Chapter Text
'Those Royans are a feral bunch, it's the only thing I like about them,' Bull said, as he rummaged around in one of the black, velvet sacks that he'd brought back with him.
Cullen watched those large fingers of his, the competent way he unloaded what he needed every time and felt warm to have Bull back again after - this time - four months away. It was one of their longest separations. Bull had different tasks, quests and responsibilities chained together, ending in Val Royeaux in Orlais, a place Cullen was happy to never visit again. He hated having to play a role that didn't fit him and he found that – like any good Fereldan – he suited the countryside. A small house and Staunch the mabari was plenty for him. Templar's Rest kept him busy enough on top of that.
His life before was impossible to imagine returning to.
'It's not often people describe the citizens of Val Royeaux as feral,' Cullen said drily.
Bull looked up, his eye gleaming, a smile at the corners of his mouth. ‘Most of them don’t know what to do with all their cute little toys, but at least they think it’s salacious and sexy to custom make them when I put in an order.’
Bull’s horns looked worse for the wear, and Cullen itched to treat them, rub hand-tingling ointment into them, buff them until they shone. But right now he was recovering from a migraine that had lasted several days. The episodes didn't seem to be getting much worse, but they weren't getting much better either. Oftentimes, Hensley was the one who found him, cleaning him up and dragging him to bed, sitting there when Cullen woke, maintaining a silent vigil as seriously as he had back when he'd been in Skyhold, standing and watching the world beyond the turreted walls while lyrium withdrawals ate the nerve endings in his hands.
As it was, Cullen felt weak, though he'd been up and about for two days now. Hensley had left him with plentiful spring water, and some of the herbal treatments they used for the other Templars that came with their afflictions. Cullen had tasted an edge of too much elfroot and hedged over taking more. Even after all this time, he could only stand it when it wasn't the main ingredient, which was a shame, for it was the main ingredient in all healing salves for humans.
'Look at you, all washed out,' Bull said, shaking his head. 'Only thing that should be doing that to you is me, little lion.'
Cullen swallowed, managed to stop himself from looking away. Even after all this time, Bull's avid hunger leaked out of him and swamped the house. And Cullen wanted him, in his own way. He wanted deliberate, exacting pain to replace the chaos of the episodes that assailed him. He wanted the brightness of Bull's intent etched upon him until he couldn't stand it. But he was tired, patient, and knew it would all happen in good time.
'Look at what I found,' Bull said, pulling out a gold-flecked collar, a gold-flecked leash, both beautifully made. He placed them on the table in front of Cullen, who took the supple collar curiously.
'I don't think they're used to fitting the thick necks of mabari,' Cullen said speculatively.
Bull stepped over, the height difference all the more startling when Cullen was seated. He unbuckled the collar and looked it over, flicking off a tiny speck of dust. Then, without much warning, he reached out and looped it around Cullen's neck, bending over him until the tips of his horns just scraped the wall. Cullen stilled, his whole body on alert, as Bull breathed down the side of his face, his neck. A low rumble of satisfaction in his chest.
'I don't know, little lion. Seems like it'd be a pretty good fit.'
'You can't be serious,' Cullen said, his throat moving against the unbuckled golden collar, held in place by Bull's hands. 'You're- You know how I feel about this.'
'You have a word,' Bull said idly, like he was unconcerned. He pressed his thick thumb to Cullen's throat, above the collar, and pushed in until Cullen coughed automatically. 'You think I could still get my cock all the way in here, while this was buckled? Everything's worth trying once!'
He stepped back, took the collar with him. It slid off Cullen's neck with an electric sensation, and the blasted thing looked tiny in Bull's hand. Cullen looked over at the leash, his cheeks flaming, then looked up at Bull, who grinned.
'They got all these glorious places in Orlais, you know, they're known for it, known for not knowing what to do with it all,' Bull said, laughing to himself as he picked up the leash and turned it this way and that. 'Got so many goodies to decorate you with. Not that you need more than my come on your face to look spectacular.'
Cullen was glaring, frustrated, annoyed, and turned on after four months with nothing more than his hand and memories of Bull fucking him open, making him wail. But this was something he'd been on the fence over for a long time, and he wasn't sure how he felt about Bull purchasing items for it.
