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Chapter Text

Wednesday June 14th, 1996

Los Angeles Times

In a shocking turn of events, superstar Taylor Swift has died at age 31. This comes following the news on monday morning that the singer was rushed to hospital in critical condition. At this time the cause of death is unknown as we await a statement from the star's team, however we do know that this follows the revelation from actress Eva Marlow regarding her-

Saturday April 7th,  1990

Eva Marlow stared down into the liquid of her old fashioned, watching as swirled around the confines of the glass. She took a sip, enjoying the warmth it brought, trailing down her throat, and the buzz that settled in her stomach.  She turned to look around at the crowd of celebrities that littered the floor of the Vanity Fair after party, feeling both the accomplishment of having established herself amongst them, and a giddy enthusiasm to converse with her idols.

Eva scanned the room, trying to find someone approachable, when her eyes landed on a man standing in the corner of the room, he was the only one of the sea of bodies that wasn't swaying in time with the music, a recent hit. She decided to make her way over, sliding down from the leather bar stool that stuck to the back of her thighs and smoothing out her mini dress, wiping the drops of condensation from her glass onto the silk in the process.   She made her way across the room, sliding between groups of tipsy elites to reach the man who had drawn her attention, only realising once she reached him that she had not thought through what to say.

He caught her eye, raising one eyebrow and pursing his lips ever so slightly, as though gauging her intentions, or trying to put a name to her face.  The actress began to flush under his gaze, feeling her cheeks heat up and turning to make a quick exit.

"Hold on" The man's voice seeped through the bass of the music. He sounded british, and even more self assured than he looked. Realising this guy is probably a prick, Eva cursed her misjudgement but turned back around.

"My name's Henry, I didn't mean to put you off, I just thought I recognised you from somewhere."

She was unsure how to feel, he seemed frendly enough, but there was something about him that intimidated her.

Unfazed by her lack of response, he continued. "I'm a producer. Where might I know you from?"

"Well theres just the one role so far, I'm here for my part in Alicante"

Henry's jaw opened slightly, as the realisation came over him. "I remember now, you played that girl, the one who's dad dies."

Eva smiled, excited to have left an impression on a producer. "You don't seem too impressed with the music." She pointed out.

"Don't I? Well-" At that moment he was cut off, as a blonde walked up to the couple, swooping in between them and placing her hand on Henry's shoulder.

Eva found her breath caught in her chest, jaw dropping at the sight of the beautifl woman. She must've been in her mid twenties, she was  dressed perfectly from head to toe, in a floor length A-line silk dress, with slits that reached along her thighs and up to her hips and a plunging neckline that revealed the curve of her breasts. The woman wore a pair of silver stilletos, allowing her to stand nearly as tall as Eva herself, her golden hair ebbed and flowed past her shoulders, falling into place like dominos. She wore a smokey black eye that eccentuated the blue of her iris, and her lips were coated in a sheer red gloss, in the shape of a bow so perfect it must have been made by cupid himself.

"What's this about the music?", the woman inquired, a soft smile on her face.

"Eva here was suggesting that I didn't seem too enthusiastic about their song choice." Henry supplied, neglecting to introduce the bombshell blonde.

"I see. Well that is a shame, I had thought you would enjoy the refrences, especially my mention of that night in London." She replied with a tone of dry sarcasm. Eva was utterly confused, did the woman work for Vanity Fair? Was she responsible for curating the playlist? Her questions were swiftly answered as the woman continued.

"How rude of me to not introduce myself. My name is Taylor, I'm Henry's wife, and this is my song." Somehow the woman managed to be so brazen and yet not vome acros as rude. It was clear that she enjoyed the mild awkwardness of the situation, having caught Eva attempting to flirt with her husband. Yet she made no attempts to belittle or insult her, or Henry for that matter, if anything she appeared intrigued.

"I apologise if I intruded on anything, I hadn't realised Henry was married." Eva tried to cover herself, feeling a little blindsighted by the lack of mention of said wife earlier on.

Taylor laughed a little. "It seemed neither did he." She pulled a flask out from her purse and flicked off the lid before taking a sip.

Henry seemed to think it was time to stop the uncomfortable conversation and seized the oppurtunity. "Well it's been great meeting you Eva, but I think it's time for us to head home. It seems my wife may have had a little too much to drink." He placed a hand on Taylor's waist and rubbed his thumb across her hip bone.

It was clear to Eva that to at least some extent this was an excuse, however Henry genuinely seemed to care about Taylor, and so she accepted his reasoning.

This was followed by a curt "Have I now?" from taylor, who huffed slightly, but conceeded.

However, as Eva turned to go, she felt a hand brush her side. She looked back to see Taylor had hung behind, and was holding out a peice of paper for Eva to take, with an address scrawled on it.  "Come by later, I'm hosting my own soiree this evening. There'll be food."

She placed the paper into Eva's hand with a soft touch that sent shivers up her spine and made the hairs on her arm stand on end, leaving one last glance into Eva's eyes and leaving to follow her husband.

The look had been warmer than she expected, and despite her best judgement, Eva knew she couldn't pass on the oppurtunity to get to know the blonde better.

Chapter Text

Feeling not nearly as tisy as she would like to be, Eva made her way up a set of stone steps that led to the address written on her paper. An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach as Eva took note of the lack of music eminating from the house, only a few of the rooms had lights on and there was no sign of other cars or any life at all.

The house itself felt both imposing and oddly cozy, the former for it's several stories, pristine paintwork and tall gates, and the latter for the quaint flowerbeds that surrounded it. Eva could only imagine the army of gardeners that Taylor had employed to care for the garden.

It was hours past the time that she would typically go to sleep, leaving her with a slightly hazed feel and a dull ache in her heels. Eva couldn't begin to rationalise how she had ended up here, nor did she want to.

Eventually, the actress reached the door, loosely grasping the knocker and pulling it back. Within a few seconds she could hear footsteps approaching, and soon the door was opened by Taylor herself, with a faint smile. The singer stepped back and allowed Eva to walk through into the hallway.

"I was beginning to worry you wouldn't show" The blonde retorted, her tone light.

Eva couldn't help but show her shock on her face, she had never agreed to come in the first place. "Well what made you so sure I would?" She questioned, finding the blonde too self-assured for her liking.

Taylor's expression fell ever so slightly, as she questioned whether this had been a horrible idea, and it was only then that Eva was able to fully take in her appearence. Taylor was no longer wearing the scandelous dress that she had been a few hours ago, but was dressed in a beige cashmere sweater and a pair of jeans. Her hair was now tied up with a few pievces having fallen loose, and her lipstick had been removed, leaving behind a fain red stain. Her jewellery was delicate but no doubt expensive, all in russian gold, complementing her bright engagement ring. She looked stunning.

"Well maybe I read you wrong, but I just thought-... Nevermind. I do actually have a confession to make." Taylor bit her lip and furrowed her brows slightly, aware that what she was about to say may sound crazier than it originally had in her head.

"There's no Party. I- umm... I actually just made us some dinner and was hoping for some company." Eva felt as though this may be her last chance to run, as the door was still open behind her, allowing the cool night air to seep in. But something in her gut told her to stay, besides, she had so many questions that needed answering.

"Alright. I'll stay, but if this is some crazy plan to murder me for talking to your husband, I swear I'm really not that interested in him."

Taylor chuckled and lead Eva through the hallway into her Kitchen, where two places were set, accompanied by a bottle of wine. The walls were adorned with whimsical touches and personal photos with freinds and family.

"Do you like pasta? I would usually ask what you like beforehand but I didn't have your number so I went with something safe... why are you looking at me like that?"

Eva hadn't realised how obvious her staring was and rushed to cover herself before realising there was little point. "I'm just confused. That's all"

Taylor seemed to have been expecting as much as she turned to stir the pasta before looking back over at the actress and leaning against The counter. "Go ahead."

"I don't want to come off rude, but it's nearly 2am and you just tricked me into coming to your house for dinner. Is this something you usually do? And I can't understand why you even want me here, all you know about me is that I was chatting up your husband earlier."

Taylor took a moment to reply, wondering how much information was appropriate. "I'm not really a big sleeper, this really isn't that late for me. I suppose you could put it down to my rocker lifestyle." She gestured to herself sarcastically.  "As for the thing with Henry, I really don't mind, he can do what he wants, and besides, he prefers blondes."

She waltzed over to the bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and poured herself a generous glass. "I like you, I can't say exactly what it is but there's something about you that I really like and I could do with the company."

"If you don't mind me asking, where is Henry?" Eva  brushed over the previous comment, it felt a little too honest for her liking, like they were veering dangerously close to a very vulnerable place.

Taylor looked into her eyes once again, reading the intent of her question, before walking back to the stove and serving the pasta with a tomato sauce.

Eva had already drank far too much tonight, and the food, though amazing, made her stomach churn ever so slightly. Clearly Taylor felt the same, as her portion was notably smaller. Fearing disappointing the singer, she twirled the pasta around her fork and took a bite, pleased to feel her appetite return at the taste.

"He's spending the night at the penthouse, with a young singer. I believe her name was Daisy something."
Taylor took another sip of wine.

"Oh. I'm sorry I hadn't realised.."

Taylor laughed again. "My mistake I should have prefaced that. Henry and I aren't exclusive, we aren't really in a relationship like that at all."

Eva nearly spat out her spaghetti. "So you guys are like swingers?" She couldn't help but feel a little judgemental at the thought, a couple who went around having sex with anyone they pleased, trading partners with other married couples.

"No, no it's not like that. Are relationship has several purposes, it's partly contractual, we both benefit in terms of publicity. We also have a romantic relationship, though relatively casual, and a friendship. But we also engage in relations with other people."

Eva swallowed tightly, he could feel her Catholic mother berating her for engaging with such deviant people.

"What do you mean by publicity? What benefits do you get from everyone knowing you have a husband?"
She took another mouthful of food, spilling some of the sauce onto her chin and grimacing at her poor etiquette before wiping it away with the back of her hand.

"There's always been a lot of rumours surrounding me, one's that put me in the wrong light, and while I don't really mind- I've come to terms with it, my management feel very strongly about my image. The truth is that a lot of it is rooted in reality, and the only way they agreed to back off my personal life was to set up a stable and healthy relationship. For Henry it was more simple, he's paid a good amount of money to come to my events and keep me on the right path, and I bring in good attention to his films. I'm his glorified handbag and he's my glorified babysitter." Taylor had now finished her glass of wine and was now pouring another, seeming more than comfortable with the conversation.

Eva had more questions now than she had started off with.  What were these rumours and what was so wrong with her personal life?

"Enough about me. Tell me about you, who is Eva Marlow?"
Taylor seemed genuinely interested, not just trying to shift the conversation.

"Well,  I'm 26, my parents are Australian but I was born in Brooklyn, I got my first big job last year and am hoping to build on it and create an acting career for myself."
Taylor smiled, remembering how Eva's performance in Alicante had made her heart soar.

"I saw it with Henry a few weeks ago,  you were really incredible Eva."

The actress felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. She needed to change the topic , for fear she would say something stupid.  "Let's play a game, to get to know each-other better. Two truths and a lie."

Taylor could feel the warmth of the wine creeping up on her. "Sure, I'll go first. So umm... Taylor Swift isn't my real name, I have three cats, and I don't get along with my parents."

Eva took a moment to think through the options, it was harder than she expected. "Taylor swift does sound like a pop star name. So maybe it's just a stage name. You can't seriously have three cats."

Taylor was evidently surprised by her answer, unsure
whether she should actually be rather embarrassed for having three cats. "I do... I do actually have three cats, Mere, Dibbles and Benji. Taylor's my only name as far as I know."

The brunette nodded in understanding, her view of the singer changing rapidly. "Okay. I had never hear of you before tonight, my friends always say I'm the Mum of the group, and I also.. prefer blondes." In the heat of the moment Eva was shocked by what she just said, not only had she sounded flirty with her random comment about blondes, but she realised that all three of the statements were true.

Taylor felt her heart jump at the last admission, was the actress trying to say something? She scolded herself for jumping to that place. The singer had promised herself that tonight was only for the purpose of making a friend
"I wouldn't be so bold as to assume you've heard of me, but... well I sort of would. I think that one is probably true, so I'm going to guess that you aren't attracted to blondes."

"Actually that one was a bit of a trick, I accidentally gave three truths." The air in the room suddenly felt thicker as an awkward silence settled between the women.

"So is this something you do often? The whole handing your address over and cooking midnight meals for people."

Taylor blushed. "No not really, it was out of character for me. I've invited people over like that before, but never for a meal." She realised how suggestive that sounded only after the words had left her mouth, but it was true.

"It didn't seem very out of character to me. If anything, this, feels much stranger." Eva hadn't intended to come across as accusatory, but if felt as though she had.

Taylor frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"

She tried to correct herself. "Not in a bad way. It's just that you seemed so bold and edgy, kind of cold, earlier. But here I'm meeting an avid cook with three cats and a beautiful garden, it's like two different people."

Taylor thought carefully about how to respond, Eva wasn't wrong at all, Taylor was quite different in public.
"It's not entirely fake, just a more guarded side of me, almost an artistic pseudonym. That Taylor is unapologetic and people treat her with a lot of respect, this Taylor isn't so much." She seemed awfully interested in her nail polish, neglecting to lift her eyes to the brunette opposite.

"Being a little softer doesn't mean people won't respect you. But if that persona helps you to create art, and separates the celebrity from the human, it sounds like a really nice way to approach your career." Eva was intrigued by Taylor, now more than ever, she was desperate to find out more about the blonde.

Taylor nodded, finally looking up at the actress and appreciating how she had listened and understood her. Most people would have accused her of being deceptive or fake.

