Chapter Text
Batman frowned as he walked into the room and took in his surroundings. Several food wrappers were strewn about the area, and there were even a few cluttering up the main console. Slowly his eyes followed the trail of snacks, before he finally located the source of the mess. “What’s this about? Don’t you have watch today?”
Flash was now reclining back in his chair with his feet resting on the edge of the console and a bag of chips on his stomach. On one side of the screen he was viewing, there were several windows with various JLA monitoring features, and on the other side, there was daytime TV.
“Relax I got this,” Flash smirked smugly. “Did you have any idea that the so called PR interview Superman is going to is on the Wendy Beaunday show? There is no way I could miss it!”
Bruce scowled at the grinning hero who now had his boots and a few soda cans dangerously close to a million dollar piece of machinery. Wally noticed the disapproving glare but completely interpreted it as Bruce needing further explanation.
“Give me Fox News, MSNBC, and a shark tank any day. That lady is brutal! Of course, Batman wouldn’t have any clue about the horror of day time talk shows. Oh, but maybe I do recall a certain billionaire playboy who was once in the Wendy hot bench. As I recall, she was very interested in Bruce Wayne’s adoption choices of viable young boys.”
“I try not to dwell on the useless points in my life,” Bruce replied dryly as he brushed Wally’s feet off the console and began to remove the various snack items. As a result, Wally sat up and began to assist, though his motivation was less about cleaning and more about consuming.
“Well, if he somehow manages to survive, there’s no doubt every single women on the planet ages 18-60 will be casting their lot with the league. The cult base for Wendy makes the Oprah following look like Tuesday night at a strip club, but poor Supes,” Wally sighed as he shook his head solemnly. “He sure doesn’t deserve this kind of publicity.”
“And yet that doesn’t stop you from stuffing your face while watching him struggle.”
Wally merely grinned up at Bruce in response. Bruce frowned back before he looked over at that console and noticed it was flashing. Before he had time to say anything, Flash was already flipping through the screen. “One sec.”
Wally began to type at an alarming rate as he scrolled through various windows at a speed Bruce could hardly comprehend. He then eventually stopped and let out a worried noise. “You have to be kidding me.”
“What?” Bruce questioned as he leaned in closer to get a better look.
“There’s been a bomb threat, and you would never guess where,” Flash answered before looking back up at Bruce nervously. “Coincidence?”
Bruce furrowed his brow before replying. “Doubtful.”
*************************************************************
“Initiating scan.”
Bruce lowered his head and looked at the building just below the roof he was standing on before his eyes lit up. The images before him suddenly transformed into a digitized state as an array of black and white shapes flashed before his eyes.
Prior to arriving at the studio, Flash had gathered more information about the bomb threat. Apparently a message had been sent stating that a bomb was hidden somewhere within the studio, and if anyone attempted to disable it, it would be remotely detonated. Of course, the message was not received until after the audience for the Wendy Beaunday-time chat had already been seated, and it was further stated that if anyone attempted to leave or the show was interrupted in any kind of way, the bomb would be set off. Unfortunately, this particular segment was always broadcasted live making it very difficult for the authorities to try and check the building undetected. Also it was a bit risky because no one was exactly sure how the mastermind was monitoring everything. Sure many suspected this was just a hoax, but Batman didn’t think this situation was one to take lightly. The JLA had too many enemies who could be prime suspects for a crime like this one.
In the end, Bruce decided this was something worth investigating. He debated on informing Clark about the situation but in the end decided it was best to keep him in the dark for now so that the taping of the show would go smoothly. Missions like this required finesse, and this was something Bruce could easily handle without Superman’s assistance. If things went as planned, he would locate the bomb and disable it before the culprit or the audience had any idea what was going on. There was also the possibility that this was a fake threat in which case there was no need to alarm Clark.
“Found it!” Wally shouted from over the communicator. He was now linked up with Bruce and running support back at the tower. Everything Bruce was scanning was being sent back to the console that Wally was now operating. “Uh oh…”
“What’s the problem?” Batman questioned as he continued to scan the rest of the building in case there were multiple bombs.
