't ask to be a savior," Jungkook muttered, voicing out his thoughts. However, the answer came faster than he expected.

"Well, I didn't ask to be saved, so we're even."

Taehyung's words hit JK hard, making him freeze for a second. He didn't expect such a confession—such a heartbreaking confession really. And these words only ensured Jungkook he won't stop worrying about the boy until he gets professional help or proves to him, he doesn't want to try it again. Gosh, it was way more serious than he previously assumed it was. Now he trusted the boy even less.

He had to find a way to help Taehyung, not only for the boy's sake but also for his own. Now, when he tasted what it was like to wake up stressed as hell, he wanted his past life back. When his only concern was math and a new piece of gossip from Jimin.

"If you don't want to talk to your brother then go to someone else. There are many people qualified to help you," he offered. Taehyung had to talk to somebody about this. He probably needed the whole therapy as well.

"I don't need help."

"Yes, yes you do." Jungkook dug a finger into Taehyung's torso hoping that would make him understand, "And the faster you realize it the better for you."

Gosh, he hated talking to the boy who again was so oblivious. And JK didn't know which side of the boy he preferred more: the one from yesterday who was mostly silent, making weird excuses and ambivalent comments, using this hellish word fine; or the one he faced right now, much more talkative but also much more feisty, full of emotions and bullshit reasonings. None of the sides was easy to talk to.

Maybe for once in his life, Jungkook wanted to face the walking perfection side of Taehyung. This one seemed the most reasonable one. And if JK came to such a conclusion it only meant that whatever was on the boy's mind could only be a huge mess.

"Listen, I understand nobody knows what's going on inside your head better than you, but you should at least try to—"

"Are you a good listener?" Taehyung asked, suddenly taking Jungkook off guard.

"I don't think I'm qualified for—"

"I just asked you if you are a good listener?"

It was supposed to be a simple question, but Jungkook knew it had a double meaning. He didn't need more stress in his life, he didn't want to take such a responsibility, such a burden on his shoulders. He wasn't the one who should take care of him. He didn't know how. He should refuse, be selfish and care only about his own well-being mental and physical-wise. Do what's right and insist on finding professional help. Someone qualified, someone certified, just as Seokjin.

But maybe Taehyung needed someone only for a friendly not-overly-deep conversation? A close friend he never had? Maybe that would be enough to slightly change his attitude and plans for the future? Enough for Jungkook not to worry anymore? Maybe the question was simple after all?

Jungkook glanced at Taehyung who waited impatiently for an answer. His eyes looked hopeful and so lively—the most JK has ever seen them. He could not refuse to help someone who looked at him with so much desperation in his eyes. He just couldn't.

And just because of that he immediately nodded, answering the boy's question.

Jungkook was willing to help the boy if he didn't want anyone else to know about this whole incident, but that could only happen under one condition. That is why he precisely articulated every word of the next sentence. He wanted Taehyung to remember these words and think carefully about his next steps and decisions.

"I just want to let you know that If you still consider trying it again, even if it's only the smallest thought with the lowest possibility, micro idea, strange pull toward the unknown, or only a momentary feeling of weakness, then don't... don't come to me. I will not listen to your story."

"Why?" Taehyung asked with a mixed expression on his face.

"Because I don't want to live on knowing that I couldn't save you."

Taehyung gazed even deeper into Jungkook's eyes as if he was trying to understand the message behind his words. But their meaning was really simple and Jungkook had no intention of repeating himself. He decided to help the boy but only if Taehyung wanted to look forward to his future without regretting the missed opportunity on the bridge.

Jungkook didn't want to get involved in another tragic story, he had enough of them in his life. He probably wouldn't survive another one.

That's why he was surprised to see something close to disappointment in Taehyung's eyes. It was there only for a split second and disappeared before Jungkook could even ask.

"And what are you two doing here?"

At the sound of a familiar voice, they automatically moved away from each other, as if to hide the fact that they were even talking. Taehyung quickly looked down, and Jungkook immediately shifted his gaze to the new member of the conversation. He knew he wouldn't like the view, and he wasn't wrong. Standing in front of them was none other than his favorite math teacher.

"It's way past the time you should be in the class," he said with his bossy tone and Jungkook tried hard not to roll his eyes. "I know you don't really respect the school's policy Mr. Jeon but I thought you could act decent at least once."

The teacher took a pad of yellow notes from his pocket and ostentatiously clicked his pen. He scribbled something for a while and then with a smile on his lips he handed a note to the boy. Jungkook didn't have to read it carefully to know what was written on it.

"Detention? But I have basketball training."

"You should have thought about it before then."

The teacher's comments only annoyed him more, and he had to bite his tongue to keep himself from replying in a manner that for sure would guarantee him another note. JK hated the man with all his heart. If only he could give the man one solid punch in that beautiful face of his. The more he talked to the man the more it began to be his greatest dream.

"If I were you, I would be happy if it was only this one. Accept it before I give you another one for exposing this thing again." The man pointed to Jungkook's right arm.

Well, in the morning, he didn't even consider wearing anything long-sleeved—all that mattered back then was to reach the school as fast as possible. It also meant he wore the same white T-shirt he'd slept in last night. The only thing he had with him to cover the tattoo was his biker jacket but he had no intention of putting it on inside the building. Unless he wanted to suffocate of course.

"Actually, I should give you one more note for skipping morning classes," the teacher continued with his annoying tone. "Where were you?"

"I-I... umm... overslept?"

And he wasn't far from the truth at all, because when the mathematician was talking crap in his class, Jungkook was still sleeping on the floor, completely sure that Taehyung was lying next to him on the couch.

"Overslept?" the man repeated jokingly. "Well, well. Skipping classes, wandering over the school instead of following your schedule, improper clothing and behavior. That's a lot, don't you think, Mr. Jeon?'

Jungkook was losing patience with each word spoken by the man. He really could have spared him these comments but apparently scolding Jungkook became his hobby. Too bad JK couldn't do much to change it; he could only stand and listen while fuming inside. His right hand automatically clenched into a fist but he knew he wouldn't be brave or foolish enough to use it.

"Can't you just give us the notes and let us go to the class?"

Suddenly it was Taehyung who spoke up making the teacher look at him with great surprise and some curiosity. He furrowed his brows as the boy's remark was said in a rather rude tone, full of irritation and impatience. Taehyung seemed bored as if he wanted the teacher to go as soon as possible and such an attitude of course didn't sit well with the man, who seized him with his resentful gaze.

"I heard a lot about you Mr. Kim," the man raised his chin, still eyeing Taehyung as if he was judging him closely. "Teachers here treat you with great admiration. A perfect student, they say. Apparently not so perfect."

The man shook his head and clicked his pen again, writing the second note. He did it with such a passion as if handing out detention notes was his favorite hobby. At this point, Jungkook was sure the teacher got a weird superiority complex. The way he smirked while giving the note to Taehyung was weirdly concerning.

"That attitude of yours. I don't like it, boy," he added, looking Taehyung dead in the eye. "I see being acquainted with Mr. Jeon doesn't suit you well."

Taehyung kept his cool, contrary to Jungkook for whom such a comment was the last straw. Fortunately, before Jungkook could say anything controversial enough to earn another yellow note, Taehyung quickly took his one from the teacher. The boy adjusted the bag on his shoulder and simply strode down the corridor toward one of the classrooms. 

Jungkook watched him go and for a split second, he wondered what should he do now. In the end, he decided to leave the math teacher and follow the boy. JK wanted to talk back to the man but catching Taehyung was more important, so he only nodded excusing himself, and run after him.

"Hey, wait," JK said when Teahyung seemed not to notice his presence or rather ignore it.

And when calling him didn't help, Jungkook ran faster just to catch the boy and cross his path. Only this made him stop and look at JK with an unamused, maybe even irritated look.

"What do you need more, huh?"

"Well, I just..."

Jungkook didn't know what exactly he should say but he felt like they haven't finished their previous conversation. There were still a lot of things to cover, and so many topics to run over. It was too complex to just let it go and continue with the day, going to classes.

However, when he looked at Taehyung, he could see that his attitude has already changed. He seemed irritated, and nervous about the detention. JK was even surprised to see him so feisty and talking back to the teacher. Jungkook thought the boy would change to his perfect persona in a mathematician's presence but for some reason, he didn't.

Back then he looked as if he had enough of the man and wanted him out of sight as soon as possible. Just like he was now with Jungkook and he couldn't tell what was the reason. Was it because of that momentary disappointment he saw in his eyes? What did it mean? Did the boy accept his conditions for helping him or... what?

There were too many things on his mind and still, he couldn't voice any of them. So much so that Taehyung beat him to it.

"If it's nothing then I'll go to class before I get another detention."

Jugnkook didn't really want to let him go but there was no point in stopping the boy right now. The conversation was clearly over so Jungkook just sighed and took a step back to make some space for Taehyung to pass him.

"See you in detention, then" JK tried to sound somehow cheerful. "If you need me—"

"I'm fine."

Taehyung brushed him off with a rather unpleasant comment and a simple wave. And Jungkook was sure that if he was just a little more confident, he would bump him with his shoulder in the process. He didn't like such an attitude and hearing this hellish word fine only made him angrier. So much so Jungkook was inches from grabbing Taehyung by his wrist to forcefully make him stay and explain himself.

However, JK managed to swallow his pride and let the boy go for now. He still didn't understand such behavior but whatever was the reason for it only meant that something terribly bad was happening with Taehyung. He didn't want to push, but on the other hand, he had to do something. He couldn't let go like that.

He looked at the yellow note in his hand. As much as he wanted to rip it off and throw it away, he had to keep it eventually. So he slipped it into the pocket of his jeans and cursed under his breath. Then he rushed the other way but he was sure he would not focus on any of the classes today.

Chapter Text

Jungkook was under the impression that the third desk on the left side of the classroom attracted more attention than a concert of the greatest pop stars in this universe. The eyes of all of the students, and even the teacher himself, were focused on one spot and this spot only. JK caught himself looking in that direction as well, but unlike the others, he had no problem with looking away. One simple glance was enough; he didn't need to double-check.

Because how long can you stare at Taehyung sitting over a textbook? How long for God's sake?

It wasn't an extraordinary view for Jungkook but apparently, it was for the others. Since the boy was known not only as a walking perfection but also as a perfect student, seeing him in detention could have been quite surprising for many, even for the teacher. No wonder they all kept eyeing the boy. They were probably wondering what on Earth had happened for Taehyung to get the infamous yellow note.

The only one who seemed to be uninterested in this weird staring contest was Taehyung himself. He sat comfortably on his chair, rested his elbow on the desktop with his hand steadily supporting his head, and in such a position he flipped through the pages of his textbook. When he wasn't taking notes in the notebook, he played with the pencil, tossing it between his fingers or biting the tip. His left hand however did not move from the boy's temple, firmly anchoring his fingers between the curly black strands. And it went on like that for over half an hour. Taehyung never looked up. Not even once.

JK had already experienced detention; at one point in his life, he was even a regular there. Yet he still didn't quite know what should he do to make the time pass faster. He tried napping, then he started to mindlessly scraw something on a piece of paper to later finish by idly staring at the landscape just outside the window. Or more at the students who already finished their classes and were peacefully going home.

All of this just to not think about the basketball training that was just about to begin. The first training he was supposed to attend and the very same one he would probably sit through in this shithole.

Jungkook needed basketball. He hoped it would calm him down as it always did. It was his escape from raging thoughts, problems, weariness of the past days, from everything. JK could clear his mind, forget about the world and focus solely on basketball. It was his remedy, his best friend, his biggest treasure. Something he very much needed today.

Unfortunately, he couldn't find comfort in his beloved sport. All because of this damn Taehyung.

The very same Taehyung who looked so unbothered, so indifferent, as if nothing wrong has ever happened in his life. As if his thoughts were perfectly sorted, just as notes in his notebook. How was he so calm was still a mystery for Jungkook. And even though he kind of admired Taehyung for being so composed, he also hated him for taking it so easily. Because Jungkook couldn't keep a hold of himself at all.

He was the complete opposite of stoic, almost statuesque Taehyung. Even though it wasn't as bad as in the morning, Jungkook still couldn't control his emotions. His nervousness and frustration were more than clearly visible. He kept tapping his fingers on the top of the desk, and his right leg was twitching spontaneously. He often took deep breaths and tried to calm himself this way, but nothing helped. Especially not the sight of a completely calm Taehyung. If anything, it should be the other way around.

Suddenly, the door opened and a boy with white hair, a yellow cap, and a black hoodie marched inside. Jungkook had no problem recognizing him, in fact, he was surprised that the boy wasn't here from the beginning. Yoongi grunted, muttered something under his breath, and walked over to the teacher to hand him a yellow note.

"Ah, Yoongi, finally," the teacher greeted him cheerfully. "I was about to think the world went crazy. Seeing Mr. Kim here and not seeing you? A truly unforgettable moment."

Yoongi just snorted, but there was something warm about this gesture. Just as if he was comfortably close with the teacher on detention duty today. Technically, if Yoongi was a regular here, they must have known each other rather well, hanging together during detention hours every other day. While JK thought there weren't any teachers Yoongi liked and vice versa, Mr. Jenkins must have been the only exception. Hardly any teacher smiled at the sight of the school's bully.

The white-haired boy headed to one of the desks in the back (as expected). Jungkook took a risk and held out his hand, hoping the boy would high-five him along the way. Yoongi, however, completely ignored him (as expected), walked past him in silence without even sparing him a glance (as expected), and sat down two rows behind. He tossed his backpack on the desktop and comfortably rested his head just to take a nap.

"As expected," JK murmured to himself and hid his right hand which wasn't greeted by Yoongi.

Maybe for the better. The boy probably still remembered yesterday's quarrel. And if by that time Jungkook was quite disappointed because this meaningless squabble deprived him of a comfortable ride back home in Jimin's car, that now he thanked all the gods in the universe for this small argument with Yoongi. God only knows what could have happened if he hadn't walked on that bridge yesterday.

Jungkook sighed and a moment later the door swung open once again. Similarly, the white-haired boy stood in the doorway, however, this one couldn't be more different from Yoongi. He was way taller and twice as buffed as Yoongi, so much so JK was under the impression he won't fit into the door frame and will have to enter the room sideways.

Gosh, Jimin wasn't lying when he called him a monster, Jungkook thought while looking at Namjoon wearing their team's training outfit. It was a simple grey T-shirt and black shorts, yet the boy looked as if he could mortally damage half of the people in this room with just a few swings. What does he even eat?

"Mr. Jenkins, can I have a moment, please?" Namjoon asked politely. And at the sound of his request, Jungkook immediately sat up properly. He sensed Joon's presence was closely related to him.

The teacher put back the book he was reading and lowered his glasses.

"Namjoon, it's called detention for a reason," the man responded lazily, and for a while, they were just intensively staring at each other. But it didn't take long for the teacher to smile widely. "Ah, but who am I to say no to our greatest team captain, huh? Just make it quick."

Namjoon smiled, thanking the man quietly, and started moving toward Jungkook. When he was walking over to reach him, JK could see the exact moment when Joon realized Taehyung was one of the students in detention. He seemed surprised but just like JK before, he quickly looked away and focused on his goal, which apparently was Jungkook's desk.

Joon stood over it and impetuously smashed both his hands on the desktop, making a lot of noise. So much so that Jungkook wasn't the only one jumping in shock on his chair. Everyone immediately turned to them to see what had happened. Even Taehyung dropped his pencil.

"So this is how you waste a chance I gave you, huh?" Namjoon said firmly, almost like a parent scolding his misbehaving child. "I believe you should be on the court right now. Am I wrong?"

Jungkook was too stunned to respond. He rarely could be intimidated by someone's words, yet somehow Namjoon had that special quality in his voice and actions which made him freeze completely. At once he forgot how to snap back and fight, as he had never done that before, as if it wasn't in his veins, in his rebellious nature. The feisty bad boy people know him for was gone in a split second. How did Namjoon manage to do it with just a few words?

"I will not approve of somebody who disrespects team members and their time. How can we be a team if one person is missing and misbehaving like that?"

The scolding continued but the worst was about to come. Namjoon grabbed his hips and added with an audible disappointment in his voice, "I guess you're out of the team before you even were in one."

Namjoon's words not only echoed around the room but also pierced through Jungkook's heart like a poisoned arrow. This couldn't be happening. He has not just been removed from the team like that, right?

He needed basketball. It was almost like a drug for him. The only source of happiness, the only thing that would make his life a little less boring and a little more passionate, the only thing capable of keeping him at ease. Basketball was his escape from reality and he desperately needed it to survive. He dreamed of playing in the team so he couldn't believe such a chance was taken away from him because of... Because of what?

Jungkook expected Namjoon to be a rather strict and extraordinary leader, as the boy had proven to him during the tryouts. Yet he couldn't believe Joon go that far with his decision. JK didn't skip the training because he didn't care about the team; it was all because of that damn chain of unfortunate events that started yesterday. If it wasn't for that bridge accident, he wouldn't have overslept for the first classes and wouldn't get caught by the teacher. And by now he would be changing into training clothes in the locker room ready for the first game.

But no—he had to sit in detention. All because of the boy who slowly bent down to pick up a dropped pencil. Jungkook swore to God that if he really got kicked out of the team, he'd throw Taehyung over the railing of that damn bridge himself. Without any regrets.

Jungkook had to find a way to defend himself and fight for his position in the team. He could even beg if needed. JK knew arguing with Joon won't be an easy one, but still, he had to try. So he finally looked up to face Namjoon. From the tone of his previous statements, he expected to meet the boy's piercing gaze, but all he could find was a strange playful smirk glued to his lips. Something was wrong.

"What are you doing?" Jungkook asked with a slightly shaky voice.

"I'm getting you out of here so play along," Namjoon whispered, so only JK could hear him.

It took Jungkook a moment to realize the meaning of his words. So this whole thing wasn't real? It was just a silly stunt? He wasn't kicked out of the team? Oh, God. The weight fell from his shoulders and he could finally breathe again.

And though his heartbeat started to normalize it wasn't the end of this conversation. The show was about to begin and although Jungkook didn't quite know where it was going and what Namjoon had in mind, he decided to keep calm and play along. He hoped it was worth it.

"You know exactly what I am doing." Namjoon got back to his firm tone. "You're out of my team."

"No, Joon, please. You can't do that."

Jungkook tried to sound desperate which only gained him a tiny nod from Namjoon.

"I can do it and I will. And I don't care how good are you. I don't care about all your trophies and titles. I don't care about how worshiped you were back in Atlanta. Even prodigies have to act decent and obey some basic rules. No exceptions."

Well, most of Jungkook's achievements presented by Joon were a bit far-fetched; some of them were just from his freshman year and some didn't happen at all. JK was a good player, but he certainly wouldn't call himself a prodigy. Maybe some time ago he could have thought about it with some proper training, but definitely not now.

However, great exaggeration was much needed to execute their plan and it, fortunately, paid off. In one second, Mr. Jenkins approached Namjoon and placed a condescending hand on his shoulder, trying to pull him away.

"Wait a minute, Namjoon, what is happening here?" he asked quite concerned, clenching his glasses in his right hand.

"I'm sorry for making a scene, professor. I just had to do my duties."

"Duties? I've never seen you removing a person from the team like that."

"And I have never seen one of my players skipping training because of detention," Namjoon responded casually. "There are some rules. I can't accept someone who breaks them."

"But... but... You said he's good."

"He's extremely good. And it hurt my sports spirit to do so but as a responsible leader I have to think about the team—"

"Exactly! Think about the team!"

The teacher cut in and put his other hand on Namjoon's shoulder. It looked as if he wanted to shake the boy if necessary but considering a rather huge difference in their postures, the man had zero chances of succeeding. What's more, JK was sure Joon could easily get out of the man's grip with a simple shrug.

"You almost won last year's nationals, Namjoon. You were so close. So close! Aish! If it wasn't for the semis and that last second's madness, ugh!" The man sounded madly obsessed with the memories of that particular match from last season. "But this year? This year you can win! You're a senior. It's your last chance to do it with this team. Wouldn't you want to have the best guys to help you finally raise that trophy?"

The teacher was clearly trying to dissuade Namjoon from kicking Jungkook out of the team, which was quite an interesting process itself. The way he passionately spoke about past games and plans for the future suggested that he was a big fan of the school team. Maybe that's why his talk with Namjoon seemed so casual.

Joon grabbed his hips and bit his lip uncertainly as if he was considering the teacher's words. It looked somehow funny to Jungkook since he knew the boy only pretended to be mad and had already made the decision. But he was rather convincing in his acting. What a dedication.

"It would be nice to raise that trophy," Joon said softly as if he was imagining his biggest dream coming true in front of his eyes. "But what should I do know? I can train him if he sits here. What if it will happen more often? What about consistency?"

Important questions were asked and they were directly related to what they wanted to achieve. The boys stared expectantly at the teacher, who in turn was watching them carefully. He was nervously biting the edge of his glasses only to put them on his nose in the end. Such a gesture meant that he had made a decision.

"Oh, come on, Mr. Jenkins." The low voice suddenly came from the back of the room, only to reveal Yoongi was no longer asleep. "Just let him go, don't be a dic—"

"Thank you, Yoongi," the teacher stopped him just before he could finish that one offensive word. The man rolled his eyes, as if a similar situation had happened more than once, and finally focused back on Jungkook sitting in front of him.

"Let me be clear. If you don't win that trophy, I'll personally make you sit here through the whole summer," the teacher said firmly but after a big sigh, his expression changed into the more sympathetic one. "Now go and work your ass off."

He smiled widely and tapped Jungkook gently on the shoulder, giving him some positive energy. JK whispered a quick thank you and shook the man's hand right after Namjoon did it. The white-haired boy exchanged two more insignificant sentences with the teacher, accompanied him to the desk, and went toward the exit himself.

Jungkook quickly got up from his chair before the teacher could change his mind, though, after everything he'd heard, it wasn't likely to happen. He slung his bag over his shoulder and pushed his way toward the exit.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Yoongi lying down on his backpack again, but this time the boy gently waved him goodbye. JK nodded because, after all, Yoongi also contributed to this performance. He did so in his own—rather unusual—way, but still, he helped him. And considering the words he wanted to use to motivate the teacher to let him go, they really must have been on good terms. Maybe the speaking terms even.

As JK grabbed the doorknob, he took one last look around the room and subconsciously locked his gaze on Taehyung. The boy was still focused on his textbooks, making some notes and playing with the pencil in his right hand. As expected, the boy didn't look up, not even for a second.

Jungkook felt a little bad for leaving him here when they both got the detention. Besides, he still didn't know if he could trust Taehyung enough to leave him alone. After their previous conversation, Jungkook was still greatly concerned and knew the case was far from being closed. And as much as he wanted to solve it, he also had to live his own life and take care of his business. And he needed a little bit of basketball right now.

So assuming that at school nothing bad can happen to the boy, JK finally left the classroom. Namjoon was already waiting outside and as soon as the door closed behind him, the boy threw his arm around Jungkook's neck.

"Oh my, my, my. What do I have with you, huh?" he said jokingly which only made Jungkook even more embarrassed. He shot him a small grimace and freed himself from the boy's embrace. He didn't like to be treated as a child yet somehow in Namjoon's presence it was inevitable.

"Thanks for the rescue," Jungkook straightened up to look more confident. In this way, he wanted to show that he is more independent and can take care of his problems without the help of others. "But you didn't have to do that."

"Oh yes, I did. I wasn't joking when I said I need all team members on the court."

Jungkook was honestly surprised that Namjoon took care of him too, even though he wasn't technically a teammate yet. He didn't play a single practice with them, he didn't know their names, history, or positions. He knew nothing, had no connections, no trust, no respect. Yet he was treated as if he had known Namjoon for four years and he pull his best player and buddy out of a stupid situation just so they could train together.

Jungkook was genuinely grateful for such treatment, though the wasn't very good at showing it. So instead of gratitude, he decided to let his curiosity speak for him. "How did you know I'm here?"

"Yoongi told me."

Jungkook was surprised at first, but not for long. It made sense. He showed the boy a yellow note during one of the breaks. Even the fact he was late was understandable now. He didn't think that Yooongi had such a desire to even casually help others, especially not after yesterday's quarrel. But apparently, for people he was on speaking terms with, he could act a little less grumpy.

"So he snitched on me again?"

Namjoon smiled. "You can say that."

"What about this whole show? You know I almost shit my pants in panic."

"You looked exactly as if you were about to," the boy teased him but continued with an explanation, "Rest was just a formality. Mr. Jenkins is a complete sports freak. He absolutely loves basketball and is the biggest fan of our team."

That explained why the man was so excited when it came to the team activities and matches. The passion with which he spoke about last season's finals couldn't be faked. He even gave Namjoon some tips on how to manage his team. That was crazy.

"He often comes to our matches with his family, trying to convince his oldest son to start playing as well. Whenever we travel for away matches he volunteers to be our guardian, besides the coach of course. I think he wants us to succeed even more than we want it."

Namjoon chuckled and put his hand on Jungkook's shoulder. "So all I had to do was convince him that you are the key to success."

These words sounded so casual that Jungkook didn't know if they were still part of the act or if Namjoon truthfully spoke his mind. In the end, he decided it must have still been the act; JK couldn't be the key to anyone's success.

That is why he casted Namjoon a shy smile not really knowing how to take such a compliment and immediately changed the topic. "Mr. Jenkins seems like a likable teacher, no?"

Joon smiled widely at the mention of the man; the appearance of his dimples clearly indicated his fondness for Mr. Jenkins.

"Because he is." Namjoon shrugged. "Everybody likes him and he likes most of us. Even Yoongi."

"Yeah, that's what surprised me the most."

Jungkook couldn't help but smile. With each small conversation, he learned a little bit more about Yoongi and though he was sure he would not know him completely, these small details were so precious to JK. Yoongi was such a peculiar persona and he failed to believe anyone truly knew the boy. It sounded awfully close to the other boy he was now involuntarily involved with, but this case was way more complicated.

And Jungkook somehow wanted to solve both of these mysteries. Though one of them seemed to be a little more urgent.

Chapter Text

Jungkook was silently unpacking books from his backpack to the locker when his eyes suddenly closed for a second. He was extremely tired and not far from falling asleep while standing. He hadn't had a good sleep since last week; he simply couldn't find peace within himself. Thoughts of that damn evening made him sleepless and he couldn't stop worrying about what was happening with Taehyung in recent days.

Day after day, the boy sat on his infamous bench, wading in the hot sun and constantly writing something in his notebook. Just as always; as if nothing had happened. Although this fake calmness irritated Jungkook more than anything else in the world, it was also quite a reassuring sight. As long as the boy was still sitting there, he was still among the living, and that was what mattered most.

They haven't spoken since the afternoon they both landed in detention. The boy never approached him and Jungkook never asked, though sometimes he really wanted. He just didn't know how to start this conversation. JK didn't want to be nosey or overprotective. He couldn't force Taehyung to confess yet he at least needed to know if the boy was somehow okay or if he needed some help. The way he acted around school indicated everything was more than fine, but Jungkook couldn't be fooled so easily. Something must have been going on, and that made JK more anxious than ever.

He woke up each morning with a strange feeling of uncertainty that passed away only when he saw Taehyung sitting freely on that goddamned bench before the first period. And that is why he started coming to school slightly earlier, just to not be late and not to miss those few minutes before the classes start just to see the boy sitting in that spot. He had to make sure he was okay. At least from a distance.

He didn't understand why he was reacting like that, but it had to stop one day. He promised himself to talk to the boy about it after the weekend. If he still hasn't found any professional help, he will probably take him by the hand and lead him to a specialist himself. Doesn't matter if the boy wanted it or not. This time it was for his own sake. Otherwise, Jungkook knew he would not fall asleep in peace. And he really missed a good sleep.

"Are you okay?" Jungkook heard a caring voice beside him and turned his head to face Jimin. "You look like shit."

"Thanks," he responded sarcastically. He didn't want to hear that right now, though it was pretty much true.

"But seriously, you look awful. Are you okay?"

Jimin seemed to be worried about his condition and has been suspicious since that fateful day. Each time Jungkook managed to brush him off with a little white lie, but he knew he couldn't hide from him all the time. When it came to things like that and weird hunches, Jimin was unmatched. It's like he had a sixth sense for people's problems and worries.

So Jungkook decided it was worth partially admitting that he hadn't been feeling well lately. He quickly explained the problem but kept to himself why he was struggling.

"I just need some sleep."

"Jeez, as if I heard Yoongi."

Jungkook couldn't help but smile. It did sound like Yoongi. "This time he's right."

It was sleep that JK needed the most since he kept wandering around like a zombie all day and had no strength for anything. Mornings were the worst, lack of sleep and the stress that accompanied him until he saw the boy sitting on the bench was unbearable. Only then was he able to function properly and force himself to eat something. Nothing squeezed by his closed throat till then. Not even his beloved banana milk.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jimin insisted as if he knew it was more to this than a simple bad sleep schedule. "You can stop by my place for some drinks and video games and stay overnight. It's Friday in the end. I'll ask dad to make us something good to eat. My mum will be delighted to see you again."

The idea was tempting, to say the least. He hadn't spent much time with Jimin lately or even in recent years. He missed it: a simple sleepover with his best friend, doing absolutely nothing else but playing and eating snacks all night. Not to mention Jimin's dad being an amazing cook. He always treated them with something delicious. Jungkook hadn't seen the blond's family for a long time and in a way he even missed them. When he was younger, they were like caring uncles to him. Damn, he really needed an evening like this.

On the other hand, he hoped to finally get some sleep the moment he comes back home. It was supposed to rain heavily in the afternoon, for the first time in a week, and he hoped that with the cooler weather and the sound of rain, he would somehow fall asleep on his own. His body could no longer resist sleep. So even though he really wanted to meet Jimin, he had to say no.

"It's going to rain later and you know it's always a blackout in our area during heavy storms. I remember how many times the power cut down during our most memorable fights in Tekken."

"All of which I was winning of course."

Jimin couldn't stop himself from this remark and partially he was right. Gosh, these were the good times. Even Jungkook had to smile at that memory. How many times they had to stop playing because of the storm? Well, the Tekken fights were cut off but it never stopped them from finishing the fight on their own, fighting in the living room with tiny punches until Jimin's mum had to separate them. Too bad that innocent times were long gone.

"It is really about getting some more sleep," Jungkook added softly, just to convince his friend it's not that big deal. "But I appreciate your offer Jimin-ssi. You're the best."

He squizzed Jimin's arm and smiled at his friend just to seem more sincere. Jimin, of course, had to once more examine Jungkook carefully before he could finally let go.

"Okay," he sighed. "But if not today then maybe Saturday? Or next weekend?"

"I'll let you know."

Jungkook nodded and closed his locker, suggesting he had to get ready for another class and finish this chit-chat at the same time. Jimin bit his lip hesitantly as if he was still worried, but finally shook his head and gave his friend an encouraging smile. And so they both went their separate ways and the blonde didn't have a chance to see Jungkook yawning all the way to biology class.

⊷⊶

By the time he got home, it was already dark and cold outside. He could sense the characteristic smell of the rain in the air indicating a storm was about to come. Just as the weather forecast predicted. Before the first raindrops fall, Jungkook entered the apartment, took off his shoes, and immediately threw himself on his bed. He desperately needed some sleep and hoped this would be the moment his body finally gives up and takes the much-needed rest.

Jungkook closed his eyes but not a second passed until raindrops started gently tapping on the window glass. At first, the sound was rather pleasurable, like a lullaby, calm enough to make him fall asleep easily. But with each passing minute, the sound became louder and rather irritating, like an alarm clock that cannot be silenced no matter how hard he tried. All Jungkook could focus on was this damn sound.

He growled, turned to the side, and finally sat up on the bed. One look through the window was enough to see the mighty storm blowing wind and rain in all directions possible. In such conditions, there were no chances for JK to get some sleep. Gosh, he missed it so much.

The raindrops only reminded him of the last evening when it was raining just as badly. That evening. It's been almost a week since then and he still couldn't forget. Well, he probably would never forget the view of Taehyung standing lifelessly in his living room, in completely soaked clothes, with that blank almost frightening gaze. The view he was afraid to see each time he entered the living room. The view still sent some shivers down his spine.

Jungkook didn't want to see Taehyung like that ever again. He definitely preferred the latter view when the boy finally came out of the bathroom, dressed in his T-shirt, with wet hair smelling like his shampoo and these extremely lively pink lips. The look was much more hopeful, much more promising.

He shook his head and got up from the bed. He must have been really stupid if he thought he could sleep during such a rainstorm. It only reminded him of that ghostly evening, making his thoughts go even wilder than before. Luckily it wasn't raining since that incident or he would have gone crazy already. He should have listened to Jimin and agreed on spending the night at his place. At least he wouldn't be left alone with his thoughts and memories. He hated that.

There was only one thing that could help him relax at such times—basketball. For obvious reasons, he couldn't play at this moment, so he just put on a random match on TV and sat comfortably on the couch. He forced himself to look at the TV screen instead of following the damn raindrops on the window glass. Surprisingly the match was interesting enough to keep him at ease for almost three quarts.

Jungkook got cold sitting like that so he stood up to get himself a hoodie and prepare a warm tea before the last part of the match could begin. He just managed to grab the hoodie when he heard a shy knock at his door. He was surprised at first but when he heard the knocking once again after a while, he knew he couldn't have imagined it.

JK sighed. It was probably his neighbor who would again ask him to turn down the TV volume. He hated the man who always made weird excuses just to bother him all the time. A nonsense quarrel with an irritating elder man wasn't really on his mind today so he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. He was in no mood for life lectures.

He opened the door ready for the scolding but was completely shocked by the sudden discovery. Nothing could have prepared him for that. The man standing in front of him was not his neighbor, but someone of a much greater importance.

Taehyung.

He stood there, drenched to the skin. Water dripped slowly from his wet flat hair glued to his forehead and trickled down his chin and neck. His skin was pale white and probably just as cold as his almost blue lips. And the eyes. They were darker than Jungkook had ever seen them. They were holding even more darkness within. The boy's uncertain gaze was packed with fear. The very same fear which made his chin firmly clenched forming a sharp straight line.

The boy was shivering and breathing heavily as if he had just been running and had to lean his hand against the door frame just to catch his breath. And that's when Jungkook noticed the brown jacket and trousers that were slightly too long. He recognized them immediately just like the white formal shirt which again firmly stuck to Taehyung's body. The same way as before. Although it wasn't muddy this time, JK could still see the stains from the last evening.

It was the same view. The view Jungkook wanted never to see again. And it didn't take him long to connect the dots.

"I told you not to come to me if you want to do it again," he said angrily and had to stop himself from shouting.

There was only one possible conclusion from what he saw; the one Jungkook was most afraid of. Whatever was happening with the boy just some minutes ago and whatever was still going on inside his head could only mean he didn't listen to his previous words carefully enough. There was one condition under which JK agreed to help him; the one Taehyung just didn't follow.

Jungkook had helped him once, but he had neither the physical nor mental strength to do it the second time. He was already a mess with so many sleepless nights and irrational fears.

He was angry. Angry at the boy for being so reckless, so selfish for coming here after what he wanted to do. Just as if all his efforts to keep the boy alive the first time were in vain. What was the purpose of the fighting on the bridge and all these silly conversations and arguments in the school halls? It was all fake from the beginning. How could he get played like that?

Jungkook vouched for Taehyung's life and it turned out to be a huge mistake.

JK felt disgusted by the boy's behavior as well as his own. It was all messed up and he was already fed up with all this bullshit. There was no place for merciful Jungkook. No more. He won't let himself be fooled again.

He turned around and wanted to close the door forcefully but Taehyung put his shoe on the doorstep, preventing this movement. His frozen hand tried to grab the handle but JK had no intention of letting him in.

"Get out!" Jungkook shouted this time.

"Please, let me explain," Taehyung begged with a weak voice.

"There's no need to explain. It's rather obvious to me."

"I know, but—"

"If you know, then get out!"

These words ended their conversation, as Jungkook pushed the door with all his strength and finally closed it with a loud thud. He kept his hand on the handle for a moment longer and tried to calm himself down and digest everything he had seen and heard. There was nothing to explain. These clothes, the rain, and the fear in the boy's eyes could only suggest one thing. He couldn't have been mistaken.

Jungkook was adamant and somewhat regretted having chosen to treat Taehyung this way, but decided there was no better option. Maybe being firm instead of compassionate about the boy's condition would make him finally take care of himself properly? On the other hand, since only Jungkook knew about his tragic condition, maybe a rejection would be even worse? Shit, nothing made sense here. There was no good solution. Jungkook just couldn't think of one. And when his mind couldn't come up with a plan, he acted on his emotions. And shutting the door to Taehyung's face was an outcome.

After three deep breaths Jungkook took to calm himself down he realized a significant part of him even rejoiced at the first moment he saw Taehyung on his doorstep. He hoped that this was the moment when the boy would decide to abandon these strange suicidal tendencies and start living differently, possibly with his help. And that's probably why he got mad when he saw that the boy had taken a completely different path.

And although Jungkook had been furious and adamant just a moment ago, clearly articulating why he would not help the boy, his cold façade started to shred. All because of these damn eyes. No matter how angry and disgusted JK was, there was no way in the world he would deny help to someone who looked at him with so much fear in their eyes.

Taehyung needed help and at this moment Jungkook was the only one who could help him.

JK sighed heavily and finally pressed the handle to open the door. He looked around the staircase but Taehyung was nowhere to be found. Jungkook was sure the boy would wait outside and yet he disappeared again. It was bad. Taehyung was capable of everything, especially that one thing, and Jungkook would never forgive himself if his words had hurt him even more.

Jungkook cursed under his breath and quickly put on his shoes. Going outside in such weather wasn't his plan for the evening but under such circumstances, he had no other choice. He had to find Taehyung.

He slammed the door shut behind him and ran down the stairs to the first floor. He was about to run outside when he saw a well-known figure standing just in front of the building. A weight fell off his shoulders knowing that the boy did not go far. That he hadn't gone anywhere at all.

Jungkook gently opened the door and stepped outside. He took two steps forward, catching up with Taehyung, who stood underneath the edge of the small roof. The raindrops were falling once on the sidewalk and once on the toes of his shoes. The boy shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his pants and stared indifferently at the puddles forming in front of him. God only knows what was he imagining while looking at them.

He was still pale but it seemed as if he finally caught his breath and calmed a little. His stance, however, suggested he was somehow angry or irritated with something which didn't match his previous behavior. Jungkook also noticed him nervously biting his lip or cheek every now and then. It was oddly fascinating to see him like this.

"I couldn't do it," Taehyung said suddenly, without looking away from the pouring rain. "I wanted to but I couldn't."

Jungkook did not expect such a confession. He knew what had probably happened before the boy came here but still hearing Taehyung confirming it in such a casual way hit him hard.

Maybe subconsciously JK counted that it was only his imagination that played a trick on him and made him think that history had repeated itself. He really wanted to believe it. But in the end, the story was definitely more tragic, though fortunately not with such a tragic ending.

Either way, it all gave Jungkook a cold shiver. His throat was dry and he had a hard time swallowing. And he knew it wasn't the end of the story. Well, it wasn't even the beginning.

"And I probably won't be able to do it ever again," he continued. "All because of you."

Finally, Taehyung looked away from the rain and locked his gaze on Jungkook. He had a really piercing glare and it was probably the first time he had looked at him in such a serious way. Jungkook didn't know how to respond to that. He knew he was already involved in the boy's story since he decided to save him that day, but hearing it straight from the boy felt differently. Somehow Taehyung's words sounded more like an accusation instead of a simple statement or a plea for help. And Jungkook wasn't ready for such an approach.

"The thing is I still don't know if I should hate you for that or be extremely grateful."

The last words that Taehyung whispered were barely audible all because of heavy rain hitting the metal roof. Yet Jungkook managed to catch all of them. Each of them separately and all of them together were really painful to hear.

Jungkook watched the boy carefully as he stared blankly at the rain again, playing with the hem of his jacket. He was such a mess. And even though it wasn't his mess to clean, and JK really didn't want to get dirty, he finally offered.

"Do you want to talk?"

"Will you listen now?" Taehyung spat back immediately. He obviously didn't like how he had been treated a moment ago.

Jungkook nodded slowly in a small gesture of apology. Slamming the door in front of the boy wasn't the nicest gesture but he had a good reason to do so. The same reason that now allowed him to finally hear the boy out. The condition was simple and Taehyung just admitted he wouldn't be able to do that ever again. And although there was still the word probably in front of this confession, something in the boy's behavior, maybe this strange anger, suggested that this time he wasn't lying.

"I told you, I am a good listener," Jungkook said softly. That was enough to remind Taehyung of his good intentions.

Taehyung stared at him hesitantly for a moment longer, but finally nodded and went straight inside the building. Jungkook stayed a little longer and took a few deep breaths of cold, rainy air. Somehow he had a feeling he would need them.

They entered the apartment and just as the last time, Taehyung left his shoes and jacket in the hall and automatically headed toward the kitchen. He took the same place and placed his hands on the counter, squeezing them tightly. He bit his lip even harder, so much so that Jungkook thought he was about to see fresh blood. Taehyung didn't care about his wet clothes or hair; he just sat there and waited, though JK couldn't really tell what for.

Jungkook knew the boy was far away from being calm but maybe it would be easier for both of them to talk it through after Taehyung takes care of his wet clothes. A hot shower would surely help him and maybe soothe some of his still raging thoughts and emotions; wash over the rain and memories from the bridge.

Or maybe that was what Jungkook wanted so badly since he couldn't focus on anything else than the white shirt firmly pressed to the boy's wet skin.

He shook his head and focused on making teas just not to look at him for a moment. Taehyung didn't seem interested in changing into something dry so the tea was the only way to make him at least a little bit warm. Jungkook desperately needed one as well. Since he opened the door for the boy, he was terribly cold. And not because of the weather.

So when five minutes later Jungkook placed the cup of hot tea on the counter just in front of Taehyung, he was ready to hear whatever was bothering the boy. Admittedly, nothing could have prepared him for what Taehyung wanted to confess, and he also doubted that the boy would tell him everything. All that mattered was that he should let go of the burden he was carrying with him that evening. They could take care of the rest another time.

Taehyung wrapped his fingers around his cup again, whispering a soft thank you, and mindlessly stared at the tea leaves floating inside.

"I know you told me not to come to you if I still want to do it. I remember it clearly. You meant it and... I did as well, "he started softly but somehow Jungkook felt like his words weighed a lot more. "That is exactly why we haven't spoken since that day."

Taehyung looked up to see Jungkook's reaction but it took him a while to finally understand the true meaning of his words. And this realization hit him harder than he would have expected.

All this time Jungkook has been waiting for the boy to contact him so they could talk it through, just as he had promised during their argument in front of the counselor's office. JK kept the promise and haven't told anybody about the incident until then but was slowly running out of patience. Still, he thought Taehyung was just waiting for the opportune moment, not really knowing how to ask for help or how to approach him.

Turns out the boy has never wanted his help.

Taehyung still wanted to do it; still wanted to make the same mistake, the same stupid decision. And this was the only condition under which Jungkook did not want to help him. No wonder Taehyung has never contacted him—he did exactly what JK told him to do. Jungkook felt an unpleasant shudder knowing that his request had been misinterpreted that much.

"I am a really good liar, Jungkook. I think you already know that," Taehyung continued only after he was sure that Jungkook understood his previous words. "Every time I told you I was fine or that I didn't want to do it, I was lying."

He removed his hands from the cup and pointed a finger toward Jungkook.

"You were right not to trust me. Because all I was waiting for this whole week was this fucking rain so I could go to the same damn place on that same stupid bridge and finish the one thing you selfishly stopped me from doing."

Taehyung raised his voice, which slowly began to tremble as he made his way through the events on the bridge. And while he found it hard to talk about it, Jungkook found it even harder to listen. He didn't trust the boy from the beginning, and his gut feeling didn't seem to be deceiving him, as confirmed by the boy himself.

He felt sick knowing that he had read the boy's behavior right, and yet he hasn't done anything about it all week. When he was drinking his banana milk lying on the grass, Taehyung must have been sitting on his bench in the sun and praying for rain to come. What if it wasn't raining for another month? How much would he have to wait? What would it change? Jungkook didn't even want to think about it.

"And finally, I was there today, in the same spot as before," Taehyung continued with his eyes focused on the one point on the counter, but he was probably imagining that damn bridge all over again. "But something wasn't right. Something felt... different. And only when I grabbed the wet railing did I realize it was all because of you."

Taehyung looked up and gazed into the worried eyes of JK, who seemed surprised by such a confession. The sudden mention of him took Jungkook aback and but he couldn't even ask about it. His throat was shut tight and it was hard for him to swallow, yet to talk. He was sure that whatever words he wanted to speak would end up sounding like a weird growl. So he only managed to point a finger at himself as an inaudible way of asking if Taehyung for sure was referring to him.

And there could not be a mistake about it. The boy just shook his head thoughtlessly, took a deep breath, and continued with a shaky voice.

"You see, I lived my life in such a way that if one day I decide to... to jump, it won't hurt anybody except me; the goal was to have no one who would care enough to stop me and no one to really care after. And I managed to do it. I archived something I precisely created for years."

Taehyung seemed satisfied with his rather unusual, maybe even tragic achievement. His eyes lit up but only for a second. His expression quickly changed and his latter words sounded more like an accusation. An accusation JK found hard to listen to.

"And it was you who suddenly came into my perfect equation and made it completely unsolvable."

Jungkook could feel his heart stopping for a second and it didn't want to work again. Especially not when the boy explained his thoughts a moment later.

"Because how could I predict that someone would be walking down this bridge in such horrible weather? How could I predict a complete stranger so badly fighting for my life, huh? You did that even though we spoke only twice. Twice. And they weren't even friendly conversations."

Well, one of them ended up with Jungkook throwing a pack of cigarettes at him. But before JK could recall that memory, Taehyung continued. 

"A-and I remembered how much you cared even if I stopped caring for myself a long time ago. I saw how stressed you were during the talk with my brother or later in the week. I just knew you would regret not saying a word to the teachers or not warning other people about it, maybe even regretting not checking on me more often."

Taehyung was right. Every word he said was true. If the boy did what he wanted to do so much, Jungkook probably wouldn't have forgiven himself for not doing more. He knew that it was not his decision, nor his life, but after everything he had experienced he could not pass by indifferently. Even if he didn't like the boy before, this situation created an unbreakable bond between them, and even if he tried, he couldn't get out of it. Apparently, neither of them could.

"I thought I would be able to ignore you; not care about you and your intentions as I did with all the other people in my life but... but... You said you don't want to live on knowing that you couldn't save me and I-I just..."

He stopped for a second just to cry out the next words, "I just couldn't do it to you."

Taehyung buried his head in his hands and started rubbing his fingers against wet hair. He looked as if he wanted to hide and get rid of all the emotions he couldn't handle at once. And seeing him in such a chaotic state was really heartbreaking for Jungkook. Especially when he heard a few soft sobs coming from the boy. God, he was such a mess.

Jungkook hated dealing with crying people; it wasn't his biggest strength, yet he had to try it this time. Especially when he was partially responsible for the boy's state. Besides, he had a weird feeling that if he don't calm Taehyung down, his own heart would be hard to silence as well. As if these two things were weirdly connected.

He extended his hand to softly put it on the boy's shoulder when suddenly Taehyung lift his head and sat properly on the chair. He whipped the tears from his cheeks and eyelashes in one go, sniffled, and stared Jungkook dead in the eye.

"And I won't be able to do it ever again because each time I go there, I'll see your damn face."

He slammed his hand on the counter hard enough for both of the cups of tea to nearly jump. His attitude clearly changed and if a second ago he was a crying mess, then now he was almost furious. Again the switch between his two completely different personas was so fast and smooth that Jungkook didn't have time to adapt. His hand was still hanging somewhere over Taehyung's shoulder, although the soft pat of comfort he wanted to do a second ago was no longer an option.

"Why did you do that?! Why were you on the bridge that day?!" Taehyung asked angrily, his demanding tone suggesting he wanted the hear the answers immediately. "Why did you save me?! It would have been easier if you were never there."

It wouldn't have been easier, JK wanted to say it out loud but somehow he still couldn't force himself to speak. As if his mouth forgot how to do it. And he really should remind himself how to do it because the never-ending silence for his side wasn't only affecting him.

"Why you're not saying anything, huh? I asked you, why did you do that?"

"Well, I-I..."

JK tried to speak for the very first time since they'd entered the apartment and just as he thought, his voice immediately got caught in his throat. Because what he was supposed to say? Why did he save the boy? There was no reason for that. It was a natural reaction of his body and mind to help a person in such a critical situation. He did it rather automatically, he didn't think beforehand. It just... happened.

And if it was about to happen once more, he would do everything just the same to save the boy.

"I'll tell you why," Taehyung spoke up when Jungkook was still silent. "You didn't save me. You saved yourself from witnessing it. It was easier to stop me than to watch me fall. You did it for yourself."

These words seemed to hang in the air a little for a moment longer. And with each passing second they were more and more unbearable. Maybe because Taehyung was somehow right? Jungkook clearly remembered thinking that he couldn't allow somebody to mark his beloved neighborhood with such a tragedy. That he didn't want to witness it.

But clearly, he didn't do it only for himself. Above all, he wanted to save someone's life. That was the most important thing, without any hidden motives. JK knew that Taehyung looked at it from a different perspective. That he somehow blamed him for this failure. That his act was rather selfish but... it really wasn't.

Gosh. What a messed up way of thinking Taehyung had. Making him see the situation from a different point of view might be even harder than stopping him that day.

"Listen, I will not—"

"No, it's okay. You did the right thing," Taehyung continued with a sarcastic tone, shutting him once more. "Your conscience is clear and the society will be forever grateful for that, I'm sure. You can be happy now, right? You wanted to save me and you did. Here I am, alive."

He stopped for a second only to roll his eyes and snort, again in a really sarcastic manner. Within the last ten minutes, it was probably one of thousand emotions he had shown, and Jungkook found it hard to understand which was the closest to the true one. From anger to sadness and so many other feelings between them. Such a ride was hard to watch and probably way harder to endure.

Taehyung gloomily played with his cup, making circles with his finger on the thin edges of the white surface. It seemed to calm him down or maybe just fall deeper into his despair. He just sat there for a moment as if nothing else existed besides him and his cup of tea.

"But as you see I'm not saved. I don't know if I ever will be."

Taehyung whispered and if it wasn't for the direct phrase toward JK, he would have thought the boy was just speaking to himself. 

"Just don't mind me if I end up hating you, okay?" Taehyung raised his head to look at Jungkook. This time his words were meant for JK to hear. "I know I should be grateful but... I just can't. Not when I have to live my pathetic, meaningless, and empty life for way longer only because I was too weak to finish it when I should. Only because you selfishly stopped me."

How could Taehyung say such hurtful and tragic words was beyond Jungkook's imagination. Similaty as to why those words hurt JK so much. Why did he care? Why did it feel as if he was talking to someone so close to him? As if he shared someone's pain. It wasn't a natural feeling for him. He has never felt like this. 

And this weird feeling, stinging somewhere deep inside his heart, made him unable to act in any way.

But Taehyung was the complete opposite of stunned Jungkook. He was lively enough to suddenly stand up and go briskly towards the exit without looking back. It took Jungkook a while to understand what was happening and he immediately run after the boy. When he found him at the door, Taehyung was already wearing shoes, and he held his soaked jacket firmly in his left hand.

"Wait!" Jungkook wanted to stop him before he could leave his apartment.

"What do you want more, huh?" Taehyung spread his hands but this time his voice was firm as he almost shouted out the next words.

"I just—"

"You won. I won't do it. That's what you wanted to hear, right?"

"Yes, but—"

"Then you can just live on and I will as well. We'll see each other at school on Monday when I'll be back to my fake but alive self. Should I wear a blue or gray shirt? "

Jungkook didn't know what to say. He wanted to fight but each time he tried to speak, Taehyung always shut him down with his comments. Even though JK didn't say much, he still felt like the conversation wasn't over yet; that there were so many things they should go over.

He wanted to assure Taehyung that everything would be fine, that there was another solution to his problem. That he doesn't have to be his enemy, though if it's what he wants, he would gladly accept it. Anything just to not make the boy leave his apartment in such a state. It was still raining and even though Taehyung said he won't try it again, Jungkook still wasn't sure about it.

"We can find something that will not make your life meaningless," Jungkook offered and he meant it. He wanted to help Taehyung so badly.

"I don't believe such a thing exists."

"I can find—"

"Blue or gray?"

Jungkook tried once again but was cut short by the same shirt color question. He believed it was such a stupid thing to ask but Taehyung looked as if he wanted to know the answer. As it was the only thing he wanted to hear before heading out of the apartment.

JK didn't want to respond because it would mean he lost, even though the other boy claimed his victory just a second ago. Letting Taehyung go was the hardest thing to do, but he had no other choice this time. He still didn't trust him, but he decided to treat the shirt question as a promise that they would actually meet on Monday. And for now, that was the most important thing.

"Blue," he said finally.

Only after that Taehyung nodded and left the apartment closing the door rather loudly.

For a split second, the silence inside was unbearable and Jungkook didn't know what to do. It was too much for him. So much, that he felt his head spinning and aching like never before. Breathing also was harder than he had remembered. He hated to be the involuntarily involved one. It sucked. He didn't want to carry such responsibility on his shoulders any longer. Especially not now, when the boy made him guilty as if this whole incident was his fault.

He saved the boy but was he really saved?

Taehyung's words stuck in his mind because he knew that while the main problem was sort of cleared up (assuring the boy keeps his promise) it wasn't the end of trouble. Just the tip of the iceberg. And Jungkook knew he couldn't break it down on his own.

Now he was more than sure he would have a problem falling asleep if he sleeps this night at all. He wondered if he should take some pills to calm himself down but in the end, he decided not to. He simply sat on the couch but he felt as if he was falling into some abyss. The TV was still on but the game was over a long time ago. Even if it was, not even basketball would be able to calm him down right now. He was on his own.

"Blue," he suddenly said to himself. "A fuckin' blue."

He couldn't believe that of all the colors he chose this one. He hated blue. And if it meant peace, stability, and harmony, it couldn't be more out of place in this situation.

But in the end, blue seemed a little bit more hopeful than gray. And there was nothing Jungkook hoped for more than seeing Taehyung in a blue shirt on Monday.

Chapter Text

It was one of the worst weekends in Jungkook's life if not the worst.

He was extremely tired, both physically and mentally, and didn't really know what he was supposed to do with himself. Nothing seemed right and nothing could ease this weird feeling he got inside his heart. A lump in his throat grew bigger and bigger, to the point he was not able to eat or drink anything for two days. Occasionally banana milk helped but only a few sips could make his stomach go wild again. As if some crazy battle of nerves was taking place inside his intestines and his body was losing deliberately.

Sleep felt like a fancy, out-of-reach reward available only in an impossible-to-win lottery. Jungkook sent so many coupons but he couldn't even get a smaller reward in the form of a fifteen-minute-long nap. Nothing could make his eyes close and his body relaxed enough to catch these few minutes of needed sleep. Sleeping pills were like cheat codes in this game but even they couldn't help him win it. They were close, but apparently, the anxiety turned out to be the final boss—impossible to kill.

Jungkook spent both nights sitting comfortably on the balcony, smoking cigarettes, drinking banana milk, and stargazing. He counted passers-by, cars, trucks, and many other things just to kill time and make his mind stop thinking about Friday evening. Absolutely nothing helped and JK was sure he was on the verge of going crazy.

If Taehyung wanted to hate him for saving his life, Jungkook would most probably hate the boy for making him feel like shit this past week.

Maybe he should give him the medical bills to pay? It was rather hard to value the mental damage the boy's behavior made to him but if he keeps going like a zombie for any time longer, he would surely end up in the hospital. If not that then Taehyung could at least pay up for all the cigarette packs he used recently. And there were a lot of them.

Jungkook wanted to know why all of this must have happened to him. Why he was the one out of thousands of people living in this city to be walking down the bridge that day? Why him? Why was he the one who should care?

He wished the stars would give him an answer to all his questions so he kept stargazing through the whole night. Of course, he didn't even hear the quietest whisper in response, but deep inside his heart, Jungkook knew there was one reason why he and Taehyung might have met. It would be a rather huge coincidence but some things in life were just destined to be. The universe worked weirdly and that may have just been proof of that.

"Ah, fuck it," JK sighted to himself when he saw the sun shyly raising somewhere above the buildings in the distance. He spent the whole night on the balcony waiting for one of the most important mornings in his life. The morning that finally came.

It was Monday and if Taehyung kept his promise he should come to school in this damn blue shirt.

Part of Jungkook was sure he would see the boy sitting on his favorite bench before the first period, just as he always did. It hasn't been raining since Friday evening and the weather forecast showed no rain for the next few days. JK didn't know what the rain really meant for Taehyung, but after analyzing both accidents from the bridge, it must have been quite important for him somehow. So lack of rain for a few days was a promising sign.

But the other part of Jungkook still doubted. Each time he remembered all these hurtful words Taehyung told him in the kitchen, he grew more and more afraid he would never be able to talk with the boy ever again.

Jungkook couldn't wait any minute longer which is why he collected all the empty banana milk bottles from the table on the balcony and went inside the apartment. He took a quick shower, put some casual T-shirt on, grabbed his bag, and run downstairs. When he reached the bus stop only a few people waited there. He checked the time: it was quarter past six. Way too early to go to school but he didn't want to sit at his apartment anymore.

He envied a middle-aged man who fall asleep on the bus. JK would give up his soul here and now just to have a few minutes of sleep. Then he realized that maybe he had already sold his soul. Sold it to the boy he saved on the bridge. If so it was one of the stupidest contracts he has ever signed. Even if it wasn't aware of it, it was too late to fill in the complaint now.

Jungkook entered the school together with the security guard who was just opening the front door. The man was quite surprised seeing him there and well, JK couldn't blame him. Jungkook was the first person to come to school and he has never imagined that day would come. He most certainly used to be the one who arrives at the latest but this day wasn't a normal one.

He quickly went to the patio. It was the first time he has ever seen it so empty. It was such an unusual sight but Jungkook didn't come here to admire the view. He walked over to the infamous bench and simply sat down—something which by many would be most certainly considered controversial, but not for him. He already did it once though that time Taehyung was right beside him.

JK hoped that in a few minutes, similarly as before, he wouldn't be the only one sitting here. He didn't know at what time Taehyung usually came to school because each time he arrived, the boy was already sitting in his favorite place. Either way, Jungkook hoped he wouldn't be sitting alone for long.

Jungkook tried to relax a little but to no avail. He tilted his head backward and laid it on the back of the bench. In such a position he was able to catch all sunlight which pleasurably caressed his cheeks. Maybe that was why Taehyung liked to sit here so much? It was truly relaxing. So much so that Jungkook decided to take advantage of it and simply rest. His eyelids became heavier and he couldn't fight them anymore. He closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths of fresh morning air, and before he noticed, he already drifted away.

Sleep—something he thought was out of his reach came to him in a place that wasn't even destined to make him feel so sleepy. He shouldn't feel at ease with himself; not on this damn bench. Yet it was just there where he had the longest nap since Friday evening. Thirty minutes of desired sleep were truly a blessing.

Jungkook suddenly felt someone kicking him in the foot but it took him a long moment to understand what had happened. Only after a second, he realized he dozed off. And not only did he fall asleep the moment he should be nervously waiting for Taehyung to come, but also at his infamous bench. And if somebody kicked him it could only be one person.

Jungkook immediately opened his eyes and sat straight ready to confront the boy, only to see Jimin standing right over him with a worried expression on his face.

"Gukkie, what the hell are you doing?" he asked in a hushed tone as if he didn't want anybody else to hear their conversation. "You can't sit here."

The blond grabbed him by the wrist and tried to force him to stand up but Jungkook sat still. JK was still partially in shock after waking up so suddenly but most importantly he didn't care about all the school myths, superstitions, and reputation. He came here with one goal set: he was determined to sit on this bench until Taehyung himself would not tell him to move or decide to sit right beside him. No force would make him move from this place beforehand. And certainly not Jimin.

"I will sit here," JK grunted and sat more comfortably, suggesting he won't go anywhere.

"But you can't really do that. It's Taehyung's bench."

"I know."

"Then..."

"Then what? Is it signed?" Jungkook asked rhetorically. "I don't think so."

"But—"

"Just let me be, Jimin."

The blonde seemed really flustered with this whole situation. Almost like the mother whose child did something embarrassing in public and she had to act cool and apologetic toward all people gathered. And similarly to that child, Jungkook didn't give a single damn about it. Once again he closed his eyes, trying to catch some sunlight and maybe some sleep as well.

Jungkook clearly heard Jimin whispering something to himself and pacing nervously in front of him. JK tried to understand why the boy couldn't just let it go. It wasn't such a big deal, right? Because what would possibly happen if Taehyung caught him sitting there? He wasn't a bully. He most certainly wouldn't beat him up for taking his place. He would probably stay quiet knowing his impeccable reputation, charisma, and friendly attitude. That stupid fake attitude.

Jungkook felt like he was dozing off once again when he suddenly heard Jimin's loud and extremely concerned voice. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry for him. I-I tried to—"

"It's okay, Jimin."

The moment Jungkook heard this deep and calm voice, he immediately flew his eyes open. There could be no mistake about its owner. JK looked up to see Taehyung standing right above him while casually talking to affected Jimin. Jungkook once again felt as if he saw a ghost but this time it was the most satisfying paranormal meeting in his life.

The boy showed up. Taehyung showed up. He was here, at school on Monday morning. And just as he promised he wore a blue shirt.

But it wasn't just the blue shirt. It was one of the finest shirts Jungkook has ever seen. The color was lively, somewhere between the clear blue sky mixed with a perfectly calm sea. It was so hopeful and so refreshing to look at. Jungkook almost immediately thought of a single boat floating on the azure waters. The silky-like material reflected morning sunlight and was almost blinding to anybody standing close to him. As if it shone with its own light.

Similar to the boy's honey-like skin and those few pieces of gold jewelry on his neck and wrists. All of them seemed to have their own charm and radiate immense beauty. Taehyung's cheeks were a little bit poutier than usual but at least they had some pink-ish reflexes, so different from the pale tone from last Friday. His eyes were still dark but they did not reflect any of the dark thoughts hidden somewhere inside his head. They were surprisingly calm.

His actions and gestures were slow and dignified. The way he gently ran his hand through his hair just to make sure one of his black strands stays behind his ear. The way he casually held his brown bag hanging loose on his shoulder made the collar of his shirt slightly shift to the left exposing a little more of his collarbone. The way he adjusted the belt of his white cotton pants with his long index finger. Every gesture he made looked as if God was doing it himself. As if Taehyung was indeed a walking perfection.

And maybe that is why Jungkook got the feeling it was the fakest version of Taehyung he has ever seen. The boy kept his promise; he came back to his alive but pretty much fake self.

Jungkook felt some of the weight fall off his shoulders and that creepy hold on his heart and chest slightly loosened. He was able to finally take a deep breath and suddenly the tiredness of the whole weekend struck him. All his limbs became heavy, his eyes wanted to close immediately demanding some sleep, stomach growled wanting to be fed for the first time in two days. Just as if his body regained all his natural functions; as if it was holding on to the safe mode till this moment, as if seeing Taehyung switch it back to normal.

"Oh god, it's so embarrassing," Jimin tried to apologize once more. "We better be going then."

The blond grabbed Jungkook's wrist once again pulling him harder but he sat still, trying to catch Taehyung's gaze. All he needed at this moment was one look. A quick glance, a second in which their eyes meet. It would be enough for JK to get answers to some of his questions, to know what was happening with Taehyung the last two days and how he felt now. Was he still angry with him? Did he think of any other solution to his problem? Did he want to change?

Eyes were the only way in which Jungkook could see into the boy's soul; the only thing in his image which wasn't fake. And maybe that is why Taehyung effectively avoided his gaze.

He lowered his head and simply sat down on the other side of the bench next to Jungkook. He continued with his things as if the boys were never around him; as if Jungkook didn't stare at him intensively. Did it mean he went on hating him just as he said the moment he was leaving his apartment? Was it his way of informing Jungkook that he didn't care anymore; that they should carry on as if nothing had happened between them? That Jungkook could live on knowing he was alive?

JK couldn't leave it like this.

"You know there are plenty of other benches around, right?" he said directly to the boy, trying to catch his attention. "You don't have to sit at the same one all the time."

Maybe it was cheap of him to use such a metaphor but the point was to make Taehyung think about his life once again. If sitting on the same bench all the time was a part or a symbol of his fake persona, maybe it was high time to change his habits. Not only these most trivial ones but overall. Maybe it was the moment in which the boy should change something about his life as well.

"Stop it Gukkie. Let's just go and—"

Jimin tried to intervene but Jungkook didn't even turn to his side. He was still looking at Taehyung who tried really hard not to show any affection and stay composed. He indifferently ran his fingers through books in his bag looking for a particular one, ignoring JK's presence.

"Have you ever thought of sitting somewhere else?"

Only those words made Taehyung stop suddenly as if their meaning finally struck him. And the moment Jungkook thought that the boy will look up at him, he felt a stronger grip on his wrist and a second later Jimin just forcefully pulled him from the bench. JK almost lost his balance but the blond held him by the shoulder and helped to keep the right posture. Before Jungkook could turn around to face Taehyung once again and finish their one-sided conversation, Jimin pushed him in the other direction, making it impossible for them to interact.

"Just do your things," Jimin said hurryingly. "We won't disturb you any further, right?"

The last words were said directly toward Jungkook, who tried to say something but was quickly shut down by Jimin. The blond pushed JK harder toward the patio entrance, far away from the infamous bench. Jungkook tried to fight back but Jimin's grip was surprisingly strong. Only when he gathered all the strength left in his body (which wasn't much) and stood still in one place, Jimin stopped as well.

However, it didn't mean the fight was over.

"What was that?" Jimin demanded an explanation while waving his hands quite aggressively.

"I can ask you the same question," JK spat back. "Why did you pull me away?"

"Because you were embarrassing me and yourself in front of Taehyung—"

"How was it embarrassing?"

"—and the whole patio and you just can't do this at this school. I told you many times how the rules are—"

"Ugh. It's not about the rules. You don't understand..."

"No. You don't understand. And when you're new you have to adapt to the rules so please—"

"Oh for fucks sake, it wasn't about this damn bench! It was about—" Jungkook bit his tongue before he could say a few words too many. "It was about... something else."

Jimin had no idea about what was happening between him and Taehyung, so he couldn't blame him for thinking in his usual popularity-centered way. But leaving this situation with Taehyung hanging like that was so frustrating. Especially when Jungkook knew how the smallest things could affect the boy.

"Something else?" Jimin asked, curious as to why Jungkook didn't tell him the reason directly.

JK knew how suspicious it might have looked and sounded but he couldn't tell Jimin the true motives behind his behavior. He took a deep breath and run his hand through his hair as if it could somehow calm him down. Of course, it didn't and it only showed Jimin how bad he felt at this moment.

And Jimin being Jimin noticed it immediately. Something weird was happening to his friend and he couldn't leave like that. Even if he didn't get the answers he wanted, it wasn't the time to be nosy. That is why he asked once again, this time way calmer.

"What is happening to you, Gukkie? You were supposed to rest and get some sleep this weekend but all I see in front of me is a huge sleepless mess. Are you alright?"

Jungkook was anything but alright and people had to be blind not to see something was off in his behavior and appearance. There was no point in hiding it. However, Jungkook hoped it was the beginning of his healing process. He saw Taehyung at school, alive, so he could stop worrying, right? It should be the moment in which he goes back to normal functioning. With proper treatment, the usual Jungkook should be back in no time.

"Do you have something to eat?" JK asked as he felt extremely hungry. He hasn't eaten anything since Friday evening and a few banana milk bottles weren't enough to keep him properly fed.

Jimin was taken by surprise by that question so it took him a moment to analyze JK's request.

"I-I... I have a sandwich if you want," he offered and when Jungkook nodded, the blond opened his backpack to search for his lunchbox.

Jimin quickly found the yellow box and without any hesitation gave it to JK. There was more food inside than just a sandwich but he didn't mind sharing all of it if it was what Jungkook needed. He could go one day without cherry tomatoes and a few sweets. He also wanted to give him his orange juice but JK quickly snatched the lunchbox and looked like he was ready to go.

"Can you also cover for me in the first period?" Jungkook asked, knowing they both should go to history class in a few minutes. "Just tell the teacher I wasn't feeling good or something."

"W-why?"

"I'll take a nap in the locker rooms."

He wasn't joking. He needed some sleep immediately or else he would most definitely faint. He had to take care of his body if he wanted to survive this day, and he couldn't care less about all the school stuff. Jungkook wanted to regain some energy before the afternoon's training. That was the only thing he cared about today. He needed to play some basketball to distress.

"Gukkie, you're scaring me."

"Please do not worry, Jimin-ssi," JK forced a smile. "I'll be back for the math classes, looking like a newborn."

He knew how far-fetched was this statement, taking under consideration how badly he didn't want to go to math class (at any given point in his life really). Also regaining all his strength on such short notice wasn't possible but it was the least he could do to feel better right now and not to worry Jimin so much.

The blond once again scanned him with his piercing gaze. It was obvious he didn't trust him on that matter but decided to finally let it go.

"Have it your way but I'm visiting you in the evening to check up on you. And you can't say no." He dug his finger into Jungkook's arm, which meant he would keep his promise and visit him later that day. "I'll bring you some chicken soup and won't go home until you eat the very last drop. Are we clear?"

"Thank you. You're the best."

"And don't you dare forget about it," Jimin added. "Now go and have sweet dreams."

Jungkook rolled his eyes and rushed toward the sports hall before too many students could see him on the patio and potentially snitch to the teachers.

He knew Jimin's visit would be slightly inconvenient at this point in his life but maybe that's what he needed right now: to be taken care of. Since recently he was the one taking care of others, or rather of that one person, it would be refreshing to switch sides for a while. Maybe Jimin was able to lift his spirits and help his body recover, but Jungkook knew he will not be able to heal his heart which was still pretty much beating unevenly.

And it probably won't stop being like that anytime soon. Unless Taehyung decides to finally let go of his favorite bench and sits with him on the grass for a little while. 

Chapter Text

"So this is how you attend math classes?"

Jungkook heard a low voice somewhere above him and momentarily turned to the side only to fall from the bench on the cold floor of the locker room. That was one of the worst wake-ups in his life and I took him a moment to understand what had happened. He hissed from pain after touching his elbow which unpleasantly hit the floor just a second ago. But it wasn't only his arm that ached. He could feel the nasty bruise forming on his hip and his neck was more than sore— probably from the sleeping position, not the fall.

JK ran his hand through his hair and tried to stretch his neck a little to make the pain go away but to no avail. How long was he asleep? He was supposed to take a nap so why did he feel like he slept through the whole week? Somehow he was well-rested but tired at the same time. It was a weird feeling, yet it was still better than that weird sleepless zombie-like state he was in before.

He shook his head and finally looked up at the boy responsible for waking him up so harshly. Yoongi stood at the entrance, leaning comfortably against the doorframe, and watched him with a mixed expression; something between pity and disgust. He folded his arms against his chest and with a triumph smirk on his lips, switched the light on. The sudden light change made Jungkook squint his eyes which were not used to such brightness.

"Ah, turn it off! I'm awake now."

JK waved his hand as if it could make Yoongi change his mind. Of course, it didn't, so what was left for Jungkook to do was to slowly adjust to the bright light. He knew Yoongi was petty, but he didn't know he could be so cruel as well.

"What... what are you even doing here?" Jungkook asked. "I told Jimin I'd be back for math."

Yoongi snorted. "Yeah, and then you weren't."

That remark made Jungkook doubt. He looked uncertainly at unamused Yoongi and only after that he reached into his backpack and took out his phone. One look at the screen was enough to tell it was way past the time he should wake up for math classes. What is more, in half an hour he should be starting his basketball training. He slept through the whole day.

"You left me alone with this dickhead and I have no one to talk to," Yoongi said accusingly. "Because of that, there was no one there to stop me from talking back to him and I got the detention. I came here to tell you it is all your fault."

Jungkook took a moment to put the story together and understand how was it his fault. Clearly, if he had been in math class, Yoongi would have told him all the nasty things quietly, as they loved to joke about their favorite teacher. But because he was asleep here, Yoongi said it all at loud and earned pretty much-deserved detention. It was yet again just an unfortunate chain of events that had started way before this math class.

"I'm sorry?" Jungkook shrugged and apologized. It was better to say it, just in case Yoongi was still salty about this misunderstanding.

"I bet you are, you bastard," Yoongi growled and took a few steps inside the locker room.

Jungkook was surprised by this gesture, because surely Yoongi didn't come here to beat him up, right? Though his stance and attitude suggested otherwise. The white-haired boy looked as if he was ready to fight and leave out all the emotions and frustration on Jungkook. As if he was his personal training bag.

JK blinked a few times to get used to the light and tried to prepare himself for whatever was coming but his body was too heavy and too bruised to do so. It wasn't the best time for him to fight with Yoongi, though he used to be curious about a similar fight. Unfortunately today it looked like he would lose before they even start.

Yoongi stood above Jungkook and rapidly moved his hand forward. Jungkook flinched a little, bracing for an impact, which eventually never came. The boy simply extended his hand and only after a while JK understood what that gesture meant. He sighed and rolled his eyes. How could he be so stupid?

Jungkook smiled apologetically and grabbed Yoongi's hand, just so the boy could help him stand up. They exchanged one long and meaningful look after which Yoongi finally let go of JK's hand and put it deep inside his pocket.

"Jimin asked me to check up on you, so here I am," he said trying to sound indifferent. "Don't you think I did it because I was worried or something."

"Oh, no. I wouldn't dare," Jungkook added quickly, seeing the boy's angry stare.

Even though Yoongi most likely did check on him because Jimin told him to do so, Jungkook could feel something sincere in the boy's behavior. Yoongi could claim he didn't care but deep inside he probably did, though he would never admit it. Maybe it was these speaking terms that made him eligible for the smallest piece of Yoongi's affection? That was truly fascinating for Jungkook but it wasn't the time to think about it now.

"Good." Yoongi nodded. "So now get yourself together before the rest of the team catches you taking a nap in their locker room."

The boy bumped his hand on Jungkook's arm suggesting he should do something about the state he was in. JK was still sore and he wanted to yawn so badly but he couldn't be like that no longer if he wanted to play some serious basketball. First of all, he had to wash his face with cold water, change into his jersey and finally eat something. He had fallen asleep before he even opened Jimin's lunchbox. And his tasty sandwich was what he needed the most at this moment.

Yoongi took a step back and took a good look around the locker room. For a split second, Jungkook was under the impression the boy looked at the lockers with a weirdly fond expression; as if he was missing something. But the moment passed before it could last and what was left on Yoongi's face was only a fair amount of disgust. He instantly slapped one of the lockers quite hard, making a lot of noise, and stormed off the room just a second later.

Jungkook was left alone yet again but this time he was pretty much awake. Yoongi's behavior only ensured him the boy had a deep connection with the team and basketball overall, though now it wasn't as close as it used to be. JK didn't know what exactly happened but it couldn't have been an easy break-up for Yoongi. Jungkook knew how painful it was to be deprived of his favorite hobby. He didn't want to lose it ever again.

That's why he cheered himself up and started preparing for the upcoming training.

⊷⊶

The training sucked.

Or rather it was Jungkook who sucked.

He thought he recovered enough to be able to play at least decently. Oh, but he was so wrong. Physically he was rather okay; he managed to run and even score some points. The problem was something completely different. Something that paralyzed him no matter how well-prepared his body was.

The moment he saw his teammates dressed in blue jerseys he couldn't stop thinking about that damn blue satin shirt on Taehyung he saw in the morning.

How did he spend the rest of the day? What was he thinking? Will he keep the promise? Was he already at home? Was he still faking it there? Will he be sitting at that damn bench again tomorrow? Doesn't he need some help? Should Jungkook go and talk to his brother? Or maybe he should go straight to the principal? Or maybe he should just leave it as it was? Too many thoughts and none of them were connected to basketball.

What was it even? Shouldn't he stop worrying the moment he saw the boy in this blue shirt? That was a plan all along. So why did he feel more worried than before? He didn't sign up for such feelings. It was unfair. It only made him angry at Taehyung even more. The boy was messing with him in all ways possible and he desperately needed to regain control over his life. This masquerade had to end.

And that made Jungkook stand in front of the school's counselor's door again. He put his hands on his hips and stared at the sign on the door for a long time, wondering if he should go inside. Now that he knew that the bridge incident wasn't just a moment of weakness but something carefully planned by Taehyung himself, he decided that he must finally report it somewhere. Even if the boy said he would never try again, he couldn't trust him. He had no reason to do so.

Telling the story to Seokjin was quite a drastic move. It was risky and probably painful for both of the brothers, especially now that Jungkook learned a few more heart-breaking details and the whole plan Taehyung came up with. That's why he waited so long. He felt so bad doing that, even worse than the first time he was here. Like a traitor. But this time it was also his health he was fighting for. That is why he finally grabbed the handle.

He pushed forward but the doors were closed.

"Lucky bastard," Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. The number of times Taehyung escaped being exposed was truly fascinating.

Although Jungkook was angry the boy managed to escape once more, part of him was weirdly satisfied; it meant one less uncomfortable conversation for him. He wasn't well prepared for it either. A session with Seokjin would probably end up with him saying chaotic stories, similar to what had happened last time. Maybe it was better to think it through and come back with collected thoughts? Maybe he would manage to talk to Taehyung until then?

JK sighed. At least he tried to help, right?

He wanted to go straight to the bus stop but couldn't resist the urge to play some more basketball. It was the only way he could stop thinking for a second and calm down before what was about to come next. And it could be absolutely everything.

Jungkook tossed his bag underneath the basket at the outside court and took out his ball—he always had one in his bag, just in case an opportune moment for basketball occurs. Just like now. He quickly took off this damn long-sleeve shirt, put on his jersey, and prayed that the obnoxious math teacher wouldn't pass anywhere nearby this place. The man would probably turn into a raging demon seeing him with exposed tattoos a few hours after he skipped math classes. Unfortunately, there was quite a high chance of it happening since the road next to the court led straight to the parking lot. But Jungkook couldn't have cared less.

He practiced some shots, trying to redeem himself for the crap he played during the training, but he sucked even more than before. He was frustrated, tired, and more and more furious with each missed shot. That couldn't be happening. He couldn't be so bad. If he keeps playing like that, Namjoon will surely bench him for the first match. And he couldn't allow that. He wanted to play for the team so badly.

That's why he kept practicing. That was the only way. But how was he supposed to play when he was extremely stressed and sleep deprived? That was too challenging. Even for him.

Jungkook grunted when he once again missed the shot and did a light sprint toward the ball which rolled through the court and down to the pavement. It stopped at the feet of one of the students who was just passing by. How convenient, he thought.

"I'm sorry, can you pass me—" Jungkook wanted to ask but stopped the moment he realized the passerby was no one other than Taehyung.

The boy slowly bent down and picked up the ball, then without a word went toward the court. He left his bag on the bench and walked closer to Jungkook but didn't look away from the ball he was studying carefully. Jungkook watched the whole scene with curiosity and grabbed his hips when he got bored of waiting for the boy to give the ball back.

"Just pass it," JK said firmly, maybe too firmly for his liking.

But he couldn't help it. He was in no mood for talking with the boy right now. He spent the whole long ass day thinking about him and this strange situation—he needed a break. And that's exactly what basketball was supposed to be for him. His escape, his moment of solitude. Not another place for a serious conversation that will inevitably lead to the same conclusion as every previous one did.

Taehyung hesitated for a moment but finally looked up from the ball. "Can I play with you?"

Jungkook was surprised by the question, so much so that for a moment he didn't know what to say. That was the last thing he thought the boy would ask him about. And though he wouldn't mind having a companion to play, he would rather go with someone who actually knows how to play. Passing balls with a child wasn't on his to-do list for today.

Besides, wasn't Taehyung angry at him? What about all the hating and blaming him for all his failures, including the most important one on the bridge? Wasn't the boy ignoring him in the morning? As if they didn't know each other? So what? Are they okay now? Will they play a friendly basketball match from now and then? It didn't make sense for the boy to talk to him right now.

But since everything that Taehyung did till now was somehow planned or at least thought through, there also should be a reason for him to come to Jungkook right now. That is why JK decided to put his pride and anger away and play along.

"Can you even play basketball?" he asked but couldn't help using a sarcastic tone to do so.

Taehyung never struck him as a sports guy. He didn't have a sporty build, he was a kind of fragile, modelish, and doll-like boy. JK couldn't imagine him confronting other players, making his way through the court, fighting for positions. Maybe with some intensive training, he would be able to look like a decent player. Still, rather look than actually be a decent player.

Besides, his outfit was far from the ideal one for sports. If he decided to play now, he would have to do it in this magnificent blue shirt, formal pants, and shoes not designed for running of any kind; not even for a morning run to catch a bus. How uncomfortable it must be to play in them? Jungkook was sure they would leave some nasty marks on the boy's ankles.

However, much to JK's surprise, Taehyung simply tossed the ball back at him. The throw was precise and strong enough to suggest he was serious about the play. Similar to how a second later Taehyung rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and stood between Jungkook and the basket.

JK was slightly surprised by such an attitude, but he was even more interested in the relatively good position and basketball posture of the boy. He looked like he actually knew something about playing basketball. And that intrigued JK. Although he wanted basketball to be the one thing that would allow him to get away from the boy for a moment, curiosity took over. He started to dribble and a moment later they began to play.

Jungkook expected that with his experience and many years of training, he would easily win with Taehyung. That it will be a rather one-sided extremely boring duel, a job easier than taking the candy from a little kid. And yet, the boy put up quite a lot of resistance, and although it was nothing outstanding, Jungkook had to make some effort.

Taehyung was defenseless in head-to-head play and jostling under the basket. Fighting for positions and quick actions were very much Jungkook's style. He liked it and was extremely good at this field. That's why it was his role in the team.

The problems for Jungkook started when he had to take the ball from the boy. Taehyung didn't force himself forward. He knew he wouldn't be able to get past Jungkook, and even if he managed to do it, it would be once in a hundred tries. So whenever JK took a step forward to snatch the ball, Taehyung quickly jumped back and shot from a distance. And for a few quite distant attempts, he didn't miss even once.

Therefore, when Jungkook once again watched the ball flying flawlessly to the basket from a distance way longer than the three-point line, he decided he finally had to speak up.

He looked suspiciously at the slightly out-of-breath Taehyung who was whipping out small droplets of sweat from his forehead. How was this possible? Never in his life would JK have said the boy was so good at basketball.

"You're really... you're really good," Jungkook admitted, still catching a breath; he got tired while playing with the boy. "Where did you learn that?"

Jungkook wanted to know something more about this undercover talent of his but Taehyung didn't respond or comment on any of his remarks; neither vocally nor subconsciously with some small gestures or his body language. He kept striking his hair which began to fall on his forehead. The previously carefully done hairdo was slowly giving up and if they were to continue playing, his strands would surely come back to those gorgeous curls of his.

Taehyung seemed unbothered. As if being a decent basketball player was one of the standard features of being a walking perfection.

"You've never gone for the tryouts? You would make a good shooting guard, you know?"

Jungkook was surprised the boy has never played professionally or for the school team. With such skills and some proper training, he would definitely be at the level of some players from their team; and not just those usually sitting on the bench. Considering he was doing so well in an outfit totally unsuited for playing, how good would he be if he only got the right shoes?

That made Jungkook briefly imagine the boy in the team uniform. Sleeveless team uniform. With his hair slightly too long to play without tying it or using a bandana to hold them back. And his golden necklace again dangling back and forth whenever he jumps and runs. Gosh. That would be a look no one could ever forget. No one would be able to focus on basketball. Taehyung could have been their secret weapon to distract their opponents; both with amazing looks and skills.

However, Taehyung had quite a different opinion on this matter. He hesitantly moved the ball from hand to hand, and finally carelessly threw it toward Jungkook.

"I don't have time for that," he said with a little disgust in his voice.

"Too busy being a walking perfection?"

Jungkook couldn't stop himself from saying it. He bit his tongue but it was already too late. The damage was done. Knowing (or rather not knowing) what was happening with the boy, it wasn't the most pleasing thing to say. The walking perfection was indeed the fake persona Taehyung chose to be at school and basically everywhere but Jungkook still didn't know why the boy committed to it so much. Why did he want to be that imaginary man so badly? Or maybe why he didn't want to be him any day longer, hence the incident.

JK's remark set the passive-aggressive vibe of their conversation and he didn't want it to be like that. He was still mad and worried about the boy but there was no point in fighting him right now. This time the boy didn't seem aggressive; he was quieter, maybe a little calmer. So Jungkook decided to act similarly.

He smiled apologetically but Taehyung didn't seem to be bothered with his previous comment. He took it with a stoic posture, his face almost emotionless; so different from the emotional rollercoaster he experienced on Friday.

"You're right, I am busy," he sighed, taking Jungkook off guard. "I have additional classes, music school, and history of art finals I have to study for. Also, my excellent grades won't get like that themselves. There are a lot of other things as well. No time to think about basketball or anything else, to be honest."

That was indeed a lot. But Jungkook already knew about his packed schedule—Jimin told him about every possible activity Taehyung was involved in the very first time they spoke about him. Besides, he didn't need Jimin to assume someone like Taehyung carried a lot of things on his shoulders. It was always like this with the most talented and hardworking kids. They were never only good at school stuff. They were good at everything.

And at one point it was always a question: was it them who wanted to be the best students or were their parents the ones who wanted to have the perfect kids?. Setting some unrealistic expectations, adding new activities, and deciding on hobbies, friends, or even free time. Making a kid everything they once wanted to achieve but never did. Showing people around how successful their child; better than the children of their friends, enemies, or even distant family. Like a child contest.

Unfortunately most of the time it was a rather hard experience for the youngsters. Living in constant stress, being exhausted from the excess of duties and classes; trying to live up to inhuman expectations just not to let down their closest ones. It was such a tiring life and Jungkook wondered if it was a similar case with Taehyung.

Since the boy wanted to maintain his status of walking perfection all the time, he had to have a lot of responsibilities. Judging by what's been going on with him lately and how much he's insisted that his life is empty and meaningless, Jungkook doubted that the boy wanted to do any of the things someone put into his schedule.

Maybe that is why he wanted to stop this masquerade? Maybe he was too tired to continue with a life someone else scripted for him? There were many young victims of such an expectations philosophy and Jungkook wanted to stop it before Taehyung would become the next one.

"So tell me, how many of these things do you really want to do?"

This question clearly surprised the boy, who froze for a moment. This only confirmed Jungkook might have been right. Maybe even hit the bullseye.

"You should start doing things that make you happy. Not others, you."

JK had to say it because nothing annoyed him more than doing things against his will. Of course, he had some duties (like school) but apart from them, he tried to do only those things he really wanted to do. To make himself happy, to be at peace with himself and no one else. To find something enjoyable, even if life itself sucked. Jungkook wasn't overly happy with his life but he was learning how to cherish each of the moments. Sometimes even the smallest things were enough.

And it was scary to think Taehyung didn't even have these smallest moments of happiness. What if he became a prisoner of a persona he once created and could no longer find anything that gave him a little joy? A little stupid thing that could make him smile for a second. That was so sad. Jungkook couldn't let him sink further into that miserable fake persona.

"Screw the image, screw public opinion, screw this whole walking perfection myth if it doesn't make you happy. You already told me it's all fake so why bother any longer? Why can't you just be yourself? Why are you like that?"

Jungkook wanted to understand it so badly but he had a feeling that Taehyung himself didn't understand what was happening to him. His tightly pressed lips and again emotionless stare only gave up the answer. He looked so lost, as a child deciding if he should follow his mum or dad in a shopping center. Torn between two paths without knowing which should he choose or what's waiting in the end.

Jungkook's question seemed to be more serious than he previously assumed and he knew he won't get the answer. At least, not here and now. Such a complex matter couldn't be resolved on the basketball court in front of the school. It needed a completely different atmosphere; preferably including a hot tea served in his kitchen. However, knowing how all the previous conversations in that place had ended maybe it was better to change the setting.

JK sighed. There was no point asking questions now. He had to try something else. He put one hand on his hip and rested the ball on the other, looking a little less tense.

"I see you're wearing a blue shirt," he stated calmly. "It suits you."

Aside from the definitely eye-pleasing image of a boy in that god-tailored shirt, this was JK's way of emphasizing that Taehyung kept a certain promise he made on Friday. He wore the exact shirt color Jungkook chose for him—blue. A color that was supposed to be a symbol that the boy was back to being a fake but alive self. It still didn't sound good but at least it was a little bit more hopeful image.

Taehyung subconsciously looked at his shirt and lowered his head, slightly flustered. He examined the satin shirt which shily reflected sunlight, making the material brighter than it normally was. The boy slowly swallowed, gulped almost. He seemed to understand what Jungkook's remark meant.

"Um... yes." He nodded but his mind was somewhere else.

For a moment they stood like that, in complete silence, which begin to be a little uncomfortable with each passing second. Taehyung kept looking at his shirt while Jungkook still stared at the boy's eyes, trying to catch his gaze. Of course, he failed, so he decided to get his attention in some other way.

"Listen—"

"I just—"

They both started simultaneously, which surprised Jungkook a lot. He didn't expect Taehyung to say anything at all. And if the boy wanted to tell him something, his words seemed to be of greater importance. That's why JK smiled lightly from their unbelievably synchronized timing and nodded, gesturing to Taehyung to start first.

"I wanted to apologize for how I acted last time. I was a mess, I still am, and I... I'm sincerely sorry for how I treated you from the moment we met. For playing you, lying, calling you out, and blaming you for everything that happened. Even for ignoring you in the morning," he said honestly and looked up to see Jungkook's reaction.

But just a second later he lowered his gaze once again before continuing, "You... you did a lot of good things for my sake, but at this point in my life, I'm unable to see good in myself, yet in others."

And though Taehyung apologized to him for all the mistreatment he got, Jungkook focused more on the second part of his statement. He didn't care about all the past fights between them when the boy admitted to how miserable he has felt lately. It only meant that something really bad was going on in the boy's life. It's not that Jungkook didn't know it before, but hearing such a confession directly from Taehyung made his heart sink a little.

"It's okay, I don't mind," JK accepted the apologies as quickly as he could. He didn't want the boy to feel uneasy about it anymore. "I just wanted to help you. I still want to. You know about it."

"I do, it's just..." the boy clucked, unconvinced. He was looking for the best words to use but none of them seemed to reflect how he felt. "I'm really... confused."

And that word described him perfectly. Taehyung looked confused, acted confused, and most certainly also felt confused. Confused with his life, his past, present, and probably now also with his future. He didn't know what to do; didn't have any plans for the next weeks, months, or years. Why would he have, if by now he shouldn't be even there?

Maybe that was the most confusing aspect: how to continue with his life? The boy mentioned on Friday how his life was meaningless and pathetic; without any purpose, motivation, no goals, or achievements to obtain. Something like a blank page, but a horribly crumpled one, and Taehyung just didn't know what to put there. Should he write with a pen or pencil? Blue or black ink? Small or big letters? Maybe italics? Nothing seemed to fit. He had no idea how to start writing. As if nobody taught him how to do it.

And even if Taehyung claimed he couldn't see any good thing in his life, Jungkook knew there must be one, even the smallest, most trivial thing the boy really wanted to do, to fight for, to live for. Everybody had something like that. All Taehyung had to do was to find it. And Jungkook was there to help him do it.

"It's okay to be confused," Jungkook comforted him. "But isn't there one thing you'd really like to do? Something you want right now?"

They could start with the simple thing. It might be a momentary need, like a can of a favorite soda, a new fancy shirt, a good nap, or a day of complete silence and rest. Just something Taehyung himself and no one else desired to do. Jungkook wanted to give the boy that moment of joy. The one boy might have been missing.

Taehyung looked up, trying to understand the question. Just as if nobody had asked him about his true desires in a long time. As if he was surprised that he suddenly could decide about his own life. He bit his lip uncertainly and nervously played with the rolled-up sleeves of his shirt. Finally, he shrugged as if the answer was obvious but his slightly shaky and sad voice indicated it really wasn't that simple.

"I don't know... I-I just... I just wanna be happier."

It was such a general statement. Jungkook expected to hear something more detailed, simply because he didn't know the recipe for happiness. If he did, he most certainly would use it himself a long time ago. But with Taehyung it was even more complicated. He didn't know what could make the boy happy. He had absolutely no clue, any guess was a hit-and-miss case, though most likely a miss.

So he started by asking the same question to himself. What made him feel a little bit happier? There was only one answer he could immediately think of. JK looked down at the ball he was still holding in his hands. It was worth a try.

"Does basketball make you happier?"

Taehyung tilted his head and looked at Jungkook uncertainly as if the question had a hidden catch. But it really didn't. It was a rather simple one to answer. Jungkook saw how much fun the boy had playing basketball for a while. Maybe even for those few minutes, he forgot about some of his problems just to focus solely on basketball. The same way Jungkook always did when he had some hard times. Just as he did it before Taehyung showed up on the court.

If basketball was Jungkook's remedy maybe it could be Taehyung's as well?

The boy seemed unconvinced at first but he timidly nodded his head a moment later. That was enough for Jungkook. He energetically threw the ball toward him and positioned himself between Taehyung and the basket. He didn't have to wait long for the boy to start dribbling and committing to the basketball challenge of defeating JK in his favorite game.

Jungkook didn't even know how long they played or how many people saw it. All he knew was that he could play like this forever if it meant Taehyung would be a little bit happier.

Chapter Text

Jungkook was lying on the freshly cut grass on the school’s patio, carelessly enjoying a much-needed moment of peace and silence. Sunlight pleasantly caressed his cheeks but it was the only good thing about it. From the early morning, it was excruciatingly hot and Jungkook was sure he’d suffocate in the long sleeve he had to wear. The air was stuffy which made it hard to breathe and JK could feel the droplets of sticky sweat forming all around his body.

And with the sun being at its peak, there was no shadow to hide. The only way to survive was to get used to the bright sunlight, which he eventually did. Somehow he even liked it.

Besides, today his body was strong enough to face such unpleasantries all because of the last night—the one he waited for so long. When he returned to his apartment, he fell asleep immediately and only woke up today’s morning with the poutiest face he had ever had. When he checked himself in the mirror, he looked just like a chubby child woken up from a day-long sleep after eating the most delicious dinner ever. He looked good. He felt good. He felt healthier. Well, at least compared to yesterday.

He was in a relatively good mood as well but he knew it could change at any given moment. Playing basketball with Taehyung somehow calmed him down but it didn’t mean it solved all the boy’s problems. On the contrary. It was just the beginning of dealing with what was really tormenting the boy and eventually finding something that would make him a little bit happier. Though Jungkook hasn’t come up with the answer yet. He had no clue where to start.

It would be easier to gather his thoughts if it wasn’t for Jimin who was sitting right next to him on the grass. Ever since he came here carrying two cups of fresh iced lemonade from the cafeteria (a gift Jungkook was very much glad for in such weather conditions), his mouth did not shut even for a second. The blonde kept updating him on school life and all the gossip he heard lately and at one point Jungkook just spaced off. He really didn’t care about it at all.  

“I've been silent for quite a long now, hoping you will start this topic, but you haven't.”

Only this statement from Jimin made Jungkook listen carefully. It was different from all the babbling he had been hearing for fifteen minutes of the lunch break. These words were said directly to him, which is why JK finally opened his eyes and cast Jimin a curious glance. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you lately. We both know it’s not normal and… I have a strange feeling it is connected with… with… you know.”

Jimin trailed off as if he wasn’t sure if he should continue or not. Or as if he wanted Jungkook to take over and finish the thought himself. But JK didn’t really know what was on Jimin’s mind, so he simply furrowed his brows unsure of his friend’s intentions. The blond hesitated for a moment but finally sighed before explaining.

“You disappeared for three years, three long years. You left me, your best friend, here and didn't bother to contact me even once. Once for God’s sake! What made you forget about me? What happened?”

Jungkook knew that sooner or later Jimin would ask about it and taking under consideration his suspicious behavior these past few days it was rather inevitable.

But when Jimin finally asked the long-awaited question, JK suddenly felt a huge guilt squeezing his stomach tightly. When he was leaving for Atlanta, he promised Jimin they would still be friends; even if it would be a long-distance relationship they had to keep it alive, just as best friends should. Yet the moment he stepped into his new school, his life changed drastically. So much so that he didn’t have time for his former best friend.

“I'd never forgotten about you. It's really hard to do so, trust me.” Jungkook admitted and smiled brightly at his best friend. Indeed, it was hard to forget such a persona like him. “One day I'll tell you, I promise. But not… not now, okay?”

He didn’t want to disappoint Jimin—he deserved to know the truth. However, the story was too complicated for casual small talk on the school patio. Jungkook would never admit it, but he was mortally afraid of this conversation. Afraid of reliving the story and going through memories he would rather leave alone buried somewhere deep inside his brain. Confessing to Jimin meant he also had to prepare for it mentally. And his mental health wasn’t in good condition lately.

“Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry with you.” Jimin looked at him compassionately, as if he wanted to reassure him somehow. “I mean, I used to be quite angry when you left me like that, but now you're back and I totally forgot about this whole absence of yours. It is as if you had never left.”

Those were kind words from Jimin but JK knew he was quite far from the truth. A lot has changed and his life would have looked completely different if he hadn't left for Atlanta for three years. His last days as a carefree teenager would be different: he would have experienced everything with his closest buddies, not the fake and random ones. He knew he would be a much different man than he was now. And there were days he damn well wished he could get to know that version of himself. Because he didn't really know yet if he liked the one he saw in the mirror every day.

But Jungkook wasn’t the only one affected. Back in elementary school, they planned everything together with Jimin: all the schools they wanted to attend, where to live in the future to still be in touch, and where to go for family holidays. And suddenly, one day Jimin was left alone. Just like that.

JK could only imagine how hard it was for him to rearrange his plans. How hard it was to find someone new to share all the stories, dreams, and history; to trust the way they trusted each other. Jimin has always been liked by many and he also liked others as a sociable king and attention queen, so Jungkook wasn’t as worried about him. He was sure Jimin would find someone new very quickly.

However, JK didn’t suspect, that out of so many normal people, Jimin could have befriended he decided on Hobi and Yoongi. A very peculiar pair indeed. Nevertheless, Jungkook was glad he found someone like this. If they made Jimin smile that was all JK cared for, since he couldn’t do it for so long in person or in any way really.

Jungkook wasn’t sure if he still knew how to make him smile.

“I’m sorry I—” Jungkook wanted to apologize when he felt his stomach hurting from overwhelming guilt, but Jimin quickly shushed him.

“Not now.”

That was unexpected. Jimin has never refused his apologies. It made Jungkook worried but before he could ask, the blond explained quickly.

“If it's going to last longer, it won't be the only thing you have to explain to me in detail.” 

“Huh?”

"He's coming here."

It only ensured Jungkook that Jimin had something different on his mind. Something not connected to his past in Atlanta or his apologies. JK turned his head more to the left to glance at Jimin, just to see the blond staring at something in front of him with panic in his eyes.

“Gukkie, he's coming here.” Jimin tapped him on the shoulder. “What do we do?”

“Who's coming?”

“Taehyung.”

Oh. That explained why Jimin started to panic so badly. The close presence of Mister Perfection was a huge event for blond, no wonder he behaved so weirdly. It was funny to watch his friend trying to keep his cool and show his best side to approaching Taehyung. Little did he know he was trying to impress someone who didn’t even exist.

“And?”

Jungkook shrugged and nonchalantly closed his eyes. He allowed himself a small smirk, knowing how badly Jimin wanted to act cool in front of approaching Taehyung. If he appreciated conversations with the boy so much, he could give him this one. JK had his fair share of conversations with Taehyung. Though Jungkook was sure he spoke with a completely different person than Jimin.

Nevertheless, he lay down comfortably on the grass, implying that he would not interfere. He knew Taehyung most probably decided to approach them to speak to him, not Jimin, so he could relax a minute longer before they came to the serious topics.

“You bastard,” Jimin whispered, nudging him again, and then added with a charming but slightly shaky voice, “Taehyung! H-hi!”

The black-haired boy stood over the two friends in such a way that even with his eyes closed, Jungkook had to wince. Taehyung completely blocked the sun, casting a shadow on his face. Gosh, how could he find any possible way to mess with my sanity, huh?

"Hello to you too, Jimin." Jungkook heard that low but somehow cheerful voice somewhere above him, and just from the sound of it, he knew the boy had a fake smile glued to his face.  “You bleached your hair again?”

“Is it noticeable?”

“It is. But it suits you.”

Jungkook was glad he had his eyes closed, at least he could roll them around without anyone noticing. The conversation was so cheesy but it only confirmed his belief that Taehyung really knew his way with words. If this was what his daily conversations with other students were like, JK was not surprised that even refusals sounded good. 

Too bad none of their conversations came close to this exchange of artificial pleasantries. But maybe for the better. He definitely preferred talking to Taehyung over Mister Perfection. Even if most of the time the boy was extremely hard to talk to.

“Thanks,” Jimin said in tiny, almost inaudible.

Jungkook couldn't see it but he was sure his friend started to play with one of his newly bleached strands. Just like a sweet kid fresh out of kindergarten. Or a deeply enamored girl. Yeah, probably more like an enamored girl.

“Hope we didn’t disturb your work yesterday?” Jimin asked apologetically, mentioning the argument over his favorite bench. “This guy right here is really stubborn and sometimes even I have a problem with—”

“Ah, no, I don’t mind,” Taehyung cut in but Jimin kept going on.

“But you really should! I told him so many times not to sit there and disturb you. I-I know the national finals for the history of arts are soon and you have to study hard and you need some calm space to do so and we did the opposite and—"

“Jimin,” the boy said firmly, yet his voice was still so smooth. “Stop it. It’s fine.”

When Jungkook heard that hellish word, he subconsciously opened his eyes. He quickly lifted his head, rested his weight on his elbows, and was ready to act if needed. He did it so suddenly that both guys looked at him immediately. It took him a second to adjust his sight to the bright light of the day, even if he was still sitting in the shadow.

Taehyung was indeed standing above two of them, clenching his brown bag in his left hand. This time he wore a silky shirt with a vibrant green and gold print which surely was one of the greatest contributions to his fancy shirt collection. It made him look so eternal, so royal. Green was definitely his color; Jungkook was sure he hadn’t seen a single person looking better in green. As if it was made exclusively for Taehyung.

And even if this beautiful, dark, and forest-ish shade of green was the liveliest color Taehyung had worn since that faithful day, it didn’t stop Jungkook from speaking up a moment later. Nothing triggered him as much as this damn word.

“Is it really fine?”

He could feel Jimin nudging him again but he didn’t care at all. All he wanted to see was Taehyung’s reaction. But the boy didn’t even bat an eye, didn’t flinch; not a single feature from a true Taehyung came to the surface. Aish, he was good.

Instead, he slightly raised his chin, exposing his sharp jawline. He seemed a little annoyed, just like the celebrity who has to sign a few autographs to many. He had that weird look of superiority and JK couldn’t really tell where it came from. Was it because he used the hellish word against him? They both knew what it truly meant for them. Whenever it was used the situation was usually quite far from being fine.

Finally, Taehyung gently bit his lips (a gesture which was oddly attractive though it shouldn’t be at this time), only to smile timidly in the end. 

“Well… Actually, I decided to follow your advice and… sit somewhere else.”

It took them a few seconds to understand what he really meant. Jungkook knew that confession had a deeper meaning: the one he suggested himself while they were sitting on the bench yesterday; an indirect way of asking for help; a will to change something in his life. Maybe it wasn’t the sole confession Jungkook wanted to hear from the boy but at least it was a great part of it. Nevertheless, it made JK full of hope, so much so that he didn’t know how to respond.

However, Jimin took Taehyung’s words quite literally. Well, there was no other way he could have understood them. That is why he moved quickly, making some space on the grass, just between him and JK.

“Oh, you want to sit with us? Ugh, oh, umm. Here, here… Have my jacket, so you won’t damage your clothes with grass stains. It will be a shame to ruin such an outfit. You must have paid a lot for this—"

“Ah, no need for that,” Taehyung once again had to stop Jimin but it was even harder than the last time. “I just came here to… talk.”

Only that made Jimin stop tossing around and look up at Taehyung as if he wanted to confirm his words.

“To talk?” Jimin seemed even more confused. “Umm, okay. What do you want to talk about then?”

And even if the blond asked politely waiting for Taehyung to choose the topic of their conversation, the answer never came. Taehyung fixed his deep gaze straight at Jungkook and seemed to be focused solely on the raven-haired boy.

Jimin sat just next to them yet he felt completely left out. He was already used to Taehyung ignoring him because that was what he always did after all the conversations: each of the small talk ended with the boy shutting everyone down and returning to his distant beautiful world. 

But now? Jimin had never seen the walking perfection staring at someone so intensely as he was now at Jungkook. And what was surprising, his best friend was doing the exact same thing.

Jimin looked between the two boys, but neither of them paid him any attention. They didn’t care that he was sitting next to them, nor that he was watching them, more curious than ever. It was as if he wasn't even there. He was under the impression that the boys flew away somewhere distant for a moment and completely forgot about what was happening around them. He didn't understand what they were trying to tell each other with that one look (which was way too long for Jimin’s liking) but he knew that whatever it was, it couldn't be meant for his ears. 

Something was going on and Jimin promised himself he would find what it exactly was. However, this wasn’t the time to play detectives.

“I'll check if Yoongi got another detention,” Jimin came up with an excuse just to leave the two of them alone. “I have a strange feeling he just got one.”

He waited for a comment but just as he thought, both of the boys completely ignored his words. There was no point in staying at the patio and disturbing their stare contest, so Jimin stood up quickly and took his bag with him. Then he hesitantly walked toward the lockers, slow enough to still keep track of what was going on with his best friend.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jungkook saw that they were left alone and he was glad that Jimin was smart enough to let go this time. He thought it would be way harder to get rid of him, but apparently, his friend could act decent at times. However, it didn’t mean the problem was solved. JK was more than sure, Jimin was still watching them closely from afar and the moment he left the patio, he would be attacked with a thousand unnecessary questions.  

And as much as he didn’t want to answer them, first of all, he had to deal with Taehyung and whatever topic he came here with.

Jungkook timidly nodded and pushed himself to the sitting position, resting his elbows on his knees. In this way, he wanted to show that he was ready to talk; all that was needed was for the boy to lead the way and JK would simply follow. 

However, quite the opposite happened. Taehyung threw his bag on the ground and before Jungkook could react, the boy sat next to him and then fell on his back to lay comfortably on the grass. He put his hands under his head and closed his eyes. Taehyung did exactly what Jungkook had been doing since the beginning of the lunch break. And even if JK was quite surprised by such behavior, it truly was a good position to rest for a while. 

Jungkook didn't want to admit it, but maybe that was when he understood why the others liked to admire the boy sitting on the bench so much. Even earlier, when he sat on it himself, he noticed the unique beauty emanating from the boy. It was hard to believe that a real hurricane was raging under what seemed to be the calmest and most relaxed expression Jungkook had ever seen.

"You know," Taehyung muttered. “Sitting in the sun only made me realize how much I hate it.”

That was rather unexpected, knowing how much time the boy spent in the sun. Besides, the sunlight seemed to be his greatest companion, always dancing on his cheeks mixed with his perfect honey-like skin. It was as if they were destined for each other; the perfect pair, inseparable since birth. How come Taehyung claimed that he hated it?

“I'm rather fond of the rain.”

If the sun confession was surprising, then the rain one was even more strange to hear. It didn’t add up at all, taking into consideration what was happening with the boy the last time it rained.

“I only have bad memories of rain,” Jungkook responded coldly. “I'm surprised you don't.”

Jungkook was sure that now, whenever it would rain, he would still see that horrible view of the boy haunting him in his house. The view he wanted to forget so badly but no matter how badly he tried, he simply couldn’t. And if it was that bad for him, then how was it possible that Taehyung was still so fond of the rain? So fond of the memories associated with the rain? It didn’t add up at all.

He looked over the shoulder to see the boy’s reaction, hoping he would read something from his face, but it wasn’t possible. Not only because Taehyung was an excellent liar but also because he put his hand over his face, covering his eyes with his forearm. 

If they hadn't been at school, Jungkook would have thought he was trying to hide or hold back the tears. However, the boy surely would never show such weakness in public, let alone at school, so this option was out of place. Maybe it was a way to cover himself from the sun he admitted to hating so much? Or hide from sudden memories that struck him after JK mentioned the rain? It was hard to tell.

Jungkook got confused by a similar behavior so he simply stared at the boy, or more precisely at the golden bracelet on the boy's wrist. It shimmered, perfectly reflecting the rays of the midday sun. At this point, JK was sure this beautiful piece of jewelry was the only thing that enjoyed being exposed to the sun so much.  

Finally, Taehyung sighed heavily and raised his hand to cover the sun, enough for him to look freely at the sky without being blinded by the sunlight.

“It will rain today,” he said confidently, however, Jungkook had a different take on that.

“It's a clear sky.”

“Yeah. But it will rain.”

JK winced at the boy's statement. He didn't know where to put it. After all, absolutely nothing indicated that it might rain heavily today. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, and the sun was shining brighter than ever. He didn't check the weather forecast today but in such conditions, one really didn't have to.

Apart from the premise, he was also surprised by the topic of the conversation. After everything that happened, he assumed Taehyung would want to talk about something more personal than the weather forecast and possible rain. There were far more important topics they should discuss.

“What now? Did you come to talk about the weather? I think we're definitely past small talk like that, huh?”

After their deep conversations about life and death, a simple chit-chat about rain seemed to be so irrelevant. Maybe that is why Jungkook allowed himself to talk so freely. He missed casual talks where not every word had a double meaning or could decide on someone’s existence. Maybe he needed a weather talk after all.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the time for one.

Taehyung scoffed but quickly smiled under his breath—he knew Jungkook wouldn’t buy it and immediately asked for the hidden catch. So he got up and propped himself up on his elbows. He shook his head slightly to get rid of a few strands falling on his forehead. However, he quickly regretted that decision. He had to squint to even catch a glimpse of Jungkook. The sun was shining so brightly.

“You're right. We're way past the weather talk," he admitted. “That is why I wanted to ask you if I can stay at your place tonight.”

Jungkook immediately turned to him—faster than he's ever done it in his life. “What? Why?”

It was one of the strangest requests he had ever heard, and he had already been asked for permission to jump off a bridge. Both came from the same boy, so it couldn't be a coincidence. 

He actually didn't mind hosting Taehyung, again. After all, the boy spent one night and one evening at his place, though not necessarily of his own free will and in pleasant circumstances. Jungkook was somehow ready for the next visit, but this time he wanted to know what was the reason for such a request. The request which was way past the weather talk.

“Because it will rain,” Taehyung said quietly and locked his gaze on the sky.

The answer was simple, but the message hidden behind it was much deeper. Jungkook knew perfectly well what happened to the boy the last two times when it rained. How much he waited for the rain, how much he wanted it to finally come. And he knew what else could happen if it started raining again. Despite Taehyung's words, the rain wasn't his ally at all. 

“I thought you didn't want to do it anymore,” Jungkook said, trying to suppress the anger. He hoped that the boy wouldn’t forget about the only condition he gave him in exchange for his help.

“I don't.”

“I don't trust you.”

Jungkook thought that maybe these words would finally make Taehyung look at him, but the boy was long gone, still looking at the sky. Just as he really hoped it would rain again. Only after a while he sighed and lowered his head resignedly. He seemed to be struggling with some thoughts he couldn't articulate. Jungkook wished he could read minds. That would be easier.

“I don't trust myself either. Especially when it rains,” he said quietly, almost whispering. And only then he finally looked at Jungkook. “But I trust you. That is why I'm asking you to let me stay with you tonight."

Jungkook was taken by surprise. Again. Partly because he didn’t expect such a reason, and partly because nobody has ever admitted so openly that they trust him. That they trust Jungkook. He had many acquaintances, friends, and relatives, but he couldn’t remember that one moment that could compete with the feeling he had just now. And to think out of all the close relationships he got, it came from a stranger—a random boy from school that Taehyung sort of was.

Only after a moment, the weight of the boy's words hit him as well. By admitting that he trusted him when he didn't trust himself, Taehyung directly put his life in Jungkook’s hands. He trusted him enough to make JK the person responsible for his life. 

And that thought terrified him.

He was angry at the boy for putting such an important thing on his shoulders. That in the event of a tragedy, Jungkook would be the one responsible. That it would be his fault because he was supposed to look after the boy. Because on that one night, he would be his guardian.

But Jungkook didn't want to be the responsible one. Not when he still didn't believe the boy's words. Not when everything could really happen despite his promises. JK didn't want to be played again and he didn’t need any more sleepless nights. He knew it would only make things worse. That he wouldn't be able to be strong for someone else for so long.

“Just for the rain,” Taehyung added when the raven-haired boy wasn't responding for a while. “I'll go in the minute it stops. If you want I can—”

"Okay."

Jungkook cut him short because he didn't need to be persuaded. Even though it was a huge and scary thing for him, the truth was he agreed to help Taehyung the minute he asked. Jungkook promised to help him, so he couldn’t say no right now. Especially not in such a tragic situation. A situation he knew too well.

Taehyung visibly relaxed. His shoulders dropped slightly, as did the heavy black locks on his forehead. He was a good actor but even the best ones couldn’t pretend forever. There were times when their body betrayed them with the smallest detail or the tiniest move. And it was this moment for Taehyung. Because even though JK wouldn’t have guessed the boy was nervous from looking at his face, his slightly tensed posture blew up his cover.

And although Jungkook preferred to see him in such a more relaxed state, he had to ask a question that had been bothering him since the beginning of their conversation. He bit his lip uncertainly and looked expectantly at the boy.

“But will you hide from the rain forever?” Jungkook asked softly. “If you claim you're so fond of the rain, shouldn't you face it at least once?”

He could help him as many times as the boy wanted and needed, but he wouldn’t make the problem go away. He could sit and watch over Taehyung during every rain, doesn’t matter if it was a  storm or the smallest drizzle, but it was only a temporary solution. If anything was going to change, Taehyung had to be the one who really wanted it to happen.

For example, he should let himself be helped professionally. He had to meet the therapist, no matter how many times he claimed he didn’t need it or that it wouldn’t help the case. The session with somebody qualified to help him cope with his emotions was a must and the first step toward a brighter future. JK swore he would take Taehyung by the hand and drop him in front of the therapist's office by himself if it continued like this. And maybe he'll need one visit himself. With each subsequent meeting with Taehyung, he seemed to need it more than he was willing to admit.

He looked at the boy's reaction or rather the lack of it. Taehyung stared at him with his black eyes, as if he was trying to look into his soul. The only thing that changed was his jaw, which this time was more clenched than before. Jungkook had a strange feeling that it meant fear. The same fear he saw that day on the bridge and again the second time on the staircase.

Jungkook couldn't let it take over the boy again, so he subconsciously placed his hand on his shoulder. He hoped the gesture would calm him down.

“You don't have to face it alone, you know?” Jungkook smiled lightly but his voice was still. “I can help you with that. Many people can help you with that. I shouldn't be the only person you can trust."

He really meant it. Not only because Jungkook won’t stand in this fight alone. He wanted the boy to find other people he could trust; to let him know he was not alone. But most of all, he wanted Taehyung to be able to trust himself as well.

JK squeezed his shoulder tighter and groaned as he got up from the grass. That was all he had to say. And if he wanted the boy to get something out of this conversation he had to give him a chance to think it over alone. Further insistence could only make things worse. Besides, sometimes (except the rainy days) leaving the boy alone was the best option. He was in no danger at school. Or so JK hoped.

Jungkook saw the boy watching him carefully as he was standing up and then searching through his backpack—he had to find the one thing that he carried inside almost all the time. And just a moment later, he took out a bottle of banana milk. He looked fondly at the colorful label, brushing it gently with his finger, only to hand it over to Taehyung in the end.

“Think about it, okay?” he added and offered the milk once more.

Taehyung hesitated for a moment but finally nodded slightly and took the bottle. From a distance, it might have looked like an innocent gesture—just two guys sharing a drink. But for Jungkook, it had a greater meaning. He has never shared his beloved banana milk with anyone; not even with Jimin. He would kill for banana milk—that’s how badly he loved it. That's why giving up his greatest treasure meant so much to him. 

Jungkook hoped that a similar gesture would give Taehyung something to think about. And although the boy wasn’t familiar with his habits nor his unconditional love for banana milk, perhaps the most ordinary and selfless act of kindness would open some closed door in his mind. JK really counted on it.

He swung his backpack over his shoulder, sent the boy a reassuring smile, and turned around. Without adding a word he rushed toward the lockers before their friendly conversation could attract more viewers. Jungkook knew they were observed by most of the people on the patio but he didn’t really care. What mattered the most was Taehyung. It was his time to think it through and rearrange some lost thoughts. But this part was all up to him. Jungkook couldn't help him with that, no matter how hard he tried.

Jungkook shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He could use a break as well. That’s why he was glad that his next lesson was about literature. They were discussing some boring book and he could easily space out and do nothing through the whole period. And that was exactly what he needed. JK had no clue what the meeting with Taehyung in the evening would look like so he had to prepare mentally for every possible scenario.

But his peaceful break lasted only a few steps until Jimin caught him the moment he turned right into the main hall. The blonde immediately stuck to his shoulder and didn’t want to let go.

“I won't leave you alone until you tell me what it was about.”

As expected, Jimin had to know everything. Unfortunately, Jungkook also knew his friend would do absolutely everything just to get the information out of him, so he had to discourage Jimin before he went crazy for real.

“If you don’t let go of my arm willingly, I'll force you to do it.”

“I'd like to see you try.”

The aggressive tone the blond used truly surprised Jungkook. He didn’t expect such resistance from Jimin. Maybe that is why he asked the second question hoping it would make his friend finally let go of his arm.

“Were you always that feisty or did you spend too much time with Yoongi?”

Maybe he went too far with this assumption but he couldn’t stop himself. The weird friendship going on between these two kept fascinating him and he had to solve the case at one point. And if he could get some information as well as freeing himself from intrusive Jimin then it was worth trying.

It paid off eventually. For a moment they stared at each other intensely, fighting with angry gazes, until finally Jimin snorted and released Jungkook's hand. But he wasn't about to completely let go. He crossed his arms and stared curiously at his friend.

“Just spill the tea already. Better now before people start spreading rumors about two hot guys sharing banana milk on the patio.”

The thought itself was so ridiculous that Jungkook had to smile under his breath. The people at this school really had nothing to talk about, huh?

“Don't laugh,” Jimin said firmly and hit him on the forearm. “I saw you two looking at each other like you were the only two people in the world. I was basically nonexistent and I stood just next to you. You had such good chemistry that I didn't know who I should be more jealous of. Just as if you were sharing a secret.”

One look at Jimin was enough to know he was dead serious about it. Jungkook already knew that his friend wouldn't let go of this topic unless he got some real answers. No excuses and second-handed lies will satisfy him. And it was the worst possible scenario. JK couldn't say a single word about the real reason behind their encounter. He was aware of how big of a secret he was hiding and no one, not even his best friend, could know about it unless Taehyung decided otherwise.

But he knew he had to come up with something to satisfy Jimin's thirst for fresh gossip. That is why he decided to do it in a way Jimin himself would do that—with a silly game.

He nodded appreciatively, implying that he would confess everything. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets, bit his lip slightly, and leaned over the blonde to whisper into his ear. He saw Jimin's eyes light up with excitement, which made him feel bad for using him so much. But there was no turning back.

“Our secret is quite unusual,” he started with a mysterious but seductive voice. “We share the same love for banana milk.”

Jungkook couldn't hold it back anymore. He started laughing as soon as he saw Jimin's half-disappointed, half-disgusted look. JK couldn't believe it was so easy to fool his friend like that but a moment later, he felt the consequences of his actions directly on his skin. The blonde immediately poked him on the shoulder and this time he wasn’t gentle about it at all. On the contrary, he put a lot of force into this blow, enough that Jungkook had to rub the sore spot unless he wanted to have a nasty bruise.

"You're unbelievable," he snorted when JK still couldn’t stop laughing.

Jungkook couldn’t tell why but he enjoyed that single moment of joy. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he laughed like that. Recent events made him miss those small moments of silly happiness. And to think Taehyung had none of them. Now he wanted to help him find them even more.

“So now, Mr. Funny, tell me what it was about. This time for real.”

Jimin grabbed his hips and looked at Jungkook expectantly. His mood changed completely and JK knew that another joke won’t work. So he decided on the story he had on his mind recently. The one he partially thought through while creating a credible lie for Jimin regarding his recent meetings with Taehyung. He knew his lying skills were practically nonexistent but he never gave up without a fight. The case was serious enough so he had to try his best.

“It was about some documents,” he said casually, earning a curious glance from Jimin.

“Documents?”

“Yeah, those about me living alone and so on. The school has to have the full documentation and I'm still missing some of them. Also, you know how I have to see the school's counselor from time to time so he can check on me just in case, right?” 

“Yeah, just as he should.”

“So I was supposed to meet him today, but apparently he's off somewhere and he can't make it. I guess, since they're brothers, Taehyung just wanted to tell me my visit is canceled."

He decided that the story about the brothers would be the most believable one. If he and Taehyung didn’t have many topics they could discuss by themselves, then the formal ones should do their work. Jungkook knew the story seemed a little far-fetched but it wasn’t that far away from the truth. He had to meet the school’s counselor from time to time and he in fact missed some important documents, so this part wasn’t a lie at all. Maybe that’s why he had a feeling he was convincing enough. Simply because he didn’t have to lie that much.

Still, Jimin squinted and shook his head as if he had to repeat all he had just heard to actually understand what Jungkook had told him. He seemed confused and finally asked, “What?”

“Is this that surprising? You always do some errands for your brother, right?”

It was rather obvious and the most natural behavior between siblings. And even though JK didn’t really know the relationship between Taehyung and his brother, he could assume that this aspect of the brotherhood bond worked quite well. Or so he hoped. 

“Can… can you repeat that?”

Jimin still seemed to be in a weird trance. Just as if he was thinking about something so hard that none of the new information could reach him.

“What? You always do some errands for—”

“No, no. The thing you said before.”

Jungkook didn’t exactly know what Jimin wanted to hear so he went for the most obvious information from his previous sentence.

“Since they're brothers—”

“What?!” Jimin shouted, making Jungkook flinch a little. He didn't expect such an emotional reaction. 

“Gukkie, just to make it clear. Are you really telling me right now that the dreamy, model-like, daddy counselor and our walking perfection Kim Taehyung are brothers?”

The description of the men was oddly specific, even for Jimin, but there wasn't any false information about him. Maybe except for one. “Well, they're step-brothers to be ex—”

“Oh! My! God! That's un-fucking-believable!"

Jimin shouted again and solely from the way he behaved, Jungkook knew that calming him down would be the greatest challenge of his life.

“Jimin-ssi,” Jungkook tried to suppress his friend's excitement but to no avail.

“But wait! That actually makes a lot of sense. They even have the same surname. Of course, they have the same surname, you idiot! They’re brothers! A-and Taehyung could have been transferred to any other school but he chose ours because his brother works here. Everything fits! How could I never think about it?”

"Jimin.”

“Aish, and of course they're both astronomically handsome, both have that dignified way of being and the elegant style of clothing. Now when I think about it, they also look kinda similar. Gosh, the genes in this family are strong!”

“Jimin!”

This time he shouted and Jimin finally shut up. Well, not only him. The whole hall suddenly went silent in response to his words. Everybody stared at the particular couple fighting as it might seem. And that is exactly what Jungkook tried to avoid—being the center of attention while talking about such important stuff.

He cast warning looks toward the most nosy students and they immediately turned away from them, minding their own business again. Jimin did the same but in a more friendly way. He had to maintain his school status and Jungkook angrily shouting his name in the halls wasn't helping. That is why he calmed down and looked at his friend once again. This time ready to hear what he was about to say.

“You really didn't know?” Jungkook asked, his voice full of resignation because he already knew the answer.

“Do you think I'm faking that?” Jimin pointed to the shocked expression on his face.

That’s bad. Very bad. He didn't want to reveal any of the boy’s secrets, and it turned out he did just that. Maybe he didn't give away the most important thing, but he felt that since the whole school was clueless about that, it was also quite an important thing for the brothers. That would also explain why Jimin didn't tell him about the Kim siblings when he first described the boy sitting on the bench. He simply did not know. 

Jungkook rested his head on his hand, sighed, and leaned against the lockers.

“Why are you behaving like that after telling me the best piece of information I heard in this school, huh?” Jimin asked, trying to interpret the weird behavior of his best friend.

“Because apparently, you shouldn't know about it.”

“Then why did you tell me?”

“I thought everybody knew about that.”

How was he supposed to know that it wasn’t a piece of common knowledge for the school’s community? Taehyung never hid it; never told him to keep it to himself or not to mention it to others. Quite the opposite. Their entire conversation in the counselor's office was so casual, just as if they’d done it a thousand times in front of other students. No wonder back then he felt like he was the only one who didn’t know about their relationship. Oh, how the tables have turned.

“Don't worry, soon everybody will know.”

Jimin's words made him snap out of his thoughts. Jungkook absolutely couldn't let this happen. After all, if the brothers didn’t want to keep it a secret, it would have been known by everyone by now, right? And if he was in fact the only one who knew about their relationship, it would be obvious who blabbed when the rumor spread around the school.

What if Taehyung feels even worse after revealing this information? What if Taehyung stops trusting him? Stops trusting the only person he truly trusts? Because if Jungkook hadn’t kept this one as a secret then he could have spread the information about the bridge incident as well. JK would never do that, but he had to prove his loyalty in various ways; not only with empty promises. Sometimes actions were louder than words.

"No," Jungkook said firmly. “You can't tell anyone.”

“What? Why? Can you imagine how much popularity I will gain after spreading this?”

“You're already popular.”

