Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Bye, X, lovely talking to you!” Leafy cheered as she waved the Algebralian goodbye.

X left the two of them alone with a pep in his step as he headed back inside of the courthouse. Leafy continued to smile and wave until she was certain he was gone. Her happy persona dropped as she turned to face Firey, her ex-best friend who was currently looking down at the ground with a frown across his face.

Leafy had asked for a private chat with Firey because today’s challenge was to figure out who had stolen Donut’s diary. Of course, Leafy had no idea who had taken it but she knew it wasn’t her, so you can imagine her disbelief upon hearing Firey claim in the courtroom that he saw her take the diary.

How could he lie like that? Why would he lie about that? Firey had nothing to gain from unnecessarily throwing her under the bus unless… he stole the diary himself.

Well, she was about to figure that out for herself in a moment. And then, maybe everyone wouldn’t just automatically assume that she stole it simply because of what happened in BFDI all those years ago.

“Firey, what was that all about?! We both know that story’s a lie! I decided to check up on the Have Nots to see what you all were doing and I never saw you! You never saw me or talked to Taco and Flower!”

No reply came from his lips, Firey instead whispered something inaudible underneath his breath as he crossed his arms with an annoyed expression on his face.

Huh, that was weird. Just a few minutes earlier, he was gladly telling everyone his false story about Leafy being the culprit in this case but now he can’t even talk to her one on one? Why? What was he doing?

“…Firey? Say something!” Leafy demanded.

Still nothing but silence as Leafy could see Firey begin to tense up a bit. His hidden frustration only seemed to be getting worse and more noticeable as he groaned.

This was starting to get on Leafy’s already increasing nerves. Why was he being so quiet? He seemed so angry beforehand but now he can’t even get a word out? Was he trying to play dumb or hope that if he remained silent, Leafy would just move on and accept the accusations? 

No way! Leafy was not about to have her team lose and be up for elimination simply because Firey wanted to lie and pin the blame on her. He would only do that if he had something to gain out of it, like… avoiding elimination himself because… he stole the diary.

“…You took the diary, didn’t you, Firey?” Leafy calmly accused, now understanding that this was the underlying reason for Firey’s behavior.

He continued his silent act as his body shifted uncomfortably. Firey knew that he was going to have to say something eventually, Leafy was always too persistent and definitely wasn’t able to leave him alone until he answered her.

“…Okay, so what if I did?” Firey scoffed, his voice low and full of bitterness, “Maybe I did steal Donut’s diary, what then?”

Leafy let out a noise of surprise and annoyance by his statement. Did he seriously just admit to being the real thief? And then asked her why it even mattered? Was he being serious? Of course it mattered, it was the entire point of today’s challenge!

“W-What do you mean “so what if I did,”? Why would you steal the diary and risk getting someone on your team eliminated? Couldn’t you have just waited to read it like everyone else?” Leafy exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration.

“…That’s not why I took it…” Firey mumbled.

“Hm? What was that? Did you say something, Firey?” Leafy asked.

Firey regretted saying anything because now he would have to tell Leafy the real reason why he took the diary. Of course, he knew that he could have just waited to read it like everyone else but…

“Firey, what did you say?” Leafy questioned once again.

“…I didn’t take it because I couldn’t wait for it. It’s something else.” He eventually said, snarling slightly.

“Well, what is it? You might as well tell me before I tell everyone else and your team is up for elimination this time.” Leafy suggested, putting a hand on her hip as she waited for a response.

“…B-Because… I deserve a prize too, don’t you think!?” Firey snapped, pulling out the diary as he held it close to him, but not too close to where it would burn.

Leafy looked even more puzzled, a prize? Why did he think he deserved a prize and why would he steal the thing that everyone else wanted to have as well? This made Firey look like he was being a little selfish here.

“A prize? For what!?” She questioned.

Firey could feel the anger starting to boil inside of him as he processed that question. Did she just ask him why he deserves a prize? As if she didn’t know what she did to him, as if she wasn’t the reason why this entire thing even happened, why they were all still competing.

“BECAUSE YOU STOLE DREAM ISLAND FROM ME!” Firey exploded, turning his hands into fists as he glared at Leafy and took a step forward. 

“…What.” 

Leafy was stunned as she took a step back from Firey, who looked like he was ready to explode once again. It did make sense as to why Firey was mad but… that happened over a decade over, she thought that he was finally over that stupid rivalry that plagued the two of them for so long now.

She may have stolen Dream Island from him but she only did so because he wouldn’t have allowed her inside after winning. And all because of a stupid Ferris wheel! Firey got pissed that she didn’t like it but it was going to kill her, it had lava pouring down on it that would have burned her alive so of course she wouldn’t like it.

But, that wasn’t good enough for Firey. He let everyone else in on Dream Island, including Flower and Coiny of all people! Even if Flower had changed and become slightly better, at the time during BFDI, she could only be described as a petty, narcissistic, selfish sociopath.

And Firey used to hate Coiny! The two argued and fought with each other every day until Coiny got eliminated until he suddenly forgave him and let him in on the island as well. Every single of their friends had been able to join the ultimate prize but her. Leafy was the only one not allowed in.

So, of course, she was mad at Firey and wanted some revenge. Looking back on it now, it was a bit petty and spiteful but what else could she have done? The place was soundproof and there was no guarantee that he would even talk to her.

She thought their fight was over, seeing as Firey saved her life back then when everyone else wanted to kill her for stealing the island. But then again, why should she even be surprised? Firey saved her life and then ended up ignoring her and pretending that she didn’t even exist for so long.

Leafy even had to spend years all alone by herself with none of her other friends because they all hated her for what she did. None of them wanted to see her again and when they did, they tried to murder her. How exactly was she supposed to feel after that?

Despite all of his claims about not caring about Dream Island and wanting her friendship more than anything, his actions told an entirely different story.

“You never even apologized, Leafy! Something that I worked hard for, something I spent two years to earn was all taken away from me and all because of you! And then, I realized that everyone was only mad at you so… I pretended that I didn’t know who you were to get everyone to still like me.”

Leafy felt something crack inside of her with that statement. She couldn’t exactly explain what the feeling was but something inside of her was breaking piece by piece because of his words.

“You know, you may think you had it bad but I had it way worse than you. It hurt me a lot more than it hurt you…”

The cracking continued at a quickening pace. Leafy could feel her face twitching as her body shook with an intense heat she never felt before. 

Was he… being serious? There was no way Firey was actually being honest, right? There was just no way he said that this entire situation that he caused hurt him a lot more than it hurt her.

“I only stole the diary because I wanted to feel like I could have something again, that I could have a prize again. I want us to be friends again, Leafy, but I think that can only happen if you actually say sorry for what you did to me.”

Something broke, as if a part of her just completely tore itself apart. Leafy felt… angry, something she rarely ever feels to keep up being the nicest person on the show but she couldn’t control herself any longer.

Her hands subconsciously balled up into fists as she felt her body start to shake violently. Before she could stop herself, Leafy found her mouth opening on its own.

“…A-Are you being serious? Y-You… You want an apology for what happened to me?” Leafy asked, feeling shocked at what Firey was even suggesting.

“Well, yeah? It would be nice if you apologized to me about how you stole my isla-!”

Firey was about to continue when Leafy quickly talked over him, catching him off guard.

“Y-You want me to say sorry because you got mad over a Ferris wheel? That you’re still hung up over something that happened ten years ago!?”

Firey shifted awkwardly as Leafy’s anger and frustration seemed to grow. He didn’t understand why she was getting so mad at him, she’s the one who stole Dream Island from him and caused this whole mess.

“W-Well, I mean… Y-You stole-!”

“I’m supposed to apologize to you because you’re a piece of shit!?” Leafy snapped.

Firey winced, he had never heard Leafy curse before. She usually never allowed herself to use “naughty words,” like that and usually thought of it as something she’d never do. So, you could imagine his reaction as she cursed at him of all people.

This was starting to turn into something he really didn’t like.

“Let me get this straight,” Leafy chuckled, trying to hide how angry she was getting, “You… You turned your back on me, had everyone despised me and you think I owe you some apology for what?! What do I need to apologize for?”

“I-I mean… You stole Dream Island away from me! Why don’t you get that? I worked so hard to win at BFDI and I never got to enjoy what I rightfully earned. If you weren’t so selfish and entitled, we wouldn’t still be competing right now!” Firey shot back, trying to regain the upper hand in their confrontation even if his voice was a little shaky.

“Bullshit,” Leafy snarled, “Unless you magically forgot just like how you forgot our friendship, I worked just as hard as you did! I was so close to winning and I was even happy that you won because I would rather have my best friend win the prize than anyone else. I will say you’re right about one thing, we wouldn’t still be competing for what stupid prizes if all of that dumb crap with Dream Island never happened! But, you wanna know why it happened? Because of you!”

Each word was a cut wound across Firey’s heart. He didn’t know what he could say to defend himself here, he knew that he was right and that Leafy was wrong but for some odd reason, no arguments he came up with in his head sounded good.

“I-I spent so much time by myself… So much time alone and hated by everyone because of you! Because you can’t let shit go! Did you even think about what I felt!? Being hated by everyone, having them all trying to kill me!? Being stuck alone by myself for years!?” Leafy shouted.

Firey didn’t have a reply, his voice felt like it was caught in his throat. He couldn’t understand what was happening or why Leafy was getting so angry at him when he’s the one who should be yelling at her.

“Y-You…” He mumbled, his inability to even speak now becoming even more apparent.

“What!? I stole Dream Island? I wouldn’t even have had to do that if you just let me in the first place! But, you instead shunned me out and let everyone else in! You’re a fucking asshole!”

“Y-You could have talked to me…” Firey whimpered, now feeling extremely small and uncomfortable from this confrontation.

“How!? You shut the door in my face and told me that I wasn’t allowed in! The entire thing was soundproof so what was I supposed to do!? How could I have talked to you!? Would you have ever wanted to talk to me back then?!” Leafy questioned, her frustration evident.

“I-I’m just saying you didn’t have t-to be so irrational…” He mumbled underneath his breath, twiddling his feet as he tried to focus on anything else other than what was going on.

“Oh, I see… So, you wanted me to just sit outside while you and everyone else enjoyed Dream Island and I just listened from the background, huh? Yeah, maybe I was being emotional at the time but how would you feel if your best friend let in their worst enemy and let them in over someone who was supposed to be someone they cared deeply about?” Leafy scoffed.

Leafy couldn’t stop her anger from bubbling up more and more as she spoke. It was almost funny, really. How could Firey be so selfish? So self-centered? He was essentially telling her that she could have solved their problem with a solution that didn’t exist.

Firey didn’t have a response to that question, he wondered if he would have even heard Leafy out back then. Firey thought that if she had just talked to him, all of this stuff would have been avoided and never happened but… would he have even allowed her to speak back then?

“A-And you know what happened later? Everyone hates me! They all think I stole Dream Island because I’m evil! Not to mention, you stole Donut’s diary all because you want me to lose something!? Are you kidding me? What about everyone else who wanted to read it? How are you so full fucking full of yourself!?” Leafy declared, “You can’t be so goddamn entitled, can you? Oh, well… I guess since you threw me under the bus multiple times all to what? Get a stupid island? Protect your reputation? I shouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

This was completely out of character for someone like her but she couldn’t stop herself from venting out all of the pain and anguish she experienced throughout the years. She never found herself to be someone who gets very emotional easily but something about this moment made her go all loose.

“I… I didn’t mean for… I wasn’t trying to… I didn’t realize it’d end up like this…” Firey muttered as he selected his words carefully. Even with his filter, none of what he was saying came out right, as no words could ever describe what he wanted to say.

“You didn’t mean to… or you didn’t care? There’s a difference, Firey and what you did isn’t some accident. You don’t abandon a friendship for a fucking decade and shrug your shoulders and say, ‘Whoops, my bad,” Leafy declared, “You don’t give a shit, you never gave a shit. Might as well just come clean with it.”

“T-That’s not true! I-I mean, I do care… I just… I…” Firey stammered, unable to come up with a satisfactory response.

“No! You fucking don’t! Just stop with the bullshit for a second and be honest with me, Firey! If you really did care, then why did this happen between us? Why are we still fighting? You can say how much you care all you want, but I think you really care more about settling some old scores and winning more than you care about me, about my life! Maybe you did care at some point but it’s clear that you don’t care now.”

A moment of silence went on until she continued.

“How, after so long, are you still acting so entitled and full of yourself! You’re not all that but you clearly think you’re some god! Now, everyone thinks that I stole it because of you! You want me to take the blame for it because of what YOU DID BECAUSE YOU’RE STILL HOLDING A GRUDGE!? SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED SO LONG AGO?”

His breathing hitched, Leafy was yelling at him now. Firey felt like he was cowering as his knees shook underneath the intense glare of her rage.

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!? I’M SUPPOSED TO SAY SORRY TO YOU BECAUSE OF YOU DID TEN YEARS AGO!? BECAUSE OF YOU, I LOST MY FRIENDS, I DON’T EVEN FEEL LIKE I’M NORMAL ANYMORE, EVERYONE HATES ME AND WISHES I WAS GONE! EVERYONE IS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY WISH I STAYED DEAD AND YET YOU WANT ME TO SAY SORRY BECAUSE OF AN ISLAND!?”

It hurt, it really did all bring Leafy unexplainable amounts of pain to see how everyone now treats her. Even if she tried to put the past behind her and hide her pain through smiles and positivity, trying her best to move forward with her life through happiness and positivity, all of it was fake. The truth was that she hated the way everyone else saw her, hated that all of her efforts to be nice, genuinely kind-hearted were all in vain.

All of it made her wonder if she was as bad as they thought. Maybe she was some manipulative, toxic, horrible person who tries to hide behind being extremely nice when she’s the worst one of them all. All of the negativity surrounding her began to take its toll on her mental state, making her question if she was even worth something to anyone.

She tried to hide those feelings of doubt and loneliness with another angry response.

“It’s always about you, huh? Fucking Firey is still mad about his precious little island rather than his best friend! You told me that you cared more about me than a stupid island and yet you’re fucking acting like this!? I spent so much time alone in Yoyleland because I couldn’t go back to the others without them trying to murder me! I went to you for help and support and you ignored me! And for what, because your reputation couldn’t be ruined after you ruined mine!?”

He couldn’t even reply anymore. It was like his brain had turned into jelly and someone smashed his head against a brick wall.

“I… I…” Leafy stammered, trying to find something else to say before the overwhelming sadness took over, “Ten years of my life is down the drain because of you! My life is ruined all because of you and that stupid fucking Ferris wheel!”

Firey only remained silent. There was nothing to be said, no attempts at defending himself. All he could do now was simply stand there and take it.

So, using up all of her pain and suffering, she managed out one more response, “FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU’RE A GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT WHO RUINED MY LIFE BECAUSE OF HIS DUMBASS FEELINGS AND YOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE WHEN EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT! IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOUR FAULT! I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH, FIREY!”

Firey still couldn’t reply, it was like his feet were stuck to the ground. He couldn’t even run away from this argument even if he wanted to.

Leafy’s breathing began to hitch as she felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes, even if she rubbed at them to get them to stop. Just talking about this was bringing out all sorts of emotions, including despair and sadness.

“Do you think that this is fun for me!? I have panic attacks because of you! All of my friends tried to kill me because of you! Everyone hates me because of you, none of them can stand me! I don’t even know who I can trust anymore because I always feel like someone wants me gone all of the time because of you! I never feel safe around anyone anymore! But, y-you… y-you just… don’t care.”

Leafy’s voice got shaky as she spoke. She couldn’t stop herself from crying slightly as she continued. This was the last thing she wanted but opening up all of these old emotional wounds were starting to take a toll on her. Her breathing hitched as she started to sniffle.

“W-Why don’t you care? I-I thought we were supposed to be best friends but you don’t care about m-me or how I-I felt after all o-of this time… I-It’s not fair! My life is ruined because of something tha-that happened ten years ago… I’m always the bad guy because everyone loves you! It’s always been like that for me! It’s… not… fair…”

Leafy’s sobs got stronger, tears falling down her cheeks as all of the hurt, pain and suffering she had experienced throughout the past years came hurling back.

“T-The first thing that Bubble did when she saw me was t-try to kill me… She tried to k-kill me because y-you can’t let go of Dream Island! And, you t-told me that you still care about m-me but you’re the one wh-who did all of this to me! W-Why I’m now seen as an enemy to e-everyone?”

Firey didn’t know how to answer that, how to answer any of what Leafy was saying. If he could be honest, he wished that the ground would just eat him up right now and he wouldn’t have to deal with any of this anymore. Seeing his best friend now starting to break into tears was nothing short of a bullet train right to the stomach.

“Y-You ignore me, pretend I don’t even exist and let everyone else say whatever they want about me but yo-you want me to apologize? You want an apology because you can’t l-let go of your precious prize from ten years ago i-instead of a-asking me how I-I feel…?”

Firey gulped, not knowing what he should say in this situation. He had never seen Leafy cry before and seeing her now was making him feel strange in his chest, a sort of stabbing feeling.

“I-I try so hard to g-get everyone to forgive me but they just don’t care… I tried for years to m-make up to everyone but they don’t care! Even the new people in this season don’t like me! B-But, you’re the worst of them all… You don’t care, you never cared…”

This was all starting to become a little too much for Firey. He wanted to just leave, to ignore this situation and pretend that it never happened but something forced him to stay.

“You just want me to say I’m sorry for taking away your prize when you’re not even sorry for me and how I feel! Why is it always about you? Why is it about how you feel and not how I feel?!? Why don’t you care, Firey!? Why!?” Leafy demanded, now starting to yell again but without the intense fury fueling her response, “TELL ME WHY YOU HATE ME SO MUCH AND WHY YOU STILL HATE ME FOR OVER THIS PAST DECADE! WHY ARE WE STILL FIGHTING FOR SOME STUPID PRIZE!? IT’S BEEN TEN YEARS AND YOU CAN’T LET IT GO! I’VE LET IT GO, FIREY! I FORGIVE YOU FOR KICKING ME OUT OF DREAM ISLAND BUT YOU CAN’T FORGIVE ME AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY!”

Firey couldn’t answer that, it was starting to feel like Leafy was stabbing him over and over again in the chest. What was this weird feeling in his heart, a small little pang every now and then, like someone had smacked him right across the face.

“I-It’s not fair.. I-I… I loved you, for a long time and even after everything, I still do! I just wanted you to like me but you don’t, even if you say that you do, you don’t care and you still hate me because of that stupid island! Right!?”

Leafy was surprised by her own words, by her admission of being in love with Firey. It was like she had spoken without a filter, like she was on autopilot mode and just said the first thing that came to her head.

It was strange to think about, that despite everything, all of her anger and resentment, she still found herself having feelings for him that just couldn’t seem to die out no matter what she did.

No words came out of his mouth. Firey just stood there shellshock.

“What else do you want from me!? An apology? The deed? Dream Island back? Do you want me to just die?” Leafy asked.

That was a question she asked herself so many times; should she just die? Despite knowing that she would just get revived by Four to remain in the competition, she found herself constantly questioning if she should even be able to come back.

It was a dark thought, that much she would admit but she couldn’t help herself from asking it. Everyone hated her and she felt as if her mere existence was causing issues for others.

She would be lying if she said that she had never had the thought of simply fading away forever cross her mind at least once in those ten years. Some days, she just felt so utterly worthless and alone to where she felt like if she stayed in bed and never came out, nothing would change. No one would go looking to see if she was okay, she could just lay there in bed all day and night and everyone else would be much happier than they were before.

Leafy often wondered what was even the point, of getting up, of her entire existence. It seemed so easy to just not bother as she was going to die eventually one day, so why pointlessly get up only to find herself wasting away anyway?

“People are always remembered and loved more when they’re dead.” was a thought that she said to herself, nearly on a daily basis. Leafy wondered if she were to die, to truly die and never come back, not through Four or through whatever machine but just… dead, if maybe people would like her more. Maybe they would mourn over her and she would finally get some amount of positive feelings thrown her way.

…It was a dumb thought. Truly a selfish one. She would have no real idea how anyone would act if she was gone forever, or if it would even lead to universal love and care. It wouldn’t even be worth it since she wouldn’t be around to experience it. It only added to Leafy’s growing self-hatred and low self esteem. To think about throwing her life away for some kindness was an absolute waste of a thought. Leafy was a waste, a waste of time, energy and space.

The only reason why people didn’t know her true feelings was that she never said anything about it and continued her positive facade. Tomorrow was a new day, she told herself. A new day, a better day to be the best version of herself. All of that was nothing more than bullshit on motivation posters and lies she told herself to give herself a reason to even want to get up.

It never got better, it felt worse. Everything felt so exhausting and tiring, it felt like a pain to even want to get up in the morning. Of course, all of these negative emotions and thoughts were shoved down deep inside as Leafy forced a smile on her face. After all, why would anyone care? If she said anything, what would actually change?

That’s what she always believed anyway, everyone already hated her so if she asked them if she should die, they might just say yes.

Leafy wished that her facade was real, that she could just brush past everything and she was always super happy and positive about everything. But the truth was that Leafy hadn’t felt “happy” about much in her life for about a decade now.

She often wondered if something was wrong with her, that she shouldn’t be feeling this way and should just be happy. It seemed so easy for everyone else to be happy with who they were so why wasn’t it easy for Leafy to like herself? Something must be inherently wrong with her if she couldn’t muster up a genuine smile in the past decade of her life.

Leafy thought of herself as a freak, someone who was abnormal and would never actually be able to fit in because of this indescribable problem she had. What would she even say to everyone else if she could describe? That she felt bad about herself? That she didn’t like herself? That some days, and just felt very sad and tired to the point of pondering over her own death? What word could she possibly use to explain that?

In all honesty, thoughts of how utterly worthless her life was, how pathetic she was and how life would be without her around were a constant thing in her mind. Was there something wrong with Leafy for asking herself what life would be like if she wasn’t around, if the others would be happy if she wasn’t there. How they would react if she was actually dead and didn’t get revived, that they would never see her again.

…Most of these got brushed off to the side anyway. Leafy just told herself that she was just being too emotional and she should just ignore it because they would go away eventually. That something was wrong with her for even thinking about this. She was probably right, seeing as just moving on with her day made these thoughts go away for the most part.

“Ah-!” Firey finally managed to say, catching onto that last part of asking him if he wanted Leafy to die.

Well, of course not! Sure, she had her issues with taking his island away from him but it wasn’t that he wanted Leafy to be gone forever.

But, he wasn’t able to tell Leafy that as she continued to rant and sob.

“Would that make you happy? Do you seriously hate me so much that you want me gone forever?! Do you really care more about your old prize than my life?! A-Am I just some b-burden to y-you? Y-You don’t even w-want to tell the others t-that you still “care” about me so I-I think that you just don’t want me around anymore…”

Leafy couldn’t handle it anymore and fell to her knees, covering her face with her hands as she broke down into tears, unable to even speak anymore. Everything felt dizzy and like she was about to throw up. 

It wasn’t fair, none of this was fair. Everyone always hated her, talked about how mean and toxic and manipulative she was when all she wanted was her friends back, for someone to care and love her, for Firey to care and love her.

“I… I should just die, huh?” Leafy asked, removing her hands from her face to gaze up to Firey, who said nothing in response.

To be honest, Leafy wasn’t really asking if Firey wanted her to die, she just wanted  him to say no, to tell her that she mattered so much to people, to him and provide her with some much needed support and comfort that had been missing from her life for a long time.

She just wanted, no, she needed Firey to tell her that he wanted her alive, that he wanted her. Leafy needed him to tell her that he would miss her if she was gone. For far too long, Leafy had struggled with the idea of her own death and now she was laying it all out for Firey to just say the words that would make her feel like she did matter to someone.

It had to be from him, it couldn’t be from anyone else than him. Maybe it would help her already extremely low self esteem, or do something about her mental state.

Leafy needed to hear the words, “No, of course not! You’re so important to me, Leafy! Please don’t say anything like that again.” coming from his mouth.

Firey paused, just staring at Leafy as she continued to weep on the floor. His mouth opened to say something but he couldn’t, there was nothing he could have said.

He felt a sickness begin to spread, from his gut and all throughout his body. Firey felt like he was ready to throw up as his eyes remained fixated on Leafy and everything she just said.

Firey wanted to say something but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t say anything because what could be said? All throughout the past ten years, Firey had only really been focused on his dream, on losing Dream Island and it seemed right to let Leafy take the fall for everything.

But, seeing her having a breakdown right in front of him didn’t give him any sort of satisfaction. Was she telling the truth? Did he really make her feel like that? That her death would make him feel better? 

Did he really cause her to have panic attacks? To not trust anyone again? That he caused her to spend years on her own and made her feel unwanted and unloved?

How did this start off as simply the two of them having an argument over who stole Donut’s diary to Leafy having an emotional breakdown right in front of his feet?

“I-I…” He mumbled, not even sure what he wanted to say to her. An apology crossed his mind but how much would a simple “I’m sorry” do compared to a decade’s worth of pain.

He went silent for a moment and Leafy stopped. This is what she should have expected, nothing but silence. Of course, Firey would never truly care about her. No one would even truly care about her as they all hated her. Hearing his silence gave her the same confirmation as him openly admitting that he didn’t care and her life was meaningless.

Leafy only sniffled and got back to her feet, still crying softly. Her breathing hitched as she glared over at Firey. 

“Fine. Whatever, there’s no point in telling you since you don’t care…” Leafy sniffled, rubbing at her eye, “You know what? Fine! Go tell Four and X that I stole the diary! If that makes you hate me less, then go ahead! You wanted to take something away from my team and everyone is already convinced I did it, so you can go right ahead!” She shouted, “And…”

Leafy reached for something, a slip of paper and thrusted it into Firey’s hands. 

“Here! The deed to Dream Island! Since you love this thing way more than you love me or anything else, just take it! You can have your precious island, I hope it makes you feel better for all of the pain I somehow caused you.”

Firey stared down at the slip of paper, feeling… awful. If you had given this to him about eight years ago, he would have been over the moon but now it felt meaningless, hollow, a bitter reminder of what turned him and Leafy into the way they are now.

“W-Wait-!”

“Go ahead, tell everyone how you got your precious island that you care so much about back. You can go tell everyone that I really am just a shitty person who no one likes, how I’m toxic and manipulative and what a bad friend I am, what a bad person I’ve always been! How useless and worthless I am! And how much better your life would be if I was gone! And, now you’ve gotten your amazing island back, you can just leave this season, or maybe I should as well since the viewers probably hate me too!”

“L-Leafy, I-I…” He stammered.

“I’ll just go. You finally got what you want. I’m sorry that I stole Dream Island from you all those years ago, you can have the deed and you can have what you always wanted; your precious island and I’ll be gone for your life and everyone else’s! I’ll go make sure you and everyone else will never have to deal with me ever again.”

“W-Wait a second, Leafy-!” Firey cried out.

Leafy didn’t listen to him, she didn’t want to hear his voice ever again. She ran off into the forest, leaving Firey behind despite his soft calls for her.

He stood there for what felt like hours, still clutching the deed in his hands. It felt so cold, small, meaningless. Firey wondered if this was even worth it, he got exactly what he had been chasing over and obsessing about for a decade at this point so why didn’t it feel good or deserved? It felt as worthless as any random scrap of paper, something that you could just get rid of without any second thoughts.

Why didn’t he feel right about this? He got what he wanted; Dream Island, it was right in his hands, his obsession for years, he finally claimed his prize but he felt so empty and hollow, like having this deed took a part of him away. There was no sense of satisfaction or fulfillment, he only felt cold.

He tried to force out a smile or some sort of positive feeling upon having the object of his desires but it proved futile. There was nothing to smile about but it didn’t make sense! Why wasn’t he feeling happy about this? Leafy was gone, he had his long-awaited prize that had been ripped away from him for a decade now so he should be feeling like he’s on cloud nine but he instead felt as if he was being buried by rocks.

“Come on! Just feel happy!” Firey yelled internally, as if he could just trick his brain into believing that this is what he wanted if he said it to himself enough. Why isn’t this making him feel better already? The person who he hated was gone now and said that she would never bother him again and he had his prize but instead he felt so… weak, miserable, pathetic.

It was like there was something wrong with this situation but what could it be? It couldn’t be about Leafy, right? He didn’t feel bad about that…

Maybe… Maybe he just needed to tell someone! Yeah, that was it! He was feeling upset because no one else knew about his victory and that they could all stop battling for… Battle for Dream Island because he had Dream Island!

“Who should I tell? Maybe Gelatin? Or Blocky! Ooh, Leafy would-!”

That stung, just thinking about Leafy gave him a strange pain in his chest as he thought about her words and what she said to him before leaving.

Not like Firey cared about that, Leafy was a betrayer and a horrible person! She took away his right to the reward he earned and all because she didn’t like his Ferris wheel that… killed her.

He didn’t feel bad for her, Leafy deserved whatever she was feeling right now… kinda like how awful he was feeling.

This wasn’t even a bittersweet feeling, like he got something he valued at the cost of something else. It felt like he wasted so much time and a significant portion of his life… for nothing. The deed felt like nothing. All he was feeling was a profound sense of guilt and like something was missing.

But, what could it be? What could possibly be missing from his life? Nothing! It couldn’t be anything since he had the one thing that mattered, the deed to Dream Island! That’s the only thing he cared about, the only thing he should care about.

Firey just… he just needed… needed his best-! No! He didn’t need Leafy, he didn’t want to see her! Her crying and everything she said to him didn’t affect him at all. 

He shook his head as he opened up the deed, seeing the words, “Congratulations! You are now the official owner of Dream Island! We hope you enjoy your new prize with your closest friends! Perhaps even your best friend.”

“Gah-!” He exclaimed as Firey closed the deed. What was up with all of this friendship crap? He didn’t need to enjoy his prize with his best friend because his best friend stole it away from him in the first place!

…That is what Firey wanted to say to himself and so desperately hoped to believe but he just couldn’t. The stabbing feeling he felt in his chest only seemed to triple as the knife went deeper into his chest, feeling twisted by the words, “Best friend.”

His best friend… those words felt like a cruel reminder of who they once were. All of those fun memories they shared felt tainted by the knowledge of how distant they had become now.

Whatever, Firey didn’t need Leafy because he… he got his… Firey didn’t need his best friend!

That didn’t stop his mind from giving him one final memory, something that he hadn’t remembered in a while and hoped he would forget.

“Leafy, Leafy! Leafy, I’m sorry for what I did. I realized what I wanted the most wasn’t Dream Island, it’s you, your friendship. I just want you to know that I’m tired of all of this turmoil that’s going on, all these conflicts and stuff and I’d rather spend my time with you, whether it’s on Dream Island or not.”

Those words, that speech he made back in BFDI, ten years ago when he saved Leafy’s life from everyone else who wanted her dead after she bought Dream Island and took it from them. Firey rescued her with a hang glider and she was rightfully pretty pissed off at him for not allowing her in.

And Firey told her all of that, about how much he was sorry for what was going on and how he never wanted Dream Island, about how he only wanted her and her friendship.

He said all of that only to spend the next decade going back on those words and letting this small wound between them fester and grow into what it was now; a permanent stain on their relationship and lives.

Ugh! No, he just needed to stop thinking about Leafy, if he just ignored it, it'd go away. If he just didn’t think about what just happened, then it’s like it never even happened in the first place. All he would have to do is tell himself that Leafy was bad, that she was evil and deserved whatever was coming to her.

His feet went to walk back to the courthouse but he just couldn’t, moving around felt like there was cement attached to his feet. It became a struggle to even move, or more precisely, to even feel the motivation.

Why was this happening to him? Why was he feeling like this? Was he sick or something? There had to be something wrong with him to be feeling so weak when he should be feeling happy.

…Something was wrong with him for how he treated Leafy-!

“Ugh! Shut up!” He yelled at himself, snarling, “Just shut up!”

All he had to do was just let it brush by him, to just move on with his reclaimed prize. Whatever his stupid brain and feeling was telling him didn’t matter, what mattered was the prize he had, that’s all that mattered.

…That, and Leafy…

“Gah! No! Leafy doesn’t matter! I don’t care what happens to her!” Firey berated himself, feeling annoyed that he was even thinking about her right now.

His eyes glazed down to the object in his hands, “Why aren’t you making me happy?” Firey whispered to the deed as if it could talk to him.

In all honesty, he felt awful just touching this thing, like it was a disease and had infected him. Maybe it was, this stupid piece of paper for a meaningless island was a disease, something that had infected his mind for so long to where he became… selfish, petty, perhaps even a little bit manipulative.

He couldn’t even ignore it anymore, all of the guilt and remorse was starting to gnaw at him, making it near impossible to pretend that it wasn’t there. Any attempts to play dumb were doomed because he knew exactly what he was feeling; guilt.

Maybe that guilt was always there and it was only now that he was truly acknowledging it. Everything hit him like a truck.

Gosh, what had he done? He turned what should have been his best friend to someone who he spent so much time resenting and essentially traumatized her and all for what? To get this piece of paper? For an island he didn’t even deserve?

That’s when it really set in and hit him; Firey traumatized Leafy. For ten years, Leafy must have hated herself, hated her existence and thought that she would be better off dead. For ten years, Firey ignored her and pretended not to care about her because he was worried about what others would think about him. For ten years, everyone hated her, even the contestants who weren’t a part of the original BFDI cast thought that she was evil.

He had given her panic attacks, trust issues and a deep sense of self-hatred and all for a dumb island!? Firey felt the urge to just rip up the paper and burn it, it really didn’t mean anything to him anymore. How did this go from simply competing for a prize to emotionally scarring Leafy!?

Firey threw the deed to the floor, as if it was some dead animal he didn’t want to touch. Just even looking at it made him feel repulsed, by his stupid dream and what it made him into. He never wanted this, all he ever wanted was to win his prize but… all he has done, everything Leafy went through, it all made him feel like he couldn’t breathe.

It was like for the first time, Firey was seeing the deed for what it actually was; just a piece of paper. That’s all it was, an island that meant absolutely nothing to him, a worthless, meaningless object that changed him so much. This wasn’t some amazing item that he just needed to have at any cost but just a stupid slip of paper.

What was even the point of this? Why did he even bother? It was like a spell had been lifted off of him as he stared at the piece of paper lying on the ground. He couldn’t even call it a deed anymore because calling it that would imply it was somehow valuable, that it had some sort of meaning.

The island didn’t matter, BFB didn’t matter and this stupid piece of paper didn’t matter. None of these did him any good, they made him worse.

The only thing that did matter was Leafy, she was the only thing that mattered and made him feel better and he threw the chance of having an amazing relationship with an incredible person away for nothing.

After all, what was he going to do with the island? Spend the rest of his life on it with his friends? The idea sounded appealing to him in the past but now, it sounded awful even if he couldn’t figure out why.

Firey asked himself what really was more interesting; winning a prize or hanging out with his friends? He realized that he really only cared about BFDI, about BFDIA and for BFB because it meant he had a chance of spending time with his friends in a competitive environment.

The “what ifs” were slowly starting to creep into his mind as he thought about what their relationship might be if he had just let her in Dream Island in the first place, what their future together would have been. Who knows, maybe they would have been more than friends since she was in love with him but the chances of that was now officially down the drain.

Fuck! He could have a deep and wonderful friendship with her, maybe even a full-blown romantic relationship with Leafy! She could have been his girlfriend by now, maybe even more than just that if he spent those ten years actually showing his care for her instead of making her feel like shit and being a monster to her.

Mental images flashed through his mind, of being with Leafy, doing all of the cheesy romantic stuff with her that he usually thought were corny and dumb but now seemed oddly appealing to him. The classic hand-holding, going on dates, cuddling, even if it wasn’t physically possible due to his fiery nature and other stuff.

The stuff that he could never see himself doing as he always figured it was so stupid and unrealistic, something only suckers believed in, now he was a sucker who believed in it. If only he had spent the past ten years with her being that cringey yet affectionate boyfriend who’s all lovey-dovey. Those potential ten years of dating could have led to something even deeper than simply being boyfriend and girlfriend.

Leafy could have been his… Firey could have been… Ah, it felt awkward for him to outright say outright but the idea was still there, an idea that he now wanted to be reality.

Oh, who was he kidding? If he and Leafy were dating all the way back in BFDI, they’d probably be married at this point in that “what if” future. Firey couldn’t say he saw himself as being the type who could propose but the fact that it could have happened was really eating away at his insides.

Those images felt like taunts, a cruel reminder of what he could have had and could no longer have because of the type of person who he had been.

What the fuck was wrong with him? He felt so gross and disgusted with himself, like he wanted to crawl out of his own body. How could he have done this!? How could he let Leafy suffer like that and all because he was upset over a Ferris wheel? Over her taking an island, a worthless object? How pathetic was that?

And what made it worse was that he came out here with her so she could apologize to him! Firey wanted an apology for what? For her being traumatized? For her issues that he caused? He really wanted her to say sorry for taking such an insignificant item away from him a decade ago? What the fuck was his mindset just a mere ten minutes ago? Firey couldn’t believe how insensitive and ignorant he was.

His mind switched between the overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame. Part of his brain was telling him that he did something bad and should feel guilty because of it. That everything he did to Leafy should make him feel awful about his actions .

The other part was telling him that he was something bad and should be ashamed of himself for it. That he was a fundamentally awful person who should be ashamed of himself and how he acted, that something was inherently wrong with him for acting so insensitively.

How could he have ignored her pleas for help? For someone to want to talk to her, for Firey to actually be her best friend and not someone else who added onto the constant mistreatment she experienced? The fact that he let this happen for ten years was really hitting him now, like his head was being slammed against a brick wall over and over again.

It all felt like a dream, or more like a nightmare. Had he really done all of that? Did he really care more about an island than making sure his best friend was okay? Did he really let himself hate her for so long over a deed!? Did he really let everyone despise her and demean her? Did he pretend that their friendship didn’t exist all because he didn’t want others to know how he felt?

The answer was an obvious yes, he did allow all of that stuff to happen. He allowed his stupid ego and his inability to let go of his grudge dictate how he felt about her, treated her and let her be treated.

And… she loved him? Even after everything he put her through, she loved him and cared about him!? Fuck… Fuck! Firey couldn’t understand how she could even have any sort of feelings for him after all he had done, for everything he did to her and caused her.

He couldn’t imagine loving someone like him, loving someone who was the reason for all of your pain and suffering. To think that even after all of the years of torment, after all of his selfishness, she still cared for him.

Firey’s train of thought was broken when X suddenly appeared beside him, looking at the diary.

“Ooh! Good job, Firey! You found the diary! Four will be pleased by this! Great job!” X cheered, not knowing how awful Firey was currently feeling.

To add onto his growing self-disgust, he had also been the one who stole Donut’s diary all because of his grudge. Firey wanted to pin the blame on Leafy, to make her know what it was like to lose something and make her feel what he felt.

Ha, what a joke. It was more like Firey was now feeling a fraction of the hurt and pain Leafy had felt for years. God, how the hell could he have that done?

He couldn’t understand how he could have been so cruel and petty. In his head, it was easy to pin the blame on Leafy since everyone already thought it was hard, little did he know that confronting her would lead to him feeling like someone just ran over him with a car. 

Maybe he deserved something like that. After all, he did claim to care about her and still value their friendship almost two weeks ago and yet pulled a stunt like this.

“Where did you find it? I’m guessing Leafy took it, right? You said that she did in the courtroom, didn’t you?” X innocently questioned.

Firey wanted to hurl, to expel all of his guilt and remorse onto the floor with that simple question. How could he have tried to pin the blame on Leafy for what he did, with the diary and with the on-going conflict they had?

“Such a shame… I guess me and Four will have to give her a punishment. Something a little bit more than just being up for elimination.”

He struggled against the urge to throw up. Firey felt so disgusted with himself, to think that he was ready to throw Leafy under the bus for his mistake…

“Hey, umm, Firey? Are you okay? You look a little… sick.” X asked once again.

Firey didn’t answer but he wanted to. He was sick, sick in the head at least. No normal person would have done what he did, no good friend would have manipulated and let someone be bullied and ostracized for something that he caused. A good person wouldn’t blame the victim for a grudge that was a decade ago that he couldn’t let go of.

Firey was an awful person. That was a fact that couldn’t be denied.

“Umm, okay… I’ll just, umm, take your silence as a yes. Come on, let’s go.” X said as he teleported himself and Firey into the courtroom.

He didn’t even react as he suddenly found himself in front of Four, with Teardrop, Gelatin, Lollipop, Flower, Blocky, Woody and Bubble all standing nearby. His mind was still too focused on Leafy and everything that happened between them.

“H-Hey guys, look! Firey got the diary back from Leafy! The Have Nots wins the challenge!” X cheered, lifting up Firey’s hand, “The Have Cots will be up for elimination.”

Firey could just barely make out the words of his teammates cheering for him and the Have Cots groaning in annoyance, but it was a hollow victory. He didn’t really do anything to earn it because he was the one who caused the challenge to arise in the first place and for the stupidest reason ever.

It was like winning to him now meant absolutely nothing, he kinda wished he had been eliminated earlier, either in BFB or maybe all the way back in BFDI, at least then, none of this would have happened.

“Well, no duh, I knew Leafy took it! Of course it would be someone like her.” Flower scoffed, putting a hand on her hip, “I told you that it was her from the first, just like Firey said!”

Firey winced and whimpered at that statement. How had he ever agreed with that before? How could Flower talk about Leafy like that? She had always said stuff like that but hearing it now felt like he was truly processing her words.

“L-Leafy’s not like that…” He whispered.

“I mean, we all guessed that it would happen, didn’t we? Who else but Leafy would be a complete jerk and steal something from someone?” Blocky agreed, not hearing what Firey said.

Firey wanted to say something in response to that, to tell Blocky how wrong he was for saying that, for even thinking about Leafy like that. How could he just sit there and think that he was right to insult her like this?

…Maybe like how Firey thought he was right in everything he did to her.

“T-That’s not true…” He muttered, finding himself unable to speak up louder against the mistreatment.

It made him feel even more pathetic, like the fear of judgment from his friends was more important to him than defending Leafy’s name.

“Just like how she stole Dream Island! Once a thief, always a thief! Leafy’s so rude and mean to everyone that she probably wanted to steal it because she could!” Bubble added, “Now, she’s totally screwed our team over! I wish we didn’t have Leafy with us.”

All of this felt like the universe getting back at him, by making him have to listen to everyone completely dogpile on Leafy just because of all of the bullshit he did ten years ago. 

Maybe this was some cruel sort of punishment or payback to make him understand, that something out there knew that once he realized what he had done, hearing everyone still remaining on BFB criticize Leafy for something he did would only add to his self-disgust.

The irony was certainly not lost on him, having to hear what Firey himself would essentially say if he hadn’t been explicitly told by Leafy what he did to her.

“B-Bubble, you know that’s not true…” Firey mumbled again, now speaking a little bit louder.

Teardrop and Woody nodded in agreement, not being able to say anything but still wanting to show that they agreed with everyone else.

“Guys, stop nodding…” He stated, trying to pick up the courage to be more forceful and direct with everyone.

“I am undoubtedly disappointed by my teammate’s actions but then again, I am not surprised. Judging from what you’ve all said about her, this seems in character for her.” Lollipop mentioned.

That wasn’t even fair! How could she judge Leafy like that without even knowing that she was outside in the woods, probably crying her eyes out right now because of all of them…

No, it was because of Firey. Lollipop wouldn’t even be talking about Leafy like this if he hadn’t made her seem like a villain, like an easy target.

“Yeah, I’m kinda disappointed. She’s put us up for elimination when we all know that Leafy-!” Gelatin started to say before Firey felt himself snap.

He couldn’t take this anymore, Firey couldn’t handle hearing everyone talk bad about Leafy any longer.

“Hey! Can you all shut up and stop shit-talking Leafy for a goddamn minute!? She isn’t even here to fight against your crap and you’re all just taking turns to take shots at her! Like this is some game!” Firey snapped, snarling slightly as he felt everyone’s eyes turn to him.

Everyone was staring at him with a puzzled look on their faces, like they couldn’t understand that he had just shown a little bit of empathy for Leafy instead of just continuing to criticize her.

“Umm, why do you care? I thought you said that Leafy was the one who took the diary, right? Seems pretty much like her.” Blocky replied. 

“No! It’s not! Leafy would never do something like that and you’re all completely wrong if you think Leafy is even half as bad as you think and is!” He shot back, “She’s an amazing person who cares about you all so much but you’re so selfish, hypocritical and too narrow minded to see how much she loves you! How much she always loved you! And, instead of showing her love back and being a good friend, you’ve treated her like complete shit for years now and all because of something that happened ten years ago that you can’t let go of! How can you all be so immature and petty? How can you ignore her and make her feel so awful about herself just because you have a dumb ego that got bruised once!?”

As soon as he finished his rant, Firey paused, realizing that he had just essentially subconsciously told everyone what he felt instead. Every single word felt like something he would say to someone who did what he did, or what Leafy said to him.

He looked around at everyone, all with widened eyes and shocked expressions. None of them were saying anything, just simply staring at him after his verbal takedown.

“Okay… That was certainly aggressive and unnecessary, Firey.” Four mentioned, coughing slightly, “Shouldn’t you be satisfied with your team’s victory?”

Firey turned towards the host, “No! I’m not happy because… because… I stole the diary!”

Multiple gasps could be heard as the other contestants all focused their gaze on Firey. None of them could believe what he was saying.

“Wha-!? Firey, why!?” Gelatin asked, flabbergasted.

“B-Because… Because I’m a shitty person! I’m an awful friend who tried to pin the blame on Leafy for stuff that was all my fault and that I should have let go of a long time ago! I hurt so badly for so long and I couldn’t even understand that until now! A-And… I-I… I gotta go find Leafy!” Firey exclaimed as he rushed out of the courtroom and back outside, running into the forest.

He didn’t even know where he was going or if he was going to find Leafy but he needed to try, he needed to talk to her, and actually have a heart-to-heart, not some attempt at making her feel bad for what he did but to genuinely apologize and try to make amends.

Firey wanted his best friend back, he wanted Leafy back and he was becoming desperate to do something to make this right. What that thing was, he wasn’t too sure about but he knew that he just needed to see Leafy right now.

Worried thoughts started to fill his head as he remembered what Leafy said before running off into the forest, how she was going to leave Firey’s and everyone else’s life for good.

Oh god, was she going to…? No, Firey wasn’t even going to entertain that thought or finish it. Leafy wasn’t going to do anything like that and he was going to make sure that she was okay. Leafy’s life was way too important to him to let her go and he wasn’t sure what he’d do if she was gone.

He kept running, calling out her name with the hope that he would find her and he did. Firey found Leafy sitting at the edge of a cliff, crouched up into a ball as she swung back and forth, clutching her knees.

“Leafy!” Firey called out, sprinting his way towards her. He didn’t like how close she was to that edge, he really hoped she wasn’t thinking about doing something that she would regret.

He slowed down as he walked towards her, seeing her avoiding her gaze at him. A painful sight but a fair one.

Firey sat down near her, only for her to scoot away from him. Another thing that pained him to see but it was fair enough. Leafy probably thought he came back to demand an apology, even if that was the last thing on his mind.

“…Well, go ahead. Say it, you told everyone that I stole the diary, your team won and I’m probably going to be eliminated, aren’t I? You probably just want me to apologize to you, huh? Get one more lick in before I’m gone.” Leafy asked, her voice being more cold and distant.

“N-No! Of course not! I-I just, umm, I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay and not… going to…” Firey trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence.

“What? Jump off the cliff?” Leafy retorted, “Part of me wanted to but… Four would probably just bring me back to life so what’s the point? I die and then I come back to deal with more hatred and resentment? I came out here because I wanted to be alone but I guess I can’t even have that.”

Firey felt his heart breaking at even the mere mention of Leafy hating her life so much that she thought about dying. He wanted to hold her and hug her and tell that it was okay but he couldn’t, seeing as he was literally a ball of fire and would kill her if he touched her.

“…It is nice out here though, pretty peaceful though. Just away from everyone and everything.” Leafy stated, looking as the sun began to set, “Pretty sunset, right?”

Firey looked at the lowering sun as he tilted his head, feeling pretty at peace in this moment. Although, that might have been because he was around Leafy right now.

He wanted to lean into her but of course, being the living, breathing version of fire itself, he would surely kill her if he did.

“Yeah, it is…” He sighed, looking at Leafy from the corner of his eye, “I’m looking at something really beautiful right now.”

Firey turned to look at Leafy fully as he said that final part, blushing slightly as he gazed at her. A smile twitched onto his face.

“Hm? Did you say something?” Leafy asked, looking onwards as the light faded away.

“N-No, I said nothing…” Firey lied, coughing slightly as he wondered about why he had that weird reaction.

Huh, that was strange. Firey wasn’t too sure why he even said that, it was sorta just an impulsive reaction.

Although, it’s not like he was entirely wrong, Firey felt as if he could gaze at Leafy all day long and wouldn’t have an issue with it. It was like he was now starting to see Leafy in a different way, or maybe he always felt like this but was only now acknowledging it.

His hand went to lay itself on top of hers but she pulled it away, looking at him for a moment as she shook her head. A hurtful reaction but one that Firey should have expected.

But, he didn’t come here to try to hold Leafy’s hand or gaze at the sunset, despite how beautiful it, and she, was.

“Leafy, can we talk? Please? Like, actually talk?” Firey asked, trying to get through to her as he turned to face her.

“We’re talking now, aren’t we? Isn’t that enough?” She replied, still focusing her gaze across the cliff as she jerked her legs, “Can’t we just have one nice moment where we’re not fighting and just… relax?”

She didn’t want to talk about it, the open wounds were too fresh for her to deal with right now. All Leafy wanted was something like this, just a nice moment between them where she felt like Firey didn’t resent her existence.

“Leafy, come on… I want to talk to you, and I mean, really want to talk to you. Please…” He begged, his hand subconsciously reaching out for hers before he noticed and pulled it back.

“About what? What can we possibly talk about?” Leafy mumbled, “What’s done is done…”

“Please don’t be like that, Leafy…” He replied.

Leafy groaned as she remained quiet for a few moments, seemingly lost in thought before she suddenly spoke again.

“Wanna know something?” She asked him.

“Huh? Umm, sure, I guess.” Firey awkwardly answered.

“Remember, back in BFDI, when I was about to be crushed by that Announcer Crushing machine that Flower made after I stole Dream Island? And you came in with a glider to save me?”

Firey couldn’t help but cringe at the memory, remembering that if he only let Leafy in Dream Island all those years ago, they wouldn’t even be in this situation right now. If he had simply not acted the way he had, none of this would be happening right now.

Regardless, he forced out an answer. “Yeah, I do, what about it?”

Leafy clicked her tongue before she started her sentence, “Pretty sure that’s when I fell for you. Haha, you just looked so cute and heroic even if I was still pissed off at you. Part of me was still super angry that you kicked me out of Dream Island for such a dumb reason but the other part was so smitten with you. I both wanted to kick you to the moon and kiss you.”

She sighed dreamily as she smiled, “My knight in shining armor; or, I guess, my fire with a hang glider. For so long, I just told myself that it was just a dumb crush spurred on by you saving my life and that I would stop having feelings for you. It’s been ten years and I think it’s a little more than just a dumb crush. Pretty sure I’m in love.”

A blush spawned itself on Firey’s face as he looked away from Leafy. So, she really was in love with him. He would have never guessed that anyone would ever feel like that about him, and it was only made worse since it was Leafy who felt that way about him.

How? How could a girl like her still like a guy like him? After everything he’s done to her, after all of the pain and suffering she experienced because of him, by his hands. How could Leafy still be in love with Firey?

“Leafy…” He cooed, “I-I… I don’t… You…”

Reading his thoughts, Leafy gave him an answer. “Yeah, I don’t get it either. You’d think I’d despise you now and honestly… I do. I hate you so much, Firey but… I guess that doesn’t matter. Whatever I feel doesn’t matter since we're both stuck like this.”

She continued, “The funny thing is, even after everything, I still haven’t changed, even after all that’s happened, you’re still my fire with a hang glider… Haha, sucks being in love with you, doesn’t it? After everything, I still am that same girl who fell for you all those years ago.”

Another moment of silence went by, “…Just like how you’re still the same guy who’s mad at me for stealing Dream Island. Ironic how I’m still in love with you and you still hate my existence.”

She laughed after that, but Firey couldn’t tell if it was meant to be sarcastic or bitter.

“Leafy, that’s not true. I don’t hate you and I’m not here to be a massive dick to you anymore. I just want to actually talk to you about… everything.”

“Really? You wanna talk, Firey? I don’t know if I can believe that because it becomes a guessing game with you, Firey. I have no clue if you’re here to apologize and say you’ve changed only to go right back to how you were before or if you’re just here to tell me you want something else from me. What is it? I already gave you your apology and the deed to Dream Island? Why can’t you ever just go away?”

Firey winced underneath her harsh response. He knew that it was fair, who wouldn’t respond to him like that? But, he thought that they were finally reconnecting, starting to make a bit of a breakthrough and finally start to erase the stain on their relationship that plagued the two of them for far too long now.

“You’re so inconsistent all of the time. You wanna be friends now? Or maybe you wanna sit here and what? Talk about all of the good times that didn’t even happen? I really don’t know how you want me to take this seriously when you don’t take anything but yourself seriously.”

He frowned, Firey knew that she was right since he did act pretty inconsistent around her and what exactly he wanted from their relationship. But, he was done with that!

“Leafy… Okay, look, I’ll just straight up say it; I suck, I’ve sucked for ten years now and I’m an awful person. I cared way too much about the things that didn’t matter than the stuff that does matter; you. I threw away our friendship and fucked you over because I’m immature and I couldn’t let go of the past but I’m done with that! I swear!”

Leafy listened closely to his little speech and clicked her tongue, “…Well, that’s sweet I guess.”

“…What? That’s sweet?” He questioned.

“Yeah, it’s a nice thing to say…” Leafy sighed, looking resigned.

“Wha-? Aren’t you gonna say something!?” Firey question.

“I did, it’s a kind message, that’s all it is, anyway… A nice thing to say with nothing else to back it up. That’s all it is to me and, let’s be honest now, to you as well.”

“What do you mean…?” He asked her, flames flickering with uncertainty.

“Firey, how much of this “apology” is you wanting to be a better person and how much of it is you wanting to mend a bruised ego. It wouldn’t be the first time you cared more about making yourself feel better than other people…” Leafy questioned him, looking down off of the cliff, “Do you really even care to admit that you were wrong or is this really about you feeling bad so you want me to jump into your arms so you can stop feeling awful.”

Firey opened his mouth to protest, to tell Leafy that she was wrong about him and he really did care about fixing things between them when he shut it and started to think.

He knew that he did come out to apologize, to give a true apology and be Leafy’s friend again, but a small part of him did recognize that he likely was hoping for Leafy’s forgiveness to alleviate his own feeling of guilt and shame. Firey might have been waiting to hear the words, “I forgive you,” so he could tell himself that what he did wasn’t that bad.

“…You’re right. Maybe I do want you to forgive me so I can feel better. Maybe I want you to accept my apology so I can stop feeling so shitty about myself. And… I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that even though I want to apologize and change, I’m still the same guy at my core. You deserve so much better than that.” Firey quietly admitted, hanging his head down low.

Leafy stopped to watch Firey’s face, seeing the genuine remorse displayed as he openly admitted his biggest flaw; his tendency to put himself above everyone else.

This was a first, Leafy had never seen Firey being so open about what was troubling him. He’d normally put it on others, making up reasons for why it was anyone’s fault but his own. To see him now acknowledging it made her soften her stance slightly.

“…But, even if a small part of me is still thinking about myself, most of me wants to apologize because I really am sorry! I know that I sound like a broken record and two words can’t fix everything but it’s true! I’ll say it as many times as I need to; I’m so sorry for everything, Leafy.”

“…I wanna forgive you, I really do, Firey. But, it’s just not easy, I can’t take any of what you’re saying seriously. Even now, I still feel like you hate me...”

“Leafy, I’m telling you that it’s not true, I don’t hate you! A-And… And… I’m sorry! I’m sorry for everything, for how I treated you and how I made everyone else treat you and for making you isolated from everyone and… anything else I did to you!” Firey rambled, almost losing his breath.

Leafy only looked at the floor as she turned her back to him, “Leafy, Leafy! Leafy, I’m sorry for what I did. I realized what I wanted the most wasn’t Dream Island, it’s you, your friendship. I just want you to know that I’m tired of all of this turmoil that’s going on, all these conflicts and stuff and I’d rather spend my time with you, whether it’s on Dream Island or not.”

Firey paused, titling his head at her in confusion, “What?”

“…You said that, remember? Back in BFDI, back when I almost got crushed and you saved me with that hang glider, you said those exact words to me ten years ago. I remembered you saying those exact words to me, never left my head.”

Right, he did, he remembered it like it was yesterday. To think that a decade had passed since everything that happened during BFDI was… certainly a feeling.

“What? Means we’re getting old?” He joked, trying to lighten up the mood only to be met with a depressing response. 

“This isn’t the first time you’ve apologized. You told me that you care more about me than Dream Island but look at you now, look at me now, still arguing and fighting over a prize…”

She was right, Firey did say all of that stuff, exactly how she said he did and yet he couldn’t follow his own rules. He cared too much about a dumb island than his best friend.

“But, I’m done with that, Leafy! I swear, this time I mean! No going back on my word! I really don’t care about Dream Island anymore, it doesn’t mean anything to me. I care about you, I want you, Leafy.” 

Leafy sighed, “…Hearing you say that just makes it worse, you know? Because a part of me still wants to believe in you, Firey. If you told me that ten years ago, I would probably have jumped all over you and kissed you all over your dumb, cute, stupidly handsome face… Honestly, a part of me kinda still wants to.”

She looked over to him as she let out another sigh, “But, that was a long time ago. I don’t get how you want me to just… forgive you after so long.”

“I-I’m not! I promise, all I want is to be your best friend again, to have us to be close again! Please believe me! I’m being honest with this, no bullshit. I know that I’ve been an absolute piece of shit to you for a long time and I’m not asking for us to go back to being friends immediately but I just want a chance, Leafy! To show that I mean it this time!” Firey pleaded, gripping Leafy’s hand which caused her to blush slightly.

But, she brushed his hand away, “…I’m sorry but… we can’t. Firey, you hurt me way more than just kicking me out of Dream Island and… I can’t go back to being your friend.”

“Please!” Firey begged, now clutching her hand tightly as he dropped to one knee, looking at her, “I will do anything it takes to be with you again, you’re my best friend and I… I… I lo… I love you! Please, I will do whatever you want, anything to make up for the shitty person I’ve been for over the last decade! I can’t change how I acted before but I want to be there for you now, I’ll do anything! Please, Leafy… I-I need you… I don’t want anyone else but you…”

His eyes started to tear up and fell on his body, hurting him slightly but he didn’t care. Firey couldn’t let her go, not again, he didn’t want to keep up this back and forth between them, he just wanted his best friend back. He wanted Leafy back.

“Please… I love you…” He repeated, looking as if he was on the verge of breaking down like she did, “I love you, I love you, I love you so much, Leafy and I want you back, please give me a second chance, I won’t fuck it up this time, I just want you…”

Leafy didn’t reply, staring down at Firey as he held her hand and looked like he was about to propose. Well, he was proposing something, just not marriage.

She didn’t know what to say, Firey was now on his knees, crying and begging for a second chance at forgiveness, a second chance at their friendship. This was something she’d never expect to happen.

Leafy wanted to forgive him, she really did. She could feel how remorseful he was and unlike before, it was like he was being genuine in all of his words, that he really was going to change for the better.

But, her mind wouldn’t let her forget everything that happened. All of that pain she experienced throughout the decade because of him. It didn’t matter how much he apologized; those scars would surely last until the day that Leafy died.

Leafy couldn’t easily open herself up like that again, what Firey did wasn’t some one-time mistake, it was a constant lack of care and communication that led to their friendship deteriorating to this point. She didn’t want to be hurt like this again, not anymore.

She gently brushed his hand away from hers and muttered out, “I’m sorry…”

Firey’s eyes widened as the warmth of his hands gradually faded away. Tears were still flowing down his eyes as he spoke.

“B-But I…”

“I know,” Leafy responded, “…I love you too and I fucking hate you so much, Firey. I just… I need time.” She softly spoke.

Firey’s response came swiftly, as if he was expecting this outcome and his brain switched onto autopilot, “…Right.”

What else was he really expecting? Of course, Leafy wouldn’t just jump into arms and they’d be best friends once again. A heartfelt apology and a confession of his deepest feelings for her wasn’t enough to get her to trust him again.

The sun had finally set, casting the pair into darkness as the moonlight set a spotlight on them. They didn’t say anything as they simply stared at each other, a silent acknowledgment of their mutual affection and understanding of their relationship.

Leafy started to turn around and head off before she looked at Firey once again.

“…Goodnight… I, umm, I love you.” Leafy remarked.

“I love you too…” Firey mumbled.

With those parting words, Leafy walked off, leaving Firey alone to reflect on what just happened. A sigh left his lips, a mix of frustration and sorrow over all of this. He knew that Leafy didn’t outright reject his offer at being her friend again but she didn’t exactly go screaming yes.

“…Fuck.” He muttered to himself as he put his hands on his head. 

This was going to be a whole lot harder than he was hoping it was. Instead of a clear path to regaining their friendship, this was going to be a long and hard road full of mistakes and setbacks before Leafy would feel comfortable calling him her best friend once again, or maybe something more.

Letting out yet another sigh, he got back to his feet and started to head back towards the others, with one thing being certain; he was going to do anything to get Leafy back.

Chapter Text

The morning sun finally arose as Firey laid on his bed. He was unable to sleep the entire night, his mind constantly replayed the events of yesterday as a never ending loop.

All of that really did happen, Leafy’s breakdown, his own outburst at the courthouse and their talk at the cliff. Firey let out a sigh as his brain brought up the memory of his confession, of him down on his knees, begging for Leafy’s forgiveness and a second chance to be friends again only to be told that she needed time.

Fuck.

He knew that Leafy was right in her decision, after everything that occurred between them, how could she possibly forgive him like that, like nothing happened? It was essentially impossible for Leafy to be his friend again in an instant but Firey still wanted it.

The crushing guilt ate him from the inside out, preventing him from having a nice sleep. The only thing he could do was lay in his bed and stare at the ceiling all night long, thinking about his ex-best friend, until daylight finally broke out.

What could he do now? Should he just wait for Leafy to talk to him again? He didn’t want to impose on her and strain their relationship even further, they were just starting to reconnect and Firey didn’t want to throw away this chance again.

But, the unease of being unsure of what the next step moving forward was still painful. All he wanted was to be close to Leafy again but how?

What if it was too late? What if Leafy said that she couldn’t bring herself to be his friend again? Firey did cause her so much pain through the past decade. This wasn’t some small issue he let boil over and fester for a month or two, this was ten years of both of their lives down the drain over a stupid conflict that could have been resolved the day it occurred.

Ultimately, there was nothing he could do but wait. There was no big, grand gesture that would fix everything between them. The only thing that could possibly change their relationship was time and a lot of it.

Firey let out another swear underneath his breath as his bedroom door opened and Gelatin started to head inside. Firey was getting ready to tell him to leave before closing his mouth, realizing that he had spent enough time alone and missed talking to people.

Ugh, just saying that in his mind made me ponder over if Leafy felt the same when she was alone, about missing everyone else and wanting someone, anyone to acknowledge her existence and talk to her.

Gelatin stepped closer towards him and sat on the side of his bed, kicking his legs slightly over the space between his feet and the wooden floor. Firey felt the bed creak from the added weight and he looked away from his friend.

A few moments of silence went by the two before Gelatin found his voice and started speaking, “Umm, hey man, you good? You sorta freaked out yesterday and ran off, none of us could find you.”

Right. Firey had completely forgotten he lost his cool at the courthouse when everyone was unfairly criticizing Leafy and told them all to shove it. What would they think of him now, defending the person who he himself gave the most crap to before.

He felt a tinge of self-disgust running through his veins. Even now, even when actively trying to be better and not like the person he had been before, Firey couldn’t stop himself from subconsciously putting his reputation in front of everything else.

“Firey,” Gelatin remarked, cutting off Firey’s thoughts, “I asked if you were okay, man, never seen you look so… down.”

That was an accurate description of what Firey was feeling right down; absolutely down in his dumps. He couldn’t muster up any facial expressions besides a subdued look of sadness and disappointment.

Should Firey tell Gelatin? He was probably his closest friend between the rest of the BFB cast and he might understand, right? Or maybe Firey was just trying to justify the choice to finally talk about his feelings and let it all out.

“…I suck,” Firey quietly mumbled, “I fucking suck as a person so much.”

“What?” Gelatin asked, turning his head towards the flame.

“…It’s about Leafy, I mean… I… Yesterday, I… I,” he stammered out pointlessly, “I just want Leafy to be my… Ah, whatever…” Firey said as he buried his face into his pillow.

This was stupid, Firey couldn’t even get a word out. Telling Gelatin wasn’t going to go anyway, after all, what could he even do? Go ask Leafy to forgive Firey and be his friend again? Something like that would only make him feel worse.