She stood up to put away the plates, rinsing them before placing everything in the dishwasher.
"I'm sorry for ambushing you with this. I must seem crazy. Feel free to head home, you must be exhausted. Or of course you could stay the night, I have plenty of room and spare things."

Eva wasn't ready to let the night go. "There's no need, I know you aren't going to bed anytime soon. I want the Taylor swift experience." She hoped she wasn't overstaying her welcome.

"Oh, sure. We don't we go to the living room? It's coziest in there." Taylor gestured for Eva to follow her and led her into the other room.

It wasn't exactly Eva's definition of cozy, the ceiling was incredibly high and the room was filled with deep red, purple and blue furnishings, it felt grand.

"So what would you like to do?" Taylor stood awkwardly in the centre of the room.

Eva noticed the grand piano in the corner of the room, and plucked up the confidence to make a request. "Would you be able to play me something?"

Taylor followed her gaze and looked to the piano. "Sure, any requests?" She carefully lifted the guard and sat on the stool, allowing for enough room that Eva could choose to sit beside her or on the armchair opposite.

"I'd love to hear something by you.  I know hardly anything about music." To Taylor's disappointment, she sat down in the armchair across the room.

"Okay, this song is kind of different to my usual sound, so I'm not sure if it's just a little boring, but I like it so... here it goes." Her fingertips pressed down on the keys with a light touch, dancing over the notes to create a soft and airy rhythm.

"Please picture me
In the trees
I hit my peak at seven feet
In the swing
Over the creek
I was too scared to jump in"

Her voice was smooth and soft, falling through the words inattentively, loosing clarity here and there as a result of the wine.
Her brows dipped, focussing on the notes as blonde strands of hair fell from her loosened ponytail.

"But I, I was high in the sky
With Pennsylvania under me
Are there still beautiful things?"

Taylor looked back over at Eva, trying to see if she was enjoying it, finding herself to be uncharacteristically nervous for the actress's reaction.
She smiled back, clearly enjoying the music, and nodded for Taylor to continue.

"Your braids like a pattern
Love you to the moon and to Saturn
Passed down like folk songs
The love lasts so long"

Taylor took a deep breath,  looking over to Eva once more before starting the bridge.

"And I've been meaning to tell you
I think your house is haunted
Your dad is always mad and that must be why
And I think you should come live with
Me and we can be pirates
Then you won't have to cry"

She paused for a moment, biting her lip and looking out the window, before catching herself and continuing.

"Or hide in the closet"

It was at that moment that Eva realised what Taylor was doing, what the song was about, and what she had been trying to do all evening.  Taylor was a lesbian, or at least some kind of homosexual. Eva had to take a moment to control her thoughts, to correct her initial reaction. It is okay, there's nothing wrong with what Taylor wants. She shoved the image of her mother's judgemental face back and scolded herself for her reaction. Taylor is just a person, like anyone else.  Besides, Eva herself had done a few unsavoury things with women after too many tequila shots back in college.

"And just like a folk song
Our love will be passed on
Please picture me
In the weeds
Before I learned civility
I used to scream ferociously
Any time I wanted"

Taylor had clearly noticed the pause that Eva felt, and had begun to sing quieter and quieter. The actress met her eye with a reassuring smile, letting her know it was okay.

"Pack your dolls and a sweater
We'll move to India forever
Passed down like folk songs
Our love lasts so long"

Taylor sped through the last part of the song, barely distinguishing the words, before she closed the lid of the piano with shaky hands.  "Anyway, there you go. That's really the type of music I tend to keep to myself, a bit boring I know but that's what happens when you stick me in-front of a piano, I get all pensive and melancholy."

Wanting to alleviate the singer's anxiety, Eva walked over and filled in the silence. "Could you teach me some? That was incredible."

Taylor appeared to regain her composure, finding her usual confidence.  "Of course. Come sit by me and I'll teach you some chords."

Taylor pointed to the notes, explaining each one and showed Eva how to make a chord.

Eva struggles slightly, fumbling over the keys and biting her lip in concentration, sending butterflies flying in Taylor's stomach.

"Do you mind if I-" Taylor placed her hands over Eva's and helped her to press down, creating a perfect C. Eva paused at the feeling of a Taylor's touch, unfamiliar with the warmth it gave her. She couldn't believe that this woman was giving her these feelings.

They both paused, looking into each others eyes. Eva's glance flicked down to Taylor's lips. "Holy shi-"

Taylor closed the gap, bringing their lips together in a kiss.

Chapter Text

That's why they call me Lolita
When I get down I'm Bonita

Lana del Rey - Taco Truck

Taylor's fingertips brushed against the nape of Eva's neck as she pulled her in closer, savouring the feeling of her touch.
Eva was borderline mortified at what they were doing, but she let herself go, not wanting her inhibitions to ruin the moment.

The actress could hardly recognise herself as she reached under Taylor's thighs and pulled her closer.  Taylor's heart soared at the movement, feeling goosebumps across her arms.  She leaned in closer,  enjoying the soft breaths on her cheek.

The singer made the mistake of taking a moment to pull apart, and look at Eva.  She immediately questioned herself, wondering if she had read the whole situation wrong. "Is this okay? I don't-... I um..."

In all honesty Eva wasn't sure whether this was something she wanted to do, but the look of shame on Taylor's face and the feeling of the blonde's body on hers was enough for her to disregard that thought. "It's okay. It's... better thank just okay."  She leaned back in and connected their lips once again.

Taylor shifted forwards as their lips touched, to the point where she was practically sitting in Eva's lap. Her hands slid down onto the actress's waist. "You are insanely beautiful."  She giggled, brushing a stray strand of hair behind Eva's ear.

"Are you kidding me? You're basically a sec icon" Eva had intended it as a compliment, but clearly Taylor disagreed, as she scrunched up her nose and laughed.

"Hardly."

She grasped Eva's hand and led her up the stairs and into her bedroom.

Eva backed Taylor into the room, her tongue dancing around the singer's mouth, and her hands tangled in her hair. They kept going until the back of Taylor's knees hit the bed and she collapsed into the sheets with a gasp.
"Fuck that's hot." Eva remarked at the sight of Taylor lying under her.

As Taylor started to remove the actress's clothes, she began to feel nervous. The only time Eva had ever done something with a woman, she had been incredibly drunk, she had no clue how to please Taylor.

"Have you ever done this before?" Eva asked, already knowing that she wouldn't like the answer.

Taylor bowed her head. "Um... it's not like, a regular thing for me. I'm more of a relationship person. But yeah, I've had one night stands before. Not that I'm saying I would never see you again or anything like that. I absolutely would. I mean... obviously only if you wanted too, and I know I don't know you that well yet so maybe I'm jumping the gun her but uhh... you're just really gorgeous. It like, hurts."

Eva laughed at Taylor's rambling, glad that she wasn't the only one that was nervous. It felt weirdly romantic, that they weren't just lusting for each-other.

"This is absolutely not me. So you're in charge, I have no clue how this is supposed to go." Eva sat up.

Taylor blushed red. "We'll I'm not usually in char- never mind. It's not hard, you just do what feels right."

Eva, couldn't hold back any longer. "Enough talking." She pounced on Taylor, slipping her tongue back into the singer's mouth and pulling off her sweater.

Taylor moaned quietly as she felt Eva's hands on her breasts. "Hold on." She muttered, jumping up to dim the lights. The room darkened to the point where just enough light was left in order for the girls to be able to make each other out across the room.

"I can't have sex in a bright ass room." The blonde affirmed while removing Eva's clothing.

"Let me lead." She grabbed the brunette's thighs and pulled her down the bed, with her knees up, before parting them just enough to slip herself between them. The singer gave her one last glance, before leaning down to give Eva what she needed.

The other woman threaded her hands in Taylor's hair and gripped her head, holding it tightly to her centre.

Within minutes she was gasping heavily, her chest rising and falling so fast she feared she would faint.

Once Eva had reached her climax, Taylor sat back up, still wearing her soaked thong and bra. She wiped her chin, grinning widely before diving beneath the covers.

"But I didn't give you anything-" Eva tried to apologise.

"Don't even think about it. It's nearly 5am, this was about you. I'm okay." She removed her underwear and threw on an oversized Eagles shirt, throwing another over to Eva.

Taylor climbed back under the covers, joining Eva who was staring at the ceiling.

"Are you okay? You seem upset." Taylor looked over, concerned she may have done something to upset the brunette.

Eva shook her head softly. "No. Well.. I don't know. I've never felt like this before."

"Like what?" Taylor replied.

"Like I would throw away my entire life, like I would dive off a cliff, to be able to do something everyday." Eva realised how crazy she sounded.

"For sex? I'm really not that great. My ex always used to say I was too clumsy." She had to refrain from laughing at the memory of accidental kneeing Diana in the face while trying to eat her out.

"No. For you. Jesus Christ what is wrong with me? This is not me at all. I'm like... a Catholic. I mean I was never a very good one, but an hour ago I would've said that I wanted to marry a nice man and have a few kids, take them to church every Sunday. Now I think I could never be happy unless I was with-"

"Me." Taylor rolled over and looked at Eva.

"You're right. That's insane. But I'm sure it won't surprise you to hear I feel the same."
She laced their fingers together.

"I get what you mean about the religion thing. I grew up in Tennessee, but the last time I went to church the vicar told me I was going to burn forever and tried to hold me down and throw holy water over me. Granted I had told him god made pussy to be licked and if men couldn't do it, women should."

Eva burst out laughing. "Holy shit you're insane. You must've given your parents a hard time."

The singer nodded. "Hell yeah. They deserved it honestly, I hardly speak to them now. Not since my mom tried to pay her friend's son to date me. That was probably 5 years ago, but I send them money every month and they always send over a patronising birthday card."

The brunette frowned, that sounded hard. "My mum passed away last year, she was a super devout Catholic, but she always meant well."

"Thank you. For listening to me, and for being so vulnerable. My friends are amazing, but they stay with light topics most of the time."
Taylor felt an inexplicable connection with the woman across from her.

"I know how insane this is, we literally just met, and we're also both drunk. But I think there's something really special here. I feel like... I've been waiting to meet you for so long. God I'm a lesbian!" She picked up the pillow and held it over her head.

Taylor furrowed her brows. "You know there's more than two options right?"

Eva lifted up the pillow and looked over. "What?"

"Jesus Christ you grew up in Brooklyn, how could you have never heard of being-"
Taylor couldn't believe how limited Eva's understanding was of these things, considering she just got eaten out by a woman.

"I'm not a lesbian. I do prefer woman usually, but I can still enjoy relationships with men. Like me and Henry, we're mostly just close friends, but we spend a lot of time together and we like to flirt a lot, then occasionally we have sex. I'm bisexual, it means I swing either way." Eva felt an unreasonable frustration when thinking about Taylor and Henry in bed together.

"So I suppose I'm that too. After tonight I can't possibly think that I'm not interested in women." Eva shuffled herself closer to Taylor.

Taylor closed the distance, wrapping her legs around Eva's and leaning her head against the brunette's shoulder. "Is this okay?"

Eva looked down at the blonde and stroked her hair lightly. "It's perfect."

When Taylor woke up the next morning, her head was aching faintly. She rolled over to see that the space next to her was empty and wondered whether the whole thing had been a dream. Then she noticed a piece of paper on the bedside table across from her.

"Jesus fucking christ Taylor. This is what you get for fucking a straight woman you found at a party. She woke up and realised it was a mistake. Fucking idiot." The blonde groaned, rolling out of bed and walking over to the note.

Taylor - thank you so much for last night. I had an amazing time. I'm so sorry for leaving without saying goodbye but you looked so peaceful, and I remember you saying you don't get much sleep. I have an audition in an hour so I have to go, but here's my number, please call.
+1 415 555 2671

Taylor grabbed the paper and held it up to her chest, jumping up and down and squealing.

She ran downstairs and grabbed her phone, dialling a number she had committed to memory.

"Taylor?" Henry answered.

"Oh my god you won't believe what just happened." She replied, staring back at the note as though it might suddenly disappear.

"What? Is it Dianna? Or that girl you were hitting on last night?" He knew her more than well enough to know a call like this was probably related to the blonde's love life.

"God no. We do not speak of that devil-born witch. No, it's option two. Eva." Taylor cringed at the memory of her wild and reckless affair with Dianna.

"She actually came, and I cooked her dinner and then she asked me to play her a song on the piano, and we talked and talked and she was so interesting and kind and so so beautiful, and we kissed and then we had sex and she left before I woke up but she left me the kindest note ever with her number and I'm actually in love." Taylor twirled around, tangling herself in the phone chord.

"Okay, slow down cowgirl. I'm pleased you've found another flame after the witch. But have you considered the possibility that you are getting in way over your head here? I mean you just met a straight woman. And you're already planning the wedding." Henry was always the more grounded of the pair, a sarcastic bastard when he wanted to be, but he really did look out for her.

"Absolutely. This is probably going to bite me in the ass in a week's time. But like... I really don't care.  Anyways, how was your night?"
She knew Henry would only keep warning her if they continued with that subject.

"She was alright, a little too keen if I'm honest. You're better. Then again you're a whore so-"

Taylor cut him off  "oh shut up, you just admitted you love it. And besides you've slept with ten times more women than me."

"Well at least I can stick to one side, you swing around faster than a goddamn roundabout." Henry replied, scoffing.

"Right that's enough of you. I'll see you this evening for a garden club sesh."

The producer rolled his eyes. "That's a ridiculous way of saying we have a meeting with Tree later Tay."

Taylor smiled. "You love me really."  Before hanging up the phone and jumping up and down again, drowning in the lavender haze.

