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Chapter Text

To be honest, the screams reminded him of the good times. When they were younger and carefree. He had raised him to his best ability, though that must've not been good enough. When compared to the annoyance he was being given now, the eight year old cries for ice cream were cute. But now? This was anything but cute. This was a twenty year old man, screaming his head to the stars and back. Crying to no damn end, which made his already splitting headache hurt by ten extra times.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"

 He finally screamed. And it felt good . Good in a way that made him want to yell again. Good in a way that told him to just go berserk. 

 He kicked the vulnerable body that was brother, sliding his light body across the floor. Of course, all that came from him was another ear-piercing screech and a groan in pain.

 He walked over to his brother and stomped on his non-existent gut. Sure, it was harsh, but it couldn't have been too harmful. The stuff he was doing could never even knock off half a health point. Although, there was a lot of stuff that can't bring someone's HP down.. but that's besides the point. His brother was pathetic, and needed to toughen up.

 And needed to toughen up.

 Oh shit. He recognized that mentality anywhere. 

 He looked down at his brother, bruised and on the floor. Again. He had lashed out on him again, hadn't he? He had hurt him after promising not to (again), didn't he?

 It's not like it was his fault. It was the last bit of the monsters he had killed. Their LV. It wasn't easy to be a pacifist when it came to having high LV. 

 LV would change you as a person. It would take you, and rip your soul right out of your body, and squeeze every last drop of the person you once were, out of you. 

 That's why he never allowed his brother to fight back in dangerous scenarios. Not only because he was weak, but also because of the fear that he would gain any LV at all. It's why he tried his best not to gain any. Though he had failed miserably at that after, in a stupid attempt to protect his only family, he joined the Royal Guard. 

 But now, the manic of his LV had taken over, and once again, he harmed his brother. He felt bad, but in a way, he didn't care. It wasn't his fault he got mad. The stupid sack of bones knew his triggers, yet he decided to mess with them. 

 He didn't say sorry. You don't say sorry, in the Underground. You don't feel sorry. It's a kill or be killed world out there, and it does not waste time for pathetic weaklings such as Sans. It's honestly a miracle he's still alive honestly.

 Papyrus scoffed, then stormed up to his room.

 Sans stood up, patting his knees. He checked his body for any wounds, and of course, he was covered in massive bruises. 

 He knew Papyrus didn't mean it though. It wasn't his fault. There was just something about the way he unceremoniously stomped his feet into the stairs as soon as he was done that left a sour taste in his mouth. He never apologized, but at least he would care for him afterward. This time, he did nothing. And he felt that maybe, just maybe , it meant he didn't regret it.

"shoulda known he would get set off by that. he always does."

  He thought out loud. He went into the bathroom, sighing when he saw his reflection. He was barely able to reach the sink. Who says he wouldn't need help reaching for the medical supplies?

" and for what? a bad joke? a good laugh? it's getting hard to tell the difference between what's okay and what's not."

 He grabbed the stool inside the cabinet and placed it in front of the sink. He pulled his small body onto the sink, and strategically placed his feet in one corner. He stretched his lazy 4'9 coccyx up to the top of the medicine cabinet.

" of course he puts the shit i need in the highest places.."

 He slightly strained his arm before he could knock down what he needed. He shoved it all to the side, causing several big crashes. 

 The sudden noise was better than struggling, though. He climbed back down the sink, and rummaged through the supplies, searching for what he needed. 

 Soon enough, he found some badges and a couple cooling packets. Normally, he would use ice, but there was nothing ready for him. No one could've seen this coming. They never do. Then, it's too late.

 He quickly wrapped the cooling packs around his bruises, then tightly held them there with the bandages. He looked a bit funny, though it would have to do for now. He left the bathroom,  leaving the pile of medical supplies on the floor.

As he left the bathroom, he turned off the lights. 

A thought in his mind told him to check on Papyrus, but he just tossed it aside. He walked into his own room, past the piles upon piles of messy clothes lying on the floor, and around the trash hoard in the middle of his room. 

Usually his room would be neat and clean, but the past few weeks have been hard. Each day he struggles to get out of bed, especially as the mess grows. He has to stomach the food he is given each morning despite his low appetite.

He then has to pull himself through another wretched day of boring work. He would typically brighten the mood by doing a couple knock-knock jokes, but recently, he's been struggling to come up with anything. He's been losing interest for a bit now, but continues to try, despite knowing it won't work.

He glances up at what's left of his bookshelf, snorting at the sciency books. He had been interested in all that before, but soon it just started to seem useless and he dropped it.

" heh. what a nerd," he comments. He barely recognizes himself as the same cocky and confident person he was a couple weeks before.

The crunch of a half-eaten chip bag under his foot brought him back to reality. He sighed, crawling into bed, ready for an insomnia-filled night.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Papyrus shot up in bed. He turned to check the time, it being exactly 6:00. 

He slid his feet over the side of the bed, and stepped down. He quietly moved to his door, then walked down the hall to Sans' room. He bashed on the door, creaking on it like crazy. 

"WAKE THE FUCK UP!!"

Unfortunately, there was no answer.

He swung the door open and walked through the garbage dumb that was Sans' room. The loud pounds of his feet showed no mercy to the trash being crushed underneath. Once he arrived at the yellowed mattress Sans called his "bed", he picked him up by the back of his shirt, 

Sans hung his body low like a disciplined cat, ashamed of its wrongdoings.

"SANS, YOU WASTE OF OXYGEN! WAKE THE HELL UP!"

And like that, Sans began to open his eye sockets. With a sudden hit to the face, he began to speak as well.

"...'m up you asshole. open your fuckin' eyes, and you'll be able to see that."

Sans brought his attention to his brother's face, which was scrunched up in both anger and disgust.

"typically i'd say you look ugly doing that, but then i'd give you the idea that you're usually good looking when you're not. you never look good, you ugly bastard."

And with that, another blow to the face came as well.

"is that all you know how to do? hurt people? heh, i guess it is with all that damn LV. you're very selfish, never let me get any," he scoffed. 

" you're just too damn stupid to do anything else, aren't ya? dumbass. this is why i hate you."

Papyrus threw him to the ground and stomped through his room back into the hall.

"Get Ready. We're Going To The Library," Papyrus announced, his voice slightly wavering.

And with that, Sans stood up, using the help of his nearby dresser. With his back slumped, he dragged his feet over to one of the many piles of clothes on his floor. Digging through the mound of rubbish, he pulled out a familiar jacket, and by getting a whiff of the oder, he could tell that it at least smelled better than him. 

He tossed it on, and walked out of his bedroom door. He twisted the top half of his body to face the bathroom. He was going to brush his teeth.. but it was going to be too tiring anyway. One day wouldn't do much harm.

He brought himself to the steps, sliding his feet down them. His eyes drifted focus to the kitchen, where he could hear sounds of cabinets opening. As he finished stepping down the stairs, he made his way into the kitchen.

Papyrus was cooking again. He always had to cook, or else the lazy bastard would probably skip breakfast and lunch and finish the day with a half-eaten burger at Grillby's. He watched as Sans plopped into the chair. The way he sat was practically demanding food.

But to his surprise, Sans had sent his bowl back to the middle of the table only seven bites in.

"Is Something Wrong With The Food? It's Only Cereal."

" not hungry," Sans responded quickly. It was pretty unusual for Sans to be like this, but he shrugged it off as nothing. Sans was quick to rise from the table, leaving to finish getting ready. Papyrus was left alone, eating breakfast.

Sans slipped his shoes on, not bothering to tie them. He slowly climbed the stairs again, and went back into his mess of a room. He reached for his library books, and dusted them off. He pulled the library card from one of the pages, and shoved it into his pocket.

Walking out of the room, he heard Papyrus call.

"SANS! WE ARE LEAVING! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

"coming boss."

He tucked his clothes over his injuries, just like Papyrus taught him when he was younger. He dashed downstairs, books in hand, and library card in pocket.

The pair walked out the door, and the crunching of snow echoed through Snowdin. The area was silenced, showing respect to Papyrus as the Captain of the Guard. Sans however, only got a few threatening stares.

The endless silence was sickening, ringing through everyone's ears. The glares gave Sans a headache. They all must've found this hysterical. 

The Great and Terrible Papyrus, walking next to the runt and disgrace to the monster race. Or rather, Sans.

He sighed in relief as they stepped into the library.

"Hand Me Your Books, And Find Something You Like."

"i don't read no more," Sans blurted while handing Papyrus his books.

"What? Nonsense. Go Get Yourself Something To Read."

Sans rolled his eyes and walked through the aisles. 

He skimmed his surroundings, looking for something that was even slightly interesting. Soon enough, he found one with an absolutely draw dropping title.

'Quantum Physics Jokes'

" oh, hell yeah!"

Unfortunately for him, it was on one of the top shelves. Despite it, he decided to give it a try. He stood on his toes, and stretched his arms upwards. He could feel his fingertips slightly grazing across the cover of the book he wanted.

He started to tremble, and his hand neared the book. His grip on it tightened, but just when he was about to pull it out of its slot, he fell back, and landed on his head. He felt his eye sockets water. He didn't have much of a pain tolerance.

He took a deep breath and rubbed his face. He patted the back of his skull, searching for a bruise. Of course, he found one, and when he did, he tossed his hood over his head.

Sighing, he sat up and looked at the books on the lower shelves. Scanning through the books, he grabbed two and decided that they were decent-looking. He stood up, walked to the counter Papyrus was sitting at, and gave the books to him.

"No Sciency Stuff This Time?"

With that comment, he mumbled out the words about the situation. It was small and inaudible.

"What Was That?"

"..'m too short," he finally admitted. Papyrus raised a brow bone and spoke.

"Really? Why Didn't You Ask For Help?" he questioned, placing a hand on Sans' head.

He sighed and moved his thumb on his brother's skull.

"Come Show Me Where It Is," he said, speaking softly. He grabbed Sans' hand, and gave him a small push to start walking.

Sans dragged him to a certain aisle, and pointed to a book on a high up shelf.

"that one."

Papyrus internally cringed, but did his best not to upset Sans. He pulled it from the shelf, then bent down to Sans' level, handing him the book. 

"Here."

"thank you."

They both walked back to the counter. They checked out the books, then took the silent walk back home. 

When they arrived at the house again, it was only 9:00 am. 

Sans walked to his room again, and read one of his books until he dozed off into a nap.

Chapter Text

He pushed the door open with a slight force, and turned on the lights. It was 8:00pm, or rather when he and Sans ate dinner. 

The squash of trash under his latex boots was never a new thing, but as he looked around the room, he saw at least a couple ants roaming around. His brow bone furrowed as he saw this. The pathetic sack of bones had never let his room get so terrible.

Sans was usually a neat freak, so to see him sleep in a room that was so carelessly taken care of, was completely out of character.

Papyrus tapped Sans' unconscious body with the tip of his boot, the roughness waking him up slightly.

"Hey Pathetic Shit. You Slept All Day. Dinner's Ready."

Sans just made a loud groan, not moving an inch. He shifted over in bed, facing Papyrus.

"i don't want to."

"What Do You Mean? Wake Up And Come Downstairs."

"i'm not hungry."

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID THIS MORNING!" he snapped, kicking Sans in the back of the skull.

"COME EAT YOU PATHETIC WHELP!"

Suddenly, a kick to the chest came in contact with Sans, rolling him across his bed, and slamming him into the wall.

"agh! dude! what the fuck!?"

"I SPENT ALL MY DAMN TIME COOKING FOR YOU, KNOW COME EAT, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Lazily, Sans stood up, grabbing furniture around him for help. He pushed Papyrus out of the way, hunching over and walking downstairs afterwards.

Papyrus followed behind, stomping down the stairs. He sat at the table, counting the bites of food Sans took before yet again.

One.

"See? It's Not That Bad. Now Tell Me, Why Would You Sleep All Day?"

Two.

"i'm tired," he whispered, a yawn coming afterwards. He anxiously rubbed the back of his skull, a bit more than what was typical.

"I Got You That Book. Why Couldn't You Read It To Stay Awake?"

"i fell asleep reading it."

"So I Assume That's Why I Saw It In The Heap Of Trash. You Need To Clean Your Room, Idiot."

Three

Four

"Did You Hear M-"

"yes."

"Don't Interrupt Me When I'm Talking."

Five

Sans spoke with his mouth full, having no manners, and like the slob he was, wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"why not? i already know what you're gonna say."

"Have Some Manners, Sans."

"fuck you."

He continued to eat, staring down at his food as he was doing so.

"Do NOT Speak To Me Like That."

He spoke with rage filling his voice and a fist slamming the table once. The plates knocked slightly to the side from the vibrations of the table. Sans scrunched up his face and turned the corners of his mouth down. 

He looked up at Papyrus, his eyes half-closed. He spoke in a snarky tone, a way that challenged Papyrus' behavior.

"i show no respect to those who can do nothing but harm, boss. maybe show some decency first?"

"SANS! I Do 'Show Decency!' In Fact, I Show Greatness! Respect Me!"

"respect me first, jerk."

He growled, and furrowed his brow bones, furious at his brother's remark.

"I DO RESPECT YOU!"

Sans tilted his head up and to the side, keeping his eye on Papyrus. He partially shut his eyes, looking skeptical. 

"you don't beat up the people you respect."

 Papyrus clenched his fists, his fingertips digging into his latex gloves. He stood up, slamming his hands onto the table.

"THAT'S NOT MY FAULT, YOU IMBECILE!"

Papyrus stamped his foot onto the ground, sending a vibration throughout the house. 

"WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERST-"

"it is your fault! you're the selfish bastard who is constantly LV hungry! everything that's wrong with you is your own damn fault!" 

Sans stood up with a fierce look in his eyes; like a strong animal that would not back down against his target.

" you're the reason we fight, you're the reason that you have anger issues, and you're the reason i HATE you!"

"SO IS EVERYTHING MY FAULT THEN!? LET ME GUESS, IT'S MY FAULT THAT YOU'RE WEAK AND PATHETIC! IT'S MY FAULT THAT YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE! IT'S MY FAULT THAT YOU'RE SUCH A WHORE-ISH SLUT THAT-"

A plate smashed right next to Papyrus' face.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! DON- DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"WHY NOT, CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!?"

"IT'S NOT THE TRUTH!"

"IT IS THE TRUTH!"

He grit his teeth and held his hands in a fist. He would go in for the swing, but usually that ended up getting himself hurt. So instead, he ran upstairs as water came to his eye sockets and started to pour out of his face. Then, he heard Papyrus.

"PUSSY!" 

All he did to respond was scream into his pillow.

Chapter Text

He woke up with a slight ring in his ears, but quickly noticed that it was because of Papyrus. Again. Like always.

Papyrus had bashed Sans' skull into the nearest wall he could find, until he woke up again.

"mmfg.. stop.."

His voice was high-pitched, and a bit wobbly. When he opened his eyes, they had a slight haze over them. Not like he wasn't used to it or anything.

"HEY SOY BOY! YOU'RE AWAKE! TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!" 

"don't call me that," Sans stated, "ya fuckin' bitchface."

"Psht, Whatever. Just Get Up, We Have Work," Papyrus scoffed back.

Of course he had work. The thing that dragged days on, and tiring him out, more than he already was. 

Papyrus stepped out of his room, which was in desperate need of cleaning, and said one more thing.

"Lazy-ass."

Sans huffed, then fixed his jacket onto his shoulders. Walking out of the bedroom, he sighed and rubbed his temple. He couldn't down today's food, he just couldn't. He decided to call out to the kitchen before he pissed off Papyrus by wasting his time.

"heya.. don't make me any, not hungry."

Papyrus reached his head out, and looked up at Sans, who was now walking down the steps. He scoffed, like usual, then spoke.

"Sans, You've Said That Every Day For The Past Three Weeks."

Sans gave him a side eye. He grunted a small "i don't care," then walked outside, slamming the door. Papyrus sighed with a bit of sadness hiding behind it, and started to eat. Alone.

Meanwhile, Sans was at his station, chugging on his spare mustard bottles to pass the time. According to him, drinking mustard was a lot easier than actually eating. It got the job done, and that's all he cared about.

Besides, since when did he care about his health? When has anyone ever cared? 

With a sigh, he looked away, feeling like an idiot. Not only was he a pathetic crybaby, but he was also unloved. What a damn life. 

He never felt like life was worth living, but the past few weeks had just been awful. Papyrus was always like this; ruthless and evil. It just so happened that, ever since the riot five weeks ago, Papyrus had been a lot more harsh. 

He knew it wasn't Papyrus' fault, but at the same time, all he felt was rage towards him, just hating everything his big bro did.

Maybe it was the pent up anger that he was never allowed to let out as a kid. Maybe it was more. All that he knew was that Papyrus made him see red, and made his blood boil. Papyrus was only four years older yet, he STILL made Sans call him 'boss.' Papyrus would beat him anytime he made the slightest mistake, or did anything wrong. And those things? That's what pissed him off.

Sure, sometimes he would set off Papyrus for his own entertainment, but it couldn't be that bad.

All these thoughts filled his pondering mind, He couldn't help but feel like a mess of a monster, like a disgrace.

He always had terrible mood swings, but they weren't ever as bad as they were now. It felt like he went from sadness to rage to guilt all within a span of five minutes. He felt awful, like he wanted to just end this all. Maybe in more ways than one.

…

It had been quite a while since he felt this depressed. Since he felt suicidal.. hadn't it? God, if only he hadn't been sucked into this constant loop of mental issues, then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have to think this way.

Maybe if Papyrus hadn't-

But he had only himself to blame. None of this would've happened if he just listened ! If he had toughened up, Papyrus wouldn't feel the need to protect him. He wouldn't feel the need to join the Royal Guard. If Sans had just listened, Papyrus wouldn't have gained LV.

The abuse was his fault. He deserved this, afterall. He was the problem here.

Maybe tonight would be the night that he finally ki-

"damn it"

He was fucking crying, like a wuss. Like the pathetic crybaby he always was. 

He wiped his tears, and gasped for air. He brought himself back to reality, trying his best not to zone out again. He decided to just put more focus into his work, as that would definitely and easily distract him.

Maybe he could make boss happy for once as well.

After he had finished his meal, he walked out the door, and kept his head low. The silence of the town bashed through his skull, and invaded his thoughts. It was obvious that his people were scared of him now; something he never wanted.

It was Completely unavoidable though, that stupid robot had broadcasted the fights throughout all of the underground. 

It brought back his memories from the riot. 

The weeks of threats to the King's castle, and the hours spent preparing defenses. The crowd came early, when the Royal Guard was barely prepared, and when there was a meeting with the Snowdin sentries. 

Watching familiar faces bash their way through the doors. 

Being put on the front lines, being forced to kill hundreds, all while watching  his little brother get trampled. Feeling guilty for protecting the king instead of him. 

Feeling bad, despite knowing, if he stopped for a second, the king would kill them both.

Knowing that his younger brother would never recover from it.

It brought back all those horrible memories that he had to just.. brush off.

He took a deep breath, and kept walking, quickly arriving at his station. Despite his efforts to get rid of those horrible thoughts.. They kept coming.

Now, Papyrus was in second place for having the most LV. The king being in first, of course. And now, he had no way of protecting Sans from getting hurt, simply because he was now the reason for him potentially getting hurt.

What felt even worse was that he was starting to not even feel bad. Instead, he felt.. good. That's how he knew that his career as a good brother was over. That's how he knew, he was more than fucked up.

Chapter Text

"So.. If yer not here to rub in the fact that ya won, waddya want, punk!?" Undyne demanded, stomping her foot into the ground.

"Undyne, Please, Just Hear Me Out! Not Every Time I Come Near You, Am I Trying To Harass You!" Papyrus begged, trying to get through Undyne's thick skull.

He sighed, and took down to his hands, twiddling his phalanges.

"Well, what is it then, fuckface?"

She started to tap her foot as she crossed her arms.

"I Just Want To Talk," Papyrus responded, ignoring her rude comment.

She tilted her head in confusion. Papyrus never wanted to 'just talk,' it was always something else, or a favor he wanted. Besides, she would never see him as a mutual ever again. Not after what he did.