“True, but—”

“Jimin, you can't do that,” Jungkook cut him short and continued, this time with an explanation. Maybe that was a way to reach Jimin's righteousness. “I don't know if they want us to know about it. Secrets should stay secret.”

Jimin still looked unbothered and twice as much unconvinced as before. He folded his arms across his chest and looked at him carefully. Jungkook knew that in this way he was trying to determine the motives behind Jungkook’s behavior and understand the reason for his concerns. He always cast that kind of look whenever he wanted to know more. That hasn't changed at all. And probably will never change.

“So how did you find out then, huh?”

Jungkook was waiting for this question. In fact, he was afraid he would faint the moment Jimin looked at him with his piercing gaze—he was so stressed from being put on the spot like that. But there was no other way. If he was going to convince Jimin of anything, he had to finally spill some tea about the brothers. Fortunately, he didn't have to lie this time. It was enough to… omit a few important details. Technically it wasn’t lying, right?

“I was at the counselor’s office when Taehyung showed up. It was pretty obvious from their behavior that they were close. And they basically confirmed it back then. That's why I thought all of you knew."  

Jimin listened to the testimony in silence and nodded slightly, as he tried to process everything and decide what should he do with this information. The great fight was taking place in his mind which was clearly reflected in his eyes. Jungkook knew how serious it was for him: not gossiping for Jimin was like a day without banana milk for JK. There was no bigger sacrifice than that.

Therefore, Jungkook was afraid his friend wouldn’t listen to him this time. He hoped, however, that since he had given up his daily banana milk bottle for the sake of Taehyung, Jimin could do just the same with his gossiping habit.

“Jimin, promise me you won't tell anybody,” he asked once more and this time the blonde finally gave in.

“Ugh. Fine,” Jimin snorted and dug his finger into JK’s chest. “But you owe me. Big time. You should start thinking about the compensation because lately, you're nothing but a pain in the ass.”

Well, Jimin wasn’t wrong. Lately, all Jungkook did was act weird, avoiding his friend’s questions and asking for favors without giving anything back. That’s not how the friendship was supposed to be like. The blonde deserved better and Jungkook had to think about the way to reward him for being such an amazing friend. There were so many things he wanted to tell him but couldn’t find the opportune moment. It would be easier if it wasn’t for Taehyung hanging around him and his mind all the time. Because from now on JK had to find time for one more person in his life.  

And even though Jungkook trusted Jimin to some extent, this time he had to be sure. It wasn't only JK who was endangered by his friend's reckless behavior. This time somebody entrusted him with something way bigger than just reputation or silly gossip. The life or death matter shouldn’t be joked about.

That is why he extended his right hand and prepared his pinky for a pinky promise. Jimin glared at him but in the end, he grabbed Jungkook's finger with his.

And just as they were about to seal it with their thumbs, Jimin suddenly squeaked, “Just one person. Let me share it with one person!”

"Oh, come on!" Jungkook couldn't believe it.

“Just let me tell Hobi. Please, please, please!”

He looked at him pleadingly and shifted from foot to foot as if it could magically convince Jungkook. 

JK got annoyed by his friend's behavior, but he lowkey had expected it. Asking Jimin to keep his mouth shut was practically impossible, especially when it came to spicy gossip. Maybe that is why he decided to grant his wish. It was better to tame Jimin's gossiping soul in a controlled way than to have him do it without Jungkook knowing anyway—he probably confided in Hobi all the time. JK didn't know Hobi that well, but if Jimin trusted him, so did he. He hoped he wouldn't regret this decision later.

Jungkook sighed. “Just Hobi and Hobi only. Is it clear?”

“As today's sky.”

Jimin saluted and cast him a big smile—the one Jungkook missed so much. It meant he would surely keep his promise, although JK wasn't so sure about the other thing. If Taehyung's predictions were right, the sky tonight would be everything but clear. Jungkook only hoped the storm that was about to come would not bring any more problems—only rain.

Chapter Text

Jungkook found himself standing in front of the school, wondering what he should do now. He finished all his classes and the basketball training as well; he should have been free half an hour before but he couldn’t stop himself from exchanging a few more words with Namjoon. Somehow talking with the boy was really refreshing and exactly what he needed right now. The boy knew so much about basketball but apparently was also skilled in other areas.

They parted ways in the parking lot where Namjoon took his bicycle and drove away. That was rather unexpected to see but in the end, Joon was one of the boys who liked sports so maybe he treated cycling as one of them. JK didn’t think about it for too long.

But he started thinking about Taehyung. Or more about what they had agreed on during their talk on the patio. The boy wanted to spend the night at his house but he had never mentioned any details about his visit. Should Jungkook wait for him so they can go there together? Or will the boy come later after he changes into something more comfortable at home?

JK knew nothing. He didn’t even have Taehyung’s phone number to call him or text him. For a split second, he thought of asking Jimin about it but immediately abandoned that idea. First of all, the blond would not let him live after such a request, knowing how suspiciously they behaved lately. And secondly, he assumed Jimin simply didn’t have it; he doubted anyone at this school had it—that would be such a flex.

So what was left for Jungkook was to get on his motorbike and simply come home, hoping Taehyung would find his way there on his own. He knew the address too well.

Apparently, Taehyung wasn’t wrong with his weather predictions. It was colder with every passing minute and the pleasant sun already hid behind the clouds. At first, they were only white but gradually they were turning gray to eventually cover the whole sky with the black ones. So much so that when he parked at the estate, he could already feel that strange dampness in the air. 

He climbed the stairway and slowly reached the fourth floor. Just as he approached his apartment, he got the long-awaited answer. He had no problem recognizing a familiar figure sitting on the stairs, right next to the door. Taehyung simply leaned against the wall and read a book passionately, although after a while JK noticed that it was one of the textbooks. The boy was very focused and didn't even notice Jungkook’s presence. And it gave JK a moment to admire the view.

The gold-and-green shirt suggested that the boy came here right after school, without catching a breath at home. It only made Jungkook regret that he had stayed so long at the locker room after practice. Usually, he was the first one to get changed and leave the school but this time, besides talking to Namjoon, he wanted to chat a little with other team members, just to know them better. After all, it wasn’t even a week since he had been accepted to the team. He wanted to know something more about the boys and their habits.

But maybe today wasn’t the best day to do so. Had he been here earlier, he might not have found the boy waiting for him in front of his apartment. Jungkook wondered how long has he been sitting there.

JK sighed and took the last two steps just to stand directly above the boy. He hoped it might finally get his attention, but Taehyung was still focused on his textbook. It wasn't until JK quietly cleared his throat, that Taehyung finally looked up. He nodded slightly and hurriedly closed the book, then got up from the stairs. He seemed quite pleased that he didn't have to sit there any longer, which only implied that he in fact had spent some time here.

“You should have told me you would be here earlier,” Jungkook said with a sign of remorse. “I would have given you the keys.”

He felt bad that Taehyung had to wait for him for so long. If they had planned their meeting earlier, there would be no such misunderstandings. It would be enough for Taehyung to tell him that he wants to visit right after school and Jungkook would surely give him the keys to his apartment. Even though JK didn’t trust the boy with many things, this one didn’t concern him at all.

“It's not a big deal,” the boy sighed and waved his hand rather dismissively. “Besides, you shouldn't share your keys with strangers.”

The last sentence sounded quite sarcastic, although the serious tone in which it was uttered suggested otherwise. Regardless of Taehyung’s intentions, at that stage of their relationship, it would be rather hard to call them strangers. They were definitely past this term.

Therefore JK simply reached into his pocket, took out the keys, and opened the door, letting Taehyung inside first.

The boy politely left his shoes in the hall and headed toward the living room. He stood calmly in the middle of the room and curiously looked around, hanging his gaze on the numerous gems and books scattered around the cabinets. Some of them were still from the time Jungkook had lived here with his mother. Although there were no photos or family heirlooms (they traveled to Atlanta three years ago), there were still some figurines left. Jungkook was sure if he looked through the deepest cabinets, he would find more photos and memories, but he had no intention of taking them out.

Nevertheless, the rather cozy, maybe even slightly vintage style of his living room clearly caught the attention of the boy, who couldn’t take his eyes off the old chandelier.

“It's nice to see the apartment for once,” Taehyung mumbled.

It took JK a moment to understand the comment. Then he realized that the two times Taehyung had been here, he was everything but in the mood for looking around and appreciating the décor. There was no time for that. Besides, they spent most of their time in the kitchen anyway.

That's why Jungkook just casually leaned against the wall and watched the boy who admired his living room. He looked a bit like a kid in a museum who didn’t quite know where to look. Taehyung seemed to be fascinated by something but still looked uncertain and cautious—as if he was entering this place for the first time. The firm grip on the strap of his bag which was still slung over his shoulder and an equally firm grip on the textbook in his right hand gave away his wariness.

“Do you like it?” JK asked, interpreting the boy's behavior.

Taehyung tilted his head slightly as if he wasn't sure about his answer. "It's different from the place I live."

"How different?"

"Feels more like... home."

He said it with such delicacy and longing, that Jungkook could tell immediately the boy missed something. Unfortunately, it felt like this something Taehyung wanted so badly was already long gone or never really existed. Jungkook didn't know what was so special about this place for a boy to feel like this. Especially when for JK it was just a regular apartment: a place full of memories from his childhood and times when everything was just easier. 

"Do you need something?" JK asked, as he still didn't know what was the purpose of the boy’s visit. He surely didn’t come here to look around his apartment the whole night.

Taehyung quickly shook his head. "No, no. I'll just do my stuff." He raised the textbook, suggesting that he would study. "No need to worry about me. Just act as if I wasn't even there."

Jungkook knew these were only the pleasantries so he could feel comfortable in his apartment but there was no way in the world he could not worry about the boy right now. After all, Taehyung was his guest and the biggest responsibility he has ever had on his shoulders. Even if the boy was going to stare at his books all night, Jungkook still had to be on standby—just in case. 

And just at that moment, both of them heard the heavy raindrops slowly taping the window glass in the living room. At first, it was only a few of them but a second later the rain came with such power that the whole glass became blurry with the water. Taehyung stared at the window so intensely that JK felt as if the boy’s mind had transferred to the other reality. He completely froze for a second with that horrible blank stare locked somewhere in the rain. He was again in the state that made Jungkook worry so much.

JK had to stop it somehow, but surprisingly Taehyung beat him to it. He quickly turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to erase the disturbing picture from his mind. He took one deep breath and only then he dared to face Jungkook again.

"I-I'll just do some revisions," he said quickly. “So please, don't bother.”

Taehyung waved his hand dismissively and rushed toward the kitchen. JK wanted to stop him, but in the end, he decided to respect his request. It was better to let him do his thing (whatever it was) if that could make him feel slightly better in such conditions.

However, he wanted to treat Taehyung as the true host should, so he offered, "Okay then. I'll cook something later so if you want—"

“I'm fine.”

Came a quick response and it was the one JK hated the most. He was about to speak up but he bit his tongue the second the nasty comeback came to his mind. There was no point in arguing with the boy right now. Besides, Jungkook wasn’t his mother—he wouldn’t force him to eat. Although at a certain point, he kind of should.

Taehyung left his bag in the hall, just next to his shoes, and pulled out a few more books before heading to the kitchen. He sat down in his favorite spot and set up his perfect student's corner. Not a minute had passed and he was already jotting down something in his notebook, flipping through the pages of the textbook. What was left for JK was to stare at his back. No wonder the boy chose this place—it was the only one in his apartment where one couldn't see the window and what was going on behind it.

JK sighed, It won't be an easy night, huh?

He didn't want to go to the kitchen right away, so he took care of everything else around him first, and only when he felt his stomach rumbling, he decided he couldn't wait any longer. He had to eat something; basketball training got him not only tired but also hungry. Jungkook liked cooking, he really did, but sometimes he just didn't feel like it. Just like today.

However, since he had a guest, he could try something more fancy than putting leftovers from yesterday into the microwave. Even though Taehyung said he didn't want to eat, it was possible that he would eventually get hungry. That is why JK had to try a little harder. So instead of taking the box with chicken pasta from yesterday (and JK really wanted to eat that one), he grabbed some fresh ingredients from the fridge.

He started to prepare dinner, but from time to time his gaze drifted toward the boy studying just next to him. JK wondered if he wasn’t disturbing him with the notorious bustling around the kitchen; Jungkook for sure wouldn’t be able to focus in such conditions. But at one point Taehyung gently moved the textbooks to make more space on the counter, so JK took it as a sign that he could continue with his cooking. 

Since Taehyung told him not to be overly hospitable, he decided to follow his advice and simply did things as if the boy wasn’t even there. And the feeling was quite mutual.

Apparently, Jungkook’s presence in the kitchen didn't bother Taehyung at all. The boy was focused on studying enough not to pay attention to JK's excessively loud behavior. He was flipping through two large history of art textbooks and every now and then he made notes in his notebook or underlined the text with a purple highlighter. His handwriting was neat, and each of the notes was properly arranged—all in perfect order. It suited his perfect student image although Jungkook was convinced only girls cared about such crap.

The calmness and soothing aura emanating from the boy made Jungkook unable to focus on cooking—watching Taehyung fully focused on his notes seemed to be a way more attractive thing to do. The boy took slow and deep breaths, his hand levitated freely over the notes and from time to time it stroked the black strands falling on his forehead. Somehow this time they did disturb him; usually, he ignored them each time he sat on his infamous bench drawing something in his brown notebook.

But what caught Jungkook’s attention the most were the times when the tip of the pencil gently touched his pink lips. Taehyung did that each time he read one of the texts carefully, memorizing the new material, and just before putting it on the paper as a well-organized note.

Jungkook just couldn't look away from these damn lips of his. How could they have such a vividly pink color? Just as if he wore lipstick. A guy couldn’t have such ideal lips and it was even weirder for JK to find them so attractive. Gosh, so many girls would like to be gifted with such lips, yet it happened that all of the best features were given to Taehyung. The boy was just flawless.

Lucky enough the color of Taehyung’s lips was far away from that freezing purple they had the first time he came to his apartment. They were a part of that ghastly image Jungkook tried to forget. Maybe that is why he had to check up on them so often—just to make sure they were still in that lovely shade of pink.  

The moment Jungkook realized he was mindlessly staring at the boy, he reminded himself that he was also cooking dinner. He quickly turned and grabbed the frying pan a second before the delicious noodles could turn into inedible crap. Fortunately, he came to his senses just in time. However, was it for another glance toward the boy and he would have to eat the leftovers from yesterday.

Just a few minutes later JK managed to put the food on the plate and once again asked Taehyung if he wanted some. The boy immediately shook his head, without even looking up from his textbook. Jungkook waited a moment longer as if it could make him change his mind but ultimately there was nothing JK could do to convince him. So he took his plate and went to the living room, leaving the boy alone in the kitchen.

Jungkook spent the next hour on the couch, watching replays of some old basketball matches and eating his fancy noodles (in the end, they were slightly overcooked), and from now and then he checked what was going on in the kitchen. Of course, absolutely nothing has changed since he left the boy alone—Taehyung still sat there and studied another textbook.

Such an image calmed Jungkook down but at the same time, it made him somehow nervous. Why was he even studying? For what? After all, if it wasn't for JK, Taehyung wouldn't have attended these finals or taken any other exam in his life. So why was it so important for him right now? With everything that had recently happened in his life, how was he able to focus on school and studying? Shouldn’t it be the last thing a person focuses on after such tragic events?

Was it again one of these things someone forced him to do? The one he didn't want to but had to do because of the silly expectations and sole pressure of his family, maybe his brother as well? Hell, Jungkook told him to leave those stupid things behind and start doing things he wanted to do. Not others, just Taehyung.

Suddenly Jungkook got angry. Nothing about it made sense so he decided he had to find out what was going on here.

He slowly made his way to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. He wanted to make one for Taehyung as well; even though the boy claimed he wasn’t hungry, the tea was a gift he surely wouldn’t refuse. Besides, each cup of tea they had in his kitchen made them more talkative about certain serious matters. Jungkook hated this pattern but this time he hoped the tea would make Taehyung explain his odd behavior.

Jungkook placed two cups on the counter and offered one to the boy, who only looked up for a moment and accepted the cup with a shy smile. Good, he got the catch; Jungkook could proceed with his plan. 

He sat on the other side and discreetly checked out all the materials spread out on the counter. They all contained some notes on art, and there were quite a few paintings. These must have been the famous textbooks that were supposed to make the boy the smartest student in that field.

“It's a lot to learn,” he mumbled, trying to catch the boy's attention.

“What? Those?” Taehyung pointed at the books without looking away from his notes. “It's not even half of the material.”

The answer caught Jungkook by surprise. Those two books were enormous—probably the biggest textbooks he had ever seen. That’s why he couldn't imagine there was even more to learn. Well, Taehyung was already in the finals where the stakes were high; the smallest details mattered and only the best at memorizing and understanding such material could win. JK admired Taehyung for being able to do it and actually wanting to do it. He wouldn't have the patience.

“When are the finals?”

“In two months.”

“Not much time left then,” he admitted, being genuinely surprised by the short time till the finals. He wouldn't have had time to read those books, let alone memorize them. It would be impossible for Jungkook to do but apparently, some people had such abilities: one of them sitting right in front of him.

And since Taehyung was actually studying, there was one question bothering Jungkook. “Do you plan to go?”

At first, the question seemed like the stupidest of them all: Taehyung spent the last hour studying and the evidence was right under Jungkook’s nose. There could be no mistake about how seriously the boy prepared for the finals—he surely planned to go and even win.

However, any question about the boy’s future seemed to be a hard one to answer. Jungkook had a feeling that Taehyung himself didn't know what would happen to him in the coming days, let alone in two months from now.

And he was not wrong. Taehyung immediately froze: with his hand hovered over the textbook and his eyes absently fixed on the notes. The boy tried his hardest to look indifferent and even managed to do so, except for the little details that blew away his cover. The hand with the pencil started to tremble slightly just after he subconsciously bit his lip, trying to hide a small gulp. 

Jungkook noticed all of it and before Taehyung said anything, the raven-haired boy had already known the answer.

“I wouldn't be studying if I didn't—"

“Oh you can drop that charade,” Jungkook cut in as he couldn't stand this composed but obviously fake tone. “You don't have to pretend in front of me, you know that.”

He wished the boy would stop pretending and trying to push his fake persona on him. Taehyung should have known by now that it won’t work on JK—he didn’t get fooled the first time they saw each other so he surely won’t get fooled now. Jungkook saw the horrible state the boy was in. He could even easily assume that was the lowest the boy had ever been. He witnessed it all. Why pretend now?

Was this whole studying scene made just to confuse Jungkook? Was it all fake again? If so JK was about to explode with anger. He hoped Taehyung wasn’t stupid enough to try and play such tricks on him. Not after he offered him help for the thousandth time.

“I told you before, you should start doing things you like, not—"

“But I like it,” Taehyung suddenly snapped back.

Only then, did he look up from his notes for the first time and finally locked his gaze on the surprised Jungkook. 

JK didn’t expect such a confession. It didn't match with everything that has happened recently. However, a certain passion with which Taehyung admitted it, made him think that this time he wasn’t pretending. JK didn't know what to think anymore. 

Still, he must have had some kind of hunch because a moment later, Taehyung sighed and put his pencil down on the table just to cross his arms over his chest. He didn't seem convinced, even though his confession sounded pretty much convincing. It was as if he suddenly questioned his words.

“Or at least I think I do,” he added quietly and shrugged. “Lately I don't know which things I really like, which ones I'm just used to doing, and which ones I taught myself to like through pretending I like them.”

This confession was quite an overwhelming one. Even Jungkook felt bad hearing how the boy has been living lately. And for how long has this been going on? Because it clearly wasn’t a temporary thing. The boy has been playing the role of the school's walking perfection for so long that he forgot what it was like to be the real him—Kim Taehyung.

And if he couldn't say what he really liked, it didn't bode well for the future. Damn, how could one not know what they really like? It was one of the most basic questions to answer yet Taehyung was still confused. Gosh, what is happening with this boy?

Taehyung leaned over the counter to rest his elbows on it. He looked as if he was seriously considering something; as if he didn't know whether he should speak or not. His fight with himself was quite cute, but Jungkook preferred to hear this question, which was clearly running over the boy's head. 

Luckily, Taehyung finally made up his mind and started, “The last time I was here, I wasn't nice to you. And again I'm really sorry about that.”

Jungkook frowned because he did not understand why the boy apologized once again. JK already said he didn’t hold a grudge against him, on the contrary, he still wanted to help him. It didn't make sense to apologize at this moment, but Jungkook decided to play along. Whatever was going inside the boy’s mind had to be somehow connected with another thought. So he nodded slowly, accepting the apology, and waited for what Taehyung wanted to say next.

“But then you also told me that… that we… that you can find something that will not make my life meaningless. Do you still believe it's possible?”

He asked the question with such hope in his voice that for a moment JK didn't know how to answer. It was such a promising state of the boy, so before this hope could disappear forever, he replied immediately, "I do."

Jungkook truly believed that one thing could be found, and he wanted Taehyung to believe it as well. JK enjoyed the boy's hopeful look: his eyes got bigger and brighter as if somebody put a little more life into them. Taehyung straightened up in his chair, his posture changed—he seemed way more confident, ready to face whatever challenges life still had for him.

“Will you help me find it?”

It sounded more like a statement than a question, and it was the tone that surprised Jungkook more than the content itself. It wasn’t the first time Taehyung was so direct with him; JK clearly remembered all the accusations said in the same exact place or the way the boy asked him for permission to stay with him tonight. In both of these situations, Taehyung was pretty much straightforward, however, this time he was also desperate. And that changed a lot.

Taehyung seemed to realize that his behavior might have been inappropriate; he was too expressive, too greedy. He looked down quickly, afraid of confrontation and the eventual refusal. He got visually smaller—his confident posture was long gone, and he began to nervously fiddle with his pencil. Just like a shy kid.

“I mean, only if you want to—”

“I will,” Jungkook cut him short, again. “I think I've already told you I will help you, right?”

They stared at each other for a moment: Jungkook with compassion and Taehyung with shy gratitude, after which he nodded slightly. JK knew that this tiny gesture was somehow a boy's expression of happiness. Or at least something like this, as JK didn't believe the boy could feel something remotely close to happiness right now. He could bet Taehyung hadn't felt it for quite a long time.

And maybe that's what made Jungkook want to help him so much. Without thinking twice, without any ulterior motives  He just felt he had to. Life without meaning and at least a drop of happiness was so fucking awful. 

“But you really want to find it, right?” Even if Taehyung's expression and words suggested so, Jungkook had to be sure. “It isn't another lie I'm supposed to believe in?”

The boy was good with lies and pretending—he already fooled him once. And even though Jungkook didn't believe it was the case this time, he wanted to remind Taehyung about his only condition for helping him.

The boy looked at him carefully and timidly bit his lip. He looked embarrassed as if he regretted lying to him in the first place. But such a genuine reaction combined with a vigorous head shake made Jungkook believe that this time he was not being fooled.

“Good,” JK nodded. “Because I think I know where we should start.”

He had been thinking about it for some time and now was the best time to finally find out if he was right. Jungkook wanted to know, partly because he hoped he might have found the best possible solution, and partly because he was simply curious. So before Taehyung could cast him a confused look, he grinned mysteriously and rose from his seat.

He immediately left the kitchen and went toward the hall—if he remembered correctly, Taehyung's bag must have been there, which meant that the one thing he was looking for had to be there as well. He bent over a brown bag adorned with a silk handkerchief and unzipped it without hesitation. It never crossed his mind that rummaging through the boy's things might be considered impolite. He couldn’t hold back if he wanted to help him, so a similar thought didn’t bother him at all.

Taehyung carried a lot of things in his bag: textbooks, notebooks, pens, and a few other less important things. However, everything was arranged in a specific way which only helped JK find that one thing. Jungkook grabbed the brown notebook and took it out of the bag. It was the same notebook that Taehyung was often seen with on the patio. The one notebook he never parted with; the one he seemed to be guarding with his own life.

If there was one thing Taehyung cared about, the one thing that gave his life meaning, it had to be inside this notebook.

And Jungkook was right. Taehyung immediately got up from his chair and rushed toward him. He reached out to grab the notebook, but Jungkook managed to cover it with his body at the very last moment. When such protection was not enough, he pushed the boy away with his elbow and raised his hand with the notebook high up.

“Hey! Give it back!” Taehyung demanded and tried to reach the notebook.

They were about the same height, so it shouldn't be much of a problem for Taehyung. However, it wasn’t as easy as it seemed. Fighting with Jungkook was quite a challenge; he was much stronger, more fit, and easily fended off all of the attacks. But Taehyung was well aware of JK’s strength. It wasn’t their first fight. He lost all of the past ones, including the most important one on the bridge.

“I said. Give. It. Back!” he said through clenched teeth.

Taehyung couldn’t give up, and since words didn't work, he had to try and take his property back by force. He gathered all his strength and stood on tiptoes just to grab Jungkook's wrist. Such a gesture brought them much closer together, enough that Jungkook had to take a step back to keep his balance. However, Taehyung didn't pay any attention to it. He was so close to his goal. He could almost touch a notebook with his fingertips.

“Aaaah. Well. So there is something you really care about, hmm?” Jungkook said playfully which made Taehyung stop immediately.

He turned his head toward Jungkook only to see how close their faces really were. He fixed his piercing gaze straight at the raven-haired boy. JK’s words got stuck in his head mostly because they were true—his chaotic behavior only confirmed that whatever was inside the notebook greatly mattered to him.

Jungkook saw some kind of sadness in the boy’s eyes. It was as if he regretted acting on the spot, letting himself be carried away and being easily provoked like that. Taehyung hesitated as to what to do next: to give up and confirm what was already obvious for both of them or maybe fight a little bit more to keep his honor even if it was pointless anyway. 

The decision didn’t really matter as in both cases the outcome was very much the same, however, the timing of this decision was important for Jungkook. He hoped the boy would make up his mind as quickly as possible. Preferably just before Jungkook loses control and instead of staring at the boy's concerned eyes, his gaze will fall a little bit lower to these beautifully pink lips.

And the second it was about to happen, Taehyung finally lowered his head and let go of Jungkook's wrist. He sighed and resignedly took a step back, giving them a little more space. It also meant that he would not fight anymore. He only grabbed his hips and stared mindlessly at the floor. He looked like someone waiting for a not-so-favorable judgment.

Jungkook cleared his throat and finally lowered the hand with a notebook. Only now could he freely look at the boy's property. It had a leather cover and was quite heavy, which surprised JK at first. The notebook also seemed quite old, but it had that retro vibe to it that just suited the boy’s whole image. It was as if he truly held part of Taehyung in his hands.

“What's inside?” he asked.

“What's the point of answering if you're going to look anyway?”

“Maybe I won't?”

Taehyung gave him a pointed look. He was right—Jungkook would look inside regardless of what he wanted to say. Still, JK wanted to hear it first from the boy. That's why he kept waiting. 

After a moment, the boy sighed and added barely audibly, "Drawings."

“What?”

“Drawings,” he repeated louder and added with a pinch of embarrassment, “Designs actually.”

This interested Jungkook enough to make him raise an eyebrow, a bit as if he needed another confirmation from the boy. When he received no other comment, his curiosity took over. He grabbed the notebook tighter and carefully opened it. He had to be careful not to lose a few pages, which immediately flew out. He quickly grabbed two of them and gently placed them inside the notebook. 

Though the truth was, he didn't want to put them away at all. One look at these pages was enough to make him speechless.

The notebook was indeed full of drawings but not just any kind of drawings. Just as Taehyung said: they were designs or to be exact—fashion designs. The entire notebook was filled with various fashion-related projects, mainly men's wear. Everything was kept in a rather unusual but very vintage style. Jungkook could imagine Taehyung wearing each of the looks he designed. All of these fabrics would be a great addition to his fancy shirt collection—they were so much in his style.

The boy’s scathes were phenomenal. His lines were unique: delicate but also very defined in some places. It was better exposed in a few drawings completely unrelated to fashion. Sometimes he sketched hands or other body parts as if he was inspired by famous paintings or sculptures. In that way, the notebook became the boy’s portfolio—a mixture of fashion and art.

Jungkook absolutely loved what he saw. In a way, this whole design thing suited and didn't suit the boy at the same time. It seemed that with such looks Taehyung should be a model, not a designer. Regardless, one thing was sure: he was immensely talented.

Jungkook looked up from his notebook, though he didn't really want to. He was so absorbed by this unusual art that even the shortest break felt like the most painful breakup. And the author of this masterpiece stood just in front of him, still staring at the floor. A bit like a child who just showed his drawing to his mother who was about to decide if it was good enough to display on the fridge. Taehyung had nothing to worry about. His drawings deserved recognition greater than just a fridge.

“They're really good,” JK admitted, nodding with admiration.

"I know." Taehyung shrugged. “But I'd rather hear it from somebody who has some experience with such designs.”

Jungkook had to look up from his notebook once again, hearing a rather bitter remark. He was strangely overconfident but JK decided to let it slide—this time Taehyung was right. With such talent, the boy had all right to feel confident and brag about his work. And even though Jungkook was not an expert he was sure that even qualified artists would appreciate his designs.

And that's when it all finally made sense. “So that's why you're doing this whole history of arts thing, right?”

“It's a good inspiration and it can get me into NYAAD .”

Just hearing the name of the school made Jungkook hold his breath. New York Academy of Art and Design was a top university; only the best could be accepted there. Most of the famous fashion designers and modern painters or art-focused people graduated from NYADD. The hall of fame there was so star-packed, that Jungkook didn’t even know where to start. No wonder Taehyung wanted to be one of them—with such talent one should pursue what’s best for them.

However, getting there was a miracle. You could be the most promising designer in the world, with the most extraordinary portfolio and an enormous amount of money for tuition, but without luck, there was no chance of getting accepted. Of course, doing everything to help this luck work wasn’t forbidden, which is why Jungkook finally understood where the image of Taehyung—the perfect student originated from.

Extraordinary grades, perfect attendance, being president of the school’s body and a member of several science clubs; all of these to get some extra points for the recruiting system. A high score in the history of art competition could possibly guarantee him a place, but Taehyung was probably also fighting for a scholarship. The tuition was out of this world.

Jungkook was impressed. Hell, even that fluency in French made sense now. Everything fit together so well that one could call it…

“...a perfect plan,” he said out loud unconsciously, but it was too late to take it back.

Taehyung growled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. A perfect plan for a walking perfection. You have no idea how many times I heard it.”

He sounded as if he was tired of similar comments and Jungkook wasn’t surprised at all. It must have been hard for him to be compared to perfection all the time, but, once again, it was he who created such an image. Shouldn’t Taehyung be blamed for all of this? Aish, it was so messed up, that is why Jungkook decided not to engage further with this topic. Especially when he saw that disgusted expression on the boy’s face.

“Although every time I heard it, it was accompanied by some bullshit remark or a follow-up question,” Taehyung continued sarcastically. “Something like: how can a piece of art study art? I shouldn’t be studying there but be studied as a special case of walking perfection. Or that I should be a model instead of a designer since I’m more attractive than any of my future models will ever be. And many more stupid things like this. Don't you have a take on that?”

Jungkook didn't answer—it would be foolish of him to speak now and engage in this weird passive-aggressive vibe of Taehyung’s question. Especially when a few minutes ago he had a similar thought running inside his head. The moment he opened the notebook he wondered how was it possible that someone so handsome and artsy was involved in the creation of even more beautiful things. As it was a destiny from the very beginning.

Apparently, it wasn’t as beautiful as it seemed. There was a saying that pretty people had it easier in life but as it turned out it wasn’t always true. Taehyung's remark only confirmed Jungkook’s belief that it couldn't be easy for the boy. People judged him only based on his looks and the amazing aura around him.

But how could they judge him differently if Taehyung was the one refusing the contact? By keeping his distance, not befriending anyone, or cutting down all the conversations, even the shortest ones, he gave them no choice but to judge him from the distance. If he wanted to change the way people saw him, he should start by changing his behavior. And that option was probably out of the question for the boy. At least for now.

Why it must be so messed up? Jungkook though, as it was the never-ending loop of the boy’s problems merged into one big mess without any reasonable solution. It was all somehow connected but JK still couldn’t see a way out.

So he decided to focus on something he could confirm without silly games and mindless guessing. One look at the notebook was enough to ensure him it was a thing the boy truly liked. Not because he was used to pretending or he gaslighted himself to like it. He liked it; for real.

He cared enough to fight with JK for it. Something he surprisingly didn’t do while fighting for his own life back at the bridge. Maybe that’s why Jungkook knew it must have been important for Taehyung.

“But this.” Jungkook raised the notebook making sure it was also visible for Taehyung. “This you really like, I can tell. You put a lot of heart and soul into these designs. It shows and screams you. Isn't it something that makes your life meaningful?”

If Taehyung was looking for a thing that would give his life meaning, this was definitely the one. It fitted him perfectly: it was something he simultaneously liked and was really good at. If he was fed up with all these extracurricular activities, maybe the solution was to focus only on the drawings or maybe just on the finals. Or come up with some other solution that would relieve him mentally; give him a moment to breathe and erase all the bad thoughts circulating in his mind.  

Because something clearly had to be wrong, since such a well-planned future for the boy could never happen. 

Taehyung stared at his notebook but didn't seem convinced. He looked as if he was trying to find a witty comeback just to deny Jungkook’s words. But there was nothing to deny. All JK said was true and Taehyung must have been delusional or simply stupid not to agree with him. And yet he tried anyway.

“I do like it but…” he stopped, not sure of his next words. “But… but maybe I'm not passionate enough about it if I was able to give it up so easily.”

Such an approach only annoyed Jungkook. Comparing giving up your greatest passion and giving up your will to live was more than a low blow. These two things were completely incomparable and JK was surprised that of all people, it was Taehyung who decided to try and compare them anyway.

Jungkook didn't like people who gave up quickly; who didn't fight to the end and who didn't try to find a solution. Giving up was a shortcut and a shortcut was just the pretty name for cheating. And there was no type of people JK despised more than cheaters.

“The only thing you're not passionate enough about is yourself,” Jungkook almost spitted these words in anger. “Nobody should be able to give up on himself so easily as you did.”

Jungkook threw the notebook back on the small table in the living room. It landed with a loud thud with several pages falling out. Funny enough it was such a great metaphor. If Taehyung still wanted to compare his life to a mere passion, this gesture perfectly captured how he wanted to throw both of those things away.

JK shouldn’t have got angry so easily but he couldn’t believe how their conversation got so messed up. Taehyung finally asked him for help, maybe not as directly as he previously imagined, but still did. So why did Jungkook feel as if he was the only one involved? Why the boy was still so oblivious and dismissive? Couldn’t he cooperate for once? Why deny it when Jungkook was right?

And as JK thought he should probably step back and try once again, this time with better arguments or attitude, just to get the right message through, Taehyung surprised him once again. The boy stopped staring sadly at the floor, snorted under his breath, and took a rather offensive stance.

“Oh, please stop it before it turns into another self-love bullshit lecture. I'm tired of it.”

The boy seemed annoyed that JK had brought up such a topic. It was obvious solely from his attitude that he would like to end it as soon as possible. And if Taehyung was as expressive about it as he'd never been before, it meant Jungkook must have hit the jackpot. There was no way JK would back up right now. He had to know what was it all about.

“Why should I?”

“Because it’s bullshit, I told you,” Taehyung repeated with no less disgust than before. “No amount of self-love and acceptance of your good and bad sides can make the problem go away. Loving yourself is never an answer. It just doesn’t work this way. And my brother keeps repeating it on and on, all the time, like a stupid mantra. I’m so sick of it. If I hear one more time that I should love the precious soul of mine, not perfect but beautiful me, I'll literally throw up.”

Maybe living with a therapist under one roof was not easy, especially for a person who had a similar problem, but Seokjin was not wrong. Jungkook liked the sound of these words but the most unsettling thing about them was Taehyung who saw it differently. This only confirmed JK's concern that the boy had a much more serious problem than being overloaded with school duties. The problem was obviously buried somewhere deep inside his mind and maybe in his heart as well. And that was a place no one could reach easily. No words were enough to get there.

And yet Jungkook tried.

“But your brother's right.”

Taehyung waited a little as if he needed a few seconds to actually understand Jungkook’s words. At first, he furrowed his brows quite displeased with an answer, but a second later his eyes flashed open. He shook his head in disbelief but all JK could see in his piercing gaze was betrayal.

“No, no, no! Don’t tell me you’re taking his side as well.”

“It’s not about choosing a side.”

“Then what it is about, huh?”

“I know it might be hard to understand right now but your brother is right.”

“You clearly don't have a brother as a therapist and it shows,” Taehyung snorted sarcastically and if it wasn’t for an argument they had right now, JK would have probably smiled at this comment.

“Well, no, I don’t—"

“So how can you know that?” 

“I just—"

“Tell me, how the hell can you know that?” Taehyung raised his voice.

JK wanted to respond but the slightest hesitation in his voice was enough for Taehyung to cut in and continue with his narrative. “You see? You can't. So please, keep this self-love bullshit to yourself.”

This stubborn approach, cutting in and not letting Jungkook speak only made him mad. He didn’t want to quarrel with the boy (he knew how it had ended the last time they did it), but today he couldn’t give up so easily. Somehow making Taehyung angry made him more talkative as well: just as if Jungkook had opened one of the oldest wounds. JK knew it was a dick move but he decided to rub some salt there just to finally get some answers.

“This bullshit wouldn't be the case if it wasn't true. Specialists can’t be wrong about it.”

“Then I’m lucky you’re one of them,” Taehyung mocked him.

“You’re unbelievable! You don’t want to listen to your brother who is a specialist, you won’t listen to me either. Then who can make you change your mind?”

“I’m not easily convinced.”

“You’re just stupid, that’s what you are.”

Taehyung scoffed and grabbed his hips.

“Now what? Are we going to stand here and call each other out?”

“You better be creative because I already have a list of names I want to call you. And don’t be surprised, none of them is even remotely close to being family-friendly.”

And this moment Jungkook felt exactly the same as the first time they sat on the boy’s favorite bench at school. When JK was so angry at his behavior at the party he wanted to tell off Taehyung from head to toe, showing him how far from the so-called perfection he was. And right now all the hatred suddenly came back and Jungkook couldn’t really tell where from.

“Or we can skip the name-calling part and you can just admit you’re wrong.”

Jungkook suggested with a passive-aggressive tone but Taehyung only smiled helplessly. He shook his head as if it could make him ignore JK’s words. Almost like a toddler who refuses to listen to his mother’s scolding. But similarly to all the mothers of the world, Jungkook wasn’t about to stop either.

“News flash: life sucks. The only way we can survive here is to at least be at ease with ourselves. The faster you accept it the better. It takes time, I get it, and some people are just—"

“Then maybe I'm different.” Taehyung cut in again and at this point, Jungkook had already decided there was no point in holding back. No matter the approach, Taehyung would still be oblivious.

“Pff, of course, you’re different.”

“Stop acting like you know what’s going on! You don't know me, you don't—” 

“Because you don't want people to know you!” 

“And I'm right to do so!” he shouted. “I'm doing you all a huge favor, so you could never see how horrible a person I really am. How horrible a person I can become. How can people like that side of me, if I don't even like myself?"

“Listen—” 

Jungkook started, but couldn’t finish, this time not because of Taehyung. Suddenly they saw a bright flash, followed by a huge bang. JK flinched at a loud noise; he really got scared. However, he couldn’t tell the reaction of the boy, as a moment later, the light in the room went out.

Jungkook looked out of the window only to see all the other apartments without the lights on. He wasn’t surprised at all. They had a blackout here each time the heavy storm struck—it was the charm of living in this area. It only meant the lightning must have struck really close depriving the neighborhood of electricity till morning at best.

The room got completely dark. Not even the moon could give them some light as it was covered by thick storm clouds. The only thing that glowed in the dark was a battery-powered electronic clock on the kitchen counter.

The weather has chosen the right moment to interrupt their conversation. It was as if it was following their quarrel closely and decided to end it at the most heated part. Maybe for the best. Who knows what else they would shout to each other’s faces if they continued like that?

This was not how Jungkook wanted this evening to go. He was supposed to help Taehyung; they were on the verge of finding the missing meaning of the boy’s life. So how the hell did they end up fighting and shouting at each other?

Jack somehow regretted his behavior and acting on his emotions. Talking to Taehyung wasn’t easy but he shouldn’t have gotten carried away like that. He should have been the rational one, the mature one, the one who knows what to do, contrary to the lost and insecure boy. Shouting at Taehyung was never a solution: arguments with the boy always led nowhere. JK knew that yet he stupidly tried it once again. It was already extremely hard for Taehyung so putting him under even more pressure with this quarrel couldn’t have been comfortable. No wonder the boy finally broke down.

When Jungkook’s eyes got used to the darkness he could finally see the boy in front of him. Taehyung fell on the couch, leaned forward, and hid his face in his hands. He didn’t seem to notice the thunder or he simply didn’t care about it, when the much more dangerous storm was twirling inside his head. He anchored his fingers tightly between his curly strands and squeezed them so tightly as if he wanted to rip them all at once. He was trembling and swaying a little, and even if the rain outside was quite noisy, JK could still hear his heavy breathing.

The image was quite heartbreaking. Maybe not as tragic as the image of Taehyung standing in this room in wet clothes, but still quite heartbreaking. So much so that instead of looking for candles, Jungkook sat down on a small table by the couch, just in front of the boy. For a moment longer he looked at his mixed expression and with each passing second he regretted fighting with him more and more. He felt guilty. He was partially a reason why Taehyung acted like this.  

Jungkook watched his long fingers still pulling his hair and for a split second, he wanted to put his hand on top of Taehyung’s just so he could stop torturing himself like this. In the end, he decided it would only make things worse so he finally gave up and stuck to mindless staring at the boy.

Whatever was tormenting Taehyung had its roots somewhere deeper. There was no point in arguing any longer with the boy who rejected all rational arguments. On the other hand, Jungkook couldn’t just leave it like this. He had to do something to calm Taehyung down. JK sighed and decided he had to try.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I really mean it.”

Jungkook felt that the apology was much needed in this situation. Even if he didn’t do anything overly wrong, he still felt guilty. He had to do something to make the boy feel better. JK couldn’t stand watching him being hurt like this. He hoped that maybe his apology would be enough to make the boy look at him but Taehyung sat still; as if he didn’t even hear Jungkook’s words.

“If it’s frustrating for me, I can’t even imagine how frustrating it must be for you, a-and…” Jungkook tried once again but to no avail. “Gosh, I don’t even know what to say.”

JK got lost in his thoughts and words, but he could bet Taehyung had it even worse. At this point, Jungkook even thought there was no way of reaching the boy. He seemed to be completely possessed by his demons and had no strength left to fight them off alone.

That’s why Jungkook wanted to help him. Nobody should face the darkness alone.

“I-I don’t know how you feel about yourself but… Maybe if… Maybe if I turn out to be the one who likes you, you will be able to like yourself as well, hmm?” 

The last words Taehyung shouted in anger got stuck in Jungkook’s mind. He couldn’t understand what the boy meant by that: why he claimed to be such a horrible person and why he believed no one would ever like him. Clearly, he didn’t mean his walking perfection persona—this one was worshiped by everyone. He was talking about his true self—the one nobody knew besides Taehyung.

There was something about him, something he was mortally afraid to show others, something he hated about himself, enough to resent anybody who claimed otherwise. Enough to refuse to believe in self-love ideology, enough to avoid others, enough to create a picture-perfect image of a schoolboy who is loved by everyone. Enough to make him try and give up on himself twice.

Even though Jungkook wasn’t fond of the boy the moment they met and at that time he wouldn’t like to befriend him at all, now their relationship was vastly different. JK could see himself taking a liking to the boy or at least to that side he still hid from the others. Maybe he needed that one true friend who would like him regardless of what Taehyung thought of himself. Someone he could be comfortable with. Someone who would not judge him for who he was. Someone who knew self-love wasn’t just a bullshit ideology boosted around by therapists but a way of finding the balance within themselves.

“You know, somebody has to show you it is possible to like that side of you,” Jungkook added hoping it would finally make the boy talk.

Taehyung slowly untangled his hands from his hair leaving it quite ruffled but he didn’t really bother. He rested his hands on his knees and locked his gaze somewhere on the floor, just as if he was afraid to look up. It wasn’t a promising view but it was much better than the one JK had seen just a moment before.

The boy was hesitant for a second but in the end, he simply sniffed and said rather grimly, “You won't like me. You shouldn't like me.”

“Let me be the judge of that, okay?”

In the end, it should be Jungkook’s judgment if he liked the boy or not. No matter what Taehyung claimed to be JK wanted to find out for himself. He always preferred to learn from his mistakes rather than avoid challenges. And even now he was determined to take the risk, especially when he had a feeling that this time it wasn’t a mistake. On the contrary, it was the right thing to do.

Too bad Taehyung didn't see it that way as well. The boy finally lifted his head, but only to shake it decisively, rejecting Jungkook's offer.

“It's not about that. You don't understand—”

“Yeah. I don't understand. So either help me understand or talk to somebody who will help you find the solution if it's too hard for you to do it alone.”

“I'm just destined to be like that, okay?” Taehyung raised his voice a little. He seemed annoyed and clearly didn't want to talk about it further. “There is no solution for it. Or maybe there is one. Was one.”

“It is never the solution.”

Jungkook said firmly so the boy could remember it once and for all. What Taehyung wanted to do twice was never a solution and should never be the one. It didn't solve the problem; only created a new one. And Jungkook really wanted the boy to finally understand it. 

So despite all his assurances that he would never go to that damn bridge ever again, Jungkook wished Taehyung to understand he should never have been there in the first place; should have never thought about the jump as a solution. Understanding this was the key to solving the problem differently. And although Jungkook knew how difficult it was to come to such a conclusion, he knew that it was the only right way.

“It should never be a solution,” he repeated. “Because at one point you find yourself one step from going down. And you feel like shit. Your heart aches, your body aches, and at that moment it doesn't matter if the fall will hurt as well. If nobody stopped you to this point, then nobody probably would care after you do it. Life will go on with one less problem in it. In the end, if destiny led you to this point, it was probably right. Somebody up there must have planned it and they're never wrong.”

“And as you're about to do the final step it hits you. It is impossible to live that long and not have at least one person who would care. To not have one good memory, one good place, item, or song, which made you feel human. Made you feel happy. Made you feel loved. It can't be that bad. And if you still think it is, you haven't tried hard enough to find these things.”

“Because it's impossible that nothing or nobody like this exists. You have to leave something behind, right? The thought itself is more scary than the whole jump. The fear of being completely forgotten. If the jump is your scream for attention and nobody will hear it then what's the point?”

Jungkook asked but never expected to hear the answer to his question. He also didn’t expect to make such a long and detailed confession. How did it happen? He started talking about this stupid solution and it just felt natural to continue about the feelings accompanying such events. Somehow he got emotional and when his foolish mind got caught in this one memory he couldn’t let go of it. JK spoke his heart out and when he finally realized what he had said, he immediately regretted it.

They were supposed to talk about Taehyung and his story. So how the hell did Jungkook end up talking about himself?

The room fell death silent. If it wasn’t for the storm outside the window Jungkook would surely hear his heartbeat. He could feel his heart racing with each passing second when the weight of his words was still hanging in the air. They felt heavier than the heated conversation they just had but in some way, they were evenly tragic. Maybe that is why Jungkook felt so bad about saying them at loud.

He felt so ashamed, so embarrassed, so stupid. He promised to keep it to himself, to never share something like this with anybody. And he did the complete opposite. He wanted to disappear. To stand up and walk away. Maybe even go outside in this hellish rain just not to think about his words; not go back to where his mind used to be at that time. Not to show weakness in front of the boy.

B-but he was all right lately. He has already left everything behind; it was all in the past, buried seven meters below together with all the memories from Atlanta. JK was afraid that taking care of the boy might unlock some of the doors but he was confident enough to believe he would be able to help Taehyung without making this story about himself. That maybe out of so many people he would be the one who can understand him and his feelings. 

That’s why he stayed.

If his confession, one of the words he has just said, was enough for Taehyung to rethink his behavior it was worth trying. Maybe now the boy would finally listen to him instead of ignoring his words and discrediting all his efforts. Maybe he would understand why jumping off the bridge wasn’t a solution. Maybe he would trust him even more.

JK wanted to know the boy’s reaction but somehow he still wasn’t brave enough to do it. Taehyung surely heard him loud and clear; there was no mistake that the boy also understood the words well. Only a complete moron wouldn’t connect the dots and Taehyung wasn’t a one—or at least not in this case.  

Jungkook stared at his hands which were tangled tightly; so much so that even in the dark his knuckles were pale white. He must have held them like this from the beginning of his confession but he didn’t even notice. But he had no intention of untangling them yet. Despite still feeling quite uncomfortable, the gesture gave him some confidence. Enough to finally look up. 

It was dark, but JK felt Taehyung’s attentive gaze on him. He breathed slowly and seemed much calmer than before. That was promising but strangely alarming at this point. He bit his lip uncertainly as if he was still processing all the words he had just heard. Something was clearly running on his mind—no wonder, Jungkook’s head was spinning as well. For a moment he seemed to be fighting with himself if he should speak up or not, to finally make up his mind.

Taehyung tilted his head a little to get a better look at Jungkook and whispered in his low voice, “I thought there were no bridges in Atlanta.”

JK held the boy’s gaze for a long time. And he could have given up it at any time; look away, walk away, ignore this statement, not confirm or deny it in any way. But he knew what Taehyung meant by that. It only ensured Jungkook the boy understood the message behind his words. He knew where they came from. What they really meant.

Jungkook didn’t know if it was better to leave Taehyung’s words hanging like this but it most definitely was the easier way. Maybe that’s why all his brain cells shouted at him at once to just leave it and focus on helping the boy. Yet it was once again his body that betrayed him. So before he could even think of biting his tongue, he couldn’t help and added under his breath.

“But there are quite many high buildings.”

Just as he said it, he immediately stood up and speeded toward the cupboard. He started checking all the cabinets and drawers just to focus on anything but the second part of his confession. JK didn't know if the boy reacted to his words in any way. He wasn’t even sure if the boy heard him at all. His voice was barely audible and it was possible that Jungkook didn’t say them out loud—only in his mind. Actually, it would have been better like this.

He shouldn’t have said it. He really shouldn’t have said this. He regretted it so much that he had to change the subject as fast as possible. He could feel the lump in his throat growing with each second and he couldn’t let it take control of his voice, or worse—make him cry. So he quickly cleared his throat and added just before his voice could break.

“I must have hidden some candles here. There's always a blackout in this area when the storm comes.”

Jungkook tried to explain his sudden behavior and his desperate search through all the furniture in the living room. It was really dark, and as a kid, he remembered how every time the electricity went out in the apartment he was forced to do the homework using the dim light of the candles. That is why his mother kept a lot of them hidden in different drawers; just in case. JK thought they had fixed or improved the system after a few years but apparently, nothing has changed.

He could have sworn he saw candles somewhere in the drawer closest to the TV but they weren’t there. Finding them in complete darkness wasn’t an easy task but was a guarantee of success; on the contrary, the lighter wasn’t that hard to find. Jungkook had lots of them hidden in the pockets of all his pants, hoodies, and jackets.

JK finally found one fairly small candle, not the one he was looking for, but it had to suffice for now. The rest he could do later with the help of the lighter of his phone (although first, he had to find his mobile). He quickly placed the candle on the table, in the exact place he had been sitting just a moment ago, and lit it immediately. The flame didn’t give much light, but it was enough to walk around the dark room without bumping into walls.

He didn't dare to look at Taehyung yet, especially not now when the pale light of the candle was falling on his face. He did not want to check his reaction or see his expression, even though he could bet it was probably the usual aristocratic-indifferent one. Maybe in this way, JK wanted to trick himself into thinking he didn’t say the last sentence. That Taehyung didn’t hear it at all.

And even though Jungkook still wanted to know something more about Taehyung’s problem, it was better to call it a night right now. He had a feeling there was no going back to their earlier conversation without touching on what he had just said.

“You can stay in my bedroom today,” JK suggested. “I still have some things to do and I don't want to disturb you if you're tired. I'll just sleep here."

Jungkook didn't mind sleeping on the couch—he did it more often than he’d like to admit so one more night wouldn’t make a difference. He already knew he would have problems sleeping and would be forced to fill the night with worthless activities. So he decided it would be easier to send the boy back to his room than to wander around the living room and wake him up each time.

“If you need anything, just take it. No need to ask.”

He added just in case the boy needed some clothes, food, or other things. He was willing to share everything he had in his apartment, even his banana milk, however, JK hoped it wouldn’t come to such drastic measures. Or maybe Jungkook said it just to avoid the conversation and any further problematic questions.

“Do you have more candles?” Taehyung asked suddenly which subconsciously made Jungkook finally look at him. 

The boy had already stood up and held his leather notebook tightly in his right hand, looking as if he was ready to go outside at any given moment. Just as Jungkook thought, Taehyung’s expression was rather calm, but apart from this fake indifference there was also a lot of tiredness and weariness in his gaze. Well, the conversation couldn’t have been easy for him.  

Most importantly, Taehyung wasn’t eyeing him curiously, wanting to know something more about JK’s weird behavior or his previous confession. That was a huge relief. Maybe the boy was too tired to ask, maybe he didn’t want to, or maybe (the best scenario for Jungkook), he really didn’t heat it properly.  

JK got caught in these thoughts so much that he almost forgot about the boy’s request.

“Ah, r-right, right.” JK shook his head. “I'll look for some if you need them.”

Taehyung only nodded timidly, took the lit candle from the table, and headed to the kitchen. He sat in the same place as before and once again focused on his textbooks—they were still spread across the counter. He wanted to study again, no wonder he needed more candles; the light from this small one wasn’t enough. Still, just a few moments later Taehyung was already writing something down and biting his pen.

The boy looked just the same as the moment he entered Jungkook’s apartment and decided to study in the kitchen. Just as if this heated conversation between them had never happened. How Taehyung could be so calm right now was beyond JK’s imagination. But Jungkook also knew the boy kept all his emotions hidden somewhere deep inside. He was an amazing actor and if he spent all his life caging these feelings within him, no wonder he managed to just switch them off just now.

Jungkook just hoped it wouldn’t last forever. 

Chapter Text

Jungkook tossed and turned half of the night but couldn't fall asleep at all. With every passing hour, he was getting more and more tired but all his body could grant him were two mere fifteen-minute naps. 

The couch, which had always been comfortable, turned out to be a bit hard tonight. The blanket wasn't as warm as it used to be. The silent ticking of the clock irritated him for no particular reason. His favorite pillow still smelled like his shampoo since the last time Taehyung slept on it, and JK got distracted by its intense scent. He never thought he could hate a certain smell and yet, when the clock struck three in the morning, he couldn't stand all of it and finally got up from the couch.

For a few minutes he was pacing impatiently around the room but he knew it wouldn’t help him. There was only one cure for his insomnia, though quite harmful for his body—a few cigarettes on a cold night on his balcony. That’s what he has been doing the past two weeks each time his stupid mind deprived him of sleep.

Though JK felt that today nothing would really help him. 

He wondered if Taehyung had the same. Was he also mindlessly staring at the ceiling of his bedroom, wishing for a sleeping salvation? Jungkook was tempted to peek into the room to see what was happening with the boy, but he didn't dare. If somehow he managed to fall asleep, JK didn't want to wake him up. Sleep was the best remedy, and if Jungkook couldn't get it, then at least Taehyung should. 

The boy studied in silence for the rest of the evening until the last of the candles burned out. In the end, JK found four of them in one of the drawers but sadly they were all he had. So when the darkness fell on the room for good, Taehyung discreetly excused himself and disappeared into his bedroom. Jungkook managed to mutter a quiet goodnight but the boy didn’t bother to answer.

From that moment on, Jungkook felt like he was the only person in his apartment. As if Taehyung wasn't even there. As if he in fact turned into a ghost that haunted him through all these sleepless nights.

Jungkook tried to unlock his phone but unfortunately, the battery was low. He couldn’t even charge it properly because still there was no electricity. But since it wasn't raining anymore, the night became a little bit brighter, making the room less dark than when he lay down for the first time. Nevertheless, JK hoped everything would return to normal in the morning. Otherwise, the banana milk in the fridge would go bad, and he wouldn't be able to handle that.

Jungkook sighed and slowly opened the balcony doors. The area wasn't as big as the terraces on the rooftop apartments, but it was big enough to fit two chairs and a small table. It created the best place for a morning cigarette with some coffee or, as it has been happening lately, a nightly cigarette with banana milk. Whatever it was, Jungkook simply liked this place. Maybe even more than the couch and his TV.

He remembered how he used to eat breakfast here when his mother prepared him delicious pancakes with sour cream and some fruit. How together with Jimin pretended to do their homework here just so they could go and play outside. How he helped his mother every time she watered her favorite plants or had to replant the old ones. She created a beautiful small garden on this balcony but unfortunately, none of these flowers were still here.

Now it was a simple grey balcony. The only color present here was Jungkook’s pack of cigarettes lying on the table together with a glass ashtray.

Jungkook didn’t want to reminisce about those times; he preferred to let the past be past—especially today. So he quickly shook his head and hastily sat down on his favorite chair.  

Of course, he was the only person sitting outside at that hour. It wasn't raining anymore, but the effects of a huge storm hitting the neighborhood were clearly visible: flooded streets, wet cars, and a few broken branches. The air still had this pleasant scent of rain which made it a little chilly out there. Well, it still was quite warm but JK knew he would quickly get cold like this if he spent some time on the balcony.

That's why he regretted not wearing a hoodie. But there was nothing he could do about it—all his clothes were in the bedroom where Taehyung was still sleeping. He had no intention of disturbing the boy so the only way out was to smoke one or two cigarettes at best and come back under the blanket on the couch. Preferably just before he would catch a cold.

So he wasted no time and quickly lit the first cigarette. He struggled a little with a lighter—the small inconvenience seemed like a joke of faith but he managed to overcome it. Whatever it was, JK ignored it and savored the bitter taste of the cigarette.

There was something about it that calmed him down but at the same time made him equally uneasy. Maybe it was the reason why he liked smoking so much: that mystery that accompanied every breath he took. It was like a game for him. Would he feel better after the next one? Or would it only get worse? He never knew that’s why he kept playing.

And while he was smoking and looking at the night landscape, he heard a quiet crack of the balcony door. It made him turn to the source of the sound but there could be no mistake who had made it. Of course, there was only one possibility, so he wasn't surprised to see Taehyung standing in the doorway. The only thing that surprised JK a bit was one of his favorite purple hoodies on the boy. It suited him and in such weather conditions it was a rather smart choice so Jungkook didn't mind. Besides, it meant that Taehyung followed his advice and took whatever he needed freely, just as JK told him. 

Funny enough he had to choose this particular hoodie. Jungkook wore it through the whole last weekend while he was mindlessly smoking on the balcony and worrying if Taehyung would show up at school on Monday. He would have probably worn in by now if he hadn't left it on the chair just beside the bed. The boy must have grabbed a piece of clothing which was the closest, though JK thought he would take something fresh out of his closet. 

Now the purple hoodie would not only smell like Jungkook and cigarettes but also like Taehyung. A very particular mix of scents indeed.

The boy shyly joined him on the balcony and silently sat down on the other chair. He pulled his purple hoodie over his forehead and at this moment JK no longer knew which was covering his eyes more: the hood or his curly strands which had come out under the thick fabric. But as usual, Taehyung didn't seem to be bothered by such a mere inconvenience and simply took out his pack of cigarettes. 

It was the pack of these horrible smelly ones they were arguing over during the party. JK could easily recognize the brand as the pack lay in his kitchen for quite a time, giving him all chances to resent the boy's behavior. But why the boy chose to intoxicate himself with these horrible ones was still a mystery for Jungkook. With his royal image one could have thought, he'd choose a more expensive brand. Yet it was JK who spent more money on the cigarettes. 

Jungkook decided to ask him about it one day. He highly doubted the boy even liked them. Probably only the oldest and most experienced sailors were able to smoke that shit. They didn’t suit Taehyung who was still a high schooler—he shouldn’t intoxicate his young body that much. Well, that was quite rich coming from Jungkook but he couldn’t help it, he was just curious as a fellow smoker.

However, he could wait a little for an answer—it wasn't the most important thing right now. So Jungkook simply put his lighter on the table and discreetly slid it toward the boy.

Taehyung didn't hesitate for too long and grabbed the lighter. Seconds later he lit his cigarette without any problem and inhaled, just to puff out a small cloud of suffocating smoke. JK has never thought he would dislike the smell of cigarettes but this time he was close to covering his nose. It made him so dizzy that he had to stop himself from gaging.

Gosh. Is it how the non-smoking people feel? he thought. Disgusting.

However, he knew that contrary to others, he'd get used to the smoke quite fast. So he simply endured the smell for a little bit longer and focused solely on the taste of his own cigarette—it was way better. 

But he also focused on Taehyung's movements. 

It was the first time JK saw him smoking and he was amazed by how aristocratic he looked while doing it. The boy could sit here in his hoodie, looking like a random dude on the balcony, yet the way he smoked reminded him of all these black-and-white movies from the twenties. When the finest men in town dressed in tuxedos sat in the fancy restaurant and talked business while having a smoke. Hell, even the way he held the cigarette was so dignified. How did he do that?

Maybe the part of this walking perfection image he mastered through the years, was actually a part of true Kim Taehyung? Seemed like it might be true. However, there was only one way to find out but the boy wasn't quite eager to cooperate.

So JK decided they could sit in silence for a little bit longer. The last conversation they had either ended with a heated argument or with an unexpected confession. Maybe that is why it was hard to tell how it would end up now. He would like to avoid another quarrel, especially on the balcony where everybody could hear them. However, JK couldn't see them having a small talk about the weather or their mutual insomnia either. Mindless chit-chats were of no use here—silence seemed to be the best option for now. Jungkook could try and come back to the heavy topics in the morning when they would both have clear minds, ready to think properly. 

So they sat in silence, intoxicating themselves with their presence and with the heavy fumes. And for Jungkook, it was a strangely pleasing feeling.

They both finished their first cigarettes and immediately went on with another one, passing the lighter between them as if they were the best smoking buddies for years. Jungkook wondered if Taehyung also smoked each time he had trouble sleeping. If so maybe they had more things in common than JK previously thought. Maybe they should become the smoking buddies after all?

Jungkook admired the night landscape of his city, checking what was happening with the boy from time to time. Taehyung seemed to be doing exactly the same thing, however, his gaze was mostly focused on the horizon. Or more precisely on the bridge which was clearly visible from Jungkook's balcony.

It wasn’t far away; only the general outline of the bridge was visible but at this time of the night it was the brightest point of the landscape. The electricity in that area was working more than fine, including all the lanterns on the bridge. Jungkook wasn’t overly happy about it. Maybe if the lanterns weren't on, Taehyung wouldn't be staring at that damn bridge all the time.

The boy seemed to be in some kind of trance where he couldn’t look back from that image, not even for a while. It was hard for JK to determine his expression, still hidden somewhere behind the boy’s hair and a purple hoodie, but he could bet it was dangerously close to this damn longing. Just as if Taehyung was still regretting that his perfect plan wasn’t executed as perfectly. As if he still wanted to come back to this bridge.

Jungkook could easily get mad at him; after everything that has been said between them, he shouldn’t act like this, especially not in front of JK. Not after he told him that this way shouldn’t be a solution and never really is. However, this time Jungkook had a feeling that the reason for this mindless staring was quite different.

And it made him wonder what was so special about this bridge. What was so important about this place for a boy to act like this? Why did he choose this place out of so many in the city? And why he was still admiring it so much? Was it a part of the puzzle? Part of the boy’s history? A certain memory of his? What was the deal here?

“Why this bridge?” Jungkook asked, and only after a second did he realize he voiced out his thoughts.

He was supposed to leave sensitive topics for the morning or maybe even for some other time, but somehow when he saw Taehyung staring mindlessly at this damn bridge he couldn’t stop himself. 

Jungkook didn't know what was on the boy's mind but it couldn't be anything even remotely good, judging by his empty gaze. It only made JK even more curious about what the boy saw in that bridge. No matter how long Jungkook started at the same place as the boy, he couldn’t figure out the answer.

Place was one thing, but the way Taehyung wanted to do it was also quite strange. Someone so royalty-coded should have gone for something more sophisticated than throwing himself from the bridge in that horrible weather. If Taehyung had been planning this moment for years, he clearly could have come up with a better plan. And if he didn't want to hurt anybody or make a huge deal about his leaving, then the jump was the least discreet way to do it.

Jumpers were the most desperate ones, caught in the moment, show stealers, balancing on the edge between life and death. Taehyung was none of these cases, yet there must have been some kind of reason hidden behind his behavior.

Jungkook knew he might not get the answer to his question, well, to be honest, he was more than sure he wouldn't get the answer. Getting any information out of the boy was quite tiering and barely doable, especially when the information was such a personal one. The only way to make him confess was to make him angry or emotional, and the calm atmosphere on the balcony was far from either of these two.

However, quite surprisingly, Taehyung lowered his hand with a cigarette and let it smoke out itself for a little while. He sighed heavily, still not taking his eyes off the bridge, and added in his low voice.

“Let’s say this place has a personal value.”

Personal value was such a general saying—it could have meant absolutely everything. Yet it was somehow more suited to the boy than a momentary weakness. The place, the rain, and even the clothes, it was all connected in the form of something personal for the boy.

However, the only thing that came to JK's mind while thinking about this bridge was those damn padlocks. The whole city associated the bridge with love and commitment, couples came here during sunny days to keep their love locked on the steel structure of the bridge. It was a lovely place so why would a person want to end their life here? There were a few different bridges to choose from.

Nothing about the boy suggested it was a tragic love story that must have had its final on the bridge of lovers. For a person who never wanted anyone by his side, who hid his true self from others, it was a rather unlikely scenario. That's why Jungkook had to ask once more.

“Yeah, but why this one? It doesn’t seem like an unrequited love issue.”

“Because it isn’t,” Taehyung answered immediately and shrugged. He didn't need a moment to think or put his thoughts into words. The answer was quite simple and JK was taken by surprise by how easy it was for the boy to admit that.

However, after a while, Taehyung slowly shook his head as if he wasn't so sure anymore. As if he needed some time to rethink his previous words and make a better judgment. In the end, he sighed once again and took the last taste of his cigarette.

“Or maybe in some way it is.”

He said this in a very indifferent way and with a similar manner he leaned over the table to put out his cigarette in the ashtray. After that he adjusted his hoodie to cover his forehead even more, crossed his arms on his chest, and with a single sniff, he once again locked his gaze on the bridge.

The gesture easily marked the end of the conversation, even though Jungkook could hardly name it a conversation. He had a feeling that whatever made Taehyung speak his heart just now, would be long gone the moment JK asked the next question. So these few honest words should be enough for now. They were already quite important, so Jungkook was glad he was able to know at least this much.

But he wanted to know something more so badly.

For Jungkook, Taehyung was a great mystery put into a shiny box and wrapped with a sparkly ribbon. Oh, how JK wished he could just pull the golden material so the package would unpack itself and reveal all the important information. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy. It felt like the box was locked with the metal chains and the only person who was supposed to have the right key had already thrown it away.

So what Jungkook should do to find that key? He didn’t know where to start, where to look for it. There was a high probability even Taehyung didn’t know where he left it. So the only option was to find a different way to open it. Jungkook wasn’t overly proud about it but there were a few locks he managed to open without a key, simply by picking them. Maybe that was also a way to get to Taehyung—in a quite illegal way.

Jungkook promised himself not to touch any sensitive topics, but as he had already done, he decided not to hold back anymore. He knew Taehyung wouldn’t say a word, but maybe for the better. It was his time to speak.

"I know you don't want others to know you but... I'd like to try,” he started gently.

He wanted his words to slowly reach the boy, so he could think them through at his own pace. That’s why he chose them carefully and made sure his voice was calm enough to make him focused and interested in what he was about to say. But most importantly, he wanted to sound like a carrying friend as JK recon it was what Taehyung missed the most.

And there was no lie in his words either. He really wanted to know Taehyung—the real Taehyung. Whatever he was hiding couldn’t be that bad to make him hate himself so much. If he needed somebody who could like him for who he really was, JK was ready to risk it and find that one thing they could both like about the boy. Besides, at that point, there was no way back. He felt committed and there was no way they could break this weird bond created between them that evening on the bridge. Taehyung must have known about it as well.

"It doesn't have to be now and you don't have to tell me all the details,” JK continued. “You can keep all the reasons, emotions, and your story to yourself if confessing hurts you that much. I don’t want you to feel worse than you already feel."

Each time Taehyung spoke about his past he looked as if he was in physical pain. The image of the boy sitting on his couch, clutching his hair with all his strength was quite heartbreaking and JK couldn't even imagine how hard it was for Taehyung. Opening up about his problem might have been the most challenging part for him—it always was.

“We can sit in silence for as long as you want if it means you won’t get that stupid idea ever again but… it doesn’t have to be like this.”

Jungkook stopped for a second to get another taste of his cigarette. He needed some of it if he was about to continue. He could also bet that Taehyung would have done the same if he hadn’t put his cigarette down a few moments ago.

“I just want you to know that I... I do understand some of your feelings. And if you help me understand the rest, we can find a way out together. It's easier when you have somebody to lean on.”

Maybe it was enough for the boy to know that he had someone close who knew exactly how he felt. That he wasn’t alone in all of this. They didn't have to talk for now. JK just wanted the boy not to lose the will to fight for a better tomorrow. Not to give up as easily as he wanted to do on the bridge. If the boy already admitted that he trusted him more than himself, he should also trust him on these words.  

Well, the best way was to make the boy finally see somebody qualified for this job, someone who could help him professionally. However, if the boy was reluctant to see the therapist, Jungkook was willing to be that one person whom he could confide in. He was scared as hell: scared of the responsibility and scared of what he might hear from the boy. He really meant it when he said he didn’t ask to be the savior, that being involuntarily involved sucked beyond comparison, that he was tired of all these sleepless nights. He didn’t need another problem in his life.

But he also knew how it was to go through this hell alone. That is why he couldn’t let Taehyung follow in his footsteps.

Taehyung listened to all these words carefully but his expression was once again quite indifferent. So for a moment, JK thought he might have overstepped a little with this statement, but after a while, he decided it wasn’t anything he hadn’t said before. After all, he promised that he would hear Taehyung out but only when the boy starts thinking about the future without regretting the missed shot on the bridge.

What Jungkook said just now was merely a reminder of such a promise. And to prove they weren’t only the empty words, JK had to promise Taehyung one more thing.

“That's why you can come here every time it rains, whether it is a small drizzle or the biggest of storms. Or at any time you really like. If you need some space to learn, space to sleep through the whole day, or just a safe space you want to hide in. There’s always a pack of cigarettes on the balcony, some banana milk in the fridge, and occasionally me if you want to talk.”

It was a big commitment, but if Taehyung didn't trust anyone else, not even himself, and somehow he decided to trust Jungkook, he had no other choice. There was quite high a possibility the boy would ask him to spend a night at his house once again when the rain comes, that is why he wanted to be the first one to agree, even before Taehyung could think about it himself.

He didn't mind the occasional visitor in his house if it was a way to help the boy. Maybe it was also a way to make him slowly confess to some of the things if he felt comfortable in this surrounding. Taehyung had already told him this place felt more like home to him—whatever it meant, it might be a partial solution to his problem.

That’s why Jungkook impatiently waited for the boy’s reaction. He doubted Taehyung would say anything but maybe after so many honest words, he would change his mind and finally speak up. However, after all these promises and confessions, Taehyung only shyly bit his lip and gently nodded. Not a second had passed and he was already looking away, all to avoid Jungkook’s attentive gaze.  

This was not what JK expected but in fact, he couldn’t have expected anything. All things Taehyung did were quite chaotic and unexpected, no wonder this time he once again acted like this. What was left for Jungkook was to focus on his cigarette and wait, even if none of the comments were coming. He did his part. He stated his case and he was proud of his words; JK really meant what he said, regardless of whether the boy accepted his offer or not. Now it was Taehyung’s turn. And Jungkook hoped he wouldn’t wait for it forever.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes until Jungkook finished his cigarette. He noticed that Taehyung was rubbing his hands from time to time, trying to heat them against the cold of the night. Even his lips turned blue a little, and if it was that visible in the dark, they must have been blue for real. The boy got cold even if he was wearing his hoodie, no wonder a second later he simply stood up and went toward the living room.

It was even worse for Jungkook who was dressed in a simple black T-shirt and shorts. He could feel his hand trembling each time he tried to taste his cigarette. But he also knew he needed at least one more cigarette to calm down enough to try and get some sleep. He could bring the blanket with him on the balcony but he had made one rule in his household: not to smoke inside. So it wouldn’t make sense to bring the blanket outside just to make it smell like cigarettes. That’s why he had to endure the cold for a little longer.

He also accepted the fact he was about to be left alone on the balcony without any word of recognition. As if Jungkook hasn’t said anything for the past twenty minutes. Just like this. However, Taehyung suddenly stopped in the doorway, clearly hesitating if he should go inside or not. That quick fight within himself lasted a moment until the boy finally looked at Jungkook.  

“Is my brother right?” he asked suddenly with a really uncertain voice. “Do you really know my brother is right?”

It took Jungkook a moment to understand what the question was referring to. Only after a while did he realize that Taehyung had returned to their previous argument. It was about self-love that Taehyung disliked so much and couldn't understand why Jin claimed it was so important. The moment when he didn’t want to believe either Jungkook or the experts and called them out for believing in this bullshit.

JK didn’t know why the boy suddenly brought this topic up. Jungkook still wasn’t an expert in that field but maybe after his confession he kind of became one in Taehyung’s eyes. After all, if at one point in life they had a similar problem, Jungkook in fact knew the answer.

Although the self-love part didn't have a huge impact on Jungkook and his story, he had a feeling that it played a key role in Taehyung’s case. Therefore, when the boy looked at him expectantly, JK slowly blinked with a small nod, confirming his words.

Taehyung shook his head as if he expected the answer to be completely different; preferably more suited to his beliefs. And that was the most expressive he was during their meeting on the balcony which was quite a fascinating phenomenon for Jungkook. Same as the small gulp he did a second after he bit his lip so hard, that Jungkook expected to see some blood on it. But before he could take a better look at the boy’s lips, Taehyung took a step inside.

“Don’t cry a lot,” Jungkook said just before the boy completely disappeared into the room.

Taehyung could hide under his bangs and hood, but Jungkook would have to be completely blind not to notice the boy's slightly swollen and red eyes. And although this time he didn't hear him sobbing through the wall, he knew that at some point the boy's tears wetted his bedsheets.

And he was not wrong—the boy's confused reaction only confirmed it. Well, Jungkook would be quite surprised if he wasn't right. Maybe Taehyung was an excellent actor but he couldn’t pretend all the time. At some point, he had to rest and release all the emotions he kept hidden throughout the day. And there was no better time for that than the middle of a lonely night.

Crying like that was needed from time to time, and if it really helped, he couldn't stop the boy from doing it. But he hoped he wouldn't cry all night—that would be too much. 

Taehyung hesitated for a second but in the end, he timidly nodded. However, just after that, Jungkook could also hear a small sniff, which suggested that the boy wouldn't really follow the advice tonight. He probably got teary just now, no wonder a second later he finally went inside. There was no point in hiding his tears, but Jungkook let him do this. They were too painful to watch for both of them.

That’s why Jungkook took out one more cigarette from his pack and lit it quickly. He tried to distract himself with the bitter taste and the night landscape of the city. But all he could look at was that damn bridge shining so brightly on the horizon.

Chapter Text

When Jungkook woke up in the morning, it was raining again. Maybe not as much as during yesterday's storm, but there was a thick fog hanging over the city, which quickly turned into another lazy fall. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was five minutes past seven. It meant Jungkook somehow managed to sleep over three hours without any interruptions. Cigarettes really did help him this time.

He got woken up just now with this horrible sound of the rain tapping on his windows. JK growled and timidly sat on the couch, still wrapped in the blanket; it wasn’t as cold as at night, so he immediately threw it over on the floor. Then he looked around his apartment trying to figure out if everything was still in place. The most important things were Taehyung’s shoes and bag, which indicated the boy hadn’t left yet. He had a terrible habit of vanishing in the mornings after serious talks. Fortunately this time, his belongings were still in the hall, so Jungkook didn’t have to worry so much.

Still, he was quite concerned and had to know what exactly was happening with the boy. At night he didn’t check up on him, afraid he would wake him up, but now the situation was quite different. In the end, it was another morning, and knowing how serious Taehyung was about school stuff, he most probably had already woken up to prepare himself for another tiring day. If he wanted to be on time for the first period, he would have to get ready just now.

It was crazy for JK to even think about school right now, but, as it was already proven, he and Taehyung were quite different. At least in this case.

Jungkook stood up and went straight to the door of his bedroom. He was a little hesitant to open them, but finally, he gently grabbed the handle and pushed forward. He didn’t quite know what to expect but he was happy to find Taehyung calmly sleeping in his bed.

The boy hugged the pillow tightly, but his body seemed relaxed. His chest rose and fell steadily, suggesting he had finally found some peace. Sleep guaranteed him a moment of oblivion and escape from all bad emotions and thoughts; it freed him from tears and simply made him feel better, although only seemingly. Nevertheless, sleep was everything Taehyung needed right now and Jungkook would have to be completely heartless to wake him up now.

So he slowly backed out of the room and closed the door behind him. Only then did he allow to take a deep breath and even longer exhale. The image of the boy sleeping peacefully was so hopeful, that Jungkook couldn’t help but smile a little. Things finally started to fall into place. Or so he hoped.

The question remained, what Jungkook was supposed to do now? Surely he didn’t want to go to school; apart from classes he wanted to avoid at any given time really, he also couldn’t leave the boy alone for so long. He didn’t know how much longer Taehyung would be asleep, but JK hoped it would be at least as long as it rains.

Trying to catch some more sleep on the couch was of no use either. Jungkook felt as if these few hours of sleep he managed to get were all he could wish for in these conditions. He was glad that he had this much. Under such circumstances, it was a quite lot. Besides JK didn’t want to test his luck like this. If a few minutes of sleep right now meant he would get none the following night, he would gladly abandon any further tries today.  

But he was so horribly tired. He could feel his eyes closing as he probably got the darkest marks possible just underneath them. His body fell sore, his head hurting a little from the lack of sleep. One thing that was functioning properly was surprisingly his stomach. He was hungry and it was a rarity whenever he was worried or tired. So he decided to make himself a tasty breakfast. Maybe it was a key to regaining some energy if sleep wasn’t available.

He opened the fridge and only then did he remember he used all the ingredients for yesterday’s dinner. There was nothing of use there, besides banana milk of course. JK sighed and closed the door rather resignedly. He had to go shopping.

Going anywhere in this weather wasn’t an ideal morning plan for him but he had no other choice. He was incredibly hungry and if Taehyung woke up soon, he most likely would be hungry as well. Jungkook should act as a true host and make him some breakfast, especially when he knew the boy hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday.

The closest shop was down the street—it was a ten-minute walk, so Jungkook wasted no time. All his hoodies were still hidden in the closet in his bedroom, so he decided to make a quick jog to the shop. Maybe he needed to work out a little to get rid of the tiredness. It wasn’t such a bad idea, besides, the steady jog would keep him remotely warm in this weather, so Jungkook liked that idea even more.

He quickly changed into sporty clothes; fortunately, his basketball bag was still in the living room so he could use his team’s jersey and a spare T-shirt. He put a few dollars in his pocket, grabbed his phone, and quickly ran downstairs. He locked the apartment behind him, which basically guaranteed that Taehyung wouldn't leave while he was gone. The boy would have to search the entire house for spare keys, and JK wasn’t sure if he even got ones.

Jungkook took his standard route—the one he used to do the morning jogging from time to time—although he modified it slightly just to avoid running next to that damn bridge. Especially in this weather.

After half an hour he finally reached the local shop. He liked shopping here; the place wasn’t big but it had all the necessities and his favorite brand of banana milk. Jungkook remembered its owner from his childhood; she always gave him free lollipops each time he popped there with his mom. The lovely lady hasn’t changed at all, contrary to Jungkook, whom she almost didn’t recognize the first time he showed up in the shop after three years. Nevertheless, she was delighted to see him again. Maybe that’s why she kept the best eggs and the freshest fruit for him.

Just as today. JK returned home with some veggies, eggs, and loads of banana milk. Just in case he would stay at home the whole day.

When he was back in his apartment, it was almost eight o’clock. Everything seemed to be just as he had left it almost one hour ago but he had to be sure. He hastily kicked off his shoes, left his shopping bag on the kitchen counter, and tiptoed toward the bedroom. He put his hand on the doorknob and his heart in his mouth; he wouldn't forgive himself if something had happened to the boy when he wasn't at home.

He took a deep breath, bit his lip, and finally opened the door. The weight fell off his shoulders when he saw the boy sleeping in the same position as he had left him before.

Gosh, what a relief, he thought and smiled to himself.

Jungkook took the opportunity and stole a clean, white T-shirt from the closet, then left the boy alone in the room for the second time this morning.

In a way better mood than before he headed to the kitchen. He unpacked all the groceries, making sure the banana milk was stored properly on the highest shelf in the fridge. When everything was in its place, he felt an unpleasant shiver running down his spine. Well, he was still wearing some wet clothes after the morning jog in the rain, so the only reasonable conclusion was to take a hot shower. JK wasn’t a fan of them; he preferred the cold ones (especially while living in such hot a city as Austin), but as of lately, only the hot ones were of use to him.

So he quickly jumped under the shower and wanted to get this over with as fast as possible. And all that time he tried to avoid looking at the bottle of his shampoo. God damn it, he was supposed to change it. Its smell only reminded him of that one image. So before it could come to his mind once again, he quickly turned off the water and grabbed the towel to cover his eyes.

Nevertheless, when he came out of the bathroom he was way more relaxed than in the morning. He somehow regained some of the lost energy he thought was no longer within him. Surprisingly, it was still there.

He was vigorously drying his hair with a towel which made him go to the living room blindfolded. Jungkook rarely bothered to wear a T-shirt when he was home alone, maybe that is why he forgot to take it with him to the bathroom and left it on the couch. This time he couldn't walk around half-naked in his apartment—he had a quite important guest over. It would be quite awkward and uncomfortable for both of them, so he decided to make an exception for Taehyung and dress up for once.

He was about to reach the couch when he stopped somewhere in the middle of the living room. He got a weird feeling that something wasn’t right. Jungkook was good with hunches so he couldn’t ignore it. He even stopped drying his hair with the towel, just to be able to hear any strange noise around him. There was no suspicious sound but something was clearly off and it wasn’t only that cold after-shower shivers. JK had to know what it was.

He poked his head out from under the towel and immediately understood where this strange feeling came from. Jungkook stood almost face-to-face with Taehyung, who suddenly materialized in his living room.

The boy looked smaller than yesterday; just as if he had shrunken overnight. It was all because of his insecure posture. His arms were crossed over his stomach but not in this sassy and confident way; more as if he was trying to get a hold of himself so he would fall apart into thousand pieces. His long fingers almost dug deep holes in his elbows and JK was sure such touch had to leave some nasty marks.

Taehyung’s hair had a life of its own; his curly black strands were spread in all possible directions, making them look like a big fluffy ball. His slightly pink and puffy cheeks suggested a really good sleep, unlike his eyes, which were still swollen and red. Apparently, the boy didn't follow his suggestion and cried a lot.

Taehyung looked so different from his walking perfection image. It was so natural, so real, so normal; it looked cozy, cute, and boyish—so far away from the cold, formal, and statue-like handsome version of the boy JK saw so often at school. Maybe that is why it was so hard to look away from the boy. Or maybe it was because Jungkook found something so endearing about this image that he promised himself do to everything to see it one more time.

For a long moment, they didn't speak at all. They just stood in front of each other, exchanging one long and intense look. Taehyung was the first to look away but his gaze didn’t go that far; it stopped at Jungkook's right hand. Or more precisely on his tattoo which was now fully exposed.

Only then did JK realize that the black sports shorts were the only piece of clothing he had on. He was standing in front of the boy bare-chested, bare-footed, and still wet—something he wanted to avoid just a moment ago. Somehow he felt greatly embarrassed by being exposed like that, so he immediately threw the towel around his neck, hoping that it would cover his exposed torso to some extent. But this gesture didn't make Taehyung look away though. On the contrary. He was still intensely staring at his tattoo.

JK cleared his throat. "I see you're awake."

He didn't wait for an answer; he just pushed past the boy to reach the sofa and quickly grabbed his clothes. He rubbed his hair with a towel one last time and put a T-shirt on. Unfortunately, the material got rolled up somewhere around the shoulder blades and Jungkook had to struggle a lot just to wear it properly. He succeeded after a series of weird and quite uncomfortable movements and only then he turned to the boy.

Taehyung was still mindlessly staring at one point just in front of him, and only after a while, JK realized it was the same place his back was just a second ago. It was quite awkward (though Jungkook was probably the only one feeling like that) so he quickly threw the towel around his neck once again, trying to cover himself even more.

The sudden movement woke Taehyung up from this weird trance. He blinked twice and shook his head a little as if he was trying to get used to the new situation he found himself in.

"I am," he answered at last and slowly rubbed his eyes. "But I'd rather be still asleep."

"Then you should get some more sleep. I don't mind."

If this was what Taehyung needed, JK had no intention of stopping him. The boy could spend the whole day lying curled up in the warm sheets of his bed if it would help him in any way. Sleep truly was the best remedy—for now of course; Taehyung couldn’t avoid the problem forever and hide behind this pleasant but oblivious state. However, he deserved some of it after yesterday’s events.

Too bad the boy saw it differently.

"The only thing we should be doing now is going to school. We're so late." 

Taehyung glanced briefly at the clock on the wall to confirm it was way past the time they should be at school, and JK couldn't believe that was his biggest concern at this moment.

"How can you think about it right now?"

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

Taehyung answered with a question and seemed genuinely disappointed that he hadn't been woken up on time. And that pointy look mixed with a little pout made him look like a big baby. A quite particular, partly cute view, contrasting so much with the way he sounded. His morning voice was a little bit horse and a tone deeper than the usual one. But it was surprisingly pleasing as well. So much so that Jungkook almost forgot that he had to somehow continue this conversation.

"I didn't wake you up because you needed some sleep,” JK explained calmly. “You still do. You know it helps."

None of these stupid classes or school stuff was as valuable as some quality sleep. Not a single sane person would choose to go to school above staying at home in a cozy bed or wrapped in a blanket on the sofa. But as it turns out and as the boy has already proven to him multiple times, Taehyung liked to be the opposite of sane.

"Nothing really helps. I feel like shit anyway, so we may as well go to school."

"Don't be like that…”

Jungkook tried to stop this before the boy’s mind could travel to some dangerous and dark places, although it probably had already happened. Taehyung resignedly lowered his head and allowed his hands to limb freely down his body as if they were of no use to him anymore. As if he completely gave up and just wanted to go on with his day as usual, without fighting for something even remotely good. That was such a sad image.

"Let's just go to school,” Taehyung whispered and tried to walk past Jungkook to get his things, but the boy took a step forward to cross his path.

"No!"

“No?”

Taehyung lifted his head to meet Jungkook’s eyes and only then did he realize he might have acted a little too much on his emotions. He unnecessarily raised his voice and extended his hand to stop the boy's movement. However, his fingers were just inches from Taehyung’s, so before they could collide by accident, he quickly backed down and tried to act natural.

“Well… I don’t think we should go there now.”

“Will you hold me captive here?” Taehyung asked sarcastically when Jungkook still didn’t back down from his guarding stance.

“Ah, no… Of course not. Just…”

JK had no real reason to keep the boy at home, other than the most personal one: he didn't want to part with him yet, especially not after what had happened yesterday. Jungkook still felt responsible and as long as the boy was in his apartment he was under JK’s supervision. Besides, he really wanted the boy to feel a little bit better. Jungkook couldn’t stand watching him in such a miserable state.

On the other hand, JK couldn't decide for the boy, much less keep him in the apartment by force. So when he ran out of further arguments, which Taehyung would dismiss in the blink of an eye anyway, he had to resort to the most perfidious trick. He felt terrible about it, but there was no other way. That’s why he finally raised his hand and pointed toward the window.

“Look. It’s still raining.”

Taehyung followed Jungkook's hand and locked his gaze on the rain stains on the window glass. It wasn’t raining much, but if the boy was so afraid of rain of any kind, it should be enough to keep him inside. And Jungkook was sure he succeeded just a second later. However, he also started to regret his actions.

Taehyung froze once again and even if his eyes were following the lazy droplets hitting the window, Jungkook knew the boy’s mind had transferred somewhere far away. He had this empty stare and completely indifferent expression on his face as if he suddenly got reminded of a certain memory. Whatever it was, it looked so hopeless for Jungkook.

How could you do it to him? Jungkook scolded himself internally. You were supposed to make him feel better not worse, you idiot!

Because that is what it was about from the very beginning—to make the boy a little bit happier. Reminding him about the rain and everything that was associated with it was quite the opposite thing to do. Jungkook felt so guilty. Especially when he saw how Taehyung gulped with fear, just before covering his eyes and rubbing them forcefully. It was hard not to hear a quiet sniff which surely indicated he did this to get rid of newly formed tears.

Jungkook wanted to do something, just to make up for the damage he had made, but once again Taehyung bit him to it. He suddenly shook his head rather lively as if he wanted to get rid of a certain thought and turned to JK.

"You're right," he admitted shyly, his voice way weaker than before. “It’s better to stay here.”

He quickly lowered his head again, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze. JK suspected it was because of slightly reddened eyes and those tears he failed to remove with the last whip. He didn’t want to show them in front of Jungkook so much so he almost immediately tried to squeeze past him. But JK, quite subconsciously, stopped him again. He knew the boy wasn’t heading toward the door but somehow he couldn’t let him go just yet. He still felt bad for playing Taehyung like this.

Taehyung waited patiently for Jungkook to move but when JK was still reluctant to do so, he murmured, “Can I just take a shower?"

"Ah, yes. Sorry.” Jungkook immediately nodded and took a step to the side. “No need to ask about that. I'll bring you something to change."

“Oh, no... wait!"

Taehyung tried to stop him, but of course, he failed. Jungkook hurried toward his room and reached the closet. He quickly grabbed a fresh T-shirt, a towel, and a purple hoodie the boy had worn on the balcony yesterday. He had a feeling Taehyung would want to use it, even if it wasn’t the freshest piece of clothing available.

He came back to the room just as quickly and showed the pile of clothes straight into the boy's hands, just before he could protest and refuse his gift.

"Take your time. I'll make a breakfast."

Saying this, he almost pushed the boy toward the bathroom and went straight to the kitchen. However, he waited before opening the fridge until he heard the bathroom door finally closing behind Taehyung. Only then he could start cooking freely.

He decided to make a simple but nutritious breakfast. French toast, some vegetables, a sip of banana milk—it all should give them enough energy for this gloomy day. He prepared two cups of coffee as well. Although the morning jog woke him up a bit, he still needed caffeine to continue dealing with Taehyung and his moods today. He had a feeling that this morning wouldn't be in any way easier than yesterday’s evening.

When he heard the bathroom door open, everything was almost ready. That’s why he put the plates down and leaned over the counter just to get a quick glance. JK had to know if he was about to meet the cute after-shower version of the boy he once saw in his kitchen—Jungkook wanted to be prepared for such an encounter. This version of Taehyung has proven to be the most dangerous one for Jungkook’s imagination and this really wasn’t the time to let it go loose again.

Taehyung showed up in the living room wearing Jungkook’s sports clothes and the purple hoodie he was given a few minutes ago. He had already put the hood over his still-wet hair and Jungkook immediately added the smell of his shampoo as another scent leaving its mark on the purple clothing. Now the hoodie was even more memorable. How could JK ever wash it?  

It seemed like the boy forgot to dry his hair; the black strands straightened a little and stuck to his forehead, still dripping wet. It was obvious he didn’t wipe them properly or more like he didn’t wipe them at all. And although it looked cute, the image reminded JK of a different time when the boy's hair was just like this. Maybe that’s why he wanted to sneak his hand under the hood and ruffle the black locks a little, just to erase the leftovers of that hellish image. Or maybe he wanted to touch them once more.

Whatever it was, Jungkook managed to shut his inner desires and focus on the food. Not for long, of course, because he had to look at the Taehyung once again the moment he heard him taking his favorite place in the kitchen.

The boy looked better, much better than a few minutes ago. The poutiness was gone, he gained more color, though the slightly reddened eyes were still an issue. Maybe that’s why he put the hood over his forehead so tightly—just to cover himself from Jungkook’s attentive and curious glances. It looked as if he was ashamed of something; he leaned over the counter a little, hid his fingers inside the purple sleeves, and rested them on his chin, covering his beautifully pink lips. At that moment the only visible features of his face seemed to be his long eyelashes, still holding some droplets of water on their edges.

Jungkook classified this image as the equally dangerous one and if it wasn’t for the strong smell of delicious breakfast, he most likely would get caught by the fresh and seductive scent of the boy. How Taehyung made him feel like this just by taking a silly shower was beyond JK's comprehension. It seemed like pretty boys knew some of the magic spells. And even if Taehyung wasn’t just another pretty boy, he seemed to know them as well.

Calm down, Jungkook, it’s only your shampoo, he had to remind himself. You’re better than this.

Jungkook shook his head and used his finger to push the plate a little further on the counter, waiting for the boy to finally notice it. Still, it took Taehyung a moment to realize that JK had placed a plate just under his nose. Too bad, because the breakfast looked more than delicious and JK was incredibly proud of his cooking. He really made an effort and he couldn't remember the last time he made something breakfast-ish to eat instead of grabbing a bottle of banana milk from the fridge each morning.

"Ah, you didn't have to," the boy admitted shily.

"I did. Please, you have to eat something."

Since he met Taehyung waiting for him on the staircase in front of his apartment, the boy hadn't eaten anything at all. He drank a few teas while studying in the kitchen but that was all he had consumed that evening. He must have been hungry even if he claimed the opposite. Besides, he simply had to eat something; the last thing Jungkook wanted for the boy was for his physical condition to worsen as well—it was enough for his mental condition to be rather unsteady.

"I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure about that?"

JK immediately pointed to the boy's mouth, which was nervously biting the metal end of the hoodie string. Taehyung must have been doing it subconsciously, because he realized what was happening only the moment Jungkook mentioned it. He quickly spat out the string and wiped his mouth as if to hide the fact that he had even touched it. It was so childish, but Jungkook even liked the embarrassed smile the boy cast him when he was caught red-handed. 

"I'm sorry about that. I'll wash it for you later."

"Are you kidding me? There’s no need to wash it,” Jungkook protested immediately. He found the boy’s proposal quite funny maybe that is why he continued in a similar manner, “Besides, I do have a washing machine, you know?”

The purple hoodie wasn’t the most important thing right now, even though it became quite a memorable piece of clothing. Especially now, when apart from the infamous shampoo smell, it had boy’s DNA on it as well. Maybe it was kind of gross, but Jungkook didn’t quite want to put it into the washing machine just yet. He had a feeling there was another story destined for this hoodie, though he didn’t quite know which one.

Maybe it was supposed to be one of the food stains? Or a spilled coffee? JK hoped for the first one more since the coffee wasn’t the easiest stain to get rid of. Nevertheless, to make it happen, Taehyung had to finally eat something. That’s why Jungkook once more pointed toward the plate with a delicious breakfast.

“Please, don’t bother. Just eat, okay?”

Taehyung stared at him uncertainly for a moment longer, until he finally nodded meekly. He pushed the plate closer to him and grabbed a fork. In the beginning, he took the smallest bite of a toast. It was a bit like he was forcing himself to eat something just not to offend JK who had made such an effort to prepare breakfast. However, with each subsequent bite, he seemed to have a greater appetite and ate more willingly than before. Maybe he liked the taste or maybe he was hungry after all.  

Jungkook didn't understand why he was so fascinated by this image, but something about Taehyung eating lively deeply touched his heart. The boy looked healthier, for once motivated to do something, and maybe even remotely happy. JK knew it was highly unlikely for Taehyung to actually feel happiness but it was a good promise for the future. Each bite felt like a step made toward a better tomorrow. As if the boy finally found that will to fight hidden somewhere in his French toast.

And in all of this, Jungkook felt a bit like a grandmother who had successfully forced her grandson to eat a two-course dinner with a triple dessert.  

JK smiled to himself when he saw the boy's cheeks stuffed with another bite of toast. His bread cheeks were so adorable. So much so that Jungkook had to remind himself that he wanted to make them some coffee. He quickly grabbed the kettle before Taehyung could catch him staring and poured the water into his cup. Only then he once again turned to the boy.

"How do you like your coffee?"

He forgot to ask beforehand. Jungkook knew what kind of tea was the boy’s usual (thought he liked most of the tea flavors and herbs) but he had no clue about his coffee routine. He thought about it before and what suited Taehyung the most seemed to be the lovely caramel macchiato or just a sweet coffee with a lot of milk—the brownish color of such a coffee came to JK’s mind first. He could bet the boy had at least three different fancy shirts in this color hanging in his closet.

But much to his surprise, Taehyung just grimaced and quickly swallowed another bite.

"Umm, actually, I don't like coffee."

Jungkook blinked slowly not really aware of the words he just had heard. In his mind, Taehyung just had admitted he preferred something sweet and JK was about to apologize for not having any fancy syrup to offer him. This is how that conversation should have gone, so what went wrong?

"You don't like coffee?" JK repeated the words, just to make sure he heard them well.

Taehyung gave him a slightly confused look as if he wasn’t sure why he had to repeat himself. And if before he sounded rather embarrassed with his confession, this time he was way more expressive.

"Well... To be honest. I really, really, really hate it."

JK immediately frowned at these words. Something about it all didn't feel right to him.

"You must be joking, right?"

"N-no. Why?"

"So you're saying that you passed everything with flying colors, topped all the classes, got all these amazing grades, and managed to qualify for the final of the national competition, all without even a sip of coffee?"

It was beyond Jungkook's comprehension. Nobody, absolutely nobody, should be able to be that good without any external help. Sure, there were people for whom studying was incredibly easy; they had an amazing memory or were talented in many fields at once. However, it still took some time: a lot of late evenings or early mornings with books and tons of material. The time when a person should be awake. And there was no better way to guarantee this than drinking a cup of coffee.

And with all that was happening in Taehyung’s life, it was almost impossible that the boy managed to do this on his own. Apart from school, there was also this holly image of his, the walking perfection myth—something quite hard to maintain for a longer note. The way Taehyung always looked so damn fine and well-rested after so many sleepless nights. He never seemed tired, and always behaved friendly, as if the bad days never happened to him.

Jungkook thought it was all thanks to coffee but as it seemed it was some kind of forbidden magic. He had to know the truth. Especially when the boy shook his head again at the other mention of coffee.

"So what was it? Energy drinks?" 

Taehyung stuck his tongue out, greatly disgusted. "Even worse."

"Green tea? Matcha? Those weird Asian herbs and potions?”

"None of them."

"Supplements? The ones they advertise on TV? Do they really work?"

"I don't know and I'm not a fan of medicines."

"So it's drugs then."

"Wait, what?"

Taehyung froze for a second and even Jungkook was a little surprised he came to such a conclusion. But when the boy couldn’t name any other thing that might have helped him on a daily basis in the past, he had to attack with the most ridiculous one of all. He just couldn’t believe Taehyung’s words. He couldn’t be, in fact, perfect.

So even if he knew how bizarre this accusation was, he had to proceed further. He knew way too many people who tried to cheat their way into studies or school using not-so-legal stuff. It always started like this. And he wouldn’t be surprised if most of the perfect students have tried them at least once.  

"Drugs. Amphetamine? Methylphenidate? You know, this stuff. They can help you memorize things and enhance your concentration. I heard law and medicine students take them quite a lot. I mean with so much material to go through that’s kind of understandable.”

“What are you talking about?” Taehyung was still confused.

“Oh, come on!” Jungkook grunted and rolled his eyes. “How do you think they pass all these exams?”

"With hard work and devotion?"

That wasn’t the answer Jungkook wanted to hear but apparently, the boy still didn’t understand the case. Or maybe he was too innocent to think about such a way of solving school problems. There was no use in explaining it further, so he decided to shorten this conversation and cut straight to the case.

"Yeah, sure. Hard work and devotion,” JK mocked him a little. “And a loyalty card in Starbucks. Which brings us back to coffee."

JK pointed at his mug to make his point even clearer.  

“Just tell me what’s your spinach, Popeye, and I’ll let you go.”

Taehyung was still staring at Jungkook as if he saw a really ugly ghost. He had this weird but cute grimace on his face, as his expression was partly confused and partly clueless. He probably didn’t understand why JK was so into this topic when the answer was pretty simple.

"It’s just… water.”

“Water?”

“Yes. Cold, bottled water.”

Oh gosh, that was the most anticlimactic answer Jungkook had ever heard. How boring of a person you have to be to have water as your energy booster? That was crazy ridiculous. So much so JK thought the boy was only teasing him. However, judging by his unamused and still confused gaze, he was deadly serious. Funny how instead of getting some answers, Jungkook only got even more questions.

"Okay, let’s say it’s true—"

"It is true."

"If it is true then it's quite unbelievable and somehow really impressive."

Because it really was. If the boy, in fact, did everything without any external help it was beyond impressive and Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from praising the boy. He has never heard of a similar case—in many more ways than he previously thought. 

“Mmm, nothing out of the ordinary.”

“I would say everything out of the ordinary!”

"Then I don’t know. Maybe I'm special." Taehyung shrugged and focused on his food.

He said it in a rather dismissive way, just not to continue the conversation any further. But the boy wasn’t aware of how important his words were. Because even if they were said just to please Jungkook, they also had a deeper meaning JK wanted the boy to remember. 

"Can you repeat that?"

"Repeat what?"

"The last sentence. Just say it out loud."

"Maybe I'm special?"

"Yes, you are. And I want you to remember that every time you feel like shit."

Jungkook could tell the exact moment in which Taehyung realized the meaning of these words. His stare became deeper, his body froze in the middle of all the movements as he couldn’t even swallow the last bite of the toast. He seemed to forget how to breathe for a second, just to regain consciousness only after a while.

Taehyung cleared his throat and managed not to spit out the food he still had in his mouth. He calmly finished the last bite and looked at his plate with a grimace. He grabbed his fork and started sadly playing with the remaining food, pushing it from one side of the plate to the other. The boy clearly lost his appetite to the point, that even looking at the food made him feel sick.

He smacked his lips a little and then, disgusted, pushed the plate away. At that moment JK knew that the boy would not eat anything else this morning.

His attitude changed drastically; he went from quite open and talkative to being secretive and uncomfortable again. Well, he had all the reasons to be like that. What Jungkook had told him was quite direct and outright, and in his situation hearing anything like this was more than challenging.

But Jungkook knew he was right. It was part of this self-love philosophy Taehyung hated so much but had to accept at one point. JK tried to get him acquainted with that idea but maybe he was a bit too straight-forward. Or maybe it was too soon to do this? But, damn, they had to start at one point. Jungkook saw the right opportunity and just took it.

However, seeing the boy so resigned right now after seeing him eating so lively a few moments ago, made him feel regret acting so recklessly.

Taehyung hid his hands in the sleeves of the purple hoodie and made sure that the hood covered his forehead even more. Only then did he bite his lips and admit with what seemed to be a heavy heart.

“Even if Seokjin is right, please, don’t try to be him,” he said quietly, but his voice was surprisingly firm. “I don’t need it right now.”

Jungkook understood where the request came from. The way he acted just now was so similar to all those therapists and specialists that the boy resented so much. Maybe it wasn’t the best approach after all. If the boy heard such words each time he was at home, it could be quite tiring. No wonder he didn’t want to have another Seokjin in his life, so Jungkook didn’t intend to turn into one.

Instead, he asked him calmly “So what do you need right now?”

Taehyung finally raised his head and locked his gaze on Jungkook. It was surprisingly calm but JK knew that the boy’s heart must have been racing quite fast—Jungkook’s wasn’t calm either. But what seemed to be hidden in his worried eyes was a silent plea for help. Or for something he couldn’t put into words.

“I need…” he stopped in the middle as if the weight of his next words were too much for him to handle. The confidence with which he started suddenly vanished and Taehyung once again dropped his gaze and murmured,  “I need some sleep.”

Before Jungkook could act, the boy stood up and rushed toward his bedroom.

JK had a feeling it wasn’t what Taehyung wanted to originally say, but he had no way to check it. It was better to let the boy go. Sleep was indeed a partial solution, so Jungkook was happy the boy would get some right now. But he also wanted to know what Taehyung really needed—the thing he decided to keep for himself. It was much needed for his long-term plan of recovery.

So after a few seconds, just like that, Jungkook was left alone in the kitchen with a plate of half-eaten breakfast and a cup of coffee he suddenly no longer wanted. He also lost his appetite.

Chapter Text

The very first thing Jungkook did after entering his apartment was throwing himself on his bed—since he left school it was the only thing he had been dreaming about.

He came back home late; it was almost 9 p.m., but Jungkook felt as if it was already midnight. He was extremely tired, all because of the extensive training they got today. But at the same time, he couldn’t stop smiling—that type of basketball was what he had been missing lately. Even if he couldn’t feel his legs and his body begged him for a hot shower, he was still so damn happy.

He still had some talent within him or at least that was what Namjoon had told him. The captain was happy with his play and the way it blended perfectly with the rest of the team making them a strong contender for this season. Jungkook thought it would be difficult for him to join the new team, but surprisingly the rest of the guys were extremely open. However, there was one guy—Dean—who wasn’t overly fond of him. No wonder, both of them played in the same position and were in a direct fight for the place in the first squad. But even his strange insults didn't bother Jungkook. No one could make him dislike basketball.

His body was sore, so much so even the hot shower wasn’t helping much. But he liked the way hot water caressed his skin and eased his mind a little. It felt so good and soothing that he almost fell asleep. Fortunately, he managed to regain consciousness just before he could flood his bathroom. He would like to avoid a confrontation with an enraged neighbor and unnecessary expenses for reparations.

Jungkook didn’t bother wearing any T-shirt and jumped straight to his bed. He didn't even dry his hair properly with a towel—the was no time for it when all he needed was some sleep. It would get dry overnight when he would rub it against his pillow anyway.  

So he quickly wrapped himself in the blanket and turned off the bedside lamp. He set the alarm on his phone. As it turned out, fate was exceptionally favorable to him—he started his classes a little later tomorrow, so he could sleep in. Good, he deserved a long, peaceful sleep.

He sighed and snuggled into the pillow, closing his heavy eyelids, hoping for a moment of peace.

And that moment of peace was indeed only a moment. At first, he heard a lazy thud of a strong wind just outside the window; then a few raindrops aggressively hit the glass and just before it poured out for real, he heard the doorbell.

Jungkook shut his eyes tight as if it would make him fall asleep immediately. He wanted to ignore all these sounds, including the doorbell, so badly; to pretend he wasn’t at home or already deep asleep. At the same time, he also tried to convince himself it was one of his annoying neighbors about to make some ridiculous complaint. Anything just to justify lying in his bed indifferently and hoping for the problem to go away itself, without his intervention.

Unfortunately, whoever was on the other side of the door wasn’t giving up so easily. And Jungkook knew that at this hour and under such rainy circumstances it could only be one person. Therefore, when he heard another banging on his door, he grunted and finally stood up.

Half-conscious, he grabbed his T-shirt from the chair in the corner of the room and lazily put it on as he was walking through the hall. He had already gotten used to the darkness in the apartment, so he didn't bother turning on the lights. That is why he slowly opened the door; the bright light on the staircase seemed to burn his eyes. He had to squint to see the figure standing in his doorway. Of course, it was none other than Taehyung.

However, JK had to blink a few times for the image to actually come into focus. Everything seemed to be in the right place: black curly hair falling on the boy’s forehead, equally black mysterious eyes with that half-empty gaze, and this incredibly handsome face. It was surely Taehyung who was standing just in front of Jungkook, yet something felt wrong.

Namely, the boy's clothes.

Every time Taehyung walked past this door, he wore one of the masterpieces from his fancy shirt collection or that unfortunate oversized suit that JK never wanted to see again. Basically, each time he looked so damn fine; just as if he decided to visit him immediately after doing the fashion show for one of the worldwide brands.

This time, however, he was wearing loose gray pants, a yellow oversized hoodie with some funny graphics on it, and a pair of comfy white Nikes. His brown leather bag was gone, replaced by the tote bag hanging over his left shoulder. Same for his favorite watch—the boy’s wrist felt empty without it, though the single black hairband looked oddly attractive as well. Taehyung looked just like the quirky boy next door from all these aesthetic Tumblr pictures. The one thing he was missing was glasses.

That's why Jungkook had to stare at the boy for a little bit longer; just to make sure it wasn’t a crazy daydream.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I must have woken you up," Taehyung apologized immediately.

Only when Jungkook heard that deep voice he could relax a little—it conformed boy’s identity. Taehyung was in fact here, at his door. It wasn’t a weird vision he got from exhaustion or lack of sleep. Good. Otherwise, it would only mean he went crazy for real.

And when Jungkook finally accepted that he was facing Taehyung in person, he suddenly understood the boy’s words. They only indicated that Jungkook must have looked awfully bad. He hadn’t spent much time in bed just now, but he could bet his still-wet hair was no better than a dirty mop. He was barely able to stand still without falling asleep and collapsing just in front of the boy. His eyelids were so heavy that he could barely see, not only because of the bright light that was physically hurting him.

Shit, I probably look like a blind fucking mole, he thought. Great. Just great.

Not that he cared about how he looked each time he met the boy. He just didn’t like to show his weak side and he felt as if hit rock bottom tonight. But Taehyung also wasn’t in his neutral perfect image, so maybe it was supposed to be like this—completely natural. That’s why JK decided to ignore this awkward feeling he just got.

"You didn't wake me up, though you were close," JK muttered under his breath and stepped aside to open the door a little bit wider. "Come in."

Jungkook immediately went to the kitchen, though the walk felt like an eternity. Everything he was doing took him longer than usual, maybe because his body wanted to go back to his bed so badly. But JK knew he couldn’t go there just yet. Now he had a boy to take care of too. That’s why he started preparing two cups of tea.

It was kind of selfish of Jungkook but he hoped that the boy wouldn’t be overly talkative tonight. Not that he has ever been overly talkative with him, but still. He hoped it wouldn’t be the night of confessions. Jungkook really, really, wanted to get some sleep. Funny enough, when he was about to finally get some it was once again Taehyung who deprived him of this blissful state. This time in person though.

Jungkook wanted to help the boy, he really did and he promised he would. He would have to be a hypocrite and a complete dick to ignore Taehyung now just because he felt like sleeping. Besides, he told the boy to visit him whenever he needed it; he couldn’t take back his words now.

Not when the boy actually followed his advice for once. For the past two weeks, Taehyung visited him five times; whenever the weather was far away from being sunny and summery. Sometimes they met right after school when it had been raining since the early morning; sometimes the boy came in the afternoons just before it started raining. However, he never came during the night. Tonight was the first time he came so late.

That’s why it surprised Jungkook a little. Because all the boy did while spending time at his place was studying. He usually sat in the same place in the kitchen, flipped through all his textbooks, and made lots of notes. All this while drinking his favorite cold, bottled water. A phenomenon Jungkook still couldn’t understand.

However, a few times when Taehyung had nothing else to study, he made himself a cup of green tea and joined Jungkook on the couch. He sat there with his hands wrapped tightly over his legs, looking like a small ball, and followed the match closely. Jungkook tried to focus on TV as well, but it was quite hard, having the boy just beside him. It should feel natural, sitting like this, but somehow it made Jungkook a little uncomfortable. It felt like watching a match with a close bestie, while Taehyung was nowhere near this title. But if it was his way of coping and dealing with whatever dark thoughts he had in his head, JK decided to allow it.

Especially when one time Taehyung actually spoke up. He asked him about one of the players and the rest of the conversation followed quite naturally. They ended up talking about other teams in the league, and as it turned out, Taehyung knew quite a lot about basketball. Jungkook had to explain a few things, but the boy clearly wasn’t a rookie.

It felt nice to have somebody to talk about basketball. Jimin has always been clueless, despite his best friend playing this sport for his whole life. He always rooted for Jungkook from the stands but never knew what was happening on the court. Contrary to Taehyung. He seemed genuinely curious and taking under consideration how rarely he spoke about anything really, Jungkook tried to make this conversation as long as it was possible. He hoped the boy would open up a little.

That’s why JK avoided any heavy or uncomfortable topics; just as he was asked that one time in the kitchen. Taehyung didn’t need another Seokjin in his life, so Jungkook decided to just be himself—a boy who was sincerely trying to make a new friend. Just as he offered, he tried to like that other side of Taehyung, so he could finally like himself as well. Not knowing the origin of the boy’s problem, it was all he could do right now. Although he had a hunch the boy wasn’t showing him his true colors just yet.

The very first time he visited was pretty calm; Taehyung studied for a few hours and left the apartment the moment it stopped raining, exchanging only a few necessary words.

The second time, Taehyung joined Jungkook on the couch for the first time but didn’t have the courage to speak up. They sat in complete silence for hours—it was probably the most awkward visit out of all.

The third time, they had a lovely basketball conversation and since that evening, Jungkook made sure to ask the boy some casual lifestyle questions each time he sat beside him. Just to open him up a little. Taehyung briefly answered some questions but he ignored the vast majority of them, pretending he didn’t hear them at all. His selective talkativeness was pretty annoying but that was all Jungkook had, so he couldn’t complain much.

The fourth time, Taehyung finally agreed to eat a dinner Jungkook spent quite the time doing. He was so happy to share some black bean noodles with the boy, only to learn he hated any spicy food. Jungkook offered to make him something mildly acceptable and vanished in the kitchen for the next half an hour, only to finish his special dish the moment it stopped raining. Before he could put the noodles on the plate, Taehyung had already packed his bag and closed the door behind him.

The fifth time, they came to his apartment by bus. It was raining all day but Taehyung seemed to be pretty calm at school. It only made Jungkook wonder how hard it was for him to act like the walking perfection in such conditions. There was no place at school where he could take a break and escape that haunting image of rain just outside the window. But even Jungkook couldn’t tell there was something bad happening with the boy. Gosh, he was such a good actor.

No wonder the very first thing he did after coming to Jungkook’s apartment was crawling under the warm sheets of his bed. JK didn’t know if the boy had fallen asleep or if he was just lying there, maybe crying even. He decided not to disturb him.

The sixth time never happened, though JK was sure it would be yesterday. Another heavy storm struck the city and it was a miracle Jungkook still had the electricity at his apartment in the morning. JK couldn’t sleep that night, partly because of the loud rain and partly because he was subconsciously waiting for the boy.

It was the first rain Taehyung didn’t come to him and he couldn’t help but worry about the boy. He tossed and turned in his bed when he finally decided to text him. If the boy hasn’t come to his apartment, he should check on him—that was the only reasonable thing to do to ease his mind. But much to his disappointment, he realized he still didn’t have Taehyung’s number. They met quite often these past two weeks and still, he couldn’t even contact him when needed. What a bullshit.  

Jungkook threw his phone to the other side of the bed, greatly furious at his incompetence and this stupid heart that couldn’t calm down even for a bit. He cared. And he hated caring.

Besides, he couldn’t shake the feeling that the weather was messing with him as well. He couldn’t remember when was the last time Austin was such a rainy city. It should be sunny and stuffy, not rainy and windy. It was as if the whole universe was against him. What did he do wrong to deserve this? He didn’t understand. All he wanted was some goddamn sleep.

And just like this, the seventh time, he stood in the kitchen, preparing two cups of tea, trying to suppress a great urge to yawn every few seconds.

He put the cups on the counter and leaned over, resting the weight of his body on his hand, trying his best not to fall asleep while standing. It was a rather difficult fight. A fight he eventually lost. He regained consciousness only when he heard a click of the kettle, suggesting the water was ready.  

He wanted to grab the kettle but Taehyung beat him to it. The boy slowly poured one cup of tea and completely omitted the other cup—Jungkook’s cup.

"You don't have to do it," Taehyung said softly before JK could ask. "Just go to bed. I can see you're exhausted. I will—"

"No, no, it's okay," Jungkook protested immediately. "I'm here for you."

He said it rather automatically as he wanted to remind the boy he would help him no matter what; even if it meant sacrificing some of his precious sleep. He didn’t even realize how straightforward this comment was for someone who never had somebody by their side. How precious these words really were. To the point that Taehyung couldn’t speak for a while.

When Jungkook didn't hear an answer for a long time, he struggled a little but finally looked up from his empty cup. Taehyung seemed slightly surprised or maybe even abashed by his comment. So much so that Jungkook began to wonder if he had said something wrong.

"I-I… know,” Taehyung said shyly, “But tonight you should be here for yourself as well."

They stared at each other for quite a long time and Jungkook was surprised he was able to open his eyes for so long with such tiredness. He also didn't expect that Taehyung would care about his condition in this situation. It wasn't about him, after all. He wasn't the one in need. He didn't need help.

"Oh, stop it." JK waved his hand dismissively. “We both know you didn't come here without a reason and you won't be studying this late. I'll hear you out if that's what you neeee—"

Jungkook couldn't finish the sentence because he started yawning. He didn't want to show his tiredness in front of the boy so much, and yet his body betrayed him. His words were inconsistent with his actions, and the contrast made Taehyung shake his head in disbelief.

"I'm fine," he sighed. "Just go to your bed and I'll do the same. I like your couch and I brought my own blanket. I can take care of myself so, please, get some sleep."

He pointed to the tote bag he had left in the hall, which actually seemed to be stuffed with some fluffy material. That would also explain why he came here in comfy clothes instead of his fancy collection. Maybe he didn’t care about talking or studying right now? Maybe he wanted to spend a quiet night after all?

Taehyung’s expression and his calm tone indicated that it was indeed the reason for his visit. However, just because the boy used this disgusting phrase I’m fine once again, Jungkook had to confirm it.

"Are you sure?"

Taehyung hesitated for a moment before answering. He looked down shyly and gently bit one of his puffed cheeks from the inside while playing with the yellow sleeve of his hoodie. Jungkook couldn’t shake the feeling that the boy should have been wearing the purple one.

"Well, it's raining outside, Jin is out of town for tonight and I… didn't want to be alone."

So it wasn't just about the rain, although it still was one of the main reasons for his visit. He just needed to have somebody by his side; just in case something might happen. Maybe that is why he didn’t come to him yesterday. Jin was probably at home so there was no need to search for somebody else to accompany him. Not like today when his brother’s duty was taken by Jungkook.

Still, JK didn't expect such a confession from a person who tended to avoid any relationships and didn't want others to get to know him too well. Even if it was someone like Jungkook. He most probably was used to coping and dealing with all his problems alone. Why did he suddenly need someone’s presence? Not even the physical touch but just the thought that someone’s in the same apartment, in the other room?

Whatever the reason was that evening, Jungkook was ready to help him. And if JK could really just lie down and fall asleep without worrying about the long conversations and Taehyung’s state, he should probably take advantage of it and just go back to his bed.

Jungkook was afraid of one thing. Even if he managed to fall asleep, he would subconsciously wake up at night just to make sure that the boy was also asleep. Just to check up on him. And he had already known that the boy would certainly not spend another night in peace. Damn, Taehyung would cry over another of his pillows. If it continued like this, Taehyung would leave his tears at all the available ones in his apartment.

Jungkook looked at the boy with pity and although he really wanted to treat him like a lost child, this time he decided that Taehyung could act like a grown-up man for a while and take care of himself. At least for these few hours.

"Thanks," JK sighed. "I really need some sleep."

He craved a good sleep for so long that is why he was grateful that Taehyung had thought about him a little. Maybe the boy was the one with a worse mental state of the two, but physically he looked way better. However, Jungkook knew that Taehyung was an excellent liar and he could easily hide behind any mask, hiding his tiredness or physical exhaustion as well. The thing he looked good, didn’t mean his body felt good. 

“But if you need something, don't hesitate and wake me— “

 “It won't be needed,” Taehyung shook his head vigorously. “Please, have a good sleep.”

Saying this, he immediately grabbed his cup of tea and went to the living room. He didn't look back at Jungkook even once, as if he didn't want to continue this conversation. He simply took his bag with a blanket and sat down on the couch.

JK watched all this from the kitchen, a little surprised by the boy's attitude and similarly disappointed that he couldn't see the expression on the boy's face when he said it. But in the end, he decided he should get some sleep. Since he had been given permission, he would have to be completely stupid to object.

He immediately went toward the bedroom and threw himself on the bed, just like a few moments ago. He thought he would be subconsciously listening to what was happening in the living room, but it was quite the opposite. As soon as his head hit the pillow and his eyelids closed, Jungkook instantly fell asleep.

⊷⊶

Jungkook woke up.

The apartment was dark and quiet and he wasn't quite sure why he had even woken up. He froze for a second in search of strange noises but he didn't hear anything out of the ordinary; not even the boy's desperate sobs from the other room. The only louder sound was the rain, tapping on the window. Besides that, it was oddly silent.

So it must have been something else that woke him up or maybe there was no reason at all. Knowing his weird sleeping schedule, everything was possible. He got used to random wake-ups at night. He just hoped he would be able to fall asleep again. Nothing else mattered to him.

So he grabbed his phone lying somewhere under the pillow to check the time. It was almost three in the morning, which meant that he had slept in peace for almost five hours. It was one of the longest runs he had since that fateful day. That was quite a pleasant surprise, especially when Taehyung was still at his apartment. Because that is what he had assumed. Since the rain hadn't stopped, the boy clearly must have been still lying on his couch.

And even if he was sure he would find the boy there, he wanted to check it out. Just to be sure and shut this weird voice in his head that made him so freaking anxious. He turned to the side with a silent grunt and struggled with the blanket for a while. And just when he was about to climb out of the bed, it turned out that the trip to the living room wasn't necessary at all.

Taehyung was sitting on the floor, right next to his bed. He leaned gently against the bed frame, wrapped his arms around his legs tightly, and stared blankly at the droplets racing down the window glass. He rested his head on his knees, which made him look so small; just like a lost, lonely child. The faint light of the street lamp illuminated his face, revealing the wet traces on his cheeks. It was as if the boy's tears followed the example of the rain.

This discovery was strange to Jungkook, to say the least. He felt a bit uncomfortable with Taehyung sitting here while he was peacefully sleeping. He knew the boy was probably just lost in his thoughts, focused on the rain, but still, it felt a little bit creepy; being watched like this. 

Maybe that's why he woke up? Because he subconsciously felt someone watching him? Because he felt someone's presence in the room? Or maybe the boy had just been crying a second ago and it was the sound that woke him up?

Jungkook leaned on his elbow and rubbed his eyes to wake up a bit. He had to find out what this was all about.

"Hey," JK whispered in a harsh voice. "What are you doing here?"

Taehyung flinched a little, which wasn't usual, and turned to the direction the question came from. There could be no mistake who asked it but still, the boy seemed surprised to catch Jungkook's attentive but sleepy gaze. So when he realized JK was indeed no longer asleep, he immediately started to remove the tear marks from his cheeks. He sniffled and gave Jungkook a faint, apologetic smile.

"Ah, I'm sorry," he hurried a soft apology. "I shouldn't be sitting here."

He wanted to stand up but Jungkook stopped him in the middle. "No, no. It's okay. I don't mind."

These words made the boy freeze for a second before he slowly nodded and sat down in the same place as a moment ago. Except now he looked like he was ready to get up and leave the room at any given moment. 

Jungkook really didn't mind. If that was what Taehyung needed right now, he could spend the whole night sitting here. Okay, it was a little bit uncomfortable but in the end, Jungkook wouldn't feel it in the sleep. As long as he falls asleep at all. Because seeing the boy like this made his heart sink a little. If he wanted to calm it down, he had to know what was happening with the boy; why he had come here in the first place. 

“I just thought you wanted to get some sleep. The floor doesn't seem to be the most comfortable place for that."

He decided that this would be the best way to get some information out of the boy. Not ask a direct question, but make him speak on his own. It usually worked. Besides, he had a feeling that if he hadn't said a word now, the boy would shyly stand up and leave the room, trying to avoid any potential conversation. Jungkook had to be careful; every gesture could have a great impact on the boy, especially now.

Taehyung was a bit like a flower that bloomed only at a specific time and even the slightest touch on his fragile petals could make it close to the world forever. Jungkook wanted to witness this flower's beauty as long as possible. 

"It felt lonely in that room," Taehyung whispered in his weak voice. "And I-I just… I didn't want to be a-alone tonight."

So the reason was pretty simple; it was the same thing Taehyung told him a few hours ago in the kitchen. The same reason why he came to him in the first place. Apparently, sharing the same apartment and feeling the one’s presence through the wall wasn’t enough for him. He needed something more tangible, visible, something that would ensure him he wasn’t alone.  And Jungkook couldn't blame him for searching for that proof. On the contrary, he wanted to show him he found it.

Taehyung stared at him with his wet eyes for a while, and when the amount of tears gathered in their corners was too much for him to handle, he finally looked away. Jungkook saw the first tear rolling down his cheek, the second one followed just after, and then another one, and another one, and another one. Taehyung tried to fight them off but it wasn't an easy task: when he wiped one tear off, two more appeared in its place. And the boy was clueless; he didn't know how to deal with all these tears at once.

When Jungkook saw this miserable fight, he immediately knew what he had to do. Without thinking too much, he threw the blanket away, climbed out of bed, and slowly slid over its edge to sit right next to the curled-up Taehyung. He pulled his legs up to his chest, just like the boy did, and made sure their arms gently rubbed against each other. He wanted Taehyung to physically feel that he wasn't alone.

Taehyung, however, didn't seem to pay attention to it, being busy fighting back his tears. It looked really heartbreaking but also really natural. In a way, it was even magical, so much so that JK couldn't take his eyes off the boy. He carefully watched as Taehyung's delicate hands kept wiping away the tears that shimmered in his black eyes and remained on the tips of his long fingers. For a moment Jungkook even wanted to help him, but he managed to stop himself. It would be too much—they didn't have that type of relationship.

