Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Logan didn’t notice that his room was shrinking. It’s easy to miss a few inches, but now it’s noticeable. A few feet were missing in a room that was supposed to be 20 feet square. Logan could no longer deny that something was wrong.

Though, being the logical side, Logan knew exactly what was happening. He is being phased out. After the latest video, where he was ignored and pushed aside by Patton, Roman, and Janus. To Thomas once again ignoring him to pursue Nico instead. It’s only logical that Thomas’ subconscious finally takes the hint and decides that Logan isn’t needed anymore. 

Logan should be scared or angry at this, but he isn’t much for emotional outbursts. Or at least he tries not to. No, there is no reason to get upset over something so logical. People change and grow into different needs and wants. Thomas doesn’t want Logan anymore. 

It doesn’t hurt.

It does.

Logan knows he’s on limited time. He personally doesn’t know how the others will survive without him. He’s the only one who knows first-aid for when Roman gets hurt. He’s the one who deals with Remus the most to assure the others that Remus isn’t the threat they all believe him to be for the most part. Logan is the one that Virgil goes to for calm reassurances. 

When Logan isn’t here, someone else has to fill in that. Logan makes a list of things to do before he “dies.”

Logan’s to-do list

• Teach Patton first-aid (Patton is the best choice as Virgil isn’t comfortable dealing with blood.)

• Give Virgil all the resources to deal with anxiety I can find (maybe also give a copy to Patton and Janus.)

• Come up with a schedule that best balances Roman and my wants. (It might be my only shot at getting him to follow it.)

Logan looks at his list. It’s a good start, and he has no time to waste. Logan decides to start with Patton. First-aid will take a bit to learn, giving Patton time to practice and ask questions while Logan is still here to answer them. 

Logan grabs his medic bag and walks down the hall to Patton’s room. He gives a hard knock on the blue-colored wood. 

Patton opens the door with a bright smile at seeing Logan. “Logan! Hey, kiddo. What can I do for you?” He spots the bag as Logan moves to hold it up.

“I find it beneficial that more than one side knows first-aid for whenever a time comes that I’m not currently available,” or ever available again. Logan keeps his face in his usual professional neutralism. 

Patton’s smile doesn’t falter at the strange request. Sure, it’s a little weird that Logan now wants someone else to have the job he was happy to perform for all these years, but he makes a good point. It never hurts having two doctors in the house. Besides, Patton is just happy that someone is still talking to him after the latest episode stirring the pot. “Sure, Lo. Come on in.”

…

Logan sits at his computer. His room is now 12 by 12. Logan has turned his normally queen-size bed into a twin-size bed to give himself more floor space. First-aid with Patton has been going well, despite the constant medical puns Patton insists on making at any given time. 

Now, it’s time to focus on Virgil. Something is clearly bothering him, and Logan will fix it before he leaves. The anxious side hasn’t left his room in 2 weeks, 3 days, 4 hours, and 37 minutes. 

Logan picks up his folder full of articles he finds beneficial to Virgil, goes to Virgil’s room, and knocks. He doesn’t get an answer, though that’s not uncommon with Virgil. Either he’s in the middle of an anxiety spiral, has headphones on, or both. Either way, if Virgil doesn’t respond to his call, Logan cracks open the door enough to see in, as he and Virgil have agreed to. 

Logan finds Virgil sitting on his bed, staring at a wall. The room is dark, and the purple mood lights that run along the ceiling are off. Interesting, Virgil usually keeps them on, even when he’s asleep. 

Logan walks into the room. “Virgil, are you alright?” 

Virgil blinks and looks over. “Oh, Logan.” He turns his gaze back to the wall.

Logan slowly sits on the bed. “Virgil, is something wrong?”

Virgil doesn’t answer for a long moment. Either he’s thinking about how to respond, or he would rather not answer. 

Logan would be more patient with him if he weren’t on a deadline to get things done. If Virgil isn’t ready to talk, that’s fine. At least Logan can give him the resources for when he needs them. Logan sets the folder down on the nightstand. “I believe these articles will help with any anxiety or panic attacks you experience in the future. I have found articles about meditation, aromatherapy, exercise, and music. I’m sure Roman can summon any items you desire.”

Virgil looks at Logan with knit brows. It’s not Logan’s standard approach to helping Virgil. Nether is just walking away with one shoulder pat. Virgil watches Logan get up and leave without another word. He looks down at the folder. Virgil is going to have to turn on the lights to read this.

…

Logan knocks on Roman’s door. Working with Roman is one of the more dreadful parts of his job. If they could work together, they could make something great. But working with Roman is a headache most of the time because the stubborn fool won’t listen to reason and just runs off to do whatever he wants. 

But this is important. They have to get on the “same page,” as they say, about the schedule, or else Thomas won’t get anything done. 

The door opens as Roman gives his best wide, shiny white teeth smile. “Well, hello, our source of all things nerdy.”

Logan regrets knocking on the door. For Thomas , Logan reminds himself. “Good afternoon, Roman. Are you busy? I would like to talk to you about a new schedule—”

The moment Logan mentions “schedule,” Roman groans. “You and your strict schedules. Uh, as it turns out, I am busy.” He tries to close the door.

Logan puts his hand on the door and stops Roman from closing it. Usually, Logan wouldn’t be this aggressive, but he doesn’t have time for Roman’s dramatics. “This is important. Please.” The “please” comes out softer than Logan wanted, almost like a plea or beg. 

