Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

BOOM!

The camp shook. A chorus of groans sounded as sensitive antennae were assaulted. 

“I did it, GIR! They’ll never see it coming!” The robot squealed in delight. Matching his master’s excitement. They weren’t in sight, but that hardly mattered with how loud they were yelling.

Taz cringed. Zim was trying to “improve” the grenades again. He still can’t fathom whose idea it was to put that lunatic in charge. Who cares if he’s an Elite! 

He wasn’t even tall…

The soldier grumbled to himself. It was night on the desert planet. A time when the healthy repaired and strategized while the injured slept. Their leader had taken up his usual position on the very outskirts of the camp. 

Not to keep watch. Not because he was working on a dangerous project. No. He had been kicked to the very edge of their settlement all because his…SIR?... Pet? Couldn’t quiet down to save its life. 

He’d never met anyone like Zim. And it’s a safe bet that he never will again. First, he strolls on in with the prestigious title of Elite with invader experience. Then he introduces what he could only guess was his pet robot named “GIR”. Claiming him to be some highly specialized and experimental SIR. The crew was elated that such a high-profile irken had been granted to their admittedly shorter unit.

Those hopes were then dashed in barely a day when he proceeded to be the single most deranged irken they’d ever seen. Accompanied by the most defective SIR anyone had ever laid eyes on. Many engineers and technicians would study the robot under Zim’s supervision.

Not one could figure out how it even turned on. 

“So, how many grenades do we have left? I know you were just taking stock.” Taz asked casually. Mak, their medic was sitting across from him. Both were assigned to guard the camp that day. It irritated Taz that a skilled engineer and taller medic had been reduced to guard duty. Especially when Zim had plenty of smaller soldiers at his disposal.

“He left about a dozen. Not great, but we can handle an ambush if we need to.” The engineer sighed. It was going to be a rough night if they got any visitors.

“I’m telling you, there’s something wrong with him.” Taz announced.

“You know all those Elite types are a little weird.” Mak defended. He was probably the only one who didn’t immediately loathe the irken.

“I think Zim’s a little beyond that.” He retorted.

“Honestly, I’ve met a couple of Elites a little like him. Once they’ve been on enough missions it messes with them.” The medic continued. His gaze took on a glazed quality as he reminisced. He’d mentioned something about once working for an elite unit. 

“Are you sure about that? Isn’t he kinda young?”

“Yeah. But it’s not unheard of.”

“Well, do you think he…” Taz began but quickly decided against it.

“What?” 

“Nevermind. No point speculating.” Mak gave him an odd look but allowed it to drop. Taz had a feeling the medic knew what he was asking.

It made his head hurt to think about it. But could Zim be… defective ? It was hardly an accusation to be taken lightly. He glanced at Mak. He’d worked on him plenty of times. If anyone knew, it was him. That is if he would even tell him. And if he did, wouldn’t Zim have already been removed? Did Mak find out, and actively choose not to report it?

He was thinking too hard.

It certainly made sense…oh well. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he wasn’t a bad soldier. It’s not like he completely sucked at strategizing or couldn’t handle himself in a battle.

In the distance, the robot squealed. Something about being given food. A sign that the robot would be extra energetic for the foreseeable future.

Taz sighed. “Looks like it’s going to be one of those nights.” He mourned. Mak gave him a look of sympathy.

“Better than when it went quiet. That was freaky. ” He declared. Despite Taz’s grievances, he found he couldn’t disagree. That whole fiasco was something neither would soon forget.

First there was the utter instability that overtook Zim when the robot had been captured. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen an irken more furious. But more pressingly it was like the irken had completely lost it. Snapped without the little guy to ground him. 

Those were one of the very few times that he had frightened him. He shouldn’t have been able to intimidate him. Taz was taller. So any fear towards Zim is inexcusable.

He remembers how Mak tried to stop him. The idiot was about to impulsively go on a solo rescue mission into enemy territory with zero planning or preparation. Mak threatened to restrain him if he tried to leave base camp. Now, Mak may be a medic but he’s the tallest out of all of them. He’s a damn good fighter, and got very close to becoming an Elite. He’s very intelligent. Very strategic.

Zim wiped the floor with him in a display that stilled the entire camp. He ran off soon after. Content to leave the medic out cold under the desert sun. 

Mak woke up pissed , and was determined to follow their insane captain. The medic stopped for just long enough to drag Taz along for the ride.

