Archive of Our Own ^beta

Eliot Spencer wasn't afraid of anything. He'd gone up against Ugandan terrorists trying to overthrow the power of the people on the downlow. He'd taken out a handful of North Korean mobsters without breaking a sweat. He'd gone up against The Butcher and lived to tell the tale. He'd come out of leaving Damien Moreau unscathed and even left him rotting in tombs to die alone and out of power.

Eliot Spencer wasn't afraid of anything.

Except Nana.

That's right, Hardison and Breanna's foster mother scared the piss out of Eliot. She was a foot shorter than him, overweight by an amount that was none of his damn business, had arthritis and hypertension and Hardison had told him she'd suffered from diabetes for most of her life, but she could wield a frying pan like a motherfucker, both on the stove and as a weapon when she needed to.

Eliot had witnessed it first hand.

That's why he waited until he was two beers, a pre-game Jack and four cups of Nana's special holiday punch (the adult one in the blue bowl was spiked...Eliot was pretty sure with Everclear or Southern Comfort, probably both) that Breanna kept plying him with, goading him into drinking it saying he couldn't handle it...damn siblings goading him into shit knowing he couldn't turn down a challenge...until he cornered her in the kitchen. Most of the people who'd come to her late Thanksgiving Lovegiving celebration (because Hardison got Parker on a kick about Native Americans and the actual goings on that happened at the First Thanksgiving and she refused to come if it was called that) had already left to go back home and Nana was in the kitchen making plates of leftovers for everyone to take home, wrapping them with care in her best Stackman disposable containers she kept a stash of in her cabinet, making sure she wrote out instructions on how to heat it up in the microwave (even though Eliot knew for sure not one of those assholes left sitting in the living room would care to glance at it before they shoved it in the microwave and nuked it to within an inch of its life).

Clearing his throat, Eliot leaned against the doorway casually, half because he was a lot more tipsy than he wanted to admit, half because he thought if she broke down and grabbed a frying pan he could turn and run (he was pretty sure all of them were currently in the sink soaking, even though Eliot had warned her once that you didn't need to do that with cast iron...it hadn't ended well and Eliot had been given the cold shoulder by the tiny woman for half a year before he got back in her good graces, but he couldn't be sure that she didn't have a spare one squirreled away just to beat him with if she needed to).

"You come to tell me how to do my damn washing again?" She asked, without looking back at him.

"No, ma'am." Eliot said, keeping his voice affable. "Just wondering if you were still mad at me."

"You're damn right I'm still mad at you!" She whirled around and glared at him and he held his hands up instinctively. He wasn't sure if he was squaring up to defend himself or showing that he wasn't trying to be aggressive.

"What'd I do?" He asked. "I have no idea. I haven't tried to piss you off in any way since the whole pie debacle when I suggested a little nutmeg..." Nana's eyes narrowed and he backtracked. "I was wrong, of course I was wrong, how dare I even...I don't know what I'm saying, of course you know best. I've not been cooking nearly as long as...that's not me calling you old ma'am, I swear, I'm just trying to say..."

"What the hell are you in here for?" Nana asked, cutting off his rambling.

Eliot never rambled.

"I want to know what I did wrong so I can fix it." He blurted out, running his fingers through his hair.

"Fifteen years!" She exclaimed. "Fifteen goddamn years!"

"Fifteen goddamn years what?!" Eliot threw his hands up.

He wasn't drunk enough for this.

"You've known my Hardison for fifteen years, Parker the same, and they got their heads out of their asses and got together." Nana pointed at him. "And there you are, off on the side, mooning over them like some badly dressed cow instead of growing a pair of balls and going after what you want."

Eliot looked down at himself. He was in dark wash jeans, a white button up and a black vest. He had on a fresh black belt and he'd scrubbed his nice black dress boots and put a fresh coat of wax on them the night before.

"This shirt is Cucinelli!" He protested. "The boots are..."

Nana scoffed and waved a hand at him. "Are you even listening to me?"

