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Chapter Text

He looked at his hand getting buried inside the chest of the fallen dragon as if through a dream. His large fingers were unable to wrap around the enormous heart of the beast. With a visceral growl his other hand followed inside and got a good grip of it. The thundering roars of his soldiers were barely heard as the buzz in his ears was still ringing hard after this ruthless showdown in front of the Mithril Forge. The blood running plentiful down his chest, staining his very long beard that had come undone, went unnoticed by him.

Not by Lis though, who was trying to push through all the soldiers that seemed to have gone wild from the blood of war. “Durin!” She bellowed, but her voice was muted by the hectic booms of victory reverberating upon the ancient stone walls.

His eyelids closed heavily and for a brief moment….only for a single one he felt a soft tremor of the beast’s heart between his fingers. A howl of fury tore through his chest as he pulled with all his might. The heart ripped with an eruption of blood that drenched him whole as he stumbled back. He looked down at it almost mesmerized, half expecting it to twitch again.

Waiting to feel it…under a spell. 

“Durin!!!” Lis’ howls still went unheard as she struggled to reach him.

Nothing…there was nothing from it anymore. No beating, not pumping blood through the powerful body of the dragon, not making its lungs contract in order to spit out the fires of hell upon Durin’s men. At that thought he turned around overcome, needing to check how many fell in their fight to bring down this beast that came out of the inaccessible drifts that were passing under Durin’s Way.

The moment he faced his soldiers the frantic roars of victory instantly seized and an apprehensive upsurge of silence trundled through his men. Lis who had managed to break through the first lines, stopped panting and looked up at him. Standing like a giant amongst his men, with his azure eyes blazing behind his long hair that was dripping blood. His strong hands cradling the Dragon’s heart and his lips pulled back to show his gritted teeth. Three diagonal scratches run deep from his shoulder down to his chest, staining the floor with his own sacred blood.

He may have thrust Orcrist through the Dragon’s skull killing it after hours of fighting alongside his men, but the beast had left its mark upon him nonetheless. Lis looked at his deep wounds and was instantly pulled out of the enchantment he had placed them in with his phenomenal triumph. “Durin?” She asked and suddenly her voice resounded around the tall cavern way too loudly, making her jolt.

His name being called inside this eerie silence made him blink lost. He felt as if someone pulled him out of the iciest depths without warning. A low growl blossomed at the depths of his chest and when it reached his mouth it suddenly morphed into a primitive holler that vibrated around the cavern raising the hair on every soldier’s arms. He lifted the heart on his face and took a bite out of it before throwing it to his men. The first ones grasped it with a look of terror and every pair of eyes turned to him.

Cold-blooded and totally detached he chewed the heart and swallowed it. Then he wiped his face with the back of his hand and looked down to his men. A few seconds rolled by where no one moved. Then suddenly a voice came from the crowd.

“From here on you shall be named Durin the Dragonheart!”

That is when the bowels of the earth opened up for all of them. The whole cavern erupted with a drive, which was a fusion of enthusiasm and fury incomparable. “Dragonheart, Dragonheart!” The name thudded like it owned a heart itself….pulsating through the crowd. Feeding it with life.

The soldiers that had participated in killing the dragon and the one’s that joined soon after laughed, cried, yelled and passed the Dragon’s heart along. Everyone painted their faces and arms with its blood and when that run dry they rushed over to the beast’s body in order to get christened in its blood like their Prince had done.

However no one dared take a bite of that heart. That honor was left to their Master.

Durin nodded left and right, shaking the hands of his men, accepting their congratulations as he hurried towards the fallen men with Lis on his tail.

“You are bleeding heavily.” Lis said in a low tone as he knelt next to one of the men that took part in the fight. A large gush had torn his stomach in two. A couple of men were trying to stop the bleeding.

“Take him back to the Eastern Drift! Call the medics! We need help here!” He yelled and instantly several of his men came to his assistance.

“Get everyone who is wounded away from the Crossroads. Make sure all the bridges are sealed off towards the Orc Tunnels! Raise the gates behind the Shadowed Caves! Send men down the drifts under Durin’s Walk to check for more hidden beasts. Seal the Mithril Forge and every path that leads straight into the Mountain depths towards the North! Cut all the exits towards the West!” He thundered and everyone rushed to do his bidden, forgetting the blood of war this showdown had awoken in them.

“Durin….” Lis made another attempt.

He turned and it was as if he was looking at her for the first time. He reached out and grasped her by the arms. Then he looked at her from the top of her head down to her boots. “Are you alright?”

She clasped back his forearms. “I am unharmed, but look at yourself.” Her eyes fell on his chest.

“That is good.” He mumbled lost and then hastened after his men, doing exactly what he had ordered them to do. Without any consideration for himself, much like his father in the past, he forgot all about this new triumph and helped bring back the wounded to the Zabusha Halls, between the Shadow Caves and Mazarbul’s chambers.

As for Lis, she had little to no chance of making him listen, so as always she followed him in order to offer her assistance. Torn between her pride for him and her ultimate worry, she endured quietlyt until he felt secure enough that all the orders he had given were followed, the men who were wounded were given the proper treatment and the dead were being taken care of according to their customs.

-.-

It was several hours later that he finally settled at the chambers he had been using as his offices/rooms, west of Durin’s bridge. He sat down heavily on an armchair and leaned his head back, feeling all the exhaustion suddenly overwhelming him. Somewhere along the way he had managed to lose Lis, which was alright by him. She had the tendency to smother him with her attentiveness even though he valued her loyalty more than words could say.

His muscles begun to relax for the first time since he woke up this morning to the cries of his men about a beast that arose from the drifts close to the newly discovered Mithril forge. As he cooled down he slowly started to feel the pain from his upper chest becoming more and more annoying until he was forced to check on it.

He looked down and flinched. The blood had stopped, but his torn tunic was sticking inside the fresh gashes, irritating them…and driving him mad. He straightened upon his chair and slowly begun taking them apart piece by piece. That is when the door knocked. He didn’t look up from his work as he called them to enter.

Lis appeared under the tall archway. “Come….come Osgruri he is here.” She led the best medic of Khazad Dum inside.

Durin looked over his shoulder and his black brows met angrily. “Why did you bring him here for? He is not needed.”

“That is what you think.” -Lis exhaled audibly and engaged Osgruri’s elbow. Leading him to the Prince – “Come on now, don’t dither.”

When the medic approached he fell on his knees and placed his fist over his heart. “I heard of your victory my Lord! I am humbled to be in your presence and proud to call you my Master. Durin Dragonheart!”

The reverence in the man’s voice wasn’t lost in Durin. “Stand up Osgruri for heaven’s sake. I can do without your sentimentalism or her concern. Have you checked the wounded men? I need a report on them. You are the head medic after all. As for you Lis, go check the situation on the Mithril Forge. I want to make sure we don’t have any new surprises before the sun sets.”

“We are going not going anywhere until we check on you first. Have you seen yourself?” Lis frowned.

“For battling a bloody dragon since the break of dawn, I look very well. Thank you.” Durin responded dryly.

Lis looked at the medic. Then she nudged him. “What are you waiting for then?”

“The Prince doesn’t want me to check on him.” Osgruri said carefully.

“So what? Do you think he is going to bite your head off if you try?” Lis frowned.

“He bit down on the heart of a Dragon! My head is just a grub for him!” The medic rebuked in terror.  

Durin’s lips upturned in a tired smile, which Lis recognized instantly. She pushed the medic over. “Fix this mess on him before I force you down the drift to check on any remaining dragons myself!”

Osgruri approached with care, as if fearing that Durin would snap at him at any moment. When he saw no reactions he brought over a stool and sat next to him in order to work.

Durin turned indifferently towards Lis. “You won’t rest until you do things your way, will you?”

“You have three claw marks the size of my bloody thigh on your chest, you have been battling with a Dragon for hours and you haven’t eaten anything besides a small bite of its heart….” Lis flayed her hands around.

Durin snorted at that.

“What do you expect me to do? Allow you to fall flat in your face?” –Lis raised her brows- “Come to think of it that won’t be a bad thing at all.” She mused in an afterthought.

“Don’t be cruel, it doesn’t suit you.” –Durin raised his brow- “Come to think of it, it does.”

“You worried me today!” She raised her finger at him.

“Well, excuse me. I didn’t do it on purpose.” He exhaled fatigued.

The medic slowly cleaned around the claw marks with a clean towel and that is when Lis realized that two of them extended to the side of his neck. One had cut through his jawline, creating a deep red ravine in his thick beard. “Oh, great you ruined your face….look at that….” She closed in.

He touched the side of his beard and pressed his lips. “Well….”

“How am I going to take you back to Erebor in this mess? Your poor mother is going to freak out when she sees you.” Lis paled even at the thought.

“So I should have allowed my men to deal with the Dragon so my mother doesn’t worry?” Durin turned to her emphatically.

“All I am saying is that you are asking for trouble. You are only thirty and you look more like a hundred. You look as if you have collided with a Stone Giant. Most men your age are untouched. Still growing their beards.” Lis crossed her arms.

“Prince Dragonheart is not just any man.” Osgruri said quietly.

Durin turned to him thoughtfully. The medic gazed at him nervously and offered him a wide smile, before resuming his work. “When I woke up this morning I intended to make sure the reclaimed areas are secure and then fix my satchel and depart Lis. I never thought I’d wake up to a bloody Dragon tearing the Mithril Forge to pieces.”

Lis exhaled and looked at her heavy boots. “I know, but you are pushing too hard sometimes. Why did you have to venture past Durin’s Way this last month? Haven’t we secured enough of Khazad Dum already?”

Durin tilted his head. “Barely a third of it. We have a long way to the West gates and that way is the longest. We haven’t even see my Bane yet.”

“Which you intend to fight also, if I judge by what you did with the Dragon today.” Lis’ eyes seemed accusing.

“That might claim much more than part of my beard.” Durin said with a small smile as he leaned his head back.

“If you had left alone that Northern part of the Halls we wouldn’t have woken up the Dragon.” Lis rejoined pointedly.

“The point is to reclaim the whole Kingdome if you have forgotten.” Durin closed his eyes.

“Not at the risk of losing you. What will your father say when he learns you battled a damned dragon? Especially when a similar one send him and your people in exile for years on end.” Lis emptied herself to an armchair across from him.

“I’d hope he will feel pride.”

Lis exhaled and rubbed her forehead. “He will my Master. We all do….but some of us are dearly worried. You see we value your life more than this Kingdom. Your father and mother are amidst those people…so are your siblings.”

“And so are your people my Lord.” Osgruri threw in his two cents without daring to stare at his leader’s face.

Durin run his fingers through his bloody beard, only then realizing that it had come undone. “Still the final decision is up to me. Neither on my parents or my people.” He said somberly.

Lis’ eyes welled and she looked away quickly. “This kind of stubbornness will cost all of us dearly.”

“Stop pondering the end of the world. We are not omnipotent.” He said and made an attempt to braid it.

Lis reached out and pushed his hands away. “Don’t do that now. You need to clean yourself from all this blood first.”

Durin pursed his lips and threw her an eloquent glance that she disregarded. She sat back and looked at the dying embers on his fireplace. They stayed in silence until Osgruri finished. He checked the cleanly dressed wound with a critical eye. “I think that will be alright my Lord, but I need to check on it daily. It needs to be changed.”

“If things remain calm I depart the next three days for Erebor.” Durin said thoughtfully.

“Then you must have someone at the road who will be able to help you clean it up.”

“I will be with him. Tell me what to do.” Lis said.