That's why they call me Lolita
When I get down I'm Bonita

Lana del Rey - Taco Truck

Chapter Text

We're still young

We don't know where we're going 

But we know where we belong

Harry styles - sweet creature

Taylor sat over the phone, running her finger over the analog dial over and over, contemplating calling the actress.  

She could feel her insecurities bubbling up in her chest at the thought of the woman. She might not answer, the number might not even be real. Taylor quickly caught herself. That was ridiculous, if Eva hadn't wanted to see her she could've left without saying anything, there was no need to leave a fake number.  

The singer held her breath and entered the number, immediately glad that it connected. She waited impatiently, listening to each ring as they came and went. 

She tapped on her thigh in time with the ringing, hoping that she would hear the voice of the brunette on the other side of the line. 

Just as she was about to give up,  the ringing stopped. 

"Hello? Who's this?" Her voice sounded like music in Taylor's ears. She pulled the phone away and silently jumped up and down, taking a moment to breathe deeply before replying.

"Hey, it's Taylor. You left your number on that note for me." Taylor schooled herself, making a conscious effort to appear as nonchalant as possible. 

"Oh, hi. Yeah I'm sorry I left, I kind of had a lot to think about. Then there was work of course too." Eva apologised, feeling similarly to the blonde.

"No no worries, I understand. It was pretty intense last night, I don't know what came over me? I should've held back a little more. But for what it's worth, I absolutely loved spending time with you, and if you enjoyed it too, I'd like to spend more time with you soon." Once again Taylor could feel herself rambling, but was in no position to correct herself, word vomiting into the phone.

Eva laughed, more of a giggle really. "It's definitely a lot for me to be thinking about. Bu I have... been thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that, I would really like to see you again, maybe in a more... casual setting. You've really left an impression on me." Eva could feel herself falling hard for the mysterious blonde. 

"I would absolutely love that, and again, I'm sorry for how quickly things moved yesterday, I know that isn't really your style."

Eva shook her head, and then realised that Taylor couldn't see her. "Like I said, you weren't the only desperate one. Let's just say no wine this time. How about we meet for coffee? I know this amazing place of 5th Avenue." Eva made the offer in an attempt to balance out the playing field, since last time Taylor had invited her out. 

Taylor agreed without a second thought. "That sounds amazing, I'm absolutely there. How about 2pm?" 

Eva confirmed the time, giddy with excitement. This felt like the first date she had ever been on. 

"I'll see you tomorrow then. I can't wait." Taylor spoke softly, the last sentence drifting off so quietly that Eva barely heard her. 

"See you." Eva returned. Neither of them wanted to hang up first, and so there was a short silence, before the brunette finally hung up the phone. 

Taylor headed over to the kitchen, making herself a coffee. She checked the clock on her wall, aware that soon Henry and Tree would be arriving for a briefing before they headed to a joint team meeting. 

She padded over to the coffee machine, watching as the liquid dropped slowly into the jug, and then pouring it out carefully into her mug. The blonde then reached for the creamer in the fridge and went to add some into her drink, but stopped, catching herself.  Taylor knew she would exceed her calorie limit for the day if she added the sweetened cream in. And so she drank the black coffee, cringing at it's bitterness. 

Not long after, the doorbell rang and Taylor peeped through the looking hole to see Tree waiting by her door. 

"Morning, it seems like we have some talking to do. Has Henry arrived yet? Nevermind why would I even ask? That man has never been on time in his life." 

Taylor stepped back to let Tree in

"He once told me that he does it on purpose, that he thinks being exactly five minutes late makes people... something or other. All I remember is that he always makes sure to  be five minutes late. Anyways.. what did you need to talk to me about?"

Tree put her handbag on the coat rack and walked straight through to the living room, Taylor trailing behind her. She sat herself down on the couch and layed out a few sets of paperwork. 

"You seriously can't think of what I might be wanting to talk to you about?" She asked Taylor without looking up, knowing that the blonde would be standing behind her. 

"He told you already? Fucking traitor." Taylor wasn't entirely surprised that Tree had contacted Henry for updates. Her team had been using him to keep tabs on her since they got married, mostly out of necessity as Taylor had gotten into the habit of lying blatantly to her entire management and publicity team, resulting in a few disastrous scandals. 

Tree was clearly unfazed by Taylor's discontent. "Don't make me seem like the bad guy here Taylor, It's my job to keep an eye on you, god knows your parents made a mess of it the first time round. On that note, are you eating enough? I know Paul has been pushing that ridiculous Atkins diet, but honestly, you look like one of those heroin girls, you're so thin I could floss with you." As per usual, Tree talked without leaving a space for Taylor to answer, a tactic she had learned from Taylor's constant complaints. 

"I love you too, Tree. I'm taking great care of myself, I promise. Now can we please get back to the fact that you are still spying on me, I could get a restraining order. I'm twenty five for christ's sake. Why would you even want to know about my sex life? It's getting creepy." The singer was fully aware of how difficut she was being, Tree had saved her ass many many times, and at this point she really couldn't be trusted to handle these things by herself. 

"I'm well within my lane here. My understanding is that you met a random woman at the Vanity Fair afterparty, invited her to your house, and then slept with her, before allowing her to vanish into the night. That contradicts just about everything we have told you to do in order to keep yourself safe. What's stopping this woman from turning around and telling every tabloid who cares that you're cheating on your husband in a lesbian affair? Or what if she was some crazy stalker who killed you in your sleep." Tree kept her tone calm, but was clearly feeling frustrated with the blonde.

"Are you sure you aren't my real mom? Did you give me up at birth and take this job just so you could keep an eye on me? Look, she didn't even know my name. And that's not what happened at all. Her name is Eva, I invited her for dinner and we got carried away, she stayed the night and I have her number. I'm going for coffee with her in a few days." Taylor found herself looking at the floor, as she often did when saying something that made her feel vulnerable. 

Tree softened as Taylor's genuine admission. "That's very sweet and I'm glad that you're finally moving on. But I'm afraid you know what I'm going to say." 

"You need to do a background check and have her sign an NDA. Well the good news is you won't find anything, she's a little older than me but she only just got famous, her parents are australian but she grew up in Brooklyn and she's a good catholic girl being corrupted by the evil rock and roll celebrity." Taylor gestured to herself sarcastically. 

"Sit down young lady. you're difficult as it is without becoming a 'rock and roll celebrity'"

Tree laughed at Taylor's childishness. 

At that moment the door opened. "Honey! I'm home!" Henry called out as he found Taylor and Tree in the living room. 

He bent down to kiss Taylor's cheek, feeling that kissing her lips was far too domestic  for two people who had just had sex with someone else. 

"How are you doing my darling?" Henry asked. 

When nobody replied Taylor looked up from her coffee cup. "He means you. "

Tree chuckled. "I'm very well thank you. I was just talking to your lovely wife about her new love interest."

Henry nodded in understanding. "We'd better head off. Scott will be expecting us soon. 

The women nodded, following Henry towards the door and hopping into seperate cars, Tree in her own and Henry and Taylor into Taylor's, driven by her security. 

They arrived in the conference room not long after, greeted by around 10 men and women seated at the mile long table, with Scott at the head. "If it isn't my favourite couple, have a seat." 

On the other side of town, Eva sat on her bed with her best friend Maja, updating her on the events of the last two days. "You won't believe what happened at the after party I went to." She blurted, mouth full of chips. 

Maja sat up to face her. "You mean there's more?! As if getting invited to one of the biggest celebrity events of the year wasn't enough. Now you're telling me there's more?!" 

Eva nodded erratically. "So I was kinda out of my depth right? Like hanging around the bar not sure who to talk to. Then I saw this guy, he was by himself and looked pretty attractive, so I went over to chat to him."

"No way. What was his name? I bet he was super famous. Did you fuck a celebrity?" 

Maja retorded, fully engrossed in the story. 

"Well, I went over to talk to him, and he was like pretty fine, kind of snarky, and we talked for a little while. Then suddenly his wife shows up-"

"No way!"

"Yeah. and she was acting all weird so he said they needed to leave, but before she went she handed me a piece of paper with her address on it and told me to meet her late for a party."

Maja was thoroghly confused, the expression on her face perfectly reflecting how Eva had felt. 

"- and for some reason I went. When I got there, there was no music or lights or people. i straight up thought she was gonna kill me for flirting with her husband. But she opened the door and invited me in for dinner. We were literally the only ones there."

"What the actual fuck?" Her friend retorted.

"We talked and ate and she played me this song. It was so sweet. Then, before I knew what was happening we were making out-"

"Eva Mary Marlow are you shitting me right now?! Why didn't you call me straight away?" Maja threw a pillow at her.

"And then, we had sex. It was the best sex I have ever had and now I think I might be gay and it's just a lot and I'm seeing her in a few days." Eva suddenly felt overwhelmed. She had thought that she came to terms with everything, but clearly that wasn't the case, as she began to tear up. 

Maja quickly jumped over to comfort her friend. "Oh honey it's alright. It's really not a big deal. Just do whatever's going to make you happy."

Eva shrugged. "She's so sweet but also really strange. When I first met her at the party, she was so seductive and unapologetic, but when I went over she looked so adorable and small and I-... well she was actually probably quite tall, like 5'10."

Maja then realised that she had neglected to ask who this mystery celebrity actually was. "Hold on. What was her name?"

The actress turned to look at her friend, blushing profusely. "Taylor. Taylor swift."

We're still young

We don't know where we're going 

But we know where we belong

Harry styles - sweet creature

<3

Chapter Text

And you like that bear till the class come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And there's nothing like a mad woman

Taylor Swift - Mad woman

Taylor sat at the glass conference table, surrounded by members of both her and Henry's teams. She was technically the boss of the meeting, but sat at the end of the table, facing a series of men at its head, she couldn't feel further from it.

So she sat hunched over, resting her head in her hands, and her cheek squashed against the glass.

The singer had long since tuned out all the muttering around her, instead watching as her breaths condensed on the glass, before fading away and being replaced by another.

"Taylor? Taylor. Taylor. Tay!" Her head shot up to see Tree and Henry both calling for her attention.

"Sorry, I zoned out a little there." She turned to see several men rolling their eyes at her.

"We were just discussing public relations. Everyone is extremely pleased with the public reception to your wedding." Scott spoke up.

"Right. Well we're doing really great, married life is wonderful. Thank you so much for asking." Taylor scoffed, beyond tired of having to deal with them.

Henry reached over to touch her back, both an indication that she should stop being stubborn, and an act of support for her.

"Taylor you need to start taking things more seriously. At this rate you can wave goodbye to your career. Not everything is about you. By being so dismissive if everyone's hard work to create your brand, you are disrespecting all of us and Henry." Scott scolded her from the opposite end of the table.

"Look don't go berating me. I'm listening." Taylor sat up straight, facing him head on.

"Okay. So everything has been very successful so far, we have all but removed any trace of last year's PR disaster.  The tabloids are really investing in you two as a couple, is great PR. And so we have a new plan for a character that you can really lean into in the coming year."

Taylor scowled at him, seeing where this was going. "Because it would be absolutely insane if I tried to be like... oh I don't know... me?"

"You need to understand that 'you' wouldn't cut it. No, it's bigger than that. You're a train-wreck.  So I'm proposing we really lean into this aesthetic that we introduced over the last year. The bull of your southern Baptist audience from your early days has been replaced with a younger, more hip audience. They're absolutely eating up this more mature, sultry vibe, and your relationship together is really helping to solidify that."

Taylor could see exactly where this was going. "This makes absolutely no sense. The real me can't be shown to people because I'm too bland, so you've created this wild party girl thing for me. But then you have to tone down the other side of me because apparently it's unthinkable that I might want to date women." She could feel herself getting frustrated, a fire rising in the blonde's chest and tears beginning to fill her eyes.

The air in the room seemed to be sucked out, everyone staring into Taylor's eyes.
"I thought we were past this Taylor. This is highly inappropriate."

She sunk into her chair, looking at her hands squirming under the glass.  Tree debated whether or not to intervene and give Taylor a moment to calm down, but she didn't feel that it would help.

"Now if I may continue uninterrupted, we have curated a dynamic for you two which will require some publicity stunts, and the involvement of paparazzi. It's a kind of carefree dynamic duo thing."

Tree furrowed her brows,  not understanding how this could possibly help Taylor's image.

"Do you want to make her seem like she's gone off the rails or something?" The publicist questioned.

"No no, nothing like that. Like a bonnie and Clyde young love. They will continue to support each-other in public events, we will stage some paparazzi shots, of you both in love, and the occasional stunt or false story. This will help to drum up attention for Henry's latest project and your new album." Clearly her manager was proud of his plan, as he sat smugly and waited for a response.

"Why don't I just sell my soul while I'm at it?" Taylor muttered to herself, causing only Henry to hear, laughing slightly.

"Do you have something to add Mr.Slater?"  Scott inquired, clearly not interested in his answer.

"Not at all. This all seems perfectly reasonable to me. " He swirled around in his swivel chair, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

Tree stood up, keen to end the uncomfortable silenced "So not that that's all settled, why don't we all head home? I think we're done for the day."

Everyone grumbled in agreement, and slowly they all filtered out of the conference room. Leaving Taylor, Tree and Scott behind.

"Are you feeling alright?" Tree brushed Taylor's bangs to the side, looking at the singer carefully.

"I'm alright. Mostly pissed off." Taylor huffed, sincerely appreciating Tree's care for her wellbeing.

"Okay we'll just call if you need someone to talk to. I'm sure Henry is incredibly emotionally intelligent, but I'm always here." She joked to lighten the mood before exiting the room.

