Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1:05pm"Is performing an autopsy on a living person still illegal?"

1:07pm"YES! I believe it's called torture."

1:08pm"Oh shut it, RARA. If you had to sit through three classes with Toolhead turning your paperclips into helicopters you'd want to open him up and check for gears too."

1:10pm"Though I am a strong believer in medical investigations you should probably wait until he dies p.s not RARA."

1:11pm"Oh is this Kelp Head? I didn't know you could spell investigations or medical or believer, or well any of the words you just said."

1:12pm"My head is not full of kelp, thank you very much. I think you have the wrong number."

1:13pm"You can do that? I thought you just click on the person's name and type."

1:15pm " Not quite."

1:17pm"Oh sorry. "

1:50pm"I didn't torture him. But he will be unconscious for the next 10-40 minutes due to the surprising weight of textbook I hit him with."

1:53pm"Wrong number again.

1:54pm "I suddenly just realized that you could be a sociopath."

1:55pm "I thought that was obvious? And I know I thought I'd update you on whether or not I'm going to prison."

1:58pm "Why thank you. A few more years before you have to wear orange then. From what I've seen you'll probably murder someone eventually. And a textbook? Really?"
2:01pm "If anyone tries to get me to wear orange I'll end up murdering one more person. And they don't let us have weapons in class."

2:03pm "I have officially saved your name on my phone as sociopath, and don't be rude. Orange is my second favourite colour after yellow."

2:05pm "I am disgusted. I can't talk to you anymore. You're one of those people who dress obnoxiously bright and are always happy aren't you?"

2:07pm "And you're one of those people who always wear obsessive amounts of black and hate everyone, aren't you?"

2:09pm "Are you stalking me? Black is a calming colour and I don't hate everyone… just most people."

2:11pm "Friendly, aren't you? And since I'm a complete stranger I could very well be stalking you. Didn't anyone ever teach you about cyber safety?"

2:13pm "What does cyber mean? We don't have computers in my house if that's what you mean. Father just gave me this… thing because apparently most teenagers have them."

2:15pm "WHAT CENTUARY ARE YOU FROM? And yes yes we do. I am oddly relieved you're not a middle aged man."

2:18pm "I'm fifteen so I'm far from being middle aged… according to Kelp Head I have the computer skills of someone from the nineteen forties."
2:20pm "Did his parents name him Kelp Head or are you just a kind friend? And I'm fifteen too."

2:22pm "His girlfriend's calls him Seaweed Brain. It suits more than you will ever know."

2:24pm "Do they have a name for you?"

2:25pm " Not that I'll ever admit to."

2:28pm "I'LL GUESS! Lets see… you're old fashioned, goth and a psychopath…"

2:30pm "I thought I was a sociopath?"

2:35pm"Um… something to do with death…"

2: 42pm " -_-"

2:44pm "YAY I'M CLOSE! And I'm surprised you can do emojis, old man."

2:46pm "ToolBrain just woke up. He showed me."
2:47pm "You almost kill him and he helps you with your phone?"

2:50pm "I think he booby trapped it…"

2:52pm "Deservingly. How do you not understand technology? Don't you go to school?"

2:54pm "Tragically. It's full of posh prats that I despise."

2:56pm "Tool Brain is a posh prat? And Sociopath, are you rich?"

2:59pm "He's a scholarship kid, and…possibly…"

3:01pm "I KNEW IT! I just go to public school. And this question is a little late but RARA? Do her parents hate her or do you?"

3:03pm "They're her initials which Superman and I cruelly mock her with. She's my neighbour."

3:05pm "Superman? So many nicknames I don't understand."

3:06pm " He's just so… superman."

3:09pm "Still wondering about your name."

3:11pm "Keep wondering."

3:13pm *Pouts* and for safety purposes I won't give you my real name… call me Glowstick or Sunshine, or at least that's what Rainbow head calls me."

3:15pm "Oh god, you are one of those colourful people. Do you actually glow?"

3:16pm"Sadly not. I'm just very blonde."

3:18pm "I'm the polar opposite if you didn't guess. Black hair, not blonde like at all."

3:20pm "I didn't think so, Death Head."

3:22pm "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"
3:25pm "PEOPLE ACTUALLY CALL YOU THAT? I AM DYING! LOL!"

3:26pm "Good. Die."

3:28pm "So mean!"

3:31pm "Don't call me that, sunspot. ToolBrain nearly has his hair set on fire every time he tries."

3:33pm"Considering what I've heard of him that doesn't sound like an irregular occurrence."

3:33pm "His hair is rarely not on fire to be honest."

3:35pm"I wouldn't want to sit by him in class either. He sounds like a fire hazard."
3:37pm "Which is coincidentally one of our names for him."

3:40pm "I'll text you later. I have surf practice."

3:42pm "Surf? Where in Hades name are you?"

3:45pm " LA. What about you?"

3:47pm "Los Vegas. My father owns some casino's so we're stuck in the heat."

3:49pm"Wow you are rich. I love the heat! And I live here with my foster family."

3:52pm " Oh. I used to live in the foster system before they tracked down my father."

3:53pm "I really should go, stranger who texted me with murder plans."

3:55pm "Alright, stranger who replied with advice on murder."

3:57 "I DID NOT GIVE ADVICE!"
3:58pm "Go be all athletic or whatever surfing entails."

6:31pm "TOOL HEAD! VAI A FARTI FOTTERE! HOW DO I TURN IT OFF, YOU FUCKING CAZZO?"

6:34pm "Wrong number again and I am oddly impressed that you can swear in other languages. What did Tool Head do?"

6:51pm "Oh you again. The piece of shit made my ringtone Barbie Girl. He called me in the middle of dinner with my family. And I should be impressive at Italian considering it's my first language."

6:54pm "FIRST LANGUAGE? ARE YOU ITALIAN? And omg I'm dying."

6:58pm "So is Tool Head, and yes I was raised in Italy."

6:59pm "How did I not know this? Why did you leave? Italy sounds amazing!"
7:01pm "It was but Mama became a representation for the Italian government here in America so we moved."

7:04pm"You mentioned being a foster kid before, did your Mom pass away?"

7:11pm "I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked."

7:14pm"It's fine. The building collapsed with us inside. My sister and I barely survived."

" I'm sorry. I never knew my parents, but my mom left a note explaining that she was too young to be a mother."

7:16pm "I'm sorry."

7:20pm"Is it still singing?"

7:21pm "I threw the APhone repeatedly against the wall. It stopped but the screen keeps changing. My sister is still laughing and my fathers face still has a slight purple tinge."

7:23pm "That poor IPhone. What kind of a teenager are you? My foster brother treats technology like they're his children… which they usually are."

7:25pm"You're all obsessed. It's unhealthy."

7:27pm"Excuse you I am a strong believer in a healthy lifestyle."

7:28pm"Yuck."

7:29pm"And dinner's finished. Thank gods."

7:31pm "Is your sister still laughing at you?"

7:38pm "Thankfully not, but she is still smiling. Once my step mother explained what a ringtone is she found it hilarious."

7:40pm. "Was your sister frozen for seventy years to, Capsicule."

7:42pm "She makes me look like Tool Brain."

7:48pm. "For comicon you need to go as either Aang or Captain America. Or you can go with your sister as both."

7:45pm. "Kelp head suggested that last year for Halloweed. As if he could judge about being oblivious."

7:47pm. "How so?"

7:47pm. "Firstly out of us you're the one who talks like they're from the forties. Secondly he is the most oblivious person in the world, especially when it comes to people liking him. He didn't notice: Merida, RARA, Ghost King and his girlfriend. They had had crushes on eachother (Seaweed Brain and Wise Girl) for four years!"

7:50pm. "Firstly I wish to comment on your gift at nick names. Do you actually use them or are they for my possibly stalkerish benefit? And he had to have noticed he liked her. It's kind of hard not to."

7:51pm. "We sometimes use them and no he didn't realize. He's special that way."

7:52pm "Wow. That is special."

7:54pm. "We're 90% sure he has brain damage from spending too much time underwater."

7:56pm. "I don't know him but that sounds likely. I should go to bed. It's getting later."

7:59pm. "Late? IT'S NOT EVEN EIGHT! IT'S PRACTICALLY MORNING!"

8:03pm "The sun's is down therefore I'm going to bed. I'll be up bright and early at 5am when the sun returns."

8:05pm "I was joking before about stopping talking to you, but this? This is horrifying and detrimental to our relationship."

8:07pm. "We have a relationship, do we?"

8:10pm "I correct myself. Mutual texting over murder."

8:13pm. "How sweet. I really should sleep, the sun has been down for like twenty minutes I NEVER STAY UP THIS LATE!"

8:13pm. "I'm nocturnal so fuck off you annoyingly bright fire bender."

8:15pm. "YAY! YOU WATCH AVATAR! I am so glad. I thought you wouldn't know what a television is."

8:18pm "Kelp Head forced me. Apparently he's a waterbender and Hazel and I are earthbenders."

8:20pm. "I KNOW SOMEONES NAME! Now to stalk you I must just find every person who knows a Hazel…"
8:20pm. "Good luck with that, Sunspot. I'll be hanging from my ceiling like a bat."

8:23pm. "And I'll be sleeping like a normal person."

8:25pm. "Normal people aren't sleeping at 8."

8:26pm. "Oh shush."

8:29pm. "Fine. Even if it barely counts goodnight."

8:31pm. "Night to you too, Dracula."

Chapter Text

5:04am "Morning sunshine!"

5:10am. "V AI A FARTI FOTTERE TU CRUDELE ESSERE UMANO!"

5:11am "Huh?"

5:13am. "According to google translate you're very grumpy this early."

7:17am "No shit Sherlock. WHAT POSESSED YOU TO TEXT ME AT FIVE IN THE MORNING?"

7:19am. "I was bored."

7:21am. "THEN SLEEP! I'm tired now.

7:22am "You are pure evil."

7:24am. "5am is a perfectly normal wake up time."

7:27am. "For athletes and babies."

7:31am. "And future doctors."

7:34am. "But definitely not future morgue workers. My patients will have no problems with me sleeping in."

7:36am. "I don't think they'd mind if you made them do the Macarena either. They're dead."

7:40am. "Just the way I like people."

7:41am. "Especially morning people

7:43am. "I get it! I won't text you until six am."

7:45am "-_- How about I text first in the mornings?"

7:47am. "So you plan on texting me more?"

7:50am. "I like insulting you. And I have school now. Jules Albert is annoyed with me for being late."

7:52am. "Who?"

7:54am. "My chauffeur."

7:55am. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'M ON A BUS RIGHT NOW! WHO HAS A CHAEFFEUR?"

7:57am. "My father's idea of a driving me to school. I should go, Hazel gets confused by the beeping noise this little black box makes."

7:59am. "Lol. Is she your sister? So I can restrict my stalking to people with sisters named Hazel."

8:01am. "Yes she is my sister and as if you could find me."

8:03am. "I just realised something."

8:04am. "That you're an idiot?"
8:06am. "I don't even know if you're a boy or girl (or neither. No judgement.)"

8:06am. "I'm a boy. What about you?"

8:09am. "Same."
8:11am. "Hazel keeps jumping at the noise. I'll text you later."