Gelatin looked at his friend for a moment before letting out an, “Oh, I see what’s happening here.” with a smile on his face.

Firey brought his face up to stare in confusion at him. What? What did Gelatin mean? Could he read his mind or something, or could it be that it was just that obvious what was bothering Firey that Gelatin could understand it without him having to explicitly say it out loud.

“What?”

“I didn’t think you’d be into her like that but I guess the heart wants what the heart wants,” Gelatin cheered, “I totally get it, must be too embarrassing to say out loud. At least you’re not searching up how to get a girl to like you or anything.”

Firey’s expression grew even more puzzled by what he was hearing. What the hell was Gelatin talking about? Talking about what his heart wanted? Well, it wanted to be Leafy’s friend again of course.

“What are you talking about?” Firey questioned.

“You like Leafy, duh! That’s why you’re so upset, isn’t it? You’re super into her but you don’t know what to do about it.” Gelatin replied, “Don’t worry, nothing to be embarrassed about.”

What.

Firey began to blush as he sputtered out a reply, “W-What!? No I don’t! That’s not it!”

Okay, well, that was a bit of a lie. Firey did love Leafy, he admitted so himself to her face yesterday. He couldn’t tell Gelatin any of that though, he could know nothing about their talk on the cliff last night.

It sucked so much that he only realized the true depth of his feelings after Leafy said that she hated him and he had already caused her so much pain. Yet again, the images of what could have been between them danced around in his mind, more painful reminders of how he messed everything up.

Why couldn’t his stupider younger self have the realization of, “Holy shit, I kinda like and want to be with Leafy,” back during the events of BFDI and then things would have been so much different compared to now.

But no, he just had to get the realization now, after their relationship had already been through the ringer and Leafy was left traumatized by his actions.

He took a deep breath as he tried to clarify what happened to Gelatin, “It’s not that. It’s… I… If I tell you, do you promise not to hate my guts until the day you die?”

Gelatin looked slightly caught off guard by that declaration, eyes darting across the room for a moment. He hadn’t expected Firey to say something like that, normally the guy was relatively calm and a bit of a jokester. To see him ask him something so seriously and nervously immediately told Gelatin that whatever Firey was about to say, he wanted it to be taken seriously.

Gelatin cleared his throat before his gaze fixated itself back on Firey.

“Oh wow, it’s that serious, huh?” His cool voice soothed, as if he could just automatically alleviate all of the guilt that Firey was experiencing with his support alone, “Yeah, I promise. Shoot.”

Firey took a deep breath, trying to calm his shaking body before he confessed everything that was on his mind, “…I’m a fucking dickhead who hurt someone I care about for so long and didn’t even realize it until she told me that she thought about dying.” Firey quickly spoke, unable to hold back his feelings.

Gelatin was starting to process what his friend was saying when Firey continued speaking, “I fucking stole that stupid fucking diary from yesterday, remember? The whole reason we even had that court case was because of me! And I tried to get Leafy in trouble all because I was still caught up on a dumb island from ten years ago! And then, she has a fucking breakdown right in front of me and I’m left realizing that, holy shit, I traumatized someone who should have been my best friend by letting her live on her own with no friends for years, had everyone constantly shit talk her, oh and the wonderful cherry on top; I made her become suicidal! Isn’t that just great!” Firey laughed, not out of enjoyment but rather a release of his pent up emotions, “And, of course, it’s only now that I realize that I do care about her! But, oh well, I fucked her up so badly that I don’t even think Leafy wants to look at me anymore! So, in a nutshell, I’m a piece of shit and fuck my life.”

Firey buried his face in his pillow once more and began to laugh once more, not with joy or happiness but rather an intense feeling of internal disgust. He knew that he did a lot of bad things but hearing it out loud made it sound ten times worse.

It made him feel like he was an inherently bad person, that his selfishness ran deep through his core and was a fixed part of his personality. That he was always gonna to be like this and there was nothing he could do about it.

That thought made him stomach flip, making him always feel like he’s on the verge of throwing up without anything actually happening. Firey promised Leafy that he would change. He promised himself that he would change so the thought of him never being able to be a better person, that no matter how much he tried to follow the light to redemption, he would be cursed to be stuck on the path of darkness was a little daunting.

He didn’t want to see his friend’s face, Firey couldn’t bear to look at Gelatin’s reaction. He was probably thinking about the best way to tell Firey that he was truly the scum of the earth and the worst person ever born.

That’s what he deserved anyway. No good or even decent person out there would do what he did. It would take a special kind of person who lacked all signs of empathy and compassion for others to pull this type of stunt. Someone who was born to be a terrible person to others, someone who only thought of themselves and everyone else came later, no matter the cost.

Gelatin had to have seen him as absolutely irredeemable. What was he gonna say? Was he gonna tell him to get the hell out of his face and that he never wanted to see him, saying that he would never be friends with someone like him and didn’t ever want to see his face again?

Maybe give him some scathing criticism about his actions, saying that Firey was fundamentally a bad person and that he should just give up chasing Leafy as he was only going to hurt her even more down the line. That Leafy deserved so much better, to be friends with someone who didn’t drag her down to this point in her life, and needed a positive influence in her life to combat against all of the negativity Firey brought her.

To be fair, who was he to say that he could be her best friend once again? Was that the best move for Leafy, to befriend the same person who caused her so much pain? Firey was doubting it, he already told Leafy that he cared about her but never followed through on his promises.

Or perhaps just beat him up. Maybe words wouldn’t describe how much Gelatin must have hated Firey and he would just smack him around for what he had done. It wouldn’t be that much of a surprise.

After all, if Firey had a friend who just told him what he just told Gelatin, he’d be utterly horrified and disturbed, thinking to himself how someone could possibly do this and for over a decade. He was convinced that Gelatin must have hated this guts now. A stupid promise didn’t mean jack when faced with what he did.

Gelatin remained silent for a while, only fueling Firey’s anxiety about his response. He seemed to be articulating a response in his mind, staring down at Firey as his eyebrow burrowed into themselves.

Finally, after a few minutes, Gelatin opened up his mouth and said, “…Wow, I… wow.”

Firey still kept his face in his pillow as he gritted his teeth. Here it comes, the moment where Gelatin officially resents him just as much as he hated himself and declared their friendship to be over. Just what Firey deserved.

“Haha, I know, right? Let me guess, are you gonna beat me up for being the piece of shit person I am?” Firey questioned, already mentally preparing himself to accept whatever Gelatin was about to say or do to him.

Gelatin was silent for a few moments once again, although it was a much shorter wait time before he finally gave a response, “No, of course not. I just… Damn, that’s a lot.” He muttered, clutching at his head in some form of disbelief, “Are you… feeling okay?”

Firey winced and couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was Gelatin… actually being nice to him? Was he showing him kindness? Why was he doing that? Gelatin should not be showing any sort of support to someone like Firey, he should be insulting and ridiculing him.

Firey didn’t say anything, he could only move his head up from his pillow and look at Gelatin with teary eyes. He hadn’t even noticed that he was starting to get a little emotional. His breathing hitched as Gelatin continued to offer words of reassurance.

“Come on, man… talk to me. I hate seeing you look so depressed.” Gelatin cooed which made Firey’s heart jump in his chest, “You said something about Leafy, right? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you all that well.”

Despite his thoughts telling him that going into further detailed was a bad idea and that he didn’t deserve to have anyone treat him with any sense of decency and he should go back to his self-hatred, but the opportunity was too good for him to pass up.

“I don’t know what to say!” Firey exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration, “I don’t know what the fuck to do! I don’t know how to make Leafy like and trust me again! I don’t know how to make her feel better, I don’t even know if I can make myself better! All I’ve been doing here is laying here and fucking moping all night long because I miss her so badly and I want her back but I don’t know if I’ll ever get Leafy back.”

Once he got started, Firey couldn’t stop himself yet again, “I mean, how can anyone fix something like this? Am I just supposed to sit here and wait until Leafy eventually decides I’m too much of a fucking dickhead to ever be friends with again! I’m the worst person ever to exist and I’ll never be Leafy’s friend again because I traumatized her all over a stupid fucking Ferris wheel from a decade ago! Oh my god, I fucking suck so much, kill me!”

A resigned sigh came from his lips as he went back to his pillow, “This is fucking stupid anyway. Leafy hates me, I know she does. I mean, how can she forgive the guy who traumatized her over the dumbest shit imaginable, let alone be with him? I can’t fix this, I can’t do anything…”

Gelatin continued to sit there, looking at Firey with worried eyes. He could tell that this was something that was haunting Firey, eating him from the inside out.

He could just feel the way all of the guilt and remorse were clouding Firey’s judgement, making him become harsh on himself. Gelatin wasn’t upset at Firey, even after all he just said. He instead felt sad, empathetic, this was the most vulnerable he had ever seen Firey act.

“Hey, come on… don’t say that… you’re being too hard on yourself.” Gelatin said, kicking his feet against the bed frame as Firey scoffed.

“No, I’m just being honest; I do suck as a person. I just… I don't know what to do. I don’t think this is something I can fix.”

“Well…” Gelatin trailed off, getting off of the bed and standing in front of Firey and grabbing at his hands, “Laying down here and criticizing yourself isn’t gonna change things either.”

Firey yanked his hands away and frowned, “You don’t get it, it’s not just about me being her friend again. I can’t get over the fact that I traumatized her. This isn’t just us no longer being best friends; I seriously hurt Leafy and messed up her life so badly and maybe even forever. How can she forgive me for something like that?”

Gelatin sucked in some air as he sighed, “…Look, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what you want me to say. I agree, just based on everything you said… it sounds like you messed up but I think that you can fix it. I’m not Leafy so I don’t know what she’s thinking right now but I know that if you just show her that you care and are trying to change; she’ll appreciate it.”

He continued, “You can change, Firey. I, umm, I know this sounds corny but I really do think you can, even if you don’t believe it right now. Just give her some time, Leafy will come around… eventually.”

Firey said nothing as he processed what Gelatin just said to him. He thought that he could change? Really? He didn’t understand it, what about Firey gave Gelatin so much confidence in his ability to change? He couldn’t understand his reasoning.

“I’ll, uhhh, I’ll give you some space…” Gelatin mumbled awkwardly as he stepped out of Firey’s room, shutting the door gently behind him and leaving Firey back to his thoughts once more.

A pervasive question continued circling itself through his mind. Could he actually change for the better? Gelatin believed in him but could Firey do the same thing? Could he believe in the possibility of being a better person and hopefully regaining Leafy’s friendship?

He didn’t know, he had no clue. Firey wanted to believe it, he really did but who knows? Although, despite his self-doubt, a lingering feeling of hope was slowly starting to emerge in his chest as he got off of his bed and slowly headed his way outside of his room.

Leafy was starting to wake up, stirring slightly as her eyes blinked rapidly to wake herself up. She yawned as she groaned.

She hated waking up in the morning, because waking up meant another day of having to face everyone, another day of unbridled hatred from everyone that she simply had to brush off and ignore to avoid having a meltdown like she did yesterday.

Right, yesterday. Leafy should probably start pondering over what she should do. Yesterday was intense, there was no doubt about that. Since that was the day where all of the suppressed feelings of anger, despair and helplessness finally came to the surface in her confrontation with Firey.

Everything, from the argument at the courthouse to her breaking down in front of him to their final talk at the cliff was still fresh in her mind. Everything, including what Firey said. All of the apologies to having a heartfelt moment of declaring his love for her only for her to reject him and say that she needed time.

Speaking of that, Leafy didn’t know how much time she would need before coming to a final decision. She knew that deep down, she could feel that Firey did mean every word of his apology but the pain of a decade’s worth of trauma left too many wounds for her to simply ignore. If she had accepted his request for forgiveness, she wouldn’t feel comfortable around her, always being paranoid and worried that Firey was going to revert back to his same old ways and leave her even more broken than she already was.

Leafy knew that hearing her reject him was a deep blow to Firey’s heart but she had to do it, for both of them. If they were ever going to be friends again, Leafy had to have no doubts in her mind that Firey truly cared for her and that whatever change he was going through was permanent and not something that could be switched on and off whenever it was convenient to him.

Still, she was going to have to see him again to give him her answer soon enough, she couldn’t avoid it forever. Leafy was eventually going to have to make a decision about whether or not she could trust him again and be his friend once more.

Leafy sighed, why did Firey have to go and make things so complicated? Because now she wasn’t too sure about her next move or how they were gonna move forward from this. She didn’t even know what she needed time for.

Maybe she was waiting to see if Firey would make any significant changes, to prove her wrong about him and that he could change if he put his mind to it. Or maybe she was just trying to figure out her own feelings about this mess before making any decisions.

Regardless, none of that mattered as it was time to get up and start another day in BFB. Leafy walked over to her mirror and looked at herself, seeing how tired and empty she looked.

A usual look for her but something that the outside world could never know about. So, she instead followed her morning routine of practicing out different smiles and seeing which one looked the most natural. At least then, she could keep up her positive persona.

Each day made it a little bit harder to fake another smile. Each day, Leafy had to try more and more to keep up her facade and not let it break down as she did yesterday. Today, standing in front of the mirror and practicing her smiles, none of them really seemed to come out right.

They all looked too… fake, for her liking at least. You could tell that Leafy was trying her best to keep a happy face on even if that’s not what she truly felt. Leafy assumed that what happened yesterday really took a toll on her, slowly exposing and cracking the walls she desperately tried to keep in place.

She would have spent more time doing this but competing in BFB was more important and her team would eventually start looking for her.

Walking over to her door, Leafy took a deep breath and with her best looking smile, she opened the door and headed out to the outside world. A cool breeze filled the air as she went out looking for the rest of the contestants.

She didn’t see anyone yet, which was pretty strange. Maybe they were simply elsewhere? Perhaps they were at today’s Cake at Stake? Leafy walked over to the area where the eliminations took place and sure enough, she found them.

The strange thing was that they weren’t waiting on Four to start the next elimination. They were all standing around each other, with Gelatin at the center. They looked like they were in the middle of a serious discussion, their faces sour and full of what looked like… remorse? Guilt?

Weird.

“Hey guys! Whatcha doing?” Leafy asked, her voice as sweet as sugar. The moment she said that, everyone froze, looking uncomfortable as they turned towards her.

This would have been expected, seeing as none of them really liked her presence all that much even if she ignored that part of their interactions but the thing that made it so off was that they didn’t seem uncomfortable with Leafy being there but rather uncomfortable with something else, something she couldn’t pinpoint.

“Umm, guys? What’s wrong? Isn’t it time to start the Cake at Stake?” Leafy questioned, trying to understand what was going on.

She watched everyone’s expressions, a deep sense of guilt plastered on all of them. None of them held any eye contact with her, for they looked ashamed to even attempt it.

Leafy raised an eyebrow as she walked over to Bubble, still keeping her innocent and happy pitch, “Bubble, is something wrong? Why do you all look so down?”

She leaned back and forth on the heel of her feet as Bubble stared at the ground, not saying anything. Leafy was about to gently ask her again until she suddenly felt something grab at her and pull her in.

Bubble was hugging her, getting a little teary-eyed as she did, “L-Loify… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I-I…”

Leafy’s eyes widened as she gasped slightly. Bubble was hugging her, why? Leafy thought that Bubble didn’t want anything to do with her after all that happened in BFDI. The two hadn’t been as close as they were back then, having grown distant ever since Leafy stole Dream Island.

“I-I… W-What are you…?” Leafy stammered, unable to comprehend the sudden act of affection and apology. This wasn’t real, was it? Was Leafy still dreaming?

Bubble only seemed to hug her tighter in response. Leafy began to chuckle nervously as her eyes scanned everyone else around her.

“S-Seriously, what’s going on? Why are you all looking at me like that?” She questioned, watching their guilt-ridden faces.

Gelatin suddenly stepped forward near her. Leafy could see that he was thinking about the next words he wanted to say, as if they were extremely important and he couldn’t risk messing them up.

“…Leafy, I, umm… Firey told me what happened yesterday and… how you feel…” He started, his words immediately making Leafy’s heart sink to the bottom of her chest.

“…What?” She asked, an automatic response as her voice grew soft and full of dread.

“I-I guess what I’m trying to say is… what we're all trying to say is sorry… I-I know there’s no real excuses for making you feel like you’re nothing but I… I hope that… I don’t know, I don’t even know what I’m saying.” Gelatin stated, touching his forehead, “I’m sorry, Leafy.”

Leafy stood there in shock, her body shaking as she listened to his words. They knew. That was her worst fear. They knew exactly how she felt, all of the pain and loneliness and self-hatred had finally come out to the surface for everyone to see.

They all knew how she felt.

“I-I don’t… you… what…” Leafy mindlessly stammered, unable to even come up with a response to her nightmare.

Oh god, here it comes, the moment where they would all ridicule her and confirm the one thing she didn’t want to hear; that she truly did mean absolutely nothing and her presence was a burden on them all.

That was the reason why she never told anyone, she couldn’t handle hearing all of that from everyone. When she said it to Firey, she simply wasn’t thinking at the time, letting her emotions get the better of her.

But now it came to bite her in the form of everyone now knowing that she struggled a lot with her own inner demons. Her breathing became hard and she couldn’t stop shaking. Leafy’s eyes scattered across the area, trying to find an exit.

She pulled away from Bubble’s hug and slowly began to back away, her panic now evident to those around her.

“I-I don’t know what you guys are talking about… I-I’m fine, really. Let’s just focus on today’s challenge, okay?” She lied, trying to keep up a smile as sweat dripped down her face and she continued to back up away from the group.

She didn’t want to talk about it, this was the last conversation she ever wanted to have with everyone. Sure, they were being nice but Leafy didn’t like having all of this attention on her, she just wanted to focus on something else that wasn’t herself.

“Leafy…” Gelatin cooed, starting to walk towards her, which only caused her to freak out even more.

“Really, I’m okay! There’s no need for this! Just leave me alone and let’s go back to trying to win, right? That’s what we’re all here for; a prize, you’re not here for me.” She stuttered, any attempts at hiding how upset she was were rendered meaningless as Gelatin kept walking towards her.

More and more steps which only helped to fuel her anxiety at this moment, making her back away from the crowd. She couldn’t explain why she felt like this but all she knew was that she didn’t like it, she really didn’t like it.

Everyone was staring at her. Why was everyone looking at her? Every single pair of eyes seemed to tear into her skin, into her soul and rip it into shreds. Leafy’s body began to feel hot, an intense sensation bubbling up inside of her as she shivered profusely.

“G-Guys, I’m being serious! Nothing is wrong! Please believe me…” Leafy begged, knowing that her words had no meaning anymore. She couldn’t resist back to her regular coping mechanisms, they had all been shattered. This wasn’t a problem she could fix by simply putting a smile on.

Everything she kept inside was now all outside, ready to be judged and criticized. This was all spiraling out of her control, her emotions were building up and she didn’t know how to manage that. Leafy could see Bubble starting to walk up to her again, probably with the intention of more physical comfort but Leafy didn’t want that; she didn’t want any of this!

With a sudden burst of emotion, she pushed Bubble to the floor, but not hard enough to where she would pop and die before she found herself shouting, “LEAVE ME ALONE!” leaving everyone who was nearby to pause and freeze in their steps.

At that moment, Leafy couldn’t handle it anymore running off to somewhere, anyone that wasn’t here. She felt sick, a persistent sense of nausea overwhelming her as she ran. Leafy felt like she was about two seconds away from throwing up. More sweat dripped from her body as her body shook uncontrollably.

Her heart felt like she was on the verge of having a heart attack, beating incredibly fast to where Leafy was half-expecting it to burst itself out of her chest. Her mind felt dizzy, as if she was about to pass out and everything around her was nothing more than a dizzy blur of colors. What was going on? What was happening to her?

A deep sense of panic was the only thing she felt as she kept running, not bothering to look back to see if anyone else was following her. There was nothing left inside of her but a persistent feeling of dread, as if she was about to be struck dead at any moment. Why was she panicking so much? This wasn’t like anything she had experienced before. This wasn’t just another freakout; this was something much worse.

She stopped to catch her breath, realizing she needed to calm down. Leafy tried to control her breathing but found it difficult. Every moment felt like she was slowly dying, as if all of the air was being sucked out of her.

Leafy fell to her knees, desperately trying to find a solution to whatever the hell was happening to her. What was wrong with her?

At that same moment, Firey walked out of his area and outside, immediately seeing Leafy on the floor, clearly distressed. His eyes widened as he ran up to her, crouching down to see what was wrong.

“L-Leafy?!” He stammered, looking at her face which was drenched with sweat as she began to tear up. He didn’t know what was going on. Why was Leafy on the floor? Why did she look like this? Was she okay?! Oh goodness, please be okay.

He was becoming frantic, Firey didn’t understand what was going on. Leafy looked distressed, even more than yesterday. His heart sunk in his chest, silently pleading with Leafy to be okay. He couldn’t explain it but he was begging for Leafy to be alright.

Leafy didn’t know who was nearby but she knew that she caught someone’s attention. It figured, seeing as she was panicking right in front of them. She could figure that the person was saying something but their voice sounded too distant for Leafy to recognize, her ears were ringing.

She instead just clutched at their hand tightly and with a pleading voice, she said, “…Help…”

Firey’s heart dropped as he felt Leafy grabbing his hand tightly, gripping it as if it was some sort of stress ball she needed. 

“H-Help? Do you need help?! D-Do you want me to go get someone?” He asked, only for Leafy to hold his hand tighter. It was almost like a silent way of telling him that she wanted him to stay right there.

He didn’t say anything after that, understanding that the best thing to do now was stay by her side. Of course, Firey still wanted to ask Leafy a bunch of questions: what was going on? What happened to her? Was she going to be okay? Why was she panicking so hard?

Firey wanted to know what was going on because of his deep concern for her. He didn’t like seeing her in such an emotional unstable state, looking like she was ready to pass away and die.

But he refrained himself from doing so, knowing that now was simply not the time and he would figure all of that stuff out later when Leafy was in a better state to talk. Leafy never said anything too, simply finding some sense of comfort and relief from the gesture.

A few moments of silence passed by as Leafy slowly felt her body relax in the presence of her mysterious helper. Her breathing gradually returned to normal as the attack ended.

She didn’t say anything as she kept holding their hand, her body shaking slightly. Leafy didn’t want to let go, she couldn’t tell who it was but she was glad that they stayed with her until she calmed down. Whoever this was, they were pretty kind.

Once she felt comfortable enough, she removed her grip on their hand and simply stayed laying there on the ground until the person spoke up.

“…Leafy, are you okay?” They asked, which caused Leafy to immediately recognize their voice.

She looked up to see the person who thought it was.

“Firey?!” She yelped out in surprise. It was Firey? The one guy who has caused her to feel like this was also the same one who just helped her out of her panic attack?

Firey looked down at her for a moment as he gulped. This was the first time they were talking after what happened at the cliff yesterday. Although, that didn’t really matter compared to what just happened.

Firey couldn’t explain why he did that, it was like nothing else really mattered to him but helping out Leafy in that moment, and he didn’t even know if he did that. But, he hoped that he did something to help Leafy with whatever just happened to her.

“Umm, hey… Leafy…” He stammered, feeling anxious in her presence, “I-I just… was making sure you’re okay and, umm, I…”

He stopped talking, not knowing how to articulate his feelings. If Firey could be honest, he felt extremely nervous in front of Leafy, not only because of their complicated relationship but also because of his newfound feelings for her.

Firey knew that he would eventually have to see her again but he definitely wasn’t expecting it under these circumstances. He was worried about whether or not he would say the right thing but the time for worrying was over.

Leafy didn’t say anything, simply blinking at him as she replayed what just happened. She found comfort in Firey out of all people and it felt… nice? His touch was reassuring and he gave her exactly what she needed at that moment; some quiet time and a comforting hand to lean on.

“I-I’m fine…” She muttered, avoiding eye contact as the pair stood there in silence.

Leafy wasn’t sure what to do now, she didn’t want to come back to her life, as going that way would mean going back to where everyone else was and she didn’t want to see them again after her breakdown.

She needed someone to just relax and collect her thoughts before continuing with her day. Despite everything else telling her not to, she found herself asking Firey a question.

“C-Can I stay with you…” She mumbled, before realizing what she said and correcting herself, “I mean, in your room… for a little bit. I won’t be long, I promise…” Leafy muttered, blushing slightly.

She felt a little embarrassed asking such a thing from Firey. It made her feel like a little bit needy and she didn’t want to seem dependent on if he said yes or not. She knew that asking for such a thing would mean spending time alone with Firey, one on one but it seemed pretty than immediately having to face the other again.

Firey paused, thinking over the decision. Leafy, in his room, with only him and her? That would certainly cause some issues but he also didn’t want to leave her alone here just because things were still a little complicated between them. That wouldn’t be fair of him.

“S-Sure, no problem…” He replied, offering out his hand to pick her up. Leafy glanced at it for a second before ultimately letting Firey help her up and they walked into his room.

Firey opened the door for Leafy and she stepped inside, letting Leafy go in first and shutting the door behind them. She stopped in the doorway and stared at his room, seeing the messy space. It looked like it had been abandoned for a little while.

“S-Sorry for the mess, didn’t get to cleaning it yet…” Firey awkwardly replied, rubbing his arm. He mentally cursed himself for letting Leafy see his room in the current state that it was.

Fuck, this was the first time she had ever been in his room and he left it like this. He knew that he couldn’t blame himself too hard for it, seeing as he wasn’t expecting her to come in today but still. He was letting a girl into his room and it looked like shit.

“It’s fine.” She blankly replied as she went to go sit on his bed, her feet edging against the floor as Firey stood beside her, a few feet away.

A tense overcame the two as they sat in silence. Firey didn’t want to get too close to Leafy, out of fear of accidentally killing her. He pondered over if now was a good time to talk about yesterday and all of those implications. Or maybe he should just say nothing and wait until Leafy was ready to leave.

Ah, he probably shouldn’t mention it. Leafy was definitely in no mood to talk about that right now, especially after her little freakout out there. Firey would just have to wait until a better moment to talk about all of that stuff. For now, he was okay with simply just being here.

“…You can sit down next to me if you want,” Leafy suddenly spoke, “I don’t want to force you to stand up the entire time.”

Firey winced, immediately beginning to reject her request, “N-No, it’s fine, I don’t mind.”

Leafy replied with a very stern, “Firey.” before making space and patting the spot next to her, inviting him to take a seat.

Firey sighed, seeing as Leafy was being insistent and he didn’t want to have a little argument about this. It would be fine, as long as he wasn’t too close to her.

Still, it made him wonder about why she wanted him to sit down next to her. Firey didn’t want to misinterpret her actions or make it seem like this was a sign of her trusting him again. She probably just wanted some form of comfort even if it was from him.

He hesitated before sitting down besides her, making sure he was a little bit away from her as his flames flickered. Not too close or she would get burned, that’s what he told himself. Leafy glanced over at him before scooting slightly towards him, not by a lot but the idea was still there.

Firey’s face burned with embarrassment, feeling like he was some lovesick teenager with his crush sitting right besides him. Leafy was so pretty and he didn’t know how to react.

His legs swung back and forth as he looked over at the floor, Firey felt his hand brush up against Leafy’s for a moment before pulling away. Firey was tempted to hold her hand, he really was but he also knew that it wasn’t his place; he was not her friend yet, let alone being her boyfriend.

Meanwhile, Leafy was staring at his room, taking in the sight. Sure, it was messy and dirty but it was also peaceful and calming. Her eyes continued to scan around the area until she noticed something on one of Firey’s dressers.

She got up and walked over to it, picking up a photo frame of the two of them from all of the way back from season one. It was of the two smiling as Firey took a picture of them. Leafy said nothing as she continued to stare at it, old memories starting to flood through.

Leafy remembered this photo. Firey wanted to take one as a way of celebrating making it into the final three in BFDI after everyone else had been eliminated. She could still picture the words in her mind, as if he said them yesterday.

“Just a way for us to look back on this and smile! Best friends forever!”

Ouch, that definitely stung considering what happened to them. Best friends forever, huh? Oh, if they knew what was to come the day after this photo, the day where Firey won Dream Island and she stole it, leading to their current issues.

She was looking back on this, sure, but she definitely wasn’t smiling. Leafy hated looking at this photo, seeing how happy the two were when they were best friends; actual best friends.

A hand went to brush at the photo, making Leafy think about how their past selves would think of how their relationship turned out ten years later. Maybe they would be ashamed or disappointed in how their future selves were handling their relationship.

More memories flooded in from that night. Leafy could remember it in clear detail, as if it happened merely yesterday.

Firey snapped the photo and showed it off to Leafy, who looked at it in awe and smiled.

“Wow, we look good in this one.” She happily cheered as she handed it back to him.

“Well, are you surprised? I do look good in everything, I’m sure my natural beauty rubbed off on you.” Firey boastfully replied, causing Leafy to giggle.

She laughed a little bit more until her face dropped, making Firey look over at her and poke her cheek.

“Hey, what’s with the long face? Aren’t you happy? We made it into the final three! You, me or Bubble is gonna win Dream Island! Isn’t that epic?” Firey asked, air pumping as he smirked.

“Yeah… it is…” Leafy said, trying to look positive even though it was clear that something was on her mind.

Firey paused and looked a little more serious as he grabbed her hand, pulling her slightly towards him. “Come on, what’s wrong? You can tell me!”

Leafy sighed as she let out a low hum, unsure of how to begin to explain. Her voice felt dry as she spoke.

“I… I don’t know. I guess… I’m a little sad that it’s over? I mean, I’m happy that we both made it this far but I guess we’ve spent so long competing that it’s gonna feel without it.”

Instead of immediately responding, Firey took a seat on the grass and patted the spot next to him, encouraging Leafy to take a seat beside him. She accepted the invitation and Firey started to comfort her.

“But, that’s no reason to be so down. I don’t like seeing you look so sad.” He cooed, “I had a lot of fun too and I’m sad that it’s ending but we can still have fun without BFDI, you know?”

“I know, I know… but I… I… you’re my first best friend, Firey and I’m just a little scared that if we don’t compete anymore, we won’t be as close anymore. We only started being best friends because of BFDI and now it’s ending and we might stop talking.”

She didn’t like saying her worries out loud, fearing that it made her sound a little childish. Maybe she was overreacting and getting worried over nothing but she really liked and cared for Firey, and she didn’t want him to leave her. Leafy really enjoyed their time together.

“Ah, I’m sorry! This sounds stupid anyway, we should probably head to-!”

“I get it, I’m sad too. Being here has been a lot of fun… and stressful too. But all of that was worth it because I met you, Leafy.” Firey said, making Leafy blush slightly, “I promise you that we’ll be best friends forever! No matter what happens tomorrow, no matter who wins, we’re always gonna be together and we’re always gonna be friends! I’ll never leave your side.”

Leafy didn’t say anything for a few moments, starting to tear up slightly as she smiled from his heartfelt words.

“You… mean it?” Leafy asked.

“Of course I do! I’ll always be your best friend!” He replied.

Leafy started to giggle a little bit as she tried to cover her blushing face, feeling a little shy from his affectionate words, “…Thanks. You always know how to make me feel better.”

“Well, of course I do! I’m just that awesome.” Firey declared, looking a little boastful which made Leafy roll her eyes, still a little amused by it.

“I wouldn’t get so sure about that.” She suggested.

“Oh, really? Then why are you blushing so much?” Firey teased, pointing at her red face, “Looks like someone likes me! Aww, you got a little crush on me, Leafy?”

“H-Huh?!” Leafy stammered, becoming even more embarrassed, “N-No, I don’t!”

“You totally do! You’re probably thinking about how cute I am, not like you’d be wrong anyway.” Firey teased, “I am pretty charming.”

Leafy rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but smile, “Charming? I wouldn’t call you that. You’re… way more of a dork.”

“I’m your dork though, I’m the dork that you like~!” Firey answered in a sing-song voice.

Leafy laughed once again as she stepped up and offered out her hand to Firey, “Come on, you idiot, we gotta head to bed.”

Firey nodded and allowed her to help him up. The moonlight paved a peaceful glow over the area as the two best friends headed back, hand in hand.

Leafy felt warm, a sense of peace washing over her as she interlocked fingers with Firey. She couldn’t help but give him a sweet smile.

“You’re totally in love with me, aren’t you?” Firey teased once more, snapping Leafy out of her daze and causing her to groan in frustration.

“Firey!” Leafy yelled, both annoyed and amused by his words.

“Don’t worry, since you’re so attached to me, I promise to marry you when we’re older.” Firey declared, “I did say that we’ll be together forever!”

Leafy playfully elbowed him, “You’re impossible.”

“More like you think I’m irresistible~!” Firey teased.

Leafy laughed once more and stared at her best friend fondly as they walked back, a genuine warmth and connection between them.

He really was her best friend, wasn’t he?

Back in the present, Leafy began to tear up as the memory stopped. A sense of longing started to fill her heart as she remembered how close they used to be. And how distant they were now.

Fuck, she didn’t think that this would hurt so bad. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, her heart longed for those experiences once again.

“…Guess you were right, Firey… even now you’re still by my side, just not in the way you… or me were hoping for.” She sighed.

Leafy was so distracted in thinking about the past that she didn’t even notice it when Firey walked up behind her to see what she was holding.

“Whatcha doing?” He asked, causing Leafy to get startled and drop the photo of the two, shattering the frame onto the floor.

She let out a startled gasp and looked down at the floor to see the broken picture frame. A large crack had appeared in the middle of the photo, right between where Leafy and Firey were.

“Oh, no… I’m so sorry…” Leafy apologized as she crouched down to pick up the photo.

Firey stood over her as she tried to clean up the mess she made, attempting her best to not accidentally cut herself from the broken glass pieces. He looked at the photo frame, noticing the large crack that had formed in between the space where Leafy and Firey stood in the photo.

“Wow… fuck you too, universe…” Firey internally declared, feeling slightly annoyed at this very overt metaphor of how their relationship currently was in the form of the crack in the picture, “Thanks for being super subtle, as if I don’t already know…”

He leaned down to try to help her as well, mumbling something along the lines of, “It’s okay, we can fix us…” before correcting him, “I-I mean we can fix it. T-The photo, I mean.”

Leafy pretended not to hear what Firey originally said as a question popped in her mind. This photo was over ten years old and yet Firey kept it this entire time? Why?

“…Why’d you keep this picture of us?” Leafy questioned as she continued to break up broken glass.

Firey paused, wincing from the question, “O-Oh, I-I… umm, I just… found it randomly and I looked good in it so I wanted to keep it! N-Not to say you didn’t look good in it either, you always look pretty!” He said, before internally slamming his head against a brick wall as he processed what he just said out loud.

He just told Leafy to her face that he always thinks she looks pretty. Well, it’s not like he was wrong about it but now was not the time to start fawning over her. Ugh, it was like he wasn’t even himself when she was around.

“A-And I like the frame we put it in and I have no other photos to use that frame so why not, right? And I don’t like throwing out stuff that isn’t trash and it just looks good in my room, you know..  and I already had it packed and it’s already so much effort to get rid of it and, umm, I, umm…” He rambled, trying to give off excuse after excuse on the spot despite the fact that it clearly wasn’t believable.

He stopped, looking at Leafy’s face and realized she wasn’t buying any of his excuses. To be honest, even Firey knew all of what he was saying was complete bullshit, nothing more than a pile of rubbish.

“…And I guess I just wanted a reminder of… us… and you.” He bashfully said, feeling himself blushing as he gulped, “I guess I just wanted to see your face again, ahaha…”

He kept an awkward smile on the outside while he was beating himself up on the inside. Oh, oxygen, did he just say that? Ever since yesterday happened, Firey couldn’t stop himself from feeling like a nervous wreck and Leafy’s presence was not helping with that.

Although, he wasn’t being super truthful here. He always kept this photo, but he never liked seeing it when he still hated Leafy. It felt like a horrible reminder of who they were before the whole incident with Dream Island and that his best friend was, as he put it in the past, a dirty little island stealer.

Well, the photo still gave him a bad feeling now but it was more because of his own flaws and he messed everything up. The only reason Firey even got it out was because he wanted a reminder of who they could be if their relationship could ever be restored.

Leafy responded with a simple, “…Oh,” before going back to helping clean up. But, a small smile seemed to be forming even if she tried to suppress it and the small amount of warmth she felt from his admission.

That was cute, he kept it because he wanted to see her face again? That was… a really sweet thing to say. Leafy didn’t want to show it or say anything about it but her heart thumped happily from the admission.

“Well, umm, sorry I broke it, that photo meant a lot to me too.” She muttered.

“No, it’s fine! I’m sorry for breaking you… I mean… ummm, it’s not your fault. The photo is still okay, it just needs a new frame, one that isn’t so old and then it’ll be better and stronger the next time around.”

Leafy hummed in response to that before moving the conversation along, “You remember what you said to me after this photo was taken?”

“Ummm, think so. I made some dumb joke about marrying you when we got older, right?” He asked, seemingly oblivious to how awkward that was.

“Yeah, you did…” Leafy replied, trying to keep a straight face despite the small smile that lasted for a fraction of a second and the feeling of warmth spreading on her face.

“O-Oh! But, umm, that was just a dumb joke I said when I was a teen! Y-You know I wasn’t being serious, right?” Firey asked, blushing as well as the two shared a look, staring in each other’s eyes before looking away.

“Yeah… of course…” Leafy nodded, “We were both dumb as kids. Although, I guess you’re still the same… a massive dork.” She replied, letting out a small giggle.

Firey let out a pretend offended gasp as his face dropped, “Ouch, I thought I got a little better!”

“Hmm, nope! Still the same old dork to me.” Leafy replied, “No matter what you do, you’ll aleays be the same dorky little Firey.”

Firey chuckled, “Well, if I’m still a dork, then you’re still a shy little leaf.”

“I am not shy.” Leafy remarked, “You’re just delusional.”

“Delusional? How rude! I think you’re shy and that’s all that matters.” He happily declared.

“Oh, didn’t know you were the one who decided who I am.” Leafy sarcastically said.

“Well, when you’re as awesome as me…” Firey trailed off, smirking proudly.

Leafy playfully shook her head, “Dorky fire.”

“Shy leaf.” Firey shot back.

The pair began to start laughing, both clearly amused with each other. It felt like for a moment, just for a single moment, they were still the same two kids competing in BFDI, as if that part of them had never really left them at their core. 

The moment felt so natural, like their friendship was just as strong as it had been all of those years ago. It was taking them back to the past, where their friendship was strong and felt like it would last forever.

Firey and Leafy stared at each other fondly, both smiling until they felt their hands brushing up against each other, a subconscious gesture neither of them had been aware of. Once it happened, it was like they both had been out of a daze, blinking rapidly before they looked away from each other, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Firey gulped, feeling the tension in the room once again. He had to ask her, they had to talk about it. As nice as this conversation was, it was all really nothing more than a distraction from talking about the real pressing issues that still existed between them, even now.

“…Leafy,” he started, “About yesterday…”

Leafy winced in discomfort as she stood up, picking up the broken pieces of glass and setting them down on his dresser as she chuckled nervously, “W-Well, I’ve been in here long enough. It’s probably time I leave anyway.”

Firey frowned, seeing how even the mere mention of what happened between them last night was enough to make Leafy immediately want to separate herself from him. An understandable reaction but one he wasn’t too fond of. Guess that now wasn’t the time to talk about that.

“Yeah, ummm, I’ll see you later, Leafster.” Firey said, giving her finger guns to hide from the fact that he just used his old nickname for her.

“Bye…” Leafy hesitantly said before walking towards the door. She pulled on the doorknob before turning back around to give Firey a quick glance as she left, shutting the door behind her.

Now left alone, Firey picked up the photo from the floor and held it in his hands. For a split second back there, Firey and Leafy were still those same kids who were best friends and thought that they could conquer the world as long as they were together while doing it.

Well, maybe they could still be those kids again.

That moment between them was… a nice one. Definitely way better than the screaming match they had yesterday. It gave Firey a sense of hope, seeing Leafy laugh and smile like that because of him. He wanted more of that warm feeling, more of that time with her.

With another sigh, Firey gently placed the photo of them back down on the counter as he headed out his door. An idea was starting to form in his head for the next step he could take in the slow process of rebuilding their relationship.

He just hoped it was a good one.

Chapter Text

As the door shut, Leafy leaned her back against the door and sighed, slapping at her forehead. Fuck, that was an awkward exit, she didn’t even give him a moment to talk, she just left him the moment he brought up what happened yesterday.

She knew that it wasn’t fair, that she would have to eventually talk about their relationship with Firey and give him an answer as to if they could be friends again or not. Leafy couldn’t just leave him hanging forever and avoid talking about it just because she didn’t want to. It was an inevitable conversation that she would eventually no longer push aside.

But, the moment for that was not now. They were having such a nice moment, one that didn’t feel gripped by uncertainty and awkward tension between them. It didn’t feel like they were two people navigating a strained, almost broken relationship but rather it was just Leafy and Firey chatting like old times.

The only reason she left was because when Firey mentioned their confrontation yesterday, it gave Leafy a sudden and harsh reminder that they weren’t best friends anymore, that their relationship wasn’t some unbreakable bond as they once declared but rather a messy and weird tangle of emotions that they didn’t say out loud.

What was she supposed to do? Why couldn’t this be easy? Leafy knew that giving off excuses wasn’t going to fix anything and neither was waiting for the right time. There would probably never be a good time to talk about it, no perfect moment to bring up how their future would look like. Leafy needed to make time but that was only after she had a long discussion with herself, weighing the pros and cons of having Firey back into her life.

God, what was he doing to her? It was hard to reconcile the fact that the same guy who stole Donut’s diary only to try to pin the blame on her so she could “feel what he felt when she stole his island,” was also the same guy who was affectionately teasing her and even managed to make her blush.

It was like two different people who just happened to look the exact same. There was the version of Firey from yesterday, the manipulative, self-absorbed, toxic, childish one who caused her life to completely go down the drain because of the entire Dream Island incident. And then there was the other version, the one who seemed genuinely sorry for what he did and really did want to reconnect and reconcile their relationship so they could be friends again.

Leafy tried to remind herself that having one good moment didn’t completely absolve what happened in the past decade, but even with that, Firey was… he was… a guy, who existed, that she had a lot of feelings towards and none of them really ever making total sense.

Why couldn’t he make this easy on her? Either he was her enemy or he was her friend, Firey couldn’t be both and yet he was. He made Leafy want him but also not want him at the same time. Ugh, why did this have to happen?

This would be so much easier if Leafy could just put him into a box and immediately decide what she should do. Or if she could see into the future and decide if being friends with Firey was worth it or not. That would be so much better than going back and forth with herself over this.

What made it worse was that there was clearly something between them. Leafy couldn’t deny the very crystal clear chemistry they still shared and the way Firey was looking at her was enough to make her wanna melt at the spot. An undeniable connection was beginning to form and Leafy wasn’t too sure how she could handle that.

Firey was very clearly into her, if his reactions such as calling her pretty, saying that he wanted to see her face again and his overall adorkable attitude was anything to go by. It wasn’t much of a secret and they both could beat around the bush and just pretend that it wasn’t there all they wanted; it wouldn’t change the outcome anyway.

She could tell that he was forming a little crush on her, that affectionate-filled gaze full of nothing short of pure awe said it all, even if Firey never outright said anything suggesting he held anything more than platonic affection for her.

Well, she did know that he liked her, if him going down on his knees and exclaiming that he loved her meant anything but this was more… genuine. This wasn’t to say Leafy thought he was lying before, but rather that when he stared at her now, she could practically hear him thinking, “Oh my gosh… Leafy is so pretty…”

Leafy did believe him completely when he said that he loved her. She could feel it in his voice, each declaration of affection wasn’t a lie but something was definitely different.

Maybe it was because the circumstances were a little different. After all, he was saying that during a pretty emotionally-driven conversation about what happened to them and used it as a way to really tell her that he cared deeply about her.

But, his actions were definitely way more interesting to see than mere words. Firey was unknowingly becoming more and more endearing to Leafy with each passing moment.

Leafy wasn’t sure what to do about that, it wasn’t like they needed any more tension in their relationship and all of these feelings weren’t helping that. It’s not like she hated it either, seeing Firey act all shy and easily flustered around her was a cute sight; Firey was cute. He was unintentionally charming her with every passing moment.

Leafy guessed that she had a bit of a type, and that type so happened to be guys who she wasn’t sure if she should like or completely despise. Great.

But, it just made things even more complex because now Leafy also had to decide if her own feelings for her ex-best friend were pushing her towards forgiving him. Was she just seeing him through rose-tinted glasses or was this a genuine sign of change? She wasn’t sure.

It also made her worried if she could even let their relationship develop that far. Leafy was struggling enough with figuring out if she could let Firey be her friend again, how was she supposed to decide if he could be her boyfriend?

Why did relationships have to be so messy? Or was it that their relationship specifically was extremely complicated and hard to define? Regardless, Leafy needed to get a move on.

She sighed as she peeled her back away from the door and started to move forward, still thinking heavily about what she wanted to do now.

Her mind flipped back and forth between if she wanted to be Firey’s friend or if it would just lead to her getting hurt again. Maybe she needed someone to talk to about this and all of her feelings but who?

Four would certainly not give a shit and X would probably try his best but it wouldn’t be enough. Firey was automatically out for very obvious reasons so that left the remaining contestants on BFB but considering that she had a panic attack just because they knew about her internal struggle also made that option a negative.

So, in a nutshell, there was no one for Leafy to talk to. Figures, it had been this way for years so what’s a little more time of dealing with everything internally?

Leafy hummed to herself as she kicked at the floor, feeling frustrated about all of this weirdness when a voice called out to her and made her freeze in her steps.

“Leafy! I finally found you.” Gelatin said, starting to walk over to her.

Leafy felt a shiver run up her body as she watched the green dessert get ever so closer to her. She couldn’t speak to him, not after having a public meltdown in front of him and everyone else.

Oh god, what was he even coming near her for? Probably to ask her if she was okay, which she clearly wasn’t. She knew that she needed to talk about all of this and deep down, she did want someone to listen but… talking about her feelings made her feel too vulnerable. It’s why she even formed her optimistic facade in the first place. If she made everything look like it was fine, maybe everyone would believe it and not look behind the curtain to see a girl who was undoubtedly struggling.

Visible sweat appeared on Leafy’s face as she contemplated simply running away again. The only issue is that she didn’t have Firey to lean on in that scenario. Not to mention, it’s not like she would avoid talking to Gelatin or everyone else forever.

So, she instead stood there and waited, gulping down her nerves as Gelatin got closer and closer to her. Leafy’s hand balled up into fists as she tried to control her shaking.

“Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. You’re okay, it’ll all be okay.” She mentally reminded herself as Gelatin got near her.

Instead, she forced a smile which immediately vanished as soon as it came. Figures, if her usual coping mechanism has been destroyed, there was no way she was gonna be able to use it again.

“H-Hey, Gelatin…” Leafy stammered, giving him a friendly wave to which he reciprocated.

“Hey, Leafy.” He replied, standing a few inches next to her, “Umm, you… feeling okay?”

Leafy winced, knowing what he was referring to. Gelatin was basically asking her if she had calmed down from her panic attack, meaning this wasn’t going to go as smoothly as she hoped.

It made sense, who wouldn’t want to know if she was okay after witnessing her freak out in front of a bunch of people? It was an understandable concern but it didn’t make Leafy feel any better.

She subconsciously found herself beginning to say, “I-I’m fi-!” before she stopped herself mid-sentence. For a moment, Leafy felt herself being more… open to the idea of actually talking.

It was like it dawned on her that she couldn’t keep saying that she was fine when she wasn’t. Leafy wasn’t okay and someone else did need to know about that fact.

So many times, she brushed things off because she thought it was better that way. That no one would really care about her and her feelings so it was for the best of everyone if she said that everything was fine.

No worries, no concerns, no way for anyone to judge her or criticize her for feeling the same emptiness inside, that same pondering over why she was even still alive and whether or not she’d be better off dead.

But, that’s just what she thought others wanted. What Leafy wanted was for someone to care, for someone to talk to, for someone to listen. Leafy wanted a true friend who could speak to about… everything.

“…No, I’m not.” She answered, her voice becoming more downbeat and full of confusion and sorrow. Leafy hung her down low and frowned.

It felt strange to say those words out loud, as they were something she kept to herself. Maybe she wanted to deny it, hoping that smiling through it all would somehow make it okay. That if she said she was fine and happy, one day it would become the truth.

Gelatin sighed, looking at his friend. “I know… come on, let’s walk and talk.” He invited, starting to walk forward to which Leafy followed close behind him.

“…Okay, so, before you say anything, I just wanna say that I’m sorry.” Gelatin remarked, causing Leafy to look up at him, “I heard that some stuff went down between you and Firey and… I dunno, he told me about it and I thought that you would want the others to help you.”

Gelatin sighed again, “But, I see now that it wasn’t cool of me. I put you on the spot and made you panic. I should have done something like this first; talk to you one-on-one before telling everyone else. It wasn’t my business to share and I should have thought about it if you actually wanted others to know, which kinda seems stupid now since you didn’t tell anyone for like… how long have I known you? Eight years now?”

He let out a little laugh after that, although it sounded a bit forced and more like he wanted to ease the inherent tension between them, “Damn, we’re getting old. Gonna be an old man soon enough.”

Leafy smiled slightly from his joke. Despite everything, Gelatin was a pretty funny guy, never taking all that much seriously. This was probably the first time Leafy had ever seen him not in a joking mood.

“Oh, please, you’re gonna see me in a walking cane way before anything happens to you.” Leafy replied, playfully nudging Gelatin.

Gelatin smiled in response before clearing his throat. “But, umm, jokes aside, I’m sorry, Leafy. I didn’t mean to make you run away or get upset, I just wanted to help… in an admittedly kinda shitty way. Personal feelings are personal, not something to share willy-nilly.”

Leafy could see that Gelatin was feeling truly remorseful for what he had done. He did do her wrong, going around and sharing her innermost feelings and struggles with the others but she couldn’t hold it against him. Gelatin was only trying to be a good friend and help out in the way he thought was best.

The last thing she wanted was for Gelatin to blame himself entirely for her panic attack. She didn’t want him to sit there and feel guilty, contemplating the “what ifs” like she did when stuck in Yoyleland.

“It’s fine, Gelatin… I know you were only trying to help.” Leafy’s soft voice replied, “…Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Thanks… so, are we still friends? Even after I may or may not have just let you eat shit in silence?” Gelatin hesitantly questioned, raising his hand for a fist bump.

“We’re still friends.” She remarked, giving him the requested hand gesture.

Gelatin grinned as he made a mock explosion as they fist bump, making a sound effect along with it. His smile eventually faded as he looked more serious.

“Okay, but… enough about me. What’s going on with you, Leafy? And I promise that you can tell me and I won’t go telling the others. It’s just between you and me now.” He cooed.

Leafy took a breath, thinking over her words and what she wanted to say. If she could be honest, she didn’t know what was going on with her. Leafy didn’t know why she couldn’t be happy, why she was now like this. A far departure from the girl who was a little obsessed with being seen as the nicest person ever.

After what happened with Dream Island, she never really thought of herself as a good person. It started off with small thoughts and debates with herself as to if she really was a bad person for taking Dream Island and it was her fault why she no longer had any friends.

It snowballed into thinking about what life would be like if she wasn’t around. Maybe she would be better off just no longer being around. After all, she had no friends, not anymore at least. Leafy had no one to talk to, no one to confide in about any of her problems and she felt lonely.

“…I don’t know what to say,” Leafy replied, shaking her head, “It sounds stupid… but I don’t know what to say. I mean… even now… I still feel like you don’t care…” Leafy muttered.

“But I do!” Gelatin remarked.

“I know, so why doesn’t it feel like that?!” Leafy questioned, raising her voice slightly, “Why am I like this? Why do I feel like this? Why is there something wrong with me?”

She was becoming emotional, her breathing starting to get rapid as she wiped at her eyes. Leafy wanted an answer to her questions so badly. She didn’t know what was wrong with her, or why she felt like this.

It had been so long and these problems still stuck with her, as if they were a part of her that she couldn’t shake off no matter what she did.

Leafy couldn’t even describe what she was feeling. How could she explain the feeling of being alone even though she was surrounded by people? How could she describe the sense of loneliness and isolation that has plagued for years now?

It made her feel selfish. She finally had someone who was willing to listen, something she had been desiring for a while now, only to freeze up and not know what she wanted to say.

No, that wasn’t quite right. Leafy knew what she wanted to say but she didn’t know how to describe it. It felt like no words could even come close to these persistent feelings and pain.

If she had to guess where it started, it probably began all the way back when she was in Yoyleland by herself after being forced to stay there so her ex-friends wouldn’t murder her for stealing Dream Island.

She could remember each day, because it was all the same. Leafy would sit down and do nothing, besides occasionally eating Yoyle Berries so she didn’t die. That time alone gave her a chance to sit and reflect.

It gave her insecurities a chance to grow and consume her. After all, once everyone who used to like you chased you down and despised you while your ex-best friend completely ghosted you for a decade, you start to not love yourself as much.

Leafy would sit down, with nothing but her thoughts circling her head and keeping her company. Unfortunately, the only thing she thought about was how everything was her fault, how she was now truly and utterly alone.

If she could be honest, even after everything that happened after BFDI ended, with BFDIA, IDFB and now BFB, Leafy would always feel alone.

Leafy may have physically no longer been by herself and was no longer on that small island but she never really mentally left Yoyleland.

She remembered telling herself each day she was stuck there that they would come back for her eventually. Pin, Match, Pencil, Blocky, Pen, Coiny or someone would come get her. They couldn’t be mad forever.

Sure, they were pissed the last time she saw them, considering they all tried to kill her but surely as time passes by, they would forget about it and everything would be okay.

Oh, how wrong she was. They never came, no one ever did. Days turned into weeks which turned into months which turned into years.

Each statement she told herself, “They’ll come back. Any day now,” grew less and less accurate as the days wore on. Leafy could feel herself losing more and more hope as time passed.

And then one day, it hit her; Leafy was alone. It’s not that she didn’t understand that before or she was oblivious to the physical sensation of solitude but rather she was now acknowledging the emotional loneliness.

Leafy was alone. No one was coming back for her. In fact, they didn’t want her back. No one ever came looking for her because they liked it better when she was gone.

They didn’t come back not only because they didn’t want her back but because they were too focused on BFDIA, the ones that participated with the new contestants at least.

That part added to the pain, that they didn’t come back because they were too focused on winning yet again. Teardrop, Match, Rocky, Coiny, Golf Ball, Ice Cube, Pencil, Pin, Spongy and Tennis Ball were all too focused on winning another stupid contest than the person who they abandoned and left to rot by herself.

That was a sucker punch right to her heart. She couldn’t even begin to explain how much it hurt to hear what should have been her friends tell her straight to her face about how much they preferred it when she wasn’t around them.

Her issues may have started in Yoyleland but having that only intensified them. How was she supposed to take that? How was she supposed to react to hearing that all of the BFDI veterans had a much better time when she wasn’t around them.

It made her feel like a piece of trash, something inherently worthless and made to be discarded without question. No one cries when it’s time to throw the trash away; just like how no one cried and even cared about her when she was gone. An utterly worthless being.

None of that was helped with the introduction of their fourth season; BFB. At least, before the split happened. Leafy thought that this was her chance to maybe start to make amends and fix things.

It had been about eight years since the Dream Island incident happened. It had to have washed away by now. It had to. There was no way that they were all still upset at her for something that happened so long ago.

Wrong, as always. Whenever she tried talking to them, it always felt so awkward and forced. Leafy could tell that none of them really enjoyed her company or her speaking to them. She even remembered a few of them rolling their eyes once they saw that she was back after being absent for season two.

They all seemed way too eager to end the conversation quickly. Leafy tried her best to show them that the past was in the past and she was ready to move on. She never even mentioned what happened in Yoyleland but none of it mattered.

Excuses were made, with some of them having to “go check on their teams,” or “introduce themselves to the new contestants.” It was all fake, Leafy could tell. They didn’t want to tell her straight up that they didn’t want to talk to her.

Well, a few did. Match, Pencil and Golf Ball came to mind. They all told her that they weren’t interested in speaking to her again. The one that stuck with her the most was the time she tried talking to Tennis Ball and Golf Ball.

“I see what you’re trying to do.” Golf Ball stated, eyes narrowed as she stared at Leafy.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, GB…” She stammered, giving off an awkward chuckle. “I just wanted to stop in and say hi. After all, it’s been a while, right?”

Golf Ball scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I’m not an idiot, Leafy. You think that this is your chance to somehow fix your mistake of stealing Dream Island, correct? That perhaps we have all forgotten about it.”

Leafy sucked in some air and started to think of an excuse. Golf Ball seemed to be the same person as before, being able to immediately figure out Leafy’s intentions due to her being undoubtedly one of the smartest people she knew.

“As if something like that would ever happen. Did you think we’d all welcome you back with open arms… well, the ones of us that do have arms… just because you said sorry? It’s because of you that we’re even still competing right! Had it not been for your utter stupidity, we wouldn’t be here in the first place. We all would have been on Dream Island!” Golf Ball remarked, her words tearing into Leafy like a knife slash.

Leafy could see Golf Ball looking frustrated with her, more so than she remembered. She wanted to say something, but she didn’t know what that would be. It looked like even if she was actively trying, it didn’t matter to some.

She didn’t want to hear Golf Ball say that, because she already knew it. Leafy knew that she was the reason why all of them were still competing for dumb prizes. It only made her feel worse about it.

Her eyes glanced over at Tennis Ball, who was standing right next to GB. She silently pleaded with him to defend her, to say something about this to his best friend. Leafy watched him as his mouth opened and he stammered out some words, “I-I… Golf Ball…”

The girl in question gave him a sharp look and Tennis Ball immediately shut up, looking uncomfortable as he gave an awkward apology, “I-I mean… I didn’t say anything…”

His own eyes fixated themselves onto the grassy floor, no longer looking at Leafy’s as his feet shuffled uncomfortably. She could tell that he wanted to say something but he was also loyal to Golf Ball and likely didn’t want to cause an argument. It made sense, he never liked fighting with Golf Ball and tended to just agree with her to keep the peace.

There was no way he was gonna change his submissive attitude towards Golf Ball just for Leafy. Why would he challenge his best friend for someone he hadn’t even seen in almost ten years? It was unrealistic to expect Tennis Ball to change his ways for someone who was barely in his life. He was always gonna side with Golf Ball even if he didn’t want to.

If Leafy could be honest, their relationship seemed to change. Golf Ball never seemed this demanding for Tennis Ball’s undying loyalty to her before. Their friendship seemed more like a dictatorship with Golf Ball being in control of TB than any signs of an equal partnership that they had before.

To be fair, that might have been because Golf Ball herself was different than Leafy remembered her. While it could be the fact that Leafy hadn’t seen her in a while, Golf Ball’s entire presence felt more… tense, hostile and aggressive. While she certainly had her unlikable traits before, such as her big ego and reluctance to admit any fault, Golf Ball now felt more competitive than ever before.

Although, who was Leafy to talk about any potential changes? She hadn’t been there during BFDIA. Maybe things had changed between them and she would just have to deal with the new versions of Golf Ball and Tennis Ball.

“…Umm, look… Leafy, we gotta go, umm, say hi to all of the other contestants.” Tennis Ball said, trying to defuse all of the tension between them even though it seemed unlikely.

Leafy’s face dropped into one of sadness as she looked away from the pair. It was an obvious cop-out from Tennis Ball, not wanting to outright defend her so he wouldn’t get into trouble with Golf Ball but still wanting to do something. He probably didn’t actually want to introduce himself to the others, simply wanting to make a believable reason for why they had to go. It was probably the best she was gonna get.

She looked up at him to see him mouth the words, “Sorry,” to which Leafy reluctantly nodded her head and gave her silent approval.

“…A-Alright, I won’t stop you…” She muttered, her voice barely above a whisper as Golf Ball and Tennis Ball gave each other a look.

“Umm, we’ll see you later, okay?” Tennis Ball stated, to which Leafy only gave a half-hearted nod as her head hung low.

The two walked off from her as Leafy dragged her hand down her face, mumbling words of regret underneath her breath.

To be fair, it wasn’t just those two either. Bubble seemed uncomfortable around her and people like Eraser and Blocky always found some way to avoid any further conversation.

It hurt her a lot. Leafy only really wanted to come back for BFB so she could try to get her friends back but none of them really seemed to feel the same way. They made new friends with new people, like Fanny with Bubble or Woody with Taco.

One specific incident that she would never forget was her attempt to talk to Pin. While she was the one who suggested killing Leafy in the first place, they were all older now and surely eight years gave her a lot of time to mature from how forceful and bossy she was the last time Leafy spoke to her.

“Hey, Pin!” Leafy cheerily exclaimed, skipping her over to her old friend. Despite the fact that her attempts at speaking the others didn’t go as smoothly as she hoped, surely Pin would be the one to accept her.

She really hoped that this was the case.

Leafy watched Pin’s smile gradually fade away as she looked at Leafy, a visible look of suppressed annoyance plastered on her face as she let out an irritated sigh.

“Hey… Leafy.” She replied, her voice blank and without any emotion, “I didn’t think you’d be back.”

“Well, umm, neither did I but here I am! Gosh, it’s been so long since I saw you.” Leafy smiled, trying to keep up a positive look even though Pin was clearly not as excited as she was.

“…Yeah, I guess it has.” Pin said, crossing her arms as her left foot tapped against the ground.

Even though Leafy was smiling, she felt pretty hurt. This conversation was painfully one-sided. Pin was barely putting any effort into trying to keep it going, almost as if she was hoping it’d end.

The two stood there in an awkward and uncomfortable silence between them. Leafy could see Pin was looking at everyone else, perhaps coming up with a believable excuse to leave.

“So… what’s been going on with you? You were a part of BFDIA, right? How was it to be with new contestants?” Leafy questioned, trying to keep Pin from leaving.

“It was fine.” She responded, not wanting to go into details and talk to Leafy even more than she had to.

Leafy frowned, she was trying her best to be nice so why wasn’t Pin understanding that? She just wanted her friends back, she wanted Pin back.

“…Pin, come on… talk to me…” Leafy cooed, her eyes glimmering with sorrow and longing, “I’m really trying here but no one will let me. Please… let’s just talk.”

Pin didn’t say anything for a moment, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes. It made Leafy nervous, as if Pin was about to say something she really wasn’t gonna like hearing.

“Okay, look, you want the truth?” Pin sharply remarked, causing Leafy to flinch, “You’re not exactly the most popular person here anymore.”

Leafy winced, reeling from the sudden harshness in Pin’s voice.

“I’m not sure if you just haven’t noticed it yet but you need a harsh reality check. Haven’t you noticed that everyone who you talk to doesn’t want to? I saw you try to talk to Bubble, Pen, Needle, and the others. They don’t want to talk to you, Leafy; no one really likes you anymore.”

Leafy’s arms dropped as she frowned, eyebrows furrowing into themselves as her mouth opened slightly. She was hearing the words she desperately tried not to tell herself, a truth that she buried deep down inside.

No one liked her anymore. No one wanted to be her friend anymore.

“If you want my honest opinion, I think it would be for the best if you and I just go our separate ways from here on out.” She declared with the same emotionless expression on her face.

Leafy’s world felt like it was shattering right in front of her eyes. This couldn’t be happening, why was she getting this treatment? She was trying so hard and Pin actively told her to throw it away.

“But… I thought we were…” Leafy stammered, pausing as she couldn’t force herself to finish her sentence.

“Friends? Yeah, we were.” Pin stated, delivering the final blow as she intentionally dragged out the final word.

Were. They were friends. In the past, but not now. Pin didn’t want anything to do with Leafy, she wanted to ignore and push her aside as if she was a bad memory.

Leafy stood there in shock, unable to believe what Pin was saying to her. After all of that, after everything, she just wanted to throw it all away? Even if almost a decade had passed, she was still holding onto her resentment.

She wanted to get angry, to yell and tear into Pin but she couldn’t. Leafy felt sad, hurt, abandoned and lonely. She wanted someone but it seemed like no one wanted her.

Instead, she tried to keep the tears from pouring as she gave a forced chuckle, “Aha… umm, fair enough I guess… I, umm, I hope you have a good time competing though!” She exclaimed, desperate to keep her positive facade from breaking.

At that moment, Coiny spotted the pair and started to walk towards them. “Oh, hi Pin… and… Leafy.”

Leafy felt worse by the way he said the final words of his sentence. He sounded hesitant to even say her name, as if it was some kind of curse or something he had to avoid.

“H-Hey, C-Coiny! Umm, d-don’t mind me… I was just leaving anyway…” Leafy sniffled, quickly rubbing at her eye as she turned the other way.

“Umm, are you okay?” He asked, although it sounded more obligatory than anything genuine. More so that he was asking because it was expected of him rather than showing any real concern.

“Y-Yep! Totally fine! I-I gotta go say hi to the new guys anyway… I… I hope you two give it your all this season!” She exclaimed, giving off a fake smile as she waved at the pair.

