Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sunghoon was filling an application form the moment he got Sunoo’s message. “I’m coming over”, it read. He replied a quick “ok” and didn’t think too much about it.

Sunghoon was used to having the boy show up to his apartment, sometimes even without warning. Sunoo came to him when he had news to share, when he needed a study partner or for anything at all — his best friend was his first option for everything. That included the moments he was at his worst and needed a shoulder to cry on.

Sunghoon heard a knock on the door got up to answer. As soon as he pulled the handle, his heart dropped at the sight. Sunoo stood there with puffy eyes, tears welling up, and a sad smile.

Without a word, the boy ran into the apartment straight into his arms.

“You wanna talk about it?” Sunghoon asked as he caressed his hair.

With his nose on the crook of Sunghoon’s neck, Sunoo shook his head slightly in response and tightened his grip around his waist.

Sunghoon had seen him at his worst, but he never got used to seeing that look on Sunoo’s face. Still, he knew that the younger boy needed a hug the most at that moment, he would tell him what was wrong when it felt right.

After Sunoo had calmed down, Sunghoon made them both some tea and they sat at the couch to watch a random animation movie, with the younger resting his head on his shoulder.

Sunoo didn’t seem to be too immersed in the movie, but there was no point in forcing him to talk either.

“We broke up,” Sunoo blurted out at some point.

Sunghoon turned to him with wide eyes, waiting for an explanation.

“He said he’s not ready for commitment yet and that I expect too much attention from him when I should know he’s busy.”

“Wait, you’ve been together for what, six months now?” Sunghoon asked and Sunoo nodded. “And through all this time he wasn’t ‘committed’ yet?”

“He said he wanted to take things slow.”

“How slow was it if you always had to pick up his calls and go to his place whenever he wanted?”

“That’s what I confronted him about. We ended up fighting and he said I wasn’t being comprehensive enough.”

“What an asshole. He was just leading on this whole time!” Sunghoon scoffed. He hadn’t liked Sunoo’s boyfriend for a long time. He seemed decent at first, but was always too emotionally unavailable. The older had talked to Sunoo about it before, but he tried not to interfere too much in their relationship, as he wanted to respect Sunoo’s choices. “And how are you feeling right now?”

“I’ve been through worse breakups, you know, but I don’t know,” he sighed, “for some reason I actually thought we could have some sort of future together. I guess I expected too much.”

“I don’t mean to be mean right now, but—”

“I know, I know. You told me.” Sunoo closed his eyes and let his head fall back on the couch.

“Listen, it’s not your fault, you’re just too good of a person to see the bad in these guys, but that’s why they keep taking advantage of you. I’m only saying ‘I told you’ because I want you to start listening to me when I tell you you deserve better.”

“But this time it wasn’t so bad!” Sunoo tried to defend himself.

“Yeah, it definitely wasn’t as bad the guy who cheated on you or as the guy who didn’t let you see your friends cause he was jealous of anyone who looked in your direction".

Sunoo opened his mouth like he was ready to protest, but closed it again and pouted, sipping his tea quietly. Ah, how Sunghoon wanted to kiss the pout out of those lips.

“All I’m saying,” Sunghoon continued as he softly brushed Sunoo’s hair, “is that you keep settling for guys who don’t deserve you. You need to upgrade your standards.”

Sunoo leaned into his touch. “I know, but it’s so hard to find a decent man that actually fits my standards and I’m afraid if I am too picky or wait too long I’ll end up single forever!”

Sunghoon chuckled. “You’re so dramatic, you could never end up single forever. There’s no reason for someone not to date you. Also, you can always marry one of your friends. Don’t you and Jungwon have a pact that you’ll marry each other if you’re both single by the time you’re forty or something?”

“It’s actually thirty-five cause we were a little desperate when we did it,” Sunoo huffed. “As if Jungwon would stand being single until then. Come on, not even you believe that.”

Sunghoon was happy to see Sunoo’s mood had already improved since he’d arrived.

“Either way, you have other friends to marry.” Sunghoon pointed out and took a sip of his tea.

“Would you marry me, hyung?”

Sunghoon choked slightly. “Y-yeah. Obviously, I would. I wouldn’t let you be single forever, don’t worry.”

Sunoo laughed out loud at that. “Be serious, you know you won’t stay single long enough to marry me.”

“Excuse me? I’ve been single for 3 years now.” Sunghoon put his hand on his chest like he was offended.

“Because you want to! You got many great options, there are always people running after you.”

“Eh, I guess I’m just never really interested in anyone,” Sunghoon said looking down.

“You will find someone eventually, though, it’s just a matter of time. There’s no way a person like you will be single forever!”

“What if I end up falling for someone who doesn’t want me?” Sunghoon said teasingly as he raised his eyebrows.

“I don’t see how that could ever happen,” Sunoo was giggling now, “but if it does happen, I’ll marry you then.” He took Sunghoon’s hand.

“Hm, good to know I have such a great backup plan.” Sunghoon smiled and interlocked their fingers.

The rest of the afternoon went by the same way their weekends did many times before, with the two watching a movie cuddled on the couch. Despite being used to the intimacy, it had been months since the last time they had spent time being this close all by themselves. Sunoo still visited Sunghoon when he was dating, but it wasn’t the same.

Soon their friends on the groupchat were making plans to meet at night at their favorite bar.

“Are sure you’re okay enough to go out today? I can tell them we’ll stay at home, if you want.” Sunghoon asked, looking up from his phone.

“It’s fine. I think I need this, actually.” Sunoo answered with a thoughtful expression. “But I don’t wanna have to go back home to change, you’ll have to lend me one of your shirts. I’ll also probably need some makeup.”

“Well, you know you can take anything you want.” They went to Sunghoon’s bedroom. He looked back at Sunoo before opening his wardrobe. “You look fine, though.”

“With this?” Sunoo pulled the hem of his shirt.

“Yeah.” Sunghoon looked at him seriously. “You look good in anything, actually.”

“As much as I appreciate the compliment, this won’t do.” He sat on Sunghoon’s bed supporting himself on his palms behind him as Sunghoon went through his wardrobe looking for options. “I’m going through post-breakup, I need to look my best. What if I meet a cute guy there tonight?”

“First of all, if hypothetical cute guy can’t appreciate the way you look right now, he definitely doesn’t deserve you. Second, are you seriously already thinking of finding someone else?” Sunghoon looked back at him, eyes slightly widened.

Sunoo laughed. “Chill, I’m joking. I don’t even wanna think of dating anyone else now, I just wanna see our friends and have fun.”

“You know I’ll support you no matter what you choose to do, but maybe this time wait a little longer before getting into another relationship.” Sunghoon’s voice trailed off as he turned back to the wardrobe to avoid Sunoo’s eyes.

“Wait, what’s that? Are you jealous?” Sunoo teased with a playful smile. He got up and wrapped his arms around Sunghoon’s waist, tucking his chin on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’ll still have my attention even if I date someone else. I’ll make sure to spend more time with you from now on.”

Butterflies crept up in Sunghoon’s stomach and he struggled to think of another witty reply. He couldn't help the way his heartbeat increased at the touch.

“Good.” He replied quietly without turning around, feeling too embarrassed to try to deny it.

They eventually found a shirt that was a little too big on Sunoo, but in a stylish kind of way. As Sunghoon had said, the boy looked good in anything anyway, but to see him in his clothes messed a little with his heart.

When they arrived at the bar, everyone was already at their usual table. It was a place with warm lighting and a simple but somewhat modern decoration. Most of the people who went there were other college students around their age, but since it was located in a remote part of town, it was never too crowded.

“He said what?” Jungwon asked as soon as Sunoo told them about his breakup. “Ugh, I never really liked that guy, but I didn’t expect him to just end things like this.”

“I did,” Heeseung said, “he was always busy and never had time for Sunoo. I think the last time he came to a group meeting like this was months ago.”

Jake elbowed him slightly. “Don’t say it like that,” he whispered.

“Ow, sorry…”

“It’s fine, Heeseung is right. I should’ve seen it coming too,” Sunoo said, staring at the table, “now that I think about it, it makes me a little mad that I let him lead me on for so long with the idea that we were just ‘taking it slow’, but it still hurts a bit, if I’m honest.” He sighed.

“It’s okay, it’s normal to feel that way.” Jungwon reassured him, holding his hand. “You spent too long trying to make it work. But we’re here now, we’ll help you forget him and soon you won’t even remember why you were so sad just now.”

“That’s right, no more thinking of exes. Let’s start with the shots!” Jay announced and everyone cheered.

It was past 2 am and Jungwon was fast asleep on Jay’s shoulder, Heeseung was giggling uncontrollably at something Jake had said while clinging to his arm, and Sunoo was hugging Riki and rambling about how much he loved everyone for being so supportive. They decided to call it a night, despite Sunoo claiming he could handle another round of shots by himself.

As they were leaving the table, Jungwon had just been awoken and tripped on his step.

“Ay, go easy.” Jay said, grabbing him by the waist.

“I’m okay.” Jungwon laughed and threw his arms around him. “I don’t wanna walk now. Carry me, Jay.”

“I can’t carry you here, Wonnie,” Jay laughed nervously, “come on, I’ll help walk you out.”

“God, you’re so embarrassing. I’ll leave before people think we're together.” Riki said, quickly passing them by.

They split the group for the cabs and waited outside the bar talking and enjoying the night air of spring.

“I love you guys so, so, so much.” Sunoo mumbled as he hugged Jake and Heeseung at the same time, slowly rocking left and right.

"We love you too, Sunoo.” Jake replied as he patted his back.

“You’re my favorite couple, it’s like you guys are my parents or something.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Jake laughed amusedly.

“Sunoo, their cab is waiting, let them go.” Sunghoon reminded him and the boy released them.

“Hey, don’t talk to my son like that!” Heeseung scolded.

“Alright, let’s get you home.” Jake pulled Heeseung to the cab, waving goodbye to the rest of them and joining Jay and Jungwon, who were caught up in their own world waiting inside the cab.

Not too long after, the other cab arrived.

Through the whole ride, Sunoo clung to Sunghoon, periodically pointing and commenting at random things out of the window.

“You’re gonna sleep over at my place today, right?” Sunoo asked as he traced shapeless lines on Sunghoon’s arm. “I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t leave you alone at this state, you probably wouldn’t even find the light switch,” Sunghoon replied with a playful smile.

“Shut up.” Sunoo hit his arm laughing quietly.

Riki had been ignoring them for most of the ride, staring out the window and listening to music on his phone, but Sunghoon noticed the boy smile at their exchange and give him a quick look before turning back to the window.

When they got to Sunoo’s apartment, the boy dropped on the couch complaining he was sleepy. Sunghoon left him there to make the bed and change into the spare pajamas he’d left there months before. When he came back to the living room, Sunoo was dancing to some Twice choreography with his eyes closed and no music on.

Sunghoon smiled at the sight, wondering how could anyone not fall in love with the boy.

He helped a reluctant Sunoo change into his pajamas and took him to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Sunghoon used the spare toothbrush he’d left there, which he didn’t even remember about. It had been over six months since the last time he’d slept over at Sunoo’s place, before his last relationship. It felt like too long and not enough time had passed since then — it was quite a while of him keeping a respectful distance from his best friend cause he had a boyfriend, but now that it was over, it was like it’d never happened, their closeness remaining the same.

Sunghoon switched the lights off. “Why did you keep my toothbrush?” He asked as they lay on Sunoo’s bed.

“What do you mean?” Sunoo asked yawning. “For the next time you slept over,” he said like it was obvious.

“Yeah, but it’s been months since the last time, and you knew I wouldn’t be sleeping over while you were dating.”

“So? You used it just now, didn’t you? I was right to keep it.” Sunoo said matter-of-factly and nested himself in Sunghoon’s arms, tangling their legs together.

“I guess… you’re right.” Sunghoon wasn’t sure why he’d asked in the first place, it seemed like such a silly question now.

He had his right arm outstretched under Sunoo’s neck, his left hand smoothly caressing Sunoo’s back. They stood in comfortable silence for a moment before Sunoo spoke again.

“Hyung, do you really think I will find someone?” He questioned.

“I have no doubt you will, Sunoo.” Sunghoon reassured him slowly rubbing his back. “You’re the most amazing person I know.” They were alone in the room, but their conversation was nearly a whisper now.

“Well, that’s an exaggeration.” Sunoo chuckled.

“It’s not. If you saw yourself as I see you, you would understand how incredible you are and how much you deserve.” Sunghoon’s left hand had moved to the back of Sunoo’s head, caressing his hair.

“I don’t think other people see me as you do,” Sunoo replied, voice heavy with sleep.

“That’s their loss, then.”

Another few seconds of silence.

“Maybe I should just date you,” Sunoo considered absentmindedly. Sunghoon’s entire body froze.

Sunoo seemed to have noticed his tension, he moved back slightly to look up at Sunghoon and their eyes met.

The room was entirely dark except for the ray of moonlight escaping from the curtains they forgot to close completely, but it was enough to make the shape of Sunoo’s eyes staring back at him.

He’s not serious, Sunghoon thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to have any reaction. He’s drunk, he can’t be serious.

As Sunghoon got stuck in his thoughts, he lost track of time for a moment. It might have been only 2 seconds or maybe a full minute had passed.

Sunghoon snapped out of his haze when he felt Sunoo’s hand on his face, delicately running his thumb on his lips. Suddenly, he was completely aware of how close they stood. Their bodies tangled and Sunoo’s face a few centimeters away from his, the boy’s heavy-lidded gaze fixed on his lips.

His heart pounded on his chest as he attempted to form a coherent thought. He felt the urge to kiss Sunoo at the same time he scolded himself for considering to do so when his best friend was drunk and vulnerable.

But Sunghoon’s internal conflict didn’t last long enough for him to make a decision. Sunoo was pressing their lips together before he could form another thought.

The alcohol made his mind dizzy — or maybe that was all Sunoo’s effect on him, he couldn’t tell. He completely melted into the kiss.

Sunoo held his jawline softly. He started moving his lips against Sunghoon’s, and they were in sync in no time.

Something inside the older lit up the moment he felt Sunoo’s tongue poke at his lower lip. Instinctively, he let his mouth open and the taste of mint took over his mind.

Right then, all his thoughts were gone. There was only Sunoo and the touch of his lips, the taste of his tongue, the way his fingertips climbed to the back of Sunghoon’s head and tangled in his locks, the subtle rise and fall of his chest — heartbeats synchronizing.

Sunghoon held Sunoo’s nape, his previously outstretched arm closing around Sunoo’s shoulders in an attempt to pull him impossibly closer. Despite Sunghoon’s inside burning with too many emotions and physical sensations, they seemed to be getting slower.

Sunoo dragged his tongue in and out of Sunghoon’s mouth like he was savoring him with no rush to stop. He whimpered softly, almost whisper-like, but Sunghoon could feel the vibrations in his mouth.

It was driving him insane. Each and every part of his body in contact with Sunoo was overwhelming, yet not enough.

Sunghoon felt a spark of pain as Sunoo bit his lip a little too hard. He used the brief glimpse of consciousness to come back to his senses and let go of the kiss.

Sunghoon had waited so long to feel this, there were times he thought he would never get to experience it at all, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. He mustered all the restraint he could and backed away slightly. “We shouldn’t…” He muttered.

Sunoo groaned softly, eyes opening halfway for a brief moment before closing heavily again. His breathing was steady. He had already fallen asleep, and on Sunghoon’s half of the bed, too.

Sunghoon carefully backed away, sitting by the edge of the bed. He let his head fall forward, supporting himself on his knees, processing what had just happened.

Had Sunoo meant that or had it been just another comment on the platonic side? Had Sunoo noticed how eagerly Sunghoon had kissed him back? They’d been that close and drunk multiple times before and Sunoo had never done that, could he have felt something this time? Could it be reciprocal? The thoughts flooded his mind, which was already hazed by the alcohol.

He looked at Sunoo’s sleeping figure behind him. It was going to be a long night.

Chapter Text

Sunoo jolted awake, sitting on the bed. His head pounded and he regretted, not for the first nor the last time, having drunk so much.

Then he remembered the reason he’d been drinking. He threw himself back on the bed and sighed. He reached for his phone on the nightstand and noticed the glass of water and the ibuprofen beside it. Sunghoon was truly the best friend he could have.

He took the medicine and mindlessly scrolled down on random social media apps on his phone for a few minutes before getting up.

The smell of coffee and eggs greeted him all the way from the living room to the kitchen.

“Good morning!” He announced as he stepped into the kitchen, where Sunghoon stood by the stove distractedly cooking their breakfast.

“Good morning,” Sunghoon replied, a little startled.

“Thanks for the ibuprofen, I needed that.” Sunoo said as he poured coffee in two cups and taking them to the table.

“I mean, that wasn’t hard to predict.” Sunghoon said with a smile as he brought two bowls and sat with Sunoo by the table. His expression was a little down, he seemed tired.

“It was worth it, though. I had so much fun last night.”

“And how are you feeling today?”

“The headache is a little bad, but it’ll go away soon now that I took the medicine.”

“I meant the breakup,” Sunghoon corrected hesitantly.

“Oh. I don’t know. Not too bad, I think. It would be an exaggeration to say I’m great, but seeing everyone last night really did help.” Sunoo took a sip of coffee. “Maybe it’s too soon to tell, but I’m not missing him as much as I thought I would, actually.”

“That’s good, he doesn’t deserve to have you missing him.” Sunghoon said grumpily as he took a bite of eggs.

“I wonder if he’s missing me,” Sunoo said pensively.

“I bet he is,” he scoffed and then turned to Sunoo with an alarmed expression as if he’d just realized something. “But you can’t get back with him! He might call you saying he’s missing you and wants you back. You gotta promise you won’t take him back even if he begs you!” Sunghoon urged with his cheeks full waving his spoon.

Sunoo threw his head back laughing at the scene. “Don’t worry, I have no intentions of getting back together with him.” He brought the cup to his lips. “Unless…” He smirked looking sideways at Sunghoon, whose eyes shot up at him with a questioning look.

“‘Unless’??” Sunghoon’s eyebrows rose even higher at Sunoo’s silence.

“Unless nothing, I’m just messing with you now,” Sunoo giggled. “Listen, I understand that you want to protect me, but I’m fine. I won’t take him back, I just need some time to get over him. Also, I don't even want to think of dating anyone at all right now.”

“You can’t blame me for worrying. I just want you to date someone decent for once,” he nagged.

“Someone decent like you?” Sunoo teased with a smirk again.

Sunghoon choked, he put his hand on his chest and his face quickly became a shade of red.

“Oh my God.” Sunoo panicked and patted his back, not knowing how else to help.

“I’m fine,” Sunghoon recomposed himself. “I’m fine, it’s okay now.”

“Wow, didn’t think you held yourself in such high esteem, hyung,” Sunoo continued to tease him as soon as he was sure Sunghoon was fine.

“Shut up,” he muttered and looked away, “I never said I was decent.”

“Oh, you know you are more than decent.” Sunoo smiled taking a bite of his breakfast and Sunghoon drank his coffee, pretending not to hear that.

Their trivial conversations continued as they finished having breakfast, cleaned up and went to the living room to sit on the couch.

When the topic had a break, Sunghoon’s demeanor started to change. He seemed to be deep in thought.

“Sunoo, I need to tell you something,” Sunghoon’s tone was serious now.

“Okay,” Sunoo waited expectantly for him to continue.

“Actually, I need to apologize,” he said looking in Sunoo’s eyes before looking down. “I… umm…” He gulped nervously.

Sunoo couldn’t think of anything that Sunghoon had done lately that deserved an apology. He couldn’t imagine Sunghoon doing anything that deserved this much seriousness, either.

“It’s fine.” Sunoo grabbed his hand. “You can tell me anything, I won’t get mad,” he reassured him.

“I’m not so sure about that… and it’s fine. If you do get mad, I mean.”

“Just say it.”

“I kissed you last night. Actually, more like you kissed me and I didn’t stop you,” Sunghoon said at once and suddenly a memory was awakened in Sunoo’s mind. It was still a little blurry, but it came to him in an instant. Sunghoon kept rambling before he could reply. “But I was wrong because you were drunk. Well, we both were, but you were more, and you clearly didn’t know what you were doing but I let you kiss me anyway and I’m sorry. I should’ve stopped you sooner. I would never want to take advantage of you. I’m deeply sorry and I’ll understand if—”

“Wait, calm down. It’s fine,” Sunoo interrupted the boy, who seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown. “I know you would never take advantage of me,” he reassured Sunghoon and held both of his hands.

“You don’t have to say it’s fine. I know I was wrong,” Sunghoon looked at Sunoo, still a bit of panic in his eyes.

“It is fine, though. I glad that you’re telling me this, but I trust you. I wouldn’t sleep on the same bed as you if I didn’t,” Sunghoon opened his mouth to protest again but Sunoo kept talking before he could say anything. “We were both drunk. Also, I was the one who kissed you first, wasn’t I? I should be the one apologizing.”

“But you didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Neither did you. You already apologized and I’m saying I don’t mind that we kissed.”

“So… you’re really not mad?” Sunghoon asked hesitantly.

“Of course not! I can kiss you right now again to prove it.” Sunoo closed his eyes and puckered his lips leaning into Sunghoon, who backed away instantly and looked away. “Oh? Are you shy, now?” He teased.

“No…” Sunghoon muttered, ears getting red.

“I’m sorry, it’s too fun to mess with you sometimes,” Sunoo laughed softly. “Rest reassured I’m not mad at all. Also, I appreciate that you take consent so seriously, but it’s no big deal to kiss your friends, hyung. I mean, who has never kissed a friend, right?”

“Right…” Sunghoon agreed uncertainly.

A notification popped on Sunoo’s phone. It was Jungwon inviting them to go out to a new café that afternoon.

“Are you going?” Sunghoon asked.

“Yeah, I’m done with my uni work for the week and I really want to spend more time with you guys. You’re coming too, right?”

“I think I’ll pass this time, I have some stuff to finish at home. Is that okay? I mean, I can go if you want me to,” Sunghoon waited for Sunoo’s confirmation.

“No, don’t worry. I already took too much of your time. You’ve done more than enough for me this weekend,” Sunoo reassured him with a smile.

“Sunoo, there’s no such thing as ‘doing enough’ for you.” Sunghoon held Sunoo’s hands. “When I say I’m here for you, I mean you can take whatever you need whenever you need. I’m your best friend. It’s literally my job to be here for you,” he said staring into Sunoo’s eyes.

“You know, hyung,” Sunoo paused, a little mesmerized from Sunghoon’s words, “Sometimes you say such nice things it’s hard to believe they came from your brain.”

“Hey! I just poured my heart out here and you’re attacking my intelligence!” Sunghoon complained and Sunoo threw his head back laughing loudly.

“Are you sure you didn’t read that somewhere?” Sunoo asked still laughing.

They left soon after lunch. Sunghoon was going back to his apartment and Sunoo agreed to meet Jungwon and Riki at the café. Neither were too far and the weather was nice, so they decided to walk.

“You sure you don’t want me to go there with you?” Sunghoon asked when they came to a stop where their paths diverged.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. You probably have a lot to do at home, and I have to catch up with the guys too.”

“Alright, then. Let me know if you need anything.”

“You know I will,” Sunoo smiled.

As Sunoo walked alone, his thoughts strayed back the night before. His memory was clearer now. Going out to drink, coming back in the cab with Riki and Sunghoon, Sunghoon helping him change his clothes and making him brush his teeth. And the kiss.

Actually, Sunoo had thought of kissing Sunghoon before. The idea had come to him like many people think of kissing their friends: entirely platonically.

Sunoo had kissed his friends before, but with Sunghoon it had felt a lot different from the time he’d kissed Jungwon on that truth or dare game back in high school — maybe it was because Sunghoon and him were much closer in a different way or maybe it had been the alcohol in his mind, but it had felt so intense, so intimate.

They had been talking about some random topic which Sunoo couldn’t pinpoint now, but he remembered Sunghoon holding him close and his dark gaze at Sunoo.

The more he thought about it, the more lucid it became: The way their bodies were pressed together, Sunghoon’s hand on his nape, the vague taste of mint toothpaste with a hint of the soju they’d been drinking in his breath. Sunoo’s heart fluttered at the thought. He involuntary brought his hand to his lips.

For a moment, he was scared to have made Sunghoon uncomfortable. He’d been so busy trying to reassure the boy before, it hadn’t really dawned on him that he was, in fact, the one who started the kiss. But Sunghoon had so passionately kissed him back, maybe he didn’t hate it, after all.

Sunoo was almost at the café when he realized his mind had been stuck on the subject since he’d parted from Sunghoon. Why was he still thinking about it? Friends kiss sometimes, there was no reason to dwell on it.

“It was just a kiss,” he mumbled to himself.

When Sunoo got to the café, Jungwon and Riki were sitting across from each other on a 4-seat table discussing some college-related topic.

“Are you considering it?” He heard Riki ask as he approached them.

“I don’t know, maybe? But going to another country seems a lot of work. Plus, I’m not sure if my GPA is good enough for that,” Jungwon answered. He looked up and spotted Sunoo. “You’re here!”

“Hey, guys!” Sunoo greeted them as he sat beside Riki. “What are you talking about?”

“The application period of the exchange program for the next semester has started. I’m not sure if I want to apply yet, but there’s quite some time to think about it. Do you think you’re gonna try it?”

“Well, my parents always wanted me to try it, but I’m not sure. I might miss you guys too much,” Sunoo joked.

“So, how are you?” Jungwon asked.

“Pretty good. Woke up with a headache this morning, but I’m better now.”

“And what about, you know, him?”

“I don’t wanna talk about that. Actually, I just want to avoid thinking any thought related to him until I’m completely over him,” he sighed in a way that expressed more annoyance than sorrow and they nodded understandingly.

Soon a waiter came to their table and they continued to talk about various topics until their order arrived.

“Did you notice?” Jungwon said in a low voice with a smile leaning over the table.

“What?” Sunoo asked distractedly.

“The waiter was totally checking you out!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and he’s kinda cute, don’t you think?” 

“I mean,” Sunoo discreetly glanced at the waiter, who was already staring at him from the counter and quickly looked away, “yeah, he’s pretty cute.”

“You should totally ask for his number,” Jungwon said with a mischievous smile. “What better way to get over a bad relationship than to start a new one?”

“But I promised Sunghoon I was going to wait a little longer before getting into another relationship this time.”

“By the way, Sunghoon didn’t want to come today?” Riki asked.

“He said he has stuff to do at home,” Sunoo explained.

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. We had a little issue this morning, but it’s already settled.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, he was freaking out cause we kissed last night and—” Sunoo casually explained before being interrupted.

“You what?” Jungwon asked a little too loud as he and Riki stared at Sunoo with eyes wide opened. He noticed he had drawn some attention from other clients at the cafe and repeated in a lower contained voice. “You what?” 

“It sort of just happened,” he replied, a little perplexed by their reaction.

“No, tell us everything. I need details,” Jungwon demanded, and Sunoo told them everything he remembered.

“Finally!” Riki exclaimed.

“Okay, forget what I said about getting the cute waiter’s number,” Jungwon said waving his hand dismissively.

“It was no big deal, though, we were just drunk,” Sunoo said. “Wait, what do you mean ‘finally’?”

“It’s just that we sort of expected it,” Riki stated.

“Why would you expect us to kiss?”

“You know, you two are very close, like maybe too close,” Jungwon explained.

“Yeah, cause we’re friends. Best friends, for that matter.”

“Yeah, but…” Riki trailed off. He and Jungwon exchanged a glance.

“What is it?” Sunoo questioned.

Jungwon and Riki turned to each other and leaned over the table mumbling like they were saying something Sunoo wasn’t supposed to hear.

“I’m right here, guys!?” Sunoo complained.

Jungwon turned back to Sunoo and cleared his throat. “Okay, listen. I don’t know if it’s our place to say it, but since we already got to this point… Sunghoon kind of, you know…” Jungwon struggled to finish his sentence.

“Sunghoon is in love with you,” Riki intervened.

“Don’t say it like that, you’ll scare him!” Jungwon scolded him. “But yes, he is,” he confirmed, turning back to Sunoo.

Sunoo’s mouth dropped and he stared at them bewildered unsure of what to say. “I don’t think so!?” Was all he could muster.

“I know it’s a lot to process, but honestly I don’t understand how you haven’t noticed it until now.”

“Did he ever tell you guys that he likes me?”

“He didn’t have to!” Jungwon exclaimed and Riki nodded in agreement.

“I think you guys are misunderstanding. I know we’re very close all the time, but it’s completely platonic. Some people have even mistaken us for a couple before.”

Both raised their eyebrows staring at him with a look that said “Exactly!”

Sunoo sighed. “You two are missing the point! I mean that we’re just friends even though we act like a couple. That’s just our style of friendship.”

“Yeah, because you’re too blind to see that Sunghoon likes you as more than a friend,” Jungwon said.

“Don’t you think he would have already told me if he really did like me? Or at least have distanced himself? I mean, what kind of masochist just stays close to the person they're in love with watching them date other people and doing all the things we do as just friends?”

“Do you remember when Heeseung had a crush on Jake but Jake was dating that girl and we had to watch him pine for months even after they broke up cause Heeseung was too scared to confess?”

“Don’t even remind me of that, it was painful to watch. But okay, I guess I see your point,” Sunoo said resignedly.

“At least consider it. If he doesn’t like you, this conversation is pointless, but if he does, think of everything he’s been going through these past years,” Jungwon argued. It hurt Sunoo to think his best friend might’ve been suffering through all this time and not only he didn’t realize it, he was the cause of it.

“Look, you don’t have to believe us,” Riki added. “You can see it for yourself. Just take a moment to notice the way he looks at you and all the things he does for you.”

“Yeah, think of yesterday. He spent his entire afternoon with you and then slept over at your place because you were down,” Jungwon pointed out.

“You would have done that too, though, and you’re not in love with me, are you?” Sunoo retorted.

“Oh, he’s definitely not,” Riki scoffed in a low voice with a smirk before sipping his straw. Jungwon shot him a glare and he cleared his throat. “Look, I was with you guys in the cab, you should’ve seen the way he was staring at you while you spoke about random stuff. The guy was whipped.”

To say the truth, Sunoo was considering it, even though the idea still sounded absurd in his mind. He had to acknowledge it as a possibility if he wanted to avoid hurting Sunghoon.

“But if what you guys are saying is true, I’m an awful friend,” Sunoo supported his forehead with his hand, elbow on the table.

“You’re not awful, you’re just awfully oblivious,” Riki observed.

“If it helps, I think he didn’t mean for you to find out, so there’s a reason you went so long with knowing about it,” Jungwon said. “And this might not be a bad thing at all, actually. Think about it: now you get to actually do something about it and end his suffering so he doesn’t have to pine forever!” Jungwon exclaimed like he had found the most simple solution to the problem.

“Wait, we’re forgetting to ask something very important here,” Riki said and the other two looked at him. “What do you feel about Sunghoon?” He asked Sunoo.

They’d been into the topic for a while, but the question caught Sunoo by surprise. Jungwon and Riki stared at him, expectantly waiting for his answer.

“I… don’t know. I mean, I love him, obviously, but I don’t know if I love him in that way. I never considered this before,” he looked down deep in thought.

“Maybe you should figure out your own feelings before confronting him about his,” Jungwon said. “But don’t think too hard. You just came out of a toxic relationship, you shouldn’t be stressing about more things right now.”

“Yeah,” Riki agreed, “just start by paying attention to him. You might figure out things sooner than you expect,” he winked with a smile.

As they walked out of the café, the cute waiter ran up to them. “Wait!” He spoke and they turned to him.

“Hey,” he said a little out of breath looking at Sunoo, completely ignoring Jungwon and Riki. “I know this is a little random, but you’re really cute.” He offered Sunoo a messy piece of paper that seemed to have been ripped off and folded in a rush. He quickly glanced over his shoulder and back to Sunoo. “I can’t talk much, but here’s my number, so… hit me up! If you want, I mean…” He seemed a little nervous.

“I…” Sunoo hesitantly reached for the paper, thinking of what to say.

“Beomgyu!” Someone shouted behind the boy.

“I’m coming!” He replied and turned back to Sunoo. “I need to go now,” he gave him a shy smile and left the paper in Sunoo’s hand before running back to the counter.

“So, are you gonna text him?” Jungwon asked after they left the café.

“I don’t know yet…” Sunoo stared at the folded piece of paper before putting it inside his pocket.

Suddenly Sunoo felt like his breakup was the least of his problems.

Chapter Text

Nothing out of the ordinary happened along that week. Sunoo continued to see Sunghoon on campus, they had a few classes together and had lunch with the group everyday, as usual. But now, Sunoo’s mind was focused on Sunghoon every time they were in the same room. He had always paid attention to his best friend, of course, however it’s different when a little voice inside your head is telling you they might be in love with you.

He was trying to follow Jungwon’s and Riki’s advice and not stress too much about it while just trying to notice Sunghoon’s actions, but everything he did seemed so ambiguous, he couldn’t take his mind off it.

When Sunghoon hugged him or put his arm around his shoulders as they walked; when he picked him up after his class so they could walk to their next class together; when he bought Sunoo’s favorite snack from the cafeteria every time he noticed it was about to run out of stock; Sunoo was so used to these actions, he had never dwelt on them, but now he could genuinely feel how close they were all the time. It had also gotten more intense ever since Sunoo had broken up, as they went back to acting like they did before his relationship. It was no wonder people had thought they were dating. Sunoo questioned whether their proximity was a natural friendship bond thing or whether Sunghoon saw it as something more.

He would catch himself staring at Sunghoon sometimes, and when the latter would notice, Sunoo would just dismiss it or tease him with a joke, like saying he was cute — which, as always, made him blush a little, but that too hit Sunoo differently now.

A part of him wanted to just ignore this situation altogether and move on with his life — Sunghoon being in love with him? That’s ridiculous, right? —, but he caught himself getting more and more intrigued every day.

Sunoo wondered about all these things for the thousandth time that week as he walked to Sunghoon’s apartment. They had scheduled a study session on the weekend for the subjects they had in common.

When he arrived, he quickly typed the intercom password (which he knew better than his own phone number at this point — after all, you never call yourself, right?).

He knocked on the door, but no one came, which was weird, considering Sunghoon always answered the door quickly. Sunoo rang the doorbell.

“Coming!” Sunoo heard Sunghoon scream from inside.

When Sunghoon finally opened the door, he was a little out of breath, like he’d been on a rush.

“Sorry, I was um… finishing some stuff,” he explained. “You’re early today!” His face brightened a little.

“Yeah, I said I wanted to spend more time with you, remember?” Sunoo replied as he walked inside.

“Oh, okay,” Sunoo didn’t fail to notice the glint in Sunghoon’s eyes as he said it.

They chatted for a while and drank some coffee, but they didn’t waste much time before going to Sunghoon’s bedroom to study, as both of them had quite a lot of content to review. Thankfully, Sunghoon’s desk was long and big enough to fit almost three chairs beside each other, so they didn’t have a problem with space.

They got their notebooks and textbooks and soon both were focused on their own things. This was one of the things Sunoo loved the most about studying with Sunghoon. They didn’t have to talk a lot, to be in each other’s presence alone was comforting enough and somehow even a motivation for him to study.

After a few minutes, Sunoo’s phone rang three notifications in a row. He quickly grabbed it and put it on silent, laying it back on the desk with the screen facing down.

“Sorry, I forgot to put it on silent before.”

“It’s fine. Who was it?” Sunghoon asked distractedly, still staring at his notes.

“Hm?” Sunoo’s lips were pursed in a thin line.

“It seemed important by the amount of texts, maybe you should check it.”

“It’s probably nothing! And I need to focus right now, whoever it is can wait,” he replied, mentally thanking Sunghoon for not asking any more questions.

They continued to study, exchanging notes and discussing topics every now and then.

Sunghoon excused himself to go to the bathroom for a moment. As soon as he was gone, Sunoo reached for his phone. Beomgyu had sent him 6 messages.

hey

i was wondering

are you free tonight?

i was thinking maybe we could go out

no pressure, though

;)

Sunoo sighed.

The day he went out with Jungwon and Riki, Beomgyu had given him his number, but he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do about it. He thought of throwing the paper away and not even thinking about it anymore, but the boy had been so sweet and awkward, he felt bad for him.

Sunoo had texted Beomgyu that same night, so he would at least have an answer. He explained how he’d recently broken up and wasn’t looking for anything serious yet, so he didn’t want Beomgyu to have expectations he couldn’t meet. Beomgyu said he understood and didn’t mind taking things slow, he was fine just getting to know Sunoo for now. “No pressure and no expectations”, he’d promised.

They’d been casually chatting ever since. He found Beomgyu to be very nice and funnier than he’d thought.

Sunoo stared at his phone for a moment until he realized he had to reply before Sunghoon came back.

Sorry, I can’t :c

I already agreed to hang out with my friends tonight

The answer came almost immediately.

oh, i understand

what about tomorrow, then?

i leave work at 6, we can hang out after

Sunoo was panicking a little. He wasn’t sure if he should agree because, despite Beomgyu promising to have no expectations, it felt like he was leading the boy on, but he didn’t want to be rude and refuse straight away either.

Sunoo heard Sunghoon open the bathroom door. He had to reply quickly.

I’ll think about it

He’d never typed so fast in his life. His phone was on the desk and his hand was back on his pen before Sunghoon entered the room.

It was no big deal, he thought. Beomgyu was just a new friend. So why did he just feel the urge to hide his messages from Sunghoon? It didn’t matter, it was better to not have to deal with his friend nagging him about boys right now.

“We should take a break. For how long have we been studying now?” Sunoo asked as Sunghoon sat on his chair.

“An hour and a half, I think?” Sunghoon checked the clock on his phone. “Also, I think the guys will arrive soon. What time did they say they would come again?”

“Around 5.”

“Then let’s study some more, I won’t be able to finish reviewing this part when they get here.”

They went back to their notes and textbooks, but only a few minutes into it, Sunoo was done again.

“Ugh, I can’t stand this topic.” He rested his forehead on the desk.

“It’s not that bad,” Sunghoon patted his hair.

“How come you’re so good at it?” Sunoo asked turning his head to him.

“Because I actually studied.”

“Okay, rude,” he rolled his eyes and Sunghoon smiled.

“I’m kidding. Come on, you can do it, just a little more. Before the guys arrive,” he insisted.

“But it’s boring,” Sunoo whined. He crossed his arms on the desk, lying his head on them and looking at Sunghoon. “I’d rather stare at you, instead.”

“My face is not gonna make you pass the exam, though.”

“No, but it’s certainly nicer to look at,” the younger raised his eyebrows. Sometimes he couldn’t help teasing Sunghoon. There was something so endearing about his reactions and the way he always seemed to get a little embarrassed despite how close they were.

Sunghoon quietly turned back to the computer and brought his elbow to the desk, resting his head on his hand and hiding his face behind it.

“Hey, stop hiding.” Sunoo laughed and stretched his hand to try to move Sunghoon’s arm out of the way.

“I refuse to cooperate with your procrastination,” Sunghoon said, keeping his arm in place, but Sunoo could see him smiling.

“You’re being mean right now,” Sunoo complained and pouted, shaking Sunghoon arm.

But Sunoo knew his weaknesses well. He came closer, hugging Sunghoon’s torso and resting his head on his shoulder. “C’mon, hyung. I’m tired,” Sunoo could smell his cologne better up this close. It was such a comforting scent; it felt safe and familiar, like home.

As expected, Sunghoon softened a little from that. “Okay, listen.” He turned to Sunoo again and put his arm around him. “If you study fifteen more minutes, I’ll buy you ice cream on Monday.”

“Only fifteen?” Sunoo raised his head.

“Only fifteen,” Sunghoon confirmed. Sunoo considered for a moment.

“Okay, I’ll do it,” he gave in. “Let’s start with this part. I don’t get it at all.” He pointed at something on Sunghoon’s computer screen.

“Oh, this part is easy, you’ll get it in no time.”

And so they spent almost thirty minutes on said part alone. Sunghoon was exceptionally good at explaining things he enjoyed and Sunoo found himself weirdly absorbed by the content once he started to understand it.

At some point, Sunoo brought his feet to the chair and crossed his legs on it. As they were closer now, his knee rested on Sunghoon’s leg. He’d done it multiple times before, but he couldn’t help feeling self-conscious about it now. Sometimes, Sunghoon’s hand would fall on his his thigh and softly caress it before quickly drawing back, as if he’d realized what he was doing. Sunoo pretended not to notice that, as he never minded the way Sunghoon casually touched him, but for some reason his stomach did a little twirl every time he felt it this time.

The intercom rang.

“They’re here. I’ll get it,” Sunghoon said, getting up.

“Okay,” Sunoo responded, not raising his head from the textbook he was reading.

He got a little confused over a specific concept, so he got on Sunghoon’s computer to check on his notes again.

As he looked for it through the thousand opened tabs, exploring each one he could find, he came across one that made him freeze upon sight. When Sunoo realized he probably shouldn’t be seeing it, he quickly moved back to a random notes tab and decided to act like that had never happened.

He heard chatter coming from the living room: the boys were here. He knew he wouldn’t be doing any more studying, so he organized the desk and left to meet them.

The whole group had come, since it had been a while since the last time they’d met up in one of their houses. They spent some time talking, eventually splitting into smaller conversation bubbles. Then they decided to play some videogames while they waited for the pizza to arrive.

Sunghoon’s apartment wasn’t too big, but had an open concept kitchen-living room, so when Jungwon pulled Sunoo and Riki to the kitchen, they could still see the boys playing in the living room.

“So? How is it going?” Jungwon expectantly asked Sunoo in a voice low enough that only their little circle could hear.

“What are you talking about?” He asked back, but he had a feeling he knew exactly what he was talking about.

“How are things going with, you know?” Jungwon made a slight movement with his head towards the boys in the living room. There was no questioning whose name he was avoiding to speak aloud.

“Good. Pretty normal, actually.”

“Have you been paying more attention to him?”

“Yeah…”

“And?” Riki asked, almost as expectant as Jungwon.

Sunoo sighed. “I don’t know. He is a little suspicious like you guys said, but it’s really hard to differentiate if he’s just being friendly or if there’s something more.”

“Then you clearly haven’t been paying enough attention, he’s the most obvious person I know.”

“Riki is right. You need to start noticing the things that aren’t friend-like, the things that ‘only friends’ wouldn’t do,” Jungwon explained.

“Like what?” Sunoo was genuinely confused. Sunghoon and him were so close, they were long past the point he could easily draw a line between friendly and more-than-friendly actions.

“Like the way he looks at you or how he’s always against you starting new relationships.”

“Jungwon got a point, that boy is crazy jealous of you,” Riki pointed out.

“He said he just doesn’t want me to get into bad relationships, though, and that makes sense,” Sunoo argued.

“Yeah, but he’s against you going out with other guys even before he meets them.”

“You know he doesn’t trust people easily.” Sunoo pointed out, although not even he understood why he was so earnestly opposing their arguments. He had already recognized the possibility of Sunghoon liking him, but it was like something is his mind still refused to admit it.

“Sunoo, you don’t get it,” Riki seemed to be getting stressed trying to make his point.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Jungwon calmly said with a smile, like he had suddenly thought of something. It was a little unsettling, even. “I’ll make sure you get what we mean by the end of the night,” he smirked and Sunoo felt somewhat threatened. “Let’s go play with them now, before the pizza arrives.” Jungwon moved and Riki followed, not giving Sunoo any time to question it.

They sat on the 3-seater couch, perpendicular to the loveseat where Heeseung and Sunghoon stood leaning forward, completely focused on their match, with Jake and Jay on each armrest. Sunoo sat the furthest away from them, which was also the closest spot to the TV.

“We wanna play too,” Jungwon announced.

“Their match is almost over, you guys can go next,” Jake said. He had one arm around Heeseung, sometimes moving his hand to softly play with his hair (which could be reason Heeseung was losing the match, but he would never ask Jake to stop).

Sunoo had his elbow on the armrest, supporting his head on his hand. Barely listening, he had now his full attention on Sunghoon. He stared at the boy as his mind kept replaying the things Jungwon and Riki had just told him. He carefully analysed Sunghoon’s face: his eyebrows were furrowed and he was biting his lip, eyes fixed on the screen. His nose would scrunch now and then in reaction to something that had happened in the game. Sunoo smiled unconsciously. Sunghoon looked really cute like that, he thought.

Sunoo had gotten so lost in his thoughts, he felt his heart skip a beat when he realized Sunghoon was staring back at him.

Sunghoon's face was now blank, eyes a little widened, and his hands had slowed down from the frenetic rhythm they’d been pressing the joystick. Sunoo’s mind went blank as well, he couldn’t tell what Sunghoon was thinking.

They only stared at each other for a few seconds before the room erupted with screaming again.

“I can’t believe you managed to pass him on the last moment!” Jake excitedly shook Heeseung in his seat. “You’re amazing!” He pulled his boyfriend’s face and kissed him like he had just won the Olympics.

Everyone was enthusiastically discussing the match, taking them out of their haze.

“What happened, man?” Jay asked Sunghoon. “You were just about to win!”

“I guess I got a little distracted by the end…” Sunghoon laughed awkwardly.

Sunoo should be at least somewhat sad and empathetic that Sunghoon had just lost a match because he had distracted him, so what was this fuzzy and warm feeling in his stomach?

“Who’s next?” Heeseung asked, once Jake had let go of him.

“Me!” both Jungwon and Riki jumped from their seats. Sunoo didn’t even have time to think whether he wanted to play or not because his mind was still stuck on the way Sunghoon had been looking at him just a few seconds before.

“Okay, who wants a drink?” Sunghoon got up, moving towards the kitchen. Some of them raised their hands and he counted them before starting to put his mixing skills to use.

Sunoo stood there, watching the match and talking to the rest of them. Normally, he would have volunteered to help Sunghoon, but he couldn't shake the feeling of awkwardness from what had just happened.

Soon, Sunghoon was back with the drinks, and they talked and played a bit more until the pizza arrived.

As they had dinner and along the rest of the night, the awkwardness Sunoo had been feeling dissipated. Sunghoon had kept talking to him as if nothing had happened, so maybe his mind had exaggerated a little bit, Sunoo thought.

Once everyone had finished eating, they played rock, papers, scissors to decide who would wash the dishes and clean up their mess. Jay and Jungwon ended up with the tasks, but they seemed to recover quickly, as soon they were happily chatting and joking around in the kitchen by themselves.

After they finished, they joined the rest of the group in the living room. Frozen was playing as some sort of background music, since no one was paying attention to it, voices muffling the TV.

Heeseung, Jake and Sunghoon sat on the 3-seater couch, complaining about how this semester was taking all their energy, while Sunoo and Riki sat on the two chairs across from them, absorbed in some gossip about random people from their college.

Naturally, Jay and Jungwon chose the only two seats available on the loveseat. They barely used all the space, as Jay had his arm around Jungwon, and the latter had both his legs retracted on the couch, resting his knees on Jay’s legs.

As the boys noticed them, they eventually started to engage in a conversation that included everyone. At some point, they were were reminiscing about their first years of friendship, which was a common part of their meetings now, although it had been a little more than 2 years since they hung out as a full group — ever since the youngest ones had joined college.

They were laughing at some old episode of back when Heeseung was crushing on Jake and being awkward around him.

“In my defense,” Heeseung started, “I tried talking to him multiple times, but he never seemed to be interested.”

“Because I was shy too! And I could never tell if you were flirting,” Jake explained.

“No one can blame you, though,” Jay said. “Not even I would be able to tell that he was flirting if I weren’t dealing with his daily whining that ‘Jake is never gonna like me’,” he mockingly imitated a sad voice in the last sentence.

“Shut up, Jay,” Heeseung retorted. He was laughing a little, but his ears were getting red.

“So,” Jake turned to Heeseung with a smile, “how does it feel to be wrong?” he looked up at him.

Heeseung stared back at him, completely endeared. “Amazing,” and anyone could tell from afar that no one else existed in their world in that moment.

“By the way, Sunoo, did you text Beomgyu that day?” Jungwon casually asked. Everyone turned to Sunoo expectantly, interested in the new topic.

Sunoo widened his eyes. He didn’t expect Jungwon to bring him up so suddenly and in front of everyone. “I…” he started.

“Who’s Beomgyu?” Sunghoon asked, almost immediately, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“The cute waiter we met at the café last weekend. He spent the entire time we were there checking Sunoo out and then gave him his number just when we were about to leave. He seemed like a very decent person,” Jungwon had a mischievous smile, like he was completely satisfied with what he was doing.

“How can you be sure he was decent?”

“Wait, I think I know this guy. If it’s the same Beomgyu I had class with, he’s really nice and incredibly funny,” Heeseung said happily until he made eye contact with Sunghoon, averting his gaze and going quiet after that.

“So, did you text him?” Jungwon insisted, a grin growing on his face.

Sunoo had talked about boys with all of his friends before, but he was weirdly nervous to so right now, and he wasn’t even actually dating Beomgyu. “I did,” he looked at Sunghoon, whose gaze he’d been avoiding. The older was staring at him with a blank expression he couldn’t read, but that made him want to explain himself. “But I just told him I wasn’t interested in anything serious right now.”

“And what did he say?” Riki asked. He had the same mischief as Jungwon in his eyes, just a little subtler.

“He said that it’s fine and that he wouldn’t keep any expectations.”

“But you’re still talking?” Riki asked without missing a beat.

“Yeah.”

“Has he asked you out yet?” Jay came in.

“He…” Sunoo looked down, knowing where his friends were going. “Yeah…”

“Ha! No expectations my ass. Trust me, the expectations are there, he just doesn’t want to scare you.” Jay said and most of the boys either laughed or nodded silently. Either way, no one disagreed with him.