Seeing his face after months of ghosting him, it was horrible. It brought back a sour taste to her tounge; the same one she got when Papyrus lowered her status from a Royal Guard just to a sentry, despite him knowing it wasn't enough to pay off her mortgage.

Thankfully, after hours of begging the lender, she was able to convince them to give her more time. Her girlfriend, Alphys, temporarily hired her as an assistant at the lab, which gave her just enough money to keep her house.

She was so thankful for Alphys. She had done everything for her in hard times. But Papyrus? He was nothing but an evil bastard. She couldn't believe that she used to be friends with him. Now, she barely even tolerated him.

"Fine. Start talking," She spat, "but make it quick."

Papyrus took a deep breath, and looked at her sternly. He narrowed his eyes, giving a false look of confidence.

"I'm Putting You Back On The Team," Papyrus asserted, "And I'm Sorry."

Undyne's eyes widened, her jaw dropped. She suddenly clenched her mouth shut, and pointed a finger at him while taking a step forward.

"You're not sorry. I know you, you're never sorry!"

Papyrus stepped back, putting his hands up. His usual angry frown turned to a broad line. He quickly put his hands down, and hunched his back over, showing that he was being genuine. He looked up to her, and spoke.

"Undyne, Please!"

She brought her hand down and stepped back. She scrunched her face up, and decided to end the conversation with one last thing.

"If you're gonna be sorry, show it. Don't just fuckin' tell me," she hissed, started to walk back inside her house.

The door slammed with a thud, making the skeleton jump. He let out a small whine, then pranced his way back to Snowdin.

Undyne picked up the phone, and started to dial Alphys. A warm smile spread across her face at the thought of her face. Her smile turned warmer once she heard Alphys' voice at just two rings. A slight redness came to her cheeks whenever they talked.

"Heyy U-undyne! What's- What's up?" Alphys' soft voice spoke.

Undyne's smile started to fade at the thought of what she was about to say. She huffed, then began to speak.

"Hey nerd. I got some news, punk," she declared sweetly.

Alphys responded with a quick and curious hum, giving permission for Undyne to continue.

"I'm back on the team. The prick came over today."

"Oh.." Alphys responded, sounding a bit upset, but happy for her.  

"Did he say w- did he say why?" She stammered out.

Undyne took a moment to reflect. Papyrus didn't really get to finish his words, she just slammed the door right in his face. But, that wasn't her fault. She couldn't be around an asshole like Papyrus.

"I.. uh, no. But, that's besides the point! I don't have to work with you anymore, babe!"

Undyne's happy demeanor faded, and she decided to console Alphys.

"Not that I don't want to, of course. I love working with you."

Alphys smiled, and started to blush a bit.

"A-aw, you don't have to s-say that just for me.."

Undyne quickly got defensive.

"I'm being serious!"

The two laughed together for a while, but it soon ended with a sigh.

"U-undyne?"

"Yeah, nerd?"

"W-what about me? Y-you'll be so busy- I.. I'm scared that you won't be able to visit me."

Undyne frowned, and tried to come up with an idea. Soon enough, she spoke again.

"I'll make time."

"P-promise?"

"Promise."

Her smile came back to her face. They continued to talk for a while before making kissy sounds, then hanging up.

Papyrus was walking back to his station, thinking about what had just happened. Sure, he could possibly be the worst monster in the underground, but it's not like he was that bad. He was most definitely sorry. Besides, he was just.. not himself those months ago. In fact, he wasn't sure he was himself since he killed his first monster.

It was.. horrifying, to say the least. The worst part about it was that he didn't even want to kill them

It all happened so fast, or at least, that's how it felt. He was just a twelve year old who was trying to protect his eight year old brother from some stupid, druken adults. 

He remembered how he saw his brother playing in a local park, when suddenly, Sans came running up to him, with a large, new crack had shot down his socket. Tears were running down his face, and all he could think was, "Why do this to a little child?"

Suddenly, his thoughts were cut off by a sudden noise. He looked forward, and realized that it was Sans.

"hey boss," he beamed, looking a bit more tired than usual. "ya ready to go home? work's been over fer a good ten minutes.. so uh.. came over here to check on you. since you weren't moving 'n all."

Had it really been eight hours already? It sure didn't feel like it, but that was probably because of all the thinking he was doing.

"I'm Ready, Yes," He scoffed.

He stood up, and started to walk home, shoving Sans to the side.

Sans gave a light smile anyway, looking a bit nicer than usual, almost like he was trying to be different. He spoke in a gentle tone, though he stammered a lot more than typical. Papyrus also noticed that his voice was quiet high pitched. He thought none of it, though.

"i uh.. i made sure to work a bit harder today.."

"Is That So?"

He turned around, asking the younger. He sighed as he spoke again.

"I Really Don't Care."

The rest of the walk home was silent, an undertone of sadness following them both. Even as they got home, they ignored each other, going into their seperate rooms.

Chapter Text

Alone in his room, he would let the blade glide over his radius and ulna. He pressed the knife onto his ulna, slightly slicing it with a hiss. A tear fell down his face as he gasped, and felt his eyes go wide.

He made a small incision over the other. He looked at them as tears fell from his eyes. This would definitely leave a scar. But that didn't matter at the moment, what mattered was that it actually felt good.

It felt like with each cut to the bone, another thought went away. Then, he wouldn't think of anything for a moment- just a moment. But.. even if it was just a few measly seconds of peace.. It felt so good .

Besides, this is just what he deserved, right? He had to do this. This was what he needed, to show himself how much of a worthless sh-

But with another cut, the thought went away.

He sat there in silence, three gashes in his arm. Blood flowing down onto his bed sheets.

His eyes went wide as the realization came to him, the realization that he was cutting himself. His breathing got faster, and he started to cry; he didn't want to do this. He never did. 

With a short breath, he took a gulp and closed his eyes. Despite his hatred for doing this to himself, something inside of him.. It was telling him to do it again.

Just to feel that sweet release. His hand shook as he hesitated to go in again. He took a good pause, then moved the blade back up his arm, slicing it again. His mind went blank as stings shot up his arm.

He took a sharp breath through clenched teeth, and held it low in his body. And as he held it, a thought crept up into his mind. A thought to slice something else of his. 

He gouged another slit into his arm, hoping the thought would go away, but it didn't. He desperately scraped his arm, over and over, cringing harder every time the thought didn't go away. 

It sat still in his mind, and it told him to slice something. It told him to slice his neck. The thought begged and begged, just pleading to let him die. But instead, he sat still as rivers fell from his face. He stared at his arm, and how blood oozed out of it.

He sighed, and placed the blade down. He started to shakily breathe, just to bring himself back to reality. He brought a hand to his mouth as he looked down at his mess. The regret and guilt he had.. completely disappeared.

He sat still for a while, pondering what to do. He stood up, noting how shaky he was. He plodded into the bathroom and rummaged through the pile of medical supplies, which to his surprise, were still on the floor from two days ago.

After finding a couple bandages, he placed them onto the nearest counter, and started to climb up the stool. He turned on the tap and placed the fresh wound under it. He watched as blood bubbled in with the water, and slipped down the drain.

Once he decided that the slits were clean enough, he unraveled the bandages, and firmly wrapped them around his arm. He made a tight tie, even double knotting it to make it stay on.

He tucked his sleeve back over his arm and began to walk downstairs with his hunger becoming insatiable.

Papyrus was sitting on the couch, in a bit more of an upset tone than usual. He looked at the blank TV, obviously lost in thought.

"hey, dumbass jerk," he said, looking over at Papyrus, and giving a faint smile.

He sat next to Papyrus, and lifted his legs onto the table in front of him. He leaned backwards onto the couch, and kept talking to Papyrus.

"i'm hungry. get me some grub."

Papyrus rolled his eyes and looked at him with an exaggerated sigh. He looked down upon Sans, his sockets looking disappointed.

"Do I Really Have To Do Everything For You?"

Sans looked up at him with slight confusion. Papyrus knew he couldn't cook, so why would he even mention it? 

"Get Your Own Damn Food, You Lazy Bastard."

Sans looked down in defeat. He had upset Papyrus again, somehow.

"i don't know how to cook."

Papyrus looked at him with rage-filled eyes. The constant nagging and asking.. all of it had pent up, and now.. he was pissed.

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP!? LEARN TO COOK THEN, YOU BRAIN-DEAD RODENT!"

Sans put a hand up and scooted his body away. It was clear that he was deeply upset by the neglectful behavior Papyrus was putting up. Sans started to think of potential solutions to Papyrus' anger.

"maybe i could.. help you cook?" An aura of desperation appeared in his voice. He just wanted Papyrus to calm down, and help him for once. He had a tense feeling he knew what was about to happen, though.

As Papyrus stood up, He flinched, only for his face to surprisingly be met with nothing. Instead, Papyrus had just.. walked to the kitchen and nodded as he accepted the offer.

Sans gave another soft smile as he followed close behind.

"Get Over Here," He said, making hand gestures for Sans to come near the stove, "I'm Going To Teach You."

Sans walked over to the stove, and Papyrus grabbed a stool from a nearby cabinet. He placed it in front of Sans, allowing him to reach the stove and countertops easily.

Papyrus started grabbing various ingredients around the kitchen, as well as a cookbook. It was laid neatly on the counter, resting above the ingredients that were now laid out. as well.

As he curiously looked around, he saw that there was a box of some sorts, onions, salt, oregano, garlic, parmesan cheese, and more.

He glanced back up at the cookbook, and read it.

Page 75: Spaghetti

Chapter Text

Papyrus placed a knife and a cutting board on the counter in front of him. He looked a bit nervous when seeing the knife, but took a deep breath to shake it off.

"You Know How To Cut Things, Right?" Papyrus asked, placing a few onions on the cutting board.

Sans looked down at the knife, and loosely picked it up.

"yeah."

He placed the knife over an onion, carefully moving the others out of the way as he applied pressure. It rolled out of place, and Papyrus sighed, giving a facepalm. He went behind Sans, and grabbed his arms. 

Papyrus adjusted his left hand so that it was in a claw-like shape, and his right hand in a position that caused the blade to align with his knuckles.

"Look, This Is How You Hold It. Now You Just Carefully, And I Mean Carefully Slide The Blade Against Your Knuckles Until You Cut It."

Sans' face scrunched up as he focused. He slowly leaned the knife at an angle, and sliced through the onion. He smiled at his success, feeling proud of himself. Papyrus moved Sans' left hand backwards, and lifted his right hand back into place.

"Now Do It Again."

He did as told, doing exactly the same as before. Papyrus let go of his arms, and stepped back.

"Good. Now Put Your Hands Back Into Place, And Keep Doing That Until You're Done Cutting It."

He moved his hand upwards, and his other hand backwards, chopping more and more off as the time went by. Around three minutes later, the onion was finished, and he put the knife down. Papyrus took out a small dish, and poured the chopped onion onto it. He Placed the board back in front of Sans.

"Now, I'm Going To Teach You How To Mince Things," Papyrus stated, stepping back behind Sans. He grabbed Sans' hands, as he placed already peeled garlic on the cutting board. 

"Now, You Want To Make Sure The Slices Are Very Thin."

He took control of his arms, and started chopping the garlic, occasionally flipping it to a new side. Once it was cut, he placed Sans' left hand on top of the knife, on the flat side of the blade.

"Now Chop It Like Normal."

He let go, yet again, and watched as Sans started to chop through the pile of garlic. It started to spread out, and when it did, Papyrus grabbed the knife, and piled it back into place. Once the garlic was fully minced, Papyrus took out yet another dish, and scraped the garlic onto it.

"Now That That's Done."

He grabbed Sans from under his arms, and lifted him slightly. Sans let out a confused sigh, as Papyrus kicked the stool closer to the stove. He put Sans back down on the stool, and grabbed a bottle of olive oil, a pan, and some measuring cups. He put the pan on the stove, and the bottle as well as the measuring cups in Sans' hand.

"Just Three Tablespoons."

Sans searched through the different measuring cups, looking for the correct measurement. He picked up a certain cup, and flipped open the lid to the bottle. He counted each tablespoon carefully, dumping them in the pan as he went. When he was done, he looked over to Papyrus, waiting for more directions.

He was sitting down at the table, watching Sans cook carefully.

"Look At The Cookbook. You Can Read."

He glanced over at the cookbook. He couldn't help but notice that the sliced onions and minced garlic were laying in front of it. There was also pre-made tomato sauce. He went to ask where it came from, but his question was quickly answered before he could ask.

"I Made The Sauce. You're Too Weak To Smash Shit."

Sans gave him a death glare, then quickly went back to reading the book while grumbling. He looked for any indicators for 'step one,' and when he found it, he read it out loud in a whisper.

"uhh..'step one: ..add three tablespoons of olive oil and turn the stove to medium heat' ..okay"

He looked at the front of the oven, and leaned back so he could comfortably reach the knob. He turned it about halfway, and looked back at the book.

"done. 'step two: pour the onions in, and sir occasionally for about five minutes or until softened.' sounds easy enough."

He poured the chopped onions in, and grabbed a nearby spoon. He stirred it slightly around every twenty seconds. The food softened pretty quickly, and moved to step three.

 "'step three: slowly pour in the garlic, oregano, and tomato sauce. let simmer for a minute'"

He grabbed the ingredients listed, and with the spoon, plopped them into the pan. He quickly stirred it, just to even it out, and watched it as he counted to sixty. A minute later, he finished, and read step four.

"'s-step four:.. add three fourths a tablespoon of salt and pepper.'"

He reached across the stove, trying to grab the salt and pepper on the shelves above it. He paid no mind to the fire below, carelessy stretching for his needed ingrediants. Papyrus immediately noticed this, and stood up. He rushed over to Sans and pulled him back down.

"SANS! DON'T EVER LEAN OVER AN OPEN FLAME! YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF YOU DUMBASS!"

He sighed, and gave him an aggressive pat on the head. He carefully moved over to the side, and grabbed the salt and pepper. He handed them to Sans, who looked a bit ashamed.

"If You Need Help, Just Ask."

He sat back down as Sans started measuring out what he needed.

"And Never Do That Again."

Sans sighed, trying to rid himself of his embarrassment. He still felt ashamed though, but he felt mad as well now. Mad that he acted so stupid, and mad that he upset Papyrus again. He poured in the salt and pepper, then moved onto the next step.

"um.. 'step five: uh.. turn the stove to low, and boil the noodles in a large pot for eight minutes..' ..what?"

He reread the directions, feeling confused. However, even as he read it again, he was still confused.

"i need to boil the noodles.. but how??"

He looked closely at the book, when he noticed a section called 'How to Boil.'

He decided to read that small passage.

"'fill the pot with two cups of water, and add half a tablespoon of salt for every five ounces.'... ohhh.."

With that, he turned the pan's heat down, and grabbed a pot from underneath the sink. He filled it with water to the exact measurements, and added the salt as needed. He softly dumped the box of noodles into the pot, and set a timer for eight minutes on his phone.

He sat down on the stool, and played a couple games on his phone while watching and waiting for the noodles to finish. As soon as the timer went off, he shot up, and read the final step.

"'step six: turn off both the sauce and noodles. drain the water, and combine the sauce. top with parmesan cheese.'"

He turned off the stove completely, and carefully drained the water into the sink. He placed the sauce and noodles together on two plates, and sprinkled it with the cheese. He waited for the plates to cool a bit, then walked to the table. He put one plate in front of Papyrus, and took the other with him as he sat down across the table.

Papyrus was slightly surprised by this, and confused on why Sans gave him some.

"Why Are You Giving Me This?"

Sans looked up at Papyrus, his face already covered as he had already dug into his meal.

"you're the chef here. i'd assume that you'd be better at telling if my food tastes like ass or not."

Papyrus looked at him for a second, then took a small bite.

"To Be Honest, I Feel As If The Only Good Thing About This Is The Things That I Did."

Sans rolled his eyes as he continued eating.

"i assumed that you'd say that."

Chapter Text

A splitting headache shot through his head, and sounds of ringing went through his ears. It wasn't the perfect way to wake up, but it was his way. It wasn't like he wanted this or anything, but ever since that dreaded day.. he had been this way.

He remembered it very clearly. In fact, it was a very prominent memory in his mind. He had been simply peacefully playing in the local playground, when suddenly, a burst of laughter had boomed from behind him.

He turned around, just for his sockets to be met with some unfamiliar faces. They were very, no, extremely tall, or at least from his end. Despite his way shorter than average, 3 foot 9 height, he could definitely tell that these monsters were easily around 6 feet.

When he looked up, he saw that they had a bit of a red tint to their face. Their stance was a bit wobbly as well. When they spoke, their words were slurred.

"You only have one HP!?" one cried, leaving him shell-shocked.

Nobody had known about his HP, nobody except for him and Papyrus. Unless of course, they had run a check over him without permission. But nobody checks somebody without permission. Except for these two drunken adults, he guessed.

HP was a private matter, it showed if someone had advantage over another. When it came to fighting, HP was only revealed after the encounter began. This led to having more advanced ways of fighting, relying on your skills rather than your power.

But now? His HP had been revealed, letting everyone around him, and eventually, everyone in the underground know just how weak he was.

It didn't take long before they decided to turn him into easy EXP. They grabbed their weapons, slicing a cut through his eye socket. Without a second of doubt, he ran towards Papyrus for protection.

There was just one thing Papyrus didn't know about that day, despite it being twelve years later. He had fully healed, and the crack in his skull turned into a barely visible scar. The only thing that hadn't healed.. was his HP. After the attack, his HP, no matter how hard he tried, could never reach one. It had been stuck at a solid 0.8 ever since.

It didn't seem like much at first, but it only took a stub to his toe to realize how bad having an HP of 0.2 actually hurt. And it wasn't just getting a toe stubbed that would take half a point. There were many things that knocked you down half a point. 

Actually being at 0.5 was perfectly fine, it hurt a lot, but never too much. It basically just made you tired. But 0.2? That was a different story. It was basically when your body would hit the panic button, and send pain throughout your entire body.

It was why he always had such low pain tolerance. It was why he was here now, lying in bed, barely able to hear from all the ringing. Every. Single. Morning.

But a sudden thud to his door always helped. It helped his mind focus on trying to get rid of the ringing. It helped get rid of the silence that burned through his ears. A bash to the wall never hurt either. It snapped him out of wallowing in sadness.

It was always too late when he finally realized what the bashing was, though. It was always the same thing. He was getting woken up by Papyrus in the worst way possible, the most painful way possible. In some way or another, his skull would be bashed into a wall.

All because he decided to be lazy. Again. And he upset Papyrus. Again. And he still stayed asleep anyway. Again. Because he was acting like a disappointment. Again.

It didn't matter though, not to him at least. He was still thankful, thankful how Papyrus always dealt with him, no matter how stubborn he was. He could feel his mental health deteriorating each second he felt with Papyrus, but he was still just so thankful.

The second bash to the wall is what got  him to open his eyes, the third is what got him to speak. The fourth just got him pissed.

"uughh.. i'm up! can't ya see that!?" He shouted.

"ABOUT TIME! I HAVE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR THIRTY MINUTES! NOW GET UP BEFORE WE'RE LATE!" Papyrus screeched back, dropping Sans onto the firm mattress.

The words Papyrus said always hit him like a bullet. Seeing the one person he looked up to being constantly mad set off bombs in his soul, and tore it to shreds.

He would watch as Papyrus marched out of his room, and slowly pick his body up from his bed. The ringing was still trying to fade, but today, it seemed to be struggling to do just that. Putting it aside, he pulled himself out of bed. He internally complained, as he had zero motivation to be working today.

Still feeling full from yesterday, he ignored the cooking in the kitchen. Surely Papyrus would catch onto his lack of appetite by now, since he had only really been eating every other day. He probably wouldn't bother cooking for him for the rest of his life now anyway, since he knew how to cook, and Papyrus gave him that darn cookbook.

He climbed down the stairs, but was interrupted by Papyrus.

"Put Your Coat On. It's Going To Snow A Lot Today," he warned.