But how was it possible that even when the boy was such a crying mess, he still looked so handsome? The image which was supposed to be a heartbreaking one was also so beautiful and Jungkook found it hard to explain. Maybe the boy was truly magical.

This fight continued for a while until Taehyung realized that Jungkook was sitting right next to him. It made the boy panic a little. He moved slightly to the right to distance himself from JK so their arms were no longer touching. But it wasn’t the only chaotic move he did. Taehyung rubbed his cheeks, sniffled a few times, and cleared his throat. He wanted to take a deep breath but it ended up being separated into a few smaller and uneven ones. It was as if the boy tried to desperately calm down at once, but failed rather miserably.

"I know, you told me not to cry," he said between the cries with a shaky voice. "I'm sorry."

Jungkook was surprised that the boy remembered his request from the balcony. He smiled at these words, but mainly because Taehyung obviously didn't remember them as clearly as he should have.

"No. I told you not to cry a lot," Jungkook emphasized the last word. He really wanted to get this message through. "If you need to cry it out, just cry it out. So please, don't shy away from something so natural."

He didn't want Taehyung to stop crying. It was the other way around. If the boy needed to cry, he really should do it. Stop fighting the inevitable, stop fighting the tears if the battle was already lost, just let go for a while and cry out all these emotions that couldn’t escape his body in any other way. Sometimes it really helped.

All Jungkook wanted for the boy was to stop seeing it as a bad thing. Taehyung seemed to be embarrassed to be caught in such a miserable state, he was a little shy and tried to hide all the tears, just not to look so weak in front of Jungkook. But the truth was everyone had hard times like this—sitting in the corner of the room and crying their eyes out. It wasn’t something new and Taehyung clearly wasn’t the first person to feel like shit. It was a natural feeling for all the humans.

Yet nobody deserved to cry the whole night out. It was too much to handle no matter how shitty a person felt. That is why Jungkook wanted the boy not to cry a lot.

It took Taehyung a moment to understand JK’s words. But even when the realization finally hit him, all he could do was stare blankly at Jungkook, as if he wanted to make sure he was really beside him. He didn’t look away even when his eyes became wet once again. He finally stopped fighting the tears and let them freely fall down his cheeks. Taehyung slowly closed his eyes and completely gave up with a loud cry. He leaned forward a little and buried his face in his hands, closing himself in a small ball.

As devastating as this image could be, it made Jungkook happy. He put his arm over the boy and squeezed him tightly, trying to give him some strength—a gesture he would do for any crying person. He wanted Taehyung not to feel alone in all of this; to let him know that Jungkook was actually beside him, trying to help him cope with whatever was going on.

He thought this gesture would be enough for the boy to lean on his shoulder but Taehyung was still hiding his head in his hands. Only then did Jungkook realize that maybe the boy wasn’t familiar with such closure. That it was probably the first time he cried in front of another person. That he has never had someone who he could lean on in such a situation. That he was in fact lonely his whole life.

That is why Jungkook gently nudged the boy on the arm and guided his body toward his, pulling him even closer. Taehyung finally gave in and put his head on Jungkook’s shoulder, though his hands still covered his face. JK let him leave them like this, but he gently put his chin over the top of the boy's head, steadying him in his embrace. Taehyung was still shaking with each subsequent cry so holding him wasn’t as easy as it might seem.

But Jungkook didn’t mind. He would hold the boy as long as it was needed.

They sat like that for quite a long time, and the boy still wouldn't stop crying. This only made Jungkook wonder what it looked like when he wasn’t around. What about all the other times when the boy cried alone at night? How often did the nights like this happen? How often Taehyung cried the night away instead of getting some precious sleep? Did he sleep at all? How was he able to get through it alone? With nobody else to lean on? Was he doing it like that his whole life? 

It was such a tragic vision that Jungkook felt a shiver running down his spine. He didn't know why, but he couldn't let the boy continue to feel so lonely if he didn't want to be; he admitted it twice this evening. Taehyung could claim that he didn't want people to get to know him, that he didn't want them to know the real him, whatever that meant; that he had been planning something great his whole life, distancing himself from everybody and creating this holly image of walking perfection.

But deep inside he was just like any other teenage boy, dreaming of something more, something he thought was unobtainable in this life. Maybe all he needed was the right person to hold him close for a little bit longer and ensure him his dream was possible to achieve.    

That's why Jungkook immediately hugged the boy closer to him and lifted his chin a little to fit the boy’s head underneath it better. Subconsciously JK was kind of disappointed that the boy’s hair didn’t smell like his shampoo. It had a fresh ocean-breeze-like smell as if Taehyung had just come back from a day at a beach. But if it was the case, his dark waves wouldn’t be so soft. They had such an amazing texture that Jungkook almost forgot they weren’t the most important thing right now.

So he managed to get over these weird thoughts and focus on Taehyung and not only on his hair. He started to gently stroke his shoulder, hoping that maybe this would make the boy calm down over time. And it actually worked. After a while the boy's breathing became much more regular, he sniffled less, although he was still shaking slightly.

Taehyung claimed that he only came here because he didn't want to be alone at home and didn't need to talk, but given the circumstances, maybe he needed to say a few words. JK doubted the boy would confess anything, but he had to try. 

"Do you want to talk?" he asked as softly as he could.

At the same time, he moved away a little just to be able to look at the boy’s face. His cheeks were still wet and pouty, and he kept squeezing his eyes tightly. So much so his nose and forehead scrunched a little, leaving all the remaining tears on his long eyelashes. And even though the boy's jaw was firmly clenched and his lips seemed to be sealed forever, the answer to JK's question came faster than he expected.

"No."

Taehyung mumbled that one word into his shoulder and snuggled even closer. He got stuck to his right arm so tightly as if it was his safe place. A place in which he could hide from the world, hide from all the people and questions they asked him all the time; hide from that one thing that was bothering him, making him cry at night, and effectively making him get lost on the bridge twice.

Jungkook felt a little disappointed. Not because of the answer—he expected that the boy would stay silent and in this situation he had to respect that. He was disappointed because Taehyung moved a little to the side, which made Jungkook unable to put his chin on the boy's head in a comfortable way. So instead, he squeezed Taehyung's arm a little tighter. 

"It's okay," he whispered to reassure the boy.

Because nothing about this situation was okay. Jungkook just wanted Taehyung to know that he was okay with him keeping the reasons to himself. That even if he decided to stay silent, Jungkook would still be sitting right beside him. 

And he did. Time went by with a heavy rain banging on the window but Jungkook sat still, taking care of the ugly-crying Taehyung.

Fortunately, with every passing minute, it was raining less than before and Taehyung became more and more calm with each missing raindrop. And so, when it finally stopped raining outside, Jungkook felt the boy finally fall asleep on his shoulder. 

Apparently, anyone could get tired of constant crying and shivering and need some rest. However, Jungkook hoped that the boy didn't fall asleep like this every night. So that his body was simply too exhausted to continue and chose the much-needed sleep to function properly.

Again, sleep was what Taehyung needed the most. It was the only time at which the boy seemed calm. He looked so vulnerable, so innocent, so childish as if nothing had ever disturbed his wandering thoughts. Jungkook wanted him to stay like this for as long as possible. If only there was a way to make the boy feel like this while he was awake, in his daily life, not only in dreams. Jungkook wanted to find the solution but he was clueless as to where to look for it. 

Seeing Taehyung fall asleep so freely made JK sleepy as well. So much so that he felt his eyelids becoming heavy and he struggled to keep his eyes open. Jungkook didn't want to wake the boy up because he knew how much even a few minutes of sleep meant to him, but he couldn't stay like this all night. He wanted to go back to bed so badly but finally decided that he could sacrifice himself this one time. Even though he had a feeling it probably wouldn't be the last time, this night seemed to be somehow crucial for the boy. So JK only sighed and once again stared at the window.

Suddenly, Jungkook opened his eyes, and only after a while did he realize he must have drifted off as well. He didn't even know when he fell asleep or how long he was sleeping. Given how tired he was, it wasn't surprising at all that he lost the battle and simply dozed off. However, he was supposed to take care of Taehyung so he felt bad for not keeping his promise. 

And when he finally looked at him, JK realized that when he fell asleep his head must have been resting on the boy's. Jungkook quickly shook his head trying not to think about it and get rid of this weird burning feeling on his cheeks. It was a little embarrassing but luckily Taehyung would never find out about it.

The boy was still asleep, lying on his shoulder with a healthy pout on his face. His chest was raising and falling steadily with each breath he took. Jungkook could hear and feel him breathing on his arm and he was sure that if it was a little bit quieter he would surely hear his heartbeat as well. It was an oddly calming feeling.

He wanted to continue staring like this, but at some point, he realized that he couldn't feel his right arm—the same one Taehyung had been lying on for some time. And although he really didn't want to move and wake the boy up, he had no other choice. He would like to keep his arm and not get it amputated. Not because he needed it but because he would miss his tattoos.

Jungkook started to squirm slightly, hoping that it would be enough to wake the boy up. He wanted to do it in the least intrusive way; even better if the boy would wake up on his own. Unfortunately, Taehyung was still deeply asleep and Jungkook had to do something. He hesitated a bit but finally decided to act.

"Hey," he whispered into his ear. "Taehyung."

Only then did he realize that this was the first time he called him by his name. Maybe that is why his voice was so shaky and his breath so shallow? Jungkook didn't know why he cared so much about it, but he had a strange feeling that the name sounded different on his lips. Completely different from the times when Jimin or anyone else said it at loud. And he couldn't really tell why.

Jungkook hoped that it would be enough to wake Taehyung up because he was strangely afraid of saying his name the second time. Fortunately, Taehyung started to move a little and slowly opened his eyes just to assess where he was and what was happening to him. When he finally met Jungkook's waiting gaze, JK added.

"I can't feel my arm."

He gently nudged the boy with the same arm, as if to remind him that he was the one on top of it, stopping the blood from flowing properly.

Taehyung nodded slowly, but he didn't seem to understand that he was the problem here. His eyes were once again glued together, slightly swollen, and he basically looked like he was still sleeping. Therefore, when JK did not get the desired reaction for a long time, he decided that he had to act before the boy would actually fall asleep again.

Jungkook got up from the floor and helped Taehyung do the same. His body was weak and heavy in his arms, just as if the boy was unconscious. There was no use trying to transfer him back to the couch in the living room—it would take ages and be quite uncomfortable for both of them. So instead, Jungkook gently placed him on his bed. He didn't even have to struggle much; the boy's head almost immediately found the pillow, and his body curled into a perfect sleeping position.

It all looked so natural which only ensured Jungkook it was a good idea. He smiled to himself when he saw how peaceful Taehyung looked lying in his bed. It was such a promising look, so different from the crying mess he was some time ago. Yet, somehow both of these looks were so magical.

JK was ready to leave him and take his place on the couch; he didn't mind spending the rest of the night in the living room if the boy felt much more comfortable in his bed. However, when he saw how the boy was still shivering, he grabbed his blanket and covered him tightly. He leaned over Taehyung to make sure the blanket was placed just under his chin, so it wouldn’t slide over during the night. The last thing JK wanted for the boy was to get sick.

Jungkook froze for a second, and only after a moment, he realized he had been staring at the boy, admiring Taehyung’s beautiful sleeping face. His mind went completely blank when he saw such an image of the boy so he blinked quickly a few times just to get his brain to function properly again. Whatever it was, he had to get some sleep, because he was seeing things he never knew were possible.

And when he wanted to move away from the boy, Taehyung suddenly grabbed Jungkook's wrist, not allowing him to remove his hand from the blanket.

"I don't want to be alone," he mumbled suddenly.

These words took Jungkook by surprise. He didn't know if the boy said them consciously, although his condition indicated he probably wasn't; it sounded more like a gibberish sleeptalking. However, when JK wanted to remove his hand, the boy's grip on his wrist seemed to tighten. As if Taehyung really didn't want him to go.

And that thought paralyzed Jungkook a little as he stood over his bed, unable to leave. Not only because Taehyung was still holding his hand. But mostly because he found it hard to say no to the boy. How could he refuse him when all he wanted this whole evening was to not be alone? It didn’t matter if the boy was aware of his own words. Maybe now the request came from somewhere deep inside, maybe it came from the real Taehyung. And that couldn’t be ignored.

Jungkook knew damn well how it felt to be lonely and to have no one else by his side. And he remembered how shitty of a feeling it was. He couldn't let the boy feel the same way. Not when he probably felt like that his whole life. 

It took some courage, but Jungkook managed to silence his inner voice of doubt, took a deep breath, and finally climbed onto his bed. He positioned himself at a decent distance from the boy, to give him some space and feel comfortable as well, though he knew it would be rather hard for him to relax in this situation.

The truth was that no one but Taehyung had ever had the pleasure of sleeping in this bed. Even Jimin chose the couch when he stayed overnight, though Jungkook wouldn't mind sharing the bed with him. They did it thousands of times when they were younger. Well, Jungkook rarely minded sharing a bed; he'd often ended up sharing a bed in Atlanta, and he seemed to like it more than he cared to admit. Although the purpose of such sharing was quite different.

However this time, when the place by his side was taken by Taehyung, the feeling was just strange and Jungkook couldn’t really say why.

The boy's hand was still holding his wrist, although not as tightly as before. The grip loosened a little, suggesting he had finally fallen asleep. Taehyung turned to his side, so JK could feel his breaths on his left arm, somewhere below his shoulder. And even if Jungkook could easily take his hand away now, he never did it. He decided to keep it like this as long as Taehyung’s hand was wrapped around his wrist. If that was what the boy needed, he could grant him this one wish. Even if it meant his hand was once again occupied by the boy. Fortunately, this time it was the left one.  

The apartment became quiet again. Even quieter than when he woke up some time ago since it finally stopped raining. Just as the raindrops disappeared from the window glass, the tears on the boy's cheeks disappeared as well. And when the only sound Jungkook could actually hear was Taehyung’s steady breathing, he finally calmed down too.

And this made him fall asleep faster than he had expected.

Chapter Text

Jungkook started tossing and turning in bed, looking for his alarm clock, as soon as he heard that damn melody. He squirmed from left to right and back just to find his phone under one of the pillows. And when he half-consciously turned off that damn melody, something was wrong.

Only after a while did he realize that he shouldn't have been able to move around so easily since yesterday there was a human anchor attached to his left arm. He didn't notice it at first because he had been sleeping alone since he moved back to Austin, but there was clearly one person missing by his side. 

And it was once again Kim Taehyung.

Jungkook jumped to his feet. Unfortunately, the bed slightly complicated his plans and when he tried to get out, his left leg got tangled in the blanket and the boy fell to the ground. The fall was loud and painful, to the point that JK had to shout out a heavy curse. He rubbed his sore elbow and hissed another rather unflattering words at this damn blanket, then immediately got up from the floor. 

If Taehyung was still in his apartment, there was no way he didn’t hear his fall. Though it was more likely he heard Jungkook’s loud cursing. The lack of reaction meant that JK most probably was left alone. So just as he had expected, when Jungkook entered the living room he didn't find Taehyung there either. His belongings were also gone; his shoes, tote bag, and the blanket he had brought were no longer there.

It only meant the boy left his apartment for sure. Jungkook didn't know when it happened or why he didn't wake up. Again. It was just like the first time Taehyung slept there—he disappeared without a word even when Jungkook was sleeping right beside him on the floor. How the boy was doing that was still beyond JK’s comprehension. Maybe he was a ghost after all?

He ran a hand through his hair and slowly exhaled, looking around the room. He was a little worried about the boy—last night wasn’t easy for him. Jungkook had no clue how Taehyung felt when he woke up, in which mood he was right now, or if he helped him anyhow yesterday. Oh, how he wished he had woken up with him this morning. Maybe he would have been able to read something from his face.

Or it would be too awkward for both of them to wake up next to each other. Jungkook wondered if Taehyung was still holding his wrist back then.

As soon as he remembered how they fell asleep in his bed, how they sat cuddled together on the floor, and how his head was lying on the boy’s for a second, JK felt his cheeks turn red. He had to quickly convince himself that he would have done the same thing for anyone else in need. Only then that strange feeling tugging his heart finally went away.

Even if Jungkook was still worried he also assumed that as soon as he entered the school, Taehyung would be sitting on his favorite bench, as if nothing had happened. It has always been like this. No matter how devastating the state Jungkook saw him in the day before, the next morning Taehyung looked like a newborn, or maybe even better than ever.

And although Jungkook was sure he would see the boy again in less than an hour, this time he had this strange gut feeling. He hoped it was only his stupid stomach demanding some food; somehow he was extremely hungry which wasn’t usual. Jungkook believed it was the true reason for his guts twisting so much but he also knew how good he was with such hunches. Maybe that is why he started to worry a little.

He took a deep breath and headed straight to the kitchen. Only then did he notice a small object on the counter—a bottle of banana milk. He was surprised because he didn't remember placing it there; he would have never left a bottle of his precious drink unattended like that. All the bottles were always neatly organized in the fridge, on the second shelf from the top. Therefore, the discovery itself was quite suspicious.

He walked up to the counter to quickly solve the puzzle. There was a small note underneath a still relatively cold bottle. He lifted the drink to get to the paper. He smiled to himself when he saw a few neatly written words. He recognized the handwriting immediately.

Sorry for being a crybaby.

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. He grabbed the bottle and turned it over in his hand, gently caressing the label with his finger. It wasn't the milk brand he usually bought, but it was just as good. This meant that Taehyung had to leave the apartment in the morning, go to the store, and come back to leave this little gift. And again he did it in such a way that Jungkook wasn’t even aware of it, still deeply asleep in his bed.

He stared at the silly note Taehyung left him and somehow he couldn’t stop smiling. Jungkook found this quite unexpected gesture as an extremely adorable one and he couldn’t remember when was the last time such a small thing made him so happy.

In the end, he placed the note in the only place he found suitable: on the fridge. Somehow he felt it belonged there.

The rest of the morning went on pretty quickly as Jungkook arrived at school in a relatively good mood. Of course, when he got there, Taehyung was already sitting on his bench, drawing something in this brown notebook of his. Once again he looked immensely good and no one could have guessed he was ugly crying in his bed at night. How was he able to come to school the very next day and hide all the tear marks, reddened eyes and tiredness was still beyond Jungkook’s comprehension. If JK had cried for half of the night, he would have looked like a horrible messy mop. He would be nowhere near the perfect model-like student Taehyung was right now.

He opted for one of the shirts from his fancy collection. This one was mostly white and had colorful flowers embroidered all over it, forming a folkish and truly unusual pattern. It clearly was a handmade piece of clothing; maybe he even got it from one of the designers—it looked so posh. The weirdest thing about it was that he decided to dress up like this for a boring day at school. He should have worn it for some formal event or a fashion show; that was where such looks were the most appreciated.

However, there was nothing Taehyung could wear today that would make Jungkook forget what a crying mess he was yesterday. 

Because that image of Taehyung was still living rent-free in JK’s mind. He saw him sitting in that fluffy yellow hoodie, trying to fight off the tears and failing miserably. The salty sea-like smell of the boy’s hair was so strong as if his head was once again inches apart from JK’s lips. He still felt the tight grip on his wrist and Taehyung’s shallow breaths somewhere on his forearm. Jungkook couldn’t really tell why his body remembered it all so well. So much so this memory became so vivid.

It was a weird feeling Jungkook tried to avoid. However, he knew the only way to stop it was to finally find a way to help the boy. He could spend time with Taehyung whenever it rained, but at one point it would be too much, even for Jungkook. He couldn’t let the boy fall asleep from exhaustion each night and JK certainly didn’t want to witness it—it was such a heartbreaking image. There had to be a way to solve this case so both of them could go back to their normal lives.

He decided to try to subconsciously talk the boy into meeting with a professional. JK knew how much Taehyung resented all the therapists, especially his brother, but maybe there was a way to convince him it was in his best interest to meet one of them. If he truly wanted to change something, there was no other option. Unless Jungkook magically gets the right papers to be the therapist. 

It wasn’t happening anytime soon so instead Jungkook grabbed his phone to check the weather forecast for the rest of the week.

However, just before he opened the app, he felt someone hanging on his shoulder. Judging by the height, large arms, and considerably big force that was put into this gesture, it could only be one person.

“Kook, mate! How's it going?” Namjoon greeted him happily.

Jungkook was a little surprised to be addressed so casually by the boy but in the end, he had to smile. He liked Namjoon. They hit it off quite fast since their first quite intense meeting on the court. They had a lot of things in common, but still, Jungkook saw Joon more like his older, much cooler brother. There was something to him that gave off such vibes and maybe that is why JK felt so drawn to the boy. He wanted to be friends with him for real.

“How are we feeling today, hmm?”

“I'm okay even though I’m really tired,” JK responded sincerely. “Yesterday's training was… something else.”

It was probably one of the hardest training sessions he had in his life. And if yesterday he was just exhausted then today his body was completely sore. He barely moved, each movement being a great challenge for him. He considered himself a sporty guy, prepared for such physical effort, yet somehow Namjoon found a way to prove him wrong. But he also gave him a great motivation. JK promised himself he would work on his stamina and his body even more.

Jungkook also wondered if he would have been better rested, had Taehyung not come to his place yesterday. Maybe what made him so tired today was not only physical but also mental exhaustion. Meetings with Taehyung were never easy and yesterday’s one wasn’t an exemption. However, apart from their talk by the bed, Jungkook spent the rest of the night sleeping. He wasn’t sleep-deprived in the morning; on the contrary, once he lay down beside the boy, he had one of the greatest sleep in a while. It turned out that somehow the cause of his insomnia was also his sleeping pill.

“Sorry, bae. That's how we do it here.”

Joon shrugged and put his hands into the pockets of his navy blue jacket. He was serious when it came to basketball and training, but JK didn’t mind. He loved the professional side of Namjoon. That is why he grinned in response.

“I know. And I like it.”

Namjoon replied with a wide and sincere smile—the one that revealed his cute dimples, so different from his image of quite an intimidating team captain. The boy also nodded in a gesture of admiration, maybe recognition, which only made Jungkook happy. He didn't understand why, but he felt a little more disciplined around Joon. He wanted to impress him as much as possible and although he has never cared about the opinion of others, Namjoon’s one was particularly important to him. Maybe it was because of the boy's charisma or maybe because of his unique leadership abilities, but one thing was certain: Jungkook couldn’t let him down.

“That's why being a great team captain as I am, I'm inviting you all for an evening out,” the white-haired boy continued with a smile on his face. “There's a bar near the city center with amazing fried corn and soft drinks. We always go there as a team for bonding time and when we celebrate.”

Jungkook was glad to receive the invitation especially when such an evening out sounded extremely tempting. He still didn’t know the rest of the boys personally. He could tell their positions and how they played on the court, but besides this and their names, he was still clueless as to who he was on the team with. On the one hand, he wanted to know the boys a little bit better, but on the other hand, he knew it would probably backfire. They would ask questions about his past—questions he would like to avoid—and it would be really awkward for him to ignore them or worse: lie. He sucked at lying.

Despite his often intimidating persona, Jungkook was rather on the introverted side of the spectrum. Making new friends and meeting new people wasn’t a problem for him but he much preferred to hang out only with the most trusted people, those he could easily call his best friends. Maybe that's why he always got along so well with Jimin. They were each other's opposites.

But as much as he wanted, he couldn’t bring Jimin as his moral support for this evening, so he had to agree regardless of all the doubts. That's why he finally nodded in agreement.

“Cool, I'll send you the address.” Namjoon reached for his phone. He started taping something on the screen and suddenly added, “Also, why aren't you wearing the team's jacket, huh?”

Jungkook took a while to realize what was he asked about. He looked at the jacket worn by the boy, the same one he received with the school team’s uniform. It was supposed to be a symbol, a great honor of being a member of one of the greatest teams. But Jungkook never felt the strong need to wear it.

First of all, most of the days were too hot to even put the jacket on. He already had to wear long sleeves because of his tattoos; he didn’t need another layer on him. Secondly, he didn’t need it to feel like he belonged to the team. What mattered the most was the outcome, not some weird fame that seemed to be connected with having the jacket. Not with being a good basketball player, but with just owning that damn jacket.

However, it looked like Jungkook was the only one not interested in wearing the jacket, as the rest of the team flaunted its charm at every possible step. JK found it weird but he couldn’t tell Namjoon about it. Not when he was wearing one right now.

“Ah, it's just… Not my style.” JK found an answer that wasn’t that far away from the truth.

“Too colorful?”

Jungkook had to look closer at Namjoon to make sure he heard him correctly. But he couldn’t be mistaken; the boy was right. His closet consisted mostly of black and white clothes, but Jungkook couldn’t be blamed for liking these two basic colors. Or technically no colors at all. They were part of his sporty, comfy, and maybe slightly rebellious style. But the color wasn’t the main reason why he didn’t want to wear the navy blue jacket.

Joon felt Jungkook's slightly surprised look on him and finally looked up from his phone, giving him a goofy smile.

“Kidding.” The boy nudged him playfully on the shoulder. “Just know it's a huge privilege to wear it. That's how we show team spirit and you know how important it is for me. Also, chicks absolutely love it.”

Jungkook couldn't help but roll his eyes. This was the stupidest reason out of all he had heard. 

“You should try it,” the boy insisted. “Though I believe you don't really need help, right?”

This remark only made things worse. Out of all the people he knew, he hoped Namjoon wouldn’t see him as a good-looking guy or a school’s playboy. He wanted Joon to admire him as a person and most importantly as a basketball player. Maybe that is why JK shot him an unimpressed or even disappointed look. He didn’t need similar comments from Namjoon; he had Jimin for this.

But Joon wasn’t really bothered by this momentary awkwardness. He simply shrugged and added cheerfully, “Either way, see you later!”

He waved goodbye and disappeared before Jungkook could add anything. JK shook his head in disbelief as he couldn’t really tell how he felt about this conversation. In the end, he decided not to dwell too much. He just checked his phone to make sure he got the address from Namjoon and went straight to the classroom.

⊶⊷

Jungkook couldn’t tell when was the last time he had an evening out with his teammates. Or when he had an enjoyable night out with anybody to be honest. He forgot how it used to be to visit local restaurants for a quick meal or some small bars to grab his favorite milkshake and sit there for hours with his friends. They used to go out like this with Jimin a lot before Jungkook moved out. It was so nice to go back to this tradition even though this time it wasn’t his best friend he was partying with. 

The place was extremely nice and just as Joon had mentioned, relatively close to the city center. It was a small but quite crowded bar run by a lovely woman and her son. Its menu was quite simple: everything here had to do something with corn. From hot salted corn, through popcorn to chicken tenders with some crispy corn breading. It was like a corn empire built in the center of Austin. Apparently, all the corn was imported from their farm, just outside the city, which only added to the place's homely and family atmosphere.

The owner seemed to know the boys quite well, especially Namjoon. If they came here after all the important matches or for some quality bonding time, they must have been regulars. No wonder they knew each other so well.

They sat down at a table specially prepared for them. Namjoon took a place at the end of it, looking like a leader gathering his troops around. In a way it kind of was just like that, that is why Jungkook was happy when Joon gestured for him to sit on his right. JK gladly accepted the offer, as the boy was the only person he knew better from the squad. 

As he took his seat, in addition to a welcoming smile, he also earned a nod of appreciation. Jungkook decided to follow Namjoon’s advice and wear this infamous blue jacket for once—it was the least he could do for the team for this outing. It made them all look the same which, just as Namjoon had said, raised their team spirit a little. Besides, JK had to admit that the jacket itself was quite comfortable and even fit him in some way. It wasn’t as bad as he thought—he could wear it from time to time.

When everyone sat down and agreed on one big order, the boys immediately started chit-chatting. It was a part of this outing Jungkook wanted to avoid. He liked simple conversations but he wasn’t a fan of mindless blabbering and gossiping. He wanted to get on well with his teammates and try to talk to them but he also knew they would ask him questions he would rather not answer. Questions about Atlanta.

Jungkook wished he was here only with Namjoon. Namjoon would understand. Namjoon was cool.

For a long time, he played with a colorful straw he had put into his glass. He hoped that in this way he would become invisible to others and effectively avoid all the uncomfortable questions. In vain. Not even a minute had passed since JK took the first sip of his soda when he heard his name being called.

“Jungkook, you're from Atlanta, right?”

The raven-haired boy looked up from his glass and stared at the author of the question. It was the boy sitting across from him and to the left of Namjoon. Of course, it had to be his favorite teammate—Dean. It was no secret that they weren’t fond of each other since they played in the same position. Jungkook ignored his passive-aggressive comments most of the time, trying not to get triggered, but the boy had been getting more and more annoying with each training session. Gosh, JK hated people like him.

Dean was a tall and well-built guy. He was nowhere near Namjoon (such a sporty and bulked silhouette was simply unobtainable), but apparently achieving a similar figure was his goal. He liked to work out a lot and sometimes Jungkook felt as if it was one of his character traits. If not the only one. Additionally, he always had this stupid smile plastered on his lips, and if Jungkook ever saw a typical movie or book-like jock, Dean was most definitely one of them. How he hadn’t ended up in the museum as of yet, was still a mystery.

And maybe that's why JK didn't really want to get into this conversation. However, he saw that Namjoon waited for his answer as well, so he finally gave in. 

“I've only lived in Atlanta for the past three years. You can say I'm more from here.”

Because he couldn't fully say he was from Austin either. He only spent the longest part of his life here as a teenager. Nevertheless, Austin was the closest thing to a home he ever had. Although he didn't know if there even was a place on Earth he could truly call home.

“So you're back to your old playground?”

“You can say that,” Jungkook admitted. “I tried to get into this team when I was a freshman but before I could see the results, I was already in Atlanta.”

This statement caused a bit of a stir among the players who suddenly got involved in their conversation; as if they were trying to remember if they had seen Jungkook at this school before, a few years ago. In fact, some of them should have, since they were trying to get into the team at the same time. Then again, if he couldn’t recognize any of them, how were they supposed to remember him? Especially when he has changed quite a bit. So much so that Jimin himself barely recognized him.

Namjoon pinched the base of his nose as he tried to remember something and finally added with some uncertainty in his voice, “So it must have been you. The name on the top of the acceptance list. The only one higher than mine.”

Well, Jungkook never learned the results from those tryouts, simply because they were no longer relevant to him. He got accepted to the new team in Atlanta and that was all that had mattered. At first, he regretted not being able to play for his former high school but he decided to move on as fast as possible. It was the only way to get used to the new situation after moving to another city. Jungkook knew it all too well.  

However, knowing that he did better in tryouts than the current captain, a living legend of this team and school, stroked his ego a bit. Or maybe it just made him realize that he once had an incredible talent he so easily botched.

“But then you've never shown up to any of the training sessions. Now I know why,” Joon continued. “Well, I was pretty happy about it back then.”

He smiled shyly as if he was recalling some embarrassing memory. Jungkook didn't blame him though. If it was a competition for the title of the best rookie on the team, it must have really inspired young Namjoon. And if that was what shaped the boy's character and talent, then maybe there was one good thing that came from him moving to that damn Atlanta.

“You played for the Atlanta High School team?” asked the boy seated next to the Dean. JK completely forgot his name but the boy was a pretty good shooting guard.

“I did.”

“They're good.”

Jungkook grimaced. “Maybe. But only on the court. Outside… they’re quite a mess.”

His previous team wasn’t even half as disciplined and friendly as the one he was in now. The boys in Atlanta were really a mess and it was a great mystery how they managed to play so well and work together on court. They lacked someone like Namjoon; someone with great leadership skills who would make the team feel like the team, not the group of talented individuals. That was what Jungkook missed back then: the team spirit. There were only complicated relationships instead.

“It doesn’t matter as long as they're good at basketball,” Dean added with a shrug. “We lost against them in the national finals this spring. Yet I don't remember you on the court. And I would most definitely remember somebody like you.” 

The boy gave Jungkook a suspicious look and expected a specific answer. In fact, most of the guys wanted to hear the reason someone with similar talents didn't continue to play for such a successful team. After all, he could have contributed to another national championship, but he wasn’t even there.

“What? You didn't make a cut?”

Dean shot him a teasing look and the fact that he was the one who decided to provoke him, or rather use the opportunity to humiliate him, didn't surprise Jungkook either. JK wasn’t a threat to him on the court, so he had to show some dominance outside the court.

JK wanted to answer him in an equally defiant way, but before he could come up with a proper comeback, Namjoon cut in, trying to discipline the boy.

“Was it necessary, Dean?”

Of course, the boy completely ignored the team captain's warnings. “What? I want to know why he wasn't in the team if he claims to be that good. Don’t tell me you’re not curious as well.”

Dean tried to convince Namjoon as it was surely the one question on everyone’s mind. Even Namjoon, who was trying to be condescending and hadn’t asked Jungkook about his break from playing basketball yet, was probably also interested in the real reason for such a decision. It was natural: JK would have been curious as well.

But Jungkook had no intention of explaining his whole life to the boys, and certainly not to tell them stories about Atlanta, but he had to say something. Absolutely everyone was staring at him at this moment and he felt exposed. So much so that he only mumbled, “Well, I had to quit the team for… personal reasons."

“Personal reasons, my ass. That's the worst excuse I have ever—" Dean suddenly stopped, when Namjoon forcefully kicked his ankle under the table. The pain was quite visible on his face as well as a rising anger. “Ouch! Joon?! What the hell was that?”

But Namjoon wasn’t bothered by his complaints. He seemed to be irritated by the boy’s behavior, maybe that is why he warned Dean just a second later, “Just shut up before I make you quit for not-so-personal reasons, huh?”

Dean looked disgusted by the sudden reprimand as if he didn’t really understand why Namjoon took JK’s side. And the white-haired boy kept eyeing him until Dean finally dropped that feisty and offended attitude. He rolled his eyes and crossed his hands on his chest, locking his gaze on the sparkling soda in front. Only then did Namjoon turn to JK with an apologetic smile.

“Ah, Kook, sorry for that.”

“No worries.” He shrugged. “Do I look bothered?”

Because he really couldn’t be bothered by such comments and insinuations; they were nothing that he hadn’t already heard. Jungkook was used to being on other people’s lips and the nasty rumors people made about him. Well, he had already been involved in one of them in the very first week he got back to this school. If Dean wanted to insult him, he had to step up his game. Because those words were nothing compared to what he had heard in Atlanta.

Obviously, he preferred not to give the real reason why he had to quit the team. In fact, no one else besides him knew and JK had all the right to keep it to himself. If one day he decided to share it with someone, it would surely not be Dean. 

“Either way we'll take revenge and kick their asses this time, right?” Joon said rather cheerfully to lighten the mood a little bit and then suggested the toast, “I'm proud of us and what we have already done on the court. Cheers for us!”

Everyone raised their glasses to drink some soda. Everyone except Jungkook, who just glumly stirred his drink with a straw. He wished there was something stronger inside. Maybe then it would be easier for him to survive this meeting. 

He hoped that after what happened, no one would be brave enough to talk to him again, but of course, he was wrong. He wondered what he had to do for people to leave him alone. Sometimes he hated people for real.

“Mmm, Jungkook, how do you like the school then?” asked Kai, who was seated just next to Jungkook. Out of all the boys on the team, he was the most friendly one. Jungkook instantly took a liking to a boy who was still a junior but quite a talented one.

Maybe that is why he decided to actually talk to the boy. There was no reason to ignore him, especially when the topic he had chosen seemed to be more friendly.

“It’s different than I remembered it,” he answered, though he could barely remember what it was like three years ago. “My god, this school is all about gossip. How can you live like that?” 

“Funny you are the one saying that,” Namjoon laughed a little. “Aren't you friends with Park Jimin?”

“I am.”

“Then ask him. He's the biggest gossip girl here.”

As simple as that. Jungkook expected that his friend was fueling the entire gossip machine at school and JK even knew who was his partner in crime. However, he assumed that Jimin and Hobi weren't the only gossip girls at school. Since the entire community seemed to be living on these fake and rather far-fetched stories, everyone was equally guilty. 

Jungkook knew that nothing would probably change until his graduation, so whether he liked it or not he had to get used to such an extraordinary behavior of students. In general, he had to get used to a lot of really strange things that happened in this school. And he had only been here for a month.

“Can you also tell him to stay away from cheerleaders?” Dean added with a pinch of irritation in his voice. “He's hot, I get it, but he should leave something for us, right?”

Jungkook wasn’t overly happy to hear Dean joining the conversation once again, but in the end, he had to smile at his words. Jimin has always been popular among the girls and he used it quite often. No wonder other guys saw him as a threat. He was handsome, blond, and had that unique character that made people want to know him better.

He had that special something inside him that made Jungkook approach him on the very first day of school. And in that exact moment, JK knew they would be best friends forever. With a three-year break, but still best friends. Jungkook didn’t want anybody else. Once he Jimin, he had never Jimout.

That is why he responded proudly. “I can try to convince him but he's a natural flirt. It’s in his veins, you cannot change that.”

Unfortunately, Dean didn't like the honest answer. He grimaced once again and pushed his glass of soda aside. 

“Ugh, man. That sucks! We're the sports superstars here. We should be the ones first with the girls. Yet we're losing to a short blondie and a walking perfection.” 

JK automatically straightened up as soon as the boy mentioned two people close to him in a similarly contemptuous manner. Although he had known Jimin for much longer, the nature of his relationship with Taehyung also made him feel responsible for the boy. That's why he couldn't let some bastard talk shit about his people. 

"You better not use that term in front of Jimin," he said warningly, knowing how tense the blonde was about his height.

"Like I do care. We never speak." Dean shrugged which only provoked Jungkook but the boy continued before JK could interrupt him. "Anyway. Jimin is not such a big problem. He gets the girl, he plays, she goes back to the poll and we can use as well, so I don’t mind that much."

What he had said was wrong and disgusting in so many ways that JK had no idea how to respond to it. To think that Dean saw girls as things that came back to the poll after somebody used them? That people waited for their turn to play with them? Oh God, that made JK so sick. How was it possible that people like Dean even exist?

Jungkook doubted Jimin was such a playboy as Dean described him. Okay, he fell in and out of love easily, changing girlfriends quite often, but he had never been a one-night-stander. Unless he failed to mention it. However, if he had such a reputation, Jungkook would have probably already heard about it. And from various conversations with Hoseok, nothing indicated his friend was that dumb. Besides, Jimin would have never treated people like toys; not even his mortal enemies.

So how did Dean manage to compare himself to Jimin? That was crazy to think about but unfortunately, the worst was yet to come, as the boy continued.

"But Taehyung, that fucking walking perfection, he’s even worse. It would have been better if he just had a girlfriend. This whole one-flaw rule is just a pain in the ass. All the girls are hopelessly waiting for him to change his mind and miraculously date one of them. They’re so pure, almost untouchable. For what? They should be having fun with us! Wake up! It’s not a rom-com. He won’t date you, girl. Gosh, they're so delusional. I just don't get it.”

Jungkook didn't know what to say. All he could do was stare blankly at the boy sitting in front of him, trying not to punch him in the face. He put his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket just so he wouldn’t get tempted to do so. JK was sure that if the boy had said just one word more, he would have easily lost his patience and given him a purple mark under his eye. And maybe in some other places as well.

JK couldn’t stand hearing all these offensive words toward the two closest people he had in his life, but he decided it wasn’t worth it to waste his punches on Dean. Stupid people would stay stupid. No matter how much wisdom JK would try to punch into the boy.

Besides, no one really knew what was going on with Taehyung. Each day at school they saw the perfect side of the boy so Jungkook couldn’t blame them for assuming that he was better than ever. Nothing, absolutely nothing indicated that Taehyung might have had some problems. The way he looked, the way he behaved, the way he spoke to others; all of it was so damn perfect. Even Jungkook got fooled a few times.

However, it was probably the first time JK realized how much of an influence this imaginary persona had at school. At first, Jungkook thought Jimin vastly overreacted when he introduced Taehyung as the living legend of this place but now he was more than sure that all the students here had a weird and unhealthy obsession. Girls falling for him and confessing their feelings at any given moment; boys angry that they’re not the ones popular with the girls; people with low self-esteem feeling even worse while comparing themselves with the walking perfection; people with great self-confidence doubting themselves in his presence; and basically everyone jealous of the smallest interaction Taehyung had with other people.

And the one who stood in the center of this mess was Taehyung. He didn’t have to do much; actually, all he had to do was to sit on this damn bench and observe how the school goes even crazier with every move he made. This community was so toxic; no wonder the boy had problems with finding his identity. If there was a place ideal for building a completely new alter ego, a fake but perfect persona, it most definitely was this damn school.

Jungkook wondered if Taehyung ever imagined this school without him. If he wondered what it would be like when we’d be gone. Because Jungkook was more than sure that if it wasn’t for him saving the boy that day, this school would be dead silent for a long time.

It only made Jungkook even more upset. He couldn’t get angry at the injustice of the word; it was pointless and wouldn’t change much. But the fact he couldn’t defend Taehyung in any way made his stomach flip a little. He couldn’t stop all the rumors, he couldn’t make people see the different side of Taehyung, mostly because the boy kept it hidden at all times; even from Jungkook.

But what he could do was to confront Dean and his completely disgusting way of objectifying other people, especially women. Therefore, he muttered under his breath in a sarcastic tone, using the same words the boy did just a second ago.

“You don’t get many things, do you?”

Just as he had expected, the boy heard him loud and clear: people who like to slender others were always the first ones to react when they heard an insult pointed at them. No wonder Dean suddenly became tense and ready to fight back if needed.  

“What was it supposed to mean, huh?”

“That you are disgusting,” JK answered with a grimace. “Joon, is this the team’s mutual respect you were talking about?” 

JK asked and pointed his finger at a boy sitting in front of him. Remembering how much Namjoon valued friendship, respect, and trust among his teammates, Dean seemed to be everything opposite to these values. Especially now when he lowkey claimed he deserved to get some girls just because he was on the team.

Jungkook wanted to confront Dean’s controversial views with Joon’s principles. He wanted somebody else to take a stance in this conversation, just to confirm he wasn’t the only one who condemned similar behavior. He hoped Namjoon would take his side or at least act as a mediator since JK was slowly losing control each minute he had to look at that prick.

Namjoon thought for a moment, sighed heavily and then rightfully gave the boy a disgusted look. “He's right, Dean. Please, keep these remarks to yourself. Especially when they are quite… odd.”

“Oh, come on! You both talk like you have never had a girl.” Dean clearly didn't understand that he was the problem here. “And I bet you're not a saint either, Jungkook, so don't pretend to be one because I won’t believe you. Besides, you've got yourself quite an enjoyable ride lately, have you not?”

He stared curiously at Jungkook with that stupid smirk plastered on his lips. It was as if he wanted to show him that of all the people gathered at this table, he wasn’t the only one who had similar values. That Jungkook was equally guilty.

Okay, JK had to admit he wasn't innocent either; he had a few girls and boys in his life and he wasn’t really committed to all these relationships. But there was a huge difference between what he had done in the past and this strange way of treating people Dean presented in his monologue. Besides, JK left his old way of being in Atlanta together with many other things. So where did these insinuations come from?

“Did you give the birthday girl an unforgettable present? Did she like it?”

Ah, so it was still about the last party and those crazy rumors about him and Lisa. He thought people had already forgotten about it, but he was clearly wrong. On the other hand, he should have expected such a serious accusation would come back to him one day. Nothing got lost in this school’s community; he had already learned about it.

Technically neither Jungkook nor Lisa confirmed the rumor. However, if none of them openly denied it, then for a vast majority it meant there was nothing to deny. JK didn’t really care about his reputation but maybe he should have done something to prevent people from believing in this bullshit.

He hasn’t spoken to Lisa about it either. Every time they passed by each other in the school’s halls, the girl smiled and him shily, maybe even seductively, but never dared to approach him. Jungkook felt as if in this way there were even more rumors about them spread around the school but JK never listened when Jimin tried to summarize all that he had heard during the lunch break.

Maybe he should have listened back then because now he was facing Dean who seemed to know more about his love life than JK himself.

“Come on, spill some tea. Half of the school wants to have her but she’s quite picky with her choices. You’re a lucky man. How was it? I want to know if she is as good as she claims she is.”  

Jungkook crossed his arms and looked at the boy with the most stoic expression he could muster. He really didn't want to talk about it. And while comments like that didn't offend Jungkook much, he didn't want Lisa to get involved. She really didn't deserve to be treated like this. None of the girls deserved to be treated like this. That’s why he finally spoke up.

“I don’t know. Nothing happened between us.”

“Don't play dumb. Everybody knows about your little thing during her party.”

“Thing?"

“Do I have to explain to you how it works?”

“Please, do enlighten me. Maybe we were at two different parties.”

“Ugh, stop it. Everyone knows she becomes touchy when she’s drunk and you were just lucky she picked you that night. You’re no better than all the guys she had before, so quit acting like that. Instead, you can share some details. Don’t be shy, we have a bro talk here.”

To assume that he would share any details with them if anything happened was even more disgusting than the boy's earlier words. Basically, everything coming out of his mouth was more and more disgusting and Jungkook had to take deeper breaths just to control his anger. He could feel his hands naturally clenching into fists. Somehow his body was ready to fight not only for his honor but Lisa’s as well.

But before he could punch Dean in the face (a thing he wanted to do so badly), he tried to sort things out verbally. He leaned over the table and sent the boy a warning look just before he finally decided to confront him.   

“First of all, we're not bros. Secondly, I don't sleep with drunk people. And lastly, mind your own fucking business.”

He hoped that this would be enough, but clearly, he was wrong. Dean only smirked as if he hoped for a similar comment from JK’s side. As if he enjoyed teasing Jungkook as much and wanted to continue this passive-aggressive quarrel. It wasn't the end of it just yet.

“Gosh, why are you so touchy? Are you two lovebirds together already? She doesn't look like somebody for a long relationship, but… Oh, now I get it. That night had to be a really good one to convince her in the end. She had to come back for more fun, am I right?” 

“Listen carefully, you shithead. You can talk shit about me but stay away from her. Don’t treat her like that only because she’s not interested in you.”

“As if I do care for someone like her. Did she actually know with whom she was sleeping with or was she too drunk to notice it was you?”

That was too much. JK immediately rose from his seat and slammed his hands on the table. He did loudly enough for all the other conversations to stop at once. The restaurant went completely silent and everyone turned their curious gazes toward the two boys who were about to start a fight. Just as quickly, Namjoon's hands appeared between the two boys, ready to separate them if necessary. 

And the longer Jungkook stared at Dean's goofy smirk, the more he considered letting go of his principles and beating the shit out of him.

How could a person be such an asshole? How could he be so rotten, so cynical? JK didn't understand why such specimens even existed. Why such people lived their lives to the fullest while decent people were one step away from jumping off a bridge? It was so unfair. 

"Dean, you better go home right now," Namjoon said firmly and glared at the boy. “Unless you want me to help you get there.”

JK had never seen Namjoon so serious. Even that time when he was only pretending to be furious during his detention wasn't remotely close to what he had experienced now. Apparently, Jungkook wasn’t the only one who ran out of patience. And if before Joon tried to be rational and keep the conversation civilized despite controversial opinions, now he was way more vocal. The friendly team captain suddenly disappeared and JK was sure that Namjoon wanted to confront the boy as well. Or even make him leave this meeting.  

But it wasn't exactly what Jungkook needed right now.

"There's no need, Joon." JK gently pushed the boy's hand away from him, suggesting that he would not try to use his fists against Dean. Or at least not now. No matter how tempting a solution it was. "I'll go out to smoke anyway. I think it's less toxic than talking to this guy."

He pushed back the chair he was sitting on with a loud bang and stormed off. He couldn’t stand being in the same room with this asshole. The only thing he needed right now was some fresh air and no human interactions at all. He had enough of them for tonight.

Chapter Text

The air outside was colder and way more humid than in the morning. It was different from other rather warm evenings in Austin, but maybe for the better—Jungkook needed to cool down a little.

If he had to look at Dean's face for a moment longer, Namjoon would surely need to hold him back. Even if Joon was angry as well, he wouldn’t approve of such violence in a public family place and was probably the only one strong enough to actually stop Jungkook’s punches. JK didn’t want to look bad in Namjoon’s eyes that’s why he let go. Even though seeing Dean with a bitten face was pretty much a tempting image.

Instead, he took a few calming breaths, trying to forget this stupid conversation. He reached into the pocket of his jeans for a pack of cigarettes and sat on the small windowsill outside the place. He quickly cursed under his breath when it turned out that his lighter refused to cooperate. Fortunately, at that hour, many people were walking around the city center, entering bars and restaurants, and one of the passers-by was kind enough to lend him a lighter.

The taste of the cigarettes lifted his spirits a little, but not enough to make him forget about this hellish conversation. He thought that Joon's friends, whom he selected for the team, would be at least slightly more mature. And generally, they were; the rest of the boys seemed to be really nice. But of course, there had to be one completely dumb jock among them. Gosh, Jungkook hated such people and he have had enough of them. If it continued like this, JK would surely foul Dean during the not-so-friendly play. And it would not be by accident.

The cigarette burned out quickly, although it should have been the other way around. Each time he smoked alone on his balcony the time seemed to be stopped forever. So what has changed to make it pass so quickly just now?

He didn't feel like going back inside, but it was starting to get cold. And if Jungkook felt cold, it was cold for real. However, before he stood up, he heard a happy girlish laugh somewhere in the distance, and a moment later, he heard someone calling his name.

It turned out that most of the girls from the cheerleading squad suddenly appeared in front of the restaurant. In fact, he wasn't surprised that they came. One of the guys must have invited them, maybe even Namjoon himself. Since the team had a quality bonding time, the girls were also part of this team in a way. Maybe it was better that they wanted to join them—they could ease the tension a little. Jungkook just hoped that the rest of the evening would not turn out to be a festival of chauvinistic jokes provided by no one other than Dean. If so, JK would surely call it a night and go home.

Of course, Lisa and her friends were also present. They were a part of the cheerleader squad, so it was rather obvious they’d show up. Especially Lisa; she was the lead cheerleader and one of the most popular girls at school. She probably wouldn't miss an opportunity to go out with the team and the rest of the girls. Who didn’t want to have a nice evening out?

However, Jungkook was afraid that Lisa would not feel comfortable inside; not after what had happened just before. Other boys weren’t involved in their stormy conversation but they must have heard all these nasty words Dean said about her. It would be a little awkward to join the boy at the table. Jungkook could already see the nasty looks she would be given. Gosh, and this shithead Dean was still there. Maybe it would be better for her to stay away for that night?

Or maybe she didn’t care much about other’s babbling and all the rumors surrounding her? Because she surely must have been aware of all that had been said about them two being together or about what had happened at her birthday party. Jungkook just didn't know how she felt about all these rumors. He hadn't spoken to her since that night, and now he slightly regretted not approaching her first; even if she was giving him mixed signals.

Just like now. She stood to the left of the pack and pretended to be busy talking to one of the girls but she shot a few shy glances in his direction. JK didn’t know what to think about it. Should he warn her or just let her be? In some way, he tried to defend her just a moment ago, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. On the other hand, girls always had it worse. Ah, it was a tough call.

But before he could make up his mind, he saw Jennie approaching him with a wild smile.

“Hey, Jungkook, are the boys inside?” she asked cheerfully and JK simply nodded in response. “So what are you doing here?”

Jungkook quickly lifted the pack of cigarettes he was still holding in his hand. That should be enough of an answer, however, he knew it was only a part of the real reason why he was still sitting outside. That is why he added with a heavy sigh, “Besides, I needed a break.”

“Let me guess.” Jennie grabbed her hips. “Dean found a way to offend every possible person inside?”

That comment surprised Jungkook a little. Apparently, the girls were aware of what a piece of trash Dean was and were probably fed up with his weird behavior as well. JK felt good knowing he wasn’t the only one finding the boy’s behavior odd and disgusting beyond comparison. Maybe he should have punched him for the sake of the whole school.

Nah, if he wanted to make Dean’s life a little more miserable (or actually much more miserable), he should text Yoongi. The boy would surely know what to do. And if he decides that the only way to deal with Dean’s insanity is to use some punches, then Jungkook would gladly join him. 

“Well, you guessed right. He was a dick but mainly towards me and—”

He stopped when he realized that this time Lisa was listening as well. He didn't want to drag the girl into this conversation. It was better for her not to know how she was treated by Dean just a while ago. That's why he focused on Jennie again and said confidently, “Me. Just me.”

Fortunately, his momentary hesitation wasn’t suspicious as Jennie immediately rolled her eyes, irritated by the Dean’s behavior. Apparently, it wasn't the first time he acted like this.

“Gosh, he's a real dickhead. Maybe I can talk Joon into removing him from the team. He's a pain in the ass not only for you guys. I keep getting these creepy, pervy vibes from him.”

“Then be my guest. Do it before I punch the shit out of him.”

“You know, you can do it anytime you like,” she said and then pretended to check if anybody could hear them. “We'll cover for you.”

Jennie winked at him and he had to smile. He didn't think anything could make him laugh at that moment, but the girl somehow did. And Jungkook was truly grateful. Besides, if she really had such power over Namjoon, JK hoped that she would use it wisely. Something had to be done if Jungkook wasn’t the only one struggling in the boy’s presence.

“Are you going inside?” she asked as some of the girls had already headed toward the entrance.

He was still torn between the strong urge to leave this place and leaving this shithead behind and a will to accompany Namjoon for the rest of the evening. He wanted to talk to the white-haired boy a little more since conversations with him were never boring. The rest didn’t matter. Okay, maybe the team-boning time was also important, but their team spirit was greatly shattered that night by a few ridiculous comments. JK didn’t know if there was a way to fix it.

He sighed and just before he could answer, he saw in the corner of his eye that Lisa was once again looking at him. However, this time it wasn’t a random peer but a rather expectant gaze; the girl clearly wanted something from him. Well, it was high time they should talk some things through. His evening was already bad; it couldn’t get any worse than dealing with Dean. That’s why he decided to stay.

“I'll join you later, okay?” 

Jennie immediately understood what it was all about. She looked between Jungkook and her best friend and simply nodded. With a faint smile on her face, she called for the rest of the girls and went inside, leaving the two alone. 

It was way quieter outside which only made things quite awkward. Jungkook was still sitting on the windowsill, while the girl stood just in front of him with her gaze locked on her pink Nikes. It was the same model Taehyung wore yesterday evening, though the color was different. What a funny coincidence, huh?

Jungkook had never seen the blonde so stressed. Usually, it was the other way around. She was rather over-confident, radiating with a warm and successful aura. Just as if she was a superstar. But now? JK felt as if he faced somebody new.

Lisa didn't know how to start, so she just dug her pack of cigarettes out of her purse and offered one to Jungkook.

“I've just finished one.”

“You look like you need one more.”

To be honest, out of these two, Lisa looked like she needed a cigarette much more than Jungkook. But he wasn’t about to refuse either—he would love to smoke another one. 

So he just nodded and took one cigarette from her pack. The girl did the same and then lit both their cigarettes—her lighter worked. She sat down on the windowsill, right next to Jungkook, but kept a decent distance between them, just so their arms couldn’t bump by accident.

And they sat in complete silence for some time. Jungkook managed to smoke out half of the cigarette before Lisa finally spoke up.

“I'm sorry for my behavior at the party,” she said apologetically. Jungkook could really tell, she felt bad about how it went that day. “I had too many drinks and I acted like a complete fool. It must have been so uncomfortable for you. It is not how I wanted this evening to end.”

She certainly didn't want it to turn out this way. Jungkook, however, didn't blame her for this behavior. People did all sorts of things when they were drunk, and although the girl's behavior was indeed uncomfortable for him, she didn't cross any line that drunk people often crossed.

“I should have talked to you sooner but I was really ashamed to do so. I didn't want you to remember me as a drunk and clingy girl. I want to be the cool and stunning one. But I guess I blew it up the very first chance I got.”

She seemed really down, so Jungkook immediately chimed in. He didn't want her to feel bad about it; he didn't mind that much.

“Don’t worry, I don't tend to judge people while they're drunk.”

Lisa gave him a faint smile. Apparently, his words weren’t enough to make her feel better. There was still one thing they had to cover, maybe that is why she seemed to be even more stressed about her next words.

“And then the rumors started spreading and… I didn't know what to do. You never addressed them so I was silent as well. I know, I should have said that nothing had happened that night and I just passed out in my bed completely drunk but… I was so frustrated that it ended that way.”

She became more emotional with every word, using her hands for some extensive gestures. They were trembling a little, maybe that is why she finally put a few long blond strands behind her ear and glued her hands together; so they couldn’t get lost once again.

“It’s just… I really like you, Cookie, and maybe I was angry that you didn't immediately like me back. Call me delusional, but the reason I never said anything about these rumors… Ah, I just wanted them to be true so badly.”

It was a really messed up way of thinking that JK didn’t know what to say for a long while. All the time he thought the rumors might hurt Lisa, she was more than fine with them being spread around; even if they put her in a rather unfortunate position. As somebody quite popular at school she probably cared a lot about her reputation and such a rumor wasn’t really helping her.

She must have really wanted it to be true if she was willing to risk it all just for some moments alone with Jungkook.

Nothing good came from keeping this rumor alive. Lisa was seen as a girl quite easy to get while she’s drunk, and Jungkook got the tag of a guy who takes advantage of such situations. Perfect, just perfect.

At first, he wanted to scold the girl for being so inconsiderate but in the end, he decided not to. It wouldn’t change a thing so there was no point bringing her down even more. Instead, he tried to make her understand why her behavior was so stupid in a slightly different way. Maybe even lift her spirits a little. No matter how stupid and delusional her behavior was, she didn’t deserve to be treated the way Dean did.

“I know you like me… I just don't know if it is the best way to show it,” he started with a surprisingly soothing voice. “You were really drunk back then and if I were you, I would like to remember the whole night when it comes to those things.”

Because what was the point of doing this if one person was barely conscious? Taking advantage of somebody like this was not only morally wrong but simply unenjoyable; at least for Jungkook. He always enjoyed it way more, when both people had fun. That's why he never hung out with drunk people like that. This was his only rule when it came to these type of relationships. 

And although his comment was intended only as advice, nothing particularly personal, Lisa interpreted it a little differently. She smiled at him and asked playfully.

“Oh, so you’re that good?”

Only then did Jungkook realize how his comment might have sounded.

“Ah, no, no. That's not what I meant. It's… Ah… Generally, it’s good to remember such nights.”

His explanations were rather chaotic which only made Lisa laugh a little. Maybe for the better. They both became a little more relaxed, and the strange pressure disappeared, even if they talked about quite uncomfortable topics in such a casual way. That's why Jungkook allowed himself to make an equally playful comment.

“Well, I've never slept with myself so it's hard to tell.”

Jungkook shrugged nonchalantly and smiled at the girl. He could tell she liked that side of him.

“If you ever need an honest opinion I volunteer as a tribute.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

“So what's stopping us from doing it?”

She surprised him a bit with this question. Lisa's self-confidence came back faster than he had expected and once again he was too slow to act. JK has never met a girl who was so straightforward when it came to such topics, maybe that is why he froze for a second. And it was enough for the blonde to try and make a move as she scooped a little closer to him. Now their shoulders were touching and her hand gently landed on his forearm.

“You like me as well, Cookie. I can tell so please don't try to deny it. There's something between us, pulling us closer, don’t you feel it?” She gently stroked his hand with her finger, leaving a warm mark on his cold skin. “So why don't we give it a try? Just ask me out. You know I won't say no.”

Lisa was stunning. Everything from the way she looked to the way she behaved and treated herself was very much in Jungkook's taste and liking (maybe besides this weird after-party drama). If somehow they ended up together, it would be the best girl he has ever had. She was right: there was something between them that made Jungkook want to try it out. Lisa got his attention the very first time they met and he became curious ever since. And even if Jimin advised him not to go for it, there was still part of JK that was pretty much tempted to try.

Jungkook could feel his body almost screaming at him that he should do something about it but his heart was somehow distant. As if he had this weird feeling their relationship was not right. As it is something he didn't need right now. Except the physical aspect of course. That was pretty much tempting since he had met the girl.

He was still pretty much conflicted and Lisa’s expectant gaze wasn’t helping him at all. So to get himself a little more time to think it through, he started with something neutral.

“I… I have been so busy lately. I wouldn’t have time to treat you as a good boyfriend should.”

He knew it was only an excuse but he wasn’t lying either. He hasn't had time for anything lately. During the day he was busy with school and basketball, and as it turned out yesterday, he had to babysit Taehyung in the evenings. He never knew when the boy would show up at his apartment so he had to be at home for most of the time, ready to help him if needed. It would be awkward for him and Lisa to meet there.

Besides, he couldn’t focus on dating the girl if all his thoughts were still about Taehyung. What was he doing? How did he feel? Would he visit him today? JK could bet that the boy would still be on his mind even during the most romantic dates and moments with the girl. He couldn’t allow this to happen. The only way to start any relationship with Lisa was to finally find a way to help Taehyung. Maybe then Jungkook’s mind, body, and soul would find some peace. 

He felt like he was unavailable not only physically but also emotionally. His heart was weirdly closed on the girl’s charms and he couldn’t exactly tell why. When they first met it seemed to be pounding a little bit faster, but now it stood perfectly still. Maybe it was because he was still the one involuntarily involved? Because he cared for somebody else?

That must be it. He devoted so much of his time to Taehyung and only now did he realize how dependent on the boy had he become. Once it stops, everything will be back to normal. But he couldn't tell Lisa about it.

“There are a lot of… things I have to take care of.”

“Mhm. I understand. The days are quite short but… Are you busy at nights as well?” she asked suddenly. “I don't mind meeting only during nights.”

It was dangerously close to some strange arrangement that he had no intention of agreeing on, even though the offer itself was quite tempting. Many boys at his place most likely would agree on something like that. Well, Jungkook would probably have done it as well some time ago—it wouldn’t be his first time.

Maybe that is why he knew such beneficial relationships were of no use to him. He didn’t want to get fooled the second time.

That’s why he bit his lips as hard as he could, just to shut up his inner desires and a raging body that was trying to tell him he was making a huge mistake by refusing. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that it simply wasn’t right. It was another one of his hunches so he had no intention of ignoring it.

“I don't think that's the way,” he said calmly.

Somehow such a confession made a huge weight fall off his shoulders. He couldn’t tell why it was so comforting and he didn’t think about it much. JK quickly focused on Lisa trying to get her reaction to his refusal. The girl was still looking at him expectantly as if she hoped he would change his mind at the last moment. But when she realized his decision was the final one, she just sighed in defeat.

“So what now?” Lisa spread her hands helplessly. “Should I wait until one day you'll have more time to actually go out with me?”

It might have sounded silly but that was the truth. There was something about the girl Jungkook liked a lot so he decided that as soon as he put an end to all his current affairs, he would give her a chance. She deserved the proper treatment and the only way to get it, was to wait until Jungkook would be fully available. However, something told him that it wouldn’t happen anytime soon. 

He didn't want to deceive the girl for so long, so he simply nodded halfheartedly. “I’m sorry it turned out like this.”

“It's okay. I'll just keep on reminding you about my existence from time to time. Maybe you'll be available just then.” Surprisingly she was quite happy with such a scenario. “And I'll stop drinking during the parties.”

Lisa bit her lip flirtatiously, but she didn't have to do it for JK to understand what she was referring to. She still hoped that Jungkook would change his attitude toward spending some of the nights together, but JK also knew he would not get tempted so easily. The only thing he was afraid of were the parties at which Lisa would look absolutely stunning and be completely sober; everything pretty much to his liking. Then he would have no excuses.

That is why he quickly shook his head to get rid of similar thoughts and stood up. He had already finished his cigarette, so he threw it away in the ashtray on the edge of the local trash bin. When he turned back to the girl, she was still sitting on the windowsill and smoking the rest of her cigarette. Well, she was mostly the one talking; no wonder she had some of it left.

At this point, they probably had said everything that had to be discussed between them. There was no use in making this conversation any more awkward and longer. That is why Jungkook pointed toward the entrance.  

“Are you going inside?”

Lisa shook her head quickly. “I need a second. But can you tell Jennie to come here?”

He nodded because that was what he could do for her. Besides, he wasn’t surprised that the girl wanted to stay outside a little longer; she was still smoking and probably needed a moment to think their conversation through, maybe even talk about it with her best friend.

The only thing that concerned him was the weather. He could see that the girl started to get cold as she crossed her arms and rubbed them gently. And if Jungkook was chilly after spending some time outside, then Lisa must have been freezing for real. Especially when she came here dressed in a rather short pink dress and an equally cute fluffy cardigan.

Jungkook sighed. He hesitated for a while but in the end, he channeled his inner gentleman and took off his jacket. He gently put it on the girl’s shoulder casting her a faint smile. Well, he didn’t need it inside; Lisa would surely make better use of it. Besides, he wasn’t a fan of the team’s jacket and blue was never his color anyway.

Lisa whispered a quiet thank you and focused on her cigarette. Jungkook knew it wouldn’t make their relationship easier but it was just a friendly gesture he would do for anyone. So he hoped the girl wasn’t reading too much to it. 

JK went inside but no one really noticed his grand re-entrance. Most of the guys were talking to the cheerleaders who sat comfortably between them as the sitting order had slightly changed. Jungkook immediately looked toward his chair which wasn’t occupied. Same as the place where Dean used to sit—this one was taken by Jennie who was casually talking with Namjoon.

Maybe she had already convinced him to get rid of this shithead, he thought as he was walking toward his seat.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dean sitting at the other side of the table, talking to one of the girls who clearly wasn’t interested not only in him but in the whole conversation as well. Maybe for the better. If the boy was still seated in his original place, Jungkook would immediately go home.   

“Kook, you're alright?” Joon asked the moment JK sat back in his chair.

“Yeah,” he mumbled and nodded lazily but the truth was, he already had enough of this evening. “Also, Jennie, Lisa is waiting for you outside.”

The brunette looked at him carefully, curious of a similar request. He knew she tried to read something from his expression and the way he behaved; as Lisa’s best friend, she must have known about their relationship or whatever there was between them. Maybe she knew what they were going to talk about just a moment ago. Maybe she even helped the blonde to put all her thoughts together. Jungkook knew that for girls it was always a team’s effort.

And even though Jennie could have asked, she didn't. She just silently nodded, took her leather jacket with her, and went outside, leaving the two boys behind.

Namjoon took a good measure of the boy, trying to figure out what was wrong—because something was clearly not right. And when Jungkook was still silent and focused solely on his soda, Joon finally spoke up, “I'm sorry for that.”

“You’re not the one that should be apologizing.”

“Yeah, but I still feel uneasy. It should have been a fun night out, but Dean acted as a total dick. Not the first time though.”

Jungkook scoffed. “Maybe you should revise the team squad then?”

“Maybe I should,” Namjoon admitted with confidence. “He only became such a jerk recently. I kept him in the team because there was no better option but now we have you. It was probably the last time I tolerated such behavior. I don’t want to be associated with people of questionable morals. ”

He didn't expect such a sincere answer from the boy. However, it immediately made him feel better. Maybe because Namjoon complimented him in some way? The boy appreciated his basketball and social skills, and his opinion was extremely precious to Jungkook. Or maybe it was somehow the promise that Dean would no longer be a part of the team? Knowing that soon he might not see this idiot's face during training improved his mood significantly. So much so that he immediately started drinking his soda.

He and Namjoon talked for a while about various other topics, leaving the unpleasant encounter with Dean somewhere behind. The white-haired boy wanted to make up for that stupid quarrel and make Jungkook feel comfortable and happy about this night out. JK saw his great efforts which is why he tried to relax a little and enjoy this small conversation with the team’s captain. Especially when he had so many fascinating things to say.

Surprisingly, Namjoon started telling him the plot of one of the books he had been reading recently and Jungkook was quite shocked that someone like Namjoon actually spent time reading something. He thought that popular sport-oriented students were a little bit different. But Joon once again proved him wrong.

He was an amazing student; teachers never complained about him as he was one of his favorites, his grades were beyond average and he never caused any trouble. How on earth was he able to combine being such an intellectual, morally decent person and an amazing basketball player at once? That was extremely impressive. Even for Jungkook. No wonder his jersey was already legendary. It made JK even more excited to share the basketball court with him. Or maybe just spending some time together was enough to light up his mood.

He felt like a shy kid who made friends with the most popular high schooler. It was such a flex.  

The time spent talking with Namjoon went so fast that Jungkook didn’t even notice when the food appeared on the tables. Good; Jungkook was extremely hungry. He thought he wouldn't be able to swallow anything after such emotional conversations but when he felt his stomach growling, he had to take one of the deliciously looking corns.

And when he was about to take the first bite, suddenly the restaurant door opened. Lisa and Jennie hurried inside; Jungkook almost forgot they were still sitting just in front of the building. The blonde held his blue jacket over her head, and the brunette tried to quickly tidy up her slightly wet hair. 

Jungkook automatically looked out the window, only to see streams of water flowing down the glass. He sat still for a moment, watching the heavy rain just outside the restaurant. He froze for a second as if his body had come to a conclusion seconds before his mind could follow. 

And only then did he realize that he shouldn't be here.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath and stood up as quickly as he could.

He didn’t care about anybody or anything as he immediately rushed toward the exit. Of course, his sudden behavior was quite surprising for the rest of the pack gathered inside who stared at him in confusion. Namjoon was the first to react, just as Jungkook put his hand on the door handle.

“Hey! Where are you going?”

“I… I just have to go,” JK replied in a hurry and stormed off without looking back.

It was raining cats and dogs, so much so that the sidewalks and streets became flooded in just a few seconds. But Jungkook wasn't overly worried about getting wet as well. He ran to the nearest bus stop, trying to ignore the raindrops blurring his vision and his wet hair falling straight into his eyes. He just had to catch the first bus home. It would take him at least half an hour to get there, but he couldn’t afford to waste any minute. Not when whether he was at home or not mattered so much.

Gosh, he was supposed to check the weather forecast for the rest of the week. He even clicked this goddamn app on his phone but that was the exact moment when Namjoon approached him. And ever since he got invited for a friendly night out he completely forgot about the weather. He was stupid, extremely stupid, and he hoped that his stupidity wouldn't do him any harm.

He didn't know if Taehyung would actually decide to visit him this evening, but judging from every last time it was raining, it was more than sure. Especially taking into consideration the events of yesterday’s night. What if he needed some safe space? What if he once again didn’t want to be alone? What if he needed him?

Shit, he had promised Taehyung that he could visit him every time it rained, but instead, Jungkook let him down and left the house when he was needed the most. He hoped that Taehyung hadn’t broken their agreement and did something really stupid just because he had no one to talk to or a place to hide from the rain. Damn, it couldn't end like this.

JK nervously tapped the bus railing with his fingers as if it could make it drive faster. Of course, it didn’t but fortunately, there wasn’t much traffic at this hour so the ride went quite smoothly, despite the heavy rain. So when they finally arrived at his bus stop, he immediately jumped out, almost knocking over an elderly woman. But this time he didn't really care much. 

He ran toward the house as fast as he could. He couldn't remember the last time he had run so fast; even on the court during the most tiring training and matches, he was considerably slower than he was now. He didn’t know where this additional energy came from but he didn’t want to waste time on detailed analysis. There was only one thing that mattered at this moment—getting home as quickly as possible.

He hadn’t seen the boy anywhere along the way to his apartment, which was an equally worrying and promising sign. Jungkook assumed the boy wouldn’t be wandering around the neighborhood in the heavy rain but with his crazy mindset anything could happen. So he quickly reached into the pocket of his jeans in search of the keys. His hands were completely numb from the cold and freezing rain, so it took him a while to find the right key and open the staircase door.

When he finally succeeded, he started running up the stairs, taking several of them at the same time, just to get to the fourth floor as quickly as possible. He reached the final landing and stopped dead in his tracks. He could feel his heart stopping for a moment only to start beating again a second later.

Taehyung sat on the stairs, right next to the door to his apartment. He gently rested his right arm and head against the wall and in this exact position, he took a small nap. He took steady breaths as his chest rose and fell with each subsequent one. The boy wore the same yellow hoodie as yesterday and as it wasn’t anyhow wet, Jungkook assumed Taehyung got here even before it started raining.

The most important thing was that Taehyung was safe and sound, far away from any potential demons that could take control of him that night.

And only when that weight fell off his shoulders, did Jungkook realize what had actually happened. Ever since he saw the rain outside the window at the restaurant, he had been acting automatically, subconsciously doing everything just to get home as fast as possible. His mind was gone and his body simply acted on an autopilot. The rain triggered a weird reaction in his body and in a way, he was as much dependent on the rain as Taehyung. However, the outcome was quite different.

Jungkook didn't understand why he cared so much about it; to ditch his teammates and get completely wet in the pouring rain, just to come back home only to see it Taehyung was there as well. Why it suddenly was the most important thing in the world? To the extent, that he stopped thinking rationally for at least last forty minutes. And why did he feel so good when he finally found the boy comfortably napping at his door?

He had never felt this way and he couldn't quite name the reason for it.

Only now did he finally feel tired from the constant running. Only now did he run out of breath as his lungs were burning from the cold and humid air. Only now did his wet clothes start to weigh on him, restricting his movements. Only now did his body start to shiver from the freezing rain. Only now did it all hit him at once. It was as if nothing else mattered before except the boy.

Jungkook finally exhaled and slowly climbed the stairs to stand over the sleeping boy. He assumed Taehyung couldn’t have been deeply asleep; it was rather hard to do at the staircase while it was still raining outside. If he were Taehyung, he would have sensed long ago that someone was obviously staring at him or the simple door slamming would be enough to wake him up if not give him a heart attack.

But Taehyung was different. He still had his eyes closed which were slightly covered by his black bangs, contrasting starkly with his pale skin. Even if he wasn’t outside, Taehyung still must have been cold; the staircase wasn’t the warmest place on Earth right now. It was better for them to move into the apartment. Apparently, both of them needed some hot tea.

However, the longer Jungkook looked at the boy, the less he wanted to wake him up. Sleep was the only thing that helped him, so he didn't want to deprive him of it. Especially when the boy probably fell asleep quite naturally, not because his body was too exhausted or too tired to continue. It looked like a really healthy and blissful nap. So much so that Jungkook wanted to have one like this as well.

But as much as he wanted to sit down beside Taehyung, they couldn't stay here all night. So JK finally leaned over the boy to gently nudge his shoulder. He was inches from touching him when at the last moment he hesitated a bit. And it was the same moment in which one of the drops lazily slid from Jungkook's wet hair and fell perfectly onto Taehyung's face.

Jungkook carefully watched as it slowly fell down his cheek until it reached his jaw. He fought the urge to gently touch the boy's face and wipe the drop off. It looked dangerously similar to the tears he had seen last night, and it was a sight he never wanted to see again. 

His hand automatically traveled to Taehyung’s cheek, and just when he was about to touch his fair skin, the boy suddenly started moving around. Jungkook immediately took back his hand, just a second before Taehyung finally opened his eyes.

He looked around for a moment as if trying to remember where he exactly was. Only after a while did he realize that he must have fallen asleep on the staircase and it was JK who woke him up. He straightened up and sat on the stairs, then shook his head, which was slightly numb from sleeping in this position.

“If you're still sleepy, the bed will be a much more comfortable place,” Jungkook whispered and shoved his head towards his apartment's door.

“No, no, it's fine,” Taehyung protested; his voice still sleepy. “I must have driven off for a while.”

At this point, Jungkook should have straightened up as well and started opening the door to his apartment, but he couldn't look away from Taehyung's sleepy eyes, which were watching him closely. Only after a while did Taehyung frown slightly, as if he realized something.

“Were you running just now?” 

That must have been a pretty obvious conclusion. He was soaking wet, out of breath, and probably still shivering from the cold. Suddenly Jungkook felt a little embarrassed, as if what he had done was out of place, when in fact it wasn’t. He immediately turned to face the door, naively thinking that the state he was in would be harder to notice from a distance. Of course, in vain.

“I'm sorry. I should have been at home earlier,” he mumbled a quick apology as he tried to find the right key.

“It's your home. You can be away whenever you like.” Taehyung shrugged and slowly got up as well.

“Yeah, but I told you to come here whenever it rains. And I meant my place, not the staircase.”

Jungkook felt bad for not being home on time. It was as if he had guests and made them wait for him outside. This wasn't how it was supposed to work, so he felt a strong need to apologize. Especially when Taehyung wasn't an ordinary guest. Even though their relationship was quite different than it used to be, Jungkook still didn't trust him. There were no guarantees something stupid wouldn’t come to the boy’s mind and JK absolutely couldn’t let that happen.

Taehyung, however, had a slightly different take on that. “Stop it. You're not going to check the weather forecast every day, just for me.”

Oh, how ironic. It was exactly what he was about to do this morning before Namjoon interrupted him. Taehyung couldn’t know about his plans, yet Jungkook felt kind of embarrassed; almost as if he got caught red-handed. That is why he quickly looked down and focused solely on finding the right key.

He opened the door quickly and hurried inside before Taehyung could read something else from his chaotic behavior. The boy followed slowly, left all his stuff in the hall—same as he did it each time he visited him—and went straight to the living room. JK didn’t watch him as he had already grabbed the kettle and poured some water inside. He desperately needed something hot to drink and he was sure that Taehyung needed just the same.

However, first of all, he had to get rid of the wet clothes he still had on him. He was completely soaked; his body heavy and cold from the great effort he made to come back home on time. He could feel his lungs burning as he started coughing slightly and at that point JK was sure that a hot shower was more than necessary if he wanted to function properly for the rest of the week. That's why he grabbed some fresh clothes from his closet and headed toward the bathroom.

As he walked through the living room, Taehyung was still standing somewhere in the middle. He wasn’t moving at all, almost as he froze in one place staring impassively at the window. In these conditions, with the lights on, one couldn’t really see the outside; the only things visible were his reflection and some of the raindrops racing down the window glass.

Jungkook was a little surprised to see the boy in such a state but decided not to read too much into it—whenever it rained Taehyung seemed to be a different person. Still, JK was pretty much worried.

“Tea should be ready in a minute. I'll just take a quick shower, okay?”

Taehyung gently turned over his shoulder and nodded slowly, but didn't say anything. His behavior was odd but nothing out of the ordinary for a boy when it came to rainy conditions. However, Jungkook once again felt uneasy seeing Taehyung so quiet and distant, which is why he tried to finish up the shower as fast as he could. He’d like to relax more under hot and soothing water but there was no time for it. He only made sure not to feel cold, quickly changed into warmer clothes, dried his hair thoroughly with a towel, and returned to the living room.

Two cups on the kitchen counter were still empty even though the water in the kettle was already boiling. It only meant that in these last minutes, Taehyung didn’t move an inch. The boy stood exactly where JK had left him, still staring at that damn window. This was quite disturbing, so this time Jungkook had to intervene immediately.

He carefully approached the boy and stood just beside him. He tried to read something from his face but it looked like it was completely drained from emotions. Taehyung didn’t seem to notice Jungkook’s close presence or simply decided to ignore it. However, judging from his blank stare it was most probably the former one. The boy looked as if he was frozen in time and no sound or gesture could reach him—Jungkook could wave his hand just in front of his eyes and he still wouldn’t notice.

“Hey, what's happening?” Jungkook asked when this weird state the boy got himself in started to be quite frightening.

And for a moment he thought that Taehyung would not answer him and be staring at the window for the rest of the evening. Fortunately, after a while the boy finally regained consciousness. He slowly lowered his head and then vigorously wiped his face with his hands. Then he sniffled and finally looked at Jungkook.

“You were right,” he whispered with a shaky voice. “I do need help.”

Chapter Text

There were no words that could describe Jungkook’s mood. He was disappointed, tired, and angry; all at the same time. He was one silly comment away from exploding and harming everyone around him. Actually, he was sure that even the smallest touch or brush on his arm would make him go nuts.

All because of his favorite mathematician and his weird way of being. The man just told him off in front of the whole class, saying how much he sucked at math and underlined that he in fact was the worst student he had ever had. It was the weirdest five minutes of JK’s life: he had to listen to somebody talking shit about him without being able to talk back. Well, he had many nasty comebacks prepared but in the end, he didn’t dare to use them. He didn’t want to get himself in more trouble than he already had.

He could feel Yoongi tensing up in his seat beside him and JK was more than sure, he’d be the first one to react and try to defend his honor. He didn’t exactly needed it at that moment so he just discreetly nudged him on the arm, so he wouldn’t do anything stupid—as if that could stop Yoongi from doing whatever he wanted. Surprisingly, this time it worked, and the boy just glared at the teacher grunting each time the man said something controversial.

The aftermath of this shitshow was the man ordering Jungkook to attend some extracurricular classes to make up for what he was missing. JK had absolutely no time for such things which directly collided with his basketball training, nor he was eager to look at the man more than it was necessary. Well, lately he didn’t have time for anything really and he didn’t care about his grades now either. He had much more important things on his mind.

JK at least hoped that he would not be alone in this hell. Yoongi never paid attention during math classes; he also didn’t bother to bring textbooks, only sometimes he wrote something down on a few spare sheets of paper. Jungkook was more than sure the boy’s grades were similarly bad, however, as it turned out, he passed all the exams. And with some decent scores as well.

Jungkook had no idea how did it happen but it only meant he was truly left alone in this fight with the crazy mathematician. That’s why he threw his math textbook into the back of his locker with a loud thud. Just as if the damage done to the book could also harm the man. As if the book was his voodoo doll. Sometimes JK wished it was that simple. Then he would surely burn all the pages of that shitty textbook one by one.

A moment later he heard someone quietly leaning on the wall right behind his locker. Knowing that no one at school was brave enough to approach Jungkook in such a furious state, there could be no mistake about their identity.

“Jimin-ssi, I'm not in the mood for a talk right now,” he hissed but in a friendly manner.

He expected to hear a silent apology or even a sassier response. But when there were none of the witty-one-of-a-kind comebacks, JK growled in irritation—it only meant Jimin got offended by his remark. That was the worst-case scenario because he clearly wasn’t in the mood for mindless arguments. And having Jimin grumpy for the rest of the day wasn’t appealing either.

He didn’t want to explain himself but it turned out there was no other way to calm his best friend down. However, he knew it wouldn’t be easy, so he just slammed the locker in resignation.

Only then did he realize that he wasn't talking to Jimin. In fact, it was somebody not even remotely similar to his Jimin. Jungkook didn’t know what possibly could happen to make him mistake these two boys. Yet that was exactly what had happened, as he faced no one else but Taehyung who casually leaned on the lockers and observed him with a curious gaze. 

He had his brown bag slung over his shoulder as today he decided to wear one of the pastel-colored shirts. As usual, the top button remained unbuttoned, and the perfectly ironed collar seemed to be married to his sharp jawline—they were made for each other, inseparable since their first meeting. The boy also had well-styled and neatly combed back hair, revealing more of his handsome face. He looked really good. Once again, JK couldn't believe it was the same person who cried in his apartment.

Taehyung spent the last night at his place but something felt different about that night. Mostly because of that one confession he had made—the boy finally admitted he needed help. Those words hit Jungkook hard. He waited for them so long and he was oddly happy to finally hear them from the boy. JK hoped it was a promise of a better future.

Jungkook knew nothing would change just because Taehyung finally spoke up but it was the right move. He could still hear Taehyung’s quiet sobs for most of the night, as to confirm the confession wasn’t the end of his fight but just a mere beginning. JK felt bad lying in his comfy bed, while the boy was once again crying his eyes out and leaving all his tears on his favorite pillow on the couch. He wanted him to stop tormenting himself because the longer Taehyung cried the more difficult it was for Jungkook to fall asleep.

JK considered going to the living room and comforting Taehyung the way he did the last time. But the moment he grabbed the blanket and was ready to get up, the sad sobs suddenly stopped—Taehyung must have finally fallen asleep.

Unfortunately, Jungkook wasn’t as lucky. For a moment longer he sat on the bed, motionless, trying to gather his thoughts and force his body to follow in Taehyung’s footsteps and get some sleep. And when for the next half an hour nothing helped, he gave in and popped one sleeping pill. Surprisingly, it worked.

So much so that he managed to fall asleep and wake up together with his alarm. Of course, the moment he woke up, he was already alone in his apartment. Taehyung disappeared, this time without leaving any note or a gift in the kitchen. Overall, he left his apartment without saying much. The only words that escaped his mouth that night were the ones asking for help. After that, the boy completely closed on the world and hid under the blanket on the couch. Jungkook didn’t ask or push the boy anymore. He knew that these few words were already hard to say.

Maybe that is why Jungkook slightly panicked when he realized how badly he treated the boy just now. Such an attitude was unnecessary; Taehyung didn’t deserve to hear his moody comments. Well, if he was Jimin, he wouldn’t deserved it either, but Taehyung’s case was much more complicated. 

“Ah, sorry. I thought you were Jimin,” JK apologized quickly.

“I'm not blond and sassy enough to be him.”

Much to Jungkook’s surprise, Taehyung said it rather jokingly and cast him a faint smile. And at this point JK wasn’t sure what surprised him more: the oddly accurate comparison the boy made or the way Taehyung casually spoke to him at school. Because he rarely did. Okay, they had their fair share of conversations on the patio but this situation was new. Something must have been up but Jungkook couldn’t really tell what as of yet.

That is why he just nodded. “True.”

Taehyung was so different from Jimin in so many aspects that it was a miracle that Jungkook managed to collect both of them as his closest acquaintances. Well, Taehyung kind of happened to get this status by accident but still; JK wanted to befriend him, the real him, just so it could make the boy understand it was possible.

However, subconsciously he tried to imagine what it would be like if Taehyung was just as sassy and blond as Jimin. To be honest, Jungkook believed there was a lot of sass hidden somewhere deep in the boy’s character but he hasn’t found the right opportunity to show it. As for the color of his hair, Jungkook was more than sure that with such a handsome face Taehyung could pull off any color; no matter if it was a vibrant red or a ginger perm. He would probably find a way to even make the blue hair look royal.

“You're not in the mood for a conversation?” Taehyung asked with his deep voice, reacting to his previous words and behavior.

It wasn’t that Jungkook didn’t want to talk right now. He just didn’t want to talk to Jimin. He knew it would be another mindless conversation and a gossip session, so he wanted to spare himself this torture. At least for now. 

Taehyung however was quite a different story. Their conversations had undoubtedly greater value as each of the words could have a huge impact on the boy and his behavior. That’s why Jungkook had to push aside all his minor problems or mood swings and focus solely on Taehyung. Just the way he has been doing it lately. 

“Ah, it's nothing.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Just a bad day.”  

“Tell me,” Taehyung asked and seemed really interested.

So much so that Jungkook had a feeling he wouldn’t tell him the real reason for his visit unless JK confessed what was really bothering him that day. He was surprised that Taehyung wanted to voluntarily listen to his whining, but when he raised his chin a little, signaling his listening carefully, Jungkook had no other choice and gave in.

“Ugh, it's just this math asshat again. He ordered me to go for extracurricular classes unless I passed all the past tests. I thought he didn't want to see me but here we go. I'll throw up if I have to see this man's face more than it's necessary.”

Jungkook was sure the hatred for the math teacher was mutual but apparently, the man was just an asshole and a bully. At this point, JK was sure the man enjoyed torturing students not only in math classes but overall. And he probably had an unhealthy obsession when it came to Jungkook. Maybe he should get a new tattoo just to piss the man off even more? The idea was more than tempting.

“How many tests do you have to pass?” Taehyung asked and JK had to come back to reality. He had already tried to decide on a new tattoo pattern. The place was more than obvious: it had to be his hand so the man would see it clearly. If he ordered him to wear a glove, he would surely visit the principal’s office to sue the man.

“Ah, umm… all of them?”

“All?!”

Taehyung seemed to be really surprised and it was probably the most expressive JK had ever seen him at school. Apparently, math was the topic that made everybody quite emotional in many ways.

“How could you fail all of them?”

“This man made me hate math more than anything and he treats me like shit.”

“Yeah, but not even one pass?”

“I've been busy lately, okay?” Jungkook tried to find an excuse. “How could I focus on this school bullshit when my mind was full of moving in, getting my life together, the basketball tryouts, training and helping… you.”

Jungkook listed everything that was on his mind one by one, and only at the end did he hesitate. It was the moment he realized he just admitted that Taehyung had been on his mind lately. And the boy stood just in front of him.

They looked at each other a little longer than they should have, and Taehyung was the first one to shyly look away. He probably didn't expect such an answer, but on the other hand, Jungkook was telling the truth. Lately, he had been more concerned about the boy's life than his own. Maybe that is why he felt embarrassed as well.

“Ah... I.. I'm sorry—”

“It's not your fault,” Jungkook shut him before Taehyung could finish his weird apology. “There are things way more important than math. Your life being one of them.”

There were a lot of things Jungkook would choose over math at any given moment. Most of these things were really trivial or were just enjoyable, unlike this hellish subject. But if he had to fail the course, at least he would do it for some right reasons. He tried to save someone’s life and if this wasn’t a good reason to fail some stupid tests then Jungkook didn’t really know what was a good reason anymore.

“Maybe I am an involuntarily involved one but I meant it when I said I want to help you.”

Jungkook felt that he needed to remind the boy about it. He didn’t care they were at school right now and he didn’t care that someone might have heard them. The point was to make the boy finally understand and accept it. And today, just after yesterday’s confession, it seemed to be the best time for that.

Taehyung looked at him quite intensively and for a split second, JK could see the real boy standing in front of him. The sadness and confusion in his eyes were so real; they were no different from what he saw at his apartment yesterday. Taehyung let his guard for a while and just as he thought he would get an honest answer, the one coming straight from the Taehyung, not his walking perfection side, the boy suddenly straightened up.

The image was quickly gone, as Taehyung cleared his throat and adjusted his brown bag so it wouldn’t fall from his arm. He ran his hand through his hair (a gesture which was quite dangerous for anyone’s sanity) and tilted his head a little just as if he was trying to decide if he should speak up or not. Whatever was on his mind right now it wasn’t what Jungkook wanted to hear. The real Taehyung was already gone.

“What if… I was the one to help you for once.”

 Jungkook was taken aback by the sudden proposal. “With what?”

“With math.”

“Math?”

“Yeah, math. I can help you pass these tests. I'm the best student in this school for a reason.”

Only then did Jungkook realize that he was actually talking to the best student in school, with walking perfection, although he didn't like to use that term. He focused on the social aspect of Taehyung’s fake persona and forgot that the rest of it was pretty much true; Taehyung couldn’t fake being smart. So although his image was completely fictitious, the boy's skills were not. He didn’t get all those good grades by accident. He had to study a lot and not only when it came to his favorite history of art.

But it still seemed strange to Jungkook. No one had ever tutored him, especially not someone with whom he had such a complicated relationship. And while part of JK wanted to spend some more time with the boy, the other part was highly skeptical about such meetings. He didn't want to force Taehyung to do this now; his health was more important than those stupid math grades.

“It’s not that important right now.”

“It is. I can’t let you fail classes because of me.”

“It’s not because of you—”

“Jungkook, please. Let me do it. It’s the least I can do for you.”

Taehyung cast him a pleading look, trying to convince him. And it was hard for Jungkook to refuse when saw the gentleness in his eyes. It seemed like it was quite an important thing for Taehyung, something he greatly cared about. And if there was something the boy finally wanted to do, something which led him in the right direction, then Jungkook had to agree. Not only for his math grades but most importantly for Taehyung’s sake.

“Would you really do that?”

“Why wouldn't I? After what you did for me and what you're still doing, I owe you quite a lot. Actually, it's quite hard to even evaluate how much I really owe you. "

“You don't owe me anything.” Jungkook wanted him to know it wasn't some crazy competition of who would do more for the other person. He helped the boy because he wanted to do so, not because he wanted something in return. “Please just keep on fighting. It will be enough for me.”

Because it really was the greatest reward for all his efforts. To know that all he had done for the boy’s sake wasn’t in vain. That Taehyung wanted to fight as well.

That's why he was so happy with the last confession; when the boy finally admitted that he truly needed help. Jungkook hoped that this would finally move everything forward. He was tired of constantly worrying about the boy. He wanted him to be able to trust himself and move on without his help. This was the only reward he was willing to accept for saving his life.

Taehyung timidly bit his lip and stared at Jungkook for a while until he reached into his bag. He rummaged through the textbooks just to find a white envelope, which he briskly took out and handed to Jungkook.

“Then I believe you'll like it.”

JK looked carefully at the boy because he didn't really know what the envelope meant or what he would find inside. He assumed Taehyung didn’t come here just to offer him math tutoring. There must have been something else he wanted from Jungkook and the envelope seemed to be that one thing.

Taehyung nodded to encourage him and waited until Jungkook finally opened the envelope. There was a paper inside, folded into three parts, just like all the important papers people get from banks or courts. This itself was quite alarming and made his hand tremble a little. He could feel his heart beating faster as he was unsure what would he find inside. And it could be anything really.

“Well, I… I decided to give it a try,” Taehyung added shyly, just before JK finally unfolded the paper.

Jungkook took a closer look only to see that it was one of the web pages printed out on the paper. At the top of the page, there was a strange logo he couldn’t recognize but he didn’t need that to understand it belonged to one of the clinics. And in the middle, written in capital letters, there was a confirmation of booking an appointment for next Wednesday at 6 p.m. with Mrs. Brown. Bethany Brown—a licensed therapist.

The raven-haired boy immediately raised his head when he realized what a valuable thing he was holding in his hands. He still couldn’t believe it. Taehyung who resented all the therapists finally decided to give it a try. And it wasn’t Jungkook who made him do it. The decision came straight from the boy. That was the most surprising thing but equally important.

Did he want to change something? Did he finally understand that it was the only way to find proper help? Maybe that is what he had realized in his apartment yesterday. Was he ready to open up? Nah, it still felt too early to do it. Not after what he had seen in recent days (or nights to be precise). Not when he still didn’t want people to know him better. It would be hard for him to speak to a completely new person when he was still reluctant to talk to Jungkook. Still, it was the right way. Anything could happen behind the closed doors of the therapist's office. Or maybe it was Jungkook who was unable to reach the boy.

Either way, JK looked at the paper again to make sure it wasn’t a dream. The longer he stared at it the happier he was. Not only for the boy but also for himself. Finding proper help for Taehyung also meant that Jungkook could finally be free from this immense responsibility he had on his shoulders. They could both get their normal lives back.

“That's a huge step forward,” JK couldn't find the words to describe how amazed he was with the boy's decision. “You know it, right?”

Jungkook hoped that the boy understood that what he had done was pretty much an important step in his recovery or however he wanted to call it. But only one look at Taehyung was enough to tell he wasn’t even aware of it. He seemed uncertain and not overly convinced it was even a good idea. No wonder he was still skeptical when he used to resent specialist and never trusted their judgment. JK didn’t know why he suddenly changed his mind but he couldn’t let him change it once again.

“Is it really?” Taehyung asked while looking at the paper JK was still holding.

“Yes. Yes, it is,” Jungkook insisted. He couldn't let the boy think otherwise, so he quickly added, "I'm proud of you."

Taehyung quickly looked up to meet JK’s gaze. His eyes became a little bigger, more lively, and full of hope. Taehyung looked like a child who walked into the candy store with a one hundred dollar note, ready to spend every single cent. That was a strange reaction to Jungkook’s words; just as the boy had never heard them before. As if nobody was ever proud of him. Considering his outstanding achievements in… everything really, it was hard to believe.

Either way, such an image suited Taehyung so much. Jungkook wanted to see it once more which is why he already started thinking how to bring it back on the boy’s face. Because only a moment later, Taehyung shook his head and shyly lowered his gaze, locking it somewhere in his shoes.

“Ah, you shouldn’t be,” Taehyung muttered almost inaudibly. “I don't know if I'll be brave enough to go there.”

That's true. Making an appointment and going to the appointment were two different things. And although JK believed that the boy would not chicken out, he could imagine him giving up at the last moment. Therefore, there was one solution to prevent a similar scenario from occurring.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

This seemed like a natural solution. Jungkook wanted to act as his friend and moral support before and after entering the closed session with the therapist. He didn’t want to listen to the story, be nosy, or eavesdrop. If the boy didn’t want to share the story with him, JK wouldn’t try to be sneaky and learn it like that. He just wanted to be there for Taehyung. Such conversations were never easy and the boy had no one with whom he could go there.

However, when he saw a slightly surprised gaze from Taehyung, together with his uncomfortable maybe even embarrassed stance, he started wondering if he hadn’t overstepped here. Such meetings were highly personal, especially when the topic was so serious, so maybe Taehyung didn’t want to have him anywhere near the therapist’s office.

But then why would he show him the envelope? Why would he let him know about the visit? There must have been something more to it than Taehyung dared to admit. Especially when the boy quickly shook his head.

“Ah, no, no. I can't ask you for that.” 

“Why?”

“It’s just… I—”

“But you want me to go with you, right?”

Taehyung didn't have to say anything; the answer was pretty obvious—his eyes gave it away even before Jungkook asked this question. That’s why JK didn't understand why the boy tried to convince him otherwise. It seemed strange. Therefore, before he could continue with his nonsense narrative, Jungkook had to explain one more thing.

“Listen, we both know you can't do it alone. Or at least not yet.”

Because that was the truth. After what had happened in recent days, leaving the boy alone was the worst possible option. Not only for his own sake but also for Jungkook's. He couldn’t imagine how stressed he would be the next Wednesday if he wasn’t by the boy’s side during this visit. Probably even more stressed than sitting in a waiting room in the clinic. He would pace around his apartment worried as hell, wondering what was happening with Taehyung or if he even went to that appointment.

JK knew he wouldn’t be able to mute his thoughts and would be subconsciously thinking about the boy. The same way he did yesterday when he rushed home as soon as the first drop of heavy rain fell just outside the window. He didn’t even know that his body was able to work on autopilot like that.

It was kind of strange but the only way in which Jungkook could finally find some peace was to accompany Taehyung the next Wednesday. Fortunately, it seemed that the boy understood it too, although he wasn’t as enthusiastic as Jungkook. 

“You’re right,” Taehyung admitted, and only then did he finally ask, “So will you… go with me?”

“I will.”

Jungkook smiled brightly trying to convince Taehyung he had done the right thing; that it was the only good decision he could have made in this situation. It helped a little as the boy nodded gloomily but there was still something on his mind. He seemed to be fighting with some thoughts, not knowing if he should voice them or not. Taehyung was hesitant at first but finally found the courage to speak up.

“Have you… have you ever been to… have you ever met with… ah, you know.”

Taehyung had problems asking that one question but fortunately JK knew what was on his mind. However, he had never had an appointment with a therapist; not even after that one stupid moment in his life. That probably wasn’t the answer Taehyung wanted to hear. It would only discourage him from going there and Jungkook couldn’t let it happen. On the other hand, lying now would make the boy lose some of the trust he had in him, which was even worse. That is why Jungkook chose a third option and decided not to answer the question directly.

“Don’t worry. You can do it. They are there to help you.”

He wanted to give the boy some courage, that is why he put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. Taehyung’s gaze followed JK’s movements. At first, it was locked on Jungkook’s hand still touching his arm but later he looked up just to catch JK’s caring gaze. There was a weird connection between them. As if they found a way to communicate without words and this was their way of expressing their mutual support. As if they could share emotions within this weird link between them.

And they stood like this for a little while until the moment they both realized they were at school. This damn school where every glance and the smallest of touches had a meaning. They immediately turned to the side just to hide this weird trance they got themselves into with this one deep stare. Jungkook focused on his backpack, while Taehyung adjusted the sleeve of his shirt and grabbed his hips.

When their gazes met again, Taehyung looked differently. He seemed to be more leaned on, less stressed, and overly in a better mood. It must have been his play once again. Whatever doubts Taehyung had about the visit just a few seconds before, there was no way to go back and discuss them again. Taehyung already transformed into his walking perfection self. And the way he lifted his chin a little and faked a faint smile was just proof of that.  

“Well, then we will have some busy Wednesday afternoons.”

It took Jungkook a while to understand what he meant by that. Mostly because his mind was still in their previous conversation—a much more important conversation. However, he managed to put it aside and focus on what was happening now.

That is why he raised a brow confused to as why Taehyung used a plural form. “Afternoons?”

“Yeah, afternoons,” he confirmed and shrugged just the moment after as if the answer was painfully obvious. “Just come over after the classes. I'll help you with math.”

Again, Jungkook’s mind was somewhere else. Or maybe his brain just stopped working when he realized he just had been invited to Taehyung’s house.

“Wait, wait, wait. You mean today?”

“You don't have training today, right?”

“Yeah, but…”

Jungkook was taken aback by the casual way Taehyung just proposed that and how well the boy knew his schedule. Because he was right; even though Namjoon suggested they trained every day, usually Wednesdays were free of serious training for the whole team. It didn’t stop Jungkook from practicing shooting or going to the gym with other team members. However, it was also a day he could go straight back home after classes and no one would blame him.

Only then did he notice that Taehyung’s visit was also on Wednesday. Did the boy do it purpose? Just to make sure Jungkook would be available at that time? So he could go with him if necessary? It seemed like it, even if it wasn't a planned but only a subconscious move. Guess Taehyung really needed him during this visit. Or maybe it was just a coincidence.

However, Jungkook had a feeling that nothing in their story was a coincidence. Even the fact he was the one going down this damn bridge.

As for mathematics itself, he had trouble believing that one meeting would be enough to make him understand this dark magic. Not even Taehyung’s presence would make him take a liking to this hellish subject. It would probably only make it worse. The boy would be the greatest distraction he ever had while studying.

But on the other hand, he couldn’t refuse now. No matter how he looked at it, such tutoring was mostly beneficial. Maybe Taehyung was in fact a magic man when it came to teaching and could make him pass all the tests in no time at all? Less time spent on extra lessons meant more time for basketball and more time to potentially help Taehyung. Besides, by spending time with Taehyung, he could keep an eye on him and maybe learn something more about the boy.

He couldn’t miss such an opportunity, that is why he finally nodded.

“Cool. I'll text you the address later.”

Only after these words did Jungkook realize that he still didn't have the boy's number. Honestly, he doubted anyone at this school had it. Well, except for his brother of course. That's why he quickly dug his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Taehyung, who seemed to be waiting exactly for that.

When Taehyung started typing his number, Jungkook looked around to see how many students and passersby saw them talking. They had been standing there for some time and JK was sure it was enough to make a good gossip. God forbid someone saw them earlier, while they were exchanging worried glances or when their gazes were locked for way longer than it was socially acceptable. Or just now when Taehyung held his phone.

Fortunately, there weren't many students hanging around and no one was openly staring at them either. It didn't mean that they were safe. There was a possibility he would learn something new about himself and Taehyung the moment he met with Jimin during the next classes they had together. Ugh. He hated this school for real.

But before he could roll his eyes at the potential scenarios Jimin would tell him, Taehyung handed back his phone. He had already called himself to keep Jungkook’s number, which he confirmed by slightly raising his phone. Taehyung didn’t say a thing, only nodded slightly—it was his way of saying goodbye. Then he simply adjusted his bag on his shoulder and headed in the opposite direction, leaving Jungkook alone.

JK sighed and looked at his phone, which he still held in his right hand. Taehyung's number was displayed on the screen, although the contact name typed by the boy suggested something different. Crybaby. That's what he wrote. 

Jungkook smiled. It was the same thing the boy wrote on the small note he had left in the kitchen just under the bottle of banana milk. And somehow this nickname suited him perfectly; Taehyung cried a lot and in some way, he acted like a baby. Besides, all he was doing now were the baby steps toward a brighter future.

All Jungkook wanted was to get rid of the first part of the nickname and make him stop crying all the time. Jungkook swore to himself that he would do everything to make it happen.

Chapter Text

Jungkook glanced at his phone screen just to make sure he got the address right. He stood in front of the gate to the modern and luxurious residential area, wondering if that was really the place where Taehyung lived. But there could be no mistake—he checked it over a thousand times. It was exactly the address Taehyung sent him via text message just a few minutes after they had parted at the school’s hall.

JK accepted the boy’s offer and he was about to have a math session with Taehyung. He knew it would not end well, not only because he absolutely hated math and was more than sure that nothing, not even Taehyung, would make him understand it. He was also a little bit anxious to meet the boy anywhere outside the school or his apartment. He had no power here which surely would make a difference if something unexpected happened. Besides JK was sure he was the first guest Taehyung had ever invited to his house. And that was a huge privilege.

Jungkook quickly found building 7B and ran the stairs to reach the top floor where apartment number 13 was located. Fortunately, the building wasn’t that high—only five stories overall—so he could do some cardio with a little jog. He took one deep breath to steady his beating heart as he was trying to calm down a little and build up his confidence. When he felt ready for what was about to come, he raised his hand to knock. But just as he was about to do it, the door suddenly opened and it was Taehyung who greeted him on the threshold. The boy smiled at him faintly, saying a quiet hello, and quickly disappeared into the hall.

Oh, so it is the right apartment, Jungkook reassured himself as he sighed in relief, and carefully followed the boy inside.

He gently closed the heavy door behind him and took off his shoes almost immediately. He didn't want to get any dirt on the pearly white floor; considering he wore heavy military boots it was more than likely to happen. The tiles in the hall seemed to shine; as if someone had just polished them. JK couldn’t make a mess—it would be a mortal disgrace.

Overall, making any mess in this apartment would be considered a crime. Because as he followed Taehyung to the living room, he was instantly met with a luxurious space.  

It was a two-story apartment, making the living room spacious and light thanks to the enormous windows going from the floor up to the roof. They gave an amazing view of the nearby park; JK felt as if he was in the center of the jungle even though they were only in the suburbs of Austin. He immediately wanted to grab a glass railing of the luxurious-looking stairs leading to the upper floor. It reminded him of all the apartments he saw in movies. He just wanted to make sure they were real.

Just under the stairs, close to the windows, there was a grand piano which made the inside look even more posh. Like, damn, who has enough space in the living room to fit the entire piano there? Only absolutely rich people. Jungkook wondered if it was a place where Taehyung had his piano classes. He could easily imagine the boy sitting here on rainy days and playing sad ballads—a view that was probably equally magical and heartbreaking.

The rest of the apartment was rather cold thanks to the lack of colors used to decorate it. Everything was mostly black, white, or silver; as if other colors were strictly forbidden here. All the details were well thought out, probably by some interior designer. The paintings, small sculptures, and photos; all had their designated space. There were no random things on shelves, nothing was cluttered, everything had to be organized and most importantly clear. The room seemed to be glowing from perfectly polished surfaces.

Jungkook felt as if he were in a museum watching some fancy modern art exhibition. The atmosphere inside was radically different from what he had at home. Here it was classier but way colder; something he wasn’t used to while living in a small messy apartment with tones of things lying everywhere. It didn’t feel like a cozy place where you could smell the tasty dinner your mom made just before you came back from school. Nor a place where you can cuddle under the blanket on the couch watching some stupid rom-com on cold days.   

But maybe it was Jungkook who had a different definition of a cozy place. Because even though he wouldn’t be able to live here, the apartment suited its owners pretty well. He didn’t know what was Seokjin like (it would be rather weird, knowing he was one of the teachers) but just from these few meetings they had in the counselor’s office, JK could tell he was a man of success. The way he acted, what shirts and watches he wore. It wasn’t hard to tell he was rather well off.

The same thing could be told about Taehyung as if the walking perfection image wasn’t the answer itself. Everything in the brothers’ behavior was so posh, almost royal; no wonder they lived in a modern mansion. For a second Jungkook felt unworthy to even come here. Maybe he should have worn something more formal than one of his favorite black T-shirts? Maybe the white shirt was more appropriate? Well, Taehyung was still wearing a shirt—the same pastel one he had at school. But at the same time, the boy rarely wore anything else, so JK decided to let it go. Wearing anything formal meant he had to say goodbye to his favorite tattoos. And he liked his tattoos.

“Wow, this place looks amazing,” JK said, admiring a huge chandelier. The silver and glassy construction was more than impressive and Jungkook wondered if it was a part of a designer’s collection. It couldn’t be available in any furniture store.

“It's my brother’s apartment,” Taehyung responded calmly, looking up as well. “I mean, his and Yun’s. It’s his wife.”

Only the boy's comment made him realize that the brothers weren’t the only ones living here. It was rather obvious yet somehow JK had never thought about this before. Seokjin was surely at least ten years older than Taehyung (even though he didn’t look like someone close or even over thirty) and had his adult life already figured out. So much so that he managed to find a well-paid job, choose a stable career path, and make a family.

Jungkook never looked for a ring on Seokjin’s finger but someone who was such a package had to be married by now. That’s why JK wasn’t overly surprised by this comment. He would have married him as well if it was possible. He seemed to be the great husband material.

“Gosh, it looks so expensive.”

JK stood exactly underneath the chandelier and couldn't help but admire the rest of the apartment. No matter where he looked there was something fancy to focus on. He had so many questions on his mind already.

“Apart from his job at school, Jin's quite a respected specialist in his field. He has his own office in the city center. And his wife’s a doctor in a private clinic. Money has never been a problem for them.”

Jungkook nodded, absorbing the new information about the boy's family; it was rather obvious that no poor people lived there. If he could make a guess he would assume the owners of this apartment were doctors, lawyers, or maybe politicians. And he partially was right. Except that Seokjin also worked at school. That was weird but JK had no time to dwell on it.

He began to subconsciously walk around the living room, looking for more items to focus on. This journey took him to a small cabinet right below the huge TV on the wall. There were several porcelain figurines and two small but quite ornamental picture frames—the only ones that could be seen in the entire lower part of the apartment. Maybe that is why JK immediately focused on them.

One of the photos was a typical wedding photo. Two gorgeous people stood in a rose garden, holding each other like there was no tomorrow. Jungkook easily recognized Seokjin in his black expensive suit and there could be no mistake about who was a woman beside him. Yun, as Taehyung introduced her, was truly stunning. She had long black and wavy hair and wore a silverish diadem. It fitted perfectly with her white princess dress enhanced with some crystals.

No wonder the photo was framed—their wedding look was definitely something they should brag about. Seokjin and his wife were one of the most beautiful people Jungkook had ever seen. It was that one couple that always made bisexual people confused. Maybe that is why Jungkook had to quickly look away.

He immediately focused on the other photo. Its colors suggested that it was quite an old one, but not yet ancient. It showed a child, not older than ten, sitting on the lap of a woman. They were laughing and playing with toy cars. Surprisingly the smiley couple was sitting in the same rose garden as in the wedding photo. So it must have been the family place then.

“That's Jin with his mother,” Taehyung explained, seeing how closely JK looked at the photo.

Jungkook nodded again. He knew that Taehyung and Seokjin were only half-brothers, so he understood where the comment came from. It gave him the answer as to which of their parents they had in common; it must have been their father. Well, seeing they both had these extremely handsome and manly features, JK could have easily guessed it way before Taehyung confirmed it.

“No photo of the Kim brothers?” he asked, pretending to be disappointed, as there were no other picture frames in the room.

Taehyung smiled faintly but shook his head firmly. Something in this gesture suggested that their relationship was not as brotherly as it seemed. JK knew nothing about their bond. He saw them interacting only once—in the counselor’s office. It was a rather formal encounter and Taehyung was a different person at school so Jungkook couldn’t get a proper judgment.

Maybe that is why he wanted to hear it directly from the boy. He knew it was a personal question, but he took the risk and finally asked, “You're not close?”

It was a tricky question since Jungkook wanted to know something more not only about Taehyung’s relationship with his brother but maybe something about his past as well. He had a hunch that whatever was tormenting the boy so much must have had its roots somewhere in his past. Maybe in a family history? They were so fucked up sometimes. Jungkook knew quite a lot about it.  

At the same time, Jungkook was aware that Taehyung wouldn’t tell him everything at once. Especially if it was in fact a childhood trauma. Just as Bogum told him the first time they met, Taehyung was rather secretive and selective when it came to his acquaintances and the topics he talked about. Well, Jungkook managed to find out about it himself. Talking to the boy was one of the hardest tasks he had ever faced.  

However, he hoped that Taehyung would open up to him one day. He just had to be patient and do it step by step, reminding the boy about his good intentions. Maybe it was the way to get all the puzzle pieces together.

“Ah, not really.” Taehyung grimaced slightly and shifted from one foot to the other, crossing his arms over his chest. “We’re not… that close.”

Well if they were anyhow close, maybe Jin would have seen that something wasn’t right with Taehyung. Maybe he would be able to stop him, help him before the boy could think of going to the bridge. Maybe he would find the solution to his problems. On the other hand, Taehyung was such a good actor; able to fool even the closest people around him. So if he didn’t want others to know him, he probably didn’t let his brother close either.  

And Jungkook would have been still guessing what was hidden behind Taehyung’s words if it wasn’t for the boy who surprisingly decided to continue with some explanations.

“As you probably have noticed already, Jin’s way older than me. Thirteen years older to be exact. He has his own life, job, and family. Well, he had all of it before we even met. We grew up separately, in different cities, barely knowing each other. I believe the moment for proper brotherly bonding has already passed.”

It was a bit of a sad vision, but JK understood why their brotherly bond wasn’t as strong as it should be. Quite a significant age gap and long-distance weren’t in favor of such a relationship, well of any relationship to be honest. That is why Jungkook focused on another aspect of the story.

“So you're not from Austin?”

There could be only one answer to this question. If the boy had lived in this area, they would have met at least once before. Whether at school, shop, local park, or just in the neighborhood. They lived relatively close to each other, and someone of similar beauty, even at a younger age, would certainly draw Jungkook’s attention. And if somehow JK failed to notice him, then Jimin certainly wouldn’t.  

What is more, the new housing estate they were in right now could only be two years old at most. JK remembered how these buildings were under construction when he was leaving for Atlanta. He could still hear his mother’s complaints about heavy traffic jams on her way back home from work. This alone suggested that Taehyung certainly hadn't grown up in this area. 

Maybe he lived in the other part of the city? he thought, but before he could think it through, Taehyung spoke up once again.  

“Austin is Jin’s city. I was born and raised in Portland.”

“Oh, that’s… quite far away from here.”

Quite far was an understatement of the century. Portland was on the other side of the country, thousands of miles away from Austin. No wonder brothers had no contact at all. It was hard to find one when they lived on two different sides of the continent for most of their lives.

“I lived my whole life there until I moved in with my brother two years ago for my sophomore year.”

“Ah right, Jimin mentioned you were a transferee.” Jungkook completely forgot about it.

“Did he say anything else?”

JK raised his brow at the sudden question. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned the biggest gossip girl in front of the boy when the topic was so delicate. “Well, he said quite a lot about… the person you are at school.”

Jungkook didn’t exactly know how to name it. Jimin introduced Taehyung to him as a walking perfection but JK knew it was a completely different person than the one who stood just in front of him. But he didn’t want to focus on that and make Taehyung uncomfortable, which is why he quickly changed the topic.

“Besides, I was a freshman here for a while and I don’t remember you being a student back then. That’s why I thought you must have been transferred here. Just like me this year.”

Only this made Taehyung nod slowly, accepting such explanations and probably forgetting about Jimin and his gossipy nature.

“Well, yes. Jin rented me their spare room until I finished high school. The plan for me was to move to the college anyway, so they knew it was only temporary. They agreed at first but now I know they are secretly waiting for me to move out. But… I understand them. They want to start a family and they need a room for that. You know, to exchange a teenager for their newborn.”

As perfect as their marriage already was, Jin and his wife probably thought of having children as well. They were both still relatively young but with stable careers, a lot of money, and some free time they decided to make their family a little bit bigger. That was only natural.

Technically they needn’t have to wait for Taehyung to move out but it was the best option for both of them. Taehyung could finish high school without being disturbed by the newborn and overall chaos at the house, and the family could focus on some redesigning of the apartment once he left.

On the other hand, Taehyung must have felt a huge pressure knowing he was the one stopping them from having their first child. That must have been quite overwhelming, hence the gloomy expression on Taehyung’s face. He seemed to be embarrassed to be the one standing between Jin and his precious family.

The boy looked down, took a deep breath, and added grimly, "Well, they could have had the room empty by now."

Taehyung said these words in such a way as if he regretted that he hadn't managed to make it happen. That he hadn’t managed to leave them alone with a free room. That he hadn’t managed to disappear from their lives. And this combined with a slightly absent look focused on the floor was a dangerous mixture. So much so that JK had to change the subject as quickly as possible. He had no intention of bringing up that evening in this conversation. That's not why they met today.

“Do you also study in the kitchen here?” Jungkook asked and pointed toward the massive kitchen island on the other side of the room.

The island was so huge that Taehyung could easily put all of his textbooks on top and there would still be some space left. In comparison with this culinary monstrosity, Jungkook’s tiny kitchen seemed to be some kind of unfunny joke. At his place, JK had to watch every step just not to spill something on the boy’s books or to not bump into him while taking out things from the fridge. Here Jungkook could dance with a burning frying pan and still be miles away from hurting anybody sitting by the island. 

JK hoped that this slightly unserious question referring to the boy's habit of studying in his kitchen would release the tension a little and make Taehyung think about less tragic things but apparently, it didn't work out very well. 

“No,” he responded calmly with the same indifferent manner but he didn’t even look up. “Jin loves to cook and eat. That's his sanctuary.”

It sounded convincing, although JK didn't know how Seokjin found time for cooking while working at school and running his own office. Apparently, excellence in many areas at once ran down in this family for ages. Taehyung wasn’t any different.

“So if not kitchen then where do you study?”

Taehyung finally looked up and for a moment he was quite confused, as if he didn't fully understand the reason for such a question. It took him a while but he nodded in the end and pointed his hand in the direction they should go. 

Jungkook subconsciously hoped the boy’s room was upstairs because he wanted to walk these beautiful glass stairs. That is why he was so happy when Taehyung led him exactly in that direction. JK couldn’t stop himself from touching the shiny railing and admiring the rest of the expensive ornaments. He could never afford to live in such luxuries. And he didn’t even know if he wanted it either.

That’s why he ignored all the modern art paintings hanging on one of the walls. There was something else that caught his attention. He passionately stared at one curly strand of Taehyung’s hair that had fallen from his neck and got stuck in the collar of his shirt. It was somehow so disturbing that JK had to fight back the great urge to simultaneously fix the stray strand of hair and dip his hand into that gorgeous, shiny hair of his. That was a real art for Jungkook—better than all the paintings in the apartment put together.

And he was so focused on Taehyung that he didn't realize the boy suddenly stopped in front of one of the doors. JK noticed it at the last moment and stopped just before they could collide. They were inches apart, almost too close to comfort. That’s why Jungkook had to hold his breath and take a quick step back the moment Taehyung turned to face him. Jungkook cast him a faint smile, pretending as if nothing had happened. Fortunately, the boy hadn’t noticed anything, as he seemed more concerned about the doorknob than JK’s confused expression.

Taehyung opened the door and let Jungkook walk in first. They entered the room no bigger than Jungkook’s living room, which only suggested it was quite spacious already. The walls were white, the same as all the furniture inside, and the a big fluffy carpet on the wooden floor. The design was rather minimalistic, similar to the rest of the apartment, and JK would have felt as if the room wasn’t even used if it wasn’t for a few details.

On the double-sided bed standing by one of the walls, there were colorful plushies representing various animals and characters from kids' movies. It was kind of childish knowing Taehyung’s rather serious character, but somehow it was cute as well. Jungkook also liked the far right corner of the room which was occupied by a few rather big plants in fancy colorful pots. Just beside them on the floor, there were piles of books separated by colors, neatly arranged from the biggest to the smallest. Jungkook could already tell some of them were the infamous history of art textbooks. One of the piles consisted only of magazines and JK guessed they were the newest issues of Vogue.

The room gave off artsy vibes; it was rather obvious that someone with an art spirit lived there. The aesthetic was so pleasing that the room felt almost unreal. Like a place that one could only find on Pinterest. Jungkook didn’t know what he expected to see here but somehow the room suited Taehyung’s character perfectly. Or at least the walking perfection side of him.

This was where he should have ended his tour; there was nothing else to see that wasn’t hidden somewhere in the cabinets. However, a rather spontaneous and quite unusual thought popped into his mind and bothered him so much that he had to find the answer. He took advantage of Taehyung's momentary inattention and walked to the large sliding wardrobe in the corner of the room. He took a risk and opened it slightly in a place he hoped to see most. Jungkook knew how inappropriate it was to rummage through someone’s closet like that, but he couldn't stop himself.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung asked calmly. He wasn’t angry, just curious as to why JK was messing around with his belongings.

“I just wanted to know how big is your collection of fancy over-the-top vintage shirts.”

And the answer to this question was impressive, indeed. Just as Jungkook slid the door open, he saw an enormous collection of shirts neatly hung on the hangers. From ordinary, classic colors and materials, through some mixed and patterned ones, to those truly extravagant and unique. All arranged by color from the brightest to the deepest shade of black.

As he went through each of the shirts, Jungkook recognized some of them from before. There was a pink silk shirt from Lisa's birthday party, a green and gold one from the day he first asked him to stay in his apartment, the white embroidered one he saw on the patio, and the blue one that became the symbol of his promise. They were all here—all except that one unfortunate shirt from the bridge. Maybe for the better.

“Where do you even buy them?” Jungkook asked, sincerely curious. Some of the shirts looked so unreal that he had to touch the delicate fabric just to make sure they were in fact real.

“A shop?” Came the short response to which Jungkook had to turn around to look directly at the boy. Did he really just joke at him? "Internet?" Taehyung continued with a small shrug. “I don't know. Where do you buy clothes?”

JK had to roll his eyes at this sarcastic comment. But what did he expect? That Taehyung would admit he bought them on some shady black market of fancy shirts accessible only for a few carefully selected fashionists? That was ridiculous so JK simply abandoned this topic. Apparently, the boy just knew where to buy to get the best catches.

So instead, Jungkook stared at the shirts again. This time his attention was caught by one of the black ones. At first, JK thought it was plain black, but he quickly noticed the sunflower print all over it. He couldn't help himself and gently grabbed its cuff. It was really soft and the material was more than pleasing to wear. The feeling must have been amazing; something close to being hugged by the expensive material. JK rarely wore shirts, if ever, but he wanted to try this exact one. He could bet it was as comfortable as all his T-shirts.  

The only problem was that Jungkook would surely look like a clown wearing something like this. It was not his style and the yellow sunflowers would be just funny in the close company of his colorful tattoos.

But Taehyung… Taehyung was a different case. The shirt seemed to be done precisely for him and only for him. The material was in the same shade of black as his wavy hair and the green accents in sunflowers fitted the color of the small stone placed in the middle of the golden necklace he wore today in pair with his usual jewelry. The sun that once shone on the sunflowers seemed to be the same one that danced on the honey-like complexion on his cheeks. As if they were on the same flower field on a sunny day.

Gosh, Jungkook was more than sure the boy would look absolutely stunning the day he wore this masterpiece.

“Can you wear it the next time we meet?” The question slipped his mind before he could properly think about it. The vision of the boy wearing that shirt was more tempting than he had expected and he subconsciously blurted some nonsense. But at this point, there was no coming back. He had to commit to this request and try to make it sound less awkward than it actually was.

Jungkook smiled at the boy trying to disguise this weird question as a playful remark. He could see Taehyung being slightly surprised by this request but he also managed to hide it rather quickly under a veil of indifference or maybe some irritation as well. A bit like a parent who was fed up with their child's antics. He sighed and slowly walked to the closet, catching the door in a place where Jungkook's hand had been just a moment ago. 

“Are you done goofing around? We have a lot to do.”

“Jeez, I thought you weren't such a strict teacher.”

Jungkook wanted to tease him a little but was met with another stoic and unimpressed glance from Taehyung, so he gave up quite fast. It was rather obvious what was the purpose of this visit and what they were supposed to do right now but JK was still reluctant to believe in it. He sighed heavily, knowing what awaited him just now. Jungkook could swear he was in physical pain at the smallest thought related to math.

Gosh, why did I agree on that? he thought when Taehyung pointed to the chair standing just in front of the wooden desk, inviting him to take a sit

He tried to convince himself it would be better now when it was Taehyung who was the teacher, but his hatred for this hellish subject was greater than he had thought. So much so he had to bite his lip hard to discipline himself—the greater part of him had already thought about a thousand ways to escape this situation.

But there was also a part of him hoping that if Taehyung managed to understand all these crazy formulas, sitting in the exact same place he was about to sit just now, then maybe it was worth trying. And in the end, it was that part which won this imaginary fight.

He twisted his lips into a grimace and sat down hesitantly in the chair. Taehyung grabbed a small pouf, moved it closer to the desk, and sat astride it. Then crossed his arms on his chest and focused on one of the textbooks. Just from the look on his face, it was clear that he was in his perfect student mode.

“You said you failed every test you got so far. Assuming our teachers follow the same script I prepared some notes and revisions.”

He jerked his chin toward the desk, and only then did Jungkook force himself to look in that direction as well. In addition to his well-known and hated math textbook, there were also several sheets of paper with notes. All necessary information was written in black pen, and the most important things were underlined with a purple highlighter. Everything was easy to read and even the most difficult formulas looked easy and clear to understand.

As he flipped through the pages, Jungkook was impressed with the amount of work put into making these notes. Of course, he immediately recognized Taehyung's handwriting and couldn't help but admire him for the fact that he wanted to prepare all these materials and that he actually had time to make them. Jungkook certainly wouldn't do it himself.

“When have you done that?”

Only then did JK realize that they had agreed on this meeting a few hours ago at school. When did the boy find time to take so many notes and prepare so thoroughly for this meeting?

“Let's say I'm good at multitasking,” he responded quite cockily. “And I simply modified some of my notes, so it was easier.”

“Oh. Either way, thank you for—"

“Thank me once you pass everything,” Taehyung cut in and tapped his fingers on the desk. “Let's start, shall we?”

He leaned over the desk and began to slowly and very carefully explain all the information collected on the notes. He used his velvety, warm, and deep voice, leaving JK no choice but to listen to him. The next words and sentences spoken by the boy just popped into Jungkook’s head and stayed there no matter how hard he wanted to remove them. It was as if his mind was desperately trying to keep them inside, just because it was something coming straight from the boy. Even if it was this stupid math.

Still, Jungkook had to admit that Taehyung was a really good teacher. He explained all the problems in an accessible way so that nothing was overly difficult or too simple. He showed him some tricks and patterns for the most problematic tasks, patiently answered Jungkook's questions, and helped him even with the smallest problems.