Lucky for Logan, it’s the soft tone that gives Roman pause. Truth be told, Roman isn’t busy. He just didn’t want to work on another schedule that goes nowhere. While he describes his relationship with his brother as looking in a funhouse mirror, his relationship with Logan is like two sides of the same coin. 

Logan is strict and orderly. Roman is flexible and sporadic. Logan is like a rock, and Roman is like the waves. Roman moves when he wants. He can’t follow strict rules because that’s not how creativity works. And that is something a person like Logan will never understand. 

But it’s the soft tone that gives Roman pause. Something in Logan’s eyes that tells him something more is going on. Something that Logan is clearly hiding behind his stoic demeanor, but as they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. “Alright, Calendar. I guess I can make time for you.”

“Thank you.” Logan enters Roman’s room. He summons his calendar. “We need to come together to make a scheduling formula.”

Roman drapes himself over his plush couch. “What’s the point? We have never agreed in the past.”

“The point is, hopefully, we can come to an agreement. Now, this formula has to consider the recommendation requirements for a healthy person to have.”

Roman groans.

“8 hours of sleep. 6 small meals spread throughout the day. Healthy foods, at that. House maintenance, work—” 

“Yes, yes, yes. All the boring things.” Roman throws his arms around. “We have been over this. Do you want me to pull out the video where we talked about this topic?”

Logan holds himself straight. “It always helps to have a reminder. Especially when you don’t grasp the concept.”

“Oh, I grasp the concept. I just don’t care.”

Logan takes a deep breath. Of course, he doesn’t care . “Well, what do you care about?”

Roman smiles. “Now we’re talking.” He hops up to his feet. “Let me show you.” He grabs Logan’s hand and drags him to a door.

“Roman, wait—”

Roman throws the door open, and he drags Logan into the Imagination. 

“Roman, you know I don’t like being in the Imagination.”

“Oh, hush, dream killer. We won’t be here long.”

The sections of the mind where Thomas’ aspects are their strongest are called their domains. Or “rooms” for when talked about it in videos. And, of course, certain domains have adverse effects on the others, like how none of them could handle spending too much time in Virgil’s domain. Or Virgil didn’t do well in Patton’s domain. Equally enough, Logan doesn’t do well in the Imagination. 

The Imagination lacks logical or rational thinking. Which is what Logan is. So, being here for too long weakens Logan’s senses and frustrates him. And if Logan spends a really long time here, he starts to lose track of what is real or not as his mind tries to follow the “logic” of the land. They learned that the hard way.

Roman waves his hands around, and a scene starts to take form. A movie studio appears. People walk around getting ready for the next shoot. Roman gestures at it. “This is what I care about. Getting Thomas here.”

“Thomas Sanders to the stage,” the director calls out.

An imaginary Thomas walks up to the fake living room. Another imaginary actor walks into the set.

Logan points at the man. “Is that Chris Evans?”

Roman swoons. “Yes.” He clears his throat. “But don’t you see? This is what is important. Thomas reaching his dreams of becoming a professional actor. Being a star. Where in any of your schedules do you ever make time for Thomas becoming a star?”

“It takes time, Roman. He needs to go to auditions. Land roles and expand his portfolio.”

“And when does he have the time to do that?” Roman points at Logan’s calendar. “Where?”

Logan looks down at it. He needs to make something that Roman would want to follow if they are going to have any form of structure. Being the focus on Thomas’ hopes and dreams, it’s only rational that this is Roman’s priority. Roman will only shut him down if Logan tries to argue for his point. Logan will have to rely on Janus to make sure Thomas practices self-care. “I guess I can make more room for dream chasing. It would probably also help if Thomas took some more classes. You can never go wrong with expanding your knowledge.”

Roman beams and claps his hands. “Now you’re getting it.” He opens the door to his room and enters. He smirks at Logan as he comes across. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

Logan crosses the border of the Imagination and Roman’s bedroom. The world tills on Logan, and he loses his balance for a moment, slamming his body against a bookcase. 

Roman flinches and puts his hands up to help balance Logan. “Woah, are you okay?”

Logan holds his head as he waits for the room to stop spinning. “I’m okay. I’m just tired.”

“Did you not get the proper amount of sleep last night?” Roman jokes. That would be very hypocritical of the logical side.

“I guess not. Please, excuse me.” Logan pulls away from Roman and goes back to his room. He closes his eyes for a moment. “I’m running out of time. Please, I just need a little more time.”

…

Logan’s room is now too small for him to use. It’s 6 by 6 feet. At that point, Logan took his laptop, locked his room so no one could enter, and moved to the commons. Luckily, the current feud between the other sides keeps them in their rooms for most of the day.

Logan is peacefully typing on his laptop. He is working on the perfect schedule he can come up with. That is, until a specific green side swipes it away from Logan.

Remus grins at Logan. “Sup, dork.”

Logan looks up at Remus, unamused. “Remus, I don’t have time for this.”

“Sure you do. I’m sure whatever boring thing you are working on is very important or whatever,” Remus continues to grin. “Now, let’s play.” 

Logan watches Remus run to the other side of the commons, waving his laptop around. Remus acts like a child. Logan honestly doesn’t understand how the others see him as a threat. 