“Wait, wait, wait, rewind a bit,” Sunghoon’s expression seemed a mixture of confusion and annoyance. “He asked you out?” Sunoo nodded softly. “And what did you say?”

“I said I would think about it,” Sunoo’s heart was pounding on his chest. The way Sunghoon was staring at him made him feel like there were right and wrong answers to all these questions and he had been answering with all the wrong ones. He wanted to say he was sorry, but he realized there was nothing to apologize for. “But I’m not really sure what I should do.”

“Okay, let’s think about it,” Jake said. “You don’t have to start dating him right away, but you don’t have to completely shut him down either. Tell us more about him, he might be the most decent guy who has asked you out yet.”

“He’s… okay,” suddenly, Sunoo couldn’t think of any way to describe him.

“Oh, he’s more than okay,” Jungwon corrected. “Show them a picture of him.”

When no one objected to the idea, Sunoo hesitantly got his phone and opened Beomgyu’s profile picture. They passed it around, making comments on the boy’s appearance, all positive ones.

“Damn, he is good looking,” Jake commented.

“And he looks better in real life, too,” Jungwon added, after taking a look at the picture. “He’s also really polite and sweet, and his smile is cuter up close.”

“You sound like you wish he had asked you out,” Jay said jokingly, but there was a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Everyone had manifested their opinions on the boy’s looks or personality, except for one person.

“What do you think, hyung?” Jungwon asked Sunghoon, ignoring Jay’s comment.

“He’s pretty okay, I guess…” Sunghoon replied. His arms were crossed and he didn’t reach for the phone, only taking a glance at it sideways.

Jungwon was smirking like that was exactly the answer he wanted.

“Moving back to the problem,” Jake continued, “I don’t see one. He’s nice and cute. Just go out with him.” He shrugged.

“But that’s the thing, I don’t want to date anyone right now, so, if you guys are right about him having expectations, going out with him would just be a way of leading him on,” Sunoo explained.

“Sunoo is right,” Riki said. “Maybe he should just shut the guy down before he gets more attached to him.”

“Yeah, but what if the guy is actually only trying to be his friend?” Heeseung pointed out.

“Or what if Sunoo decides he wants to date him later? He would have turned down his opportunity,” Jake commented.

“Well, it's not like this guy is the last man on Earth.” Sunghoon said a little harshly, probably more than he intended, and everyone went quiet.

“I think I’ve made up my mind,” Sunoo filled the silence. Everyone looked at him expectantly. “I’m going out with him,” he couldn’t help shifting his gaze to Sunghoon as he said that. The boy stared back at him with — was that hurt? Anger? It certainly felt like something in between, deep inside his eyes. Had Sunghoon always looked at him like that whenever he announced he was dating someone? He had never noticed it before.

“But as friends!” Sunoo continued. “If I notice he’s expecting anything more, I’ll tell him it’s better if we stay away," he explained and saw Sunghoon roll his eyes subtly.

Most of them agreed that it was a good idea so Sunoo wouldn’t make any big decisions precipitately. The topic ended there and soon they were back at reminiscing about old times and complaining about assignments (as the average college student).

When the boys were getting ready to leave, Jungwon turned to Sunoo. “Are you going home or are you staying over?”

Sunoo glanced at Sunghoon, who seemed to have been avoiding him ever since the Beomgyu topic. “I think I’m gonna stay over today.”

Jungwon gave him a knowing look. “You got what we meant, right?”

Sunoo sighed and looked down. He wanted to say Jungwon and Riki were exaggerating and that they didn’t understand, but maybe it was time to face things as they were. “Yeah, I’m gonna think about it.”

“Don’t think too hard, though. Just… enjoy the process,” Jungwon said with that mischievous smile again. Sunoo wasn’t sure what he meant, but he didn’t have time to ask as Jungwon was already heading towards the door with the guys.

Sunghoon and Sunoo said their goodbyes and just like that, they were alone again.

As soon as they closed the door, Sunghoon spoke. “I’m gonna shower,” he announced and left without waiting for an answer.

In the meantime, Sunoo went to his bedroom to choose which clothes from Sunghoon’s wardrobe he would borrow, since he hadn’t come prepared to sleep over — he had made that decision as some sort of damage control, as he felt it would take a bit of effort to clear the air between them.

He got the bed ready and left only the lamp on his nightstand on.

That weekend, the temperature had dropped a little. It wasn’t as cold as a winter day, but it was enough to bring a comforter out again.

As soon as Sunghoon got out of the bathroom, Sunoo wordlessly went in to take his shower. He wouldn’t force Sunghoon to talk right now, he knew he would eventually open up when he was ready.

When Sunoo came back, rubbing serum on his face as the last part of his skin care, Sunghoon was already lying in bed, scrolling down on his phone.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t date again so soon,” Sunghoon casually said as soon as Sunoo sat on the bed beside him, not taking his eyes from the screen. And there it was, Sunoo thought.

“I’m not dating him, we’re just talking,” Sunoo explained, as if he hadn’t been through the topic enough times already.

“You’re not dating him yet.”

“What makes you so sure I’m gonna date him?”

“It’s the best guy you ever flirted with, of course you’re gonna date him,” he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“First of all, I'm not flirting with him, and second, why are you so mad?” Sunoo asked, and for the first time in that conversation Sunghoon looked at him, putting his phone down.

“I’m not, though? Why would I be mad? You can date him if you want, you know I’m gonna support you no matter what you choose to do,” he reminded Sunoo, but there wasn't much support in his voice.

“Why do you keep saying I want to date him? I already told you I don’t want to see anyone right now, I just didn’t want to be rude to him!”

“Sure, whatever you say,” Sunghoon mumbled, turning to the other side and putting his phone on his nightstand. A part of Sunoo wanted to laugh at his childishness, but he held it in.

“Just say you’re jealous, it’s okay,” Sunoo teased him instead.

“Fine, I’m jealous,” he confirmed, not turning around.

Sunoo was flabbergasted. He didn’t expect Sunghoon to admit it so easily. In fact, he wasn’t expecting Sunghoon to be jealous at all, he thought he was just being protective of Sunoo again. For a moment, Sunoo just stared at the figure sulking with his back to him, unsure of what to say.

“Sunghoon, I’m not gonna date him,” Sunoo said, a little shocked he was still trying to convince him.

“You literally agreed to go out with him!” he turned his head back at Sunoo, voice getting annoyed again.

“To tell him that I don’t want to date him! Oh my God.”

“You could’ve said that through the phone, but you’re meeting him instead. It’s clearly a date!” he argued and turned to face the other side again, harshly pulling the blanket, like he wanted to hide behind it. Sunoo realized anyone who saw them right then could think they were an old married couple.

“It’s impolite to do this kind of thing through the phone. And what do you want me to do, take you with me?”

Sunghoon mumbled something so quietly, Sunoo barely heard him.

“What?” Sunoo asked.

“Okay,” Sunghoon repeated a little louder. “I’ll go with you.”

Sunoo was dumbfounded. That had clearly been a rhetorical question, but somehow Sunghoon managed to have taken it seriously. What was he supposed to say now? “You can’t go, I want to be alone with him”? Any sort of opposition would just make the situation worse.

“When is it?” Sunghoon asked.

“Tomorrow night.”

“Good. We can go together, then,” Sunghoon sounded so satisfied, Sunoo knew he wouldn’t let go of the idea so easily anymore.

Sunoo laughed to himself, still a little disconcerted.

He texted Beomgyu asking if it was okay for his friend to be joining them and he quickly replied saying it was fine. The “date” was scheduled.

“It's all set,” Sunoo announced as he dropped his phone on the nightstand and turned off the lamp before lying down. Sunghoon only made a noise in response.

Deep down, Sunoo was still suppressing his laugh. It was rare to see Sunghoon sulk like this and a part of him found it cute enough that he wanted to engage in his drama.

“Sunghoonie…” Sunoo called in a cute voice.

“Hm?”

“Can I cuddle you?”

“You know you can,” Sunghoon’s voice was much softer than before. Sunoo really knew his weaknesses well.

Sunoo got closer and wrapped his arm around Sunghoon. He touched the tip of his nose on his nape before giving it a gentle peck. Sunghoon put his hand over Sunoo’s and intertwined their fingers, bringing them to his chest.

“You know you’re still my favorite, right?” Sunoo asked sweetly.

“Hm, I know,” Sunghoon responded. Sunoo knew he was trying to sound unaffected, but his tone gave him away. Sunoo didn’t have to look to know the older was blushing.

He knew everything was fine now.

They were quiet for a while, but it still felt something was missing.

“I love you,” Sunoo whispered against his neck.

“I know,” he replied softly. “I love you too.” He gently squeezed Sunoo’s hand towards his heart, somehow pulling him even closer.

And they went quiet for that night.

They didn’t exchange ‘I love you’s too often. They didn’t feel the need to say it out loud, as both of them knew very well they did. Sunghoon was always very confident, so Sunoo never worried about telling him how he felt, but right then he knew that Sunghoon needed a bit of confirmation; a reminder; a silent promise that said “I’m still your best friend, no one will take me away from you and no one will come between us”. These were the words that went unspoken in the way Sunoo said “I love you”. And Sunghoon understood them, as he did all things related to Sunoo.

Lying like this was one of Sunoo’s favorite ways to fall asleep, so he always drifted off quickly, but, for some reason, sleep didn’t come as easy this time.

His mind wondered back to the things that happened that day. The way Sunghoon gently held him to convince him to study more; the touches on his thigh; the way he got so distracted with Sunoo he lost the game; the pain in his eyes the moment Sunoo said he would go out with someone else; and just now, the way he admitted being jealous over his “date”. Maybe friends could do all these things, but when Sunoo put them all together, they didn’t feel friendly at all.

His heart started to race without him realizing it. There was a feeling in his stomach he couldn’t shake off, and even his proximity to Sunghoon — which always felt comforting — felt a little overwhelming right then. He couldn’t help but notice how warm his body was, how tight his grip on Sunoo’s hand, and even things he’d never paid attention to, like the feeling of his strong arms and his broad shoulders pressed against him.

Sunoo struggled to sleep that night, trying to run away from all the thoughts that clouded his mind, unknowing that the boy right in front of him was fighting thoughts of his own.

Chapter Text

That past week had been torture for Sunghoon. Ever since they kissed, Sunoo hadn’t acted much different than normal, except he seemed to be giving Sunghoon more attention. He kept staring at him randomly and sometimes his touches would linger for a little longer. As always, Sunoo dismissed these things like they were nothing out of the ordinary. Sunghoon felt like he was going crazy. Was he just imagining it? Maybe he was so desperate to have Sunoo look at him differently that he had convinced himself the boy was doing so.

The day before, when he was playing with Heeseung, he had been so concentrated he hadn’t even seen Sunoo approach them. But when he noticed the younger, Sunghoon had been so mesmerized he completely forgot about the game for a moment — after all, it’s hard to concentrate when the prettiest boy in the world is staring at you like you hung the stars.

Whether it was his imagination or not, he felt his hopes getting higher every day. It was like an underlying feeling that grew without his consent and which he couldn’t bring himself to fully believe in, but he couldn’t ignore either. He should be used to Sunoo being clingy, specially now that he had ended his last relationship, but he couldn’t help trying to read between the lines of his behavior.

He wouldn’t dare say a thing, though. The fear of a negative outcome was much stronger and he couldn’t afford to lose Sunoo as his best friend, even if that’s all he’d ever be. He needed to be sure of Sunoo’s feeling first or at least see any sign that he might feel the same, otherwise confessing would be a shot in the dark. And so, he kept looking for any clue, dwelling on whatever he found.

However, Sunghoon saw all the expectation he’d been building up fall apart when Jungwon mentioned that guy — Beomgyu. Sunoo hadn’t mentioned him even once, which was weird, considering Sunghoon was always the first person he talked to about the guys he went out with. Did he not trust Sunghoon anymore? Sunghoon never gave him any reasons for that, as far as he could remember. There were things he kept from Sunoo, but he would tell him when the time was right.

When Jungwon mentioned they’d met at the café, Sunghoon hated himself for choosing not to go out with them that day. Maybe he couldn’t have completely stopped the guy from flirting with Sunoo, but it wouldn’t have been the first time Sunghoon sent a menacing look toward a guy who seemed interested in his best friend — it had worked before, it could have worked again.

It didn’t help that everyone seemed to like the guy this time. It was much easier to talk Sunoo out of a date when everyone agreed he deserved better than the guy flirting with him at the time.

Sunoo had said he wasn’t interested in dating, but he’d said that before and ended up dating someone soon after that anyway, so Sunghoon had a few trust issues.

He always managed to keep his cool and act only like the friend who worries about Sunoo getting into a bad relationship, but, for some reason, he’d completely lost it the day before. He almost felt cheated on, specially because Sunoo hadn’t said a thing about that guy before. Maybe it was the fact that his expectations had been shattered once again. But he should’ve been used to it, right? Sunoo had never looked at him that way, so what was different now?

Sunghoon felt like he was going in circles. He couldn’t confess, but he couldn’t move on either. Still, something inside him felt more determined this time. He didn’t know what to do yet, but maybe stopping Sunoo from dating someone else instead of just watching was a good start.

He knew he was being selfish. Sunoo deserved to be with someone great, someone even better than Sunghoon himself, if he was honest. But the jealousy was eating him alive. He couldn’t stand to just watch Sunoo get into another relationship anymore.

So when Sunoo gave him the opportunity to check on his new date, he took it. After all, if your best friend is with you on your date, it’s a not a date anymore, right?

Their Sunday went as normal. They woke up a little late, Sunghoon cooked their breakfast while Sunoo made coffee. They had lunch, studied a bit more the things they couldn’t finish the day before and even had time to watch a movie before leaving the apartment. Sunoo had been so sweet to him the night before, Sunghoon couldn’t bring himself to still be mad at him (specially because he knew he didn’t have the right), so he spent the day avoiding any topic that could cause another conflict.

When they got to the bar, Sunoo stopped Sunghoon next to the door before they entered.

“Hyung, I know you want to protect me, but just... Don’t be mean to him, okay?” Sunoo asked.

“Why, you think I’m gonna embarrass you?”

“No, I’m just saying. You don’t have to like him, but he’s a nice person.”

“Okay, I’ll try not to be too hard on him,” Sunghoon knew his reactions had been a little exaggerated the day before, so he understood Sunoo’s worries. “But if he disrespects you, I won’t speak for myself,” he added.

Sunoo rolled his eyes and gave a soft chuckle, but didn’t say anything further.

When they got in, Beomgyu hadn’t arrived yet, so they picked a table and kept talking while they waited for him.

Sunghoon had been so distracted with Sunoo, who was laughing at some stupid thing the older had said, he only noticed Beomgyu’s arrival when he was right next to their table.

“Hey!” Beomgyu said, slightly out of breath.

“Hi!” Sunoo happily greeted.

“So, you’re Beomgyu,” Sunghoon stated, putting effort into sounding friendly.

“That’s me,” Beomgyu replied, taking a seat across from them, “and you must be Sunghoon.”

“Yeah.”

“Sunoo told me a lot about you.”

Sunghoon turned to Sunoo with a questioning look.

“I guess I did,” he said with a soft laugh.

“Sorry I’m a little late,” Beomgyu apologized. “I was feeding Toto and he made a mess, so I had to clean that up before I left home.”

“Oh, no problem,” Sunoo said. “How is he, by the way?”

“He’s great! Look at this picture I took of him this morning.” Beomgyu pressed a few clicks on his phone and handed it to Sunoo.

Sunoo’s eyes lit up at the screen. He turned the phone to Sunghoon. “Hyung, look, it’s his parrot. Isn’t he adorable?”

“Yeah, he’s cute… but Gaeul is cuter,” Sunghoon trailed off. Sunoo didn’t look that happy when he showed him the pictures of Gaeul that his parents had sent.

If Sunoo heard him, he chose to ignore him, because he had already handed the phone back to Beomgyu and the latter had kept it in between them on the table, showing him more pictures of Toto.

After the topic had died out, Beomgyu turned to Sunghoon.

“There’s one thing I’m curious about. Can I ask you something?”

“Go on,” Sunghoon answered.

“What made you want to come today? Wanted to check if I’m as good looking as my profile picture?” Beomgyu asked with a playful smile.

“Maybe I did.” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow.

“And what’s the conclusion?”

“Eh, you’re okay.” Sunghoon shrugged and Sunoo gave him a look, subtly elbowing him.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu burst out laughing. “I can see what you meant now,” he told Sunoo and looked back at Sunghoon. “Well, you’re not so bad yourself,” Beomgyu said with a mischievous smile, to which Sunghoon huffed out a laugh.

Soon, they ordered food and drinks, and the random conversations continued to flow.

After a while, Sunoo excused himself to go to the restroom, leaving the other two boys alone. Sunghoon didn’t make any effort to fill the awkward silence, but it didn’t take long until Beomgyu spoke.

“So… does he know?” He asked.

“Know what?” Sunghoon questioned.

“You know… that you like him.”

Sunghoon wanted to disagree or get mad at this guy acting like he knew him, but he found himself sighing instead. “Am I that obvious?”

“Honestly? Yeah, I’m pretty sure anyone can tell,” Sunghoon looked at him startled. Did that mean Sunoo could tell too? “Anyone except Sunoo,” Beomgyu corrected, seeming to have read his worry. “I’m assuming that means you haven’t told him.”

“Yeah, I haven’t.”

“Have you considered talking to him?”

“Of course I have, but I don’t want to—”

“To lose the friendship,” he interrupted Sunghoon’s sentence before he could finish and gave a weary sigh. “Yeah, I get it. I don’t blame you,” he said bitterly. “I lost a friend that way once. But the truth is you’ll never know for sure if you never try.”

“I’m sorry for you,” Sunghoon didn’t know how else to comfort him. “But how is this supposed to motivate me to tell him?”

“Because things between my friend and I went wrong for other reasons. I don’t regret telling him how I felt. At least I got to be with him for a while before things went wrong, although I’m still not sure why they did, and now I can look back and say that we tried. I’m pretty sure I’d still not be over him if I had never confessed.” He explained before taking the shot he’d been staring at.

Are you sure you’re actually over him? Sunghoon wanted to ask, but he knew it was probably not a good idea to get too into the topic.

“I understand, but in my case there are too many things at risk. If you were able to be with your friend for a while, you were still lucky that he liked you back. I don’t know if Sunoo would even see me that way, in the first place.”

“Well, if you don’t want to confess for the fear of rejection, just make him fall in love with you first,” Beomgyu said like it was the most obvious solution.

“You say it like it’s easy.”

“I’m not saying it’s easy, but you definitely got what it takes. I can’t speak for Sunoo and I don’t know if he feels the same for you, but anyone can see that he cares about you a lot. I’m pretty sure that every guy that dated him hated you at some point.”

“They kinda did,” Sunghoon confirmed with a weak laugh.

“Yeah, cause he loves you more than anyone. The moment he told me you would be coming along today I didn’t even question it because I’d been hearing about you all week.”

“I know he loves me, but I don’t think he sees me that way and I don’t know if he ever could, to be honest.”

“Maybe, but you need to understand that you do have a chance. More than anyone else, actually. You already know him better than anyone and he already loves and trusts you. Also, you’re annoyingly good looking.”

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow.

“You’re not my type, don’t worry,” Beomgyu added quickly. “But think about it. Do you see yourself getting over him anytime soon?”

“Not really…”

“Then either get away from him so you can move on or make a move to find out what he thinks, but make sure you don’t wait long enough that he’s kissing someone else by the time you make up your mind,” Beomgyu said in the most serious tone he had spoken all night. Sunghoon pondered on his words and a part of him hated how much sense he made.

“Wait, why are you helping me? Don’t you like Sunoo too?” Sunghoon asked.

“I admit I had a bit of expectations when I asked him out, but I gave up on him the moment I saw him laughing next to you when I arrived. I knew then that even if I made it to the boyfriend status, I’d still never be you. And it didn’t take me too long to see how jealous you were all night,” Beomgyu gave him a teasing smile. “If it means anything, I think you guys would look great together. But I’d still like to be friends with him... if that’s okay with you.”

“You don’t need my permission to be his friend. I know I’m a little bit of a jealous person, but I don’t want to control his life.”

“‘A little bit’? Dude, you came to a date with him. And you’re right, I just wouldn’t want you to think I’m still around him for other reasons.”

“I get it. I’m cool with you staying around, you’re actually the best guy Sunoo has ever gone out with.”

“Nice to know, I guess, considering this is our first and last date,” Beomgyu said and they both chuckled.

Soon, Sunoo came back and they chatted for another while before deciding to call it a night.

When they were about to pay the bill, Sunghoon excused himself to go to the restroom, leaving his card with Sunoo to pay for their part. He came back and saw them chatting outside while waiting for him. Usually, he hated to see Sunoo talking to another guy like that, but he could see the way Beomgyu looked at him didn’t carry any ulterior motives. He felt like he could trust the boy on the things he’d told Sunghoon that night.

As soon as he walked outside, both glanced at him like the subject they’d been talking about had been interrupted.

“You’re here!” Sunoo exclaimed.

“Missed me too much?” Sunghoon smirked.

“Not really,” Sunoo rolled his eyes faking indifference and Sunghoon could see Beomgyu give them a glance with a smile.

“My cab is here,” Beomgyu announced. “Do you guys wanna share?”

Sunghoon was considering to accept the offer, but Sunoo spoke first. “Actually, I think we’re gonna walk around for a little longer before going home.”

“Alright, then,” he gave Sunoo a look and an almost imperceptible chuckle. “See you, guys!”

And just like that, they were alone again.

They aimlessly walked around the neighborhood. Sunghoon had his right arm around Sunoo’s shoulders while the latter held his right hand, fingers intertwined.

It wasn’t as cold as the night before, so it felt comfortable to walk around so close and feeling each other’s warmth.

“So, what did you think?” Sunoo asked, a little hesitant.

“He was a really nice guy, actually.”

“Are you serious?” Sunoo almost stopped on his tracks and stared at him in shock.

“Yeah.”

“Wow. What did you two talk about while I was gone?”

“We just... shared stories, sort of.”

“But you never like people so easily, what happened?” Sunoo still didn’t seem convinced.

“I don’t know, he just seemed trustable, I guess.” Sunghoon shrugged. “And what did you two talk about while I was gone?”

“He said he thinks we’re better off as friends and hoped I didn’t feel offended.”

“I see. Are you… disappointed?” Sunghoon asked carefully, watching Sunoo from the corner of his eyes.

“No, it was a relief, actually. I didn’t know how to tell him I didn’t see him that way.”

“Oh.”

“Why are you surprised? I told you I didn't want to date anyone right now.”

“I know, it’s just… I would understand if you were actually interested in him, since he’s a nice guy and all.”

Sunoo studied him curiously and Sunghoon could see a smile creeping on his lips. “You don’t have to hide that you’re happy about it.”

“What? Why would I be happy about it?”

“Because now you’ll have me all to yourself for a while longer,” Sunoo said with a smug smile.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little conceited?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, I’m not the one who sulked to go on my best friend’s date.”

“What are you implying?” Sunghoon squinted his eyes, trying to understand where the boy was going with that conversation.

“I’m not implying anything. You’re the one who said you were jealous,” Sunoo said defensively, as someone who is only stating facts.

Sunghoon sighed and averted his eyes. That had been a moment of weakness, but of course Sunoo would never let him forget about it.

They had reached a park now. It was well lit and the plants and the decoration were pretty, so it made a good place for a walk at night. It was late enough that there weren’t many people around, giving them a sense of privacy, despite being in public.

“By the way, what did you tell him about me?” Sunghoon asked, partly trying to change the subject, partly genuinely curious. Although they were close, Sunghoon didn’t know how Sunoo would present him to other people.

“Oh, just the basics. I told him how protective you are, so he shouldn’t be offended if you were a little petty today.”

“You told him that?” Sunghoon looked at him stunned.

“Was I wrong?” Sunoo retorted.

“Yes! I’m not petty!” He defended himself, feeling outraged.

“Sunghoon, you told him his pet wasn’t as cute as yours.”

“Because it’s true!” He explained and Sunoo huffed.

“I can’t stand you sometimes,” Sunoo rolled his eyes, but he was giggling, clearly not meaning his words. He had spun out of Sunghoon’s arm, still holding his hand.

“Come on, you love me.” Sunghoon pulled him slightly and they continued to walk in a slow pace, softly pushing and pulling while facing each other.

Sunoo looked up, as if he was thinking. “Hm, I don’t know about that.”

“You can’t deny it, you literally said it yesterday.”

“Maybe I just said it so you’d lend me your notes.” Sunoo raised an eyebrow.

“I would lend you my notes even if you didn’t love me. What’s your excuse now?”

“Maybe I’m just waiting for the ice cream you promised me on Monday.”

“In that case, you should still be trying to convince me you love me. I didn’t get you the ice cream yet.”

“Tsk, you caught me,” Sunoo rolled his eyes. “Well, I was the first one to say it last time, you should say it first now.”

They had stopped, standing near a bench with tall dark green trees along both sides of the path. They would be on the way of other people if there were any other people around.

“But I asked first,” Sunghoon objected.

“Exactly. Show me how much you want to hear it,” Sunoo said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Sunghoon never said “I love you” unless Sunoo said it first. He refrained from making any sort of statement that could let his real feelings show. He couldn’t help being afraid that Sunoo could read right through him and he wasn’t ready to find out what the boy would think about it.

“Say it,” Sunoo insisted, lightly squeezing his hand.

“You already know it.”

“I do, but I wanna hear you first.”

Sunghoon suddenly realized they’d gotten too close in a matter of seconds. Sunoo was staring at him with shiny eyes and a playful smile. He felt dazed under Sunoo’s gaze, it was as if his eyes were pulling him in.

Sunghoon could play it off, act like he was too stubborn to say it first — he was well aware that Sunoo knew he loved him and that this was just a silly game. But somewhere deep inside of him, he wanted to say it. Sunoo deserved to know how loved he was; to hear so much more than Sunghoon was willing to say.

Right then, he felt his inhibitions fade away. He gazed deep into Sunoo's eyes and the words naturally fell out of his mouth.

“I love you, Sunoo.”

For a moment, Sunoo’s smile seemed to falter. He only stared at Sunghoon with an expression the older couldn’t read. Had Sunoo noticed how much deeper he’d meant that? Sunghoon’s heart started to beat faster. He didn’t remember when they had moved this close, but Sunoo’s face was mere centimeters away and he looked so beautiful Sunghoon was having trouble forming a coherent thought. Sunghoon made the mistake of taking a glance at his lips — they looked glossy and soft. When his eyes came back to meet Sunoo’s, he realized the boy had also been staring at his mouth. He felt like going crazy, but he knew he hadn’t imagined that.

A warmth filled his stomach and, once again, he felt the urge to kiss Sunoo. But what excuse did he have this time? Neither of them were drunk enough. A distant memory of the taste of mint came back to his mind — it had never really left —, but it was specially clearer right then.

He almost held Sunoo’s face in that moment and kissed him as his lips demanded to be kissed, but his fear was stronger. Whatever he would face after letting the younger know his feelings was so scary, he couldn’t let himself be taken by the moment. His friendship wasn’t worth a single kiss — Sunoo wasn’t worth a single kiss.

“Hyung, have I ever told you you’re really pretty?” Sunoo asked, staring at him with doe eyes. He gently tucked Sunghoon’s hair behind his ear and let his fingertips trace his jawline.

“You have…” Sunghoon managed to answer, still hypnotized.

“Good.” Sunoo took one last glance at his lips and turned around, walking away before Sunghoon could respond.

Sunoo was already two meters ahead when Sunghoon came back to his senses.

“Hey, you still haven’t said it!” Sunghoon complained, following the boy.

“And I won’t!” Sunoo laughed and fastened his pace. Sunghoon ran after him on instinct after understanding he had been fooled and they were playing catch before he could realize, giggling and running all around the park.

When Sunghoon finally trapped him between two trees with the wall of a building behind him, he walked toward the boy in a slow pace, already tasting victory.

“Stop, don’t come closer,” Sunoo said, slightly in panic, but still smiling.

“Then say it,” Sunghoon asked. He thought Sunoo would comply now, but the playful glint in his eyes only seemed to grow. The boy remained quiet, watching Sunghoon walk in his direction. He took a look around, seemingly searching for a escape route. Sunghoon noticed that and in a swift move ended the distance between them and caught him in his arms, bridal style, so he wouldn’t easily break free.

Sunoo screamed and wiggled, trying to get out, but Sunghoon gripped tighter and the younger had no choice but to give up and put his arms around his neck.

“Are you gonna say it now?” Sunghoon asked.

“What are you gonna do if I don’t? You can’t hold me forever,” Sunoo dared.

“Maybe, but we’ll stay here for a while and I know you have classes in the morning.”

“I was planning to skip them anyway.”

Sunghoon saw he wouldn’t give in as easily as he’d thought. He didn’t want to be mean and resort to this, but there was only one tactic that would work now. The hand that held Sunoo’s waist started tickling the boy.

Sunoo screamed again and moved trying to run away. “Stop! Please, no!” He begged and Sunghoon stopped for a moment.

“Say it,” The older ordered and Sunoo stared at him pressing his lips into a thin line, as if he was pondering whether it was worth doing it or if he could still handle the torture.

Sunghoon didn’t give him too much time to think and tickled him again, holding him close so he wouldn’t drop the boy who was shaking in his arms.

“Okay, okay, I’ll say it!” Sunoo quickly gave in. His face was so close to Sunghoon’s neck, the older could feel Sunoo’s breath against his skin.

“I’m waiting,” Sunghoon pressured, but didn’t tickle him again, giving Sunoo time to recover.

Even though Sunoo didn’t say “I love you” often, he never seemed to mind expressing this sort of thing. However, for some reason, he seemed weirdly shy about it then, hesitating to do it until the last moment. Maybe he just wanted to annoy Sunghoon and play around, but there was an uncommon resistance in his voice.

“I love you,” Sunoo said in a barely audible voice against Sunghoon’s neck.

Sunghoon thought of letting the boy go, but Sunoo was having so much fun teasing him before, maybe he could play with him for a while.

“What? I couldn’t hear it,” Sunghoon was barely containing a smile.

Sunoo let out a sigh. He tightened his grip around the older, burying his face further on his neck as if he was trying to hide himself.

“I love you, hyung,” Sunoo said a little louder, lips brushing against Sunghoon’s skin. “Now let me go.”

“Hm, I don’t think so,” Sunghoon was having too much fun, he couldn’t let Sunoo go just like that.

“Hyung! Come on, you promised!” He complained, but kept his face in Sunghoon’s neck.

Whenever Sunoo seemed to be shy or embarrassed, Sunghoon suddenly felt bolder to tease him and this moment was no exception.

“I can’t let you go yet, you look too cute right now.”

“Shut up.” Sunoo whined and squirmed softly in his arms in protest.

Sunghoon wanted to walk them home just like that and cuddle him all night. His heart couldn’t take how cute Sunoo was being, he was too weak for the boy.

“Okay, I’ll let you go.” Sunghoon said and slowly put Sunoo down. He noticed the younger avert his gaze as soon as he was in front of him again.

Maybe it had been from all the struggling and fighting Sunghoon, but Sunoo’s face was unusually red — it made Sunghoon want to tease him even more.

“Embarrassed to be held in the strong arms of a handsome guy?” Sunghoon asked, softly bumping the knuckle of his index finger under his chin, making Sunoo look at him.

Sunoo huffed. “Don’t you think you’re being a little conceited?” He crossed his arms.

“Well, I’m not the one who annoyed my best friend into picking me up.”

“What are you implying?” Sunoo raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not implying anything. You’re the one who said you didn’t understand how I was still single.” Sunghoon didn’t even try to hide his smirk.

Sunoo rolled his eyes and turned around, walking away before giving an answer.

Sunghoon knew he had won this time and it showed on his face. He ran a little to catch up with the younger, who was quick to forgive, and once again put his arm around him.

They only stayed there for a short while before going home. When Sunghoon arrived at his apartment that day, he threw himself on the couch, gave a deep sigh and let his mind wonder back to all the things that happened that day. He took his phone and saw a text notification that read “Did you get home safe?”. He smiled at the screen and turned to the side, quickly typing an answer.

It wasn’t unusual for Sunoo to worry about him, since he always dropped the boy at his place first before going to his own apartment, but he couldn’t help the warmth growing in his chest when he read his messages.

Nothing special had happened that day — they hadn’t kissed nor slept together again —, and yet Sunghoon felt like this was the happiest day of his life.

When Sunghoon went to sleep that day, for the first time the thought of Sunoo felt more like the sight of an attainable dream rather than the reminder of a fight he was destined to lose.

Meanwhile, in his own bedroom, Sunoo lay on his bed staring at the ceiling and thinking of the feeling of being held in Sunghoon’s arms. He felt his cheeks burn and suddenly worried that the older might have noticed his blush back then. His mind trailed back to a few moments before that and he unconsciously touched his lips, dwelling on the kiss that never landed and wondering why its absence tasted so bitter — perhaps because the remnants of that soju and mint breath still lived in his mind.

He slowly brought his hand to his chest, questioning why the beat of his heart was so loud and what was this unsettling unfamiliar feeling, but somewhere deep within, he already knew the answer — he simply wasn’t ready to face it.

Chapter Text

It had been only two days since the date with Beomgyu, but it had been enough time for Sunghoon to let his words sink in and convince him to do something about his feelings for Sunoo.

“Okay, we’re all here now.” Jake said as he took a seat between Heeseung and Jay. “What was so important that you couldn’t tell us through the phone?”

Sunghoon had spent some time trying to figure out a plan on his own, eventually coming to the conclusion that it would be best to ask for some help from his friends. He had discreetly asked them to have a little meeting after class to talk about something important, which is how they ended up in Jay’s living room.

“So,” Sunghoon started, “as some of you might have already noticed, I sort of like Sunoo.”

“Bro, just say you’re in love with him, we already know,” Jay scoffed and the other two nodded along.

“Yeah, anyway, I need your help to make him fall in love with me.”

“What? Are you serious?” Jay questioned as they all stared at Sunghoon in surprise.

“Yeah.”

“Wow, finally!”

“Wait, where did this come from?” Jake asked. “You’ve been pining for years now, why did you suddenly decide to do something about it?”

“Let’s just say someone convinced me to try it instead of just watching him getting into another relationship,” Sunghoon explained.

“Who? I’ve been trying to talk you into it for years, who managed to do my job better than me?” Jay complained.

“So, do you guys remember Beomgyu?”

“Sunoo’s date?”

“Yeah… Well, turns out he’s not the terrible person we thought he was.”

“Literally none of us thought he was terrible, you were the only one who couldn’t admit he was nice.”

“Well, you can’t blame me for being cautious, you know Sunoo has terrible taste in men.”

“I mean, he chose you as best friend, so… yeah,” Heeseung said in a low voice with a sly smile and Jay snorted.

“Okay, if you two are gonna roast me, you can leave. Jake gives better advice, anyway.” Sunghoon whined.

“That’s not true, I’m great at giving advice,” Jay defended himself.

“You’re good at other kind of advice, but you don’t know anything about relationships. When was the last time you even kissed someone?” Sunghoon asked rhetorically.

“For your information,” Jay started with an offended expression, but paused for a moment. Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, waiting for his argument. “You’re right, but you didn’t have to rub that in my face. It’s not like you’ve kissed anyone in the past year anyway,” he retorted pettily.

“Actually, I have and less than two weeks ago,” Sunghoon replied like a child showing off a witty comeback that would get him to win the argument.

“What? So you’re trying to get Sunoo to like you when you’re out there kissing other people?”

“Well…” Sunghoon trailed off, looking away.

“Unless…” Jake started and Sunghoon raised his eyebrows with a expression that seemed to confirm his suspicion. They all stared at him with wide eyes, coming to the same conclusion at the same time.

“No,” Jay breathed out in disbelief.

“You kissed Sunoo?” Heeseung asked, a little too loud.

“Um, yes,” Sunghoon answered, feeling a little shy now that he realized he had exposed himself.

“Two weeks ago?”

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t tell us?” Jay seemed offended.

“Well,” Sunghoon’s demeanor seemed to change as he thought, “it was no big deal, actually.” He said, looking downward.

“What do you mean ‘no big deal’? I’ve been waiting for this for years!” Jay exclaimed. “Oh wow, I’m getting flashbacks.”

“How did it happen?” Jake asked Sunghoon.

“It was the day he had broken up with his ex,” Sunghoon explained. “We went back to his place after going out with you guys. We were both drunk and he was still sad and vulnerable, so he kissed me and then fell asleep right after, but he didn’t even remember doing so until I brought it up the next day.”

“And what did he say about it?”

“He said that it’s normal for friends to kiss sometimes, so I think it really didn’t mean anything to him.”

“That’s weird. Sunoo doesn’t seem like the kind of person who just goes around kissing his friends. He could feel something more but be too embarrassed to tell you.”

“He could just mean in a friendly way, though. I’ve seen friends who make out almost every day and that doesn’t mean they’re more than friends,” Jay intervened, earning a confused stare from Heeseung and Jake.

“Jay, I don’t know which people you’re talking about, but they need to sort out their concept of friendship.” Heeseung said.

“What do you mean? That’s like being friends with benefits. They could start like that and see how it goes.”

“Yeah, but that only applies to people who genuinely don’t have any feelings for each other. If one of them falls for the other, it’s ruined. This couldn’t be Sunghoon’s case because he already likes Sunoo. If they became friends with benefits now, Sunoo would still just think of him as just a friend. He would probably stop it at some point to date someone else for real and Sunghoon would only get hurt.”

“And, if Sunghoon ever told him, it would probably end up ruining their friendship too.” Jake complemented.

Jay stood quiet for a moment, taking in their words. “I… hadn’t thought about that.” He looked down, seemingly deep in thought. “I guess you’re right, it couldn’t be Sunghoon’s case.”

“We need more information,” Heeseung said, “what happened after this?” He asked Sunghoon.

So Sunghoon told them everything, from the kiss up until the date with Beomgyu and their walk at the park, trying to keep important details in.

“Okay, I could be completely wrong, but I feel like you have a chance here,” Jake said.

“But it’s hard to tell if he was flirting since he has always acted like that,” Heeseung pointed out.

“Exactly! I’m so scared of assuming things and ruining everything, I’m so lost.” Sunghoon sighed helplessly. “This is why I need you guys, I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, you guys already spend half the time together, you just need to start flirting more.”

“How? Every time I tried it, he just played along and took it as a joke. And most of the times, he turns it around and makes me embarrassed instead.”

“That’s the problem. Sunoo gives you plenty of opportunities to flirt, you just get too embarrassed and miss them most of the time. You need to be more confident,” Jake explained.

“How do I do that?”

“You need to be aware of yourself. Whenever he says something that makes you shy, don’t look away. Smile and say something even more heart fluttering. Give him attention, annoy him, do anything that will mess with his heart.”

“Also, get closer to him whenever you can. Let your touch linger, look into his eyes and stuff like that. This is one of the things I remember the most from the times I had a crush on Jake,” Heeseung said.

“Really? But I thought you rarely ever approached him.” Sunghoon questioned.

“That’s right. I mean that I remember how nervous I got every time he did those things to me. Now I’m pretty sure he knew what he was doing, but I was dying back then.”

“I didn’t at first, but once I picked it up, it was quite fun to see it,” Jake said with a mischievous smile.

“Anyways, it does work. He might think it’s platonic at first, but the more you mess with his heart, the more confused he will be and at some point it could turn into real feelings.”

“Okay, I’ll try that. Anything else?” Sunghoon asked.

“Be attentive for opportunities to flirt. And if you can’t find them, make them. Like…” Jake said and looked up, thinking for a moment. He seemed to come to a conclusion and snapped his fingers. “Oh, like the time Heeseung and I were at the kitchen and I pretended to struggle to pick a glass from a higher shelf so he’d do it for me, except I didn’t move out of the way, so he was forced to stand behind me and press against me to reach it.”

“Wait, you planned that?” Heeseung looked at Jake stunned.

“Heeseung, there were multiple glasses on the lower shelf, I still can’t believe you didn’t pick that up.”

“Yeah, but I thought you really wanted that specific one, I can’t believe you played me like that.” He complained.

“Babe, I’m not even that short.”

“Yes, you are. It’s adorable.”

“Anyways,” Sunghoon interrupted, “any other ideas?”

“There’s also the time when Heeseung pretended to lose the keys to his apartment so I’d let him crash at my place,” Jake pointed out.

“You knew that?” His boyfriend asked, once again shocked.

“Baby, you could have pretended to struggle a little more to find them the next day. It was quite unbelievable that they had been inside your backpack all along when you claimed to have checked it 3 times.”

“Oh…” He said pensively. “I regret nothing, though. I was even lucky that your friends had borrowed your extra mattress that week so I had to sleep with you on your bed.”

Jake stared at him with the softest smile. “You’re really cute, you know that?”

“You can’t be serious, Heeseung.” Sunghoon looked at him with a blank expression.

“What?” Heeseung asked confusedly. He looked at Jake, who was giggling now, and gasped when the realization finally hit him. “No… You planned that too?”

“I’m just saying, my couch was definitely big enough for you.” Jake shrugged.

“I always wondered how you managed to get Jake to date you, but I get it now. He did all the work, you were just there getting flustered and failing to recognize he liked you back the whole time.” Sunghoon laughed.

They continued to give Sunghoon tips and ideas on how to flirt and be more confident. He payed close attention, taking mental notes the whole time.

“Jay, are you okay?” Jake interrupted the subject.

“What?” Jay asked, seemingly coming out of a haze. Sunghoon had been so focused trying to catch every tip his friends were giving him, he barely noticed Jay had been a little out for a while.

“You’re too quiet.”

“Oh, I’m fine. I guess I really don’t have a lot of advice on this topic.” He gave a halfhearted laugh.

“Alright, then.”

“Well, this was more helpful than I thought it would be.” Sunghoon said. “Thank you, guys!”

“Never mind it, we’re here for you, man. Well, what are you gonna do now?” Jake asked.

“Flirt and annoy him into loving me, I guess.”

“I meant right now.”

“Yeah, are you not gonna feed us?” Heeseung asked. “We were planning to order Chinese food today, but we came here for you.”

“Oh…” Sunghoon thought for a moment. “Then you guys go ahead and order some food. I have an idea of what I’m gonna do now.” He smiled.

Sunoo sat in a round table in the study room of his university, staring at his computer screen.

This is so stupid, he thought. He knew he wouldn’t do anything if he kept thinking about it, so he cleared his mind and started typing.

Word by word, the question appeared on the search box.

am i in love with my best friend

He pressed enter.

Sunoo barely had time to check more than two websites before he heard a voice behind him, nearly giving him a heart attack.

“What are you doing?” Riki asked and sipped the straw of his chocolate milk.

Sunoo turned at him startled, but before he could close the tab or give him an answer, Riki’s eyes lit up at the screen.

“Ohhh, Jungwon is gonna wanna see this.” He commented, grabbing his phone and quickly typing something.

“Wait, no! It’s not what it looks.” Sunoo exclaimed, quickly closing the tab.

“He’s on his way.” Riki ignored him and took a seat by his side.

Sunoo knew it was pointless to try to explain himself now. He resignedly sighed and stood in silence until Jungwon’s arrival, which didn’t take too long. The boy showed up at the door and came running to them.

“I’m so glad I decided to skip class today.” Jungwon said, slightly out of breath, taking the other seat beside Sunoo on the round table. “Okay, speak.”

“Sunoo is in love with Sunghoon,” Riki explained.

“What?” Jungwon and Sunoo exclaimed at the same time with completely different expressions.

“No, I’m not,” Sunoo defended himself.

“Why were you searching that, then?” Riki questioned.

“What was he searching?” Jungwon asked curiously.

“Signs you’re in love with your best friend or something.”

“Oh, I thought it would take you a little longer to get to this point.” He smirked.

“Wait, let me explain,” Sunoo said and they stared at him expectantly. “I don’t know if I’m actually, you know… ‘in love’ with him. I just have been feeling weird around him lately and I don’t know why.”

“That’s still a very specific google search, though,” Riki pointed out.

“What are you feeling?” Jungwon asked.

“It might just be because what you guys told me has been messing with my head, but I can’t stop thinking about him. I keep noticing everything he does and sometimes I’ll get nervous when he’s too close. Last weekend, we were at the park and he picked me up to annoy me, but I got so shy I couldn't even look at him. It’s probably nothing, but—”

“Oh my God, Sunoo! You are in love with him!” Jungwon exclaimed, shaking Sunoo’s arm.

“I don’t know!”

“I’m not asking!”

“How can you tell just by that?”

“Think about it. When did you ever get nervous because of Sunghoon? He’s your best friend, you shouldn’t normally feel that way around him.”

“But it could be just because I think he might like me.”

“Maybe, that’s why you need to look at all the signs.”

“What signs?”

“Like, do you think he’s handsome?” Riki asked casually.

“Of course he is. I don’t have to like him to think that,” Sunoo answered.

“Do you think his lips are pretty?”

“Uh, yeah… He has nice lips.” He replied and Riki and Jungwon glanced at each other with sly smiles.

“Have you ever thought of kissing him?” Jungwon asked.

“I, uh…” Sunoo trailed off. It was too embarrassing to admit something like that. Sunoo just avoided their stares and thought of how to change the subject, but he couldn’t think of anything fast enough and his friends wouldn’t just dismiss such a topic.

“He has literally kissed Sunghoon before, of course he wants to kiss him,” Riki argued.

“You’re right, he’s blushing,” Jungwon said with a mischievous smile. “Ohhh, you wanna kiss him so bad.” He teased and poked Sunoo.

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Sunoo defended himself, not being able to deny their accusations. “Everyone has thought of kissing their friends before.”

“Yeah, but when the thought is too constant, it probably means something else.”

“Well, you’re one to talk. You think I don’t know about you and Jay?”

“What?” Jungwon’s smile dropped and his eyes widened.

“Come on, you really thought I wouldn’t notice it?”

“But how… how did you know?”

“Well, you’re not exactly subtle. I was waiting for you to tell me when you were ready, but you never did.”

“I…” Jungwon started, looking like a lost kitty.

“I’m not mad, don’t worry.” Sunoo held his hand. “I just wish you would tell me stuff like this. You can trust me, you know?”

“But there’s nothing to tell, we’re not dating!” Jungwon desperately tried to explain. “It was supposed to be a one time thing, I swear. I don’t know how it came to this point!”

“Wait, what? So there’s actually something going on between you two?”

“That’s not what you were talking about?”

“No, I was talking about you wanting to kiss him and having a crush on him.”

“But I don’t!” Jungwon exclaimed and Riki scoffed. Jungwon glanced at him with dark eyes.

“What? Don’t get mad at me now, I didn’t tell him anything,” Riki said defensively.

“You knew?” Sunoo asked Riki.

“Unfortunately, yes. I accidentally caught them making out in the bathroom of that party we went to three months ago and they made me swear I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“So this has been going on for three months now?”

“Well, a little more than that,” Jungwon corrected in a small voice.

“Okay, I need to know everything.”

“But—” Jungwon helplessly started, but got interrupted.

“Everything,” Sunoo repeated, emphasizing every syllable.

So Jungwon told him the full story. A few months back, he had kissed Jay in a random club. They agreed that it would be the only time, but it kept happening every time they went out. After some weeks, it had evolved to happening almost every time they were alone in the same room, which was a common occurrence, as they had started visiting each other more often too.

“Why don’t you two just get together?” Sunoo asked once Jungwon had finished the story.

“Because I don’t like him that way.” Jungwon said, averting his gaze from the boys.

“Jungwon, did you hear anything you told me? Whatever you feel about him, it’s pretty obvious you see him as more than a friend.”

“Thank you!” Riki exclaimed. “I’ve been trying to tell him the same for months now.”

“But… You guys don’t get it.” Jungwon sighed. “Relationships can be too complicated and I’m scared that if we try something else, it might not work out, and then I’ll lose him forever. Being with him like this is enough already.”

“It might be enough for now, but how far can you take it? The longer you keep it, the more it will hurt when you stop it,” Sunoo argued.

“I’m gonna stop, I will. I just want to enjoy this for a while longer.”

“What if he likes you?” Riki suddenly questioned.

“What?”

“If he likes you, you’re probably hurting him from giving him expectations you don’t intend to keep.”

“He doesn’t. He agreed when I said we’re just friends with benefits.” Jungwon explained bitterly.

“In that case, you’re hurting yourself,” Sunoo said. “Do you really think he would want that? Even if he doesn’t like you, he’s your friend, he wouldn’t continue this is he knew you were hurting.”

“Well, he doesn’t have to know.”

“Jungwon, please, just think about it. Someday you’ll have to tell him and your friendship will never be the same again. It won’t go back to what it was, you might as well give it a chance to be something more.”

Jungwon gave a weary sigh and let his head fall forward. “Okay, I’ll think about it. Just give me some time.”

The three went to Sunoo’s place that night for an improvised sleepover in an attempt of making Jungwon feel better.

They ordered food for dinner and later brought the mattress to the living room to watch movies, but ended up using it just to sit and talk while having drinks.

Jungwon’s mood had noticeably improved and they were all having a great time, specially considering it had been too long since the three of them had last spent time like this together.

They were laughing at some story Riki was telling when they heard a knock on the door, making them stop and exchange looks.

“I’ll get it.” Sunoo said, getting up with his drink in hand and laying it on the coffee table.

He opened the door and found Sunghoon staring back at him.

“Hyung?” Sunoo asked surprised.

“Hey…” Sunghoon smiled.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just… Can I come in first?” He asked, taking a step forward.

Sunoo didn’t have anything to hide, but felt weirdly hesitant about letting him in. “Okay.” He slowly came out of the way.