In the end, they did manage to retrieve the SIR. And thank the Tallest for that. He didn’t think Mak would survive another encounter with Zim if they hadn’t.

The little guy had been nearly broken beyond repair. The three of them did what they could for it in the medical tent. Getting it up and running with the few spare parts they had. Nobody else would touch it after Zim’s display of violence.

It was unnerving to see it suddenly silent. The robot reminded him too much of a smeet. And it forever etched the image of it sitting placidly on Zim’s back with a thousand-yard stare into his pak.

Thankfully, none of the others had reported them for leaving on an unapproved mission to rescue what was essentially a tool. Perhaps they just didn’t want to incur Zim’s wrath.

“I wonder what he’s going to do when this is all over.” Taz spoke. “If you’re right about him being in too many missions, shouldn’t he be retired?”

“Beats me. Maybe he’s even younger than he looks. Why retire a soldier when he’s practically in his prime?

“Is that what you call it?” Mak chuckled.

“Well, he knocked me out. He’s clearly got some skill. Besides, he doesn’t seem like the type to want to retire anyway.” 

“Do you remember when he blew up that base?“ Taz reminisced. Mak grinned.

“How could I forget? I’d hate to be their medic after that.“ 

“If their medic was even alive-Mak watch out!” Taz suddenly cut himself off. Mak threw himself to the ground just as an antimatter beam grazed his head. He recovered quickly, and regained his footing with his laser gun in hand. 

The empty terrain was now overrun with an enemy assault. Dozens of soldiers suddenly appeared out of thin air. Taz readied his missile launcher.

“They can teleport now!?” Mak yelled incredulously. This was far beyond the technological prowess this planet had shown thus far. It had to be an illusion of some kind. 

Their fellow irken soldiers spilled out of the main base tent; ready for combat. Taz cringed, and he knew Mak was thinking the same. They were very outnumbered, and had been awaiting a desperately needed supply shipment. He didn’t know if they even had enough ammunition to take them.

Then suddenly, before the enemy could get too close to the camp, a grenade flew over their heads. Barely anyone had noticed it in the chaos as it landed in the middle of the crowd. Two pak legs then grabbed the two by the shoulders, and violently wrenched them back. Not a moment later It went off with an antennae-splitting pop that shook the very air around them.

Zim laughed triumphantly as the bulk of their attackers were tossed into the air. They landed in a cacophony of pained yelps and cracking armor. Many didn’t stand back up. Those outside of the immediate blast appeared dazed. Weapons fell out of their grasp as they appeared to no longer know where they were. 

It took a minute before Taz realized Just what Zim had done.

“Hey; he kinda did improve them.” Mak said mildly, and Zim’s grin widened. From what the two could tell, He’d managed to turn the blast into some kind of potent deliriant. 

How on Irk he managed this with a couple of hand grenades and spare machine parts they’ll never know. No chemicals they currently had with them could produce that effect.

“Take them as prisoners.” Zim commanded, and irkens ran out into the field. They began the process of restraining the conscious, and dragging away the others. They seemed completely unaware they were even being captured.

“Mak.” Zim called. Mak pulled his gaze from the field. 

“Yes sir?”

“Go with them and monitor their vitals. I didn’t get to fully test these new grenades. And they can’t die until we get what they know.”

“Right away, sir.” He hurried off to the medical tent. Taz took a minute just to watch. He’d never get over the novelty of seeing a taller being so obedient to a smaller like that. Elite or not. 

He turned his attention to Zim, and waited for a command. But the irken seemed too busy celebrating his success with his SIR to issue any. So he decided to make himself useful, and helped wrangle their drugged enemies.

Chapter Text

It seemed that the screwheads had finally shown themselves. They had recently rebelled against irken enslavement and joined forces with the equally rebellious hobos to challenge the empire’s just dominance over their inferior peoples. 

This time both parties had unexpectedly decided to fight together. Causing an absolute disaster of a battle that left most of Zim’s soldiers out of commission for the time being. It took every spare hand to get everybody back to base camp. Zim distantly acknowledged Mak running himself ragged under the scorching sun of Hobo 13. 

Zim ignored him. He couldn’t focus on his irkens right now even if he wanted to.

Gone. 

GIR was gone.

GIR had been taken. 

