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Chapter Text

There was a week left before classes started, that kept Dean nervous, he was about to enter university, he was at the airport saying goodbye to his parents and his younger brother Sam, he would miss them too much, they had always been a united family but he had to go and start to study at university if he wanted to achieve his dreams, having a great restaurant on the outskirts of New York. From a very young age he had set himself the goal of becoming one of the best chefs in the country and the time had come to polish his culinary skills.

"I promise to come back on Christmas vacation." Dean hugged his mother, Mary, from him.

"Write to me whenever you can." The woman asked, she caressed her cheek and smiled, Dean nodded.

"The Impala will be waiting for you," John said, touching his son's shoulder.

"Maybe she can handle it so she doesn't feel abandoned." Sam commented, Dean gave him a dirty look.

"Over my dead body, boy," Dean said, Sam feigned indignation.

"I'm only two years younger than you, how come I'm a child compared to you?" The youngest crossed his arms, Mary put her arm around him and pulled him to her, hugging him.

"It's time for me to go." Dean said when he heard the loudspeaker call his flight, he hugged his mother once again, then his father and finally his little brother, he ruffled his hair even though the boy It was a light pole. He heard him complain and laughed satisfied, he began to walk and turned once again waving his hand to say goodbye to his family.

He was flying from Kansas to New York to attend the best culinary school in the entire country, Culinary Institute of America, he had managed to get a scholarship for his talent in the kitchen when in May he auditioned for the directors of the college, Sam had scoffed that his audition had been Master Chef style. Since there were no dormitories on campus, the university assigned him an apartment that he would share with another student. He wasn't very excited about that either, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

When he managed to leave the airport he told the taxi where he was going, it was his first time in New York, so he didn't know what to expect. He thanked the taxi driver for taking him, paid and got out of the taxi, they were quite nice apartments, only students lived there, because above the door there was a plaque that said "Student House." Luckily the university had sent him his keys by mail, so he took them out of his small backpack and opened the door. He was quite calm, it was still vacation, perhaps many were still away.
He closed the door behind him and walked down the hallway, he had to look for apartment 202, he looked around, there were some books on the sofa in the lobby, he could hear that in one of the apartments there was music, when he collided with a small glass table, causing his keys to fall from his hands, he cursed under his breath and bent down to pick them up.

"You must be one of the new ones." He heard a female voice, Dean looked up and found a red-haired and smiling girl, Dean stood up.

"I'm Dean," he said, smiling.

"I'm Charlie, I'm in the third semester of Computer Engineering." She answered smiling. "What major will you be in?"

"Gastronomy." Dean said looking at the key in his hand.

"That's great!" Charlie said, then looked towards the door that was open. "Did you hear that, Benny? We already know who will cook!"

A boy came out of the room, he was brown and had blue eyes, he had a beard and like Charlie, he was wearing pajamas, he had a cigarette in his hand and he smiled at Dean.

"So we have a Chef." Said the guy looking at Dean. "I'm Benny, fourth semester of Law."

"Dean."  He nodded. "My younger brother also plans to study law."

"The boy knows what he wants." Benny smiled at him. "What department will you be in?"

"Uhm... 202." Dean said looking at the key with the apartment number, Benny and Charlie let out a moan. "What?"

"Castiel will be your partner." Charlie said making a face, Dean frowned.

"Is that something bad?" Dean asked, frowning.

"Depending on how you see it," Benny said, smoking his cigarette. "If you like being mistreated and humiliated, he's probably the perfect partner." Benny smiled sarcastically. "The guy is quite serious, he studies criminology, he has a pretty bad character."

"I think I can handle it." Dean was not an easy prey.

"His last roommate only lasted a week and then he took all his things and left, he was quite crazy." Charlie said almost in a whisper, as if someone else could hear them.  "I'll take you to your new apartment if you like"

"Sure, that would be great." Dean tried to smile.

"If you decide that Castiel is too much for you, Charlie or I can give you shelter." Benny smiled and Dean nodded, they changed until they reached the stairs, when they reached the first floor they found two boys playing in the hallway, they were fighting each other on the floor.

"Hey guys!" Charlie greeted them and they stopped their fight. "We have a new neighbor."

"Hey!" Said the boy who was on top of the other. "I'm Kevin."

"Hello friend." Said the other. "I'm Ash."

"I'm Dean, gastronomy." Dean tried not to laugh, because of the position in which the boys were fighting.

"Brilliant! Finally we will have homemade food." Ash said from the floor.

"Keep doing your thing," Charlie said, then the two looked at each other and continued fighting. Charlie guided Dean to the stairs, reaching the second floor. They walked until they reached the door that marked 202 outside. "We're here."

"Thank you." Dean smiled at him, Charlie seemed to be great. "Is Castiel home?"

"Nope." Charlie said. "He left a few days ago, I don't know when he'll be back." Charlie shrugged his shoulders. "We're not great friends."

"Does he get along badly with everyone?" Dean asked, Charlie nodded. "It shouldn't be that bad..."

"Judge it with your own eyes when I get back," Charlie said, touching Dean's shoulder. "If you need anything, you can look for me at 104, Benny, who's at 5."

"Thank you." Charlie nodded and walked down the hallway. Dean turned on his heel and opened the door to his new apartment.

It was not that big but it was not small either, he looked around, the walls were turquoise blue, everything was quite well organized, to his right was the hallway to the rooms, in front of him was a small living room with two sofas and there was a television, there were shelves with many books and some vases but there were no photographs, to the left was the kitchen door, what mattered most to him, he left his suitcases on the floor and went to the kitchen, when he opened the door he found It was surprising, almost everything was orange, there was plenty of space but it seemed empty, maybe that Castiel guy didn't use the kitchen.

When he left the kitchen he went to the hallway of the rooms, there were three doors, the one at the end of the hallway he could see was the bathroom, when he opened the door on the left he deduced that it was Castiel's room, at the desk. Next to the bed there were books and papers in two columns, there was a small rug and the window, he closed the door and opened the other door behind him, that would be his room.

After several hours of unpacking clothes, photographs and everything he had brought from home, he decided to take a shower to relax his muscles, he stayed there for several minutes letting the hot water run through his entire body, he turned off the taps and let out a sigh. , that had been very relaxing, wrapped a towel around her hip and left the bathroom. Upon opening the door he noticed that Castiel's door was open, perhaps he had already arrived.

Castiel left his room and found Dean half naked, they looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, Castiel kept a firm and cold gaze, almost expressionless. Dean had to accept that he was quite attractive, his piercing blue eyes, his tousled hair and his firm jaw could make you dream.

"I was informed that you would arrive on Saturday," Castiel said and Dean almost had a respiratory arrest, his voice was deep.

"I decided to arrive a little early," Dean said, clearing his throat to avoid sounding so sharp.

"I already noticed." Castiel said and walked towards the living room, he looked at Dean indicating for him to follow him. "Very well, house rules. ONE. Everything must be kept in its place. TWO. No parties or meetings. THREE. No noise after midnight. FOUR. No drinks or food on the sofa or carpet. FIVE. Don't touch my things. SIX. No small talk..."

"Would you mind writing it down?" Dean asked, he was being sarcastic, although there were too many rules to remember.

"SEVEN. Don't joke with me and the last but not least, we are not here to be friends, we both want to study." Castiel was staring at Dean, he began to feel a little uncomfortable since he was not bringing anything but a towel, he felt a shiver. run through your spine. "Understood?"

"I think so," Dean said, nodding, then Castiel walked down the hallway and closed the door to his room behind him, Dean went to his own and closed the door too.

Castiel was going to be difficult to deal with.

Chapter Text

Dean woke up around nine in the morning, the apartment was completely silent, when he left his room he confirmed that he was alone, he took a jacket and went out to buy ingredients for breakfast, he decided to make something simple, pancakes, bacon and French bread, after a quick purchase at the supermarket -which was one street away-, he returned to the apartment to go to the kitchen, he began to make breakfast, he thought about just making breakfast for himself, since Castiel was not there, but he decided to cook for both of them, he listened to Ramble On by Led Zeppelin on his cell phone while he was preparing French bread, he heard the apartment door open, he looked towards the door waiting for Castiel to come in but he didn't, Dean shrugged his shoulders and He continued his work, getting carried away by the song, Dean began to sing.

"Ramble on, and now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song..." Not caring about Castiel's presence in the apartment, he sang as if he were alone. "... Mine's a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear..."

A few minutes later there was a knock on his door, Dean stopped and walked towards the door, when he opened it he found Charlie smiling, Benny came with her, Dean greeted him and invited them to come into the apartment, he closed the door behind them and they headed to the kitchen where they took a seat while they watched Dean cook.

"How was your first night?" Benny asked, drawing Dean's gaze.

"Decent..." Dean shrugged.

"You already met Castiel, so..." Charlie said in a whisper, because they knew he was in the apartment.

"It was quite intimidating." Dean got a chill just remembering his look, he took two cups and served coffee to the boys.

"You'll get used to it." Benny smiled and took a sip of his coffee. "I hope so."

Dean snorted and put the pancake mixture on the pan, Castiel entered the room, everyone remained silent waiting for some reaction from him.

"Charlotte." Castiel said greeting. "Benjamin."

"Castiel," Benny said without looking at him, Dean noticing the discomfort.

Castiel went straight to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water, he drank some with his back to everyone, Charlie and Benny looked at each other and then looked at Dean.

"Do you want breakfast?" Dean asked, not quite sure what he was doing. Castiel looked at him, taking another sip from the bottle.

"I already had breakfast," he answered leaving the kitchen, Dean looked at Charlie and Benny and shrugged.

He spent almost the entire day on the streets of New York with Charlie, getting to know places, ways of getting around and some not very recommendable streets. After buying an ice cream they headed back to the building, where they said goodbye and everyone arrived at his apartment. When he opened the door he found Castiel sitting on the couch, talking on the phone, taking notes while he nodded.
He exchanged glances with Dean for a few seconds, Dean looked away and went to his room, where he organized his clothes, then he had a brief video call with Sam to talk about his first night, around 3 in the afternoon he started to get hungry and he went to the kitchen to prepare something, Castiel remained in the same position, only now he had his laptop on his lap.

"Do you want to eat?" Dean asked, he didn't really know what tone to use, it wasn't like he was afraid of Castiel because of what he had heard about him, but the boy seemed defensive most of the time. Castiel didn't take his eyes off the laptop screen, Dean thought maybe he had ignored him.

"No thanks," he said in a neutral tone, Dean shrugged and entered the kitchen, thinking about what he could come up with to cook.

It was quite boring to eat alone, before he used to sit at the table and joke with his parents, sometimes it bothered Sam, but it was the best time to talk and catch up, but now he was alone at that empty table. Castiel entered the kitchen and without looking at Dean he walked to the refrigerator, took out a beer and left the room.

Dean didn't really understand how Castiel could ignore him, he didn't care in the slightest about him, he was very sure that he didn't even know his name, because he had never asked him, Dean began to get uncomfortable, because he didn't understand how. He could be so disinterested, he didn't know anything about the person he would share an apartment with. After Dean washed the utensils that he had used, he went to his room and stayed there the rest of the afternoon, later that night he made himself a coffee and returned to his room and then fell asleep soundly.

The week passed faster than he thought, he had met other students those days, they were all quite nice. Crowley, who was studying the sixth semester of business administration and was an exchange student. Ana was studying her first semester of medicine. Jo - Ash's sister - was studying fashion design in her second semester.

Sunday night was quite exhausting, he had not been able to sleep much due to nerves, it was going to be his first day at the most coveted cooking school in the country, he knew he had to give his best. On Monday he just took a big drink of his cup of coffee and left the apartment, he wanted to arrive early, although it was without much success because he arrived when there were 5 minutes left before the first class started. It was a small introduction to the career, where all the directors and teachers who would be working with all of them were introduced.
Dean recognized some, because when he had auditioned they had been there.

This was Dean's big chance.

The first week of school left Dean exhausted, on Saturday at noon he was on the couch reviewing his notes, on Monday he would have his first nutrition exam, Mrs. Kersh would give them one weekly, every Friday, the exam was postponed because they had a small welcome event where Dean made "friends", Sidney was the first to approach him, her attitude reminded him a lot of Sam, as if she were his clone in woman, who introduced him to Lee.

"It's pretty overwhelming here," Sidney said, taking a seat next to Dean.

"It's an attempt at welcoming." Dean shrugged and the girl smiled at him.

"I'm Sidney, but you can call me Sid." she stretched out her hand, she was short, her smile was sweet and her voice was not high-pitched like most, she was brown and had green eyes. He definitely reminded her of his little brother.

"Dean," he took her hand and shook it.

"Don't you sit in front of me in some class?" Sid frowned and cocked his head.

"I think so..." Dean answered, suddenly a boy approached them, probably of average height, with messy hair and a sideways smile.

"Dean, this is Lee." Sid stood next to Dean who was staring at the other boy. "Lee, meet Dean."

"Lee Webb," Dean said in a firm tone and frown.

"Dean Winchester." Lee answered, approaching slowly, Sid looked at them with concern, the two smiled and gave each other a big hug. "Dude, it seems like I haven't seen you in years."

And Lee was right, they both grew up in Kansas, they were a whirlwind together, but their family decided to move when they were 14, they lost touch, but here they were reunited again, it was a good time.

The apartment was in total silence, Dean had been rereading the same line for several minutes, he couldn't concentrate, he could only hear the shower water running in the distance, Castiel was probably taking a shower, his mind wandered reviewing the previous exciting days. but full of fear of the unknown, this was not like any other school year, it was about their career, in the best school, it was not just anything.

Suddenly the water stopped, he heard the bathroom door open and he assumed that Castiel had finished, he kept his eyes fixed on his notebook, he heard footsteps approaching down the hallway and Castiel grumble, Dean looked up and opened his eyes in surprise. , Castiel paraded through the apartment with soap on his head and abdomen, he was wearing a towel around his waist that threatened to fall off, Dean quickly looked down at his book.

"Jesus, Castiel." He exclaimed without knowing exactly where to look, Castiel looked at him for a few seconds with a frown.

"The hot water turned off." He said naturally, he entered the kitchen and looked at him through the bar, he entered the small utility room where he turned on the boiler again.

To Dean's surprise, at dinner time Castiel sat with him at the table, he didn't say anything, Castiel was drinking coffee while reading a book, Dean checked his phone from time to time but decided to break the silence, he didn't care. Yes, Castiel would spend his life ignoring him, but he at least wanted to know what kind of person he lived with.

"So... Criminology, huh?" Dean spoke, he looked carefully at Castiel waiting for him to at least look at him.

"Are you trying to make small talk with me?" Castiel asked without taking his eyes off the book.

"No, that's prohibited." Dean said smiling. Castiel looked at him for a few seconds and looked down to continue reading. "I see you're not a big fan of talking... I'm studying gastronomy, it's actually my first week in the faculty."

"Good for you," Castiel answered once again without even looking at him, Dean thought that was very rude.

"What semester are you in?" Dean asked, biting his nails.

"I'm not new." I answered, taking a sip of his coffee, Dean began to play with his fingers.

"Do you like your career?" Castiel looked up and looked at Dean for a few seconds, he saw him as he had done the first time they had met, Dean felt a shiver.

"What is this?" He said in an aggressive tone. "The game of twenty questions or something like that?"

"I just want to know about you." Dean shrugged and looked down at his fingers.

"I told you that I was not interested in who you are." Castiel said. "You shouldn't give a shit."

"But I care." Dean said annoyed, he looked up meeting those cold blue eyes. "I just want to know who the hell I'm living with."

"Are you afraid that I'll do something to you?" Dean didn't know how to interpret his tone, was it a mockery?  "I'm just a student like you and anyone else."

"You don't even know my name..." Dean said, looking away.

"You are Dean Winchester, you are 18 years old and you are from Lawrence, Kansas." Castiel said as if it were obvious, Dean looked at him. "Of course I know who is going to live under the same roof as me."

"How...?" Dean frowned.

"I'm just doing my homework." Castiel shrugged and looked back at his reading, he needed Castiel to see him again, he wanted to know more, because he felt at a disadvantage.

"It doesn't cost you anything to answer any of my questions." Dean shrugged.

"They seem stupid to me," he said without looking at him once again.

"So you think you're stupid..." Dean said getting Castiel's attention, he congratulated himself, Castiel slammed the book shut and stood up, making his chair squeak.

"You're unbearable." Castiel was about to leave the kitchen, but he had to know that no one treated Dean Winchester badly.

"You're pathetic, you and all that bad boy appearance." Dean replied, challenging him. He stood up and began to approach slowly. Castiel looked at him over his shoulder. "Did your dark past make you close yourself off toward others?" He began to mock while he was two meters away from him. "Or did someone break your heart and you can no longer trust anyone?" Castiel turned on his heels and continued looking at him with a frown trying to understand why he provoked him. "Oh, my favorite thing... Do you have daddy issues Cas? " Dean is less than a meter away from him when Castiel grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the door to his right, Dean was afraid of being hit, Castiel glared at him.

"Shove your questions up your ass, Winchester," Castiel answered in a low but quite aggressive tone.

"You'd like to see that, wouldn't you?" Dean challenged him once again.

"I could break your nose right now," Castiel said. "But you're not worth it." He let go of him suddenly and left the kitchen. Dean let out the breath he had been holding, put a hand on his chest and watched the hallway Castiel walked down, that boy was pretty tough but he didn't intimidate Dean.

The next week was calm, Dean attended his classes and in his free time he was with Sid and Lee, on Thursday Lee invited him to a party where there would be students from other majors and semesters, he agreed to go so as not to stay at home and have to endure the tension between him and Cas, they had been ignoring each other as always, but more than anything Castiel now avoided being in the same room as him.

When classes ended, Sid invited them to his apartment where they spent the afternoon until 7:30, then they went out to the party that had started at six o'clock, the house was packed with dancing college students, some quite drunk, Sidney excused herself and went to greet some other girls, so Dean and Lee went to get a glass of beer and leaned against one of the columns near the stairs.

"Are you planning on taking someone home?" Lee asked him as he took a drink from his glass. He had known Dean's sexual preferences since they had entered seventh grade and had always supported him.

"I don't know, maybe." Dean shrugged and looked around. "You?"

"I want to try it with Sidney." Dean frowned and looked at his friend. "I've liked her for a long time..."

"How long have you known her?"

"For two years." Lee searched among the people for Sid. "So don't you dare, Winchester."

"You have nothing to fear." Dean shrugged and laughed.

After a few drinks Dean found himself in a corner of the room flirting with a boy whose name he didn't remember. Neither of them was completely drunk so without saying goodbye to their friends they decided to go to a quieter place.

Dean's apartment was the closest, so as soon as he opened the door, the boy pounced on him and they began to kiss. After groping to close the door, he took the boy's hand and guided him to his room where the kisses continued. until they stripped off all their clothing.

Dean had enjoyed that quite a bit and if only he remembered anything about that guy, he'd call him a second time.

Chapter Text

Castiel woke up early like every Saturday and went out for a run. He hadn't been able to sleep much because of the noise Dean had made. When he returned to the apartment he prepared the coffee maker. He was going to need a lot of caffeine to survive the day. The door to Dean's room was heard thundering, he had probably woken up, but he was surprised to see another boy coming out of there, he was only wearing boxers, Castiel looked at him for a few seconds.

"Hey." Said the guy, he poured himself a glass of water. "I'm sorry for the noise we must have made last night."

"There's not much to do anymore," Castiel answered, shrugging his shoulders.

"I have to go but could you tell Dean to call me?" The boy walked to the door and Castiel could see his back full of marks, he raised his eyebrows. "My number is on his nightstand."

The boy left the kitchen and a few minutes later he returned dressed, waved goodbye and left the apartment. Castiel took a seat at the table and drank his coffee while he continued reading his book.
An hour later Dean woke up and appeared in the kitchen in just boxers, like his guest, Castiel didn't take his eyes off the book.

"Yesterday you brought the party home," Castiel said without taking his eyes off the book, Dean stopped and looked at him.

"Did you hear?" Dean asked, smiling.

"Me and the whole floor heard you."Castiel took a sip of his coffee, he was already on his second cup of the day, Dean laughed. "You're very loud."

"I was enjoying it." Dean shrugged, Castiel shook his head and said nothing else.

On Wednesday Dean didn't have homework, so he decided to advance his project for Gastronomy and Cooking class, at the end of the month he had to deliver a dessert. He had decided on angel food cake, he knew it was very simple but he really liked it, his mother used to make it especially for him when he was a child.
It wasn't difficult to find the ingredients, so after a few hours the cake was ready, it smelled pretty good, when tasting it he felt like something was missing, it tasted very good but Dean felt like it wasn't good enough.
He peeked through the bar, Castiel was on the same couch as always, writing on his laptop with a frown.

"Castiel..." He cleared his throat, Castiel didn't look up until he finished writing. "Could you give me your opinion on something?"

"I'm not going to give you advice." Castiel raised his eyebrows, Dean shook his head.

"Could you try my cake? " Dean said with a little embarrassment. Castiel closed the book and looked at it for a few seconds. "It's for my class, please..."

Dean looked at him with pleading eyes, Castiel hesitated for a few seconds but letting out a sigh, he stood up and walked to the bar, the Winchester smiled at him and turned around to serve him a slice of the cake, Castiel was surprised by how good it was. smelled, took a fork and broke the bread, putting a bite in his mouth.

"What is this?" Novak asked surprised, Dean was afraid it would taste bad. "It tastes very good."

"Angel food cake," Dean answered. Castiel raised his eyebrows and took another bite. "Have you never tried it before?"

"No." Castiel said while chewing. "I had never heard of it."

"Your mother never prepared it?" Dean asked surprised, he could tell that his question had made him uncomfortable, the expression on his face was once again hard as always.

"No." Was the only thing he answered, he looked away, leaving the fork on the plate.

"Don't you feel like something is missing?" Dean changed the subject, Castiel looked at the plate for a few seconds.

"No, it would be very sweet if you added more sugar." Castiel shrugged and returned to the couch to continue typing on his laptop.

"Okay," Dean answered, nodding. "Aren't you going to finish that slice?"

Castiel looked up and stared at the cake on the counter, he knew he couldn't resist, he stood up and took the plate. Dean smiled satisfied and began to collect all the ingredients he had used, now came the most boring part of cooking: cleaning.

The next day Dean returned home a little earlier than normal, when he arrived at his apartment he was surprised to see a girl sitting on the couch, maybe it was Castiel's girlfriend, Dean thought.
She was brunette and not very tall, her hair was curled a little below her shoulder, she had a mocking smile, the moment Dean entered the girl seemed to scan him, the Winchester smiled without showing his teeth and closed the door behind him.

"Clarence didn't tell me he had a new toy." He said smiling, Dean frowned. "I'm Meg..."

"Dean," he answered, leaving his backpack on the floor, Castiel approached down the hallway with two books.

"So tell me Dean..." Meg spoke as Castiel took a seat next to her. "How is he in bed?"

"What?" Dean said without even moving from his place.

"Meg, leave him alone." Castiel answered, opening one of the books. "He's just my roommate."

"Oh..." Meg said without taking her eyes off Dean. "So you're available... Do you like playing with girls or with boys?"

"I... uhm." Dean pointed down the hallway and got closer to the hallway and almost run until he reached his room, he heard that girl's laugh behind him, Dean closed the door behind him, that had been quite uncomfortable.

Half an hour later he left his room and returned to the living room, Meg and Castiel were still on the couch taking notes and reading. Dean grabbed his backpack from the floor and headed to his room again, trying not to lock eyes with Meg.
When he was about to close the door he heard that Meg had mentioned him, he stopped for a few moments to listen to the conversation.

"Not bad at all, huh?" She said, she could hear a murmur from Castiel. "Oh come on Clarence, you could take advantage of his stay."

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked, raising his voice.

"I'm just saying that you two could have some fun..." Meg said with a higher tone. "You're not going to deny that he's easy on the eyes."

"Dean has his thing..." he heard Castiel say, Dean raised his eyebrows. "But he's not my type."

"Nonsense, Novak," Meg told him, laughing. "I heard you talk about him the other time with Balthazar on the phone."

"How do you know I was talking about Dean?"

"Your description fits the boy." Meg said with a mocking tone. "Blonde, sexy, good lips, newbie..."

"Shut your mouth," Castiel said and Meg started to laugh.

"You like him Novak," she could hear Castiel growl, Dean smiled biting his lip.

He heard footsteps approaching and closed the door as carefully as possible, it was time to start studying for Mrs. Kersh's weekly exam.

On Friday he attended a massive party with Lee, this time Sid had decided to stay home, so Lee and Dean went back to being the dynamic duo they used to be when they were younger, Lee had kissed quite a few girls and boys, -he was too drunk to notice -, throughout the night there was a boy who had been seducing Dean, Nick, he was not as drunk as last time, it was a shame that the boy had left without saying goodbye.
He invited Nick back to go with him, not that Dean was super needy or anything, he just enjoyed having fun with other people. He hadn't regretted inviting him. He knew Castiel would be very upset in the morning, but Dean was enjoying it quite a bit.

On Saturday afternoon Dean stayed at home, researching the origin of angel food cake and his nutritional report, Castiel was also in the living room, in the same place as always, he used his laptop like Dean, they stayed in touch. Silence until the door rang, the Winchester stood up and walked towards the door after opening it, Charlie stood in front of him smiling.

"Hi, I'm just here to return your container where you gave me cake." Charlie held out the container and Dean took it. "It tasted great."

"Thank you." Dean smiled. "I'll save you some for next time."

"I hope so." Charlie winked and said goodbye.

Dean closed the door and headed to the kitchen, it was after 5 in the afternoon, it was time to eat something, he approached the bar and looked at Castiel.

"Do you want to eat?" Dean asked, he knew he would get no for an answer.

"Okay," Castiel said nodding, Dean raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything else.

Half an hour later they sat opposite each other at the table and began to eat, it was the first time that Castiel accepted Dean's food, he didn't know how to take it but it was somewhat comforting, he was beginning to think that Castiel was a Vampire and that's why he didn't. He fed on nothing.

"I admit that last night we did make quite a fuss." Dean said looking at Castiel. "I'm sorry."

"Is this how every Friday will be?" Castiel asked displeased.

"I don't think so..." Dean took a sip from his glass. "Only when I'm not so exhausted...do you mind if I bring "guests"?"

"I'm not interested in what you do." Castiel shrugged his shoulders. "But keep your voice down, it seems like they're killing someone."

Dean blushed and didn't say anything else, he didn't know he moaned so loudly, he was a little embarrassed that Castiel heard him all those times asking for more and cursing all those times.

On Monday morning Dean woke up quite disoriented, there were still 2 hours before his classes started, so he calmly stood up and approached the bathroom, he didn't hear any noise so he assumed that Castiel had already left. 
When he opened the door he noticed that the bathroom had a warm temperature, Castiel had probably showered not long ago, he closed the door behind him and took off his pajamas and boxers, he pulled the shower curtain, he was startled when he saw Castiel in front of him, completely soaked and naked, Dean stood still trying to process what was happening. Castiel looked at him from head to toe for a few seconds.

"What are you doing?" He asked Dean.

"I-I..." Dean blinked twice and held his breath. Castiel didn't say anything else, he walked brushing his left shoulder with Dean's, he just followed him with his eyes, Castiel took a towel and wrapped it around his hip, then he looked at Dean once again and left the bathroom. .

Dean was pretty distracted all day, all he could think about was the uncomfortable incident he had in the bathroom. When he got home he was grateful that Castiel stayed in his room all afternoon. After midnight, Dean was still tossing and turning in his bed. He couldn't sleep. He was quite horny.
He didn't think it was a bad idea to take another shower, maybe that would relax him, he stood up and left his room to enter the bathroom and turn on the water that started to run, Castiel was studying for his chemistry exam, he stopped when he heard the water running.
When Dean took off his pajamas and entered the shower letting the water run over his body, he let out a sigh and placed his forehead on the cold china, he closed his eyes for a moment and his right hand traveled until he reached his member, he put his hand on it and began to slide it, massaging himself slowly, he needed to do it if he wanted to sleep, that's the only reason he did it, he told himself mentally so as not to feel so bad about himself.

He began to pump himself, increasing the speed from time to time, some gasps escaped his lips, he was afraid of being heard but that made it exciting, he bit his lip trying to calm the involuntary sounds that came from his lips. The image of Castiel freshly showered, completely soaked, naked appeared in his mind.
The speed of his hand increased even more with that thought, with his thumb he caressed the tip of it, he took it to the slot where he covered it with his fingertip. Unable to help it, an audible moan left his lips, he thought about his well-formed chest, his messy hair, his back and how good it would feel to scratch him, while Castiel moaned hoarsely in his ear, that was more than enough for Dean to reach orgasm, he breathed deeply and for a few seconds he kept his eyes closed, he cleaned his hand and finished rinsing to return to his room, now he felt a little ashamed for what he had imagined, he shook his head and threw himself on the bed to get some sleep.

Castiel remained silent, listening to the gasps and sighs that came from the bathroom, they mixed with the noise of the water, but the echo made them resonate. A part of Castiel was delighted with what he had heard and he wished the gasps had sounded louder, and even been the cause. But Castiel wouldn't admit it, he wasn't going to give in so easily to his impulses, he did his best to control himself and decided to go to sleep.

Dean was walking along the sidewalk, he really liked to appreciate buildings, so most of the time he looked up at the sky, he turned the corner and walked a few more meters and then went up the small stairs of the building, he stopped at the door to look for the keys, he heard footsteps approaching and was startled when he raised his head, Castiel was next to him opening the door, he entered and stood in front of him stopping the door, waiting for him to enter, Dean nodded in a gesture of gratitude and He entered, closing the door behind him.
Neither of them said anything, he still didn't know how to approach topics of conversation with that man, he was afraid that he would try to hit him like that time in the kitchen.
Dean knew he deserved it for the invasive comments he made.

Suddenly Benny appeared in front of them, he glared at Castiel for a few seconds, his expression became firm and tense, but then he exchanged glances with Dean, his jaw relaxed and he smiled at him.

"Dean." Benny approached the pair, Castiel watched them for a few seconds and without saying anything he continued on his way to the apartment. "How is school treating you?"

"Well, it's quite different from what I imagined..." Dean nodded.

"On Friday there will be a party at a friend's house." Benny said, Dean nodded making him continue. "Many people from different majors and faculties are going, even Charlie is going and she hates parties..." Dean laughed. "I was Thinking maybe you could come with us, if you have nothing to do..."

"I think it's a good idea..." Dean nodded thoughtfully. "Do you think we'll meet here at 8?"

"Of course, I'll tell Charlie..." Benny patted his shoulder and continued on his way to the main door of the building. Dean continued on his way too. When he arrived at the apartment he opened the door expecting to find Castiel on the couch like everyone else. days, but there was no one there.

He closed the door behind him and headed to his room, he had an essay due on Thursday, so it was better to get to work.

During the week he found out that Sid and Lee were also invited to the party, he was quite pleased with that, at least he would meet more people there. On Friday he said goodbye to them and headed home to rest a little before the party, the night before he had spent studying thanks to Mrs. Kersh.

Castiel wasn't home, which surprised Dean, maybe he was out with his friend Meg. He knew that it was unlikely that he would attend the party, it seemed that he didn't like people very much.

At eight o'clock he left his apartment and went downstairs to find Charlie and Benny in the Lobby waiting for him. He greeted them briefly and they left the building on the way to the party, it was in a loft, it was quite full and the music was echoing in their chests when they entered, after looking for a drink they went to sit in a corner where the music was not so loud, Minutes later Ash, Jo and Ana joined them.
Dean was enjoying this, they seemed very fun, they were talking about anecdotes from previous years, their first times at university, but they were trying to integrate Dean by asking him questions about him, but then it seemed that Ana asked the question in which everyone was interested, so he did. They looked quite attentive.

"What is it like living with Castiel?" Ana asked him bluntly.

"It's not that bad..." Dean shrugged. "I thought it would be a nightmare based on what Charlie and Benny had told me." Ana and Jo laughed, Dean frowned.

"Benny hates Castiel, it's clear he's going to tell you the worst about him." Jo said looking at Benny who just shrugged.

"I'm just saying that that brother is part of the dark side of the force." Benny said, taking a sip of his beer.

"The truth is that we don't know if Castiel has a good side," Ana said, taking a seat in front of Dean.

"But why do you think all that?" Dean asked, frowning. He was very curious to know what Castiel had done to make him a villain.

"We have history..." Benny took another sip of his beer and Dean watched him waiting for him to continue. "I've known Castiel since we were 15, he's always been..." Benny seemed to be trying to find the right word to describe him. "Castiel, he moved to my neighborhood at that time, all the girls were crazy about him, including my sister." Dean already knew where this story was going. "They were good friends but she ended up falling in love, the night she confessed to him. I don't know what the hell he did to her that completely destroyed her." Benny sounded quite angry. "It took her a long time to get back to her old self, she never wanted to tell me." Benny shook his head. "At one of our practices we started to fight and there were quite a few blows, that boy is dangerous Dean, he likes to make others suffer.

Dean didn't say anything, it sounded like teen drama, but if someone did that to Sammy, he'd probably smash their face in too. He internally thanked Ash when he changed the subject and the laughter and banter continued.
He was feeling a little disappointed, with a small hole in his chest, but there's nothing that alcohol can't fix, he drank plenty and had fun. He came home accompanied once again, he didn't care if Castiel was there, they didn't even get to his room, they went straight to the couch and started kissing passionately, throughout the night he caught himself sighing Castiel's name several times, as he another boy didn't seem to care, his conscience only hoped that Castiel wasn't home.

Chapter Text

The next morning Dean woke up suddenly when he heard a door slam, he was quite sore, he was on his back on the carpet, he looked up and could see Castiel looking at him with his arms crossed.
Dean looked down at the couch between them and could see a boy asleep there, luckily they were both wearing boxers.

"Good morning." Dean smiled at Castiel, stretching.

"Did you have sex on my couch?" Castiel asked in his usual tone, in which Dean didn't know if he was angry or calm.

"Maybe," Dean muttered, he stood up as best he could.

"How disgusting." Castiel shook his head and entered the kitchen, Dean approached the boy who was on the couch and touched his shoulder, making him wake up.

"Good morning," Dean said with a smile. The boy sat up on the couch and smiled sleepily. "Are you staying for breakfast?"

"No, I'm sorry." The boy made a face. "It will be for another time."

Dean nodded, looking at him intently, he smiled kindly. When his eyes drifted to the kitchen counter and he could see Castiel checking his cell phone, he raised his eyebrows.
He believed that the boy had a resemblance to someone, after a few minutes of watching the boy get dressed he could understand who he looked like, jet black hair, blue eyes, a few centimeters taller. He didn't quite understand how he had ended up with that boy on the couch.

"See you around," Dean said, following him to the door, the boy smiled at him and approached to give him a small kiss on the lips.

"I hope it's soon." Dean smiled sideways without showing his teeth and watched him leave the apartment. The kiss had taken him by surprise but he had found it kind of cute.

"Do you even know his name?" Castiel asked, leaning against the door frame.

"I can ask." Dean shrugged. "Normally I'm not one to repeat myself, but this guy did pretty well last night." Castiel shook his head.

"You're going to disinfect that couch." He pointed with his index finger and returned to the kitchen, Dean followed him and began to prepare breakfast, fried eggs with bacon, something very simple.
They were eating at the table in silence.

"Did you have fun last night too?" Dean asked taking a sip of his coffee, he could see how Castiel's jaw tensed. He was afraid that she would not answer him.

"No," he said without even looking up. "I don't usually have one-night stands."

"Are you an old-fashioned lover?" Dean raised his eyebrows smiling, hoping that Castiel would understand the reference. Castiel looked at him for a few seconds and frowned. "You know... Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, by Queen."

"It seems inappropriate to sleep with someone you don't know and don't even remember his name." Castiel shrugged.

"I see your point." Dean nodded. "Then why did you disappear all night?"

"That's none of your business, Dean," Castiel said, Dean hated that feeling of believing there was progress and then knowing that he was wrong.

He didn't say anything else, they stayed silent, at least Dean knew he was uncomfortable, he stood up and cleaned up everything he had used.

Hours later after studying, he wanted to watch a movie, he went to Netflix and spent at least an hour looking for a movie, Castiel approached down the hallway.

"Hey Cas." Dean said, Castiel raised his eyebrows and looked at him strangely because of the nickname. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

Without saying anything, he approached the couch and took a seat next to Dean, half an hour later they still couldn't find anything. More than three times he had recommended Call Me By Your Name, Dean had never seen it but he had heard about it, Castiel didn't seem to care so they started watching it.

Dean thought it was a very real, cute story, it reminded him of a boy he had once gone out with, they weren't exactly dating, but they were together for several months, then one day he walked away and he was able to see him holding hands with another girl, When he asked him for an explanation, he pretended not to know him, Al had been a jerk.
Some tears escaped his eyes, it was one of those movies that after watching them you are left with a feeling of satisfaction, because you loved the story. Castiel remained silent watching Dean's reactions, neither of them saying anything about it.

They decided to watch another movie, The Craft, Dean loved that movie and was surprised Castiel had never heard of it. To tell the truth, Dean was feeling quite exhausted, after the hangover and the fact that his entire body was sore because he had slept on the floor, sleep overcame him and while they were watching the movie he fell fast asleep.
Castiel tried his best to focus his attention on the movie, but found it quite difficult when Dean leaned on his shoulder; he had never been comfortable with physical contact, much less from people not so close. He didn't say anything and let him sleep, as long as he didn't bother him with his questions, he had no problem. He could handle Dean sleeping.

Twenty minutes later Dean was on his lap, sleeping peacefully, Castiel watched him a few minutes after the movie ended, he had never bothered to watch him.
Those long eyelashes, all the freckles that covered his face, his too perfect nose, his full lips, Castiel stopped his gaze there. His lips seemed quite soft, he dared to put his index finger to the corner of his lips, he caressed them for a few seconds... He moved his finger away suddenly, reconsidering, but what the hell was he doing, he was watching a boy sleep like a pervert, that It wasn't good at all.

He snuck off the couch and got out of there as fast as he could, he needed a distraction.

Dean woke up curled up on the couch, the TV was playing the title of the movie, he raised his eyebrows surprised that he had slept through the entire movie, he looked around for signs of Castiel, but he found himself completely alone. 

He was thinking of giving Charlie and Benny some cupcakes, so he stood up and spent the rest of the evening preparing them, after decorating them he went to look for them at their apartments to give them to him, they thanked him, they were at Benny's apartment, where he stayed for a few hours and at midnight he decided to return to home.

He opened the door to find himself alone again, Castiel still not showing up. Maybe now he had gone out to have fun, Dean sat on the couch and put on Friends, he chose a random episode and started watching it, he has probably lost count of how many times he has repeated the series, it was one of his favorites and he loved it .

The door to the apartment burst open and Dean was startled. He saw Castiel enter and then close the door with his leg. It sounded so loud that he had probably woken up Crowley and Samandriel. Dean looked at the screen of his cell phone, it read 1:43, he looked up and saw Castiel staggering. He walked down the hallway and closed the door to his room. Dean let out a sigh and went to bed.

The next morning he woke up unable to move, when he opened his eyes he was surprised to find Castiel next to him, he was asleep in his boxers, for a moment Dean was disoriented and thought that maybe he had gotten drunk last night, but he felt relieved when Seeing that he was wearing his pajamas, he then remembered that the man next to him had arrived quite drunk.
He always accepted that Castiel was an attractive man and seeing him so serene was satisfying, he stood up and left the room to prepare breakfast and something for Cas's hangover that he would have when he woke up.
Minutes later the door to Dean's room burst open, Castiel came out fully dressed and approached the exit of the apartment, when he opened the door he found Meg.

"Will you go running in those clothes?" Meg asked him.

"No, but I need to get out of here." Castiel was about to leave but Meg put a hand on her arm.

"But Novak, I just arrived." Meg feigned indignation, Castiel rolled his eyes and let her in, closing the door. They headed to the kitchen and found Dean cooking. "Good morning."

"Oh, good morning." Dean looked at them over his shoulder and smiled. "Will you have breakfast here?"

"No," Castiel said.

"Yes." Meg said at the same time as Castiel. "I can't wait to try something cooked by you."

Meg just wanted to watch the world burn, she seemed to enjoy the situation, the tension could be felt in the air, you could almost touch it... Dean was trying to ignore that Castiel had entered his room the night before and Castiel just wanted to get out from there.
They ate breakfast in silence, Meg dropped one or another comment towards Dean, Castiel just watched them in silence from the other side of the table.

"Aren't you hungover Cassie?" Meg asked with her typical smile, Castiel's eyes landed on hers.

"No." he lied, yesterday he had drunk more than necessary, he didn't remember even half of the night.

"I'm surprised, yesterday you were very affectionate." Meg raised her eyebrows and Castiel frowned. Dean gave a sip of his coffee and watched them out of the corner of his eye. "You drank almost the entire bar."

"Don't exaggerate," Castiel said, rolling his eyes.

"Dean." Meg directed her gaze towards the blonde, who observed her attentively. "Didn't this man cause you problems last night?"

"No..." His voice sounded higher than normal, his eyes went to Castiel, he gave him a knowing look." I didn't know when he arrived...

Meg was not satisfied with Dean's response, but she said nothing more, she continued making mocking comments to Castiel and an hour later the two left the apartment, leaving Dean alone, again.

He tidied up his room and later made a FaceTime with Sam, the two talked about their schools, friends, he told him about his reunion with Lee, about how well he would get along with Sid, they talked about everything they could.

"What about your roommate? " Sam asked, Dean cocked his head. "Your roommate, you haven't told me about him..."

"Ah, there's not much to say about him." Dean shrugged his shoulders. "His name is Castiel, he studies criminology..."

"That's great." Sam smiled. "Don't you get along?"

"Not exactly." Dean grimaced. "He's quite reserved, I've argued with him several times."

"Ha, I can imagine it." Sam mocked. "With your bad temper, I don't want to know how you drive that guy crazy."

"In my defense, he always acts defensively." Dean replied annoyed. "I try to be nice and I always get bad answers."

"And how is him?" Sam raised his eyebrows smiling.

"What?" Dean asked, Sam rolled his eyes laughing.

"Is he handsome?" Dean opened his mouth and frowned, his question had taken him by surprise. "Oh come on Dean, we all know that."

"Who knows what?"

"That you're Bi," Sam said, sounding obvious. "I don't care what you like, you're my brother, mom doesn't care either, although I'm not sure about dad..."

"Thank you?" Dean was a little surprised, he had never talked about his sexuality with his family as such, which is why his brother's question had taken him by surprise.

"So, is he?" Sam asked, smiling.

"Well..." Dean thought about Castiel for a few seconds, about those beautiful blue eyes... he shook his head and looked at his computer screen. "I'm not going to talk about that with you."

"Oh come on Dean," Sam pleaded. "I'm old enough to talk to you about this."

"It's strange..." Dean looked at his younger brother making a face and let out a sigh. "He is, he's quite handsome..." Dean nodded thinking about Castiel. "But something would never happen between us for many, many reasons."

"You live together, that would be awkward." Sam nodded, but what his younger brother didn't know was that it went beyond that, Castiel would never notice him, not only because he was a boy, but because of the way he acted. I looked at him, like a kind of irritation.
That had discouraged Dean a little, he had never been bothered by not liking people, but he lived with Castiel, that made the situation somewhat difficult.

Castiel arrived at the apartment after ten at night, Dean was on the couch watching a movie, he looked towards the door where Castiel was standing, he only looked at him for a few seconds and walked away down the hallway.
Dean fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie that he had randomly put on, some footsteps woke him up, when he opened his eyes there didn't seem to be anyone around, but noises could be heard from the kitchen that forced him to get up and go investigate. 
He found Castiel with his back to him, searching through all the drawers and doors, Dean leaned against the door frame and watched him for a few seconds, he had no idea what time it was, but there seemed to be quite a bit of silence in the room. building, cleared his throat, and got Castiel to stop and look over his shoulder in his direction.

"Do you need something?" He asked him with some sarcasm.

"No." Dean answered, he crossed his arms."Do you need anything?"

"It's none of your business," Castiel said and continued searching through the drawers.

"Hey, I just want to help." Dean shrugged his shoulders, Castiel didn't answer anything, he seemed to have ignored him because he didn't stop searching.

When he was ready to leave Castiel stopped and cursed under his breath, he tried to approach the nearest chair but almost tripped, Dean ran to support him to help him take a seat, he watched him for a few seconds in the chair, but Castiel avoided his gaze.

"What were you looking for?" Dean asked, trying to meet the other's eyes.

"Nothing," Castiel said, looking away further, Dean rolled his eyes.

"Could you stop being an idiot for a moment?" Dean said, that man was driving him crazy. Castiel kept his brow furrowed and his eyes closed, his head was down, his breathing was labored as was his voice. "I'm trying to help you."

"I need the blue bottle of pills..." Castiel said in a whisper, Dean stood up quickly and went to all the drawers to find the bottle after three searches.

He poured him some water in a glass and handed him the pills. With difficulty, Castiel took the bottle and put two pills in, then he swallowed them with the glass of water, making a grimace. Dean watched him in silence, he was worried about what was happening to the other, but it seemed to him that it was not the first time that Castiel had suffered a similar incident.

"Come on, I'll help you get to your room..." Dean said, touching him on the shoulder. Castiel opened his eyes and looked at Dean for a few seconds. He had an expression that Dean didn't know how to define, but he didn't say anything and let Dean tell him. will guide you to your room.
As best he could, he laid him down on the bed and turned around to get out of there, Castiel's hand on his stopped him, Dean turned around and looked at him.

"Thank you," Castiel said in a whisper, Dean smiled.

"How do you say?" Dean asked, Castiel clenched his jaw.

"Don't end my gratitude, Winchester," Castiel said, more than a threat, it had sounded like a joke. Dean caressed the palm of the man's hand and left his room.

The next morning he was surprised to see Castiel having breakfast at the same time as him, the two were at the table eating different things but remained silent.
Dean was sneaking glances at Castiel but the other didn't seem to notice. He could stare at him the whole hour and Castiel wouldn't notice, he began to stare at him, seeing every detail of his face, he could notice that his beard was beginning to grow, it looked quite good on him, it made him look maybe sexier or something like that. ..

"Stop staring at me," Castiel said as he looked at the screen of his cell phone. "I'm trying to eat breakfast."

Dean blushed and looked away, he pursed his lips and tried to focus on his breakfast, he thought about looking at Castiel one last time, when he looked up he could catch Castiel staring at him, he immediately looked away and Dean smiled.

Chapter Text

Friday flew in, Dean was exhausted from exams, but Lee and Sid forced him to attend a party. It didn't bother him, he didn't have the same energy as he did other times but he always liked to go out and have fun.

He took a small sip of his beer as he talked to Sid, she had become a very close friend, they had a lot in common and she used to remind him of Sam. While they were talking in the distance he saw Meg and surprisingly Castiel was there, he could notice that Meg was laughing while Castiel was saying something to her.

"Dean?" Sid said, capturing her attention, Dean watched her for a few seconds and Sid looked over her shoulder towards the direction where the blonde kept looking. "Do you know him?"

"He's my roommate," Dean said with a frown, Meg exchanged glances with him and greeted him from afar.

"Huh, I thought he would be more of a Sheldon Cooper type." Sid smiled and Dean laughed. He had told him all the rules they had at home, Sid had made fun of him by calling him Sheldon, and Dean thought he was funny. They were just as strict and sometimes he thought that his sexuality was just as null as Sheldon's but he wasn't sure that Castiel was that nerdy.  "He's quite attractive."

"I can't deny that." Dean shrugged.

An hour later Lee and Sid disappeared, Dean didn't want to be bad so he didn't mind being alone, he took a seat on a couch away from the noise, he watched all the students dancing and laughing, they all seemed oblivious to anything other than music and drink. Suddenly someone touched his right shoulder, drawing his attention, he met Meg and Castiel, Dean smiled at them, Meg approached and spoke in his ear.

"Could you take care of Clarence for me for a few minutes?" Meg asked. "I need to go look for my idiot boyfriend."

Dean nodded and Meg took Castiel's hand to drag him to take a seat next to Dean on the couch. Meg approached Cas' ear and said something to him, then got lost among the people. Castiel watched him for a few seconds and smiled when he recognized him. , Dean raised his eyebrows, he had never been able to see Castiel smile, he looked quite cute.

"Dean! " Castiel said, he was definitely drunk. "How are you, having a good time?"

"I'm good." Dean nodded. "What about you Cas?"

"Cas..." Castiel repeated, nodding. "I like it, you should always call me that."

"I'll do it if you want." Dean shrugged, Castiel couldn't stop smiling.

"Dean, I have to be honest with you," Castiel said, approaching Dean. "I like you and sometimes I hate you for that." Dean laughed.

"I might like you if you didn't avoid me so much," Dean answered.

"Maybe." Castiel leaned against the back of the sofa. "But I don't want to boost your ego."

"Is your friendship a privilege?" Dean asked, smiling.

"It is." Castiel nodded, suddenly sat back in his seat and looked at Dean. "Do you remember that time you found me in the shower?" Castiel chuckled, Dean nodded. "I heard you that night." ..

"How do you say?" Dean asked, Castiel moved closer.

"I heard what you did in the shower." He told him almost in a whisper, he bit his lip and smiled, Dean blushed and met his eyes. "I liked what I heard...

"I uhm..." Dean cleared his throat, Castiel placed a hand on his thigh and chuckled.

"I love that you're loud..." Dean bit his lower lip and watched Castiel, he didn't have a hint of mockery in what he said. "You have something that attracts me, Winchester..."

"Cas, maybe we shouldn't talk about that." Dean tried to walk away. "Or we just shouldn't talk, you know, we're very good at that."

"Are you ashamed to know that I heard you?" Castiel smiled, biting his lower lip. Dean cleared his throat.

"No, we just shouldn't talk about that..." Dean shifted in his place.

"I want cake." Castiel suddenly said trying to sit up, Dean watched him with a frown trying not to laugh. "Angel cake..."

"Where do we get angel food cake at 2 in the morning?" Dean smiled, Castiel grimaced.

"You know how to do it..."

"I'm not going to prepare cake at this time."

"Oh come on, I've had a shit week." Castiel pouted, Dean remained surprised at Castiel's behavior, he was someone totally different.

"What am I going to get in exchange?"

"Whatever you want..." Castiel smiled.

"Whatever I want? " Dean raised his eyebrows, Castiel nodded, he slowly approached Castiel. "I want my friends to come into the apartment whenever I want..."

"Granted." Castiel nodded and Dean walked away satisfied.

He stood up and took Castiel's hand to guide him out of the party, no one would miss them if they left. As best he could, he guided him to the apartment, he could barely walk, and he greeted all the people who passed by and sometimes sang a fragment of any song. Upon arriving at the apartment they headed to the kitchen, where Castiel watched Dean prepare the cake while he babbled nonsense about pigeons.

"I mean, did you imagine what if they couldn't move their necks?" Dean remained excited while listening to him in silence. "They couldn't walk!"

"Why did you come to that conclusion?"

"The other time I was watching them in the park..." Castiel frowned. "My sister Hannah took an hour to arrive, so I decided to analyze them."

Dean didn't know that Castiel had a sister, maybe he had more, he really didn't know, since he never said anything about his life.

It was almost five thirty when they were on the living room carpet eating cake, Castiel ate in silence, Dean could tell by his eyes that he was already getting tired. Twenty minutes later he helped him to the bed, he headed to his room where he too fell completely asleep.

The next day Dean woke up shortly before noon, everything was silent, he assumed that Castiel was not there or maybe he was still asleep, he took a shower and had cereal for breakfast, he decided to invite Sid, maybe they could move forward on the teacher's project Miller. An hour later they were sitting on the couch organizing themselves about what the schedule of activities for the project would be like. He was trying his best to read the instructions on the sheet he was holding, but his mind kept repeating drunken Castiel.

Dean tried to concentrate on the project, but he couldn't get rid of the memories of yesterday's party. He tried hard to pay attention to the words that came out of Sydney's mouth, but they were only a distant echo.

"Do you remember that time you found me in the shower? " Castiel laughed softly. "That night I heard you..."

"Dean..." Sid snapped her fingers in front of Dean's face, he shook his head and looked at her. "Are you okay?"

"I heard what you did in the shower." He told her almost in a whisper, he bit his lip and smiled. "I liked what I heard..."

"Yeah." He nodded quickly. "I think so."

"I notice you're very distracted, is something wrong?" Dean met Sid's eyes for the first time all day, he was frowning, his lips were pursed, and his eyes looked worried.

"Nonsense." Dean shrugged.

"I love that you're loud..." Castiel watched him intently. "You have something that attracts me, Winchester..."

"Do you want to talk about that?" Sid asked, settling into her seat.

"How are you doing with Lee?" Dean avoided the topic and Sydney nodded.

"Well... I feel like there's something between us." Sydney smiled. "I like him as a friend and I'm afraid of losing him, but I feel like maybe Lee feels something too..."

"And why don't you find out?" Dean asked, smiling. His friends were just fooling around, they knew they liked each other but no one seemed to want to throw the first stone.

"I like him a lot and I don't want him to reject me." Sid looked down and moved a strand of hair behind his ear. "Or worse yet, to use me."

"Lee would be incapable of using you Sid." Dean moved closer to her. "You are very special to him."

"Lee is just a womanizer." Sydney shrugged. "I can't expect much from him."

"You should try it..." Dean smiled at him without showing his teeth.

They didn't talk about it anymore and continued planning their project for Miller's class. Two hours later they were sitting in the dining room, they took a short break eating pizza that turned into a long conversation about life.

"How was your time yesterday?" Sid asked, the flashbacks of the previous night returning to Dean's mind, he cleared his throat.

"Good." Dean grimaced and shifted in his seat. "I was just a little tired and decided to come back earlier."

"They told me you left the party with a guy." He nudged Dean and smiled.

"It was Castiel." He shifted again in the seat. "He was quite drunk and could barely walk."

"And did something happen between you?"

"No, of course not." Dean leaned back in the seat. "Him and me? Together? Never."

"Never say never, Winchester." Sid laughed and Dean felt a burning sensation in his cheeks.

Suddenly Castiel appeared in the kitchen, he seemed to have showered and was wearing a white shirt and ripped jeans, Sid and Dean watched him in silence and exchanged glances. Through gestures Sid told him to talk to him, but Dean still felt a little uncomfortable to do so.

"Cas..." Dean cleared his throat. "Castiel?"

"Yes?" The blue-eyed man said, turning his back to him.

"Do you want pizza?" Sid and Dean exchanged looks again. "Or join us at the table?"

"Okay." Castiel turned around with a cup of coffee and took a seat, he looked at Sid who didn't know whether to speak or stay quiet."Excuse Dean's manners, it seems he doesn't know how to introduce his friends... I'm Castiel." He smiled at her.

"Sidney." The girl smiled and exchanged glances with Dean.

"Do you study with Dean?" he took a sip of his coffee while he watched Sid carefully.

"Yes, we are in quite a few classes together." The girl nodded. "What do you study?"

"Criminology."

Suddenly Dean began to feel left out, Castiel seemed very interested in Sydney and no matter how much she tried to include Dean, Castiel didn't even look at him when he spoke. He suddenly caught himself feeling jealous, just watching him joke with his friend and smiled attentively, Castiel exchanged glances with him and stopped the conversation.

"I'm leaving, I think I'm distracting you from Dean." He stood up and took his cup.

"It was nice meeting you," Sid said smiling, Castiel walked to the kitchen door and turned on his heel.

"It was nice meeting you too, Sidney." Castiel smiled at him again and Dean rolled his eyes involuntarily. Castiel left the kitchen but quickly returned. "And just so you know... Dean doesn't have a chance with me." He winked. And he left the room.

Dean let out a sigh and looked at Sid. Was Castiel hitting on his friend? Right under his nose? Then Sid cleared his throat and tried to meet Dean's gaze, but he seemed to refuse to meet her eyes.

"He's too honest." The girl shifted uncomfortably in her place.

"It's Castiel." Dean shrugged, looking at the door through which his partner had disappeared.

Castiel seemed to play the silent treatment with Dean, because he no longer even looked at him when he passed by him or when he entered a room. It caused Dean frustration to be ignored so blatantly. At that party he had flirted with him, he even flirted with him. He had hinted at him and now, he seemed to even notice his existence, the days passed and nothing changed.
On Wednesday morning, he met the boy who once accompanied him home, that night had been quite fun, because they ended up sleeping on the carpet, his name was Dave, he had blue eyes, a charming smile and black hair. He asked him out on Saturday, Dean happily accepted, since he had had a lot of fun with him. After class on Friday, Sydney invited Dean to lunch, so they headed to his apartment, which was not far from his. They talked about classes, Lee, Dean's date and then the topic of Castiel came up.

"He's been ignoring me all week." Dean took a sip of his soda.

"Did you fight?" Sydney was on her back preparing her favorite pasta, Dean had insisted on helping but she had refused.

"No, but I think he's trying to avoid talking about the party." Dean grimaced, he didn't know how true that was, maybe Castiel didn't remember anything.

"What exactly happened? " Sid turned on her heel and crossed her arms. "If I can know..."