Durin observed them for a couple of moments as the medic explained to his bodyguard the details of keeping a wound clean and then he closed his eyes. He would have pulled an all-nighter right there by the empty fireplace, but the closing of the door made him jerk upright.

Lis came over and sat at the arm of his chair. Then she touched his bloody beard. “You look awful.”

He cringed and closed his eyes again. “Leave me alone.”

The silence from her was long. “But I am damned proud of what you did today.” Her voice was hushed.

His eyes opened up slightly. “So are you done berating me?”

Lis pursed her lips. “I do it, because I care….but never doubt…I am honored to call you my King.”

Durin humphed. “I am not a King yet….”

Lis’ lips turned down.

“And to be honest I am not sure I am worthy of the title.” His voice was muted.

Another long drawn silence came from her. He felt her hand caressing the end of his beard gently. “Is that why you accepted the name Dragonheart?”

He didn’t open his eyes, but his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.

She looked at him attentively. “You are Deathless…and yet you accepted another name.”

“I am not him….” He said quietly.

The silence from her was heavy. Her fingers stilled on his beard.

“My father thinks I am….the whole of Erebor believes I am….the Northern alliance depends on that knowledge. Only Khazad Dum, the broken Kingdom of our forefather decided to offer me another name. It is wiser than all.” His brows creased ever so slightly.

Lis looked down and her hand left his beard and touched the center of his chest. She didn’t dare speak.

He inhaled deeply and cupped her hand tightly. “I am afraid to disappoint all those people, but I am not the Deathless Lis. I never saw my Crown in Mirrormere. My father….I love him dearly…but he was mistaken. He…We have given false hope to our people by offering this sacred name to me.”

Lis turned her hand around and stippled her fingers through his. “No…stop.” She murmured and leaned her forehead on his burning temple.

“I am speaking of the truth. I know it….I feel it in my bones. I am Farin….I have always been him. Whenever I tried to be the reincarnation of our forefather…I failed…I became another person…someone I didn’t like. Only when I am here…in this torn Kingdom….when my men can accept me for who I truly am….do I have the freedom to admit…to you….and only to you….that I am not him. I will never be him.” Durin said calmly.

Lis tried to pull his large hand to her mouth, but he did so first. She inhaled sharply when his lips touched her skin. “I am sorry for failing you Lis….”

“You never did!” -She pulled her hand away and touched the sides of his face lightly- “You don’t understand…maybe you never will….but you never failed me….you have become more than anything I have….We have ever dreamed!”

He sighed deeply. “I cannot take back the name Farin….I must trudge on as Durin, but I will not do it as the Deathless anymore. Today I killed a Dragon…as Farin. That felt ….both liberating and forsaken.”

Lis leaned down and her forehead touched his. “Durin….whoever you are…you are my Master, my Lord, my brother, my King and I will be honored to die for you….we will all be honored to die for you! The Orcs of Khazad Dum fear you…they dread hearing your name. They quiver in their boots when they listen to our trumpets. After today….after today your name will be written next to the greatest legends of our kin!” She spoke through gritted teeth.

His large palm cupped her cheek. “Then let that name be written down as Durin the Dragonheart, not the Deathless…I beg you.”

Lis closed her eyes and nodded. “As you wish my Master.” She whispered overwhelmed.

He smiled. “That is what I wish.”

She allowed him several moments to calm down and then drew back. “Come let me help you clean up. You need it.”

Durin allowed her to lead him to the adjoining bathroom, which offered the bare minimum but it was more than enough. She closed the door and stood guard on it until he finished. He changed into fresh clothes and came out. When she saw his clean but wet beard she sat him down at the office chair and begun braiding it for him. “Now you almost look normal again.” She said with a smile.

 She had barely clasped a golden bead on his beard, when the door knocked.

“Come.” He called and she drew back respectfully.

The door opened and four of his Commanders came in carrying something round and heavy in a blanket. “My Lord.” They bowed deeply.

He stood up and walked around his office. “Have you secured all the bridges? Sealed all the gates?”

“Yes my Lord.” -Balarin his first Commander pushed his first above his heart- “everything is secure.”

“No intruders when the walls of the Crossroads collapsed?” Durin frowned.

“Nothing. We are raising new gates at this moment.” Ragnar the second Commander rejoined heavily.

“Before you do, carve the Dragon’s body with the Prince’s name and then throw it over the Crossroads. Let those filths find it and fear….” Lis added with a grin of smugness she was unable to hide.

All the Commanders bowed in unison. “It will be an honor!”

Durin ignored Lis’ need to terrorize the Orcs. “Have you checked the chambers around the Mithril Forge? The Drift?”

“Yes my Lord everything was clear….but….we found this…in one of the chambers towards the East. The more obscure ones.” Borin, the last Commander said and they brought forth the blanket.

“What is it?” Durin frowned as they placed it upon his desk.

They pulled back the cloth to reveal a large egg of an ember color with golden highlights.

“What in the name of….” Lis’ eyes grew huge.

Durin reached out and touched it gingerly. “Is this what I think it is?” He whispered.

“A Dragon’s egg, my Lord. The only one we found. We combed the area for more…but found nothing.” Balarin said with a bowed head.

Durin’s hand twitched and he suddenly felt that last heartbeat of the Dragon on his fingertips. A ghostly feeling that made him gasp. His fingers curled up in a tight fist and he pulled his hand back abruptly. “The Dragon….she was….a mother….” He muttered overwhelmed.

No one spoke behind him.

His eyes suddenly gained a clarity no one noticed and he took a step back. “We killed…I…killed a mother?”

Lis looked up sharply at that. “You couldn’t have known. That beast arose from the Drift with ill intentions. It killed several of our men…wounded many more….”

“You saved our people, my Lord….” Ragnar said quietly behind him.

The deep reverence in his voice made Durin frown.

“What do you wish for us to do with this? Should we throw it back into the Drift? It will not survive without its mother anyway.” Borin asked.

The silence from Durin fell like a heavy blanket in his offices, making everyone look around them concerned. The Prince’s gaze fell upon the Dragon egg with immeasurable sadness. “Cancel the Captain’s orders about the Dragon’s body. Offer it a burial outside the Eastern Gates, close to Mirrormere. The egg will travel back to Erebor with me.” He said soberly.

Lis frowned, but didn’t dare say intervene.

His Commanders bowed. “At your orders.” Then they walked towards the door when Durin’s voice stopped them.

“I shall not be named Dragonheart from now on….” He lingered heavily.

They turned to him with a frown.

“I will be named Dragonheir.” He added quietly.

They all lowered their heads humbly.

“Dismissed.” He said without looking at them.

When the door closed Lis approached. “Durin?” She touched his shoulder carefully.

“I always think that whatever I do is for the good of our people…but I end up hurting others who are not at any fault….” He turned to her with haunted eyes.

Lis squeezed his shoulder tightly. “You think you could have befriended the Dragon mother? She would have killed us all.”

Durin shook his head.  

Lis turned to the egg. “Why do you want to take this to Erebor?”

“Because I killed its mother. Now I have an obligation to help it live.” Durin’s eyes fell on her penetratingly.

Lis tilted her head and clasped his shoulder. “We don’t know how to raise Dragons. Actually Dwarves and Dragons had always been enemies to the death.”

He pressed her hand. “So were Elves and our kin, but my father turned things around. Maybe it is my turn to do so with another kind.”

“That is a Dragon in there….not Elves or Men…” Lis said flabbergasted.

“And so it is my dear Lis…” He offered her a cautious smile that made her heart complain.

Lis shook her head. “Cannot imagine what your poor father will say when you bring home a baby Dragon….honestly.”

Durin covered the egg. “It will be interesting to find out I think.”

“Your sister Ida is going to go crazy I am sure.” Lis smirked.

“My little tomboy?” -Durin’s smile blossomed into something so gorgeous that Lis felt her cheeks blushing- “Maybe Thrarin will be more enthusiastic than her. Especially as of late….”

“Still being tutored by the Brown Wizard in the care of nature and its beasts?” Lis reciprocated his smile.

“That is the last news I had from Roac’s Lieutenants.”

Lis crossed her arms and leaned against his frugal desk. “Who would have thought he’d end up being such a peace seeking soul….when he first started following you at the missions of Khazad Dum I thought he’d follow you to the last battle sword at hand.”

“My brother loves me…he always wanted to please me. When I decided to reclaim the Dwarrowdelf he followed me in order…to please me. Not because being a soldier was in his blood. Don’t misunderstand me…Thrarin is a second to none swordsman…but his heart was always invested in peace…nature…the Elves…you know all that by now. After Granpa lost his arm in battle….When Thrarin saw that….it tore a piece of his soul away.” Durin stopped and a shadow covered his handsome brow.

Lis reached out and caressed his forearm. “I know.”

“Thrarin didn’t want to return to the battle field. He followed his heart…which led him to the Elves and the Wizards. I commend him about that. I admire him….” Durin rejoined solemnly.

“And so is Tauriel from what I reckon.” Lis’ smile was playful.

Durin gave her a side-eye. “As long as my brother is happy….then so am I.”

“But are you truly….are you even ever happy?” Lis frowned.

Durin’s eyes borrowed heavily in hers. He didn’t answer.

Lis looked at the floor and nibbled her bottom lip for a few moments. “Will we go straight to Erebor?”

He walked around the office and sat heavily on his chair. “We pass through Lothlorien first.”

Lis pursed her lips. “Of course.”

“You have a problem with that?” His gaze was heavy.

“No…no problem at all. She has been giving you a heartache for the last decade….but I have no problem with that….Why would I?” Lis couldn’t have sounded more annoyed.

His fine countenance closed up and his chin dropped low. Several black tendrils came to hide part of his captivating eyes. “Her father is causing us the heartache…not Celebriel.”

“Does it really matter? You have been going back and forth with her for more than ten years….not managing to get a footing with her family. Elrohir shuns you whenever you appear…” Lis spat vexed.

Durin kept his heavy gaze upon her. “And that is supposed to stop me from going?”

Lis stood up angrily. She threw her hands in the air. “No…of course not! The mighty Durin being ignored by half of Lothlorien just because of Celebriel’s father….why would he be bothered about that.”

“Those who matter to me….always respected and had my back in there. I don’t care about anything else.” Durin rejoined calmly.

Lis exhaled roughly and looked at him. “You will end up with a broken heart in the end Durin. The Elves don’t have our loyalty. When the time comes she will choose her family….her magic…her kin….over you.”

“Then let her do so….” He rebuked hard.

“And then what?” Lis’ eyes filled with sorrow.

“Then nothing....it will be over.” Durin’s voice became softer at those words.

“For her no…but for you it will. You have pledged yourself to her. She is your One. When she rejects you…you will have lost your one and only chance in love.” Lis’ eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Durin’s eyes fixated on her. “And what do you propose I do then?”

“Go straight to Erebor. Take this egg and scare your father out of his wits with it! Overlook Lothlorien for once! Go back home….forget her…and then ……” Lis stumbled for words.

“Then what Lis? Will I find another One? Will I forget her this easily perchance?” Durin shook his head feeling let down.

“Why not? You are young adult…! You have all your life ahead of you! You are so handsome, regal, strong, clever and wise beyond your years….do you have any idea how many dwarrowdams fawn over you? How many Elven Maidens besides Celebriel?” Lis rejoined fervently.

Durin sighed and rubbed his forehead. “You have been against this relationship for so many years now. Aren’t you tired?”

“Of it? Oh yes I am….”

“Of pestering me about it?” Durin reprimanded.