Sunghoon took off his shoes and put on slippers, noticing the extra pairs of shoes beside Sunoo’s. He took two steps and stopped on his tracks when he saw the two boys sitting on the mattress in the living room.

“Hey, hyung,” Riki and Jungwon happily greeted, waving at him.

“What… are you guys doing here?” Sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows.

“We’re having a sleepover,” Jungwon answered.

“On a Tuesday?”

“What, are you the sleepover police now?”

“Why wasn’t I invited?” he asked, seeming a little betrayed.

Jungwon scoffed. “Why should we invite you? You never invite us to your sleepovers.”

“Sunoo is our friend too, you know…” Riki said, a smile creeping on his lips. “It’s only fair we get to sleep with him, you don’t need to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous,” Sunghoon immediately replied.

“Why are you here, hyung?” Sunoo asked, taking his attention away from the boys trying his patience. “Did something happen?”

“Uh, I was wondering if I could sleep over here today.”

The trio exchanged looks, as if communicating telepathically.

“Why?” Sunoo asked hesitantly.

“Do I need a reason to sleep over at my best friend’s place now?”

“No, it’s just, you would usually let me know beforehand,” Sunoo quickly explained.

Sunghoon sighed. “Actually, I… lost the keys to my apartment,” he looked down dejectedly, taking a quick glance at Sunoo’s reaction. “I have checked my backpack 3 times already. I think they fell on the bus or somewhere on the way, but it’s too dark now to look for it.”

“Oh…”

“But don’t worry, I’m not gonna bother you guys,” He said, casually taking a seat on the sofa and making himself comfortable. “Here’s what we can do: Jungwon and Riki can sleep on the mattress and Sunoo and I will take the couch, it’s definitely big enough for us if we squeeze a little.”

“Uh…” Sunoo continued to exchange looks with the boys in the mattress. “I’ll be right back.” He excused himself, going to his room.

Sunoo checked his desk, his wardrobe and his drawers as he kept his ears attentive to the conversation going on in the living room.

“The couch is too uncomfortable, hyung,” Riki argued.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t it be better if you went to Jay’s place instead?” Jungwon suggested.

“I think Heeseung and Jake have a spare mattress too.”

“Are you two trying to get rid of me?” Sunghoon asked.

“What? No, we would never,” Jungwon dismissed it. “We just want you to sleep comfortably.”

“Were you talking about something I’m not supposed to know?”

“Well, we were talking about all the topics usually talked about in sleepovers,” Jungwon paused. “You know… college, grades, gossip… boys.” Sunoo could hear the venom falling out of Jungwon’s lips as he pronounced the last word. Truthfully, they had barely touched the topic, but of course Jungwon would use it to annoy Sunghoon. Sunoo almost felt sorry for the older, but deep down he enjoyed watching his reactions just as much.

“Oh, I see,” Sunghoon’s voice changed, although he was noticeably trying not to let it show.

Sunoo laughed to himself. Finally, he found what he’d been looking for. He quickly returned to the living room before the two boys could distress Sunghoon’s poor little brain any further.

“Well, I’m sorry to disturb your super important conversation about boys, but I refuse to walk all the way to Jay’s apartment now,” Sunghoon said pettily, “Sunoo is already bringing me extra clothes to spend the night, so I guess I’m staying.” He told Jungwon and Riki with a triumphant expression as Sunoo walked toward him.

“Actually,” Sunoo started, “I have good news. I still have the spare key you left with me when you moved into your apartment.” He extended his arm, handing the older the key. Sunghoon’s expression changed the moment he saw the object, hesitatingly taking it from Sunoo’s hand.

“Wow, you’re so lucky, hyung!” Riki exclaimed, barely containing a smile.

“Yeah, who would have thought Sunoo still kept a spare key?” Jungwon stared at Sunghoon with that familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. “It’s been so long, you had probably even forgotten about it, right?”

“Right,” Sunghoon replied with a restrained voice, still seeming too stunned to say anything else.

“Well, I guess that means you can sleep in the comfort of your big empty bed tonight instead of having to squeeze yourself with Sunoo on the couch.”

“I guess so.”

“And don’t worry about Sunoo, we'll take good care of him. He’ll sleep between me and Jungwon on the mattress, as we always do,” Riki observed.

“Yeah, this way we can both cuddle him,” Jungwon complemented.

Sunoo could see the light in Sunghoon’s eyes die out as he stared at the key in his hand, and he could also feel Jungwon and Riki getting ready to open their mouths again.

“Have you had dinner yet?” he asked Sunghoon, before the two boys could say anything else. “You can eat something here before you go.”

“Uh, thanks, but I’m not too hungry now. I’ll just eat when I get home.”

“Okay.”

Sunghoon got up and walked toward the exit, with Sunoo following behind him.

“Thanks for keeping the spare key.” He said as he crossed the door.

“Well, you still keep mine as well, don’t you?” Sunoo observed.

“Of course,” the older smiled at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you.” Sunoo leaned against the door and watched the boy walk away.

Sunghoon took one step downstairs before Sunoo was taken by an impulse. “Wait!” The younger exclaimed, rapidly walking toward him.

The older turned around, standing one step below him, and Sunoo threw his arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug.

He felt Sunghoon’s breath on his neck and his arms wrapping around his waist. Sunoo let himself drown in the feeling for a moment — in the strength of his arms, the scent of his shampoo, the touch of his hands and the heat of his body.

When Sunoo finally let go, Sunghoon stared at him, seeming a little taken by surprise.

“What was that for?” the older asked.

“Do I need a reason to hug my best friend now?” Sunoo raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining,” he smiled. Sunoo felt his heart skip a beat, but now he had the feeling he could get used to it.

Chapter Text

“He had a spare key,” Sunghoon explained as he miserably walked back inside Jay’s apartment.

“Oh…” Jay looked at him pitifully. “You could have said you had changed your lock or something.”

“There was no point. I had already been defeated and Jungwon and Riki wouldn’t have left me alone, anyway,” he said as he looked around. Heeseung and Jake were nowhere to be found, meaning they had probably already gone back to their place.

“Jungwon and Riki?”

“Yeah, they were having a sleepover.”

“On a Tuesday?” Jay furrowed his eyebrows.

“Exactly, I asked the same!” Sunghoon exclaimed as he took a seat on the couch. “But they didn’t give any specific reason and were clearly trying to get rid of me. When I questioned it, Jungwon just said they were talking about normal sleepover stuff, which included ‘boys’ for whatever reason.”

“Wait, do you think one of them is seeing someone?” Jay worriedly asked as he took a seat beside Sunghoon, turned to him.

“I don’t know! Sunoo hasn’t told me anything about meeting anyone lately, except for Beomgyu, but both of them made it very clear they weren’t interested in each other.”

Jay thought for a moment. “Did Beomgyu say anything about Jungwon?”

“Uh, no. Not as far as I remember. Why?”

“Well, he clearly has a preference for cute boys. Maybe he could try to go for Jungwon next.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Sunghoon said pensively. “Do you think I should give him Jungwon’s number?”

“What? No!” Jay replied like the idea was absurd.

“Why not? I thought you agreed Beomgyu was nice.”

“He is, but… he doesn’t seem like Jungwon’s type.”

“Are you sure? He seemed to like Beomgyu a lot the day we talked about him.”

“I know, but…” Jay sighed and paused for a moment. “Listen, you have to promise you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you,” his demeanor suddenly became serious.

“Okay.”

And so, Jay told him how him and Jungwon had been friends with benefits for a few months then. It had started out innocently, but, with time, he had gotten more and more attached to the boy, and now wasn’t willing to stop what they had going on. Jungwon had told him they were still just friends and Jay had agreed, so it was too late to go back now and he couldn’t confess for the fear of ruining their friendship. He had considered asking for help before, but both had promised to keep this as a secret between them, although Riki had managed to find out at some point.

Jay opened his heart as he had never seen him do before. Sunghoon once again took the opportunity to open up about Sunoo and they ended up spending hours talking and drinking beer, pouring their hearts out until they fell asleep on the couch.

When Sunghoon woke up again, he saw a bunch of empty bottles laying around the coffee table and Jay still asleep with his head on Sunghoon’s shoulder and one hand around his waist.

Then he realized that the noise that had awaken him had come from the door — the sound of the digital lock being unlocked and someone coming in.

“Sunghoon hyung?” Jungwon asked surprised.

“Heyyy, Jungwon…” Sunghoon said, harshly pushing Jay out of his arm and making the boy jolt awake.

“What are you doing here?”

“You know, I lost my keys…”

“But Sunoo gave you the spare one.”

“Yeah, uh, they didn’t work,” he lied. “Probably too old and stuff.”

“Ah, I see…” Jungwon nodded, but didn’t seem too convinced. “By the way, you should check your phone. Sunoo was pretty mad you didn’t pick up his calls last night and you still haven’t read his messages this morning.”

Sunghoon quickly got up, looking around for his phone. He picked it up and sat back down. 5 missed calls and 16 text messages.

“He wanted to text you more, but I told him you were probably just too tired to look at your phone yesterday and had slept in this morning,” Jungwon explained. “It seems I was right,” he chuckled with a sly grin.

“Jungwon…” Jay asked, holding his head, seeming to have just now processed what was going on. “What are you doing here?”

“You don’t remember, hyung?” Jungwon looked at him as if silently communicating something. “We agreed to work on that project this morning.”

“Oh, right…” Jay seemed to have a realization. “That one.”

Sunghoon knew there was no project, but he didn’t want to come between whatever was actually happening between the two. “I think I’m gonna go now.” He interrupted. “Sunoo isn’t very happy and it’ll probably take more than one ice cream to fix this.”

“Wanna have breakfast first?” Jay offered.

“No, I’m good.” He said, quickly picking up his things and leaving the two alone.

“We need to talk,” was the last thing Sunghoon vaguely heard Jungwon say after closing the door of the apartment.

Sunghoon went to his place to grab a quick breakfast and take a shower before rushing to college. He was late enough that he had missed his first class, and he had another priority right then. He bought Sunoo’s favorite snack at the cafeteria and waited outside his class.

The older had texted him back and apologized, but Sunoo had only read his messages, probably still upset with him.

When the class was over, Sunghoon watched the people coming out of the room, expectantly waiting for Sunoo. The boy finally appeared, happily talking to one of his classmates, but stopped on his tracks as soon as he saw Sunghoon.

He waved goodbye to the person he’d been talking to and walked toward his best friend with a completely different expression from before.

“So, why didn’t you pick up my calls last night?” Sunoo asked, crossing his arms.

“I put my phone on silent and forgot to change it later,” Sunghoon explained weakly, and it was true.

“But you couldn’t even remember to text me to tell me you got home safe?”

“I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“Well, I didn’t, and I kept wondering if you had been kidnapped or murdered on the way. I thought your phone could have run out of battery, but you only checked it again like 2 hours ago.”

Sunghoon quietly received the scolding, despite Sunoo being a little exaggerated. He knew he would also have been worried if it had been the younger doing that to him instead. Although he hated to see Sunoo mad at him, he found it cute and couldn’t help the warmth in his chest to know the boy worried so much about him.

“Do you have anything else to say?” Sunoo questioned.

“I… bought your favorite snack.” Sunghoon answered, extending his arm to give him the bag.

Sunoo stared at him, not even taking a glance at his hand. “Did you even go back home last night?” His voice was softer, more upset than angry.

“I…” Sunghoon didn’t want to lie to him, “I didn’t,” he answered in a small voice, looking down. “How did you know?”

“You walked away in the opposite direction of your apartment,” Sunoo explained. He had easily caught Sunghoon, but it was a bit heart fluttering to think the younger had been watching him walk away. “Look, I don’t know if there’s something else going on, but you can trust me. You don’t need to tell me right now, you can do it when you’re ready, but talk to me.” He exhaled with pleading eyes.

“But everything is fine, there’s nothing going on!” Sunghoon quickly tried to explain himself, but Sunoo still didn’t seem to fully believe his words. The older sighed. “Listen, the truth is I didn’t lose my keys,” he confessed and saw Sunoo furrow his eyebrows in confusion, “I just said that so you’d let me sleep over.”

“Why?”

Sunghoon took one of Sunoo’s hands on impulse and swayed it softly. His eyes were down, following the movement as he explained his motives. “Because there’s a lot going on right now and I’ve been stressed with college and other things and… I missed you. I know we see each other every day, but I wanted to spend some time alone with you and I didn’t wanna wait until the weekend. I know it’s dumb, but it was the best excuse I could come up with. Still, I’m sorry for lying.” His eyes met Sunoo's.

The younger now stared at him mesmerized. “Sunghoon, you could have just told me.”

“But it was too stupid. What kind of people have a sleepover on a Tuesday?” He retorted. “Jungwon and Riki, apparently,” he pettily answered himself in a lower voice.

“First of all, I don’t understand your issue with sleepovers on Tuesdays, and second, it’s not stupid at all. You said it yourself, you don’t need a reason to sleep over at your best friend’s place. If I knew you were feeling this way, I would’ve never let you go back alone.” Sunoo’s eyes now gazed at him sweetly. “And where did even you go last night, if you didn’t go back home?”

“I went to Jay’s. We drank and went to sleep late, that’s why I only saw your texts this morning.”

“You walked all the way to Jay’s?”

“Yeah, I was sad. I didn’t wanna be alone then. You kind of destroyed me in front of Jungwon and Riki just when I thought I had won the right to sleep over.”

Sunoo threw his head back laughing. “I’m so sorry. You see, this is why you should’ve been honest with me. I would have found a way to make you stay if I knew.”

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

Sunoo looked up pretending to think for a moment. “I do, but make sure to tell me the truth and reply to my texts next time.”

“I will.”

“Can I have my snack now?”

“Why? You already forgave me, you don’t need the snack anymore.” Sunghoon smiled and started to walk away.

“Hey! Don’t forget you still owe me ice cream and you’re two days late.” Sunoo followed close behind.

As always, Sunghoon was easily convinced, so once both were done with their classes in the late afternoon, they left for Sunoo’s favorite ice cream shop — only to find it closed, since it was past working time. Sunoo said it was fine, but Sunghoon insisted they looked for another shop. No places near them seemed to be opened at that time, so the older had the idea to go to a convenience store and buy some ice cream to take home.

Later, they went back to Sunoo’s place and decided to watch a movie as they had their snacks.

Sunoo went to his bedroom to drop his things while Sunghoon stood in the living room, thinking of the night before. He was staring at the floor, where the mattress had been, when Sunoo came back and took him out of his haze.

“Did you choose a movie?” Sunoo asked.

“Uh, no.”

“Why haven’t you sat down yet?”

“I was thinking, um…” Sunghoon pondered whether he should actually say it. The more he thought about it, the sillier it seemed. “No, it’s nothing.”

“What is it? Come on, you said you’d be honest with me.”

“It’s just that… you never bring the mattress to the living room when I come over,” he explained in a small voice.

He could see a smile creeping on Sunoo’s lips, but thankfully the younger contained it and just said, “okay, let’s do it, then.”

They brought the mattress and got the snacks and drinks ready.

Sunoo took his time getting comfortable as he sat on the mattress and rested his back against the couch with a bunch of pillows in between. Sunghoon attempted to do the same, but there was only one pillow left.

“Hey, give me one of your pillows. I only have one,” Sunghoon said.

“But you only need one,” Sunoo argued.

“It’s easy for you to say when you got all of them. You don’t even need this many, just give me one.”

“I can’t. I just found the perfect spot. If I take any of these out, I’ll ruin it.”

“What am supposed to do, then? Have back pain?” Sunghoon retorted.

“You’re so dramatic.” Sunoo laughed. “There’s a better and more comfortable seat you’re not considering,” he hinted with a playful smile.

Sunghoon looked around confusedly. “Where? I’m not gonna sit on the couch, we brought the mattress for a reason,” he whined, making Sunoo laugh harder.

“I don’t mean the couch, I mean here.” The younger explained, patting the space on the mattress between his legs.

“Oh.” Sunghoon felt himself become a little nervous at the idea.

Be confident, Jake had told him.

“You’re right, that is the best seat.” Sunghoon smiled, but felt his cheeks get warmer from saying that. He hoped it didn’t sound as awkward as it did in his head.

He moved to sit in front of Sunoo as the younger grabbed the last pillow and placed it in front of himself. Sunghoon began to hesitantly lie down, but Sunoo held his shoulders and pulled him against him in a swift move, sliding his hands to rest on his chest.

Sunghoon’s back rested against the pillow, but his head was lying directly on Sunoo’s chest, near his shoulder. Up this close, he couldn’t ignore the warmth of his body and the feeling of his arms around him. There was truly no place more comfortable than this.

“How is it?” Sunoo asked, lips almost brushing against his ear.

“It’s good,” was all he managed to say, bringing his own hands to hold Sunoo’s on his chest.

“See? I told you you only needed one pillow.”

They spent 15 minutes considering options for what to watch, eventually settling for Howl’s Moving Castle again.

Halfway into the movie, Sunoo brought his hands to Sunghoon’s hair, softly massaging and running his fingers through his locks.

“I might sleep if you do that,” Sunghoon warned, a hint of sleepiness already in his voice.

“It’s okay, we already watched this movie,” Sunoo spoke in a low voice close to his ear, giving him chills. “Do you wanna lie down?”

“No, I like it better like this.” Sunghoon closed his eyes and let himself get immersed in the sweet feeling of Sunoo’s hands on his hair. The soft rise and fall of his chest under him felt like a lullaby, guiding him to sleep.

Sunghoon was almost drifting off when he noticed Sunoo’s hands stop, quietly untangling from his hair. He missed the touch, but didn’t have enough strength to say anything. He thought the boy would rest his hands on his chest again, but instead, he felt Sunoo’s fingertips brush the hair on his forehead, sliding to his cheek and caressing it softly. Sunghoon’s breath almost hitched in his throat when a thumb ran through his lips. Suddenly, he didn’t feel as sleepy anymore, but he was too scared to open his eyes.

He focused on controlling his heartbeat, which seemed like an impossible task right then, and worried Sunoo might have noticed it too. However, the boy seemed to be convinced Sunghoon was asleep, judging by the way he touched his face — that familiar touch, which Sunghoon had felt only once before, the day they kissed.

Would Sunoo kiss him again? Sunghoon’s chest tightened, hoping and wishing he would. He kept himself as still as possible, waiting for Sunoo’s next move.

The thumb on his lip moved away and the hand on his cheek pulled his face closer — so, so gently, as if Sunoo was terrified of disturbing the boy in his arms. The younger moved under him, almost imperceptibly, stirring the chaos in his mind and the butterflies in his stomach. Nothing had happened, and yet he felt dizzy with anticipation.

His breath softly brushed Sunghoon’s face, carrying a trace of the ice cream the younger had had before. Sunghoon didn’t like mint-chocolate, but there was no other flavor he’d rather taste right then.

He almost closed the distance between them, desperate to feel Sunoo’s mouth again, but held back, as being in his hands was too good a feeling to be rushed. So he waited. He waited for what felt like an eternity, but was probably nothing more than a few seconds, and the kiss finally landed.

Sunoo softly pressed his lips on his cheek. They felt moist, which meant he had most likely licked them right before. It wasn’t the kiss Sunghoon had been expecting, but it raced his heart and warmed his body the same. Sunoo let it linger for a moment and slowly parted, once again caressing his face.

The boy let his hands drop to Sunghoon’s chest, holding his hands again and quietly resting his head against Sunghoon’s.

The older couldn’t tell if he had gone back to watching the movie or if he was falling asleep as well. He resisted the urge to open his eyes and simply let his mind wonder back to the thought of Sunoo's lips as he felt the younger softly caress the back of his hands.

Being so close to Sunoo, he would normally take longer to fall asleep, but this time, before he knew, he was drifting off again.

Chapter Text

It’s normal to want to kiss your friends. At least, that’s what Sunoo told himself.

Sunghoon rested peaceful and quiet in his arms. Sunoo knew how pretty his best friend was — it was common knowledge —, but it was in times like this he could truly appreciate his beauty. The older was so close, Sunoo could easily see all the details on his face: his eyebrows, his eyelashes, his moles. His lips.

In a moment, Sunghoon’s cheek felt warm against his hand. Sunoo stared at his lips hypnotized — they felt so soft under his touch, the younger couldn’t help wondering what they would taste like.

The temptation was too strong.

Just a bit closer, Sunoo thought. Just a bit closer and their lips would touch.

He softly pulled the boy asleep in his hold, careful not to startle him. The younger moved a little, just enough to bring himself closer, feeling the beat of his heart pulse out of his chest.

It was just a kiss. They had done it before and Sunghoon didn’t seem to mind it. In fact, if Sunghoon actually thought of him as more than a friend, he might have liked it, even. The idea made Sunoo a little dizzy — what if Sunghoon wanted to kiss him too? He had caught the older staring at his lips before, could it mean something?

It’s just a kiss, he told himself again as he felt restless butterflies swirl around his stomach. They were too close, mere centimeters away. Sunoo licked his own lips, anticipating the moment he’d been thinking about for days now.

However, before he let himself close the distance between them, something different echoed in his mind. Guilt. Sunghoon was his best friend and he trusted him, how could Sunoo take advantage of that? Even if the boy did have feelings for him, even if he wanted to kiss him as well, he should be the one to tell him. As much as Sunoo wanted to believe in those things, he should wait until Sunghoon was ready.

Maybe one day he would kiss Sunghoon’s lips again, but he would settle for his cheek now.

Sunoo woke up with the sound of a notification on his phone. He checked the time. It was already 9:31 pm and they hadn’t even had dinner yet. The movie had probably been over for quite some time, since another one had been automatically started on queue.

Jungwon had sent him a message. Apparently, he had bought a cake for Jay’s birthday, but Riki hadn’t got the memo and had eaten almost half of it. Jay’s birthday was in just a few hours and all the good stores had already closed. It would also be too expensive to order another one then and they would all be too busy at college on the next day to buy it. Neither of them trusted Riki with the job and Jake and Heeseung hadn’t even received their texts yet.

They talked and considered their options, coming to the conclusion that the safest one was for one of them to bake a cake that night or in the next morning. Sunoo said Jungwon had better skills, but the younger insisted he was busy. After some pressure, he admitted he was at Jay’s place and wouldn’t be able to bake the cake without ruining the surprise, so Sunoo really was the best option out of the two.

“Sunghoonie…” Sunoo called softly. “Wake up.”

“Hm?” The older groaned, slowly opening his eyes.

“We have work to do.”

“Let’s sleep a little more…” He yawned and turned his head to the other side.

The younger felt tempted to comply, but they had an issue that couldn’t be postponed. “We need to bake a cake for Jay.”

“I don’t know how to bake.”

“We haven’t even had dinner yet. Come on, let’s get up.” Sunoo pushed his shoulders.

Sunghoon started to move, but instead of getting up, he turned around and hastily pulled Sunoo’s thighs, lying the boy on his back. The older grabbed the pillow between them and threw it away before lying back on Sunoo, this time facing him.

Sunoo felt a heat rise in his stomach. The older had handled him so effortlessly, he was speechless for a moment.

“No.” Sunghoon said as he rested his cheek on Sunoo’s chest and closed his eyes again.

Sunoo was flabbergasted. “What do you mean, ‘no’?”

“I’m not getting up,” he lazily muttered.

“At least let me get up, then.”

“No.”

Sunoo huffed. “You think I’m not strong enough to push you away?”

Sunghoon gave a soft chuckle. Sunoo knew he enjoyed seeing him mad, but deep down, the younger also enjoyed playing along his games. Besides, this was an attack on his pride.

“Hey! Are you underestimating me? For your information, I can definitely get out of here if I want to,” Sunoo proudly stated.

“You can try,” Sunghoon replied in a low voice.

Sunoo had a point to prove now. He put his hands on Sunghoon’s shoulders and used his whole body to try to push the older away, lifting his back on the process. Sunghoon took the chance and wrapped his arms around his waist, clinging even closer.

The younger did his best to push and kick him away, but Sunghoon remained unaffected, holding him tightly.

“That’s not fair!” Sunoo complained.

“You’re trying to abandon me. I have the right to fight back,” Sunghoon mumbled.

“You won’t be abandoned if you come with me.”

“You’re choosing Jay over me.”

“I’m not. And he’s your friend too. Don’t you want him to have a nice cake on his birthday?”

“Why can’t Jungwon make it?”

“Jungwon is… busy. Come on, let’s do it.”

“Fine, but let’s stay here just 5 more minutes,” Sunghoon asked in a sleepy voice.

“Sunghoon…”

“Please, baby,” he said softly, looking up at him with doe eyes.

Sunoo’s heart jumped at the name. Sunghoon had called him that a few times before, but not enough to get him used to it. Maybe the older was purposefully using that to convince him and Sunoo hated how effective it was. He also had a few weaknesses, after all.

“5 minutes,” Sunoo complied, “but as soon as the alarm goes off, we’ll get up.” He stated, taking his phone and setting a timer.

“Okay.” Sunghoon agreed, moving to rest his head on his shoulder and making himself more comfortable in Sunoo’s hold. The younger wrapped his arms around him, enjoying the weight of Sunghoon’s body over him.

And if Sunoo had set a 10-minute timer instead, Sunghoon didn’t have to know about it.

Once they woke up again, there was no resistance to get up. They changed into comfortable clothes, cleaned up the living room and went to the kitchen.

Neither of them were too hungry, but Sunghoon had insisted Sunoo should eat something, so they made two simple bowls of ramyeon.

By the time they had finished, it was 10:20 pm.

Sunoo sat on top of the kitchen island and looked for a recipe on his phone.

“Okay, let’s see… First, take the floor, the butter, the milk and the eggs.” He said and Sunghoon obediently picked the ingredients.

“How many eggs?”

“Ten.”

Sunghoon looked at him confusedly. “Ten? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s what it says here.”

“Let me see.” The older reached for the phone, but Sunoo dodged him.

“You don’t even know how to bake, why are you questioning me?”

“I’m not, I just wanna see it.”

“You don’t trust me?” Sunoo questioned, raising his eyebrows.

“I don’t trust the recipe,” Sunghoon corrected. He reached for the phone again and Sunoo held it up high behind himself.

“Same thing,” Sunoo retorted pettily.

“Give me the phone.”

“No.”

Sunghoon moved again, getting closer and pressing against him as far as he could to reach the object, but Sunoo had his legs closed, pushing him away with his free hand.

The older gazed at him already seeming slightly impatient, a fire growing in his eyes. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

Sunoo felt his heart skip a beat. He wasn’t sure what “this” was, but he was dying to find out. The way Sunghoon stared at him almost made him forget about the recipe. He remained quiet, unsure of what to say, and the older seemed to take it as a challenge.

Sunghoon smirked and gave a chuckle. “Fine,” his voice had dropped almost an octave.

He spread Sunoo’s legs and held his thighs, hastily pulling him closer to the edge of the counter and fitting himself between his legs.

Sunoo yelped and involuntarily brought a hand to Sunghoon’s chest in a weak attempt to keep him away. The move had been so sudden and they were so close, he felt a chill run through his body.

Sunghoon reached for the hand that held the phone. He was faster and rougher now, but Sunoo refused to give up — he did it for his pride. Certainly for his pride, and not because the way Sunghoon touched and pressed against him was too good a feeling to end so soon.

They fought for a while, up until the point where Sunoo was hiding the object behind himself, near the small of his back. Sunghoon had his arms around him, clinging to the phone over Sunoo’s hands. They were face to face and neither were willing to let go.

Was this even about the recipe anymore?

“Drop it,” Sunghoon ordered. His voice lit a fire inside Sunoo, although the younger wouldn’t easily admit it.

“No.”

“Last chance.”

“Or what?” Sunoo dared.

That was when Sunoo felt the hands that had been over his ease their grip and move to his waist, tickling him everywhere they touched. Despite his change of tactics, Sunoo could still feel the tension between them as the older stared at him with a merciless glint in his eyes.

He screamed and wiggled, trying to break free, but Sunghoon had total control over him right then.

“That’s not fair,” Sunoo whined.

Sunghoon stopped for a moment, grip tight on his waist. “Give me the phone and I’ll stop.”

“I won’t,” he said stubbornly and saw Sunghoon’s eyes glint again. That look sent a shiver down his spine in a mix of fear and excitement.

But much to his surprise, the older didn’t continue the torture. Instead, one of his hands moved to Sunoo’s knee, making the younger gasp.

“I know you’re ticklish here.” Sunghoon threatened in a low voice, almost a whisper.

Sunoo’s breath hitched in his throat. There was a heat pooling in his stomach and he was starting to feel a little dizzy. Sunghoon closely watched his reactions, but the younger didn’t notice, as his gaze followed the hand softly climbing up his thigh, almost reaching the most sensitive parts.

He knew the older wouldn’t stop tormenting him until he obeyed, but he wasn’t willing to give in just yet.

Sunghoon had weaknesses Sunoo knew too well. The older had a limit when it came to playing around and Sunoo could easily use it to his own advantage if he chose the right words.

“Hyung, if you don’t stop,” Sunoo said, slightly out of breath.

The hand on his thigh froze.

“I might…” The younger breathed out.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, expectant to hear his threat. “You might?” He was clearly having too much fun bullying the younger.

There was only one thing Sunoo could think of right then that could still get him to win the game and make Sunghoon back off.

Sunoo suddenly felt his heart beat faster at the thought. It used to be so easy for him to joke around and flirt with Sunghoon, but right then he could feel his cheeks grow warm at the idea of what was about to speak.

He gathered all his courage and defiantly gazed into Sunghoon’s eyes.

“I might kiss you.”

The older was struck for a moment and Sunoo knew he had won. The boy would certainly let go and start blushing anytime then.

However, his victory didn’t last too long. Sunghoon’s surprise quickly turned into a smile — a very sly one.

“You think that’s a threat?” Sunghoon asked amusedly.

The hand on Sunoo’s waist slid to his back, closing around the tight grip he had on his phone. Sunoo tried not to think about how Sunghoon’s hand was big and strong enough to envelope both his hands together.

The younger felt the touch on his thigh fade away and instantly missed the heat, but didn’t have enough time to dwell on it. Sunghoon had pressed that hand on the counter, a bit farther behind Sunoo, suddenly leaning his body forward in a way their faces were now mere centimeters away.

“Do it,” Sunghoon dared. “Kiss me if you think that will make me stop.” His eyes gleamed at Sunoo, making it seem more like a request rather than a provocation.

When had Sunghoon become so confident? Out of all the possible reactions the younger had considered, none came close to this. Sunoo’s heart was beating out of his chest and he couldn’t even form a coherent thought. He felt shy under his gaze, but had nowhere to hide.

Sunoo was completely at Sunghoon’s mercy, but the older seemed to take no pity on him.

Sunghoon scanned his face, all the way from his eyes to his lips. He swallowed and Sunoo watched his Adam’s apple bob on his throat.

The younger unconsciously licked his own lips and wished Sunghoon would just kiss him. He knew he wouldn’t, though — this was still a game and Sunghoon’s greatest pleasure was to watch his torment.

Maybe Sunoo should do it. He had wanted to do so for a while and there was Sunghoon, giving him the opportunity he’d been waiting for.

Sunghoon might have only been messing with him, but right then, he looked like he wanted to kiss Sunoo just as much. However, that meant kissing him would be another way of letting him win, and Sunoo couldn’t admit defeat just like that. Even if he did kiss Sunghoon, there was no guarantee the older would let go of the phone.

Still, the temptation got him hungrily staring at Sunghoon’s lips, imagining how red and plump they would look if Sunoo kissed him as he wished and how his lower lip would feel being pulled between his teeth.

“So?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow. He got a little closer and Sunoo leaned back further, relying on the strong arm that was wrapped around his back.

Somewhere along his internal conflict, Sunoo had loosened the grip on his phone and Sunghoon quickly took the chance to take it from his hands. As soon as he had the object, he pulled the younger back and held the phone behind himself, smiling triumphantly.

“I knew you wouldn’t do it. You get shy around good-looking men.” Sunghoon said with a malicious grin before backing away and turning around so Sunoo couldn’t reach him.

Sunoo let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“Hey!” He complained as Sunghoon unlocked his phone and scrolled through the page.

“Aha!” Sunghoon turned back to him. “I told you it was wrong, you were looking at the version meant to serve 30 people!” He proudly announced, showing Sunoo the screen.

Sunoo huffed, turning his head in hopes Sunghoon wouldn’t notice the blush on his face. The older had gone back to normal so quickly, Sunoo felt a little stupid for being nervous.

“Maybe you should be the one to sit and tell me what to do, since you’re so good at reading recipes.” Sunoo said in a petty manner, getting off the counter.

“Maybe I should.” Sunghoon retorted childishly.

Sunoo wouldn’t normally have done that, but there’s was nothing he wanted more than to hide himself right then, which, in that situation, meant focusing on the recipe and having his back to Sunghoon for as long as possible.

The older sat on a chair by the island and guided Sunoo step by step. Eventually, they were back to joking around and the embarrassment the younger had been feeling faded away before he knew.

At times, Sunghoon would offer to do small things, like opening jars and picking up things for him, despite Sunoo claiming he didn’t need any help. He thought it was a little weird, but didn’t complain. Maybe Sunghoon was still trying to make up for not answering his calls and texts before.

The older also kept nagging and pointing out random flaws in Sunoo’s skills, which he assumed was just another way to annoy him, but every time the younger gave him the chance to do it better, Sunghoon would choose to “teach him” instead, being exceptionally touchy on the process.

Sunoo knew very well Sunghoon had never handled a whisk before in his life, and yet, there he was, standing unnecessarily close behind Sunoo and holding his hand over the object to show him the right way to mix the dough.

All these details made them take longer than expected, but, once again, Sunoo wasn’t complaining.

They managed to do a decent job with the icing, keeping it simple so they wouldn’t spoil it.

By 11:53 pm, they were done with the cake, having a pile of dishes to wash. Sunghoon volunteered for the job, since Sunoo had done most of the work so far, so he stayed in the kitchen while the younger left to take a shower.

They decided to keep the mattress in the living room and watch another movie before going to sleep, as neither were too sleepy. However, less than five minutes into it they started talking and soon none of them knew or cared about what was going on in the story anymore.

“If you’re gonna keep coming over every week, we should just move in together,” Sunoo joked at some point. “At least then I’d save some money from rent.”

Sunghoon seemed to think for a while. They had switched their original positions now, with Sunghoon resting his back on the couch and Sunoo lying with his back against his chest. The older had said it wasn’t fair only Sunoo got to have a bunch of pillows, and Sunoo didn’t exactly hate the idea of having Sunghoon’s arms around him.

“You know I wouldn’t wash the dishes every day, right?” Sunghoon pointed out.

“Well, we could split the chores, as long as you cooked for me once in a while.”

“I literally already make you breakfast every time you sleep over. I even got you breakfast in bed that time you were sick.”

“Yeah, but living with me, you’d probably get tired to do it every day.”

“That’s why we’d split the chores, isn’t it? And I could never get tired of doing things for you.” Sunghoon stared into Sunoo’s eyes and brushed the hair on his forehead. The younger felt his heart skip a beat and was mesmerized for a moment before Sunghoon spoke again. “Except the dishes. You’d have to wash them too at some point.”

Sunoo burst out laughing. “So your love for me only goes as far as washing the dishes?”

Sunghoon looked up, pretending to think. “Hm, I think it goes a little further than that.”

Chapter Text

The group met at Jay’s place after college to prepare the surprise for him. Jungwon said he would distract him in the meantime, so they had at least an hour to get things ready. In the end, they took longer than Jungwon had promised, so whatever method he had used to distract him had clearly been very effective.

When they finally arrived, the boys sang happy birthday and attacked Jay with a silly party hat as soon as he walked inside the living room.

They had wanted to put some icing on his face, but Sunoo and Sunghoon had been firmly against the idea, claiming they had taken too long to make a decent job on the cake and they couldn’t just disrespect their masterpiece like that.

“It was all Jungwon’s idea,” Sunoo said. “He has been planning this for two weeks.”

“So when you said you had something prepared for me at home, this is what you meant?” Jay asked Jungwon, still astonished.

“Maybe,” the younger replied with a sly smile.

Jay seemed to forget about the rest of them and held his face with both hands. “You’re unbelievable.” He suddenly pecked Jungwon’s lips and everyone was stunned for a moment.

As soon as he let go, both seemed to realize what he had done.

“I told you they were dating,” Jake softly slapped Heeseung’s arm.

“We’re not!” Jungwon quickly said and Jay stared at him with a questioning look. “I mean, we are, but we only started yesterday.”

“Finally!” Riki exclaimed. “I couldn’t stand it anymore.”

And just like that, although most of them already knew about their situation, everyone ended up finding out about the secret Jungwon and Jay tried to hide for so long.

They all sat around the living room and the two explained how they had spent the night before talking and sharing their feelings, finally realizing they wanted the same thing.

Sunghoon felt happy for his friends, but couldn’t help envying them a little bit. He had spent so much longer hoping that Sunoo would reciprocate his feelings, it was tiring to see almost everyone around him get together except for him.

As Jay talked about his side of the story, Sunghoon’s gaze involuntarily shifted to Sunoo, who was sitting across the room on another couch, attentively listening to Jay.

Although Sunghoon knew Sunoo only saw him as a friend, he didn’t feel as hopeless as before. The things Beomgyu and his friends had told him had convinced him he had a chance. As small as it seemed sometimes, he had to try.

And so he did. Every time he was around Sunoo then, he heard Jake and Heeseung on the back of his mind telling him to be more confident and to flirt however he could. It was a little hard at first, but it didn’t take him many attempts to realize the only thing he had to do was build up the courage to do and say things he already wanted to.

He started to act on his urges and speak what was really on his mind, so the flirting came more naturally than he thought: handling Sunoo on the mattress, insisting for him to stay, getting closer and touching him randomly. It also became easier when he realized that the boy was enjoying the attention, although he noticeably tried not to let it show sometimes.

The hardest moment of the night before had been when Sunoo had threatened to kiss him. Sunghoon had panicked at first, but somehow had managed to calm himself and say the first thing that came to his mind. Sunoo was speechless after that, and Sunghoon had a little too much fun watching the boy get shy.

At some point, Sunoo seemed like he was actually going to kiss him — or maybe that had been just Sunghoon’s wishful thinking. The boy had been staring at his lips with a gaze so intense, Sunghoon himself would have closed the distance between them if only Sunoo hadn’t let go of his phone and reminded him of the original reason they had gotten to that point. Once he’d let go of Sunoo, his heart was beating so fast, it took all his strength to act as if nothing had happened.

However, the way Sunoo had stared at him in that moment continued to haunt him for the rest of the night, and even so right then, as they stood in Jay’s living room.

Sunoo glanced at him and he realized he had spent probably more than a few seconds staring at him.

He heard the beat of heart pulse in his chest, but it seemed to stop completely when the boy smiled. That blindingly beautiful smile. The one where his eyes turn into crescent moons and his cheeks blush slightly, making him seem like the sun itself, dazzling whoever looks at him.

Sunghoon felt himself sigh softly and smile back. Sunoo soon averted his gaze back to the storytellers, but the older let himself admire the boy for another second before doing the same.

The next two weeks since Jay’s birthday went normally. Sunoo noticed Sunghoon had been clinging and touching him more than usual, but he decided not to say anything, as he was enjoying the attention.

In fact, Sunoo had caught himself doing the same and trying to be close to him every time he could. He wasn’t sure what he felt for Sunghoon yet, but the thought of their relationship seemed to get more and more blurred every day.

Sometimes Sunoo would feel scared that the older might really see him as more than a friend and that he might just be leading him on for a heartbreak, but he couldn’t help wishing to be closer to the boy, and he had yet to figure out what he felt. Whether it was getting away from Sunghoon or talking to him about his feelings, he was too afraid to make a rushed decision that could ruin their friendship for mere lack of patience.

It was a Friday afternoon and the group had agreed to meet in the study space to spend some quality time together as they worked on their individual projects.

Sunoo was heading toward the college’s office when he came across Jay, Sunghoon and Jungwon.

“Hey, where are you going? Aren’t we gonna meet the guys at the study now?” Jay asked.

“Uh, yeah. I just have to check something first. You guys go ahead, I’ll meet you there.”

“I’ll go with you,” Sunghoon promptly offered.

“You don’t have to, hyung.”

“It’s fine.”

“Is it about that project?” Jungwon came in.

“Uh, yeah, that one,” Sunoo confirmed.

“I need to check some stuff too. I’ll go with you,” Jungwon said and turned to the other boys. “Why don’t you two go grab us coffee in the meantime? We’ll meet you guys at the study,” he said as he extended his arm, handing his backpack to Jay, who immediately took it and threw it around his shoulder. Then, he locked arms with Sunoo and walked away, barely giving them any time to contest.

Later, they arrived at the study space, finding all the other five boys busy with their own laptops and textbooks. They occupied a round 7-seater table, the perfect fit for them.

Two cups of coffee awaited on the table in front of the two seats Jay and Sunghoon had saved in between themselves.

Sunoo had asked Sunghoon to help him on the content they had in common again. He loved to spend time with his friends like this, specially being able to be so close to the older and having an excuse to let their knees touch and their hands brush now and then.

They talked and studied together for a while, and everything was going fine, until someone showed up behind them.

Sunoo looked back and immediately recognized the figure — it was one of Sunghoon’s classmates, Taejun. The younger internally rolled his eyes. He didn’t have anything against most of Sunghoon’s classmates, but this one was particularly insufferable. He always acted as if Sunoo was invisible, ignoring him on purpose every time he was around, and noticeably tried to hit on Sunghoon multiple times. The older never seemed to notice and constantly frustrated his attempts, which was a little fun to watch, but Sunoo couldn’t stand how the guy simply never seemed to give up. He hated to admit it, but Taejun was quite good looking — it certainly didn’t make up for his terrible personality, though.

“Hey, Sunghoon,” he called, interrupting their study session.

“Oh, hey,” Sunghoon replied.

“So, do you remember that group assignment we have?”

“Yeah, I already sent you my part.”

“I know. You did an amazing job, by the way. It’s just that I was working with our group on it just now,” he pointed toward a table a few meter away, “and we were wondering if you could help us a little.”

Sunghoon took a quick glance at Sunoo and looked back at Taejun. “Uh, I wouldn’t mind, but I had already promised to help Sunoo today.”

“It’s gonna be quick, I swear.”

Sunghoon thought for a second. “Alright, what do you guys need?”

“Can you come with me?”

“Okay.” He got up and looked back at Sunoo. “I’ll be right back,” he told him before leaving for the table with his group mates.

Sunoo closely watched as Sunghoon approached their table. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind Sunghoon helping his classmates, if only Taejun wasn’t one of them. The guy sat down and explained what they were doing as Sunghoon stood right next to him. The whole group seemed to be contributing and they all appeared to be genuinely interested on the project, but Sunoo knew there was one person on that table that didn’t care about the assignment as much as the others.

Sunghoon leaned over the table pointing and saying things Sunoo couldn’t understand from a distance. He noticed Taejun lean closer and brush their hands for a moment. Sunoo’s eye slightly twitched.

The guy continued to touch Sunghoon, obviously trying to flirt, but the older seemed to be completely oblivious to it.

Sunoo huffed. “That guy is shamelessly hitting on him. Are you guys seeing it?” he asked the group, stupefied.

They raised their heads and subtly looked at the source of his stress.

“I don’t know, they seem to be just talking to me,” Heeseung commented.

“How can you not see it? He’s totally throwing himself on him!” Sunoo whisper-screamed, barely taking his eyes from the scene.

Sunoo saw some of his friends exchange looks, but he was too busy watching another guy flirt with his best friend to dwell on it.

The younger felt a relief when Sunghoon stood straight again and started to leave the table. However, as soon as he turned around, Taejun grabbed his wrist and pulled him slightly, pointing out something else on his notebook. The audacity.

He seemed to have convinced Sunghoon to stay, because the latter took a seat by his side and continued to talk to him. Sunoo was nearly fuming now.

Two could play that game.

Sunoo hastily got up and walked toward their table with his notebook in hand, missing the shocked and confused expressions on his friends’ faces.

“Hyung, I still need your help,” he said with the sweetest voice he could muster, putting his notebook on the table almost in front of Sunghoon and leaning over it.

Some of the people on the table who already knew Sunoo greeted him, and he happily greeted them back.

“We’re almost done here,” Sunghoon told him.

“Alright, I’ll wait,” Sunoo decided, moving to stand behind his chair and putting his hands on his shoulders.

Sunghoon went quiet for a moment and Taejun gave Sunoo a quick glance.

You can’t ignore me now, can you?, Sunoo thought, looking back at him with an almost imperceptible smile.

Taejun quickly went back to ignoring him and continued to talk about their assignment as Sunoo closely watched his moves.

As soon as the guy let his hand brush against Sunghoon’s on what seemed like an accident, Sunoo accidentally let his hands slide to Sunghoon’s neck, softly tracing shapeless lines on his skin.

Sunoo thought maybe the guy would stop then, but he only seemed to get bolder. Sunghoon made a joke and Taejun laughed, shamelessly touching his arm and letting it linger. So Sunoo moved his hands to Sunghoon’s hair, shamelessly running his fingers through his locks, the same way he did when they were alone.

The younger was too focused on annoying Taejun to realize how much he was affecting Sunghoon, but Taejun seemed to have noticed it, as after minutes of ignoring Sunoo, he finally turned to him.

“Um, could you stop that, please? It’s a little distracting,” Taejun used polite words, but his attitude didn’t show respect at all.

“Really?” Sunoo forced a surprised expression. He let his hands fall back on Sunghoon’s shoulders and slithered them down his chest a little, leaning forward. “Hyung, am I distracting you?” he asked innocently, looking at him with doe eyes.

Sunghoon stared up at him, seemingly startled to be included in their conversation.

“What? No, not at all,” he replied nervously.

“See? He said I’m not distracting,” Sunoo told Taejun and saw the boy roll his eyes not so subtly. “But I understand that it could be distracting for you. Is it okay if sit with you guys?” he asked the rest of the group, who was too busy talking between themselves to pay attention to them.

When they complied, Sunoo took the other seat beside Sunghoon, bringing his chair closer until there was no space between their legs.

Taejun had gone back to talking to Sunghoon, clearly trying to take his attention away from Sunoo, but the younger wasn’t done yet. Sunghoon was naive, but he was there for Sunoo, and he had to remind him of that.

Sunoo pretended to read his notebook while his other hand dropped under the table on Sunghoon’s leg. He put a little pressure on it, spreading his fingertips around his thigh, and felt Sunghoon tense under his touch. The younger slowly ran his hand up and down, taking his time caressing and squeezing it. He let the tip of his fingers swirl around, sliding his knuckles and grazing his nails over the fabric of his jeans.

He heard the older stutter on whatever he was saying and felt a hand fall over his, softly squeezing it as if asking him to stop.

So Sunoo did stop. He only moved his hand enough to turn it around and intertwine their fingers together. Sunghoon immediately responded, closing his fingers around his hand.

His grip was gentle but tight, almost as if he was scared to let Sunoo’s hand free again. The younger couldn’t help but smile to himself.

Taejun wouldn’t stop talking and Sunghoon was too polite to interrupt him, so Sunoo gave up on his notebook and brought his free hand to Sunghoon’s arm. He snaked his fingers under the sleeve of his shirt and rested his chin on his shoulder.

“Hyung, you said you were almost done,” Sunoo whined, completely aware that he was interrupting Taejun.

“Uh, I know, I just…” Sunghoon started, a little disoriented.

Before he could find an excuse, Sunoo leaned in closer. “Let’s go somewhere we can study alone,” he said in a low voice, letting his lips brush against Sunghoon’s ear and squeezing his arm not so gently.

Sunghoon swallowed and tightened his grip on Sunoo’s hand for a second.

The younger backed away a little and raised his eyebrows with a soft look. Sunghoon stared back at him stunned, eyes a little widened, as if he was still processing what Sunoo had said.

“Okay,” Sunghoon breathed out. He turned back to the guy sitting by his other side. “Sorry, Taejun. I actually have to go now,” he said, sounding slightly dazed.

Sunghoon got up and Sunoo followed suit and picked up his notebook, never dropping his hand.

“You guys have my number, so let me know if I can help with anything else,” the older told the group.

“Uh, okay,” Taejun replied, clearly not expecting Sunghoon to cut him off like that.

The guy glared at Sunoo and the younger couldn’t help the mischievous smile that crept on his lips. He softly raised one eyebrow before turning around and pulling Sunghoon behind him.

When they arrived back at their table, Jungwon was staring at Sunoo with a proud smile that seemed to say he wouldn’t have done anything differently.

“Sorry, guys. We’re gonna have to leave earlier today,” Sunoo apologized. “I just remembered I left some of my textbooks at home.”

“Oh, don’t worry, we spent a lot of time together already,” Jungwon said.

“Yeah, we’ll see you guys tomorrow anyway,” Jake added.

They had planned a sleepover at Jay’s place on the next day, since it was the only apartment big enough to fit all of them, and because they realized that despite being so close, they had never done such a thing with the full group.

“See you, guys,” Sunoo waved at them after he and Sunghoon were done picking their things from the table.

He slid his hand down Sunghoon’s arm to intertwine their fingers again, not wasting the opportunity to glance at the table a few meters away, and smiling to himself when he saw one person staring back at him. He had never had this much attention from the guy in a single day, maybe he should’ve done this sooner.

“Have fun…” Jungwon said in a low voice as they walked away from the table, and Sunoo didn’t have to look to know he was smiling.

“Taejun has your number?” was the first thing Sunoo asked as soon as they stepped into his place. The question had been hammering in his head the whole time since they left the study.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon answered, taking off his shoes and putting on slippers.