"What do you want me to do? Hardison and Parker are practically married. They don't need me nosing into all of that." Eliot said, throwing his hands up. "Besides, are you really suggesting a relationship like that?"

"That's exactly what they need, you dumbass hilbilly!" Nana pointed out. "Do you think they've just been looking at you like a co-worker for fifteen years. How many times has Parker changed in front of you?"

"Way too many times." Eliot mumbled.

"And how many times has Hardison invited you out to Comic Con or one of his other things?" Nana asked.

"Way too many ti...wait, are you trying to tell me they were trying to..." Eliot started.

"Now he gets it." Nana turned to continue what she was doing. "Damn, it's good you're pretty and good with your hands, because, baby, if brains were leather, you wouldn't have enough to saddle a june bug."

Eliot's jaw dropped open. "What was I supposed to think? I saw them getting closer, Hardison's always been gone on Parker, so I stepped back..."

"You ever heard of polyamory?" Nana looked over her shoulder at him.

"Yes...ma'am." Eliot tacked on when she narrowed her eyes at him. He was still afraid of what was in that sink to her right.

"You still got an argument?" Nana asked.

"What am I supposed to do?" Eliot asked. "As you so kindly pointed out it's been fifteen years."

Nana threw a fork at him and Eliot barely ducked out of the way of it.

"Am I supposed to do all the work for you? I don't know. Just fix it." Nana said. "Do something so all three of you can finally be fully happy."

"Well that was insightful." Eliot mumbled under his breath.

Nana threw another fork at him.

"Stop throwing cutlery at me!" He exclaimed.

She shot him a death glare. "Fix. It." She said pointedly. She slid a stack of Stackmans over and gestured to them. "Take those and get out of here. They're for the people I like only! Maybe if you give me some results next time you're here, I'll think about giving you leftovers."

Eliot walked over and scooped the containers up, balancing them precariously. He took a chance and leaned in, kissing her cheek. "Thank you, Nana." He said.

He was half out of the room when she replied. "You're welcome, baby."

On the way back, they dropped Breanna off at a townhouse in Wicker Park before continuing on to Lincoln Square to the loft apartment Hardison had for them. It was an interesting concept, small, but they didn't need a lot of space. The living room and meager kitchen were one large room, with a couch that had absolutely no back support except the wall behind it, along with a coffee table that you had to lean over too far to reach, along with a lounger that was made out of some kind of dark faux leather. The kitchen being small was an understatement. It had a gigantic fridge, and an L shaped counter that had a stove top and a sink on opposite ends and across from that was a small counter space for some kind of fancy coffee equipment and four cabinets Eliot had to embarrassingly step up on a step stool to reach.

Eliot hated it.

He'd slept on the couch the first night there, but Hardison told him that night he could have the bed.

They took turns showering, Parker first, walking out in a black shirt that barely covered her thighs that said Geek Is The New Sexy. Hardison went next because he took advantage of Eliot looking Parker over. When he came out in a towel to grab his sleep shorts, Eliot almost swallowed his tongue. He quickly walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, closing his eyes. He took a quick shower, just long enough to get clean and threw on some sweatpants, heading out into the loft. He heard Hardison and Parker down on the main area and glanced down at them since the whole place was open concept. He watched them like a creep for several long minutes before deciding to get on with it, ignoring Nana's voice in his head calling him a dumbass coward.

He cleared his voice and called out. "You know, we could all share the bed."

There was a pregnant pause before Hardison called back. "We don't have to do that."

"What if I want to?" Eliot asked.

"Are you sure?" Hardison asked.

Before Eliot could say anything, he heard Parker smack Hardison and mumble something quietly before she bounded up the stairs, making him smile. Hardison reluctantly followed and he raised an eyebrow at Eliot.

"What's this about?" He asked.

Eliot climbed on the bed, sitting on his calves. "What do you think?"

"Sexy time?" Parker blurted out in her blunt way.