A strained sound could be heard from over their link. “It’s right above the stage where the show is being recorded.”
“Of course,” Bruce replied as he completed his analysis. Thoroughly satisfied there were no other threats, the the vigilante leaped from off the building he was standing on and landed on top of the studio roof below.
“Hold up, I’m pulling up the studio’s layout,” Bruce waited as the sound of vigorous typing could be heard. He then turned off the scanner so that he was able to examine his surroundings with his normal vision. Unfortunately the sonar made it very difficult to distinguish things clearly.
“Yes!” Wally laughed out in triumph. “If you use the upper air ducts, it should lead you right to the bomb’s location. As a matter a fact, I think that is where the bomb is actually hidden.
“Fine, I already see an opening,” Bruce replied as he began to pry open a nearby ventilation grate. “Once I’m inside, guide me to the location of the bomb.”
Luckily the ducts were big enough for Bruce to crawl in while remaining hunched over. This allowed him to move much more quickly and gave him a bit more mobility then in past cases where he’d been forced to low crawl his way through the entire expanse of a building’s air shaft. The only downside was that he could tell the ventilation system was pretty old and badly in need of some preventative maintenance.
“Alright so in four meters you will hit a fork, hang a left from there.”
Bruce was actually a bit surprised at how well Wally was handling this situation. It was usually hard to keep the speedster focused especially when he was being forced to sit in one place for an extended period of time. Maybe having the younger hero work a console for a change wasn’t such a bad idea.
“So B, you feeling like a TV dinner yet?”
“What?”
“It’s a reference to Die Hard. You know, a movie, and, oh yeah, it’s you I’m talking to” Wally drawled. “Never mind, now that I had to explain it, the joke kind of loses it’s-.”
“Flash, focus,” Bruce snapped as he cut off Wally’s ranting. “We don’t have much time, and we only have until the end of the show before the culprit makes a move.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay, I get it,” Wally muttered back. “You are about to make a two meter drop.”
Bruce followed Wally’s directions. As soon as he landed, he was met with the sound of clapping and loud cheers.
“Ladies you asked, and we delivered,” a loud boisterous female voice shouted. “Please give a round of applause to the one, the only, SUPERMAN!”
“Oh wow! It looks like the show just started,” Wally exclaimed from over the communicator. “And here I was disappointed that I was going to miss it, but now I can hear everything perfectly.”
“Pay attention,” Bruce growled out in warning.
“Of course, don’t you know I’m the master of the art of multitasking?” Flash snorted somewhat proudly. “Just keep moving forward for about six more meters. You still have a ways to go.”
Bruce began to make his way through the vents, the further he got the more distinct the voices below him became. “So, Superman, is it okay if I call you that, or is there a more casual name you prefer to go by?”
“Wow, that lady is wasting no time in being offensive,” Wally chuckled out. “Sorry, Supes!”
Bruce shook his head in mild disgust. If Wally really was sorry, why did he sound so pleased?
“Speaking of heroes that the ladies love, where is tall, dark, and mysterious?” the women questioned.
“Tall, dark, and who?” Wally echoed at the same time as Clark.
“Why Batman of course. No offense, but for every lady out there looking for “Mr. Nice” there are just as many looking for “Mr. Not so Nice”, if you know what I mean.”
Muffled laughing could be heard over the communicator. “Flash!” Bruce barked as he tried to regain the heroes’ focus.
“Oh man, sorry, B, I mean, “Mr. Not so Nice.” I just wasn’t expecting that at all. Who would’ve known your “get the hell away from me” impression was so popular with the ladies. I’ve been going about it all wrong.” A low guttural tremble sounded in Bruce’s throat which immediately transformed Wally’s voice back to one of complete sobriety. “So yeah, hang a right at the next corner, and it should be just another-”
Just as Wally was about to finish his sentence, Bruce was making his way directly over Clark and Wendy. It was at that point, the woman’s next statement could be heard loud and clearly. “It’s okay. I think you are still more than enough man to satisfy this crowd. Isn’t that why they call you the man of steel?”