“What do you two talk about?” Sunoo questioned, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Mostly assignments and college stuff.”

“What else?” he asked as they walked into the living room.

Sunghoon looked up thinking. “Almost nothing, I think. He just asked me to go out once or twice before.”

“He asked you out?” Sunoo frowned and stopped on his tracks.

“Uh… yeah. He was going out with his friends and asked if I’d like to tag along.”

“What did you say?”

“I wasn’t available at the time, so I refused.”

“So you would have gone if you weren’t busy?” Sunoo pressed, trying not to sound mad.

“Um…” Sunghoon hesitated, seeming almost scared to answer. “Maybe?”

Sunoo huffed. They stood in the middle of the living room facing each other then.

“Why?” Sunghoon blinked confusedly.

“He’s clearly hitting on you.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Come on, he’s so obvious!”

“Well, then… Do you think I should go out with him?” The older asked, seeming genuinely perplexed at what Sunoo was trying to say.

“What? Of course not!” Sunoo exclaimed a little more harshly than he’d intended.

“Why not?”

“He’s unbearable!”

“I mean, he is a little annoying sometimes, but he’s not that bad,” Sunghoon argued.

“To you. Because he likes you. Have you never noticed how badly he treats me when I’m around?”

“No,” he thought for a moment. “Usually we only talk when you’re not around, since you’re not in our class, so I guess I never noticed,” he concluded, pensively.

“Well, he does, and he clearly hates me. Now, would you want to date someone who hates your best friend?” Sunoo crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows.

Sunghoon stared at him for a moment and chuckled.

“What’s funny?” the younger asked.

“Sunoo, almost all your ex boyfriends hated me,” he calmly stated.

“What? No, they didn’t.”

“Yes, they did. Most of them stared at me like they wanted to obliterate me, especially when you weren’t around.”

“I…” Sunoo was stunned. “I never noticed…”

“Yeah, cause they tried to behave around you. I remember one of them even asked me to stay away from you, cause apparently I was making him uncomfortable or something, but when I refused, he kept finding excuses to stop you from going out with me and the guys. He would have continued to do that if you hadn’t broken up a little after that.”

“Oh…” his expression had changed from annoyance to a mixture of surprise and guilt. “I knew they were a little jealous of you, but I didn’t think they made you feel this way,” he explained, voice much softer than before. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, you didn’t know.”

“You should have told me,” Sunoo had uncrossed his arms and spoke in an apologetic tone.

“What was the point? I wasn’t a part of the relationship. As long as you liked each other, that was enough, right?” Sunghoon said, but he didn’t seem so certain of his own words.

“But you’re my best friend. I wouldn’t have wanted to be with someone who didn’t like you.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t like them either,” Sunghoon gave a weak laugh and waved his hand dismissively, but the younger didn’t smile, he only stared at him with a gentle gaze.

“Why did you never tell me?” he asked softly.

The older hesitated and bit his lip for a moment. “I… didn’t want you to feel like you had to choose between one of us.”

Sunoo gave a low chuckle. “But I had already done that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sunghoon, I wouldn’t be with anyone who didn’t like you. I might have really liked some of those guys, but I could never choose any of them over you. My choice was always you.”

Sunghoon was stunned. He only stared at him, not seeming like he would say anything anytime soon, and Sunoo wasn’t sure what else to say either; he was starting to feel shy under his gaze.

“Don’t just stare at me,” the younger added awkwardly.

“Well, what do you want me to say? You just told me you like me better than all your exes. I’m not allowed to get a little emotional?” Sunghoon said defensively.

“I thought that was obvious!”

“It wasn’t! How was I supposed to know? You never cried for me like you cried for some of them,” he argued.

“Because I never had to break up with you!” Sunoo exclaimed and slowly looked away. “And that’s not true…” he added in a lower voice.

The older frowned. “What’s not true?”

“That I never cried for you,” he muttered, but it was loud enough for Sunghoon to hear every word.

Sunghoon seemed to be struck. “Did I…” He swallowed, eyes full of worry. “When did I make you cry?”

“It was because of you, but it wasn’t your fault,” Sunoo explained and Sunghoon attentively stared at him, waiting to hear more. “Remember a year ago, when you went with your parents to Spain?” Sunghoon nodded softly. “Well, you had been there for two weeks, but then you said you might suspend college and extend your stay for another six months without coming back to Korea first. You had been away for only two weeks, but along the third week, I though it was the first one of six months and… I missed you. In the end, your plans didn’t work out and you came back by the end of that same week, but it hurt to think I wouldn’t see you for such a long time when I hadn’t even been able to say goodbye before you left.”

By the time Sunoo had finished speaking, he almost felt like crying again, as if all those feelings had come back in an instant.

Sunghoon stared at him completely stupefied.

“Sunoo… I’m so sorry,” he said, a glint of pain in his eyes.

“Why are you sorry?” Sunoo laughed softly. “That I like you enough to cry for you? That wasn’t your fault, I just missed you,” the air between them had become so heavy, he smiled in an attempt to clear it a bit.

“If I had known, I would’ve at least found a way to see you before I left.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re here now, aren’t you?”

Suddenly, Sunghoon stepped forward and embraced him in a tight hug, like he’d been holding back for a while. Sunoo was surprised for a moment, but slowly wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Hyung, it’s okay,” Sunoo softly rubbed his back.

“It’s not. I don’t ever wanna make you cry again,” Sunghoon said with his face buried in the crook of his neck.

Sunoo already knew Sunghoon would never do anything to hurt him, but to hear him say it like that as he hugged him so tight and so close — as if he hated the idea of letting him go —, the butterflies in his stomach felt as restless as ever.

The younger held him in silence, accepting the implicit promise in his words, but keeping his last thoughts to himself.

You know… I don’t mind crying for you.

Chapter Text

Sunoo had packed his stuff and slept over at Sunghoon’s place that day. They had agreed it was the best option so they could go to Jay’s place together on the next, but really Sunoo just needed an excuse to sleep over at his apartment again.

They got their things ready and left soon after lunch. When they arrived, there was already a king size mattress laying on the floor, right in between the 3-seater pull out sofa and the TV, with Riki sitting there playing games. Meanwhile, Jay and Jungwon lay on the couch behind him, cuddling and living in their own world. Although the couch had 3 seats, they were large enough that two people cuddling with their heads on the back pillow occupied only one space.

Heeseung and Jake got there soon after that as Sunghoon and Sunoo prepared drinks in the kitchen.

They spent most of the afternoon talking and playing random games, eventually settling down to watch a movie. Sunghoon lay on the couch with an arm around Sunoo, with Jay and Jungwon beside them, while Heeseung, Jake and Riki took the mattress.

Despite them not being alone, Sunoo felt incredibly comfortable laying with his head on Sunghoon’s shoulder and being so close to him; everyone was already used to them being clingy with each other, anyway.

A notification rang on Sunghoon’s phone. He picked it up and sighed at whatever he saw, although Sunoo couldn’t see what it was from his angle. The older softly removed his arm from around him and typed something on the screen.

Sunoo noticed he seemed to be getting more and more stressed at the conversation he was having, as he had started typing faster and more aggressively with a frown on his face.

“Is everything okay?” Sunoo whispered.

“Uh, yeah… It’s nothing,” Sunghoon replied. He slowly got up so he wouldn’t disturb the rest of them. “I’ll be right back,” he said before leaving to Jay’s bedroom and closing the door behind him.

Sunoo wasn’t paying attention to the movie — he was too busy hearing Sunghoon speaking on the phone from a distance. Although he couldn’t exactly hear what he was saying, it seemed to be a serious conversation.

After what felt like at least 15 minutes, Sunghoon came back to the living room. The other boys had noticed his absence by then.

“Hey, man, are you okay?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, my parents are just being annoying. But it’s no big deal, I don’t wanna talk about it.” He explained as he sat beside Sunoo again, and all of them respected his choice, turning back to watch the movie in a second.

Sunoo wiggled himself closer, resting his head back on Sunghoon’s shoulder and closing an arm around his waist as he felt the older hold him again.

“You sure you’re okay?” Sunoo whispered by his ear.

“Yeah, don’t worry,” he whispered back looking down at him with a soft smile.

“Alright,” Sunoo turned back to watch the movie, but his mind was more focused on the way Sunghoon gently rubbed his waist over his shirt.

Later that night, after they’d had dinner, all of them had already had a couple drinks and their filter for conversations had noticeably been fading away. They were all spread around the living room, some on the couch, some on the mattress, forming a sort of circle. Sunoo wasn’t sure how they had gotten to the topic, but they were now discussing who was the best kisser of the group.

“Not to brag, but Jake is definitely the best kisser I’ve ever met,” Heeseung said.

“I disagree, I think it’s Heeseung,” Jake contested.

“That doesn’t count, though. You’re supposed to vote for who you think looks like the best kisser,” Riki explained. “Or else, everyone who dates is just gonna go for their boyfriends.”

“That’s right. I vote for Jungwon,” Jay proudly stated.

“I vote for me too,” Jungwon added and the older frowned at him, seemingly offended.

“You’re not gonna vote for me?”

“You’re the second best. You like to kiss me so much, you actually convinced me I must be a great kisser. Besides, if I win the title, you can say you’re the only one who gets to kiss the best kisser of the group,” he argued.

“Okay, you’re right.”

“Since y’all don’t know how to play, I’m gonna vote for myself as well,” Riki announced. “The amount of people I’ve kissed who tried to get another taste speaks for itself,” He smirked.

“Sunoo, who are you gonna vote for?” Jake asked.

Sunoo was startled with the sudden question. He’d been listening attentively, but seemed to forget he was a part of the conversation. His mind had an instant answer for that question, but he couldn’t just say it out loud. Although Jungwon and Riki already knew he had kissed Sunghoon before, the rest of them didn’t, and it felt embarrassing to just admit something like that.

He could choose Sunghoon and not mention the fact that they had kissed, after all, it’s not weird to vote for your best friend just so they could win a silly game, right? But how could Sunghoon take it as a joke when he was well aware that Sunoo really did know how he kissed?

They all stared at him, expectant for his answer.

“I vote for…” He looked around the room, avoiding one person in particular and seeing a few of them stare at him with a subtle smile on their lips, almost as if they knew his choice. Sunoo started to panic, his mind was barely working anymore. He would have to say something and soon.

“Jungwon.”

Once he said it, everyone seemed to be confused for a moment, even Jungwon himself.

“Jungwon?” Jay asked with a frown.

“Yeah, he was already a good kisser back in high school,” Sunoo tried to reason.

“You have kissed him?”

“It was a truth or dare game and before I met you, don’t get jealous,” Jungwon said.

“I know, I don’t mind, but Sunoo could’ve at least voted for me, I have no votes. You have two,” he complained.

“Three now,” the younger corrected with a sly smile.

“I guess that settles it. Jungwon is the best kisser of the group,” Riki announced.

Sunoo felt a weird relief to think the game was over, but it didn’t last too long.

“Wait, Sunghoon hasn’t voted yet,” Heeseung pointed out.

“Yeah, but, mathematically, Jungwon already won,” Jake said.

“I know, but Sunghoon could change the second place.”

“He won’t, we already know who he’s gonna vote for,” Riki scoffed and some of the boys gave him a look.

Sunoo felt his heart stop. He knew what Riki thought about the subject, and everyone in the room seemed to be communicating some underlying knowledge they weren’t willing to speak out loud.

The silence that followed was almost starting to get awkward when Sunghoon came in.

“Riki’s right, my vote isn’t gonna change the results,” he said.

For some reason, Sunoo couldn’t help being anxious about his answer. He wouldn’t choose him, right? He couldn’t, specially since Sunoo had chosen someone else.

Sunoo wasn’t vain to the point of actually thinking he was the best kisser in the room, but when it came to Sunghoon’s opinion, he suddenly cared about the topic. Deep down, he wanted to hear the older boy choose him, but not just because he was his best friend — he wanted Sunghoon to mean it. At the same time, he was afraid of how awkward things could get if he announced such a thing in front of everyone, even if as a joke.

“Well, who is it, then?” Jungwon pressed.

“I thought it was obvious,” he raised one eyebrow. “It’s me,” he stated matter-of-factly and they all huffed.

“Of course it is,” the younger rolled his eyes.

“You really think someone with this face would not be a good kisser?” Sunghoon continued, and Sunoo couldn’t help laughing.

This was just a silly game among friends, it didn’t mean anything, and Sunghoon had definitely given the best reply so things wouldn’t get awkward, but there was a little part of Sunoo that wished to hear a different answer.

Finally, the conversation was over, and the younger could rest again. They went over other weird topics and drank just a little more until they were too tired to go on. At around 3 am, they had all brushed their teeth and gotten ready to go to bed.

They decided that Heeseung, Jake and Riki would sleep on the mattress, Sunghoon and Sunoo would sleep on the couch, and Jay and Jungwon would take Jay’s bed in his bedroom, so everyone had space enough to be comfortable.

Once everyone had lain down, Sunoo and Sunghoon continued to talk for another while. Sunoo was a little sleepy, but the day had been so fun, he wasn’t willing to let it end just yet.

They lay on the couch across the 3 seats, with Sunoo having his back to the backrest. They faced each other, whispering so they wouldn’t disrupt the peaceful sleep of the three boys on the mattress beneath them. None of them seemed to be bothered by their conversation, as they had started to snore softly and drool shortly after they’d lain down.

“Hyung, my legs are a little cold,” Sunoo whispered.

“I told you to bring sweatpants instead of shorts,” Sunghoon retorted.

“I know. Can you not rub that in my face?” he whined.

“I can’t waste the opportunity,” Sunghoon chuckled. “I’m gonna get a blanket.” He started to get up, but Sunoo quickly pulled him back.

“It’s okay, I’m not that cold. As long as you get closer, I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, okay.”

They got closer and Sunoo fit his leg between Sunghoon’s, feeling his whole body warm up with the contact. The older held his waist, maybe too close to his hips, and all their proximity felt a little overwhelming to Sunoo, but it felt so good.

“Better?” Sunghoon asked and the younger nodded softly.

There was a bit of light escaping from the curtains and they’d been in the dark for long enough that their eyes had gotten used to it, so Sunoo could still trace all the lines on Sunghoon’s face.

Although Sunoo wanted to keep talking, he was too comfortable to think of what to say right then. Thankfully, the older filled the silence for him.

“Sunoo, do you…” he started, but stopped himself before he could finish as if he had suddenly realized something.

“What is it?”

“Never mind, it’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

“I thought our friendship was past the point you were embarrassed of saying stupid stuff since you do it all the time,” Sunoo joked in an attempt to make him more comfortable.

The older just stared at him, as if deep in thought on whether he should say it or not.

“Okay, then. Do you think I’m… a good kisser?” Sunghoon asked hesitantly.

“I…” Sunoo was speechless for a moment. That wasn’t a stupid question at all. He had an answer for that — one that made his heart beat faster —, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. “I think… I don’t know. I don’t remember well,” he lied.

“Oh, okay…” The older sounded a little disappointed but satisfied enough with the answer.

The last thing Sunoo wanted then was to be in silence, so he let himself speak the first thing that came to his mind before he could think straight.

“Can I kiss you again?”

He felt his heart stop at his own words. It was too late to go back.

“Hm?” Sunghoon widened his eyes a bit, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard him right.

“To help me remember,” Sunoo quickly explained and noticed Sunghoon swallow. “Is that okay?”

It sounded like a crazy excuse, the older would certainly notice it. But as much as Sunoo wanted to regret asking him such a thing, he couldn’t bring himself to do it — not when Sunghoon stared at him like that.

“Yeah,” he breathed out.

The boys below them were fast asleep and couldn’t even see them from their angle, but Sunoo still felt the urge to pull the sheet over their heads. He knew they weren’t alone, but right there, under the thin layer of fabric, it was as though there was no one else but them in the entire world.

He moved a little closer — close enough that he could feel Sunghoon’s breath on his face. He already knew what his lips tasted like on nights like this, but he was dying to be reminded.

Sunoo brought a hand to his cheek and let it slide to his nape. He gently pulled the older and was met with no resistance — Sunghoon seemed to float toward him.

He leaned in, feeling like his heart could blow out of his chest anytime, and finally landed a soft kiss on his lips. He moved a little, kissing him again and again, but Sunghoon remained still, as if he were too scared to move. Contrary to what he had told him, Sunoo remembered very well how good a kisser Sunghoon was, so maybe he needed a bit of reassurance.

“Relax,” Sunoo whispered against his lips. “It’s just me.”

“Okay,” he breathed out so low, Sunoo almost didn’t hear him.

The younger pecked him softly. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

“Okay,” he whispered again, sounding slightly out of breath.

Sunoo licked his own lips and continued to kiss him with slow lingering pecks. Gradually, Sunghoon started to respond and move along his rhythm. The hand on Sunoo’s waist began to rub circles over his shirt, stirring the fire that grew in his stomach.

Sunoo wanted to go slow so he wouldn’t overwhelm the boy who already seemed dazed under his touch, but something inside him was begging for more. He caressed Sunghoon’s hair while his other hand moved to his chin, softly pulling it down. The older immediately let his lips part and Sunoo didn’t waste a second before invading his mouth.

He controlled the pace, slowly running his tongue against Sunghoon’s. He tried to hold back, but the feeling was so good, he wanted to get lost in it — so he did. He nibbled and bit his lip, pulling it gently, and then let his tongue drag inside and out of his mouth as his hands tried to bring him closer. Sunghoon only moved along and let him do as he wished, never trying to stop him, but seeming too overwhelmed to do anything else.

Sunoo thought maybe he should slow down again, but the more he had, the more he wanted. He gripped on Sunghoon’s hair, pulling it a little, and felt the older groan and squeeze his waist not so gently. Sunoo involuntarily whimpered at the feeling, but the noise was suppressed by their kiss. In that moment, something inside Sunghoon seemed to change.

The older shifted his head a bit and pushed his tongue so deep, Sunoo had to fight back a moan. The new angle made it easier to move and Sunghoon took advantage of it, licking and filling his mouth like he was underwater and Sunoo was all the oxygen he needed. The feeling was overwhelming but so good, Sunoo felt his legs get weak.

Sunghoon pulled back, but only long enough to nip on his lower lip, gently pulling it between his teeth and licking it slowly before entering his mouth again. He dragged his tongue against Sunoo’s and let it linger for a moment, and the heat the younger had been feeling seemed to spread through his entire body.

Sunoo was getting everything he had wished for. With every touch of their lips, he wanted to let him take control, but he still wanted more.

He let his hand slide to Sunghoon’s chest and slowly pushed the older until he was lying on his back with Sunoo hovering over him, never breaking the kiss.

Somewhere along that move, Sunoo’s shirt had lifted a bit, so when Sunghoon brought another hand to his waist, he was met with his bare skin. His fingertips seemed to burn where they touched; Sunoo wanted to feel them all over his body. 

The older froze that hand, keeping it tightly gripped, and slid his other hand — the one over his shirt — to his back, pulling him closer.

They would have to stop soon because Sunoo was having trouble breathing and holding back his noises, but he didn’t want to let go yet. He didn’t know when or if he would be able to kiss Sunghoon again; he had to take everything he could.

Their bodies were pressed together and Sunoo had one of his legs between Sunghoon’s. The younger struggled a little to support himself with an elbow beside his head and a hand on his chest, but he was willing to take it if it meant not letting go of his lips.

Sunghoon let the hand on his back slide and slowly drag up his arm until it reached his face. His fingers were on his nape and his thumb held his cheek so gently, Sunoo melted into the touch.

Sunoo slid his hand up to his collarbone, letting his fingertips trace his Adam’s apple and spread around his neck. Sunghoon whimpered softly inside his mouth at the same time he squeezed his waist and raised his leg a bit, pressing a sensitive spot between his thighs.

Sunoo gasped, letting go of the kiss for the first time that night. He knew it had been a simple reflex, but the touch seemed to awaken something inside him; a heat too dangerous to be ignored. As much as Sunoo wanted to close the distance between them again, he knew it was too risky to go on. He would have to suffice for what they had already done.

They breathed heavily against each other’s mouths, but neither dared make another move for a while.

“You’re a good kisser, hyung,” he finally whispered against his mouth, feeling his lips tingle where they brushed Sunghoon’s.

Sunoo pushed himself on his chest and slowly backed away, lying on his back beside him and feeling the heat of Sunghoon’s hands disappear from his body. He instantly missed it, but it didn’t feel right to ask for his touch again so soon.

He pushed the sheet away and felt the fresh air fill back his lungs, but there was nothing he wanted more than to still be suffocating in Sunghoon’s breath.

Sunoo turned to the other side. He couldn’t face the older now, both for the embarrassment for what they had done and for the fear of not resisting the urge to kiss him again.

“Good night, hyung,” he whispered.

“Good night,” Sunghoon said, but didn’t move.

He remained still for a while, the same way Sunoo had left him, and when he finally moved, it was to subtly leave the bed and walk away; most likely to the bathroom, the younger assumed.

Sunoo wanted to fall asleep as soon as possible, preferably before he came back, but his mind wouldn’t let him. The thought of his mouth was still too vivid for him to rest.

He had done it. He had kissed Sunghoon again. It had been everything he remembered and more — so much more. It had lasted longer too and he wasn’t drunk this time, so the new memory seemed to be much clearer than the previous one, but, instead of finally satisfying him, it only made him miss it more.

He caught himself biting his lip and quickly let go, trying to escape the thoughts but having no success.

Sunoo wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but Sunghoon was back, once again quietly lying down beside him. He couldn’t tell which side the older was facing until he felt a hand on the small part of skin on his waist exposed by his wrinkled shirt. The touch was gentle, but it seemed to light a spark where it landed.

Maybe he assumed Sunoo was already asleep. 

The younger thought (and wished) Sunghoon would completely slip his hand under his shirt and touch him more, or at least keep it there holding him tightly, as he had done before. But instead, much to his surprise and dismay, the older let go and softly pulled the hem of his shirt down, covering his skin again, before wrapping his arm around him.

He couldn’t help feeling slightly disappointed at the lack of contact, but felt his chest grow warm at the action. 

Sunoo brought a hand over Sunghoon’s and interlaced their fingers, pulling his arm to bring him closer, but the older barely moved. 

Most of the times they slept together, they would get close and cuddle, but this time Sunghoon was noticeably keeping a distance from him, with the exception of his arm around his waist.

Sunoo was afraid of never kissing him again, but there was nothing he feared more than losing what they had. He couldn’t let things get awkward — he couldn’t let himself ruin their friendship for a kiss.

He had allowed himself to do so much already, he even almost got lost on the way. It should’ve been enough, at least for a day. But even then, after everything they had done that night, he still wanted Sunghoon close.

“Hyung…” Sunoo called softly.

“Yeah?”

“I’m still cold,” he lied again. His body hadn’t been cold for a long time then, ever since their lips had touched.

Sunghoon was in silence for a moment and the younger dwelt on a thousand reasons why he wouldn’t answer him, but he was too scared to ask.

The older moved a little and carefully slid an arm under his neck. He closed it around Sunoo, holding his shoulder, and pulled him closer until they were chest to back. 

“Better?” Sunghoon whispered by his ear.

“Yeah,” Sunoo breathed out, involuntarily squeezing his hand.

Sunghoon rested his head back on the pillow, but Sunoo could still feel his breath on his neck; it gave him chills to think his lips were so close to his skin.

“Listen to me and bring your sweatpants next time,” the older said softly and Sunoo responded with a low noise.

With his strong arms and the heat that radiated from his body around him, Sunoo wished he could stay there forever. Maybe he wouldn’t mind letting go if he was sure that Sunghoon would embrace him like this night after night again, but there is only so much you can ask from your best friend.

His heartbeat felt loud on his ear and there were too many feelings he couldn’t control rushing through him right then, but it all felt so good.

It had been a long time since he had felt that. Although he had liked his last boyfriend, he couldn’t think of a single time the guy had him feeling that way. In fact, he couldn’t think of anyone who had him feeling that way before at all.

Sunoo had had many boyfriends. Maybe he had felt something like this for one or more of them, but he genuinely couldn’t remember then — their memory seemed too distant in that moment and his mind was filled with one person alone.

Deep down, he knew what it was, although he could barely bring himself to think about it. It was difficult to accept he was feeling that over Sunghoon of all people. You’re not supposed to feel some things for your best friend, it’s a well-known fact — a well-known risk. Once it happens, one slide and your whole friendship is gone.

Sunghoon meant too much to him. Was it really worth risking it all?

He tried to ignore those thoughts and focus on the feeling of being in Sunghoon’s arms; soon, it would be over and he would be sleeping on an empty bed again.

Sunoo let himself drown in his warmth and drift off to the thought of his soft lips, hoping he would meet them again in his dreams.

Chapter Text

As soon as Sunoo woke up, the memories of the night before started flowing through his mind. Thinking back, he couldn’t understand how he had been brave enough to say and do the things he’d done and he wasn’t sure yet how much he would regret it.

There were noises coming from the kitchen and he could only see two figures lying on the mattress below them, which meant Jay, Jungwon and Riki were probably already up.

He looked up at Sunghoon. They had shifted their positions from the night before — Sunghoon was now lying on his back with an arm stretched out under Sunoo’s neck while the latter lay facing him with his head on his shoulder and one arm and one leg over the older. It was quite similar to the way they had been when they kissed the night before, a thought that made Sunoo’s heart beat faster.

He wasn’t feeling as brave then. Should he wake up Sunghoon or leave the couch before he noticed? Would it be awkward? What if he couldn’t face the boy again for the rest of the day? No, he couldn’t let it happen. He promised himself he wouldn’t let things get weird between them. They had kissed before and Sunoo had quickly fixed it, another kiss shouldn’t change much.

“Hyung,” he called softly, “wake up.”

Sunghoon groaned and moved a little. “5 more minutes,” he mumbled.

Sunoo pushed himself up. “But we need to have breakf—”

“Shhh, just sleep.” Sunghoon interrupted, turning to him and caging him with his arms and one leg around him.

Sunoo found it hard to contest then. It felt too good to have Sunghoon insist for him to stay while holding him like that and he felt a wave of relief noticing the older was still acting normally. Did he not remember the kiss? Maybe he just didn’t care about it as much as Sunoo thought. There were too many unanswered questions in his mind, but he didn’t dwell on them, as the most important thing was that nothing seemed to have changed.

Sunoo didn’t fall asleep again; he only let himself rest against Sunghoon’s chest, breathing in the scent of his shirt.

After a few minutes, he heard Heeseung and Jake mumbling and noticed them get up. He opened his eyes and saw the two smile at him before leaving for the kitchen. He could feel the smell of curry in the air.

A part of Sunoo wanted to stay there longer, but he was hungry and starting to feel overwhelmed with Sunghoon’s body heat.

“Hyung, let’s get up,” he mumbled again.

“Hm,” Sunghoon replied.

“Let’s have breakfast, Jay must be doing the curry from last night.”

“Okay,” he muttered.

Sunoo waited a few seconds, but Sunghoon didn’t seem like he intended to move anytime soon.

“Come on.” Sunoo lightly tapped his back. “Even Heeseung got up already.”

“I know.” Sunghoon sounded more awake then, but he still seemed unusually resistant to get up.

“Hyung, I’m hungry,” Sunoo whined.

That must have been a strong argument, because right then he heard Sunghoon sigh and loosen his hold around him. Sunoo looked up at him and found him staring back with a soft smile.

“Fine. Let’s go before you accuse me of making you starve,” the older said.

They went to the kitchen and, much for Sunoo’s happiness, finally had breakfast. He couldn’t help looking into Sunghoon’s behaviors to see if he was still feeling weird about the night before, but the older was acting just fine, although he did seem to not be talking to Sunoo as much as usual.

The group continued to talk and laugh and Sunoo let himself get distracted by the conversation, but in the back of his head remained a restless feeling, almost like he wasn’t completely sure of what to do or how to act now.

In the afternoon, the group decided to go out to the cinema. They went to the mall two hours earlier than the time set for the beginning of the movie and walked around looking for other things to do in the meantime.

“Okay, what do you guys want to do?” Jay asked.

“Let’s just walk around for now until we find something,” Sunghoon said.

“We’ve been walking for 10 minutes.”

“That’s because we haven’t reached the interesting parts of the mall yet,” Jake stated.

“Then let’s just choose somewhere first and head there. I wanna see some clothes,” Jay announced.

“Alright, I wanna check the Lego store. Who wants to come with me?”

“I—” Riki started, but was abruptly interrupted.

“Riki! Didn’t you say you wanted to check those new games with me and Jungwon?” Sunoo asked.

“Uh…” He stared at Sunoo, seeming to understand there was something he was trying to communicate. “Yeah, I forgot. Guess I’ll check the Lego store later.”

“Are you coming with me, babe?” Jake looked up at Heeseung, who had an arm around him.

“Yeah, I thought that was implied,” the older answered.

“Alright, we’ll find you guys later.” Sunoo said, quickly locking arms with Jungwon and Riki and walking away to the opposite direction they were heading before any of them could contest.

Once they were far enough, Jungwon pulled them to a nearby bench where there was no one else around, seeming aware that Sunoo wanted to talk to them in private. The three of them sat with Sunoo in the middle.

“We’re alone now, what happened?” Jungwon asked.

“I kissed Sunghoon again last night,” Sunoo blurted.

“What?” The two exclaimed in unison.

“How did it happen?” Jungwon asked.

“After everyone was asleep, he asked if he was a good kisser, so I told him I didn’t know and asked if I could kiss him again to help me remember.”

“Oooh, smooth,” Riki commented with a mischievous grin.

“Okay, give us details,” Jungwon said excitedly.

“What? No, I’m not gonna describe it to you guys,” Sunoo complained.

“But we need more information. Give us the basic, at least.”

“Yeah. Like, was it good?” Riki started and Sunoo knew there was an interrogation coming.

He sighed a little at the memory. “So good.”

“So I guess he really is a good kisser, huh?” Riki laughed.

“Did he touch you?” Jungwon asked.

“Yeah. On my waist,” Sunoo continued.

“Over or under the shirt?”

“Both.”

“So it wasn’t just a kiss, you must have been full on making out if he went under your shirt.”

“Well… yeah.” Sunoo looked away embarrassedly.

“How did you let things go so far?”

“I don’t know, it just happened. Once it started, I couldn’t stop.” Sunoo almost felt like panicking again from thinking how things had evolved.

“Are you sure you’re not in love with him?”

“I don’t know anymore. Maybe?”

“Oh, he’s considering it. We got progress,” Riki observed.

“But I need help. I’m not sure what I should do now. Do you guys think I should just get away from him until we forget about it?”

“No!” They replied in unison again.

“The last thing you should do now is get away from him. It’s not like either of you would actually forget about it anyway,” Jungwon pointed out.

“Yeah, it’s only gonna make things more awkward,” Riki commented.

“Why don’t you talk to him?”

“What am I gonna say? I barely understand what I’m feeling yet. What if I just convinced myself I like him as more than a friend for whatever reason? It could not mean anything.” Sunoo fidgeted with his fingers.

“Sunoo, it seems pretty obvious to me that you like him now.”

“But even if I do, what then? I can’t just come up to him and tell him that. What if he doesn’t like me back?”

“That’s just not true and you know it.”

“But what if we decide to get together and then I realize that I don’t like him as I thought and break his heart? Or what if we try to date but it doesn’t work out? I don’t know if we could go back to being friends after that and I don’t want to lose him.”

“Wait, calm down.” Jungwon grabbed his hands. “Nothing happened yet. It’s okay, you don’t need to talk to him right now, but you don’t need to get away from him either. You can use this time to get closer and figure out what you feel. Give yourself some time.”

“Okay.”

“And as for your fear of losing him, I understand that. But if you actually like him, you need to be ready to never be able to see him as just a friend again, specially since you have already kissed him. You know, you told me this: if you know your friendship will never be the same again, you might as well give it a chance to be something more.”

“I guess have a point,” he said pensively. “Well, what should I do now, then?”

“Now you keep flirting with him, maybe even more than usual.”

“What do mean ‘more’? I don’t even flirt with him now.”

“Sunoo, you literally kissed him with the excuse that you didn’t remember if he was a good kisser. Also, what was that scene at the study two days ago?”

“Yeah, that was fun to watch,” Riki chuckled.

“I was just saving him from Taejun,” Sunoo innocently defended himself.

“You were jealous. You were saving him to yourself.” Jungwon stated and Sunoo looked away. “Listen, I’m not even judging you. I’m just saying you already flirt with him on a daily basis, you always have. You just convinced yourself you’re platonic for so long now that you don’t even notice it anymore.”

“I guess you’re right,” he pouted resignedly.

“I know I am. But my main point is that it’s time to flirt with him more than ever. Keep holding his hand, touching and hugging him, everything you already do. And if he gives you the chance to kiss him again, just do it.”

“Or find another excuse, since you’re clearly shameless enough,” Riki chuckled with a malicious smile.

“Shut up,” Sunoo nudged his arm, but there was a smile creeping on his lips. Maybe Riki was right — waiting for a chance could take too long and he was good at making up excuses, anyway.

Sunghoon and the rest of them continued to walk after the youngest boys had left.

After some time, once he was sure they were far enough from the other group, he wanted to talk about a certain topic, but wasn’t sure how to get into it. The subject hammered in his head until his thoughts were becoming a little too overwhelming to bear; he panicked for a moment and interrupted whatever conversation the other three were having.

“Guys, Sunoo and I kissed. Again.” Sunghoon announced and they all stopped on their tracks and turned to him astonished.

“What? When?” Jake asked.

“Last night, after you guys went to sleep.”

“You made out on my couch?” Jay was shocked.

“Yeah, but we didn’t do anything else, don’t worry.”

“No, no, I’m happy for you,” he quickly added.

“Wait, let’s get out of the way first,” Jake said, bringing them to an empty corner. “Okay, what happened?” He asked.

“I asked him if I was a good kisser, and then he said he wasn’t sure and asked if he could kiss me again to help him remember, so obviously I said yes.”

“Wow.”

“He asked for it?!” Heeseung widened his eyes.

“Yeah. But it probably didn’t mean anything, right?” Sunghoon asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he said that day that friends kiss sometimes. Maybe he just did it to tell me if I’m a good kisser.”

“Dude, did you even hear him? That was just an excuse to kiss you. He definitely wanted it,” Jay said.

“Yeah, man. He was being pretty obvious, even to me,” Heeseung commented.

“You really think so?” Sunghoon was still unsure.

“Tell us, how long did it last?” Jake questioned.

“Well, I wish it had been longer, but it was definitely a few minutes.”

“He started it, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Did he touch you anywhere?”

“Sort of? He just touched my hair and then my chest, and then he pushed me on my back and—”

“Oh wow.” Jay blinked stupefied. “I can’t believe you’re still questioning whether he wanted to kiss you or not.”

“Sunghoon, I don’t know what you have been doing to flirt with him lately, but it’s working,” Jake commented. “I’m actually surprised it’s working so fast too,” his eyebrows furrowed a little.

“What happened after the kiss?” Jay asked.

“It was a little awkward at first,” Sunghoon explained. “He just told me I was a good kisser and turned to the other side. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and get too close so soon, but then he said he was still cold, so I cuddled him to sleep.”

“Ooh, Sunoo got game. More than you, apparently.” Heeseung laughed.

“Wait, so you think he was flirting?”

“Well, we don’t know if Sunoo likes you yet, but even if he wasn’t intentionally trying to flirt, he definitely wanted to kiss you. That’s for sure,” Jake pointed out. “Also, how were things this morning? Neither of you seemed to be awkward to me.”

Sunghoon sighed. “This morning was so hard. When I woke up, I was so sleepy I didn’t even remember it at first, but then I was so scared to face him I tried to keep him on the couch for as long as possible. He seemed to be normal about it, so I did my best to act normal too, but I’m not sure if he bought it. I’m so lost, what should I do now?”

“Just keep flirting with him. If you wanna kiss him again, you need to show him you’re okay with it. Don’t overreact, don’t let things get weird and just go on. And then, when you feel more sure that he likes you back, tell him how you feel.”

“But how am I supposed to know that he likes me back?” Although his friends had already helped him a lot, Sunghoon couldn’t help feeling distressed and it showed.

“Keep watching the signs. He’s already giving some,” Jay said. “I know it’s hard to look for this kind of thing, and you’re probably afraid to confess too soon and scare him away; I know because I’ve been there before. But you don’t need to rush it, just keep doing what you’re doing for now and see how he reacts.”

“What if someone else comes along again? Sunoo has been single for a while, I feel like he might start flirting with someone anytime now.”

“Have you considered he might not be flirting with anyone because he’s flirting with you?” Jay raised his eyebrows.

Sunghoon was struck for a moment. Could Sunoo really be flirting with him? They had been so close for so long then, it was hard for him to tell if the boy meant anything else with his actions. But if he was responding to Sunghoon’s advances instead of running away, that was already a good sign, right?

Sunoo had kissed him again; whatever was the reason, he had asked for it himself. Perhaps the younger was just needy and would have kissed anyone at that moment, but what if he really wanted to kiss Sunghoon?

Maybe he was expecting too much and setting himself up for heartbreak. If they were wrong and Sunoo really saw him as just a friend, it would probably hurt even more to see him with someone else now that Sunghoon knew how it felt to kiss him.

But he didn’t care anymore. He had waited long enough and finally felt like he had a chance; he wouldn’t let it get away without going for it with all he had.

They talked a little more on the subject and went into a few stores before deciding to meet the rest of the boys again.

Jay texted Jungwon and found out they were heading for the food court. When the four arrived there, they saw the other three standing in front of an ice cream shop.

“Jay!” Jungwon pulled him by the hand. “This is great, you got here just in time to pay for us.”

“I’ll pay for you, but I don’t see why I should pay for Riki and Sunoo too,” the older joked.

“Oh, come on, hyung,” Riki whined and Sunoo laughed at them.

“I’ll pay for them.” Sunghoon came in, handing his card to the cashier.

“It’s fine, hyung, you don’t have to,” Sunoo said.

Don’t let things get awkward, Sunghoon told himself.

“I want to.” He smiled and bumped the knuckle of his index under his chin.

A soft smile crept on the boy’s lips and he looked away, seeming to get shy. “Okay, then.”

When Sunghoon finished paying, he turned around and saw Sunoo already eating it. The younger promptly brought the tiny white spoon with ice cream to his face. “Hyung, say ‘aah’.” 

“I don’t like mint chocolate.” Sunghoon responded, but Sunoo already knew that — he was probably just trying to tease him again.

“It’s not mint chocolate,” the younger corrected and that’s when Sunghoon noticed the ice cream was a light brown color instead of green. “It’s coffee. I got your favorite so we could share.”

“Oh.”

Sunghoon was actually a little surprised. Sunoo had bought ice cream for him before, but he would usually get one for himself as well. He couldn’t think of a reason the younger had decided to buy only one for the two of them, but it’s not like he would complain.

“Come on, it’s melting!” Sunoo rushed him with the spoon still in front of his mouth.

Sunghoon obediently opened his mouth and let the boy feed him. He caught Riki smiling at his own ice cream with the corner of his eye and wondered for a second what could be so funny about the food, but Sunoo soon took his attention away again.

“Hyung, are you 5?” He sighed, bringing a hand to his face before he could notice.

Sunghoon’s heartbeat stopped for a moment when he felt Sunoo touch his lip, gently wiping it with his thumb. He melted a little watching the boy stick the tip of his tongue out and lick the ice cream from his finger. The scene was short, but he was ready to replay it in his mind a thousand times.

Sunoo’s lips would certainly feel cold against his if he kissed him then. He imagined how he would bite his lip and slip his tongue in, tasting the coffee ice cream straight from his mouth — the thought alone sparked something inside him and he couldn’t help but sigh.

He could live in that daydream forever, but was interrupted before he could go on.

“Let’s go. We need to be early if we wanna get good seats.” Jay said, bringing a hand around Jungwon’s waist.

In a glance, Sunghoon noticed his friends — the three who shared his secret — subtly smile at him right before moving along.

Sunoo intertwined their hands and they moved with the group, staying a little behind so the seven of them wouldn’t get in the way of other people.

Sunghoon noticed Sunoo look down at his ice cream pensively, glance at him and then stare ahead again; he quickly caught the implication — maybe the younger had been so impulsive to hold his hand, he had forgotten he needed two hands to eat the ice cream, but he didn’t seem too eager to let his hand go.

Sunoo’s puzzled expression was so endearing, Sunghoon didn’t want to let go of his hand yet, but the ice cream would only last so long. He untangled their fingers and brought his arm around Sunoo’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

“Another bite,” Sunghoon asked.

With his hand now free, Sunoo ate a spoonful of the ice cream before getting another and taking it to Sunghoon’s mouth. They momentarily slowed down to prevent an accident, and Sunghoon happily took all the ice cream in the spoon, thinking of how it had been on Sunoo’s lips just a few seconds before. It was a silly thought. They had always shared things like spoons and straws, but still the indirect kiss left a sweet taste in his mouth.

They repeated the process until the ice cream was over, which didn’t take long.

As they passed by a clothing store, something caught Sunoo’s eye. He easily convinced Sunghoon to go in with him and told the guys that they would meet them at the cinema later.

While Sunoo looked for the outfit he wanted, Sunghoon stayed near him checking other racks. He walked letting his hand brush through the hung clothes, stopping at a particular piece that drew his attention — a white cropped top with some phrase in English.

He couldn’t help but imagine how Sunoo would look in it. The shirt wasn’t too short, but definitely short enough to let his abs show — short enough that if Sunghoon touched his waist, he would find skin instead of fabric, just like the night before. He would kill to see Sunoo wear it, but the boy never seemed too interested in that style of clothing.

He realized he’d been staring at the shirt when Sunoo called him again.

“Found it!” He announced, carrying two pieces of clothing.

“Okay, let’s try it,” Sunghoon said and they walked to the fitting room.

When they got in front of the door, Sunoo extended his arms, handing him the clothes. Sunghoon grabbed them on impulse, but wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do then.

“Let me see the outfit before you change it back.” Sunoo said before moving to sit on a waiting chair nearby.

“Uh… Okay.”

Sunghoon had assumed Sunoo had picked them for himself and he wasn’t planning on trying clothes when they came, but from the look on the boy’s face, he didn’t feel like he had a choice.

He walked into the fitting room and changed. It looked good, but he wasn’t sure what had drawn Sunoo’s attention. It was a simple outfit — a loose sleeveless white shirt and a red flannel.

Sunghoon opened the door and walked outside. Sunoo instantly looked up from his phone. His eyes analyzed him so thoroughly, the older almost felt shy under his gaze.

“So?” Sunghoon asked after a few seconds.

“It’s good,” Sunoo stated.

He wasn’t expecting a huge compliment, but it was such a short phrase, Sunghoon felt a little self-conscious, questioning whether it actually looked good. Maybe Sunoo didn’t like it as much as he thought he would.

The boy got up and walked in his direction. He stopped right in front of him, one hand under his elbow and the other on his chin, as if he was carefully evaluating the outfit. Sunghoon stood motionless, staring at his stern expression, as the younger grabbed a small part of the hem of the white shirt and tucked it inside his jeans. He couldn’t help thinking how cute he looked when he was concentrated.

Sunoo’s eyes studied Sunghoon for another few seconds and he seemed to have another idea. “Take off the flannel,” he said and Sunghoon did as told.

The boy took the red piece from his hand and brought his arms around his waist, wrapping the flannel on his hips and tying a knot on the front. Sunghoon had been much closer to Sunoo multiple times before, but the way the younger approached him then got him feeling a little fuzzy anyway.

Sunoo took a step back and scanned him up and down. There was something in his eyes Sunghoon couldn’t identify.

“That’s better,” he mumbled. “Okay, you can take it off now, we’ll take it.”

“I’m not sure if I should be spending money on clothes now.” Sunghoon commented.

“You’re not, I’m buying it. It’s my gift for you.”

“Sunoo, you don’t have to buy me stuff.”

“I want to,” he said decidedly. “Unless you didn’t like it, we’re taking it. Now go change before we’re late for the movie.”

Sunghoon knew there wasn’t much arguing with the younger then. He changed back and they went to the checkout counter. As soon as they left the store, Sunoo checked his phone.

“We still have a few minutes until the movie begins,” he observed. “It’s time enough for you to change into your new outfit. Let’s go.” He pulled Sunghoon to the restroom.

The older wanted to protest, but Sunoo was so happy, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He changed once again into the new clothes and the boy insisted it looked more stylish with the flannel around his hips, so that’s the way he left it.

They walked hand in hand, pointing at random things on the stores on the way, but soon they had to start running when they realized the cinema was farther then they remembered and the movie was just about to start.

When they arrived, they were late enough that there was no one else in line. Thankfully, they had already bought their tickets online, so the only thing left to do was buy the popcorn and the soda.

As silent as possible, they joined the other five boys, sitting on the two seats left on their row, with Sunoo right beside Riki. He gave them a quick glance as they sat down and then whispered something on Sunoo’s ear, to which the boy responded by nudging his arm and giggling softly.

Sunghoon wanted to ask what was funny, but it didn’t seem appropriate to disturb the people around them more than they already had by arriving late.

Sometimes, along the movie, their fingers would brush as they grabbed the popcorn and Sunghoon couldn’t help remembering those romantic scenes in movies and dramas, although it didn’t seem to feel exactly the same with them, for some reason. Still, it gave him a warm feeling inside, so he kept letting it happen as many times as he could, purposefully bringing his hand to the bucket at the same time as Sunoo.

At some point, the younger was just about to put his hand in the bucket, but hesitated on the last moment and Sunghoon wasn’t quick enough to realize it, involuntarily holding back as well.

He heard Sunoo give a low chuckle and felt him lean on his shoulder.

“Hyung, if you want to hold my hand, you can just say so,” Sunoo whispered on his ear and he didn’t have to look to know he was smiling. The boy slowly slid his hand over Sunghoon’s and interlaced their fingers before turning back to the movie, picking a popcorn with his other hand and popping it into his mouth.

Sunghoon felt his cheeks grow warm; thankfully, the room was too dark for the younger to notice it. He considered thinking of a witty response and making Sunoo flustered instead, but he didn’t feel the need to — holding Sunoo’s hand already felt like winning. It was funny: he’d done it a hundred times before, but the butterflies swirling around his stomach told him something about this was different.

A while later, once the popcorn was over, Sunoo rested his head on his shoulder. Again, it was something they had done many times before, but the air of the cinema seemed to make it special in a way he couldn’t explain. Maybe that’s what all those movies were on about.

Sometimes, throughout the rest of the movie, one of them would whisper a joke and they would laugh by themselves until someone shushed them, which only made them want to laugh more, but they were trying not to be kicked out before the ending.

Sunoo seemed to be specially clingy to his arms through the rest of the afternoon. Sunghoon almost teased the boy for choosing a sleeveless shirt just so he could touch his muscles, although he knew that wasn’t actually the case, but he was afraid the younger would stop doing so if he did, so he kept quiet.

After the movie, the boys decided to eat something at the food court and, soon after, everyone went home.

Just like that, the day was already over.

At night, he sent Sunoo a few memes of the movie they had watched that day and they talked for another 10 minutes before going to sleep.

Sunghoon felt a wave of relief when he realized being around Sunoo had been easier than he’d thought. The butterflies were still there and he couldn’t help being flustered sometimes, but being around his best friend continued to be as comfortable as it had always been. It seemed that not even a kiss was strong enough to come between them, so maybe, just maybe, it would be okay if he kissed Sunoo again sometime.

Chapter Text

It had been two weeks since the sleepover at Jay’s — two weeks since Sunoo had kissed Sunghoon again.

Like the first time they had kissed, they managed to quickly go back to normal, remaining just as close as usual. In fact, it seemed as if they were even closer then, if such a thing was possible. They now visited each other almost every day before or after college and turned sleepovers into a weekly thing. On the weekend prior, it had been Sunghoon’s place, so this time it was Sunoo’s.

Since the talk with Jungwon and Riki, Sunoo had been planning to take any chance he found or make up another excuse to kiss Sunghoon again, but it was much easier said than done and he hadn’t felt brave enough to make another attempt yet.

It was a Saturday. They spent the entire afternoon working on their individual assignments and studying for exams, only taking time to rest once the sun had started to set.

They had dinner and watched some random show Sunoo chose, spending most of the time commenting and laughing instead of watching.

After showering and getting ready for bed, they had just lain down when Sunoo felt a sudden urge. He told himself it was nothing and he should just go to sleep, but the more he tried to ignore it, the more he thought about it. After a few seconds of dwelling on it, he turned to Sunghoon, who was scrolling through his phone.

“Hyung…” Sunoo called softly.

“Hm?”

“Are you sleepy?” He asked casually.

The older thought for a second. “Not really. Why?”

“I was just thinking… um…”

“What is it?”

“I’m afraid you’ll get mad if I ask this.”

Sunghoon had completely turned to him, curious about his request. “You know I can’t get mad at you. Whatever it is, it’s fine. Just ask.”

“I’m craving ice cream,” Sunoo finally said and Sunghoon chuckled.

“That’s it? Why would I get mad at you for that? I’ll buy you some tomorrow, don’t worry.” The older turned his eyes back to his phone.

“But… I kind of want it now. And I might not want it tomorrow anymore,” he argued.

“Sunoo, you always want ice cream. Trust me, you’ll still want it tomorrow.”

“But it’s not the same. I really, really want it now.”

“Why didn’t you buy some before?” He looked at Sunoo again.

“I didn’t want it before.”

Sunghoon thought for a moment. “Well, there’s not much we can do, though. I don’t think there are any ice cream shops open right now.”

“Actually, there’s a convenience store nearby and they are opened 24 hours. You know which one, you’ve been there before.”

Sunghoon sighed, noticeably having hoped Sunoo wouldn’t think of that solution. “Sunoo, it’s almost midnight,” he stated.