12:13pm "I HATE ENGLISH! I'M MOVING BACK TO ITALY!"

12:14pm "Sure you are. And English is important."

12:16pm. "Please, half the country only speak text speak. Most of them probably can't spell laugh out loud."
12:19pm. "True true, but if you're going to be a coroner you need to fill out reports, and not in text speak or Italian."

12:21pm. "But why do we have to read Shakespeare? I get it! EVERYONE DIES!"

12:23pm. "Something I doubt you're upset about. Now I actually like class so ttyl."

12:27pm. "Thank you for the example of the language of our generation. Bye."

12:34pm "Who were you texting? Did you get a boyfriend?"
12:36pm. "Percy, I'm not dating every boy I meet. Honestly I'm starting to miss the why aren't I your type phase."

12:38pm. "NICOOOOO! You hurt me! I know you're not dating every boy… but are you dating this one?"

12:38pm. "For all you know I was texting Hazel."

12:40pm. "Hazel can't use a phone. And PLZZZZZ!"
12:42pm. "You're an idiot and no I'm not dating him. It was just a wrong number."

12:45pm. "THEN WHY WERE YOU SMILING? You don't smile."

12:47pm. "Because he's a funny wrong number. Something you would know nothing about."

12:51pm. "Dude, how old is this guy? How do you know he's not some old creep after your innocence."

12:53pm. "He's fifteen and since when am I innocent?"

12:53pm. "Ehmm, do I have to tell Reyna and Jason?"

12:55pm. "DON'T YOU DARE! You know how overprotective they are!"
12:57pm. "Fine, BUT DON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING! NO ADRESS OR WHATEVER!"

12:59pm. "No shit Sherlock. I'm not an idiot, that's you."

1:00pm. "That might be insulting if we weren't FINALLY FREE FROM THIS HELL! ENGLISH CAN KISS MY SHINY ASS!"

1:01pm. "Charming. You do realize we have another class in forty minutes right?"

1:03pm. "Don't spoil my fun, Di Angelo."

1:05pm. "Should I also not mention that we're walking next to each other and texting?"

1:07pm. "The muggles might hear us."

1:09pm. "Talking about our hatred of English? You practically wrote that on the board."

1:11pm. "No, that was you. The teacher had to google translate your Italian swearing."

1:13pm. "Not my fault they don't speak Italian."

1:15pm. "Has your phone broken yet?"

1:17pm. "Yep. I already transferred my card thing to my spare."

1:20pm. "Do you just carry around phones to replace yours inevitably breaking?"
1:22pm. "No. Tool Head does, he gave me one of the phones he created. Honestly I'm scared."

1:24pm. "My foster brother's the same. He built my phone and it took me two months to convince him to stop him from making it randomly sing walking on sunshine."

1:26pm. "I hate techy people, especially prankster ones."

1:29pm. "You just described my foster brother perfectly."

1:32pm. "What are you doing?"

1:33pm. "Next you'll be asking what I'm wearing."

1:35pm. "Ha Ha."
1:37pm. "Nothing much, just sitting with my friends and glaring at their unhealthy lunches."

1:39pm. "Ugh you're one of those people. Why aren't I surprised?"

1:41pm. "I probably shouldn't mention that on a dare I once went to subway and asked for a deep fried sub full of fries."

1:43pm. "THAT'S SO UNHEALTHY! Why do I think you dared yourself?"

1:45pm "Because you've known me a whole day."

1:47pm. "For some reason they wouldn't give it to me. Something about not having a deep fryer… health freaks."

1:51pm. "Houdini and Rainbow are giving me odd looks because I am currently dying of laughter."

1:53pm. "HEY WHOEVER WILL IS TEXTING! IS THIS HIS SECRET BOYFRIEND?"

1:54pm. "I assume you're either Rainbow or Houdini. No I'm not his boyfriend."

1:54pm. "RAINNNBOOOOWWWW! Like a fucking unicorn!"
1:55pm. "That's nice. Can you please return Will's phone."

1:56pm. "BUT LOOK AT ALL THESE TEXTS! Are you sure you're not his boyfriend?"

1:59pm. "Positive."

2:00pm. "Not yet then."

2:02pm. "AHSKG3GLGBLYCRHOUHE3GNHL"

2:04pm. "I am so sorry about her. I got the phone back."

2:05pm. "It's alright, Will."

2:06pm. "MY SECRET IDENTIDY HAS BEEN REVEALED!"

2:08pm. "You're not batman. If it makes you feel better I'm Nico."

2:10pm. "YOUR NAME IS SO CUTE!"

2:13pm. "I. AM. NOT. CUTE."

2:12pm. "Fine. Adorable."

2:14pm. "Shouldn't you be in class, William?"
2:16pm. "You sound so much like my teacher. It's scary. And no I have a study, what about you?"

2:18pm. "I am currently on my way to the principle's office."

2:19pm. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

2:21pm. "I simply told my maths teacher that I do not know his X and that if she is trying so hard not to be found he should listen to the restraining order."

2:22pm. "Oh god."

2:24pm. "Don't insult the principle and get yourself expelled."

2:25pm. "If he doesn't spend the entire time drinking wine and calling me Nicole."

2:26pm. "What kind of a principle do you have?"

2:29pm. "The kind that can't be bothered with the paper work it would take to expel me."

2:31pm. "Great principle you got there."

2:33pm. "Mr Di is a real sweetheart."

2:34pm. "I'm here. I'll text you later."

2:36pm. "Alright, no murdering drunk principles!"

2:36pm. "No promises."

3:04pm. "Apparently three teachers complaining about me in one day is worthy of a detention."

3:06pm. "THREE? WHAT ELSE DID YOU DO?"
3:10pm. "First period: dunked Kelp Head's head into the fish tank so he could be with his people. Third Period: wrote that I fucking hating English and motherfucking teachers on the board in Italian. Fifth period: X incident."

3:12pm. "HOW DID YOU ONLY SURVIVE TWO PERIODS WITHOUT TROUBLE? And eleven years without expulsion."

3:14pm. "Second period was PE so I didn't show up, and third was a free period. So I think I'm pretty consistent. And money helps with the expulsion thing, plus teachers were oddly scared of eleven year old me… and current me."

3:16pm. "Oh god. You're that punk kid with piercings and tattoos who spends all class smoking pot and making sarcastic comments."

3:19pm. "Apart from the pot and piercings that's pretty accurate."

3:21pm. "Wait… you have tattoos? YOU'RE FIFTEEN!"

3:21pm "Not according to my fake ID."

3:23pm "I'm going to skip past the lecture on fake ideas being illegal and tattoos lasting forever and regretting them when you're eighty because I know you won't listen."

3:23pm. "Superman, RARA and just about everyone else have tried."

3:25pm. "So… what are your tattoos of?"
3:27pm "this is beginning to sound vaguely dirty."

3:30pm. "Oh shush. I'm curious."

3:35pm. "Fine! Black angel wings on my back and my dead sister's name on my arm."

3:41pm. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

3:39pm. "Well we have only been talking to a day. Since I know you're wondering she died in a car accident when I was ten. And Hazel's my half-sister. I only met her two years ago."

3:42pm, "I'm sorry."

3:45pm "Anyway I have detention. Shouldn't you have surf practice?"

3:49pm. "I'm already in the water actually. My phone's waterproof."

3:52pm. "Ignoring my utter confusion at that, I have to go."

3:58pm. "Hey Nico?"

3:59pm. "Yeah Will?"

4:01pm . "Thanks for telling me about your family."

4:04pm. "You're welcome I guess. Thanks for you know listening."

4:06pm. "Anytime."

7:03pm "Nico. Can I come over?"

7:05pm. "Obviously. Why are you asking? Forgot how to climb through my window?"

7:10pm. "He was really angry today. I can't climb, can you let me inside. I can't stay there tonight."

7:12pm. "I'll be there in a second."

7:30pm. "How do you treat broken ribs?"

7:34pm. "Oh god, what did you do?"

7:37pm. "Nothing. My friend hurt herself climbing into my window. I'm on the third story."

7:39pm. "Did your girlfriend fall? Because she could have several more injuries maybe even a concussion. She needs to see a doctor."

7:42pm. "She's not my girlfriend. She refuses to see a doctor. Just tell me, future doctor."

7:46pm. "She might have punctured a lung! She has to see someone!"
7:48pm. "Whatever I'll just google it."

Chapter Text

9:12am "How do I escape your sister? SHE'S MOTHERING ME! I've already had to take more pain killers than Dr House.

9:14am. "Gods, two early wake up calls two days in a row. There is no escape from Hazel's mothering."

9:16am, "There has to be! Honestly Hazel is worse than Jason sometimes."

9:19am "Whatever buffet Hazel is making you, save me some. For when I wake up in five hours."

9:21am "Who woke you up yesterday? Did Percy call you to tell you his new goldfish has learnt how to swim again?"

9:23am "I swear he's getting stupider. No, it was someone else."

9:25am. "Since you are being so vague I can only assume It's a boy. *raises eyebrows expectantly.*"

9:27am. "Yes he a is a boy, no he is not a boy in the way you mean, RARA"

9:31am. "Firstly that name is ridiculous. Secondly who is he? And are you sure? You seem pretty secretive about him."

9:32am. "Are those pancake I smell? What else has she made for you?"

9:33am "Everything. Don't you have a chef? And stop changing the topic!"

9:35am. "Hazel's a better cook. Fine! I texted a wrong number the other day and we're still talking. DON'T FREAK OUT!"

9:38am. "DON'T FREAK OUT? HE'S A STRANGER! HE COULD BE A PEDOPHILE!"
9:40am. "I'm the one who texted him and he's not! He's fifteen. I haven't told him anything he can use against me."

9:43am. "Hazel agrees with me. STOP TEXTING HIM!"

9:45am. "You told Hazel? You know what, I'm going back to sleep. Text me again when you calm down."

9:49am. "NICO!'

9:52am. "DO I HAVE TO GO UP THERE?!"

9:59am. "WAKE UP! STOP BEING AN IDIOT!"

10:06am. "You know what. I'm coming up there."

1:12pm. "I AM GOING TO KILL RARA! Who by the way also lectured me for several hours on calling her RARA, so will now be referred to as Wonder Woman."

1:15pm. "Why else was she lecturing you? And please tell me you didn't just wake up."

1:17pm "Sadly not. I've been up since 9am being lectured by Wonder Woman and Hazel about talking to possible creepy perverts."

1:19pm. "Have you been cheating on me with another creepy pervert texter?"

1:21pm. "No. They just don't know the fact I don't know you (or that they don't so they can interrogate you.)"

1:23pm. "Weird. When Rainbow, Houdini and foster brother (who I will be referring to as the Human Torch.) just asked for your number so they could tease you mercilessly."

1:26pm "Be glad your friends aren't as ridiculously protective as mine. They are the definition of mother hens (and in Kelp Head's case: mother fish.)"

1:28pm "Protective sounds cute. Weird considering I imagined your friends as a motorcycle gang."
1:31pm. "I wish. Superman's captain of the bloody football team. Wonder woman is student body president, Kelp Head is captain of the swim team and Tool Head is president of the Robotics club."