Once she had left, Taylor turned to face Scott, her label owner and manager.

"What do you want?" She flopped into a chair in the corner of the room, looking up at Scott.

"We need to talk. I'm seriously disappointed with your behaviour." His patronising tone echoed in the empty room.

Taylor, beyond tired of his mistreatment of her, responded. "I don't know when your pay check started frying your fucking brain cells, but you are way out of line. I'm not your pet or child or slave to be ordered around all damn day."

He deflated a little. "Look I'm only trying to help you. I'm seriously concerned that if you continue behaving like this your going to loose everything."

Taylor bristled at his choice of wording. "Are you saying what I think you're saying? Because if you Just threatened me you would be in some really dangerous water here."

"I don't know when this big and scary Taylor persona appeared, but I don't like her one bit. I gave you this career, and I could take it away just as fast. You are going to stop all this bullshit."

Taylor tried to jump in, raising to her feet so that she stood above him. "You're fired."

He laughed in her face. "Listen here dyke. You've signed the contracts, I owned all your music, your whole brand. All you have to do, is play the game. So right now you're going to talk out of here with your head held high, and you're never going to cause me this trouble ever again."

The singer gritted her teeth, debating whether to throw him in his ass and beat the shit out of him. She envisioned Scott spitting blood as her knuckles rammed his face, but thought better of it. So with gritted teeth, and a tear rolling down her cheek, Taylor left the room.

She lifted her sleeve to her face, harshly wiping the tear on her cheek before taking the stairs.

The singer left the building, hardly aware of the rain pouring down. She saw her car on the far side of the car park, and slowly walked over, dragging her feet behind.

Eventually Taylor reached her car, soaking wet, and got in. A she slid into her seat beside Henry, who had been waiting and wore a concerned look.

"What was that about?" He asked, scanning her face to try and source what was wrong.

"Scott being a dick. Let's just go home." The blonde sulked as she leant her head against Henry's shoulder, staring out the window at the rain.

Meanwhile, Eva was rushing around her room trying to get ready for her date. When she heard a knock on the door. Not having expected anyone, the actress tiptoed down the stairs and looked through the peeping hole.

She was ecstatic to see her dad standing in the rain outside, and so she swung the door open and launched at him. "Dad!"

He laughed, catching her with one arm. "Honey you're a little big for me to be picking you up like this. Never mind, you're my 26 year old little girl."

Eva stepped back to let him in. "It's great to see you. But why the surprise?" She asked, knowing he only lived half an hour away.

"We'll two reasons. Firstly, there's no one else I would like to spend this Saturday morning with, and my oven broke, so I'm hooking we could cook something up here." He grinned, soft laugh lines creasing his face.

"Of course. I was planning on having some chicken stir fry, so I'd love some help." She led the way as they walked to the kitchen.

They are together in a comfortable silence until her father, Peter, asked a question. "So, is there anything new lately? I seem to remember you had a few cool events last week."

Eva cleared her throat and took a sip of water, unsure whether to broach the topic. She knew her father had never really been a devout Christian, and in past conversations he seemed relatively neutral on the topic of gay rights.

"Well, there is something." She smirked, eating another mouthful of dinner.

"Go on." He replied without looking up.

"I actually have a date tomorrow, it's a coffee thing, nothing fancy but... yeah."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "That's exciting. Have you met him before?"

Eva would feel the heat rising in her cheeks a little.
"It's umm. It's not a guy. Her name is Taylor"

He dropped his fork, causing it to clatter into the plate with a loud sound. "Oh."

"Is that okay?" She asked, looking for any indication that her father disapproved.

"That's fine by me. As long as you're happy and healthy, I'm happy." He got up from the table and went over to hug his daughter, kissing her on the forehead.

Eva nodded, relieved at her father's response:
"So what are you thinking of wearing?"

They went up to her bedroom and Eva tried on a few outfits, listening to her fathers clueless feedback.

Once they had gone through half of Eva's wardrobe,  and were tired out from the meal, the actress and her father sat down on the sofa to watch TV.

"What do you think Mum would say? If I had told her what I just told you."  Eva looked over.

Her father took a moment to think through what she had asked him, and answered honestly.
"I don't know exactly what she would have said. But I can promise you she would have loved you regardless, she wanted the absolute world for you my love, and I will do my best every day to make sure that's what you'll get."

He wasn't usually an emotional person, rather more of a joker, so his honesty touched Eva.

"Aww dad that's so sweet. I'm so glad I've got you."
He patted her shoulder lightly, laughing at their sappy conversation.

At the same time, Taylor sat hunched over the piano, writing down the endless words that flowed at the thought of the brunette.

And you like that bear till the class come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And there's nothing like a mad woman

Taylor Swift - Mad woman

Chapter Text

I'm so in love that I might stop breathing
Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling
No, I didn't see the news
'Cause we were somewhere else

Taylor swift - Paris

Taylor  arrived at the cafe Eva had recommended a couple minutes early, as a result of her own eagerness.

She wore a light sundress, patterned with pale blue patterns. Her hair was down and lightly curled, and she wore only simple makeup, mascara and lipgloss.

The singer walked up to the door of the cafe, admiring its picturesque decor and the wisteria that hung above it.  She peeped through the glass door and was surprised to see Eva sitting waiting for her at a table near the back.

She was surprised that Eva had gotten there even earlier than her.  Taking a moment to calm her nerves, she took a deep breath and opened the door, hearing the bell ring as she did so.

Her eyes caught Eva's on the other side of the room, causing the actress to stand up.
"Hey." Taylor smiled softly, before bringing Eva close to her in a tight hug.

She took note of the way that the actress smelt of vanilla as she pulled away, blushing.

"Hi." Eva replied. "What would you like to eat?" She sat down and handed Taylor a paper menu.

Taylor swallowed thickly, trying to convince herself that it wasn't a big deal, and she should order whatever she wanted. It was a special occasion after all.

"Sure, I'd love a coffee, and maybe the chicken pesto wrap?" When she looked up Eva was smiling back at her, not judging her food choice as she had feared the older girl would.

Eva nodded. "For sure, that sounds great. You just wait here while I go and order." She brushed Taylor's hand lightly before heading to the counter to order their food, returning not long after with two drinks and two plates of food on a tray.

"Here we are. The food here is amazing." Eva assured Taylor as she set down the food before taking a seat herself.

Taylor smiled, barely paying attention to what Eva had said, as she was far too busy admiring her smile.

"That's great, thank you." They sat in relative silence  at first, eating their respective lunch.

"So, I'd love to learn a little more about you.  What made you want to be an actor?" Taylor asked, still chewing on her wrap.

Eva cleared her throat. "I'm not exactly sure to be honest, I was in theatre a lot as a kid.  I was ever much of a risk taker, and my parents didn't have loads of money to put me into a performing arts school, so I studied drama all through school, and I majored in theatre studies at NYU. It was all pretty relaxed really, but I wanted to really be qualified before I went out into the world of work. That meant that I didn't actually start looking for jobs until I was 22, and I did a few small things, working my way up. Eventually I managed to get this role in Alicante, just through a lot of auditions and sweet talking.  Now I'm here. I love my job, but suddenly becoming so famous has been really intense. I have no idea how you keep so together all the time."

Taylor, who had been completely engrossed in Eva's story, laughed at her last comment. "That's really amazing. But I'm definitely not 'together'. I'm super chaotic.  Anyways, we're your parents supportive of your career?"

Eva nodded. "Yeah they've been great. My dad especially, since my mom died, we've gotten really close and he's super supportive. He actually came over last night and helped me pick out this outfit for our date."

Taylor raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Wow, so he knows you're here with me right now?"

"Yeah, I'll admit I was nervous to tell him, and I'm sure it wasn't his best case scenario that I'd be wanting to go out with women, but he took it really well." The brunette shrugged, before gesturing to Taylor.  "What about you? What are your parents like."

Taylor scoffed. "They're foul. Really horrible people."

The woman opposite her frowned in response "oh, well you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

But Taylor continued anyway. "No it's totally fine. They were kind of dismissive of my career, but they pushed me into making Christian music when I was a lot younger. All super weird stuff. They are finance people, so pretty rich, and they sent me to private school. When I was 14 they caught me kissing one of my friends that I had over for a sleepover, and they kicked me out for a couple days. Eventually the police found me and brought me home, and they pretended I had gotten lost.  They are just general assholes. The last time I saw them they said I was a disgrace and they were ashamed of me. I had made the mistake of trying to introduce them to my girlfriend at the time. She ran off crying so that went well.  To be honest, I think it is probably just a result of growing up in Tennessee, my label owner is the same. I think sometimes we just live in this bubble, and it's really easy to think that everyone's okay with gay people. But that's just not the case."

Eva felt awful for Taylor, she could see that this was something she had been dealing with for a really long time, and she resented herself for having reservations about the whole thing when they first met. "There's nothing wrong with what you want at all, look at me, I'm ready to dive head first into your world."

Taylor shrugged. "That's really sweet of you. Unfortunately that's not the world we live in. I don't want to put you through unnecessary pain. The world health organisation still classes homosexuality as a 'sexual deviation' and a 'personality disorder'." She held Eva's hand "So if this is what you want, then we can pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist, but if not I'll understand."

Eva squeezed Taylor's hand tightly. "I'm all in."

They smiled widely at each-other, before Taylor decided a change of topic was needed.

"What's your favourite show? I watch loads of  TV, and read a lot of books too, and I love cooking, and board games. I think I'm just an all rounder really. I like everything."

Eva smiled back at her. "Umm... I really like Seinfeld, and law and order. But I really love films, my favourite from last year was pretty woman."

Taylor mumbles something to herself and blushes, trying to hide it by wiping her lip with a napkin.

"What was that?" Eva smirked.

"No nothing." Taylor tried to hide her laughter but the woman across from her wasn't giving in. "I just said you're a pretty woman." Taylor muttered.

Eva made a mock flattered gesture "oh well aren't you a flirt?"

She had expected Taylor to respond sarcastically, but instead of seeing her usual smirk, Taylor's face dropped.

Before she could ask her what was wrong, Taylor dramatically dropped and hid under the table.

"What the hell are you doing?" Eva asked her. "What's wrong? Should I join you?"

Since Taylor didn't reply, Eva pushed her chair to the side and went down to join Taylor under the table.

"Why are we hiding?" The actress asked.

Taylor was looking up at the glass windows, staring intently. "It's Greg!" She whispered.

Eva was acutely aware of the many people who had turned to look at them, and wondered whether it may be a problem considering how famous her date was.

Eva nodded, but wasn't sure if she really understood. "Who's Greg?"

Taylor rose a little out of her seat, peeped up and then ducked back down. "He's my security guard. It's super unnecessary, but he was first employed when I was 18 and got suddenly famous. Nowadays I don't think he's really needed, so I told him I was going shopping and ran off."

Eva looked over at Taylor, suddenly feeling like she was on a date with a 5'10" child.  "I think we may be causing a scene."

Taylor rolled her eyes. "Live a little."

Unfortunately, as they talked, Greg had seen Taylor through the window, and had entered the cafe.
Realising that she had been caught, Taylor rose back to her chair, pretending nothing had happened.

"Oh, hi Greg, how are you? I think I lost you for a while back there." She tugged on Eva's sleeve to bring her back up to the table too.

Greg didn't respond, or even remove his sunglasses, opting instead to sit down at the table next to them.

"Do you see why I tried to run earlier? This-" she gestured to Greg. "Kinda dampens the mood."

Eva shrugged. "It's alright. Your safety comes first."

But Taylor was clearly not convinced, as she looked around for an escape.

"Mrs Swift, please don't." He warned.

But before he could do anything else, Taylor grabbed Eva's hand, giving her a quick wink before launching out of the cafe and down the street.
Rain was pouring down, soaking both of their clothes and hair as they sprinted down the empty street hand in hand.

Taylor turned to look at Eva, grinning from ear to ear as they raced through the street. Taylor's heels splashed through several puddles, causing the small droplets of water to flock into the back of her legs.

After a few minutes her Hegel got caught in the crack between the cobblestones. They stopped and Taylor took off her shoes, leaving her barefoot, tiptoeing over the stones.  They took a moment to look at each-other, and burst out laughing, Taylor's arms draped over her shoulders.

They kept going until the pair reached a park gate, shrugging before racing through. Quickly though, Taylor's feet began to hurt on the sharp stones, causing her to let out a few short whines of protest.

Eva looked over, judging that Taylor was quite thin and probably didn't weigh much, before she reached under Taylor's thighs and picked her up, carrying her bridal style to the nearest shelter, which happened to be a bench under a great oak tree, in the centre of the park.

Once they reached it, Eva carefully laid Taylor down on the bench, looking down at her as she wiped off the water that dripped down her forehead and cheeks.  The rain having cleared out any other people, they were left alone under the tree.

Eva sat down beside Taylor, lifting her thumb to stroke Taylor's cheek, a gesture that caused Taylor to lean in even closer.

She bit her lip, eyes looking up into Eva's before down to her lips a few times. Eventually the brunette must have gotten the memo, as she leaned in close, her hand on the back of Taylor's neck, and pulled the blonde in for a kiss.

Taylor quickly took the opportunity to straddle the brunette, sitting in her lap and touching their bodies together. Taylor's soaked dress stuck to Eva, turning slightly sheer in the process and allowing for Eva to feel the curves of Taylor's body on top of her.

The girls grinned into the kiss, causing their teeth to bump against each other . Eva moved her hands to the side of Taylor's face in order to deepen the kiss, sliding her tongue into the parting between Taylor's lips.

Taylor let out a soft moan in response and opened her mouth wider, bringing her own tongue into the mix.