"Oh, he was drunk." Dean cleared his throat. "He said a lot of nonsense... then he asked me to take him home and make him a cake."

"Cake?" Sid raised his eyebrows and tried not to smile.

"Yes." Dean nodded. "He's a fan of angel food cake."

"Did you prepare it for him?" Dean nodded. "That's adorable."

"Yes, it would be if it wasn't bipolar." Sid grimaced and preferred to change the subject, since he noticed Dean a little uncomfortable.

On Saturday morning Dean woke up excited, it had been a long time since he had a "date" with someone. As usual he prepared breakfast and Castiel didn't show up, everything indicated that he had left very early, he decided not to take it into account. Later, he left the apartment on his way to meet Dave. He felt a little nervous, because despite appearing to be someone confident, he felt the opposite. He was afraid that he would arrive at the restaurant and that Dave would never show up.
As usual, he arrived 5 minutes early, he fidgeted nervously with his hands as he watched people pass by him. At 6 o'clock Dave appeared, stunning and with a smile, Dean returned it and they greeted each other and then entered the restaurant.

The conversation seemed to never end; if Dave didn't ask him questions, he would tell some anecdote about his career. He was definitely a charming guy, there seemed to be a chemistry between the two of them every time they looked into each other's eyes and smiled, after all it had been a great idea to go out with him that night. It was all he needed after a frustrating week he had.

They were out having fun all night, then Dave walked him to his apartment, where he said goodbye to go home, when Dean asked if he would stay, Dave smiled and refused.

"Not on the first date."

And he was right, maybe it was worth getting to know each other better.

Chapter Text

On Sunday morning he got up a little later than usual, he was happy about the night before, Dave was a great guy, maybe that was all he needed for now, someone to go out with. As he headed to the kitchen, he heard knocking on the door, Dean frowned, because Castiel had a key, Charlie was out of town and Benny didn't wake up until noon. He walked to the door and opened it meeting Meg.

"Is this how you receive your guests?" Meg pointed out his pajamas, she was leaning against the door frame with that always mocking smile, he didn't understand what was wrong with what he was wearing, which consisted of pajama pants. black.

"I wasn't expecting views." Dean crossed his arms, wanting to cover his chest from that girl's gaze. "Come on in."

Dean made way for Meg and closed the door behind him,

"Is Castiel there?" The girl sat on the couch.

"No." he walked to her room. "I'll go put something on."

"Don't bother." Meg smiled at him, winking at him, and Dean shook his head. He entered his room, taking the baseball sweatshirt that his father had given him a few years ago. "I'll wait for Castiel if you don't mind, pretty boy."

"Okay, but I don't know when he'll be back." Dean shrugged. "Do you want breakfast?"

"Have you cooked?" Meg raised her eyebrows, Dean nodded. "Let's have breakfast then."

Meg took a seat in the kitchen and watched Dean cook, she considered that this was her opportunity to find out more about him, because since Castiel had mentioned him that time in the laboratory, she was dying of curiosity to meet him. Castiel didn't say it, but Meg could swear that her friend was attracted to that boy.

"Where do you say you're from?" Meg rested her jaw on her hand.

"Kansas," Dean said with his back to her. "You?"

"California." Dean turned on her heel and handed her a cup of coffee.

"And Castiel?" Meg raised her eyebrows. "What? I just want to know a little about him..."

"Don't you know who you live with?"

"It's not my fault I'm so reserved!"

"And that you say it..." Dean turned on his heel and took flour to prepare baffles. "Castiel doesn't belong anywhere..."

"What do you mean?"

"He and his brothers traveled all the time." Meg shrugged. "Do you have brothers?"

"Yes, a little brother." Dean smiled remembering Sam.

"Do you have a girlfriend, boyfriend or something?" Meg asked, Dean smiled thinking about Dave, he wasn't her boyfriend but he knew there was something special there.

"No, I don't know." Dean looked over her shoulder. "It's too soon."

"Wow, what's his name?"

"Dave." Dean smiled pronouncing his name. "The truth is that he is an incredible boy."

"I can tell." Meg nodded when she saw the emotion with which the blonde spoke about that boy.

They stayed silent until Dean finished making waffles, then he took a seat across from Meg.

"Has Castiel always been like this?" Dean asked after taking a sip of his coffee.

"Honey, how long do you think I've known him?"

"I don't know... it's just that you guys seem very close."

"I've known him for two years." Meg crossed her arms. "It's not easy to get close to him."

"But why?"

"He has been through many things, which I cannot tell you because I do not know them or it is private."

"I understand." Dean nodded.

"But you should give it a chance." Meg smiled at him. "I know they have had their differences, but they would get along well."

"I highly doubt Castiel wants me around."

"Oh..." Meg laughed. "He might surprise you."

"What do you mean...?"

They heard the apartment door open, they exchanged glances and watched Castiel through the kitchen door. He was carrying many bags of groceries while he was talking on the phone.

"I'll go next Friday..." Castiel walked towards the kitchen. "As if you cared..."

"Coffee?" Dean asked, pointing to his cup, Cas nodded.

"Michael... I'm not going to discuss it again." Dean handed Castiel a cup and he took a seat. "See you later."

"How's Cassie?" Meg asked once she finished the call.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can't I visit my best friend?"

"Could you let me know..." Dean just watched them in silence, Castiel looked tired and he believed that the last thing he needed was to annoy him.

Dean went to his room where he did some homework, he called Sam to catch up and hours later Meg left saying goodbye to Dean and asking him to take care of Castiel, since he had had a pretty difficult day. While Dean was typing on his computer there was a knock on his bedroom door.

"Do you want to..." Castiel cleared his throat "watch a movie?"

"Okay." Dean shrugged, Cas nodded and left the room,

Castiel chose the movie after a long discussion about who should choose what to watch, each of them was at one end of the couch, while Dean was sitting on the rug, Castiel leaned on the small coffee table, where he had a glass of wine. Sometimes Dean watched Castiel out of the corner of his eye, he looked worn out, maybe even stressed, it seemed like he was struggling to pay attention to the movie.

Twenty minutes later he was completely asleep, the movie lost all of Dean's interest, who dedicated himself to analyzing the older man asleep on the couch, took a seat next to him and took the cell phone that was about to fall from his left hand, at that moment it vibrated and a message from Balthazar appeared on the screen.

"I can't wait to meet him"

Dean frowned and felt bad for reading private messages, so he left the phone on the coffee table and leaned against the back of the couch, falling into a deep sleep. He woke up the next morning a little sore, he was lying on the couch with a light blanket over him that frankly smelled delicious and a pillow on the back of his neck.
Castiel walked past him into the kitchen and then back into his room. It was Monday morning and he had to hurry before he was late, as best he could he stood up and walked to his room, on the way he met Castiel.

"Oh, I was just about to wake you up." He smelled of exquisite cologne and he was wearing a black suit. He hadn't put on his tie yet, so his buttons weren't on. From there he could see his collarbone and his firm chest. Dean felt himself lighten. melted

"Thank you for covering me." Dean handed the blanket to Castiel.

"Keep it."

"Have I contaminated it?" Dean asked mockingly.

"Probably..." Castiel raised his eyebrows and walked down the hallway.

Dean sniffed her once more and closed his eyes, she smelled like Castiel.

Saturday was a quiet day, after the busy week at university, Dean was sitting on the rug texting with Lee and Sid. Castiel was on the couch watching a movie while he drank wine. After a few minutes Dean put down his cell phone and paid attention to the movie trying to figure out what it was about.

"Do you want... some?" Castiel asked, showing the bottle to Dean.

"Sure," Dean shrugged and before he could stand up to go get a drink, Castiel was already doing so, he handed him the crystal glass and once Dean held it, Castiel poured the liquid into it. "Thank you..."

Castiel took a seat on the couch and they continued watching the movie that he had not long started. They remained in silence drinking, by the time the movie ended they were already on the third bottle of wine. Castiel thought another bottle would be nice but when he tried to stand up it was almost impossible.

Dean began to laugh as the black-haired man struggled to get up without any success. Castiel stared at him and started laughing, he probably looked really stupid. For several minutes their laughter echoed on the walls of the apartment, Dean crawled to Castiel as best he could and settled next to him, he leaned his back on the base of the couch and his head on the seat, he watched the ceiling for a few seconds, everything began. Castiel, for his part, leaned one elbow on the seat of the sofa, placing his chin on his right hand.

"Dean..." Castiel spoke, the blonde only made a sound in response. "Do you believe in... what they say about me?"

"I don't know..." Dean shrugged. "Although sometimes I think you're an idiot... quite a-attract..." Dean stammered trying to pronounce the word correctly. "Like be said."

"I think that too."

"From you or from me?"

"Yeah."

Dean lifted his head to meet the cold blue of that gaze. Everything was starting to spin but he didn't have enough strength to stand up. He leaned on his knees and tried to push himself to his feet, managing to fall on top of Castiel.

Castiel placed his hands on Dean's cheeks and without thinking twice he kissed him, Dean without being able to do much kept up with him but seconds later he broke the kiss and took the bowl where there was popcorn before to proceed to vomit, he had gotten too dizzy. If Dean was sober, he would be embarrassed and if Castiel was sober he would get up and walk away immediately without saying anything.

But instead Dean lunged at Castiel and they began to kiss desperately.

Dean woke up feeling sore, his head was killing him and he had had a rather strange dream that made him feel something in his stomach. He couldn't remember anything from the day before.
He took his cell phone that was on the nightstand, the screen showed noon, Dean groaned as he sat up in bed, he had wasted all morning and it was Sunday. He heard no noise outside his room, which made him think that he was once again alone.

After washing his face and teeth, he headed to the kitchen to make some coffee, there he found Castiel sitting typing on his computer.

"Do you ever rest?" Dean asked out loud, grabbed a cup and started to look for the coffee maker.

"I don't think so," Castiel answered to Dean's surprise. "I made coffee."

Dean looked at the coffee pot on the table, took a seat and poured himself some, watching Castiel for a few seconds before tasting the coffee.

"It's safe to take it." Castiel watched him for a few seconds and pointed to his cup. "I'm drinking it too."

"Still..." Dean looked at the contents of the cup and drank a little, raising his eyebrows looking at Castiel. "This coffee is good..."

"I'm not a chef here, but I know what good coffee is." Dean frowned for a few seconds, maybe this was a dream, Castiel didn't prepare anything... he wouldn't even invite him and he used too many words in his sentences. ... "Now what do you see me?"

"Nothing..." Dean said looking at his coffee again. But this was not a dream, it was too long. Maybe he was in a coma or something like that and so he dreamed for a long time. That distressed Dean so he forgot about it for a few hours.

At night he remembered a little about Saturday, it had been a movie marathon apparently. His dream caused him a lot of conflict, Castiel had kissed him and honestly, Dean didn't want those thoughts about his roommate.

Although they had a more fluid conversation than normal, the atmosphere was still tense and Dean had been avoiding Castiel as much as he could, every night he dreamed about the same thing, as if they were fragments that seemed to have a little bit of meaning every time they came together. of sense but that only made him feel a little uncomfortable with Castiel, he had probably understood Dean's message to keep his distance, since he had also started to distance himself, they had not had eye contact again in the last two weeks.

Dave had helped him de-stress a little from all that stuff, they went out more often and talked whenever they could, Dean definitely felt in love. One Sunday night they accidentally crossed paths in the hallway, Dean looked down and Castiel looked away.

"Uh, sorry," Dean said without looking up. Castiel didn't say anything, he just turned away and continued on his way to the living room. "We ignored each other again, huh?"

"What do you want to hear?" Castiel said without even looking at him. "Oh, I'm sorry too"?

 "don't worry, would be enough." Dean remained motionless with his arms crossed.

Castiel shook his head and while he muttered something he fell onto the couch. Dean frowned.

"What did you say?" Dean asked, challenging him, Castiel looked up.

"I said stop being an idiot." This wouldn't end well for anyone.

"Now I'm the idiot?" Dean smiled ironically. "I think you need a mirror."

"Maybe it wouldn't be like that..." Castiel stood up and started walking towards Dean. "If you'd stop being so nosy."

"Castiel, you live with me!" Dean raised his voice. "It's obvious that I need to know about you."

"The only thing you need to know about me is that I live here." The two met face to face again.

"Do you think that's enough for me? You can know about me but I can't know about you?"

"You don't need to investigate to know that you continue acting like a capricious teenager who only seeks attention."

"You weren't thinking that that Saturday..." Dean tried to meet Castiel's gaze.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh right?" Dean raised his eyebrows.  "Shall I refresh your memory?"

It took Dean a while to realize, after several days and with Sid's help he knew that it hadn't been a dream, rather it was a memory. Castiel pushed him against the wall, Dean thought he was going to hit him for challenging him but Castiel approached him and took his face in his hands and then crashed his lips against Dean's.

.

Chapter Text

The weekends became a routine for Dean and Castiel, they watched movies together after dinner, it seemed that things would get worse after that kiss but in reality they became something like friends, Castiel was still a little reserved about his life but he talked about anything with Dean and that kept a pleasant atmosphere.

After all, Castiel wasn't an idiot as many made him out to be, they started going out shopping together and even went to college together. The last month had helped them become closer, although Castiel became a little distant when Dave was home or out with him, it didn't surprise Dean, as he thought he just didn't like him.
One afternoon Dean was watching a documentary about UFO conspiracy theories, Castiel was organizing his room like every week, that man had serious OCD, Dean thought, a few minutes later he left his room and went to the kitchen, Dean watched him out of the corner of his eye he was wearing shorts, a tank top, showing his marked arms.

"I'm going to take a shower and then we'll have dinner," Castiel spoke coming out of the kitchen.

"I was also thinking of taking a shower." Dean met his gaze. "Maybe we should do it together, that way we can save water."

"You wish, Winchester." Castiel smiled at him and went to the bathroom, they had gotten into the habit of joking with each other like that.

"I know you want me," Dean shouted, listening to Castiel's sarcastic laugh as the door closed.

Dean returned to concentrating on the documentary that he lost track of time and after finishing the documentary, he went to the bathroom to take a shower, when he was about to open the door, he was surprised when the door opened, meeting Castiel with a towel around the waist.

"Winchester, you're such a pervert." Castiel smiled mockingly at him.

"No, and-I thought..." Had he gotten nervous? Dean stepped aside so Castiel could get out and when he got out he brushed his chest against Dean's.

"The bathroom is all yours," he said and then walked away to his room, leaving Dean static, he just watched him walk until he disappeared into his room. He let out a sigh and quickly went inside to take a cold shower.

Castiel invited him to an exhibition at the museum of modern art, he excused himself saying that he had had the tickets for a month and was planning to go with Meg but in the end she had canceled, Dean was glad to be in Castiel's options and accepted immediately. At dinner Dean leaned on his hand and watched Castiel in silence, then let out a sigh. The latter had not noticed it yet so he dedicated himself to watching every movement he made while typing on his cell phone while he ate dinner. Three knocks sounded on the door, the two exchanged glances.

"It's your turn." They said in unison.

"I opened it this morning." Dean shielded himself, Castiel rolled his eyes and stood up leaving the kitchen.

"Dean, your friends are here." Castiel shouted, Dean headed for the door. Benny and Charlie were there, Castiel ushered them in and closed the door behind them, then walked back into the kitchen.

"How have you been?" Charlie asked, hugging him.

"Well, I'm about to start final exams that's why I haven't been able to visit them." Dean nodded.

"Ugh I get it." Benny rolled his eyes. "They are quite stressful."

"How have you been?" Dean smiled at them.

"Same, preparing for exams," Benny said.

"In fact, we came to invite you..." Charlie took out a somewhat crumpled sheet of paper. "This Friday there will be a party at a friend's house, we thought maybe you could go..." Charlie handed him the sheet and Dean handed it to him. He watched for a few seconds.

"Yeah, maybe I'll go..." Dean shrugged.

"Great," Benny said. "Then we'll see you around, we'll leave before we make the big bad wolf angry."

Charlie laughed and Dean grimaced, trying to smile. He walked them to the door and said goodbye to them, he looked at the ad one more time and crumpled it up, walked to the kitchen and threw it into the jar.

"Wow." Castiel said behind his back. "Dean Winchester rejecting a party..."

"What do you mean?" Dean turned on his heel.

"You know... every weekend you party."

"Not since I've been dating Dave." Castiel grimaced, Dean noticed but didn't say anything.

One day, Dean and Dave were having breakfast at a small place near Dave's apartment, they weren't officially dating yet but it was almost implied.

"On Saturday there will be an incredible concert and I was hoping we could go..." Dave said taking a sip of coffee.

"Yes, that sounds good." Dean nodded absently, he was thinking about the final project he would present that week.

"Okay, so we'll meet on Saturday for the concert at your apartment or mine?"

"Whatever you want..."

"Okay, I'll pick you up."

Christmas vacation was just around the corner, that had Dean quite excited, he was finally coming home to see his family, it had been a while since Dean had been able to talk to even his younger brother, but he had started buying the Christmas gifts he knew his parents and brother would love. It wouldn't take long for panic sales and everyone would start fighting for gifts, so he decided to anticipate and research prices and stores where he could get what he wanted.

Dean and Castiel walked in silence, heading to the exhibition at MoMA. From time to time they exchanged furtive glances, waiting for someone else to start the conversation.

"Anything in particular I should know about the exhibition?"

"No." Castiel shook his head. "It's a surprise."

"Uuh I love surprises." Dean met his gaze and smiled.

Upon arriving at the museum, a deluge began to fall, Castiel and Dean exchanged glances of relief and entered the building. The exhibition was about classical art, there were easily a hundred Greek and Roman sculptures in the exhibition, Dean was not an expert in art but he enjoyed looking at the perfectly carved statues.
Unlike Dean, Castiel knew a lot about the subject, it seemed that he had a personal guide because Castiel told him in great detail the stories of the statues and their authors. Dean watched him intently talk, any question that arose to Dean, Castiel had the answer, he really seemed to like this, when they changed rooms to continue looking at the sculptures Dean watched him a few steps back, Castiel seemed fascinated with the art pieces Before his eyes, he observed them in detail.

If you had told Dean two months ago that he would be in a museum with Castiel, he would probably laugh and think it was impossible, but here he was standing in front of Castiel watching him silently.
Castiel caught him staring and Dean didn't know what to do, he stood still.

"The profiles you should appreciate are to your right." Castiel said winking at him, Dean blushed.

"You're no match for them." Dean tried to sound confident.

"I saw you quite amazed." Castiel smiled at him and continued walking. Dean shook his head and walked behind Cas.

"That was an incredible exhibition," Dean said as they left the museum.

"Do you want... a coffee?" Dean looked up and observed him. "It just rained and it's cold..."

"It's okay, it's just strange that you invite me for coffee." Dean continued walking.

"I invited you to the museum, I don't think a coffee is so strange."

Dean followed Castiel to a small place a few streets from Central Park, after ordering two coffees they continued walking in silence until they reached Central Park, they couldn't take a seat anywhere, since the rain had wet all the benches and steps. They were just walking while drinking some coffee, the sky was completely dark, it was eight o'clock and the cold was getting colder.

"I've never been here," Dean commented, looking at the trees.

"Have you never been to one of the most famous places in New York?"

"I hadn't had much time to go out to see the city."

"Is this your first time coming to New York?"

"Yes, I had never left Kansas." Dean shrugged his shoulders. "Do you know many states?"

"Yes," he said sharply, Dean thought his question had ruined everything. "I know maybe half the country."

"Wow, you've traveled a lot then." Dean smiled in wonder.

"It was more than anything out of necessity." Castiel nodded, lowering his gaze.

"Can I ask you a question and you promise not to get angry?" Dean searched his gaze again.

"I can't promise anything." Castiel tried not to smile.

"Why are you always so distant? You don't like me or something?"

"Dean, if I didn't like you we wouldn't be walking in Central Park after an exhibition at MoMA while drinking coffee," Castiel pointed out.

"You know what I mean..." There were a few minutes of silence that seemed eternal while Dean regretted his existence.

"It's late..." Castiel said looking at the screen of his cell phone. "We should go back to the apartment."

"It's almost ten o'clock, very early..."

"Yes, but we will have to use the subway and then walk a few blocks, it is not very safe at this time."

"Okay grandpa, let's go home."

Getting into the car Dean leaned against the door while Castiel took a seat in front of him, he closed his eyes and let out a sigh, when he opened his eyes he caught Castiel staring at him, Dean looked away and when he looked back into the blue eyes of Castiel were still on top of him. By the time they arrived at the apartment it was around half past nine, Dean was climbing the stairs of the building while he complained about how he wanted to continue exploring New York at night.

Upon entering the elevator, Castiel knew that he couldn't stand any more words coming out of Dean's mouth, so when the elevator doors closed, Castiel approached Dean and planted a kiss on him, making him finally remain silent for a few minutes. They separated when the elevator doors opened, they stared at each other for a few seconds and Dean shot out of the elevator, Castiel following a few steps behind.

"I can't believe you left me waiting." Dave said.

"Dave..." Dean frowned when he saw the boy so upset.

"Have fun with him and don't look for me." Dave slammed the tickets into Dean's chest and walked away down the hallway annoyed. Dean watched him walk away annoyed, giving Castiel a dirty look.

"I'm an idiot..." Dean closed his eyes and shook his head. Castiel took the tickets and looked at them. "Today was the concert and I forgot."

"Yes, you are..." Dean glared at him. "They have good music." He shrugged.

Sunday was a rainy day, causing Dean to become even more depressed. He had to fix things with Dave, assure him that there was nothing between him and Castiel, apologize and accept that he was a first-class asshole. But was there really nothing between them?

As far as Dean knew they were just roommates who maybe had just started a friendship. But the blonde knew that Dave wouldn't believe that, not even he believed it. He stared at the carpet, as if he were looking for the answer among all that padded surface that caressed his bare feet. Maybe he needed a second opinion, someone to see things from the outside.

There was a two-knock on the door, Dean stood up and found himself face to face with Castiel who also had the intention of opening the door.

"It's my turn," Castiel said.

"Oh yeah? I can open it if you don't mind..."

"I came here, I'll open it." Dean raised his hands in surrender and Castiel opened the door. "Sydney, come in."

His friend appeared through the door frame, smiling at them. Half an hour ago he had called her asking for help and apparently she was there to rescue him.

"Cas, it's nice to see you, how are you?"

"Surviving the final exams." Cas shrugged his shoulders. "I'll let you talk."

When Castiel disappeared from the room Sid watched Dean waiting for him to say something.

"Well... What is the emergency?"

The two walked to the couch and sat down.

"Dave... he's mad at me," Dean said in a whisper.

"Oh but it can't be that bad, talk to him."

"I forgot we had a date, he waited me fot two hours" Dean cleared his throat and in a whisper continued. "And he saw me kissing Cas..."

"How?!" Sydney raised her voice in surprise. "Again?"

"Could you lower your voice?" Dean told him, trying not to laugh. "Unless you think it's a good idea to include him in our conversation."

"I'm sorry," he lowered his voice. "It's just that you two are moving too fast."

"It's a strange thing... Castiel does it out of nowhere."

"So it has happened several times?"

"Only three."

"Well, you have to be honest with Dave, tell him that you forgot your date with him because you had a disaster in your mind and that you didn't kiss him..."

"It's not that..."

"I don't think we're on the same page, what's the problem?" Sid cocked his head and Dean looked away.

"Dave seems like the boyfriend I always wanted but..."

"You like Castiel."

"Maybe, I don't know yet..."

"And does Cas like you? I think yes."

"I don't know either, maybe I should forget that."

"Or maybe you should find out if he likes you..."

"How do I do that? I can't ask him..."

"Sid, will you stay to eat? " The two looked at Castiel excitedly. "What are you hiding?"

"Hmm yes, I'll stay to eat." Sid nodded.

"Don't you have things to do?"

"What a subtle way to throw me out of the room, Dean." Castiel turned around and walked away.

"You could copy their attitudes."

"Be an ogre?"

"No, I mean flirting with him and kissing him, genius."

"That's a good idea too, what about Dave?"

"First resolve your conflict with Cas and then we will think about Dave."

"Wow Sid, you're like my conscience." Dean smiled at him. "My Jiminy Cricket."

"That's how friends are, right?"

After a few hours of eating, Sid said goodbye and Dean dedicated himself to thinking about his friend's words, maybe Castiel's thing was just lust.

Maybe he wanted him, but he wouldn't boost Castiel's ego.

Chapter Text

Today had been the last day of school, everyone was excited about the winter holidays and celebrating them with their family, there was exactly one week left until Christmas. Ash had invited him to a party to celebrate the end of final exams but Dean knew how to pack and try to get a cheap plane ticket to Kansas, he knew that he should fly at dawn, because at that time the flights were cheaper but it seemed that the luck was not on Dean's side, he couldn't find a trip to Kansas for 1 week.

He spent the entire afternoon at home watching movies while trying to find an available flight. Castiel was next to him reading.

"Do you have plans for Christmas?" Dean asked, he believed that they already had a certain trust with each other, but the truth was that Castiel was only telling him what he wanted Dean to know.

"No, I'll stay here." Castiel didn't look up.

"Will you be alone at Christmas?"

"It is a simple date that people use as an excuse to get together as a family and be hypocritical."

"Oh, you never celebrated Christmas?"

"No." He answered dryly. "Dean, I would appreciate it if you let me read."

"I'm sorry," Dean said, looking at him, no one deserved to be alone at Christmas, that seemed very sad to him but he remembered that it was Cas, he is usually strange.

"You're lovely," Castiel said, looking into his eyes for a few seconds, Dean felt butterflies in his stomach with those words.

A few days later he managed to get a flight to Kansas for 3 in the morning, it was too early but he was excited to visit his family.

He looked for gifts for his family, they had a game at Christmas that consisted of wrapping gifts in different sized packages, a pair of socks in a huge box or a shirt in a small paper bag, he did it to confuse others, so they choose gifts and at midnight they opened the gifts that each person chose, then they gave them to the correct person, it was quite fun to fight with the others to keep a gift, since the one who had the most gifts in their possession received a prize, from somewhere trophy, discounts in a store or breakfast at your favorite restaurant.

Dean considered himself completely competitive and was always looking to beat Sam, who also tended to get competitive in family games. He couldn't wait to see his family, he had moved almost six months ago and he only had limited times to talk to his family on video calls.

There were 2 days until his flight and 3 days until Christmas, he didn't have much to pack, but the whole day he dedicated himself to putting away his clothes and arranging the gifts and then writing Christmas cards for all of his neighbors. . He knew most of them and liked them quite a bit, so he thought it was a great idea to wish them Merry Christmas before leaving, he even made a small letter for Castiel, he would give it to him just before leaving on the condition that he open it on New Year's. It took him the rest of the afternoon to write her a congratulation, none of them seemed right.

Dean crumpled up the page where he wrote and threw it in the trash can, it was his third ball of paper so far and he still couldn't figure out how to wish him happy holidays without sounding so nerdy.

I know you don't celebrate, but I want to wish you a happy winter holidays, don't be so bitter and smile more, your smile is very pret

Dean crumpled the piece of paper and tossed it once again into the basket.
After several minutes staring at the cloudy sky through his window, he picked up a piece of paper again and began to write.

Cas:

Happy winter holidays, I wish you a good start to the year, I hope that one of your resolutions is to stop being so bitter.

D.W.

Dean smiled satisfied, it wasn't so formal and ended with a joke, he put the small sheet in an envelope on which he wrote,

DO NOT OPEN BEFORE DECEMBER 31.

Before leaving for the airport, he would leave it somewhere visible to Cas. It was December 22, in 1 day he was leaving on his flight, Dean was so excited to return home, that he couldn't help but be in a good mood.

He dedicated himself to distributing the cards throughout the building, more than half of the students were no longer in town, so he just left them in their mailboxes, then he returned to his apartment and found Castiel watching the news. .

"Strong snow storms are reported in the northeast of the country, the snow storm is approaching New York and by the weekend it will be impossible to go out on the streets."

"The weekend?" Dean asked worried, because today was Thursday and his flight would leave in the early hours of Saturday.

"Uh-huh." Castiel nodded.

"I hope the news is wrong..."

"Normally snow storms are on Christmas Eve and Christmas, I don't think they are wrong."

By the time seven p.m. arrived, the authorities confirmed that the flights would be canceled as the storm had moved ahead, Dean was devastated, he would not see his family. He made a FaceTime with them the next day and told them about the cancellation, his parents were quite sad, Sam was bewildered.

"So... We won't see you until spring?" Sam asked.

"Maybe sooner, it all depends on the weather." Dean shrugged.

"We have to go Dean, your grandparents will be arriving soon."John said.

"We love you darling, we talked at Christmas." Mary said.

"I love them too." Dean grimaced.

"Go ahead." Sam said, taking the laptop. "I want to ask Dean something."

His parents nodded and said goodbye once again, they left the room. Sam made sure no one was around and smiled.

"How's it going?"

"Well, it has been a lot of stress but..."

"No genius, I'm talking about your roommate."

"What?" For a moment Dean thought he was referring to that whole weird kissing situation.

"Yes, you know." Sam rolled his eyes. "The last time we talked about him you told me that they hated each other."

"Oh, everything got better." Dean smiled nervously. "Now we're... friends."

"That's great..."

"Yes, two friends living together."

"Do you think he can visit you some weekend?"

"Of course, if mom doesn't have any problems."

"Well, I'll tell her." Sam nodded. "We'll talk later, I think the grandparents have already arrived."

"See you around, bitch." Dean smiled at him.

"See you, idiot." Sam ended the call and Dean lay down on his bed staring at the ceiling. This Christmas was going to be the worst of all.

The next day he left his room early and for the first time went for a walk, he wanted to meditate a little, the streets were somewhat empty and the cold wind burned Dean's cheeks. He decided to go get ingredients to make the carrot cake that his mother made every Christmas, maybe that would cheer him up a little.

Castiel woke up surprised not to hear a single noise in the entire apartment, maybe Dean was still asleep. He took a quick shower and decided to take out the trash, so he headed to the rooms to see if there was trash in the bins.

He knocked on Dean's door and hearing no response; He opened it without further ado. It was empty, without giving it much importance he approached the basket where he found many balls of paper, some lying on the floor.
Castiel shook his head and rolled his eyes, this man didn't seem to understand what order was. He took the paper balls to find one where his name seemed to be. He opened it knowing it wasn't his business, but it became his business with his name there.

Cas,

I wish you happy holidays, I know you don't celebrate, but I just wanted to, these months with you have been quite interesting.
I like you a lot, don't be so

Castiel raised his eyebrows, deciding to take another page and read it.

Happy holidays Cas, you are a good roommate. I send you a kiss from Kansas

Castiel smiled and heard a knock on the door. He took the last ball of paper and put it in his pants pocket. He was a little surprised by what he had found, maybe Dean had repented and wasn't going to give him a letter anymore or maybe he had written one that he wouldn't give him anymore since he would be there. Opening the door he met Dean.

"I forgot the key." The blonde smiled guiltily.

Castiel took a nap almost all day, when he woke up he noticed that it had already gotten dark. He took his cell phone and looked at the screen to see the time,

20:39
Saturday, December 24

He stood up and went to the bathroom to wash his face. When he opened the door, the smell of carrots and cinnamon invaded his nostrils. It seemed that Dean was preparing something, with cold water he wet his face and let out a sigh and headed to the kitchen, there were some Christmas lights and some Christmas arrangements, like a Santa hanging in the entrance, reindeer, snowmen and a small tree Christmas on the coffee table. Dean had his back to him, wearing a red sweater and black jeans, humming a Christmas song while stirring a ladle in a pot.

He approached slowly without making a single noise, until when he was behind the blonde he approached his ear and asked him in a whisper.

"What are you preparing?" Dean was startled when he heard Castiel in his ear when he tried to move back, his back brushed against the older man's chest.

"I-I'm preparing a small dinner." Dean looked down and tried not to sound so nervous.

"It smells good," Castiel said without moving away, he stretched out his arm brushing Dean's shoulder, he wanted to grab the punch ladle but Dean stopped him.

"Don't even think about it, I'm working." Dean told him, turning on his heel. As soon as he was facing Castiel, he could feel his breathing.

After a few seconds of staring into his eyes he lowered his head and returned to his work, turned around and tasted the punch. Castiel walked away and took a seat in the first chair he came across, he looked him up and down, those pants really made him have impure thoughts. Lately he had had this dream where he walked into the kitchen and found Dean cooking completely naked, then he fucked him against the table and then the counter.

He shifted in his seat, it wasn't a good time to think about that, he put his hands in his pockets and found the ball of paper he had kept. He debated whether he should read it now, but when Dean turned on his heel and took a seat across from him she pulled her hand out of his pocket; he would read it later.

"Do you want to have dinner with me?" Dean asked. "You don't need to celebrate anything..."

"Okay," Castiel said and Dean raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"That was too easy."

"It's not like I have anything better to do..."

Half an hour later they were sitting eating, they remained silent, from time to time Dean would make a comment about the food and Castiel would just nod in response. After eating they took the cake to the coffee table along with the punch, to make it more interesting Dean had decided to add more rum than the recipe indicated.

Evidently when I turned on the television, its programming was full of Christmas movies, even on the music channels there were Christmas songs.

"If you want we can play music or watch a movie that has nothing to do with all this."

"It doesn't matter, we can watch a movie that's about to start."

Dean began to change channels, while Castiel drank some punch in silence. Suddenly the title It's a Wonderful Life appeared on a channel, it was just beginning.

"Have you seen it?" Dean looked at Castiel, he shook his head.  "It's worth seeing, it's a classic."

"What is it about?" Castiel asked.

"Basically, what would have happened if George, the protagonist, had never been born." Castiel nodded and directed his gaze towards the screen. "Wait a minute... How do you not know what it's about if Meg calls you Clarence?"

"I don't know, she just started calling me that, I thought it was just a weird nickname she had come up with." Castiel shrugged.

Dean did his best not to cry, he had a big lump in his throat as the movie continued to progress, but when he finished watching it he couldn't help but shed some tears, Castiel handed him a tissue and Dean thanked him.

"Did you like it?" Dean asked, wiping away his tears.

"Yes, it is a good story, I thought it would be boring." Castiel nodded.

Of course the movie had moved Cas, but he preferred to keep the tears in their place, he took the dirty plates and took them to the kitchen, Dean took the glasses and followed Castiel's steps to the kitchen.

Castiel began washing the dishes while Dean organized the kitchen, returning all the ingredients he had used to his place.

"It wasn't that bad was it?" Dean asked as he continued arranging the food.

"It wasn't like I imagined." Castiel shrugged as he continued washing.

By the time Cas finished washing the dishes, Dean was standing by the doorframe, arms crossed, watching Castiel.

Castiel looked at the door and then at Dean, then he approached without saying anything and held him by the cheeks and then joined their lips. He planned to give him a short kiss but when he joined their lips he knew that he couldn't get away so quickly. The kiss became more and more needy and hungry, even Castiel took the opportunity to bite Dean's lower lip, making him let out a small moan. They moved away due to lack of oxygen and Dean was motionless.

"Why was that? " Dean said panting.

"It's already midnight, which means it's already Christmas." Castiel pointed to the clock. "And you're under a mistletoe."

Dean was quite surprised, he was speechless. It had been a few weeks since his last kiss, he even thought it wouldn't happen again.

At six in the morning everyone was already in his room, after drinking a lot of punch and talking about trivial things, they were exhausted. When Castiel was about to fall asleep his cell phone rang, he grunted, getting out of bed and answered the call.

"What do you want?" Castiel answered as he read the name of his older brother on the screen.

"Gabriel is getting worse," Michael said on the other end of the line.

Chapter Text

Dean had noticed that Castiel had been distancing himself for the last week, it was New Year's Eve.

He had noticed him more tense, there were even days when he had completely ignored his existence, Dean began to torture himself with the idea that maybe he hadn't liked his kiss, that maybe he had hated the kiss and dinner. But he tried not to get too discouraged by that, he continued with his plan to have another small dinner to celebrate the New Year, he hoped that Castiel would want to accompany him.

Castiel had gone out for a walk through the neighborhood, there were almost no people on the streets, but in a few hours everyone would be in Times Square waiting for the ball to drop. He probably had to go to the hospital, he hadn't been around for two months or more, he didn't have the courage to see his brother intubated, the last time he had been with him he had a headache that almost made him faint, Dean had to help him that time.
It was something that had been happening to him for years, ever since he had been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, which caused him unbearable headaches.

He sometimes thought that he carried too much weight on his shoulders, he felt guilty. He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, not wanting to start the bad thoughts.

He returned home before sunset a little calmer, he couldn't go to the hospital again. When he entered the apartment and found Dean singing while he cleaned it definitely made him feel better, the blonde was always willing to give a smile, it seemed as if he was happy all the time. He watched him for a few minutes, until Dean noticed his presence.

"Hey, I hadn't seen you there." Dean smiled at him and for a moment Castiel felt comforted. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," he answered, clearing his throat, he headed to his room and heard Dean call him, he stopped at his place.

"Will you have dinner with me tonight?" Castiel nodded without looking at him and headed to his room.

At 11 at night, Dean knocked on his door inviting him to dinner, a few minutes later Castiel appeared in the kitchen to find a dinner quite different from the previous one, the dishes were different and there were even candles illuminating the kitchen instead of the spotlights. Dean was wearing a sky blue short sleeve shirt with white bird prints and black jeans. Castiel thought that maybe he wasn't dressed well at the moment, since he was wearing baggy, worn jeans along with a bottle green sweatshirt.

While they were eating dinner it was Dean who was trying to keep up a conversation and Castiel was doing his best not to answer flatly. When it was almost midnight they moved to the couch to watch the countdown that was broadcast from Times Square.

5

4

3

2

1

Happy new year!

Everyone started celebrating on the television and then Castiel felt lips touch his, Dean was kissing him. The kiss followed while he took him by the waist to sit him on his lap. They continued kissing for a long time while Castiel's hands traveled along Dean's back and waist. Dean took the opportunity to caress Cas's hair while they moved their lips as if it were a fight. Dean began to move his hips, grinding more and more into each other, which made Castiel gasp but he couldn't do this, he couldn't allow himself to enjoy this with what was happening to his brother. He took all the self-control he had and pulled away from Dean, who looked bewildered.
He seriously wanted to kiss him until his lips were swollen, until the erection in his pants ached from how hard he was getting, until Dean begged him for more.

But it was no time for pleasure. He pushed Dean off of his lap and stood up without saying anything.

"What's wrong?" Asked Dean confused. "Did I do something you didn't like?"

"You shouldn't have kissed me." Castiel walked away from the couch.

"I thought that..."

"You thought it wrong." Castiel interrupted him. "Don't do it again."

"You started it... you kissed me first." Dean took courage.

"But you're not my type." Castiel shrugged and Dean felt a pang in his chest, he liked Castiel and it's not like he was fantasizing but the last few days had been... different.

He walked away down the hallway quite upset, leaving Dean on the couch, who felt terrible about his words. He was totally sorry. Castiel closed the door behind him and looked at his pants, he was already hard. He growled in annoyance, he knew he had to put an end to that problem or else he would be uncomfortable all night.
He took a seat in the small chair he had next to the desk and looked at the small ball of paper he had gotten from Dean's room a week ago. He unfolded the page and began to read, this letter was different from the others, it was rounder and almost cursive.

Cas

I wish you happy holidays, we have had our differences since we met but I really like you, you are not so bad as everyone says.
I can say that I have grown fond of you and I would dare to say that you drive me crazy.
You are indecipherable, sometimes you hate me and other times you kiss me. You always manage to surprise me. I wish you were more open, I'm sure we would be great friends.

PS: Man, stop being so perfect sometime, you're too much for me.

Lots of kisses and some hugs.

Dean.

Castiel was speechless, he couldn't believe what his roommate had written to him and from what he saw he wasn't going to give her that letter. What Castiel hadn't understood was that Dean had written that letter to vent, so that he could somehow say what Castiel made him feel. The blonde had instantly regretted that letter so he decided to get rid of it. Castiel folded the sheet into four parts and put it in his small nightstand drawer.
He now had to lower his erection and he felt like a son of a bitch. He definitely didn't deserve Dean's good treatment. He didn't understand why he said the opposite of what he felt, did the opposite of what he thought, he hated himself for that. He promised himself to stay away from Dean after that first kiss but he couldn't do it.

He grabbed the small night lamp and slammed it on the floor in annoyance, he hated having so much shit in his life. He began to destroy his room without knowing that Dean was listening to everything, the blonde thought that now he had ruined things between the two of them. He looked down and took a sip from the bottle of cider, he needed to get drunk until he couldn't even remember his own name.

Castiel gasped, his breathing was labored, he couldn't think, only incoherencies came from his lips.

"Dean...-"It was the only thing he could say. The movements were faster and faster, he squeezed the length of him while he caressed the tip of his glans, which made him let out a moan. He could imagine Dean on his knees in front of him, his mouth around his cock, taking him deeper and deeper, asking for more, staring into his eyes. He began to feel tickles in his abdomen, he was about to come, so he accelerated the pace of his hand and held back from moaning, he didn't want to be heard.

He could imagine fucking Dean's mouth, hard and deep, and then cumming in his mouth. Imagining that made him explode, he came hard, splashing his shirt and leaving him breathless. It was the third time that week that he masturbated thinking about Dean, he felt like a dirty pervert for imagining him completely ready for him. In the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, his room, Dean's room, against the window or the door. He had been horny for quite a few days and the only thing that could satisfy him was thinking about that blonde.

He adjusted his pants and took off his shirt, left it on the chair and took another shirt. Once he was wearing it, he left the room and headed to the kitchen, where Dean was talking on his cell phone. It had been almost a month since that incident on New Year's, the atmosphere was no longer as tense as at the beginning, but they definitely did not act as if nothing had happened.

"See you this weekend?" Dean asked.

"Yes, I already bought my ticket." Said Sam on the other end of the line. "I'll see you there in a few days."

"Until then." Dean smiled. "Take care Sammy."

"Hey," Dean said when Castiel entered the room. "My brother is coming this weekend, I hope you don't mind."

"Okay," Castiel shrugged as he took a swig from his water bottle. "I'm going out...do you need anything?"

"No, I don't think so." Dean left the kitchen and took a seat on the couch, he was reviewing a book for college.

Two hours later, Dean decided to take a break, Castiel had not yet returned so he still had the apartment to himself. Maybe he could reorganize his room for when his brother was there, so he threw away a few food wrappers, papers, anything he didn't need.
Afterwards he took all the dirty clothes and after searching for the laundry basket for several minutes, he remembered that Castiel had asked to borrow his laundry basket because his clothes didn't fit in one, he headed to Cas's room. . When he opened the door he could see how everything was in his place, it was too organized for Dean's liking, but he looked for the basket, but it wasn't there, so he was probably occupying it.

On the chair he saw a completely wrinkled shirt, Dean frowned, Castiel would never leave a shirt lying around, much less unfolded. When he took the shirt he noticed the stains on the bottom, as if it were wet, without thinking twice he touched the wet area and felt something slimy on his fingers. Cas would never leave a shirt like that, Dean hadn't figured out what the stains were, so he sniffed the fabric but nothing seemed to tell him what it was. He ran his fingers over the area again and had the bright idea to try whatever was on that shirt. He stood still and opened his eyes wide. It was semen. he had just tasted cum that probably came from Castiel. He threw the shirt on the floor and left the room without believing what had just happened. Dean was starting to have sinful thoughts about that shirt and he even knew he was home alone...he shook his head. He wasn't going to jerk off through Castiel's shirt, he would feel bad if he did that. He was no longer a horny-virgin teen.

He fell onto the couch and let out a long sigh. He grabbed his computer and continued the review, trying to forget what had just happened.

Hours later Castiel returned, he didn't even look at him when he entered, he went to his room and didn't come out again all night. He felt ridiculous but he didn't know how to look Castiel in the eyes after this.

Friday came flying, Dean headed to the airport a few hours after leaving college, his mother had called when Sam's flight had taken off, after a while, his brother appeared from the crowd and the two of them met. They hugged for a few seconds, then Dean punched him on the shoulder and they both laughed.

"How was your flight?" Dean asked as they walked to the subway.

"It wasn't that bad." Sam shrugged.

Dean introduced his brother several times when he arrived at the building, he had met all the neighbors, they all seemed happy to finally meet Sam, they were delighted. Before entering the apartment Dean stopped and looked at Sam.

"Act normal, did you hear me?" Dean let out a sigh.

"Are you telling me or are you just trying to convince yourself out loud?"

"Shut up and when we're in there don't talk nonsense, things have been uncomfortable the last few days." Dean cleared his throat and opened the door without giving his brother the chance to ask anything.

Castiel was sitting on the couch reading, when Dean called him he raised his head and stood up, the brothers approached him and Dean introduced them.

"Oh, so you're Castiel..." Sam nodded suspiciously smiling. "My brother couldn't stop talking about you on FaceTime."

Dean gave him a withering look, although his younger brother was avoiding his gaze. His brother was just trying to annoy him, Sam didn't know anything about what had been happening between the two.

"The same one in person." Castiel smiled and gave Dean a small look. "Welcome."

"Dean didn't tell me you were..."

"Whoa..." Dean interrupted his brother, took his luggage and started pushing him to his room.  "Sam remember that I promised to take you for the best pizza in town."

"What are you doing?" Sam asked whispering.

"Shut your mouth and walk." Dean said in a whisper.

"Nice to meet you Castiel!" Sam shouted as he was dragged by his younger brother to his room.

Castiel silently watched them move down the hallway as they whispered scoldings to each other. He didn't know what the weekend awaited him.

Chapter Text

On Saturday morning Sam woke up relatively early, he texted his mother and left the room, he headed to the kitchen and watched Dean asleep on the couch, last night Sam had insisted on sleeping on the couch but his stubborn brother had denied him, sending him to his room. He rolled his eyes at the memory and wondered if his brother would ever stop treating him like a baby.

Upon entering the kitchen he found Castiel sitting having a cup of coffee, he was reading the newspaper.

"Hello." Sam said walking towards the refrigerator.

"Good morning," Castiel answered without looking up.

Sam took the gallon of orange juice and poured some into a glass he managed to reach. He watched Castiel as he took a sip of his juice. He recognized Castiel's attractiveness and understood why his brother was enchanted, although his brother still didn't fully know it, it was more than obvious that he was crazy about Castiel.

"Does it run in the family to stare at people?" said Castiel, who still did not look up, took a sip of his coffee and continued reading.

"Uh..." I had taken him completely off guard. "I'm just observing who my brother lives with..."

"I'm not a weirdo if that's what worries you." Castiel shrugged and Sam was annoyed that he never looked him in the eye, he was very rude.

"What are you studying?" Sam asked without stopping to look at him.

"Criminology." Castiel answered still without looking at him.

"Interesting." Sam raised his eyebrows. "We will work in similar fields."

"What are you going to study?"

"Law."Sam answered immediately.

"Ah, a lawyer... You like to argue."

"I'm used to it..." Sam shrugged.

"Yes, having Dean as a brother I can imagine it."

"Is Dean a pain in the ass for you?" Sam asked curiously.

"Not for you?" Castiel looked up from the laptop screen to look at Sam.

"He is my brother, I think I can't hate him."

"I guess not..." Castiel looked down thinking about his brothers. They remained silent for a few seconds, Castiel looked back at his laptop while Sam looked around him.

"Dean's not that hateful, you know?" Sam spoke, looking back at Castiel, drawing his attention.

"Oh no?"

"No, he just loves to get on people's nerves." Sam nodded. "If he knows your weaknesses you're lost, friend."

Dean entered the kitchen yawning, he was startled to see Sam talking pleasantly to Castiel, he stood still and looked at them for a few seconds.

"What are they doing?" Dean asked.

"We plan to disappear you so Dad leaves the Impala to me." Sam said sarcastically, Dean shook his head.

"That car will go with me to the grave Samuel." Dean said walking to the refrigerator. "What do you want?"

"Some oatmeal pancakes with banana," Sam said excitedly, because he knew that his brother prepares whatever for him or his parents. Dean nodded.

"Okay," Dean said as he looked for the ingredients throughout the kitchen. "Do you want oatmeal pancakes too, Cas?"

"Eeh..."  Castiel doubted his response. He didn't want to get in the way of a family moment like that.

"That's a yes," Sam said, nodding. Castiel was taken aback, but he remained silent and continued reading.

Half an hour later Dean had already prepared the oatmeal pancakes and was now serving coffee, Sam had a pleasant conversation with Dean, sometimes he included Castiel in the conversation and for the first time in many years Castiel had a family breakfast, the brothers did not They were his family but in that moment they made him feel part of one.

After breakfast Sam took a shower while Dean washed the dishes and Castiel continued reading the book "Ethnographic Criminology", since he had to do an essay about it, he was missing three quarters of the book to finish it. Prey by The Neighborhood began to play on the stereo, it was from the playlist that Dean usually played when cooking or cleaning the apartment. Dean walked over to his cell phone and turned up the music volume to start singing in a whisper.

As long as you notice
I'm hoping that you'll keep your heart open
I'll keep mine open too...

Castiel had never heard Dean sing or at least he hadn't paid attention to it. He had a beautiful voice, it was quite melodious and sweet. He looked up and found Dean with his back to him, still washing the dishes while singing and shaking his hips from side to side to the rhythm of the song.

Something is off, I feel like prey, I feel like praying

Castiel watched Dean in silence, the Winchester was so engrossed in singing that he hadn't noticed Novak's gaze on him, he even raised his voice while singing, completely forgetting that he was not alone.

So, so, I'll probably take you aside
And tell you what's on my mind
But you, you'll just keep it inside
Probably tell me that you're alright

Dean continued singing and dancing, he even thought about Castiel, that song seemed to perfectly describe their relationship as roommates, he just didn't know when he could get close to Cas and when he couldn't.

If I run away I'll never know
And if you go then I'll never grow Let me slip, let me slide
I'll be sure to let you fly

Dean turned on his heel to see if there were still dirty plates or glasses and the only thing he found was Castiel sitting staring at him without any expression. Dean blushed and thought that he was probably interrupting his homework thanks to his scandal, before Castiel called him out, he apologized.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still here," Dean said, looking down.

"I could tell," Castiel answered as he continued to stare at him.

"I don't normally sing, it's just that I thought I was alone." Dean approached the table and took the cup of coffee that was there.

Castiel nodded and looked back at his laptop, he could have said Don't worry, you sing beautifully or It turned me on to see you dancing like that, maybe he could even have stood up and wrapped his arms around his waist to dance next to him. But Castiel wasn't like that, no matter how much he wanted to compliment him on his singing, the words wouldn't come out of his mouth.

Dean turned his back once more and turned off the music to continue washing the cup. Castiel let out a sigh and looked up once more, he liked Dean enough to act like an idiot, without thinking he stood up and walked over to Dean, who looked at him over his left shoulder and before he could ask what he was doing. Castiel grabbed him by the cheeks and planted a kiss on his lips, unfortunately it was too short because upon hearing Sam's voice in the hallway they immediately separated.

"Dean, I was thinking that maybe we could eat out..." Sam entered the kitchen and found his blushing brother looking at him and Castiel almost two meters away also looking at him, he had just interrupted something, Sam smiled to himself because he had just come up with an infallible plan. "I had thought that you would take me to visit the Empire State, Harlem and Times Square... There are quite a few places that I would like to visit but I don't think it is possible to visit them today."

"Why do you want to go to Harlem?" Dean asked, clearing his throat.

"Hello? It is a very famous multicultural neighborhood." Sam shook his head trying to sound obvious. "I want to walk down Malcolm X Avenue, visit Mount Morris and the list can go on and on..."

"Oh, I don't know what a good idea that is... I don't know that neighborhood..." Dean said with a shrug, he had studied all week about Times Square, Fifth Avenue, the public library, the Statue of Liberty, He thought that those would be the places his brother would choose to see, but apparently every day he was surprised more and more.

"Do you know Harlem, Castiel?" Sam asked, directing his gaze towards the black-haired man.

"Yes, I used to stop by there often." Castiel shrugged.

"Well, it's settled, Cas can give us a tour of Harlem," Sam said smiling.

"Wait a minute, kid," Dean said, crossing his arms. "You can't decide for anyone else, you don't know if Castiel is busy..."

"I have no problem." Castiel said with a shrug. "I can accompany you."

"Can you?" Dean asked, looking at him.

"If you don't mind," Castiel said, Sam held back an evil smile.

"Of course he doesn't mind." Sam said smiling. "Now go change Dean, we have a long day ahead of us."

Sam shoved Dean out of the kitchen, leaving Castiel alone.

Dean walked behind Castiel and Sam who were having a conversation about buildings and the architecture of skyscrapers, he just listened to them talk and was happy that they were understanding each other.

They got on the subway and Sam made sure that Cas and Dean were stopped from the same tube, at any moment more people would get on and force them to get closer. Sam hid his smile from him.

At the next station, more people began to get on, forcing Dean to slide his hand over the tube until it rubbed against Castiel's. Castiel looked at him for a few seconds, making Dean blush and look down. Castiel lowered his hand a little more. stopping his fingers on Dean's, no one could see him due to the number of people in the car but if it was empty the others would probably think they were a couple.

Castiel had promised to take Sam everywhere he could all day, so the first stop was the public library, where Dean was able to show him around while keeping Castiel and Sam's attention, then Sam excused himself by saying that he wanted to explore some halls of the library on his own, leaving Castiel and Dean alone.
Dean looked at his feet in silence, preferring not to speak because he didn't want to fight with him while Sam was with them. Castiel also decided to remain silent, he knew that after what had happened in the morning they would not talk as if nothing had happened.

Sam saw Castiel and Dean in the distance, they seemed to be silent and didn't even look at each other, Dean had his head down with his hands on his pockets of his jeans while Castiel had his arms crossed and looked to the opposite side where Dean was. Sam let out a sigh and knew that he had to find another way to get them to talk, he walked towards them to put an end to the awkwardness in the air.

Since it was still too early, Castiel took the brothers to the Central Park Zoo, after there they would go to Harlem to eat, they would go to the Empire State Building in the evening and finally they would tour Times Square and Fifth Avenue at night. Castiel had organized an itinerary and a small map on his phone, he was clearly going swimmingly and that's how it would have to be all day.

"Did you seriously create an itinerary for the Subway trips and the bathroom?" Dean asked as he watched Castiel check the stopwatch on his cell phone.

"Everything must be planned, Dean," Castiel said without taking his eyes off his phone. Castiel's shoulder brushed Dean's cheek while the two of them kept their eyes fixed on Castiel's phone.

Sam looked at them smiling, without them realizing he took out his cell phone and took a photo of them, he would bother Dean with that later, for now he would just dedicate himself to enjoying seeing them together.

While at the zoo Sam managed to leave them alone, he spied on them from afar but they seemed almost to ignore each other, they exchanged a few words about the animals and remained silent again, he was beginning to get desperate but he shouldn't lose hope, by the end of the day They would be talking to each other.

When Sam met them they went to the herpetarium, he and Castiel were talking about the different species of reptiles, once again Dean just watched them in silence, he really enjoyed listening to them talk. Dean preferred to stay away from all those animals so he walked looking at the ground.
They reached the insect section where there were arachnids more than anything, so Dean decided to wait for them outside. He left the place quite dizzy and took a seat on the nearest bench. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he hated spiders.

Meanwhile, Castiel and Sam watched all the animals. Sam thought Castiel was a rather interesting man, somewhat serious and a little quiet but he definitely had his approval.

"Is he going to be okay?" Castiel asked after seeing Dean running out of the place.

"He'll get over it, he hates insects." Sam shrugged. "Since we're alone, tell me more about yourself."

"What can I say?" Castiel looked at Sam, grimacing.

"Are you single? Do you have siblings?" Sam shook his head thinking of more questions. "Do you have a favorite singer?"

"I'm single." Castiel nodded. "I have 4 brothers and I don't have a favorite singer."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty." Castiel frowned. "Why?"

"Curiosity." Sam shrugged. "Is my brother dating anyone?"

"Why are you asking me?" Castiel kept his brow furrowed.

"Just answer."

"No," Castiel said, looking away.

Sam nodded and continued talking about the bugs. He decided to ask Castiel that since he wanted to see what he would answer.

When they left the herpetarium they met Dean again and the first one to approach and ask about his well-being was Castiel. He sounded a little worried but kept his face expressionless and tried not to make physical contact with Dean.

"I'm fine, I just wasn't going to stand one more minute with those animals." Dean shook his head and smiled sideways. For the first time that day, Castiel smiled back at him and they headed to the subway to go to Harlem where they would eat something.

They walked around the neighborhood a little until they reached a small restaurant where they enjoyed the food and then headed to the Empire State Building, since they didn't want to miss the famous golden hour at the skyscraper.
When they went up to the viewpoint they were amazed by the city Sam took some photographs and when the sun was about to disappear he managed to take a photograph of Castiel and Dean, his brother would thank him later. Castiel met Sam's gaze and frowned, Dean also looked at Sam and approached angrily to take the phone away from him so he could stop taking pictures of them.
Sam protested but took a small camera out of his backpack and walked away from him to continue taking pictures. Dean returned close to Castiel and they continued to observe the city.

"I was thinking of bringing you here one day." Castiel said once again without thinking, he looked at the city.