“…You sure? Cause it looks like you’re crying.” Coiny suggested, pointing to Leafy’s face as she wiped away another tear.

“N-No! I just… warm weather causes my allergies to flare up, you know? L-Like I said, we veterans gotta introduce ourselves to the new contestants, right? So, I’ll see you two later!”

Leafy turned to face Pin, who still didn’t say anything and merely played with her hands as she waited for Leafy to leave.

“And, umm, Pin…? I’m… glad we caught up.” She smiled warmly, albeit only for a few seconds before she frowned and turned around and quickly walked away. 

Once they could no longer see her face, Leafy quickly wiped a few more suppressed tears from her eyes.

That hurt her badly. It was like Pin knew exactly where to target to cause Leafy the most amount of pain. It was a truth she knew, that trying to rebuild the friendships she lost was pointless if it was a one-way effort.

The past was still haunting her, keeping an iron grip on her and her ex-friends and it didn’t seem to be letting go soon.

Of course, why would they want to spend time with such a waste of space like her? It was a stupid idea and it took an idiot like her to even attempt making it worse.

It really went to show that she was merely tolerated by everyone. She knew that they would all likely prefer it if she was gone but didn’t say it out loud due to social norms or knowing that she would stay regardless.

Unbeknownst to her, Pin and Coiny shared a look with each other as she walked off.

“Did you say something to her? Leafy looked pretty upset.” Coiny questioned, looking up at his best friend.

Pin’s face dropped as she stared at the sorrowful lemon leaf leaving the pair. An unknown feeling of guilt clasped at her heart as she sighed.

“…It doesn’t matter, it’s over anyway. We should go to introduce ourselves.” She blankly replied, still looking at Leafy.

Coiny nodded as he grabbed her hand and whisked her away from the pitiful sight.

But, all of that was nothing compared to Firey. Her ex-best friend was undoubtedly the worst of them all. Considering he was the reason why any of this even happened to her.

He was the one who did this, he was the one who won Dream Island and let everyone else in but her all because he was mad over her not liking the Ferris wheel he made for her.

That would be somewhat understandable if the Ferris wheel in question didn’t have lava and would have killed her! She only took it because she was upset over such an unfair exclusion from who she thought was her best friend and the desire to enjoy the prize as well.

Of course, that didn’t matter. No one wanted to hear her side of the story. No one wanted to actually listen to her and realize that it wasn’t unreasonable for her to have bought the island.

Sure, it was impulsive and Leafy should have thought about what she was doing before acting on her emotions but what other options did she have? No one else was around, the walls around Dream Island were soundproof so no one could even hear her even if she tried to talk things out.

But, of course, the truth gets fucked up as rumors get spread and no one questions misinformation. As far as everyone else was concerned, Leafy stole the island from all of them because she was a bitch, a cunt, an asshole who was bitter over losing so she bought Dream Island to screw everyone else over.

That was the only reason she did it according to the others; because Leafy was some evil, toxic, manipulative bitch who just couldn’t handle being a loser and needed to feel like a winner no matter who got hurt.

Nuance? Emotions? A complex situation? Ha! Fuck all of that apparently! Nope, the only reason Leafy would ever do something like that wasn’t because she was unfairly screwed over by everyone and treated like shit, but because she was a bad person who wanted to cause the most harm to everyone.

And Firey, the man at the center of it all, made everything ten times worse. He was so inconsistent, from saving her life to ghosting her and pretending she didn’t even exist for ten years just because everyone else hated her so he felt like he had to as well.

What type of person does that to someone who they said is their best friend? At the very least, if she could give something to the BFDI veterans, they acknowledged her existence and what happened. It didn’t mean they liked her but they did still talk to her, albeit when they had to.

Firey never talked to her. Every single time she approached her, which was a struggle in itself considering their past, he would pretend not to hear her and quickly leave to do something else. He acted as if Leafy was some ghost.

And then, the one time he did talk to her was after saving her life yet again, which made Leafy immediately reflect on how ironic that was, and him basically saying what Pin told her.

She could still remember his words, “Don’t you get it? Everyone hates you, Leafy! And if I act like I care, they’ll hate me too!”

Those words stuck around in her head for a while and it led to her feeling… angry. Even now, she couldn’t believe that he would say that to her. That his reputation and the opinions of others were somehow more important than her as a person.

How could he stand there and claim to still care about her but still allow everyone else to treat her like shit? All for what? Not wanting to be seen as the odd one out? 

Didn’t he know that everyone hated her because of him? Firey was the reason for the enduring competition, not Leafy. But, who cares about her feelings, right? Everyone loves Firey, they always loved him.

When she occasionally saw him interacting with the old contestants, it was all smiles and sunshine. Most of them seemed pretty happy to see him return again, even asking him if they thought he would win this time again and not have another “incident.”

It was a stark contrast between what she experienced. The more they loved Firey, the more they seemed to despise her.

Even if she were to forgive Firey for his attempts to mend their relationship, Leafy anticipated that she would always likely have a small bit of resentment and hatred towards him. It wouldn’t change no matter if they became best friends again; a part of her would always remain what he did and despise him for it.

Maybe it was a little petty, seeing as Firey did seem genuine in his attempts to regain her trust and rebuild their friendship. It wouldn’t be fair to him, to keep holding onto her negative feelings associated with him even if he was actively trying to change his more toxic qualities.

But she couldn’t help it, the wounds were far too deep for her to heal fully from. Firey could apologize a million times and be the greatest friend in the entire world but it wouldn’t matter.

Leafy would be able to forgive and forget, but never completely.

“…Leafy. Leafy. LEAFY!” Gelatin shouted, snapping his fingers in front of Leafy’s face which caused her to snap back into reality.

She let out a surprised noise as she turned to him, “W-What?”

“You were spacing out for like ten minutes. I asked if you wanted to talk, you started to get upset and then just stopped talking.” He said, “I was getting worried.”

Ah, Leafy must have been too caught up in reliving the past and thinking about painful memories to remember what she was even doing.

“Oh… sorry about that… I guess I was just lost in thought…” She muttered.

“What were you thinking about?” Gelatin asked her.

“…How much I miss everyone… especially Pin.” Leafy replied, her voice going soft and distant.

It was true. Despite Pin’s harsh rejection of any attempts to salvage their past friendship, she still missed her dearly. It pained her that she never talked before the BFB split and considering that Pin was now in Two’s show and participating in TPOT, she might not see her again for another two to three years.

She missed all of her old friends, even if they didn’t miss her. Sure, Bubble, Blocky, Teardrop, Woody and Flower were here but it wasn't the same without the others. It was barely even half of the original cast, if you included Firey and Leafy themselves.

“…It’s just not fair, you know? I mean… I… I just wanted my friends back after being gone for so long and now they’ve left me again.” Leafy remarked, “And, I have to deal with the guy who screwed me over in the first place and figure out if I should even forgive him.”

A hand clutched at her head, “What should I do? Every time I think about Firey, all I can see is how much of a fucking asshole he was.” Leafy said, anger rising in her voice, “About how he abandoned me and made everyone despise me all for a fucking Ferris wheel!”

She gritted her teeth and her hands balled up into fists. A light snarl could be audibly heard as she spoke.

“Seriously, who does that? You can’t just switch back and forth between being my friend and not being my friend all because others might dislike you for it. What about me? Didn’t he ever think about how I felt about any of this? He only even felt sorry once I screamed at him for all of the bullshit he tried to pull with Donut’s diary!”

Leafy was now visibly angry, her frustration boiling over as Gelatin merely stared at her. He wanted to say something but he didn’t know if words could calm her down.

It proved to be meaningless as Leafy’s frustration subsided and she sighed. “But, then I see that he’s trying to change and be better. I see that he wants me to forgive him and he’s being all honest and open now which just makes things worse. Because he’s now not just an asshole.”

She groaned, “I know it’s not fair to just avoid talking about it, I know that we’ll have to figure this out soon but I don’t know what to say to him. I mean, I freaked out when he started to suggest the idea of what happened yesterday. Everything felt so much easier when he was just a selfish prick and I could hate him.”

Gelatin listened as Leafy continued to rant.

“But, now he’s being all… different and it’s throwing me off. He’s not just an asshole anymore but he also kinda is…? Ugh, I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore… this probably doesn’t even make sense. How can you both hate someone and not really hate them at the same time…?”

Gelatin put a hand on her and gave a reassuring look, “I get it. Well, I’m probably never actually gonna get it, but I do see what you’re saying. Honestly, as cliche as this sounds, just do what you think is right. I can’t tell you what to do because I don’t know either, there’s no real good answer I can give you; you’ll have to decide that on your own. And before you say it, you will eventually figure out if you wanna be Firey’s friend again or not, on your own time. So don’t think you have to make a choice right now, okay?”

Leafy nodded. She knew he was right, this was a choice she would have to make on her own, without anyone telling her what to do.

She just hoped she would make the right choice.

“…Thanks, Gelatin.” She said softly, causing Gelatin to blush slightly and chuckle.

“Don’t thank me for something like this.” He modestly remarked.

Leafy playfully shook her head as she opened her arms out for a hug. Gelatin immediately reciprocated the gesture and embraced Leafy, holding her in his arms.

The two friends hugged as Leafy’s chest felt slightly lighter. While it was still burdened by everything that had happened, at the very least, Leafy was now feeling a little better.

Their warm moment was suddenly cut off by the sound of someone coughing from behind them. Leafy let go of Gelatin and turned around to see Firey standing behind her.

She gasped in surprise as Firey awkwardly shuffled his feet. He looked nervous, avoiding any eye contact as he seemingly was mustering up the courage to say something.

“Umm, hey… Leafy…” He said, speaking with a hesitant tone.

Leafy and Gelatin shared a look as Gelatin slowly started to walk away.

“You know what… I should probably go… I’ll see you two later.” He remarked as he quickly walked off.

That was a fair response. Gelatin probably thought that he shouldn’t be here for the inevitable confrontation between Firey and Leafy. Although, Leafy was kinda hoping he would stick around. At least it would make things less awkward.

“Hey.” Leafy responded, gulping slightly as she wondered about what Firey was doing here.

Did he want something from her? What was he going to say? Maybe he was gonna try to talk about what happened yesterday yet again.

Leafy hated this. She really did. She hated all of this weird tension between the two of them. It felt like she couldn’t even be around Firey without the massive elephant in the room, that being their complex relationship, looming over their interactions.

Even now, there were still very clear issues that existed between them that neither party openly discussed. Even if they were to talk about it, what would they even say? Talk about Firey kicking Leafy out of Dream Island and her subsequent thief of it? 

Firey saving her life from everyone and then ignoring her for a decade for the sake of his reputation?

Maybe they would bring up the fact that Firey stole Donut’s diary just for the petty sake of wanting Leafy to “feel what he felt when she took his island,” which then caused Leafy to snap at him and have an entire mental breakdown.

Or maybe the whole “Leafy lost all of her friends and kinda hates her life and herself because of him.”

Wow. Leafy was now starting to see how many issues actually did exist between them. And it only meant that things were gonna take a lot longer to fix every single one of them, if she even wanted to.

The two stood there in a moment of silence before Firey finally spoke up again.

“I, uhh, I wanna show you something.” 

Leafy gave him a confused look, raising an eyebrow.

“What is it?” She asked him.

“Umm, it’s a secret but I just… I really wanna show you it. I promise it’s not far from here.” Firey pleaded.

Leafy was slightly skeptical. While she knew that Firey likely didn’t have any ulterior motives or bad intentions for her, she still wasn’t too convinced to go.

But, yet again, what was the worst thing that could happen? Leafy had to, at the very least, hear him out and see what he wanted to show her. It might make up for her awkward exit from his room.

She sighed, “…Alright, let’s go.”

Chapter Text

Firey signaled for Leafy to follow after him, which she did. She remained a few inches besides him as she watched him nervously fiddle with his hands.

Unbeknownst to her, he was trying to calm down his racing thoughts as he breathed in and out. He told himself that it was nothing to get worked up and he shouldn’t freak out about any of this.

It was just him and Leafy. Alone. With no one else around them. That wasn’t inherently strange, right? Well, then again, that was under the assumption that they had a normal and healthy relationship.

Firey questioned if he should look to the side of him and take a quick glance. No, that would be creepy. He just had to look forward and stay focused and overall, not make this seem weird.

As he repeated this sentiment in his head until it was practically drilled into his skull, a smell suddenly filled his nostrils. He immediately recognized it as Leafy which instantly spurred on a bunch of thoughts.

“Leafy smells nice. Did she always smell like this or was this something new? I kinda wanna get closer to her.”

Firey realized what he was saying and shook his head, as if trying to get the thoughts out of his mind. He needed to stop thinking like this and just act normal for five minutes.

Gosh, what was wrong with him? Was he really smelling Leafy? No normal person does something like this! Why couldn’t he just act like a normal object around her for just a few minutes.

This was such a strange feeling for the flame, to be able to pinpoint exact details like Leafy’s scent. It made him feel weird to acknowledge that he was now starting to notice Leafy a way he hadn’t before.

He never thought about Leafy like this before, even in their past, nothing beyond their friendship ever crossed his mind besides jokes. But now, it felt like all he could think about was Leafy.

Firey was stuck with the curse of now being acutely aware of everything that Leafy was doing. How she looked, how she walked, even down to her speech patterns. It wasn’t on purpose by any means but something that he was now paying more attention to.

Especially her voice, which was something she said she never really liked. Leafy, I’m the past, often told him that she worried that her voice sounded “too masculine” for a girl.

Sure, Leafy never sounded like the most feminine person in the room, even now, but Firey never minded it. He actually liked her voice, more her more unique in his eyes. Besides, for the longest time, he thought Golf Ball was a guy, considering her extremely raspy and gravelly voice.

She had a cute and pleasing sounding voice.

Firey could feel her hand brushing up against his, sending sparks of electricity down his spine which he tried to quell. It felt like a tease, something he wanted to have but had to deny himself of. But, this wasn’t anything to get worked up about, she was just close to him, nothing more.

This situation wasn’t inherently strange, he was making it strange with all of these thoughts and feelings. Or maybe these thoughts were normal and he thought of them as weird? Was that weird?

His thoughts were cut off by the sensation of Leafy’s hand rubbing up against his slightly which caused him to clench up a bit.

He wanted to hold her hand or maybe that would be even more strange. They weren’t friends, far from it, at least not yet and what would even happen if he tried? Leafy would surely think less of him and that was not the time to get her to like him.

In terms of their friendship, of course, nothing else.

Firey took a glance at her from the corner of his eye and her gaze met his, only for him to turn around in embarrassment as his flames grew a little hotter. Leafy had really nice eyes, had he not noticed that before?

In fact, Leafy herself was very pretty, both objectively and to Firey personally. How had no one seen that about her before? She was undeniably beautiful and very attractive.

“She’s so close to me. Oh my oxygen…” He said to himself as the smell only grew even more intoxicating, like he was being drowned in a sea of her fragrance.

Firey wanted nothing more than to pull Leafy into him, to feel her body against his and get even more of that delightful scent. If only he wasn’t made of literal fire that would kill upon any contact that wasn’t their limbs.

Still, he imagined how nice it would be to be able to hold Leafy with no problems or fear of accidental death.

“No! Stop that!” Firey told himself as he blinked rapidly. This is what he meant like being weird and hyper-aware of Leafy. No normal person would have thoughts like this.

Regardless, none of it helped as more thoughts filled his mind. Firey couldn’t help himself from it, he was far too sensitive to Leafy now.

Leafy, on the other hand, could see that Firey was nervous. She was always relatively good at being able to read his emotions. Or perhaps Firey was as open as a book. Regardless, he was feeling anxious about being around her.

For what reason? She wasn’t sure. Maybe he was thinking about if she would like what he had planned for her. Or maybe he was feeling embarrassed due to his very obvious feelings for her.

“Hey, Firey, you, umm, you feeling okay?” Leafy hesitantly asked, wanting to make some conversation so this entire walk didn’t feel awkward and uncomfortable.

“Hmm? What?” He stammered, snapping his head around to look at her which immediately made him feel embarrassed, “Oh, uh, don’t worry about me… I’m fine.”

He wanted to say something more but what could he say? His eyes were still focused on how close their hands were to each other. Just a little closer and he would…

Leafy felt something touch against her hand. She glanced downwards to see Firey inching his hand towards hers. His eyes continued to look forward as he desperately tried to have any sort of physical contact with her.

She thought about saying something but she didn’t want to embarrass Firey. It wasn’t like he was necessarily doing anything wrong, he was just being a little shy. Figures, seeing as he had a crush on her.

Leafy decided to indulge him this one time and suddenly grabbed his hand, causing a startled yelp to come out of his mouth as Leafy pretended not to notice. She could see him looking down at them holding hands, eyes widened as his face flushed.

He looked over ahead but she could see the beginnings of a small smile starting to form on his face. Leafy wasn’t going to bring it up or tease him about it; simply knowing the truth was good enough.

It still made her feel slightly strange to acknowledge that someone, that Firey out of all people, had feelings for her like that. If she could be honest, never once in her life did she ever think she’d get someone’s attention like that but yet here she was.

Maybe it was low expectations or maybe it had to do with the fact that most people she knew absolutely despised her existence but to imagine that someone liked her… as in, they liked her was weird in of itself.

So having that person being Firey just made it seem like the universe was trying to tell her something or maybe play some practical joke.

Leafy wished she could read Firey’s thoughts and know what exactly he even saw in her. Ignoring everything that happened between them as a factor, she didn’t see herself as someone to be desired.

More so someone who you look at in disgust, or annoyance, or pure and unbridled hatred. Not someone who you look at and want to date.

That made her wonder, did Firey ever think like that? Did he sometimes have thoughts about being her boyfriend? To think, someone like Firey as her first boyfriend would… certainly be something.

Regardless, it didn’t make sense to her. What was appealing about her? She had a weird voice, even as a kid back in BFDI, she never liked the way she sounded.

She wasn’t attractive by any means. Leafy could easily list twenty other female contestants that you could easily fawn over compared to her.

And who would want to stick around with the person that everyone else just collectively agreed to despise? Why spend time with a person who was never truly happy with anything or their own life?

Something like this was impossible. It made no sense to Leafy.

Meanwhile, Firey was having an internal meltdown, his mind filling with questions about what such a simple gesture could mean. It made him feel excited, nervous and like he was about to pass out.

“Oh my oxygen, she’s holding my hand. Leafy’s holding my hand. Her hands are so soft. Does this mean anything? Am I looking too deep into this? Why is she holding my hand? Ah!” He thought to himself, unable to stop his thoughts.

Did this mean that she was starting to become more open with him? It had to mean something, right? Was she doing this just to see his reaction? Was it really worth it to see Firey panic over something as small as hand-holding?

He couldn’t stop looking at her. Leafy was adorable. Gosh, he was thankful she didn’t comment on his undeniable flustered face or else Firey’s urge to die would only grow.

Firey wanted to relax, to not show how much such a nothing gesture was affecting him. They were just holding hands, nothing more. This wasn’t anything to lose his mind over. Why was he acting like Leafy just kissed him or something?

Although, that idea wouldn’t be all that unwanted.

Still, this was getting him excited. Her hand seemed to fit so perfectly into his, as if it were a perfect match. Maybe in some alternative universe where they had a better relationship, they would have been a perfect match.

If everything with Dream Island, with BFDIA, with IDFB and BFB was just a little bit different, they probably would be able to be best friends again, or maybe even something more.

If parallel universes did exist and there was a version of him who didn’t fuck up and contribute to their friendship degrading to what it was now, Firey would probably be ungodly jealous of that version.

That version of him would have not only managed to remain to be Leafy’s best friend even after a decade and spare her from so much unnecessary pain and trauma but also would have managed to capture her heart.

At least that version of him would be able to hold Leafy’s hand without questioning himself about it and if it means anything or if he’s gotten a step closer to regaining her trust. Because it would be natural and a normal occurrence.

He wondered that, if they did exist, would that version of Firey be having this same moment? Perhaps not in the same circumstances that they were having it but walking with Leafy while holding her hand and thinking, “Thank goodness there isn’t a world where I abandoned my girlfriend and made her lowkey hate me.”

Hopefully, Firey could become that version of himself, just under different circumstances.

It really wasn’t fair. Firey liked Leafy a lot more than he was expecting and she was right there, standing a few inches besides him while holding his hand but it still felt like she was miles away.

She was right next to him but he couldn’t do anything about it. All Firey had was thoughts about being affectionate even if their current relationship and the inherent danger he was putting her in was less than ideal factors.

“Hey, Firey…” Leafy suddenly spoke, trailing off as she looked at him. Or, to be more accurate, looked right above his head.

“Hmm? Uhhh, what’s up?” He questioned, trying his best to not stutter and look like an idiot.

“…You’re smoking.” She said as she gestured to the top of his head, with hints of smoke starting to come out from his flames which made him freak out.

“Ah! Shit…” Firey mumbled as he swatted the smoke away, feeling embarrassed that Leafy caught onto that. His body only produced smoke like that when he was getting overheated, more so than usual.

It typically only occurred when he was really embarrassed. Meaning even if he didn’t say anything out loud, his body was showing how much of an effect Leafy was having on him. She practically had him wrapped around her finger whether she knew it or not.

“Aww, come on, why now?” Firey asked himself as he continued to try to brush away the smoke, “Not in front of her…”

Why did his body have to react like this? It was like his mind was setting himself up for embarrassment. Out of all of the times for his flames to start smoking, it had to be in front of the one person who he didn’t want to have this sort of reaction in front of. Firey wanted to impress Leafy and this certainly wasn’t doing it.

Leafy stared up at him as he desperately tried to wipe away the smoke from his head. It reminded her of when she saw the same thing happen to him, but it was when they were much younger and much closer.

It was a rare occurrence, seeing as Firey never got all that embarrassed or when he did, it was never enough to really increase his natural high body temperature, seeing as he was a flame. It was a little sweet to think that something as innocent as simple hand holding was enough to make Firey feel so self conscious.

After a few moments, Firey eventually gave up on trying and resigned the top of his head to produce more smoke as his cheeks burned. This was so embarrassing, why did this have to happen in front of Leafy out of all people? And why from hand holding? Ugh, couldn’t his brain be normal?

“…Sorry about that.” Firey muttered, looking away to avoid any eye contact.

“It’s fine.” Leafy replied, “Plus, that’s not what I wanted to talk about anyway. Although, it was kinda funny to see you freak out.”

Firey let out a soft whine as he picked up his pace slightly, “…Shut up. What did you want to talk about?”

Leafy sighed softly, “…Do you miss everyone? From all of the back in BFDI? Do you… sometimes wish we were back there? Just the twenty of us?”

Firey raised an eyebrow as Leafy continued, “I mean, this isn’t to say that I don’t like that there’s so many new people, even if most of them went to join Two’s show, but I guess… sometimes I miss how easier everything was during season one, how everyone was like back then and I even miss Announcer too.”

She continued, “Sure, I guess it’s cool that you, me, Blocky, Bubble, Flower, Spongy and TD are still here but… it just feels weird how much we’ve all grown up and changed. Kinda wish we didn’t.”

Leafy wondered if this was an immature thing to say. She knew that they all had to change and develop as they got older. No one could remain stuck in the past forever and everyone would naturally change as life moved on.

Despite this knowledge, Leafy still longed for the days of BFDI. If she could be honest, it was probably because back then, she still had her friends, people actually liked talking to her. She didn’t feel the way she did now and everything back then just seemed so much easier.

Maybe she was idolizing the past, her memory was a little foggy about everything that happened considering it was over a decade ago but anything was better than… everything that was going on now.

Firey was silent, he didn’t say anything for a good few minutes as they walked. Leafy wondered if he was lost in thought or maybe her question had struck a nerve. She had never seen Firey so quiet before.

“…Nah, not really.” He eventually replied, catching Leafy off guard with his casual admission.

“Huh? Why not?” Leafy questioned, tilting her head to get a better look at Firey’s expression.

“Umm, because I fucking sucked back then?” Firey stated, giving her a “you know,” sort of look.

“…You still kinda suck now…” Leafy muttered, unable to fight against the underlying resentment she still held for the flame.

Her face changed as Firey seemingly heard her and he looked at her with a mix of hurt and disappointment, making Leafy immediately feel guilty. She could feel his grip on her hand loosen slightly, it wasn’t by a lot but it was noticeable enough.

Ugh, why did she say that? That was a petty and immature move on her part. Even if she felt like this, she shouldn’t have said it out loud and tried to hide it by muttering underneath her breath.

Leafy had to remember that her words did mean something to Firey. He clearly was very fond of her now and anything she said could really hurt his feelings. Sure, he may have hurt her… a lot throughout the years but two wrongs don’t make a right.

Being rude to Firey, even if it felt good in the moment, didn’t make Leafy a better person than he was. If anything, it made her worse since he was at least trying to be better.

For all of his faults, Firey, at the very least, deserved basic respect and kindness.

“…Firey, I’m so-!” Leafy began to say before Firey quickly cut her off.

“I-I was talking more about how I spent almost every waking moment arguing with Coiny over some dumb stuff. Seriously, my face still stings a little whenever I remember all of those slapping contests we got into.” Firey said, pointing to his cheek.

Avoidance. Firey was avoiding hearing what she wanted to say. Guess she wasn’t the only one of them who didn’t want to bring up the massive elephant in the room.

But, that was really no way to fix things between them, now was it? If they couldn’t talk about it, then what was even the point of being here? Why did bringing up the past have to sour the mood so much?

Regardless, she was the same as Firey, not wanting to deal with their past, at least not right now.

“Yeah, I remember that. Why did you guys fight so much anyway?” She questioned.

“To be honest? I don’t even remember. Maybe he said something and I got pissed but I genuinely do not know why we argue so much.” Firey admitted.

“Well, you guys are friends now, right? So, it all worked out in the end.” Leafy said.

“I guess? Wouldn’t really say that we’re friends though, more like frenemies than anything else. Like, I don’t hate Coiny as much anymore but I wouldn’t consider him my best friend.” Firey declared.

Even if Firey wouldn’t say it out loud, talking about Coiny reminded of what Leafy said, or more like, yelled at him during their confrontation yesterday.

“Why are we fighting!?”

He didn’t know, Firey couldn’t give a single answer to that question. Why were they fighting for so long? Over what happened to Dream Island? It seemed so pitiful and immature now.

Just like with Coiny, he didn’t have a good reason for continuing the conflict with Leafy for all of these years. The only difference was that he could at least talk to Coiny without feeling guilty.

If he could be honest, Leafy scared him yesterday, badly. To hear her shouting at him and tearing into him was genuinely terrifying. Firey didn’t think he had ever felt so awful about… everything ever before.

Even now, he was a little scared of accidentally triggering her and getting into another confrontation like that. He would never tell Leafy but she made him feel the worst he’s ever felt about himself throughout his entire life.

It’s not as if he necessarily blamed her for what she said. It was understandable and perhaps even inevitable that she would have lost it at him. To go through what she did and then be told that it was all her fault, it was likely that she was always going to have a breakdown because of him.

Firey couldn’t even imagine if the roles been reversed and he was the one who went through what Leafy did and he found out that she stole Donut’s diary, openly lied to everyone about him doing it and then said that she only did it because he needed to learn a lesson about all of the “pain” she went through because of his, now looking at it, relatively understandable choice to guy Dream Island ten years ago.

All Firey could say is that if that happened, he would also have a few choice words to say to Leafy. He would have lost his mind, yelling and shouting at Leafy for how much of an unlikable, unbelievably arrogant, immature cunt she was for expecting an apology from him because she was still mad over something that she would have realistically gotten over or at the very least, cope with the lost of her prize in a better way than treating him like shit.

That’s probably what Leafy thought yesterday, wasn’t it? She was probably standing there, listening to Firey give off bullshit excuses for why it’s all her fault and asking herself, “How the hell can he say this?”

Firey didn’t really like thinking about this because it made him realize just what a garbage move that was for him to make. Crazy to think how much his mindset has changed in the past twenty four hours.

To think he came out there with the expectation of getting an apology for essentially nothing and instead got treated to ten minutes of Leafy having a meltdown because of him was certainly something.

Although, he guessed that if it hadn’t happened, if he never stole Donut’s diary and tried to pin it all on Leafy, she would have never lost it at him and they wouldn’t be in this situation.

Sure, they didn’t have the greatest friendship in the world and things were still hard but it was an improvement from Firey refusing to acknowledge her existence and screwing her over.

Firey would have still hated Leafy, would still be ignoring her and she would continue to feel awful about herself without ever telling anyone.

In a weird, sort of twisted way, Firey being an asshole actually ended up benefiting them slightly. Not to say that he thought he did a good thing but it did lead to a chain reaction of events that led them both to this moment.

After all, that confrontation was the only reason he was currently holding his crush’s hand. Yet, it was also the reason he even discovered he had feelings for Leafy. So weird to think about the fact that he liked Leafy and he liked her a lot. More than he wanted to admit or say out loud.

Although, he supposed that it didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. She undoubtedly knew about his affection, even if he hadn’t told her that he loves her, the way he acted around her said all of the words he couldn’t verbalize.

Firey looked down at her from the corner of his eye, wondering what she was thinking. He wished that he could read her thoughts, see what she was thinking about. It might have made things easier if he knew what was going on through that head of her.

What she thought about him would be one of the first things he would want to know. All he could tell is that she had mixed feelings about him, which was pretty obvious and would be on the same line of saying that the sun is hot or winter is cold.

Firey could see that she was okay with holding hands and yet still wasn’t entirely comfortable with him. It pained him that she couldn’t completely relax in his presence but it was understandable.

Leafy’s body was relatively tense, as if she was on alert for something to potentially happen. It hurt him, remembering how at ease she used to be when she was around him. Maybe she was just as scared of him as he was of her. It wouldn’t be that much of a jump, perhaps she was thinking that at any moment, he would go back to his old behavior and leave her behind if it benefited him.

Firey wanted to break down those walls and have Leafy not to have to feel like he might change on a dime if he could get something out of it. He wanted to think to herself, “Oh, this is Firey, he isn’t gonna do anything. I’m safe,” rather than something on the lines of, “Oh, god, this is Firey. What should I do? Is he gonna do X, Y or Z?”

But, the only way for that to happen was consistent progress and change. As much as Firey could say “I’m sorry,” and “things will be different this time,” it ultimately meant nothing. All of those words were useless if there was nothing to back them up.

All of her potential fear stemmed from one factor and one factor only; she didn’t trust him. Of course, that was stating the obvious but it didn’t change its accuracy. Leafy didn’t trust Firey to make good on his promise. She didn’t trust him enough to believe that he was trying and not just saying that to placate her feelings.

A given, considering that trust was really easy to break. All it took was one bad decision and someone could lose all faith in you. Ironic that it took so much time and effort to rebuild that trust. It was like a vase, something that only takes one push to shatter but a lot more time to rebuild.

“Umm, hey, Firey? How much longer until we’re there?” Leafy suddenly asked, snapping Firey out of his thoughts.

“Hm-! What? Oh, umm, shouldn’t be much further.” Firey replied, shaking his head as he collected his thoughts.

He hoped that Leafy would like the gift he had in mind for her. It took him a little while to set everything up and he wanted it to go perfectly.

Maybe he just wanted to impress Leafy. No, that definitely was the underlying reason for this. Although, could you really blame him? Why wouldn’t he want to impress her?

“Alright…” Leafy nodded in agreement as they continued their path.

She looked at him and wondered if she should say anything else. They couldn’t exactly just walk together in pure silence until they got to where they wanted to go, right?

But, what could they even talk about? Chatting about meaningless topics didn’t help them get better. Leafy would have to say something about what they both needed to talk about eventually.

One potential topic could be their confrontation yesterday. Admittedly, that had been eating away at Leafy’s mind for a while.

She wasn’t too sure if she regretted all of what she said. She had never gotten so angry, hurt, sad and emotional in one moment. It felt a little strange to reflect on her shouting at Firey.

Some of it was petty, she had to admit. Leafy didn’t need to insult Firey and tell him to go fuck himself… multiple times. But, she wasn’t thinking straight at the time. Everything was red and blurry when it happened.

Other parts of it she thought held up, even now. Leafy never really thought Firey cared about her and her feelings, seeing how he acted. He did at one point though, she wouldn’t lie about that but those feelings had gotten smaller and smaller as the years passed by.

The thing she thought about the most though was… how good it felt. She didn’t like that truth but it’s what she felt. Leafy felt better after confronting Firey. It felt liberating to finally get all of the words she wanted to say out loud.

Did that make her a bad person? Well, a worse person than she already believed herself to be. Did this mean that Leafy took pleasure in making Firey upset?

No, of course not. Leafy didn’t like making Firey feel guilty or anything. If she did, then she would be constantly bringing up how he failed her as a friend just to see his reaction. Deep down, she knew that it wouldn’t make her feel better if he was upset.

Still, she wondered if she should apologize for it. Did she have to say sorry? That was the reason she even got so angry at Firey in the first place; because he demanded an apology for her suffering that he caused.

Ah, but Leafy still felt slightly guilty for what she said. The parts about how awful and terrible he’s always been as a person. It’s not that Firey was all that bad overall, seeing him now but he was… a lot of different things.

He wasn’t good nor was he bad. Firey was well… he was Firey and that came with a lot of different descriptors for what that meant. It didn’t mean he was a saint who did absolutely nothing wrong but it also didn’t mean he was the worst person she knew who’s entire existence was a stain against the world.

Firey was a guy… who existed… who she felt a lot of different feelings for that always seemed to contradict each other. Perhaps she would figure out what it meant for Firey to be Firey.

What was at the core of his character? Something good? Something bad? A mix of both? Funny how it’s been years and yet Leafy still didn’t know who Firey really was.

“Hey, Leafster, think we’re getting closer.” Firey suddenly said, snapping Leafy out of her thoughts.

“Oh? Really?” She asked him while blinking rapidly.

“Yep, should be about here-!” Firey said, not paying attention until his foot reached over the edge of a hill and he tumbled down, letting go of Leafy as he fell.

She watched in surprise as he rolled down on the floor, grunting and letting out small “ouches,” as he did before he crashed into a bush covered in berries.

“Firey!” Leafy yelled out as her eyes widened. She carefully steaded herself as she walked down the hill and headed her way towards where Firey was.

Being made of fire, the bush naturally started to burn down until there was nothing but smoke and ash left as Firey remained on the ground, looking dazed.

“Ow… fuck, that hurt…” He groaned as he tried to recollect his vision.

“Gosh, Firey, are you okay?” Leafy asked, eyes full of concern. She held out her hand for him to help him up.

Firey took up and slowly got back up, still trying to keep a steady mind. Both of their eyes met on their connected hands and Firey blushed slightly.

“Leafy’s holding my hand again! Does that mean she likes it? No, she’s just helping me up. This isn’t the time to think about this!” Firey mentally spoke as he tried to get those thoughts out of his mind.

It still felt nice to know that despite everything, she did genuinely care about him. Maybe it was just the urge for her to check in on someone after they got hurt but Firey liked the interpretation of it meaning she held some sort of connection with him.

She was worried about him, that was sweet.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine… just a little clumsy, that’s all.” Firey awkwardly chuckled as he avoided looking directly into her eyes.

“Well, be a little more careful next time. I don’t want to see you get hurt, you know?” She remarked, squeezing his hand ever so slightly.

His heart soared as the blush grew. She did care about him! Sure, this could just be because of her caring nature but Firey felt pretty happy with her words regardless.

“W-Well, umm, don’t worry about m-me, Leafy, I’m fine… I-I just, umm, I-I…” He stammered, his body growing warmer as Leafy looked up at his head.

“Firey, you’re smoking again.” She pointed out, gesturing to the smoke coming out of his flames at the top of his head which started to turn into the shape of a heart.

“Gah-!” Firey yelled out in surprise as he quickly brushed the smoke again, feeling vulnerable and embarrassed.

He mentally cursed himself and his body for reacting like this. Goddamn, did this always have to happen at the worst possible time imaginable? It was like his body was doing this just to mess with him on purpose.

Once he was done, he looked over at Leafy and gave an awkward look, “Ignore that… that never happened.” He stiffly requested, a massive blush still spreading across his face.

“It’s cute, Firey, don’t worry about it.” Leafy responded, giving him a cute look which seemed to make him want to melt at the spot.

Although, all of Leafy’s looks were cute since she was a cute girl herself. And speaking of cute, she just called him cute! That was a win, right? Or did it not count because she thought of his actions as cute rather than him as a person.

Actually, who cares? He just got called cute by Leafy, that was undoubtedly a win. Of course, he could only mentally celebrate this perceived victory as he muttered out his response.

“Shut up…” He mumbled as he looked around at where they were now at. Bushes and trees surrounded them as Firey spun around, unable to find where he originally fell from.

No, this couldn’t be happening! The surprise he had planned for her was gonna be ruined if he didn’t get there on time. He had to find a way back to the path they were on.

“Fuck, we must have gotten really off track, huh?” Firey remarked, still looking around.

“I’m sure we can find it. Come on.” Leafy suggested as she grabbed his hand again and started to walk with him, not noticing the small signs of smoke coming from Firey’s head.

As they walked, Leafy’s eyes were drawn to the bushes around them, just like the one that Firey fell in and accidentally burned. Something was oddly familiar about them. Purple berries… where has she seen this before?

She narrowed her eyes on them, almost completely distracting her from the world around her. Why did she feel like she’d seen them before? What was this weird sense of deja vu?

“Purple berries… purple berries…” Leafy muttered to herself. You know, now that she was really thinking about it, they looked really similar to…

“Yoyleberries.” She said, gasping a little as her eyes widened.

She hadn’t seen one of them in years. Not ever since what happened to her back in Yoyleland all of those years ago. Memories of those times started to fill her head as she let go of Firey’s hand and started to walk towards a bush.

“Huh? Leafy?” Firey questioned, turning to the lemon leaf as she continued her way to the bush. She crouched down near it and plucked a berry in her hand, observing it in her hands.

Her breathing grew heavy as her body tensed up. Yoyleberries. Yoyleland. Those years. Alone, isolated, nobody cared about where she was, everyone liked it more when she was gone.

Leafy gritted her teeth as she stared at the berry. Such a small item was such a large trigger for those painful memories. Was this normal? Should such a tiny thing thay she could hold in her hand make her so upset.

“Leafy!” Firey called out, walking up to her, “What are you doing?”

She whipped her head around to face him, her fingers starting to crush the small berry in her hand. Leafy pondered if she should tell him why exactly she hated these things so much.

So many painful memories. So many nights alone. It was a bitter irony, really; the very things that kept her alive on those cold and long nights were also the things that she despised.

“What are you holding?” He questioned, squinting his eyes as he looked at the Yoyleberry.

Firey was extremely out of the loop here, not sure what was going on with Leafy. He was a little hesitant on speaking to her, not wanting to accidentally trigger some strong emotions.

Regardless of this, he still cared about her so it was natural for him to worry when he saw her so visibly upset.

“…Sorry, I just… It looks like we’re in a Yoyleberry patch.” Leafy remarked, gesturing to the area around them.

“Yoyleberry?” Firey questioned, giving her a confused look, “Isn’t that like the berry that turns you metal if you eat it?”

“Yeah… it is…” She blankly replied, going back on focusing on the item in her hand.

More memories flashed by. Leafy could vaguely remember the taste of Yoyleberries. Sweet at first but had a strong bitter aftertaste. Something about that description seemed ironic and fitting to her.

Turning into metal was… an experience. Something she’d rather not remember. Not to say the experience itself was painful, since it turned you into yoyle metal rather instantly but it was more of what it represented to Leafy.

Metal Leafy.

Perhaps that’s why she hated these berries so much. Simply by themselves, they were harmless. But to her, they represented suffering, pain, isolation that consumed her core.

“…Leafy? Umm, are you okay? You look kinda mad?” Firey pointed out, looking slightly afraid of her.

He silently hoped that she wasn’t mad or that she would simply not take it out on him. Maybe it was simply the jarring feeling of her being sweet to her, to looking like she was ready to kill someone but he prayed that she would calm down.

Leafy didn’t reply for a moment, simply staring at the berry before turning back to Firey, “Sorry… I just really fucking hate these things.”

With that concluding sentence, she crushed the Yoyleberry in her hand, getting purple juices all over her fingers as she tossed the rest away.

Firey noticeably winced from her actions as she stood up. Her eyes were still glued to the berry as she started to remember one of the many days she spent in Yoyleland, even if it was the last thing she wanted to do.

Cold. Leafy was cold as she clutched her knees and sighed. The weather was beginning to pick up as she stared around at her surroundings.

She wasn’t too sure as to why she did it. There was nothing new here. Just the same bushes with the same stupid berries.

Perhaps she was still holding out hope that one of these days, someone was gonna come back to her. That Pin, Coiny, Pen, Bubble or hell, even someone like Flower, would send some sort of rescue mission to save her from this seemingly never ending hell.

Leafy was desperate enough to escape that she would happily run up and hug Flower if she came here. She was starving for any sort of connection at this point that any other person, no matter who they were, would be a practical blessing in her eyes.

It had been… Leafy couldn’t even remember. It had been so long since she bought Dream Island and made herself public enemy number one and had to come here in order to avoid being killed permanently by her friends that she couldn’t remember if it had been weeks, months or years.

Her eyes glanced down to the pile of Yoyleberries at her feet that she collected. She always hated these things, they never tasted good the entire way through.

Sweet at the beginning but bitter and rotten at the end.

But, they were also the only thing keeping her alive. Their only setback was that she was currently made out of metal. Her body felt extremely heavy, to the point where it felt exhausting to even take a small walk.

Of course, she couldn’t just stop eating them, for there was nothing else to eat. The berries seemed like taunts, telling that even if she didn’t want to, she’d have to eat them if she wanted to stay alive.

Where were her friends? They couldn’t possibly still be angry at her, right? It may have been a dumb move on her part but they couldn’t just leave her out here.

She wanted someone. No, Leafy needed another person, another object to talk to. It never dawned on her how awful being alone truly was. Having absolutely no one around at all times was hard to deal with.

She missed hearing people’s voices, hearing her friends chat about whatever they wanted to. If she could be honest, the pure silence around her was way louder than anything she had heard before.

The only company she had out here was herself and even that wasn’t good. All Leafy could think about was if she deserved this, if this was some sort of punishment for her actions, for taking Dream Island from everyone.

That wasn’t fair! She only did it because Firey wouldn’t let her inside even though he said they were best friends! And all for a stupid Ferris wheel! What did everyone want from her? An apology?

At this point, she would happily apologize for everything if that’s what it took. If they wanted to see her go down on her knees and beg for a second chance, she would do it. Just anything to get away from this place.

She thought about leaving, multiple times in fact but not only would walking all of the way back to Goiky take forever, especially considering her now metal body that made walking a pain but there was something else holding her back.

Fear. Leafy was scared of what would happen if she came back. What if everyone didn’t want her back? What if they just tried to kill her again? It would prove her worst nightmare, something she had suppressed every single night.

No one was coming back for her. The thought hurt her too much to even entertain, so she simply ignored it and all of her thoughts telling her that it was the truth.

Stuff like, “This is all your fault. You stole their prize from them. Why would anyone want you back?” or “You can’t be this stupid. No one is coming back to save you. You’re alone, Leafy.”

That was just… her brain being a little weird, that’s all. Strange that she never seemed to think so low of herself until being stuck here with nothing but her thoughts.

Her friends were gonna come back for her one day. She wasn’t lying to herself when she said this, right? It was the truth. Someone would have to come to Yoyleland eventually. There was just no way they could leave her out here.

She dealt with all of this by imagining herself in better times, with her friends and anywhere that wasn’t here. After all, what else did she have going for her? Nothing.

Leafy’s usual self-deprecating thoughts were cut off by the sound of a twig snapping. Her eyes shot open as she scanned around the area.

Huh? Did she really hear that? That was unusual, especially considering there was no wildlife around these parts. The only noises that should be made would have to have been from Leafy herself.

And then, she heard it.

“Ah, man, do you think we’ve gotten enough Yoyle Berries yet?” A familiar voice questioned.

A voice. Someone was speaking. Someone was here. Leafy wasn’t imagining this, was she? Was someone actually here?

“I think a few more should do it, Pin.” A second voice replied to the first.

Leafy froze. Pin. She was here? That’s why the voice sounded so familiar! Someone was really here! She couldn’t believe it.

Her face broke out into a smile as she started to cry tears of joy. Holy tree, someone was actually here! She wasn’t alone anymore. One of her friends was here and they came to rescue her, to get her out of here.

Finally, her days in Yoyleland were over. She could leave this hell and go to a better place. Leafy stood up and tried to run over to the voices only to fall down immediately.

Right, she was still metal and her legs had likely fallen asleep due to lack of circulation outside of going to pick berries. Regardless, she didn’t let this stop her as she forced herself to crawl to where the pair were.

It was relatively challenging as her body was extremely heavy, a stark difference that she was now realizing considering how light her body usually was, seeing as she was a lemon leaf.

Her mind filled with thoughts of what would happen once she got out of here. This meant that her friends forgave her, didn’t it? That they could all finally look past this little incident and move on with their lives.

Leafy kept crawling as the two continued to talk, until she found where they were and poked her head out from a bush. She was still on the ground as she looked up at the pair, seeing Pin and Coiny, holding a pair of baskets in their hands as they plucked berries.

“Guys…!” Leafy attempted to shout out, only to hear her own voice sounding hoarse and dry. It was barely audible or even sounded like her.

Shoot, of course this would happen. Leafy hadn’t spoken a word since she had gotten here. Everything she said was typical in her head so it made sense that she could barely speak; she hadn’t felt a need to speak for a long time.

After all, who was she going to talk to? Herself? The berries? Her mind wouldn’t shut up about how everything was her fault and how utterly worthless she truly was?

She couldn’t let this stop her though. Leafy wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass by her, since it might never happen again.

This was a way out.

Leafy kept crawling forward as Coiny and Pin continued to speak to each other, neither of the two noticing her.

“Hey, Coiny? Do you think that our team is gonna win BFDIA?” Pin asked, turning to her partner in crime as he plucked more berries.

Coiny stopped picking berries and turned to face her, “Well, yeah, of course we are! This season is gonna turn out better than the last one, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah…” Pin glumly remarked as she went back to her task.

Leafy raised an eyebrow as she stared at the two. BFDIA? What was that? And did Coiny mention another season? Another season after BFDI called BFDIA?

If BFDI stood for Battle For Dream Island, then BFDIA, a supposed second season, would be called Battle For Dream Island… another? No, that didn’t make sense.

Battle For Dream Island Again. Maybe Leafy was wrong but it was the only acronym that made sense.

But, if that was true and Leafy was right, then it would mean that another season was going on without her knowledge, and Coiny and Pin were participating in it.

At this moment, she should have done something to get their attention but she didn’t. All Leafy did was stop, watch and listen in.

She noticed that Pin looked… upset? No, it was more that she looked uncomfortable being here, she wasn’t really fully engaged in her surroundings. Something else was eating at her as she absentmindedly picked berries.

Coiny must have picked up on it as well as he nudged Pin with his elbow, snapping her out of her daze.

“Pin, you good?” He asked her, giving her a concerned look.

Pin looked away from him as she sighed and brushed his hand off, “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Coiny persisted, “Pin, come on, I know you and I can tell when something’s on your mind. We’re friends, aren’t we? You can tell me anything.”

She looked at him for a few seconds, seemingly deciding if she should tell him or not before eventually sighing.

“I guess I’m just a little nervous. I mean, Leafy’s supposed to be here, right? Isn’t this where she ran away to?”

Pin…. remembered her? She remembered her! That was a good sign, wasn’t it? Maybe she was planning to come back for her after the season was over.

“Oh, yeah… Leafy. Kinda forgot she’s out here somewhere. You worried she’s nearby or something?” Coiny questioned.

Here it was, the moment where Pin would say something along the lines of, “Yeah, I feel bad that we chased her down and made her hide away on this tiny island with no one to talk to. We should go find her and bring her back with us.”

That was the response that Leafy was expecting to hear. That her friend would say that she missed her and wanted her back. It was the response that would make Leafy happy.

But, life never really gives you what you want. Perhaps that’s why instead of the response that Leafy wanted to hear, she heard these words coming out of Pin’s mouth.

“Yeah… I just don’t wanna run into her. I don’t really wanna see her and honestly, it’s been kinda… better since she was gone, you know?”

Leafy’s smile and hopeful expression froze in place as her body shook, but not from the freezing weather. She slightly gasped in shock as she continued to smile forcibly, unable to understand what she heard.

What. What did Pin just say? She… She didn’t just say that, did she? Leafy was just… imagining that, right? Maybe her ears weren’t working correctly and she misheard what Pin said.

“Like, maybe I’m just noticing it because she’s gone now but she was kinda annoying. I mean, there’s only so many times you can call yourself the “nicest contestant,” before I wanna rip my ears out.” Pin stated, unknowingly destroying the last bit of hope that Leafy held.

This… wasn’t happening, right? This was just her brain making up a scenario to hurt her and she was merely dreaming that this was happening. It was the only way that this could make sense. Pin wouldn’t say this, she would never say anything like this about Leafy.

Any minute now, she was gonna wake up and everything would be okay again. And once she woke up, she could have the real Pin back! The one that cared about her and thought of her as a friend, not this imposter who was saying all of these things that the true Pin wouldn’t dare to utter.

Maybe this entire thing was a dream! That she wasn’t really in Yoyleland but rather in a coma! Or this was a hallucination. Maybe Leafy went crazy from being stuck here by herself that she became delusional that her brain, who already thought negatively of her, was sometimes making up a situation to cause her emotional distress.

Something! Anything! This wasn’t real! It couldn’t be! It’s not possible! Please let this be a dream. Please don’t let this be real. For once in her life, Leafy would rather this be some fucked up nightmare from her losing her lingering bits of sanity than the reality of hearing her friend say that she liked that Leafy was stuck here.

“Yeah, I get it, I always kinda thought it was a little grating as well. Like, you are that nice, why do you gotta mention it every single second.” Coiny replied, rolling his eyes, “That’s not even talking about how she stole Dream Island.”

“Can we not talk about that right now?” Pin said, looking downcast, “Just reminds me why we’re even competing in the first place.”

Leafy’s breathing grew heavy as she watched them talk about her like this. The thing that was hurting her the most from their words wasn’t the fact that they were saying it, talking bad about her behind her back, or even acknowledging that she was out here and didn’t care enough to rescue her.

Of course, all of those things were hurtful but it didn’t pain her as much as the biggest thing on her mind.

It was that they were right. They were only competing in a second season because of what Leafy did. This was all her fault. If she hadn’t stolen Dream Island, then a second season wouldn’t even be necessary.

She didn’t even know where the island was now so she couldn’t give it back even if she wanted to. All Leafy had left of it was this stupid fucking deed that was essentially meaningless! Leafy was an awful person. Horrible even.

Nicest contestant? Ha! More like Leafy was a stupid bitch. Of course, no one would ever want to spend time with someone like her. It made sense that they would desert her here because she deserved it.

Leafy deserved to be alone and abandoned.

There! She admitted it! Is everyone happy now!? Leafy finally understood what a despicable person she truly was at her core. A manipulator, a liar, a narcissist who pretends to be sweet and kind while being the worst person you’ll ever meet.

It was who she was at her core. She was always a terrible person. All of that stuff about trying to be nice was nothing more than delusional nonsense from a cunt like her.

Leafy was spiraling into self-hatred, she knew that much but she couldn’t stop. Every single negative thing she thought about herself had finally taken over and she believed all of it.

To be honest, why was she even still alive? Who would really value her existence? She didn’t even value her existence. Nothing more than wasting oxygen that other, much better people, than her could be using.

Leafy didn’t even realize that she had already begun to cry, silently sobbing to herself. Pin and Coiny didn’t even hear her. Or maybe they did and simply didn’t want to acknowledge that she was there.

After all, this was pathetic, wasn’t it? She was having an entire emotional breakdown over a few words. How utterly sad it all was. Shouldn’t she be stronger? But instead, she was melting down over a conversation.

Useless. Worthless. What a pathetic stain on everyone she was. Leafy really had no reason to still be alive. Maybe she could just close her eyes and never wake up again. That would make everyone happy, wouldn’t it? If Leafy stayed here permanently and never came back.

Yeah, it all made sense now. They all left her here alone to die. No one was ever going to come back for her so why didn’t she just speed up the process? It’s not like anyone wanted her back so she didn’t have to worry about being revived by a recovery center.

She could just lay down here forever and never move again.

Despite telling herself that, a part of Leafy didn’t fully believe it. Deep down, she didn’t actually want to die permanently. What she really needed was someone, just anyone, to tell her that she’s being irrational and that someone would miss her if she was gone.

A lifeline to pull her out of this darkness, a small glimmer of light that would tell her that she was cared for, that she was valued and loved by somebody. All she needed was one person who would care.

Just the words, “I care,” would make such a massive difference to how she viewed herself.

As Leafy continued to struggle with overwhelming despair, Coiny and Pin eventually finished picking berries and looked at each other.

“Alright, I think we got enough, guess we’d better head back.” Coiny remarked, to which Pin agreed as she nodded her head.

They started to walk off, triggering Leafy to desperately reach her hand out in some pathetic form to stop them. Even after what they said, having them here was way better than being alone again.

Leafy couldn’t handle being alone again.

“No, no, no… please don’t go…” She whimpered, her voice still hoarse and practically inaudible as she cried out for them to come back.

She couldn’t move, her body was still heavy and it felt like rocks were crushing down on her, making it impossible for her to do anything.

“Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go. I don’t wanna be alone. I don’t wanna be alone…” Leafy cried out, her begs going unnoticed and unheard.

“I don’t wanna be alone. I don’t wanna be alone.” Leafy muttered to herself, now back in the present, still staring at the Yoyleberry bush.

So many painful memories, all of them now brought back by this stupid fucking bush. Leafy wished that all of that was a dream, just like how she hoped it was in the past. 

Leafy often thought about Yoyleland, even if she didn’t want to. Was it because of her forced and prolonged silence that her voice came out the way that it did? Possibly. She never thought it came out just right but she always had a “funny” sounding voice so it was possible she was always going to sound like this.

Another thing she thought about was how her two biggest fears stemmed from her time there. If you asked Leafy what her worst fears were, she’d say two things. One fear wasn’t greater than the other and they both went hand in hand with each other to where they were practically related.

The fear of being alone. Leafy was terrified of loneliness. She never wanted to be by herself. Even when moments that she needed to be alone made her feel a deep sense of uncomfortableness, giving her a profound urge to check that other people were still around her and it wasn’t just her by herself.

She always needed someone to be beside her, just to remind that she still had at least one other person nearby.

Leafy was scared of being alone because it would mean that she had been rejected yet again, that she had been abandoned.

The second fear was fear of abandonment. If Leafy were to ever gain a friend, such as letting Firey back into her life, she would probably become horribly attached. She now realized that after the events of Yoyleland, she needed constant reassurance that she had someone and they weren’t gonna leave her.

Maybe this is why, even now, Leafy wanted her friends back, because she couldn’t handle the idea of being forever abandoned by them.

Leafy was scared of being abandoned because it would mean she would be left by herself once again.

That’s why she tried so hard to keep up a smile in front of everyone; she didn’t want people to see the real her and leave her alone again. If she just showed that she was a positive and happy girl living her life with no worries, then no one would remove her mask, there would be no one looking behind the curtain to see a broken person struggling to keep things together and filled with fears and insecurities.

This was the way she coped with her feelings because it was the only way she knew how. People like when others are happy, right? It made people like others when they were happy individuals so if Leafy couldn’t force herself to be happy for real, she would simply fake it until it became reality or she died.

Both fears were essentially the same thing for her and deeply connected. Leafy was scared of being abandoned because it meant she would have to be alone again. Leafy was scared of being alone because it meant she would be abandoned.

If Leafy could ever give herself credit for anything, it would be for being a good actor. She kept up that positive facade for a good few years before it inevitably crumbled and now she was as open as a book.

It was bound to happen one day. Perhaps not in the way of having an emotional breakdown in front of Firey but the point remained the same; it didn’t matter how good she was at pretending, the truth was undeniable and the truth was that Leafy wasn’t happy.

Was it a good thing or a bad thing? Leafy was unsure. Sure, it felt nice to not have to play a role every single hour of every minute every single damn day. She felt more free but still, she had been so used to just smiling and brushing everything off that it made her feel a little weak for being so emotional nowadays.

All of this self-reflecting was cut off by Firey tapping Leafy and snapping her out of her memories. She gasped as she turned to face him.

“Leafy, you good? You kinda blanked out for a while there.” He said, resting his hands on top of hers as he looked into her eyes, “Something happened?”

Leafy stared at Firey for a few moments, causing him to blush slightly as he awkwardly chuckled. It was a nice feeling, that she did have someone by her side. Even if it was someone like Firey, it gave Leafy a sense of comfort.

“Sorry about that… I just… like I said, I really fucking hate these things. Reminds me of… Yoyleland.” She remarked, looking slightly upset.

Firey immediately understood what she meant. Leafy was talking about when she was isolated on that tiny island… because of him. It made Firey feel guilty that because of his actions, Leafy couldn’t stand a simple berry.

“Well, umm, hey… I don’t know if this sounds good or not but, umm, if it makes you feel any better, I’m right here.” Firey replied, “Probably the only guy who you don’t want but, umm, I dunno… you’re not alone anymore, Leafy, I’m right here with you.”

He immediately felt self-conscious about his words and mentally berated himself for it. That was stupid, wasn’t it? Leafy wouldn’t actually believe that, would she? He was just saying a bunch of words that meant nothing unless he did something to prove that he meant it.

Leafy, on the other hand, was really touched by what he just said. It was nice to have a little reminder every now and then that someone did now care about her, even if it was Firey of all people. Him and Gelatin really did feel like lifelines, preventing Leafy from relapsing back into that negative self-perception.

Two people that helped to keep her grounded in reality and not whatever distorted lies her brain came up with. Leafy was not as bad of a person that she thought she was. It was a hard thing to say, telling herself that she isn’t awful but something that needed to be done.

She had to remember that she wasn’t in Yoyleland anymore and she could put all of that behind her. Maybe not fully, seeing as it would likely always be with her for the rest of her life but it didn’t have to mean that it should dictate everything about her.

Still didn’t mean she was ever gonna look at Yoyleberries the same way again.

“…Hey, Firey?” Leafy spoke softly with a sense of vulnerability, “…Thanks.”

“Uwah!?” Firey questioned, looking flustered and confused, “What are you thanking me for? I haven’t done anything.”

“I’m not sure…” Leafy remarked, “I guess… Thanks for being here. That’s all.”

Firey took a moment to process what she just said to him. Leafy just thanked him for being there for her. Oh wow! This was a good sign! Leafy just thanked him, which meant that she was viewing him more positively! Was this it? Was this how he was going to get Leafy to be his friend again?

Another win for him. They were now slowly rebuilding the bridge between them. There were still many bricks left to be placed but it was a work in progress. That bridge would get fully built one day.

“…Don’t think this means I forgive you or that we’re friends now.” Leafy sharply remarked, something that Firey was half expecting her to say.

He figured as much. One good moment didn’t mean that they could become best friends again or else they already would have. Like he said, there was still a lot more work left to do.

“Yeah… I kinda knew you’d say that.” He muttered, looking a little upset. Even if he knew this was coming, it didn’t stop him from feeling hurt by the acknowledgment.

Firey wanted to be Leafy’s friend again but it felt like he was getting nowhere. He never knew what to say or what to do to get back on Leafy’s good side. He knew that it was gonna be hard, considering their falling out and all that happened between them.

“…But,” Leafy continued, causing Firey to look up at her, “I think that… even if we aren’t friends, we are… pals.”

Firey gasped as he impulsively said, “What?” while staring at her with a dumbfounded expression.

What did she just say? Did she just say that they were pals!? Like, pals? That meant friendship, right? Were they friends now? No, she just said that they weren’t. But, still…

“I said… we’re pals. Not quite friends… not yet but… I dunno… maybe it’s stupid.” Leafy mumbled, rubbing her arm.

She didn’t want to lead Firey on or give him false hope. Leafy wasn’t saying this because they were now one hundred percent cool with each other but rather because she felt like their relationship had developed in a slightly more positive route.

Leafy wasn’t too comfortable with calling Firey her friend but she still felt like he wasn’t just Firey anymore. He was her pal. Not someone who she said she had this deep and rich emotional connection with but rather just… a guy who she likes spending time with.

While Leafy may have seen it as an awkward term of companionship, it meant the world to Firey. Sure, it was just a word but it meant that Leafy was starting to warm up to him. Just a little more work, a little more time and maybe then they could be friends again.

“No, it’s not stupid! I-I, umm, I… thank you.” Firey smiled, giving Leafy an affectionate gaze, “Really, I’m glad we’re pals, Leafy.”

He raised his hand for a fist bump and smiled softly at Leafy. She stared at the gesture and reciprocated it, giving him a fist bump, solidifying their new bond as pals.

As Firey mentally celebrated this victory, Leafy stared at Firey and gave off a slightly dreamy sigh. So cute, Firey was adorable when he was happy. Despite everything, she still held a small soft spot for him.

“He’s so cute…” Leafy thought to herself, softening her glance. She would never say it out loud to him but she did find him really cute. It was a strange feeling, to find the guy who ruined her life as attractive but he was.

Ah, if only her feelings made sense, maybe she wouldn’t feel so weird about feeling like this.

“Alright, I think we’ve been here long enough, let’s go.” Leafy remarked as she grabbed his hand and walked forward with him.

Firey, surprisingly, let go of Leafy’s hand and instead walked over to one of the bushes and plucked out a berry.

“Firey? What are you doing?” She questioned, staring at him with confusion.

“Oh, I just wanted to see what these things tasted like. I haven’t seen a Yoyleberry in a while so, you know, nostalgia and other stuff like that.” Firey casually remarked.

Leafy looked away in disgust. She couldn’t even think about the idea of eating those awful things. If Firey was gonna do it, then she didn’t want to have any part in it.

As she looked off to the side, Firey popped one of the berries in his mouth. He felt a little bad for lying to Leafy but he didn’t want to tell her the real reason why he wanted to try a Yoyleberry.

So he wouldn’t be a flame again. Err, well, not a flame temporarily since the effects would wear off eventually. But, all Firey wanted to do was be closer to Leafy without the fear of hurting so… why not give it a shot?

Did this make him seem too eager to please Leafy? He wasn’t too sure but it’s not like it mattered anyway. This was something that he wanted to do.

As he chewed on it, his face scrunched and realized how awful this thing tasted. Ugh, were they always this bitter? It tasted like complete crap. Firey couldn’t remember it tasting this awful.

He spat out and gave a disgusted look, “Ugh, why does this taste so bad?”

“You kinda get used to the taste after a while…” Leafy muttered underneath her breath as she crossed her arms.

The leaf watched Firey as he stared down at the chewed up and spat out berry. She couldn’t help but wonder why he did such a thing. There was no benefit to eating one of these things, unless you wanted to turn into metal and why the hell would you want something like that to happen?

Leafy could speak on experience; being metal was an awful experience to have.

Suddenly, Firey started to look a little… sick, stumbling as he tried to walk. Leafy’s face immediately turned into concern as she watched her pal struggle to move.

“Firey!? Are you okay?” She asked, walking up to him while looking anxious.

Firey groaned, not sure where the sudden sickness came from. His body felt heavy and like he was about to collapse at any given moment.

“Ugh… I don’t feel so good…” were the last words he managed to get out before his eyelids felt heavy and he saw Leafy’s scared and worried face as he fell to the floor and passed out.

Chapter Text

Firey’s eyes shot open as he gasped. What just happened? Where was he? What was the last thing he was doing?

Leafy. Yoyleberries. Right! He was last walking in the forest with Leafy and ate a Yoyleberry before passing out.

He slowly got up from the ground and tried to regain his footing. The first thing he noticed was when his foot slipped in between a bar, causing him to almost fall.

Wait, a bar?

Now regaining his vision, he looked around at his surroundings only to feel his stomach drop into his chest. His eyes scanned around the area and he found himself staring at… gray, lots of it.

A sickly familiar type of grey.

Firey’s breathing grew harsh as he now fully took in where he was; in a cage. It was suspended about a few hundred feet from the ground and gently swinging back and forth.

No, no… it couldn’t be, right? Not this place again. Anywhere but this place again. Out of everywhere he wanted to be, this was one of the last places he wished to remember.

“Just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.” He muttered to himself, hoping that mantra would save him from this nightmare.

Firey needed to relax. None of this was real, he wasn’t actually back here. He was just in a nightmare and any moment now, he would wake up back in reality and not this hell.

He was back in the cage in Yoylecity attached to the Yoyle Needy. A terrifying revelation for him. Why was he here again? He didn’t want to be here again. It wasn’t his fault! He didn’t deserve to be here just because-!

Firey paused, unable to remember. Why was he here? Why was he locked up in this cage? He knew that there was a reason but he couldn’t remember what that reason was.

It didn’t really matter as all of the horrible sensations he associated with this place all came flooding back. Being trapped up here triggered one of his worst fears.