Bruce nearly tore the communicator out of his cowl as Wally’s loud laughs roared over the device at an unbearable volume. The sound of choking and strangled laughter filled their link. “I can’t believe she,” Wally gasped out “Man of steel.” A few more ragged breaths were heard as the young hero struggled to regain his composure. “Poor S.”
“You finished?” Bruce questioned impatiently.
“I, yeah…” Wally answered his voice light but somewhat remorseful. “Well, as I was saying, after you make a right, the bomb should be somewhere near your location.
Bruce scanned the area before his eyes located a very distinguishable yet out of place object. “Found it.”
“Great!” Wally exclaimed before his voice suddenly dropped. “Uh oh, this isn’t good at all.”
Bruce tensed up as he attempted to look behind him for anything alarming. “What’s wrong?”
“Supes has to play the Wild Ten question game. That lady is going to murder him!”
Bruce clenched his jaw tightly. No good would come out of the words he wanted to speak. Instead he just approached the bomb cautiously. Once he was close enough to identify it, he subconsciously gasped.
“What’s the matter?” Wally questioned with worry. “Is it that bad?”
Bruce narrowed his eyes on the device. “No, it’s actually quite the opposite.”
“Huh?”
“This particular bomb is very common and so easy to make. Any kid with access to Google could figure it out.”
“Really? That’s kind of…” Wally’s voice began to trail. “anticlimactic.”
“It shouldn’t take me more than a few minutes to disable this,” Bruce explained as he started to remove a few tools from his belt.
“That’s good news,” Wally mumbled absently as though he were considering something in his head. Bruce had a feeling Wally was already thinking the same thing that he was, but at this point he decided focusing on disarming the bomb was more important.
As Bruce began to concentrate on his task, he started to tune out the voices below him. After only a few minutes had passed, he was more than halfway finished with disabling the bomb, just a few more wires to snip and-
“So Superman, do you prefer to do it with lights on or off?”
At this comment, Bruce was taken completely off guard as his hand suddenly slipped and he narrowly missed snipping a wrong wire.
‘Shit!’ Bruce mentally cursed as he realized how close he’d been to sending himself and the entire studio audience to the next life.
“Ms. Wendy, I don’t see how that kind of a question is anyone’s business,” Clark nervous voice stammered from below.
“Superman! You said you wanted to have a more open relationship with everyone, right?”
“I did, but-”
Bruce shook his head as he realized he completely forgot about the bomb and was now leaning in closer towards the air duct. True he was actually curious about Clark’s answer, but this was definitely not the time to think about those kinds of things.
‘Focus,’ Bruce took in a deep breath and returned to the task before him. This may have been a design that Bruce was already well versed in disabling, but there was still a very specific order that the wires needed to be cut, and it was important that he concentrated.
“What’s your favorite sexual position?” Wendy asked.
‘Concentrate,’ Bruce told himself.
“Where is the weirdest place you want to have sex?”
‘Focus,’ Bruce repeated in his mind as he attempted to ignore the voices.
“Which do you prefer, someone aggressive or passive in bed?”
Bruce’s mind began to go blank as he stared at the few remaining wires in his hands vacuously.
“What does your lover do that turns you on the most?”
The snips fell out of Bruce’s hands.
“Batman, are you okay?” Wally questioned from over the intercom.
“Quiet Flash, I can’t hear, er, concentrate.”
An awkward silence took over the link between Wally and Bruce. “Oookaay,” Wally slurred out.
Bruce closed his eyes and let out a strained breath before picking the snips back up and cutting the last few wires. “The bomb has been disabled.”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!” Wally thundered.
“WHAT?” Bruce all but shouted back. For some reason his already nervous state had him matching Wally’s energy.
