Chapter Text
She doesn't hear Supergirl's words, she can barely hear Alex's response, but she can guess from the way Alex curls into herself. Lucy reaches for her, but the vise of Myriad clamps tighter around her until the pain stabs through her skull.
The lights begin to halo and blur just as warm fingers intertwine with hers. The external pressure jolts her back. Her vision focuses. Beside her, Alex presses her face into her other palm like she could push through and pull Myriad out herself.
They haven't even spoken in weeks, and Alex is holding Lucy's hand in the middle of the DEO, in front of everyone. She must not realize what she's doing. Lucy tries to shake her free, but Alex won't budge.
Her eyes crack open, and in the intensity of that gaze, Lucy sees it. As Myriad takes them, this is Alex's last choice.
Over her other shoulder, Lucy feels her father's presence. She tightens her grip on Alex. She lets her head fall to Alex's shoulder as the pain overtakes her.
An oppressive blanket descends upon her, muffling all sound, smothering all sensation, and strangling even her thoughts. Until everything goes black.
Dread coils around her, weighing her down, pressing her to the floor. She's only vaguely aware that it's the very molecules of her body that suddenly feel too heavy.
Slowly, one at a time, she feels the tendrils curled around her brain loosen and slither back. The darkness retreats to a blur of colors and shapes and blaring klaxons.
Lucy stumbles to her feet. She can barely tell which of her senses are real. The thick fog of Myriad lingers like the ghost of a grip.
Across the room, she sees Alex scrambling to climb into the cockpit of a dusty old spaceship tucked in a corner. Lucy's heart turns to ice.
"Alex—"
Alex freezes in her tracks. She turns.
Lucy sees it in her face. Alex is a rogue agent of the DEO. She's not technically under Lucy's command.
The defiance melts into regret.
"Lucy, I—"
"Do you even know how to fly one of those things?"
"I have to try," Alex chokes, "I can't—"
Lucy turns to Vasquez, already seated behind a console. "Agent Vasquez, plot Agent Danvers a course that puts her in Myriad's range for the absolute shortest period possible. She's not bringing anyone back if her brain turns to jello."
"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!"
Alex is already in the air when Lucy says over an open channel, "Bring our girl home."
The tiny blip that is Alex inches across the screen. With each blink, a lifetime's worth of fear and regret courses through Lucy. Relief washes through her as it lights up again, and then the whole cycle repeats.
Myriad had left her feeling powerless, yet she'd felt even more helpless watching Alex crawl into that rickety old ship.
Jimmy had watched her go through two tours. He'd never been able to understand why she'd go back to the Army. She hadn't understood then, the dread of being the one who stayed behind.
There's so much time to think, to regret. She and Alex haven't even gone on a proper first date yet. Alex hasn't even gotten a chance to disappoint her father. Could she even fit two people in that ship? Had it been Lucy who'd let her go, or Director Lane?
The speakers overhead crackle to life. She hears Alex's exhale and feels her heart crane for more.
"Have dinner with me tonight, Director Lane?"
She thinks she must have heard wrong, but knows she hadn't when the whole of Ops turns to her. Her father is still behind her.
Her voice is a little tight as she squeezes out anxiety and replaces it with bravado. "Eighteen hundred. Don't be late."
There are a couple of chuckles. It relaxes something inside of her.
"And Agent Danvers?" she adds. "Wear something that shows off those legs."
Alex's breathy laugh makes her ache for more. But all Alex says is, "Copy that."
The room breaks into celebratory cheers and whistles.
Lucy just grips the railing tighter, not taking her eyes off the screens. Before her, Vasquez is the only other person still fixed on the mission. Behind her, she feels her father's hand on her shoulder. The weight of it is nearly a replacement for the words she knows he won't give.
She loses track of the passage of time. Twice, Lucy catches herself with a reminder to breathe. If she had heat vision, she'd have burned a line through the screens following Alex's blip.
Her heart seizes when she hears the thrum of the alien ship's engine again. She fights the desire to rush to the landing pad, instead tightening her grip to where it has migrated to the back of Vasquez's chair.