Heights. Yes, a potential small and childish fear, especially considering his love for Ferris wheels but heights were one of the few things to really scare him. Firey had to consciously remind himself to not look down.

No matter what, regardless of how much he was tempted to, Firey could not look down. Because the moment did, it would make this nightmare feel all the more real.

He didn’t want a reminder of how high up he was, or how horrifying it would be if he so happened to fall. Sure, even if he died, he could just be revived-!

Wait, that wasn’t true, because people were mad at him. He did something that people didn’t like and that’s why he was here! This was some form of punishment for a mistake he made.

Meaning if he died, no one was gonna revive him. They would leave him for dead permanently.

Actually, speaking of death, as much as he didn’t want to, why wasn’t he dead right now? As a sentient flame, shouldn’t he be burning the metal of the cage?

Or, perhaps that was a good thing since if it did burn, Firey would have already been burning a hole through the floor and would currently be falling down and to his death.

Geez, when did his thoughts become so grim?

Why was he even bringing logic to this? He was in a dream, things didn’t have to make sense. And the more he thought about falling, the higher the chance of his brain making that horrific scenario a “reality” in his mind.

None of this mattered, there were no consequences here. All he had to do was wake himself up and everything would go back to normal!

“Right. How do people in movies wake themselves up…?” Firey pondered, before coming to a conclusion.

By slapping themselves, of course! Firey would just need to himself and then he would be back in the real world.

Firey raised his hand and quickly slapped himself across his cheek, only to immediately wince and grunt in pain as he felt the agony of touching fire.

“Ow! Fuck!” He exclaimed, waving his hand as he blew on it. That was a real dumb move on his part. And why did that feel so real? This was only a dream and yet it felt like he slapped himself in the real world.

Why was this even happening to him? He ate one Yoyleberry and immediately passed out and now he was suddenly having some freakishly realistic nightmare? Was this some way of his brain to get back at him? By making him relive one of the worst experiences of his life?

Back in the real world, Leafy was pacing uncontrollably back and forth, unsure of what to do. Firey was completely knocked out, totally unresponsive to any of her calls for him to wake up.

Her eyes were fixated on him as she internally flipped through different options to help him. She needed someone, like Four or X to come over here and help Firey wake up. Leafy would do something herself but she was still far too scared about accidentally hurting herself if she touched him.

Selfish. It made her feel guilty that she was more worried about herself than her pal who was passed out in front of her. But, she rationalized her self-critical thoughts by reminding herself that even if she could touch him, slapping him would probably not wake him up.

After all, only children believe in that nonsense.

“Firey, come on! Wake up!” She shouted at his unconscious body, getting the same silent reply that she was expecting from him.

She knew that she should go and find help but she was unsure about if it was the right call to leave him here. Leafy thought about when Firey stayed with her during her panic attack and helped calm her down.

Now, the situation was kinda reversed, Firey was the one who needed help but Leafy didn’t even know what was wrong with him, let alone how to fix any of this.

What would happen if she did leave? What if Firey woke up while she was gone and thought she’d abandoned him? The better question was; where would she even go?

They were lost and Leafy had no idea how to go back to the others. She couldn’t just leave Firey here alone but… ah! She couldn’t just stay here and do nothing!

Huh, guess after everything, she still really cared about him a lot. Leafy just wanted him to be safe and wake up already, so she could make sure that he was fine and hadn’t accidentally gone and killed himself.

If she could be honest, she was panicking quite a lot. Gosh, why did he have to go and knock himself out? What was he thinking, eating a random Yoyle berry like that? He had no idea what he was even shoving in his mouth.

Why would he do something like that? Was he stupid? There were absolutely no benefits to eating a Yoyleberry unless you wanted to turn metal! Which, from personal experience, Leafy knew was not a fun thing.

Despite that, the one thing that Leafy wanted right now was for Firey to just open his eyes already! She couldn’t even tell if he was even still alive. Was she gonna have to go get Four to recover him?

“Hmm…” Firey groaned, snapping Leafy back into attention.

He groaned! That was a good sign, wasn’t it? If he was groaning, then it meant he was still alive. Firey was okay… ish.

Leafy rushed over to his side and kneeled beside him, watching him as he let out quiet whines and his body shuffled. He looked like a sick child. Maybe he had actually gotten sick. Oh gosh, Leafy had no idea what she would do if he was sick.

Leafy would have to deal with that possibility if it arose. Right now, the important thing was that Firey was still groaning and that had to mean that he was about to wake up, right?

Any minute now, he’d open his eyes and Leafy would probably tell him to never scare her this much ever again. She would be slightly angry at him but that would be more due to the fact that she cared so much about him and he was giving her the sensation of having ten heart attacks at once.

It was only then she realized that she didn’t want Firey to wake up; she needed him to wake up. He was one of the few good things she had left and she couldn’t lose him, not like this.

“Please wake up…” She whispered to him, hoping that he could hear her and fulfill her desire.

“Hey! Hello? I kinda wanna wake up now!” Firey shouted to no one as his hands clutched at the bars of his cage.

He was hoping that maybe he would just yell at himself to wake up. That maybe his brain would actually start working again and so he didn’t have to be back in this horrible place that brought on so many traumatic memories, most of which he couldn’t even remember.

Firey knew that they were bad memories and feelings associated with being trapped in this cage and all he could feel was nothing but pure anxiety and dread upon being here.

A horrible sickness spread throughout his body that he couldn’t even recognize. He wanted out. Now. Right now in fact.

Firey pondered why he was back here specifically and why he couldn’t remember what exactly happened to put him in such a situation.

Was there something his brain wanted to remember? Perhaps a repressed or locked away memory that he needed to remember once again? Or maybe he shouldn’t, considering the awful feelings he was getting from being in here.

As he pondered over this, Firey suddenly heard a footstep. It was a quiet one until he heard another and another. Someone was coming up the stairs to the tower.

Fear gripped his heart. Who could possibly be coming up right now? If all of this was nothing more than a dream, then he should know, shouldn’t he?

More and more footsteps were approaching his destination, getting louder and louder as they got closer. His breathing hitched as all he could do was stand there and wait as the figure finally walked through the doorway.

“…Pencil?” Firey asked, looking at her in surprise as she walked through the doorway and glared at him.

What was she doing in his dream? Out of all of the people that he knew that he could have predicted coming out of that door, she would have been dead last.

They didn’t talk much, since Pencil was always mucking around with Match. The last time they chatted was in BFDIA, sometime after Firey had gotten eliminated. Pencil wasn’t too happy that he and Gelatin infiltrated their team, Freesmart, to screw them over and take the Yoylelit from Ruby.

But, that little adventure ended up with Firey being eliminated and that should have been that, seeing as they never spoke much during BFB. Hell, Firey wasn’t too sure where the real Pencil was now! For all he knew, she’d up and vanished one day.

Guess he would have to deal with the dream version of her.

Pencil stood beyond the cage, glaring at him with an intense stare. Her eyes seem cold and yet searching for something inside of him at the same time. Her arms were crossed as she tapped her foot, almost… impatient?

Did she want something from him? Was she expecting something from him? Should he say something? Would Pencil even respond?

His thoughts were answered as Pencil made the first time, “Well, how’s it feel, hm?”

Firey didn’t respond at first, not knowing if he should. This wasn’t the real Pencil and it seemed like he had no real control over her actions, despite this all taking place in his mind.

All he was thinking was about how weird this entire situation was, and why he hadn’t woken up yet. How long has it been? Did time work the same here? For all he knew, a minute in here was an hour out there.

Leafy must have been worried sick. He had to get back to her as soon as he could… once he figured out how to get back.

“Umm, hello? I’m, like, talking to you, Firey.” Pencil spoke, startling Firey once again.

Okay, so it seems like Dream Pencil was acting on her own accord… ish. Firey wondered what exactly she was meant to represent. Was she a part of his subconscious taking a physical form? Why exactly was it Pencil specifically and not someone else who was more fitting?

Regardless, he needed to answer her. Firey looked at her directly in the eyes as he spoke, “What… do you want?”

His voice showed how hesitant he was, being a bit more quieter and less confident than he wanted to sound like. Oh well, why did it matter? None of this was real so what was he trying to prove?

Although, it did make him feel a bit pathetic that he was a bit scared of Pencil, even if this version of her was only in his head.

Pencil didn’t say anything to his statement, instead she circled around the cage, her eyes were still glued to him. Firey thought about potentially asking her to let him go. This was his dream, wasn’t it? And he could control what happens in it, so he could just make her get him out.

“Pencil… let me out of here.” He said, trying to sound as demanding and forceful as he could.

Pencil laughed wickedly at his words, finding some sickening sense of amusement from the fact that he actually thought he had some sort of power over her.

“Umm, why should I? You know what you did!” She hurled back, making Firey raise an eyebrow.

What he did? What was Pencil talking about? What did Firey do that got him stuck in this predicament? He could vaguely remember that this was some form of punishment for some transgression he committed but what was it?

“What are you talking about? What did I do?” He questioned.

Pencil rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip, “Are you trying to lie to me? You can’t be this much of a dumbass!”

Firey scowled, starting to remember why he didn’t hang out with Pencil all that often. Sure, this version of her was based off of his memories and subconscious but she didn’t seem to be acting all that far off to her usual self.

“I’m not lying, Pencil! I really don’t know why I’m here. Can’t you just tell me?” Firey asked, gripping the bars of his cages as he stared at her.

Pencil groaned, “You really don’t remember? Did you hit your head or something when we put you in there? Or is this some sort of trick to make me feel bad for you.”

“It’s not a trick, I swear.” Firey pleaded, giving her a genuine desperate look, with his eyes piercing into hers, “Look, if you wanna keep me in here, fine. But you gotta at least tell me why I’m here.”

Pencil was silent for a moment as she contemplated his words. Firey wasn’t sure why he was even trying to convince a figment of his own imagination to tell him something he likely already knew but he was desperate at this point for any sort of explanation.

“…Fine,” she breathed out, “Since I guess you’ve got, like, amnesia or whatever; I’ll tell you.”

Firey waited patiently for her next words. What was she about to tell him? Was she finally going to tell him the truth and trigger some sort of repressed memory?

“Well, first of all, everyone on Freesmart was, like, super pissed off when you and Gelatin joined our team only to make us lose! You’re lucky that you got eliminated or else I would have done something that would have made you regret crossing us.” Pencil explained, throwing her arms up in the air.

What. What? That was it? That was the reason he was trapped in here? For a stupid betrayal he did over a decade ago during BFDIA? Why was Pencil even still mad about that? It happened so long ago.

Before he could even think about what he was saying, Firey replied with, “Pencil! That was like over ten years ago! Who cares about that now?”

Pencil raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms and scowled at him, “What are you even talking about? That was two years ago, not ten.”

Firey was confused before the realization hit him. Right, this was during IDFB, right after BFDIA ended. In this weird dream-flashback thing, BFB hadn’t even happened yet, none of what was going on in the present time had occurred yet.

Firey’s current brain was still in the present while everything here was in the past. To him, that incident was a long time ago, but to Pencil, it was relatively recent. 

Meaning he couldn’t speak to her about anything past this point in time. Anything about BFB would be pointless since this version of Pencil hadn’t yet experienced it. In fact, no one in IDFB would know what he was talking about if he said anything.

Anything about Four, X, Two or the split would just make Firey look crazy.

In the dream, it was only two years since BFDIA. In reality and present time, nearly a decade has passed since that era. Figures, he would have to talk to her as if all of this was new to him and not something he already lived through.

“Oh… yeah, you’re right… I guess my head is still a little fuzzy,” Firey lied, “But, why does it even matter now? BFDIA is over! Just let it go. Why do you care that me and Gelatin joined Freesmart?”

“Because you guys tried to steal the Yoylelite away from us! Ruby really liked that thing, you know.” Pencil remarked.

“Okay, well, we only wanted to take it because…” Firey impulsively spoke before pausing and going silent.

The one bad thing about being stuck within  a dream-flashback that happened roughly eight years ago was that it was hard to remember every single detail. How was he supposed to talk about these things like they were relatively recent when they actually felt like they were forever ago? There was no way for him to be able to remember every single small detail about BFDIA!

Firey vaguely remembered the Yoylelite but had completely forgotten about why he even wanted it in the first place. Gosh, he wished he had a better memory or maybe even a Dream version of Gelatin to help him  out, since if everything went as he thought they did, that version of him would have an easier time explaining their motivations.

Yeah, Gelatin would be a massive help here. Why did it have to be Pencil out of everyone who was a part of IDFB?  His brain couldn’t pick a better avatar than her?

Actually, speaking of Gelatin, why wasn’t he here? Not that Firey wanted him to also be trapped in this cage dangling high up from the ground but if the two of them were the ones who betrayed Freesmart, wouldn’t it also make sense for him to be here as well? Why wouldn’t Freesmart also lock him up in this cage with him?

Firey could just brush it off as it being a dream and dream logic but it didn’t seem right. There was something else to it.

Regardless, that didn’t matter right now as he tried to figure out why he wanted that Yoylelite.

Fuck, he couldn’t remember, it was so long ago. Why did he and Gelatin want that stupid fucking Yoylelite for? Because it was shiny? No, that wasn’t it. It wasn’t something either of them necessarily cared about.

Right, someone asked him to. Someone on his team asked him and Gelatin to infiltrate Freesmart and pretend to be on the team just so they could steal the Yoylelite away from Ruby and give it to one of their teammates?

Who was it? Who on his team from the past would even care for something like that? To everyone else, it was nothing but a shiny object to marvel over. For the person who requested it, they wanted it to make a breakthrough for… science!

That was it! Science! Golf Ball and Tennis Ball were both complete nerds over crap like this. It had to be them, one of them asked for the Yoylelite so they could research it some more. They were the only two options that made sense.

And, between the two, Firey would be more likely to listen to Tennis Ball, seeing as he was much nicer and less… demanding than Golf Ball. There was a reason why everyone gave her the nickname of “Bossy-Bot.”

“Because…?” Pencil commented, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“Because of TB, duh! You know he’s a massive science geek. So why isn’t he the one locked up here?” Firey stated.

“Umm, because we didn’t lock you inside of that cage just because of the Yoylelite incident.” Pencil remarked, catching Firey off guard.

He wasn’t here because of that? How come? What could be the real reason they locked him inside of this cage? Had he done something even worse?

“What?” He questioned.

“Well, like, even though Ruby and the rest of us Freesmarters were all super annoyed with your little betrayal, you did something even worse.”

Now Firey was extremely confused. What had he done? What else could he have done that pissed off Pencil and her team so much that they thought the only appropriate response would be to lock him inside of a cage dangling across hundreds of feet in the air?

“Okay… then, why am I here?” Firey inquired, flipping back through memories in his mind to see if he did something wrong that could have warranted this reaction.

Pencil scoffed, clearly annoyed with answering more questions, “Because you revived Leafy!”

What. What? What?! Firey never did that! Firey never remembered doing anything like that. He remembered that Leafy had died during BFDIA, being killed by Gelatin and since she was still pretty hated at this time, no one wanted to revive her.

It made even less sense for someone like him. Firey used to absolutely despise Leafy, not being able to think about her because of the Dream Island incident. It made no sense for someone like him to be the one to revive her.

Actually, speaking of which, how did Leafy come back? Someone would have had to use a recovery center to bring her back to life and no one really enjoyed her company so it didn’t make sense. Firey did wonder how she came back when he saw her again during BFB but never thought too hard about it.

Now Pencil was telling him that he was the one who did that? No way! This just had to be a byproduct of the fact that he was dreaming. Maybe his brain was making up false information to fill in the gaps.

“What are you talking about, Pencil? I didn’t do that!” Firey shot back, trying to defend himself against this very strange accusation.

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me, Firey! Don’t you remember when we caught you? You snuck out by the recovery center in the dead of night and brought back Leafy!” Pencil declared, “Not to mention that we found the packed bags you had and that note in your room. You brought back Leafy and were planning to run away with her!”

Firey was becoming even more befuddled by the news. This all had to be nothing but a figment of his imagination, there’s no way he did any of these things in real life. He had absolutely no recollection of what Pencil was talking about.

Packed bags? A note? Running away with Leafy? When did Firey do this? How did he do any of this?

“Pencil, I seriously have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” Firey earnestly answered.

“Oh, yeah? Well, maybe this’ll jog your memory.” Pencil said as she pulled out a note and held it in front of the cage, close enough for Firey to be able to read it.

He silently read the words that he had apparently written himself, “Hey, guys? If you’re reading this, I’m probably long gone by now. Writing this now and leaving it here so you guys don’t freak out and go looking for me.

Okay, I don’t really know how to say this but I’ll try anyway; I can’t do this anymore. I can’t sit here and watch everybody and everything move while she’s gone. I tried to forget about it, forget about her but I can’t. I still care a lot, and it’s hurting me. 

I know we all agreed that life was better without her and she stole Dream Island from us and you’re probably wondering why me out of everyone is doing this since I was the one who lost that prize but… it just doesn’t feel right.

Yeah, you can pin everything on her and she did make a big mistake and I did agree with hating Leafy and pretending she doesn’t exist anymore for a while since I was so pissed off but I can’t do it.

She doesn’t deserve for all of us to stop caring about her even if she screwed us over and I also should have been better. It’s not fair that she gets to be forgotten when I’ve also fucked up.

None of this ever felt right to me. I don’t get how you all just stand there and talk like we didn’t leave someone and abandon them. I get that you guys weren’t as close to her as I was but has that seriously never crossed your mind once?

She was my best friend and you all knew her like I did. I don’t get how I can just stop having all of these feelings for her. I can’t just leave her for dead for good and pretend she never existed; Leafy was and still is my best friend.

So, I’m leaving and I’m taking Leafy with me with no clue where we’re gonna go but I think it’s gonna be fine. I know my reputation is now down in the trash and this is probably gonna make me public enemy number two but that’s fine. I can see you all calling me a traitor and stuff but honestly, I just don’t care and I think you guys would do the same thing if this was your best friend.

I can’t live a life without Leafy in it and I don’t feel bad for saying that. I know that none of you are all that better. Match can barely function without Pencil and Tennis Ball is basically attached to Golf Ball by the hip all of the time, not to mention everyone has a best friend they rely on! (I would list them all but I don’t have the time and I’m running out of space on the paper.) 

It’s not fair that you guys can have your best friends by your side but I have to give up mine. You can say whatever you want about me and my choice but I think you know you’d do the same thing if it was you and someone who you cared about.

I won’t be coming back here and this is probably the last time you’ll ever hear from me. So, I guess all I wanna say is… see ya and… sorry. - Firey,”

His eyes widened as he stumbled back, completely caught off guard by the evidence in front of him. That… was his handwriting, it seemed like something he’d write. This letter… seemed too genuine to be fake.

No, it had to be! This was just a dream, right? So, his brain just made this up! But, even with that said, a sickening sensation welled up inside of him.

He remembered that note. The words, even if they weren’t exactly what he had written, felt so familiar to him. His eyes winced as he thought really hard about IDFB, about this cage, about Leafy.

…Oh. Oh no. It was true. Firey… did do that. It was all starting to come back to him. He started to remember everything, he remembered trying to live life without Leafy, dismissing her as a traitor who stole his prize and ruined not only his life but everyone else’s.

That belief didn’t last for too long. Sure, he was mad for a while but that unpleasant feeling in the bottom of his stomach was so persistent. Seeing everyone so happy and peaceful after BFDI and BFDIA was over made him realize why he didn’t feel as satisfied.

It was because he missed Leafy. That awful feeling in his body was guilt. He felt guilty for leaving her, guilty for not keeping up his promise to be with her.

Firey tried for so long to suppress that guilt. To say that it didn’t matter and he was happy without her but it just grew more and more every day until he just couldn’t take it anymore. Sometimes all he thought about was her, late nights in the middle of his life as he tried to sleep and tried to keep his emotions in check.

He eventually realized she was the only one who made him actually feel happy. It was then that he realized that, whether he liked it or not, he had fallen in love with her.

It was a strange and hard feeling to accept at first, being in love with someone. Firey didn’t know how it even felt to be in love, but the best way he could explain it was unbridled affection for someone, the desire to hold them, be with them and make them feel loved and appreciated. Firey wanted Leafy to feel like that.

He wanted to see her again, he needed to see her again. The desire of leaving Yoylecity and running away with Leafy grew stronger the more he thought about it. Firey eventually put his plan into action; he was going to pack his stuff, write a note explaining where he went, rush over to the recovery center to revive her, apologize to Leafy and convince her to run away with him.

It would be the middle of the night so no one would see him. A perfect plan really.

“Fuck everyone else. We don’t need them, it can just be me and you.”

Those were the words he said to Leafy, but she didn’t hear him, likely due to still being dazed and confused at being brought back to life.

Everything would have gone perfectly if Ruby wasn’t there. Had she not been awake at the time and noticed the two before alerting the rest of Freesmart, they probably would have escaped successfully.

They were caught; they were screwed. Leafy managed to run away but Firey wasn’t as lucky. He was locked up in that cage, dangling in the air for what he did. He was listed as a traitor, a betrayer, someone who should be looked down upon.

Firey hated that more than anything, dealing with all of those judgemental stares, the whispers and the backlash he faced. For all of his life, he never really had “friends,” since he was by himself most of the time. So, when he won Dream Island and allowed almost everyone inside, they all loved him.

He craved that love, attention and affection. Firey adored being at the center of everyone’s focus and being told how great he was. Perhaps it gave him a bit of an ego and an inflated sense of self but he didn’t care. Everyone adored him.

Suddenly, people were paying attention to him. People actually liked spending time with him, asking if he’d hang out with them. It made Firey realize how terrible things were before winning Dream Island, because now he was no longer the guy that slapped Coiny a bunch and fought with him; he was now the winner of BFDI and everyone’s friend.

So, to fall from that high position and have some of those said people calling him every name in the book after they discovered that he revived Leafy, it made him hate everything, even Leafy a little bit. He knew it wasn’t fair to blame her but he couldn’t help it.

Firey despised being trapped in that cage for so long, barely seeing anyone and spending his time alone. He was going crazy, wanting to do anything to get back to how people saw him before. Firey needed that attention again, he needed his friends back again. He couldn’t go back to how things were like before, anything but back to that profound sense of loneliness.

So, he took the easy way out; pinning everything on Leafy. All of those rumors? Started by him. The negativity around Leafy, while still high and far from good, was starting to calm down as people gradually moved on from the incident.

But Firey brought that hatred right back to where it was, or maybe even higher. 

Slandering Leafy became a bit of a pastime for him, a hobby if you will. By saying that it was her fault and that she threatened him before she died to bring him back to life, it was easy to stroke the flames and essentially manipulate everyone else into believing his lies. Everyone already didn’t like her so they didn’t question it when he told them all of the bullshit he did.

Overtime, he blocked out the memories of IDFB and held genuine hatred for Leafy, completely forgetting what he had done and also his feelings for her as well. The experience of being in that cage, of IDFB in general, was too painful for him to handle so he just repressed everything.

And then, it was like it never even happened. Firey had successfully managed to make a facade of him being a victim to not only everyone else but also to himself.

That confrontation outside of the courthouse, with Leafy having an emotional breakdown in front of him and all of that immense guilt he felt? It wasn’t Firey realizing what he had done to her and how messed up her life was now but rather… it was the feelings of suppressed guilt harking back from all of those years ago coming back to the surface.

That’s why he felt so awful. Those same feelings of regret over what he had done were finally coming out of the floodgates.

Fuck! Fuck, what had he done? Why did he have to remember all of that?! Leafy… oh gosh…

“See! You remember now, don’t you?” Pencil remarked.

Firey was unsure if she was speaking purely about why he was in there or his subconscious was now speaking to him about what he had done.

Regardless, he did remember now and he wished he didn’t.

In the real world, Leafy watched Firey carefully as he groaned and his eyelids twitched. He seemed to be on the verge of waking up.

Leafy couldn’t express how relieved she was. This entire time, she had been worried that Firey was seriously sick but it looked like he would be fine overall. She had so many things she wanted to tell him, mainly about how he shouldn’t go eating raw Yoyleberries if he didn’t need to.

But, she was also gonna tell him about how much this scared her and how much she cared about him. Despite their shaky relationship, she still viewed him as someone very important to her and didn’t want anything bad to happen to him.

Leafy watched as Firey’s eyelids gradually fluttered open and he woke up, blinking himself to consciou. He grunted as he slowly got up, looking dazed.

“Firey!” Leafy cried out in joy, almost about to hug the guy before realizing how much of a bad idea that would be and stopped halfway.

Her initial smile faded away as she looked at his expression. Firey looked… conflicted and uncertain, as if something was bothering him. Leafy was always relatively good at reading people’s true emotions and she could tell that something was wrong.

“Firey, are you alright? You were knocked out for like fifteen minutes.” She said, grabbing his arm only for him to flinch and move back.

Unbeknownst to Leafy, Firey only did that because of the newfound memories he regained. He didn’t feel like he deserved her to touch him. Firey felt terrible just looking, remembering all that he did.

This was bad. What was he going to do about this with Leafy? How was he gonna tell her? Was there even a good way to tell her? How could he possibly tell her about what he just learned?

No, the question Firey was really asking himself was if he should even tell her. They had just made progress to becoming friends again and Firey just had to remember what he did to her right now. She would despise him, possibly even more than she had before.

He was just starting to win her over, to get her to be his best friend again and hopefully even more than just that. Why did he have to remember what he did after she called him her pal, after they held hands! If Leafy holding Firey’s hand didn’t scream that she was warming up to him, he wasn’t sure what did.

It didn’t help that he was essentially infatuated with her. Firey was basically head over heels for Leafy and he didn’t want to lose her for the, what was it now, the third time. He loved her so much and couldn’t lose this chance to be with her.

But, now all he was thinking about was what he did. If he told her, it would be completely over. All of the progress would plummet down to zero and he’d never have a chance to win her over again.

Why would Leafy want to be his friend after this? She was already struggling with forgiving him or not so what would she do if he told her that he lied and manipulated people’s emotions just to get back a bit of that affection he craved?

Leafy was starting to trust him again, she was starting to like him again, Firey felt they were becoming closer again and now it might all be over if he tells her what happened.

But, he also couldn’t lie to her either. Even if the outcome was bad, a true friendship couldn’t be made based on lies. Firey wouldn't just lie to her face every time he saw her and what would happen if she figured it out herself? It would make things ten times worse if someone else besides Firey told her what happened.

At the very least, if Leafy was gonna hear the truth, it should be from his mouth. If someone else told Leafy or she figured it out, he couldn’t even imagine what the reaction would be. Finding out that Firey not only ruined her chances to be welcomed back into the group after years of abandonment because he craved attention, that Firey lied to her face just to be her friend and that he couldn’t even tell her to her face himself would break her completely.

That was the least thing he wanted to do. Firey wanted to protect Leafy’s feelings, even if it meant screwing himself over at the end.

What should he do? Tell her and risk losing their growing bond or lie to her and nurture a renewed relationship based on a falsehood? What was the better outcome here? Actually, another wrong question.

The better question was which option would suck the least. To which the unfortunate answer was neither. They were both awful in their own ways.

Fuck, if he hadn’t remembered, if he just remained blissfully unaware of what he did during IDFB, none of this would be happening. Back then, people were finally starting to get over the “Dream Island incident,” since it had been years and the island was long gone and the chances of Firey ever seeing it again was slim to none.

Maybe, if Firey didn’t make up all of those lies about her, she would have her friends again. He knew how much she wanted everyone back and to be accepted by the group once more and if he had just let things run their natural course, the overwhelmingly hatred for her would have turned into a more neutral perspective and, with genuine effort from Leafy, a more positive and welcome experience.

But, Firey took that all away. Leafy would undoubtedly hate him for it. If she found out that he was a good chunk of the reason why she would likely never be able to be welcomed by everyone ever again, he didn’t want to imagine what she’d say to him.

“Firey, are you sick or something? You look like you’re about to throw up. Don’t tell me if you have a fever or something.” Leafy’s concerned voice said, breaking through Firey’s thoughts.

Firey did feel sick, extremely sick. Funny, X said the exact same thing to me after the little diary confrontation. Even if he wanted to, it seemed apparent to everyone that he always looked sick when he felt guilty.

One thing was for certain; Firey was NOT going to tell Leafy right now. He had to think hard about what he wanted to do before making any final decisions.

“U-Umm, no… nothing like that. I just… I had a really bad dream, that’s all.” He fibbed, trying to sound as nonchalant as he could.

Leafy studied his expression for a moment, with Firey trying to seem relaxed even if his mind was racing with uncertainty over what he should do.

“Well, that’s your own fault! Seriously, what the heck were you thinking, eating a raw Yoyleberry like that!?” Leafy questioned, sounding annoyed, “What if you were allergic!? What if it was rotten?! You could have been seriously hurt or what if you had died, Firey? Did you really not think about that at all!?”

“Ah, what? There’s no need to scold me for something like this, you know!” Firey shot back, “I think I learned my lesson already…”

“I’m just saying that you did something pretty stupid,” Leafy admonished, rolling her eyes, “Seriously, do you know how much that scared me? I was standing herf panicking, thinking that you might have really hurt.”

Her voice became a bit softer as she stared into his eyes. Firey could see the vulnerability shining from beneath them as she grabbed at his hand.

“Just… don’t do that again, please? For me?” She softly begged, making the guilt Firey was already feeling ten times worse.

He wanted this to stop. He wanted Leafy to stop caring, to stop being so concerned about him. It only served to make him feel even more awful about the truth that would undoubtedly break her.

It would be so much easier if Leafy still held that same high level of pure hatred for him but to have her be so openly sweet and caring made Firey even more fearful of how she would respond to what really happened.

“…I promise.” Firey replied as he grabbed her own hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Even if it wasn’t reflected in her expression, Firey felt that Leafy was a bit happier with what he said.

The two stared into each other’s eyes as Firey began to feel a bit nervous and embarrassed. They were really close to each other and Leafy wasn’t exactly pulling away either.

His body felt hot, well, hotter than usual, as he gulped. Firey wanted to say something but his brain was practically empty as he thought about how cute Leafy looked at that moment.

They were so close and Firey was getting weird thoughts from it. If only the Yoyleberry had worked and turned him into metal, maybe then he could kiss Leafy.

Would she even want that? Firey was unsure but the intimate moment was starting to get to him. He wondered what was going on in Leafy’s head. Did she want him to do something or just let the moment pass by without attempting anything?

His brain urged him to just do it already but he resisted. He was barely Leafy’s friend, let alone her boyfriend and that wasn’t even mentioning the difficulty in doing something like that. Firey couldn’t even give her a hug without it killing her.

“Leafy, I… umm… I-!” Firey stammered, starting to say something before the sound of bushes being rustled and someone coming closer interrupted him.

Firey and Leafy looked confused and slightly worried as X popped out of the bushes, surprising the both of them.

“X!? What are you doing here?!” Leafy questioned as she looked down at the co-host of BFB.

“What am I doing here? What are you two doing here?” X asked, “Today’s challenge is already over and you two missed it!”

Firey and Leafy both shared a look of realization at the same time. Right, they had completely forgotten that the world didn’t revolve around their own personal issues and they were still in the middle of BFB.

“Umm, whoops… I guess we lost track of the time…” Firey awkwardly chuckled.

“We’re really sorry, X but, umm, Firey passed out and I had to stay with him.” Leafy remarked, “It won’t happen again.”

X grumbled something underneath his breath, “Well, it’s not that I’m mad at you guys, I’m sure you two had a good reason to be this far out in the woods but Four isn’t as happy… actually, who am I kidding? He’s really upset and wants to see both of you right now.”

Fuck, that definitely wasn’t good. If Four was mad at them for missing the challenge, there was no telling what their punishment might be. The other co-host wasn’t as sweet and understanding as X was and seemed to have a slightly sadistic streak to them.

Maybe joining Two’s show would have been better.

Regardless, it’s not like they could refuse or meet him. That would only serve piss Four off even more than he already was. They would have just to deal with it when they get there.

“…Alright,” Leafy responded, grabbing onto Firey’s hand, “Let’s go see Four…”

Chapter Text

Firey laid down on the ground, kicking his feet as he sketched in his notebook. He drew one of his favorite things in the world; a Ferris wheel. He had never been on one himself but he always thought they were pretty cool.

Being high in the sky like that, looking down at everything below you. It seemed pretty magical to someone like him.

The only thing he wished for was someone to share that experience with, for Firey was alone. Why else would he be drawing by himself with no one else around him?

Looking up, he noticed Snowball, Blocky, Eraser, and Pen chatting with each other as they usually did. Pencil and Match were sitting down and looking at the sky with Spongy nearby.

Coiny and Pin were walking around and talking. Woody was bothering Teardrop yet again as she looked annoyed. Golf Ball seemed to be mindlessly ranting about something scientific related while Tennis Ball nodded his head in agreement and listened intently.

Bubble and Needle were watching over Rocky who seemingly was blissfully aware of all of the barf he was getting everyone.

Hell, even Flower was talking to Ice Cube. And by talking, Firey meant that Flower was yelling at Ice Cube who grew more and more uncomfortable.

The point was that everyone else had someone while Firey had absolutely nobody. He was never really seen or heard by the others unless he was fighting with Coiny.

At first, it seemed fine but he soon found an odd void in his stomach whenever he was alone for too long. He often wondered why it was that he had nobody. Why did everyone else get to have a friend while he was alone?

That wasn’t fair! Why didn’t anyone want to be his friend?! Was there something wrong with him? Maybe there was. Maybe… It was because there was nothing for the others to like about Firey.

What even was there about him? What did he bring to the table that others did? That he liked to draw in his free time? Anyone could do that. Even Firey himself couldn’t think about who he was or why others would want to spend time with him.

His face dropped as he grumbled and pushed those thoughts to the side as he worked on his drawing. He just had to distract his mind and not think about stuff like that. They would probably go away in the future anyway.

As he tried to get rid of those thoughts, he could hear footsteps coming towards him. Immediately, Firey assumed it was Coiny, his long-standing rival since who knows when, coming here to make fun of him yet again.

He was the only one who ever really talked to him and by “talking,” Firey really meant they just both made fun of each other and fought a lot. It was the only real relationship he had, even if it was far from friendship.

Well, Firey wasn’t really in the mood for yet another one of their slapping fights so he merely sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Coiny, I don’t have the time to fight you right now. So, why don’t you go hang out with Pin and-!”

He looked up as he said this but was surprised when he didn’t see the worthless penny in front of him. No, rather, it was a lemon leaf look at him with a cute smile as she waved.

“Hey there!” Her cheerful and joyful voice greeted him.

Firey paused, unsure of what to do next. He had never had someone walk up to him and say “hi” before. What was he supposed to do now? Say something to her? What was he going to say!?

The complete lack of interactions had made him confused by what to do here. Why was this girl talking to him? Did she want something?

“Uhhh, hey…?” Firey’s hesitant voice questioned, feeling unable to look at her directly in the eyes, avoiding her gaze.

“Whatcha doing there?” She asked, pointing down to his drawing, which he quickly hid behind him.

Firey felt embarrassed letting anyone see his work, especially some stranger whom he had never seen before. Where did she even come from? Well, that was a stupid question since Firey himself wasn’t too sure where he came from.

“Nothing!” He quickly spat out, hiding his drawing protectively as his eyes scanned her body up and down. She didn’t seem like a bad person or anything but Firey was naturally a bit skeptical.

Instead of being weirded out by the boy’s strange behavior, she instead found it amusing and giggled which only made Firey feel even more confused and embarrassed. Did he do something funny? Why was she laughing? Did she see him as a joke or something?

She smiled and took a seat beside him, causing Firey to scoot away from her slightly before speaking, “What do you want? What're you doing here?”

“Well, I saw you were by yourself and you looked lonely so I thought I should say hi!” She innocently responded, her voice as sweet as sugar.

Firey’s skepticism relaxed slightly with her admission, most likely because he was already getting desperate for some sort of positive interaction from someone. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“Oh… okay… What’s your name then?” Firey asked, his body relaxing.

“My name’s Leafy!” The lemon leaf exclaimed, smiling at him before raising her hand to gesture a handshake, “And yours?”

Weird. Leafy seemed new around here and genuinely curious about him. Oh well, she was probably gonna leave him and find her own friends soon enough, sending Firey back into the cold darkness.

“…Firey.” He mumbled.

Leafy stared at him for a few moments before smiling yet again. A sweet and gentle smile, one that seemed as bright as the sun. Firey couldn’t help but think her smile was kinda pretty.

She looked over at the drawing that was still behind his back and snatched it away before Firey could react and stop her.

“Hey-!” Firey stammered, trying to grab it back to avoid the potential embarrassment of Leafy making fun of his drawing. What if she thought it was cringey and poked fun at him for it!?

That’s why he never showed off his drawings; fear of embarrassment. At least most people didn’t talk to him so he could spend his time doodling and never have to worry about being interrupted.

To his surprise, Leafy didn’t immediately break out into laughter and belittle him for his artwork but instead looked thoroughly impressed as her eyes lit up as she stared at the drawing.

“Woah, you made this? It’s really good!” She earnestly complimented, making Firey’s face grow hot as he looked away. He wasn’t used to someone complimenting him and if sounding so… authentic. A sense of warmth covered his body as he blushed.

“Oh, umm, thanks…” Firey muttered, rubbing his arm awkwardly as the top of his head began to produce smoke, “It’s just a random drawing so…”

Leafy noticed it and giggled yet again, pointing out the physical representation of his embarrassment, “Umm, the top of your head is smoking, you know.”

Firey looked up in confusion to see that Leafy was right. He let out a shocked gasp as he tried to brush away the smoke. Sometimes, he hated that he was a sentient flame, since it meant that if his body overheated, then it would become very obvious to everyone around him.

As he desperately tried to remove the smoke, Leafy couldn’t stop laughing, finding some sense of amusement in his reactions.

“Aww, are you embarrassed?” Leafy chuckled as Firey glared at her, still blushing heavily.

“N-No! Shut up!” He fired back, trying to drown out his feelings of self-consciousness with annoyance.

She laughed again, finding his reactions amusing which only served to further frustrate Firey. He hated being embarrassed! It made him feel exposed and vulnerable when those were the last things he ever wanted to feel.

But, this wasn’t so bad. It was at least better than arguing with Coiny. This girl wasn’t that bad.

“You don’t have to be so shy, you know?” Leafy pointed out, “But, I guess you do look a little funny when you’re embarrassed.”

“I am not!” Firey scowled, glaring at the girl with annoyance, “I’m not shy… I’m just… not used to talking to people.” He mumbled, looking a bit upset.

Suddenly, Leafy’s teasing demeanor dropped and was swiftly replaced by a look of concern as she turned towards him, “Huh? Why’s that?”

“…No one talks to me here. I don’t even have any friends…” Firey muttered, huffing as he scoffed, “Not like I care or anything but… Whatever, it’s st-!”

“How about I become your friend then?” Leafy asked, cutting through his remark which made Firey look at her with a confused expression.

Be his friend? Why? Why would she want to be his friend? Had he done something to earn the idea of gaining a friend?

“…Why would you do that?” The boy asked, unsure as to why she would ever want to be his friend.

“Why not?” Leafy countered with that innocent tone of hers.

Weird. This was weird. She wanted to be his friend just because she could? That didn’t make sense. Leafy didn’t even know who he was. Why was she so quick to extend a hand? Did she want something? What was the play here?

There had to be some sort of justification or reason behind it. If people became friends with each other just because they could, then someone would have already become Firey’s friend.

His brain couldn’t comprehend the idea of having a true friendship without some sort of benefit behind it. A deep-seated sense of cynicism brought on by his past experiences.

Firey wanted to ask her to cut the crap, to just tell him why she really wanted to be his friend. Did she think he looked pathetic and pitied him enough to the point where she saw herself as some sort of hero to pull him out of the perceived darkness?

Stupid. Absolutely stupid. Firey was about to open his mouth to dismiss her when he felt that void again and rethought his actions. He didn’t actually know if Leafy was being honest or not. And if she was, then was pushing her away the best option?

Firey craved attention and acceptance, didn’t he? Did he want to go back to his onto form of connection being an antagonistic one with Coiny? Or did he want a potential chance at having a friend?

After giving a few moments of thought, Firey sighed and looked over at Leafy, “…Okay, we can be friends.”

Leafy’s smile got wider as she clapped excitedly and nodded her head. Despite his doubts, Firey had to admit that Leafy looked genuinely pleased with his decision.

“Yay! Let’s shake on it then, to make it official!” Leafy suggested, extending her hand towards him.

Firey looked at her hand with a hint of skepticism, still not fully sure if this was a good idea. But, he ultimately caved in and shook her hand, much to Leafy’s enjoyment.

The first thing he noticed was how soft her hands were. Perhaps a reflection of her sweet personality.

They pulled away and Firey was left confused. They were now friends but what now? He didn’t know what it was like to have a friend and therefore had zero knowledge of what friends do.

Should they talk? And if so, about what? He didn’t know what she was into. Did they even have anything in common?

Before he could ask her what they should do now, he heard a familiar yet obnoxious voice.

“Ooh, looks like Firey’s got a girlfriend!”

Firey growled as he turned around to see Coiny, his adversary. He and Coiny never seemed to get along with each other and no one knew why. Firey himself didn’t know and he assumed Coiny was the same way.

The only thing they both knew was that they didn’t like each other and seemed to bring out the worst in each other.

“Shut up, Coiny! She’s not my girlfriend! And stuff like that’s gross anyway!” Firey retorted, feeling a sense of disgust at the idea of “romance.”

Bleh! Firey didn’t believe in any of that “falling in love,” crap. Sounded just like a bunch of garbage to him. Stuff like that would never happen to him, especially not with Leafy.

Coiny only rolled his eyes in response as he kept his hands on his hips. A mischievous grin grew on his lips as he continued to taunt Firey.

“Yeah, yeah…” He dismissively replied, “So, when are you gonna ask her to marry you?”

Okay, now Firey was really peeved off. He stood up and got right into Coiny’s face, anger seething within him as he scowled.

“I’m telling you to shut up!” He demanded, giving Coiny one last chance to back down before a fight broke out.

“Oh, yeah? Make me!” Coiny retorted, sticking out his tongue before running away. Firey took the bait and started to chase after him, looking furious which only made Coiny laugh more.

Leafy watched as her newfound friend chased his rival all over the area, thinking to herself that this was going to be the start of a very interesting friendship.

Firey sighed as the memory inside of his head ended. He wondered why he had to remember something like that now. Their first meeting and the start of their… more than complicated friendship.

He was starting to see why Leafy longed for those days. So much more simpler times compared to all that happened now. At least back then, Firey wasn’t currently fighting a mental war with himself over what was the best course of action to take with Leafy.

What should he do? Tell Leafy the truth about what happened during IDFB? How could he tell her? Start up a conversation and say, “Hey, so, you know how everyone hates you? Well, they might have liked you if it wasn’t me for spreading rumors about you and tarnishing your reputation so badly to where everyone will probably never accept you again!”

Yeah, that was a really good way to get Leafy absolutely furious at him and completely ruin any chances of rebuilding their relationship. She would undoubtedly hate him.

Firey couldn’t tell her and yet he wanted to. Just being next to her and holding her hand was fueling the guilt that was eating him up inside.

Guilt; described as a moral emotion when someone believes or realizes that they have violated their own moral values and acted in a way that may have caused hurt or pain to another person.

He hurt her. He hurt Leafy badly. She was already struggling to forgive him for everything else, so how would she react if he revealed that there’s actually even more conflict in their relationship?

A constant struggle, a back and forth between himself over telling her and just keeping quiet about it. Maybe the guilt would go away eventually? Perhaps one day, if he stopped thinking about it, he’d feel okay with pretending that everything was okay with them.

But, that would be nothing more than a hopeful lie. Firey knew deep down that he couldn’t keep this a secret forever. 

Regret; feeling sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has already happened and cannot be undone.

Gosh, what had he done? At the time, it seemed like a smart decision. Leafy was always still kinda hated, everyone would believe him and he’d be able to play the role of the victim by saying he only revived Leafy because he was scared of what she might do to him if he didn’t.

But now, it was probably the dumbest move he had ever done. All Firey all really wanted was friends, acceptance, and to feel like he belonged somewhere. And to do that, he took the chances of someone with that same desire getting the same thing he wanted away from her.

And he couldn’t do anything to fix it. Even if Firey did tell her, it’s not like it would undo what had already been done. Just telling her wouldn’t take away nor fix the trauma. Everyone wouldn’t just suddenly forgive her, like her and everything would turn back to normal like when they were younger.

And, despite the self-centeredness of his worries, Firey was also scared about what the others would think about him. How would they react if they found out that Firey lied and manipulated them for years just to keep his reputation intact?

Ha. Even now, Firey was still worried about himself more than anything. A deep-seated selfishness that just never seemed to leave him no matter how much he tried to get rid of it.

But then again, was it really a bad time to be worried about himself? Possibly but even so, most of the people who were a part of IDFB and not trapped in the TLC were over on Two’s show anyway.

Firey wondered how Ruby would react to all of this, seeing as she was a massive part of his background, whether she knew it or not. Well, he could try talking to her but then again, she was eliminated and was currently spinning around in a cage so she probably couldn’t even talk even if she wanted to.

Remorse; Deep regret or guilt over committing a wrongdoing.

A mix of guilt and regret was hitting Firey in waves. A constant struggle of emotions and differing opinions over what to do.

Guilt, regret, and remorse. Those were the emotions swirling around Firey’s head as he walked through the forest with Leafy, hand in hand, as they followed the co-host, X, to see Four.

Holding her hand only served to worsen Firey’s emotional turmoil. It made his stomach drop and do flips as he felt like he didn’t deserve this type of connection.

Why does he deserve to hold the hand of the girl whose life he ruined and was actively lying to?

Firey couldn’t even stand to look at her, for doing so would only make him wonder if he was being selfish in not telling Leafy the truth.

He screwed her over badly this time. Because of him, the chances of Leafy achieving her dream of getting her friends back and being accepted into the group were close to zero.

His other hand scratched the inside of his palm as he tried to calm down and not show Leafy his true feelings. Firey wanted to tell her but at the same time, he didn’t.

Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or is a threat.

Scared. He was scared of the consequences of his actions. Firey was always scared of having to accept any real sort of fault or mistakes he may have made. Stuff like that ruined his already fragile self-esteem which he desperately tried to keep intact by doing whatever it took to gain attention and affection.

The silence was horrible, since it meant all Firey had was his own thoughts, which were all urging him to be honest and get it off of his chest.

I have to tell her. I have to tell her. I have to tell Leafy what I did. No, I don’t want to. I really, really don’t want to. Does it have to be now? Oh, what would Leafy say? She’s gonna hate me, isn’t she?

The buzzing of his thoughts floated around in his brain like an incessant fly that couldn’t be swatted away. A mental war was going on inside of his head as he listed out the pros and cons of telling Leafy the truth.

Pros: I can stop feeling so awful. Leafy can know the truth. Maybe she’ll understand why I did it and forgive me. She deserves the truth.

Cons: She’ll hate me. She’ll never talk to me again. We’ll never be friends if I do. I love her so much and I don’t wanna hurt her.

A small part of him clung to the belief that it was possible that Leafy would forgive him but he was unsure. He thought about it the roles had been reversed and he was hated by everyone and had a chance to be accepted back into the group only for Leafy to lie about him and spread rumors about how awful of a person he was and getting everyone to despise his existence even more.

Yeah, if he could be honest, Firey would probably end up hating Leafy. Hence why he couldn’t tell her because he wanted her to like him. Firey wanted so much of Leafy’s affection and for her to view him in a positive light. He wanted to protect her and just see her smile once.

If he could have one motivator, it would be that. She didn’t have to fall for him or become his best friend again, even if he wanted both of those things to happen. Firey just wanted to see Leafy smile again. A genuine smile, not one of those fake ones she used to keep up the facade of being emotionally stable.

A smile and maybe a laugh or a small giggle. Just something that showed that Leafy felt genuinely happy. She had spent far too long being miserable and sad. Firey wanted her to never experience those feelings again. Just nothing but pure joy and happiness should be the only feelings she should feel.

Never again would he have to see those sad eyes, tainted by a bitter life that had been through so much hardship over the past decade. No more having to hide your true feelings behind smiles and forced positivity to make sure no one looks behind the curtain and witnesses how utterly confused and miserable you feel every day.

Just smiles and laughter from Leafy and Firey wanted to be the cause of that. If he could get her to give him a big, genuine smile, then he would be satisfied, for that’s what it meant to love someone. To put their happiness above your own and provide them with nothing but love and affection, a sense of warmth and security. Feeling like they belonged somewhere and that someone truly does care about their life and wants them to feel special.

His hand gripped hers a bit tighter as he stared lovingly at her from the corner of his eye. Leafy was so precious to him, so gentle and sweet. He wouldn’t mind staring at her like this, enjoying the sight of his beloved, his one and only, his precious, his sweetheart, and every other affectionate term he could use to describe her.

Firey couldn’t understand how anyone, even with his rumors, could hate Leafy. How did no one else see what he saw in her? Were they all blind or something? However, he supposed that this was a him thing and not everyone was in love with Leafy like he was.

Still, Leafy was practically perfect in his eyes and deserved so much love until she couldn’t take it anymore. Such an inherently lovable girl like her deserved the world! Just looking at her made him want to hug, kiss, and tell her how amazing she was and how much she meant to him.

…Wow, that was quite a bit. Guess Firey really was madly in love with Leafy.

Selfish: Lacking consideration for others and being greatly concerned with one’s own desires or pleasures.

Despite his overwhelming love for her, Firey felt utterly selfish for what he was doing. It’s not that he didn’t care about Leafy or felt like she didn’t deserve the truth but he was so focused on his own desires and what he wanted.

And he wanted Leafy. It was self-centered of him, he would admit that much, but it’s what he genuinely felt. Firey wanted Leafy so badly to where he was willing to do anything just to keep her close to him a little bit longer.

That same selfish desire still existed deep within Firey as he wished he could have all of Leafy’s time, love, attention, and affection. He wanted to be the one who supported her, who cared for her, who made her feel special and wanted. He wanted to be the only one who could do that.

His hand clenched her tightly as he wanted her to be this close to him all of the time. No, he wanted her to be closer, as close as she could get to him. An intense burning yearning for her was overwhelming his senses as he thought about how badly he wanted to be with her.

Firey wanted Leafy. He loved her. A true, genuine, and deep affection for her being tainted by their past. A sweet taste of unbridled fondness with a slight aftertaste of bitterness.

It was possible that he was only acting like this because it helped alleviate his own insecurities and self-doubt. If he could be honest, Firey wasn’t sure how much there was to him as a person.

Did he even have a personality? Why did people even like him? All for a prize he won and subsequently lost over a decade ago? Were any of his friends actually his friends?

At least being around Leafy helped him not think about that right now. But, if she was gone, he would have to deal with not only the fact that he had effectively pushed away the one person whom he adored more than anything but also that he would have to deal with everything that happened to him over the past decade.

In a way, he was similar to Leafy in that regard; both of them were broken people who didn’t know how to deal or cope with any of their problems for no one had ever shown them how. It’s no wonder why things turned out the way they did now.

They were both scared of being alone and having to deal with issues so they just ignored it all. Both of them were traumatized from a young age, with Leafy being abandoned in Yoyleland and Firey being locked up in a cage for over a year and losing everything he tried to keep together.

Two people struggling with their own issues and pretending that they weren’t.

Repression: The exclusion of distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings from the conscious mind and pushing it into the subconscious.

It was still so crazy to Firey that he had blocked out the memories of what happened in IDFB. Wasn’t that crazy? Being stuck in a tower and hated by people who he thought were his friends was so painful and too much for him to handle that his brain decided to just… put it away. To make sure Firey didn’t remember it and therefore didn’t have to deal with it.

An entire year’s or maybe two year’s worth of memories were just gone in a snap and completely forgotten about until now. Firey wondered why he had to remember those memories now. Did his brain perceive him as now being emotionally stable enough to work through that trauma? Because that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Remembering what happened and what he did to Leafy only added to his growing list of problems and he didn’t need to add any more. As if he didn’t already feel guilty for abandoning her when she needed him the most, now he also had to deal with the struggle over whether he should tell Leafy about what he did.

He wished he didn’t remember so they could just focus on rebuilding their friendship. Firey wouldn’t be having these, “Should I or should I not,” discussions since he wouldn’t have known about what happened in IDFB.

Perhaps it was inevitable. Maybe his brain wanted him to confront things head-on and deal with them. It was like putting a bandage around someone who lost a finger; sure, it helps but it doesn’t necessarily fix the core wound. Just like how repressing his memories helped him deal with things back then to get to where he was now but those distressing memories didn’t just go away and now he no longer had to deal with them anymore.

But the question was how to deal with that stuff. No one had ever taught him, no one else had really gone through the same thing so what was he expected to do? Ignoring it clearly wasn’t helping and caused all of this turmoil but admitting the truth would just end up causing even more chaos!

Why was he even bothering with any of this? It’s not like Firey could win an argument against himself.

Insecurity: Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.

Firey was honestly lost over what he should do. His inner critic was doing what it did best by telling him how awful of a person he was, how awful of a person he had always been.

Its words circulated around his mind.

Piece of shit. You’re an awful person. Selfish bastard. Even now, you’re only thinking about yourself. Don’t you care about Leafy? Why aren’t you telling her? You don’t deserve her anyway.

He tried not to listen to it, knowing it was nothing but his insecurities trying to get the better of him and drag him down but it was persistent. Venomous. It knew exactly where to strike to hit him the most because it was an extension of Firey himself.

You should just give up already. She’s never gonna love you. She’s probably thinking about all of the awful things you’ve done to her and how much she hates the fact that you’re still alive. You’ve always been a burden on her so why are you still around? Do you really think that she would say run into your arms if you told her that you loved her? Don’t kid yourself. She’d probably tell you that you’re delusional if you think she’d ever want to be with you.

Why would she want to spend her life with the same guy who kicked her out of enjoying Dream Island all because of a stupid Ferris wheel? The guy who saved her life and promised that all he cared about was her only to abandon her and left her to rot on Yoyleland. The same guy who tarnished her reputation and any chance of a normal life again. The same old horrible and toxic Firey. She’d be better off without you.

You really think she’d want to be with a liar? A manipulator? A whiny little brat? Someone who’s never aged out of being an immature child? A narcissist like you? Absolutely ridiculous.

And even if she did like you, how long do you think it would last? A few days? Maybe a week. Wouldn’t matter since it would go right back to how it was before; you two hating each other. You’re a toxic ticking time bomb, ready to explode and manipulate anyone in your way at any moment.

You can’t be anyone’s friend, especially not a good romantic partner. Every single relationship you have is either fake or toxic, because you’re a horrible person.

Gosh, Firey wished his inner critic would just shut the fuck up. He knew that he couldn’t give in to it. He knew that what he was hearing wasn’t true and it was just his brain picking the worst aspects of his character and amplifying them to the highest degree to make him seem worse than he was.

But, it was good at what it was doing to him. It really was starting to get under his skin and make him question if he truly deserved a second chance with Leafy. What if they were just chasing the past memories of their friendship and they changed too much in those years apart to ever replicate how things were like before?

Fortunately, his inner war with himself had to be put on hold as Leafy nudged his arm and whispered to him, “What do you think Four is gonna say?”

Firey groaned. He completely forgot they were on their way to see Four after kissing the entire challenge today. Seeing as Four was pretty unhinged and was known for having a slightly sadistic streak, Firey could only imagine that they weren’t gonna have a good time confronting him.

Well, if it came down to it, Firey would just take the blame for everything. It was his fault anyway. He was the one who asked Leary to see the surprise he had for her and then ate that rotten Yoyleberry that knocked him out, which ended up just wasting their time.

So, whatever punishment Four was gonna dish out, Firey would accept it, for Leafy’s sake.

“Umm, not sure. Gonna suck whatever it is.” Firey remarked, sighing as he shook his head.

“I think it’ll be alright, because whatever he’ll do, we’ll both have to deal with it,” Leafy stated, squeezing his hand affectionately which made Firey gulp.

Goddamnit. Stop being so selfless and just let me do this. You’re making this harder than it needs to be.

He didn’t reply as the two continued following X out of the forest. The sun was now starting to set, signifying the end of the day. A cool breeze began to set in as X coughed before he spoke.

“Uhh, if you guys don’t mind me asking, where the heck were you two!? Both of your teams got really worried when they saw you two were gone!” X exclaimed in his high-pitched voice, underlined with a genuine sense of concern.

It made sense, X was far nicer and more submissive than Four was. Unlike Four, who seemed to view his contestants as nothing but objects, like actual objects who didn’t have personalities and feelings, X seemed to be more interested in the gang and somewhat cared for them.

He himself was probably worried for their safety as well. But, they didn’t know how to answer his question. Firey never got to show Leafy what he had planned for her and saying that they came out here for no reason didn’t sound all that appealing.

“Umm, we got lost. We were… looking for… Yoyleberries! To bake a cake and we ended up getting lost. Silly us.” Firey nervously chuckled, hoping his lie would satisfy X.

“A cake? Why’d you guys wanna bake a cake?” X questioned, sounding confused as Leafy also looked befuddled while staring at Firey.

Firey mouthed out the words, “I don’t know,” and shrugged his shoulders as he continued fibbing, “We wanted to bake a cake for… our amazing co-hosts! You guys do so much work on this show and we wanted to thank you for keeping it going, even after Two took almost everyone and left!”

X let out a squeak of happiness as he smiled, “Oh! That’s so sweet of you two, but you don’t need to bake us a cake. I love working with Four on this show. So, uh, I wouldn’t suggest reminding them about the… split. He’s still a little salty about that-!”

He turned around to look at the pair and stopped as he noticed a peculiar sight; they were holding hands. This, by itself, wouldn’t be any cause for concern but the last X remembered, Leafy and Firey weren’t exactly on good terms. In fact, it was a little weird that they both agreed to go into the woods together, alone, with no one else there, to get supplies to bake a cake since Firey was ignoring Leafy and they fought quite a bit.

Wait a minute. Alone? Together? In the woods? For almost the entire day? And now they were holding hands?

Oh. That made way more sense than baking a cake! Firey was lying to him, wasn’t he?

X giggled as he smiled and kept walking, feeling a bit prideful that he managed to figure out the truth, “Oh, you guys, you don’t have to lie to me, you know? You could have just told me from the start! I wouldn’t have judged.”

Firey and Leafy shared a confused look.

“What are you talking about?” Leafy asked.

X stifled back a giggle as he spoke, “You two went out on a date, didn’t you? I didn’t know you two liked each other.”

Both of their eyes widened as Firey let out a startled gasp as he blushed a little bit, “What?!?”

The Algebralien chuckled to himself at the duo’s flustered reaction, “Yeah! That’s the real reason you guys were out here, wasn’t it?”

Firey’s face felt like it was on fire, even more so than usual as he stammered out a response. His feelings for Leafy weren’t THAT obvious, were they?!

“N-No! We were not! I-I was just… I mean I was… Leafy and I… Uhhh, I-I, ummm…” He stumbled, unable to come up with a convincing argument against X’s assumption. From his perspective, it did look like they snuck away from everyone else to enjoy some private time together.

“You don’t have to be so embarrassed, Firey. I promise I’ll keep it a secret.” X reassured, only serving to make Firey even more embarrassed.

“I DON’T LIKE LEAFY LIKE THAT!” Firey screeched, his face now caked with the visible signs of his embarrassment. An obvious lie that he would keep to himself.

X did not need to know about his long-standing crush on Leafy so he would just lie to the co-host’s face and hope that he would just believe him, even if he was giving him a million reasons to think the opposite.

He would have loved for it to have been true. Going on a date with Leafy sounded like a dream. But, they were barely even friends, only reaching the status of pals, and were nowhere near close enough to where Firey could confidently ask Leafy to go out with him.

Maybe one day he could ask her out on that date. Just walk up to her and confidently say, “Do you wanna go out with me?”

Firey could hear Leafy slightly giggle at his flustered reaction, which only made him even more embarrassed. It wasn’t a loud laugh or anything too notable, just a slight, “heh,” noise as she shook her head. 

Now she was laughing at him too?! How much worse could this get?

X smiled, “Well, all I’m saying is, you two would be pretty cute together. Even if I don’t get relationships and all of that other stuff, if it makes you happy then-!”

“Can we please not talk about this anymore?” Firey mumbled, the top of his head starting to smoke which only made him groan in annoyance.

X nodded in agreement as Leafy turned to face him, “That was pretty funny.”

“Funny?! X thinks that you and I are like… a thing, you know? Isn’t that a little embarrassing?” Firey exclaimed.

“Well, can you blame him? We kinda look like one…” Leafy pointed out, gesturing down to their handholding.

Firey groaned as he kept walking, silently thinking to himself how he wished they were an actual couple rather than simply looking the part. But, that stuff had to wait.

Eventually, they made it back to some familiar sightings and X pushed past a few bushes to reveal… the courthouse. It was still here?! Four should have gotten rid of this, shouldn’t he?

A chill ran down both of their spines as the memories of what happened that day came rushing back. The confrontation, Leafy’s breakdown, Firey’s guilt, and their conversation on the cliff. It felt so long ago but the memories were well fresh in their minds.

Their grips on each other’s hands got a bit tighter.

“Uhh, Four’s waiting for us inside. Come on.” X whimpered, his voice now being a drastic change from his usual warm and bubbly voice, replaced with a sense of unease and maybe even dread as the three of them walked closer to the courthouse.

Neither Firey nor Leafy wanted to be in this place. If anything, this was the last area they ever wanted to have to see again. But, they didn’t have much of a choice as X opened the door and they walked inside.

Four was sitting in the judge’s seat as he was yesterday, resting his cheek down on his hand while his other hand tapped against the desk, silently waiting for X to bring the troublemakers towards him.

X walked inside with Firey and Leafy close behind him and Four noticed them. His expression went from boredom to sarcastic annoyance as he scoffed.

“Well, well, well, look who it is, my very own contestants who didn’t even bother to show up today!” Four exclaimed, glaring down at the pair with those piercing eyes of his, “You two better have a good reason for completely missing today’s challenge!”

“Well, I, uhhh-!” Firey began to say before Four cut him off.

“Don’t care. Do I have to remind you two that you’re still on my show and you have to follow my rules? If you aren’t gonna focus on the competition, then you might have well gone ahead and joined that asshole Two’s show!” Four scoffed, before muttering something under their breath.

Firey could make out the words out, “Stupid Two… Stealing most of my contestants… Fucking asshole. Why’d you have to go make your own dumb “TPOT,” crap when I was still in the middle of BFB…”

Right, Four was still pretty bitter about losing more than half of their contestants to Two and it was likely still a sore spot for him. Firey felt a little bad, seeing how upsetting that would be to lose roughly fifty contestants.

At the same time though, Four did bring it upon himself. When you constantly kill everyone with absolutely no remorse and consistently treat them like crap, they tend not to like you. Why would anyone want to stick around with someone who seemingly wants to kill you for no other reason than they think it’s funny?

That wasn’t even mentioning that Two offered up unlimited power if you won their show and you could do pretty much whatever you wanted with no consequences. Who wouldn’t be swayed by the idea of gaining powers that allowed you to do whatever your heart wanted?

Between winning unlimited power and being with a host who actually seemed to care and value your existence and winning a BFB, something that even Firey himself was unsure of what it even was, along with a host who doesn’t care about you, the choice was pretty obvious for most contestants. It was honestly nothing short of a miracle that fourteen people even cared enough to compete in Four’s show and weren’t swayed by the seemingly godly opportunity.

Sure, it sucked for Four but then again, how much sympathy should Firey really offer?

Leafy sighed, “We’re really sorry, Four. It’s just that… We got a little distracted and lost and we couldn’t find our way back. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Four growled in annoyance, “Distracted doing what exactly?! What’s more important than participating in BFB?”

Firey and Leafy shared a look as Firey urged himself to speak up. He said he would take the blame for Leafy, didn’t he? Now was the time to prove to both Leafy and himself that he could do something for others and not just himself.

“It was me! It was my fault, Four! I wanted to show Leafy something cool I found and we ended up getting lost. Not her fault at all. Totally my bad.” Firey admitted.

Even if he said that, Firey hated those words coming out of his mouth. If he could list his top ten most hated things, taking responsibility for his actions would be an easy top three. It was hard for him to admit that he was wrong or did something wrong.

It was a mix of wanting to protect his own ego, as he spent so long with this image of self-importance that admitting his faults meant he wasn’t as great as he thought. That there was something wrong with him, a flaw that could be exposed and exploited.

That and not wanting to open himself up to criticism. A mistake meant that others could judge for it and big mistakes stick for a long time, if Leafy’s theft of Dream Island and her subsequent hatred for over a decade said anything. A mistake was an opening to being despised and as someone who was originally alone before gaining popularity among his peers, being hated was his worst fear.

Putting everything on Leafy would be so easy and slightly tempting but if what happened with IDFB and even with the diary incident taught him anything, it was that pinning things on Leafy never helped and only served to make things way worse than they needed to be.