Great, just great. Not only did he have to go through the trouble of dragging on another one of 'those days,' but he also had to trudge through a mound of snow by the end of the day. The worst part? He would probably need to conserve magic just to keep himself warm. Meaning, he definitely wouldn't be able to teleport home.

He tossed on an extra coat, tucking his head into the hood when he finished zipping the coat. He walked out the door, leaving Papyrus eating alone. Again.

But it didn't matter. He always does this.

Chapter Text

Only hours later, when he was pushing through the snow, would he realize just how bad the weather was. When Papyrus said it would be a lot, he never thought it would be this bad. But now, it was far too late to prepare. And he was shuffling around, as if he was swimming. The snow had reached his hips, being at two feet high.

The cold was freezing his legs, making him regret his decision of constantly wearing shorts. He could already imagine how angry Papyrus would be when he got home. There was no way he would be able to get home in the normal twenty minutes. And sure, he could teleport, but that of course, would use energy. 

He watched as monsters of all kinds walk home with zero problem. It made him wonder how life could be. How he could've been strong. He could've been tall. But no. He was none of those things. He was disgraced with being the weakest, shortest monster in the underground.

Part of him wished he was still younger. Then, it wouldn't be weird for Papyrus to pick him up and carry him on his back. That way, he would get out of his stupid job. That way, Papyrus wouldn't hate him.

Sadly, he was older now. He had to do things on his own now, despite not having the proper childhood to prepare him. The more he thought, the more he realized that he was barely able to do anything. He didn't know how to iron clothes, or how to do laundry. He didn't know how to wash the dishes, or sew. He couldn't cook properly, or even use a vacuum. Hell, he couldn't fold clothes!

Well, it wasn't that bad. He was still alive, so he was obviously doing something right.

As he made his way up the stairs, he pushed the door open. His eyes met with his brother's.

"WHY DID YOU TAKE SO LONG!?"

Sans stumbled back onto the front porch as he took a blow to the chest. He walked back inside, keeping his calm attitude. He was way too tired to deal with Papyrus right now, so he just put it simply.

"listen, boss. i couldn't get through the snow."

He let out a small whine in pain when Papyrus smacked his face. He felt a bit of rage start to build inside of him. Today,  he was really not in the mood for any bullshit.

"boss, stop. i'm not gonna fight with you today," he explained with a sigh, "just let me go. i already explained why i was late."

"NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME! IF YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO BE LATE, YOU COULD'VE TELEPORTED!"

Papyrus grabbed Sans by the collar of his shirt, and pulled him close. He looked him in the eye with a evil expression as he screamed in Sans' face.

"I PUT IN ALL THE TROUBLE OF RAISING YOU, YET YOU ARE SO DAMN DISRESPECTFUL!"

Sans swung his legs at Papyrus, but it only made him angrier. He took another blow to the face, this time, a punch to the socket. Sans knew exactly what was coming, and he wanted to avoid it.

"boss," he begged, "put me down."

Instead, he was slammed into a wall. He closed his eyes as his body bashed against it. He grit his teeth, and held his head to the side. Angry tears filled his eyes as he began to shout.

"BOSS! STOP! WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS!?"

Papyrus shoved Sans onto the couch.

"To Prove A Point."

Sans sat there with a confused look on his face. He wiped his tears, and continued to stare at Papyrus.

"You Know Sans, You're A Disappointment. I Wasted My Time With You."

It was strange, seeing Papyrus' mood change so fast. Usually the physical fighting would go on for at least ten minutes, but this? It was barely three. It was a nice break, but Papyrus didn't seem done.

"I Don't Even See You As A Brother."

"what am i then?"

"A Mistake Is What You Are."

He sat silently with that thought for a while.

It was quite the experience, hearing his doubts be confirmed. He could feel his eyes water, but he shot his hand up, and covered his face. He swung his hood over his head, and looked to the ground.

"Are You.. Are You Crying?"

He kept his voice low, trying to avoid showing his wavering tone. He covered his head with boths hands, not really noticing how they shook.

"no."

Papyrus scoffed at his lie, and looked at him with more intensity. He could easily see how tears poured down his brother's face.

"Sans," He spoke in a stern manner, "You Really Are The Most Pathetic Monster In The Underground."

He bent down, grabbing his brother's face by the chin. Sans uncovered himself, revealing just how much he was crying.

He slammed Sans' face into the wall, knocking down at least a fourth of a health point. All that Sans did as a response was gasp. Sans continued to cry silently until interrupted by Papyrus' voice. 

"Hah. Fucking Pussy."

He shoved his fist into Sans' chest, a bit less aggressively than before. Sans kept crying, gasping for breaths in between. Sans wasn't even hiding it at this point, he had no other way to cope, it seemed.

Pulling his fist away, he noticed a couple new blood stains on Sans' jacket, all of them being around the left arm. Picking it up, he noticed how Sans cringed in pain when they were touched. His face grouped up into a face of slight concern, but he soon laughed it off, deciding that it was nothing serious.

He stood up straight, looking down upon Sans. He glared at him with disgust. Disgust for his crying, disgust for his weakness, and disgust for his brother.

"Go To Your Room, You Crybaby."

Sans stood up, his body shaking. He wiped his tears onto the sleeve of his jacket, not doing much, as he was still crying floods.

As he walked inside his room, he slammed the door shut, and started to focus on his breathing. He sat down, and fanned his eye sockets, sighing as he did so. With a quiet grumble, he turned to the edge of his bed.

He grabbed the knife from underneath, and pulled of his jacket. He unraveled the bandages. He tore them apart on accident while doing so, but it didn't matter. They needed a change anyway. 

He pressed the knife against his arm, quickly deciding that another round wouldn't hurt.

Chapter Text

Undyne rolled across the mattress as her phone beeped consistently. She had tried to avoid picking up a call from Papyrus, but it wasn't really working, and she knew that the longer she ignored him, the harsher the scolding would be.

She grumbled and stretched her arm onto her nightstand, but just as she put a firm grasp over it, the noise stopped. Without a thought in mind, she started to dial Papyrus' number.

Only two rings later, he picked up. With a gruff voice, he shot out words quicker than a flash.

"DAMN IT UNDYNE! WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP BEFORE!?"

The mood switched like a light. Before Undyne could even respond, Papyrus let out a long, dramatic sigh.

"I'm Sorry Undyne. It's My Fault For Calling You On Such A Short Notice."

"Yeah, don't ya think it's also because you're just a dickhead? Maybe you should learn to take a hint, Papyrus. I don't like you. I don't want to talk," Undyne responded with a stern tone.

A sudden silence sprung between the two. The subtle tapping of water drops falling to the ground outside of Undyne's house brought a bit of calmness in Undyne's mind. Over the phone, she heard a quick cough, then Papyrus' voice.

"Anyway, I Need You To Watch Over Both Your Station And Mine Today. I've.. I've Left A Few Extra Scarves And Coats For You If You Get Cold."

Her mouth parted a bit before she groaned into the phone.

"Why?"

His breath hitched, and he spoke with a gentle tone. It was clear that he was trying his best not to shout.

"I Fucked Up Again."

"As per usual," She snorted back.

She hung up, leaving Papyrus with just a beep, then shoved her phone back onto the nightstand. She tossed on a couple layers as well as her armor, then put her phone into one of the many pockets.

She left her house with a slam to the door, and galumphed her way through Waterfall and Snowdin.

Meanwhile, Sans had kept himself quiet and alone in his room, which allowed his thoughts to spur up a couple unpleasant memories.

Questions shot around his mind like marbles being jostled around in someone's cupped palms, the answers seemingly impossible to find. Despite it, he let his mind wander through the endless void that was his sorrow.

Softly spoken whispers filled the room, all of them being doubtful thoughts and repetitive words. Sparks of ideas came to be the center of focus when tears started to glisen within his eye sockets. He exhaled through his teeth and let go of the thought.

He brought his hand down from his face and onto his lap, where both his hands conjoined. After a moment of contemplation, he sighed and pushed himself up to stand.

It was a new day, there was no need to crumble over his pathetic cries of yesterday. 

A creek in the door caught his attention. He stumbled through his room, and brought his hand to the door handle. For just a moment, he paused. He saw how there was a subtle shake meeting his hand, and reaching across his frame as he hovered the hand over the handle.

His breath shuddered when he felt a shooting pain grow inside his chest. He jolted away from the door and gripped at his ribs. He looked up as soon as light started shining into his room. He snapped his head to the side and shut his sockets tight, not daring to look his brother's way.

He could practically hear the sounds now. The pop of his shoulders being dislocated. The cracks of his bones breaking. The clashes of fists hitting his face. The bangs of his body being smashed into walls. The whirs of magic being summoned as the attack patterns pinned him down.

But he got nothing. Absolutely nothing but dull silence and whips of wind flying through the air. The building up to his inescapable terror was killing his poor soul. As much as wanted to avoid all of the pain, he'd much rather get done with what he knew was coming.

There was no doubt in his mind that his brother would come upstairs at any moment he pleased and finish what he started. But Papyrus was having none of that. 

How could he be so stupid? Of course Papyrus wouldn't do that. He'd wait until Sans' anxiety was at its peak. He'd wait until Sans broke down into a sobbing mess, begging on his knees for Papyrus to 'get it done with.'

But even then, he'd walk away, forcing Sans to simmer within his bubble of anxiousness. And when he begged him to come back, he would only see the face of Papyrus with a frown and his brow bones furrowed up and in. The last thing he would always notice would always be the spark in his brother's eye.

Then the realization that he just had another breakdown in front of his brother would hit him. He would feel ashamed for days on end that he acted so disgustingly. He would refrain from eating, just as punishment to relieve his guilt.

Only then, weeks after the initial fight, Papyrus would finally get mad over something he did, again, and give him the pain he knew he deserved.

Sure, it sounded utterly ridiculous, but he was thinking this way from experience, and from the heart. Because the same exact situation always happens. He's just always too much of an idiot to remember the cycle.

But, there was just something about the silence around him that caught him off guard. He didn't feel the usual tension, or the loud, angry breaths of his older brother. He could only feel his body shaking intensely, and the noise of bones rattling.

His sockets lightly fluttered open and the lights looked to the figure in front of him. He couldn't make out the facial expression, but it didn't seem like an angry one. He looked down, trying his hardest to examine the body language. 

What he didn't notice before was that his hands had scraggly clamped onto the chain of his collar that he 'swore was for fashion and not unhealthy coping mechanisms.' He slowly let them slide down as he took a bit more of a relaxed stance to mask the fear in his eyes.

While adjusting his skull to look at Papyrus, he made a small cough to clear his throat. He went on to start speaking with him, but Papyrus jumped onto that path before he could.

"You're Already Up? Good. Get Ready. We're Going To Have A Picnic In Waterfall."

An outing was not expected, to say the least. He was expecting more of a screamfest of some sort. 

He shrugged it off, though. Whatever Papyrus says, goes. And he lives by that, not that he has a choice.

"yes boss."

With that, Papyrus strolled his way downstairs, and into the kitchen again. Sans glided his eyes to follow him, then stepped right behind him.

As he moseyed down the steps, he sloppily shoved his kicks onto his feet. Hearing a call from the kitchen, he made his way in there afterwards.

"I'll Be Preparing The Main Course. You Go Get The Blanket And Snacks."

"yes boss," he repeated with an affirming nod.

Chapter Text

Snatching the basket, he started to sprint out the door. His running came to a halt when he saw that the snow was just as bad as the day before. He stepped into each footprint carefully, still trying to catch up with Papyrus.

He knew exactly where they were going, the wishing room. He would be perfectly fine walking on his own, but if he was having an outing with Papyrus, he would spend every second that he could with him. It gave him another chance.

Maybe this way, he could prove himself, or better, make Papyrus proud.

Shoving his way through the snow, he began to shout.

"boss! wait up ya jerk!"

Something in him made him snort a bit, and put a smile on his face. Maybe it was the joy he got from being reminded of the times when the two were younger, and did this a lot more often.

He jumped through each step Papyrus made, feeling like a kid again. Even as they managed through Snowdin, his fun didn't stop. He started to bolt his way to Papyrus in order to catch up with him.

He made a sudden stop as he slammed his body right into Papyrus. He stumbled backwards, and fell onto his bottom. Papyrus stumbled forward a bit as well.

A wave of shock and fear washed over him as he rubbed his forehead. He felt so happy knowing that for once in his miserable life, he had managed to not upset someone, but it was ripped right from his body the moment his head made direct contact with his brother's spine. He had ruined it, hadn't he?

His teeth started to clatter once more, but they quickly stopped as he took a quick huff. His smile returned to his face when he realized that Papyrus' expression hadn't shifted in the slightest. It wasn't brimming like before, but still showed his happiness.

He stood once more, dusting off his pants. He started to walk cheerfully alongside Papyrus, looking up at him every now and then with a smile.

"hehehe.. uh sorry 'bout that boss."

Expectedly, Papyrus stayed silent. They kept moving along, struggling through both the water and mud. Sans found himself joyfully skipping and laughing, being careful not to bump into Papyrus again. Eventually, they reached their exact spot, and Papyrus laid the blanket down.

Sans quickly plopped down onto it with a long, relieved sigh. He pushed the basket right into the center and watched as Papyrus sat across from him.

Papyrus pulled the basket near, and pulled out a couple meals as well as plates. He globbed some food onto both of their plates, then handed Sans his food. Without waiting for Sans, he dug straight in. On the other hand, Sans took a couple minutes of staring to finally try and take his first bite.

After a couple bites, he put his plate down, directly in front of him. He looked up at the fake stars, then began to ponder.

"ya know, i've heard of a place where you can see the real stars. down here in the underground, i mean."

The idea of seeing something from the surface while still in the underground seemed to pique Papyrus' interest. He tilted his head, having a twinge of excitement flow through him.

"all the way at the beginning of the ruins, where the first human fell, and probably the others. if you stand with your back to the farthest wall, you can look up, and see a glimpse of the real stars."

A long, drawn out sigh crossed through his jaw as he looked over at Papyrus. 

"too bad the ruins are sealed shut. i woulda liked to see 'em sometime. maybe with you, too."

A smile crept upon Papyrus' face at that comment. He then seemed to give a look of determination.

"We Won't Need To Go To The Ruins For That To Happen."

Sans made a small giggle, then a massive laughing fit. He wiped his sockets for the tears of joy he found resting on his face.

"Hey! Don't Laugh!" Papyrus yelled playfully in response.

"It's A Promise."

He giggled one more time before calming down a bit.

"okay, okay, i'll stop," He responded with a slight undertone of humor.

He then brought his hand to his head, and rested down on his palm. He continued to think aloud while now staring at the dirt. 

"i've heard that when you wish on real stars, ya can't tell anyone what it is, or else it won't come true."

Continuing to look away from his brother, he spoke again, but with a whisper.

"maybe that's why my wish didn't come true.."

After a few moments of sullen silence, Papyrus stood up promptly, then left Sans alone while saying "I'll Be Right Back."

Sans frowned as he felt a thousand pins get shoved through his soul. The lights in his eyes traveled with his brother's prance along the ground. They disappeared the minute Papyrus was out of view. He couldn't help but feel like he did something to cause this.

Maybe the topic of seeing stars wasn't that great of a conversation starter. At least he knew something else that he shouldn't do, that could probably get him out of a few fights. Or not. Most likely, despite his ever growing knowledge of Papyrus' dos and don'ts, he would most definitely end up fighting him again.

A single tear dropped down from his face and onto his shirt, his self-worth decreasing again. 

A sudden change in his surroundings would quickly force him to wipe it away however. He started to have a growing suspicion that he was no longer alone. His theory was immediately proven true the minute the surrounding echo flowers started lulling noises of soft pattering in the mud.

His awareness spiked up, and he turned his body to look left and right consistently, his eyes scanning and darting across the room. He held his breath tight, holding on as best he could until the only sound possible to hear was the quiet slamming of someone's shoes. 

He let out a small shriek as the unknown nudged him face first into the ground. A familiar voice echoed through the caverns with a grumble-

Wait, did he know this person? It wasn't until he was shoved over onto his back that his eyes were able to recognize the spikes lined across their face that traveled down their back. The shades they wore, thinking it made them cool. 

He suddenly grunted as they jammed one of their short legs directly into his ribs. Had the damn teenage High School dropouts of Snowdin really follow him all the way here just to harass him again? Yes, yes they did.

Though, it was oddly quiet for a group of people. Chilldrake had come alone this time, it seemed.

"Well. You're still alive? I thought that surely by now you'd be dust. It's quite a surprise to be honest."

He looked up the disappointment of a kid and began to sit up. But before he even thought of it, the tip of the kid's shoe made contact with his chin, and deepened the pressure between him and the earth.

"Look at you. You're being crushed under the weight of of a sixteen year old. Can you believe this? An adult, in the hands of a teen! Be a man already, will ya!?"

They slammed their foot directly into his face as if it were a soccer ball. He grabbed on his cheek, which he was pretty much sure had another crack on it. A scream of pain blasted through him until it was abruptly stopped by the whole right side of his body rolling into the back wall.

"Oh, wait.. it seems like I forgot. You can't be anything but a worthless shit, can you? I mean look at this. I just started, and you're already giving up."

He peered up, ignoring his hazy vision. His lunch threatened to come up when he endured another blow to the chest. The nausea he was experiencing was quite obvious within his facial expression.

"Aww, don't look like that! Here, I'll give you a quick dunk in some water, that should help."

His eyes struggled to stay open, and the silence offered to take him, but he knew he had to stay awake. He couldn't have his brother find him like this. He couldn't die in such an embarrassing way, not without a fight. But, he was just way too tired.

Thumps came rushing to his direction, mud spolshing as they came to an intense stop. His eyes gleamed when Papyrus turned the corner, back from wherever he went. The eye contact between the two let Papyrus know what was happening. 

He felt the water splash around him, and fill the skull of his skeletal form. It sloshed through his head, sinking him into the deep of one of many rivers found in Waterfall. He waved his hands with little to no desperation.

Well, at least he tried.

The ringing took over once more, and his eyes went dim for the final time.

His eyes shot back open with terror as he made desperate, shaky gasps. His body shivered as breezes became instantly colder from his sopping clothes. He clasped at his soul, his body demanding that get as much oxygen as he could in that moment.

He glanced over to Papyrus who had just saved him for surely not that last time. The glare which was one of knowing before had been switched to that of anger.

God, he had fucked everything over again! Of course he had to just mess up literally everything again. He wiped the sweat off his face as he sighed, ready for the scolding of his life.

"DAMN IT, SANS! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU LET SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN! AGAIN! I SWEAR, YOU NEVER LEARN! PACK UP EVERYTHING, WE'RE GOING HOME YOU FUCKUP."

Chapter Text

The minute he opened the door, he shoved Sans inside and slammed it shut again. Anger shot down his spine, and with unbelievable heat, scorched him to the core. It numbed the other thoughts in his head, leaving him with his hatred, and his hatred alone. 

He tried, he really tried this time. He tried his best to spend time and bond with his brother, but in the end, it just all had to be ruined. Of course, the second he turned his back, Sans would only end up in trouble. Papyrus would be the 'hero' yet again, almost as if it was some meretricious plan for attention. 

It was getting a bit hard to believe that his brother was this weak, vulnerable mess that he seemed to be. Afterall, he hadn't fought back this time. It was like Sans wanted it to happen. The useless shit had only proven himself to be worse than previously thought.

He plucked his hand out of the tiny pocket as he held the carefully derooted echo flowers ment for Sans. They whispered positive affirmations with the voice of his own throughout the house like sweet honey being poured on pancakes. He hissed like a pot when his rage reached its boiling point. He cursed into the heart of the flowers while grinding the poor stems of the flowers.

He released the pressure in his palm, letting the flowers slip from him, and flutter down to the floor. He stamped his foot onto them as an ounce of regret slid into his mind. It flew through his mind as quickly as it came when a creak in the stairs caught his attention. He snapped his head to the causation, only to be greeted with the pitiful nervous look of his younger brother.