Lis looked at his exhausted face. Then her eyes moved to the side of his jawline, where the red scar of the Dragon’s claw mark was clearly visible. Her heart complained ever so slightly. “I speak this way because I care for you….deeply.”

“And I care about you…but please give this a rest. I have enough trouble as it is.” Durin’s quiet tone dowsed her anger.

Lis looked away and gave him a curt nod. “So let’s go to Lothlorien. I could do with a little bit of tranquility after all this hell.”

Durin sighed deeply. “Thank you.”

“Shall I send the ravens to Erebor and let them know about the Dragon?”

“No…I want this to be a surprise for my father.” Durin’s lips formed a ghostly smile.

Lis looked towards his bandaged shoulder. “Will you rest at all?”

“I will. Do a round of the bridges and passes for me will you?”

“Sure.” Lis replied.

“I will visit the wounded. Before you go, I want you to write letters of condolences with my signature to the families of the dead. Send them to Erebor with the Ravens. Tell them we shall bring back the bodies for burial in two weeks as the crow flies.” He said.

Lis nodded sadly. “Of course.”

Durin leaned back to his chair and caressed the long braid on his beard. His eyes turned towards the Dragon egg and there they remained as Lis sat across from him in order to write the letters for Erebor.

-.-

In Rhosgobel, at the borders of Mirkwood Thrarin was leaning over a doe that had a broken back leg. It had been chased by wolves that came hungry from the south of Rhovanion. He discarded his bow and arrow soon after killing two of the four wolves that had chased this poor soul close to the Brown Home. He looked up at Tauriel that was alighting from her horse. “Can you come hold her for me?”

Tauriel rushed over and knelt down. “Of course. Do you want me to bring over a piece of wood? We can try to fix its leg, if only temporarily. Until Radagast returns.”

“No…wait for me. I think I can do it.” Thrarin said and run inside the wizard’s house.

Tauriel looked around her at the silent forest. It had been so full of life a few minutes before the wolves appeared. So many animals had gathered around Thrarin as she observed them with the sweetest smile on her lips. The little boy with the red hair and the huge blue eyes that was so delightful and fun to be around…..had grown up to become a strong Dwarf of long fiery hair and azure eyes that had the same disconcerting nature as that of his father’s.

If not more….especially for her…lately….. On that thought a wave of guilt overwhelmed her. When Thrarin was born and showed so much interest in Mirkwood, the Elves and nature….she simply saw him as a young boy….a charming creature that she loved spending time with. Teaching him how to respect the world around them. How to work alongside of it. Yet time never stands still does it?

It never does….

Time rolls by…mercilessly for all of them…and with that come changes. So now in the stead of the charming young boy, she saw a striking Dwarf coming out of Radagast’s Home carrying several sacred stones in his hands. With his long red hair waving around him and his handsome face troubled by the Doe’s misfortune. The beard on his face, thick, but slightly darker than his hair as was his expressive brows.

Tauriel looked away with another pang of guilt twisting her stomach. She had never imagined that one day she would be able to label another Dwarf after Kili as striking….not only in appearance but also in character…yet there she was.

A fool….that keeps on making the same mistakes…

Torn between what had been lost…and what was…in front of her. Feeling angry at herself…full of guilt…remorse…and bitterness….but also of admiration as she observed Thrarin kneeling down and using Radagast’s stones more adeptly than she would have ever expected someone of his kin to ever be with magic. There she was then, a creature of endless wisdom, hundreds of years old… appreciative of a young Dwarf’s ability to become gentler with nature than her kin. So different from his kinsmen….

So exceptional…..

As Thrarin’s well-formed lips whispered incantations long forgotten…known only by the Maia, she felt goosebumps chasing her skin. Her hand wrapped around Kili’s moonstone and she closed her eyes. Her mouth offering the doe…or Thrarin prayers under her breath. And slowly without either of them realizing several animals walked out of the forest and surrounded them. Curious as to what the apprentice of the Brown Wizard was doing.

When Thrarin finished he placed the stones on his lap and caressed the doe’s head. Then his hand slid down to its back leg and felt around the previously broken bone. As if sensing the difference the doe jerked. That made Tauriel open her eyes with a gasp. “How is it?” She whispered.

Thrarin patted its back gently and the creature jerked upright with a bleat. “Come on my love….” He whispered with a depth in his voice that caused more goosebumps on the skin of the Elven warrior.

The doe wobbled on its feet for a couple of moments. When it felt no pain, it jumped a couple of times and then got lost into the woods of Mirkwood. Tauriel covered her smiling mouth and her hand released Kili’s token. “You healed it!” She whispered happily.

Thrarin sat down heavily and looked at the animals that had gathered around them. “I think I did….” He said in disbelief.

“Oh, if Radagast could have seen that he would have been enthused!” Her smile was bright.

“Don’t tell him I used his stones! He is going to kill me!” Thrarin got suddenly animated.

“But he is training you with them…” Tauriel frowned puzzled.

“He doesn’t believe I am ready for them though.” Thrarin raised his brows and looked towards a couple of squirrels that were smelling his leather trousers.

“Well apparently you are. The doe looked perfectly well.” Tauriel shrugged as she sat down also. She tried to tickle the tail of a squirrel and it chirped at her.

“Let’s keep this a secret…between us.” He winked at her.

She felt her lips upturning to another effortless smile. “Why not.”

“We need to get rid of these dead wolves.” Thrarin frowned as he looked at them.

“I will help you, don’t worry.” Tauriel smiled again as a small bird landed on her finger.

“They had a lot of nerve coming so close to the Brown Home. I thought predators avoided this location.” Thrarin said reflectively.

“They were either scared away from their lands…or found it impossible to get food. There are some shady things going on in the South and Lorien is not enough to stop them. I heard that Isengard is filled with gloom lately. So much so that the worries of Rohan is finally passing through to your father.” Tauriel’s features filled with shadows.

“Saruman worries Erebor, but as long as he belongs to the White council my father cannot oppose him.” Thrarin pursed his lips.

“Will you tell Radagast the Grey wolves ventured so close to Mirkwood?” Tauriel looked at him thoughtfully.

“Yes, but not that they attacked the doe…nor that I used his stones to cure it.” His smile was playful.

Tauriel found it difficult not to reciprocate. It took her a few moments to voice her thoughts. “You know when you were a baby….I saw your inclination towards the woods…and the animals…but I would have never guessed this outcome…”

Thrárin’s blue eyes turned to her. “You expected me to become a warrior? Like my father and my brothers?”

She perceived the slight tone of cynicism in his tone. “Yes…but I was not disappointed that you didn’t become one. Contrary to what you may think…I admire what you did now much more.”

He turned to her with a deep frown that offered his usually calm demeanor a much more serious expression. “Admire me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Tauriel said softly.

“The son of the mighty Oakenshield…the brother of Durin the Deathless…training to become a healer…a Maia trainee….longing to be surrounded by nature more than people. I am sure that is not the fate my father expected out of me.” The dissapointment was clear in these words.

“A Maia trainee that is taller than most Dwarves and strong as a bull? A man who broke the neck of one of these beasts with his bare hands…a moment before healing that doe? A man who handles the sword and arrow as well as Radagast’s stones? Oh…believe me…I can really admire such a man and I am not the only one.” Tauriel said quietly.

His eyes found hers and he saw the honesty in them. A faded smile appeared under his red beard. “Thank you. Those words mean a lot.”

“Yet they don’t make you smile as brightly as I would have liked.” She reached out and touched his knee gently, making the squirrels climb down his leg and rush into the forest.

“I should have been in Khazad Dum…defending my brother against hoards of Orcs Tauriel. Not here, healing wounded animals.” He wrapped his arms around his bend knee.

She looked musingly towards his muscular forearms. “It takes more courage to save a life, than to take one.”

Thrarin smiled. “I have heard that before.”

“But you don’t believe it?”

“I believe in what I am doing with all my heart. I know that I am where I belong….but I also know that I have disappointed both my father and my brothers. Durin is fighting for his Kingdom since before adulthood. His feats of arms are incomparable considering the youth of his age. The man is unstoppable…and fearless. His name echoes in the Misty Mountains scaring Orcs left and right….clans of Orcs that have never even come across him still dread his reputation. Orin is training hard under Uncle Dain, who professes the boy is going to become the strongest soldier of our kind….after Durin. My sister Rhiannaye has become one of the best minds of the Northern Kingdom. She is running the Elder libraries with a hand of steel and she can understand the Elder Scrolls and the law better than my father. Her intellect is formidable and respected by even the oldest members of our clans. That is why she became his first confidant after Balin. As for Ida….she wants to follow Lis’ steps and become Durin’s best warrior….not that father will ever let her. You see she is the apple of his eye….especially since all his other children have come to their own……” Thrarin looked at her broodingly.

Tauriel looked calmly towards the forest bed that was full of autumn leaves. “Well…”

“Well…through all that…The King of the North has a son who doesn’t want anything to do with fighting…but only wishes to protect animals and nature from the cruelty of men.”

“An honorable task that must be undertaken by a kind and loving soul…a soul worthy of every respect from all.” Tauriel frowned towards him.

Thrarin turned to her and sighed. “Such kind words…”

“And meant from the heart.” She nudged his knee with her finger gently.

He smiled.

“Do you think your father doesn’t admire you then?” Tauriel continued quietly. Not wanting to disturb the peaceful activity of the forest around them.

“He says that he does….”

“You sound as if you don’t believe him…yet I do.” Tauriel rejoined.

He looked at her with those kind blue eyes that always enticed smiles out of her.

“Not only did he allow you to train under Aiwendil, but he permitted you to reside with him in Rhosgobel for as long as you wish. That doesn’t sound like a father who doesn’t agree with your choices.” Tauriel reasoned.

“That’s true.” Thrarin frowned.

“Durin never guilt tripped you to follow him to Khazad Dum after your Grandfather’s accident and the last time Othin visited you here…he seemed rather interested in your training and taken by your ability to approach animals so easily.” Tauriel continued.

Thrarin released a deep sigh.

“As for your poor mother….I haven’t seen a woman more proud to have such a son as yourself. She cannot stop talking about you wherever she happens to be. Praising your gentle soul and manners….your instinctual ability to understand the world….your aptitude to handle ancient magic. I think you are the Queen’s favorite son.” Tauriel smiled as she searched his expressions.

Thrarin’s face slowly lit up.

“Am I wrong?” Tauriel’s finger nudged his knee again and she shifted closer to him without even realizing.

“Mother….I mean I think I have taken from her the most….probably only from her….apart from the eyes….” Thrarin smiled at her.

She leaned her head on her knee as her finger begun tracing the rune that was shown upon his trousers. “You have taken after the kindest, brightest, most loving soul to have ever entered Middle Earth…apart from Arwen….”

Thrarin looked at her finger with a musing smile. “You always have a way of brightening up my mood….you know that don’t you?”

She lifted her eyes to him. “You do the same for me….with your charismatic personality…ever since you were a baby.”

He leaned over and reached out to touch Kili’s token. “Have you been to see him lately?” His voice turned several tones deeper and that made her shudder.

She closed her eyes. “Haven’t been for a long time. I feel guilty for that.”

“It’s been more than thirty years.” He mused.

“And yet not more than a few minutes for me, considering how many years I have been walking this earth.” She replied softly.

He pushed the token and allowed it to swing for a few moments before he looked back at her hand that was now resting on his thigh. “Have you ever considered taking the token off?”

She felt her whole body tensing at the thought. “No…never.” Her voice sounded coarse.

“Why not?” Thrarin leaned over his knee also. Mimicking her without even realizing.