This time was going to be different. No more running away. No more trying to deflect any faults he may have made. Firey was just going to have to accept the consequences of his actions.

Four scowled, “You seem to be full of mistakes lately, Firey! First, you stole Donut’s diary and then lied about it in court! If this was a real courthouse, I’d put you in jail for lying under the oath of law!”

The co-host continued, “And now, you’re off sneaking off into the woods because you wanted to ‘show Leafy something cool?’ That’s two strikes already! Or, I guess technically three but I’m counting it as two anyway! One more mistake and I’ll have to really punish you.”

Something was definitely off with Firey. What was up with this string of blunders that seemingly were following him? Four couldn’t understand it for the life of him but then again, as an alien who barely knew much about this world, that didn’t come off as a surprise to him.

Firey hung his head down low as Four scolded him like a disappointed parent. The worst thing was that Four was right to an extent. Firey had messed up twice now and he had to be a bit more careful with what he was doing. Something told him that getting a third strike and facing whatever punishment Four had planned for him wouldn’t be fun.

If being trapped in a cage and forced to spin around endlessly was what happened to eliminated contestants, then what would he do to Firey who merely was getting on his nerves? It definitely wasn’t going to be good, that was for sure.

Firey was now skating on very thin ice and needed to watch himself before he collapsed in the water.

“Okay, I got it. I’ll do better. Sorry, Four.” Firey mumbled.

Four groaned before scoffing, “Just remember, I got my eye on all of you. I’m always watching…”

Four then did the “Always watching you,” gesture before his partner spoke up, having stayed silent the entire time.

“Umm, that’s all for you two. You should hear back to your cabins now, it’s already pretty late. We’ll see you tomorrow.” X suggested.

Leafy gave a half-hearted wave goodbye as she mumbled, “Yeah, you’re right. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

The two Algebraliens watched the contestants leave. Firey and Leafy began to make their way towards the cabins, still walking hand in hand as Leafy looked over at Firey and spoke up.

“…You didn’t have to do that, you know.” She softly said, causing Firey to turn his head to look at her.

“Do what?”

“You know, saying how it was all your fault. I wanted to come along too and I also forgot about the challenge. You didn’t have to say it was all your fault.” She stated.

“I-It’s fine. Really. I was the one who asked you to come with me and I was the one who ate that rotten Yoyleberry and ended up passing out.” Firey responded, “If it wasn’t for me being an idiot, Four wouldn’t be so pissed off. Plus, I would have felt bad if you got in trouble for my sake.”

“Well, I get that but… I didn’t really like seeing Four chew you out like that. You… deserve better than that.” Leafy sighed, “It just didn’t sit right with me.”

A small smile twitched and edged on the corners of Firey’s lips as he tried to suppress it. He couldn’t outright show his happiness at the fact that Leafy was showing care for him and he wouldn’t say anything to her face but his thoughts were a much different story.

Oh my oxygen, she cares! Leafy cares! She’s worried about me! Isn’t that so sweet!? Leafy’s so cute and it’s so adorable that she’s worried! If only she knew it did for her! Yes! Yes! Yes! This is such a big win!

“Uhhh, really… it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it…” Firey said, trying to hold back a smile and a few giggles as if he were a child again.

He inched slightly closer to her, wishing he could just wrap his arm around her waist and have her exactly right next to him. An insatiable desire to get even closer to her was starting to overwhelm him as he began to fantasize about what it would be like if he could physically touch Leafy and not worry about immediately burning her to a crisp due to his nature as a flame.

Goddamnit, if only that Yoyleberry did work and turned him into metal. But, of course, because life hated him for some reason, it didn’t and he instead remembered the rumors he spread. A part of him that he had forgotten about and now was actively pushing away from his mind so he didn’t have to worry about whether he should tell Leafy or not.

Firey just wanted a nice moment with the woman he loved. Was that too much to ask for?

Leafy sighed as she shook her head. Even if Firey said it was okay and he chose to do it, she still felt a little guilty for making him take all of the blame for what happened. And now, Four was going to be waiting to see if Firey made another slip-up before the season was over to punish him.

He deserved better than that.

Her eyes looked up at the night sky, the sun now having finally set and the moon coming out to shine down on them. The stars twinkled brightly as Leafy thought about how beautiful it looked. A picture-perfect night sky.

The only time she ever paid attention to the stars was when she was stuck in Yoyleland and as painful as it was, stars always seemed to make the darkness of that place just a little more bearable.

“Tonight’s a pretty night, huh?” Leafy remarked, still focused on what was above her.

“…Not as pretty as you. You’re much more beautiful than a bunch of stars.” Firey softly remarked, only to blush and wince as Leafy turned to him with a confused look.

“Wait, what? Did you say something?” She questioned, only for Firey to start having a meltdown and curse himself for letting his feelings slip out and admit his true feelings in a stupid way.

“N-No! I said nothing! I didn’t say anything! You must have misheard me. Ahahaha…” Firey awkwardly stumbled, hating himself for not being able to handle this with more grace.

He gave her an unconvincing smile as Leafy just blinked rapidly and looked confused before shrugging it off with an, “O…kay?”

Firey internally cringed and wanted to slam his head against a wall. Stupid. That was so stupid of him to say. That was definitely way too much and way too soon. Things were so much easier when he was suppressing his emotions and not acknowledging his love for Leafy.

Ugh, what should he do now?

Tell her. Tell her the truth. Tell Leafy about what you did. Talk to her about IDFB. Tell her about the rumors.

Okay, maybe Firey should reframe his question; what should he do that wasn’t him committing social suicide and speedrunning his way to getting Leafy to hate his guts again? Because telling her about what he did was definitely not the way.

Firey would tell her eventually… just not tonight. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or anytime this week. Or this month. Or next month. Or this season. Or this year. He would wait for the right moment to fall into his lap and tell her then.

Deep down, he hoped that such a moment would never come. He knew that there was never gonna be a “right moment.” No matter when he told her, it was an inherently painful truth. Firey could never pick out a good moment where it wouldn’t hurt her at all. It was gonna sting no matter how he tried to spin it.

The best he could do and hope for was a “this will make the truth less painful,” type of moment. It wouldn’t suddenly make it okay to deal with but it wouldn’t be as bad as it could have been. He didn’t know how exactly to get that moment but it was the best thing he had.

It would be stupid of him to hope that he could ever pick the right words, circumstances, or setting to make the truth automatically painless. If he could, he would. He loved her and wanted to protect her from as much pain as he could.

He had to tell her, for if he didn’t, he would be just falling back to his own ways, just pushing everything to the side and trying to delay the inevitable.

He couldn’t avoid it. Leafy was undoubtedly going to figure out the truth one way or another. The longer he postponed telling her, the worse her reaction was gonna be. It was up to Firey to decide if her reaction was going to be of betrayal and disappointment or those two emotions added with a sense of being strung along and tripled.

But, telling her wasn’t exactly a net positive either. Every time he thought about telling her, the confession never sounded like it would make her feel better or at least make the pain worse.

“Leafy, I have something to tell you… I… Back in IDFB, uh, I wanted to forget you because of the whole “stealing Dream Island,” thing but I couldn’t because I felt guilty and I also realized I’m in love with you so I revived you and wanted to run away with you but Ruby caught us and I got trapped in a cage for over a year and everyone hated me and I couldn’t handle that so I lied and manipulated everyone into believing you threatened me and did all of these horrible things to me so they’d like me again and it’s because of me that you’ll probably never be liked again and why everyone still hates you.”

“In a nutshell, I’m a selfish dick who fucked with your reputation because everyone hated me for reviving you and I wanted them to like me again so I took advantage of them not liking you to make them think you manipulated me and made me revive you.”

It never mattered what exactly he said in his made-up scenarios as the end result always remained the same; Leafy being in shock and disbelief, Leafy being angry and betrayed, Leafy being sad and heartbroken, Leafy breaking off their friendship for good this time.

None of the scenarios in his mind led to Leafy being upset but ultimately forgiving him. Zero. All of them led to a “W-What? You’re… joking, right?” to a “Fuck you, Firey! You’re a piece of shit!” to “I can’t believe you would lie to me like this! How long did you know? Why didn’t you say anything?” to the dreaded words he didn’t want to hear.

“I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

Gosh, that would hurt the most. He finally had her back… somewhat, after years of being apart. His self-centered desire wouldn’t let him let her go. Firey wanted to keep her as close to him as possible, both physically and emotionally. He wasn’t willing to let her go.

Man, he wondered what Leafy would think if she heard him say that out loud. Would she think that he was possessive? No, it didn’t. Because being possessive would mean doing things like controlling Leafy and getting ungodly jealous if she talked to literally anyone else who could be perceived as a “threat.”

Uhh, for example, when Leafy was talking to Gelatin, it’s not like Firey lost his cool and got all up in Gelatin’s face, talking about how no one could talk to “his Leafy.”

He both cringed and laughed internally at the idea. Firey couldn’t even imagine himself in hypothetical situations acting like that. Having strong feelings for someone didn’t equal toxic relationships.

Firey’s brain was yet again trying to take small things about himself and exaggerate them to make him seem worse than he really was.

Right. His feelings were normal and healthy. He really did love Leafy. Everything she did made his heart race. He could barely even think straight when he was around her. Maybe this was just some game to her?

His thoughts were cut off by Leafy nudging his arm yet again and Firey realized that they now had to go their separate ways to make it back to the Have Nots and Have Cots’ cabins.

Did it really have to end? Even if it landed him in trouble with Four, Firey still got to hang out with Leafy today. It made him feel a bit nostalgic for how they used to play with each other as kids.

Leafy let go of his hand, taking the warmth with her as she sighed before turning to him, “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Firey.”

Firey nodded in agreement, “Yeah, uh, catch you later, Leafster.”

Leafy muttered out a soft, “Yeah,” before she began walking by herself. Firey wanted to ask her if he could walk with her, to make sure she was okay… and to also snatch some more private time with her but he was too nervous to say any of his desires out loud.

However, his eye fell upon a little white flower next to his foot. It looked majestic, wonderful, and as if he was looking at something special and once in a lifetime.

Just like Leafy.

Before he could stop himself, Firey found himself picking up the flower and running after Leafy, almost knocking into her before he thankfully stopped himself.

“Leafy! Before you go, um, here!” Firey said, holding out the flower in front of Leafy, gesturing for her to take it.

Leafy’s eyes widened at what Firey was doing and looked down at the flower before looking at Firey, who was now aware of what he was doing. And he regretted it dearly.

Goddamnit, what the hell was he doing!? It was like his mind was acting on its own and now he was offering Leafy the flower? She was gonna say no! Or think Firey was being weird! Or-!

“Oh, umm, that’s… sweet. But, what’re you giving me this for?” Leafy questioned.

“I-I, uhhh, I-I just thought that… I mean… the flower’s pretty and you’re pretty so… I-I mean… I just… Just take it!” Firey stammered, pushing the flower into Leafy’s arm as his lips trembled.

Leafy looked up at him as her confusion gradually melted away and she realized what he was trying to do. Well, that was cute.

She took the flower in her hand and held it close to her chest, “Uhh, thanks, Firey. This is really sweet of you.”

Firey merely awkwardly chuckled in response as he gave her a shy smile, “Uhhh, you’re welcome. I’ll, umm, I’ll go now! See you tomorrow!”

With that less-than-ideal way of leaving, Firey quickly scampered off, leaving Leafy to stare at him and sigh dreamily as she held the flower in her hands. A sweet gesture from a sweet guy.

And the sweeter he was, the more messy her feelings got. She was still struggling to trust Firey again but she would be lying if she said that him taking the fall for her wasn’t somewhat endearing. It made her feel a little guilty, as she felt that they both should have taken the punishment, not just one of them.

Regardless, any thoughts relating to Firey had to be put on hold as she was now at the moment she had been dreading for a while; seeing her teammates again. Ever since Gelatin told everyone about what she was really like and her having an open panic attack in front of them, she now had to face them once again.

This wasn’t going to be fun. Everyone was going to see her differently now, weren’t they? Instead of the annoyingly optimistic and happy facade she put on, she was now open and exposed as her true, much more damaged and depressed self.

She sighed. Leafy knew that Gelatin didn’t mean any harm by what he did. He was only trying to help in his own way and he did do that by forcing Leafy outside of her shell but it didn’t make the inevitable confrontation any less painful.

Leafy was scared about what they thought about her now. Did they think she was weak because she was now openly showing signs of struggling? Were they now gonna feel like they had to walk on eggshells around her, as if any small comment could potentially trigger a breakdown?

Maybe they now thought Leafy was some vulnerable little girl whom they needed to protect from any harm whatsoever. She didn’t want any of that. Leafy didn’t want to be babied or treated like she was constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown.

And most of all, she just didn’t want to be a burden on her team. She didn’t want them to feel like they constantly had to look out for her. That’s part of the reason why she kept up her facade for so long; she didn’t want to make her problems someone else’s.

She let out a breath as she walked to Have Cots’ cabin. A shaky hand went to grab the doorknob as Leafy reminded herself that it was gonna be fine and she didn’t need to worry.

She could handle this.

Leafy gently creaked open the door as if she were expecting something dangerous to pop out. She popped her head inside and saw Gelatin and Lollipop on the couch, with Lollipop reading a book as Gelatin watched her.

Teardrop was lying on her stomach on the floor, typing on her typewriter as she kicked her feet and shook her head back and forth. Bubble was sitting down on the table, nervously playing with her hands.

The moment Leafy walked into the room, everyone froze and looked up at her. It was just as she thought, everyone was looking at her but it was different now. Worried glances were shared across the room as the tension gripped at the remaining teammates.

Leafy could feel her body shake and her teeth chattered as she forced out a response, “H-Hey… guys? Uhhh, I’m back.”

No one said anything for a moment. She hated this. All of this unspoken tension. Everything had changed between them. At least with them being annoyed with her was better than them looking at her with those sad, pitiful eyes, as if to say, “We know you’re struggling.”

Why couldn’t they look at her like they had before? Why did they have to feel so bad for her? All of this newfound attention towards her was… strange and uncomfortable.

Eventually, Lollipop spoke up, coughing as she scratched the back of her head, “Uh, hey there, Leafy. We, umm, we haven’t seen you all day. Nice to see you’re alright.”

Fake. All of it. So fake. Lollipop wasn’t really all that concerned with Leafy being missing the entire day, she was just trying to keep everyone distracted from the massive elephant in the room. This wasn’t normal anymore, they couldn’t go back to how things were like before, and yet they wanted to pretend like they had a chance.

“Are you feeling okay, Leafy?” Bubble questioned, also giving her that awful sympathetic look, “You’re not… feeling sad, are you? Because, we… we wouldn’t like it if you were sad.”

Fake. Yet again. Leafy could see through it all. Maybe it was because she was used to faking her emotions but it was like a sixth sense to her; she could just feel how forced the question was.

On the surface, Bubble had just asked a normal question as a concerned teammate. But, to Leafy, she had essentially just asked her, “Hey, you aren’t thinking about killing yourself right now, are you? Because we would feel guilty and upset if you still wanted to do that.”

As if it were some passing phase and not something she struggled with for ten years now. She could tell that Bubble was concerned but she was far too scared to directly ask Leafy about any of that.

Maybe she was worried saying the word “suicide” or anything relating to that nature would trigger another panic attack from Leafy. That mentioning anything that was perceived as too sensitive for her to handle would result in Leafy spiraling and talking about how much she hated her life and being alive.

To be fair, it wasn’t just her; no one in this room wanted to talk about it even if they were all thinking about it. Guess it wasn’t just Leafy, everyone thought it was easier to push aside uncomfortable topics and pretend as if they simply didn’t exist.

It’s not that they were bad people or they didn’t care; they just didn’t know how to help or even deal with any of this. None of them knew what to say to Leafy or if she even wanted them to say anything in the first place. It was just easier to move on and act like what happened yesterday didn’t happen.

Maybe that’s how they all dealt with their problems; by ignoring and pushing it aside. If you don’t think about something long enough, then it’s bound to go away eventually, right? If you close your eyes and say everything is fine, then one day, maybe that lie will become true.

If they just don’t talk about Leafy’s mental health, then she’ll just get better on her own! And once she’s better and feeling fine and dandy, then everything will go back to normal and they’ll all live happily ever after. 

They wouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable and guilty anymore and they wouldn’t have to ever say anything directly about it to Leafy! They can all pat themselves on the back and say what a good job they did for doing absolutely nothing.

Bullshit. All of it. Leafy had told herself that she was fine way longer before any of them had even an inkling about her true feelings. And did all of that self-delusion make her feel better in the end? Absolutely not. All it did was waste time and make Leafy feel awful about herself and why she could say she was happy but never actually felt that way.

Why did stuff like this have to be so hard to talk about in the first place? No one seemed uncomfortable or awkward when talking about physical injuries. If you broke a leg, no one avoided the topic and they all wished you well and to get better. An injury on the physical body, an injury outside that everyone would see got addressed.

But the moment something was wrong with the mind. The moment that something was hurting on the inside, where no one else could see or feel it besides Leafy, suddenly it didn’t exist. Suddenly, it was just a phase. Suddenly, it doesn’t matter and cannot be spoken about at any cost.

Why was that? Didn’t those injuries matter too? What was really the big difference? Both could be treated, can’t they? Why did one of them have to be avoided while the other was acknowledged? Why was there this big radio silence about topics like this?

Why was it that it was so easy to fake those types of problems? You couldn’t easily fake having a broken bone, could you? Even if you tried, everyone would pick up on it eventually.

But, all Leafy had to do was put on a smile, and suddenly everything was fine. She could easily fake it as much as she wanted and it hurt.

The only way it would matter is if that internal pain led to Leafy expressing it physically and it caused harm to her body.

Ah, maybe she was being unfair to her teammates. Like she said, they weren’t bad people. Perhaps she was just projecting her own insecurities onto the four remaining Have Cots.

At the core of it, Leafy was scared of one thing; what if they thought she was no longer one of them? What if they thought Leafy was no longer “normal.” Or what if they were thinking that Leafy should have just kept her mouth shut to keep things from being awkward? That her issues were things to deal with in her own head, by herself, and never spoke about.

Leafy was no longer normal, was she? They were never going to look at her the same way again. They were going to see her as an outsider, a freak, a weirdo who wanted to die for attention, huh? She was now a burden to them, someone who they now needed to accommodate so she didn’t have a freakout.

Leafy wasn’t normal. She would never be normal again. The others were so lucky, weren’t they? They were normal! They got to live happy lives full of friends who cared about them. They were always gonna be seen as normal, for they didn’t want to kill themselves.

Leafy was not normal. Not normal. Not normal. Not normal. Not normal. Not normal. Not normal. Not normal. Not normal. Not. Normal. Not-!

“Hey, uh, Leafy, you wanna take a seat? You’ve been out all day, you gotta be a little tired.” Gelatin stated, interrupting Leafy and preventing her from spiraling into further.

Right. Gelatin was… he was trying to help. His words served as a silent encouragement for Leafy to calm down and take a break from her increasingly anxiety-filled thoughts. Maybe he could tell what she was thinking or just took a guess but Leafy wanted to interpret it as him helping her.

“Y-Yeah, you’re right,” Leafy remarked as she walked towards the couch, trying to ignore the fact that Teardrop and Bubble both kept watching her as she did so.

Leafy plopped down on the couch and her body immediately relaxed. Gelatin was right, she had been out for a while and suddenly felt exhausted. Her eyes fluttered for a moment as she nuzzled herself into the furniture to feel more comfortable, as if it were even physically in this situation.

Gelatin’s hand touched hers for a moment which helped her to relax. Despite his joking nature most of the time, he seemed pretty sincere and genuine when it came to her. He gazed up at her for a moment or two before speaking.

“So, uh, how was your day? Must have done something pretty fun if you were gone the entire day.” Gelatin questioned, his voice warm and gentle.

Leafy looked to the side and crossed her arms, “It was fine… I-I’m, umm, I’m sorry about missing the challenge today. Completely slipped my mind. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s… fine. You don’t have to worry about it. Really, I think you got lucky, since you weren’t forced to wear one of Flower’s horrible sweaters she made for us.” Lollipop remarked.

Leafy cocked her eyebrow, “Sweater?”

“O-Oh, yeah, um, Flower made us these sweaters today. A couple for our team and a couple for hers.” Bubble stated, “Since we couldn’t find you, Flower wrapped it up and told us to give it to you as a gift.”

Leafy was now even more confused and slightly intrigued. Flower had never been the… nicest person in the past. Actually, that was far too light of a term to use. Flower in the past could only be described as a pure devil spawn who seemingly only had one purpose in life; to cause as much trouble as she could.

Of course, that was nearly ten years ago and people change a lot in a decade. Flower had somewhat begun to mellow out during BFB and even after its split. So, it wasn’t all that shocking that she was doing something nice.

It was just surprising that she was doing something nice for Leafy.

“Oh, did she? That’s, uh, that’s nice of her. Where is it?”

“We left it in your room. Although, I’m not sure how much you’re gonna like it. If you ask me, that woman has absolutely no fashion sense.” Lollipop commented, rolling her eyes.

“I see… That’s nice of her to do…” Leafy muttered, putting the flower that Firey had given her down on the table to rest her arms.

Gelatin looked down at the flower and then back to Leafy. “Who gave you that?”

“Oh, umm, the flower? Uhhh, Firey gave it to me…” Leafy mumbled, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she stared fondly at the gift.

She was snapped out of her dreamy gaze as she heard Gelatin suppress a chuckle. She turned to him and saw him with a big dumb grin on his face as he smirked at her.

“Oh, I see… Well, nice to know you had a blast hanging out with your boyfriend~!” He teased, his voice growing mischievous.

“My what!?” Leafy sputtered out, having to do a double-take to make sure she didn’t mishear Gelatin, “F-Firey’s not my… I mean I… He… It’s not like that!”

Despite her words, Gelatin didn’t seem to be all that convinced as he rolled his eyes and smiled more, “Sure, sure… So, did he kiss you after giving you that flower?”

“Gelatin!” Leafy exclaimed, glaring at him until she heard someone else suppress a giggle. Her eyes glanced over at Lollipop, who was still focused on her book.

Or at least, she was pretending to be as Leafy saw her trying her best to not smile and remain in a neutral position. It didn’t work as Leafy noticed the corners of her lips slightly edge upwards and she looked amused at what was going on.

“You too, Lollipop!?” The lemon leaf asked, only for the purple sweet to shrug her shoulders.

“None of my business. If that’s what you want, then I’m not here to stop you… even if there are way better options than that flame.” Lollipop remarked, flipping a page.

“Guys! Stop! It’s really not like that…” Leafy mumbled, groaning as she looked down at the white floor that laid on the table.

“Alright, whatever you say… even though it’s super obvious you’re crushing on Firey.” Gelatin teased, giggling as Leafy playfully shoved his shoulder.

“Whatever,” Leafy replied, rolling her eyes, “Well, I am a bit tired so I think I’ll head to bed. See you guys tomorrow.”

Bubble, Gelatin, and Lollipop all said goodbye to her while Teardrop merely waved. Leafy got off of the couch and grabbed the flower before heading to her room, passing by Ruby and Balloony’s rooms.

She wondered what her eliminated teammates would have said if they were here and knew about her struggles. Would Balloony even care? Hard to say considering the “Balloony killer,” incident.

It was just an accident! Leafy didn’t mean to inflate him until he blew up! She apologized for that, didn’t she?

And Ruby, her ecstatic and hyperactive teammate. Leafy wasn’t all that close to her, seeing as Ruby only joined the gang in BFDIA and Leafy was… elsewhere during that time.

Maybe Leafy should go talk to her after the season and find out more about her. Like, what happened in BFDIA and IDFB. She couldn’t really remember much about the long period of no competition and those years seemed to slip past her mind.

Eh, they probably weren’t that important anyway.

Leafy opened her bedroom door, and walked over to her bed, and sat down, twirling the flower in her hands. It definitely was a pretty thing to look at.

She clutched it close to her chest, making her heart feel warm as she swooned a bit. Having something like this really did make her feel special. Firey was so sweet and cute.

Thank goodness no one else was in the room with her right now. Leafy couldn’t imagine the embarrassment if someone saw her acting like a lovestruck teenager swooning over a gift she got.

She grabbed the flower and walked over to her counter where she grabbed a cup and headed over to her bathroom, filling up the cup with water before setting it down near her bed.

Leafy laid down and simply stared at the plant, kicking her feet in the air as she looked at the flower. She rested her cheek on her hand as she groaned. His words replayed in her mind, as if they were a constant and never-ending loop.

“The flower’s pretty and you’re pretty so…”

She tried to push Firey’s words aside, trying to downplay how much it was making her heart race and how warm it made her cheeks. Her breathing grew heavy as she reflected on the day and how much time they spent together.

He complimented her, they held hands, and he even took on Four’s wrath for her sake. It seemed like just being around him was making her more charmed by him by the second. A dorky idiot who was starting to worm his way into her heart.

“Ah, Firey…” She breathed out, still gazing at his gift.

Her eyes wandered to the wrapped-up gift near her bed. She thought about taking it but ended up shrugging it off, telling herself that it was already late and she could see the sweater Flower made for her some other time.

Leafy’s eyes gradually fluttered as she yawned before closing her eyes and nuzzling herself into bed, a faint hint of a smile on her face.

In the Have Nots’ cabin, Firey was in his room, staring at the photo of Leafy and Firey when they were younger. He gazed upon them for a few moments before sighing.

When he had gotten back, his teammates weren’t too happy with him. Not only did he completely skip today’s challenge but because of his lie and failed attempt to blame Leafy for stealing Donut’s diary, their team was up for elimination.

“Firey, man, what the hell? Why the fuck would you do that?” Blocky asked him, looking annoyed.

Firey didn’t feel like answering that question so he just ignored him and left for his room. Explaining why he did it would mean explaining a lot about the past and even Firey himself wasn’t too sure if he could adequately address every single part.

It didn’t make it any better though. Not much enjoyable in hearing your team rant to you about how you messed up and how whoever gets eliminated will be all your fault and how they’re all upset with you over a seemingly stupid and selfish action.

Great.

It stung but what else was he really expecting? From their eyes, Firey stole Donut’s diary, lied about it yesterday in court, then came back after some sort of confrontation with Leafy and basically insulted them all about blaming Leafy even though he had done the same not even fifteen minutes prior.

Hypocritical, wasn’t it? They were only going off of his word that he swore up and down was the truth. And then he proceeded to go, “Actually, I lied. I stole the diary,” and left them.

And then, he finally admitted the truth, ran off, and then spent the entire day today fucking off with Leafy. And the worst part? He couldn’t even tell them why. Of course, it made him seem like some entitled asshole who was just doing as he pleased with no care in the world for anything else.

It was no surprise that they were a little more than peeved off with him.

But, what was he going to tell them? That he did it because… reasons that he wasn’t sure how to explain? Because of issues stemming back all the way from ten years ago? Firey could barely explain it to himself, let alone explain it to other people.

But, because they didn’t know, from that point of view, Firey looked like he was actively screwing his own team over for his own sake, which wasn’t too far from the truth. Still, now he had both Four and the rest of Have Not breathing down his neck.

His fear was becoming a reality; that lingering sense of resentment because he had made a mistake. Actually, it was because he made two big mistakes.

It stung but it was fine. Today was a pretty enjoyable day so even if they were upset at him for the time being, it wasn’t enough to bring down his mood.

The only thing that did put a damper on his smile was the lingering regret over not being honest with Leafy about IDFB. That revelation was still weighing heavily down on his mind, like an anchor attached to a ship.

He was going to tell her. He knew he had to. Just… not anything soon. One day but not today.

Firey took a seat on his bed, sighing yet again. He couldn’t wait for BFB to just end already. If he could be honest, hanging out with Leafy today was more interesting than the entirety of the show so far.

Why did any of them even care about competing anymore? Weren’t they all bored of it? Didn’t it become tedious after a while? Some of them had been doing this for about a decade and they still found enjoyment in it.

Weirdly enough, despite the pain from that time, IDFB was probably one of the more exciting times for Firey, because it meant a break from competitions, even if it was for a short while. All of that stuff could be over and they could just live normal lives.

Hopefully, they could all go back to having normal lives and fun together without worrying about who’s getting eliminated next. Because, at this point in his life, Firey just didn’t care anymore.

BFDI was fun. BFDIA was fun. BFB just… kinda existed. Firey was a fan favorite but it felt more like he was just running through the motions. There wasn’t much thrill nor purpose in doing any of this anymore.

He would never say this to Four’s face but honestly? Fuck BFB. Staying on this show, joining TPOT, what was the point? They were all the same, weren’t they? Just challenges and eliminations until someone wins and then the cycle repeats. The only real difference was who was hosting them and the prizes that could be won.

But, none of them really meant anything, did it? Winning a BFB or unlimited power didn’t make life more exciting. Weren’t there any other things everyone wanted to do? Did they ever think for a moment what they really wanted to do with their lives that wasn’t just winning a dumb prize that wasn’t even worth it?

Was this really what their lives had been reduced to? Endless competitions by different hosts? BFB and TPOT, being seasons four and five of BFDI, were nothing but mindless competition for someone’s entertainment.

And, what if they didn’t stop here? What if they had to continue again and again and again? Did they have to come back for a season six? A season seven? A season eight? How many more characters needed to be brought in? How much longer did they have to do this for? What would it take to satisfy people?

Firey made up his mind; once BFB was over, he was going somewhere far away from competing.

Anyway, Firey had been up for far too long anyway, it was about time he went to bed. He laid his head down and yawned, telling himself one thing.

“…I’ll tell her… tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

Nothing. When you go to sleep, nothing really happens. You feel nothing, you’re aware of nothing, and your mind feels like nothing. Oddly, that’s what dying felt like to Leafy. It was like she was simply falling asleep and woke up when she was revived.

Dying was like sleeping and being revived was like waking up from a bad dream. If Leafy could explain how death felt like, it would be like that. An empty abyss of pure nothingness, trapped between conscious and unconscious. It was like she was aware of her own death and yet confused and disoriented about it as well.

If she could be honest, dying was a little scary. It never lasted for too long since someone would always revive soon after. Although, Leafy could never really pinpoint how long she was dead before coming back to life.

It could range anywhere from thirty seconds to ten years and she’d be none the wiser. It all blurred together which made it impossible to determine for sure how long she was no longer a part of this world.

Just like when Gelatin crushed her with a hammer during BFDIA. She was dead and to everyone else, she had been dead for roughly three or so years but to her, it had been more like a few seconds.

The one thing she did remember was the pain, the agony of death. Sometimes, it was relatively quick and painless. Just one second of pain before she was thrust into the darkness and back into the light of her world.

Other times, she wasn’t so lucky. Sometimes, it burned and went on and on until her body couldn’t take it anymore and it collapsed in on itself. In those moments, just five minutes of pain felt like hours of being tortured, before the darkness took over and she came back to life to experience it all over again.

Death was scary but also peaceful in a way. When she died, nothing could hurt her anymore. There was no more pain, no more sorrow, or fear of getting hurt. There was just that pure, pitch-black, nothingness that swallowed her.

Maybe that’s why a part of her wanted to die. Dying seemed like such an easy way out of everything. She wanted it to be permanent. A permanent way out to not have to worry about any more pain or suffering.

Leafy felt protected but also horrified. She didn’t like dying. She liked living and experiencing life. The absence of pain was a good thing but it also meant an absence of everything, good or bad. When there was nothing, there was actually nothing. 

Life, as horrible and cruel as it could get, at least had something to offer, something that wasn’t silent and the lack of even having the privilege to think.

What a strange feeling, wasn’t it? Wanting something you knew was bad for you but you couldn’t help it anyway. Being scared of something that you desired but at the same time, you didn’t. That was a bit of a common trend with Leafy, two conflicting emotions that never made sense no matter how you tried to spin it.

Ah, how Leafy wished things could make sense. She wanted everything to click into place and be simple. Maybe that’s why she thought about death so often. It made sense. She was dead and could do nothing. 

Nothing could hurt her anymore and she was left by herself. That made sense. Her feelings, however, were far more complicated than, “She felt sad sometimes.”

She sighed as she blinked herself awake. Death was like sleeping and waking up was like being alive. Leafy was now alive. Awake. She was now awake.

Leafy yawned as she sucked in some air. Today was a new day, a new chance to… exist and do things. What a basic statement but it was better than lying to herself about how the day was going to go.

Things felt different today. And dare she say it, but things felt like they might become better. A small spark of optimism was spreading throughout her body. A genuine sense of hope.

Her eyes fixated themselves on the flower. It looked just as pretty as it was the night before. Leafy’s mind began to wander as she thought about Firey. She wondered what he was doing right about now. Hopefully, he was doing okay.

Firey was far from being okay. He couldn’t sleep at all last night, his mind was still reeling from the repressed memories of IDFB coming back to him. With everything from his feelings to his capture and lock-up to spreading rumors about Leafy and obliterating her reputation.

He tossed and turned all night, unable to calm his racing mind. He felt bad for not telling Leafy what happened. Firey wanted to, he really did but his fear was holding him back. They had just now slowly started to be friends again and now he had to tell her something that would undoubtedly ruin it all.

Hence why he was here, sitting at his desk without getting a wink of sleep. Crumpled-up papers were all around him as he groaned. Because the guilt was still eating him up, Firey decided to just write a note about what happened to alleviate some of that shame and stress.

Maybe he was hoping for some release. As if confessing, even if it was only to himself, would somehow make him feel better. But, nothing ever came out right. All of it sounded like shit. None of it really felt like it was an authentic way of apologizing for what happened.

“Hey, Leafy, it might seem crazy what I’m about to say but I kinda fell in love with you during IDFB and I felt really bad for abandoning you so I tried to revive you.”

Shit.

“So, I dunno how to say this but I kinda spread rumors about how much of an awful person you are because I was trapped in a cage dangling over a tower for a year because I revived you because I’m in love with you and I wanted us to run away together but…”

Yet again, shit.

“Leafy, I want you to know that I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really… Oh, this is so fucking stupid.”

Gah! It was like Firey was trying to tell a story but it was all coming out disjointed and disconnected. He was talking about three different things and didn’t know how to put them together in a way that made any sense.

There goes any chance of becoming an author, huh? He wanted to speak from his heart but he wasn’t even sure what his heart wanted. Firey wanted to tell Leafy. Firey doesn’t want to tell Leafy. Two conflicting motivations that Firey couldn’t fully commit to.

Why were emotions so weird? Couldn’t things ever just make sense? It felt like he was hated by life itself sometimes, as if this was some sort of cosmic justice. It would be so easy if he could walk up to her, tell her what happened, and not feel immensely scared that he would ruin the chance of being her best friend again.

How could he go about and explain his feelings? The only words he could come up with were, “I’m sorry,” but apologizing wasn’t enough, was it? If saying two words fixed everything, then they would already be best friends again.

He sighed as he slammed his head against the desk, groaning as he heard his bedroom door begin to open. Firey looked from the corner of his eye to see Blocky, watching him as he leaned against the doorframe, eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms.

“You look like shit.”

A fair assessment to make. Firey did have yet another sleepless night. He had been stressed out since this whole “get Leafy to be my best friend again,” situation. He probably looked exhausted and like he was merely seconds away from collapsing.

“Wow, really, Blocky? I hadn’t noticed. Thanks so much.” Firey sarcastically replied, rolling his eyes.

Blocky took a moment to look around Firey’s room, seeing the crumpled-up papers everywhere. He wondered over what Firey had done all throughout the night. Judging by his looks, he likely hadn’t slept at all.

He noticed that one of the papers had the word, “Leafy.”

Figures. Firey was still obsessing over her. Didn’t he know that he had other things to focus on than one girl? Was he really that lovestruck? It made no sense! He hated Leafy, didn’t he? And yet it felt like all he did was make everything about her.

“Well, it’s not my fault you look like that. Did you spend the entire night writing love letters to Leafy, who’s apparently more important than showing up to challenges?” Blocky fired back.

“Oh… fuck off…” Firey mumbled, barely being able to keep his eyes open as they threatened to close, “That was yesterday… Just let it go.”

He was tired of all of this. All of the stress was really starting to get to him and Blocky criticizing him was not helping him relax at all.

“Oh? You want me to let it go? Well, I would love to if you actually talked to us. But, I guess you’re too focused on Leafy and fucking around with her that we’re just below you and you don’t have to talk to us, right? Believe it or not but you have actual shit to do, stuff that isn’t just being a creep about Leafy.” Blocky remarked.

“Shut up…” Firey tiredly replied, “I’m not “obsessed” with Leafy. It’s not like that…”

“Well, what is it then? Last I checked, I’m not a goddamn mind reader and neither is anyone else. You gotta tell us what’s been going on with you lately. Why are you so… weird?” Blocky questioned, “You’ve been so secretive and doing your own things.”

Firey wanted Blocky to stop talking around and leave him alone. He knew that Blocky had no clue why he was acting like this but it was too hard to explain everything to him. Couldn’t he see that he wasn’t in the mood to hear a rehashing of all of the flaws he already knew he had?

“Like what?” Firey absentmindedly asked.

Blocky scoffed as he glared at Firey, giving him a look that silently asked him if he was being serious. It was like Blocky couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Like what? Well, you stole Donut’s diary for no real fucking reason even though you knew all of us wanted to see it, made us do some dumbass court trial, lied to everyone, and got us up for elimination.” Blocky stated, counting off the list of Firey’s mistakes on his fingers.

Firey’s blood was beginning to boil. That was not what happened at all! Well, to an extent, it was but Blocky had it all wrong! Who was he to criticize himself when Firey was already pretty good at doing that to himself already? He didn’t need to hear this shit.

“You also spent the entire day yesterday hanging out with Leafy instead of competing with the challenge with us. And when you come back after being who knows where all day, what do you do? Do you apologize? Do you even tell us what happened? No! You go to your room and act like we don’t even exist.”

Firey’s face scrunched up as his hands gripped his knees. He glared at Blocky as his feet tapped against the floor aggressively. He didn’t like to hear this. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t need to hear this. Firey knew about all his flaws! It was the only thing he really thought about nowadays.

He was starting to get heated up, just wanting Blocky to shut up already. His fuse was already lit and Blocky’s comments were only growing the fire inside of him.

“Seriously! Leafy isn’t what matters here! You gotta deal with this dumbass crush of yours because it’s fucking the rest of us up. I’m not gonna have us lose because you wanna act like a lovesick puppy dog.” Blocky barked, “You wanna go all goo-goo eyes for her? Do it on your own time.”

He continued, “Or, I guess all of the time is your time nowadays since we just don’t matter to you anymore and you can do whatever you want because you’re Firey, right? You’re the fan-favorite, the star of the show and the rest of us are just NPCs getting in your way. You’re so much better and more special than the rest of us so you can go do whatever makes your little heart happy. Who cares what we want or think, right? Only you matter. We’re just assholes getting in your way, aren’t we?”

Hot. Firey felt hot. He couldn’t stop shaking, the rage boiling over. He hated this. Hated hearing any of this crap. Blocky had it all wrong! And even if he was right about some things, Firey just didn’t wanna hear it. How the hell could Blocky just stand here and shit all over him without even knowing the full story?

“You’ve been acting like such a weirdly selfish prick lately and you won’t even talk to us! For some fucking reason, you just wanna do whatever the hell you want and say fuck all to everyone else! Why do we not exist to you anymore, Firey? Why won’t you just talk to us?” Blocky spat out, “Why are you such a fucking selfish dumbass?”

Something snapped. No, rather, it exploded. An intense heat washed over Firey as he blew up with frustration. Everything that had happened over the past two days, with Leafy, with Four, with his past, with the Have Nots, with BFB, with just his life in general has finally taken a toll on him.

“Okay! Shut the fuck up! Just fucking shut up, Blocky! I get it! I get it, okay!? I’m a selfish dick. You don’t have to fucking rub it in!” Firey thundered, exploding with rage as he glared daggers at the red cube, “Can’t you see I already fucking get it?!”

Blocky’s eyes widened at his explosive response, not expecting Firey to get so angry. He has never seen him become so enraged before. Firey got up from his chair and started to stomp towards Blocky, seething with rage.

“And as if I need a goddamn lecture from a sadistic fuck like you! You’re the last person who should be trying me shit about “responsibility” when all you do is run away from your problems! You never seem to have any fucking clue about what you’re doing because you’re fucking useless to everyone and don’t help with shit! You’re a worthless piece of shit, I hope you know that! I don’t need to tell you shit because you wouldn’t fucking care!”

Blocky started to back up as Firey got closer. He didn’t know what he should say to calm Firey down. Hell, he didn’t know if he could calm Firey down.

“So, fine! You want to know what I really think? You wanna hear my true feelings? I think I fucking hate you, I hate Four, I hate BFB, and I don’t give two shits about this shitty team, and if we all fucking lose! All of you are assholes and you can go fuck yourselves!” Firey shouted, now completely engulfed by his anger and shoving Blocky out of his room and back into the hall, “Fuck off and never talk to me again!”

Firey slammed the door shut and locked it before Blocky even had a chance to react. He stood there, watching the door as he muttered swear words under his breath. Blocky was such an asshole. Who was he to come in and criticize Firey?

Although, maybe Firey was being a little too harsh. Did Blocky really deserve to be spoken to like that? He sighed as he realized what exactly he just said to Blocky. A wave of regret washed over him as he realized how badly he just messed up.

“…Shit.”

Ugh, why did he let his emotions get the better of him? He wanted to stop fighting with everyone and make up with his team. But instead, he just told Blocky that he was a horrible person and he hates him. That definitely wasn’t gonna fix the tension between them. If anything, Firey just made it worse.

Blocky wasn’t even all that wrong on his points. Firey had been acting out of his own self-interest and not telling anyone about his true feelings, which just made him seem worse in their eyes. Everything he said to Blocky was nothing more than him projecting onto him. He went far beyond just being angry with Blocky, calling him worthless and saying how he was a burden to everyone; things that Firey thought about himself.

If he could be honest, Firey wasn’t even all that mad at Blocky himself. He did nothing but serve as an outlet for his pent-up rage all stemming from his internal conflict and the stress he’d been put under this entire time. Firey was more upset at everything that happened than at Blocky or the other Have Notters. He was so distraught and disappointed with how his life had turned out to this point that he blew up.

From everything with Leafy to the constant competitions. It was all slowly sucking the life out of him. Firey just wanted everything to go back to normal and be okay. He didn’t want to fight with anyone anymore.

Everything felt like it was gradually spiraling out of his control. Honestly, Firey needed a break. Something to get his mind off of… everything. Just a few minutes where he wasn’t stressing about telling Leafy the truth, of anything with the rest of his team.

Gelatin. He needed to talk to Gelatin. His other best friend would know what to say, right? He was a pretty good listener and honestly the only person Firey had on his side right now. Gelatin was there for him during the beginning and they had been friends for a good while now, ever since BFDIA.

But, Gelatin was all the way in the Have Cots’ cabin, which meant Firey would have to leave his room and potentially run into one of his teammates to get all the way there, which, after his screaming match with Blocky, did not sound like a fun idea.

He’ll just have to do what he always does; hide away until his problems calm down a little bit so he can deal with them.

As for what the green jello was doing right now? Well, he was currently knocking on Leafy’s door over at the Have Cots’ cabin walking and stepping inside.

“Knock. Knock. Knock. You there? Too bad cause I’m coming in regardless!” Gelatin exclaimed as he opened the door to Leafy’s room, seeing her sitting on her bed, holding the box containing Flower’s gift.

Her eyes looked up to glance at him, “You don’t have to say the words ‘knock’ when you’re walking into my room, you know?”

“Well, how else would you know I’m coming in? Did you want to just walk in like a normal person? You’re so basic, Leafy.” Gelatin teased as he stepped closer to her.

Teasing. Jokes. A comedic relief. All things that Gelatin was known for. A great guy with an even better sense of humor. That’s all he was and those were the only things he was good at. Nothing else about him mattered.

He liked seeing people smile, even if it meant having to look more silly than he really was or having to downplay his own intelligence for the sake of a punchline.

It got a little bit tiring, he had to admit, going on day by day, being someone you’re not. Having to pretend like you’re some clueless, childish idiot who’s completely useless to everyone he meets and they all think he acts the way he does because he doesn’t know anything about what it’s like to be mature.

But, then again, why was he complaining? His opinions didn’t matter unless someone else was agreeing and validating those opinions. Plus, it wasn’t all bad; it was worth it if he could make someone smile.

Gelatin wanted to make Leafy smile. Or, at the very least, make her feel more comfortable with the rest of them. He knew that he messed up heavily in telling everyone about Leafy’s true feelings. Things like that shouldn’t be shared all willy-nilly, but in his defense, he was only trying to help.

Telling the others seemed like a good idea at the time. If he told everyone how Leafy was truly feeling, then they would all be nicer to her and wouldn’t unintentionally exacerbate her pain by treating her as they typically did.

Of course, he hadn’t thought about the potential repercussions of his actions, like Leafy having a full-blown panic attack from it. She likely didn’t want those things to be shared if her hiding her emotions from the rest of them meant anything.

He essentially pushed her out into the spotlight way before she was good and ready to do it on her own. A lingering sense of guilt was gnawing at him despite her forgiveness. That persistent feeling of being an awful person for making one mistake.

Maybe that’s why he became so drawn to Leafy after Firey told him what happened. It felt like he finally met someone else who knew that feeling. Someone who didn’t like themselves or the person they had become all that much. 

That feeling of being an actor, of putting on that glass mask in front of everyone so they don’t see who you really are. The mask is so lifelike and perfect that you almost want to believe that it’s real. And every day, you try your best to make sure you don’t drop it since once it falls, it breaks and once it breaks, your true self is exposed and you can’t go back to hiding.

You can pick up the shattered pieces as much as you want and try to glue it back together or make a new mask but it’s over. Everyone has seen you, the real you. The ugly, imperfect, flawed version of you, and now you’re scared that they hate it and you and you don’t know how to face your audience again.

But, if you can manage to survive the daily session of acting, then everything is fine and they can all go back to that routine.

And after a long day of acting and pretending, you’re finally alone and you can take off the mask and you’re upset. You’re mad at who you are and what you’ve become. You’re sad at how far you’ve let yourself fall from grace, from who you really are.

You want to break that mask, destroy it in half, and show everyone who you really are but you can’t because you know that deep down inside, you’re pathetic, scared, weak, and a spineless coward. So, you put it on your bedside, turn off the lights, hop into bed, and await your next session tomorrow.

Leafy’s mask was that of being happy and positive all of the time, and Gelatin had essentially torn it off of her face and smashed it into pieces in front of her.

Gelatin wanted to break his own mask but like he said, he couldn’t, for he was a scared little coward.

To make it up, Gelatin would focus on playing the act of a fool, a clown, a jokester. It’s not like anyone took him all that seriously anyway. This is who he was and who everyone thought he was. Nothing but a big old joke to laugh at. An airheaded goofball with nothing else to him but his silliness.

How… great. He didn’t need to be serious because no one liked people like that. People liked jokes, didn’t they? People loved to laugh so if he made others laugh, then people would love him! No more having to be alone. Who cared about him or his inventions? Him as a person doesn’t matter! What matters is what he can do for others to gain their validation and acceptance.

Of course! No one gave two shits about him or any of what he did unless he did something for them first. He made others laugh and in return, he got people to like him. What a great deal that he loved.

Totally. He… totally loved how his life had gotten up to this point.

Ah, what was he even saying? Silly him, this was about Leafy! What type of friend was he to go on and make this about him? A horrible one.

Coughing, Gelatin pointed to the box Leafy was holding, “So… Are you gonna open that or just stare at the wrapping paper? Wouldn’t blame you if you did, it is pretty nice to look at.”

“I’m opening it, I’m opening it,” Leafy replied as she began to tear away at the wrapping paper. She opened up the box and looked inside to see a greenish sweater with small light green dots all over it and two interlocked diamonds at the center.

Leafy held it up in the air as she turned it around, studying it. A look of hesitation washed over her face as she kept inspecting it, almost as if hoping that if she looked at it long enough, it would stop looking so ugly.

“Wow… this looks…” Leafy stammered, an awkward smile on her face as she searched for any sort of compliment she could give to this hideous thing.

“Really fucking ugly?” Gelatin said, finishing her sentence as Leafy shot him a disapproving look.

“Hey! That’s not nice, Gelatin!” She exclaimed.

“What? You were thinking about it, weren’t you?” He suggested, to which Leafy sighed and nodded her head.

“Yeah… but that makes me feel bad! Flower must have spent so long making these for everyone and here I am, calling it ugly…”

“Well, think about it like this, you can appreciate the thought behind the gift… just not the gift itself.” Gelatin reassured, putting a hand on her, “But, she’d probably gonna want you to wear that, you know. The rest of us had to spend the day wearing those things.”

Leafy cocked an eyebrow, “Really? Where’s yours now?”

“I may or may not have ‘conveniently’ forgotten it under my bed and I’ll probably never find it again so… oh well. Such a shame.” Gelatin joked.

Leafy snickered slightly before that same feeling of guilt came over. Despite the sweater’s less-than-desirable appearance, it was still a gift made by someone and she wanted to honor that. Even if it was only for today, seeing her wear a gift that she made her would undoubtedly make Flower happy.

As she examined her gift, Leafy’s eyes fell on a small slip of paper still left inside of the box. She leaned down to pick it up and noticed it was a note. Opening the paper, she read the following message.

“Hey, Leafy… Are you feeling… Why do you… I’m sorry if I ever made… If I ever caused you to… I’m sorry if I made you feel bad about yourself or made you feel like you should… This is so stupid why am I even writing this?

Okay, I’m bad with words so I’m just gonna say it, don’t die or try to die because… bullshit. Just don’t die or something, okay because that might suck if you do I think. Okay? This is about me and my feelings! Not yours! I don’t care about you, I just wanna make sure that you don't feel bad if you feel bad about yourself and life or whatever. Okay bye.”

Oh. This was… Right, Leafy forgot that everyone, even those outside of her team knew about her struggles. Flower had essentially just told her to not kill herself because of… it would make her feel bad. Gosh, and it was just when Leafy’s mind wasn’t thinking about all of those things.

She felt selfish. Flower was very clearly trying her best to sound kind but Leafy didn’t want to hear that. In a way, she wanted Flower to treat her like she always did; like a piece of trash. Not out of a desire for self-inflicted punishment but because it was normal. It would mean that nothing has changed and people didn’t see her differently.

But, that was never going to happen. Leafy was never going to be seen as “Leafy” again. Now, she was known as the girl who was about two mental breakdowns from killing herself. She had essentially traded one crappy title for another. From the girl who stole Dream Island from everyone to the girl who wanted to die.

How great.

Her face noticeably soured as Gelatin silently read the note in his hand. He turned to face her with a sympathetic gaze.

“She’s trying, Leafy. Honestly, I think it’s impressive she even tried to say anything in the first place. You gotta give her some props for that.” Gelatin said, “She cares. I think. It’s kinda hard to tell with her but I’m like ninety-five percent sure she cares. She just… doesn’t know how to say it. As you know, feelings are hard and so is changing yourself. Flower is still trying her best to put someone else in front of herself and realize that there are much bigger things than just her.”

Leafy sighed, “I know, you’re right. You’re always right. But, this isn’t really about Flower, or the sweater.”

“Firey, huh?”

Why did he always have to know what she was thinking? It felt like Gelatin could read her mind sometimes. Or perhaps, now that she was being more free with her emotions, everything she was feeling was becoming more obvious.

She groaned, “I don’t know what to do with him. I mean, it’s like… He’s being so nice that it makes me feel bad about not forgiving him. It’s like… He’s not being awful so I feel bad about not being sure about being his friend again.”

“Well, then don’t feel bad! Leafy, you don’t have to do anything for anyone other than yourself. I can’t tell you what to do one way or the other but even if Firey is being nice to you now, it doesn’t mean you should feel like you have to forgive and forget.” Gelatin remarked, “It’s okay to let some people go and live your own life. Being nice now doesn’t mean everything you did in the past is now okay. Some relationships worked in the past and not in the present. No point in beating yourself up for having feelings; it’s part of being a person.”

He continued, “Life isn’t like a TV show. Well, I mean… our lives have mainly been a part of a TV show but ignoring that, my point is that things can’t get fixed in like twenty minutes. Things take a while to heal or maybe they won’t heal at all, and that’s fine too.”

Leafy put her hands on her face as she sighed yet again, “You’re right. I hate how you’re always right. I guess… I just feel like if I don’t forgive him, then what was it all for, you know?”

Gelatin raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“I mean… Why did all of that stuff happen to me? It didn’t make me better or tougher or stronger… It just made me worse. I guess… I’ve just been waiting for this moment where I can say that I feel like I’ve grown, that I’ve changed and I can look back at what happened and say I’m proud that I survived it all but… I don’t. I think I’m just scared that all of the damage I got didn’t do anything good for me, then it wasn’t good damage, it was just damage.”

Leafy so desperately wanted to find some silver lining in her situation. That the pain of the last decade was somehow beneficial, that it had some sort of reason or purpose. It scared her immensely to imagine that there was no reason or purpose, that it didn’t matter and it happened just because it did.

And that was terrifying. That everything she went through had no meaning, had no grander purpose. Leafy was traumatized for no reason and it made her a worse person overall.

“Well, I don’t think there is a thing like “good damage,” or anything like that. Sure, things sometimes can really suck but things simply sucking doesn’t make you a stronger person. I think it’s how you move past the sucky phases of your life and deal with the aftermath. That’s what makes you stronger in my opinion.” Gelatin stated, “Honestly, the fact that you’re still here and you’re trying to deal with everything makes you pretty strong in my book.”

Leafy rubbed her arm, “Really? I don’t feel very strong. If I was, then I wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Oh, come on! You’re plenty strong, you just haven’t accepted it yet. Like… how’d you survive in Yoyleland by yourself for so long? If it were me, I’d probably give up.”

Leafy’s face noticeably soured the moment he mentioned Yoyleland. She looked down at the ground as her legs swung back and forth.

Shit. Gelatin shouldn’t have brought that up. Must have still been a touchy subject for Leafy that she didn’t want brought up.

“Oh, uhh, my bad… you don’t have to answer that. My fault for bringing that up in the first place.”

Stupid. So stupid. Here Gelatin was, praising her strength and yet one little comment about the time she was abandoned showed how truly weak she was on the inside.

Years. It had been years since it happened and yet it always lingered in the back of her mind. Let go of the past, they said. It will get easier in the future, they said.

Wrong. That voice inside of her head was wrong. It still affected her even though she knew it shouldn’t. And it’s not like she could just let it go. How do you just get rid of trauma? How could she be fixed?

How do people ever move on from things anyway? Do they just stop letting it affect them? But how do you do that? How do you stop letting something hurt you even if every time you think about him, the memories still sting? How even if you want things to be better, you still feel that underlying resentment towards him?

It. Not him. Leafy meant it. She likely meant it.

As much as she would love to forget about what happened, painful memories seeped into her mind. Every day. She could remember each and every day of her time in Yoyleland. Each minute of her suffering. That intense desire to die. She remembered it all.

And, why she remembered why she didn’t give up back then, even if she had all of the reasons to do it.

Leafy laid down on the ground. She didn’t move an inch. She didn’t want to move an inch. What was the point of doing anything anymore? After hearing Coiny and Pin talk about how much they didn’t miss her and how better their lives were without her in it, what was the point of living?

Her one hope. The only reason she kept kicking and trying to make it was because she held out hope that her friends would eventually come to her rescue and save her from this hellhole. And what did she get in return for having hope? For having optimism? For believing in someone?

Well, she got told that no one likes her or cares for her and they would all be much happier if she died on this island.

She wanted to give up. No one was coming to help her. Leafy thought about simply wasting away in this spot. Her body was sore. She couldn’t speak. Her body gave up on her and so did her mind. By staying alive, she was just prolonging her suffering and the inevitability of her own death.

How was she going to die? Exhaustion? Lack of sleep? A broken heart? Who knew or really cared? Her friends certainly didn’t. She just wanted to die at this point but her mind wouldn’t let her. Leafy kept hearing that annoyingly positive voice inside of her, telling her that she couldn’t just give up now.

How irritating. Couldn’t her brain recognize that this situation was utterly hopeless? Her friends weren’t coming to save her, the only source of food she had also made it near impossible for her to move and she had already given up so why wouldn’t her brain do the same thing?

Die. Die. Die. Leafy just wanted a release from all of this pain. Why did her mind want her to survive so badly? How could she even make it out of here?

Leafy couldn’t make it back to everyone else. She heard from the mouths of what used to be her friends telling her that they didn’t miss her, so there was certainly no way she was going to be welcomed back with open arms. And even if that wasn’t the case, she was 2,763 miles away from where the rest of the gang were.

Considering her body was metal and she had to crawl to make it to this spot, trying to make it all the way was nothing more than a pathetic suicide attempt, which is probably how Leafy was going to die.

This was really it, huh? This is how Leafy was going to die. Alone, unloved, abandoned with no one by herself. And when she died, there was going to be no one to revive her. She would remain permanently dead, just like her friends wanted.

She was a mix of two emotions. Sad and angry. The reasons why she was sad were understandable. This was a bleak situation; an endless dark tunnel with no visible light at the end of it.

But, she was also furious. How could everyone leave her like this?! Even if she stole Dream Island, did that mean they should all forget about her existence and let her rot here?! Fuck them! Fuck all of them!

A burning desire filled Leafy’s soul; a desire for revenge. Some sort of payback for all of this. A part of her wanted to survive for the sole purpose of showing everyone that she was still alive and kicking and despised all of them. They all lied to her!

No, it wasn’t them she hated; it was Firey. If he had just let her on Dream Island, if he had just talked to her and maybe not have been such a fucking dumbass about a Ferris wheel, none of this would be happening! That selfish fucking cunt.

How could he do this to her? Weren’t they supposed to be best friends?! He literally saved her life from being crushed by everyone else and what did he do?! Forget about her! He went and left for who knows what reason!

She fucking hated it here! She hated every day of her life in this goddamn place and it was all because of him! That piece of shit deserved way worse than whatever he thought she did to him! Leafy wanted Firey to feel exactly what she was feeling right now, times one hundred, a thousand, a million, a billion! Just much worse than she was feeling right now.

Everyone used to like her. No, they used to love her before Firey ruined everything! This was all of his fucking fault! Liar! He lied! That stupid piece of shit fucking lied straight to her face! What happened to caring more about her than Dream Island?! What happened to being her best friend, huh?! To what? Go compete in another shitty competition in this shitty world?!

She hated him. Any sense of friendship or camaraderie was now gone and replaced with a deep sense of disdain for the flame.

Leafy raised her arms and legs and started to kick and pound at the group. This was stupid and immature, she knew that much. Having a temper tantrum wasn’t going to help anything but then again, why should she care? She already gave up on living.

Die. Die. Die. Die. He needed to die. He needed to suffer like she had. He needed to-!

She stopped. What was she thinking? This wasn’t her. She was supposed to be this super kind person and here she was, talking about wanting Firey to suffer. If anything, she was more hurt than anything else. She didn’t know how to deal with all of these emotions.

Plus, even if she wanted to spend months on some revenge mission, what could she even do? He was thousands of miles away and Leafy could barely move a few feet. As she said before, there was no escape from her pain other than her own death.

She was likely never going to see Firey ever again so she might as well just bury her intense feelings of hatred towards him deep down, never to be expressed to his face.

So, all in all, Leafy should just give up and die.

“That’s not true! You don’t actually want that.”

And there it was, right on cue. This stupid voice. Couldn’t her brain tell that this situation wasn’t something she could get out of? There was nothing she could do to live, even if she had a reason to.

“Yes, you can! Who cares about what everyone else says about you? You don’t need them to be happy.”

Dumb. This voice didn’t even know what it was talking about. It was more than just her friends; it was that she had no reason to keep going. Every moment she was still breathing oxygen was a moment she was in pain. Her entire body ached with the pain of being abandoned by those you hold near to your heart.

It didn’t matter what her survival instincts were insisting; she wasn’t going to change her mind.

“Well, if you’re gonna do it, then can you at least wait until tomorrow? Don’t you wanna see the stars one more time?”

Stars. Right. Those little white lights in the night sky. They were always so pretty to her. Leafy had fallen in love with it when she, Bubble, Spongy, Rocky, and the one who shall not be named went to space for a challenge. She remembered how beautiful she thought they looked.

The voice was right. If she died right now, then she would never see the stars again. If she was going to end things on her death, then why not have it be a positive memory? She deserved that much, didn’t she?

Okay, one more day. She’d wait one more day just to see the stars a final time. But this wasn’t going to be some sentimental garbage where she suddenly realized the value of her life and how beautiful the world could be and what it had to offer. This was just her wanting one last nice moment to cap off her life with.

Well, Leafy was very clearly still alive and kicking now so she didn’t decide to end her life on that day. As for why she didn’t? She didn’t know. Each day, she told herself that she would do it tomorrow. And when tomorrow came, she’d do it the next day. Maybe it was driven by this underlying feeling of wanting to live. That her brain was subconsciously trying to delay what she viewed as the inevitable.

And every day, she was still telling herself that she’d do it tomorrow. Leafy was still waiting for that moment when she could safely say that she had survived, was happy with being alive, and didn’t regret it. Now, as for if she felt any regret for still being alive, that was debatable. Sure, she was no longer actively trying about the different ways she could kill herself, but it didn’t mean she was content with how her life had gone up until this point.

When was that day going to come? That day when she felt better about herself and about life? Why did she keep pushing herself to see tomorrow even if she didn’t want to? Why did she want to keep living? Why did anyone even care if she lived to see tomorrow or not? It’s not their problem. Her life shouldn’t matter to any of them.

“…Gelatin, why do you care about me?” Leafy questioned, “I mean… I know you’re just trying to be a good friend and all but why are you really doing this? My problems aren’t your problems and I feel like I’m-!”

“Stop doing that. Stop trying to find a reason to downplay people helping you. You wanna know why I care about you? It’s because you exist, Leafy. That’s really the only reason why I should care; because you exist. You matter to me, Leafy. You matter to a lot of people. You’re just… so wrapped in your own self-hatred that you want to push that aside so you can have a reason to feel bad, but I’m not gonna give you that.”

Self-destructive. Leafy knew that she was, at least on some deeper level. Gelatin was right, she was looking for a reason to ignore any help she got from others because she felt like she didn’t deserve it. Maybe she wanted to wallow in her own self-pity and misery and never leave the tar pit she felt was her prolonged suffering.

“How do you know I matter?” She questioned.

“Because you exist. Look, you don’t gotta prove anything to me or anyone. I don’t need a reason to be nice to you; you deserve it because you exist.”

He was right. That was the hardest part about this whole thing; Leafy knew Gelatin was right but yet she still couldn’t accept it. Why was she like this? Gelatin was right here, telling her that he cared deeply about her and for whatever reason, she couldn’t fully believe in what he was saying. Stupid. She was so stupid.

“You’re right, I-!”

“‘I’m sorry’, that’s what you were gonna say, right?” Gelatin sighed, rubbing his temples, “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Leafy, you gotta stop blaming yourself for every little thing. I know it’s hard but you really gotta learn to like yourself.”

Leafy groaned, “You’re right… I’m sorry I’m not taking your advice all that well. And, I’m also sorry for dumping all of this on you. Must get kinda annoying to hear me vent all of the time.”

“Nonsense! Believe it or not but I actually care about you and Firey and I want the best for you two. I actually like being your unofficial couple’s counselor.” Gelatin smiled.

Leafy rolled her eyes, “Not a couple but thanks, again. Are you sure it doesn’t feel that I’m talking to you about Firey behind his back? I mean, he’s your best friend, isn’t he? Don’t you want us to be friends?”

“Nah. It’s not like we’re talking bad about him. And like I said, I want what’s best for both of you. I know Firey’s not a bad guy and I can tell he really cares about you and likes you, and he wants you to like him too. But, I’m not here to force anything between you two. If separating is what’s gonna help you guys, then I’d say go for it.”

Separating. That was always an option. If things got too hard between the two of them, Leafy always had the option of simply leaving. Nothing was obligating her to be with Firey. If anything, she had more understandable reasons to leave him and cut him out of her life for good than any moral responsibility to stick around him.

Even with that said, perhaps Leafy was still far too attached to him to fully commit to that outcome. Letting go was a lot harder to do than sticking with what you know, right? Even if you know it’s bad for you and very well might end up hurting you in the long run, you still have this desire to stay and see if things might get better.

Of course, that was a big might.

Leafy hummed, “That’s still so weird to me… Like, it’s just strange to think that Firey likes me… Really, likes me, likes me. I mean, he spent so long hating me and pretending I don’t even exist and now it’s painfully obvious how into me he is.”

“I don’t think it’s that weird. I know you don’t see it but there are things to like about you, you know? You’re not really all of the things your brain says about you. Hell, I could see myself liking you too. You’re really pretty, Leafy.”

Leafy could feel her face growing warm, “Uhh, that’s a pretty weird thing to say…”

“Well, it’s true.” He honestly admitted.

The two stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments. An unspoken tension started to arise as the pair looked away from each other. Leafy could have sworn she saw a hint of a blush on Gelatin’s face.