1:33pm. "Wow. That was unexpected. I feel we should trade friends. Mine are idiots who spend all class sassing teachers, painting their nails and hair random colours (Rainbow) or stealing from the rest of the class and occasionally teachers (Houdini)"

1:35pm. "Wow they sound like great people. We'd get along great (unlike with you who I can only assume to be a nerd)"

1:39pm. "Rude! I may own a sweater vest…"

1:42pm. "I knew it. Nerd."

1:44pm. "so mean! Have wonder woman and Hazel stopped lecturing you?"

1:44pm "For now. But Hazel made me food so she's forgiven."

1:46pm "Has your girlfriend gone to the hospital yet?"

1:49pm. "Once again, not girlfriend. It was Wonder Woman, she's fine and still refusing to see anyone. But I did what google recommended and from my amateur version of checking nothing has shattered and she just needs rest and painkillers."
1:52pm "Your student body president is stupid enough not to go to the hospital? I am worried for your school's wellbeing."

1:54pm. "You should be considering our principle. She has her reasons."

1:56pm. "She didn't climb through the window did she?"

1:59pm. "Not last night she didn't, but she usually does. Wonder woman."

2:01pm. "If someone is hurting her she needs to tell someone."

2:04pm. "She refuses. And you guessing doesn't count as me telling anyone."

2:07pm. 'HELLO SEXY LADIES! WHO IS WILLY TEXTING? For the record he slept with a teddy bear until he was fourteen and still has a night light. He's scared of the dark."

2:09pm "Hello again Rainbow, or maybe the human torch? Thank you for this information."
2:09pm. "THAT'S ME! THE HUMAN TORCH OR MCSHIZZLE MC-HOTSTUFF!"

2:11pm. "Ugh you remind me of my friend. Go away."

2:15pm. "No one could replicate my perfection. Oooohhhh you're sociopath. Nice to meet you. Have you killed anyone today?"
2:18pm. "Well I'm considering killing my injured best friend… and you. Give the glowstick back his phone."

2:22pm. "Rude. I WANT DIRT! Do you have a crush on him? Are you a creepy perv? Can you introduce me to any girls?"
2:24pm. "No, no, and I'm in a different state dumbass."

2:26pm. "I go to another state every day for school. Are you sure about the first one? I'm scrolling through your texts and there is definitely some flirting."

`2:26pm. "WAIT… YOU'RE NAME IS NICO! YOU'RE A PHYSOPATH! RICH, HAS A SISTER NAMED HAZEL, RUDELY HITS PEOPLE WITH BOOKS… OMFG NEEKKKKSSSS!"

2:28pm. "What are you on?"

2:31pm. "Will's head. AND IT'S LEEEOOOO VALLLDEEEZZZ! I must say you are very mean about me."

2:34pm. "WHAT THE HELL? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?"

2:36pm. "Dude foster kid who travels out of state every day for school, genius and has a great sense of humour. I BUILT BOTH OF YOUR PHONES!"

2:39pm. "Holy shit. At least now I know Will's actually fifteen."

2:41pm. "Actually he's forty six… he got held back a lot."

2:46pm. "I'M BACK! What did the human torch say?"

2:49pm. "Look above. HE'S TOOL HEAD!"

2:52pm. "Holy shituki mushrooms."

2:53pm. "At least I'll be able to get RARA and Hazel to stop panicking. Then again you were raised with Leo so this may be more reason to panic."

2:55pm. "We've only lived together a couple years. He just looked at our messaging and is now singing "RA RA OH MA MA, GA GA OH LA LA."

2:57pm. "He does that every time someone calls her that."

2:59pm. "You do realize I can now learn all of your personal information right?"

3:02pm. "And you do realize I now know you still sleep with a night light? J "

3:02pm "Oh shit. I'll text you after I'm done killing Leo.
3:04pm. "What a coincidence that's one of my favourite hobbies. I could send you a list of ideas?"

3:06pm. "I think I can suffice without it."

3:08pm. "Have fun with your murder."

3:09pm. "Have fun dealing with wonder woman."

3:11pm. "Wonder woman, you'll be glad to know I've been texti ng the possible pervert again."

3:14pm. "No I will not! Must we give you the cyber safety talk again?"
3:17pm. "Actually you might like this. His foster brother stole his phone…. It's Leo."

3:19pm. "Are you serious? So Leo can confirm he's a teenager?"

3:21pm. "Yes. I'll call him later to confirm it. He's currently being murdered for stealing Will's phone."

3:23pm. "This is great. I'm sorry for worrying so much but you have to admit it could have been very bad."

3:25pm. "Yeah but for now I'll just bask in the I told you so."

3:29pm "Yeah yeah. Once again may I ask why we are texting when we're literally in the same building?"

3:31pm. "Because I don't want to be watching The Fault in our Stars with Hazel."

3:33pm. "Shut it. It's a surprisingly good movie. I hear the book's even better."

3:35pm. "I'm not talking about a romance movie."
3:37pm. "Fine. Want to watch Hercules later and mock it for its inaccuracy?"

3:41pm. "Definitely. Will anyone notice if you stay all weekend?"

3:43pm. "Hylla's at college. The staff might but they won't tell Father."

3:44pm. "Good. You really should just move in, Father won't notice."

3:46pm. "You know I can't do that."

3:49pm. "Alright. I don't want to start anything."

8:36pm. "WHY IN HADES NAME IS LEO AT MY DOOR? IT'S A FOUR HOUR DRIVE!"

8:39pm. "He told me he was going to get milk. AND IT'S SO LATEEE!"

8:41pm. "Are you five? He didn't even ask. He's here with a big bag… oh no he's staying all weekend."

8:42pm. "Welcome to the joys of living with Leo Valdez. I need sleep."

8:44pm. "You wouldn't need so much sleep if you didn't wake up so ridiculously early. How can you survive living with him all the time? He's been here two minutes and is now taking apart my security system. WHY IS HE HERE?"

8:46pm. "Nico, he read the texts about RARA."

8:50pm. "Oh shit. That also explains why he's making the security system recognise her DNA sequence so she can't leave."

8:53pm. "He does the same thing whenever someone from an abusive home arrives here so their parents or whoever abused them can't get in… how he got their DNA sequence I'll never know."

8:52pm. "I don't understand phones so Leo is practically a Star Trek character to me. RARA and Hazel are confused as to why he's here. But they actually tolerate Leo so they're happier than I am."

8:54pm "Have you seen his ears? He is a star trek character. Better you than me. I'm free for a night of construction noise!"

8:57pm. "He's telling me stories about you… I'm suddenly feeling like a much happier host."

9:00pm. "Oh god. I'm going to sleep. Leo better not have brought baby photos."

9:02pm. "He did. Some present photos as well. You really are blonde by the way."

9:04pm. "Oh no. BURN THEM! Or at least send me some of yours."

9:06pm. "They have been burnt and scattered into the wind."

11:03pm "HEY WILL! GUESS WHAT I FOUND! Nico thought he destroyed them all mwahaahaha."

11:07pm."What have I said about waking me up?"
11:09pm. "Please you're probably still awaking sexting Nico. Speaking of the vampire. *Inserts picture of fourteen year old Nico dressed as Dracula*

11:11pm. "OH MY GOD! IS THAT NICO?"
11:11pm "I wish for a transformer."

11:12pm "Anyway yeah that's Neeks… do you think he's cute? I better be best man at the wedding."

11:13pm "WHAT? NO!... okay maybe a little. DON'T TELL HIM!"
11:15pm. "Mwahaha I knew it. One sec."

11:17pm. *Sends photo of Italian boy lying upside down on couch, giving camera the middle finger.*

11:19pm. "HOLY SHITBALLS!"
11:21pm. "So you think he's hot? You should also know: he owns a leather jacket and has an accent."

11:24pm. "I hate you so much. I must sleep. My phone is off."

11:26pm. "Have sweet dreams of your boyfriend!"

Chapter Text

7:11am. "HELP ME LOU! I can't stop looking at the photo of Nico Leo sent me."

7:14am. "WOW BACK THE FUCK UP! Why does Leo have a photo of your sexting buddy?"

7:15am. "Turns out they go to school together. I'll send it to you now *sends photo of Nico pulling finger*

7:19am. "HIM. MY. BED. NOW."

7:21am. "Lou. You're a lesbian."

7:26am. "Not anymore. That fucker is hot."

7:29am. "Uh huh well as someone who actually does like boys HELLPPPP!"

7:31am. "Aww you have a crush! I can't blame you. Just wow… are his eyes black? I didn't know that was possible. And he's upside down. Holy Hogwarts you can see his abs. Yep definitely questioning my sexuality.

7:33am. "Back on topic! What do I do?"
7:36am. "Do I have to give you the talk? I can give you some safe sex pamphlets."

7:41am. "NOT ON THAT! Besides he's my friend, and in another state AND STRAIGHT!"
7:43am. "Dude. Did he ever say he's straight? Has he mentioned a girlfriend? (even if he has mentioned girls he could be bi or pan) and on the state thing Leo literally gets a bus there every day.

7:48am. "No… we haven't talked about anything like that. Apart from wonder woman sneaking through his window every night

7:51am. "Kinky. Just ask him! Or if you're too shy ask Leo."

7:53am. "I'M NOT ASKING LEO! (Or Nico) Leo would tease me mercilessly. I might as well write Will hearts Nico on my maths book.

7:55am. "Do you heart him?"

7:58am. "NO! He's just hot. I don't know why I care so much. I don't even know him in person.

8:00am. "Whatever, as long as I'm the best maid at your wedding."

8:02am. "That's not a thing and there's not going to be a wedding."

8:03am. "Keep telling yourself that."

12:00pm "Apparently Leo sent you a photo of me. That little elf is going to pay.

12:02pm. "Do you want me to delete it? And you saw me so it's only fair."

12:04pm. "No, it's fine. Eh fair point but still. Plus you posed for those .I wasn't prepared."

12:06pm. "I will accept more photos :D"

12:10pm. "Not happening. I hate photos, I look like the living dead."

12:14pm. "LIAR! You're skin is so olivey. Plus I hear there's an accent…"
12:16pm. "Yep killing Leo. And you're so tanned… like do you ever go inside?"

12:18pm. "Sadly. I usually don't even have to say where I'm from people just guess California."

12:19pm. "Because you practically have surfer written on your forehead."

12:21pm. "True true. I admit I was disappointed about one thing in your photo…:"
12:22pm. "My hand gesture? Because I think It was pretty appropriate."

12:24pm. "Not that. I imagine you constantly glaring and giving people the finger anyway. I COULDN'T SEE YOUR TATTOOS!"

12:26pm. "Oh gods. That's kind of on purpose. Hazel doesn't know… she never can. I'd have to be shirtless to see them, something I'm never letting happen."

12:28pm. "Disappointing."
12:31pm. "I meant the tattoos not you being shirtless."

12:34pm. "Sure you do. I have a confession to make… one of the photos Leo showed me of you were surfing therefore shirtless."

12:36pm. "HE. IS. DEAD."

12:39pm. "I just pushed him down the stairs for you."

12:41pm. "I hope you're joking since you live in a mansion."
12:43pm. "Don't worry. He asked me to. He wanted to go down the stairs on the surf boards he stole off you."

12:44pm. "You need a new surf board by the way."