Rage washed through his eyes like tea and sugar. He saw a bright red flicker through him and a sting flow in his body. His eye gave a small twitch and his voice a grumble. The LOVE in his soul wouldn't let him get away this time, not after today's avoidable incident.

His arm twitched when he had refused to move. He wanted to take action, but yet, he did not. Despite the doubts that had flung through his mind, he couldn't act upon them, not yet. He couldn't be sure if his theories were true. He's only seen Sans so devoid of effort once, and because of that, he wouldn't shove blame into Sans' face just yet.

He let him off the hook with nothing more than a nasty glare and harsh grumble of disappointment. He watched the smaller-framed skeleton poison the air of his house with the sound of his bones rattling in fear. He looked upon Sans' eyes, and at the sweat trickling down his skull.

His brow bones scrunched as the situation had tensed further. He continued his stress-causing glare on the fear stricken younger. When his pure fury threatened to fade again, a thought barged into his violent mind.

"Why The Hell Is He Still Standing There?"

It lingered within him for a while, leaving him confused up until the point where tears started to prick the edges of Sans' eye sockets. Only then, he realized that Sans was waiting for Papyrus to attack or 'punish' him for his faultless mistakes. To tarnish his bones and HP once more.

He tore his stare from Sans and placed it to the floor, trying to give a more gentle tone than what was typical. Almost instantly, whirls and whips of magic zoomed past him, allowing the new lonely aura of the room to give Papyrus the knowledge that Sans had teleported to his room.

Like the harmony of an orchestra, the realization of what he had done dawned on him. With the empty, cold stare followed by his sudden peaceful stance hadn't calmed his brother, but rather made him think that his attack would be held off for only a few moments. Being without the confidence to deal with such a petrified soul, he settled down into a chair with a sigh.

Now basking in the consequences of his mistakes, he smushed his skull into the palm of his hand, contemplating what to do.

He looked over to the kitchen , a deep frown plastered onto his face. He gripped the rim of the table and stood up. He pulled his feet across the floor, slightly slipping on the tile floor of the kitchen. He peeked over at the stairs and squinted.

He walked over to the stove, prepping for lunch. He scoffed and rolled his eyes at the thought of calling Sans down. What was the point of it anyway? He'd just waste most of it or refuse it anyway. Besides, if he needed food, he could get it himself.

After a long time of cooking, he was finally presented with his masterpiece of a dish. His famous lasagna. Taking a plate out for himself, he proudly smiled. He clanked it onto the table and globbed the food on. 

He sat down, the same exaggerated smile on his face. He looked up to the other chair only for his eye sockets to meet with the empty air of the house. He slammed his face into his palms, the smile instantly undecorating his face.

"I Am A Pathetic Excuse Of A Brother," he mumbled into his palms, disappointed in failed attempts to salvage his lost relationship.

Chapter Text

A stampede of bulls rushed through his soul, and chills poured through his body. Questions filled in the empty spaces within his mind, as per usual. His already far off dreams of ever making his older brother happy stretched out farther past the realm of what is known to be possible. 

The corners of his usual smile dropped down, leading his face into a frown. His brow bones were distinguishably bunched up into the center of his face. A deep inhale through a mouth full of chattering teeth only left as a squeak of emotional pain.

His fingers flapped around the lace of his jacket as one hand reached to the back of his neck and tossed the hood up. He tugged at the string lightly, then pulled outward on both with both hands. The strap tightened to a familiar grip, it reminded him of the collar that pressed against him at all times. The small hole that he saw through became less and less visible.

He peaked his nose bridge outside- just enough to breathe. Not like he wanted to. He tossed onto the left side of his body, his direction being towards the wall. He unclamped the hood strings and wrapped his hands across his sheets, He tucked his knees up to it, cradling it tightly.

The droplets were always soaked up by the soft fabric, marking small pebbles on the outside of the hood. Within the palms of his hands, he held his own, delicate soul, desperately trying to perform healing magic on it. The next moment he saw Papyrus, he would undoubtedly have to deal with some downing of the HP so, he decided to prepare while there was time.

Apparently, his magic was still dysfunctioning from earlier, as there was no sign of the healing working. He clasped it harder, hoping that the compactness would help. His energy started to drain once more, and he was close to giving up. 

As his grip grew tighter once more, a tip of one of his sharp phalanges ripped a small crevice into his magical glow. A sharp pain launching through him head to toe forced him to let go and examine the damage. 

Opening up his clenched hands, and peaking through the tightly pulled hood, he revealed his essence. A new deep trench coaxed the soft, gelatin-like heart as liquid magic dropped down it slowly like honey. A single .1 had been taken off of the already harmed HP, leaving him at a dangerously low 0.18.

He gasped with fear and shock, how could he be careless? He had to get this healed, and fast. An idea popped into his skull, but he quickly diminished it. There was no way he would be getting any of Papyrus's care now. Besides, he couldn't let him see the way his soul had several fissures, he couldn't let him see the permanent .8 mark, especially not after years of hiding it, that would just earn him another scolding.

He was running out of time, and he still needed an idea of what to do. The second he had a new idea was the second he took off. He could decide how to get there fast enough on the way.

He pushed his hands to his knees and hunched his back over while sliding his feet past each other. He brought his fist up to the door, bashing it in with a tight fist. He leaned over to the windows, not very surprised when her curtains were there.

Panting, he moved back to the door, slamming his fist back into the door. He thought that surely, surely he would break the door with this amount of pressure, but instead it was the sound of his fists cracking up. 

He pulled away, now resting his knuckles on his teeth. He couldn't keep doing this, he couldn't keep hurting himself. At this rate, he would fall down at any moment. He breathed in sharply as newly formed tears trickled down his face and plopped down to the ground where they completely blended in with all the puddles surrounding him.

Just when he leaned back in to pound at the unopening door once more, a loud shout came from behind him.

"HEY PUNK! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YA DOING TO MY HOUSE!?"

He swiped the remaining cries away with his sleeve, then spun around to meet eyes with the Ex-Captain of the royal Guard. He was slung to the side, the softness of the mud thankfully stopping any damage. 

"undyne," he called out while looking up to her, trying to stand up once again, "i need your help."

Undyne stared down to Sans, her face staying still for a moment. One corner of her mouth folded upwards as she snorted. She fell into a heap of laughter, all while Sans' face remained desperate.

"You need MY help? Listen, I've already taken care of a favor for your brother, that's all I've got room for you guys. Besides, why would I help someone who is related to the person I hate the most? Go cry to him, I'm not your damn babysitter."

Sans listened closely, only getting more desperate with each word.

"undyne, you don't understand- i- i can't ," he started with, not yet caring to explain. His voice became a bit more high pitched, and he shook his head as he spoke "you're all i got." 

Undyne sighed, then bent down and pulled him up by the hand.

"Fine. But only 'cause I know that your brother's an ass."

She brought him inside, and sat him down on the nearest chair.

"Speak," she demanded, almost like Sans was a dog.

He brought his soul out on command, the magic still falling out of him. The consistently decreasing .18 shone brightly underneath the fluorescent lights. The reaction of Undyne's was incredible, as she immediately kneeled to meet eyes with Sans. 

She brought her hand over the injured soul, rubbing her thumb against the fresh wound. Her previous smile was replaced with a concerned frown, as her brows were furrowed to the middle. Undyne cupped his essence with care, avoiding the little fissures scattered across it. 

"Did Papyrus do this?"

Sans shook his head, "no, not this time."

She stared at him for a moment, almost like she was making a mental note. His soul was doing much better, full up to his max now.

"What happened?" She asked, sounding concerned, and maybe a bit impatient.

"i was trying to heal myself, but it wouldn't work. i used too much pressure i gue-"

"Why did you need to heal yourself in the first place?" She intruded, her constant questions making this sound like an interrogation. He grumbled, maybe this frustration was why Papyrus told him not to interrupt people.

"chilldrake attacked me again today."

Undyne stared with confusion, "Again?"

Silence.

"Why didn't Papyrus heal you then?"

Sans stayed quiet for a moment, thinking of how to explain that Papyrus just doesn't heal him, unless he's near death that is. He sighed and looked down.

"well, he was mad at me, and.. he just kinda lets me deal with the pain."

Undyne hummed in response, then stared down at Sans' HP.

"I thought you had one?"

He looked to the side, scratching his temple.

"i did .. but not since we were kids. boss doesn't know."

Chapter Text

It was a beautiful day in Snowdin, a day where the gentle whisps of the cold breeze would sway the trees from side to side. Fresh snow plastered over the previous layer, the old tracks disappearing without a trace. Sure, any normal person would wonder how on earth it snows inside a cave, but when your race has lived in that same cave for over a thousand years, you grow to understand that most questionable things are just magic at its work.

 Behind a wall of trees deep in the unkempt paths of the town laid a closed off park, one that not many knew of. A noble thing it was, with wooden planks making up the overall structure. Thin iron bars lined up against parts of it, the barely chipped red paint would make anyone believe it had only been abandoned recently. That would be terribly wrong though, as this playground had been built with royalty in mind, specifically the long gone prince. According to theories, it was built for his birthday. The king had no intentions on continuing the project after his son passed however.

 All together, the bundle of unused fun had contained a nice jungle gym, around three sets of slides, a mini rock climbing wall, a swing set, and even a free-range area for the wildest of children.

If you had hiked around 3 miles to the left of the heart of the little sanctuary, you would find your way worming through a deep forest that led to a path, which in turn, led to a shed with shattered windows. Moss and vines pranced over the dinky little thing, seeping its way into the small cracks that surrounded the walls, which were spread out as if an artist sputtered them onto their canvas.

Nobody, unless it were the regulars, could ever know that a defiant crook had run a bar there for moral-less monsters like themself. These creatures, the rats they were, would reject societal standards, harming anyone just to gain a new bit of EXP. No rational being would dare enter or even step 10 miles near the building, or at least they wouldn't if they knew it was there.

 Unfortunately, the underground would never be blessed with the widespread awareness of dangers, people were always too closed off for that.

 Back at the park, a small child had sat down on the ground, tuckered out from running so much. Despite his small breaths for air, tightly closed eyes, and beads of sweat running down his pudgy face, there was no doubt in mind that this kid was still full of his endless energy. 

 He rolled back until he was nicely spread out in the pristine snow. He was enjoying the cooling sensation and the softness, especially the softness. It was a reminder of the safety he had there, the comfort he had there. 

 With a bounce upward, and a spring to his step, he found himself ready for another running session. He even changed it up from time to time- from skipping, to prancing, to leaping and finally, hopping around. Afterwards, he continued to zoom through the play equipment until he plopped back down in the same spot he began

 He giggled with cheer filling up his soul, he's never been this free. Sad, it seemed, he looked alone. But he wasn't. He was the one person he trusts- his brother. A patch of exposed dirt underneath a huge tree was occupied by a taller, and older skeleton. He glanced up every two minutes, smiling at how adorable his smile was each time. He would then resume his studies by looking back down at the textbook he was holding.

 Mindlessly flipping through pages may not have been a good way of studying, but it was studying nonetheless.

 While the younger was resting, waiting to regain his breath, a small laugh rang through the woods that circled him. He turned his head either way as a response, trying to find the causation. An unusual suspicion crept up on him, but being his carefree self, he shrugged it off with little notice.

 That didn't really last him very long though, a sudden shout of laughter boomed from behind him. He whipped his head around, his curious stare still beaming with joy. That however, made him feel so much worse when he heard what the voices had to say.

"You only have one HP!?"

 His beaming eyes fell dim and his jaw hung low. He gazed upon two staggering and tall statures, a bright pink glowing on their cheeks. The bunches were brought together by a small bridge that sat on their noses. The only interruption of their blush was on the many scars dug into their faces.

 For the one on the left, rabbit ears sat up top their head, the right had wolf ears instead. Both covered head to toe in abnormally colored fur. Beady black eyes of the rabbit stared with evil intent at the small skeleton as the wolf continued to laugh.

 He couldn't help but fall to his knees when stretching his neck, just to look up at them.

 It was no wonder what his suspicion was now- it was actually just his soul recognizing the feeling of someone performing a check on him. Not long after he came out of his frozen shock, he felt the rim of his shirt tug on his neck and tighten on his collar bone. He started to kick around and grab at his shirt the minute his little feet dangled from the ground.

 It was too late now, he was unable to get free. The sick men who attacked him dug into his developing eye, the right to be exact. He scratched his sharp nail into the bone, the other giggling as dust swooped through the air.

 When he was finally let go, it was quite the opposite of gentle, more like his skull was rammed into the dirt beneath him. He clawed at the grass, not even minding the frigid temperature at the moment. He pierced his fingers into the raw dirt to keep himself down.

 A blood curdling screech exited his jaw while his back started to arch as a foot slammed into the center of his spine. He pulled his mandible together and hitched his breath just before kicking his feet off the ground. He threw himself forward by releasing the earth from his grip and ran.

 He was unsure of where to go at first- until he glanced over at his brother. 

 Surely, he was the coolest, strongest, bravest monster of all, he would know what to do in his situation. Without another hint of hesitance, he ran around the tree, then fell to his knees right in front of his big brother.

 He cried and cried to his studying brother, begging for help. He looked at the smaller one for a good twenty seconds, then glanced up, just to realize the danger. He dropped the book to his side and stood up to guard his brother.

He watched as they approached, not minding their LV hungry looks. All he did at first was look at them with his eyebrows furrowed- he wasn't going to do anything he didn't need to. He grasped tightly onto the smaller one's hand, clasping their hands together. 

 He could tell these 'things' were obviously drunken or dazed. He watched as both of the two men rolled their eyes and attempted to use magic on him, but he wouldn't give up that easily. His defense wouldn't be down that easily, and he would never be stupid enough to protect his brother with a lazy attitude.

 The exact moment the two dared to pounce at him with physical attacks was the exact moment he created a fury of magical attacks. Without even realizing it, he stabbed through one of their souls. 

 With a shocked expression, he sat with sullen breezes surrounding him. The dust whisked away in it without a second thought. How was he supposed to know they would die in just a few measly attacks?

 As his soul filled with LOVE, he gripped his brother's hand and stormed away after picking up his book once more.

 The younger one couldn't understand that his brother wasn't angry, but rather deeply saddened and surprised by the accident. But, it wasn't his first time that he couldn't understand the other's emotions. Afterall, he was too pure to understand the kind of world he lived in. 

  He wasn't too pure to understand why the number on his soul wouldn't go back to one, though.

 He knew not to tell his brother about it either. Afterall, someone could overhear him say it.

Chapter Text

"This thing?" was the first thing she asked after his story concluded. She had grazed the mostly healed, pinkish bone with her uncut nail. The mark striked through the entirety of his right eye and left a bit of an indent. It was a particular shape, it no longer matched with the original one.

 She examined the thing, almost like it was the most unbelievable thing in the world. Sans never found it this interesting, it was healed up fine, there was no need for all this curiosity.

 "Sans, this, this shoulda been fine, you shouldn't have gotten a scar if ya healed it properly- who healed this for ya?"

 The question was not what he had in mind, although was a bit expected due to the concern plastered over her face. It was odd to him, to say the least. Undyne was still known to be ruthless, to be pure evil, despite losing to the new captain known as  "The Great and Terrible Papyrus." It was known by everyone in the underground that she would one day get revenge on Papyrus and take back her place as number one, no matter the cost. So, seeing giving such tender and gentle care to her sworn enemy's brother was almost hysterical.

 "Sans- Sans, who healed you?" she repeated, her tone becoming caring enough that her aggressive 'accent' started to fade.

 He continued to stare and wonder as her soft fingertips pat the old injury on his face. He did not like these constant questions, not after he poured his heart out about some random happenings during his childhood.

 "Hey, punk!" she began to shout, pulling him out of his somber staring, "Who healed you!?"

 Determination sprouted within her, she would get the answers out of him, even if she had to pull them out herself. Apparently, her direct approach didn't work correctly on him like she had hoped, he was still avoiding the question.

"i don't really think that's necessary information," Sans grumbled, hoping for nothing more.

She did not back down. She just had to understand, something inside her told her that nothing was quite alright as it seemed, something was wrong, and she would find out what.

 "That's not what I asked, Sans. Who healed you?"

 "..nobody," he finally blurted as silence took over. Undyne sat on her knees, then looked up to Sans' hanging face. His brooding eye sockets gazed at the floor. He took a deep breath, then picked his chin up so their faces met.

 "i- uh.. i don't get healed unless it's an emergency or uh.. boss gets angry."

 Undyne tilted her head to her left, "Nobody?" 

 She brought her hands to her knees then stood up. She lifted her head and looked down at his skull. She placed a comforting hand on top before talking to him again. Her voice was sweet, like a Kindergarten teacher's.

 "How often does Papyrus 'get angry?' What do you mean by that?"

 She massaged a tear into his bone before he could even fully produce it. His tone started to waver and his breathing became awkward. It constantly interrupted his words, but it was never a full gasp.

 "boss, he- i mess up a lot, i always make him angry," he pulled his hands up, allowing him to look at himself, even if it wasn't fondly, " i- i don't even know what i'm doing wrong, but- he-"

 He took a small break and Undyne pat his head to show her patience with him. He sighed through his teeth and closed his eye sockets for a small moment. He reopened his sockets after a minute of silence, speaking in a low, mumbly voice. Tears started to drip down and he moved his hands over to the chain of his collar.

 "he gets really rough with me.. he hurts me a lot.."

 Undyne listened carefully, then considered her options.

"Has he fractured your soul before?"

 "uh.. a few times, yes," he shuddered as he nodded along the way. It was not a pleasant thought, it never was. Soul fractures only really happened to him when Papyrus got really harsh, when his brother was completely lost in rage. He remembered a couple of those times, espically ones where he was bedridden afterwards. Other times he didn't remember at all, but Papyrus always had enough magic to take care of him. He was so happy that his brother was there for him, even at times when he was stupid enough to be so weak.

 "Do you have any injuries from those times still lingering around?"

 "yea.. a lot of 'em, to be honest."

 That. That was what she was looking for. If they were still around, Papyrus was definitely doing a lousy job when it came to Sans' health. Sure, she had expected that, but there were a few things that made her doubt it. Papyrus was always gentle with Sans when they were growing up, a bit overprotective even. But now, she had enough proof for herself.

 She wasn't going to expose Papyrus, definately not. That would just make it worse, and share Sans' vulnerability with everyone near him. She would just watch him closer, give him something to fall back on, since his brother was so terrible at it. Besides, she would save anyone from that cruelty any time.

 She pushed her hand over to his shoulder, then spoke tenderly to him.

 "Let me see."

 She saw a slight tug on his neck, and her eyes quickly moved down to his hands. He had a firm grip around the chain, one so tight, the top, dainty phalangie on his left index poked through the holes in the metal. His hands slid down the chain bit by bit and rattled around whenever he let go to reposition his hands. Dribbles spotted his skull, few fell down.

 He was a bit hesitant to respond, so he made things easier for himself by swooshing his head from side to side. He swallowed nothing out of nervousness.

 Undyne couldn't have this, Sans needed to be calm, and he needed to agree. She reluctantly grabbed at the inside of his hoodie, not minding the sudden overflow of tears wetting her hands. 

 "undyne, stop."

 "undyne, please stop."

 "undyne i said no!"

 "please stop! please.."

 It was hurting her soul to do this, but she had to, she had to! She really only wanted to help him, it was for his own good. She kept trying to reassure herself as she finally slipped his hoodie off his flailing arms. 

 The begging continued, she couldn't help but shed a tear herself. She tossed the piece to the side and held him down by his left arm. She looked up to him, a comforting look plastered over her harshness. She shushed, reassured, and without his knowledge, began calming him with her magic.

 A soft fuzz lurked over his mind, and he stopped moving, stopped resisting. He took a breath, which genuinely made him feel better. The perspiration began to fade, yet so did his energy. His sockets closed again, but he stayed awake. He listened for Undyne's words, her comfort. He felt that he needed this moment of peace, but he still wanted to stay alert.

 Pulling up his shirt revealed many different little cracks on his bones. It was almost like a pattern had been painted on with the sheer amount of indents and chasms covering his weak and sluggish body. 