This behavior is typical for Remus. Coming in, taking his work, and forcing Logan to chase him in a game of keep away. Logan finds it childish, but playing along is the fastest way of getting him to stop. If Logan tries to ignore him or demands the item back, Remus doubles down and makes the game harder. 

Essentially, Remus is bored and wants to have fun with one of the only two sides that don’t scream at his mere presence. Some days, Logan is sure Remus likes it when they scream, and going after Logan is just his way of seeing how far he can push Logan before he lashes out. 

Today, Logan doesn’t have time for games. Not when his time is running out. So he quickly gets up and chases around the commons to get his laptop back. 

Remus crackles as he runs around. He drops legos and marbles around the floor to trip Logan up. 

Logan prides himself on his spatial awareness and fast reflexes. Not as fast as Virgil, of course, but still impressive. Sadly, today isn’t his lucky day. Logan’s vision blurs as the world tilts on him, and his ears begin to ring. He slips on the marbles and falls to the floor. Lego bricks press into his arms.

Remus cheers and laughs at Logan. “Got you! You fell harder than a suicide jumper into a pool of sharks that tear you apart limb by bloody limb.”

Logan doesn’t respond as he focuses on his slowly returning senses. Exhaustion hits him like a figurative tidal wave. Logan becomes aware that his time is getting shorter, and he hasn’t finished everything he needs to get done. 

Remus’ cheer quickly stops as he watches Logan, not moving to get up and continue their game. “Hey, Detective Snooze, you still alive?”

Logan finally sits up and holds his head. “For now,” he mumbles, but Remus catches it.

“You good, Specs?” It’s an odd choice of words from the nerd. Logan doesn’t joke, so for him to say that means Logan expects to die soon. What? Does Logan think Remus is going to kill him? That would be fun, but Janus would be disappointed in him, and Remus can’t have that. 

It’s not like Remus actually cares, but he can’t go losing his favorite victim. However, Remus also likes to call him a lab partner when he can get Logan curious enough about an experiment to play mad doctor with him. 

“Give me my laptop, Remus,” Logan says sternly. He can’t play Remus’ games. Not when he’s fighting off exhaustion. Logan will admit that he doesn’t know if he will wake up if he falls asleep. Or how long he will sleep. The schedule must be finished. 

“I’m not done playing. What? Did Mr. Perfect Sleep Schedule forget to sleep or something?” Remus notices how pale and exhausted the brain side is. 

“I’m serious. Go bother Roman.” 

Usually, Remus would keep fighting to get his way, but he has never seen Logan beg at him before, still on his hands and knees. His arms are shaking slightly like they can’t support his weight. Logan knows better than to brush Remus off. So, because Remus feels nice (not concerned. Don’t be crazy), he hands Logan his laptop. “Whatever, enjoy the floor, Doc. Pissy is probably more fun anyway.” 

Logan watches Remus sink out and pulls himself to his feet. His head feels like it has figuratively been submerged in water. Logan stumbles back to the couch and collapses on it. He drops his laptop onto the floor as his eyes slam shut. It looks like Logan doesn’t have a choice here. He just hopes he can wake up in time to finish his work. 

Chapter Text

Virgil stands before a yellow-painted door with his hands in his jacket pocket. It’s not like he wants to see the snake side, but something is off about Logan, like how he’s been camping on the couch for the past couple of days. And the folder, though helpful, was a lot of information to throw at Virgil at once, then leave like he had better places to be.

So, no, he’s not happy about asking the snake for help, but he can stomach it for the other’s sake. He gives a hard knock on the door. “Open up, snake.”

The door opens to reveal a smug-looking Janus. “Well, hello to you too.”

“Something is up with Logan. What do you know?”

Janus puts a hand on his chest. “Ah. Do tell, why do you think I know anything about our fellow nerd?”

Virgil crosses his arms, staring the man down. “Because it’s you, and you know everything.”

Janus smirks and gives a little laugh. “Oh Virgil, it’s so good to see you acknowledge my intelligence—”

Virgil hisses at him.

“—But I absolutely know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh really? So Logan hasn’t been acting strange to you?”

“Well, I assume you would be a better judge of that than me. Aren’t you two friends?”

Virgil bares his fangs at Janus. He doesn’t have time for this bullshit. “Look, I need to get into Logan’s room, but the door is locked, and I know you have a key to everyone’s doors. Don’t lie to me; I know you do.”

“Oh, you want to break and enter into Logan’s room? How so very evil of you to do, light side.”

That strikes a nerve in Virgil, and he’s quickly starting to lose his patience with the snake. “Are you going to help me or not?”

“Of course.” Janus steps out of his room and closes his door. “I just love pulling your tail.”

Virgil growls at Janus as they walk down the hall to Logan’s door. “You are the worst.”

Janus tsks, “Someone has to be, or who else would you blame when things go wrong?” With a flick of his wrist, Janus summons a key and unlocks the door. He smirks at Virgil and bows. “After you.”

Virgil rolls his eyes and shoves Janus out of the way before opening the door. 

They both blink in confusion when they see the tiny room. The ceiling covers a third of the doorway. You might as well crawl on your hands and knees if you wanted in.

“What the hell?” 

Janus frowns in deep thought as Virgil tries to understand what he sees.

“Why is his room so small?” Virgil turns to face Janus. “Why is his room so small?”

Janus looks down at Virgil, answering his question with another question. “Where is Logan?”

