Chapter Text
The entire group stands by the secret back exit James and Sirius had boarded up when they first created the Order. Sirius looks at the others, determination written on each of their faces. Minerva stands next to him and James, her hands folded in front of her.
"Be safe out there," she says, her voice sticking in her throat. Sirius can see the tears in her eyes. She the pseudo-mother of everyone in this bunker. She sees each of the members as her children, no matter their age.
It's early so no one else is awake to bother them. Lily has written a letter to Mary explaining what was going on, tears splattering on the paper. Peter looks nervous, his eyes shifting around anxiously. James is standing with his head high. Everyone has their bags that Sirius packed for them on their backs, after putting in whatever else they wanted to add.
Sirius has Regulus' knife wrapped carefully and tucked into one of the many pockets of his trousers. He's not losing that, not if he can help it. He wants it on his body at all times.
"Alright, is everyone ready to go?" James asks. There's no hesitation as everyone nods their heads. Sirius swallows harshly and straightens his back.
"Let's go before anyone notices we're gone," he says. Minerva places a steady hand on his shoulder.
"I'll let Mary, Frank, and Alice know that they're in charge until you come back," she says. That tiny bit of faith in them coming back gives Sirius more hope than he'd like to admit.
"Let's do this," Marlene says.
Remus helps James open the door, and Sirius turns to Minerva as everyone piles into the exit, the dark tunnel leading out shadowing them instantly.
"Frank will help you push the bookshelf back into place if you can't manage it yourself. Fabian and Gideon might be around, but I have a feeling they found this tunnel when they first joined, so they shouldn't give you much bother for it." He doesn't want to say 'good-bye' to her, so he darts forward and gives her a quick kiss on the forehead, before jumping into the tunnel besides James and closing the door behind them, dust blowing up around them as it thuds shut.
There's a lapse into silence before Peter turns his torch on, showing the way forward. The tunnel hasn’t been used in a long, long time. Sirius and James had only been through it once and that was to see where it came out. As soon as they got back to the base, they shut it up so it could be used as an emergency exit should they ever need it. The walls are a smooth concrete all the way through, and their footsteps echo as they walk along. Spiderwebs litter the ceiling above them, almost brushing the tops of James and Remus' heads.
They walk in silence for most of the journey until Marlene speaks up.
"Is this mission to find your brother?" she asks, looking at Sirius. The others all turn towards him too, except James, who keeps an eye ahead of them.
"Yes," Sirius replies, not bothering to lie. "We look for Reggie, see if there's any survivors with him, and then come back. While we're out there we can study the changes of the zombies if we come across any." Surprisingly, no one complains. "
What makes you think he's alive?" Remus asks. When Sirius turns to glare at him, daggers shooting from his eyes, he holds his hands up in surrender. "I just mean it's been a while. When did you last see him? Almost a year ago? And I know you haven't heard from him at all since, otherwise you would have gone to him before. What changed?"
Sirius sucks the inside of his cheek before answering. It's a fair question, he knows that, but it still annoys him all the same.
"Jamie found something when he was out there alone," is all he replies. Lily hums, walking forward to reach for James' hand. Sirius watches as James links their fingers together, pulling her closer to his side.
"How long is this tunnel?" Peter groans, dragging his feet.
"We're almost half way there," James replies.
"Half way?" Peter complains, causing Marlene to chuckle.
"C'mon Pete, cheer up. At least there's no zombies down here," she says. Sirius reaches over and pushes her shoulder, making her trip. "Hey, what was that for?" She snaps jokingly, turning to him.
"Don't jinx it," is all he says.
They lapse back into a silence, broken only by James and Lily murmuring in each other's ears. Eventually, after walking for what feels like hours, they reach the other side of the tunnel.
"Remember, we have no idea what's behind this door," James says, reaching up to touch the large handle. Sirius stands up to help him and just as they're about to open it, Marlene lets out a small giggle. Sirius frowns, turning to her.
"Sorry, sorry, it's just that… what if it doesn't open? We'll have to walk all the way back to base, but everyone else will be awake by now and the exit will be covered up again. I think that would be a bit funny," she says through laughter.
Lily laughs with her, and Peter chuckles along. Sirius turns back to James who's clearly holding back a laugh himself. There's only Remus who's not laughing along, and when Sirius makes eye-contact with him, he rolls his eyes, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lip.
As the laughter dies down, the two leaders try open the door. It's stiff and heavy to open, dirt and grime sticking it together. It takes a while for it to even budge.
"See what you've done now, Marlene?" Sirius says dramatically, throwing himself on the ground, exhausted. James takes a step back, breathing heavy.
"This is shut tight, we did a good job at locking it," he says. Sirius groans.
"A bit too good of a job. Someone else have a go."
"This isn't as funny as I thought it would be…" Marlene says quietly.
Sirius stands and walks out the way as Remus steps up to take his place, placing his backpack on the ground next to Sirius' and placing his hands on the metal door. Sirius watches in awe as the door starts to creak, slowly opening. James turns to Sirius with his mouth hanging open, Oh, he's strong, he mouths to Sirius. Marlene catches his eye as well and dramatically fans herself, pulling herself together when Remus turns round before he can see what she's doing.
