Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The only thing that accompanied Amane most of the time were the sounds of cogs clinging together, gears and bolts often falling out of their supposed place, the shuffling of his clothes. And occasionally, the voice of (an often singing) Tsukasa could be mixed in, producing a not so polished melody.

Today was one of those 'occasional' moments he sometimes had, days where everything listed above combined together, fading in the background, him not paying much attention to it.

“Hey, Amane?”

His brother not responding to the call, Tsukasa nonetheless proceeds after a short silence. 

“You know, the school festival coming up next week ?”

Still embracing the lack of noise, the older twin grunts and wipes his forehead with one of his forearms. He sighs after a while and steals a quick glance at his brother before fixing another bolt.

“You're gonna participate, right?”

Obviously. It would be out of character for him, if he did anything else than participate in the biggest event of the school year. Compared to him, he wasn't so keen in festivals. Or anything loud, really. Festivals are said to be more fun if you experience it with people, but he wasn't really sure about that fact — actually, not that he would be able to know. Out of the few things he didn't possess much knowledge of, experience with company was one of those, because he didn't have any.

“Yeah. You also know in how this year's special?”

Amane stops for a bit, his eyes pointed towards the old high ceiling. “Umm…” He hums out loud, trying to remember what Tsukasa was talking about. He mutters a "oh" and settles his head back down when his brain eventually allows him to recall. He heard the school announce some type of mixed festival, last assembly… them not having enough finances this school year to organize a sports festival, they would mix it with the events festival into a singular, big one. It meant that by March next year, they wouldn't be doing anything. Not that he cared much anyway.

“The mixed festival?”

“Oh, so you actually paid attention this time ? Normally, you space out.”

Tsukasa laughs as his sibling clicks his tongue, getting slightly angry. They both knew he wasn't wrong, not in the slightest, but it still annoyed the older brother. The star loving boy was not the most… present kid there was, after all. He dreaded the weekly assemblies, and just like his brother, he was not a morning person, so it habitly took all his energy to just stand there and try to keep his eyes open… not really his fault, thought of it this way. He only ever listened to something if he was interested in it, and that was saying something. Not many things could catch his attention, other than astrology. 

“I signed up for lots of stuff. Fun stuff.”

“Okay…” He says, not sure where his younger brother was going. He was rather…ambitious, to say the least.

“But it turns out some of it started overlapping. I can't go since practice is at the same time.”

Amane rolled his eyes. What a tragedy, he thought.

“Can't you sign out?” He suggests anyway, stating what should have been the obvious. 

“No. There's one week left, remember ? Not enough time to look for someone else. They're kinda counting on me. I'm their only hope.” he declares in a pleased voice.

“Not that I don't want to listen to your rent,” the other admits, finally turning to his brother's direction, “but just why would you tell me this ? There's nothing I can do.”

Tsukasa looks at the crowd of students in the field, and looks back at his brother. A devilish grin appears on his face, and he starts cackling. One of his legs crossed, the other one swinging, he was holding back both into these positions using his hands.

“But there is something you can do. That's where you come in, Amane.”

He lets go of the tool that was in his hand, and his eyes widen.

“You'll be filling in for me where I can't make it !”

“No, no, no. I can't.” He says, shaking his head negatively. “I can't, Tsukasa. You know that.” he insists, but that results in his brother's grin becoming even larger.

“Of course you can. And before you try to talk me out of it, hear me out,” Tsukasa gestures a pausing finger, but Amane ignores it.

“How would that even work? They'll know there are two of us.” he states, progressively panicking. 

“You should have known better than to take more than you could handle !”

Amane stares at Tsukasa's big, yellow eyes, and they stare back at him. He feels a chill down his spine, for his brother had just said the exact same sentence as him, even down to the tone and timing. For a very brief second, they talked the same. They sounded the same. They were almost one. It was creeping him to his very core. He took a step back or two, as if to get away from his brother's reach, even though he was sitting at the high, glassless window of the old clock tower.

“Oh, Amane,” the brother dramatically sighs, “You're so predictable.” He chuckles, clearly amused at his brother's distress. “We look identical. Well, we are identical. Physically, at least. They wouldn't tell the difference if you participate in my name.”

Amane mouths something, but no words could be heard. He was gaping, trying to find something to contradict him, but his efforts were vain.

“Please do it !” He implores in a whiny, kid like voice that was very characteristic of him. “You're not going to participate in anything, right ? That's expected of you anyway.”

His comment aches at his heart like a sharp blade, but he still couldn't deny him. The read his twin had on his personality and behavior pattern was incredible, so much so that it felt like at times, he knew more about him than himself.

“...what did you sign up for ?” He asks as he looks away, not able to refuse the other's demand.

“Well, I can't ask you to sing, that's for sure.” he waves his hand in front of him, chasing the idea, considering it a bad one. “You'll be doing football and basketball.”

Sports ? He hadn't touched a ball in almost a decade. He hadn't tried running either, since his health suddenly got better when he was younger and the doctors asked him to abstain from intense physical activity.

That was a bit unconscious of him, to suggest it.

“You know I can't do sports.”

“Have you tried ?” he asks in a flat tone, a bit of annoyance still coming through. Amane looks his way once more, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. He sees that his brother's face has changed expression too, to a bored one. Because of the distance between them, it was as if Tsukasa was looking down at him.

“You limit yourself all the time,” he sighs — in an annoyed manner this time — and closes his eyes, folding his arms. “It's been almost ten years since you've fallen ill. And yet, you never try. It's almost like you were afraid to.”

He wanted to justify himself for the third time since the start of their conversation, but his brother was not letting him.