Virgil books it downstairs, where he believes Logan to be. He finds Logan unconscious on the couch, his laptop opened on its side on the floor. Panic rises in Virgil’s chest. Alarm bells ring in his head, telling him something is terribly wrong.

Virgil grabs Logan’s shoulders and shakes him. “Wake up. Wake up,” Virgil’s distorted voice rings out, but Logan remains asleep. Or is he dead?

“You’re not going to wake him like that.”

Virgil snaps his head up at Janus coming down the stairs. If Virgil hadn’t known Janus for as long as he did, he would have thought Janus was uninterested in what was happening, but Virgil knows better. Janus is scared, and that’s never a good sign. “What is wrong with him?”

“I’ll let the man speak for himself, but right now, Logan is low on energy. Get Thomas to do something that would require Logan’s field. Like taxes.”

Virgil makes a sour face. “We hate doing taxes.”

Janus raises a brow at Virgil. “Do you want to help Logan or not?”

Virgil sinks out to order Thomas around. 

Janus walks over to the couch and looks down at the sleeping logical side. He puts a gloved hand into Logan’s hair and massages his head. The mind warns Janus; it tells him Logan’s fate if they don’t stop it. 

After a few minutes, Logan sits up awake. “I need to help Thomas with his taxes.”

Janus quickly puts a hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Relax, taxes can wait.”

Logan looks at Janus, fixing his glasses. “What can possibly be more important than helping Thomas with his finances?”

Virgil rises and grabs Logan’s shoulders. “What’s wrong with you? Why is your room small? Are you going to die?”

“That,” Janus simply answers Logan’s question.

Logan looks between the two sides. He knew that eventually, he would need to “break the news” —as one would say— to the others. Looking at Janus, he seems unbothered; he probably already knows what is going on. Looking at Virgil, his eyeshadow has darkened, and he seems anxious. Logan will have to calm him down. “Take a deep breath, Virgil. I will explain everything.”

Virgil lets out a heavy sigh and lets go of Logan’s shoulder. “You better. What the hell is happening?”

Logan looks down and picks up his laptop. He properly closes it and places it on the coffee table. “My room is getting smaller because the subconscious is removing me from the equation.”

Virgil freezes, gripping his arms as he yells, “What do you mean you are being removed? Are you seriously dying?”

“If you want to put it that way, then yes. I’m ‘dying.’” 

Usually, when Virgil thinks someone is dying, he’s wrong. He’s not supposed to be right; he’s supposed to be wrong. Logan is supposed to tell him he’s wrong. Logan shouldn’t be dying. Why is Logan dying? “How can you be so calm about this? Why are you dying?”

“It’s pointless to be upset about it, not that I can get upset about it.”

Janus rolls his eyes at the denial.

“As for why, it’s quite simple. I’m not needed anymore. Thomas ignores me and pushes me aside; I serve no purpose to him. Therefore, I’m being removed.”

Virgil digs his fingers into his arms. “No, no, NO! You listen here, Professor Necktie. We still need you; Thomas needs you. I need you. You can’t just leave us.”

“I don’t have a choice in the matter. This is happening because Thomas wants it. This wouldn’t be happening if he wanted me.”

“No, this is bullshit! There has to be a mistake. We are talking to Thomas right now.” Virgil grabs Logan’s arm and pulls him to his feet.

Logan’s vision blurs at being harshly pulled up, a symptom of getting up too fast. The room feels like it’s tilting, though Logan knows it’s just him. He holds his head to get his bearings.

“Logan?”

“Don’t manhandle him; he’s not well.”

“I am fine, Janus. Thank you for your concern.” Logan pulls his hand away from his head. 

Janus looks away from his staring contest with Virgil to look at Logan. “Are you going to be able to sink out?”

“Yes.” 

Janus isn’t convinced, but arguing isn’t helpful. Of course, Logan didn’t mention his condition to the others. He sees nothing wrong with his removal. Not with the “evidence” he has for why it’s necessary. 

The three of them sink out to Thomas’ living room. Virgil rises in front of the stairs, while Janus and Logan rise next to the stairs.

Logan experiences another round of light-headedness and vertigo. He isn’t prepared for it, and his legs give out.

Luckily, Janus quickly catches Logan and holds him up. “I got you.”

Thomas looks up from his laptop, excited to see Logan so he can help him with his taxes, then concerned at seeing how pale his logical side is.

A pressure rises in Logan’s stomach and chest, combined with increased saliva buildup. “I need to sit down.”

Janus helps Logan make it over to the couch and sits him down. 

Virgil comes over, voicing Thomas’ questions. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“I’m just experiencing motion sickness. Can I have some water?” 

Virgil rushes over to the kitchen to get a glass. 

Thomas closes his laptop so his focus can be on Logan. “Hey, are you okay, buddy? Is something wrong?”

Before Logan can answer, Virgil yells from the kitchen, “You bet your ass something is wrong, Sanders.”

“Virgil, let the man speak. Heaven knows how much time he has left.”

Thomas looks at Janus before looking back at Logan. “What does he mean by that? It almost sounds like you’re…”

“Dying? Well, that’s one way of phrasing it.” Logan sits up straight, posing like an adult needing to give bad news to a child. “Thomas, as you grow up, needs and wants change. Tools that helped you in the past can become unneeded and thus need to be removed. I am one of those things you don’t need anymore.”