 Her thumbs pressed up gently on each little cut, and she studied the deeper ones. For those ones, she left to grab a medkit, and wrapped him in bandages. When she saw the bloody wraps around his arms, she frowned and unwrapped them completely. She poured a little antibiotic over it, then rewrapped every little injury. 

 By the end of her healing session, Sans looked almost like a mummy. She tugged the shirt back over the skeleton, then picked up the sag of now sleeping bones and laid him down on her couch. She hung his jacket up, then draped several blankets over him.

 She hadn't forgotten a pillow, she brought two in fact. One when under his head, the other in his grasp. She knew that ever since their childhood, Sans was quite the snuggler. Every time they snuck out and slept at one another's houses, Sans would always find something to cuddle, and if he had nothing else, he'd give up his head rest.

 He was as comfy as he could be, the comfort resulting into a smile placed upon his teeth. Undyne smiled back, giving him a little pet before sitting on the floor and resting her eyes. She would probably give Papyrus a call about this later, but right now, she preferred to give the little man some rest.

Chapter Text

He hadn't eaten anything since those few bites at their small picnic, he hadn't even left his bedroom. It was dinner time, and Sans wouldn't even get down there. Not that he had made him food, no way. That little runt could make his own food now.

 He pounded his foot into the ground, "SANS!" 

 He listened carefully for a low grumble or even slight movement of the sheets. The light flickered under the pressure of the vibrations coming from his voice. Upon only hearing that, Papyrus clenched the napkin in his hand until the tips forced holes into the cloth. He grinded his teeth together and shook with fierce anger- with anger and definitely not concern.

 "SAAAAAANSSSS!"

 "SANS, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND EAT SOMETHING!"

  With the quietness taking over the house, Papyrus stormed his way up the steps, not minding to take it one at a time. He stopped right in front of his brother's door. This was it, if he didn't open up, Papyrus would drag him out of there himself.

 He slammed his fist onto the door, busting an indent into it every time his knuckles made contact with it. When the door cracked open with nothing else, Papyrus lost it. His little brother was not going to skip all meals for three days straight, he was going to come down and eat a bag of chips at least! He would make sure of it!

 The door handle smashed the wall, then bounced off and rattled the entire door. All that was shown was his garbage dump -that to his low expectations hadn't been cleaned- and his barren mattress. 

 Papyrus tapped his left foot and crossed his arms. He surveyed the area for any signs of a lazy sack of bones. Under the desk was not possible, it was filled to the brim. Inside the closet was crossed out immediately, as there were many untouched things blocking the way. Underneath the trash was considered, but crossed out instantly. That was way too gross, even for Sans' standards.

 He stepped away from the door, then continued his search within the confines of the bathroom. The door was wide open, the only area not exposed was behind the door. It raised his suspicions somewhat. He found Sans sitting there a couple times. He would be sweaty, shaky and covered in tears. He swore he heard him talking, but Sans would always assure him that it was fine, even times when he was covered in marks he was sure he didn't cause.

 He shifted the door, peeking just behind it, but the house remained absent of his brother. His hands trembled- because of his anger and not concern -and he pulled away from the door. He massaged his hand over his face as a few splotches of sweat started to form.

 The way his soul pumped became thwarted by his situation, forcing it into an awkward and constant thump thump thump rather than a normal pulsating. He started to think, which may not have been the best idea. His head started to pound and his world started to shift below his feet. He stumbled back a bit, then forward a bit. 

 Was this an earthquake? No- it couldn't be, everyone would be panicking way more if it were. He couldn't even recognize the taps of small rocks bouncing off the ceiling. When he looked out from the house, not a single thing dodged boulders that were falling from above.

 Maybe it was just him, but at the same time, maybe it wasn't. And if it wasn't, then his little brother would be stuck in the midst of a possible cave in, and oh god he's low on HP right now, and holy shit he's all alone in an unknown location, he probably has no one to help, he's going to die and-

 Papyrus had never breathed this fast before, he's never been this sweaty either. He sat down, and a large gasp expelled through his teeth. He held a deep hum in his chest and hid his forehead beneath his hands. 

 Pulling away resulted in a nice slick covering the palms of his gloves, in which he wholeheartedly decided it was from touching his brother's door handle- despite not having touched the handle after washing the gloves a couple hours ago- and not from the sudden leaking of his eye.

 Pounds in his head hadn't stopped, though he didn't remember them being there in the first place.

 Composure regained, he stood up and exhaustedly sloshed his way over to the front door. He was no doubt at that grease hell again, even though Papyrus constantly told him about the effects of only eating that cheap, unbeneficial food. 

 This was unacceptable, Sans would come home and eat proper food, even if he had to embarrass himself in front of half of Snowdin by going there.

 He was stopped right in his tracks when the footsteps outside the house walked not to the well-known bar and restaurant down the road, but instead to Waterfall. The other surprising part was that the prints lacked shoes.

 Sans, he would never, unless there was an emergency that is. Normally, he would ponder why there was an emergency, but this was his little brother! He was in trouble, and probably needed help.

 Without another minute's notice, he rushed over, following every step of his brother's visible path. 

 Snow turned to dirt which, in turn, turned to mud. It all sploshed around and flew specks around with every pound to the ground. He could feel his throat in his ears, only one thought swinging around in his mind.

  Run .

 Where he ended up was completely unexpected. Undyne's house was not necessarily Sans' typical first choice of help. He thought that maybe he had lost track of his prints, and took a wrong turn. Even so, he pranced up to the door and pummeled it. 

 The light from inside flickered on after just the first few hits, and the door cracked open. He glared through it, observing Undyne's fins shift around behind the door. Her yellow scleras crept over so Papyrus could see.

She grumbled and tossed the door fully open. Her frilly pajamas jostled in the slight breeze, and her eyes looked dull, like she just woke up.

 "Sans-" he grumbled in a haste-filled tone, " He's Gone."

 Undyne almost growled in response. Couldn't Sans go out for a day without Papyrus pestering him about his location? She slid her feet back over to her couch, leaving Papyrus with no words and an open-ish door in his face.

 Papyrus stood silent, he thought about leaving, but the opened door stapled his feet down. Just when he was about to turn away, Undyne came back holding a few packed blankets that carried a snore inside.

 He peeked over the edge, but there was no need. The lump was dropped into his arms, even when his arms hadn't extended in the slightest. A small face peeped through a hole in the blankets, one with closed eyes and a pleasant smile washed up on his mouth.

 A deep sigh of relief grounded his mind from the chaos. He squished Sans tight, and tossed the small arms over his shoulders. Like the massive baby he was, Sans wrapped his arm around the larger body in intricate ways and crossed his legs across the other's body.

 His koala grip was pleasant and reassuring. It was basically Sans' silent way of saying he felt safe and okay. He did this since they were kids, especially when he was a baby. It was like he never grew a day.

 He looked to Undyne, who had acquitted some of her petty, and nodded a small "thank you." She smirked, then moved so that she was no longer next to the door. She slid her palm across the blankets and slipped her hand under. She rolled one up his left sleeve and peeled off a small bit of the bandage.

 The cut was still as massive as before, but it looked a lot less messy. She pressed onto the cuts with her index.

"Are you aware of this?"

 He looked at Sans with disappointment. He held his brother tighter, and repositioned his carry.

 "No. Thank You For Bringing This To My Attention."

 He got another nod in response, then a door to the face. He morphed his mouth to a flat line, then pat Sans' back. Sans was shivering slightly and seemed weaker than typical. He shifted one foot in front of the other and pulled a small snack from his back pocket.

 He tapped Sans' shoulder until he was in a half-asleep daze, and barely able to keep his sockets open. He ripped the wrapper off on the side, then fed little fruit gummies to his brother one by one. As soon as his snack was over, he collapsed back to a deep sleep. 

 He traveled all the way back home with his brother in hand. He rocked his body from left to right as he walked the entire way home.

Chapter Text

 It was strange, sure, but he didn't mind, not in this closeness. This would be the first time in years he felt so comfy. He just couldn't have it end, so he decided to lay low, and pretend to sleep.

 Soft blankets covered up every bone of his which prevented anyone from seeing who he was. It was perfect. The little taps, the gentle pets, every slight caress. It all made it hard not to move his cheekbones a smidge higher, and harder to stay awake and enjoy it.

 Oh how he would hate the lecture he would gain by any sign he was liking his brother's maternal insicts even by the slightest. It would surely be a sign of weakness, one Papyrus insisted that he kept hidden, even though it was already public information.

 Disgusting. That's how he felt, for being so vulnerable, especially in front of his brother, and even more so in front of locals that he knew deep down, laughed at his mere existence daily.

 But even so, he wanted this bliss to pursue. It was a rest for his soul, and for his damaged mind. It felt much better than when he had forced himself to deal with it alone. A tranquility he had never felt before opened up to him, one that felt much greater than the brief peace he gained from the pocket knife under the books in his desk drawer.

 He prayed in silence that Papyrus would slow his tracks, the reasoning didn't matter. All that he needed was some extra time in the joyous heaven he felt from just this slight ounce of affection. This was likely the most TLC he would ever receive, so he treasured it dearly, and hoped that there would be more along the way. Sans felt selfish by how much he wanted. Would it be too much to be treated like this for more than just a trip home? Because that's how he felt now. 

 His sockets were filled with sickenly sweet dreams all the way until the well-known crunch of the Snowdin snow vibrated through his skull and snapped him out of his dreamy state. He remained still once more, now questioning how he felt basically drunk from the slightest sign of love that wasn't related to "level of violence." He then thought of how pathetic he was, leaving him ashamed.

 Papyrus must've felt the disturbance in his faux rest, as he was immediately shushed and given a slight pet to his head to calm his nerves. And it worked wonders. He stayed in that cheery state all the way until he was placed on a pre-warmed cushion, complete with pillows, blankets and comforters.

 This was way too comfortable to be his own room, he was probably in - he opened one eye by a sliver to check - he was in Papyrus' room. Not that it was a problem, definitely not. It was much better than his pigsty, and provided an extra amount of comfort.

 If he were a cat, his purrs would drown out the sound of everything in the room, it's just how comfortable he felt. He could barely even feel the wet washcloth Papyrus slid across his feet in order to remove the grime from running around barefooted. (Though he should have realized it as Papyrus' tradition before climbing into bed.)

 Everything became a bit more hazy by the minute. He didn't even notice his arm bandages coming off once again. But it should've been expected, Papyrus had high standards, especially when it was about Sans' health. Instead of one large bandage covering the whole arm after the antibiotic was sprayed on carelessly, Papyrus took it seriously. He doused each individual cut with some water, then equally spread antibiotics across every incision, and finally covered them in some vaseline and wrapped each cut as its own. He continued the process over to the other arm, which Sans had truly fallen asleep by then.

 Papyrus continued his care for Sans. His mind couldn't rest without it. 

 The pillows were adjusted so they were no longer adjacent to his skull. A few thin, fuzzy blankets, then the comforter, and a weighted blanket to top it off were all laid and compacted onto his body. His arms were plucked out from underneath, then wrapped around another, soft, yet firm pillow. 

 Papyrus stepped back and placed his hands to his hips and admired his work. He sighed and brought his attention to the floor. Maybe he hadn't gotten Sans to eat any food today, but surely he would manage the next. Now, he was tired from today's stress. Sure, the kitchen table was a mess, but he could always clean up tomorrow. He would just have to manage to clean it up before Sans could see and poke fun at how "Papyrus was becoming lazy, just like him."

 He rolled a spare sleeping bag out from the closet, then slid it onto the floor next to Sans' declared temporary sleeping area. Before getting in, he moved out of the room and hopped into some comfortable PJs, then brushed his teeth, flossed and finally washed each foot one by one. He rested his sleeping mask onto his sockets, then rested beside his own bed.

 When the next morning arrived, Sans felt rested for once. He picked his hand up and placed it on his forehead out of habit. Only then, he noticed the absence of the piercing noise that greeted him every morning. There was a lack of pain inside his chest as well, and even the feeling of his eyes drooping was gone. A low hum passed through his mouth from this pleasant surprise, and he closed his eyes to enjoy the moment. 

 He tried his best to keep his mind on the positive side of things, but his thoughts could only lurk over the previous day. A panic attack first thing in the morning, then a picnic that ended him in almost dying, another panic attack afterwards, sorta almost dying again, rambling his heart out to undyne, and finally, another panic attack. Having three panic attacks confined into one day was definitely enough to last him a week, but he was sure it wouldn't. 

 The blankets helped a little, but they weren't equal to the joy of a real, actual person cuddling his bones. He grimaced over how he felt that way. He hadn't dreamed of such affection since he was a mere babybones. Though, he'd always learn that he wouldn't earn that kind of care even after shutting himself out for a whole day.

 He grazed his eyes across the blanket when they finally reopened. They passed over his arms, and took a couple takes to figure out how neatly his bandages were done. He couldn't remember changing them, and they were far too neat for anything that fit Undyne's style for anything, so who-

 It hit him like a bat whooping him in the face. Oh no no no no, Papyrus couldn't know, he'd surely be way more than furious. Sure, he wasn't far along in the process of becoming addicted to it, but he had done it two times, and that was two times too many. Now, Papyrus had seen every little scratch that floated in a forest of other slits resting on each of his arms, and he surely wouldn't be spared of a strict punishment for any longer than he already had been.

 He grabbed behind his skull, expecting his hand to meet with a hood, but nothing was there. He looked over to the other side of the bed, and sure enough, it was hung neatly on a coat hanger. He tumbled to his side as his expression became dreary. He caved his chest in and brought his knees to his eyes. He could've just gotten up and grabbed it, but the old, wooden floorboards had a chance to alert Papyrus. That just meant he couldn't hide away in hoodie town for now, which was exactly what he wanted to do. So, he settled for holding his pillow harder than he ever imagined he could.

 He pushed every square inch of his face into that pillow, trying to hide with it instead. He'd never imagine himself crying or shaking this hard, whether it be from fear or something else. 

  Every time he picked his face up to breathe, he was reminded of how pathetic he was. His face had managed to stay dry, but his pillow had the shape of his face imprinted into it with tears. After each new reminder, he would shake an ounce more, then grit his teeth and hide away again.

 After nearly a half hour of crying, Sans forgot the source of his tears, and sat up in bed. He looked at the ground and noticed how large the gap between the floor and his feet was. There was a good foot and a half space that he had to step down. Just another reminder of how short and ugly he was.

 Not that he cared for his looks, he could care less. It just would feel nice to know he looked decent at times. That way he wouldn't have to avoid puddles whenever he was in Waterfall.

 Whatever, there's no use in dreaming of impossible circumstances. So, he finally took the small leap, and remade the bed. He didn't forget to flip the pillow he was crying into around either. He stepped back to make sure everything was right, then walked to the door.

 The minute he peered through the door, he caught a whiff of a delicious, sweet scent that overwhelmed his face. He descended the stairs and made his way to the kitchen where his brother caught a glimpse of his shaky and confused look. He peeked at the stove, which was where Papyrus was standing.

 His head fell to his shoulders and he brought his hands to his knees while laced with one another. His right foot shifted against his other so that his left was protruding from his awkward stance. He looked up to meet eyes with his brother, despite his nervousness.

 Papyrus caught sight of this, then motioned to the chair closest to himself and uttered one word,

 "Sit."

 Sans looked down without hesitating and crept to the chair. He plopped down without a sound. He glanced up at Papyrus at certain times, unsure of how to react. His hands continued to cross, but were now resting between his femurs. He shifted in his seat with anxiety in his stare. 

 Papyrus was not surprised. All he could probably think of was the last conversation the two had before going separate ways for the night. Though, Sans probably knew exactly what happened after he fell asleep, because of awakening in Papyrus' bed and such.

 He slid a small portion of his breakfast to Sans, one small enough so he was sure the younger could finish with ease, then sat down across from him. He started to eat his own plate while watching Sans twiddling his own fork before finally taking his first bite. 

 With that, Papyrus decided to break the silence. 

 "You'll Be Staying Home For A Week Or So."

 He seemed to have a genuine interest, or curiosity at least. 

 "why? i'd miss out on work, wouldn't that anger the king?"

 Not having the guts to remind Sans of yesterday's incident, or straight up call him weak without reason, he made something up.

 "Well, The King Has Ordered That Certain Sentry Stations Across The Kingdom Are Uh.. Rechecked With Quality Control."

 Sans believed his lie too, as he nodded with agreement.

 "understandable."

 "Now," He began speaking once more. This may have been a weird request out of context, but he knew Sans was still weak. He could recognize that look from anywhere, "Don't Mess Around And Stuff While I'm Gone, Okay? Rest Up Or Something."

 Sans was left more confused at that. It was so sudden and awkward. Papyrus would never say something like this from out of the blue, which caused him great concern.

 "Don't Look At Me Like That," He scoffed with an ounce of regret climbing his spine. That face Sans always made when he was laced with worry was just awful. Where his mouth sat open by the slightest bit, and his brow bones furrowed up in the middle, and where his eyes looked as if they were starting to water whenever he was given the slightest bit of worry, it was really terrible.

 He looked like he wanted to cry and beg for Papyrus to not go, just out of anxiety that he wouldn't return.

 "I'm Fine, Just.." He started to speak with a far more relaxed tone, "Take Care Of Yourself."

Chapter Text

 The breeze outside was tapping on the living room window. The TV rested on its usual static, but it was muted anyway. He shifted around on the couch, making his collar's chain jiggle along with his moments. 

 Sans could practically hear the neighbor's clock ticking each second. He propped his head up on the couch arm, brought his hand to the sky and- 

 "god.."

he thought out loud.

 "the fuck am i s'pposed to do all week?"

 His hand fell to the side of him, and he brought his attention to the roof, then to his thoughts. 

"..and the fuck does boss mean with that 'take care of yerself' shit??"

 He pushed a sigh through his teeth. It was just a week, one week until his daily cycle repeated itself. Though, it wasn't like he hadn't noticed what Papyrus was doing lately. From the library, to his cooking lesson and to the picnic. Even if his latest attempt had failed, it was like his brother was trying to look past their problems. It looked to be working, too. Not really for him, but like hell he cared about that part. It was working for Papyrus, that's all that really mattered. Not someone as pathetic as himself.

 'Take care of yourself,' the thought continued to repeat, but he didn't even know how to do that. This probably wasn't how you did it.

 Just then, Sans tossed his feet to the edge of the couch and turned forward. He jumped to the floor. He walked to their television and switched it off, ending his never ending wait for a channel to pop up. He teleported to the bathroom, then flicked the light on. In a flash, he slipped his clothes off and turned the tub's nobs until it was just about scorching.

 He stepped in and sat down, the relaxation practically propelling through his bones. He closed his sockets for a moment, and when he opened them again, it felt like he had rested for a thousand years.

 If it weren't for the stupid man in the mirror, he would've done this a lot more. But for now, he was just going to ignore how he was being mocked for every movement. 

 He scrubbed at his bones until they were shining in the light. Afterwards, he took a small moment to sit and relax. There was a quiet slushing of the water and a small buzz in the light. He stared up at it once he closed his eyes. The soap bubbles popped until any sign of them completely dispersed into the water. He took a deep breath in, then sank deeper into the bath as he let the breath out.

 It was a nice combination of feelings, but it was always disrupted whenever he caught a glimpse of him. Sans would whip his back around every time and pretended that the water falling down his face was from washing up. 

 Those little waves of sadness would linger and build up until all he really wanted was to smash the thing to shreds. That way, he wouldn't have to look at every disgusting part of himself every time he had to come inside this stupid, cramped bathroom. 

 Maybe, if he got rid of the damned thing he could relax in his life while pretending he was as tall and gorgeous as he wished he was. Besides, it was overpriced anyway. It was apparently worth one hundred fifty gold, but the only defining features it had was being, ridiculously, seven feet tall and three feet wide with a matte black frame. Who the hell needed a mirror like that!? They did, according to his brother.

 So, now he was dealing with looking at the way his body was shaped. From his scar that ran from his mouth to his forehead in the shape of a bald vulture, to his head looked like a bowling ball resting on top of a can of soda. And his eye sockets which he swore, if they were any bigger, he'd be more disproportionate than a typical kid's drawing of a horse. 