'You going to make an honest lion tamer out of me?' Bull said, grinning. 'Listen, we already have a bull, and a dog, all we need now is the lion.'
Cullen stayed stonily silent, Bull's grin widened.
'Good on you, Cullen, not saying the watchword yet. Maybe you're not thinking too hard about what it will feel like when I make you crawl at my feet?'
Cullen had crawled at Bull's feet before, but not attached to a collar and leash.
'I'm not even done,' Bull said, opening the black velvet bag. 'Before I apologise for giving offense, let me really commit first.'
'You're exasperating.'
Bull pulled out a black leather paddle, which he slapped down against his bare palm hard enough that Cullen flinched, thinking about that landing on his own skin. Bull placed that down beside the collar and petted it lightly. After that, a strange looking gag which looked more like a muzzle and was made of metal. Cullen eyed it uneasily. And then ears. Lion ears. Not the red that he expected from the lions found in the Frostbacks, but a rich gold. Cullen wanted to touch them, see what they felt like against the semi-numbed tips of his fingers, but knowing they were intended to go on his head was more than enough.
He stood, intending to leave, and was stopped far too easily by a hand on his upper arm.
'It's just a game,' Bull said, his voice low. 'A game we can try.'
'A game.'
'Yeah,' Bull said, fingers tightening around his arm in promise, not yet enough to hurt. Cullen was tired, and he wanted Bull, and he wanted so much of what Bull enjoyed in the bedroom, but this particular thing wasn't just hard, it seemed impossible. 'A game. Go on then, tell me what it is. You think I'll tell everyone one day that you crawled for me, pretending to be an animal? You think that's so much worse than anything else I've done to you? That you've wanted?'
Cullen did sometimes fear those things, the embarrassment, the ruin that Bull could inflict upon him in a handful of words in a distant land. Something that might seem harmless in a tavern never before visited, but rumours came back to lance him eventually. After Searidge, Cullen knew better than most how something done in private could come back to harm him.
Bull worked so hard to be safe, and he was trustworthy and patient. Even now, he was being patient.
'Would it help if I told you that I wanted it? Your fear?' Bull said, leaning closer.
'Maker,' Cullen breathed. 'Maybe it would.'
'Would it help if I told you that I want to see you blush prettily like a virginal maiden over this, your knees on the floor, wearing those ears, making little noises for me, pretending like you haven't been rammed to unconsciousness because I didn't want to let you rest that one night, and you didn't want to say the watchword?'
Maker.
'You- You can't just seduce me into- You can't.'
'Yeah,' Bull rumbled, 'I think it might help if I told you that along with all the humiliation, I'm going to hurt you so good. Never fucked a lion before, not really my thing, though I could tell you some stories... But you pretending to be my little lion? Getting to tame the fierce, stubborn Lion of Ferelden? Always wanted a pet.'
'There's- We have a... What about Staunch?'
'Look at you, all flustered and pretty for me.'
Bull's hand tightened on Cullen's upper arm, he reached into Cullen's pants rudely, all too easily, and got a hand around his soft cock, squeezing hard enough that Cullen crunched forwards in pain, scalded by it. His knees weakened, his exhale punched out of him.
Bull dragged him close enough that Cullen sagged against his torso, Bull quickly got an arm around his body and kept him pressed tight.
'Four months is too fucking long,' Bull growled.
Cullen gasped, then reached down and grasped Bull's thick wrist, then yelped when Bull's grip tightened.
'Since no one else is using it, this belongs to me, doesn't it?' Bull said, dragging a rough thumb along Cullen's cock, awakening mostly pain. It was heavy and blunt, knuckling into him, and he whined faintly. Ownership was something Cullen resisted and craved. When Bull was gone for long enough, Cullen got used to living without him, enjoyed it, and when he came back, he wanted to know that Bull wanted him. But Bull's wanting was demanding, it demanded more strength from him than anything other than the episodes he experienced. It made him feel purified, somehow.