“Okay… maybe that was a little weird…” Gelatin awkwardly chuckled, “I didn’t mean it like that, you know? I was just…”

“Oh, yeah I get it. I didn’t get the wrong idea or anything.”

“Cool.”

Another moment of silence befell the pair.

“Uhh, what were we talking about again?” Leafy asked, trying to alleviate this tension.

“I was being your super cool unofficial therapist and telling you that you gotta learn to accept compliments and that people care about you.”

She winced, “I know. I know you’re right and I know that I should believe you but it’s… hard. I don’t know why but it never feels genuine. It’s like… I know you mean well but I just can’t accept it.”

“Well, you gotta believe us! We all care about you, you know? It’s just… hard to say that we do. If you ask me, I think everyone is just trying their best to do their own thing and just make it through another day.”

Leafy sighed, shuffling away from Gelatin as she held the note in her hand. She knew that he was right, they all did care about her but it was just hard for her to feel that care. A small hint of resentment was still lingering around in her heart. A part of her wished that Gelatin never said anything. Leafy knew it was a bit selfish and unfair, as bottling everything up wasn’t a solution and would have led to her bursting sooner or later but she still would have preferred if it was on her own terms.

“I know you do. I know you all do, I guess… I just wish you guys didn’t look at me like that. Yesterday, it felt like… I wasn’t one of you guys, like I was some outsider or different.” Leafy stated.

But she was. Leafy knew that she was now an outsider. She had been an outsider, something… other than everyone else for years at this point. Yesterday had simply been the most obvious and noteworthy example.

“I know, and I’m sorry for that. I guess it’s just… Everyone is getting used to it and we don’t know what to say. This is new for us too.” Gelatin admitted, before he looked up with a twinkle in his eyes, “Do you… want to talk about it?”

Leafy winced, unsure of what to say. Did she want to talk about it? The better question was, what was left to talk about? Any words said now felt meaningless. Words couldn’t change her feelings. They couldn’t change how she thought about herself, about life in general.

“Do we have to?” Her soft voice questioned.

“Not if you don’t want to. I’m not gonna make you talk about it until you’re ready.” Gelatin cooed, “We can just sit here and crack jokes like nothing happened.”

Leafy groaned in response, “…If we pretend like nothing happens, then nothing changes, right?”

“I guess.”

Leafy and Gelatin remained in an awkward silence for a while, both of them trying to come up with the words that would somehow alleviate this suffocating tension between them.

“…How do you do it?” Leafy eventually asked, rubbing her arm, “How do you… exist like you do? You’re so happy and carefree all of the time, like nothing matters to you and nothing can hurt you. How do you exist like that?”

Gelatin sat there quietly on her bed for a few moments. A few deafening moments before he sucked in some air through his teeth, “…You know how people lie, right?

Leafy watched him with curiosity as she awaited his explanation.

“I think that everyone lies almost every single day. We lie about everything, about each other and about ourselves. I think we lie to ourselves about how we want others to see us. Whether it’s about being better than we really are or how someone else is like, it’s all really just about making ourselves feel better or at least, making sure we feel less worse.”

He continued, now staring directly into her eyes with a tender sense of vulnerability that couldn’t be seen anywhere else, “I lie to myself, Leafy. Honestly, I’m not really this guy who’s always super happy and carefree.”

Leafy’s eyes widened, “Really? But… you always seem so positive.”

“I guess I’m just really good at playing a role, huh?” He sighed, “I don’t really think I’m all that useful unless I’m making someone else happy. That’s all I really can do.”

He sighed as Leafy looked down at the dessert with sympathy playing across her face. She had no idea he felt like this. Was this really Gelatin? Someone who seemed to shine as bright as the night sky was riddled with insecurities and fears like she was.

She put a hand on her lap, “Well, uh, I think you’re great, Gelatin. You’ve really helped me out. I know this is probably ironic coming from me but… you should be nicer to yourself. You’re a really great guy.”

Gelatin gazed at her with a sort of underlying feeling of fondness as he smiled before looking off to the side. Leafy could have sworn she saw a hint of a blush on his face as he laughed.

“Okay, I think I think that’s enough of getting philosophical and all that other dumb crap.” Gelatin exclaimed, perking up as he got up and started to walk over to the door, “I’ll see you at breakfast, Leafy!”

Before she could even respond, Gelatin closed the door and left Leafy by herself again. She watched the door as she reflected on what just happened. Gelatin’s facade had cracked for a moment. Leafy saw the real him, not the nonchalant jokester who loved making jokes.

The two were more alike than she thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stupid piece of shit. You’re a stupid piece of shit, you know that? Well, of course you know, otherwise I wouldn’t be calling you that. By acknowledging that you’re a piece of shit, does this make it better since you know you’re bad or does it make it worse since you’re not doing all that much to change yourself?

Blocky.

Firey was standing in front of his door as he tried his best to gather up the nerve to go outside and talk to Blocky. He didn’t mean any of what he said and all he wanted was to stop fighting with people.

The first step in doing that was to apologize for what he said to him when he came into his room and tell him about what was going on. Blocky was right after all, Firey had been secretive lately and it wasn’t fair to the rest of his team.

Even with that said, self-doubt always has a way of undermining any positive efforts. Firey was still scared of having to face the guy he explicitly told he hated and wanted nothing to do within a stupid moment of rage. To him, anything he said felt stupid or like it was bound to backfire at any moment.

Do I really have to talk to him right now? He’s probably still pissed after what happened. Talking to him now is gonna make things worse. Maybe I should just wait until he’s cooled off.

Oh, shut up, you moron. You and I both know that you're using that same dumb excuse to justify not talking to him. You don’t really care about whether he wants to talk or not, you just want a convenient excuse to avoid talking to him by saying he needs to cool down. How long do you think he needs, huh? A day? A week? A month? A year? Hell, maybe you should do the same thing you did with Leafy and avoid talking to him for another ten years since that went so well the first time.

Okay. Fine. He’d go talk to Blocky. It couldn’t be that hard, now could it? How hard was apologizing really? It was just saying a few words and showing that you weren’t gonna do it again. It sounds so easy on paper.

Oh, apologizing is so easy? Then why hasn’t Leafy forgiven you yet? You stupid piece of shit. If apologizing was that easy, then why are you still such a garbage person?

Okay, do you want me to apologize or not because the more you talk, the more it sounds like you don’t want me to apologize to Blocky? You can’t insult me for not apologizing and then try to tell me I’m wrong for apologizing. You gotta pick a side.

You know what? Firey was just going to go apologize and not deal with this internal war in his head. He didn’t have the time, energy, or care for any of this garbage. He was going to take a deep breath, gather his courage, ignore his thoughts saying otherwise, and say the words, “I’m sorry,” and whatever happens next, happens.

He opened the door gently, wincing as it creaked at its hinges. Firey stuck his head out through the doorway and looked side to side, seeing no one down the hallway. It may have seemed dumb and a bit paranoid for Firey to be doing this but he wasn’t ready to run into anyone else. He knew that he’d have to eventually but now was not the time.

Looks like no one’s here. Are they in their rooms? Must be in their rooms. Maybe they’re all trying to get away from me. Or is that self-centered of me to assume it has to do with me? Maybe they’re not even hiding at all and I’m just making dumb assumptions to distract myself from having to talk to Blocky.

Is Blocky in his room? Maybe. Should I knock just to make sure? Or maybe I shouldn’t because if I do, then I would have to talk to Blocky. But that’s what I came out here to do, right? But I also really don’t want to do that.

What if I knock and he’s not there but someone else hears the knock and they come out to check out the noise? What do I do then? I can’t deal with the others right now. I have to make up with Blocky first.

Wait, what am I even worrying about? What’s the worst that could happen anyway if I do knock on his door and he’s not there and someone else comes in?

Well, the worst thing that could happen would be that they see me and they’re still pissed about the past two days so they start beating me up and then they try to kill me.

…Okay, now what’s the worst thing that could happen in reality and not my made-up fantasies? Actually, even if they were to try to kill me, I’m literally fire, I could kill them. But what if they throw water on me? Gosh, I’m still scared of H20, that’s crazy, isn’t it? Or I guess it’s not since water is my natural enemy.

If any of them were to come outside and try to kill me, then I could beat them in a fight, couldn’t I? I mean, Woody’s not that strong and he’s made out of wood. Fire beats wood.

Fire beats wood, sounds like something you could put into a new game. Like a new rock, paper, scissors type of game.

Is Woody even that weak? Remember when Taco and Blocky got Woody that cardboard box for the challenge because they thought he wouldn’t like something that dangerous? He got really pissed off. That was pretty scary for a guy who speaks in “Wahh” all the time.

Wait, no, I could totally kick Woody’s ass in a fight if he tries to kill me because he’s still mad at me for the past two days and I knock on Blocky’s door and he’s not there and Woody happens to hear the noise and care enough to go out of his room to check it out.

“…What the hell am I thinking?” Firey mumbled, bemused by where his internal thoughts had led him.

He should just go, shouldn’t he? He was purposely letting his mind wander off to the next thing in some desperate attempt to waste time so it would look like Firey ran out of time to talk to Blocky and apologize.

Firey took a step forward into the hallway, a very shaky and hesitant step but one nonetheless. He looked down and saw one of the discarded letters he spent all night writing to vent out his feelings about this entire situation.

And, in a classic Firey way, he allowed his mind to spiral with this one possibility.

Should I write him a note? If I write him a note and slide it underneath his door, then I won’t have to face him directly. Of course, that’s assuming he’s even in his room and hasn’t stormed out of the cabin, talking with everyone else.

Actually, where is everyone else?

Probably talking about how shitty you are and how much they hate you, you dumb piece of shit. Why don’t you do everyone a favor and go jump into a lake and don’t come back?

Nah. That’d be too good for you. You should probably stay alive a little longer. You need to be alive so you can suffer and feel shitty like the garbage person you are for a little longer. If you die now, then that’d be a complete waste. Not to mention you’d just be taking the coward’s way out like you usually do with all of your problems.

Right. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the note. Okay, so if Blocky’s in his room and I slide a note under his door… What should I even say? Say I’m sorry?

Sorry and what else, you dumbass? You spent the entire night proving that you can’t write so why would this be any different, you idiot? Go over there and knock on his door to figure out if he’s in there or not. Move your pathetic legs and open your dumbass mouth and give him a real apology.

Yeah, but what about Woody? 

Oh my oxygen, Woody’s not even here and I thought we both acknowledged you could take him in a fight, which would be pathetic considering how much weaker he is than you.

Didn’t we also agree that Woody isn’t as weak as he seems and we shouldn’t make assumptions?

Oh, like you’d ever do the right and respectful thing. Maybe if you did, you wouldn't be in this situation. You’re always in a hole and you keep digging yourself deeper into it because you’re too scared to see what's on the top. Now stop stalling and do it already.

My legs hurt.

Your legs are fine.

I don’t want to.

Who cares about your feelings? You clearly never cared about other people’s feelings before until it made you realize how shit you are.

I don’t want to go talk to him.

You’re so self-destructive, you know that? You like this, don’t you? You purposely sabotage yourself so you can get sympathy points instead of trying to fix the problem. What do you think is gonna happen? Your team is gonna forgive you simply because you’re Firey and you exist? Get real.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go talk to him, idiot.

Right. Firey should go talk to him. All of this debating was nothing more than an excuse for him to not go confront Blocky and be forced to apologize.

He gulped before walking through his door and heading to Blocky’s room. His body shook violently as he tried to calm his racing nerves. He could do this. He knew he could do this. It was just one simple apology and then he’d be done with it.

Firey’s eyes continued to scan the hallways, still uncertain if anyone else might be coming and having to face the possibility of accidentally bumping into him. The last thing Firey needed was another strained relationship with another one of his teammates.

He made it to the front of Blocky’s door and held out his hand to knock on him, stopping only a few inches away from actually hitting it.

What are you doing, you idiot? This is what you wanted. No, this is what you need to do. Why is it so hard for you to accept that you did something wrong and you need to make amends for it? This is so typical of you. Knock on his door, you baby.

Firey knocked on Blocky’s door. Instantly, he was struck with anxiety as his eyes darted across the room. Oh fuck, Blocky was going to come out, see him, get all pissed off at him, and then yell at him as some sort of attempt at revenge and-!

Nothing. Nothing happened. Firey waited for a few minutes but nothing happened. No one ever came to answer the door.

Okay, so Blocky’s either not here, or he’s sleeping. If he’s sleeping, then I should probably let him sleep and not bother him.

What if he’s not sleeping? Stop making everything an excuse for yourself and go look around the cabin to see if he’s still around. Just because he didn’t answer the door doesn’t mean he’s disappeared off the face of the planet.

What happens if I look for him and he’s out of the house?

Then you go look for him. What about this is so hard for you to understand, you stupid idiot?

Where would I even go?

I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m not gonna let you pull the same old stunt again and just sweep everything under the rug because it’s “too hard for you to deal with right now.” If you want your teammates to like you and believe in you again, then you have to do better than this.

Firey sighed yet again and banged his head against the wall. This sucked. All of this sucked. Life sucked. His life sucked. Everything was nothing more than a black hole that sucks and sucks and sucks.

Thank goodness Black Hole wasn’t actually here to hear that.

Groaning, Firey forced his feet to walk around the cabin. He figured that before he was going to look for Blocky, he might as well take a moment to do anything else.

He walked over into the living room and froze in place.

Blocky. Blocky was there. He was sitting down on the couch, not doing much of anything. He looked like he was still cooking down from their intense fight.

Firey should go. He shouldn’t be here. In fact, he should have never left in the first place. What was he thinking? Stupid. He was so stupid. What could he even say to Blocky? He probably didn’t want to see him.

No, don’t you dare start with this again. Go talk to him, idiot. If you go back to your room and hide away again, then Blocky will just get even more pissed off. That is literally the exact thing he criticized you for in the first place. Stop proving him right and go talk to him.

Firey knew he had to but he didn’t want to. He wanted to just stay here, watching Blocky from afar and never having to make a move. Of course, that wouldn’t fix anything but it also would prevent Firey from making things worse.

If he never said anything to Blocky then he couldn’t piss him off even more. Staying quiet and ignoring his problems was the only way he knew how to deal with things. Breaking out of old habits was a lot harder than finding a reason to not fall into those habits.

“…Firey? What are you doing?”

A shiver ran down his spine as he glanced over at Blocky, who was now looking directly at him. Their eyes connected and Firey’s breath began to turn ragged. Shit. Shit. Shit. He was looking at him. He was looking directly at him. Right in his eyes.

Oh fuck. What should I say? I don’t wanna tell him why I’m really out here. I gotta think of an excuse. What’s a believable reason I’m out here?

Uhhh, I’ll tell him that I came out here to get a bottle of water.

What? That makes no sense, you moron. You’re made out of fire. Water kills you, dumbass. Why the hell would Blocky believe you’re going to get a drink of water? Do you want him to believe you’re trying to kill yourself in the kitchen?

“Uhhhh…”

Don’t you dare say it. Stop making up excuses and talk to him, you idiot. Stop it and make a move. Stop it! Don’t walk towards the kitchen. Do not say you’re getting some water.

“…I’m getting some water, that’s all.” Firey awkwardly chuckled, rubbing his arm.

I can’t believe you said that.

Blocky gave him a confused look as Firey awkwardly walked towards the kitchen. This was stupid. Firey was being stupid. He should just go up to him, sit his ass down on that couch and talk to Blocky instead of making up an excuse for why he was out here.

He knew he should go talk to him and explain everything that was going on with him so his team didn’t end up resenting him but it was hard. Too hard in fact. For doing that would mean Firey would have to openly admit that he did something wrong and had to accept the consequences.

Not to mention, he didn’t want Blocky to know what happened. Who knows what would happen if Firey told Blocky what he did during IDFB and all of the guilt and internal turmoil he was dealing with?

Why not just tell him? You know that if you don’t, he’ll keep thinking you’re nothing but a selfish asshole who hates him and the rest of your teammates. Ignoring him and pretending like you’re not being self-centered won’t help.

Shit.

Still, I don’t want him to get all up in my problems. For starters, who knows if he even cares? Why should I let him get his grubby little hands in my business?

He’s not grubby, he’s your friend, you piece of garbage. You’re a piece of garbage. A really shitty piece of garbage, you know that, right?

“Firey, what are you actually doing?” Blocky asked, immediately filling Firey with fear and a sickening sense of dread, “We both know you’re not actually here to drink some water… since… you know.”

Shit. He knows. He knows you’re lying. What else were you expecting from that dumb excuse? This is your chance to talk to him. Don’t fuck this up.

Firey turned around to face the red block with an awkward smile, “Uhhh…”

Blocky raised an eyebrow, “If you got something to say, then you should just say it already.”

Okay, think, idiot. How much do you want to tell him? You can’t tell him everything about Leafy, since he’ll definitely hate your guts even more than he already does. Plus, he’d definitely go around and spill the truth to everyone before it inevitably reaches Leafy and then she freaks out and gets all mad at you before cutting you out of her life a second time and for good.

Can’t be too secretive either. That’s why Blocky is mad at you in the first place. You gotta spill some truth. Being too vague or trying to hide everything is just gonna lead to him getting more pissed since he’ll just assume you came to lie to his face or something.

“Are you gonna say something or should I just go back to my room?” Blocky asked, snapping Firey out of his thoughts.

Shit. He’s waiting for a response. Say something, idiot. Open your idiot, dumbass mouth.

“Uhhh, Blocky! I-I, uhh, I was… I mean… I’ve… been going through some stuff lately.”

Oh my gosh, you really are selfish. You couldn’t have at least started the conversation with an apology? No, you had to go around and give some excuse about yourself instead of the guy you’re actively screwing over because you wanna play catch-up and fix mistakes you made years ago.

Why is nothing I do good enough for you? I’m trying to explain my actions. I’ll get to apologizing soon.

I definitely believe that…

“Like what, Firey? What are these ‘things’ that you’re going through that are so big and so important and so difficult that none of us can know what’s going on?” Blocky barked, “You want help or something? Then tell me what’s going on with you.”

“I don’t know, Blocky! Okay? I don’t know what’s going on with me really. It’s like… There’s twenty million different things going on at the same time and I don’t know how to fix anything! I don’t even know what I’m doing here.” Firey exclaimed, “I’m just… I’m scared… I’m scared that if I tell you what’s going on, you’re gonna hate me and think I’m some worthless piece of shit… which isn’t too far off, I guess.”

Firey looked down at the floor in shame, unable to face Blocky. He felt awful, even more so than usual. He felt bad for letting his teammates down. He felt bad for existing as the piece of shit he was.

He wanted to be better, to do better but he didn’t know how. It’s not like Blocky would care about his problems either way. From everything with Leafy, to his team, to him as a person, it felt like it was weighing down on him, slowly crushing him with each passing day and he didn’t know how to get all of the pressure off of him.

Firey had made so many mistakes in his life. If he could go back and get a redo, he would never have kicked Leafy out of Dream Island, which meant she would never have had to steal it and prevent her lifelong journey of trauma and suffering.

Kicking her out of Dream Island was the biggest mistake of his life. If only he knew what sort of effect this would have on the both of them at the time. He would have just talked to her about how he felt instead of making a drastic and immature decision, which led to Leafy making an irrational and emotionally driven decision. Gosh, if the two of them had just talked it out, face to face, and come to some sort of understanding, then it would have been fine.

Idiot. Stupid piece of shit. Why didn’t he just talk to her at the time? Stupid petty feelings were running rampant and because of his lack of communication, their friendship fell apart.

Then, he would go and tell Leafy how he truly felt about her. Just go up to her and say the words and see what happened. No more waiting years and denying his feelings. So much time was wasted because he didn’t want to be honest with himself.

If he just hadn’t been so stupid, so immature, if he had been a better person, none of the last ten years would have happened. That day, the day when he won Dream Island and the day when his friendship with Leafy fell apart… He could still remember it as if it happened merely yesterday.

“Congratulations, Firey, you have won BFDI and Dream Island.” Announcer’s robotic voice stated, handing him a slip of paper.

Firey’s eyes lit up as he looked at the paper in awe. He opened it up to see the words, “Deed to Dream Island,” on it. He couldn’t believe it! He won! He actually won! Two years were spent battling for this prize and Firey had turned out to be the ultimate winner. He felt like he could explode. His happiness had never gotten so high before.

“Woah, that’s great, Firey!” Leafy complimented, standing next to her best friend, “You did a great job, you definitely deserved to win.”

Firey smiled before it faltered for a moment. His eyes looked down at the paper and he sighed before smiling yet again.

“Ehehehe, I know I do.”

“Yes, well, as you know, after winning BFDI, you now have the choice of who you want to join you on Dream Island. Make your choices well.” The speaker box stated.

Oh, right. It had been so long since this had started that Firey forgot the second benefit to winning BFDI; he could choose anyone he wanted to share his newfound prize with. Among the other nineteen contestants, he could choose to take them all, take none of them, or pick a select few.

Right, here comes the hard part…

Firey shook his head, trying to get the memory. No, he didn’t want to reflect on his past mistakes right now. Thinking about that day and the butterfly effect it had on him and Leafy wouldn’t change anything. A seemingly harmless decision that led to consequences for their friendship, interactions with others, and their own feelings about themselves.

Just like how a butterfly’s wings could cause a hurricane, kicking Leafy out of Dream Island ultimately fucked both of them over big time.

Not to mention, he didn’t want to think about that mistake. Even if it happened over a decade ago, just thinking about it made it seem more recent… more real.

It was like if Firey didn’t think about it, then it was almost like it never even happened in the first place. And if it never happened, then Firey would have no reason to feel guilty.

Too many bad feelings associated with that day for him to want to remember. A day that was supposed to be the happiest of his life, becoming the winner of a competition he spent so long participating in, turned out to be the worst day of his life.

“Woah, okay… uh, why don’t you take a seat?” Blocky suggested, scooting over and patting a spot on the couch for Firey to take a seat.

Firey mumbled something incoherent to himself as he obliged and took a seat next to the red cube. His eyes never left the floor as he awkwardly shuffled towards him.

He hated this feeling. The feeling of being judged. It felt like Blocky was judging him for everything he had done over the past decade even if he hadn’t said anything about that.

Maybe it was because he deserved it. Firey didn’t like to be so full of self-loathing but he couldn’t help it. He hated seeing what he saw in the mirror. Firey wanted to crawl out of his skin or be a different person entirely. Just someone, anyone who wasn’t Firey.

Once he sat down, Blocky turned to him, “What’s going on, Firey? Look, I… I didn’t mean to hurt you back there. I was just pissed since you were being all secretive and not saying anything to us. We can’t really work together if we don’t know about what’s going on with each other. You ain’t worthless, and… I’m sorry if I made you feel like that.”

A burning feeling in his chest. Firey didn’t want to hear Blocky apologize. He’s the one who should be apologizing. He’s the one who lost it at all and all of Blocky’s criticisms were valid. He had to accept responsibility for this one.

“No, you were right. I was being an asshole. And, I’m sorry! I’m sorry that I’ve been a shitty teammate. I’m sorry I took the diary two days ago. I’m sorry I spent the entirety of yesterday just messing around with Leafy. I’m sorry that… I’ve just never been good enough for anyone! I’m sorry that I’ve always been this stupid piece of shit who does nothing but cause problems for everyone else!”

A waste. That’s what Firey felt he was. A stupid piece of shit and a waste of everyone’s time, of space, and energy. Why was he even alive? To cause problems for everyone? Firey couldn’t think of a single good thing he’s done in the past ten years.

“Hey, that’s not true. You’re not a stupid piece of shit. Look, let’s just talk it out, m’kay? Whatever’s going on, just tell me and I’ll try my best to help.”

Firey opened his mouth to say something before the voice in his head returned with a vengeance.

Don’t bother. You know he won’t care, or worse, he’ll despise your existence just like you already do. You’re ruining him, you know that, right? You’re poison and you’ve been infecting everyone around you for years. You’ve poisoned all of them, there’s nothing you can do.

That’s not true.

Yeah? It is. You stupid piece of shit. You’re a real stupid piece of shit and everywhere you go, you’ve destroyed people. Of course, Blocky is never going to forgive you, what else do you expect? That’s why all of your teammates hate you. That’s why Gelatin is eventually going to leave you when he realizes how toxic you are.

That’s why you abandoned your so-called best friend and gave her lifelong trauma and made her want to kill herself. What are you gonna do when Leafy eventually kills herself, huh? Gonna ignore that for ten years too?

Stop. Please stop. I wouldn’t. I care. I care about her so much. I love her so much. That’s not gonna happen. That’s not gonna happen. She’s going to be okay. Leafy’s going to be fine.

Oh? And who told you that? You think that having one good day yesterday is enough to fix everything that’s wrong with her? You made her like this. She’s only acting like this because of what you did to her. 

Let’s not forget you caused her to have a mental breakdown just two days ago because of your selfishness. You didn’t even care about her feelings until she was down on her knees, crying her eyes out and asking you if you wanted her to die.

I cared. I always cared. I just didn’t know how to tell her because I was scared about what everyone else would think about me.

And that’s exactly your problem. You care too much about yourself and your own image so much that you were perfectly okay with pretending Leafy doesn’t exist for years. And all of this is supposed to be forgiven and forgotten because you had one good day? You delusional moron.

We both know you don’t really love her. You just love the idea of swooping in and being some sort of hero for her, don’t you? That maybe if you “fix” her, then you’ll stop feeling so shitty about yourself. Leafy’s nothing but an opportunity for you to boost your own ego. And then, you’ll feel nothing when she inevitably kills herself because of you.

That’s your biggest fear, isn’t it? That you hurt your supposed best friend so badly that she wants to die. You know it’s going to happen, right? You’ve poisoned her all throughout her life and it’s inevitably going to kill her. You’re just trying to delay what you know is already coming.

Admit it, even when you’re trying to help, you’re still thinking about yourself and what might happen to you! Pathetic, isn’t it? You drove a girl to having suicidal thoughts and yet you’re still focused on yourself.

Are you worried that everyone will rightfully hate you when they figure out who you really are? It’s for the best anyway, you were only dragging them down to your level since that’s the only thing you can do.

This is who you are. This is Firey at his core; a selfish, narcissistic, psychopath who does whatever he wants and doesn’t give a shit about who he hurts in the process. A pathetic, useless, worthless coward who can’t do anything but hurt the people he claims to care about. Why don’t you do the world a favor and go jump into an ocean? At least then, you won’t be able to hurt anyone anymore and you’d be doing everyone a favor. All of their lives would be much better if you weren’t in them anymore.

You should really just kill your-!

“SHUT UP!” Firey yelled, wincing from his own words. Tears trickled down from his eyes, burning away in a hiss of smoke once they touched him as his breathing grew ragged.

Too many voices in his head. Too hard to drown them all out. He didn’t need to hear any of this. Insecurities on top of insecurities, wrapping around him to keep holding him down and filling his head with horrible thoughts about himself and his life.

Firey wanted to break down into tears. He couldn’t take this mental torture any longer. He wanted to feel good about himself again, to be free of this inner voice whose only goal seemed to be making Firey feel as awful about himself as it could.

He wasn’t a bad person, was he? Sure, Firey knew he wasn’t a perfect little saint who did absolutely nothing wrong but he was still a good person, right? Even after everything he’s done, he was still a good person.

Firey knew he had to let go. That in order to really move on, he had to forgive himself. Maybe that’s why he was so desperate for Leafy’s forgiveness; because it would make him feel like he forgave himself for leaving her for all of these years. The best way to move on was to accept what he had done and be better in the future.

Of course, he knew it. He knew that blaming himself wouldn’t help anything. It’s not like he could go back to the past and change what he did. He could tell himself how stupid or worthless he was but it’s not like any of that could fix what happened. Accepting his flaws and being able to move forward is what would really help. The only issue was that it was hard to forgive himself.

It would be one thing if he and Leafy simply got into a dumb argument over something stupid and stopped talking for a while. This was far bigger. Firey abandoned his best friend and pretended she didn’t exist for years, not even mentioning that he also ruined any chances of her reputation being fixed because of his deep-seated need for validation.

That was a massive mistake spanning across a decade. It pained him deeply to know that he hurt someone who he should have cared for and protected to the point where she hated her life and simply existing. And the worst part of it all was that he didn’t know what to do to fix all of this.

He didn’t have the words to express any of his feelings. He had so much he wanted to tell her but didn’t know how. And alas, there was not much he could do to help her. No big grand gesture, no long and heartfelt speech. All he could do was be there for her now to make up for his failure of being a friend to her years ago.

“Firey, woah, calm down!” Blocky’s voice called out, snapping Firey back to the reality of his situation, “It’s okay, man… Just relax… Just breathe.”

Blocky began to take breaths, silently encouraging Firey to do the same. The two of them took deep breaths and Firey slowly started to feel himself calm down. In and out. In and out. Relax your mind and take a deep breath. Firey repeated that mantra to himself until his body relaxed.

He looked over at Blocky who put a hand on his and looked at him directly in his eyes.

“Woah, Firey, look… I was pissed off at you, sure but that doesn’t mean I hate you or I don’t care about you anymore. Did you think I was gonna stay pissed forever? You just gotta be more honest with us, and I’m not talking about just being on BFB. You’re my friend, Firey, and if something’s bothering you, then I wanna try my best to listen. That’s why I was so upset, since it felt like you didn’t trust us anymore, or really… you didn’t trust me enough to tell me what’s happening.”

“I know, I’m sorry! I’ve just… I don’t know what I would even say to you guys. That I’m some asshole who fucked up big time for most of my life? I don’t know how to even explain anything. I stole the diary and made our team up for elimination because I’m useless and I only think about myself!”

“Hey, no need to be like that. You’re not useless, you just messed up once… or well, a few times, that’s all.”

“But, it’s not just one mistake, it’s multiple. I don’t know how I can even begin to forgive myself for what I did. Most people don’t make mistakes that end up really hurting someone they’re supposed to care about…”

Blocky raised an eyebrow, “Wait, what? I thought we were talking about the comp-!”

His eyes widened as he let out a soft, “Oh,” at the realization, “This… isn’t BFB, is it? You’re thinking about Leafy, aren’t you?”

Firey winced, “That obvious?”

Blocky sighed, “Okay, look, I know you’re upset about everything that happened between you two but bitching about it isn’t gonna help. I know you’re probably thinking you’re the worst person ever to exist but you’re really not. There’s always someone shittier than you out there. At least you know you did something wrong and you’re trying to fix it. Way better than someone who knows they’re shitty and is happy with being like that. You really wanna fix your mistakes? Just do better. That’s all you really can do. You’re still a good person, Firey.”

“Then, why don’t I feel like I am?!”

“Because your brain is being stupid. It’s telling you all of these things are blatantly not true because it wants you to hate yourself but you shouldn’t. Your perspective is fucked up right now because you feel so bad about yourself but whatever you’re thinking right now about who you are as a person, it isn’t you and it isn’t the Firey I grew up with.”

“Then, how do I make it stop? How do I make this voice in my head go away and leave me alone?”

Blocky shrugged, “I dunno. I don’t think it ever really goes away for good but you can always tell it to shut the fuck up and remember it’s just trying to drag you down and make you even worse about yourself when you really don’t need to.”

Firey sighed, “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“This isn’t me being nice; this is me telling you that you need to get your shit together. Plus, what’d you want me to say? That you actually are worthless and stupid? Come on. I know I’m an asshole but I’m not that much of an asshole to kick someone when they’re already pretty down.”

Tough. Blocky just needed to be a bit rough with him. It may look a bit rude from an outside perspective but Blocky was doing this because he cared about Firey. A bit of tough love was what he needed right now. Blocky wasn’t the type to coddle someone and he wasn’t going to start today.

Sugarcoating Firey wasn’t going to help him get through with his problems, nor would bullying him make him feel better. Blocky just needed to show that he did care and he did want the best for his friend without being too soft or cruel.

“...Thanks. Really, I… I appreciate it. And… I promise I’ll try my best to do better… And I’m sorry for stealing the diary, and skipping out on yesterday’s challenge, and for not talking to any of you guys, and… just being a bad teammate in general.”

Blocky dismissively waved his hand, “It’s fine, man, just don’t do it again and I think we’ll be cool. And… I’m sorry as well for shouting at you back there. Shouldn’t have gotten so pissed at you when I know you’re dealing with your own stuff right now.”

“So, we’re cool?” Firey asked, extending out his hand for a handshake.

Blocky smiled and shook his hand, “Heh, yeah, we’re cool.”

Reconciliation. It felt nice. It gave Firey a light feeling in his chest, knowing that Blocky was no longer angry with him. A restoration of their friendship. It was good to have someone else on his side now. If only he could do the same with the one person who he desperately wanted to be friends with again. But, their situations weren’t exactly comparable.

He thought of this as a mini-boss. He managed to fix things with Blocky but being a bad teammate was nothing compared to abandoning his supposed best friend for over a decade. Reconciling with Leafy was going to take a lot more work and effort.

Firey will just have to keep trying with the others until he gains enough confidence to talk to Leafy.

He huffed as he let go of Blocky’s hand, “Well, it’s nice that you forgive me but what about the others? Flower and Woody are probably still pissed off at me.”

“Ehh, don’t worry about that. I’ll talk to them about it. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“No, I should do it! I should be the one to talk to them. I’m tired of letting others do things I should be doing myself!” Firey exclaimed.

Woah, is that what character development felt like? Firey was actually feeling the desire to face his problems head-on? And without constantly criticizing himself and feeling awful about his own existence? What a novel concept! Firey was growing as a person and actually learned something from this.

Blocky chuckled, “Alright, alright, go crazy.”

Firey smiled as well until he heard the door slowly begin to creep open. He and Block turned to see Flower and Woody walking aside. His heart dropped in his chest faster than he thought it would. Did he have to talk to them right now? Reconciling with Blocky, even if it felt nice, was still quite anxiety-inducing and now he had to do the same with the final two remaining Have Nots?!

“Oh, look who finally decided to crawl out of his cave. And here I thought, you went off to hang out with Leafy again.” Flower scoffed, glaring at Firey, who felt himself shrink underneath her intense gaze. It felt like she was burning a hole right through him, judging him and blaming him for everything.

“Flower, I-!”

“Save it. That’s not what we’re here for anyway.” Flower remarked, putting up her hand before she turned to the piece of Balsa plywood. “Woody, tell ‘em.”

“Wah. Wah wah wah. Wah wah wah! Wah, wah, wah.” Woody said, causing Blocky and Firey to look at each other with a befuddled expression.

“Flower, just tell us yourself. You know I haven’t fully figured out how to translate Woody’s gibberish yet.” Blocky said, “He said something about Four and X though, right?”

They’re learning how to translate Woody’s speech? Wow, I really gotta keep up.

Flower rolled her eyes as she flickered one of her petals and put a hand on her hip, “Fine! He said you guys should hurry up and eat your breakfast if you haven’t already because it’s time for us to read our weekly fan mail and then tomorrow, we find out which one of us has been eliminated.”

Oh. Right. That. Firey had almost completely forgotten about their weekly fan mail. Fans adored the show and by extension, they also adored the contestants. So, roughly about every week, they would read off some of the letters sent to the show. Most of Firey’s letters were relatively positive, talking about how people thought he should win BFB but there were some less kind comments. He got told how he was pretty boring to watch and had a basic personality, which definitely stung a bit.

Others told him that he was stupid for staying on BFB and should have left to join TPOT with the majority of the other contestants. And others were downright malicious with nothing but hatred spewed towards him.

Thus is the life of being on a TV show.

Flower glanced over at Firey with a hint of disdain in her eyes, “Thanks for that by the way, Firey. I’m sure whichever one of us gets out is gonna be so happy they lost because you did something stupid and petty.”

“Like you’re one to talk about being petty, you stupid overgrown weed…” Firey mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?!” Flower asked.

“Nothing! Nothing, I said nothing!” FIrey exclaimed, scrambling to make himself sound believable.

“Sure.” Flower stated, shooting Firey a dirty look before going back to addressing the other three Have Notters, “This still sucks though. After this elimination, we’ll be down to three people and the Have Cots still have five members on their team. If only our teammate didn’t steal Donut’s diary for no reason, or if he was there yesterday to help out with the challenge but I guess he was too busy doing other things.”

“Flower, I’m sorry, okay? I promise it won’t happen again.” Firey pleaded, “You don’t have to keep being pissed off at me! That was a one-time thing and I swear I’ll never do it again.”

Flower’s eyebrows narrowed in on themselves as she stared at him, “Whatever, you’re just lucky that we actually managed to win yesterday’s challenge, no thanks to you. I’d probably be even more pissed if we’d lost twice in a row.”

“Wait, you guys won?”

“Yeah, I just said that. And what do you care? You weren’t there, remember?”

This hurts. Firey was trying. He really was. He was apologizing, wasn’t he? If Flower could just give him a second chance, then he could totally prove her wrong and show her that he was going to pay more attention to trying to win whatever the hell a “BFB” was. All she had to do was believe in him.

“Anyway, like Woody said, get breakfast and meet us outside. Can’t wait to see what your fans think about you now, Firey.”

Dread. A small one but it was there. Firey hadn’t really thought about what the viewers of the show might think about him now. From their eyes, BFB 22 was entirely his fault and he didn’t even bother to show up for BFB 23. From that point of view, it did not paint Firey in a favorable light.

With that, Flower walked off with a scoff. Woody stayed behind for a few moments, simply watching Firey and Blocky with those big, seemingly innocent eyes of his. Firey wished that he could look like that. So pure and without any fault. He was glad that he was saying all of this in his mind since Woody would undoubtedly hate the way Firey was talking about him.

“Woody-!”

“Wah. Wah, wah, wah! Wah, wah, wah… Wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah, wah! Wah…” Woody said as he walked off towards the kitchen, not even bothering to look in his direction.

“What’d he say?” Firey asked, turning to the red cube.

“Uhh, it’s probably best if I don’t tell you. Let’s just say he ain’t too happy with you right now.”

Firey sighed. If Woody was still pissed at him, then this was going to be a lot harder than he thought. He needed to make amends quickly considering tomorrow was the day one of them left the show for good. And he didn’t want any lingering resentment between him and his teammates.

Whoever got eliminated was surely going to blame him for it. Unless, that eliminated person was himself but that wouldn’t happen, would it? Firey never even really thought about his own potential elimination from the show. He wasn’t confident he’d win or anything like that but it just never crossed his mind.

He got up from the couch and took a deep breath, “Okay. Breakfast first and then we go read our fan mail.”

It couldn’t be that bad, right?

Chapter Text

“Excited to read your fan mail today, my favorite botanic person I know?” Gelatin asked as the pair walked outside with the rest of their group behind them.

Leafy didn’t reply at first. She had never really expected anything good from getting fan mail. Sure, she had her diehard fans as all of them did but it never felt genuine To her. Maybe it was because she didn’t know any of them. A parasocial relationship. People loved her, yes, but no one loved her in the way that people traditionally describe love.

More of an infatuation. An idealized image of her based on what the show presented of her. Based on what she showed out to the world. Not the real her but a version that would be more socially acceptable. People would hate her if they saw who she really was deep down.

Perhaps that’s why she still felt unloved despite the fans she had. No one loved Leafy, they just loved what they could project onto her. Only the good qualities and ignoring all of the bad. Or was all of her negative traits exaggerated by her own self-loathing?

“Uhh, yeah… I guess I am…” She commented.

“Well, I’m not particularly excited. It’s always the same comments for me. Talking about how attractive I am.” Lollipop remarked, sighing as she picked up her speed to match the two of them. “Although, I suppose it’s not that bad… or that untrue. I suppose I am quite the charmer if I’ve managed to sway so many hearts of our viewers.”

“How modest of you. Are we supposed to start bowing to you, my Queen?” Gelatin chuckled, playfully rolling his eyes.

“That wouldn’t be so bad.” She replied, a faint smile showing itself.

The two friends laughed as Leafy watched them with a tinge of jealousy. How nice it must have been for them to be able to act so comfortably around each other. It was unlike how they acted with Leafy. She wanted some of that action, for them to be that comfortable with her and feel free to joke with her.

But, no. What did she get? Leafy got, “Oh, are you feeling okay,” with those stupidly sympathetic eyes. They might as well have been asking her if she was planning on killing herself tonight. She felt like she was an outsider even more than she had before.

How was it so easy for Gelatin to act like this? He told her that people lie all of the time to hide the cracks and flaws they all had but he seemed so genuine. He looked genuinely happy.

Wow, is that what it felt like? Seeing someone without their mask for a moment before they slipped it back on again? Just like she did before it shattered forever with the revelation of her struggles. Is this why everyone seemed surprised when she wasn’t actually this stupidly positive and cheerful woman but actually an extremely insecure person who struggled with seeing any worth in themself?

Huh. Who would have guessed?

Leafy groaned as she slinked back, letting Gelatin and Lollipop continue with their banter. She didn’t want to get in the way of them, not to mention, she’d probably just bum the mood down. She turned to Bubble who was fidgeting with her hands as she looked around. Her eyes met Leafy’s for a moment before she looked away. Another sign of her underlying discomfort around her because of her issues. She was probably thinking about how much better it would have been for her sake if Leafy was just normal, because no normal person suffered from random spouts of sadness and apathy for no apparent reason.

Yeah, Leafy was painfully aware that she wasn’t like the others. They didn’t suffer from feeling fine and dandy one second to feeling like nothing mattered and there was no point in continuing to breathe oxygen. None of them randomly got angry from the smallest of things that Leafy knew didn’t really matter but couldn’t stop herself from getting pissed about anyway.

Did any of them randomly lose the motivation to do pretty much anything but sleep in all day? Did any of them feel absolutely worthless about still being alive? Or frequently thought about what it would be like to be dead permanently?

Bubble was definitely thinking about her. She was thinking that if Leafy didn’t have to be such a screw-up and make things awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, then everything would be fine and they could all continue on in the competition without having to coddle her or hold her hand to make sure she didn’t go off and end her own life.

She was thinking that Leafy was nothing more than an attention-seeker asshole, right? She had to be. Bubble despised Leafy as much as she hated herself.

It suddenly hit her. She was doing it again. Leafy was spiraling. Focus. She needed to focus on something. One thing. What was she doing right now? She was walking. Right. To go read fan mail. Leafy was with her teammates and she was walking to go read her fan mail.

That was good. Now, what was something she liked? Well, she liked nature, obviously. Greenery always seemed to soothe her. Flowers were cute. She liked them as well. What else? Leafy also liked Fir-!

Stars. She liked stars. She meant stars.

Leafy took a deep breath to, “Hey, Bubble, what are you so nervous for?”

“Oh, uhh… nothing, Loify… I’m just a little nervous… that’s all. Reading fan mail and seeing what the world thinks of me is a little nerve-racking…” Bubble mumbled, “I mean, we’ve been doing this for years but I always get a little scared…”

Right. Idiot. Leafy was stupid. Why’d she go ahead and immediately assume it was about her? Of course, Bubble would be nervous about seeing what everyone else thinks about! Of course, it had nothing to do with Leafy. So goddamn stupid.

“O-Oh, yeah, right… that makes sense.” Leafy awkwardly chuckled, “Uhh, well, don’t worry! I’m sure everyone loves you, Bubble! More than they love me…”

It may have seemed like a joke but a part of Leafy truly believed it. People liked Bubble. People have always liked Bubble. After all, she was a part of the original twenty contestants in the first season of the series. And yeah, Leafy was too but her reputation took a hit after the whole “Dream Island stealing,” incident and never quite fully recovered.

“Self-deprecating humor really should not be your thing.” Gelatin interrupted, turning his head to look at her, “Leave the jokes to me, okay?”

Leafy stared at him incredulously, “You’re not the only one who can joke about things.”

“True! But I’m the only one of us who’s naturally funny so I win! Maybe if you become as charming as I am one day, then I’ll let you crack a joke or two! But, until then…” Gelatin smirked, sticking his tongue out at her before going back to his conversation with Lollipop.

She sighed. Did Gelatin think she was stupid? It was more than painfully obvious that he didn’t want her making fun of herself because he was worried she was using it as a way to cope with her own self-loathing. That wasn’t fair, now was it? How else was she supposed to deal with these feelings if she couldn’t make fun of herself?

It was at least better than telling herself how worthless she was and how much life would be better if she was no longer around, right? 

She probably knows why I told her not to make jokes like that, huh?

Gelatin sighed. That wasn’t good for Leafy. Belittling yourself like that was not going to help with anything. Sure, it may seem good since you’re finding an outlet for those feelings in a less destructive way than despising your own existence but it doesn’t make those feelings go away.

You would still be reinforcing those negative feelings and everyone knows telling everyone how worthless you are and how everyone else is better because they’re not you does not suddenly mean you’re better now. Those feelings are still around but you’ve simply put a bandage over and went, “Out of sight, out of mind.”

Gelatin would know from personal experience. Downplaying your own existence as a joke didn’t make Gelatin suddenly feel better; it made him feel worse. Leafy shouldn’t have to feel like that. If only she could just understand that everything he was doing was to help her feel better and more comfortable in her own skin. Leafy should learn to love and care about herself, as Gelatin did. He wanted her to see herself the same way he saw her.

As for why he was doing this? Well, it was obvious that he was doing it because he cared. Leafy was a good friend of his and everyone has that innate desire to help someone they care deeply about. It’s no surprise he wanted her to feel good about herself. Making someone else feel good about themselves made Gelatin feel good about himself.

But, he would be lying if he said it wasn’t also for his sake. His life was a bit of a mess so he was coping with it by compulsively helping out Leafy with her issues instead of dealing with his own problems because he didn’t know how. Everyone has their own way of coping with their issues and his way was either poking fun at his own self-dislike or helping others feel better so he didn’t have to ruminate on his own feelings.

Gelatin wanted to give off the appearance of being a kind, supportive friend who knew how to help others and keep things lighthearted, but he really had no idea what he was doing half of the time. Really, he didn’t think his advice was all that good or would even help Leafy. It was just the most generic “feel-good” garbage he could think of at that moment. But, if it made some type of impact on her, then he’d be satisfied.

And, by helping Leafy, it was almost like he was helping himself. All he really wanted was to be seen as useful to someone, for someone to say that their life had been improved because of him. If he could get Leafy to say that he helped her, then it would mean that his life did have value and there was something more than him than just merely existing and doing things.

Ha, how about that? Even if Leafy was struggling, a part of him was still doing this to alleviate his own insecurities. How pathetic. Maybe that’s why he felt so bad and connected with Leafy, because he knew exactly what she was thinking and felt.

He knew all too well that feeling of being a waste of space. That somehow, some way, even if it makes no sense at all, your existence was a mistake and you simply being alive is a burden that’s hurting those you hold dear to your heart. Everything he said to Leafy was something he wished someone told him back when all of these issues started.

Maybe if someone had, Gelatin would like himself more. He wanted to spare from those feelings of self-loathing as much as he could. Because, that’s what friends do. That shared misery was probably why Gelatin felt even more connected with Leafy. Misery loves company, a statement that is meant to say that unhappy people feel better and justified in their unhappiness if someone else is unhappy. Maybe that's what it was; two unhappy people feeding off of each other’s negativity.

“Hey, Gelatin, do you think she’s going to be alright?” Lollipop suddenly asked, gesturing her head towards Leafy.

“H-Huh? Uhh, I don’t know… I don’t think we should talk about her behind her back…” Gelatin replied.

“Well, why not? The last thing we need is for Leafy to have another public meltdown. Doesn’t look too good for our team.” Lollipop stated, striking a chord with Gelatin.

Gelatin gave her a half-disgusted look, “Lolli… you do know that Leafy is more important than BFB, right?”

Lollipop sighed and gave him an exasperated look, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Really? Cause it kinda sounded like you were more worried about your reputation than your friend.” Gelatin countered.

“Gelatin, don’t put words in my mouth. I wasn’t trying to imply anything of that nature. I was just…” Lollipop stated, taking a deep breath as she put a hand on her forehead, “This is strange, right? How do we… deal with this.”

Gelatin was starting to become a little annoyed, “Leafy’s not a problem for you to ‘deal with’ you know? She’s a person and she just needs us to show her that we care.”

“Yes, I know that already. Why are you getting so angry? You’re acting as if I said, ‘Hey, Gelatin, how can we get Leafy to be normal again so she won’t ruin our chances at winning BFB?’ You’re becoming awfully protective.”

“I just… I… I just… I care about our friends, okay? And I just want Leafy to feel better about herself. That’s all.” He said, his voice growing softer as he gulped.

Lollipop raised an eyebrow at the green dessert, “That’s an oddly suspicious statement. It seems like you care a bit more than the rest of us. Do you have something you wish to tell me? Or more accurately, tell Leafy?”

Gelatin’s heart skipped a beat with her statement and his face grew warm, “Ahaha, I… I don’t know what you’re trying to imply here but I’m just trying to be a good friend.”

“Sure… ‘friend.’”  Lollipop stated, intentionally dragging out the word ‘friend.’ “You can lie to yourself all you want, Gelatin, but you can’t lie to me.”

“Lolli… I like you but you are treading on some mighty thin ice here so I was you… I would probably end this conversation now.” Gelatin fired back, trying to keep himself composed. He couldn’t lose his temper here but he would be lying if he said that Lollipop was definitely not taking him there.

“And if I don’t?” She sassed.

“Lolli!” Gelatin snapped, now showing his frustration, “Don’t start. Please. What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me why you’re actually being so protective, because we both know it’s not just because you’re friends with Leafy.” She remarked.

His face grew warmer from the mixture of embarrassment and anger he was feeling, “You’re looking for something that doesn’t exist. Okay? Even if I were to, hypothetically, feel that way about Leafy, I couldn’t do anything about it. So, you might as well not bother me with these hypothetical feelings, okay?”

“Well, I don’t remember ever implying that you had feelings for Leafy. The fact that your mind went there says a lot, don’t you think?”

“Oh, don’t start with this. That’s obviously what you were trying to imply. Don’t try to have some “gotcha” moment by being like ‘Oh, well, I never outright said you have a crush on Leafy, the fact that you immediately assumed so proves you have subconscious feelings for her.’ Like, come on! What else could you have possibly been trying to say?”

Lollipop was silent for a moment. He was right, obviously. Her questions had been extremely specific to the point where there was no other reasonable or understandable interpretation of what she was implying.

“Okay, fine, do you want me to just come out and say it?” She questioned.

“Not really…” Gelatin mumbled, rubbing his arm.

“Do you have a crush on Leafy? This is a yes or no question so don’t even try to worm yourself out of this one.” Lollipop directly asked, now demanding an answer.

Gelatin sucked in air through his teeth, gaze fixated on the ground. He didn’t want to answer but he knew he should. By not answering, he would only be making Lollipop feel even more assured in her assumption about his feelings.

No. It was just one word. He could do this. Just the word, “No,” should be enough, right? Who cares if it wasn’t one hundred percent completely honest? He didn’t have to admit anything. Why did Lollipop care anyway? It was none of her business about what he felt. It wasn’t anyone’s business! His feelings weren’t anyone’s business.

It’s not like anyone cared about his feelings in the first place.

“…No, I don’t.” Gelatin responded, before his mouth began speaking faster than his brain could comprehend, “And even if I did, who cares? I don’t have to do anything about it if I did have some sort of crush on her. Crushes fade away all the time. Almost everyone gets a crush once in their life and it goes away eventually! So, even if I did have a crush on Leafy, which I don’t, I don’t have to acknowledge those feelings or act on them, okay?”

Lollipop blinked with a stunned look on her face, “…Yes or no. That’s all I needed to hear. But, ironically enough, your overly long and detailed explanation has only made me more sure that you do, in fact, have feelings for Leafy.”

“W-Well, of course I do! I have feelings for all of my friends! I have feelings for Leafy, for Firey, for you, and for Teardrop! I mean, it would be pretty weird to be friends with someone and not have any feelings for them, right?” Gelatin remarked, trying to brush the entire situation off with another nervous chuckle.

“Those aren’t the types of feelings I meant and you know it.”

Gelatin growled as his annoyance started to become more profound, “Okay, can’t you see that I really am not in the mood to talk about this?! Stop trying to push me.”

“What’s the matter, Gelatin? Why don’t you wanna answer a simple question?” She teased.

“Because I don’t want to, okay?! That’s the only reason I need to give! I. Don’t. Want. To. What do you want from me?! Do you want me to say, ‘Yes, Lollipop, I am madly in love with Leafy and you were right to completely ignore my boundaries and me politely asking for you to stop asking me about this so I can give you an answer that makes you feel satisfied!’ Is that what you wanna hear?! Does that somehow make you feel better about yourself?!” Gelatin thundered, now visibly pissed off.

Lollipop’s smug demeanor dropped into a look of remorse upon seeing the usually lighthearted Gelatin now angry and annoyed. His face was red with a mix of embarrassment and frustration and his hands were clenched up. She never meant for something like this to happen. She was trying to tease him a little, as friends do.

“I… I wasn’t trying to… I was just messing around-!” Lollipop stammered.

“Shut. Up.”

With that, the two of them walked in an awkward silence. Lollipop opened her mouth to say something but Gelatin shot her a dirty look that immediately made her look away from him and focused on where she was going, trying her best to not sneak another peek.

Shit. This is not what she wanted. Out of everything in this world, seeing Gelatin genuinely angry was one of the few things that actually scared Lollipop. To see such a lighthearted guy give in to

such anger was horrifying. Lollipop wanted to apologize but Gelatin looked like hearing her say anything to him was the last thing he wanted to hear.

With the newfound silence, Gelatin had more time to delve into his thoughts and he felt immediate guilt for what he said to Lollipop, even if he had only good reasons to say that. He didn’t like fighting. Arguing with his friends was one of the last things he wanted to do.

It made him uncomfortable if he wasn’t on good terms with people. He knew that he couldn’t be friends with everyone but he didn't want to be someone’s enemy or have this weird tension with people. He wanted people to be able to interact with him normally.

But still, Lollipop should have just listened to him. How hard was it to understand he had his limits and some things were just off-limit? He wasn’t being unreasonable; he was just expressing his boundaries and that didn’t make him a bad friend.

Even so, he didn’t want to turn this into an entire issue. Lollipop was a good friend of his and he liked to keep it that way. He liked spending time with her and the last thing he needed was for their relationship to be anywhere remotely similar to Leafy and Firey’s.

Mustering up the courage, he began speaking,“…Lolli, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.” Gelatin muttered, playing with his hands as he sighed, “I just… I just really don’t wanna talk about things like that.”

Lollipop looked at him with a much softer look, “But, why? Look, I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I was merely just trying to levity our conversation but I suppose I should have stopped sooner. I apologize for that but why can’t you act on your… ‘supposed’ feelings for Leafy?”

Gelatin sighed, not replying for a few moments. Should he tell her? He should just get it over with, right? By not telling her, he was denying himself of the release of his emotions and the weight off of his chest. He reasoned to himself that it would be okay as long as he played it off as a hypothetical situation.

“…Okay, if I tell you, do you promise not to tell anyone? And remember, I’m not saying this because I do like her but just as a “what-if” scenario.”

“...Okay.”

That moment. Lollipop faltered. Gelatin could tell that she didn’t believe him on his claim of this just being a “what-if.” She would never say anything out loud but Gelatin understood that she still likely believed he did have deeper feelings towards Leafy than he was acknowledging.

“…If I did have some sort of crush on Leafy, I couldn’t act on it because Firey is also into her. And he’s my best friend and I want him to be happy! I’ve seen the way he talks about her and she makes him really happy. I don’t want to get in the middle of that and cause a bunch of drama for no reason. Sometimes, you gotta stand aside and just let a good thing be.”

He continued, “And besides, love triangles are like one of the worst tropes ever made in fiction! It’s always the same old, ‘Oh no! I like this guy who’s been my best friend for years and is so obviously in love with me! But, I also like this other guy who just fell into my life and he’s so cool and mysterious and blah blah blah.’ I mean, seriously? How does anyone read that crap and not get bored? If I read a book like that, I’d fall asleep within the first few pages.” Gelatin chuckled.

Lollipop laughed as well.

“And it’s like, no one acts like that in real life! No one sees someone acting all flustered around you, being super nice to you and complimenting you and then goes, ‘Hmm, what a good friend I have.’ It’s ridiculous! I swear, anyone who says they like that crap is lying.”

“As humorous as this conversation is, I believe you were trying to make a point.”

“Oh, yeah…” Gelatin mumbled. Ah, shoot. He did it again. He made a joke and then ran with it to avoid thinking about his feelings. A coping mechanism of his. That’s why he liked joking around so much. It made things a lot easier to deal with if you could just have a little fun.

But, the time for games is over now.

“Yeah, uhh, my point is that Firey’s happiness is super important to me! And I don’t wanna go mucking it all up with my own feelings. He’s been my best friend for years and I really care about him, so I wouldn’t want to do anything that would hurt him. So, like I said, I don’t like Leafy but if I did, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.”

That’s what a good friend does; let their other friends be happy. Firey and Leafy would probably get together eventually. Sure, their relationship may not be exactly the best at this point in time but Gelatin could feel that it was inevitable that they would be able to reconcile their problems and return back to being friends again.

The two very still clearly cared for each other and were holding onto lingering feelings. They had a good thing going and who was Gelatin to disrupt their reconnecting with his own feelings?

He should just let a good thing be and let their relationship naturally develop back into a friendship before they stop beating around the bush and just admit their enduring love for each other and get together already. Gelatin wanted them to be friends again, for their bond to be rediscovered and grow. It would be selfish of him to do anything to get in the middle of their relationship.

If you saw anything about those two, you could clearly tell that they were a future couple in the making; they just needed to sort through their problems first.

If having them be friends again meant being on the sidelines of their dynamic, then Gelatin would be the greatest cheerleader known to object! Sure, it wasn’t the most pleasant feeling in the world but a little discomfort and heartbreak for him is a small price to pay for his friends’ happiness.

“And, well, it’s better this way… Those two deserve to be happy together and I don’t wanna get in the middle of that.”

Lollipop put a hand on him, “Gelatin, it’s nothing short of admirable that you care so deeply about your friends… but… you don’t have to think about everyone else? What about you? Does this choice make you feel happy? Because, the way you’ve talked about your reasoning makes me believe you’re only doing this so you don’t feel like a bad friend.”

“Making my friends happy makes me happy! I like knowing I made someone feel better about themselves.” He argued.

“Yeah, but what about you? Don’t you think that your own happiness should come first?”

“That’s selfish.”

“It is not!” She exclaimed, “Everyone in this world is looking out for themselves. It’s just a fact of life. Sure, we do naturally form connections and deep bonds, as with you and me, but when push comes to shove, we will always think about ourselves first and others later. Take us for example, you know I care about you and you care about me and of course I’ll be willing to help you out but to an extent. I’m not gonna get hit by a car for your sake and I wouldn’t expect you to do the same for me. This doesn’t make either of us selfish or bad people; it just means we value our own lives and happiness over each other’s.”

Gelatin huffed and crossed his arms, “Well, you don’t know what I’d do! Maybe I would jump in front of a car for you! How about that?”

Lollipop facepalmed and sighed, “Please don’t. Because, then I’d probably laugh at you for dying in such a ridiculous fashion.”

“But, it’d be a testament to our friendship and how much I like you!” Gelatin chuckled.

“Your affection for me is quite endearing but my point is, well, for starters; do not jump in front of a car for me!”

“Aww, but now you got the idea stuck in my head! If I jump in front of a car for you, then I’d prove that we’re super best friends and my undying loyalty to you.”

“That’s not a thing. And you’re missing my point. Caring about yourself and putting your needs first isn’t always a bad thing. There is only so much you can give and not want in return.”

“Well, I guess you’re right but still… it just doesn’t feel right to me to go ahead and try to get with Leafy. I’m sure someone else will come around for me but Leafy’s just not the one, despite what I’m feeling.”

“Well, that is your choice and I suppose I have to accept that. And, besides, I’m sure you’ll meet someone who likes you, eventually. And, if not, that’s fine too. Romance is overrated anyway.” Lollipop said.

He chuckled, “Ha. True.”

The two friends remained silent again as they continued walking. This was nice. Gelatin was glad he had Lollipop. It felt good to be able to just talk with a friend about whatever you felt like, whether it’s something deeper and serious or just stupid and silly.

Lollipop was one of his closest friends. Right next to Firey, Leafy and Teardrop. Well, he considered almost everyone to be a good friend of his but those guys were definitely people he felt the most comfortable talking to.

Lollipop’s fingers lightly tapped against her legs as she sighed. She should just let this conversation go but something else was nagging her. A persistent question inside of her head that wouldn’t leave unless she asked Gelatin.

Eventually she turned to him with a small sigh, “Okay, I know that you said you did not want me to mention it but can I ask you just one more simple question?”

Gelatin shrugged. One more question couldn’t be that bad.

“Fine. What is it?”

“I just… I wanna know why you feel this intense obligation to Firey. I understand he’s one of your closest friends but don’t you think he’d understand? There is no real responsibility on your part to cater to his feelings. He’s old enough to know that his feelings are simply his own and cannot dictate the actions of others. He was the one who caused the friendship between himself and Leafy to collapse so if something were to happen that prevented him from having a romantic relationship with Leafy, then he’d have no one else to blame but himself.”

He paused, thinking over her words. To an extent, she was right. Gelatin technically didn’t have to back off to appease Firey. He could try to pursue Leafy and if Firey got upset, then that’s that.

Still, he just couldn’t shake off the feeling that it would feel like a betrayal of their nearly decade-long friendship. It technically wasn’t but it felt wrong to jeopardize someone else’s happiness for his own. He couldn’t explain why but he didn’t like that feeling.

“Lolli, that doesn’t seem fair-!”

“It’s not about being fair. It’s about facing the consequences of your actions. Simply because he now feels guilty after a decade-long abandonment doesn’t mean you or me should now have to cater to his feelings so he can feel better about himself. He made his choice and now he has to accept the fallout of that decision; simple as that.”

“Okay, look, I get it! Firey messed up! He messed up badly and now Leafy’s dealing with a lot of stuff. I know that! But, doesn’t he deserve a second chance to prove himself?”

Gelatin continued with his impassioned speech, “What he did wasn’t the right move and I think he gets that by now. You haven’t seen the way he talks about himself nowadays. I’m pretty sure he hates himself way more than anyone else does. And I hate that, you know? I hate seeing someone I care about despise himself because I can see what he can’t!

“Firey’s an amazing friend and while he’s not the best person on the planet, he’s way more than some selfish prick who left his best friend for ten years. People are more than their actions because if they weren’t, then you, me and every other person on this planet would be seen as complete scum!”

“He wants to just move on and be better but he can’t do that if everyone else is constantly reminding him of his mistakes. No one’s saying he’s perfect or what he did was right but how can you ever expect someone to make up for what they did if you don’t give them a chance to show they’ve changed?”

Those were his honest feelings. He truly felt from the bottom of his heart that Firey was a good person. He had known the guy for years, he could see the goodness within him. He didn’t deserve to be treated poorly for a mistake he made when he was a kid.

Yes, people make mistakes and should be held accountable for those decisions but by how much? How much should someone be associated with one wrong move that they regret immensely, especially if they know that they were the one in the wrong and want to be better for next time? It wasn’t fair to Firey if all he was remembered for was being the guy who unintentionally traumatized his best friend.

Lollipop put a hand on her forehead as she sighed, “I understand you have strong feelings about Firey and I know you think I’m saying this because I hate Firey or I think he’s an awful person but it’s not the case. I do like him and I do want the best for him but ultimately, the question of whether or not he deserves a second chance isn’t up for me or you to decide; it’s up to her.” Lollipop remarked, gesturing her eyes behind them where Leafy was, still trying to talk with Bubble as Teardrop walked alongside them.

“We can debate about this all we want but our own personal opinion doesn't matter since it’s not our business to make a decision. We are nothing but mere spectators of their dynamic.”

That was true. As much as Gelatin wanted to help, there was only so much he could do. This wasn’t his fight nor his problem to solve. Everything ultimately rested on Firey and Leafy to come to terms with what happened and try to reconcile.

“Yeah, I guess you’re-!”

“What are you guys talking about?” Leafy suddenly asked, coming in between her friends. Gelatin and Lollipop looked at her before looking at each other and then back at her.

With that shared look came an underlying message from Gelatin; Don’t. Say. A. Word.

Lollipop was about to say something but Gelatin cut her off, “Nothing! Nothing important really. Lollipop was just telling me about her… fork repellent and how she was planning on selling it to her fans. Right, Lollipop?”

He gave a forced smile and Lollipop nodded her head, “Yes… considering I have quite the large fan base, why not give them what they desire? Some product made by yours truly.”

“Oh. Alright…” Leafy whispered, “Uhh, are you sure that’s what people want?”

“Why, of course it is!” Lollipop cheered, “Judging by the admiration people have for me, I’m sure they would adore any gift from me.”

Gelatin playfully shook his head, “Sounds like someone’s confident she’ll make it far.”

“Yes, yes, I suppose. I do not see any potential elimination for me in the near future. I am quite sure I’ll make it to the final three.”