“So?”

“We are already in bed,” he stared at Sunoo with pleading eyes.

“Yeah, but you said you weren’t sleepy.”

Sunghoon looked at nowhere in particular and Sunoo could see the light leaving his eyes. It was almost funny to watch, but maybe it really wasn’t fair to include Sunghoon in his midnight quest; he should let the older rest.

“Never mind. You’re right, it’s too late for this now.” Sunoo said as he sat by the edge of the bed and put on his slippers.

“Where are you going?”

“To buy ice cream. You can stay here, I’ll be back in 10 minutes,” Sunoo replied as he left the room.

Sunghoon quickly jumped out of bed. “Wait, I’m going with you!”

The older caught up with him and they stopped in the hallway.

“It’s fine, you really don’t have to. I’m not mad, I promise,” Sunoo told him.

“I know, but I’m not letting you go out alone now. It’s late.”

“But—”

“Let’s go, I wanna be back home as soon as possible,” Sunghoon left for the door without waiting for an answer, leaving Sunoo with no choice but to follow.

The older quickly changed his shoes and then turned back at him, scanning him up and down.

“You’re going out like this?” Sunghoon frowned.

“Like what?” Sunoo looked down at his clothes.

“You’re only wearing a shirt and shorts. You’ll catch a cold. Go grab a hoodie first.”

“But—” I’m not cold, he wanted to say.

“Do you want the ice cream or not?” Sunghoon had his eyebrows raised and his arms crossed.

“I do,” Sunoo pouted and resignedly went back to the room to put on a hoodie before they left.

You’re not wearing a hoodie either, Sunoo wanted to complain, but Sunghoon was already being nice enough to go out with him so late at night.

The store was a 5-minute walk from Sunoo’s place. When they arrived, they went straight for the ice cream section and decided to take two tubs, one for each of them, but as soon as they got to the checkout counter, Sunoo realized he should probably take an extra, just in case.

As he went to grab another tub, he could hear the cashier — who was a very pretty girl — talking to Sunghoon. One of them must have made a joke because he heard both of them laughing. Sunoo was supposed to be choosing the ice cream flavor he would take, but his mind was too focused on trying to hear their conversation. The refrigerators were on the opposite side of the store from the checkout, so he couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying, but he could swear he heard her ask for his number.

Sunoo liked the girl — Yunjin, if he remembered the name tag correctly. She had always been nice to him and he wouldn’t start disliking her for something as stupid as asking for Sunghoon’s number, if that was even the case. He was the last person on Earth who could judge someone for asking for his number, in the first place, but still, the idea left an unsettling feeling in the back of his mind.

He couldn’t hear Sunghoon’s reply and their conversation seemed to become too quiet all of a sudden. Sunoo grabbed a random chocolate ice cream tub and went back to the counter.

“Got it!” He announced, putting the tub on the counter along the others.

“Finally. I thought you were trying to produce the ice cream,” Sunghoon joked.

Sunoo noticed Yunjin smile down at the items as she checked the last ice cream and smile again at him with a sweet gaze as they left the store. He smiled back at her, but there seemed to be something in her eyes he couldn’t identify.

“What were you two talking about before?” Sunoo tried to ask as casually as possible.

“Just small talk.”

“Hm, okay,” Sunoo said, but he still wasn’t satisfied and wasn’t in the mood to wait too long for an answer. “She asked for your number, right?”

Sunghoon widened his eyes at him. “Uh, yeah. You could hear us?”

“Yeah, but only until that part. I couldn’t hear what you said after that.”

“Oh, okay.”

Sunoo expected him to keep talking and complement the information, but he never did. The younger didn’t want to have to ask, but he knew Sunghoon wouldn’t speak on his own and he was too curious to just ignore the issue.

“So?” Sunoo raised one eyebrow. “Did you give her your number?”

Sunghoon looked at him like he wasn’t expecting that question and shook his head slightly. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Well… she’s not my type.”

“Ah, okay,” Sunoo feigned indifference.

A part of Sunoo wanted to keep asking more. What was Sunghoon’s type? They were close, but weirdly enough, they had never gotten to the topic; Sunghoon just never seemed to be interest in this kind of subject. However, Sunoo was satisfied enough to hear that answer, and it wasn’t like he was trying to make Sunghoon rethink his choices — he was quite happy with them already.

Sunoo looked ahead and noticed they were passing by a small park with a playground — one he usually ignored, as it was a mundane part of the way to the convenience store, but one that felt too nostalgic to be at with Sunghoon by his side. He felt an impulse and let himself be taken by it.

“Come on,” Sunoo grabbed Sunghoon’s wrist and ran toward the playground. He handed him the bag with one of the ice cream tubs and jumped on the swing. “Push me.”

“Sunoo, the ice cream will melt,” the older pointed out.

“Only one minute. Please, hyung,” he put effort into making the softest pout and the most sparkling eyes.

Sunghoon sighed, moving to stand behind him and Sunoo knew he had won. He straightened himself on the seat and held each of the swing chains, feeling Sunghoon start to push him softly — maybe too softly.

“Stronger, hyung. I wanna go higher,” he whined and Sunghoon complied.

“Higher!” Sunoo asked again and the older kept pushing. “Waaa, this is so fun. I feel like I’m flying! Higher!”

“If you go any higher than this, we might have to spend the rest of the night at the hospital,” he said as he moved to stand in front of the swing, watching Sunoo go back and forth.

“It’s fine, you wouldn’t let me fall.”

“You have way too much trust in me,” Sunghoon chuckled.

“But it’s true. Look!” As the swing came forward, Sunoo moved his body making it seem as though he was going to jump. Sunghoon immediately dropped the bags and surged forward with his arms stretched out.

The swing moved back with Sunoo still in it and the boy threw his head back laughing. “See? I told you you wouldn’t let me fall.”

Sunghoon brought a hand to his chest and sighed heavily. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t actually going to jump.” Sunoo explained as he stopped the swing with his feet on the ground.

“And how was I supposed to know that?”

Sunoo noticed the older was still serious and tried to suppress the smile on his lips. Now that he thought about it, his heart fluttered a little at how fast Sunghoon was ready to catch him. He wondered how it would have felt to take the fall and land into his arms, how strongly and how close Sunghoon would have held him.

They stared at each other for a moment, Sunoo still trying to hold back his smile, and suddenly they were both laughing.

“Don’t do that again,” Sunghoon warned, noticeably trying to sound stern but failing. He picked up the bags and sat on the swing next to Sunoo.

“Okay, I won’t,” Sunoo said. The way they were sitting then sparked a very specific memory and he couldn’t miss the opportunity to bring it up. “Hyung, do you remember the first time we came here? We sat on these same spots.”

“Of course I remember. That day was… special,” he concluded after pondering on the last word for a moment. Sunoo wanted to ask what he meant, but he continued. “It was the first time I went to your place.”

Sunoo nodded softly, thinking of their shared memory. “That day was so fun. And it was only two or three weeks after we met, right?”

“Yeah…” Sunghoon distractedly looked into the distance and gave a soft chuckle. “The day we met…”

Sunoo’s mind automatically wandered back to their first encounter, 2 years prior. “Do you remember? I was so lost that day,” he giggled at the memory.

“How could I forget about it? It was the beginning of our friendship.”

They had talked about their first meeting before, but there was something Sunoo had never asked and he suddenly felt curious. “What was your first impression of me?”

Sunghoon though for a moment. “You seemed lost.”

“Well, obviously,” he retorted and they both laughed. “I mean, what did you think about me when you first saw me?”

“Honestly? You were… cute. Like, really cute. And you seemed so lost, I felt like I had to protect you or something,” he had a soft glint in his eyes. “What about you? What came to your mind when you first saw me?”

Sunoo pursed his lips into a pout, pretending to think. “Mainly hope of getting to class in time.”

“Hey, I’m serious,” The older nudged his arm and Sunoo laughed.

“Well, I was a little surprised,” he started and the older furrowed his eyebrows. “Before you turned around, I wasn’t expecting you to be so cute.” Sunoo averted his gaze, feeling shy all of a sudden.

“What? You thought I was cute?” Sunghoon asked astonished and Sunoo nodded his head softly. “How could you look at me and think I was cute instead of handsome?”

Sunoo burst out laughing. “You’re much cuter than you think, hyung.”

“Ah, I can’t believe this… Here I was, thinking you were gonna say you were dazed by my striking visuals or impressed by my handsome face, but I was just ‘cute’. Not good looking, not pretty, just cute,” he huffed. “Fine, I guess. It’s better than nothing,” he complained, but didn’t seem too frustrated by the smile on his face.

Sunoo threw his head back laughing at his drama. “Ah, I can’t stand you sometimes,” he said, contradicting the way he softly gazed at the older.

Sunoo kept thinking about that day. When he pondered on it, he couldn’t believe how lucky he had been to have found his best friend so easily and in such an unlikely way. Although he didn’t believe in fate, it seemed almost as if they were destined to meet, but even if it had been a mere strike of luck or a coincidence, he was grateful to whatever had brought them together.

“I was so lucky to have found you that day. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t think I would have made it to class at all. For some reason, there was literally no one else around at that time,” Sunoo remembered.

“Yeah…” Sunghoon looked away, as if he had just thought of something.

“By the way, what were you doing there? You seemed to be the only person who didn’t have class.”

“Actually, I sort of did have class,” he corrected, still not looking at him.

“What?” Sunoo widened his eyes.

“You found me just when I was texting Jay because I was also late for my class and couldn’t find where it was.”

“But that day you told me…”

“That I didn’t have class,” Sunghoon finished his sentence and looked up at Sunoo again. “Yeah, well, you didn’t seem like you could find yours alone and you needed help. I thought you wouldn’t accept my company if I told you the truth. I really didn’t mean to lie to you, I just sort of panicked.”

Sunoo was a little shocked at the reveal. “Did you make it in time?”

“Your class was at least 15 minutes away from mine. I took you there and came back and I was already running late. What do you think?”

That didn’t make any sense. Why would Sunghoon have skipped the first class of the year for him?

“But why did you do it? You didn’t even know me. You could never see me again after that.”

“Well, a cute boy had asked for my help, I couldn’t just leave him alone on the wrong side of campus,” he explained with a smile and Sunoo felt a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. “But why are you complaining? You said it yourself, you wouldn’t have found your class if it wasn’t for me.”

They had been friends for over 2 years and this was his first time hearing this side of the story. Sunghoon had always done things for him, but Sunoo never guessed it went all the way from the first time they met. It warmed his chest to think the older had gone so far for him even before they became friends.

Sunoo wasn’t sure what else to say then. “I guess you’re right…”

“Besides, you made sure we would see each other again shortly after that, so it was worth it.” Sunghoon smiled.

“That’s true…” Sunoo thought for a while. “I was so nervous back then and you were being so nice. Also, I didn’t know anyone else besides Jungwon, and he was almost as lost as me, so I didn’t have any option but to bother you,” he chuckled weakly.

Sunghoon just looked at him with soft eyes for a moment before speaking again. “Sunoo, you never bothered me.”

The younger couldn’t help staring back. Sunghoon’s eyes pierced through him, but there was something so soothing and gentle about the way he looked at Sunoo, he started to feel shy under his gaze again. His heart became loud on his ear and he felt a sudden need to change the subject.

“Now that I think about it, that was the day we started gathering our friend group.” Sunoo averted his gaze to stare at his feet as he softly kicked the air.

“Yeah. You brought Jungwon while I brought Jay and Heeseung.”

“Yeah… but it was only complete after Riki and Jake came along.”

“And that didn’t take long. We practically adopted Riki as soon as we found him and we had to include Jake in the group if we wanted to help Heeseung,” Sunghoon stared ahead, seeming to be lost in the memory.

Sunoo giggled. “Yeah, and even after we started hanging out with Jake, Heeseung was still too embarrassed to flirt with him. It was so funny to watch sometimes.”

“It was almost sad, actually,” Sunghoon smiled softly.

“Well, they’re fine now. We all are. I’m really happy with how our group turned out.”

“Me too…” Sunghoon said pensively and Sunoo noticed him staring at him with the corner of his eyes.

A question popped in Sunoo head. “What would you do if you could go back to the day we met?”

Sunghoon looked up, seeming to be thinking of an answer. “I would have taken you to another part of campus and pretended to get lost again so we could skip class together. And you?”

Sunoo giggled at his answer and pretended to think for a few seconds. “Hm… I guess I would have skipped class to walk around campus with you,” he concluded and they gazed at each other with soft smiles again, knowing they both meant what they said.

They were in comfortable silence for a moment.

Sunoo let his head fall back slightly, closing his eyes and inhaling the cold air of the night — it carried the scent of flowers mixed with the gentle breeze one would feel on a spring day. He wanted to keep this moment in his mind forever, wanted to remember what the air smelled like and how everything felt right then. Slowly, he exhaled and opened his eyes again.

When he turned back to Sunghoon, he found the older staring at him with unblinking eyes and slightly parted lips, as if he was caught in a daze.

“Hyung, are you okay?” He asked.

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine,” Sunghoon replied, quickly averting his gaze. “You just… you look pretty.”

Sunoo felt his heart flutter in his chest. Although Sunghoon didn’t compliment him too often, he was the first person to reassure Sunoo about his looks whenever he didn’t feel too confident. That wasn’t the first time he heard those words from the older, but the place and the air and way he had looked at him — it all made it feel so different than any other time.

Or maybe Sunoo just couldn’t hear the words that came from his mouth as he used to. Before, he would hear his best friend speak — the dork who was too good at comforting and annoying and making him laugh at any time. But lately, he’d been hearing Sunghoon — the boy with a soft voice, a gentle gaze and strong arms, the one that could make him feel a million butterflies just by looking at him for too long.

Sunghoon was still saying the same things, the same words he had since they met, but they sounded so different now — and Sunoo liked it. He liked anything that came from his lips, but these words sounded particularly sweet.

Instead of feeling shy again, Sunoo felt a smile creeping on his face.

“I guess you could say you were dazed by my striking visuals, huh?” He could barely contain his grin at this point.

Sunghoon huffed and rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on the corner of his lips.

“Didn’t you say ‘one minute’? We’ve been here for ten now.” The older got up. “Let’s go, the ice cream will melt.” He started walking without waiting for Sunoo.

Sunoo giggled to himself, knowing he succeeded in making Sunghoon shy. He left the swing and ran a little to catch up with him, holding his hand and interlacing their fingers.

They walked the last three minutes of the path hand in hand, with Sunoo skipping and balancing on random obstacles on the way. When they got home, they were surprised to find the ice cream hadn’t melted as much as they thought and Sunoo wished they had spent a few more minutes at the park, but soon they were having ice cream in the kitchen, talking and laughing again. He got so distracted, he didn’t have time to think about it anymore — after all, it didn’t really matter where he was as long as Sunghoon was there. They stayed there lost in random conversations, long after they were done with the ice cream.

That night, once they had lain down again, Sunoo felt like he could repeat that little adventure a thousand times. Being honest with himself, he enjoyed bothering Sunghoon once in a while — he always had.

Chapter Text

2 years and a few months ago

Sunghoon stood at the entrance of the Mechanical Engineering building. He had gone inside and out twice then and still couldn’t find his classroom. Ah, the first class of the year, what a great day to be late. Maybe he was a little guilty for having slept through the first alarm, but it wasn’t his fault the bus had been so full he had to wait for the next one.

The area around him was empty. It would usually have more people, but no one wanted to miss the first day of class, and if they did, they would simply not come to college that day. Only someone like Sunghoon would let himself be late on a day like this and be incapable of finding his classroom.

But there was hope — the class had started only 10 minutes before, he could still make it time and try to reason with the teacher.

His phone rang with a notification. It was Jay, asking where he was. Right then, Sunghoon realized he could have just asked him in the first place instead of going back and forth by himself. Jay was one of his closest friends (although he didn’t have many, to begin with). They had started college together, one year before, so he felt lucky to have someone taking the same classes as he in moments like this.

Sunghoon started typing to tell Jay he got lost when he heard a soft voice behind him.

“Excuse me.”

He turned around and saw a cute boy fidgeting with his fingers. He was a little shorter than Sunghoon and his built wasn’t so small, but his face was so delicate it gave him an angelic aura. He clearly wasn’t wearing a lot of make up — none, maybe —, but he still looked so pretty, Sunghoon was slightly stunned for a second.

“Uh, yes?” Sunghoon replied.

“I’m sorry to bother you, I just… it’s my first day here and I think I’m lost. Do you happen to know where this classroom is?” The boy asked, showing him a timetable spreadsheet on his phone. Apparently someone had it worse than him.

“Oh, I think this class is pretty far from here.”

“How far?”

“It’s around 15 minutes walking in that direction.” Sunghoon explained as he pointed the way, feeling a little bad for delivering the news.

“Oh, okay,” the boy looked dejected. “Uh, thanks, anyway.” He sighed softly and started to leave.

By the look on the boy’s face and how far he was, he would probably not make it in time unless he found someone else to help him on the way, which was unlikely, considering most people wouldn’t skip the first day of class. He was too cute to be left alone wandering through campus and, besides, this was his first day, Sunghoon couldn’t let it be a bad memory for him.

“Wait!” Sunghoon said on impulse and the boy turned at him. “It’s kinda hard to find it, I’ll take you there.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to. You must have other things to do now,” the boy looked a little embarrassed, but it was so adorable, it only made Sunghoon want to help him more.

Sunghoon immediately locked his phone, which had a sequence of unanswered texts from Jay asking where he was. “No, I don’t have class now. Let’s go.” He started walking.

“Alright, then.” The boy hesitantly agreed, following along.

On the way, he found out the boy’s name was Sunoo and that he had another friend joining college with him, but he had gotten there in time, so he wasn’t able to help him. Sunghoon introduced him to other parts of the college where they passed by and Sunoo seemed to get more comfortable along the walk.

By the time they got to his class, they were already talking about the things they had in common and Sunghoon couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed that their journey had come to an end.

“Can’t believe I’m late on the first day of college,” Sunoo chuckled weakly. “I hope the teacher doesn’t get mad at me,”

“Don’t worry too much, this teacher is nice. I think she’ll understand. In any case, I can talk to her later, if you want,” Sunghoon offered.

“It’s fine, you already did too much for me,” he dismissed it with a soft smile. Sunghoon couldn’t help but think he looked even cuter when he smiled.

“Hey, don’t worry. It was nice for me too. I missed walking around college.”

“Alright, then.”

The older wasn’t sure what else to say and they stood in silence for a few seconds. “I think I’m gonna go now, then… I’ll see you!” He said, but questioned whether he would actually be able to see the boy again.

“See you…” Sunoo shyly waved his hand.

Sunghoon turned around and took two steps before he heard that soft voice call him once more.

“Wait!”

“Yes?” Sunghoon immediately turned back to him.

“I… I don’t know anyone here yet, so… I was wondering if I could have your number, maybe. If that’s okay…”

Sunghoon was taken back for a moment. The cute boy wanted his number and this might not be their last encounter, after all. “Uh… sure!”

Sunoo handed him his phone and he typed his number, trying not to let it show how happy he was.

“Hit me up if you need anything else,” he told the younger.

“Okay. Thanks, hyung!” Sunoo said with a bright smile.

Sunghoon could swear he felt his heart stop in that moment. His voice, his eyes, his smile — how could someone be this beautiful?

The smile on Sunoo’s face suddenly faltered and he seemed almost scared for a second. “Uh, I’m sorry, I mean… Is it okay if I call you—?”

“Yeah! Yeah, sure. No problem.” Sunghoon immediately reassured him.

“Okay, then,” he shyly smiled again. “I’ll see you later… hyung.”

Sunghoon watched him walk away and close the door behind him, remaining frozen in place for a few seconds. His heart was racing and he involuntarily held his chest, wondering when was the last time he had felt that, but he couldn’t remember ever feeling that way before.

He went back to his classroom, but realized he was so late, it was better to not get inside at all, so he stayed outside waiting for Jay and scrolling through his phone. He looked up more about the boy on Instagram and everywhere he could think of, but didn’t find more than a few pictures. Sunoo certainly knew how to take selfies, he looked amazing even in the most simple and casual ones, although Sunghoon still preferred to see him in person.

When Jay left the class, he went straight toward the chair where Sunghoon stood.

“Where were you, man?” Jay asked.

“Jay, I think I met the love of my life,” Sunghoon stated.

“What, when?” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“When you texted me, I was just about to reply when this beautiful boy came up to me and said he was lost and couldn’t find his class. Ah, Jay, he was so cute. He’s like the prettiest person I’ve ever seen.” Sunghoon involuntarily brought his hand to his chest as he remembered the way Sunoo had smiled at him before.

“I’m guessing you helped him.” Jay had a subtle smile on the corner of his lips.

“Yeah, obviously.”

“So you told him where his class was?”

“A little more than that, I just accompanied him to make sure he wouldn’t get lost again.”

“Where was his class?”

“Well… Not too far. You know… just in the Computer Science building,” Sunghoon explained, looking away for a moment.

“You went all the way there with him?” Jay widened his eyes.

“He was lost!” Sunghoon defended himself.

“It’s no wonder you were so late. Wait a minute, he’s a freshman?”

“Yeah.”

“Isn’t that kinda illegal?”

“We’re only one year apart, how illegal can it be?” Sunghoon felt his phone vibrate and picked it up. The notification made his heart race a little faster. “Oh my God, he texted me.”

“What did he say?” Jay asked and a second later seemed to come to a realization. “Wait, why does he have your number?”

“He said ‘hi’. What do I do?” Sunghoon looked up at Jay with panic in his eyes, ignoring his last question.

“Answer him!”

“But I might sound too desperate if I answer him straight away. I should wait a little.” He thought for a second. “But what if he needs my help? Yeah, it could be urgent, I should answer him now. You’re right.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

Jay was successfully ignored again as Sunghoon replied to Sunoo on his phone and attentively waited for his answer.

“I’m sorry to bother again so soon, but would you join my friend and I to the cafeteria for lunch?” Sunghoon read the text out loud with a smile and turned to Jay barely containing his grin. “He wants me to go to the cafeteria with him!”

“Yeah, that’s what you just read.” Jay stared at him amusedly. “But you’re not gonna be alone with him, his friend is gonna be there too.”

“Yeah, but that means he already likes me enough to ask me out.”

“Dude, you’re going to the cafeteria, it’s not a date.”

“Whatever, it feels the same. And if we keep seeing each other, we’re probably gonna go out at some point, so this is just the beginning.”

“If you say so… But be careful.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you just met him. You don’t know if he’s actually a good person yet and he might not even be interested in you the same way you are interested in him,” Jay reasoned.

“Wow, way to kill my vibe, man, ” deep down, Sunghoon knew Jay had a point, but he wasn’t in the mood to think logically then.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to have too many expectations and end up getting hurt. I’m trying to help,” he explained apologetically.

“Thanks for worrying, but I think I’ll be fine.”

Jay suddenly seemed to think of something. “Hey, can I go with you?”

“Why?”

“I wanna see for myself if he’s really as pretty as you say. You two aren’t gonna be alone, anyway. This way I get to meet him, at least.”

“Okay, you’re right, let’s make it a double date,” Sunghoon smiled and texted Sunoo to let him know he would also take a friend to their meeting.

“Maybe his friend is cute too, who knows?” Jay chuckled, throwing one arm around Sunghoon as they walked to find the other boys.

The cafeteria was somewhere in between their buildings. The closer they got, the more anxious Sunghoon felt. He had met Sunoo less than two hours before and he barely knew him yet, but he couldn’t help being happy with the prospect of seeing him again. He felt a little stupid, even.

As they got near the cafeteria, he saw Sunoo and another boy standing by the entrance from a distance.

“There, it’s him.” Sunghoon told Jay, subtly pointing at the two.

“Which one is he?”

“The cute one,” he said, thinking it would be obvious enough from what he had told Jay.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows. “They’re both cute,” he pointed out.

“He’s the cutest one,” Sunghoon stated matter-of-factly.

“Bro, you’re gonna have to be more specific than that.”

Sunghoon was about to protest, but then he paid closer attention to the other boy. “Yeah, okay. I see your point. Sunoo is the one in the gray hoodie.”

Sunoo was looking around until his eyes found Sunghoon. The boy smiled and waved, trying to draw his attention, but Sunghoon was already staring at him. He waved back and couldn’t help the smile that crept on his lips.

“Hey! Hope we didn’t make you guys wait too long.” Sunghoon said as they approached the two boys.

“No, it’s fine, we just got here.” Sunoo replied and turned to Jay. “Uh, hi, I’m Sunoo. And this is my friend, Jungwon,” he gestured toward the boy, who was shyly smiling at them.

They made their introductions and went inside the cafeteria. It didn’t take too long for all of them to get comfortable and the conversations easily started to flow.

Sunghoon, who had sat right in front of Sunoo, kept taking glances at the boy whenever he could, hoping he wasn’t being obvious. He noticed the younger look at him too at times and wondered if he was being delusional about it, but his heart was fluttering too much for him to think straight.

At some point, while they were all laughing at some joke Jay had told, Sunoo’s phone started to ring. He looked at the screen and began to get up.

“Oh, excuse me. I gotta pick it up, it’s my boyfriend,” Sunoo announced.

Boyfriend?

“Ugh, what does he want? We’re having lunch now,” Jungwon rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know, I’m gonna find out.”

“It’s probably nothing. Just ignore it and call him later.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Sunoo gave a weak laugh and walked away, picking up the call.

Sunghoon felt his world crumble in that moment. He barely heard the dialogue between the two boys, as he hadn’t even processed what Sunoo had said yet. Sunoo had a boyfriend. A boyfriend. He repeated the words in his head trying to make sense of them, but they never seemed to fall into place.

He noticed Jay subtly look at him, but didn’t look back and did his best to keep a straight face. Jungwon and Jay continued to talk in the meantime until Sunoo came back. When he returned, he quietly sat down beside his friend again, seeming a little down.

“Is everything okay?” Jungwon asked.

“Uh, yeah. He was just a little upset I didn’t text him this morning, but it’s all good now,” Sunoo explained.

Jungwon thought for a moment like he was questioning whether he should speak what was on his mind. “Well, you know what I think about this…”

“Long distance doesn’t work,” Sunoo dragged each word as if quoting something Jungwon had said before. “Yeah, I know. But can we not talk about this now?”

“Okay, let’s talk about something else.”

They quickly found another subject and Sunoo seemed to get distracted after a while, but in the back of Sunghoon’s mouth remained a bitter taste he couldn’t get rid of. He tried his best to not let it show through the rest of the time they spent with the two boys, but that stupid word was still there, hammering in the back of his mind — boyfriend.

Later on the same day, Sunghoon found some time alone with Jay. He didn’t even have to get into the topic because his friend brought it up unprompted.

“Hey, I’m sorry about Sunoo, man,” Jay softly tapped his back.

“Well, he really was too perfect to be single, so I guess I should have known,” Sunghoon said with a smile that didn’t quite translate into happiness.

“But look on the bright side: he likes boys!” Jay raised his eyebrows like that was a great argument.

“Yeah, but he already likes a boy and it’s not me!”

“Okay, that’s a valid point. But you know, couples break up all the time. This might not be the end.”

“I know, but I would be an asshole to hope that they break up. I don’t wanna see him sad.”

“I’m just saying there’s hope. Maybe if you stay around long enough, you could still have a chance.”

“Maybe…” He thought for a moment. “But maybe it’s better if I just stay away. I don’t wanna stay around him for this kind of reason.”

“I get you, man, but I still think you got a shot here.”

“Why are you insisting so much on this?” Sunghoon wasn’t mad at Jay, he was just too upset at the situation — more than he wanted to admit.

“Because you seem to like him a lot. It might be too soon to tell, but I’ve never seen you this whipped before. I just don’t want you to give up so easily and regret it later. But hey, if you think getting away from him will be better, then do it. I’ll support whatever you choose to do.”

“Thanks…”

“Just think well about it, okay?” Jay gave him a sympathetic smile.

“I will.”

So Sunghoon spent the next two weeks avoiding Sunoo. They already didn’t see each other much on campus, but whenever the boy texted him, he tried to keep his replies as short as possible. A part of him liked how Sunoo kept trying to talk to him, but it was hard to keep up his plan like that. He considered just ignoring Sunoo and maybe even blocking him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it — every time the younger texted him, Sunghoon was already typing an answer before he could realize.

On that weekend, he got another message from Sunoo. He was asking if Sunghoon was busy and the older pondered on what he should say. He liked Sunoo — a little too much, even —, but he didn’t want to be his friend just to keep feeding into his expectations that the boy could like him back someday. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. He should say he was busy and move on, Sunoo would find someone else for whatever he needed anyway, but a little voice inside his head was too curious about what the boy could possibly want from him.

Why? You okay? Sunghoon asked and Sunoo immediately replied: Come over please.

He followed the text with his location on the map and went offline again. Whatever it was, it must have been urgent if Sunoo could barely answer him right. He checked the way there — a 30-minute walk. It wasn’t too much, but if the situation was really urgent, he couldn’t afford to waste all that time. He left the house without even checking his hair on the mirror and got a cab in two minutes. There were not many cars on the road to Sunoo’s location, so he managed to get there in around 7 minutes.

I’m here, he texted Sunoo, standing in front of the building indicated on the map.

A few seconds later, Sunoo opened the front door. “Hyung! Thank God you’re here.” He quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, running upstairs and barely giving him time to react.

“He’s here,” Sunoo announced as soon as they stepped inside the apartment.

“What took you so long, man?” Jay asked him. He was kneeling on a chair, holding a bug spray.

Why was Jay there?

“I came as fast as I could!” Sunghoon justified, feeling too astonished to question his presence then. “What’s going on?”

“There’s a cockroach,” Jungwon explained with a slipper in each hand.

“That’s not a cockroach, it’s a monster,” Jay corrected.

“We called Jay to help us, but turns out he’s not very effective against insects.”

“Hey! You said it was an insect, you never told me it was gigantic!” He defended himself.

“How big is it?” Sunghoon questioned.

“At least 6cm. I’ve never seen one this size, it’s horrifying.”

“Where is it now?”

“It just went behind the couch,” Jay pointed at it.

“Alright, get me a slipper,” Sunghoon said and Sunoo handed him one of the two he was holding. “Here’s what we’ll do: Jay will pull the couch—”

“I won’t!” Jay protested. “What if it runs up my arm?”

“I’ll do it.” Jungwon volunteered, dropping his slippers on the floor.

“Okay,” Sunghoon continued. “So Jungwon will pull the couch and I’ll attack it. Jay can spray it from where he is and Sunoo can just stay behind me.”

“Yeah, I like this plan better,” Jay commented.

“Jungwon, when I count to 3, ready?”

“Ready,” they younger replied, getting closer to couch that hid the abomination.

“It’s really fast, be careful,” Sunoo warned.

“I will, stay there,” Sunghoon said, involuntarily extending his arm, as if trying to shield the boy. “Let’s go. One… two… three!”

Jungwon pulled the couch with all his strength and the cockroach reappeared climbing up the wall. It was as big as Jay had said, which made it incredibly unsettling. Sunghoon moved forward, but it started to fly before he could hit it, and any normal person can only be so brave in such a situation.

He stumbled backwards a little, trying to hit the insect with the slipper, while Jay followed it in the air with the spray. It must have been at least a little effective, because the creature suddenly fell and started to run aimlessly, zig-zagging through the room vaguely in Sunghoon’s (and Sunoo’s) direction.

“Kill it! Kill it!” Jay and Jungwon urged.

Sunghoon tried to step on it, but it was faster than him, passing him by and going in Sunoo’s direction. He heard the boy give a sharp scream and quickly turned around, seeing the boy repeatedly stomp on the cockroach in desperation.

When Sunoo finally stopped, they all stared at his foot expectantly.

“Is it dead?” Jay asked.

“I think so,” Sunoo commented.

All of them carefully watched as he slowly raised his foot. The insect laid there, seemingly smashed.

“Yeah, it’s dead,” Jungwon concluded, but change his mind in a second. “Oh, no — No, it’s not!”

The supposedly dead insect suddenly ran straight toward Jay, who squirmed in his seat in despair. He desperately sprayed in its direction, making it change route toward Sunghoon again, but this time it wasn’t as fast anymore and he successfully managed to step right on it. He made sure not to let it come back this time, and the other three boys sighed in relief.

After the chaos, they finally could rest and spent the rest of the afternoon talking in Sunoo’s apartment.

At some point, a little before sunset, Jungwon decided to go home and Jay offered to accompany him on the way. Once they had left, Sunghoon was left alone with Sunoo and he couldn’t help feeling self-conscious about it. Maybe he should leave too before things got awkward.

“Hyung, wanna have ice cream?” The younger suddenly asked him.

“Uh, sure,” Sunghoon wasn’t in the mood for ice cream and they were still in winter, but how could he deny it when the boy stared at him so sweetly?

“Let’s go, there’s a convenience store nearby.”

They went to the store and Sunghoon bought them ice cream, despite Sunoo insisting he didn’t have to pay for him. On the way back, they stopped by a park and sat on the swing.

They kept talking about random topics until the ice cream was over, which didn’t take too long. Sunghoon realized he loved to spend time with the boy, no matter what they talked about; time seemed to go by so fast when they were together.

Although it felt great to be around Sunoo, there was something on Sunghoon’s mind that didn’t quite let him rest ever since he had arrived at his apartment. He would probably never go out with Sunoo like this again, since he still intended to get away from the boy, so he could allow himself to have this last question answered.

“Can I ask you something?” he said and Sunoo nodded. “Why did you call Jay and not me first?”

Sunoo looked away, seeming to think. “Actually, I was going to call you first, but then Jungwon gave the idea of calling Jay and I… Well, I felt like I had texted you too many times this week already.” He looked at his feet, which were dangling in the air.

Sunghoon had wanted this. He had planned it, giving Sunoo short answers, avoiding him and hoping the boy would get away from him eventually, so what was this unsettling feeling in the back of his mind? To think Sunoo would rather call anyone but him, to think the boy didn’t feel like he could count on his help — he hated the feeling so much.

Sunghoon made a decision then.

“Call me first next time,” he said and Sunoo looked up at him again. “Jay can’t fight insects for his life,” he added and the younger laughed out loud.

“I noticed.”

“But I’m serious. Whatever happens from now on, don’t even think about calling someone else. I’m here for you, okay?” Sunghoon smiled softly.

“Okay,” Sunoo’s eyes seemed to sparkle at him. “The same goes for you, hyung. You can call me if you need.”

“Alright, then we have a deal.” He offered his pinky finger.

“Deal.” The boy locked their pinky fingers and smiled so brightly, his eyes turned into crescent moons. It was so cute, Sunghoon melted a little.

They turned back ahead and stayed in comfortable silence for a while. They were still in winter, but it wasn’t too cold that day and the breeze almost felt nice.

The sun had started to set through the trees of the park. Sunoo let his head fall back and closed his eyes, breathing in softly, and Sunghoon let himself stare at the boy.

Sunoo seemed to glow under the last rays of sunshine. The light hit his face, enhancing all the traits that made him beautiful and seemed to momentarily create a painting in orange hues — a masterpiece that would forever be engraved in Sunghoon’s mind and soul. His head was slightly thrown back, the sun shone through his hair and lit his face, all the way from his closed eyelids to his soft lips. A light breeze blew his hair, gently brushing it out of his forehead. Sunghoon could swear that in that moment looking at Sunoo was the same as looking directly at an eclipse — dazzling, absolutely blinding, but so mesmerizing he couldn’t take his eyes off him.

Sunoo was beautiful — he was the most beautiful boy Sunghoon had ever seen. It was even a bit astonishing to think such a person was real, but being around Sunoo went further beyond admiring his beauty. He was smart, sweet, witty. They had only been seeing each other for two weeks and Sunghoon could already tell Sunoo was so much more than a pretty face and he wanted to stay around him for everything he was.

Maybe Sunoo couldn’t be his the way he wanted. Maybe the boy just didn’t see him that way and maybe he never would, but Sunghoon still wanted to be there for him. He wanted to be the first person the younger thought of when he had a problem or news to share or when he simply needed to have someone by his side. Sunghoon was ready to be that person for him, even if it meant only being his friend.

As long as Sunoo let him, he would be there to buy him ice cream and fight insects for him.

Chapter Text

It was a Friday night, three weeks since the sleepover at Jay’s place and one week since their midnight ice cream adventure. Sunoo was in his bedroom packing his bag to go to Sunghoon’s apartment. He was choosing the outfit he would wear on the next day when they went out — Jungwon had found a new club and the boys had been complaining they’d been too stressed with tests and assignments lately, so they all agreed to go out for some fun that weekend.

He went through his wardrobe and suddenly remembered the cropped top he had bought recently, which he still hadn’t had the chance to use. It was black with purple letters in a rock-style font on the front and let only a thin line of his waist show, although he knew it would probably show a little more when he danced and raised his arms.

There was less than a month until summer; even the night air was hot these days. It was the perfect timing to wear it, although maybe it wasn’t so much about the weather as it was about him wanting to show off to a specific person.

Truthfully, a part of his mind was still stuck to the way Sunghoon had touched his waist under his shirt that day at Jay’s place. Even though they had slept together every weekend since then, the older had never done it again, only holding Sunoo over his clothes, and it didn’t seem like the sort of thing he could just ask for. He wouldn’t admit it, but it had been his first thought when he saw the cropped top on the store — Sunghoon wouldn’t have any choice but to touch him.

He chose black jeans to complete the outfit and packed them. He considered which pajamas to take, but got to the conclusion they weren’t as relevant — Sunghoon’s shirts fit him better, anyway.

The walk to Sunghoon’s apartment felt a little different this time. Sunoo was always happy to go there, but this weekend seemed to be specially exciting with the prospect of finally wearing his new shirt and going to a club, which they hadn’t done in a long time.

“What’s that?” The older asked as soon as Sunoo stepped into the apartment, pointing at the large bag he held.

“My coffee machine,” he explained and Sunghoon frowned. “Lately your coffee hasn’t been so good. I don’t know if it’s your skills or the machine, so I brought mine to find out.”

“What? My coffee isn’t bad,” he defended himself, seeming offended.

Sunoo looked away and pursed his lips into a thin line, walking toward the kitchen to lay the bag on the counter. “Let’s just try it, okay?”

Sunghoon still had a slight frown on his face. “Okay.”

Sunoo took a quick shower and changed into his sleepwear — a shorts and one of Sunghoon’s shirts —, walking out of the bathroom straight toward the kitchen. He didn’t even spare a glance at Sunghoon, but felt his eyes on him as soon as he stepped into the living room.

“Is that my shirt?” Sunghoon asked as Sunoo opened the fridge and grabbed a jar of cold water.

“Yeah, I didn’t bring mine,” the younger casually explained.

“So you remembered to bring a coffee machine but couldn’t remember your pajamas?”

Sunoo never said he forgot them — it simply wasn’t the truth —, but he wouldn’t correct him either.

“If you’re gonna complain, I’m just gonna walk around shirtless.” Sunoo threatened as he poured water in a glass, having his back to the older in the living room.

“No, no, no, I’m not complaining,” Sunghoon quickly corrected. “Keep the shirt. You look good in it,” he added with a subtle smiling creeping on his lips.

“I know,” he replied in a sassy manner before taking the glass to drink and turning around only enough to catch with the corner of his eye Sunghoon still staring at him.

Sunoo dropped the glass on the counter and turned around fast enough to see Sunghoon quickly moving his head back to the TV. The younger couldn’t help smiling at how obvious he was sometimes.

“What are we gonna watch now?” Sunoo asked as he sat down beside the older, bringing his knees to his chest.

“I just started this movie, it seems pretty good,” Sunghoon pointed at the screen with the remote.

“Alright.”

At first, he noticed the older giving him subtle glances with the corner of his eyes — maybe Sunoo wasn’t the only one who enjoyed seeing himself in Sunghoon’s shirts. However, once the action scenes started to play on the TV, Sunghoon completely turned his attention back to the screen.

It didn’t take Sunoo too long to realize Sunghoon had chosen the movie based on his own taste alone.

“This movie is boring, let’s watch another one,” the younger complained.

“Shhh, this part is good,” Sunghoon said without taking his eyes from the screen.

Sunoo went quiet and decided to give it another chance — he had chosen what they watched last weekend, after all —, but a few minutes later gave up again.

“Can we change it now?” He whined.

“Wait, just a little more.”

“Fine.” Sunoo rested his head on his shoulder and stretched his legs over Sunghoon’s lap. The older automatically brought his hands to his thighs, close to his knees, eyes still glued to the TV.

Sunoo knew he could get his attention if he really wanted to — it wasn’t a hard task for him —, but he was too tired to do anything then. He let his eyes shut for a second longer and felt himself drifting off to sleep.

Sunoo woke up again when he felt a movement near him and a hand brush his hair out of his forehead, but he didn’t have enough strength to open his eyes.

“How can you be so cute?” Sunghoon muttered and sighed softly.

Then he heard the TV go silent and noticed the ambient get darker through his eyelids. Sunghoon had probably turned off the TV, which meant Sunoo must have slept throughout the entire movie.

He was still half asleep when he felt the older shift on his seat and bring one hand behind his back and another under his legs before getting up with him in his arms.

Sunghoon was gentle, but the motion still startled him a little bit. Sunoo groaned as he opened his eyes slowly, bringing his arms around his neck.

“Hyung…” He said with a sleepy voice.

“Shhh, it’s fine. Just sleep,” Sunghoon whispered as he walked them to the bedroom.

It felt too good to be held in Sunghoon’s arms for him to contest; he just let his head rest against the older and brought his face closer to the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

Sunghoon carefully laid him down on the bed, covering him with the sheet. He turned around and Sunoo automatically reached for his wrist, holding him back.

“Where are you going?” He mumbled.

“I’m just gonna turn off the lights of the living room,” the older softly explained.

“Ah… Okay.” Sunoo let go of his wrist and watched him walk away in between heavy blinks.

He was almost drifting off again when he felt Sunghoon lie down in front of him.

“How was the movie?” Sunoo asked groggily, keeping his eyes closed.

Sunghoon gave a soft chuckle. “I don’t know, I didn’t finish it.”

“Why not?”

“Someone fell asleep on my shoulder.” He explained, softly brushing the hair on his forehead again.

“How long did I sleep?” Sunoo mumbled.

“Well, the last time you complained was five minutes ago. I thought it was weird you were quiet for so long, so I checked and you were already passed out.”

Sunoo was barely thinking, mind too heavy with sleep, but he still felt his chest grow warm to think Sunghoon gave up on the movie so quickly for him. Getting his attention was easier than he thought — or maybe that’s just because Sunghoon’s attention had always been his, anyway.

“You can go watch the movie, if you want. I don’t mind,” he told the older, and he meant it, although a part of him wished Sunghoon would stay by his side.

“It’s fine, I can watch it later. I only have you on the weekends, I gotta enjoy it, right?” Sunghoon booped the tip of his nose.

That was all Sunoo wanted to hear. He smiled and made a soft hum in contentment.

The younger opened his eyes for a brief moment, only long enough to find Sunghoon’s hand, and held it in the space in between them.

“Good night, hyung.”

“Good night.”

No part of their bodies were in contact this time, with the exception of their hands, but Sunghoon’s presence was so comforting and it all felt so soothing and intimate, Sunoo drifted off to sleep with a gentle lullaby playing in his chest.

On the next day, they started getting ready around two hours before the time they were supposed to meet the boys at the club because, according to Sunoo, “we only have one bathroom and you take ages to get ready”. Sunghoon knew he had a point, so he didn’t contest.

The older went to shower first, leaving Sunoo alone in the bedroom working on a college project. When he came back, the boy had just finished what he was doing and was about to start organizing his outfit for that night.

Usually, Sunghoon would take his clothes to the bathroom and change there after showering, but conveniently enough, he forgot about them this time. With a towel around his waist and hair dripping wet, he went to the bedroom. As soon as he walked inside, Sunoo glanced at him and quickly looked away, staring back at his backpack and the clothes spread around the bed.

It could just be Sunghoon’s imagination, but Sunoo’s cheeks seemed to grow into a light shade of pink, which sparked a light in his head.

“What’s wrong? Are you shy?” Sunghoon asked with a subtle smirk.

Sunoo raised one eyebrow, still looking down as he stretched his jeans to iron them on the bed. “Why would I be shy?”

“Cause you get shy around good looking shirtless men.”

The younger huffed and looked up at him. “You should try practicing humbleness sometimes, hyung. Also, I’ve seen you shirtless multiple times before, it doesn’t affect me,” he shrugged.

That stirred something inside Sunghoon. Whether Sunoo really wasn’t affected by seeing him shirtless or whether he was but didn’t want to admit it, the older couldn’t ignore it — he knew it was childish, but that would be like letting him win.

He couldn’t think of a comeback fast enough, but had a better idea. In a fast move, he completely ripped out the towel from his waist and watched Sunoo widen his eyes and turn around at the speed of light.

“Hyung!” Sunoo exclaimed, covering his eyes with one hand, despite already having his back to him.

“Chill, I’m wearing underwear,” he clarified and Sunoo slowly turned back around. “Pass me my pants.” He pointed at the piece of clothing standing on the bed next to the boy.

Sunoo grabbed it and threw it at him, still avoiding to look directly at him.

“Who said they weren’t shy again?” Sunghoon couldn’t contain his smirk then.

“That was before you threatened me with an obscene view!”

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” Sunghoon argued as he put on his jeans, having too much fun watching the obvious blush on Sunoo’s cheeks.

“But it’s different in locker rooms! Everyone is naked and no one looks directly at anyone.”

“Yeah, like you never checked me out,” Sunghoon scoffed.

Sunoo looked at him and brought a hand to his chest, seeming offended. “When did I ever?”

“You literally just did.”

“You walked in half naked, where did you expect me to look at?” The boy retorted and Sunghoon contently watched as his cheeks seemed to be getting even redder. “Also, you’re one to talk. It’s not like you never checked me out either,” he accused.

“Me?” Sunghoon squealed in a pitch higher than intended and widened his eyes. “I have never looked at you with anything but respect!”

“Checking someone out isn’t necessarily disrespectful,” Sunoo pointed out. “And you’re just too obvious sometimes. ‘Wow, Sunoo, your body proportions are so good’, ‘you don’t even go to the gym, it’s amazing’,” he mocked in a low voice, rolling his eyes.

Sunghoon huffed, shocked at being subjected to such accusations — true but outrageous accusations. Having no way to deny it, he was speechless and too embarrassed to think of another witty reply.

“Whatever. I have to shave now.” Sunghoon stated, turning around and leaving for the bathroom again.

“Why do you need to shave? You barely have any facial hair,” Sunoo pointed out, making the older stop and turn back around.

“Well, I gotta keep it smooth,” he justified.

“Why? It’s not like you’re gonna kiss anyone there tonight,” Sunoo scoffed with a scornful smirk.

However accurate Sunoo’s statement was, it made Sunghoon’s blood rush for a moment. Did he really not believe in his ability to flirt? Sunghoon indeed had no interest in kissing anyone at the club, except for the one currently mocking him, but it was still a blow on his pride.

“Excuse me? I could kiss someone there tonight,” he defended himself.

“Yeah, I’m sure you could,” Sunoo said with a malicious smile as he ironed his jeans, not even glancing at Sunghoon.

“You know what? I’m just gonna go shave now,” Sunghoon walked out the room, knowing Sunoo was probably still laughing to himself.

He spread a thin layer of shaving cream on his face and started working with the razor, mind stuck to their conversation. He knew Sunoo was just teasing him, as they always did with each other, but there was something specially annoying about the boy questioning his flirting and kissing skills. Could he be insinuating something? What if Sunoo thought he was a bad kisser? The thought was haunting, but a part of it didn’t make sense — had it been so bad, he wouldn’t have kissed Sunghoon for so long the last time they did it, and Sunoo wasn’t a liar, he wouldn’t have lied about him being a good kisser either. One thought led to another and suddenly his mind was on their last kiss, which was just as haunting.

Somewhere on the way, now distracted with memories of a certain night, he was brought back to reality by a sharp pain on his jaw, hissing involuntarily.

“Are you okay?” Sunoo’s head popped on the door frame, which Sunghoon had left opened.

“Yeah, I just cut myself a little.”

“Let me see.” Sunoo gently touched his neck, lifting his chin with his thumb, and took a closer look at the small line of blood growing on his jaw. He moved to the counter, opening the door and taking some ointment.

Sunghoon opened his mouth to protest, but the younger shushed him before he could say anything, so he just stood motionless as Sunoo cleaned the small area around the cut and applied some ointment on it.

He put it away and turned back to Sunghoon, extending his hand with his palm up. “Give me the razor.”

“Why?”

“You’ve been alone for two minutes, you’re a threat to yourself.”

Sunghoon wanted to protest again, but by the look on Sunoo’s face, he didn’t feel like he had much of a choice. “Fine.” He handed him the object.

Standing in front of Sunghoon, the younger started to climb on the counter, struggling a little on the process. Almost automatically, Sunghoon grabbed the back of his thighs and placed him on top of the counter in a swift move, making Sunoo gasp softly and bring a hand to his bare chest.

After a second, he removed it and cleared his throat. “Okay, stay still now.” Sunoo began to carefully slide the razor on his face.

The younger kept a slow pace — maybe too slow. It set a few butterflies in his stomach to notice him being so gentle Sunghoon could barely feel the blade on his skin. He could spend a whole hour there, loving the feeling of having Sunoo take care of him.

Focused on being motionless, Sunghoon suddenly realized he still had his hands on Sunoo’s thighs. The shorts he was wearing were so short, he couldn’t even see them underneath the hem of his oversized shirt — Sunghoon’s shirt. Sunoo hadn’t complained, but maybe it was too much to touch his skin on such a sensitive part.