'You poor little thing,' Bull said, his grip loosening, rubbing his palm roughly over Cullen's flesh. His cock was slowly hardening, the pain having shocked Cullen's body into responding. 'You've got too many places I can get into, but all this lion shit? Want to get into your mind, little lion. You can learn to love a leash.'
'You're... This is why- Maker.'
'Want to fuck you now, but I'm going to be courteous and wait. Your hole is so unused to me, isn't it? You're still too shy about using toys while I'm gone.'
Bull's hand sliding out of his pants, and Cullen feeling disappointed until Bull grabbed a handful of his crotch all at once, his cock, his balls, fabric, blunt fingertips scraping behind his testicles and along his inner thighs. The grip wasn't brutal yet, but Cullen had gone cautiously still. It wasn't often that their returns went this way this quickly, and Cullen worried that something had gone wrong while Bull was out there in the world, wondered if everything was all right, then abandoned the concern for his partner so he could be concerned for himself instead. The hand between his legs was tightening like a clamp, and Cullen grasped the leather strap that ran across Bull's chest and hung on, then tried tugging at it to convey the pain he was feeling.
'Hensley says you've been pushing too hard,' Bull said.
'Cheating. This is cheating.'
'Yeah, it's easier for me to lecture you while you're like this. It's harder for you to feel like I'm condescending to you when I'm putting you through your paces, and you look good enough to wreck, Kadan.'
Cullen moaned weakly. He mouthed the word back but couldn't get any voice behind it. The pain was radiating up and out, making it hard to inhale. He felt like he wanted to piss and cry at the same time, and he clung to the leather strap and panted with how quickly Bull had escalated.
'Missed you,' Bull breathed. Teeth scraped across the top of Cullen's head, over his hair.
'You... You too.'
'Yeah?' Bull said. 'Shit you smell good. Tell you what, if you'd been on the road with me, I would've fucked you until Krem strung me up and made little winged nugs out of my nutsack.'
Cullen would have laughed, but the pain twisted up sharp and vicious and he went onto his tiptoes and then reached with a closed fist and punched Bull in the shoulder once, twice, mind whiting out as he forgot what he was supposed to do, supposed to say.
'Katoh,' he managed, the word strangling out of him.
Bull letting go was worse, and Cullen's back was still arching as arms caught him, came around him. He bit viciously into Bull's chest, not breaking the tougher skin, drool painting it messily as he tasted sweat and salt. He panted, his inhales shrill.
'Got you,' Bull murmured. 'I've got you.'
Cullen wasn't even hard anymore. But he ached inside, and he wanted release, more of it and none of it, and clung onto Bull with hard fingers and was glad Staunch was out at Templar's Rest for the day, keeping all the Templars company.
'Hensley said it was a bad episode.'
Cullen nodded, still breathless, feeling weak and stripped bare and needy and stupid with it. 'Yes. Yes, it was.'
'He found you unconscious.'
Cullen nodded.
'Yeah. I don't like it. Hensley himself has as good as said you need to stop forcing yourself over there every other day to help out with the chores.'
'Not now. Not now,' Cullen said, pressing closer, caught with aftershocks of pain and knowing he was bruised all through that tender skin and that it would hurt later even if Bull touched him with tenderness.
'All right then, little lion,' Bull said, sighing. 'I know you need it. The purpose of it all. Just glad to see you. Want you smelling like my come and my sweat and nothing else for the next few weeks.'
'Yes, that... I'm amenable.'
Bull laughed against him, and Cullen didn't fight when Bull half-carried him back to their large, oversized bed. Despite the twinge in his bladder, Cullen dozed heavily, feeling like he'd run a marathon and satisfied for it.
*
When he woke, he went into the bathroom to relieve himself, groaning softly at the bruising he felt in his balls, his soft cock, his bladder. He could hear Bull moving around in the kitchen, restocking it with food he'd brought with him. Cullen could smell a stew cooking and as he pulled his pants back up, he walked out and considered Bull, and then saw the items on the kitchen table. The lion ears, the collar and leash, the gag, the paddle. Bull called it a game, but Cullen felt an uneasy swoop within him. He'd never gotten over his inability to handle mitts, and this felt dangerously close to that limit.