“Before I even told you my plan, you were already refusing. Already declaring you couldn't. What's with you ? You're just a huge wimp.” he leans against the old brick wall of the window and opens his eyes again, darting down.

“I'm not a wimp.”

“A coward, then.”

“I'm not.”

“A scaredy cat.” Tsukasa smiles, bothered by his brother's resistance, an eyebrow lifted off its initial position. 

“Can you stop ? I'm not scared.”

“A namby-pampy.”

He wanted to deny it one more time, but stops when the word gets fully processed in his mind. A…what ? 

“Where did you even learn that ?”

“Who knows ?” He replies, shrugging and looking elsewhere before returning to his brother. “Doesn't really matter, does it ? I'm still calling you a wet chicken.”

Amane huffs. This was clearly not getting anywhere. The exchange was become pettier by the minute. He felt the heat steadily coming to his head.

“Tsukasa. Enough of this.”

“What's stopping you ?”

If it was indeed not cowardness, it was with no hesitation, doubt. Maybe he was not afraid of dying, but he was doubting his abilities. He was right to, because he knew neither rules of basketball nor football to be able to replace an actual, experienced player in both sports. But the twins knew that it wasn't the reason. The reason was hidden deep within Amane, and he was not even conscious of it.

After a quarter hour passed in silence, Tsukasa got down from where he was in a clean, agile jump. He was getting tired of asking and pleading. He wasn't one to call on the services of others often, so saying he was disappointed when his ask for help was denied should be an understatement.

“Wait.” he gets stopped in his tracks and looks behind in a corner of his eye.

“It's…it's just those two, right?”

He nods silently as he turns back around to his twin.

“I'll…I'll do it. ”

The childish boy's face suddenly brightens up, a big smile draws itself as he runs and jumps at his brother. He holds him tightly, so happy that the air around him even becomes chirper.

“You mean it ? You'll really do it ? No take backs, okie ?” He questions him, holding him tighter and tighter. 

“Yes…I mean it… Please get of me now. You're suffocating.” 

His brother lets go, and as he's catching his breath, all Amane manages to think about is how he will be managing this mess he agreed to participate in.

Chapter Text

When all was said and done, Amane headed towards his class, empty, with the exception of his main teacher. The latter sighed as his favorite student shows himself at the frame.

“Yugi. You didn't sign up for anything.” he reminds the student.

“Do I have to ?” He asks nonchalantly as he makes his way to the teacher's side.

“No one is allowed not to participate. I can't do anything about it.” The older man retaliates.

“C'mon, Tsuchigomori-sensei. Exempt me, please ?” He pleads with puppy eyes, hands together.

The teacher looks away, sweat beading his cheek. He felt that if he looked at him even a little more, he would end up accepting his student's foolish request.

“And its not like I am not participating… ” He mutters, pouting. 

The teacher turns around, impressed. He looks at his student with hopeful eyes.

“What do you mean ? Are you actually going to do something this time ?” 

Tsuchigomori was right to be suprised. The kid had yet to take part in anything that required group contact, or working with multiple people — since the beginning of the year. Even paired homework, he was always willing to do it alone. No, he preferred to. He wasn't an outcast per se, but he oustcasted himself on purpose. That was the conclusion the man came to from months of observation. 

“Yeah… but, it's a bit of a situation.” Amane scratches his cheek, embarassed. 

“You're participating…in your brother's name ? ” the teacher almost yelled out of frustration once the student finished his tale.

Of course, it would have been too easy for this child to comply normally. How did he even get wrapped in this ? He thought him more sensible, responsible and mature. Guess was still a kid after all.

He shakes his head in disbelief and defeat, aand chases him away with his hand.

“You tangled yourself in a pretty mess,” he admits, huffing even more. Amane stood there, awkward at his teacher's reaction. “The least I can do is send you to the student council. Try to explain your situation there, and we'll know what to do after.”

“But Sensei- ”

“No, no sensei. I've had it with you.” he grunts.

Amane pouts yet again, his legs dragging him out of the classroom. He had to head to the high school building, and at the thought of it, he shudders. High schoolers were scary. And tall. Scary tall.

He was right. The aura of the building was very different compared to where he came from. Ominous, even. Just as he was standing there, he could feel the dread of every resident of the building. Their tired grunts could reach him, their everlasting sighs were cuddling him like a breeze. Their tiredness, sweat and tears could be felt on his body. And to think that this was awaiting him. It felt as if the ghosts of everyone who ever studied here were hunting this place. Well, cursing it would be a more appropriate term, because he was sure no one had died at the school. And if someone did die , he hadn't heard of them. Yet.

Once inside, his unease did not let up, right until he managed to find the door to the student council. And when he arrived, he felt absolutely defeated, seeing the paper that was quickly taped on the door. It was a note, neatly handwritten, saying :

SORRY. THE SC IS ON A BREAK. :D

He could feel the curious, non-malicious, yet intense gazes of the passerbys on his back, but he was too stressed to turn around and meet their gaze too.

He heard some muffled voice inside, coming closer and closer, until a tall boy stood in front of him, after sliding the door. He mutters a suprised "oh" when he notices Amane's presence. While it was not probably his intention, he felt like the tall boy was indirectly telling him "You're so short that I almost walked you over." 

“Well hello there,” he greets in a friendly and enthusiastic manner, “What can I do for you?”