Despite the cold weather and pouring rain, the pair felt incredibly heated, touching one another desperately.  Eva placed her hands under Taylor's ass in order to pick her up,  standing and swinging her round.

They spun in a circle, Taylor leaning back and laughing loudly. "Oh my god this is the best day ever!" She screamed into the wind.

Eva stopped spinning and set Taylor down, admiring the dripping blonde.

"I think we'd better get back to your car. Poor Greg is still out there somewhere." She reminded Taylor.

As though he had heard her call, Greg finally appeared through the rain, walking up to the large oak and smiling at Taylor.

"Are you ready to head back to the car?" She asked, taking note of the blonde's lack of appropriate footwear.

Taylor nodded fervently. "How about a hot chocolate at mine?"

I'm so in love that I might stop breathing
Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling
No, I didn't see the news
'Cause we were somewhere else

Taylor swift - Paris

Chapter Text

I loved you in secret

First sight, yeah we loved without reason

Oh twenty-five years old 

Oh how we're you to know?

Taylor swift - Dancing with our hands tied

They sat in the car together on the way home. Taylor caught a glimpse of herself in the wing mirror of the car. Her mascara was running down her cheeks, leaving blackened trails that she smeared with the back of her hand. Her hair was dripping too, with a steady stream of drops cascading down her shoulders and onto her dress, which in turn soaked the car seat. Her dress itself had turned sheer with the water and stuck to the curves of her frame. The result was an emphasised outline of her breasts and hips. 

She turned to look at Eva, whose jeans and shirt were equally wet. They looked into one another's eyes for a split second before both girls burst out laughing again, high on the endorphins from their kiss. 

Once the laughter had died down they sat in silence once again, smiling softly. Without looking over at her, Eva reached over for Taylor's hand. At first, she just touched Taylor's thumb with hers softly, but after a moment, she laced her own hand with Taylor's, squeezing twice.  

Upon arriving, Taylor led Eva through the double doors of her Townhouse, and upstairs into her and Henry's bedroom. It would be untrue to suggest that the sight of his clothing and personal items all over the room didn't make her jealous. But they continued into the ensuite and Taylor turned on the shower, instructing Eva to take a seat on the bathtub. 

"Hold on while I get some fresh clothes and towels." She prompted, rushing off to her walk-in wardrobe. 

Eva took a moment to take in just how incredible Taylor's bathroom was. Her shower was so big it could probably fit five people comfortably, it featured a rain shower head and the walls were all a deep green marble, laced with pearly white inflexions. The taps too were embellished with pearl and gold and the bathtub which stood in the far corner of the room was freestanding, propped up on novel white feet. It was a room that could only belong to the richest of people, drowning in luxury. 

By the time she had taken it all in, Taylor had returned, a goofy smile on her face. "It's completely up to you whether you'd like to shower together or by yourself. I understand it's probably best to take things slow at first." 

The brunette took a moment to contemplate her options, considering the benefits of waiting a while longer to do anything intimate like that.

However, all thought was put on hold as she saw Taylor beginning to undress, unlacing the back and allowing the shoulders to slip off. The actress had to make a conscious effort not to drool at the sight of her. She had never thought that femininity was something she found attractive before meeting Taylor, but ever since the night they met, Taylor's soft curves have become her drug. 

Eva walked up to Taylor from behind, placing her hands on the shorter girl's waist and nibbling on her neck. "As much as taking things slow sounds like the grownup thing to do, you are simply way too stunning for me to turn down the opportunity."

Taylor spun around and placed her arms over Eva's shoulders, kissing her passionately. "Oh, I was really hoping you'd say that. She smirked before sliding her hands down to unbutton Eva's jeans. 

The taller girl helped her to pull off the soaked clothing before moving on to Taylor, hooking her fingers under the blonde's dress and pulling it down. She walked round to Taylor's back and undid her bra before sliding off her underwear too. She then grabbed her hand and pulled her under the water. 

They used the soap to wash one another, paying far more attention to the more sensitive areas and taking many many breaks to make out in between. 

Eventually, Taylor felt that they had gotten clean enough, as her fingers began to prune, and so they turned off the water and dried off, before changing into the dressing gowns that Taylor had put out. 

Several hours later, Taylor and Eva sat Huddled up on the sofa, having binged half of Disney's catalogue. They had gotten up to one hundred and one dalmatians when Taylor's phone rang, causing her to reach across Eva's lap and check the caller ID. 

The younger girl frowned. "It's Tree."

Eva, whose head had been leaning against Taylor's shoulder, looked up. "What's Tree? I'm assuming you don't mean the plant." 

Taylor shook her head, laughing internally at Tree for having such a ridiculous name. "She's my publicist. Tree is very unorthodox and quite intense, but she has stuck by me come hell or high water and she's the best in the business." 

She stared at the ringing phone, hoping that the call might be cancelled and she could cuddle back up with Eva.

"You aren't going to answer?" Eva questioned, confused by Taylor's response. 

The blonde shrugged. "She's also a pain in the ass and if it's bad news I'm really not in the mood." She got up to take the call. 

Eva Admired the blonde as she did so, trying to commit every detail of her appearance to memory. The way she brought her thumb to her lip and the way her blonde locks began to curl softly as they dried, the way that her eyes shone whenever they made eye contact. 

After a few moments, Taylor finally answered. "Hey Tree, I'm kind of busy, is it urgent?" She asked. 

The publicist replied quickly, a smile evident through her tone. "Is she with you? If so, that's brilliant. Oh, are you decent?" 

Taylor blushed furiously. "Yes yes. We're watching TV. Please, what's going on?"She huffed.

"Well it concerns you both but don't worry too much, I've sorted most of it out already." Tree could hear the urgency in Taylor's voice but made the decision to ignore it.

"Well I think it can wait until tomorrow then, we're really busy ri-" 

At that moment, Taylor was cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing, she sighed loudly. 

"I swear to god Tree." 

The blonde turned to apologise to EVa but was waved off. "No worries. It's probably quite important." 

So Taylor dragged herself towards the door, grumbling the whole way there. 

As expected, she was met with the sight of the red-headed publicist, standing under a black umbrella at her doorstep. "I see you've gotten cosy." She pointed out, gesturing dryly to the fluffy white robe and slippers Taylor was wearing. 

"This is really a bad time." She whined, trailing behind Tree as she headed for the living room. 

"On the contrary, I think this is the perfect time. We need to have a meeting and since you two thought it was a brilliant idea to go charging through the streets of New York holding hands at 11 o'clock in the morning, I believe we need to have a conversation."

"I didn't think anyone was around." Eva apologised, unsure whether she was in trouble with the scary redhead. 

Tree turned to her and smiled apologetically. "It's not your fault at all, you're still new to all this. Taylor knows better. Besides, I can scold you as much as I like but at the end of the day, it's your life, I'm just here to look out for you both." 

"Both?" Eva questioned. 

Tree looked interrogatively between the pair, softening her tone a little. "I apologise, I should've started with this. Is this something that you are interested in moving forward with? I know you might not have spoken about it yet but I need to know if this is a short-term thing or if I should plan to keep this hidden in the long term." 

Taylor and Eva looked at each other, exchanging a fearful glance. "Do you? Do you want this?" Taylor asked. 

Eva nodded softly. "This is the weirdest first date I've ever had, and it feels early to be making a commitment, but I definitely want to try." 

Tree smiled back. "That's all I need. In that case, let me explain what's happened so far and what we need to be doing in the future. So today there were a few grainy photos of you both, one in which you were running down the street, and another in which EVa was carrying you through the grass. The subsequent articles were suggestive but not explicit accusations. I have released a statement as an anonymous source saying you are close friends and that you had great fun on a girls' day in the rain after Henry dropped you off. I also leaked a few honeymoon pictures of you and Henry to offset the attention. It was a minor blip, nothing we haven't seen before. As for the future, I don't expect you to hide when you see each other, just no PDA in public, and keep Henry around now and then."

The girls were sat side by side, Eva's arm around Taylor's waist and Taylor's hands in her lap. They nodded, listening intently to take in all the information that Tree was giving. 

"That's not all." She paused, reaching into her bag and pulling out two stacks of paperwork.

"Oh hell no. No way" Taylor interrupted, rapidly losing her composure. 

Eva grabbed onto her arm, pulling the smaller girl back into her seat. "It's okay, I understand." 

"This is in no way suggesting that I don't trust you Eva, I'm sure you are a genuine person, but I recommend you both sign this, to protect each other. These are non-disclosure agreements, they day that neither of you will share information about your relationship with anyone outside of an agreed list of people." Tree informed them as both girls flicked through the pages of the contract. 

Eva bit her lip, concerned. "What if I already have?" She asked. 

Tree winced slightly. "Can I ask who you've told about your relationship with Taylor?"

Eva nodded. "Yeah, just my best friend and my dad. Will they have to sign contracts as well?" 

Taylor scowled at the papers. "No, that's completely unreasonable. I don't want her to feel ashamed of our relationship like it's some dirty secret. I trust that she wouldn't tell anyone that wouldn't be able to keep it private." 

Tree sighed in return. "Do you want this to be kept secret? Or do you want to come out? Because those are your options, Taylor, trying to go both ways will only result in a mess."

Eva jumped between the two women. "I'm sure I could speak to them, it's only fair. I don't see why they would have an issue. As long as you don't sue anyone." 

Tree tried to approach the topic carefully. "Well between me and you, I don't see any party involved wanting to sue your father if he let it slip, but it adds a level of clarity in what they are not to do." 

Eva understood the importance of this, and so followed the instructions of the contract, signing where she was instructed to. 

"I will send copies to Henry, your father and your friend, could you email me their details?" 

Taylor promised to send over the information and ushered Tree out. 

Once she had done so, she plopped down on the sofa and cuddled into Eva's side. "I'm so sorry. This is just my life at this point. If you want to run... now might be your best chance." 

Eva turned to look into Taylor's eyes. "I would tell you I'm here for the long run, but I think that's at least a third date conversation." She grinned wickedly, before pulling the blonde in for a kiss. 

They lay together for a while, powering through several more Disney films, which Taylor had memorised many of the lines to, saying them along with the characters. 

Eventually, they fell asleep, Eva's head on Taylor's chest as she took in soft breaths. Taylor had gotten her quilt a few hours previously, and so they were tightly wrapped up, damp hair and dressing gowns falling loosely around their bare skin. 

Several hours later, Eva found herself woken up. She turned around to look out the window, seeing that the sun was setting and the rain clouds had cleared, before she heard a noise, one which must have woken her up. 

She looked over at the younger girl lying under her, who was now recoiling in fear, writhing around under the covers. 

"Tay," Eva whispered, feeling that the blonde must be having a nightmare. But unfortunately, Taylor didn't wake up and instead continued to mutter and whine in her sleep.

"I'm sorry...... sorry..... Mom.. pl- please.... Stoooop.......reggie stop.... I'm sorry.... Please stop.... Di! I'm sorry." She repeated her apologies over and over, the people she was addressing changing repeatedly. 

Eva grabbed onto the hood of her robe carefully, shaking Taylor firmly enough that she had to wake several times. At first, the blonde cried out, but soon she woke, whimpering quietly. 

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Eva inquired, taking Taylor's jaw in her hand and looking her over. 

Taylor nodded fervently. "Fuck. I can't believe that happened. That's so embarrassing." Taylor frowned. She got up to pour herself a glass of water. 

"I'm sorry for waking you up. It's just, I forgot to take my melatonin before I fell asleep. I hope I didn't scare you" Taylor came back to the couch, pulling Eva into a hug. 

She shook her head. "No, of course not. I was just worried. Do you want to talk about it?" 

Taylor shook her head. "Not today, I  promise I will, but it's been a great day and I just want to enjoy your company a little longer." 

Eva conceded. "Alright, but if you feel like talking about it, don't hesitate to let me know. You aren't alone anymore." 

The blonde's eyes filled with tears as she leaned into Eva, seeking solace in her warmth.

I loved you in secret

First sight, yeah we loved without reason

Oh twenty five years old 

Oh how were you to know?

Taylor swift - Dancing with our hands tied

Chapter Text

Oh 

Be my once in a lifetime 

Lying on your chest 

I'm my party dress

I'm a fucking mess

Lana Del Rey - Love song

Wednesday 1st May 1991-

In order to soft launch a public friendship between Taylor and Eva, Tree organised for them to do a cover shoot and interview with Seventeen magazine.  It would be Eva's first ever cover and the girls were filled with nervous excitement about the chance to be together in public, even if it was as friends. 

As per usual, Eva woke up first that morning. She prepared to have to wake Taylor up, as otherwise, the blonde would likely have slept the entire day away. 

In order to put Taylor in as good of a mood as possible, she prepared some coffee and toast for Taylor and set it down on the bedside table, before leaning down to press a kiss on the blonde's forehead.

Eva thought Taylor looked like an angel as she slept. She seemed so pure, so divine, her golden locks and rosy cheeks as though she had been sculpted from Pygmalion's ivory. In Eva's mind, her beauty rivalled that of Aphrodite and Athena. 

"Sweetheart? It's time to wake up. We have to get to the cover shoot." She tapped on Taylor's shoulder lightly, but the younger girl didn't stir. 

Eva took a step back, ever surprised by how deep of a sleeper Taylor actually was. "Honey. You need to wake up. We have to leave in half an hour. I've made you breakfast." 

When Taylor still didn't wake, she decided to pull out the big guns. Climbing on top of the smaller girl, Eva put one hand on either side of Taylor's head and licked from her jaw to her cheek. 

"What... the fuck?" Taylor frowned, wiping her cheek and shoving Eva onto the floor without opening her eyes. 