'You really think... You really think I'll like it? This game?'
'Nah,' Bull said, side-eyeing him seriously. 'I think you'll fucking hate it at first. I think you're going to be uptight, stubborn, resentful, and a little turned on, and mad about that too. Think you might try and bite me, fight me, all the fun stuff. Please bite me. Just want you to see what I'll do if you start in on me.'
Cullen sighed. Bull's smile was warm.
'It's not a game we have to play any time soon. You can think on it.'
'It's something you want? Something that would make you happy if I tried it?'
'You make me happy.' Bull paused over the stew, stirred it a few more times, and then said - without looking up: 'Kadan, you make me happy.'
'I might hate it,' Cullen said. 'Not in the "I'll come around later" way. Genuinely. This is...different to some of the other things you've wanted.'
'I know,' Bull said. 'Wouldn't have waited this long if I thought it was easy. If it was easier, we would've done this back in Skyhold. Would've had them thinking a lion had escaped from the Frostbacks into the grounds.'
Cullen's half-smile was wry, a little rueful. He was doomed, really. Doomed because the paddle had sounded so thuddy and painful when Bull had thwacked it against his hand. Doomed because seeing the heated satisfaction and hunger on Bull's face when he stared at Cullen was something he craved, those strong, unblinking gazes carved into secret spaces in his own body. Doomed because he liked to prove himself, because he liked to withstand something, endure it, come out the other side.
But this thing scared him. He didn't know why. Did he have memories from Kinloch? Of course they'd joked about him being no better than an animal, but they'd joked about many things.
Bull's head was tilted as he considered him. Staunch sat by Bull's feet with endless patience, waiting for a piece of stew to drop to the floor. His tail occasionally thumped. He was also happy Bull was home.
'Why this thing?' Cullen said finally. 'Have you done it much?'
'A bit. I like it. Been called an animal all my life, maybe it feels good to turn other people into them as well,' Bull said, and he laughed like it was a joke, but Cullen heard the truth in it. 'Also, it's a really great conduit. Shit, nothing breaks through all that structure like being forced to growl and whine and crawl like an animal. You got all that scaffolding around you, I just want to tear it down. Just a bit.'
'As a game.'
'Hey, some games are serious,' Bull said, stirring the stew and then passing the crust of some bread down to Staunch, who snapped it up happily, tail wagging hard enough to lightly slap Bull's calf. 'Besides, I'm pretty good at putting things back together again. You need the scaffolding once we're done, and I'll build it myself, from scratch if I have to.'
'Ah, yes, the Pink Iron Bull, famous carpenter of the Qunari.'
Bull's grin was secret and pleased.
'Will it be a... A play? Are we in roles? How does it work?'
'Nah, that's not how this goes,' Bull said, laughing. 'You tell me you want to try playing the game, and I'll tell you the rules, little lion. I'm not gonna feel bad if you say it's a game you don't want to play, but once you say you'll do it, I'm not gonna make it easy for you. I get that it's hard. I want that. I think you're up for it.'
A challenge. Bull was playing every card to get Cullen on board, and Cullen pressed his lips together.
'Not the collar,' he said.
'Nope,' Bull said, stretching hugely within the house and then resting one hand on the wooden spoon and his other languidly down by his crotch. Bull enjoyed talking about this kind of thing more than anyone had a right to. 'Not this time. We have our negotiation. You can wait, you can think about it, you can tell me no, but if you step up, you step up into a space I make for you, not one you make for yourself. You're not the lion tamer, you don't get to choose the tools. Let me show you how good I am at this.'
Cullen was surprised at the change of tack and closed his eyes. Surrender wasn't something that came naturally to him. Yielding was something he had to be made to do.
'Yes, well,' Cullen said, staring at the collar and leash. 'I'll try it.'
Bull's smile was at first pleased and proud, and in a slow shift, became hungry and menacing. He turned back to the stew, cleared his throat a few seconds later, and Cullen pressed a hand to his chest. He felt enlivened amongst the soreness and the exhaustion, and after a few minutes Bull started talking about his adventures, and Cullen listened and found he didn't much miss the travelling life at all.