The brown-haired boy stood there for a bit, hesitating. He was sure he had heard this voice from somewhere, even though it was his first time coming to this side of the school. Seeing as he was a bit afraid, the older one gently takes the other's hand to pull him in the office. Surprised, he jumps a bit, before meeting the stranger's gaze. Amane was not into categories, and so, he didn't have many favorite things and many things he hated. But if he had to name one, physical touch was strictly on things he couldn't stand. It felt weird, the way his body reacted when he felt the skin of another person coming into contact with his. He felt like ants were crawling up that area, and he was in no way fond of it. It displeased him greatly. But the gaze of the stranger was so gentle, so warm and so empty of any malice that all the stress pent up in him vanished in an instant. The patient smile he added as he saw him relax was enough for him to feel completely at ease.

“Are you shy? Come inside, let's talk there.” he pulls him by the hand and slides the door shut. His voice was very friendly. And soft. And… familiar. 

Once inside, he noticed another person. It was a girl this time, sitting on a desk, reading a book. She felt Amane's gaze on her, lifted her head, and did a small greeting gesture with her hand, accompanied by a little smile. Amane felt a bit mesmerized by her looks. There was no denying she was not his type, but there was no denying she was very pretty either. She had long, yellow, messy hair wrapped in a ponytail, and big, blue eyes that looked full of life. Her calm demeanor showed that she was maybe wise as well. She felt like a foreigner, but somehow felt very Japanese, too.

The boy who welcomed him slides a chair next to the door, and gestures him to take place. Once he executed himself, he got a seat as well and started the conversation. 

“Okay, now let's talk. I'm here to listen.”

The younger boy freezes at that sentence. There was only one person who would say that to him, other than his father. The only person he talked with while at school, other than his brother. Other than his teacher.

“Senpai ?” He almost gasps in a low voice.

Hearing his surprised whisper, the senior student gasps as well.

“Oh my… That raspy voice— it's you ! ”

He almost jumps out of his seat. He places both hands on Amane's shoulders and smiles warmly.

“I can't believe it's you !” He hugs quickly and fixates his pupils in the other's. “It's the first time we see each other, is it not ? I'm so happy to see you !” 

He embraces him again, squeezing his cheeks. “Minamoto-san, this is the boy I keep telling you about ! My favorite Kohai !”

“That's an excessive reaction you have,” Minamoto points out, amused, “Look at him, he's overwhelmed by how touchy you are.”

He quickly lets go of his junior and looks at him in a sorry manner. He takes on a whiney voice. “I'm so sorry about that. Like Mina-chan said, I'm a bit…touchy.”

“Excessively so. And I told you not to call me that, Adohira.”

Amane smiles, embarassed. He hadn't expected such a warm reaction. The guy — who turned out to be the Student Council President — was overly excited. Can't say he wasn't happy, too. After all, he finally discovered how the person he trusts the most looks like, even if accidentally. He had messy lightly colored purple hair, and had tons of freckles. Round and yet sharp eyes that express all his tenderness, and a big smile that drew you in. Big, soft and warm hands. He didn't imagine how he looked like before, but now he couldn't imagine him looking any other way.

“Sorry about that, friend,” he says again after finishing a petty fight with whom he assumed to be the Student Council Vice President. 

“By the way, no need to be formal with me, since we know each other already. My first name's fine. Call me Adohira.” he declares, patting his head.

Adohira. Even his name was a strangely calm one. If you could even say that about a name.

“I'm here to discuss someting about the school festival.” Amane says shyly. A grunt could be heard from the other side of the office, where the Vice President was sitting. “Festival this, festival that,” she huffs, getting of the desk and stretching. “I'm so sick of it. I've seen all of it. It's all that inhabits my mind, before going to sleep, and after waking up.” She face plants on the desk after sitting down — on her chair, this time. “Instead of thinking about what I could wear for my next date, I'm thinking about who could wear what on the next day.” She mumbles before shortly crying then falling completely silent.

“...You'll get your next date eventually,” Adohira reassures, “I promised. But right now, work comes first. I've told you that. So chin up, one more week to go.”

She grunts again before lifting her thumb up, her face still hidden in one of her arms that rested on the desk.

The President sighs before turning to Amane again.

“What about the event?” He asks, clearly avoiding the words "school" and "festival".

“Well, there's this student who's participating in lots of events.” he gulps before continuing, realizing how absurd the problem really is. “Some of them overlapped in timing, and because there's not a lot of time left, I've got to replace him where he can't make it.”

The older boy nods slowly, getting up from his seat. “I see. So, you would like me to change his name from the activities he couldn't partake in?” He asks, heading towards his desk.

“Well, no. I'd still want him there. I want him to take credit.”

He stops and spins back, suprised. 

“...well, that's unusual…I don't see why not ?” He shrugs.

“The thing is… I didn't…I didn't sign up for anything. It's gonna get me in trouble. Or so my teacher says.” he fidgets his fingers, looking away.

“Well, it's true. No one can't not do anything,” he agrees, nodding his head and putting his hands on his hips. He notices Amane's shyness increase, and huffs.

“Well, I'll tell you what. We're maybe understaffed for the festival.”

“Definitely.”

“Yes, thank you for clarifying, Minamoto-san,” he says behind his shoulder. “If you can help us with some council duties, I'll close my eyes on your issue.”

His big, round yellow eyes meet his senior's, in a way that made him look like a defeated puppy. 

“Really ?” He asks, still playing with his fingers, but this time locking eyes.

The purple head felt all kinds of emotions wash him up. He wanted to cuddle the kid in front of him badly, he found him really adorable. 

“Yeah,” he confirms with teary, admiring eyes, “It wouldn't be much, but it's all I can do for you.”

The kid's face brightened, and he felt relieved. 