"Really?" Dean looked at Castiel's profile.

"Yes, you said you didn't know the city." Castiel shrugged his shoulders. "It seemed to me that you had to know this place."

"It's very nice." Dean looked around.

"It is." Castiel looked at Dean, he wanted to engrave that image in his mind, Dean with New York City at night. Dean met his gaze and smiled.

"What?" Dean asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, I'm just observing." Castiel didn't take his eyes off him and that made Dean nervous, who looked away towards the city.

The two looked at the city in silence, unaware of their bodies got closer until their shoulders were touching and their hands were touching. Dean began to move his fingers playing with Castiel's. He didn't seem to care, he let himself be touched without taking his eyes off the front, Dean managed to take Castiel's hand, he felt warm, safe, he liked this.

"They can't do that here," said a woman behind him, the two looked over their shoulders and then turned around.

"Excuse me?" Castiel said, frowning in annoyance.

"This is a public place, you can't do that." The woman looked at them disgusted.

"Hold the other's hand?" Dean took Castiel's hand, intertwining it and pointing it towards the upset woman.

"It's disrespectful, there are children and old people here." The woman was fuming from her ears from the fury she felt.

"I don't see that it bothers any of them," Castiel said. "If it bothers you, you're free to leave."

"Yeah, go to hell," Dean said, he hated homophobes and all the horrible things they had said to him for years.

"I'm going to call the police and..."

"Madam, with all due respect I am going to ask you to leave." Said a security guard who was there, at that moment many people began to observe what was happening.

"It's them you have to tell to leave." The woman pointed at them. "Children can't see that."

"Love is not a crime." Another woman told her and many supported her.

"Get out of here." A man shouted and everyone began to yell at him to leave.

Sam noticed in the distance that a crowd had formed, so he decided to go closer to see what was happening. When he managed to make his way through the people, he saw Dean and Castiel arguing with a woman.

"Madam, leave before I do it by force." Said the guard. "In this establishment we do not tolerate any type of discrimination."

"But..."

"You heard Karen, get out of here," Sam said and everyone laughed.

"This is for you." Dean said, he surrounded Castiel's shoulders and pulled him until their lips met, Castiel surrounded his waist and followed the kiss. The crowd began to applaud and the woman, enraged by what she had just witnessed, was escorted out of the lookout by the guard.

Dean didn't want to pull away, he was enjoying Castiel's lips against his so much that he wanted to stay like that for life, with all the willpower he had, he separated his lips from Castiel but kept his arms around Dean's shoulders. elderly.

Many approached them and asked if they were okay or even gave them words of encouragement. Dean took advantage of those minutes to put both of his arms around Castiel's arm. They both nodded and thanked the people who approached them, almost everyone told them "You are a beautiful couple" and that made Dean feel butterflies in his stomach.

"That was inspiring." Sam said approaching them. "Did they just kiss to annoy that Karen?"

"Yes," Dean said, nodding. Castiel cleared his throat. "When it comes to homophobes, I love making them suffer."

"Nice." Sam smiled, nodding. "Well, if you still feel up to it, we're missing Times Square and Fifth Avenue."

"We still have five minutes and thirty seconds left here," Castiel said, looking at his watch.

"Let's enjoy the five minutes and thirty seconds then," Dean said, smiling at Castiel.

Sam had done it. He was proud of himself, it wasn't the way he had wanted it to happen but they had kissed...

Chapter Text

Sam had missed his flight home, he didn't seem to be worried at all but Dean was quite nervous because he knew that his parents would complain to him for not taking Sam to the airport on time.

"I can't take you to class." Dean said while he put books in his backpack. "You have to stay here and I don't know... watch a movie but don't go out at all and don't..."

"Don't open the door to strangers." Sam interrupted him. "I know Dean, you've said it three times in the last two hours."

Professor Johnson had decided to teach classes on Sunday, so he had no choice but to attend and leave his brother alone at home with Castiel. Dean let out a sigh and reached up to Sam's hair to ruffle it.

"I won't be long, I promise." Dean took his backpack and left the apartment. Sam took a seat on the couch and checked his cell phone without paying much attention to what he read on the screen. Castiel appeared behind Sam talking to someone on his cell phone, it sounded sharp and seemed like he was talking to his sister.

"I haven't had time Hannah." Castiel headed to the kitchen while he spoke. "I'm not your only brother."

The youngest Winchester tried to ignore Castiel's conversation and kept his eyes fixed on his cell phone. Minutes later, Castiel ended the call and left the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

"So Dean abandoned you," Castiel said, taking a seat on the next couch. He brought a bottle of water that he left on the small coffee table along with his cell phone.

"Just for a few hours." Sam shrugged. "That gives us more time to continue getting to know each other."

"Know each other?"

"Yes, yesterday I could see that you're a couple, that makes us almost family, right?" Sam was playing dumb but he knew that Castiel didn't know him well enough to know that. The older man choked on the coffee he was drinking, started coughing, and then looked at Sam.

"No, no, no, you brother and I are nothing." Castiel cleared his throat. "Yesterday was just a one-time thing."

"But I saw you together yesterday, in the morning..." Sam feigned confusion. Castiel looked at Sam for a few seconds that same expression was so similar to Dean's.

"We live in the same place, kid." Castiel frowned, crossing his arms.

"No, I mean I saw, you know..." Sam shrugged. "Kissing."

"That..."

"Was that a one-time thing too?" Sam raised his eyebrows and Castiel couldn't help but think that Sam was playing with his mind.

He had been left speechless, fortunately there was a knock at the door and Castiel was internally grateful for that interruption, he stood up without saying anything and ran towards the door to open it. Balthazar was in front of him smiling and as soon as he finished opening the door his friend rushed to hug him. Castiel, surprised by the visit of his friend, did not hug him back, he never did, he didn't like them.

"I thought you were still in London." Castiel remained motionless, Balthazar walked away smiling.

"I arrived yesterday, the exchange bored me a little and I decided to return." He shrugged his shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel closed the door and looked at his friend, Sam was watching them indiscreetly from the couch.

"I came to say hello."

"You don't even like my neighborhood."

"Today I wanted to come." Balthazar put a hand on his chest, pretending to be offended. "I also came to meet Dean."

Castiel rolled his eyes, for good or bad luck Dean wasn't there, but his younger brother was, who seemed to always be analyzing him and even felt like he was challenging him when it came to Dean.
Balthazar looked around until he found Sam who was looking at him smiling, surely he was enjoying this.

"You must be Dean." Balthazar smiled but seemed confused. "But you don't look anything like Meg's description..."

"He's not Dean, he's Sam." Castiel said, Balthazar looked at his friend and then at his youngest.

"I'm Dean's brother." Sam nodded. Balthazar smiled flirtatiously.

"I think they didn't introduce us well." Balthazar approached the minor and took Sam's hand to give him small massages. Sam looked at him a little strangely without knowing what to say. Balthazar noticed that Sam looked quite young. "How old are you?"

"I'm sixteen," Sam said, trying not to laugh. Balthazar let go of Sam's hand and stood up.

"Forget it, call me in two years." Balthazar approached Castiel who was standing with his arms crossed looking at him.

"You have to go." Castiel remained expressionless.

"Is this how you treat your friend who you haven't seen in months?" Balthazar knew that Castiel was not an affectionate person so he was used to such treatment.

"Dean told me to take care of Sam while he's gone, you can't be here." Castiel shook his head.

"My brother asked you?" Sam frowned in surprise.

"Yes, he asked me when he came back from the airport." Castiel was lying but he didn't want Balthazar to make a fool of him. "And I don't think he likes someone else being with us."

"I didn't know they were so serious, friend..." Sam could tell that Balthazar was genuinely surprised. "Besides, I really need to meet that boy, I want to know what he did with the real Castiel."

"I'm serious Balthazar... We can meet any other day."

"Is Dean some Witch or something like that?" He asked Sam. "Because he has my poor friend under a spell."

Sam raised his arms to his shoulders and shook his head. He was enjoying this conversation so much that he was still debating whether he would tell his older brother what he was hearing.

"That's nonsense, Balthazar." Castiel sounded a little annoyed.

"It's the sex, right?" Sam wanted to laugh at the look on Castiel's face, Balthazar for the first time that day seriously asked something. "Or is it the lack of sex? Are you conditioned?"

"Get out." Castiel pointed to the door, Balthazar looked at him raising his eyebrows and then pushed him out of the apartment. "What's wrong with you?"

"I should ask you that."

"Look, I don't know if you and Meg are trying to play a joke on me or you just came to screw up my life but now is not the time."

"Why not?" Balthazar frowned. "Is it because of your brother-in-law?"

"He's not my..." Castiel took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Hannah called an hour ago."

"And what did she need?"

"She wants me to go to the hospital, Gabriel is still not responding and... Maybe they will transfer him to another hospital or disconnect him."

"Oh, Cassy." Balthazar looked down. "How do you feel?"

"Honestly, like shit." Castiel looked away for a few seconds. "I just want to distract myself for a few hours."

"Okay, we can go back inside and spend some quality time with Sam while we wait for Dean."

"Why so much insistence on meeting Dean?"

"I want to meet the boy who brings you like this." Balthazar emphasized the last word as he gave Castiel a light push in the chest with his index finger.

"Like this?" Castiel frowned.

"You have changed..." Balthazar nodded. Before Castiel could claim anything, Sam opened the door, drawing both of their attention.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you but the kitchen phone rang and a girl said she should let you know he's on his way." Sam had the door open just so his head could stick out. Castiel glared at Balthazar.

"Did you tell Meg to come?" Sam cleared his throat while Balthazar cowered under the gaze of his friend.

"I'll let you continue talking." Sam smiled uncomfortably and closed the door.

Now Castiel would have to deal with his friends and Dean's brother, he just wanted a quiet afternoon.

------

Dean kept thinking about how his brother was home alone, if his mother knew that she probably wouldn't let Sam visit him anymore.

But it wasn't like Sam was in danger or exposed, after all Castiel was home and they had gotten along very well, he liked that, maybe later they could visit more places, they would watch movies or eat whatever they wanted to eat, Dean would prepare it. He shook his head and tried to stay in class, he had to do his best or he would lose the scholarship.

He just hoped his brother was watching television.

"So tell us Sam..." Meg took a seat next to Sam. "Why did Dean dare to leave you with Castiel?"

"He's in class." Sam answered.

"Too bad he's not here." Meg pouted. "Castiel and I really enjoyed his company."

Castiel rolled his eyes as he walked away to answer a call.

"What does Dean think about Cassy?" Balthazar asked once he confirmed that Castiel couldn't hear him.

"Has he told you about him? " Meg and Balthazar stared at the minor in search of an answer, Sam opened his mouth but stopped to think about what a good idea it was to tell them the truth.

"Maybe..." Sam shrugged.

"Oh come on, tell us." Balthazar insisted.

"Your brother is the first person in years to catch Castiel's attention."

"Really?" Sam asked surprised.

"He has never been interested in having a partner and in the time that I have known him he has not been with anyone." Balthazar settled in his seat to get closer to Sam and Meg.

"And why do you think it's different with my brother?"

"Because it is." Sam frowned, while Meg continued. "Castiel rarely sighs, he's been lost in thought and I've seen the looks he gives him while Dean isn't paying attention."

"Castiel doesn't tell you anything about Dean?"

"Not really, he always evades the subject." Balthazar sighed. Before Sam could say anything Castiel approached again.

"You have to go." Castiel put his hands on his hips. "I just talked to Michael, he's coming."

"M-Michael?" Balthazar asked nervously, Castiel nodded.

Castiel's older brother intimidated anyone, he was a 30-year-old man with a cold electric blue gaze, he always remained expressionless, he had a haughty and arrogant attitude, he never smiled, he was large in size and his thick voice only made him more imposing.

"Yes, he wants to talk to me and I need us to be alone." Castiel walked towards the door. "We'll see each other another time."

Without thinking twice Balthazar dragged Meg outside Castiel's apartment. The first and last time Balthazar saw Michael was a year ago, when he came up to greet Castiel on campus, he immediately regretted it after the look his older brother gave him followed by "I don't have time for your vapid friends." 

"Should I be worried?" Sam asked after seeing the adults' reaction.

"No, my brother is just arrogant." Castiel shrugged his shoulders.

In less than ten minutes there was a knock on the door, two firm knocks awaiting Castiel. The older man approached the door letting in a man of 1.85 who kept his hands on his sides. He didn't even look at Castiel or speak to him, he just entered looking around him, until his eyes caught his eye. They arrived at Sam. Sam felt himself shrink under the man's gaze, Michael looked away at his brother, Castiel looked at Sam indifferently.

"Leave us alone, Sam." The youngest Winchester shuddered at the tone of voice Castiel had used on him. Without saying anything he stood up and walked to Dean's room, where he closed the door. He stayed glued to the door trying to listen to the conversation.

"You didn't deign to show up today either." Michael spoke.

"I was busy." Castiel crossed his arms.

"Being a babysitter." Michael nodded. "That seems more important than your brother."

"Shut up, you haven't given a shit about Gabriel all these years," Castiel yelled.

"If you cared so much about your brother, you wouldn't take the situation so lightly."

"I don't, ever." Castiel looked away.

"I came because the hospital needs the four signatures of his brothers."

"For what?" Castiel frowned and met his brother's gaze.

"Gabriel is never going to wake up, Hannah and I made the decision to disconnect him." Castiel felt that his world collapsed.

"No, they can't do that."

"That's why we called you but you didn't show up." Michael shrugged his shoulders. "It was the decision we made and it's too late to fight."

"I'm not going to sign."

"Stop being selfish Castiel."

"I'm not going to give up on my brother, idiot."

"You were the idiot." Michael pointed his index finger at him. "Gabriel had to pay the price for your recklessness."

"None of that would have happened if you weren't so insolent." Castiel raised his voice again, clenching his fists. "We are not going to disconnect Gabriel, no matter what it costs me."

At that moment the apartment door opened and Dean entered smiling. When he saw his roommate arguing with another man his smile disappeared. Dean was about to open his mouth but when he met Castiel's gaze he knew it was better. Moving away, he almost ran to his room where he met his brother. When he opened the door, Sam lost his balance and fell on his back.

"Sam, what are you doing behind the door?" Dean frowned and closed the door behind him.

"Shh, you're not letting me hear the fight." Sam pushed Dean away and put his ear close to the door again. Dean frowned and approached the door trying to listen to the conversation.

Unfortunately they only heard murmurs and the occasional insult, which made Dean wonder how thick the doors and walls were to barely hear a conversation less than 4 meters away. He blushed thinking about the times Castiel had said that it had been a long time. scandal with the boys he brought home every Friday.

"Castiel received a call from his brother saying that he was on his way." Sam spoke in a whisper without moving. "As soon as he arrived he told me to leave."

"Is that his brother?" Dean raised his eyebrows looking at his brother, he couldn't get a good look at the man but he was quite intimidating.

A crash sounded behind the door, the murmurs began to become screams and several glasses broke. Sam and Dean exchanged glances, the older man without thinking twice opened the door and ran into the living room.

Chapter Text

A broken vase on the floor alarmed Dean, when he looked up he found Castiel and Michael struggling, with Sam's help they separated the brothers who were still insulting each other, Dean took Castiel and Sam took Michael.

"You're not gonna fight in my house." Dean raised his voice, Michael abruptly freed himself from Sam.

"It is none of your business, kid," Michael answered. Dean was still holding Castiel by the arms. When he separated, he stood in front of Castiel.

"It's my business from the moment you come to my house and have a pitched battle with Castiel." Dean spoke firmly, while inside he was afraid of being hit by that creepy man.

"Dean, let me handle this." Castiel spoke, standing next to him. He squeezed his eyes and frowned. Dean looked at him confused.

"You okay Cas?" Dean put a hand on Cas's shoulder, who felt like everything was spinning. "Let's sit on the couch."

With Sam's help, they carried Castiel to the couch, who kept his eyes closed.

"Castiel, you must sign." Michael said once again with his cold tone.

"Fuck you Michael," Castiel said with difficulty.

"Cas feels bad." Dean walked towards Michael. "If you're not going to help, leave."

"This isn't going to stay like this." Michael looked at Dean and left the apartment, slamming the door.

When Dean returned to Cas, he touched the back of his hand to his forehead, frowned, and looked at Sam.

"Bring the thermometer." Dean said, Sam nodded and went to the bathroom, where the first aid kit was. "Does anything hurt?"

"It's a simple headache." Castiel opened his eyes and pushed Dean's hand away. "I don't need anything."

"Your face says something else," Dean said, receiving the gun-shaped thermometer. Sam took a seat at the coffee table and watched Castiel, while Dean took Cas's hand to measure his temperature.

"Do you take any medication?" Sam asked, looking at Cas. Dean remembered the night he stayed up late and Castiel could barely walk, he had to give him some pills.

"Go to the kitchen and look for some blue pills in the third drawer from left to right." Dean said looking at Sam, while Castiel looked at Dean in surprise. When he was there he looked at him again and raised his eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

"How do you know where I keep my medicine?" Castiel asked.

"For the time you felt very bad and I had to help you get to bed, don't you remember?"

"No, not until now..." Castiel frowned, many of the times he used to feel like this he forgot how things happened. Once Cas took the medicine from him, Dean smirked.

"What's your medicine for?" Sam asked, Dean and Cas looked at him.

"I... eh." It was the first time that Dean heard Castiel unsure of his words. "I have post-traumatic stress... for years."

Dean looked at him surprised as did Sam.

"Can I ask why?" Sam said, Dean pushed him.

"Don't be invasive Sam," Dean told him and Castiel thanked him internally. "Do you want me to help you get to your room or do you prefer to lie down here?"

"I'll stay here for a while." Castiel nodded and leaned back on the couch, watching the brothers talk, deep down he knew that he didn't want to lock himself in his room with his thoughts.

He remained silent all afternoon listening to the brothers joke and watching television, the company of both of them was pleasant. As night fell, Dean accompanied him to his room since he still felt a little weak. When he managed to get Cas settled, Dean took a seat at the foot of the bed.

"If I had known your brother was coming, I would have taken Sam," Dean said, looking at Castiel, who was looking at the ceiling.

"I didn't knew he was coming either, I only received the call from him minutes before."

"I think I made him quite angry," Dean said, scratching the back of his neck, Cas let out a laugh.

"I would say that you made him breathe fire." Castiel answered, who kept his gaze fixed on the ceiling, as if he were going to find a solution to his concerns. Dean had been so attentive to him, no one had been like that with Castiel in a long time. They remained silent for a few minutes and before Dean could stand up Castiel spoke. "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure." Dean looked at Cas carefully, Castiel raised his head and looked at him for a few seconds before looking at the ceiling again.

"The reason Michael came is because he wants us to disconnect my brother Gabriel, he has been in a coma for several years." Cas' words left Dean frozen, he expected anything but that, before he could speak Castiel continued. "It's my fault that Gabriel is like this but I don't have the courage to visit him, I just don't want him to be disconnected... I'm afraid to let him go..."

"I don't know your story and if you don't want to tell me I respect it..." Dean spoke. "But that's a lot of weight on your shoulders Cas, I'm sure Gabriel would never blame you, don't do this to yourself and as for disconnecting him ... you must look for what is best for your brother, always thinking that it is for him and not for you or for Michael... also know that you are not alone." Castiel looked down at Dean. "You have Meg... you have me."

"What's the point of having people who support me, they're not going to bring my brother back to me." Castiel said, looking away, Dean wondered why Castiel isolated himself so much.

"You are right, we are not going to return your brother to you but we listen to you and we are going to help you in whatever is within our reach."

"I... should I sign?"

"I'll tell you what I would do in your place..."

"What good will that do for me?"

"Shh, listen to me." Castiel looked at Dean intently, this boy surprised him more and more. "Propose a period of time, if in that time there are no signs of life from Gabriel, be it a sound, a movement, something, then You will sign the contract, making sure that your brother doesn't show even the slightest sign of life."

"That..." Castiel nodded. "doesn't sound bad at all."

"You see? I can be very helpful." Dean shrugged.

"Do you know how you could help me?" Castiel asked, smiling.

"How?" Dean said innocently.

"Letting me go to second base with you." Dean raised his eyebrows and smiled.

"I didn't know you were the type to make dirty jokes." Castiel returned a weak smile. "Maybe one day, but first you have to ask me out."

"And what about all the boys who have come?" Castiel frowned. "I don't think they asked you out."

"No, they didn't." Dean shrugged, standing up, he approached Castiel and placed his index finger around the tip of the older man's nose. "But you're different."

"That's cheating," Castiel said, Dean walked away towards the door.

"You better rest." Dean smiled at him and left his room.

Dean let out a sigh and for a moment thought about how much he loved talking to Cas and how happy he would be to date him but he shook his head and told himself that he couldn't fall in love with Castiel, it was forbidden.

He arrived with Sam who was still watching television.

"It took a long time in there," Sam said once Dean took a seat next to him.

"I was making sure he was okay." Dean nodded.

"You sound like you're his mother." Sam smiled at him and Dean looked all over him. "Uuhhh you like him"

"Shut up or I'll tell mom and dad that you were to blame for missing your flight."

"You're a killjoy." Sam smiled, pushing Dean away.

"You're a fool." Dean laughed, hitting him with a cushion.

"Bitch".

"Jerk."

After saying goodbye to Sam, Dean and Castiel returned to the apartment, they did not exchange words on the way, Dean thought that Castiel was still overwhelmed by his thoughts and indeed Castiel was absorbed in his thoughts, totally ignoring Dean's glances.

Castiel walked away again, they rarely exchanged words, Dean suffered from seeing him so isolated, he knew it was his brother but he didn't want to interfere. Dean's birthday was Saturday, school was killing him but he took all of Sunday to get some rest. He let out a sigh as he let the water run down his back, exams were starting in a month and a half, but he had a lot of projects due by early February. Dean was just telling himself that this was for his future, he was halfway there and he couldn't screw it up.

Turning off the water, he stretched his arm to reach for a towel, but remembered that he hadn't hung any up as he was deep in thought about it. After cursing, Dean got out of the shower and walked to the small shelf that was in front of the shower and to the side of the sink. Being lazy, he didn't walk until he reached the shelf, but instead reached back a few steps to grab a towel and accidentally knocked himself over. He slipped because his feet were wet. Nothing had hurt him as much as that fall. He sat down and tried to stand up, resting his hands on the floor, but he couldn't have enough strength to get up. When he rested his right leg, a sharp pain appeared. on his ankle, he wanted to laugh and cry at the situation he found himself in.

He heard the apartment door open, Castiel had returned from his morning walk or at least that's what Dean thought every time Castiel disappeared on the weekends, with the little dignity he had left he began to shout his name, hoping to to help him stand up. Castiel opened the bathroom door with a frown, when his eyes met Dean's he raised his eyebrows.

"Close your eyes!" Dean yelled at him, trying to cover himself.

"You have nothing I haven't seen before," Castiel said, rolling his eyes.

"But it's my body, I don't want you to see it." Dean shrank, he was proud of his body but he felt ashamed and intimidated in Castiel's eyes, who just looked away.

"What the hell are you doing there?"

"I wanted to sit here for a while and I figured you wanted to come with me to analyze the bathroom decor." Dean smiled sarcastically, Castiel grimaced and turned around to close the door. "No! Wait..."

"Yes?" Castiel asked innocently and took the opportunity once again to look at Dean's body, this was torture.

"I need help getting up." Dean looked down, without saying anything. Castiel approached and took Dean's hands to help him stand up. When he stood on his two feet, he groaned and almost fell again, but Castiel stopped him. He took her by the waist. "I don't think I can walk."

"You've got to be kidding me," Castiel said but seeing the expression of frustration on Dean's face, he let out a sigh, not caring about getting soaked he took Dean into his arms, holding his legs and his back.

"Wow, what are you doing?" Dean asked, wrapping his arms around Castiel's neck for fear of falling. Dean couldn't feel more embarrassed, Castiel had him in his arms while he was soaked and naked. The older man didn't respond, he just left the bathroom and took Dean to his room, carefully placed him on his bed and left the room.

Dean looked at him perplexed, that had been very kind of him. Castiel came back and threw a towel over his face, Dean took it off and looked at Castiel.

"Get dressed, you have to go to the doctor." Without letting Dean protest, Castiel closed the door and let out a big sigh, that boy drove him crazy.

As best he could, Dean got dressed and left his room on one leg. When Castiel saw him, he immediately stood up and helped him get to the couch.

"I called Dr. Stevenson, he shouldn't take long to arrive." Castiel said standing in front of Dean.

"Did you call a doctor? Do you know what that will cost me?" Dean looked at him surprised, he couldn't even afford to pay for a private doctor with home service on Sunday, plus the medicine he would send him.

"Of course I know, he's my doctor." Castiel shrugged, there was a knock on the door before Dean objected.

Dr. Stevenson said Dean had suffered a second-degree sprain, so his ankle would be immobilized for at least three or four weeks. Dean regretted being so clumsy, while he did this Castiel paid the doctor and walked him to the door.

"I can't believe you paid, how much do I owe you?" Dean said guiltily.

"Nothing." Castiel shrugged. "I'm going to get your medicine."

"Don't be stupid, tell me how much it is." Dean insisted.

"I already told you no." Castiel answered.

"I can't let you pay for me, I'm the one injured."

"If you can, because you are a fool." Castiel walked towards the door.

"Castiel, I'm serious." Dean frowned. "You shouldn't have to pay anything for me."

"Money is no problem," he shrugged and opened the door.

"Wait." Castiel stopped and looked at Dean. "If you don't want money, let me make it up to you in another way, I can't sit idly by."

"Whatever?" Castiel asked, raising his eyebrows. Dean nodded, thinking that maybe he could prepare his favorite food or something. Castiel showed him a mischievous smile. "Maybe there's something I'd like to do to you...

"You're a pervert." Dean replied indignantly. "I was talking about cooking you something or cleaning the apartment for a whole month."

Castiel didn't say anything else and left the apartment. Dean sank into the couch and crossed his arms, he didn't know how he would go to college or how he would get around. He couldn't ask his parents for money either, he would have to explain to them that he is a lazy idiot who now had a sprain, they weren't very happy since Sam's flight incident. He let out a sigh and insulted himself once again.

He thought about Castiel, he had been very kind today, but he was still very confused, he missed Dave but he still didn't know what was happening between the two of them, he used to repeat to himself that he was getting excited, Castiel was very distant and had never given him a word. reason to think he had feelings for Dean. Only kisses.

But Dean felt strange when he was with Castiel, he liked being close to him, that his eyes met even if they weren't talking, that he said his name, he liked to see him smile, he enjoyed even the slightest contact with him. He kept telling himself that he was only physically attracted to Castiel because of the kisses, that this was only temporary. Maybe if he went out with other guys again that feeling would go away. But what if he didn't leave? Dean panicked and decided to think about his new problem, his sprain.

Chapter Text

Having an ankle immobilized is the stupidest thing that could have happened to him, Lee had agreed to pick up Dean at his apartment every day to go to class, he always made fun of his friend a little and called him bitter. And he couldn't deny it, he felt upset with himself because of his ankle, he couldn't do many things on his own and that drove him crazy, sometimes the only thing that made him smile was knowing that Castiel helped him with everything he wanted, He always asked him if he was okay, helped him get to bed, to the shower, anything Dean asked of him.

"Take care, Dean," Sid said through Lee's car window.

"Don't forget that tomorrow after school we are going to celebrate you, silly." Lee said from the driver's seat, Dean rolled his eyes and nodded. Lee had insisted on throwing a small birthday party for Dean with all of his classmates, Dean hadn't been very enthusiastic about the idea, as he would be sitting through the entire party while everyone danced and drank, in the end he had only agreed because he knew that His friend would want any excuse to party and be with Sid.
He went up to his apartment by the elevator, leaning on his crutches waiting to reach his floor, when he left he met Ash.

"Dude, what happened to you?" Ash asked when he saw him leave the elevator.

"I had an accident in the shower." Dean shook his head, Ash laughed.

"I can imagine, how did you get out of there?" Ash frowned.

"Castiel had to help me." Dean nodded, Ash raised his eyebrows.

"Castiel?" Dean nodded.-I thought you guys weren't talking to each other.

"Actually we talk to each other from time to time, he's not as evil as I thought." Dean shrugged his shoulders, no one knew that Castiel and him were suddenly sharing kisses or that they watched movies together until they fell asleep on the couch. "He's a good roommate."

Ash seemed quite surprised at my words, he said goodbye, excusing himself that he would be late for class, I nodded and walked down the hallway to get to my apartment, Castiel had not arrived yet and today he would have classes until late so he had the apartment to himself all day. late.

Friday morning went too fast, now they were on their way to Lee's apartment to prepare for the party, Dean hadn't had the chance to tell Cas that he would be a little late, he hadn't seen him at night or this morning. Dean promised himself that when he got to Lee's apartment, he would text him. But he completely forgot.

"I want to make a toast  for Dean." Lee spoke once he had the attention of everyone in the room. "That even though tomorrow is his birthday, he deserves to celebrate it today, Dean, you are one of my best friends, my partner in crime literally speaking"  Dean was smiling at his friend's words, they had known each other since they were children and meeting him at the university was incredible. "They arrested us for swimming half naked in the park fountain at midnight." Lee said and everyone laughed. "For Dean, who Despite being crippled, he is celebrating his birthday."

Everyone raised their drinks and took a swig, the music started playing in the room again and the lights turned dim, Dean was talking to Cindy, a girl from his European Cooking class. Sometimes they sat together and shared notes, talking about food from different countries they would like to visit, Lee interrupted them and forced Dean to take a shot of tequila. That's when the disaster began. Dean took 19 shots of tequila in honor of his upcoming 19th birthday, Lee sat him down in a chair and they started giving him different types of drinks, while Dean just listened to Sid saying that this was a terrible idea.

After three in the morning, Dean remembered Castiel and began to miss him, as if he had not seen him in a long time, he tried to use his cell phone to talk to him but he was too drunk to be able to write on his cell phone, as he could He stood up and walked to the kitchen, where Sid and Lee were kissing.

"Finally!" Dean shouted, stammering, Sid blushed and Lee smiled. "Hey, I...I need to talk to Cas, someone call..."

"Why do you want to talk to him? " Sid asked, Dean began to stagger on his crutches and fell to the floor because he didn't have the strength to support himself. "Dean!"

His friends ran to help him, now Dean had a bruise on his right cheekbone and forehead, he would have a bad headache later.

"I'm fine..." Dean smiled when they helped him sit on the floor. "It didn't hurt..."

"Okay buddy, I think it's time to sleep." Lee said looking at Dean.

"I wanna go home." Dean said looking at his friends. "I wanna see Cas..."

"Dean, it's better that you stay," Sid said, stroking his friend's back in circles.

"No," he said, shaking his head from side to side. "I wanna leave, I want to be with him... I wanna talk to him."

"Woah." Sid squatted in front of Dean and forced him to look her in the eyes. "Dean, are you aware of what you're saying?"

"Yes, I want to go home," he repeated once.

"Dean, do you have feelings for Cas?" Sid asked, they hadn't had a chance to talk about it, so he didn't know what decision his friend had made regarding Dave.

"Sid, he's totally drunk," Lee said, pointing at Dean. "I don't think he understands what you're saying."

"I... I don't know." Dean pointed to Sid. "I want to be with him."

Lee and Sid were thinking of tricking Dean into falling asleep so he could rest but Dean was persistent, even when drunk he was still stubborn, he kept repeating that he needed to see Castiel, so Lee decided to take him home so he could finally close mouth.

Getting out of the car, Sid opened the door to the building and Lee helped Dean inside, practically dragging Dean since he was dead weight. When they arrived at his apartment, they opened the door to the apartment while Dean continued mumbling nonsensical things. Upon entering the apartment, everything was completely silent and dark.

"DON'T STOP ME NOOOWWW." Dean began to sing loudly, Sid silenced him and a door was heard opening, Castiel appeared in his pajamas in the hallway, he frowned and looked at the three friends.

"Castiel," Sid said, drawing his attention, he gave him a small embarrassed smile and Lee raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry if we woke you up, it's just that Dean was very insistent on coming home..."

"Where was he? -He asked, looking at Dean completely drunk, he had bruises on his face and a huge bruise on his neck that Castiel would prefer not to know who the author was.

"His birthday party." Lee spoke.

"Was it his birthday?" Castiel asked surprised.

"No, it's today actually." Sid smiled and Castiel felt.

"Cas..." Dean said more asleep than awake. "I was late...I'm sorry."

"Time for bed, Dean." Lee walked into the hallway and looked at Castiel for direction.

"The door on the right." Castiel pointed, Lee nodded and took Dean away.

"They let him get drunk knowing he can't move on his own?" Castiel asked once Lee disappeared down the hallway, frowning and crossing his arms.

"I... I didn't know, when I saw him he was totally drunk." Sid shrugged his shoulders, he felt terrible. "I should have watched him all night but I saw him calm, I didn't think that..."

"It's okay, the important thing is that he's home." Castiel nodded and Sid let out the air he was holding in his lungs.

Lee appeared down the hallway, catching the attention of Castiel and Sydney.

"Is he asleep?" Sid asked, Lee shook his head.

"He wants to see you," he told Castiel, Sid exchanged glances with Lee.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Sid said nervously. "Dean is quite drunk, he gets very... flirtatious..."

"I'll take care of it." Castiel spoke nonchalantly. "They should return home, it's already late."

"Yes, uhm... we're leaving." Sid said smiling and they said goodbye leaving the apartment.

Castiel walked to Dean's room and saw him sitting on the rug looking out the small window of his room.

"Dean, how did you get there?" Castiel got on his knees and approached Dean.

"I fell out of bed," he said, babbling while still looking at the window.

"Let's put you to bed." Castiel touched his shoulder and Dean looked at him.

"No, sit with me." Dean smiled at him and Castiel thought he looked like a mess, he took a seat next to him without saying anything and they looked at the buildings in front along with the dark sky with two lonely stars, Dean rested his head on the Castiel's shoulder and decided not to say anything.

Dean shifted in bed and turned his back to the light coming through the window, but when he put his face against the pillow he let out a moan. He opened his eyes with difficulty and touched his cheek, he let out another moan and sat up as best he could, teething on the bed. He felt terrible, his head was going to explode, he was dizzy, half his face and his back hurt.
He was quite disoriented, he was trying to remember what he had done yesterday apart from classes, his cell phone interrupted his thoughts and he was startled, they were his parents, they were calling him on a video call.

"Hello?" Dean said, opening his eyes to see better, his voice was hoarse.

"Happy Birthday!" His parents shouted on the other side of the screen, Dean tried to smile, managing only to grimace. Today was his birthday... which meant that yesterday he had been at his party hosted by Sid and Lee.

"Dean, what happened to your face?" His mother asked, worried about him. Dean frowned and looked at himself through the small box on the call where his face appeared, his cheekbone looked dark, but his forehead looked worse...

"I... I hit a door." Dean shrugged his shoulders, his parents didn't know he had hurt his ankle and he didn't even know how he had gotten those hits. "My arms were busy and I couldn't. stop it..."

"You're not getting into trouble, are you?" His father spoke with a firm tone, Dean wanted to roll his eyes, his father thought that because he liked parties he was a savage.

"No, I'm serious." His parents began to talk about living alone and being responsible, then cut the call saying he was busy cooking.

As best he could, he got out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash his face. It was quite difficult to stay upright if he didn't have the strength in his arms to lean on the crutches. He came to the living room and fell on the couch, he hated not remembering things, and where was Castiel? He asked himself, annoyed, it was already more than noon and he should already be here sitting in front of his computer.
As if he had summoned him, the door opened and Castiel appeared with many grocery bags.

"Ugh you look terrible." Castiel looked at him and frowned.

"But you look good..." Dean inspected him from head to toe. He wore tight black pants and a short-sleeved shirt with black and white vertical stripes, he always wore his classic black converse worn but always impeccable.

"How do you feel?" Castiel entered the kitchen to organize the pantry where he had to go.

"As if they had hit me, did I get into a fight?"

"With the floor, according to Sydney," Castiel said as he continued organizing.

"How did I get here?"

"Your friends brought you here at four in the morning." Castiel stopped and turned to Dean. "Thank you for making me get up early."

"I'm sorry..." Dean smiled guilty. "I don't remember anything, I hope I haven't lost my dignity."

"You didn't do anything you wouldn't have done sober." Castiel shrugged and left the kitchen.

After eating cereal for breakfast and taking a cocktail of pain and inflammation medicine, Dean responded to all the messages that his friends had sent him to congratulate him. Charlie and Benny came to the apartment to deliver him some cookies from one of the best bakeries on the block according to Benny, they joked about his ankle injury and his face.

Afterwards he spoke to Sid, who told him everything that had happened the night before, she and Lee seemed to have decided to take another step in their friendship. Dean was so happy for her and they talked about it most of the afternoon. Apparently Lee decided to make the first move at Dean's party and tomorrow they would talk about what was going on between the two. Dean made Sid promise to tell him everything.

Around 6 pm Castiel opened the doors of the bar that led to the kitchen and looked at Dean, the blonde was typing on his cell phone while he smiled, Castiel cleared his throat and Dean looked at him.

"The food is ready," Castiel said.

"What did you order?" Dean asked.

"I did it." Dean smiled and raised his eyebrows. Castiel came out of the kitchen and helped Dean to the table. He served her spaghetti covered with tomato sauce, cheese and spices. -I'm not the Chef here but I think she is decent...

"I'll judge that." Dean joked and ate a bite of the spaghetti, it didn't taste bad at all, maybe it lacked a little salt but it was definitely good. "It's good."

"You don't have to lie," Castiel clarified, chewing the spaghetti.

"I'm serious, I've never had spaghetti like that, I like it." Dean spoke with his mouth full and nodded.

They ate in silence until it was time for dessert, Castiel put an apple pie on the table, it was one of Dean's favorites, but he didn't understand why the good treatment, was he dreaming? Or had something terrible happened and Cas was cushioning the blow? No, he wouldn't do that. He would tell her directly.

"So... what's the occasion?" Dean asked, eating the foot.

"It's your birthday, fool," Castiel told him, being obvious.

"How did you know that?" Maybe because Benny and Charlie knew it, but he had gone to get the pantry and the cake before they arrived. Castiel shrugged. “Did Sam tell you?”

"No." Castiel continued eating, Dean frowned and continued staring at Castiel. "Just eat your pie and stop looking at me."

"Did you cook for me?" Dean's voice came out almost like a whisper.

"Huh?" Castiel asked, taking a bite of cake, looking at him.

"Did you cook for my birthday?" Dean repeated out loud. Castiel looked at him without raising his head, making Dean smile. Cas tried not to smile. "That's very nice."

Dean knew Cas wasn't good at talking about things, so he changed the subject and tried to lighten the mood. Castiel thanked him internally, after finishing eating, Castiel helped Dean to the couch.

"Oh, using those things leaves your arms sore." Dean complained, pointing to his crutches.

"You have to get used to it, you'll be using them for a while," Castiel pointed out.

"I hate them, they make me feel more worthless." Dean grimaced.

"You're not useless." Castiel frowned. "Stop saying that."

"That's how I feel."

"Are you saying that people who lack limbs are useless?"

"No, no." Dean quickly denied. "Not at all, I admire his spirit but I don't feel productive, it's hard for me to do things by myself and that makes me feel bad."

"It'll only be two or three more weeks." Castiel shrugged. "You should enjoy having people worry about you."

"Should I take advantage?" Dean raised his eyebrows.

"I didn't say that."

"Do you think I'm taking advantage of you?"

"No, I help you because I want it."

Dean smiled and as he could he approached Castiel who was in the other corner of the couch, for the first time in a long time Castiel had a meaningless conversation, they talked about everything and laughed.
At some point during the night they stared at each other in silence, they got lost in each other's eyes forgetting that they were having a conversation, Castiel caressed Dean's cheek who let out a moan, his blow still hurt, Dean began to approach Castiel, who Without thinking twice he gave Dean a short kiss on the lips.

"Happy Birthday." Castiel said in a whisper as he broke the kiss, Dean still with his eyes closed processing that the kiss was over.

Dean felt It was getting harder and harder to get away from Cas's lips.

Chapter Text

The week was wild, Dean barely slept between projects and tasks, he didn't even have time to interact with his friends, he didn't know anything about what had happened at his birthday party.
On Thursday night he had fallen asleep on the couch while reading, Castiel always insisted that he go to his room so he wouldn't have to move but Dean always said that he preferred to study on the couch since it brought him more luck, but the truth was reason was that he just wanted to be close to Castiel, it sounded corny and silly but it was the truth, even if he didn't admit it out loud.

When he opened his eyes, Castiel was carrying him in his arms. Dean took those seconds to admire Castiel, unable to hide a smile that escaped his lips.

"What's so funny?" Castiel said, meeting his eyes.

"Nothing." Dean shook his head and looked away, when he laid him on his bed their gazes met again. "Thank you..."

"You're welcome." Castiel made a face as if he were going to smile but he stopped, turned around and left the room.

When the weekend came, Dean thought he could finally rest and have a few quiet days but as always, he was wrong.

On Saturday afternoon there was a knock at the door, Dean was on the couch drinking coffee and Castiel stood up to open the door, a blonde man with blue eyes with a sarcastic smile entered the apartment along with him came a boy no older than 6 years old, Castiel came behind with an unfriendly face.

"You must be Castiel's boyfriend" The man turned to Dean, who looked at him confused. "Michael isn't very happy with you." The man looked at the bandage on his ankle and his blows on his face, he grimaced. "And apparently Castiel didn't either... he didn't know he liked to hit."

"Oh no, I..." Dean didn't know how to explain that he was just an idiot with bad luck."I had an accident..."

"Castiel was your accident?" The man joked, raising an eyebrow.

"What are you doing here, Lucifer?" Castiel spoke, drawing his attention. "I haven't seen you in three years."

"I came to talk to you." Lucifer shrugged his shoulders, the boy pulled his father's shirt.

"Daddy, I'm thirsty," the boy said, making Dean smile because of how cute he looked.

"In a moment Jack." Lucifer said.-Daddy is in the middle of something.

"Daddy?" Castiel frowned. "Is he your son?"

"Surprise," Lucifer said, he squatted down and looked at the boy. "Jack, this is your uncle Castiel, he's bitter and that's why we don't visit him."

"Since when do you have a child?" Castiel is really indignant. "Who dared to have a child with you?"

"How old are you, friend?" Lucifer said to Jack, he made the number 6 with his fingers. "For 6 years."

"And where is his mother?" Castiel attacked. "I can't believe I trusted you to take care of a child."

"Cas..." Dean called out to him, Castiel looked at Dean and his gaze softened a little. "I don't want to get into your business but... Jack shouldn't see them fighting."

"True." Castiel pressed the top of the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Can you take care of Jack while I talk to my brother?"

"Sure." Dean nodded, Lucifer looked at his son and then at Dean.

"Jack, daddy needs to talk to your uncle." Lucifer took the little boy's shoulder. "Stay with your uncle's boyfriend, while I return."

"Yes." Jack nodded and took a seat next to Dean. "Hello."

"Hello, how are you?" Dean asked, smiling.

"Good." Jack started playing with his hands. "Daddy said that Uncle Castiel was special."

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't like to talk."

"No?" Dean wanted to laugh because that was so true.

"No, but since you are here." Jack settled on the sofa. "He's not going to be angry."

"Uncle Cas is just my friend." Dean clarified and Jack seemed disconcerted. "Better tell me, what is your favorite color?"

"Yellow."Jack smiled. "Yours?"

"I... it has to be the blue one." Dean nodded thoughtfully, Castiel's blue eyes came to his mind and he smiled stupidly, suddenly he was 12 years old again.

Lucifer and Castiel appeared down the hallway, Dean looked at his partner hoping to find some response on his face but as always his expressionless look didn't help much.

"Lucifer and Jack will stay to eat." Castiel said entering the kitchen.

"Wait!" Dean shouted and Castiel looked over the bar. "I'll cook."

"You can't stand up, how are you going to do that?" Castiel told him.

"I'm going to guide you." Dean smiled and Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," Castiel said, he left the kitchen and walked towards Dean.

"Long live the couple" Lucifer smiled and clapped slightly for Dean. He opened his mouth to answer but Castiel helped him stand up before he could answer.

He reached the kitchen with the help of his crutches and took a seat in a chair in front of the stove. Castiel walked over to the bar to close the floodgates, as he needed some privacy with Dean.

"Don't do anything perverted, remember that there is a child here." Lucifer spoke from the couch, Castiel rolled his eyes once again and Dean blushed. "Wait little buddy..."

Jack walked into the kitchen and looked at the two men, Dean looked over his shoulder at him.

"What's wrong Jack?" Dean said.

"Could you give me juice?" Jack said a little shyly, Dean smiled at how cute he looked and turned his gaze to Cas.

"There must be apple juice on the counter in the corner." Castiel nodded and opened the counter taking out the juice, he handed the juice to Jack.

"Thank you Uncle Cas." Jack ran out of the kitchen and Dean laughed.

"Your nephew is very cute," Dean said, catching Castiel's gaze.

"Let's cook," Castiel said, turning around looking at the stove.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I was thinking maybe carrot cream..." Cas turned around and looked at Dean.

"Not a bad idea." Dean smiled at him. "Maybe we could make eggplant parmesan."

"Do we have eggplants?" Castiel raised an eyebrow.

"We have everything, I always make sure to buy everything I can for my recipes and projects."

"Okay, let's start then."

Dean guided Castiel on how to prepare the carrot cream from scratch while at the same time helping him with everything he could from the table, he liked watching Castiel cook and even more so if it was with his help.
He took advantage of everything he could to observe him without Castiel noticing, every time his eyes met Dean would blush and look away, but he also enjoyed that he noticed it, that he smiled at him and listened to him attentively.
He had never had a boyfriend or a formal relationship but he imagined that this was what a relationship was like and that excited him.

"The food is ready!" Dean shouted when Castiel opened the doors to the bar.

Lucifer and Jack turned off the TV and headed to the kitchen, Dean invited them to take a seat and they watched Castiel serve the carrot soup.

"It smells very good." Lucifer nodded as he looked at his plate.

Lucifer turned out to be a relaxed and somewhat joking guy, Dean thought he would be just like Michael but he was wrong. He didn't know the reason why he had visited Castiel nor why he had invited him to eat but he knew that he wouldn't get any answer from Castiel if he asked him, also it wasn't his business. After finishing dessert, Lucifer sent Jack to the couch to watch a movie while Castiel made coffee. Dean had a feeling that they would talk about something that maybe he shouldn't hear.

"We have to talk to Hannah and Michael." Lucifer said seriously, Dean shifted in his seat.

"They're not going to listen to you, they didn't do it to me." Castiel had his back turned, pouring a cup of coffee.

"I think I should let you talk." Dean was about to stand up but Lucifer stopped him.

"No man, you're Cas's boyfriend, you can help us." Lucifer smiled and Dean still didn't understand why Castiel's brother had been calling him that all day.

"I'm not..." Dean smiled nervously as he shook his head.

"No, Lucifer is right." Castiel turned around and stared at Dean. "You're very good at giving advice."

"It's the first time I've heard him say that." Lucifer laughed and Dean frowned without taking his eyes off Castiel. "Anyway, last week Gabriel moved a finger, that proves that he's still alive..."

"I know but it may just be a reflection." Castiel grimaced.

"But it's proof of life or something." Dean said, remembering the proposal he had given to Castiel. "Didn't you sign?"

"No, that's why I came to Castiel as soon as I knew he hadn't either." Lucifer nodded at Dean. "I don't want to give up on my brother."

"It's been 3 years and he's barely showing signs of life." Castiel sat down and drank some coffee. "I don't know what's right."

"If we disconnected him and he was starting to wake up we would be killing him." Lucifer grimaced.

"We don't know if that machine is the only thing keeping him alive, we wouldn't be letting him rest," Castiel said.

"Have you thought about a second opinion? " Dean caught the brothers' attention. "Maybe another doctor has a different diagnosis."

"Gabriel has obtained more than five different opinions over the years." Castiel clarified. "Nothing has changed."

"It never hurts." Dean shrugged.

They debated the topic for a few more minutes and then Lucifer excused himself by standing up when he received a call. Dean waited for the older man to disappear from the kitchen to question Castiel.

"Are we dating now?" Dean said in a whisper. "Why does your brother think that?"

"Michael must be responsible," Castiel said in a whisper.

"Aren't you going to make it clear to him that we are nothing?"

"No, it's better this way."

"Like why?" Dean crossed his arms.

-Michael hates me because I'm gay." Castiel began to list with his fingers. "Last time you got on his nerves and we lived together, it's the perfect excuse for him not to talk to me and neither does Hannah."

"And why are you involving me in this?" Dean frowned. "You haven't asked me if I agree with them thinking we're dating."

"Do you agree?" Castiel stared at Dean, the bruises on his face were still visible and he hated seeing his neck marked like that, knowing that someone else had been with him or on him, that made his blood boiled.

"No." Dean shook his head.

"Do you want to be my fake boyfriend?" Castiel asked.

"No, lies are never good." Of course he didn't like him, Castiel thought, Dean at first glance seemed like a wild boy but outside of relationships he was a self-righteous man.

"Do you want to be my real boyfriend?"

"It was Kelly, Jack's mother." Lucifer entered the kitchen and took a seat next to Castiel. "You and her would be great friends, you are both unbearable."

Dean and Castiel looked away, Dean looked down thinking about the black-haired man's question while Castiel glared at his older brother.

"You're an idiot," Castiel said.

"You see? She looks at me and says exactly the same thing." Lucifer joked.

They talked about contacting another doctor and getting their brothers together so they could talk about the possibility of not disconnecting Gabriel. When ten o'clock struck, Lucifer said goodbye and went to his hotel with Jack, when Castiel and Dean sat down in the room. sofa, they let out a sigh.

"Jack is a good boy," Dean said smiling.

"I'm worried that that idiot is his father."

They were a little uncomfortable so they each went to his room and didn't talk the rest of the night. Dean woke up in the early morning when he heard moans, he got up a little scared and knocked on Castiel's door as best he could.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, not hearing an answer as best he could, he opened the door to Castiel's room and saw him asleep but he sounded restless. He approached the bed and touched his shoulder in hopes of waking him up. "Cas, wake up..."

"Uhh." Castiel opened his eyes and looked around until he found Dean. "What are you doing here? You can't sleep?"

"I think I'm the one who should ask that, are you okay?" Dean touched Castiel's forehead.

"I... I had a bad dream..."

"Have you taken your medicine?" Dean asked as his hand traveled down Castiel's face.

"No..."

"And why not?"

"I forgot." Castiel shrugged.

"Cas, if you know that this has consequences for you, you shouldn't forget it." Dean's hand rested on Castiel's chest.

"I have a lot of things on my mind." Castiel looked at the ceiling. "It's impossible to remember everything."

"I imagine so." Dean made a face. "Do you want me to bring your medicine?"

"No, I'll do it, wait for me here." Castiel stood up and ran out of the room. In less than a minute he returned with the bottle of pills and a glass of water. When he took a seat on the bed, he put the pill in. to his mouth and drank some water.

"I'm leaving, so you can sleep." Dean was about to stand up but Castiel stopped him.

"I can't go back to sleep..." The older man's eyes seemed mortified, Dean felt sorry for him.

"We can watch a movie while you catch up on sleep." Castiel nodded and they went to the couch to watch some cartoon movie.

They were sitting on the couch with a blanket that barely covered them, they had to get closer to each other to cover themselves, Dean was the first to fall asleep with Castiel's arm on his shoulders, then Castiel watched him for a few minutes before his Eyelids closed heavily, the movie was about to end but they were already completely asleep.

Dean woke up for a few seconds and looked at Castiel next to him. He didn't know how they had ended up on top of each other. Castiel was asleep on his back while Dean was on his left side using Castiel's chest as a pillow. Dean decided to sleep for another few minutes. turned into two hours by accident.
There was a knock on the door and they both woke up suddenly, they looked at each other for a few seconds and Castiel stood up to open the door, Dean sat up on the couch and stretched, he was sore and his ankle hurt a lot, it had been a very bad idea. sleeping on a couch with an injured ankle.

"It was Kevin." Castiel said with a hoarser voice than normal. Dean smiled when he heard it. "He got our mail by accident."

"What time is it?" Dean still had his eyes squinted in the light.

"Half a day," Castiel said looking at his cell phone.

"Wow, we slept a lot." Dean stretched again.

"I slept very well," Castiel said.

"Same, only now everything hurts."

"Me too." The two complained.

"A hot shower will do." Dean smiled as he reached for his crutches.

"Together?" Castiel made a grinning face and Dean looked at him evilly. "I'm trying to save water."

Castiel was the first to take a shower to cook while Dean showered, when he was in the kitchen there was a knock on the door once again, Castiel thought it would be Kevin with more correspondence but he was surprised to see Dave in front of him. They both had the same expression when they saw the other, displeasure.

"What do you want?" Castiel asked, crossing his arms.

"Is Dean there?" Dave said sharply, Castiel understood the guy, if he was also dating someone and then saw him kissing his roommate he would hate him too.

"No." Yes, he lied but it was for a good reason.

"Tell him I came to look for him." Dave looked at him distantly. "We need to talk"

"I'll tell him." Before Dave could say anything Castiel slammed the door in his face, his reason for lying was that he knew he had hurt Dean and Castiel knew it was his fault but I didn't want that guy.

When Dean came out of the shower they ate while talking, they watched cowboy movies all afternoon and at night Dean received a message from Charlie.

"Did Dave come?" Dean asked Castiel who cocked his head. "Charlie sent me a message."

"Oh, right." Castiel rolled his eyes. "He came a few hours ago but you were taking a shower."

"Did he say something to you?"

"No, he wanted to talk to you." Castiel didn't take his eyes off the television.

"And you forgot to tell me?!"

"I was distracted." He shrugged, Dean didn't waste any more time and sent him a message, Castiel hated that his privacy was invaded but he couldn't help but look at the conversation on Dean's cell phone more than once.
They kept up casual messages, until Castiel wished he hadn't read that message.

"Could we try again? Go out?"

Dean stood up and went to his room as best he could, ignoring Castiel. He was shocked by the message and had to talk to Sid.

"And what are you going to do?" Sid asked on the other end of the call.

"I don't know, so many things have happened that I haven't been able to think about Dave." Dean let out a sigh and closed his eyes. "What would you do?"

"It's difficult." Sid paused. "Two options, one, I would spend time with both of them to see who suits me, or two, I would agree to go out with Dave and forget about Castiel."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm going to be honest with you and I'm telling you this because I'm your friend." Sid took a different tone of voice than usual. "Castiel is a gorgeous boy but having something with him won't bring anything good, because they live together and because of how I feel. You've told me what it is, I wouldn't hesitate to break your heart or use you."

"Ouch, thanks friend," Dean said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry but it's not about telling you what you want to hear, but rather what is best for you."

"Since when did you become so wise?"

"When things get serious."

"So I should agree to go out with Dave?"

"Don't take it as an obligation, Dean." He could feel that his friend was grimacing.  "It's advice and if you're no longer interested in Dave you should tell him but be aware of the consequences of being with Castiel."

"I need to think about it..." They were silent for a few seconds. "I'm going out with Dave and if Castiel doesn't give me a sign, I'll forget everything that's happened."

Hopefully this works, because Dean was so confused that he didn't know if it was worth being between two guys.

Dean agreed to go out with Dave on Saturday, they would spend the day at home because Dean couldn't get around that easily, Castiel had been distant all week, he barely looked at him when Dean asked for help getting around, he supposed he had problems with his brothers and he preferred not to get involved in their drama.

Chapter Text

On Friday night Castiel helped Dean to the bed, once again without looking at him or speaking to him, when the older man was about to walk away Dean managed to grab his arm and pull him to take a seat.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked while Castiel looked at his slippers. "Do you have news about your brothers?"

"Everything is fine," Castiel said, making a face, of course nothing was fine, Castiel told himself, Dean would see that guy and forget about him.

"You sure?" Dean tried to meet Castiel's gaze. "You've been very serious."

"As if you don't know how I am."Castiel shook his head.

"You know you can talk to me." Dean caressed Castiel's shoulder."You're not alone in this."

Castiel finally looked him in the eyes, those green orbs looking genuinely concerned for him. He was an idiot to Dean, he didn't deserve good treatment from him, Castiel clenched his jaw, if you don't say anything by this time tomorrow who's going to be in his bed will be Dave, that voice was getting louder.

Castiel looked at the ceiling of the room as if trying to find answers, when he lowered his gaze the blonde continued to observe him attentively, it's now or never Castiel, he told himself.
Castiel wanted to beg Dean to forget about Dave but the words got stuck in his throat, he had always been bad at talking, words weren't Castiel's thing, that made his actions give something to talk about.

"I..." Castiel said and Dean looked at him expectantly, Castiel grabbed Dean's cheeks and gave him a slow, soft kiss, before Dean could breathe Castiel fled from the room.

Dean was baffled, all week he had ignored him and now he was kissing him again, maybe this was just a game for Castiel, but what scared Dean the most was that this kiss had been different, it had felt strange, like a current would have flowed from his lips to his stomach, which made his hands sweaty and his feet tingle. He had kissed him and was gone, Dean fell back onto his pillow with a worried frown.