Thomas laughs because what else are you supposed to do when one of your sides says this? “What are you talking about? I still need you, Logan. You’re my logical side. How can I not need you?”

“Well, Thomas, it’s quite simple. You don’t listen to me. The last couple of episodes made that clear. Your career in life doesn’t account for me. I have outlived my usefulness to you.”

“Logan, I still don’t understand; how am I supposed to function without you?”

“Oh, I see the concern now. Your ability to access my function, logic, knowledge, and memory will remain available. As I explained before, I’m not a feeling you can get rid of. It’s more that I, as Logan, will not exist. You don’t need a logic figment anymore.”

“It’s still bullshit!” Virgil yells from the kitchen. He returns with a cup of water and shoves it into Logan’s hands.

“I agree with Virgil,” Thomas starts. “I still need you. Sure, I can still access all that stuff, but I still need you to remind me of it. To reign me back in when the others get too loud. Like, with Remus!” Thomas throws his hands in the air. “Everyone was so scared of him, but you weren’t, and you helped me with him. I couldn’t have done that without you.”

“You seem to believe that you need to convince me to stay. I have no control over what is happening to me. This fading process is happening because you want it.”

“But I don’t! I love all of you. Why would I want to get rid of you?”

Virgil narrows his eyes at Thomas. “Yeah, Sanders. Why do you want to get rid of Logan?”

“I don’t!” Thomas looks at Janus. “I don’t, right?”

Janus looks around him at the three men: Logan’s calm acceptance, Virgil’s suspicions, and Thomas’ panic and guilt. “We are all a part of Thomas. We all influence how he feels. I believe Thomas, as a whole, doesn’t want to get rid of Logan, but enough of him wants to.”

Virgil glares at Janus. “So you’re saying it’s one of us killing Logan?”

“Yes, someone is pulling their weight and wants Logan gone, and no, it’s not me. Logan is one of the few people I tolerate. I would love to live in a world without him and have to deal with you idiots.”

Logan narrows his eyes. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Compliment to you, insult to everyone else.”

Virgil hisses at Janus.

“Okay, hey”—Thomas claps his hands to get their attention—“I’m sure no one is trying to kill Logan. It’s probably just a misunderstanding or something. Let’s just call the others and figure this out.” Thomas raises his hand to summon his sides.

Patton rises in front of the window. “Hey, kiddo.”

Remus rises in front of the TV and scans the room, his eyes landing on Logan. “Sup dork, feeling better after your fall?”

Virgil glares at Remus. “Did you know?”

Remus looks at Virgil with his same crazed smile. “Know what?”

Patton looks between Remus and Logan. “Fall? What fall?” He takes a closer look at Logan. “You’re looking a little pale there, kiddo. Are you okay?”

“I am alright,” Logan assures.

“Logan, you are not alright. You’re fading away,” Thomas reminds him.

Patton screeches, “What?”

“Record scratch. Wait, you mean he’s dying? Like seriously, because that’s some fuck up shit.” Remus grins. 

“Yes, yes, this is a real crisis. Where is Roman?” Janus asks.

Remus giggles, “He’s still cleaning up after our game.”

Virgil scoffs, “Seriously?”

Roman rises. “I’m here.”

Remus puts his hands up in surrender. “It’s not my fault Logan the Nerdy Ghost didn’t want to play with me.”

“Don’t call him that!” Virgil snaps. “He’s not dying; we are fixing this.”

Patton is already in tears. “Why is this happening?”

Roman looks around, seeing Patton in tears, Remus and Virgil bickering, and the snake beside Logan, sitting on the couch beside Thomas. It’s all bizarre. Well, except for Remus and Virgil. That’s pretty normal. “Woah, what is going on here?”

Logan rubs his head. “This is why I wasn’t going to say anything.”

No one hears Logan except for Janus, who has been watching him. The others are too busy with their emotions to get their shit together and focus on the person they keep ignoring. And they wonder why Logan believes he’s not wanted. 

Patton tackles Logan into a hug. “Logan, why are you dying? I don’t want to lose you.”

“What? Dying?” Roman looks at Logan more closely. He does seem paler; he could give Virgil a run for his money for the fairest of them all.

Logan answers Patton’s question. “Well, if Janus’ theory is correct, it’s because one or more of you don’t see me as essential for Thomas.”

Patton pulls away from Logan, a heartbroken expression on his face. “What? We don’t want to get rid of you.”

Roman scoffs. “Oh sure, we don’t listen to your long-winded lectures and boring ideas, and you decide to try to leave? I have to say, that’s very dramatic and unprofessional of you, Logan.” This can’t be real. It just can’t be. There is no way Logan is leaving them.

“Roman!”

“Pump the breaks, Princey.”

“Way to kick a decaying horse, bro.”

Virgil scowls at Roman. “This is your fault! Can you be any more stupid? This isn’t some stupid act for attention. Logan is seriously dying, and you have the nerve to insult him more?”

Logan’s ears ring, causing him to miss the argument between Roman and Virgil. Even Patton has moved over in an attempt to break them up. Logan’s head starts to pound with the rise of nausea. Then he feels a hand on his shoulder. Logan lifts his head to see Janus kneeling in front of him.

Janus’ voice cuts through the ringing. “What do you need?”

Logan takes a deep breath as he tries to think. “Quiet and a bucket.”