The older subtly removed his hands and put them on the counter around him.

“Keep them,” Sunoo mumbled.

“What?”

“Keep your hands there.”

Sunghoon could only think of one interpretation for his request, but it didn’t make any sense. Sunoo had never asked him to touch him so blatantly before. He thought for another moment, but before he could get to a conclusion, Sunoo made a decision for him, grabbing his hands and placing them back on his thighs.

“It’s warm. Feels good.” The boy explained nonchalantly, already back at sliding the blade on his face.

Sunghoon was stunned, but Sunoo had done and said those things so casually, he didn’t want to overreact.

“I thought you didn’t like it,” Sunghoon commented.

“I don’t like it when you tickle me, but it feels nice like this,” Sunoo explained.

“Oh…” A light sparked in Sunghoon’s head. He tried to ignore it, but it was stronger than him. “You mean when I do this?” A smile crept on his lips as he softly slid his thumbs to his inner thighs.

Sunoo froze. “Yes.”

“I see.” Sunghoon stopped the motion, amused by his reaction.

As soon as the boy continued to shave his jawline, Sunghoon teasingly spread his fingertips around his thighs once again, attentively watching his expression.

Sunoo sighed and stared at him sternly. “Hyung, if you don’t stop—” he started, but Sunghoon interrupted him.

“What are you gonna do? Kiss me?” Sunghoon mocked, raising an eyebrow, but keeping his hands still.

“I might literally cut you,” he warned with a fire growing in his eyes.

“It’s hard to feel threatened when you look this cute,” he wasn’t even trying to contain his smile at this point.

“I have a blade up your neck, is that not threatening enough?”

“I don’t know, I kinda like it,” Sunghoon raised one eyebrow smugly.

Sunoo huffed and rolled his eyes.

It felt too good to annoy the younger. Sunghoon felt a rush through his body every time the boy answered back. Sunoo was about to bring the razor back to his face, giving up on the discussion, when Sunghoon suddenly continued to slide his hands on his thigh.

The younger took a deep breath. “We will actually be late if you don’t stop this.”

As much fun as Sunghoon was having, he didn’t want Sunoo to be genuinely mad at him. “Okay, fine. I’ll stop.”

“Also, you’re too far away.” Sunoo said right before spreading his legs, bringing a hand to his waist and pulling him closer.

The move was so sudden, Sunghoon felt his heart skip a beat. He was now holding his bare thighs while standing between his legs. He focused on not looking down; he would certainly lose it if he could actually see how close they were — feeling it was more than enough already. Having this much contact with Sunoo was a little overwhelming and he hoped he wasn’t letting it show.

Sunoo slid the blade on his jawline and cleaned it under running water in the sink, keeping his other hand on Sunghoon’s neck throughout the process. The older almost let his eyes shut at the feeling. The fingertips on his neck sparked another memory of their last kiss — one that was too dangerous to be remembered while they stood so close. He couldn’t let himself think about that then.

Sunghoon let his eyes wander back to Sunoo; the younger had a slight frown and a concentrated gaze where he ran the blade on his cheek. He looked so cute and touched Sunghoon so gently, the older started to feel overwhelmed by the loud beat of his heart. He felt the urge to say something, anything, just to fill the silence.

“You’re too slow,” Sunghoon complained weakly, still trying not to let it show how affected he was by the boy.

Sunoo sighed, now seeming almost mad. “And you talk too much.” He wrapped his legs around Sunghoon and pulled him closer by the hips without taking his hands from his face and his neck. Sunghoon was breathless for a moment, too aware of the dangerous proximity of their hips. “Stay still, now,” the younger warned with a low voice and a menacing stare.

Sunghoon went silent and looked away, nearly afraid to glance at Sunoo again. As much as he enjoyed teasing and annoying the boy, he felt entirely compelled to obey then. Perhaps he didn’t trust his own reactions when Sunoo acted and touched him so confidently.

After a few minutes of silence and avoiding Sunoo’s eyes, the younger gave a soft chuckle. “You’re so quiet now, what happened?” Sunghoon’s eyes still wouldn’t meet his, but he could feel a smirk in his voice.

“I thought you wanted me to stay still,” the older pointed out.

“I do, but I didn’t expect you to be so obedient,” he explained. “I like it, though. Continue to behave well like this and someone might actually kiss you tonight.”

Sunghoon looked at him at the wrong time, because right then the younger was staring into his eyes with a subtle smile on his lips. He felt the urge to run away from his gaze and moved his head a little to the side on the process.

The action backfired, as Sunoo grabbed his jawline and hastily pulled it back. “I’m not done with this side yet.”

“Okay,” Sunghoon muttered, unable to think straight and hearing the beat of his heart blast on his ears.

It wasn’t like he was scared of Sunoo. Rather, it was much worse — his tone did things to him and the older was starting to get desperate at trying to hide it.

He waited for what felt like an eternity while Sunoo finished removing all the shaving cream from his face and gently wiped the remnants with a towel.

“Now I’m done,” Sunoo said with a smile, completely different from his previous menacing aura.

Sunghoon almost sighed in relief. “Thanks.”

He backed away, but Sunoo pulled him right back.

“Wait, help me out. I’ve been here for too long, my legs are sticking to the counter.”

The last thing Sunghoon needed now was to touch Sunoo again, but he couldn’t just deny his request.

The same way he had put Sunoo on the counter, he brought his hands under his thighs and lifted him, but this time the boy put his arms around his neck and tightened his legs around his hips a bit. For a moment there, he could swear Sunoo was doing all that on purpose.

Still recovering, Sunghoon left for the bedroom to put on a shirt and blow dry his hair while Sunoo got his own towel and went back to the bathroom to shower.

Sunoo had been bold around him multiple times before but lately he seemed to be acting specially daring, almost as if he was actually trying to flirt with Sunghoon. As always, the older didn’t want to read into the lines of his behavior and look for something that wasn’t there, but Sunoo had been driving him crazy with all the things he’d been saying and doing.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it; that would be a long night.

Sunoo came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist as he dried his hair with a smaller one. He’d forgotten his phone on the counter in between the living room and the kitchen; he knew he could just grab it after changing, but he was in the mood to draw attention.

Sunghoon was fully dressed now, sitting on the couch and scrolling through his phone. Sunoo casually passed him by, walking toward the counter and not missing the way Sunghoon glanced at him with the corner of his eyes.

“Looking respectfully, right, hyung?” Sunoo asked, taking his phone.

“Yeah!” the older immediately replied, seeming startled. “I mean, no! I’m not— I wasn’t looking!” he corrected.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind if you do.” Sunoo gave him a sly smile before strolling back to the bedroom without waiting for his reply.

To watch Sunghoon go speechless for the third time that day was so satisfying, Sunoo smiled to himself. He questioned whether he had been teasing the older too much that day, but Sunghoon’s reactions were so fun to watch, he couldn’t help himself, and the way he stared at him sometimes only made Sunoo want to be bolder.

Sunoo changed into his cropped top and his black jeans, feeling a bit anxious to imagine how Sunghoon would react; what if he didn’t like it? or what if he simply didn’t notice it at all? Sunoo couldn’t tell which was worse. The older had never reacted negatively to any of his outfits — Sunoo could be wearing a potato sack and Sunghoon would still call him cute —, but he couldn’t help feeling self-conscious about an outfit he had put so much effort on.

Before going back to the living room, he went to the bathroom to fix his makeup; maybe it would help in the overall effect of the look. Not so unconsciously, he put extra effort into his lips, wearing his glossiest, tastiest lip gloss — raspberry pink. He went for a dark color of eye shadow on his lids and a thin line of glitter under his eyes. He sprayed a bit of Sunghoon’s perfume on his wrists and tapped them around his neck; he had forgotten to bring his own, but it didn’t matter — Sunghoon had told him once that his perfume smelled different on him, anyway.

Now all that was left to do was put on his shoes and leave for the party. He stared at himself in the mirror and took a deep breath. Even if nothing he had fantasized for the past weeks happened, even if he couldn’t find an opportunity to kiss Sunghoon again — whatever happened, he would have fun tonight.

Sunoo walked out of the bathroom to the living room, stopping a few meters away from Sunghoon, who was still on the same spot on the couch concentratedly scrolling down his phone.

“What do you think?” Sunoo asked.

Sunghoon glanced at him from his phone for a millisecond, then did a double take, widening his eyes a bit.

That was a good thing, right? He wanted to believe it was. Sunoo attentively watched his reaction, trying to figure it out. He felt a little nervous with the way Sunghoon stared at him, the way his eyes scanned his whole body, seeming to be taking in every detail. Suddenly, he was too aware of the line of exposed skin on his waist and questioned if the older would think that was too much.

Sunghoon was completely silent for a moment. It hadn’t been that long, but Sunoo needed an immediate answer.

“So? How is it?” Sunoo insisted.

“It’s good,” Sunghoon commented and swallowed slightly. “Black fits you really well.”

It wasn’t exactly the answer Sunoo was hoping to hear, but it was certainly better than silence or disapproval.

Sunghoon glanced at his waist, subtly licking his lips, and Sunoo felt his heart skip a beat. When his eyes shot up, Sunoo met his gaze, staring back just as intensely. If Sunghoon kept looking at him that way, he would certainly lose his mind before the end of the night.

Chapter Text

Sunghoon scrolled through his phone, checking the time every now and then. They still had a few minutes until the time scheduled to meet the guys at the club and they weren’t late, but Sunoo seemed to be taking longer than usual to get ready.

The older got distracted with something on the screen, so much that he barely noticed when Sunoo got out of the bathroom.

“What do you think?” Sunoo asked, standing a few meters away.

He glanced at the boy and suddenly felt like he’d been struck by lightning.

Sunoo stood there in a black cropped top and black jeans with a chain hanging around his hips; bare shoulders and a thin line of his waist exposed. Sunghoon could only stare speechless.

“So? How is it?” the boy asked again.

There were a hundred things he wanted to say then, yet not a single one of them came out. Sunoo deserved to know just how mesmerizing he looked, but maybe Sunghoon wasn’t brave enough to tell him yet.

“It’s good,” Sunghoon finally said and swallowed slightly. “Black fits you really well.”

His eyes moved back to his waist and he felt a spark in the pit of his stomach. The urge to put his hands on him, everywhere around that tiny waist. He imagined how beautiful it would look under his hold, with his fingertips sneaking under his shirt, spreading all over his skin and around his torso.

He unconsciously licked his lips and remembered he was still in front of Sunoo; he couldn’t just zone out, especially not with such dangerous thoughts in mind.

Sunghoon looked up and closely analyzed his face. Sunoo didn’t need makeup to look pretty, but the way he had done it enhanced all his traits so beautifully, the older was stunned again. The glitter under his eyes, the soft blush on his cheeks, it all looked amazing, but the pink on his mouth — the shade fit him just perfect, making his lips glossy and alluring. Sunoo looked so good, for a moment there he felt a little jealous that everyone at the club would get to see him like this.

There was something in the way Sunoo stared back at him that was a little unsettling, but so hypnotizing, Sunghoon struggled to look away.

“We should get going.” Sunghoon got up before he could let his thoughts wander any further.

“Yeah,” Sunoo agreed, still subtly gazing at him. “Let’s go before we’re late.”

When they got to the door, something else caught Sunghoon’s attention. On impulse, he approached the boy from his back and leaned in on his neck, inhaling his scent. He was hit by a sudden realization and felt his stomach twist — Sunoo was wearing his perfume. The boy had done it a few times before and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but there was something so enticing about it, almost as if he was marked by Sunghoon, the older felt his mind get dizzy for a moment and wondered if he was just imagining it.

“Are you… wearing my perfume?” He asked hesitantly, breathing close to his skin.

Sunoo, who seemed to be struck by the sudden proximity, swallowed almost imperceptibly and slightly turned his head toward him. “Uh… yeah. I forgot mine.”

Maybe this didn’t mean so much to Sunoo, but to Sunghoon — it awakened things inside him.

Their cheeks were nearly brushing and their lips would touch if only Sunghoon lifted his head a bit; he contained the urge to look down at his lips and glanced at him sideways, catching the younger gaze up at him with those witty foxy eyes, as someone who is hiding thoughts of his own.

The older chose to keep things to himself most of the time, but this night got him feeling bolder than usual.

“You should wear it more often. It smells good on you,” he told Sunoo.

The younger smiled and gave a low chuckle. “Okay, maybe I will.”

Once they got to the club, it didn’t take too long until the rest of the group arrived. They sat at a rectangle-shaped table with a couch that contoured three sides of it.

The place was large — bigger than most other clubs they had been to. The bar was located next to the area with two rows of tables with seats, where they stood; multiple round bar tables were scattered around the place, with a wide dance floor in the center. There were more tables on the second floor, which had a view to the rest of the club, and another staircase that probably led to private rooms. The whole place was well decorated and lowly lit with pink and blue lights, creating hues of purple.

Starting with light drinks, they only chattered in small groups for a while.

Sunghoon was talking to Heeseung and Jake, but couldn’t help briefly shifting his attention to the conversation of the younger boys when he heard his name being mentioned.

“Wow, you smell like Sunghoon.” Jungwon stood close to Sunoo and sniffed him softly right before drawing back with a frown. “Like, more than usual.”

“Well, I forgot my perfume.” Sunoo shrugged and Sunghoon could swear he saw a subtle smile on the corner of his lips, which Riki and Jungwon seemed to mirror.

He couldn’t be sure because he had only glanced at them with the corner of his eyes and was still stuck to his own conversation, not wanting to be rude to Jake, who was excitedly telling him and Heeseung about some topic he had already forgotten.

After a while, once there were considerably more people in the club, Sunoo, Jungwon and Riki left for the dance floor, leaving the older boys alone at the table.

“Things are going well, I assume,” Jay said with a sly smile once the trio was far enough.

“Yeah, I’d say they are,” Sunghoon replied, knowing what he was talking about.

“And how are things with your parents?”

Sunghoon sighed, not expecting the subject then. “Not so well. I don’t really have a choice at this point.”

Jay nodded understandingly. “When are you gonna tell him?”

Sunghoon glanced at the boy on the dance floor. He seemed so happy then, it broke Sunghoon’s heart to imagine himself be the one to put an end to his smile.

“Soon,” he replied. “But not today.”

He stared at Sunoo dancing from afar. The dance floor was large and there were more people coming in every minute, but the three had stayed close enough that they could see them from the table. Sunghoon could admire all the lines of Sunoo’s body from this distance, carefully watching the way the boy moved along the rhythm, the way his hips swayed and his shirt lifted with every motion.

Sunghoon continued to talk to the boys, casually glancing at Sunoo every now and then and catching the boy return a few of his stares.

The three came back a few minutes later, talking and laughing. Jungwon and Riki sat back down while Sunoo remained standing.

“Hyung, come dance with me,” Sunoo asked Sunghoon.

There was no reason to object, so the older got up and walked with him back to the dance floor. Sunoo held his hand, leading the way and taking him into the crowd.

The two stopped near the other side of the bar and Sunoo immediately went back to dancing. There were more people around now and they were farther from the table than the boys had been before; they couldn’t see their friends from this distance.

Sunoo was shining. He moved his hips and raised his arms mindlessly, as if he was dancing completely alone in his room. Sunghoon watched with adoration how pretty he looked then, smiling and giggling as the older held his hands and spun him around.

More people kept coming in and the space between them kept getting smaller. Despite how inevitable it was to touch other people in a place like this, Sunghoon made an effort not to put his hands directly on Sunoo’s waist and tried to ignore the urges in his head, but it got harder every second — they were too close and half of his torso was exposed then.

Sunghoon felt a sudden movement somewhere near them and quickly pulled Sunoo into his arms, turning them around so the younger wouldn’t be hit. Under the flashing lights and the loud music, it was hard to tell exactly what had happened, but someone had spilled their drink and Sunghoon now had one arm dripping wet with some sugary sticky liquid.

He realized he still had his other arm around Sunoo and a hand on his bare back, closely pressing the boy against him as the latter had his hands on his arm and his chest for support. Sunghoon loosened his grip and looked at him.

“Are you okay?” Sunghoon asked close to his ear, trying to make himself heard over the loud music.

“I… yeah. None of it got on me,” Sunoo replied, also close to his ear.

“I’ll go to the restroom to clean up, I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll help you!” He volunteered.

“It’s fine, it just got on my arm. I’ll be quick, stay here,” he said before leaving for the restroom, which wasn’t too far from where they stood.

The sticking drink was beginning to feel uncomfortable on his skin when he began washing it — thankfully it hadn’t gotten anywhere else on his clothes. Focused on the running water on the sink, he almost missed a familiar silhouette on the mirror, standing a couple meters away.

The figure seemed to have recognized him first, as he was already staring when Sunghoon saw him through the mirror. To look into his eyes after so long sparked a few emotions inside Sunghoon, but he wouldn’t let them show.

He considered ignoring him and leaving the restroom, but the guy didn’t seem like he would let him go without a talk. Sunghoon dried his arm, threw the paper towel away and turned back to face him.

“Yeonjun,” Sunghoon stated.

“Sunghoon,” the other boy returned with a malicious smirk creeping on his lips, like he was having fun with that encounter already. “Sunoo is here too, I assume?”

He had spoken only a few words, yet it was enough to have Sunghoon’s blood warming up.

“Why does it matter?” Sunghoon asked, keeping a straight face.

“Why am I asking? Of course he’s here,” Yeonjun scoffed to himself in a low voice. “Who knows? I might go say hi.” He raised one eyebrow and shrugged.

“He doesn’t want to see you.”

“You don’t speak for him.” The older said in disdain, getting closer and stopping in front of Sunghoon.

“He blocked you. That should speak for itself, don’t you think?”

“We both know damn well why he blocked me. He knows he’ll come back if I ask him to.” Yeonjun had a sly grin Sunghoon wanted to punch out of his face. “Is he even dating anyone right now? Not that it matters, but you know… It’s easier with less competition,” he chuckled.

Yeonjun wasn’t serious; he had no intention to get back with Sunoo. The older had broken his heart twice before — he was never serious about Sunoo and Sunghoon hated him for it. Yeonjun was most likely just trying to piss him off and Sunghoon was aware of it, but he was willing to get punched before letting him get anywhere near Sunoo that night.

“He is, actually,” Sunghoon lied on impulse.

“Oh?” Yeonjun raised his eyebrows, seeming genuinely surprised. “Who’s the lucky guy?” Sunghoon quickly tried to think of another lie to cover up, but Yeonjun didn’t give him time. “And don’t tell me it’s you,” he scoffed.

It was a hard blow on his pride, but it was also the perfect lie.

Sunghoon raised his head a bit. “What makes you think it’s not me?”

“You have always been too much of a coward to tell him,” he stared into his eyes with a daring look and the smile on his face wasn’t as sly as before. He didn’t seem to be just trying to mock Sunghoon — he was waiting for him to deny it.

That felt like a punch on his guts. As much as he despised Yeonjun, there was a part of him that believed in those words as well, but he couldn’t drop the act now.

Sunghoon looked Yeonjun in the eye, unwilling to back down. Sunoo was waiting for him outside and he was wasting time standing in the bathroom when he could have those sensuous hips back in his grasp. He turned away, walking past and leaving a casual pat on Yeonjun’s shoulder. “We’ll see who he goes home with tonight.”

When he came back, Sunoo was still in the same spot he’d left him, although he wasn’t dancing as much as before. Sunghoon approached him by bringing a hand to his covered back and turning him in a way the boy had his back to the restroom.

“Don’t look back now. Yeonjun is here,” Sunghoon spoke by his ear, holding him close and swaying them along the music. Sunoo briefly looked at him in distress before he continued. “I didn’t want him to bother you, so I sort of told him we were dating,” he explained a little hesitantly.

Sunoo’s eyes lit up. “Oh, that’s great. I think that’s enough to keep him away,” he said, seeming relieved.

“I don’t think he bought it, though.”

Sunoo just stared at him for a moment and Sunghoon tried to read his expression with no success, until the boy spoke again.

“Then let’s prove it to him,” he suggested, a subtle smile appearing on his face.

Sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows slightly, feeling a chill in his stomach from the way Sunoo stared at him. “How?”

“Is he looking now?”

The older could see Yeonjun with the corner of his eye now standing by the bar with a drink in hand, half turned to them. “Yeah.”

Sunoo ran his hands up his arms, reaching his neck and interlacing his fingers on his nape. The touch sent a shiver down Sunghoon’s spine.

The younger gazed at him with a strange glint in his eyes as he announced his plan.

“Kiss me.”

Sunghoon felt the beat of his heart accelerate, but he wasn’t nervous. Instead, his blood seemed to rush through his body, awakening feelings that had been repressed for too long at once.

It almost drove Sunghoon insane to hear the boy ask for such a thing.

Sunoo stared at him with a mischievous smile and the older felt his own lips curl into a smirk as some sort of silent understanding seemed to pass between them.

Without another word, they both gazed at each other’s mouths. Sunghoon licked his lips, anxious to find out what his pink gloss would taste like.

Sunoo slowly pulled him closer, lips parting with anticipation. When they finally connected, Sunghoon felt a thousand fireworks all over his body. He pulled Sunoo’s lower lip between his own, finding the awaited answer to his question. His gloss tasted like raspberry — or was it cherry? He was sure there was a difference, but he was in no condition to tell.

Their tongues met and they moved in sync, making up for the three weeks Sunghoon had tortured himself thinking about kissing those sweet lips again.

Having one of his hands on Sunoo’s covered back, Sunghoon brought another to his side over his shirt, still too aware of the skin exposed by the cropped top.

The boy immediately broke the kiss and leaned closer to his neck. He subtly grabbed one of his wrists and pushed it down, forcing Sunghoon to touch his skin.

“Be more convincing,” Sunoo spoke by his ear before softly nibbling his earlobe and pulling him in for another kiss.

With Sunoo’s consent and a heat pooling in his stomach, Sunghoon let his other hand fall to his waist, feeling his skin burn against his touch.

The boy let out a satisfied hum and ran one hand up and down his chest before moving it to his hair and tangling in his locks while the hand on his wrist slid up his arm and back to his nape.

As Sunoo pulled him closer and deepened the kiss, Sunghoon let his fingers spread on his back and tightly held his waist, rubbing circles with his thumb.

They kept a slow pace in between kisses and nibbles until Sunoo softly backed away and let his head fall closer to his ear.

“Kiss my neck,” he ordered.

Sunghoon responded with a light squeeze on his waist and immediately obeyed, trailing pecks down his jawline and his neck.

He looked up for a brief moment, without taking his lips off his skin, and found Yeonjun staring back with fuming eyes. If looks could kill, Sunghoon would be burning up under his gaze.

Something about making Sunoo’s ex jealous lit a fire inside him and he didn’t want to stop it. Sunghoon had been on the other side of this exchange before; he wouldn’t make it any easier for Yeonjun now. Keeping eye contact, he brought a hand to the back of Sunoo’s head and softly pulled it to the side, smirking and pressing another kiss on his skin.

Sunghoon slowly felt his inhibitions fade away. He pulled Sunoo’s waist closer, making the boy stand on his tiptoes and rely his weight against him. Pecks turned to kisses, kisses turned to bites and before he knew, he was licking and tasting his skin, hearing soft whimpers by his ear as he watched the fire burn in Yeonjun’s eyes.

The older quickly lost their silent staring contest, looking away and chugging a shot of his drink.

Seeing Yeonjun mad at him was good, but the feeling of having Sunoo under his hands was so much better, Sunghoon promptly turned his attention back to the boy.

The vaguely alcoholic taste of his own perfume on Sunoo’s neck was so enticing, Sunghoon involuntarily squeezed his waist. He ran his tongue from Sunoo’s collarbone to his jawline and nibbled his earlobe. The younger whined beside his ear — it was a little muffled by the music around them, but it was enough to rouse the heat in his body.

“More,” Sunoo whispered a little out of breath, sliding his arms around his neck and softly pulling his hair.

With every noise that came out of Sunoo’s lips, Sunghoon felt his sanity slowly fade away, but he was completely ready to give the boy whatever he asked for.

He continued to kiss and softly suck on his neck as one of his hands slipped under his shirt and the other firmly held his waist, keeping the boy close. His fingers traced up and down his spine, making him arch his back and press his chest against Sunghoon.

Despite the loud music, Sunghoon could notice him getting louder. Sunoo whimpered and hummed softly with almost every touch.

The older had barely drank anything at all, but he didn’t have to, not when Sunoo pressed against him like that. His scent, his touch, his body heat — Sunghoon was completely intoxicated.

Suddenly, he remembered the reason they had started that in the first place and looked up at where Yeonjun had been standing, finding him nowhere in sight. He could stay there another hour indulging Sunoo in everything he asked for, but it didn’t feel right to keep this from him. Reluctantly, Sunghoon pressed one last lingering kiss on his neck and leaned by his ear.

“He’s gone,” he breathed out by Sunoo’s ear, but refused to let go of the boy first.

A part of him wished with everything he had that Sunoo wouldn’t care about it, that he wanted to kiss Sunghoon just as much as Sunghoon wanted to kiss him, but he was ready to do whatever the boy asked for, even if that meant letting him go.

He barely had any time to think, however, as Sunoo responded before he could form another thought.

“Shut up,” the boy groaned and hastily brought their lips together once again.

There was not a single cell in Sunghoon’s body that could resist such an order. Sunoo’s tongue invaded his mouth, licking sinuously as if they’d done it a thousand times before, as if Sunoo knew by heart the way through his lips, his tongue and the roof of his mouth.

Sunghoon continued to roam his hands over his torso and across his spine, making the boy press closer against him. Sunoo’s waist fit so perfectly in his hands, it was like they were made for Sunghoon to hold.

The younger seemed almost desperate to keep him close as well, one hand behind Sunghoon’s head, tangled in his hair, and another sneaking down the collar of his shirt into his back.

He grazed his nails on his skin, stirring up the fire within Sunghoon. The older squeezed his waist and pressed the small of his back as he pushed his own hips forward, earning a muffled moan and a bite on his lower lip — it hurt, but it hurt so good Sunghoon wouldn’t mind if it made him bleed.

Sunghoon could still feel a bit of the taste of his lip gloss, but he wanted more. He nibbled and pulled his lower lip, feeling the younger gently tug on his hair.

As if all their proximity wasn’t enough, Sunoo continued to roll his body against him, setting his whole body on fire. With every touch of their hips, he let those pretty noises slip from his tongue right onto Sunghoon’s lips. The music around them was so loud, not a single person around them could hear it, but Sunghoon could feel it in his mouth.

The way Sunoo pressed against him was absolutely maddening and he knew the boy could feel it too; it made him a little crazy to think Sunoo was enjoying that as much as he was.

He couldn’t lose himself in the middle of the dance floor, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop either. Even running out of breath, he didn’t want to be the one to break the kiss.

Sunoo continued to kiss his mouth and grind against him until he suddenly came to a stop and rested against Sunghoon, lips right beside his ear, breathing heavily.

“Hyung,” he said out of breath, “let’s get out of here.”

“Okay,” was all Sunghoon could let out.

Sunoo didn’t waste another second, taking his hand and dragging him out of the dance floor. Sunghoon barely saw himself moving then, blindly following Sunoo and admiring the view of his back as the boy led them upstairs to a corridor with a sequence of doors — most likely private rooms for people who could afford it. Sunoo pulled him inside the first room he found half opened, finding it empty and clean. It wasn’t too big, but it definitely wasn’t available for free — two long comfortable couches and a coffee table, weak lighting in shades of blue and purple and simple but modern decoration. Sunoo closed the door and pushed Sunghoon against it, barely giving him time to react.

The older thought they probably shouldn’t be there, but the protest died in the back of his throat as soon as he felt Sunoo’s lips on his again.

The boy held his nape with both hands and rolled his body against him, keeping Sunghoon’s back glued to the door. Before he could process, his hands were wrapping around Sunoo, pulling him along his rhythm.

Now alone in the room, the distant sound of music wasn’t enough to cover up his noises anymore; Sunghoon felt intoxicated with each and every whimper that dripped from his lips.

At some point, he hastily turned them around and pushed Sunoo against the door instead, earning a moan inside his mouth.

He pushed his body forward, feeling Sunoo grind back just as eager. Somehow they had gotten tangled along the way and he now had one leg between Sunoo’s, holding his back to support him. He felt the boy move against him and pushed his body forward to meet his thrusts, desperate to get rid of any space between them.

They continued to move in a steady but needy pace, whimpering and nibbling each other’s lips, until Sunoo slowed down and let go of the kiss.

“Hyung,” he softly breathed against his lips, “touch me.”

Sunghoon had his hands all over his torso; he wondered what else the boy could wish for.

“Where?” He attentively waited for his answer.

For a moment, Sunoo just stared at him with a strange kind of longing.

“You know where,” the boy said in a low voice.

Sunghoon’s breath hitched in his throat. He only gazed into Sunoo’s eyes, questioning if he had heard him right. The way Sunoo touched him, the way he had asked for his touch, the way he stared at him then — all these things made it obvious, but Sunghoon couldn’t bring himself to believe it.

Sunoo seemed to have noticed the doubt in his eyes; he slowly slid his left hand down his arm until it reached Sunghoon’s right hand and carefully guided it to his abdomen.

Lips softly grazing against each other’s, Sunghoon waited as Sunoo pushed his hand down, stopping dangerously close to his waistband. Sunghoon’s breath was stuck; he was scared of making any wrong move, but with every second, it got harder to think.

“Is this okay?” Sunoo whispered, now staring down at his lips.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon breathed out and swallowed, heart beating out of his chest.

Sunoo’s hand continued to guide him farther down, but much slower than before, as if he was scared of letting the older know what he really wanted.

When Sunghoon’s hand finally landed on the bulge of his pants, he let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. To think he had been the one to cause that made his mind dizzy. He softly squeezed him and received a whimper in response.

Sunoo was lightly shaking now and his eyes seemed a little nervous, completely different from the confident gaze he had before. Sunghoon wanted to make him feel safe, to treat him as he deserved. Despite being nervous himself, he felt a wave of courage take over him. For him.

“Hey,” Sunghoon softly called. “It’s okay, it’s just me.” He brought his other hand to Sunoo’s chin and raised it slightly, making him look in his eyes again. “I’m gonna kiss you now. Tell me to stop, okay?”

“Okay,” Sunoo replied as his eyes glinted at the older boy.

Sunghoon lightly pressed their lips together. Sunoo responded and let his lips part, silently allowing the older to come in. He wasn’t as eager as he’d been before, moving slowly and letting Sunghoon lead him in every move.

When the older noticed he had relaxed a bit more, he moved his hand again, gently massaging and running his fingers over the fabric of his pants.

Sunoo whimpered softly against his mouth and pushed his hips forward, trying to meet his touch. He brought his hands to Sunghoon’s arms, as if looking for support.

Sunghoon knew it felt good then, but it would easily get uncomfortable soon. Without breaking the kiss, he slid his other hand down and started working on unbuttoning Sunoo’s jeans. The younger squeezed his arms, but didn’t show any sign of objection.

Sunghoon slowly unzipped and pulled his jeans a few centimeters down, letting his hands wander around the boy’s hips over the fabric of his underwear. He would be lying if he said he had never imagined himself doing that, but his imagination was no comparison to reality. He played with the waistband for a moment and ran his knuckles over Sunoo’s erection, earning a moan muffled by their kiss and loving the vibration it made in his mouth.

He firmly held Sunoo’s hips with his left hand and slipped his right inside his boxers, making the younger back away from the kiss with a gasp.

Sunghoon touched him gently, rubbing him up and down in a slow motion, and feeling him subtly roll his hips forward to meet his touch.

The older stared mesmerized as Sunoo softly furrowed his eyebrows and fluttered his eyes shut, whimpers falling out of his mouth. His parted lips looked so pretty, Sunghoon couldn’t resist it — he softly pecked and nipped his lower lip, pulling it between his teeth. The boy barely responded, only gripping his arms and moving his hips along Sunghoon’s rhythm, but the older loved the sight.

“Hyung…” Sunoo breathed out after a few minutes. “It’s hurting.” He made a pained expression and squeezed his arms, but didn’t try to move out of Sunghoon’s hands.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Sunghoon cooed, placing a peck on his lips and immediately releasing him.

As soon as he took his hand out of Sunoo’s boxers, however, the younger tightly grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t stop,” he whispered and stared up at him with pleading eyes.

Sunghoon felt his heart skip a beat. To have Sunoo ask for his touch and look at him like that was nothing short of maddening.

“I won’t,” the older said. “I’ll just make it feel better.” He pecked his lips again.

“Okay.” Sunoo released his wrist and Sunghoon didn’t waste another second before moving his hand to each side of his hips, gently pulling his boxers down.

He left a trail of pecks from Sunoo’s lips to his cheek, his jawline and down his neck. He kissed Sunoo’s collarbone, pulling up his shirt, and slid down his body, grazing his lips in wet kisses from his chest to his belly. As he sank farther down, Sunoo let his hands slither up his arms, bringing one to his shoulder and another to his hair.

Sunghoon was now on his knees, holding each side of Sunoo’s bare hips. He licked his lips and squeezed his skin in anticipation, but before he could put his mouth on him, Sunoo softly pushed him away.

“Hyung, you don’t have to do this,” the boy said, breathing heavily.

Sunghoon looked up and met his gaze. Sunoo stared at him through heavy lidded eyes; his lips were swollen and his cheeks were flushed. Despite his words, Sunghoon could tell the boy craved it just as much as he did.

“I want to,” Sunghoon breathed out, dangerously close to his crotch.

Sunoo’s eyes seemed to gleam. He brought a hand to Sunghoon’s cheek and slowly ran his thumb on his lips. His eyes carefully analyzed Sunghoon’s face, seeming to take in each and every trait.

Being in Sunoo’s hands like this, under his piercing gaze, there was nothing else Sunghoon could wish for. For the first time in his life, he was sure Sunoo wanted him. He could feel the desire in his eyes, in his touch, in the way his fingertips tangled in his locks and slowly pulled him closer.

Sunoo wanted him, even if only for that moment, and Sunghoon was willing to give him everything.

Staring deep in his eyes, Sunghoon let his jaw drop open as Sunoo pulled his head closer. As soon as his tongue met his tip, Sunghoon closed his lips around him, hearing Sunoo whine and throw his head back against the door.

The boy seemed to have completely lost his strength then, merely holding onto his shoulder and grasping his hair, but not pulling him any closer. Sunghoon shut his lids and pushed his head farther, bobbing it back and forth and building up from a slow to a steady pace.

With his eyes closed, he couldn’t see the way Sunoo stared at him then — couldn’t see the way he dazedly gazed down at him and pulled his own lip between his teeth. He could only hear the boy whimpering softly, as if trying to contain his noises, yet it was enough to stir the heat in his stomach.

He quickened the pace and Sunoo whined a bit louder, but Sunghoon wanted to hear more. He could tell the boy was holding back, keeping his hips in place and softly gripping his hair; it warmed his chest to feel Sunoo be so gentle, but he wanted to be used. He was desperate to have Sunoo tug on his hair and push and pull his head however he wished.

With his hands on his sides, he swiftly yanked Sunoo’s hips forward and felt him hit the back of his throat. It was slightly uncomfortable, but the noise that spilled from Sunoo’s mouth then made it all so worth it. Sunghoon continued the new pace — rougher and faster —, feeling his eyes well up with tears. He was determined to make this a night Sunoo would never forget, and if that involved listening to his pretty and now unrestricted moans, that was just luck.

At some point, Sunoo had tightened his grip on his hair and had started to move his hips along his rhythm. Sunghoon loved the feeling, despite how overwhelming it all felt.

“I’m close,” Sunoo whined. The younger then seemed to realize something and slowed down his pace. “Hyung, wait—” he interrupted himself with another moan when Sunghoon pushed his head farther, taking him all the way.

Sunghoon gripped tighter on his hips and kept the harsh pace as he felt tears stream down his cheeks.

The boy came with a long dragged moan; Sunghoon wanted to engrave it in his mind. His entire body seemed to burn when he felt Sunoo’s release in his mouth, proud to know he had been the cause of it. He softly ran his hands down his thighs and quickly tried to swallow as much as he could, feeling a little spill to his lips.

As soon as he pulled back, Sunoo clutched his shirt and picked him up, hungrily kissing him again. The older barely had time to think and automatically brought his hands to his waist, squeezing it and pulling him closer. The boy seemed almost desperate, licking into his mouth as if he couldn’t get enough of Sunghoon’s mouth.

Only then Sunghoon remembered he had a problem of his own, which he had managed to ignore until then simply by being too focused on pleasing Sunoo. It was becoming more and more painful with every second and the way the boy kissed him then didn’t help at all, but he didn’t want to stop him.

All his thoughts seemed to vanish, however, when Sunoo dragged his hands all the way from his chest to his abs, ignoring the waistband of his jeans and going straight for his crotch. Sunghoon automatically jerked his hips forward and whimpered softly. He could tell the younger was in a rush from the way his hands impatiently unfastened his belt and pushed his pants and his boxers down together.

Sunoo held his length and pressed his thumb on the leaking tip. Sunghoon moaned inside his mouth and felt the boy smirk against his lips. The younger knew what he was doing and it drove him insane. Sunoo stroked him all the way up, letting the trickle spread in his hand, and back down again. He kept a steady but rough rhythm, roaming his other hand under his shirt and kissing his mouth as if his life depended on it.

The feeling was so good, Sunghoon was falling behind his pace. The younger pulled his lip and bit it a little too hard, but Sunghoon was too long gone to care about the pain. Sunoo nipped along his jawline until he reached his earlobe, giving it a nibble.

“It’s your turn, hyung,” he whispered and Sunghoon didn’t have to look to know he was smiling.

Sunghoon was too disconcerted to speak. He only understood what Sunoo meant when he suddenly dropped to his knees.

“Wait—” Sunghoon said, but it was too late. He could barely suppress the moan that spilled from his lips when Sunoo took him inside his mouth.

He brought his hands to Sunoo’s shoulders, attempting to push him away, but failing to do so — the feeling of his mouth was so bewitching, Sunghoon didn’t have the strength to stop him, and Sunoo didn’t seem willing to let go either. Afraid to hurt him, the older moved his hands to the door for support, watching as Sunoo closed his eyes and focused on the task.

One of his hands ran up and down his thigh, slowly grazing his nails on his skin, while the other held his length, keeping it in place as he worked his mouth around him.

Differently from Sunghoon, who had built up from a slow steady pace, Sunoo seemed to be trying to take all he could at once. He pressed open mouth kisses along the shaft until he reached the tip, where he swirled and flicked his tongue tormentingly slow. He immediately let his jaw drop and pushed his head so far Sunghoon felt the back of his throat, then bobbed back and forth a few times before pulling away and dragging his tongue all the way out.

The sight was absolutely sinful; Sunghoon could only watch mesmerized, too overwhelmed to control the whimpers and groans that slipped from his mouth. It all felt so good, he wished it would never end, but he knew that if Sunoo continued that pace, things would be over embarrassingly fast.

“Sunoo…” Sunghoon breathed out, bringing a hand to softly rest on the back of his head. “Slow down. Please.”

The younger opened his eyes and looked up at him, slowly pulling away and making a wet sound at the end. There was a mischievous smile on his lips and a feral gaze in his eyes; Sunghoon had never been stared at that way, and to feel Sunoo of all people look at him like that had his mind dizzy with want.

“Show me how you like it, then,” the younger said daringly.

As if all the heat in his body wasn’t enough, Sunoo’s words seemed to burn what was left of his sanity. He was still scared of hurting the boy, but he couldn’t resist the offer.

Breathing heavily, he experimentally pulled Sunoo’s head forward. The younger spread his lips wide open and stuck the tip of his tongue out, keeping eye contact. He brought both hands to his thighs and gripped them softly.

Now having full control, Sunghoon slowly built the pace, trying to not make it too hard for him, but Sunoo didn’t seem to have any problem with it. The boy shut his eyes and obediently slid back and forth along his pace, taking it so well Sunghoon felt his chest grow warm for a moment.

It didn’t take too long until Sunghoon started to become needier; the more he had, the more he wanted.

He didn’t want to ask for it — Sunoo was being so good to him already—, but he was becoming desperate and had little shame left at this point.

He gently pulled Sunoo’s hair until his mouth was free again, giving him time to breathe. “Can you take more?”

“Yeah,” Sunoo immediately breathed out, nodding eagerly.

“Push me away if it’s too much, okay?”

“Okay,” he said and promptly took Sunghoon in his mouth again.

Sunghoon sped up the pace until it felt good enough. He stayed attentive to Sunoo, in case the boy tried to push him away, but he only seemed to grip his thighs tighter.

It must have been a little overwhelming for him, anyway, as he had started to hum and moan softly around Sunghoon. The feeling was so sinful, it took everything in him not to thrust his hips forward. However, bit by bit, he was losing his senses and it became more of a challenge to keep his body still; before he could stop himself, his hips rolled forward in a subtle but constant motion, meeting the pace of Sunoo’s head.

Sunghoon tried to keep his noises low before, but now whimpers dripped from his mouth without a care; on that rhythm, he knew he wouldn’t last long.

“I’m close,” he said, breathing heavily and loosening the grip on his hair. “You can stop now.”

But Sunoo only sank his nails on the back of his thighs, keeping the same rough pace he had built. He knew what the boy was asking for and it made his knees weak just to think about it.

“Sunoo…” he whispered, feeling his hips move on their own.

Abruptly, Sunoo pushed his head forward so hard, Sunghoon began seeing stars. One, two, three times — it was all it took. Sunoo was clearly trying to swallow and keep it all in his mouth, but there was only so much his tiny mouth could take; he pulled back coughing and gasping for air, trickle drooling from his lips. The sight was incredibly alluring, but the older was too concerned to think about it then. Had he gone too far?

Sunghoon pulled him up again and gently wiped his chin with his thumb. He then noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks and used the clean side of his hand to wipe them away.

“Are you okay?” Sunghoon asked worriedly.

Sunoo licked his lips and swallowed, leaning his back against the door. “Yeah,” he nodded softly.

Once Sunghoon came down from his high, the realization started to kick in. Everything he had done with Sunoo that night passed before his eyes and he felt like going a little insane. It all felt amazing until a few minutes before, but what would happen to them now?

Sunghoon looked at the boy in front of him, who stared back just as mesmerized. Then, he saw a smile creeping on his lips — that cute sweet smile, as if he was laughing at some silly joke Sunghoon had told. The older found himself smiling back and, before he knew, they were both laughing and giggling.

“Fuck, Sunoo,” Sunghoon let his head fall forward and rested his forehead on his shoulder, softly holding his waist. “I didn’t know you had that in you.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, hyung,” he replied playfully, caressing his hair.

Sunghoon suddenly thought of something and it felt like the perfect opportunity to say it. “Told you I’d kiss someone tonight,” he smiled and Sunoo threw his head back laughing, softly hitting the door.

They were in silence for a few seconds, still recovering and processing what they had done. Sunghoon had been so scared once he realized it, but it wasn’t awkward like he thought it would be. Instead, it felt so right — as right as making out in a private room of a random club can feel. With his hands on his waist and Sunoo’s fingertips on his hair, he wanted to stay there and melt into his embrace forever.

“Hyung…” Sunoo took him out of his trance.

“Yeah?”

“We’re still naked,” he pointed out.

Sunghoon had forgotten about that part.

“Oh… Yeah.”

Once they had recovered and got dressed again, Sunoo pulled him closer and brought his hands to his head. “Come here, your hair is a mess.”

Sunghoon only stared at the boy as he carefully fixed the mess he had done himself a few minutes before.

“Let’s go back before the guys notice.” The older said and they left the room hand in hand.

Chapter Text

After leaving the private room, Sunghoon and Sunoo quickly cleaned up in the restroom and went back to their table, where Heeseung, Jungwon and Riki stood.

“Where have you two been?” Heeseung asked, seeming more curious than worried.

“We, uh…” Sunghoon started, but was interrupted by Jay and Jake showing up behind them, both with a drink in each hand.

As they sat down beside their boyfriends, Sunoo rapidly continued. “We ran into Yeonjun. I mean, Sunghoon saw him in the restroom, so we spent some time around the club avoiding him.”

“Oh, he’s here?” Jungwon furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance.

“We can go somewhere else if you want,” Jay suggested. “There are other clubs nearby.”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t think he’s gonna bother me if I’m with you guys,” Sunoo argued and they all nodded.

Sunghoon brought a hand to Sunoo’s exposed waist and leaned by his ear. “I’m gonna get us a drink. Stay here, okay?” He spoke in a low voice.

“Okay,” he replied with a subtle smile, feeling too shy to look directly at him.

The older let his touch linger for a second before leaving and Sunoo already felt giddy with anticipation.

He sat down across Jay and Jungwon and they continued to chatter about random topics. Sunghoon soon came back with a drink and confidently took the seat next to him, bodies so close, their thighs were touching.

The two acted so normal, not even Sunoo would be able to tell they were making out and going all over each other’s bodies a few minutes before had he not been there himself.

After a couple minutes, as he distractedly talked to the boys, a hand slowly slithered around his back and softly grasped his waist. It sent a shiver down his spine, but he didn’t let it show. The older knew what he was doing and Sunoo wouldn’t let him get away with it; subtly, he let his hands slide over Sunghoon’s thigh under the table, where no one could see. The older lightly squeezed his waist and Sunoo reciprocated the touch, feeling his muscle tense under his fingertips.

At some point, Riki, Jake and Heeseung got up to dance, leaving the four alone. Jungwon was all giggly, leaning into Jay and whispering things in his ear as the older smiled fondly, whispering back at him. They were already stuck in their own world, completely ignoring the two people on the other side of the table.

Without the rest of the group to talk to them, Sunoo was suddenly too aware of Sunghoon’s presence beside him, unsure of what to say or do to fill the silence.

“How is the drink?” Sunghoon asked, leaning closer and taking him out of his internal conflict.

“It’s good.” Sunoo turned his head to look at him. “Wanna try?”

Sunghoon stared at his lips through heavy lidded eyes. “Yeah.”

Sunoo brought the glass to his own mouth first, letting the tip of his tongue touch the rim before his lips.

After taking a sip, he wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb, aware that Sunghoon was closely watching him.

“Try it.” Sunoo offered him the cup.

Instead of taking it from his hand, Sunghoon held the glass over his fingers, bringing his lips to the spot marked by the remnants of his raspberry gloss.

Now it was Sunoo’s turn to watch and did he love the sight of it — loved the touch of Sunghoon’s hand over his, the way his head was slightly thrown back, the way his jaw slackened with every sip and his throat bobbed up and down, tasting the same flavor Sunoo had in his mouth. Heat ran through his body at the thought that they would taste the same if he kissed him then.

When Sunghoon let go of the glass, Sunoo could see his lips still glistening with the liquid. He could’ve kissed him right then and there if he wasn’t so conscious of their friends’ presence.

Instead of letting his urges take over, he redirected his attention back to the glass, once again drinking from the same spot. He drained the cup, taking it all in as if he was drinking straight from Sunghoon’s lips. By the last gulp, the feeling had become so overwhelming he involuntarily squeezed Sunghoon’s thigh and felt him squeeze his waist in response.

Sunoo put the glass back on the table, catching his breath and trying to contain the heat pooling in his stomach. He wasn’t a lightweight, but he could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks.

Sunghoon gently touched his face and pulled his chin, making him look at him.

“Your mouth is too small to take it all at once,” he said as he wiped his lips and the droplet that had dribbled down his chin, an obvious allusion in his tone.

Sunghoon’s gaze was so strong, it sent butterflies all over his stomach. Sunoo’s eyes moved on their own to stare at his lips and he felt himself being drawn closer.

He glanced at the other side of the table and found Jungwon almost sitting on Jay’s lap as the two kissed without a care of their surroundings. They wouldn’t notice if he kissed Sunghoon then, right?

When his eyes moved back to Sunghoon, the older had also taken a quick glance at the other two boys. His gaze at Sunoo carried a mischievous glint, as if he knew exactly what the younger was thinking; as if telling him ‘they won’t see us now’.

Without a word, the two slowly leaned closer, gazes shifting between eyes and lips and rapid heartbeats synchronizing. They were so close, Sunoo could feel the vaguely sweet scent of their drink in Sunghoon’s breath.

Just a little closer , Sunoo thought. Just a kiss .

“Guys, look who I found!” Riki appeared by the table, making all four of them stop and stare at him.

Sunoo instantly backed away from Sunghoon, but the older kept the hand on his waist the same way Sunoo kept the touch on his thigh.

“Hey, guys.” Beomgyu said, shyly waving at them.

Riki had an arm around him. “He told me he came alone, so I brought him to stay with us.”

“Is that okay…?”

“Sure, you don’t even have to ask!” Sunghoon told him.

He and Sunoo slid to the other seats of the couch to give them space. Beomgyu had only seen the rest of the group a few times since Sunoo met him, as they all went to the same college and the boys still went to the café where he worked sometimes, but he opened up in no time.

Eventually, Jake and Heeseung came back and the latter happily spent half the night talking to Beomgyu as if they were best friends who hadn’t seen each other in 10 years.

The tension Sunoo had been feeling faded away as they got distracted talking and laughing, but as Sunghoon gripped and rubbed his waist throughout the night, there remained a disquieting feeling in the back of his mind and deep in his stomach.

It was a little past 1 am when they got back to Sunghoon’s apartment. Everyone else had decided to stay a while longer, but the only thing Sunoo wanted then was to be alone with Sunghoon again. The older seemed to want the same — as soon as Sunoo mentioned being sleepy, he was quick to say maybe it was time for them to go home.

The ride on the way back went as usual, with Sunoo clinging to Sunghoon’s arm and them talking and giggling about anything that came to mind, but there was an unspoken tension in the air and Sunoo wasn’t sure how much longer he was willing to ignore it.