His mind tormented him all night, he managed to get a few hours of sleep and his ankle didn't help at all, they had shared many kisses, why would this one be any different? Dean wondered, probably because Castiel had been soft, that wasn't normal for him, he always kissed him rough, hungry and hard, his head was spinning thinking about that, he waited for dawn to send a message to Sid.

"He kissed me"

"First of all, good morning > :(

out of nowhere?"  She replied after 5 minutes.

"He kissed me and ran away from my room.
He acted very strange"

"Maybe he doesn't want you to be with Dave." Dean felt butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

"He just wants your attention."

Dean grimaced and laboriously stood up to take a shower, he knew Sid was probably right. Opening the door to his room, the smell of Castiel's cologne invaded his nostrils, the door to his room was ajar, Castiel stepped out and looked at Dean. Castiel was wearing a navy blue turtleneck sweater along with some worn jeans, he had them folded above the ankle and he was wearing black boots that reached his ankle. In his hand he carried his khaki coat. After looking at it carefully, his gaze returned to Castiel's eyes. Castiel.

"Are you going out?" Dean asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Yes, I don't want to be third wheel." Castiel made a face trying to smile. Dean looked away with a nod.

"See you later then." Dean looked back at Castiel, the older man nodded and walked down the hallway. Dean stood still listening as the apartment door opened and closed in a matter of seconds.

Dean took a shower and dressed casually, maybe they would talk for a while and then watch movies, a part of him had been excited all week, he wanted to see Dave, but now he didn't know what he wanted, he kept telling himself that Castiel was a whim. his, but then he wondered how true that was. While he was eating breakfast his gaze was fixed on the wall, the apartment was silent, but his mind was being very noisy, like when the radio has static, he got lost in his world for what seemed like a few minutes, but he had spent an hour sitting there.

Dave arrived two hours later, around 2:30 pm, the boy was radiant as always, had a charming smile and was carrying a bottle of white wine. Dean greeted him with a smile, they gave each other a small hug and walked over to the couch so Dean wouldn't have to stand for too long.

"How have you been?" Dean asked, settling down on the couch to see Dave better.

"Well, I've been improving my grades at university." Dave nodded.  "What about you?"

"Well, removing my sprain." Dean pointed to his ankle. "I think everything has been good, I'm getting to know the city." Nothing has been good, the only place I'm knowing is hell, but of course Dean couldn't tell him that since it was Cas and that was something taboo.

"How have you been doing with your roommate?" Dave finally asked the most anticipated question. Dean pursed his lips and thought of a way to answer that.

"Everything's fine." Dean nodded. "Castiel is dating some people."

"Oh really?" Dave raised his eyebrows, Dean knew what he had told Cas about lying, but this was for the good of Dave and Dean's friendship. "And you're not thinking about kissing him in front of his date?"

"You are very funny." Dean knew Dave was playing, but there was annoyance, maybe jealousy, in his voice. "Better tell me about your Christmas vacation."

Dean managed to change the subject and internally thanked himself for that, the last thing he wanted at this moment was to talk about Castiel and even less with Dave. They ordered pizza while watching a series, for a few hours Dean was able to distract himself, when the pizza arrived they went to the kitchen although Dave had told them to stay on the couch, but Dean knew that he couldn't let that couch get stained, since he knew perfectly sure that Castiel would kill him, they accompanied the pizza with white wine and joked about the elegance of having wine with pizza, when it was getting dark Dave ordered a pie for dessert although Dean had offered to pay for it, Dave refused.
Dean excused himself to go to the bathroom, he needed to cool his face if he didn't want to fall asleep, as soon as Dean disappeared down the hallway, there was a knock on the door, Dave stood up thinking it was the cake, but when he opened the door he was shocked. He found Lucifer, who frowned when he saw Dave.

"You are not my brother." Lucifer said, pointing at him with his index finger, the older man looked at the hallway and then at the number on the door. "But this is his apartment, where is Castiel or Dean?"

"Uhm, I'm Dave, Dean's date." Dave nodded smiling, Lucifer remained motionless with his mouth open. "He's in the bathroom, but he shouldn't be long..."

"Dean's date?" Lucifer interrupted, Dave nodded, the older man shook his head. "That son of a bitch..."

"Excuse me?" Dave frowned. "Friend, I'm going to ask you to leave or else..."

"That son of a bitch is cheating on my brother..." Lucifer ignored him, entering the apartment before Dave could stop him.

"Cheating?" Dave said as he walked behind Lucifer, the older man looked around for Dean, on the coffee table in front of the couch he spotted two glasses of wine, Lucifer looked at Dave again.

"He didn't told you." Lucifer shook his head. "I always thought Castiel would be the unfaithful one."

"Lucifer?" Dean spoke from the hallway, this looked bad, very bad. "What are you doing here?"

"Being part of Cheaters." Lucifer looked at Dean, now he seemed to be Michael and Castiel's brother, in his eyes it seemed like hell was burning. "Now you are deceiving my brother, in his own house! I'll break your fingers one by one while I make Dave watch it and then break his fingers."

"What the hell?" Dave looked at Lucifer perturbed.

"It's not what it seems." Dean tried to explain. "It's a very curious story..."

"It's not what it seems?" Dave spoke crossing his arms. "It seems to me that you are cheating on Castiel with me."

"No, not Dave, just listen to me." Dean pleaded, now he had two men furious with him waiting for an explanation that not even he knew how to give, he was confused and hated having to do this alone, he wanted Castiel to appear through that door and help him, but that wouldn't happen.
Those men could hit him in revenge, he was defenseless and without a good argument. -Castiel and I are just roommates, there is nothing between us...

"You are a cynic and look who is telling you that." Lucifer spoke, Dean looked at him irritated.

"Castiel lied to you." Dean said desperately. "I had nothing to do with that."

"I'm not going to listen to this." Dave took his coat that was on the couch.

"Dave, don't go." Dean pleaded, Dave walked to the door and looked at him.

"Sorry Dean, but I already know how this story ends." Without further ado, Dave left the apartment, closing the door behind him, thinking that this would be the last time Dean would see him.

Dean reached the couch and plopped down, throwing his crutches on the carpet and closing his eyes, he was going to kill Castiel as soon as he saw him.

"I do want to hear the explanation." Lucifer spoke, Dean opened his eyes and looked at Castiel's older brother.

"Sit down, you need to listen carefully."

"You two are the strangest couple I've ever met." Lucifer shook his head as he chewed a bite of fruitcake and shifted on the couch.

"I already told you, we're not a couple." Dean shrugged his shoulders, he had given him a brief summary of what it was like to live with Castiel but apparently it was strange. He had barely touched his slice, he didn't feel like eating and he felt guilty for eating a pie that Dave had bought for the two of them and now he was sharing it with Castiel's older brother.

"Did it ever occur to you to say something to him?"

"Like what?"

"Why do you do it?" Lucifer shook his head making it obvious. 

"I don't think I've ever had a chance." Dean shrugged.

"You have to talk about it Dean." Lucifer looked Dean in the eyes, with the fork he pointed at him. "I know my brother and I know that he never takes anyone seriously, he has broken many hearts like that."

"But I... I don't feel... anything." Dean finished speaking in a whisper.

"Yes, and I'm the father of the year." Lucifer said sarcastically. Dean raised an eyebrow. "I saw you, how you looked at him while he spoke, how you smiled at him when he spoke to you, dude, you have to know what's going on between you two."

But deep down Dean was afraid, he didn't want to ruin his "coexistence" with Castiel because of a stupid question. Dean looked down for a few seconds and then looked back at Lucifer.

"Better tell me, what was Castiel like as a child?" Dean faked a smile and the older man snorted.

"He's always been a weirdo, a pain in the ass." Novak said mockingly. "He got the best grades, he never knew how to make friends and he loved to contradict everyone." Lucifer rolled his eyes remembering his younger brother, Dean smiled. snorting as he imagined a little Castiel and ate another bite of cake. "You heard him argue with Michael all the time but Gabriel was the one who defended him..." Lucifer paused looking at the small coffee table in front of him. "It was his defender, until... well, you know..." Dean frowned. Maybe Lucifer thought he knew what had happened. "That accident killed my family."

"It must have been very difficult, you were almost children..." Dean looked down, putting himself in the Novak's place, he couldn't live without his brother.

"We could never be." Lucifer raised an eyebrow, shaking his head. "Life can be very shitty but there is only one, isn't there?"

"I think so..." Dean nodded thoughtfully, he wanted to ask many things but unfortunately Lucifer received a call from Kelly complaining about him for disappearing for so long so he had to leave.

He stayed on the couch all night waiting for Castiel, he even slept there thinking he might be late but he never showed up. The weight of his eyelids overcame him and he fell deeply asleep on the couch while waiting for Castiel. He woke up in pain the next morning. It took him a while to remember what he was doing on the couch. Then he looked around, everything was in its place, it was still silent.

He grimaced and stood up to take a shower, he would have a busy day with the work he had to deliver during the week. As he left the bathroom he heard Castiel talking, he assumed he was on a phone call since he didn't hear another voice respond to him. While he was rocking on his crutches to get to his room he heard the conversation.

"It was a one night thing." Castiel answered, Dean raised an eyebrow. "We met at the bar I took you to a few weeks ago, he invited me to his apartment... In fact he asked me to try again." Dean stopped. at his door and continued listening to Castiel, he knew it was wrong to spy but he couldn't help it. "I couldn't invite him here, Dean was on his date... No, Meg wouldn't have been like gay porn... You know? Then we'll talk, I have to take a shower."

Before Dean could enter his room Castiel appeared in the hallway, approached Dean and opened his door for him, Dean took a few seconds to look at him but thanked him with a grimace that was intended to be a smile. He was no longer wearing his sweater or his coat, he was wearing a white t-shirt that allowed Dean to see Castiel's neck full of bruises, his hair was messy and Dean felt a pang of jealousy.

"How...was your date?" Castiel cleared his throat, looking at Dean, who was looking at him over his shoulder.

"It was a disaster." Castiel raised his eyebrows. "All thanks to you."

"Me?" Castiel's eyes seemed bewildered, his jaw had tightened and his gaze was fixed on Dean as if the answer was written on his face.

"We'll talk later, now I feel very tired." Dean said overwhelmed, when he pushed himself on his crutches to enter his room, his towel fell to the floor revealing his ass towards Castiel, Dean looked at the towel and his face turned completely red, The older man stayed motionless for a few seconds looking at Dean's ass, his eyes traveled from his back full of freckles, then down his spine until he reached Dean's Venus dimples, his view went down until he had the complete image of Dean naked. Castiel used all his self-control to keep himself in place. He wanted to throw himself at Dean and have rough sex, but he knew that Dean had an injured ankle and looked upset with him, so he just squatted down and grabbed the crumpled towel from the floor and He took the opportunity to see that round ass from a better angle, when he stood up he got close enough to Dean so that his package rubbed against him and his neck felt Castiel's breathing, then with the towel he surrounded Dean's hip, covering his body, those seconds felt eternal for both of them.

"Thank you..." Dean said in a whisper when Castiel continued against him.

"You must learn to adjust your towel." Castiel said in Dean's ear, causing a shock in Dean's spine. Castiel's voice had sounded hoarser than usual. "You can't go around showing that pretty ass."

Dean accidentally let out a gasp, this man was driving him crazy, but he kept telling himself that this was for both of their good.

"Get dressed before I rip that towel off of you." Castiel growled, slapping Dean on the ass before walking away and locking himself in the bathroom. He let out the breath he was holding and looked at his pants. He had an erection just from being close to him. Dean.

After Castiel took a cold shower, he went to the couch where he was in front of his computer for hours trying to concentrate. Dean appeared when it was sunset, took a seat on the other side of the couch and watched Castiel, he seemed nervous about what was happening. the oldest decided to ignore him.

"Thanks to your silly lie, Dave left."

"Who told him?" Castiel mocked, smiling.

"Lucifer." Dean crossed his arms, faking a smile. "He thought it was a good idea to show up at the door and say that he was cheating on you."

"I didn't tell Lucifer to come."

"No, but you didn't tell him that we weren't a couple either."

"Yeah..." Castiel pursed his lips and nodded, looking at the ceiling.

"And that's not all." Dean said even more annoyed. "He threatened to break our fingers, I can't believe you always drag me into your problems..."

"That idiot..." Castiel shook his head and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"No, but..." Dean looked at Castiel, he was staring at him, he seemed... embarrassed. "How did you say?"

"I'm sorry," Castiel repeated. "It's my fault Dave walked away and it's my fault you didn't fix things with him."

"I..." Dean looked at Castiel confused, he wasn't expecting a direct apology and now he felt embarrassed, he looked at his bandaged ankle. "Dave probably doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Well, he's an idiot." Castiel said, catching Dean's gaze. "He had the opportunity to be with you and he missed it, twice, I would like... " Castiel stopped and looked away. "He's missing out, too. He's not the only man in New York, you'll find someone better."

Dean watched Castiel, he believed it was the first time Castiel said more than three words together, it was difficult to get him to talk so he was surprised by the things he said. It took him a few seconds to remember how to speak, he smiled and met Castiel's gaze.

"Are you trying to cheer me up?" Castiel looked at Dean for mockery on his face but he had a shy smile and his eyes were tired.

"I... I just..." Castiel stammered, Dean had rarely managed that, his smile grew bigger, this time he was going to let him fix that alone. "I didn't want him to... uhm... It's my fault and I feel bad about your date..."

"I know." Dean smiled and lightly squeezed Castiel's cheek between his fingers. "Maybe Dave wasn't for me."

Castiel nodded, he was a little nervous and all his attention was on the caresses of Dean's hand on his cheek.

"How... can I." Castiel was trying to formulate the question while he felt Dean's hand. "Make it up to you?"

"I... I have to think about it." Dean nodded looking down the hallway, Castiel had been so confident in the hallway and now he was acting like a fool.

Dean moved his hand away from Castiel's cheek and stood up to go to his room, leaving Castiel motionless and thinking about Dean's hand, Dean accidentally slipped on the carpet and fell to the floor again this time on his back. Dean cursed and Castiel ran to help him.

At the beginning of February, Dean took every afternoon to do the exercises that the doctor had recommended to rehabilitate his ankle, then he spent almost all night studying, one Friday while Castiel helped Dean with his walking exercises around the apartment, Meg and Balthazar went to find Castiel.

"I thought you wanted to accompany us to Jimmy's house," Meg said, leaning against the door frame.

"Uriel will be there." Balthazar raised his eyebrows smiling.

"Can't." Castiel shrugged.

"Or do not want?" Meg raised an eyebrow suspicious of Castiel who looked inside the apartment and then at his friends.

"I promised Dean to help him." Castiel said that in seconds he regretted mentioning his partner, because Balthazar pushed him and entered the apartment looking for Dean.

"We can stay." Balthazar smiled looking at Castiel, rolled his eyes and looked at Meg who just shrugged her shoulders. "And to all this... Where is Dean?"

"He is getting dressed." Castiel said crossing his arms.

"Oh, did we interrupt?" Meg asked with a mocking smile.

"No." Castiel disappeared down the hallway until he reached Dean's door where he knocked twice before entering. "My idiot friends are here, do you want your books that you left in the living room to study?"

"Friends? In plural?" Dean asked surprised, Castiel looked at him badly. "It's a serious question."

"Shocking news, my friends are here." Castiel said with sarcasm, Dean rolled his eyes . "I don't want to bother you." Dean gave Castiel a small smile and with the help of the crutches left his room. When he got to the living room, he saw Meg and another blonde man who stood up when he met his gaze, he was smiling and Dean didn't understand what was happening.

"So you're Dean." The blonde approached Dean to see him up close, the youngest nodded. "I'm Balthazar, Castiel's handsome, foreign friend."

"Hello." Dean smiled at him. "It's always nice to meet Castiel's friends."

"Please sit." Balthazar helped Dean to the couch, Castiel rolled his eyes.

"What happened to you?" Meg asked looking at the bandage on Dean's ankle.

"I..." Dean laughed, Balthazar gave a nod of approval to Castiel who glared at him. "I slipped getting out of the shower."

"That must have been painful." Balthazar said looking at Dean.

"It was." Dean nodded, wrinkling his nose.

"Where was your angel Castiel?" Meg asked, looking at Castiel who was still standing with his arms crossed looking at them. Dean blushed when his eyes met Castiel's.

"Luckily he was arriving." Dean nodded looking at Castiel.

Balthazar was questioning Dean for the next half hour, he seemed very interested in learning more about Dean Winchester, Castiel offered to bring glasses of water and called Balthazar to come with him, leaving Meg and Dean alone to talk about college.

"Are you a detective now?" Castiel asked, crossing his arms.

"Relax buddy, I just want to meet your boy." Balthazar smiled and drank from his glass of water.

"For the last time, he is not my boy."

"But you would like to." Balthazar winked at him. "He is attractive, kind and he is hot..." Balthazar nodded looking at Dean across the bar, when he returned his gaze to Castiel he was staring at him. "Jealous?"

"No, you're not his type." Castiel smiled and left the kitchen with Meg and Dean's glasses, Balthazar smiled, congratulating himself for provoking Castel and left with his glass and that of his friend.

Two hours later when Meg left the apartment to smoke - since Castiel forbade her to smoke inside - Dean couldn't help but listen to Balthazar and Castiel's conversation in the kitchen, the doors were open, but they whispered when they spoke, Dean pretended to write on his phone distracted while listening to the elders.

"So, how was yesterday?" Balthazar asked while Castiel washed the plates and glasses. "You suddenly canceled on us when we were already on our way."

"I was waiting for them at the bar and he was there." Castiel spoke without taking his eyes off his task.

"Was he the one who approached?"

"Yes, we talked for a while and you know, he invited me to his apartment." Dean frowned, which was why he hadn't returned all night.

"How was he?"

"It was... what I needed." Balthazar laughed. "It was rough, without preambles or ties, we just did it."

"I still don't understand why they broke up."

"Because Uriel is just like me." Castiel told him. "We are direct and we are not made for commitment."

"So what about Dean?" The minor directed his eyes towards the kitchen without moving his head while he tried to suppress a smile.

"What's with Dean?"

"Yes, isn't there something special there?"

"Special?" Castiel made quotes with his fingers and laughed, Dean's smile faded from his face immediately. "There is nothing between us, what makes others think otherwise?"

"Duh, maybe because of the way they look at each other, because you're always canceling our plans, because you don't want Meg or me to be around..."

"I get it." Castiel interrupted him. Dean remained attentive to the conversation, but Meg took a seat next to him, making him jump. 

"Your friends are very nice." Dean said when Castiel resumed drinking and nodded next to him on the couch after escorting Meg and Balthazar to the door.

"They maintained their composure." Castiel shrugged, Dean grimaced and stood up as best he could.

"I'm gonna rest." Before Dean could move forward Castiel stood up.

"Let me help you"

"No, I can do it alone." Dean didn't look at Castiel, he didn't want to because he felt hurt, but he knew it was the truth, the two of them only shared a flat and nothing more. Castiel nodded and let him walk away.

Chapter Text

It was Friday, Friday February 14th. Everyone was distracted between gifts and broken hearts, Dean was beginning to feel like the bad third wheel with Lee and Sid, at first he joked about being the third wheel and that this relationship was three but as the days went by the joke stopped being funny. Dean was sitting on the grass, resting his jaw on his hand while to the left of him Sid was laughing and giving Lee little kisses.

He loved the idea that his friends were happy together but he hated that it wasn't like before, now they just ignored Dean while they kissed or talked to each other and when the blonde made an excuse to leave they insisted on staying. He wasn't being selfish, he just didn't understand why his friends were asking him to stay with them to ignore him.

"So." Dean spoke to get the attention of his friends, he cleared his throat, they stopped and looked at him. "What time is Sarah's party?"

"Oh, about that..." Sid said.

"We're not going," Lee said, earning a disapproving look from Sid.

"What?" Dean said surprised.

"Sorry, it's just that we want to celebrate in a different way." Sid said making a compassionate smile.

"When were you planning to tell me that you wouldn't go?"

"We did it so you could go out and party a little, you've isolated yourself." Lee said, Dean raised an eyebrow. "We know you haven't been having a very good time and we just want to see you happy."

"Yes, with the therapy for your ankle, the classes and..."

"Sid, I've said it many times, Castiel has nothing to do with my problems," Dean said exasperated.

"Then why do you roll your eyes all the time, you hardly speak and when you do you just complain?" Sid said, listing with his fingers. "You're irritated all day."

"Well yes, I understand." Dean said desperately, then he raised his eyebrows and looked at his friends. "Oh... I think it's true."

"We just want to see the usual relaxed and fun Dean." Sid smiled. "I know when something bothers you, you're an open book, friend."

"And it's okay if you don't want to tell us what's happening, but we want to help you." Lee clarified, Dean smiled and nodded.

"You're right, I'm just as confused as you are, but going to a party I don't think is the solution."

Dean said goodbye and walked around the entire campus, he knew that all the restaurants would be saturated and in the parks there would be many couples walking, he looked at the screen of his cell phone, it was barely 5 in the afternoon but he didn't want to return to the apartment so soon, so he had to find something to kill time.

He ended up sitting on a bench in Central Park eating ice cream, he had his headphones on and looked at the horizon, again he had been avoiding Castiel and knew he was acting immature but he didn't care. Around eight thirty he arrived at the apartment, he walked down the hallway and there was an enormous silence, it seemed that everyone had left, next to the door of his apartment there was an arrangement of pastel-colored flowers, he frowned and approached looking for a card but there were none. Upon entering he noticed that the apartment was empty, Dean internally thanked him as he left the flowers inside next to the small plate where they put the keys. Maybe the flowers were for Castiel. Dean went to his room and put on his pajamas; he planned to spend the entire night doing homework. A call came in from Charlie on his cell phone.

"Charlie!" Dean spoke excitedly.

"Dean!" The redhead answered. "Are you in your apartment? Have you seen the arrangement yet?"

"Yes, who brought it?"

"A delivery man, he didn't say who they were for, but he asked what floor your apartment number was on."

"Maybe they're Castiel's." Dean shrugged.

"Did they send flowers for being the rudest man in New York?

"He's not that bad..."

"Did he brainwash you?"

"What? No, he just isn't like Benny says."

"Isn't he rude, selfish and arrogant?" Charlie asked mockingly. "Because I must tell you that I know Castiel is like that."

"I see it differently..."

"Is he pointing a gun at you to say that?"

"No, I've just gotten to know him better."

"Uh Dean, how did you meet him?"

"Don't think wrong Charlie." Dean let out a nervous laugh. "He's not my type."

"I don't think being psychologically abused is very attractive," Charlie said, laughing.

"I have to go, I have a lot of homework."

"We'll talk tomorrow." Charlie said goodbye, smiling.

Dean spent hours trying to read, he couldn't concentrate his mind was thinking about Charlie's words, he didn't see Castiel as an idiot, he is very quiet, an enigma, he normally kept his distance but he is unpredictable when he tries to be nice, when he stays without words or when talking to Sam, he seems to live tormented by his brother Gabriel but Dean did not see a rude, selfish or arrogant man in Castiel. It seemed to be the opposite, except that the others had let themselves be carried away by first impressions, by Benny's words, it seemed that everyone in the building avoided him, they didn't even look him in the eyes when speaking to him, as if that was going to stop bringing them trouble with him. Dean only saw an isolated and desolate man.

The front door rang, someone had entered. He stayed silent and looked at his watch, it was 3:17, he heard a man's voice and assumed it was Balthazar and Castiel but he heard footsteps rushing and the door to Castiel's room slamming, Dean jumped and looked at his door, when he opened it he heard kisses and murmurs from Castiel's door, he raised his eyebrows and went to the kitchen to find the apartment door open, Dean closed it and took a glass of water from the kitchen, Castiel was about to have sex in the next room, he wasn't sure he wanted to witness that so he ran to his room and turned his headphones on full volume so he wouldn't hear anything.

Dean cursed himself for the scandalous night he had had, around nine in the morning he heard the front door close and knew that Castiel's companion had left, the blonde left his room and used the coffee table. the kitchen to do his homework, a task that should have been completed yesterday but had been on cloud nine.

Castiel entered the kitchen shortly after noon, his hair was messy, he had marks all over his neck and some scratches on his back, he was only wearing black pajama pants and he was frowning. The minor did not raise his head but spied on him from his position.

"I think you forgot to move your flowers," Castiel said with an even hoarser voice than usual. "I almost ruined them yesterday."

"My-my flowers?" Dean frowned. "Aren't they for you?"

"Why the hell would you think they're for me?" Castiel scoffed as he turned on the coffee maker.

"Uhm...they didn't have a card." Dean shrugged and kept his gaze on his books. "They were by our door and I assumed they were yours."

"I'm sure they're for you," Castiel said, taking a sip from his mug. "The only day I'll probably receive flowers will be at my funeral, maybe I'll even have to send them myself."

"Don't say that." Dean spoke immediately raising his head, he looked at Castiel with a frown, that sounded horrible.

"It's the truth." Castiel shrugged and looked away as he took another sip of coffee. "No one can stand talking to me, why would they send me flowers?"

"Why would they send me flowers?" Dean asked, Castiel snorted.

"Why shouldn't they send flowers to you?" Castiel asked and Dean frowned thinking about the question a little confused. "You're probably the best person I'll ever meet in my entire life, starting with the fact that I still you keep putting up with me.

"That's not true..." Dean refused, spoke almost in a whisper and shifted in a seat. "There are many people who judge without knowing you, they haven't given themselves the opportunity to get to know you...besides, I'm not exactly a role model."

"That's not true." Castiel stared at him and Dean watched him for a few seconds. When he looked away he snorted. "Well, you should put them in water." Castiel said as he left the kitchen.

"We don't know who they belong to!" Dean raised his voice so Castiel could hear him. "You can't just give them to me!"

"I already did it!" Castiel said closing the door to his room, Dean let out a sigh.

By the time spring break was approaching, his ankle had improved, he had talked to Lee and Sid about being the third wheel in the relationship and they had taken it quite well, even though he didn't see them as often anymore, he was very happy for them and took advantage of his time alone to study or watch movies on his own.
One afternoon his parents called him to ask what day he would fly back to Kansas for the holidays. They began to question him about his love life - of course his parents didn't know he was bisexual - if he went out with girls often, if he already there was a lucky one and other shit.

That only made him uncomfortable and when the call ended he fell on the couch and let out a sigh, he should tell them the truth and maybe set some boundaries.

"Now what's bothering you?" Castiel asked, sitting next to him, Dean looked at him and grimaced.

"My parents." Dean shifted in his seat. "I have to go see them on vacation and I know they are not happy with me."

"Why wouldn't they be?" Castiel looked at him with a frown.

"For the time Sam missed the flight, for the hits I got on my birthday." Castiel nodded remembering. "And they're going to hate me when I tell them I'm bi."

"Do you plan to do it this vacation?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, it's time for you to know who I really am." Dean nodded and tried to smile.

"How brave" 

"Do you think this is a bad idea?" Dean asked unsurely.

"No, whether they accept you or not, they should know." Castiel was right, Mary and John should stop getting involved in Dean's love life. "It's who you really are."

"I just hope they don't disinherit me." Dean bit his lower lip, he was worried about his reaction. "How did you do it?"

"How did I come out of the closet?" Castiel asked and Dean nodded. "It was a disaster, I was probably 15 years old and there was a big fight between my brothers, they are still trying to accept me..."

"What about your parents? Do they accept him?" Dean asked intrigued, he had never mentioned them before, Castiel remained silent with his eyes downcast and Dean began to get upset thinking that he had touched on a sensitive topic.

"My mother lives in Canada with her husband and we haven't spoken in years." Castiel said looking at Dean to see if he had his attention. "My father died in the accident where Gabriel..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Dean looked down embarrassed, he knew there were topics he definitely shouldn't mention and he added Castiel's parents to his mental list.

"No, it's okay, you just wanted to know." Castiel nodded, his voice had sounded soft? Maybe peaceful and a little melancholic.-I think you have to choose the right moment to say it.

"I'll take that into account." Dean nodded and appreciated that Castiel told him a little more about his life.

By the time he was visiting with his parents his ankle was almost completely rehabilitated so it was easier to hide that he still walked a little strangely. His parents welcomed him with a big hug and Sam was excited to be with Dean again.

The first night was spectacular, her mother's food tasted exquisite and she swore it was because she hadn't tried it in many months but Dean claimed that that night she tasted different.
He updated them on the university, his subjects, his friends but he decided not to mention Castiel, he preferred to keep everything about him a secret even if Sam knew him.

"What about your roommate?" John asked.

"We barely lived together." Dean shrugged and Sam looked at him intently. "It's like we don't live together."

"Are they getting along?" Mary asked, Dean was avoiding Sam's judging gaze.

"We have very different schedules, we're hardly in the apartment at the same time." Dean shrugged.

"Did you know him, Sam?" Mary asked, looking at her youngest son. Sam looked at her mother and smiled, shaking his head.

"I didn't have the chance." Sam said, Dean looked at him hiding a smile and thanking the youngest for humoring him.

John and Mary congratulated his eldest son on living a responsible life in New York and began talking about what it was like to live without him at home. Sam joked that it was better to be without him and his parents immediately reprimanded him, by the time they finished dinner everyone went to his room since Dean was a little tired.

Sam showed up at Dean's door a little after midnight.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked from his bed. He had been looking at his room for the last few minutes. Sam walked into his older brother's room and closed the door behind him.

"Did something happen with Castiel?" He asked curiously. "You didn't mention it even once."

"I didn't want Mom and Dad to question me about him." Dean shrugged, let out a sigh and fell onto his bed. "I don't think they'll like him, much less after what I'm thinking of doing."

"What are you going to do?" Sam asked scared.

"I'm going to talk to them, I'm going to tell them that I'm bi." Dean nodded and looked at his younger brother who had her eyebrows raised.

"When do you plan to do it?"

"I'm not sure yet, maybe before the week is over." Dean grimaced.

The next morning Mary woke Dean up quite early and asked him to accompany her to Mrs. Trainor's house. Dean took a quick shower and dressed in the first thing he found. When he went downstairs he saw his mother waiting for him at the door. , was wearing a blue dress with small white flowers.

"Is that how you plan to go?" His mother looked at him from head to toe.

"Does I look bad?" Dean looked at himself, he was wearing black jeans and a yellow sweatshirt.

"No, I guess not." Mary made a face and opened the door, the Trainor house was only three blocks from the Winchester house so it didn't take them long to get there.

"Cady!" Mary greeted the neighbor once she opened the door, the two smiled and gave each other a brief hug.

"Mary." Mrs. Trainor smiled and gave Mary a hug, then she looked at Dean and smiled at him. "Dean, it's nice to see you, come in."

Upon entering, the woman guided them to the living room where they took a seat on a couch. The two women caught up while Dean looked around. He had never entered Mrs. Trainor's house. It was pistachio green and smelled like lavender.
A girl appeared from the kitchen, she was blonde and blue-eyed, she was wearing a white dress with little hearts, on top of it she was wearing a red sweater and smiling shyly.

"Hi, Dean" she smiled at the blonde, the two women looked at them attentively, Dean just smiled. It was Missy, a former classmate from school, they never spoke but Dean knew she was kind.

"Hi Missy."

"Missy, we need juice for breakfast, why don't you and Dean go get juice?" Mrs. Trainor raised her eyebrows, Missy nodded, Mary looked at her son expectantly.

"Uhm." Dean cleared his throat. "Do you need anything else?"

"No honey." Mary smiled and Dean nodded.

The two left the house and walked, probably going to the only supermarket in town.

"How was college in New York?" Missy asked as they walked, she kept her gaze on her feet.

"Amazing." Dean smiled trying not to think about Castiel, no, but he was part of the experience, maybe it was okay for him to remember it. "How was the local university?"

"Boring." Missy laughed. "Same faces."

"Ugh, sometimes I wish that." Dean grimaced. "It's overwhelming seeing new faces every day."

"And sometimes I would like to meet new faces." Missy smiled and Dean smiled back, nodding.

"I used to like you, you know?" Dean said after a pause. "In eighth grade."

"Oh really? -Missy asked incredulously. "I used to like you too."

"How come we never go out?" Dean asked, remembering high school, he used to have a huge group of friends who had stayed together until high school, but when they graduated, they all vanished, they moved to college and none of them kept in touch, at least not with Dean, maybe they weren't as close as I assumed.

"I guess because we were very different." Missy nodded. "I hardly liked parties and well you... you were something wild."

"Wild?" Dean smiled, he admitted that before he went out with a lot of girls and at parties he was normally with boys, they locked themselves in a bathroom and kissed or even had sex, but he was just enjoying his sexuality.

"Yeah, there were all kinds of rumors and stories about you." Missy looked ahead remembering.

By the time breakfast was over, Mrs. Trainor promised that she and Missy would go to lunch the next day. On the way home, her mother kept questioning Dean about Missy and even her father also asked about her. Dean didn't understand the insistence. to find out about his former classmate with whom he never lived. At night he called Lee and learned that he and Sid had gone on vacation together, they were in Boston, Massachusetts, they told him how beautiful the city was and the photographs they had taken, they promised to buy him a souvenir and they said goodbye since , in his words, -the city had exhausted them-.

When Mrs. Trainor and Missy arrived at the Winchesters' house, Sam and Dean were on the couch playing cards while John was talking to Mary in the kitchen. Missy appeared in the living room, greeting the brothers and taking a seat on the couch next door. . Minutes later John called Sam leaving Missy and Dean alone. Luckily for Dean he was good at keeping a conversation since the atmosphere was a little awkward.

Cady and Mary were the ones who kept the conversation on the table, with some comments from John and the questions they asked the three young people. When it got dark, the Trainors thanked them for the invitation and said goodbye. The Winchesters accompanied them to the door.

"I'm glad to see Dean is back." Cady said looking at Dean.

"You've been on his account for so long." Mary took him by the shoulders. "It would be good if you went out to relax from the big city."

"Missy could go out with him." Mrs. Trainor added, Sam and Dean exchanged glances.

"That would be lovely. "Mary nodded.  "Saturday is fine?"

"It's perfect!" Cady applauded. "See you Saturday, let's go Missy."

What had happened? Had her mother just set her up on a date? Dean decided not to protest, if he wanted to talk to his parents he should keep his mouth shut, he didn't want to provoke an argument.

Sid and Lee were sending him pictures of every place they visited all week, for a moment Dean envied them, he wanted to be able to vacation and be with... No, he could travel alone, he shook his head and buried that thought deep inside. could. At some point during the week he received a message from Castiel in the early morning, but in the morning he only appeared in their conversation.

⚠︎︎ This message has been deleted.

He thought about writing to her and asking her what he had sent or even calling him, but no, he had to stop himself. Was this a stupid excuse to talk? No, he wasn't or maybe he was. He spent days tormenting himself until he realized it was too late to ask about the message.

On Saturday he had to go pick up Missy at her house even without knowing where they would go or what they would talk about for so long. After saying goodbye to Mrs. Trainor, Dean drove the impala to the center of town, he was just happy to be able to drive his car. They remained silent until they passed the town cafeteria.

"Do you want a milkshake?" Dean asked smiling.

"Clear." Missy nodded and Dean parked and they got out together, despite it being a Saturday afternoon it was a bit empty, he used to go with his friends to eat hamburgers and milkshakes every Friday when they were kids.

"And how have you been?" Dean asked.

"Since the last time we saw each other, good." Missy smiled. "what about you?"

"Great" Dean lied, of course he wasn't going to tell her that he was tormented by a deleted message.

While waiting their milkshakes, they looked around, avoiding meeting anyone's gaze, this was even more uncomfortable than the first day. Some people greeted them, former teachers, neighbors, former classmates. The milkshakes arrived 15 minutes later and they were both thankful they had something else to focus their attention on.

"Maybe we should order something to eat." Missy spoke, capturing Dean's attention. "Burgers?"

"Definitely yes." Dean nodded and watched Missy stand up and go to the counter to order her burger, while he checked his phone to see new messages, once again only photos of Sid and Lee's breakfast, but nothing about Castiel .

"Ready." Missy sat down again, the two made a face trying to smile and remained silent again. "Okay, enough."

"Huh?" Dean raised an eyebrow, Missy let out a sigh, her face now had an expression of impatience.

"We must talk about the elephant in the room." Missy rested her chin on her hands. "Our mothers forced us to come and this couldn't be more uncomfortable."

"I know." Dean let out a sigh. "I would have refused, no offense, but I haven't seen my parents for so long that I prefer not to fight."

"I heard my mother say that they would match us." Missy rolled her eyes, suddenly she didn't seem like the shy girl from Monday.

"Is seriously?" Dean felt indignant, at that moment the burgers arrived.

"Even my mother spent a whole month talking to me about you." Missy said once the waiter had walked away from her. "Today she told me to be a good girl and give me my place, can you believe it?"

"No, that's why my parents insisted on knowing if she was dating someone" Dean began to connect the dots and cursed himself for falling into the trap.

"We should take revenge." Missy and Dean ate a bite of the burger at the same time. 

"Oh, leave that to me." Dean nodded, today was the night, when he returned home he would tell his parents the truth and thus they would stop looking for a partner.

"You hace a plan?" Missy asked, drinking her milkshake. Dean analyzed her for a few seconds, he was very open with his sexuality, but he didn't know how the girl would react to telling him his big plan, she and her mother were quite religious and she probably wouldn't understand, but he reminded Jesse of a close friend of Missy's and one of the guys Dean was with, she definitely knew that Jesse was gay.

"I am bisexual and my parents don't know it." Dean said, stealthy of the blonde's reaction.

"Oh, that's perfect." Missy smiled. "Well, I mean that way we won't have to go out anymore."

"Aren't you surprised?"

"What? Of course not." Missy laughed. "Jesse tells me everything."

"Jesse, of course." Dean nodded and laughed, the two continued eating while they continued talking, the conversation became more fluid and even Dean felt that he had gained a new friend.

When he dropped her off at her house it wasn't that late, it was barely ten. Missy said goodbye, they exchanged numbers and she wished him luck with her parents, Dean took a deep breath when he pulled up to the house, his mother probably already knew that he and Missy had returned early. When he got out of the car he felt his knees weak, his hands wanted to shake but he kept telling himself if what he was about to do was a good decision, if everything went wrong he could return to New York and stay there until graduation, maybe he would find a part-time job to pay for his food and maybe in a few years his parents would forgive him or he would stay there for two weeks and enjoy the holidays together, but Dean knew that wouldn't happen, not with his parents. His mother always claimed to have nothing against the LGBT+ community but whenever a couple appeared she looked at them badly and his father, John Winchester, couldn't be a squarer man because he couldn't, he just said that he didn't like those people. and they were not normal.

There was no turning back, if his parents really loved him they would understand. He took a deep breath and opened the door to the house. His parents were in the kitchen talking about bills while Sam was on the couch watching a documentary.

"Why are you back so early?" John asked when Dean entered the kitchen.

"Because we have to talk." Dean had to use all of his self-control to not sound shaky in his voice.

"All good?" Mary asked, his parents were sitting in front of him looking at him expectantly.

"Please never make a date for me again." Dean kept his eyes on his mother.

"Didn't it go well?" Dean looked at John.

"No, not exactly." Dean looked towards the couch, Sam was spying on him from there, not knowing how to intervene. "It's just that Missy and I are very different and I..."

"What are you taking about? Missy is a great girl." Mary interrupted. "Dean, if this is a tantrum for forcing you to go, I don't want to hear it."

"No, mom." Dean let out a sigh. "I've been dating people in New York." Dean didn't lie at all.

"You said you didn't have anything serious, what's the problem?" John asked.

"That you should not decide who I should date or not, it is my decision." Dean did his best to keep his words from sounding aggressive.

"We just want you to be happy with a girlfriend." John said with a shrug.

"But I don't want a girlfriend." Dean saw Sam stand up out of the corner of his eye.

"So?" Mary frowned. "Do you want to be single?"

"Maybe, but I might also want... a boyfriend." Dean finally said it, instead of feeling relieved he felt embarrassed by the way his father looked at him, Mary's eyes filled with tears.

"Dean, don't play with your mother's feelings like that." John raised his voice, he was furious, he had used that tone of voice when he and Sam had gone out for a bike ride and Sam had broken his arm.

"How do you think of saying something so horrible?"

"Horr...? This is serious." Dean said, standing firm under the gaze of his father. "I think it was time you knew."

"Dean, tell me the truth." Mary said through tears. "Are you saying you're...?"

"I am bisexual." Dean said, no longer very sure of himself because of his father's look.

"A faggot. That's what you are." John said, standing up and approaching Dean, he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall, that's when Sam intervened.

"Dad let him go." Sam did everything he could to get between the two.

"In this house we do not tolerate that." John said, releasing Dean. "Tomorrow you and I are going to visit Father Sanders."

"What?" Dean asked with a frown, Sam touched his shoulder trying to calm him down.

"There are no faggots in this house!" John bellowed, Mary looked at the floor while she tried to dry her tears.

"Well, there won't be any." Dean answered leaving the kitchen.

Sam chased him asking him what he was doing, Dean ignored him and when he entered his room he took his suitcase and closed it (fortunately he didn't take out his clothes), he was going to change his flight and return to New York, as always, Dean acted impulsively, He left the house saying goodbye to Sam with a big hug.

"Sammy, look at me." Dean caught his attention, the minor was still too upset. "I don't know when the next time I'll see you is, but we'll keep in touch more often, okay?"

"No, Dean, this is not right."

"I know, but mom and dad need to be away from me to assimilate." Sam nodded sadly and hugged his brother one last time, Dean looked one last time inside the house where his father was comforting Mary and took the bus that would take him to Kansas City for the airport. Dean said goodbye to Lawrence, as he didn't know when he would be allowed to come home.

Chapter Text

Luckily for Dean he was able to get a flight to New York for 2:45, it was barely midnight, so he had plenty of time to think about what had happened that night, he knew it was quite late but on impulse he decided to call Sid, she always helped him when Dean was lost. After three rings, Lee's voice answered the phone.

"Dean?" She asked strangely. "Are you drunk?"

"I wish I were... but they wouldn't let me get on the plane and there is no place open here."

"Are you at the airport?" Sid asked, surprised.

"You're on speakerphone, friend," Lee clarified.

"I'm going back to New York." Dean remained calm, he wasn't going to explode in front of the police officer and the other two passengers in the waiting room.

"At this time?"

"Yes, things got bad and I had to leave."

"What did you do, Winchester?" Lee asked.

"I told my parents." There was silence on the other side of the line, Dean looked at the screen of his cell phone to confirm that they were still on the call. "Guys?"

"Here we are." Sid said. "It's just that you caught us off guard..."

"Oh...were you busy?"

"No dumbass, it means that we didn't expect you to say that." Lee spoke.

"We were watching a reality show." Sid clarified. "How do you feel?"

"Horrible, my father insulted me." Dean nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I'm so sorry darling," Sid said. "Sooner or later they'll accept it, maybe they just need to process it."

"I wish so." Dean closed his eyes to hold back tears, why couldn't they love him for who he was? And not who Dean loved?

"Do you want us to water New York?" Sid asked.

"No, I couldn't do that to them." Dean flatly refused. "Enjoy your vacation together, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Lee knew Dean was lying, but if he didn't want it he couldn't make him accept the offer.

"Yes, I think I will use the time to meditate or find a job..."

"Fine, but don't stop keeping in touch." Sid warned him.

"I do not promise anything."

"I'll kick your ass when I see you," Sid said, earning a laugh from Dean and Lee.

"I would like to see that." Dean challenged her.

Around 5:30 Dean was waiting for the subway, it would take 15 minutes to get to his apartment. The platform was not as alone as he thought, that calmed him down a little because he knew how dangerous the city was at night, the idea of sending a message to Castiel crossed his mind but it seemed unnecessary to him.

When he got home it was not yet dawn, he left his suitcase at the entrance of the apartment since he did not want to continue carrying it and went straight to his room, fell on the bed and closed his eyes.

When he opened his eyes again, it was sunny so he assumed it was noon, when he opened the door to his room he could hear Castiel talking on the phone, Dean didn't have the mood to talk and he looked terrible from the argument and the trip, he decided to stay. In his room all day, he was using his cell phone to watch movies and text with his friends.
He received a message from Missy asking if he was okay, Dean assured her that he was okay and she apologized for causing problems with his parents.

It wasn't your fault, I've wanted to tell them for a long time.
I was upset and acted on impulse.

It must be hard when your parents don't accept you. Jesse suffered a lot.
But if you want to talk about it I'll be here.

She was a great girl, Dean liked her. Castiel knocked on his door at six in the afternoon, asked if he wanted to eat but got no response. Monday was no different from the day before, Dean didn't leave his room all day and Castiel insisted he go out several times but without any success.

Wednesday was being boring, he had been in the apartment alone for a few days, Castiel was beginning to think that he missed Dean but he would never admit it out loud. Balthazar and Meg begged him to go out to a bar but he refused, he wanted to stay home and read.
He surfed the internet reading poems, they were his guilty pleasure and one of his great secrets.

He suddenly saw one titled "Emerald Eyes."

Emerald eyes that gaze so sweet,
Two orbs of green, our souls do meet.

They are my sanctuary, where I stray,
Where I find solace, day by day.

Within those depths, I often roam,
Sometimes losing myself, finding home.

Castiel could only think of eyes that comforted him on bad days. He knew it was wrong, that he couldn't let himself think about him, but the more his mind forbade it, the more he remembered it. Castiel closed his laptop and stood up, it was time to go for a walk.

Meg had forced him to try all the cocktails at the bar, while his friend was dancing with her boyfriend, Balthazar was flirting with the bartender, he grabbed his cell phone with difficulty and decided that Dean must know about the poem, he wanted to tell him that he couldn't stop thinking about his eyes. 

Green eyes save me, never go. I want you here.

The poem is you

He managed to write with the help of the auto-corrector, when sending his message he put away his cell phone and laid his head against the table, closed his eyes and dozed for a few minutes. Balthazar woke him up and helped him stand up, apparently he was coming home.

When Castiel was in his bed he took his cell phone to send him a message from Balthazar asking him if he had arrived at his apartment and he saw the message he had sent to Dean and immediately deleted it, he prayed that Dean hadn't seen it.

On Sunday morning he woke up around nine and went out to make himself some coffee, if Dean was there he would probably be ready by now. He saw Dean's suitcase by the door and frowned, that shouldn't be there.
When he opened the door to the youngest's room he could see him sleeping face down in his bed, he hadn't even changed his clothes, so Castiel assumed that he was exhausted and a part of him was happy.

That glance, it hides in the undergrowth,
Penetrates my spirit, kindles both.

Divine in their essence, a double-edged sword,
My salvation or demise, unexplored.

He didn't leave the room all day and when he knocked on his door he didn't get an answer so he assumed he was upset with him, maybe he had seen the message and now hated it. He tormented himself in the night for being an idiot, he knew Dean wouldn't want anything to do with him and Castiel wasn't in love with Dean, he shouldn't be just he was attracted to him. But how do you know you're in love? He kept telling himself that he was confused and was exaggerating.

Monday and Tuesday were no different, Dean seemed to have decided to quarantine in his room. Castiel knew it was his fault and he hated himself for reading that stupid poem. For thinking about those green eyes, that he needed to see.

Castiel went out for a coffee around 11 at night, he wanted to clear his head a little, he was tired of torturing himself since the vacation started, when he returned home he heard the shower water running, he sat on the couch and looked at his cell phone for a while. minutes, Dean and his conversation entered, he was an idiot and maybe I should explain that message to him.

By the time the water stopped, Castiel stood up and walked towards the hallway, where he waited for Dean to open the bathroom door. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Castiel spoke.

"Dean." Was the only thing he could say, Dean seemed to have swollen eyes, he grimaced trying to smile.

"Cas," he said in a soft tone and almost in a whisper.

"I, I want to... talk," Castiel said.

"I'm sorry, maybe I should have told you I was coming back sooner," Dean said, the two of them still in the same place, Castiel at the beginning of the hallway while Dean was standing under the door frame with his hand on his waist holding the towel. that surrounded him.

"It's not that..." Castiel stopped for a few seconds. "Did you cry?"

"No, not at all." Dean looked away. "I'm tired."

"Dean..." Castiel called him, then he remembered what Dean would do. "Didn't it go well?"

"Huh?" Dean looked at him.

"Your parents... didn't take it well." Dean didn't say anything, he looked down once more, shook his head and looked at Castiel again, while he pursed his lips.

"I don't think..." Dean cleared his throat. "I don't think I'll be welcome home for a while."

At the last word Dean's voice trailed off, his eyes became glassy and Castiel couldn't help but think how beautiful those eyes looked but he didn't want that look, Dean looked like a helpless child and Castiel hated that. Without thinking twice he approached Dean and wrapped him in his arms where the other began to cry.

Undefined, this feeling yet,
But I long to gaze, no regret.

Emerald eyes, so deep and true,
In your embrace, I find my clue.

Castiel was waiting for Dean on the couch, he had noticed that he was sad the last few days because of his parents and he wanted to cheer him up a little so he had a surprise prepared for him.
He just wanted to make up for the times he had helped him, he had no other intention or that was what he told himself.

"Dean, I suggest you hurry up," Castiel said, looking down the hallway.

"I'm coming!" Dean left his room while he put on a jean jacket. "I just don't know anything about what's going to happen, I don't know what to wear."

"That's perfect," Castiel said, looking him up and down, he stood up and walked to the door. "Now let's go."

"You're just saying that because you're in a hurry," Dean said walking behind him, Castiel stopped before opening the door and looked at Dean.

"No matter what you wear, you look good, whether it's your pajamas or a tuxedo," Castiel clarified. "You could even walk down the street in boxers and you'd still look great."

"You're saying I spent half an hour deciding what to wear just to look like I always do?" Dean crossed his arms and Castiel let out a sigh.

"I say whatever you wear, you look like a magazine model, you're impressive." Castiel turned around and opened the door, leaving Dean motionless. "Are you going to spend all day delaying us?"

"No, I'm coming." Dean shook his head and left the apartment.

Upon entering the elevator Dean looked at the older man for a few seconds, wondering why he had been so kind to him since he returned, maybe it was pity.

"Stop looking at me like I'm a freak." Castiel said looking forward, Dean looked down.

"I'm sorry." His cheeks turned red "Do you really think I look good?"

"Of course, don't ask stupid questions." Castiel said looking at him, Dean looked up and they stared at each other. The elevator doors opened, meeting Benny.

"Dean." Benny greeted him, his smile disappearing when he saw Castiel. "Castiel."

"Benjamin," Castiel said looking at him.

"Benny, I haven't seen you in weeks." Dean smiled.

"I was just going to your apartment." Benny smiled again. "There will be an incredible party and I wanted to invite you."

"Oh, I'm sorry but I already have plans." Dean grimaced. "Maybe it will be next time."

"Yeah, don't worry brother." Benny made a face and stepped aside to let them pass, Dean said goodbye and left with Castiel, Benny raised an eyebrow when he saw them leaving the building together.

"Can you tell me where we're going now?" Dean said after several stations on the subway.

"You'll know when we get there." Was the only thing Castiel said, Dean rolled his eyes. "Maybe you would have agreed to go to that party, you would have more fun."

"No, I wouldn't do that to you." Dean said shaking his head. "You invited me first."

Castiel nodded and looked out the carriage window. It was a sunny day, not very hot, but Castiel didn't miss the opportunity to wear his sunglasses. A few minutes later they arrived at the indicated station and Castiel touched Dean's shoulder indicating that they should get off, because the car was full of people, Novak took Dean's hand and dragged him out of the car. Dean just watched him in silence, he didn't even care about the destination anymore, now he only thought about the feeling of his skin against Castiel's, who didn't let go of his hand until they were outside the subway.

"We'll have to walk a little bit," Castiel said, looking at Dean, who only nodded with his lips parted. When was the last time he had kissed him? Castiel gave himself a mental slap.

Dean understood where they were going when they boarded the ferry, not far away he could see the Statue of Liberty. He looked at Castiel who seemed to avoid his gaze, a small smile appeared between his lips and he looked away to contemplate the sea, Castiel was not a bad guy, neither selfish nor arrogant, he was misunderstood.
Dean didn't feel sorry for him like Castiel once thought, he didn't see it as an obligation to have to get along. He no longer saw Castiel as his intimidating roommate, nor insolent as everyone warned him, he saw a lonely Castiel, distrustful and even scared about the health of his older brother.
When he looked at Castiel he looked at him carefully as if trying to see through him, for a few seconds they stared at each other without saying a single word.

"Apparently you're the one who can't stop looking at me now, Cas." Dean smiled, hoping Castiel would blush.

"I don't want to stop doing it." Castiel shrugged his shoulders, he made a face that looked like a smile, Dean lowered his head feeling the burning in his cheeks. "See? That's the fun."

"Huh?" Dean tilted his head, meeting Cas's gaze.

"Make you blush," Castiel said, nodding. "I like making you blush."

"I'd prefer if you didn't." Dean smiled. They were reaching the shore when Dean finished speaking.

"Sue me." Castiel joked, leaving him motionless once again. A few steps later, the older man put on his sunglasses and looked at Dean. "Winchester, are you coming or what?"

Dean nodded and walked with long strides to catch up with Castiel. Once off the ferry they began to explore the place, Castiel explained to Dean some facts about the statue and they took some photographs.

"We have to take a photo here, you can see the city." Dean took Castiel's arm and pointed out the large buildings in the distance.

"Uhm." Castiel was about to say no but Dean didn't allow it.

Before he could protest, Dean was already posing for the camera held by a stranger.

"Smile Cas." Dean said after wrapping his arms around Novak's torso, wrapping him in a hug, Castiel put his hand on Dean's back and smiled without showing his teeth.

"Ready." The man said, handing the cell phone to Dean who thanked him and the man walked away without further ado.

"So..." Dean said after reviewing the photographs on his cell phone. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Why did I bring you here?" Castiel repeated the question. "You wanted to know New York, you had to know this place."

Dean nodded a little disappointed, he had been getting it into his head for weeks that Castiel didn't feel anything for him and that he was deluding himself.

"Thank you, you don't know what it means." Dean smiled, although he appreciated a grimace more. He had spent half a day without thinking about his parents and John's words. It was an achievement.

"I also wanted to..." Castiel cleared his throat. "I wanted to spend time with you."

"Did you miss me while I was gone?" Dean asked smiling, Castiel could have refused and said something indifferent like "I didn't even notice your absence" but seeing Dean with a smile and looking at him so attentively couldn't be distant as always.

"It wasn't the same without you" Castiel said, looking away from Dean, the Winchester wanted to hug him and tell him that every night before going to sleep he had thought about him, but he restrained himself once again.

"Yes, I admit that I missed you too." Dean said looking at his feet, Castiel looked at him for a few seconds thinking about what to answer. He didn't expect that answer.

"Castiel?" A male voice asked behind Novak, Dean frowned and looked at Cas who turned around.

"Mick," Castiel said in greeting.

"Hello..." Mick smiled looking at Castiel from top to bottom. "You look very good..."

"You grew your beard," Castiel said, nodding. Dean just watched them in silence, he wanted to see the expression in Castiel's eyes but the dark glasses prevented him from doing so.

"I haven't seen you in so long and we live in the same neighborhood." Mick laughed, he was a not very tall man, with blue eyes and dark hair, he had a British accent and a charming smile."How have you been?"

"Good." Castiel nodded, they were talking while Dean was focused on analyzing Mick and Castiel's reactions.

"Hello, I'm Mick Davies." The boy addressed Dean, drawing his attention, the Winchester smiled.

"Dean... Winchester." He smiled.

"You must be Castiel's boyfriend that everyone is talking about, right?" the Brit asked. What everyone is talking about? Who were they all? Dean wondered.

"No, we're just friends," Castiel said, coughing.

"Oh, my bad." Mick shrugged and looked at Castiel again. "So you're still available..."

"I guess so..." Castiel said with a fake smile, Dean once again looked at them trying to figure out what was happening.

"Good to know..." Mick nodded and looked at his watch. "We should hang out again one of these days...damn! I'm late." Mick leaned close to Castiel's ear and whispered. "Then we'll see each other soon... Goodbye Dean!"

"Bye..." Dean said watching Mick disappear. "A friend?"

"We went out from time to time." Castiel shrugged.

"He seems like a great guy." Dean nodded and looked to where Mick had gone. What do I need for you to notice me? Dean wondered, what did he need to have Castiel?

Dean didn't pay much attention to where he was, his attention was on Cas, what he felt when he saw him and how his knees went weak when Castiel looked at him. He was vulnerable, he was still sad for his parents and that made whatever Dean felt for the older man intensify.

When they returned to the mainland, they decided to go for hamburgers, if Dean wasn't so self-conscious he would dare to say that they were on a date and he would like to hold Novak's hand again but he didn't know what boundaries existed between the two. Dean wanted to take initiative but he was afraid of ruining things. A small voice in his head seemed to urge him to do it, what was the worst that could happen to him? They would only be awkward for a few weeks and probably wouldn't speak to each other and then act like nothing had happened, Dean was used to it. If Castiel did it when he wanted, why not Dean? That voice was convincing Dean, emboldening him enough to make a move. You have nothing to lose. It was the last thing he said in that voice before Dean decided to act.

