Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Wanting was enough

For me, it was enough

To live for the hope of it all

“Stop looking at him!” someone told Mike. Mike turned his head from where Will sat, the jock, to Max, the mad woman. “What’s your business, anyway?” grumbled Mike.

It was not a surprise anymore to his (two) friends that he had a big, fat crush on the brunette jock, Will Byers. Mike had laid his eyes on Will since the first time the Byers walked into the class.

Will has been one of the most popular kids in high school for two years, and he has the looks for it. He was a pretty fit guy who knew how to take care of himself. He had thick, curly dark brown hair, clear skin with freckles sprinkled across his nose, and deep blue eyes. There was no mistaking his height or his good looks.

 
But he looked so different then.

 
He used to be a small kid—not too scrawny, but short enough. Even though he was small, he was cute. They were freshmen when Will Byers walked in front of the class for the first time and introduced himself. Will didn’t have friends before this, before he became the Hawkins’ basketball team captain, and before his mother married the Chief, Jim Hopper. Mike always wanted to talk to him and befriend him, but of course, he was a coward, like his father.

Will’s look drastically changed last Summer. From the cute Will with a short height and no muscles in his arms became the hot Will with a height much taller than before and muscles in his arms. Don’t forget that little cute face, which became the hottest face Mike had ever seen. Did Will have abs? Sometimes, Mike thought that. And sometimes Mike wondered how it would feel if Will lifted him with those muscles. “Hey, are you listening to me?” Max snapped at him and made his thoughts disperse.

Mike straightaway awoke and snarled at Max. “He probably daydreams about how Byers lifted him with those muscular arms,” Dustin retorted. How did he know? Did Dustin have mind-reading powers or what?

 
Mike didn’t say anything back to Dustin’s statement because it was true. He was daydreaming about how he would feel if those muscles of Will lifted him; it would be so anything that Mike couldn’t describe it. “He’s daydreaming again.” Mike was suddenly conscious and back in reality. “He fucking did,” said Max, who high-fived Dustin and smiled mockingly at Mike.

 
Mike just gave them his middle finger and an annoyed face.

 
Mike ate the lunch he brought from his house. A sandwich. Mike always brought lunch to his school; he thought that school lunches weren’t too hygienic. Don’t blame him for being a too-clean freak.

 
Before he put his sandwich into his mouth, he got disturbed again by someone who really didn’t want Mike to get his fucking serenity by patting his shoulder. “Can someone just give me some fucking peace?!” Mike said before turning around that, when he did, he could see Will Byers. Will fucking Byers. “Uh, oh. I’m s-s-sorry... I didn’t mean it; I’m sorry.” Mike apologized with his hand on his neck, scrubbing it.

 
Shit, shit, shit. He didn’t know it was Will Byers who disturbingly patted his shoulder. He was so embarrassed now, but why would Will Byers pat his shoulder or why would Will Byers approach him? Shouldn’t Mike be the one who should approach Will Byers? As if he had those courageous qualities in himself.

 
“No, that’s okay. It’s my fault, anyway,” said the jock awkwardly? Mike wasn’t sure. “Uh, so, is there something you wanted from me? If you want money from me, unfortunately, I have none,” said Mike coldly to the brunette, who took a bite of his sandwich after.

 
Mike knew it wasn’t pleasant of him to say that. But it was his habit to say something without thinking. “It’s not about that; don’t worry. Um… So, after school ends, can I see you? I- I mean, can- can we talk?”

 
“O-kay,” Mike said, puzzled. “sureee...”

 
“Great!” shouted Will. “I mean, great. Meet me behind the school, I’ll wait for you.” smiled Will. He then looked at Mike’s friends, Max and Dustin, who were looking at him suspiciously. “And, please, I hope you don’t bring your friends.”

“Why?”

“I just want to talk to you privately; can you do that, please?” requested Will to Mike. Why would Will Byers want to talk with Mike privately? It was not like Mike had a problem with the jocks, right? Right?

Or was it some kind of sick joke made by the jocks to humiliate him?

The raven-haired boy just hummed and said, “Okay,” to the brunette. And by that, the jock smiled at him, a wide smile that could make Mike melt, and left him alone with his friends. He was still looking at the brunette to make sure the jock went to his seat safely. “What does he want from you?” asked Max, making Mike turn to face her and Dustin. “He wanted me to meet him-”
 

“I know about that; I heard it,” she cut Mike off before eating her lunch. “I mean, for what? Did you mess around with them?” accused Max, and Dustin gave him ‘Seriously, Mike? What did you do?’ face. He denied it: “What? Of course, no! Why would I?” To his knowledge, he didn’t have any beef with them before.
 

Dustin accused him one more time: “Are you sure?”
 

“Yes.” Mike sighed. “Well, what did he want from you, then?” Dustin looked curiously at Mike, who also didn’t know why the great Will Byers asked him to meet him behind the school.
 

“It’s not like you’re an attractive person who can pull some bitches.” Max said it bluntly and got a laugh from Dustin. Shit, that hurt to hear that even that was true. Mike quickly disagreed with her judgment, saying, “Take it back!”
 