Zim had just barely seen the screwhead soldier that was responsible for the capture. He only had a fraction of a second to see the image of GIR struggling against the grip of that disgusting screwhead before they both vanished into thin air.

Something very deep inside of Zim’s pak data threatened to snap.

A few dozen feet away, Taz took a moment to glance at the captain from his vigil over the wounded. As one of the few irkens still upright, he had taken to helping Mak. 

“Hey, Mak.” Taz quietly called. The frazzled medic looked up from his medical equipment.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” He demanded. Taz moved his hands in a placating motion.

“Everything’s fine. Nothing’s wrong.” He quickly clarified. “It’s not that, it’s Zim.” He jerked his head to the irken in question. Mak followed his gaze.

“Is he…okay?” Mak finished with the soldier and moved on. Taz followed. 

“Hand me that green tool in the outside pocket of my kit… Yeah. The third one in.” Taz complied.

“I did a basic scan of him right after the battle. I didn’t find anything major. Just the usual scrapes and bruises.” Mak explained while looking at Zim. His tone is slightly grim. “They nabbed his SIR…”

“ Are you serious? ” Taz hissed. Stealing the personal equipment of the captain was a direct insult.

“Yeah. He’s not taking it well. He’s just been staring into space since we got back to camp. I don’t think he’s spoken either. We’re going to have to keep a close eye on him.” 

“Is it because it’s that experimental model or something?” 

“I don’t think you understand...” Mak stated. Though not unkindly. ”...I’ve seen it in other Elites before. Especially those who do nothing but solo missions.” He finished as he thought back to former assignments. 

Seconds passed in silence. “You mean they get…attached?” Taz finally whispered as if saying something he shouldn’t.

“Honestly, I’m willing to bet that that robot is keeping him sane. It’s pretty clear it’s not here for utility.” Frankly, Mak had figured it out the moment the robot had first spoken. The thing had no utility. No use or any real functionality. Not to mention that Zim had treated it far closer to a companion than an actual tool.

“The Tallest allow that?” Mak wished . Many Elite soldiers would be far more mentally stable if they did. Successful, too. He didn’t respond. Letting Taz find the answer on his own.

“…I see.” He stated plainly. Mak wondered if it was a mistake telling Taz. He was a model irken with unshakable loyalty to the tallest. He wouldn’t tell…would he?  

“Do you think he’d be able to…” Taz fumbled with his words. “…get attached to another SIR?”

“No.” Mak responded immediately. A few other communal SIR units flitted around the camp. Zim had treated them with complete disinterest. He saw this…GIR as something different. Something closer to another soldier or comrade than a tool. He’d mentioned having the thing for several years. There’s no way he’d be able to just take another one. 

“I think I’m going to talk to him.” Taz decided. Mak glanced at him, unimpressed.

“You’re only going to upset him more.”

“Maybe...” Taz agreed. ”...but what choice do we have? We’re in the middle of a war! We can’t have our captain hung up on this!” Mak knew that he was right. But he just couldn’t see it going well.

“I can’t talk you out of this?” He tried one last time.

“Not a chance.” 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Taz.” Mak relented with a sigh. He watched wearily as the engineer made his way to Zim.

Taz approached him carefully. He had a feeling that Zim could tell he was there, but he made no visual indication of it. “Sir, are you alright?”

“...” An antenna twitched with no other response.

“Mak made me aware that your SIR unit had been stolen.” He tested. “I just wanted to inform you that no other equipment was taken.” Zim remained statuesque, if not even more tense at his words.

Taz felt frustration bubble in his pak. “It’s just a SIR unit. You know that as a captain you are allowed to request a new one at…any…” 

Zim turned and gave him a glare that could silence The Tallest. Taz felt his eyes widen and his antennae drop. Even as he tilted his head down to meet the captain's eyes, he felt a good foot shorter. 

“Who do you think you are to tell your captain what he can and cannot do?” He seethed. “You don’t understand the gravity of him being captured!” Zim shouted. Taz struggled to find his voice.

“Understood sir. Sorry sir.” He sputtered.

“Go and continue to help Mak.” The shorter irken ordered. Taz nodded and hurried off to find their medic.

Zim continued to stew alone in his anger and worry long after he sent Taz away. No other soldiers approached him. 

He had to find a way to get GIR back. And fast. Irk knows what they plan on doing to him. Recent reports state that the screwheads had suffered no shortage of raw materials. And their production facilities still remained operational despite Irk’s best efforts. So it was highly unlikely they had taken GIR for parts.