Eva fell off the bed with an unceremonious thud, and groaned slightly. "Babe, ouch. You can't attack me, I'm your fellow model." 

Taylor grunted. "What? Bab- honey what's going on? What time is it?" 

Eva giggled and went to kiss Taylor's lips. "It's 7:30, we need to be at the photo shoot in an hour. I'm sorry but you need to wake up." She softly stroked Taylor's bangs and passed her the warm black coffee, remembering how Taylor always liked to have it.

"Oh, alright I suppose that's okay then." Taylor conceded, nodding and sliding out of bed.

She plodded over to the ensuite like a baby bird, barely aware of her movements and mostly just charging towards her destination. 

Once they had both gotten dressed and were on their way to the photo shoot, Eva relaxed a little, taking Taylor's hand in her own and giving it two squeezes. "Are you feeling alright?" She inquired, ever conscious of Taylor's well-being. 

The blonde nodded affirmatively. "I'm just fine love." She squeezed twice back. 

Greg, who had received an apology in the form of homemade cookies and a card after last month's debacle, glanced over at the two girls in the wing mirror, smiling. He too was grateful for Eva's presence in Taylor's life, aware that she had been quite lonely before meeting Eva.  

Taylor had decided not to put in makeup since she knew there would be a makeup artist there that would just wipe off all of her existing makeup if she did.  

The blonde looked out of the window, watching the city of New York as they passed. There were many people on their way to work, as she was, but unlike her, they weren't being chauffeured around to get styled and stand in front of a camera. She sometimes forgot how insane her position was, how lucky she was. While the interns walked across the street in well-pressed suits, to be worked to death in their law firms, she was off to be paid $3,000 to get pampered. 

"What are you thinking about angel?" Eva asked Taylor, placing her fingers under the blonde's chin and pulling her face towards herself. 

Taylor shrugged. "Just how lucky we are. Like it's insane that this is my life, that I get to do stuff like this. And I'm so so so glad that now I have you there with me, that we can go through this together."!

Eva poured at Taylor's comment, finding the shorter girl to be immensely adorable with her morning voice and big thoughts. "I'm glad I have you too sweetheart."

After twenty minutes stuck in traffic, they arrived at the studio, going first to hair and makeup where they sat side by side.  

The direction of the shoot was vintage, there were pictures stuck to the mirrors for inspiration. The stylist explained that they had intended for Taylor to be somewhat of a black swan, a femme fatale, while Eva would be a softer, damsel type. He said that his inspiration was Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla, in which there is a fascinating friendship between the vampire Carmilla and the damsel Laura, who falls prey to her. However, they wanted to remove some of the gothic elements and merge it with an early twentieth-century setting.

Taylor had to stop herself from bursting out laughing, she had actually read Carmilla, in fact, it was her favourite gothic novel, because it was a blatant story of a lesbian love affair, while it may have originally been a cautionary tale surrounding female sexuality. She couldn't believe the irony, that she and Eva, a couple who were seen as friends, portraying a story in which two lovers are mistaken to have been friends.

Taylor found herself wishing that they would swap the roles, as she felt the character she had to portray was completely unlike her true self. That was until she turned to see Eva. She found herself at a loss of breath, her mouth dry. Eva looked stunning, her hair was curled, flowing down her shoulders and framed with a flowered hairpiece, her lips were reddened with a stain. Taylor's heart soared. 

Once their makeup was done, they went separate ways to be fitted in the first outfit. 

Taylor was guided down a corridor by an assistant and taken into the fitting room where a stylist stood with a rail of outfits. 

"Good morning Taylor, your stylist sent over your measurements so we have everything prepared here." 

The blonde felt herself go pale, she couldn't remember the last time her measurements had been taken. It must have been at least a year ago. Taylor's team had stopped weighing her and taking measurements when she was hospitalised last January, because she hadn't been eating and had overworked herself in the gym, causing her to faint on the running machine.  

"Oh okay" she stepped forward, hands quivering.

The stylist, stereotypically Italian, with a cloth tape strung around his shoulders, began to sift through the clothes. "Really it is fantastic that you are in the model size. You have the right height and width to wear straight off the runway. Because with the Americans they always are too big for runway sizes, all the celebrities over here are wider." Taylor bit on her lip and swallowed, trying to ease the lump in her throat. 

He brought in two assistants to help her change into the outfit. 

The dress was a-line, tight around the waist and ribs but loose beyond the hips, it was a dark purple colour and had lace running down the sides.  

She felt slightly uncomfortable having to get undressed in front of them, but reminded herself that it was completely standard and that they were professionals. 

She took off the robe that she had worn to get her makeup done, leaving herself in her bra and underwear.  Thankfully she was fine to keep those on. 

The assistants carefully unzipped the dress from its cover and brought it to Taylor, who stepped inside. She carefully pulled it up, but became instantly mortified when she realised that it was going to get stuck. She kept pulling anyway, bringing it closer to her hips, when the fabric caught and wouldn't move any further. 

The assistants brought the stylist back into the room and he quickly came over, to check the issue. The dress had no give, and so it wouldn't move past her hips.  

The stylist frowned. "It is okay.  It is fine, we can fix this. It is alright." He kept muttering, more to himself than anyone else. He went towards the door and called out into the hallway to bring a size zero dress.  

They came quickly with a Red off the shoulder one and had Taylor try it on, removing the double zero dress and putting it back inside the bag.  

Thankfully this one fit right, if anything it was a little loose, but Taylor still felt embarrassed for not having fit into the dress they had prepared for her.

Soon after, they made their way to the set, where Eva was waiting. When she saw her lover's face she rushed over. "Are you alright? What happened?!" 

Taylor shook her head, pulling herself out of it. It is fine. It's only one size up, she didn't even notice it happen, and it's good, it's healthy. "It's alright. The dress didn't fit, but it's alright." 

Eva put her hand on Taylor's shoulder. "That's totally fine, but if you feel like it's too much just tell me and we'll go take a minute." Taylor nodded and held Eva's hand on her shoulder. 

After setting the cameras up correctly they were instructed to lie on the ground, in opposite directions so that their heads met in the middle. Taylor was told to place her hand on the side of Eva's head and Eva to do the same. 

They took several pictures like that and then had them sitting together, with Eva over Taylor's shoulder, holding onto her.  Lastly, they got them to pose separately, before changing the looks and repeating with various other poses. 

Taylor was beginning to get tired of all the chaos but pushed through. They had them so close together, in every pose that she just wanted to hug and kiss Eva, and for her to hold her. 

Eva continuously checked on Taylor through the process and by the end of it she felt much better about the whole thing. 

Once that was done, they got changed back into the clothes they had arrived in and were taken to another room, with the interviewer and another assistant, who had an audio recorder. 

"Have a seat. It's great to meet you both." The woman greeted them sweetly. 

And so they sat side by side opposite the interviewer, linking their fingers together beneath the table so they were out of vision. 

"We'll first off, good morning. It's so nice to get to speak to you today. I'd like to start off with the story of how you became friends so quickly." She smiled, looking down at the clipboard beneath her. 

Eva started, taking the lead as she usually did. "We met at the Vanity Fair Oscars after-party. Taylor was there with Henry as she does every year, and I was there for the first time. It was such a fun experience. And afterwards, Taylor invited me for dinner." 

Taylor nodded. "Yeah, she came over and we ate and I played some piano. It was an amazing bonding experience for sure." 

The interviewer seemed satisfied with the answer and moved on. "And Taylor, what would you say is your favourite thing about Eva?" 

"She's so caring and loving, seeing how she treats everyone around her with so much love and care is really inspiring to me, I want to be just like Eva when I grow up." She joked, poking fun at the small age gap between them. 

"Eva if you could describe Taylor in one word what would it be?" 

Eva furrowed her brow, thinking hard. "I would have to say, she's incomparable, there's nobody quite like her, in her artistry or her personality."

"If one of you was to go to prison? Who would it be?" 

They answered simultaneously. "Taylor." And burst out laughing. 

"For sure me. In all situations, I'm  clumsy enough to accidentally commit a crime and determined enough to do one on purpose." Taylor supplied before Eva cut her off.

"But she's too smart to get caught. Which doesn't matter because knowing Taylor, the guilt would eat her up so much that she would probably turn herself in after a few hours of hiding." Taylor nodded in agreement. 

The interviewer laughed back at them. "Amazing, and how have you found the industry so far Eva? Since this is your first big role."

Eva thought for a minute. "Honestly my experience so far has been really good. I think my age has really helped with that because I can stand up for myself if needed and am not easily pressured into things, I understand what contracts I sign and people don't seem to think they can take advantage of me which is really good. So I've been able to avoid a lot of the nastiness that other people experience. The attention is intense though, I will admit that, so it's quite scary having to worry all the time about doing the wrong thing in public. But thanks to Taylor's help, I think I've done an okay job so far." 

The interviewer nodded again. "Lastly, Taylor how are you finding married life so far?" 

Taylor bit her lip, knowing that Eva would get extremely jealous by the question. "I'm really enjoying it, I feel so fortunate to have a partner that I can relate to and who I know will stand by me no matter what."

She could feel Eva dropping her hand under the table and moving to her thigh, stroking her softly.  Taylor's breath caught, knowing that she was driving Eva insane with her comments. 

She decided to keep going. "He really is my rock, I love him deeply and I think that's the foundation of our relationship. I know he feels the same and getting to come home to him every night is my greatest joy, there's nobody who knows me like he does." 

Eva's hand moved to her inner thigh and along to her crotch, teasing her. 

Taylor turned to look at her and could see the fury in her eyes, she was beyond jealous.  Thankfully the interviewer was satisfied with her answer and said good to the girls. 

Immediately Eva grabbed her hand and dragged her across the hall into a store cupboard, where she grabbed both Taylor's hands and pinned them above her head. 

"What the fuck was that?" She growled, causing Taylor to smile mischievously. 

"Are you jealous love? You know we aren't even official yet?" Eva took a step back.

"Oh, I see what this is. You want me to ask you to be my girlfriend. Cheeky bitch. I was all ready to ask you if you were feeling okay after earlier and here you are trying to tease me."  She gripped Taylor's hips and pulled her flush against her chest. 

"Taylor Alison Swift, will you be my girlfriend?" Taylor bounced up and down. "Yes yes yes yes ye-" 

The brunette cut her off, pulling her in for a kiss and quickly deepening it.  Taylor leaned in, opening her mouth to allow Eva's tongue in.  "Fuck", she moaned lightly, her hands on Eva's hip. 

Eventually, they pulled apart, both o with smudged lipstick on their faces. "Oh dear" Taylor tried to wipe away the mess around Eva's mouth, licking her thumb and wiping the red away.  

They tried to best present themselves, fixing their clothes and hair, before sneaking out of the cupboard and walking back down the hallway to their awaiting entourage. 

"Where did you two go?"  

Oh 

Be my once in a lifetime 

Lying on your chest 

I'm my party dress

I'm a fucking mess

Lana Del Rey - Love song

Chapter Text

It takes all that I've got

Not to fuck this up

So won't you let me know

If I'm not alone?

Leaning on you 

HAIM - leaning on you

Monday 6th May 1991 -

In the first few weeks of their official relationship, Taylor and Eva had been living as though it was their last day on earth. The girls had become hopelessly enthralled with one another, abandoning their realities to live encircled within the magic of their relationship, it felt perfect. They had started every day waking intertwined, limbs woven together as one, and had closed themselves off from the outside world. Taylor had been ignoring any calls from her management team, resorting to unplugging the phone when Tree became relentless. As far as the two girls were aware, their cover shoot had been a success, but there was no desire to be public with their affection, or in public at all. 

Taylor had begun to write about their relationship, finding herself to be alone only in the early hours of the morning, after Eva had fallen asleep in her lap and she had attempted to carry her to bed. In fact, this was entirely impossible, with the older girl being quite a bit taller than herself, and with a softer figure that allowed her a good thirty pounds on taylor. As a result, she was nearly squashed by the brunette and was forced to wake her up so that she could go to bed herself. 

Despite Taylor's best attempts to fall asleep at Eva's side, she knew it wouldn't come until at least 4am, and so the singer pattered downstairs and sat by the piano, basking in the quiet of the night and a peace in her heart that she was rarely able to feel. 

"... you can see it with the lights out... lights out..... You're in love." she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, her heart was so far ahead of her that her logic couldn't keep up. It was surely too soon to be feeling the things that she was feeling, but Taylor had always been one to fall hard and fast. It was yet to work out well for her, but she had faith. 

The next day was one of the biggest events of the year, the Met Gala, which both girls had been invited to. They had decided that Taylor would bring Henry, as was planned several months ago, but that she and Eva would be able to  spend most of the evening together anyway. 

So, once 3am rolled around, Taylor decided that she really should be getting to bed, as tomorrow would be an extremely long day. 

When she awoke, her face was being peppered with light kisses, and the smell of coffee filled the room. "Good morning mon chou." Eva grinned, causing Taylor to open her eyes and gaze back confused.

"Is that French? I didn't know you could speak french." SHe sat up in bed, embarrassed to have missed something so significant about her lover. 

Eva laughed. "No love, I just really like pet names so I googled ones from different languages and that was one of my favourites. I do speak Spanish though, poorly. It was how I got the job in Alicante, since I had to live there for a year while filming."

Taylor could barely keep up, barely awake as she rubbed the sleep out of her eye. "Hold on, I didn't know you speak spanish. What did that even mean anyway?"

Eva took a moment to think over whether she should lie or not, coming to the conclusion that the truth was much funnier. "I think it means 'my cabbage'. Isn't it cute? You kind of look like a cabbage right now." She grabbed the sides of Taylor's cheeks and jokingly squashed up her face as though she was a baby. 