“I am perfectly attractive. Maybe not for assholes like you, thank you.” Dustin made a disgusting face and said, “Ugh, whatever.”
 

It was a lie.
 

It was a lie when he said he was an attractive person. Because he was a nerd with square glasses in his eyes. While he was falling for a jock that completely looked like God’s favorite human by how perfect his features were.
 

It was true that he was not an attractive person, just like Max said.
 

It was true that he couldn’t pull some bitches, not even one. It was what he deserved—a laugh. Not by his words as the joke, but by his features as the joke for people to laugh.
 

It was not their fault that he was ugly. It was his fault that people called him Frogface because of his features. Maybe God despised him so much before that he gave him this life. There was nothing he could do but live for it.
 

Who knew? Maybe he was going to be pretty in the future. Maybe God will give him some miracles in the meantime. All he could do now was do nothing but live the life that had already been given to him by God himself. Now, he has just continued his thought and sank into it. He took a bite of his sandwich unconsciously until there was no more of the sandwich in his grip.

Chapter Text

I’m only up when you’re not down

Don’t wanna fly if you’re still on the ground

It’s like no matter what I do

Shit. 

Max realized something. She shouldn’t say that; she knew damn well that Mike was too easy to influence. She knew that Mike already thought her words about "being not attractive and can’t pull some bitches" were true. He probably had a list of those kinds of comments in his head. No matter how much Max wished it did, that was not what she meant by saying that kind of shit.

She should've said something; of course she should. “Oh shit, Mike. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean that way. Believe me, you’re attractive, and of course you can pull some bitc-” Before she could end her sentence, Mike had already cut her off by saying, “It’s fine, Max. You're just telling the truth,” he said calmly. Not the calm Mike!

She already felt guilty by now. She could perhaps handle the "usual" Mike, but not the "calm" Mike. The calm version of him would be polite and apologize to her, which was so different from the loud and always giving at least a middle finger version of Mike. (She secretly would say that she loved the loud version of Mike because, hell, she didn’t know what to do with the "calm" Mike)

But now she felt guilty for making Mike sad instead of angry. And not even Mike was angry; he was still calm, as if he wasn’t upset with Max at all. Max groaned, the guilt still over her by now. “Mi-”

“Don’t. I said it was fine,” as if he was, Max thought. “Yeah, Max. He’s fine!” Dustin made a statement that ended with his laugh. Max just sighed before retorting, “You’re not helping, Henderson.” She shook her head. “Hell yeah, I’m not!” he proudly said.

She wondered how she got these dumb nerds to be her friends. She let out another sigh and stretched her right arm before resting it on Mike’s right shoulder. The redhead girl noticed there was something with the boy beside him; she was not the only one, apparently. She looked over at Dustin, and she could see he was worried about the boy sitting beside her. “You okay, Mike?” Dustin asked him after Max was squeezing his shoulder, hoping he would relax. “Is it because of what I talked about earlier? Well, I di-”

Mike shook his head. “No, it’s not.”

The taller boy let out a muffled sound and ran his hand through his long, curly hair with a nervous feeling. The redhead frowned, and the boy seemed really stressed with whatever he was thinking or planning. He didn’t notice the concerned look Max was giving him, and Max wondered if the other boy didn’t either. Dustin seemed to take note of Max’s worry and tried to comfort Mike again, saying, “You don’t have to tell us. It’s probably nothing important anyway.” Max wanted to disagree, but Dustin continued, “You’re our friend first and foremost! We’ll always help you!” the brunette added while raising both his arms like he was ready to give a hug. “It is kinda important, actually,” he sighed after.

“You didn’t have to tell us if you’re not ready yet, y’know...” Now, it was Max’s turn to comfort the taller boy. The boy’s gaze seemed so lost as he was saying, “Yeah, yeah. I know. It- It’s just—there is something that is bothering my head,” he continued, still with his lost gaze glued to the table. “Home has been so messed up lately. With dad and mom always fighting, Nance in New York, and that left me and Holly.” He paused and sighed. “I tried to accompany Holly as much as I could. And apparently, now, I have no idea what I did wrong with the jocks. I hope it’s not anything serious; I just don’t want them to mess around with me.”

“You know how the jocks could be so dangerous if you’re messing around with them, especially that Jason guy,” he added, his voice slightly cracking. Max glanced around to see where the jocks were sitting. They were still laughing and acting like their usual selves. It was normal until Byers locked his gaze on Max’s. She obviously locked her gaze on the brunette and didn't want to be the coward who let go of the gaze first. But that didn’t mean he was so easily let go of his gaze like her; she gave her middle finger to him even though his dumbass friends looked at her and felt offended. She didn’t care. She already messed around with his stepbrother, Billy; messing around with those ass jocks would be easier, she thought. Her eyes returned to Mike when Byers had already let go of his gaze at her, coward.

Speaking of Byers, Max didn’t fully believe him. Imagine you’re a (hot) jock where everyone was over you, and then you suddenly notice a freak nerd (sorry, Mike) that you didn’t know was alive before that time, and you asked him to meet you behind the school after school ended. Sounds weird? Of course it was. She should talk about this with Mike. “Mike, you sure about meeting him behind the school? I mean, that is so weird that he wanted to talk behind the school. Why not right now in here or everywhere but behind the school after school ended today?” the redhead asked, concern filling her tone. The boy next to her nodded; his face looked worried. “Yeah, you don’t have to meet him at school if you don’t want to, unless you want to,” Dustin added.