“Well, that settles it, doesn't it?” He says chirply, accompanying the shorter one to the exit. “I'll call you after the end. How's your teacher called ?”

“It's Tsuchigomori-sensei.”

“Oh, is he related to Tsuchi-san?”

Amane blinks twice. Tsuchi-san? 

“I think it's the same teacher, you dimwit.” Minamoto calls out, finally getting up from her short — not really — nap.

“I think that makes sense.” He scratches his head. “What are the odds that two teacher share the same name ?”

He slides the door, Amane still getting pushed all the way to the corridor. 

“Come to think of it, who's the student we're talking about?”

Oh. He almost forgot that detail.

“Yugi Tsukasa.”

“Okay, see you then, Yugi-kun.”

He slides the door shut, and the older twin stands there for about a minute, confused. How did he know his name ? He never told him that him and Tsukasa were twins, or much less related. Maybe he's met his brother before and upon seeing him, guessed his identity? Despite his airhead appearance, it looks like he was more observant and attentive than he'd let on.

At least that was taken care of…

He marches in the building, pensively thinking about what to do next.

Chapter Text

He and Adohira met in circumstances one would find rather odd.

He was sitting behind an old abandoned cherry tree behind the school grounds, and the older boy was patrolling around the area. He heard sobs and, well, like a normal person would have been, was intrigued by them. No one usually came around, so naturally, Amane didn't expect him to show up.

He hid and refused to show his face. Adohira didn't fret at the cold shoulder and stayed at the other side of the large tree, offering to lend an ear to his problems. He didn't talk at first, so the visitor told a tale about some kind of imaginary elephants, and that seemed to ease him up : The kid finally talked, but in small bites, and the teen listened without a word, without a judge. He thought that was enough to drive him away. He thought that no one would want to burden themselves with another person's worries.

What the brown-haired boy didn't expect was for him to show up again at the same spot the next day. On that other side of the tree, telling him he would hear him rent again. And on the day after that. And the day that followed. At first, he found him weird, but soon, everyday, the two students would meet. He didn't ask him who he was. He didn't try to see his face. He just listened and pitched in from time to time. He also talked about his life, in a very mysterious and vague way, more so than himself. And without realizing it, Amane became fond of him. He told him everything that weighed on his mind, everything that went wrong and everything that went right. He told him feelings he didn't know he had hidden in him. He opened his heart out like a book, and Adohira took the book in his hand with the most precious care.

It was an odd relationship to have, but it was special to him. It was one he desperately needed. A bond that clothed itself like an older siblinghood.

“Amane !”

At the sound of his name, the astrological boy starts stepping away from the gate wall he was leaned against. Tsukasa is running towards him with a happy smile, and soon catches up — after jumping on his back, of course.

The sky had a pleasant color to itself ; kind of purple, kind of orange, and a bit of light pink and dark blue could be found in the mix. It didn't sting his eyes like on those odd days where it felt like the sun was about to engulf the earth in its gaze, and it wasn't blinding. Something about it was soothing to an extent.

His brother was talking, telling him about his adventures of the day and about his horrible, horrible grades that would make his mother faint with worry. But Amane wasn't really paying attention. As he gets closer and closer to his house, all he can even think about was the festival. Would he have to socialize with his teammates ? Wouldn't they find out in an instant that he wasn't Tsukasa ? Then what ? Was he even at playing level— no, would he even learn to play well enough within only a week ? The more he thought, the more he realized how unthought through this plan was. And the more he felt dissatisfied with his decision. Suddenly, something crosses his mind. He turns to his twin in a slight panic.

“Not a word of this to mom and dad, ”

“What ? Why not ? ”

“Well, because…”

Because what ?

He was unable to come up with an answer. He didn't want his parents to know, but he couldn't think of a just cause on the spot.

They wouldn't like it if he were to endanger his health again.

Maybe his dad would be supporting him, but his mom truly wouldn't. After all the worry he caused her when he was little — it's all fuzzy, but the feeling is still very clear — she wouldn't approve. She may even stop him from going to school on those days were he to attempt opposition. It would have played in his favor, but the oath he made earlier today was keeping him from staying home. Urgh…

In a frustrating scream, Amane admits,

“Because I don't want them to know, okay ?”

“To know what ?”

He turns around, and the graceful figure of his mother appears in front of the door, curiously wanting to hear what they were talking about.

Tsukasa smiles before running up and screaming, "Mama !" Like the neighborhood elementary school kids often do. She hugs him and recoils a bit backwards, the weight of Tsukasa starting to be much for her.

“Hi, mom…”

“Good evening, you two. What were you talking about, so interesting that you had to yell, at that ?”

His mother didn't have the habit of reprimanding them directly. Instead, she hides remarks in her speech, in a way that is soft, gentle and patient, yet condensing, passive and aggressive.

Making noise was one of the things she never had any tolerance for. So screaming in the small street while they were not in their yard yet was off limits and very badly viewed.

“I'm sorry. I can't tell you. It's a… a twin … a twin secret…?”

She blinks twice before elegantly putting a hand on her mouth to hide her astonishment. She also had the habit of hiding her smile behind her small fingers. Like a true lady of a fallen aristocracy.

“Oh my, is this perhaps about a crush ?”

Tsukasa's googly eyes staring at him while he is still hugging their mom put an unprecedented pressure on him. He suddenly remembered that pretty older girl he met when he was eight, and he shook his head. That was so long ago, how could he remember her so suddenly ?

“No, not at all ! Just…y'know…boy stuff,” he felt his cheeks flaring up.

“You wouldn't mind telling your old dad then, would you ?”

They all look to the direction of the voice. A peaceful smile drew itself on the face of the mother.

