Chapter Text
*Republic city, Asami’s apartment*
“I am only loyal to Commander Guan.”
“Don’t touch me!”
“Don’t pretend you care about me….”
“You are my enemy!”
Asami jolted awake in bed in a cold sweat. After getting her breathing under control she thought back through what she thought was a nightmare, but had seemed too real. Almost like she was reliving a memory. A memory most likely from when she was brainwashed by Commander Guan.
That whole time was upsetting for Asami. Not only did she lose entire days of her life that she cannot remember or get back, but she knew that she had said or done something to Korra during that time that hurt her. Based on lack of injuries to Korra, Asami had to assume it had been something she had said to cause the mix of hurt and sadness in her eyes Asami had momentarily seen when she first asked and had seen several times since. But if that memory – more like nightmare – was true, she now had a good idea what it was.
Even though Korra had said she wanted to put it behind them, Asami could not help but feel guilty about it. It would be very easy for herself to move on from it as she had no recollection about that time, but she knew Korra had lived through it and therefore might not easily forget even if she didn’t hold it against her. Asami just had to know for sure what all happened. She had to know what all she had said and done, especially to Korra to cause the hurt and sadness in her beautiful blue eyes. She decided to try asking Korra again next time she saw her and see if she would finally tell her herself. If not, she would see about making a little visit to talk to Bataar Jr. in Zaofu.
And Kuvira, she thought before sighing and laying back down. She still hadn’t forgiven the former Uniter for killing her father, but she couldn’t deny how much help she had been with capturing Commander Guan and reversing the brainwashing he had done. Maybe she would be willing to help with this also, but maybe as more of a last resort. She couldn’t risk though having Korra find out incase it would lead to a fight about it. She didn’t want to risk causing anymore hurt then she had already done.
*Air Temple Island*
In the morning she got on the first ferry over to Air Temple Island so she could talk to Korra. She stifled a yawn as she thought back over everything that had happened. Asami had barely slept after laying back down so she had just laid there and planned out in her head how to best approach the subject with Korra.
Asami took a deep breath and slowly let it out, feeling her anxiety building more and more the closer she got to the island. She tried to keep it under control so as not to cause any alarm to Korra when she saw her. Once the ferry pulled into the dock she got off and went straight for Korra’s room knowing full well it was most likely where she would be since she still hated being up early. As she walked through the temple, she passed the dining hall and glanced in, not at all surprised to see Tenzin, Pema, and the kids all eating breakfast minus Korra. Tenzin happened to look up and see her, raising a hand in greeting.
“Good morning Asami. What brings you here this morning?” he asked.
The rest of the family looked over at her and voiced their greetings as well.
Asami smiled and gave a small bow of her head. “Good morning everyone. Sorry to disturb you, but I’m here to see Korra about something.”
Tenzin smiled before pointing down the hall. “She’s still in bed sleeping I’m sure. Maybe one of these mornings she’ll actually wake at a decent hour,“ then he got thoughtful for a second, “although I have been saying and wishing that for a few years now and it still hasn’t happened.”
Ikki rolled her eyes before looking back to Asami. “Why are you here this early to see Korra? Didn’t you just hang out almost all day with her yesterday?” she asked.
Pema sighed while shaking her head. “Ikki that’s not exactly a nice way to ask you know. Plus, it doesn’t matter why she wants to see Korra since they’re dating each other. You don’t see your father or me complaining about how often Jinora is with Kai.”
Jinora blushes at that. "How did I get dragged into this?," she asks slightly indignantly before ducking her head and resuming eating while her siblings laughed about it.
“Moms got a point Jinora. You and Kai spend more time together then Korra and Asami do, which honestly is only possible because of the fact they aren’t living together yet, while you and Kai all but are since you’re on the same island at least,” Ikki said.
“Yeah exactly, what Ikki said,” agreed Meelo before he turned back to Asami. “Speaking of that, when are you the two of you finally going to do it and live together? Weren’t you practically dating the entire time before the incident with Zaheer, so you shouldn’t have to wait as long?”
Both Pema and Tenzin looked at Meelo in shock, with Pema the first to speak with slight annoyance in her voice. “Meelo that’s not how things like that work. They have to slowly build towards that at their own pace. Once both of them are ready then they will. You can’t just rush into things like that,” then she added quieter and under her breath, “no matter how great they are together or how long everyone’s been waiting for it.” Tenzin heard that last part and started choking on his tea.
Asami had been smiling and lightly laughing at the whole family exchange, and quickly changed to worry as she looked at Tenzin. “Are you okay Tenzin? What happened?”
Tenzin coughed a couple times and waved off her concern. “Nothing, just went down the way is all. Happens every now and then.”