There was only one drawback: Taehyung was back to his focused state—the same one JK had seen several times when the boy studied in his kitchen. And when he was that focused, he became even more attractive. He had a clenched and better-defined jaw, his slightly pressed lips turned into a lively shade of pink each time he bit the tip of his pen and there was a twinkle in his eye that wasn’t normally there. Even the way he ran his hand through his hair to put his bangs away. All these small features made him even more charming, although JK didn't think it was physically possible. 

At one point Jungkook caught himself staring at the boy instead of his notes. But he couldn’t help it. Watching Taehyung’s divine profile was way more enjoyable than math.

But when the innocent glances turned into long stares Jungkook had to get a hold of himself. He had to stop that before he would get caught. He couldn’t let it happen. JK had no excuses or rational arguments he could use to explain himself. There was no reason for him to look at the boy other than the visually obvious one.

“Okay, here you have some more tasks from this topic. I'll be back in a minute, you can do them alone, right?”

Together with the question, JK felt Taehyung's hand on his shoulder. It was a rather patronizing gesture as if he wanted to give him some support with this light pat, but it was something Jungkook didn't expect at all. Damn, it was just a stupid brush of the boy’s hand. They were much closer than this: hugging each other and, just like last time, even sleeping in the same bed. And yet such a simple touch made Jungkook unable to react in any way. And he couldn't exactly tell why.

He held his breath and nodded gently, suggesting that he could handle the task by himself. Only then did Taehyung remove his hand and leave the room almost silently. JK immediately straightened up in his chair and exhaled. That's why he knew this tutoring was a bad idea. At school, he couldn't focus because the teacher annoyed and provoked him with every possible word. But here? Well, it was almost the same. Taehyung was an equally dangerous distraction, though for a completely different reason.

However, after not such a long time spent with math, he had already felt more confident. Not enough to pass all the missing exams as of yet but at least he knew what was happening. Not like before when all the math was for him was dark magic. Well, it still was, but maybe a little less dark. 

Jungkook felt like a few more meetings with Taehyung were needed for him to understand the topic to some basic extent, enough to pass the test. He didn’t care about getting A’s, he just wanted to pass them. All to not meet with that asshat of a teacher more than it was necessary.

Maybe it was supposed to be about math only, but the truth was that such meetings were a good excuse to keep an eye on the boy personally. To have some casual talk, find out more about his family, his past and future, or something that would make JK understand his story a little bit better. Just as it was today—step by step.

However, Jungkook was afraid that if he wanted to get something important out of the boy, he would have to confess a few things as well. And he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.

He put his pen down on the desk and rubbed his sweaty palms. He needed a distraction.

Jungkook looked around the room once again, and this time his eyes landed on something that was standing right in front of him. On a small shelf above the desk, next to several textbooks, there was a wooden photo frame. It showed a small photo, no larger than the ID one, of an elderly woman with a wide smile plastered to her face. There was something soothing and warm about it, so much so that he had to smile as well.

And while he was smiling at the photo, he didn't notice Taehyung who had silently entered the room. He stood over the desk and placed a white mug right under Jungkook's nose. He held the second cup in his left hand and leaned casually against the wall to look at the boy's notes, or rather at the absolute lack of solutions to the tasks he had given him a moment ago. 

JK looked at the mug. The hot liquid inside smelled really good, but he still didn't understand why it was right in front of him. He raised his gaze to look at Taehyung, who was currently hiding behind his favorite cup, drinking its contents.

“It's a tea,” he said, seeing how confused Jungkook looked. “You always make one for me, so I thought it's high time I make one for you. Drink up.”

Jungkook wasn’t overly surprised by this reasoning. In fact, every time Taehyung was at his apartment, whether by accident or by choice, JK made him a cup of tea. In some way, drinking tea in his kitchen has become their tradition. Although Jungkook preferred those times when the boy sipped it freely while studying for the next exams or finals. He would like to forget these moments when Taehyung used the cup of tea to warm his hands, while he was sitting in soaked clothes with a blank stare fixed on the tea leaves.

Now that the tables were turned it was kind of weird to be at the receiving end. He didn’t need tea nor were they talking about some serious matters, so the gift was rather unnecessary. It took him a while but he finally realized what was a reason: it was a part of this whole studying process Taehyung had done so often.

“I appreciate it but I need something… stronger to endure this math horror. Maybe coffee?”

He shot his shot but Taehyung wasn’t that easy to convince. “No, no, no.” He shook his head. “Told you, if we’re doing it my way then no coffee while studying. Only tea or cold bottled water. I can bring you one if you want.”

Jungkook couldn't help but growl, “No, thank you. Tea is fine.”

“Hey, if I made it, you can do it as well.”

“Yeah, but we're different.”

“Not so much different as you think.”

These words seemed to come out of the boy's mouth rather subconsciously, even before he could think about them properly. Only after a while did Taehyung realize what he had actually said as he froze with his mouth open. Jungkook gave him a questioning look eager to hear the boy elaborate on that thought. To him, they were completely different in so many aspects, if not in all. So what made Taehyung think otherwise?

But instead of continuing, Taehyung hid behind his cup and tapped the top of the answer sheet with his finger.

“Just focus on the tasks because you were clearly slacking off while I was gone,” he said dismissively and immediately sat on his bed. He put the mug on the bedside table, leaned against the wall, and pulled his legs up to his chest. When he realized JK was still looking at him, he waved him away suggesting he should focus on his studies.

JK sighed, and bit his lip, but finally gave in and turned back to face the desk. There was no way to have a meaningful and constructive conversation with Taehyung unless he solved all the math problems. Therefore, he gathered all the strength and knowledge he had left and focused on the tasks. The faster and more precisely he did them, the sooner he could learn something more about the boy. That was the greatest motivation.

So he got to work, this time without any distractions or innocent glances. And he was doing alright for most of the time until he finally broke the only rule he set for himself. The curiosity took over and he just had to look over his shoulder to check what was happening with Taehyung. 

As expected, he was still sitting against the wall, but this time he was scribbling something in his favorite brown notebook. The concentration did not leave his face, as did one of his black hair strands which seemed to be glued to his forehead forever. It swayed slightly whenever Taehyung gently moved his hand with the pencil over the page—it was quite funny to watch. Jungkook wondered what was the new design about. Was it a new fancy shirt? Suit? A whole stunning outfit? Or maybe it was one of his other drawings? A hand? Body? Face or—

Focus, Jungkook! he reprimanded himself and once again turned back to the desk. Just do the thing and you’ll be able to ask him about it yourself.

And he did exactly that. Never in his life had he done so many math problems in one sitting but he managed to finish all the assigned tasks. He was more than sure that he had solved them all correctly; failure was not an option. Jungkook smiled to himself (and he had never thought he would do that over math) as he was so proud of the work he had done. Taehyung just had to appreciate it and praise him; just as a good teacher should.

Jungkook took the last sip of the tea; it was still warm and JK had to admit he liked its bitter taste. Maybe there was something magical about it that made him so good at math? If so, he was lucky he didn’t ask for a coffee.

He wanted to let the boy know he was done but he almost got a heart attack as soon as he turned his head. As it turned out, Taehyung was standing right above him, looking at his notes over his shoulder. The boy's head was almost resting on JK’s shoulder and his eyes were clearly focused on calculations. How long had he been standing there? And why didn't JK feel his presence? He must have been really focused on math if he didn't pay attention to it.

Surprisingly, Taehyung didn't move an inch even when JK flinched a little at the sudden realization. The boy kept staring at the notes as if the proximity of their faces didn't bother him at all. 

However, JK couldn't stand it any longer, so he quickly said, “I've finished.”

Taehyung nodded but still didn't look away. He only nudged Jungkook gently on the shoulder, so JK immediately stood up to make some space for the boy. It was safer this way. Everything was better than letting him check the assignments from his previous position.

Taehyung gladly took a seat. He immediately grabbed a purple highlighter and leaned over the desk, resting his head on his hand. His long fingers got tangled in his black locks again, and his full lips kept gently nibbling the highlighter as he went through all the solutions provided by Jungkook. Once again he was in his focused state so JK decided to leave him alone with the tasks. There was no use in staring at the boy when he was staring at the notes. 

So Jungkook tried to focus on something else. He once again looked around the room, trying to find something worth focusing on. Maybe something that would give him more answers as to who Taehyung really was. But there was nothing much out of the ordinary. Nothing but that one picture placed on the shelf over the desk. It was the third photo Jungkook saw in that house today. Taehyung had already given him some explanations for the previous two, so JK hoped he would do just the same with this one.

“And who's that?” he asked while pointing at the photo.

Taehyung looked up only for a second, just to make sure they were thinking about the same photo. But there could be no mistake about which photo they were talking about— it was the only one here.

“It's my grandma,” he murmured, almost inaudible, and focused back on the notes.

Jungkook looked at the photo once again, trying to find some resemblance between the woman and, as it turned out, her grandson. There wasn’t anything which he could pinpoint immediately but the longer he looked at it, the more plausible their connection was.

On the other hand, he wondered why, of all the family members, it was her photo that was given such an honorable place. Not a photo of mom, not a photo of dad, but a photo of grandma. Interesting. Just like the boy's reaction—Taehyung looked away faster than usual. He had a habit of doing this when he wanted to avoid a topic or was feeling quite uncomfortable. But in this case, JK had a feeling there was something else going on.

“She has a nice smile,” JK pointed out as it was the first thing he had noticed about the woman.

He immediately checked the boy's reaction. As he expected, Taehyung stopped writing and hovered his hand over the paper. What he didn't expect, however, was that a moment later the boy crossed his arms on his chest and leaned comfortably in the chair. He lifted his chin slightly and looked at the photo in question. The corners of his lips moved up shyly as if he suddenly remembered a certain equally sad and beautiful memory.

“When I was younger people used to say we have the same smile.”

Oh, so there was something else to that smile. Maybe that is why Taehyung chose exactly this picture to be displayed in the frame. Or maybe it was the only one he had. The thing was, the woman’s smile was so adorable and so addictive. Her cheeks were full, almost puffy, revealing her pearlash teeth. It reminded Jungkook of bread steadily growing in the oven just to form the greatest and tastier product.

Somehow this type of smile suited the boy as well. When Jungkook studied Taehyung’s face once more, he decided there was no other way in which the boy could smile. His cheeks were created solely for this kind of smile. So how did it happen that he had never seen it on the boy’s lips?

Well, he saw the boy smiling at school or at the party, but it was always the fake smile of Mister Perfection. It was nowhere near something so sincere as the smile presented in the picture. And he wanted to see this true smile, Taehyung’s smile, so badly.  

“Thinking of it, I have never seen you smiling.” 

Tommy looked at him briefly. Mainly because he understood what Jungkook really meant. So he just sighed and added gloomily, “And you probably never will.”

That wasn’t the answer Jungkook wanted to hear. It was so pessimistic, tragic even; just as if the boy didn’t want to fight for it to happen. As if he was okay with what he had now. And it shouldn’t be like that. He shouldn’t give up so easily. He wanted to change something, right? He admitted he needed help, so why was he so reluctant to see the possible outcome? Jungkook couldn’t let him think like this.

“Why? Aren’t we doing everything to make it happen again?”

Jungkook knew that whatever problem Taehyung had couldn’t be easily solved and the healing process would probably take some time until they could finally see some results. But some goals could be set when it comes to the recovery. For example, the very first smile. And not the fake one. The one that would make his eyes lit up with happiness. Oh, it would suit Taehyung so much. 

“I want to see you smile,” Jungkook admitted. “I want to see that exact smile on you.”

JK pointed to the picture on the shelf, making sure Taehyung saw it as well. Maybe he came out as a little demanding but he didn’t really care. If the boy claimed their smiles were the same, then Jungkook wanted to see the living proof of it. Because if Taehyung was in fact telling the truth, then his smile would be the most beautiful view he had ever seen.

Taehyung wasn’t as enthusiastic about it as Jungkook. He stared at the photo blankly but JK knew something was going on in his mind. And it couldn’t be anything good judging from his slightly dry lips and a little gulp he did before finally speaking up.  

“This smile and those times are never going back,” he said firmly. “I don’t… I don’t want them back.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head as if he was trying to get rid of a certain memory. It couldn’t be easy for him, that’s why Jungkook stepped in with something more hopeful. Or so he hoped. 

“Then don’t dwell upon the past and focus on the future, okay? Let’s find something that will make you smile here and now. There must be something or someone who would be able to do it. Don’t you miss that feeling?”

Jungkook wholeheartedly believed in his words. Somewhere in the world, there must have been that one thing that would make Taehyung smile just as he used to. Because JK refused to believe the boy had never felt happy in his life. That would be too tragic.

Taehyung looked at him slightly confused, as if he was trying to find the answer to the last question. As if he tried to remind himself how it was to smile. As if he already knew what was that one thing Jungkook mentioned. There was a ray of hope in his eyes which was gone the second the boy became aware of its presence. He quickly focused on the desktop, trying to organize JK’s notes.

“Can we go back to math?”

“No.”

Jungkook put his hand on the desk in such a way that Taehyung couldn’t see his notes. He wanted to get the boy’s attention, without him being distracted by math. There were a few things Jungkook had to say now and knowing how good Taehyung was at ignoring certain topics he had to take away the only thing he could use as an excuse. As he already tried it a second ago.

It worked because Taehyung looked up, casting him a half-disappointed and half-irritated glare. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about it any longer but Jungkook had no intention of giving up.

“I know you probably don’t see it as something so important but… Living without a smile is just sad. And I can’t leave you like that anymore. I promised you to find something worth living for and something that will make you happy but… You’re really hard to talk to and maybe… Ah… Maybe I haven’t found it yet and…”

Jungkook couldn’t find the right words. He sighed helplessly and grabbed his hips, hoping it would help him collect his thoughts. He felt bad that he didn’t manage to find that special something for the boy. Maybe he wasn’t looking hard enough? Maybe he subconsciously gave up after that conversation about Taehyung’s passion for designing? Maybe he was unable to see that because the boy still didn’t let him close enough? Or maybe he was blind to the things others saw clearly. Maybe he was the wrong person to help him?

Ah, it was so messed up and JK felt so guilty even if it wasn’t his fault. Or maybe it was? He didn’t know anymore. 

“Shit, just try talking with your therapist, okay? She’ll know what to do if I’m not enough. It’s the right way, so please don’t give up on that appointment and—"

“Ah, Jungkook, you’re really dumb, you know?”

Suddenly Taehyung cut him off with one simple comment which made Jungkook snap out of this weird guilty trip he got himself into. He wanted to know why the boy called him dumb. Did he say something wrong? Or was he right about being not enough or not being able to find that one thing?

Only after a while did he realize Taehyung was holding one of his math notes, trying to show him that half of the page was underlined with his purple highlighter. “You didn’t get any solution right.”

Jungkook stared at him completely dumbfounded. All the time he thought the boy was referring to his behavior, Taehyung was in fact talking about this damn math again. Did he even hear what Jungkook told him or did he entirely ignore his honest confession? How could he be so oblivious once again?

And when did he get a hold of these notes? Jungkook blocked them with his hand so… Ah, no. He grabbed his hips in the middle of his speech and apparently, that was enough for Taehyung to focus on something different than JK’s words. But that was so… unfair. It wasn’t an easy topic but knowing he got ignored the moment he decided to speak his heart out made Jungkook feel as if he got slapped. It hurt.

“Are you for real?” Jungkook couldn’t believe it actually happened.  

“I can ask you the same thing. How did you manage to pass for the senior year? You lack some basic math knowledge.”

Oh God, it was even worse than Jungkook imagined it: Taehyung completely closed on him. He acted as if the previous conversation had never existed. As if Jungkook had never opened up to him the way he just did. Taehyung just hid behind the math sheets and some unnecessary sarcasm he sucked at. If Jungkook wanted to watch this fake shitshow, he would have approached Taehyung at school—it was where his acting soul shone the most.

Jungkook got angry both with Taehyung and himself. With Taehyung for obvious reasons and with himself for being so stupid. Jungkook was the one who said that he should do this helping thing step by step and not push any further if Taehyung was so fragile. But JK couldn’t just stand there doing nothing when Taehyung was losing the will to fight even before the battle started. He had to do everything just so the boy wouldn’t cancel the Wednesday appointment. He believed it was the crucial point in Taehyung’s recovery.

That is why he had to let go for now. He bit his lips and curled his hands into fists, just to release some stress and anger that boiled inside him. He had to get over his pride and all the things he wanted to spit into the boy’s face. No matter how hurt and angry he was right now, saying it at loud wouldn’t change a damn thing.

So he decided to play along. If Taehyung wanted to go back to math, they would go back to math.  

“Okay,” he whispered and nodded slightly, then proceeded to walk around the boy just to sit down beside him on the small pouf—the same one Taehyung sat on before.

Jungkook felt as if Taehyung was a little surprised that he had let go so easily, but hid it quite well. So much so that Jungkook almost believed in his ignorance if it wasn’t for the one small detail. His eyes were a little bit shinier than usual which could mean only one thing. Certain emotions were fighting in the boy’s heart which he tried to brutally discard.

So Jungkook decided to act before they could completely disappear under the tone of misused sarcasm and ignorance. He took a deep breath and used the softest and most gentle voice he could to add one more important thing.

“I know you’re trying to ignore me right now and you’re really good at it but… I won’t give up so easily. I’ll find a way to make you smile. I promise.”

Taehyung tried so hard to look indifferent, keeping his gaze fixed on the notes, his jaw clenched and stoic expression, suggesting he didn’t even hear him. But there was one thing he couldn’t control no matter how hard he tried. He started to blink faster just to get rid of these traitorous tears that began to gather in the corner of his eyes. He tried to remove the evidence, but the harder he tried, the more tears stayed on his long eyelashes.

Jungkook got his proof. It only meant that his words actually got to Taehyung; maybe even reached somewhere deeper than he previously intended. He didn’t want to torment the boy any further which is why he immediately grabbed one of the notes with the most purple highlights on it.

“So what’s wrong here? I was sure it was the right formula,” Jungkook said casually.

It was a way to change the topic and go back to the math, the way Taehyung wanted to do it just a moment ago. Maybe it was the best solution for now.

It took Taehyung quite a while to realize what Jungkook asked him. But when he came to his senses once again, he quickly nodded and became more lively than before. He sniffled quietly, hoping JK didn’t hear him (of course in vain), and grabbed a pen.   

“Ah… Um… Look… Look here,” he started but had to clear his throat before he could continue, “You should have used this formula.”

Taehyung showed him one of the pages in the textbook, trying to explain why Jungkook’s calculations were wrong. And it went on for at least one hour more until they covered all the material. And during that time Jungkook didn’t dare to speak up about serious matters not even once. But each time he looked up to see the wide smile of Taehyung’s grandma, he imagined the day the boy would do exactly the same.

Chapter Text

It was five o'clock when JK once again found himself in front of the gate to the luxurious residential area. He didn't want to be late, so he ran most of the way. At first, he wanted to do the healthy walk to Taehyung’s place—it was half an hour away from Jungkook’s apartment—but in the end, he decided to take a bus, just to be here faster. Of course, the bus was late and so was Jungkook, so he had to run from the bus stop to catch the wasted time.

Fortunately, Taehyung wasn’t waiting for him in front of the building yet. Good, I still have some time, he thought as he was trying to steady his breath and make himself look presentable. JK had a feeling Taehyung would be a hot mess soon enough and at least one of them should look mature. For obvious reasons, it had to be Jungkook.

He wanted to look like someone confident and determined and for now, he was more like a sweaty out-of-breath pig. He couldn’t afford such an image; he knew how important it would be today. The next Wednesday finally came and so did Taehyung’s therapist appointment. Jungkook agreed to support him and that was exactly why he had come here today; just to make sure the boy would not chicken out at the last moment.

Jungkook didn’t know what to expect but the one thing was sure: it would not be an easy night.

Taehyung visited him twice since the last Wednesday; once on Saturday and once on Monday—both times when it was raining again. He wasn’t overly talkative but what surprised Jungkook the most was that he always came two hours before the expected rain. Each time he claimed it was to do some math with Jungkook. Well, JK wasn’t overly happy with the tutoring but had to accept the offer—he really needed help with math.

So they sat in the kitchen and went through some tasks. It was so different from the time they did it in Taehyung’s room. The kitchen was much smaller and it wasn’t that comfortable to sit there for a longer time. At least for Jungkook because Taehyung seemed to like this place way more. They sat opposite each other and in such a position it was easier for Jungkook to stare at the boy instead of the notebook he wrote in. This made these meetings even more dangerous. Jungkook had to really take a hold of himself to stay focused on the right thing.

Fortunately, Taehyung never insisted on doing more math than necessary. They covered a few simple topics and the moment it started raining the boy switched to his history of art textbooks and let Jungkook do whatever he wanted. That was rather expected, knowing how Taehyung acted during the rain, and JK couldn’t really complain that their math classes ended up so quickly—he was more than happy to leave this hellish subject behind.

Instead, Jungkook wanted to focus on something way more enjoyable—cooking. He stayed in the kitchen and prepared all the ingredients needed for a tasty dinner. Of course, he made his favorite black bean noodles, making sure half of it was only mildly seasoned. He wanted to share it with Taehyung and he remembered the boy wasn’t a fan of spicy food.

Also, he hoped in that way Taehyung would have no excuse to refuse Jungkook’s cooking. The boy must have been hungry, nevertheless, he still tried to deny it and politely shook his head when JK presented him with the dish. Of course, Jungkook couldn’t let it go so easily and fortunately, after some convincing, Taehyung finally gave in and put his notebook to the side to taste the noodles.

JK waited for the verdict only to be granted with an appreciative nod. That was enough for him so he couldn’t help and smile at the boy. A second later he suggested Taehyung should join him on the couch as one of the basketball matches was broadcast live and the boy surprisingly followed him to the living room.

They’ve spent a lovely afternoon on the couch, eating noodles, watching the match, and exchanging some comments about the players and their predictions for the rest of the season. Jungkook could tell the boy liked his dish and the previous nod wasn’t just a courtesy. Because there was nothing as entertaining as seeing Taehyung eating with his cheeks full of noodles. Once again, JK got that proud grandma moment.

And at such times Jungkook was under the impression that he truly just got a new friend. Even if Taehyung washed his bowl and packed all his stuff the moment it stopped raining just to leave his apartment even before the match was finished. JK couldn’t force him to stay longer. He was just glad that he got this much time with him anyway. These were the small steps into a brighter future.

And if day by day he felt as if he was liking Taehyung more and more, maybe it was a sign the boy would finally like himself as well.

That is why this day was so important for both of them. JK hoped the visit would change something in the boy’s behavior. On the one hand, he wanted Taehyung to finally open up to somebody else, but on the other, he hoped it wouldn’t make him stop visiting him during heavy rains. He kind of got used to having Taehyung around.

Therefore, he took a few deep breaths and leaned casually against the wall, waiting for the boy. A few minutes after five, Taehyung stepped outside the gate and stood just in front of the building. He put his hands in his pockets and seemed to be impatiently waiting for someone. Apparently, he didn't notice Jungkook standing nearby, which only allowed him to initially evaluate the boy’s state.

Taehyung looked stressed; Jungkook had never seen him hiding his hands so deeply in his pockets. His shoulders were shaking slightly and he swallowed much more often than naturally as his lips were dry but tightly pressed together. What positively surprised JK was the shirt he decided to wear. It was the same one he asked him to wear the last time they saw each other in Taehyung’s apartment. The one with sunflowers. 

JK smiled to himself. If back then he wondered how good the shirt would look on the boy then now he got the answer. When he saw it with his own two eyes, just in front of him, there could be no mistake about it—Taehyung looked absolutely stunning in it. Even if the shirt was partially hidden under the black, slightly oversized blazer it still underlined the boy’s beauty. Everything was just as JK imagined; all the colors and details.

Gosh, the shirt must have been tailored specially for him, JK thought and had to quickly shake his head to come back on earth. He could stare at the boy for hours but he knew they didn’t have time for that.

“Hey, I'm here,” JK spoke up to get Taehyung’s attention and took a few steps in his direction. “I like your shirt.”

JK simply had to point it out—he absolutely adored the look; not only because he was the one to choose it the last time they met. Taehyung greeted him with a courteous nod but almost immediately looked down to take a closer look at the shirt he was wearing. It looked a little theatrical, after all, he certainly knew exactly what he was wearing and why. 

And as the boy slightly opened up the blazer to have a better view, Jungkook noticed the colorful handkerchief; Taehyung quite creatively used it as a belt. One could have thought the bright red and blue colors would not match the sunflower print but the boy clearly thought otherwise. It was a bold choice but somehow merging two things that shouldn’t go together, turned out to be the best idea ever. Jungkook didn’t know if it was Taehyung’s fashion genius or if his incredible charm enabled him to wear anything he liked.

“I like it as well,” Taehyung admitted, still admiring his shirt. “It always gives me a lot of confidence. I guess I need it today.”

“Oh, is it something like a lucky shirt?”

JK asked but received no answer. Or at least not directly. Taehyung shyly and almost barely visibly nodded before looking down and playing with his cuffs. This reaction could mean only one thing. Jungkook couldn’t believe his luck. Out of so many shirts in the closet that he could choose from it was this one that immediately caught his attention. It couldn’t have been a coincidence. Not in their case.

“So? Are you ready to go?”

Jungkook tried to be positive but he was aware that no amount of positivity would make Taehyung feel good about this visit. Nevertheless, it was worth trying, that is why he smiled broadly at the boy, hoping he would at least nod with a hint of enthusiasm. Well, the boy wasn’t even close to that with his confused expression and hands once again hidden inside his pockets.

It was probably the best he could do so there was no point in waiting for some grand gestures. That is why Jungkook rushed toward the bus stop—the same one he was running from not so long ago.

The office was on the other side of the city and they hardly spoke the entire way. Taehyung glued himself to the bus window, watching the world that passed him by. At the same time, he moved his leg nervously from time to time and it was the only thing that indicated that he was still alive. Because even if Jungkook sat just beside him, he could barely feel his presence. It was as if the boy turned into a ghost. Again.

JK decided to keep the silence if that was what the boy needed. He didn’t want to put additional pressure on him or make him doubt with one silly comment or misused word. He preferred to wait and let Taehyung deal with it by himself. Maybe he needed to organize his thoughts before what was supposed to be the most important conversation in his life.

Jungkook just reminded him to get off at the right stop and guided him further as he had his Google Maps open the whole journey. He knew Austin quite well but he didn’t memorize the exact address of each therapist's office in the city.

The closer they got to the office, the less eager Taehyung was to go there. He walked slower, slumping behind Jungkook as if he was losing all his self-confidence with each subsequent step. To such an extent that for a moment, JK thought the boy would suddenly stop in one place on the sidewalk. Jungkook wanted to avoid it, which is why he pointedly looked at his phone; they didn’t have much time.

“Come on, we don't want to be late, right?”

At first, Taehyung didn’t seem to be convinced by this remark, but a moment later he nodded vigorously and quickened his pace to catch Jungkook. The fight that was happening inside the boy’s head was quite an unusual phenomenon: he wanted to go for that appointment but at the same time he really didn’t. And if he already was so conflicted, while they were still outside, how much worse would it be for him once they enter the office?

Jungkook felt sorry for him but he also knew it was the only way to help him. That is why he confidently led him to the therapist’s office. It was located on the first floor of the apartment building, in between a laundry spot and a small coffee shop. JK even liked the place; everything was better than going to the hospital or a clinic. If this was the case, he could bet that Taehyung would have already chickened out.

The green sign above the entrance glowed brightly and was hard to miss, so JK knew exactly where to go. Strangely enough, everything about that sign was rather encouraging, as if it tried to catch some new customers. Jungkook doubted that whatever was inside was equally tempting. Therapists weren’t the most likable people, though they surely lost the battle with dentists—they were just frightening.

Jungkook quickly ran up a few steps that led to the entrance and, afraid that Taehyung wouldn't do it himself, he grabbed the door handle and opened it wide. He stepped aside slightly to make a way and let the boy go ahead. He had a feeling it was the only way to actually make sure Taehyung would go inside. Fortunately, JK didn't have to wait long. Taehyung just adjusted his cuffs again, took a deep breath, and confidently walked into the office.

The first room wasn’t overly big; it was something between the reception and a waiting room. However, opposite to the standard rather cool and modern offices, this one had a warm and homely atmosphere. All thanks to a few spacious, comfortable sofas, some old books on the shelves, and most importantly plants. They were absolutely everywhere; from big ones standing on the floor to the smallest pots hanging from the ceiling. It was so green everywhere, that for a moment JK thought he had entered an arboretum. If it weren't for the young woman sitting behind the counter, he really would have thought he'd made a mistake. 

The woman quickly greeted them and began to complete the formalities by typing something on the computer. Every now and then, she had to take her eyes off the screen to look at Taehyung who was carefully watching her movements. She thought she was being discreet about it, but she really wasn't. It was once again that starstruck effect people got into in the close presence of the boy.

JK wanted to roll his eyes. Every girl acted just the same next to Taehyung—stealing shy glances just to make sure the boy was real. It was hardly surprising, Taehyung was incredibly handsome and he didn't have to be in his perfect persona to steal the hearts of many. He was that beautiful, no matter if he wanted it or not. So JK couldn’t really blame the receptionist for this momentary lack of concentration. Jungkook had problems with this sometimes as well.

Luckily, before JK could fall into the same trap as the girl, a middle-aged woman appeared in the room. She introduced herself very informally as Betty and gave them a warm smile. She had bright ginger hair tied in a bun with a black clip, wore red glasses, and looked a bit like an old auntie working in a library. Despite her quite odd look, she looked trustworthy; maybe because of the warm smile plastered to her face which didn’t seem to be fake.

The woman shook hands first with Taehyung and then with Jungkook and looked carefully at both boys. She studied their posture and appearance for a little while as if she was trying to find something specific. Finally, she smiled even more brightly and locked her gaze on Jungkook.

“So you must be Taehyung then,” she said quite confidently which only surprised JK even more.

He raised his eyebrows in great confusion and immediately protested, “Ah, no, no. It’s not me. I'm Jungkook.”

“I… I'm Taehyung,” the boy added shyly, slightly lifting his hand. Just like the student who's been asked to come to the board.

The woman looked carefully at the boys once again. She furrowed her brows and the one huge wrinkle appeared on her forehead to confirm the great confusion she also had in her eyes. However, she adjusted to the new situation quite quickly, muttering a silent apology, “Ah, I'm sorry. I thought that… um, never mind.”

The remark was strange enough to make JK think. Maybe she tried to guess who was who just by watching their body language and how they behaved around her. With all the small gestures, their appearance, the handshake. She tried to see, who was the one needing her help. If so then why did she assume it was Jungkook? Either she was a really bad therapist, or she knew something that JK still refused to admit.

“Then hello Taehyung, I'm Betty,” she said with a sweet voice and extended her hand to once more greet the boy. “Shall we go?”

She asked but didn't really expect an answer. She pointed to the door at the other side of the room, suggesting the boy should follow her there. Taehyung nodded in agreement but before he moved an inch in that direction he looked up one last time. Solely from the boy’s gaze, JK could see he was absolutely terrified. It couldn’t have been easy for him, that is why Jungkook gently tapped him on the shoulder to give him some much-needed reassurance.

“You got this.” JK smiled at him. “I will wait here.”

Taehyung stared deeply into his eyes trying to find the confirmation of these words. That is why JK nodded once again, suggesting that this whole visit was indeed the best possible way to find help. Yet Taehyung didn’t seem convinced, as he gulped and bit his lip a little. His body looked as if it was glued to the floor and there was a huge force needed to move it in any direction.

Jungkook tried to find words that would help now but couldn’t think of anything convincing enough. Hopefully, Taehyung closed his eyes, squeezed them tightly, took one deep breath, and finally found some strength to continue. He nodded as if was trying to hype himself up and meekly walked toward the room.

Jungkook watched him go and looked away only when the doors were fully closed. Only then did he finally exhale—he didn’t even know he was holding his breath for so long.  

He decided to sit down in a waiting room—a sofa there looked rather tempting. And Jungkook wasn’t disappointed. It really was comfortable, so much so one could easily fall between the cushions and melt there forever. Maybe for the better. He had to wait here for some time. The session was supposed to last an hour, but he knew it might take longer than that. He didn't believe that whatever was bothering Taehyung could be explained in detail in less than an hour. Nor did he think the solution could be found at that time.

That's why he charged his phone and headphones in advance. He didn't want to stare at the ceiling all this time.

After a few minutes, the lovely receptionist placed a painted cup on the small glass table in front of him. JK gave her a surprised look because he hadn't asked for anything like this. However, the woman insisted that it was a good tradition in their office and smiled as she left. Jungkook leaned over the porcelain, only to find that he had been treated with some herbs probably something to calm him down. In such places, it was always about that.

But did he seem that worried? Was it why he was given what seemed to be a calming lemon balm? He wanted to believe everyone was treated just the same and he wasn’t some exception. Because he came here just as a supportive friend. Not someone deeply concerned about their partner or family member. And even though he kept repeating himself that, the truth was his heart was about to burst out of his chest. 

He was stressed, maybe not as stressed as Taehyung, but it wasn't easy for him either. The visit would have a great impact on Jungkook as well. If Taehyung finally found the help he needed, it meant that the great responsibility of taking care of the boy would finally be off Jungkook's shoulders. It’s not that JK would leave the boy completely alone but maybe he would not be needed as much and would be able to focus on himself and having his normal life back.

Jungkook spent the whole hour watching some stupid clips on his phone as he couldn't focus on anything specific, as his mind was somewhere else. And exactly an hour after Taehyung went inside the room, the doors opened once again.

Jungkook jumped on his feet as soon as Taehyung and the therapist reappeared in the waiting room. He immediately looked at the boy trying to guess what had happened inside. Taehyung was pale white and he shrank visually as his shoulders leaped forward and were slightly shaking. He kept his hand clenched and again packed deeply inside the pocket of his pants—something he rarely did yet somehow managed to do a few times already today. JK was afraid he would make a hole in them and it would be a shame to damage such expensive clothes.

Taehyung once again bit his lip shily; even from afar Jungkook could tell it was dry and lacked that freshly pink color. His face was rather emotionless, however, he looked as if he was deeply ashamed of something. Like a kid who was caught red-handed and didn’t want to confess to his parents. It wasn’t the image Jungkook wanted to see after this visit. Something was off, really off, and he had to know what had happened inside.  

Taehyung didn’t even want to look up, as his gaze was locked somewhere on the floor. That is why JK focused on the woman, trying to read something from her behavior. She looked rather dissatisfied and, most importantly, worried. She rubbed her temples nervously and kept adjusting her glasses as if this way she could find an answer to the problem. 

It only made Jungkook more anxious. He looked between Taehyung and the woman, trying to find answers to the questions. And as he was confused about where to exactly look for, the woman suddenly spoke up, giving him a worried smile.

“Jungkook, right?” she made sure, and when the boy nodded, she added, "Are you his guardian?”

He was a bit surprised by this question; it was rather obvious they were the same age or relatively close. It didn’t make sense for one to be the legal guardian of the other. On the other hand, they came here together and history probably knew similar cases when the siblings were there for each other, so the women’s question was a little bit more understandable.

JK looked at Taehyung so they could agree on some answer to this question. He sucked at lying and didn’t exactly know what the boy had told the woman about him. However, if she asked Jungkook directly, he could assume Taehyung didn’t tell her much. But when the boy was still looking at the floor, he decided to speak for his own.

“We're friends,” JK finally responded. He decided that was the safest answer.

The woman just nodded in understanding and quickly asked, “Can we talk for a second?”

"We?"

“Yes.”

The request was quite unusual, so much so that Jungkook stood frozen for a second. He didn't know why the woman wanted to talk to him and whether Taehyung even agreed to it. Because once he looked at the boy again, he still couldn’t reach him. As if Taehyung got lost somewhere in his own world. And as Jungkook had no way to get there, he decided to do what he thought was right. Therefore, he adjusted his shirt and with a slight nod moved toward the woman.

On the way, he stopped right next to Taehyung, hoping that he would look up for a moment feeling Jungkook closer to him, but in vain. Therefore, JK only gently placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. Then he took a pack of cigarettes with a lighter out of the back pocket of his jeans and then pushed them into his hand. For a second JK thought they would slip through Taehyung’s fingers and fall to the floor but fortunately, the boy grabbed the gift a little bit harder.

“Wait for me outside, okay?”

JK proposed to which Taehyung nodded in tiny. This gesture calmed Jungkook a little; at least Taehyung was responsive and somehow reacted to his words. JK hoped that the boy would relax a bit and try to come back to his senses with a cigarette. It was what always made Jungkook a little bit calmer so it was worth trying with Taehyung right now. Jungkook knew he liked to smoke as well, which is why he shared his pack of cigarettes with him. For now, because JK was sure he would need it back the moment he left this hellish office.

Jungkook sighed and moved toward the other room, leaving the boy alone at the reception desk. He had a strange feeling that he shouldn't be doing this, but following the woman seemed to be the only reasonable solution for now.

The therapist's room was even more warm and homely than the waiting room. It also had more plants which was quite impressive knowing how many of them were at the reception desk. All the furniture, cozy sofa, and armchairs were in a color of a dark wood which immediately reminded Jungkook of the living room of his apartment. Maybe that is why he felt so uneasy here. It was as if somebody stole his favorite room and turned it into an interrogation one.

The woman sat behind a large desk and gestured for him to sit at its other side. She didn’t look as nice as the first time she introduced herself. She seemed to be irritated as she was pinching the bridge of her nose all the time. Such a reaction was new for Jungkook as he had a feeling it would not be an easy conversation.  

“What happened?” JK risked it and spoke first. 

The woman sighed heavily and put her glasses down on the desk, before answering rather emotionlessly, “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

That wasn’t what Jacy expected to hear. Something must have happened. It was rather obvious. Fortunately, she explained a moment later.

“I know I am paid for my time but we just have spent a whole hour in complete silence. He didn't speak a word, not even a tiny whisper or a mumble. He was silent to my questions, he never spoke on his own accord either. He just sat here looking at his own hands doing… nothing.”

And that was a scenario JK feared the most. That despite the great courage it took to come here, Taehyung would chicken out at the last moment. That he would just close himself off to the world and stay quiet even in the presence of somebody who was supposed to help him. That he would doubt the whole process.

Such behavior also explained why Taehyung looked so guilty when he left the office. He was probably ashamed that he hadn't been able to open up and talk to the woman, despite Jungkook's best efforts and help. That he failed to do the one thing he came here to do.

Jungkook clicked his lips in frustration, Shit, it wasn't how it was supposed to be.

But JK wasn't mad at him. In fact, he saw it coming. The first step was always the hardest to make and in Taehyung’s case, that step was one of the biggest ones to make in his life. No wonder he got confused or maybe lacked the strength to make it. Jungkook knew all about it yet deep down he hoped he would be positively surprised after this visit. Or maybe he just hoped he would finally be released from the enormous tension laying on his shoulders which began to be heavier and heavier with every day.

One thing was sure: they had to keep trying. They couldn’t stop at this one unsuccessful visit and try once again. There was no other option if what was tormenting the boy so much was so hard for him to confess. There must have been a way to get to the boy.

Jungkook looked at the woman trying to decide if she was the one able to do it but he wasn't sure as of yet. 

“You two are close?” she asked suddenly, studying him carefully.

She expected a quick and specific answer but Jungkook couldn’t really find it. Their relations were quite…complicated.  

On the one hand, they had known each other for only a little over a month. They couldn’t really call themselves friends. JK knew nothing about the boy. When was his birthday? What was his favorite color, movie, or book? What restaurants did he go to most often? Was he allergic to anything? What music did he listen to? What did he do in his free time? He couldn't name any of these things. The same things he could easily name about Jimin at any time of the day or night.

On the other hand, there was a strange bond between them that had formed that day on the bridge. Because of this, they cared about each other more than two random people in school or the closest of friends. Jungkook could feel it each time he saw the boy crying in his apartment, each time he suffered in silence thinking JK hadn’t noticed his reddened eyes or trembling hands. So they had to be close for Jungkook to feel this weird tingling in his heart. Besides, people who weren’t close did not sleep in the same bed, did not wipe away tears when the other person cried all night, or did not offer a shoulder whenever needed. This wasn't normal behavior.

JK was confused, which is why he decided to answer in a quite ambivalent way.

“Remotely.”

The woman sighed not pleased with the answer. “But you know why he came here today?”

JK bit his lip. He felt the same way he did that day in Seokjin's office when he wanted to confess everything that happened on the bridge. Well, he didn’t exactly know what was Taehyung’s problem, but he knew the quite tragic outcome of it. A story that would have been way more tragic had he not been on that bridge. He didn't want to share that story with a woman, but who was going to do it if the boy still kept it to himself?

“You know, right?” she insisted but the answer must have been painfully obvious. She must have read it from Jungkook's confused and indecisive posture. There was no point in hiding it any further, which is why JK only nodded confirming the woman's words. “So, will you tell me?”

Admitting that he knew what Taehyung came here with and telling the actual reason were two different things for Jungkook. While he had no remorse in admitting the former, he had great reluctance to admit the latter. That already meant he had to reveal a secret that only the two of them knew. A secret that only Taehyung was entitled to.

“Listen, I know it feels like you're betraying him or sharing his biggest secret but it's quite the opposite really,” the woman said softly as if she could read his mind. “I can't help him if both of you stay silent. It is for his best so I can learn how to approach him.”

She sounded sincere and quite convincing, but when Jungkook still hesitated, she added.

“There is literally nothing you can tell me that I haven't already heard. Many people were sitting in your place sharing all kinds of different stories. And if he chose me there is only one reason for that.”

The last sentence got Jungkook’s attention. He did check the woman to see what kind of therapist she was. Taehyung mentioned he wanted to go to someone far away from his place of living and to somebody who possibly didn’t know Seokjin much (just in case they could meet by accident). And while googling the profile of Mrs. Bettany Brown he couldn’t skip the information she was quite well-known for dealing with all kinds of problems connected with suicide. Well, if Taehyung chose her there it could be no mistake what was the reason behind his visit.

And the woman was also aware of it as well. She knew why Taehyung was her next patient but she didn’t know why he became one in the first place. What was the reason and the way he tried to escape this life? She just didn’t know the details of the accident that Jungkook knew all too well. 

Still, telling the story from his point of view, even if it wasn’t a great part of what was really happening with the boy, felt wrong. What if Taehyung stayed silent because the woman didn't suit him? Maybe he wanted to talk to someone else and had no intention of seeing her again. If so, telling the woman what happened was a bit pointless.

However, she officially couldn't reveal things she heard in that room. What he had said here, stayed here forever. Or at least it should. And maybe that's why he finally decided to give it a  try. He had been facing the responsibility and the enormity of this story for way too long. If his confession didn’t help Taehyung in any way, it would at least help Jungkook.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as if that would justify his next words.

“I stopped him from jumping off the bridge.”

These words echoed in the room. They seemed to stay frozen in the air, making it even thicker than it already was. Jungkook could feel the huge weight coming off his shoulders and almost heard it crush on the floor just next to him. He felt strangely relieved after finally speaking up. The grip on his heart became a little bit lighter but it didn’t go away completely. Instead, he got that weird thought on the back of his head telling him something had changed forever.

He tried to shake these weird thoughts for now and focus on what was happening around him here and now. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at the woman who was staring back at him. She furrowed his brows a little as if Jungkook’s confession didn’t surprise her at all. She pursed her lips, shifted a little in her chair, and rested her elbows on the desk, suggesting that she was giving him her full attention.

“You stopped him?”

JK was quite surprised it was the first question she asked. They were supposed to talk about Taehyung, not about his experience on the bridge. However, it was hard for Jungkook to talk about the boy without mentioning himself. No matter how he looked at that story JK was still a part of it somehow.

“Yes.” JK nodded slowly. “He… he begged me to let him jump, but I couldn't let him. I just… couldn't.”

He stared at one spot on the desk but his mind was already somewhere else. Suddenly all the memories from that evening flooded his head and he couldn’t shake them off no matter how badly he tried to get rid of them. He heard Taehyung’s desperate pleas and was ready to fight with him once again. He could feel the drops of cold rain running down his neck which only made him shiver. He subconsciously squeezed his hands into fists; just as if he wanted to adjust the grip on Taehyung’s wrist so they wouldn’t slip away even during the boy’s strongest attempt to free himself. And Jungkook just couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let Taehyung try it again.

Only after a while did Jungkook realize that it wasn't happening again. He wasn’t sitting in a dirty puddle in the middle of the bridge during the heavy rainstorm with Taehyung’s numb body in his arms. He was here, at the therapist’s office, and the woman clearly just asked him a question.   

“Excuse me?” JK wanted her to repeat the last sentence because he completely zoomed out for a while. He didn’t know these memories had such a strong hold on him.

“I asked if you're the only one who knows about it?” Jungkook nodded shyly. There was no other person. “Have you talked about it? Do you know why he wanted to do it?”

It was something JK constantly wondered about. What was that one thing that made Taehyung lose his way and reach for the ultimate solution? It was a mystery JK found hard to solve. Even if he was probably the closest to Taehyung than any other person had ever been, he still had no clue what was tormenting him so much. It couldn’t be anything simple; the story itself must have been more complicated than he could have imagined but… My gosh, what had happened to make the boy so isolated from other people? To make him hide under that fake persona? To resent himself so much?

“I… I don’t know,” he admitted heavyheartedly. “I tried to find out but… he’s quite hard to talk to.”

“Mmm, this I know,” the woman responded quickly and JK couldn’t tell if she was mocking him or not. “But do you have any ideas? Something in his behavior that caught your attention? Maybe he did say something odd? Anything really.”

“Well, it’s all about his persona. They call him a walking perfection at school and you can tell that around the others he plays that perfect, almost unreal creature, without any flaws. Technically with one, but that’s not important right now.”

Jungkook decided to skip the school’s legend about the one-flaw rule. It was a farce anyway.

“The thing is, he’s an amazing actor and I’m not even sure if I had ever seen the real him. He’s hiding his true personality behind this holly image of walking perfection and… Ah, he never lets people know him and keeps them at a distance. But… he kept saying something about a part of him he really hates and is not able to accept. That we should be lucky to never meet that side of him. That he is destined to be like that. Whatever it means.”

It was all the information Jungkook managed to gather since he knew Taehyung a little bit better. There was also the part about his family but it was something JK hadn’t yet discovered fully to share with the woman. He had a feeling that whatever problems Taehyung had with his personality were connected to his childhood, but he had no proof of it. That is why he preferred to keep it to himself. Besides, it was Taehyung’s part of the story to tell.

The woman nodded and took a moment to absorb the information in silence. Then she adjusted her glasses and grabbed a pen to scribble something in her notebook. She took her time to note everything down which only made JK add one more thing.

“Ah… He… He also doesn’t like therapists too much.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” she said jokingly.

She stopped writing for a second just to raise her gaze and send him a telling look. JK didn’t mean to offend her but he decided it was a rather important feature; the reason behind such hatred toward the specialists. He couldn’t tell her about Seokjin because there was a possibility they knew each other, so he went for another explanation.

“No, it’s not about that. He just… doesn’t believe in the self-love ideology and everything connected with it. And since therapists talk about it a lot… Maybe… ah… maybe that’s also important in this story.”

The woman nodded again adding even more notes in her notebook. JK just sat there watching her write, feeling really weird. The silence in the room was unbearable which only made his mind create weird thoughts and scenarios.

He wondered if he had done right confessing all of it. Gosh, he felt like a traitor, knowing Taehyung was probably smoking outside unaware of Jungkook selling his story to the woman without his permission. The boy should be the one deciding who should know the story and who shouldn’t, yet it was Jungkook who made that decision on his behalf. But there was no way to undo it. He couldn’t take his words back just as he did in Seokjin’s office.

Only after some time did the woman finally put down the pen on the desk and close the notebook. She quickly slipped it into the drawer and turned to Jungkook, smiling at him faintly.  

“Thank you for sharing it with me. That will help me find a way to solve this problem, so don't feel bad about it, okay?”

Jungkook nodded, but he couldn’t help it: he had already felt bad about it.

“So, when should we meet again?” she asked and grabbed her calendar only to open it at her first free date. “What about next Thursday? Same time?”

“Oh, I have to ask Taehyung. I don't really know his schedule.”

He could only guess the time he finished his classes as they surprisingly didn’t share any (he barely shared some with Jimin). Besides, he had no clue about all of the things he was doing after school. And if what Jimin had told him was true, Taehyung seemed to have a lot of them. So he wasn’t in the best position to decide for the boy, at least in this case. He wasn’t his mum trying to arrange her son’s doctor appointment.

The woman once again looked at him, this time a little confused. “Ah no, I wasn't talking about his appointment. I asked about yours.”

“Mine?!” he almost shouted in surprise.

“Yes, yours.” On the contrary, she was oddly calm about it. “I believe you need at least one session as well. It couldn't have been easy for you, has it?”

Once again, the woman's perceptiveness surprised him, as did her request. However, she was right and Jungkook could no longer deny it. And if he needed proof, he just got one when his thoughts suddenly drifted away to that night. The memory was so vivid that he almost wanted to stand up and fight with the imaginary Taehyung, just to not let him try it again.

Besides, even if he finally shared the secret with someone, he could still feel that unbearable weight on his shoulders. With Taehyung deciding to stay silent, JK was still the only person the boy trusted and it was a huge responsibility. Jungkook would probably be the person who had to talk to the boy in a few minutes and convince him to try again, to not give up on therapy. And JK just knew it would not be an easy conversation.

And even if this clutching feeling in his heart deprived him of healthy sleep, poisoned his thoughts, and weighed on him everywhere he went, JK just knew there was nothing on earth able to make him give up on it. Not in Taehyung’s case.

But maybe there was a way to make it easier for him. Maybe the woman knew some tricks on how to approach the boy if it turned out Jungkook would be the only one Taehyung trusted enough to share his story. So far JK had done it in his own way, based on his experience and feeling, trying to be that one friend Taehyung had been missing his whole life. But if he could use some specialized techniques then he wanted to learn and possibly try them.

“It's not easy,” he admitted. “But if you can teach me how to talk with him, we can both find a way to help him.”

That was the only reason for him to agree to the woman’s proposal. He didn’t need the talk talk with her. However, she saw it quite differently, or at least that was what her arched brow suggested. 

“We can cover recent events because I believe it is needed as well. For both of you. It’s not usual to… save someone’s life.” The way she said it made JK feel the shivers running down his spine. “However, what I meant was another hard time in your life. Don't you think we should talk it through as well?”

If the woman's words had surprised him before, now he didn't know how to react. He didn't expect this at all. He had no intention of talking to the woman about his past and wanted to appear indifferent to her words at all costs.

“I don’t know what are you talking about.”

He straightened a little on his chair as if he was trying to hide that the topic was in fact quite uncomfortable for him. It only gave him away. Not only he sucked at lying but he also tried to fool the specialist of body language. He was bound to fail from the start. 

“You know what I’m talking about. I can see it in your eyes. The eyes of a person who tries to be tough because once in his life he was deeply hurt. The eyes of a person who tries to leave everything behind instead of facing it at least once. The eyes of a person who wants to help his friend so he won’t suffer the same way they did.”

She looked at him directly in his eyes and he could feel her gazing straight into his soul. And the worst thing about it was that she was right.

“Do you still don’t know what I am talking about?” she asked once again and at this point, there was no place JK could hide. The woman could read him like an open book.

Jungkook had to stop it before it could go too far, so he cleared his throat and tried to sound indifferent. “I just don’t think it’s necessary to talk about it right now.”

“Have you ever talked about it with someone?”

“It’s not that important.”

“Every story is important that’s why I want to know what happened.”

“But I don’t want to share it.”

He responded quickly and sharply, hoping it would discourage the woman from asking more questions. If it wasn’t enough he glared at her warningly but she didn’t intend to give up. For a moment longer their gazes battled for dominance and when JK couldn’t stand the women’s half-judging and half-disgusted look, he felt a strong need to explain himself.  

“Listen, I don’t want to talk about it because it’s all behind me. It’s buried six feet of the ground with all that shitty things that happened in that damn Atlanta. I don’t want to go back there, it’s definitely a closed chapter. I moved to Austin, to the city that once made me happy, to people that made me happy, so don’t you dare try to make me feel bad right now.”

He raised his voice a little in the end but the woman seemed indifferent to all his mood swings. Jungkook probably wasn’t the first one who had such a breakdown in this room, well, there were probably much more serious cases than what he had done just now. However, seeing the woman without any human emotions on her face, without a natural reaction, just a straight, stoic expression, made him even angrier than before.

“And why are we talking about me? Shouldn’t we talk about Taehyung? He’s in a much worse state than I had ever been. This is why we came here. This is his appointment.”

Jungkook almost forgot that this appointment wasn’t even about him. If he wanted to talk to the therapist he would have done it way earlier. Now it was completely unnecessary unless the woman taught him how to deal and speak with Taehyung. It was the only thing he was willing to talk about with her from now on. There was no way he would open up to her about his past.

However, she had a different take on that. 

“True,” she nodded. “So… Does Taehyung know?”

Oh, she was smart. She did come back to Taehyung’s case but still stuck to Jungkook’s one as well. She almost impressed him, almost. If it wasn’t about the tricky way she tried to get to him. Or maybe there was a reason she asked about that? Maybe it truly was a way to get to him? Maybe she had some point to prove, hence the question about Taehyung? Maybe she did have an idea to help him?

He couldn’t risk missing that shot, so even if he still didn’t feel comfortable and they were balancing on a thin line, he decided to cooperate a little more.

“No… not really.”

Because nobody besides Jungkook knew the story; he managed to overcome it alone so he didn’t feel the need to share it with anybody else. It was too personal. And even if he kept the story to himself, he was sure that Taehyung started to see something odd about him. All because of that one argument they had during the night of a thunderstorm when he said a few words too many. Taehyung wasn’t stupid. He knew what was hidden in Jungkook’s words.

“Have you thought of talking to him about it? Maybe if you share your story, he’ll do the same?” she suggested, but Jungkook know that approach too well.

He had already thought about it but each time he considered trying it, he quickly abandoned that idea. He really didn’t want to go through these memories once again, especially not now when he was fine. Taking care of Taehyung wasn’t easy either for him because each time he saw the boy in this heartbreaking state he had to train his mind not to come back to his own experiences and feeling from that one stupid day. And if this one thing was already hard then telling the full story would be as well. Besides, he didn’t even know where to start it or how to put a message through without putting too much pressure and burden on Taehyung. He didn’t know how to confess it all to Jimin, so trying to find a way to tell Taehyung would be even more difficult.

“I know you don’t want to go through it once again and I can bet neither does he. That's why he's still silent. Just as you are right now. The thing is you're different. You said he was in much worse condition than you had ever been which is quite concerning. Maybe if you show him how you overcame or how you managed to put it all behind you, just as you claim you did, he will do just the same.”

Everything she said was so convincing that he started to believe in her words. But even if the plan was good it also had its flaws. Apart from the obvious one where Jungkook had to tell his story, he also didn't want to put pressure on the boy. He didn't want him to feel forced to confess just because JK confessed. That wouldn't be fair. Besides, it wasn't about Jungkook and his problems, it was about all about Taehyung. 

Unfortunately, the woman saw it differently and didn’t intend to give up. She leaned over the desk even more and if she could she would probably try to touch Jungkook with her hand.

“If you claim he hates all the therapists so much, maybe you’re the only person who can help him.”

Jungkook felt as if these words were the most important ones he heard today. More important than his confession, more important than his guesses and assumptions about Taehyung’s past and story, more important than the woman’s insight into his soul. Because there was no way Jungkook could be that special. And not only overall. Just for that one specific person. No. It was impossible.

They had met with Taehyung by accident, a fucking accident, just because Jimin refused to get him a ride home. It could have been anybody else back then so why now he was the only one? It didn’t make sense. Jungkook wasn’t a superhero, a chosen one from all the fantasy novels, damn he wasn’t even a certified person to deal with such problems. He was just a human. Random human walking down the street in a heavy rain. An involuntarily involved one.

And solely because he was just a human he knew he couldn’t be the only person, the only solution. No matter how wholesome, how Hollywood-ish, or romantic a scenario it was.  

It was too much for him. Jungkook would do much to help Taehyung, but he had to think about himself as well. If he wanted to keep his sanity and make sure his body functioned properly, not to mention having a healthy amount of sleep or not smoking through whole nights, he had to put his trust in the therapist. She had to do her job properly. 

He ordered Taehyung to go to the therapist so some of the responsibility and pressure Jungkook had on his shoulders could be shared. So he could finally get rid of this enormous burden he hid inside his heart. And he could feel it happening the moment he confessed part of the story to the woman. It was such a refreshing feeling knowing he wasn’t alone in this process. That he didn’t stand in this fight against Taehyung’s demons alone as the boy wasn’t much of a help here.

So why the hell did he learn just now that he might be the only one able to help him? Shouldn’t it be the therapist's job to do so? She got paid for it for god’s sake. That was why they came here today. To find the solution. Solution provided by the woman. If Jungkook wanted to deal with the boy himself and play the grand savior he would have done it a long time ago. Yet he came here for help. So why did the woman neglect her duties and try to put the responsibility back on Jungkook? It should be her case, her mystery to solve, her job to do. What was this mess?

“You see, that is why I wanted to meet with you first,” she went back to her sweet voice as she was sure she managed to convince Jungkook. She grabbed the pen once again and focused on her calendar. “So would Thursday still be good for you? I have a free afternoon so you would have as much time as you want to tell me—

“No,” Jungkook cut her short. “I don’t want it.”

She raised her head, rather surprised or maybe even more confused with JK’s refusal. "But—"

“Please continue to work with him knowing what I have told you without using me as a tool. I can support him and be his closest friend but it is your job to help him.”

Jack rapidly rose from his chair with the intent to get out of this room as quickly as he could. He didn't want to prolong this conversation because he was afraid that the woman would keep insisting and that was the last thing he wanted to hear right now.

He got to the door in no time and just when he wanted to grab the handle, someone bit him to it. Surprisingly it was the woman who put his hand on the door enabling him to leave. How the hell did she manage to reach the door so fast? Well, the truth was Jungkook could leave at any time he wanted; he just had to push through by force; the woman wasn’t a big threat to him. However, he didn’t want to be rude even if she obviously wanted to add something more.

“Please, think about it. Think about him,” she said softly, with an oddly comforting voice. “I can help both of you.”

Once again she knew exactly what to say and how to say it to get into him. She was without a doubt expert in it; probably all the therapists were. And even though she was that good, Jungkook was better. There was no one as skilled in ignoring advice and voice of reason as Jungkook.

“I no longer need help,” he protested immediately. “But he does. So please start with him.”

Jungkook took the opportunity and grabbed the handle. This time she let him do that, so he had no intention of staying in this room for any minute longer. He stormed off the office and the only thing he could think of was his pack of cigarettes—he had to smoke so badly.

But first, he had to find Taehyung who had his precious pack. JK wondered how many of them did the boy smoke already and how much he would have to smoke to be able to talk to him right now. And it wasn’t about to be an easy conversation either.

So he started to look for the boy trying to simultaneously get rid of this weird voice in the back of his head calling him a fucking hypocrite.

Chapter Text

As Jungkook stepped outside the building the air was somehow colder than before. He didn’t know if it was because of the erratic weather or all the bloodcurdling conversations he had. However, he was sure that the only thing that could calm him down and warm a little were his cigarettes. But to get them, first, he had to find Taehyung. Well, the boy was much more important than his cigarettes—especially now when he could be in any state.

Jungkook took a deep breath hoping the search for the boy would not be long. He just wished Taehyung followed his advice and simply went smoking outside. And much to his pleasure (and maybe surprise as well), Taehyung was exactly where he wanted him to be.

The boy didn’t go far; he just sat on the top step of the stairs separating the building from the sidewalk next to the busy road—the very same ones Jungkook ran up not so long ago. He clutched his pack of cigarettes in his left hand and turned it from side to side every few seconds. Probably it was a way to stop his hands from trembling but the gesture was rather useless. JK could clearly see his right hand, the one holding the cigarette, shaking slightly each time the boy tried to put it close to his lips.

He struggled to taste the cigarette so much that JK thought he would choke on the instant. How he managed to survive these few minutes alone was a great mystery. Luckily enough, he had Jungkook by his side from now on.

Jungkook slowly walked up to the boy and casually sat down next to him. Again, he made sure their arms were gently touching; the last time they sat like that it helped, so JK hoped it would be the same just now. He also took back his pack of cigarettes but only for a second. He just needed one to smoke, the rest could stay in the boy’s hands as he clearly needed something to hold on to; even if it was a small silly box with a lot of warnings.

JK lit up his cigarette—something he craved for the moment he left this hellish room. Maybe Taehyung was right. Maybe his hatred toward therapists wasn’t as stupid as he previously thought. If it was how all the appointments looked like, no wonder Taehyung decided not to open up to her. The woman was just… too much. For both of them apparently.

Nevertheless, Jungkook hoped she was just the wrong person to do the job. They had to look for someone else. But JK had to encourage Taehyung to do so. And he already knew it would not be an easy task.

He tried to find a way to get to Taehyung but couldn’t come up with anything creative enough. Because what was he supposed to say at this moment? All words he could think of felt just… wrong. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself with some cheesy remarks, but on the other hand, he was sure that whatever he said right now would be dismissed with a few aggressive and spiteful comments. Taehyung never spared honest words in such situations. Either of the scenarios suited Jungkook so in the end he decided to stay silent.

And so they sat on the stairs, deadly silent, with their arms still touching, as they were slowly smoking their cigarettes. Somehow it was exactly what both of them needed to calm down.

Taehyung was the first one to finish. He threw the cigarette on the stairs and crushed it with his shoe. His movements were rather lively contrary to what was happening with him in the last few minutes which surprised JK a little. The boy took a deep breath and ran his trembling hand through his hair. It looked as if he tried to gather some strength or maybe courage as well. And JK wasn’t wrong as a second later Taehyung finally spoke up.

“Ah… I’m… I'm sorry.” His voice was weak and full of regrets. “I've failed.”

Jungkook raised his brow in surprise. He could understand why Taehyung wanted to apologize but he couldn’t let him think he failed. Even if he didn’t say anything to the therapist it didn’t mean this whole appointment was a failure. And he wanted the boy to understand it before he would believe in this completely false narrative.

“No, no. Trust me, you haven't failed. Coming here was very brave—”

“Brave, my ass,” Taehyung scoffed. “I chickened out, that's it.”

“But you tried. You wanted to be here. You wanted to change something. You wanted to give yourself a chance. That's new. That’s—”

“Trying is such a pathetic word,” he cut in once again. “You either do it or not. There is no in-between.”

From a strictly technical point of view, he was right, but JK had no intention of admitting it right now. He needed the boy to change his approach and he had a feeling it would not be possible without some fiery fight between them. Because neither of them was willing to give up on their principles and neither of them wanted to believe in the other's words. Because for Jungkook the visit, no matter how horrible it went, was still a small success, while for Taehyung it was a great disaster; something he was sure would happen even before they showed up for an appointment.

“That’s why I told you not to be proud of me,” he added with a resignation in his voice. “There’s nothing to be proud of here.”

“There is. Not everyone comes that far.”

“That far? Do you mean having a breakdown in front of the therapist's office?” Taehyung asked sarcastically, which only made Jungkook angrier.

“No. What I meant is some of them give up at the very beginning. Not everyone keeps fighting just like you do. You still here, next to me, trying to—"

“Tsh, people who try are still the ones who fail.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, then why didn’t you talk to her? Even one word would be enough, yet you decided to stay silent for a whole ass hour. Is that the do part of your philosophy? ”

Jungkook couldn’t take it any longer and burst out, just as he predicted not so long ago. Taehyung's approach infuriated him so much that he couldn’t stay calm any longer. Once again whatever he said to him was played down or dismissed sarcastically, just like every time they argued back in his apartment. Every logical argument, any helpful approach was turned down because of that one thing that was still inside Taehyung, preventing him from seeing he was mistaken.

Even though the boy recognized he needed help he still couldn’t find a way to accept it; he was turning down all the opportunities, missing the purpose. JK knew it was hard but seeing Taehyung so oblivious once again, made him extremely frustrated. It was as if they took a step back in his recovery instead of making a huge step forward. It should be the evening they both would feel better. And right now JK had a feeling it was even worse than before they came here.  

Taehyung’s approach was odd but somehow right. In any other circumstances, JK would have agreed with the boy: it was either do or don’t for him as well. He hated leaving things unfinished and failure was never an option. It was quite a harsh philosophy but the one Jungkook identified the most. In general, it suited Taehyung as well. It was connected with his ideal persona, a perfect student who always achieved the best results and never failed. 

So why did he suddenly change his mind and decide to run away once again? It was so inconsistent. Because even the smallest thing about his history shared with the woman would mean he succeeded, right? That he did it. That he did not fail. So what stopped him from saying it?

And while Jungkook was watching Taehyung who was struggling to calm down, he dared to take a guess. That grand and quite harsh approach was probably the one he followed as a walking perfection. But now when he was stripped down from his perfect persona and what was left was just Kim Taehyung, he didn’t know which path he really should follow. Gosh, he must have been so confused.

Jungkook could see it in his behavior. Even though the boy was probably equally angry as JK during this heated conversation, he ended up curled into the small ball. He put his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands as if he tried to hide from the word. He sniffled a few times and rubbed his cheeks, then ran his hands through his hair and left them there for a little longer.

The way his long fingers mingled with the black curls made Jungkook uneasy. If the boy grabbed them only a little harder, they would surely stay in his hands—that’s how strong of a grip he had. It would be a shame to ruin such a hairdo so JK decided he had to act immediately.

Maybe he was too harsh with the boy? Maybe he shouldn’t have let the anger speak for him. It was never a good idea, especially while dealing with Taehyung. They were both equally feisty, but it was always Taehyung who got it worse in the end. Jungkook could live on after hearing some weird and offensive comments, but his comebacks were probably harder to accept for the boy. JK couldn’t let him misinterpret them to some unhealthy extent. That is why he was willing to give up and once again be the first one to apologize.

Surprisingly it was Taehyung who suddenly straightened up and decided to answer Jungkook’s question.

“I… I just couldn't do it,” he admitted with a heavy heart. “I know she heard a lot of stories just like mine but it still feels like she won't understand me. The way she looked at me, the way she seemed so demanding, it didn’t feel… right.”

So it had to be something with the woman in the end. Jungkook had a feeling she wasn’t the best option available and well, he managed to find out about it himself. She didn’t seem to be trustworthy from the moment he met her or more from the moment she mistook him for Taehyung. Maybe the boy noticed it back then as well? JK wanted to ask but he let Taehyung continue as he saw it wasn’t all he had to say.

“Was I supposed to sit there and talk about the worst moments of my life while she silently judged me for my actions, feelings, thoughts, and fears? With that stoic and ice-cold expression on her face? Taking some notes? Just as if I was on some fucking TV show audition? I just… I didn't want to be the next story in her notebook.”

Taehyung shook his head as if he wanted to get rid of that image. He put his hands together and squeezed them tightly, trying to suppress the anger. The last sentences he said were full of spite and hatred toward the woman, but JK couldn’t blame him for portraying her like that. It felt just as if she was the judge in the newest reality show, waiting for Taehyung to share his tragic story which would captivate the hearts of the audience.

“I didn't want to talk about it when it… it really hurts. If I open up and have to go through it once again I want the other person to understand it completely. Even if there is somebody like this out there, she's not the one. And I don't need another person to state something I already know. I can risk it because… I know I want to be able to repeat it again and again. I don't… I just can't.”

Jungkook understood the boy's fears; nobody wanted to go through such things again. But seeing Taehyung having similar problems only made his heart ache a little.

“And I believe the reason for all of this can't be changed however you try. There's nothing I can do, nobody can. I will always be like that. It only makes me cry.”

That was the most heartbreaking thing he heard from the boy today. It only showed Taehyung didn’t believe there was a way to help him and JK couldn’t let him think that. That’s why he risked it and asked, trying to test one of his theories.

“Does that reason have something to do with destiny?”

Jungkook noticed that the boy relayed on it a lot. He mentioned it back in his apartment and it seemed like the boy believed that whatever bad was inside him was connected with that damn destiny. JK didn’t know what it exactly meant for the boy but his one, rather sad look, was enough for Jungkook to understand he guessed right.

“You know that destiny can be changed, right?” JK wanted to give him some reassurance but was quite quickly turned down by rather hopeless words.

“Not in my case.”

These were the first words Taehyung said with so much confidence that evening. Just as if he was speaking his heart out or admitting something he was absolutely sure of. And that might have been the most devastating aspect of their meeting. If Taehyung didn’t believe something could be changed, then how he was supposed to make it happen?

Jungkook stared a little longer at the boy who surprisingly didn’t look down or turn his gaze in any other direction. And what Jungkook saw in those beautiful dark eyes was once again a mix of emotions. There was pain, a hint of helplessness, maybe even tiredness with all that happened today. But somewhere deep down, hidden behind all these bad emotions there was one thing that caught Jungkook’s attention.

It was a desperate plea for help.

Maybe Taehyung wasn’t aware of it but his eyes never lied. It was there. A spark, something begging him to find a way to help him, to make him come out of this shell. It was so vivid that Jungkook almost wanted to catch it with his hand. Fortunately, he came to his senses the moment Taehyung finally looked away.

At this moment Jungkook was sure of one thing: he would do anything just to help Taehyung, just not to see that one heartbreaking thing in his eyes.

But where to start? What to do when the one thing he relied on so much failed? The therapist’s appointment was quite a disaster and at this point, even JK stopped believing it was a minor success. After what he heard from Taehyung and learned what the therapists were like JK wondered if was still a good approach.

Taehyung needed to talk to someone who would understand him completely the very first time he shared his story. It must have been someone who was in a similar situation and currently, the only person with such a story JK knew about was… him. And although he could bet that their stories and reasons why the two of them could have never met were completely different, the emotions they shared at one point must have been quite similar. Besides, Taehyung already trusted him; Jungkook was the perfect choice.

So what if the therapist was right? What if he was the only one able to help Taehyung?

Jungkook wanted to curse the woman. After despising all her ideas and words, now he started to admit she was right? That was ridiculous. But maybe, only maybe, she knew what she was doing back in the office. Things that seemed too hard or too stupid back then were in fact the only way to help the boy now. In the end, she predicted everything that Taehyung just told him. Why he was afraid of talking to therapists, why he didn’t want to go through the story once again, why he trusted him out of so many people he knew.

Damn it, the woman was right.

“Have you told her?” Taehyung asked suddenly.

Their eyes met again. Jungkook had no intention of lying to him, even if he had told her quite a lot without Taehyung’s permission. He simply nodded which made Taehyung slowly swallow, turn his head, and lock his gaze on the dirty sidewalk once again. Jungkook couldn’t tell how he felt about it.

“She's the expert in this field. I didn't have to say much. She already knew what was your problem. I mean… More what you wanted to do.”

Because nobody knew what was the problem and the reason behind such a tragic decision. Nobody besides Taehyung. Still, Jungkook once again felt bad for sharing the smallest things about the story with the woman. It should have been done like that. Nevertheless, there was one good thing that might have come out from this meeting and JK being a snitch.

“And I believe… she might have found a way to help you.”

This caught Taehyung's attention and provoked his intense stare. He wasn’t convinced, but he seemed at least interested in knowing the answer. That one thing in his eyes sparked once again and was even more visible than before. As if the mention of possible help brought that spark to the surface. There was hope—something JK saw so rarely in Taehyung’s eyes. And this only confirmed the woman’s idea was the right one. He had to do it.  

And if this was the case it meant there was only one way to help the boy—the one he wanted to avoid so badly. But if his short suffering meant he would save Taehyung’s life he had to do it. He overcame his fears once, he could do it the second time. Especially when what he wanted to do was just a stupid one-time thing, nothing similar to the turmoil the boy was going through right now.

It was just one evening of confessions, one deep talk, a trip down the memory line to Atlanta, one story that could change everything. And there were so many things that could go wrong with this one but… there was also something hopeful about it. Jungkook had to try.

He took a deep breath, but he was sure that none, even the deepest one, would properly prepare him for what he was about to say. Well, maybe there was one thing that would loosen him a little bit.

“But first we have to find some alcohol.”

“Alcohol? Why?” 

Taehyung seemed surprised but JK was rather unbothered. He was more than sure that he would need a few beers or something stronger if this plan was about to work. He bit his lip and squeezed his hands so hard that his knuckles turned completely white. He took another breath and spoke as calmly as he could.

“Because I can't be sober if I'm about to tell you how I was one step away from jumping off the fourteenth floor at 67 Linden Avenue.”

These words hung in the evening air between the two of them but Jungkook could hear them echoing in his head. It was the first time he said it out loud and he couldn’t believe how hard it was to do. He was shocked he managed to say it in one go, without stuttering or having second thoughts in the middle. He knew it was just a beginning but it already was quite much.

And just as he admitted to the greatest stupidity he wanted to do in his life, he also felt some of the memories coming back to him. As long as he kept the story hidden somewhere in the back of his head, avoiding the memories each time they wanted to come back to the surface, he was sure he managed to overcome them and live in peace. Just like they were a strange dream he once had but had already forgotten about. Everything seemed to be covered with a thick fog, and now that the fog was gone, he didn't really know what to do with himself.

The memories became more vivid and suddenly he felt the same fear that accompanied him that night. He quickly squeezed his hands even tighter before they could start trembling once again. Instead of watching them in silence and letting his mind play tricks on him, he decided to focus on Taehyung. He wanted to see the boy’s reaction before he could continue.

JK was sure that the boy already knew about his past. He didn’t know what happened but he could guess it was the same problem he got in the end. He was a smart guy; connecting a few dots from Jungkook’s comments and behavior shouldn’t have been hard for him. JK could bet Taehyung understood it immediately the moment he let his memories speak for him that one night of the blackout.

Maybe that's why he decided to trust him so much? Because that night he saw a glimpse of himself in Jungkook? In the end, it was the conversation that made them closer. Jungkook promised to be his friend. And ever since then, Taehyung came to his apartment each time it rained. Maybe now it was the time for another conversation? The one that would draw them even closer? Ah, maybe it was a good thing that the boy was going to be the first person to hear that story.

Jungkook expected to see some reaction on Taehyung’s face but he was oddly calm. He carefully studied JK's expression as if he was trying to decide if what he had heard was real. He didn’t seem surprised and his expression was really hard to read. Or maybe it was just Jungkook who could not focus on it properly at that moment. Whatever it was, the boy quickly nodded in understanding and turned to grab the pack of cigarettes.

He took one out and offered another one for Jungkook. Of course, he accepted and a second later they were both smoking in silence. The cigarette was supposed to calm Jungkook down but it turned out to be the complete opposite. With each taste, he was even more stressed mostly because Taehyung was still silently watching the thick smoke floating around them. Just as if it could give him some answers.

Maybe it was a way? JK had to try, so he did exactly the same. Unfortunately, the smoke from his cigarette only stunk and made him gag a little, nothing else.

The silence between them only continued. A few minutes passed before Taehyung stubbed out his half-smoked cigarette on the sidewalk and indifferently threw the butt in front of him. 

“Listen, I…I don't want you to open up about something you've clearly overcome once, just to make me feel better. I don't need that,” he said firmly. “I just know this story will hurt you… and I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

“It’s not like that—”

“Jungkook, please. I can see it. It will hurt you and we can’t have two people suffering here. It would be too much.”

Maybe that is why he watched him so carefully. It was probably then that he saw that momentary fear in Jungkook’s eyes. He tried to hide it so desperately but Taehyung’s careful eye caught it in a second. There was no point in arguing with the boy because he was right. He would get hurt by that story but it was a pain he was willing to go through if it meant it would help the boy.

“Okay. You’re right,” JK admitted. “It won’t be easy but—”

“Can I… Can I say something without you interrupting me for a while?” he asked suddenly.

Jungkook wanted to point out that it was quite ironic how Taehyung cut in to ask that question but managed to stop himself just in time. If the boy wanted to speak his heart out without being forced to do so then he had to let him do it. There could be no better time for this. So JK swallowed his pride and gestured that he would not interrupt him, no matter how badly he wanted to do so just now.

“Forgive me if I'm too straightforward but… whatever you were going through you clearly managed to leave it behind. I don’t know you or your story well but I see some things and… Maybe you’re not over it entirely but… you’re fine. And this time I mean it when I say this word.”

Jungkook was about to cut in the moment he heard this hellish word but he managed to bite his tongue just in time. Fortunately, Taehyung sounded sincere as he for once used that word with its original intent. That is why he let it slide.

“Ever since I noticed something was… off, I admired the way you acted around me, around others. How strong you really were. You kept fighting for my life because you didn't want me to go through the same shit you went through. And at any given time you could have turned this whole story to be about you but you never did.”

It was partly true. Jungkook had already dealt with most of the demons from his past. And although he was a little afraid that while helping the boy, some of them might come back, nothing serious happened. He got lost only once; during that one conversation in his apartment. But maybe for the better. It was probably at this time that Taehyung decided to trust him even more.

This only confirmed his belief that he had made the right decision and he was on the right path. No matter what this strange therapist tried to tell him, he managed to get himself into a decent and stable condition. And he preferred to stay there for a little longer.

Well, he hoped Taehyung would join him soon enough.

“Maybe you don’t see it or I am really bad at showing it but… for me, you're a great example that things can get better in our lives. That there is a way out.”

Taehyung sounded confident and most importantly grateful which only made Jungkook’s heart skip a bit. He didn’t know he was so important to the boy. Not when all Taehyung did was ignore him and refuse his help at the most crucial times. 

“Yet… I’m… I'm still so reluctant to believe in it,” he continued hesitantly, his voice way more shaky than before. “Even if you’re sitting just beside me. Even if I'm looking at you with my very own eyes right now. I… I still can’t see it. It's just that irrational or maybe rational fear I have inside me which I can't shake off no matter how many times I tell myself I should.”

Taehyung immediately averted his gaze and focused on the sidewalk once again. He clearly avoided looking at Jungkook, even though just a moment ago he was staring at him with great hope, maybe even admiration. Looking away meant there was something in his eyes that he didn't want JK to see. He could pretend as much as he wanted to but his eyes always gave him away at the most important times.

“Maybe it will be the most selfish thing I have ever said but… I need you the way you are right now. Because out of all people in the world, you're probably the only one I know who will understand at least part of my story and won't judge me for my decisions.”

Jungkook tried to ignore this weird feeling he got the moment Taehyung said he needed him. He just held his breath as the boy once again looked at him.

“I believe you… deserve to know the story. But… because I want you to know it. Not because you shared yours with me. It’s not a trade or… or a favor. Seeing you get hurt won’t make me feel any better. So please, if there’s the tiniest thing about it that would hurt you, then don’t… don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it. I just… can let you get hurt because of me, okay?”

It was the second time Taehyung said it which made Jungkook wonder why it was so important for the boy. Why did he care so much about him not getting hurt with this story? Wasn’t it supposed to be JK's decision if he shares it or not? Or is he willing to get hurt by it? Why Taehyung patronized him so much? Why didn’t he let him decide about sharing his past? True, Jungkook was rather reluctant to share it but still, why did Taehyung care so much?

Maybe it was just a subconscious move. Maybe he wanted somebody who would be strong for him when he needed it the most. Just as Taehyung had said: he needed that side of him now, that good and strong side of him. Having two people suffering would be too much. If Jungkook’s image was the boy’s reminder that there was hope for him, maybe the best way was not to damage it.

Or maybe he really cared about Jungkook? Just like a friend cared for another friend? No, that was the least plausible scenario.

“I just… I promise to tell you. I’ll tell you everything but… You have to give me time to think it through, okay?” 

Taehyung sounded sincere but what made his words even more believable was his expression. He looked somehow confident, his gaze wasn’t blurry with tears, and his voice wasn’t shaky. The boy seemed to believe in his own words and it was probably the first time Jungkook believed in them as well. 

The promise Taehyung just gave him was probably one of the hardest ones to give. Jungkook was glad to hear it, to be the one Taehyung trusted the most to finally share the story, even though JK wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear it. But he was willing to wait for that moment to finally happen. If the boy needed some time, then should receive it. If Taehyung was about to open up to him, he had to do it on his terms; whatever they were.

Promise was a promise and JK had a strong feeling it meant something for the boy. That he wouldn’t take back his word. Jungkook trusted him on that but hoped he wouldn’t have to wait forever. In the boy’s case, it would be better to deal with it sooner rather than later. 

Jungkook just got a weird warm feeling inside his chest even though he could feel the cold shiver on his hands. Maybe it was because he just got away with sharing his past; it was the relief, certain calmness his body and mind felt at the moment it turned out he didn’t have to come back to those horrible times. A feeling that somebody cared for him enough to spare him the pain of going down this memory line.

“Thank you,” Jungkook blurted out.

He didn't know if he was thanking the boy for letting him keep the story to himself or for promising to share his. Or maybe it was for seeing a role model in Jungkook and trusting him enough to let him find the solution to his problem? Or maybe JK was just truly grateful that in such a low moment of his life, Taehyung managed to think about him even if he should be focusing on himself.  

Jungkook couldn’t name the reason but thank you seemed to be the right thing to say at this moment.

He also knew that this whole confession, although not as serious as the one Taehyung promised to share with him, couldn't have been easy for the boy. So to give him some support, he gently placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it slightly. He decided that was enough to give the boy some encouragement. In response to this gesture, Taehyung only curled his lips into a shy, pale smile and clenched his hands tighter.

They sat like that for a while until a woman hurried down the sidewalk and needed to use the stairs. They had to separate to let her through, and when they moved back toward each other, their arms were no longer touching.

Taehyung nervously brushed his hair and rested his head in his hand, then looked at Jungkook in a kind of disgusted way and finally asked, “D-did she come up with this brilliant idea?”

JK didn't know what he meant for a moment, but then it struck him. He had said that the therapist possibly found a way to help the boy through Jungkook’s confession. He knew it was a stupid idea from the very beginning and he couldn't believe he actually listened to the woman. He got manipulated into believing he was the only one able to help the boy when Taehyung himself told him he didn’t need such help. Ironic.  

“Yep,” he sighed, rather defeated. Or maybe he was embarrassed to admit he followed her advice which at the time seemed to be the good one.

“Shouldn’t she… try to help me without using you?” Taehyung sounded confused, which was reflected in a thin wrinkle on his forehead. “She couldn’t have known you’d be here with me. Or that you have a history.”

That was exactly what Jungkook had told the woman and he was astounded that Taehyung noticed it as well. She couldn’t be that good to guess Jungkook’s past just from a simple stare or from his body language. And even if she guessed right why did she put all the responsibility on him? It seemed a little bit inhuman to do so at this moment. Maybe if Jungkook had been more open about his past it would be more adequate but… he clearly wasn’t—this shouldn’t have escaped her eagle eye.

Fortunately, Taehyung turned out to be even more mature than JK expected. All things he told him just now were so wise and well thought out, just as if he was the therapist, not the woman. Well, JK never doubted the boy’s wisdom (despite a few completely stupid things he tried to do) but such an honest conversation was something new to Jungkook.

So maybe even if it wasn’t the greatest idea the woman had ever had, it didn’t end up that bad. After all, he got some confession out of Taehyung and he managed to avoid sharing his story. That's why Jungkook allowed himself a smirk and a slightly sarcastic remark.

“I don't think she's a good therapist.”

This only made Taehyung smile in his own unique way. At least that's how Jungkook decided to interpret the boy's rather loud snort. He knew that in the current situation, he wouldn’t allow himself to smile. Well, probably he didn’t allow himself to smile in any other situation.

“I told you not to believe their bullshit.”

“We can find a different one,” JK suggested. He didn't want the boy to give up on the therapy because of some stupid incident. “There is someone professional out there able to help you. I’m sure of it.”

Taehyung nodded shyly but it was obvious he wasn't overly convinced by the idea. JK knew it wouldn't be easy to make him go through the process of choosing the new therapist and booking another appointment, but they could talk about it tomorrow. Now wasn't the best time.

Jungkook needed to change the atmosphere a bit, so he straightened up and slapped his thighs twice as if the sound was to suggest that he was ready for further action and not necessarily sitting and moping on the stairs.

“So what now? My place? Your place?” JK asked spontaneously, but when he saw the boy's partly confused look, he had to explain, “We have to drink some tea. I think it's a tradition of ours to do so after such… conversations.”

He had a feeling that neither of them wanted to be left alone after these conversations, although neither of them was brave enough to admit it. A cup of tea was the best excuse not to part with Taehyung just yet and to keep an eye on him after what seemed to be one of the toughest evenings for both of them. And even though they both agreed it was just the tradition, deep inside they also knew it was never about some fancy herbs.

“We can go back to my place,” Taehyung suggested. “Jin is away for some conference anyway.”

This plan sounded good, but Jungkook couldn't help it and had to ask a question that was living rent-free in his head from the moment he met Seokjin.

“Why on earth does he work as a school counselor?”

He hadn't been at this school for long, and there were already a few times when Taehyung's brother was gone for some conference or meeting as his school office was empty. Shouldn’t he stay there more often? Were they okay with him skipping his work days for another work he was doing after hours or rather focused his career on? It seemed weird.

Since JK found out that Seokjin was quite a famous therapist, the one with many diplomas and seminars, not to mention his own office in the city center, he completely did not understand why the man spent his mornings at this damned school. It made absolutely no sense. Who in their right mind, with such earnings and opportunities, would waste their time on public high school kids? 

At the same time, he could have listened to the so-called problems of rich people and earned even more money than he was making right now. And yet he sat in his small office, probably cheaper than the watch he wore on his wrist, and talked to rebellious youth, trying to convey some life values to them. Taking care of their career paths, their future, colleges, unis, like a heavenly guardian. Jungkook thought nobody wanted to work in a school like this and he was proven wrong in the most unexpected way. 

“I don't know.” Taehyung shrugged. “He was already working there when I moved in. He seems to like it though.”

The boy didn’t give him the exact answer Jungkook hoped for but it had to be enough by now. Maybe the reason for Seokjin’s decision wasn’t so simple and since the brothers didn’t have such a close relationship as it might have seemed, Taehyung just didn’t know. Or maybe he wasn’t overly interested in this aspect of his brother’s life. If they did not talk a lot then this topic wasn’t the most important one to cover during their short conversations.

Ironic, how school made Seokjin more interested in Jungkook living alone and him breaking the school's policy with some tattoos than taking care of his troubled brother with whom he shared an apartment.

But it was a story for some other time. That's why Jungkook immediately got up from the stairs and energetically jumped down to the sidewalk. It was only a few steps, but such a sudden move surprised Taehyung slightly.

“Shall we go then?” JK said cheerfully and turned to see the boy's reaction. He was more than sure that the one thing Taehyung would agree to do no matter what would be to leave this hellish place somewhere far behind. 

But the boy sat still on the stairs and squeezed his hands tightly as he was thinking about something intensely. He stared at the pavement for a moment and gently bit his lip, only to look over his shoulder at the office where he had been sitting a moment ago. It was as if he regrated something and Jungkook couldn’t let him dwell on it. The best thing to do now was to come back home.

That is why as soon as the boy turned his head to look at him, JK held out his hand in front of him. He wanted to help Taehyung get up, but at the same time, he hoped that this gesture would show him that Jungkook would help him in a much more difficult situation. That he would be by his side if he needed him.

JK had already reached out to the boy in a similar way—on that fateful day on the bridge. And if back then he was really nervous about whether the boy would take his hand at all, now he was more than sure it would happen. There could be no mistake about it.

And he wasn't wrong. Taehyung focused on Jungkook's hand and finally raised his as well. JK didn't wait long and confidently grabbed the boy's icy hand, pulling Taehyung towards him.  With a little help, the boy stood up in no time and immediately landed on the sidewalk right in front of Jungkook.

Happy that he managed to move Taehyung from the stairs, Jungkook hadn’t noticed that their hands were still intertwined even when they both stood confidently on the sidewalk. There was no need to hold hands no more but somehow both of them didn’t care about it too much. It felt so natural as if they were doing it thousands of times. It took Jungkook a while to realize he should stop doing it before it got misinterpreted by the boy.

He quickly took back his hand and waved it toward the nearby bus stop where they should be going. JK cleared his throat and rushed in that direction, trying to hide this awkward feeling he just had. He hoped Taehyung didn’t notice it, so he checked up on him only once. But just as expected the boy followed him closely. However, the one thing that surprised him was that the boy had his hands hidden deep inside his pockets once again.

Chapter Text

The walk back to the apartment seemed to take even longer. Once again, they spent the entire journey in almost complete silence. Even Jungkook wasn’t eager to talk. He had his share of confessions today and these few minutes on the bus, mindlessly staring into the void, was exactly what he needed. Well, apparently, it was what they both needed.

Taehyung spaced out as well with his gaze focused on the window. He just sat beside him motionless and if it weren't for the fact that their shoulders were gently touching, Jungkook would have thought that he was there alone.

Even after entering the apartment, it felt as if they didn’t come here together. They barely spoke and Taehyung just left his things on the floor in the hall and quickly disappeared. Jungkook guessed he had gone to the kitchen but couldn’t immediately check it as he was still wearing his heavy shoes. He remembered how polished and clean everything was inside the apartment so he couldn’t fumble around in dirty shoes. It took him a while to undo all the shoelaces and take them off but when he was finally free he set off to find the boy.

Once again he was crushed by the enormous and elegant apartment. The last time he was here it seemed so luxurious and packed with expensive things, but now, in the late evening, it felt way more empty than before. It was dark outside so the only light inside came from the grand chandelier in the living room and a few LEDs in the kitchen. Such lighting set a rather weird mood. Instead of the cozy style of warm evenings cuddled under the blanket on the sofa it gave off a vibe of an abandoned place waiting for its owner who would never come back. It felt so… lonely here. 

Jungkook understood why Taehyung preferred to visit him that one night when Jin wasn’t around. If he didn’t want to be alone then he surely had to leave this hellish place. With no one else at this apartment, it was so damn sad here.

JK quickly shook his head, trying to get rid of the vision of the apartment during the rain, especially the image of big windows covered in heavy raindrops and the dark park just outside. He closed his eyes for a second and a moment later he was ready to face the boy. Just as he had thought he found him rustling in the kitchen.

The place was surely bigger than his living room and Jungkook hardly believed someone had ever cooked here. Once again, everything was clean and shone as if it were brand new. If Seokjin loved to cook then he clearly must have had an OCD of some kind because no one could convince JK he was a usual here. If it was JK’s cooking he would clearly leave a mess each time he made dinner.

But apparently, there must be someone living here as suggested by Taehyung who had opened a cabinet full of various tea boxes. There was a lot to choose from; no wonder the boy looked quite indecisive. Jungkook would have helped him with picking a certain flavor if it wasn’t for the grey, porcelain boxes the tea was kept in. JK couldn’t tell what was inside each box and he had a feeling it couldn’t be an ordinary tea—the one he always bought in the local shop down the street. He was sure it was some fancy shit he has never drunk in his plebeian life.

“Jeez, how many of these do you have here?” JK couldn't hide his surprise.

Taehyung gently turned his head to glance at Jungkook. Their faces were just inches from each other as JK was looking over the boy’s shoulder at the contents of the cabinet.

“They're not mine,” he admitted shily without moving away. “Yun’s a huge tea-lover.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Jungkook said sarcastically, although, with such a variety of choices and the usage of fancy boxes, he would rather say that Seokjin’s wife had some unhealthy obsession.

“So which one do you want?”

“Me? Well, I'm not a heavy tea drinker, just put whatever you feel like. The one you made last week was okay.”

It didn't matter that much. JK wouldn't know the difference between the teas anyway; his commoner’s taste buds were too ordinary for such sublime tastes. He wondered if all these great connoisseurs could tell them apart for real or just made up some nonsense comments as they drank it. Either way, Jungkook liked the simplest black tea his favorite shop owner always recommended him.

Besides, now it was mostly about the tradition of having a cup of tea more than actually enjoying it. That is why he left the choice for Taehyung—he was an expert in this topic. And if it could help him focus on the process of making the tea instead of thinking about what had happened just before at the therapist’s office it would be even better.

Taehyung nodded in tiny with that adorable but weird expression on his face and reached for one of the silver boxes. He placed it on the counter and gently closed the cabinet. However, instead of taking a kettle, he paused for a moment, as if he suddenly remembered something.  

Jungkook tried to guess what made the boy stop in his tracks and as nothing came to his mind at an instant, he preferred Taehyung to finally explain what was going on. So when this weird silence and anticipation got uncomfortably prolonged, JK spoke up, “What?”

It seemed to wake Taehyung up from this weird trance he got himself into. He had no choice but to explain himself which he did a moment later.

“Ah… I just thought… I know the tea is the tradition but… Maybe you’d like some coffee?” he suggested before adding quietly, “I know you like coffee.”

Oh, that was something new for Jungkook as he didn’t expect to be offered coffee right now. It was rather late and he wasn’t in need for an energy boost (he had quite a lot of it already after today’s meetings). Besides, he was sure his heart wouldn’t survive another hit like this. He could already feel the weird stinging inside his chest. He didn’t need more of it.

But in the end, coffee seemed to be the better choice to ease his mind a little. He liked it way more than some fancy-ass tea and he could use something positive right now. Well, coffee wouldn’t help with his still shaking hands but it could somehow make him less stressed. And JK had a feeling that he would not be offered a coffee by Taehyung anywhere near in the future so he had to grasp the opportunity when he saw one.

It was definitely the right choice. However, there was one problem with it.  

“I do like coffee but… you don't like it.”

“I don't like its taste, not the smell. I can manage that. Or so I hope.”

That last comment made Jungkook smile a little. It was such an absurd confession, just like the fact that the boy didn't like coffee. JK still couldn’t believe the boy resented the God’s liquor like that but at least he had no problems with its scent. It was probably the most attractive thing about coffee. Maybe similarly attractive as Taehyung’s intention of sacrificing himself just for Jungkook’s satisfaction and his favorite drink. 

“Jin has some special blend and quite expensive coffee machine, so I guess it’s worth trying.”

Taehyung continued when JK didn’t give him an answer. Well, Jungkook didn’t need to be persuaded to choose coffee (he would do it at any time of day or night), so he cast the boy a bright half-smile and quickly nodded.

“Sure. I’d like that.”

Taehyung mumbled something under his nose but almost immediately went on with preparing the drinks. He took one cup from the top cabinet and put it inside the coffee machine standing in the corner of the room. Indeed, it was one of the more expensive ones, judging solely from its size and shiny elements. Everything about it almost screamed that they took it from a good coffee shop and it was enough for Jungkook to be extremely hyped for that one cup of coffee.

The boy clicked something on the screen, just as if he was a pro barista, despite his rather reluctant approach to coffee and everything connected with it. Jungkook guessed he must have done it a few times for his brother or some guests coming to his house. He surely didn’t learn it just for his own usage.

So at the same time the coffee was being prepared he took care of his tea. Jungkook followed his movements as he poured the boiling water into his white mug. He did it with extreme precision but JK could easily tell his thoughts were somewhere else. Even if he seemed to be focused on his cup of tea, he probably still thought about what had happened earlier. Just as if the tea was a painful reminder they should have been talking about something completely different as of now.

Jungkook saw it in his uncertain expression and restless gaze which seemed to be following every little thing around him without choosing the one point to focus on. Then Taehyung sighed heavily while putting down the kettle, almost missing the spot. How he had managed to pour the tea without spilling water all around was a great mystery for Jungkook.

That is why when the machine beeped gently, suggesting that the coffee was ready and the smell of freshly ground coffee got spread in the kitchen, Jungkook took a step forward to get his cup. He didn’t want to bother Taehyung who clearly wasn’t in the best state, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Besides, the encounters with coffee couldn’t be his favorite ones so JK wanted to spare him such torture.

But surprisingly Taehyung did exactly the same thing and as he was closer to the coffee machine he was the first one to take the cup. He grabbed it quickly and turned around without noticing Jungkook standing just beside him. And with such chaotic movements, Jungkook had no time to react or dodge, so the boy's left hand along with a cup full of delicious-smelling coffee landed straight on his shirt. The coffee got magnificently splashed on his clothes as the cup shattered with a bang on the white floor, splattering the rest of the coffee on the bottom of the cabinets.

JK hissed, feeling the almost boiling water burning on his stomach and parts of his jeans. He quickly looked down as he bit his lips to endure the pain. It wasn’t that bad. If it was he surely would have sworn out loud by now. Instead, he just grimaced feeling the uncomfortable stinging on his burned skin. He just hoped it wouldn’t be anything overly harmful.  

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

Taehyung immediately apologized as he was in no less shock than Jungkook. He looked worried and confused at the same time as he completely didn’t know how to behave. It took him a while to realize what had happened and to find the best possible solution to the mess he had made. He finally came to his senses and reached for the paper towel but his hands were shaking even more than before.

He tried to wipe the coffee off Jungkook's shirt but it didn’t help much. The cleaning became even a bigger mess than the splashed coffee as they couldn't agree on who should do what. JK continued to gently lift and wave his T-shirt to get rid of the hot liquid that still stung his skin. In turn, Taehyung touched the T-shirt with a crumpled towel and pushed the material in the other direction, pressing it to JK’s body once again. 

Such chaos did not satisfy Jungkook, who finally reached for the paper to take it from the boy's hand and deal with the stain himself. But the boy was so concerned and fixed on the T-shirt that he didn't want to let go.

"It's fine, just let me do it," Jungkook said softly and tried to take over the paper but Taehyung didn't seem to notice.

He was still mumbling incoherent apologies as he was trying to clean the T-shirt. These chaotic actions led nowhere and only disturbed Jungkook rather than help him, so it had to end at once. That is why JK confidently put his hand on top of Taehyung’s, hoping it would make him give up the paper. 

It took Taehyung a moment to realize that he wasn't struggling with the dirty T-shirt anymore but with Jungkook's hand. And only this realization finally calmed him down. He stopped moving his hand but didn't remove it either. It was just there, still holding the paper until Jungkook gently slipped his fingers from the back of Taehyung's hand and gripped the paper tighter. Only then did he back off with a small shake of his head.  

And while Jungkook focused on his dirty T-shirt and jeans, Taehyung couldn't stand by idly so he started taking care of the completely flooded floor. Considering how clean and white the kitchen was, such a brown puddle on half of the floor looked quite drastic. Taehyung started by catching the largest elements of the broken cup so that none of them would end up with a piece of glass in their feet and then went on with cleaning up the coffee with one of the rags.

When Jungkook saw how the boy tried to clean everything with his bare hands, he suddenly felt a need to help him—mainly because it would be a great sin if Taehyung got a coffee stain on this beautiful sunflower shirt. This masterpiece was way more precious than all the clothes JK wore. Besides, they were already dirty so he should be the one cleaning.

He wanted to bend down to help Taehyung but the burn on his stomach was much more painful than he expected. He gritted his teeth and started fanning his shirt even harder, desperately needing to cool the burn down. And even though Taehyung was crouching on the floor he noticed Jungkook’s grimace of pain almost immediately.

“The bathroom is upstairs,” he said as if he could read Jungkook's mind. “Come.”

He dropped the rag, stood up quickly, and headed for the stairs, so JK did the same. They quickly found themselves upstairs, passing Taehyung’s room and reaching the bathroom that was at the end of the hall.

Not surprisingly, the bathroom was huge but Jungkook didn't have time to explore or admire its fancy decorum. He went straight to the sink and set the water as cold as possible. He dipped his hand in the icy stream and then slipped it under his shirt to immediately feel some relief. It didn't last long, though, so he gently lifted his shirt to look at his wound. His skin was slightly reddened, but not enough to make him seriously worried. A few minutes by the sink should be enough to feel better, so he placed his cold hand on his stomach once again.

Only then did he remember that he hadn't come here alone. He slowly looked away from his T-shirt and looked at Taehyung, who stood at the open door. However, before JK could determine whether the boy had seen anything of his chaotic behavior, he meekly walked toward the sink and placed a white towel on it. A moment later he disappeared without saying a word.

Jungkook didn't understand what it was all about but that wasn’t the most important thing right now. He eagerly grabbed a towel, soaked the end of it in icy water, and put it under his T-shirt. It was supposed to work as a makeshift compress and it actually worked—he no longer had to wet his hand every few seconds.

Saving some time in this way, he could finally look in the mirror and assess the scale of damage done to his clothes. The T-shirt was all wet from the lower part of his chest but it was the stomach where the stain was the biggest as it covered almost the whole width of the T-shirt. Such a shame. Even if it was one of the many white T-shirts in his closet, he really liked that one. He has always been oddly sentimental when it came to clothes.

As the T-shirt seemed to be the lost case, he focused on his jeans. They were in a much better state, mostly because they were black by default. He could see a few smaller spots on the thighs, but they seemed to be manageable. So, taking advantage of the fact that his hands were now free, he tried to clean his jeans before the coffee would dry. It wasn't a difficult task so he quickly got it over with. Or at least he hoped that his efforts would be enough. Shopping for new jeans was horrible.

Taehyung suddenly returned to the bathroom holding a pile of clothes, which he placed on the sink, just like the towel a few minutes ago. He gently patted them with his hand to make Jungkook notice them.

“You should change to something less wet and less coffee-ish.”

Somehow this remark made Jungkook smile even though there was nothing funny about it. Taehyung wasn’t smiling either. He only held out his hand as if he was expecting something from Jungkook. So when JK frowned, he quickly explained, “Give me this T-shirt. I'll wash it for you.”

Such a suggestion surprised Jungkook a little, mainly because he didn't think there was anything to wash here. The T-shirt looked rather ruined unless the boy was some kind of a laundry magician. 

“I don't think it can be saved.”

“It can. Trust me.”

Taehyung took a step forward as if to force the boy to give him his T-shirt. He was rather confident with his words, which was suspicious, to say the least. But then again, maybe it shouldn't be. The boy was a fashion guru and probably had quite a knowledge about different materials. Maybe he also knew some special methods and treatments to deal with such incidents. When the shirt from his holly collection got damaged there had to be a way to save it—something like the fashion ER of a kind.

However, in Jungkook’s case, it was just a T-shirt; nothing out of a kind or legendary. It wasn't worth the boy's work. JK could do without it.

“Come on, it's just a T-shirt. You don't have to—"

He wanted to explain himself and discourage Taehyung from taking his T-shirt but the boy cast him a telling look and with a rather indifferent expression on his face moved his hand closer to Jungkook. 

Taehyung didn't have to say anything. JK knew exactly what this gesture meant. And although he could have continued to resist, he decided that there was no point in doing so. The boy would insist anyway, and if Jungkook agreed, it would at least ease the boy's burning conscience. What’s more, there was a chance he would get his clean shirt back. There were no drawbacks in this plan which is why he finally sighed and nodded, suggesting that he would cooperate.

It should have been enough for the boy to let go but apparently, it wasn’t. That's why he was surprised when Taehyung still stood over him with his hand out expectantly waiting for something. Only after a moment did Jungkook realize what he meant by that.

“W-what? R-right now?”

“You're not going to sit here in a wet T-shirt, are you?”

“Well, but—”

“Just take it off.”

The last sentence almost sounded like an order, which made Jungkook stop protesting at once. He didn't feel like undressing in front of a boy, but he obviously had no choice. He didn't understand why it suddenly bothered him so much. He'd never had much of a problem with it, and yet now he suddenly felt shy. However, he quickly realized that he was clearly making it weird as there was nothing wrong with this gesture—just a friendly help.

So he sighed and finally grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He tried to do it so that the wet material wouldn't touch his face or hair, but it was rather inevitable. He struggled a bit but finally managed to take it off. At the same time, he immediately grabbed the towel that was supposed to cling to his skin so that it wouldn't slide to the floor. Now he had to hold it himself, but he felt he wouldn't need it for much longer. The burn wasn’t that painful anymore.

He meekly hung the shirt over Taehyung's hand and glanced at him briefly. He didn't feel his eyes on him as he changed clothes, although he expected it might happen. The boy just glanced at the towel that stuck to his stomach, then nodded and left the bathroom after saying a silent thank you.

JK closed the door and took a deep breath before leaning helplessly against the sink. He had to get a hold of himself as quickly as possible.

He rubbed his stomach with a towel one last time and went through the clothes Taehyung had brought him. It was a plain gray T-shirt that seemed large but only at first glance; maybe it was oversized for Taehyung, but definitely not for Jungkook. Even though they were the same height, they were built differently, and he had proof of that in his hands. However, he had no intention of being picky, so he just put the T-shirt on. 

Taehyung left him a pair of sporty shorts as well, so considering his jeans were wet from wiping off the coffee stains, he was eager to put them on. As he got changed and then tried to wash his jeans once again—this time even more precisely. All of it was not only to save his jeans from a painful coffee assassination but also to not give the boy an excuse to try and take them away for special treatment just like the T-shirt. That would be way too much. Taehyung wasn’t his maid.

Jungkook washed his hands for the last time (finally with some pleasurably warm water) and left the bathroom in search of the boy. Well, finding Taehyung in this apartment wasn’t an easy task. Firstly, JK still didn't know its layout, and snooping around didn’t seem to be the right thing to do without Taehyung’s supervision. And secondly, the boy’s movements were always supernaturally quiet—he made no sound at all. Therefore, Jungkook decided that the safest option was to go to the kitchen and wait for him there. Maybe even start cleaning up the mess that remained on the floor.

He was eager to help with cleaning but when he entered the kitchen area the coffee mess was gone. It looked as if nothing had happened here; no cup was broken, no coffee was spilled, and no one got a painful burn. But clearly, Jungkook did not imagine this incident; he got proof of that on his stomach, right?

And as to confirm his memory was intact with his sanity he noticed Taehyung in the corner—the boy was just finishing mopping the floor.

He was still wearing that beautiful sunflower shirt but fortunately, Jungkook couldn’t see any coffee stain on it—that would be a shame if it got damaged because of this stupid incident. Why was he even cleaning in this fashion masterpiece? That was sacrilegious. At least, Taehyung rolled up the sleeves of the shirt up to the elbows. Probably not to get them as wet as his hands were.

Taehyung’s hair was messy even before they came back home; Jungkook remembered the strong grip of the boy’s fingers on it while they were sitting on the stairs in front of the therapist’s office. However, now his beautiful black waves seemed to be a little more worn out and greasy as they fell on his forehead. They moved slightly with each subsequent movement Taehyung made as if they were trying to help him mop the floor.

A single droplet of sweat rolled down the boy’s temple and he quickly wiped it off with the back of his hand, marking the end of this big cleaning. He straightened up, took a deep breath, and rested his weight on the mop stick. When he ran his gaze over the kitchen he finally noticed Jungkook standing at its other side.

“Ah, you’re here,” he sighed. “No need to worry. Your T-shirt will be fine tomorrow.”

Taehyung smiled faintly and froze his gaze on Jungkook for a little bit longer. He probably needed a second to get used to seeing JK in his clothes. But before such an examination could turn into an uncomfortable one the boy started to collect all the cleaning supplies and a moment later he disappeared somewhere, leaving Jungkook alone with his own thoughts.

Jungkook was more than shocked. He didn't really care about his T-shirt right now. He was much more impressed with the boy as he managed to take care of everything on such short notice. JK was gone for approximately fifteen minutes at it was enough for Taehyung to clean the whole kitchen and somehow save his T-shirt. It was impossible to do it without being some kind of sorcerer or having a time-stopper.

Maybe that is why Jungkook still couldn’t find the words when Taehyung came back to the kitchen and walked to the sink to carefully wash his hands with a creamy soap.

“T-thanks,” JK stuttered a little, “but… you didn’t have to do this all alone. I would have helped you.”

“No, no.” Taehyung shook his head. “You’re a guest here. It would be inappropriate to make you clean the mess I made. Ah… I’m sorry for my clumsiness.”

“Don’t be, it’s nothing—"

“Do you want another coffee?” 

Taehyung cut it and asked but had never intended to wait for the response. He wiped his hands with a small towel and rushed toward the coffee machine. Jungkook was taken by surprise by a sudden question but fortunately managed to react just in time and took a step in the same direction.

“There's no need for it,” Jungkook said firmly before the boy could touch any of the buttons. “I think we both have had enough coffee for today, right?”

Jungkook didn’t really need coffee anymore. He could still smell it on himself which efficiently discouraged him from drinking one—probably for the first time in his life. Besides, he didn’t want to bother Taehyung anymore. The boy was clearly tired after everything that had happened that day, both back in the therapist's office and now in his apartment. He needed some rest.

Fortunately, Taehyung understood his words and gave up the fight for the coffee machine. He nodded sadly and Jungkook could tell the boy tried to find a way to compensate him for ruining this evening. Except that JK didn't need any compensation. Maybe that incident was a kind of blessing after all? Instead of sitting in the kitchen in silence and thinking about the serious talk from the stairs, they got distracted enough to forget about it for a while.

However, Jungkook was sure that regardless of how busy Taehyung was with cleaning he couldn’t clean his mind as well.  

“Maybe we should stick to the tea?” JK suggested. “I believe the coffee accident was a punishment for breaking the tradition.”

Jungkook smiled, hoping this rather unserious comment would cheer the boy up a little or at least make him feel less guilty. In the end, it was the universe taking revenge on them for not drinking some tea during the serious conversation. Unfortunately, Taehyung didn’t see it that way and started preparing the tea with a serious expression on his face.

JK wasn’t overly happy about it but on the other hand, what was he counting on? After everything the boy had experienced today, Jungkook couldn't have expected to suddenly encounter a more relaxed version of Taehyung. Certainly, not after one silly comment he had said. This wasn't the day for that if there ever was one. So JK just slowly sat down on the stool by the island and watched as the boy poured boiling water into two cups.

After a while, there was a pleasant smell of some herbs in the kitchen, contrasting with the previous strong smell of coffee. Jungkook took a good sniff of his herbs and couldn’t help but ask, “What’s that?”

If it tasted as good as it smelled, maybe he should think about asking for it the next time he visits his local shop. He hoped it wasn’t something overly fancy and available in any store.

Taehyung sat on the other side of the island and tilted his head a little before answering, “It’s chamomile.”

“Just chamomile?”

Jungkook looked inside his cup to make sure. How could he not recognize its taste? Maybe it was some fancy type of chamomile available only for the rich tea-drinkers and that is why it tasted differently? JK couldn’t really tell but he liked it.

“Chamomile is good for skin and healing skin wounds that’s why I thought… you’ll need some, especially now.” He gave him a half-telling and half-apologetic look as it was obvious he got Jungkook’s burn on his mind. “It would be better as a compress but it also has some calming qualities as a brew so… drink up.”  

And Jungkook did just as he was told. He immediately felt a pleasurably warm feeling inside his chest. However, he wasn’t sure if it was because of the hot tea he had just drunk or because he was flattered that Taehyung cared about him in this way. The boy could have made him a cup of normal black tea and Jungkook would have been happy. Yet this small gesture of picking chamomile was so endearing. So much so JK had to smile in between the next sips.

“Thank you,” Jungkook whispered and raised his cup a little.

Taehyung cast him a faint smile just a second before looking down. He cupped his hands around his white mug and focused solely on a few leaves floating inside it. Jungkook wondered what was his choice. Did he also put some chamomile? Or did he opt for some other herbs? Maybe it was his favorite tea—the one he liked to drink while studying?

Whatever it was Taehyung didn’t seem to be overly interested in it. Jungkook could tell he had something else on his mind as he was once again mindlessly staring at his mug. With everything that had happened today, it wasn’t easy to sort out all his thoughts and emotions. He needed some time to calm down and rethink and the first thing that happened after they came back home was that coffee incident. And that was quite a big mess. No time to rest.

They sat in silence for a little while and Jungkook kept studying the boy carefully. Taehyung looked as if he was frozen in time, lost deep down inside his thoughts, which was quite worrying. It was exactly what JK expected to see after coming back to the apartment; the coffee incident just pushed that moment further in time. And as the moment had just come, Jungkook decided to intervene now when he still could.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Jungkook said suddenly, hoping it would get the boy out of this weird quiet state. The truth was he would pay much more than a penny just to know what was on his mind right now.

Taehyung finally looked up. He seemed uneasy or maybe just embarrassed to be caught daydreaming like that. He quickly straightened up on his chair and lifted his mug to his lips. For a while, Jungkook thought he did it to hide his face behind it but in the end, the boy took a long sip of his tea. It looked kind of forced but JK decided to ignore it.

“Umm, I have been thinking…”

Taehyung started but seemed uncertain if he should continue or not. That made JK more warry as he focused on the boy’s next words. They could be extremely meaningful, if what he had been thinking just now was connected to any of their previous conversations. Maybe it was better to voice out his concerns right now when Jungkook was still by his side. Leaving them for later could mean another sleepless night for Taehyung. Though that would probably happen anyway.

“Look, your clothes are ruined, it’s getting late and you probably must be exhausted after… everything that happened today. So… you can stay the night if you want to.”

“Oh,” Jungkook was taken by surprise by that idea—that was the last thing he thought he would hear now. All the time JK was sure the boy got caught in some bad memories and deep thoughts but as it turned out Taehyung was thinking about him? Nah, it didn’t seem right.

However, what didn’t surprise him was that Taehyung decided to leave out serious matters and force a completely different topic. Jungkook could bet the boy had his mind set on something else but he decided to follow this new narrative, especially when it directly mentioned Jungkook.

So Taehyung proposed he could stay a night and that was… new. Not that Jungkook didn’t want to stay but it just felt weird to agree immediately. It wasn’t his first intention when he came here and he couldn’t let Taehyung think he hoped for it from the very beginning. That’s why he asked, honestly concerned, “What about your brother? Or… his wife. I don’t want to… you know, disturb them.”

“Ah, you don’t have to worry about them. I told you, Jin’s away for a conference and Yun went with him so… I’ll be here alone till Sunday evening. Besides, they certainly wouldn’t mind you staying for a night. Unless you don’t want to then—”

“No,” JK quickly cut in. “Actually, I’m glad that you asked. I’m tired and it would be way easier to sleep here tonight than coming back home.”

It was way more convenient to stay than try to catch a night bus home or go there on foot at that hour. Jungkook could do it tomorrow morning before classes or even after school as he left all the needed textbooks in his locker. He had all reasonable arguments to stay but the real one was the most trivial out of them; he just didn’t want to go.

Knowing that the boy would spend this night alone with no one else by his side made this sleepover a necessity. There was no way possible that Jungkook could let him stay here alone with his raging thoughts and unanswered questions. Besides, living in this enormous but empty mansion by himself, even if it was only for a few days, must have been so fucking lonely. And JK couldn’t let Taehyung feel lonely that night.

“So if it’s okay with you, then I’ll stay.” Jungkook smiled with shy gratitude. “Thanks.”

Taehyung nodded and seemed quite happy that he managed to convince Jungkook to stay, although it looked more like a relief rather than actual happiness. He probably wanted to take care of JK in return for what he made him go through a few minutes ago. It was even more obvious when he suddenly stood up.

“No problem. I’ll just… Uh, I’ll bring you the blanket and a pillow and—”

“Sit down.”

Jungkook extended his hand as if it could stop the boy from going anywhere. The truth was he wasn’t even able to reach him—the island was quite big. Nevertheless, the gesture helped as Taehyung immediately stopped in his tracks and looked at Jungkook.

“You can do this later,” JK explained his sudden behavior. “Now sit down, drink some tea when it’s still hot, and take some rest. Don’t tempt the dark forces by breaking the tradition. It didn’t go well the last time, remember?”

This time it was Jungkook who tried to persuade Taehyung to stay. He knew the argument about the tradition was rather weak but he had to hold on to something the boy would be willing to agree on. He just wanted Taehyung to finally take some rest and relax a little; even if it was only a few minutes in his kitchen.

Taehyung didn’t seem convinced as he looked torn between listening to Jungkook and escaping the situation by going for the necessary thing for this sleepover. He gently bit his lip but it was enough for it to catch a lively color. It was probably for the first time today that his lips weren’t blue from stress or cold. And Jungkook was sure they would stay charmingly red like this if only Taehyung deepened them into his cup of hot tea.

That is why Jungkook felt that warm feeling inside his chest when Taehyung finally nodded and sat down in his chair.

Chapter Text

Jungkook was lying on the couch with his hands under his head and watched the moonlight reflected in the crystal elements of a grand chandelier. He was fascinated by how the dim light got separated into small rainbows and he wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before. Maybe he could see it only at night? Maybe the chandelier was indeed a magical thing designed by the best of the best?

He didn’t know but there was nothing else he could think about. Even the weirdest thoughts were coming to his mind as he couldn’t force himself to get some sleep. He was tired, so freaking tired, yet somehow his eyes were wide open as the sleep had never come. And Jungkook couldn’t really tell why.

The couch in the living room was comfortable, well, it was the most comfortable couch he was ever laying on. He got a fluffy and warm blanket and a squishy pillow Taehyung gave him just before he went upstairs. The boy also gifted him a special ointment for burns and as soon as Jungkook applied it on the slightly reddened skin on his stomach, he felt way better. Not that he was severely hurt but it was better to take care of it; just to make sure it would not leave a scar.

So Jungkook had everything; every element in the formula for a comfortable sleep. Yet somehow he was still awake.

He blamed it on everything that had happened that evening. All the conversations he had, first with the therapist and later with Taehyung. They weren’t easy for him and maybe that is why he subconsciously still thought about those topics. It took him some time to put all the memories in the right place, somewhere in the back of his head, and in the end, he felt… fine. Almost as if he had never confessed his past struggles to the boy.

So why the hell can’t I sleep? He tried to understand but no logical reason came to his mind.

He turned to the other side, trying to find a more comfortable position, when it struck him. Maybe it was this apartment’s fault? Now, when he was alone in the living room it truly was so lonely here with all that silence and emptiness surrounding him. So much so that Jungkook felt a ghastly shiver running down his spine. Oh, how he missed his cozy bed.

Jungkook grunted and got up. He had to do something—it couldn’t go on like this. However, he didn’t have many options for now. He didn’t want to be nosy and walk around someone’s house at night, making himself something warm to drink was a bit troublesome taking into consideration what had happened in the kitchen before, and he didn’t have any sleeping peel on him that night. There was nothing he could do.

In the end, he decided to go to the bathroom and wash his face with some cold water. Sometimes it helped him—especially when he needed to cool down some rising fiery emotions or to organize his raging thoughts. It was worth a try.  

He silently climbed the stairs as the only bathroom he knew about was there. He got used to the darkness inside the apartment but the bright moonlight was much of a help to guide him upstairs. He confidently strode toward his destination as he suddenly realized that he was about to pass Taehyung’s room. He stopped just in front of the doors which, much to his surprise, were opened. Jungkook was sure he heard Taehyung closing them a few hours ago but clearly he must have imagined it. And that only made Jungkook question what might be happening inside.

He hoped it was only a coincidence and Taehyung slept peacefully. Jungkook didn’t hear anything weird coming from the boy’s room; not a quiet sob or cry, just as he used to do while sleeping in his apartment. And he would surely have heard it, even if he was lying downstairs. The apartment was so silent at night that even the quietest sound resonated everywhere; especially when the doors to his room were opened.

Jungkook gave in and peeked inside the room, hiding behind the frame—just in case. He discreetly leaned out and tried to quickly assess what was happening inside. The room was semi-dark, thanks to the moonlight coming through the large, full-wall window and in such conditions finding Taehyung wasn’t that hard. JK quickly noticed the boy sitting on his bed. Unfortunately, against Jungkook’s wishes, Taehyung was awake.

He was leaning back against the wall with his legs curled up to his chin which made him look like a small ball. Especially when his head was resting on his knees as he stared mindlessly at the window. It looked like Taehyung got frozen in time, in this one moment, and all that mattered was that damn window. If it wasn’t for some steady breaths he took from time to time, Jungkook would have been worried he magically turned into the moonlight sculpture.

From the distance, Jungkook couldn't clearly see if Taehyung was crying or not. He kind of expected it to happen but there was absolutely nothing indicating it: he was quiet, his shoulders weren’t shaking, and there were no wet streaks on his cheeks reflecting the moonlight. And even though all the signs suggested the less tragic image of the boy, JK knew that the only way to truly be sure was to see Taehyung’s eyes. The answer was there and as of now, it was covered by his black curls.

Jungkook was more than sure that he would not be able to sleep unless he found out what was happening there. Taehyung state wasn’t promising and it wasn’t even raining. In fact, it was a clear night; no clouds, no rain, only a full moon, and a starry sky. So what was the reason for the boy’s insomnia then?

Well, the answer was pretty simple. It probably was all those thoughts he had to organize after such an eventful day. The very same ones he started to have in the kitchen just before Jungkook managed to change the topic and made Taehyung focus on something else instead. Now when he was left alone, all those thoughts finally caught him. He had nowhere to hide and no one to distract him.

Except that he had someone to help him.

JK took a step forward and stood in the doorway. He hoped that maybe it would be enough to catch the boy's attention but he was wrong—Taehyung was still staring at the window. Jungkook tried once again, this time by knocking gently on the opened door, yet he still got no response.

He was slightly reluctant to go inside without Taehyung’s permission but at this point, it seemed to be the best thing to do. That is why he quietly walked toward the bed, feeling as if he was approaching a unique species. He did it carefully, afraid that one wrong movement could startle the boy. And he really didn’t want to scare him or make him uncomfortable creeping like that.

Jungkook stopped at the edge of the bed with his knee touching the silky sheets which slid off a little. It was the closest he could get to the boy and Taehyung still didn’t notice his presence. Or maybe he did but decided to ignore him? No, it didn’t look like this was the case. With that state the boy just got himself into, he was probably so absorbed in his thoughts that he wouldn’t have noticed the house being on fire.

And that wasn’t promising at all.

“Taehyung?” he whispered softly.

JK waited restlessly for a response, hoping it would make Taehyung look away from that damn window. Fortunately, it worked, as the boy slowly turned his head and locked his gaze on Jungkook. And that one look gave JK all the answers he needed.

Just as he assumed earlier, his eyes were wet, shining a little like a glassy water surface in a calm moon lake. They seemed to be bigger than usual but maybe it was because of those few tears hanging on his eyelashes. However, they were not falling down his cheeks, just as if they were holding on to these eyelashes for their dear life. It looked like Taehyung wanted to cry but just couldn't. 

He had no intention of hiding it either. He didn't try to forcefully wipe his eyes or remove the tears—he kind of looked like he didn’t have the strength to do that. He just was, sitting lifelessly on a bed with a numb body that seemed to forget how to move on its own. And if it wasn’t a ghastly image then the boy’s empty stare surely was. He just stared at Jungkook with his hollow black eyes, but Jungkook didn't even know what he was trying to tell him.

Damn, it looked so devastating. That's why Jungkook didn't think long before climbing onto the bed and sitting next to the boy.

He leaned against the wall, curled up his legs, and shook his head a little to remove the hair that fell on his forehead in the process. JK looked at the boy to see if his actions changed something, but Taehyung didn’t move or flinch, not even when the bed cracked a little under Jungkook’s weight. The one thing he did however was to look away and stare at the window once again.

There was nothing Jungkook could do to draw the boy’s attention and he didn’t quite know if it was the right thing to do anyway. Asking what was wrong made no sense—that was rather obvious from the very beginning. The simple question of how did the boy feel was pointless as well. Basically, every question was pointless when Taehyung was in such a state of mind. 

The last time this happened in his apartment the boy didn't want to talk, JK expected he wouldn’t like to talk now either. So Jungkook prepared himself for a long night of sitting in silence and listening to a few occasional sobs. But JK was fine with it. Sometimes what was needed the most was a person who would just be by your side. 

That is why he scooped a little closer to Taehyung but this time he left a decent space between their arms. He had a feeling that even the smallest touch would have a great impact on the boy. He just didn’t know if it would be for the better or for worse and he couldn’t really risk it right now.

So a few minutes passed like this and Jungkook couldn’t shake the memory of their very first encounter—the one on the rooftop of Lisa’s garage. The situation was pretty much the same. They were both sitting by the wall in complete silence, while Taehyung was pretty much ignoring him with his gaze locked somewhere in the distance. JK could say a lot had changed since that evening and yet history repeated itself in the cozy surroundings of Taehyung’s bed.

And if that time Jungkook didn’t want to leave the boy alone because he was curious about how it was to talk with a walking perfection, then this time he wouldn’t be able to force himself to leave no matter how many cigarette packs Taehyung would throw at him to deliver.

When did it all become so messed up? Jungkook asked himself but the answer was pretty simple—it all had been messed up from the very beginning.

“Jungkook?”

He heard his name and immediately came down to earth, leaving all the previous unanswered questions behind. He quickly looked at the boy who seemed to be calling him. For a second he thought he might have imagined it as Taehyung was still staring at the window, but his mind couldn’t be so cruel to play tricks on him right now. That is why he just whispered, “Yes?”

For a long while nothing happened. Jungkook was willing to believe he truly had imagined Taehyung calling his name when the boy finally turned to face him. His expression didn’t change much but he seemed to be a little more lively than before. That was a good sign because Jungkook had no clue what the boy might have wanted from him right now.

“Would you… would you have told me about your past if I hadn't stopped you?”

The question was oddly specific and judging from the boy’s worried voice and expectant gaze, Taehyung awaited the answer with great anticipation. Jungkook didn’t know why the boy suddenly came back to their conversation from the stairs but he had a feeling the answer was extremely important for him. And if he mentioned it just now then was he thinking about it before? Was it a reason for his weird state?

Jungkook had no clue but the best way was to answer. However, he carefully chose each of the following words knowing how influential they might be on the boy. He took a deep breath preparing himself for what was about to come.

“If it could help you somehow… then probably yes.”

Even if it wasn’t the easiest thing to say, there was no point in denying it right now. Back at the stairs, he had already decided to share the story and open up about his past. He even mentioned the lowest moment of his life: the fourteenth-floor accident was something nobody knew about; nobody besides Jungkook. And if that confession slipped out of his mouth so easily, telling the rest of the story shouldn’t be much of the problem either. Even though it was much more complicated than a few lonely minutes on that damn rooftop.

Besides, JK truly believed he was helping the boy and that was all that counted at that time. No matter how hurtful the story was.