Janus looks back at the arguing sides. Even Thomas has abandoned Logan’s side to try to calm the children down. 

Remus seems to be enjoying the chaos. He locks eyes with Janus, who nods at Logan. His favorite nerd looks miserable, and he’s not the one causing it. Remus easily walks away from the raging dumpster fire and helps Janus lift Logan off the couch. 

The three disappear, appearing in a bedroom with yellow wallpaper and an elegant design that could rival Roman’s room. The bedroom has a fireplace and a tall bookshelf filled with books and records.

The trip does Logan over as he covers his mouth. Janus bends Logan over just as Remus summons a rusty bucket for him. Logan throws up into the bucket and coughs for a minute before deciding he’s done. Logan leans away from the bucket and focuses on his breathing. 

Janus hands him a towel and a water bottle. 

Logan takes a long drink. “Thank you.”

Remus picks up the bucket. “Logan vomit, sweet.” He sends it to his room to do who knows what with it.

Janus helps Logan to the bed and sits him down. “Feeling better?”

Logan holds his aching head. “No,” he answers truthfully and looks around the room. “Where are we?”

“My room,” Janus answers. “You asked for quiet.”

Logan looks around the room, noticing it is quiet, with only a ticking clock for background noise.

Remus rocks back and forth on the heels of his feet. “Yeah, it’s pretty boring in here, but perfect for you two nerds.” He grins at Janus and Logan. When Remus calls Logan a nerd, it doesn’t sound like an insult like when Roman does it. It doesn’t feel like Remus is pushing Logan down. It’s said in endearment, with a hint of teasing, but none of the cruelty and negativity behind it.

“I do find your room to be,”—Logan pulls out a stack of notecards and starts flipping through them before finding what he’s looking for. He flips it over—“a vibe. Did I use that right?”

Janus smiles fondly. “Good enough.”

“So, when do I get to slaughter the others?” Remus asks with an evil grin on his face.

“No,” Logan and Janus both answer at the same time.

Janus continues, “Sadly, my dear Duke, we can’t kill the others.” 

Remus crosses his arms and pouts; if there were anyone Remus would listen to, it’s Janus and sometimes Logan.

“Why are you here, Remus?” Logan asks. A question like that can be rude to most people, but it’s just how Logan talks. Logan is blunt and to the point most of the time. Despite the neutral tone in his voice, the question comes out of curiosity and not annoyance at Remus being there, unlike other people.

Remus scans the room as if he expects someone to jump out of nowhere. “Truth be told, dork, I like you. You’re fun to mess with and tease, and I love making you angry.” 

Logan frowns at Remus, looking a little annoyed now.

“But most importantly, you listen to me.”

Logan softens up at that.

“Everyone else just runs for the hills when I come around, which can be fun at times, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I want to be listened to. I have some great ideas that no one but you two will listen to. Or I have fun experiments to try and want to have a mad scientist partner. Even if you do, make me wear all the safety equipment and follow the rules.”

“Lab safety is essential,” Logan defends. Not that Remus hasn’t heard that speech over a hundred times.

“Yeah, I know,” Remus huffs. “But yeah, I don’t want to lose you, Teach. Who else will dissect a horse with me?”

“What is with you and horses this week?” Janus asks.

Remus shrugs. “I’m having a horse phase.”

Logan smiles softly, a warm feeling in his chest. He appreciates what Remus has to say. Remus doesn’t get serious often, so he must be seriously concerned about Logan. Logan honestly didn’t think anyone would care if he disappeared, but so far, everyone— except for Roman一 has shown distress at the idea of Logan leaving. 

“Thank you, Remus. That was uncharacteristically sweet of you.”

“Don’t get used to it, Big Willy.”

…

“Oh, I get it now. You want Logan gone so no one can stop you from making a fool of Thomas!” Virgil accuses. “Real prince-like for you.”

Roman keeps his hands up as he tries to calm the raging Emo. “No! You’re not listening to me. I don’t want him dead.”

Thomas puts his hands between Roman and Virgil. He looks at Virgil. “Calm down. This arguing isn’t helping anyone. Especially Logan.”

Virgil huffs and sticks his hands into his pockets. “I still think it’s Roman’s fault.”

“Oh, like you were any better. We have all told him to shut up from time to time.”

Patton dries his face. “Roman’s right. We all play a part in this. I wasn’t too kind to Logan in our last video together. I completely pushed him away. I literally hit the skip button on him!” He covers his face with his hands. 

Thomas frowns. “Oh, Pat. It’s okay.”

Patton shakes his head. “What if it’s my fault? What if I’ve been doing this to him? All I seem to do is make mistakes.”

Roman and Virgil stay quiet. It’s no secret that they have been angry at the fatherly side for his recent actions.

Thomas goes over to comfort Patton. “Hey, everything is going to be okay. No one wants Logan to go, right? So, as long as that’s true, Logan will be fine, right?” He looks at Roman and Virgil.

“But if that has always been true, then why is he fading in the first place? If none of us want him to go. Then who’s trying to kick Logan out?”

Virgil bites his thumbnail. “Unless someone is lying.” He looks towards the couch, expecting to see Janus and Logan, then freezes.

Roman gives a half laugh. “Lying. Yeah, like that two-face snake.” He looks over at the couch. “Where’s Logan?”

Patton and Thomas look over to see that Logan is gone.