Alex's landing is nearly picture perfect until the last second; she slips on the controls and brings the nose crashing through the flooring. Her stoic, heroic expression disappears at once, and they can all read the "oh shit" on Alex's lips.
From their station, Vasquez bursts into hysterical laughter. A tired grin makes its way onto Lucy's face as she lets out a heavy exhale. Celebrating this victory sounds less like drinks at the bar and more like a long soak in a bath.
Alex pushes at the canopy when it doesn't open fast enough for her. An agent rushes forward to take an unconscious Supergirl's other arm, and the two of them half drag, half carry Kara to the med bay.
Lucy wants to follow, but she sees the rest of the DEO loitering about like they don't know what to do with themselves. She straightens and starts giving orders instead.
By the time she makes it to the med bay, Kara is awake. Alex is at her side. They talk softly, but the windows provide no privacy.
"I will always come after you," Alex responds. "You're my sister."
She looks so strong, standing at the bedside of the prone hero. The strength slips from her as her shoulders sag.
"You didn't keep me from anything, Kara. I did. I held myself back from being happy because I thought I couldn't have it all. I'm not—I'm not a good person. I've hurt a lot of people."
She looks up suddenly, meeting Lucy's eyes through the glass. Kara leans her forehead into Alex's temple.
"You're my sister," she says. "I will always love you—mistakes, being stupidly brave, and all."
The two of them share a laugh. Kara catches Lucy's eye. She leans close and whispers loud enough for Lucy to hear, "I think she'll forgive you."
Lucy doesn't fight the smile that breaks out on her face. Alex meets her now with a steadiness that had been missing since her return. Alex's hands are full with Kara, so she gestures for Lucy to enter with a tilt of her head.
As soon as she's close enough, without a word, Kara pulls Lucy into their hug. She doesn't understand how the love flows so freely from both sisters. It feels like family.
Alex holds Lucy tight to her shoulder, and Lucy wipes tears away on Alex's sleeve.
Hours pass before they make it out of the DEO. Even after saving the world, the government still has its procedures. Hank and Alex had to be pardoned. Supergirl had to be thanked. The future leadership of the DEO had to be hammered out.
When they finally get away, it's because Kara can barely stay on her feet. Hank sends them off with a knowing smile.
Keeping her more or less grounded, Alex has one arm wrapped around Kara. Her other hand is tangled in Lucy's as she leads them all into a car. They go back to Kara's loft, where Kara knocks out the moment her head hits the pillow. Alex tucks the sheets around her and leaves a kiss on her forehead.
Then Alex looks up and takes Lucy by the hand. She takes Lucy back to her place.
They step inside, the door hasn't even closed yet, and Alex pulls her into her arms. She sets her chin to Lucy's temple.
"Thank you," she whispers.
Lucy buries her face in the side of Alex's neck. She smells like sweat, dust, and that strangely sweet scent of the Kryptonian ship.
"I want to crash in my bed and not wake up again until the middle of next week," Alex says. "But I'm guessing you want to shower first."
It's eerily quiet. The City still reels, and Lucy feels it echo all around her. She wants to scrub Myriad off her skin, even though she knows she'll never scrub it out of her mind.
"C'mon," Alex says as she pulls her deeper into her apartment.
It's the first time Lucy has ever been here. It's another studio, another wide open space, and she wonders why both Danvers sisters seem to hate walls. The bed is enormous, and yet Lucy knows without asking that she's the first girl Alex has ever brought to it.
Alex pulls her toward the bathroom. "I'm sorry I don't have a tub," she says, sounding genuinely apologetic.
Lucy starts to respond but loses her words when Alex strips off her own shirt. Alex starts the water and closes the door behind them.
Her hands are warm where they brush Lucy's skin. With a hand on her lower back, Alex leads her into the shower. The water is hot to the touch, just the way Lucy likes it.
"I've got you," Alex murmurs. "Let me take care of you now."