"If you want to." He said, trying not to look too worried or hopeful either way.

Parker and Hardison shared a look and Parker got on the bed, mimicking Eliot's pose before Hardison followed her. She leaned over and kissed him warmly before leaning over and doing the same to Eliot. The first touch of her lips on his was magical and he fought the urge to tug her closer. He pulled back when he felt Hardison moving and he watched as Hardison pulled her shirt over her head, sending it sailing over his shoulder and he leaned down and took one of her nipples in his mouth while Eliot kissed her again, running his hand up and down her bare back, causing her to shiver.

Parker pulled back and pushed Hardison down on his back and sent Eliot her version of what he figured was a coy look while Hardison stripped out of his shorts. Eliot only got a second to enjoy the show before Parker was moving to take Hardison's length down her throat.

It was then that he realized she was completely naked then.

He knew an invitation when he saw one and as Parker was giving Hardison what sounded like a hell of a blowjob, he moved to his knees and gazed at Parker's slit and puckered ass for a few seconds before he dove in. He reached his tongue out as far as he could and rubbed it over her clit and down to her asshole a few times, causing her to moan around Hardison's length, in turn causing him to moan over the unrestrained sounds she was making going up and down his shaft.

Parker's pussy tasted better than any haute cuisine Eliot had ever tasted and he put his hand on her hip, holding onto her like she was something precious as he dove in, voraciously eating her out. At one point, Hardison reached back and held his head to Parker's pussy and Eliot could've sent his dick through the mattress if it wasn't confined in his sweats still. He ate her out for a few more minutes before Hardison pulled him back.

"Get in her, man." He said huskily.

"Are you sure?" Eliot asked, feeling Parker's juices all over his face. From the way Hardison eyed him, pupils blown wide, he loved what he was seeing.

"She's only wanted it since the mountain thing." Hardison said, groaning and pumping his hips up off the bed.

"That long? Shit..." Eliot mumbled. He reached over to the bed side table and grabbed out a condom (he was always prepared like any other good boy scout...which he never had been), ripping it open with his teeth, rolling the condom on slowly, gingerly after he ripped his sweats off impatiently.

"Go on in, she likes it that way." Hardison said and Eliot wondered if Parker liked to be talked about like that, but by the way she was steadily dripping on the sheets, he had a feeling she didn't mind.

Eliot eased inside of her, not going slow, but not ramming in either and he almost lost his load at the feel of it. He threw his head back with a grunt as her walls squeezed his length and released him a few times before he finally bottomed out. He put one hand on her ass to steady himself and reached the other one out, putting it on Hardison's well defined pec. He squeezed both gently before snapping his hips in one experimental time. When Parker made a sound like a crazed cat Eliot figured that was a good thing and did it again. He built up a speed until he was fucking the shit out of her, and Parker was taking it like the good girl she was, never wavering on sucking Hardison's dick. She had her hand dug into Hardison's thigh, but from the way Hardison looked almost euphoric, he didn't mind at all.

Eliot pulled back eventually, coming too close to ending things and he selfishly didn't want that to happen. Parker sent him a disappointed look but Hardison scooped her up, easing her down on his dick. It was one of the hottest things Eliot had ever seen and he had to busy himself with stripping off his condom before he did something embarrassing. Laying down beside Hardison, Parker proved how bendy she was and took him in her mouth, causing him to let out a loud groan.

Eliot put one hand in her hair, fisting it into a ponytail at the base of her skull so he could watch her devour his length like her life depended on it, her eyes closed in concentration. The look of her lips wrapped around his dick almost had Eliot pushing up against her thrusts, but he held himself still, even if his ass clenched with the effort. He wrapped his free arm around Hardison's shoulders, tugging him into his side.

"Goddamn." Eliot mumbled.

"Goddamn is right, my man." Hardison said, bumping Eliot's hand in some weird fist bump kind of way that almost made him laugh. "Just think, we could've been doing this for fifteen years."