When they stopped on the sidewalk to wait for the traffic light, Dean looked at Castiel next to him. He decided to be subtle at first, so he got closer until he touched his arms. The blonde looked at him out of the corner of his eye, looking for a sign to stop, but Castiel didn't seem to notice the contact. between the two.
Dean brought the back of his hand closer to Cas's, brushed against it for a few seconds, and when he was brave enough, he slowly and gently intertwined his hand with Novak's.
Dean was very nervous waiting for a reaction from Castiel, who was still looking ahead and when Dean looked at him the traffic light turned red allowing pedestrians to cross the avenue.
Castiel once again had to pull Dean along to start walking. Dean seemed surprised by that action, they were crossing the street holding each other's hands. He smiled sideways and continued walking while he felt his hand against Castiel's. Just for today. He thought.

When they took their seats in the restaurant was when Castiel let go of his hand to sit in front of him.

"I've heard that their burgers are the best in the area." Castiel said looking at the menu.

"I'll judge that." Dean smiled looking at Castiel.

"How are you Dean?" Castiel asked after the waitress took his orders. The black-haired man rested his elbows on the table as well as his hands.

"Great, it was a pleasant surprise." Dean nodded and looked down. "I know you invited me to clear my head... you really didn't have to."

"But I wanted to do it." Castiel said. "The most important thing is always self-love, how you see yourself... I don't want you to look in the mirror and think about the things your father said."

"I wish it were that easy." Dean laughed bitterly.

"No, it's not." Castiel brought his hand closer to Dean's and looked into Dean's eyes, drawing his attention. "It takes time to some people assimilate it, but the only one who should be accepted as it is, it's yourself."

"I know." Dean stared at Cas as his hands played. "I don't want to talk about it now, we just have to enjoy the day."

"As you wish." Castiel nodded and Dean smiled without showing his teeth.

"We should go out more often." Dean nodded looking at his hands on the table.

"Go out?" Castiel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean..."

"Dean?" That voice, the Winchester believed he would never hear it again.

"Dave." Dean tried to smile. Dave was smiling, he seemed happy to meet him but his smile faded when he saw Castiel and their intertwined hands.

"And Castiel." Dave nodded, grimacing. Cas rested his chin on the palm of his free hand and looked at Dave. "Sure."

"This is not what it seems," Dean said, immediately releasing Castiel.

"I'm starting to think that's your favorite phrase." Dave faked a laugh. "It's good to know that you're together..."

"We're not together," Castiel said, drawing the boy's attention.

"Oh no?" Dave raised an eyebrow. "It's a shame because it seems that you have something..."

"We're just friends..." Dean cleared his throat and Dave nodded.

"Dave, what are you doing? I'm waiting for you." A boy took Dave's hand.

"Sorry babe" Dave said and looked at Dean once more. "It was good to see you, I hope the next time we meet you'll finally be together."

And without further ado he walked away with the boy, Dean wanted to avoid Castiel's gaze at all costs and was grateful that the waitress brought them their burgers at that precise moment.
While they ate they only praised the burger and made small comments about the place.

"I think today was the day to meet up with exes," Dean said after a while. Castiel let out a small laugh.

"There were too many coincidences for this city," Castiel said, frowning.

"It seems that fate wants to play a trick on us." Dean said looking around. "What's the next stop?"

"This time it's your turn to choose." Castiel said.

"Uhm, okay." Dean nodded thinking. "We should go to the Rockefeller Center skating rink."

"Do you know how to skate?" Castiel raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, but not on ice skates." Dean smiled.-You?"

"No."

"Great!" Dean said enthusiastically. "Then come on, we have to learn together."

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," Castiel said before stepping onto the court.

"Don't worry, it's easy." Dean said smiling, surprisingly the Winchester learned to ice skate in less than 10 minutes, now he was just trying to convince Castiel to enter the rink with him, Dean extended his hand for Castiel to take. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes, but not on me." Castiel said doubtfully, Dean made a face at him and Novak gave up taking Dean's hand.

Once inside the court, Castiel could barely stand, easily losing his balance despite holding on to the edge of the glass and Dean's hand. When they had almost circled the entire rink Castiel let go of the glass and began to skate still holding Dean's hand.

"You see? It's not that difficult..." Dean couldn't finish speaking because Castiel lost his balance and the two fell against the ice.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asked worriedly, the two were sitting on the ice, Dean started to laugh and nodded.

Once the two were standing, they moved forward slowly again. They were still holding hands and while Castiel looked at the ice he was sliding on, Dean stared at him. Was he having feelings for Castiel? It was the question that resonated in his mind.

"I think we can go faster now." Castiel said nodding, Dean began to skate a little faster without letting go of Castiel and when he was in front of him, Novak lost his balance once again and fell to the ice pulling Dean against him. 

Dean was on top of Castiel and the two looked at each other surprised by the blow, once again Dean was the one who started laughing and then Castiel joined him. It was the first time he had seen him laugh.

Without thinking twice Dean approached and stole a short kiss on Castiel's lips.

Chapter Text

"You like him." Sid said for the third time. "It's okay if you admit it out loud."

"If I say it out loud it would confirm it."

"So you like him?" Sid said taking a sip of his blackberry smoothie.

"No." Dean denied looking at his mango smoothie, Sid let out a sigh and shifted in his seat, they were in the university cafeteria, strangely Lee was not with them. He excused himself by saying that his car had an engine problem and he would use his free time to get it fixed.

"You've talked about him since we returned to school."

"I just told you how I had an incredible vacation." Dean shrugged, smiling. "I finally saw New York and got a great job."

"Being a waiter at karaoke Kaito." Sid nodded. "It seems a bit heavy between university and work..."

"It is, but I don't have any other alternatives." Dean shrugged his shoulders, his parents had stopped sending him money as he had planned so he found a job as a waiter to be able to pay for food and whatever was missing in the apartment. . Even though Castiel had insisted on paying all the expenses, Dean flatly refused, and he also liked his work. "You should go sometime, you'll like the food."

"Sounds like a good idea." Sid nodded. "But don't try to change the subject with me, Winchester."

"What?" Dean feigned amnesia. Sid glared at him.

"This is not going to stay like this." Dean started to laugh.

When he returned home he found Castiel's friends on the couch, when he closed the door all eyes were on him.

"Why so elegant?" Dean asked as he approached, Balthazar was wearing a completely black suit while Meg was wearing a purple dress just above the knee. There was another boy with them who was also wearing a suit and his tie was the same color as Meg's dress.

"We have dinner with some classmates." Balthazar said. "I thought Cassy had invited you..."

"He doesn't have to." Dean shrugged.

"Dean, this is my boyfriend, Alex." Meg said from the other couch holding the boy's hand.

"Nice to meet you." Alex smiled at him, he seemed like a pretty tough guy, he had black hair with very dark eyes and his body was full of tattoos or at least that was what Dean could see on the suit. "They've talked to me quite a bit over you"

"Hi, nice to meet you." Dean nodded. "I didn't know I was so popular with Cas's friends."

"Actually, it's Cas who told me about you." Alex nodded.

"R-really?" Dean looked at Alex surprised, he nodded.

"You shouldn't be surprised" -Balthazar spoke. "You are practically boyfriends."

"If they keep talking we're going to be late," Castiel said, appearing down the hallway, looking at the watch on his wrist while he adjusted his jacket. Dean looked at him carefully, he was enjoying seeing that man in a suit. Everyone looked at Dean who was only looking at Castiel. "How do I look?" He asked Dean.

"You...uh..." Dean cleared his throat and shook his head. "Your tie is crooked, let me help you." Dean walked over to Castiel and rearranged his tie, they were too close to him once again. Dean could feel the heat of Castiel's body against his, and he looked into his eyes for a moment that seemed eternal. Balthazar, Meg, and Alex exchanged glances to confirm that they were all seeing the same thing. Dean's palms ran over Castiel's chest and then let them fall. "There... you're perfect." Uhm I mean now... you're ready...

"I hate to kill the passion but Castiel is right, we're going to be late." Alex said looking at his cell phone, Meg and Balthazar looked at him disapprovingly for interrupting the moment.

"Let's go," Castiel said walking to the door.

"Don't wait up for him," Meg said to Dean opening the door.

"Too bad you're not going to go with us." Balthazar said looking at Dean as he walked to the door. "My friend is a very idiot sometimes."

"Go ahead, I'll catch up with you in a moment." Castiel said to Alex and Balthazar, they exchanged glances.

"Nice to meet you Dean!" Alex said before being dragged by Balthazar out of the apartment. Castiel stood in front of Dean again and they looked at each other for a few seconds.

"Cas, you're in a hurry, remember?" Dean said, Castiel continued looking at him.

"I wanted us to be alone for a moment."

"Why?" Dean asked confused.

"Because I needed to do this." Castiel grabbed Dean's waist and planted a kiss on his lips. "I didn't want to be with an audience." Castiel spoke between kisses.

"Cas..." Dean whispered as he stroked the hair on the back of the other's neck. "You're going to be late."

"It will be worth it." Dean deepened the kiss and Castiel's hands ran down his back. They separated due to lack of air and looked at each other for a few seconds. "See you later."

"I hope so." Dean nodded, Castiel turned around to leave the apartment. "Cas... Comb your hair." Dean said when he saw the older man's messy hair, he nodded and ran his hand through his hair while he closed the door.

Dean let out a sigh and smiled. Now he had to focus on his homework. Luckily for him he had gotten a part-time shift from Thursday to Sunday, so he had to use the rest of the week on tasks, he reached an agreement with Castiel where he would be in charge of buying all the food and paying for the water due to how small his salary was, since he still had to save for some emergency or for class materials.

By the time Castiel returned home it was after midnight. Dean was on the couch reading when Castiel entered the apartment, his shirt had the first few buttons open and he was no longer wearing a tie, he held his breath at the sight and pursed his lips.

"How was it?" Dean asked.

"Boring." Castiel fell onto the couch and looked at Dean. "I should have stayed with you."

"You would have just missed your dinner and you would be here grumbling about not having gone." Dean laughed.

"Maybe it would have been different with you there."

"Too late, Cas."

"I'm very idiotic sometimes."

"You have your moments." Dean smiled. Castiel looked at him for a few seconds in silence.

"Why are we so complicated?" Castiel frowned and tilted his head.

"Complicated?"

"Do you know what is happening between the two of them?" Castiel leaned his head on the back of the sofa and looked at the ceiling. "I don't."

"I don't know if I want to know," Dean muttered to himself. Castiel closed his eyes and began to babble.

Dean looked at Castiel, he was drunk. Why hadn't he noticed it before? Novak continued babbling until he fell asleep. As Dean continued reading him, he heard a sigh and stopped reading him to look at him and smiled. He wanted to caress his face and swore he could spend the whole night looking at him, although he wanted to see his eyes, as blue as they were unforgettable. He loved seeing him with his eyes closed and so calm but he missed his eyes.

Sid was right, he was screwed.

"You have to talk to him," Lee said as he stroked Sid's hair.

"Yes, he said that he didn't know what was between the two." Sid nodded. "Maybe if they talked about it..."

"No, I can't do that..." Dean got nervous just thinking about it.

"And how long are they going to continue like this? " Lee crossed his arms. "Until one of you gets bored? Or until you get hurt?"

"They've been living together for six months Dean, they can't last like this forever." Sid and Lee were doing an intervention, Dean felt cornered.

"What if he doesn't feel the same?" Dean looked down and played with his hands.

"Then you walk away," Lee said.

"We live in the same apartment, don't you think it will be uncomfortable?"

"Then you move in with me." Sidney said. "Matter settled."

"This is not a good idea.-Dean sighed.-I will talk to him but if this destroys me I will blame them for everything."

"And we will be here to pay the consequences.-Lee assured him. Dean looked up at the sky.

Castiel arrived around five in the afternoon, he looked tired. Dean spent two hours thinking about how to bring up the topic but seeing how tired he was he knew it wasn't the time to talk about it.

"Cas?" Dean called as he took off his famous trench coat.

"Dean."

"There's something that..." Dean cleared his throat. "Are you free on Friday?"

"Why?" Castiel furrowed his eyebrows.

"Could you stop by Karaoke at midnight?" Dean asked nervously. This was going to be harder than he thought.

As long as you notice
I'm hoping that you'll keep your heart open
I'll keep mine open too

Dean's knees were shaking as he walked towards Castiel, his shift was over and the older man was at a table waiting for him.
His breathing was a little labored but he kept a neutral expression as she approached him.

"Shall we go?" Dean smiled sideways, drawing Castiel's attention. He kept his eyes straight ahead watching a couple singing and nodded.

Dean said goodbye to all the waiters he encountered, some of them looking at Castiel in surprise, probably thinking that this was the guy who kept Dean sighing at work. They walked through the streets of New York without a fixed direction, as it was the weekend there were still many people on the street. Dean was mentally preparing to start the conversation, he had rehearsed all week what he was going to say.

"So..." Castiel said breaking the silence, Dean looked at him. "What are the plans?"

"Uhh..." Dean hadn't thought about it, he spent his time preparing a speech and he never thought about what they would do or where they would go. "Do you know any quiet place?"

If you don't ask, I won't tell
Just know that, just know that
It all hurts, it all hurts just the same

"Table for two," Castiel said to the waiter. He nodded and guided them to a table in the corner, it was the perfect place. "Can I now know what we are doing here?"

Dean let out a sigh and opened his mouth but closed it immediately, he had just completely forgotten what he wanted to say to him, his hands began to tremble, Castiel's gaze pierced his soul, they were penetrating and cold as always, he thought of cowering but he was already done. in front of him and there was no turning back.

"You are a great roommate." Dean began looking into his eyes. "You became very important to me."

"Are you finished with me?" Castiel asked, frowning.

"What?" Dean cocked his head.

"You asked me to talk because it was something important, you're making compliments, we're in a bar." Castiel began to list. "Are you going to move or something?"

"No." He shook his head. "Do you want me to move?"

"That's not what I said."

Something is wrong, I can't explain
Everything changed when the birds came
You'll never know what they might do if they catch you too early

"Just, let me keep talking," Dean said shaking his head, he cleared his throat, he was getting even more nervous, he tried to take a deep breath to calm down but Castiel's eyes on him were killing him.

"Are you okay?" Castiel raised an eyebrow, Dean nodded, he hadn't even gotten like that with his parents.

"I-I was saying..." Dean swallowed. "I like you and living with you..." Dean's voice began to tremble. "Living with you is incredible."

"Are you ready to order?" The waitress asked, interrupting Dean who, without thinking twice, ran away from the table. The two of them watched him disappear.

We need to fly ourselves before someone else tells us how
Something is off, I feel like prey, I feel like praying

Dean looked in front of the mirror and breathed thought once more. The bathroom was empty, luckily for him.

"Come on, Dean." He spoke to me in the mirror. "You can do this."

Or maybe he shouldn't. Why did he agree with his friends?
He could get over Castiel if he wanted to, it was just a stupid crush, just another whim, it was just to annoy his parents even though they didn't know it.
He wet his face and took a deep breath.

"Is for my good, Is it for my good?" he questioned. "I have to do it, we have to clarify this... but if I don't have to do it, give me a sign." He looked at the ceiling in the hope that someone stopped him.

As long as you notice
I'm hoping that you'll keep your heart open
I'll keep mine open too

"Sorry, I forgot I had to make a call," he said once he took a seat across from Castiel. Novak just nodded.

"I ordered two beers," Castiel said. "I didn't know if you wanted anything special."

"That's good." Dean nodded. "Well, I think I'd better get straight to the point."

"I'm all ears."

"I want to ask you a question, but promise me it won't affect anything." Castiel tilted his head.

"I don't know if I can guarantee you anything."

"Cas, I'm not joking." Dean rested his hands on the table. "It's something serious."

"I'm serious too."

So, so, I'll probably take you aside
And tell you what's on my mind

"Well, I'll ask anyway." Dean nodded. "What's going on between us?"

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked.

"You kissing me, lying to your brothers about our supposed relationship." Dean knew there was no turning back. "Us hanging out together, holding hands."

But you, you'll just keep it inside
Probably tell me that you're alright

"It just happened." Castiel shrugged. "Don't ask me for an explanation."

"Friends don't do that," Dean pointed out. "Roommates don't do that either."

Something is wrong, I can't explain
Everything changed when the birds came

"What are you trying to tell me?" Castiel crossed his arms. "Are we a couple or something like that?"

"No, I just want to know if you understand what's happening here."

"What's going on here?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

You'll never know what they might do if they catch you too early
We need to fly ourselves before someone else tells us how

"I don't know." Castiel looked away.

"You don't know?"

"I didn't think about it."

"And the next few times you didn't think about it either?" Dean was trying hard to keep his words from sounding aggressive. "You kissed me and never talked about it again... like it was something all friends do."

"If it bothered you so much, why did you do it?"

Something is off, I feel like prey, I feel like praying

"I kissed you on New Year's, I have justification."

"I also have justification." The two looked at each other intently. The waitress broke eye contact by placing the beers on the table.

"I knew this wasn't a good idea." Dean said to himself regretfully, he looked around, avoiding Castiel's gaze at all costs.

If I run away I'll never know
(What you want) And if you go then I'll never grow

"I won't do it again if that's what bothers you," Castiel said. Dean gave a wry laugh.

"If only you hadn't done it..." He looked at Castiel. "Dave and I would be together."

"Dave was an idiot," Castiel blurted out. "I was upset about what happened but he was also dating half of the college..."

"How do you know that?" Dean frowned, he and Dave still didn't have anything serious but he stupidly thought he was the only one.

"I have eyes," Castiel said. "And friends."

Dean didn't want to continue this conversation, he wanted to get out of there.

"Were you spying on him?"

(I'm undone) Let me slip, let me slide
(If you run) I'll be sure to let you fly

"No, the information always reached Meg." he shrugged his shoulders "Is that why you invited me? To let me know you want to be with Dave?"

"No, we are not here to talk about him." He shook his head."That ship sailed a long time ago."

"And it's my fault."

Something is off, I can't explain
You know what I mean, don't you?
Something I saw, or something I did that made me like this
Could you help me?

"Yes, it is." Dean nodded, lying to Lucifer caused Dave to leave but Dean was no longer interested in Dave, someone else had his attention.

"Thank you." Castiel looked away, that comment had affected him. "So this is an intervention."

"It's not." Dean looked at the beer mug.

"We've probably been sitting here for twenty minutes." Castiel looked at his cell phone. "And you still haven't told me anything."

"I just can't." Dean took a big drink from the beer jar. "It's not as easy as I thought and even less so if it's about you."

We need to fly ourselves before someone else tells us how
Something is off, I feel like prey, I feel like praying

"I'm lost." Castiel leaned against the back of the chair and crossed his arms.

"Me too." Dean nodded and laughed nervously. "There's a lot I need to say, but I want to know why?"

"Why did I kiss you?" Castiel said, Dean nodded and then something clicked in Cas' mind.

Something is off, I feel like prey, I feel like praying

Castiel didn't want to talk about it, he spent six months repressing any thoughts about the first time he kissed Dean, he had been vulnerable at that moment and wanted to take it out on Dean by drinking but his impulses betrayed him. When he did it again while sober, he knew there was no turning back.

And he never thought about it, he never wanted to think about the consequences of kissing him. He just wanted to do it.

So, so, I'll probably take you aside
And tell you what's on my mind
But you, you'll just keep it inside
Probably tell me that you're alright

"The first time we were drunk Dean." Castiel shrugged his shoulders. "And then he just showed up..."

"Is that your justification?"

"No." Castiel wasn't going to say it out loud, nor did he dare to think about it. Dean looked away desperately, Castiel rolled his eyes. "I don't know Dean, I like kissing you."

So, so, I'll probably take you aside
And tell you what's on my mind

"Is that what you wanted to hear?" Castiel asked annoyed.

"I didn't really know what to expect." Dean looked at him perplexed.

"Could you tell me what you're getting at with this?" Castiel rubbed the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh.

He knew that Castiel's patience was at an end, but now more than ever he felt afraid when he saw those intimidating blue eyes looking at him impatiently, he didn't want to feel Castiel's indifference when he opened up to him, when he confessed that he was probably in love and he didn't want him to. Things would change between them if he didn't feel the same.

But you, you'll just keep it inside
Probably tell me that you're alright

"I can't do it," Dean said almost in a whisper, he couldn't talk about his feelings towards a person if that person was upset and impatient.

"I thought we were going out to do something, not to see you chicken out." Castiel pointed out and Dean knew he was right, he took a deep breath.

"Just let me talk and don't interrupt me."

I don't want to fight

"As I said at the beginning, I had a wonderful time with you, you kissed me and I didn't think that was going to affect us." Dean shrugged his shoulders. "It was just a kiss but it kept happening and I started to feel different, I ignored it because so long that it is impossible for me to do it anymore."

Dean looked down, Castiel kept his gaze fixed on him analyzing his every move.

"I know you think there's nothing between us." Dean played with his fingers. "Cas, I think I'm falling in love with you and I'm afraid this will ruin our friendship."

I don't want to fight

Castiel watched him carefully, impossible to decipher as always. Dean felt his body tremble and he knew that at any moment his voice would too. Castiel was quite an intimidating man.

"I care about you more than anyone and I am so grateful for having met you, because you have allowed me to meet the real Castiel, because you are not the person that everyone thinks." Dean smiled "Thanks to you I was able to tell my parents who I really was and you were there. there to pick up my pieces and help me heal, because you always care about me."

Castiel remained expressionless, it didn't even seem like his eyes showed any feeling and suddenly Dean felt humiliated, he had never talked about his feelings so directly and much less when the feeling was not mutual. Castiel's gaze seemed to judge Dean and he suddenly felt very small and helpless before Castiel.

"I-I have to go." Dean stood up and put money on the table as quickly as he could, Castiel took his arm and looked at him.

"Aren't you going to listen to me?"

"I don't want you to break my heart, I'm not ready." Dean said and then ran away, he definitely didn't want to hear Castiel telling him There's nothingbetween us directly.

Was he a coward? Yes, he was. But he had never fallen in love and he didn't want that illusion to end so soon, although it was already too late.

I don't want to fight

Chapter Text

Dean didn't return to his apartment that night.

Sid received him at his apartment without exchanging a single word, his friend had not wanted to ask him how it had gone, but she deduced that it was pretty bad from Dean's face.
On Saturday Lee showed up to try to talk to his friend, who preferred to avoid the topic but that didn't mean that Castiel was on Dean's mind, he didn't want to lose him and much less walk away but he knew that nothing would be the same.
There was no turning back.

His friends spent the entire day cheering him up and at night they accompanied him to work, where he did his best to smile and serve customers.

"He didn't tell you anything?" Lee asked Sid as they watched him work in the distance.

"No, he just appeared crying at my door." Sid made a face. "He spoke with difficulty when you arrived."

"Do you think they fought?"

"I don't know, but Castiel is a cold and direct guy." Sidney admitted. "I don't doubt that he rejected him in a bad way."

"What's going to happen now?" Lee asked. "Will she never talk about Castiel and will he move in with you?"

"I don't know, I don't think he's even thought about it." Sydney shrugged. "Castiel is more special than he seems to Dean."

"What are you talking about?"

"Because he is the first person he has fallen in love with." Sid said and Lee was surprised. "I thought you knew."

"No, I thought that one of his girlfriends had been his first love."

"Well, there is no manual on how to fall in love, or at what age."

"That surprises me even more coming from Dean."

"Should we talk to Castiel?"

"And tell him what?" Lee said excitedly. "Hello, you hurt our friend, you're an idiot, now fall in love with him."

"No, silly." Sid laughed. "If Dean doesn't want to tell us what happened, maybe he will."

"Yes, like Castiel loves sharing his life with strangers." Lee smiled sarcastically. "Maybe we should give Dean time and then make him talk or think about his future."

"You probably just need space."

Sunday morning Dean returned to his apartment to get clothes at the time he knew Castiel was going for a walk or to the hospital and fled before he showed up. After organizing his ideas he sat down in front of his friends and explained to them what an idiot and coward he was.

"Once again, why didn't you let him talk?" Lee said.

"Because I was afraid to hear his words."

"Were you afraid that he would love you?" Sid asked, confused.

"I was afraid that he would reject me." Dean looked down. "I know it's stupid, but I didn't want to listen to it."

"You're an idiot," Lee said, earning an elbow from Sid. "Ouch!"

"I know."

"Dean, you have to fix this, you can't hide forever." Sidney told him.

"I will at some point, for now I just don't want to think about it."

"This is a bad idea." Lee refused.

"I know, my whole life is a bad idea."

Dean didn't return to the apartment all week, he didn't want to meet Castiel or have to face reality. He suffered all week in silence but homework and work helped him forget about it for a few hours.
Two more weeks passed without returning to the apartment, Dean still avoiding the topic and it seemed like he would never face the situation.

On Saturday night, while he was on his shift, Dean had to sing his first song. Every third Saturday of the month, the waiters would hold a small raffle where the names of all the employees were listed and when 10:00 pm came sharply, the name that came out had to go up and sing a song.
Saturdays were for themed karaoke and on this occasion the theme of the songs was love, he spent an hour deciding on his song and when 10 o'clock struck he went up on stage and introduced himself to everyone, it was dark and the light shone directly on his face like this. that he could not see the public or his colleagues applauding him.

"Welcome to another night of waiters." The DJ began to speak. "This time we have a first-timer at the microphone, please be gentle with him and welcome Dean."

Everyone applauded and Dean walked up to the microphone, cleared his throat and smiled a little nervously.

"Hey everyone." Dean smiled. "This is my first time singing outside the shower."

The audience laughed and Dean smiled.

"Any reason why you chose this song?" Asked the DJ.

"Yes, but he's not here," he said, making a face. Everyone in the audience made a mysterious noise.

-That's why he's gonna regret not having heard this song."

I'm alone, yeah, I don't know if I can face the night
I'm in tears and the cryin' that I do is for you
I want your love
Let's break the walls between us
Don't make it tough
I'll put away my pride
Enough's enough
I've suffered and I've seen the light

Dean let himself go with the song, if he wanted to talk and vent that was the time.

Baby, you're my angel
Come and save me tonight
You're my angel
Come and make it alright

Don't know what I'm gonna do 'bout this feeling inside
Yes it's true, loneliness took me for a ride, yeah, yeah
Without your love I'm nothing but a beggar
Without your love a dog without a bone
What can I do? I'm sleepin' in this bed alone

The audience sounded surprised by his voice and applauded when he hit high notes.

Baby, you're my angel
Come and save me tonight
You're my angel
Come and make it alright
Come and save me tonight
You're the reason I live
You're the reason I die
You're the reason I give
When I break down and cry
Don't need no reason why
Baby baby baby

Every time he closed his eyes, Castiel came to his mind and sang with more feeling, he was putting all his heart and soul into the song.

You're my angel
Come and save me tonight
You're my angel
Yeah, come and make it alright
You're my angel
Come and save me tonight
You're my angel
Come and take me alright
Come and save me tonight
Come and save me tonight
Come and save me tonight
Come and save me tonight
Come and save me tonight

At the end of the song the audience applauded and cheered, Dean smiled shyly, his mother had always told her that she had a very beautiful singing voice but she had never believed her, not until now that people were applauding her.

"Tip of the night, if they're not going to love you like Dean, that's not it." Said the DJ, earning everyone's applause once again. "We all deserve a Dean in our lives."

Dean smirked, while everyone continued applauding.

"Dean, if the reason doesn't want you, I'm sure there are many who would kill to be with you." Said the DJ. "One last applause for Dean."

Everyone clapped and cheered again as Dean walked off the stage thanking them for the applause. Many of his classmates asked who the song was about but Dean refused to say his name, Tess shooed them all away to leave Dean alone and congratulated him on his song.

While he was at the bar serving a customer, five songs after his he heard an all-too-familiar voice over the speakers. Dean almost had a heart attack when he saw him on stage, at one of the tables he located Meg and Balthazar who were cheering him on from the audience. Castiel was drunk because his words were slurred when he spoke and he seemed too outgoing.

"Any reason why you chose this song?" The DJ asked him.

"Yes, I want to confess something." Castiel said, everyone made sounds of excitement. "You know who you are."

"Very well, you know who you are this is for you." Said the DJ.

You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you

Dean stopped to watch him sing, despite being drunk he didn't sing that out of tune.

Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothin' else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you

He pinched himself to know if this was real, was Castiel proposing to him?

I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I've found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you

People began to cheer him for singing with great feeling.

You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

Dean couldn't look away, his head was short circuiting.

I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I've found you, stay
Oh, pretty baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby

Everyone applauded, even his classmates were surprised at how well he had sung. Dean remained still.

"Another lucky person." Said the DJ. "I seriously hope that person knows what you feel."

"Now he knows." Castiel nodded looking forward.

Dean stopped listening to his surroundings and kept his eyes fixed on Castiel, who came down from the stage and went to sit with his friends who congratulated him. Around midnight Dean finished his shift and as he was about to leave Castiel appeared in front of him.

"Oh! You scared me," Dean said, putting a hand on his chest.

"Take me home," Castiel said staggering. "Please."

"What about Meg and Balthazar?"

"I don't want them, I want you."

"Cas... you shouldn't be here." Dean sat him down in a chair and stood in front of him.

"I wanted to see you," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I never see you anymore."

"It's better that way."

"Do you know what is best for me?"

"Don't do this now, you're drunk."

"Be with you? Tell you I miss you?"

"Cas, you can regret this."

"If I don't do it while drunk, I never will."

Dean looked him in the eyes carefully.

He looked for irony in his eyes but he seemed to be very serious. Castiel looked at him for a few seconds and then stood up, as best he could he walked towards the exit ready to leave alone but Dean couldn't allow that.

"You're not going anywhere alone." Dean walked next to him as they looked ahead, Castiel could barely stand.

Luckily for him, the apartment wasn't too far walking distance, Dean was a little scared because of how late it was but he managed to get Cas back to the apartment safely.
He set it down on the couch and let out a sigh.

"Just let me talk," Castiel said pouting, Dean wanted to kiss him.

"No, we'll talk tomorrow."

"Not tomorrow, today."

"Don't do it."

"What...what are you afraid of?"

"Afraid?"

"I-I think you're afraid to listen to me..." Castiel tried to point at him with his index finger. "I think... that you don't want me to like you..."

"What are you saying?"

"Dean, I feel something for you... I don't know what it is." Castiel laughed. "I don't know what it is."

Dean was watching him carefully, he didn't know what he really wanted, he was just sure that he wanted to be close to Cas.

"Cas, let's continue this in the morning." Dean touched his shoulder and Castiel pulled him by the arm, causing Dean to lose his balance and fall into the older man's lap. They looked at each other in silence for a few seconds and before Dean could protest, Castiel smashed his lips with the Winchester's.

It was a slow kiss that had started out a little rough, but then he began to kiss him hungrily, Castiel began to caress Dean's back and began to trace a path of kisses over his neck.

"Cas..." Dean said in a whisper, keeping his eyes closed as he stroked his hair.

"I missed your lips..." Castiel came back and gave him a long kiss on the lips. "I missed your voice... This apartment was so empty without you."

"I thought about you every day," Dean said between kisses. He began to unbutton Castiel's shirt while he placed kisses on his chin and neck. Castiel took off Dean's shirt and they joined in a hug.

In the blink of an eye Dean was straddling Castiel's lap while they were kissing passionately, the two were moving their hips to cause friction, each time increasing their speed, Dean had Cas surrounded by the neck while the older man guided Castiel's hips. blond. In the apartment all they could hear were gasps and small moans from both of them. Dean stopped and began to unbutton the fly of Castiel's jeans desperately, with the palm of his hand he caressed his member over the older man's boxers.

"You're so hard," Dean said smiling as he continued to move his hand, he stopped at the head and pressed a little with his thumb causing Castiel to gasp.

"Dean..." Cas said needily, Dean smiled satisfied with the reaction and continued stroking the erect member, he was taking his time but Castiel was desperate. "You're going to drive me crazy..."

"And this is just the beginning," Dean said, pulling Castiel's boxers down suddenly. He took it in his fist and began to move his hand up and down while Castiel let out small moans and occasionally raised his hips in search of more friction. Dean wanted to taste it, he needed to, but he needed it inside too.

He jumped to his feet, hearing Castiel protest that he had stopped, but was soon rewarded when he removed his jeans and boxers in a single tug. Castiel seemed to devour him with his gaze while Dean knelt in front of him and turned his back to him, showing him his well-formed ass, he sucked his index finger while Castiel watched him attentively, he inserted a finger inside him, Cas let out a gasp and lowered his hand to his own length, he began to caress himself as he watched the blonde prepare himself in front of him.

"This is the best fantasy..." Castiel said breathlessly, Dean smiled as he continued opening for the older man, when he inserted a second finger he began to move them as if they were scissors, he wanted to get ready as quickly as possible. "Dean..."

"Yes, Cas?" Dean said in a moan, trying to sound innocent.

"Come here or I'll come to you..." Castiel's voice sounded huskier and more lustful, Dean smiled and stood up, walked over to Cas and once again straddled his lap.

Castiel took the base of his member and began to insert himself inside Dean. Dean gasped when he felt the head enter. It took several seconds to fill him completely. They waited another few seconds for Dean to get used to it and then he began to move slowly, going up and down. going down. Castiel couldn't hold back any longer and lunged hard, raising his hips, earning a loud moan from Dean.

"You're...you're so tight," Castiel growled.

Castiel's mind clouded and he began to thrust hard into Dean while the blonde could only moan, he couldn't even form coherent words. Castiel had fantasized about this moment many times but none of them matched what he was feeling, he was having the best sex of his life and with his roommate.

"Cas... Cas..." He kept his eyes closed while he moved.

Dean couldn't stop moaning as he moved his hips in the same rhythm as Castiel's, sometimes they synchronized, sometimes they collided with each other, but they never slowed down. Dean moaned very loudly and Castiel loved that, he had always wanted to be the one to provoke those sensations in the blonde and Dean always thought about Castiel when he played with his prostate. He knew that tomorrow he wouldn't be able to move but it would be worth every second.
He was riding Castiel as if his life depended on it, he had never felt as excited as in that moment, within a few seconds he felt that his orgasm would not take long to arrive.

"Caaass..." Dean managed to say while he met his eyes. "I..."

"Come... in me..." Castiel said as he thrust into him harder, Dean screamed louder and let himself go.

"Cas! Ahh Cas!" Dean felt tickles in his belly as he ended up in Castiel's abdomen, this made him even hornier and he continued pounding into him until he achieved his own orgasm.

"Ohhh yes! Dean...so good." He said panting. They fell onto the couch exhausted, Castiel pulled out of Dean leaving a trail of cum in his wake.

Tomorrow they would worry about this, for now he just wanted to enjoy it.

Dean reached over and grabbed the blanket they always kept on the armrest and with what little energy he had left he covered them both and laid down on Castiel's chest.

Chapter Text

When Castiel opened his eyes he looked around, he was alone. He sat up on the couch and looked down the hallway, everything seemed to be intact.

So if he had dreamed it... he felt a pang in his heart and looked down, he could never tell Dean what he felt, he didn't have the courage to do so.

He fell onto the couch and let out a sigh, he could imagine the voices of his friends telling him how stupid he was for not looking for Dean.

three weeks before

Castiel was sitting next to the hospital bed where his older brother was still in a coma, he looked at the floor, luckily for him he had the whole day with his brother, Lucifer had left when Castiel had appeared, he could be alone with his brother preferred and that was what I needed at that moment.

"And then he left me alone in the restaurant..." Castiel played with his hands, after a long pause he looked up and looked at his brother. "I couldn't tell him..."

Castiel had not talked about Dean with Gabe until that day, whenever he visited him he would put on a playlist with all the songs they sang when they were children, he would talk to him about the good memories he had in his childhood, sometimes about college and his friends. Dean had been the exception.

Meg had taken it upon herself to tell Balthazar and Alex about Dean, she admitted that when he was drunk she even mentioned him but he was just her sexy roommate and nothing more.

He kept hope in his heart that Gabe listened to everything he said, that one day he would open his eyes and see him laugh once again, he wanted to remember his voice that would probably be deeper but would still be Gabriel.

"You probably would have kicked my ass and dragged me to Dean to tell him." Cas smiled. "You would have loved it... Dean... Dean is special, he knows how to win the hearts of others without even trying." Castiel nodded with a smile. "Would you tell me something like don't let him go little brother, he's the one, no one is going to cook for you like him..."

Castiel had taken all day to talk to him about Dean, it comforted him to think that Gabe was listening to him. When they were children due to their absent parents, Michael was the one in charge of taking care of his little brothers, he always fought with Lucifer for his rebellion and the only one who cared about Castiel was Gabriel, he always defended him from his older brothers, he was the only one who accepted him for who he was.

"I still have nightmares about that day." Castiel will never forget that look of contempt from his mother after the accident. "I know it's my fault that dad died and that you are here... our family was ruined because of me."

Castiel looked at the sky through the window, wondering if there was life after death, if his father was still among them or if perhaps she was watching them from above. The door to the room opened slowly, his sister Hannah entered and was surprised to see her younger brother there.

"How strange to see you here." He closed the door behind her and approached a small table where there were flowers. He left his bag and looked at the vase of flowers with contempt. "Did you really bring flowers to my brother?"

"He is also my brother," Castiel said defensively.

"For a gay person, you have terrible taste in flowers," Hannah said, shaking her head.

"Did you come to attack me?" Castiel crossed his arms.

"I wouldn't have come if I knew you were here," Hannah said. "Why don't you go play house with your boyfriend instead?"

"Don't get into my life." Castiel said annoyed between his teeth.

"Yes, sorry, I forgot that you are trying to move on with your life." Hannah nodded. "You took away Gabriel's opportunity."

"Insulting me is not going to wake him up." During those almost 4 years his brothers and his mother had insisted on hurting him, blaming him for the death of his father and Gabriel's coma but Castiel had learned to ignore them. .

"I wish it were like that." Hannah looked at him with contempt. "I wish I could exchange you for dad."

"Thank you Hannah, that's very nice of you. Anything else you want to add or are you done for today?"

"That's all for today." Hannah nodded and showed Castiel the door.

Castiel looked at his older brother once more and let out a sigh, he knew that if Gabe was listening to this it would hurt him. He stood up and left the room, it was getting dark and he would have to return to that empty apartment.

On Monday night he couldn't sleep, he only thought about Dean and he was worried about not seeing him again, not knowing what became of him.
Around 3 am he got up and left his room, when he entered Dean's room he was invaded by his smell, which made Cas feel calmer, but he soon realized that many of Dean's things were missing. ...
He had been in the apartment and had taken his things. Dean wasn't coming back. That squeezed Cas' heart and without a second thought, he fell into Dean's bed where he lost himself deeply.

Two weeks before

"What's wrong Castiel?" Meg asked, looking at him carefully.

"Problems in paradise?" Balthazar asked.

Castiel had been avoiding them all week, he used excuses like he had a lot to do so he wouldn't have to explain to his friends what was happening. His mind was tormenting him more than usual, now it was not only Gabriel's health, it was also that Dean was gone and not knowing if he would see him again soon.

"I'm tired," he answered, looking away from the table, they were having breakfast in the campus garden, they had two hours free and they were taking advantage of them to talk about the final project.

Meg and Balthazar exchanged glances, they knew something was wrong with their friend but they feared it was Gabe.
Not even the two of them knew very well what had happened in that accident, Castiel had never talked about it with anyone, they only knew that there was a big fight in his family that caused a car accident.
They were worried about his friend and hoped that Dean would be there to comfort him.

"Do you want to go to a party next Saturday?" Balthazar asked, Castiel made eye contact with him for the first time in the week. "Maybe it would do you good to clear your head a little."

"Yes... maybe I will." Castiel nodded without protesting. Meg and Balthazar looked at each other again, they had to find a way to talk to Dean.

Saturday, a week before.

Meg and Balthazar were waiting on the couch for Castiel to finish showering, watching a movie but not paying much attention to the story.

"He has been acting very strange." Balthazar said looking down the hallway.

"For two weeks he has avoided us..." Meg said frowning, she saw the door to Dean's room and looked at Balthazar. "I have a suspicion of what may be happening."

Meg stood up and walked to Dean's door while Balthazar watched from afar, Castiel had said that Dean was away, but then why would Meg want to come in?

"What are you doing?" Balthazar looked at her confused. Meg did not answer him and entered the room to be surprised that it was empty, there were some things on the nightstand but when she opened the drawers and the closet there were almost no clothes there, as if Dean had left with the first thing he found. found.

"Aren't we being bad friends?" Alex said when he found out Meg and Balthazar's plan.

"No, we just want to know a little about what happened between him and Dean." Balthazar said, filling a glass with the strongest alcohol he could find.

"Getting him drunk?" Alex said, Meg was talking to Cas while Balthazar prepared a drink.

The party was packed with people, so they went to the garden where after a few drinks Castiel was drunk enough to share information.

"How's Dean?" Meg asked smiling, Castiel looked at her and her smile disappeared.

"I don't want to talk about that." He refused and took another big gulp of his drink. "I don't know."

"Did you argue?" Balthazar asked. "Did you say something to him?"

"No, of course not." Castiel shook his head. "I wish I could have spoken."

"What does that mean?" Alex asked, Balthazar looked at him. "What?"

"Nothing, I thought you weren't in favor of this."

"We're here." He shrugged and they returned to Castiel.

"Dean left." It was the only thing Castiel said, they tried to get him to talk about the details but he just repeated the same thing over and over again with a lump in his throat. "Dean doesn't want to know anything about me."

Wednesday, 3 days before

Castiel had had a terrible start to the week, on Sunday he had woken up with an impossible hangover in Balthazar's apartment, he fled from there before being interrogated and that same day he had gone to visit Gabriel once again, he didn't remember very well what had happened. It had happened on Saturday but he was afraid he had said something about Dean. He avoided them all week once again excusing himself with homework.

He was on the couch falling asleep while he was reading, when suddenly the door opened, he stood still but nervous, Dean was back. Should he hug him? Kiss it? Ignore It?
He didn't know how he should react, maybe he should just approach her and tell her the whole truth.

"Castiel?" He heard another voice and was disappointed, he stood up and approached the door, it was Meg and Balthazar.

"How come you have a key?"

"You gave it to us," Meg said, sounding obvious.

"We have to talk Cassy." Balthazar said."Let me see if I understand," Castiel said shaking his head. "Did you come here because you wanted to talk about how I feel about Dean?"

"Hmm, yes?" Balthazar shrugged.

"I've repeated them ad nauseam," Castiel said, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "I don't feel anything for Dean, we have nothing, we are nothing."

"Your actions say the opposite." Meg interrupted. "We just want you to be happy."

"Ha, as if being with Dean was going to solve all my problems." Castiel laughed bitterly.

"Maybe it won't solve them but..." Balthazar let out a tired sigh from his friend. "Castiel, we know that you have feelings for Dean, something we have never seen in you, not in this way... we just want you to stop Close up and tell him what you feel."

"I wish it were that easy." Castiel told him annoyed.

"The first step is to accept it," Meg said, drawing her attention. "If you admit what you feel, the rest will just happen."

Was he supposed to look for him? he knew that on weekends he was at Kaito. The only thing stopping him was himself, he no longer had anything to lose. And that's how he ended up waking up in his apartment after a drunken bender, he had probably just taken his friends to get drunk with him at a bar and then told them to go to Kaito, but he had to be honest with himself, even if he had seen Dean. He wouldn't have even been able to speak.

The apartment door opened and he assumed his friends wanted to know how his hangover was going. He covered his face with his hands and waited to hear Meg make fun of how pathetic he was.

"How's the hangover?" Dean asked. Castiel growled but then he reacted, it was Dean, he hadn't dreamed it. He stood up suddenly and looked at the blonde in front of him, he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday and was carrying a grocery bag.

"Dean..." It was the only thing he could say. Dean looked him up and down.

"Aren't you going to get dressed?" He asked, blushing. Castiel noticed his nakedness and covered himself with the sofa blanket. "Come, let's have breakfast."

Castiel nodded and followed him into the kitchen, taking a seat in a chair and watching Dean.

Images of what had happened that night flashed in his mind, karaoke and how Dean had sung for him, his friends encouraging him to sing, him kissing Dean, kissing his neck, Dean's voice calling him... He shook his head. and met Dean's eyes. The younger boy smiled at him and Castiel gasped.

They were kissing desperately, Castiel's hands were on Dean's hips, pressing against his, his erections were rubbing quickly, Dean kept letting out small moans between kisses. It was 10 am and they were already against each other in the kitchen, the last month had been intense between weekends together, dates and sex almost daily. The semester was almost over, that meant they had more and more free time to spend together.

They were making up for all those lost months but they hadn't formalized anything yet, it was evident that they were together and in love, that was more than enough for Castiel, they hadn't talked about it since that Saturday and Dean was afraid to find out what was happening between the two, what maybe this didn't mean the same to Cas as it did to him.

Castiel was the first to come on his pajamas, moistening his and Dean's pants, the older man stopped and got complaints from the blonde. He got on his knees and pulled down his pants to discover that he wasn't wearing boxers. The two exchanged lustful glances and without a second thought, Castiel put Dean's length into his mouth and began sucking him.

"Caas." Dean said while he caressed the older man's hair.

Dean began to move his hips. Castiel began to take him deeper into his mouth. He brought his hands to the boy's buttocks and squeezed them to make him go faster. Dean took Cas's head with both hands and began to fuck his mouth as hard as possible. As fast as he could, he moaned as he watched those blue eyes and those lips surrounding him, it was hypnotic to see himself disappear between those lips. Unable to hold on any longer, Dean came with a scream and exploded into Cas's mouth, who swallowed every last drop.
Castiel stood up and smirked.

"I think we should take a shower," he said when he saw Dean so agitated and trying to recover.

It was going to be a simple shower together, but after a few kisses, Dean found himself pressed against the wall, surrounding Castiel's waist with his legs and he was thrusting inside him without mercy.

"Dean, we have 15 minutes to get there." Castiel warned from the couch looking at the screen of his cell phone.

Today they would have their first formal date, Dean had told him that they had a reservation at an Italian restaurant, they would wear suits and spend a nice evening together, if Dean hurried to get dressed.

What Castiel didn't know was that Dean was buying time for the surprise he had planned for him, they would have dinner in the roof garden where Lee lived, which he and Sid had offered to make all the preparations, everything was being put in place while Dean was getting dressed. He had told Cas that they had a reservation at an Italian restaurant but it had only been to throw him off. He was messaging with his friends about how the logistics were going, they had had a mishap with the decoration of the roof garden but everything was going great.

The door to Dean's room opened and Castiel looked at him leaning from the door frame with his arms crossed. The blonde knew how much his boyfriend hated being late. His boyfriend? Since when had he put a label on this?

"There's no rush, we have all night," Dean said as he tried to tie a knot in his tie.

"The restaurant is not going to wait for us all night," Castiel said, looking at the watch on his wrist

"Just trust me, okay?" Dean turned and smiled at him. Castiel watched him silently.

"Do you know me?" Castiel asked indignantly.

"Let yourself go, Cas." Dean approached the older man and gave him a small kiss on the right cheek. "Just for today."

Castiel sighed in defeat and nodded. They left the apartment almost half an hour later.
Dean guided the taxi in the opposite direction to the restaurant and Castiel frowned.

"Where we go?"

"You'll see when we get there." Dean winked at him.

Castiel didn't like being out of control, it made him quite anxious but he tried his best to stay calm.
They arrived at a building that was all apartments, Cas looked at Dean confused and Dean took him by the hand to enter the building.

The blonde greeted the doorman and guided Castiel towards the elevator, he marked the last floor and smiled at the older man, after a few floors Castiel nodded.

"What is this?" Castiel asked.

"It's part of our date."

"This is not the restaurant." Dean laughed and nodded.

"It's our private restaurant." A few seconds later the doors opened, reaching the top floor, then Dean guided him up the stairs and they reached the roof garden.

There were many pretty plants and flowers there, you could see some smaller buildings from there, in the middle of the place there was a small tent with a table for two decorated with lights and artificial candles. Castiel looked at Dean and he smiled.

"I guess I'm a hopeless romantic after all." Dean shrugged.

When he sat down, Dean sent a message to Lee telling him that they had arrived, he felt Castiel's gaze on him while he was typing on his cell phone, he looked up and met Cas's.

"Do I have something on my face?" Castiel shook his head, denying. Dean worried at the thought of him.

"Oh no, was this too much? Should we have gone to some McDonald's?"

"No... this is fine, it's perfect." Castiel looked around and smiled. "I'm not used to details like that."

"You'll have to do it." Dean nodded.

Sid appeared in the door and smiled at them, wearing a simple black dress and two glasses.

"Good night Cas, good night Dean." The girl smiled and put the glasses on the table. "I'm going to be your waitress tonight, in a few more minutes dinner will be ready."

During dinner they talked about how they met and everything that had happened after that, the first impression Castiel had of Dean was: 'this guy has a nice ass but he looks like an idiot' in his words.

"Do you remember the February flowers?" Castiel asked smiling, Dean looked at him smiling, that smile was so beautiful that he would like to see it every day. Dean nodded. "Yes they were for you."

"How do you know? They didn't have a card" Dean frowned.

"They had it when I arrived at the apartment." Castiel looked down. "They belonged to Dave."

"Dave?" Dean raised his eyebrows.

"The card said that he would wait for you on yor special place that day" Castiel nodded. "I guess I was jealous and left the apartment to get someone to spend the night."

"Oh, of course I remember that." Dean grimaced. "I heard it all."

"Did you do it?" Castiel looked at him surprised.

"Yes, you didn't let me sleep." Dean nodded. "But I also wondered how good you were at making him scream like that."

"Do you already have the answer?" Castiel asked and Dean laughed.

"Oh, it's already clear to me." The two smiled.

"So, what was your special place with Dave?"

"I guess he was talking about the place of our first date" Dean clarified. "But it doesn't matter anymore, I'm with you and he's with that guy" 

"I just read the card and threw it in the trash..." Dean laughed.

After dinner they went to the balcony where they looked at the city, it was already a little cold but the view was worth it. Castiel put his arm around Dean's back to pull him closer and Dean slid his arms around the older man's body.

"How come we went so long without this?" Dean asked without stopping to look straight ahead.

"I don't know, but I don't think I can live without this." Castiel let out a sigh and they looked at each other.

"What did the message say?" Dean asked after a while in silence contemplating the city.

"Message?" Castiel frowned.

"When I was in Kansas you sent me a message but then you deleted it." Dean looked at him. "What did it say?"

"Uhm." Castiel looked forward, Dean didn't know he was so shy when it came to feelings. "I was drunk...and I wrote that-that I missed you and wanted you close."

"You're so cute Cas." Dean smiled at him and gave him a kiss.

"Since we are resolving doubts..." Castiel looked at Dean. "Why did you stop bringing "guests" to the apartment?"

"Wasn't it obvious?" Dean asked smiling, Castiel denied. "Cause I started dating Dave and then I fell in love... although I didn't know it."

"Did you fall in love?" Castiel asked incredulously with a frown.

"I fell in love with you and that expression." Dean smiled, Castiel blushed and looked away.

By the time they arrived at the apartment, it was already close to 2 am, as soon as Castiel closed the door, Dean rushed to kiss him desperately and Castiel did not hesitate to reciprocate.

"I've been waiting all night for this," Castiel said, carrying Dean and while they kissed, he took him to his room.

The two looked at the ceiling agitated, they were in Castiel's bed and all of his clothes had been left in the hallway until they reached the room. They had just finished the second round and Dean was ready for a third but he saw that Castiel was serious.

"Are you okay?" Dean rested his head on his hand to look at him from above.

"Yes... I'm just a little distracted." Castiel nodded.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, looking at him, his other hand placed on the older man's chest.

"It's soon the anniversary of my father's death." Castiel took Dean's hand and squeezed it affectionately.

"Oh Cas, is there anything I can do?" Dean asked and Castiel shook his head.

They were silent for a few minutes and Dean fell onto the pillow exhausted. Castiel laid his head on his chest and Dean wrapped his arms around him.

"My brother is also celebrating another year in a coma." Castiel said from Dean's chest, the blonde remained silent and stroked his hair. "I want you to meet Gabe..."

"Really, Cas? That would be an honor for me." Dean smiled.

"Yes, I want you to meet him... but I think that first you should know his story."

Chapter Text

6 years ago

"Children, it's getting late!" Naomi shouted from the stairs.

"Out of my way," Michael said, pushing Cas to go first and go down the stairs.

Castiel rolled his eyes as he walked down the stairs, Naomi was waiting for them at the door, she was carrying suitcases to the car.

"Mom, are you going on a trip again?"

"Yes, this time it won't take more than a month, dad arrives tomorrow, Michael and Lucifer take care of you today, so there's nothing to worry about." Naomi smiled and took out the last suitcase in the house.

"What about my birthday?" Castiel asked following his mother. "Last year you promised you would celebrate with me."

"Honey, I know." Naomi turned around and caressed his cheek. "But I have to work, maybe we can celebrate when I get back, just you and me."

Naomi entered the house again, leaving Castiel, his parents were never there for his birthday, he always celebrated it only with Gabe.

Hannah bumped into Castiel's back because she was looking at her phone and rolled her eyes.

"Ugh, don't get in the way," she told him and got into the car, Castiel looked down and got into the car.

Naomi got into the car after talking to Lucifer and Michael to give them instructions about the house and his siblings. Lucifer would just wait for his younger brothers to go to school to go with his friends to a party, while Michael was upset because he had to come home after college to take care of his brothers.

"And Gabriel?" Naomi asked once inside the car.

"He was combing his hair when I came out," Hannah said.

"I'm going to miss my flight." Naomi looked at the watch on her wrist, rang the car horn and the brunette opened the passenger door. "Why were you late?"

"Beauty deserves to be admired," he told Naomi, his mother rolled her eyes and started the car.

"You are going to have to walk to school because the airport is not on the route." Naomi stopped when they were a few blocks from the school and her children got out. "See you in a month, they celebrate Castiel a lot for me, okay?"

"He's going to have the best birthday." Gabriel put his arms around Cas' shoulders and messed up his hair.

Upon entering the school the brothers separated and Castiel walked to his locker to leave his books and his backpack, when he closed his locker and turned around he found Elizabeth looking at him.

"Hello" Castiel said, Elizabeth smiled sadly at him.

"Hey Cassy." Elizabeth was a very pretty girl, with blonde hair and blue eyes, she was two years younger than him but they were very good friends.

"How have you been?"

"Good," she nodded and crossed her arms a little uncomfortable. "I don't think I ever thanked you for that night."

"Beth, you are my friend, maybe the only one, I would do anything for you." Castiel put his hand on her shoulder. "I wish things were different between us."

"Maybe destiny wants them to be like that." Elizabeth smiled and the bell for the start of school rang. "See you later."

After school Castiel had to stay to train, he hated sports but he knew that only then would he cover credits easily. Some idiot player pushed Castiel when he was distracted and caused him to collide with Benny while Benny was running. Annoyed, the team captain took off his helmet, throwing it on the grass and grabbing Castiel by the collar of his shirt.

"What's your damn problem, Novak?" It was very well known that Benny and Cas were enemies.

"I can ask you the same thing." Castiel challenged him.

"What did you do to Liz?" He asked aggressively.

"It's none of your business," Castiel answered firmly, Benny hit him and everyone watched. Castiel tried to get away and earned another blow from Benny, the blue-eyed man kneed him in the crotch, Benny fell to the grass and Castiel looked at him. "I'm not going to hit you out of respect for Beth."

"Coward," Benny said breathlessly.

"Call me whatever you want."

The coach sent them to the office and Michael had to leave class to look after his brother. Castiel had begged the secretary to take Gabriel out of class but they had denied him.

"Couldn't you have waited until school was over?" Michael asked as they walked to the car. Castiel did not answer. "I was in a final exam, making it up is going to be difficult."

"I didn't tell them to call you," Castiel said in his defense.

Michael looked at him annoyed and didn't say anything else. When they got home, Castiel went up to lock himself in his room and Michael made some calls to the university. Luckily for him the house was huge, so he could get away from his brothers as much as he wanted.

Around midnight, while Michael was watching TV, Lucifer was at some party, Hannah was talking to her boyfriend on the phone, and Cas was reading, Gabriel appeared in his room.

"Oh Rocky, I didn't know you were fighting with football players now." Gabriel said from the door frame, Castiel smiled and motioned for him to enter.

"It was self-defense." Castiel nodded, Gabe closed the door and sat next to him on the bed.

"The beatings make you look tough, just say that Benny was worse." Gabriel smiled at him and winked at him. "Are you going out tonight?"

"Uhm yes, I think." Castiel nodded.

"Well, I'm going to set up the tent in the attic." Gabriel stood up, since Cas had told the truth to Gabe, he had supported him from the beginning and every time he went out at night he pretended to be with him. him in the attic playing so that no one would suspect. "Bring me a cupcake."

"Red velvet like last time?" Castiel asked, Gabriel nodded.

"This is why we are the dynamic duo." Gabriel pointed out. "What will become of you when I go to university?"

"Are you thinking of leaving me?" Castiel joked.

"Of course not, kid, you still have two months to say goodbye to this place." Gabriel smiled at him and left the room.

