Chapter Text
Remus was used to getting A’s. All through his years at primary school he got A’s, 10/10’s, 100%’s, stickers with smiley faces on them - he got them all. Even during the years his mother taught him at home, he was used to getting pats on the head and having his best work stuck to the fridge with his favourite dinosaur magnet. Wizard school was different though, and he knew not to be proud of A’s anymore. A’s simply meant Acceptable, and he knew he had to be better than acceptable to prove he belonged at Hogwarts.
Two and a half months into secondary school, it was proving harder than Remus thought to keep his grades up. He was getting E’s and O’s in almost everything apart from two subjects: Defence Against the Dark Arts and Astronomy. He wasn’t bad at them. Even though his mum was a Muggle, she’d still taught him both Muggle and Magic subjects, and Defence had always been one of his favourites. Astronomy not so much. Staring at the night sky made his skin feel itchy even though he knew it was more important that he understood the moon than it was for anyone else.
The Defence teacher at Hogwarts didn’t seem to like him very much though. He was a grumpy man, notoriously harsh, but everyone said he was at least fair - that if you worked hard and handed in good work he would reward you with good grades in return. Remus wanted to impress Professor Odium really badly. He loved Defence, it was exciting and cool and, in his opinion, everything that being a wizard should be about. But Odium seemed to hate him even though Remus triple checked everything he handed in and made sure it was perfect. The best he’d got in the class was an A, and it was what he was looking at then too, sitting in the class they shared with the Ravenclaws, staring at the big, red ‘A’ at the top of his essay.
There weren’t any crosses out or corrections on his work, and he’d even made sure his handwriting was as neat as possible so every point could be easily read. He’d written it out twice, not that it had made much of a difference at all.
“Yes!” Remus heard from his right. When he looked over, his dormmate James was waving his essay in Sirius and Peter’s faces, “E! Told you I could write a better essay than you in twenty minutes.”
“Woah,” Peter said, his eyes wide as his hands went up to cover the grade on his own work, “that’s totally wicked.”
“Ha! Read this and eat slugs, Potter,” Sirius shoved his parchment in James’ face and cackled loudly, not caring at all that most of the class were now openly staring at them.
“Gryffindor or not, you are still clearly a Black,” Professor Odium muttered, “you, unlike others, have not yet brought shame to your family.”
Remus looked away at that, his cheeks heating. It wasn’t the first time Odium had said something like that in front of the class. He wasn’t even the only teacher who said those things. Remus wasn’t stupid, he knew they were about him. He knew he wasn’t supposed to let it get to him either. He was supposed to report things like that to his Head of House, Professor McGonagall. She was nice and she never treated him any differently than anyone else, but Remus had heard her speaking to his parents on one of the occasions she’d visited his home, and she’d promised to let them know when, not if, Remus encountered any prejudice because of what he was.
And Remus didn’t want his parents to find out. He heard them talking about him late into the night sometimes and all they spoke about was how worried they were, how dangerous he was and how dangerous things could be for him if people found out his secret. They never said much else. Remus knew that their fear, that danger, it would always follow him around, would always be the first thing people noticed and talked about.
“Mind telling my parents that, Professor?” Sirius said, never afraid to talk back even to the strictest teachers, “only they’re still a little twisted up about the whole red and gold thing.”
“Enough of your cheek, Black.” Odium was back to glowering out at the class as he spelled the blackboard clean, “read Chapter Eleven of your textbooks before next class. You’re dismissed.”
Remus stood quickly and gathered his books in his arms, stuffing his essay to the bottom of his bag where it couldn’t hurt him. They had a fifteen minute break now before Potions, and he intended to run up to the dorm and dump it there so he didn’t have to see it until the end of the day.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one who thought dumping his books off was a good idea. When he got up to the dorm he only had a minute of peace before the other three boys were walking through the door.
“- don’t know what you’re agreeing to, Jamie.” Sirius’ boastful voice was the first to reach him, “I could beat you at any essay, in any subject.”