She begun scratching the rune of his trousers again as she spoke. “I don’t know if I can….” She whispered and felt her eyes welling.

He lowered his hand and brought the tip of his finger inches from hers. “I cannot pretend that I know what you have been through Tauriel….”

“I know.” She replied mesmerized as his fingertip touched hers just barely.

“But maybe you should finally move on…. You have so much life ahead of you.”

The quiet calmness of his voice made her eyes water anew. “I never had a chance with him….never…” Her voice was extinguished.

His finger stilled there, barely touching hers, but not making another move. The profoundness his eyes had gained was lost in her.

“I met him….I fell for his teasing nature instantly…and then I lost him….in a moment….and I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t save him….” Tauriel’s voice broke.

“An unrequited love….” Thrarin turned his eyes towards the small critters that were busing themselves around the forest.

Tauriel nodded gently.

“A soul still full of grief and guilt. So overburdened.” Thrárin’s eyes turned to her thoughtfully.

“That is my fate.” She murmured as the first tears run down her cheek.

He frowned and raised his hand to her. His fingers trapped those tears, stopping them. She looked up at him and neither one moved for several moments. He wiped the rest of the tears away and offered her a sweet smile that warmed up her soul. “Fate is overrated.”

Tauriel frowned.

Thrarin caught a long copper tendril between his fingers and placed it behind her pointy ear. “Let’s try to fix up your mood then.”

Her brows weaved in surprise. “What?”

“We cannot allow the strongest Elven Warrior of Thranduil’s Kingdom to drown in sorrow…” He said and stood up. He cleaned his trousers and then offered her his hand.

She looked at it and smiled. Then she grasped it. “What are we doing?”

“First I am taking the stones back to the house, because Radagast will kill me. Then you will have lost a good friend to idiocy.” Thrarin pulled her up and then started cleaning the autumn leaves from her trousers also.

Tauriel laughed lightly. It was amazing how this boy….no…how this man was able to turn her mood around so effortlessly.

“Then we shall get rid of these corpses and we are going to search for my wolf who didn’t see it fit to help us in this predicament.” Thrarin sounded so austere that Tauriel laughed again.

“Indeed where is Thrór?” She looked around her.

“Probably sleeping under a tree somewhere…lazy bastard.” Thrarin muttered as he walked back to the house.

“Alright what do we do after we find Thrór?” She asked feeling genially eager to go out to another adventure with him.

“Will Thranduil miss you if I take you away from him for a day?” Thrarin offered her a playful glance over his shoulder.

“I don’t think so…” She smiled.

“Then my Lady, we are going boating today.” He said proudly.

“What?!” Her face instantly opened up.

“We will take one of those rowboats Dale has left down by Long Lake and go to Esgaroth. There we will offer a few flowers to monument of victims in the great Dragon fire and we will go fishing. Have you ever fished before?”

“Not really.” She cringed.

“It’s easy. I will show you. We will make a fire pit close to the water and camp out there. After my father cleaned it up, it has become one of the most beautiful manmade islands I have ever seen….”

“Indeed…full of trees and birds….I know.” Tauriel agreed.

“Have you ever been in it?” Thrarin asked as he arranged the sacred stones at their appointed places.

“No…never.” Her eyes glimmered in excitement.

When he finished he walked up to her and reached out to touch her fingers timidly. “Are you in the mood for such an adventure?”

“We will stay over for the night?” She asked feeling like a youngling again for some reason.

“If you’d like. Under one of those plane trees that have blossomed there. Good shade and protection.” He tilted his head.

She grinned and grasped his hand tightly. “Then what are you waiting for? Come! Let’s find Thrór!”

“Lead the way! There are no better scouts than the Elves from what I know.” He said and she did so. What she didn’t see as she turned around was the smile of fulfilment that formed on his lips, when he saw her smiling so happily once again.

-.-

Eilin looked around the room at the solemn faces of Balin and Dwalin that stood at Thorin’s flanks. Her hands became tight fists of anguish. “Thorin for heaven’s sake speak to me. What news from the Ravens.”

He looked up and the solemnity of his handsome face didn’t make her feel any better. “We have a lot of losses petal…”

“Durin?” Her face paled.

“He is okay, but we must notify the families of the dead.” -Thorin looked at Balin somberly- “Can you take care of it please?”

Eilin rushed over to him and pushed Dwalin out of the way. Then she leaned over his shoulder, trying to read what he was. “Did they say why we have so many loses? Another battle? An unexpected attack? Did his gates fail? The barricades at the bridges? Are they still holding up?” She muttered feeling lost.

“No…there are no details. Only the names of the dead and that they are to be brought over to Erebor for burial by Durin. In two weeks’ time.” Thorin clasped her hand and squeezed it.

She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead on his temple. “He is coming home? The plans didn’t change? Thank Mahal.” She whispered.

Thorin looked at Balin and gave him a silent nod. “Go please.”

“Will do laddie.” Balin said and left quickly.

Then he turned to Dwalin. “Can you give us a moment?”

Dwalin smiled and followed his brother.

When they were alone Thorin clutched her hand and brought her over to his lap. She sat on him with an exhalation of relief. Before he had the time to tell her anything her arms wrapped under his armpits and clasped his shoulders snugly. Then she buried her face on his chest and moaned. He enfolded her close to his heart and kissed her forehead. “It’s okay my petal. He is okay and so is Lis…calm down please.”

“Your son didn’t manage to kill me at childbirth…he is going to do it now.” Her voice sounded angry even though she was embracing him zealously.

“Everything is alright.” He hushed her.

She drew back and looked at his face. Then her hands came up to caress the greys on his temple….the silver threads along the length of his mane…the discreet wrinkles on his brow and the sides of his mouth. “You have grown greyer in this decade than you had been in your two hundred and thirty years of life…for heaven’s sake. Your son is killing you also.”

He smiled and looked at the face he had loved more than anything else in his life. His fingers traced a few wrinkles at her forehead. “I hope old age suits me as much as it does to you….because even wrinkled up, you can still take my breath away.”

“Don’t try to entice me Thorin…I swear.” She scowled.

His warm fingers came up to smooth the wrinkles of anger between her brows. “Now now, my fiery dove. We have good news from him…despite the casualties.”

“What happened though? Why is he not saying!?” She gritted her teeth.

“He is becoming a seasoned soldier my love. Have some trust in him. He will tell us all when he comes back. Be patient for two weeks.” He resumed patiently.

“As the crows fly.” She pressed her lips.

He pulled her down and pecked her gently. “Then three weeks what does it matter. His name was not between the dead.”

“Now…it wasn’t between the dead now. One day it will be!” Her expression was a combination of horror and rage.

He nudged her gently with his nose. “What do you want me to do?”

“Command him back to Erebor and tell him to take over here.” She exhaled hard.

“We have been through this myriads of times….Let him try himself out. Let him choose his own path.” He said softly.

“Why cannot he be more like Thrarin tell me?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“A healer?” Thorin whispered as his hands caressed her back softly.

“Yes…safe somewhere, if not here. Not in the midst of the most heated battles….” She closed her eyes and embraced him firmly.

“Not everybody can be born a peacemaker my love. Some are born warriors.”

“Like you….” The dissapointment was clear in her voice.

“Like me…like your father…like Othin….”

“Don’t remind me.” She opened her eyes, but didn’t pull away from his arms. His hug had the same healing power on her, it had when they first met.

“When he finishes his training with Dain he will demand to follow his brother in Khazad Dum.” This time it was Thorin’s voice that deepened with foreboding.

“And you will allow him to go….” There was no point asking.

“I wouldn’t dare deny him.” Came the quiet response.

“Of course…your sons never run away from a fight. Alas I know and that is what is going to do me in.” She closed her eyes.

His fingers slid through her long hair and caressed her head. “Not all my sons my love. Some of them chose differently and I don’t love them less because of it. I will support both the warriors and the healers in our family. Both the academics and the rebels. I will help them follow the path they choose. I will not overburden them with my wishes…and neither will you.”

“Even if I cannot stand it?” She turned her head and looked at his neck.

“Even then….” –he turned to her and cupped her cheek- “I cannot stand it either my dove…but this is not our lives. It’s theirs to live it as they wish. Allow them…please.”

“Even if they die in the process?” Her eyes teared up.

The pause from him was long and his voice broke when he whispered. “Even then….I swear to you Eilin if I lose any of my sons….I don’t know….” He staggered.

She felt the shuttering of his composure and a sudden need to support him made her forget her own fears. She drew back and gripped his cheeks. “Enough…my love. I have taken you down a path I hate to see you in. You are right. We shouldn’t focus on the negative. What could happen….Our boys are fine now….and our girls, right? Strong and free and finding their way into the world.”

A small smile appeared on his handsome face. “They are, aren’t they?”

“All of them so different…but they all do what they love….and they are so loyal to each other….we are so lucky to have them.” Eilin forced herself to smile down to him.

“They are lucky to have each other.” He murmured.

“As lucky as I am to have you.” She looked at his lips and leaned down to kiss him softly.

His exhalation on her mouth was that of deep relief and her heart cherished that. “Thank you….”

She smiled lovingly. “So three weeks as the crow flies?”

“Two…” He frowned.

“Three….he is going to go through Lothlorien.” Eilin raised her brow knowingly.

“Ah….” He smirked.

“Do you doubt that he is going to seek her out, after months of fighting?” She pursed her lips.

“Not really….you are right.” He said and pulled her in for a hug that she reciprocated.

“I hope Elrohir won’t give him a hard time again.” She frowned.

“I don’t have such hopes….” Thorin replied and squeezed his arms tightly around her.

She reciprocated and pulled back. “Now come.” She said and offered him her hand.

“Where to?” He scowled.

“Dinner with your wife…at the ramparts…how does that sound?” She tilted her head.

“When did you have the time to arrange that?” He stood up and pulled her in.

She leaned her arms on his chest and begun playing with his lapels. “Before the crows came to rock out world.” She teased.

“What about the girls and Othin?” He run his palm at the side of her neck.

“They will have dinner with their grandfather….” Eilin flashed him a bright smile.

“So I can have you for the rest of the night?” Both his brows raised.

“That was the plan….before….”

“….The crows came to rock our world.” He smiled as he swept down to give her a soft kiss.

She closed her eyes. “I love you Thorin.” She whispered.

“I love you too….” He rejoined with a depth that made her heart skirt.

-.-

Chapter Text

“Dad?” Rhianaye peeped through the half open door.

Thorin was sitting behind his golden gilded desk, buried in a mountain of scrolls with Balin by his side. The moment he saw his daughter, his demeanor brightened up.

“Take these to Gloin, Balin. They are all signed.” -Thorin told his advisor and then waved to his daughter eagerly- “Come in my little strawberry.” 

Rhianaye walked in balancing precariously several scrolls on top of a large, ancient looking book. “Good morning Uncle.”

“Good morning my dear. Want me to help you?” Balin asked as he was leaving.

“No, I have it.” She smiled radiantly to him.

Balin reciprocated and closed the door behind him. Rhianaye rounded her dad’s desk and dropped the book and the scrolls upon it unceremoniously. “There…” She said with a sigh of relief.

“What is all this?” Thorin frowned.

“Before I help you correct that slipup that has been eating you about the Elder Laws in your new manifesto ….I will beg you to stop calling me little strawberry in front of your people.” Rhianaye pressed her lips, visibly bothered.

Thorin held her hand and kissed it respectfully. “Why? Doesn’t my little girl like strawberries then?”

She looked absolutely done with his antics. “Dad, am I or am I not running the ancient libraries?”

“Of course you do my love.” Thorin rejoined with a huge smile.