“Hey dad.”

Amane greets his dad. The latter just came back from work, albeit earlier than on normal days.

He pats Amane's head and looks at Tsukasa.

“No hug for me?”

Tsukasa stared at him as if his dad was the most intriguing creature he's ever encountered.

“Delicate acts are reserved for Mother only. You can at best get a high five from me,” he says in a tone imitating some stuck up chef from a foreign land.

Everyone gave each other confused looks and burst out laughing after five seconds of silence as they finally went in for dinner.

“Oh yeah, guess what ? Amane's participating in the school festival ! ”

There was a loud thud followed by silence. The topic that was brought on the table was a simple "How was your day ? How's it going at school?" And after talking about himself, one thing led to another and Tsukasa ended up blabbering that phrase. Amane felt angry and bruised by this. How could he ? Why did he talk about that ? He promised he wouldn't! After a mumbled apology, he sprang upstairs and went straight to the room he and his brother shared since forever. His side was messy and full of toys, while Amane's side was organized and full of books. He jumped on his bed and hid himself under the covers.

Tsukasa was always that way. He always went into his own pace, he never followed any rules, and was never punished for it. Their stupid promise was simple, effective proof of how incomprehensible he was.

He behaved like a four year old, and somehow that wasn't looked on as odd. People around him adapted his childish attitude as a quirk, as something that defined him precisely. And the older twin had to pay the price for it. He wasn't allowed to be as reckless as him. As boyish as he was. He was always expected to be bashful, to pick up the mess that Tsukasa left behind. He was expected to be more mature than him.

He hated that.

He hated Tsukasa so much.

Not as a person, but as a sibling.

Maybe it would have been easier if he was indeed his older brother. He wouldn't have to turmoil this resentment inside him. He wouldn't have to compare himself to him. He wouldn't have to take on a responsible face, even though deep inside, he wanted to be a kid just a little bit longer.

The door squeaked, and heavy gentle steps made their way to the kid's bed.

“Hey bud… you're not coming down ? Tsukasa says that show you like is starting soon. ”

Amane frowned. That was his brother's favorite, not his. 'Astro Boy', while aimed at the younger kids, was Tsukasa's favorite comic since elementary and it recently started as a cartoon. The only reason he watched it was because he wouldn't be allowed to watch his documentaries airing at the same time. "Be nice to your brother now, you can watch your program another day," was what his mother would always say. It frustrated him to no end. Why was he the only one who couldn't have what he wanted ? Why must he always be the one to make sacrifices ?

“Why did you leave the table like that ? Your mother is going to be very displeased.”

“Tsukasa leaves abruptly all the time. What difference does it make if I am the one that does it ?”

“Well, Tsukasa's different…”

Something snapped inside of him. The barrier holding back all of his thoughts and feelings. They suddenly poured like a river.

He held his sheets tightly and raised his voice at his father, something he had never even thought himself capable of doing before.

“Well, I'm different too ! Why must I always cater to Tsukasa ? Why must I always comply with him ? I find myself unable to do my own thing ! If I want to do something, I am always scared of him taking that thing away from me ! He never allows me to have what I want. Oh, you want to watch a program on television? Well, too bad, because Tsukasa has to do it, too ! Oh, you want to be part of a club ? Well, no luck, because Tsukasa took the last place available! Oh, you want to make friends ? Well, okay, try and fail, because everyone likes Tsukasa way more ! You wouldn't dare to make him sad, would you ? You wouldn't dare to offend him, would you ? You wouldn't dare to outcast him, would you ? After all, you're the older brother ! You have to endure ! You have to give him everything he needs, even if it comes at the costs of your own needs. If he is messy, I have to be organized. If he is social, I have to be a recluse. If he is the light, I have to be the shadow. ”

It was dark in the room, and the only light was coming from the door, albeit faint. Panting, out of breath, Amane could only see the pained expression on his father's face as a reminder to calm down. He suddenly feels ashamed and unable to swallow whatever was in his throat. He shyly apologizes and is ready to hide himself in his sheet again before the adult stops him.

“Nobody ever imposed that on you, Amane.”

He softly held his son's small hands in his.

“We let Tsukasa act like this because there are so many problems out in this world, and with time, we know that he will live his childishness behind to grow. He deserves to enjoy the little time he has in childhood. You, on the other hand, have more awareness of things. You remember the feeling of weariness that your mother bore for you when you were sick — that is why you convinced yourself to act that way. You told yourself unconsciously that you had to lift the burden off of us by not being your brother. For that, I am sorry, because that means that somewhere, I didn't realize that it affected you so deeply. But I don't want you to be like your brother. That wouldn't be too nice, if aside from sharing your looks you shared the same voice or the same personality. We might as well call you two clones, ” he chuckles, and Amane's heart lightens just ever so little, “You limit yourself because you compare yourself to him. But you are your own person. There are things that you can do that he cannot, and there are things he cannot do that you can. And you know what ? That is okay. It is what makes us different. For example, your mother cooks wonderfully, but I cannot for the life of me even boil water. But I don't let that stop me from doing something else that I am way better at, and I don't hold a grudge against her for being better than me. Because that is how it is. If everyone could do everything at the same level, there would be no need for middle school, high school and university — no, no need for the second grade because everyone would be done in first grade. Do you understand what I am trying to say ? Don't restrain yourself for the sake of your brother. If you feel like letting go and be a little more childish from time to time, go for it. There is no need to hide the other star when the sky is big enough for the two of them.”