 The eyelights resting in his eye sockets were not left out of the ugly campaign. Each one used to be a bright red that gleamed in the light, but now he was cursed with one being a horrible mahogany color because of that ugly, pink thing on his eye. He couldn't stand it anymore, so he tore his vision away from the stupid mirror.

 Soon enough, he found him glaring back at it, however. It wasn't really his fault though, it was the fact that his nasty body was just right there . And his nose. It stuck out like a flamingo in a rainforest. It was huge with the shape of a monster soul. "Cute" is what people called it, but it was impossible to be true. They said the same to his pudgy face and cheeks, but to him, it meant nothing more than a sign of weakness.

 The rest of his body was just begging to be insulted as well, because that was the worst about him, his actual body. His stubby limbs and fingertips made sure he couldn't reach anything at the slightest elevation. His hips and legs were too wide, and his top half felt too small, it made him feel girly. He was sure he looked it as well, since it wasn't a rare occurrence people avoided him for looking like a nine year old girl.

 After some time, it was just too much to bear. He stood up without an ounce of hesitation and stepped out. He snatched the towel from off the nearby plastic bar and tucked it around his ribs all while facing the opposite way of the mirror standing only a few feet away.

 He twisted his top half either direction to test the sturdiness of his wrap before deciding to head back downstairs. Just as he took the first step, however, it was like the floor became a sort of liquid that warped away from his step. His eyes went wide, and  he stumbled back from the surprise.

 Each stumble one was like a storm on the floor and a pound in his head. He grasped at the side of his face and ripped a groan of pain through the air. His spine eventually slammed into the mirror behind him, shattering it within seconds. He looked at the pieces with dread in his stare. He wasn't going to be spared from his brother's wrath when he saw his mirror worth one-fifty gold in shambles. His many reflections showed him a face of crimson red and dimming eye lights.

 He looked away from the floor and hoped he could just at least make it downstairs and deal with the mirror later, but the world was apparently against him, as the lights up above were spinning in place, making it hard to even move a single step forward. He struggled with trying to find a way out of this prison of distorted things for a moment, but felt immensely stupid when he managed to teleport out and into his room.

 The torture refused to end though, and the world remained just as dizzying as before. Heat washed through him with every movement he made, and poundings in his head followed along. He made a swift action to grab some clothes and get back downstairs in one movement. He ditched the shorts, deciding it was too hot for them, and went for plain white boxers and a red t-shirt. He could've stayed in there, but he would rather stay clean for more than just five minutes, even if those five minutes were absolute hell and made him want nothing more than to sit down somewhere comfortable.

 He tossed them on, not even caring to make sure his clothes were on properly. He tried to teleport back on the couch, but his vision was starting to get too hazy for that. He climbed desperately down the steps, sighing when his foot met the downstairs floor. His legs were already feeling like jello and and his eyes were drooping in a way that begged for rest. 

 One more step forward, and his body gave in, collapsing him on the floor in an instant.

 When Papyrus returned from work a mere hour later, he was unfazed to be met by his brother laying half-naked on the floor. Papyrus gave a sigh, then took his armor and gloves off at a quick pace, and placed them on the table without care. His concern for his brother overpowered his care of his property.

 He scooped the other skeleton up into his arms, and looked at his face. Sans was a bright red all over, and his mouth was agape. He shook a little, and took small bursts of air at a time, only to give back large amounts that were larger than what he took. He made quiet groans from time to time, and his body felt hotter than the core itself.

 Papyrus moved his hands on top of Sans' forehead, then laid him on the couch. He sat down in a way where he could hold Sans' head, then caressed his cheek while checking for any injuries.

 Sans started to murmur a soft response with his eyes still closed, "go..in' ta… gri.." but Papyrus didn't take long to shut him down, even in his sleep talk.

"I Have Never Seen Someone As Sickly As You In This Moment, You Are Going Nowhere, Brother."

 Just then, Sans started to awaken at the familiar voice. He shifted around for a moment, then peered up at him, and mumbled something more understandable.

"who ya talkin' to, boss?"

"You! You Incompetent Rodent."

"you sure i wasn't sleep talkin'?"

"Of Course You Were, But My Point Still Stands. Now Go Back To Sleep, Your Eyes Are Basically Begging For It."

Chapter Text

"i feel more drunk than.. than drunk."

 Papyrus flattened his brow bones and looked down to Sans as he leaned his head over onto Papyrus' chest. Papyrus had his arm wrapped around him and his head on top of the younger's. He internally face-palmed for what felt like the fifteen millionth consecutive time today and started to grumble from his mental exhaustion of watching someone more delirious than possibly imaginable.

"You've Never Even Had A Drop Of Alcohol In Your Life."

"i know.. i know.. but this is how i think i'll feel when i turn twenty one.."

 Papyrus nudged the medicine cup in his left hand closer to Sans' hand and moved his right onto his forehead. His bones were a deep crimson and felt like burning embers. The heat would've been nice to anyone, if it weren't radiating off an ill person.

"Just Take Your Medicine And Go To Sleep. Please."

 Sans turned his face the other way, so he was shoving it into Papyrus' ribs and pushed the medication away with a gentle shove. His mouth curved into a frown and his head tilted upwards to pleadingly stare into the eyes of the one suggesting his horrid fate.

 "but it's gross," he complained in a desperate mutter, "i don't wanna.."

 How one could go from seeming perfectly okay to acting like nothing more than just a baby and a drunk, was Papyrus' main question of the moment. He held the cup to his mouth and started to become firm in his words.

"Take It, Now. Don't Make Me Force You."

 Just like a child, he tossed a hand on his mouth and closed his eyes. He mumbled into his hand after shouting a hefty "no!" Papyrus waited no longer for him to take it on his own, and started to pry his hand off his mouth with just enough care to prevent injury. Sans grunted, and flailed his arm with childish anger flowing through him.

 The medicine was poured into his mouth, then blocked in by his brother's hand. He had no choice but to kill off his rebellion, and swallow down the wretched taste of hell.

 "ohh.." he whined while wiping a tear from his eye. "why'd you do that.. it's too gross.."

 "Because You Need It To Regain The Strength You've Foolishly Lost. Now Just Go To Sleep."

 Sans peered into his sockets after detecting annoyance and anger in his tone. He rubbed his eyes and hoped for no one to see his pathetic tears coming from something as simple as his brother's tone. But he couldn't sleep like this, it hurt his insides too much.

 "hey.. i'm sorry. please don't be mad at me.."

"I'm Not Angry," he spoke in an abnormally calm voice, "You're Not Really Yourself Right Now, And I Could Never Stay Mad At You Anyway."

"really..? promise you're not upset with me..?"

"As Long As You Promise To Take Your Medicine By Yourself From Now On."

"okay.. promise."

"Then I Promise As Well."

 His mind started to relax, and his cheek felt a small rubbing. He couldn't help but give a small smile which caused his eyes to fog up with the puffiness of his cheeks. Sooner than expected, he fell into a peaceful darkness. 

 Papyrus remained awake and quietly held Sans' head, which was too small to even fully fit in his palm. He didn't mind all too much though. He felt a nice calming feeling as he felt the purrs and murmurs his little brother made when he rubbed circles into the back of his neck.

 He couldn't but create a smile bigger than he ever had. Sans' face had never been so relaxed. It lacked his trembles and nervous sweat that seemed to usually, never end. It gave Papyrus some sort of.. relief. Maybe he could be a good brother for once, and at least have a decently better relationship with Sans. Sure, it was not in the way he hoped it would be, but it was something.

 And it was something better than ignoring him after fights as well, much better. He hoped it gave him peace of mind even if just for a while. He couldn't handle it anymore. not the crying, not the begging, it was all too much. All too much guilt, all too much pain he inflicted on his brother, and for what? A bad joke? A good laugh? It was getting hard to tell the difference between what set his LOVE off and what didn't.

 There's one more thing he didn't get. How every time, without fail, whenever he resisted hurting Sans, he would constantly think about being hurt until his anxieties peaked, and would eventually break down, and beg him to hurt him, like it was some sort of punishment. He only ever had the strength to put his face to cringe to stop tears from escaping. He walked away with his guilt dragging him down until he calmed. 

 The times he had to take time and tuck his sleeping body back into bed afterwards each broke his soul a little more. He just wished Sans knew it wasn't his fault, it was Papyrus'. It wasn't a punishment, just extreme anger. He doesn't need to worry, it's all going to change. He's going to be okay. But he just. Couldn't.

 Little did he even realize he was already whispering the comforts into Sans' ear, with all the love he hid away. Sans only smiled and hugged him tighter. His face couldn't look any happier, and his sleep couldn't be more restful.

 Papyrus thought back to the times Sans was always like this. So blissful and cheery, even with all his awful speech that replaced ts and s with "th" or rs with "w" that he only got rid of three years ago. He wished he could go back and cherish those times instead of spending all his time in books. Sure, that way he was able to give extra, and better education than the low funded schools ever could, but he never knew any homely duties, only play and work. 

 Sans would always smile the brightest, and boost his positivity in this small and cruel world. Now all he had left from it was thoughts wondering "how could I take that all away?"

 Papyrus pulled away for a second. He couldn't think like that. He had to keep hope. There was only one more soul until they could be free. Just one more until everything would be fine.

Just one more.

Chapter Text

Rest slipped away from Papyrus' hold and he opened his sockets. But what he saw was not his bedroom, but the living room walls instead. Coiled up on his chest was Sans, holding his side a lot more tightly. He rechecked Sans' temperature, which was still pretty warm, but a lot better.

 A strong scent of slightly burnt pancakes with a bit too much butter and syrup filled the room with its aroma. The dull sound of Mettaton's channel playing followed along to help display the image of a plate of warm breakfast and TV right in front of him.

 Papyrus couldn't help but slip a chuckle out at the stool still in front of the stove and the cookbook flat on the counter, presumably on the last page of pancakes.

 Sans could be the most hardcore edgelord on the outside, but he was always nothing more than a sweetheart that could melt anyone who saw him within a matter of seconds in reality. He leaned over and took a small bite. It wasn't that bad minus the overly crispy sides and the ocean of syrup surrounding it.

 When he turned back over to Sans, his eyes met his brother's. They peeked up at him and were wide open with beaming curiosity. 

 Through the cloth of Papyrus' shirt, Sans muttered, "do ya like it?"

 The way Sans.. just did all that, and just for him too. God, at this point, his poor soul was no longer melting, but burning to ashes within seconds.

 "Yeah, Thank You Sans."

 Papyrus gave a gentle squeeze, then picked Sans up so his feet were hanging over Papyrus's legs and his head was in his arm. Papyrus pat Sans' head for a second, then leaned forward so his legs touched the ground. Normally, he'd be pissed that he fell asleep like this, but the happiness on Sans' face made all his regrets disappear.

"Here, Let's Get Your Medicine."

 "i already took it," Sans mumbled, still with that bright smile, but his eyes did not follow for some unknown reason. His brow bones curved at the center of his face, and his eyes looked to Papyrus' chin rather than face.

 "Is Something Bothering You?" Papyrus asked as his mood followed Sans'. It was a little worrying to see him gone from so happy to so shaken, especially right in front of him where he was sure nothing had happened to Sans within the few seconds.

 "i.. i just.. i.. i dunno know.. i just… i don't feel good.. at all," Sans huffed while rubbing his hands across his eyes, "i just can't right now.. i don't.." He continued until his rambles faded away. His mouth hung open for a moment before shutting to a flat line.

 Mood swings again, probably. Just much worse than his depressive ones, especially with this sickness. Papyrus sat for a moment, then just pulled Sans in and pet the nape of his neck. Not much of a reaction was given from him for a while, until he hunched over and relaxed a little.

 "It's Okay, I Get It," Papyrus tried to say, but it turned out to be more of a mumble of anything. Still, Sans found at least some comfort in this, and looked up at him. 

"thanks."

 His voice was a bit cheery again, not as much as before, but was still maintaining a sweet smile. Maybe his booming positivity was taken away completely. That fact was ensuring enough to give him the hope he needed to make things better, or at least try again.

 Papyrus checked his phone for the time, and since when had it been ten in the morning!? He was careful to put Sans back down gently on the couch before jumping up and having his freak-out. He tossed his armor and gloves back on, both still resting on the table, but this time set up nicely after being cleaned and shined.

 With no time to apologize for the rush or thank Sans for his efforts, he gave a half smile and wave to him while he rushed out the door, mouthwash and deodorant in his back pocket. 

 Sans was left sitting there with his hands on his knees and beads of water in his eyes. He gave a deep sigh to the presence of loneliness that surrounded him again while he tucked himself in his own hold. He sprawled along the couch, tears finally falling down his cheeks, but all he could do was wipe them away as anger took him over. 

 He spent so much of his time, trying to make up at least some of his mistakes, but of course he fucked up again. Just as always. The pancakes, the show, hell, even the affection he gave, of course it wouldn't be up to par.

 And of course things would never change, whether they were old, young, hell, if he were dust he'd probably still be left alone with no one to go to for hours on end. At least when he was young, it wasn't weird or unsafe for him to go around the neighborhood or play in a park. But now he was older, trapped inside and still alone.

 "why am i like this..?" he muttered into the cushions while his frown focused on faltering and trembling between looking angrier than Papyrus could ever be, and completely depressed. "it's not his fault.. and i can just fuckin be with someone all the damn time!"

 He covered his eyes to hide his tears from himself. He wanted to be sad, he wanted to be pissed, he wanted something, but he just didn't know what. He tossed himself over, and over, and over around the couch, if he could, he would've tossed himself off a bridge as well.

 His mind, as full as it was, felt silent. Well, not silent, but he might as well be so used to this ringing that it's basically nothing at this point.

 How long has it been since he's started being this low, since he's first heard this ringing? Forever, it feels. But more accurately, probably 11 years ago when Papyrus first.. attacked him. It came so sharp all he could do that night was hold his head in pain while Papyrus sat locked in his room, not even coming out to cook.

 His soul passed through his ribs in an instant. All he could see was the very scar he was given all those years back. His eyes flowed across each and every little mark in this field of pain all until it wrapped around back to where he started. It all flashed back to him, the repressed memories and the ones he couldn't even try to forget. 

 Seeing the picture in whole was a mistake. It only made him feel so much fucking worse. About himself, about his overful mind, about everything. His soul, once so pretty, big and bright was dull, bruised and torn by his very own fault. 

 How he's lived so long this way, it's a miracle. The signs, while no one has really noticed, it feels like it should be obvious. The chalkiness of his bones, the bags under his eyes, how he's been so sickly.. It should be clear that he's been falling down, but he's glad it's somehow not.

 Though, it must be a little selfish, and hypocritical too. Slowly dying to eventually leave Papyrus alone, just as Papyrus does to him (minus the dying part of course), just to have some peace. But it would be selfish to live too. He was the one holding everyone back anyway. 

 Once more, he put his hood over his head and started to pull at the strings. His body trembled and he settled with laying on his side. With his jaw clenched, and his eyes closed, he thought on and on until his tears ran dry.

 Either way, he had to live, he had to fulfill the promise he made. He had someone to look after, he couldn't give up yet. Just one more thing he had to do before he could give up. 

 Just one more.

Chapter Text

  There was just one thing lingering on his mind from the past week, that being his embarrassment from being caught crying on their couch because Papyrus came home earlier, and he had no time to come back to his senses. The conversation he had following that was one he'd rather never happen. The entire time made him want to curl up and die even more than he already wanted to. 

 Part of him was regretting pushing that care away, though. Knowing him, he'd probably give him that 'or so' part of his break if Papyrus was given enough suspicion to believe something happened. That would make him think he was even weaker, because let's face it, he knew Papyrus was forcing a break on him because he was 'still weak' from his most recent attack. Papyrus was just too afraid to insult him unprompted and when he was in control of his words. Though, he never would know why facts are considered insults by Papyrus.

 Besides, he'd never recover from it, the scars, the bruises, they'd never really go away until he was recovered from falling down. That's just how it worked. His HP would be perfectly fine, but the bruises would be barely visible, just enough to slowly destroy his defense and stamina, making him weaker by the day.

 Of course Papyrus wouldn't know that. So he would just give him more and more breaks that never really did anything but give the wounds time to fade and his HP time to heal. But with all these little cuts on his arms, which he hated, never fading, it was a ticking time bomb until Papyrus found every secret. Or maybe he already knew.

 Afterall, would Papyrus really lecture him of the importance of capturing humans if he hadn't made that promise during that one awful snow day, the one before their picnic to be more specific? And yeah, he lied. He didn't just spend too long trudging in the snow, he took a detour, but did he really deserve a beating? Yeah, he did, but still. And yeah, he probably would lecture him still, too. But that was just Papyrus, and it was just Sans for him to be bothered by the coincidence too.

 Too bad "just Sans" consisted of a pounding headache every time he thought for a little bit too long. The little breeze tugging on the fluff of his hood made him shiver enough to pick his head up in a slight worry he'd blow away. And the bits of dust sweeping off his fingertips didn't help any.

 The carpals on his left hand made clacks against his desk for just about a minute before it dived into his front pocket. He tightened his jaw with his teeth chattering at the sight of his own body ready to disappear. As familiar as he was with casually watching his own dust fall to the ground at the slightest swipe of his hand, it's never blown in the wind, or at least he's never seen it.

 The only thing that made the clattering stop was the lift on his collar. His skull darted up, and the one to greet his eye was, of course, Papyrus. The only doubt he had about it was how scrunched up his face was, and how it made him look like a different person. But, he was slacking off by Papyrus' standards, and right after his long lecture of the importance of finding and capturing humans too, so that wasn't too surprising.

 Knowing himself, he probably looked more dead than the typical skeleton right now, and that clearly only made Papyrus flare up with more anger. The sternness of Papyrus' voice made him feel like he was at gunpoint. His tone was so cold, all Sans could do was freeze as a pathetic whimper bubbled in his throat.

"What Were You Doing."

 The instinct to defend himself was gone. He knew he messed up, and he had made a massive mistake with that promise he made. He barely even thought of the consequences, or his job at that. His voice was breaking up so much, he couldn't feel anything but embarrassment.

"i'm sorry." 

 He took a sudden pause in his breath, until his body was once more resting against his chair. He wasn't all too relaxed, with only half the exhale leaving. His jaw loosened, but clattered louder. Papyrus sunk into snow, leveling their eyes and inching closer until his breath was running over Sans' shoulder. 

Sans put his hands into fists the minute the shivers contacted his wrists. The way Papyrus looked at him with his eyes not even narrowed.. he was truly mad, truly disappointed in him. Not an ounce of LV influenced his emotion or decision.

"If You Were Truly Sorry, You Would've Stopped The First Time."

 With that, his boots shifted along the snow as he picked himself back up, crossed his arms and walked back with a harsh glare and a loud hiss in his voice.

"Try Harder."

 That grumble, that anger, and that way he carelessly smashed his boots into snow, murdering it and getting the remains all over his freshly polished, and carefully cleaned for hours on end armor. It flared up that spark of anger and self-worth he was desperately clinging to, but that spark, it refused to go out again, and to become a slave that only ever does Papyrus' command.

 For once, he felt his emotion was fully his own. He may be in the wrong, he may deserve this, but that was it. The line had been crossed, and way too far this time. It was like the previous week had never happened.

"don't you ever think that maybe, this is my hardest?" His voice was merely a grumble at first, but it took no longer than a minute for his fists to slam his desk with a force that shook the ground, and push his hands flat down so he could rise from his chair. His eye flickered a deep red. His head was down, but his eyelights were dead at Papyrus, who had already slowed his walk to a stop and turned his torso to face Sans. Sweat dribbled down his forehead, and his whole body was trembling, but this fury was outweighing his fear. 

"don't you ever consider how i feel?" His words were like individual bombs with a blast radius that destroyed the entire forest.

All Papyrus could do was laugh while he turned his body around. He extended a sigh until it turned to growl and his face was hot enough to boil water.