Lucy closes her eyes. The scent of Alex's shampoo relaxes her. Alex lathers it into her hair and massages it through her scalp. She works in small circles, front to back, from her crown to that soft sensitive spot behind her ears. Every muscle in her body slowly unclenches, and the tension washes out with every pass of Alex's fingers.
Behind her, Alex molds her front to Lucy's back. Lucy lets the last of it go, and Alex holds her up.
When Lucy's eyes flutter open, Alex is sudsing her hands with soap, working up a good foam. She washes Lucy's skin, then follows behind the water with her lips and the tip of her nose like she's inspecting her own work. Every now and then, she'll decide she needs to make a second pass.
They're both too tired for anything more than sleep. Alex pulls out the softest pajamas Lucy has ever felt. They're pastel blue and decorated with waffles. Lucy laughs, and Alex mutters something about the sensitivity of Kryptonian skin.
She doesn't intend to fall asleep right away. But once her head hits the pillow, she's out like a light.
By all rights, they should both sleep clear through the day. But the sky is dark when Lucy wakes up.
In sleep, Alex looks so peaceful. Lucy's fingers tremble along her cheek. Alex does this kind of thing all the time on only a split-second's notice. Alex is always going to jump after a superhero. Lucy had believed, she'd trusted, but she couldn't help that sliver of doubt that had itched at the back of her mind.
Alex blinks awake. She yawns. She starts to smile, but as she takes in Lucy's expression, it turns into a frown.
"What's wrong?"
"Why do you have to be so goddamn brave?" Lucy whispers. "I was terrified."
"I'm not brave," Alex rasps. She clears her throat. "I've never had anything to lose before. But walking away from you was the hardest thing I've ever done."
Alex's hand flattens at Lucy's back. Her fingers are cold to the touch, sending a chill down to Lucy's tailbone.
"But when you let me go, I knew it was going to be alright." Lucy scrunches her brow in confusion at Alex's words. "I knew we were coming back."
Lucy hadn't felt that certainty. "Is this what it would always be like?"
Alex freezes. She starts to pull back, and Lucy realizes that it sounds like the precursor to a breakup. Her palm settles on Alex's jaw.
"I can't ask you not to jump. You wouldn't be you if you didn't jump. But you're always standing next to these beings with superhuman powers, but you…. You're only human."
Though Alex doesn't say anything, there's already defeat seeping in at the corners of her eyes. Her jaw clenches, and Lucy makes her move.
"You're going to need to develop some sort of protocol that has longevity beyond you. A program to identify and train the very best agents to work alongside our alien allies. They save the world on a regular basis. The least we could do is provide the support so they don't have to do it alone. So you don't have to do it alone."
"What are you saying?"
"I've secured a secondment to the DEO. J'onn will still be the director, but I'll be running operations from the desert base. I know it should be you but he's moving into the city proper to better support Supergirl. He wants you as his X.O., and he wants to name you Supergirl's official liaison with the DEO."
Alex gapes at her. "You…. You're…. For me?"
"I've only discussed this informally with J'onn. I'll need to draft a proposal. And I'd like your assistance in identifying candidates and developing a training reg—"
Her words are swallowed by Alex's lips on hers. "You're amazing," Alex mumbles into the kiss.
Her hand slips beneath Alex's shirt. Her fingers follow the same path she'd traced that night in the motel room. She doesn't feel the need for anything more than that. This time, they have time.
They spend it lounging in Alex's giant bed, trading in kisses and stories from the last few weeks. It feels so natural, and for the first time in her life, Lucy's not looking ahead for the next milestone. She's content to just be.
It's as the sun is beginning to set when Kara calls. Alex picks up with a smile that quickly falls off her face.
"Everyone? Mom too?"
Whether she echoes it for Lucy's benefit or her own shock, it sends the adrenaline pumping through Lucy's veins again.
Alex looks at her with a question, and Lucy gives her a firm nod. No one has ever accused her of being a coward.