A tear or two fell down the boy's face, moved by his father's words. Tsukasa was right. He was afraid. He was scared. He never participated because he was afraid of failing. He never voiced his thoughts because he was afraid of reprimanding. He never faced Tsukasa because he was afraid of losing his only friend and being left alone. Tsukasa never promised he wouldn't bring up the festival. Actually, he didn't say anything at all. Just asked his reasons, reasons he failed to even formulate or think of. Their stupid promise wasn't because Tsukasa was unpredictable, but because he was afraid to say no. He blamed everything on him, but he hadn't done anything wrong. He was the cowardly one, afraid of any hardship. Who placed these fears in him ? No one other than himself.

He was the older one for a reason. Even if it were by mere minutes, he should watch over him. He should take care of Tsukasa. Just as his father had said, there were so many things in this world his child mind was not ready for. And even though he hadn't said it directly, Amane felt that his father was talking about him as well.

The world was so vivid.
So big.
So frightening.
If he were to wander in it alone, even as an adult, he would crumble.
But with him...maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it would be bearable. Maybe he would even have fun along the way.

Then it's decided.

If there was only a little time before all innocence was lost, he wanted to share that time together.

Chapter Text

"You're quite sloppy today, Yugi !"

Hands on his knees, Amane stood there, breathing in and out frenetically. The sun shone bright and proud over the green yard, yet was just gentle enough to not burn his skin. The smell of fresh grass and sweat mixed into the air, and the breeze of the trees just hinted that it was starting to be the end of summer. Longing for more, yet too tired to continue, Amane flopped on the ground, trying to catch his breath for what felt like an eternity. 

It wasn't just his heart that was frenetic, it was the entire week in itself.

Quickly, he found that his brother was not a central player in the football team — that was because he was a great player, but he sometimes scored against his own team because he couldn't be bothered to recognize his teammates. (His ability to still be sought after even with this type of behavior is remarkable). Tsukasa was merely a last resort effort in case the team happened to be losing. It meant that Amane didn't have to train long with the rest of the team. That was good, because that wasn't the only thing he found out that week.

Amane also found that his breath was short — very short. He had endurance but absolutely zero stamina. The thirty minutes training turned into an hour and thirty, with how much pauses he takes to rest. Despite this frequent exhaustion, he was enjoying every aspect of football. The grass, the sweat, the sunny sky.

The real work was put into the basketball team.

Smaller than a football field, all the action happened at zooming speed. A lot of zig zagging, and a lot of bumping (that was his fault, because he doesn't have spatial awareness, but what good is that when you don't even know which side the ball is on?).

The concrete was scorching hot, and there was no telling what would happen to your foot if you misstepped and landed badly after a jump. And unlike the field where the goals were put for everyone to reach, the basketball hoops were advantageous only for the tall students (what was Tsukasa thinking when he joined this team ? He stands out so much because he's so small already!). 

" A break again ? You must be so exhausted. Managing so much is no joke. "

The members of each team weren't so bad, from what he could tell. They noticed that something was wrong with the way Tsukasa (Amane) had been acting, but didn't look to dig any further or gave up understanding when they remembered who they were (supposedly) talking to and about : being odd was totally in nature and in character of Tsukasa. They were enthusiastic, friendly and energetic people. No wonder Tsukasa found favor with all of them.

" You normally have so much energy, even after a match. Yet training's got you totally beat."

And while trying to impersonate his brother, he was met with some puzzlement. He had to think about the way Tsukasa talks, which totally clashed with his. Tsukasa's was childish and very casual, while his was calm and very formal. It tickled his throat to speak two tones higher than usual. Then, he noticed that Tsukasa always smiled while talking, even answering to a simple yes or no. Amane also had to start replying in ways that he totally couldn't bring himself to do on his own. And he realized that all after the first comments regarding his replacement at the beginning of the week. He wouldn't have noticed this otherwise. He didn't know, but they weren't exactly copies of each other.

" How can I have energy when I'm participating in everything ?"

" It was just a joke,you know ! Nobody expected you to take it seriously!"

Another new information was that Tsukasa took everything literally. And that was how he even got the idea for this day in the first place — someone joked about his proactiveness saying that he could probably participate in every activity flawlessly without getting tired, and he took it as a challenge, while laughing and affirming that he " could totally do it, and I'll prove it too!"

" I like Yugi this way. Not that it's a bad thing to be energetic as he is, but he's got this cool aura around him since the beginning of the week. It's been much easier to work or talk with him as well."

" Yeah ! Totally agreed. Like he was a different person altogether. "

This bit of conversation he heard throttled in his head as he prepared for the big day. Two boys by the locker room, talking about this "miraculous change" that their teammate has been having. The thing is, he wasn't even sure which team that was — a week is merely not enough time to be able to recognize the voice of someone you don't frequent often. He looks outside the window of the bathroom. The sun was only starting to rise, which showed this beautiful pink light even the most prosperous of painters could never picture quite right. The old wooden floor squeaks under his footsteps, but not loudly enough to wake anyone (maybe his mother, but that was granted she was already awake). As soon as he opens the door, a light breeze makes its way into the house. It wasn't warm, but it wasn't cold. It was cool.

A cool aura, huh ?

Not walking the usual road with his brother by his side felt…relieving. He didn't want to say this, but he was a fan of this quiet. He could hear himself think, and hear all the noises he couldn't with Tsukasa next to him. The sounds of the birds chirping. Those of automobile engines turning. The wheels of a rickshaw. The sound of his own steps. The leaves brushing against each other. All of this brought a peace that felt natural to him. He was appreciating The sounds of life. He should... definitely do this more often. Escape like this in the pursuit of peace more often. Was he wrong for wanting this ?