“Don’t I have ample knowledge of our laws?” She glared at him.

“More than ample!” Thorin pulled up a chair next to him and forced her to sit.

“Am I not your advisor especially in everything concerning your decrees?” She crossed her arms.

“I am counting on you and so does your brother when he takes over the Northern Kingdom and Khazad-dum. He will need your brains to back him up.” Thorin caressed the loose black tendrils over her clever eyes.

“Everyone is respecting my command of the libraries….and my role next to you as a trusted counselor.”

“And so am I, more than anyone else.” He tucked some locks behind her ear tenderly.

 “Yet sometimes you are treating me like a baby….and I assure you I am not.” Rhianaye looked at him intently.

Thorin offered her a lopsided smile. “Just because I want to pamper you every now and again, doesn’t mean I don’t respect your formidable intellect, which is second to none. I just pride myself that you have taken after me in these matters and I count on your advice. I have followed your lead several times since you finished your academics and got involved so intensely with politics.”

“So where does the little strawberry fit into all this?” She scowled at him.

Thorin cupped her cheek and his azure eyes filled with immeasurable love. “Just the need of a father to spoil his beloved girl….please indulge me.”

Rhianaye looked at him sternly for a few moments, but she was unable to keep up the façade. She exhaled loudly and clasped his hand. “I love you too dad….just please refrain from using such appellations in front of other people.”

Thorin leaned his forehead on her shoulder and squeezed her firmly. “I am sorry my love. I will do as you request.”

Rhianaye caressed his long hair with a tardy smile. “You can call me anything you want when we are alone though.”

Thorin looked up with a lively smile. “Can I call you my little blackberry? Raspberry? Cranberry?”

“Dad are you hungry or is it my idea?” She smiled.

Thorin’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Hungry? No I am not, but you are. Dis told me you didn’t eat anything at noon even though Loa brought you lunch at work. What are you thinking skipping meals like this?” He tsked and dug up a meat sandwich Eilin had brought for him at noon.

Rhianaye looked at it with a frown. “I am not hungry right now.”

“Well, you need to eat. You have been working like crazy since the break of dawn.” –He forced the sandwich in her hands- “Actually you have been working like that for several years now.”

Rhianaye unwrapped Thorin’s untouched snack and took a bite out of it. It was admittedly rather tasty. “And what is so wrong about that?”

“You have been buried between books for so long….ignoring everything else around you. That worries me.” Thorin looked at her eloquently.

Rhianaye took another bite and felt her appetite returning quickly. “Ah, so we are having this conversation again?”

“Which conversation?” Thorin pressed his lips irritably.

“The one where you scold me for abandoning most of my friends….for my studies.” Rhianaye replied indifferently.

“Suthvari, poor young man used to be a confidant of yours…..I haven’t seen him around you for a long time.” Thorin said carefully.

“Are you talking about the same boy you hated, because he is the son of your sworn enemy?” Rhianaye took a huge bite out of the sandwich.

“My formerly sworn enemy. Servin and I have come to an agreement years ago. Besides your mother liked Suthvari a lot.” Thorin waved his hand around casually.

“Will you and mom stop trying to convince me to date someone? I am too young…I have so much to see yet….so many books to study!” -Rhianaye’s eyes glimmered even at the thought. She finished the sandwich and closed her eyes in clear satisfaction- “Did mom make you this? It was heavenly.”

“Yes she did…and you were hungry, I was right. As for the boy…” Thorin pushed the water bottle and his cup towards her.

She raised his brow at him. “Dad….I never gave Suthvari a flower crown. You know that…right?” She served herself some water and drunk it readily.

Thorin sighed and gazed at her pointedly.

“He was a good friend. He was interested in me, but I had other things on my mind. Much more important things….I was just not ready to commit to him. Come to think of it I haven’t ever met a man I would like to offer this kind of commitment to.” Rhianaye shrugged indifferently.

“Yet….” Thorin rejoined with a knowing smile.

“Possibly never….why don’t you go bother Ida about such things?” -Rhianaye pursed her lips testily- “Why don’t you do the same with Othin and Thrarin?” 

“Your sister is too young to think about relationships and Othin is too busy training for war. As for Thrarin he is too preoccupied with learning magic….”

“And I am not busy then? Is that what you are saying?” His daughter’s shrewd regard pierced through him.

“You are employed right under me pumpkin…that instantly means that you are the busiest of them all. I just worry because you were really friendly with Suthvari…you liked him so much. You even forced him onto me at a time when my relationship with his father was rather precarious. Nevertheless I accepted him when I saw how well he was treating you. Then all of a sudden you stopped asking to spend time with him. I worry because I fear he may have mistreated you somehow….that something happened I am not aware.” Thorin tried to explain.

Rhianaye leaned over his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “I love you too dad, but stop worrying. Nothing happened…we simply drifted apart. He wished for something more, I only like his friendship….then my education became more important than anything else…and here we are.”

“Maybe you are dedicating yourself in your books too much. Why don’t you go out one night with your friends? There are so many gatherings taking place by the river now that Fall is ending.” Thorin looked at her worried.

“Is this you over-worrying ….or is this also my mom speaking through you?” Rhianaye pinched his cheek.

Thorin tried to give her an intimidating frown, which of course failed with his oldest daughter. “We are both worrying…we want what’s best for you.”

“Then let me find it, you big old grumpy bear!” Rhianaye smiled at him.

Thorin sighed deeply and then decided to relent. “Ok, fine...I will leave you alone for now. What have you brought me here? Show me.”

Rhianaye threw him a spirited smile and then opened up her books in front of him- “Put on your glasses and let me explain to you what I found in the archives.”

Before she even had the time to straighten up the scrolls, the door was thrown open and a fiery whirlwind of a smaller scale than Eilin dashed in. “Hi dad, hi Rhi!” Ida waved happily as she hopscotched inside. With her long red curls bouncing down her back and her pretty face openly enthused with the whole world around her. Her long legs, thin waist and hairless face, a copy of her mother…but her attitude…that one was taken from her brother Durin. Always blasé, defiant and daring to a folly.

“What happened to knocking on doors?” Rhianaye scolded her little sister.

“I wanted to see dad…” Ida said and rushed over to her father who accepted her tight embrace with a smile.

“How is my little pumpkin?” He pampered her face with myriads of kisses.

“She is a pumpkin and I am a strawberry….I swear…” Rhianaye rolled her eyes.

Ida giggled and pushed him back. “Fine dad!”

“If you haven’t noticed, your father and I have a very serious meeting.” Rhianaye crossed her arms vexed.

Ida climbed on his lap and caressed his hair away from his face fervently. “Dad always has time for me Rhi….also I am not going to bother you. I can stay here with you guys. Listen to what you are saying about ruling the Northern Kingdome….”

“Impossible…she is impossible….” Rhianaye exhaled loudly.

“Then…I will take all the secrets I learn from you today to the Daunting Seven and sell it to them for the proper price!” Ida eyed her sister cunningly.

“Are you listening to this?” Rhianaye pointed at her sister, exasperated.

“My precious little angel, she has a good mind for business.” Thorin smiled proudly at his red headed princess.

“You are giving her too much leeway….” Rhianaye shook her head.

“She is just a baby…” Thorin kissed his daughter’s cheek lovingly.

“She is carrying a bloody axe!” Rhianaye pointed at Ida’s hand.

“Oh, come on Rhi, Othin gave it to me. He was training with several guards by the river side.” Ida shrugged.

“He gave it to you or did you steal it?” Rhianaye pressed her lips impatiently.

“I would never still from Othin. Besides I will return it to him when I finish….right dad?” Her fingers played with Thorin’s lapels.

“Of course she will, leave her alone Rhi….” He scolded his oldest daughter.

Rhianaye gazed at them both irritably. “Why did you need to get an axe Ida? Explain that for me….”

Ida visibly hesitated for a few moments. “Been chasing a couple of prairie dogs.”

Rhianaye looked up terrified at that. “What did those poor animals do to you?!”

“Ruining my little garden under the Oak tree! They keep digging up the seeds I plant!...Dad?!” She looked at Thorin for confirmation.

Thorin smoothed Ida’s red curly hair away from her expressive green eyes. It was as if he was looking at his wife reborn. “I mean those critters are a true menace….” He said casually.

“I don’t believe you are validating this…” Rhianaye raised her brows.

“Oh come on, don’t make such a huge deal about a couple of nuisances.” Thorin frowned at Rhi.

“She is barely twelve years old and she is brandishing a bloody axe against a couple of harmless animals! Dad!” Rhianaye seemed shock.

“I didn’t kill any….yet.” Ida gazed boldly at her sister.

“Listen to her audacity….” Rhi said in disbelief.

“I just want to scare them away from my garden.” Ida scowled at her.

“With an axe larger than your attitude? You want to do them in… and possibly hang them in your room as trophies to show with pride to Durin.” Rhi glowered at her.

 “Hey! Durin would praise me for protecting my garden!” Ida looked up angrily.

Rhianaye pursed her lips. “Yeah, he would probably give you a bigger axe to murder anything alive in a ten mile radius also.”

“My brother loves me!” Ida said proudly.

“A little too much if you ask me. He is spoiling you more than dad sometimes.” Rhianaye shook her head.

Ida in a sudden flash of clarity, ignored her sister and turned to Thorin who was admiring both his daughters with a smile on his lips all this time. “Dad, when is Durin coming home? Soon?” Ida’s eyes glimmered at the prospect.

“Yes my angel. We got news from the Ravens. He will arrive in a couple of weeks.” Thorin caressed her cheek.

Ida’s lips pouted. “That’s too long dad. Can I go find him in Khazad-dum instead?”

“And behead a couple of Orcs on the way?” Rhianaye smirked.

Ida’s regard looked unquestionably intimidating. “Why not?”

Rhianaye nodded in defeat. “Yes, should have expected this answer. Now will you leave us be for a moment? I have important things to tell dad that concern the Kingdome.”

Ida pressed Thorin’s cheeks with her fingers. “Will you come out to the Oak tree when you are finished with Rhi dad?”

Thorin kissed her button nose. “Sure my love, why?”

“I want you to help me hunt the Prairie Dogs…” She whispered in a conspiratorially manner and threw her big sister a cunning glance.

“You are going to force the King of the North to hunt critters?” Rhi scoffed.

“She is asking me, she is not forcing me…and yes I will come help you baby girl.” Thorin patted her cheek and gave it a firm kiss.

“Thank you daddy!” -Ida embraced him fiercely. Then she reached out and grabbed Rhianaye’s pen before her sister could react- “Now I got your pen and you cannot have it back!” She jeered. She rushed to the door, turned to her sister tongue out and then closed the door with a high pitched giggle.

Rhianaye turned to Thorin who was looking mesmerized at the door. “Whenever you are not spoiling her, Durin does it and Othin isn’t helping much by giving her axes….she is all over the place.”

“Don’t worry about your little sister. She has a fire in her soul that no one will be able to dowse.” -Thorin turned to her calmly- “Now….show me what you have found in the library…” He pointed at the scrolls.

With a sigh of frustration Rhianaye leaned over him and decided to forget the rebellious nature of her little sister…if only for a little while. Maybe until Durin came back home.

-.-

Three days passed since Durin and his men managed to kill the mother dragon. Three days since he claimed the name Dragonheir. Three days he attended the wounded, made sure all the passes were secure and rested as much as he could. The dawn of the fourth day his satchel was made and his escort was ready by the eastern gates. All of them on horses apart from one carriage used to carry the dead back to Erebor.