“We were too late. He’s gone. He’s dead.”

Patton starts crying again. 

Panic starts to fill Thomas as he calls out, “Logan.”

Logan appears at his spot. Then he immediately grabs onto the railing and throws up on the floor. 

The others are too relieved to see Logan to care about the vomit. “Logan!” They all call out. 

Janus and Remus appear. 

“Stop jerking him around,” Janus snaps. He helps Logan to the couch.

Remus looks down to see he is stepping in Logan’s vomit. “Aww, man, I miss my chance of getting more vomit.”

Thomas claps his hands. “Guys, focus.” He looks at Janus. “None of us want him to leave. So why is this happening?”

Janus looks around at them. Someone is lying. Someone has to be instigating this. He looks at Remus. Remus never hides his true feelings. Not to mention his heartfelt confession to Logan in Janus’ room. So it’s not him. 

Janus looks at Virgil. The idea of anyone dying, no matter if he likes them or not, scares the shit out of Virgil. He would never dream of killing any of them. 

Janus looks at Patton. Patton is filled with guilt about a lot of things. Things that they should talk about at some point before that bottle breaks, but for now, Patton doesn’t have the heart to kill anyone. 

Janus looks at Roman. Roman seems like the most likely person to want to kill Logan. The two bicker like no tomorrow. And while he can see Roman as someone who would fan the flames. He’s not the one who started it. 

Janus looks at Logan. He sees rejection. Acceptance. Logan believes that he’s needed. Logan never gave up on the idea that he was important. But as he said, logic isn’t something you can throw away. Logan’s job isn’t going anywhere. So, if the need is safe, it’s the want that is the problem. 

And Logan told them what was wrong. He said no one wants him. He was the first person to throw that out. That no one wants him. No one wants Logan. The acceptance. “Oh, darling.” Janus pets Logan’s head. 

Patton looks at Janus. “What? What is it?”

Janus looks up at all of them. “He’s been doing it to himself.”

That makes everyone freeze—even Logan. 

Logan looks up at Janus. “What are you talking about? I don’t want to die.”

“You are the only one who believes you’re not wanted. Fueled by the way the others have treated you. You have convinced yourself that they don’t want you. And so you have been easing yourself.”

Logan stares out. Has he been killing himself? But that’s so illogical. His demise would cause the downfall of Thomas. 

“Still stuck in denial,” Janus musses as he kneels. “When you found out that you were fading. You had just accepted it. You didn’t fight it. You just started planning on preparing the others for when you were gone.”

Patton gasps, “The first-aid lessons.”

Virgil stuffs his hands in his pockets. “The anxiety management research.”

“Insisting we made a schedule.” 

Janus nods. “Nothing you did was in the act of keeping you here. Because you don’t feel wanted. You don’t want to be here.”

Logan lowers his head. It’s true. He didn’t fight back. He’s felt ignored, pushed aside, and unwanted. He was so tired of being silenced. He did give up. But what other choice did he have? Things were only seeming to get worse for him. It felt so logical for him to leave. “Oh god.” Logan drops his head into his hands. 

Patton rushes over and hugs Logan. “I am so sorry I ever made you feel unwanted. I’m sorry I ignored your feelings. But please don’t go. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

Logan slowly hugs Patton. Patton is a caring person, but by all means, he is not perfect. Patton gives his all for other people. “I believe you.”

A weight has been lifted from Patton’s shoulders. He kisses Logan’s forehead before letting him go. 

Virgil shuffles over, fidgeting with his hands. “I should have seen the signs. I guess this was your way of ducking out, and I should have known how that felt. So I’m sorry.”

“You couldn’t have known what wasn’t clearly stated.” Logan feels himself getting more tired. 

“Still…” Virgil shifts around. “I want you around.”

“I think you made that very clear.”

Everyone looks at Roman expectantly. 

Roman clears his throat. “Logan, I know we don’t always get along. But I—”

Logan misses the rest of Roman’s sentence as his eyes close, and he falls forward. 

Janus catches him before he can fall off the couch. “We’re losing him.”

Patton starts to panic. “What do we do? What do we do?”

Virgil bites his nails. “I don’t know; Logan usually comes up with the plans.”

Roman stares down at Logan. He’s going to die before Roman can say what he wants. Logan is low on energy. How do they summon more energy? He looks at Thomas. We bring the man to the source. “Thomas!”

Thomas jumps as he looks at Roman. 

“You need to bring us to Logan’s room.”

Thomas’ eyes light up. “Right! Of course. Uh, uh, thinking of logical things.”

One by one, the sides disappear.

Chapter Text

Everyone rises. Thomas’ living room has changed again like it always does when he enters the side rooms. His bookshelf is now filled with books. Trophies and rewards lay on top of the bookshelf. Where that confusing painting was is now a whiteboard with the words, “So this is Logan’s room” written on it. More books are scattered around the room in neat and probably categorized piles. The room smells like a library, in Thomas’ opinion. 

Logan appears on the couch like he was in the real world while the others are in their spots around the room. 

“You know, I don’t think I would expect anything else out of Logan’s room,” Thomas muses. 

Patton picks up a solar system project. “Aww, Thomas’ 7th grade science fair project. Oh, the memories. Logan was so proud of this one.”

“I helped on that one, too,” Roman adds. 

“Yeah, this is great and all, but is Logan going to—”

A groan interrupts Virgil as Logan sits up. 