Mike shrugged, “Well, it doesn’t hurt to talk with him at least once, I guess.” Max disagreed with that; it didn’t hurt with Max, but it did with Mike, she guessed. “If you don’t wanna meet him, though, we totally get it.” With that last sentence, Mike smiled at Max. “We could help you, you know,” the boy in front of them added again.

“Yeah, I know,” he whispered at the end. Mike’s voice was so calm that she was starting to wonder why Mike was so nervous about meeting Byers. Well, she knew why. Why? Because Byers was his crush, surprise! (she knew why he was crazy to the jock, because he was hot and could be cute at the same time (said Mike) and he was quite reminded Mike of his childhood best friend who was also named Will (actually it was William, but he insisted on calling him Will) strange right?)

Max couldn’t blame the boy if he was nervous because Byers was hot, not to mention cute. Heck, he could be cute and attractive if Max was honest. Max was totally jealous of herself that Byers could catch her attention as well. Even if she didn’t have a crush on the jock (or anyone. Seriously, she didn’t have any crushes on anyone yet. And why would she? She is perfectly on her own right now)

Mike was totally different from her: he wasn’t annoying to be friends with, he was fun to play around with, and he was nice, kind, and funny. Maybe not that funny, but funny enough, Max mused. His laughter wasn’t fake; he genuinely had a sense of humor. Mike and Dustin were so similar in their sense of humor, favorite movies, and even science. They were both nerds, while she was the cool student who didn’t give a shit to every subject, even though she had good grades. They were both into science, with Dustin loved biology and chemistry and Mike loved physics.

After being friends with them for almost 3 years, she noticed these things about them:

1. Both Mike and Dustin were smart, but neither of them showed that.

2. Dustin liked to joke around and Mike laughed at most of his jokes too, and vice versa. 

3. Mike was good at playing guitar and singing, but he never knew that or, more likely, denied that whenever Max and Dustin said he was good at it.

4. Dustin easily gets attached to something; just like a moment where his neighbor left their pet with Dustin while they were gone for days, he would easily get attached to them.

5. Mike was a good writer and storyteller.

6. She knew Mike was pretty, even when he was behind those glasses. Maybe he just needed to change his outfit style and get rid of his bangs, or maybe grow them until the length was the same as the hair. She thought that was way hotter than it looked. And more. 

On top of that, she was lucky to have them as her friends. No matter how many times she told them, Mike and Dustin would always listen to her without being sarcastic. If she needed someone to rant about a subject she hated, both of them would make an effort to understand what she was talking about. They were her favorite people in the world. They might look like freaks or they might sound like weirdos, but that didn’t mean they are. They were her family after her mom; she never felt Billy and his dad were her family. The two of them accompanied her when she was at her lowest, when Billy was bullying her, or when her mom and stepdad were fighting about Billy. They were there without a second thought. The two of them were the only people who supported her through her lowest moments. She knew that Dustin and Mike would support her through all of that if the situation required it.

She knew they were all their family. With Dustin, he had no siblings like her and only a mother who worked hard to finance them, and there was Mike with his family issues: mom and dad who always fought every day, an older sister who was away from home, a younger sister who didn’t know about everything that was going on in her home, and there was him, a child that his parents never cared about. He was broken just like she and Dustin; they found each other through the darkness that surrounded them and the pain and sorrow that they were feeling. And they were happy to find that. It made Max feel warm and fuzzy inside whenever she thought of her friends and family; it made her smile and laugh a lot. And she felt so thankful to them and so proud to have them as her friends, even though she didn’t show it to everyone. They were like her brothers, whom she never had.

And there she was, concerned about Mike, when Byers asked him to meet him behind the school building. She was afraid that it was some kind of joke the jocks would make or everything else that made her worry, but it was Mike that she was talking about. Of course, he would be so stubborn, as he wanted to meet the jock himself, so she just agreed that Mike wanted to meet the jock after school ended. She really hoped it wouldn’t turn out badly; she really did. She really hoped nothing really happened; the jock wouldn’t hurt Mike, would he? He seemed better than the Jason guy.

He seemed nicer. Max just hoped everything would go fine so that she wouldn’t worry too much. Or rather, he pretended to be better than the other jocks. He wouldn’t do something uncomfortable, would he? That was ridiculous, right? Yeah, everything will be okay. She repeated "everything will be okay" in her head like a mantra that would magically be granted.

She was so lost in her thoughts that when she heard what Mike said, she completely missed him asking his question, “What?”

“I asked you if you wanted to come to my house to give me company after school, and after I talked with Will, besides, there were only me and Holly in the house today. Holly keeps asking me when you two are coming home.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Dustin said he's up to it; how about you?” Hmm, that sounded interesting; she was definitely up to it. Besides, she wanted to play around with Holly; yeah, that would be definitely fun. “Sure, I’ll join,” she responded, smiling, making him smile as well.