"Fuck ooffff." Taylor moaned, though giving away her smile nonetheless. 

Eva chuckled, seeing that Taylor wasn't going to be getting out of bed any time soon. 

"Come on, get up. Everyone is going to be here soon, I think Tree is on her way with the glam squad. It's already lunch time." She tried to reason with the blonde, who responded by grabbing the pillow and squashing it against her face. 

Eva furrowed her brows, trying to decide what would be the best course of action to get Taylor up, and seeing two viable options. Either, she could wake Taylor up in a way that she couldn't ignore, like by tickling her or throwing water on her, or she could just take her over to the bathroom herself. 

Sheathing how adorable Taylor looked in her scrunched up nightdress, she decided to go with the latter, reaching under Taylor's thighs and back to pick her up. 

Taylor squealed and giggled, holding tightly onto Eva's neck. "Baaabee!" she groaned into Eva's neck, her warm breath against the soft skin. 

Eva left Taylor to brush her teeth, picking out some clothes for her to wear while getting ready and placing them on the side of the bathtub. She kissed the side of Taylor's head and stoked her bangs. "If it gets too much at any point during the day just let me know, you don't have to keep anything to yourself"

Taylor wasn't sure at what point Eva had picked up on the fact that she was struggling with the demands of her career, but somehow she had realised that she was suffering, and had stepped up to help, no questions asked. "Of course, thank you so much sweetheart."

Eva went downstairs to clear up the plates from yesterday's dinner, until the doorbell rang. 

Thinking that it would probably be best to leave Taylor upstairs to finish getting ready, she went to open the door herself. 

Tree stepped in, followed by several assistants and styling people to help with today. She seemed shocked that it wasn't Taylor who opened the door, trying to cover her reaction quickly but glaring subtly at Eva. "Good morning Eva, is Taylor home?" 

Eva suddenly realised that she wasn't supposed to be here already, since they didn't want everyone to know that she was living in the house Taylor was supposed to share with her husband. "She's just finished getting ready, I got here a few minutes ago myself." 

She stepped aside to allow everyone in, and they began to set up their gear. It was going to be a long day.

Tree went straight upstairs to track down the missing pop star, who was uncharacteristically chirpy. 

"Morning, your girlfriend let me in." She announced, walking into the open bathroom. 

Taylor winced. "Oh shit sorry. I forgot." finishing brushing her hair. 

Tree laughed. "My god you are so in love. I hardly recognise you. Honestly after february and the Dianna incident I thought you were destined to be an angsty troubled popstar forever. You look like a puppy." 

Taylor felt a familiar fury rising in her chest at the mention of that name. "Yes, I really like Eva. No need to bring Di into it. I can't think about her right now." 

Tree nodded her head in understanding, allowing Taylor to finish getting ready before leading them both downstairs. 

Getting ready took several hours, with the makeup and styling, last minute alterations and a few minor panics when Taylor's earrings went missing. 

By eight o'clock, everything was ready, and they were set for the event. In all the chaos however, Taylor had forgotten that Eva wasn't actually going to be her date, Henry was. And so he arrived twenty minutes later, already dressed and with his own, much smaller, team.

He greeted Taylor with a kiss on the cheek and a squeeze of her waist, causing a fire to rise in Eva's chest. She had always been the jealous type, but this was way beyond what she was used to. 

She stared daggers at Henry, who brushed her off with ease. 

He had been away working on a new project in Los Angeles for the last few months, and so he was around far less than usual. Meaning that Eva hadn't spoken to Taylor about what their arrangement would be once he returned. All she knew was that she wasn't okay with this at all. She would not be the third in the bed. 

Taking immediate note of Eva's frustration, Taylor brushed off Henry to take her side, grasping her hand and stroking her back in order to assure the brunette that she was hers. 

Henry chuckled softly, clearly not feeling the same attraction to Taylor that Eva did. Then again, he had probably seen several women come and go from Taylor's life. But she didn't want to think about that. 

They got into the car together, with Taylor sat between her husband and girlfriend. Eva's hand was gripping Taylor's tightly. "Are you feeling good babe?" Taylor inquired. 

Eva nodded faintly, her eyes set straight ahead but with a soft smile, to assure Taylor that she wasn't angry with her. 

Once they arrived, Eva saw how Taylor and Henry rapidly transitioned to the roles that they were supposed to play. 

Taylor gave her one last kiss, taking her time to assure the brunette that she was her main focus, before her and Henry got out of the car. 

Eva watched as they suddenly transformed into the characters they played, desperately in love with one another. Taylor was leaning into him, his hand just above her ass, looking down at her lovingly.  

They were completely unfazed by the hoards of cameras and people yelling instructions, as they proceeded to perform for the public. 

Shortly after, Eva too stepped out of the car, and took her turn with the cameras. It was immediately clear that most of them didn't know who she was, and that they were significantly more interested in Taylor and Henry on the red staircase. 

She stood there alone, taking subtle glances to the side as her lover stood beside a man.

It felt like an age before the ordeal was over, when she could reunite with the blonde at the other end of the carpet. She grabbed onto Taylor, pulling her close. 

Taylor smiled sadly. "I'm sorry baby. It won't be like this forever." She didn't want to jeopardise this new relationship in the name of her career. Taylor wanted to make sure that she never lost sight of what mattered, Eva. 

The actress felt assured by Taylor's presence, she could see the genuine care in her eyes. 

"We'll be okay. Thank you for taking care of me." Eva stroked Taylor's hair gently. 

In response the blonde smiled, and offered to get drinks for them both, to which Eva agreed, requesting to have the same as whatever Taylor wanted. 

She watched her girlfriend weave away through the crowd towards the bar, left to fend for herself amongst the celebrities. 

The brunette hadn't noticed Henry coming up behind her, only noticing his presence when he had come right up to her shoulder. 

Frustrated, she couldn't help making a dig at him. "You don't have to be so keen you know. She's my girlfriend now, she isn't single, and in case you can't tell, gay." 

Henry seemed taken aback by her snarky remark. "Darling, Taylor and I have known each other for years, I've seen her dive headfirst into countless relationships with girls. Without fail, everytime, she runs back crying, when they leave her out in the cold. You can't just waltz in here and expect to be different. And for what it's worth, Taylor is absolutely not gay, you should know she hates to be called that. So stop trying to punch up at me, and ask yourself what's best for her." He scoffed before walking off, leaving Eva standing alone, embarrassed. 

At that moment she turned to try and track Taylor down, but was disheartened to realise that she wasn't at the bar. 

Beginning to panic, she shoved her way across the floor to the toilets, checking in there to find that they too were empty. 

After twenty minutes of panicked searching she found Taylor laying against the wall, an empty glass in her hand. "Oh my god Taylor! Where the fuck did you go?" She knelt down beside the blonde, who was clearly dazed. 

"I don't... I'm so sorry. I'm not usually a lightweight but I must've underestimated the whisky... I feel dizzy." Taylor reached her arms up to Eva so that she could help her to her feet. 

Eva felt beyond guilty for not keeping an eye on Taylor and letting her get so drunk. 

"Are you sure nobody could have put something in your drink?" She asked, concerned.

Taylor shook her head. "I didn't take my eyes off it... I just kept going. I started to feel anxious and like... like the crowd was closing in so I kept ordering more and it started to fade out.... But I don't... now I feel..... Baby." Taylor whined, wrapping her arms around Eva and leaning her weight into her. 

Eva could see that she needed to get Taylor out of there quickly, the blonde was beyond out of it, how she had managed to do so in the hour they had been there she couldn't fathom. 

"Okay sweetheart we're gonna go home now, but can you tell me exactly what you drank?"

 Taylor nodded, resting her weight fully against Eva. "It was the whisky... and then another, and vodka... and I had a flask in my purse.... Coz of nerves.... With more vodka.... And then vodka diet coke. I just got carried awa.... Mmmm I love you." 

Eva tried not to take note of Taylor's drunken ramblings, ignoring the way her heart soared at the incredibly premature admission. 

"Come on angel, let's get you home." She guided a wobbly Taylor through the noisy groups of celebrities and out the back door into the crisp night air.  

They waited a few minutes for Taylor's driver, and she helped her inside, allowing the younger girl to lean on her for support. "You're my superhero, and... I feel so gross coz I was with Henry and I felt so guilty and I.... I  wanted to make you happy..." She mumbled. 

It wasn't long before Taylor drifted off, causing Eva to check her watch, twelve thirty, a great time for Taylor, who had only gotten four hours the previous night. 

She carried her up to bed and changed her into a night dress so that the blonde would be more comfortable, however as she pulled down the zip of her dress and slipped it off, something caught her eye. She looked closer at Taylor's waist, where her inner thighs met her pelvis, and could feel the breath leaving her lungs. 

Eva suddenly understood why Taylor had been so reluctant to let her go down on her, or let her have sex with the lights on, even when they showered together, they had been dimmed. 

There was a scar, jagged and about five centimetres across. In harsh angular lettering and in all caps, was the word D Y K E, spelled out on Taylor's skin. 

Eva gasped, her hand reaching to her mouth as she took a step back, contemplating whether Taylor had done it to herself or not. The scar was undoubtedly old, and rather faint, as though sliced into her flesh with a small knife. 

As she looked closer she could see faint lined that ran across the tops of Taylor's thighs too, in precise neat rows of three on each side, they seemed like pale divets in her skin, barely discoloured, but deep enough to change the landscape of her soft skin, as though etched over and over to leave a valley in their healed wake. 

Eva knew Taylor didn't want her to know about these yet, whatever it was, and so she tried to push her horror out of her mind, pretending she had never seen the faint scars, as she tucked Taylor into bed, before rushing to the bathroom.

Eva leant against the wall, feeling a wicked sense of dread rising as she contemplated how someone she had grown to love so quickly, who was golden hearted and light, could have been defiled so brutally and so permanently. It made her sick. 

She knew that Taylor had been through a lot, and that there was a lot about the young starlet that she didn't know yet, but Eva only hoped that she would be able to love her and care for her like she deserved. 

Eventually, after splashing her face with water and taking a few deep breaths, she crawled into bed with Taylor, holding her tight as the blonde slept, unaware of her lover's distress.

It takes all that I've got

Not to fuck this up

So won't you let me know

If I'm not alone?

Leaning on you 

HAIM - leaning on you

Chapter Text

Take me to church 

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins

So you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good god, let me give you my life

Take me to church - Hozier

Thursday 16th May 1991 - 

Eva tried her hardest to forget what she had seen. She was aware that it wasn't information Taylor had given willingly, though it had been an accident, and the brunette was unsure as to how Taylor would respond if she brought up the topic. 

After all, they had only known one another for a month now, and there was still a lot of territory that was uncharted in their relationship. 

So she kept it to herself for the next few weeks, allowing their dynamic to evolve naturally, and trying to overlook the underlying issues that were starting to arise. 

Moreover, her issues with Henry had been worsening, as he had returned home. Though Eva understood that she was the intrusion, she was still deeply frustrated with his constant presence, and the way that he talked to Taylor. 

Henry and Taylor had been a team for years, long before they had been married, and Eva had the suspicion that there may be some feelings on his end that Taylor did not reciprocate. It was in his mannerisms, the way that he would always turn to check on Taylor every time they went out, how he touched her shoulder or back when they saw one another, and the way he would kiss her cheek. 

It was beginning to become unbearable to watch, especially since the entire world was under the impression that him and Taylor were happily married. In some ways, she supposed they were.

Taylor had promised right from the start that she and Henry would end any intimate relationship that they had, that she wouldn't sleep in a bed with him or show him affection outside of contractual obligations. But it was barely enough to satiate Eva's jealousy. 

Equally, Henry seemed to be slightly cold towards Eva. She wasn't sure whether is had anything to do with her stealing his wife, but it was unnerving nevertheless.

Despite this, they had been able to settle into somewhat of a regime, in which Eva would wake up first each morning and make breakfast, leaving some in the pan for Henry and bringing up hers and Taylor's. Then, Henry would go for a run and Eva would try to gently wake Taylor up so she could get ready for work, whether that be recording, meetings or interviews. Then she would leave and Eva would be waiting for her when she got back. They would eat dinner together some nights, depending on whether Taylor had cooked, since she would typically do so for all of them. 

Today was no different. Eva had started the day by making breakfast and had sent Taylor off the the Studio while she looked through some scripts her agent had sent over, and Henry sat in the garden reading.  

The weather was unusually warm for May, accompanied by a slight breeze that brought with it a serenity. 

Eva was sat at the dining room table, scrolling through her emails when the doorbell rang. 

She looked across the room at the stylised clock that sat upon the fireplace and saw that it was only just passed midday, much earlier than Taylor typically returned from work. 

She closed her laptop and brushed her hair over her shoulder, fixing it quickly in a mirror in the foyer before going to open the door. 

She was greeted by an older couple, a tall man  dressed in a shirt and pair of beige slacks, with his hand on the shoulder of a much shorter woman. They appeared relaxed and warm, both with subtle smiles, and yet a sense of unease washed over Eva. 

Upon seeing who had opened the door, the woman's smile faltered, and she checked the house number beside the door. "Excuse me, is this Taylor's house?" The woman asked. It was immediately apparent to Eva that these people must be Taylor's parents, for the resemblance in their facial features and blonde hair. 

She was sure that Taylor had mentioned something before about not getting along with her parents, and so the actress wondered whether she should let them in or not. 

They seemed like two perfectly harmless older people, and so she was inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt. Besides, how else would she deal with them? Lie and swiftest that she had no idea who 'Taylor' may be?