“You’re pants at Herbology, bet I could beat you in that.”
“You’re on,” Sirius grinned, then turned and saw Remus standing by the trunk at the base of his bed, the one right in the corner by the window just next to Sirius’ own. “How did you do on the Defence essay?”
The question didn’t sound mean, and there was no way Sirius knew about his condition or the unfair way some of the teachers treated him, but Remus panicked anyway. Sirius stood looking at him, obviously waiting for an answer.
“Um...okay,” Remus managed. As predicted, Sirius huffed a sigh and turned back to James. The two of them were joined at the hip and had been since day one, even though they’d never even met before the Hogwarts Express. Remus thought James was probably the only one in the entire year that didn’t think Sirius was a bit intimidating.
“It’s okay, I didn’t do very well either,” Peter said. He held up his essay and Remus very carefully hid a wince when he saw the large red ‘D’ at the top. Getting a Dreadful in Odium’s class was tantamount to months of extra work.
“Aw, c’mon Pete, you’ll ace the next one,” James said, “it isn’t particularly hard.”
Remus tried to tune them out as he dumped the contents of his bag on his bed and turned to his trunk. He didn’t register James asking about his essay, nor did he see him walk over to his side of the room. By the time he noticed the hand reaching over to snatch the essay up, he was too late to stop it.
“Hey -”
“Oh, you got an A, that’s not so bad,” James smiled in a way he probably thought looked encouraging, then Remus watched in horror as his eyes tracked further down the parchment. “Hold the wand, this can’t be right,” he exclaimed, drawing the attention of the other two boys, “this is really good.”
“Let me see,” Sirius said, snatching it from James. His dark eyebrows furrowed as he scanned the words in front of him. “You should ask to get this re-marked. An A is dragon’s dung for this.”
Remus took the essay back and looked away. He wouldn’t ask for it to be looked over again, not for anything.
“No, it’s okay.”
“But you worked really hard on that, I saw you!” Peter said.
“Yeah, it’s even better than mine.”
“Like that’s hard, Potter.”
“Fuck off, Sirius,” James said with no bite. They did that a lot, swearing at each other. Apparently they’d heard some Muggleborns from a few years above use the words and instantly took them on themselves, claiming they were ‘way cooler’ than the Wizarding swear words they’d heard growing up. They’d already lost a dozen house points and served two detentions for saying them in McGonagall’s earshot. “Why won’t you ask Odium to mark it again?”
“Are you scared of him?” Sirius asked with a scoff.
“No!” Remus said, “he just doesn’t like me. Won’t stop happening if I say something, will it? Get worse, more like.”
“That’s stupid,” Sirius said with more venom than Remus thought necessary. “Are you a Gryffindor or not?”
“Well - yeah. I mean, obviously.”
“People are shit.” Sirius said with finality as he threw the essay back onto Remus’ bed, “doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go down without a fight.”
“I say we get back at Odium,” James said, “he has it coming.”
“Yeah,” Peter nodded along, “he definitely has it coming.”
“All that crap about not bringing shame to our families...fuck him.” Sirius fell back onto his bed and smiled open-mouthed at the top of the four poster, “that’s all I’ve been trying to do.”
“I -” Remus looked up at their expectant faces and wanted more than anything to join in. He missed his friends from home like mad and all the stuff they used to get up to. It would be so easy to say yes to these new friends and prank their teacher, maybe get in trouble and then laugh it all off late at night when they should be sleeping. Remus was a second away from agreeing before he heard a voice in his head, a memory of his father talking quietly to his mother when Remus should have been tucked up in bed. “As long as he keeps out of trouble, he’ll be fine. If people find out what he is he’ll be in danger...forget friends, they’d chase him out of there.” He’d never forgotten those words. He couldn’t afford to. “I can’t, sorry.”
Three sets of disappointed eyes stared back at him, but Remus wouldn’t budge.
“Alright,” James said with a shrug, “don’t dob us in if we decide to do something anyway, would’ya?”