Taehyung listened carefully, taking a good measure of each word. His gaze wandered around Jungkook’s entire face, finally stopping at his eyes for a moment longer. It seemed like he was trying to decide if what he had heard was true, to check if JK didn’t put a second or third meaning to his words or if he wasn’t bluntly lying to make him feel better.

Such behavior only ensured Jungkook that his words were extremely important to the boy. Regardless of what Taehyung wanted or expected to hear, Jungkook decided to just speak his heart out. He had no intention of hiding anything. At this point in their relationship truth and honesty were the most important factors. They were the key to finally get to the real Taehyung.

“I would have told you everything but… to be honest, I’m glad that you did stop me,” he admitted with a heavy sight. “I might seem tough but speaking about my weaknesses is not easy.”

“My past… I just put all of it, every hurtful memory, every haunting thought, and every regret into one big box. Then I throw it through the window, hoping it will never come back to me. I chose to forget and move on. That is why I never speak about it and I’ve never told anyone about it either. Those times were just awful. There’s no need to… dwell.”

Jungkook took a break to breathe a little and to see the boy’s reaction. JK felt like with each word he said Taehyung focused on him even more, even though his gaze was already so intense. He listened carefully, his face still emotionless, as if nothing really got to him. However, JK knew the next words would not be easy for Taehyung to accept, no matter how indifferent he tried to be.

“I guess you were right. Telling the story right now would hurt me.”

There was no point in hiding it anymore. No matter how many times he tried to tell himself he was over everything that happened in Atlanta, the truth was he simply ran away. That’s why he moved back to Austin; to get away from the city that caused him only pain and make some new memories in a place he once loved so much. In a place where he felt remotely happy, with people who once made him happy.

That is why he was so hesitant to tell Jimin the truth. Opening that box of disastrous memories would not only hurt Jungkook but surely break his friend’s heart. It was better to keep the box hidden somewhere out of reach for as long as it was possible.

Jungkook thought it would be enough to forget about everything and move on when unfortunately in the first weeks of his new life in Austin, he had to come across Taehyung. It felt like fate was mocking him by giving him another problem to solve. The very same one he escaped from just a while ago. How could the world be so cruel?

Maybe it was something greater than the stupid revenge of whoever was pulling the strings up there. Maybe it was supposed to be just like that. Maybe Jungkook had been sent there, to this damn bridge, at this particular moment, on purpose. Because who, if not him, could better understand Taehyung and what he was trying to do? He was the right person to take care of the boy and this stupid destiny seemed to enjoy it way too much.

The longer Jungkook thought about it the more willing he was to believe this strange encounter on the bridge was supposed to help Jungkook as well. That by taking care of Taehyung he could come to terms with his own past. There must have been something to it as JK was willing to share his story with the boy so quickly—something he was sure would never happen unless someone forced him to confess.

And yet, as he looked into Taehyung's sad eyes, he realized that he couldn't do this to him. He couldn't make this story about himself right now. He couldn’t impose like that. He couldn’t put another weight on his shoulder—Jungkook already knew how shitty a feeling it was to worry so much. It wasn’t his burden to bare nor his problem to solve.

For the first time that night, Jungkook saw some emotions on Taehyung’s face and much to his worry it was something close to sincere sadness. His eyes were a little more watery and worried, his lips were arched down and Taehyung quickly bit them down so they could not tremble under raging emotions. He gulped a little and all JK needed to complete this sad image was a quiet sniffle.

However, what made Jungkook worried was the fact that he knew all the sadness he saw in the boy’s eyes wasn’t there without a reason. It wasn’t about his recent or past problems; it wasn’t about this night and that weird state he got himself into; it wasn’t an overall depressive existential sadness. Taehyung was sad for him. And that was exactly what he wanted to avoid.

“But you also weren’t wrong about the other thing,” Jungkook added, making sure Taehyung understood him right. “I do feel fine now.”

Because he truly did. Compared to how he felt while leaving Atlanta, he was pretty much happy with what he had right now. Even if his body had been in an awful state lately thanks to Taehyung and everything that was happening around him, Jungkook’s mind was pretty stable and never carried him to places he didn’t want to be. The whole process of helping Taehyung showed him how strong he really was. And that was a huge success in Jungkook’s eyes. 

JK quickly raised his chin in a cheerful gesture. He forced a half-smile, part of which was genuine happiness and part of which was relief that he no longer felt so bad as he used to.

“As long as I’m far away from that memory box, I am fine. There are ups and downs in every story but I believe I did everything I could to be back on the right track. I’m… I’m glad you see me as an example, as someone who managed to overcome most of their demons so… Let it stay like that. I’m sorry that I tried to put it on you out of the blue. I shouldn’t have listened to that crazy woman. It wasn’t worth it.”

Jungkook felt like an apology was needed here. He should have known better than to trust the woman’s judgment. He knew how it could end, and yet he decided to follow her advice. JK regretted it a little but he couldn’t blame himself for trying to find a way to help the boy. Too bad that he accidentally might have made it worse. Ah, there was no good way out of it.

“Please don’t think about it any longer. I mean… don’t think about me in that way. You don’t need another burden in your life especially when I’m fine. This time for real.”

Even though he hated the word it seemed to be best fitting for the state he was in. No matter if it was used with his original intent or the one understood only by these two.

The point was to make Taehyung focus on himself; his problems, and his future. It was all still in his hands and he was the only one able to do something about it. And there was a way somewhere there to make the boy achieve it, so they could be fine together. In fact, Jungkook would give up half of his fine just to make Taehyung feel at least a little bit better.

“But you know what? You’ll be fine as well,” Jungkook said softly, nudging Taehyung with his shoulder. “Just trust the process and trust the people around you. Because even though I managed to overcome everything alone I really wish someone was there with me.”

Just as I am here for you, he thought but didn't dare to say it out loud.

Taehyung stared at him for a long time as if he was trying to understand the meaning behind these words. And not only the last ones but everything he heard from Jungkook that night. It was a lot to take in and with so much on his mind already it couldn’t be easy to put it all together.

His gaze was rather empty as he was trying to blink away some of the tears which again only stayed on his eyelashes, without falling down his cheeks. Jungkook was under the impression that as long as they were hanging there, Taehyung was holding on as well. The moment the first of them dared to stroll down his face, he would completely lose it—that one thing JK was sure of.

For the other thing, he couldn’t really tell. Taehyung probably had problems understanding that there was a bright future awaiting him as well. That there was a way to overcome whatever he was going through. However, in his case, putting everything into the box and throwing the key didn’t seem to be the solution he hoped for. Jungkook had a feeling it was a story one had to go through, no matter how hurtful it was. Hovering it around would only make it worse. And maybe that is what Taehyung had been doing for years. If the boy was about to feel better, it had to change.

But what Jungkook should say to make the boy finally change his approach? There were no good words when Taehyung seemed to be sunk so deeply in his despair. With his body curled into a small ball, his hands wrapped around his legs so tightly as if they were holding to their dear life, making the knuckles of his long fingers pale white. The boy once again buried his face into his knees and at this point, there was no way to reach him.

Nevertheless, Jungkook had to try. He couldn’t leave him like this without even trying to help the situation. Even if he would be talking nonsense or with the most obvious sentences of the world, maybe something would manage to reach the boy.

“When there is sorrow, despair, or hardship, there's also hope. Remember about it."

That was the only thing that came to his mind—a sentence he heard a long time ago from his favorite kindergarten teacher. It was one of these sayings that stuck to Jungkook the moment he heard it and helped him cope with some of his problems; the big and the small ones. Funny how it came as a piece of advice for a small, preschooler Jungkook, crying in the corner of the classroom, to be now said to Taehyung, a grown-up child having the most painful meltdown JK had ever seen.

But if it helped Jungkook back then, maybe it would help Taehyung now. Hope was exactly what the boy lacked or was unwilling to see in himself.

He knew that words alone might not help, so he gathered some courage and reached out to put his arm around the boy—in the very same way he did it on the floor of his apartment. He gently squeezed his arm on the other side and moved Taehyung slightly closer to him. It was a weird feeling since the boy had never felt so little before. They were the same height and yet Jungkook felt as if he was sitting next to someone half his size.

Jungkook didn't have siblings but at that moment he felt a bit like an older brother who had to calm down the younger one who had been woken up by the bad dream. To ease his mind a little and to make sure he would sleep peacefully that night, without any more nightmares tormenting him. JK wanted to give him some support and show that he was right next to him and he would not go anywhere else unless the boy asked him to.

So they were sitting like this for a little while until Taehyung suddenly spoke up, “But do we really have to be in despair for all of our hardships?” 

Taehyung said it so quietly that Jungkook almost didn’t catch his words. The boy was still curled up, so his voice got caught up somewhere close to his leg. He didn’t look up and it made it harder for JK to find the best possible answer. He thought for a while but decided there was only one way he could answer that.  

“I believe it's somehow inevitable,” he admitted, but added more joyfully just a second later, “But it always gets better in the end. You will get better. This I promise you.”

Hearing this promise, Taehyung finally looked up. Only then did JK understand why he didn't want to do it before. His eyes became wet again and this time the very first traitorous tear strolled down his cheek. So when Jungkook smiled at him gently, partly endeared by this image, Taehyung couldn't help it and closed his eyes, letting the rest of the tears fall.

He buried his face in his hands, and as soon as he did it, Jungkook pulled him closer and hugged him tightly. The boy didn’t resist and quickly rested his head on his chest, allowing JK to embrace him. Jungkook gently stroked Taehyung's shoulder, then moved him close enough to hide his head just under his own. He put his chin on the top of the boy's head, feeling the soft dark curls on his lips and nose. They still smelled like a calm ocean breeze, though nothing about Taehyung was calm right now. That is why he continued to squeeze him gently every time he heard him sob.

Jungkook had a feeling that neither of them would be able to fall asleep tonight. And it wasn’t even raining outside.

Chapter Text

There was something odd about the place Jungkook woke up at. The pillow smelled like freshly picked roses, the same for the silky sheets he was covered with. JK was puzzled for a while because the sheets he usually woke up in weren’t so soft and had a questionable smell (though he really tried to wash them regularly). Overall this bed had quite a unique aura. Jungkook wasn’t a fan of early wake-ups and could sleep in for a whole day but still, he felt some magnetic magical force chaining him to this particular place forever.

And only then did he realize that he had fallen asleep in Taehyung’s bed.

He panicked a little as he couldn’t remember how did it happen. It took him a while to recall the events from last night and then it hit him: it was all about the late-night conversation they had. The topic wasn’t easy just like the whole process of calming Taehyung down once he finally cried out. Jungkook could still feel the boy in his arms but he clearly wasn’t there anymore. When he moved a little in a velvety sheets he could easily tell he was the only one in bed.

But how did it happen? When did he doze off? He was more than sure he would not fall asleep as long as Taehyung was snuggled into his chest and making his gray T-shirt quite wet. Yet in the blink of an eye, it was another morning and the boy was no longer by his side.

Jungkook tried to hide a burning blush on his cheeks as he felt embarrassed to wake up here. It was just an accident and yet he cared about it more than he should. There was nothing wrong with two friends sharing a bed for one night. Besides, it was nothing new for them as it had already happened once, back at JK’s apartment.

Somehow today Jungkook got a slightly different feeling and he couldn’t exactly tell why.

He took a deep breath to calm down a little and quickly looked around the room to initially assess what was happening around him. The clock above the desk showed a quarter to seven. He had to get up soon if he wanted to get to school on time for his first classes. He assumed that was why Taehyung was already on his feet. He bet the boy was just getting ready for another day as a school’s idol. 

JK wanted to sigh in exasperation but stopped himself the moment he realized he wasn't alone in the room. He heard the metallic sound of hangers moving in the closet which made him subconsciously look in that direction. As expected, it was Taehyung who rummaged through his clothes and carefully reached for one of the shirts to the left. The choice was rather subdued; nothing flashy or too colorful, like the sunflower shirt from yesterday. It was a plain one, in beige and pastel colors with only a few small decorations around the buttons and cuffs.

There was only one problem which wasn’t really connected with the boy’s choice—his fashion sense was never a miss. The thing was while making his choice, Taehyung wore nothing from his waist up.

Jungkook couldn’t help but stare at his back. The boy didn’t have a muscular build but JK could see all the muscles of his right arm working together as the boy raised his hand to grab the hanger. Something was fascinating in this motion as his shoulder became a little more tense making his protruding shoulder blades even more exposed. And the skin—it seemed to be glowing. It was so velvety, so delicate and boyish; like it hadn’t been touched before.

Gosh, his innocence was so attractive. Almost as attractive as the whole shirt-dressing ritual he experienced a moment later. 

Taehyung slowly slipped his hands into both sleeves, adjusted the material on his shoulders, and turned up his collar. He made sure that his golden necklace didn’t get tangled with the other one and fit together with the shirt—only then did he start buttoning it up. His long fingers took care of each of the buttons, handling them carefully without a rush. Everything had to be done with the utmost dignity; as if he was a member of a royal family preparing for the tea with the Queen. And it was only a Thursday morning in the boring suburbs of Austin.

He finished with the buttons, leaving the upper two unbuttoned (as always), and Jungkook was glad that he did it all standing only half turned to his side. If he could see the boy from up front he would certainly focus only on his chest—that JK was sure of. He could remember how the wet shirt stuck to his body when Taehyung stood in his living room. Thank God Jungkook stopped him from undressing just in time; it wasn’t the best moment to let his fantasies run free. But now? Now…

What the hell are you doing? he thought as he finally came to his senses. You’re watching him getting dressed like some creep!

Jungkook felt a little uncomfortable when he realized what he had been doing for a while. It felt wrong, illegal even, to be lying in the boy’s bed and just stare at him; stare at his body. He should have given him some privacy and looked away but… How could he look away from such a masterpiece?

Taehyung started straightening his cuffs, making sure they were buttoned properly and went on with carefully tucking the end of his shirt into his perfectly ironed pants. Only when Taehyung adjusted his belt did Jungkook notice how small of a waist the boy had. It could easily fit in JK’s arms if only…

Shut up! he managed to scold himself the moment his imagination went absolutely wild. And at one point he wasn’t sure if he did it verbally or not. As the quietest of sounds could raise Taehyung’s suspicion and make him turn to his side to see JK staring, he had to act quickly before he would get caught red-handed. 

He immediately closed his eyes and lay down, pretending to be asleep. His eyelids burned as he tried to ignore this weird feeling he got in the lower part of his stomach. He just focused on his racing heart which was beating unevenly thanks to the adrenaline kick. Fortunately, he managed to calm it down a little, same for his breathing; all enough to make it look like he was actually asleep. 

In the meantime, he listened to what was happening in the room to make sure Taehyung hadn’t noticed his weird behavior. However, it was quite a difficult task when the boy moved so damn quietly. All the time he acted like a ghost and this morning wasn’t an exception. The room was completely silent and the only thing Jungkook could hear was blood flushing in his ears.

JK was more anxious than nervous as he couldn’t shake the feeling that somebody was watching him. He felt the boy's gaze on him and his sixth sense once again was right. A moment later, he felt Taehyung's hand on his shoulder, gently nudging him to wake up.

“Jungkook.”

He heard his name said in that incredibly low and velvety voice and he had to try really hard not to blow his cover. Of course, he couldn't respond to the first call—that was the golden rule of pretending to be asleep. Besides, he wanted to hear his name on the boy’s lips once again.

“Hey, Jungkook,” Taehyung tried once more and nudged him harder.

And if the boy believed he was truly asleep then it was a good sign—he hadn’t noticed him staring. Jungkook felt relieved and decided to reward Taehyung for not being too observant when it mattered the most. He couldn’t pretend to be asleep forever, so he finally opened his eyes just a little. It looked as if he was trying to get used to the bright light and his eyes were still sleepy. None of it was true but it was necessary to keep his cover alive.

Taehyung was leaning just above him and Jungkook couldn’t help but notice how fine he looked from up close. Of course, when he stared at him stealthily just a second ago, he could easily tell he was ready to be a walking perfection again, but seeing him towering above him was quite a different experience. He looked so… ideal. Just as if he had the best sleep of his life and expected an even better day to come.

His cheeks were slightly pink and had a lively color; none of the tear marks from yesterday were there. His dark waves were already gelled back with one rebellious strand falling on his exposed forehead. It was hard to believe it was the same fluffy hair JK buried his face in just yesterday. His long eyelashes were oddly dry as the last thing Jungkook remembered about them was how many tears they were holding until Taehyung finally cried out.

How did Taehyung manage to look so perfect in the morning when at night he was such a mess? Once again he looked as if nothing had happened. As if his breakdown was only a bad dream Jungkook had that night. That was impossible even if the boy had years of experience in pretending and creating that damn fake persona. Was there a certain routine he followed to become a walking perfection each morning? A certain ritual his body and mind got used to? How did it work?

Jungkook decided it must have been magic and at one point he was eager to believe it. Because as Taehyung leaned over, his golden necklace fell out of his collar and swung slowly back and forth, reflecting the morning sun rays. Jungkook got so caught up in its movement just as if the boy tried to hypnotize him. And JK didn’t know what was the charm: the necklace or Taehyung’s beauty.

“You have to get up if we don't want to be late to school,” the boy added while squeezing lightly on his shoulder.

Jungkook quickly focused back on the boy, then swallowed slowly and forced himself to look over his shoulder at the clock above the desk. He knew what time it was, but he had to act natural. But most importantly he desperately needed to look at something else other than Taehyung’s perfect face. He was more than sure that a few more seconds of staring at the boy would kill him.

“Yeah,” he murmured finally. “I'm up.”

He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, then pushed himself up into a sitting position. Taehyung did the same. He straightened up and grabbed his hips.

“Good. Your shirt is on the chair. It was already dry so I just ironed it.”

It took Jungkook a moment to understand these words. Not because he was still sleepy and his brain wasn’t functioning properly but because the information itself was simply absurd.

“You did what?”

“I ironed it.”

“Why?” JK had to ask as he couldn’t remember when was the last time he used an iron. He wasn’t sure if he had one in his apartment. 

“Because it was crumpled,” Taehyung answered as it was the most obvious answer in the world. Well in some way it was. Jungkook knew the purpose of ironing, still, he would use it only for some formal occasions, not for… school.

“It's a T-shirt. You don't have to iron it.”

“You do. It makes you look more elegant and less… homeless.”

“Do I look like I care about being elegant?”

It was a rather rhetorical question because JK rarely cared that much about his appearance. He just put on a random clean T-shirt, made sure his hair was at least presentable and was ready to go. A complete opposite of the always-prepared straight-out-of-the-catwalk Taehyung.

And even if Jungkook didn’t expect an answer, he kind of got one. Taehyung looked at him carefully, maybe a little too intensively for JK’s liking, and tried to assess whether the boy cared about the mentioned elegance. However, Jungkook was sure that he was miles away from being elegant at this moment.

He could bet his hair had a life of its own, spreading across all the directions. He could feel his bangs falling on his eyes which meant the hair on the back of his head was probably standing up like the guarding soldier. With the dark marks under his eyes, he must have looked like a fucking sleepless rooster.

There was nothing attractive or intriguing in his look so Jungkook was quite surprised the boy stared at him for so long. It was a bit like they hadn't seen each other for half a year, and even after three years of separation, Jimin didn't look at him the same way. Jungkook didn't understand what it all meant, but before he could do something about it, Taehyung shook his head vigorously.

“Anyway. See you downstairs. Coffee is ready.”

Taehyung waved his hand, took his brown bag from the chair, and casually walked out of the room. As expected, JK didn't even hear him coming down the stairs.

Jungkook stared at the place where the boy stood just a moment ago for a little longer before he threw himself back onto the bed. It all felt like one big crazy dream. Because in what reality would he spend the night in the boy’s bed and be woken up by Taehyung himself. It already was quite impossible. And yet there was still so much waiting for him: his cleaned, somehow saved, and carefully ironed T-shirt, a cup of coffee downstairs, and who knows what else Taehyung got in mind.

Are we a married couple or what? Jungkook asked himself as he didn’t understand why he got such treatment. He didn’t feel he deserved it at all.

Whatever it was, he managed to put those thoughts somewhere behind him and finally found some strength to get out of bed. He took a few calming breaths as he ran his hand through his hair. He was already so tired and there was a whole ass day ahead of him. Ridiculous.

Jungkook found his T-shirt hanging on the chair. He couldn’t believe it but the material was whiter than ever and less crumpled than the moment he bought it. It didn’t even look brand new. It looked as if it was crafted right here right now and Taehyung just spent the whole night sewing it. JK had no clue how the boy managed to do it and was equally surprised that he took this matter so seriously. It was just a T-shirt. There was no need for Taehyung to get up earlier just to iron it. He needed sleep, not a time for household chores.  

He felt bad about it but there was nothing he could do right now. So he sighed rather helplessly and took off Taehyung’s shirt and replaced it with his own, cleaned one. The fabric smelled of rose fabric softener, the same as the bedding he woke up in. But there was another scent, the one Jungkook was also familiar with: Taehyung’s perfume. There was something addictive in this calming sea breeze combined with a more masculine scent. Jungkook couldn’t guess which perfume brand the boy was using but he was obsessed with them. Especially now, when its scent lingered timidly in the room.

JK shook his head and finished changing back to his clothes. He left the borrowed ones neatly folded on the edge of the bed, similar to what Taehyung did back in his place. Then he hopped into the upstairs bathroom to wash his face a try to make something about his hair. He wet the ends a little and combed them back slightly, but he knew that in an hour or even less, it would all fall back on his forehead. And Jungkook absolutely hated it—with straight bangs he looked like a kid.

He sighed resignedly and winced when he saw his reflection in the mirror. It wasn’t that bad but it wasn’t good either. However, the biggest problem seemed to be his tattoo. He couldn’t hide it underneath some clothing since he had nothing long-sleeved with him and it was too late to come back home. For a second JK thought of asking Taehyung for some spare T-shirt but he quickly abandoned that idea. He couldn’t show up at school wearing his clothes. That would be scandalous.

So in the end he prepared himself mentally for another detention. There was no way the math teacher would spare him and not give him a yellow note—the man enjoyed it way too much. Ugh. School policy sucked.  

He finally went downstairs and immediately rushed to the kitchen. He was guided by the delicious smell of coffee and he hoped that this time he would be able to drink one. He wasn’t in the mood for another cleaning session with coffee spilled everywhere on the floor and his clothes. This time he needed the liquid waking-up serum, preferably injected directly into his veins, as he felt like falling asleep at any given moment.  

On the contrary, Taehyung seemed to be pretty much awake. He sat quietly by the kitchen island with a cup of what smelled like lemon tea. In one hand he held a half-eaten sandwich and at the same time, he skipped through the pages of some textbook with another. How he managed to think about studying at this moment was beyond Jungkook’s imagination.

“Gosh, can you stop with the school stuff? Nobody should be studying at this hour. That's crazy.”

JK said it at loud as the boy’s behavior was just strange, to say the least. No sane person would focus on school the morning after such a difficult day. Overall seeing the boy so caught up with studying while there had been so much going on around him was quite odd. Maybe it was his way of coping? To keep himself busy and focused on the topics completely unrelated to his problems. Knowing how good the boy was at pretending and separating the two personas living in his body, such a technique could have been a way for him.

However, a certain calmness or maybe indifference in his actions made JK alarmed. Even if the boy was quite a weird specimen his behavior didn’t seem… right. Something was wrong but Jungkook couldn’t really tell what.

Therefore, he carefully took a seat opposite the boy, watching him closely. Finding that one odd thing wasn’t an easy task when Taehyung didn’t even look up; not for a second—he was still focused on his book. Jungkook would have thought that he was ignoring him once again if it wasn’t for the boy who slowly pushed a white mug filled with coffee toward him.

He did not comment on Jungkook’s remark, although the loud flip through one of the pages of the textbook spoke for itself. Jungkook didn’t know how to interpret it so he decided to let it go. There had to be a way to get to the boy so he went with a friendly and quite neutral conversation starter.

“So when did you wake up?” JK asked as he was genuinely curious about the answer. Besides, he had a hunch Taehyung didn’t sleep for long even though his appearance suggested otherwise. And that was quite concerning. Especially, when the boy finally looked up and shrugged indifferently.

“I don’t know. Around five?”  

“Five?” JK was quite surprised. “Have you slept at all?”

“I had some sleep.”

“Some doesn't sound like a lot.”

Jungkook just knew it wasn’t enough time to get a proper sleep. He visited the boy’s room around one o’clock and they sat there for some time until Taehyung calmed down and stopped crying. JK didn’t remember the moment he fell asleep so it was hard to tell at what time it had happened. Nevertheless, it was quite late already.  

The thing JK managed to somehow fall asleep didn’t mean Taehyung did the same. What if he left Jungkook in his bed and went downstairs? Maybe he didn’t sleep at all doing… whatever he was doing at night. Maybe he lied again saying he had some sleep? Aish, Jungkook hoped Taehyung did lay beside him all night. No matter how awkward it was to think about them two falling asleep cuddled together. The boy deserved some sleep.

But when Jungkook looked at Taehyung just now, he didn’t seem to care at all. All he could focus on was that damn textbook. Just as if he was trying to ignore him and the whole questioning about what had happened at night. Again, such behavior didn’t sit right with Jungkook who decided to dig a little deeper. And this time he wanted to know something more.

“How do you do it? How can you look and seem so fine every other day at school?” he started with a question that had been living rent-free on his head for quite a long time. “Without a sight of weariness? Without something that indicates you have been crying a whole night? Without a healthy amount of sleep? How… how is that possible?”

No matter how long Jungkook had been thinking about it he still couldn’t understand it.

“I saw you at nights, I saw how you behave during rain and… I see you right now. It feels like… like I’ve been talking to two different people. I don’t understand it.”

Because it felt just like that. Jungkook either talked to Mr. Perfection he saw so often at school and basically everywhere in public or to the quiet and vulnerable side of the boy, available only during nights and heavy rains. Jungkook felt lucky to even witness the other side of the boy, the one he saw at night. And he wanted to understand where the drastic change came from. Why did Taehyung care so much about his perfect alter ego and why was it even created?

If it wasn’t for the topic being that important and impactful on Taehyung’s future, Jungkook would have even admired him for managing to separate the two people living inside him so perfectly. That he barely confused both roles and never let the other him speak at moments when he shouldn’t. It probably took some time to master being that good of an actor. Maybe he should have gone for that career option instead of designing.

Taehyung hovered over the textbook for a moment. He seemed to be focused on reading but JK just knew he was only mindlessly staring at the text while his thoughts were elsewhere. For a second, Jungkook even thought he was about to get an honest answer but that thought disappeared in the instant Taehyung sighed in disbelief.

“Ah, don't worry about that. It won't last much longer.”

Jungkook froze motionless, completely paralyzed by the words he heard. He hoped Taehyung didn’t mean what Jungkook thought he meant. It must have been an unfortunate word choice because he couldn’t believe that after everything they had been through, Taehyung still thought about that solution. Not when there was that one condition under which Jungkook agreed to help him.  

Fortunately, Taehyung immediately realized what he had said, or rather how his words might have been perceived, and quickly came to his senses—Jungkook was more than sure that becoming almost pale helped him a lot. The boy started waving his hands and shaking his head vigorously.

“Oh, no. It's not what I meant," he clarified, and only after that JK's heart started beating again. “Just… I think you should get used to this side of me. Soon it'll be the only one you will see.”

He gestured at himself, but JK already knew he must have been referring to the perfect side of him—it was the one he had been presenting since the very morning. But why did the boy suddenly mention it? Why was he behaving like that?

Jungkook frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

“Just… I think I should stick to that side of me.”

“You mean the fake side of you?”

“No, I mean the perfect side of me,” Taehyung corrected him immediately.

As if there was a difference, Jungkook thought but managed to bite his tongue in time. There was no point in arguing with the boy now. However, he felt it was what they were about to do anyway.

Taehyung must have been aware that the walking perfection side of him was just a fake persona—he couldn’t have believed he was actually perfect. That would be ridiculous.

So why did he suddenly want to stick to that side of him? Wasn’t the whole purpose of helping the boy to make him feel better about himself? To make him accept who he really was without a need to hide behind the mask of a walking perfection? To just be Kim Taehyung the way Jungkook saw him during the nights.

Wasn’t he tired of pretending? Maintaining such an image was already so hard and no one would be able to act like this for so long. Besides, there was no way he could be even more perfect than he already made himself be. So what was the point of it? Why did he still want to choose the walking perfection persona over his true self? Or more why Taehyung didn’t want to be himself anymore?

“Okay but… why?” Jungkook asked because no matter how hard he thought about it there was no logical reason for what the boy wanted to do.

JK got anxious waiting for an answer as it wasn’t an easy topic. He was afraid it was one of those important conversations; not only because they were talking in the kitchen—ironically most of them happened exactly here. He just had a hunch it would not end up well. And he was quite weary of his hunches.

Jungkook squirmed a little in his chair as it suddenly wasn’t as comfortable to sit on it. But when he looked at Taehyung, the boy didn’t seem to be bothered by a similar problem. He once again avoided JK’s gaze and fixed it on his textbook, just as if Jungkook’s question had never existed. He tried to run away from it or maybe ignore inquiring Jungkook but JK couldn’t let him go easily.

“Taehyung? I asked you a question. Just… why?”

Jungkook reminded him firmly when he got tired of waiting. He just wanted to know why they even had this conversation and why the boy still effectively ignored his gaze. Taehyung wasn’t fooling anyone acting all interested in his textbook—it only made Jungkook mad. So much so that he was sure if the boy would continue staring at one of the colorful pages instead of having an honest conversation with him, JK would throw this book out of the window.

It took him a while but Taehyung finally took a deep breath and exhaled rather defeated. It sounded as if by answering he was making JK a huge favor.

“Well, that’s… that's for the best,” said the boy so quietly that Jungkook almost didn’t catch his words. But when he did hear them correctly he couldn’t believe his ears.

“The best?! Says who?”

“Says me. So please respect my decision.”

This time Taehyung was louder and sounded more confident than before. It seemed like he had already made the decision and wasn’t overly interested in changing his mind. And that was quite alarming, knowing what he wanted to do. Jungkook had to get that idea out of his head as quickly as possible.  

“Come on, we both know it's a stupid ass decision.”

“It is not and—”

“Taehyung.”

“What? It is not stupid. Besides, that’s the only way now.”

“The only way?” Jungkook repeated even more confused. “There's always a different way. I've already told you that—"

“There was one more. But it is no longer available.”

Only then did Taehyung look up from the textbook and glared at Jungkook. Suddenly he stopped being shy or secretive and became pretty much angry. Just as if he tried to remind JK why this one option was no longer available. That it was Jungkook’s fault.

But Jungkook didn’t need such a reminder—he knew perfectly well what was that one way Taehyung referred to. He was surprised that the boy suddenly mentioned it. He thought they were already over this topic and why what Taehyung wanted to do on the bridge should have never been a solution. They had it already figured out. So why coming back to it just now?

“Okay. What is this about, huh? You acted differently yesterday. What has changed?”

Jungkook just knew there must have been something that triggered that sudden change in Taehyung. Just a week ago the boy openly admitted that he needed help. He asked Jungkook to help him and he even booked the therapist’s appointment by himself; an appointment he willingly agreed to go to. Well, it had quite a questionable outcome but still, JK could tell something had changed inside the boy. He even promised to tell him the story.  

So why was Jungkook facing someone completely different right now?  

“Is it because of that visit? Did she tell you something?”

Jungkook tried to find the answer as the boy went silent once again. It must have been something about yesterday’s visit. Maybe Taehyung didn’t tell him everything about that meeting? Okay, he could sit silently for a whole hour but maybe a woman tried to get to him with some words that made it even harder to open up. Or maybe it was because she tried to use Jungkook to help him?

“It's not about her,” Taehyung answered but Jungkook didn’t really believe his words.  

“I know her ways were odd but we can find someone else, you know that right?”

“It’s not about her.”

Taehyung repeated, emphasizing the last word. And when Jungkook tried to understand why the boy tried to deceive him again, it finally struck him. It might have not been the therapist’s fault even though Jungkook was so sure about it just a second ago. There was one more person in this equation.

“Have… have I done something wrong?”

Jungkook barely managed to stop his voice from breaking. It was hard to believe but… maybe he was a problem here.

It could have been something about his story; a part of it he decided to share or not share with the boy. Maybe he was too open? Maybe that was not what the boy needed at that moment? But if Taehyung admired him so much and treated him as living proof that there was a way out of his problems then… why he became so defensive right now? Ah, it didn’t make sense.

Jungkook just hoped it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know what he had done wrong but he surely wouldn’t forgive himself if he was the reason for Taehyung refusing his help.  

And just as he thought about it, Taehyung suddenly looked up. Their eyes met and from the very first moment, Jungkook could see something inside them that wasn’t there before. Just as if mentioning himself made the boy aware of some feeling or a thought that was hidden somewhere deep inside him. It was a genuine reaction; so different from all these fake images he saw today.

“N-no,” Taehyung stuttered a little, “It's not about you either.”

Even if he said it out loud there was something in his voice that worried Jungkook a little. He hoped the boy didn’t lie to him just now. That would hurt him more than hearing the devastating truth.

“If it’s not about her nor me… then what is it?” Jungkook managed to swallow an awful limp in his throat and ask the most important question, hoping this time he’d finally get an honest answer.

“It’s…nothing really.”

“Nothing?! Don’t bullshit me here.”

“I’m not bullshitting you. I just decided I'm fine with—”

“But you’re clearly not fine.”

“How can you know what I feel, huh?”

“I’m not blind, Taehyung. And I’m not stupid enough for you to gaslight me into believing you’re okay with whatever is going on in your head. Should I remind you who cried his eyes out in my T-shirt last night?”

Taehyung held his gaze for a little bit longer until he shyly looked down. JK could see him gulping slightly but he tried to hide it by quickly clenching his jaw. But what did he want to hide so much? He knew that these stupid games would not work on Jungkook. No matter how perfectly Taehyung wanted to act right now, JK would not get fooled. So what was the point of pretending?

Jungkook wanted to talk to the real Taehyung, not the fake image he had shown him since morning. That is why he got furious the moment the boy averted his gaze and focused on his textbook. He tried to ignore him once again and that was the last straw for Jungkook.

He immediately leaned over the counter, closed the textbook, then grabbed it by the cover and threw it over his shoulder. The book fell on the floor with a loud thud somewhere behind him, but he didn't care about it any longer. What mattered, however, was Taehyung's look of utmost disgust and irritation. At this point, JK was sure he was talking to the right version of the boy.

“No matter how hard you try you won't be perfect. So whoever you're trying to be, stop it," JK said firmly, hoping that this time the boy would listen to him. “I don't know why you want to stick to this image but it's not worth it. Please, don't let go of the real you just because of some bullshit belief.”

Jungkook decided to be more aggressive than before because he was in no mood for mindless banter. He tried to get to the boy in many ways but it seemed like none of them worked. No matter what Jungkook did, the outcome was still the same.

At least this time he talked to the real Taehyung as the boy kept glaring at him. JK much more preferred the boy behaving like this than pretending he was this stoic and perfect creature. Seeing anger on his face made Taehyung more authentic. Overall, seeing him showing any honest emotions felt like a reward. It meant he finally stopped holding himself back and that was exactly the state Jungkook wanted to see him in.

“Look at you.” Jungkook pointed at Taehyung, making sure he understood why he even did that. “That’s the real you. That’s the person we were fighting for in the past weeks. I don’t care about this perfect dude you’re trying to be because… I like this side of you.”

And Jungkook truly did like him.

He liked the boy’s personality even though it was barely visible. He liked his witty comebacks and sarcastic comments as there weren’t many people brave enough to talk back at Jungkook. He liked the casual way he spoke about basketball each time they watched it together sitting on the couch in the living room. He liked his childish-like behavior when he turned into a confused toddler from time to time. He liked his adorable way of being confused which always came with that weird expression on his face. He liked the passion with which he spoke about things important to him. He even liked the way he stuck to all the rules he set for himself, even though some of them were quite questionable.

Jungkook was more than sure he would like the happy side of the boy. When Taehyung would be free of all that was tormenting him and stopping him from enjoying his life. He would like his bright smile—the bread cheeks rising from happiness followed by a quiet giggle as he did something goofy. Gosh, Jungkook could already tell a smiling Taehyung would be so likable and twice as beautiful.

Funny how at the beginning of their relationship Jungkook couldn’t see himself liking someone like Taehyung. And not only his walking perfection image; just the boy overall. Since that conversation on the rooftop during the party, Jungkook saw him only as an attention seeker pretty boy who somehow managed to fool the whole school just because he wanted to be popular. And even when it turned out it was Taehyung whom he had saved at the bridge, JK was still reluctant to believe it would change something in his attitude toward the boy.

Yet now Jungkook knew the person sitting in front of him was the most complex individuality he had ever met and somehow he liked him. The question remained if Taehyung liked him back enough to stop playing these weird games and finally be honest with him.

“You don't know what you are talking about,” Taehyung blurted and waved his hand dismissively, refusing to accept Jungkook’s confession.

But JK wasn’t about to give up so easily. The fact that nobody had ever liked that side of the boy didn’t mean it wasn’t possible. Maybe Taehyung wasn’t prepared for such a confession, maybe he didn’t believe anyone would ever say it to him. Whatever it was Jungkook would not get back his words. Especially not now when they could be decisive on the future of Taehyung’s personality.

“I do know what I’m talking about. I like you,” Jungkook repeated softly, hoping it was a way to finally make the boy believe in his words. And if this wasn’t enough, he added, “We agreed that if I can like that side of you, you can like yourself as well. Don’t you remember that?”

JK decided to remind him of a fragment of the conversation they had during the blackout at his apartment when one of the lightning bolts rather tactlessly interrupted their argument. It was when Taehyung said nobody, not even him, should and could like this side of him. Yet Jungkook had to check it himself and as it turned out it was possible to like Taehyung—the real Taehyung.

The boy looked at him carefully as he was trying to recall the events of that night. It was tense back then as their argument wasn’t the most pleasurable one. At least some of the words said there helped them understand the situation they got themselves into. The emotions were high, no wonder Taehyung remembered them all, as he slowly nodded. It was a good sign. Jungkook hoped it would change the boy’s attitude toward this conversation. In the end, Jungkook just had proven him wrong.

“I remember,” Taehyung muttered indifferently. “Still, I did not agree on anything.”

That was not the answer he expected to hear. But before he could protest, the boy already got his answer prepared. And he wasn’t about to spare his words.

"But—"

“Listen, I don't know what got to your head. Maybe it's because we spent so much time together so you got used to me. Maybe I cry too much and most people tend to feel pity toward such crybabies. Maybe it's because you ended up being that involuntarily involved one as you like to call it. Or maybe you feel partially attracted to what you see as everyone in my presence. Choose whatever you want but for sure you don't like me.”

Taehyung was not gentle at all as each sentence was said with more and more spite and irritation. However, all the arguments presented by the boy were so well thought-through that Jungkook was more than sure Taehyung prepared for this conversation beforehand. Just as if he was expecting this topic to pop up one day and he had to be ready to turn Jungkook down.

It only concerned Jungkook even more. Because why was he so dismissive? Why he tried to make Jungkook believe he didn’t like him? Why he was so afraid of that word? There was nothing wrong with the two of them liking each other, right?

“Why are you like that?” Jungkook asked softly even though he was raging inside. “Why are you closing on me? Why right now?”

Because that was exactly what the boy was doing. Taehyung wanted to close not only on him but also on the whole world. And even if the latter one was much more dangerous for Taehyung’s well-being and his future, it was the former one that hurt Jungkook more. Because even though the boy wasn’t completely honest with him at all times, he didn’t refuse his help. But what Taehyung wanted to do just now was to destroy even that innocent relationship they had; the only relationship his true self really had.

So as Jungkook was the closest person Taehyung had, this betrayal felt personal. Jungkook truly believed they could have been friends, that they already were friends. That Taehyung liked him back. He already trusted JK so what had happened for the boy to change his mind?

Even if Taehyung said it wasn’t Jungkook’s fault, he might as well have been lying. And judging by his current behavior JK was more and more eager to believe it truly was his fault. It had to be about one of their conversations from yesterday and Jungkook’s story—the one kept to himself in the end. Taehyung seemed to be so sure that he didn't want to hear it; his words were so mature, the complete opposite of his bullshit arguments just now.

But maybe he was also pretending back then? Maybe he felt uncomfortable with such a confession? If this was the reason, JK swore to himself that he would go back to the therapist’s office and strangle the woman who suggested that solution.

Fortunately, he managed to tame his raging anger and focus on the boy’s reaction instead. Taehyung shook his head uncertainly, but his expression was rather firm. His mouth was pursed and his arms were crossed, and for a moment he looked as scary as that damn mathematician. But something in his blank gaze suggested that it couldn't have been easy for him either. He tried to clear his mind enough so his eyes wouldn’t show any emotion and potentially betray what was really going on inside his head. Only when he thought he managed to do that, did he finally look up.  

“I just have to stop this before you get stupidly attached. Before we both do. And I can let you do that.”

He said it so casually yet with some kind of resentment that Jungkook had to frown. He had no clue what was hidden behind these words and he desperately needed to know it.

“Attached?”

“Yes, attached. You know what it means.”

“Not really.” Jungkook shook his head as the word could have a lot of different meanings, especially when they had already changed one ordinary word into a painful trigger. “You think of friendship as an attachment?”

That was the most logical reasoning to his previous words but Taehyung looked like he didn’t want to explain what that word really meant to him. And Jungkook wanted to know his definition so badly. What was an attachment for a person who spent most of his life alone? And why he didn’t want to get attached to anybody.

Jungkook knew something about attachments though he wasn’t overly good with them. Spending half of his life moving from one city to another taught him not to get easily attached, so he barely did. The very first person Jungkook got attached to was Jimin and he learned how painful it was when he had to move to Atlanta. The sentimental part was the worst thing about attachments and fortunately, it wasn’t the case in his relationship with Taehyung.

“What's wrong with it?”

“I told you, I don't want people to know me.”

“Don't you think it's a little too late for us for that?”

If after everything that had happened since the events on the bridge, Taehyung still thought that they were complete strangers to each other, he was sorely mistaken. They were already attached, no matter if Taehyung liked it or not. Maybe it wasn’t a usual way to get attached but Jungkook knew he would not give up on the boy so easily. And if thinking about Taehyung day and night wasn’t proof of their bond then Jungkook didn’t know what it was anymore.

However, Jungkook couldn’t be sure of anything since all Taehyung had done this morning was speaking nonsense and finding some cheap excuses for his behavior. The attachment problem seemed to be another one; another way to discourage Jungkook from staying by his side for a little longer.

JK was lowkey curious about what would be the next excuse, what else would the boy come up with to distance himself. On the other hand, he was so fed up with all these mind games and just wanted to know the truth here and now. That is why he once again leaned over the counter and looked Taehyung dead in the eye. He wanted to get his message straight.

“I don’t know why are you doing this right now, why are you trying to get rid of me… but I won’t give up so easily, you know that.”

It meant that whatever bullshit Taehyung would throw at him, he would still be sitting on the opposite side of the kitchen island, waiting for the boy to stop pretending. Jungkook was one of the most stubborn people to ever exist and there was hardly anyone able to change his mind. If somehow Taehyung managed to do it, he would be truly special.

Maybe it was kind of inappropriate to push so much when the boy clearly refused his help but in this case, backing up was not an option. Not when Taehyung’s life was at stake here.

And yet Taehyung was still stupid enough to try and convince him otherwise.

“No, no, no. This… this time you really should leave me be,” he said firmly as he was frustrated with Jungkook’s insistence.

“Then give me a good reason to do so. Just one.”

Jungkook locked his expectant gaze on the boy awaiting the answer. That was Taehyung’s only chance to convince him he truly didn’t need him. He gave him that one last chance to explain himself and JK hoped the boy would not waste it for another bullshit reason. Maybe this time there was a valid reason—the one Taehyung didn’t want to say up till now.

On the other hand, he just knew there was no such reason. That is why he got angry at the instant when Taehyung started with the same narrative he had back at the stairs.

“Because you’ll only get hurt—"

“God damn you, I’m already hurt!”

Jungkook shouted as he couldn’t take it anymore. He quickly stood up and slapped the counter with his hand. If JK was holding back until now, he had no intention of doing so any longer. He had had enough bullshit for one morning.

“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t go through the day not thinking about you and how you feel. It hurts me to see you suffer like that and I’m trying everything to help you. To get you out of this misery. To make you feel better about yourself so you can get your happy ending. And it very much hurts me that you keep refusing that help.”

Jungkook remembered how badly Taehyung was concerned about him getting hurt while telling his story but apparently, the boy forgot he had already been hurt. With those little ordinalities and small things that could have been changed if only Taehyung wasn’t so stubborn. And it wasn’t only about Jungkook’s hurting body which was too stressed and tired to function properly. It was also about his heart which was aching painfully each time the boy took a step in the wrong direction.

“Can’t you see that we will both keep getting hurt if you don’t change something?”

JK hoped this one sentence would finally make Taehyung understand that if he truly didn’t want to be hurt or hurt Jungkook back, he had to act. Preferably here and now. The longer he kept sinking into his despair and that fake perfect persona, the worse it was for both of them. There wasn’t an easier and more direct way to say it.

Taehyung froze for a second and with each following word he became more and more pale. To the extent that his beautiful honey-like skin completely lost its tone. Same for his lips which became dangerously purple and unnaturally dry; just as if he was standing in the freezing rain for at least half an hour.

His hands began to tremble as he grabbed the counter. It looked like he was trying to stay on his feet and not fall onto the ground. Even Jungkook had a feeling he was about to faint at any given moment. JK didn’t expect such an emotional reaction and he couldn’t really tell what was the reason for it. He only managed to catch Taehyung’s gaze just a second before he quickly looked down. And what he saw in his beautiful black eyes was once again something akin to terror.

Jungkook got worried when the boy leaned over the counter and put his elbows on the top just to bury his head in his hands a moment later. His long fingers got tangled in his perfectly styled hair completely ruining it but the boy didn’t seem to care. The hold on his dark waves was so strong that JK once again saw his knuckles getting white. At the same time, he covered his ears so as not to let any noise get into them right now and closed his eyes so tightly that they created tiny wrinkles all around his face.

It looked like he tried to get something out of his head or as if he was in physical pain. Jungkook didn’t really know what to do about it as it was the first time he saw Taehyung acting like that. JK was not a medical expert but it might have been something close to a panic attack. That would explain the boy's meltdown and why his body tried to betray him.

Jungkook was confused as he didn’t know if he should do anything about it. He could only stare at that painful image, trying to come up with some plan. But what should he do or say right now? All he could do was to make it worse by accident.

“Ah,” Taehyung grunted. “You’re not making it easy, Jungkook.”

His voice was weak and harsh as it barely escaped his mouth. Jungkook decided if the boy was able to speak then his state wasn’t that critical. It didn’t mean Taehyung was fine, on the contrary. However, it gave JK a reason to continue their conversation. He had to act now when Taehyung tried to collect his thoughts.

“It’s not supposed to be easy—”

“Shut up! Just shut up!”

Taehyung raised his head and glared at Jungkook as if he wanted to warn him not to try to speak again.

“I have had enough of you. Please, just leave me alone,” Taehyung said firmly, and then he quickly stood up to go around the kitchen island.

Jungkook was too stunned to act. He completely didn’t expect such words from the boy. He blinked twice to come to his senses, just in time to realize what Taehyung wanted to do. When Jungkook turned to his side he was already in the center of the living room, heading toward the stairs. The boy tried to escape this conversation by simply walking away and JK couldn’t let him do it. They were not done yet.

He immediately ran after him and caught him just in time. He grabbed Taehyung by his wrist and for a few seconds, the boy tried to jerk it off from Jungkook’s strong grip but ultimately failed. They were struggling as neither of them wanted to let go. Jungkook wasn’t comfortable with holding the boy down by force but at that point, there was no other way.

“Wait, let me—”

“If you still want to help me then treat me just like every other student in our school does,” he cut in; his voice still angry. “I’m nothing more to you than a walking perfection.”

Jungkook felt a weird pain in his chest as he heard those words. So Taehyung really wanted to get rid of him, of all they went through together, of all the memories, just as if Jungkook had never helped him. He wanted to forget about his true self and as it was the one that had some kind of relationship with JK, he wanted to forget him as well.

“Let go of my hand,” Taehyung demanded and tried to pull away but Jungkook couldn’t let him go just yet.

He was reluctant to believe that Taehyung actually meant all he had just said. It wasn’t his heart speaking as it couldn’t be what he really wanted right now. The boy couldn’t have changed his mind so quickly. There must have been a reason but Jungkook just couldn’t name it now.

And since rational arguments did not work, JK had to react rather drastically. He never liked doing this, but this time he had to call to the boy’s conscience. Jungkook knew some people wouldn’t be persuaded even in that way, yet he hoped the boy would not be the case. Taehyung’s heart wasn’t made out of stone as he had already proven to him many times.

“What about promises?” Jungkook asked softly. “You promised to tell me everything. You wanted me to know.”

These were exactly Taehyung’s words from yesterday. This time the boy couldn’t say it had never happened or that he did not agree on anything, the same way he did with the liking case. He promised to tell him everything. He just asked for some more time. Back then Jungkook was more than sure that someone as honorable as Taehyung would not take back his word and now he wanted to be right so badly.

Taehyung stopped fighting with Jungkook for a second. It seemed like those words finally got to him. He froze for a moment but didn’t dare to look up. His gaze was still indifferently focused on the floor—anything just not to look at Jungkook. He was hesitant, thinking of the best possible answer. It looked a little as if he was fighting within himself; as if the fake Taehyung tried to silence the inner voice of the real Taehyung. Oh, how badly did Jungkook wish for the latter one to win.

But when he saw the boy’s chin going up in this distingue way, Jungkook already knew which side of Taehyung took control over his actions.

“Maybe it was a mistake.”

“A mistake is to think you can go through it alone,” Jungkook snorted and pointed his finger at the boy. “As for the smartest guy at school, you’re surprisingly stupid, you know?”

Taehyung may have excelled in every possible subject and knew the history of art by heart, but when it came to social interactions he was at the same level as a preschooler. JK didn't understand how someone with such knowledge and intelligence could believe in such nonsense.

“I can do it alone,” Taehyung said confidently.

“Then what? Was it all a lie? When you told me I was the only one you could trust? When you said I deserved to know the story? That you want me to know it? That you need me?”

And that would be one of the hardest things to accept for Jungkook—being lied to. He knew Taehyung was an excellent liar but JK believed he was the one person the boy was more or less honest with. Well, Jungkook still didn’t fully trust him but… damn, he couldn’t have been deceived like this. It all couldn’t be fake.

Jungkook waited for the answer with his heart on his sleeve. Actually, he could feel it beating faster than normal as the next words were so important to him. He trusted Taehyung on that one thing: he trusted him to keep his word, both by not lying to him and by telling him the truth one day. That is why when the boy kept ignoring him, JK got much more anxious than before.  

“Taehyung, look at me. Was it all a lie?”

He grabbed his wrist a little tighter, hoping it would finally make the boy look at him. Jungkook knew that the true answer was hidden inside Taehyung’s eyes; he would not believe any of the boy’s words unless he looked directly into those black eyes. And maybe that is exactly why Taehyung was still looking away.

Jungkook watched his profile closely. He saw every muscle on his face working as he tried to steady his expression. JK followed each small gulp he made, each shallow and quiet breath he took, preparing for the answer. His lips got a little bit dry—a sign which might indicate he was about to lie. But all Jungkook wanted to hear was the truth. No matter how hurtful it may be.

Unfortunately, Jungkook learned what was the true feeling behind the word hurtful as Taehyung whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Jungkook had never thought he would care so much about those two words and yet hearing them just now felt like an arrow to a heart.

Because he couldn’t have been lied to. Jungkook refused to believe Taehyung played him like this. He could feel the boy’s words were real. All that he had said to him at the stairs came directly from his heart—that one thing Jungkook was sure of. Besides, being sorry didn’t mean all they had was fake. However, it surely meant Taehyung didn’t want him by his side anymore. And that was the hardest thing to accept.

Jungkook was too stunned to think straight which is why his grip on Taehyung’s wrist loosened a little. It was enough for the boy to quickly take his hand back. JK could feel it slipping through his fingers; his skin gently brushing against his fingertips leaving a lingering warm feeling—feeling Jungkook would be missing so much.

He managed to get a hold of himself even though he could feel his hand going uncomfortably cold. JK was so frustrated with Taehyung’s decision that he couldn’t decide if he was more angry or disappointed in his behavior. He surely wanted to say everything he thought about the boy just now, half of his thought not even being close to family-friendly content. On the other hand, he knew they would not make any difference. There was no way to get to the real Taehyung when he was in this state of mind.

He could just stand there hopelessly and watch as the boy took a step back, making a significant distance between them. A distance that shouldn’t be there. Not when only a few hours ago the space between them was almost none existent as Jungkook hugged him tightly in his arms. Not when he did so much to be by Taehyung’s time anytime he needed it the most. Not when he was the one closest to the boy.

Jungkook believed he could find a way to help him which is why he was so disappointed that Taehyung didn’t give him a chance to try. He dropped his hands resignedly, letting them fall lifelessly down his body. There was no point in fighting any longer. There was nothing JK could do right now.

“I'm sorry,” Jungkook repeated softly with a lot of disbelief and sadness in his voice. He still couldn't believe that after everything he'd done for the boy, those were the words of the cold goodbye. 

He scoffed, shook his head in disbelief, and bit his lip lightly. He put his hands on his hips as if he was still waiting for something, but he wasn't quite sure what for. Taehyung surely would not change his mind or take back his words. He didn’t even dare to look back at Jungkook. He only raised his chin a little bit higher and seemed to be restlessly glancing at the stairs, probably wanting to run away to his room as fast as possible.

Jungkook wanted to say something more but there were no words he could use right now to help the case. His pride was wounded and he needed to be the last one to have a word in this conversation. He hated losing but unfortunately, that was exactly what had happened—he lost.

So when Taehyung slightly turned toward the stairs, Jungkook did the same and rushed to the door. He was no longer needed nor welcomed here.

He thought he would be able to leave smoothly and without any regrets. When the first wave of shock and disbelief washed over him, all that stayed was pure anger. He had to release these emotions somewhere as staying inside the apartment only caused his blood to boil.

But some dumb mysterious force made him look over his shoulder the moment he grabbed the door handle.

It was supposed to be only a glance. The last chance for Taehyung to redeem himself. The last hope to save this morning and what they were fighting for these past few weeks. And Jungkook was stupid enough to believe it might have changed something. Because all he could see was Taehyung confidently climbing up the stairs without the slightest intention of keeping Jungkook in his apartment.

Taehyung no longer cared and at this point, Jungkook doubted if he had ever cared at all.

Chapter Text

Jungkook was a pro at skipping school. Sometimes he did it only because he wasn’t in the mood to be there; sometimes because he had better things to do and places to be; sometimes because he hated that weird system; and sometimes because he needed some me time to gather his thoughts. And the last reason was exactly why he decided to skip school today.

Since he left Taehyung’s apartment he hadn’t thought of anything else other than punching something. That is why he immediately headed to the gym after a quick walk back home. He tried not to think of everything that had just happened between him and Taehyung but his mind decided otherwise and was tormenting him with all the painful memories. They only went away for a while, the moment he started punching. He couldn’t really tell how much time he spent at the gym but leaving out all his frustration on the punching bag seemed like a blessing.

He could feel his knuckles getting sore as they probably were all reddened or even bleeding under the boxing gloves. The sweat kept rolling down his forehead and falling into his eyes, blurring his vision. JK swept it with the back of his forearm from time to time but he was too focused on a punching bag to even care.

He got so caught up with all the punches, making them heavier and faster, falling into some crazy punching zone, that one of the guys had to call him down. The buffed man working at the gym grabbed him by the shoulders and held him down forcefully. Of course, it wasn’t an easy thing to do but it was the only way to stop his punches.

“Hey, calm down, mate,” the man grunted struggling with JK as he didn’t want to let go. “Stop it. You’ll only get hurt like that.”

But Jungkook was already hurt and he didn’t really care if he got hurt more. Damn, this whole situation was worse than a break-up.

He came back home angrier than ever with his hands covered with a lot of small but nasty scratches. He didn’t even put a soothing ointment on top of them, partially out of spite, partially out of stupidity. Something about the reddened skin on his knuckles reflected how badly he was hurt inside. Maybe he hoped the physical pain would be enough to cover the one he got in his heart but it only made everything worse. Now he was hurting everywhere.

Jungkook didn’t know what to do with himself and how to survive the following days. Suddenly going to school wasn’t his priority. He knew the moment he went there, he would have to treat Taehyung as all the other students and that was a challenge far greater than he expected. How to pretend that nothing was going on between them? That he didn’t try to help the boy in so many ways? That he still cared about him. That he truly liked him?

Seeing Taehyung sitting on this damn bench acting all perfect once again would only be a painful reminder that Jungkook failed to save him.

JK spent the whole Friday at the gym again. This time he made sure to get some proper rest between sessions not to be stopped by the trainers again. Still, he could feel patronizing glances from gym staff and regulars who knew him. Nobody dared to say anything to him, although it seemed like everyone wanted to. That is why Jungkook kept it low. He was too focused on himself and his workout routine to even think about others. Basically, that was a goal—not to think too much.

Because each time his head was a little more free his mind went absolutely wild.

He had a painful headache just thinking about Taehyung and all that happened that cursed morning. Jungkook still didn’t believe that Taehyung meant all he had said to him. JK was more than sure there was a reason behind his behavior, the one other than the boy not needing him anymore. Jungkook simply refused to believe it was true.

On the other hand, he knew getting any information out of the boy was just impossible. It was hard when they were remotely close, so it would be even harder now when Taehyung didn’t want to talk to him at all. Maybe he should try and visit him the next time it would rain? Or maybe call him during long and dark evenings? Just try to get him at the time when he was most likely to be his true self. Talking to him at school didn’t make any sense. It was the kingdom of the walking perfection only.

Jungkook just had to do something. He couldn’t let the boy drown in his despair even further when he saw him suffering like that. JK was the only one who knew about it and letting go of Taehyung meant the boy was left completely alone with his problems. And if Jungkook couldn’t get to him then there was probably nobody else in the entire world able to do it. By doing nothing he felt as if he was a passer-by putting his headphones on just to ignore someone’s desperate calls for help.

The thing was there were no direct calls for help. Taehyung was silent.

And if it was his decision then Jungkook should accept it. Well, he would never honor or agree with Taehyung’s way of thinking, but in the end accepting it was the least he could do. It was so damn hard to do it but in the given situation it might have been the only way for now. Fighting for somebody who didn’t want to fight for themselves was so demanding and maybe it was high time for Jungkook to rest.

Maybe he should finally live his life the way he wanted to live when he came back to Austin. To focus more on his past friends and make some new ones. To socialize more and make as many happy memories to lift his spirits a little. To come back to basketball on the professional level and have a team of trustworthy mates with whom he could win the championship. To be a carefree teenager for a little while—adulthood sucked.

It was such a hopeful vision: to have a healthy and happy future for once. It was so tempting that when Monday came, Jungkook decided to go for it. Now it was time to do all these things he wanted to do but couldn’t because of Taehyung.

Jungkook made up his mind but he knew it wouldn’t be easy to stick to his decision. Because the harder he tried to convince himself he shouldn’t care about Taehyung anymore, the more he thought about the boy. And it only made everything even more complicated.

“Gukkie, I'm talking to you.”

Jungkook immediately came to his senses when he heard Jimin's irritated voice in his left ear. The boy was probably talking to him for quite a while but JK’s mind was once again gone. Ugh, he hated how much he couldn’t focus on anything lately. Not even on his best friend.

Recently, JK neglected Jimin quite a lot; avoiding honest conversations or random friendly meetings and of course, lying to him on countless occasions. It wasn’t how the friendship should have looked like and Jungkook felt so bad for treating Jimin like this. All because of Taehyung, of course. Damn, the boy didn’t even let him spend some quality time with his best friend.

“I know. I'm sorry,” he apologized quickly and maximally focused on Jimin. It was their time. No space for Taehyung and his problems. “I'm all ears now.”

Despite Jungkook's honest intentions, Jimin could tell right away that JK's mind was still somewhere else. That is why he sent his best friend one quite long and meaningful look.

“Nah, I don't think so. You seem off lately and you skipped school last week.”

“I like skipping school.”

“Yeah, but this time it's not your regular skipping school, right?” Jimin raised his brow. “Besides, your hands… Have you done something about it?”

He reached out to touch Jungkook's hand but he quickly took it back, before Jimin’s fingers could get too close. His skin was dry and pale but his knuckles were still reddened with a few visible and painful scratches. Jungkook should have treated the wounds somehow but in the end, he didn't. That is why it looked so nasty. No wonder why Jimin got worried.

“It's okay,” he said dismissively. “I've been boxing a lot this weekend. It will be fine in a few days.”

“Boxing?” Jimin sounded surprised even though he already knew Jungkook was into it.

“Yep. I needed to land a few… punches.”

“Oh. That's what have you been doing instead of coming to school?”

“Mmm.”

Jimin looked at him curiously as if he was trying to read something else out of his expression. He seemed concerned with Jungkook’s state so it wasn't a huge surprise for JK when a second later he asked, “Are you okay?”

Again, Jimin had an amazing eye for similar things. It was as if he could sense people’s problems; especially Jungkook’s problems. Maybe it was because of the bond they formed long ago as childhood friends. Or maybe it was just some overriding trait of Jimin that he was born with. What mattered the most was the fact that the boy always knew when something was bothering others. It was as if he had some kind of radar tuned to others' misery.

No matter how strongly JK believed that he had developed some kind of defense mechanism, that he had learned to pretend, that he had changed over the past three years, Jimin was still able to see that not everything in his life was exactly as it should be. And Jungkook didn’t need to have some visible scars for Jimin to notice it.

That's why it was so hard to lie to him. Not because Jungkook sucked at lying in general but because Jimin had a nose for lies. Something like a built-in lie detector. Guess a few years of being the main gossip girl granted him the ability to recognize bullshit from a mile away. He knew how to sort the most important and relevant information out of the ocean of meaningless gossip. 

It was a miracle that Jungkook managed to keep his relationship with Taehyung a secret from the blonde for so long.

Jungkook thought of another half-truth, something to convince Jimin it wasn’t as bad with him as the boy thought. He had a perfect excuse already prepared when he realized there was no point in hiding it. If he wanted to finally live his life in Austin the way he desired, he had to be honest with his one and only friend.

“I'm not,” JK sighed.

“You're not?” Jimin immediately sat up and looked at him pretty much concerned. “Oh my gosh, why haven’t you said something earlier?”

Of course, he slightly overreacted and Jungkook had to quickly calm his best friend down. He couldn’t let Jimin worry about him so much. It wasn’t what JK needed nor he was in a critical state. Besides, Jungkook knew how horribly devastating a feeling it was to care and worry about someone so much. He couldn’t let Jimin fall into the same trap Jungkook did a few weeks ago. As it turned out there was no escape from it.

“Ah, no. Well, overall I’m fine but the thing is…I have a problem and I don't know if there's a way to solve it.”

Because that’s what it was all about. Jungkook could complain about his body not being in the ideal state, same for his mind, but it was all connected to that one problem he still had with Taehyung. No matter how many times he said to himself that maybe he should let go and focus on himself instead if the boy didn’t need him, JK just couldn’t stop thinking that Taehyung wasn’t entirely honest with him.

How could he leave the boy alone knowing his past experiences with rain? What if he changed his mind not only about his personality but also about his future? He couldn’t end it the second time he tried it because of Jungkook, so what would the boy do when JK wouldn’t be by his side anymore? Would he try it again or would he keep his promises? Well, fortunately, or not, Taehyung wasn’t good at any of these things.

At one point Jungkook doubted there was a solution in this case because none of the scenarios seemed right. He wanted to get his normal life back, without worrying and so much stress he already had, but he couldn’t achieve it over a possible happy ending for Taehyung.

That is why he was so angry at the boy. If only he wanted to cooperate instead of making everything more complicated than before. Maybe Taehyung was right in telling JK that he shouldn’t like him. After all the backstabbing he did the only thing Jungkook should feel toward the boy was hatred.

Damn you, Taehyung.

“Let me help,” Jimin offered. “Maybe you need a fresh look at this case. And you know I have quite an imagination.”

This one Jungkook was more than sure of. Jimin’s imagination was quite wild at times, especially when it wasn’t the opportune moment for that. Jungkook has had his fair share of embarrassing moments created just because Jimin let his crazy thoughts loose. The blond should learn when to keep his mouth shut. JK should have carried a gray duct tape around—just in case.

But as much as he wasn’t overly fond of that side of Jimin, this time he was right. He needed someone else to look at this problem because he no longer had a clue how to speak to Taehyung. His vision was clouded by all the mixed emotions he felt toward the boy and maybe he couldn’t see something obvious in his behavior. And he really wanted to know why he suddenly closed on him. JK had a feeling this reason was key to solving the rest of this case. 

Of course, he couldn't tell Jimin all the details of this story, especially not the thing that he was secretly meeting with Taehyung all this time. It would generate more questions than answers and Jungkook wasn’t ready for such a confrontation. Instead, he decided to tell the story in a rather general, non-specific way, so it could fit in any narrative Jimin would think of. 

There was a high risk that Jimin would get a lead with this story but considering how complicated it already was, the chances of him finding out every detail were rather low. However, the blond had already been suspicious after they talked with Taehyung first on his bench and later on the patio. Jungkook had to be careful but taking the risk was better than lying nervously on the grass.

Jungkook wasn’t about to make the same mistake Taehyung did. Jungkook wanted to find a solution and change something. That is why he took a deep breath and started his story, carefully choosing his next words.

“So I tried to help that one person and I think I managed to do it in some way. Things were going in the right direction, or so I thought when suddenly I got completely shut down. Without any particular or rational reason. So now I'm equally angry and disappointed and I don't know how to approach them again. And I know I… should. I can’t just leave it like this.”

That was the shortest and the least complicated way he could tell this story. Without many details, it would probably be rather challenging for Jimin to help him but that was all he could tell the boy. The blond looked at him curiously and squinted his eyes a little, as he stroked his chin with his left hand.

“Mm, it doesn’t sound good,” he smacked his lips.

“Because it isn't,” JK growled in irritation. “It only makes me so fucking trusfated.”

“You meant frustrated?”

Only when Jimin pointed out his mistake did he realize what he had said. Somehow he always had problems with this word and JK couldn’t really tell why. His brain simply stopped working the moment he had to say this one word. It must have been some dark force taking over him for a while because he wasn’t that dumb, right?

“Ugh, of course,” JK quickly corrected himself but at least this time he had an excuse. “You see? I'm too trusf—Shit! I’m too frustrated to even talk about it.”

Jimin smiled softly, endeared by Jungkook’s clumsiness. But there was something more to that smile. JK could tell that the blond had already come up with some crazy theory or a solution to his problem. However, it meant their conversation could go in so many directions. Jungkook just wasn’t sure which one Jimin would choose. And unfortunately, he started from one of the most dangerous ones.

“Hmm. Then I think I know what’s the story about.”

Jungkook felt a sudden pang in his heart and subconsciously panicked. There was no way Jimin could have guessed the story was about Taehyung; at least not from those few sentences he had just told him. Even if Jimin had some supernatural powers and was able to read his mind, JK still hoped this wasn't what was really happening here. Otherwise, he would have had a lot of explaining to do and he wasn't ready for it.

He swallowed slowly, feeling his throat getting dry. He had a bad feeling about this and he wasn’t wrong when he heard Jimin continue.

“It's Lisa, right?”

“Lisa?!”

The girl's name escaped his mouth before he could even think about it. JK wasn’t expecting it at all so it was a rather natural reaction—his body reacted before he could think about it. As it turned out it was the only word he managed to say before Jimin explained his theory.

“Oh, Gukkie, you should have said it straight. It's so obvious. You two are so obvious. She keeps walking around the school in a team’s jacket and I can bet my whole life it's yours. She also kinda brags about it quite a lot so I don't know why she's keeping you at a distance. Maybe she's afraid of rumors after what happened at her birthday party. For me, that's the only reason.”

Jungkook listened, and the longer he listened, the more he tried not to open his mouth in a greater surprise. Jimin’s imagination was truly something out of this world. He missed all the important information and created a story that had never existed. Okay, maybe he was right about the jacket—JK forgot to take it back from the girls after that one evening out. But the rest? Nothing was going on between them despite the girl's greatest intentions.

On the one hand, Jungkook was happy that his unusual relationship with Taehyung remained a secret, but on the other, he didn't like to suddenly be involved in some so-called relationship with Lisa. Jungkook still hasn't decided what kind of relationship should they have or which kind he wanted to have with her. There was something there but JK simply didn’t have time to think about it.

Well, he had no time for anything at all, no time for himself nor the girl. If he had been free this past few weeks, then maybe he would have figured it out way sooner. This internal conflict about Lisa would have been sorted out and Jungkook would have known if Jimin's warnings were true. 

After their conversation outside the bar, Jungkook didn’t really see how Lisa could be a bad person to meet or date with. She had her way of being, quite questionable at times, but they were still young, and making mistakes was their privilege. He wasn’t a saint either.

Besides, Jungkook also saw the other side of the girl; the one extremely fragile and soft, much different from the confident and popular persona she showed all the time as a cheerleader. It only reminded Jungkook of someone else’s personality. The personality of the boy JK ran to just a few minutes after that conversation with Lisa.

And since the boy turned out to be completely unavailable for some unknown reason, maybe it was worth approaching the girl.

Although Jungkook was surprised by Jimin's comment at first, he probably had to thank him for bringing this topic up. Apparently the story which was supposed to refer to Taehyung, applied to Lisa in some way as well. Damn, Jimin was extremely observant. He noticed something even JK wasn’t aware of when his mind was occupied with much more important things.

“Look, she still wears it.” Jimin pointed toward the other side of the patio where Lisa sat with her friends, eating lunch.

One look was enough to recognize the girl. She was glowing from a distance with that bright smile of hers as she was crunching on the straw of her smoothie. Her long blonde hair fell on her shoulders contrasting with the navy blue color of the team’s jacket—his jacket. It was too big for Lisa but somehow it suited her.

Jungkook completely forgot that he had left his jacket in the girl's possession that evening. Not that he particularly felt its absence—he didn't wear it anyway. However, it was a little strange that Lisa hadn't bothered to give it back to him yet and wore it everywhere around the school. Of course, it only created more and more gossip, just like the last time. Jungkook couldn’t shake the feeling it was all done on purpose, just to drag his attention to her. And as much as JK hated it, Lisa succeeded.

“Is this why you haven’t told me earlier?” Jimin asked, still pretty much concerned. “Because you were afraid of what would I say about it? Because you thought I would try to discourage you from dating her? Ah, you shouldn’t have kept it away from me. I feel bad about it now. I know I told you not to go for it but who am I to stop you?”

Jimin’s voice was softer and understanding but still quite worried. He most likely felt guilty, especially when he saw Jungkook subconsciously looking toward the girl. “If that's what you want then… you know.”

 The thing was, Jungkook didn't know if it was what he really wanted.

“Ahhh, Gukkie. I hate to see you so bugged down. So here you are. You have my blessing.”

Jungkook smiled to himself. In a way, it was a really cute gesture from Jimin. On the other hand, he couldn't have known that JK’s concerns were connected with someone else. Jungkook wondered if Jimin would still give him his blessing if he knew it was all about Taehyung.

All about Taehyung who was once again sitting on his bench. This time he wasn’t scribbling something in his notebook but was calmly reading one of the textbooks. Somehow his movements, looks and behavior seemed to be even more perfect than before and it only made Jungkook unbearably restless. Each time he glanced in that direction he couldn’t stop himself from thinking he messed something up. That it shouldn’t look like this.

But at the same time if Taehyung wanted Jungkook to treat him just like every other student then maybe that is what he should do. At least at school. JK’s relationship with this version of Taehyung was practically non-existent or maybe even enemy-like, depending on how he interpreted the boy’s behavior during their conversation on the rooftop. Either way, they surely weren’t friends.

He had only one friend and he should start spending some time with him. No more worrying about Taehyung meant more time for himself, more time for basketball, for playing video games with Jimin, for meeting new people. Yes, that was exactly what Jungkook wanted to do.

“You're right. Maybe we need to talk it through," JK said finally, summing up his friend's words. The thing was, he wasn't entirely sure if those words referred more to Lisa or Taehyung.

Jungkook grunted as he quickly stood up. He already made his decision and he was about to act. No more sulking and overthinking. It was time to be selfish for once.

Of course, his sudden movement provoked a surprised, maybe even slightly panicked look from Jimin. “Wait. But now? You want to talk right now?”

“I don't see the problem.”

“In front of so many people? They will talk, Gukkie. You know it, right?

“They will talk anyway. I'm just giving them another reason.”

He said casually, made a theatrical salute, and with a smirk on his face strode confidently toward the group of cheerleaders sitting at the other side of the patio. He headed there without any hesitation and with one clear purpose. Somehow he wanted to make it obvious to everyone gathered at the patio. He didn't know why he cared so much about emphasizing his intentions, but if this school wanted to have a show then he was about to give the best performance of his life.

And when he was halfway there, some unnamed force subconsciously made him look over his shoulder at that damn bench. Surprisingly, the perfect version of Taehyung did not stare indifferently at the book, but carefully followed his next movements. And this made Jungkook scoff loudly as he quickened his pace even more. He wanted Taehyung to see that he took his request seriously. He was about to focus on his own life only.

As he approached the girls, a few of them noticed him and discreetly warned Lisa. Such soft and not overly subtle nudges looked ridiculous, to say the least. But as a result, the blonde merely brushed one of her long strands behind her ear, revealing a gold earring. The conversations immediately stopped when Jungkook stood over the group of sitting girls. They all stared at him with their curious eyes. He, however, just stared at Lisa.

“Hey,” JK said softly to all the girls just not to seem rude, and then added directly toward Lisa, “Can I steal you for a minute?”

Lisa finally looked up and for a moment longer she just stared at him intensely. Jungkook didn’t know what that was supposed to mean which is why he felt relieved when she smiled warmly and nodded, accepting his proposal. She stood up quite quickly and followed him toward a slightly more shadowed place on the patio.

They stood opposite to each other, and the girl hesitantly put her hands into the pockets of his jacket. She was aware that whatever they wanted to talk about and whatever they were about to do right now, they were observed by everyone spending their lunch break on the patio. Jungkook felt the pressure but not enough to make him abandon his plan.

“So, what's up?” she said happily, just to break the awkward silence. From her stable and unbothered voice, JK assumed she wasn’t overly concerned about being at the center of attention. Guess she got used to it or simply liked it. Good, one less problem for him.

“A few things actually. The first one being you wearing my jacket.” JK pointed at the blue piece of clothing completing the girl's cheerleader outfit. “I know it suits you, but I need it back.”

“Oh, right. Sorry."

She apologized but Jungkook knew she wasn't really sorry about it. If he hadn't said anything, she would probably have worn it until graduation. Jungkook had a hard time understanding why girls had that specific obsession with boys’ clothes. He somehow got used to it, sharing his hoodies more times than he would like to admit, but he still couldn’t find the answer. And unfortunately one or two of his hoodies were still missing until this day.

Jungkook surely wouldn’t mind if his team’s jacket went missing as well. He would gladly trade it for one of his previously stolen hoodies. However, this time he needed the jacket back, though the reason had nothing to do with him liking it. He had to execute his plan and there was nothing that could stop him right now.

Before the girl could dig her hands out of the pockets, he took a step forward and slightly leaned over her. He made sure that she was looking directly into his eyes and only then did he gently grab the collar of her jacket. He slowly slid the material from her shoulders and helped her take off the jacket. His fingers accidentally brushed against the bare skin on her arm, leaving warm traces down to her elbows. Then he gently took his property back, still staring into her wandering eyes.

He did it all intentionally as he knew how others would look at this gesture—there was only one way to interpret it. If he wanted to give people something to gossip about, that was exactly what he did.

Lisa became quite flustered as her cheeks turned into a beautiful shade of pink. It was the first time he saw her like that but that was a good sign. It meant he still remembered how to seduce girls. Or maybe it was just a reminder that he never really forgot how to do it, although he clearly stopped practicing it for some time.

With a sly smile on his lips, he took the jacket and, as if nothing had happened, he simply put it on. He straightened the collar and adjusted the sleeves to fit him better, trying not to think about the rose scent the fabric was permeated with. There was one thing left to do.

“Are you free on Friday?” he asked casually.

Lisa was too stunned to answer. Her eyes lit up with joy as she smiled widely just before she nodded.

“Cool. I'll text you then. I still have the number.” JK winked, referring to the pink note he received from the girl on his first day at school.

He didn't want to drag out this drama any longer, so he just gave the girl another smirk and turned on his heel to return to his place at Jimin's side. He had a goofy smile on his face the whole way back because he knew the entire patio was still watching him. He could already hear the whispers around him and JK had never thought he would enjoy being on the lips of the entire school.

Jungkook dropped that fake smile only when he lay down on the grass beside Jimin. Once again he put his hands under his head and stared at the blue sky above him. Of course, not for long, because a moment later a shocked Jimin leaned over him.

“What the fuck was that?” Jimin hit him in the arm, which surprisingly hurt a little. But maybe it was a better solution. Just from Jimin’s expression, Jungkook was more than sure he wanted to put his hands on his shoulders and shake him all over quite hard.

“What?” JK shrugged. “I just followed your advice and apparently everything seems fine now. Thank you.”

“Fine? Fine?! If only! That looked more than fine for me!”

“You gave me your permission so don't sulk right now.”

“I know. It's not that. Just…Ugh. I didn't know you had so much game in you.”

Jungkook couldn't help but smirk again. There were many things Jimin didn't know about him. Over the last three years, he had done a few things that would probably surprise Jimin. Some were serious and about those, he preferred not to talk at all. But there were a lot way more interesting stories, maybe even spicy ones, that the blonde would definitely appreciate hearing about.

Still, it was all locked down in the Atlanta box and Jungkook had no intention of opening it any time soon. Well, there was only one person who could make him reach for that key in an instant but he chose not to.

“You know what?” Jimin asked with his eyebrow raised suspiciously. “It looked as if you wanted to make all of us here jealous that we’re not her.”

This remark caught Jungkook's attention. Jealousy. Was that really his intention? Sure, he could have asked the girl out in a much less ostentatious and spectacular way. People would still be talking, even if he took the jacket from her in the normal way. So why was he so keen on making a show like this? A completely unnecessary show. He wanted to be his past confident self, living his best life and maybe that is why he got caught up in such emotions. He surely didn’t want to make anyone jealous. Because if so then who exactly?

He closed his eyes to clear himself of these thoughts. But when his eyesight was taken away, his other senses became more sensitive, and he could no longer ignore the rose scent that permeated his jacket. The scent only reminded him of the other rose scent he had woken up to a few days ago. This scent was much sweeter and feminine; it lacked the freshness and maturity he felt in the floral scent of Taehyung's sheets. And that's why he definitely preferred the latter one. He would give up everything just to make his jacket have that scent right now.

Lost in a dangerous thought, he opened his eyes for a moment to look toward the infamous bench. To his surprise, Taehyung was no longer there. Weird. When he was talking to the girl just a moment ago, he was still sitting on his bench and looking at them. So why did he suddenly leave?

“Come on, you had to be aware of your bad-boy charm,” Jimin continued when Jungkook got caught up in his thoughts. “Even I felt jealous. Do you always undress people like that?”

“Do you want to see for yourself?” JK teased him a little.

“Part of me wants to say yes but part of me knows it would be really awkward. So I'll just stick to admiring your techniques from afar. Clearly for scientific purposes, of course.”

Jungkook couldn't help but laugh at that. “Don't tell me you need a tutorial. I bet you mastered all the techniques way before me.”

“That's true.”

Jimin smiled and nodded confidently. Such a compliment was enough to make him a little full of himself and that was exactly what Jungkook needed right now. He hoped it would make Jimin less eager to talk about the undressing incident in a serious way. The jealousy remark was a little dangerous and Jungkook didn’t need another so-called reason to analyze his behavior.

He much more wanted to talk to the gossip-driven Jimin, which was quite concerning, knowing how it wasn’t his favorite side of the boy. Oh God, what have I become lately?

“So, where are you taking her?” Jimin asked, confirming that the gossip girl in him took control over his body. “Because I assume you didn't go there just to undress her in the middle of the patio, right?”

There was no chance Jimin heard their conversation but apparently, it was obvious from his behavior that he not only took back his jacket but also asked her out. However, from the tone of the boy’s question, it seemed that the undressing accident was far more outrageous than JK had thought. Nevertheless, he decided to ignore it for now. That is why he simply shrugged.

“I don't know yet. Maybe some coffee shop?”

“You should totally go for it,” Jimin encouraged him. “She absolutely loves coffee.”

“Finally someone who likes coffee.”

Jungkook couldn’t stop himself and murmured under his breath. After all the coffee incidents with Taehyung, he has had enough of people who refused to drink God’s potion.

“Finally? Everyone likes coffee.”

Jimin scoffed and only then did Jungkook realize he had said the previous sentence at loud. His friend couldn’t have known about his past experiences with Taehyung (for the better of course) and he couldn’t have known about him hating coffee. It was a little bit awkward and Jungkook hoped there would be no follow-up question to his comment. Because he truly didn’t know how to explain himself this time.

Fortunately, Jimin just ignored it and went on checking some nearby coffee shops on his phone, recommending some of them to Jungkook from time to time. Only then did Jungkook realize that he really had asked Lisa out and that he had to go and plan a date with her. He obliged to do it and there was no way back now.

Well, he kind of wanted to know how it would go but he still wasn’t truly convinced it was the right thing to do. Either way, he was about to find out. It has always been about making his own decisions and making some mistakes. It wouldn’t be his first one but on the other hand, he hoped this time he’d at least have some good time. He desperately needed something good in his life.

He still had mixed feelings about all that had happened, especially when a date with Lisa wasn’t even on his mind before Jimin mentioned it a few minutes ago. He wanted to get some advice on how to approach Taehyung again, not how to ask Lisa out. But maybe that is how it was supposed to be. He was torn between letting go and pushing forward, and he just subconsciously got the answer he needed.

“So that was it?” Jimin asked when Jungkook picked up his backpack from the grass as the lunch break was about to be over.

“What was what?”

Jungkook sent him a questioning glance as he couldn’t tell what was it all about. Judging from his friend’s interrogative gaze it couldn’t be anything good.

“The problem you wanted to solve. It was Lisa, right?”

Aish, Jungkook hoped the boy would not ask him about it anymore. He thought everything he did during that lunch break was enough to convince him he guessed the narrative right, even though it was about something completely different. If back then Jungkook didn’t have to lie to get out of this weird situation then now it was rather necessary. Jimin asked him a direct question and there was no escape from it.

“Was it worth skipping school and all the bruises you got on your hands?” Jimin raised his brow. “All of this over one simple conversation at the patio?”

Gosh, he was good. Too good for Jungkook’s liking. He could already tell that Jimin was onto something and he had to discourage him from digging even deeper. That is why when the boy crossed his hand on his chest, like a mom who questioned a child coming back way too late at night, JK knew he had to act. He casually slung his heavy backpack over his shoulder and mustered the brightest fake smile he could think of. Just as if he wanted to seduce Jimin as well.

“Yeah, it was pretty much it.”

They were looking at each other for quite some time during which Jungkook begged Jimin to finally back down and just believe in his words. He hoped he managed to fool his friend enough not to make him suspicious of his state. JK felt bad for lying to the boy once again but he had no other choice for now. Maybe one day he would be able to come clean about everything. Unfortunately for Jimin, it wasn’t the day.

Jimin once again squinted his eyes and raised his chin a little, but in the end, he sighed heavily and finally relaxed.

“Okay then, Gukkie. I trust you on that.”

And that wasn’t the best decision really.

“But!” Jimin added quickly, his voice more firm than before. “You would tell me everything about that date once you come back home… or not.”

Jungkook hit him on the forearm, knowing exactly what he meant by not coming back home after that date.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” He raised his hands in a defensive gesture. “It can wait until you’ll be free the next morning… or not.”

“Jimin!”

But before Jungkook could hit him again, he already childishly sprinted toward the doors. JK was in no mood for chasing him so he decided to let him go this one time. Maybe for the better. This conversation was getting even weirder and more awkward with every word. The most important thing was that Jungkook managed to keep the truth away from Jimin.

He sighed, grabbed his backpack a little bit harder, and headed toward his next classes. He was tempted to look back at the bench but he had already known there was no one sitting there. That’s why he only shrugged and decided to let it go the way he should have from the very beginning.

Chapter Text

It was the first time Jungkook had ever hated the ordered coffee. Since the waiter put the cup in front of him, he managed to put one teaspoon of sugar inside, take only half a sip, and stir the black liquid for another fifteen minutes. He was more than sure his coffee was already cold and he had no intentions to drink it. And he couldn't even name the reason for such scandalous behavior.

However, there was one quite plausible scenario.

He looked up from his cup to gaze at Lisa who was finishing her coffee. She chose one of the sweetest ones: with all the toppings, fancy milk, caramel syrup, and whipped cream everywhere. The girl seemed to like her choice as she smiled widely the moment she put her empty cup down.

It was Friday afternoon and exactly as they had agreed, he went on a date with Lisa. They went to the coffee shop in the city center—the one Jimin recommended the most. The boy went on and asked everyone around what Lisa liked and what places she’d like to visit but, of course, he wasn’t overly discreet while doing so. At one point absolutely everyone knew about their date and it was a miracle that half of the school didn’t come here with them. JK was more than sure their date was one of the most important social events in this school. 

Jungkook hated it because it only made this meeting quite uncomfortable; as if it wasn’t already awkward after everything that had happened between them: all the rumors and proposals of quite enjoyable yet dangerous agreements. JK came here just to have a good time and to know Lisa a little better— mainly her personality of course. He wasn’t interested in anything… more; or at least not yet.

Before they went inside, they walked around the city center for a while. They had a few casual conversations about basically everything and JK could tell that Lisa enjoyed spending time with him. She was quite talkative, as most of the girls he hung up with, but it suited him—he has never been the type to talk a lot.

Jungkook had to admit he even liked listening to her—she had so many interesting stories to tell. And he would have enjoyed it even more if it wasn’t for the fact that his mind was completely elsewhere.

Letting go wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be. Jungkook’s mind liked to remind him of all that happened between him and Taehyung at the most ridiculous times. When he played basketball with his teammates; when he wanted to drink a cup of hot tea in the evening; when he went out to smoke on the balcony; when he took long hot showers. And especially when he tried to take a nap on the school’s patio.

Taehyung kept sitting on his infamous bench as if nothing had happened. As if he had already moved on. And if he was able to function properly, even though it was only a fake image, then why the hell Jungkook still couldn’t let go?

He hoped that maybe this date with Lisa would keep his mind busy. He tried to focus solely on the girl—she deserved the best treatment possible. Jungkook liked her and there was a possibility that if he went on liking her even more then maybe he would forget about the boy. JK could now care and worry about someone else. About someone who would do the same thing for him. About someone who liked him back. 

But even the nicest and the most promising time with Lisa wasn’t enough to make him forget. Maybe he should ask Jimin to punch him in the head hard enough to get him a soft concussion, resulting in temporary memory loss. It seemed like the best option possible.

“What's going on, Cookie?” Lisa asked sweetly. “You haven't even touched your coffee.”

Jungkook once again looked at his black and completely cold coffee. If he was careful enough he would be able to see his reflection on its surface. Considering how badly he felt inside he would rather not see himself right now.

“It's one of the best coffee shops in town,” the girl tried to cheer him up a little. “I told you to get something fancy! Just like me.”

But Jungkook’s coffee choice wasn’t a problem here. He wasn’t a fan of fancy specimens with lots of toppings like Lisa’s order. What he liked the most was a simple black coffee—it tasted the best and always gave him the energy boost he needed so badly. On any other day or in any other situation, he would have happily drank his order in one gulp, but somehow today he couldn't bring himself to do it.

“Ah… I'm not in the mood really,” he answered dismissively and put down his teaspoon.

“Not in the mood? Maybe there's something I can do to lift your spirits?”

“I'm not sure if—”

But before he could finish, Lisa stood up and sat down next to him. She did it so quickly that Jungkook didn't have time to move away. And he probably should have done so as the girl scooped uncomfortably close to him. She gently tilted her head to the side and flashed him her trademark sweet smile.

“I have quite a few tricks that always work.”

Lisa confidently and quite ostentatiously lowered her gaze from JK’s eyes to his lips. It was quite obvious what she had on her mind. In fact, from the very first meeting they had, it was only about that one thing. It was a miracle that the girl hadn't achieved her goal yet. 

Well, she wasn't the only one who wanted to try it. Jungkook would be lying to himself by insisting that he wasn't interested in her lips as well. He was tempted to know their taste each time he looked at them, but fortunately, he had some self-control.

“Don't you like to try?” she said seductively, still looking at his lips.

Jungkook bravely held on, still looking directly at her eyes. He knew that looking down at her lips meant losing in her flirtatious game. The space between them would cease to exist in a second and Lisa seemed to be waiting just for that. And while a part of Jungkook wanted it to happen as well, a large part of him knew it wasn't the right time or place for it. Something about it all wasn't right.

So Jungkook slowly gulped and refused as calmly as he could, “Maybe next time?”

Lisa narrowed her brows, half surprised and half dissatisfied with this answer. However, after a while her eyes suddenly lit up with hope as a playful smirk crept onto her lips. Jungkook already knew she had something in mind.

“Oh, so there will be next time?”

She used his words against him and Jungkook tried really hard not to roll his eyes—that wasn't what he meant. He liked the girl, he really did, but he couldn't decide yet whether they should go on another date. There was something there, pulling them to each other, and yet he felt that he shouldn't listen to these strange desires of his body. Because for now, it was the only tempting aspect of their relationship.

“I never kiss on first dates,” JK came up with a quick excuse before Lisa could catch him daydreaming. Of course, it wasn't enough to convince the girl who only shot him an unamused look.

“Come on. Do you even go on dates?”

Damn, she was right.

Jungkook wasn't the dating type and he definitely didn't need to go on a date with someone to kiss them. He liked kissing and he had never shied away from it; at least not in Atlanta. Back there he went on dates with only one person but after that… he didn’t really care about doing anything romantic.

Maybe that's why he wanted to go back to good traditions in Austin; be that honorable guy with a little more decency and morality. Ironically, Lisa didn't make it easy for him. With all her provoking behavior she only tempted the old Jungkook to take control once again. And that version would have probably made out with her several times already. If only that.

"Fair point," he murmured in agreement and averted his gaze, partially embarrassed to be called out like this.

Lisa looked as if she was waiting for him to add something more; to explain why he treated her differently. Of course, Jungkook wasn't overly eager to talk, mainly because he didn’t know exactly why he was behaving like this. He had his hunches but decided to keep them to himself. He wasn't going to lie either that’s why the safest option was to stay silent. 

When Lisa got tired of waiting she only sighed rather resignedly. She rested her elbow on the table and placed her head on it, and in this position, she watched Jungkook carefully. He could feel her gaze traveling across his entire face as if she was trying to remember as many details as possible. JK didn't know what he had done to deserve such admiration and at this point, he was kind of afraid to ask.

“Then just tell me,” she said dreamingly. “How it is to kiss with that lip piercing of yours? Doesn't it get in the way?”

Jungkook gently raised an eyebrow, slightly surprised by a similar question. It wasn't what he expected, but knowing the fairly open-minded and easy-going nature of the girl he could have predicted it. He knew Lisa would rather find out for herself than ask him about this feeling, but right now he could only give her a verbal answer.

“It's a little bit different. You just have to get used to it.” He shrugged. There wasn't any great philosophy behind it. “I got used to it.”

“How many kisses does it take to get used to it?” she asked playfully then quickly added trying to sound innocent, “For scientific purposes of course.”

Jungkook had to smile when the girl raised her hands in a defensive gesture. He knew she was only teasing him but he liked the way she could joke about it as well. Jungkook was glad she wasn't sulking the very first second he told her no. That's why he decided to reward her by answering.

“It depends.”

“Depends on people?”

“Depends on the type of kiss.”

Jungkook looked her directly in the eye and maybe that was a mistake. It only provoked her flirtatious persona as she scooped a little closer to him and gently stroked his arm with her fingertip.

“Now, Cookie, you got me interested. Do you still stand by your rule for first dates?”

She looked at him expressively, hoping that he might change his mind, but Jungkook had no intention of giving in. Not that there was a rule for the first dates—that was bullshit from the very beginning. But he couldn't tell Lisa that. Therefore, he immediately pursed his lips hard and looked away, focusing on his cold coffee.

“Why? It's just a kiss,” she insisted but JK wasn't about to give in.

Jungkook could feel her staring at him so he subconsciously begged her to let go of this topic. He thought it would take some more time to discourage her but fortunately, Lisa gave up quite quickly. Jungkook could only hear her sighing next to him. He had never heard a sigh so pretentious, though he heard a fair share of pretentious sighs from Jimin.

They sat like that in silence for a while until suddenly the blonde slammed her hand on the table and stood up. JK flinched a little, surprised by such behavior. He was sure she would be mad at him—she really wanted that kiss, but he didn’t expect her to react so emotionally. However, when their eyes met, the girl seemed satisfied, even eager to continue.

“Come on, let's get out of here,” she suggested and when JK looked at her rather confused, she added, “You won't be drinking it anyway.”

She pointed to the cup with his untouched coffee. Well, Lisa was right—he had no intention of praying over it any second longer. On the other hand, he didn't know if he was ready for whatever Lisa had prepared for him. Or if he even wanted to do it. Sitting inside the coffee shop was a rather safe option.

That's why he just raised an eyebrow, still unconvinced by her proposal, hoping that would make her clarify what she exactly meant.

“Let's go. I'll walk you home.”

“You will walk me home?” Jungkook wanted to make sure as it sounded quite ridiculous.

“Mhm. Usually, it should be the boy walking the girl home but your place is closer.”

Lisa lived in the suburbs of the city in a rather large villa. It would take about two hours to walk there from here, and it wouldn't be any faster by bus. His neighborhood wasn't the closest either, but if they wanted to spend some more time together, it was the perfect distance for a few more conversations. Jungkook was getting a little tired, but he probably had no choice other than to agree. 

He only hoped that the girl wouldn't try to force her way into his apartment—that would be an extremely awkward situation. But in the end, he decided to trust the girl not to do anything stupid, and as had nothing else to do this evening, he finally nodded in agreement.

They left the already crowded cafe and headed toward his apartment. Just as he thought, Lisa tried to ask him more questions typical for people who were just getting to know each other. He didn't mind it, but he answered all of them quite automatically. He felt as if he was working on an autopilot, not really aware of what was happening around him. Until the girl noticed one important thing.

“We should hurry up. Do you see these clouds? It might rain soon.”

She pointed to the sky and only then did Jungkook come to his senses. He looked up to see a lot of dark clouds gathering above the city. From the very first look, JK was more than sure that it would rain soon. He didn't check the weather forecast for the next few days; mainly to spare himself pain and a few understatements. 

He shouldn't care about the rain anymore, and yet when he saw what was happening in the sky, he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks with his gaze locked on the clouds. This image paralyzed him and he couldn't quite say why. Of course, it caught Lisa's attention. She took a moment to realize that Jungkook wasn’t walking right beside her and stayed behind.

"What's happening, Cookie?" she asked with a fake concern. “Don't tell me you're afraid of a little rain?”

She gave him a playful smile, but it didn't lighten the mood at all. JK quickly shook his head, pursed his lips, and lifted his chin higher to cover up his strange behavior.  

“I'm… I'm not,” he muttered, slightly offended by such an accusation.

He quickened his pace and passed Lisa before she could ask another question—serious or not, he had no intention of talking about the rain. It was all dangerously close to a topic he would rather forget. Which he was told to forget. He had to get rid of all the memories connected with rain so that they wouldn't come back to him each time it rained. Not even subconsciously.

“We could have been at your place by now if you had your motorcycle with you.”

Lisa bumped his shoulder to get his attention. Maybe for the better. If she hadn’t done it, Jungkook wouldn’t have noticed her speaking. Gosh, he really needed to calm down and focus on what was going on around him. It wasn’t the best moment to think about the past. Jungkook shook his head to clear his mind once more. He knew it would only help him for a few minutes but he had to try.

“I have only one helmet,” he replied automatically, though it sounded more like an excuse.

“Then maybe you should think of buying a second one,” she said confidently, then lowered her voice a little to the seductive whisper, “I'm still waiting for a ride.”

He hoped she meant a motorcycle ride and nothing more explicit. Although judging by her smirk, she probably meant both. JK would prefer not to go into some more intimate areas, so he replied immediately, directing the topic in the right direction.

“Ah, maybe I should. But! Just to let you know, Jimin has already booked the first ride.”

Jimin had been asking him for it the moment he learned JK had a motorcycle and of course, Jungkook promised to take him for a ride. Obviously, he needed a second helmet for that. He was a responsible driver who cared for the life and health of his passengers; especially his best friend. However, shopping for a new helmet wasn’t his priority lately. Maybe he should buy it for Jimin as compensation for all the stuff he put him through these past few weeks.

“Shit,” Lisa cursed under her breath. "It’s always Baby J who beats me up to the best things."

Hearing this strange nickname once again, Jungkook got even more curious than the first time he heard it. He had been wondering who and why came up with such a nickname, and why Lisa was the only one calling Jimin like that. He had to finally ask what it was all about. There could be no better moment to learn the story behind this ridiculous nickname for Jimin.

“Why do you call him like that? I mean… where did Baby J come from?”

Lisa narrowed her eyes and looked him over extremely carefully as if she was slightly skeptical about the request. Maybe she was trying to judge if it wasn’t a trap set by Jimin himself. Or maybe she was simply surprised that JK didn't know this story yet. And since the latter was the case, she decided to take advantage of it. She gave him her trademark smile again and took one rather small step closer to him.

“That's a secret you'd have to pay for.”

She glanced at his lips for a moment, and JK would have to be the dumbest person on Earth not to know what that payment was. It was quite a high price, especially when he didn’t know whether the story was worth it or not. It could be something golden or just a stupid misunderstanding, and knowing Jimin it could have been absolutely everything.

The last time he wanted to know something more, Jimin shut him down extremely fast. He pretended the girl had never called him like that and categorically forbade JK to use that nickname. It was a rather weird behavior indicating it must have been something big or highly embarrassing if Jimin was so reluctant to tell him the story. Apparently, Jungkook wasn't the only one with secrets he didn't want to share, even with his best friend.

Jungkook would rather know Jimin’s side of the story first before he talks with Lisa or anyone else. Ultimately, if the boy refused to talk with him and acted suspiciously once again, maybe then JK would take up the girl's offer. Maybe by that time, he would know what he really wanted from Lisa.

But now he just nudged her gently in the shoulder to stop her from acting all flirtatious and pointed in the direction they should go. His apartment was only a few minutes away.

Jungkook was still a bit afraid that the girl would try to force herself into his apartment, which is why he didn't want it to fall apart in the next few minutes. Then, out of politeness, he would have to invite her over so that she wouldn't get wet and freeze outside. In the end, they made it to the estate safely, without any drop of rain, and Lisa just called her dad, who came to pick her up.

Their goodbye was quite awkward. Fortunately, Lisa didn't try any tricks to kiss him and went for a friendly hug. It was the most innocent gesture she could choose; maybe that is why JK didn't mind it too much. He gently hugged her back, but after a few seconds, he realized that something didn't feel right about that hug. 

The person he held in his arms was much shorter than he remembered, more petite and delicate, and wasn’t shaking with emotion or deeply crying. She didn't smell like that soothing ocean breeze, and her hair wasn't slightly wavy or black. Everything was wrong.

Only then did he realize that he would rather hug someone completely different.

It made him move away from the girl as fast as possible. Just as if touching her could burn his skin. Lisa was a little surprised by this gesture, but JK quickly explained that her dad was already waiting in the car and that it would be a little bit embarrassing to be caught hugging in front of him. Surprisingly, the girl believed in his excuse, although she assured him there would be nothing wrong with this gesture. A kiss would have been much more scandalous, but luckily they didn't have to worry about that.

Jungkook was left alone. He should have gone upstairs to his apartment but he couldn’t force himself to do it. He stood in front of the building's entrance, trying to recover from everything that had happened till now. 

If he thought he had regained control over his life, he was sorely mistaken. The last hug only showed him how much he still thought about Taehyung and how he probably wouldn't stop thinking about him any time soon. He wasn't ready for any dates, relationships, or anything like that when he still couldn't get over Taehyung. No matter how much he wanted to try something with Lisa, it didn't make any sense at the moment.

He knew Taehyung for a little more than a month and it was almost impossible to get so attached to somebody in such a short time. Okay, some traumatic events could make people grow closer and JK believed it was what had happened between them as well. But still, they weren’t in any serious or romantic relationship, they officially weren’t even friends.

So why did Jungkook have such a huge problem with letting go of the boy? He felt as if he was mourning his late spouse of twenty years not a random guy from his high school. A person who did nothing to him but a nasty backstabbing.

How the fuck am I supposed to forget about him?

JK asked himself but the truth was he wanted to shout it out loud. Maybe then someone up there would give him an answer or magically make the problem disappear itself. Unfortunately, all the forces of the galaxy joined together to mock him again. Because the moment he looked up to the sky for an answer all he got in return was this damn rain.

It wasn't a big storm, but a rather lazy and irritating fall-season rain. The one with big raindrops, but not intense enough to get you seriously wet. The one with the wind blowing over a collar and straight into your face. That one treacherous rain that seemed so innocent and harmless at first, and yet after a few minutes outside, people regret not taking a thicker jacket or a better umbrella.

Jungkook could only stand under the small roof in front of the building's entrance and watch as more raindrops fell onto the sidewalk. All this in the same place where he and Taehyung once stood. He could see the boy in that damn oversized suit; an image that kept hunting him until this day. And that only made him think about Taehyung again. 

What was he doing now? Where was he? How did he feel? Jungkook had no clue how Taehyung had been doing this past week. He couldn't rely on the boy’s behavior at school because he knew that everything he did there was just outstanding acting. To find out what was really in his head, Jungkook had to wait for the rain, which only came today.

Although Jungkook hated the rain for all the harm it did to Taehyung, now he hoped it would be his ally for once. JK stuck to the promise he gave the boy that one night on his balcony. Taehyung could come over whenever it rained, at any time of the day or night, and Jungkook would wait for him in his apartment, ready to help and be there for the boy if he needed him. Since that declaration Taehyung showed up almost every time it rained and Jungkook deeply believed the boy would do just the same today.

That's why Jungkook waited. He stood in front of the building and looked carefully in all directions, hoping that Taehyung would eventually show up.

He didn't even know how long he stood there. He didn't mind that it was getting colder and darker and he surely needed a warmer jacket. He didn't mind his growling stomach, which suggested he should finally eat something. He didn't mind his tired legs, which were barely able to stand after all the walking he did with Lisa and waiting in front of the entrance today. Nothing bothered him because he was sure that Taehyung would finally come to him.

However, he had greatly misplaced his trust. It stopped raining and Jungkook spent three long hours outside waiting for Taehyung who had never shown up.

JK felt a weird sting in his heart. After all, he was so sure that the boy would be here. That he had finally come to his senses. That he realized he had made a mistake. That he understood he desperately needed some help. That he finally stopped fooling around. Yet, in the end, the only fool was Jungkook. He once again lost against Taehyung and the boy wasn't even here.

Ironically, when Jungkook tried to live a normal life, date others, not worry about Taehyung and his problems, there was something that kept his mind subconsciously set on the boy. On the other hand, when he wanted to focus on helping and understanding Taehyung at all costs, the boy shut him down the very first chance he had. Jungkook got caught somewhere in the middle and he couldn't find a way out.

Gosh, I must have already gone crazy, Jungkook thought as he couldn't explain his behavior in any other way. 

It was a miracle that he managed to fall asleep that night without any major problems. Before he went to bed, he just begged the heavens for the next day to come. He was already so fed up with everything that had happened today: this stupid date, the pointless waiting and worrying. He just needed a moment of peace; an empty head; no thoughts.

Fortunately, he was blessed with a few hours of peaceful sleep.

However, the next morning wasn’t just as easy for him as the night. He could already tell he was under the weather with a sore throat and a slightly runny nose; all because of staying out in the rain yesterday. He made himself a cup of lemon tea with some honey, hoping it would be enough to prevent any incoming flu.

Unfortunately, the weather wasn’t helping at all. It was foggy, and quite dark as clouds covered the entire sky. Jungkook was more than sure it would rain today, probably even more than yesterday. For a moment he wanted to check the hourly weather forecast, but he quickly gave up. It was enough that he went crazy yesterday. He didn't have time for that today. He had to start ignoring all that was connected with the rain. It shouldn't matter to him anymore.

He packed his bag and went to the gym. JK needed to occupy his mind with something other than the boy and there was no better solution for him than working out. He spent almost the entire day there, persistently avoiding replying to the million messages Jimin bombarded him with. The boy wanted to know the details of his date, but JK didn't want to talk about it. Nothing scandalous happened there; nothing that would satisfy Jimin's curiosity and gossipy nature. 

When he came back home he took a quick shower and threw himself on the bed once again. He buried his face into the fluffy pillow and lay like that for a few minutes until he heard that annoying sound. He turned to the side just to see a few lazy raindrops falling down the window glass. Ah, so that was it—another rain.

Jungkook closed his eyes and tried to ignore the sound but it wasn’t enough. Putting the pillow over his head wasn’t efficient either so he finally stood up and went to the kitchen. He hoped it would somehow help him but there was no way out. Wherever he went he could hear that annoying sound of rain tapping at the window glass—there was nowhere in his apartment he could hide. And the longer it rained the louder the sound was. At one point JK felt as if it was the only thing playing repetitively inside his head.

Stop. Being. Paranoid! he tried to calm himself down but to no avail. It’s just rain! It’s just—

Or maybe it wasn’t just rain? There must be something to it if now not only Taehyung but also JK got so affected by this damn thing. JK wanted to understand what was so frightening about the rain, so much so that the boy ran away from it whenever he could. Why Taehyung was so afraid of it? And why despite it being one of his biggest fears, he still decided to go to that one place on the bridge even during the heaviest rainstorms.

Jungkook needed some answers. That was why even though just yesterday he spent three long hours waiting outside, he put on his shoes and left his apartment in a hurry.

He went out in front of the building and stood in the middle of the small patio, letting the rain pour down on him. He felt the drops of cold rain slowly soaking his hair and clothes until they finally started flowing down his temples. They got on his eyelids and into his mouth, but Jungkook had no intention of getting rid of them. He wanted to become one with the rain—it was the only way to find an answer.

Jungkook stood there for a good few minutes and he still couldn't figure it out. He was getting colder with every passing minute to the point his hands got almost numb. Any sane person would have gone home at this point but as JK wasn’t feeling right as of lately. Besides coming back home meant coming back to this awful tapping sound. He preferred much more to get wet than to be paranoid in his apartment. So that’s why he kept standing in that damn rain.

He looked around carefully to check if someone was approaching in the distance. Knowing that most likely all his elderly neighbors had been home for a long time in this weather, he expected only one person to come here. Of course, he had to be delusional to hope that Taehyung would show up. Not when it had been raining for almost an hour already and the boy always came even before the first raindrop would touch the ground. Besides, if Taehyung decided not to come yesterday, why would he show up now?

Jungkook was left alone in this case.

JK kicked one of the puddles on the sidewalk with his shoe, splashing water all around him. Ugh, this whole situation was so frustrating! He had to get some answers. Something to ease his mind a little. And then he realized there was one more place he could go to in search of an answer. He knew it was risky to go there in such conditions but it might be the only way to solve this case.

You must have gone crazy for real if you want to go there right now, his mind wanted to warn him but unfortunately it was his heart that was pulling the strings at the moment. So he ignored all the warning signs and jogged down the sidewalk to get to that damn bridge.

He was confident and determined all the way there but the moment he took the first step on the bridge he realized it might have been one of the most dangerous decisions in his life. Everything seemed to be exactly as it was on that faithful day: cold pouring rain clouding his vision, a few cars passing occasionally with no other soul walking by, ghastly dense fog over the river, and a slippery railing glowing under the dim light of the streetlamp.

Jungkook stood at a safe distance from the edge as he could recall that horrific memory with all the smallest details. He could point to the exact place where Taehyung grabbed the railing, the place where they were struggling on the sidewalk, the place where they sat in the puddle. JK felt as if he had once again lost his breath running here; as if Taehyung’s wrists were once again slipping away from his grip in the rain; as if he was once again holding the boy’s limping body in his hands.

Jungkook had to blink a few times to make sure it was just a memory. That he was the only person at the bridge right now. That it wasn’t happening in front of him. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to go through it the second time. As it turned out the bridge accident wasn’t traumatic only for Taehyung. It left a painful scar on Jungkook as well.

He took a deep breath and carefully stepped forward to stand in the exact same place as Taehyung did. He looked over the railing but the view wasn’t appealing at all. The only thing he saw in front of him was the dark depths of the misty river; a strange and scary space hidden somewhere beneath its surface. Only extremely desperate people would dare to jump into such a soulless void. Well, the view from the 14th floor at 67 Linden Avenue in Atlanta wasn’t any better, although probably equally terrifying.

Jungkook reached out and placed his hand on top of the wet railing. His fingers were tracing the cold steal structure in search of answers but there was nothing they could find.

Still, he stood there for a minute, and then for another minute, and another, and in the end, he couldn’t really tell for how long had he been standing here. He felt like he was in a kind of trance. Or maybe it was the place that got him hypnotized like that?

Whatever it was he only wasted his time coming here. Because if there were no answers on the bridge, then there was only one place they could be hidden in. Unfortunately, that one place was guarded better than any museum, casino, or bank. Taehyung made sure to keep all the answers safe somewhere deep inside his head and he was the only person able to access them.

That’s why Jungkook suddenly got so angry. Angry at all of this. Angry at the universe for playing him like that. Angry at Taehyung for closing on him and making him feel all these weird things. And finally angry at himself for failing to understand or letting go.

“Agh, fuck it!” JK shouted as he couldn't stand it any longer.

With all the strength he had left, he kicked the railing and slammed his hand on top of it. He would love to destroy it; make sure that this hellish place disappears together with all the memories. He was so determined to do it so much so that even the cold rain couldn't calm him down. So he kept hitting the railing although he knew he couldn’t do any real damage. He just needed to let out his frustration and this horrible feeling of helplessness.

“Jungkook?”

He heard his name and immediately froze halfway through hitting the railing. The rain was roaring around him, making a lot of noise, but he had no doubt whose voice he heard. It was the low, incredibly masculine yet velvety one that was living rent-free in Jungkook’s mind. He would recognize it at any time of the day or night, as a whisper or a loud scream.

That's why JK got terrified when he heard this voice right behind him; in a place where he didn’t want to hear it ever again. Jungkook turned quickly to make sure, but there could be no mistake. It was Taehyung who called his name.  

The boy stood no more than a few steps away and stared at Jungkook intently with his large eyes. He was completely soaked in rain; his black hair stuck to his forehead, just like his beige shirt stuck to his body. His lips were purple and he went almost pale as he was slightly shaking, probably because of the cold. He took uneven breaths as if he was running a moment ago. Or maybe it just was his way to calm down.

Jungkook wondered how long he stood here. It seemed like Taehyung had been observing him for a while but couldn’t find an opportune moment to approach him. Well, all Jungkook has been doing these past few minutes was mindlessly punching the railing. No wonder the boy got startled.

However, the more important question was why Taehyung even came here. It was raining cats and dogs and the boy didn’t get any jacket or umbrella with him. It looked a bit as if he had left his apartment quite spontaneously, on impulse, with one clear purpose and no intentions of coming back home.

And if Taehyung came to the bridge in these specific circumstances, there could be only one reason for it. 

Jungkook’s mind was still clouded but he knew what he had to do—he couldn’t let the boy try it again. He immediately took two steps toward Taehyung and firmly placed his hand on his elbow as if he wanted to push him even further away from the railing. 

Only when Jungkook touched him did it finally dawn on him: Taehyung was here, standing just in front of him. It wasn’t a strange illusion, a trick his tired and cruel mind decided to play on him, a memory that kept haunting him these past few weeks. It was happening for real. Taehyung was real.

Although he always considered all of these mind tricks an unbearable torture, he would rather have some crazy hallucinations right now than actually meet the boy on the bridge.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jungkook squeezed his elbow tighter. Partially to make the boy answer faster and partially to have control over him if he wanted to try something stupid.

At the same time, he moved Taehyung away from the railing once again. It was two or three steps to the back but it could be crucial in the future. Jungkook was a little paranoid but he knew how badly such details could matter. With Taehyung, he needed to be extra careful. Fortunately, the boy took a step to the side as Jungkook had instructed him.

“Taehyung, why are you here?” he repeated nervously.

He had to fight the urge to shake the boy; he wanted to hear the answer right here, right now. If the first time he asked this question he was more in shock, trying to make sense of what was happening around him, then this time he was definitely furious at this whole situation. JK got angry at the boy for fooling him once again. For coming here even though he promised him he wouldn’t do it.

Jungkook felt a painful twinge in his heart. This couldn't be happening once again.

He cast Taehyung a pleading look, almost begging him to say it wasn't the reason he came here. Anything but that. The words he was about to say got caught in his throat as he barely said, “Don't… don't tell me that…”

“I was looking for you.”

Much to his surprise, Taehyung seemed to be confident in his words. His voice didn't crack; it was calmer than usual although still full of emotion. The boy kept looking directly into Jungkook’s eyes; something that wasn't possible the last time they saw each other. His black eyes carefully followed JK's every move, making sure not to miss any tiny detail. Jungkook could still see a great fear inside them, but it was different from the one he experienced previously. Something had changed.

“I was looking for you,” Taehyung repeated when Jungkook was still silent. “I wanted to call but… I went out to see you in person. You weren't at home and anywhere around so I thought that maybe… you went here.”

Only then did Jungkook notice that the boy wasn't wearing the ill-fated white shirt, or the oversized jacket or pants; the ones he wore every time he came to the bridge for this one purpose. Nor was there the same determination and helplessness in his eyes that he found there that evening. Taehyung wasn’t fighting with him, obediently moving back each time Jungkook pushed him away from the railing. Nothing was the same except the rain, flowing down his face.

Maybe Taehyung was telling the truth? Maybe he came here because he was looking for him? Jungkook didn't take his phone with him, so even if the boy wanted to contact him, he had no way of doing so. JK left the apartment as soon as it started raining, and since yesterday Taehyung didn’t show up, he didn't expect his visit today.

But maybe he should have waited for the boy. If he had stayed at home Taehyung wouldn’t have run around the neighborhood looking for him in the rain. And he most certainly wouldn’t have come to this damn bridge in such conditions. Jungkook got sick when he realized it was all his fault.

What the fuck have you done, Jungkook?!

Jungkook came to his senses quite quickly but it wasn’t enough to suppress the great guilt squeezing his stomach. They had to get out of there as quickly as possible. Preferably before Taehyung would connect painful memories and thoughts with what was happening now. JK wouldn't forgive himself if he were the reason why all the previous traumas returned to the boy right now.

“You shouldn't be here.”

“No, no it's—”

“Stop with that already and get out of the bridge!”

Still holding Taehyung’s elbow, he tried to force him to take a step back, or better, guide him toward the other side of the bridge. Except Taehyung had no intention of going anywhere. He struggled a little with Jungkook, trying to tame his chaotic movements. But there was no way in the world Jungkook would back up right now.   

“Jungkook, it's fine.”

“Don't you dare—”

“It's really fine.

“You can't be here right now. Not when—"

“It's fine because I finally found you.”

Only these words made them stop struggling for a moment. Jungkook froze in one place, though he still held the boy's elbow—just in case. He tried to understand the meaning behind these words and the only person who could explain them in detail was Taehyung. The boy looked at him with pleading eyes, as if he was asking JK to let him finish his thoughts and stop forcing him to get off the bridge for a while.

It wasn't easy, but Jungkook let go for a moment. He did it only because he saw something in the boy's eyes that wasn't there before. Something that could be there only when he spoke with the real Taehyung. And if it was that side of the boy he was talking to, then he had to let him speak his heart. There could be no better time for it.

“You see I'm all shaking right now.” He raised his other hand a little to show how badly it was shaking. “And… and it's not because I'm cold. I'm just… this place… the rain… ahh…. It’s hard to b-be here.”

Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut, trying to calm himself down. Just as Jungkook thought, it couldn't have been easy for Taehyung to come back here. Even if he was looking for JK, he shouldn't have taken the risk—finding Jungkook wasn't worth it. 

That's why when Jungkook noticed the boy started to stutter and get emotional, lost in the memories, he wanted to act and take a step forward. However, Taehyung stood firm in one place and did not allow him to make this gesture.

“But… I knew the moment I find you here everything will be fine.”

Taehyung gently placed his hand on Jungkook's—the same hand which kept holding him by the elbow. This gesture made JK relax a little, enough to make Taehyung grab his wrist tightly. His touch seemed to be desperate. Just as if by clinging to Jungkook’s hand he wanted to make sure he was standing in front of him. As if Jungkook was his anchor and support in this difficult moment.

“As long as you are here with me I won't do anything stupid. You won't let me do anything stupid.”

Taehyung said it with so much confidence yet with so much pain in his voice that Jungkook no longer knew how to act. He could feel his knees going soft and he wasn't sure for how long he would be able to stand still and hold on for both of them.

“All… all I had in my mind lately are those stupid thoughts and… I-I don't know how to get rid of them… but you… you always knew what to do… that’s why I went looking for you… e-even in the rain because I-I… really trust you and… I think I need you to—”

Jungkook didn't even let him finish. He immediately pulled Taehyung closer and hugged him tightly. At first, the boy seemed puzzled by such a gesture, but a moment later he finally understood what had happened. And when he realized he was once again in Jungkook's arms, he immediately hugged him back. Taehyung squeezed him so tightly that Jungkook had to take a step back so as not to fall under his pressure.

The hug felt as if it was the last moment they shared in this life; as if it was the last time they would see each other. Ironically, it was only the beginning. Jungkook placed his hand on the boy's back and rubbed it gently. He let the other hand wander across Taehyung’s head playing with his beautiful wet locks. Oh, how he missed it.

Jungkook didn’t hesitate to hug the boy because he wanted to show him that despite the rejection, he didn't hold a grudge against him. That he still wanted to help Taehyung, no matter how confusing the call for help might be. And he didn’t have to wait for Taehyung to finish his thoughts. There was no need for excuses, chaotic explanations, or blurry words. JK didn’t care about all of them. It was enough for him to hear that Taehyung needed him.

It felt good knowing that he was so important to Taehyung. That he was that example the boy kept talking about. That he still trusted him so much, enough to come to the bridge during the rain and be sure that he was safe from all those ghastly thoughts just because Jungkook was beside him. Taehyung was right. He most definitely wouldn't let the boy do anything stupid. Especially not now when the most tragic vision was still hanging somewhere in the rainy air.

Of course, deep inside Jungkook was still angry at Taehyung for rejecting him in such a strange and inexplicable way. For lying and doing everything opposite to what they agreed on. For making his past week so damn hurtful. That anger and frustration were probably the reasons why JC acted so petty lately and subconsciously did things that would get the boy's attention; like that weird undressing show at the patio or maybe even the date with Lisa itself. This whole pretending that he went back to his normal life, that he was completely fine. 

The truth was that he wasn't fine at all. And he wasn’t the only one feeling like this.

Neither of them could think straight this past week. JK simply wanted to understand what was going on in Taehyung's head and to figure out what was in his own as well. However, these two stories were strongly intertwined, so much so they needed each other to solve this case together. And that was exactly why they met again at this hellish bridge.

They stood in the rain for a little longer. Jungkook continued to gently stroke the boy's hair as he rested his head on his shoulder. Although he could hold Taehyung like that forever, Jungkook pushed away slightly and asked with a pleading voice.

“For the love of God, just tell me what happened.”

He knew he was asking for a lot. He knew Taehyung wanted some more time to think it through before he could share his story. And he knew the boy probably wasn’t ready to share it when he decided to keep it to himself despite all the promises he made to Jungkook. But JK also knew it was the only way to free Taehyung from the hell he found himself in. To free them both from everything that had been happening lately.

Taehyung lifted his head to look at him, and Jungkook didn't know if his eyes were wet from the rain or if he was crying again. Whatever it was, it looked truly heartbreaking. That's why JK wanted them to have an honest talk for once. He was fed up with seeing the boy so hurt. He was fed up with being hurt as well.

The boy took a deep breath, although it didn't come easily to him. He stopped midway and coughed as if he wasn't fully in control of his body. Taehyung gulped a little but in the end, he just nodded shyly. Jungkook didn't quite believe it at first, but when Taehyung nodded once again and started looking around for the best way back, JK took it as some type of declaration.

That's why he immediately grabbed the boy's hand. He made sure his fingers were locked tightly in between Taehyung’s icy ones and only then did he rush toward his apartment. He could feel Taehyung squeezing his hand tighter as if he didn't want to ever let go of it. It was such a warm feeling.

And although Jungkook was practically shivering with cold, feeling the damn icy rain flowing down his shirt, he could feel an incomparably pleasing heat coming from Taehyung's hand. It wasn't there the last time he held it. Maybe it was a reason why Jungkook believed it could only get better from now on.

Chapter Text

Jungkook waited for the water to boil as he persistently stared at this damn kettle. He wanted to drink something hot as soon as possible because he was all shivering from the cold. He was so stupid not to take any jacket with him the moment he left the apartment. He was more than sure he’d be ill the very next morning.

But it wasn’t Jungkook who was the most important right now. He glanced over the countertop to make sure Taehyung wasn’t doing anything stupid. Fortunately, the boy just stood in the middle of the living room and stared at the window. Well, it wasn’t a promising view—Jungkook would rather see him already seated on his destined chair in the kitchen, but in such circumstances just having him in the apartment was a huge success.

One thing that worried Jungkook, apart from the overall bad mental state Taehyung was in, was his completely soaked clothes. He could follow each raindrop that was lazily strolling down his neck and down behind the collar of his beige shirt. Each time one of them disappeared behind the wet material Jungkook got twice as much colder. To the point, he couldn’t stand it any longer.

He left the kitchen and rushed to the bathroom to get a towel. He used one to vigorously wipe his hair and hands—there was no time for a shower; no matter how badly JK wanted to hop under the hot water. He simply grabbed another fresh towel for Taehyung and came back to the living room. By that time the water still wasn’t boiling but there was also one person missing—Taehyung suddenly disappeared.

Jungkook panicked a little but there was no way possible that Taehyung left his apartment. The boy’s shoes were still in the hall and JK simply couldn’t believe he would back up right now. Not after everything he told him on the bridge. That’s why he calmly looked around the apartment in search of the boy. 

It didn’t take long—all JK had to do was enter his bedroom. Although if he wasn’t careful enough he would miss the boy sitting in the corner of his room. Taehyung was curled up in a ball, the same way he did it on his bed, and somehow he managed to squeeze between the nightstand and the window. There was room for exactly one person, though Jungkook had never thought anyone would try to hide there. If only Taehyung moved the curtain a little, he would have surely disappeared.

Jungkook sighed gloomily; it wasn’t the best start to this conversation. Taehyung’s behavior was quite concerning. It looked as if he was deeply ashamed of something though Jungkook still didn’t know what it was. JK wanted to know but he had to be mindful of his actions, especially now when every word could have a meaning.

That is why he calmly approached the boy. He stood over him and handed him the towel but Taehyung didn’t seem to notice. His gaze was still locked on the window, even though in a semi-darkness around them there wasn’t a lot to see there. Only when Jungkook sighed quietly, did Taehyung look away and turn to his side.

The good thing was that the boy wasn’t crying. But the bad thing was that Jungkook had never seen so much pain in his eyes.

Jungkook offered him the towel once again and fortunately, this time Taehyung accepted the gift. He grabbed the towel but wasn’t eager to use it at all. He held it in his hands indifferently, although at some point he began to squeeze it tighter than necessary.

JK wasn’t about to force him to use it so instead, he slowly sat on the floor, pulling his legs close to his chest and leaning against the bed frame. In this way, he got as close to the boy as possible, so that their tucked knees brushed against each other. When Jungkook wondered if he should give him some more personal space, Taehyung said with a trembling voice.

“Agh… I-I don't even know where to start.” 

He sounded lost and that was exactly how he looked like. With his hand tightly wrapped around the towel, violet lips pursed down, and trembling body trying to catch a steady breath but to no avail. Despite this pitiful image, there was a certain determination in his voice suggesting that this time he would share the story. It looked a little as if his body was afraid and wanted to run away while his mind had a set goal and didn’t want to give up on it.

Jungkook couldn’t let the body win this fight, which is why he wanted to create the most calm and relaxed atmosphere possible. The one in which Taehyung would be the most comfortable. So he gently placed his hand on the boy's knee in a reassuring gesture.

“Start from the beginning,” JK said softly to encourage him. “And tell me as much as you want me to know. Even if it's not much. We have time. I'm not going anywhere.”

It was Taehyung’s moment and JK would sit beside him as long as it was needed. What mattered was the boy’s confession. It didn’t have to be much but Jungkook wanted to hear anything that would make him understand Taehyung better and find the right way to help him.

That’s why seeing Taehyung slowly nodding was so promising. The boy sat up a little more comfortably but he was still curled up into a small ball. He let the towel fall on the floor as he pressed his hands together tightly, so much so his knuckles and fingers turned white. He probably tried to gather some more strength even though it looked like he didn’t have any of it within him.

Taehyung gulped a little before he took a deep but shaky breath and finally spoke up.

“Have you… have you ever had a role model?” he asked. “You know a person you admired, a person you wanted to be like in the future, a hero?”

Jungkook was surprised by this question. It wasn't what he expected to hear first but then again he didn't have to think long about his answer. He had never had a role model, so he simply shook his head.