“She is going to make him play “Fuck, Kill, Marry.” Correction, “Kiss, Date, Marry,” and she just asked him to choose between Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, and Black Canary!
Bruce let out an irritated growl that Wally didn’t even seem to notice. “Wow, what a loaded and dangerous question. Good thing Diana and Shiera probably don’t watch TV, but I wonder about Canary. Well, if you ask me, I can think of a few more things to do with them than kissing and dating.”
“No one asked you, so keep it to yourself,” Bruce retorted. “I am heading back. The bomb is too large for me to remove. We will have the authorities take care of it after the show.”
“You disabled the bomb already?” Bruce clicked his tongue with frustration. He was wrong. Wally wasn’t cut out for handling comm support.
“Alright! Final Question! Are you ready?!” The hostess shouted from below.
“Perfect timing,” Wally jeered. “Looks like we beat the culprit at his own game and there was no unnecessary outside interference. Now I can just enjoy the rest of the show.”
Bruce shook his head with annoyance. He then slowly turned around and started to make his exit. It was at that point he heard Wally choke over the communicator as the woman asked her last question.
“Of the following league members, Batman, Flash, and Green Lantern, who would you Kiss, Date, and Marry?”
Wild laughing took over their link and Bruce was certain that he heard the sound of a chair hitting the ground.
“Alright, so first off, who would you kiss?” the woman asked. At some point between Wally’s laughter, Wendy had managed to convince Clark to play along.
“I guess…Flash…” Clark stammered out.
“Curious. Would it have to do with the fact that the only thing faster than his legs is his legendary lips?”
“LEGENDARY LIPS!” Wally chortled. “Is that what the fans think of me? I really have been going at this all wrong!”
“We’re done here,” Bruce replied sternly. “I’m cutting our transmission.”
“Aww, no B, not when it was just getting goo-” Before Wally could finish his sentence, Bruce disconnected their link. Between the probing hostess and Wally’s commentary, Bruce was at his limit. He was sure he could navigate himself out of the ducts without Wally’s bantering assistance.
Bruce scanned the area before his eyes fell on an exit grate about four meters straight ahead. It appeared to be in a location that he could easily slip away from undetected. Slowly Bruce made his way across the long expanse that was right above the stage.
“So, then who would you date?” the hostess asked.
“Green Lantern.” Bruce froze at the comment as his mind began register what they were talking about.
‘What was the name of this game again? Kiss, Date…’
“Would you be sporting enough to elaborate?” The woman asked. Bruce subconsciously leaned his body downward. The sound of a slightly alarming creak sounded from under his feet, but Bruce was too preoccupied to notice.
“It’s probably better I don’t. I mean, it’s just that given the two choices I have left, it would make sense since I…” Clark’s voice began to fade out, and Bruce wasn’t sure if he just stopped talking, or if he was speaking too lowly for him to hear. This caused Bruce to bring his head even closer to the duct and at some point Bruce started to hold his breath.
“So, Superman, judging from your response that means, if you had to choose, you would marry Batman?”
“I…uh,” Clark sputtered out.
Bruce’s eyes widened as the creaking sound got louder, but before he had time to react, the ground beneath him disappeared. In one last ditch effort, Bruce reached out for the edge of the duct, but it crumbled in his hands. Before he could process his landing options, Bruce was already safely in Clark’s arms staring up at a beet red face and large blue eyes.
“BATMAN!” Clark and the Wendy gasped in unison. It was then that the woman’s already enormous grin grew impossibly wider and she twirled around and shouted. “I couldn’t have timed this better if it had been staged! My, you two boys certainly know how to deliver!”
At this declaration the entire crowd erupted into thunderous shouts, cheers, whistles, and erratic clapping. Clark winced slightly at the alarming sounds behind him his eyes still locked on the scowling crusader.
For a moment Bruce was stuck in a stunned state. The excited screaming was so loud his sense of reason was being overpowered. It wasn’t until he heard an audience member shout out “KISS HIM!” that Bruce finally snapped out of his stupor.