12:46pm. "Yep dead. I was wondering where that was..."
12:50pm. "By the way you have officially confused Rainbow's sexuality."

12:53pm. "Uh… thanks? Not my type though. And may I comment on you calling a lesbian rainbow?"

12:55pm. "I hadn't actually thought of that….

12:57pm "Aren't you a fan of nutjobs with purple hair? (at least I think it's still purple)

12:59pm. "Not a fan of girls."

12:59pm. "Oh. I'm Pansexual."

1:02pm. "Oh. Leo's mocking suddenly makes even more sense."

1:04pm. "He and Rainbow are planning our wedding in disturbing detail. Apparently Rainbow's the best maid and Leo's your man of honour."

1:06pm. "I think they're a bit confused. Plus Leo is not my man of honour. That would require him having honour."

1:08pm. "Considering how good his Zuko impression is ,I agree."

1:12pm. "Please I look more like Zuko. He's more of a Sokka."

1:04pm. "Considering his love of building weapons I agree."

1:06pm. "Well there's like one blonde person in avatar so I'm no one. "

1:09pm. "Yeah… I don't see you becoming the moon."

1:11. "I should go. Cecil and Lou are dragging me to the mall."

1:14pm. "Ugh people."

1:16pm. "You must be great at parties."

2:04pm -Apparently you've fallen madly in love with Leo's foster brother and I'm not allowed to be the man of honour. Why didn't you tell me?-

2:06pm. "Idiota. I'm not in love with anyone. I just text his foster brother a lot who happens to be queer and my type. I didn't tell you because I thought you'd freak out about texting a stranger."

2:09pm. –Yep I'll be best man. How long has this been going on for? And I would of had a good reason to-

2:11pm. "Only a few days. I don't like him."

2:13pm. -Do you think he's hot?-

2:15pm. *sends photo of Will*

2:17pm. -Wow he's blonde. Not my type (even if he were a girl) but you mentioned something about blondes once.-

2:19pm. "Yes he's fucking hot."

2:22pm. –Wow Leo is actually right about something.-

2:24pm. "I haven't even met him. Not crushing, that never ends well."

2:26pm. -Percy was straight. This guy is not-

2:28pm. "Still. Just because he likes boys it doesn't necessarily mean he'd ever like me. Besides he lives in California!"

2:30pm -So does Leo but he flirts with every girl in our school.-

2:32pm. 'Whatever. I don't want to talk about this."

2:34pm. -I'm thinking a June wedding.-

2:36pm. 'Go fuck yourself, Grace."

2:37pm. "I have Piper for that."

2:39pm "You disgust me."

4:02pm. "My father is such a fucking piece of shit."
4:06pm. "How sweet. Any particular reason for this shitiness?"

4:09pm. "He found out that Wonder Woman and Leo are staying with us (she's practically lived here for three years) and he got all pissed. He only notices because Leo blew up one of the statues of Hades we keep in the manor."

4:11pm. "Statues of Hades? Does your father also worship Satan? And how did he not notice?

4:15pm. "Only on Mondays and Fridays. Our mansion is huge. He rarely leaves his study."

4:17pm. "Lovely."

4:20pm. "Anyway meaning mad about that is slightly understandable but then he started yelling that they need to leave and wouldn't even listen when I tried to explain that Leo lives a state over and Reyna can't go home. Hazel and Persephone managed to talk him into letting them stay, but still an asshole."

4:22pm. "That does suck. Not to be rude but what kind of a name is Persephone? How obsessed Is your father with mythology?"

4:24pm. "It kind of runs in the family. And Persephone is my step mother."

4:29pm. "Just be glad you weren't named Hercules or Perseus."

4:32pm. "I'm actually laughing so hard right now omg."

4:35pm "What's so funny?"

4:39pm. "Kelp Head. His real name is Perseus."

4:42pm. "OH MY GOD! Who would give that name to a child?"

4:47pm. "His father Poseidon. My father Hades and him used to be good friends… they hate each other now."

4:51pm. "That explains the Hades statues. Please tell me there's another old friend named Zeus."

4:55pm. "Almost. Superman's father is called Jupiter."

4:59pm "Are you serious? Did they meet through a club called my parents hate me."

5:02pm "Probably. Honestly I'm just glad I wasn't named by my father. I probably would have been named Thantos."

5:04pm "I'm oddly disappointed you're not to be honest."

5:07pm. "That's what Percy (Kelp Head) said. Apparently it's not fair."

5:11pm. "I just realized something. Your father's name is Hades and your step mother's Persephone… did he kidnap her?"

5:13pm. "Her mother sure acts like he did."

5:15pm. "Please tell me her name is Demeter."

5:18pm "Her name is Demeter."

5:19pm "I am so happy."

5:20pm "Your family is amazing."

5:22pm. "They're completely insane. Hazel is the only tolerable one."

5:24pm. "I like insane. I've has a few foster families over the years, the best people are insane."

5:26pm. "Well Leo's your foster brother so I can definitely see that. And normal is boring."

5:29pm. "Houdini's forcing me to go out. He'll probably try and poison me with McDonalds."

5:33pm "Oh. Is he your boyfriend?"

5:35pm. "Why? Are you jealous? I'm kidding. Houdini's straight and not my type."

5:37pm. "Of course not! And what is your type?"

5:42pm. "Um… dark hair, Lou says I have a thing for bad boys, Um accents are cute."

5:45pm. "Lets see: Dark hair- check. Bad boy- check. Accent- check. Sunspot, am I your type?"

5:48pm. "Please you're a dork who loves mythology and avatar. Not a bad boy. And I haven't heard you talk before and have barely seen you."

5:50pm. "I've beat up three people since we started texting. Bad boy. And just because you can't see and hear them they still exist."

5:52pm. "What's your type then?"

5:52pm. "Not Kelp Head."

5:53pm. "Sorry running joke. I like blonde hair, blue eyes, nothing like me, dorks are cute and obviously boys."

5:56pm. "Hmm sounds familiar. Let's see: Blonde hair-check, blue eyes- check, nothing like you- check, dorky- according to Lou yes, Boy- check."

5:59pm. "Look at that. We're each other's type."

6:03pm. "So we are."

6:05pm. "I really should go. Houdini's glaring at me. I think my wallet's missing….again."

6:07pm. "You need new friends."
6:11pm. "Something I tell myself every day."

Chapter Text

7:32am. "THEY HAVE A FREAKIN FRENCH CHEAFFEUR! HE CALLED ME SIR!"

7:35am. "That's great, Leo. But you do realize Jules Albert has to call you that?"

7:48am. "Jarvis loves me shush. And How do you know his name? Does Nico spend all day texting you about ever detail of his life?"

7:50am "Not every moment... he only mentioned Jules Albert once."

7:52am. "YOU LIKE HIM!"

7:54am. "Nope. Jarvis is too old for me."

7:55am. "You know who I'm talking about!When are you idiots going to realize that you're hard for each other?"
7:59am. "Shut up. Just because we're both queer doesn't mean we like eachother."

8:00am. "I know that dude. You like each other because you text constantly and turn matching shades of pink whenever the other is mentioned."

8:02am. "I am so done with you. Can't we talk about your love of the week?"

8:05am. "CAYLPSO AND I ARE FOREVER!"

8:07am. "Uh huh. I'm at the surfing shop now. (As someone broke my favourite broad.)"

8:10am. "Not my fault Nico pushed me down the stairs while I happened to be holding it."

8:13am. "You asked him to."

8:15am. "But he was very happy to do it."

8:17am. "BYE LEO!"

8:21am. "Not even your rudeness can ruin my good mood. THEY HAVE A FUCKING SNACK BAR IN THEIR LIMO!"

8:23am. "Better than waking up at 5am every morning for a four hour drive?"

8:25am. "Definitely. That was not my best idea."

8:27am. "Well at least you now have rich friends to give you rides in Limo's."

8:30am. "Exactly! Came for the astrophysics department, stayed for the snack bar."

8:32am. "Got to go."

8:32am. "Ugh same."

11:13am. "I am once again on my way to the princibles office."

11:15am. "Why do I feel you live there?"

11:16am. "There may or may not be my name written on the back of the chair in sharpie."

11:17am. "But of course. What did you do this time? It's not even lunch."

11:19am. "I had Italian class, which I never talk in and never hand in homework. My teacher tried to call me out as an idiot who knows no Italian."
11:20am. "Oh dear."

11:23am"He told me to say anything in Italian, anything at all if I had actually paid enough attention to know. I may have said a long speech in fluent Italian about what he should do with his ruler."

11:25am. "I'm sure he was very impressed."

11:27am. "He turned purple with pride over his ability to teach me Italian. Wise Girl then pointed out that I was born and raised in Italy."

11:30am. "You should write a book. Nico (insert last name here) a list of reasons why I've been sent to the principles office."

11:32am. "It shall be in Italian so that my dumbass Italian teacher can read it."

11:35am. "Got to go. Mr D is waiting with congratulatory wine over my gift in Italian."

11:37am. "That's nice of him."

12:14pm. "HEEEYYYYYY! MR D HAS GOOD WINE!"

12:16pm. "Holy shit you weren't kidding about that."

12:19pm. "NOOPPPE! He was kind enough to share! I didn't even get dentnion, he high foured me."

12:23pm. "I think you mean high five. If I wasn't worried about your education I sure am now."

12:29pm. "Nah Mr D's pet Leopard bit his pinky off last year so high four."

12:31pm. "Maybe he shouldn't have kept a pet leopard."

12:33pm. "There's so much wrong with him I stopped being surprised a while ago tbh."

12:35pm. "You can tell you're drunk because you're using text language."

12: 39pm. "Nah, not drunk… JUUUSTTT TIPPSY!"

12:41pm. "Drunk and an idiot. A drunken idiot."

12:43pm. "You like it. I know ya do. I am your type after all."

12: 45pm. "Don't forget I'm your type too."

12:48pm. "YEP! You are fucking hot. You're eyes are so blue… like HOOOWWW?"

12:50pm. "Yep definitely drunk. And your eyes are black which I didn't think was possible. Anyway different topic so you don't regret saying anything."

12:52pm. "IM A DEMON! AND BOOOOO!"

12:54pm. "I have texted Leo to have someone find your drunken ass."

12:56pm. "Is it a cute drunken ass?"
12:59pm. "I'm not answering that."

1:01pm. "SO YES? Yours is probably cute… I haven't actually met you. Ugh, Wonder woman is now yelling at me for getting drunk."

12:42pm. "If I didn't know that's RARA I'd think you're hallucinating."

1:03pm. "BLEH Reyna's making me drink lots of water. I WANT COKE!"

12:45pm. "Considering you just got drunk with your principle I'm not sure what kind you mean. And is Reyna RARA?"

1:07pm. "Yes I am. I have now taken the drunken idiot's phone while trying to sober him enough for a student council meeting."

1:10pm. "He's a member of the student council? He seems more like the type to fill the student council meeting room with spiders than actually attend."

1:12pm. "It's by force. Annabeth would have a heart attack if that happened."

1:14pm. "I know nobody's real name so I'm clueless."

1:16pm. "Wise Girl or Owl head then. She's Kelp Head's girlfriend, my vice president and terrified of spiders."

1:19pm "Speaking of your leadership. You need a new principle."