Castiel looked for his jacket and turned off the light in his room, he heard the window open and someone enter.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel asked in a whisper. "We were supposed to meet at your house."

"I wanted to surprise you, happy birthday." Benny said smiling, Castiel smiled and shook his head, Benny approached and grabbed Castiel by the cheeks and then kissed him, Cas complained due to the blow on his cheekbone. "Sorry, I think I used too much force in the afternoon.

"It's okay, we have to pretend that we hate each other, right?" Castiel smiled sideways.

"Yeah... I guess." Benny grimaced. "If you could just tell me what happened between you and Liz..."

"I can't, I promised not to talk about it." Castiel refused. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I understand." Benny kissed Castiel again, this time he took him by the waist while the black-haired man surrounded him by the neck.

They had been seeing each other secretly for a few months, no one knew that Benny and Castiel liked men and they preferred to keep it a secret.

Present day

"Wait, Benny and you?" Dean asked surprised.

"Dean..."

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe it... he seems to hate you." Dean kept his eyebrows raised as he stroked the older man's hair.

"I guess that night changed many things in my life."

6 years ago

"Dad!" Hannah hugged her father as soon as he opened the door.  "I thought you were coming tomorrow night."

"I managed to advance my flight for Cas's birthday." Chuck left his suitcases on the floor and looked at Michael and Hannah. "Where are the others?"

Gabriel jumped down the stairs and saw his father.

"Dad." Gabriel hugged him and smiled. "Cas will be down in a while, we were playing in the attic and I accidentally sprayed him with insect repellent."

"Is he okay?" Chuck asked.

"Yes, he's taking a shower." Gabriel smiled nervously. Michael frowned but said nothing.

"And Lucifer?" Chuck asked as he went to the kitchen.

"I haven't seen him since the morning." Michael gave him away. Chuck let out a sigh.

"I'm going to take a shower." Chuck headed to the downstairs bathroom.

"We should go," Castiel said between kisses. "It's not safe here."

Benny cornered Castiel against the wall and continued kissing him, the black-haired man let himself go and started kissing him.

The door burst open and the teens separated. Michael looked at them motionless but he maintained an expressionless look. When he saw Benny he automatically recognized him and without thinking he hit him, knocking him to the ground.

"What are you doing?!" Castiel shouted, pushing his older brother.

"Faggots are not accepted in this house!" Michael shouted, hitting Benny. Castiel, in desperation, kicked his older brother's stomach and helped Benny to his feet.

"You better go." Castiel caressed his face. "I'll be fine." Castiel nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, but now go."

Benny ran out of the room and down the stairs, Gabe watched him go down and out of the house, his eyes shot open and he ran up the stairs.

"That's not what mom and dad have taught us!" Michael shouted, hitting Castiel without stopping.

"What is happening?!" Gabriel shouted entering the room.

"This faggot was with the guy who hit him today!" Michael said Michael as he continued hitting him, Gabriel tried to stop him.  "Were you going to suck his dick so he wouldn't hit you anymore? Are you his bitch?"

"Michael!" Gabe pulled him by the shirt, taking him away from Castiel and throwing him to the floor. "Stop saying offensive things, you idiot!"

"Or else what?" Michael challenged him.

"If you mess with Cas, you mess with me." Gabriel looked at him defiantly.

"Why is there blood in the hallway?!" Hannah shouted entering Castiel's room, she looked at Castiel with a face full of bruises, as best she could she stood up and looked at Michael upset.

"I like guys and you're going to have to deal with it whether you like it or not." Castiel said looking at his older brother.

"You don't deserve to live in this house." Michael said and Gabriel pushed him angrily.

"He has the same right or more than you." Michael and Gabriel began to fight while Hannah screamed for them to stop.

Castiel ran out of his room and went down the stairs in a hurry, he needed to be alone, he didn't want to hear any more screams or fights, he just wanted to get out of there, when he reached the door he thought he heard his father's voice calling him but he couldn't stop. He just wanted to go far away.

Castiel ran for a few blocks until he reached the forest where a storm began that seemed like it would last all night, tears escaped his eyes as he ran, he didn't want to be like that, he wanted to be able to love someone without it being a sin, without people seeing it. with disgust, without punishing himself for who he was. He knew his family would never understand, Gabe was the exception.

"What's wrong?!" Chuck shouted entering the room, separating the children from him as best he could.

"Michael started hitting Castiel." Gabriel said furiously.

"Castiel is a faggot," Michael said.

"Shut up, idiot!" Gabriel wanted to pounce on his older brother but his father stopped him.

"Calm down!" Chuck shouted. "We have to find Castiel."

"Did he leave?" Hannah asked, surprised.

"Yes, it's already very late and it's raining, it's dangerous to be alone out there." Chuck let them go and walked to the door, pointing at his three children with his index finger. "I'll wait for you in the car."

He left the room leaving the three brothers in silence.

"It's better that he never comes back," Michael said, looking Gabriel in the eyes to provoke him, but the youngest ignored him.

"Come on, Hannah." Gabriel left the room and looked at his younger sister.

"Go look for him, I'll call his friends' houses." Hannah said, Gabriel nodded.

"Castiel has no friends," Michael said, the two brothers glared at him and left the room.

Castiel was now walking aimlessly tired and soaked. He continued sobbing as his mind went over what had just happened. He hadn't thought about telling his family about his orientation until a long time from now, when he was away from them and he himself felt comfortable. .

"Castiel!" Gabe shouted behind him.

"Gabe?" Castiel looked at him with a frown.

"Let's go home, dad is in the car."

"Dad?" Cas asked confused.

"Yes, he arrived earlier." Gabe took him by the shoulders. "Everything will be fine, okay?"

"I don't think so..." Castiel looked down but his brother forced him to lift his chin.

"Cas, I'm going to be here for you, always." Gabe looked him in the eyes intently. "Neither Michael nor anyone is gonna hurt you."

Castiel nodded and wiped away his tears. They walked to the car and got into the back of the car soaking wet.

"Cas!" His father smiled at him and they made eye contact from the rearview mirror. "You scared us a lot, boy."

"I'm sorry, dad." Castiel made a face.

"Okay, now let's go home, I waited all week to give you your gift." Chuck smiled and started the car. In the distance they heard a roar, a car had just crashed into a tree, suddenly something thundered.

"Cas, get down!" Gabe shouted and everything went black.

Present

Castiel sobbed while Dean comforted him against his chest, he felt the older man's body tremble against his and it hurt him to think of Castiel being a confused teenager, he would give anything because that had never happened to him. He kissed his forehead and continued stroking his hair.

"I had never told anyone." Castiel said with a weak voice. "My brothers don't know how..."

"Why did you keep it to yourself for so many years?" Dean asked sadly.

"I didn't want to cry in front of anyone, nor did I want people's pity." Dean closed his eyes for a moment and let out a sigh.

"I'm here for you, okay?" Dean looked at him, found sad and watery blue eyes, Dean gave him a small kiss on the forehead.

Friday will be Cas's birthday and the anniversary of the accident, Dean knew that difficult dates were approaching. He had asked her to go with him to see Gabe on Tuesday afternoon, since he knew his siblings wouldn't be there.

When they were at the hospital, Dean took a deep breath and followed Castiel into Gabriel Novak's room. He was lying in bed, motionless and very thin, his skin looked quite pale and his eyes were closed. Dean could see the sad expression in Castiel's eyes and walked up behind him.

"Maybe it's not the introduction I'd like to make, but Dean." Castiel looked at him. "This is Gabriel, my older brother... Gabe, Dean is here." Castiel turned to his older brother and asked. He motioned for Dean to speak.

"Gabriel, I'm Dean." Dean spoke a little nervously. "It's an honor for me to meet you."

Castiel grimaced, trying to smile. They each sat on either side of the man in the hospital bed and watched him.

"How old is he?" Dean asked.

"Twenty-four." Castiel nodded, Dean nodded in surprise. "He also once wanted to be a Chef."

"Really?" Dean smiled in surprise.

"He loves sweets and decided that he wanted to dedicate himself to baking." Castiel nodded. "But from one moment to the next he wanted Business Administration."

"That was a big change." Dean nodded.

"Yes, but it didn't matter what he chose." Castiel shrugged. "I always admired him, I still do."

"You two were really very close, right?"

"Yes, we were best friends." Castiel nodded remembering the old times. "We told each other everything."

"Have you told him about me?" Dean asked curiously.

"Yes, I have told him a lot, you would be very good friends." Castiel smiled. "He would tell me to never let you go..." They stared at each other for a few seconds. "But he would only say it because he would want free desserts."

Dean laughed and they looked at Gabriel, out of the corner of their eyes they could see how the sheet moved, they looked at the sheet and looked at each other.

"Did you see...?" Castiel was breathless.

"Yes, yes I saw it." The two looked at each other and then looked at Gabriel. Castiel walked around the bed and left Dean's side to be together, they smiled and continued talking about Gabriel.

"Thank you for letting me meet him," Dean said once they left the hospital. "It means a lot to me."

"For me too." Castiel nodded and took Dean's hand. "I hope one day you can meet him awake."

"Soon, Cas."

-------

It was Friday, a week left until the end of the second semester and Castiel's birthday. When school ended Dean went straight home where he started making Cas some angel food cake. He had asked for the day off from karaoke so he could spend the night with Cas and decided that he would make him his favorite food, they would watch movies and do whatever Cas wanted.

While he baked the cake he went to take a bath, it was almost time for Castiel to arrive and he had to be ready to surprise him. Castiel asked him not to make a fuss about this, nor to organize a surprise party with many decorations, he only told him that he wanted them to be together and he was going to respect that.

When he came out of the bathroom he turned off the oven and started to cook noodles with vegetables and chicken. The door opened and Castiel entered, talking on his cell phone.

"It will be for another time, today I am busy." He was able to hear him speak. "Of course I would like to repeat it, see you later Uriel."

Dean froze, that was the name of Cas' ex-boyfriend, what were they going to repeat? He felt Castiel's chest against his back and his hands encircle his waist.

"I thought today you would do everything I wanted," Castiel said in his ear.

"That's what I'm doing, you asked me for noodles..." Dean said, confused, watching the pasta boil and distracted by what he had heard.

"I said I wanted to see you cook, only in an apron." Castiel began to kiss Dean's neck and Dean's legs trembled.

"I just took a shower," Dean said in a sigh. "If I'm naked I'm going to get dirty."

"You're going to get dirty with a lot of things today, Dean," Castiel said, biting him gently on the shoulder. The blonde smiled and left the kitchen. The black-haired man watched him leave and after a few minutes he returned with the apron covering him from his chest to a little above his knees.

"Happy birthday to me," Castiel said, looking at his back and ass in the air while he continued cooking, Dean smiled and blushed. "What's today's menu, Chef?"

"Noodles, angel food cake and all the alcohol you can drink," Dean said as he began to chop the vegetables.

"I can't wait to try it," Castiel said.

Castiel watched him from the chair, saw his hips sway from side to side and had never felt as lucky as he did at that moment. It wasn't that Dean was naked cooking for him, it was that Dean was pleasing him because it was his birthday, that a man like Dean had noticed him and felt the same way Castiel feels when he sees Dean. As if Dean were a magnet Castiel stood up and caressed his waist while he watched him cook from his shoulder.

"How are you, Cas?" Dean asked, trying not to lose concentration.

"Oh, I'm very good," he answered distractedly, caressing Dean's body. Dean grimaced and assumed he didn't want to think about it. Castiel's hands went into the apron and caressed his abdomen, Dean did his best to control himself while he chopped the vegetable but with Castiel touching him it was almost impossible, even his breathing began to get rough.

"Cas, I'm not going to be able to cook anything decent if you're behind me touching me like that..."

"Then we can order a pizza and have some other fun." Castiel bit his lip as he slid his hand down to Dean's lower hips. "Let's eat and we'll come back hungry."

"How...?" Castiel touched Dean's member and began to masturbate it slowly, Dean closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Castiel..."

"Shh, let me enjoy my gift." Castiel whispered in Dean's ear and that excited Dean more. He moved his hand up Dean's length until he was hard. “Give me the oil.”

Dean handed it to him as best he could and Castiel put some in his hand and brought it to Dean's cock to use as lubricant. The younger boy let his head fall onto Castiel's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"Cas..." Dean said in a sigh, Castiel accelerated the pace of his hand causing Dean to begin to let out small moans, he opened his eyes in a moment of lucidity and turned off the heat on the stove so he could enjoy without fear of The apartment caught fire.

"You're so beautiful," Castiel said as he placed kisses along his neck. The touches became faster and Dean had to stop from the counter because his legs gave out. He was so close, he could feel tickling his abdomen and he knew it wouldn't last long.

"Cas..." Dean tried to speak while he felt the older man's lips on his neck and his big hand pumping him. "Stop... I'm almost there."

"Do it," Castiel said and kissed and bit him on the neck while he increased his speed. A few more touches and Dean let out a cry of pleasure, cumming on the kitchen apron. He panted for a few seconds trying to catch his breath and then sought Castiel's lips.

Novak took him away from the stove and forced him to turn on his heels to face him and kiss him. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's neck while the older man took him by the hips, slowly began to caress his back and his ass.

"Let me please you too." Dean said between kisses and gasps, his hands went down to Castiel's hips.

"You're already doing it." Castiel answered and after a long kiss he walked away for a few seconds when he saw Castiel's confused expression. "Being able to touch you and make you come is the best way to please me."

"But..." Dean blushed once again, nodded and smiled. "Then do what makes you happy."

They kissed again, this time their tongues touched and fought between their mouths while their hands ran over each other's bodies.

"Let's go to bed," Castiel said between kisses.

"What about the food?" Dean answered between gasps.

"I have better plans for this afternoon," Castiel told him and lifted him into his arms, forcing him to surround his hips with his legs.

Dean could claim that this was the best sex of his life, Castiel knew exactly what drove Dean crazy and he did his best to bring him to the edge and then not let him cum, he was getting addicted to this.

Soon they're panting against each other on the bedroom wall, Cas kissing Dean's neck as he holds him against the wall and Dean's moans starting to get louder as Novak pounds into him harder and harder until they're screaming together. Everything is hot. It's sweaty and slippery, but it feels wonderful.

"Make me come, Cas. Come on. Make me come." Dean tells him breathlessly.

Castiel thrusts as hard as he can, grinding Dean's hips down onto his cock. Cas comes with a scream, eyes closing and seeing white. Dean goes over the edge soon after, cock intact, screaming with the intensity of his orgasm and the amount of sensation surrounding him.

They pull away and look into each other's eyes, Dean grabs Castiel and they lie on the bed to recover.

"I still have to cook," Dean said, earning a moan from Castiel.

Hours later they ate the now dinner that Dean had prepared for Cas, Castiel had not had a birthday as special as this since the accident, his two favorite birthdays were when he had turned 10, Gabriel and Cas had crashed a party for a certain Jeffrey, they stole some cake, hot dogs, balloons and ice cream. It felt like a party for him, he never had a birthday party and his older brother gave him the best one.
And then there was this one, turning 21 next to the most perfect boy in New York, with food made especially for him and some beatuful green eyes from someone who never stops talking but who had won his heart.

"Thank you for everything," Castiel said after a pause. Dean looked at him as he took a swig of his beer.

"Anything for you." Dean smiled.

"For a few hours you made me forget everything... I wish I could be like this all my life."

"Well, if I have to do what I did earlier..." Dean bit his lip and laughed, Castiel let out a small laugh. "I think I can help."

After dinner, Dean brought out the angel food cake and placed it in front of Castiel with candles all over the cover.

"That's seventeen candles, I couldn't find any more." Dean apologized and Cas smiled. "Okay, now make a wish."

Castiel took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds and approached the candles, looked at them and blew to blow them out, while in his mind only the phrase repeated:

Don't ruin your happiness.

Chapter Text

At the end of the last class of the week, the teacher appointed several students to stay in the classroom, among them Sid and Dean, the two looked at each other confused, Lee was not with them in that class.

"Do you plan to go on an exchange?" Sid asked as they left the room, the professor had read them a statement about a call to go on an exchange to Europe, Dean grimaced.

"I don't know." He looked at his feet as he walked. "My parents don't talk to me... I can't leave without saying anything... what about you?"

"I don't know either..." Sid shrugged his shoulders. "Lee and I are so good that I don't know if it's a good idea..."

"I don't think Lee will mind you leaving for a semester." Dean frowned.

"It's not that, do you know how difficult it is to maintain a long-distance relationship?" Sid said and Dean automatically thought of Castiel. "It never works, much less if there is such a time difference."

"You're right... I hadn't thought of that." They both made a face.

"I hate double dates," Castiel said as he helped Dean cook.

"I understood it the first time." Dean nodded sarcastically. "It's just that we always spend time with your friends and it would be nice if you got to know mine more..."

"We could spend more time, you and I alone." Castiel winked, and Dean laughed.

"I forgot to buy wine," Dean said complaining after opening the counter door.

"Let's go buy one." Castiel told him, leaving the kitchen quickly. Dean knew that he needed to get drunk. He knew that Castiel didn't feel very comfortable around strangers and despite having spoken to them a few times, he seemed a little tense.  As they went down the building's elevator, they played with each other, Dean just laughing as Castiel kissed him all over his neck.

"Someday I should fuck you in this place," Castiel said between kisses, caressing his hip while Dean had his hands on Cas' chest.

"Cas!" Dean said laughing and pushed himself with his hands to move away a few centimeters. "What if someone discover us?"

"That's the fun." Castiel smiled at him and Dean smiled back, they were going to kiss but the elevator doors opened and in front of them was Benny.

They stood motionless in front of Dean's friend, it was true that Cas and Dean did not hide their relationship but somehow they decided not to show their affection in front of any of their neighbors, due to Castiel's reputation among them.

"Benny..." Dean said nervously without moving even a millimeter. "I haven't seen you in a long time..."

"Same..." Benny watched them with a frown. Castiel cleared his throat and caught the redhead's attention.

"Are you going up?" Cas asked completely seriously while he still held Dean in his arms.

"I uh... I prefer to use the stairs." Benny nodded and headed to the stairs, Dean let go of Castiel and went after his friend.

"Benny wait..." he called him and the older man looked at him.

"What?" He asked sharply.

"Are we ok?"

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"Because... you know, Cas and I..."

"Look, I'm not interested in what you and Castiel have, I just... I don't want to see it."

"Do you have a problem with us being together?"

"Of course I have them, I told you not to go near him, he only brings problems..."

"What about you and him?"

"Excuse me?"

"Benny... I know everything."

"I don't know what that idiot told you but none of that is true, now leave me alone." Benny ran up the stairs leaving Dean perplexed.

"No one knows about Benny," Castiel said after leaving the building. "He hasn't said anything yet."

"Oh, I didn't know." Dean looked down. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

"He's okay, he's your friend and you wanted to clear things up..."

"Just listen to yourself." Dean congratulated him. "How did you become wiser?"

"Fucking a good counselor helped." Castiel nodded proudly and Dean felt his cheeks burn.

They returned to continue cooking and take turns showering, time had run out and they had to hurry.

Sid and Lee arrived on time, they had agreed that it would be a semi-formal dinner, they didn't want something so elegant but not so casual either. Sid was on the couch talking to Cas while Dean and Lee were setting up the table.

"So you're a couple now?" Lee asked as he put the cutlery down.

"Uhm, yeah." Dean shrugged and nodded. Lee stopped and looked at his friend. "What?"

"Haven't you talked about it?" Lee looked surprised and annoyed at the same time.

"It's implied that we're together," Dean explained.

"Dean, you need to clarify this." Lee raised his eyebrows. "To know that you're on the same channel..."

"How are you supposed to start that conversation?" Dean frowned. "What are we?, You know that never ends well."

"You already suffered for him once thanks to the lack of communication."

"We're fine, everything is going to be fine." Dean reassured his friend and they continued cooking, Dean preferred to change the subject. "Do you and Sid have plans for the holidays?"

"Not yet, maybe we'll go with our families..." Lee nodded.

"Is everything okay between you two?" Dean frowned.

"Yeah... it's the exchange." Lee grimaced and turned his back on Dean to put glasses and cups on the table.

"Don't you want Sid to go?" Dean asked surprised.

"Of course I want her to go, she deserves it." Lee nodded and looked at Dean. "But we know it's going to be unlikely to stay together."

"You haven't even given yourselves the chance." Dean crossed his arms.

"Would you do it?" Dean looked away and thought about him and Castiel.

"Distance shouldn't be an impediment." Dean said.

"For what?" Castiel entered the kitchen, Dean and Lee exchanged fleeting glances.

"To travel," Lee said after a pause. "I want to go to Los Angeles but it's too far away."

"And I think I should go," Dean pointed out, Castiel nodded.

"I once traveled to Los Angeles in a car, it took three days to get there but it was worth it." Castiel said and took the bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Why haven't you ever told me about that?" Dean asked and Castiel shrugged.

"The opportunity hadn't arisen." Castiel left the kitchen and Lee looked at Dean.

"You have a very mysterious boyfriend." Lee said and Dean laughed. "Haven't you told him?"

"No, first I want to think about it on my own." Dean nodded and Lee didn't say anything else.

Sid thanked Castiel for the cup and sat down next to him once again.

"Can I ask you something?" Castiel said after a few minutes.

Sid and Cas had been making small talk for the last half hour. Cas wasn't good at making conversation and Sid didn't want to make Cas uncomfortable.

"Sure." Sid nodded and shifted in his seat to be in an upright posture.

"I've always wondered... How long did you know what was going on between Dean and me?"

"What was happening..." Sid repeated. "From the beginning."

"The beginning?" Castiel raised his eyebrows. "Did Dean tell you everything?"

"No, just some things." Sid nodded. "Many times I begged him to tell me what was happening."

"Did you beg him?" Castiel raised an eyebrow.

"Suddenly one week he was fine and the next he was suffering..." Sid grimaced.

"And Dave?" Castiel asked. "How did he feel about him?"

"What's all this about?" Sid asked.

"Just curious..." Castiel shrugged.

"If your question is that you ruined Dean and Dave's possible relationship, the answer is no."

"No?" Castiel tilted his head, interested in knowing more.

"No, you always made him doubt his feelings..." Sydney smiled, nodding. "He always liked you."

They had a pleasant dinner and talked about their anecdotes in the big city, it turns out that Sydney and Lee were nice, after a while Castiel gained confidence and felt comfortable around those present, he saw Dean being happy and that was enough to continue striving for live together.

Lee was a fun and kind guy who at first glance seemed like a jerk, despite having met Sid before, this time he could see her as a sweet girl and like her typical mom-friend, always worrying about others. They treated him with so much trust that Castiel felt part of the group, they drank and had planned to watch a movie but they talked until dawn.

Dean invited them to stay in his room since Sid and Lee had drunk too much and it was close to four in the morning, it was dangerous to go out there. By the time Castiel and Dean were in the older man's bed, the blonde rested his head on the black-haired man's chest and caressed his abdomen.

"How did you have it?" Dean spoke, raising his head to meet Cas's gaze.

"Better than I expected." Castiel nodded, his fingertips gently caressing Dean's back. "We should do it more often, although of course I prefer to spend time alone with you..."

"You say that because you're a pervert." Dean turned around, leaning on his elbows, smiled sideways and looked at Castiel.

"I say this because I..."

Castiel's cell phone began to ring, interrupting him, the two looked at the nightstand and the older man reached out to grab the cell phone, he was relieved of the interruption since he was afraid of what he was about to say. He read Hannah on the screen and froze, her sister never called him, that couldn't mean anything new. As he could, he answered and looked at Dean scared, who looked at him with concern.

"Hannah?" Castiel asked. "It's half past five in the morning..."

"Castiel...- His sister's voice trembled on the other side of the line, she seemed to be out of breath and Castiel felt like the world came crashing down on her. He exchanged glances with Dean, he could see the expression of fear on his boyfriend's face and he was also afraid of what Hannah was about to say, he brought his hand closer and took Castiel's to caress it. "Gabe... Gabe woke up."

All the way Castiel remained silent, he looked at a fixed point while he seemed to be dislocated. He had been left speechless after his sister's words, Dean had decided to accompany him for his safety, since he was not in a position to leave alone. The two were so desperate to get there that they felt nervous. Dean took Castiel's hand since they had left the building. It was his way of letting him know he was there.

"How do you feel?" She asked, not knowing what else to say.

"I don't know." Castiel shook his head after a long pause. "I'm nervous."

"Everything's gonna be okay." Dean caressed the back of his hand with his fingertips.

The elevator door opened showing the white hallway of the hospital and Castiel stood still, his hand tightened on Dean's, Castiel was afraid.

"Cas..." Dean looked at him. The older man looked him in the eyes.

"What's wrong?" Dean analyzed his look, he thought he would be happy about the news about his brother but he seemed confused.

"What if he doesn't want to see me?" Castiel's eyes were glassy and Dean felt his heart break.

"Of course he's going to want to see you." Dean stood in front of him and caressed his cheek.  "You're his favorite brother, now just focus on him waking up."

Castiel nodded and Dean led him down the hallway to where his brothers were sitting outside the room, Michael looking at the carpet while Hannah talked to him. When Dean and Cas stopped, Hannah and Michael looked at them with murderous eyes. Lucifer was probably on his way, since he didn't live in New York.

"The doctor is inside with Gabriel, they are asking him some questions and evaluating him." Hannah said from her place.

"Evaluating?" Castiel asked.

"He was in a coma for many years," Michael said with his typical frivolous voice. "They want to know how much brain damage he has."

Dean knew perfectly well that Michael's words were intended to hurt Castiel, who lowered his gaze. Dean and Michael made eye contact, both glaring at each other.

"Was it necessary to bring your boyfriend?" Michael asked without taking his eyes off Dean.

"Any problem?" Castiel asked.

"He has nothing to do here," Michael said curtly.

"You don't care what I'm doing here," Dean answered.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that fag-"

"Michael, shut your mouth." Hannah interrupted him, everyone looked at the woman, who just looked up and watched them all until she left her doorway sight on her older brother. "If Castiel wanted to bring his boyfriend, it doesn't matter.

Castiel raised his eyebrows at his sister's response but said nothing else. The doctor came out after a few minutes and looked at the brothers, they all stood up and looked at him expectantly.

"We still don't know how he woke up." The doctor nodded and looked at the sheets that he was carrying in his hands. "He will be under observation for a few hours to see how he responds."

"Is he okay?" Castiel asked.

"He just needs recovery." The doctor nodded and walked away.

Dean and Cas took seats away from the others, now they just had to wait to find out if he could have visitors. Around eight in the morning Lucifer arrived, his expression was similar to Castiel's: he was bewildered.

Dean got Castiel something for breakfast at the cafeteria, the wait seemed eternal, but they were patient. The Winchester watched the sunset over the city from the window, there were classes tomorrow, they were the last days, but for now they only wanted to hear from Gabriel. A doctor appeared in front of them and asked them if they were Gabriel Novak's family.

"You still won't be able to receive visits," the doctor announced. Everyone let out confused expressions.

"How long can we see him?" Lucifer asked.

"In a few days." Was the only thing the doctor said. "We are still monitoring him, he may fall into a coma again."

Castiel kept an expressionless look, he just remained silent listening to the doctor. Dean took his hand for support, he felt like it was the only thing he could do and he hated feeling helpless, he earned a look from Castiel and Dean smiled at him without showing his teeth.

"Has anyone already told mom?" Lucifer asked once the doctor walked away.

"I called her a few hours ago." Hannah nodded and put her hands together. "She says she will come in a few weeks..."

"Her other family seems to be more important," Michael said annoyed, Hannah grimaced in response.

When it was after eleven, Michael had left for an early board meeting and Hannah was finishing her semester, they promised to stop by tomorrow to check on her brother's condition. Lucifer and Cas were the only ones left.

"You should go, Dean," Castiel said, putting his hand on the youngest's knee. "Get some rest, there are classes tomorrow."

"I can't leave." Dean refused. "I don't want to leave you."

"Dean, you don't have to be here just because of me."

"But I want to do it, you lifted me up when it was my parents, let me do the same for you."

"You don't owe me."

"I'm not trying to pay you, I just want to be here for you." Dean and Castiel looked at each other, it was a way of telling him that he loved him, even if Castiel didn't know it.

"Kiss now, please." Lucifer rolled his eyes. "You give me diabetes."

Dean and Cas glared at him for interrupting their moment.

"You're so cliché." Lucifer complained. "You hang up, don't you hang up first." Lucifer began to make dramatic gestures.

"It's not my fault that no one can't stand you." Castiel told him, for a moment Dean thought they were really arguing, but he soon understood that they were joking. "You're just jealous of me for having Dean."

"I definitely am." Lucifer nodded. "If I lie about him being my partner, then my brother tries to hit him and then he ends up being my partner, I'm definitely in."

"You didn't try to hit me, you wanted to break my fingers." Dean added causing the brothers to laugh, he was glad to see Cas laugh.

On Wednesday Dean was cleaning the apartment in the afternoon and received a call from Sam, which surprised him.

"Sam?" Dean said, answering the phone.

"Dean!" Sam shouted from the other line. "I entered Stamford!"

"Really!?" Dean shouted excitedly. "Sammy, I'm so happy for you."

"I still can't believe it." Sam sounded very excited. "I would have wanted to go to New York University, to be close to you..."

"What are you taking about? You're in Stamford, that's a hundred times better."

"I know." Sam suddenly sounded sad. "Only I'll be on the other side of the country..."

"We can still meet on vacation, you can come to New York or Cas and I can go to California."

"Cas and you?" Sam asked, emphasizing Castiel's name. Dean realized what he had said. "Did you finally make it official?"

"Something like that," Dean said, biting his lower lip.

"I think I've missed a lot," Sam said. "Tell me everything."

Dean told him about the trip to the Statue of Liberty, about everything that happened when he confessed what he felt and what he was going through with Gabriel, obviously he omitted certain details that he preferred not to share with his brother like how sexually active they were.

"Who are you talking to?" He heard his mother's voice in the background, Dean froze like Sam, that topic was still not mentioned.

"With Gavin," Sam said, trying to hide his nervousness. "We talked about college."

"Oh, end the call." Mary said. "It's time to eat."

"Yes, mom." Sam paused. "I didn't expect that."

"Me less so," Dean said, still nervous. "Maybe you should call me when you're alone."

"I didn't think you were going to ask me that." He said in a whisper. "We talked by message, goodbye."

"Bye, take care," Dean said and hung up. He felt sad about having to talk to his brother in secret and because he almost no longer had the same contact with him.

On Thursday the doctor said that Gabriel was ready to receive visitors, only a maximum of two people could enter per visit. Michael was the first to enter and then Hannah, each of them was with Gabriel for several hours. Castiel asked Lucifer to come in first and fortunately or unfortunately for Cas, visiting time ran out.

Dean rubbed his back comfortingly, they exchanged glances and walked through the hospital hallways in silence. They hadn't been able to have privacy since Saturday night, Cas had missed the last few days of the semester and was practically living in the hospital.
He looked tired and lost in thought, he kept his eyes fixed on the shiny white floor, Dean was watching him carefully, his eyes were puffy with bags underneath, his lips were dry and somewhat pale, his beard was starting to grow and he had only showered twice because Because it was impossible to get him out of the hospital, he wore a clean change of clothes thanks to Dean and also ate something almost reluctantly because his boyfriend forced him to. Boyfriend?

Castiel looked at Dean from the corner of his eye, he looked worried and played with his hands, he was surprised to see how much the blonde cared for him, he knew perfectly well that he didn't deserve it.

"How are you-"

"You shou-"

The two spoke at the same time and smiled, the two remained silent for a few seconds as they continued moving forward.

"How was your last day of school?" Castiel asked, looking at Dean. "Was it yesterday?"

"Yeah, it was good." Dean shrugged and looked ahead. "Cas, I think you should go to the apartment to rest."

"No," Castiel said abruptly. "Until Gabriel is out of here, I'm not leaving."

"Cas, you have to shower and sleep," Dean said.

"I can't leave my brother."

"Visiting hours are until tomorrow." Dean looked at the screen of his cell phone. "In 14 hours."

Castiel remained silent and Dean let out a sigh.

"At least go back and take a shower." Dean gave up. "Take a shower and I'll bring you back in 1 hour."

"Okay," he sighed, exhausted.

When they arrived at the building they met Charlie in front of them, who was leaving the place. He looked at them intently but didn't say anything, as if he were analyzing them. Cas and Dean exchanged glances but decided not to say anything until they were inside the apartment.

"Charlie knows," Dean said, closing the door behind him.

"Benny probably already took care of notifying all the neighbors." Castiel said rolling his eyes. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Dean managed to get Castiel to spend the night at the apartment, he only slept three hours but it had been in a bed after all week. The next morning he took him to the hospital where they waited impatiently for visiting hours. Castiel hadn't wanted to eat breakfast because he was nervous, he just looked at the clock and didn't listen to a single word that Dean was saying to him.

By the time the moment came, Castiel felt like he was about to have an anxiety attack, he wanted to chicken out, run away and forget everything, but this was the only thing he had wanted the last few years of his life, to have Gabriel awake. He took a deep breath before entering the room and saw his brother looking out the window, Castiel closed the door with his back. The sun disappeared through the clouds for a few minutes and then shone again over New York.
Castiel froze in place and watched his brother wake up from him in silence.

"I always wanted to visit this city." Gabriel said without stopping looking out the window. Castiel felt a current run through his body. His voice, his voice was deeper... "And I lived in it for four years, right?"

"Three years and four months," Castiel said, almost out of breath. He looked down with the intention of not meeting his brother's gaze.

"Aren't you gonna sit down?" Gabriel asked, pointing to the chair next to him. Castiel walked and took a seat in the chair, but he still didn't dare to look up. "Well, I think we have a lot to talk about... what have you done in the last six years?"

"I...what?" Castiel frowned and dared to look at his brother, who was just looking at him attentively.

"What's wrong?" Gabriel asked, analyzing his brother's gaze.

"Are you going to act as if nothing happened?"

"I just want to know about you."

"You shouldn't..." Castiel looked away, he felt a lump in his throat that prevented him from speaking. "This is my fault."

"Cassy..." Gabriel touched his shoulder but Castiel walked away, the older man was surprised by the action. "It-it was... an accident."

"I killed dad," Castiel said with bitterness in his voice, he didn't even look at his brother anymore, he just looked out the window. "I put you in a coma."

"But I'm awake, right?" Gabriel tried to smile, but he only managed to make a face. "Cassy, I just want us to move on... I'm not angry, nor do I blame you for anything and of course it hurts me to have lost dad, I may have missed six years of my life but I'm awake, in control of my own life and I can't wait to get out of here to see the city."

"I... I can't see it like that." He met his brother's gaze and shook his head. "I destroyed the family, Gabe."

"Since when do you care about your brothers?" Gabriel smiled sideways at him.

"Since I almost killed you and everyone hated me." Castiel clenched his jaw. "Mom left because of me too."

"You know that mom has never known how to face problems." Gabriel tried to console him once again.

"I'm afraid to see her." Castiel looked away.

"How long has it been since you saw her?"

"Four years, I'm sure she kept in touch with the others but she can't even look me in the eye." His gaze remained fixed on the window.

"It hurts me to know that you are no longer the Castiel you used to be." Gabriel spoke sadly.

"The Castiel from before only knew how to run away from problems when he was afraid," the youngest argued.

"You were a child, you were-you were discovering your sexuality."

"That doesn't justify anything." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Of course it does." Gabriel gave him a weak smile. "Everything else was an accident, a terrible accident." Gabriel closed his eyes for a few seconds. "But I want you to know that I forgive you and I want you to be happy, that you don't. Do not care if others decide to hate you all their lives, stop feeling guilty, I am awake and just as I can rebuild my life, you have to do it too, dad is no longer here but it is the best thing we can do in his memory, live our lives."

"I..." Castiel felt the lump in his throat again and several tears wet his cheeks. Gabriel, as best he could, hugged him in his arms and Castiel began to cry in silence. They stayed like that for a few minutes until they finally separated. Castiel wiped away his tears and Gabriel smiled at him.

"Now can you tell me about these six years?"

Castiel told him that they were in Louisiana for another two years, until they decided to transfer him to New York where the best doctors in the country had treated him. Castiel traveled through various parts of the country just after his brother was transferred, he entered university, He met Benny again and it had been very awkward at first, he met his friends Meg and Balthazar, the first two years (four semesters) had been based on studying and visiting him in the hospital and the next semester... Dean.

Castiel paused and when the name of the Winchester came out of his smiling mouth, Gabriel looked at him attentively, those last six years had been very sad for his younger brother but it seemed that something had changed with that name. He had vague memories of having heard certain conversations of his brothers in his dreams and had recently heard that name.

"Who's Dean?" Gabriel asked smiling, Castiel looked at him.

"It's difficult to explain" Castiel nodded "We haven't talked about it yet... he's my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Gabriel's face lit up and he kept a smile.

Castiel nodded and told him a little about how they met and why they had ended up together. Gabriel was happy because his brother was not as alone as he thought, there was someone who had taken care of him.

"What is he like?" Gabriel asked curiously. "Do you have any photos? I want to see it."

"Yes." Castiel cleared his throat and took out his cell phone and looked for a photograph.

He gave him the cell phone and Gabriel saw Castiel and then Dean, he still had a huge smile despite being exhausted, it was the photo they had taken at the Statue of Liberty.

"Smile Cas." Dean said after wrapping his arms around Novak's torso, wrapping him in a hug, Castiel put his hand on Dean's back and smiled without showing his teeth.

A small smile escaped Castiel's lips as he remembered that day.

"He's very handsome." Gabe said while he was still looking at the photo. "You both look so happy."

Castiel kept his smile as he too looked at the photo, Gabriel looked up.

"When can I meet him?" Gabriel asked smiling, Castiel's smile disappeared and he tried to speak. "Don't keep it to yourself, I have to meet him."

"Are you... sure?" He asked nervously.

"Yes, I need to do it." Gabriel nodded smiling. "One of these days, bring it."

Castiel nodded and didn't mention that Dean had been outside this whole time, he was nervous about introducing them. Although he had already done it once.

"He, uhm, he already knows you," Castiel said without knowing how his brother was going to react.

"Now all the more reason I have to meet him." Gabriel said.

Visiting time ended and Castiel said goodbye to his older brother, promising to return tomorrow morning. Dean was waiting for him outside, still in the same chair where he was sitting when he entered the room, as soon as he saw him he stood up and approached.

"How was it?" Dean asked him and Castiel took his hand to walk away and go to the elevator, as soon as the doors closed Castiel looked at him and smiled, tears began to run down his eyes and Dean remained still.

"He...forgave me." It was the only thing he could say and then burst into tears, but they weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of happiness, of relief. Dean hugged him smiling and Castiel continued crying. A few seconds later he calmed down a bit and, remaining in the same position, he spoke again. "He wants to meet you."

Chapter Text

"Just take a deep breath," Cas said to Dean, they were both nervous about visiting Gabriel.

Two weeks had passed since Gabriel had woken up, he was still in therapy, but it was getting closer and closer until he left the hospital. The couple was outside the room doing breathing exercises to stay relaxed. Suddenly, Lucifer and Jack left the room, it was also the first time that Gabriel met his nephew. Jack smiled as he waved goodbye to his Uncle Gabriel by waving his hand.

"Goodbye Uncle Gabe!" Jack repeated, Lucifer shook his head in farewell and closed the door behind him. When Jack saw Cas and Dean he immediately ran to hug them. "Uncle Cas! Uncle Dean!"

Dean gave Lucifer a look who only shrugged, then turned his attention to Jack and stood over his knee so he was at the same height as him and could hug him.

"Jack! I've missed you, kid," Dean said as he hugged him. Then he looked at Castiel and pulled his hand so that he too knelt, then the three of them melted into a hug.

"Come on Jack, I already have breakfast," Lucifer said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

When they walked away Dean gave Castiel a nervous look, Castiel caressed his back with the palm of his hand and they nodded at the same time. Castiel opened the door entering first and behind him Dean who played with his hands.

"Good morning Gabe," Castiel said, approaching the foot of the bed, when Dean was next to him, he looked at them both.

"Good morning Cassy." Gabriel smiled, every day he was more recovered, he was no longer pale or weak.

"Uhm." Castiel cleared his throat. "Gabe, this is Dean..."

Gabriel directed his eyes towards Dean, who remained silent, observing the brothers. When they made eye contact, he could see that his gaze was nothing like that of his other brothers. He had honey-colored eyes. He was warm and curious, but he was still the same. penetrating than that of the other Novaks, it seemed to run in the family.

"Dean, my brother Gabriel," Castiel said, his gaze traveling from his brother to Dean, waiting for an interaction.

"Hello." Dean said smiling. "It's good to finally meet you."

"I say the same thing," Gabriel said, nodding. "I was very intrigued to meet you..." Gabriel's gaze traveled over Dean and he looked at Castiel smiling. "I approve."

"You've known him for less than five minutes." Castiel said confused, Dean was also looking at Castiel not knowing how to react.

"And I know the whole story, I practically already knew it." Gabriel pointed his index finger at them and shook it.

The first few minutes felt a little weird, but after Gabriel started asking Dean about Castiel, the mood lightened and they were having a great time. Dean and Gabriel had a lot of tastes in common, even Castiel felt like the bad guy after an hour.

"Did you seriously force him to cook at four in the morning?" Gabirel laughed as he looked at his younger brother.

"In my defense, he was too drunk." Castiel defended himself and remembered that day. Meg had forced him to go to that party alone because Alex was one of the organizers, when they left him alone his only entertainment was alcohol and a blink later he was with Dean.

"You have to love him too much to bake at that time." Gabriel looked at Dean and shook his head, Dean smiled and nodded.

"I do." Dean answered without thinking, he felt Castiel's gaze on him but ignored it. "Did he tell you about the time he went to the wrong room and slept almost on top of me?"

Gabriel laughed and Castiel was snapped out of his trance by Dean's sudden confession, he had missed seeing his brother laugh.

"Dean, I don't think it was by mistake." Gabriel said, looking at Castiel, catching his attention.

"I..." Castiel didn't know what to answer, he didn't want to admit it but he ended up letting out a sigh. "My drunk self wanted to be with you."

"Are you serious?" Dean asked surprised, Castiel nodded and the youngest smiled at him. "Cas, that's very cute."

"I already understood what Lucifer meant." Gabe said, looking at them while he wrinkled his nose. The couple turned to look at him with a frown. "They're too cliché."

"People love clichés," Castiel refuted and Gabriel laughed.

"So, Dean," Gabe called after a pause. "Where are you from?"

"From Kansas." Dean nodded.

"And what is Dorothy doing in the big city?" Gabriel joked.

"Living the dream." Dean nodded.

"Cassy told me that you study gastronomy."

"Yes, I always wanted to be a chef." He shrugged as he smiled.

"What about your family?" Dean looked away and his smile turned into an uncomfortable grimace.

"Oh, I shouldn't have asked that." Gabriel apologized, he knew very well that families could be very complicated.

"It's okay." Dean looked at him again. "My parents live in Lawrence and my little brother, Sam, is about to move to California."

Castiel looked at Dean surprised, drawing his attention.

"Is Sam going to California?" Castiel asked.

"Yes, he entered Stamford." Dean nodded and Castiel smiled.

"How long have you known this?"

"A few weeks," Dean said and Castiel frowned.

"Why you did not tell me anything?"

"Why..." Dean stopped and looked at Gabriel and then at Castiel, who nodded.

Gabriel really enjoyed this, he saw his younger brother being happy, having someone who loved and cared for him. It hurt her to know that he was lost for a few years and that his siblings are now adults.
Castiel excused himself and left the room when he received a call from Meg. Dean and Gabriel stood in silence as he left the room, then exchanged glances.

"It's very difficult to see that my brother is no longer a teenager," Gabriel said once Cas closed the door. "I feel like I traveled to the future." Gabriel told him, adjusting himself to see Dean better. "Cas was a lonely child, afraid to accept who he was, but..." Gabriel smiled. "Now he has you, he has his friends. of the race, who would have thought?"

"I can assure you that he had a hard time accepting himself." Dean nodded. "It meant a lot to me when he supported me the time I told my parents."

"Didn't it go well?"

"It didn't turn out well." Dean stated. "But Cas encouraged me, he listened to me and at first I thought it was a pity..."

"But you knew about that night." Gabriel completed the sentence, Dean thought he had done something wrong by mentioning that topic, but Gabriel didn't seem to bother him. "It was a chaotic night..."

"I wish I could have been there for him," Dean said regretfully. "Damn, I wish that had never happened."

"You couldn't do anything Dean." Gabriel told him. "It had to happen like this... if we hadn't had that accident, you wouldn't have met my brother."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because he wouldn't have moved to New York." Gabriel denied. "He would live with me in Chicago."

"That's an optimistic way to look at it," Dean said, looking down.

"It's the only way I need to see it." Gabriel nodded. "I can't change the past and I really appreciate that you are taking care of my brother."

"I like doing it." Dean nodded and smiled without showing his teeth.

"Although I'm jealous, I was his favorite person." He joked. "When you least expect it, I'm going to steal your title."

"I want to see you try it." Dean winked and they both laughed.

"What did I miss?" Cas entered, drawing the attention of Gabe and Dean.

"I was telling him about your irrational love for bees."

"They are wonderful beings."

"Once, when we lived in Michigan, he let the bees create his honeycomb in his room." Gabriel grimaced remembering and Dean opened his mouth in surprise.

"Are you crazy?" Dean asked Castiel.

"I'm not going to discuss my taste for bees," he told them, trying not to laugh. The alarm on Castiel's cell phone rang, he looked at the screen. "Our time is up..."

"That? The visiting hour is not over." Gabriel said.

"Michael asked me to leave the last hours of today free." Castiel made a face and Gabriel nodded. "I guess he's coming to see you."

"Too bad time passed so quickly," Dean said. "I hope to see you soon."

"I hope so too, we have a lot to talk about..."

"See you Gabe."

"See you, Cassy."

The two left the room and exchanged glances, it had gone better than planned. Dean took Castiel's hand and they started walking down the hallway, as they waited for the elevator doors they looked at each other and smiled.

"He adored you," Castiel said, admiring Dean's eyes.

"I adored him." Dean answered, he approached and gave the older man a kiss on the cheek.

When the elevator doors opened, Castiel felt his soul leave his body. In front of him was Naomi, she looked quite changed from the last time he had seen her when she still lived in Louisiana. Her hair was now short and she had it dyed blonde, she was not wearing the classic suit in which he remembered her, she was wearing jeans and a red sweater, she was wearing almost no makeup and she remained expressionless.

Naomi Novak was a loving mother who never had time for her children, work kept her on business trips but she made an effort to spend time with her family from time to time, the one she paid the most attention to was Castiel, who before she used to think He was his mother's favorite but in reality she believed him weak and it pitied her to see that he couldn't make friends nor did he adapt easily like his other siblings. After the accident, she couldn't even see him in her eyes. Castiel had taken away the love of her life and one of his children who was left in a coma, it was something that Naomi could never forgive him. In reality, no one in her family had been able to forgive him for what he did. Castiel spent several years punishing himself, isolated himself from people, was distant, and suffered so many anxiety attacks that he doesn't even remember the first one.
Uriel was their first formal relationship, it didn't last long since theirs was more physical than emotional, Castiel got bored and from there came Mick, who although they never talked about having a formal relationship, they had thought about living together but they fought a lot because Mick wanted for Castiel to show his love the same way he did, but the reality was that Castiel didn'loved him and now there was Dean who didn't understand how he still couldn't get enough of him.

"Castiel." Naomi said with a neutral tone of voice, her gaze traveled from her son's eyes, to their intertwined hands and then to Dean, who felt a shiver run through her body.

"Mother." Castiel answered, Naomi looked Dean up and down and without saying more, she surrounded them and walked away down the hallway.

Cas and Dean exchanged glances again and watched the woman head towards Gabriel's room. As they entered the elevator and the doors closed, the two of them kept their eyes trained on the doors.

"That was terrifying," Dean said, breaking the silence.

"At least she said my name and looked me in the eyes." Castiel said looking forward. Dean watched him silently.

The next morning when he arrived at the hospital, Castiel found out what her mother was doing there, he wanted to take Gabriel to live with her in Canada. Michael and Hannah were arguing with her while Lucifer watched them when he saw Castiel approached him.

"I didn't miss this," he told him in a whisper once they were in front of her brothers and his mother. Castiel looked at him and then at his brothers.

"You tried to disconnect it!" Naomi raised her voice. "Don't want to make me the villain."

"We were taking care of him for years." Hannah said. "Where were you?"

"Playing family." said Michael. Naomi looked furious with her children.

"I don't have to justify myself to you," Naomi said in a calm voice. "I'm your mother and I have the last word."

Castiel remained silent, he knew that anything he said would be refuted because he had no say because he was the culprit. Lucifer didn't care about family dramas, he never got involved, at least not directly, but Hannah looked at Castiel, as if she encouraged him to talk, seeking support. Cas frowned and looked at Naomi.

"We are no longer children," Castiel said, capturing the attention of his entire family. He met the eyes of his mother, who looked at him with resentment. "And you left when we needed you most, a mother does not abandon her children."

"Castiel, you don't..." Naomi warned him.

"Castiel is right." Hannah interrupted her mother. "We were also scared, but you left, you started another family and now you come to want to take our brother."

"Are you seriously agreeing with him?" Naomi pointed to Castiel.

"Yes, because he never left." Hannah said, her voice was firm and she had an annoyed expression. "Because despite the mistreatment we have given him, he always visited Gabe."

"He has the same right as us to oppose you taking Gabriel." Michael said without stopping making eye contact with his mother.

"I'm opposed too." Lucifer raised his hand and looked defiantly at his mother. "Gabe is not going to leave just because you want him to."

"And why doesn't anyone ask me what I want?" Gabriel said from the door, he could barely stand up and looked at his family.

"Gabe, you shouldn't make an effort," Castiel said, he walked over to help him get to the bed again and everyone entered the room. When Gabriel sat on his bed he looked at everyone.

"I'm twenty-four years old, I'm the one who decides what to do with my life," he told his family. "I'm not going to Canada, I'm going to stay here in New York."

"But you still have to recover." Naomi said approaching the foot of the bed.

"I know and after thinking about it these weeks, I decided that I want to stay with Cas." Gabriel nodded, keeping a serious expression and Castiel felt everyone's gaze on him.

"Are you serious?" Hannah asked with a frown.

"Yes, only until I can get my own apartment and I'm recovered."

"Castiel is to blame for your condition and you still want to be with him?" Naomi was outraged by her son's words.

"I've already made a decision," Gabriel told him, "I'm awake and now I control my life, I'm going to live with Cas."

----------

A few weeks later, Gabriel moved into Cas' room, while Castiel and Dean decided to share Dean's room. Naomi left on moving day with the excuse that her stepdaughter was home alone and she promised to visit Gabriel soon.
Now they received weekly visits from the Novak brothers, on weekends they met trying to make up for lost time in some way and Dean was not part of that family, he was left out. He had tried to live with them but he was a stranger there, Michael didn't accept him, Hannah ignored him and Lucifer, well he was always in his world.
Cas and Gabe were very close, they were always together and Dean understood it perfectly, they were family gatherings, no one brought friends or partners.

Luckily, he had returned to work, since he had asked off that Friday, Castiel's birthday, he decided to ask for a vacation on the grounds that he had personal problems, he only did it to support Cas. After talking to the owner, he was able to return, but now he had to take a double shift for the entire time he was gone.

That afternoon, Lucifer took Jack to visit his Uncle Gabe, Hannah promised to bring chocolate chip cookies she used to make when they were kids, and Michael had the idea of having a marathon of Gabriel's favorite movies. Cas lately he was happy, he smiled often and despite his differences with his brothers, everything seemed to be going well.

Before Hannah and Michael showed up, Dean left the room and greeted everyone present, announcing that he had to leave for work but Castiel grabbed him by the arm and took him to the kitchen for more privacy.

"Are you avoiding me?" Castiel asked, there was insecurity in his voice.

"What?" Dean said confused. "No, I have to work."

"Dean, every weekend you disappear for half the day," Castiel said, looking at him with concern.

"I have a double shift," Dean clarified.

"Why are you working double shift?"

"It was the agreement that I reached with my boss, I am covering the weekends that I was missing."

"Dean, you don't need to do this." Cas began to say. "I told you I can pay for everything."

"Cas, it's not your responsibility to support me." Dean shook his head. "I just want to contribute something, okay?"

"It's okay." Castiel let out a sigh and gave up. "Then we'll talk."

"See you later." Dean said goodbye, giving him a short kiss on the lips and left the apartment.

"What does Dean work on?" Lucifer asked when Castiel returned to them and plopped down on the couch.

"He is a waiter at a Karaoke restaurant." Castiel nodded.

"That sounds fun." Gabriel said while he put together a castle with Jack's Legos. "Is everything okay between you?"

"Yes, everything is fine," Castiel said, massaging the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"You don't sound very convinced." Gabriel looked at his younger brother.

"Everything is fine," Castiel repeated, as if he had to reaffirm it, but he just wanted to believe his words.

There was a desperate knock on the door and Castiel stood up to open it, she was surprised to see Charlie in front of him, she looked desperate and scared.

"What-"

"They're fighting." Charlie spoke before Castiel could ask anything and before he could react, she grabbed his arm and dragged him down the stairs. He automatically thought of Dean and Benny, his heart began to pound as they reached the hallway. He was surprised to see Hannah trying to stop Micheal while he was fighting with Benny.

"It's your fault!" Michael shouted as he punched Benny on the left cheekbone.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Benny said after receiving the blow.

Castiel approached his older brother, who was struggling with Benny as they yelled at each other. She grabbed Michael by the shoulders and pulled him back away from Benny.

"What are you doing?!" Castiel shouted at his brother, the older man looked at him and tried to get away without much success.

"Control your damn brother," Benny said while touching his left cheekbone. Charlie ran to hold her friend and gave the Novaks a scared look but you could see her annoyance.

"I'm sorry." Castiel answered, he didn't look directly at Benny but at Charlie just for a few seconds, he still didn't let go of his older brother.

"How?" Benny asked, mockingly putting his hand behind his ear and frowning. "Did you just apologize? To me?"

"What Michael did was unjustified." Castiel said, meeting Benny's gaze, who understood that he was not only talking about what had just happened, for a few seconds no one said anything, until Hannah reacted and took Castiel by the shoulder to capture your attention. Benny looked away and Charlie helped him into his apartment, leaving the Novaks in the hallway.

When they were inside the apartment, Castiel was going to explode and complain to his brother about what had just happened, but when he saw his nephew on the couch, he restrained himself.

"What happened?" Gabriel asked, seeing the bruises on Michael's face. Hannah and Cas left him on a couch and looked at Lucifer and Gabriel.

"Were you fighting?" Lucifer asked in disbelief.

He knew what it was like to witness fights between adults and how uncomfortable they made him feel. He sighed and asked one of his brothers to take Jack to another room. Hannah offered without thinking, because she was tired of arguing and by the time she heard As a room door closed, Castiel looked at Michael.

"Aren't you going to tell us what you were doing?" Castiel asked annoyed. Michael glared at him.

"Who were you fighting with?" Lucifer asked, crossing his arms. Michael looked away and Castiel rolled his eyes.

"With Benny," Castiel said, Gabriel opened his eyes wide and Lucifer frowned.

"Who?" Lucifer asked, Castiel was speechless at the question, he didn't want to explain to his brother about Benny, it was uncomfortable for him.

"Aren't you going to explain?" Michael challenged him, he looked at Castiel and then at Lucifer. "When we lived in Louisiana, Castiel would sneak out at night to be the captain of the school team's bitch."

"Michael, close your mouth." Gabriel said, he looked intently at his older brother. "After so many years, you still can't get over the fact that your brother is gay?"

"I don't care what you like anymore." Michael pointed to Castiel. "Because I don't care about you, but you are the living image of a bad memory, of bad times."

Castiel had had to endure a lot of abuse from his family and from many strangers, because of the accident and because of his sexuality, he had learned to cope with it and even ignore it, but that day, at that moment, Castiel's words hurt him. his brother He foolishly assumed that with Gabriel awake, everyone would leave behind the resentment they had for him, but nothing had changed.

"Why did you fight then?" Lucifer asked, Castiel only remained silent, his gaze was fixed on his shoes.

"Because I didn't expect to see the other culprit living in the same building." Michael pointed to the door. "I needed to break his face, again."

"Because that went well the first time," Gabriel said, nodding sarcastically.

Without thinking, Cas stood up and left his apartment, he heard his brothers calling him, but he decided to ignore them and once again walked away from his problems. He wanted to go with Dean and forget about the others but he knew he was working and he didn't want to bother him. He walked through the streets of New York until he arrived at a bar near the university, maybe with luck he would meet his friends.

He drank from his beer mug while he watched the customers, only Michael's words and some memories of his mother and sister looking at him with contempt passed through his mind. He always knew that he deserved all that but he maintained hope that everything would change. Someone took a seat next to him, he could feel his shoulder rubbing against the other person's, he moved away a little while drinking some beer.

"I didn't know you liked this place." A male voice next to him spoke, Castiel knew perfectly well whose English accent it was.

"Mick," Castiel said looking at him. The Englishman smiled sideways at him. "I didn't know you liked bars like this."