“You see, my father used to be my hero. He was everything I've always wanted to be. He was well-respected; people around him loved him for his kindness, knowledge, and amazing looks. He had always been fair and as the CEO of one of the textile companies he knew his way around people. How he behaved, how he spoke, how he looked even. I wanted to be just like him.”

“I still remember how I stole his best ties from the closet and tried to look like a true businessman. My mom took some shots of an adorable seven-year-old me in a way-too-long tie. It used to be my favorite photo. Always pinned on the special place on the fridge.”

Even if his voice was quite distant and almost emotionless, the tips of his lips gently moved upwards, creating a shy smile. It was like he was remembering one of the happiest and most endearing memories of his childhood. Well, it sounded just like that. Even Jungkook could imagine how adorable Taehyung looked as a kid wearing his father's clothes.

“Those were the good times. I felt loved even though my parents were really busy back then. My father being the CEO and my mom being his secretary. That's how they met by the way. It was an office affair that led to a happy marriage. Like something out of the rom-com movies and dramas that people like to watch so much. An ideal family. They were so in love.”

Taehyung stared at one point on the floor just as if he was trying to bring back the image of the happy family. However, the moment he used the word ideal, Jungkook knew there must have been something more to that story. And so to confirm his fears, Taehyung blurted out just a second later, “Or so everyone thought.” 

JK knew the story would not have a happy ending, that there must be something tragic about it, yet the feeling he just got now was simply horrible. He was about to witness all that went wrong in the boy’s life and if JK wasn’t fully prepared to hear it then it surely was even harder for Taehyung to talk about it; to relive all those bad memories.

After all, it all came down to the family and there were no stronger traumas than those suffered by children. Jungkook assumed it might have been Taehyung’s problem as well and now he was more than sure he was right. He knew how shitty of a feeling was to be ignored by your family. Maybe that is why Taehyung’s story felt more personal.

“I remember that one day very clearly,” Taehyung continued with his gaze locked on his hands. “It all happened two days before my eighth birthday. Mom was the first one to come back home. She seemed uneasy, something in her behavior was odd. She was trembling and crying and I had never seen her like that. Never. I wanted to comfort her somehow but my father blasted through the doors before I could even reach her.”

“He has always been the ideal father for me, right? So to see him angry like that was really terrifying. He was fuming and they immediately started fighting, shouting, and screaming. It was the very first argument I saw between them and they were so loud and violent and… and I cried a lot back then but… nobody cared.”

Taehyung squeezed his hands even tighter, the same for his eyes. He tried to get rid of the memory but nothing really helped; apparently that one day left a scar on his heart far greater than any other event. However, a moment later the boy slowly opened his eyes. It seemed like he overcame that momentary weakness just to continue with the story.

“They were fighting for some time until suddenly my father slammed the front door and left.” Taehyung waited for a while before he added almost inaudibly, “Little did I know it was the last time I saw my father.”

Oh, so the argument was even bigger than Jungkook imagined; it was over ten years since Taehyung last saw his father. Well, Jungkook knew what it was like to grow up without a dad, although it was a bit easier for him. JK didn't know who this man was, he had no one to miss, no one to look back on. Not like Taehyung who just admitted that his father used to be his greatest hero. It must have been such a tragic experience for a small child. Jungkook couldn't even imagine what he felt at that moment.

“I didn't know what happened between them and nobody wanted to tell me. I was confused as to why he wasn’t coming home, why my mom acted so numb all the days and refused to look at me with the same affection she used to. Why was I ignored? Why did they treat me as if I wasn’t here? Why did nobody care about me?”

His words sounded like accusations as if he was still trying to understand what had happened back then, trying to find some answers, a reason he could blame this all things on.

"I-I… felt so lonely. They never left me alone for so long. All I knew was their love and suddenly there was none of it. Just me and myself in an empty house."

Taehyung hugged his legs closer to him and slightly lowered his head, turning into an even smaller human ball. If something could depict how loneliness looked like it was surely Taehyung’s image right now. But what was the most devastating thing was that this horrible feeling was with the boy not only at that time but probably accompanied him for the rest of his present life.

“It was my grandma who finally comforted me and tried to explain what had actually happened. Thinking about it now, it was quite brave of her to try to explain to a scared and lonely eight-year-old kid how his loving family was no more.”

Jungkook felt a little bit better knowing there was somebody there to help Taehyung. Just by looking at the picture of the elderly woman above Taehyung’s desk, he could tell he was a wise person able to help her grandson in the most challenging times.

“My father… wasn't the person everybody thought he was,” Taehyung said with a heavy heart. “All he had created and all he was admired for was… fake. At home, he played the role of a loving husband, caring father, and respected CEO, but as soon as he stepped outside his apartment he showed his true colors. My hero was actually a villain.”

“His company turned out to be a huge fraud. He lost all the money, had a lot of debts, huge debts on his name, and some unresolved embezzlement cases to be investigated. Police and prosecutors were ready to step in any given day to finish his illegal actions. They dig up all his previous defraudations. As it turned out he had quite a colorful past.”

“Of course, it wasn’t his first company. He had a few of them in the past, including the one here in Austin. Well, the company wasn’t the only thing he had in Austin. Jin… Jin is his son from the first marriage. A happy marriage he had until he decided to move away just not to get caught by the police. He left his wife and son to travel across the country to pursue his business career and the perfect life he imagined for himself. He… left them… the same way he left me and my mom a few years later.”

This would explain the story of two brothers who grew up on opposite sides of the country, basically unaware of each other's existence; why was there such a big age gap between them, and why they never felt like real brothers. All they had in common was their father whom both of them resented much. Now the bits of the story Taehyung told him over a few photographs in the living room made sense; about how Austin was Jin’s city while he grew up in Portland.

My god, this family is so messed up, JK thought, though he was aware it probably wasn’t the messiest thing about this story.   

“I heard he tried his luck in Seattle for a few years until he came to Portland and met my mom. Of course, he failed to tell her about his past. Is she had known before maybe then…”

Taehyung couldn’t force himself to finish this sentence as he was probably wondering what would have happened if he could change the past. Hearing how much of a dick his father was, Jungkook would like to find a time machine just to punch him in the face. Maybe it was the same thing that was on Taehyung’s mind as well, as he suddenly got angry.

“All he did was fake his way into a good business. He was an excellent liar, telling people what they wanted to hear until he got all the things he desired. That’s how he became a CEO so fast and how he managed to deceive my mom for so long. About the company, all the documents she signed for him, about his previous life, or about the other women he had. Apparently, my mom wasn't the only office affair he had.”

That wasn’t much of a surprise for Jungkook to hear. If he left his family once, a few affairs in the office shouldn’t come as a huge surprise—once a cheater always a cheater.

“Sometimes… Sometimes I believe he must have had no conscience to do all these things. To be so… selfish.”

Jungkook already knew the answer to that question. That man was not only soulless but also cruel. It still amazed Jungkook that such people even existed. The man ruined not only Taehyung’s childhood but he must have messed up a huge part of Jin’s life as well. JK wondered how different it was for the older brother. Was he also so traumatized?

That was something Jungkook would certainly like to ask about one day but now it was all about Taehyung and his story. That is why he focused on the boy whose voice was getting weaker and weaker with each spoken word. It only meant there was something more to that story.

“I’m not sure if he had ever loved her or me. I think he just wanted to create a perfect image so it would be easier to fool everyone around him. The day of the argument my mom found out about everything and wanted to confront him. But in the response, he just put the blame on her. I remember clearly the one thing he said just before he left. If only you pretended just as I do all the time, you wouldn't get hurt. You ruined our perfect word yourself. "

The fact that the boy still remembered those words after so many years didn't bode well at all. And unfortunately, these words reminded Jungkook of a certain behavior he witnessed every day at school. It was as if Taehyung couldn't get them out of his head and made it his goal to live according to such philosophy—a very bad philosophy. However, Jungkook had no intention of interrupting him at this point. He needed to hear more if he was to draw any conclusions.

“The next few months were hard. My mom had to deal with a lot of trials in court regarding the company and divorce. She got depressed. She barely spoke to anyone, she just sat on the couch and gazed into the walls. She didn't eat, she didn't sleep. She seemed like a ghost. And I was also a ghost to her. She acted as if I was nonexistent. She couldn't look at me and again I didn't know why she treated me like that.”

“It wasn't easy for me either. I thought it was my fault. That everything was because of me. Why would my own mother not look at me if it wasn't my fault? I just wanted to be comforted by my mom. I tried to apologize for whatever I did wrong but she never listened to me. It hurt, it really did. And unfortunately, I no longer could find comfort in my grandma, as she passed away quite unexpectedly back then.”

“It was probably the worst day of my life. Because the next thing I knew I was left alone. My father was gone, my mother completely closed on me and my grandma was no longer with me. The forever loving family was gone.”

Jungkook could feel his heart sink a little when the boy finished this sentence. He truly was left alone at such a young age. No surprise he was kind of used to being lonely for so long, though nobody should be okay with being lonely like that. Unfortunately, back then, Taehyung had no one to tell him it wasn’t okay to feel like this.  

“I lived with my mom but it felt as if I was living alone. We never spoke unless it was absolutely necessary. I wanted to know why she rejected me so much and one day she finally came clear. You know why she couldn't look at me?”

Taehyung looked at Jungkook as if he wanted him to answer. His dark eyes were a little hazy but no tears were gathering in their corners. The boy was surprisingly calm which only made JK more confused about the answer. He only clenched his jaw and kept staring into Taehyung’s eyes, preparing for his next words. However, there was nothing that could prepare him for such a heartbreak.  

“Because I looked just like my father,” Taehyung said so confidently as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “I was a spitting image of the person who hurt her the most. A proof that part of her life was completely fake; that a person she loved so much was in fact fake. She just couldn't take it.”

“Gosh,” Jungkook couldn't help but sigh. It was too much to take, even for him. He knew how painful a rejection could be, especially if it came from the person who should love you the most. Still, hearing such a hurtful reason behind it, made it even harder to accept.

“She told me that if I look just like him, I'll probably end up just the same. With the same horrible, traitorous persona, hurting others for my own sake,” Taehyung continued as if he wasn't really bothered by this confession. Probably living with such a belief made him indifferent or worse—made him believe his mother was right.

“And since that day she kept repeating it every time she saw me. She wasn't hiding it anymore. After hearing it so many times I finally believed it was true. She’s my mom. She knew my father, she knew me so… She… she couldn’t be wrong, can she? I have the same looks and the same genes. I’m destined to be just like him. It all fits, right? Even the fact I saw him as a hero for so long.”  

That was what Jungkook feared the most. Even the stupidest lie told a thousand times became the truth—that was exactly what happened here. Telling the boy such stupidity from a young age only made him naively believe in such a thing; believe in something completely untrue. How was it possible to become a bad person just because of your genes or looks? It didn’t work like this. If so catching criminals would be much easier. Couldn’t Taehyung see it?

Jungkook wanted to intervene but there was no use to do it now. If Taehyung had been clueless for such a long time, he wouldn’t have changed his mind in a second just because Jungkook said so. But it was so hard to just sit there and listen to all of it, seeing that great fear that suddenly came back to Taehyung’s eyes.

“But I didn’t want to be like him… I-I couldn’t be like him. The things he had done… I just… There had to be a way to… prevent it, ” he stopped, trying to steady his breath and continued only when he was sure he was able to speak properly.

“So I-I… I decided I had to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to create the perfect persona, someone who my father failed to be in the end. I promised myself I would be different. I will not fail. I will not let these terrible features show up. Maybe if I was perfect, they would never show up.”

“I saw how deeply my father hurt other people. I know how deeply he hurt my mom, my brother, and me. I know what a horrible feeling it was. I don’t… don’t want others to feel it as well. So to think I can hurt someone like that… That there is a side of me able to do it so coldheartedly… That it can be awakened one day and ruin the lives of everyone around me…  I can’t…. I can’t let it happen.”

“That’s why I don’t want others to know me. That’s why I have no close friends, no people around me, because… I-I’m afraid I will hurt them. And I would rather die than see them suffer the way I did because of me.”

Jungkook sat there but he felt as if somebody just kicked him in the chest. To be honest, it would be less painful than hearing what the boy went through. JK felt more and more paralyzed with each following word. Now he understood why Taehyung was so reluctant to open up about his past; why was it so difficult to share it even with the best specialists out there. The story was personal beyond comparison, no wonder the boy didn’t want to share it with a stranger but with a person who would understand him at least partially.

And even though Jungkook believed he could be the one who would understand, he had never expected such a devastating reason for why they met at the bridge for the first time.

Now this great image that the boy had created made a little more sense. He wanted to be the walking perfection to hide that other side of him he was so afraid to be. He did everything just not to let others down, not hurt them, or make them question his behavior. Maybe he also hoped people would not try to befriend him; well, nobody really liked the teachers’ favorite or the ones better than others. Unfortunately, with Taehyung’s looks, it worked in a rather opposite way.

That's why Taehyung was so sure that Jungkook wouldn't like the other side of him—the one hidden somewhere deep inside. That's why he was unable to accept himself the way he was. That’s why he hated the love yourself philosophy and was irritated by everything related to it. That’s why he was so confused if he should ask for help or not.

Damn, it all made sense. Everything Taehyung had done since they met each other made sense. It was all consistent with what he believed in and with what his mother had unconsciously instilled into his head. She let him believe he would become a monster like his father instead of teaching him how not to. It was so wrong on so many levels that Jungkook didn't understand how it could have possibly happened. The only monster here was his mother, not the boy.

And to think Taehyung was alone through all his life. He was so afraid of letting people close to him, only because he didn't want to hurt them. He preferred to suffer in silence than cause pain to others. It must have been such a difficult and lonely life. How did he endure it for so many years? It was physically impossible. And why he thought it was all okay? That it was the only solution. The only way to live.

Jungkook looked at the boy trying to find the answer even before Taehyung continued his story. But it wasn’t as easy as it would seem. All he could think of was how the boy had been mistreated his whole life and how hard it would be to teach him the right way of living; the less painful one. JK would do anything to see the boy live a happy life for once, without reminiscing the past, without being trapped in painful memories and childhood traumas. On the other hand, he knew Taehyung was getting closer to the events on the bridge in his story and that was probably the most heartbreaking part.  

“Three years ago I came across an article on the Internet,” Taehyung continued; surprisingly his voice seemed to be calmer than before. “It was about a man who finally met his justice. Needless to say, it was about my father. He became quite famous for all his scams. The police finally closed the case of a compulsive cheater and financial swindler. They listed all his companies and the millions of dollars he defrauded over the years. Finally, it all came to an end when they found his body floating in the river in Austin.”

Just a mention of that event made Jungkook weary and highly alerted. The story was going in a dark direction but it was a part that they had to talk over as well if they wanted to come to any conclusions.

“You may ask how it feels to find out your father is dead from a stupid Internet article. Well, it is a one-of-a-kind feeling.”

As soon as Taehyung said it Jungkook felt a cold shiver going down his spine.

“Regardless of how it felt it gave me an idea. A certain solution that wasn’t in my head before. There was one more option available if creating the perfect persona wouldn’t be enough.”

That was a moment in which Taehyung started to have those stupid suicidal thoughts; the moment he started planning this whole thing. It made Jungkook sick to his stomach knowing it had been going on for over three years. He wondered what would have happened if Taehyung had never come across this article. Would he have stayed in Portland? Would he have still thought about this solution? Or would he have found a different one?

“So I’ve done everything to move to Austin. I managed to reach out to Jin through this article. We talked a lot and he was fascinated by a possible meeting of two long-lost brothers. Well, it probably was his therapist's side taking over him, to analyze such a rarity happening. Maybe that is why he agreed to take me in. No one sane would allow a complete stranger, a second son of your damned father, to live with you under one roof. I still don’t know how he convinced Yun to do it but the next thing I know I was sitting in a plane to Austin.”

“My mother didn’t try to keep me with her. Actually, she seemed happy that I would no longer bother her. It was probably the first time since the divorce she looked genuinely happy about something. It only ensured me I was doing the right thing.”

“And it really felt like that. It was easier to start from the beginning, in a city where no one knew me or my family. I adapted quickly and people around me believed in my creation of walking perfection. Nobody got too close to me, not even Jin who was overworked most of the time. It was all… perfect.

The way Taehyung said it sounded as if he was proud of his finest creation, the best achievement in his life. His eyes were a little bigger as he raised his chin a little higher.

“I told you once that I lived a life where no one would try to stop me from jumping off that bridge and no one would really miss me once I did it. To do it in a way no one would be hurt by my actions. And I managed to master that. Master being mister perfection for everybody around, even if during nights I wished I was somebody else. It was tiring, but I got used to living with myself or what I called myself.”

He paused for a moment, seeming to hesitate again, but this time even more so. Jungkook saw how tightly he clenched his hands as if that one thing was the hardest to say of it all. Taehyung gulped a little and gathered some courage to finally look up and lock his gaze exactly on Jungkook.

“But then you came.”

Jungkook didn't expect to be involved in that part of the boy’s story, maybe that was why he was unable to act in any rational way. He could feel his heart stopping which allowed Taehyung to continue.

“You were new and you didn’t fit into any social standards at this school. I didn’t feel well back then. I was wavering, considering my… options, torn between going to the bridge or waiting for another rain. And all it took for you to see the other me was one damn conversation at the party. Instead of seeing the perfect me I tried so hard to create, you saw the one I tried to hide from others. You could see all my flaws so easily that I was afraid they'd become visible to others. That I'm starting to be the person I didn't want to be. That it had already happened.”

He must have been referring to their meeting on the roof and their conversation on the school patio. The one when he listed all his flaws and left him with his pack of cigarettes thrown at his feet. This messy conversation only made Jungkook furious at the world’s injustice while it might have been crucial for Taehyung and his way of seeing himself.

Jungkook’s heart had already stopped but now he could feel an invisible hand squeezing it even harder; especially when he saw how Taehyung’s eyes became watery once again as he continued with a teary voice.

“I thought… I thought it would be better to stop it before it gets worse. Before I can hurt someone for real. I realized that all the pretending I had done was nothing else than lying a deceiving others… Almost the same way my father did it. It… it was all coming back to me. And if… if I-I became just like my father, the only… the only reasonable solution was to… to finish it just the way h-he did.”

The boy paused for a moment and that was enough for Jungkook to understand what he meant. He was silent through all his story but he felt it was finally a moment to speak up. He had a feeling that if he didn’t do it right now, Taehyung wouldn’t say anything more.

“Did he…” he started but somehow was unable to finish. It was too tragic to say at loud even though Jungkook had already known the answer.

“At the very same spot,” Taehyung whispered so quietly that it was barely audible.

“The clothes were his, right?”

JK allowed himself to make another assumption and this time he was more than sure he was right. He knew from the very beginning that the too-big jacket and too-long pants did not belong to the boy. And the fact that he chose the same outfit twice only confirmed it. That's why he wasn't surprised when a moment later Taehyung just nodded.

And maybe the memory of the clothes, of the place, and of what he wanted to do that night made him too weak to hold on any second longer. He squeezed his eyes tight and simply cried out. He stopped controlling himself, pretending he was strong enough to go through it all without a meltdown. It was enough he managed to go that far without a single tear.

“You saved the w-wrong person, Jungkook,” he cried out loud, his words barely recognizable. “I am destined to be s-such a b-bad person… such a b-bad person.”

Taehyung buried his head in his hands as if he wanted to hide from the world; as if he wanted to disappear. He cried mercilessly; Jungkook had never seen anyone in such a state. If despair could be a person, it would be the one sitting just beside him.

Watching the boy cry had never been easy for Jungkook, but this time he felt his heart break more and more with each sob. JK couldn't stand the fact that the boy tormented himself so much, that he didn't want to be himself or the person he had been told he would become. That he was equally afraid of that persona. Suddenly all those desperate pleas at the bridge to let him jump made sense. 

But the thought that Taehyung believed he was not worth saving hurt Jungkook the most. 

He couldn't let Taehyung think like that. He had to stop it; all this crying and despair. Jungkook could feel some tears gathering in the corner of his eyes and he couldn’t allow himself to cry just now. He knew if Taehyung continued to cry so much there would be no way back and JK would break down as well.

That’s why Jungkook quickly wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand before he gently put it on Taehyung’s fingers. He slowly grabbed and removed them from the boy's face. It forced Taehyung to slightly open the shell he had curled into so now JK could see the inside he was hiding so much. His eyes were red and his face was wet and snotty, as he was trying to catch his breath. Of course, in vain.

“Please stop it,” Jungkook said softly. He knew that one sentence wouldn't solve the problem, but he had to say it. “You're not a bad person.”

His words made Taehyung look at him with his watery eyes. Jungkook was more than sure all that the boy could see was a blurry spot in the shape of Jungkook. Maybe that is why it took him a while to realize it was in fact Jungkook trying to calm him down. He quickly removed his hands and used them to vigorously rub his face. He wanted to bring himself to some decent state. He took a few deep but shaky breaths but he seemed ready to continue.

“I am a bad person… I-I really am. I used to hate you s-so… so much, you don't even know.”

If this confession was supposed to somehow stop Jungkook's attempts to calm him down, then it definitely succeeded. The raven-haired boy froze momentarily waiting for the next words. He wanted to know where the hatred came from but to be honest he expected to hear it at one point today. Taehyung had already mentioned it while they were standing in front of his apartment building.

“I hated you, not because you stopped me that day, but because you took away the right to decide about my future.”

Taehyung sniffled and looked Jungkook dead in the eye, making sure he understood the meaning behind his words.

“It would have been way easier if you'd just let me jump. Instead, you got involuntarily involved. You were more concerned and engaged than I thought you would be. A-and… if I really didn't want to hurt anybody, jumping from that bridge was no longer available because… it would h-hurt… you.”

If the boy truly didn't intend to hurt anyone with his actions, if he didn't want to make others suffer, he couldn't choose that path. He couldn’t choose the second option; the one which seemed to be his emergency exit he could opt for at any time. Or so he thought he could do until he ran into Jungkook.

“You… you said you didn't want to live on knowing you couldn't save me and… That's why I couldn't do it the second time I tried and why I won't be able to do it ever again.”

Now Jungkook understood why Taehyung was so angry at him when he showed up at his apartment for the second time. Why he couldn’t finish that one thing he wanted to do and why he blamed it all on Jungkook. Even his accusation of selfishly saving him at the bridge made sense. Because when Jungkook thought he was saving Taehyung’s life, he was in fact condemning him to live in a completely different way. The way he simply didn't have the strength for anymore.

“So because that option wasn't available anymore I knew I had to continue with my life trying to be even more perfect than before. Even though I was so tired from all this bullshit I knew it was the only way. I had to adapt and accept it. That's why I asked you to help me find something meaningful in my life. Because if now I'm bound to stay, maybe it's good to have something that would make this life a little more bearable.”

“You thought that it was my passion for designs and fashion and for a while I believed in it as well,” he paused for a moment, but Jungkook knew this couldn't be the end. “Only after that had I realized it was actually you who made my life a little more bearable.”

Their eyes met for a moment and Jungkook saw something like admiration in Taehyung's gaze. He didn't expect such a confession at all, nor did he expect this look full of hope and affection. He knew Taehyung saw him as a great example but he wasn’t aware how strong of an influence he had on the boy.

“All that time I spent in your apartment and your presence I finally felt as if I were a normal human, with normal interactions, feelings, desires, and history. I didn't have to pretend and somehow you liked me even without my mask on, which I didn't know was even possible. You still cared for me even though I wasn't perfect. For once in my life I wasn't lonely. And it felt nice. It really felt nice.”

Taehyung smiled faintly as if he was recalling one of the best memories of his life. And maybe in fact sharing the apartment with Jungkook during one of the evenings was one of these memories. Even though none of them was anything special; it was only sitting in front of the TV, studying in silence or crying with a few occasional hugs, it seemed to be enough for the boy.

For someone who spent half of his life alone, without letting others too close to him, even the smallest interactions could have been precious. He had no one who cared about him and his well-being, so even such small gestures by Jungkook must have been a sign of great concern in his eyes. In a sense, that's what they were.

Jungkook was glad that his behavior made Taehyung look at himself and his situation from a different angle. He tasted something that was only wishful thinking for him or maybe not even that. Taehyung might have never dreamed about it, because he had already decided that such affection and closeness with someone was not meant for him. It was a rather tragic yet quite possible vision.

It seemed like during one of those visits Taehyung finally realized that what he believed in wasn't normal. That staying away from people wasn’t a solution to his problem. That he needed help. That he wanted to change something in his life. Then why did he refuse that help in the end? Why did he hesitate for a moment?

JK waited for an answer because he knew Taehyung would explain it as well. And he didn't have to wait long because the boy dropped that dreamy half-smile and looked down in great embarrassment. His longing gaze turned into the one full of shame and regret, and he suddenly shook his head.

“But… it shouldn't feel nice,” Taehyung said firmly. “That's what I realized that morning at my place. I saw how dependent on you I’ve become; how attached I was. And if I felt that way, it must have been similar for you. I… I couldn't let you feel attached as well, because I knew what could happen after.”

“What… what you wanted to do for me that evening… you were so eager to hurt yourself by opening up just to help me. I-I couldn't allow that. I couldn’t let you get hurt because of me… and then… then you told me you’re already hurt and… a-and it was all my… my fault… I-I…”

Jungkook could easily recall the pure terror he saw in Taehyung’s eyes the moment he said he was already hurt. Now that panic attack was more than understandable—his biggest fear just materialized in front of him. JK regretted using those words but he had no clue they would be so meaningful for the boy. He just expressed his feelings at that moment hoping it would help to get Taehyung back to Earth. As it turned out he was doing the complete opposite.

He was angry at Taehyung for rejecting him but he could no longer blame him for doing so. JK begged the boy for one good reason for his behavior and he just got the answer. Taehyung preferred to suffer alone instead of accidentally hurting Jungkook even more. It was the way he used to do it all his life. No wonder he decided to follow this pattern once more.   

"I'm sorry I've pushed you away but… at that time it felt like… like the right thing to do," Taehyung said with a shaky voice, “Because the closer… the closer you are to me, the easier it is for me to hurt you… and… I-I… I don't w-want to h-hurt you."

He barely managed to say the last words as he eventually started crying again. These words came straight from his heart and made JK forget how to breathe for a moment. They touched a part of his heart he never knew he had.

Jungkook no longer could watch the distraught boy, especially now when JK was the reason for his tears—he couldn't let Taehyung cry because of him. He immediately put his hand over the boy and pulled him a little closer. He hoped it would make Taehyung rest his head on his shoulder and find some comfort in what seemed like a never-ending crying session.

However, Taehyung was reluctant to do it as he kept his head up and tried to manage all the new tears strolling down his cheeks. It looked a little as if he was still afraid to hurt Jungkook; if even the smallest touch between them could hurt him. Jungkook scooped even closer, hoping it would change the boy’s mind but when it didn’t help either, he finally spoke up. 

“Hey, Taehyung, look at me. It’s… it’s okay. People hurt and get hurt. No matter how perfect you are, you can't escape it. It's inevitable.”

“N-no… no, but… but what if… I-I hurt y-you…” Taehyung cried out once more, trying to get out of his embrace, but Jungkook couldn't let him do that.  

“There's only one way you can truly hurt me and I think you already said you won't do it.”

All the things Jungkook thought were hurtful for him; sleepless nights, endless worrying, an empty stomach, and tons of smoked cigarettes were just minor inconveniences in comparison with what Taehyung tried to do on the bridge. Nothing could compare to what he would feel if the boy decided to jump. So Taehyung should stop worrying about hurting him because there wasn’t a way in which he could do it. Even if he really wanted to.

Hearing these words, Taehyung calmed down a little and raised his head to look at Jungkook. However, it wasn't an easy task when some of his wet hair got stuck to his forehead. JK reached out and removed it without any hesitation, making sure he also got rid of a few tears gathered on the boy's cheeks. Now where there were no distractions, Jungkook focused on Taehyung’s big watery eyes. He wanted the boy to remember and understand correctly what he was about to say.

“Please start living for yourself, not for others. And I'll help you with that, okay? We'll find a way to be you. Not a walking perfection, not your father, not a person your mom thinks you are, or the person you're supposedly destined to be. Just you—Kim Taehyung.”

All Jungkook wanted was to find a way in which Taehyung could finally stop pretending and start living without any obligations or assumptions about his life. So that he could do what he wanted to do, what his heart desired to do, without worrying how it would affect others. 
So he could dare to dream for once. So he could live like any other person, like any other teenager. So he could be selfish for a moment. So he could finally smile the way Jungkook wanted to see him smile. So he could be happy.  

“I-I don't know how…”

“Then we will find how. Together. Okay?”

Seeing that Taehyung tried to avert his gaze and run away from his words, Jungkook squeezed his shoulder even tighter in a reassuring gesture. Fortunately, it made the boy look at him once again. It took him a while to understand the promise Jungkook just made but in the end, he nodded in tiny, still staring deep into his eyes. Jungkook started to believe he wanted to find something inside them but he couldn’t tell for what was he so desperately looking for.

Not until Taehyung muttered, “Why… why would you do it for me?”

Jungkook smiled gently—the answer was pretty simple.

“Because from now on I'm voluntarily involved.”

He could no longer claim that he was helping the boy just because he was crossing the bridge at that one fatal moment; because he was the only person who knew about his problems. Not because he had been dragged into this whole mess by accident without asking whether he wanted it. Not because he needed to get rid of that responsibility hanging on his shoulders.

Jungkook was no longer involuntarily involved. He wanted to help him. In fact, there was nothing he wanted more than to see Taehyung smile again.

And that statement only made Taehyung cry even more. Maybe because he finally understood he had someone who cared for him, who cared about his fate and well-being. Somebody who would be by his side so he would never feel lonely again. All of these without him trying to pretend to be someone else. Or maybe Taehyung couldn't cope with the certain debt he owed Jungkook? Because how can you pay off something like that? How to put a price on saving someone’s life and be so eager to help them get back on track?

It was definitely too much for Taehyung. He leaned forward and put his whole body weight on Jungkook sitting in front of him. Taehyung’s hands quickly found his waist and hugged it as tightly as he could. JK leaned against the bed frame to support them both. Taehyung lunged at him with such force that if he hadn't done so, he would surely have lost his balance and both of them would have landed on the floor.

JK sat a little more comfortably and made sure the boy felt comfortable in his arms as well. He let Taehyung rest his head somewhere slightly above his stomach and steadied it with his hand. He did it not only to have the boy as close as possible; to show him they were in this mess together; to underline he wasn’t going anywhere unless they found a rational solution. Jungkook also wanted to have Taehyung’s curly hair all to himself once again. 

He played with his black locks winding them on his fingers or gently putting them behind his ear. They were still pretty much wet, maybe that is why they seemed to be even darker than usual. Jungkook much preferred them when they were dry and soft and had that amazing soothing see-breeze scent. Now they only smelled like dirty rain.  

Jungkook knew playing with the boy's hair was a way to calm them both down, which is why he was so willing to do so. He didn’t know for how long he did it but it didn’t matter. He could sit like this forever if it meant Taehyung would feel a little bit better.

He stopped only when he felt the boy slightly shaking; partly because of all the messy emotions and partly because of the cold. They were still both wet from the persistent rain that they went out to this afternoon. And while Jungkook managed to dry himself a little before he came to the room, the towel he brought for Taehyung was still lying unused on the floor. The boy was soaked and his body seemed to have finally given up.

His hands gripping his waist tightly were getting colder, as were the boy's cheeks, which JK touched from time to time when his fingers gently combed his hair. The lips lost their beautiful, natural color, giving way to a cold and dark shade of purple. And when Jungkook felt another chill running through the boy's body, he had to react.

"You're trembling," JK whispered and took the boy's head into his hands trying to unglue him from his waist. "You should change to something dry."

Jungkook wanted to get up to go to the closet, but the boy immediately prevented him from doing so. His hand landed heavily on Jungkook's hip and didn't let him go.

"I don't want to."

The way he refused was even cute, so much so that Jungkook had to smile. Maybe in different circumstances, he would have listened to the boy and stayed cuddled like this but now Taehyung’s health was way more important. They had to make sure his body was healthy first if they wanted to cure his aching mind and soul.

“I know you don't want to but you'll get ill otherwise.” Jungkook reached for the towel that was still on the floor and threw it over the boy's shoulders. “Take a shower and I'll make us some tea, okay?”

He hoped that this would convince him, but even such gentle assurances seemed useless because Taehyung didn't move an inch. The only movement Jungkook felt was that cold shiver going down his body again. Jungkook sighed because he knew there was no point in fighting with the boy right now, so he decided to compromise. He gently adjusted himself and sat up straight, then grabbed the towel hanging over the boy's shoulders and began to gently dry his hair. Since Taehyung didn't care about his health, he had to take care of it himself.

Although, JK didn't have to wait long for a reaction. Taehyung started to squirm a little before he slowly got up. He sat down across from Jungkook, making sure he would leave almost no space between them. He raised his hand up and gently placed it on Jungkook's, suggesting that he could handle the towel himself. His hands were very cold, so JK didn't want to let go, but one particularly affectionate look from the boy made Jungkook decide to trust him.

Taehyung started drying his hair in tiny pieces, doing it slowly and carefully, strand by strand, looking like a lost child—a very cute child.

But wasn't he just a lost child? Trapped in the fake ideology inculcated in him by his mom throughout his childhood. Caught in an irrational fear that accompanied him whatever he did; in all the sacrifices he had done for the sake of some greater good that never really existed. The thing that the grown-up Taehyung still strongly believed in his destiny, even when he no longer lived with his mother. Even when he shared the same apartment with a certified and respected therapist, he still treated Jin’s words as the unbearable gibberish of a self-love ideologist.

All of this because of the person who should love him the most. Jungkook didn’t understand how parents could treat their children like this. Why so many families were so messed up? And why out of so many people they were both the ones who lost in a happy family lottery?

“You must think I'm weird,” Taehyung suddenly muttered, almost shivering with his ice-cold lips.

Only then did Jungkook find himself staring at the boy. The image was one of a kind, yet he felt embarrassed to be caught like that. That is why he quickly focused on Taehyung’s words.

“You're not weird.”

JK didn't like this word—being weird was a rather subjective call. Everyone had their quirks and was weird to others in some way. Jungkook couldn't blame the boy for acting the way he did when no one showed him that he could live differently. What Taehyung went through wasn't weird at all. It was just wrong.

The boy furrowed his brows, confused with Jungkook’s answer. He thought for a moment before he asked shyly, “Then… what am I?”

Taehyung stopped drying his hair for a second, leaving the towel on his head. It looked like he had an extra lock of white hair maybe that is why this goofy image made Jungkook smile softly. JK knew it wasn’t the time to get dreamy about the boy’s irresistible beauty but there was no escape from it. The thing that Taehyung wasn’t even aware of his charm made him twice as attractive.

Jungkook couldn’t get any more distracted so he reached out with his hand and pulled the towel off the boy's head. And with this gesture, neither of them looked away. Taehyung because he was still waiting for the answer, and Jungkook because he couldn't ignore that lost look hidden in the boy’s eyes.

"I think you're just lost," he whispered softly. “You need some guidance, someone who will show you there are other ways to live, other ways to achieve happiness, other ways to be yourself, to be fine with yourself, to love yourself. And in some time you'll see the difference. You have to trust the process, trust people around you, and finally trust yourself.”

Because that's what it was all about—a little trust. Trust that everything will finally be okay one day. 

Taehyung needed someone who would guide him since his family did not provide him with the security, right values, or selfless love that should surround him. He had to find a replacement and ironically sometimes completely unrelated people made a better family than those with stupid blood ties. Jungkook knew something about it himself, maybe that's why he felt so obliged to find such a step-family for the boy.  

“But… How can I trust myself? I-I can't…”

He didn't know what to say, but Jungkook understood why he got so confused once again. From the very beginning of their relationship the boy had no trust in himself and knowing his story now Jungkook wasn’t even surprised Taehyung felt that way. But it was high time for some changes. JK grabbed the boy by his shoulders as quickly as possible, somehow forcing him to look at him.

“And how have you become so good in the history of art? Or in any subject really? How did you master all the drawings and designs? By learning, right? So here you have to do the same. Learn.”

It wasn't an easy thing for Taehyung to do, but Jungkook knew it was the only way. Some things just had to be learned. Sometimes it was just some stupid math formulas and sometimes it was self-love and trust.

“I know you want to change something. I can see it in you,” JK continued, squeezing the boy's arms tighter. “I could see it already when you asked me to go with you to therapy. That was the right step. The right decision. So please, stick to it.”

Despite all the great confessions Taehyung made today he had to do it once again, this time in the presence of someone qualified to help him professionally. Jungkook felt that convincing Taehyung to go on another visit would be slightly easier now but they could talk about it some other time. All JK needed right now was for the boy to understand that was the right thing to do.

However, Taehyung still didn’t seem to be convinced, so Jungkook had to remind him why they met here in the first place.

“Then why did you come to me today? Would you share it with me if you didn't want to change something, huh?”

There must have been something inside the boy that made him leave his apartment in the heavy rain just to see Jungkook. Something that even forced him to go back to that bridge and not for the same purpose he used to go there before. If there was a reason why Taehyung rejected him that morning, there had to be a reason why the boy decided to tell him the story just now. 

These words clearly changed Taehyung's attitude. He shyly glanced at Jungkook before looking down once again. He pursed his lips and didn’t seem convinced for a second until he finally sighed heavily. It only confirmed there was another complicated confession hidden behind it.

And things truly got a little more serious when Taehyung grabbed Jungkook's wrists and slowly pushed them away from his shoulders. JK didn't know why he got rejected like that, again, but much to his surprise, the boy didn't let go of his hands completely. He simply held them in front of him and stared at them curiously as he was locking his fingers around his wrists. Jungkook let him play with his hands—anything so the boy wouldn’t let go of them.

“After I pushed you back… I thought I could make it on my own the way I did it my whole life,” Taehyung started, his voice weak once again. “These past few days I was doing fine, you seem to be fine as well. Everything seemed to be fine.”

Just a mention of this past week, when they both pretended they meant nothing to each other,  made Jungkook sick to his stomach. He felt stupid for everything he had done back then. For how he tried to be the cool and social Jungkook, living his best life as a basketball star. Doing this weird show at the patio, going on a date with Lisa—all of that just to prove himself he was fine when in fact he wasn’t.

Apparently, neither of them was.  

“But yesterday… yesterday it started raining again,” Taehyung continued. His eyes were squeezed tightly as if was trying to simultaneously remember and forget a particular memory. 

“Since that day, it was the first rain I had to face up alone. It was… one of the hardest ones for me. I-I completely forgot how to do it, how to cope, how to breathe, how to… survive. My room suddenly felt really small and empty and I was on the verge of suffocating there. I felt… so… so bad.”

Jungkook could feel a lot of pain in his voice. He couldn't even imagine what the boy had to go through in such loneliness. After all, whenever Taehyung was in his apartment when it rained he never suffered in any physical way. He just sat on the couch, studied in the kitchen, or cried from time to time. JK didn’t know what he used to do when he was alone in his room. One thing was sure: it must have been so fucking lonely in this ghastly villa.

“The raindrops on my window only made me remember all the time I spent hiding at your place. How every time I was here, I've never really thought about the rain. It seemed to disappear in your presence. With you it was way easier to… to survive, to let go of the pain, to clear my mind somehow.”

Taehyung finally managed to look at Jungkook as he recalled memories from their time together. His gaze was somehow more hopeful than before. As if those memories were so dear and valuable to him, so much so they could soothe him in a way.

“It felt like I was no longer able to do it alone in my room. You made me miss these little moments we shared. Maybe for you, they felt natural, they were normal things you would do for your friends or anybody in my position. But for a person like me, who never received so… so much care, they were somehow special. Even the… the simplest touch.”

He lowered his gaze for a moment to look at his hands, which were still tightly holding Jungkook's wrists. He let his fingers run free caressing Jungkook’s skin as if he wanted to remember its every inch. There was so much longing and fascination in this touch—it was truly a one-of-a-kind feeling. And Jungkook didn’t even mind his fingers being so cold.

“I… I don't even remember when was the last time somebody hugged me,” Taehyung whispered as he grabbed his wrists a little tighter.

Wow, it was even worse than Jungkook thought. It only confirmed how lonely a life Taehyung must have led all these years. It’s hard to believe he managed to survive for so long without some innocent and platonic acts of love. He had no clue how normal relationships worked; how important such closure was. No wonder things that seemed natural to Jungkook were so important and fascinating to Taehyung.

That's why JK gently turned the boy's grip on his hands so that now they were basically holding each other's wrists. He slowly ran his thumb over his cold skin, giving Taehyung that one thing he needed so desperately. Seeing how the boy reacted to this tiny gesture made Jungkook appreciate every hug he had ever received in his life.   

“I realized you might be right,” Taehyung admitted shily. “That… that I won't make it alone. That I can't make it alone. And… a-and I don’t want to do it alone.”

Jungkook got a pleasing warm feeling inside his heart. It meant Taehyung didn’t want to hide and run away anymore. He wanted somebody to help him and that was the right thing to do in his case. It would surely take some more time for Taehyung to understand his situation but he had to start somewhere.

JK was proud it happened because of him; because he was persistent in showing Taehyung affection each time he visited him. All the small gestures turned out to be quite big ones in Taehyung’s eyes. Jungkook showed him what normal relationships or friendships looked like and once the boy tasted such life he no longer could come back to what he believed was a standard. Jungkook understood the importance of his actions and he was glad he convinced Taehyung to visit him each time it rained. As it turned out it was one of the most important declarations of his life.

He wanted to say something; reassure Taehyung, tell him he was doing the right thing. But suddenly he felt the grip on his wrist tightening. At first, Jungkook looked at their tangled hands, and only after did he look up to lock his gaze on Taehyung. There was something more on his mind bothering him mercilessly. It looked as if he wanted to add a few words more but couldn’t find the courage to do so.

Jungkook didn’t rush him. He just waited patiently because he believed the boy would not keep it to himself; especially not now when he already confessed so much. And just as he thought his patience was greatly rewarded.  

“You see… I was afraid of us being attached because I didn't want to hurt you. I still… still don't want to hurt you but… but… Here I am. Sitting in front of you. Pretty much attached. Attached to how I feel when I'm beside you. Attached to these moments in my life when I no longer feel pain.”

Jungkook just stared at Taehyung in awe—these were some of the most beautiful words he had heard. They were so hopeful. It meant the boy wanted to pursue happiness in some way, that he wanted to find it in small things, fleeting moments, or even in Jungkook’s presence—the latest one being the most heartwarming for Jungkook of course.

JK was flatter but he couldn’t be distracted by such a confession—it wasn’t really about him. It was all about those moments of happiness. Jungkook didn’t care whether these moments would happen beside him, in his apartment, at school, or in any other place on Earth. He just wanted Taehyung to find more and more things in his life, moments that would give him that long-lost feeling of being happy.

“I want you to feel attached to these moments as long as you can,” Jungkook said firmly, slightly shaking their still-tangled hands. He wanted Taehyung to remember these words.

Taehyung bit his lower lip as if he was ashamed that he could even feel this way; as if following his dreams in search of happiness was something forbidden, something illegal. Jungkook had to do something about it, that’s why he started to free his hands from Taehyung’s grip. Of course, the boy didn’t want to let go of him which resulted in a light struggle between them. A struggle which Jungkook won easily and the moment he had his hands free, he simply hugged the boy.

It was the most natural hug they shared. Despite them both being freezing cold it felt almost warm to hold his body in his arms. Taehyung put one of his hands over his arm and the other one on his back, which allowed him to rest his chin on Jungkook’s shoulder. JK could feel the shallow breaths on his neck and hear quiet sobs in his left ear. He felt even the smallest shiver going down his body and each beat of his aching heart.

Yet somehow such a hug was so comforting. So much so that they both almost forgot about all the wrongdoings of the world.

“It will get better. I promise,” Jungkook whispered and hugged the boy even closer.

Jungkook wasn’t a specialist; he couldn’t professionally help the boy, or provide him with the most efficient treatment and counseling. But he would do anything to help Taehyung find these little moments of happiness. He needed to find some for himself so maybe it would be easier if they looked for them together.

Chapter Text

Jungkook woke up and couldn’t really tell what was the reason for it. Was it because of the bright rays of the morning sun that came through the window and disturbed his sleep? Or was it because of the horrible headache that almost made his head explode in excruciating pain? Jungkook could bet it was the latter one; his sinuses were loaded and he was more than sure he had a light fever.

He growled in pain as he stood up from the couch. Last night he decided to stay in the living room instead of disturbing Taehyung in the bedroom; the boy deserved some blissful sleep. Taehyung fell asleep in no time at all. Jungkook gave up convincing him to take a shower but he managed to give the boy some dry clothes to change into. He left Taehyung in the bedroom to give him some privacy and went to the kitchen to make him a cup of tea. He had to find a way to warm him up a little as the boy was still shaking from the cold when they were hugging.

However, when he came back to the room, Taehyung was lying in the bed, covered by the sheets. Just as JK expected, his wet clothes laid on the floor, neatly folded, despite being completely soaked. And when Jungkook approached the boy it turned out he was already asleep. He must have been exhausted after all that confessions and wandering in the rain. No wonder his body gave up so quickly.

The only thing Jungkook was worried about were the boy’s lips—they still had that freezing cold shade of blue. He put the tea cup on the nightstand (just in case the boy wanted to drink something at night) and took the end of the duvet to cover Taehyung properly; enough so the boy didn’t catch a cold. JK tucked the duvet almost right under his chin and he couldn't help but brush one of the boy's strands behind his ear. His hair was still wet.

For a moment Jungkook stared at his pale face. It seemed like Taehyung finally regained some peace. Not only because he was asleep; it was more as if he had finally found some peace within himself. Maybe it wasn’t the ideal state as of yet, but Taehyung clearly got rid of some burden that had been weighing on him for so long.

It was such a promising view. That is why JK left Taehyung in his undisturbed peace for the rest of the night.

And he hoped it all stayed like this until now. Jungkook glanced briefly at the clock just to confirm it was almost eleven o’clock. That was probably the longest sleep he had lately. Actually, he could bet it was the same for Taehyung (assuming he was still asleep of course). The sun was shining outside and JK already knew it was about to be a rather hot day. Maybe for the better. He had had enough of the rain.

Jungkook put some bitter medicine into his glass of water and drank it in one go. He hated its taste but it was pretty much needed if he wanted to survive this day without getting even more ill. Ah, and the headache. He had to do something about it as well. There was no way he could function with that pulsating pain.

But first of all, he had to check his bedroom. He gently pressed the handle and slowly opened the door. Taehyung was sleeping peacefully in his bed, this time facing the entrance. His cheeks turned into an equally cute and healthy shade of pink as his lips were no longer blue. That meant the boy wasn’t cold at night and probably didn’t catch a cold just like JK did.

Taehyung looked so innocent in his sleep and Jungkook didn't have the heart to wake him up. He discreetly took a clean T-shirt from his closet and closed the door behind him. He decided he'd take another shower, hoping it might stave off the cold he was currently suffering from. Apart from the bitter medicine it was his only hope.

Jungkook didn't like long showers but this time this whole ritual took him over half an hour. The hot stream of water washing over his aching body felt like a long-lost remedy; he felt so good and he didn’t want it to end.

He already felt better as he came back to the living room with a towel on his head. He went straight to the kitchen already going through all the ideas for the healthy and tasty breakfast. Something that would lift his but especially Taehyung’s spirits. Luckily, he was quite an amazing cook. He knew what he had to do.

But before he grabbed the frying pan, he heard one of the notifications on his phone. He glanced at the screen of his mobile which was lying on the countertop. He left it there before he went to take a shower and only now did he notice a lot of notifications as well as several missed messages from Jimin. He completely forgot that the blond tried to contact him yesterday. He didn't feel like talking back then—he had much more important things to do.

He hurriedly unlocked his phone, trying to figure out what happened. He read the first insignificant messages curiously as Jimin wasn’t overly happy with JK not responding. With every next message, Jimin’s worries began to grow which resulted in a few missed calls from this morning. But they weren’t what frightened Jungkook the most. It was the last text Jimin sent him a few minutes ago.

Gukkie, r u home?

Jungkook immediately turned pale, but before he could dial the blond's number, he heard the doorbell. The loud sound only made his worst nightmares come true.

“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath and ran to the door in complete panic.

He had to stop it before the loud ringing noise could wake Taehyung up. He took two deep breaths to calm his racing heartbeat and grabbed the door handle. Until the last moment, he hoped that maybe it was his neighbor but he was more than sure he would see Jimin the second he opened the door.

And that would be a disaster. He didn’t want Jimin and Taehyung to meet under such awkward circumstances, which is why getting rid of the blond was JK’s priority. Unfortunately, Jungkook also knew how hard of a task it would really be.

When the bell rang once again JK quickly opened the door just to stand face-to-face with an irritated Jimin. The boy greeted him with a pretentious eye-roll and before Jungkook could stop him, he pushed past his shoulder and confidently walked inside.

“Finally!” he said sarcastically and removed his shoes before stepping inside the living room. “I thought something had happened. You haven't been answering my calls and messages since yesterday. And you never keep me holding on like that.”

Jimin kept complaining but in the end, he sat on the couch, making himself comfortable. His expression, however, spoke for itself—he was beyond disappointed. It only meant that it would not end with a simple scold. JK should prepare himself for hours of nagging and cursing just for ignoring his best friend these past two days.

But Jimin was kind of right. If only Jungkook had replied to one of the messages, even with the shortest and most ambivalent text, Jimin wouldn't have come here today. And Jungkook wouldn't have been worried about him accidentally discovering the truth sleeping in his bedroom.

“Sorry,” JK hurried a simple apology. “I was taking a shower just right now.” 

“I bet you were,” Jimin snorted. “And what about yesterday? I didn't know you needed the whole ass day to wash yourself.”

Jungkook deserved that passive-aggressive and beyond-sarcastic response so he just accepted the scolding in his mind. However, all he could focus on right now were not the boy’s words but his tone. He was talking louder and louder and the last thing JK wanted right now was Jimin’s comments to wake Taehyung up. After last night and all the confessions he deserved some peace and even more blissful sleep; not another confrontation and explaining to Jimin why he just left Jungkook’s bedroom in his clothes.

The vision alone made Jungkook's blood run cold. There was no rational way to explain this sleepover without telling Jimin the truth—and that option was out of the question. That is why he had to do everything to avoid this confrontation at all costs. For the good of all three of them.

“Besides, I've waited all night and day for you to tell me what happened on Friday. How was your date? Spill the tea. I need to know what's up.”

“And you came here just to ask me about it?” Jungkook couldn't believe it was the real reason for his best friend's behavior. That something so childish could have ruined everything he had been fighting for since the night on the bridge.

“I came here because I was worried,” Jimin clarified but just a second later he added with a sly smirk on his lip, “And… because I wanted to know what happened between you two.”

JK growled and grabbed his hips. “Gosh! You're unbelievable!”

“Oh, just tell me what happened! You would do it anyway tomorrow at school so don’t be so secretive right now. I helped you with the date. I deserve to know how it went, right? We’ll have a friendly conversation first and later we can order something to eat and play video games just as we used to back in the days.”

So Jimin came here with everything already planned for the rest of the day. It was even worse than JK expected. How he was supposed to get rid of him right now? There was no way he could say no to the fun Sunday with his best friend. The refusal itself was hella suspicious. It would be easier to throw Jimin over his shoulder and remove him from the apartment by force than to convince him he didn’t want to spend quality time with his bestie.

Shit, what to do? What to do?

“Don’t tell me you don’t want to play some video games?” Jimin raised his eyebrow. “Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?” 

“Ah, it’s not about that. I just—”

He started but Jimin quickly cut in, “Wait. Why are you whispering?”

His words made JK aware that he subconsciously lowered his voice—he really didn’t want to wake Taehyung up. It was a rather obvious contrast, all opposed to ever-loud Jimin; no wonder the boy noticed it immediately.

“No. I always speak like this. Don’t you—”

“Nah, something's not right.”  

Jimin didn’t want to give up so easily as he started to look around the apartment. He tried to find something odd; something that might be the reason for Jungkook’s behavior. He momentarily turned into a world-class detective and JK just knew he’d take this case seriously.

That is why he started to panic inside and it was harder and harder to tame his raging emotions. So much so that Jungkook made one pretty obvious mistake—he looked at his bedroom door.  

“Who's there?” Jimin asked.

“Who's where?”

Jungkook tried to play dumb but he knew it was already a lost case. The moment Jimin set his mind on something there was no coming back from it. But JK had to fight to the last moment if it meant he could keep his secret. Even if he chose the cheapest line of defense possible.

“Who are you hiding there?” Jimin asked once again and stood up. He grabbed his hips, showed his head towards the bedroom door, and locked his expectant gaze on Jungkook.

“Why would I hide someone?”

Jimin smacked his lips and shook his head in disbelief. “Jeon Jungkook, you were and you still are a terrible liar.”

As he spoke these words, he hurried toward the bedroom door. Jungkook did the same at the last moment and blocked his path right in front of the door. He leaned against the doorframe so that the boy couldn't get inside. Such a gesture ultimately meant that there was someone else in the apartment, but JK had no choice—he had to react.

Jimin, on the other hand, squinted his eyes and looked JK over, trying to understand his chaotic behavior. In the end, he focused solely on his eyes as if he wanted to look deep into his soul in search of an answer. But before Jungkook could start explaining, Jimin smirked once again.

“Oh, my, my, Gukkie, you’re such a player,” Jimin teased him. “You should have told me you have a guest. I would have left you two lovebirds alone.”

Jimin changed his attitude from a serious detective mode to the flirtatious bestie who would do anything for the juiciest tea and Jungkook didn’t know what was worse. There was no use to pretend they were alone in the apartment but maybe there was a way to convince Jimin to stay out of the bedroom.

That’s why he only sighed unconvinced, “Would you really?”

Jimin stroked his chin in a theatrical gesture.

“Nah, not really.”

Jungkook only rolled his eyes—he should have expected that.

“So… if I’m already here then I can as well say hi, right?” Jimin pushed forward and tried to get into the room but JK once again stopped him. “Oh, don’t be like this. I’ve known Lisa for much longer than you do. Though not from that side, if you know what I mean.”

The boy winked and grabbed the handle sure that his time Jungkook would let him in. But when JK hadn’t moved an inch, the blond took a step back to look at him once again. He furrowed his brows and cast him a skeptical look.

“Because it is Lisa, right?”

Jimin asked and it was Jungkook’s last hope to save his ass. But to do that he had to lie. Admitting it was Lisa gave him another day to come up with an excuse and prepare another made-up story for Jimin to tell tomorrow. However, it was based on the assumption that Jimin would believe him on the spot and would not decide to check his words a moment later. And being caught just now would be one big nail to his coffin. 

On the other hand, letting Jimin go into the room was like unleashing a hungry beast into the field of innocent sheep. Jimin would not let him live if he found out the truth.

Agh, god damn it, there is no good solution to this!

“Gukkie, when did you put it here?”

Jungkook came down to Earth in a second when he heard another of Jimin’s questions. He followed the boy’s hand to where he was pointing, trying to understand what was he referring to.

“When did I—What?”

But before he realized it, Jimin took advantage of his momentary confusion and pushed past Jungkook to grab the handle. Only then did JK understand the boy asked this stupid question just to distract him but it was already too late. When he turned to stop Jimin he had already entered the room.   

Jungkook felt his heart coming to his throat. Holly shit, I’m screwed.

He was so afraid to follow Jimin into the room. And he feared not only for himself but for Taehyung as well. He believed Jimin would not ruin everything they had been fighting for so long but he also knew his best friend. His gossipy nature made him unpredictable.

Jimin stood in the doorway and took a great measure of what was happening inside. He didn’t say a word, just stood there in silence for a little longer. It wasn’t typical for Jimin, that is why Jungkook shyly peeked over his shoulder just to see for himself. He hoped that maybe Taehyung had turned over or covered himself with the duvet, something to make him more unrecognizable.

Unfortunately, the boy was lying in the same position JK had left him before taking a shower—nothing had changed. His cheeks were still pink, his lips were slightly parted, and his black locks were spread out on the white pillow. It was impossible not to recognize him or confuse him with anyone else. The person sleeping in his bed was Kim Taehyung and his undeniable beauty.

And that only meant they were in big trouble.

When JK noticed that Jimin had already come to the same conclusion, he quickly looked down—he wasn’t ready for such a confrontation. Well, it was inevitable anyway, so he wasn’t overly surprised when a moment later Jimin grabbed his wrist and almost yanked him to the living room. Only when he was sure he had closed the door as quietly as possible did he let go of his friend's hand.

JK stood in the middle of the living room like a child ready to be scolded by his parents. Jimin looked as if he wanted to scream: he was opening and closing his mouth repetitively, trying to suppress the urge to let all his thoughts out. In the end, he bit his lip hard, and nervously fixed his hair as he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“What in the actual fuck is happening here?”

Well, that was quite an adequate question.

“I can explain!” Jungkook raised his hands in a defensive gesture. These were the first words that came to his mind but the truth was he didn't really know if there was a way to explain it.

“Oh, I bet you can explain it! And you will explain it because I'm not leaving this place until you tell me why on Earth is Kim fucking Taehyung sleeping in your bed!.”

It sounded even more bizarre when Jimin said it; especially when he didn’t know the real reason behind this sleepover. For Jungkook, it was a natural chain of events while for Jimin it probably was the gossip of a century. Because for the boy there could be only one quite obvious reason for why Taehyung slept in his bed. The one that was far from what truly happened between them.

And the thing that Jungkook didn’t know what to say and acted all shy as if he got caught red-handed didn’t help the situation at all.

“Why are you silent?” Jimin insisted. “He's literally wearing your clothes.”

Jungkook didn’t need a reminder; he knew exactly which clothes he left Taehyung yesterday evening. But that shouldn’t be so scandalous. He lent his clothes to Jimin each time they had a sleepover—it was only natural. Well, they weren’t cute teenagers anymore but there shouldn’t be any difference now where they were older. It was just a friendly gesture.

“Say something, for fucks sake,” the blond demanded and Jungkook could no longer pretend he was okay with the tone his best friend was talking to him. Maybe that is why he snapped back at him a little more aggressively than he originally planned.

“Stop acting as if we were married and you just caught me cheating.”

“But you did!” Came the sassy Jimin-like response. “I feel betrayed that you haven't told me about it.”

“Stop it, Jimin. There’s nothing to talk about because nothing happened.”

“Oh, so now we're calling that nothing?”

“He just stayed overnight, that's all.”

“That's all? All?! How do you even make him stay overnight?”

Jungkook opened his mouth but couldn't find an answer. It was useless and he had no strength to continue this strange interrogation that led nowhere anyway. There was no valid excuse, and even if there was one, Jimin would believe in his own version—he always knew better. His gossipy nature always won over his rational side at that time. So Jungkook had to act quickly before the boy could believe in his own narrative.

“You stayed overnight as well.”

“Yeah, but I’m your best friend.”

“How is it different?”

“How is—How? You ask how?” Jimin started to freak out. “It’s the walking perfection we’re talking about. He’s not an ordinary boy. He doesn’t do sleepovers. He doesn’t even talk to people at school so… how did you… how… You can’t be friends. I would have known about it. You would have told me right?”

He looked at him hoping for a confirmation but Jungkook stood still trying to act indifferent. So when JK didn’t say a word the vision of the biggest betrayal crept into the boy’s face.

“Oh God, I can’t believe it! Something is going on between you two and all that mysterious shit you’re doing right now only confirms it. But… you didn’t even like him! Were you pretending back then? Just to keep it away from me? How could you? And what about Taehyung? What about the one-flaw rule? He turns down everyone! He doesn’t date and—”

Jimin suddenly stopped in the middle of the sentence just as if the lighting struck him. He must have connected some dots or had a groundbreaking thought. His attitude momentarily changed. He dropped that chaotic behavior and calmed down only to speak once more with a playful smirk on his lips.

“Okay, now I get it. He does not date but he does fuck. That's a fair trade.”

“Hey!”

“What? Good for you, right?”

“I think you overstepped here,” JK said firmly trying to calm Jimin down.

He kind of expected to hear such an assumption about what might have happened between him and Taehyung—he knew what it all looked like. But he hoped Jimin would at least make him explain some things without being overly curious and delusional. Unfortunately, it sounded even worse than he had imagined. Jungkook could bare hearing these shitty things about himself but hearing how Taehyung was treated made him somehow angry. He just hoped Taehyung was still deeply asleep and didn’t hear a word from this absurd conversation.  

“What's to overstep here?” Jimin was unhinged. “I think it's amazing how two of the hottest boys in school are sleeping together. Unbelievable. Like, how is it even a thing? Never in my life could I have imagined it and yet I'm here witnessing the greatest story of my life.”

How Jimin made this story about himself was beyond Jungkook's imagination.

“There were a lot of speculations about Taehyung but you… You have never given off such vibes. I wouldn’t have guessed you’re into boys as well.” Jimin looked him over. “But I guess Atlanta can change people for real.”

That was enough. The moment Jimin mentioned Atlanta without knowing what had happened back there made Jungkook’s blood boil. He got angry at his best friend, probably angrier than he had ever been, and he had no intention to speak to him any longer.  

He moved toward Jimin and forcefully grabbed his arms and started pushing him toward the front door. The boy resisted slightly but allowed himself to be pushed in the indicated direction. He even took his shoes along the way. But Jimin never gave up so easily as he continued with his theories along the way.

“But you’re clearly into girls as well. You went on a date with Lisa, right? Then what about her? Are you two also seeing each other? I didn't know you were such a player! Wow, Gukkie! Collecting both sides? True top behavior. Because you clearly must be top right?”

“Jimin, please, shut up,” JK said through clenched teeth, hoping it would somehow stop the boy but he must have been delusional to think it would help.

“Nah, you can't be bottom,” Jimin continued. “That doesn't seem right. But actually? Taehyung can be quite intimidating sometimes with these looks of his. Ahh, and that seductive voice. Mmm. If girls want to be underneath him then probably boys as well. So maybe?”

“Stop it, Jimin.”

“Ah, then you clearly switch. That's fair.” 

And with that last remark, Jungkook literally pushed Jimin outside his apartment and shut the door behind them. He couldn't allow Taehyung to hear any of these absurd comments and speculations as Jimin had no intention of stopping. His babbling was uncomfortable to hear even for Jungkook. Maybe that is why he stopped controlling himself once they found themselves alone on the staircase.  

“Can you shut the fuck up for a second?!” Jungkook said firmly although not as loudly as he would have liked to—he had no intention of putting on another show, this time for the neighbors.

“How am I supposed to shut up when you do such things?”

“Because if you're really my best friend you should have done it the moment I asked you to.”

Only this sentence slightly calmed Jimin down. Maybe he realized he overstepped a little, though JK doubted it was the case. Shame, as Jungkook was so disappointed in his best friend’s behavior. Jimin should have listened to him, let him speak and explain all that had happened, instead of assuming things and calling him names. JK knew he had a colorful personality but he also hoped Jimin could put it aside when Jungkook asked him to do so. That is why he was so hurt by Jimin’s grand act this morning.

It seemed like Jimin finally understood his mistake though not completely. He placed his hands on his hips and took a few calming breaths. Only then did he raise his head to look at Jungkook warily. He reminded JK of a parent who was giving their child the last chance to explain themselves before they ground him forever.

“Okay, fine. Just tell me one thing. If it’s not what I think it is then how did you make him stay overnight?”

Jimin waited impatiently while staring deep into Jungkook’s eyes. As if in that way he could tell if JK was telling the truth or not. Jungkook knew how hard it would be to convince him but he had one made-up story already on his mind. It wasn’t much of a lie but it wasn’t completely true either. Nevertheless, he had to try.

“You know I have a problem with math, right?” he started but Jimin immediately sighed in irritation.

“Oh, so you want to tell me he's your tutor now? Really? And you want me to believe in it?” Jimin spread his hands in disbelief. “How am I supposed to not freak out like that if you're not telling me the truth?”

“But that is the truth. He came here yesterday. We did some math. It started to rain so he stayed overnight. That's all.”

Jungkook continued with his half-lie, hoping that this time he would manage to convince Jimin. Unfortunately, the blond knew him better than he thought. Jimin laughed sarcastically and gave him the most disappointed look he had ever seen on him.

“That's all? Do you even hear yourself?” Jimin still couldn't believe it. “Let me ask you in a different way. Does he take on more students? Maybe I canc also sign up for such tuition, huh? He must be really good, right?”

“That's enough. You took it too far.”

JK couldn't stand it any longer and though he wanted to add something way more offensive, he just bit his tongue, turned around, and went back inside, slamming the doors behind him.

He was furious. He couldn't remember the last time he was this angry with Jimin. He had no intention of talking to him any longer. Not when all Jimin could think about was his romantic relationship with Taehyung. Well, it wasn’t even about a relationship or something romantic. All he had in his mind was the two of them sharing a bed in the most freaky and sexual way—something that wasn’t even in Jungkook’s mind.  

Jungkook leaned helplessly against the door and took a deep breath to calm himself down. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to clear his thoughts. He hoped that Taehyung didn't hear anything of their fiery exchange of words, otherwise, JK would turn into the reddest shade of red—that was too embarrassing.  

But it wasn't what worried him the most. He wouldn't forgive Jimin if his childish behavior ruined everything he fought for last night. When Taehyung finally gathered the strength and courage to tell him the whole story, when he finally wanted to fight for himself and his true persona, he suddenly got treated as a sexualized object. Jungkook didn’t want him to hide behind the mask of a walking perfection and the perfect image all people at school believed in. And what Jimin just said wasn’t a pleasant invitation for Taehyung to be himself. It was pretty much the other way around.

Jungkook rubbed his temples and finally straightened up, ready to check what was actually happening with Taehyung sleeping in his room. But as soon as he raised his head, he knew there was no point in going anywhere. The boy stood shyly in the middle of the living room and seemed to be waiting for Jungkook to come back inside. 

He looked as if he had just woken up. His hair was messy and his face was slightly puffy. His eyes were still red from yesterday's tears and that was probably the very first time he saw them like that. Usually, even after the hardest nights, Taehyung looked exceptionally good the next morning—just as if nothing was bothering him. But today… today his visuals finally matched the state he was in. And it wasn’t a promising image.

There was something so endearing about this view—the real view. Taehyung didn’t try to be someone else and didn’t hide behind his perfect image. He was just Taehyung: a tired boy who spent most of the evening crying his eyes out and needed a fair amount of sleep to recompensate all the pain he felt at night.  

Jungkook would have probably admired this view any other morning but not today. He was afraid to look him directly in the eye, as he felt his throat going dry and his cheeks burning. JK only hoped that the boy's presence didn't mean he heard him arguing with Jimin. On the other hand, asking about it directly was even more embarrassing. So he just stood there quietly, not knowing what to do with himself. 

“Was it Jimin?”

Surprisingly it was Taehyung who spoke up first. He seemed to be calm but his question suggested that he must have heard their conversation. The question was how much of it did he hear and what parts exactly. Jungkook swallowed hesitantly and slowly nodded, confirming the boy's words. 

Taehyung sighed and slowly ran his hand through his hair, doing the same to his face. He looked like he was thinking about something, but then again maybe he was just trying to wake up. He still looked so sleepy; almost as if he was asleep just by standing there. This made it harder for Jungkook to guess what mood he was in. 

“Lend me your slippers,” Taehyung asked suddenly and pointed at the gray slippers Jungkook was wearing.

That was the last thing he expected to hear from the boy right now. The moment when JK couldn’t find the words to start this uncomfortable conversation, Taehyung had the most random request ever.

“What? Why? Why do you need them?”

“I'll go and talk with him.”

“With whom? Jimin?” Jungkook was still confused. “But… but why?”

“Didn't he just assume we're sleeping together?”

Taehyung said it in such a casual manner that Jungkook didn’t know how to respond. He opened his mouth and was about to deny it when he realized there was nothing to deny—that was exactly what Jimin said. It only meant that Taehyung had to hear a lot of their conversation, including this absurd debate about who was top. Gosh, he would kill Jimin the very first moment he saw him.

Although Jungkook didn't feel overly uncomfortable while talking to Jimin about such things, talking about them with Taehyung just now seemed a bit awkward. Especially when the boy approached the topic so casually. It was as if he didn't understand the seriousness of the thing they were accused of. Well, Jungkook wasn't about to repeat it out loud or explain it in detail.

“Just give me the slippers,” Taehyung asked once more, and this time JK had to give in.

He didn't know whether it was a good or a bad idea or what Taehyung was planning to do, but he had to trust him on it. If Jimin didn't listen to him—his best friend, maybe he'd listen to Taehyung. And as much as Jungkook wanted the boy to finally stop pretending to be someone he wasn’t, maybe in this particular situation Mr. Perfection was the only person able to talk some common sense into Jimin.

JK left the fate of their alleged relationship in Taehyung's hands and gave him the gray slippers. The boy immediately put them on, hid his hands in the pockets of his shorts, and moved toward the door. If Jimin wouldn’t listen to Taehyung who looked like that—so adorable and so domestic, then he probably would not listen to anyone else in his life.

When the door closed behind Taehyung, JK was left alone in the apartment, standing barefoot on the cold panels. How the fuck it all came to this?

He couldn't wait still for one or both of them to return—he had to do something with himself, otherwise, he would most definitely go crazy. He went to the kitchen and started preparing the morning tea—he was already too stressed for coffee. Jungkook wondered if he should take two or three cups but in the end, he put only two. Jimin didn’t like tea anyway.  

JK stared blindly at the kettle; a thing he had been doing quite often lately. However, focusing on the boiling bubbles was more calming than it seemed. The truth was he had to keep his mind busy just not to think of what might have been happening on the staircase.

And he was about to grab the kettle when he heard the doors opening. Jungkook immediately rushed into the hall to see what was happening. Taehyung was the first to come back into the apartment. He had his head slightly lowered and he covered his mouth and nose with the back of his hand.

Jungkook stood in his way but Taehyung seemed to be avoiding him on purpose; just as if he wanted to run away in another direction. Their eyes met only for a second but it was enough for JK to notice how teary they were. That explained a few quiet sniffles he heard a second later.  

“Make him a cup of tea,” Taehyung said quickly and pointed toward the doors. His voice was shaky as if he was about to cry out and it wasn't a good sign. 

What the hell had happened there?

Taehyung almost immediately moved toward the bathroom, but JK couldn't leave it like that. He grabbed the boy's wrist, hoping this would stop him for a moment and force him to look up. Fortunately, Taehyung didn’t try to fight back and almost obediently raised his head and glanced at Jungkook.

“I'm fine,” he murmured quickly. “I'll just take a shower.”

It wasn't convincing at all; especially when the boy used that one word Jungkook absolutely hated. Nothing was ever fine whenever Taehyung said it but somehow this time JK decided to trust him on it. He sounded sincere and apparently, he needed a few moments on his own. However, leaving Taehyung alone wasn’t an overly good tactic (as they both had proven a few times in the past) but it seemed like the only way now. That’s why Jungkook finally removed his hand and let the boy go to the bathroom.

Instead, Jungkook focused on Taehyung’s words. Why would he want him to make a cup of tea for Jimin? JK knew that he had never drunk tea, and when he did, he thoughtlessly poured a ton of sugar into it, which completely killed its taste. And why would Taehyung care so much about it? Jimin wasn’t cold, wasn’t shivering from standing all day in the rain, and wasn’t about to spend the day studying over some textbooks in the kitchen.

And then it struck him. There was only one thing that could be associated with drinking tea in his apartment and what would make Taehyung teary so much.

All it took to confirm his theory was a one look at Jimin who slowly entered the apartment. The blond gently closed the door behind him and shyly leaned his back against them. Jimin’s cheerful, cheeky and inquisitive humor was long gone, replaced by a rather gloomy expression. His lips were sealed, his jaw tightly clenched, and his eyes were wandering all around the hall. He took a deep breath and put his hands on his hips, looking a bit helpless, as if he didn't know what to say at all.

Only after a moment of building courage did he dare look up and face Jungkook. JK wasn’t sure if he had ever seen so much remorse and regret in his friend's eyes. Just as if this one look could beg him for forgiveness. Now when Jungkook knew the reason for the sudden change in his behavior, he couldn’t blame him for feeling like that. Jungkook would have been in a deep shock if he was at Jimin’s place right now. On the other hand, there was probably no more tragic way of finding out than what JK experienced on the bridge.

It was only when they heard the sound of water coming from the bathroom, Jimin magically regained his voice. He quickly walked up to Jungkook, covering his mouth in surprise, as if he was ashamed of his next words.

“Oh my god, Gukkie, I am so sorry,” he started apologizing in a really chaotic and emotional manner. “I am so stupid. I shouldn't have said all those things. I shouldn't have joked like that. I am such a fool. I'm sorry. It was a mistake. It's all my fault. I'm sorry for my fault. I'm sorry for—”

“Hey, calm down. It’s okay,” JK tried to stop his chaotic apologies.

“No, it’s not okay. I’m so stupid, so so stupid and—”

“Stop it already.”

Jungkook put his hand on Jimin’s shoulders to calm him down and surprisingly it worked. He didn’t need any long apologies. JK knew he regretted his behavior and words—he could see it in the boy’s eyes, and that was enough for him. He had never seen Jimin in such a state—so moved and shaken by someone’s confession. His condition only confirmed JK’s belief that Taehyung must have told him something about his struggles on the bridge. There was no other explanation for Jimin’s behavior.

“I should really shut up from time to time,” Jimin whispered rather to himself. Jungkook couldn't agree more but he wasn't going to say it out loud. It was enough for Jimin to truly realize his mistake.

And while earlier the boy’s gaze was flying everywhere, at this one moment he fixed it exactly on Jungkook's eyes. Jimin's look seemed to express more than a thousand emotions, and one of them was the great disbelief with which he uttered the next words a moment later.

“I didn't know you… you…,” he tried but couldn't say these words out loud. He stuttered for a few seconds more until he closed his eyes and gathered all the courage to finally ask, “Did you really stop him from jumping off the bridge?”

Jungkook couldn’t really name the feeling that accompanied him when he heard this question from Jimin’s lips. It was strange to hear it from someone who wasn’t Taehyung or a therapist, from someone who wasn’t involved in this case, someone who was so close to Jungkook. They never addressed the issue so directly and maybe the way Jimin was so straightforward about it made Jungkook realize that he in fact saved Taehyung that night.

For a long time, the events on the bridge seemed like a dark nightmare. They were so tragic and so harrowing that they almost felt as if they had never happened. But it all… happened. Jungkook was there, at the bridge, holding Taehyung by the wrists and stopping him from jumping off. In someone’s eyes, he was a hero, in others, like Taehyung’s at the beginning, a villain. No matter how they looked at it, he saved someone’s life. And that was quite a heavy package he had to live on with.

He suppressed it for a very long time and couldn’t speak about what had happened, even though he wanted to break the silence several times—for Taehyung’s and his own sake. He finally gave in and confessed to the therapist but it wasn’t the experience he hoped for. And now, he stood in front of his best friend, a person who understood him best and whom he could trust (even though this morning was quite rough). It felt like a relief to know he could finally stop pretending.

On the other hand, when he saw how much pain was gathered inside Jimin’s eyes, JK wasn’t sure anymore if he was the right person to stand by his side. But there was no way back right now. So even though Jungkook didn’t want to hurt him, he slowly blinked with a soft nod to confirm Jimin’s rather tragic words.  

The blonde stared at him in disbelief for a moment, as if he hoped that Jungkook would change his mind, add something, or deny everything he heard from Taehyung. Unfortunately, there was nothing to deny.

“Fuck,” Jimin muttered under his breath. He couldn't find the words to describe how shocking this news had been for him. To be honest, Jungkook wanted to curse as well.

“But… But how is it even possible?” Jimin frantically tried to find a rational reason for such a tragic decision. “We… we saw him every day at school living his best life, looking so… so fine, behaving like everything was more than perfect. As if he was indeed perfect. It doesn’t make sense to… to do it.”

That meant Jimin didn't know the reason why Taehyung decided to jump. Maybe for the better—the story wasn’t the easiest to understand. And seeing Jimin's reaction to only a part of Taehyung’s story convinced Jungkook that the boy was definitely not ready to hear about what had happened in Atlanta. No matter how much he wanted to tell him everything, he already knew that it would break his best friend’s heart.

“How is he now?” Jimin asked quietly, looking toward the bathroom.

It was a question that Jungkook had a really hard time answering. In fact, he didn't know if Taehyung could answer it himself. JK didn't know what exactly was on his mind, although after yesterday's conversation, he had a better insight. Jungkook understood what the problem was, or at least he thought he understood it better now. However, it was too early to draw any conclusions. Until the boy received professional help, there was no point in talking about improvement. Nevertheless, his willingness to seek this help was quite comforting. The very declaration that Taehyung was attached to these happy moments was a big step forward.

“Not good but not bad.” Jungkook shrugged. There was no better way to phrase it. “He's quite a good actor, you know. Though I'd like to believe he's honest with me, sometimes even I get fooled.”

Because that's how he felt all the time. He seemed to be close to knowing the truth, and yet Taehyung was always one step ahead of him, hiding his true self. However, JK hoped that this mindless hide-and-seek game was over for good. After everything he had heard yesterday, Jungkook was sure Taehyung would not dare to lie to him ever again. All the boy said yesterday came straight from his heart. It must have meant that it only would get better. It had to get better from now on.

“I bet he is a good actor. He quite easily fooled us all. I would never have imagined something was wrong.” Jimin shook his head in disbelief, still trying to understand it. “How long has this been going on?”

“Over a month.”

“Over a month?!” Jimin couldn't believe it. “Gosh. That's… agh. That is why you were so off lately. And why I saw you two talking so much? You were taking care of him then, right?”

Jungkook slowly nodded. “Pretty much yes.”

He had to be quite creative to deceive Jimin for so long, especially when hiding things from the boy wasn’t an easy thing to do. Even though he couldn’t confess to Jimin back then, he still felt bad about all he had done to his friend. So now, when Jimin knew at least part of the story, JK felt that the apology was much needed in this situation.

“Ah, I’m sorry for all the misunderstandings and white lies. I had—”

“Stop it. You're not the one apologizing here.” Jimin placed a hand on his shoulder in a patronizing gesture. “You're more than justified. I'm not even mad. What you have done… is simply incredible.”

Once again Jimin’s words made him realize that all he had been doing for the past weeks was an extremely important job. It wasn’t about a minor problem, a silly secret he had to keep from his friends. No. It was about saving someone’s life—the greatest gift of all that couldn’t be so easily wasted.

Jungkook suddenly felt cold; and not just because he was still standing barefoot on the icy floor.

“Well, this month wasn't easy…” he trailed off, trying to get rid of equally freezing thoughts. He knew it wasn’t the end of their struggle but he felt they were closer than ever to Taehyung’s happy ending. Assuming he still wanted to cooperate after what had just happened.

“Fortunately, yesterday night he finally confessed,” JK admitted. “He trusted me enough to share his story, all his fears and insecurities; all the reasons behind his decision. It wasn’t an easy night for either of us.”

Even thinking about yesterday’s events made Jungkook emotional. He could feel his heart rate going faster and his eyes fighting off those traitorous tears. It wasn’t as painful as it was for Taehyung, yet somehow it touched JK as much. To see the boy in pain was truly heartbreaking to watch. On the one hand, he was glad that he finally learned Taehyung’s story and on the other, he would rather not know it just to spare both of them pain.

Jungkook sighed, blinked a few times, and looked at his best friend angrily. Jimin had to understand the seriousness of the situation he got himself in.

“So if you ruined it all with your childish, completely unfunny behavior this morning I'll be the maddest you have ever seen me. And trust me you don't want it.”

He dug his finger into his arm, trying to underline his aggressive words. Jimin was much at fault here but there was no point in getting angry at him right now. It wouldn’t turn back the time or change the past; still, it was so frustrating for Jungkook to experience. To think all he fought for could be destroyed just because he forgot to text his best friend back at one point yesterday. Oh, how Jungkook wished Taehyung hadn’t been affected by this morning’s farce.

Well, if Jimin hadn’t come here, Taehyung wouldn’t have told him about the accident. Jungkook would have to pretend and lie even more, so maybe there was some positive outcome from this confrontation. Although, it was hard to tell when Taehyung was still hiding in the bathroom.  

Hearing Jungkook's scolding tone, Jimin began to apologize to him once again, and once again his apologies were quite chaotic. He only stopped when they heard the bathroom door being unlocked. Jungkook immediately moved to the kitchen as he suddenly remembered he was asked to make tea. Besides, he wanted to give Taehyung some privacy if he wanted to change in his bedroom, which is why he took Jimin with him to the kitchen. Just not to make it any more awkward than it already was.

Two cups were already standing on the countertop—the ones he prepared when he was waiting for the boys to come back to the apartment. He was about to reach for the third cup but he stopped in the middle; he no longer wanted a tea. At this point, only the banana milk could save his aching soul. He quickly put some of Taehyung's favorite herbs into one cup and a bag of the most ordinary tea into the other; Jimin would destroy it with tons of sugar anyway. 

Finally, he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, just to stare at the water that was gradually bubbling inside the kettle. The mindless staring was supposed to help him keep his mind occupied with something other than yesterday’s or this morning’s events. Surprisingly it worked, so much so that he didn't notice when Jimin did the same and leaned on the counter beside him. The blond said something, but Jungkook didn't notice it at all.

“Gukkie?” Jimin nudged him when he got no response.

“Mmm,” Jungkook just hummed, not taking his eyes off the bubbling water.

“I asked if you're alright.”

“I'm fine,” JK said rather automatically. It took him a moment to realize what he had actually said. And as it was the word he hated so much, he quickly added, “I'm alright. It's not easy but… I can manage.”

Jimin looked him over as he wasn’t overly convinced. Well, he always had the sixth sense when it came to people in distress or hopeless situations. Maybe that is why he didn’t believe Jungkook at all and had to come clear about one more thing.

“I know you can go through many things alone but… you don’t have to. You know, I'm here for you if you need me. If you both need me.”

He offered and JK knew he was serious about it. Jimin had his specific way of being but when he needed him the most he was there for him. It was nice to have such a support. Jungkook wished he remembered about it much earlier. Maybe it could have saved him a lot of unnecessary pain.

“I know, thank you,” JK murmured. “Actually… I kind of wanted to talk to you about it but… I couldn’t find a proper way to do it.”

Jimin squinted his eyes as if he wanted to go through all his memories just to find that one moment in the past. But before Jungkook could give him a clue, he quickly raised his brow as he realized something important.

“The patio,” he said confidently. “You weren’t talking about Lisa. It was all about Taehyung, right?”

JK slowly nodded. “Mhm.”

“Oh God, I feel so stupid right now. I shouldn’t have talked about her.”

“You couldn’t know.”

“Yeah but… it still feels weird knowing you had such an important topic on your mind and I made it all about a stupid date.”

Well, Jungkook himself was quite surprised when Jimin suggested that his problem was in fact with Lisa. The boy greatly misunderstood this whole situation and the mood Jungkook was in, but he couldn’t blame his friend for making similar comments. As always, he tried to help, though it was Jungkook who gave him the wrong instructions as to how to do it.

Besides, at that time JK also believed he was doing something good for himself. And that was exactly what had also been on Jimin’s mind as he asked a moment later.

“But… if it was about Taehyung then why did you agree to go on the date with Lisa?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” JK shrugged. “I like her and I wanted to check for myself how it is to know her a little bit better. I wanted to…”

He stopped as he realized the reasons behind this date were… messy. To explain it all in detail he would have to tell Jimin about his morning fight with Taehyung and it wasn’t the best place and time to do so. That was why he decided to keep the reasons to himself as of now.

“I just went there, okay?” Jungkook tried to sound convincing but he had to sigh in the end. There was something that didn’t sit right about that meeting with Lisa. “However, all I can remember from this date is the constant worrying about Taehyung and this weird feeling telling me that I’m doing something completely wrong.”

He couldn’t forget how awkward those few hours had been; how he couldn’t focus on anything the girl told him; how he couldn’t finish his beloved coffee; how he wished he hugged someone else; how he stood in the rain for so long even when Lisa had already left. If Jungkook was just a little bit careless, he would fall into the same trap just now.

“Wow, Gukkie, I've never seen you so tense and serious about something,” Jimin admitted and tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. “You're really… invested and you rarely are.”

And Jungkook was, in fact, deeply invested in that matter. 

Anyone would be invested after seeing Taehyung in such a vulnerable state; after hearing these desperate pleas and heartbreaking confessions. Jungkook wanted to believe that anyone in his position would be equally committed after such experiences. That he wasn't the only one who cared so much about the boy. 

“You know, at first I felt as if I was somehow involuntarily involved in this whole situation simply because I was the one walking that bridge at that time. It felt natural to help when I was one of the elements of that story. But now? Now…”

Exactly. What now? How did he become voluntarily involved, as he admitted to Taehyung yesterday? And what did it actually mean? He tried to rationalize his great attachment to Taehyung but there were a few things and feelings he couldn’t really explain no matter how much he thought about it. He just knew he couldn’t bear seeing Taehyung being hurt like this. Jungkook was under the impression that when the boy suffered, some part of him suffered as well. As if they were bonded by an invisible string. But how was it possible?

“Now what?” Jimin asked when JK wasn’t responding for some time.  

And the longer Jimin stared at him, waiting for an answer, the more pressure Jungkook felt. His next words seemed to be of greater importance than all he had previously said. As if they weighed much more than Jungkook could carry on his shoulders or maybe in his heart. He couldn’t really tell and he wasn’t about to search for a reason in front of Jimin. It was something he had to do by himself or with Taehyung.

Maybe that is why he let his mouth slip only a few quite mindless words. It felt as if he had said them subconsciously but they were no less significant than all the emotional mess he tried to arrange in his head. 

“I just want him to be happy.”

Chapter Text

“I just want him to be happy,” Jungkook sighed and as these words escaped his mouth, Taehyung confidently strode into the kitchen.

He stopped in the middle and smoothed his wet hair with his hand. He had already changed his clothes—it was a good thing JK hung them in the bathroom yesterday. Fortunately, they were already dry and weren’t particularly damaged. Only the beige shirt was slightly wrinkled and not perfectly ironed as Taehyung usually wore but still, it fit him perfectly. Jungkook didn't understand this phenomenon, but apparently, Taehyung could wear an old trash bag and still make it look good on him.

As much as he loved the fresh look of the boy, Jungkook suddenly became wary of his words. JK completely forgot that the boy had left the bathroom and went to change clothes in his bedroom, which meant there was a high probability he heard the last part of his conversation with Jimin. And although he tried to speak a little quieter at first, he didn't know how many of his words Taehyung heard. 

Funny. This was the second time in the last few minutes that Jungkook wondered if Taehyung had heard the conversations in his apartment.

And although this time his conversation with Jimin wasn't as controversial as the previous one, Taehyung felt as if his confession was somewhat intimate. Not that he hadn't let Taehyung know earlier that he cared about his happiness. He just felt different about it at that moment. Just as if this time it was a different part of him speaking.

Jungkook panicked a little and he immediately reached for the kettle to hide his embarrassment. Out in the corner of his eye, he could see Taehyung sitting silently on his destined chair in the kitchen and Jimin who couldn’t look away from the boy.

It was probably the first time Jimin had seen him with such a homely look instead of the perfect image he showed everyone at school. His puffy cheeks, a little sleepy eyes, together with post-shower wet hair, and this fresh and manly scent of Jungkook’s shower gel. For the untrained eye, it was truly an amazing sight—equally charming as the walking perfection and maybe even more devastatingly handsome. 

And even though JK had seen Taehyung in many versions, including the morning post-shower one, he still subconsciously had to steal a glance from time to time. He could tell himself a thousand times that he was already used to seeing Taehyung like this, but the boy's above-average appearance won every time.

Just focus on the tea, you dumbass, Jungkook thought as it wasn’t the best moment to think about Taehyung’s golden neckless tangled with the unironed collar of his shirt.

Jungkook quickly finished his task without spilling the hot water around the kitchen and placed two cups of tea on the counter. He put them almost under both boys' noses so that they wouldn't make a mistake. They both nodded, but as Taehyung locked his gaze on his cup, Jimin locked his gaze on Taehyung. He was staring at him as if it was the first time he had ever seen the boy. But maybe it was just like that. For the first time, Jimin looked at him as a person who had real struggles and wasn’t that walking perfection everyone assumed he was.

Jimin seemed to feel uncomfortable, partially because of the confession Taehyung had made and partially because of his stupid behavior in the morning. JK was more than sure he’d try to apologize once again. It even looked kind of funny when he tried to say something, but he couldn't find the right words and the right moment. He opened his mouth then closed it after a while, just to bite his lip down. It was quite a unique experience to see Jimin at the loss of words.

Jungkook assumed it would last a little longer, that’s why he reached for a spare stool for himself to sit on. Jimin changed their tea-drinking-in-the-kitchen routine as he took a seat opposite Taehyung (the very same one Jungkook usually sat on). So when Jungkook finally sat on the same side as Taehyung, somewhere between the counter and the bar, it was almost impossible to move around the kitchen. Three people here was the maximum anyway. Jungkook casually leaned against one of the drawers and waited for what was about to happen.

And just as Jimin opened his mouth to say something, again, Taehyung suddenly stood up. He gently pushed past Jungkook and reached toward the drawer. JK straightened up slightly to allow him to do so. A moment later, the boy took out a spoon, then took the jar with sugar standing on the counter behind Jungkook, and placed both things in front of Jimin.

“You put sugar in, don't you?” he said in his charming voice, and only when Jimin took the spoon from his hand, did he finally sit back on his chair.

To say Jimin was stunned was to say nothing. To be honest, Jungkook was quite surprised as well. Mainly because just a second later Taehyung also reached into the fridge and took one of the small bottles of banana milk from the top shelf just to throw it toward Jungkook. He was ready to catch it but still in partial shock at what was actually happening around him. 

In the end, JK was really glad for the milk—in this whole mess, he forgot he wanted to drink one. He quickly unscrewed the bottle and took the first sip, never taking his eyes off Jimin, who was watching the two of them closely. He seemed to be greatly surprised as well. 

Firstly, because Taehyung knew and remembered about sugar for Jimin, and secondly, because he fulfilled the duties of the man of the house for a while. The confidence in his movements around the kitchen and the fact that he knew exactly what was where suggested that he had done this many times before. Taehyung felt comfortable in this apartment, which probably made Jimin realize it wasn’t the first time the boy stayed there overnight.

So when Jimin was busy analyzing their domestic behavior, Jungkook noticed something else. When Taehyung sat down again, his expression was different from what he saw just moments ago. He seemed confident, almost indifferent to what was happening around him and he tried to make everything… perfect. Jungkook already knew that it wasn’t the real Taehyung who sat in his kitchen. 

Jungkook was a little disappointed that the boy chose this path after everything that had happened, but he couldn't be mad at him. He knew he wouldn't change his personality with a snap of his fingers—it was a process that would take some time and trust.

JK only hoped that choosing to act like a walking perfection just now was only a temporary stunt done for Jimin's benefit. Maybe Taehyung regretted telling him about his struggles, or maybe he just didn't want to stress him out even more with his condition. JK didn't know why he was doing it, but this time he believed Taehyung had a good reason for it. That there was actually a reasonable explanation for everything that had happened in the morning.

He smiled sadly to himself and took another sip of banana milk. Jimin, on the other hand, didn't even look at the spoon handed to him by Taehyung as he immediately started making lamentous apologies. 

“Once more I'm… I’m so sorry for e-everything. All that I said… Ah… It was so stupid. I am stupid. I shouldn't have—”

“It's fine,” Taehyung sighed and tried to stop him with a wave of his hand but it wasn't enough.

“No, it's not. I feel so embarrassed and… a-ashamed about the things I said. Hope you haven't heard the whole thing.”

“Mmm. I have.” 

Taehyung mumbled while taking a sip from his cup which only made Jimin's cheeks turn into the most adorable shade of red. To be honest, JK has probably never seen his best friend in such a state—it was quite funny to watch.

“Oh my God. I'm so, so sorry. I will repay it to you somehow. If you need anything I'll—”

“Jimin,” Taehyung cut in again but this time his voice was lower and much more firm. With such a tone he could easily command people and that was exactly what had happened. Jimin shut up immediately and locked his apologetic gaze into Taehyung. “I don't need your repayment or anything else really. You said what you said, you apologized and that's all. I'm fine with it. Are you fine with it?”

He turned this question to Jungkook, who was a little surprised that he was involved in their conversation. But in the end, he just shrugged and gently nodded. Jimin's words were inappropriate, but he seemed to realize his mistake. There was no point in torturing him any longer.

“You see? So stop with all these apologies,” Taehyung added, hoping it would end this discussion, however, Jimin kept going.

“I know but… Ah, sometimes I hate that gossip side of me.”

“I like it. It’s what makes you you.”

“Yes, but—”

“Listen, this situation might have been a little confusing. No wonder you got that idea about… us,” Taehyung continued and while pointing at JK and himself. “If I were you, I would have thought the same from what you saw. Although I would assume we switch in the first place.”

Taehyung said it so casually that Jungkook had almost missed the true meaning behind his words. So when it hit him, he completely forgot how to breathe for a second.

He also forgot that he was in the middle of drinking his beloved banana milk and choked on it badly. So much so that he had to pour himself a glass of water to rinse his sore throat. He quickly waved to the boys confirming he was okay and tried to calm his unstable breathing and maybe his racing heart as well. 

He expected Taehyung not to take this situation as seriously as he should but he didn't expect… this. Saying something like that in front of Jimin wasn’t the best idea even if Taehyung said it just to loosen the atmosphere a little. Jungkook knew playing with his friend’s gossipy nature and fueling it with a silly comment was quite a dangerous game.

And Jimin seemed to know it as well. He carefully watched Jungkook's chaotic reaction to this rather bold statement. And while Taehyung seemed unfazed, maybe even confident in his comment, JK's behavior was suspicious, to say the least. However, Jimin had no intention of drawing any more risky conclusions. Not after what happened this morning.

“Yeah, I'm sorry,” Jimin added. His cheeks were red once again. “That… debate wasn't really needed.”

He was referring to his pseudo-guesses about their supposed sexual relationship and Jungkook didn't want to go through that again. It was too weird to talk about his preferences, especially now in front of Taehyung. So he had to change the topic before he could hear another very ambiguous or overly sexualized comment—somehow it could come from any of the boys.

“Either way. I know you like to talk but this time you really have to keep it to yourself. It means no teachers, no Hobi, no Yoongi, nobody. Are we clear?”

Jimin immediately raised his hands in a defensive gesture. In this way, he wanted to show that this time he would stay deadly silent, or maybe he was just trying to defend himself against Jungkook's rather sharp tone. He didn’t want to make him even angrier than he already was.

He only managed to glance between the boys and after everything he had learned that morning, he decided that he was probably not welcome here anymore. He was more like a nuisance and maybe it was better to remove himself from the apartment without making more fuss. Preferably before Jungkook would make him sing an NDA for what he had witnessed today.

Therefore, without taking even a single sip of his way too sweet tea, he began to get up from his chair.

“Maybe I should go then,” he said and surprisingly neither of the boys responded. Taehyung stared at his tea again, and Jungkook seemed to be watching his actions carefully. That definitely meant he wasn't needed here. 

“But if you ever need me—” Jimin started but was quickly cut short by Taehyung.

“I'll remember about it. Thank you.”

He gave him a warm smile that Jungkook would definitely have fallen for a while ago. But not today. That morning he already knew that Taehyung was only pretending. That's why he decided that he had to get Jimin out of the apartment as soon as possible to end the boy's suffering. He didn't want him to have to pretend more than necessary.

Therefore, when Jimin looked at JK, expecting some comment on such behavior, he only nodded discreetly and looked toward the door. He hoped that Jimin would understand the subtle gesture and luckily he did. The blond nodded himself and finally got up from the chair, heading toward the door.

Actually, all three of them went to the door. Jungkook hugged Jimin goodbye in a reassuring gesture but didn’t say anything more. Same for Taehyung who just gave him another faint smile and when Jimin finally left the apartment, he gently closed the door behind him.

Taehyung immediately placed his hand on the door and lowered his head, taking slow breaths. He was clearly trying to calm down, although it wasn’t an easy thing to do. His shoulders began to shake, and after a while, Jungkook heard a few quiet sniffles. JK didn't need this version of Taehyung to know that he was pretending in the kitchen. The boy was a damn good actor, but he couldn't pretend all his life—even if he decided it was the only way out of his hopeless situation.

Jungkook sighed and walked to the door, leaning against it with his back in a short distance from Taehyung. All the boy had to do was look up and he would meet Jungkook's worried gaze. However, Taehyung was rather reluctant to do it, even though Jungkook patiently waited for quite a long time, counting each time the boy rubbed his face with his free hand.

“Why did you do that?” Jungkook asked softly. 

He wasn't mad, he also didn't demand to hear the exact answer. He knew it would be a complex one or there could be no answer at all. But if there was a reason why Taehyung put himself in so much pain once again, then JK wanted to know it.

Taehyung hesitated for a moment but finally straightened up and put his hands on his hips. However, his gaze was still fixed somewhere below Jungkook's waist. As if on the one hand he wanted to look at him, but on the other hand he wanted to keep his gaze locked on the floor. 

“It was better to pretend I'm fine rather than let him see me in this state,” he finally answered quietly. “He was already down. There was no need to hurt him even more. He would have been apologizing to me for the rest of my life.”

So again, it was all about that fear of hurting other people. Jimin seemed to care about Taehyung, even if he knew so little about his story, and learning more shocking facts would probably make him feel even worse about it all. Maybe even question his behavior and as to why he hadn’t noticed Taehyung’s problem earlier.

That's why a merciful walking perfection had to appear: to calm Jimin down, to show him it wasn’t that serious, to even turn his words into some kind of joke. All of it just not to hurt Jimin’s feelings when what Jungkook wanted to do was to shout at Jimin for the way he disrespected him as his best friend.

It was so messed up but somehow… everything made sense—or at least from Taehyung’s perspective. Everything he told Jungkook yesterday, his history, fears, and insecurities—they were all here in his behavior. Taehyung's perception of the world and himself was reflected in his words and actions. And it had to be changed as soon as possible.

“Can't you see it's hurting you?”

Jungkook couldn't stand seeing the boy like this. And to think that when he wasn't playing Mr. Perfection at school, he must have been wandering all around his house, here or back in Portland, feeling just as bad as he looked now. He hid so that no one would ever see this side of him; the one he claimed was destined to hurt others. 

However, the more Jungkook got to know this Taehyung, the less he believed he was capable of hurting anyone but himself.

“Yeah, but I'm used to it,” Taehyung whispered, almost inaudibly and it was one of the saddest things Jungkook had heard from the boy. Nobody should be used to his shitty feeling. Absolutely nobody.

“So maybe it's high time to change your habits?”

That's what made Taehyung finally look up. Jungkook expected his eyes to be teary but they weren't. He was clearly devastated, but he couldn't bring himself to cry again. Apparently, he used up all his tears yesterday. There was nothing more inside him. And it would almost be a good sign if it wasn’t for that hallow gaze. Jungkook would rather let him cry than see him fall into this silent despair.  

“I know it's what you told me yesterday. I know you told me I have to learn but… I don't know how to do it. When you live half of your life as I did, it's hard to change it so suddenly.”

“Then we will do it step by step, little by little, so you can finally feel comfortable with yourself. Just as you are with me.”

Jungkook was pretty much aware of the whole struggle of changing your life and habits. It wasn't easy and for sure not achievable in just one day or after one long conversation as they had. But it had to start somewhere. Each process has to start somewhere. That is why he wanted this process for Taehyung to start from him. The boy told him how comfortable in his presence he really felt and Jungkook wanted to show him it's also possible with other people.

Taehyung looked at him unconvinced. He struggled with himself for a long time, looking for the right answer, and finally added somewhere between shaking his head and hiding his face in his hands.

“But… but you're different.”

Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore and leaned his back against the door, then slowly slid to the ground. He wrapped his hands tightly around his legs and put his head on his knees. Without hesitation, Jungkook did exactly the same, and a moment later they were sitting next to each other with their shoulders gently touching. The only difference was that Taehyung was staring at one point on the floor, while Jungkook was staring directly at the boy.

“If I’m different… then why did you tell Jimin?”

This was actually what interested JK the most. Why, after all the confusion in the morning, the boy simply took his slippers, and followed the blond to the staircase, just to confess what happened on the bridge. After how much he wanted to hide it from everyone, how much he was afraid to talk to the specialist, how much he avoided his brother, such behavior didn't make sense. Why did he change his mind?

Taehyung sighed. “I… didn't tell him much. Just what happened at the bridge and that you kept helping me since then. That you keep an eye on me during heavy rains, just as it was yesterday night.”

Just as Jungkook expected Taehyung told him only the most important facts without being overly specific about why he did that and what was happening to him. It must be serious and believable enough not to make Taehyung's presence in his bed on a Sunday morning suspicious and even understandable. Well, Taehyung managed to explain it to Jimin way better than Jungkook tried with his math tutoring story. Still, there was only one question left.

“Okay, but… why?”

The boy hesitated for a moment, but finally turned his head and looked straight into Jungkook's eyes. “I think I did it… I did it for you.”

“For me?!” JK was greatly surprised and for sure needed some explanation which fortunately came a few moments later.

“Umm, yes. You and Jimin are best friends and I… I didn't want to step between you even further. You probably must have lied a lot to keep my problem a secret from him and today's morning for sure wasn't the first time you did that. I don't want you to choose between me or him, or to jeopardize your friendship because of me.”

“Gosh, you didn't have to do it,” Jungkook cut in the moment Taehyung's voice slightly cracked. “I would have handled Jimin myself.”

“I know you would but… I wanted to make it slightly easier for you. I feel bad for shutting you down and for using you so much later on. I just knew getting involved in your friendship would be using you even more. So it only felt natural that Jimin was the next one to know. Especially after what I heard from him this morning.”

Jungkook could pretend that he didn't care about Jimin knowing the truth; that he wished his friend had never found out, since this confession wasn't easy for Taehyung. But the truth was he was extremely grateful that this had happened. It made his life much easier. 

Still, Jungkook wanted to reassure Taehyung that their morning argument wouldn’t become the latest hot gossip at school. Despite Jimin’s suspicious behavior, he wouldn’t spread some fake rumors about his best friend, no matter how tempting it was. Or at least that was what JK believed in.

“You know that Jimin wouldn't say anything about this situation without my permission, right?”

“I know but… I just…” Taehyung got lost in his own words and when JK thought he’d give up, he suddenly added, “You know, my grandma used to tell me that admitting to a mistake is the first step to fixing it. And since she was never wrong, I… wanted to try it.”

That was something Taehyung had never mentioned before. Jungkook knew the boy’s family was messy but he also remembered how fondly he spoke of his grandma. She seemed to be a wise woman with a lot of valuable lessons to pass on and JK was glad that Taehyung had someone like this in his life. Too bad she couldn’t be there for him for much longer. Maybe things would have been different if she had been by his side all these years. Maybe with her help, Taehyung would have grown up as a normal teenager. Maybe he wouldn’t have to go through all that painful years alone.

And her words… She was absolutely right. Admitting you made a mistake was one of the hardest things to do yet necessary to fix what has been done wrong. And if Taehyung decided to speak up, even if it was only two people who knew about it, didn’t it mean he recognized going to the bridge as a mistake? If so that would be a huge step forward.

“Did it help?”

"No."

The response was quick and blunt—Taehyung didn't even have to think about it. Jungkook should have expected a similar reaction. This case wasn’t the easiest one, no wonder Taehyung was still confused about what he should do now. Maybe he regretted sharing it with Jimin or maybe he was disappointed it didn’t work in an instant.

Jungkook only sighed silently—it wasn’t the time to talk about something so serious. Taehyung didn’t look like he was ready for another hurtful conversation. He deserved some break that’s why JK got concerned when he saw another change in the boy’s behavior. And it wasn’t a promising one.

Taehyung squeezed his hands tighter and leaned forward, curling into the smaller ball, just as if he wanted to hide and retreat to his inner self once again. Jungkook couldn’t let him do it so he had to act quite fast. He wanted to show the boy that despite the outcome it was a good decision. That any, even the smallest step in the right direction, was a good decision.

But how to convince Taehyung it was the right thing to do?

Jungkook had one way on his mind and decided to give it a try. He could feel his heart beating slightly faster but there was no coming back right now. He let his hand move over Taehyung’s squeezed hands and slowly separated them. The boy allowed him to do so and a second later Jungkook could gently intertwine his fingers with Taehyung's icy ones. Somehow it was enough to make them pleasurably warm in no time.

“Thank you,” he whispered, slightly squeezing his hand. “Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for… sharing this story. And thank you for whatever you've done to Jimin just now.”

It felt natural for Jungkook to finally say it. He was so grateful for everything Taehyung did yesterday and in the morning. He wanted to show him how deeply he appreciated Taehyung’s actions despite his greatest fears tormenting him whenever he tried to speak about his past. If JK could, he would thank him constantly—that was how much he cared for him.

He could tell from Taehyung's expression that he hadn't heard that sentence as often as he should have. Or maybe no one has ever thanked him for something so serious. If he—his true self, had never been appreciated by others, no wonder now the boy was at the loss of words.

Taehyung just stared at Jungkook's hand tangled somewhere between his hands and gently nudged it with his finger, as if he wanted to make sure it was there for real. Then he kept stroking his thumb with his finger leaving soft marks on his skin. Jungkook looked at his face only to find him deeply focused on their hands. He kept admiring them with such a longing that it almost was heartbreaking to watch.

Gosh, he must have missed the simplest touch for real.

“I really meant it when I said you're different,” Taehyung admitted shily, still playing with Jungkook’s fingers.

JK didn’t know how to interpret it but maybe these words weren’t made to be interpreted in any way. They just came from somewhere deep inside the boy and only he knew the true meaning behind them. Either way, Jungkook was happy to hear them. It only meant he was somehow special to the boy and that was the appreciation far greater than any other award.  

“As for the person who doesn't want others to know me, I told you quite a lot, huh?” Taehyung chuckled a little and finally turned to look at Jungkook.

His expression changed from the quiet and lost boy taken over by a longing into a somehow playful and a little more positive soul. It was such a hopeful and cheerful view that Jungkook had to smile at him.

“And I’m glad you did it.”

Jungkook gently nudged the boy with his shoulder to loosen the atmosphere a little. He hoped that it meant the rest of this day wouldn’t be as tragic as its beginning suggested. After all the pain and hurt that was left in his bedroom yesterday, this Sunday had to be a happier day. Everything they were about to do from now on had to be a happier experience.

So Jungkook wanted to start their happier future with something tasty to eat. He had already planned a perfect breakfast and he hoped Taehyung would not turn down his culinary offer. JK was about to prop himself up, together with Taehyung, when the boy suddenly squeezed his hand harder.

This made Jungkook look at their tangled hands once again. Apparently, Taehyung didn’t want to let him go as of yet. He felt comfortable sitting on the floor and needed some more time to think everything through. Well, JK couldn’t expect him to get over everything so quickly, which was why he abandoned his breakfast plans for a while and sat back comfortably beside Taehyung. Only then did the boy’s hold on his fingers loosened a little.

They sat there for a little longer and all that time JK could feel how Taehyung’s fingers gently caressed his skin. Just as if he wanted to remember it’s every inch, every little quirk, every small mole, and its rugged texture. Also, as it was Jungkook’s right hand, Taehyung sometimes followed the lines of the tattoo on his knuckles. It reminded him of a child who had to physically touch everything for the first time. It was somehow cute but also made JK wonder.

“Can I ask you a question?”

It made Taehyung stop for a second but not until he nodded in agreement. Jungkook could feel he became a little more tense which was reflected in his slightly hesitant touch on JK’s hand.  

“Through all these years… you have never really tried to get close to someone? It never occurred to you that maybe there is a chance for a change?”

Taehyung mentioned that he spent most of his life alone, avoiding people just in case, but it was hard to imagine that he had never had any doubts. That he never thought of trying to befriend someone, to see for himself if it was really that bad. That he had never had a desire to be a normal person. It seemed almost impossible.

And yet Taehyung felt quite uncomfortable with that question. His behavior alone was already an answer, that is why Jungkook wasn’t surprised when the boy muttered a second later, “Not… not really.”

“Then what about Bogum? Jimin told me you were friends.”

It was one of the first things Jimin told him about Taehyung. Back then it almost sounded as if everyone was jealous of Bogum for being Taehyung’s one and only friend. JK also remembered his conversation with the cheerful boy during Lisa’s party—the one conversation they had after the cigarette incident. He was Jungkook’s first source of information about Taehyung and a quite reliable one. It sounded like the boys were close at one point. And if so, Jungkook wanted to know how their so-called friendship worked.

“Ah, we weren’t exactly friends,” Taehyung shook his head a little. “But I think he tried to be my friend in a way.”

Jungkook stared at him as he knew there was something more to that story. He really wanted to know how it went between the boys, that’s why he was glad Taehyung sighed and continued with some explanations.

“As you can imagine, when I got transferred here, I was quite a talk in the town. I was the new kid and well, everyone wanted to know something about the mysterious and handsome guy at school. The very first few weeks were horrible. I had to talk to all of them and not appear rude even though I wanted them all to leave me alone for their own sake. Turning down everyone wasn’t easy but… at one point they all learned my ways. It took some time to establish what you know now—an image of the perfect guy who sits alone on his favorite bench.”

“Bogum was the first person who wasn’t overly curious. He never approached me or tried to get my attention. We met at the drawing classes when the teacher seated me next to him. We only spoke about sketches, art, and fashion. But what surprised me the most was that he had never treated me like the next golden boy. He always spoke to me casually, just as if I was his equal and not some… some mysterious creature. Maybe that is why it was so easy to talk to him.”

So apparently there were some people at this school who didn’t portray Taehyung only as a walking perfection. Jungkook knew he couldn’t be the only one who didn’t buy this one-flaw rule myth.

“I couldn’t allow myself to strip down completely from my perfect persona in front of him but… I didn’t have to pretend that much while talking to him,” Taehyung continued. “The moment I felt I talked too much, overshared, or simply didn’t want to go deep into some topic, I could just walk away. And Bogum never asked, never insisted on knowing the truth. He also never wanted to do the friendly stuff like going to the theatres or bars. It was easy to be around him because he was never too close.”

That was rather convenient behavior for someone who didn’t want others to know him. What he and Bogum once had was hardly a friendship, but rather some kind of fascination, maybe an experiment even. It was safe to have someone like Bogum; someone who didn’t care enough to call it an attachment but someone close enough not to go completely crazy from loneliness.

“He tried to be my friend but I think he didn’t try enough to convince me it is possible to have a normal relationship with others.”

And that was Taehyung’s biggest problem. He never had another person to show him how to live; how to behave in a society without being notoriously worried about hurting others; how to be selfish for once. But Jungkook couldn’t blame Bogum for not trying to get to Taehyung. No one knew something was going on. And JK wouldn’t have a clue either if he wasn’t a direct witness of Taehyung’s destined downfall.  

“I shouldn’t have left him so coldly but… I had to. I ignored him the whole summer because I wasn’t even sure if… if I’ll be back for the next year.”

The last words Taehyung whispered almost inaudibly. It probably meant that the summer wasn’t the best time for him. Jungkook wondered if he had thought about going to the bridge at that time already. And just the thought of that made him shiver, especially when Taehyung added a second later.

“There was no better way to make sure I won’t hurt him, you… you know.”

“I know.” Jungkook nodded and immediately pointed out, “It’s the same thing you tried to do with me.”

Taehyung looked at him closely, but quickly averted his gaze; maybe a little embarrassed by his past behavior. The behavior Jungkook knew all too well. The boy did it every time he tried to cut Jungkook from his life; especially that one morning at his apartment. The difference was that when Bogum let go and listened to Taehyung’s request, Jungkook did the opposite thing.

“Well, you… were far more invested than Bogum has ever been.”

Just as Taehyung said it he squeezed Jungkook’s hand even harder. Maybe it was to make sure that they were still sitting arm to arm, or maybe to underline no one was as close to Taehyung as Jungkook was right now. JK felt appreciated and he was so proud of himself that he had never given up on Taehyung. Even when he thought he could do it, his mind was still fixed on the boy, and for once in his life he was glad he was so stubborn.

On the other hand, Taehyung’s word choice made him wonder if the boy heard his conversation with Jimin. Invested. It was exactly the same word his best friend used to describe the state he was in. He could feel his cheeks getting hot from embarrassment. It was when he explained the whole Lisa date to Jimin and how he couldn’t focus on anything but Taehyung. To think the boy could hear it…

He wanted to come up with some excuse when suddenly Taehyung spoke up once again with great confidence in his voice, “So in a way, you’re my only friend.”

Jungkook had to blink a few times to understand the true meaning behind these words. But before he could think of a suitable response, he blurted out rather subconsciously, “I am?!”

“Ahh. I-I… I don’t know what it exactly means so…”

Taehyung got flustered by Jungkook’s surprised reaction and couldn’t find words to explain himself. He tried to look away and hide his face as if what he had said was something inappropriate. But it really wasn’t.

To be called Taehyung’s friend, Taehyung’s only friend—that was such an amazing feeling. It was something Jungkook fought for so long, even though at the beginning of their relationship he was so sure he wouldn’t like to be friends with someone like Taehyung. After so many obstacles and rejections, it finally happened.

They were friends.

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you,” Jungkook reassured him.

If the boy didn’t know what the friendship was and how it really worked then Jungkook was about to show him all of it—all that he had missed these past years of loneliness. And it seemed that Taehyung liked that idea as well. He nodded thoughtlessly and once again focused on his hand, stroking it gently.

“Then… can you tell me how you and Jimin become friends?”

Taehyung asked rather shily but he seemed greatly fascinated by this matter. Jungkook knew that he and Jimin had quite a history but at the same time, the blond was the closest friend he had ever had. If JK wanted to look for an example of friendship to present to Taehyung, then there was no better choice.

“Do you really want to know?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, hoping that Taehyung might change his mind but as it turned out he was quite determined to know the story. He nodded cheerfully and all JK had to do was take a deep breath—there was a lot to take in while talking about Jimin.

“Well, it was about seven years ago when I moved in here with my mum. She got a new job and a new boyfriend and it finally felt like we would live somewhere for more than a year. I was looking forward to these times until I met Jimin. Oh boy, he was such an insolent brat.”

Just an image of an eleven-year-old Jimin made him smile a little. He was smaller than he was now, though his height hadn’t changed that much. His hair was shorter and nearly trimmed by his mom, yet already had that fabulous golden shade. Now, Jimin liked to bleach them even more, and even if it suited him a lot, JK preferred their natural color.  

Back then the boy was already a beautiful child. The one all the aunts and moms admire at the park meetings. It was only a matter of time before Jimin would grow into the handsome man and well, that was exactly what had happened. Even his slightly feminine beauty turned out to be one of his greatest assets.

Ah, and that playful smile that never left his lips—the reason why Jungkook didn’t like Jimin the very first time they met.

“We hated each other for no particular reason,” Jungkook continued, remembering all that had happened while they both were still in elementary school. “I got so irritated each time I saw his pretty face strolling around the corridors with so much confidence as if he owned the place. I thought he was one of the rich kids who just had… everything.”

“I didn’t understand why was he so popular and why people liked him so much. He didn’t do any sports or have a significant hobby like me. And yet, each time he saw me he had to say something passive-aggressive about basketball enough to make me angry.”

“And at one point I finally snapped. We had a full fistfight in the middle of the patio and I had no intention of holding my punches. Well, he wasn’t holding back either. I quickly found out he knew how to fight. Maybe if I knew he trained martial arts I wouldn’t be so eager to start that fight. Either way, we managed to leave some nasty bruises on each other before the teacher came to the rescue.”

Until this day Jungkook believed he was the one who won that fight. Not that it mattered but it was somehow a matter of his honor. However, he was more than sure that if he asked Jimin about this fight, he would say he was the one who had won it. Ironic.

“Of course, we got detention that day. But it wasn’t a regular one. They gave us buckets of water, soap, and sponges and made us clean chairs and desks in one of the classrooms. To be honest, I was sure I’d try to drown him in that bucket but apparently, two hours went by without any additional argument.”

“We started cleaning in complete silence, still angry at each other. Then we started bickering and calling each other names which lasted a few long minutes. But in the end, we started talking. You know, about all the different topics we had never tried to talk about. And somehow it turned out we had quite a lot in common.”

“For a long time, I thought we were totally different but… we weren’t. Jimin liked sports, though different ones than me, he had the same video games as me, listened to the same music, and lived just a few blocks away. Suddenly I forgot why I even hated him so much. It must have been a great misunderstanding because it felt as if I was talking to my other half, to a brother I never had.”

“It might sound weird or almost unbelievable but… we left the classroom as best mates. And ever since that detention, we were almost inseparable. Sharing secrets, dreams, hopes for the future, all the heartbreaks and problems.”

He truly was like a brother to Jungkook. For as long as they were together everything was fine in his life. And then he left for Atlanta and everything started to fall apart, so much so he forgot about his best friend. Sometimes JK wondered what would have happened if he stayed here in Austin. Maybe then life would have been easier.

Or maybe he would meet Taehyung the same way Jimin met him in his sophomore year. Maybe he would treat him just like all the students did. Maybe he would also fall for the same trap and believe the boy was truly perfect. Maybe then he wouldn’t have doubts. Maybe he would already be on the basketball team. There would be no tryouts for him to go, no argument with Yoongi in front of the school, and Jungkook wouldn’t be the one going down this hellish bridge. Maybe Taehyung would not sit beside him right now.

The thought of it only made him shiver.

That’s why he grabbed Taehyung’s hand a little harder and smiled at him widely. There was no point in looking back now when all they had to focus on was their future.

Taehyung also pursed his lips into something that looked remotely like a smile. Jungkook knew he would have to wait a little longer to see the proper smile but he was more than sure that the wait would be worth the view.

“I guess you two still like to argue a lot,” Taehyung chuckled quietly, and only after a while did Jungkook understand the boy was referring to his relationship with Jimin. Well, there was no better example than all that had happened in the morning.

“Ah yes, sometimes we… have that fiery rivalry going on,” Jungkook admitted. “But I wouldn’t like to argue with anyone else.”

Even if most of his arguments with Jimin were quite intense JK knew that in the end they would both come to their senses and find common ground. Sometimes it was Jungkook apologizing, sometimes it was Jimin, but they always made up in the end. There was nothing that could make them angry at each other for that long.

“I always got the friendly vibe from Jimin,” Taehyung admitted. “Well, in my presence everyone tried to be friendly but… he’s just so charismatic. Being popular does him good, he likes that I can tell. And I know you said he’s like a brother to you and you had so much in common but in my eyes, you’re both so… different.”

Taehyung was right. Even though Jungkook claimed they were so inseparable there were many differences between them: how they looked, how they behaved, how they approached certain topics and problems, and which things they valued the most in life. At first sight, they truly were different. But in the end, it was all about the things that kept them together.

It was such a complex matter and JK didn’t know if there was a logical way to explain it to the boy who was unfamiliar with that concept. Then Jungkook realized there was a better example than he and Jimin; the one far closer to Taehyung than he had imagined.  

“Hmm, I would say it’s the same with us.”

“U-us?”

“Mhm. Look, we didn’t like each other in the beginning and it felt like we were from two different planets. We even had our fair share of arguments as well.”

Jungkook could easily list a few of them, starting from the fight over cigarettes and ending with the kitchen betrayal in Taehyung’s apartment, with an honorable mention of the argument during the rainstorm. In the very beginning, Jungkook despised Taehyung and his perfect persona while the boy started hating him the day of the events on the bridge—he admitted it himself just yesterday. There was no better start to their story.

“But it turned out we’re not that different, right?”

Jungkook looked him deeply in his eyes, making sure he understood him completely. They were different as can be; born in different cities, with different hobbies, priorities, and personalities. And yet there were a few things that only the two of them could understand about each other. Somehow Jungkook was the only person able to get to the real Taehyung and Taehyung was the only person able to make Jungkook discover something about himself that wasn’t there before.

At that point, JK started to believe they truly were meant to meet at this damn bridge.

“Just look how close we are right now.”

Jungkook squeezed his hand tighter to underline how close they were—not only physically but also emotionally. And even though JK knew there was an invisible bond between them from the evening on the bridge, then after yesterday’s confession it was even more tangible. Besides, they were friends right now and that was the most important change.  

“You’re right,” Taehyung whispered. “Thank you for trying to be my friend.”

Just as he said it, he snooped closer to Jungkook and comfortably rested his head on his shoulder. It was such a nice feeling. Jungkook could stop the time at this moment forever. He was finally sure that everything was going in the right direction.

And as much as he liked sitting on his apartment’s floor, he suddenly felt his stomach rumbling. Apparently, when all the emotions finally calmed down, all he could feel now was enormous hunger. He hadn’t eaten for quite long because of that weird stress taking over him and now his body responded with the doubled force. And if he felt like that, then Taehyung probably had it even worse.

He took advantage of Taehyung’s momentary inattention and slipped his hand out of his grip. It felt weird to have his hand free, without that gentle and warm touch of Taehyung’s hand. But what was even weirder was that Jungkook somehow cared about it.

“Come on.” Jungkook suddenly stood up, trying to light up the mood. “I'll make us breakfast. Do you like scrambled eggs?”

Taehyung seemed slightly confused by the sudden change of attitude. He stared at Jungkook for a moment until he finally shook his head and lowered it, looking at the floor again. 

"I'm not hungry."

Jungkook rolled his eyes—he could bet Taehyung would say that.

“But you have to eat something. And you know I happen to be quite a good cook, right?”

JK hoped it would be enough to convince Taehyung. Not that he wanted to brag but… he loved to cook and doing it for people he liked, not only for himself, was a huge satisfaction. Maybe that’s why he wanted the boy to finally take advantage of it and give him a culinary challenge. But foremost, he wanted Taehyung to just eat something—the boy had to be healthy in body to be healthy in mind.

Unfortunately, Taehyung wasn’t so sure of that as he pursed his lips in a small grimace. It looked as if he knew he should eat but at the same still wanted to refuse. Maybe he really wasn’t hungry or maybe he didn’t want to bother Jungkook even more. Whatever it was, JK hoped the boy would not listen to these little voices in his head and follow his stomach desires.

“Then maybe… Can I just have some banana milk?”

Once again, Jungkook was quite shocked by Taehyung’s request; so much so that he had to make sure he heard it properly.

“You want banana milk?”

“Umm, yeah,” he admitted shyly. “The one you gave me at the patio was quite tasty.”

It only reminded Jungkook of their conversations on the patio—the one after which he decided to give Taehyung his banana milk as a symbol the boy wasn’t in all this mess alone. Giving up that one bottle was a huge gesture for Jungkook. He waited quite a long time but he finally got the outcome he wished for back then.

“Then let’s get you one,” JK suggested and leaned over Taehyung to help him get up from the floor. The boy hesitated for a second but finally grabbed Jungkook’s hand and stood up. It only made Jungkook smile at him widely.

It would be nice to share something he liked so much with a person he liked so much as well.

Chapter Text

Taehyung was crying.

His eyes were red and puffy and full of fresh coming tears. Some of them had already fallen down his cheeks and some were still hanging on his long eyelashes. He didn’t try to fight them off, although a few quiet sniffles suggested he had been in a much worse state just a few minutes ago.

And even if Jungkook hated to see the boy crying, even if such an image ripped his heart apart, this time it was one of the most hopeful views JK had seen in a long time. Jungkook had never imagined he would be happy to see Taehyung all in tears like that but now he genuinely felt relieved; as if a huge weight fell off his shoulders. All because of the place they were in.

Taehyung left the therapist's office and his condition suggested that he had confided in someone qualified to help him. That was something JK hoped for so long and it finally happened. The boy finally sought professional help and judging from his rather unstable state everything went more smoothly than the last time. Even if Taehyung hadn’t confessed the whole story as of yet, then at least he had to say something. What mattered the most was that he didn't spend another hour in deadly silence.

It was a huge step forward, maybe that is why the boy’s tears didn’t feel so tragic. JK knew they were there because Taehyung was once again hurt by his confession. But he had to talk it through at least one more time if he wanted to think about a solid recovery.  

Still, seeing Taehyung so vulnerable was excruciatingly painful to watch. The way he timidly bit down his lip to keep it from shaking uncontrollably, the way his body was shivering from emotions, the way he was so confused as to what he should do now. The only good thing was that this time he wasn’t looking away.

Instead, he was staring right at Jungkook who waited for him in the hall.

Taehyung looked at him with a mix of emotions but there was something inside his eyes that wasn’t there before. But Jungkook didn’t have time to check what it actually was as Taehyung quickly approached him and snuggled into his right shoulder; a bit like a child who sought comfort in her mother in a stressful situation. This surprised JK a bit, but he almost immediately put his arm around the boy and gently patted him on the back. He wanted to give him much-needed support and show him that he could still cry on his shoulder if he needed it.

Jungkook, however, looked over the boy's shoulder at the woman leaving the office. They decided to change therapists; the last one was problematic—for both of them. At one point they sat down in JK’s kitchen with a cup of tea and went on checking all the possible specialists they could choose from. Well, it wasn’t an easy conversation but they finally made up their mind. And that’s how they ended up in the office of Mrs. Walter.

Jungkook had one quick conversation with the woman before Taehyung’s session and as it seemed just now another one wasn’t needed. When their eyes met, the woman only nodded expressively—it meant everything went according to plan. She smiled sincerely when he saw the two of them hugging as if this gesture ensured her that she left Taehyung under the right protection and care. Jungkook replied with a nod which allowed the woman to go back to her office.

They stood like that for a while until Taehyung finally calmed down and straightened up. He rubbed his face with his hands, sniffed, and took a deep breath. He seemed to be calm enough for Jungkook to propose, “Let's go for a smoke.”

He pointed toward the exit door to which Taehyung just nodded. He understood the message and a second later they were already outside.

Mrs. Walter's office was not that far away from Jungkook’s apartment. It was located in one of the luxury buildings in the suburbs next to the biggest park in the city. The surrounding views were astounding and so refreshing—maybe they helped with therapy for some of the patients. Maybe that’s why JK also wanted to take Taehyung somewhere outside to take a few deep breaths in the fresh air.