1:23pm. "I am very aware. By the way, your boyfriend is reaching for the phone so I'll be gone soon."

1:25pm. "Not my boyfriend."

1:28pm. "I'm back and slightly more sober. I'm so so sorry about before. Drunk me is an idiot."

1:31pm. "It's fine. When's student council?"

1:35pm. "Now. If they all didn't think I'm a confused stoner who couldn't find the right room, the stench of alcohol won't help."

1:39pm. "So this isn't a regular occurrence?"
1:41pm. "Mr D usually refuses to share his wine. And we're talking about a dance. Ugh why am I here?"
1:43pm. "TO SUPPORT REYNA! And don't you like dances?"

1:46pm. "Can you really see me dancing? And ugh guess what theme Kelp Head just suggested?"
1:16pm. "Under the sea?"

1:49pm. "Correct. Ugh Reyna's trying to get me involved. I suggested Zombie apocalypse. They said no."

1:51pm. "Disappointing. It actually would have looked really cool to be honest. As a member of the student council don't you have to go?"

1:59pm. "Tragically. I plan on spending the entire night in a shadowey corner glaring at the couples and texting."

2:02pm. "Don't you have a boyfriend? Or at least any boy in the school you can stand?"

2:05 pm. "Nope and nope. Or at least not one I like in that way. I'll probably be dragged in a friend group of singles with Reyna and Leo."

2:07pm. "I thought Leo had Calypso this week?"

2:10pm. "She hates him. It's hilarious."

2:13pm. "Decided on the theme yet?"

2:18pm. "Nope. Percy suggested under the sea again, Leo wanted robots, Drew wants red carpet. Oh Annabeth just suggested Greeks and Romans. That actually sounds interesting."

2:21pm. "It does. So like robes and togas? Maybe you can go as your father."

2:29pm "Not funny (though he does have a striking resemblance to a skeleton) everyone seems to like it. Hmm maybe this won't be so bad."

2:32pm. "You really are a geek."

2:36pm. "Shut it. And I'll be a Greek, not a geek."

2:42pm. "Har har. Very funny. You hungover yet?"

2:45pm "My head feels like it's been smashed like a water mallon. I am never drinking again."

2:47pm. "I somehow doubt that."

2:48pm. "Fine, I'm never taking alcohol from Mr D again. I'm pretty sure he adds a little something extra. And I am free of council and now In maths. I don't think the teacher likes me for some reason."

2:59pm. "Apparently Mr D missed me because I am once again on my way to his office."

3:00pm. "DON'T TAKE THE WINE! And you should just move in."

3:02pm. "I won't. Before you ask I just replied to his comment on us using math class as lunch and playing on our phones with: you're right, Lunch has better food. Your pi is shit. Honestly he's overreacting. Though I had already made a comment about math being mental abuse to humans."

3:04pm. "Write that book. I will buy it."

3:05pm. "You don't know italian."
3:06pm. "Good translate is my friend."

3:08pm. "Good translate makes less sense than Mr D being in charge of children."

3:10pm. "I have to go, even if it's pointless. There's like ten minutes left of school."

3:12pm. "Good luck and keep away from the leopard and don't take any alcohol."

3:13pm. "Yes mother."

3:23pm. "No detention again. Honestly what is the point of him?"

3:25pm. "To drunkenly give students wine?"

3:27pm. "It was delicious. And I'm going to Percy's and his house is a water hazard so I won't be texting."

3:29pm. "How could a house be a water hazard? Our phones are waterproof."

3:31pm. "There's a moat, a pool on every floor, and three water slides."
3:33pm. "CAN I COME?"
3:35pm. "It's a four hour drive so no."

3:37pm. "True true. Have fun in the water park Kelp Head calls a house."

3:39pm. "I'll be the one taking the stairs and moving furniture in front of the people going down the slide."

3:41pm. "SO MEAN!"

3:43pm. "Always."

Chapter Text

7:31am. "I hate Percy's house. All they have are fucking water beds."

7:35am. "You are not allowed to complain about having to sleep in a water bed. Next you'll be complaining about your golden shoes being heavy."

7:37am. "Golden shoes are impractical. Black combat boots on the other hand are excellent."

7:40am. "Why do you hate his house? IT SOUNDS AWESOME!"

7:41am. "Because he lives in a bloody water park with a kitchen, which you can only access with a water slide. I hate water slides."

7:42am. "You have no soul. Percy's father is adopting me."

7:45am. "All the more reason not to visit."

7:48am. "Meanie. And his father really is embracing the Poseidon isn't he?"

7:50am. "We're pretty sure he actually is Poseidon."

7:52am. "Does that make your father Hades then?"

7:54am. "Definitely. I would make a great demigod."

7:56am. "GRKUHF ERGHLYG"

7:59am. "SOMEONE JUST TURNED THE STAIRS BACK INTO A WATER SLIDE! MY LEATHER JACKET IS RUINED!"
8:02am "You poor little punk. AND THE STAIRS TURN INTO WATER SLIDES?"

8:04pm. "Yep. Poseidon has the switch, and he hates me. I didn't know he was the one coming down the slide when I moved a chair in front of it yesterday."

8:06pm. "You are a horrible person."

8:08pm. "A horrible person who needs to get changed again. I hate Percy."

8:10pm. "How is he ever dry?"

8:12pm. "He's not. He embraces it."

8:14pm. "But of course."

8:21pm"I see you texting loverboy."

8:23pm. "I'm in the front with the driver, you moron. Why are you texting me?"

8:24pm. "Because I refuse to leave the perfection of the spa pool. You two dating yet?"
8:26pm. "I still can't believe your limo is a spa on wheels. I hate you. Me and Will are just friends."

8:28pm "You're just jelly. Who mentioned Will? And if you're friends then why were you blushing so much yesterday when texting him."

8:30pm. "How did you notice that but you didn't notice that I had a crush on you for years? And I was drunk."

8:32pm. "I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU'RE GAY! And what did Annabeth say about taking anything from Mr D. And please tell me you drunkenly flirted with him cuz that would be halareus."

8:34pm. "Annabeth wasn't a boy, yet you didn't notice her either. He's a drunken imbicile. I will not admit anything."

8:35pm. "YOU SO FLIRTED WITH HIM! DID HE FLIRT BACK?"
8:38pm. "I'm avoiding looking at my drunken messages in fear of dying on embarrassment. He did not flirt back because he does not like me."

8:41pm. "OMG HE SO FLIRTED WITH YOU! AND WHY DIDN'T YOU MENTION YOU'RE HIS TYPE!"

8:43PM. "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?"

8:46pm. "Dude Leo made both your phones. I just had him send all your messages to me."

8:50pm. "Haven't any of you ever heard of privacy? And that's nothing."

8:52pm. "Dude, he might as well have sworn his undying love for you."

8:54pm. "DUDE WHY DID YOU HAVE JARVIS DROP YOU OFF?"
8:58pm. "Because you just flooded half the car. I ALREADY HAD TO CHANGE THREE TIMES!"

8:59pm. "Board shorts are my best friend."

9:00pm. "Because no one else puts up with you."

9:01pm. "Meanie."

11:04pm. "Guess who actually attended PE today?"

11:05pm. "What did you do?"

11:08pm. "You have so little trust in me."

11:10pm. "I wonder why."

11:12pm. 'The school pool may be filled with blue dye. Every person in our class (except me) are now completely blue."

11:15pm. "Oh my god. How is Mr D today?"

11:17pm. "Passed out drunk. Sadly the deputy principle Mr Chiron is talking to me instead. He actually knows what he's doing."

11:20pm. "Passed out? It's not even midday! And thanks to you I have become alarmingly good at hiding my phone from teachers."

11:23pm. "YES! I've been suspended! And it's 9pm somewhere."

11:25pm. "SUSPENDED?"

11:27pm. "Yep, no school for a week. I am so heartbroken."

11:31pm. "Has your father been called?"

11:34pm. "Jules Albert is here to pick me up. Thank gods I don't have to ride the spa on wheels again."

11:37pm. "I'm so jealous right now. Should I expect a blue Leo back today?"

11:40pm "A blue Leo with Avatar tattoos drawn on him. Apparently my revenge backfired, and him and Percy are very happy with their makeover. The rest of the class however…"

11:42pm. "I better be invited to your funeral."

11:45pm. "As if you own anything black. Which by the way will also be the colour scheme if I get married."

11:47pm. "Considering everyone seems to think I'll be the other groom. No way in Hell or Hogwarts would I let that happen."

11:51pm. "Hogwarts? Are you a Potterhead, Glowstick?"

11:55pm. "Maybe… it's just so interesting! Especially the Marauder years."

11:57pm. "I admit Remus is my favourite. Anyway I have to go. I'm home and father is waiting for me with a lecture. Lovely."

11:59pm. "YAY YOU KNOW HARRY POTTER! And what did you expect dyeing your class blue?"

12:02pm. "Shut up."

1:14pm. "YOU ARE A DEAD MAN DI ANGELO!"

1:16pm. "Hello Annabeth. How are you today? I must say you looked stunning earlier."

1:18pm. "According to Percy blue suits me, but he thinks it suits Pizza. YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!"

1:20pm. "I am merely an innocent victim."

1:23pm. "YOU'RE NOT EVEN BLUE! Except your hands!"

1:25pm. "My circulation has been cut off from texting too much. I don't swim… though I have been suspended."

1:31pm. "GOOD! Mr D bothered with the paper work?"

1:34pm. "No, he was passed out drunk. Mr Chiron did."

1:36pm. "He's getting worse. Just like you and your ridiculous pranks."

1:40pm. "Leo's the prankster. I just occasionally break the rules."

1:42pm "So you're not the one who moved all the furniture in Mr D's office onto the roof with a passed out Mr D on the couch."

1:44pm. "That was Leo's idea, and we did that two weeks ago. He still hasn't notice. Why do you think it takes me so long to get to his office?"

1:46pm. "You're an idiot. I'm going to go take twelve showers."

1:51pm. "Won't work. It's supposed to last two weeks… I'm guessing."

1:53pm. "DEAD MAN!"

3:04pm"Been lectured yet?"

3:08pm. "Several times. You'd think I did something wrong."

3:11pm. "Don't you have a dance coming up? Because unless you go with Percy's suggested of under the sea most people don't want to be blue."

3:15pm. "Percy sure wants to be. When I was leaving I saw him swimming in the pool again, while Superman and Wonder Woman tried to pull him out only to fall in."

3:19pm. "Your friends are going to murder you in your sleep."

3:21pm. "I am suddenly thankful for Leo's security system. Wait Reyna's still staying here… I'm doomed. Oh no blue Reyna is walking in. I leave everything to Hazel and Mrs O'Leary."

3:24pm. "Don't I get anything? What's the point in having rich friends? And who's Mrs O'Leary."

4:01pm. "I'm alive and Mrs O'Leary is Percy's dog."

4:03pm. "Such good priorities you have."

4:07pm. "She's a monstrous sweetheart. We're pretty sure she's a cross between a bear and a hell hound."

4:09pm. "I thought Percy would have fish…"

4:11pm. "His father owns several aquariums and water parks."

4:15pm. "Of course he does."
4:18pm. "I got to go. I'm about to get in the water."

4:21pm. "Ugh swimming."