Asami nodded and waited for him to stop coughing before looking to the rest of the family. “Alright well I’m going to go see about waking Korra up. See you all later.” She waved before turning back down the hall and walking again towards Korra’s room. She could already picture how she would find her girlfriend sleeping as it rarely ever changed when she slept alone. The covers would be mostly kicked off, with one leg hanging halfway off the bed, one arm flung over her eyes, and the other arm either hanging off the bed or laid across her stomach. AKA her most effective alarm at waking herself up as she would feel her stomach growling both internally and through her arm. Asami had noticed she mostly ended up with her arm like that on her stomach if she had had a late night snack before bed or snuck out at some point in the night for one.
Asami reached Korra’s room and slowly opened the door enough to step in and then close it again. When she turned around, she was surprised to find Korra actually sleeping in a way Asami would call normal. She was laying on her side with her back to the door facing the window. Asami frowned as she quietly walked around to the other side of the room. She was curious as to why Korra was sleeping like this when she never did alone. As soon as she had walked far enough to see, she smiled softly and her eyes got a little teary.
Korra was snuggling the stuffed owl bear Asami had won for her at the festival in Harmony Park. Asami had also now picked up the familiar scent of perfume she usually wore and looked over, seeing a bottle of it on the table by the dresser. She wiped her eyes and then slowly made her way to the side of the bed, kneeling in front of Korra, then slowly leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek.
Korra sighed happily but didn’t open her eyes as she kissed the stuffed owl on its head causing Asami to laugh which finally woke Korra up.
Korra blinked her eyes a couple times before smiling at Asami. “Hey babe! What are you doing here?”
Asami smiled back before leaning in again to give Korra a proper kiss. “I had some free time this morning so I decided to come and see you,” she hesitated before continuing, “and to ask you a question.”
Korra sat up, fully awake and looking at Asami with a mix of concern and confusion. “Okay. What’s on your mind?”
Asami took a deep breath and quickly gathered her thoughts while she sat on the bed before speaking. “I had a series of quick short dreams last night. Well, more like nightmares really. Very realistic ones in fact which is what makes them even scarier,” she added with a humorless chuckle at the end.
Korra frowned in even more confusion now. “Ooooookay. I’m kinda having a hard time seeing a question here,” she said with a slight laugh.
Asami hesitated before looking Korra in her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes, and pushing ahead. “I think they were from when I was brainwashed by Commander Guan.”
Korra’s eyes widened, but also for a split second that she would’ve missed had she not been looking right into her eyes, Asami again had seen the mixed looked of hurt and sadness pass. She sighed before telling Korra in full detail how each one had played out in her mind, with her obviously seeing everything from her own point of view in them. After she had finished, she sat and waited to see what Korra would say or possibly do next as she had remained silent through the whole telling. Her face - in particular her eyes – had taken on a neutral look as she had told her everything. The stuffed toy was laying on the bed forgotten.
After what seemed like hours – but was really only several seconds – Korra sighed before looking down at her hands. “What’s your question Asami?”
“Similar to the question I had asked you back in Zaofu. What all did I say and do while I was brainwashed?”
Korra sighed again, this one sounding almost defeated before looking up at Asami. “I told you, it doesn’t matter. I just want to put the whole thing behind us and move on. Please.”
Asami looks at Korra, seeing the plea in her face as well as hearing it before shaking her head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you to do that.”
Korra now got an annoyed look on her face as she stood up. “And whys that? I more then willing to put it behind us so how would it be unfair to me?”
Asami stood up in an attempt to calm things down. “Because I can’t remember any of it! So if I do what you say and move on I’ll most likely be easily able to do it. But then you’ll still have the memories of everything that happened during it.”
Korra threw her hands up in the air. “And what’s the problem with that?” she yelled.
“Because you’ll still have the hurt flashing through your eyes!” Asami yelled back causing Korra to flinch and once again for the mixed look to cross her eyes causing Asami to sigh and gesture with her hand before continuing in a softer tone, “Just like it did now. I saw it the first time when I asked in Zaofu and I’ve seen it a few times since whenever I sometimes go to say something. I even think I noticed it once when I put the glove on for one of our sparring sessions before you asked me to spar without it. I didn’t think anything of it when you asked, just thought you wanted a more physical sparring session. But now I know the real reason why I think.” She looked at Korra sadly before quietly adding, “I even noticed you flinch whenever I sometimes reach for you hand, like you're afraid I might slap your hand away or something.”
Asami felt her eyes tear up before asking, barely above a whisper, "Am I right?"
Korra had taken to looking at the floor while Asami talked, her hands tightly clenched at her sides. At Asami’s question though, she finally relaxed her hands and sighed before giving a slight nod.