They all departed before the break of dawn of that fourth day. Usually in order to reach Lorien quickly they used a couple of byrding ships that were tied at the western shores of Kheled-zaram. Sailing down the river Celebrant assured them free passage and few to none unpleasant encounters. However this time because of the carriage they had to take the long way round.

With that knowledge Durin instructed his men to opt for speed instead of stealth. An unusual tactic for him, but it was easy to use stealth in the water. Upon animals his brigade was anything but quiet and the carriage was an extra burden. Added to that was the Dragon Egg which was tucked inside one of the satchels of his saddle, buried inside a heavy blanket. He knew next to nothing about taking care of chicken eggs…more so about Dragon ones. So they rode as fast as the carriage and the egg allowed them.  

Three days they passed on the road, two nights they camped in some quiet shore of the river in order to rest. It was at the closing of the third day when they finally saw Lothlórien from afar. The anticipation fizzed in Durin’s stomach upon seeing Celebriel’s home after so many months of being buried under the ancient stones of Moria, fighting filth. The need to shed the warrior inside him, in order to take her in his arms bordered to painful. Even the thought of seeing her face, of embracing and kissing her was making his throat constrict with tension.

Still Lis’ words were not as easily overlooked as she wished. Whenever he approached Lórien, the figure of Celly’s father, the painful words Durin has heard from him repeatedly, the tension he always felt from Elrohir’s men….made him feel like he didn’t belong. No matter how many times Celly tried to convince him that Lórien loved him as much as she did….he knew that as long as Elrohir was there, supervising his daughter…Durin could never belong.

He would always be an outsider.

He stopped his horse and turned to Lis who rode next to him. “We made good time and we didn’t have any unfortunate encounters.” She said thoughtfully.

“Heard several wolf packs and scattered wargs around us last night. That is unusual behavior especially so close to this Realm.” Durin frowned.

“I know.” Lis nodded.

“Warg packs are usually accompanied by Goblins and Orcs.” His hand tightened around the reigns.

“And they don’t seem afraid to approach the Elves….unusual indeed.” Lis murmured.

“Either they picked up the scent of the cadavers in the carriage or the South is becoming unstable again.” Durin pursed his lips.

“Possibly both.” A solemn voice spoke from a thick cluster of trees to their side.

Durin cradled his axe and Lis drew her bow in the blink of an eye. “Who goes?!” She yelled.

The Marchwarden rode out of the forest, escorted by his siblings and instantly Durin’s lips upturned in a bright smile. “Haldir you bastard…” He said.

The Silvan Elf came over to him with both his hand extended. “My friend! This is a most pleasant surprise!”

“Don’t ever sneak up on me like that again if you value your life…” Durin rebuked as pulled Haldir in for a tight embrace.

The Elf reciprocated despite his reserved nature. The years that Durin had been going back and forth between Lórien and Khazad-dum had forced him and Haldir in an unspoken collaboration. Several times it was Durin’s men that cleared up the Northern borders of Lórien from Orcs and Goblins when he came to visit Celly.

Other times it was Haldir and his men that helped Durin reach the safety of the sacred lands when they were being hunted. During one of those skirmishes where both Dwarves and Elves had gotten involved in the fight, it was Durin’s axe that slashed the head off a Goblin who attacked Haldir’s brother Rumil from the back.

After Durin saved his life, Haldir and both his siblings took him in as one of their own. With time their friendship only grew stronger. Now, ten years later Durin could easily call Haldir his brother in arms, but also in heart. He felt honored to see a part of the Marchwarden that few if any ever witnessed. The usually cold and typical Haldir instantly morphed to the most precious friend around him…so did his siblings who couldn’t communicate well in the common speech. Still they found ways to show Durin their appreciation every time.

Haldir grasped Durin’s shoulders and smiled brightly. “I have missed you so much! Why did you take so long to come this time?”

Durin hissed and pushed Haldir’s hand away from his wounded shoulder. “I missed you too…but be careful I beg you.”

“What in the name of Ilúvatar is this?” Haldir muttered and pushed Durin’s coat back in order to check on him.

“Rumil, Orophin…Hello my brothers.” Durin grasped their hands firmly.

“Welcome. Long time…see not you.” Orophin shook his hand fervently.

“You are getting better with the language.” Durin smiled.

“I try…but hard.” Orophin shook his head disappointed.

“I try harder….yes?” Rumil offered him an honest smile.

Durin nodded. “You are doing very well, both of you.”

They nodded happily.

“I brought gifts for you! Swords from the depth of Khazad-dum, forgotten there by my kin for ages.” -Durin added and frowned towards Haldir who was messing around his wound silently- “What the hell are you doing?”

“Checking out this mess.” Haldir frowned as he continued probing.

“Yes! We have gift too for all. Wine…lots of!” Rumil smiled and his brother nodded in agreement.

“Forget the wine for a moment, what the hell happened to you? What is this Durin?” Haldir’s eyes filled with worry as he gazed at the scars on his throat and jawline.

His siblings approached also, after realizing that something was wrong.

“Had an unfortunate encounter close to the Mithril Forge a few days before departing.” Durin tilted his head.

“Unfortunate encounter? Those look like claw marks.” Haldir frowned.

“Claw marks indeed.”

“The beast who made those to you must have been enormous.” Haldir gazed at him with a troubled glower.

“Well it wasn’t trivial….” Durin straightened his shoulders, ignoring the flaring pain that came from his shoulder.

Haldir reached out and grasped Durin’s reigns. “Was it … the Valaraukar?” His eyes filled with horror.

“If it was that devil I wouldn’t have been alive to tell the tale my friend. It was a Dragon.” Durin rejoined evenly.

“He led his men against that flying beast for a whole day Marchwarden and it was Orcrist that finally took its life!” Lis added smugly from behind.

Haldir’s smile was careful. “Did you actually kill a Dragon?”

“Unfortunately after it marked me…and I had tremendous help from very valiant men.” Durin’s lips toyed with a smile.

“You are absolutely mad….” Haldir’s laugh was authentic.  

“If that’s the worst I can be, I am lucky.” Durin looked at him spiritedly.

“Absolutely wild….” -Haldir’s smile grew wide- “This is a story I long to hear over good wine, after we get our people to check this wound.”

“There is no need. Lis helped me clean it up during our journey here.” Durin tried to dismiss him, but Haldir wouldn’t have it.

“I am not taking you to Lady Celebriel in this mess. No.” He shook his head strictly.

When he heard her name, his heart gave a mighty kick. He reached out and grasped Haldir’s forearm. “How is she? Is she here?” His usually confident voice, now sounded slightly shaken.

“She is in the Eastern borders of the Realm with some other ladies, studying the flow of water magic. Lady Galadriel send her there two days ago along with Nenya. She is expected to return tomorrow morning.”

Durin’s lips upturned in a proud smile, he couldn’t hide. “The Lady is showing Celly the ways of her Ring of Power?”

“Very cautiously, yes….” Haldir reciprocated the smile.

“She told me last time I saw her the Lady was considering her as the next Ring bearer. The greatest honor to be sure.” Durin raised his brows in admiration.

“And a heavy burden if in the end she manages…” Haldir pressed his lips.

Durin looked at him carefully.

“It won’t be easy to bridle the power of that ring my friend. Your lady is a formidable wielder of ancient magic, but Nenya needs much more than that. Lady Celebriel is still young…she needs time to practice…possibly even travel in distant lands in order to study under Yavanna herself.”

Those words made Durin stop his horse. He looked at Haldir with a newfound worry in his eyes. “She wishes to depart for Vallinor?”

“Not herself, but it is being discussed by the Lady of Light. If Lady Celebriel is to become a new Ring bearer she cannot achieve this kind of knowledge…this magnitude of power in Middle Earth. She will have to sail…eventually.” Haldir looked at his hands when he spoke. It was clear that he felt uneasy revealing this to Durin.

Durin felt his heart sinking and stayed silent as their horses started walking slowly down the path.

Haldir threw him a worried glance. “I didn’t mean to ruin your mood so soon after you arrived.”

“No…it is good that you told me the news….The truth.” Durin shook his head as if trying to shed the dark thoughts that begun gathering in his mind.

Haldir recognized his distress. “I can go fetch Lady Celebriel tonight if you wish. When she learns you have arrived, she will wish to get back as soon as possible.”

Durin looked at Haldir and forced a faded smile on his lips. “No, don’t go through all that trouble. Let her study. One night of drunkenness in your company just sounds perfect right now.”

That made Haldir’s smile grow wide, but he didn’t seem convinced. “Well, I cannot wait to hear the story of the Dragon’s death under Orcrist and also to have you taste the latest wine barrels our brothers have brought out from the cellars. You are going to love it. But first….to our healers…” Haldir said decisively.

“I don’t want to bring the carriage with the dead into the Realm. Can we leave it close to your frets? So your men can look after it until we leave? Too many wolves roaming around….picking up the scent of the deceased.” Durin asked, still feeling rather troubled by what he had heard about Celebriel.  

“We will take care of it. Don’t worry.” Haldir reassured him.

Durin gazed at him thoughtfully for several moments before he nodded. “Thank you.”

After that they rode in silence, each man buried into his own thoughts until they reached the frets of the Northern border guards. There Durin chose the men that would reside with the carriage and Haldir gave orders to his guards. The remaining men followed Durin and Lis into the Realm of Light.

When they arrived, Haldir led Durin to the rooms that were always reserved for him and called their healers. Several hours later Durin found himself sitting across Haldir in a dining that was opening up towards a river. They had several bottles of wine opened up between them. Lis and Haldir’s brother along with his men were occupying the remaining tables along with several Elven Maidens that had come to admire the famous Durin the Deathless and his company.

After cleaning himself up thoroughly and getting checked by the healer, he physically felt like a new man. However Haldir’s words about Celebriel and Vallinor weighed heavily on him still.

“So are you truly going to take the egg back to Erebor?” Haldir looked at the aforementioned item that was sitting in the middle of their table, draped in the heavy blanket.

“I don’t have any other choice. Where could I leave it? Without its mother it is doomed.” Durin winced annoyed.

“Have you any knowledge of raising dragons?” Haldir twisted his lips testily.

“No idea whatsoever.” Durin admitted.

“Then you are bound to fail. You need someone to assist you with it.” Haldir shook his head.

“Whom? No one from my kin has a clue about Dragons. The only thing we know how to do is kill them for always coming after our gold.”

“So you wish to raise the baby of your mortal enemy. That is a noble thought my friend.” Haldir patted Durin’s shoulder heavily.

“A noble thought bound to fail. Maybe Radagast can help….my brother possibly…” Durin scowled thoughtfully.

“Your brother?”

“Thrarin …he loves nature…Elves…knows Mirkwood inside out…studies under Radagast. Maybe the only one from my kin able to help….” Durin looked at the egg disheartened.

“I can help also…if you wish.” Haldir said after a small pause.

Durin looked up surprised. “You?”

“Have a little bit of knowledge of these creatures….not comparing to the Brown Wizard…..but….” Haldir smiled.

Durin’s lips toyed with a smile. “Are you searching for a reason to follow me to Erebor?”

Haldir averted his eyes and looked at his hands. “Maybe….”

Durin nodded slightly and tapped the table with one of his heavy rings. “I don’t think the Lady of Light will allow you to leave.”

“If I offer my help with the Dragon egg you own, she might.” Haldir looked at him with a clever smile.

The pause from Durin was brief. “I wouldn’t mind having your company on the road or in Erebor, but are you truly willing to leave the Northern Borders without a Marchwarden?”