4:23pm. "Surfing actually."

4:25pm. "Still water."

6:03pm. "Hey Leo. You back yet?"
6:05pm. "Of course not. I have like two hours left. I should move in with Percy."

6:07pm. "I'll join you. Anyway I won't be home when you get back. I'm in the hospital."

6:08pm. "Please tell me you're just hanging around and correcting the doctor's techniques again."

6:10pm. "I wiped out on my board and scraped by leg on one of the rocks. I just need a few stitches and the doctor is doing it wrong."

6:13pm. "Dude, are you alright?"

6:15pm. "Yeah. I'll be fine if the doctor doesn't give me poison instead of anaesthetic."

6:19pm. "You are the worst patient ever."

6:21pm. "That's what the doctor keeps muttering."

6:24pm. "You're not even going to get to see me!"

6:28pm. "You look like an avatar. Nico told me, besides Nico said it lasts two weeks. Enjoy."

6:30pm. "Oh shit."

6:34pm. "Did he tell you that they forgot to close the pool for the rest of classes? And free swim at lunch. Half the school is blue and I am so happy."

6:46pm. "He was suspended before he could find out. I'll mention it when I tell him about the stitches."

6:50pm. "Aww getting comfort from your boyfriend?"

6:53pm. "Shut up. Wait aren't you on the bus? Has anyone commented on your makeover?"
6:55pm. 'I spent half the day working on the costume to perfection. A couple people screamed and another said: take me to your leader. I love people."

6:58pm. "How are you and Nico friends?"

7:01pm. "It's more a mutual love of trouble making and toleration. Ask him what we did to Mr D's office two weeks ago."

7:03pm. "I'm scared. Speaking of which the so called doctor is done."

7:05pm. "Same. I gotta change buses again."

7:24pm "I thought you would like to know your principle forgot to close the pool so now the majority of your school is blue."

7:27pm. "Oh gods. There will be an angry mob of smurfs after me."

7:30pm. "Send photos of the angry smurf mob please."

7:32pm. "I am so glad I'm not going back to school for a week. And will do if they don't kill me first."

7:36pm. "Leo has taken advantage of his makeover and has spent the day scaring bus drivers."

7:40pm. "Oh no. He finished his avatar costume didn't he?"

7:43pm. "Apparently."

7:46pm. "Wouldn't he be home by now?"

7:52pm. "I'm sort of in the hospital."

7:54pm. "WHAT? ARE YOU OKAY?!"

7:58pm. "It was just a little surfing accident. I'll be back at school in a couple days with stitches and crutches."

8:01pm. "Great when you get back to school everyone will be worried, which I get back they'll be murderous."

8:04pm. "Maybe you shouldn't make smurfified half the school."

8:07pm. "Firstly that's not a word. Secondly I only meant to dye my class (meaning Leo and Percy)

8:10pm. "You mean the only two people happy with this?"
8:13pm. "I didn't think it through very well."

8: 15pm. "Suns down. I'm going to try and sleep now."

8:18pm. "INSANE!"

8:20pm. "I'm pretty sure that' not Italian for goodnight."

8:24pm. "Buonanotte e buona fortuna a dormire senza la tua luce per la note."

8:25pm. "Thanks! Wait what did that mean?"

Chapter Text

11:34am "Morning."

11:36am. "Wait did I actually wake up before you? I am oddly proud of this."

11:38am. 'Shut up. It was the anaesthetic. I think my doctor gave me extra to shut me up."

11:40am. "Smart doctor."

11:42am. "You're meant to be nice to injured people."

11:45am. "Meh. I'm never nice, why start now?"

11:47am. "Because you want to be a mortician. You can't exactly be an jerk when telling people their loved ones are dead."

11:47am. "All this stupid paper work! Why couldn't your dumbass sister have looked before crossing the road? Now I have to do the autopsy! Stupid dead bitch."

11:50am. "The odds were not in your brother's favour."

11:53pm. "This is a very serious situation. Speaking of Sirius, your God Father is also dead."

11:55am. "You're a horrible human being."

11:57am. "No. I'm a kind demon."

11:59am. "No. Crowley's a sweetheart. You're evil."

12:01pm. "Rude."

12:14pm. "Always."

12:16pm. "Anyway. How's suspension treating you?"
12:19pm. "Horrible! Turns out they still make you do the school work. On the bright (or even better dark) side I got to sleep in."

12:21pm. "You dyed half the school blue. Did you really expect a holiday?"
12:24pm. "More hoped."

"12:27pm. "I just remembered something. What did you do to Mr D's office with Leo?"

12:29pm. "The reason it takes me twenty minutes to get to his office. It's now on the roof."

12:31pm. "I don't even know why I'm surprised anymore. Wouldn't it be back down by now? Leo said it was two weeks ago."

12:24pm. "He is blissfully unaware and drunk."

12:27pm. "HOW DOES HE GET DOWN? HOW IS HE ALIVE?"
12:29pm. "We put up baby bars. He doesn't."

12:32pm. "But…but…"

12:34pm. "Leo brings him his supply of liquor and food every day and raw meat for his Leopard. Other than that… well people avoid standing around the roof."

12:37pm. "I am disgusted and curious how you got a Leopard onto the roof."

12:39pm. "Apparently Leo stole anaesthetic off his foster brother. I think I know who now."

12:42pm. "HE STOLE HALF MY SUPPLY!"

12:45pm. "It's a damn big Leopard."

12:48pm. "Rich kids."

12:51pm. "Leo's not rich."

12:54pm. "He's just special."

12:56pm. "I got to go. Jules Albert is taking me to McDonalds for lunch."

12:59pm. "Ew."

1:01pm. "Delicious."

1:16pm "LA LA LA LA LA LA SING A HAPPY SONG! LA LA LA LA LALA SMURF THE WHOLE DAY LONG! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!"

1:19pm. "Why do I think you've been singing that all day?"

1:21pm. "CORRECT! I don't think my bus driver likes my singing… Most of the school is dressed in all white (including moi) and hats SO WE'RE A SMURF ARMY! One of the teachers who wasn't here yesterday screamed when she saw her class for the day."

1:25pm "Why don't I go to your school?"

1:27pm "Because you didn't apply and don't want to drive four hours every day. Your grades are almost as good as mine."

1:19pm "Better actually. I do the tests. You draw cartoons in the margins."

1:23pm "IT'S BORING!"

1:25pm "I swear you're the poster child for ADHD."

1:27pm "Nah apparently I can't sit still long enough to take a photo."

1:31pm "But of course."

3:14pm. "What did you do to Candice? Her eyebrows are permanently in her hair line."

3:16pm. "I may have come home chanting and waving a staff. Since then she has had a permeant expression of disbelief and where did I find this child? Btw the bus driver is done with my shit and won't take the Smurf home. Apparently there are some mushrooms around the corner."

3:18pm. "Candice and I are laughing so hard right now. Have a fun walk."

3:20pm. "Shut the smurf up. I'm staying at Jason's."

3:22pm. "Apparently he won't let me near his father's airport. I'm a danger to everyone on the plane when I start… fixing."

3:24pm. "Jason's father owns the biggest airline company in America right?"

3:26pm. "Yep Jupiter Airlines. They banned me "

3:28pm. "Wait Jupiter… SUPERMAN! I know his secret identity!"

3:31pm. "Yep! Clark Kent's also one of Angel's best friends."

3:34pm. "That's the most inaccurate name for Nico I've ever heard. Oh Candice just told me to tell you that you should avoid all special mushrooms, Mr Smurf."

3:37pm. "OH IT'S ACCURATE!"

3:39pm "Such a nice foster mother we have."

3:41pm. "She told me to send you glaring emoji's for that so -_-"

3:43pm. "MEAN FOSTER MOMMY! Anyway the limo's here. I love my friends."

3:45pm. "I do too."

3:47pm. "Oh I know you do ;)"

3:50pm. "Shush Tool Head."

4:12pm. "-Hey Neeks! Leo's staying over. You want to visit as well?-"

4:14pm. "How is mentioning Leo being there meant to get me to visit? If anything I might accidently set your house on fire."

4:17pm. "-Please that kid's fire proof. Leo's your friend! Admit it! You spend too much time with him not to-"

4:19pm. "Most of that time is spent beating him up and insulting each other. He's tolerable I suppose."

4:23pm. "You'll have to get used to him for when you marry his brother. Anyway we're going sky diving. You should come."

4:26pm. "You spend half your life in the air. I on the other hand prefer my feet firmly on my ground. I'M NOT MARRYING ANYONE!"

4:31pm "Sure sure. Anyway this time we're flying smurfs. Thanks for that by the way."

4:33pm. "I can feel the sarcasm. It's your fault you fell in trying to get Percy out."

4:35pm. "Your fault you used blue dye. Percy was practically skipping around school."

4:39pm. "Well I have enough black dye to fill an Olympic swimming pool, but I thought that would be a bit obvious."

4:41pm. "-Leo wants to know whether you just have it in a giant pool in your basement and throw everything you own in and fish it out so it's all a matching shade of black.-"

4:33pm. "Not yet."

4:35pm. "-As long as I don't get thrown in that pool. And are you coming over?"

4:42pm. "I guess. BUT NO SKYDIVING! And can I bring Reyna. She's staying here too."

4:45pm. "-Of course! You both know you're welcome anytime."

4:47pm. "I don't think your father and step mother share that sentiment."

4:49pm. "-Hera doesn't even like me being here-"

4:51pm. "Our families are all so well named."

4:53pm. "-If so I'd be named Hercules-."

4:56pm. "Hera would have loved that. Anyway I'll ask Reyna if she wants to visit. Wait I just remembered the security system… send Leo."

5:01pm. "Will do."

7:05pm. "CHILDREN ARE DEMONS!"

7:08pm. "Odd, my old nanny Laura used to say the exact same thing."

7:10pm. "Why are you near children anyway? Shouldn't you be resting your leg?"

7:14pm. "Look whose starting to sound like a doctor. I am, but Houdini had a date so I'm babysitting his evil brothers Travis and Conner, who from this point on I'll refer to as Gred and Forge."

7:17pm. "That bad?"

7:19pm. "That bad."

7:23pm. "FHagaotzyfoufwgwz"
7:28pm. "THE LITTLE MONSTERS PUT FROZEN MENTOS IN MY COCA COLA SO IT RANDOMLY EXPLODES! DEMONS!"

7:31pm. "Ah, the joys of children."

7:41pm. "Cleaned up, oh no they're drawing on the walls… they're actually pretty good. Anyway what are you doing?"

7:45pm. "Jason, Leo and Reyna are skydiving while I hang onto the plane and scream."

7:48pm. "Like… do you ever just go on Tumblr? Not even rich kids have this eventful lives."

7:50pm. 'What can I say? The lives of demigods. What's Tumblr?"

7:52pm. "Wait why are you sky diving after dark? Is that even legal?"

7:54pm. "Technically *they're* sky diving at sunset and like I know. We're on Jason's private plane. And they've already gone five times. I wish I could have seen the expressions of the people seeing three smurfs falling from the sky."

7:56pm. "And there goes Jason and Reyna again."
7:59pm. "Aren't you going to go?"

8:01pm "I'm were all the equipment for safety purposes and Leo's begging, but no way in Hades. I hate heights."