As soon as they stepped into the apartment and Sunghoon locked the door, the silence seemed to become unbearably loud.

“I’m gonna shower first,” Sunoo announced on impulse, taking off his shoes, and walking inside without waiting for Sunghoon.

He quickly got some clothes from his bag, another one of Sunghoon’s shirts — a plain black one — and a towel and went to the bathroom.

Under the running hot water, his thoughts wandered uncontrollably. His mind was filled with Sunghoon, filled with everything they had done that night. He remembered his hands over his body, his grip on his waist and his fingers on his spine; remembered the feeling of Sunghoon’s kisses on his lips and neck; his breath against his skin and the warmth of his mouth around him. He shuddered at the thought.

Sunoo was used to hot showers, but suddenly the water seemed to be burning him alive. He lowered the heat and tried to ignore those thoughts with no success — each time he felt his own hands on himself, he couldn’t help imagining Sunghoon’s instead.

His fingertips slowly moved up his torso through the foam, one hand climbing up to his neck while the other slid across his abdomen. His eyes were closed shut now and his breath was unsteady as he ran a hand on his thigh and tempted himself to let his hand wander farther, but before he could indulge in it, he reminded himself that Sunghoon was still somewhere outside that door waiting for his turn to shower, and the longer Sunoo stayed there, the longer he would have to wait to be in the same room with him again.

With that in mind, he finished showering and brushed his teeth as quickly as possible.

As soon as he got in the room, Sunghoon walked past him and went straight to the bathroom. Sunoo sat on his side of the bed and got his phone. He scrolled on YouTube not paying any attention to the content on the screen.

Back in the club, he had been strangely confident in flirting with Sunghoon for most of the night, but at that moment, the thought of being alone in the same bed as him was enough to make him nervous and fidgety.

It’s not like he didn’t want it — in fact, to be so close to Sunghoon alone in the dark was everything he had been wishing for all night and his imagination was filled with all the things that could happen between them.

He tried not to think of consequences then. It was a bit too late for that anyway, and neither of them seemed to be awkward about what they did at the club, despite the obvious sexual tension.

Sunoo was still distracted with his thoughts, mindlessly moving his finger along the screen when Sunghoon came back to the room and closed the door behind himself. In a quick glance, Sunoo noticed the older wore a white tank top and pajama shorts that reached a bit above his knees.

Sunghoon turned off the light switch, making the lamp on Sunoo’s nightstand the only source of light beside his phone.

“What are you doing?” he asked, coming toward the bed.

Sunoo’s heart jumped and he automatically clicked on the first video he saw. “Uh, just watching a video.”

“What about?”

Sunoo quickly read the title and mentally sighed in relief. “A compilation of cute puppies.”

The older smiled and sat next to him on the bed, legs outstretched, getting closer and bringing one arm around his shoulders. Sunoo fit himself into the embrace and rested his head on his shoulder, keeping the phone in front of them so they could both watch the video.

They stayed like that for a while. It was soothing and comfortable, despite the restlessness in the back of his mind; Sunoo still wanted to do other things, but a part of him wouldn’t mind if that was all they did all night.

“Sunoo…” Sunghoon softly called.

“Hm?” The younger replied, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“What we did today…” he continued, and Sunoo felt his heart stop for a moment. “It’s not gonna change anything… right?”

Sunoo paused the video and turned his head, meeting Sunghoon’s gaze. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just… You’re my best friend and I wouldn’t want things to be awkward between us,” he explained. “We didn’t make a mistake, did we?” His eyes wavered and Sunoo could hear the apprehension in his voice.

For a second, Sunoo’s heart quivered too. Was it a mistake?

But the answer was clear enough to him.

“No, of course not,” Sunoo spoke decidedly. “Unless… you think it was a mistake.”

“No!” Sunghoon was quick to deny. “No, I don’t. I was just afraid because you mean so much to me and I wouldn’t want to lose what we have because of something we did when we weren’t thinking straight.”

“I understand what you mean, hyung, but I was completely sober back then. I know I might have been a little impulsive, but I knew what I was doing.”

Sunghoon looked away. “So… you don’t regret it?” He glanced at Sunoo sideways and the younger could tell he still needed reassurance.

“Hyung… I could never regret you,” he said with all sincerity in his heart and Sunghoon turned his head again, now looking at him with soft eyes. Suddenly, the energy in the room seemed to change; the silence was loud and Sunghoon’s gaze was overwhelming. Sunoo averted his eyes and gave in to the urge to speak the first thing that came to his mind. “Also, that was, like, the best make out session I’ve ever had,” he spoke in a low voice.

“What?” Sunghoon jumped and widened his eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Sunoo was already starting to regret his words, but he still preferred this to the way Sunghoon stared at him before.

“I was the best make out you’ve ever had?” he pointed to himself with a dumb grin on his face.

The younger only pressed his lips into a thin line, looking anywhere but at him.

“Wow.” Sunghoon fell back on the pillow, seeming to still be processing what Sunoo had told him, and then sat up again. “Let’s go back to the club. I need Yeonjun to hear about this.”

Sunoo laughed out loud and let his head fall forward, hiding his face in his hands. “Ah, stop! This is so embarrassing. I knew I shouldn’t have told you.”

“But you already said it! You can’t take it back now!” Sunghoon pointed out childishly.

Sunoo let his hands drop to his lap and his head fall back on Sunghoon’s arm on the pillow. “You see? You don’t have to worry about things getting awkward, you clearly wouldn’t let that happen.”

“Yeah, I know. But I was more worried about how you felt,” his triumphant smile had subsided and Sunoo could hear an echo of that insecure boy still in his voice. “What if you thought it was too weird and didn’t want to be around me anymore?”

“Sunghoon, we just kissed and fooled around. I can assure you it’s gonna take something much worse than that to make me not want to see you anymore,” Sunoo reassured him. “There are friends who do that all the time, some even say kissing makes your friendship stronger,” he chuckled, not noticing the suggestive tone his statement carried.

The older just stared at him, seeming to be taking in his words.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Of course I am!”

“No, I mean, are you sure that kissing could make our friendship stronger?”

Sunoo was a little taken back, but recovered quickly. “Yeah, I think so,” he said, and his next words naturally rolled off his tongue, this time completely aware of the implications. “Wanna try?”

“Yeah,” Sunghoon instantly replied with a glint in his eyes. “You know… to strengthen the friendship,” he casually added as if that was a perfectly reasonable argument.

“Right, for the friendship,” he nodded, seeming convinced of Sunghoon’s logic.

Sunoo swallowed and felt his heart beat faster. He didn’t dwell on how stupid that excuse was — as long as Sunghoon didn’t question it, he wouldn’t either. It didn’t matter that they had spent all that time kissing at the club, he wouldn’t miss the opportunity to do it again.

He slightly shifted his position so that his body was facing the older. His gaze moved to his lips and he felt himself being drawn closer. With his eyes closed and his hands on Sunghoon’s shoulders for support, he landed a soft peck on his lips.

The kiss was chaste and sweet. If the kisses they had shared that night lit up the heat in his body, this one set a thousand butterflies in his stomach. He let it linger, but resisted the urge to go any further, and when they parted, he rested his forehead against Sunghoon’s, unable to give up the proximity so soon.

“Did it work?” Sunoo whispered.

“I don’t know, I might need to try again,” Sunghoon muttered, eyes fixed on his lips.

“Yeah, me too,” he felt a little dizzy already.

Sunoo licked his own lips, watching Sunghoon do the same, and didn’t waste another second before diving back into the kiss. This time, he let himself melt into it. His hands moved on their own, climbing to Sunghoon’s neck and caressing his cheek with his thumb.

They easily found a steady rhythm, moving their heads and lips in sync, tongues meeting in the middle. The feeling of Sunghoon’s mouth wasn’t new anymore — they had kissed enough times that Sunoo knew the way through his mouth, but it never seemed to be enough.

Sunghoon brought his hands to his waist, rubbing circles over his shirt and slowly pulling him closer. Sunoo already felt slightly out of breath and backed away from the kiss for a moment.

“Is it working?” He asked, panting softly.

“It’s working,” Sunghoon replied, nodding fast. He didn’t give Sunoo time to respond, holding his nape and hastily pulling him in again.

They were speaking nonsense and Sunoo knew it, but he had been lost in the meaning of words ever since their lips had touched again that night. All that mattered was that Sunghoon wanted this — wanted him — just as much as he did.

Sunoo leaned closer, pushing him farther into the pillow. It was getting hard to support himself; without breaking the kiss, he slowly began to climb on Sunghoon, hands firmly holding onto his shoulders. The older promptly held his thigh, fingertips digging into his skin, and guided him to straddle his lap, pulling him closer.

His fingers ran up and down his thigh, burning against his skin, as his other hand slipped under his shirt and brushed its knuckles on his belly — the light touch sent a shiver down his spine. Sunoo let out a satisfied whimper and felt Sunghoon squeeze his leg in response. His hand continued to roam around his torso, eventually turning into a firm grip on his waist.

For a moment, Sunghoon slowed down the pace of the kiss and slid his body down the mattress bringing Sunoo along, in a way he was now half-lying on the bed with the younger hovering over him.

Their kisses started to become needier, as did their hands on each other’s bodies. Sunoo supported himself on his shoulder while his other hand slid down to his exposed arm, fingertips caressing, scraping and squeezing his muscles.

Sunoo let his legs spread a bit wider on the bed until their lower bodies were touching and the contact sent a wave of pleasure through his body — he could feel Sunghoon wanted this just as much as he did. His body started moving on its own, slowly grinding against the older as he whimpered against his lips.

Sunghoon responded with soft hums and not so gentle pinches on his waist and his thigh.

The hand on his thigh slowly climbed up his leg and slipped under the hem of his shorts — exactly the way Sunoo intended when he chose to wear his shortest pair that night.

After a while, his legs were becoming tired, but the feeling was too good to stop. Supporting himself on Sunghoon’s chest, Sunoo shifted his position a little and focused on moving his hips in a circular motion instead, earning a low groan in his mouth.

A bit more comfortable now, the younger worked on the new pace and slowed down the kiss, nibbling and licking his lips. He trailed pecks along his jawline and Sunghoon let his head fall back, giving him more space as he pressed open mouth kisses on his neck.

Sunoo gently sucked and licked his skin, indulging in the gasps that fell from Sunghoon’s lips. He could feel the older getting more eager — it showed in the way he dragged his hand over the fabric of his shorts and pushed his shirt up, exposing his skin as he ran his fingers on his back.

“Ah, Sunoo…” Sunghoon called in a whimper.

The younger realized he loved the sound of his name when it came from Sunghoon’s lips.

“What is it, hyung?” he spoke in a low voice next to his ear, never stopping the motion of his hips. Sunghoon didn’t reply, only whimpering softly in response. “Is it good?” Sunoo sensually pecked his neck.

“Yeah,” he breathed heavily, eyes closed shut. “So good.”

Sunghoon’s hands pressed the small of his back trying to keep him impossibly close. They hadn’t done much yet, but the older already sounded so dazed, it sparked something inside Sunoo.

“Tell me how much you like it.” Sunoo slowed down a little, but continued to move his hips in circles, applying more pressure with every thrust. “I wanna hear it.” He gently nibbled his earlobe.

“I… I like it,” the older seemed unable to think of a proper answer.

“Just ‘like’?” he innocently asked in between placing kisses on his neck.

“I love— Ah, I love it,” his cheeks were turning a light shade of pink under the dim light; Sunoo smiled to himself.

“You look so good right now,” the younger said and felt Sunghoon’s hips spasm softly.

To have Sunghoon under him like this, crumbling down just from the feeling of Sunoo moving against him, it sent a rush through his whole body. The younger had no intention of ending their night so soon and he was dying to find out how much higher he could take him.

“Do you want more, baby?” he cooed, hips dragging back and forth, and the older let out a moan — maybe Sunoo wasn’t the only one who enjoyed the pet name. “Do you?”

“Yes,” Sunghoon replied pitifully. “Please.”

Sunoo abruptly ceased the motion of his hips and backed away from his neck, staring down at the boy as he opened his eyes in a mixture of confusion and dismay. He looked so cute, Sunoo almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“Then work for it,” the younger said, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly and feeling a malicious smile creep on the corner of his lips.

He watched the innocent look on Sunghoon’s face slowly turn into a wild gaze. In an instant, his eyes pierced through him so ferociously, it was as if he wanted to devour him. The older seemed to be on the verge of losing his senses and Sunoo loved every bit of it.

As if that wasn’t enough, he leaned closer and flicked the tip of his tongue on his lips before backing away to stare into his eyes again. “So?”

If the older had been keeping it together until then, that seemed to finally pull the trigger. Sunghoon raised his knees and planted his feet on the mattress while both his hands swiftly slipped under Sunoo’s shorts. He hastily jerked his hips upward as he pulled Sunoo to meet his thrust, sending a jolt of electricity through his body.

The younger moaned and Sunghoon took the chance to capture his lips, repeating the motion of his hips over and over again. The kiss was messy; teeth and tongues collided as they were both too lost in the feeling to care.

Under Sunghoon’s control, the pace was faster and rougher. Sunghoon’s hands over his boxers seemed to burn his skin and every touch of their hips sent sparks all over him; it was overwhelming, so much that he could barely respond to the kiss. He let go and stayed there, looking at the older through heavy lids, feeling him guide his body and watching the fire in his eyes as he pulled Sunoo’s lip between his teeth.

Sunghoon’s grip on him, fingertips grazing his skin at the hem of his boxers, the friction of their lower bodies through the clothes — it was all too much, Sunoo was getting lightheaded.

The younger gave up trying to hold himself and completely let his weight fall on Sunghoon. He tightly gripped on the pillow above their heads and rested his head near the crook of his neck, bodies sliding against each other at a constant needy pace.

Being alone in their own room, he didn’t care enough to try to hold back his noises — he could tell Sunghoon enjoyed them.

They kept the pace for a while until Sunghoon gradually stopped and slid both his hands out of his shorts, moving one to his back and another to his thigh. Sunoo missed the touch, but didn’t have time to complain — Sunghoon lifted his back from the bed, firmly holding him close, and turned them around in a way he was now hovering over Sunoo.

The older handled him so effortlessly, he felt a little fuzzy. Sunoo wrapped his arms around his neck and promptly pulled him back in, kissing him as his hands ran through his hair, desperate to keep him close. Their bodies were pressed together and their lips moved so fervently, Sunoo wished to stay there forever, but he knew there was a way to make that even better.

With a bit of hesitancy, he let go of the kiss and pushed Sunghoon’s shoulders. The older backed away until he was on his knees, sitting in between Sunoo’s legs. For a moment, a mix of confusion and fear crossed his face, but it passed as soon as he understood what Sunoo was trying to do.

The younger raised his hips from the bed and pushed his own shorts down in a rush. They hadn’t even reached his knees yet when Sunghoon grabbed them and hurriedly finished taking them off, throwing them somewhere behind himself.

Sunoo quickly sat up, legs already spread again, and pulled Sunghoon’s shorts down his thighs in a single move. He held the hem of his tank top and lifted it while the older raised his arms for him to take it off. There went another piece of clothing forgotten somewhere in the room.

Sunoo didn’t care if he seemed desperate (he was) — it didn’t matter because he knew Sunghoon was just as eager.

A part of him wanted to let Sunghoon undress him, like he did with his shorts, but he wasn’t in the mood to wait for even a second.

The younger crossed his arms in front of his torso and grabbed the hem of his own shirt, anxious to take it off, but was interrupted by a grip on his arm.

Sunghoon held each of his wrists and pushed him back on the mattress, pinning both his hands above his head on the pillow and leaning his whole body against him.

“Keep the shirt on,” he spoke in a husky voice — it wasn’t a request. There was something so enticing about Sunghoon wanting him in his shirt while they did that, not a single cell in his body could resist it.

Sunghoon kissed him again and thrust his hips in a deep harsh motion, making Sunoo moan straight out of his tongue and onto his lips.

The kiss was rushed and passionate, tongues clashing and lips caught between teeth. The contact of their lower bodies felt a hundred times better now that two layers of fabric were gone, leaving only their boxers in between them.

Soon, Sunghoon slowed down and moved Sunoo’s wrists in a way he held them with his left hand alone while his right one slid between their bodies to press against Sunoo’s underwear. His moans were swallowed by Sunghoon’s mouth as he continued to kiss him deeply, mercilessly running his hand over his erection.

The older shifted his position a little and started to slide down his body, pressing pecks along his neck and the collarbone exposed by the wide neckline of Sunghoon’s shirt. He let go of Sunoo’s wrists to push his shirt up and left a trail of kisses and bites from his chest to his belly, all while massaging him through the fabric.

Sunoo kept his hands above his head, the same way Sunghoon had left him, and drowned in the feeling of his lips and hands across his body, whimpers falling from his mouth.

After a few bites and purplish marks spread on his torso, Sunghoon moved up to his neck, pressing feather light kisses as Sunoo threw his head back.

“Is it good?” The older asked, breathing on his skin, the hand over his boxers slowing down the pace.

Sunoo hummed and nodded, suddenly feeling shy.

“Tell me, baby. I wanna hear it.” Sunghoon gently nipped his jawline. There was a hint of mischief in his tone and Sunoo knew it was time to pay for what he had done earlier.

“Hyung,” the younger whined.

“Say it.” He squeezed him and Sunoo squirmed at the touch. It didn’t sound like a request anymore.

“It’s good. It’s so good,” Sunoo could sense his cheeks growing warm.

The hand on his crotch moved excruciatingly slowly and he wanted to tell Sunghoon to get on with it, but he was in no position to make demands.

“Best you ever had?” The older asked in a low voice and Sunoo could feel his smirk against his skin.

To have Sunghoon talk to him like that was mortifying but it had his whole body burning up in a mixture of shame and arousal.

The expression implied being the best at more things than what they had done until then, but there was no denying Sunghoon was the best he’d ever had at everything they did so far.

It was like the older didn’t even have to try — his touch felt like no other for the simple fact that it was his .

“Yeah,” Sunoo breathed out, almost hoping to not be heard. His arms moved to the mattress, gripping the sheet under his palms.

“Can’t hear you, baby,” Sunghoon nibbled his earlobe, still a smile on his lips.

His hand now touched him so lightly, Sunoo could only feel his fingertips running up and down his length through his underwear; he knew the older wouldn’t stop tormenting him until he had taken everything he could.

“Ah, hyung…” Sunoo whimpered and involuntarily raised his hips in a desperate search for friction. “You’re the best, you’re so good. Please, don’t stop.”

Sunghoon let out a satisfied hum and removed his hand from his crotch. Before Sunoo could complain, he positioned himself with one hand on his thigh and his other arm beside his head on the pillow for support.

He pecked him softly and let it linger for a moment, thumb lightly caressing his thigh. Despite how needy he felt, Sunoo’s chest tightened with the gentleness of it all.

“You look really pretty right now,” Sunghoon muttered against his lips, voice dripping honey — completely different from his malicious tone from a few seconds before.

Sunoo only stared, hypnotized by the way the boy looked at him and feeling as if his heart could explode anytime. He wished Sunghoon would never stop looking at him that way; wished he was forever the only person the older had those eyes for.

He wanted to be under Sunghoon like this night after night, to kiss him without a reason, to touch him and make him feel so good the older would never wish for anyone but him. Sunoo wanted him in too many ways to be satisfied being just his friend, but that would suffice for now.

The younger slithered his arms around his neck and tangled his fingers in his hair; he pulled him closer until their lips met again, slow and mellow, hoping that kiss could speak all the words he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud.

With light kisses and a gentle but tight grip on his thigh, Sunghoon started moving against him. The older held his thigh raised beside his waist and pulled him to meet his thrusts. Slow at first, they built up to a faster pace until they were both whimpering inside each other’s mouths.

Soon, Sunoo was too overwhelmed to kiss him back; he could only keep his arms around his neck, holding onto his back and gripping his hair, as Sunghoon pressed their bodies together. There were two layers of clothing between them and the friction felt so good, but he couldn’t help imagining how it would feel to have Sunghoon sliding against him skin on skin. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, letting his mind wander to all the other things he wanted to do with him.

He could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge now, nails mercilessly grazing Sunghoon’s back; the older seemed to have noticed it too. Letting go of his thigh, he pulled down the front of his underwear in a swift move and held his length, pressing it against his own erection through the fabric, and continued to grind against him.

Sunoo must’ve looked like a mess then, he couldn’t even control his breathing or the noises he made, but the older seemed to enjoy the view — when Sunoo opened his eyes, the boy stared down at him with a slackened jaw, lips slightly curled into a smile and gleaming eyes, almost as if he had gone insane. And maybe he had, but Sunoo loved the sight of it.

“Come on, baby. Give it to me,” Sunghoon spoke in a low voice and that was all it took.

Sunoo could feel his entire body shudder and his back arching off the bed as white strings poured over his belly and Sunghoon’s hand.

The older captured his lips in a kiss as he moaned through his orgasm, too dazed to respond.

Once he came down from his high, Sunghoon slowly backed away and sat on his heels in front of him.

“Wow, you should see yourself right now,” he stared down at Sunoo with a smug smirk, as if proudly admiring what he’d done.

“Shut up.” Sunoo rolled his eyes, but couldn’t contain the smile on his lips. He pulled Sunghoon to hover over him again and the older leaned back in with no resistance, bringing both arms around his head on the pillow. “You haven’t finished yet.”

“It’s fine, I’ll just—”

“Shh, let me do it for you,” he whispered.

Sunoo slid his hands down his chest and abdomen until they reached the waistband of his boxers and carefully pushed them down. He wrapped one hand around the tip, feeling the trickle spread through his fingers and his palm, and stroked him all the way down.

Sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows and bit his own lip, subtly bucking his hips into the touch.

“Go on, hyung,” Sunoo stared into his eyes with a mischievous smile. “Use me.” He tightened the grip and watched Sunghoon silently slacken his jaw.

Sunoo moved his hand up and down in a slow motion, completely aware that it wasn’t enough. Sunghoon began moving his hips to speed up the rhythm and Sunoo stopped his hand, keeping it steady to let the older set the pace.

He had been worked up for so long, it only took a minute until he was panting and whimpering again.

Sunoo dazedly stared at his half parted lips, stealing kisses and nibbles, knowing the older couldn’t bring himself to react then. Sunghoon had his eyebrows slightly furrowed and the younger loved how lost in pleasure he looked — his hands gripped onto the pillow as if his life depended on it and his hips moved at a rough pace, entranced by the feeling of Sunoo’s touch.

Having Sunghoon push his hips so harshly into his hand while his legs were still spread under him made Sunoo a little dizzy. The motion was too suggestive and his mind easily wandered to other places; to thoughts that were enough to get his body hot again.

Sunghoon fastened the pace, soft moans spilling from his mouth, and Sunoo knew he was close.

“Come for me, baby,” the younger asked in a sweet voice, gripping a little tighter, and it seemed to be enough to take him over the edge.

The older roughly thrust his hips forward all the way one last time and shut his eyes as pleasure hit him, a throaty moan escaping his lips.

Sunoo felt a heat from the feeling of the stream of trickle on his belly mixing with his own. Everything about Sunghoon then was so alluring, he wished he would never forget that scene.

The older collapsed on his body and let his head fall on the crook of his neck, breathing heavily against his skin as he came down from his high.

“Sunoo…” he called after a few seconds.

“Hm?” the younger soothingly rubbed circles on his back, ignoring the fact that they were both sweaty and sticky.

“That was so good,” he commented, a little dazed.

“Best you ever had?” Sunoo mocked.

Sunghoon chuckled. “You bet.”

They stayed like that for a minute until Sunghoon backed away and they remembered the mess they had made in between their bodies.

“Wait here.” Sunghoon pressed a soft kiss on his forehead before pulling his own boxers and shorts back up and leaving the room in quick clumsy steps.

He came back a few seconds later carrying wet and dry tissues and sat on the side of the bed next to Sunoo. He carefully took off his underwear and started wiping his body clean. Suddenly, Sunoo felt more embarrassed than he had all night and felt the urge to hide; he turned his head away and brought his arms to his face, unwilling to look at the older then.

“After everything we did, this is what you’re getting shy about?” Sunghoon asked.

“Shut up, it’s embarrassing.”

The older chuckled, but didn’t say anything else. He finished cleaning him, then gently held Sunoo’s arms and pulled the boy until he was sitting on the bed.

“Can’t believe I’m gonna have to shower again,” Sunoo complained as Sunghoon took off his shirt, which he only then realized had a few spotted stains.

“Look on the bright side, you get to shower with me!”

“Who said I wanted to shower with you?”

“At this point, I’m pretty sure you do,” he said with a smug face and Sunoo rolled his eyes.

Sunghoon got up and took Sunoo in his arms, bridal style.

“What are you doing?” Sunoo asked, automatically bringing his arms around his neck.

“Taking you to shower,” Sunghoon explained as he walked them toward the bathroom.

“You know what we did doesn’t affect my ability to walk, right?”

“Yeah, but I wanna show off how good I am at aftercare. Gotta maintain my position as the best you ever had.”

“Hyung, it’s not a competition.”

“If there’s a best, that implies the existence of a second best, and if there’s a ranking, it’s a competition,” he argued.

Sunoo just chuckled, amused by his logic. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he knew no one would take Sunghoon’s place anytime soon — maybe ever.

After the shower, the two lay in bed side by side facing the ceiling. Sunoo was tired, but he still didn’t feel like sleeping, for some reason.

“Sunoo,” the older called.

“Hm?”

“It was good, right?” he asked a bit hesitantly.

Sunoo sighed. “How many times are you gonna make me say it?”

Sunghoon turned to him and supported his head on his hand with his elbow on the pillow. “I’m not trying to make you say it, I was just thinking… what if you just said it was good cause you didn’t want to hurt my feelings?”

Sunghoon acted so confident most of the time, the younger forgot how sensitive and self-conscious he could be sometimes, and how he seemed to be specially insecure when it came to Sunoo.

“Hyung, you’re overthinking. I wouldn’t lie to you about this. Trust me, it was really good,” Sunoo reassured him. “Although, to be honest, I didn’t expect you to be so…” he trailed off.

“So what?” Sunghoon asked with a glint of worry in his eyes.

“You know… crazy,” he said, for lack of a better term.

Sunghoon huffed. “You’re one to talk, Mr. ‘Work For It’,” he retorted.

“I was getting tired of doing all the work by myself!”

“You wanted to see me go crazy, just admit it,” he accused and Sunoo huffed and rolled his eyes, feeling his cheeks get warm. “See? You can’t deny it!”

“Okay, fine, but what about you, Mr. ‘Best You Ever Had’?” Sunoo mocked. “You clearly have a praise kink.”

“I only repeated what you told me,” he stated smugly. “And it’s not my fault if I’m just that good.”

Just like that, his confidence was back.

“Ah, you’re unbearable.” Sunoo rolled his eyes. He acted like he was annoyed, but deep down he preferred this version of Sunghoon.

“Oh, really? Thought I was the best you ever had,” he raised his eyebrows.

“Sunghoon, if you say that one more time, I’m leaving this bed to sleep on the couch,” he threatened.

“You know I can just follow you there, right?” Sunghoon pointed out and Sunoo sent him a menacing glare. “Okay, I’ll stop.” He obediently lay back on the bed.

There were too many things that weren’t addressed that night, too many thoughts that went unspoken. A part of Sunoo was anxious about it; he wanted to tell Sunghoon everything that was on his mind and find out once and for all if the older felt the same or if he had been imagining it all along, but the night was too good to be ruined by questions.

Sunghoon would embrace him, as he did every weekend — he would hold Sunoo close to his chest as they fell asleep with synchronized heartbeats and the safety of each other’s arms, and that was enough for now.

Chapter Text

Sunoo slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the sunlight that escaped through the curtains and lit the room a little too bright for someone who just woke up. He looked up and was met by the sight of Sunghoon sleeping soundly.

The older rested on his back as Sunoo lay turned towards him, with his head on his shoulder and an arm around his waist. He trailed his gaze from his sharp brows to his soft lips, admiring his peaceful expression; it wasn’t long before his heart caught up with his mind and the memories of the night before flooded his consciousness.

Sunghoon’s soothing touch and firm lips, his feverish body pressed against him — the echoes of that moment came back in an instant. The night had been amazing, way better than Sunoo could have predicted, and he was glad to think that their friendship was still the same, but that was still what it was — a friendship.

Sunoo was past the point of believing that what he felt for Sunghoon was brotherly affection; he knew he loved him more than that, more than he could bring himself to say out loud.

He wished he could be satisfied with being just his friend; wished he didn’t think of Sunghoon every night, desiring to be tangled in his embrace the way lovers do; wished his heart didn’t crave for his best friend, but it was too late. He had had a taste of Sunghoon’s love. He knew the curves of his arms and the weight of his body and the touch of his fingertips too well.

Whenever he looked at Sunghoon’s mouth, he was no longer haunted by fantasies — he now knew the taste of those reddish lips and the feeling of those sharp teeth scraping his skin. And when he looked at him then, quietly asleep beside him, he knew there was no being Sunghoon’s friend anymore, there would never be again.

He would wholeheartedly give Sunghoon all of himself if only he knew with certainty that he felt the same. But he was scared to pry out the truth from Sunghoon’s heart, and he was willing to wait if it meant he could rest safely in his arms for a little while longer.

He was starting to question how much longer he could take when his thoughts were interrupted by a sleepy voice.

“Morning,” Sunghoon mumbled, slowly blinking to adapt his eyes to the light.

“Good morning,” Sunoo replied softly, a little dazed still; no one should look that pretty right after waking up. “Did you sleep well?”

The older hummed. “So well,” he said, a suggestive smirk on his lips.

Sunoo smiled back. They stared at each other for a moment, a comfortable silence filling the room.

“Wanna have breakfast?” he suggested.

Sunghoon considered it for a moment. “I think breakfast can wait,” he decided in a sleepy voice, wrapping his arms around Sunoo and intertwining his own fingers so that the boy was locked in his embrace.

It felt so good to wake up next to Sunghoon, to have him hold him so close and insist for them to stay, Sunoo couldn’t help giggling. 

“Alright,” he closed his eyes again and nuzzled into his chest. The worries that troubled Sunoo quickly faded away and soon they fell asleep again.

When they woke up, an hour later, both agreed they were too hungry to extend their time in bed.

They had fallen into a routine along the past weekends — Sunoo prepared their food while Sunghoon made the coffee they would drink throughout the day —, but before they could start this time, Sunoo remembered something.

“Hyung, why don’t you cook today? I kinda miss having your food,” he said sweetly.

“You miss my food?” Sunghoon asked, a smile creeping on his lips.

“Um…” the younger looked away. “Yeah.”

“Alright. Don’t worry, baby. I’ll be your chef for the day,” he winked with a smug smile as he bumped the tip of his index finger under Sunoo’s chin.

Sunoo hid the subtle smile on his lips and went to make the coffee.

The night before seemed to have changed something. They were already close, but now they seemed to have lost the last bit of shame they had around each other. Instead of being awkward, the air between them seemed to have an extra layer of playfulness, like an inside joke only the two knew about. It showed in random things, like the suggestive glances and jokes or the butt-slapping as one of them passed by the other to grab something on the counter.

Sunoo was glad that nothing had changed, but it still felt as if it wasn’t enough, as if something was missing.

“Here, try it.” Sunoo softly blew on the spoon of coffee he was holding before bringing it to Sunghoon’s lips; the older moved his head, hands busy stirring the pot. He stopped for a moment and took a sip from the spoon. “How is it?”

“Hm, it’s good,” Sunghoon licked his lips.

“Better than yesterday?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Sunghoon replied, then seemed to be hit by a realization. “Wait a minute, I made coffee yesterday.”

“Yeah, you did,” Sunoo tried to contain his smile.

Sunghoon slightly squinted his eyes. “What are you implying?” 

“Nothing! I just think maybe I should make the coffee from now on,” Sunoo said, hoping to sound as soft as possible.

The older looked at him perplexed. “Wait, you think my coffee is bad?” Sunoo avoided his stare. “But if you're using yesterday’s coffee as comparison, that’s not fair! I used your coffee machine yesterday, so if the coffee wasn’t good, it’s because your machine is bad, not me!” Sunghoon defended himself.

“First of all, I didn’t say your coffee is bad. It’s just not… good,” he looked up at Sunghoon. “And my machine only proves my point further. If I made good coffee in it today, it shows the machine is working fine. Your skills are the problem,” Sunoo pointed out, hoping it didn’t sound too harsh, but the look on the boy’s face said otherwise.

The older was quiet, subtly pouting like a child who failed to come up with a better argument. Then, he furrowed his eyebrows, as if he’d realized something. “Wait, is that why you asked me to cook today? So you could make coffee and prove your point?”

Sunoo looked away again and pressed his lips into a thin line, silently confessing his crime, and Sunghoon huffed.

“I tried to tell you before, but you didn’t believe me! I had to show you!” The younger quickly defended himself.

“So you didn’t actually miss my food?” Sunghoon sounded offended.

And then it hit Sunoo — that was the part Sunghoon was mad about?

“Wait, no! That’s not... I admit I needed a reason to make you cook today, but I wasn’t lying when I said I missed your food,” Sunoo explained.

“Well, you tricked me before, why should I believe you now?” the older sulked, turning back to the counter, and resumed his task.

Sunoo moved to stand behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Hyung, I’m sorry,” he said in his sweetest voice.

Sunghoon only hummed, clearly trying to sound unaffected, but Sunoo knew his weaknesses well.

“I just want us both to have good coffee! And I promise I really missed your food,” the younger said, resting his chin on his shoulder. When Sunghoon didn’t reply, he tightened his grip and continued, “I’m gonna stay here until you forgive me.”

“Okay,” Sunghoon muttered.

“So you forgive me?” Sunoo asked, peeking at him over his shoulder.  

“Okay, I’ll let you stay here until I forgive you,” he corrected.

Sunghoon was so easy to read, Sunoo had to fight back a smile. He knew he was already forgiven.

In the end, the sulking didn’t last too long. Sunoo stopped hugging him to start helping instead and soon breakfast was ready.

They spent most of the day focusing on studying, since finals were only three weeks away. Around 5pm, they both felt like they had studied enough and decided to watch a movie before Sunoo went back home.

Sunghoon set up the movie on his computer and fixed the desk in a way they could watch it from his bed while Sunoo went to the kitchen to drink some water.

The younger would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling a little giddy. They had done that numerous times before, but he couldn’t help anticipating it when he remembered too well what happened the last time they lay in that bed together.

The air was still warm, but the sky had turned dark and cloudy, as if it could start raining anytime — the perfect weather for movies and cuddling.

When Sunoo came back to the room, Sunghoon was already in bed, sitting exactly on the middle with his knees raised and his legs a bit spread, scrolling down his phone. The younger turned the lights off and kept the curtains only slightly open, allowing that gloomy weather to set the mood.

Sunoo unpaused the movie and climbed into bed, moving towards the obvious spot Sunghoon meant for him — with his back against his chest.

Neither of them seemed to feel the need to put a pillow between their bodies. As soon as Sunoo sat in front of Sunghoon, the older dropped his phone on the side, wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, holding his hands on top of his belly.

It felt so natural, Sunoo immediately relaxed and let his head fall back to rest on his shoulder.

A few minutes into the movie, Sunoo moved one of his hands to rest on Sunghoon’s knee, which was raised beside his body, absentmindedly caressing the skin with his thumb.

Sunghoon shifted almost imperceptibly behind him and brushed Sunoo’s hand, the one still on his stomach; the younger responded to the touch by playing with his fingers. Before he knew, their hands danced with each other, unpredictable movements in a steady rhythm — gentle grazes and fingers intertwining.

Suddenly, Sunoo was completely unaware of the movie on the screen; his mind was focused on the boy whose breath softly tickled his neck. The older let his other hand slide down his torso a little, tugging on the fabric of his shirt.

All the contact they shared was light and soft, but  it awakened a craving for more within Sunoo.

His hand ran up Sunghoon’s thigh, closer to his shorts, and his fingers spread on his skin tantalizingly slow; he moved his fingertips in a gentle caress, noticing how Sunghoon’s breathing seemed to hitch in his throat for a moment. He knew what he was doing and he couldn’t deny he loved that the older was so affected by his touch.

Sunghoon reciprocated by dragging his hand across his waist, fingers digging in as if trying to reach his skin through the fabric; Sunoo could feel the heat pooling in his stomach.

As desire took over them, the fondles that were once subtle gradually turned into grips and shaky gasps.

Their hands, which had been floating tangled in the air, now rested on his abdomen. The younger clung to the back of Sunghoon’s hand as it roamed on his body; his touch was all over him, lighting up his senses and weakening his limbs.

The older slowly raised his back from the pillow and pushed his body forward; he pulled the boy against his chest, arms enveloped around his waist. His parted lips torturously grazed Sunoo’s neck and the younger could only let his head fall to the other side, entranced by the feeling of his warm breath on his skin.

What were they doing? It didn’t feel right, but Sunoo didn’t want to stop, he didn’t want to think. In a glimpse of consciousness, he wondered if they would ever be able to be around each other again without wanting more.

The younger was wearing one of Sunghoon’s shirts — it was loose on him and the wide neckline revealed his collarbone. In a second, Sunghoon’s lips trailed to his exposed shoulder and his hands sneaked under his shirt, sending a shiver down his spine. His fingers burned everywhere they touched and Sunoo could only sigh helplessly, overwhelmed by the butterflies in his stomach.

Sunoo loved to keep Sunghoon close. He craved for his scent, his body, his voice; he needed all of Sunghoon, but every touch was a reminder of everything they weren’t.

Just friends , the thought rushed through Sunoo’s mind the same way Sunghoon’s fingertips brushed his skin — constant and restless. Suddenly, it all felt suffocating and a part of him wished it would stop, but he didn’t have the strength to let go of him. It was too much and yet, somehow, not enough.

“Hyung…” Sunoo called in a whimper.

“Sunoo,” the older muttered in a low voice and pressed his lips on his skin, making him quiver and tighten the grip on his arm.

Their bodies moved in sync, pushing and pulling one another, desperate for each other’s touch. But those two disquieting words remained there, in the back of his head.

“Sunghoon—,” Sunoo gasped, interrupted by a low groan and another bite on his neck. His reactions seemed to only work up the older, who was gradually losing his senses.

His fingertips moved everywhere under his shirt, from his waist to his chest. Sunghoon seemed to notice how sensitive he was; he brushed his hands on his nipples and started playing with them, making Sunoo arch his back and throw his head back on his shoulder.

His chest heaved, his breathing was shallow and his body was slightly shaking from the stimulation. He bit his lower lip trying to contain his whimpers, but the noises came out the same.

Behind him, Sunghoon continued to touch him as he pressed open mouth kisses on his neck, dragging his tongue over his skin. He felt like he was going insane.

Slowly, one of Sunghoon’s hands slid down until it reached his crotch and squeezed him softly, sending a wave of pleasure through his body.

Right then, the feeling became too overwhelming to bear.

In a brisk move, Sunoo pushed Sunghoon’s arms away and threw himself forward on the bed in an anguished attempt to break free, landing on his knees, a few centimeters away.

“Stop,” the younger mumbled, catching his breath and clutching the sheets under his palms. “I can’t do this,” he continued in a low voice, glancing at the older behind his shoulder and finding him static, staring back with shock and fear in his eyes.

Sunoo still felt restless. He left the bed and got up, pausing the movie and walking away to stand in the middle of the bedroom.

“Sunoo, I’m sorry,” the older desperately followed after him, stopping close behind but not near enough to touch him. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean— Are you okay?” his eyes gleamed with concern.

“I’m fine, it’s okay,” Sunoo said, still panting, and turned around to face him. “I just—” he sighed, unable to find the right words.

What was he supposed to say? ‘We can’t do this because I’m in love with you and I can’t stand being just your friend anymore’? Sunoo wanted to tell him, wanted to say this and so much more, but maybe he needed to hear it from Sunghoon first.

“Don’t you have anything to tell me?” Sunoo asked, looking him in the eyes.

The older was taken back by the sudden question. “I…” He gazed down, from one side to another, seeming lost for a moment, like there were a thousand things going through his mind right then. When he looked up again, his eyes met Sunoo’s pleading ones. He now seemed determined; scared still, but his expression had changed. “You already know it, don’t you?” he asked quietly.

“I wanna hear it from you,” Sunoo replied in a soft voice.

Sunghoon nodded understandingly. “Okay,” he muttered.

Sunoo’s heart pounded on his chest. If Sunghoon really felt the way he thought, there would be nothing stopping them from being together anymore. He only needed a word from Sunghoon — one word and he would be his.

The older stared at him with a gentle but serious gaze; his eyes were apprehensive and carried a hint of distress.

Sunoo had waited long enough to know the truth. Whatever it was, he was ready to hear it; but when Sunghoon opened his mouth, the words that came out were not the ones he hoped to hear.

“I’m moving to Australia.”

Chapter Text

Three weeks ago

“Mom, please—,” Sunghoon desperately pleaded before being interrupted again. 

“I’m not hearing it, Sunghoon. You’re going. Your father and I spent too much money on this trip for you to give it up now,” the woman on the other side of the phone was impatient and Sunghoon was starting to feel hopeless. “I don’t understand why you’re still insisting on this.”

Sunghoon could hear the faint sound of the movie playing in the living room of Jay’s apartment, where the boys were gathered. He hoped the noise was enough to cover his conversation.

 “I can pay you!” Sunghoon exclaimed, keeping his voice as low as possible. “I’ll work and pay it all back, I promise, even if it takes a year!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,  Sunghoon. You know we never did this for you to pay us back. Do you even have any idea how much effort it would take for you to gather that much money now? We want you to go, that’s all.”

“But mom—”

“Why did you even change your mind? What could make you want to not go after wanting this for so long? I don’t understand,” her voice was a little softer now.

Sunghoon wanted to give her an explanation, but you can’t just tell your parents that you gave up an expensive exchange study trip because your best friend would miss you too much.

“I just… it’s hard to explain,” Sunghoon trailed off.

“I understand you might be going through a lot right now and it might be overwhelming to imagine being away from everyone for so long, but it’s only six months. You’ll get used to it in no time, you’ll see!”

There was no arguing with her, nor would there be with his father again. Sunghoon sighed. “Fine.”

“Please, don’t be mad at us, okay? We just want what’s best for you,” she said gently.

“Okay,” he sounded weary. “Bye, mom.”

“Bye, love.”

When the exchange program was announced, he had initially been indecisive, but ended up choosing to try it, partly for the experience, but mainly as a way to get over Sunoo — he had never stayed away from him for too long, maybe that was what he needed to get over his best friend.

It wasn’t hard to convince his parents. They were very supportive of the idea, and so were his friends. Jay, Heeseung and Jake knew about it from the beginning, and even Jungwon and Riki managed to find out eventually, but the hardest conversation was yet to come.

The older had been meaning to tell him for a long time, always waiting for the right time, but it never seemed to happen. It became especially hard after Sunoo started to get closer to him, acting clingier and flirtier; he was scared to do anything that would upset the boy and push him away, so he avoided the topic altogether.

On the previous day, Sunghoon had just turned in the final documents for the exchange program at the college’s office. It was settled, he would be going to Australia in the next few months to spend the rest of the year there, but suddenly he didn’t want to go anymore. That same day, Sunoo had confessed crying over him when he thought Sunghoon would stay away for a few months, back when he traveled with his parents to Spain.

The older had thought of how much he would miss Sunoo, but it hadn’t really dawned on him how much the boy would miss him and it killed him just to think of making him cry again. He had changed his mind, but it was too late. Not going wasn’t a choice anymore. The only thing left to do was telling Sunoo.

When Sunghoon came back to the living room, the boys seemed worried about him and Jay questioned his absence, but he quickly dismissed it and they focused back on the movie. He sat beside Sunoo and the two arranged their position so that Sunghoon had an arm around him while the boy rested his head on his shoulder and held his waist.

“You sure you’re okay?” Sunoo whispered close to his ear.

A simple question was enough to warm his chest. “Yeah, don’t worry,” Sunghoon whispered back with a smile.

“Alright,” he said before turning back to the screen.

He wanted to tell Sunoo — he would, when the right time came. But not that day, not when he leaned on him and hugged him so sweetly. He wouldn’t ruin that moment.

“Don’t you have anything to tell me?” Sunoo’s gaze pierced through him, his voice a little anguished.

“I…” he faltered and turned his gaze away. His mind was still hazy, tormented by the way Sunoo had shoved him and left his arms so harshly. The younger had never acted that way before and, for a moment, Sunghoon was scared that he had lost him forever. 

Maybe he had been too greedy. He should’ve known he couldn’t have Sunoo for too long, he shouldn’t have expected anything because the boy was never his in the first place, but he couldn’t help it; not when Sunoo gave himself so willingly, when he touched him so gently and Sunghoon could feel the desire in his body. He could never resist Sunoo.

Now they stood in the middle of his bedroom and the younger faced him with a question that seemed to have no answer.

Don’t you have anything to tell me? The words echoed in his head and Sunghoon could think of a thousand things Sunoo could mean by that, but there was one secret that had been consuming him with guilt for a long time now.

Judging by the way Sunoo looked at him, he already knew the answer to that question. Sunghoon didn’t understand how he could have found out or why he hadn’t confronted him sooner. Maybe someone had told him — Jungwon and Riki had advised him to talk to the boy, perhaps they got tired of waiting and decided to do it themselves. But all of that didn’t matter now.

Sunghoon looked at him again. “You already know it, don’t you?”

“I wanna hear it from you,” Sunoo said softly.

“Okay,” the older muttered under his breath, scared of the next words he would pronounce.

Sunoo stared at him, expectantly waiting. He didn’t seem mad, maybe just disappointed, but Sunghoon couldn’t read his expression and he could only assume the worst when he had been hiding this secret for so long. The younger had the right to be upset.

There was no easy way to say it, and if Sunoo already knew about it, there was no point in trying to soften the truth.

“I’m moving to Australia,” he blurted out.

“What?” Sunoo furrowed his eyebrows and his expression seemed to get darker.

“But not forever!” Sunghoon quickly added. “I was accepted in the exchange program. I’m gonna be there for 6 months.”

Sunoo’s expression turned into confusion. “Wait…” He sighed and closed his eyes for a second. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“Is that not what you wanted to hear?” Sunghoon asked, perplexed.

“No!” Sunoo exclaimed in distress.

“Then…” he started to say, barely audible, but Sunoo spoke again.

“Sunghoon, is there really nothing else you want to tell me?” the younger insisted. His eyes were desperately begging him for an answer.

There is, he thought. In fact, it seemed as though no words would ever be enough to express the things he wanted to say, but even the simplest of them wasn’t so simple after all.

He remained there, trying to find the courage to voice those words, but they didn’t come out.

Sunoo hopelessly stared at him. His gaze wavered as if he could start crying any moment and it broke Sunghoon’s heart. “Hyung—,'' he choked.

“There is,” the older interrupted him and Sunoo’s eyes seemed to light up again. “There is so much I want to tell you,” he breathed out, like those words were a confession in itself, “I don’t even know where to start.”

Sunghoon didn’t feel ready to say it yet. He was too scared to find out the consequences of telling Sunoo what he’d been hiding on his chest, but the boy deserved to know and he was tired of running away.

The younger watched him for a second and then carefully took one of his hands in his own, caressing it soothingly. “It’s okay. You can start with the easy part,” his voice was calm, as if he was willing to wait for as long as Sunghoon needed.

The older felt his chest grow warm and glanced down, admiring the way their fingers complemented each other, before looking into his eyes again.

“Okay,” Sunghoon said, nearly a whisper. He held each of Sunoo’s hands and took one step closer, so close they could almost feel each other’s heartbeats.

He was scared that the younger would back away any moment; that he would push him away like he’d done a few minutes before and hate him for ever coming so close, but Sunoo only gazed at him, so lovingly it made Sunghoon feel like they were the only two people in the world.

Their faces were mere centimeters away, the distance slowly getting smaller as Sunghoon leaned closer and Sunoo slightly angled his chin, waiting for them to meet.

Words never came easy to Sunghoon, but Sunoo’s lips did — they always had.

Unlike most kisses they had shared, this one was chaste and soft. Sunoo slowly untightened the grip of their hands to interlace their fingers together instead. The boy kissed him, gentle and unhurried, plump lips pressing against Sunghoon’s like a silent confession of his own.

Sunghoon had been discouraged to believe that Sunoo could feel the same too many times before, it was only natural for him to doubt it, but in that moment, as the boy held his hand so tight and kissed him so sweetly, he hoped once again that it was more than his imagination.

When they parted, Sunghoon rested his forehead against Sunoo’s, keeping his eyes closed and panting lightly.

The words stuck in his throat in that moment had always been the hardest ones to say. It had always seemed as though something terrible would happen if he ever spoke them out loud, but somehow, right then, under Sunoo’s soothing touch, they didn’t feel as terrifying.

“I love you, Sunoo. I have been in love with you since the day we met,” Sunghoon confessed quietly. He backed away to stare at him and the words started flowing before he could think. “Truth is, I never learned to be your friend. I didn’t want to lose you, so I kept it to myself and waited for these feelings to die out, but they never did,” his heart was beating fast, but his voice was calm. “You were never just a friend to me.”

Sunoo listened attentively, his gaze piercing through him. He was quiet for a moment, as if taking in his words, and the silence, although short, was enough to make the older question everything again.

The boy looked down at their tangled hands and swung them lightly before moving his eyes back to his. “Well, we’re not just friends, though, are we?” he asked softly.