And so she took a step back to allow them in. "Yes it is, I'm sorry but Taylor is at work at the moment and won't be back for around an hour. Would you like to come in and wait?" 

The pair nodded subtly in understanding, moving forward into the foyer without removing their shoes. They looked around at the decor, confirming Eva's earlier judgment that they must have not been to this house before. She wondered how long ago Taylor had moved in with Henry, it can't have been too long ago considering they had only gotten married a few months ago.

Eva lead them through to the living room and offered to make them a coffee or tea, which the woman accepted. She used Taylor's espresso machine and managed to make a coffee that she hoped would taste okay, never having done it herself before, before returning to the couple.

"So how do you know Taylor? Do you work for Henry or something?" The woman asked. 

Eva shook her head, unsure how to respond. She assumed that this was not the time to reveal their relationship, not even knowing whether they were aware Taylor's marriage to Henry was fake. 

"I'm Taylor's housekeeper." She was unsure whether that might bite her in the ass later. In fact, she didn't even know what a housekeeper would do. 

The man raised an eyebrow and looked Eva up and down once, trying to make a judgment on her. 

"Taylor can't take care of her house herself? This whole celebrity persona must be getting to her head if she's employing someone else to look after her house." The woman sighed. 

"Really dear I think Taylor's housework is the least of our problems these days." The taller man interjected, placing his hand on the woman's shoulder. 

Eva stood there for a moment, questioning whether they would want her to stay or leave. 

"Would you like me to call Taylor and see when she's coming back?" She inquired.

They shook their heads and told her that she shouldn't bother worrying about them, so Eva went to leave. 

At that moment, the garden door opened to reveal Henry, wearing a loose shirt and his signature black tailored trousers. When he saw the pair sitting on his couch he froze, filling the room immediately with tension. 

"Afternoon Scott, Andrea." He smiled but his eyes were set glaring at Eva for letting them in. 

She sent back a panicked look, not knowing how to respond. Clearly she had made an error. 

"Afternoon Henry. It's good to see you again, how's married life treating you?" The man asked, leaning back into his chair and smiling at Henry. 

In response her put his hands on his pockets, and gave a strained laugh. "Scott, would you mind if I had a quick word with Eva here outside?" He didn't wait to hear their response before gesturing for Eva to leave the room and follow him. 

Once they had closed the door, his face fell and he lifted a hand to his head. "Fucking hell. Why would you let them in? Who even gave them this address? We need to get those two out of here before Taylor gets home.

Eva was clearly being left behind here. "What's going on? I don't understand. Those are her parents right?" Eva was picking up in his demeanour and beginning to panic herself. 

"She hasn't spoken to them in years! I don't know what gave them the idea to show up here." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to find a way to get them out. 

Without turning to look at Eva, he went back into the living room. "I'm terribly sorry, but I think it would be best if you both returned to your hotel." He knew full well that they wouldn't have booked a hotel and expected to stay with them. "Because Taylor-" 

"Taylor what?" Henry's heart dropped as he heard the voice of Taylor coming from behind him. 

He tried desperately to get her out but it was no use, she had already seen her parents seated. "What the fuck?" She stormed into her middle of the room, Eva and Henry trailing behind her.  

Her mother stood, trying to placate the situation. "Sweetheart please, we mean no harm. Your father and I miss you, we were so pleased to hear the news of your wedding and wanted to make amends."

Taylor scoffed. "Fuck off. You always fucking do this, it's the same story every time. You come in waving a white flag and within two weeks we're back to the same old shit."

Her father interjected, a hand outreaching to Taylor. "No sweetheart it doesn't have to be like that, it's different now. You're a married woman, we were right. We have only ever wanted what was good for you, and look at you now." 

Taylor clenched her fists, turning around and waving her hands in the air in frustration. "You fucking idiots. You seriously thought you had won? Well jokes on you! I'm the same deviant whore you were so disgusted by ten years ago, all that money spent trying to beat it out of me failed. Because Henry and I weren't even together, that-" she turned and pointed to Eva, before changing her mind and grabbing her hand lightly. "Is my girlfriend. So you should probably just be horrified like you always are and run out of this satanic hell house quickly, because just the sight of you both makes me want to rip out a heart and fucking eat it!" Taylor looked as though she was about to scream, her face red and mouth curled in a bitter snarl. 

Henry was beyond surprised by Taylor's response, in all the years they had been friends he had never seen her stand up to her parents like that. Usually, she would curl up in a ball and cry at the thought of them. 

Taylor's mother recoiled in horror. "You are foul. I had thought you got over all this. Clearly that is not the case. You need us here. You can't understand how painful it is for me to see you still suffering."

"The only reason I'm suffering is because of you. Fuck this shit." She stormed over to the drinks cabinet and poured herself a glass of whiskey, downing it quickly before pouring another. She turned to face the wall and leaned against it for a moment. "I can't even look at you. Just get the fuck out." 

Her parents looked at one another before nodding cautiously. "Fine. We'll give you time to get your act together, but this isn't finished Taylor. I expect to see you for dinner tonight. I won't accept this mess." Her mother dictated before calmly leaving the room.

A few moments later, they headed the door slam and Taylor slid down the wall, facing Henry and Eva as she began to cry.

"Taylor could you please explain what's going on right now. I don't understand." Eva knelt down beside the blonde, stroking her hair as she wiped away her tears and swallowed tightly. 

Taylor looked over at Henry. "Could you please explain it to her? I just... I'm tired." She stood up, taking Eva's hand and finishing her second glass of whiskey. 

Henry sighed and nodded. "Taylor's parents are insane. They're pretty devout Christians and conservatives. When Taylor was fifteen they found out she had been kissing an older girl round the back of the mall, after a neighbour saw her and told them. They locked her in the basement for a week-" 

Taylor cut him off. "Two weeks", as she picked the nail polish off her ring finger.

"Two weeks. When she was seventeen they caught her in her room having sex with another girl and they sent her to a weird wilderness conversion camp thing. She was only allowed to come back six months later when Scott  heard her CD and offered her a record deal. He agreed with her parents to keep her under control and form a tight circle of management. After that they tried to pretend that it had never happened. A few years ago she tried it again, introducing them to Dian-"

"Henry." Taylor reminded him of their agreement to never mention that name, turning swiftly around to glare at him. 

"Her ex. They went off on her and tried to force her to marry this weird Baptist guy, so she cut off all contact. The only way she was allowed to keep dating women by her management was if she agreed to beard. We had known each-other ages by that point, so she asked me and I agreed. Her parents were under the impression that we are actually married."  Henry rubbed Taylor's back softly. 

"That 'camp', it was horrific. They would dunk my head under the lake and hold me down until I promised to repent, and lock me in rooms for days in the dark, they even drove me out to the middle of the woods and ditched me in order to 'rebuild my natural instincts' or some shit like that. The guys in charge... they were-... they were pretty fucked up. After that I was too fucked in the head to be arguing with anyone. I was so desperate to never go back." 

Eva's jaw was on the floor. Looking at Taylor she could never have had any idea that she had been through that. Taylor always appeared so glamorous and fiery, it was difficult to picture her as a seventeen year old, alone like that. She rushed over and hugged Taylor. "I'm so so sorry love. I had no idea."

"Right now we're trying to find a way to get rid of her management team without losing the record contract. Tree has been a massive help but we haven't had much luck." Henry supplied, to emphasise the fact that Taylor wasn't the type to sit around and suffer like that. She was strong and she wouldn't wait for other people to save her. 

"Are you alright now?" Eva asked, hoping that this didn't torment Taylor too much these days. 

"Yeah. I've gotten past a lot of the self loathing, I'm doing much better now. Aside from this minor alcohol issue and the occasional bad dream." She smiled and tilted her glass towards Eva.

"Well I'm here for you if you need it. Always."

Take me to church 

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins

So you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good god, let me give you my life

Take me to church - Hozier

Chapter Text

I want you to know
I'm a mirrorball
I'll show you every version of yourself tonight
I'll get you out on the floor
Shimmering beautiful
And when I break,
it's in a million pieces

Eva and Henry stood outside Taylor's bedroom door, listening for any sounds to indicate she was still alive in there. They glared at each-other subtly, as though really might burst through the door and scold them for not playing nicely.

"Taylor, honey. Are you okay? Do you need anything?" Eva questioned, listening intently through the door.

But no reply came, instead, they heard the sounds of a door open, the tap running, and loud groan, which quickly turned into a scratching screech.

"Okay. Still alive." Eva confirmed.

They stayed for a while, trying to coax Taylor out of her room before giving up and slinging down the door to sit outside it.

The pair sat in silence, neither willing to be the first to leave Taylor, but both unwilling to offer any communication. As a result, the stubborn pair stared at the cream walls opposite them, locked in a silent challenge of who could prove their love for Taylor more.

Eventually Eva took to staring at the ceiling light until it created green and purple patterns in the back of her eye, blinking quickly to watch them move across her feild of vision.
She repeated the action three or four times before Henry took note of the erratic behaviour.

"Are you having some sort of seizure? Can you stop it?" She grumbled, turning to face her for the first time in fourth three minutes.

Eva chuckled, stretching her arms out and getting up to pace up and down the carpeted landing. She was tempted to ignore him entirely, leaving the awkward silence to fester in the stuffy third floor hallway.

"Why don't you just leave? Go fuck some Taylor substitute, a bottle blonde bitch who is actually interested in you." Her words had significantly more venom than she had intended, coming across beyond aggressively.

"You've got everything wrong Eva. I'm not sure what love triangle you've imagined, but nobody is challenging you for Taylor's affection.

She faltered, a warm flush rising in her cheeks as she was disarmed. But before she was able to think of a suitable comeback, Henry resumed talking, tapping softly on his knees as he did so.

"Maybe you're right, there will always be a place in my heart for Taylor, she has done a lot for me, but our never partaking in a relationship was a mutual decision. Taylor and I met a few months after I moved to New York, she was already a big star, and had been for five or six years, though mostly in the country music scene. She was hoping for a fresh start, and I was looking for my big break. We hit it off so well because of how sensitive we both are, we're the type to swirl around in other people's winds, and be knocked off course with the smallest critiques. Maybe I'm sounding cheesy, she could explain it better than me. I don't know.... We're mirror-balls.

Her and I, we reflect the light of others, following their demands and expectations. She's a beautifully strong woman, so creatively bold, but she's also easily knocked over, and so she attracts people who take advantage of that. We look after each-other, so it only seemed right that when her management forced her into a lavender marriage, I volunteered... and one of the things that has always united us, is our slight preferences for the wrong sex.

I'm not bitter that you pushed me out of my bed, I'm cautious that you've dove head first into a situation that you aren't equipped for. I know you mean well, but the Taylor you've met... she's incredible, don't get me wrong, but that's only one part of her. She's been doing so well the last six months, I feel like she's finally understanding what it feels like to be herself, unapologetically.

As much as it may surprise you, I like you, but you don't want to see the Taylor that I've spent the last five years healing. I know I have no right to make judgments on your relationship, but I'm not going to disappear out of her life just because you're the jealous type." He stood up, not waiting for Eva to reply and knocked on Taylor's door to let her know he was going to come in.

He left Eva in the hallway, mulling over his words again and again. Had she been so caught up in her infatuation, that she didn't see Taylor is still struggling? She tried to think back and find moments when there was a sign that she may have missed, but struggled to see it. The brunette just didn't know the Taylor he talked about, this was all knew. But Eva was certain that she would be able to deal with whatever hardships came her way. No matter what, she would stand by Taylor.

Eventually, she took a deep breath and headed inside, unsure of what exactly she would find.

Upon opening the bedroom door, Eva was met with an empty room. She took note of the fact that the draws had been pulled open, with their contents spilling out slightly, some of which was on the floor.

The brunette could hear rustling coming from the en-suite, so she followed the sounds, through the door and into the brightly lit bathroom.

Taylor was sitting on the floor with her head in her hands and her knees up to her chest. Her face was red and splotchy and there were drying tracks of tears lining her cheeks, rimmed with traces of black mascara.

When she looked up, and made eye contact with Eva, Taylor began to laugh. "God I'm sorry. I needed a moment to be dramatic."
She held a hand up to Henry, which he grasped and pulled her up off the floor.

Taylor fixed her dress, pulling it down where it had risen, and took a deep breath.

Henry looked at her, frowning slightly. "Are you sure you're alright Taylor? I mean... it's okay if you need some more time." He took a step forward, brows furrowed, while Eva stayed in the corner of the room. It was clear to her that Henry knew Taylor better, she couldn't think what to do with herself, whether to stay or go, or talk or give her a hug.

Taylor shook her head vehemently. "I'm better now, I'm sorry it was just a minor blip. I shouldn't have gotten so emotional. There's nothing to be upset about."

Eva failed to hide the confusion on her face. "Sweetheart I don't think you're being honest with yourself here. It's okay that you feel hurt, they're... well your parents are horrible, and if I was you I wouldn't want to be anywhere near them either. And I'm not trying to be funny here, you just shut yourself in your room for nearly an hour crying."

Taylor nodded, slower, as though thinking her next words through carefully. "Yeah, I'm upset, but I'll be okay. I would really like it if we could all just go and watch a movie, I don't want to think about them anymore."

Henry conceded reluctantly, following Taylor to the living room and taking a seat as she put on a cheesy Ron Im he had never heard of. He made sure to leave a space for Eva, so that she would be able to sit next to Taylor, which she did.

They sat together in silence as the film played, Taylor leaning her head onto Eva's shoulder and cuddling into the shape of her body.

I want you to know
I'm a mirrorball
I'll show you every version of yourself tonight
I'll get you out on the floor
Shimmering beautiful
And when I break,
it's in a million pieces