8:04pm. "Yet you're on a plane."

8:07pm. "Blame the smurfs."

SOCIOPATH IS CALLING.

SUNSPOT HAS ACCEPTED CALL.

"Why did you call me? And please censor yourself, there are children present."

"I'M NOT JUMPING OUT OF A FUCKING PLANE, TOOL BRAIN!"

"LALALALALALA."
"Um guys? And I said no swearing!"

"WILL! TELL YOUR ANGEL TO FLY"

"Oh do you call him Angel because of his tattoo?"

"HE HAS A TATTOO?"

"WILL? THE FUCK DID YOU DO LEO?"

"FLAME ON!"

*Air noise*

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"FUCK CAZZO FUCKING FOTTERE CAZZZO SHIT CRAP FUCKING! DEAD!"

"Wait? Did he just push you out of the plane?"

"WOOOOOOOOOO!"

"FUCK SHIT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS! VAI A FARTI FOTTERE!"

"PULL THE LINE NOW OR PANCAKE!"

*More air nose and swearing."

"SWEET BEAUTIFUL GROUND!"

"YOU'RE DEAD VALDEZ!"

"Wasn't that fun?"

"Still here. How didn't you drop your phone."

"I put it in my zipped pocket."

*sound of impact* "FUCKING HELL!"

"-WELL DONE, DUDE! I didn't think you'd jump. Why did you kick Leo in the nuts?-"

"I DIDN'T JUMP! THIS CAZZO PUSHED ME!"

*Two voices start yelling at Leo*

"How you doing, Nico?"

"Fucking pissed and never flying again."

"Would you like me to put spiders in Leo's bed for you?"

"That would be appreciated."

"Nice accent."

"Shut it, Ken doll."

"I SHIP IT!"

*voice behind Will* "What does Cazzo mean?"

'I think you failed in your babysitting."

"I'll call you back. I need to murder Leo."

"Understood."

Chapter Text

6:02am "Do I still have a foster brother?"

12:05pm. "Firstly fuck you for texting me so early and secondly I decided death was too kind. Has Houdini taken back his demon brothers?"

12:07pm. "Yep. He is now pestering me to babysit again next week NO WAY IN HELL OR HOGWARTS!"

12:10pm. "I can just tell how much you like children."

12:13pm. "I LOVE CHILDREN! Houdini's brothers are rare exceptions. If I didn't want to be a surgeon so much I'd become a paediatrician. I plan on having (or adopting) an army of children when I grow up."

12:15pm. "Yep our wedding is cancelled. Children are smelly annoying monsters."

12:19pm. "THEY'RE ADORABLE! How can you not like kids? And don't leave me! I already bought the dress!"

12:21pm. "It's over, and what you wear is your business but if anything puffy or lacey gets within ten feet of me, it will be burnt.

12:23pm "They vomit, they piss themselves, they shit themselves, and they cry. I am so glad Hazel's only a year younger than me. I might not have moved in if she were a baby."

12:25pm. "Right now it's just me and Leo but I used to have lots of little foster siblings to take care of. It was like running a day care, and you get used to the various smells are substances. Doctors can't have weak stomachs."

12:26pm. "And you know you love me. Our love is forever."

12:28pm. "Alright enough mocking. It almost makes me as sick as the thought of children."

1:03pm. "I have no problem with blood and gore, and I guess other questionable substances are bearable but the crying? I loathe it."

1:15pm. "Good, Rainbow saw it on my phone and won't stop grinning. I think the wedding has been moved ahead."
1:18pm. "If her and Leo don't stop the obsessing over us then I'll start planning their wedding, or to respect Lou's sexuality: Hers and Superman's sister.

1:21pm. "I've met that sister (she came over to beat the crap out of Leo for "fixing" her bow) she seems like Lou's type… anyway I got class."

1:25pm. "Class? You're injured! You have a free pass to ditch."

1:29pm. "Yeah well, SOMEBODY has been sending me flirty texts all week and I don't want to risk getting further behind than I already am."

1:32pm. "I. HAVE. NOT. BEEN. FLIRTING. And you flirt back!"

1:35pm. "You would make a horrible lawyer and read your drunk texts."

1:38pm. "Once again why I'm becoming a mortician. I've read them, shut up."

1:41pm. "I need to pay attention to this class. He's more boring than professor Binns."

1:43pm. "If you can stop flirting with me long enough."

1:46pm. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO FLIRTS!"

1:49pm. "Suureee."

4:06pm. "HEY NEEKS!"

4:09pm. "Go away, you mother fucking blue smurf."

4:13pm. "Thanks for that! You should have seen my parents face when I walked in. Mom looked amused and Dad looked jealous. Mwahaha businessmen can't be blue!"

4:17pm. "That's nice Percy, why are you texting me?"

4:21pm. "You're grumpy. Have you not been texting your boyfriend today?"

4:24pm. "Why are you all so obsessed with me and Will? And we may have been texting BUT HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! AND WE'RE NOT FLIRTING."

4:36pm. "I never said anything about flirting ;) YOU CAN TELL ME! Since I'm apparently not your type."

4:39pm. "ARE YOU STILL NOT OVER THAT?!

4:42pm. "IT HURT! How aren't I your type?"

4:45pm. "I'M A SEXY SMURF!"

4:49pm. "The fact you say shit like that is exactly why you're not my type

4:51pm. "And dumbass, you're straight as a ruler and have a girlfriend."

4:54pm. "True true. I love my smurfette."

4:56pm. "Ugh you disgust me."

5:01pm. "Why did I text you again?"
5:04pm. "That's what I've been asking, Kelp Head."
5:07pm. "RUUDDDEEE! And I meant to ask you if you're going to the party at Piper's on Saturday?"

5:10pm. "Piper despises parties, as do I."

5:13pm. "But her sister Drew doesn't. PLZZZ IT'LL BE FUN! IT'S THEME IS SEXY SMURFS!"

5:15pm. "So I'm not invited? How tragic."

5:19pm. "I'm sure Will thinks your very sexy, and don't worry you don't have to be a smurf to come."

5:21pm. "Too bad I'm not going anyway AND SHUT IT!"

Kelp Head has added RARA and Superman to conversation.

5:24pm -Why are we here?-"

5:26pm. "TO MAKE NEEKS COME TO THE PARTY!"

5:31pm. "I will tie you up and drag you."

5:34pm. "Reyna? Why are you going? YOU HATE DREW!"

5:37pm. "We all hate Drew."

5:41pm. "-As does Piper which is why we're going for moral support-"

5:44pm. "And the idea of sexy smurfs is too ridiculous to not go to. If anyone asks my text had a typo and I'll be a scary smurf, dressed in battle armour."

5:46pm. "No! NO! NO! I hate people, I hate drew, I hate that stupid smurf movie, and I hate popular music!"
5:49pm. "He really is positive."

5:52pm. "-You're the one who made of us all smurfs-"

5:54pm. "And Leo threw me out of a plane for it."
5:59pm. "-You tied him to the school flag pole in a pink frilly tutu this morning-"

6:03pm. "He shouldn't have thrown me out of a fucking plane."

6:04pm "You shouldn't have dyed him blue."

6:06pm. "Speaking of the pool incident, should I also wear armour to this party? I doubt the Plastic BAG's are very happy with me."

6:08pm. "So you've agreed to go to the party?"

6:10pm. "NO! And I have to go. My father's invited other some record company owner. Kill me now."
6:15pm. "HAVE FUN! REMEMBER TO FIND AN OUTFIT FOR THE PARTY!"

6:17pm. "I will be wearing my couch, and my date shall be my phone."

6:19pm. "-Meaning Will-"

6:23pm. "Oh great I have to have dinner with him too. I don't even live here."

6:15pm. "Something that can be fixed."

6:19pm. "HAVE FUN!"

6:21pm. "Go fuck a fish."

6:24pm. "RUDE!"

7:03pm. "Oh gods he's starting another Haiku. I may gouge my eyes out with my fork."

7:05pm "You'd still be able to hear him. At least he's not a stuck up prat like most of my father's associates."

7:08pm "No he's another member of the 'my parents hate me' club. Honestly what kind of a name is Apollo?"

7:10pm "Your father's name is Hades. You can't judge."

7:13pm "Honestly this man's tan looks even faker than yours."

7:14pm "I'm blue not tanned."

7:16pm "Exactly he's orange."

7:18pm. "Your boyfriend has the same tan as him."

7:21pm. "Will's is natural from a ridiculous amounts of surfing. Apollo just looks like a carrot. And should I even bother correcting that he's not my boyfriend?"

7:26pm. "It's pointless."

7:29pm. "I will admit, he does kind of look like Will. Especially around the eyes and nose."

7:32pm. "I think your father just saw us texting under the table."

7:38pm. "ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!"

7:59pm. "Hey sunshine, you set yet? You'll never guess which member of my father's 'my parents hate me' club is here."

8:03pm. "Yep! And there are so many Deities."

8:06pm. "I'll give you a clue. In his roman form he is very bright, ironically he sucks at poetry, loves music and left because he sleeps with the sun."

8:12pm. "Apollo? I like this guy. He understands appropriate sleeping times."

8:14pm. "Well he's a blonde, tanned dumbass. Just like you. He wanted me to take a photo with the smurf (Wonder woman)"

8:17pm. "CAN I SEE? The only smurf I've seen is Leo. And I admit I'm curious as to wonder woman's secret identity."

8:21pm. "Is that your way of asking to see what RARA looks like? You can't tell very well with the blue. And you don't ask for photos of me? What a horrible fiancé you are."

8:25pm. "Oh I want more photos of you I just have realistic expectations. Anyway smurfette please?"

8:27pm. *Sends photo of extremely tanned and blonde man with blue girl with a long dark blue braid, white robes, a white hat and a glare."

8:31pm. "Holy shit."

8:33pm. "She's very blue. I know."

8:45pm. "Who is he? Like what does he do? How old is he?"

8:47pm. "Why do you care? And I don't know, around 35, record producer."

8:52pm. "I got to go to bed. The suns been down for like an hour."

8:54pm. "Will? What happened?"
8:59pm. "Did I say something wrong?"

9:02pm. "Are you alright?"

Chapter Text

8:02am. "Leo, is Will alright?"

8:04am "Didn't your boyfriend text you good morning today?"

8:06pm. "Answer the question."

8:09pm. "Look who stopped denying your relationship. Seriously I don't know. He usually wakes me up the morning but I slept in today. I had to chase after the bus on my hover board. The bus driver gets more done with my shit every day."

8:11pm. "Speaking of my bus driver. I had to sneak onto the bus yesterday since SOMEBODY replaced all my clothes with a frilly tutu. He's muttered something about eating the mushrooms and closed the door!"

8:13am. "I didn't ask to know how much your bus driver hates you. Will was acting strange last night. Anything else odd?"

8:16am. "Did he get a little too kinky with your sexting? And nah he went straight to bed last night as usual and didn't wake me up. Haven't spoken to him."

8:19pm. "Whatever I'll just text him again."

8:21pm "And I'm here! See you in class…. Oh wait."

8:24pm. "I'm still smurfing suspended."

8:27pm. "Yes. Yes you are."

10:03am"Hey Lou."