“Must be nice to be so confident all of the time…” Leafy muttered to herself, feeling that same tinge of jealousy. Sometimes, she wished she could be just like Lollipop, she was someone she admired to be like. Someone who seemed to be able to take on the world with a smile on her face and have everyone adore her.

Unlike Leafy.

“Well, uhhh, okay… That’s all I wanted to know. I thought I heard you guys saying my name but I guess I was wrong…”

Lollipop and Gelatin shared another look.

“Umm, Leafy, are you… feeling alright today?” Lollipop questioned, causing Leafy’s mood to noticeably sour. There it was again. That same question of, “Are you feeling okay”. A question, not out of a desire to check in on you but a question that had the underlying meaning of, “Hey, are you thinking about killing yourself at this very moment?”

Maybe Leafy was being too pessimistic. Maybe Lollipop was really just asking to ask and it had no deeper meaning than that. Ultimately, she supposed it didn’t really matter what her intentions were, even if her tone of voice and the look Lollipop gave her made her think she was correct in her assumptions.

“I’m fine… Guess I’m just feeling a little bit nervous about reading our fan mail.”

“Ehh? How come?” Gelatin questioned.

“Well, some of my mail hasn’t exactly been… the best.”

Sure, most of it was love and affection. Fake love and affection but it was still there and worth mentioning. However, not everyone was the biggest fan of Leafy, as it comes with the status of being a semi-famous TV star, a lot of people didn’t like her. Of course, there were those who simply thought she was ugly or stupid or didn’t like her voice upon her sounding like “too much like a boy,” despite the fact that this was simply how she sounded like and she had no real control over.

That was pretty weird, wasn’t it? It wasn’t her fault that she just naturally had a deeper voice. Was she now supposed to be expected to apologize for not having the most feminine voice in the world? Well, she’s so sorry that after spending a few years on an island by herself and not speaking much for those years, her voice didn’t exactly develop properly.

Then again, this could just be because a lot of people originally thought she was a guy, which was pretty surprising. She didn’t sound that masculine, did she? Sure, she wasn’t exactly the most girliest person she knew but people should still be able to relatively make the correct assumption, right?

Well, it’s not like it mattered. Stuff like that, well, after a while, you tend to get used to the negativity. But, every now and then, she got a letter talking about how she stole Dream Island and how everything was her fault if she hadn’t been so selfish. Those were definitely not enjoyable messages to receive. They told her that she shouldn’t have bought Dream Island away from Firey and how her actions ruined a lot of people.

Those messages really got to her. The other stuff didn’t matter as much since they simply came with the territory. Every single contestant within the history of the show had a hater. Whether those reasons were valid or not didn’t really matter, as there were those who despised their existence for no real reason at all sometimes.

Whenever she got letters like that, all of those painful memories she had been trying to repress seemed to come rushing out. Guess it goes to show that you can never fully erase your past, no matter how hard you try to forget everything that happened in it.

“Dude, who cares about hate mail? Stuff like that doesn’t even matter!” Gelatin remarked, “Do you know how notes I’ve gotten telling me how much I suck or how annoying I am or how unfunny or some weird comment about my voice. Seriously, I will never understand why they care about our voices so much.”

She nodded her head, “True…”

“The point is you shouldn’t get so scared over stuff like that. At the end of the day, they’re just nameless and faceless people who wasted their time writing something that doesn’t really matter. Plus, we’re the ones on TV and they’re not!”

Gelatin was always pretty good at that, at taking her profound negative and making her see a more positive perspective. It was a charming little aspect about her friend that she would always appreciate. An anchor keeping her from completely giving into her sorrow.

“Gelatin’s correct! You need to not worry so much about small things like that. It really doesn’t matter all that much.”

“Well, I guess that’s easy for you to say. I bet you rarely get any hate mail at all.” Leafy muttered.

“Not true. You’d be surprised if you saw my letters. There is quite the number of folks who despise me on the basis of me being far too popular.” Lollipop, “Goes to show if you’re well-known enough, people will always find a way to hate you.”

Leafy hummed in response.

“Point is, don’t get overwhelmed by stuff like that. You gotta just let it fly right past you.”

That must be so easy for her, now wasn’t it? Leafy wasn’t like Lollipop. She didn’t have that self-confidence or the ability to not take every little insult to heart. How could she not see it as personal? How could she just let stuff like that not bother her?

Ha, maybe if she had a better self-perspective, everything would come easier to her.

“Alright, I’ll, uhh, I’ll try…” Leafy lied, knowing full well that even if she tried to have a more positive and forgiving mindset, that underlining self-doubt and negative would come through.

A few moments of silence passed by the trio before Leafy went back to trying to strike up a conversation with Bubble and Teardrop. Bubble was still looking a bit anxious, her eyes darting across the area to distract herself. Teardrop, on the other hand, was writing something down in her notepad, an alternative to the typewriter she usually used.

Leafy wondered what she was writing down. Maybe she was making another story, like the one she did during BFB 22. That was one of the few good things she could think about when reflecting back on that time. If she thought about it any longer, then she’d think about Firey’s lie, and their confrontation, and their talk at the cliff and all of that was just too much.

Speaking of Firey, she wondered what he was doing right now. Tomorrow, someone on his team was going to be eliminated. A part of her hoped it wasn’t him. Sure, he was… not exactly someone she had the fondest memories of but they couldn’t reconcile if he spent the next few months trapped in a cage and forced to spin around at neck-breaking speeds.

Poor Taco. She was the newest one eliminated, just losing to Flower by one vote. One singular person had the power between keeping Taco or Flower in the show and the soft-shell woman just so happened to not win their favor.

And now, because of this, she and everyone else who lost was now stuck in the BRB or also essentially a torture machine. Honestly, it was nothing short of a miracle that Leafy even made it this far. Too bad Ruby and Balloony had already lost and were stuck there.

And the same fate awaited Leafy if she lost early. At least, her team wasn’t the one on the chopping block. It was good that Firey admitted the truth. Leafy wanted to give him that one but yet again, he was also the one who screwed over his own team in the first place so it didn’t really work out.

She just hoped they weren’t giving him that hard of a time.

“Dude, you are being a bitch.”

Blocky grunted as he dragged Firey across the floor, straining his voice as he grabbed the flame’s hand. Firey had his feet digging into the dirt floor as Flower and Woody walked not too far in front of them.

“I’m not ‘being a bitch,’ I just don’t wanna go to this stupid thing anyway…” Firey grumbled as Blocky continued to force his body to move.

Going to read his fan mail seemed like a pain. It wasn’t necessarily that he was scared of what the letters would say, he was scared upon having to see everyone else again. He hadn’t seen the entirety of the remaining post-split cast since BFB 22 and that wasn’t exactly his most fondest moment.

Not to mention, Flower and Woody were still all pissy at him for getting their team up for elimination for no real reason, hence why they were pretty far up ahead of him and Blocky, probably talking shit about him to each other.

Well, he deserved it anyway for being such a dumb piece of trash.

Although, none of that was as scary as having to see Leafy again. Sure, they were on better terms than they were before but it didn’t mean that there still wasn’t this uncomfortable tension between them whenever they talked.

It’s not like he could really avoid her either. They had to talk eventually but every time he saw her, he couldn’t help but think about her potential reaction once he told her about what happened in IDFB. That guilt of keeping a secret from her wasn’t an enjoyable feeling. It ate him inside the longer he spent keeping this to himself.

“Bro, what are you so scared of? Having to see your girlfriend again?” Blocky asked with a hint of a teasing tone.

Firey rolled his eyes, “Very funny. At least the girl I like is still in the game! Unlike you!”

Blocky scoffed, “Dude, I already said that me and Taco had nothing going on.”

A smirk crossed Firey’s face, “I never said Taco’s name, Blockster.”

A small hint of red spread across Blocky’s face as he mumbled something in embarrassment. Firey smirked, feeling a sense of pride upon having teased Blocky. He was cute when he was flustered.

“Look, I’m just saying you’ve probably got the most obvious crush on her I’ve ever seen. Playing the denial game isn’t helping your case.”

“I don’t like Leafy, for the last time! Why does everyone keep thinking that I do?”

Blocky looked at Firey with a hint of skepticism, “Because… you do? Dude, one of us is gonna be eliminated tomorrow and you have like a twenty five percent chance of leaving BFB tomorrow. You might as well talk to her… and the rest of our team before tomorrow.”

He was right. Because of him, someone would be leaving tomorrow morning. And, even though he hadn’t really been thinking about it, Firey also had a chance of being eliminated. Even if he wasn’t, whoever did get eliminated would likely despise him for messing up this badly.

Firey needed to make amends with Woody and Flower but how? How could he do anything if neither of them were willing to even look at him? What could he possibly do or say that would make them talk to him?

“Well, what the hell can I do to make them talk to me? They’re all the way ahead of us just so they can avoid me!” Firey exclaimed, pointing to the Charming Centaury flower and the piece of balsa wood in front of them.

Blocky shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m not a fucking therapist. You gotta solve our own problems.”

“Oh, come on! We’re friends, aren’t we? They’re not pissed at you. Can’t you go tell them that I wanna talk?”

Blocky let out a sarcastic laugh, “Oh, yeah? And you think they’d just stop being angry because I asked them nicely? Grow up. It’s not that bad. You apologized to me, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but that was only because you actually let me and didn’t just blow me off. I mean, you were at the cabin, you saw how Woody looked at me back there. Probably told me to go fuck off and die in his head.”

Blocky groaned, “Bro, I know Woody and he’s not like that. Your brain is fucking with you and making you assume the worst of everyone. They won’t be pissed at you forever.”

“But, if they get out tomorrow, one of them is definitely gonna hold it over my head for the next ten years.”

Oh, like how you held onto a stupid grudge over a Ferris wheel for ten years and got Leafy traumatized? Maybe it would be evening the score if the same thing happened to you.

Fucking hell. That stupid voice again. An audible representation of his own fears and insecurities. He thought he got rid of this thing for now but he supposed he was wrong.

“Again. Not true. You gotta stop projecting and expecting everyone to hate you as much as you hate yourself. You have no real idea what’s going on through the heads of anyone so stop making dumb guesses and assuming everyone feels the same way about you. They’re just angry at you but it’s not like they’re thinking about how much of a waste of space you are or how much they want you to die. Flower and Woody hate what you did, they don’t hate you. Geez, you really gotta keep your negativity under control.”

“Well, if you were in my shoes, it’d be really hard to like yourself…” Firey mumbled.

“Look, I get it, you’re upset at yourself for fucking up but you can’t spend all day beating yourself up over it. The hell does that do? Do you really think anything is gonna change if you spend all of your time wallowing away in your own self-misery? You, me and everyone else has fucked up at least once in our lives but you don’t see me moping around.”

“Well, that’s so easy for you to say, Blocky! You don’t get it, do you? It’s not easy for me to forgive myself! I seriously hurt someone who I was supposed to protect and caused so many problems because I was being selfish! Leafy is legitimately hurt because of me and I can’t easily forgive myself for that!”

He continued, “I can’t just forgive myself over what I did. This isn’t something dumb like me and Leafy getting into a fight over something stupid and not talking for a week; this is me being a bad friend and abandoning Leafy when I should have been there!”

“Well, how the hell do you expect her to forgive you then if you can’t forgive yourself?! How are you gonna get her to like you if you so clearly hate yourself? At that point, it wouldn’t matter if she completely forgave and liked you again if you can’t do the same to yourself.” Blocky fired back.

“‘‘Cause you know what’s gonna happen if you don’t learn to forgive yourself? You’re gonna be friends with Leafy and feel like you don’t deserve it so your brain is gonna tell you that you don’t deserve it which is gonna make you do something to fuck everything up and turn things right back to where they started.”

Frustration. Firey hated that Blocky actually had good advice. He was right. How could he possibly expect Leafy to forgive himself if he couldn’t offer himself that same amount of kindness and compassion? It seemed so easy to let go of the past and his self-hatred but… how?

“I don’t know how to do that, Blocky! How am I supposed to just shrug off the fact that I seriously hurt Leafy? That’s not something I can just… forget about.”

Blocky slapped his forehead and grunted in annoyance, “Not what I meant, you dumbass. I’m not saying to forget what happened; I’m saying to acknowledge you did something shitty and not do it again. That’s all you can do, unless you somehow found a way to make a time machine before Tennis Ball and Golf Ball somehow.”

“No… I’m nowhere near as smart as those two are…” Firey mumbled.

“Point is, you’ve got two options here. One, you accept that you did something bad and forgive yourself for it to move on. Or two, you stand around and tell yourself how much of a useless piece of shit you are. So, what do you wanna do? Be Leafy’s friend or hate yourself? Because you can’t do both.”

What did he want to do? Well, he wanted to forgive himself, of course. It’s not like it was fun having this voice in his head constantly berating his existence and reminding him of how much of an awful person he was. Firey would love nothing more than to feel good about himself.

But, it was hard. An excuse he already gave but it was the truth. It was hard for him to be able to see himself in a positive light after knowing what he did. Especially considering he was still being dishonest and not admitting to sabotaging Leafy’s reputation back in IDFB.

“Well, it’s-!”

“‘Too hard.’” Blocky mocked, “I get it already, you’ve already said that! Everything is always going to be hard but it’s up to you if you wanna take the hard way or bitch out on it. Look, take my advice or don’t. I’m not your therapist so I can’t tell you what you should do, I’m just telling you what I think you should do. People aren’t gonna do shit for you so it’s up to you. What do you want to do?”

Firey was becoming even more annoyed. It was obvious what he wanted to do. He just didn’t know how! But how was he supposed to tell Blocky that if he just saw it as nothing more than an excuse?!

Firey took a breath, “I’ll… try, okay? I’ll try to be better and be more positive and be just… I’ll try, okay? Is that good enough for you?”

Blocky scoffed, “Trying’s the bare minimum. Trying’s the only thing anyone can do. Try all you want, I don’t give a shit.”

He walked ahead of him and Firey felt that same feeling of irritation began to wash over him as he quickened his pace to keep up with the red cube.

“Hey, you know, you’re kinda being a dick here. Are you trying to help me or not?”

“I am trying to help, which is why I’m telling you to do this on your own! You know that whatever’s going on between you and Leafy has nothing to do with me, right? It’s not my problem so you figure out what to do on your own.”

Blocky did care about Firey. Despite his harsh words and seemingly lack of sympathy, he did ultimately want the best for him. But, there was nothing that Blocky himself could do to help. This was Firey’s problem therefore it had to be solved with his solution. He could offer advice and assistance but ultimately Firey had to be the one to fix their relationship.

By being an asshole, Blocky was trying to help. Maybe Firey wouldn’t understand it and just think Blocky was being a jerk but if he was seen as the bad guy in this situation, that was okay as long as Firey did things on his own.

“Hey, jackasses, we’re here.” Flower shouted back at the two, preventing Firey from saying anything in response to Blocky’s assertion.

Blocky and Firey shared a look as they walked up ahead to the other Have Nots. Nerves gripped Firey’s heart as he walked forward to see Four and X standing in the middle of two tables. One for the Have Nots and one for the Have Cots. Stacks of letters were assigned to each area with a small piece of paper telling everyone who it was for.

Weirdly enough, judging by how it looked, it seemed Firey and Leafy had the most out of everyone. Firey wondered what that was about.

His eyes glanced over at the Have Cots. He looked over at Gelatin who was happily chatting with Lollipop before he noticed him. The green dessert gave Firey a cute smile and waved at him as Firey awkwardly waved back.

And then, his eyes fell upon her. Leafy. She was standing in between Bubble and Teardrop, just nervously looking around. A moment of sweet tenderness washed over as he gazed at her. This was creepy, wasn’t it? To be adoring her so openly in front of everyone.

Blocky was right. Firey really wasn’t good at hiding his obvious feelings.

“Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Wah, wah. Wah.” Woody stated, looking over at Flower.

“You’re right, Woody, I didn’t think the Have Cots would get here before us. But then again, they seem to be ahead of us in a lot of things lately because of a certain someone.” Flower replied, glaring at Firey.

“Oh, come on! That’s not even my fault! How are you gonna blame me for being a little behind?” Firey exasperatedly asked, “I know you’re mad about BFB 22… and 23 but you gotta let it go!”

Flower merely remained staring at him before scoffing and looking away. Firey groaned in frustration as he looked over at Blocky, who merely shrugged in response.

“See! What am I supposed to do when Flower gives me the cold shoulder?” Firey exclaimed.

“Well, you didn’t exactly go up and start apologizing. You know Flower has a big ego, just start praising her and degrade yourself a little. You seem pretty good at doing that nowadays anyway.” Blocky sarcastically remarked.

Firey scowled, “Hardy, har-har. You’re so funny, Blocky.”

“I know I am.”

“Ahem! Contestants, how are you guys feeling today?” Four asked, cutting off their little conversation and having everyone’s eyes focused on them.

“Uhh, I’m doing alright-!” Leafy started to say.

Four raised his hand dismissively, “Oh, my bad, that was a rhetorical question.”

That doesn’t even make sense as a rhetorical question, what? Don’t be a dick to Leafy…

Oh, so now you’re feeling all protective all of a sudden. I wonder where this feeling was when you left her to die in Yoyleland.

Goddamnit. Even in his own thoughts, he couldn’t escape his self-hatred and profound guilt. How was he supposed to let all of this go if he wasn’t safe even in his own head?

X coughed, “What he’s trying to say is that your fan mail has come in today! Yay! Isn’t that exciting?”

No one said a word.

“…Oh.”

“Well, anyway, go grab your letters and head back to your cabins. We’ll see the Have Nots here tomorrow for their elimination.” Four announced.

Upon hearing that his team was going to be up for elimination tomorrow, Firey’s heart skipped a beat. Blocky was right, he was being stupid. Today was his last confirmed day to be here before his fate was left in the hands of the viewers.

He couldn’t spend the rest of thx day wasting away, having achieved nothing. Firey knew he would likely berate himself if he didn’t, at least, try to talk to his teammates or Leafy for the potentially last time.

Everyone walked up to their respective tables and each grabbed one letter from their pile. Firey looked down at the one in his hand, wondering to himself what it could be about. He was a decently popular contestant on the show so it was probably someone telling him how much they liked him and wanted him to win.

He tore the top off and pulled out the piece of paper inside, starting to read down the letter.

“Hey, Firey! First of all, you were my favorite contestant back in BFDI and I loved watching you throughout the years. And if you’re reading this, then that’s honestly super cool and I’m really happy!”

A warm smile crossed his face. It was nice to know that even when he was feeling down, he always had his fans to lift him up and encourage him to keep going. Firey continued reading the letter.

“But, uh, not gonna lie but you fucking suck.”

What.

“After seeing what happened in BFB 22, I’m honestly kinda appalled at you even still being allowed to participate. You stole Donut’s diary because you wanted a prize? BFDI has been over for about a decade now. Let Dream Island go. This isn’t even talking about how you lied about seeing Leafy steal and then went out there to make her apologize to you??? Are you like brain dead or something? You stole a prize that you knew everyone else wanted because you’re a selfish prick?”

What. What was this? What was he reading? This… shouldn’t be happening. He had never gotten a letter like this before. Sure, some people didn’t like him but this felt oddly more personal.

“Not to mention, you caused Leafy to have a whole-ass mental breakdown. How do you not feel ashamed of yourself??? Like honestly you caused her so much mental problems that I feel like you should be eliminated from the show just for that alone. And it’s a shame too because I actually used to really like you and I even felt bad that you got your prize stolen from you but you acted like such a dick I can’t defend you. So, you can probably guess who I automatically didn’t vote to save. Hope you get eliminated, dickhead.”

He couldn’t believe this. What was he reading? How could someone send him this? And how could they possibly know about what happened during BFB 22?! Weren’t all of the cameras only inside of the courtroom? No one should know about what happened outside of him and Leafy, right?

Maybe… Maybe it was just one bad letter. Yeah, it had to be! Firey got hate mail all of the time so this should be nothing new… right? Yeah, that had to be it.

He picked up another letter and began to read it.

“Literally such a disgusting person I feel gross even writing to you. You should honestly feel awful about yourself. I used to be like the biggest Fireafy shipper but I can’t ship one of my favorite contestants with a disgusting piece of shit like you. I don’t get how you can wake up every day and not feel sick when looking at yourself in the mirror, you insensitive, pathetic fuck. Literally please do everyone a favor and fuck off somewhere so I don’t have to your repulsive ass.”

Ouch. That hurt. No, it stung. Or maybe it burned. A harsh feeling gripped his face as he read the letter. Why was this happening? This shouldn’t be happening. Firey shouldn’t be reading these letters and yet he couldn’t stop.

Perhaps it was a morbid curiosity for how bad they could get. Maybe a part of him was curious to know how creative people could get when insulting his entire existence. Maybe he was hoping for a positive message inside of the sea of negativity. Waiting for something to make this self-inflicted emotional pain worth it. Or maybe he had a subconscious desire to read this to fuel his own negative self-perception. Reading these letters only strengthened his belief that he was as awful as they said he was.

“Like you must be a comedian because it’s so funny you think Leafy should apologize to you for what? Making you abandon her? As someone who had a mental breakdown before, it’s no fun and you caused Leafy to have one like how do you not feel gross about that? Please fuck off. I assure no one gives a fuck about Dream Island. Please let it go, no one cares about some dumb prize you lost when you were a kid. Must be embarrassing to hold onto a grudge for years. That’s probably how everyone feels about you. They probably think you’re an embarrassment and are ashamed to say they know you. I really hope you wake up tomorrow and everyone beats the shit out of you because we all know you deserve it.”

The scariest thing about receiving this letter wasn’t the harsh words directed his way. It wasn’t the insults or even the threat of violence at the end. The scariest part was that Firey’s first and immediate thought was; “Yeah, I deserve it.”

The first words that came in his mind was him telling himself that the person who wrote what should be an objectively cruel and humiliating letter to receive was somehow actually correct on their assumptions. That Firey did deserve to be unanimously shamed and condemned by everyone he knew. That he was an embarrassment and a stain onto everyone else.

Why was he doing this to himself? Why did he feel this urge to punish himself? All of this was bullshit, he knew it was bullshit! They were just taking one really bad moment from him and making it seem like that’s all he was; just his faults and nothing else.

And yet, he couldn’t stop himself from picking up another letter and opening it. On it were four simple words written in large black ink.

“FUCK. YOU. KILL. YOURSELF.”

For a moment, everything seemed to shut down. In those ten seconds it took to read those four words, Firey’s world fell apart. It was strange, four simple words put together had so much… malice behind it. Firey could feel the profound level of anger and hatred from the person who wrote this.

This wasn’t like the other letters. This wasn’t some lengthy takedown of his character; this was someone demanding he do something awful to himself due to his perceived lack of morals. In four words, someone had managed to tell Firey how much they despised seeing him exist.

He understood what was happening now; somehow, everyone saw his confrontation with Leafy from BFB 22 and hated the fact that he caused her so much mental distress that all of his fans now hated him.

The worst part was that whoever wrote this might have been a fan. They might have completely loved and adored Firey but just one moment changed their perspective on him to the point where they felt justified in telling him to remove himself from life in general.

And Firey would never know who sent this. For the rest of his life, these words would circle around his mind and he couldn’t even have the bare minimum of knowing who sent him this. As far as he knew, this letter just appeared.

By telling him to kill himself, this letter told him a lot. It told him that this person hated him, thought he wasn’t even worthy of being alive and that his existence was so intolerable, so inherently evil and harmful to those around him that the only possible solution for him was to simply stop existing.

What did this do? Who did this help? Was devaluing him and devastating him somehow helping Leafy, considering that he was only receiving this hate mail in some skewed way to make Leafy feel better? Did this make the author feel better about themself? Were they now proud of themselves? Was Firey that worthless in their eyes? That he was now just a lightning rod for negativity and not his own person with feelings and emotions like everyone else?

All this really did was amplify his already existing self-hatred and guilt. It was one of his worst fears now externalized; that everyone hated him as much as he hated himself and he was deserving of criticism and scorn from others. Was this some form of cosmic justice? Was this the universe trying to “even the score” between him and Leafy? That as he ruined her reputation, she unintentionally ruined his career. Or maybe, he ruined his own reputation and was now dealing with the fallout from his past mistakes.

How much more? How much more did he need to suffer for whoever was out there to feel satisfied? How much more did they want him to despise himself? To feel guilty about what he did? Who out there had this much contempt for him to put him through this?

Firey’s eyes glanced over to Leafy, who wasn’t paying attention to him and had all of her attentiveness focused on opening her own letter.

Leafy had no real expectations or high hopes for whatever this letter would contain. Maybe some praise, maybe some criticism. With her, it tended to be more fifty-fifty.

Taking a deep breath, she tore open the letter.

“Leafy! Let me just straight this off by saying you’re so pretty! I know that doesn’t have anything to do with anything but I just wanted to tell you that!”

Leafy felt herself slightly blush from the compliment. That was oddly sweet of a random stranger to say.

“Anyway, with that out of the way, I just wanna say that it’s so nice that one of my favorite contestants in the show is actually showing signs of bad mental health! Well, not in that way but like… it’s nice to see someone struggle with the same thing I do and a lot of others do as well! I totally relate to that feeling of being a useless person and a burden on everyone.”

What.

Leafy blinked a few times as she read over the letter again. Did they just talk about her mental health struggles? How could they have possibly known about that? She had kept everything under wraps for a while now. The only thing that could have made sense was during her panic attack a few days ago and even that wasn’t recorded.

It… It wasn’t recorded, right? She didn’t expose her struggles to not the other contestants on the show but to every single viewer who watched the episode, right? Right?!

“Seeing your mental breakdown during BFB 22 made me feel so sorry for you. I don’t think anyone knew how bad you had it. I mean, I always felt sorry for you but now I feel even worse. You were totally right in that fight by the way, Firey is a selfish asshole for caring more about an island and a Ferris wheel than you.”

Hey! That wasn’t fair! Firey… He… He wasn’t that bad! And wait a minute, they mentioned her breakdown during BFB 22, but no one should know about her besides her and Firey. The only way the author of this note could even know about that was if… if it was recorded and shown to every single person who watched the show…

Oh. Oh no. This isn't happening. Not to everyone. Not to all of her fans. It was one thing for eight other people to know about her struggles but it was another thing for millions of strangers to know about it as well! Leafy was barely accepting the fact that everyone else knew how weak and vulnerable she really was, but if everyone else who watched the show knew…

Leafy felt herself starting to hyperventilate, her lips trembled as her body shook. Everybody knew. And this was far worse than last time. Millions upon millions of complete and utter strangers now knew and she couldn’t do anything about it. Whatever people did with that information was out of her control.

They all knew. They were all judging now, telling each other how pathetic she was. That she was a stupid waste of space and her continued existence was actively hurting everyone around her.

They were telling each other how she should probably go up and just-!

Leafy stopped, now feeling a sudden weight added to her. She looked down to see Gelatin, with his hands wrapped around her and pulling her into a hug. His eyes were closed as he nuzzled her chest.

Her eyes widened at the affectionate gesture, “Wh-What are you…”

“…I don’t know. You just looked like you needed a hug.” He softly replied.

Leafy stared at him for a moment, feeling her face growing hotter. She had forgotten how nice a compassionate touch from someone felt. It was like a sense of peace was washing over her body as she hugged him back, slowly feeling herself calming down.

A sweet tenderness overcame the pair as they embraced each other. A warm smile spread across Gelatin’s face as he nuzzled her once again.

“…Thanks.” She replied.

Gelatin’s smile got wider, “It’s no problem. What else are friends for?”

Firey watched the two of them hug, feeling an odd sensation of heat bubbling in his chest. He wasn’t… jealous, was he? No, of course not. These were two of his friends. Well, Gelatin was his friend but Leafy would be too soon enough. There was no reason to get upset about two friends hugging… intimately.

Still, a feeling of discomfort found a place in his heart, even if he tried to put it aside. A small feeling of wanting that to be him. He wanted to be the one who gave comfort and solace to Leafy. He wanted her to be in his arms, hugging him. It really wasn’t fair.

Fuck, why couldn’t that be him? Firey knew there was no logical reason to be jealous but his emotions wouldn’t let him be calm. That should be him. He should be the one giving her affection and comfort and solace. Curse this stupid fiery body of his. Why did he have to be born with the ability of killing anyone who he touched?

It kept him from being with the one person he loved.

But, then again, he didn’t deserve it. Firey looked down at the lovely letter in his hand, the words of “FY. KYS.” still reeling around in his mind. This is what he deserved. Everyone hated him for what he did to Leafy and everybody probably now loved her due to her being a victim of his own toxicity.

Firey looked down at the ground as Leafy turned towards him. She noticed how upset he seemed, with a slip of paper in his hands. An immediate sense of empathy washed over her. Something was bothering him and she wanted to figure out what that was.

“Hey, uhh, not to be rude or anything but would you mind letting me go?”

“O-Oh! Yeah, uhh… sorry…” Gelatin shyly replied as he let go of Leafy. He watched her as she walked over to Firey, who noticeably tensed up when he saw her coming towards him.

Oh shit! Oh shit! Leafy’s coming over here! Uhh, think, idiot! Act natural! Act normal. Don’t be weird. Just be normal for five minutes.

“Hey, Firey…” Leafy awkwardly said, “You, uhh, are you… Are you feeling alright?”

Ugh, she hated this. There was still far too much tension between the two of them to act comfortably around each other. All of these unspoken feelings made it difficult for Leafy to just relax in his presence.

“I’m… fine…” Firey lied, the words from the hate mail still lingering his mind. “Fuck you. Kill yourself.” was the only thing he could think about. It pained him heavily to know that one of his fans now hated his guts so much to where they thought the world would improve with his absence.

Leafy knew he was lying. Maybe it was obvious or maybe she knew him that well but she had this feeling of knowing he wasn’t being honest. Firey clearly wasn’t fine. Why didn’t he want to tell her? Perhaps he was worried about burdening her with his own issues, just like she had thought before.

“Firey, we’re… pals, remember? You can talk to me.” Leafy stiffly said, internally cringing as she forced out the word “pals” as if she had never heard it used before.

She still felt strange about calling them “pals.” Friends would be a more fitting word but they weren’t exactly friends, now were they? Was this leading Firey on? Was she a bad person for not calling them friends yet, or even really thinking all that much about forgiving her? So much had happened within the past two days that it was hard to keep her mind steady.

“Oh, yeah, we are… but, uhh, r-really, nothing’s wrong… I’m fine.” Firey responded, his underlying hurt now evident in his voice. He couldn’t stop himself from replaying the words over and over in his head.

“Fuck you. Kill yourself. Fuck you. Kill yourself. Fuck you. Kill yourself.”

As he was distracted, Leafy looked over at the note he was still clutching in his hand. Absent-mindedly, she snatched it out his hand, hearing him yelp out in surprise as she held the note up to her face and read it.

“FUCK. YOU. KILL YOURSELF.”

Her eyes widened in shock as she read those four words. Was this Firey’s fan-mail? Is this what someone had sent him? How could someone send him something so… hurtful? Even during moments where Leafy was absolutely pissed off with Firey, something like this would never cross her mind. Was this some sort of twisted way of showing her support? By bringing down Firey?

She looked up at Firey, who began to chuckle nervously as an automatic response, “Uhh… that’s, uhh, that’s really nothing! No need to worry about that.”

Leafy glanced down at the note and back to Firey, “Firey, this…”

“It’s nothing, okay?! I mean… we’ve gotten hate mail before, right? So, this isn’t anything new…” Firey stated, trying to sound as lighthearted as possible but ultimately failing. Why couldn’t he be more like Gelatin? He would probably take a letter like this and not like it bother him. Was Firey just weak?

“There’s really no point in making a bigger deal than it has to be. I mean, someone doesn’t like me? Big deal. Plenty of people out there probably hate my guts so this is no different!”

“Firey, saying everything was fine was the same thing I did because I thought it would help me and as you see, I’m clearly still not fine. So, it’s not gonna help you either by lying to me and yourself. What are you really feeling?” Leafy sternly replied, trying to get Firey to open up.

Firey was silent for a few seconds, “Why do you even care?”

“…I don’t know. I guess I just feel bad… since this is my fault.”

Leafy felt guilty for unintentionally causing this. Even if she knew it wasn’t her fault for having a mental breakdown and then having that recorded without her knowledge to all of the viewers on the show, she still felt bad that Firey was being treated like this in some fucked up way to defend her honor or something like that.

“Leafy, don’t say that. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is just… payback or whatever. Everybody now hates me… I guess I know how you felt after BFDI…” He mumbled softly.

“Still, that doesn’t mean you deserve this. Don’t you deserve better than to have a random stranger telling you that you need to die?”

“…Not really. This is what I deserve. I’m… not a very good person, Leafy. So, this is nothing but my comeuppance, I guess… I deserve to be despised like this.”

“Firey, stop that! That’s not true.” Leafy demanded, grabbing onto his hand which made him noticeably flustered, “Not everybody hates you… because I don’t hate you.”

Ba-dump.

Firey felt his flame grow hotter with that admission. Leafy was far too sweet for her own good. Not to mention, she was still holding onto his hand. It felt really good to be touched by her.

No! No! Don’t notice stuff like that. Just be normal around her. You’re gonna weird her out if you don’t relax. This isn’t anything to even get worked up about. You’ve held her hand before and she’s just being nice. Don’t make it into anything weird.

What a stupid crush I have. There’s no way Leafy’s ever gonna really like me. We’re not gonna become a thing but I can’t stop thinking about it. Man, she has no idea what she does to me.

“You… don’t hate me?” Firey asked, repeating the words to himself to confirm he heard her correctly.

Leafy blushed as she awkwardly fumbled through her next words, “Well, I mean… I don’t particularly like you or what you did but… I don’t hate you. I never hated you… So, you have one person who doesn’t hate you, ahaha…”

She continued, “And, you know, I’m still really sorry you got that letter. And… I’d… I’d miss you if you were gone forever… You can… take that as you will.”

Firey felt a bit lighter with her comment as he softly smiled, as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. It was nice, a normal and sweet comment is all he needed to hear and it was definitely a bonus hearing it from Leafy.

“Thanks, that… that does make me feel a little better.”

Leafy smiled a bit as well, “That’s good. I… I like that you’re feeling better. I think… it makes me feel a little better.”

Oh shit? She just complimented you! Well, kinda but this is even more proof that you matter to her. Say something to her! Make a move or compliment her! Today is your last chance to talk to her before you might, or considering how your own fans see you at this point, before you are eliminated tomorrow.

Right. If the “fan” mail he received today told him anything, it would be that he wasn’t exactly perceived in the best light right now. Everyone likely voted to save anyone else but him. This… This was the end, wasn’t it? Once tomorrow arrives, Firey would be eliminated.

Come on, just tell her how you feel. You’re not gonna have a second shot at this.

“Uhh, Leafy, I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m probably going to be eliminated tomorrow.”

Leafy slightly looked away, “…Oh. I… I see…”

Firey was going to be eliminated? A part of her couldn’t believe it but it seemed like the most likely outcome. So, that would mean this would be one of the last times they talked. But, it didn’t have to mean this was the end, right? They could always talk again after BFB was over.

“Well, it’s not the end of the world. I mean, you got eliminated in BFDIA and I got eliminated in BFB 3… before I got voted to rejoin, and we’re both still alive and kicking so… you know…”

“Oh, yeah… I guess that’s true…” He mumbled out.

It didn’t feel right though. He didn’t want to be eliminated, not like this. He wanted to reconcile things with Leafy as soon as possible and he couldn’t do that if he was stuck in the Big Rotating Building! And, he also wasn’t looking forward to being stuck in that tall tower… stuck in a cage… with no chance of being able to escape. It didn’t help that the BRB looked scarily a lot like the Yoyleneedle, the place where Firey was locked up by Pencil and the rest of FreeSmart.

Going over there would feel like reliving an awful moment in his life. Ever since yesterday, he had so many questions about what happened during IDFB and at the same time, he didn’t want any answers. If his own mind perceived it as too traumatic for him to handle to the point where he repressed any memories of that time, then would it really be a good idea to dwell back on that time?

“But, if I get out, then, I won’t be able to fix things with Flower and Woody.” Firey impulsively stated.

Leafy looked confused, “Huh? What happened?”

Firey winced, sucking in air through his teeth, “Well, they aren’t too happy with the whole… ‘diary-stealing incident’ and me skipping out on the challenge yesterday. I-I mean, Blocky was too but we’re cool now…”

Good. That was the first word that popped into Leafy’s head; good. An odd sense of satisfaction washed over her as she heard that Firey was dealing with the frustration of his teammates. There it was, that lingering resentment towards him.

Despite all of their recent positive moments, none of that was strong enough to overtook that underlying hatred towards him. Of course, Leafy hated him slightly. How could she not? Firey was the one who caused the chain of events that led to her being this way. Of course, there was always going to be that small part of her that despised him and felt some sick satisfaction in seeing him in emotional pain.

“I... see…” Leafy said, forcing out the words, “How does that feel like?”

“It’s so annoying! I’m just so frustrated that Woody and Flower won’t talk to me!” Firey exclaimed, looking irritated, “You have no idea how much that drives me crazy! I mean, you probably don’t know how that feels, to want to talk to someone but they completely blow you off like you don’t even exist.”

Leafy gave him a deadpan look as she slightly scowled. A bit of cruel irony; Firey was venting about the same exact thing he did to her for years. He was really standing here, venting to her about the same thing he did to her. Now, he felt exactly how she felt when he cut off all contact with her for years and completely brushed her off whenever she tried speaking to him.

Annoyance bubbled up inside of her as she spoke, “Yeah, I would definitely never know… I have no idea how it feels like to be completely ignored by someone for one thing you did and then have them act like you were strangers and not ex-best friends. But hey, look at the bright side, you’re only being ignored for a day! It’s not like they're gonna stop speaking to you for the next ten years, unlike me.”

Firey shuffled awkwardly as his eyes shifted to the left and right. She wasn’t talking about Woody and Flower anymore, was she?

“Uhh, Leafy, I-!”

“And, at least whenever you try to talk to them, they don’t completely blow you off like you’re some kind of ghost. Or look at you like you’re a stranger they’ve never seen before despite being best friends for over two years. And whenever people notice you’re talking to them, you get berated and have that one little incident where everyone thinks you messed up drilled in your head over and over again. It doesn’t feel very nice to have your entire personality reduced to, ‘Island thief,’ huh?!”

Firey gulped, now starting to feel himself back up as Leafy grew more frustrated. The first thing he thought of was how similar this felt to their original confrontation. With Firey saying one thing that triggered Leafy and her growing increasingly angry while he was left speechless.

She continued, “And you try desperately to get them to notice you so you can finally have a normal conversation and what’s the first thing that happens when you finally talk? Oh, you start arguing, of course! And even if you still care about them and you want to try to talk, they just won’t give the time of day and you can’t even know why because, guess what, they won’t talk to you and you have no idea why!”

All of the remaining post-split contestants began to take notice of their one-sided argument. Eyes began to look over the pair as Firey whimpered.

“Oh, and, the real kicker is the next time you talk, they tell you that they stole a diary that they knew everyone else was interested in for his own selfish desires because he’s still upset over losing ‘muh island’ and then demands that you apologize for something that completely his own fault in the first place! And you’re left there wondering how this guy could even imagine feeling entitled to an apology when he ABANDONED YOU FOR TEN YEARS AND DIDN’T SEEM TO CARE IF YOU DIED ALONE! I STOLE EVERYTHING FROM YOU AND NEVER APOLOGIZED? YOU RUINED MY LIFE AND NEVER GAVE A SHIT UNTIL A DECADE LATER!”

And there it was; the showcase of Leafy’s lingering bitterness towards Firey. Despite all of the progress they had seemingly made, all of that hatred and disdain bubbled from underneath the surface.

No matter how much they tried to rebuild their relationship, none of it would matter if Leafy couldn’t let go of her negative feelings about Firey.

Firey looked down at the floor in shame, rubbing his arm with a remorseful look on his face, “…I’m sorry, okay? I already apologized a million times for that. What else do you want from me? What more do I have to do for you? How much worse do I have to feel for you to feel better? Do you… even want to be friends again? Or do you just want me to hate myself as much as you clearly hate me…”

Revenge. Firey was asking her how far her desire for revenge was going to take her. Why was she really doing this? Had she already given up on the idea of reconciling with him and was just more keen on dragging Firey along to make him feel worse? What was she doing?

It was only now that she noticed that everyone else was staring at the two of them. Their faces said it all; they weren’t even all that surprised. It was like them getting into an argument was an inevitable outcome for any of their conversations to conclude.

They were all staring at her, for she was the one who started this. Gosh, what was she doing? Firey had just received a letter from someone telling him he’d be better off six feet underground and he was clearly already upset and dealing with a lot of things. And Leafy used that as a chance to take a cheap shot at him and berate him for something he already felt extremely guilty about.

Leafy had to remember to keep her emotions under control. Making Firey feel even more guilty wasn’t going to fix their strained relationship, or make her feel better. Her words had a lot of impact on Firey, especially considering his feelings for her. Any time she berated him, it would hurt him way more than some random stranger.

She was practically kicking an already wounded animal to make herself feel better.

Her expression soften as she tried to walk towards him, “Firey… I… I don’t mean that. I was… I mean… I don’t actually hate you… I…”

She still loved him. Yes, there may have been a lot of hurt, pain and bitterness but she was still very fond of the guy. A very love-hate sort of relationship. She loved him, she hated him. Leafy loved hating him and hated that she loved him.

Meanwhile, Gelatin watched his two friends with a sense of sympathy. No! This was the last thing he wanted. He knew that they still had their issues but he didn’t want to see them arguing again. He thought they were making some real progress.

“…Why am I not surprised? This is what she always does. She makes her own problems everyone else’s…” Bubble muttered, just quiet enough to where Gelatin didn’t hear her.

He snapped his head back to her, “What was that?”

Bubble’s eyes widened as she noticed her whispered words had been caught on by Gelatin. She fumbled out an excuse, saying something along the lines of, “O-Oh, I didn’t say anything…”

He wasn’t convinced. Gelatin knew for a fact that he heard her say something. He looked at her skeptically as he stepped towards her, “Bubble-!”

“I gotta go! Bye!” Bubble announced, walking away from him before he could even get a word out. Gelatin did nothing but watch as she hurried and shuffled off.

That was weird.

Back with Firey and Leafy, she kept trying to walk closer to him but Firey kept backing up. For a moment, her mind flashed back to BFB 22. Right back to their confrontation where Leafy completely blew up at Firey. The moment that even led to what was happening right now.

For those small, few seconds, Leafy could see Firey with that same fearful look, holding the diary and trying to get away as if she were some horrifying threat to his well-being. A visual reminder that mentally, both of them were still stuck in that moment.

Sure, they physically moved on from that moment as life goes on, not caring about their feelings or their relationship. But, mentally, they were frozen in time. Their feelings hadn’t changed all that much. Leafy still hated him and Firey was still scared of her.

And she hated it! She didn’t want to hate Firey. She didn’t want to keep fighting with him. Holding onto her negative feelings was exhausting. Leafy wanted to let go of that past and try to move forward with him by her side but she couldn’t. Leafy felt like she couldn’t trust him, not fully.

She stopped walking towards him and he stopped trying to get away from her. All that was left now was a deafening silence that overtook everyone. Tension seemed to gripped at the air and at everyone else as time seemed to just stop for a moment.

At least, before Four spoke up.

“Okay, that’s it! I don’t know what’s going on with you two but I’m getting sick of it! It’s like you guys can’t even be five feet near each other without something going down!” Four barked, “Either you two deal with this or else! Are you not embarrassed? You do realize everyone saw that-!”

Leafy looked down at the floor in embarrassment, “…This is my fault. Firey didn’t do-!”

“Now we’re gonna get even more questions about the ‘ethics’ and ‘morals’ about this show from all of the viewers. How great…”

Her eyes widened, “…What? Wait, what?! People are… watching this? This is being recorded?!”

“No duh. Why wouldn’t it be? Fans love seeing your guys’ reaction to reading your letters.” Four nonchalantly stated.

To Four, it may have meant absolutely nothing that this was recorded but to Leafy, it meant a lot. It meant that everyone not only saw her breakdown back in BFB 22 but now also saw her lose it at Firey.

“So… doing BFB 22, you… also were recording outside of the courthouse?” Leafy asked.

“Of course. We gotta keep the cameras rolling in case we capture anything interesting. It’s no secret that everyone would have wanted to know what you and Firey were talking about.”

A break. Something felt like it snapped. This was Four’s fault. All of this was Four’s fault. The reason why her struggles were now out in the open for millions of strangers to see was because of Four. Because he had no idea what privacy meant and how not everything should be recorded twenty-four-seven.

Her eyebrows burrowed in on themselves as she glared at the blue number, “You-!”

“Hey, Firey, Leafy, uhhh… it looks like we forgot a letter for you guys. Both of you have one.” X suddenly interrupted, holding up two envelopes. He had a forced grin on his face, likely trying to keep the mood light and to make sure Leafy didn’t snap at Four.

This was all he really could do. If Leafy had yelled at Four, things likely wouldn’t have gone too well. Who knows what they would have done to her.

“What? We do?” She asked.

“Yep! And it looks like it’s from…” X trailed off, squinting at the letters, “…Coiny and Pin.”

A sense of shock and surprise hit both of them like a truck with the mention of those names. Pin and Coiny. Two contestants from the very beginning. Both of them were on their old team, “The Losers,” back when BFB still had all of its original contestants. Of course, they were gone now, having run off to join Two’s show.

Firey and Leafy both looked at each other and then back at X, opening their mouths with the same word coming out at the same time.

“What?”

On a beach on an island far away, a red pushpin and a bronze coin stood at the edge of the water, watching the waves crashing into each other. The sun burned brightly as the pushpin sighed.

The bronze coin looked up at her, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need a minute.” She replied, still staring off blankly, “You know, I’m really glad we joined TPOT. I really like the beach. Makes me feel calm.”

The coin chuckled, “Well, when I win TPOT and gain Two’s cool unlimited power, I’ll make you as many beaches as you want!”

She rolled her eyes, “Wow, okay, thanks, Coiny. Sounds like someone’s feeling confident.”

“Well, of course I am! I’m totally gonna win this one for sure!” Coiny responded, smirking at his best friend.

Pin smiled for a moment as well before frowning again. All of this pressure was weighing heavily on her, crushing her and sucking the life out of her.

“You’re worried about the letter, right?”

“That obvious?” Pin remarked.

“No, I’m actually a mind reader and I just never told you all of this time. I simply dug into your thoughts and knew what you were thinking about.” He playfully teased.

“Coiny!” Pin fired back, laughing as she affectionately swatted him on his arm, “This is serious!”

“I’m being super serious! I really am a mind-reader!” Coiny protested, pouting as he crossed his arms, “And it really hurts my feelings that you aren’t believing me.”

Pin couldn’t help but be amused. She knew what he was doing. Coiny was just trying to make her feel better by playing everything off as a joke. She supposed that he thought if he made her laugh, then she would feel less anxious. 

“Uh-huh. What am I thinking about right now?” Pin asked, playing along with his joke.

“How handsome I am. You’re going, ‘Damn, Coiny is good-looking.’ Aren’t you?”

“…Whatever you say.” She remarked, before her tone became more somber, “…You think I should have sent her that letter?”

“I don’t know but hey, I sent one to Firey so that makes us even!” He replied, “Look, you don’t owe her anything-!”

“I know that! I do, I just… Did you see that video?”

Coiny sighed, “Of course I have. I think everyone’s seen it by now.”

“Then you know why I did it.”

“Yeah… I do.” He responded, “And if it makes you feel any better, I think you did a good thing. You are way nicer than you think you are.”

“Maybe,” Pin glumly said, rubbing her arm, “Maybe I’m not. Not like it matters though. That’s probably the last time I’m ever gonna talk to her.”

Pin stood there in silence as Coiny stared at her. She closed her eyes and tried to listen to the sounds of the waves. It was way too hot for her to fully enjoy it. Maybe she’d come back here later tonight. At least then, she could look at the stars. Waves and stars were always such a pretty combination.

“Hey, guys, what are you doing out here? Two wants us to head back to the hotel.” Donut said, appearing with Barf Bag next to him.

“Oh, uhh, yeah, we’ll be right there!” Coiny shouted back.

“Are you sure? Are you two okay? Pin?” Barf Bag questioned.

Her eyes shot open and she turned to look at Barf Bag, “Yeah… I’m fine. We’re coming now!”

Looking back at each other, the pair grabbed each other’s hands as they started to head back, ready to put everything behind with those letters sent to Firey and Leafy.

After all, it’s not like the past could ever come back to them.

Chapter Text

“Hey. Piece of shit. Wake up.”

Snoring.

“Hey, come on, asshole. You’ve had enough beauty sleep, don’t you think?”

He could barely make out the sound of someone snapping their fingers in front of his face. His eyelids were heavy, his body was still sleepy. He didn’t want to wake up. By waking up, it meant that what happened yesterday was real.

“FIREY! WAKE UP!”

Firey’s eyes shot open as he spun his head back and forth, trying to take in his surroundings. With heavy breaths, he looked to the left and right of him only to see gray. Metal. Bars. He was in a cage, like some sort of animal that shouldn’t be touched and only observed from afar.

His blurry vision slowly disappeared as he saw the figure in front of him; Pencil. She stared down at him from outside of the cage, standing on the platform of the Yoyleneedle. His head felt like it was splitting in two. He tried to get up but ultimately failed as his legs had fallen asleep, making him collapse to the ground.

“Morning, asshole. Have a nice sleep?” Pencil spoke in that mocking tone of her, giving him a fake sympathetic expression, “I really hope you did.”

“…Pen…cil? What… What’s going on?” Firey’s raspy voice questioned, squinting his eyes at her.

“You don’t remember? Aww, guess Ruby might have hit you a little too hard and given you brain damage. Oh, wait a minute, you were already crazy and fucked up in the head way before this.”

Firey continued to glare at her as he slowly got up to his feet. The cage swung back and forth gently, creaking as he walked over to where she was, gripping the bars of the cage.

“Pencil? What… What the hell is going on here? Where are we?”

“We’re in your new home, Firey. A good place for a dumbass like you, don’t you think?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, “What the actual fuck are you talking about?”

What was going on? Why was he trapped here? What was Pencil doing? A million questions were rushing through his head as the cage squeaked once more. For some odd reason, his heart jumped whenever it did that.

“Short answer; you’re an asshole. Long answer; you massively fucked up and me and the rest of FreeSmart thought you deserved a little… punishment for your transgressions.”

“P-Punishment?” Firey asked, his confusion only growing with each passing second, “What are you talking about? If this is some dumb prank, then this isn’t fun-!”

A strong gust of wind blew over the pair and the cage shook violently. Firey held onto the bar for dear life, feeling a sense of dread as he looked down at the cage floor and only now realized how high up he was. Of course, he had seen the Yoyleneedle before and knew it was quite a large building but seeing this view down from this height was terrifying.

As he was distracted, his foot slipped into one of the open spaces of the cage. He squealed out in fear as he struggled to pull himself back to his feet. The entire time, his eyes were glued to the ground and all he could think about was how utterly terrifying it would be if he fell.

Absolutely nothing he could do if something happened and he tumbled all the way down from there. Completely powerless to do anything but scream and accept his fate as the ground grew closer and closer.

With a bit of struggling, Firey finally managed to free his foot from the cage and he immediately turned to Pencil with an infuriated expression, “Pencil! This isn’t fucking funny! I don’t know what joke you’ve got going on with you and your dumbass teammates but I want to get out of here, now!”

He tried to sound angry but really he was just desperate. There was something wrong about being here. He couldn’t shake off this feeling of intense doom, as if a tragedy was going to strike here at any moment. He wanted to get out. Now. By any means necessary.

Instead of even acknowledging what he just said, Pencil continued to look puzzled, “You… You really don’t know why you’re here?”

“No! I have no clue, you can’t punish me for something I don’t even know I did. Just… Just open the door and we can forget this ever happened…” Firey pleaded, unable to stop himself from taking glances at the floor.

Pencil paused for a moment, seemingly thinking about something before shrugging her shoulders, “Nah. In fact, I think it’s kinda funny how you don’t remember. Gives you a bit of a clean slate, doesn't it?”

Firey was in disbelief. If he technically had a clean slate, then shouldn’t that be more of a reason to let him go than keep him in here? He tried to think over what he could have done that not only had Pencil’s rage against him but also made her think that his mistake was significant enough to lock him up in a cage, thousands of feet from the ground.

“Is… Is this about what happened back in BFDIA? With me and Gelatin joining you FreeSmart assholes to get the Yoyleite for Tennis Ball? Because if so, that was like… four years ago! Who cares about what happened in the past? Plus, that stupid stunt got me eliminated!”

Well, that was half-true. Yes, a lot of people thought he was being an asshole by joining FreeSmart and then… messing with them a little. And by messing with them, he meant completely lying to their faces about what the real challenge was until the time was up and they were put for elimination. But, that wasn’t the full reason.

A lot of people thought Firey shouldn’t have a chance to win because he already won last season with Dream Island. Even though that was completely unfair since he never got to even enjoy Dream Island after she stole it from him! What a bitch, she took his prize from him for no reason.

He wondered where she was now. Probably still rotting away in Yoyleland, a fate she deserved. Actually, why was he even thinking about her anyway? He couldn’t care less about where she was even if he tried.

Pencil scoffed, “No! You think I still give a shit about that? Geez, grow up, why don’t you? This is something more than that.”

“Well, I don’t know what is this ‘something more’ you’re talking about because you won’t tell me!” Firey exclaimed, shaking the bars of the cage before realizing how bad of an idea that was.

“Fine, you wanna know so badly? You’re the one who-!” Pencil shouted, before suddenly going quiet and groaning, “Actually… nevermind. I don’t have time for this. I’ll see you tomorrow, Firey.”

Pencil turned her back towards him and started to head towards the stairs leading down from the tower. Firey’s eyes widened as he started to yell, panic rushing throughout his veins, “W-What! Pencil! What are you doing?! You can’t just leave me here! Pencil! PENCIL!”

No response. Pencil just kept walking away, ignoring him as if his words had absolutely no impact on her whatsoever. Firey began to impulsively shake the cage as he kept screaming at her to get back and let him out of this death trap.

“PENCIL! PENCIL! PENCIL, GET BACK HERE! LET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! PENCIL!”

“Firey! Snap out of it!” Gelatin commanded as he tapped Firey’s arm, immediately sending him out of his flashback and back to the real world. He was walking along the dirt road as he had been before. Gelatin was right by his side, dragging a big bag of envelopes behind his back.

He groaned, “Ugh, what happened?”

“Well, long story short; you’ve actually been in a coma for the past ten years and half of the world has been destroyed by crazy, killer robots who’ve already killed millions of people!”

Firey gave him a deadpan expression, “Gelatin.”

“Okay, okay… Sheesh, tough crowd… You and Leafy got into a small lover’s spat that we all saw… and by we, I mean every other contestant… and every single viewer of the show…” Gelatin awkwardly remarked, “But, on the bright side, you got a letter from Coiny so… yay?”

Firey’s face soured as he mumbled, “Shit. Right, Four was recording that too… Ugh, now everyone probably thinks even less of me now, as if that was possible…”

“Hey, come on, don’t be like that.” Gelatin cooed, trying to cheer him up, “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Wasn’t that bad?!” Firey exclaimed, looking incredulously, “Are you kidding? Everyone not only saw Leafy lose her shit at me for the second time but she absolutely still hates my guts, meaning all of that progress was for nothing.”

It hurt him quite a bit to know that none of their recent interactions even slightly made a dent on the walls surrounding Leafy’s heart. Was he just doomed to try something over and over again and never succeed? Would Leafy never trust him or open herself up to him again? Was it now impossible for them to reconnect? Was the emotional distance between them too far to where they had to burn the bridge that was their past friendship?

It was impossible, wasn’t it? There was no chance Leafy would ever grow to like him again. At this point, with all of the negativity now thrown his way, Firey should just give up. There was nothing he could do at this point. He fucked up and threw away one of the few genuine friendships he had in favor of his own reputation and to save his skin. Leafy hated him and no matter how much he tried to get her to see him in a more favorable light, those underlying feelings of disgust and disdain would always plague their relationship.

“She doesn’t hate you. She actually likes you a lot, you know?” Gelatin remarked, “I think she’s just angry and confused. She wants to like you and be your friend but she’s just… scared of being hurt… But, regardless, I’ve seen the way she talks about you and I can tell she likes you a lot.”

Firey huffed as he crossed his arms, smoke starting to form on the top of his head, “Well, it doesn’t feel like it. I told her about one simple thing and she completely lost it at me.”

As frustrated as he was, Firey couldn’t fully blame her. Of course, he knew that she still despised him. He was just sad and hurt by the feeling of losing her again, of never being able to recreate the past and how things were like before. Leafy was never going to like him again. She was never going to trust him again.

“Who am I kidding? It’s too late for us anyway. I should just give up and let her move on.” Firey mumbled, “It doesn’t matter if she still likes me because she also still hates me. And I know for a fact that she’s not gonna stop hating me.”

“Firey, come on, don’t give up! I know it probably seems impossible right now but it’s really not. You just gotta keep showing her that you are someone she can trust and feel comfortable with.”

“Oh, yeah? How? By me endlessly throwing myself at her, hoping she’ll catch me? There’s nothing you or I can do at this point. I just gotta… move on.”

Gelatin looked at Firey with a softer expression, “That’s what your mind is saying but it’s not what your heart wants. You wanna be her friend so you can’t give up now. How else are you gonna ask her to marry you one day?”

Firey blushed and sputtered, “S-Stop that! None of that other stuff matters if I can’t become her friend first. If we can’t even have one conversation without her flipping her lid and blowing up in my face, then why should I bother?”

He didn’t mean any of this, of course. Deep down, he still desired to be with her but what else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t make Leafy let go of all of that hatred, hurt, distrust and pain that had been accumulating ever since he metaphorically left a knife in her back for the past ten years. His feelings for her didn’t matter if her feelings for him didn’t align.

“Because you know this isn’t right. Don’t you want this story to have a happy ending? You really wanna end this with you and Leafy never becoming friends again? Because that’s a sucky ending.”

“Well, we aren’t gonna have a happy ending either. I don’t know if we’re even gonna have an ending in the first place. What if this is just something that’s not meant to be?” Firey suggested, “Maybe… we’re just too different now. I mean, it has been ten years. Every time we talk, all of you guys just expect us to get into some fight. It’s like arguing has become our thing when it really shouldn’t be! Maybe, I’m just trying to force something that can’t come naturally anymore…”

So much time had passed since they even had a decent interaction. Excluding BFB 22 and that whole mess, whenever Firey and Leafy talked after the Dream Island incident and when he didn’t ignore her, it was an argument. He regretted those moments. He wished he had apologized before BFB 22 happened. In fact, he wished he never even won Dream Island in the first place because then the whole issue with the Ferris wheel and then with Yoyleland and IDFB and pre-split BFB would have never occurred.

They could have been like Pin and Coiny, or Tennis Ball and Golf Ball! People who had been best friends for nearly a decade and were still super close to each other to this day! 

They would have never fought, Leafy wouldn’t have been severely traumatized, and they still would have kept their close relationship. People wouldn’t look at them as this toxic pair who did nothing but continuously argue and bicker with each other. And not even in a cute, ‘Aww, they’re arguing like an old married couple’ way but in a ‘Oh, these two hate each other’s guts,” way.

Gelatin looked up at him with a heavy silence filling the air for a moment before asking one question, “Well, how was things like when you and Leafy were by yourselves during BFB 23? Did you guys argue and fight back then?”

He paused, thinking back to that day. They weren’t fighting, for once. No, it was, in fact, pretty nice. Well, it was “nice” if you excluded everything about the Yoyleberries. And him passing out. And him unlocking all of those wonderfully traumatic memories from IDFB. And him realizing he fucked over Leafy and now had to tell her what happened.

But, besides those few small little details, it was still a nice day.

“...No, we didn’t.” Firey mumbled, “It was… actually pretty nice… We even held hands…”

He began to blush and smile cutely at the memory, looking a little awkward and embarrassed as smoke trickled from the top of his head. Gelatin always thought Firey looked pretty cute when he was embarrassed, like how a dog looks cute.

A smirk formed on his face, “Wow! Good job, you little charmer.”

As soon as he said that, Firey’s face soured, “Whatever… It doesn’t matter anyway… One good moment between us doesn’t mean Leafy hates me any less.”

“But, one bad moment between you doesn’t mean Leafy loves you any less. Every relationship has its good and bad moments. Sometimes, things are great and other times, things suck! Point is, you can’t take one moment and say that it’s all your relationship is. Things aren’t so black and white, you know. I’m sure there’s a part of Leafy that’s super fond of you as well as a part of her that hates her guts.”

He couldn’t disagree with him on that. Sure, in a logical sense, Leafy certainly didn’t just feel outright hatred and contempt for him but it felt like she did.

It was like every moment he was around her, he could physically feel that subtle dislike she still had for him. And every time he felt it, he grew more hopeless and full of despair. It made him feel like none of this was worth it or really going anywhere. What was the point of investing so much time and energy into fixing something that may be irreparably broken?

Firey scoffed, “Well, what do I do to make all of her be fond of me? I don’t want her to still hate me.”

Gelatin chuckled nervously, “I… can’t answer that. Sorry. To be honest, I really don’t know what you can do but I do know you can do something.”

Firey groaned, “What a great non-answer. Thanks, buddy, really helped me out.”

“You can be as sarcastic as you want but it’s not gonna help.” Gelatin remarked, throwing him a wink, “On an unrelated note, you do know how weird you and Leafy look when you two blank out, right?”

“What?”

“Well, you know… You and Leafy kinda do this thing when you sorta blank out for like ten minutes with this look on your face.” Gelatin remarked, mimicking Firey as he began to walk with this emotionless expression, walking forward with his eyes directly focused on the ground.

“Is that really what I look like?” He asked, now feeling a hint of embarrassment. Is that really what he looked like when he was flashbacking? Just by Gelatin’s imitation, it looked like Firey was walking around like some sort of zombie.

“Yeah, but I think it’s alright. I guess it’s a thing you two do, ahaha. Just more proof that you’re soulmates.” Gelatin chuckled, “What exactly happens when you space out like that?”

Firey crossed his arms, “…I just… randomly remember things, I guess. Things from years ago.”

Gelatin titled his gaze at him, “Oh, yeah? Like what?”

The flame was silent for a moment. IDFB. Gelatin was around during IDFB, wasn’t he? Did he remember what happened back then? He had to, right? And if so, could Firey get some more answers out of him?

Gelatin was his best friend so he should be willing to help him out. That’s all he had been doing, even when Firey felt as if he didn’t deserve any help. So, he should have no problem with telling him about a very important time in his life that he only had pieces and fragments of.

“…IDFB.”

The moment that word left his mouth, Firey noticed Gelatin tense up. He looked slightly surprised and a bit confused as he instinctively smiled and chuckled.

“Oh, uhh, I see…” Gelatin stated, looking slightly uncomfortable as his pace quickened. Firey took immediate notice of this and followed after him. Something was off about Gelatin but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“And, I was wondering… what exactly happened back then?”

Gelatin paused, not moving a muscle for a few seconds. Nerves took him over as he pondered over what he should tell him. Should he just be up and honest? No. Firey wouldn’t be able to handle that, not right now. Not when he was feeling so down on himself. Telling him what happened wouldn’t help anything.

“…Nope. No clue. I was locked in the LOL with a bunch of the others, remember?”

A lie. A very obvious fib that Firey immediately picked up on. Gelatin had a terrible poker face, making it easy for even someone like Firey to tell he was lying. Sure, a lot of contestants were trapped in the Locker of Losers but Gelatin was not one of them. Firey would know, he vaguely remembered seeing from inside of that cage.

But, it offered up the question of why. Why would Gelatin feel the need to lie to him? Weren’t they friends? He was supposed to be someone Firey could trust and he was openly lying to his face. What type of “friend” does that?

His eyes narrowed as he pondered over whether to confront him over the misinformation or not. Didn’t Firey deserve to know the truth? Did Gelatin think he was somehow protecting him by not telling him? Well, fuck that! By keeping quiet, Gelatin was just making Firey lose faith in him as his best friend. And speaking of their friendship, why didn’t he bother to help him out of that cage?

Was he a part of the anti-Leafy or Leafy hate bandwagon as he was back then and when it was revealed that Firey was the one who revived Leafy and thus got “punished” for his “crime” by being subjected to being locked up in that cage for over a year, Gelatin saw it as a “deserved” fate. Because, if that was the case, then it was totally unfair! He had more than a valid reason to bring her back and if Gelatin was a real friend, then he should have stuck by his side no matter what.

Shouldn’t real friendship be about always having each other’s backs, no matter what happens? Friendship was like an unspoken contract between two people, a promise that you could trust them, be vulnerable with them and they would support you no matter what. No matter how weird you are, what you looked like or what anyone else thought; because they were your friend and they loved you. But, if Gelatin couldn’t do that, if he did leave him in that cage without even bothering to help, could Firey even call him a friend?