“My siblings will remain in my stead. I have been longing to see the Northern Kingdom ever since your father first arrived here uninvited with your mother who was carrying you in her loins.” Haldir’s eyes looked enthused even at the idea.

“That detail, I could have done without….” Durin warned him.

Haldir laughed and clutched Durin’s bicep. “So…do I have your permission to ask my Lady of Light to accompany you?”

Durin’s mouth formed a lopsided smile. “I would love to have you with me.”

Haldir’s smile lit up his usually strict appearance. “I owe you for this one my friend.”

“As I owe you for all the times you supported me when so many of your kin wished to see me gone.” Durin’s face fell upon those words.

Haldir noticed and decided not to pursue that line of thought on purpose. “The story you related to me about that Dragon fight, must be written in the books of history. Do you have an academic in your midst to record your triumphs as you go along?” Haldir looked honestly interested.

“No academics and no bards….unfortunately few of these professions wish to visit or reside in Khazad-dum. Cannot blame them. That place is a real pit.” Durin swirled his cup musingly.

“I could record your history in Elvish, but I don’t think your kind will appreciate that.” Haldir raised his cup in salutation.

The first genial smile dawned upon Durin’s features. “Believe me friend, I couldn’t care less what my people would think.”

Haldir frowned and leaned over. “You don’t want your kin to learn about your adventures in Moria then? All this effort to reclaim it…”

“….Is not for them…It is for me. Possibly in order to prove to myself that I am truly worthy of reclaiming what was once mine….probably.” Durin looked at him straight in the eye.

“Probably?” Haldir frowned.

Durin tilted his head and emptied his cup. Then he served Haldir and himself again.

“All these men that have sworn to follow you to the death? What about them?” Haldir looked at him cautiously.

At that Durin’s face fell. “They are honest souls I am sacrificing to a personal goal. I am not acting honorably towards them.”

Haldir humphed and tasted his wine. He leaned back with a knowing nod. “So, when you manage to reclaim Moria, after all those sacrifices….you are going to reside in it yourself…? Alone?”

Durin turned to him with a confused scowl. “What?”

“Alone in Moria…since you are sacrificing all these men to your personal goals…I suppose you will reside in it alone when all is done.” Haldir shrugged.

“Of course not.” Durin frowned.

“So what do you intend to do with it?” Haldir raised his brows.

“If I manage to reclaim it, I want to make it flourish again. Bring our people to reside it in. Make it once again a great Kingdom….”

“….For your kin….” Haldir looked at him pointedly.

Durin sighed and closed his eyes. “Yes….” He exhaled heavily.

“I don’t know what personal hell you are going through lately my friend, but you are neither selfish nor are your sacrificing people hopelessly. Like your father in the past, you are trying to reclaim the lands of your ancestors for your people and you started so young. Younger than any of your forefathers.” Haldir’s eyes were penetrating as he spoke.

Durin’s eyes got lost inside the amber liquid in his cup. He didn’t speak.

“You should be damned proud of what you are doing….not berating yourself. I think you have lost sight of what truly matters buried as you are inside the pit. I have lost sight of it also. I am talking about your ancestors…when in reality you are the first forefather of them all.” Haldir clasped Durin’s muscular forearm and squeezed it.

“Am I indeed?” Durin’s smirk was full of bitterness.

“The first to be born…the first to be buried alone…the first to wake up…as old…as ancient as my Lady of Light herself.” Haldir’s eyes filled with honest wonder.

Durin scoffed, but kept quiet.

“That is the reason she never speaks into your mind you know….” Haldir released his hand and took a hefty sip from his drink.

Durin threw him a questioning side-glance.

Haldir threw a couple of glances above his shoulder to his comrades that were in deep conversation with Durin’s soldiers. Then he leaned over. “Lady Galadriel….she has never spoken into your mind. Has she?”

Durin shook his head. “No.”

Haldir tilted his head. “She does that to everyone…even the Maia….but not you…not to you who were the first creation of Vala Aule. Whatever she has to say, she tells it to you aloud. So that everyone can hear. Don’t you see?”

Durin sighed and gazed at him calmly. “See what?”

“She respects you. Recognizes the primordial soul in you as equal. A child of the Years of the Trees. Someone she doesn’t need to guide, but simply to observe. That is a great honor for you.” Haldir whispered and his eyes glimmered with an enthusiasm that Durin couldn’t share.

Durin flicked his brow and emptied his cup. “Then maybe she is as mislead as many others my friend. Old soul or not…she is not omnipotent.”

Haldir looked partly shocked, partly amused. “On one hand you don’t believe you share the soul of the Deathless…on the other you speak so indifferently about the Princess of the Ñoldor without blinking an eye. Only a true forefather of the ancient worlds would have spoken thusly.”

“Or a fool.” Durin smirked and stopped a moment before serving himself. He shook his head, pushed the glass away and drunk straight from the bottle.

“What is it that worries you, tell me? Your strength in battle has become so monumental during this decade that your name is feared by all. Your knowledge of the architecture of Moria is unsurpassed, which furthers proves your legacy, and the strategic way with which you are reclaiming it cannot be doubted by anyone ….”

Durin looked at the half empty bottle and tilted his head. “Despite all these achievements I cannot recover my crown….”

Haldir inhaled deeply and sat back. “Still haven’t see it in the Lake?”

Durin shook his head. “Had I been the first creation of Vala Aule…I would have already seen it by now. All this is an illusion Haldir…a goddamn illusion and I sometimes feel like I am the master of it.”

Haldir shook his head with a frown. “Have you ever thought that you are not ready yet to see the crown?”

“What am I waiting for? To reclaim the whole of Moria first?” When Durin raised his eyes they looked haunted.

“Maybe you are not allowing yourself to see it…..” Haldir said after a long time.

Durin’s brows weaved darkly.

That gave courage to Haldir who continued. “Maybe it is your doubt in your legacy…your doubt in your own identity that is making you blind.”

That gave a long pause to Durin whose azure eyes got lost into the far wall, past several Elven Maidens who were ogling him discreetly.

Haldir took a large sip, feeling happy to have silenced this legendary man. “Smolder on that for a while….” He said calmly and Durin’s fiery gaze turned to him heavy as led.

When Durin finally decided that he didn’t have a clever comeback to that nugget of wisdom, he pushed back the bottle and stood up. “I need to take a walk.”

“And I will accompany you, because you are not so steady at your feet.” Haldir looked mildly entertained.

“I feel fine.” Durin flared out his wide shoulders and gave an indifferent look at the Elven Maidens. They all leaned towards each other and giggled quietly.

“You are having quite the effect in your surroundings and I don’t think Lady Celebriel will appreciate that. Come let me walk with you for a while. Some fresh air will do you good.” Haldir laughed.

Durin shook his head in order to clear it and then turned to Lis who seemed to be having a good time with Rumil and Orophin. “Lis, take care of this when you finish will you?”

“Take care of it how? Have no bloody idea what to do with it!” She cried and when the siblings laughed, she laughed along with them.

“Place it in a warm and soft place and put a couple of blankets over it. That would do the trick for now.” Haldir intervened.

“Will do Sir!” Lis offered Haldir a military salutation and then resumed her conversation with the siblings.

“She is the one who is tipsy….not me. She is the one you should be walking….not giving her instructions. She is going to make a damned omelet out of the egg.” Durin grumbled as he offered Lis a look of dismissal.

Haldir engaged his elbow and led him straight to the gardens. “Follow me….and wave to the lovely ladies who have been eyeing you ever since you came in here.”

Durin threw a cautious gaze to the Elven Maidens who all bowed respectfully as he walked past them. Soon they were strolling out in the gardens and Durin had to admit that the night breeze was doing wonders to his dizziness. He enjoyed this evening walk quietly as Haldir couldn’t stop talking about Erebor, Khazad-dum and the Dragon Egg. Durin wouldn’t have minded walking the whole of Lothlórien like this as the peacefulness of the night seemed to calm even the darkest thoughts in his mind, but that was not meant to last.

As they neared a clearing with a small fountain in the middle, both Haldir and Durin stopped and leaned close to a tree. He instantly recognized Elrohir and Elladan. They seemed to be discussing in a quiet tone, which was barely heard over the soft trickling of water.

Haldir turned to Durin with a deep frown of negation. “We need to leave. Come on.” He tried to pull his friend, but the sturdy Dwarf remained put.

“Wait…” He said quietly and hid behind the thick leafage of the tree.

“Did you see her?” It was Elrohir’s voice.

“I did…I am so sorry my brother.” Elladan replied solemnly.

“Sorry I failed to protect her all these years?” Elrohir rejoined vehemently.

Elladan didn’t answer.

“I should have laid Durin the Deathless to waste the moment I first saw him in Erebor.” The hatred on Elrohir’s voice was palpable.

“That is the pain that speaks in the stead of your logic brother.” Elladan rebuked heavily.

“Have you seen the wound in her arm?”

“Yes.” Elladan answered quietly.

“That happened three days ago and she is still trying to heal.” Elrohir’s voice was slightly trembling.

“Enough, come on, we have to leave.” Haldir whispered and tried to pull him away.

“No, they are talking about Celly.” Durin rebuked sternly.

Haldir looked at him heavily, but released his arm.

“Our mother was tortured by Orcs….her granddaughter will die because of Dwarves. I don’t know which is worse. At least our mother lives in Vallinor. My daughter will not manage to go there. She will die because of him. Sometimes I feel that riding with the Rangers and killing Orcs is pointless. It is not satisfying my thirst for blood anymore. What I wish now is to ride up to Erebor and cut down the filth who has destroyed my daughter. Nay, strike that. I wish to cut down the whole line of Durin, but first I will make sure their King is alive to see me killing his two precious daughters. Exactly as his son is doing to mine.” Elrohir’s voice turned vehement with revulsion.

Elladan remained quiet through his brother’s pained monologue.

“A mere scratch from a branch….unable to heal. I don’t know if I can turn this around for her Elladan. I am in despair.” Elrohir’s voice broke completely.

“If you convince her to leave for Vallinor now, maybe things can be reversed.” Elladan rejoined quietly.

“She is a half-Elf. She can choose to be counted either as a mortal or as an immortal….like our father did. You know she chose to be counted amongst the race of men. It’s her gift to that conceited Dwarf. She has offered her life to him. She has chosen to die a mortal, to deny Vallinor, to deny learning the ancient magic of Yavanna…just for his sake. I knew he was a menace to my family since he was a child, but I never thought he would end up killing her. Not by the sword, but by his supposed love. I am going to lose my girl to him…to death Elladan and I cannot do anything about it…unless I kill him myself.” Elrohir choked on these agonizing words.

“Have you tried to talk to her? To make her revoke her decision? Make her see reason?” Elladan tried.

The silence from Elrohir was heavy. “She listens to no one. Not even to her great grandmother. She only listens to that accursed Dwarf.”

“Did he ask her to stay here and chose mortality?”

“Not by words, but by loving her he did it. She cannot live with him as an immortal. Galadriel asked her to join her in Vallinor to learn ancient magic. If Celebriel goes there, she is going to lose him and my daughter, bless her soul loves this bloody filth to death. Her decision is irrevocable. We have discussed this to the point of many arguments already and you know it.” Elrohir rebuked dryly.

Elladan didn’t speak.

“The only way through this is either me threatening the family of the King of the North in some way….his daughters, so he can keep his son at bay….” Elrohir spat.

“And endangering the alliances Thranduil, Galadriel and Elrond created through so many difficulties….” Elladan intruded.

“….or me killing him on the spot. Getting rid of him once and for all.” Elrohir added wryly.

“Think with your mind, not with your heart.” Elladan rebuked.