"It's a guilty pleasure." Mick nodded and took the beer mug from Castiel, gave it a drink and returned it, then ordered his own drink and turned to Castiel. "What brings you here?"

"I'm just trying to clear my mind." Castiel nodded and made a face.

"What's on your mind?" Mick asked.

"I don't want to talk about that." Castiel nodded. "Better tell me, what have you been doing?"

"Oh, you know here and there." Mick nodded. "Trying to enjoy being single."

"How was your time?"

"Well, I have met many interesting men." Mick nodded. "But none like you."

Castiel stared at him, the two holding each other's gaze for a long time until the bartender served Mick his drink.

"Cheers," Mick said to Cas and they clinked glasses.

They drank the silence, then Mick started talking to him about when they were dating and Castiel remembered all the good times they had had together, he thought less and less about his problems and he was more drunk.

"Do you remember when we did it in the library?" Mick asked smiling, he was already slurring his words and his cheeks were pink.

"They almost caught us." Castiel nodded but the movement of his head made everything spin.

"That was hot." Mick smiled, he was getting closer to Castiel, he could feel Mick's breath on his cheek.

Castiel turned his head to face him and maintained eye contact for several seconds. He knew that Mick had intentions of kissing him, so he looked away and continued drinking his beer.

Mick said goodbye to Castiel and left an hour later, Cas asked for a glass of water and waited for his drunkenness to subside.
Night had fallen on New York, he didn't want to go back to the apartment but he had to, he couldn't go anywhere else. When he wanted to get away from everyone he visited his brother in the hospital, it was a quiet and peaceful place where he could talk to his brother. When he arrived at the apartment Gabe was alone, he was watching a movie and eating popcorn when Castiel entered the apartment.

"Where's everyone?" Castiel looked around for one of his brothers.

"Lucifer said he needed to take Jack to his mother." He put some popcorn in his mouth. "Hannah just left five minutes ago and Michael, well, I sent him home."

"Did you argue with him?" Cas asked, sitting on the couch.

"The normal stuff." Gabriel shrugged. "What time is Dean arriving?"

"In two hours," Castiel said, looking at the clock on his cell phone.

"Then we have time to talk." Gabriel smiled and turned off the television. "How is everything going with Dean?"

"Everything is fine." Castiel said again. "We are getting used to the changes."

"Have I ruined their passion?" Gabriel asked, raising his eyebrows.

"What?" Castiel wrinkled his nose.

"Oh, come on." Gabriel settled into his seat. "When was the last time you fuck?"

"I'm not going to talk about that with you." Castiel shook his head.

"Cas, I don't want the details, just how long ago."

"I don't know, weeks." He shrugged.

"Weeks?" He asked surprised. "How often do you do it?"

"Gabe, this is very uncomfortable." Castiel complained and his older brother laughed.

"Stop acting like a child and tell me," Gabriel told him.

"Every day." Castiel said almost in a whisper, his older brother raised an eyebrow and Castiel spoke louder. "Every day"

"Every day?!" Gabriel shouted, he began to laugh in surprise. "Now I understand why Dean loves you so much."

"Shut up!" Castiel said laughing.

"Okay, but you have to fix that." Gabriel pointed his index finger at him. "One of these days I could leave them alone so you have privacy."

"Better tell me, how have you been?" Castiel asked, changing to another, less uncomfortable topic.

"Well, I'm catching up on the movies and everything that's happened." Gabriel nodded.

"I mean you," Cas said.

"I'm adapting." Gabriel said. "I walk around the apartment to maintain circulation in my legs and every day I feel better."

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"I don't know." Gabriel frowned. "I remember... we were alone at home and we played loud music, Mrs. Smith was upset about that, Lucifer brought his girlfriend and wanted us to leave the house to him but We kicked them out." Gabriel smiled remembering that.-That's the last thing I remember.

"That happened about a month before." Castiel frowned. "Don't you remember the fight?"

"Not much," he shook his head. "Maybe I need time."

"And what about dad? Did you know...?

"No, after being under observation for a few days, a doctor told me everything that had happened. "I didn't break out like all the doctors thought, I just... cried." He shrugged.

"I'm sorry." Castiel looked away.

"It was... devastating to know how long he had been asleep and even more so to know that he had been gone for a long time, but then I knew that all my brothers were taking care of me and it comforted me." Gabe smiled sideways, although it was a sad smile. "It still hurts me about Dad and I miss him every day but as I told you in the hospital, I have to move forward for him."

One afternoon, when the semester had already started, Dean was returning from college. He met Benny and greeted him, it had taken him the entire vacation to talk to him again, in the end Benny decided to put everything aside and they were friends again or something like that.

"Dean, I want to introduce you to someone." Benny took him by the shoulder and they entered Benny's apartment. "This is my sister, Elizabeth."

"Hello," the girl said, she was blonde and her eyes were the same as Benny's, pastel blue.

"This is Dean." Benny said to his sister, his hair was wavy and long, he wore a navy blue dress with small white flowers.

"Hello." Dean answered smiling, inside he was surprised that Benny's sister was there and he wondered if Castiel knew.

"Hello, Dean." Elizabeth smiled.

Chapter Text

Dean entered the apartment surprised by the arrival of Benny's sister. As soon as he closed the door behind him, Castiel was already in front of him, he was startled and before he could say anything Castiel's lips were already against his. He kissed him passionately and caressed his entire body without any shame, when Dean managed to separate he looked at him surprised.

"We're alone," Castiel said panting. "We have all afternoon."

Dean smiled and without thinking he lunged at the older man, Castiel stepped back as they kissed until they reached the couch. Dean pushed Cas onto the couch and moved over until he was on top of him. They kissed passionately, hungry from so much waiting, Castiel rolled their bodies causing them to fall off the couch, now he was on top and in control.
They undressed desperately, they wanted to feel each other's skin while they clumsily rocked their hips, colliding their members with the intention of obtaining more and more friction. Only small moans and gasps could be heard in the apartment.

"I missed this," Castiel said panting. Dean let out a groan as he nodded.

"I don't know how we endured so much," Dean said in a whisper.

After removing his boxers, Castiel turned Dean around to get a view of his ass, he finger fucked Dean, stretched him wider, open, Dean pushed his hips back while letting out small moans, slowly Cas withdrew his hands. fingers making Dean moan with his eyes closed. Castiel stroked his cock and lubricated himself with saliva, he needed to come no matter what.
Dean held himself on his hands and knees, the older man placed his cock against Dean's hole and traced the saliva-slick cock head against Dean's hole.
The blonde writhed against him, and pushed himself back onto Castiel's cock who whimpered and rubbed Dean's back before thrusting his hips desperately, hands holding onto Dean's hips as he pounded into him repeatedly. Dean squirmed took everything Castiel could give, everything Castiel was.

Castiel let out small moans and purrs, he grabbed Dean by the chest, wrapping him around him, and lifted him up to his height, making Dean's back rub against his chest as he pushed his hard cock into Dean.

Dean rocked his hips harder against Castiel. Dean's body trembled, he trembled and shuddered against Castiel's, it only took a few thrusts before he came, spitting his cum in thick strands onto the living room carpet, screaming for Castiel as he orgasmed.

His muscles clenched tightly around Castiel's cock, waves of bliss shaking through his lover. Castiel climaxed, spurring his come inside Dean and filling him with the release of him. He writhed against his lover, crying out for Dean, pushing his hips against Dean's with his last orgasm.

They remained exhausted and sated in each other's arms, the older man's cock still sheathed inside Dean's ass.
Dean didn't want to move, he wanted Castiel to sheathe him inside of him for as long as he could hold on to him. Dean had to move at the end when the position became too uncomfortable. He stood up, moving away from his lover's already softening member, and helped Castiel up, they fell on the couch exhausted but their hands caressed and caressed each other's bodies while they exchanged hot kisses, their tongues fucking hard in his lover's mouth. another as easily as Castiel had fucked his cock inside Dean.

They had had such an incredible afternoon that Dean decided not to mention Elizabeth and move on with his life.

The first weeks of the semester were quiet, there was almost no homework or projects, that gave Dean the opportunity to spend more time with Gabe and Cas, fortunately Gabriel had started leaving the apartment to take physical therapy and some courses to enter university. . That gave more privacy to Castiel and Dean, who took advantage of all that time to be together and have sex all over the apartment.

One afternoon, two months into school, Dean decided to surprise Castiel and bought some sex toys to use together, he had ordered them online and today they had been delivered, he couldn't wait to use them.

"I have a surprise for you, Cas," Dean said enthusiastically as he closed the door, he was carrying two bags from the store where he had bought the toys. When he walked he ran into Elizabeth drinking a beer with Castiel on the couch.

"Dean," Elizabeth said, leaving her bottle on the table. "I didn't know you lived with Cassy."

"Didn't Benny tell you?" Dean asked motionlessly, he was out of breath.

"No and neither does Cassy." Elizabeth turned to look at the older man, Castiel's gaze traveled quickly from her friend to her boyfriend.

"What do you have in your bags?" Castiel said, diverting the topic. Dean looked down and put the bags behind him.

"Clothes." Dean nodded nervously. "I'm going to leave the bags."

Dean walked away quickly down the hallway always trying to cover the store with his legs and entered the room they shared. She dropped the bags to the floor and let out a sigh. When he left the room he heard Elizabeth's laughter and soon spotted them on the couch.

"I missed you so much," Elizabeth said as she caressed Cas's back. "I never thought we'd see each other again."

"Life takes many turns," Castiel said, giving him a small smile and Dean walked over to take a seat on the other couch, Elizabeth smiled at him and Dean smiled back.

"So you're are roommates." He said looking at Castiel, the older man nodded.

"Yes, we've been living together for a year." Dean nodded.

"And where do you sleep?" Elizabeth asked. "I understand that Gabriel is also living here."

"We take turns on the couch." Castiel nodded, the two looked at the older man and Dean frowned but didn't say anything.

"It's all for Gabe," Dean said, faking a smile.

"That's very kind of you." Elizabeth smiled at him.

Two hours later, Benny's little sister kissed Cas goodbye on the cheek and waved her hand at Dean before heading back to her apartment, leaving Cas and Dean alone at last. When Castiel closed the door, she walked over to Dean to kiss him.

"We still have time," Castiel said, joining his lips with the blonde's. Dean pulled away and turned his face away.

"Are you serious?" Dean felt indignant.

"What?" Cas asked confused. "Gabe won't be here for a while."

"Elizabeth thinks we're friends," Dean told him, being obvious.

"Well, we are friends." Cas nodded.

"Are we just friends?" Dean stared at Castiel.

"That's not what I meant." Castiel looked away.

"Yes, of course," Dean said sarcastically and walked away.

"I figured you didn't want me to know." Dean stopped and turned to look at him with a frown.

"And why wouldn't you want me to know?" He crossed his arms.

"She said it herself, you didn't tell her that we lived together." Castiel pointed out.

"The other day Benny introduced me to her and since then she has seen him again." Dean shrugged annoyed.  "What was I supposed to say to her? Nice to meet you, I live with Cassy." Dean made a high-pitched voice highlighting Castiel's nickname.

"How long ago did he introduce her to you?" Castiel raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know, the first week of the semester," Dean said with a grimace. "What does that matter?"

"And you didn't tell me?" Castiel frowned in annoyance. "I told you she was my only friend."

"You don't want to turn this over." Dean pointed his index finger at him. "Don't you want her to know that we're together? You're embarrassed or something?"

"I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable," Castiel clarified.

"Why would she be uncomfortable with that?" He asked, about to explode.  "Is she homophobic?"

"No, but she was in love with me and many things happened." Castiel looked down.

"That doesn't justify it." Dean denied.

"You don't understand," Castiel answered defensively, still not looking him in the eyes.

"Do you have feelings for her?" Dean asked.

"What?" Castiel looked at him and wrinkled his nose. "No, not in a romantic way."

"Then it doesn't make sense." Dean raised his arms at the height of his shoulders. "You know? I'm not gonna fight about this."

Dean walked to the room they now shared.

"What are you going to do?" Castiel followed him.

"Well, I'm going to sleep on the couch," he replied, annoyed.

"Dean...don't make drama about this." He wanted to stop him.

"Whatever." Dean said without even looking Castiel in the eyes and walked down the hallway, he had homework to do, he took his backpack and stayed in the kitchen.

The passing of the weeks did not help the situation between Cas and Dean, their relationship was still tense due to the fight over Elizabeth, Castiel could not find the time to talk to Dean, because he avoided him, he stayed up late studying and went to bed late, all the time. Dean used the free time they usually had in the afternoons to work or participate in university projects.
At the same time, Elizabeth began to seek him out more and like before, they became close again. It seemed that time had not passed between them because their friendship remained the same as before. And Dean knew it, he knew that Castiel spent more time with her and that's why he kept his distance from her.
After almost two months, Dean and Cas had become a ruined marriage, they didn't spend time together, they didn't have sex, although they slept together they turned their backs on each other and only shared a short kiss when they greeted or said goodbye. They only lived together when Gabe was around and ignored each other most of the time.

One night while he was at Kaito working, she could see Gabriel at a table, he walked over to greet him.

"Dean!" Gabriel greeted him.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"No, I just came to enjoy the music."  He nodded. "I'm still trying to make friends."

"Hello, do you already know what you're going to order?" Max asked, taking out his order book. Suddenly he saw Dean out of the corner of his eye. "Oh, Dean hadn't seen you."

"I just came to say hello." Dean nodded, suddenly thinking that Max and Gabriel could be good friends, he knew they had the same sense of humor. "Max, this is Gabe, a close friend, treat him well."

"Hey." Gabe said and Max smiled.

"Are you waiting for someone?" He asked her curiously.

"Not really." Gabriel shrugged. Dean smiled and walked away, he could imagine how lonely Gabriel was feeling and maybe a friend couldn't hurt. After all, Max was new in town.

One morning, the gastronomy coordinator called Dean to his office and once again told him that he was the perfect candidate to go on an exchange. Dean refused, arguing that he could not pay for the stay and preferred to focus on his studies.
Mr. Samuels made him an offer that in his words, any student would kill to have. Due to his good grades and his involvement with the university, he would be given a scholarship to go on an exchange without worrying about any expenses.
Dean was going to reject it, but the coordinator asked him to think about it and give him a concrete answer in two weeks. Since he was about to finish half of the semester, he would have the opportunity to finish what was left in the exchange.

"So?" Sid asked. "Are you going?"

"I don't know." Dean grimaced.

"Dean, nothing stops you anymore." Lee said. "Samuels told you that the university will pay for everything."

"It would be fun if we played together." Sid told him smiling.

"You would take care of Sid for me," Lee pointed out.

"What am I supposed to tell Cas?" He asked hesitantly.

"Dean, you say he ignores you." Sid said overwhelmed. "How would it affect him if you're not there?"

"I don't know." Dean looked down. "I don't think he cares."

"There it is," Lee told him. "There's nothing stopping you."

Dean grimaced and decided not to talk about it anymore. He still had two weeks to think about it. On the weekend Gabriel stayed the night at Hannah's house, so Dean and Cas were alone, watching a movie on the couch, neither of them talking more than the essentials.

Dean's cell phone started ringing and he walked away to answer it, Castiel just watched him stand up and walk away.

"Hello?"

"Dean?"

"No way, Dave?" Dean said smiling, Castiel looked at him and tried to decipher what they were saying.

"Yes, how have you been?"

"Well, what about you?" Dean asked walking down the hallway.

"I'm fine, you're probably wondering why I'm calling you." Dave said laughing. "I found a jean jacket and I suspect it's yours."

"Why?" Dean asked curiously.

"Well... it smells like you."

"Do you recognize my smell?" Dean asked surprised.

"Of course I do." Dean smiled. "I wouldn't forget it."

"How did it get there?"

"Probably from some date."

"It makes sense." Dean nodded. "If you want I can go get it."

"That wouldn't be a bad idea."

"Well, we agree by message."

"Sure." Dave nodded. "Say hello to Castiel."

"I will." Dean looked at Castiel, his eyes met. "Take care of yourself."

"You too."

Dean didn't say anything else, he walked back to the couch and sat down. Castiel continued to stare at him.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Dave?"

"Only you can have friends?" Dean asked defensively.

"Beth and I never went out, much less fucked."

"I remind you that you ruined my dates with him," Dean answered.

"Dean, don't do anything you might regret," Castiel warned.

"Is it a threat?"

"I just, I don't want us to fight." Castiel closed his eyes.

"You should listen to yourself." Dean stood up indignantly. "You're the one who should worry about that."

"What are you talking about?" Castiel frowned.

"Elizabeth doesn't know we're together because you lied to her." Dean crossed his arms. "And I know you're still in contact with your ex-boyfriend."

"Mick?" Castiel asked, Dean opened his mouth. "We don't meet again there, we only talk from time to time."

"I was talking about Uriel." Dean wanted to explode.

"Uriel?"

"I heard you talking to him," Dean said. "About repeating what happened last time."

"I was talking about going out for some beers." Castiel raised his voice.

"A boy I went out with sometimes wants to return an item of clothing and am I doing something wrong?"

"I'm not doing anything wrong," Castiel claimed.

"Forget it." Dean walked away down the hallway.

From time to time they fought over stupider things, while Dean was jealous of Elizabeth, Castiel complained about her attitude. During the week, he was cooking for a project, when Castiel entered the apartment and slammed the door, he walked into the kitchen and looked at Dean, he was upset.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked.

"Did they offer you to go on exchange? " He asked, his voice sounded indignant.  "Why didn't you say anything?"

"How do you know that?"

"Meg had to tell me." Castiel left a pamphlet on the table.

"I haven't made a decision." Dean shook his head. "I haven't had time to think about it."

"Do you want to go?" Castiel's expression changed, now he seemed unsure.

"Of course I want to go, it's a great opportunity." Dean said, nodding. "But I don't want to leave you."

They remained silent, just looking at each other and Gabriel entered the apartment, interrupting the moment.

"Look who I brought." Gabriel said, behind him came Jack and Lucifer. Cas and Dean exchanged glances one last time and walked over to greet the brothers.

He ran into Dave at the university on Wednesday after class, he was under a tree waiting for him, Dean smiled and approached.

"Hello." Dave said smiling.

"It's good to see you." Dean nodded. They looked at each other for a few seconds until Dave reacted.

"This is yours." Dave gave him a small bag, inside it was the denim jacket.

"Thank you." He nodded, seeing him "I didn't even remember it."

"Well, it was also an excuse to see you." Dave nodded. "I haven't seen you in a long time."

"It's been a while." Dean nodded. "It's always good to see you."

"I say the same." Dave nodded. "Maybe one of these days we can go for a coffee, as friends."

"I'd like that." Dean smiled.

On Thursday morning he was meditating on the exchange, by tomorrow he would have to have a decision and if he accepted, his flight would leave a week later, the registration had closed a month before but Mr. Samuels had made an exception for Dean.
He talked to Sam, who had insisted that he accept the offer and leave, they had already agreed that Dean would fly to California on Monday morning and they would spend the first week of the semester break together, Dean could be with his brother before he left. exchange and suddenly it didn't sound like a bad idea.

Castiel and Gabe knew that Dean would be going on vacation the first week with his brother, so he would also give them time to be together. Maybe then things would lighten up between Cas and Dean.

He thought and thought about the exchange, he was going to miss the university and his friends a lot, he would no longer be with Castiel and everything would be even more difficult because of the time change. They had been tense for a few weeks or maybe months, Dean had lost count. Dean loved Cas, he just still didn't really like to admit it out loud, it was a little scary and he didn't know if the feeling was mutual, it would break his heart if Cas rejected him, he didn't know if he would put up with something like that, Castiel is a part very important in his life, he was his roommate, friend, lover and his first true love.
Dean had been in love before, but nothing like Castiel, what he felt for him was so intense and different from his ex-girlfriends, that's why he preferred to keep it to himself, maybe one day when he's sure that Cas feels the same, he to talk to.

He greeted Charlie at the entrance of the building and went up to his apartment, he decided to put the university aside for a few hours and distract himself, only then maybe he would have his definitive answer for coordinator Samuels.
Dean walked into the apartment, he knew Gabriel was gone and Cas was probably on the couch doing homework.
Castiel was indeed on the couch, but he wasn't alone, Elizabeth was there and she caressed Castiel's cheek while she kissed him. Dean stopped dead when he saw the scene, he wanted to scream but he had just stayed still, he had so many mixed feelings that he didn't react. Castiel stayed in her place but Elizabeth straddled her legs while she continued kissing him, she was about to take off his shirt but they separated and looked at Dean, then jumped off the couch.

"Dean..." Cas tried to get his attention. "This is a misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding?" Elizabeth asked confused, apparently she still didn't know about them.

Dean grabbed his backpack and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him, he heard Castiel calling after him but didn't want to stop. He stepped into the elevator and as Castiel left the apartment and the doors closed, Dean gave him a dirty look. When the elevator reached the first floor, Castiel was already there waiting for him, Dean didn't even look him in the eye, he just continued walking towards the entrance while Castiel spoke. When he wanted to leave the building, Castiel stopped him.

"I can explain it," Castiel said in front of him.

"There's nothing to explain," Dean said. "I saw it all."

"No, Beth and I..."

"I don't want to hear it." Dean interrupted him and looked him straight in the eyes. "Now, get out of my way."

"Dean..."

"Whatever they have had in the past is not my business," Dean said more calmly. "If it's not resolved... find out but I don't want to know anything."

Before Castiel could say anything, Dean pushed him aside and left the building. He returned to college because he wanted to be alone, he sat under the tree where a day before he had been with Dave and watched the grass.

His life had changed so much in one year, he expected many things from university and New York, but he never expected to find love, at that time he very much regretted meeting Castiel, but now he knew two things: his love was unrequited and He was going on an exchange in Europe.

Dean sneaked into the apartment in the early morning, he would have Friday off because Mr. Samuels had indicated so, he lay down in bed and tried to fall asleep, he felt lonely because he was so used to sleeping with Cas that it was very strange being without him, he woke up when the apartment was alone, It was almost noon.

He packed while his heart broke, his eyes filled with tears from time to time but he tried not to shed a single one.
He finished packing by two-thirty, called Lee to help carry his bags to Sid's apartment, and while he waited for him, he poured herself a cup of coffee and took a seat in the kitchen.
Appreciating the place because he knew he wouldn't see it for a long time, memories came to his mind from every corner of the apartment, every laugh, every tear, every kiss they shared, looks that said what they never spoke out loud.
He remembered the first time he met Cas, he seemed like an intimidating guy but that didn't make him less attractive, if he was outgoing, he would have everyone at his feet.

"I was informed that you would arrive on Saturday," Castiel said and Dean almost had a respiratory arrest, his voice was deep.

"I decided to arrive a little early," Dean said, clearing his throat to avoid sounding so sharp.

"I already noticed." Castiel said and walked towards the living room, he looked at Dean indicating for him to follow him. "Very well, house rules. ONE. Everything must be kept in its place. TWO. No parties or meetings. THREE. No noise after midnight. FOUR. No drinks or food on the sofa or carpet. FIVE. Don't touch my things. SIX. No small talk..."

"Would you mind writing it down?" Dean asked, he was being sarcastic, although there were too many rules to remember.

"SEVEN. Don't joke with me and the last but not least, we are not here to be friends, we both want to study." Castiel was staring at Dean, he began to feel a little uncomfortable since he was not bringing anything but a towel, he felt a shiver. run through your spine. "Understood?"

"I think so," Dean said, nodding, then Castiel walked down the hallway and closed the door to his room behind him.

He never followed the rules, at least not completely, he likes to think it was because Cas always liked him.
When they kissed for the first time, which although he doesn't remember it well, he knows that Cas made the first step.

Dean lifted his head to meet the cold blue of that gaze. Everything was starting to spin but he didn't have enough strength to stand up. He leaned on his knees and tried to push himself to his feet, managing to fall on top of Castiel.

Castiel placed his hands on Dean's cheeks and without thinking twice he kissed him, Dean without being able to do much kept up with him but seconds later he broke the kiss and took the bowl where there was popcorn before to proceed to vomit, he had gotten too dizzy.
If Dean was sober, he would be embarrassed and if Castiel was sober he would get up and walk away immediately without saying anything. But instead Dean lunged at Castiel and they began to kiss desperately.

Dean fell madly for Castiel, it was more than the kisses, Cas gave him the opportunity to truly know him, to see that he was not the Castiel that everyone talked about, it moved him and seeing him be happy for his brother after so long, it had been enough to make Dean happy.

The door opened and Gabriel appeared in the apartment, humming a song while he closed the door, he stopped when he saw suitcases in the living room, he saw Dean in the kitchen and quickly approached.

"Are you leaving today?" Gabriel asked.

"Yes, my brother decided to move up the flight to today."  Dean lied.

"Is Cas going to take you to the airport?" He asked still from the kitchen entrance.

"No, he's in class." Dean nodded. "My friends will take me."

"Did something happen yesterday?" Gabriel asked unsure.

"What are you talking about?" Dean pretended not to understand.

"When I arrived, Cas was weird." Gabe shrugged.

"Did he say something to you?" Dean was curious.

"No, but he didn't stop walking around the apartment." Gabriel grimaced. "Did you fight?"

"No." Dean shook his head, they were silent for a few minutes.

"I know something strange is happening between you," Gabe said, getting a little closer to Dean. "But you should talk about it."

"When I get back, I'll try." Dean nodded and made a face that was intended to be a smile.

"I just want you to know how important you are to my brother." Gabriel said nodding, looking intently at Dean. "You make him very happy."

Dean's cell phone vibrated, he had a message from Lee saying that he was already downstairs. Dean stood up and looked at Gabriel.

"They came for me" He left the kitchen and took his suitcases, Gabriel followed him and stood watching him while he organized his things, he stopped for a few seconds and smiled. "Take good care of yourself, Gabe."

"Do you have a message for Cas?" He asked unsure.

"Yes." Dean left his discomfort at the door and looked at the older man. "Tell him not to miss me."

Gabriel nodded not very happy and watched Dean leave the apartment with all of his suitcases. Dean sensed that Gabriel knew he wasn't coming back for a week, and he was surprised that he hadn't tried to stop him, at least not directly.

Dean accepted that many times he used to be dramatic, he would drown in a glass of water but he couldn't help not feeling hurt, humiliated and upset by Cas' actions.

On Saturday morning, he flew to California to meet Sam again, he had received some calls and messages from Castiel but he decided to block him and focus on his little brother, of course he wanted to cry and stay in bed all day but just for Sam he was going to make the effort. to be fine, at least for that week.
Sam greeted him with a big hug at the airport and Dean automatically felt better. As they exited the terminal, Dean was surprised to see the Impala in the parking lot.

"I brought her from Kansas with me," Sam admitted. "I wanted to have him here for you."

"Did Dad give her to you?" Dean asked, a little disappointed.

"No, of course not" Sam laughed."Mom let me bring her... she told me that maybe if you visited me, you could use her more often."

"Mom...?" Dean was perplexed.

"She doesn't hate you, Dean," Sam said as they opened the Impala and left Dean's suitcases. "She's taking it in."

"That... is good." Dean nodded and smiled sideways. The two got into the Impala and Dean caressed the steering wheel. “I missed you baby.”

"Ugh." Said Sam. "You better drive."

On the way to Sam's campus, while listening to music, they caught up a little more about their lives.

"I have some friends, they're all great," Sam said, nodding. "My roommate won't be here all vacation, so we're alone."

"It seems perfect to me." Dean nodded while he looked at the road. "And you're still not interested in anyone?"

"Huh?"

"You know, some girl... or boy." Dean looked at him quickly and then continued looking ahead.

"Uhm no, there's no one." Sam shook his head.

"You don't sound very convinced," Dean said.

"Seriously, I don't like anyone." Sam laughed nervously. "Better tell me, how is Cas?"

Dean squeezed the wheel and didn't take his eyes off the road.

"He's okay, he stayed with his older brother." Dean said nodding.

"Is everything okay between you?" Sam asked when he saw his brother's reaction. "Did you fight?"

"No, everything is fine." Dean nodded. "Are you going to take me to see the area?"

"Yes, I have some plans." Sam agreed, not very convinced of Dean's response.

When night came, Dean couldn't fall asleep, he felt alone in that bed and he certainly missed Cas's arms. Some tears ran down his cheeks thinking about the oldest and if he would miss him as much as he does.

The next morning, while Sam was taking a shower, there was a knock on the door, Dean got out of bed and opened the door, in front of him was a tall blonde girl, she had a cute smile, she was carrying a small cardboard box and she was surprised to see Dean.

"You're Dean, right?" the girl asked, surprised.

"Uhm yes." He answered confused.

"Hello, I'm Jess, it's a pleasure to meet you." The girl said excitedly. "Sam has told me so much about you."

"Well, unfortunately I hadn't heard of you." Dean nodded. "Sam kept you a secret."

"Jess?" Sam spoke behind the two, the two turned to Sam who was in a towel.

"I came... I came to bring you this package, it came to my bedroom by accident." Jess said, his cheeks were blushing, Dean's gaze traveled from Jess to Sam.

"Aren't you going to get dressed?" Dean asked, Sam reacted realizing that he was half naked and ran into the bathroom again. Dean turned to Jess again. “Come in.”

Jess nodded and walked into the bedroom, Dean closing the door behind him.

"How long have you known Sam?

"Two months." Jess nodded. "We have friends in common."

"What do you study?"

"Medicine."

Sam came out of the bathroom dressed and smiled nervously.

"I think I should introduce them." Sam cleared his throat. "Dean, this is Jess, a friend, Jess, this is my brother Dean."

"Jess tells me that she has heard a lot about me." Dean said, pretending to be innocent. "Why hadn't I heard about her?"

"There wasn't much time to talk about it." Sam excused himself.

"They left this package in my bedroom." Jess handed him the cardboard box.

"Oh, I had forgotten." Sam saw the box and then handed it to Dean. "For you."

Dean looked at the box, when he opened it he found an Italian dictionary, another in French and a chef's coat with his name embroidered on it, Dean smiled and looked at his brother.

"Thank you Sam" He left the box on the bed.-I'm going to take a shower, enjoy your time alone.

Dean smiled at them, grabbed his things and headed to the bathroom once he closed the door. He let out a sigh, it was his first day there and he just wanted to lie down.

When he came out of the shower, the room was empty, there was not a single sign of Sam or Jess. Dean sat on the bed and texted Sid and Lee, he knew that they would enjoy this last week together and that's why he didn't want to distract them so much, they had so many things to do that Dean decided not to bother them anymore. He was about to unblock Cas, he wanted to read his messages, he wanted to talk to him but at the same time he was so angry about the last few months, that he didn't want to know anything.

Sam came back an hour later and apologized, he had been with Jess and they hadn't noticed the time. Dean didn't say anything, but he knew perfectly well that his brother was crazy about that girl.

The week felt eternal, Dean hardly slept at night and even though he was with Sam, whenever he had the opportunity he encouraged him to invite Jess but in the end he ended up being a bad third party, he didn't say anything, he preferred that they spend more time together but It hurt because he remembered his good times with Cas, when it was just the two of them and everything was easier.

Dean couldn't get Sam and Jess to kiss, let alone know each other's feelings, and he recognized Sam's effort to be a cupid when he was in New York, maybe it would have been easier if he wasn't so sad.

He said goodbye to Sam and promised to send him messages every day, Dean made Sam promise to ask Jess out, the youngest pretended not to care, then gave up and accepted.

He was now heading to the first stop: Paris, France. A 14-hour flight awaited him, just Dean and his thoughts.
When they landed, he had to wait a few more hours for his other companions to land, he expected to meet Sid, but he was not there, without thinking twice he called her.

"Sid? Where are you?"

"At the airport with the group."

"In what country?"

"Germany. Where are you?"

"France."

"Oh, we didn't get together." Sid said disappointed. And that was what he was missing, he was alone in another country.

Most of the group already knew each other, so he felt even more alone, he didn't even have the attitude to socialize, much less to get excited about Paris.
He had a week before returning to classes and to get to know the city. While everyone was celebrating and getting to know each other, Dean just wanted to stay at the hostel. He went out a few times to see the city, but having a broken heart he was in the worst place in the world.
He easily got used to the change in schedule since he hadn't been able to sleep well for a week. One night, his classmates invited him to a party in someone's room. He accepted because he didn't want to be rude and although he didn't plan to go, Tessa went to pick him up. his room and could not refuse.

He had a good night, at first it was strange because he didn't know them, but Bela and Tessa were with him all night. He drank so much that they had to take him to his room between the two of them and with Ketch's help.

"You sure know how to drink," Tessa said, when they laid him down, Dean looked around at her.

"And my glass?" Dean stammered.

"Enough drinks for one night, Winchester," Bela said.

"I have to call him," Dean said trying to stand up, he took his cell phone out of his pants pocket.

"Who?" Ketch asked.

"Cas, I can't anymore..." Dean refused. "I can't help it anymore."

"Who is Cas?" Tessa asked, Dean sat up in bed and Tessa approached.

"My boyfriend," Dean said babbling. "My... my ex, my boyfriend? I don't think we ever were..."

"Oh no." Bela took the phone out of his hand."Dean, the number one rule when you're drunk is not to call your ex."

"But I miss him." Dean was about to start crying.

"For a reason you are no longer together." Tessa said. "Hold on to that."

"He was cheating on me.." Dean's voice broke.

"Don't you dare talk to him again." Ketch said. "Unfaithful people aren't worth it."

And that's how Dean gained three new friends or something. At least they tried to distract him and encouraged him, they never asked him to tell the story, they only advised him.

When classes started, it was easier to work as a team and even though he continued to distance himself, the others managed to include him. He still didn't party with them much, much less go out to the hostel, but he had made new friends.
He talked to Sid at night and they caught up on what was happening in his classes, they also exchanged notes and recipes.

He spent his birthday in Paris, he didn't tell anyone because he didn't feel like celebrating, he received congratulations from Benny, Charlie, Sid, Lee, Sam, Missy, even Dave and Gabriel congratulated him. He was also surprised to receive a message from his mother where she wished him a happy birthday and congratulated him on being on an exchange. All of his messages made Dean feel better, but he couldn't help but remember his birthday a year ago where he celebrated with Cas.
He stayed in his room, celebrated by eating pizza and watching 80's horror movies, they were his favorites.

When the next semester started, Dean was already feeling better than he had been when he had arrived. He was now in Rome, Italy and was encouraged to go out more on his own, he visited the Roman Coliseum and some museums, sometimes he went out to party with Bela, Tessa and Ketch, who received him with enthusiasm.

One morning, while he was walking to college, he received a call from Meg, and he immediately frowned and debated answering it, plus it must have been like three in the morning in New York. Before he could decide, his cell phone stopped ringing. Dean decided to let the call go and continued on his way, if it was something important, he would call again.

When it was halfway through the semester, they flew to Berlin, Germany. There they would conclude the exchange, Dean was encouraged to go out more with his new friends, after all he was in another country and couldn't spend all his time crying. She didn't love the weather but she had a lot of fun getting to know the city, she tried to learn German but it was impossible.

Several times both boys and girls approached him to flirt with him but Dean politely rejected them and continued getting drunk with his friends.

"You should accept sometime," Tessa said after a girl Dean rejected walked away from her.

"Being with Germans is quite fun." Bela lifted the drink from her and drank from it.

"I prefer French." Tessa said. "Ketch?"

"I don't like Europeans." Ketch shrugged.

"You're European," Dean said with a frown.

"Exactly, I don't want someone like me," he said, drinking from his drink.

"Dean, you haven't had the chance to meet anyone." Bela pointed it out. "We've been to three countries and you haven't hooked up with anyone."

"There hasn't been the opportunity." He shrugged.

"In one hour you have had three opportunities." Ketch pointed out.

"I mean I haven't liked anyone." Dean took his drink.

Luckily they changed the conversation and Dean was able to avoid having to be lectured about forgetting Cas because it wasn't worth it. Ketch, Tessa and Bela still didn't know the full story but they argued that they already knew enough and Dean didn't want to talk about it either, he just avoided remembering it.

When the semester ended, Professor Abreu thanked everyone for the semester and a half, then offered transfers to one of the universities they visited, Dean thought about it at night and talked to Sid who also wanted to transfer, so they didn't think twice. and they decided to transfer to Rome.

On the last day, he said goodbye to her friends, only Bela would transfer but to the university in Berlin, so he wouldn't see her. When he flew to Rome, Sid picked up Dean at the airport and they hugged when they met again.

They had both loved Italy and now they could study together, they were very excited to start another semester, on vacation they learned Italian and visited the surrounding cities, Dean was able to enjoy Italy more than last time, little by little he felt that his heart was healed.

Chapter Text

When Dean graduated from the University of Rome with honors, he began working in a small pastry shop in the city. Sid who had also graduated, worked in a nearby town. Italy had won Dean's heart and it was a very special place because he helped him get ahead.

They returned to Los Angeles a year later, where they opened a small bakery, The Sugar Bloom. It was a small business, full of pastel colors and neon letters, Sid and Dean took care of everything in the store and soon it began to gain recognition because they were close to a large park where people always gathered to have picnics.

Ten years later, Dean and Sid were one of the most famous chefs in the country, they were partners in The Sugar Bloom, the most famous pastry shop in Los Angeles that now existed in various parts of the country.

"We have three possible locations in the city, all near the Eiffel Tower." Eileen said while she showed the slides with information about the locations in Paris.

"I would like to see them in person," Rowena said as she looked at the photos. Rowena was his other partner, she was a businesswoman who loved gourmet food and had fallen in love with Dean and Sid's desserts, thanks to her The Sugar Bloom had taken off faster and clearly she knew more about business than Dean and Sid combined. .

"You just want an excuse to go to Paris," Dean said jokingly.

"That's obvious, honey," Rowena said. "But I would like to talk to the owners... I think we should all go to close a deal."

"You'll need back up." Sid said. " But someone needs to stay to supervise the remodeling of the store in Las Vegas."

"I'll stay." Dean nodded. "Anyway, you have better taste than me."

"I'm sorry to ruin your fun" Pamela entered the meeting room, they were in Los Angeles, Rowena had offices in one of the buildings in the city and they used it for the administrative part of the bakery, Pamela was the one who handled public relations. and unintentionally she was Dean's assistant, always organizing his life. "But you have an interview in half an hour."

Dean always got nervous on television, it wasn't the first time for him but he felt like it was. This time it wouldn't be live, so they had to record during the day and luckily there would be no audience, they thanked Eileen for the presentation and headed to the television studio. Rowena did not accept interviews, not since a few years ago she had a very high-profile divorce and she preferred to avoid uncomfortable interviews.

"Thank you for joining us." Said the host of the program. "I know you are here to tell us about your new desserts but I think we all want to meet the minds behind the delicious desserts. Who is Sydney? Who is Dean?"

"There's not much to tell," Dean said and Sid nodded.

"I'm from a small town in Georgia and I was lucky enough to be able to go to New York. " Sid said. "That's where I met Dean."

"I'm from Kansas and by chance I ran into Sid." Dean nodded.  "We went on exchange and were able to work a little, then we came back and decided to open a small bakery in Los Angeles."

"We didn't think it would be so popular." Sid laughed.

"And what about you? Are you available, outside the market... is it complicated?" Asked the interviewer.  "Are you just friends?"

"Yes." Sid and Dean laughed, Sid nodded. "Like Brothers."

"Sid is off the market and probably for good," Dean said, Sid showed off his engagement ring.

"Congratulations!" The woman congratulated her. "That man must be very lucky. What about you, Dean?"

"Available." Sid answered for Dean.

"I imagine you are a sought-after bachelor" The interviewer said, Dean smiled shyly.

"Eternal bachelor, I would say." Sid answered, looked at the camera and pointed at Dean. "Ladies and Gentlemen, take him out of the market."

"You know where to find him." The interviewer said towards the camera, Dean just laughed a little uncomfortable at the jokes, he just shifted in his seat, he didn't like talking about him on national television.

Sid was always trying to get him a partner, Dean didn't refuse to go out with people, he liked it and preferred to keep things to one night, that's how he had fun and met a lot of people, all the dates that Sid got him were a fiasco because everyone They wanted a formal relationship and that was something Dean didn't want.
He was not against commitment, since he had two relationships, with a girl and with a boy, but it was simply not his thing.

In the afternoon he received a call from his brother Sam, who was already a lawyer and man of law. He had a law firm in New York, where he increasingly achieved more recognition due to his efforts. Dean was proud that his brother was a highly sought-after lawyer.
But to him, Sam was still twelve years old.

"Sammy," Dean said, answering the phone.

"It's Sam." He corrected him.

"Whatever," Dean said mockingly. "How does the big city treat you?"

"Excellent." Sam stated. "We received a new case, it is quite ambitious."

"That's great!" Dean congratulated him. "You and Jess should come to celebrate."

"Or maybe you should come," Sam said.

"That's not going to happen," Dean said, refusing. "Besides, I have a lot of work, it's easier for them to come."

"Whatever." Sam rolled his eyes.

A few months later, while Rowena was still in Paris checking how the remodeling of the new location was going, Dean and Sid were in Kansas City working on a birthday cake for Rowena. They chose that location because they could visit the other franchises in that part of the country. While they were preparing the mixture, Pamela entered the kitchen.

"Dean, you have visitors." She said from the entrance.

"Visitors?" Dean frowned and thought about his mother, he hadn't seen her for months and after a long time they managed to reconcile, his father could never accept it, not even on his deathbed but Dean had learned to live with it. after more than seven years.

"Yes, it's a certain Lucifer Novak, every day people have weirder names," Pamela said, Dean stayed still and felt like he stopped breathing for a few seconds, Sid nodded for him and Pamela left the kitchen, Dean emptied the mixture in the container and when I was about to put it in the oven, I thought it was a dream (or a nightmare) until I heard his name.

"Dean!" Lucifer shouted, Dean was speechless and suddenly received a hug. "I haven't seen you for so many years."

"Lucifer?" Dean asked, still not believing it, he had let his beard grow, he was probably over 35, he wasn't coming alone, next to him was a woman of medium height, short brown hair, she had blue eyes and she was watching Dean. carefully.

"Yes, it's me," she smiled once they walked away. "This is Kelly, Jack's mother."

"Hello, it's nice to meet you." Dean wiped his hand of flour and shook it with Kelly's.

"Dean took care of Jack several times when he traveled to New York," Lucifer said to Kelly.

"Yes, I've heard a lot about you," Kelly said and Dean wasn't sure what he meant, Sid continued preparing the frosting while he listened to the conversation from afar.

"We come to ask you a huge favor." Lucifer said smiling. "There is going to be a wedding in the family!" Sidney stopped and looked at them surprised. "We want you to make the cake, he will be very excited if he knows that you did it."

"It's a surprise.-Kelly said, Dean kept his mouth open as he listened to them talk.-We know you're probably very busy making cakes and giving interviews but we traveled from New York for this.

Dean felt that Kelly didn't like him, he couldn't understand why if they didn't know each other before and he had always treated Jack well, he preferred not to give it importance.

"I don't know." Dean scratched the back of his neck. "We don't have a branch in New York..."

"But, we have one in Pennsylvania." Sid intervened, shaking the flour from his hands. "Maybe Dean could make the cake but it takes logistics."

"If it's for the money, it's no problem," Lucifer answered, Dean didn't know how to get out of the situation.

"The transfer would be complicated" Dean excused himself, this couldn't be happening to him.

"He will." Sid nodded and Dean gave him a disapproving look. "After all, you love a challenge, don't you?"

"You're going to make her day even more special," he assured Kelly.

"Come with me," Dean said, faking a smile. "Let's fill the order."

Kelly was the one who explained how he wanted the cake, Dean wrote down all the instructions and made them a sketch of how it would look, fifteen minutes later they had the cake set aside.

"We hope you can also attend the wedding" Lucifer said.

"I don't think we brought the invitation," Kelly said looking in her bag.

"I'll give it to you that day, when you deliver the cake at the reception." Lucifer said. "This way it will be easier."

"You don't have to invite me," Dean said uncomfortably in his seat. "I'm just going to make the cake."

"Of course we have to invite you." Lucifer said. "This wedding would not have been without you."

"I'll try to be there," Dean said, clearing his throat. "There's a lot of work for spring."

"See you in a few months." Kelly said and they left the bakery.

As soon as they left, Dean returned to Sydney ready to claim Sid for the icing with food coloring while he listened to music, but the blonde turned off the stereo.

"Hey! I was listening to that," Sid said, pointing to the stereo.

"Why did you accept? " Dean approached the table.

"Because it's our job." Sid shrugged. "You couldn't deny them a cake."

"How am I going to travel from Pennsylvania to New York?" Dean demanded.

"We have to open a store in New York." Sid shrugged his shoulders again, giving a fairly easy solution.

"No," Dean said.

"Then take the risk of traveling with the cake," Dean answered as he continued mixing the coloring with the frosting.

"It's not fair." Dean crossed his arms.

"I don't understand your stupid rule." Sid rolled his eyes. "We would have a lot of clientele in New York."

"I don't want my business there, the rent is very expensive." Dean excused himself.

"We are about to open a branch in Paris, you can't complain about the money." Sidney frowned, she was about to lose her patience.

They remained silent for several minutes, Dean kept his gaze fixed on the floor while he crossed his arms, he was leaning on the work table and his butt was probably full of flour.

"Is it because of him?" Dean looked at her but said nothing. "Ten years have passed and all this time you have refused to be successful in New York because of a man."

"I'm not going to discuss my reasons." Dean was ready to leave.

"No, Dean." Sidney stopped him, pulled him into the freezer and locked them, hiding the key.

"What are you doing?" He looked around. "Let me out."

"Not until you give me a good reason not to open a branch in New York," she pointed at him with her index finger.

"I'm going to travel from Pennsylvania." Dean said exhausted. "It's my request."

"Give me a reason." Sid insisted, Dean felt a shiver and soon they were both getting colder.

"It's a dangerous city." Dean excused himself again.

"I'm not convinced." Sid crossed her arms and shook her head.

"It's expensive, dirty and there are a lot of people." Dean began to list the cons.

"Dean, tell me the truth" Sid said while he was shivering from the cold. "What's the reason?"

"There isn't," Dean said desperately. "I don't want to go back to New York because I don't want to see him again, I haven't been able to let go of what happened but if you want to open a branch, you take care of it, I'm not interested, now let me out." hence my butt is freezing.

Sid looked at him with compassion and opened the door so they could leave.

"It's his wedding," Dean said once they were outside.

"Did they give you the names?" Sidney asked, he felt sad for his friend.

"No, but it makes sense," Dean said, shaking his head.

"It could be from his other brothers."

"Michael always hated me." Dean said. "Hannah ignored me and Gabriel, well, was the only one I got along with."

"It could be about Gabriel." Sid tried to give him hope.

"He said that without me that wedding wouldn't have been possible." Dean said, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "It has to be him."

"Any idea who he would marry?" Sidney returned to the bitumen.

"I have too many candidates," Dean said, remembering the past.

"But don't you think it would be awkward?" Dean looked at her. "I mean, you're his ex... I wouldn't want my ex to make my wedding cake."

"Do you think Lee doesn't make good cakes?" Dean smiled mockingly.

"Shut up." Sid laughed.m "He does better in traditional cuisine."

"Still, Kelly acted very strange." Dean nodded. "She knows something."

"What could she know?"

"I don't know, she was a little harsh when talking to me." Dean grimaced as he remembered how she looked at him.

"Well, if you told me about what happened, maybe she would have an answer." Sid said overwhelmed.

"It was many years ago, it's not worth remembering." Dean refused. "It's silly that I'm still upset but I can't help it."

"Stop being so mysterious." Sid rolled his eyes.

"Why would he want a cake of mine?" Dean asked himself.

"Maybe it's not for him," Sydney repeated.

"In a few months we will know." Dean stated.

And they were going to be the longest months of his existence, he doesn't know if he doesn't want the date to arrive or for it to pass quickly so he can forget about a bad moment. The wedding would be in May, they were in November so Dean had 5 months to torture himself. Luckily he had work to distract him during the day, but he suffered at night.

Christmas and his birthday were spent in Kansas with his mother, Sam and Jess. February and March he spent in Chicago and Minnesota, he loved traveling to different cities but he never felt at home, not even when he visited his mother; She went from hotel to hotel. April and half of May he was in Florida.

The months felt eternal, Dean tortured himself psychologically every night. He was thinking about the wedding and about Castiel, hypothetically even if it wasn't his wedding he would have to see it and that was still equally uncomfortable but it hurt him to think about Castiel getting married, he should be happy or he shouldn't care but he didn't want to see it. He kept telling himself that he was in the past and that he would never have to see him again, but here he was.
Lately, not only did he have to endure his self-torture, but now a journalist called him on the phone, visited him in some franchises and lived day and night looking for him. What did he want? Not good, Dean knew perfectly well that if he accepted an interview, she would attack him with uncomfortable questions for her gossip show and like all the other interviewers she would ask the million dollar question: Why isn't there a The Sugar Bloom in New York?

"Dean!" The reporter followed him in the supermarket parking lot. "Just a few questions."

"Sorry, I'm late." Dean apologized, getting into the impala. He prepared to flee the scene.

Another night he was leaving to make purchases necessary for the business and there she was, waiting for him next to his car and although he managed to sneak away and then return for the impala later, he was at the hotel reception once again waiting for him. That reporter was his shadow, because he followed him everywhere.

One night while he was trying to fall asleep he remembered his voice, almost could hear him calling his name. The last time she helped Cas with his medicine came to his mind, he had no longer had relapses because Gabriel had already woken up by then, until that night.

Castiel woke up agitated next to him, he sat on the bed, Dean woke up suddenly and looked at Cas, he was scared.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, stroking his shoulder. Cas tried to calm his breathing.

"It was just a nightmare." He nodded and rubbed the palms of his hands over his face. "I need my pills."

"I'm coming." Before he could respond, Dean was already out of the room. He ran back with the pills and handed her the bottle.

Castiel took one of the pills and kept his eyes closed as he took a deep breath. Dean was sitting on the edge of the bed with his attention fixed on Cas, hoping he would feel better.
Dean walked over and started rubbing Castiel's back.

"I don't understand why it keeps happening." Castiel said in a whisper, still keeping his eyes closed, his face resting in his hands. "I have this nightmare over and over again..."

"What nightmare?" Dean asked him as he continued caressing him.

"My mother, taking Gabriel." Castiel paused to let out a sigh. "When I'm leaving the subway near Chinatown, she calls me to tell me that they are moving to Canada... Then I get so worried that suddenly I'm disoriented, I don't know where I am or how to get home."

"If you ever get disoriented, call me," Dean said. "It doesn't matter if I'm in class or where I am, I'll find you."

Castiel nodded, looking at him finally, he was still moved by how much Dean cared about him, the blonde gave him a small kiss on the forehead and they settled back into bed.

"Good night Dean."

He hadn't been able to sleep well for weeks. The closer the date got, the more nervous he got. He started going out to bars from time to time, drinking non-stop and returning to the hotel to sleep.

A week before the wedding he flew from Florida to Pennsylvania, he began working on the cake design. Sid was in Vermont but she had promised to arrive a few days before, Dean had forced her to agree to accompany him to the cake delivery.

On Wednesday (two days before the wedding), Dean was invited to a live cooking show, where he made a hamburger-shaped cake. People loved their cakes for that reason, while Sid's specialty was cupcakes and cookies with salty, spicy and strange flavors, Dean's were cakes with unconventional shapes, like a shoe, a Channel bag, toilet paper, fruit. or the strangest thing you could think of.

He was a little nervous at first, but then he began to have confidence when it came to cooking, while Dean was preparing the cake, the TV presenters were interviewing him.

"Tell me Dean, what inspired you to create unusual cakes?" Said Keith, one of the TV presenters.

"It's fun," Dean joked as he mixed some ingredients. "I think cakes can be creative and delicious at the same time."

"You make it look so easy." Jane -the other presenter- joked. "Don't you want to marry me?"

"Jane!" Keith laughed.

"I want free cakes," Jane argued.

"I would also get married for the cakes." Keith accepted.

"I'm right here." Dean feigned indignation and everyone laughed.

He continued explaining how to make the cake step by step, while he fielded a few questions from Keith and Jane about the process. By the time he finished the cake, he said goodbye to the audience and left the studio, deciding to return to the hotel to rest.

"Do we agree that we are all in love with Chef Dean?" Janet asked once they returned from the commercial break after Dean left. Everyone in the audience agreed with him.

"That man made me doubt my orientation," Keith said, laughing.

"The way he cooks..." Said another presenter. "The way he explains things, I'm very jealous that they could see him cook and I couldn't."

"It's quite an experience." Keith assured. "Chef Dean is a gift from God."

"It is." Jane nodded. "Well, we could spend the rest of the program talking about how perfect it is, but the show must go on, in the sports section..."

Dean fell into the hotel bed and managed to sleep for three hours, waking up when it was dark. He decided to take advantage of his time and opened the small box he had brought from Kansas with him.
His mother had given it to Dean so he could decide what to do with the things inside.

He found some old sunglasses, postcards that Sam had sent him when Dean was studying in Italy, the dictionaries that he gave him and his old phone, when he turned it on he was surprised to see that he still had a battery. He had changed it for quite a few years, he explored his photos and found photos of when he had arrived in New York, of his semesters there and the exchange to Paris, Rome and Berlin, he had photos with Bela, Tessa, Ketch, Sid, Lee, even with Charlie and Benny, I was surprised to see so many memories
He didn't find any photos with Cas, he suspected that at some point he had deleted them. He reviewed his conversations and had fun reading what he talked about with his friends when he was in college. He was curious to read his conversation with Castiel, but after searching for her several times, she found nothing of her and when she was about to give up, she remembered, she had blocked him.
When he unlocked it he was surprised to see that he had many unread messages from him, Dean was about to read them but he turned off the phone for his own mental health, there was no point in reading those messages that were twelve years old.

On Friday morning they started to prepare the cake, it took all day to prepare and decorate it, they had only done it between Sid and Dean, because the other employees had more work. They left it in the refrigerator and let out an exhausted sigh.

"This deserves a few drinks," Dean said, wiping off the sugar and flour.

"We must sleep early, tomorrow will be a long day." Sid said, once again being the voice of reason.

"We can have fun drinking and sleep faster." Dean said trying to cheer her up.

"I don't think you want to show up to that wedding raw," he warned her. "Do you already have what you'll wear to the celebration?"

"I'm not going to stay for the celebration." Dean shook his head. "I hand over the cake and leave."

"Dean..."

"Back to L.A." Dean smiled and nodded.

"What happens if they ask you to stay?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I'll tell you I have more work." He shrugged and earned a disapproving look from the woman. Dean rolled his eyes. "I already have my suit."

"Just think it's just another job," he tried to encourage him.

"Would it be just another job for you?" Dean asked unsurely.

"It depends on what happened between us." He shrugged.

They remained silent, Dean had his eyes fixed on the floor, he didn't want to remember that moment in his life but then he thought that ten years had passed, it didn't matter anymore.

"He cheated on me."

"He what?" Sid raised his eyebrows and looked at Dean without blinking.

"With a neighbor." Dean cleared his throat. "If I hadn't entered the apartment they probably would have had sex."

"Dean..."

"It's in the past now." Dean shrugged and faked a smile that looked more like an uncomfortable grimace. "We should go back to the hotel."

"I'm sorry." Sid apologized. "If I had known, I wouldn't have accepted the job for you."

"It's okay, we had to do it." Dean nodded, there was a long silent pause. "Sometimes...sometimes I keep up with how he's doing in New York."

"Are you looking for it on the internet?"

"Not always." Dean shook his head. "Sometimes it's on the news... Detective Castiel Novak, he keeps the big city clean."

"Detective..." Sid repeated, surprised.

"Am I wrong for doing it?"

"I mean, I think it's a little weird but I know you never stopped loving him."

"That's not true." Dean denied immediately.

"Dean..."

"Now we should go." Dean cleared his throat and left the kitchen.

Sid gave him a compassionate look but Dean didn't give him the chance to talk more, the two left the bakery and headed to the hotel. Dean and Sid lived in Los Angeles but traveling all the time they lived from hotel to hotel, now that Sid had his fiancé, Alessandro, he returned often to Los Angeles to be with him, on the other hand, Dean was always in another state working Day and night, no one was waiting for him at home, so he dedicated himself to his work 100%.

Dean had to resort to sleeping pills, he didn't want to stay up all night and then feel exhausted when it was time to deliver the cake.

The next day he showered very early and went for a walk to distract himself while it was time to leave Pennsylvania for New York. Dean had to act confident, he wasn't going to chicken out as if he were still under twenty, a lot of things had changed since then.

"Don't you want me to deliver the cake?" Sid asked uncertainly, an intern and Dean were in charge of loading the cake onto the truck. "I could tell you had a setback."

"And stay at the hotel all day?" Dean looked at her as they arranged the cake.

"You can still go back to Los Angeles."

"I thought you said that wasn't very professional of me," Dean said confused.

"Yes, but I changed my mind..." Sid looked down.

"If you wanted my cake, I'm going to deliver it and move on with my life..." Dean nodded. "Although I would appreciate it if you accompanied me."

"Sure." Sid nodded. "Wait... you say I should stay at the wedding with you?"