There's a half block of moldy cheese in Alex's refrigerator. Lucy rustles through Alex's cabinets, past cans of expired soup and dehydrated potato flakes. She's focused on her mission and nothing else when Alex repeats they really don't need to bring anything. Already, Lucy is thinking ahead to which corner stores might be open between Alex's place and Kara's. She's ready to give up and start calling them when she finds something presentable.
They're just getting to the door of Kara's apartment when Lucy comes to a dead stop. She knows Kara could still see and hear them in the hallway if she wanted. But she can't help the sudden fear that freezes her.
"Maybe we should have brought something," she says, turning so suddenly Alex almost crashes into her. Alex's eyes flick down to the bottle of wine in Lucy's hands. "Something more."
"Mom said they were ordering enough to feed Kara twice over."
Alex can be surprisingly dense. Lucy picks at her lip between her teeth.
She rips off the band-aid with, "Are you sure they'll want me here?"
She wants to babble about Cadmus and Myriad, and how much Alex's family should hate her. The anxiety swirls in her gut like a hurricane.
"C'mere." Alex takes Lucy's hand and pulls her into the comforting circle of her arms. "I'm not going to lie. I'm nervous too."
That only makes the storm spin harder. For a moment, she thinks maybe Alex wasn't made for inspirational speeches. Maybe that's the wrong Danvers sister.
"But I'm also excited," Alex says, and Lucy can see the truth of it brimming from her. "I know you've met most of them already, but I want to introduce you to my family as my girlfriend. My sister already loves you. J'onn's given his seal of approval. And I want to show off to my mom, this absolute badass Army lawyer I'm dating. I want them all to see how happy you make me."
Alex kisses her. She lingers, taking her time so Lucy knows there's no rush.
With her face pressed against Alex's neck, she feels Alex's heartbeat pulsing gently against her skin. She lets Alex steady her. She takes a deep breath.
"Okay." She puts her hand in Alex's. "Let's go."
The door opens before they can knock. In Kara's smile, Lucy thinks they'd been spotted in the hallway, but Kara says nothing as she hugs them each in turn. Behind her, the woman Lucy presumes is Alex's mom walks toward them.
She hugs Alex first. Then, she insists on hugging Lucy too. Lucy holds the wine bottle out like a guard, but Alex's mom takes it smoothly from her with one hand and passes it to Alex as her arms come around Lucy's shoulders.
"Mom," Alex says, bouncing on her toes beside them. "This is Lucy Lane, my girlfriend."
Alex's mom pulls back, but she doesn't let go of Lucy's hands. "Welcome," she says with a warm smile. "I'm Eliza. It's nice to finally put a face to the name. I've heard so much about you."
"Mommm," Alex whines. She's a little bit pink in the cheeks, but a smile tugs at the corner of her lips.
"Major." J'onn greets her with a clipped military tone and an extended hand.
From years of conditioning, her heels click together. "Sir," she replies automatically.
When she takes his hand, he pulls her into a hug with a warm laugh. "Please. Call me J'onn," he says like they're friends. "Any friend of Alex's is a friend of mine."
And, that's weird. Had she said that out loud?
He winks at her.
James comes out of the back somewhere, Lucy's not sure where he could've been hiding his tall frame. Even though their last conversation had been right here and rather unpleasant, there's no animosity in the smile he gives her now.
"I'm glad you're part of this family," he says. "I know you'll fit right in."
Alex puts her arm around Lucy and pulls her close until their hips touch. She kisses Lucy on the cheek in front of everyone. "See," she whispers loud enough for everyone to hear. "I told you they'd love you."
It's the easiest family dinner Lucy has ever had.
Months later…
They're in Midvale for a large Danvers' family get-together. It's not immediately clear what an "Earth birthday" is, but everyone has been talking like it's a thing everyone knows, so Lucy has just gone along with it. She's still hoping for a quiet moment with Alex to ask about it.
Kara has been buzzing with excitement all day. Alex puts on a smile, but Lucy knows now that Alex doesn't particularly like large gatherings. She isn't surprised when Alex asks her to walk with her along the beach just before everyone is to arrive.