 "All I Ever Do Is Consider You. As Useless As You Are." 

 A moment of silence blazed between the two, holding them in a standstill. For a moment, Sans' expression was still, until his head lifted and he laughed through his words.

"really? then you should've-" pain coursed through his entire body, tears ready to well, but no matter his sadness, his voice was all giggles. "you would've noticed how fucking long i've been on the edge, right? you must've if you're so sure i can do better when i gotta fucking pull myself through every damn day, right? AM I FUCKING RIGHT!?"

 His smile was so bright, he looked like he had lost all sanity the minute he spoke. His arm came over his eyes for half a second, just at the time he shuffled toward Papyrus. For a minute, Papyrus looked disturbed, his face, it was that same disgusted look Papyrus always gave him, but a lot worse. The cycle was repeating, but it was just a little different this time. 

 Sans was at his breaking point.

 Not a minute later, Papyrus stepped forward with his head jerked up, as if to intimidate Sans into sitting down again. The tears were taken into no account, but it reminded him of all the fight and oppressed tension in his bones. He tightened his fists, cracking his knuckles in the process.

"And You Think I Don't Do The Same? That I Am As Heartless As A Human? You Kid Yourself."

 A step closer from each of the brothers brought them head to head, or as close to that as the height difference would allow. Both could feel the others' brimming rage and the energy that fueled it. Sans was panting with his tears melting the snow below them, but Papyrus' breath was still and controlled.

"you don't even understand what i'm meaning," Sans’ voice pushed through flurries of voice cracks and gasps. A salty taste filled his mouth the second he pulled a breath in. "i can't get rid of this fucking ringing in my ears, it's fucking normal at this point. my bones, they're weak, and pale, and chalky and none of my injuries ever heal. it takes months for a scrape to heal. all i ever want is death because i'm fucking dying . and the only thing you care about is 'ooooohh i'M PaPyruS AnD i WanNA CaPtuRe a HuUuuUmAn!!!' AND YELL AT ME WHEN I WON'T DO THE SAME!"

 Papyrus reached out to Sans' shoulder and pressed until he was visibly in pain from it. His fingertips turned just as red as his sight, causing cracks to rush down Sans' side and allow a hiss of pain to seep through his faltering grumbles. Sans calling him inconsiderate was practically writing the word hypocrite out in red pen all by itself. For a second or two, he could only stare and breathe through a clenched jaw that restricted his air. “For All My Life,” He said with his voice sinister and trembling with anger, “All I’ve Ever Done Was For You.”

 His body tensed so much, fumes coming from his ears could almost be seen. Sans, with his voice only a slight difference of a tone of pain, dared to speak out. “and i-” was all he managed to utter before a backhanded hit knocked his face to the side, and tossed the words out of his mouth. “For All My Life,” Papyrus continued with his grip turned onto Sans’ chin, ”All I Ever Wanted Was For Us To Capture A Human. To Get The Final Human Soul.”

 Sans, with his eyes narrowed, spoke with just a bit more pain, regret, or whatever that he was feeling, it was getting hard to tell. “but i don’t understand why!? i just don’t want to do this job! not all humans are heartless and evil!“

“I Don’t Care About That! YOU'RE JUST TOO SELF CENTERED TO REALIZE THAT!" 

 A pang of regret dropped into his soul, but only managed to temporarily stall the pumping flow of adrenaline and rage that shook Sans' body harder with each word, that made his bones tense and made him snap finally from the hunger of his LV. 

 Papyrus shifted forward until he couldn't anymore, unless he wanted to crush Sans between himself and the sentry station. He almost felt bad from the fear that he could basically taste with how close he was to Sans. His eyes in a lock with Sans' as he held him by the- his knuckles only gripped tighter before he could realize- the neck, he could only stare at the tiny eyelights that darted around hopelessly.

"I Only Ever Wanted This For You, My LIFE Was Dedicated To You! I'd Never Do Any Of This If I Had The Fucking Choice!"

 Breath tickled his shoulder down to his tailbone once more, causing shivers to open his jaw enough to slip out those pathetic whimpers he was holding back. He kicked at the ground, but that too, was taken from him. Maybe it was a bit too late to realize, but he would definitely understand to stay in his place after this - if there was an after this. The pain felt like death, so this might as well be the last day of his life.

 The tears were all running from his sockets now, desperately and rapidly. His hands instinctively ran across Papyrus's arm with a force that begged for freedom. He was never granted his wishes, and the fingers around his neck took away more of the one thing he'd never expect to need as a skeleton. Yet, he could still only grope at the hand and pray to be let go.

 To Papyrus, it was like he was watching through a television screen instead of his own eyes. He didn't even feel much other than hatred and rage. Not the wind, not the subtle breeze, not even the weight of his words.

 "I've Wasted SO Much Of My Life On You Sans," His voice came out in growls, hisses and snickers. He felt so dead, yet, in a way, free. With his hands around Sans' neck, and.. where did those bruises come from? "I- I Just Wanted Us To Be Free Sans, Free From This Hell!"

 The world was frozen. All Sans could do was kick and cry as he choked on air, and all Papyrus could do was laugh and rejoice, with all the things he's ever wanted to say finally out there, even things he should've kept to himself.

 It felt so great.

 It felt worse than death.

 He felt free.

 He felt trapped, and like a disgrace.

 Papyrus pulled back, and for a second, Sans could breathe. And with the small time he had, life filled his body, spewed tears out with post haste as if to make room for air, even pausing his movements to focus on the breeze waking his soul.

 And Papyrus watched his brother for that second, only to crack a smile when he slammed him right back against his post, taking it away again.. and again.. and again.. until he lost himself in the rhythm of gasps and cries that followed the pumping feeling in his chest.

"All I Ever Wanted Was To Protect YOU, But All You've Ever Done To Repay Me Is SLACK OFF, WHINE LIKE A BRAT, RUIN MY REPUTATION, AND- GOD, I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN IS HOW MUCH YOU'VE FUCKED ME OVER!"

 A warm feeling graced his fingertips from the back of Sans' skull as his loud shrieks flowed into his ears like a blissful heaven. Finally, oh finally, his brother was learning how it felt to be tortured by his own blood. His brother, who'd do nothing after he put so much on the line for him, could finally understand what that was like. His brother, who he'd protected and loved with his life for years, for nothing more than a slack off. His brother..

 He laughed for a second, then another, but soon enough, he couldn't tell if he was sobbing or laughing. The red pouring down his brother's back, and the cries and shrieks of pain overwhelming the woods, god, what had he done!?

 His poor bones, his eyes couldn't spot a single white speck on them, and they weren't chalky, but grainy like dirt. His neck was indented with Papyrus' very fingertips.. and the back of his skull..  Was a whole new story. Obliterated in every way, with cracks and trenches following the patterns of the wooden supports.

 The red trickled to the snow, staining it with the color. 

 It was warm, and such an awful sight to see.

 It was cold. But Sans felt himself growing colder.

 Sans caught one last horrifying glance of his brother as blood trickled and creeped all across his back, initiating an onslaught of wails caused by the intensity of his fears crashing down. Suddenly, Sans could feel himself crumbling to the ground with nothing but a final whimper and shake before his eyes fluttered shut and closed for good.

 His brother, who gave everything for him. His brother, who stuck with him no matter what. His brother, who always tried better than his best. His brother, who wanted to do good in a world of evil. His brother, who was still just a kid . His brother who was now hanging his head after passing out cold by Papyrus' doing. His poor, poor, little brother.

 Papyrus sunk to the ground, cradling Sans in his chest with an arm across his skull and a hand checking his soul. His voice turned to gasps and whispers, just as Sans would always do when he was scared. He hummed simple comforts, which helped himself out more than it did to an unconscious Sans in the long run.

 All he wanted to do was coddle Sans and spoil him like he deserved, though it was too late now. All he wanted to do was protect his brother, but he failed. 

 He failed the moment Sans got his scars.

 "I'm Sorry, I Really Am, I- I Never Meant For It To Go This Far I'll- I'm Going To Make This Right, I Promise."

 He held still. He didn't want to move, afraid the moment he shivered, Sans would dust right in his hands. So he sat there, brushing back and forth on what was left of his head while purring affirmations right into his ear.

 Sans' soul was brighter and bigger than when he last saw, but damaged to the point where the pattern looked like a road. Few times was he greeted with this sight, and each time was horrifying. But now, his magic was wearing thin, and he could see right through it, the newest tear spitting it in two. But the little space that kept it together was just enough.

 He had just enough time.

 He jumped up, wrapping Sans' legs around his spine, placed Sans' head on his chest, and just ran.

Chapter Text

With her claw inching closer to Undyne's hand, she stared into her eyes with all the love she'd ever had. She was supposed to be watching the best anime ever with her right now, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from that beautiful grin… and her muscles of course. The nudge to her hand when Undyne finally interlocked their pinkies brought Alphys back from space, making her squeal into her other claw and look away immediately. 

 They've been dating for God knows how long, but Alphys could only act like she still was just crushing. It was pretty much unfathomable that Undyne could even reciprocate those lovey-dovey feelings, even more so when considering her rough and tough style.

 Though, maybe, seeing this side of her, there were ways to be soft in a world like her own. She really was caring under all those scars. And hot, but that part wasn't as important.

 The silence broke with Undyne's voice echoed through Alphys' room and lab, "Hey nerd, you good?" Her voice was much sweeter in person, like a candy to the ears that made you forget to speak.

 Alphys pulled her hand away from her face and darted to her direction. Her voice was clearly love stricken and more nervous than usual, which was pretty embarrassing, only making it worse. "O-oh yeah, I- just- uhm- thanks.. for coming over."

 Undyne only snorted and subtly rolled her eyes before leaning over and pulling Alphys close by grabbing her side. She wrapped her fingers in between Alphys' claws to stop the slight shaking. "Well," She whispered into her direction with a smartass tone, "I did say I would make time for ya, punk. Oh and, don't change the subject."

 Alphys paused, unsure of what to say as Undyne did her iconic laugh She crossed her arms, trying to look a little more stern even with her false confidence. It did work in terms of hiding her massive blush. "We-Well I was- I was uhm, just-"

  Ding ding diiiiiing!

 Alphys stutters turned to a grumble the minute her doorbell rang. Her blush, gone. She readjusted her glasses and tugged at her jacket just after she kicked her bean bag chair from beneath her feet. Undyne looked to the door, confused, but also a little angry. Just a moment later, Undyne followed in Alphys footsteps and propped herself just far enough away to be out of sight, but still to be able to snoop.

 "I thought you put up literally everywhere that you were unavailable today?"

 "I did," Alphys grumbled, surprisingly without any stutters, "But I need to answer the door in case it's the king."

 There was a pause while her voice decreased in confidence and volume, turning back to being her normal shy mess. She covered her face as she once again, averted her eyes and turned to the floor. "or if- if it's my m-mew mew kissy cutie fan-made mugs.."

 She pushed the button with her nail after readjusting her look to be once again professional. But as the mechanical whirrs of the door split at the center, each of their faces went dead as they groaned in unison to the revelation of Papyrus' face. He was clutching something at his chest, and he looked pretty desperate, but it drew no sympathy

 Milimeters before Alphys could slam her hand back on the button and stop the door from fully opening, Undyne's eyes focused on the sight of blood trickling down his legs. For some reason, she couldn't help but be concerned for him, as much as she said she hated him.

"Wait."

 And like that, Alphys turned around, a cringe on her face as she rolled her eyes. She stepped out of the way, letting Undyne deal with him.

 She darted her eyes all around him, almost studying how okay he looked despite all the blood. It didn't look like he fought a human, noting the lack of even slight injury but he was pretty serious looking and drenched in sweat. But that could also be from the heat of Hotland. So, either he was getting really good since she trained him herself, or the human gave up their soul, if there even was a human.

 "Whaddya want?" She hissed at him with her arm supporting her lean on the doorframe.

 Papyrus stood for a second, tightening his grip on the thing he was holding, almost like it was the dearest thing to him. He was a little shaken up, obvious by the voice, making for quite the shocker.

 "Undyne, I.. Didn't Think You'd Be Here.."

 She scoffed, now lacking all concern, and regretting her decision to keep the door open. What was she thinking anyway, worrying for a ruthless killer like him?

 "Yeah.. Why would I ever be at my GF's place when she's posted just about everywhere, front door included, that she's not doing work for the day? I wonder."

 She couldn't even stop a laugh slipping through at her own mockery, it was just that stupid, the stupidest thing she'd ever heard.

 "I Need Help With Something," Papyrus divulged with such sincerity, it couldn't ever have been a prank of some sort. Okay, no, this was the stupidest thing she's ever heard. She just had to laugh through her next words. Why would she, or scratch that, anyone help him? She's done it once, and that was enough for five lifetimes.

 "Are ya kidding?" She just had to ask, though she hoped he wouldn't answer, just to get this done faster.

 "Well, It's Not Really For Me, It's For Sans."

 Just those simple words made her drop the laughs and her smile. The most serious expression popped on her face as she could only piece everything together. Papyrus had been holding this thing like a child, his one arm under what ought to be the legs, and his other hand caressing his back, avoiding and flinching away from the back of his head. The blood dripping down and the slight cries from Papyrus, it all came together with a click in her brain. She swiped Sans away from Papyrus' grasp, only to wish she never saw what she did.

 Her heart practically stopped with all adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her eyes shot open with rage and her head jerked up.

 "WHAT DID YOU DO!? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?"

 She immediately pushed Sans into her chest after seeing him like that. Sans' whole skull had been obliterated from back to front, his neck literally blue as her own damn scales, and all those little marks around made him look like a gang member. She couldn't bear to see it, but her eyes just wouldn't look away from the dust running down her fingers and slowly swaying to the floor.

 After Alphys rushed back over to the alarming screech, her eyes made direct contact with Undyne's, which were giving her the one look. Not much could interpret the slightly widened eyes and cringed eyebrows as Undyne's despair, but she definitely could. 

 It was hard trying to know what to feel about it all. It was mesmerizing watching all the blood and dust trickle down such a pale and fragile body, but at the same time, this was her girlfriend's best friend. But it was also a fucking bastard.. But with the trauma in Undyne's eyes, she couldn't say no to helping him, even if she totally still wanted revenge after Sans had left her for whatever reason. He never said why. Why he had to ruin years of friendship and work. 

 With all that sympathy to mask her frustration, she pulled them down the hall to the medical area. She could sense the glares going on behind her back. She never judged though. Papyrus looked dead, and silent. As if he never cared for his brother. And besides, she was totally glaring at and cursing Sans while she walked.

 When she found the room with the right tools, she almost cringed. It was not only dusty and a mess just as Sans had left it, but it held so many memories of them together. She sighed and pointed Undyne over to a sturdy, but probably uncomfortable medical bed.

 "Ju- just lay- just lay him down here.. I'm gonna r-run a check on him first."

 Undyne held him tighter in a surprisingly careful way that really emphasized his tiny size, but seemed to calm her just a bit. After a good minute, Undyne sat him down and slowly brought his head to the table all while being sure his head was on its side to avoid further harm. She stood in silence for a moment with her hand brushing across his arm.

 She had so many regrets now that she was here, looking at him so hurt. If she had just stayed with the little bastard, she could've prevented this. The last she'd seen him for an actual, good hang out was maybe a month before his stupid brother took over her job. And she just let her hate spread to Sans like that? A sympathetic look etched onto her face before disappearing along with her presence in the room.

 It hurt Alphys so, so much to see her girlfriend like this, and she wasn't sure her reassuring smile was doing its job too well with how depressed she was looking as she walked out the door. She could see why when she looked down at Sans. The feeling of petty, hatred, and anger all washed away in the few tears that she shed. Her hand was trembling and her breath was paused without even knowing it.

 After sitting and staring for maybe a good minute, she finally pulled a breath in and wiped her tears with her knuckles. The other presence in the room was a little bothering to feel, yet whenever she looked back at the stranger in the room, his face was blank. He never even looked at her, or Sans, or picked his head up. His arms were crossed, and he looked asleep, maybe fallen down before dusting. 

Magic swirled around her fingers and seeped through her scales from the soul in her chest. The lighting changed the colors in her claw from purple to green and soft blues as a way to show the deep care that went into doing this. Mumbles shoved their way out from deep in her throat to shaking the air around her. The interest of the other skeleton in the corner spiked, making him rise from his chair. Clatters of his boots against the tile silenced her stutters for a moment, which was good for her professionalism, at least. 

"I-I'm running the- the uh.. check now.."

 She pressed her claw onto Sans' chest, allowing the magic to pull his soul through his bones and run a check on him. The results weren't very pleasant, not at all, but crucial. His HP was still going down, and his body was so terribly light, he could already be dead. 0.01. A new record for just how low she's seen. Seemingly a new one for Papyrus too, despite all those he's ended. It was almost impossible to focus. Papyrus' eyes were dead on the 0.8 that cursed his soul and therefore her hands, as if it were new news. Maybe it was new news to him. That was one of Sans' darkest secrets afterall.

 Spell after spell, check after check and bandage after bandage, Sans still struggled to stay at a consistent stability for hours during his current state of unconsciousness. Whether his soul pumped magic too slowly, his bones clattered with pain, or his body became unresponsive to stimuli, it was a struggle just to keep him breathing. But finally, somehow with only a touch of medical knowledge, Sans eyes glowed dimly once more.

 The ringing he grew all too familiar with was the only noise he could hear for a good while. It was almost comforting compared to the screams he was remembering the whole time. He could remember every detail of it perfectly. Odd for someone like him, where months seem to merge together.

The first face that leaned over to him was.. Undyne? The second would be Alphys, forcing him to stay still when he tried to get up. The world seemed dull, and he could barely recognize the room with how tired he felt. It was like gravity had caved in on him, on his chest, and mostly on his head. 

"Sans?"

 He could hear a voice echo in his head, slowly bringing his eyes to look over at Undyne, her face getting a little clearer until he could recognize the room. She looked angry, just about pissed. But yet again, nearly everyone looked at him that way. Normally, he would look past it and move on but.. the room wasn't just any other. It was the lab. His lab. The time he spent his first and last day, the room he learned of other timelines, the reason he had to leave.

"Sans..?"

 The voice begged him once more, and finally he focused his eyes. Undyne laid right on his chest, holding and squashing his entire being with her arms, making him squeak a little.

"hey undyne.."

 His voice was light and a little raspy as he spoke, probably from when Papyrus- His eyes flashed down, just to see exactly what he expected. Papyrus, though the way he looked was a face he'd only seen on himself in the mirror. He could feel a clatter rising in his bones and a pain coursing his chest with every terrified pump. Still, he had to get over that, he had to talk to him. He had to.

"undyne i.."

 She rose, loosening her before sighing and punching at his shoulder with a sigh that could blow him away if he weren't on this bed.

"Sorry, punk. You kinda just gave me three heart attacks."

 Just the small action made him feel a bit better. He had people with him, people that cared. People that stayed despite what he had done to them. Admittedly, abandoning his two best friends never was his intention, it's just the way it went. Seeing that smile on her face gave him a sense of hope, genuine hope. Like his prayers were finally being answered.

 He slipped out a giggle with a small grin stretching on his face, and for once, he felt pretty alive for someone who was just bones. Unlike every other time, this feeling didn't end in an instant. 

 "sorry, didn't mean to make ya seem like a fish outta water.. but i guess ya already are in way."

 Her eyes lit up with joy with tears exploding out of them. Her jaw dropped from the laughter breaking through her body and filling the room. She looked so happy, something he hasn't seen in a good while.

 After just a while, she looked a little upset. The twinge of joy lingered, but he could tell that it wasn't staying for long, no matter how much he held onto it.

 "Look.. Sans, I.."

 Her eyes fell into his gaze before making a slow travel down his arm and eventually closing. The pressure on his arm became greater, making him feel like a twig about to snap. He cringed at the subtle burns of his cuts as the bandages and cloth worked together to rub against them.

"As much as I hate your brother, and I hate what he's done.. I don't really know what happens in your home life.. I thought I did, I thought that I.."