"Don't fuckin' remind me!" Eliot groaned, biting his lip. "Fuck, Parker! Shit! Where'd you learn to suck dick like that?"

"Don't question it, just enjoy." Hardison nudged him.

Eliot looked over at him and leaned in, kissing him hungrily. It made both men groan and they got lost in it, their tongues dueling with each other languidly, like there was no rush in things. They took turns, one of them in Parker's pussy, the other in Parker's mouth, for a while until Parker demanded more. Eliot wasn't exactly sure what to do then, but Parker saved him the effort of thinking about it as she slid down on his dick once she'd pushed him onto his back, his head half hanging off the side of the bed. Hardison moved behind her and before Eliot could process what was happening, he felt Hardison's length sliding in beside his own.

"Shit! Fuck!" Eliot exclaimed, digging his fingers into Parker's ass. Hardison's were already there and they clinched their fingers together as Hardison worked up a rhythm for the both of them since Eliot's brain was rebooting.

"Look at you, Parker." Hardison said, and Eliot wouldn't admit even under torture how sexy his sex voice was, deeper than normal (which Eliot didn't know was possible), and confident in a way that didn't niggle at the back of his brain. "Damn, baby...being my good girl like this...Eliot's good girl..."

"I like being a good girl for you two..." Parker mumbled against Eliot's neck, causing him to shiver. Her tits were brushing against his muscular pecs and it was a lot of stimulation for Eliot all at once.

"Always a good girl." Eliot managed, figuring out pretty quick that one of Parker's kinks was praise. He could work with that. He just hoped he could talk her into a little role play sometimes to return the favor. One of his favorites was...

"Except when I like being the bad girl." Parker mumbled, catching his attention. "We break out the cuffs for that and I show Hardison he can't find a way to keep me in them and then I put them on him..."

"That's always a damn good time." Hardison mumbled.

Eliot almost bucked the three of them off the bed. As it was, Hardison had to lean into Parker's back a bit to keep from flying.

"You can't say shit like that to me right now!" Eliot growled.

"Why not?" Parker asked.

"Because it's...it's..." Eliot stuttered over his words.

"Because he's so turned on right now he's about to bust his nut all up in you, mama." Hardison grinned smugly.

All three of them were covered in sweat at this point and Eliot figured it had been pointless to shower. They were also going to have to either sleep on the stripped bed or go downstairs anyway.

Hardison looked over at Eliot and grinned. "Do you know what Parker can do?"

"What?" He asked, although his urge was to say 'everything'.

"Do it, mama." He said. "Show him."

Eliot wondered what he meant by that, but a few seconds later Parker let out a loud whining noise and he felt his lap get soaked. He almost thought that Parker had wet herself on him, but then he realized what it was.

"Holy shit!" He blurted out, wide eyed. "Holy shit!"

"Never saw a woman do that, have you?" Hardison asked.

"I thought it was a myth." Eliot admitted.

Hardison laughed. "Not a myth." He said, rubbing Parker's arms as she came down from her orgasm.

Hardison pulled out of Parker then and pulled her off of Eliot.

"What the fuck..." He started.

He pulled Eliot off the bed to stand and Parker dropped between them. Eliot got the hint pretty quickly as Parker moved between them, sucking one off, then the other. Hardison reached out to grab Eliot's arm and Eliot bore his eyes in him, both of them staring intently at each other. Eliot felt his orgasm creeping up on him and he was about to warn Parker, but she deep throated him and Eliot yelled out as he felt himself come down her throat. She took every drop and he fought the urge to call her a good girl, even though he knew she'd probably love it. She then moved over to Hardison and Eliot watched Hardison have his own orgasm. His face was open and honest in a way that he kept close to his chest a lot and to Eliot he never looked more beautiful.

Once they'd all showered and haphazardly dried off, they made their way downstairs, still gloriously naked, and laid down on the couch, getting close. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but all three of them were too tired and boneless to care and they drifted off easily.