No, no, he should focus. Today was all about focus, not retrospection. It was the last day of the festival, which span on for two days only. He didn't want his parents to know just exactly what he had been doing all this time (he told them he was helping out the student council, which was true, anyway,) and he assumed Tsukasa didn't babble about him any further. That was the first reason he left early.

The second reason, though, was not as secretive, but more personal and embarrassing. 

He found out that he had stage fright.

Could he call it 'stage' fright while he performed on field and court ? No matter.

The thing is, once he notices a crowd looking at him — looking his way, rather — he is suddenly prone to unexplainable anxiety. He was wondering, mainly, if they noticed if he was replacing someone, or if they noticed how badly he played. It seemed that this 'stage fright' was only tied to his current situation, but still… he couldn't stop looking at everywhere but the ball when he noticed his classmates curiously commenting on a training match. Somewhere inside him, he truly didn't want  to get found out, but he was hoping that someone, just someone, would notice the difference and point out that it was that kid no one took the time to talk to in class that became an ace in under a week. A fantasy, one he really wished for to be true.

Luckily, he didn't have to play for long on yesterday's match. And obviously, they lost the game, for it was too late to get back the lost score.

Then a thought hit him.

He was giving it his whole.

Every sweat and tear into this.

He was even going as far as playing a role; changing himself entirely.

Yet nothing — the time, the recognition, the victory or even the effort — nothing of it all will be linked or attributed to him.

He knows they call out to him as "Yugi".

But he also knows that they mean Yugi Tsukasa, and not Yugi Amane.

Even him, even his being, is being thought of as his brother's.

Tsukasa becoming a bearable teammate was just Amane being himself. Yet it wasn't him . It was Tsukasa that was undergoing miraculous change.

What was the point, then ?

What was the point of all this if it wasn't recognized as his effort, his time, his victory… if he wasn't recognized as Yugi Amane, but Yugi Tsukasa? Then, He wasn't just his shadow. Amane was literally becoming Tsukasa.

"You're so predictable. I knew you were going to chicken out."

He spins around to the voice he heard behind him, but sees no one. It was only his imagination… No, it was only his conscience. His conscience taking the form of his brother.

As the claps multiplied and the cheers became louder, everyone on stage bowed in unison. Flashes of light from the most fortunate families came from every direction, not stopping even as the curtain was closing.

As every member of the stage play congratulated each other and consoled themselves, one of the stars bolts out from the backstage and jumps from the wooden platform, attracting every bit of attention on him.

" Tsukasa-kun ! Don't jump like that, it's dangerous. "

" Oh, honey, can't you start by congratulating him first ? I didn't know you could sing, Tsukasa ! You did well, my boy. I'm proud of you. "

Tsukasa doesn't pay any mind to his mother's or his father's words, but instead grabs his mother's hands and leads her to the door of the auditorium. He turns around to his confused father.

" C'mon ! I'll leave you behind if you don't hurry up. We have to go. "

" I would gladly follow you, but, hum, Tsukasa, where exactly are you leading us to ?"

Tsukasa turns and continues to lead the way, avoiding to answer the question. His mother, having a hard time following him because of her attire, makes an effort to follow his pace despite this. She doesn't miss getting angry at all the while.

" You're too slow, Mama !"

" It's not exactly easy to run like this, Tsukasa-kun, " She forcefully stops in her tracks. " Just tell us where you are going. Is it that urgent ?"

" If we don't make it there in time, I'd never forgive you." Tsukasa croses his arms in a defying stance in front of his mother.

" Tsukasa ! That's such a harsh thing to say, especially to your mother." His father catches up to them and points out.

" But it's true. This is extremely important for me."

His parents give eachother a worried look, and sigh at the same time. It was a sign of resignation. Tsukasa turns around again in no time, " Good. Now, let's go ! " and starts running. Soon, they were outside, which was unexpectedly full of people from all sides. Tsukasa doesn't hesitate and throws himself into a see of endless smells and heights, and finally reaches the front row. The people around him frown because of his unprompt arrival and forcefullness, but he doesn't notice their stares. His whole focus is on one point, the center of the basketball court. There he sees a defeated figure, slowly throttling behind while the game goes on and the teammates call out to him in vain. His head looking at the wooden floor, his swear mixing in his eyes and making it appear as tears. He pants heavily and frowns all the while, as if he was truly about to cry.

Tsukasa knew that the player was doubting himself. He knew it, because he knew that person better than he knew himself. He knew that he was speedily drowning in self doubt and guilt. He was surely wondering if he deserved the opportunity. 

No, not now.

Tsukasa wasn't about to let him ruin all his work.

" Amane !"

Just as he felt himself spiraling down to an abyss of thoughts, a voice he recognized better than his own shouted his name. Two other voices joined for a second time. He shifted his face to his right, where the crowd stood, and could see right in the middle of all those shadows, as if illuminated by an ethereal light, the three figures he so constantly saw since his birth.

They're here….They're here !

They're really here…. They really came…

For me..?

He's here .

His mother, ever so graceful as always, worriedly cheering him on. His father, with his imposing stature, happy yet tensed — with the newly bought camera he worked so much to save for, in his hands.

And his brother, the clearest voice of the whole courtyard, not even hesitant to show his face and expose their escapade to the world. All three of them shouted, "You can do it, Amane !" with all their might, to the heights their voices allowed them to reach. And they all looked like they really meant it.

Amane started trotting, and accelerating the pace, and advancing forward. Another voice, one he recognized even with his eyes closed, reached his ears. He looked back and analyzed the area. He spotted a person using rolled paper as a megaphone. " You can do it, Yugi-kun !"