“What mind can I have when I see her withering away into nothing because of him?!” --Elrohir spat angrily- “I cannot reason with her. If he dies…she will mourn him, she will be in pain but in the end she will recover. She will follow me to Vallinor in order to forget him…and that will save her life.”

“You are really thinking of murdering Durin the Deathless?” Elladan’s voice was incredulous.

That made Elrohir remain quiet for a long time. “I don’t know what else to do…I don’t know brother….I just want to help my baby girl…..and I don’t know how.” His voice broke completely on those words.

After that heavy silence fell between the brothers. Durin didn’t need to hear anything more.

That was what a nightmare sounded like.

Suddenly he regretted leaving Khazad-dum and searching for Celly. Not only did he get reminded of the deep hatred her father harbored for him, but he also learned of Celebriel’s ultimate sacrifice for him. The numbness he felt inside and out didn’t let him feel Haldir pulling him.

He got dragged several feet away and only then did he manage to steady his legs. He stopped abruptly and made Haldir stop with him. “Don’t tell me that you took what you heard seriously, did you?” Haldir whispered.

Durin felt all the words sticking down his throat along with bile.

“You know how foul Elrohir can become. Don’t even listen to all those threats he made to your sisters. No one will ever let them come to harm.”

“Celly chose to be counted amongst the race of men.” Durin’s usually authoritative voice was barely heard.

A sudden clarity filled Haldir’s eyes. “Listen you have to discuss this with her. Don’t listen to what her father says….please I beg you.”

Durin turned to his friend. His face was ghostly white and his hand was trembling ever so slightly. “Leave Haldir.” The command was clear in his voice, despite its lack of intensity.

Haldir shook his head. “I cannot leave you alone now. No.”

Durin’s face contorted in anguish. “Go!” He spat.

“For the sake of Aulë ….” Haldir started, but Durin didn’t let him finish.

“Stay back!” He ordered. He pulled his arm free and threw himself blindly inside these endlessly peaceful gardens.

He didn’t know for how long he stumbled between the tall trees that had shed their leaves. The stone pathways under his feet twisted and turned madly almost, making him lose his direction along with his sanity after he heard that Celly had chosen mortality for him.

The thought of her dying for him, drummed his mind into near madness as he tried to find a place where that knowledge seized to exist. He felt as if eons had passed with him stumbling along paths unknown and thick vegetation that seemed dedicated to slash through his forearms …like they had done to Celly two days ago. At that thought he grasped his head and stopped panting.

When he opened his eyes again he was in the midst of a clearing that had a marble pedestal close to a rocky outcrop. He not only had seen this place before, but he knew exactly what it was and how he was supposed to use it. He didn’t even contemplate why this knowledge was in his mind as he observed around him with blazing eyes. The sorrow of what he had heard about Celly was slowly morphing into anger about Lothlórien…about the Elves…about himself….about life itself.

Games… games of the Gods….that’s all they were. Both Elves and Dwarves. Why would the damned Gods allow them to grow feelings for each other, if they intended to allow that love to destroy her so easily? Nothing…they were a mere nothing for those ancient beings that were controlling these worlds. Just a means to an end….an end that would come sooner rather than later for Celly now that he was in her life.

A strong shudder shook not only his body, but the core of his soul. A moment later his eyes blazed with an ancient fire he didn’t even recognize as he walked up to the Mirror. He took the urn and emptied it inside the marble relic. “Show me….” He commanded and leaned over it.

And the Mirror obliged, even though the Lady of Light was not there.

There was only one image inside it, which made him gasp out loud. Celebriel’s beautiful face…broken down by time. Her hair was grey and sparse, her body crooked. She wore a faded crown on her head as she sat at the ruined throne in Durin’s chambers at the peak of Zirakzigil. She turned and looked at him with those eyes of unspeakable splendor he knew so well. Her face was full of lines of sorrow that he had offered her. A visage of endless pain and suffering. She smiled up at him and he felt his heart tightening painfully. “You destroyed me…you and your mortal life. You killed me Durin…I loved you…I climbed the Endless stairs for you…for your dreams….and I destroyed mine. I died for you Durin….I died because I love you.”

If nothing could have broken Durin then those words did it. He became ashen. He stumbled away from the pedestal and leaned against a rock as her elderly image got ingrained into his mind for life.

After that he recalled little. He remained there by the rocky outcrop, trying to forget what he saw in Galadriel’s mirror or what he heard from Elrohir. He sat down heavily as his mind recalled every single memory he ever shared with Celly. From the awkward moment they first met in front of Erebor when they were children to the first kiss he ever gave her, here in Lorien. He teared up heavily when he remembered how she followed him so many times back to Erebor and how his family…his father….his mother…his siblings had embraced her as part of their own family.

He recalled their dreams for a shared life in the future, a marriage…maybe children. He had known her since forever. He had grown up with her. He had shared his mischiefs with her, his dreams, his fears, his needs…his soul and his body. She was his other half…the one who made him whole. For her he would have been able to surpass every fear…every difficulty created by her family. Everything that may have fallen into their path he could conquer if she was by his side….everything but this….

No….not this….

Not witnessing her dying because of him. That he was too weak to handle….too feeble of heart. She was brave to make this sacrifice for him….he was not brave enough to accept it. Even thinking about her growing old next to him….becoming sick…dying in his arms…was able to kill him on the spot. Suddenly he felt a longing to have his father close to him. To share this unexpected torment with him. To ask for his advice…the wisdom of a man who loved two women to the death and suffered dearly for both.

Kneeling next to Galadriel’s mirror he felt the tears releasing for the first time in ages and he didn’t try to stop them. No one was there to witness them after all. He had never expected his first heartbreak to be this painful or to happen for such a foreboding reason. He remained there trying to understand were madness ended and reason begun. He longed to grasp that reason and drive it home….to make it show him the solution to this nightmare….but the lines remained thin…and obscured all through the night. Making him balance precariously between insanity and boundless grief.   

-.-

The break of dawn found Durin at the balcony of his rooms, overlooking the endless forest and the quiet abodes upon the frets on the trees. His eyes were bloodshot and his face haunted. His posture broken and his arms crossed protectively in front of his chest. His regard solemnly steady on the road that he knew Celly would take in order to come to his rooms sooner rather than later. He felt numb….and empty. That night had shrunk him somehow…it had stolen away the fire from his eyes. Till this night he had never realized that love could hurt that bad.

When the door knocked he visibly flinched. It couldn’t be Celly unless she took a less travelled path that he couldn’t see from his balcony, which he doubted. After so many years he knew her usual routes inside out. “Come.” He said quietly without turning around. He didn’t even care who it was.

“Hey what are you doing awake?”

It was Lis and from the uplifted tone of her voice, she was still partially tipsy….if not straight out drunk. He gave her a cold look above his shoulder as she placed the blanket with the dragon egg at one of the plush chairs. He didn’t answer to her, half hoping that she would leave.

She apparently had different ideas. She walked next to him and looked out of his balcony. “That is an amazing view.”

He pressed his lips and his eyes filled with shadows.

“They are treating you like a Prince here…which goes well with your titles.” Lis smiled at her own joke, but his solemn expression didn’t change.

His heavy regard was frozen upon the path. Waiting to see her….

“Of course being the suitor of Lady Galadriel’s great granddaughter helps too.” Lis snorted.

“Enough….” He whispered with a look of revulsion, which was directed towards himself.

The graveness of his tone gave Lis pause. She turned to him with a deep frown and seemingly for the first time observed the paleness of his face. The weakness in his eyes. She touched his shoulder gently and came in front of him. “Hey…you don’t look very well.”

He didn’t remove his eyes from that accursed pathway. He could almost hear her pearly laughter in the midst of all her friends…..or was that his imagination?

“Durin?” -Lis squeezed his bicep- “Did you sleep at all?”

For some reason the concern in her voice made his eyes fill with tears. He shook his head ever so slightly.

Upon seeing his tears, Lis’ voice turned more imperative. “What’s wrong? Is your wound hurting you?”

Durin heard Celly’s beautiful voice echoing through the gardens….approaching him. Approaching her own death….

Lis’ scowl grew deeper when she realized that he was not responding to her. She touched the middle of his chest with one hand and with the other she cupped his cheek. Not something she hadn’t done hundreds of times in the past. “My Master….Durin…what happened?”

His hand instantly came up to clasp hers tightly. “Do you believe in love Lis?” He whispered without taking his eyes from the stone pathway under his balcony.

That took Lis by surprise. A ghostly smile appeared on her lips for a moment before disappearing. “Of course I do…”

The silence from Durin stretched out for several moments, before he turned his azure eyes to her. “What would you do for love?”

Lis visibly hesitated. “What do you mean?”

“Would you die for love?” Durin’s arched brows weaved into an expression of suffering.

Lis inhaled deeply. “Yes. I would die for the one I love without second thought.”

Durin closed his eyes momentarily. “As loyally foolish as she is….” He muttered.

Lis tilted her head and tried to find his eyes again. “What happened to you Durin? What are these questions?”

Durin saw her appearing on the stone pathway. The brightest star of all night skies….from here to Vallinor. Her beauty incomparable…her grace a tale for the myths. Her smile so bright it could bling the sun itself. His heart gave a strong tremor that extended to his hands. Lis felt it.

“Durin?” She murmured quietly.

He turned to her with a frown. “Would you allow the one you adore to die for you?”

The heaviness of his question made Lis gasp, as his hand tightened firmly around hers. “Die for me?”

“Would you let them sacrifice themselves for you?” His eyes narrowed upon her, but every single ounce of his heart was turned towards Celly’s company that was now under his balcony.

Lis’ eyes darted as she tried to find an intelligent answer to such a grave question. “No…I wouldn’t be able to do that…I would die for them instead.” She murmured.

Durin closed his eyes briefly and nodded heavily. When he opened them, he saw Celly turning her head towards him. Instantly her face opened up like a flower bud….Her eyes lit up and the smile she reserved just for him was stunning. She lifted her hand and waved at him from afar. He felt his heart sinking into the darkest abyss a mere moment before he leaned down and captured Lis’ lips in a kiss that was destined to create a fissure into the very fabric of reality for all three of them.

Lis’ visceral gasp towards his bold move, caused him to push her upon the railing both in anguish and despair. His hand got buried under her long braid and clasped her nape possessively as he deepened the kiss with every ounce of courage that had remained in his heart. Lis’ murmur of pleasure was muted by Celly’s painful cry, which tore out a piece of his heart.

“Durin!”

The devastated tone of Celly’s voice made him stop. He gritted his teeth and his fingers tightened around Lis’ thigh. His nose flared as he pushed back and forced himself to look at the love of his life. Celly’s eyes were already brimming with tears. Her lips parted in silent protest and then she turned around and run away from the stone pathway….away from his balcony and the nightmares she had witnessed upon it. He gazed numbly at Celly’s friends whose eyes were accusatory as they followed their devastated friend to her rooms.

He was visibly trembling when he looked back at Lis. Her face a mixture of confusion and flustering. Her chest heaving and her cheeks red. “Durin…what….what was that?” Her whisper was broken.

He felt his eyes overflowing with tears as he clutched both her hands. He crushed his lips upon them and closed his eyes. “Please forgive me….” 

Lis shook her head lost.

“Forgive me Lis…” He muttered and kissed her palms fervently. Then with no more words he released her and dashed out of his rooms.

When the door crashed behind him, Lis felt her knees unlocking. She sat down on his balcony, feeling her body more awake than it had ever been in her entire life…and her heart overflowing with shadows.

-.-