Flashes of Leafy filled his mind for a moment, making his face flicker with remorse. Right, who was he to go on talking about what it means to be a friend to someone if he couldn’t even adhere to his own ideas. How hypocritical it was for him to go on about friendship, about what it meant and the promise you made when you declare yourself to be friends with someone. Was this how Leafy felt about him? That wondering over why someone who you trusted would hurt you in the worst way imaginable. Friendship was cruel in that sense. Vulnerability was cruel in that sense. Their basic needs were cruel in that sense. Caring about someone and putting in an emotional investment in someone was always a gamble.

It had the possibility of a deeper connection and the positive feeling of having someone who you know for a fact will never leave you. But, as with all bets, there was a significant risk or drawback. You might also get hurt, you might realize that you’ve spent months or maybe years nurturing a relationship with someone only for one single action to completely undo it. That was weird, wasn’t it? Why did relationships have to work like that? Why did there have to be so much time and effort spent into making a connection stronger and yet, no matter how strong it was, it just takes one simple mistake or betrayal to completely destroy, almost past no return.

“...Gelatin, what you just said was bullshit and we both know it.”

Again, another pause. Gelatin gulped. Fuck, curse Firey’s persistent. He was hoping that he didn’t remember anything about that, it had been so long ago and just… IDFB was a mess. There was a reason why Gelatin never brought it up to Firey before but now he was looking for answers and he wasn’t gonna stop until he got any. What was Gelatin supposed to say? Was Firey gonna be mad at him? If he said anything, it would undoubtedly lead into an argument with Firey asking what happened and why didn’t Gelatin do anything and this, and that, and the third. At the same time, by not saying anything, Gelatin would be practically inviting Firey to get mad at him for remaining silent and playing dumb. Like, waving a giant sign that said, “PLEASE GET PISSED AT ME AND START A FIGHT!”

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. Regardless of what he did, Gelatin was screwed. The only question would be; which of the two is lesser evil? Yeah, both would lead to Firey getting mad at him but maybe he could soften the blow slightly. He weighed both decisions in his mind, flipping back and forth on whether to tell him or not. If he did, then he could at least try to explain himself. And maybe Firey would understand if Gelatin explained himself well enough. Firey would understand. He would have to. Gelatin wasn’t an asshole. He was a good person who just… He… Oh, whatever! Why did it even matter anyway? That was years ago! The past was in the past and couldn’t be undone. Why does Firey even care anymore? IDFB was over and they could just move on. Sure, what happened did suck but it wasn’t Gelatin’s fault that Firey got put into that cage.

…It wasn’t fully his fault. All of that stuff couldn’t be completely pinned on Gelatin.

Gelatin sighed, trying to collect himself before speaking, “...Alright, fine. You win. I wasn’t locked up in the LOL and I do remember about IDFB. Happy?”

Firey crossed his arms with a peeved look on his face, “No, Gelatin, I’m not too happy knowing my best friend didn’t bother to help me when I got locked in a cage for over a year!”

“Firey-!”

“Aren’t we supposed to be best friends? What the hell happened to that, huh?! You just up and left me without a care in the world, leaving me with those FreeSmart assholes.”

Gelatin grumbled, “Just let me explain.”

He scoffed in response, clearly not amused, “Oh, this better be a good one.”

Great. This was going exactly the way Gelatin was expecting. He couldn’t exactly blame Firey for being pissed off at him, but couldn’t he at least wait to hear him out before chewing him out? Everything always had a reason for happening. Well, most things had a reason for happening and Gelatin did have a good one. Firey was talking to him like he did it on purpose just to take the piss out of him for his own amusement.

“Look, it wasn’t easy, okay? FreeSmart had their grubby little hands into everything! Nobody was even allowed a few feet of the Yoyleneedy besides FreeSmart members! If I tried to sneak onto there, I would’ve ended up in the cage right next to you! And after our little stunt back in BFDIA, do you think they’d let me join their team if I asked nicely? There was literally nothing I could have done to save you back then so don’t pin everything on me!” Gelatin growled, glaring over at Firey with frustration.

“Did you even try to help or did you just shrug your shoulders and give up?” Firey scowled, despite knowing there was no real justifiable reason to be so mad at Gelatin.

“Yes! Of course I tried! I tried so hard to help you and nothing worked! I tried talking to Bubble, Ruby, Book, Ice Cube and even Pencil herself but I couldn't get through to any of them!” Gelatin remarked, “All they’d tell me was that rules were rules and I should just butt out of it! It’s not my fault that you were gonna leave! Did you ever think about me and how I would have felt?! I woke up in the middle of the night and all I found was a stupid letter from you telling me how you were gone and planning to run away with Leafy! What else was I supposed to do? I just wanted to find you and-!”

Gelatin immediately shut his mouth before he finished his sentence.

Silence. Firey remained quiet with Gelatin’s rant. He had a point, if he was being honest. If there was one thing Firey knew about Pencil, she definitely was a hard-ass and the idea of only allowing FreeSmart members to be able to interact with him made sense. From a logical standpoint, Firey had no real valid reason to be upset with Gelatin. But, emotions weren’t exactly known for being rational. Despite knowing that he shouldn’t be upset with Gelatin, he still was.

He thought back on Gelatin’s words and noticed something was off with his statement. The final thing he said, “I just wanted to find you and-!” What did he mean by this? And why did he look so surprised by what he said? It felt almost as if Gelatin was hiding something from him, as if he was just seconds away from spilling too much information. Suspicion began to arise as Firey stared at Gelatin wary.

“...What do you mean by that last part?”

Shit. He said that out loud, didn’t he? Firey heard it. What was he gonna do now? Tensions were already pretty high between the two of them and if he said what he meant, then things would inevitably explode. Why couldn’t Firey just move on from this? Why couldn’t the past just be left behind? Mistakes made years ago couldn't be undone so there was nothing to gain from bringing them back up.

“Gelatin, I’m talking to you. What do you mean by that last part?”

He didn’t want to answer. In fact, Gelatin wanted to disappear right now. To have the Earth swallow him whole at this very moment. He wanted to vanish from Goiky and never have to return again if it meant avoiding this uncomfortable situation. What could he do now? Was there any way to avoid this conversation? He could no longer play dumb and pretend to have no idea what Firey was talking about. Maybe he could think of a better excuse for his slip-up so he wouldn’t have to reveal the truth. Gelatin tried as hard as he could to think of a valid excuse for what he said but everything he came up with either didn’t make sense or didn’t fit with what he was just saying. He couldn’t tell Firey that he had just imagined him saying that.

Firey was definitely smarter than that. He’d surely push for Gelatin to be honest with him. Staying quiet was also a bad choice. The longer he stayed silent, the more angry Firey would become.

“Gelatin! Say something!”

Point proven. Gelatin knew he had to say something but it couldn’t be the truth. It had to be something else than the truth. The truth would lead to Firey hating him. He couldn’t lose him. Firey was his best friend. Please no. Please don’t make him do this.

“Gelatin! I know you can fucking hear me!” Firey shouted, grabbing Gelatin’s arm and shaking him violently.

Firey gripped his arm tightly, making Gelatin wince out in pain as he yanked his arm out of his grasp, glaring at Firey, “Don’t touch me.”

“Then be honest with me. I know you’re hiding something.” Firey barked, “And don’t try to bullshit me!”

Yet again, silence. Gelatin tried to muster up the courage to say something but his lips merely trembled pathetically as he tried to come up with something. Anything. Just whatever he could say that’d get Firey off of his back. Anything that wasn’t the truth.

Regardless of what he said now, their relationship was gonna be strained. The truth or another lie, the end result would remain the same. That was the cruelty of the truth. People always wanted honesty, even if it caused more pain. For some reason, people think that a hurtful truth is a better thing to have than a peaceful lie.

What was so great about the truth anyway? The truth hurts. The truth sucks. Why bother looking for something that would just end up hurting you in the end anyway? Why did Firey care so much? Did he think that knowing what happened would change what cannot be undone? Would it make him feel better?

“…Fine! You wanna know so badly?! Will that somehow make you feel better?!” Gelatin snapped.

“Yeah, you know what? It absolutely fucking would!” Firey shouted.

All of that frustration and anger had finally boiled over and made Gelatin impulsive. He was no longer thinking about what would happen after his declaration, but only about how good it would feel to finally let loose and yell at Firey.

“BECAUSE YOU WERE GONNA LEAVE ME! I FOUND YOUR STUPID LETTER AND TOLD RUBY WHERE YOU WERE! THAT’S WHY YOU GOT CAUGHT! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!” Gelatin exploded, now fuming with rage as Firey looked surprised and his mouth opened slightly.

“…What?”

The rage had subsided as Gelatin grew quiet once more. There, he said it. Their friendship was now officially in the trash, never to be recovered again. Back in IDFB, Gelatin couldn’t sleep on the day that Firey had planned to revive Leafy and run away.

For some odd reason, he had been a bit restless. Perhaps it had something to do with Firey at that time, as Gelatin had been worried about him back then. He didn’t seem… okay. He was more distant, quiet, as if something was gnawing him away from the inside.

If only he had known it was because of his lingering guilt over what happened to Leafy. But, of course, Firey would never tell him. Firey would rather just brush off his concerns and tell him that everything was fine even if he knew it wasn’t.

Gelatin had woken up in the middle of that fateful night and decided to get himself a glass of water to calm down and try to go back to sleep when he saw it. The letter. He remembered picking up and reading it, it being written by Firey and telling him and anyone else who read it that he could no longer do this anymore.

How awful he felt about leaving Leafy for dead and how he realized he couldn’t live without her. The letter told him how, by the time that Gelatin was supposedly supposed to read it, Firey would be long gone and never come back. Gelatin remembered dropping the glass of water in shock.

Firey was gone?! How could he leave him like this? How selfish was that? To run away in the middle of the night without a word. If his plan had worked, then Gelatin never would have even gotten a proper goodbye. Firey would have just been gone and he’d never see his best friend again.

He was angry and he was hurt. His own best friend was gonna leave him and didn’t even have the courage to say it straight to his face. No, he instead left him a letter. A stupid fucking, goddamn piece of paper he was supposed to read in the morning when Firey was already gone. He didn’t trust him enough to talk to him about his feelings, completely catching Gelatin off guard and making him feel abandoned.

So, of course he was panicked and worried. He didn’t want Firey to leave, at least not without him. So, the first thing he did was run out of their house and onto the streets of Yoyle City to find him. He knew where he was, Firey had to be at the recovery center. Considering he just left the house, Gelatin knew he couldn’t have gotten all that far.

And on his way there, who did he run into? Well, Ruby, of course. In his fear-stricken mind, he told her about what happened, about where Firey was and what he was planning to do. At the time, he didn’t think about what would happen next, all he really wanted was to avoid being alone again.

Ruby told him to leave it to her and she would find him. Gelatin still didn’t trust it but he was already getting tired and it was late so all he could do was put his faith in her. Little did he know that this would lead to Firey successfully reviving Leafy but getting caught by Ruby and subsequently knocked out before he could finish the second part of his plan.

That was the last thing Gelatin had ever expected to happen from him getting Ruby’s help. He thought that maybe she would try to persuade Firey from making such a rash decision without acknowledging his best friend. But nope, that didn’t happen.

Instead, everyone who was living in Yoyle City at the time and not trapped in the LOL decided to have a town meeting over what to do with Firey. Since everyone was still relatively upset with Leafy’s revival over the whole “Leafy stealing Dream Island” incident from a few years back, they were not happy with Firey reviving her.

Everyone, excluding Gelatin, unanimously agreed that Firey needed a punishment for his actions. And what did they choose? Something reasonable and understandable? Wrong yet again! Pencil came up with the lovely idea of keeping Firey trapped in a cage on top of the Yoyle Needy, the tallest building in Yoyle City!

Firey was absolutely terrified of heights so this was the perfect punishment for his crime… in the eyes of everyone but Gelatin. Since he knew Firey better than the rest of them, he thought this was unnecessarily cruel, making Firey stay trapped in a situation that would undoubtedly cause intense panic and stress but he didn’t say anything against it, not much anyway.

It’s always so much easier to go with the crowd than it is to go against the crowd.

“Everyone, attention please!” Golf Ball shouted at the newfound citizens of Yoyle City from a podium, using a step stool to even be able to reach the microphone. Gelatin stood in his position, terrified. He already knew exactly what this was about. Golf Ball had called this town meeting for an “incident” that occurred yesterday. And by “incident” she was really talking about Firey and him reviving Leafy yesterday.

Gelatin didn’t know what to do, or how to feel about it. His own best friend was planning on leaving everyone to go run away with his old best friend. He was planning on leaving Gelatin, without even a second thought about how he would feel about it.

Didn’t he know that Gelatin actually cared for him and liked his company? They had been friends for years and Firey was gonna throw all of that away for his own desires. How the hell was that fair to him? At the very least, at the bare minimum, didn’t Gelatin deserve more than a random letter Firey had hastily written?

“Now, I’m sure you’re all aware of at this point about the treason committed against us by one of our very own members; Firey. By reviving such a dangerous member, despite our protests against such a blatantly horrible decision. This sort of behavior is absolutely unacceptable and needs to be rectified immediately! He has betrayed our trust and threatened the stability of our lives here!” Golf Ball stated, her sharp tone overflowing with sternness.

“Ehh, that’s a lotta big words to say one thing. Get to the point already, Bossy Bot.” Fries remarked, looking annoyed.

Golf Ball growled, “I’ve told you to stop calling me by that degrading nickname, you insignificant piece of garbage! Just wait a few seconds and I can get to the point! Your pointless comment has only served to waste even more time!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Bozo Brain.” Fries casually remarking, making Golf Ball even more pissed off.

Gelatin sighed. Those two seemed to hate each other. Fries, from the day that Gelatin had met him, always seemed to be butting heads with Golf Ball. He told him that he couldn’t stand her whiny voice and the way she always seemed to have this need to be in control of everything and everyone. Fries liked to piss her off, to him, it was the only enjoyable thing out of any of their interactions.

Golf Ball stared daggers at Fries until Tennis Ball gave her a look and she gradually calmed down. Gelatin was thankful that Tennis Ball wasn’t one of the many contestants still locked inside of the Locker of Losers, or the LOL for short. If he was, then there’d probably be nobody left to stop Golf Ball from completely ruling over Yoyle City as if it were her own personal kingdom and everyone else were merely peasants she had graciously allowed to live here.

Actually, now that he thought about it, that wasn’t too far off from how she did act already. The only difference was that Tennis Ball was like her king. Or more actually, her advising chief.

“Ahem, as I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, me and my assistant, Tennis Ball, as the only two competent people among our group have come to a decision, Firey must be punished immediately for his crime against our safety!” Golf Ball remarked.

Punishment. That made Gelatin feel… worried. What type of punishment could they be planning for Firey? Sure, Gelatin himself didn’t exactly have the most positive feelings towards him but he still cared. Everyone else, on the other hand, didn’t share the same close relationship as he did with Firey, meaning that they could punish him in whatever they want and not be all that swayed by their emotions.

“Ehh, who made you two presidents of Yoyle City, huh?” Fries pondered, putting a hand on his hip.

“I DID! STOP ASKING ME THESE STUPID QUESTIONS AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE!” Golf Ball boomed, screeching into the microphone.

“Well, what if I wanted to be the leader for once, GB? Ever think about that?” He asked, provoking Golf Ball.

“Sure… You can be the leader… Once you actually prove that your life is worth a damn and you stop being such an incompetent and worthless moron who’s actively wasting our oxygen!” 

Tennis Ball winced, clearly uncomfortable with the harsh insult directed towards Fries, “Golfy…”

Fries scoffed and rolled his eyes, not even remotely phased by the cruel words thrown his direction. Fries had pretty tough skin, most things didn’t bother him. Or maybe he thought it would annoy Golf Ball more if he showed that he didn’t care about whatever she had to say to him.

“Tssk, and you wonder why no one but your boyfriend over there likes you.” He sassed, pointing over to Tennis Ball who blushed slightly and cleared his throat.

“Uhh, no… Me and Golf Ball aren’t… We’re not… We’re just science partners…” The yellow-green fuzzy ball stammered. Weirdly enough, it sounded more like he was just saying it to say it than actually believing his own words.

“Why is that the part you focused on?!” She asked, barking at Tennis Ball, who winced in response. Golf Ball then turned her attention back to Fries.

“One day, I’ll make you listen to me, Fries!” She declared.

“Sure, in your dreams, maybe. Bossy Bot. I’ll listen to you when you stop being such a Bozo Brain, which will never happen!” He shot back, infuriating Golf Ball as she glared at him and gave him a look that would surely kill him if looks could kill.

Golf Ball started to stomp her way towards him when Tennis Ball stopped her with his foot, “Shush… Shush… Calm down… It’s not worth the trouble…”

Tennis Ball’s words seemed to have a comforting effect on Golf Ball as she paused, weighed the benefits and losses of the decision to physically confront Fries before sighing and calming down.

“Fine! But that’s only because getting into a fight with someone like you would be nothing more than a petty waste of my precious time.” She scoffed, “You can take over, TB.”

She took a step down from the podium and mumbled underneath her breath, not even noticing Fries’s satisfied smile. Tennis Ball watched his partner as she stormed off and pouted before walking up to the podium himself.

Tennis Ball looked over at the crowd of people with visible nervousness taking over. He tried to calm himself down, reminding himself that as their unofficial leader, he had to be strong and not show any signs of weakness. Be strong, not weak. Just like Golf Ball had told him over and over again.

“Ahem, as Golf Ball was saying, this is a really big deal! You all know how dangerous Leafy is and now that she’s back, we have no idea where to find her! She could be who knows where at this point! So, me and Golf Ball had a long talk about this yesterday and we decided the best course of action would be… to punish Firey…”

“Uhh, not to cause any argument by any means but if this Leafy girl is so dangerous, then why aren’t we going out to find her and stop her?” Book questioned, swaying her body back and forth as she played with her hands.

Tennis Ball sighed, “I know and me and Golf Ball talked about that. We concluded that it would be a bad idea. We don’t know where she is, so we can’t just spend the whole day looking around the city or the forest for her. We don’t even know if she’s still in the area. Maybe she’s just gone but we can’t be sure. She’s also pretty fast and deadly so even if we did find her, there’s no guarantee that we’ll even catch her. Overall, we don’t have the resources, time or knowledge to organize an entire objecthunt for her! It would be a different story if we had everyone who’s still trapped in the LOL…”

“So, you’re saying that we should let some knife-wielding psycho run loose?!” Needle huffed, already wanting to go out and look for Leafy, “You’re underestimating us, TB! We can find her!”

A collected “yeah” spread across the group as they agreed with Needle. Gelatin could see it on everyone’s face; they were all eager to go find and kill Leafy.

“I… Look, I understand your excitement, I really do but with our numbers and the endless amounts of possibilities, it’s simply not a feasible option for us right now. Don’t you guys remember after BFDIA ended, how long it took us to each find our own homes? It took me and Golf Ball seven months to find a place suitable for us, and that was barely half of Yoyle City! Compile that with the possibility of Leafy hiding out in the forest, then it becomes not only unlikely to find her but nearly impossible. We’d all be exhausting ourselves if we tried!” Tennis Ball pleaded, trying to get everyone to understand his perspective.

“But, we can’t just leave this alone! We have to do something!” Bomby declared.

“Yes, I know, I know that. But, right now, there’s nothing we can do to find her. We just gotta come up with a plan first before chasing after a ‘what if’ idea. I hope you all can understand that.”

“Well, I guess I can get what you’re saying…” Nickel mumbled, his voice full of his evident dissatisfaction with the decision, “But, what does punishing Firey have to do with any of this? Seems a bit random, don’t you think? Not gonna help us find Leafy.”

“Of course it’s important, Nickel! We can’t just let Firey think what he did was okay!” Ice Cube remarked, “He needs to understand what he did was wrong. Not to mention, how do you know he won’t revive Leafy again once we find her and kill her? If you ask me, his punishment should be death with no one reviving him!”

Gelatin’s eyes widened, “Woah, Ice Cube, that’s a little… Don’t you think that’s too harsh? You don’t have to be so… cruel, you know? I’m sure if we just talk to Firey, then he’ll-!”

“Gelatin, that’s not gonna work, silly-billy!” Ruby said, shaking her head as she put her arm around, “Firey’s too far gone if he thought reviving Leafy was a good idea. I know it hurts but you gotta let him go! It’s okay, we can find you a new best friend.”

Gelatin didn’t want that. He didn’t want a new best friend. He wanted his own best friend. He couldn’t just replace him. Maybe this was a mistake. Was everyone here being too harsh in suggesting a punishment for Firey? He surely had to have had a reason for reviving Leafy.

“Well, what’s the punishment even gonna be, hmmm?” Yellow Face questioned.

“…That, uhh, well… I don’t know.” Tennis Ball responded, looking embarrassed as the rest of the crowd glared at him, “Does anyone have any ideas?”

The crowd began to murmur with suggestions over what to do with Firey. Gelatin heard them all in shock and horror as they whispered about not the best way to punish Firey but to torture him. Killing hom and never reviving him. Doing what Blocky did back in BFDI and putting Firey through an endless loop of being killed and revived only to be killed again.

Pain. Suffering. Torture. The price to pay for one fatal mistake he made.

As they argued, Pencil rolled her eyes as she pushed past all of them and walked right in front of the stage, staring up at Tennis Ball who looked back down at her.

“Tennis Ball, what are we doing? We can’t just kill Firey. What would that prove? If he dies, then he can’t know what he did wrong. And we’re trying to give him a punishment so he can… learn to be better, not to brutally execute and or maim him.”

She spoke with a sickeningly sweet tone. Gelatin could feel himself glaring at her but he couldn’t tell why. A feeling of pure dread washed over him as she spoke.

“What are you suggesting then?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Pencil smirked, “Just hand him off to FreeSmart! Me, Ruby, Book and Bubble will… take care of him. In fact, I already have an idea in mind…”

That wasn’t good. Something told Gelatin that whatever Pencil’s “idea” was couldn’t be good or even all that better than what everyone else had already suggested. There was something about her that always made Gelatin a little wary when speaking to her. Perhaps it was her voice. The way she spoke always felt so… condescending. So manipulative. It was like she knew how to use people to her advantage and felt proud in having that skill.

“Uhh, I don’t know…” Tennis Ball winced, looking uncomfortable as he shuffled awkwardly in his spot, “What are you guys even gonna-!”

“Oh, come on, TB. I promise we won’t hurt him, we’re not as barbaric and violent as the others. Think about it, you won’t have to come with a punishment, you hand him over to us with the guaranteed promise of no harm coming towards him and you’ll be a good leader too in the eyes of everyone else!” Pencil remarked, a smug smile appearing on her lips. She leaned in to whisper to him but Gelatin was close enough to make out what she was saying.

“And, we both know you’d love nothing more than to be seen as a leader, with all of that praise, love and validation. You don’t really wanna just follow in ol’ Bossy Bot’s footsteps forever, do ya? Don’t you wanna be your own person? Be seen as not just a follower or assistance but as a leader?” She coaxed, her exploitation of his desires now becoming more evident with each passing word.

“Golf Ball is supposed to be your best friend and partner but it seems like she’s calling all the shots and you’re just echoing anything she says. Do you really wanna spend your entire life just following after someone else?”

She continued, “When was the last time that Bozo Brain made you feel good about yourself? Are you guys really partners or are you just her little errand boy who’ll do anything for her? I doubt she even cares about you. You have potential, TB, and this is your chance to show everyone that you’re more than a weaker, pathetic, spineless version of Golf Ball!”

Tennis Ball still looked hesitant, his eyes flickered back and forth between Pencil and Golf Ball, as if he was weighing her words in his head and trying his best to come up with a decision.

“I-I… I still don’t think that’s a good id-!”

Pencil rolled her eyes, “Oh, I get it. You need Golf Ball’s permission to make the choice, don’t you? Well, I guess that checks, considering you guys are best friends… but I’m guessing you’re not too happy with that role.”

His eyes widened and a lime-green blush began to cover his cheeks. Tennis Ball looked around nervously as sweat started to drip from his forehead, “Ahaha… I don’t know what you’re talking about-!”

“Tennis Ball, Tennis Ball, we’ve been friends for how long now? About half of a decade? Trust me, your feelings are way more obvious than you think. I guess it was inevitable. You two have been best friends for a while, it’s only natural that you’d want to take it to the next level. Nothing wrong with falling for your best friend.”

She put a hand on top of him, “Let me guess, you’re thinking that maybe, if you just show Golf Ball how devoted you are to her, then maybe… just maybe… she’ll give you a chance and you can go ahead and sail off into the sunset.”

An idyllic scenario that Pencil immediately shot down with a reality check.

“Well, if you’re still dreaming about that, then you might just be delusional, my friend because it’s never gonna happen! I can see it in the way she speaks about you, GB doesn’t care. She doesn’t see you as a friend, let alone as a potential boyfriend. She just wants a loyal servant who’ll do what she wants, whenever she wants it. So, if that’s what you want, then you’ve been doing a good job!”

A cruel half-truth said in a way to destroy any hopes Tennis Ball had. His face soured as he frowned, not even bothering to make an argument for why she was wrong. 

Gelatin felt pity. Tennis Ball didn’t need to hear that nor was it true, not entirely anyway. Golf Ball clearly did care and value him as a friend, it was just that her ego was stronger than her feelings of friendship towards TB.

“But hey, don’t worry, your little secret is safe with me… and it’ll be even safer if you hand over Firey to me. If you don’t, then there’s no saying if I may… accidentally tell someone how you really feel about Golf Ball and it might spread like wildfire until it ends up right in her ear.” Pencil stated, leaning in close to him, “And we’d both know how much you’d hate for that to happen. For your little secret to cause the end of your friendship. Such a shame… wouldn’t it?”

A thinly veiled threat. Gelatin and Tennis Ball could both see through it. What she was really saying was, “Give me Firey or else I’ll tell Golf Ball you’re in love with her and subsequently ruin your friendship.” And Gelatin knew that Tennis Ball would accept her terms. He hated conflict more than anything and would do whatever it took to make sure no one fought.

So, as expected, Tennis Ball hung his head low as he sighed and mumbled, “…Okay…”

Pencil’s smug look only seemed to widen as she affectionately rubbed Tennis Ball’s head, speaking to him in a cooing tone, “What a good boy you are. A very good boy indeed. I hope you enjoy this moment, because it’ll probably be the only affectionate attention you’ll ever get from a girl.”

Despite not wanting to, Tennis Ball couldn’t stop himself from desiring more, nuzzling her hand as Pencil snickered in a mocking voice. He still desired that attention and affection. He wanted someone’s approval even if it was someone like Pencil. The innate desire to feel loved and cared for was a powerful motivation to do things you knew were hurtful in the end.

“Aww, was I right? Is this the only time a girl’s touched you? Geez, how pathetic and touch-starved are you? Heh, it’s almost cute how much you like this.” She chuckled, “Too bad, maybe if you weren’t so worthless, someone would actually like you. Maybe Golf Ball would like you and actually want to be with you rather than treating you like shit. Oh well, at least you have me. I’ll never make you feel bad about yourself. I’m the only person who could ever really like someone like you.”

Gelatin felt disgusted at the blatant abuse of Tennis Ball’s feelings and him being manipulated like this. He wanted to do something. He wanted to go up to Pencil and tell her to back off and not treat Tennis Ball like that. In his mind, he stomped over to her and shoved her away from him and told her to go away.

In reality, Gelatin merely stood there as Pencil continued to pat his head, with Tennis Ball purring in response, a dissatisfied look on his face. He hated that he enjoyed her touch. He hated that he desired more of this loving feeling. No one felt more disgusted with his own actions than Tennis Ball himself.

Pencil eventually stopped and walked onto the podium, tapping the microphone before clearing her throat and addressing the other Yoyle City citizen.

“Thanks to our lovely leader, Tennis Ball, he’s gratefully decided to allow me and the rest of FreeSmart to handle Firey’s punishment ourselves.” Pencil declared, pointing over to Tennis Ball who just looked ashamedly at the ground.

“What?! TB, why would you-?!” Golf Ball shouted before Pencil silenced her.

“Shh, I’m talking now. Anyway, let’s give it up for Tennis Ball, who made the right choice!” Pencil declared, gesturing towards the audience to clap. And, with some hesitation, most of the citizens clapped.

“And Gelatin too! If he hadn’t told me where to find Firey, he and Leafy would probably be long gone at this time!” Ruby cheered, grabbing his arm and forcing him to get on the podium. Her grip was a lot stronger than expected and even though Gelatin tried to break free and protest against this, saying how he didn’t want the attention, Ruby either didn’t hear him or purposefully ignored him as she forced him on the stage.

He didn’t want this. This didn’t feel right. Firey was going to be punished and it was because of him? Gelatin wasn’t sure how to feel. Should he be angry that his best friend was planning on leaving him without so much as a final goodbye? Or should he feel scared, knowing that FreeSmart had complete range to do whatever they wanted with Firey, as long as they kept it under the guise of it “not being as bad as killing him.”

In situations like that, death typically seemed like the preferred option. Would it have been better if Gelatin had let Firey go? He wasn’t sure.

“Come on, guys! Gelatin! Gelatin! Gelatin! Gelatin!” Ruby chanted, trying to get everyone to join in, and they did. Mostly everyone was now cheering on his name, as if he did something good and not something that caused him so much internal turmoil and this intense feeling of dread.

Did he… make a mistake?

“Gelatin! Gelatin! Gelatin! Gelatin! Gelatin!”

“Gelatin!” Firey snapped, shoving Gelatin harshly on his shoulder, causing him to thrust his body forward and almost hit the wall of the Have Cots’ cabin. He dropped the bag of fan-mail and turned his head back around to see Firey, who was still glaring angrily at him.

“Ow… what the hell was that for?” Gelatin questioned, rubbing his head.

“Uh, for starters, you completely blanked out! You did the whole ‘spacing out’ thing you said me and Leafy do when we… think about the past or whatever.” Firey mentioned.

Huh? Really? Did that mean that Gelatin had spent that entire time flashback walking aimlessly to the Have Cots’ cabin without even realizing it? Was that what it felt like to have a flashback? Creepy.

“Oh… Then, why are you pissed?” Gelatin asked, tryout to get to the bottom of his anger.

Firey scoffed, “Because, before you went to la-la-land or whatever, you told me that you were the reason that Ruby caught me and I got locked up in a cage!”

Firey was pissed. He couldn’t believe that his own best friend would be the reason for so much trauma and pain. It would be one thing if he couldn’t do much to help him but to hear that he was the one who tipped off Ruby and got him captured in the first place made his blood boil.

Gelatin paused, blinked before he began to get frustrated himself, now having his memories back. How dare Firey get mad at him, as if he didn’t pull an extremely selfish stunt. Everything that happened to him was something he brought upon himself.

“Oh, you’re the one mad at me? I should be mad at you! My own best friend was gonna leave me and everyone in the middle of the night with nothing but a stupid letter all for a girl he’s been obsessing over for years now!” Gelatin fired, “How can you be mad when you were planning to abandon one friendship for another one you already ruined!”

“Hey! I wanted to tell you but… it was hard, okay? How was I supposed to know if you were gonna go tell someone else about what I was gonna do? What did you want me to do?”

“Uhh, I dunno, maybe you could have talked to me! Maybe I wanted to leave with you but you didn’t think about that, now did you? No, you only thought about yourself and Leafy. And you wanna know why? It’s because you are obsessed. You’ve been chasing after someone who clearly doesn’t like you anymore because you fucked up big time! But wait, I guess I forgot the world revolves around you and what you want, Firey. My bad!”

Firey growled, “That’s not true! You completely ratted me out because you were selfish and you were pissed! I had my reaosns! I couldn’t stay with a bunch of assholes who would be totally okay with leaving Leafy for dead!”

“They only wanted to kill her because of what you started! If you hadn’t been such a selfish dick and just-!” Gelatin started to say before Firey finished his sentence for him.

“If you had just let Leafy onto Dream Island. Yes, Gelatin, I get it! I have the entire world drilling that into my head over and over again! ‘Oh, Firey, if you weren’t such an asshole,’ ‘Oh, Firey, if you just didn’t care so much about a Ferris wheel,’ I get it already! Everyone thinks I’m some abusive, toxic, narcissistic dickhead who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself!”

Firey continued to vent, “What more do you people want from me?! I already hate myself, I haven’t slept in the past two days because I’ve spent all of my nights thinking about what an asshole I am and how much I hurt Leafy. What will it take for you to stop bringing that up?!”

“For you to actually change as a person! Because you know what? You’re exactly the same. You think you’ve gotten better but you haven’t! You’re the same ol’ selfish, arrogant, narcissistic, Firey! You do whatever the hell you want and you don’t care about anyone else! You didn’t care back in BFDI, you didn’t care in BFDIA, you didn’t care in IDFB, you didn’t care in pre-split BFB or post-split and you especially don’t care now!”

“Oh, you wanna talk about not caring? Why didn’t you help me, huh? It isn’t because of Pencil or Freesmart, you just didn't help because you were still angry! Admit it! You left up there to get tortured because you were pissy!”

Gelatin groaned and rolled his eyes, “See! This is what I mean! You’re not even thinking about how I would have felt if you just left me! You’re repeating history, you abandoned Leafy and you were gonna abandon me too! That’s your problem. You wanna think of yourself as the good guy, as the victim in everything but I know you better than that and I can tell that you’re not. In fact, you’d probably stop hating yourself so much if you just admitted to yourself that you’re a selfish, goddamn coward who does whatever he wants and doesn’t give a shit about who he hurts in the process! That’s you! That’s who Firey is at his core! And honestly, you should just apologize to me for planning on leaving me, your best friend, behind!”

Firey paused for a moment, processing his words. Yet again, anger continued to bubble up inside of him. Admit what to himself?! Firey already knew he sucked as a person, what more did he need to do? Why did it feel like the only real way to atone for everything that happened was for him to experience an equal amount of suffering. Was that the way to make the universe satisfied or was this just people looking for some sort of pitiful revenge?

He stomped his way towards him and shoved him towards the cabin, his back hitting the door.

“Oh, you want an apology? Sure! I’m so sorry that I wasted years befriending a pathetic sack of shit like you! You are, with no doubt, the most self-centered, idiotic person I have ever fucking met. You left me to be tortured and belittled on a daily basis and you somehow make it about yourself! If I’m such a narcissist, then you’re one too! Takes one to know one. You’re just as fucked up in the head as I am!”

An eye for an eye. A life for a life. A broken heart for a broken heart. Firey wanted to hurt Gelatin as much as he felt like he had been hurt by him. The same went for Gelatin. A mutual desire to inflict the most emotional damage as possible.

The more words spoken and insults exchanged, the more their friendship, a bond that had been nurtured ever since they met in BFDIA, began to crack and fall apart. Falling outs were always so painful, weren’t they?

Inside of the Have Cots’ cabin, Blocky, Woody and Flower all sorting through their fan-mail. Quite the tedious process. Why did any of them have to sit through this crap anyway? It’s not that they didn’t appreciate their adoring audience but who really wanted to sit down and have to read through over one hundred letters.

Blocky groaned as he decided he’d just suck it up and get it over with. He picked up another envelope and opened it, seeing yet another letter inside.

“Hey, Blocky, don’t you think your girlfriend needs your help in the BRB right now?”

Goddamnit! Blocky was getting tired of this garbage! What was up with these shippers? Yes, he understood why they did it but he still didn’t understand the motivation of why people did it. It wasn’t shocking anymore; he had seen all of the “cute” fanart and fanfictions about him dating or having a crush on whatever contestant people thought would be good for him but he could never understand why people were so invested in the idea of him dating whoever they shipped him with.

It seemed bizarre, which did not make his fan-mail better. The reference to his “girlfriend” in Big Rotating Building was obviously meant to be Taco, even if the two of them had spent a good amount of time bickering. Maybe people saw it in a sort of romantic light, as in “they’re only pretending to hate each other because they actually love each other.”

How gross. And embarrassing. Blocky had never thought of Taco in that light before and it definitely would not start anytime soon.

Blocky glanced over to the piece of wood next to him, as he read his own letter. He got a small glance at what he was reading.

“Woody, you’re so cute! Do you like monster trucks?”

And judging by the terrified look of fear in his eyes, Blocky could reasonably assume that Woody’s panic-filled mind had jumped to the conclusion of monster trucks meaning monsters made out of trucks. Or maybe trucks that were secretly monsters? 

Regardless, since Woody was scared of everything and viewed the world through a lens of, “Could this thing kill me in the worst and most gruesome way possible,” Blocky knew he had to step in and calm his buddy down.

“Woody, relax. They didn’t mean monsters as… Trucks being… Whatever you thought. Just calm down.”

Blocky’s words seem to have gotten through to him as Woody took a few deep breaths and gradually relaxed, reminding himself that not everything was always as scary as his mind made it out to be.

Gosh, he hated this. Being scared of everything and onto being able to communicate in what essentially sounded like blabbering only further the belief that he was a child and always needed someone to help him.

Woody wanted to be more than that. He knew he was more than that but it was hard not viewing the world as something scary. At least, he had his friends with him.

As Woody calmed down, Blocky looked around the room and realized something. Firey was missing. It was just him, Woody and Flower in the room. He wondered where the flame could be.

“Hey, guys, where’s Firey?” The red cube asked his friends.

“Don’t know. Don’t care. Probably off stalking Leafy again.” Flower scoffed as she absentmindedly read more of her fan mail, not even bothering to look at Blocky.

He sighed, “You know, it’s not my place to tell you what to do but you could at least hear him out.”

She rolled her eyes, “Oh, for what? So he can give us some bullshit apology about how ‘sorry he is’ and how he’ll ‘never do it again’? Fuck off with that. It doesn’t matter what he says now since one of us is getting eliminated tomorrow.”

Blocky nodded his head, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not saying that wasn’t a super dumb move; it was. But, holding it over his head and bitching about it isn’t gonna change anything. You might as well let it go.”

Flower didn’t reply but looked annoyed as she went back to reading letters.

Well, that figures. Sometimes, relationships just couldn’t be fixed, even with all of the apologies in the world. Because, at the end of the day, an apology was really nothing more than an invitation to reconcile. And that invitation could be refused and quite easily.

Sometimes, things were just not meant to be. Blocky couldn’t make Flower forgive Firey. All he could do was suggest the idea towards hey and whether or not she took the bait was all based on her own accord.

He sighed as he leaned back in his spot on the couch, trying to make himself comfortable. The moment of peace quickly vanished as he heard the sound of muffled voices coming from behind the front door.

It seemed like the other two had heard it as well as all of their eyes had shot towards the door, barely being able to make the sound of two people arguing.

“What the hell…?” Blocky muttered, getting up and walking towards the door. He could barely make out what they were saying but it didn’t seem like it was anything nice.

He looked back at Flower and Woody before back at the door and touched the handle. Blocky squeezed and twisted it, opening the handle and once the door was opened…

“You piece of shit!”

It went by in a flash. The moment that Blocky had opened the door, Gelatin was shoved into the room by Firey with an irritated look on his face. Flower and Woody jumped up in surprise as Gelatin’s back hit against the table with a grunt.

“What the fuck?!” Flower yelled out in shock, unable to comprehend what was going on.

Blocky couldn’t believe what he was seeing either. Were Gelatin and Firey fighting?! Why?! What the hell was happening?!

“Fuck you!” Gelatin shouted back, shoving Firey as well. He barely even noticed that the two of them now had an audience. His focus was entirely on Firey now. It was like his entire world narrowed down onto Firey and nothing else.

The two started to shove each other, almost resembling the act of two children fighting over a mutual desire for a toy. Flower and Woody merely stood there in shock, unable to move or keep their eyes off of the conflict.

Blocky, on the other hand, wasn’t as mesmerized at the scene and knew he had to stop it. He got in between them and tried to pull them away from each other.

“What the fuck do you think you two are doing?!” He shouted at the two of them, frustrated at their petty squabble.

Firey and Gelatin glared at each other, both of them were ready to pin the blame on each other.

“He’s the one who started this! Gelatin’s a goddamn, piece of shit, asshole friend who decided to let me be tortured just so he could feel better!” Firey stated.

Gelatin snarled in frustration. “I’m an asshole?! That’s real rich coming from the guy who was ready to leave his own best friend behind because he can’t accept that someone fucking hates his guts!”

Blocky blinked in confusion as his eyes darted between the two, “O-Okay, look, I don’t give a shit about who started what. You two can’t just come in here and start-!”

Firey was too far into his own world to even hear what Blocky was saying, only focused on Gelatin. He got out of Blocky’s grasp and pounced on him, shouting out, “Fucker!” as he tackled him to the ground.

The remaining three just stood there in complete silence as Firey pinned Gelatin down to the floor, seething with anger as his hands tightly gripped his wrists.

“Such a fucking piece of shit.” He said, slamming his head against the floor.

“Get the hell off of me!” Gelatin retorted, kicking Firey’s legs and shoving the flame off of him.

“GUYS, STOP!” Flower shouted, but to no avail as the two of them were so wrapped up in their own conflict that nothing else seemed to be able to get through to them.

Once he got back to his feet, Gelatin pushed Firey yet again, shoving him towards a mirror which cracked and charred slightly upon impact, knocking it loose. Woody panickedly got up and started to head towards the door, not being able to handle being in the room while these two fought.

The mirror swayed from the impact, silently threatening to fall off and collapse on the floor. Unfortunately, by the time that Woody was heading towards the door, the mirror fell off its hinges and smacked him on the back of the head, knocking him to the floor as a million pieces of glass shattered and spread across the floor.

Gelatin and Firey immediately stopped fighting as they looked over at the piece of wood, who groaned and clutched his head as he got up.

And then, he started to scream, as there was now a piece of glass jammed into his right eye. Woody yelled out in pain as he fell to his knees and tears started to well up in his one good eye. He started to scream hysterically as Gelatin and Firey watched in silence.

Blocky, without even thinking, felt his body move towards his friend and grab him as he continued to sob profusely, unable to handle the pain. His eyes shot over to the pair, making both of them freeze on the spot with that intense glare.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!”

Neither of them could say anything, as there was nothing they could say. An apology wouldn’t cut it. A sorrowful glance couldn’t fix it. No, nothing could. So, they just remain silent, with the only noise being Woody’s cries of pure agony.

“B-Blocky, I-!”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Now realizing they had completely fucked up, both Firey and Gelatin hurried to scramable out of the door, not wanting to be in there with Blocky and his intense angry any longer. The moment they left, the door immediately slammed which made both of them wince in fear.

They didn’t say anything. Not to each other. Not even in their own minds. A dreaded silence took over the pair as what just happened replayed in their minds over and over again. A deep sense of guilt and remorse washed over the two of them upon realizing the consequences of their actions. Neither of them had meant for them. They just were arguing and… it was never meant to go this far.

The pair stood there for what felt like hours, barely moving besides the feeling of their legs shaking with nervousness and the swaying of their bodies back and forth. A shiver ran down both of their spines as the crying eventually stopped and they heard the door open.

They knew it was Blocky. He didn’t have to say anything nor could they even see him from the corner of their eyes but they just knew it was him. Maybe it was the intense feeling of dread that increased the moment the door opened. They could just feel his anger without even having to look at him.

A few moments of tense silence passed before Gelatin found the courage to start to apologize, “Blocky… I… We are so sor-!”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare start with a bullshit apology. I’m gonna tell you exactly what’s gonna happen so you listen up good. I’m gonna go find X to help me with Woody and the piece of glass you guys caused to get stuck in his eye. You two are gonna leave and I’m not gonna see you guys again. And if I do, if I ever have to see either of your faces again, I’ll fucking kill you. Both of you. That’s all I have to say.”

With that chilling ultimatum, Blocky walked past the both of them, not even bothering to look at their faces even once. He disappeared from both of their eyes as they continued to remain silent and shocked over what happened. Yet again, neither of them said anything since there were no words left to rectify the situation.

After a few more moments of that dreaded silence, Gelatin started to walk away, his legs shuffling awkwardly as his knees buckled and threatened to collapse in on themselves. Firey wanted to say something to him but he remained silent, not wanting to harm their friendship even more.

That was, assuming they even still had a friendship that he could ruin. Was this the end for them? Was Gelatin no longer his best friend? He wanted to ask but he didn’t; for he was too scared of receiving an answer. If he said anything, then there would be the chance that Gelatin said no. At least, in this way, he could hold onto the belief that the fight wasn’t that bad or harmful to their relationship.

Firey may have been mad at him and felt betrayed but he didn’t want to lose one of his remaining friends.

“…Gel…”

His voice fell silent as he just watched Gelatin leave. It was at this point that he realized he was all alone. All of the Have Cots must have hated him, including Blocky. Gelatin hated him. Leafy still hated him. Firey hated himself. All alone now, with nothing to show for it.

Ha. Ha. Haha. Haha. Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! It was over. Firey was alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone with his thoughts, telling him what a waste of space he was. How he was the problem in all of his relationships. What a pitiful waste of life he was.

Is this what anguish felt like? Was this his rock bottom? No. No, it wasn’t. Because, it could always get worse. Not better. Worse. Things were going to get worse. His only friends he had left had both walked away from him. Alone. Firey was, in all sense of the word, alone.

Firey looked down at the bag of “fan” mail he got, each letter likely filled to the brim of hatred and anger spewed towards him. A thought popped into his head; Coiny.

Coiny sent him a letter, didn’t he? Right. He should probably read that. Firey absentmindedly began to rummage through the bag before he found Coiny’s letter. He picked up and read the words on the front of the envelope.

“To Firey, from Coiny.”

He needed a distraction. Or a break. From everything. From life really. Firey wanted to go away, considering everyone probably wanted him to at this point. Maybe if he just disappeared, everyone would be happy. Maybe he was a black hole, sucking the joy out of everyone’s life. Maybe everyone would cheer and celebrate if Firey just went away forever.

What did Coiny even have to say to him? What did his ex-rival think about him now? It had to be something bad. Or negative. Maybe another letter talking about how awful he was and how much he should just kill himself already.

Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe this was just Firey’s negativity projecting itself onto everything again. Regardless, he was curious so he summoned all of the courage he could before opening the envelope and pulling out the letter.

“Dear, Firey. Hey, been a while, hasn’t it? First, I guess I should apologize for writing to you out of the blue like this. To be honest, I really just wanted to forget about BFB. This season sucked and honestly me and Pin are really enjoying TPOT so… hooray for us.”

“Thanks, Coiny… I really needed to hear about how wonderful your life is right now. Makes me feel so better.” Firey bitterly remarked, continuing to read.

“But, that’s not why I’m sending this message, to rub it in your face like the old me would have done. I’m not that much of an asshole. No, I wanted to say that, well, me and I’m pretty sure everybody here on TPOT saw what happened during BFB 22 (Two wants us to watch your guys’ season for some reason. I think they just want to see Four succeed and finish BFB after we all left) and I know you’re probably feeling down right now so… I think you’re great.

To be honest, I kinda regret all of that time spent arguing and fighting with you over dumb stuff when we were younger. When we finally put aside our differences and just acted like normal people who didn’t want to rip each other’s throats, I found out that you’re not really as bad as I thought you were. It was fun being your friend.

I don’t know what you’re gonna do now or how you’re feeling but… hey, I believe in you. I know, it sounds corny but I do. You’re a good guy, Firey. I’ll make sure to try to keep you in BFB as long as I can! Write back to me, if you want. Bye. - Coiny.”

Something wet hit the paper. Firey didn’t even notice it at first until he heard himself start to sniffle. And then, another drop of water hit the letter. And another, and another, and another. And then, Firey began to sob.

It felt so nice to be loved by somebody. To have them believe in you and tell you that you aren’t as bad as you think you are.

“…Thanks, Coiny.”

Chapter Text

As she opened her eyes, Leafy noticed where she was. In the air, soaring above the ground. Flying. Was she flying? Wait, when could she fly? What was she doing before this? She was doing something, right? Well, of course, she was. Dumb question.

She noticed that she was holding onto something. Her eyes glanced up and that’s where she saw… him. He was holding onto a hang glider with one of his hands while the other one was holding her hand, keeping her close to prevent her from falling down to her death.

They were doing something, right before this. Leafy couldn’t remember what it was but she knew that she was suddenly pissed off. She couldn’t put her finger on it but something about looking at him was making her blood boil.

Before she could even think, her mouth opened, “H-Hey! Let go of me, you stupid jerk! Get your hands off of me!”

This was stupid. She knew it was stupid. She was fighting with the guy who was the reason she wasn’t dead yet. At the same time, it was because of him that she was even going to be killed in the first place. Leafy didn’t actually want him to drop her but she was angry at how stupid he was being.

He sighed exasperatedly, “Leafy-!”

Leafy huffed, “Actually, no! I don’t wanna talk to you. I only wanna speak to my best friend, and I know for a fact that my real best friend would never get so upset over a Ferris wheel and act like such a dumb, idiot jerkface!”

Silent treatment. Leafy had no reason to want to talk to him. In fact, she never wanted to see his stupid face again. 

Because… he had a jerkface and she hated people with jerkfaces. He was a big old meanie who cared more about a dumb object than his supposed best friend. 

Leafy would never forgive him for this. No matter how many years pass, no matter how he apologizes. He could go down on his knees and beg for forgiveness a million times and she wouldn’t budge.

He stared at her with sorrow for a few seconds before exhaling through his teeth, “Come on, Leafy. We don’t have to do this.”

“Hm. I said I’m only gonna talk to my real best friend and as far as I know, you’re not him!”

He rolled his eyes, “Oh, really? You’re talking to me right now. What happened to your silent treatment?”

Leafy gasped before feeling her face grow warm with the embarrassment of being called out for her contradiction, “S-Shut up! Okay, now I’m not gonna talk to you anymore!”

He groaned. Leafy couldn’t stay quiet forever. She’d crack eventually and then maybe she would be more open to actually talking about what happened. He wanted to apologize but how could he when she wouldn’t even give him a chance?

The two merely sailed off together in silence.

In the present, Leafy’s eyes shot open and she let out a noise of surprise. She was sitting at her desk, her computer right in front of her. Her hand was holding up her cheek and she could feel something wet dripping on her hand.

“Argh, eww, gross!” Leafy moaned as she wiped the saliva from her mouth. Was she drooling in her sleep? Disgusting! Leafy didn’t know she was drooling.

And, when did she even fall asleep? She couldn’t remember. Leafy tried to backtrack and think about how she got here. What was the last thing she could remember? Right, she was talking with Firey about their fan mail and…

Well, more like she was shouting at him. And then… X said they had letters from… Pin and Coiny. Firey took his and walked off with Gelatin somewhere and Leafy took hers and went back to the Have Nots’ cabin.

What was she doing on her computer again? Searching up something. Must have gotten tired and fallen asleep. What was she dreaming about? Leafy tried her hardest to think about it but the dream had already slipped from her mind. Figures. It probably wasn’t important anyway.

She looked up at her desk, seeing Pin’s letter beside her computer. Leafy wanted to read it. She did but she was also afraid. To have her ex-friend suddenly send her a letter out of the blue like this with no prior warning made her naturally wary.

To be honest, she was kind of a nervous wreck for a while now. Ever since BFB 22, it felt like that one situation had snowballed into a much larger mess that was getting harder to clean up by the second. Everybody knew. Everybody knew that Leafy really wasn’t doing okay mentally and that was scary to acknowledge.

Not many people could imagine that. Having your own personal issues aired out on television for anybody to see and judge. They all could think these horrible things about you and you’d never know. All of these comments about how you weren’t normal and how something was wrong with you.

And even if you try to tell yourself that you shouldn’t care and other people’s opinions don’t matter, you still do. Because you still have that desire for validation and approval. You still want everyone to like you. The idea of someone hating you becomes too overwhelming and you start to wonder why they don't like you. Is it you? What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you live up to their expectations of being a good person?

Why can’t you just be happy?

Her eyes glanced up at her computer screen, seeing what she had typed into the search bar before sleep overcame her.

“Leafy”

And the following results under it were exactly what Leafy expected to see after all that had transpired.

“Leafy x Firey”

“Leafy BFB 22”

“Leafy mental breakdown” 

“Leafy crying”

“Leafy yelling at Firey”

And there it was; Leafy’s worst fear. None of her past mattered anymore. Nope! The only thing people cared about now was her relationship with Firey, which was an entire message in of itself. Well, she supposed it shouldn’t come as a shock. They were a fan-favorite pairing. When the poll for what was everyone’s favorite ship, “Fireafy” was one of the top five.

And of course, considering all of the… drama between them, that’d get even more people excited. It was ridiculous. Her personal issues were being shown and judged by millions of strangers who didn’t have the same insight as she did. Why did her mental state have to be used as entertainment for others?

Was it fun or something? Did people think this was enjoyable for her? No! It wasn’t. Most of the day, Leafy had that small voice in the back of her head telling her how awful her life was and how quickly it would improve for everyone if she was gone. How much everyone hated her and hated having to coddle and hold her hand so she didn’t have another breakdown.

How she was just exaggerating her issues for the attention. So she could try to fill that hole in her heart with all of this concern and love she was getting. About how she actually really did enjoy the attention and she was just manipulating everyone else for her own benefit.

It’s not that much of a big deal. Everyone gets sad sometimes. Everyone feels like crying or giving up on occasion. It doesn’t make you special. You don’t need everyone to stop what they’re doing and hold you so you don’t threaten to kill yourself. They have lives too, you know. It must be so exhausting to be around someone who’s a ticking time bomb.

Sheesh, you don’t even think about them, do you? Imagine having to wake up every day and walk on eggshells around someone so they don’t start breaking down and talking about how much they should die just so you can boost their ego. You’d probably start hating that person too, wouldn’t you? You’d think they’re a waste of time, a crybaby, and a narcissistic manipulator who’s willing to do whatever underhanded tactic to get people to love them.

You’re feeling okay now, why can’t you just stay this way? Why do you have to be such a whiny bitch every five minutes?

“Wah wah wah! My name is Leafy and I’m so depressed because I get sad every now and then and that’s how depression works! I’m literally gonna kill myself if you don’t tell me how much you love me and would miss me! Wah wah wah! I’m never happy even though I can clearly smile and laugh at things! Please pity me!”

Hey, what’s next? Are you gonna put a knife to your chest and demand everyone worship you? You know, to treat your “depression” and not your overwhelming sense of narcissism.

All of this is just normal. If you were really depressed, then you would be crying all the time. You’ve smiled and been happy before. Why make it into something you know it’s not?

Was the voice right? She didn’t know. Having these problems made her feel ashamed of herself. Despite being told that it was okay to not be okay and she was brave for being open, as she was told in her fan mail, it didn’t make her not feel guilty.

Leafy felt like she was wasting everyone’s time. That she was making this a bigger deal than it actually was. Ever since BFB 22, she had felt like a burden. To everyone and herself. If she just kept things better under control, then none of this would’ve happened in the first place.

If she had just been born normal, then none of this would have happened. If she was normal, then she could have lived a happy life with her friends and people who loved her and not had spent it alone on Yoyleland for years and then come back only to be completely spat on by everyone.

People would have liked her! No, they would have loved her! Her relationship with Firey would be normal and they could just be normal healthy best friends and not have to worry about everyone thinking they’re annoying and toxic and awful for each other.

No betrayal. No having to spend so much time alone in Yoyleland. No lingering resentment. Leafy could point to Firey and say that he was her best friend and she loved him. They could actually be together without everyone assuming that their next fight was inevitable and their relationship would fall apart in seconds.

She wouldn’t have to constantly question herself over whether she really did love Firey and wanted to be with him or if she completely despised him and couldn’t stand being around him. A perfectly normal couple where she could be around the only person she’s ever truly loved.

How stupid was that? To be in love with someone whom she also hated. Maybe she was still holding onto hope that their relationship could be improved one day. Stupid feelings all stemming from a stupid lingering crush that stemmed from their past friendship.

She couldn’t pick a side. Leafy couldn’t say that she had only positive and affectionate feelings towards him but she would be lying if she said it was all negative. Leafy wanted to open her heart to him once again but the fear of being hurt, abandoned, alone, and humiliated was holding her back.

If she got hurt, then it would be all on her for giving him a second chance. And that would be painful to deal with. Leafy knew that she wouldn’t fault Firey but rather herself for being dumb enough to let her feelings overtake her fear of being hurt.

What a weird relationship dynamic. Two people who were in love with each other but couldn’t exactly get together until every single bit of tension and uncertainty had been cleared. And there were still a lot more problems left to solve before any of that could come to fruition.

That’s the part that made her feel guilty. Sure, she could just say, “fuck it, it’s fine” and just jump right into a relationship with him but how long would that last before falling apart? Simply sweeping all of their problems under a metaphorical rug didn’t make them go away.

Unfortunately, it was going to take a lot of time and effort before Leafy felt comfortable and secure enough with Firey to give a potential relationship a chance. People could chant, “Just kiss” all they wanted whenever the two were in the same room together but it was ultimately going to be a long and difficult process to being together again.

So, with that said, what the hell was she doing? Firey was definitely more than eager to rebuild their relationship as soon as possible but she completely rebuffed him whenever he tried to approach the subject of their relationship.

That must have been confusing. Imagine being told by someone who you deeply love that you need time to fix things and when you try to fix things, they completely brush it off and act like it didn’t happen. Leafy knew it wasn’t fair but she felt… strange talking about it.

They had such nice moments together, making her forget that she wasn’t supposed to like him. So, whenever he brought it up, it was like the facade had been broken and she suddenly remembered how strained their relationship truly was. That they weren’t actually best friends again.

Maybe she wanted to keep that illusion for a little bit longer. It wouldn’t have to be an illusion if she was normal.

If she was normal, then Leafy wouldn’t have to worry about everyone yelling at her and feeling like the most hated person to ever exist. No more death threats sent her way. No more being alone with her thoughts, telling her how awful she was as a person. No more being labeled as annoying or toxic or fake. No more being labeled as the Dream Island thief.

If only she had been born normal. Or, if only she could lie to herself well enough and say that her mood fluctuations were just something everyone experiences and not as a sign of something deeper going on underneath the surface.

Maybe that’s why she hated talking about it or even acknowledging it. The moment she actually said the word, it made it feel that much more real. And if it was real, then it made her feel like something was deeply wrong with her. It was like, if you don’t think about it, then it’s gone away.

But, that would be more akin to closing your eyes and saying that the world no longer exists because you can’t see it anymore. Merely pretending something wasn’t there didn’t make it go away. But, acknowledging it was a scary thing to do. How could she just confront the fact that she was…

Yet again, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Ha, how foolish. For some reason, saying the word felt like it would make the dark cloud swirling in her mind stronger, keeping its hold on her and never letting her go. That’s actually how she would describe her emotional and mental state; as if there were this darkness around her mind that wouldn’t leave, no matter what. A darkness that spewed hateful words and insults towards her. Telling her things that she knew were objectively false, both about herself and others, but she couldn’t help but ponder on the possibility of them being true.

As sorry as she felt for herself, she had even more sympathy for Firey. Her feelings towards her were… weird and confusing but she did know one thing; he did not deserve all of the shit being thrown his way right now.

As uncomfortable and humiliating as it was to receive so many letters calling her strong and whatnot, it was objectively easier to deal with as opposed to Firey, who received a letter telling him that he should just take his own life. That was the last thing Leafy wanted. She didn’t want Firey to be brought down just to boost herself.

It didn’t make her feel better, it made her feel worse knowing that she had unintentionally gotten her fans to spit all over Firey. Despite her feelings towards him, she still knew that he deserved better than to be degraded like she was. Nothing was worse than the feeling of everyone being against you, of feeling as if you were cursed by life itself and only existed to experience profound suffering.

A part of her was curious enough to see what would come if she searched herself up. A part of her told her that it was a dumb idea because she already had an inkling of what everyone thought about her now. They probably thought about how much more work she is now compared to her normal teammates. Or, maybe they just pitied her and talked about how amazing she was for “coming out about her problems” even if it was unintentional and honestly, one of the last things she wanted to do.

If it was up to her, then no one would ever have a clue about any of her problems and she could just bury them all deep down inside, under lock and key, and never have to worry, or speak about them, ever again.

But, even that wasn’t a solution. Nothing can change for the better if nothing changes at all. Leafy didn’t want to be like this. But, it was just that pervasive feeling of shame and embarrassment that was holding her back. Leafy didn’t want to be seen as “other” or “different from the rest.” She didn’t want to feel like a burden or as if everyone had to change their personalities around her. Maybe she was scared that it made her weak, that if she were just stronger, then everything would be fine.

What if this was just destined to be her life? Stuck in a constant slump of feeling like nothing she does really matters and she’s just wasting away. That her purpose was to be here, exist for a little while, die, and achieve absolutely nothing in her life. That she could smile and wave all she wanted, but ultimately, she was just a meaningless waste of space, floating around with no real goal in mind before it all went away one day. What a scary thought.

It felt like, even if Leafy could tell they were trying to help, everyone around her was starting to become more… distant and worried. Sure, they’d never say it to her face but they didn’t have to; the subtle clues said all the words they would never dare utter. To them, she was now as fragile as an egg, ready to crack at any given moment. What a painful irony. People always say that vulnerability is the key to developing healthy relationships but the moment her mask had dropped and showed her real vulnerable self, now it was suddenly a problem.

People didn’t want someone to be vulnerable and open with them, they just wanted a sense of normalcy. They wanted to know that everything was fine, and everything would always be fine. No problems, no fighting, just a sense of ignorant bliss. After all, who would want to help someone with an inner demon? They should just deal with it themself and make sure everything looks all nice and peachy on the outside.

And why was that? Because mental health was gross and icky and something to never be talked about. People can preach about how mental health matters and should be talked about but when it comes down to it, the belief that it’s abnormal will likely prevail for a long time.

Same with those letters, they weren’t actually thanking her for being open. They were just happy at the newfound “drama” and the ability to be able to latch on to someone who shared similar issues. If their favorite BFB contestant was just as miserable as they were, then their problems were okay! Misery loves company, doesn’t it? Miserable people love to connect with others who are just as miserable as they are, feeding off of each other’s loneliness.

If everyone hates themselves, then suddenly it’s not weird anymore.

Oh. Oh no. Was that her and Firey? Two miserable people reconnecting so they could be miserable together? Was their relationship toxic and harmful to both of them? What would that be for them if they got back together? Would it lead to a tragic ending to their story where they both become so depressed that they decide the only way out is to ki-!

Her thoughts were cut off by the sound of a door opening and slamming shut. What the hell was that? Leafy scooted out of her chair and opened her door to see Gelatin stomping his way toward his bedroom. His eyebrows buried into themselves, his teeth gritted against themselves and he started mumbling under his breath.

“Stupid fucking garbage fire… Everything sucks! Stupid fucking piece of shit asshole…”

Leafy was appalled. Gelatin cursing was quite a rarity. Most of the time, Gelatin was like her, avoiding using heavy curse words. Although, her language hadn’t exactly been squeaky clean as of late so who was she to judge? Still, it made her nervous. What could have gotten Gelatin mad enough to where he was cursing up a storm? It must have been something to really grind his gears.

She watched him as his heavy footsteps hit against the ground. Leafy wanted to say something but she wasn’t sure if she could. Most of the time, she was the one getting comforted by others. A helpful but also suffocating action. What could someone like her do anyway? What if she just made things worse?

Leafy tried to think about herself and how she wanted to be treated when upset. Well, typically, she had this feeling of wanting to be left alone… but not really. She’d push people away when deep down, she’d want them to keep trying and show that they cared and wanted to help. But, most people did leave her alone, which was her own fault.

A loneliness of her own making.

Ah, but, Gelatin and her were two very different people. What if he told her that he wanted to be left alone and truly meant it and she came off as pushy trying to help him? Or what if he thought that the best way for him to calm down was to be left alone with his thoughts? She already had been told that she was ‘pushy’ and ‘overactive’ and ‘impulsive.’ All things about her which were false.

Still, it wouldn’t hurt to just… ask him what’s wrong, right? If he wanted to talk, then he would. If he didn’t, then he wouldn’t. Easy, right? A nice and simple test to know what he wanted from her. This couldn’t possibly end badly with Gelatin yelling at her and telling her to leave him the fuck alone and never speak to him again. 

Nope. No way! That was just her mind’s tendency to assume the worst out of every single possible scenario, which then made her fearful of doing anything because if she made one mistake, then it would mean that everything was her fault and everyone would feel nothing but disdain and contempt for her existence, as she did herself.

“Uhh, Gelatin… Are you… okay?” Leafy questioned, gulping down her nerves and the intense anxiety she was feeling over such a simple question. A question that someone who was normal would never feel strange about a small question.

Gelatin looked up at her with his vexed expression for a moment. Leafy winced, expecting the worst and waiting for the moment when he would berate her for even thinking about talking to him and telling her to leave him alone.

But, that didn’t happen. Instead, his expression softened and his face soured as he walked up to her and buried his face into her chest. Leafy stood there, absolutely astonished by the sight as Gelatin’s arms wrapped around her and gave her a one-sided hug.

“…I fucked up badly…” He groaned, his voice cracking as Leafy felt something wet leaking onto her chest. She froze, unsure of what to do next. She racked her brain to answer the question of; how do I comfort someone?