It's calming. The waves are rhythmic, and the breeze is light. A seagull squawks as it flies away. It's the most peaceful day they've had in the months since Myriad.
Alex is relaxed and chuckling softly at a joke from Lucy. Their joined hands swing lightly between them as they walk back to the house. They take the corner, and Lucy spots the last person she'd ever expected to see on the Danvers' driveway.
"Lois?"
The estranged sister that Lucy hasn't seen in years looks just as shocked as she feels. In her hand, Alex stiffens. She has the distinct feeling that everyone else knows something she doesn't. She's still waiting for the other shoe to drop when Kara runs out of the house and into Clark's arms.
"You came!"
Lucy narrows her eyes. How does he know Kara again? She looks to Alex, pale as a ghost.
There's no car. Just Lois and Clark, standing in the driveway.
She looks sideways at Clark again. Kara starts bouncing around him. He has a vaguely paternal familiarity with her. She's giddy, like the cool but absentee globe-trotting uncle has finally deigned to visit. And Lucy catches the word "flying" in the fast stream of words coming out of Kara's mouth.
That profile. Those stupid glasses, again! How could she have missed it?
She really is such a dupe.
"Clark Kent is Superman." The words feel leaden on her tongue. And Superman is Supergirl's cousin. Which makes Clark Kent, Kara's cousin. And her and Lois….
"So, I guess you're part of the family, little sister," Lois says.
All those times she'd seen Clark around. None of Lucy's boyfriends had ever been good enough for dad, but he'd loved Clark. Lucy had never understood why Lois kept her distance.
"You didn't tell me," Lucy snaps—her first words to her sister in years.
"You didn't tell me you were gay," Lois retorts.
"Bi."
She grips Alex's hand so hard, Alex is going to have to work the circulation back into her fingers later.
"This is new."
Lois' scowl turns into a shit-eating grin. "It's about time you figured yourself out," she says as she saunters past Lucy and into the house.
And… fuck. Why did Lois always have to be so infuriating? Why did everyone in her life have to know about her before she did?
Clark and Kara walk past at a normal human speed. "Lucy, uh," Clark stutters. He fiddles with his glasses.
"You can drop the act, Clark. I know you're Superman," she sighs.
He looks confused for a moment. He opens his mouth to deny it, but Kara bumps him in her hurry to get him into the house. He catches his glasses before they fall off, and that moment of total panic on his face confirms it for Lucy.
Before Kara pulls him away, he manages a "I'm happy for you and Alex," in his awkward Clark Kent voice.
Kara's excited chattering fades as Lucy turns back to Alex, pale as a ghost. Her eyes are squeezed shut.
"I… I should've told you. I'm sorry. They don't come around that often and I didn't even think—"
"No." Lucy stops her with a hand on her chest. Alex has always lived with so many secrets, both hers and not. Lucy can't imagine that weight. "These aren't your secrets. Lois and I… we'll probably never have what you and Kara do. But that's okay. Anyway, it might be nice to have some sort of relationship with her again."
"You're not mad?" Alex looks at her like she isn't sure whether she has dodged a bullet, or if the volcano is still yet to blow.
Lucy isn't entirely sure what she feels. "I'm… disappointed mostly, I think. At myself. For not figuring it out sooner. Maybe a little resentful of Lois, but that's nothing new."
It must be a curse of her broken family that she can't seem to have a relationship with both her father and her sister at the same time. She and the General had fallen out again after he'd revealed the depth of his involvement with Project Cadmus. She now wonders if that's the reason why Lois won't talk to him.
All these secrets. They only serve to divide and hurt.
"I'm not upset at you," Lucy says. "Promise."
She tugs Alex closer, hands coming up behind Alex's neck to pull her down. Alex's hands fall to her waist to bring their bodies flush together.
From the house, Lucy hears Lois' shrill voice like she's a teenager again. "Hey! You two lovebirds! Get in here!"
She presses her forehead into Alex's chin with a huff. "That's not familiar," she grumbles.
Alex takes her hand. She pulls Lucy toward the house. "C'mon," she says with a soft smile. "It's family time."