"There you go," he says roughly, picking up both his and Sirius' bags and walking through the open door.
Sirius' mouth is bone-dry, and it takes an embarrassingly long time to follow the others through the door, punching a laughing James on the shoulder when he passes. They close the door behind them and turn to find the others already walking down the street, following Remus.
"He doesn't even know where we're going, the wanker," Sirius says grumpily.
"Are you actually mad at him, or are you just mad you're attracted to him?" James asks before he jogs to catch up to them without waiting for an answer.
Sirius groans, dragging his feet as he follows James, who has caught up to the others and laughing at something Marlene has said.
"Of course I'm attracted to him, the bloody git. With his gorgeous eyes and hair, and those huge hands and holy crap he's so strong, he could probably pick me up like I'm nothing…" he mutters to himself, kicking stray pebbles as he walks. In the distance, they can see the main entrance they used for the bunker, the herd of zombies still crowd around it, bigger than it had been when they had been chasing James. Sirius shudders. If they hadn't been about to go on a mission, would they have noticed him? Would the doors have opened on time, or would he have been trapped by the herd and the door?
"Stop thinking so loud," a voice says next to him. Sirius moves without thinking, grabbing a switchblade from his pocket and bringing it up to the jugular vein in the neck of the person who spoke. Remus doesn't even flinch, just blinking slowly at him. "Are you going to put that away?" he asks when Sirius hasn't moved. As he speaks, the skin presses against the blade and Sirius zones in on the tiny blood droplet that escapes from where the blade is pressed.
"Sorry," he mumbles, wiping the blade on his trousers before slipping it back into his pocket. "You startled me." Remus hands one of the backpacks over and Sirius pulls it over his shoulders as they start walking step in step.
"You want to talk about what's going on in there?" Remus asks and Sirius frowns.
"With you?" It comes out snarkier than he intended.
"I don't get you," Remus snaps, all friendly intentions gone. "We get on fine, then we fight. We fuck, then we don't speak. I try to be nice to you, but you go and be a dick about it." Sirius clenches his jaw, the muscles jumping.
"You confuse me," he admits. "And I fucked up when we had sex, it was a mistake-"
"Oh it was a mistake? That's fucking rich." Remus barks out a laugh.
"No! I mean the timing was a mistake! You're doing it again, making my brain all confused and unable to focus properly!" Sirius groans, turning away from the taller man.
Remus pauses a moment before speaking again.
"Explain to me what you mean by that," he says gently.
"What? That you muddle up my brain so all I can think about is your eyes and hands, and how you just opened that bunker door by yourself even though me and James were struggling with each other and it makes me think what else can you do with all that strength."
"I meant what do you mean by 'the timing was wrong' but you can tell me about how you want me to pin you against the wall if you want," Remus says, and Sirius turns round to see a smirk playing at his lips.
"I didn't mention you pinning me against the wall," he says dumbly, a blush flooding his cheeks, because can Remus read minds? What else has he seen?
"You didn't? huh, I must just be thinking that myself," Remus says lowly.
Sirius swallows the saliva that has suddenly flooded his mouth. Remus' amber eyes follow the movement of his throat, and Sirius has to focus on everything other than the smell of Remus' hair. They've come to a stop, standing close together, so close that Sirius thinks he might do something he probably shouldn't do outside of a shelter.
"Um," he says, because he wasn't lying when he said his brain doesn't work around this man.
"What on earth has happened to the man who showed me around the bunker? The one who was so nervous around me he wouldn't stop talking?" Remus says quietly. He glances towards the others, before heading towards them again, tugging Sirius' arm to make him follow.
"He fucked up?" Sirius suggests. Honestly he's not paying attention to this conversation right now, Remus' hand is on him.
"By having sex at the wrong time?" Remus asks, and Sirius nods.
"Yeah, Jamie was outside and I didn't even know if he was alive or not. I needed a distraction."
"But then you regretted it?" Remus prompts.
"I regretted using you as the distraction, I didn't regret what we did." Sirius is following Remus blindly, not noticing that they've separated from the group until Remus pulls him into a building out of sight.
"I didn't mind you using me as a distraction, Sirius," He says. Their bags get dropped to the ground. Sirius looks over his shoulder to the others, but Remus tilts his head back with a gentle grip on his chin. "What I didn't like was you running away with no explanation, or how you haven't managed to look me in the eyes since."
He looks him in the eyes now, amber and silver swirling together.
"The others will be worried about us," Sirius whispers. Remus takes a step closer until Sirius' back is against the crumbling wall.
"I told James I needed to talk to you privately, they won't worry." A stupid part of Sirius' brain shouts that Remus is going to kill him, but it's immediately silenced when he feels a kiss on his lips. His eyes automatically flutter shut, his hands sliding to Remus' hips. Remus pulls back before Sirius can deepen the kiss, still close enough that their noses brush against each other. "I like you, Sirius," he whispers. "I don’t care if you want to just use me as a distraction or as a way of getting out of your head, I'll let you use me however you want." He steps back, causing Sirius' hands to fall. "Now come on, the others are waiting for us." As Remus steps away, Sirius brings a finger to brush against his lips.
"I like you, too," he says, but Remus has already left the building, holding the door ajar for Sirius to follow.