“No...sure,” Remus struggled to understand why they’d risk pulling a prank on one of the fiercest teachers at school for him when they weren’t even friends, but it made him feel happy in a way he hadn’t been since arriving there. Like he had people watching his back, on his team with no questions asked. “Of course I won’t.”
“We’re groovy then,” James twirled his wand and a sparkle of red confetti shot out, “we should probably head to Potions.”
“Cool, aren’t we doing Calming Draughts today?” Peter hopped up from his bed.
“Yeah,” Sirius yawned and made no attempt at moving, “so boring.”
“Right, yeah,” Peter fiddled with the strap of his bag as he nodded, “bit too easy.”
“Mmmhmm,” Sirius hummed. As he stood up, Remus saw him roll his eyes and a surge of annoyance coursed through him. He’d obviously never had to try to make friends before like the rest of the world had. He was too confident, too sure of himself to be anything but cool. He probably had a million friends growing up who idolised him like Peter did. “You coming, Lupin?”
“I’ll be a few, thanks.” Remus made sure to smile at Peter as they filed out of the dorm.
*
Remus put the prank out of his head for the rest of the day, but the lingering sense of belonging was a lot harder to shake. It wouldn’t last, Remus knew that much for sure, but it was nice while it lasted. He didn’t even think the others liked him all that much.
James was the one who tried to include him in things. He was perpetually cheery, always looking at the world like it was all there for him, and most days it seemed like it was. He was filthy rich, Remus knew that much. But he was kind with it, like he had so much money he could give it all away with a smile so long as it made someone else happy too. Anyway, he seemed pretty insistent on them all teaming up for something or other at least once a week - but Sirius, Sirius was weird. Some days he ignored Remus completely and on others he joined in with James’ pestering. He was like that, either full of energy or completely moody, though never around James. Whenever James was around, Sirius was happy. Remus thought he was going crazy imagining it, but sometimes at night he’d look over and see Sirius awake, staring at the top of his bed with a screwed up face, and that was real. Remus did the same because he panicked about the full moon or because he was in pain from the last one, but he didn’t know why Sirius did it. At least Peter was fairly easy going. He just wanted to be liked and was obviously counting his lucky stars at being roomed with the two coolest boys in the year and was determined not to squander the opportunity. Remus liked him. He was normal where the others weren’t, and something about his eager face and familiar Muggle references made him feel safe.
It worked, their trio. There wasn’t any room for Remus.
It would be easier for everyone if he just put his head down and got through school without getting his hopes up about having friends. That was a privilege he wasn’t going to get, and didn’t even deserve.
Besides, Potions went fine. Slughorn didn’t seem to care what he was as long as he respected and understood potioneering. And Remus sat next to one of the Gryffindor girls in his year, a redhead called Lily, who seemed to have a knack for the subject.
Transfiguration came after that and Professor McGonagall treated everyone the same with her characteristic glare, though Remus liked to think it softened ever so slightly when it looked him over.
By lunch, everything was back to normal. Remus sat opposite James and Sirius and next to Peter like he had done since the Sorting, and as usual he mostly tuned them out to talk to Marlene, a quiet, bookish kind of girl he liked a lot.
It was for the best, really it was. But try as he might, Remus couldn’t quite tune out the boys’ muttering, not when he knew it was about him this time.
“- seriously can’t let him get away with this,” James whispered to his co-conspirators, “it’s just not right.”
“I told you, adults are the worst,” Sirius said as he pushed the food around on his plate, “they always hate you for something.”
“So what are we going to do? Make his things fly away when he needs them like we did to Professor Flitwick?”
“Think bigger, Pete.”
“You noticed the potion on Slughorn’s shelf, right James? Pete, you saw it?”
“Er -”
“Genius!” James’ voice shot up two octaves, “he won’t know what hit him.”
“Er, what potion was it?” Peter asked.