"I need you there."

"What am I supposed to wear?" Sid looked at his clothes.

"Don't worry about that, Melissa and Zack are going to take care of it." Dean winked.

"Aren't they the makeup artists of...? " Sid frowned.

"Yes, from Glam X." Dean nodded proudly. They were one of the best makeup artists on television.

Dean drove from the store to New York, when he saw the sign that they were entering NY he squeezed the wheel and took a deep breath, he headed to the room where the celebration would be, it was a large garden that Dean had no idea existed, it wasn't too far from where his apartment used to be and Sydney seemed to recognize the area as well, but didn't say anything.

Dean took a deep breath once more after parking the truck outside the spot, he took a few extra seconds to open the door and get out of the truck. He had mentally prepared for this day for five months. He had it. He could do it.

He would deliver the cake, they would go to the hotel Sid booked to change clothes and return to the living room only to officially deliver the cake to Castiel and his mystery partner, greet the family and get out of there, probably to get drunk in Pennsylvania because Dean would give up. Realizing how much it affected him to see Castiel again and that he can't even stand being in New York, he would drink like there was no tomorrow, so that the next day he would return to Los Angeles and continue dedicating himself to his work.

"Dean? Earth calling Dean." Sid snapped his fingers in front of his face and Dean shook his head.

"Sorry, I think I'm scattered." Dean apologized.

"I said if you were ready to enter."

"I was born ready." Dean assured. "Let's hand this over."

Chapter Text

Dean used to feel nervous when he went on live television, he was anxious about talking about his life, and he was always surprised when people recognized him on the street. But this beat everything before, Dean was too nervous and felt like he was about to start shaking, he controlled his breathing to avoid an anxiety attack.

The room was still being decorated, there were quite a few staff arranging the last details, they only saw waiters and staff walking from one side to the other, Dean and Sid only watched them.

"Dean! You're here." Lucifer said from the other side of the room, when he approached, he hugged him once again.

"It's good to see you again," Dean said, trying to smile.

"Lucifer, where are you? We're getting late." He heard a female voice that seemed quite familiar. Hannah appeared and smiled when she saw Dean. "Hello... long time no see."

Before Dean could answer, another Novak was hugging him, he didn't understand why everyone was so happy to see him now.

"It's nice to see you again." Hannah assured. "I'm glad to know that you agreed to make the cake, today is a very special day for everyone."

"It's nothing." Dean nodded. "I couldn't refuse."

"Will you attend the ceremony?" Hannah asked, Dean and Sid exchanged glances.

"We're not going to make it, we're just going to come to the celebration..." Dean said.

"Oh perfect." Hannah checked her watch. "See you here later, my assistant will tell you where to leave the cake, we are leaving or we won't arrive."

"Our brother kills us if we are late." Lucifer said and they hurriedly said goodbye.

Once they unloaded the cake from the truck, they prepared to go to the hotel where Sid had reserved a room just for Dean, there Melissa and Zack were waiting for them, who quickly began to do Sid's hair and makeup, while Dean decided to take another shower. and then get dressed.

"Thank you guys," Sid said as he closed the hotel room door. "You saved our lives."

"Are you ready?"

"I'm just putting on my slippers," Sid said, teething on the bed.

"Oh shit," Dean said, remembering that they didn't have an invitation. "Lucifer didn't give me the tickets."

"I'm sure they'll let us in." Sid assured him. "All the staff saw us."

"I hope so."

They took a taxi and twenty minutes later they were in the garden. Fortunately, the guard recognized them and let them in without any explanation.
Apparently the bride and groom had not arrived at the place yet, there were only a few guests already in their places talking. Ruby, Hannah's assistant, told them where to sit and she walked away to continue coordinating logistics.

Dean was extremely nervous, he couldn't just sit there waiting for Castiel to show up through that door newly married, to the person he loves and would probably be forever. He shook his head and stood up, he didn't want to torture himself like that, it only made him feel worse.

"Are you okay?" Sid asked when he saw him get up suddenly.

"Yes, I just need to breathe." Dean nodded and let out a sigh. Sid's cell phone started ringing and he too stood up.

"It's Alessandro." He said pointing to the screen and walked away, he was Sid's fiancé. An Italian straight out of a romantic novel with a happy ending, the guy was perfect and he loved Sid so much that that's why they got married in Italy and Los Angeles. Angeles, they were still organizing the weddings, so I understood why he called her.

Dean went to the bathroom where he wet his face and took a deep breath. He could hear many voices outside and he assumed that the room was full. He walked around the garden a little while doing his breathing exercises. He wished he could take off the tie that he felt was choking him. , as the minutes passed, Dean felt more and more sorry for being there. Apparently the grooms had already arrived at the place and were at the reception, he could only see many people taking photographs.

"Dean?" Someone called him, the blonde looked to the left of him and ran into a teenager, he was blonde and had the same blue eyes as all the Novaks. He seemed surprised and happy to see him but Dean couldn't recognize him, judging by his age, he didn't think they had known each other before. "I'm Jack."

"Jack?" Dean blurted out surprised, a smile appeared on his lips. "But you were a little boy..."

"I grew up, surprise." He smiled and joked.

"How do you remember me?"

"I have a lot of vague memories about you." Jack nodded. "And the photos helped a little..."

"It makes sense." Dean nodded.

"I also see you on television often." He stated. "I hope that one day we can cook together... if you don't mind."

"No, we had a lot of fun when you were a kid." Dean smiled at him, Sid approached and touched his shoulder. "Sid, this is Jack, remember him?"

"Yes, of course." Sid smiled and greeted Jack. "You probably don't remember me, but Dean and I came to take care of you."

"It is an honor to be able to say that the most famous chefs of the moment were my babysitters."  Jack said laughing, Dean smiled and made the mistake of looking behind Jack, in the distance he could see Castiel, his heart stopped a few seconds, his knees suddenly felt weak, like they were jelly, and by the time he wanted to look away it was too late. Castiel met his gaze and time stopped around him, he could only watch him approach, he was definitely going to throw up.

Castiel walked until he was next to Jack, the three of them looked at the older man who acted as if there was no tension in the air.

"Sidney, it's nice to see you," Castiel said as he hugged her, Sid hugged back.

"We haven't seen each other in so many years," Sid said.

"I don't think I even remember the last time I saw you," he said, walking away from Sid. "Congratulations on your engagement."

"Thank you." Sid smiled at him. Castiel looked from him to Dean who couldn't decipher what the other wanted to convey to him.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel said.

"Cas." He said without thinking, he just gave her a small smile without showing his teeth.

"I think we should let them talk," Jack said to Sid in a low voice.

"Jack, why don't you show me the place?" Sid said, humoring him and the two walked away. Cas and Dean didn't even notice his absence.

They stared at each other in silence, Castiel had not changed anything, suddenly he saw him in the photos that the news showed or in the few press conferences he gave when he caught a gangster or solved a media crime. He looked more muscular than when they lived together, he seemed calmer with himself because he no longer had that look of guilt or self-loathing, his voice was thicker and his hair was still as messy as ever, even on the day of his wedding Dean was ready to fall at his feet, metaphorically and literally, he didn't care that this man had just gotten married, his repressed feelings had resurfaced, his legs were shaking and he was about to have an anxiety attack.

"Shouldn't you be with the guests at the reception?" Dean nodded at the crowd of people, he tried to sound normal, disinterested and he didn't want to look like an idiot at all. Castiel frowned.

"Why would he be receiving guests?" Castiel asked.

"I don't know, maybe because it's your wedding." Dean cleared his throat.

"My wedding?" Castiel raised his eyebrows "It's Gabriel's wedding."

"Gabriel?" Dean repeated incredulously, suddenly all those months of mental torture disappeared.

"What made you think that?"

"Lucifer wasn't very explicit about it," Dean said, looking away. "Of course you wouldn't invite me to your wedding, I wouldn't want my ex at it."

"That life is not for me," Castiel clarified. "Are you going to stay at the party?"

"Just for a little while," Dean assured him.

The bride and groom entered the room and everyone applauded them. She could see Gabriel and her new husband. Gabriel had married a man... Dean didn't expect it at all, he still didn't understand what he had to do with that marriage, but he was happy to know that Gabe had taken her life back.
Everyone sat down so Cas and Dean just exchanged glances and everyone went to her table to take a seat, Sid was already waiting anxiously for him.

"How did it go?"

"It was weird." Dean shifted in his seat. "I think he already left it in the past."

"That's good." Sid smiled. "They both already left it behind, right?"

"Yes." Dean lied and saw Castiel at the table in front of his, they did not exchange glances because the older man was talking to the people at his table.

"Dean, are you still...?" Sidney stared at him.

"Dean!" Gabriel was in front of him.

"Gabe!" Dean stood up and they hugged. "Congratulations man."

"I'm glad to know you could come." Gabriel smiled from ear to ear. "I know you're a busy man."

"I couldn't miss this," Dean said, although less than ten minutes ago he thought he was at his ex's wedding.

"Oh, I think it's going to be the toast." Gabriel said goodbye and went to her table, he gave her husband a small kiss and they smiled at each other, Dean felt genuinely happy for him.

"Are you going to ignore what's happening?" Sid asked, approaching Dean to be discreet.

"What's going on?" Dean asked.

"Castiel."

"Just let me enjoy the party," Dean said, exhausted. "Then you can tell me what an idiot I am."

"It seems fair to me."

Twenty minutes later the room was completely full and Gabriel caught everyone's attention.

"Before we start dinner, I would like to make a toast." He said with his glass, the staff gave him a microphone and smiled. "Hello everyone, thank you for being here." He thanked the guests. "When I was young I didn't believe in the happily ever after, I certainly didn't believe that one day I would get married and here we are, doing everything I thought I would never do... my first love was until I was about to enter university, he sat behind me in biology and When I asked her to the prom she rejected me." Gabriel looked at his husband. "That's why I married you, because Cindy Jacobs didn't want to go to the prom, no, I'm kidding... Don't be mad, love." Everyone laughed. "A week after that, I had an accident and was in a coma for six years... a lot of things happened while I was gone: my father died, my brothers grew up... they discontinued my favorite cookies and canceled many television series that I loved but I must say that I broke my record, I had never slept more than 24 hours in a row." He said to lighten the mood. "When I woke up everyone had a life, the The world did not stop while I was gone, my brothers already had their lives and I thought I was still nineteen, the most difficult thing about returning was adapting to the changes, fortunately I had the support of my family and especially my brother Cas and Dean" Gabriel made eye contact with Dean. "They welcomed me into their apartment and helped me get ahead, Cas, thank you for never giving up on me, even when times were difficult, without you I wouldn't be here today, I owe that to you." Gabriel said as he looked at his brother, Dean also looked at him, he only saw his profile but knew perfectly well that he was holding back a smile. "And I also owe a lot to Dean, without you I wouldn't be here today either, you accidentally were my cupid that afternoon while working in Kaito and you introduced me to Max, my life changed..." Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise as he smiled at Gabriel's words. "Because it turns out that happy endings do exist and this is the end of a story and the beginning of a new, because I fell so much in love with this human being that I want to spend my life with him." Now Gabriel turned to his husband. "With you I understood that you can love a person beyond their gender, you know how confused I was during a long time, but now I can say that I love you more than anything and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, for us. Cheers."

"Cheers!" All the guests said and drank their glass.

Dean avoided looking at Castiel's table during dinner, concentrating on talking to Sid and answering questions from the guests at his table about his pastries.
He excused himself and went out into the garden to take a call from Sam.

"What's up?" Dean asked, answering.

"How are things going?" Sam asked.

"Have you met Castiel yet?" Jess asked, she hadn't met him but after so many years in the family, she had heard the story over and over again when there were family gatherings while Dean stood drunk in the kitchen while Mary and Sam were sleeping.

"Yeah, we talked and everything." Dean shrugged.

"And how...?"

"What did he tell you? Did he speak as if nothing had happened?" Jess asked, interrupting Sam.  "Is it his wedding?"

"No, it's his brother's." Dean nodded in relief. "He greeted me and we had a short conversation."

"Are you serious?" Jess was indignant.

"What?"

"You've been waiting to see him again for years," Sam said. "And you just had small talk?"

"What was I supposed to tell him?" Dean asked. "Hey Cas, I can't stop thinking about you."

"Yes." Jess answered, sounding obvious. "That you should have done."

"No, maybe, I don't know..." Sam said. "Talk to him?"

Dean stayed silent.

"What if you never see him again?" Jess asked and Dean looked down at the grass under his shoes.

"Dean Winchester." They called him and Dean looked up, he found Michael, the oldest brother of the Novaks. "I didn't think you would come."

"I couldn't refuse." He answered, looking him straight in the eyes. "I'll call you later" he told Sam and Jess, he heard his protests but still hung up.

"Are you here to break my brother's heart again?" Michael blurted out. Dean looked at him silently and luckily for him, Hannah appeared.

"Michael, are you bothering Dean?" Hannah grabbed his shoulder and forced him to look at her.

"I just want to know how he's been," Michael said lying. "I want to know if he enjoyed Europe while Castiel suffered for him."

"Michael!" Hannah scolded him. "Dean, I'm sorry, you know how he is..."

"Don't worry, I know Michael has never liked me." Dean told Hannah. "I didn't really get to enjoy Europe, thanks for asking."

"My brother deserved better than you," Michael said and walked away.

"Dean, I'm really sorry, he's had too much to drink." Hannah began to apologize.

"Okay, I'm glad you're defending Cas now." Dean gave him a smile without showing his teeth. "It doesn't matter if I'm his new target."

"Yes, they reconciled a few years ago." Hannah smiled. "We were a family again."

"I'm very happy for you" Dean caught himself with a huge smile at the idea that the Novaks were united again.

After Max and Gabriel had their first dance, Dean was ready to leave using the pretext that he was very tired and had to travel early, he would only return to the hotel to lie in bed and hate himself for having dredged up his feelings, from there he would return to Los Angeles or even go to Paris to immerse himself in work day and night, so he would never think about Castiel again until he forgets what he feels again, it hurt him to know that he would never see him in person again but he had to do it for his sake but Jack ruined their plans.

"I can't believe that you haven't seen me in twelve years and asked me for help to fix your mischief." Dean said as he followed Jack, who stated that he may have destroyed a flower arrangement, in the garden there was a path, in the distance he saw a fountain and a small labyrinth.

"It won't be long." Jack told him, Dean frowned and began to suspect that this was still a destroyed flower arrangement. When they got to the fountain, he saw Castiel, he had his back towards them and there was smoke, so he assumed he was smoking.

"But..." Dean said.

"You have to talk to him," Jack answered quickly.

"Why?" Dean was confused.

"You need to fix what happened all those years ago." Dean frowned in confusion. "Cas is my favorite uncle and whenever he's too drunk to remember he talks to me about you." As the years went by Jack looked more and more like Jack. Castiel and Lucifer made the same gestures when speaking, it even reminded him of when he met Cas, even though Jack was 18 and Cas was 20, they had a great resemblance. Dean was speechless, he didn't expect to hear that.  "Ever since he found out that Uncle Gabe was inviting you he was very anxious, he has smoked too much."

"Didn't he protest?" He asked curiously.

"Of course not, I wouldn't do that to Gabe." Jack denied.

"It's something typical of Cas..." Dean shook his head.

"I'm leaving, so you guys have privacy." Jack fled before Dean could stop him.

Dean looked at Castiel's back, he was sitting on the edge of the fountain while keeping his eyes fixed on her, the cigarette was running out without him actually smoking it. Dean took a deep breath, taking some courage and slowly approached, taking a seat two meters from Castiel and Castiel looked at him.

"I didn't know you smoked," Dean said, meeting Castiel's eyes.

"Work made me start smoking," he said, taking a drag on the cigarette.

"It must be great, right?" Dean said, smiling sideways. "Being a detective and solving crimes... People saying you're like Eliot Ness or Sherlock Holmes."

"It's not as fun as it sounds," Castiel said expelling smoke from his mouth.

"Oh yeah... you must see horrible things." Dean apologized. "It's just that people admire you."

"How do you know that?" Castiel looked at him.

"Uhm, internet," Dean said nervously.

"Have you seen me on the internet? " Cas raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, sometimes news comes out about you." Dean cleared his throat.

"I didn't think someone as famous as you knew about me," Castiel answered in his usual neutral, almost cold tone.

"I'm not Beyoncé either..." Dean joked. "And I read the news."

"Every time I turn on the television you are there." Castiel said, smoking the last drag of the cigarette, then he turned it off. "Everyone is dying for you."

He stood up and was ready to leave but Dean stood up too.

"Wait," Dean said, unsure of what he was doing. Castiel stopped and looked at him. "I... I'm sorry, for everything."

He wasn't doing it because Jack had asked him to, he was doing it because he wanted to be able to move on with his life knowing that everything was fine between the two of them.

"Well, don't be sorry," he said, turning around.

"I just want to fix things..."

"There is nothing to fix." Castiel seemed upset. "Do you think that an I'm sorry for everything is going to fix twelve years?"

"I just want us to be okay." Dean looked down.

"You just want to feel good about yourself," Castiel demanded. "If you had cared, you wouldn't have left."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Dean asked indignantly. "You were the selfish one."

"I didn't disappear for twelve years without saying anything," Castiel said bitterly.

"What was I supposed to tell you?" Dean raised his voice.  "I'm going on an exchange, keep having fun without me."

"You didn't even say goodbye to me..." Castiel looked away.

"I couldn't," Dean accepted. "Not after you were about to undress her in my face."

"That's not how it happened..." Castiel said annoyed.

"I know what I saw." Dean looked him in the eyes. They looked beautiful in the night light, even if they were furious with him, those blue eyes were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"It doesn't matter anymore, it's been twelve years, right?" Castiel sounded hurt.

"Exactly, it doesn't matter how it was." I still care. He thought but he didn't have the courage to tell him. "I just want to make things happen..."

"There's nothing to talk about," Castiel said. "We're just two strangers at a wedding." You are the famous chef Dean Winchester who leads a life of glamor who baked a cake for my brother, and made room in his busy schedule to come to his wedding, I am just a simple detective.

"Those two years didn't mean anything to you?" Dean asked, offended by Castiel's words.

"I waited for you, for years," Castiel said, he was hurt. Those words broke Dean's heart.  "I called you, I wrote to you..."

"Cas..".

"No, don't say anything." Castiel stopped him. "I have enough to see you again."

"I wasn't the only one to blame here." Dean's voice shook.

"I didn't leave." Castiel said those words with a frivolous look.

"You were the one who left me aside, you were unfaithful to me, you never took me seriously." Dean raised his voice. "Why do you hate me so much?"

"Because I loved you and you left!" Castiel shouted at him. "Because you forgot about me and never called again."

"There wasn't a single day that I didn't think about you!" Dean said with a broken voice. "Do you know why my business doesn't exist in New York?" Castiel looked at him with a frown. "Because of you! Because this damn city reminds me of you, I wouldn't be able to walk through the streets without thinking about your voice, your hands intertwined with mine, about all the kisses we gave each other in the streets... Don't you dare say that you never I cared about you Castiel Novak, I never stopped loving you."

Castiel remained silent and Dean looked at him with tears in his eyes. He wished he could tell him how much he missed him, how often he thinks about his lips and his caresses, but he knew that if he opened his mouth to speak he would start to cry.

"Well, I guess there's nothing more to say..." Castiel said with a shrug.

"This was a mistake," Dean said with a broken voice and left without even looking at him, he arrived with Sid who was talking to the people at the table.

"Dean?" Sid asked worried.

"Let's go," Dean said flatly and without asking for more explanations, he stood up. "Get me out of here."

Sid took him by the arm and they left the place, took a taxi and went to the hotel, Dean did not speak the entire way and for the first time his friend and partner did not question him. Sid offered Dean company but he refused, he wanted to be alone, so they rented another room where Sydney would spend the night.

As soon as he entered the room and closed the door behind him he began to cry, his heart was broken again by the same man twelve years apart.

"And Dean?" Jack asked when he saw his uncle at the table just drinking.

"I don't know," he shrugged and Jack took the glass from him. "Hey!"

"Cas, you promised me you would talk to him." The youngest scolded him.

"And that's what we did." He shrugged his shoulders.

"And?" Jack asked expectantly.

"Many things have changed since then, kid" Castiel looked away. "I don't think we can solve this."

"But you said you love him..." Jack sounded disappointed. "Does he...does he love you?"

"That doesn't matter," Castiel said.

"He does..." Jack said making it sound so simple. "Cas you have to go get him."

"What?" He looked at his nephew.

"You can't let him go again," Jack insisted. "When will you have an excuse to see him again?"

"Jack, Dean and I love each other doesn't change things, I hurt him and he hurt me." Castiel explained.

"Did you ask him to stay?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, because it wouldn't work.." Castiel shrugged his shoulders, trying to convince himself of his words. "We are very different.

"Don't try to do this like Romeo and Juliet, just go get him, I'm begging you." Jack put the flats of his hands together."

"Why are you begging?" Kelly asked her son.

"It's nonsense," Castiel said.

"So he can go get Dean," he told his mother.

"Has Dean already left?" Kelly asked, surprised.

"Yes, but Cas is not keeping his part of the deal." Jack accused his uncle.

"Deal?" Kelly looked at her brother-in-law.

"He promised me that if I made an effort to make friends, he would fix things with Dean," Jack explained.

"I promised Jack that I would talk to him at the wedding and that's what I did." Cas intervened.

"But it didn't go well." Kelly was just trying to understand what they were up to.

"What did you expect? That we would confess our love and live happily ever after?" Castiel mocked.

"If you want to be with him, yes." Kelly shrugged.

"I ask him to stay with me, then what?"

"One step at a time," Jack said.

Dean put his jacket on a chair and took off his tie, wiped away his tears, and went to wash his face. Of all the ways he imagined this would go he never thought it would be like this. He opened his suitcase to put his tie away and found his old cell phone, turned it on and decided that reading Cas' messages wasn't a bad idea.

The last message sent was from three years ago, when he entered the conversation it opened from where he had not read them, twelve years ago.

12 years

12/13
Dean, we couldn't talk before you left for California.
You told Gabriel not to miss you and I already do. Call me.

12/15
You didn't answer today either, you took all your things, I'm worried, call me.

12/20
It's been more than a week and I don't know anything about you, you probably went on an exchange.
I wish I could have said goodbye.

12/22
Today I found a shirt, which I think is yours, it makes me miss you more.

12/25
Merry Christmas, wherever you are. I miss you, hope to see you soon xoxo.

12/31
Happy new year. I wish I could kiss you soon.

11 years ago

04/01
I tried to call you, it's early morning here, I assumed you'd be awake because of the time difference. I hope you're having fun.

01/24
Happy birthday Dean, I tried calling you today too but you didn't answer. I hope you enjoy your birthday very much, you are very important to me. You deserve more than the universe, an entire galaxy.

05/13
I tried to call you from Meg's cell phone while I was drunk. I'm sorry.

07/20
I know you're not coming back anytime soon and it breaks my heart.

09/09
I miss you a lot.

05/11
I never had the opportunity to tell you this, and I would like to tell you in person but I need you to know, I love you, it took me a long time to realize that I was in love, I always thought that I was only attracted to you physically and then I realized that our relationship was not just physical. It wasn't always about sex and kisses...

11/18
Today I dreamed about you, I dreamed that you kissed me and it felt so real that now I only live for that, for kissing you again.

11/27
Today I had an accident or something... I was riding my bike and a car crashed into me. I'm fine, I just have a broken arm.

12/12
Yesterday was my graduation. I wanted to celebrate it just with you.

10 years ago

01/24
Happy Birthday wherever you are, I hope you are happy.

02/22
Today I hit my head so hard in training that I felt disoriented, I thought about calling you but I know you're sleeping and you're not going to answer me.

07/19
Gabriel says you blocked me, that's why you're not answering. I just wish I could talk to you one more time.

04/10
I miss hearing you sing. I miss hearing you say my name.

9 years ago

03/11
In bad times I think about when you found me with Elizabeth. I'm so sorry, I regret it every damn day.
I think she never stopped being in love with me and when I least expected it she started kissing me, I wanted to walk away and you came in, you thought something else... I know it was my fault.

04/14
 l lwve yur
I love you I'm very drink
*drunk

06/18
I miss sleeping with you by my side.

09/28
I know you're already graduated and I wish I knew where you are... you're going to be very successful.

8 years ago

01/17
My friends beg me to give up on you but I don't want to let you go.

03/30
Today I bought angel food cake, it doesn't taste like yours. That made me cry.

10/05
Today I passed by our old building. I had to move as soon as I graduated, the building is only for students, it still hurts knowing that I had to leave our apartment.

08/11
I saw you on TV today, you're in LA. I am very happy because you are having a lot of success.
I had missed your voice.

7 years ago

04/19
I am proud that you are becoming more and more famous. I'm really happy for you.
I'm just a rookie, I want to become a detective.

05/31
I saw your first live interview! You look... changed.
I don't dare visit you in LA, I don't want you to think I'm a stalker.

07/17
I think my family finally forgave me, they are good to me now.

6 years ago

02/14
Gabriel has a boyfriend... I'm very proud of him, I wish you would be here.

03/06
I used to wrote to you in the hope that you would answer me, but this became therapeutic, talking to you here makes me feel better.
But I still miss you.

5 years ago

05/15
Today I solved my first case, it was a success, I am sure you would love to solve them with me.

09/28
I accidentally put your shirt in the washing machine, it doesn't smell like you anymore. I hated myself so much...
I seriously sound very pathetic.

4 years ago

04/24
Today you announced that you would open more franchises around the country, I can't wait to see the one in New York.

11/09
I traveled to Pennsylvania for work and tried one of your pies, I miss watching you cook.

12/21
It's funny that I thought I would never see you again and now I see you everywhere. It's not the same but at least I see you smiling.

3 years ago

04/01
I think it's useless to write to you if you're never going to see them. I've been assigned an undercover mission, I'm excited but I'm scared, I don't know if I'll come back, but I still think about you.

12/18

Today I was finally able to return home, being undercover was difficult and scary but on all those cold and lonely nights I thought of you and felt safe. Even when they shot me and I thought I was going to die but I needed to see you, I guess that kept me alive.

They are going to give me a medal of honor and I would like you to be there, how I would like to celebrate just with you.

12/31
Today I resigned, you will never come back.
I don't know if I'll see you again, but I wish you luck in life. I hope you are always happy.

That was the last message. There were some of the messages that Dean could read, there were too many, he left his phone on the floor and tears came out of his eyes without stopping, he spent so many years thinking that Castiel had not felt the same way about him. Dean broke Cas' heart. Cas broke Dean's heart.

First thing in the morning he would leave New York and would never return in his life. Dean just did his job of delivering the wedding cake, now he could go back to having his normal life. It would take Cas a while to get out of his mind but he would make it. If necessary he would go to Europe once again to heal.

There was a knock on the door and Dean assumed it was Sid, he didn't want to listen to sermons, much less did he want pity or pity. Two knocks on the door sounded again and Dean stood up to open it.

"Sid, I don't want to talk." Dean said as he opened the door, he met the hotel receptionist. "I'm sorry, I thought..."

"Are you... okay?" The man asked. "The guests next door called saying they heard cries..."

"Yes." Dean cleared his throat. "I just watched Titanic, it always makes me very emotional." Dean used sarcasm so that it wouldn't be so uncomfortable.

"Oh, sorry, Mr. Winchester."

"It's okay." Dean couldn't even fake a smile, he just closed the door.

When he walked away to continue crying, there was a knock on the door again. In front of him was the receptionist again.

"If you need to talk to someone, Miss Carlson can help you." The man handed him a card for psychological help from the hotel.

"Thank you but I haven't finished my movie marathon yet and I don't have time." Dean said once again sarcastically and closed the door in his face again. Less than five minutes later there was a knock on the door again and Dean opened it desperately. "What now?" Dean was frowning but his expression changed when he saw Castiel in front of him, he was stunned. "Cas..."

"Do you have time to talk?"

Dean stepped aside and let him into the room, it was a bit messy. His suitcase was open on the floor, his jacket and tie were on the table, his shoes were near the bed, which was also a little messy. Castiel stepped into the room and watched him.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked behind him. "You're missing your brother's wedding..."

"I don't think he notices my absence." Castiel shrugged. "Now he only has eyes for Max."

"It's good to know that he rebuilt his life." Dean said, looking at the carpet in the room, neither of them moved, Castiel was next to the bed and Dean was two meters from the door. Cas looked closely at Dean, his eyes looking sad, watery and puffy.

"I came to fix things." Dean looked up and met Castiel's. "Jack made me see reason."

"That kid should be a politician, he convinces people so easily." Dean said surprised at Jack.

"He is very smart." Cas nodded proudly.

"He looks exactly like you did twelve years ago, that's going to open a lot of doors for him..." Dean smiled remembering Cas.

"Because his uncle is Eliot Ness according to you?"

"Because your eyes are irresistible, you can't deny them anything." Dean said without thinking. "Jack has that same look..."

Dean made Castiel smile and even after so many years, his chest had that warm feeling, the same one he used to get when he kissed Cas, when he woke up next to him and when he smiled at him.

"I shouldn't have let you go," Castiel said. "Not today, not twelve years ago."

"If I hadn't left me, we would have killed each other." Dean confessed.

"I remember when I used to write to you, I would wait until it was daylight in Europe and I would send you messages, I hoped that one day you would answer me... it was easier to hold on to the idea that you would come back." Castiel said, looking at Dean's eyes. eyes. "Elizabeth and I used to be the closest..."

"Cas..." Dean was about to stop him.

"No, just let me explain." Castiel said and continued. "We were best friends but the night she confessed to me that she felt something more than friendship for me, I couldn't reciprocate her and she went home or that's what I had believed ...I discovered that she was with some boys from school, they had gotten her drunk and if they hadn't arrived..." Castiel didn't say anything else, Dean now understood Castiel's guilt. "I'm sorry, Dean." Castiel said. "Because of the silly fights, because of Elizabeth, because of everything, I was an idiot and I didn't know how I felt about you until you left, by then it was too late... is it still too late?"

Dean looked at Castiel, they always had a complicated relationship, Dean used to think it was because they were young and didn't know how to handle the relationship.

"Are you asking me... to try again?"

"Is it working?" Castiel asked.

"You konw, I never knew the exact moment I fell in love," Dean said. "One day I just noticed, everything was going well between the two of us and I decided not to say it, because I wasn't ready and I had my doubts about you, I saw you with Elizabeth and you told me that you kept talking to your exes... I missed Paris for crying for you." Dean laughed as his voice shook. "I didn't allow anyone to get close to me for years, one day I just moved on and years later yours arrives. brother telling me about a big wedding in the family and thinking about seeing you again unearthed all those feelings for you... But I don't know if I'm ready for this... for you."

"Oh, I understand." Castiel cleared his throat. "I uhm maybe I should go..."

"I never said I wouldn't try," Dean said stopping Castiel, his hand was holding his arm, it was thicker than before.

Castiel's eyes traveled from Dean's eyes to his lips, it was the first time that the blonde had touched him after twelve years and Castiel longed for this day, when he would have Dean in front of him, where he could touch him again. .
Without saying anything, Castiel crashed his lips into Dean's and they began to kiss desperately, he grabbed him by the waist while Dean ruffled his fingers in Cas's hair, the older man made the blonde back up until he collided with the door.
Dean allowed Cas' tongue to enter his mouth and his tongues began to caress each other, Dean let out a small moan that drove Castiel crazy, his mouth traveled to Dean's neck to allow him to breathe, kissed his neck and gave it small bites, causing Dean to tremble on top of Cas, who picked him up while they continued kissing and headed to the bed where they fell down and continued kissing.

"You have no idea how many nights I thought about this," Castiel said as he kissed his neck, he let out a small moan in response and began to unbutton his shirt. Castiel also began to unbutton Dean's shirt and the two of them were naked from the torso, the blonde could see Castiel's marked abdomen, he now had a tattoo on his ribs, he let his hands caress him and looked at Cas.

"This is new." He told him smiling. Castiel moved closer and kissed him again as his hips rocked against Dean's for friction.

Cas continued his travels up Dean's body, his tongue caressing the sensitive nipples and his teeth nipping at the other's skin. Dean shook and moaned at every little movement, just shifting on his back.
Once Cas worked his way between Dean's legs, he stood up and unbuckled his belt, ditching Dean's pants and boxers freeing his throbbing cock. Cas kissed Dean's inner thigh, biting and sucking until a deep mark appeared.

"Oh fuck, Cas." Dean whipped his head as he gripped the sheets tightly. "You're still overdressed..."

"We have all night," Novak answered and went up to his lips again, gave them a long kiss and then went down on his neck and abdomen, they were small kisses and bites, until he reached his pelvis, Castiel looked at Dean From below, he looked desperate. Cas gave him a smile and wrapped his lips around Dean's cock and started slowly going all the way down, Dean started to whimper as he tried to keep his eyes open.

"Cas, please... I want to feel you." Dean managed to say. Castiel didn't let go of Dean until he made him cum. Dean took a deep breath and tried to calm himself as Cas wiped his mouth. He moved closer to his face again and presented two fingers to her.

"Suck," he told him and Dean was still numb but he didn't waste time and licked his fingers, moaning softly against them. His green eyes remained open the entire time, just looking at Cas longingly. Once his fingers were completely lubricated, he positioned himself near the man's entrance.
Cas leaned down to come face to face with Dean's pretty pink hole, pushing in one finger, then the second and the third, Castiel licked his lips, removing his fingers once he thought the man was ready enough.

"I want to be on top," Dean said panting, he approached and kissed Castiel and then pushed him to the bed. He unbuttoned his pants and took them off, Castiel was as hard as he was, Dean took Cas's cock in his hand and rubbed it a little, he wanted to suck on it, but he was more desperate to have him inside that he lined himself up and slowly slid over it. "Cas, you feel so good." Dean held himself in place as he adjusted to the shape and weight stretching him.

"You're still so perfect after so much." Castiel groaned and grabbed Dean's hips, carefully lifting himself up as Dean continued to take every last inch. "I'm not going to last long."

"You said we had all night." Dean leaned forward to kiss Cas, the older man smiled and began to thrust into Dean, who screamed as he pushed him closer to the edge again.
It was such an intense feeling, he knew he was going to cum soon and obviously Castiel wasn't that far away either. -Cas, I'm going to cum...

"Shit..." Cas's hips stuttered. His body trembled and his head bowed as he entered the younger man hard.

The feeling of Cas filling him was enough to make Dean come, a loud, strained cry leaving his throat that would no doubt feel terribly sore in the morning.
He felt so good, but it wasn't enough. Dean needed more from him. Cas continued to fuck him hard despite coming.

Dean threw his head back, his body shaking as Cas continued to fuck him, moaning and grunting. He leaned in and kissed him hard, pushing his tongue into her mouth and their tongues swirling together. With how sensitive his cock felt, it didn't take him long to fill Dean for the second time. His body fell against Castiel's as he came, panting hard against the man's neck.

The air was heavy with the stench of sex. Dean gave his neck a soft, gentle kiss once he had taken a breath.

"I'm sorry, I know you're going to feel this for days..."

"You apologize too often now," Dean muttered.

"I don't think I've finished apologizing to you enough," Cas whispered.

"Shut up," Dean told him as he wrapped his arms around Cas' neck and pulled him in for a kiss. "Apology accepted."

They both laughed. Dean was exhausted and settled on Castiel's chest to sleep, Cas caressed his back while looking at the ceiling of the room. Neither of them imagined that his day would end this way.

Chapter Text

The next morning Dean woke up alone in bed, for a moment he felt disappointment at the thought that Cas was gone. But he heard the water running in the shower and smiled, he still couldn't believe they had made up.

Suddenly Castiel came out of the bathroom, he only had a towel wrapped around his hip, his body was full of drops of water that ran from his hair. Dean got a better look at the tattoo on his ribs.

"Good morning." Castiel said approaching the bed.

"Good morning to you too." Dean smiled at him and they shared a short kiss on the lips. When he walked away, Dean caressed Cas's tattoo. "The tattoo is very sexy, huh."

Castiel laughed while he picked up his clothes from the floor.

"Oh, you don't have to wear your suit again." Dean stopped him, wrapped himself in the sheet, remembering that he was still completely naked, and stood up to look for his suitcase. He grabbed some jeans and a shirt, handing them to Cas. “Wear my clothes.”

"Thank you," he replied, taking the clothes. "You should take a shower... before I decide to take that sheet off."

"You don't change," Dean answered and headed to the bathroom.

They had breakfast in the hotel restaurant, they still didn't know very well what would happen now. Dean texted Sid saying he was going out all day. Later he would tell her about his reconciliation.

"Kelly is pretty tough," Dean said as he drank from his coffee cup.

"She knows the whole story." Cas explained. "In fact, when Hannah had the idea of giving Gabe a cake made by you she refused."

"So she hates me." Dean nodded.

"No, I don't see it that way." Cas lit a cigarette. "She thought a cake of yours was a bad idea."

"She doesn't like my cakes?" Dean cocked his head.

"She just knew that was going to open a wound." Castiel nodded.

"Oh, if it consoles you, it also opened a wound in me."

"I'm an idiot, I always have been."

"I can't deny that." Dean admitted and Castiel feigned indignation. "I was too, I think we were just very young..."

"Dean Winchester?" A voice asked next to him, the two turned around, Dean shifted uncomfortably when he saw Kate Hamilton, the journalist who had been lining him up for months for an interview. "How strange to see you here."

"Kate." Dean faked a smile. Castiel just watched them while he continued eating breakfast. The redhead looked at Castiel and smiled.

"New boyfriend? " She asked, delighted to be able to tell this to the world, she took out his cell phone and began to record an audio note. "Does that mean that there is a possibility that you come more often? Will The Sugar Bloom be available in the big city?"

"Kate," Dean repeated, using his kindest tone. "It's Sunday morning, we're trying to have breakfast."

"It doesn't cost anything to answer yes or no." She insisted with her smile just as fake as Dean's.

"I'm sorry, you know I don't talk much about my private life." Dean answered and the redhead's smile faded. "In some television forum I will answer any questions you want about my business."

The woman put away her cell phone, annoyed by her.

"Enjoy breakfast." Kate answered annoyed and walked away from them.

"Quite a celebrity." Castiel said smiling.

"It's very overwhelming." Dean let out a sigh.

"I was always aware of your work," Dean admitted shyly. They walked through Central Park aimlessly.

"Really?" Castiel asked, amazed.

"Yes, I knew that you won a medal and that to get it you almost died." Dean said looking at Castiel. "I must admit that when I found out about your cover-up I almost fainted, you shouldn't have risked yourself like that."

"It was for a good cause."

"I mean it's very sexy that you went undercover and took down a drug trafficking and child trafficking network but you could have died."

"It was just a bullet." Castiel shrugged.

"Still." Dean stopped him and stood in front of him. "I wanted to visit you many times."

"What prevented you?"

"I was scared." Dean nodded. "I couldn't just show up at the hospital and ask how you were."

"You could have done it." Castiel nodded.

"I wasn't brave enough." Dean looked down.

Castiel kissed him, it was a slow and tender kiss. Cas and Dean made up for some lost time that Sunday, but unfortunately they had to separate again. Cas works on Monday and Dean had to go back to Los Angeles.

"I hate goodbyes," Dean said in front of Cas. They were at the airport face to face.

"You're so bad at saying goodbye," Cas said, Dean smiled and rolled his eyes.

"I don't know what to say."He said while judging with his hands. "I guess..."

"We will see each other again?"

"Of course." Dean caressed Cas' cheek. "I mean, only if you want to."

Cas gave Dean a long kiss.

"I can't wait to see you again." Dean smiled at him and they hugged.

They said their business goodbyes and Dean flew to Los Angeles, where he thought about Cas all the time. In the morning he told everything to Sid and Rowena who had also returned from Paris, the two women were happy to know that they had reconciled.
When they went out to breakfast they were approached by many paparazzi and journalists who wanted to ask Dean about his new boyfriend.

"Boyfriend?" Dean asked confused. Someone showed him photos of him with Cas in the hotel restaurant having breakfast and the kiss Cas had given her in Central Park, he knew it was Kate. "I have nothing to comment on."

They returned to the office and ordered food from there.

"Are they going to harass me until I give an answer?"

"It seems so," Rowena said, watching from the window.

Dean's cell phone vibrated.

"Cas?"

"Dean, why are there 10 reporters at the police station asking about me?"

"Cas photos were leaked."

"What kind of photos?" He asked cautiously.

"Of us having breakfast and in Central Park." Dean said. "You pervert."

"You love it." Cas blurted out. "How do I go to the new case if I can't get out of here?"

"I'm sorry, Cas." Dean apologized desperately. "I didn't want this to happen."

"It's okay." Cas answered. "You can't do anything, I'll find a way to get out through the back."

They were the most exhausting two weeks for Cas and Dean, they were harassing them at their jobs to get answers, some nights they talked on the phone and told each other the stupid questions they were asked, every day without any more meaning.

"Tomorrow I'm going to clarify everything." Dean said.

"What will you do?"

"I will say that you and I are friends, that we reunited after a long time." Said Dean, sure of himself, they had not clarified things between them. "So they would leave you alone."

"Friends," Cas repeated, not very convinced. "Yes, that will do."

"Are you free this weekend?" Dean cleared his throat.

"Yes I am."

"I want to see you," Dean said.

"Aren't you busy like 24/7?"

"For you I can make the exception."

"And do you plan to come to New York?" Castiel asked from the other side of the line.

"Sure."

"I'll see you here then."

In the morning, as Dean arrived at the offices in Los Angeles, he found a gaggle of paparazzi and reporters waiting for him. As he parked, he took a deep breath and got out of the car.

"Dean." I heard the reporters mention him. "We just want to talk to you."

Dean stopped in front of the group, everyone held up their microphones and cameras and spoke all at once.

"Dean, are the rumors true that you are dating Detective Castiel Novak?"

"Is it true that he was undercover? Was he a corrupt police officer?"

"Wow." Dean stopped them. "There has been a lot of speculation about those photographs, I have to clarify that we are just friends... we met after a long time without seeing each other."

"What about the kiss?" It was what they asked the most.

"Have you never kissed a friend?" Dean asked.

They all asked different things at the same time and Dean couldn't understand them.

"He's not corrupt, he was doing his job," Dean clarified. "Castiel Novak is an honorable man... now, if you'll excuse me, I have a job."

Dean began to change as they followed him to continue asking him questions but Dean ignored them.

He was looking forward to the weekend and the few remaining days flew by, in the blink of an eye he was walking through the airport while he saw Castiel waiting for him in the distance, Dean smiled and when he arrived he greeted him with a small kiss on the cheek .

As they walked to Cas' car, they talked about Gabriel's honeymoon.

"Greetings," Castiel said and Dean smiled.

"Gabe and I didn't have much time to catch up."

"They'll have it." Cas nodded. "There are three paparazzi following us."

"What?" Dean looked around, he didn't see anyone with a camera. "How do you know?"

"I'm a detective, people follow me all the time," Castiel explained.

"That's worrying." Dean looked at him scared.

"They started following us since we met." He said as he continued walking calmly.

"Ugh, they will never leave us alone."

"They were not convinced by your statement," Castiel stated.

"I know." Dean let out a sigh.

Dean was planning to stay in a hotel but Cas had refused, he would stay in his apartment. The place was impeccable, very tidy as expected. Dean browsed around the place finding old and new photographs of Castiel with other people.

"Are you still in contact with Meg and Balthazar?

"Yes, after we graduated we lived together for a while." Castiel nodded. "Meg moved to Toronto and Balthazar is in Florida."

"I feel like I missed a lot," Dean said as he looked at pictures with Jack.

"Well, it's been twelve years." Castiel shrugged and cleared his throat. "I'll take your things to my room, I'll sleep on the couch."

"What?" Dean looked at him. "No, I'll do it, I'm the guest."

"That's why you deserve comfort."

"It's your apartment, you also deserve comfort." Dean said, approaching.

"What are you implying?" Castiel asked with a sideways smile.

"I'm just saying, we should be comfortable." Dean couldn't help but smile and shrugged. Cas moved closer and started kissing him.

"I think we should talk about the elephant in the room," Dean said between kisses, Castiel pulled away and looked at him confused. The two took a seat on the couch as far apart as they could. "I think we have to clarify what we didn't do twelve years ago." Dean looked at Castiel. "I still love you and since the last time I saw you, it hasn't happened a night when I don't think about you."

"I do it too, I have always thought about you." Castiel nodded. "But you already knew that..."

"If we're going to try this... we'd better be on the same page." Dean shifted in his seat.

"If you want to try it?"

"Yes, but I want us to go slow" Dean looked down, Cas took him in his hands and raised his head. "Like I told you, I need to be ready."

"As long as I'm with you, I can expect anything."

"I would also like us not to hide anything from each other... the first time communication failed."

"Many things would have been different..."

"Now they will be." Dean smiled and caressed Cas's hand.

"So... what, are we dating now?"

"Yeah, I guess." Dean smiled. They kissed slowly, filling each other's bodies with caresses and sighs.

"I love you... I could never tell you the first time." Castiel said in a whisper. "Is it too early for that?"

"Not at all." Dean smiled and continued kissing him. "I love you more."

They took small steps, they saw each other two weekends a month, they spent vacations together and of course they slept together, sometimes Dean went to New York and other times Castiel visited some state where Dean was. Sometimes they had dinner with Sam and Jess at home or at a restaurant with a good view.

At Sid's wedding, Castiel decided to formalize their relationship, they would now officially be a couple. They had a lot of fun in Italy, as Dean knew many places and his Italian was improving, Castiel complimented him every night on how well he spoke Italian, so much so that on the flight back it was very uncomfortable to sit.

They started seeing each other more often until it got to the point where they wanted to see each other every day, so Dean decided to move to New York to be with Cas. He could now visit Sam more often too.

Dean surprised Cas by opening a Sugar Bloom in New York, just two blocks from the police station. Cas was excited and was the first in town to eat a dessert from The Sugar Bloom. Everything was going great, while they were having breakfast with Sam at a restaurant, Castiel received a call from the police station asking him to go undercover once again, which left Dean with mixed feelings.

"No way," Dean answered upon hearing the news.

"This is a great opportunity." Castiel tried to reassure him.

"What if you don't come back?" Dean crossed his arms. "What if you get hurt?"

"It's not as dangerous as the last time."

"I... I don't want anything to happen to you." Cas could see the fear in Dean's eyes.

"I'll be fine," Castiel assured him.

"You don't know that, you could die tomorrow, I could die tomorrow." Dean started to get nervous. "What happens if I never see you again?"

"I'll come back, I promise."

"How long?"

"It could be months, years..."

"Okay." Dean gave up and nodded a little sadly. "I'll wait for you."

They didn't have much time to say goodbye, the weekend flew by between packing Cas' things and hiding the photos, from now on Cas had to get off the map. Cas' colleagues were all over the apartment helping them hide things, even Dean had to learn the protocol he now had to follow: what to say if they asked about Cas, how he should act if he thought he was in danger, now a detective would be in charge of follow him everywhere to protect him, he even learned self-defense.

On Sunday night Cas had to leave, Dean gave him a long kiss and watched him disappear into the darkness, there was his second chance to be with Cas.

While he was in an interview, the interviewer asked him the question he received so much since he was dating Cas.

"Is the detective your boyfriend?"

"Since they always ask me, if he is my boyfriend." Dean nodded.

"Since when?"

"A few months?" Dean said without really knowing how to respond.

"I know you don't like to talk about these things, but what can you tell us about yourselves?"

"Cas and I have known each other for a long time." Dean said and smiled. "A year ago we met again and realized that we had always been in love."

Fate seemed to want Dean and Cas together, because in six months he returned home, where Dean welcomed him enthusiastically. Dean hadn't been in danger in all those months and luckily Cas wasn't hurt despite the dangers he had to run.

Cas arrived a few days before Christmas and Mary had invited them to Kansas to celebrate the holidays as a family. Cas was nervous because it would be the first time he would meet Dean's mother and he didn't have good experience with mothers.

Mary welcomed him with open arms, she seemed very happy to meet him and made him feel part of the family, Cas was happy that Mary overcame all her prejudices and accepted Dean for who he is, he still wished that his mother had done the same. same; perhaps in other circumstances, where Michael would never have found him.

At night, they were in Dean's old room, Cas looking around while Dean put on his pajamas.

"I always thought this place would be full of sports stuff."

"I was when I was a child... but when I was a teenager I got rid of everything, I never liked sports, my father forced me."

"He would have hated me, right?"

"Probably." Dean nodded. "And I would have loved you even more for that."

"Dean, you're quite the rebellious teenager."

"What can I tell you?" He shrugged his shoulders. "I love the forbidden."

They gave a passionate kiss and were interrupted by Sam, who opened the door but had one hand covering his eyes.

"I hope they are dressed." Sam said in front of them, Jess came behind and Sam also covered her eyes.

"It's safe to see."

"Oh thank you." Sam thanked the heavens and Jess closed the door behind them. "Mom's been depressed the last year...she's been missing Dad and I thought we could take her on a picnic like old times."

"Yes, that's a great idea." Dean nodded. "Cas and I could prepare food while you distract her and we surprise her at the park."

"I think Cas should be with her," Jess suggested. Cas shifted in her seat and looked at the brothers. "You know, so they can get to know each other better."

Sam and Jess had been together since college and even though they weren't engaged yet, Dean knew that Jess was already part of the family. She and Mary had a good relationship and she adored Jess as if she were her daughter.

"I could try." Castiel nodded and shrugged.

When Sam and Jess disappeared, Cas looked at Dean.

"Are you sure you want to be alone with my mother?"

"I don't think I'm good with mothers but I can try my best." He shrugged and Dean smiled at him.

"You're going to love it." he winked at her.

And Cas had the most uncomfortable morning: he accompanied Mary to do the shopping and the trip to the supermarket felt eternal, they had nothing to talk about.

"Dean told me you're a detective," Mary commented as they got out of the car. "It must be very dangerous."

"Yes, many times it is." Castiel nodded. "But it is part of my job, to keep others safe."

"He also told me that you won a medal of honor." They entered the store while they were talking. "Your parents must be very proud."

"I don't think so." Castiel cleared his throat.

"You risked your life for others, that's very brave." Mary stated as she took things from the shelves and placed them in the cart that Cas was pushing. "It's something any parent would be proud of."

"I mean, I don't know... my father died almost 20 years ago." Mary stopped and looked at Castiel, she gave him that same sad look that Dean gave her. "And my mother, well I'm sure she doesn't even recognize me like his son..."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it." Mary apologized.

"It's okay, you didn't know." Castiel nodded. "Besides, it's something I let go a long time ago."

"If one day you need support, I'm here." Mary gently rubbed her hand on Cas's shoulder. "We all need a mother."

"I..." Castiel didn't know what to say, his mother-in-law had just accepted him into the family in the detergent aisle. "Thank you."

"We may have just met in person..." Mary said as they changed hallways. "But my son has talked so much about you over the years that he practically already knew you."

"Did Dean talk to you about me?" He asked, surprised.

"Of course, being drunk." Mary smiled "He pretended to be fine and never mentioned you but after a few drinks, he forgot..."

"I always regretted having hurt Dean." Castiel was sorry.

"Dean was also very sorry," Mary said. "But that doesn't matter anymore because they are together again."

"Yes..." Castiel smiled and they changed the subject.

Once inside the car they prepared to go to the park, although Mary did not know it.

-You missed the street." Mary watched as they walked away from the path home. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." Castiel looked at her and gave her a small smile.

Sam and Dean were fighting over how to open a wine, neither of them had brought the corkscrew, so Sam was suggesting using a knife, while Dean wanted to use his boot to pop the cork. Jess just watched them fight, Mary and Cas walked over and also watched them argue while laughing.

"Two successful older men, with stable jobs and they don't mature." Mary said smiling.

"They haven't changed anything." They exchanged looks and laughed.

"Together they only have one braincell between the two of them." Jess said.

Luckily, Castiel brought his utility knife where he had a small corkscrew that saved them.

"I'm so happy to know that I have a Boy Scout for a boyfriend." Dean said to Cas and while his mother was talking to Jess and Sam was distracted, he came over to whisper in Cas' ear. "At night I want to thank you"

Cas and Dean exchanged a knowing look and smiled. Mary told Castiel about how cute Dean used to be when he was a little boy and she took it upon herself to embarrass him in front of her boyfriend like any proud mother.

They spent Christmas in Kansas with Mary, Sam and Jess, but they had to return to New York for New Year's, since Sam had a business dinner, Cas and Dean just wanted time alone so they could have more privacy.

Once on the plane, Cas asked Dean to follow him to the bathroom, five minutes later they were kissing inside the plane's bathroom, Cas's hand went down to Dean's belt and began to unbuckle it, once he was undressed he began to caress him and For a moment I wish I had lube or lotion on hand. The bathroom is extremely small so Cas sat down and Dean straddled Cas's legs. They heard footsteps outside the bathroom and Dean pulled away from Cas's lips for a few seconds.

"Maybe we should go sit down," Dean whispers, panting.

"You have a perfectly good place to sit right here," Cas said smiling. Dean blushed and tried not to laugh.

The kisses continued as Cas got Dean ready. His mouth muffled her moans but it wasn't enough, they needed to be quieter.

"I want to make you feel so good, Dean," Cas said with the deep voice that Dean likes.

"Cas..." Dean complained.

"Shh..."

Cas began to guide him towards Dean. Then Dean sank to the bottom.

"I heard that... altitude affects the intensity of orgasms," Dean whispered. "It's supposed to feel better."

"We have to find out." Cas bit his lip and his hands gripped Dean's ass and guided Dean's up and down movement.

Dean bit his lip and let out a soft moan that Cas immediately muffled with a kiss. The movements accelerated quite quickly.

Soon Dean had to stop kissing Cas to breathe. He was panting very hard and his eyes were closed. Dean is the first to finish, while Cas speeds up his movements and finishes seconds later.

After a short rest, they separate and quickly get dressed. Cas is the first one out of the bathroom and Dean waits a few minutes to come out. When they return to their seat Sam looks at them surprised and disgusted.

"I can't believe they just... ugh." He shakes his head and his attention returns to the movie as Cas and Dean share a short kiss.

"Envy?" Dean asked.

"Sam's not that brave," Jess laughed.

"We are on a plane, that is dangerous." he justified herself.

"Chicken." Jess said.

When they landed in New York, they went to the airport food court, Sam approached Dean as they watched Cas and Jess buy coffee.

"I'm glad you and Cas are together." Sam admitted. "You look... so happy next to him."

"I am, I feel lucky." Dean nodded, put his hand in his pocket and took out a small box. "Look at this."

Dean opened the box to show a ring inside, Sam took a few seconds to react because he was very excited.

"Is it the ring of...?"

"Mom's, well at least the pearl is." Dean closed the box. "She gave it to me before we left."

"When are you going to ask him?"

"New Year." Dean smiled.

"What about New Year's?" Jess asked as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Dinner with my partners, remember?" Sam improvised.

"Oh, maybe we could invite you guys." Jess smiled at them.

"We would love to but we have plans." Cas said.

Sam and Dean exchanged glances.

New Year's Eve came quickly, Dean was so nervous he could feel his knees shaking. At night, they went up to the roof garden of his apartment where they had dinner and waited for the ball to drop, which could be seen a few blocks away.

They watched the sky while leaning on the balcony, drinking wine while talking about their visit to Lawrence.

"I told you she was going to like you," Dean said, drinking from his glass.

"Yes, well that was unexpected."

"Who could hate you?" Dean asked him, meeting those blue eyes. "You are beautiful, your eyes are irresistible, even if you are strange, you are still charming and sexy."

"Well, there's my mother..." Cas began to list.

"What a shame for her, she doesn't know what a great son she has."

It was five minutes to midnight and Dean started to get nervous, now it was time to give him a speech about how much he loved him and then get down on one knee.

"Cas..."

"Dean..."

They spoke at the same time and laughed.

"During the last years of my life, I felt miserable." Cas began to speak. "Before I met you I never believed I loved someone and I wasn't interested in the slightest, then you came into my life and turned everything upside down but then you came back. to disappear... Then I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I was not going to be able to love anyone else, not the way I love you and I resigned myself, I once again believed that love was not for me... yes Had it not been for Hannah, I would never have looked for you and probably would have seen thanks to television how you had a perfect relationship with someone famous..."

10
9
8

"But apparently after the storm comes the rainbow and you are my rainbow Dean."

7
6

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you..."

"Cas..." Dean wanted to stop him.

5
4

"No, let me finish." Cas denied and knelt down.

3
2
1

"Dean Winchester, will you marry me?" Castiel took out a wedding ring from his pocket.

Happy new year!

Dean smiled with tears in his eyes, knelt down in front of Cas and pulled the small box out of his pocket just to show Cas the ring.

"I was supposed to be the one who was going to propose to you." The two laughed through tears, while above them the sky was filled with fireworks and the city celebrated New Year's.

"Of course I want to spend my life with you." Dean said. "You mean the world to me, I don't think I can love anyone again and I don't plan to lose you again."

"I'm never going to let you go," Cas said and the two put on each other's rings.

"I love you Cas." Dean said approaching his now fiancé to kiss him.

"I love you, Dean."

END.