10:05am "Sup glowstick. What did you write for question 7 In the algebra test?"

10:08am "I'm not telling you the answer!"

10:12am. "Then why did you text me in the middle of a test?"

10:14am. "Oh right, you're in a test. I'll text later."

10:17am. "Fuck maths, I'm failing anyway. What's up? You wouldn't be texting me in the middle of class if it wasn't important."

10:19am. "Well I was talking to Nico last night."

10:22am. "And he told you he's pregnant?"

10:25am. "Be serious!"

10:26am. "As Harry's godfather."

10:31am. "Anyway I was talking to Nico and he sent me a picture of their dinner guest and Wonder woman. *forwards photo*

10:35am. "I'm oddly disappointed wonder woman isn't wearing less clothes. I am curious about the blue though…"

10:37am. "Long story! Look at the man."

10:41am. "Merlin's saggy left ball cheek."

10:46am. "That sentence is a prime example of why you're failing health class."

10:49am. "HE LOOKS LIKE AN OLD YOU!"

10:52am. "Remember the photo my mother left me of her and my father. They are the same."

10:59am. "So Nico knows your dad? Shit."

11:03am. "His name's Apollo. He owns a record company and sucks at poetry."

11:06am. "Definitely your father (nice name btw. Does your grandma hate him?) What are you going to do?"

11:09am. "I don't know! I can't exactly just show up at his work and be like 'hey your my father!' he doesn't seem like the father type and he did abandon me. Maybe I should just forget it."

11:12am. "For all we know your mom didn't tell him or it was just a one night stand. You can't just forget about him."

11:15am. "I don't even know how to contact him. Nothing's changed."

11:17am. "What about Nico? What did he say? Maybe he can give you his number, if that fails Leo could hack him."

11:19am. "I haven't told him. After he sent me the pic I kind of freaked out and asked him lots of questions before saying I'm going to bed."

11:23am. "Maybe you should tell him. Or if you really want nothing to do with your father (which I doubt) then just forget it."

11:25am. "I think I'll tell him, but I'm not sure about Apollo yet."

11:27am. "Good choice, sunspot. And the fact your father's Apollo just makes that all the more brilliant."

11:29am. "Nico's father's name is Hades."

12:01pm. "So perfect!"

Sunspot is calling Sociopath.

Sociopath has accepted call.

" Hey Nico. Sorry about yesterday."

" It's fine. Are you alright?"

" You just kind of surprised me with that photo."

1:13pm. "Did his artificially whitened teeth blind you?"

1:15pm "When my mum gave me up she left a note and a picture of her and my father, idk so I could have something to remember them by. Apollo looks like an older version of the man in the photo."

" Fuck, so Apollo's your father? And you judged my father's name. I'm now looking at one of the photos of you Leo left me and his photo and shit you look alike."
"You kept the photos of me?"

" NO! Maybe… Shut up! Okay so what are you going to do? I guess I can find Apollo's number somehow."

" I don't know. It's not exactly like he found me, he probably wants nothing to do with me. I don't even know if I want to know him."

" Look Will, I felt the same way when the police officer found me and told me I have a family. My father may not be the great, but he's my father. And Apollo may not seem like the most traditional guy, but he's not a bad guy (if you can stand bad haiku's) And even if your dad isn't that great you would have tried and may you even have siblings. I know you have an aunt (He spent half the dinner mocking his sister Artemis)

" Alright forward me the number. I'll think about calling him."

" Actually I'll just have Leo hack him."

" Of course. And may I just add that this the second time we've actually called each other."

" The first time was just me cursing into a phone. I didn't count."

" I still think you have a cute accent."

" Shut it, surfer boy."

" That reminds me. Why does Leo call you angel? He didn't seem to know about the tattoo."

" Thanks for telling him about those by the way. He has some very creative ideas of what my tattoos are, where they are and why I told you. And you'll probably find out eventually."

" Your welcome. And then you might as well tell me now."

" Ugh fine! My last name is Di Angelo meaning of the angels in Italian."

" THAT IS SO CUTE! I understand the angel wings now."

" I AM NOT CUTE! It's just my name."

" Well if it makes you feel any better my last name is Solace."

" Seriously? That's oddly fitting for a future doctor."

" I thought so. When I apply to medical school they're just going to see my name and let me through. No need for grades."

" And I'm going to work with the dead with the name of the angels. We picked out careers well."

" Yes, Yes we did."

*RINGGG!*

" And there is the bell for the end of lunch."

" Ah the joys of suspension. The lunch breaks lasts forever."

" Are you even doing your work?"

" I painted it blue and black as a metaphor. My art teacher will approve."

" Of course you did. And I have biology!"

" Have fun dissecting frogs."

Sunspot has ended call.

5:06pm. "Okay I have the number in front of me. What do I do?!"

5:09pm. "Babe, do I have to explain how to use a phone?"

5:11pm. "You know what I mean! I can't exactly just call him and say 'your my father, when's the fishing trip Dad?"

5:14pm. "Maybe you should text him. Give yourself more time to think of responses."

5:16pm. "It's not exactly something you should tell someone over a text."

5:19pm. "Call then. So let's plan this. Maybe explain you know Nico so he doesn't think it's a prank. The text him the photo of him and your mom. Then idk say what you want."

5:21pm. "WHAT DO I WANT?"

5:24pm. "I don't know, a new surf board? To meet celebrities at his record company? Which is probably here in LA btw."

5:26pm. "I would like another surf board, but that's not the point."

5:29pm. "Whatever you do just call before the sun sets otherwise he'll be asleep."

5:31pm. "I'll be asleep too. Okay I'm typing in the number. I'll just suggest we meet but give him time to process it."

5:34pm. "Good choice sunspot."

Calling SUNLIGHT PRODUCTIONS

" Hey the suns still up so we are too! What's up dude?"

" Um is this Apollo?"

" Yep! You sound a little young to be looking for a career. How did you even get my number?"

" My foster brother's good with computers, and I'm not a musician."
"Alright. Wait is this one of Artie's woman's shelter kids again? I thought you were all girls."

" Woman's shelter, they probably are. Um you had dinner with my friend Nico yesterday?"

" The punk kid who tipped the pasta on my head?"
"Sounds like him. Anyway um do you remember an Alice Solace?"

" Wow long wat back. I dated that chick for like two weeks. Why are you asking?"

" Uh this really awkward, but Nico sent me the photo with you and the blue girl."

" Yeah! The smurfette! I still don't understand what this has to do with Alice."

" Alice is my mother and I recognised you in the photo with the one she left me."

" OH FUCK!"

" That's what I thought."

" Wait so you're sure?"

*Forwards picture of Apollo and Alice and picture of Will*

" Wow. Um didn't you say foster kid before? Did something happen to Alice?"

" Not that I know of. She thought she was too young to be a mom."

" Oh. Um What's your name?"

" Will Solace."

" Where do you live, Will?"

" LA."

" So do I. I'm still in Vegas though."

" Um you're probably still pretty shocked so call me again once you've processed it, I mean if you want to."

" Yeah. I'll uh do that."

" Okay then."

Call ended.

Sunspot has added Rainbow and Sociopath to conversation.

6:03pm "Did you call him?"
6:05pm " How did it go?"

6:07pm"As you could expect. It was pretty awkward but he doesn't seem like he's just going to ignore it."

6:09pm "Good. The awkward should fade eventually."

6:12pm "It was lots of awkward and lots of shock."

6:14pm "I'd be shocked too if someone called me to tell me I'm a father."

6:16pm "Your fifteen and gay. It would be a shock to us all."

6:19pm "Shut it, rainbow."

6:21pm. "Anyway he said he'd call me back when he's over his shock. What do you think is going to happen?"
6:24pm. "You never know. My father mainly took me in because I had nowhere else to go and hate the foster system. Plus Hazel was pretty persistent."

6:26pm. "I'm pretty happy with my current foster family. I've had a couple bad ones, but Candice and Leo are nice."

6:31pm. "When Leo's actually there and not just annoying the shit out of bus drivers."

6:34pm. "I still can't believe he's caused four to quit in the time he's been going to my school."
6:36pm. "Anyway. Any ideas on what will happen?"

6:41pm. "No way to know dude. For all you know you'll be adopted by a bald man tomorrow and be singing show tunes."

6:43pm. "That's likely."

6:45pm. "You were adopted by Satan, shut up."

6:47pm. "Hades. And Will can no longer mock me for that since his father is Apollo."

6:51pm "The truly tragic part of this. At least I can still mock your last name, angel."
6:53pm. "No you cannot, Solace."

6:56pm. "I ship it."

6:59pm. "What does that mean?"
7:01pm. "It means you're going to be one of the adoptive fathers of my godchildren."

7:03pm. "It means she likes the idea of us together. Something that I hadn't heard before at all."

7:05pm. "Neither had I."

7:07pm. "Well I've got to help my mom with a performance. Later lovebirds."

7:09pm. "WE'RE NOT LOVEBIRDS!"

7:09pm. "WE'RE NOT LOVEBIRDS!"

7:11pm. "And what performance?"

7:14pm. "My mom is a TV magician. She's cutting me in half tonight."

7:15pm. "And you're not the one they call Houdini?"

7:17pm. "Apparently Cecil's better at disappearing when he gets in trouble. And picking locks, and stealing."

7:19pm. "I thought my friends were menaces."

7:21pm. "Considering Leo's your friend. They are."

7:24pm. "From what I've heard you're the menace. And I'm actually leaving now."

7:26pm. "Don't actually die."

7:29pm. "No promises."

Rainbow has left conversation.

7:31pm. "You alright Will?"

7:33pm. "I think so. I need to distract myself, I'll do some homework. You should attempt to do yours too. (Painting it doesn't count.)

7:36pm. "No, I'll just watch Paranormal activity 3 with RARA."

7:38pm. "Good luck with your nightmares."

6:05pm. "ARTIE I NEED HELP!"

6:07pm. "Odd, that's what I've been saying for the last 34 years."

6:09pm. "BE SERIOUS! I'M FREAKING OUT!"

6:12pm. "Who did you get pregnant?"

6:15pm. "Some chick named Alice sixteen years ago. My son just called me."

6:18pm. "YOU ACTAULLY GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT? I WAS JOKING!"

6:21pm. "WELL I'M NOT! His name is Will and he's a foster kid."

6:25pm. "Foster kid? Didn't the poor girl you seduced raise him?"

6:27pm. "No! She wasn't ready to be a mom. WHAT DO I DO?"
6:31pm. "Get to know him for starters. And if you don't I'll take him in myself."

6:34pm. "You hate males."

6:36pm. "No, I hate sexist pigs who are horrible to women. He's fifteen he can still become a decent human being."

6:39pm. "Back on topic! What do I do?"

6:41pm. "Like I said, get to know him and go from there."
6:43pm. "Me. A father."

6:45pm. "It was bound to happen eventually. There's probably a whole orphanage of annoying blonde children."

6:47pm. "NOT FUNNY ARTEMIS!"

6:51pm. "Just call him. Maybe get lunch or go surfing or something."

6:54pm. "Fine. I'm on the jet back to LA. I'll text him when I wake up."

6:58pm. "You wake with the sun! This kid might actually have some sanity… then again he's your son."

7:01pm. "Meanie."