“A Shrinking potion,” Sirius smirked and started to gesture dramatically with his hands, using the abundance of food and drink on the table to demonstrate his idea. “We’ll take some and put it in that stupid goblet he’s always drinking out of and leave it on his desk, then when he drinks it, he’ll -”
“Sorry,” Remus cut in, unable to hold back anymore, not when he was hearing such a ridiculous plan, “are you actually planning to ‘Alice in Wonderland’ the meanest teacher at school?”
“Thought you weren’t interested,” Sirius shot back lightning quick, “‘sides it’s my idea, don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Me neither,” Peter shook his head, “he’s not copying.”
“Yeah, I, uh, I never said you were. Alice in Wonderland is just, you know, a reference.”
“Is it like one of those Muggle films?” James asked, his attention now fully on Remus.
“Yeah, and it’s a -”
“Do you know how they work?”
“...a book,” Remus finished lamely, not quite sure what to do in the face of James’ enthusiasm. “It’s an animation.”
“An animation,” Sirius said, his surliness forgotten in an instant, “what’s that?”
“It’s a film, but everything is drawn by hand and then it’s all put together really quick like so it moves, and it’s filmed and shown in a cinema, or, or you can get it on a VHS to watch at home.” Remus said. “It has songs and stuff.”
“How long are these films?” Sirius asked, eyes widening.
“An hour, like, or an hour and a half maybe.”
“Woah, that’s totally cool,” James breathed and Sirius nodded effusively, “they draw a whole hour and a half’s worth of stories and you can watch it at home?”
“Yeah, I mean, if you have a TV.”
“Do you?” Sirius demanded, “can we come and watch Alice in Wonderland on it?”
“Yeah,” Remus cleared his throat, “I suppose.”
“Yes! Remus, you’re the best!” James pushed the last piece of treacle tart his way, even though everyone knew that was his favourite.
“Yeah,” Sirius agreed with a small smile. “How come you know all this, anyway?”
“I’m half-blood, aren’t I? My mum’s a Muggle and my dad’s a Wizard. They taught me both Muggle and Magic subjects growing up.”
“Woah,” Sirius smiled properly then, the first time he’d smiled so big at Remus. It made his whole face look different, less intimidating somehow. “I’m jealous. My parents only ever let me learn Wizarding things. Stupid, if you ask me. Why can’t we know what the Muggles know too? Bet some of it’s totally awesome.”
“Will you teach us, Remus?” James asked, “please?”
“Yeah, yeah I can,” Remus still had his favourite Muggle books upstairs and he bet his mum would be more than happy to send more up from home. “You seriously never learnt about Muggles at all?”
Sirius shrugged, “my family hates them, but my Cousin Andy taught me some, and my Uncle Alphie too. They’re the only people worth knowing from my family ‘sides me and Reggie. That’s my brother.”
Remus hadn’t known about Sirius’ family before Hogwarts, but it was impossible to be ignorant of them as a student here. They were treated like Wizarding royalty, though it became clear to Remus very early on that they weren’t the nice kind of royal. They were the King and Queen of Hearts of Wizarding Society. They were surely the very last people Remus should be getting close to, but Sirius was different. He was the heir to it all, but he didn’t seem to be anything like the rest of them.
“I went to a Muggle school for a bit,” Peter said quietly, “both my parents are Magic though,” he added quickly. “But I know some things.”
“Why didn’t you say?” James asked.
“Well...I didn’t think you’d think it was cool.”
“People who think it isn’t cool aren’t worth knowing,” Sirius said with finality, “you need to teach us what you know too, Pete.”
“Okay,” Peter said with a happy smile.
“So, are you in on the plan then, Lupin, or what?”
“Only if you never call me that again,” Remus grinned back, feeling free in the face of this acceptance. Maybe, if they accepted the Muggle parts of him, they’d accept the wolf bits too.
“Fine,” Sirius said without bite. It seemed that once you were on Sirius’ side you no longer had to deal with the glares and fake smiles. “Are you in on the plan, Remus . ”
“Sure,” Remus smiled so big it hurt his cheeks as he leant across the table to high five his new friends, his mind already dreaming up ideas for their next stunts, miles away from the worries his parents had instilled in him.
It was going to be fun.