It was around 8 o’clock and the sun was already setting which created another quite pleasing view. Still, there were many people around them, walking their dogs or just taking in the last moments in the sun. Jungkook quickly found one unoccupied bench and sat down comfortably. He had been sitting on the couch in the office for over two hours but there was nothing comfortable about it. No matter how cozy the couch was, JK was too stressed to relax and think about such trivialities. All that mattered was what was happening with Taehyung inside the room.

So now, outside in the park and in the fresh evening air, Jungkook could finally breathe again—they both could.

Taehyung kept looking at his shoes and decided not to sit beside JK on the bench. He just stood over him with his hands inside the pockets of his pants as he nervously shuffled his feet. Jungkook didn’t try to convince him to sit. The boy was probably still overwhelmed with all that had happened inside the office and by standing he could control his emotions a little bit better. However, he was quite far from being calm.  

So Jungkook finally reached into the pocket of his jacket and shared his pack of cigarettes—he has been doing that lately as he wanted Taehyung to stop smoking these malodorous cigarettes. Smoking wasn't healthy in general, but it could have been a little less harmful. Fortunately, Taehyung seemed to like that change as Jungkook’s pack was the only one lying next to the ashtray on the small table on the balcony. It was one of the things they so willingly shared recently.

So when the smoke from both of their cigarettes began to float around them in the humid evening air, Jungkook finally asked, “How do you feel?”

It was quite natural to ask about it first. And Jungkook really wanted to know as what he saw in front of him just now suggested that the boy couldn't feel even remotely good after this session. Taehyung was calmer than before but Jungkook could easily tell he was distraught. His gaze was everywhere but the place it should be and JK quickly noticed his slightly shaky hand when he lit up his cigarette. That's why he wasn't surprised when Taehyung sighed a moment later.

“I feel like shit.”

JK knew that such a confession couldn't be easy for the boy. If telling him caused Taehyung so much trouble, then sharing the story once again with a stranger, even with the most qualified stranger, must have been extremely painful.

Still, hearing it from the boy’s lips was equally painful for Jungkook.

“Nothing new, to be honest,” Taehyung sighed and that attitude made JK alarmed.

“Hey, don’t be like that,” he tried the softer approach. “I know it’s shit right now but I told you it will get better, right?”

Jungkook couldn’t let him believe he was destined to feel so bad for the rest of his life. It was enough that he struggled so much till now. What was the most important thing, however, was for Taehyung to understand how important this visit was—that it was the only way to help him. Even if the boy didn’t tell the woman all the details of his story it was still a huge progress.  

“You told her, right?” JK asked to make sure, even though Taehyung’s behavior already gave him the answer. The boy pursed his lips and took another taste of his cigarette before he nodded gloomily. “Did you tell her everything?” 

“Not everything,” he mumbled, “but quite a lot.”

It was a good sign. Maybe an even better sign. Well, it couldn’t be worse than the last visit when Taehyung didn’t say a single word. Jungkook couldn’t have known what exactly went on in the office today but he was already so proud of Taehyung.

“It was such a strange feeling…”

“What?”

“I've never thought I would feel so comfortable talking to her.”

With Taehyung’s rather resentful approach to anything connected with mental health and therapists, it was a miracle that he had agreed to that visit. That’s why the fact he connected with the woman was such a surprising thing to hear. Even the boy was surprised by how well it went. And if he got such a feeling then JK couldn’t be happier they decided to visit Mrs. Walter. She seemed like the best choice possible.

Jungkook wanted to know something more, but on the other hand, he didn't want to put pressure on the boy. It was enough that he had one quite important conversation today. He didn’t have to go through it once again yet somehow he decided to continue.

“She didn't ask, she didn't push me, she didn't judge or gave me those looks, you know. She just sat there beside me and let me speak my heart out. Her approach was so neutral, so altruistic; as if she gave me her full attention and didn’t want anything in return.”

It sounded like a truly professional way of talking with such cases as Taehyung. Besides, if for most of his life, Taehyung had to turn down people who continuously wanted something for him, meeting someone who wanted him for himself and his story was a great change.

“The way she sat beside me on the couch felt as if we were sitting comfortably in her cozy apartment. The way she passed me some tissues and gave me supportive smiles each time I cried… Maybe you think it’s stupid but… for a split second I had this thought that maybe… maybe that’s how it feels to talk to your mom about your problems.”

He stopped for a second to taste his cigarette but Jungkook knew he got distracted by some of the memories from his past—probably those which were vastly different from what he wanted to experience. JK wanted to reassure him that it wasn’t stupid to think like this but Taehyung suddenly waved his hand to disperse the smoke in the humid air.

“But in the end, maybe it’s just my crazy talking. I don't really know how it feels. I've never… I’ve never experienced something like this.”

Jungkook remembered back when he was a kid, he sat on the couch with his mother and told her everything that had happened at school that day. Who did he talk to, who did he fight with, and what grades did he get—all that his mom asked him about. Conversations like this brought them closer and were quite important for Jungkook when he was growing up. At one point they stopped doing this and although his family relations were rather confusing, thinking about those times warmed Jungkook’s heart. Everything was easier back then.

But the realization that Taehyung had probably never experienced such sincere motherly love for most of his life, a relationship with a person who was supposed to love you unconditionally and support you in every aspect of your life, almost broke his heart. No wonder the boy was completely lost; why he didn't understand how to care about others and how others could care for him; why he was confused to as why Jungkook had offered him help and affection so many times.

Gosh, he really must have been lonely for such a long time.

Jungkook knew how it was to lose that precious bond with a mother but even one of his most tragic stories couldn't compare to what Taehyung had experienced. It amazed him how fate made them cross their paths. It seemed like they were the only two people in the world able to understand each other and their stories.

Although, as it turned out, Ms. Walter was close to understanding them as well. From everything Taehyung told him just now it seemed like they hit the bullseye—she was everything the boy needed to comfortably open up. That’s why JK hoped it would not end on only one visit.

“When do you meet again?” he asked, believing it was the case of when they were meeting and not if they were meeting again.

Taehyung stopped staring blankly at the sidewalk and raised his chin a little but he still wasn’t confident enough to look directly at Jungkook.

“We agreed on Saturday. She promised to spare me the whole day if I needed it so… so I can finish the story and share everything in the way I want to share it. She said we have a lot of time and… she will also.... um… bring some sandwiches for lunch.”

The last sentence surprised Jungkook a little but in a positive way—same for Taehyung’s faint or maybe embarrassed smile as he was saying it. Just as if he didn’t expect that someone could make such a nice gesture for him—for the real version of him. On the other hand, it seemed like the boy was really looking forward to that meeting. That was such a reassuring thing to see. Jungkook believed that the woman would be able to help him for real.

“She seems nice.” JK smiled. He talked to the woman only for a while but apparently, the promising vibe he got from her wasn't just a fake welcoming stunt.

“She is but…” Taehyung didn't seem convinced. “It still feels weird to talk about it with someone so distant. It's completely different from talking to you.”

“Well, I don't provide sandwiches.”

Jungkook decided to joke around just to cheer him up a little. Yet he didn't expect to hear a rather serious follow-up to his playful remark.

“You provide way more than that.” 

For a moment, he stared blankly at Taehyung who looked him deep into his eyes for the first time since they left the therapist’s office. Jungkook felt kind of starstruck as if those words paralyzed him in some way. They weren’t anything special but some kind of meaning hidden behind them was so precious for Jungkook. Taehyung could have thanked him directly for all he had done for his sake (though it wasn’t what Jungkook wanted) but it still wouldn’t compare to the feeling he got just now.

He was appreciated; all his actions and fighting for Taehyung’s life were appreciated, and that was one of the greatest awards he could receive. Everything he had done so far was just what Taehyung needed even though Jungkook didn't believe he was providing much: he listened to Taehyung and stood by his side when he needed it the most even if it meant they would sit in silence for quite a long time; he didn’t consider himself the best hugger but maybe his attempts were enough to calm Taehyung in some way.

JK believed anyone could do the same, maybe even better than him—there wasn’t a particular set of skills needed to perform them all well. But apparently, Taehyung needed just the right person to show him those most basic things.

And knowing that he was that person for Taehyung took his breath away. Jungkook could only stare into his sad but beautiful eyes and thank the destiny the boy believed in so much that it allowed them to meet. 

It was such a strange feeling, maybe that's why he blurted out a moment later without even realizing it, “Do you want to come over?”

JK didn't know why he said it. On the one hand, it seemed natural—after all, the boy often spent nights at his place, especially after several difficult events and evenings. However, this time it wasn’t about making sure that Taehyung wasn’t alone. This time Jungkook felt as if he needed to have him close—not for the boy's sake, but simply for his own.

And as he realized how selfish-driven this request was, he quickly shook his head to regain some senses. What are you even thinking about? he scolded himself internally. It was supposed to be all about him, not you, dumbass.

But it was too late to turn things around as Taehyung averted his gaze and responded quietly, “I don't know. I just feel like… I should be alone for some time.”

It was quite a strange answer and Jungkook didn't understand where it came from. Maybe it was once again his coping mechanism trying to separate him from others the moment he went through some harder times. Whatever it was, Jungkook couldn’t allow him to spend this night alone with his crazy thoughts. So regardless of how JK felt about his latest request, he had to insist.

“We don't have to talk. We can just be there in complete silence for as long as you need it,” JK clarified. He didn't want to interrogate Taehyung or go deeper into the topics he started with his therapist today. He just wanted to give him some more support, a closeness the boy hadn't felt for so long. 

“I don't want you to feel lonely anymore.”

Jungkook was so fed up with seeing Taehyung hurt that he had to finally do something. Sometimes all that was needed was the presence of the other person; a feeling that someone was by your side and that was exactly what he wanted to give Taehyung. The boy should learn how to confide and rely on others instead of trying to do everything alone. Jungkook promised him he would look for those happy moments but he also wanted for them to look for them together.

But maybe by asking him to come over, Jungkook wanted to make sure he himself wouldn’t be alone as well.

Jungkook waited for the response much longer than he expected. Taehyung wasn’t overly eager to answer nor was his behavior particularly suggestive. He just smoked his cigarette in silence with his gaze locked somewhere on the sidewalk. Still, Jungkook was more than sure he was intensely thinking about what should he do now. JK waited patiently, though he wanted to insist further—all just to make the boy agree.

Finally, Taehyung stubbed out his cigarette against the metal casing of the trash can and threw the butt away. With his free hand, he adjusted the bag that had slightly slipped off his shoulder and if Jungkook wasn’t careful enough, he would have missed his quiet but confident words.

“Let's go then.”

Taehyung didn’t look back; he simply turned around and went straight to the bus stop. Jungkook was confused for a second but he quickly understood that Taehyung had finally agreed to go with him. He tried to suppress that small boy who was jumping triumphally with happiness somewhere within him just to act rationally at this moment. He immediately got up from the bench, finishing his cigarette the same way Taehyung did, and hurried after him.

It took them less than half an hour to reach his apartment. During that time not a single word was spoken, same for the moment they entered the living room. Taehyung seemed to like the silence around him, which is why Jungkook decided to respect his decision and, just as he said himself, don’t disturb him in any way.

Besides, they seemed to know how to communicate without the words. Each of them knew exactly what they should do. Jungkook made two lemon teas in no time and Taehyung went to change his clothes into something more comfortable. Although, the truth was that he probably didn’t want to get one of his favorite shirts to get wrinkled. Taehyung once again wore this magnificent sunflower shirt. Maybe it was the lucky shirt in the end? Well, today it definitely worked.

JK placed both mugs on the small table in the living room and sat down on the couch. He was tired but he managed to find some additional strength to watch another replay of one of the matches—he never said no to quality basketball time.

Taehyung joined him a few minutes later, already wearing one of his T-shirts—the very same one JK gave him the last time he stayed overnight. At that point, Jungkook decided it already was the boy’s piece of clothing together with the infamous purple hoodie. He should probably make Taehyung a separate space for his clothes in his closet—it would be much easier like that.

Either way, Taehyung grabbed his mug and simply sat down beside him on the couch. He curled his legs up and glued his hands to the mug as if he was trying to absorb as much heat as it was possible. Jungkook could tell the boy was cold but instead of putting on a hoodie or doing anything really Taehyung just sat on the couch as if cupping the mug so tightly was the only way to stay warm.

So at one point, Jungkook got irritated by the careless and slightly weird behavior of the boy. He couldn’t stand it any longer that was why he stood up and brought him the gray blanket. At first, Taehyung was surprised by the sudden gift but he ended up wrapped in the blanket a second later.

Jungkook chuckled, He truly is a lost child, huh?

So when Taehyung once again focused on his lemon tea, Jungkook focused on the match. Of course, he glanced to the side from time to time, to check what was happening with the boy. Fortunately, it wasn’t anything problematic. Taehyung just stared at his tea and drank it with little sips but his expression was rather hard to read.

At one point, however, when he already finished his drink and left the mug on the table, Jungkook noticed his eyelids became heavy and the boy struggled to keep them open for any moment longer. That was one of the most adorable fights JK had witnessed and he hoped it would be the only one he experienced in Taehyung’s life. There was no need for any other more serious ones.

So when he caught the boy with his eyes closed once again, he finally broke the silence.

“Hey, you can lie down in my bed if you’re tired,” he proposed, knowing that was the best solution anyway. If the sleep came naturally to the boy, he had to take advantage of it.

Taehyung slowly opened his eyes, although it seemed like he was still in that weird half-awake, half-asleep state. He mumbled a few words in agreement, however, his body did the complete opposite. The boy took the whole lying down quite literally: he slid down the couch in such a way that a moment later his head landed directly on Jungkook’s thigh.

JK was slightly surprised but in the end, he decided that this night he could be the best pillow Taehyung had ever had. He sat more comfortably, making sure the boy felt comfortable as well, and tugged the blanket over Taehyung. The boy sighed a few times, but it wasn’t a long time until Jungkook heard his steady breathing, suggesting he had finally fallen asleep.

And with the boy lying on his thighs, Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from looking down at his beautiful face. Even if he got his beloved sport played just in front of him, JK still couldn’t focus on anything other than Taehyung. His slightly flushed cheeks and that velvety skin, almost as if he was straight out of the luxury brand cosmetic commercial. Those long eyelashes that pointed down to a few dark dots on his face. Somehow even the placement of his moles was attractive. Especially that one on the lower lip seemed to be pretty much tempting.

Maybe that is why Jungkook gave in and gently put his hand in the boy’s hair. He liked to play with them so much that he couldn’t stop himself from doing it once again. He gently stroked his hair, putting it behind his ear and he didn’t even notice when subconsciously he was doing so for the rest of the match.

So when they played some flashy adverts on the screen, suggesting the match was over, Jungkook could no longer pretend he wasn’t sleepy as well. He could feel how heavy his eyelids were and no matter how badly he wanted to sit with Taehyung like that for a little bit longer, he knew he had to go to bed.

So he started to slowly squirm on the couch as he tried to find the best possible way to stand up without waking Taehyung up. Unfortunately, he already did it with his movements so there was no need to be careful any longer. He sat up properly and so did Taehyung who hesitantly raised his head to check what was going on. In response to the boy's sleepy look, Jungkook only nodded toward the bedroom and finally got up from the couch.

Surprisingly, Taehyung took his blanket and followed him to the bedroom.  

Jungkook lay down on the left side of the bed and a moment later Taehyung joined him on the other side. The boy didn’t ask for permission nor was he confused as to what he should do now. He just confidently took the place beside Jungkook and placed his head on his torso while gently wrapping his hand around his waist. JK made sure that his hand was coiled around Taehyung’s body putting the boy even closer to his chest. At the same time, he could still touch his hair and play with them with his finger. Maybe that is why such a position was so enjoyable for both of them.

And Jungkook didn’t feel uncomfortable about it, not even for a second. They were full-time cuddling but there was nothing awkward about that touch. JK hugged Taehyung so many times at those most crucial moments that it had become something natural for him. He could remember that the last time the boy slept beside him in this bed JK was slightly panicking. But now? There was practically no space between them and Jungkook was calmer than ever.

Jungkook liked it and if this was a reward for everything he had to go through in recent weeks, then he would gladly accept it. 

He turned off the bedside lamp and made himself more comfortable, ready to sleep. And when he was about to drift off, he heard a quiet whisper that escaped Taehyung’s mouth.

“I don't feel lonely anymore.”

He didn't know if he said it consciously or if he just muttered it in his sleep, but Jungkook knew that those words specifically touched his heart. They were probably the most beautiful words he had ever heard.

Jungkook was glad that he turned the light off. If it wasn’t so dark in the room and Taehyung was a little more conscious, he would certainly notice his cheeks turning into the embarrassed shade of pink. Therefore, JC just stroked the boy’s head once again and, for the first time in a long time, he fell asleep with a big smile on his lips. 

Chapter Text

It has been a month since Jungkook saw Taehyung crying in front of the therapist's office.

It didn’t mean the boy stopped crying at all; he still did it occasionally during dark and rainy nights. However, each time he had Jungkook by his side. He always offered him a comforting shoulder to cry on and a reassuring hug whenever he needed it. And as it turned out it helped a lot.

The boy became a lot calmer in recent days so they could come back to a relatively normal life. Taehyung spent most of the afternoons in Jungkook’s kitchen, studying and preparing for the approaching finals. In fact, there were more books in the kitchen than the actual cooking stuff, except for the dirty teacups—they were everywhere around. Taehyung claimed it was the place where he could focus best on his work. Of course, Jungkook let him stay there, although, he believed the library would suit him even better than his small and cluttered apartment.  

Sometimes JK also helped the boy study. No matter how absurd it sounded and how little Jungkook knew about history and art, let alone about the history of art, he found a way to be a part of this whole studying process. He simply found a random picture in one of the textbooks or the Internet and showed it to the boy, expecting him to elaborate on the given topic. He questioned him like a really strict teacher and repeating all the material aloud definitely strengthened the boy’s knowledge and made it a bit more enjoyable.

It was much worse the other way around. Taehyung didn't give up on his word and kept harassing Jungkook with math problems until he passed all the failed tests. JK didn't do exceptionally well, but he knew enough not to spend extra time with the hated mathematician. And that was the point from the very beginning.

So he had more time to focus on basketball. The first match of the season was in no time at all and Jungkook wanted to be in the best form possible. He cared about the team and its potential success. He wanted to be in the first squad as well which is why he trained twice as hard. So much so that even Namjoon appreciated his efforts. And there was no better way to raise his morals than to hear a few words of appreciation from the team’s captain.

Jungkook was remotely happy and motivated to work, especially when he saw Taehyung regularly meeting with his therapist. He kept his promises and didn’t let go of his therapy. Jungkook went with him for a few first sessions but over time, the boy started to go there alone. There was no risk of him suddenly changing his mind or running away from the office, so JK didn’t have to keep an eye on him all the time.

Instead, after each session, they sat together in the kitchen with a cup of lemon tea and talked about what happened behind the closed doors of the office. Taehyung repeated his own words and all that the woman advised or tried to tell him. Sometimes he needed a second opinion, which Jungkook was happy to give him. Sometimes JK had to convince him when he doubted if the woman was right. Such conversations were extremely important that’s why Jungkook always spared some time to spend with Taehyung after each session.

And in the end, it finally paid off. Over time, Jungkook saw some improvement. Of course, it wasn't anything groundbreaking, but even the smallest change in the boy's approach to certain aspects of life counted. The fact that Taehyung acted quite naturally in his presence was nothing unusual, but it seemed that he was becoming more and more at ease with the true version of himself. He was still pretty much confused but there was something in his eyes indicating he believed there was a better future in front of him. That not everything in his life was bad. That he wasn’t destined to do bad things and be a horrible person.

He was on his way to accept himself the way he was, to understand who he really was. Of course, Taehyung was still far from loving or even liking himself but at least he finally saw it was possible. Jungkook wanted to witness the final change in person—only then his mission would be completed.

As much as JK adored the boy who visited him almost every day, he couldn’t say the same about the other persona Taehyung chose whenever he was at school or anywhere else. It was too early to get rid of the walking perfection image, especially at school where almost everyone was so used to seeing Taehyung in his ideal state. He was reluctant to believe he could change the way viewed him, that’s why he kept sitting on his favorite bench at the patio.

Jungkook never bothered him. He didn’t want to make any unnecessary rumors which surely would not help the case. Besides, they saw each other in the afternoons so they left the school hours for themselves and the rest of their friends. As it turned out it was the right way. Last week Taehyung was seen spending the lunch break with the guys from the drama club, which of course was a huge event for the school community. Even more when it happened once again the following day. The boys seemed to enjoy his company and so did Taehyung.

And although Jungkook would subconsciously prefer to squeeze somewhere between them, he was happy that the boy had finally started opening up to others; that JK wasn’t the only person he could talk to for a little longer. That was exactly what the therapist advised Taehyung to do—to talk to people as much as he could and feel comfortable with. To know their stories, to learn how they perceive certain things and behaviors, so he could have a good comparison.

Exceptionally, Jimin wasn't particularly inquisitive and rarely asked for details. Jungkook could tell he wanted to ask but somehow the blond managed to stop himself from investigating any further. He continuously offered his help but there wasn’t anything in particular with which he could help them.

So instead Jungkook finally invited him over for a night of videogames and pizza. They stayed up until dawn, just like in the good old days, and JK couldn’t remember when was the last time he had so much fun with his best friend. On one of the following weekends, Jungkook visited Jimin during his family dinner. His parents were delighted to see him again although they seemed surprised by JK’s rather drastic transformation—especially his looks. Nevertheless, they welcomed him with big smiles on their lips just like the very first time he met them as a kid. It was such a warm feeling.

In those past few weeks, Jungkook could finally be himself once again. And, gosh, he liked it so much.

But there was one thing in particular he liked the most. It was all about those late evenings and nights at his house when Taehyung visited him and decided to stay overnight. It happened most of the time as the boy rarely came back home; it was easier to sleep at Jungkook’s place than wander the streets at night. At one point the boy stopped bringing his favorite blanket and simply lay down beside Jungkook in his bed. It seemed to be the best way to make them both calm enough to fall asleep in no time at all. Ever since that one night neither of them had problems with sleep.

And they didn't even notice when they ended up wrapped in each other's arms just before falling asleep. It didn’t matter who went to bed at what hour—their sleepy bodies seemed to find each other between the sheets every time. As if they refused to sleep if they weren’t close enough.

However, no matter how pleasurable such cuddling was, Taehyung always sneaked out of the apartment early in the morning. He came back home to get ready for school and be on time for his first classes. So each time Jungkook woke up in his bed, the space beside him was empty. He didn’t even have a clue at what time the boy usually left his apartment. Somehow Taehyung managed not to wake him up. Not even once. Sometimes he also left him fresh bottles of banana milk in the kitchen. Jungkook had no idea how it was possible.

And so it was one of the evenings they sat in the kitchen. Taehyung was making some notes while Jungkook was going through pages of one of the textbooks trying to find something remotely interesting. He was pretty much impressed that Taehyung managed to remember almost all that was written here—JK still saw it as some kind of dark magic. In the end, he stopped at one of the pages and showed it to the boy.

Taehyung only looked at it briefly as he was more focused on his notes but apparently, he didn’t need to check it twice to answer.

“Easy. That’s Renoir. Le Déjeuner des canotiers. Somewhere between 1880 and 1881.” He shrugged and waved his hand. “Show me something difficult.”

Except Jungkook didn't know what was supposed to be difficult and what not. For him, everything was difficult. But for Taehyung? It seemed that the boy was the textbook himself. There was no point in questioning him any longer. He was more than well-prepared for the finals. If he doesn't win, it would certainly mean that everything was fixed from the very beginning.

“That's it. You're the absolute best.” Jungkook closed the book and threw it on the countertop. “I give up. There’s nothing more I can help you with. It only makes me tired and—”

He didn’t even finish as he started yawning uncontrollably. This only provoked a sympathetic look from Taehyung.

“You should go to bed,” he suggested. “If you fall asleep here, you will only disturb me with your snoring.”

Jungkook frowned. He wasn’t sure if it was more because of Taehyung’s words or the confident way he said them. What was that supposed to mean?

“I do not snore.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I’m—”

“Should I record you?”

Taehyung finally raised his head from his notes and looked directly at Jungkook. If he thought it would help him convince Jungkook then he certainly was right. JK stopped mumbling for a second as if the boy’s piercing gaze almost paralyzed him. He was so confident that JK didn’t know how to fight back—that wasn’t a usual situation.

In the end, Taehyung was the only person who could know if Jungkook truly snored. There was no one else sleeping by his side during some of the night—Taehyung was the only source of information and a rather reliable one. There was no point in lying about something so trivial.

Nevertheless, Jungkook felt a little embarrassed. There was nothing wrong in snoring but he always associated it with older and much more tired-of-life people. Needless to say, he wasn’t one of those people. And to think Taehyung could hear him or even record his snoring made him a little shy.

“Okay, then maybe I snore.”

“Don’t worry. It’s a minor snoring. Even cute in a way.”

Taehyung chuckled and smiled faintly just before he once again looked down at his notes.

And Jungkook didn’t know what should he focus on more. On that faint smile? The one so far away from the proper one JK was still yet to see but somehow more cheerful than all of the previous ones he saw. On that adorable chuckle? On his reassuring words? Or maybe on the fact that he just had been called cute? What did it actually mean?

“Don't you have your first match this weekend?” Taehyung asked, changing the topic.

It made Jungkook a little confused, especially when the boy’s expression quickly changed back to his highly focused state. Just as if that one sweet comment came out of nowhere. For a second Jungkook even though he had imagined it, but he couldn’t be that crazy, right?

“Ahh, yes, yes,” he cleared his throat. “The match is on Saturday.”

Which was exactly two days from now. He really had to be well-rested and physically ready for his debut. He wanted to give his absolute best and taking care of his body was one of the crucial aspects of such preparation. That’s why he cared about having a decent amount of sleep this past week—everything mattered.

“Then you should really have some sleep,” Taehyung tried to convince him once again. “I'll stay a little bit longer. I have a history test tomorrow and there’s still some material I have to go through.”

Taehyung pointed to his notes and one of the textbooks in front of him. Not only did he study for the history of art finals, but he also had to keep an eye on his other grades. There were parts of that walking perfection that he couldn’t let go of, no matter how hard he tried. However, Jungkook was happy that this was that undroppable aspect—out of so many bad habits this once seemed like a win on the lottery.

Besides, Jungkook knew how much Taehyung cared about that University in New York and a potential scholarship. He did all he could to get the best grades and kept working on his projects and designs. And to see the boy so engaged in something was a true blessing. The passion in his eyes whenever he studied or especially when he was sketching something in his notebook made JK’s heart grow bigger. He was so proud of him. Finally, Taehyung had been doing something he liked.

Maybe it was exactly that moment of happiness they were both searching for. Because when Taehyung seemed to be remotely happy whenever he had a pencil in his hand, Jungkook felt happy just by watching him draw.

“You’re right,” Jungkook sighed and got up from the chair. “Just don’t stay up too late, okay?”

He asked but Taehyung didn’t seem to notice with his nose already in the books. He only hummed something in agreement but Jungkook knew the boy would not go to sleep anytime soon. That’s why JK grabbed the kettle and poured some fresh hot water into the cup with his half-drunk tea. Only this made Taehyung look up. He said a shy thank you and wrapped his fingers around the cup.

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief and finally went to bed, leaving Taehyung in good hands with his favorite lemon tea.

⊷⊶

A familiar yet much-hated melody of his alarm clock woke him up. Jungkook couldn’t help but growl from annoyance. He was already so tired in the morning and he couldn’t remember when was the last time he felt that bad at this hour. And he couldn’t find a good reason for his state either. He went to bed at a decent hour, drank a lot of water, and didn’t overwork himself too much.

So why am I so freaking tired?

He tried a five-minute long nap hoping it would somehow save him but in vain. It didn’t help—only made everything even worse. So when there was no other solution available (and unfortunately skipping school today wasn’t an option), he gave up and accepted his faith—he had to get up.

Jungkook wanted to turn to the other side when he realized something was blocking him. Only after a while did he realize it was a hand lying on his stomach and when he looked up he noticed Taehyung still cuddled up next to him. The boy was sleeping blissfully; his lips were slightly parted and his cheeks were flushed with a lovely shade of pink. He couldn’t see his eyes as they were covered partly by his fluffy hair and partly by the pillow. What he could feel, however, was his steady breathing somewhere close to his shoulder.

Jungkook didn’t expect to see the boy beside him this morning. He always managed to sneak off at some point and JK never knew when he did it. Apparently, today he skipped his routine or maybe he simply overslept. There was no way in which he could come back home to change and be on time for the first classes. In fact, if they didn’t want to be late they had to start getting ready just now.

So Jungkook knew he had to wake the boy up but he didn’t really want to do it. He liked watching him sleep as there weren’t many times at which he could do it. There was something so calming about it. It automatically made JK calm as well.

Maybe this morning isn’t as bad as I thought, Jungkook smiled to himself while watching Taehyung’s chest going up and down with each steady breath he took.

And only when he felt a pleasing warmth emanating from the boy’s body, did he realize how close they were; how tightly Taehyung hugged him with his arm. Was it always like this? Did they really spend the night cuddled so tightly? Did it happen every night Taehyung stayed the night?

Each morning he woke up the boy was already gone so Jungkook never experienced waking up beside him. Never realized what their nights looked like. And they surely weren’t just the friendly nights. No friends stayed cuddled like this for the whole night. And not only once but quite regularly.

So now when it suddenly became clear Jungkook got flustered. He could feel his cheeks getting hot and his heart beating weirdly faster. That was such an unsteady feeling—the one Jungkook never felt in his life. He didn’t know where it suddenly came from. The only people next to whom he woke up in the past were those whom he was sleeping with. Whatever they had with Taehyung was far from such a relationship and yet he felt more uncomfortable than after the craziest one-night stands.

Jungkook had to get rid of that feeling which is why he decided to finally wake Taehyung up. He propped himself up on one shoulder and grabbed the boy’s wrist to gently unglue his hand from his stomach. It allowed him to sit up properly and watch over a still sleeping boy whose head only slid down even dipper between the pillows when Jungkook’s body wasn’t around anymore.

JK tried to softly call his name but it wasn’t enough to wake Taehyung up. He nudged him on the shoulder three times but it didn’t help either. So before he could think about it he reached to his face and gently brushed his hair behind his ear. And somehow only that gesture woke the boy up.

Taehyung slowly opened his eyes but only a little—just to see what was happening around him. However, with his eyes opened like that Jungkook wasn’t sure if he even saw a thing. It looked as if he was afraid they would burn from the daylight. Maybe that was why he rubbed his face twice and only then did he raise his head to see better. 

He looked like he was still asleep. His hair was going in all possible directions and simply from the way it was unorganized, Jungkook guessed the boy must have washed it in the evening and forgot to blow it dry. But Jungkook wasn’t complaining. He liked the way it looked. It made the boy even more adorable and JK didn’t know if he could ever get sick of seeing Taehyung like that.

And when Taehyung’s eyes were following all around the place they finally caught Jungkook’s attentive gaze. They were staring at each other intensely and neither of them was able to look away. It was as if they were strongly connected in that one moment. Taehyung’s black eyes were so addictive and JK wanted to solve the mystery that was hidden inside them. And the longer he was looking into them the stronger the feeling he got just a second ago grew. It was once again that thing that had a strong hold on his heart and Jungkook was more than sure he forgot how to breathe.

As much as he loved his eyes at one point Jungkook dropped his gaze to the boy’s lips. They were quite fascinating as well. They were slightly open as if the boy was still trying to catch his breath after such an unpleasant awakening, and they had a shade of pink Jungkook had never seen on them before—something around pastel pink, not that different from one of the boy’s fancy shirts. They were dry but JK could bet they were also soft. They seemed to have all the best qualities.

Maybe that was why Jungkook got one quite crazy idea bothering his mind. He tried not to listen to his stupid desires but there was something irresistible about that damn lips. So much so that he stopped controlling himself and leaned over a little. Only then did he realize what he was trying to do. He panicked and immediately turned back.

“We should get up if we don't want to be late,” he said and stood up quickly.

He had to look away before the boy could see how flustered he got. Jungkook hoped Taehyung was too sleepy to notice his weird behavior. Oh god, it would be a disaster if he got caught—the situation would get even more awkward than it already was.

Jungkook stood in front of his closet trying to choose something to dress in but the truth was he wanted to calm down so badly before he could face Taehyung again. And he wasn’t even sure if he could be able to look at him right now. He felt so embarrassed for what he tried to do.

Only when he steadied his breath and raging heartbeat did he dare to glance at Taehyung. The boy rolled over the sheets in a sleepy manner which might suggest he wasn’t aware of what was running on Jungkook’s mind just a second ago. JK felt better when Taehyung casually reached for his phone which was still lying on the nightstand.

“What time is it?” he mumbled to himself and lifted the phone above his head. He unlocked it in the air and as soon as the screen lit up, Taehyung's eyes opened wide. “Shit.”

With that short comment, he started to dig himself out of the bed, which itself was quite a funny process. Whenever one was in a hurry, the bed, sheets, and blankets somehow always made it difficult to get up. Taehyung got tangled in his gray blanket and if he wasn’t careful enough he would surely fall on the ground quite painfully. Fortunately, he managed to get up without being harmed—that would be a shame.

“Ugh. I can't believe I overslept,” he growled as he began to gather his belongings left around the room.

“Trust me, it was quite surprising to see you as well,” JK admitted.

That emotional rollercoaster he got since the moment he woke up beside Taehyung was a ride he would never forget. He could tell himself he was already calm but the truth was he was still thinking about it somewhere in the back of his head. However, he would like not to talk about it with Taehyung. Preferably even forgot that he had ever had similar thoughts.

Jungkook finally managed to turn around and face Taehyung but the boy was too focused on deciding what to do now that it seemed like he completely ignored him. Maybe for the better—it was easier like that.

“You forgot to put the alarm on?” Jungkook asked curious as to why Taehyung overslept.

“I don’t know, Jungkook. It doesn’t matter now,” he said hurriedly but JK could tell he was pretty much irritated by this whole situation. “What matters is that I won't make it on time if I go home right now.”

“Can't you skip the first one?”

It seemed like a reasonable thing to do. If Jungkook overslept, he would probably skip the first classes and go for the next ones. Or simply skipped the whole day—that sounded more like him. However, it was Taehyung they were talking about. The forever-perfect Taehyung couldn’t just skip the classes. He had never done this unless it was absolutely necessary and today wasn’t one of those special days.

“No way. I have a history exam,” Taehyung was panicking and he immediately rushed toward the living room.

“Hey!” JK managed to stop him at the door. “Just put it on. It’s not a formal shirt but it will fit.”

Jungkook reached into his closet, pulled out a clean white T-shirt, and threw it toward the boy. Taehyung caught it at the last possible moment before the material touched the floor. Then he looked up to give Jungkook a questioning look. Well, the answer was pretty obvious. If Taehyung wanted to go to school straight from his house, he couldn’t show up there in the same clothes as yesterday—that would be scandalous. JK didn’t have anything fancy enough to match Taehyung’s style but a plaid white T-shirt matched everything. Especially the brown fabric pants Taehyung wore yesterday.

The boy seemed to understand it as well. For a split second, he looked as if he was considering all the other options but in the end, he simply nodded and smiled in shy gratitude. The moment later he was already on his way to the bathroom which allowed Jungkook to get dressed as well.

He chose one of his favorite black T-shirts as he didn’t have to worry about his exposed tattoos lately. Jimin advised him to buy a sports arm sleeve which was way more convenient to wear than a full long-sleeved T-shirt. Jungkook couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought of it earlier. He just carried the sleeve in his pocket and used it only when it was needed not to piss off the mathematician and other teachers. The moment he was out of school, he could easily free his beloved tattoos.

Jungkook was ready in no time so he hurried to the kitchen. There was no time for a full breakfast or his must-have morning coffee. Fortunately, Jungkook was already pretty much awake with all those weird thoughts going around his head. He didn’t need a cup of coffee to mess with his heart rate even more. That’s why he just grabbed two banana milk bottles from the fridge—Taehyung had become a fan of it as well. 

The boy was back in the living room in a few minutes but he was still struggling with the T-shirt. It was way oversized on Jungkook so it was twice as big on Taehyung. The sleeves which were supposed to be short almost covered his elbows and the material was long enough to reach half of his tights. It looked as if Taehyung wore a nightgown maybe that was why Taehyung tried to fit it inside his pants. It wasn’t an easy task as it took some time to tug everything inside and seal it with a brown leather belt.

Taehyung made sure the material around his hips didn’t look too baggy and that his golden necklace wasn’t covered by the collar—it looked way better exposed than hidden underneath the white T-shirt. Only when it seemed like he was ready to go did he raise his head to look at Jungkook. However, Jungkook was more than sure that all the boy could see was his hair.

His black waves fell on his forehead and almost completely covered his eyes. They were puffier than JK had ever seen them which only made Taehyung look like a walking black cloud. There was no time to style it in any way nor Jungkook had anything in his possession to help the boy with it. He was on his own and maybe that is why he decided to let it go and focus on going to school as fast as possible.

So the look he chose today—a cozy and homey one, was more than adorable and Jungkook wasn’t sure if the school community was ready to see Taehyung like this. Of course, by being the walking perfection the boy set the bar quite high when it came to his outfits and presentation. But the absolutely cute way he looked right now was probably far more dangerous than any of his formal images. For a second Jungkook felt blessed to be able to witness it a few times already.

There was no mistake: the school’s community would not shut about Taehyung for the rest of the day. For once the upcoming basketball match would not be the talk of the town.

Jungkook grabbed his backpack and threw the banana milk bottle at Taehyung before heading to the door. He didn’t want to look at this version of the boy longer than it was necessary because he was absolutely sure it would only make these weird thoughts come back to his head once again. And he couldn’t allow himself to go crazy right now. JK couldn’t believe it but he would rather see the walking perfection image of Taehyung going to school by his side—it would be way easier to survive this morning.

But he had to deal with what he had in front of him right now. And unfortunately, it was heavenly cute Taehyung walking in the direction of that horrible bridge.

Jungkook completely forgot that their bus stop was on the other side of the bridge. They could have gone for the one on that side of the river but it would take them even longer and Taehyung couldn’t be late today. At that exact moment, Jungkook regretted not buying that second helmet. It has been on his mind for so long and now it would help more than ever. They would be at school in no time at all, although it wouldn’t end without tons of gossip.

How scandalous would it be if he came to school on his motorcycle with Taehyung tightly pressed to his back? Just the thought of it made him sick from all the uncomfortable questions he would have to answer. But maybe the feeling of having Taehyung hugging him from behind would be enough to recompensate him for all these rumors.

He liked the idea but he quickly calmed down and came back to Earth—he couldn’t afford to be distracted right now. Not when they were about to step on the bridge. Jungkook believed Taehyung wouldn’t have a problem crossing the bridge but at this place, absolutely everything could happen so JK had to be wary.  

Fortunately, this morning was already so bright, with a lot of pleasingly hot sunlight, a small refreshing breeze, and that overly happy aura when everything in nature just felt right. It was how Jungkook remembered this bridge when he was a kid—with amazing views and colorful padlocks all around. The hollow image of that evening was gone just as if nothing bad had ever happened here. It was hard to even believe it was the same place. But maybe it was a good sign.

Taehyung confidently walked on the bridge. He didn’t hesitate or slow his pace; he just walked beside Jungkook with his head held high. JK knew the boy tried not to look around and just focus on getting to the other side without panicking; kind of like someone afraid of heights.

Only somewhere halfway across the bridge, a few meters before that fateful place, Jungkook felt Taehyung's hand gently slipping under his elbow. The gesture was way more subtle and gentle than openly taking JK’s hand but the message was just the same: he needed some support. That’s why Jungkook calmly escorted him to a safe place, far away from the painful memories. Jungkook tried not to think that with Taehyung’s hand tugged under his arm they probably looked like a pair of famous actors on the red carpet—he just had to do his job.

Taehyung only let go of his arm once they were off the bridge and immediately put his hands deep in his pockets. They hardly spoke to each other during the bus ride. The boy took out some notes and started revising the material for the test ahead of him, so JK scrolled down all the social media apps he had on his phone.

They got to school on time. Well, they arrived almost ten minutes before the first period which seemed impossible considering the morning traffic their bus stood in for some time. As they entered the school halls, Taehyung quickly waved him goodbye and ran toward one of the classes. Jungkook didn’t even think of stopping him. Here, at school, they acted almost as if they didn’t know each other so JK had no intention of changing it for now.

Jungkook only smiled to himself and shook his head thoughtlessly, Gosh, what do I have with him?  

Just as the cloud of black hair disappeared around the corner, Jimin came out from the same place. At first, he walked confidently toward Jungkook, but at one point he stopped and turned around to do the double-check. He looked at JK uncertainly but when the raven-haired boy was silent, Jimin looked down the hall once again to make sure for the third time.

Jimin squinted his eyes and seemed to be lost in his thoughts for quite a long time. Jungkook wanted to know what made him so confused, that’s why he slowly approached him and stood right in front of him. Yet, the blond still didn’t seem to notice him.

“Will you explain to me why Jimin.exe stopped working?”

“Will I—what?” Jimin tried to come back to Earth. “Just… Wait a minute. Was it Taehyung?”

The blond pointed his finger to the part of the hall where he last saw the boy and he still couldn’t believe it was him. Jungkook wasn’t overly surprised by this reaction. It only proved that there would be quite a lot of rumors spreading around the school today—no one was ready to see Taehyung in such a version. Not even Jimin who partially saw the boy in a similar state in JK’s kitchen.

Therefore, Jungkook only nodded, confirming his words to which Jimin almost dropped his jaw.

“What happened to him?”

“What do you mean?"

“He looks so… so… fluffy.”

Jimin had a point. That was exactly what Jungkook thought the moment he saw the boy’s soft hair. Taehyung indeed looked fluffy.  

“What happened to his hair? And why… why he’s not wearing a shirt?”

As it seemed hair wasn’t the only thing that caught Jimin’s attention. Jungkook tried to remember if he had ever seen Taehyung not in the shirt at school and… he couldn’t think of any similar situation. It was always about his amazing collection of fancy shirts—long or short-sleeved ones and never about the plain T-shirts. And if JK experienced it for only a few months then it must have been an even bigger shocker for people who knew Taehyung way longer; Jimin included.

No wonder the blond kept eyeing Jungkook suspiciously, hoping he would give him some answers to as why the walking perfection turned into a walking cuteness for one day. The reason was pretty obvious; at least for Jungkook. It wasn’t a huge secret that’s why JK decided to explain the reasons behind this change in image.

“Well, he… overslept.”

“Overslept?” Jimin found it hard to believe but the moment later he stroked his chin rather unsure. “But… okay, I guess it can happen to everybody, right? Even to a walking perf—I mean… Even to him.”

For a moment Jimin wanted to use Taehyung’s most notable nickname but he stopped himself at the very last moment. Since he learned about what the boy was going through and what he tried to do, Jimin stopped calling him a walking perfection. Partially not to trigger Jungkook and partially to respect Taehyung’s history and what he went through. Jimin couldn’t have known about his personality issues but still Taehyung appreciated his efforts.

Of course, sometimes Jimin had a hard time controlling himself, just like a second ago but Jungkook blamed it on Taehyung this time. Everybody had a hard time controlling themselves when the boy looked like this—Jungkook included.

“To be honest, I wouldn’t be mad if he overslept a few times more,” Jimin said in a dreamy voice, and this time Jungkook had to react.

“Hey, calm down, mate.”

“What? Can’t I appreciate the true beauty hidden behind this holly image? It’s not like I can see it so often like you,” Jimin sounded offended as if he was jealous that it was Jungkook who had the privilege to see the boy in a more homely look almost daily. “Which brings me to the question… How do you know that?”

“How do I know what?”

“That he overslept.”

Well, there could be many ways JK learned about it. They could have met in front of the building and had a quick chit-chat; Taehyung could have sent him a message in the morning or it could be a simple guess. I didn’t mean the boys had a sleepover. Jungkook didn’t have to look far for a convincing lie—it was right in front of him.

However, Jimin already knew that Jungkook had been taking care of the boy for the past two months, so there was no point in lying right now. That’s why he only sighed, knowing how Jimin would react in a second, and answer as calmly as he could.

“Because I was the one who woke him up.”

Jimin looked at him in an even more suspicious and judgmental way. JK already knew that he was trying to connect the dots and find the second meaning to this statement. Overanalyzing and overthinking things was his hobby and full-time job. That's why Jungkook wasn't surprised when a moment later he added in his sarcastic and provocative way.

“What were you two doing so late at night that made him oversleep, hmm?”

Jungkook didn’t want to play any games with Jimin, that’s why he answered casually, “We sat in the kitchen, studying, talking—”

“Was it an adult conversation?”

“Don’t push it, Jimin.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

JK gave him a pointed look in response to his playful smirk. He had to tame Jimin’s flirtatious persona since the last time he got carried away it wasn’t comfortable for either of them. Fortunately, the blond understood it wasn’t the time and place for such insinuations. So Jungkook continued with the explanations only when he knew Jimin would not try to put them in an awkward position once again.

“I went to sleep early because of tomorrow's match and he said something about a history exam he has today. He was still studying when I left him in the kitchen. He probably stayed up late to do some more revisions and forgot to put his alarm on.”

“No wonder he overslept. The material for this exam is boring as fuck. Even I fell asleep just reading it,” Jimin said with disgust and shrugged. Only then did Jungkook remember that he attended the same history classes as Taehyung. “Besides, if the sleepover had been planned, he wouldn’t have to borrow your clothes, right?”

These words made Jungkook gaze at Jimin who was already waiting for him with a telling look. As much as JK hated his previous silly insinuations, this time the blond was right. Maybe that’s why Jungkook couldn’t find the proper answer to this accusation.

“Come one, that white, super oversized T-shirt with some small but edgy graphics basically screams: I’m from Jungkook’s closet!” Jimin gave him a telling look. “And I can bet it’s the same one you wore for the dinner with my parents two weeks ago.”

Jungkook thought that nobody would suspect the basic white T-shirt to not be Taehyung’s but he forgot that Jimin probably knew every piece of clothing he had in his closet. He got busted in the very first second Jimin looked at Taehyung so there was no point in hiding it anymore. That’s why Jungkook only sighted and shifted from one leg to another.

“Is there something wrong with it?”

“No, no, of course not,” Jimin assured him, although his playful smirk didn’t make Jungkook any calmer. “You just contributed to the cutest possible version of Taehyung. Congrats!”

Jungkook couldn’t help but roll his eyes. No matter what he said, Jimin would always find a way to tease him. Sometimes he was so tired of this but there was no escaping from it if he wanted Jimin as his best friend. Unfortunately for his sanity, there was no universe in which he wouldn’t choose Jimin to be his best mate.

“So tell me, how often do you have such sleepovers?” Jimin wanted to know something more and Jungkook decided to share.

“Quite often. I think he likes my kitchen.”

“Only the kitchen? Not you?”

“I’m just an addition. I only know how to prepare the best cup of tea.”

The truth was he was more than just an addition. Or at least Taehyung would never call him like this. Maybe he wasn’t overly useful while the boy was studying but he helped him anytime Taehyung needed to talk about his therapy or overall. Besides, Jungkook could bet he was also Taehyung’s calming and sleeping pill.

“Sounds fun. Can I sign up for such a sleepover?”

“Well, the couch is free at all times so…”

Jungkook said rather casually; he didn’t mind having Jimin for a sleepover. They already had some in the past few weeks, playing video games and just having quality friendship time. However, having both of the boys staying at his place at once could be a little problematic. He wanted Taehyung to feel comfortable and having nosy Jimin all around wouldn’t be much of a help. He could ask the boy but JK was more than sure Taehyung would go back to his place for a night just not to disturb them.

Jungkook was confident in his words that’s why he got confused by the surprised look of Jimin. It was almost as if he said something scandalous which left the boy shocked. JK tried to analyze his words to find that shock factor but the blond was the first one to speak.

“Wait a second. What was it supposed to mean? Why is the couch free? Don’t tell me that… Oh my God! Are you to sleeping together?” he asked but the moment Jungkook wanted to protest, Jimin quickly clarified, “I mean… not like sleeping sleeping together but… sleeping in one bed. It’s… it’s…”

He couldn’t find the words and so did Jungkook. How Jimin made such an assumption just from a bare mention of having his couch free all the time was beyond JK’s imagination. Well, he was right and there was no way for Jungkook to hide it. He automatically averted his gaze, quite embarrassed for getting caught like this. There wasn’t anything wrong with sharing a bed with a friend but… after what happened this morning he wasn’t so sure about it anymore.

His weird behavior only ensured Jimin he was right and the boy just had to push it more.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why would I?”

“Because I—Ugh. Gosh,” the blond sighed. “The more I hear about you two, everything you do, how you behave… It only makes me believe you act like an old married couple. You're so domestic it hurts.”

Only when Jimin said it, did it finally dawn on Jungkook.

Did they really act so domestic? Well, lately, they had been doing everything together, understanding each other without words and working in incredible unison. JK thought it was because of their friendship bond but somehow it wasn’t like the usual friendship he had with others. There was no specific boundary between them at all—the very same boundary he had with Jimin. Now when he thought about it, there were so many things he did with Taehyung he wouldn’t do with Jimin.

Jungkook has never allowed anyone so close to himself, never shared so many emotions with one person, and never felt so natural in anyone’s presence. It all just felt right, so much so that Jungkook never questioned what was happening between them. It was never about anything romantic although from how they behaved it might have looked like that. But JK knew they labeled each other as friends and that was all he needed. He tried his best to help Taehyung as his friend.

Except for the fact that friends didn't treat each other like this; they didn't sleep in the same bed almost every night; they didn't hold hands every time they needed each other's support; they didn't lie tangled in each other arms and they didn’t have that strange feeling that Jungkook experienced this morning in the sheets. That strange feeling that your friend's lips are extremally kissable.

“Gukkie?”

Jungkook suddenly heard Jimin's voice which snapped him back out of his thoughts. “W-what?”

“You spaced out. Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to...”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

Since that morning in Jungkook's kitchen, Jimin tended to be really careful with his words, either when he was making jokes or when he was completely serious. And even though he kept teasing JK a lot and sometimes Jungkook had to stop him himself, the blond never made him feel overly uncomfortable. Jimin learned how important apologies were and started to use the word sorry with greater respect.

No wonder he wanted to apologize just now, however, Jungkook didn't feel like the apology was needed. All Jimin had said was… true. And no matter how weird Jungkook felt admitting it he had to finally open up his heart a little.

“Actually, I… I think you might be right.”

“Right?!” Jimin was genuinely surprised. “In what way?”

“We… we do act like an old married couple yet I still don't know what we are.”

Jungkook was more than sure that he wouldn't be able to say it out loud and yet somehow those words escaped his mouth quite easily. And only then did he realize how important this statement was. It sounded so innocent in his mind, but only voicing out his thoughts in front of Jimin made him understand that something was going on in his head and heart. That weird feeling from the morning came back and JK didn’t know how to fight it off. Suddenly he didn't feel comfortable with this confession anymore.

He put his hands on his hips, a bit like a person who just got lost in his thoughts, and looked at the ground—anything just not to look directly at Jimin. He could already feel the intense stare the boy was giving him and JK didn’t know if he was ready to face his friend. But when the silence between them lingered for a little too long, JK finally had to look up. Jimin was curious just as JK predicted, but there was a lot of sympathy and understanding hidden in his eyes—something JK didn’t expect to see there.

Jimin gave him a faint smile and discreetly looked around to see how many people were in the halls. There weren't many students around still he gently placed a hand on Jungkook's shoulder and pushed him closer to the lockers. They couldn't stand in the middle of the hall talking about similar topics—they had to have some privacy. They leaned against the lockers, quite close to each other, enough so that the rest of the passing students couldn't hear them whispering.

“Oh, so is there something more to that story?” Jimin asked softly, raising his eyebrow.

The question sounded sincere. It was his best friend inside Jimin talking right now, wanting to know how he could help in this weird situation Jungkook got himself into. It wasn't the gossip girl side of the blond wanting to know the latest shocking news. Jimin really cared about him, maybe that's why Jungkook decided not to hide his feelings from him. However, it was hard to name whatever was happening inside his heart right now.

“I don't… I don’t know.”

Jimin only sighed and rephrased his previous question, “Do you want there to be something more to that story?”

And that was quite a big question for him. Did he want something more from this relationship? He always found Taehyung attractive—he must have been completely tasteless not to admire his beauty: the one on the outside and the other hidden somewhere deep inside his complex personality. But Jungkook had never found Taehyung attractive in any romantic way. It almost felt wrong to want him in any other way than being his supportive friend.

However, no matter how rational Jungkook tried to be about it, somehow he already knew the answer. It was just in front of him, hinted in everything he was doing and feeling lately. As if today's morning and that stupid ass feeling wasn't already an answer. It all changed in that split second when he leaned forward to kiss him. Where did that idea even come from? It wasn't there before so… so what was the reason?

He knew there was something inside his heart, something he couldn't name or was simply too afraid to name. He wanted to figure it out but admitting that Jimin's teasing turned out to be true for once was a dangerous thing to do, especially now. It was easier to pretend that nothing was happening between them even though Jungkook had to be extremely delusional and blind not to notice it.

“I don't know,” JK repeated and continued with a lot of confusion in his voice, “We spent so much time together, we talk a lot and… It must be only natural to feel like this. I just got… attached.”

“Attached?”

“Mhm, attached. You know, taking care of him is quite time-consuming. To think about how he feels, and what he does all the time. I feel somehow responsible for him. But I bet the moment he recovers and gets better, I will get better as well. I'll finally stop worrying and this weird feeling will be gone in no time at all, you’ll see.”

It was the easiest excuse he could use to convince himself there was nothing weird going on. Besides, Taehyung was the one who used this term first. They were attached. Probably from the very first meeting on that bridge. And such a connection between them must be a reason for whatever Jungkook felt right now. There could be no other reason.

Because it wasn't possible to wake up one day and suddenly feel something more, right?

Jimin looked at him carefully. He didn't need to hear more of his excuses—he already knew they were bullshit from the start. If there was anything he was good at except gossiping and finding people's struggles, it was all about managing interpersonal relationships. There was no better matchmaker than Jimin. He could read people quite easily and Jungkook's weird behavior wasn't an exception. He knew there must have been something more to that story than JK wanted to admit. Jimin wanted to help his friend but Jungkook had to stop running away from the truth and his feelings.

The blond wanted to roll his eyes and scold his friend for being such an insincere ass once again but he decided not to. Judging from JK's strangely uncomfortable or maybe shy posture it wasn't the time to be cheeky. Instead, he gave him a compassionate, maybe even a pitiful look.

“Gosh, Gukkie, you're so naive.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Jungkook tried to protest and it seemed that he got offended by his friend's words. It only ensured Jimin that it wasn't the time for any serious conversations. Jungkook wasn’t ready to talk about his feelings.

“Nothing.” Jimin shook his head thoughtlessly. “Whatever it is, just talk to him.”

“About what?”

“About you two. You wanted to know what you are. There's no better solution than asking him about it.”

As if that could help Jungkook in any way. He would rather die than talk to Taehyung about that weird feeling he got this morning. It would be too embarrassing. If a bare mention of this situation in front of Jimin almost made his cheeks burn then there was no way he could confess it to Taehyung.

He liked what they had until now. When there was no label between them other than friends. When they fell asleep in each other's arms and didn't care about anything else in the world. It was so natural and it seemed like both of them benefit from it somehow. Taehyung’s therapy went in the right direction and what’s more important, he didn't feel lonely anymore. He finally got someone for the worst and best as Jungkook promised to always be by his side whenever the boy needed him.

And Jungkook finally found some purpose in his life. Somehow taking care of the boy became one of his priorities (besides basketball of course) and he couldn’t imagine what it would be like when Taehyung got his life together. Jungkook was more than sure the moment it happened, he would get his life back as well and these weird feelings would be gone forever.

However, there was also a part of Jungkook that didn't want to let go of the boy no matter what. The very same part that didn’t want to admit it at loud.

“B-but there's nothing to talk about. We're friends.”

“We're also friends. Yet I'm neither sleeping by your side during rainy nights nor wearing your clothes.”

“You also haven't tried to jump—”

“Who are you trying to convince right now? Me or yourself?” Jimin said more aggressively as he was tired of Jungkook using another excuse. This conversation, no matter how interesting it was, had become quite tiring. There was no way in which he could help his friend come out of his shell as long as JK kept denying everything.

That’s why the blond only sighed and once again patted Jungkook on the shoulder in a reassuring gesture. He didn’t want to fight with his friend and making this conversation any longer was of no use as well. That’s why he added his last words before he should hurry for the classes.

“Listen, I want the best for you. Actually, I want the best for you two. The only thing you're missing to solve whatever you're pretending not to care about and hide from me is Taehyung’s take on this situation. So talk to him, you know I'm right.”

JK hated it but Jimin was right. He had to talk to Taehyung though he didn’t believe the boy’s perspective would change something. A person who had never been in a healthy relationship and had problems naming basic human emotions couldn't see better than Jungkook with his pack of emotional memories. But maybe Taehyung would give him an answer that was so out of the book that would actually fit in this situation? Ah, it was too complicated.

Forget it, just forget it, Jungkook tried to convince himself it was the best option possible. If he managed to forget about all these weird situations and feelings then there would be no need for a conversation. He just needed some time to calm down and think it through. Maybe he should focus on basketball? Yeah, it seemed like the best solution. Until tomorrow’s match, there was no space for any internal heart problems.  

Jungkook had had enough of this conversation and fortunately, he was saved by the bell. Jimin immediately grabbed his backpack and with one final aggressive look thrown at JK, rushed toward his class. JK growled and did just the same, although all he wanted right now was to go straight to his basketball practice. It seemed like it was the only thing that could save him right now.

Chapter Text

Jungkook grabbed his sports back, shut the door behind him, and ran down the stairs. The time was running low and he couldn’t afford to be late—not today. It was the day of his debut in the team and the last thing he wanted today was to miss his first match. JK was a little bit stressed; his heart beat faster and he could feel that adrenaline rush in his veins already. That day was one of the most important days in his life.

He still had some time but he knew how the traffic in Austin was. Jungkook only hoped the bus would arrive on time. He squeezed his bag tighter, put the earphones on, and left the building in a hurry just in case the bus would fail him in the end. He took a few quick steps toward the main road and only then he realized he knew the car parked on the sidewalk. JK quickly recognized the vehicle as well as a person who was casually leaning on it just as if he was waiting for Jungkook to come out.

JK had to stop for a second to make sure his mind wasn’t playing some weird trick on him. But the moment he heard his voice, there could be no mistake that he faced Jimin.

“Gukkie! Finally!” the blond shouted cheerfully and walked toward the raven-haired boy to greet him. “I began to worry you had already left and we are waiting in vain.”

Just as Jimin used the word we, Jungkook noticed Hoseok sitting in the passenger’s seat. The boy smiled at him widely and got out of the car to greet him as well. That was one hell of a welcoming party.

And only then it dawned on Jungkook that it couldn’t be so colorful. If only Taehyung had stayed at his place yesterday night, this morning would have been more than awkward. Fortunately, Taehyung decided to come back home since he had some plans for the day and didn’t want to disturb him at night before the important match.

As it turned out, that was one of his best decisions. Meeting Jimin here wouldn’t be so shocking (although the boy would not leave JK without serious questioning) but confronting Hoseok as well might have been difficult. Jungkook wasn’t creative enough to talk himself out of a similar scandal. Just the vision of such a conversation made him dizzy.

JK quickly came back to earth as soon as Jimin threw his arms around his neck in a welcome gesture and for a while he didn't want to let go. He took a step back only when Jungkook finally managed to ask, still in considerable shock.

“What are you two doing here?”

“Our favorite person is about to debut in the team. It's only natural that we came as a welcoming party!”

“You didn't have to…”

“Yes, we did!”

This time it was Hobi who had said it. The boy also squeezed him tightly and somehow his hug was the warmest hug he had ever received. JK felt as if he was instantly powered up with good and positive vibes. And as much as he liked it, it became a little bit uncomfortable after some time. That’s why he gently freed himself from Hoseok’s embrace and averted his gaze embarrassed with that whole welcoming party thing.  

“You know there are other people on the team, right?” Jungkook asked. He couldn't be the only one receiving such treatment. The whole team was equally important, so why bother with such a welcoming only for him?

“That's true, however, none of them can I call my best friend. Except for you.”

Jimin smiled at him widely and threw his hand over his shoulder. His words were so warm and sincere that Jungkook was speechless for a while. He wasn't used to receiving such things; such care. He couldn’t remember when was the last time somebody rooted for him or did something without wanting anything back. Such a simple yet so endearing gesture made Jungkook’s heart grow a little, though he was too proud of himself to admit it.

Jimin had been his number-one fan since they became friends. He watched all his matches back when they were attending the same school. The blond was mostly clueless about all the rules and sports stuff but he still attended all the matches Jungkook played in. It was good to have him back on his side. Jungkook couldn’t have been more happy that he had come back to Austin.  

He felt his cheeks getting hot and he couldn't afford to show such weakness, so he quickly added, “Jimin-ssi, stop it. You're embarrassing me.”

Jungkook felt as if he was a child whose parents were slightly too excited to see his first match. He could bet it wasn’t the end of surprises. Jimin probably had something more prepared and no matter how grateful JK was for having such a friend, he was lowkey afraid of his imagination.

Fortunately, Jimin didn’t say anything else and simply tapped the roof of his car. “Just get in. I'll give you a ride.”

Hoseok opened the back door of the car in a rather theatrical way and gestured Jungkook to get inside; a bit like he had a personal butler. Jungkook rolled his eyes, but finally threw his bag on the back seat and got inside. He could pretend to be embarrassed by the boys' behavior, but he had to smile to himself the moment he closed the door. It was a really nice feeling.

Jimin walked around the car to get behind the wheel, and at the same time, Hoseok took the passenger seat once again and almost immediately turned over his shoulder to face Jungkook.

“Take it.”

He stretched his hand out in front of him and handed JK a small object. It turned out to be a handmade bracelet made of many plastic and wooden beads, and a few charms of different shapes. All accessories, including the strap, were in a pleasant purple color.

“What's that?” Jungkook took a better look at the bracelet, still wondering why he even received such a gift.

“It's a lucky bracelet. I've made it myself.”

Jungkook looked up to gaze at Hoseok who had his eyes fixed on the bracelet. He seemed proud of his work and JK couldn’t blame him—it really was a nice piece of jewelry to have. Jungkook was impressed by the boy’s craft; it looked professional although a little bit childish considering the purple elements and flower charms. Nevertheless, it was a type of gift he had never got before.

“That's nice but you know I can't wear it during the match, right?”

He didn't want to disappoint Hobi, but that was the sad truth. Lucky bracelet or not, the potential of injuring someone by accident was not a joke. The boy must have known about it, yet Jungkook’s remark didn't stop Hoseok from smiling widely.

“I know. But you can keep it in your bag as well. It's like a charm.”

It certainly was a way to use it however Jungkook didn't believe in such things. Charms, spells, destinies—they were all bullshit. Maybe that's why he was so unlucky in life? Whatever it was, he had no time to think about it right now. He had to respect the gift he received even though he wouldn’t normally wear such a bracelet. So for now he decided to treat it as a lucky charm and simply slipped it on his right wrist.

When Hoseok saw it, he smiled even wider, although Jungkook didn't know that was physically possible. He turned away for a moment to take something out of his bag, then faced Jungkook once again.

“Then, could you give it to Namjoon?”

He handed him a similar bracelet, but all the elements of this one were in a dreamy shade of light blue. Jungkook took the bracelet, however such a request surprised him greatly.

“Namjoon?”

“Mhm. He will like it.”

JK wasn't so sure about it but in the end, he didn’t know Namjoon that well to decide whether he would like it or not. That’s why he only nodded and put the bracelet in the pocket of his jacket, making a note in his mind to not forget about it later. If that was Hobi's request he could simply deliver the present regardless of the outcome. 

A moment later, Jimin got behind the wheel and they drove toward school. The blond was a decent driver which allowed Jungkook to stare outside the window for some time. He wanted to have some peace and focus on the match but of course, Jimin had to be his cheerful and overenergetic self.

“By the way, Gukkie, of course, you're invited,” he said casually but JK had no clue what he was talking about. Did he miss something?

“Invited? For what?

“To grab some beers after the match at my place,” Jimin explained. “My family is away for the weekend so I can host some of you. If you lose, which I'm sure is not going to happen, then it's probably only us three. But if you win, then… well, probably half of the school.”

And the second option might have been a little bit risky, knowing the size of Jimin's apartment. It was bigger than Jungkook's but it wasn't the great mansion Taehyung lived in either. The living room was maybe the size of the kitchen in Taehyung's apartment, which itself suggested that half of the school definitely wouldn't fit there. However, the way Jimin said it so confidently suggested it wouldn’t be the first time he hosted a party of a similar size.

It would surely be crowded in there but celebrating their first win with his teammates and friends sounded so good—Jungkook liked the idea. The last party he had been to was a little problematic so he wanted to make some new memories. Also, there was a high chance Jimin would not be drunk for once. As a host, he should at least be in a decent state.

It was all so promising but there was one condition under such organizing such a party made sense—they had to win.

“To be honest, I've already prepared for everyone to come. I have some decorations ready, the beer is cooling down in the freezer and I’ve been collecting some snacks under my bed for the past week. I just know you will win this match. There's no way to lose it with you in the team.” 

Jimin was so confident as if they had already won this match and they were on their way to his apartment to celebrate. JK was flattered that his best friend believed in him so much and although he was aware of his abilities it only put some more pressure on his shoulders. He didn’t want to let down his team and now he had to add Jimin to this list as well.

He squeezed his hands together and took a breath to destress himself. Unfortunately, Jimin didn’t help him at all as he added a second later.

“Oh, right. Taehyung's invited as well.”

Just as Jungkook heard the boy’s name he automatically became more tense than before. He quickly looked in the review mirror hoping to catch Jimin’s gaze. The blond was smiling at him as if he was proud to mention Taehyung in their conversation. However, when he saw the pointed look of Jungkook he quickly realized he could have waited with this invitation until they would be alone in the car. 

“Taehyung?” Hoseok asked at the sudden mention of the boy. Jungkook's heart stopped for a while, until the boy continued, “Will he even be at the match?”

The question lingered for a little longer as no one was eager to answer it. And the longer it was left unanswered the more suspicious it got. Hoseok looked at Jimin and when the blond seemed a little too focused on the road, he turned to Jungkook. The raven-haired boy opened his mouth but it felt as if he suddenly forgot how to speak.

“Well, he… he goes there sometimes,” Jimin suddenly spoke up, saving JK and trying to fix the mess he started. “Besides, it's Kim Taehyung. You always want to have him at the party, right?”

The blond shrugged as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Jungkook was impressed by how well he played that nonchalant card. But somehow Hobi still seemed to be surprised by the mention of the school’s walking perfection. At one point, JC thought he would even ask about it but Jimin came to the rescue once again.

“Don’t tell me you don’t want him at my party,” he added in a half-cheeky and half-sarcastic way, and apparently it was enough to convince Hoseok.

“Ah, no, no. Of course not,” Hobi protested immediately. “When the party is blessed with a walking perfection itself, it gets the perfect status automatically.”

This answer only suggested that Hoseok still saw Taehyung as the perfect boy—exactly like the rest of the school. It only proved that Jimin kept his word and did not tell anyone about what happened at Jungkook's apartment or earlier on the bridge. He kept the story to himself and Jungkook was glad that the boy had listened to him for once.

Jimin must have felt that gratitude via their best friend bond as he immediately looked at him through the review mirror. His eyes seemed to say: See? I can keep my promises.

Jungkook only shook his head in disbelief. He felt a little bit better but it didn’t mean he could take a deep breath and relax as of yet. Especially when a moment later Hosek smacked his lips and continued with his theories.

“Party invitation is one thing but I was wondering if Taehyung would go to see the match. He has never been a huge sports fan.”

Jungkook had to bite his tongue not to call bullshit on this statement. He knew that Taehyung liked basketball, maybe not as much as Jungkook but he had a decent knowledge of this sport's history and actual rankings. He could even play basketball extremely well—so much so JK even advised him to go for the tryouts. But apparently, it was one of the sides of the boy only Jungkook was entitled to know.

“It’s the first match of the season. Everyone will be there, Hobi.”

“Yeah, but just showing up today and actively watching the match are two different thi—”

“Do you want to bet?”

Jimin cut in and glanced at Hobi before he focused back on the road. Jungkook could only watch the friendly banter between two friends from the back. Somehow it was quite entertaining to follow.

“Okay, I’m in.” Hoseok stroked his chin. “Ten bucks that Taehyung will come but spend the whole match sketching in his notebook.”

That was the oddly specific thing to bet on but Jungkook had to admit it was pretty much an accurate representation of what might happen. JK would bet his money on the very same scenario as he knew Taehyung was glued to his notebook in the past weeks, mastering his designs. It was extremely important for the boy so Jungkook wouldn’t mind him doing it even during the match.

Besides, Taehyung was free to do whatever he wanted. It wasn’t that he would come to the match only to see him play. It was all about the school’s spirit and supporting the whole team.

“Okay, then my ten bucks are on him watching the match very closely. There are a lot of talented players to follow today.”

Jimin said it rather casually but Jungkook just knew what was on his mind. As if the blond’s quick and telling look in a review mirror wasn’t enough of an answer. JK wanted to roll his eyes—it wasn’t the best time to talk about these things. One serious and pretty honest conversation about his feelings with Jimin was enough. He didn’t want to open up for the second time, especially not now when they had company.

Hoseok only snorted and with a sly smirk on his lips extended his hand toward Jimin. When the car stopped at the red light, the blond turned to his friend and grabbed his hand, sealing their bet. Hobi seemed to be way more confident as if he had already won these ten bucks. Although Jungkook would make the same bet as him, he wasn’t so sure if the boy would win the money. With Taehyung involved everything was possible—he could do anything during the match.

“Anyway, hasn’t he seemed to be off lately?”

“Who?”

“Taehyung. Haven’t you noticed?” Hobi asked and when neither of the boys responded he explained. “First of all, we got that out-of-character but absolutely endearing look of his yesterday. And for the past week, he has become more… sociable? I saw him talking to people without walking away after two sentences and… well, that’s new. It felt like the walking perfection was a little less royal and more approachable than usual.”

That was quite an interesting observation. Taehyung’s behavior wasn’t anything different from what Jungkook was used to but apparently, even the smallest change made a huge difference for the school community. If they know him only as a walking perfection then no wonder they got excited for every odd thing he did. However, Jungkook was happy they saw it as something odd in his behavior—it only meant he started changing and his work with the therapist paid off.

Hoseok surely was the representative of the popular and gossip-driven side of the school so his opinion was quite valuable for Jungkook. He could no longer rely on Jimin since he knew part of the truth about Taehyung. But if JK wanted to check how Taehyung was perceived by others, he had Hobi for this. Maybe he should talk to the boy way more often.

On the other hand, he was as dangerous as Jimin when he wanted to get to the bottom of the case. Just as he was now, waiting for the boys to join the discussion. Jungkook didn’t know exactly what to say not to sound suspicious but fortunately, Jimin got his back.

“Maybe. I haven’t noticed anything overly odd…”

“Oh, really?” Hoseok sounded almost offended. “Weren’t you the one who came running to me just to show me Taehyung sitting on the grass with the drama club during the lunch break?”

This remark made Jimin a little bit flustered but before Jungkook could send him a questioning look, the boy quickly cleared his throat.

“Ah, right, right. Then… I don’t know. Maybe he’s just stressed. That’s all.”

“Why would he be stressed?”

“History of Arts finals are coming soon, right?” 

Jimin asked which only made Jungkook respond rather automatically, “They’re next week.”

“Oh, I didn't know you were tracking the dates?” Hobi turned to face Jungkook.

Only then did JK realize he said it out loud. He had to think of some excuse as fast as he could not to embarrass himself and make Hoseok even more suspicious. That’s why he mustered the most neutral maybe even emotionless expression he could and simply shrugged.

“Ah, I… I don't. Mr. Kim told me the last time I saw him. He was really excited about it.”

It was the most reasonable thing to say to cover his previous behavior. Of course, he knew all the possible dates straight from Taehyung who put them all on the calendar hanging in the kitchen. The boy even divided all the materials he had to revise this following week to make sure he was ready for the final test. His notes and textbooks lay in Jungkook’s kitchen and he wouldn’t dare to touch them.

But he wasn’t lying either. The last time he visited Seokjin in his office (as a part of mandatory meetings the school made him go to), the man was pretty much excited that his brother was about to face the best students in such a prestigious competition. He seemed to be beyond proud although he didn’t want to make it more obvious.

It somehow made Jungkook feel a little bit uncomfortable in his presence. When he visited Taehyung a few times it wasn’t as awkward as sitting with the man in one room. He didn’t know how much Taehyung told him about them two although he assumed it couldn’t be much. It was quite funny that Seokjin had to do the check-up on him since he was living alone but the truth was he wasn’t lonely at all. In fact, lately, he had been falling asleep holding his younger brother in his arms. But he couldn’t really tell Jin about it.

It only made him wonder how Taehyung explained all that night he spent outside his house. Seokjin must have noticed that his brother wasn’t in his bed most of the nights and sneaked back to the apartment in the early morning hours. JK couldn’t believe the man didn’t care at all about what was happening with his brother.

So Taehyung had to come up with a pretty good excuse. JK knew he was a good actor and a liar and it wouldn’t be the first time he deceived his brother. But what if he wasn't lying at all? What if Seokjin knew everything? Well, maybe not everything but still—that would be the worst. Maybe that’s why Jungkook felt so uncomfortable during these visits. 

“Oh, right, “Hobi suddenly came to the realization. “The brotherly bond! Oh my god, I still can't believe they're brothers! I mean it makes sense but… but… That's probably the best thing I've ever heard!”

He was excited and if that was his reaction now, JK had a hard time imagining how he reacted back when he first learned the truth. It was a little bit excessive and Hoseok seemed to realize it as well. He quickly tamed his enthusiasm and looked in a kind of apologetic way toward Jungkook. 

“But I'm keeping this information to myself of course,” he assured him.

Jungkook quickly nodded not to stress the boy any longer and almost immediately looked in the rearview mirror, searching for Jimin's eyes. However, he persistently avoided him and focused on the road. This only confirmed Jungkook's belief that he was doing it on purpose.

He shouldn’t have tried to run away. Jungkook wasn't angry that he told Hobi about the brothers—he let him do it himself. What was more important was that he kept to himself the much more important issue.

“Finals are in New York?” Hobi wanted to know something more so he ignored Jimin and kept turning towards JK.

Well, Jungkook knew absolutely every detail of this trip: the times and dates of the three parts of the exam that Taehyung had to take to complete the finals; what hotel they would stay in; what kind of shirts the boy was packing, and that the planes might be delayed due to the airport strikes. However, he could not tell it all to Hobi, so he only limited himself to the most important things.

“Mhm. They have a flight the next Saturday. The test takes three days so they should be back on Thursday. Mr. Kim is going to be his official guardian. It makes sense when you know they're brothers.”

Hobi nodded, accepting this information, but somehow he wasn't convinced by what he expressed a moment later. “Shouldn't he be studying instead of partying then?”

Oh, believe me, he doesn’t need any more revisions, Jungkook thought but kept it to himself. Only he knew how much studying Taehyung had done for the past few weeks. He was beyond ready. He deserved some rest.  

“Maybe it will be a good reset,” Jimin joined the conversation. “He deserves some fun, right?”

Jungkook didn’t know if the blond said it with Taehyung’s situation in mind or if just said it casually. Whatever it was, JK couldn’t agree more. Taehyung deserved some happiness and if he could get it by having some fun then Jungkook wasn’t about to stop him.

However, he was a little bit worried about the party. Jimin’s apartment would be crowded as hell and it wouldn’t help Taehyung’s split personality at all. Jungkook was more than sure that if only Taehyung got too stressed or uncomfortable, he would get back to his old habits and try to be perfect. Or maybe it would be completely the other way around? Maybe he would finally open up a little? Ah, whatever it would be, Jungkook could already feel a twinge in his stomach.

Focus on the match first. You’ll worry about it once you win the match, he tried to convince himself and surprisingly it helped.

“We all deserve some fun,” Hoseok summed up. “But the bet is on.”

He bumped Jimin on the shoulder, reminding him of the bet they’d made and the blond only chuckled. He seemed fed up with his friends' cheerful behavior so he only turned the radio on and started jamming to some viral hits.

Jungkook had to smile to himself as well. He had to think positively as he had a match to win ahead of him. And he could only be glad he had such supportive friends. With them, everything seemed easier.

⊶⊷

Jungkook stood over his clothes and looked at his jersey fondly. He was about to wear the school colors for the first time. He liked the navy blue design and the sporty fabrics—it was everything he had been missing since he left the school team in Atlanta. He didn’t even know he could want to wear it so badly as he wanted just now.

But the thing he was the most proud of was his surname right above the huge number 19 on his back. He had always liked the number and as it was his first choice whenever he had picked one in the past, he was more than happy he could get it here as well. Maybe it was somehow his lucky number? JK would find out soon.

That’s why he quickly put the jersey on and went on with tying his hair. It was a little too long to let it stay loose during the game but it wasn’t long enough to put it in a decent ponytail. So instead Jungkook gently combed them back and put on a thin headband to make sure that all the remaining strands would stay out of his face. For a moment he thought he had forgotten to bring his headband and was on the verge of using his blue shoelaces to make a makeshift headband but fortunately, he found the original one on the bottom of his bag.

So he only checked if his shoes were tied properly and was ready to go. Almost. Only then did he realize he still had Hoseok’s bracelet on his wrist. He quickly took it off and put it inside his bag so it could work as a lucky charm from a distance. Suddenly he also remembered there was one more bracelet—the one he was asked to deliver to Namjoon. He quickly reached into the pocket of his jacket and took off the blue-bedded bracelet.

Jungkook glanced across the room at Namjoon as he wasn’t overly convinced the boy would like to receive a similar gift. JK didn’t want to deconcentrate him before the game but if the bracelet was supposed to be a lucky charm, the boy should had it now.

So he stood up and quickly approached the white-haired boy who bent down to tie his shoes. JK focused on the boy’s arms—they were huge, like the true basketball monster he claimed to be, especially in this type of T-shirt. Sleeveless jersey only underlined his muscular build and for a second JK believed such jerseys were designed exclusively for him.

Jungkook shook his head to get this weird thought out of his mind and only tapped Namjoon gently on the shoulder. The boy immediately straightened up and nodded toward Jungkook, suggesting that he was giving him his full attention. In response, JK just showed him the blue bracelet.

“Hey, Joon, I have this—"

“Oh shit! Is it a lucky bracelet?”

Namjoon didn't even let him finish and immediately stood up, taking the bracelet from his hand. Jungkook didn’t expect such a reaction so he had no clue what he should do after. He was even more clueless when the white-haired boy looked at the bracelet with a cheerful smile on his lips and those adorable dimples.

“No way. He really did it.” Joon was truly fascinated by the gift. “Now we're going to win for sure! Just tell Hobi I'm beyond grateful for that.”

He patted Jungkook on his arm and went on with his preparations for the match. JK had to stand over the boy for at least a few seconds as he was again at the loss of words. How on earth did Namjoon know it was a gift from Hoseok and why would he put all his faith for their win in this small item? Again, JK had no clue. But it wasn’t the best time to keep his head busy with similar questions. They had a match to win. Maybe then Namjoon would be even more talkative and say a few words more about this situation.

They found themselves on the court for the warm-up in no time at all. There were already so many people on the stand and Jimin wasn’t joking when he said it was the social event of the month. Apparently, nobody wanted to miss the very first match of the season which only put some more pressure on Jungkook’s shoulder.

He anxiously looked around the stands, only to come across Jimin and Hobi sitting in one of the first rows, just behind a barrier. When their eyes met, Jimin visibly perked up and suddenly lifted up the cardboard. It had some golden and glittery letters on it saying: No.1 JK Fan! 

Jungkook rolled his eyes and tapped his forehead to show him how ridiculous this whole thing was. But in the end, he smiled anyway. It was a completely unnecessary gesture, but somehow he felt that warm feeling inside his heart. Now he had to give his absolute best not to let down his fan.

He also managed to find Yoongi. The boy sat on the plastic chair in the corner of the room, but not that far away from their team’s bench. Supposedly, he was a spectator but for the untrained eye, he looked like one of the players or coaches. He wore a sports jacket, similar to the ones worn by the team, and a yellow beanie. And above all, he looked beyond focused on what was happening on the court. He leaned forward and put his arms on his knees as he carefully watched the opposing team, slowly chewing gum. 

To be honest, Yoongi looked quite intimidating with his gaze fixed on the game like that but it only confirmed his previous words—he was fond of the team for sure. He would probably like to play himself, although he would never admit that.

And even though Jungkook should focus on the warm-up, he subconsciously looked for another person. He tried to convince himself that he didn't care about his presence that much, but he couldn't lie to himself anymore. Taehyung told him that he would try to come as long as he took care of all the necessary things. He even rescheduled his Saturday session with his therapist for an earlier hour just to make it to the game. But if the session didn't go as planned, or something else happened, he might not have been physically or mentally fit to show up here. So when the warm-up was over and the boy wasn't there yet, Jungkook started to get a little worried. 

The cheerleaders started their performance, but Jungkook couldn’t care less about their dance. His eyes were fixed on the entrance door as he was impatiently skipping from one leg to another. And it certainly wasn’t because he was so eager to start the game already. He waited for that one person to come and he finally got his award.

His eyes followed the figure that entered the room and ran up the stairs almost unnoticed as everyone stared at the dancing girls. The identity of the person was rather obvious. Apart from the coach and a few school officials, there was only one person who would wear a snow-white tailored shirt to a basketball game.

Taehyung found a seat in the upper corner of the room. The two girls moved slightly to give him some space, so the boy smiled in gratitude and sat down next to them. Even from a distance, it was clear that he looked incredibly handsome, and not only because his white shirt stood out from the ocean of colorful, mostly navy blue hoodies and clothes. He just had his walking perfection aura around him—the one that only intensified when he was at school.

Once again, the top two buttons of his shirt were undone, his hair was perfectly slicked back and his honey-like skin was almost glowing. If Jungkook hadn’t known, he would have never guessed the boy had any type of difficult conversation with a therapist some time ago. But again, it was Taehyung—the greatest actor of his generation.   

However, there was one particular thing that caught Jungkook's attention apart from that heavenly look. Taehyung had a small, sparkling brooch pinned to the right side of his shirt, just above his heart. From a distance, Jungkook couldn't see what it exactly was, but he was sure he had never seen it before. Still, it fitted the boy’s style perfectly.

Gosh, how am I supposed to be focused on the game? Jungkook thought, trying to get out of this weird state but it wasn’t easy. It seemed like he couldn’t focus either when Taehyung was or wasn’t here.

“Do you like what you see?”

Jungkook heard a question and for a split second, he thought it was about the boy he had been admiring from afar. And he had the answer on the tip of his tongue when he finally realized what was actually happening in front of him. He averted his gaze from the stands and looked at the author of the question.

Of course, it was Lisa. The girl stood right in front of him, gently fixing her hair and catching her breath. Then he realized that their performance had just ended. 

“What?” he asked, slightly confused.

“The routine. Did you like it?” she repeated the question.

He tried to find some words, but he simply couldn't. Well, how was he supposed to say something when he stood staring at the stands throughout all of the girls' performances? He hadn't seen even a second of their dance although he was more than sure it must have been spectacular. He could lie and say some neutral compliments but fortunately, he didn’t have to. Lisa quickly realized what was going on. She sighed in disappointment, but in the end, she smiled and added sweetly.

“Next time you should keep your eyes focused on me. Trust me, it's worth it.”

She put her hand on his shoulder, took a step closer, and before Jungkook realized what was she doing, Lisa stood on his tiptoes to reach his face. She gave him a cheerful peck on his cheek and a second later she ran giggling to join the other cheerleaders.

Jungkook stood there for a while, completely shocked by her behavior. Well, it wasn’t uncomfortable—it wouldn’t be his first good luck kiss before the match. However, they still have some unresolved issues that have to be addressed sooner than later. It was just awkward. JK felt a little embarrassed, especially when there must be a lot of people who might have noticed it.

And then he slightly panicked. He immediately looked up in the direction where Taehyung sat just to see if he was one of those lucky spectators. Luckily, the boy seemed busy going through the things in his brown bag and wasn’t overly interested in what was happening on the court. Jungkook felt relieved—Taehyung probably didn’t see it.

But just as he thought about it he got another weird feeling. Why do I even care about it? He didn’t do anything wrong, technically even Lisa didn’t do anything overly scandalous. So why was he so anxious about what would Taehyung think if he saw them two together like that?

“Kook, you’re on.”

Jungkook shook his head and focused on Namjoon who just called him. And only the boy’s firm voice reminded him why he was there in the first place. They had a match to win. There was no time for mind games and unnamed feelings. He could do it later.

That’s why he took a few deep breaths and joined the rest of the boys in the circle to go through the strategy for the last time. He felt the adrenaline flushing in his veins. There was no way in which they could lose today.

⊶⊷

The match was tough but somehow they managed to find the best possible way to work as a team. All their training finally paid off as they played in unison to score more and more points. It seemed like Jungkook and Namjoon understood each other without words and knew exactly what the other had in mind. That was such an advantage over a little chaotic opponents which only resulted in a few-point lead before halftime.

Jungkook grabbed the towel and his bidon with an isotonic and sat on the bench to rest a little. The boys were resting as well so he allowed himself to look around a little. He subconsciously let his gaze wander around the place where Taehyung sat.

JK tried not to look there during the game because he knew he would instantly lose focus and he couldn’t allow it to happen. During the break, however, the chances were relatively lower and Jungkook was simply curious about how Taehyung was keeping up with the match for the past two quarters.

So he looked up and the moment he saw the boy, he couldn’t help but smile. Taehyung had his brown notebook opened on his knees as he was sketching something with great focus. He was probably the only spectator who wasn’t interested in the cheerleader's dances as his hand moved passionately above the paper. And Jungkook was more than sure that he spent half of the game staring at his notebook as well.

Shit, Jimin just lost ten bucks.

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief—he should have expected it. A part of him wanted Taehyung to watch him play closely but in the end, he couldn’t blame his artistic soul to win over. He wasn’t disappointed at all. He just wanted Taehyung to be comfortable with himself and his brown notebook was one of those things that could calm him down if needed. All that counted was that Taehyung showed up. Jungkook didn’t need anything more.

So he cheerfully slapped his thighs to hype himself up and jump up to continue the game. And the rest of the match was a history. He seemed to play even better than in the first half and before he noticed he heard the loud buzzer marking the end of the match. Only then did Jungkook look over his shoulder to see the final score: 96 to 78. They won.

The next thing he could hear was a loud roar of people erupting with joy.

Jungkook was beyond happy as he was hugging everyone who passed him by. The first one was Namjoon who almost came running to him to give him an appreciative pat on the shoulder. He was still buzzing with emotions but Jungkook could easily tell he was proud of his team. Well, JK couldn’t blame him—they did a hella good job.

“Kook, I can’t wait to play with you once again.” Joon smiled at him widely and squeezed his arm. They shook hands to congratulate themselves and also as a promise they would continue with this amazing work.

“Likewise.”

Jungkook grinned and went on with congratulating the rest of the guys. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the cheerleaders coming on the court as well as the other students from the stands. It became crowded as everyone wanted to celebrate with the team. Jungkook liked the attention although he was a little afraid that certain someone would get him first. So when he saw Lisa passing through the crowd to reach him, he tried to quickly find someone to talk to. Fortunately, he didn’t have to search for long.

“Gukkie!!!”

Jimin bumped at him with such a speed that Jungkook had to step back so as not to fall. The blond squeezed him tightly and even lifted him a little. JK could tell he was happy; maybe even happier than him.

“Okay, okay, calm down.”

“Nah, but you were amazing! The way you… run and, and then… shoot… and… points!”

“That’s how basketball works, you know,” Jungkook said sarcastically.

Jimin’s words made him smile even more. The blond was never into sports. It was a miracle that he knew what was going on on the court. But it only ensured JK what a loyal friend Jimin was. Jungkook could play chess professionally and Jimin would still stand by his side cheering him loudly. Even though it might have been quite problematic during the chess tournament.

“But still… Never have I ever been more proud to have you as my friend!”

“Come on, it’s just the first match. It’s not even the cup yet—”

“Shut it!” Jimin hissed. “Win is a win.”

Jungkook wanted to protest again; of course, he was beyond happy to win his first match but he also knew there would be a lot more difficult matches ahead of him. But in the end, Jimin was right. They should celebrate today and worry about the future tomorrow.

That’s why he smiled and turned to Hoseok who finally managed to reach them as well. Apparently, Jimin must have sprinted down to the court before his friend could even blink.

“You see, my lucky charm worked,” he said cheerfully and spread his arms. Jungkook thought he wanted to hug him in the same way Jimin did a second ago so he leaned forward. But before he could embrace him, Hobi moved his hand in front of him to stop JK from doing so. He had a weird grimace on his lips which only provoked Jungkook’s surprised look.

“Ah, don’t mind me but… you’re sweaty and sweat doesn’t go well with Louie.”

He pointed at himself and even Jungkook immediately noticed that he wore no ordinary T-shirt. He had seen a fair share of expensive shirts in Taehyung’s closet, yet they were never as much designer-famous as this one. Hobi was a fan of classy brands, no wonder he wore something so fancy during such a special day. JK took a step back as he wouldn’t dare to destroy such a masterpiece—he knew how important it was for such a fashionista like Hoseok. All the Vogue specialist titles he had been called all the time suddenly came true.

“Oh, of course, of course.” Jungkook raised his hands in a defensive gesture, just to let Hobi know he would not try to hug him again. Or at least not now. The boy nodded in gratitude and sent him an even wider smile than before.

Jungkook nodded as well and couldn’t help but look over Hobi to see what was happening behind him in the stands. The place which was occupied by Taehyung for the whole match was empty. JK was a little surprised to see him gone, that’s why he tried to find him somewhere in the crowd but to no avail. Well, he wasn’t a fan of crowded places so maybe he went out of the building to get some air. Jungkook wasn’t expecting him to come to congratulate him on the court. They had the whole evening to celebrate. Well, maybe not whole.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Jimin whispered with a heavy heart which made Jungkook look at him in the instant.

“EVERYONE!” Jimin shouted and raised his hands to make people look at him. Only when he was sure he was at the center of attention did he continue, “PARTY AT MY HOUSE!”

After a momentary silence, people started shouting even louder than the moment they won the match. So much so that Jungkook had to subconsciously cover his ears—he got startled by the sudden noise all around him. He grimaced a little but he wasn’t the only one not overly convinced by that idea. Jimin bit his lip a little and shot him an unamused look. He didn’t have to say it at loud for Jungkook to understand what was on his mind.

Jimin sighed and put his hands on his hips, before he asked sarcastically, “I will regret it, won’t I?”

Chapter Text

Jimin had all the right reasons to regret his decision. To say the party was wild was to say nothing. It was noisy, even though the music wasn’t that loud and the apartment was crowded thanks to a lot of people who showed up. So much so that there was no place one could get some rest from the party-goers. Even the bathroom seemed to be occupied all the time.

Jungkook unlocked a new fear of someone falling off the balcony as so many people went out there to smoke or just to get some fresh air (it was really hard to breathe inside). Fortunately, the apartment was located on the second floor so it wasn’t that high. Even Jungkook once tried to jump down from here but he quickly abandoned this idea after the first try—partially because his leg hurt and partially because Jimin’s mom gave him hell for even trying it.

And Jimin himself was mostly gone during the party as he was doing some smaller errands just to keep the party going without his apartment being completely destroyed. It didn’t stop him from drinking and Jungkook was genuinely impressed by how the boy managed to be drunk and responsible at the same time. It was something that clearly didn’t happen too often.  

Most of the party-goers were relatively drunk, especially team members which surprised Jungkook a lot. He thought he would never see Namjoon drunk and yet he almost took a video of the boy finishing the beer on the one go. But in the end, he had the right to celebrate—they did an amazing job.

Jungkook wasn’t into drinking that much. He got a few beers; nothing over the top. Just to raise a few toasts with the rest of the boys and people of interest—mostly Jimin. He knew where to draw the line because for him the night surely wouldn’t end at that party. He was on standby in case Taehyung needed him; they still didn’t talk and since the boy had one of his therapy sessions earlier today then maybe he needed to talk after all.

That’s why JK kept eyeing the boy for most of the party. Taehyung indeed accepted the invitation and came to Jimin’s place making most of the people rather excited with his presence. Once again, he didn’t do much. He just sat on the couch with his drink and chatted with random people from time to time. So many people wanted to get his attention and he bravely endured all the social interactions he was forced to make.

Jungkook was a little worried about him—he knew how hard it was for the boy. Taehyung looked as if he enjoyed all the clout but it probably was his fake self taking control over his actions. His polite smile was almost like a trademark of the walking perfection persona. That wasn’t a promising sight, that’s why JK even thought of approaching Taehyung himself to save him from other people. But just as he was about to take action, the boy gently nodded, signaling him he was doing fine. Jungkook didn’t like it, but in the end, he decided to trust the boy and leave him be.

Instead, he went to the kitchen hoping it would save him from bumping into Lisa. The blonde had been following him with her gaze almost the whole party and he just knew she would approach him sooner or later. It was such a weird situation. Jungkook basically ghosted her the moment he got Taehyung back and he didn’t feel comfortable about doing so. She deserved some explanations. But what he should tell her when he still didn’t know what was happening between him and Taehyung?

Maybe I should just get another beer and forget about it?

It was one of the options that came to his mind but he quickly abandoned it. If he got any more drunk, he would only become an even easier target for Lisa. That’s why he just poured himself a cup of icy water to sober up quickly.

And when he thought there was no hope for the rest of the night, he got a text. He quickly took his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, only to find out it was Taehyung who texted him. Jungkook smiled subconsciously and looked over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of the boy sitting on the couch. Surprisingly, he was no longer there which confused JK for a second. Only then did he understand why he got that text.

Emergency staircase. 5^th floor.

Ah, so Taehyung had already left; the same way he did during all the parties. He just had to disappear for some time—that was in his nature. Jimin had warned him about it a long time ago but JK already knew how it worked. He learned about it at the very first party he attended since coming back to Austin.

Jungkook couldn’t let Taehyung wait too long, that’s why he immediately went toward the exit. Judging from the state most of the party-goers were in, nobody had seen him leaving. It was probably the same for Taehyung who left the apartment some time ago. Except that he had that whole sneaking out of the party habit mastered to perfection.

Therefore, with a half-smile on his face, he went to the fifth floor and easily found the door leading to the emergency staircase. He knew the whole layout of the building thanks to the many days he played here with Jimin. They used to run around the emergency staircase whenever they wanted to hide from Jimin’s mom who only got angrier that they did such a dangerous thing.

Fortunately, now he was a grown-up and there was no one around to scold him—he could do the dangerous things all by himself. However, lately, whenever he was doing stupid things unsupervised it had a rather poor outcome.

Jungkook confidently stepped outside on the steel structure attached to the building. It was a little bit windy but not that cold—or maybe JK simply didn’t feel it after a few drinks. He found Taehyung immediately. The boy sat down casually by the railing, letting his legs hang freely in the air. In any other situation, it would seem risky, but JK knew this position very well—he sat like that with Jimin his fair share of times.

The rest of the boy’s body was firmly placed in front of the railing and in such a position there was no way he could fall. Instead, he leaned his head sullenly against the railing and slowly smoked a cigarette. A cigarette from Jungkook’s pack.

How does he not have a fear of heights after all that happened? Jungkook asked himself, surprised that the boy could sit here so casually. He remembered how anxious he was to cross the bridge so JK thought he would have problems with any heights. Even Jungkook was sometimes afraid to stand close to the edge.

Maybe that’s why he had to swallow hard before he joined Taehyung by his side. He sat down in the same way as Taehyung, leaving a little space between them. The boy immediately gave him his pack of cigarettes and used his lighter to light the one Jungkook put in his mouth. JK thanked him quietly and focused on the thick smoke floating around him. Somehow these few minutes while they were just sitting there and smoking in silence were the most calming moments today. With everything that had happened, he could finally catch his breath.

Jungkook looked at the pack of cigarettes he held in his hand and started to play with the colorful box, turning it between his fingers. Then a certain memory came to his mind which only made him smile a little.

“It's time for a two-hour break for a smoke, am I right?”

Suddenly he remembered the very first time he spoke with Taehyung or rather tried to speak with him. They had met under rather weird circumstances as Taehyung claimed he needed some alone time to get a smoke. A pack of cigarettes became some kind of a symbol in their relationship. It's amazing how much has changed since then.

Jungkook looked up to see the boy’s reaction. Taehyung only smiled faintly and looked at his cigarette for a while. Then he put it off on the metal railing as if he wanted to get rid of a certain memory as well. He seemed uneasy as he responded in a similar matter a second later.

“Um, yeah. I guess so.”

Jungkook frowned as he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable with his words. He just wanted to start a conversation somehow. Maybe Taehyung wasn’t in a mood today? Maybe something had happened? Maybe he wanted to talk to him about something serious and JK made a stupid joke instead? Oh, god, he made a fool of himself, right?

“Ah, I’m sorr—”

“You were right,” Taehyung cut in before Jungkook could finish.

“R-right? In what way?”

“Back then on the rooftop, you said I was hiding there, and well…” he sighed. “I was hiding. Actually, I hid at each and every party I was invited to.”

Jungkook didn't expect such a confession or at least not now. It was a conversation they surely had to have at one point but JK wasn’t sure if that was the right time. Technically they were in the same situation as they were back on the rooftop so mentioning their first meeting wouldn’t be totally out of place but… Jungkook had a bad feeling about it.

On the other hand, if Taehyung was willing to talk about it, he should be allowed to speak. That's what he learned during all this therapy: if Taehyung opened up on his own, Jungkook had to listen to him. Not that he hadn't done it before, but he began to appreciate every moment when the boy was a little more open, even to him.

That’s why he nodded slowly and took a long taste of a cigarette before he asked softly, “Why?”

“People… They always wanted something from me and the drunker they got the harder it was to control them. Girls being too clingy, others wanting to know me better, trying to get closer to perfection, to solve the mystery as they liked to call it.”

Taehyung grimaced a little before continuing.

“And you know I couldn't let them do it. I… couldn't let them get closer. So it was better to hide and wait until they were completely drunk or already at home because apparently some of them clearly didn't understand my polite rejection. And being straight-up rude wasn't an option either.” 

It wasn't an easy situation and living the way Taehyung lived most of his life only made him even more vulnerable during such parties. Again, it was this irrational fear of getting involved in any relationships and opening up to people, not to mention hurting them, even if it was only a few words of rejection. Drunk people weren’t easy to handle—that’s true but… it was all so stupid. It only made Jungkook mad that Taehyung had to go through all of this alone.

And then it dawned on Jungkook. He was basically no different from all those inquisitive people trying to get any information from Taehyung that evening. He acted the same as all those bastards troubling him all night. What’s more, he did it exactly when Taehyung wanted to be alone.

“I was one of those people, right?” he asked but the answer was rather obvious.

“You were,” Taehyung said confidently. “But you were also the only person who managed to find me. It has never happened to me, maybe that is why I snapped back at you like that. I have to apologize for that as well.”

This explained his strange behavior on the roof. He had to improvise and for a moment he was partially himself, or at least the version of himself he wanted to avoid at all costs back then. And it was all because of Jungkook's insistence.

“Ah, don’t… don’t apologize. I wasn’t overly nice either.”

Jungkook couldn’t let him feel bad about his behavior. The blame was on both of them—Taehyung wasn’t the only one who should feel guilty. He tricked him into being the carrier of his cigarettes, that’s true, but if there was someone to blame it was Jungkook. He was the one who interrupted him and he was the one who didn’t hold back with his words either on the rooftop or at the school’s patio. Ah, and the infamous cigarette pack throw—that wasn’t necessary either.

JK felt embarrassed, both for what he did and thought at that time. He was extremely angry at Taehyung and everyone in his close circle of friends could easily see and confirm it, especially Jimin.

And all he did back then had been bothering him since he learned the whole story from Taehyung. He said it himself that everything had changed when he met him. That Jungkook was the only person who didn’t see Taehyung as a walking perfection; that he saw all of his flaws so clearly that the boy believed he was becoming the person he was so afraid to be; that he wanted to stop it all before it would get even worse.

Jungkook couldn’t get rid of that piercing feeling telling him it was his fault that Taehyung went to the bridge that night.

It was so stupid. For JK they were only a few stupid words, a few stupid gestures, and a few stupid arguments. He argued with Jimin all the time so it wasn’t anything new for Jungkook. Well, everyone fought with others over some stupid things just to make up a few days later. But not Taehyung—he was different. Sometimes something so small and so trivial for one person could be so important or even hurtful for others. Maybe those few stupid words were enough for Taehyung to do another stupidity.

It didn’t matter that Jungkook was the one who saved Taehyung on the bridge. If he was also the one who made him go there in the first place then Jungkook would never forgive himself for this.

And he knew that maybe this wasn't the right place or time to ask such a question, but he had to try. He had to know the answer in order to regain some peace inside his heart. It was already full of these weird feelings—Jungkook didn’t need another one.

“Listen, I… I just have to know one thing and I want you to be honest with me,” he started calmly but he couldn’t bring himself to look Taehyung directly in the eye. He was afraid of the answer but he had to know the truth—no matter how horrible it might be.

Jungkook took a deep breath and continued with a slightly shaky voice, “After that quarrel on the roof and later at school… The way I behaved, the things I said… Were my words the ones that made you realize… Were they the reason for… for what you tried to d-do?”

Somehow he couldn’t finish it the way he wanted; the way he planned it in his head. The words got caught in his throat as he couldn’t even name the events on the bridge. He took another taste of his cigarette but he was more than sure that instead of helping him it would make him suffocate.

Taehyung slowly turned his head and looked at Jungkook carefully, slowly absorbing his words. He had a concerned look in his eyes, and the longer Jungkook waited for the answer, the more he was sure it was his fault. He had a hard time swallowing and he could feel his hand trembling a little. Suddenly his heart started to beat uncomfortably fast and it calmed down only when he felt Taehyung’s hand on his forearm, squeezing it tightly. It made JK look up just before Taehyung answered.

“It's not your fault, Jungkook.”

He said it slowly, emphasizing every word with his soft and low voice. Jungkook could tell he was speaking his heart—he could also see it in his eyes. There was something there telling him Taehyung didn’t say it just to make him feel better; to make him not feel guilty.

On the other hand, he had to be sure. It wasn’t an easy ride with Taehyung especially when he was such a good liar. It could have been that same old mechanism that made him unable to hurt others. Because if he confirmed his words, Jungkook’s heart would certainly break.

But Jungkook was ready for it. He was ready to learn the painful truth and face the consequences. He just hoped Taehyung would be honest with him this one time.

“It's okay. Just tell me if—"

“It's not your fault,” he repeated, still squeezing his forearm.

“But—”   

“It was the worst I've ever felt. I was tired and really confused about a lot of things. At that time, any… any comment… even the most random one… would make me believe I'm a bad person.” Taehyung looked down as if he was ashamed of his actions. “I would have made the same decision with or without your comments.”

That confession didn’t make Jungkook any less worried. If so it only made him more concerned. If at that time any comment could hurt Taehyung, then certainly Jungkook had his share in the boy’s misery.

“Then the things I said—”

“It's not. Your. Fault.”

This time Taehyung said each word separately. His voice was firm and the most serious Jungkook heard him today. Although JK felt bad and insecure and still had a hard time believing he didn't contribute to this tragedy, he had to finally trust in the boy's words. Only Taehyung knew the reasons behind his behavior and what he felt at that time.  

But his words didn’t make JK’s breathing any easier. He couldn’t shake that feeling of his chest. He tried to calm down by taking another taste of his cigarette but his hand was trembling too much to reach his mouth. Taehyung seemed to notice it immediately and sighed before he added.

“If… if you must know then… I’ll tell you,” he whispered and Jungkook turned to him faster than he had ever done. “The thing is… the day of the party it… it was supposed to rain that day. It was supposed to be… that day.”

Only then did Jungkook understand the true meaning behind his words. The state of mind Taehyung was at that party, the way he behaved when nobody looked, and his actions on the rooftop—it all suddenly made sense. No wonder he was such a mess back then if he wasn’t supposed to even be at that party. Jungkook felt a cold shiver going down his spine.  

“I-I was so… so angry that it didn’t go my way. That it was a wasted opportunity all because of that damn weather. I was so ready to do it and… I couldn’t. Instead, I have to attend this stupid-ass party.”

Taehyung sounded angrier than before but it was a good sign. Jungkook preferred to hear him emotional like that rather than see him cry out the next words.

“I’m pretty sure that if you had found me a few minutes earlier, my shirt wouldn’t have been the only thing shining in that dim lamplight. I was such a crying mess back then.”

That was quite devastating to hear. If Taehyung hadn’t said it, Jungkook would have never guessed he was in such a low place minutes before they met on the rooftop. The Taehyung he saw back then was fierce, sarcastic, and straight-up rude, but it all made sense now. Even the thing that he wanted to be left alone.  

“Ah, I-I didn’t know.”

“Why would you know?” Taehyung shrugged. “I made sure nobody would know.”

Taehyung looked down as if he was embarrassed by his behavior. And solely because of this reaction Jungkook knew they should stop being reminiscent of the past and look only forward. It was better to leave everything behind but there were some topics they just had to go through—for both of their sakes. Jungkook didn’t want to hear any more of the hurtful truth, he didn’t want Taehyung to go through it once again as well but… he just had to ask.

“Why did you come to the party then? If you felt this… bad.”

He didn't really know how Taehyung felt back then, but it couldn’t be any good. And having to deal with people at a hated party probably made things even worse. Jungkook didn't understand this decision.

“Well. I told you, I was invited.” Jungkook heard this weird answer once again but this time it came with a better explanation. “It would have been rude to turn down every invitation just because I didn't feel like partying. If the host wanted me to be there, it must have been important for them. That's why I never declined.”

And once again everything was falling into place perfectly. However, going to parties just to please others and not have fun for yourself was quite a tragic scenario.

“Gosh.” That was all Jungkook could say. He was still devastated by everything he had heard today and there were no more words to use now.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Taehyung muttered.

“That bad?!” Jungkook couldn’t believe his ears. “You said you cried.”

“I-I did. But I cried all the time so… it was nothing new.”

“Don’t be like that—”

“Jungkook, please, let’s… let’s stop. It’s already behind us. I… I don’t want to talk about that day anymore.”

Taehyung sounded as if he was no longer comfortable talking about this topic. Jungkook knew he should let it go but… he just couldn’t. He couldn’t stop thinking about what would have happened if he had noticed that something was wrong during the party.

“I wish I found you a few minutes earlier that day,” JK whispered. “Maybe then I would know something was wrong before—”

“Damn that night,” Taehyung interrupted him once again. “You know what matters the most?” He leaned forward to make sure he would catch Jungkook’s gaze and only when he was sure the boy looked him deeply in the eyes did he continue. “That you found me on time at the bridge.”

Taehyung said it softly and yet these words seemed to be the most powerful that night. Just as if they automatically erased everything that happened between them before they met once again at the bridge. It meant it wasn’t Jungkook’s fault; that Taehyung didn’t blame him or was upset by his previous words and behavior, both at the party and at the school. The most important thing for the boy was that Jungkook saved him the moment he needed saving the most.

And maybe that’s why Taehyung’s hand which had been lying on Jungkook’s shoulder for a while, traveled down his arm, then across his forearm until it reached his hand. He gently stroked his skin and let their fingers intertwine. Before they both knew it, they were holding hands.

It felt nice and somehow it was all they needed to calm down. Jungkook could feel his heartbeat going slower, his breathing being more stable with each consecutive breath. He stopped smoking and could finally feel the cold breeze of evening air. But the most comforting thing was when Taehyung gently rested his head on his shoulder. Maybe he needed it to calm down himself or just to feel somebody beside him. Jungkook liked this feeling. It meant they needed each other to regain some sanity.

He promised himself that this moment marked the end of a certain era. They stopped talking about the past—all that had to be said was already said. Now they should focus solely on the future. A healthy future.

They spent a few minutes sitting like this and Jungkook suddenly realized why Taehyung needed almost two hours to hide at each party. Calming down wasn’t easy and when a person found such a view the time flew somehow faster. JK felt as if he left Jimin’s apartment a long time ago.

“Then I'm sorry for dragging you here today,” Jungkook apologized quickly after he realized he invited Taehyung both for his match and for the party. After everything he just heard, he felt guilty that he made him go to another event he didn’t want to be part of. It was another invitation Taehyung simply couldn’t turn down.

However, quite surprisingly, such apologies earned him a little scoff from the boy as he straightened up to look at Jungkook once again. “Ah, please don't. I think for the first time in my life I really wanted to be at the party.”

“Really?” Jungkook couldn’t believe it.

“Really. If I want to change something within me, I have to… finally go out and… and do it. That's my way of… adapting.” Taehyung seemed uncertain about the last word, but Jungkook understood its meaning anyway. “Besides, we won the match. I wanted to celebrate the win, celebrate the team, and celebrate… you.”

“Me?!”

“You. The way you played today was truly fascinating. You were a star, Jungkook.”

The way he said it, in that pleasantly low voice of his, made Jungkook's heart feel warm, even though he had felt it sinking just a moment ago. He had never heard such a compliment, and the entire school seemed to be hugging and complementing him today. But there was no other person than Taehyung whose praise would be so valuable to Jungkook.

He really wanted to smile at his words; his whole body wanted to be happy, but he was probably still too paralyzed to react in such a way. Fortunately, Taehyung wasn’t in that weird state anymore and he was much more important out of the two of them. The boy seemed more lively, a little like his usual self whenever he spent some time at Jungkook’s place. Good. It meant he didn’t dwell on the past for too long. Or at least not now.

“And you know… stars can be quite inspiring.”

Taehyung added quietly and turned to reach for his brown bag lying beside him. Unfortunately, to do so he had to use another hand, the very same one which has been tangled with Jungkook's one for the last few minutes. JK was surprised that he could have been missing something so badly as the boy's soft skin and the warm hold of his long fingers. And if he hadn't caught himself in time, his hand would have chased after Taehyung's to get back his lost treasure as quickly as possible.

Taehyung started looking through the things in his bag until he finally pulled out one loose sheet of paper folded in half from his brown notebook and handed it to Jungkook. “It's for you.”

JK hesitantly accepted the gift and sent him a curious look. He had no clue why was he given this paper, what was inside, and how it was related to this day and Jungkook. It could be absolutely everything. He hoped Taehyung would give him an answer but the boy only nodded, suggesting he should open the gift. JK was a little bit nervous but above all curious, so he didn’t wait any moment longer.

It was a page ripped out of Taehyung’s infamous brown notebook and Jungkook immediately saw a lot of small pencil sketches all over it. But what shocked him the most was the figure depicted on them. It was all about Jungkook or more about the scenes from a match he played not so long ago.

Taehyung perfectly captured his figure while making the shot, including all the details of his outfits and movements. But Jungkook also liked a few smaller sketches, showing his face. The way his slightly tied hair was arranged, the way it fell on different sides of the headband, the profile of his face, and the focused look while playing. Even the smallest elements of his tattoo—Taehyung must have been really observant to remember so many details.

Everything was drawn so perfectly as if JK held a picture of himself in his hands, not a drawing done in a hurry during the match. He was beyond impressed by such a gift. 

“Wow. That's… that's amazing.”

Jungkook was speechless. He couldn’t find the words to say how amazed he was by Taehyung’s talent. He saw some of his works and designs before but this one couldn’t even compare. It was personal and that made it even more special for Jungkook. It was perfect, however, Taehyung just had to add a few words of his critical judgment as he pointed to the part of the drawing with the tattoo.

“The upper part of the tattoo I was mostly guessing since I saw it only once and for that far I couldn't actually confirm if—”

“Stop it,” Jungkook cut him short. “It's perfect.”

Jungkook didn’t care about the technicalities and the professional artistic approach the critics would have while evaluating these drawings. For him, it was perfect the way it was. JK felt like a parent who was gifted the card painted by his child and it didn’t matter how well done it was—what mattered was the effort and the person who made it.  

He didn’t care that the boy, in fact, missed some details about the upper part of his tattoo; Jungkook rarely wore something sleeveless nor was he walking topless for Taehyung to get familiar with the art on his arm. However, the boy got the other features quite accurately. A lot of them were difficult to see from the place where the boy sat during the match which only meant he had to remember them quite well; especially his facial features. Jungkook had no clue when the boy memorized them so well.

Whatever was hidden in his mind, Taehyung only showed him immense talent. If he managed to make such a masterpiece within an hour, in a crowded place, with one pencil and the notebook on his knees, then JK couldn’t even imagine what Taehyung would draw if he had all the possible equipment. Somehow it was even scary to think about it.  

Maybe Jimin didn’t lose that ten bucks, after all? Jungkook thought. Technically Taehyung spent half of the match sketching in his notebook but to make such drawings he had to watch the match closely as well. Maybe not all the time but still, he had to look up more than a few times. However, there was no way to explain this phenomenon to the guys without showing them the drawing he was given. And that would make more questions than answers. It wasn’t worth ten bucks at all.

“Thank you. I've never got something like that. It's beyond amazing. I have to put it on the fridge.”

“Oh, come on. It's not that good.”

“Yes. Yes, it is,” Jungkook insisted. “But you know what's better? Seeing you so passionate about it again. I can finally see the spark in your eyes which wasn't there not so long ago.”

Every time Jungkook saw the boy with his notebook, he seemed to be someone else. There was something about the way he got completely consumed by those new projects that was so satisfying to watch. The passion with which his hand moved around the paper, the focused and more serious look on his face but also something playful inside his eyes. As if he unlocked a certain activity that instantly transformed him into a happy child.

Jungkook once told him that his passion for drawing and designs was something meaningful in his life and apparently he wasn’t wrong at that time.  

Taehyung stared at the paper with his drawings, while Jungkook waited for his reaction. JK knew the boy would agree with him on that. In the end, he was the one who repeated all the time how badly he had to focus on his projects for the portfolio so he could send them for evaluation together with his university application. Except that his drawings were already perfect. So if it wasn’t about improvement, Taehyung clearly drew because it was his passion.

“Yeah,” Taehyung finally murmured with his gaze still locked on the paper. “You can say I found some… something I'm really passionate about.”

Jungkook was slightly surprised by some hesitation mid-sentence but decided not to comment on it. Not when he found something far more important.

As Taehyung’s gaze was still focused on the paper, the corners of his lips slowly went up. It was the same with his cheeks which suddenly became full and grew steadily just like freshly baked bread. They squeezed his eyes a little but it only made them more adorable than they were before. As if they finally carried some happiness inside. Jungkook couldn’t stop staring at his pearly-white teeth which got exposed together with rosy and slightly swollen lips. That’s when JK understood why he was so obsessed with them.

And he also knew he would remember this moment forever—Taehyung had just smiled.

Taehyung slowly looked up, as if he had finally woken up from the trance he was in. His expression became rather stoic (as always) as he shook his head to get rid of his previous emotions. He wanted to remove what was left from this accidental smile but Jungkook couldn’t let him do it. There was no way to forget what he had just seen.

“What was that?” Jungkook asked, still fascinated by this discovery.

“W-what?” Taehyung opened his eyes slightly wider, clearly surprised. He acted as if he had been caught red-handed which somehow was even more adorable.

“You smiled.”

Jungkook had to say it out loud because he was so happy to finally see the smile on the boy’s lips. That certainly was a groundbreaking moment, not only for Taehyung. However, he still seemed confused. He stared at Jungkook as if he had trouble understanding his words. As if the word smile didn't exist in his vocabulary.

“You smiled,” JK repeated. “And it wasn't the fake smile of walking perfection. You smiled smiled. In the same way, I saw your grandma smiling in that photo you have over your desk.”

JK could bet his life on that—their smiles were identical. That was such a lovely thing to see. Jungkook wanted to take a photo of smiling Taehyung just to print it out, put it into the picture frame, and hang it in the living room for everyone to see. Jungkook would give up a lot just to see him smile like that once again. That’s why he promised himself he would do everything in his might to make Taehyung’s lips form that adorable bread cheeks smile not once but a thousand times.

Except that Taehyung clearly had some other plans. He bit his lip shyly as if he was ashamed that Jungkook caught him smiling. Maybe there was some disappointment in it as well? JK couldn’t tell what it exactly was but he had to act as quickly as possible. Preferably before Taehyung could think that smiling was a bad thing to do.

“Don't you get it? It's a huge step forward.”

“I… know,” he mumbled, still not overly convinced. It was rather obvious that there was quite a serious battle going on inside the boy’s head right now. “A-and I do feel better but… I also have this strange feeling that… that I shouldn't.”

That would explain why he still acted so shy and insecure as if he was ashamed that something was finally going well in his life. Well, he had never experienced a similar feeling before, no wonder he felt strange and uncomfortable with it just now. He had to get used to it, even if it seemed strange to him at first. But, my gosh, why would someone feel uncomfortable with being happy?

“But… I also do like this feeling,” Taehyung added shyly, almost inaudibly, yet Jungkook still caught this sincere confession. These were some of the most important words the boy had said that day, that’s why JK wanted him to remember them correctly.

“If you like it so much, then you should keep fighting to feel this way more often, right?”

Jungkook said it cheerfully and bumped Taehyung on the shoulder, trying to convince him. But when the boy was still biting down his lip, JK threw a hand over his shoulder and forced him into a gentle hug. Taehyung resisted for a second but he gave up pretty quickly when Jungkook tugged him to his chest. Somehow this gesture made Taehyung calmer.

“Everyone deserves to be happy,” Jungkook whispered. “You deserve to be happy.”

Just as he had said it, he felt Taehyung’s arm wrapping around his waist and squeezing him tightly. Now when he had the boy completely inside his arms, he could feel his body relaxing a little—as if it finally accepted Jungkook was right. That’s why he allowed himself to do what he liked the most whenever they were in a similar position: to put his hand into the boy’s hair. Sometimes JK felt that the day without a few gentle pats on Taehyung’s head was a wasted one.

And it all just fitted… perfectly. The boy’s arms seemed to be made just for Jungkook’s waist. His head could find no more perfect place to rest on other than his chest. Even the way his locks curled around Jungkook’s fingers whenever he stroked them. It was almost as if two bodies melted into one. It was such a comforting feeling that Jungkook had no time to think how equally strange it was.

Ah, it would be so scandalous if someone caught them hugging like that but Jungkook didn’t care at all. He liked the feeling he just got and there was no one in this world able to destroy what they had now.

“How it is that you… you always know what to say?” Taehyung whispered into his T-shirt.

Jungkook was quite surprised by this statement because he didn’t consider himself someone golden-mouth. He just went with his guts and apparently most of the time it was what Taehyung or any other person needed to hear. Besides, he could write quite a long list of moments when his words were… slightly out of place. For example, their first meeting or all that has been going on around him lately.

“Well, clearly not always.”

“I told you not to come back to that party.”

“Ah no. It’s not what I had in mind,” Jungkook protested immediately. He didn’t want to upset Taehyung or make him uncomfortable even more. Besides, they already decided they would focus only on the future without looking back at their past.

But it wasn’t enough to ease Taehyung’s mind. He straightened up to raise his head and look Jungkook directly into his eyes. JK still wanted to have him close, that’s why he let him move a little but he also left his hand on his shoulder—just in case.

“Then… then what were you thinking about?” Taehyung asked and locked his gaze at Jungkook.

And the way he looked at him with those big black eyes felt as if he was once again casting a spell on him. Jungkook could stare at him all night long and he wouldn’t be bored; he would probably miss him the very first second he averted his gaze. There was something so irresistible in his presence, in his aura that made Jungkook unable to think of anything but the boy.

Taehyung claimed JK always knew what to say but he was completely speechless right now. He had no clue which words should he use to describe what was happening inside his heart. It was the very same feeling that he got yesterday morning but somehow it was even more… real.

Maybe that’s why he once again looked down to his lips. The very same lips which smiled for the first time. The very same lips that carried the most precious words he heard today. The very same lips that looked even more kissable than JK had ever seen them. They were equally hypnotizing as his eyes and Jungkook couldn’t decide which he liked more.

One thing was sure: staring at Taehyung’s eyes was far less dangerous than staring at his lips. Jungkook knew he would stop controlling himself at one point and it definitely wasn’t the time to let this weird feeling get loose. He forced himself to look up to meet Taehyung’s eyes once again. JK thought it would be easier like this but clearly, he was wrong. So before he knew it, his hand was once again in Taehyung’s hair, putting it gently behind his hair.  

“You see, it’s just…” Jungkook tried to say something but he just couldn’t.

“So it is that moment?” Taehyung suddenly asked and JK immediately stopped dead in his tracks.

“W-what moment?”

He started panicking as he didn’t know what was on Taehyung’s mind. They were so close to each other and Jungkook’s rather chaotic behavior might have been quite suggestive. Did Taehyung have the same weird feeling troubling his heart? Or maybe he just knew about Jungkook and his wavering feelings? He had so many ideas and possible scenarios going around his head that he had no clue what would happen in a second.

Jungkook could feel his breath stopping for a moment until Taehyung smiled at him and said rather cheerfully, “A moment when you don’t know what to say.”

It took JK a moment to understand that Taehyung was only teasing him. The boy kept thinking about his golden-mouthed abilities all the time while Jungkook’s mind traveled to some dark places and questionable scenarios. Oh god, what was he even thinking? Of course, the moment in question was about Jungkook and not about… well, them.

“Yeah, yeah, pretty much.”

Jungkook nodded quickly and took a deep breath to calm himself down. He sent Taehyung a wide smile just to cover his rather suspicious behavior. JK was more than sure his cheeks were a little red but fortunately he could blame it on the alcohol. However, he should do everything not to be caught red-handed with this weird feeling taking over his behavior and sanity. That would be embarrassing if Taehyung found out.

But maybe Taehyung should know about it? Maybe Jimin was right? Maybe they should talk it through instead of pretending there was nothing there? Maybe it was the only way to know what that heart-gripping feeling actually was? If Taehyung was a reason for it then it only felt right to let him know.

And as much as Jungkook wanted to know the answers, he was also so freaking afraid of what he might discover. Ah, fuck. I need some lemon tea.

That was the only thing that could calm him right now enough so he could gather his thoughts and decide what to do. He knew coming back to the party wouldn’t be the best idea. At this point everyone was drunk and he had no intention of babysitting anyone tonight. He had much more important things to take care of. One look at Taehyung was enough to tell he was tired as well so coming back home sounded like a reasonable thing to do.

“Should we call it a day and come back to my place?” he asked, hoping Taehyung would agree without any further insistence. Much to his surprise, the boy only frowned.

“You want to go? It's your party.”

“It's a team's party,” Jungkook corrected him. “And they are all having fun as far as I know.”

The moment he left the apartment to join Taehyung here, most of the boys were already rather lightheaded, flirting with the girls, singing karaoke or… just drinking more. No one was really missing him this past hour, so it wouldn’t be a disaster if he disappeared right now.

“You should stay,” Taehyung insisted.

“Trust me. I’ve already had my share of fun. And I can see you’re tired.”

“Ah, I… I…” Taehyung tried to find an excuse but he failed miserably. “You’re right. I used up all my social skills for today.”   

“That’s what I thought.” JK chuckled. “Besides, we really have to go. I need to put this masterpiece on the fridge as soon as possible.”

Jungkook grinned and raised his hand with the paper Taehyung had given him some time ago. He knew this argument would work no matter how much Taehyung would like to insist. The boy only shook his head in disbelief but in the end, he accepted his fate. He started packing his bag and at the same time, Jungkook jumped back on his feet.

He extended his hand to help Taehyung stand up and the boy gladly accepted it. However, when they both stood steadily once again, neither of the boys took back his hand. They looked at each other for a moment as if they were trying to decide what to do with their tangled hands. Taehyung slightly tilted his head to the side and the second it seemed he wanted to take a step back, Jungkook squeezed his hand tighter and dragged him behind to the exit.

Taehyung didn’t fight with him. He simply adjusted his fingers to fit with Jungkook’s better and also tightened the grip. Again, it all seemed to fit just perfectly. So much so that they were holding hands almost all the way back to Jungkook’s apartment.

Chapter Text

The night was unusually calm. There were no sounds of nature, no gusts of wind, no drops of rain, or any other strange noises. It was as if the world was expecting something to happen; something equally important and tragic at the same time. If it wasn’t for the moonlight illuminating nearby buildings Jungkook would have thought he really got frozen in time. Especially when Taehyung didn’t let go of his hand throughout the whole walk back home—that was the most unexpected thing out of this night phenomena.

It took them over fifteen minutes to get back to Jungkook’s apartment—Jimin lived in the old buildings just on the other side of the neighborhood. Just as they walked in, none of them was eager to turn the lights on. Thanks to the moonlight it was rather bright already so they just went on with their things.  

Taehyung rushed to the bed almost immediately. Just as he had said, all these conversations at the party had completely drained him out of the energy. He was so tired that he didn't even take off his fabulously white shirt, which was quite surprising. Taehyung always changed clothes as he didn’t want to damage his precious shirts. Besides, he seemed to like Jungkook’s purple hoodie which by this time was already rebranded to Taehyung’s hoodie; same for a few white T-shirts.

Apparently, all that mattered for Taehyung tonight was to get some sleep so Jungkook decided to let it go. They had no plans for tomorrow anyway.

Jungkook, in turn, made himself a promised lemon tea and while he was waiting for the water to boil, he officially pinned Taehyung’s drawing to the fridge using a blue magnet. He took a step back to admire such a masterpiece once again. It was so perfect and so satisfying that he couldn’t look away for a few long moments. Every line, every detail—it all just fit together. Jungkook had never received anything like that. He was beyond grateful.