He wasn't used to seeing him, but he could for sure tell it was his senpai. This was the last push he needed to get back in the game, this time with more confidence than ever before. 

He crossed the court like it was as natural as a flowing river. Due to his speed, he positioned himself in strategic places, and could be relied on to make sure to always have a hoop. Surprisingly, he unexpectedly was good at three-point shoots, incredible feat considering his height.

The game ended on an unpredictable victory for Amane's team. He was surrounded by his teammates, amazed by his prowess. Tsukasa ran towards him, jumping in his brother's just opened arms.

" You did it, Amane, you did it !"

" I did it…" Amane chuckles.

" Huh ? Amane ? Isn't your name Tsukasa ? "

Amane twitches and brings back Tsukasa towards the crowd before the inevitable questions fall onto them.

There he sees his mother, visibly troubled as she doesn't know what to feel between pride and worriedness. His father, stars in his eyes and a wide smile.

" That was awesome ! Who knew you had a knack for sports ? You must've gotten it from me. You should have seen yourself on court, you were like a shooting star ! Here, here, I took so much pictures!"

" Is this what you were hiding from me every morning?"

" What ? You…you knew ? But I made sure to not make a single noise…"

Amane's mother frowns. " It's dangerous. You know I forbade sports, and yet you…you played them behind my back for who knows how long…"

Amane shook his hands and his head, refusing the accusation his mother just made, " No, no, it was just for the festival, really…but if you want… if you want, I…"

His words became stuck in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to say it. Say, "I'll stop if you want me to." Because that wasn't what he wished. It wasn't his wish.

He wanted to keep playing and discover his abilities. He wanted to continue feeling the shine of the sun on his body, the wind gushing in his ears when he ran, the feeling of having his feet meet the floor for no longer than half a second, the camaraderie shared just by passing a ball. He wanted to keep having all of those for himself.

Bur it wasn't right. Not when he had deceived his mother, not when he's never properly even showed interest in an activity like this before. Not when all of this week could be credited to another person. Not when his feelings only emerged because he accepted to be a stand in. Not when they were made from nothing tangible. Not when he wasn't even sure if he would continue and not tire, if it was safe and not dire.

Not when none of it happened because he wanted to.

"... No, no, it's okay. You…were not harmed. You had fun, didn't you ? I…I will consider it. Let's talk it all out at home. "

Amane looks at Tsukasa before looking at his father, then his mother. When the latter says that "she'll reconsider", it basically already meant that she accepted whatever deal was at hand. An indecipherable joy sprang up in him. Tsukasa slides next to him and taps him on the shoulder.

" Amane, truth is, I don't like basketball all that much. You should keep playing. But not as me, but as yourself. You're great, you know. I never won a game, espacially the way you did today. "

Suddenly, Amane realized that Tsukasa never even once brought up the clubs he participated in. He never once came home as tired as him either. It didn't take him long to put two and two together, and loud whisper his discovery. 

" You only did the play, didn't you ?"

Tsukasa chuckled at his brother's shock. 

" I can't believe you fell for that. No matter how much you try to, it does seem possible to do everything at once, don't you think ?"

Amane was taken aback. It just seemed natural to him that Tsukasa was able to pull off such a strange move. Yet, in every possible and logical sense, it was, indeed, seemingly impossible. 

" What about your teammates ? "

" Hm ? Oh, them ? I filled them in of course! Everyone there knew it wasn't me !"

Amane just couldn't bring himself to believe anything his brother was telling him. But he had every proof there was for this to be true.

" What… what about the student council? "

" Told them to sign you up instead of me before I even shared the idea to you. I wasn't a member of the clubs for a long while and they had a quota of players to meet in order to participate in the festival, so I offered  your help !"

So that was why his senpai knew his last name. Tsukasa met him just before he could.

"... why…why would you do this ?"

All that internal turmoil he had about himself…turned out be another one of his brother's pranks ?

" If I told you before hand, you would never have tried. You would have resigned and found an excuse to do nothing. "

"... You are right… " Amane admits, blushing of embarassement.

" Of course I'm right ! I know you better than you do, after all. "

As he turns away to head to the dorms in order to change his sweaty uniform, and as his family heads back inside in order to wait for him (and return the costume Tsukasa forgot to take off), Amane holds Tsukasa's wrist to stop him from going.

He realized the goal of this whole week.

It was a plan finely orchestrated by his brother so that he could discover something new and get out of the 'usual' slump he was in. The one were only the sounds of cogs clinging together, gears and bolts often falling out of place, and his own grunting pace made up most of his days. The 'usual' where the 'occasional' moments he sometimes had were when his brother kept him company with his harmonious melody.

All he could feel was stupid, and weirdly emotive.

And all he could say to show his remorse was, "I am sorry." Because that was all the warmness inside him would allow him to do.

He loved him.

He realized that Tsukasa loved him. 

And that this was his way of saying that to him. This was his way to show him that he never meant to overshadow him, and that his parents loved them and supported them equally so.

His brother just proved that there was enough space in the sky for the two of them to shine, after all. He perfectly understood the saying 'actions speak louder than words' as if he wrote it at the beginning of time.

" Don't. You have nothing to be sorry for. "

That voice has never been as gentle as it was now. He meant every word, every sentence, every action, even if his methods are less than conventional. Then, instead of remorse, he should be feeling gratitude. 

Gratefulness for having been awakened from his deep slumber.

" …Thank you. "

From ear to ear, Tsukasa grins and laughs. "I told you it would all work out !" 

Amane smiles as well.

"I'm glad that it did."