Clark made a small sound of discomfort as Bruce suddenly pushed off of him and jumped to his feet. Thoroughly thankful no one could see his blush through his cowl, Bruce turned his back to the audience.
“Batman? Why are you here?” Clark asked with alarm. “Is there something wrong?”
“There was, and now it’s been dealt with,” Bruce replied evenly.
Clark looked at Bruce with an expression of pure confusion. “And you handled it already?”
Bruce nodded.
“There isn’t anything you need me to do?” Bruce did not miss the desperation in Clark’s tone.
“You can handle the cleanup,” he replied as he looked up in the direction where the bomb was still located. Clark immediately read Bruce’s signal and focused his eyes using his x-ray vision to peer in the direction Bruce was motioning. He then let out a gasp as Clark immediately realized what was going on.
“BATMAN!” an energetic voice exclaimed. “So you were able to make it and such the dramatic entrance.”
Bruce frowned at the woman who was now patting his shoulder with unearned familiarity before he brushed it aside. Wendy didn’t seem at all effected by this as she clapped her hands together and smiled brightly up at him. “Well, never mind the hole. Won’t you have a seat? We have so many questions.”
“No,” Bruce replied flatly. He then pulled out his grapple hook, shot it towards the ceiling, and disappeared from sight. Clark stared in the direction Bruce exited, and realized this was one of the few times he was actually jealous of Batman’s cold attitude.
“Always playing so hard to get,” Wendy pouted while snapping her fingers.
Clark resisted the urge to agree before smiling down at Wendy and replying. “Ms. Wendy, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask everyone to calmly evacuate the building.”
For the first time, a panicked look entered the woman’s eyes. “Why? Because a silly hole?”
“No, I’m afraid there was a bomb found in this building. It has been disarmed, but we still need everyone one to exit the studio so that the proper authorities can handle its removal.”
“Oh my,” Wendy gasped and several audience members joined her. The energy in room then began to transform as several people murmured among themselves. “So is that why Batman was just here?” Wendy asked.
Clark shook his head.
“Then that would mean the Justice League just saved everyone’s lives?” Wendy mumbled more to herself then to Clark. She then lowered her head and began to tremble. Clark wasn’t sure how to respond to the woman’s meek behavior. He started to lift a hand up to comfort her before she suddenly whipped her head back up and shouted.
“UNBELIEVABLE! See folks! What would the world be like if we didn’t have these wonderful heroes here to save the day? Let’s hear it for the Justice League!”
The crowd once again erupted in celebration, and Clark let out a sigh of relief. Considering all he’d gone through that day, he was happy that everything worked out in the League’s favor.
**********************************************
Clark let out an exhausted sigh as he made his way into the room. The first thing that greeted him was a big wide grin and a low snicker. “So, Big Blue, I guess we wouldn’t be kissing till the second date?”
“Wally…” Clark groaned.
“Haha, you know I’m kidding man,” Wally chuckled before bringing a hand to his chin and looking up thoughtfully. “I can’t wait to hear what GL thinks. Maybe he’ll take you out on a hot date.”
Clark attempted to frown at the tittering speedster, but was too drained to do so. Sensing Superman’s grief, Wally finally stopped laughing and gave Clark an apologetic smile. “Relax, Wendy had one thing right, we all have a pretty good sense of humor.”
Clark gave Wally a weak smile before a familiar dark figure caught both their eyes.
“Well, most of us that is,” Wally chuckled nervously as they both watched Batman leave the room without a word.
“So you think I should change my alias from Flash to Legendary Lips?” Wally asked with a dopey grin. Superman didn’t even attempt to mask his groan.
************************************************
After filing his report of the day’s events, Clark decided to head to the tower’s garden area. At this point he had his fill of stuffy atmospheres. He just needed one last walk around an open area to clear his mind before he could finally relax.