But it also made him think, When did he manage to memorize all of that?

He tried to find a moment when Taehyung had an opportunity to watch him closely enough to memorize all the details; especially features of his face. The boy had never stared at him excessively nor made some pictures he could use later as a reference. Knowing how well he memorized all he textbooks lying in the kitchen, he could have done the same with Jungkook’s face… but something was still odd about it.

That’s why JK decided to use the reverse strategy. When did he have the best opportunity to have a good look at Taehyung’s face? In an instant, he thought about yesterday morning when he woke up beside the boy. Just before he finally woke him up, Jungkook had the best view possible. Taehyung was still asleep so he could admire his beautiful face as much as he wanted without being creepy about it.

And then is struck him. It was all about those mornings Taehyung sneaked out before going to school. Jungkook didn’t wake up, not even once; he had no clue what the boy was doing during that time and at what hour he really left his house. He could spend some time watching Jungkook sleep, the same way JK did yesterday. It was the only reasonable explanation to as why he knew all the details of his face so damn well.

Together with this discovery, there was another quite strange thought that came to his mind and he had to verify it quickly. Taking advantage of the fact that Taehyung was probably already asleep, JK quietly approached the boy’s bag lying somewhere near the sofa. Jungkook wasn’t a fan of rummaging through other people's things, but this time he had no choice. He quietly took out the thing that accompanied Taehyung every day, including today—his famous brown notebook.

Jungkook took a deep breath and slowly opened the notebook. He made sure no loose pages were lost as he remembered how many of those were inside the last time he carried that masterpiece in his hands. He had already seen most of the designs, so he quickly turned the pages to get to the last ones—the projects that had to be created in recent weeks. And when he turned to the last page, he had to bite his lip hard.

He knew that such a precise drawing as he got today couldn’t be the first one of his Taehyung had ever made. And his gut feeling was right. Sure, there were a few clothing designs in his recent projects, but between them, there were also a few sketches of Jungkook himself. It was mainly his face or its profile, similar to the ones he received today. Again, they were done with the utmost precision; they felt so real. Jungkook would have never thought that he was worth portraying.

So much so that JK felt a little uncomfortable; especially when he turned the page. He knew Taehyung liked to sketch different body parts and he was quite good at it, but Jungkook didn’t expect to see his own hand as one of the projects. There was a whole page with drawings of his hand in different positions and if Jungkook wasn’t careful enough he would have thought that his hands suddenly doubled. The drawings were so realistic, especially the tattoo part. JK had a feeling that Taehyung drew it better than his tattoo artist.

And at some point, Jungkook realized that maybe this spark in the boy's eyes whenever he sketched something in his notebook lately was not about the drawing process itself, but about the object he was sketching. About Jungkook, to be precise.

JK panicked and immediately closed the notebook. He squeezed his eyes tightly, hoping it would make those weird thoughts go away. Unfortunately, it did not help at all.

Stop overthinking, you idiot. It's just a coincidence.

He quickly put the notebook back into the bag, making sure nothing was missed from the inside. He left everything as it was so Taehyung wouldn’t get suspicious in the morning.

Jungkook stood in the middle of the living room for a little bit longer. He nervously rubbed his hand through his hair while biting his lips. He had to calm down, otherwise he wouldn't be able to get some sleep. And getting some sleep equaled lying down next to Taehyung. However, with that weird state he got himself into just now, he wasn’t sure he would be able to share the same bed with the boy now.

He tried not to overthink it but… he just couldn’t. What if it wasn’t a coincidence? What if those sketches had some meaning? What if Taehyung drew him for a reason? What if he also had something on his mind troubling him the same way it was troubling Jungkook? Maybe he also was afraid to ask? Gosh, they had to talk, didn’t they?

Jungkook quickly shook his head. It wasn’t the time for a similar conversation. Taehyung was already asleep, they were both tired and all JK wanted was to have a moment of peace. Besides, they already had one quite meaningful conversation tonight. None of the topics they went through during the party was easy and Jungkook didn’t want to bother Taehyung even more. He had to back down, no matter how badly he needed to have some answers.

That’s why he took some time to calm down. He drank that lemon tea he was craving so much and thankfully it helped. He thought of taking another quick shower but in the end, he went straight to his bed. For a split second, he wanted to lie down on the couch in the living room but he quickly abandoned that idea. It would probably make things even worse—he wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway and Taehyung would surely ask in the morning.

So he quickly changed clothes and finally stood over his bed. Surprisingly Taehyung was spread out on its entire surface like a starfish. He probably fell asleep in an instant after throwing himself on the bed. It only made Jungkook smile a little—Taehyung’s cuteness was addictive; especially when the image was so different from the usual. Taehyung was always cuddled on the one side of the bed but today he looked more like a carefree child who spent his first night in their parents’ master bedroom.

JK didn't have the heart to wake him up, but in the end, he had no other choice. He gently nudged his shoulder, and that was enough for Taehyung to raise his head.

“Can you move a little?” Jungkook whispered. “Or should I sleep on a couch?”

In response to the latter question, Taehyung immediately turned to the side, making some space beside him, and grabbed Jungkook’s wrist, basically pulling him down on the bed. That was a rather definite answer—he didn’t want him to sleep on the couch. The problem was that Jungkook was not prepared for such a gesture. Taehyung grabbed him with such force that JK almost lost his balance. Fortunately, at the last moment, he managed to keep his posture and not fall on the boy with his whole body. That would be too embarrassing.

So he calmly lay down next to the boy who still held his wrist tightly. Taehyung quickly snooped to his side and placed his head right next to his; so close that his nose was just inches away from Jungkook’s cheek. JK could feel his every warm breath on his neck together with that incredible scent of his perfume. It was a miracle that it still lingered after such a long day. The rose scent was so hypnotizing that it immediately made him dizzy. So much so that he almost didn’t notice when Taehyung finally let go of his wrist, but only to slide his hand a little lower and casually embrace his torso.

It wasn’t the first time they lay so close to each other; as if the space between them had never existed. They did that quite often whenever Taehyung stayed the night. Being in each other arms was so natural and relaxing for both of them, enough to make them fall asleep almost immediately.

And it has always worked until now.

Today Jungkook felt somehow different. The boy's closeness had never bothered him before. He didn't mind their accidentally joined hands or their faces shyly brushing against each other from time to time. It felt natural and somehow comfortable but now… Now it just felt awkward. Actually, it felt awkward from the moment he realized there could be something more between them. Something he wasn’t aware of before. Something he discovered that one morning while waking up beside Taehyung.

And because Jungkook had never felt so awkward cuddling with the other person, there could be no mistake about it. So it is possible to wake up and feel something more, huh?

Just as this realization hit him his body responded in a similar manner. He could feel his heartbeat fasten, his breath getting short and uneven, and his hand slightly trembling when he gently caressed Taehyung’s back. He was stressed and he could no longer stand this weird feeling. Jungkook wanted to come back to those times when he didn’t feel so awkward around the boy. He wanted to fall asleep next to him the same way he did in past weeks. And there was only one way to get his ideal evenings back.

“Taehyung?” he whispered, but the boy didn’t respond. “A-are you awake?”

He didn’t have to ask—the boy’s uneven breathing on his skin suggested he wasn’t asleep as of yet. And the moment later Taehyung moved his head a little and responded calmly, “Mmm. I am.”

The way he hummed it in his deep voice felt as if he was leaving those words on Jungkook’s neck. It only made JK shiver. He swallowed hard because he had no clue how he should direct this conversation. There was no way he could say anything more when the simple whisper from Taehyung made him forget his own name.

“Is there something bothering you?” Taehyung asked suddenly.

JK got caught off guard—he didn’t expect the boy to ask or even notice that something was wrong. He thought Taehyung was already half-asleep and would not be eager to have any conversation with him right now. As it turned out it was the other way round. Taehyung was rather attentive, so much so that he added even before JK could explain himself.

“Jungkook, I can feel your heartbeat. There is something bothering you.”

The boy lay so close to him, with his hand still resting on his torso, that there was no possibility he would miss his fast heartbeat or uneven breathing. But the thing Taehyung managed to feel those abnormalities only made Jungkook even more embarrassed about this whole situation. He knew there was no point in hiding his state from Taehyung—there was no lie that he could use right now to convince Taehyung everything was fine.

That’s why he only sighed and admitted with a heavy heart, “You’re right. There is something.”

He still couldn’t name it but it was clearly more than just something.

In response, Taehyung held his breath for a moment longer before he exhaled freely. He began to twist and turn beside him until he finally lifted his head and rested it on his hand. The boy blinked twice to adjust his eyes to the darkness and then he fixed his soft gaze on Jungkook. He watched him carefully as if he were trying to read something from Jungkook’s face. But when his quick investigation turned out to be unsuccessful, he just had to ask.

“Jungkook, what’s going on?”

It was such a simple question yet the answer was so fucking complicated. There were so many things going on and Jungkook had no clue how to name them or where they even came from. And the more Taehyung stared at him with this sympathetic look, the more paralyzed Jungkook was. But he also knew there would be no better moment to have this conversation. It had to be done now if JK wanted to regain his sanity.

“Can… can I ask you a question?”

It was a dumb thing to start with, Why wouldn’t he let you ask him a question, you dumbass? But maybe he needed some stupid validation for what he was about to say next? Maybe he hoped Taehyung would say no and there wouldn’t be a need to continue with this conversation? Jungkook must have been delusional to think it would work like that. Especially when a second later Taehyung nodded slowly, suggesting he got his full attention.

“You see… Jimin told me recently that we act like an old married couple. The way we behave is so domestic and natural and… I kinda noticed it as well.” Jungkook swallowed hard, although he felt as if he was speaking through a clenched throat. “It… it only made me wonder… what… what are we?”

He finally asked the question that had been bothering him since Jimin, in fact, noticed something was going on between them two—something that could no longer be called friendship. Jungkook wanted to know what it was but he could not bring himself to look up and face Taehyung. He was too embarrassed, that’s why he locked his gaze on the boy’s hand still lying freely on his chest somewhere above his heart. He was more than sure Taehyung could feel it beating with an appalling speed. 

But no matter how afraid Jungkook was of the answer he might get, he had to make a few things clear. There was no place for misunderstanding here. Not when the topic was so important.

“What are we, Taehyung?” he repeated once again. “Look at us. We sleep in the same bed, holding each other as if we were two inseparable souls; as if we were afraid of the smallest space between us; as if this touch was the only thing able to calm us down. We breathe the same air and we share the same feelings. Whenever you're sad, I'm sad. Whenever you suffer, I suffer twice as badly. And whenever you smile, I feel like the happiest person alive.”

“You… you trust me more than you trust yourself. We share secrets nobody else knows about us. I’ve never felt more comfortable about sharing them with anyone but you and I think you feel the same way. There has to be a reason for all of that and I just want to know… What are we?”

Jungkook felt like he said it all in one breath. He couldn’t allow himself to stop or hesitate for a second because if he did, he surely wouldn't be able to finish his thought. He would chicken out and he didn’t want to be a coward. Not when he was speaking about his feelings probably for the first time in his life.

And he wasn’t sure what answer he wanted to hear. Maybe Taehyung would just laugh him off and say he was imagining things; that they’re just friends. Or maybe he would share the same feelings as Jungkook? Maybe he would be able to name them if JK had problems understanding what they really were? Or maybe he would have something completely different on his mind?

Jungkook just wanted to know. Any answer would be good for him. Anything just to free his heart from that weird feeling.

Taehyung was silent for a little longer—all Jungkook could hear was his steady breathing. He knew the boy was probably looking at him closely, trying to understand his words, but once again Jungkook had no courage to look up and face him properly.

It wasn’t until Taehyung’s hand traveled across his chest to reach Jungkook’s hand lying freely on the other side of the bed. The boy grabbed it casually and brought it closer to him. He played with Jungkook’s fingers for a while until he rested their tangled hands in the same place they lay before—just over JK’s heart.

Jungkook closely followed his movements until Taehyung squeezed his hand tighter. Only then did he look up to finally meet his attentive gaze. Taehyung hesitated for a while, but finally, he tilted his head slightly to the left. The words he spoke just a second later were soft and almost inaudible, yet somehow he said them with great confidence.  

“I think we are the two who found our destiny.”

These words stayed in the air for a little bit longer. Jungkook felt as if they echoed not only inside the room but also inside his head. They seemed to resonate inside his body, reaching his heart within seconds. And somehow his heart recognized them as that one feeling that had been there ever since he met Taehyung.

Whatever Taehyung had in mind while saying it, he couldn’t be more right. Somehow this statement described their relationship in the best way possible, although Jungkook thought it wouldn’t be that simple. He was ready for a long conversation, trying to name whatever there was between them and somehow Taehyung managed to do it in only six words.

He was speechless for a while which only allowed Taehyung to continue while he still played with Jungkook’s hand.  

“The world should be missing two people right now but yet we're both still there. If you had given up back there in Atlanta, there would have been nobody to stop me here. We wouldn't have met. We wouldn't be lying in the same bed together. None of this is a coincidence. Call us what you want but for me it's destiny.”

He shrugged as if he wasn’t interested in any other explanations. He believed in his final statement and there was no one in the entire world able to convince him otherwise. And Jungkook certainly wouldn’t be one either—he agreed with everything the boy just had said.

Sometimes JK thought about it as well—what would have happened if he hadn’t come back to Austin? What would have happened if they hadn’t had that argument during the party or if he hadn’t been going down that bridge? There were so many ifs in their history yet all of them lead to what they had just now. Jungkook could no longer pretend that destiny was only one of Taehyung’s favorite words. It was real.

“You strongly believe in destiny, don't you?” JK couldn't help but ask. Somehow he already knew the answer but as Taehyung mentioned it once again, he had to know what was the big deal about it.  

Taehyung nodded gently, although his eyes were distant. It was as if he had drifted away to another reality for a moment before he finally answered.

“For years I believed I'd end just as my father. My mother kept telling me it was my destiny to be just like him. There's still a part of me, deep inside, which believes it will happen.” Taehyung placed his other hand over his heart as if to show that everything he believed in had its roots somewhere there; as if that was what he was made of. 

“But now I also believe that destiny can be changed,” he continued, as he slowly moved his hand from his heart and placed his finger in the same place on Jungkook’s T-shirt. “I believe it has already changed. All because of you.”

Jungkook looked up, greatly surprised by his words. Well, that wouldn’t be the first time tonight but the more they talked about their relationship, the more heartwarming feeling he got inside his chest. Especially when Taehyung used his own words against him.

It was Jungkook who told the boy while they sat in front of the therapist's office that destiny could be changed. Back then Taehyung didn’t believe him but apparently, now he changed his mind. What’s more, it was JK who managed to convince him, maybe not directly, but sometimes even a few words were enough to make a person rethink their life. Even though Jungkook knew that he had done a lot for the boy, he still couldn't give himself as much credit as he should have.

Jungkook had never received any official thanks or apologies but he never really needed them. Taehyung’s gestures, whether they were small or a little bigger, were enough of a reward for JK. And he got another one of these just a second later.

Taehyung lay down again, although this time he made sure his head was tightly pressed to Jungkook’s chest—as if he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t miss any sound of his beating heart. He moved their still-tangled hands to the side so he could hug Jungkook at the same time. And when he squeezed him tighter Jungkook was more than sure that his waist and Taehyung’s hands were just made for each other. No, they were destined for each other.

“You were right. Life is shit but it is worth it to hold on a little longer,” he whispered with a dreamy tone and hugged him even more. “You make me want to hold on for a little bit longer.”

Taehyung’s left hand gripped his T-shirt even tighter as if he didn't want to let him go. And only when Jungkook finally got over the first wave of shock did he decide that he had to act somehow. He didn’t hesitate any second longer and embraced the boy again, hugging him even closer to his chest. Of course, he couldn’t miss his hair so he went on doing what he loved the most—gently stroking his locks from time to time.

Again, Taehyung used the same words Jungkook once told him—this time these were the ones from the bridge. By the time he was saying this he had no clue that one day he would be the reason for a boy to hold on a little bit longer. It was a rather general statement but it turned up to be quite important for Taehyung. So much so that Jungkook promised himself to do everything in his might so Taehyung would never stop seeing him as that reason.  

He smiled to himself, although it was a much wider smile than he expected. He hadn't felt this good in a long time. And that strange feeling of uncertainty finally disappeared. He had no problems with holding the boy close to his body and Taehyung seemed to be relaxed as well. Everything was exactly as Jungkook wanted it to be.

So all that was left for them was to lay in their arms as they were slowly drifting away to the much-needed dreamland. Jungkook expected Taehyung to fall asleep almost instantly—he could feel and see how tired he was. Well, Jungkook wasn’t any better. The match and following party also drained him out of the energy. Not to mention the conversation they just had. Somehow it was way harder than any point he scored during the match.  

He was about to fall asleep when he felt Taehyung squirming once again. He sighed quietly and propped himself up on one of his elbows to look at him again. Jungkook was a little surprised to see him like that, especially when Taehyung was eyeing him quite uncertainly. He seemed to be deeply thinking about something but was unsure if he should voice it out. Jungkook could tell it simply from the way Taehyung bit down his lip.

“Can I also ask you a question?” he finally whispered, provoking Jungkook’s surprised gaze.  

He wasn’t sure what the boy wanted to ask him but considering what they were talking about just a moment ago it could be absolutely everything. Jungkook was slightly anxious but he couldn’t just say no. If Taehyung let him ask a question that turned out to be quite an important one, then it was only fair to return the favor.

Besides, Jungkook was simply curious about what was running around his beautiful head. That’s why gently nodded and Taehyung wasted no time to ask a second later.

“Why are you keep staring at my lips? You did it at the party, you did it yesterday morning and you’re doing it just now.”

Jungkook felt as if he got caught red-handed. He immediately looked up to lock his gaze on Taehyung’s eyes, instead of staring at his rosy lips. Only then did he understand what the question was about and he had to do everything he could just not to blush uncontrollably. He had no clue that Taehyung noticed his weird behavior but maybe he was more obvious than he thought he was.

Oh my god, it only meant Taehyung wasn’t sleepy enough to miss that little kiss attempt. That was too embarrassing and Jungkook had to quickly avert his gaze, not to get exposed. There was no way in which he could explain it to the boy without being extremely awkward, that’s why he quickly thought about some weak excuse.

“Ah, I… I just find them quite… fascinating.”

What the fuck, Jungkook? What was that supposed to mean? he scolded himself internally. Out of so many things he could say he chose the weirdest shit possible. Not even Taehyung would be convinced by such bullshit, which of course he showed a second later.

“Fascinating? In what way?”

And there was no way he could avoid this question any longer. He got cornered, rightfully so when he had no clue how to defend himself. But… maybe he didn’t have to defend and run away from that question? Maybe he could once again speak his heart? That would be the most preferable option, the most sincere one. There probably wasn’t any more embarrassing topic left after everything that happened tonight.

But… he liked what they had right now. He liked how they called themselves. He liked them to be the two who found their destiny. He was so calm and relaxed a while ago and once Taehyung brought that topic up, Jungkook only became uneasy. That weird feeling came back and all it did was scream at him that he should focus on Taehyung’s lips. As if it didn’t want to get away until he finally checked how they tasted.

He was afraid of that feeling—afraid that it could ruin everything they had just established. But he probably wouldn’t be able to fall asleep next to Taehyung if he didn’t get an answer.

“There’s…. that weird feeling I have whenever I’m around you and… I don’t know exactly what it is,” he managed to put together a coherent sentence, although it wasn’t an easy task to do.

So to give himself some more courage he gently placed his hand behind Taehyung’s ear. He slowly played with his hair while his thumb gently caressed the skin on his cheekbone. It allowed Jungkook to focus on his hand, instead of Taehyung’s eyes. He knew it was only a temporary solution and the boy would soon enough ask another question, but he just wanted to hold him like that for a few seconds. A few blissful seconds when none of them felt uncomfortable with such a touch.

JK knew it could change drastically once he confessed what had been going on his mind lately. But he had already decided he would not back down. If Taehyung asked him, he would tell straight away, without any hesitation. The boy deserved to know.

“What kind of feeling?”

“The feeling that makes me want to kiss you.”

That’s it. He said it. He risked it and there was no coming back.

Jungkook could feel his heart stopping for a while as he waited for any reaction from the boy. Taehyung seemed surprised at first. His eyes were bigger, and more attentive than before. But then he suddenly dropped his gaze, almost as if he got shy by a similar statement. He was unsure, shaking his head a little, as if he didn’t know what he should do about it; how to voice out his thoughts. And just by this reaction, Jungkook knew he had made a fool of himself.

Taehyung slowly placed his hand on Jungkook’s hand which still played with his hair. JK could feel it tremble a little while the boy locked his fingers in between his. Then he grabbed it gently and removed it from his face just to bring it down to Jungkook’s chest. It looked awfully like a refusal and it was exactly how it sounded a second later.

“Ah, Jungkook, I… I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Jungkook could feel his heart sinking a little and it was another feeling he couldn’t really name. All that he knew was that in a few seconds, he managed to get a bumpy ride from heaven to hell and he would like to get a refund for the ticket.

Either Taehyung was still afraid of relationships or he simply didn’t see Jungkook in the same way. Maybe he just needed a friend or that certain someone who was his destined one to meet. He didn’t need any romantic relationship or maybe he wasn’t into boys. There were so many answers to why it wasn’t a good idea for Taehyung and Jungkook would accept any of them. It would be weird at first but JK already knew he would adapt to this new situation the way Taehyung wanted him to adapt. There was no other way.

He was a little bit down but all he could do was stare at Taehyung waiting for some more explanations. However, the boy suddenly got embarrassed and didn’t want to raise his head again. His behavior was somehow weird as it was Jungkook who was supposed to be embarrassed by even proposing it. And the way the boy still played with his hand suggested he was really stressed; as if he wanted to add something more but was truly embarrassed to continue.

“It’s not a good idea because… I…” he tried to speak but his body seemed to do the opposite. “Ah, I just know, you won’t like it… You know, I’m not a good kisser.”

It took Jungkook a long while to understand his words. And when he finally got it, he could feel his whole body relaxing at once. There was that weird weight that suddenly fell off his shoulders; that weird pressure that was gone in a second. JK had no clue he was holding his breath for so long, so it was nice to finally inhale some fresh air. And his heart. His heart started to beat once again with a lot more joy than before.

Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh a little. It was probably a way to release some stress that had accumulated inside him for these past few minutes. Oh God, so it wasn’t about me.

“Why… why are you laughing at me?” Taehyung said shily and only then Jungkook realized how weird it must have looked like. He quickly squeezed his hand tighter and sent him the biggest smile possible.

“Because it’s not a problem, dummy.”

Somehow it was even adorable to think the boy refused the kiss because he thought Jungkook wouldn’t like it. It has never happened to Jungkook in his long history of kissing. Of course, Taehyung once again had to be the first one to impress him with his extraordinary, out-of-the-box thinking.  

“N-no?” Taehyung seemed confused.

“Not at all.”

Jungkook shook his head and made sure the boy noticed the way he smiled at him gently. He wanted to assure him that experience had nothing to do here. Out of so many things that could stop Taehyung from kissing him that one was the easiest to disregard. Actually, Jungkook was more than sure that he could convince Taehyung of his point of view in a few sentences.  

“Because it’s never about being a good or bad kisser. It’s about the feeling you get while kissing the other person.”

Jungkook explained but he knew it would not be enough for Taehyung to understand. Well, JK had some experience with kissing and maybe once in his life, he could use it in theory, not in practice. That’s why he continued his lecture.

“You see, there are different types of kisses. It can be soft, it can be sweet, it can be hard, intimate, or overly explicit. You can put any emotion you like into a single kiss so it can be anything you want it to be. In some ways, it can also be an art. And as you know people enjoy different types of art. But what brings them all together is the art itself.”

Jungkook had always liked kissing. Ever since he learned how enjoyable an activity it was he never ran away from an opportunity to kiss someone. He saw it as something natural, something relaxing, and not overly extraordinary. He didn’t have to be in a relationship to do it and he never saw it as a declaration of some greater feeling. In a way, he treated them as something fun, a break from reality, maybe even a sport. For him, kisses rarely meant something, because he had never met a person who would make him feel like they really should mean something more.

Or at least that's how he always treated them in Atlanta. Since he came back here something was different about his kissing radar and Jungkook still didn’t know what was the reason for it.   

Taehyung listened carefully to Jungkook’s lecture. Although he seemed like he wanted to understand what he meant, JK could easily tell he wasn’t convinced at all. He still had that uncertain look on his face and if it wasn’t for the circumstances they were in, Jungkook would have thought it was a disgust. Maybe that’s why he waited for Taehyung to share his thoughts.

The boy waited a little more until he quietly smacked his lips and finally decided, “I don't know. I feel like the way we lay here, the way we cuddle and touch while sharing the same space is way more intimate and pleasurable than just a kiss.”

Just a kiss? Jungkook stopped himself from a loud scoff. So he made that great lecture for nothing, huh? He couldn’t believe that after everything he just said, Taehyung would still choose to cuddle over kissing. That was almost impossible. Okay, maybe it was even cute, but on the other hand, it was very naive. So much so that Jungkook couldn't help but laugh a little.

“Then you clearly haven't been kissed before.”

He said it rather automatically since he still couldn’t believe that someone who had kissed before chose something else instead. Jungkook knew there were many ways of expressing affection; that people had different love languages. JC had to admit he liked to cuddle with Taehyung as well; he loved it when they fell asleep in each other's arms. But he would throw it all away for the one, even the shortest kiss. That was exactly what that weird feeling had been telling him lately.

But once again, Taehyung saw it differently. He quickly looked down again and sat up on the bed in such a way that he almost had turned his back on him. The reaction was weird, to say the least. Jungkook learned to expect the unexpected with Taehyung, yet this time it was even beyond JK’s comprehension. They had a normal conversation about kissing. There was nothing to be embarrassed of unless…

Jungkook immediately sat up on the bed to face Taehyung—at once he understood what it was all about. He couldn’t believe what a foolish thing he had just said.

“Oh my god,” JK whispered, covering his mouth in a huge surprise. “You haven't been kissed before, right?” 

That would explain the boy's shy reaction, why he preferred what they had so far, all that cuddling on his bed each night, and why he claimed Jungkook wouldn’t like their kiss. He said he was a bad kisser simply because he had never kissed before.

Taehyung sighed heavily and responded while still shily staring down at his hands. “It's hard to do when you don't let any people close to you, don’t you think?”

Jungkook felt so bad for what he had said. He was so ignorant and looked at this whole situation from his point of view instead of taking a more global look. He assumed that at that point almost everyone had experienced their first kiss, whether it was the real one or a simple peck on the cheek; basically something a little romantic. And even if there were some people like that, it surely couldn’t be the most beautiful person, not only in this school but maybe in the entire world as well.

However, if only he had thought about it a moment longer, he would have noticed that it was a rather plausible scenario. The boy sitting in front of him had never had any healthy, honest, or close relationship. In fact, he rejected anyone who even tried to get closer to him. The fear of hurting the other person was stronger than the desire to break away from this lonely life. And if he didn’t even have any friends, no wonder he had no romantic relationship throughout his entire life. He probably didn’t want to end up like his parents.

It only made Jungkook sad. Taehyung had such a fucked up childhood. He couldn’t even experience growing up as a normal and a little stupid teenager.  

“I should have realized sooner.” Jungkook felt like an apology was needed. “I'm sorry.” 

“Don't be,” Taehyung sighed again. “I would have been surprised as well.”

A rather gloomy tone he used to say wasn’t really promising. Jungkook knew the boy didn’t take offense or was angry at him but still, it was uncomfortable to see him so down. Especially when just a few moments ago he gave him a whole-ass lecture about kissing. If he knew about Taehyung’s situation he wouldn’t try to make kissing such a glorious thing. Well, it was a glorious thing but for someone who had a basic knowledge of this topic. JK felt that now it would be even harder and weirder to continue this conversation.

“Yeah, but it sounded bad.”

“I don’t mind. Besides, from the way you described it, you must have kissed a lot.”

Taehyung looked at him and this time it was Jungkook who had to avert his gaze. He felt exposed and maybe a little embarrassed that their kissing history was vastly different. Especially when JK treated kissing not so seriously in recent times.

On the other hand, he wanted the conversation to be as natural as possible—it was the only way to get some answers. He couldn’t hide it from the boy; well, he didn’t want to hide it from the boy. He was honest throughout the whole evening so there was no point in avoiding the truth right now.

“I did kiss a lot. Probably more times than I would like to admit.”

From the way he said it, it sounded as if he was running around the city and stopping people on the sidewalks just to get another kiss for his statistics. Well, he wasn’t that desperate that’s why he went on explaining the other aspect of his kisses.

“I kissed a lot of girls, I kissed a lot of boys and I truly enjoyed every single one of those kisses. The thing is… none of them seemed to feel right.”

The last sentence caught Taehyung’s attention. He frowned, tilted his head a little to the side, and looked at JK curiously, before he finally asked, “Right?”

JK nodded slowly, “Yeah, right. You know, that’s the feeling you have whenever you've made a good decision. That feeling somewhere deep inside telling you it was the best decision you could have made. I think it’s the same with the kisses. You get this right feeling when you finally find a person who makes you want to kiss only them.”

Even though Jungkook kissed so many times he had never got that one particular feeling. And he really wanted to find it so badly. Maybe that’s why he kept kissing people to find that one person whose lips would instantly feel right. However, with each kiss, Jungkook was more and more sure that such lips did not exist. That he would be trapped in an endless chase for something that wasn’t meant for him.

“So it's almost like destiny?” Taehyung asked and only his question made Jungkook look at him again.

The boy mentioned his favorite destiny and for a second JK wanted to send him a compassionate smile. But then he gave it a second thought and he quickly understood that Taehyung was right. He had never seen that feeling in a similar way but in the end, it was just like destiny. If something was already written somewhere in the stars then it clearly must have been a destiny. Even though it was in a slightly different form.

“You can say it’s destiny,” JK finally admitted, knowing how fond Taehyung was of that word. “When you know it, you know it.”

Jungkook shrugged—there was no simpler way to say it. He didn't know what that right kiss would feel like, but he believed he would recognize this one feeling in an instant.

Taehyung nodded several times but Jungkook could tell he was deeply thinking about something. Unfortunately, he didn’t voice out any of his thoughts as he turned his head toward the window and locked his gaze on the night landscape.

JK waited for him to act in any way but the boy seemed to be frozen in time. He kind of even looked like that—the moonlight illuminated his white shirt making him look like an ice sculpture. Indeed, it looks stunning, but Jungkook much preferred to see the boy more lively than this. On the other hand, he knew Taehyung sometimes needed the time on his own to think some things through. That’s why he let him be and he simply fell back on the bed.  

Jungkook was already so tired but he felt like this wasn’t the end of their conversation. Well, it was always Taehyung who had the last word on most of the topics, that’s why Jungkook patiently waited for his reaction. Any reaction really. Something to ease his mind a little because he was more than sure he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Not when this weird feeling was still gripping his heart tightly.

Just as he was about to close his eyes, out of the corner of his eye he saw Taehyung finally looking away from the window. The boy slowly turned to his side and solely from his expression Jungkook knew he would ask him something. However, there was probably nothing in this world that could have prepared him for such a request.

“Can you check if kissing me feels right?”

At first, Jungkook thought he had misheard it badly. It must have been his mind putting words he wanted to hear inside the boy’s mouth. But the longer Taehyung stared at him, the more sure JK was that it had actually happened. He didn't know where this request came from, so at first he started to panic a little; his heartbeat dangerously sped up and the words got stuck in his throat. So much so that all he could do was utter one word.

“W-why?”

Taehyung pressed his lips together tightly and he rarely did that. He looked like he wasn't sure why he was asking for it, but the tone of his voice a moment later suggested something completely different.

“Because meeting you feels right for me.”

Jungkook was speechless for a while. There were a lot of heartwarming words he heard tonight and still all of them had one thing in common—destiny. Somehow it wasn’t only Taehyung’s favorite word but also something that truly bonded them at one point. The bridge was their red string of fate and there could be no mistake: they were the two who found their destiny.

Taehyung claimed that meeting him was his right feeling and Jungkook couldn’t be more proud to hear that. And he was so grateful that in this messy situation, Taehyung managed to think about him as well. He wanted JK to find his own right thing and as it seemed it might have been that one kiss. There was only one way to find out what this feeling bothering him really was.

The kiss. Jungkook wanted to kiss him so badly and there was no better moment to finally do it. Taehyung himself asked him to kiss him and he couldn’t just dismiss his request, right? So as he was given permission, a quite important reason, and an amazing atmosphere, he saw this kiss as a formality. After everything that had happened in his bedroom today, how they claimed to be the two who had found their destiny, it felt natural to seal it with a kiss.

That's why Jungkook immediately sat up and scooped closer to the boy—all he had to do was lean over and there would be no space between them. Taehyung didn’t move an inch and just observed Jungkook’s movements. So when he didn’t say anything or didn’t seem to protest in any other visible way, JK gently placed his hand on the boy's cheek.

Even if he partially did it not so long ago while he was playing with his hair, now he could let his hand explore a little more of his face. He wanted to do it for such a long time—to touch that perfect, velvety skin; check whether it was as delicate as it appeared in the sun rays or, as it was now, in the moonlight. And it indeed was. When he gently ran his thumb over his cheek, it almost felt as if he touched the best quality silk.

He focused on the boy's perfect, full lips, which were slightly pinkish, but always in vibrant color. He couldn’t believe that no one had ever left a gentle kiss on them. Jungkook would be the first one to know what they taste like. He wondered whether it would be the same rosy sweet taste as his perfume. Or maybe it would be something more salty like the ocean breeze scent of his beautiful locks? Or maybe something completely different, something out of the ordinary? Whatever it was, Jungkook would gladly accept it.

JK looked up for the final time. The boy's black eyes were watching him intently, and if he was a little less careful, he would surely get lost in them. Taehyung didn't seem scared or excited about what was ahead of him. He was oddly indifferent, which actually suited him. JK didn't understand how he could be so calm when his heart was racing so fast.

And then Jungkook felt this strange twinge in his heart. He had never hesitated to kiss someone and suddenly the thought of doing it with Taehyung completely paralyzed him.

For the very first time in his life, he felt that maybe the kiss would feel right. That Taehyung might be that one person he had been looking for his whole life. If they were bound by destiny it had to be him, right? Maybe it was that weird feeling that was basically forcing him to finally kiss the boy. And if that was true, Jungkook wasn’t prepared for such a scenario. What to do next? Would the search really be over? Just like that? He had never thought of what would it be like when he finally found the right lips.

So when he looked at Taehyung once again there was a huge part of him wanting the boy to be the one but there was also that one voice telling him he could not be that person. It wasn’t guaranteed that this kiss would be the right one. Even if so Taehyung might not want to be with him in any romantic relationship. And if the kiss wouldn’t be right then… how would he explain it to Taehyung? They were destined to meet but their lips… weren’t? Ah, that was such a stupid thing to say. There was no good solution to this mess.

Maybe that’s why Jungkook completely panicked.

Instead of leaning over Taehyung to give him the most important kiss of their life, he moved his hand from the boy’s cheek and put it deeper inside his hair. Then he gently pulled him closer and rested his head on his chest. JK completed the hug with his other hand, and the only kiss he gave Taehyung was a shy but tender one on the top of the boy's head.

“But you said you preferred cuddling, right?”

Jungkook knew it was a pathetic excuse but he had to say something. He couldn't openly say what was his problem although his words only confirmed what a huge coward he was. Why would he even start the kissing conversation if he panicked the moment he was given the best opportunity to kiss Taehyung? What was different from yesterday morning or the party conversations? He wanted to kiss the boy so badly back then, so why he suddenly couldn’t do it?

What’s wrong with you? You’re so dumb, Jungkook. So fucking dumb! He wanted to slap himself hard but he quickly changed his mind when he felt Taehyung wrapping his hands around his waist.

At first, the boy didn’t respond to Jungkook’s words or actions which were quite far away from the outcome Taehyung wanted to have. But surprisingly he simply hugged him back as if nothing wrong had happened. Maybe that was the best option. If he had asked him any questions, Jungkook probably wouldn’t have known how to answer.

Instead, Taehyung gently pushed him which only made them fall back on the bed once again. They were almost in the same position as the moment they lay down here for the first time that night. However, Jungkook felt like beside position, everything had changed between them. He could feel Taehyung’s shallow breaths on his skin and the pleasurable heat of his body cuddled to his side but… it wasn’t the same.

Jungkook was only ensured of that when he felt that stupid feeling coming back to grab his heart even harder. It kept screaming at him that he fucked it up and it was hard not to agree with it. There was still something in the air. Something that should have happened but didn’t because Jungkook turned out to be a complete coward and a scared idiot. And he had never been like that. It was hard to explain why he had become one today.

He even got an award for his amazing performance. It was once again that feeling which made him uncomfortable with such a closeness. So much so that even if he knew that Taehyung peacefully fell asleep on his shoulder, he couldn’t relax in the same way. It no longer gave him the comfort he needed to calm down.

And for the first time in weeks, Jungkook couldn't sleep.

Chapter Text

Jungkook didn’t find it surprising when he woke up in his bed alone. He tossed and turned in the sheets hoping he would find Taehyung beside him but to no avail. The only trace that the boy had left was that pleasant rosy scent of his perfume which lingered above one of the pillows. Maybe that’s why JK kept his head buried in that pillow for a little while. Or maybe he was completely embarrassed once he remembered everything that happened the previous night.

He could already feel his cheeks burning and there wasn’t only one reason for the way his traitorous body reacted. When he remembered how Taehyung named them—the ones who find their destiny—it only made his stomach flip with joy and those damn butterflies flying inside it couldn’t be silenced no matter how hard he tried. He felt like a kid—so damn happy.

But then he also remembered the whole kissing debate and how he destroyed everything he had been working on with one stupid decision. Jungkook wanted to throw himself into the trash bin for being such a coward—that was the only place he really belonged. How could he not kiss him? What was he even thinking? Well, he was clearly overthinking a lot, and the best kisses were those that made your mind go blank.

He growled with frustration and rubbed his hand over his face and hair to wake himself up. He hadn’t got a lot of sleep—rightfully so, and he didn’t believe anything would go well today.

Maybe it was better that Taehyung left early the way he always did while staying the night. Technically, he didn’t have to go; it was Sunday and they had no plans for the rest of the day. But if Jungkook had to face him now when the night before he spectacularly chickened out, he would probably faint at the spot. JK didn’t believe there was something more embarrassing than their yesterday conversation about their feelings but he was clearly wrong. Now he unlocked a new fear: another conversation. 

Taehyung didn’t say anything yesterday. He just accepted Jungkook’s decision (JK didn’t want to call it rejection) and politely went to sleep but it didn’t mean he was okay with that. The boy probably kept everything to himself, as always, and the only way to know what he thought about it was to talk to him—the thing Jungkook was afraid of the most.

Ugh, how can you make a complicated matter even more complicated? Are you a masochist or what? Jungkook wanted to slap himself hard.

He let out a breath and then his eyes landed on a small object lying on the nightstand on the other side of the bed. It took him a moment to realize that it was a brooch—the very same one that Taehyung had pinned to his shirt yesterday. Apparently, he must have taken it off just before going to bed and simply forgot about it in the morning.

So Jungkook wasted no time and reached for the broach with his right hand. It was in the shape of a slightly opened rose flower, studded with delicate red stones that perfectly reflected the morning sun rays. JK played with it for a while, looking at it from different angles. He was under the impression that it shimmered with different colors depending on its position, which only made it even more unique. It looked old but someone definitely took care of it properly. Maybe it was a family souvenir? If so, it must have belonged to his grandmother.

Such a treasure, Jungkook thought, still mesmerized by its beauty almost in the same way he admired Taehyung’s. How could he forget about it?

And the answer came quicker than he could have thought. He heard a rather loud noise from his kitchen. There was only one possibility of who it might have been. So Taehyung didn’t forget about his broach—he left it here on purpose since he was still in the apartment.

Jungkook froze for a moment and then quickly put the brooch back on the nightstand as if he was afraid someone would catch him looking at it. He didn’t do anything wrong yet he suddenly felt stressed. And touching the beautiful broach surely wasn’t the reason for it. The reason for his pounding heart most likely just had made some mess in his kitchen.

Jungkook slowly got out of bed and walked toward the living room with his heart on his sleeve. He peeked around the corner to check what was happening in the kitchen, but much to his surprise, Taehyung wasn't there. Jungkook could have sworn that the noise came from here. He couldn't make this up. Okay, he was slightly underslept but his mind wasn't that brutal.

He frowned and quickly walked around the bar to the right part of the kitchen and immediately realized what had happened. The mystery solved itself. Taehyung was kneeling on the floor, trying to pick up the pieces of what seemed to be a broken mug. He had already moved the larger pieces aside, and now he was struggling with the smaller remains on the floor.

Jungkook didn’t have to say anything; Taehyung quickly realized he stood over him. He raised his head for a moment and then quickly lowered it, quite embarrassed.

“Ah, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…” he wanted to explain the situation and apologize as well, although it sounded rather chaotic. As if he still was in some kind of shock.

“Nah, it's fine.”

Jungkook quickly assured him that he wasn't holding a grudge against him. He felt a bit sorry for losing one of his favorite mugs, but it was just a mug—he could buy a new one.

JK immediately grabbed a small broom and a dustpan and crouched down to help Taehyung clean up. He noticed one of the larger glass pieces near his foot and quickly cleaned it up before another tragedy could happen. He didn’t want Taehyung to stomp on it; that would be horrible, especially when he was barefooted. Fortunately, Jungkook came to the kitchen in his gray slippers.

"Are you hurt?" Jungkook asked immediately and tried to see if the boy hadn't cut himself by accident. JK remembered Taehyung once told him he was terribly afraid of blood.

He looked at the boy’s hands, but luckily he didn't find any small or nasty cuts. His shirt was still snow white, without even a single speck of blood or any other drink he might have spilled on himself. Jungkook remembered his close encounter with a hot coffee spilled on his T-shirt and he hoped Taehyung didn’t have a similar one with even hotter, almost boiling tea.

Fortunately, apart from some wrinkles from last night, the shirt seemed to be in perfect shape. Just like the floor; there were no fluids spilled around and the only traces of a committed crime were the parts of a broken mug. Taehyung seemed completely fine. At least on the outside.

When he saw Taehyung's uncertain look, Jungkook realized that his question could have had a double meaning. Maybe he was also hurt inside? And clearly not because he felt bad for breaking Jungkook’s favorite mug. Maybe he felt hurt by Jungkook’s behavior from yesterday? By how he treated him or more like how he didn’t treat him the way the boy wanted?

Damn, it was so stupid. He had no good reason to chicken out and yet that was exactly what had happened. He wanted to kiss him so badly. Even now, with the boy still looking at him, he felt like he could lunge at him, just to finally touch his lips. So why the hell couldn't he bring himself to do it? 

"I'm fine," Taehyung shook his head. "Fortunately this time the cup was empty."

Jungkook already knew he was referring to that coffee disaster back in his apartment. But maybe it's better that a similar incident didn't happen this time. Not only because JK didn’t want Taehyung to burn himself but also if he had to help the boy the same way he did it the last time, it could be quite problematic. Especially after yesterday.

Gosh, and to think that it all could have looked completely different. If he hadn't started the big lecture about kissing, he would have been happy with Taehyung calling them the ones who found their destiny. They could have had a lovely morning with a tea and healthy breakfast, enjoying their company without being awkward about it. Taehyung would smile at him with that adorable bread-cheek smile of his or maybe even steal another morning kiss which would again feel so right.

Jungkook couldn't stop thinking about all that could have happened but didn’t. And he just knew it was all his fault.

“Jungkook?”

Suddenly he heard his name and immediately came to his senses. “W-What?”

“You spaced out,” Taehyung explained calmly. "I told you, I'm fine."

He repeated his previous words with such certainty that there was no way they could have any hidden message. Even if he used that hellish word, there could be no mistake: Taehyung answered the question with its original intent.

That's why Jungkook immediately felt stupid for suddenly wandering off. His cheeks began to burn slightly and he couldn’t allow them to get to that suggestive shade of red. He had to come up with an excuse as fast as possible before Taehyung could notice something wasn’t right.

“A-ah, yes, right,” he cleared his throat. “Let me finish the cleaning. I have slippers. It will be safer like this.”

For a second Taehyung wanted to protest. He probably wanted to be the one to do the cleaning since he was the one who broke the mug. Fortunately, Jungkook managed to convince him with one quite serious look—he truly didn’t want him to get hurt by accident. Taehyung finally accepted his help and no matter how bad he felt about making such a mess, he had to back down.

So, in order not to disturb Jungkook, he straightened up, put his hands on the counter, and jumped up to sit on its top. Now his legs were freely drifting in the air while he was looking at everything from above. Jungkook quickly cleared the rest of the floor and when he decided it was safe to walk there barefooted, he threw the remains of the mug into the trash.

“I'll buy you a new one,” Taehyung offered.

“It's just a mug,” Jungkook shrugged. “I have plenty more of them.”

And as if to confirm his words, he took another mug out of the cabinet and placed it on the counter next to the one that was already there.

“So you wanted to make yourself a cup of tea?”

Jungkook assumed it must have been the reason for the morning kitchen rustles and why one of the mugs was already on the counter. He was more than sure that Taehyung would confirm his words, that’s why he reached for the box with his favorite herbs to put them inside the mug. In the end, he was an expert in making tea in this household.

“Y-yeah,” Taehyung admitted shily. “But I also wanted to make one for you. You were cold.”

“Cold?”

Jungkook stopped halfway through reaching for the tea box and turned to the boy sitting on the counter. Taehyung slightly tilted his head as if to take a closer look at him, but at the same time, he pressed his hands a little tighter. JK didn't understand this reaction, the same way he didn't understand his comment. He wanted him to elaborate on his thoughts, so he gave him a questioning look.

“When I woke up, you were shivering,” he explained, his voice slightly quieter than before. “Your hand was ice cold so I thought… I'll make you a cup of tea to keep you warm.” 

Jungkook couldn’t remember feeling cold in the morning or at any point in the night. Well, he tossed and turned quite a lot, trying to finally fall asleep the same way Taehyung managed to do it, but he simply couldn’t. His mind kept playing him the scenes from their conversation and each time it skipped forward to the kissing part, he felt his whole body shiver.  

Maybe that's why he was so cold at night? From some overthinking or emotions that were still bothering them? He rarely got cold at night, especially when they were in almost always sunny Austin, that’s why JK was so surprised when Taehyung mentioned that he seemed almost freezing in the morning.

But it also meant that the boy was still cuddled to his side when he woke up. Did he really hold his hand throughout the whole night? He must have held it if he noticed something was wrong in the morning, right? Just the thought of their tangled hands made Jungkook feel those damn butterflies making a whole-ass party in his stomach.

How was he supposed to explain what he felt now? It was getting worse and worse with each passing moment. Taehyung wanted to take care of him in such a sweet way, and Jungkook couldn't afford to fulfill his one and only request last night? Pathetic.

JK swallowed slowly, trying to somehow cope with everything that was happening around him but… it wasn’t that easy. He was under the impression that by staying silent he only deepened the distance between them. The distance that wasn’t there before. Damn, it was all inside his head as they clearly spent the whole night cuddled together. He had to say something unless he wanted to become the victim of his cruel imagination.

He was a little afraid, but he finally turned to the boy who seemed to stare at him with his expectant gaze. A bit as if he was waiting for something—something that Jungkook was supposed to figure out himself. JK felt like this must be referring to last night and subconsciously he started to panic.

Shit. What to do? What to do?

Jungkook jumped when he suddenly heard a sudden noise. He quickly recognized a familiar melody—it was his phone ringing. They both looked at the phone lying on the counter, right next to Taehyung, who discreetly looked at the screen. A moment later, however, he grabbed the phone and leaned forward to hand it to Jungkook.

“It's Jimin.”

Jungkook gave him a slightly confused and a little surprised look, but finally took his phone and answered the call.

“Guuukiieeeee,” he heard Jimin’s tired voice. “My best friend, my savior, my sunshine, my cupcake with strawberry topping, my—”

“What do you want?” JK stopped him. Whenever Jimin spoke to him like that he had some internal motive and he knew this time it was exactly the same way. So he wasn’t overly surprised when Jimin continued a second later.

“Gukkie, my golden child, please help me.”

“What happened?”

“My mom texted me they will be back earlier than I assumed and the apartment is—”

“—a complete mess,” Jungkook finished for him. He already knew when it was going.

“Well, it’s… bad. More like bad bad. And… I’m still a little bit drunk so each time I open the disinfectants I want to throw up even more. Especially those with an alcohol smell. They make me…ugh… gag.”

So it really was bad. Maybe Jimin wasn’t that drunk yesterday but he clearly felt the consequences of his actions this morning. He know how bad hungover can be so he felt sorry for Jimin that he had to go through it just now. Well, technically it was only his fault to get to this state but JK wasn’t about to scold him for having fun at his own party.

“I’m sorry but I have to use my best friend emergency card right now,” Jimin continued with a pleading voice—he really needed his help. However, at one point he stopped whining and became a little more serious, “Ah, unless you're busy right now?”

Jungkook lifted his head a little to look at Taehyung who was sitting on the counter and carefully followed their conversation. The question was: were they really busy right now? Technically, they just woke up and were about to eat the most awkward breakfast in their lives. Maybe they also had to talk about yesterday? Ah, it could go in so many directions, no matter what would they decide to do.

Besides, he didn’t know what Taehyung expected to hear from him this morning. Maybe he had already moved forward? Or maybe he needed some explanations after all? Whatever it was, it all came down to them two having another conversation. And Jungkook clearly wasn’t ready for that.

“No, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Oh, thank God! You’re the best. You’re like a last drop of water in the desert. Like the last cookie in the jar. Like the guy who—”

“Jimin.”

“Okay, okay, thank you. I’ll go and buy some banana milk. See ya!”

Just as he said that he finally hung up. Jungkook could only shake his head in disbelief. Having Jimin as his best friend was like a never-ending ride on the wildest roller coaster.

“Did something happen?” Taehyung asked suddenly and only then Jungkook realized that there was another thing he had to explain to the boy.

“Ah… well. Jimin needs some help with cleaning.”

“Understandable,” Taehyung chuckled a little. “Are you going?”

“Ah…um… yeah.”

Jungkook felt weird confirming it because it meant he had to find a way to make Taehyung leave his place. It meant no tea the boy wanted to drink, no breakfast if the boy was hungry, and no… Jungkook if he wanted to talk. He felt bad as a host to leave his apartment while his guests were still there but he had no other choice. JK kept saying that he accepted to help Jimin because he needed him, but the truth was he did it to himself—just to avoid another awkward morning.

However, much to his surprise, Taehyung suddenly clapped cheerfully and jumped from the counter. “Okay, so let’s go.”

“Let’s go?”

“Didn’t Jimin say he needed help with cleaning?”

“Um, yes, but—”

“Then he’ll surely be happy to have one more person to help.”

Well, the more people helping the better—there was no arguing with that. Still, Jungkook was surprised that the boy wanted to help so eagerly. Not everyone was so happy to do the cleaning; it was rather tiring and dirty work to do. Especially when it was about cleaning someone else’s mess. He knew Taehyung was quite talented when it came to saving clothes from all types of stains so maybe he was also an overall cleaning guru.

Whatever it was that made him so happy to help was also quite concerning. Taking Taehyung to Jimin right now was just asking for another gossip scandal. He knew the blond wouldn’t dare to say anything without his permission and he was aware of Taehyung’s past but… considering the last conversation they had about Jungkook’s feelings it would be a disaster. Especially after what happened yesterday. JK could bet Jimin would find something was wrong between them the very first moment they stepped inside his apartment.

But maybe Jimin being hungover would tam his flirtatious and detective personas enough so they would just spend the afternoon as normal friends? That was his only hope.

“Okay, let’s go,” he agreed in the end. There was no way he could say no to Taehyung who looked so determined to get some cleaning done.

Huh, so now you can’t say no to him? When were you yesterday when he also asked you to kiss him? You had no problem with saying no back then! Jungkook shook his head as quickly as this thought came to his mind.

“I’ll give you something to change.”

“Ah, no need to—”

“Come on, you won’t be cleaning in that shirt.”

That would be scandalous. Probably even more than showing up at Jimin’s place with Taehyung dressed in his clothes. At that moment everything would be scandalous so Jungkook just gave up. No matter how he looked at it, it was one of the weirdest mornings in his life. He didn’t mind it turning out to be one of the weirdest days as well. It couldn’t go worse than the last night, so JK was ready to risk it. 

⊶⊷

As soon as they entered Jimin's apartment, the blond immediately materialized at the entrance and threw himself at Jungkook's neck. He hugged him as tight as he could, and considering he probably didn't have much strength after yesterday's party, it wasn't a strong hug. However, it was quite significant, because a moment later he started to yelp.

“Gukkie, my dear, thank you so much that you came,” he almost cried out into JK's shirt. “I can't do it all alone and my parents for sure will kill me if the apartment is going to look like that. You know my mom’s rage. Please, spare me from suffering.”

Oh, and Jungkook surely knew how dangerous his mom was whenever she was angry. Well, she never did anything wrong but she knew how to make her son and her son’s friends behave. Jungkook felt it on his skin more times than he would like to admit, so he knew how important it was to save Jimin just now.

However, when he took a discreet look around the apartment, he knew Mrs. Park's rage was rather inevitable. Just from the smallest glance, Jungkook could tell the apartment looked horrible. There were so many red cups everywhere, some of them empty, some of them still with drinks; bottles rolling on the floor between bags of sweets and other snacks scattered around. The table looked as if it was flooded, much like half of the floor and, unfortunately for Jimin, one of the armchairs. As soon as JK entered the apartment, he felt the strong smell of alcohol, and even the opened window couldn’t help it.

Jungkook sighed. He knew it would be a busy afternoon.

“It's okay.” Jungkook tapped the blond on the shoulder, suggesting he should stay away from him. JK didn't want to tell him this directly, but he could easily see and smell that Jimin drank a lot yesterday. “We can do it. Besides, I brought some help.”

And only then did Jimin realize that Jungkook wasn't the only guest in his apartment. He immediately straightened up and became a little more serious, before he looked over Jungkook's shoulder to see Taehyung standing right behind him.

JK could bet that he was a little surprised to see him; especially when we wore some random old clothes Jungkook managed to find in his closet. He looked beyond ready to help with the cleaning and seeing the walking perfection running around the apartment with a mop was surely not on Jimin’s gossip bingo. However, he quickly came back to his senses and greeted his guest.

“Ah, Taehyung, hey,” Jimin waved to him in tiny and sent him a shy smile. “Good to have you. I need all the help possible today.”

“I thought so,” Taehyung said under his breath but loud enough for Jungkook to hear it.

Jungkook frowned. Was it his way to tease him? To remind him that he didn’t want him to come and help Jimin? Whatever Taehyung had in mind, JK couldn’t ask as the boy quickly pushed past him and Jimin to reach one of the armchairs—the one in a far worse state than all the furniture in the living room.

“We have to clean it as soon as possible if you don't want it to leave a stain. Where do you keep the cleaning supplies?”

Taehyung sounded so determined to help with the cleaning in the best possible way, that both Jungkook and Jimin were a little stunned for a second. They weren’t finished with the greetings yet and the boy suddenly started talking about the potential stains. Well, JK knew how good Taehyung was when it came to stain removal by homemade methods (so did his white T-shirt), no wonder he became so serious about it.

Jimin seemed a little dizzy, and not just from the alcohol. He looked uncertainly at Jungkook as if he was asking where it all came from. JK quickly calmed him down with one reassuring look and when he slightly nodded, the blonde just turned around and pointed toward one of the doors.

“There. Come, I'll show you.”

He moved slowly to the bathroom and opened one of the lower cabinets to show off his entire inventory of what could be considered cleaning supplies. The three of them stood over the chemicals, but finally, only Taehyung crouched down and started looking through the next bottles, examining the labels.

Jimin looked at Jungkook suspiciously as if he wanted to know what exactly Taehyung was doing in the apartment. Or more importantly: why they came here together. He stared questioningly at his friend, but JK kept staring at Taehyung rummaging through the locker. Only after a moment did he realize that something was wrong just as he looked up to meet the blonde's pretentious gaze.

What? he said inaudibly, and frowned.

In response, Jimin just pointed at Taehyung.

Jungkook didn't quite know how to explain it all. It was hard to do with words, let alone without words. Shit, JK couldn’t explain it to himself so how he was supposed to do it to Jimin. The most important, however, was how he was supposed to explain it to Taehyung?

All the morning, the boy acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened yesterday. Jungkook knew he couldn’t be so indifferent. Even if he didn’t care that much about the kissing part there still was the destiny part of their conversation and JK didn’t believe that the boy would miss the talk about his favorite force of the universe.

That’s why he was afraid that Taehyung once again decided to act in front of him in order to not jeopardize their friendship or whatever there was between them. He was such a good actor and even though Jungkook thought he knew Taehyung’s behavior by heart by now, he still couldn’t be one hundred percent sure.

Damn, this was all too complicated. Jungkook had never thought that not kissing someone would cause more problems than kissing them. It didn't make any sense at all.

And the longer he thought about it with a rather uncertain expression, the more Jimin was convinced that something was up. The blond wasted no time and started their aggressive conversation using only gestures.

First, he pointed at Taehyung, then at Jungkook, and spread his hands in a questioning manner. Jungkook just shook his head unconvinced, which only made Jimin angry. His friend's indecisive behavior only made him uneasy and he had to find out what was going on immediately.

So he once again pointed at Jungkook, then at himself, waved his hand toward the kitchen, and finally gestured that they had to talk privately; this time with words.

Jungkook started to protest and shook his head vigorously, but before Jimin insisted even further, Taehyung interrupted their wordless argument.

“This should work,” he said, holding one of the pink bottles in his hand. 

He straightened up and showed his selection to Jimin as if he was asking his permission to use it. The blond was slightly surprised by this gesture, but since he had absolutely no clue how to use similar chemicals, he only nodded, giving the boy full control over the cleaning supplies. Taehyung took the bottle and some cloth with him and without a word hurried to the living room.

If the blond needed any more proof that something was up, he just got it. So he immediately put his hands on his hips and looked at Jungkook in that one meaningful way. But Jungkook had no intention of talking to him, at least not now. He quickly leaned into the cabinet and took out the pack of trash bags.

“I'll collect bottles and trash,” he stated before Jimin could ask anything else. “You can start with the kitchen. If you want me to help you further, banana milk won’t be enough. I need some coffee.”

He said it quite confidently and immediately went to the living room himself.

They started cleaning, and there was a lot of work to do. Jungkook collected every little piece of trash from the entire apartment, carefully sorting it between three bags. And when he finally managed to take care of all the rooms except the kitchen, all three of the bags were almost full. Jimin sat meekly in the kitchen the entire time, mostly doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher. Judging by the sounds, he did it quite slowly—he probably still didn’t feel well.

Just as he had promised, Taehyung took care of all the stains and in no time at all they magically disappeared from the armchair and parts of the carpet. The boy even cleaned the glass table making all the furniture in the living room look brand new. If Jungkook hadn’t been in this apartment before, he would have thought it had been completely renovated.

The last thing that was left to do was to vacuum and mop the floors but they all collectively decided they needed a break. Jimin finally stopped panicking that his parents would see the after-party mess and volunteered to make something hot to drink. He prepared a promised coffee for JK and placed the red mug on the kitchen counter.

“Thanks,” Jungkook nodded with gratitude. “Just give me a minute. I'll throw away the trash and we can drink it together.”

“Stay. I'll go,” Taehyung offered.

“Ah, no I can—”

“You should drink your coffee when it's still hot.” 

Jungkook wanted to protest further but Taehyung quickly grabbed the bags and put them outside the door. There was no way to get them downstairs in one go, so it would take some time to do it individually. Jungkook wanted to help but Taehyung only waved his hand dismissively and closed the door behind him.

Jungkook sighed and finally plopped down on a chair in the kitchen. Well, he really wanted to drink some coffee so he decided to follow Taehyung’s advice.

Jimin immediately put his coffee mug on the table together with his own and for a second longer he just stood over his friend. JK looked up just to see what it was about and only one glance was enough to see what was on Jimin’s mind. Jungkook was tired of all the cleaning he did, but he knew that he would soon feel even worse. Jimin never gave up and he wasn’t about to do it now either.

“Okay, Gukkie, I might be hungover as fuck but I'm not blind. I'm not an expert with Taehyung but I majored in you, so I know. There is a strange tension between you two and you can't tell me nothing is going on here. So you better tell me now.”

But Jungkook really didn’t want to talk.

It was all so stupid and he was sure that Jimin would only curse him for all that stupidity and cowardness he expressed yesterday. He didn’t need another person to state something he already knew. And he certainly didn’t need a reminder—his mind was already doing this cruel job.

On the other hand, hiding it from Jimin was only worse. He would pressure him even more and Jungkook would have to tell him sooner or later. So maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to tell him right now. Jimin already knew about that weird feeling he had lately—maybe he also knew something more about that matter. Maybe he would think of some reasonable solution. Maybe there was a way to save this day from being the most awkward one in his entire life.

So despite every doubt he had, he sighed and muttered under his breath, “It's nothing.”

“Nothing has a lot of meanings lately, huh?” Jimin said quite irritated with such an answer. “Don’t bullshit me like that. What happened yesterday? You left the party together and you surely spent the night at your place. He is wearing your clothes. Again.”

It was rather obvious, so Jungkook had no intention of hiding it or making Jimin even more angry. That’s why he quickly nodded and clarified, “Yeah, we did. But… I told you. Nothing happened.”

“Clearly something must have happened.”

“No, it’s—”

“Don't lie to me. I know you. I can see that—”

“The thing is nothing happened!” Jungkook raised his voice and smashed his hand on the table as he couldn’t stand this weird interrogation any longer.

Once he let it go, he could also feel so hopeless. He lowered his head in resignation and leaned it on his hand which he rested on the table. And at this point, he didn’t know what got him even more frustrated; Jimin’s inquisitiveness or the fact that truly nothing had happened yesterday. Because that was the real problem of yesterday night: when something was supposed to happen, Jungkook fucked it up like a true professional.

The weird state he got himself into just now caught Jimin’s attention. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to still argue with JK and order him to confess everything that happened yesterday. However, he stopped himself at the last moment. It looked as if the lighting just struck him—he finally understood what it was all about.

“Oh. Ooooh. Now I get it,” he nodded slightly. “Then what was supposed to happen?”

That was quite an open question. Even though Jungkook knew that he was supposed to kiss the boy, he had no clue what would happen after. Would the kiss feel right? Would the boy feel the same? Would they be something more than just the ones who found their destiny? If he wasn’t so dumb, he would have all the answers by now. Instead, he sat in Jimin’s kitchen wondering why all that happened was just… nothing.  

Jungkook looked up and met Jimin's expectant gaze. Exceptionally, his friend's look was rather warm and comforting; the one that only encouraged him to confide. Therefore, he did not wait any long and confessed immediately.

“He… he asked me to kiss him.”

Jimin blinked a few times, although Jungkook still felt as if his friend was frozen in time for a second. He waited for a response, but all Jimin could say were some insignificant mutters. “Huh?”

“Taehyung asked me to kiss him,” Jungkook repeated and that was enough to bring Jimin back to life.

“Taehyung?!”

Jimin shouted and almost immediately covered his mouth—he was exceptionally loud. So much so they both had to look toward the doors just to make sure Taehyung didn’t sneak back to the apartment. That would be too embarrassing if he heard their conversation.

On the other hand, JK couldn’t blame Jimin for reacting in such a way. Well, Jungkook himself was quite surprised when he heard this request yesterday. However, for Jimin, a person who knew Taehyung more as a walking perfection, a person with only one flaw—the no-dating rule, any romantic requests or whims must have sounded really strange. Especially when he said them to none other than his best friend.

Jimin quickly apologized for his sudden outburst and gestured for Jungkook to continue. “And?”

But JK just knew that the blond would not like what he was about to hear in a second. And if he was surprised now, he expected him to be a least twice as much surprised. Maybe that’s why Jungkook hesitated for a second longer before he finally let it go.

“And… I didn't.”

“WHAT?!” Jimin shouted again—as expected. “Wha-what? But… but why?!”

“I-I… I don't know.”

“How can you not know why?! How?!”

“I don’t—”

“There are hundreds if not thousands of people wanting to kiss this guy and you were lucky enough to be asked to do it. And… and you didn't? I don't get it.”

“Then you're not the only one who doesn't get it,” Jungkook sighed. Because, for fucks sake, he really didn’t know why he didn’t kiss Taehyung that night.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I-I don't know, Jimin. I kissed hundreds of times with many people, boys and girls, and I have never hesitated for a split second before doing it. And somehow yesterday I just… I just couldn't do it.”

That sounded so pathetic. So much so that Jungkook wanted to bury himself six feet under the ground or at least somewhere between those trash bags Taehyung just took out of the apartment. Instead, he only buried his face in his hands and leaned forward. He couldn’t even explain how bad he felt about this situation. 

It was only when Jimin saw how confused his friend really was that he realized there must be something more to that story. He finally calmed down, although it wasn't that easy. He gently brushed his hair back and took a deep breath before he sat down on a chair opposite Jungkook. He calmly stared at his friend and hoped that his less expressive attitude would force JK to continue the story in a slightly less chaotic way.

“Okay, let’s start once again,” he said calmly. “Tell me what happened exactly.” 

Funny how nothing happened and at the same time quite a lot of things happened as well. Jungkook wasn’t sure if he should talk about everything and they surely didn’t have enough time to go through all of that. So even though he didn’t see it as the best possible solution he finally made up his mind and sighed.

“So for once I followed your advice and asked him what we are. I… just wanted to know if I’m being delusional or there is something happening between us.”

“Oh, that’s… unexpected.” Jimin seemed to be surprised that JK had actually listened to him. “So… what are you two then?”

“He said we’re the two who found their destiny.”

“Oh, shit.”

Jimin couldn’t control his emotions once again, which only made Jungkook a little more uncomfortable. Did he say something wrong? Was that name something bad or cringe or… what exactly?

“Huh?”

“Gukkie, that’s romantic as fuck.”

Ah, so that was the reason for his behavior. Jungkook should have expected that but maybe he didn’t want to associate this word with Taehyung just yet. Okay, maybe it was romantic but most importantly it felt right. The moment Taehyung named them the two who found their destiny, Jungkook just knew it was the best definition possible; whether it was romantic, platonic, or anything else. His heart simply recognized it as something real.  

“It’s like something out of the silly rom-com we all cry to as a guilty pleasure. Or like lyrics to a romantic song. Actually, I might have heard it in one of the pop songs. Wait a minute.”

Jimin reached for his phone, determined to find that one song, but stopped himself the second before unlocking it. He quickly shook his head and focused back on JK.

“Anyway, it’s not the time for that. What matters is what happened after.” He sent him a telling look, suggesting he should continue with the story. “You… didn’t feel the same way or…”

“What? No.”

“No?”

“I mean, I wanted to kiss him. I even told him about it.”  

“Then what was the problem?”

Exactly. What was the problem? It all seemed to be just perfect—even Jimin could tell that. And despite the romantic atmosphere, Taehyung’s words, and his own desires, Jungkook still couldn’t do it. Ah, what is wrong with me? 

Jungkook swallowed slowly, because he never liked sharing his feelings, not even with his best friends. He wasn’t used to serious and personal conversations and somehow only Taehyung made him more open on the most important matters. And since the boy couldn’t really help him right now, he just had to trust in Jimin. He always knew what to do, even though sometimes his solutions were quite extreme.

“We talked about how kissing others can be quite satisfying but at the same time, it might not feel right. I told him that despite all the kissing I had done in my life, I'd never found someone who gave me such a feeling. The right feeling. And… somehow Taehyung asked me to check if he was that one person.”

Even now, when he said it at loud, he still couldn’t believe it actually happened. That it was Taehyung who proposed it all.

“A-and I completely panicked,” he continued with his voice shaky from emotions. “Like… what if he is right? What if kissing him will feel right?”

Jimin listened carefully to the next words until he finally narrowed his eyes. He still didn't understand Jungkook's problem. “And what about it?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“What about it?” Jimin repeated, shrugging lightly. “If he turns out to be the right person then you'll probably be the luckiest man alive. Both of you will be, right?”

“But—”

“I don’t understand you. Why are you so afraid of him being the one? There’s nothing wrong about it. I don’t know exactly what you or Taehyung feel but I can tell you that there’s something between you two that just feels special. Seeing how badly you care about him makes me believe he can overtake whatever he's struggling with, just because you're with him. The same goes for you. You're much stronger than I remember, and I don't mean it in a physical way. It all seems as if you were really destined to meet at this goddamn bridge.” 

Jimin stared at him aggressively but Jungkook still couldn’t answer in any way. He knew the boy was right; that everything that was happening between him and Taehyung only made them both stronger. He also knew it had to be destiny since not only Taehyung but also Jimin mentioned it. And if they both were so sure about it and even his heart recognized this strange feeling as destiny, then there could be no other answer.

So why the fuck am I so stressed about it?

Jungkook could not stand it any longer and cursed under his breath, just to let go of all those weird emotions; all the frustration. It wasn’t an easy day for him.

So while Jungkook tried to catch a breath and settle his thoughts, Jimin once again looked at him closely to study his reaction. And it suddenly hit him. There was one quite possible reason why Jungkook acted so defensive, why he tried to find some excuse and couldn’t tell why he was so reluctant to accept that Taehyung might have been the one.

There was a chance that JK already knew it but was too naïve or blind to see it. So it must have been Jimin who would finally say it out loud. There was no other way to make Jungkook understand it.  

“You're not afraid of him being the right person. You're afraid he won’t be the one. You want him to be the one. Am I right?”

They looked into each other’s eyes for a little longer until Jungkook finally averted his gaze. And that gesture only meant one thing: Jimin was right. Jimin was so damn right.

Jungkook wanted Taehyung to be the one. He wanted that certain kiss to feel just right. In the same way that meeting JK felt right for Taehyung. And maybe that’s why he was also so afraid of it. Because what if despite all those hints, feelings, and that damn destiny the kiss would somehow not feel right. What then? How would he explain it to Taehyung? How would they continue with their relationship?

He lowered his head, trying to gather his thoughts but it wasn’t easy. He felt Jimin placing his hand on his shoulder in a supportive gesture but it wasn’t the help he needed right now.

“So what now?” JK asked quietly, still confused about what he should do.

“There's only one way to find out.”

Jimin’s response was quick and with the way he said it, there could be only one thing on his mind—a kiss. It was too absurd for Jungkook, that’s why he immediately glared at him.

“What? You know I'm right.” 

“And how do you imagine me doing that? After everything that happened?"

“Come on, it’s a quite simple thing to do.”

“Simple? What am I supposed to say?” He spread his hands helplessly and modulated his voice to sound overly sweet, “Hey, Taehyung, remember that time when you asked me to kiss you but I was too afraid to do it? Yep, so actually now I'm fine. Is the kiss still an option?”

“Don't be ridiculous. Just talk to him.”

“We can't talk all the time.”

“Says a person who chose talking over kissing just yesterday.”

“I chose cuddling.” Jungkook wanted to defend himself in this quite heated argument but it didn't work out very well.

“Then you have your answer,” Jimin scoffed, and just as he did that the door opened and Taehyung strode back to the apartment. Jungkook immediately gave the blond a warning look just so he wouldn’t even dare to continue this conversation or, worse, start a new one with Taehyung. JK had no intention of solving this kissing problem right now. He wasn't ready for this yet.

However, Jimin had one more thing to say. He quickly leaned over Jungkook and whispered to him quite firmly, “Just do it before he goes to New York.”

JK quickly and quite forcefully pushed the boy away from him, aiming at his shoulder. He wanted to definitely end this conversation and silence his friend before Taehyung could hear anything. Jungkook wouldn’t forgive him if he messed it up so badly.

Jimin sent him one last angry and quite irritated look before he switched to being his normal smiley self. He straightened up and left the kitchen, heading toward the living room. “Taehyung, do you want a cup of tea?”

JK didn't hear the answer, but he could guess that Taehyung probably agreed—there was no way he could refuse a cup of his favorite tea. Besides, Jungkook remembered that the boy wanted to drink one back in his apartment, that’s why he stood up and grabbed the kettle. He could take care of Taehyung’s order the way he always did it. At this moment it was probably the only thing he could do for the boy. Pathetic.

Chapter Text

This week seemed to be truly unbearable. Although Jungkook knew exactly what he should do to solve this whole heart-troubling situation, he couldn't find the right moment to do it. And courage. He really lacked courage.

Taehyung spent the entire week revising for the finals, although this time he did it mostly at school rather than at Jungkook’s apartment. He needed the last-minute tips from his favorite history teacher and well, the man would help him way better than Jungkook ever could; in terms of the history of art of course. To say it was convenient for JK was to say nothing. The less time he spent with the boy the less awkward around him he felt.

However, each time he felt bad for avoiding Taehyung and the whole problem, Jimin miraculously materialized in front of him just to stab him in the back even more. The moment he saw JK, he ordered him to act or not to be a pussy. Well, there were a few more explicit names his friend called him for being a coward and at one point Jungkook started to avoid the blond as well.

Hell, he couldn’t even focus on the training for the Saturday match. And if basketball didn’t help then he truly was in a tragic condition. So just to sum it up: this week was shit.

Somehow he managed to survive up to Friday which came surprisingly quick. It was the day before Taehyung would fly away to New York—the last day Jungkook could actually do something. Maybe that’s why he woke up even more paralyzed than yesterday. He could feel something hanging over his head, reminding him he had to finally talk to Taehyung. He couldn’t put it off forever.

But… hell, how am I supposed to do it?  

“Jeon Jungkook.”

Suddenly he heard his full name, along with the loud bang of his locker door being brutally closed in front of his face. He flinched a little and held his breath. After the first shock wore off, his heart slightly calmed down but he couldn’t take a deeper breath—as it turned out he stood face to face with Jimin. The blond glared at him and JK didn't have to be a fortuneteller to know what was on his mind.

Therefore, to delay this conversation a little bit, he opened his locker once again, somewhat ignoring the blond. However, before he could open it fully, Jimin slammed the doors with even greater force than before. This irritated Jungkook enough to give his friend an angry look.

"Okay, what is it?" he snorted.

“You know perfectly well what is it, you damn coward.”

The response was equally aggressive. Jungkook didn't like the name he was called, but in the end, Jimin was right—he was a coward. And since the beginning of this week, Jimin hasn't called him by any other name than that or used his full name. JK had a feeling that he would hear his beloved and affectionate Gukkie from Jimin’s lips only after he solved this whole matter.

“Can you stop acting like that?”

JK could no longer pretend he was okay with how Jimin treated him—he was fed up with the attitude he had been giving him lately. Jungkook knew that Jimin wanted the best for him and pushing him to finally talk with Taehyung was the right thing to do but… the more he insisted, the more he pushed and tried to motivate him, the more Jungkook felt bad for failing the first time Taehyung asked him to kiss him. So in the end, it all had quite the opposite effect.  

“I can ask you the same thing,” Jimin said firmly and folded his hands against his chest. “Stop acting childish and just talk with him. Today's the last day.”

“Why is it the last? Can't I talk to him when he comes back?”

Jungkook didn’t understand why Jimin insisted on doing it before the New York trip. If only, such an important conversation could make everything even worse and Jungkook didn’t want to stress the boy even more before the tests. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he ruined everything Taehyung was preparing for just by his selfish desires and one stupid kiss.

Besides, a week without Taehyung by his side or at his apartment meant Jungkook could finally organize his thoughts and think it through once more. It was easier to sort his feelings out when Tommy wasn’t sleeping with his head resting on his chest.

But Jimin obviously had a different opinion.

“Do it now when it is still in the air. Next week it can be already too late and even more awkward. Actually, each day you wait makes it even more awkward.”

Well, he was right with the second part but JK had no intention to agree with him officially. It would only bust Jimin’s confidence and that was the last thing he wanted right now.

“But maybe we need a week off like that? Maybe it will turn out it is just an attach—”

“If you say something about that stupid attachment, I’ll slap you right now with that very hand.”

Jimin raised his right hand a little to show him he wasn’t joking—as if his serious tone wasn’t enough for Jungkook to understand he was ready to do it.

“We both know it’s not just an attachment so forget about this stupid thought,” he said firmly. “You see, this is precisely why you had to do it today. You start to come up with some weird excuses and I won’t let you waste such an opportunity.”  

"But—"

“I won't let you!”

He raised his voice so much so that Jungkook himself was surprised to see Jimin so invested in that matter. JK looked around hesitantly to check if anyone else had noticed their strange behavior. The blond was really loud and there was quite high a chance he caught someone’s attention that way. Fortunately, this time they were lucky not to be heard but it didn't stop Jungkook from giving the boy a warning look.

Jimin slowly swallowed and raised his chin up, trying to mask the fact that he was a little unwary. After a while, however, he discreetly grabbed Jungkook's forearm, which forced the boy to gently move closer to him and lean in. Only when Jimin was sure that no one but his friend would hear their conversation did he decide to continue. And the very first thing he did was to threaten Jungkook with his finger.

“Just promise me you'll do it today.”

"Jimin, stop it—”

“Promise.”

He kept pushing, and Jungkook somehow couldn't bring himself to make that promise. His hand didn't even twitch when Jimin stuck his little finger out in front of him. Pinky promises were sacred; he couldn’t disrespect it like this. JK knew it was a promise he might not keep.

Jimin waited for a long time but at one point he ran out of patience. He couldn't stand it anymore and sighed, “If you don't kiss him, I will.”

Jungkook grimaced at the very thought of such a possibilityand gave his friend a half-disgusted and half-warning look. He knew that Jimin was only teasing him but still, it didn’t sit well with him. They had to drop this topic before he could imagine that horrible thing happening.

“If there is a spare kiss, it cannot go wasted, am I right?”

“Jimin,” JK said firmly to stop his friend's playful remarks. There was nothing to joke about right now.

“Oh, stop with this pout. You know I'm kidding, you idiot.” Jimin hit him playfully on the arm. “There's no way in the world he would let me do this. But you know what? He permitted you to do it. You got permission to kiss him. And I bet he hasn't changed his mind since that night.”

Jimin dug his finger deep into Jungkook's torso which turned out to be a little painful; JK didn't expect the blond to have so much strength. It really hurt, so he took a step back to free himself from his friend’s hand.

Still, somewhere in the back of his mind, he was sure that Jimin was once again right. If only he asked Taehyung to let him kiss him, he would surely have said yes. But it was such an awkward thing to even ask for. He never asked; he just kissed. Yet somehow, now doing it spontaneously didn’t feel like the right way. The last thing he wanted was to freak Taehyung out or do something that the boy wouldn’t like or agree to.

That was one of the reasons he was so hesitant—he didn’t know how to even start such a conversation. Anything he came up with felt just… weird. However, there was one more reason why he was so afraid to even try it.

Jungkook sighed.

“Okay. Let's say… Let's say I kiss him today and it turns out he's the one…”

Jimin immediately became way more serious and carefully listened to his friend's next words. He switched to his best friend mode—the one who was ready to provide some advice, constructive opinion, and help. It wasn’t about shouting and intimidating Jungkook until he understood the problem. And to see Jimin in his friendlier version was what JK needed right now. Maybe that’s why it was easier to confess further.

“The kiss might feel right but the timing… not.”

Jungkook knew what he had just said might have been quite controversial, so he had to clarify before Jimin could interrupt him.

“I want him to recover. I want him to finally be happy with himself. It's not the time to be selfish and think about me and my desires. Not a place to look for what feels right for me. I don't want to mess him up like that. Turning our relationship into something more right now feels… inappropriate.”

He knew how much Taehyung was afraid of people and relationships, how he had never had a healthy, family or romantic relationship in his life. He didn't want to impose himself on him at this moment, he didn't want the boy to stop taking care of himself and become interested in him instead. Taehyung didn't understand how relationships worked and this wasn't the time to teach him. As long as they didn't put any romantic label on it, as long as they supported each other as the ones who found their destiny it was fine. Wanting Taehyung in any other way felt so selfish right now.

“He should love himself before he can start loving others,” Jungkook added and looked down rather gloomily.

Because that's what it was all about. He didn't want to build their relationship on Taehyung’s traumas. He wanted the boy to finally recover and only then he could decide what he really wanted. Requiring a decision from him right now was just cruel. Taehyung would surely agree; not because he wanted it but because he trusted Jungkook more than anyone else and he strongly believed in his beloved destiny. And it almost felt as if Jungkook was using him. Because how could Taehyung make a sensible decision about something he had no clue about?

Jimin narrowed his eyes, carefully analyzing the following words. Jungkook didn't believe he would understand exactly what he meant without having a full insight into the matter. He didn't know the boy's full story, he didn't know his problems. And yet his next words couldn't have been more on point.

“Maybe he needs someone to show him that loving him is possible,” Jimin suggested, and for a second Jungkook was too stunned to speak.

Suddenly he remembered that one conversation he had with Taehyung during the rainstorm. Back then he proposed that he could be the one to show him that liking him was possible; that if Jungkook liked that side of him, the real him, then Taehyung could start liking himself as well. Maybe it was possible to do the same thing but with… love. Well, it was even harder to do but it certainly was one of the ways. Why hadn’t he thought about it before?

“Okay, but… what will I tell him if the kiss doesn't feel right?”

Because although Jimin's theory made sense, there was one problem with it. What if it turns out it wasn’t what he had been looking for all his life? What would he say to Taehyung? How would he explain that something that felt right to Taehyung didn’t feel right for him? And if not Jungkook, who was going to show the boy how to love himself?

“Remember, being destined to meet, doesn't mean you're destined to be something more,” Jimin said slowly, carefully choosing his next words. “You can be the two lost souls, finding each other on that bridge. Soulmates. A long-lost remedy. Something out of the dictionary. There are more ways to love other people, not only romantically or physically. I believe whatever it is for both of you, it is the right thing. And there is only one way to find out what it is.” 

With that final words, Jimin finally pulled away from Jungkook and gave him some more space. And that was exactly what he needed at that moment–he suddenly had trouble breathing. Damn, he didn't expect it to be so confusing.

JK knew this kiss would give him many answers, but it would probably raise even more questions. For a moment, Jungkook wanted to forget about all of them and continue with what they already had: to fall asleep with Taehyung in his arms without caring about what actually was between them—the same way they had been doing it for the past month.

However, he knew he could no longer pretend or live in a lie. Not when all he had been saying to Taehyung since he knew him better was to drop that fake persona and start living the way he always wanted. If Taehyung was going to fully recover, Jungkook couldn't avoid this conversation any longer. No matter how much he was afraid of it.

“Ah, and one more thing,” Jimin added. “Stop seeing this kiss as something so great. It’s just a kiss. Just enjoy it and it surely will feel right.”

Jungkook knew what Jimin had in mind; that it wasn’t possible to know for sure that someone was the right person after one kiss but… it was just Jungkook’s thing. Nobody else had to understand it and JK had no intention of explaining it any further to Jimin. It was his way of believing that there was a greater force pulling strings in his life; or maybe just an excuse to kiss even more. Whatever it was, it had a great meaning for him. That’s why he was so stressed to kiss the boy.

Nevertheless, Jimin’s words slightly calmed him down. Not entirely but somehow he was a little bit more confident about what was about to happen. Well, he was so freaking stressed and had no clue how to even talk with Taehyung but there had to be a way out of this situation.

Jungkook looked at Jimin, who was still looking at him in that warm way. He was impressed by everything he said to him just now. He didn't believe the blond would be able to give him such a piece of good advice, nor that he would drop that feisty attitude once it got a little more serious.

"How are you so wise today?" he asked with a slight smirk on his lips. He didn't want to talk seriously anymore; he was already so tired of it. And still, there was one quite serious conversation ahead of him. 

“I always am. Glad you finally noticed.”

Jimin responded in his usual sassy tone and JK was glad that the boy understood his intentions and didn’t try to push even more. Maybe that’s why Jungkook finally smiled at him—he almost forgot how to do it.  

And at that moment they both heard the bell ringing, clearly telling them to go to their next classes. They had to part ways, so Jimin just squeezed Jungkook's shoulder one more time.

“Just let me know how it goes.”

He gave him another faint smile and hurried to one of the classes. For a second, Jungkook was still too stunned to act but he managed to quickly come to his senses. He shook his head and, with a slightly trembling hand, opened the locker again to take out the textbook. This time no one slammed it in his face. Or maybe someone should. Anything just to make him a little more decisive about what he wanted to tell Taehyung once he got home.

⊶⊷

When Jungkook came home, Taehyung was already there. JK could tell solely from his shoes left neatly in the hall together with his bag—whenever the boy came earlier he left all his belongings there. It was quite convenient. Jungkook didn’t have to guess if he was alone or not.

Since that one afternoon when Jungkook caught Taehyung sleeping on the staircase, waiting for him to go back home, JK gave him a spare set of keys–it was much easier that way. Taehyung could go here straight after school to study a little while Jungkook was still training. Also, he could close the doors each time he sneaked out in the morning. Jungkook trusted him, besides he didn’t have anything of great value in his apartment to be stolen. Probably the most valuable thing he got was the time they spent together working on Taehyung’s therapy.

The boy felt comfortable in his apartment and Jungkook was glad he could somehow contribute to whatever Taehyung prepared for while studying in his kitchen. Or whenever they talked about his meetings with the therapist while sipping some lemon tea. Sometimes it felt as if they already lived together. And to be honest, Jungkook wouldn’t mind that either. If only Taehyung wanted it of course.

And it would be another quite domestic afternoon if it wasn’t for that one thing Jungkook had to do today.

JK took a deep breath and finally entered the kitchen, remotely ready for what was about to happen. Taehyung was already there, sitting in his favorite place and carefully studying his notes. This time, however, he also tapped something on his laptop. Judging by the contents of the cup he held under his right hand, Jungkook deduced that the boy must have been sitting there for just over an hour. He probably came here right after his classes; he still wore the pale pink shirt he had at school today.

As soon as Taehyung saw JK in the room, he quickly closed his laptop, gulped down the rest of the cold tea and stood up.

“Jungkook, you're finally here. Come on, we don't have a lot of time.”

Saying that he grabbed his laptop and rushed to the living room, leaving Jungkook quite confused. He didn’t expect to see Taehyung in such a good mood—it was quite an unusual view. However, JK couldn’t be mad about it. He liked seeing the boy happy or at least happier. Even if it was only about school stuff and that student mode he sometimes got himself into. Once Taehyung got his head fixed on school stuff, especially the upcoming finals, there was no way to bring him back to normal.

When Jungkook was still too stunned to speak or even move, Taehyung quickly came back to the kitchen and grabbed his wrist, only to drag him behind to the living room. His grip was firm yet somehow delicate at the same time and for a second JK couldn’t focus on anything but Taehyung’s hand on his wrist. Usually, it was the other way around–maybe that’s why it felt different this time.

But it couldn’t be the reason why Jungkook felt so awkward about it. Gosh, they held hands so many times and only now JK found it uncomfortable. It was all because of this stupid confession he had to make. It made him dizzy and stressed more than ever. He felt as if his whole life depended on that one conversation. And how should he even begin? How to talk if no words escape his mouth? If the touch of the boy’s hand was too much for him, then how was he supposed to kiss him?

What is happening to me? Jungkook tried to find an answer. It feels like kindergarten all over again.

Lost in his own thoughts, Jungkook didn't even notice that they were already in the living room. Taehyung led him to the couch, and when JK still seemed absent-minded, the boy only gave him a gentle push on the shoulder. It was enough for Jungkook to lose his balance and fall onto the couch with a loud thud.

That was what finally brought Jungkook back to life. Taehyung sighed heavily, placed his hands on his hips and gently bit down his lip while watching him carefully. If it weren't for a rather uncertain and concerned expression on his face, JK would have thought that it was an introduction to something completely different.

JK quickly shook his head to get rid of that freaky thought. Focus, Jungkook.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I'm just… tired. That's all.”

He had to find some excuse for his chaotic and inconsistent behavior. JK decided to blame it all on basketball which wouldn’t be a complete lie. He was tired. They had a match on Sunday so the training was slightly more intense. However, JK didn’t see himself playing any better with his head still crazy over that weird situation with Taehyung.

“Ah, right. Sorry, I haven’t thought about it,” Taehyung admitted shyly. “We don’t have to do it if you’re—”  

“No, no. It's fine,” JK quickly cut in. “You need a rehearsal and I really want to hear it as well.”

Jungkook smiled widely to encourage the boy, hoping he wouldn't notice how forced this smile was. Taehyung stared at him for a while, as if he was trying to see through Jungkook’s lies, but finally he just slowly nodded and went on with connecting the laptop to the TV.

No matter what had been happening with Jungkook lately, he couldn’t say no to Taehyung; not when he promised a long time ago to hear his speech. He saw the boy preparing it for the past month so he was curious about the final outcome.

The third and last part of the exam was a presentation on a randomly selected topic provided by the committee. Jungkook liked that format because for once it wasn’t about knowledge and being lucky with questions (like in written and oral parts) but about how well a person could convey information and sell what they had already learned. What mattered the most were the presentation skills and coping with stress while talking in front of so many people.

Jungkook was glad they added such an interesting part to the exam. Maybe because with such looks and inner charm, Taehyung was guaranteed to gain maximum points in this part.

JK had no clue what he was about to see. Well, Taehyung showed him his topic once but since Jungkook didn’t understand a word of it, he decided that there was no point in asking once again. That’s why Taehyung prepared his presentation while consulting one of the teachers and promised to make the final rehearsal in front of Jungkook when everything would be mustered to perfection.

In a way, Jungkook was his final test. If Taehyung managed to interest him—a person who had no clue about either history, art, or history of art—then he would most likely succeed during the real exam.

Taehyung started his presentation and just from the very first words, Jungkook knew he would have problems with concentration for the rest of his speech. The way he spoke, the way he charmed and seduced with his low voice made it impossible to focus on anything else but Taehyung. He had no idea what the boy was talking about but his charisma made JK interested in that topic immediately. Damn, Taehyung could have been explaining how the shoelaces were built and Jungkook would still listen to him with full attention.

And although JK knew that some of this enthusiasm was just his sublime acting, there was still a certain twinkle in his eye and excitement in his voice that couldn't be faked. And it was this passion that made Taehyung a hundred times more attractive.

Jungkook could only sit on the couch, completely devoured by this performance, and kept staring at the person he cared about so much. If only Taehyung could sit in his place and see for himself how confident and strong he already was. Maybe then he would finally be so passionate about himself as well.

That’s when he realized that maybe Jimin was right. Maybe the boy needed someone to tell him, to show him all the things he couldn’t see in himself just yet. That it was possible to like him, to love him. And the only person who was able to do it, the only person that Taehyung would actually listen to, was him—Jungkook. Just the thought of it made his cheeks turn a little redder.

He didn't want the boy to notice it, especially not now. So for the rest of the presentation, he tried to calm down and not to lose his mind, but it seemed almost impossible. He could only mindlessly stare at Taehyung with his large, child-like eyes, and from time to time remind himself not to open his mouth in awe.

“Jungkook.” He suddenly heard his name and immediately snapped back out of all his racing thoughts. “I didn't know you were so invested in pointillism as a technique in neo-impressionistic paintings.”

Taehyung's remark was rather sarcastic which didn't help at all. Jungkook didn't know when exactly he drifted off because Taehyung clearly finished the presentation and folded his arms across his chest while waiting for the feedback. JK quickly shook his head to regain consciousness. He felt bad that the boy caught him daydreaming. Gosh, it was so embarrassing.

“Because I'm not interested at all,” he added quickly, trying to cover his awkward behavior. “Or at least I wasn't until now. The way you spoke made me want to check out one of these enormous textbooks of yours.”

He knew it was quite an exaggeration and nothing in the world would make him read so much information, especially not on this topic. However, he had to somehow comment on Taehyung's presentation. He couldn’t just say that he didn’t pay enough attention to the main topic because he was so obsessed with the boy himself. He probably could name more colors reflected in Taehyung’s golden necklace than the actual paintings he mentioned in his presentation.

“I have a hard time believing it,” Taehyung sent him an unamused look. 

“Okay, maybe the textbook one was a blunt lie, but I truly meant the other thing. Your presenting skills are no joke. People like listening to you, you must know that.”

Taehyung looked down shyly as if he couldn’t take the compliment. The way he did it was so adorable, so different from the person he saw just a second ago, presenting with so much confidence. It felt as if Jungkook’s words made him drop his perfect student persona and it was the true Taehyung who got flustered with an honest compliment. It only made Jungkook smile a little, opposite to Taehyung who quickly turned around and focused on his laptop; or more on how to disconnect it.

It was an interesting reaction since Jungkook was more than sure that Taehyung was aware of his charm. Someone who mustered the image of a walking perfection with only one completely meaningless flaw must have been aware of how people perceived him. That’s why it gave Jungkook another thought.

“Do you know how many people will be on the jury of this part?” he asked.

Taehyung stopped wrestling with the cable for a moment and looked at Jungkook over his shoulder. He tried to remember whether it was mentioned in the regulations but above all he was curious why Jungkook needed this information.

"Five? Yeah, I think five."

“And do you know the gender distribution among the jury?”

“Gender distrib—What? Why is it important?”

Taehyung frowned, which only caused a small but long wrinkle to appear on his forehead. It looked rather absurd, to say the least, and Jungkook had an urge to just walk to the boy, put his hands on his forehead, and straighten the wrinkle with his fingers. It didn't suit his beautiful face at all.

“It is important because if there will be more women, these buttons stay off.” Jungkook pointed his finger at his throat, referring to the two highest buttons on the boy's shirt. The same ones that he always had unbuttoned when he wore any of his fancy shirts anyway. “But if there will be more men, you have to wear a tie. Out of the question.”

Jungkook crossed his legs and made himself more comfortable on the couch, watching Taehyung's reaction from a distance. The boy seemed confused and that was exactly what he expected from him. JK knew he would ask about the validity of this statement, so he wasn't surprised when a moment later Taehyung straightened up, holding the laptop under his arm.

"Why would it matter?"

Theoretically, it wouldn’t matter—the boy was incredibly handsome, no matter what he was wearing. Jungkook could bet he would look spectacular in any clothes or even without them, however, it wasn’t the time for similar fantasies. This time it was all about principles.

“Well, everyone will be dressed for the occasion, extremely formal and professional. Shirts, suits, ties, all that shit you have to pull in front of the officials,” Jungkook began to explain his theory. “And even though women love men in suits, they also like to be wowed. Removing the tie will make you stand out, and look more laid back, more intriguing, and even more charming. You're already extremely handsome but you don't even know what an open collar can do to women.”

You had no clue what that open collar is doing to me right now, Jungkook thought but had no courage to say it out loud. That golden necklace and visible collarbones were killing him every fucking time he looked at Taehyung.

“Ah, but men… Men are different,” he continued before he could get too distracted. “They like to sort their businesses professionally. Not wearing a tie could be a great insult to them. If everything else in your presentation is perfect and… it is perfect, trust me, then they'll start looking for some excuses, some little details to put you down. And at that point, even the lack of a tie could be their pick. They'll favor someone else just because they looked a little bit more professional.”

They say that women always pay attention to appearance, but men are far worse when it comes to similar topics. For them life is a never-ending dick-measuring contest—men just never grow up. Jungkook knew something about it.

“Let me get this clear,” Taehyung stroked his chin. “You are lecturing me on fashion?”

He chuckled a little but Jungkook knew he wasn’t actually offended by that lecture. Taehyung was rather curious about where this whole knowledge came from. To be honest, even Jungkook found it hard to explain.

“Well, I’m just…”

“How do you know that? You've probably never worn a formal shirt in your life.”

The remark was so personal and sarcastic that Jungkook had to smile.

“I wore it once. For my graduation,” he clarified. “And probably the next time I wear one will be my funeral. However, I know something about people and how they react to certain things. You have to trust me on it.”

Jungkook hoped the boy would believe him without any further explanations. It would be quite awkward trying to explain to him how basically the whole school reacted to his persona and his immense beauty. Girls on the patio, all the jealous guys by the lockers, gossip girls like Jimin or Hoseok, and well… Jungkook. He didn’t have to look for any more examples. He knew perfectly well how his body had been reacting to the boy lately.

Gosh, how a person could be so handsome? JK couldn’t believe it. If Jungkook looked half as good as Taehyung, he would never shut up about it.

“Forget it,” Jungkook waved his hand. “You’ll kill it anyway.”

JK wanted to finish this topic before it could get any more awkward. Stressing the boy even further didn’t make any sense—regardless of what he wore, he would be the most handsome person out there.

That’s why Jungkook smiled at him to make sure this conversation was still just a friendly banter. Taehyung didn’t have to follow his advice although it would be nice to have some share in his potential success. He thought it would be enough to convince Taehyung but the boy’s attitude vastly changed. He was no longer confident; he seemed to be a little confused, shy even.

For a second it looked as if he was having an internal battle if he should speak up or not. In the end, he only bit his lip hard and slowly walked toward the couch. He left his laptop on the table and plopped down on one of the pillows next to Jungkook. Then he merely leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees, and squeezed his hands tightly. His gaze seemed to be locked on the floor and Jungkook didn’t like that image at all.

The way Taehyung suddenly got serious was rather concerning. Jungkook followed his movement trying to understand what could have caused such a change in his attitude. He hoped it wasn’t because of his words. He didn’t say anything overly wrong but with Taehyung everything was possible. That’s why he had to solve this case as quickly as possible.

Jungkook scooped a little closer to have a better look at Taehyung. Just as he did it the boy squeezed his hands even tighter, making his knuckles go white. JK couldn’t miss his clenched jaw or slightly pale face. Oh, that meant it was something serious.  

“Taehyung? What's happening?" he asked softly.

Taehyung didn't seem to hear his question, but JK knew he heard it perfectly. It had always been like that; the boy just needed a few more seconds to think it through before answering. That’s why Jungkook waited patiently. And in the end, Taehyung lowered his head and swallowed slowly before speaking quietly.

"I…I’m afraid."

For a moment, Jungkook thought he had misheard it, but he couldn't be wrong. Taehyung was afraid? Of what? Of the finals? There was no way he would fail there. He was so well prepared. If anyone deserved to win those finals, it was surely Taehyung. Ah, so it must have been stress—it could get to the best ones as well.

"Afraid?" JK asked in disbelief. “You're prepared better than anyone else. I’m sure you're going to kill these—”

“Not like that,” Taehyung cut him short immediately. His voice was firm and only after a while he took a deeper breath to calm down. He closed his eyes for a while as if he was trying to find better words to describe how he really felt.

“It's just…” he tried once more. “I-I'm afraid to go there alone.”

And then Jungkook finally understood what Taehyung meant. It wasn’t about the finals at all. It was about something bigger; something far more dangerous than a lost competition. 

“What… what if something happens when I'm away from home? When I'm away from Mrs. Walter? When I'm away from… you."

It wasn't until the last word that Taehyung finally looked up and stared straight at Jungkook. He immediately noticed how scared the boy truly was; with his worried gaze and absent eyes. JK couldn’t remember when was the last time he saw Taehyung so afraid and it wasn’t a look Jungkook was overly fond of. However, this time this fear was kind of justified. He was afraid to leave his comfort zone; to leave behind people he felt safe with.

That’s why he also mentioned his therapist. They had an amazing bond and Jungkook was glad that they decided to visit her instead of that first wicked woman. Sometimes JK felt as if Mrs Walter was a magician. She managed to talk some things into the boy—things that Jungkook thought were impossible for him to understand. And yet, Taehyung trusted her enough to change quite a lot in his life according to her advice. Besides, they just liked each other and that also was a huge success.

But Jungkook also knew how much influence he had on the boy, so he wasn't overly surprised when Taehyung mentioned him as well. In fact, this week-long trip was their longest separation but JK didn’t see it as a big problem. The boy's condition was stable—it had been for quite a long time. Taehyung stopped crying; at least in front of him. Although Jungkook doubted he cried alone in his bedroom, he also knew it probably happened from time to time.

Still, most of the time, whenever Taehyung felt bad, he came to his apartment—just as they promised to themselves. And with each visit, Taehyung seemed even stronger than before. So what was he afraid of?

“What can possibly happen?”

“I… I don't know. What if it starts to rain?”

All his fears came down to what was still somewhere in the back of his mind. And although he regularly went to therapy and tried to fight his demons, he still carried them somewhere deep within him. Jungkook knew that it would take a long time to get rid of them for good and he didn't blame the boy for such doubts, because they were very natural.

However, he believed that Taehyung was on the right track to a happy future. Maybe he just needed such a trip to be alone for a while, to see how many things he could do on his own. How much he learned about himself.

Or maybe his fears were justified and it was still too early to let him out like that? Maybe he was rightly afraid of being alone? Maybe he still had some weird thoughts on his mind—those he shared with no one, not even Jungkook? Maybe he had some new fears?

It was difficult to tell since only Taehyung truly knew what was hidden inside his head. Whatever it was, one thing was certain and Jungkook needed to voice it out for the boy to finally understand it.

“Listen, Taehyung. You're strong. Stronger than you think. You've worked hard this past month to stand against your weaknesses. You're changing, adapting, fighting to get better. I can see how much effort you'd put into doing so.”

“I know but still—”

“If you have trouble trusting yourself, then trust me on that. I can see that you’re changing. That you had already changed a little.”

Jungkook knew it was a risky move but with the boy, there was no easy way out. Now more than ever, JK wanted to switch places with Taehyung so he could see for himself how strong he already was. But since it wasn’t possible, there was one more solution to Taehyung’s problem.

“Besides, remember you're going there with Seokjin. With someone qualified to help you anytime you need it. Actually, double-qualified; both as a therapist and as your brother. You don't have to tell him everything. Sometimes even the simplest conversation can be enough.”

Because even though Taehyung mentioned everything he was leaving behind in Austin, Jungkook couldn't let him forget that he was going to New York with his brother. Maybe they weren’t close and Taehyung hated his self-love philosophy, but in a really hopeless moment, Seokjin could truly help him.

However, he also knew Taehyung wouldn’t like that idea, so he wasn’t surprised when a second later he tried to protest once more.  

“Yeah, but w-what if—"

“If something happens, then you can call me any time of day and night and I promise to pick up before the third beep, okay?”

Jungkook said it confidently, although he was more than sure he didn’t have to explain it to the boy. It was more than obvious to him, that Taehyung could call him whenever he needed it and JK would try to help him the best way he could. However, Jungkook hoped the boy would use his phone only to send him beautiful pictures of sunsets over New York or to share how the exam went. He didn’t want to hear Taehyung’s tearful voice on the phone because he wouldn’t know what to say to calm him down. He didn’t know if he was even able to do it without a simple touch—they both knew it worked the best.

Maybe that’s why Jungkook didn’t find it surprising when he noticed his hand lying casually on Taehyung’s squeezed hands. He had no clue when and why it got there but apparently, it must have been so natural to JK that he subconsciously reached for Taehyung’s hands to calm him down. He panicked a little but it was too late to back down right now.

Taehyung seemed to notice it as well, and a moment later he untangled his hands just to let Jungkook’s one inside. Their fingers intertwined once again and Jungkook felt how cold his hands were. He couldn’t help but slowly stroke his skin with his thumb as if it could make it a little bit warmer.

”Calling is much different than having you by my side,” Taehyung muttered and locked his gaze on their tangled hands.

They both stared at the same place for a moment, letting the boy's words sink in. Jungkook knew how much his presence meant to the boy; how attached and dependent he really was. No wonder he was afraid to leave the comfort zone that Jungkook had provided him with a long time ago. But no matter how much Jungkook wanted to be by his side all the time, he knew he couldn’t just go with him to New York.

Instead, he had to find some replacement. Something that would make Taehyung believe he was just beside him, even though they were a thousand miles apart.

He thought for a long time, looking for an item that would have the right value for both of them but he couldn’t think of anything special enough. Until it finally hit him. He slowly got up from the couch and gently removed his hand from the boy's warm embrace. Somehow it was one of the hardest things to do—he had already missed his soft touch.

That's why Jungkook made a quick trip to the bedroom and a moment later he was back in the living room. He sat on the other side of the boy while Taehyung watched him carefully, unsure of his next moves. So JK quickly showed him an object he held in his hands.

“This is the lucky bracelet Hoseok gave me before my first match. We won that match, you remember that, right?”

Taehyung nodded slowly but his expression was rather confused, maybe unamused even. He grimaced looking at the colorful, slightly childish bracelet. “I don't believe in lucky charms. Or in luck overall.”

“That's not the point,” Jungkook said quickly, though he was quite surprised by the boy's comment. He was ready to argue that the destiny Taehyung so strongly believed in was also partially luck but it wasn't a time for it, so he continued, “The point is, it's violet.”

“Looks more like purple to me.”

“Whatever.”

Again, Taehyung wanted to disregard all his efforts and Jungkook couldn't let it happen. Even if in terms of naming the colors the boy was way more experienced than him. Whatever the color really was, JK had to finish his thought and he hoped this time Taehyung would not stop him.

“Fine. It can be purple,” Jungkook sighted. “What matters is that purple is also… the last color of the rainbow. There is nothing more, nothing beyond it, it's almost eternal. And you just know it will be there, at the end of every rainbow. Always. No matter where you are, how you feel, what you do. You can trust it will be there forever. The same way… I will. Every time you look at this bracelet, I’ll be there with you.”

Jungkook didn’t know where it all came from. He just let the words flow and somehow he ended up with such a purple theory. It was completely made up but somehow it felt right. JK believed in every word he just had said and he hoped Taehyung would believe in it too. Jungkook wanted to show him that even if they were in two different places, he would still be there for him. A bit like that purple line on every rainbow.  

Taehyung looked at him carefully for a long time, as if he was trying to understand what it was all about. Well, Jungkook himself wanted to know where the inspiration came from. However, he believed that out of all the people in the world, Taehyung would understand him and even like such sentimental reasoning. And JK wasn’t wrong.

The boy reached out and softly grabbed the bracelet. He turned it over in his hand for a moment, studying it carefully. He checked out each of the beds separately, feeling their texture and watching the light reflect inside them from every angle, revealing many shades of lovely purple.

Finally, he smiled to himself rather shyly but that was one of those smiles Jungkook loved the most. It was real and even without words, JK could tell that the boy was deeply moved by this gesture. He didn’t know what to say for a while–as if there were no words in which he could show Jungkook some gratitude. In the end, he tried to voice out his thoughts.

“I like the sound of it,” Taehyung admitted quietly. “Thank you.”

While thanking him, he moved closer to Jungkook and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Jungkook did the same which only turned into a really pleasurable hug. Taehyung rested his chin on Jungkook's shoulder and JK did the same. It was a nice thing to do—so calming, so soothing. JK could easily fly away to another dimension if they just stayed like that for a moment longer. He had completely forgotten about the awkwardness that had surrounded their relationship since last week. It felt so natural.

“I'll miss that,” Taehyung whispered, which made Jungkook's heart flutter a little. “It's not like I can do it with Jin all the time.”

Taehyung added playfully and smiled while also distancing himself from Jungkook. He was in a much better mood than just a moment ago and that was enough for JK to smile as well.

The boy put the bracelet on his left wrist and started to tie it proudly. Taehyung was so focused as if he was a world-class surgeon performing the most important operation in the history of humankind. Jungkook could only watch as the boy's long fingers delicately tied the purple string around his wrist. He didn't need help, though for a moment Jungkook hoped he would ask for it. He wanted to have his share in that ritual.

But maybe it was better that he hadn’t been asked to help. Watching the boy so focused only made Jungkook daydream once again. Oh, how badly he loved to just stare at the Taehyung for a little bit longer. 

So much so that he almost missed the moment when Taehyung finished tying the bracelet and looked up to meet his gaze; just as if he sensed that Jungkook had been staring at him. But he didn’t comment on it in any way. He just smiled at him with that adorable bread-cheek smile of his. With the smile of true Kim Taehyung.  

And that made Jungkook realize there would be no better time to confess all that had been going on in his head and heart since the last Saturday. Now that Taehyung sat so close, smiling at him so brightly, JK no longer felt awkward with his feelings. That irrational fear suddenly disappeared, maybe because of that purple confession he made a second ago. In a way, it was exactly what he wanted to tell Taehyung from the beginning, but in a slightly different form.

The fear of being close to the boy, a fear of being touched by the boy or to touch him, also disappeared. In fact, it was quite the opposite now. Jungkook subconsciously looked at Taehyung's lips, which were so close to him. Now they were even more tempting than before. Maybe because of that adorable smile? Ah, Jungkook wanted to make them smile even more, preferably just in between small and sweet kisses.

He was ready to risk it all and just kiss the boy right in front of him. He had to know what was this strange feeling troubling his heart and he was tired of pretending it wasn’t there. Jungkook didn't want to admit it but… he already knew the answer—he could name it, it was so vivid, so real. All he had to do was to confirm it with a kiss. A kiss that most definitely would feel right. There could be no mistake this time.  

Jungkook had great self-control but this time it felt like he didn't know how to stop himself. He moved a little but at the same time, he heard a familiar sound coming from the kitchen.

It made him stop immediately and look up to meet Taehyung’s gaze. The boy stared at him intensely, firstly to understand what he was trying to do a second before and secondly to determine what they should do just now. It looked as if the boy waited for something; as if he also got caught up in the moment. But just a second later, he quickly shook his head and stood up only to rush toward the kitchen.

“Speaking of Jin,” Taehyung muttered rather irritated but in the end he picked up the phone.

Jungkook could only sit in the same place on the couch and listen to their rather meaningless conversation. At the same time, he couldn’t believe it had to happen at that exact moment. Just now, when he was finally ready to do something he had no courage to do before, fate decided otherwise. It made him so frustrated because he knew that Seokjin’s call only killed the mood. If Jungkook waited for the opportune moment to finally find the answer to his questions, it was already gone.

And that made him finally come down to Earth. He realized what he was about to do and somehow he began to panic again. This time Taehyung surely noticed his intentions and it only made everything even more awkward. Now when the atmosphere was gone he couldn’t just kiss him without any explanation and, for the love of God, he had no clue how to explain it.

Jungkook quickly took a deep breath, brushed his hair with a slightly shaky hand, and got up from the couch. He couldn’t just sit in the same place for any second longer. He had to walk it out.

He cautiously looked toward the kitchen, where Taehyung was still talking on the phone. He tried to figure out what was so important that made his brother call exactly now—in the worst moment possible. But before he could figure it out, the boy finished the call but didn't put away his phone. He seemed to be thinking hard about something, but a moment later he looked at Jungkook with a rather sad expression.

“I'm sorry. I have to go. There are still a lot of things to pack and Jin's one of these people who have to be at the airport six hours before the flight. I don't want to stress him even more, so… I better be going.”

Jungkook understood it, but selfishly he didn't want to part with Taehyung just yet. There were still so many things he wanted to tell him, so much he had to explain, so many feelings to discover. He wanted to make that damn confession already, to hug the boy once more, maybe even to finally kiss him. Jungkook just didn’t want to let him go.  

He knew that all he had to do was ask for a few minutes and Taehyung certainly wouldn't refuse. JK might not have been able to explain everything at that time, but he could try—he wanted to try. And although his brain and heart told him to do just that, to ask and to not let the boy leave the apartment just yet, his traitorous body did exactly the opposite.

“Then you shouldn’t keep him waiting,” he said with a fake smile, moving away slightly, just to make it easier for Taehyung to reach the living room.

The boy nodded and resolutely began to gather all his things spread across the apartment. He started with the laptop, still lying on the table in the living room, then he quickly added the rest of the books from the kitchen and closed his brown bag. Jungkook didn't even notice when the boy was already wearing shoes and managed to throw his bag over his shoulder.

Taehyung was ready to leave at any moment, but Jungkook clearly wasn't ready to say goodbye to him. However, he couldn't protest either. It was as if he suddenly didn't know how to do it, how to speak.

"Thank you for everything." Taehyung's words sounded sincere but his expression looked rather shy, judging by the way he adjusted the grip on his bag. He was clutching it so tightly as if he was afraid someone would steal it even here, in the closed apartment

“I promise to bring it back, so you can have your forever with you,” he added more cheerfully and raised his hand to expose the purple bracelet Jungkook gave him.

“Oh, no. You can keep it,” Jungkook protested immediately.

“But… You got it from Hobi.”

“Yeah, and now I’m giving it to you.”

It’s not that Jungkook didn’t like the gift and wanted to get rid of it as fast as possible. He simply didn’t need it as much as Taehyung. If it was a reminder of their bond then the only way JK would like it back was in a packet with Taehyung. 

The boy finally nodded in understanding and smiled shyly. Apparently, he liked the gift and the story behind it. Enough to be able to go to New York alone. And with that new confidence, he made one last final look at Jungkook. His gaze lingered a little as if he was waiting for something to happen but when JK didn’t move an inch, he finally opened the door and disappeared behind them a second later.

And when Jungkook was left alone in his apartment, he realized that he didn’t even say a damn goodbye.

Chapter Text

Jungkook stared at the door, at the exact place where Taehyung stood just a second ago, and he couldn't believe it would be the last time he saw the boy for the next few days. It was only a few seconds that JK had been left alone and he already missed the boy so much. He missed his smile, his adorable bread cheeks, and that lovely aura around him. He somehow also missed those rosy lips that he was too afraid to kiss. Now he wanted to know how they tasted even more than ever. And he already knew they would hunt him for the next week; not only in his sleep but wherever he would go.

Maybe he failed to kiss Taehyung but not even saying a mere goodbye was extremely pathetic. It felt as if something abruptly interrupted their conversation; as if the boy suddenly disappeared; as if they were talking on the phone and the connection suddenly went missing. It all happened too fast and Jungkook got confused more than ever.

It was such a mess but one thing was clear: Jungkook couldn’t leave it like this.

Before he could think about it, he grabbed the handle and quickly opened the door. He ran outside and as he saw Taehyung's head disappearing somewhere on the stairs, he acted quite spontaneously and shouted, “Taehyung, wait!”

His words echoed on the staircase and reached the boy who stopped within a second. He turned around and climbed up two steps to see Jungkook, who came closer to the railing. Taehyung looked up to meet his gaze and his eyes seemed to be asking, what had happened for the boy to chase him down to the hall. But since their eyes met, JK once again got lost and had no clue what he wanted to say; why he got the idea to follow the boy and what would it change.

Jungkook didn't want to let him go but he didn't seem to be prepared enough to keep him by his side either.

“Yes?” Taehyung asked and raised his brow when Jungkook was still staring at him without any words of explanation.

JK knew it was weird, to say the least, but his tongue got caught in his throat and seemed to be trapped there forever. There were so many things Jungkook wanted to tell him with that most important one as well but… somehow he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Wasn't it weird to do it right here? The staircase wasn't the best place for such conversation and confessions. What if someone would hear them? What if one of the neighbors interrupts them? That would be quite embarrassing.

It would be way easier if they came back to the apartment but he couldn’t suggest it for the second time. He already blew that opportunity. Besides, Jungkook had to finally overcome his fears, both irrational and rational ones, and act. Especially now, when Taehyung was right in front of him, waiting and anticipating Jungkook to finally explain why he stopped him just now.

Jungkook swallowed hard and found some courage to speak up, “I just wanted to tell you…”

He started but the moment their eyes met once again, JK somehow forgot to finish that one sentence. All because of those dark eyes that looked at him with so much affection. There was something hypnotizing inside them, so much so that JK got lost in his thoughts. Only today he saw so many emotions inside those beautiful eyes: fear, gratitude, maybe even a glimpse of happiness. And as long as Jungkook kept staring at those eyes, all of the universe could disappear.

Jungkook just knew the boy had to be the one.

JK could confirm it with one touch of their lips; one small kiss to seal it all. He could just run down the stairs to get to Taehyung in no time, cup his cheeks, and kiss him the way he wanted to do it so badly. When Taehyung’s body would be slightly pressed to the wall but close enough to not scare him off. When his hands would wander across his smooth cheek which would turn slightly red. When Jungkook would make sure Taehyung felt comfortable with that sweet touch which would surely feel right for both of them. He could see himself doing it all just now.

But he could also see Taehyung completely freaking out after that one kiss; not rejecting him but acting confused and shy enough to run away immediately. Before JK could explain everything, before he could tell him how much he cared for him, before he could confirm that the kiss truly felt right.

And no matter how badly he wanted to listen to all his body and heart's desires, Jungkook couldn't risk sacrificing Taehyung’s well-being. JK was afraid that if he fucked it up, the boy would close on him and their bond was something they couldn't afford to lose. Not when the boy was about to spend the whole week alone. The last thing he wanted was for their relationship to turn awkward enough for Taehyung not to call him when he needed it the most.

That's why Jungkook just sighed with resignation and continued calmly, “Ah… I just wanted to tell you… Good luck.”

“Good luck?” Taehyung seemed surprised to hear that. Just as it was he was expecting Jungkook to say something else.

“Y-yeah, good… good luck. I forgot to wish you that before you go.”

That was pathetic. JK wanted to slap himself so badly but he decided to wait a little. He would surely do it once he came back to his apartment. He deserved it so badly.

Surprisingly, Taehyung smiled a little—just like a parent who gets endeared by their child's silly behavior.

“I told you, I don't believe in luck.”

“I know but I believe in you so…”

Their eyes met once again but this time it was Jungkook who first averted his gaze. He didn't know why he had said it but it seemed natural. Still, he felt kind of embarrassed that he could say something like that so casually but he couldn't bring himself to make a much more important confession.

So they stood like this for a little while, none of them ready to go but none of them eager to speak either. The silence lasted a few more seconds until it was Taehyung who cleared his throat and spoke up.

“So… can I go?” he asked and pointed toward the stairs.

“Huh?”

"Can I go or do you have something else to say?”

Taehyung asked and only then did Jungkook realize what had been going on for the past few moments. JK got so caught up in his thoughts and by doing nothing he was holding Taehyung back for no good reason. The boy seemed a little bit restless, as if he wanted to go already and at the same time he was still waiting for something to happen. He looked at Jungkook expectantly and when he was still quiet or maybe a little shocked, he repeated the question.

“Is there something more you’d like to tell me?”

The way he asked that was so confident that for a second Jungkook thought Taehyung was aware of his wavering feelings. As if the boy could read through him so easily and tell that there was something more bothering him; something more he wanted to add but in the end didn't. All that he compromised just to wish him good luck. His piercing yet sympathetic gaze seemed to be saying the same thing but it couldn't be it. Taehyung couldn't have known. That would be a disaster.

That's why JK quickly took one step back from the railing, trying to act normal or maybe even more cheerfully than usual. He waved his hand dismissively and sent Taehyung another fake smile.

“Ah, no, no. You can go. I’m sorry for stopping you for so long.”

JK hoped it sounded sincere and apparently, it worked. Taehyung only nodded, although he didn't smile back immediately. For a split second Jungkook could see some kind of disappointment in his eyes before he closed them, just to look at him with that adorable gratitude a second later.

Jungkook could not stand it any longer so when Taehyung moved a little, he quickly turned around and went straight back to his apartment. He felt as if those few steps back were equal to the most embarrassing walk of shame. He had never felt that bad about letting someone go. All because of his stupidity.

He closed the door behind him and slammed his hand against it. He was so frustrated, so angry at himself for being such a coward and at the universe for taking away the great opportunity to talk to the boy today. Technically he should be angry at Seokjin for calling his brother the moment Jungkook wanted to kiss him but… the truth was JK was the only one who should be blamed for that hopeless situation.

If only he listened to Taehyung’s request the very first time he asked him for a kiss, Jungkook wouldn’t have to see him go just now with an incredibly heavy heart.

That inner battle that had been going on inside his heart, mind, and body was killing him. He had never been conflicted so much over such a simple thing. Because the kiss itself seemed to be the easiest thing to do. It was all that was connected to that one kiss that confused and scared the hell out of him. He not only wanted this kiss to feel right but everything around it as well. And that was quite a hard thing to do.

“Fuck,” JK cursed under his breath and rested his forehead against the door. What am I supposed to do now?

Jungkook got scared when he suddenly heard a knock on the door. For a second he thought it was just his head which banged on the door but when the sound repeated, there could be no mistake. He immediately came to his senses and straightened up, trying to calm down from this panic state he got himself into. He took a few quick breaths before he put his hand on the handle—it could be only one person visiting him right now. And knowing how conflicted Jungkook was, it couldn’t be anything good.

So as he opened the door, he once again saw Taehyung standing in the doorway. The boy didn't wait for the invitation and pushed past Jungkook into the apartment. JK was a little surprised by his behavior, but he quickly moved back against the wall to give him more space and closed the door.

"Gosh, I almost forgot,” Taehyung sighed quite irritated. 

And before Jungkook could ask which of the valuable things he had forgotten to take from the apartment, the boy put the bag on the ground and took a step toward him.

“I can't believe I'm the one doing this,” he muttered quietly, more to himself.

JK had no time to analyze his words because, just in the blink of an eye, Taehyung completely closed the distance between them. By the time JK realized what he was about to do, it was already too late. He could only lean against the wall when he felt the boy's lips gently touch his.

It was just a few seconds, a few blissful seconds when Jungkook could feel Taehyung’s soft lips brushing slowly against his before the boy took a step back. Yet JK was completely mesmerized by that touch. So much so that he almost missed the most important thing about this gesture.

And then it finally dawned on him: Taehyung kissed him.

Jungkook had absolutely no idea what to do with himself; what to think, how to react. He was stunned. It was as if that kiss had turned him into a stone figure. And although his body seemed to be frozen forever, his heart clearly wasn’t. He could feel something strange happening inside it.

Suddenly it was full of a warm feeling he had never experienced before. Yet somehow his heart recognized it instantly as something vital to live on, despite his still numb body. Just as if that one feeling was enough to keep him alive, to make him want to live as long as possible. Jungkook got addicted to that feeling and he couldn’t see himself living without it.

And all those discoveries led him to only one conclusion: it was that right feeling he had been looking for so long.

Jungkook was a little surprised that this kiss felt so right when it wasn’t even a proper kiss—their lips barely touched. They were like shy kids kissing for the first time somewhere behind the lockers, trying to find out what it actually meant to kiss somebody. When the only worry was not to miss the lips and make it as less awkward as possible. Nothing overly romantic or passionate. Just an innocent discovery. It wasn’t the way Jungkook usually kissed but there was something magical about that way as well.

Still, Jungkook knew that at this very moment, he should bring the boy closer and kiss him once again in the way kissing should be done. Kiss him back in the way he always wanted to kiss him. His heart almost shouted at him, that it was the right thing to do, but his traitorous body stood still and JK couldn’t explain why. His natural response to a kiss was always to kiss someone back. In fact, he did it rather automatically. So what was different this time?

He could only stare at Taehyung who stared back at him. His gaze was rather unsure and skeptical as if he didn’t know what he should think about it. The boy clearly wasn’t as shocked as Jungkook, who had been holding his breath since the moment their lips touched. Taehyung simply put his hands on his hips and softly bit his cheek from the inside, creating a soft pout—JK found it extremely adorable.   

“Huh? Weird,” Taehyung sighed, his voice mostly surprised, maybe slightly confused as well. “This is not how I imagined my first kiss would be like.”

Taehyung put his hand over his lips and gently ran his finger over them to make sure they were really there and that they had touched JK's a second before. As if he was looking for some trace of Jungkook on them, but the thing was he hadn't left anything there as of yet.

No wonder Taehyung imagined it differently if their kiss lacked everything that made it… well… a kiss. It was neither passionate, nor sweet, nor meaningful, it just… was. It was too short for them to be out of breath or to enjoy each other's taste. Damn, there were so many things missing from that kiss. Things that Jungkook had previously considered necessary to even call such a kiss enjoyable.  

And yet, such a brief contact of their lips was enough for him to feel something he had never felt before in his life.

Taehyung rubbed his lips with his index finger while staring indifferently at the wall next to Jungkook. His thoughts were wandering somewhere distant, probably in search of some sort of an answer. JK waited patiently but surprisingly it didn’t last long until the boy lowered his hand, twisted his lips into a grimace, and simply shrugged.

"Anyway, I better be going."

He seemed completely unfazed by the whole incident. Didn't he feel how important this kiss was? It surely wasn’t just a casual kiss or another point on the to-do list. Because while for Taehyung it was his first experience with kissing, for Jungkook it was his first experience with feelings.

The boy bent down to pick up his bag, which he had thrown on the floor a moment ago, and once again he hung it confidently on his shoulder. Then he turned toward the door without sparing Jungkook a single look. It was obvious he wanted to go but this time JK couldn’t let him do that. He immediately woke up from the strange state he was in and quickly grabbed the boy's wrist.

"Wait," he asked, his voice hoarse as if he forgot how to speak.

Taehyung slowly turned to his side and although his expression was again rather emotionless, his gaze was curious, maybe expectant even. It gave Jungkook a certain assurance that the boy would not go anywhere until he heard what JK was about to tell him. That’s why he slightly loosened the grip on his wrist, just so the boy would not feel uncomfortable.  

“Then tell me,” he asked calmly, getting more confident with each word. “How did you imagine it would feel like? Your first kiss?”

He just had to know what Taehyung had in mind when he decided to kiss him. How did he imagine it would go? What did he expect to experience or feel? Since Jungkook told him that kissing could be anything he wanted it to be, Taehyung must have had some vision as well. Even if he never thought he would ever kiss someone in his life.

Taehyung tilted his head, hesitantly bit his lip, and said rather shyly, “Better than cuddling?”

Jungkook couldn't help but smile. He didn't expect to hear this answer but maybe he should have had. Taehyung loved cuddling and all that had been going on between them whenever they lay down together in his bed. Taehyung already told him that he found it more intimate and pleasurable than kissing. No wonder he expected the kiss to exceed the feeling if Jungkook was so sure it was a thousand times better.

However, whatever they did just now was neither spectacular nor enjoyable. If it weren't for the fact that Jungkook felt his insides turn with an unexpectedly warm and right feeling, he probably would have chosen cuddling over kissing himself.

But it didn’t have to be like that—Jungkook just had to prove it to him. Since a kiss could be whatever he wanted it to be, he was going to make Taehyung’s vision finally come true.