 She struggled to bring up her thoughts, and at the moment, she really felt like she was reading off a script. But, this had to be said, especially after all that papyrus said, what Alphys said. To say the least, this situation she found herself in was a lot more than she knew.

 "I-I thought that I could involve myself, I thought I knew what was going on, but.. I didn't. If I knew what I know now, I wouldn't have gone so far as to abandon you and Paps. So.. I want to make it up to you."

 Sans fiddled with his hoodie strings to distract himself from the tightness in chest. He tried to be subtle with the gazes he gave his brother when Undyne was talking, but with that smile, it didn't seem to work too well.

 "For once in my life," Undyne's voice chimed back in, grabbing his attention instantly, "I'm going to let you guys do you, no complaining or stopping it."

 For a second there, he felt a shiver crawl down his spine. Honestly, he didn't like the idea too much, considering that, even after whatever amount of time,the only thing he remembered was pound after pound after pound after pound after pound after -

 Undyne must've read whatever contorted facial expression he had come up with as a response, because she immediately started waving her hands as if to bring him back from his thoughts.

 "No, no, no, don't worry about it, Paps agreed to take some sort of.. Anti-LV agent. Alphys said she had been working on it for a while, but she stopped. She never said why, but whatever progress was made was enough to deter effects for a while."

  Sans sighed. He looked at Alphys. She curved her mouth up, not a smile. He could tell when she smiled, and this was just one of those nervous tics she did. He looked over to Undyne and gave her a big grin, one to sort of mock her style.

 Undyne nodded and got up from the chair she brought over. Just a second before she turned away, Sans grabbed her hand, slipping her fingers in his.

 "undyne.. i can't thank you enough. you're an awesome friend."

 And just like that, she thanked him back, and slid from his grasp. Now, his attention was on Papyrus again. The previous comforts and reassurance didn't help much with his anxiety now, but a good push into conversation. 

 Their eyes locked for a minute or so. What was there to say? What wasn't there to say? They never had conversations like this, but now they had no choice. Especially when Papyrus had that look. Guit, Sorrow, Anger, maybe a little love instead of LOVE?

 Well this sure wasn't like the movies where they start sobbing sorrows into each other's shoulders.

 "boss?" Sans found himself speaking first. Admittedly, it was hard due to the sudden tears storming his eyes and the ball welling up in his throat. He continued to croak his words out, confusion and despair filling his brain and pouring from his words."what happened to us?"

 Papyrus almost opened his jaw to speak, but he could only huff a bit of air before Sans started up again. Suddenly, every memory played through both their minds. The words swam through the rivers of cries like nothing.

 "when did we become this.. mess? what happened to actually being brothers? why is it all falling apart right in front of us?"

   Papyrus was sitting coloring.. watching TV? It was hard to remember exactly what happened, but it totally had something to do with being a royal guard. They were pretty much the second most important people in the world. Second most because of course, no one could beat the king's greatness. Either way, they were awesome, and that is most definitely what he wants to be when he's older. 

 A sudden bash at the front door slammed it open, but instead of seeing his father rush up to his office in an instant, He was being glared down at. Suddenly, he was pulled onto his feet, and his father was on his knees, putting them both at his unusually small height.

 "Papyrus, I have some news for you."

 News? Well most of the time news was for the adults, sure he never listened to that rule.. but that rule was stupid. They said there was too much violins, which had two things wrong with it. The first being that it would be 'too many' not 'too much' and the second being that violins are beautiful and had nothing to do with adults or bad things.

 Either way, he was real excited to be an adult for once.

 "Remember Sans?"

 Oh yeah, Sans. The baby. They didn't know what to call him for a while, and all he knew was that one, it meant he was a big brother, whatever that was, two, he had some really weird pictures that weren't even colored, and three, he was somewhere in his moma's soul.

 "Yeah.. I know who Sans is popi."

 "Good.. well.. Would you like to see him?"

 Well, he's seen Sans plenty of times. But he couldn't really say no. It was a baby, he didn't want to be mean to a baby! So, just as the other like 5 times, he nodded.

 The weird part was that.. Instead of going in his wallet, he started messing with some blanket he had on his chest. The next thing he knew, some big eyes were staring up at him. They were almost indescribable. But.. he looked up at his dad. surely, this wasn't Sans.. right? 

 "Popi.. are you joking with me? I know it's April Fool's!"

 His father started to laugh a little before he sighed and shook his head. He looked him in the eye with a big smile.

 "No son. I am not. Sans is here, your little brother is here."

 Almost with an instinct, he held his arms out. He expected him to basically fall from his arms, but the only weight was in his chest.So this is what it meant to be a big brother.. noted. He looked at those big eyes, his tiny hands, and even felt that fast soul. Tears pricked his eyes as he held Sans to his chest and whined.

 "I'm gonna be the best big brother ever!"

I'm gonna be the best big brother ever.

 Those words replayed in Papyrus' head over and over. It was as if it were teasing him, using his failure as his Achilles heel.

 The more he thought of memories that followed his meaning, the more he realized his parents weren't as great as he remembered. Such amazing memories he had with them had always gone cold after he thought about what happened to Sans in them.

 Papyrus was basically his everything. His real parent if you will. He fed him, played with him, put him to bed, dressed him, bathed him, done everything that his parents wouldn't. Hell, as soon as he offered to take Sans in his arms for the first time, his father sat down on the couch with his mother. Not to console her or rest with her, but to drink like five shots of vodka.

 As they got older, Sans got a little more stronger, and therefore his parents were a tad more considerate. Of course, that wasn't ever enough. They wanted his HP to go up, for Sans to be like him.

 Sans would always get whatever was left after everyone else already took more than what they were going to eat. Sometimes, Papyrus would leave him with a decent proportion when Sans became sickly or when he was simply less hungry. Other times, especially when he felt like teasing him or got angry at him, he'd purposely take all the food just to look him dead in the eyes as he threw his leftovers away. He was just a kid, how could he have known how horrible it was to do that to a four year old?

 Often, they'd have family outings. Most of the time, Sans would be left at home, defenseless and unaware of where they were. That was terrible in itself, but he just felt all the more guilty remembering the times they went camping for a week, the times they would be out of the house all day for a picnic.

 They'd have family photos taken professionally, but only once or twice was Sans included, yet only 1 of those 10 copies was Sans' head not cut off the picture or blacked out.

 Papyrus went to a private school, Sans went to a low level public school. Sans had to wake up 5 am everyday to help their father do papers, to clean the house and do the dishes, get out Papyrus' uniform, prepare his bag and make him his cereal, leaving him with just 10 minutes to rush around to get ready.

 Whenever his birthday or gyftmas came around, he'd get all the gifts while Sans watched. One memory that was forever burned into his mind was Sans' nine year old birthday. That year, They celebrated his birthday for the first time ever. Sans was never happier than that day. He was sobbing just because he could finally blow out a candle. 

 It all tied into each other really. The constant neglect of Sans turned to taking him to that horrid park that gave him that scar. He felt really guilty that day, he didn't even know how to heal him. He could do small things, but definitely not that. When Sans' birthday came around, that whole thing happened, though it was pretty obvious it was just to make Papyrus stop ignoring his parents. 

 Just three months later, some people from the same gang as the ones he killed, attacked his parents. He hated his parents so much for what they did, but that little part of him that still treasured those fake memories, missed them so much. That combined with his LV made him snap.

  "I- don't you understand!?" He cringed, how long was he lost in thought? He needs to shake this off like always, it's not the time for those horrible memories, "It's your fault Sans, YOURS!"

"papy, whath- i'm ss- sorry, i don'th know whath i did-" 

 "Shut up, just shut the hell up. You, if you, if you were just- IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A FUCKING BRAT, POPI, MOMA, THEY'D BE HERE, OKAY!?" His hands were trembling and tightening at Sans' shirt. His feet were struggling to stay grounded, but this feeling, it was.. too much. He looked into his eyes, but all he saw was hate, rage, disgust.. despair. "YOU, THEY DIED BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU WERE SO WEAK, SO FUCKING WEAK, I TRIED TO HELP YOU BUT, BUT I GUESS YOU'RE HELPLESS- HAH- I"

 Sans was shaking. Man, such a pathetic crybaby. His soul hurt, why? He shoved him into the wall so they were face to face. 

 "i didnth mean thoo.. i'm sowry- i wath twing tho help-"

 He couldn't understand half the words that this boy was saying. But it was probably bullcrap anyway. Even though he did nothing wrong? Nothing but be born into a fucking world that sends him to die? "IF ONLY I COULD SEE THE TRUTH BACK THEN, YOURE NOTHING BUT A FUCKING ATTENTION SEEKER! A LIAR! IF YOU- YOU JUST TURNED INTO THE WORTHLESS EXP YOU ARE- THEY- THEY WOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE!"

One second, he was looking at his little brother crying, the next, he found his fist in a pool of blood with a tooth laying on the floor. He dropped Sans to the floor and took a few slow steps back. Why didn't you help him? He ran to his room, he can't come out until this feeling goes away, at this rate, he'll kill him like-

"When did this go wrong?"

"Life's unfair.. that's just how it goes.."

 Yet again, he found himself answering the same question.

"That's just how it goes.."

 He glanced up at the clock. It was only two minutes. But it's been eleven years since he's gotten a good look at Sans. And still, the glimmer of hope was nowhere to be seen. For once, he was the one shaking. He was the one with a tear on his cheek. He was seeing himself in Sans.

 Sans almost exploded in tears, he couldn't really hide it while he was here, and he couldn't take it anymore anyway.

"bu- but i don't want it to go that way! why does it hafta go that way!?" 

 He kept rubbing his eyes, as if that would help with his tears. What he didn't expect was a set of hands helping him. He took a pause in his panting and looked over at Papyrus. He felt a drop of warmth in his body. It slowly spread across his limbs until he was pulling Papyrus' hand closer to his cheek by the wrist.

 Papyrus covered a smirk up with his free hand. "I'm- mwahaha- I'm not going anywhere, Sans. You don't need to hold me so close." 

 Of course the warm feeling just had to reach his cheeks. Sans only clenched his arm tighter.

"shut up!"

 Papyrus turned back to the machine behind him. He didn't understand it as well as Alphys seemed to, but he saw something similar in the basement back when Sans worked with her. It was much simpler to understand after a good look. It read a magic's stability, and now, Sans was finally stable.

 So, with a gentle yet quick swoop, he unhooked Sans and took him into his arms. Sans pulled his arms all around him as if to keep him close forever. He was crying all over again, but with his soul thumping so fast, he could tell it was from joy. 

"Out comes the inner koala."

 Papyrus took a huge breath and sighed with five tons of sarcasm. He couldn't stop the smile that was refusing to leave his face. Maybe it didn't have to crash and burn because of Papyrus' LV. It was like he'd seen life in a new light with just a few minutes of seeing how similar they were. He pat Sans' back, just as always, but with joy in it. It was better when he knew the other could feel it.

"Sans.. You are the most amazing brother in the universe, I hope you know."

 Sans picked his head up, looking at him with his sockets as red as ever. He gave Papyrus a pout, but it was more endearing than anything.

 "i'm the only brother you've had.. how would you know that?"

 Oh, well, now, he had an idea. An amazing idea.

 "Well, let's see.. you're kind, sweet, funny, selfless, you always work your ass off more than anyone else, your fucking adorable, aaaand.. oh yeah, very, very smart."

 He buried his face right back into Papyrus' shoulder. Plan, success. 

 you're just flattering me!"

"Doesn't make it any less true."

 Sans grumbled at him before giving Papyrus a light backhanded smack to the face. 

 "well, let's just go.. if we're gonna talk, i wanna talk when i'm sure Alphys isn't snooping in on us for her writing ideas.."

Papyrus laughed at the comment before he started to walk out.

 "put me down first! they're gonna tease me 'bout this for ages if they see us like this! "

 "They already saw you, how do you think we got here?"

"okay, but i was unconscious and probably covered in blood."

"Deal with it," Papyrus snickered, carrying Sans out as he threw his arms around. Of course, when they came out, Undyne and Alphys especially were adoring him like a child. His face felt like embers as he glared at them.

 "okay, okay, put me down now! i wanna talk to Alph!"

 Papyrus put him down finally, still with that teasing smile on. But when he blinked, Sans had already dragged Alphys into the room, leaving him awkwardly standing with Undyne. Well.. now or never.

 "Undyne?"

 He looked up at her, a twinge of totally not anxiety making him fiddle with a loose thread on his scarf. He looked back down, seeing her cold, avoidant look and drew out a long sigh. Not for too long though, because the rest of it was already squashed out of him by some very large muscles.

"Paps, I'm so sorry! I-"

 Papyrus hissed at her, how dare she take the blame!? He looked at her with a cringe and basically shouted at her.

 "No, it's my fault! I'm the one who let my anger take over me!"

 She pulled back and smiled. Wow, Papyrus was so much better than what her mind led her to believe. 

 "Okay fine, whatever. But still. I assumed some pretty awful things about you and Sans.. I should've stayed but.. I guess at the time I was too petty about you winning to stay by and help. Besides, that demotion was totally deserved, as much as I hate ya for it. I was way over my head. I kinda abused that power."

 ".. We're both very shitty friends then.. I think."

"Let's start over. I miss my best bud!"

 Papyrus stuck out a hand and nodded to it. He had a winning smile on.

"You still got it?"

 She slammed her hand to his, and despite their time apart, remembered every little detail about their handshake. Afterwards, they started to break down in laughter before Papyrus finally smiled and answered his own question.

"Still got it."

Alphys was totally nervous. Talking to him, after all this time? Was he insane? Or maybe she was insane? Wait no, she already knew that last part was true. There was no questioning that.

"alph?"

Alphys came back from her train of thought. She jumped up before tugging at her jacket and correcting her voice.

 "Y-yes Sans? W-w-what were you wanting to talk to me about?"

 A silence filled the room before Sans walked up to her and gave her a tight hug. It was subtle, but it did calm her.. a lot. She could barely believe she let herself hate someone like him for a second. Sans didn't even let go to speak.

 "i.. you were the best alph. the best teacher, boss, work partner..you're amazing. i'm sorry i didn't stay. you already know this but.. when you hired me as an assistant, i was only 14. my life before that was pretty much hell."

 He pulled away and looked at her. He gave her a second to speak, but she didn't take it. This felt so sudden, even with such a big buildup.

 "i guess.. i'm saying thank you in a way. for everything. because the minute you hired me.. my life turned around. for the five years i worked here, i felt so happy just to get up in the morning. it wasn't all great, but you.. were a good motivation of mine. hell, you helped me get rid of that cursed lisp. you got me birthday gifts.. something i never i had the privilege of getting before you. alphys i.."

 He looked down, then looked into her eyes, he looked scared, but also, in some sort of way, happy.

 "why did you keep my anti-LV agent?"

 Oh.. yeah that. Of course that's what he wanted to talk about, he gave her the "i want to talk look" that she was supposed to automatically know from day one.

 "I.. well.. I was honestly hoping you'd come back.. Which is kinda creepy c-considering you're five y-years younger than me b-but.. you.. I felt.. important in a way.. being with you m-made me realize that.. maybe I wasn't as much a failure as I thought I was.. I work- I worked on it for a while.. but a good four months after.. I gave up."

 The look he gave her dispersed. Even if he knew it wasn't his fault.. he.. just kinda left her in the mud, didn't he..

 "i.. i had to leave.. the king.. threatened my life, he found out.. though.. i could've said goodbye.. i'm sorry.."

 Alphys pulled him back into the hug. That damned king always ruins everyone's lives.

 "when i was.. testing the agent.. i needed a subject.. i was making it for my bro, since he hated having LV.. but i didn't want it to hurt him.. so.. i took some LV samples and put them in my system.. that's why you found me on the floor that one day. ever since then.. i've had LV cravings.. i fucking set my bro off.. i do a buncha shit i'd rather not.. of course, when they did the usual sentry check, they saw that, and.. they need a record of everyone a guard has killed.. but i obviously hadden killed anyone.. so.. they said i had to destroy my work.. that was too much for me.. so i just left.."

 Alphys shushed him. He was way shorter than she remembered.. different in many ways than she remembered. Time definitely warped her memories.

 "That's okay. We're almost to the surface, I can feel it. Then, we can work on it, give it to you and your brother. Maybe a lot of people actually. Now let's go, I don't want those two fighting."

 Despite that, they spent a good five minutes returning to the two, filling that time with memories. The last thing they thought they would see was the two dancing around and laughing.Papyrus spoke in a much less rough tone, he sounded.. joyful.

 "Still got it."

 They all faced each other once more, and the room felt lighthearted. Everything they held with them had gone. Sans jumped up, putting the cheery face he used to have back on and hugged both Undyne and Papyrus. Not long after Alphys shyly joined their group hug did Papyrus realize something about Sans; the glimmer was back

Chapter Text

 Real stars had so much more personality. Some were bright, some were dim. One could look bigger than another. Some were far off from the others, meanwhile, there were big clusters of them too. And there weren't just stars . There were satellites, there were planets, meteors, asteroids, comets, and moons. Earth's moon was the closest, obviously. 

 It was pretty dizzying looking up at such an inky, black void, but that was a price to pay. All of it was so much better than cheap science books which occasionally found themself in the dump. So, so much better. 

 With a soft breeze tugging at his clothes and grass - real grass - pricking him from behind, there was no doubt in his mind that this was the most beautiful thing he'll ever see.

"Well. I Said It Was A Promise."

 Sans looked over at Papyrus with a playful glare. That picnic held bad memories, but there was a lot of good about it. Like how he knew deep down, this promise would come true. And to say the least, with the thing he loved most finally in sight, it was pretty obvious that it was right.

"oh c'mon, i never doubted that."

"Not Verbally, May I Correct You."

 Sans snorted just a tad before gazing up into the night sky once more. His smile was dimmer. He wasn't too proud of that. For a moment, everything felt fake again. Like the sky was just gone, growing distant as if it were a far away dream. He couldn't focus on anything but the place his eyes drifted their gaze to.

 Papyrus. Except.. When he looked over, he could only see the mixed faces of sinister grins and disgusted frowns looking back at him. His eyelights shrunk to the sight, this just couldn't be happening. That was two months ago, a lot of things have changed. They're free. Free from the underground, free from the violence, why was it that everytime he looked at his brother, he still only saw the LV? That was gone for the most part, minus the few occasional threats, yells, or a rare hit. 

 So why, why was his soul throwing pain after pain into his chest, and just why was he trembling!? The noises played on repeat in skull, the pounding, the thrashing, the screams, his OWN screams. He didn't want the ringing back, he wanted it gone, gone like it had been for the last two months! Why now? Why HERE!? Why could he feel blood pooling at the back of his head when it wasn't there, Why were his bones aching from bruises that were gone, WHY was everything back in hell!?

 Sans wanted to bash his head against the ground so hard, but he couldn't. He couldn't let himself get hurt again. He grabbed at the hand slowly reaching for his shoulder, twisting it between his fingers with ease.

 "don't ever FUCKING touch me, worthless bitch."

 He couldn't see past the bright, raging colors in his eyes until he looked down at the small hand and the skin that was reddening to his hold. Skin? Usually he'd imagine Papy- He snapped his hand away and backed up. He looked up to see nothing but the kid who'd helped them more than they ever should have. Holy fuck, his hallucinations were usually just that, not this!

 He sat up, pulling them in tight with a shameful sob slipping through him with ease. 

 "kid, i'm sorry i didn't mean tah- your not a bitch, you're not worthless, ignore what i said okay? i don't know why i did that-"

 A hug from both sides trapped him in warmth, bringing him back to the stars and away from the cold memories. Sans looked down, ruffling the kid's hair as his other hand gripped them tighter. His jaw was still tight, and he still felt his entire body shaking, but he could breathe. He could think of something other than his past.

 It was his past now. Nothing other than a memory, and even as he struggled, his siblings were there. He could barely grasp the concept of why they would want to, but they were. And nothing would change that.

 He took the warmth in, cherishing it and relaxing. With one hand around the kid, the other around Papyrus, he felt loved.

 He looked to the sky with a smile. His wishes smiled back.