Sunghoon’s heart skipped a beat. His mind was too hazy to think straight. As obvious as the meaning of those words sounded, he was too afraid of assuming things and being wrong; he could never be sure when it came to Sunoo.

“Because we’re… best friends?” he asked, uncertain.

Sunoo huffed and turned his head away, rolling his eyes. “Ah, I really can’t stand you sometimes,” he mumbled, but his expression was too loving to be disapproving. He let go of his hands and touched his shoulders instead. “Are you sure there isn’t a better word for us?” His fingertips danced over his shirt, slowly running up and down his shoulders again.

Sunghoon’s heart was now beating out of his chest. “Uh, what— what word?”

The younger caressed his neck with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Maybe… ‘boyfriends’?” He raised an eyebrow.

The older swallowed nervously. “Okay, yeah. I like that word.”

“I like it too,” he said almost in a whisper. Sunghoon didn’t remember when they got this close, but their lips would touch if only he leaned down a bit. “So, can I kiss my boyfriend now?” he asked, heavy-lidded eyes fixed on Sunghoon’s mouth.

Boyfriend. The word had never sounded so sweet.

“Please do,” the older muttered.

Sunoo softly brought his hands to his nape, pulling him in until their lips met, and Sunghoon’s mind seemed to burst into a thousand fireworks. He melted into the kiss, his hands instinctively moving to grasp Sunoo’s hips. They moved their heads in sync, slowly pecking each other’s lips. The boy smiled in between kisses and pressed closer against him; it was subtle, but it was enough to make his head spin.

After a few seconds, Sunoo backed away, only enough to speak again.

“I love you too,” he whispered, gently caressing his neck. “I don’t ever wanna be just your friend again. I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

“It’s okay, you’re worth the wait,” Sunghoon breathed against his lips and he meant every word.

Sunoo shook his head softly. “You waited 2 years, that’s too long. Don’t you think I should make up for it?”

Sunghoon slightly furrowed his eyebrows. “Make up for it?”

“Yeah, you know… I have some things in mind,” he said as he lightly ran his hand down his chest.

Sunghoon was finally catching up to what he meant.

“Like, boyfriend things?” he asked, a smile creeping on his face.

“Yeah, boyfriend things,” the younger smiled back, a suggestive glint in his eyes.

Sunoo was driving him crazy and they hadn’t even done anything yet.

“You know, thinking back, I did wait for a long time,” Sunghoon glanced up, as if wondering about it. “And you dated many guys in the meantime, do you have any idea how hard that was for me?” he raised his eyebrows.

“That must have been so hard,” Sunoo nodded understandingly.

“I suffered so much,” Sunghoon made a hurt expression, pulling him closer by the waist.

“So much,” the boy agreed, tightening his arms around his neck. “Maybe I should start making up for it now.”

“That’s a good idea,” he said, Sunoo’s eyes drawing him in.

Before he could say another word, the younger closed the gap between them again, but his kiss was not as gentle as before. He stood on his tiptoes and leaned his body against him, placing his weight on Sunghoon as his tongue pushed inside his mouth, eager to taste him.

Sunoo kissed him, deep and urgent. His hands on his hair and down his back desperately pulled him in and the older could feel the heat growing in his stomach.

When Sunghoon realized, he was moving backwards as the boy pushed him without breaking the kiss. The back of his knees hit the bed and he fell, a little startled, sitting on the mattress.

The younger was still standing in front of him; Sunghoon held his waist to pull him closer, but Sunoo pushed his shoulders, making him fall back and support himself on his elbows. He watched as the boy took one step back and carefully slid his shorts down.

Sunghoon’s eyes followed the fabric until it pooled around his feet on the floor and the boy took a step outside. Then, he crossed his arms in front of his torso and grabbed the hem of his shirt, taking it off too slowly for Sunghoon’s sanity. It was such a simple action, but Sunoo managed to make a show out of it. As soon as he slipped off his shirt, Sunghoon’s eyes shot up and he realized the boy stared at him with a hungry gaze and a mischievous smile.

Sunoo took a step forward and straddled his lap, pulling him closer by the shirt until the tip of their noses were touching. His hands ran up and down his shirt, stirring the butterflies in Sunghoon’s stomach.

The older touched his waist and let his fingers explore his skin, making Sunoo arch his back and press against him. They shared the same air, heavily breathing against each other’s lips as their hands desperately clung to each other, trying to get impossibly closer.

“You look amazing,” Sunghoon muttered, eyes heavy with want.

“For you,” Sunoo whispered back. “I’m all yours now.”

Their lips met again and the older completely melted. One of Sunoo’s hands moved to his nape while the other warmly pressed against his cheek. His tongue dragged in and out of his mouth and his hips moved slowly but fiercely, setting his whole body aflame.

After some time, Sunghoon firmly held his thighs and got up in a single move, wrapping Sunoo’s legs around his waist. He turned them around and climbed on the bed, gently laying the boy down. 

The older slowed down the kiss until he was nibbling and pulling Sunoo’s lower lip between his teeth; he kissed the corner of his mouth and left a trail of pecks down his neck, softly licking and biting his skin.

The boy threw his head back, low whimpers falling from his mouth as Sunghoon continued to slide down his body. He ran his lips on his chest and pressed kisses on the light bruises he had left the night before.

Soon, he reached the fabric of Sunoo’s underwear. He hooked his fingers on each side, ready to take it off, but the boy quickly held one of his wrists. Sunghoon stopped and looked up at him, waiting for his consent.

“Your shirt goes first,” Sunoo said.

“Making demands now?” Sunghoon smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Okay.”

He backed away and sat on his heels, standing between Sunoo’s spread legs. He could feel his gaze on his body as he took off his shirt and made the action a little slower than it should be. Once it was off, he threw it to the side.

“Better?” Sunghoon asked.

“Yeah,” Sunoo breathed out, eyes hungrily staring at his torso.

The older leaned back in, approaching his inner thigh and kissing it softly; he knew how sensitive Sunoo was and he enjoyed taking advantage of it. He firmly held his leg and pressed his lips on his skin, leaving gentle bites and purplish marks along the way as he slowly got closer to his crotch. The boy hummed and trembled; he moved one of his hands to Sunghoon’s shoulder and dug his nails on his skin, rousing the fire in his body. 

Soon, Sunghoon had reached his boxers again, but he wouldn’t give in too easily this time. The older let his parted lips slide on the fabric, breathing against it and earning whimpers in response — he loved the sound. He continued to mouth over his erection, aware of how much of a torture that was.

“Hyung,” Sunoo whined.

Sunghoon looked up at him. “Can I take it off now?” he teased.

“Please,” the boy asked with soft eyes.

Oh, to hear Sunoo begging for his touch.

The younger raised his hips and Sunghoon carefully slipped his boxers down his legs.

He wanted to bully Sunoo for a bit longer, but he was also dying to please him. The sight of the younger completely uncovered with his legs spread before him was so alluring, he was too weak to resist it.

Slow at first, Sunghoon bobbed his head up and down as Sunoo tangled his fingers in his locks and moaned softly. The older knew how he liked it; he had paid close attention the first time he’d done that, taking mental notes on everything that made the boy whimper, and he wanted to find out what else could bring those pretty noises out of him. He sped up the pace, caressing his thighs and lightly scraping his nails on his skin.

“Hyung,” Sunoo called, tightening the grip on his hair and bucking his hips up. “Ah— fuck,” he muttered, but it was loud enough for Sunghoon to hear it.

Sunoo never swore. It was so unusual to hear that word coming from his lips, Sunghoon felt a heat pooling in his stomach; he had been fine focusing on the boy up until that moment, but suddenly his clothes felt too tight. He impulsively brought a hand down to his own bulge in a desperate attempt to relieve himself as he moaned around Sunoo.

When the younger realized what he was doing, a throaty whimper escaped his lips and his hips spasmed, making Sunghoon choke slightly. He recovered quickly and was ready to continue, but Sunoo gently pulled his hair until his mouth was free again and raised his back from the bed, pulling him in for a kiss.

The boy seemed a little desperate, moaning and running his hands on his body as he guided him closer. He pushed Sunghoon to lie down on his back, nipping his lower lip and licking into his mouth, hand incessantly roaming his chest.

Sunghoon held the back of his hand and slid it down to his crotch. The boy was quick to understand what he wanted — he massaged him through the fabric and Sunghoon could only whimper helplessly as he rolled his hips to meet his touch.

Too soon, Sunoo backed away and moved to kneel between his legs instead. 

“Lift,” he ordered, lightly patting the side of his hips, and the older obeyed without a word.

As always, Sunoo wasted no time taking off his clothes — Sunghoon’s shorts and underwear were quickly thrown on the floor. Although the boy seemed to be in a hurry, he paused for a moment staring down at Sunghoon the way a hungry animal looks at its prey.

The older never felt so seen and he loved to feel Sunoo look at him that way, but he couldn’t help feeling a little self-conscious from how exposed he was. He unthinkingly moved his legs in an attempt to hide himself, but the younger held his knees and roughly split them apart; Sunghoon felt the blood rushing to his cheeks in a mixture of shame and arousal.

Sunoo ran his hands down his thighs and held his length; he leaned in, getting close enough that Sunghoon could feel his breath. He was burning up with anticipation, waiting as the younger parted his plump lips, not yet taking him in his mouth. Maybe the boy wanted to torture him and a part of him liked it enough that he was willing to wait and see how far he would go.

Sunghoon raised his back from the mattress to rest on his elbows and watched as Sunoo stuck the tip of his tongue out, letting the saliva drip from his lips in a string. The sight was insane.

He stroked him up and down, spreading the trickle that had dribbled down the shaft, and pressed his tongue on the tip. The older let his head fall back in pleasure for a moment. Sunoo took his time, licking and pressing soft wet kisses on him, then took him in his mouth and started moving at a constant pace. He shut his eyes and gripped Sunghoon’s thigh, as if the feeling was a little overwhelming.

Despite how obscene the scene was, it warmed up Sunghoon’s chest to see the boy make so much effort for him. He tangled one hand in his hair, caressing it softly, but not pushing any harder. Sunoo whimpered softly and the vibration felt so good, he had to resist the urge to thrust his hips into his mouth. Instead, he touched Sunoo’s face, brushing his hair out of his forehead, and the younger blinked his eyes open to look at him, slowing down the motion. As much as Sunghoon loved the feeling of his lips around him, he needed to have him close then.

“Come here, baby,” he asked gently.

Sunoo backed away, letting his tongue drag under the shaft until there was only a thin string of saliva connecting Sunghoon to his lips. It made the older lightheaded.

He sat up on the mattress, resting on the back of the bed, and Sunoo climbed on him and straddled his hips, getting rid of the space between them. He wrapped an arm around Sunghoon’s neck and a hand around their erections, holding them together as he rocked his hips back and forth. Their tongues met once more, hot and rushed. Sunghoon gripped his ass, pulling him harder and faster, and their bodies moved together, easily sliding against each other. 

They eventually broke the kiss and kept their foreheads pressed together, sharing the same breath as whimpers fell from their lips.

The older was completely hypnotized; Sunoo looked irresistible, moaning and gasping as he moved on him, his skin so delicate under his grasp. He was giving him everything, but Sunghoon was greedy.

He moved one hand to Sunoo’s parted lips, pushing two fingers inside his mouth. The boy willingly gave in and closed his lips around them, sucking and licking as Sunghoon ran them back and forth on his tongue. Sunoo shut his eyes and whimpered, eyebrows drawn together in pleasure. He slowed down the pace of his hips, seeming overwhelmed, and a part of Sunghoon wanted to keep watching that scene, but he had other plans.

Once his fingers were slick enough, he pulled them out and Sunoo looked at him with a bit of dismay, but his expression changed as soon as he saw the older bring them to his own mouth, licking them slowly. Sunghoon coated them with a bit more spit before spreading Sunoo’s cheeks with his other hand and pressing his wet fingers against his hole. 

The younger gasped and froze, one hand tightly clutching his shoulder. Teasingly, Sunghoon traced a few circles around his rim before slowly pushing one finger inside; he loved the way the boy squirmed on his lap, arching his back and lifting his hips against his touch. Once he went deep enough and felt Sunoo relax a little, he started moving his finger in and out, careful not to hurt him. The younger let his head fall forward and relied his weight on Sunghoon, as if he had completely lost his strength.

“Hyung… Slower, please,” Sunoo asked, breathing shortly and the older did as told. The boy continued to whimper, firmly holding on to his shoulder as his other hand slithered up his chest for support.

The younger had been the first to make a move multiple times before and he seemed to enjoy being in control, but Sunghoon also loved to see him like this, fully at his mercy. He couldn’t help the urge to bully him when he looked this cute. Without any warning, Sunghoon stopped the motion of his finger and Sunoo didn’t take too long to notice.

“Don’t stop,” he mumbled, lightly wiggling his butt.

Sunghoon couldn’t hold back the malicious smile that crept on his lips. “Are you gonna let me do all the work by myself?” he asked.

“Hyung…” the younger whined.

“Go on,” he whispered by his ear. “Move for me, baby.” 

Sunoo hummed in frustration and gripped his shoulder tighter, but soon he started moving his hips, pushing back on his finger. He backed away a little and Sunghoon stared up at him, savoring the look on his face as he used him to please himself.

Slowly, the older started moving his finger again, adjusting to the rhythm Sunoo had set. He realized he’d found the perfect spot when the boy gasped and grazed his nails on his chest, like a knee-jerk reaction; he bit his own lip, closed his eyes and let his head fall back, pure bliss on his face. Sunghoon took the chance to graze his teeth on his neck and run his lips on his chest.

It was too easy to get lost in Sunoo, he felt and looked like a dream. His scent, his taste, his body heat — it was intoxicating. Sunghoon had gotten so focused on pleasing the boy, he had forgotten about his own needs, but it wasn’t long until Sunoo reminded him. Without stopping the motion of his hips, the younger brought a hand between their bodies, connecting them once again and twisting his wrist to match the pace. His touch was so bewitching, Sunghoon groaned and drew his brows in pleasure.

“Baby,” the older whimpered. “Feels so good.”

He was a little dazed and the boy didn’t miss the opportunity to steal soft pecks and nibbles on his lips. Sunghoon felt so gone, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

“Sunoo, I’m close,” he said, panting.

“Me too,” the younger replied, fastening the hand that moved between them.

Sunghoon could feel it building up inside him; he pushed his finger harder into Sunoo and watched mesmerized as the boy slackened his jaw and tightened the grip on his shoulder. His gaze trailed from his eyes to his soft nose and his parted lips. The boy was dazzling and Sunghoon wished they could forever stay tangled in that bed.

They got lost in the moment, whispering each other’s names like a mantra until Sunghoon felt his entire body overflow with too many feelings he couldn’t explain. The younger harshly captured his lips as their bodies trembled and white strings poured over his hand.

The two slowly came to stop, breathing heavily and tightly clinging onto each other. Sunghoon carefully pulled out his finger and wiped it on his sheets before wrapping his arms around Sunoo’s waist. He pulled him closer and buried his face on the crook of his neck. They were sticky and sweaty, but he needed to feel him close right then and Sunoo seemed to want the same. 

“I love you,” Sunghoon muttered in a low voice against his skin. 

“I love you too,” Sunoo whispered back, sliding the hand on his shoulder to his nape.

Saying those three words first had never been so easy. 

After a shower (and a new set of clean sheets), they lay together in Sunghoon’s bed again. Sunoo had argued they had class in the morning and he should go home, but Sunghoon wasn’t willing to let him go just yet. It only took a few arguments mentioning how much he had suffered for the past two years for the younger to give in and stay one more night.

“About the exchange trip, I’m sorry for not telling you before,” Sunghoon started, unsure of how to explain the unfinished topic. They had been in comfortable silence for a while; the older lay his head on Sunoo’s chest as the boy softly caressed his hair. “I decided to try it over a month ago. When I got in, I kept waiting for the right time to tell you but I just couldn’t do it. Then, that day you said you had cried about my trip to Spain and I felt so bad I decided not to go anymore, but my parents didn’t let me cancel it,” he explained.

“And they’re right! Do you know how expensive that trip is?” Sunoo asked.

“But I don’t wanna go. Especially now that we’re together, I can’t leave you.” His thumbs slowly rubbed circles Sunoo’s his waist.

“It’s just six months,” the younger said dismissively. 

“That’s enough time for you to find another boyfriend,” Sunghoon argued.

“I don’t want another boyfriend,” he giggled.

“Still, it’s too long. I would probably die from missing you so much,” he sighed.

“You’re so dramatic. You can’t die from that.”

“I could!” Sunghoon exclaimed, raising his head and supporting himself on the mattress beside the boy. “Have you never heard of people who died of heartbreak?”

“Well, you survived two years without dating me, didn’t you? Six months away won’t kill you.”

The older was not convinced. The more he thought about it, the more the idea of going away didn’t make sense. He finally had the boy of his dreams the way he always wanted, he couldn’t just give that up now, even if it was only for six months. He would have other opportunities to travel to Australia, but he would never get the first few months of their relationship back.

“You know what?” Sunghoon felt resolute now. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going. I’ll just work for the next few years until I pay my parents back.”

Sunoo stopped smiling when he realized he was serious. “Sunghoon, no!”

“You can’t tell me what to do! I’m not leaving you for that long. And it’s ‘hyung’ for you,” the older corrected.

“But—” the boy started before being interrupted.

“I’m not hearing it. I’m not going and there’s nothing you can say to change my mind.”

“I’ll go with you!” Sunoo blurted out.

“What?” Sunghoon frowned. “You can’t go with me,” he said. As much as he wished for that to be true, he knew it was just unrealistic. Such a trip would have to be better planned and, considering the exchange program applying period was already over, there was no way Sunoo could get into it now. He would have to take time off college and Sunghoon didn’t want to make him go through that.

“Of course I can,” the boy retorted, as if it was obvious.

“You can’t just skip six months of college,” he pointed out. 

“I won’t,” Sunoo shrugged.

“Then how,” Sunghoon trailed off, perplexed.

Sunoo sighed and looked away. “You see… You’re not the only one who applied for the exchange program,” he confessed.

Sunghoon couldn’t tell if he was serious or if this was a sick joke. “What?” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Remember the last time the boys gathered here, like a month ago?” he asked. Sunghoon vaguely remembered it, but he nodded, curious about where the boy was going with that. “That day we were studying together before they arrived. When you left to get the door, I went on your computer to look for notes and accidentally saw your application form,” he said apologetically and Sunghoon’s heart dropped. 

Thinking back, Sunghoon had been so busy that day, going after documents and other things for the exchange trip, he must have forgotten the application form tab opened.

“Wait, so you have known all this time?” the older questioned, dumbfounded.

“Yeah…” he sounded like he was confessing to a crime.

Something in his mind clicked. Sunoo didn’t get mad at him when he said he was going to Australia. Not just that, he completely ignored the topic until Sunghoon brought it up again. Anyone else would be demanding an explanation, but the boy seemed to not care at all and it only made sense because he had known since the beginning.

“My parents already wanted me to try it and I kept thinking of that time you went to Spain and how much I hated the idea of not seeing you for so long,” Sunoo continued. “So I decided to apply too.”

Sunghoon’s mind was in chaos. He had too many questions.

“Weren’t you mad that I didn’t tell you?” he asked.

“A little bit, but I knew you would when you were ready and I didn’t want to push you,” the boy gazed at him lovingly as he brushed the hair on his forehead. “Also, I kind of wanted to make a surprise. I was gonna wait a little more to tell you as payback for taking so long to tell me, but I’m guessing you would have canceled the trip if I didn’t do it now,” Sunoo said in a sassy manner.

“But what if I hadn’t gotten in? Would you have gone alone?” 

“No, I was keeping an eye on you. It was really easy, actually, since Jay tells Jungwon everything,” he had a mischievous smile.

“Ah, Jay,” Sunghoon sighed. “And Jungwon, that little—”

“Jungwon didn’t tell me anything, though,” Sunoo interrupted him. “Not before he knew that I knew. He just kept me informed.”

Sunghoon was still processing what Sunoo told him. “So.. You’re going to Australia with me,” he stated nonchalantly, as if not believing his own words.

“Yeah,” Sunoo confirmed.

“You’re going to Australia with me,” he repeated. It was finally sinking in and he couldn’t contain the smile creeping on his lips.

“Yeah,” the younger smiled back, his eyes turning into little crescent moons.

“We’re going to Australia together!” Sunghoon was nearly jumping now.

“That’s what I said!”

The older felt so happy he could die. He grabbed Sunoo’s face with both hands. “I love you so much!” he exclaimed and kissed the boy before he could reply. “So. So. Much,” he said in between quick pecks on his cheeks and nose.

Sunoo only giggled and gently held his arms, unable to stop his kissing attacks.

They playfully fought for a while until soft pecks and bites turned into a full makeout session. It would probably have continued if they weren’t so tired and didn’t have class in the morning.

That night, Sunghoon fell asleep to the soothing feeling of Sunoo’s fingers playing with his hair and the comfort of his embrace. 

Sunghoon felt the safest then. For the first time since he met Sunoo, his heart was completely at peace, as being in his arms, lying his head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat, there was nothing more he could wish for.

Chapter Text

“You sure you don’t want me to walk you to the library?” Sunghoon asked, coming to a stop in front of his classroom.

“Yeah, your class is about to start. I don’t want you to be late,’ Sunoo replied.

“But I don’t wanna let you go yet.” Sunghoon stared at their intertwined hands as he swung them gently.

“An entire weekend with me wasn’t enough?” the younger teased.

“You know it wasn't,” he had a soft expression.

Sunoo leaned closer. “Wanna sleep over at my place tonight, then?” he whispered in a suggestive voice only Sunghoon could hear.

“Stop tempting me when you know I can't. That's mean,” the older scolded and backed away, but couldn’t stop his lips from curling into a smile.

“It's not my fault you have so many essays due this week,” he shrugged innocently. “What about the weekend, then?”

“Weekends are not even debatable. I'll make sure to finish everything I have to do by then.”

“Okay. You better go in now,” he pointed out.

“Alright. I’ll pick you up for lunch?” Sunghoon raised one eyebrow.

“No, I’ll pick you up for lunch,” Sunoo corrected.

“Okay,” he said with a silly smile. They had been dating for one day and he was already down bad for Sunoo (he had always been). “Bye…”

Sunghoon slowly walked backwards inside the classroom, letting go of Sunoo’s hand but avoiding the moment he would have to turn away from him. The boy noticed and giggled softly. Right before he turned around, Sunoo called him again.

“Hyung, wait,” he lunged forward, putting his hands on Sunghoon’s chest and standing on his tiptoes to press a peck on his lips.

The older was caught off guard, but automatically brought a hand to his waist and closed his eyes. Sunoo held his cheek and moved his head, deepening the kiss. He didn’t resist and forgot about his surroundings for a moment, but only until he heard his classmates loudly cheering in the background like a bunch of 5th graders. They broke the kiss, smiling, and Sunghoon couldn’t help feeling a little shy, but Sunoo seemed to be proud of it.

“Before you all ask, yes, we’re dating,” Sunghoon announced, turning toward the crowd. It felt so good to say it out loud.

“Yeah, no shit,” someone commented and the group erupted in laughter.

They chatted for a short while and most of his classmates expressed to be happy for them, except for one person. Ever since Sunoo had told Sunghoon about the way Taejun treated him, the older had never looked at him the same. At that moment, it was obvious the boy wasn’t exactly thrilled by the news.

“I’m gonna go now. Bye, hyung.” Sunoo kissed his cheek, making the older a little shy again. He walked away and stopped by the door. “You guys better take care of my boyfriend,” he joked.

“We will,” one of Sunghoon’s classmates replied.

Before walking out, Sunoo looked at Sunghoon one last time and gave a subtle smirk to another person in particular — Sunghoon didn’t have to follow his eyes to know who it was.

As they had planned, Sunoo waited for Sunghoon outside of his class and they went to the cafeteria together for lunch, hand in hand.

“Do you think we should tell the guys? You know, that we’re dating,” Sunghoon questioned.

Sunoo thought for a moment. “No. Let's not say anything and see how long it takes for them to realize it,” he said with a mischievous smile. 

“Who do you think will notice first?”

“Definitely Jungwon. And Riki.”

“Yeah, we can’t fool those two. The other three will take some time, I bet,” Sunghoon said and Sunoo agreed.

They picked up their lunch and headed toward their usual table. When they arrived, the boys were all already there. Jay glanced at their intertwined hands and up at Sunghoon before looking back at Jake, who was in the middle of his rant about his latest project.

They sat down and the conversation slowly came to an end, as everyone seemed to be interested in the two who had just arrived.

“So, how was the rest of the weekend?” Jungwon asked them with a subtle tone of mischief.

“Pretty good.” Sunoo shrugged. “We just studied and chilled.”

“What about Saturday at the club?” Riki asked.

It was a suspiciously specific question, but Sunoo didn’t want to do anything that would give them away, so he only replied in a calm manner. “What about it?”

“Are you sure you didn't do anything, hyung?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sunoo stated with his best nonchalant expression. 

“What do you mean, Riki?” Heeseung questioned.

“Well, rumor has it Sunoo made out with some hot guy at the club,” Riki said suggestively.

Sunoo felt everyone's eyes on him and froze for a second. He hoped he didn't let his surprise show.

“So?” Sunoo asked, defensive against the accusations. “People can't make out at clubs anymore?”

Jay, Heeseung and Jake subtly glanced at Sunghoon with a hint of worry, but the boy seemed to be avoiding their eyes.

“That's what clubs are for, but you should tell your friends about it,” Jungwon pointed out.

“Alright, I’ll tell you guys next time,” he said dismissively, hoping it would be enough, but of course they wouldn't let the topic die so soon.

“Who was it?” Riki asked.

“Um, I can’t say, we agreed not to tell anyone.”

“Was it one of your exes?” Jake asked.

“Oh my God. It wasn’t Yeonjun, was it?” Jay questioned.

“What? No!” Sunoo exclaimed. “I'd rather die alone than kiss that idiot again.”

“Okay, but give us something, we need to know more! What happened?”

“Fine,” Sunoo sighed. “Listen, I won't go into details, but we did a little more than just kissing,” he said with a subtle smile before taking a sip from his straw.

“Oooh,” the boys teased while Sunghoon subtly gave him a side eye.

“And how was he?” Jungwon asked.

“I guess you could say… the best I ever had,” Sunoo had a smug expression as he slowly mixed his drink with his straw.

The group once again erupted in teasing comments and Sunghoon failed to hold back a dumb grin.

“What’s that face, hyung?” Riki asked Sunghoon.

“What?” Sunghoon asked, his expression dropping so quickly he almost looked scared.

Sunoo could see his boyfriend’s ears burn as the group’s attention was suddenly on him. 

“You look like you know something,” Riki poked.

Sunghoon opened his mouth for a second, but nothing came out.

“Why would he know something?” Sunoo came to his rescue.

“Because he’s your best friend?” Jungwon retorted.

“Well, I don’t necessarily tell him everything.”

“Yeah, you do,” Riki commented like it was obvious.

“I mean, you guys were together all day yesterday,” Jay pointed out. “You can’t possibly have spent all that time together and not have talked about this guy at least once.” 

“Sunoo didn’t tell me about any guy,” Sunghoon finally said.

“See?” Sunoo shrugged. “Men isn’t all I talk about, okay?”

“Wait a minute,” Jake squinted his eyes. “Sunoo was with us all night. The only time he left was to dance with Sunghoon.”

“That’s right,” Jungwon agreed with a knowing smile, like he had been thinking that since the beginning of the conversation.

Heeseung widened his eyes. “Jake is right! That means Sunghoon definitely saw who it was!”

“Babe—” Jake sighed. “Nevermind, that’s exactly what I meant.”

“So, Sunghoon-hyung, didn’t you see who it was?” Riki asked with a daring look.

“Yeah, you guys stayed away for quite some time,” Jungwon pointed out. “You must have seen something.”

Sunoo knew Jungwon and Riki knew. The two had clearly known since the start of the conversation, as he had predicted. They had just been playing them this whole time and seemed to be having a lot of fun. There was no problem in admitting that Sunghoon and him were dating, they would all find out eventually, but he was also having fun with this little hiding game. Besides, it was now a matter of not letting Jungwon and Riki win; if Sunghoon played the right words, they could cover it for a while longer.

“No, actually. I left Sunoo alone on the dance floor for a while, I wasn’t with him the whole time,” Sunghoon explained. Technically, it wasn’t a lie. He had left to go to the restroom right before coming back (and nearly doing inappropriate things to Sunoo in the middle of the club).

“You left him alone when you knew Yeonjun was out there?” Jay frowned.

“No, that was before I knew he was there,” he explained and the group stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“Well, I guess Sunghoon-hyung can’t know everything,” Jungwon said, seeming to have given up on the topic. But Sunoo didn’t buy it; he knew Jungwon was too smart to let this go so easily. “So, hyung, do you intend to keep seeing this guy?” the boy asked Sunoo.

Although Sunoo had been expecting a new attack, the question caught him by surprise. “Uh… maybe.”

Jungwon was about to say something else when Sunghoon impulsively came in. “Maybe? You sounded like you really liked this guy before. Are you sure you don’t want to go out with him?” he asked, missing the smile on Jungwon’s lips.

“I…” Sunoo was stunned. Suddenly Jungwon’s seemingly innocent question made sense: it was supposed to hit Sunghoon — and it had worked. “I guess,” Sunoo wasn’t sure what else to say. He could only hope Sunghoon would realize it and go along with him.

“Well, you sounded a lot more sure before. What’s the problem? Is he not handsome enough?” Sunghoon questioned, seeming almost offended for the hypothetical guy. Jay, Jake and Heeseung gave him a weird look. He had never defended the guys Sunoo had been with before, it didn’t make sense for him to do it now.

“Yeah, he’s handsome. But he can be pretty dense and not realize the time to stop talking sometimes.” Sunoo shot him a glare, in a desperate attempt to make him understand.

But it was too late — Sunghoon was long lost. “Okay, he might be a little dumb, but he has a good heart, okay?”

“Oh my God,” Jake said, as someone who figured out the plot twist of a movie.

“Hyung, please, stop talking,” Sunoo told Sunghoon, his voice a little softer.

“Hyung, please , keep talking,” Riki contradicted with a grin, clearly having a blast.

“Am I missing something here?” Heeseung asked, confused.

“Does this mean what I think it means?” Jake asked Sunghoon.

He opened his mouth, seeming to finally understand what he’d done, but he knew it was too late to explain it. “Yeah,” he simply replied.

“ Sunghoon was the best you ever had?” Jay asked Sunoo, seeming as disgusted as he was shocked.

“Wait, Sunghoon is Sunoo’s mysterious kisser?” Heeseung came in, flabbergasted.

“Why is it so hard to believe I’m the best he’s ever had?” Sunghoon questioned.

“Because it’s you!” Jay explained.

“I’m a great kisser, okay?” He stood up and menacingly pointed his finger at Jay. “I’ll kiss you right now to prove it, if Sunoo allows me!” 

“I’ll allow it,” Jungwon commented nonchalantly.

“Jungwon!” Jay looked at him bewildered while Sunoo gave him a judgemental glance.

“What? Sunoo and I have kissed before, it’s only fair!” he tried to reason.

“That’s not how it works!”

“Okay, my boyfriend isn’t kissing anybody, especially not Jay-hyung,” Sunoo said. “No offense, hyung,” he added.

“Please, you just saved me,” Jay replied.

“Sit your butt down,” Sunoo whispered, pulling Sunghoon back to his seat.

“Wait, boyfriend? I thought you guys just made out,” Heeseung commented.

“At first, we did,” Sunoo said. “But then one thing led to another and I finally got him to confess.”

“Thank you!” Jay exclaimed. “Do you have any idea how long I had to listen to him whine about you? I’m so glad you did this, Sunoo.”

“Why are you thanking him? I’m the one who confessed!” Sunghoon complained.

“You might get the credit for confessing, but Sunoo gets the credit for accepting your dumb ass. I don’t know what I would do if I had to deal with your rejection arc,” Jay replied.

Sunoo wished they had hidden their relationship for a little while longer, just for fun, but at the same time he felt proud to announce it out loud. This was the boy he loved and admired the most; he wanted everyone to know that he belonged to him. Sunghoon would never be anyone else’s, he would make sure of it. 

Sunghoon had just left the shower and stared at the t-shirts spread on his bed. He was going to Sunoo’s house in an hour, he still had plenty of time to decide what to wear, but he wanted it to be perfect. It was just another weekend of sleeping over at each other’s houses, however it was their first weekend since they officially started dating.

He was planning to wear his most expensive perfume, which he knew was Sunoo’s favorite, and maybe part his hair in a different manner than he was used to. He knew Sunoo wouldn’t care that much about the way he looked, but that didn’t stop him from being self-conscious about giving the boy his best look. 

The phone rang with a notification and he quickly picked it up, hoping to see Sunoo’s name on the screen. Instead, he saw a message from Jay:

hey man

As much as he would love to reply to his friend, he was too busy getting ready to go to his boyfriend’s house and he didn’t want to be late. He would check his phone again in a few minutes to see what Jay wanted, but in the meantime, he would have to wait. And so, he ignored the few next notification sounds as he carefully chose his underwear (after all, if things went well, Sunoo would end up seeing it at some point).

A few minutes later, as he shaved his face clean, came the sound of knocking on the door. Had Sunoo come to his place? As far as he remembered, the boy had been very clear that the sleepover of that weekend was at his own apartment, and he was still early for the time they had scheduled.

Sunghoon quickly cleaned the shaving cream off his face and went to answer the door. But when he opened it, it wasn’t the person he was expecting.

“Jay?” Sunghoon asked confusedly.

“Hey, man. Can I come in?” the boy questioned.

“Uh, yeah.” He moved out of the way and Jay walked inside, going straight to sit on the couch. Sunghoon closed the door and joined him. “Is everything okay?”

“Not really,” Jay said with a slight grimace. “Jungwon is mad at me.”

“Done,” Sunoo whispered to himself as he finished removing his face mask. Sunghoon would be there in about an hour, which meant he still had plenty of time to finish applying the last part of his skincare, put on a nice outfit and do some last arrangements before his arrival.

Sunoo always liked to look pretty, but this was a special occasion. Sunghoon would sleepover at his place for the first time since they started dating. Anything could happen and he wanted to look his best.

He had showered, shaved, done his hair and spent almost an hour applying lotion and doing his skincare to make sure his skin was extra smooth that day. He had even prepared himself for other things, just in case Sunghoon wanted to take their makeout sessions to the next level — at least, he was hoping he would.

His phone rang in his bedroom and he went to pick it up. A single message from Jungwon read:

hey, are you home?  

Sunoo was home, but he wasn’t exactly available. He considered for a moment whether he should just reply “I can’t talk now”, but Jungwon could be having an emergency. He couldn’t give his back to his friend.

yeah, he replied. 

He was about to ask if everything was okay, but Jungwon’s answer came instantly, like he was only waiting for a confirmation.

good cause I’m in front of your apartment right now

open the door

Sunoo was stunned for a moment, but moved to answer the door. As soon as he opened it, a stressed-looking Jungwon stormed inside his living room.

“He’s unbelievable!” he exclaimed.

“Who?”

“Jay!” he replied as he dramatically threw himself on the couch.

Sunoo closed the door and sat down next to him. He didn’t even have to ask before Jungwon burst into details about the story of whatever Jay had done. The younger talked quickly and didn’t leave much room for interruptions, so Sunoo struggled a bit to keep up with all the information. Not too long into the story, Sunoo’s phone rang with a notification — the familiar sound of Sunghoon’s messages (he had set a special sound for him).

Subtly and without interrupting the boy who was still fervently going on his rant, Sunoo checked his phone.

hey, I might be a little late today

sorry

Sunoo internally sighed in relief. Since the older would be late, he could take his time to help Jungwon with his issue and still have enough time to finish getting ready for Sunghoon’s visit.

It’s okay, Jungwon is here and I’m not sure for how long he’ll stay , he typed.

Take your time

The app indicated that Sunghoon had read the messages, but didn’t reply. Sunoo didn’t think too much about it and turned his screen off, moving his attention back to Jungwon, who was so deep in his rant he didn’t seem to have noticed Sunoo had been on his phone at all.

About 3 minutes later, Sunoo was finally starting to understand the reason for his friends’ fight, if you could call it a fight (it was more Jungwon being mad at something Jay did and Jay not realizing why, which made Jungwon even more mad).

Then came a knock on the door. The two stopped and stared at each other before looking at the door in synchrony.

“Just a second.” Sunoo got up and moved towards the sound.

When he opened the door, the first thing he saw was a distressed-looking Jay.

“Where’s Jungwon?” he asked, agitated, before making his way inside.

The second thing Sunoo saw was a hesitant Sunghoon motionless in the hallway looking like the standing guy emoji. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt and sweatpants, and his hair was a bit messy, like he hadn’t had time to get ready before going there.

“Hi.” The older waved awkwardly. 

“Jay?” Jungwon’s angry voice interrupted them. “What are you doing here?” He got up from the couch.

“I came to see you. Sunghoon said you were here,” Jay replied.

“How did Sunghoon-hyung know I was here?” Jungwon asked, turning to Sunghoon, who had just walked inside looking scared.

“I… Sunoo told me,” the older explained in a small voice.

“Hyung!” Jungwon exclaimed at Sunoo.

“I didn’t know Jay was with him!” the boy tried to reason. He turned to his boyfriend and softly slapped his arm. “Why did you tell Jay?”

“I’m sorry!” Sunghoon defended himself. “He was worried sick about Jungwon. He was already thinking about reporting him missing to the police when he got to my apartment, I couldn’t keep this from him!”

“You could’ve just said he was fine without doxxing his location,” Sunoo argued.

“Jungwon, can we talk?” Jay’s eyes hadn’t left the boy since he’d arrived.

“We already did,” Jungwon said.

“But I don’t even know why you are mad.”

“Then maybe you should have thought a little more before coming to talk to me, don’t you think?” he spat back.

“Just give me another chance. I hate to see you mad at me,” he pleaded. When Jungwon didn’t reply, Jay added in a gentle voice, “baby, please.”

It was supposed to soften Jungwon and Sunoo could tell it was working. The boy’s eyes scanned Jay, as if calculating if it was worth it to listen to him, but his expression faltered for a second.

Jungwon pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes and sighed. “Fine,” he said reluctantly. “But no more calling me ‘baby’ until you’ve finished explaining yourself.”

He walked toward Sunoo’s bedroom and Jay followed suit, closing the door behind them and leaving the other couple alone in the living room.

“Let’s go,” Sunoo whispered, grabbing Sunghoon’s hand and pulling him along.

The younger pressed his ear against the door of his bedroom and Sunghoon copied the action, facing Sunoo. They stared at each other with a subtle smile on their faces as they focused on listening to the conversation on the other side. Despite being noisy people, Jay and Jungwon seemed to be making an effort to keep their voices down, so it wasn’t easy to understand what they were saying, but they still managed to make out a few muffled sentences:

“Wonnie, you know I…”

“Yeah, but I already told you...”

They couldn’t make out what Jungwon said next, but it was noticeable how whiny he sounded. After some more back and forth, they heard Jay talk. 

“Is that why my pookie bear was mad at me?” he said with a baby voice and the two boys behind the door had to hold their mouths to stop themselves from laughing.

A few more unintelligible sentences and noises followed.

“Jay, stop,” Jungwon giggled, “not here.”

After the last sentence, Jungwon became silent and they could only hear what Sunoo assumed were kissing noises.

The two backed away from the door and went back to the living room.

“So,” Sunghoon started, filling the silence, “you’re looking pretty cute. Getting ready to see your boyfriend?” he said with a mischievous smile and Sunoo was reminded of his current state — hair pushed back with a hairband, no make-up and what were his comfiest but ugliest pajamas.

He was used to looking like that around Sunghoon. He always felt comfortable to be himself around the older. Although he  liked to tease him, he never judged him for the things he liked or did and Sunoo knew he would still love him no matter how he looked.

Sunoo turned to him and stepped closer, putting his hands on Sunghoon’s chest. “Yeah. Do you think he’ll like it?”

“Oh, I bet he will,” he replied, holding Sunoo’s waist and pulling him closer.

Sunoo giggled. “Wanna help me finish getting ready for him?” he gazed up at him with an innocent look.

“I’ll do anything you want, baby,” Sunghoon stared at him with heart eyes.

“Anything, you say?”

A few minutes later...

“I know I said ‘anything’, but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Sunghoon said.

“I’m almost done,” Sunoo replied as he concentratedly applied serum on Sunghoon’s face.

They stood in the bathroom — Sunoo sat on the counter while Sunghoon stood in front of him between his legs with his hands pressed beside each side of Sunoo on the counter.

“You said that 10 minutes ago,” the older complained.

“You’re so exaggerated, that wasn’t even 5 minutes,” Sunoo rolled his eyes.

“Well, it felt like 10.”

They stayed silent for another while, but Sunoo knew it was just a matter of time until the annoyance started again. And he was right.

“Come on, baby,” Sunghoon whined. “How much longer will this take?” 

“If you keep complaining, it will take longer.” 

“You know I don’t have to subject myself to it, right?” 

“Oh, but you will,” Sunoo replied nonchalantly. 

Sunghoon’s eyes lit up with a mischievous glint and Sunoo knew he wouldn’t be able to finish his skin care in peace.

Suddenly, the older jolted forward and pecked his cheek. Sunoo tried to dodge, but Sunghoon was faster. He tightly held his hips and did it again and again, peppering kisses on his cheeks, his nose and his forehead.

“Stop,” Sunoo screamed, half laughing, unable to stop his attacks.

“Why?” Sunghoon asked in between kisses, having moved to his neck. 

Sunoo held his shoulder with one hand as the other still grasped the serum and finally managed to push him enough to make him stop. “Just,” he said, out of breath, “let me finish this part. Then I’ll kiss you.”

“I don’t have to obey you.” 

“You like to obey me,” Sunoo pointed out.

”And you like it when I disobey,” Sunghoon replied with a smug smile.

“I suggest you don’t,“ the younger said with a fake nice smile.

Sunghoon stared at him for a few seconds and his eyes told Sunoo he was in the mood for chaos.

“Fine, I’ll let you finish. You have 10 seconds,” Sunghoon stated calmly. 

“Or what?” 

“You’ll find out.” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow.

Sunoo was outraged. “You can’t put a countdown on me.”

“I’ll be nice and make it 15, starting now.” 

“What? You can’t do this. You really think I’m gonna—” 

“10 seconds left. You’re wasting time speaking,” Sunghoon interrupted him.

“That was not 5 seconds already. But that’s not even the point. You can’t make me finish things this fast, I’m doing this for your own sake and if you think—” 

“3, 2, 1. Time’s up.” Sunghoon said before abruptly taking the serum out of Sunoo’s hand, placing it on the counter behind him, and swiftly picking him up bridal style, as it made it harder for him to escape. 

As always, Sunoo let out a scream, but tightly wrapped his arms around his neck. “Sunghoon, you better put me down.” 

“Or what?” Sunghoon asked with a grin, walking them to the living room. “You have nothing on me right now.” 

“I might not have now, but wait until I get down.” 

“Come on, you love it when I manhandle you.” He kneeled one knee on the couch and laid Sunoo down, hovering over him and getting close to his ear. “Why don’t you just enjoy it instead of whining?” he whispered. 

“I–” Sunoo was outraged again, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “You would be in big trouble if I wasn’t so turned on right now.”

Sunghoon backed away enough to stare into his eyes. “What if I want to be in trouble?” 

“I’ll get you in trouble when we’re alone.”

“Come on, they are busy now,” Sunghoon said dismissively.

Sunoo scoffed. “Yeah, busy making out in our bed, probably.”

Sunghoon’s smile faltered, like something in Sunoo’s line had surprised him. “Did you just say ‘our bed’?”

Sunoo didn’t realize he had used the expression until Sunghoon pointed it out. “Uh, yeah. I mean, we both sleep in it, right?”

“Right,” the older said with a silly smile.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just… I never thought a bed would be ‘ours’,” he explained, suddenly shy.

Deep down, Sunoo felt the same. For a long time, he didn’t even consider Sunghoon could be more than his friend, but even after he developed feelings for him, he still hadn't realized that they would share things that way; that the bed they slept in would be “their” bed. They still lived in separate apartments, but he didn’t want his bed to be only his anymore. He loved to think that it also belonged to Sunghoon now and that he would never share it with anyone but him.

“Actually, me neither,” Sunoo smiled softly. He couldn’t even remember he was mad at Sunghoon a few seconds before. Without thinking, he slipped his arms around Sunghoon’s neck. “You know, you can consider it our room too, if you want. Our apartment.”

“Isn’t the apartment too much, though?” the older laughed. “I’d have to move in to earn it.”

Sunoo’s heart skipped a beat at the thought. His smile faltered and Sunghoon noticed it, but before he could say anything, Sunoo spoke again.

“Let’s do it,” he said, decidedly.

“What?”

“Let’s move in together.”

Sunghoon was struck. He blinked and stared at Sunoo, as if he wasn’t sure if Sunoo was being serious.

“I know we’ve only been dating for a week, but… I mean, we’ve known each other for years, it’s different,” the younger tried to argue.

Sunghoon’s silence was disquieting and it made him want to explain himself. Was he pushing it too far? What if he scared Sunghoon with the idea? He was his best friend, but that didn’t stop him from being afraid of messing it up.

“We— we don’t have to do it now!” Sunoo continued, softly pushing Sunghoon and sitting up. “I just mean we’re close enough that we could make it work, if we tried! We’re practically living together, if you consider that we always have sleepovers on the weekends, and I know that living together is different and demands effort from both sides, but I’m ready to try it with you. I want—”

Before Sunoo could finish his rant, Sunghoon held his nape and pulled him in for a kiss. The gentle touch of his fingertips and the press of his lips against his swept away all the troubles in Sunoo’s mind.

When they backed away, Sunghoon gazed at him fondly. “Let’s do it. Let’s move in together.”

It was Sunoo’s turn to be stunned.

When he looked at Sunghoon, he saw his best friend — the boy who had the stupidest jokes, who loved to poke fun at him; the one who had seen him at his best and loved him at his worst. No one knew him better in the entire world, and yet, he felt shy. Sometimes being with Sunghoon felt so homely, so natural and safe, he forgot that this was the same boy who could give him a thousand butterflies just by staring at him for too long.

“Okay,” Sunoo answered quietly. “Let’s do it.”

“After the exchange program would be good timing, what do you think?”

“Yes! Yes, it would be perfect!” Sunoo agreed. He could barely contain his giddiness. The idea of moving in with Sunghoon, of waking up next to him every day, and the fact that he agreed to it so easily, it was like a dream. He had so much to say, but it was as though words couldn't express enough, so he only stared at him for a moment and said, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Sunghoon said back, just as endeared.

Sunoo pulled his chin and kissed his lips, light and slow. Slowly, he climbed on his lap, straddling his hips. They could never keep things soft for too long; when it came to Sunghoon’s touch, Sunoo was always eager for more. The older held his hips, guiding him closer as they kissed, and Sunoo loved the feeling, so much so he didn’t realize they were getting a bit too close.

Not even a minute in, Sunghoon whimpered and, for a moment, Sunoo remembered they weren’t alone in the apartment.

He stopped the kiss, but remained close. “Keep it down. They might hear us,” he whispered.

“They’re too busy to hear us now,” the older whispered back, stealing a peck.

“I won’t take the risk.”

Sunghoon grabbed his legs and turned them around, pinning Sunoo to the couch and hovering over him once again; it sent a wave of electricity through his body. The older pecked his lips, making a wet sound. “I will.”

He kissed him again, deep and slow, and Sunoo gave in, no resistance left in his body. The boy wrapped his arms around his neck and moved along his pace. Sunghoon was right, Jay and Jungwon were too busy to hear them and they would probably take some more time to leave the room.

The older kept his body still; he nipped his lips and invaded his mouth quietly, tasting Sunoo as if he had all the time in the world and no rush to stop. They were quiet, but Sunoo felt his entire body light up.

The younger couldn’t tell how much time had passed when he heard a voice near them.

Jay cleared his throat. “Excuse us.”

The two boys on the couch stopped and looked at the two standing up, frozen in place.

“Are we interrupting something?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, actually,” Sunghoon replied, inconvenienced, as Sunoo pushed him away and the two sat up.

“I told you we should’ve just left them here, they wouldn’t even notice,” Jungwon told Jay.

“Well, they shouldn’t have started making out when there’s other people in the apartment.”

“Like you two weren’t making out in our bedroom a few minutes ago,” Sunoo scoffed.

“You could hear that?” Jay asked.

“You pookie bears aren’t as quiet as you think,” Sunghoon commented and Sunoo cackled.

The two boys standing exchanged a look, their cheeks turning pink.

“Jay is the one who came up with that,” Jungwon accused, pointing a finger at his boyfriend.

“Don’t even start, you love it when I call you that,” Jay defended himself and turned to the other two boys. “Also, you guys made out on my couch first.”

“Okay, we're even,” Sunoo admitted. 

“Now that we’re all here, what do you say we order some food?” Sunghoon suggested. Not a single one of them could refuse the offer.

And just like that, the two couples spent the rest of the night watching movies, eating and talking. It wasn’t what Sunoo had planned, but it reminded him of the old days, two years ago, when it was only the four of them; back when they had no idea how strong their bond would grow and how close they would become.

When Jay and Jungwon left, Sunoo was too sleepy to think about doing anything other than sleep, just like Sunghoon. They brushed their teeth and climbed into bed.

Sunoo turned to the side and Sunghoon instinctively closed his arms around him — their bodies fit into each other like no other. Before drifting off to sleep, Sunoo wondered how he could have spent all that time looking for comfort in other men’s arms when Sunghoon had embraced him the warmest all along.