“Logan!” Everyone calls out.

Logan looks around, noticing that they are all in his domain. “What are you doing here? You know my room isn’t healthy for any of you.”

“What were we supposed to do?” Virgil questions. “You were dying on us.”

Logan looks away. He doesn’t understand the logic in all of this. He was so sure that the others didn’t want him. Why is it now that they seem so focused on proving him wrong? Why is it now that they say something? “If you all care so much about me, then why are you all always ignoring me?”

That gives everyone pause. Or at least it gives the light sides a pause. Remus is just enjoying the show. And Janus is just waiting to see what happens. 

Patton speaks first. “We weren’t trying to ignore—”

“Falsehood!” Logan stands up. “How could you possibly not know that you were ignoring me? You literally hit the skip button on me. That was no accident, Patton.”

Remus grins. “Oh, it’s about to get good.”

Patton fumbles. “I’m sorry. You’re right that was wrong of me. I’m sorry, kiddo.”

“I am not your “kiddo.” We are the same age even when you don’t act like it half the time. Don’t treat me like one when I have always been the mature one of this group.”

Patton is flabbergasted. He doesn’t know how to respond to that. 

Logan looks at Roman. “And don’t even try to tell me that you actually care. You have always made it clear that you don’t value my input. I’ve always been a big joke to you.”

Thomas puts his hands up. “Woah, Logan. I understand that you’re upset. But let’s take it easy.”

Logan looks at Thomas. “Take it easy?” He looks around the room. “What the hell do you want from me? I have tried everything to get you to listen. Learning slang. Thinking about the others’ feelings. Compromising. Showing up in a different format. But nothing”—Logan claps his hands—“Works!” He looks at Thomas again. “So what do you want from me? What can I do to get you to listen to me?”

“There is nothing you can do.”

Everyone looks at Roman. 

“Because it wasn’t you who was the problem. We are.” Roman looks around. “I am the problem. I’m so prideful that I never want to listen to anyone’s opinions but my own. We all”—he gestures to Patton and Virgil—“get so caught up in our emotions that we ignore logic. We are so prideful that we don’t want to admit we are wrong. That’s why Patton skipped you. Because he couldn’t admit that he was wrong, and I can’t admit that my wants aren’t the most important thing for Thomas. We all want to be right, but without logic to back us up, we end up doing things all wrong.”

“So nothing changes? This is just how this will always go.”

“No,” Patton calls out. “Things will change. Because now we see it. We see what we have done to you. We need you.”

“Of course you need me! Need has never been the issue. But all I’m hearing is why you don’t want me. And there is nothing—”

“I want you.”

Everyone looks at Remus. 

“If these gore rags don’t want you. Come with us. We are a lot more fun than them anyway.”

“No!” The light sides yell. 

“Logan,” Roman calls out. “Look, everything you said is right. We have been awful to you. Me the most. And you would think I would have learned my lesson with Virgil. But I didn’t, and I am so deeply sorry. I want you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do!” Roman insistes. “I want you because I need someone who pushes me to make the best stuff I can. I want you because your research is so important for the scripts. I can’t do my job without you. My ego always tells me that I’m the best. That it’s all me. But it’s not. It’s you staying up late at night doing research with me, reading draft after draft to ensure I get everything right. Keeping me focused on the task at hand when I lose focus.”

Roman sighs. “The truth is, I’m jealous of you. You’re always well put together. You always have the answers to our problems. You’ve grown more popular than me. I felt threatened by you, and I lashed out. All I do is lash out. I’ve hurt Virgil, and now I’ve hurt you. I shouldn’t even call myself a prince.”

“Aww, Roman,” Thomas tries to comfort his fanciful side.

“It’s true you are incapable of being a prince, given that Thomas is not royalty.”

“But you are a prince in our hearts,” Patton assures. “And I’m proud of you. That couldn’t be easy to say.”

“Actually, it was a lot easier to say being in Logan’s room.”

Logan hums. “My room does have that effect on people.”

Virgil looks at Logan. “So… does this mean you will stay?”

Logan looks around. “It seems that my original assessment was wrong and that my presence will be needed for a longer period of time.”

Patton gives a thumbs up. “Satisfactory.”

Thomas looks at Patton. “Are you okay, buddy?”

“My room is repressing his ability to emote. You all need to get out of here.” Logan shoos at them. 

“Oh, right.” Thomas focuses, causing them all to sink out.

…

Everyone rises back in Thomas’ living room. 

Roman shakes himself. “Sweet Zeus, I never get used to that.”

Patton tackles Logan into a hug. “Logan!”

Logan, who is still a little weak from his fading process, falls over with Patton on top of him. “Patton.”

“Kinky,” Remus giggles. 

Patton helps Logan to his feet. “Sorry.”

“So, are you going to be okay now?” Thomas asks. “Crisis avoided?”

Janus puts his hand on top of Logan’s head. “The process has stopped, but he still needs time to recover. It might be a little bit before you can use your room. But in time, everything should go back to normal.” He pulls his hand away. 

“Thank you, Janus.” Logan fixes his necktie.

Patton gasps. “We can have a sleepover in the commons until your room is fixed. We can watch all the documentaries you want.”

Logan looks around his family. Is everything perfect now? Not by a long shot. But it’s a start. “I think that would be satisfactory.”