The next morning Eliot threw on an apron and cooked up a mess of bacon, scrambled eggs, chocolate chip pancakes, blueberry waffles, poured glasses of juice and a glass of milk for Parker. It was overkill, he knew, but he was starving and he banked on the fact that Hardison and Parker would be, too.

Hardison woke up as soon as the smell of coffee permeated the room and he got up, naked as the day he was born, and plopped down at the small table near the kitchen, piling food onto his plate, covering it all with maple syrup while doctoring his coffee to be more creamer and sugar than actual coffee.

Eliot walked over, clutching his own cup of coffee, and shook Parker. "Parker, breakfast, baby..." He said.

Parker grunted and waved a hand at him, turning her head away from him.

Eliot smirked and shook his head. "Chocolate chip pancakes and blueberry waffles." He said. He had to move back as Parker sat up quickly, otherwise he would've been on the receiving end of a broken nose. She was up and out of bed quickly and he playfully spanked her ass, causing her to let out a yelp and he laughed as she took a half-hearted swipe at him.

Breakfast was a normal affair, except for the fact that they were all naked. They swiped at each other, Hardison and Eliot bickered at each other in the non-threatening way they did, Eliot wheedled Parker into eating some bacon and eggs to fill her up more than the syrup covered monstrosity she had on her plate, even though he'd made it and knew it was as healthy as he could make it.

He even had real maple syrup.

Once they got their fill, the three of them dressed and before Eliot could pick up the bags to start taking them out, Parker wrapped her arms around his neck. "So like...that wasn't..."

"It was me getting my head out of my ass." Eliot put his hand on her waist. "It was me saying I...no longer want to stay on the sidelines."

"So am I allowed to say I love you now and mean it in more than just a friend way?" Parker asked.

A grin split out on Eliot's face and he leaned in and kissed her, even though she tasted like maple syrup and orange juice. "I love you, too, darlin' and not in a friend way."

Parker smiled back brightly and pulled back, skipping off.

Hardison smirked from where he was leaning against the railing of the bedroom, his arms folded over his chest. "So it's like that then?"

"It's been fifteen years." Eliot pointed out. "You don't think it's too soon still, do you?"

"Naw, man." Hardison stood straight and started down the stairs. "It's about damn time."

"Love you, too." Eliot said, rolling his eyes fondly. Was this how it was going to be now? Was Hardison never going to annoy him again?

Did he ever annoy him in the first place?

Shit it was too early to think about it.

When he got to the bottom of the stairs, Hardison surprised him and pulled him into a kiss. "Love you." He said quietly, almost shyly, and before Eliot could think about it, Hardison walked off, calling out to Parker to help him make sure he had all his cords and cables gathered up.

They picked up Breanna, who was whistling Closer by Tegan and Sara as she got in the back. She stopped and looked between the three of them with a narrow eyed expression for a few seconds and Eliot squirmed in the passenger seat, turning to look out the window incase he did something embarrassing like blush. He caught Breanna's eye in the side view mirror and she just smirked and went back to whistling.

They went by Nana's to bid goodbye to her and Eliot watched as Breanna, Parker and Hardison hugged her goodbye, making promises that they'd be back as soon as they could, which was an open ended statement, but it was something close to the truth. Nana caught his eye as they dispursed and she jerked her head and Eliot followed her to the kitchen. She loaded him up with Stackmans and he beamed widely, knowing that he finally got her approval. "I'll see you later, ma'am." He said, nodding his head.

"Call me Nana." She said, squeezing his arm.

"Ok...Nana." He said, feeling something akin to giddiness as he walked out to the SUV they were driving. It had been a great weekend and he'd be riding that high all the way back to New Orleans.

As he got in, Hardison whooped as he settled his Stackmans by his feet. "You finally got accepted!"

"I guess I did." Eliot said, shrugging casually. He looked back at Parker, pointing at her. "Don't steal my food either."

"Don't steal my food either." Parker mocked and they devolved into squabbling as Hardison pulled away, heading toward the airport.