As he made his way to the center of the park, he was surprised to find Bruce overlooking a balcony deep in thought. Clark considered sneaking up on Bruce, but knew it was pointless. Instead he just called out to Bruce so that he could get his attention. “The show went pretty well for the league considering...”
“It actually came off a little staged,” Bruce immediately replied without looking at Clark.
“What are you saying?” Clark questioned as he made his way beside Bruce and gave him a curious glance.
“It’s not worth further investigation from us.”
Now Clark was even more confused. “Are you serious? That’s not like you.”
Bruce let out a low sigh and finally turned to face Clark. “All in all, everything was orchestrated in our favor, and this job was executed so sloppy, I don’t doubt the authorities will put two and two together.”
Clark’s puzzled expression did not change forcing Bruce to further explain. “Wendy is just lucky I’m in a good mood. Thanks to her, I got a lot of insight on some things.”
“Meaning?”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Clark’s face immediately went flush as he stammered back clumsily. “B-Bruce! If you’re joking please at least laugh.”
Bruce only smirked in response and Clark was finding it very hard not to avert his eyes. It wasn’t until Bruce’s smile dropped that Clark could finally look back at him.
“Clark…” Bruce started before his voice faded. He then turned his face away to look back out over the balcony as though he suddenly lost the nerve to look at Clark directly. “At this point in our lives, I can’t give you a real wedding. The lives we live right now, it just wouldn’t be very wise. Also I don’t want to compromise the safety of the people around us either. If people were to discover Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent were dating, I’m sure it would be a big enough clue for some of our enemies to find out who we are.”
“Bruce, I told you already, I’m not looking for those kinds of things. I am perfectly happy with what we have right now,” Clark replied with a hint of offense. “Besides, we don’t need some court and papers to define what we have.”
Bruce smiled softly, and it felt almost foreign to see such a look on Batman’s face. Clark had to admit it wasn’t very often anyone could make Bruce smile like that while still donning his suit. Now Clark was more confused about Bruce’s strange behavior.
A low sigh of content sounded from Bruce’s throat and he turned back to face Clark. “That’s what I was getting at, but as usual you put it into better words.”
“Bruce?” Clark questioned as Bruce opened up his cape revealing a small box he’d been holding during their entire conversation.
“This is for you.”
“Wha-what?” Clark stammered as he looked at the package and then back at Bruce.
Bruce now had a gravely serious look on his face that was urging or rather commanding Clark to take the gift. Clark reluctantly reached for the box and opened it before an elated sound escaped his lips.
“It’s a bit simple looking, but I know you aren’t into gaudy things.”
“Bruce…” Clark mumbled his voice suddenly getting lost in his throat. Inside the box was a small silver band edged with gold trim on each of its sides. Clark felt his heart twist inside his chest as a flood of emotions suddenly began to overwhelm him.
“I may not be able to accept any proposals, but I can at least do this much,” Bruce continued to explain. He then removed his gauntlet revealing a matching ring on his own finger.
Clark smiled back at Bruce, and he was certain if not for the lead plated cowl, he would easily be able to see a faint blush across his face. It was then that realization hit him, and Clark’s smile took on a more playful shape. “Bruce when did you get this?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Bruce answered back quickly.
Clark leaned in closer to Bruce so that his roguish smirk was directly in Bruce’s view. “There’s no way you just got this after the show.”
“Clark, just shut up,” Bruce grumbled as he turned his face away from the heroes grin.
Clark’s smile widened. “Bruce, I really do love you,” he whispered just before leaning in and capturing his lips. Bruce made a sound of protest, but quickly abandoned his resolve and met Clark’s kiss with just as much fervor. He then suddenly pulled away and gave Clark a sly smirk.
“So, Flash was wrong about one thing.”
“What?” Clark mouthed somewhat absently as he realized he was still reeling from their short yet heated kiss.
“You do kiss on the first date, and quite skillfully I might add.”
Clark gave Bruce a wry look. “Shut up, Bruce,” he chuckled. He then leaned and captured Bruce’s lips for a second time that night.
The End