That meant they could only be after one thing; information. 

As far as Zim knew, they had never been able to get their hands on any other SIRs or SIR blueprints. They would not know exactly how to access a SIR's memory. However, GIR’s memory banks worked differently from the standard SIR. It had been ingrained into the personality chip and shared software with most of the surrounding components. 

Chances are any attempts at data retrieval would result in irreparable damage.

His pack raced. He couldn’t put a group together to go and retrieve him. Everyone uninjured was too busy aiding the less fortunate. He couldn’t afford to tear any of the able-bodied irkens away from camp when they were already in such a vulnerable position.

He would have to go alone. There was no other option. Zim did a quick sweep of his camp to ensure everything was in order. His soldiers watched him as he did but didn’t try to interact with him beyond the odd solute and nod of acknowledgment. 

By evening, most irkens had taken to openly staring at him. Several times he had unthinkingly tried to call for GIR or ask for his input. 

Loneliness like he’d never experienced before hit him. Knowing the impropriety of an irken daring to feel lonely made him ruthlessly shove it to the back of his mind. He shamefully continued his trek.

The distressed captain continued to prepare for his solo mission.

Mak made a point not to stray too far from Captain Zim. The medic feared he was slowly losing it. 

He was well aware that they would have to rescue the thing at some point. Thankfully, their next set of orders from higher-ups was to overtake a small intelligence-gathering base not far from their camp. One of their irkens had already scoped the place out, and it was thankfully poorly guarded. He was willing to bet that the SIR had been taken there. 

They’d be able to do this within the next few days if they were lucky. None of the injured would need more than a day’s rest and a few hours of intensive pak maintenance. They’d been fortunate. 

He noticed with some anxiety that Zim had not set up his own post as dusk set in.

Despite his worry, Mak stood in the medical tent with Taz. Most of the irkens in their unit had been placed under pak maintenance for the night. So his job was mainly to monitor their pak statuses. One irken remained outside to stand guard, and Taz stayed inside with him to assist should he need it. 

A resolute-looking Zim entered the tent with purpose.

“Mak, you are to be the acting captain for the next few rotations while I retrieve the stolen SIR unit alone.” Mak’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“What!?” Taz exclaimed.

“Captain, with all due respect, that’s suicide! You can’t do this alone!” Mak argued incredulously.

“Are you questioning my abilities?” Mak began to nudge him out of the medical tent. Zim allowed him to but glared nonetheless. 

“No! I’m not calling you incapable. I know as an invader you’re accustomed to solo missions. But it’s just too risky under these circumstances.” He placated.

“My mission as an invader was classified. You don’t know my abilities. I will be back in a few days. And I will go whether you agree to it or not.” Zim bit back insistently.

“Sir, I can tell that you…care…for this SIR unit. But we need to wait until you can be accompanied. We can’t afford to lose our captain should something go wrong.” Mak pleaded. Zim became visibly disgusted at the accusation of caring for his SIR. 

“You are out of line!” Zim growled. Taz stood in the entryway of the tent, watching the argument with cautious interest. The lone irken guarding startled at the confrontation.

After a moment of silence, Mak stood straight. Emphasizing his height as best as he could without looking like he was trying to show up his captain. He spoke with the authority of the Elite he almost was.

 “...you’re not in your right mind, sir. As the tallest of this unit, I am taking the position of acting captain until-” Zim the medic across the face with the blunt portion of his gauntlets. A blow meant to shut him up more than hurt him. 

“Mak!”

“Stay out of this, Taz!” Zim shot out an arm to keep the other soldier back. Mak glared long and hard at the captain. The guard by Taz turned to him as she silently asked for orders. He quickly pushed her into the tent.

“How dare you try to insert yourself as captain! I am well in my right mind. If there weren’t so many injured soldiers, I would send you back to Irk for review!” Zim threatened. Mak remained unmoved. 

This isn’t the first time he’s had to wrangle an Elite. And it won’t be the last time he has to stop one from doing something stupid. He gave Zim a quick once over. 

The irken was banged up from the battle. He was barely keeping his panic at bay, and practically ill with worry. But he was pissed. He would not be backing down without a fight. The last time he had to keep an Elite from doing something, he had to sedate him. But medical supplies were precious. And he didn’t have anything on him anyway. 

Mak was tired. He had overextended himself patching up nearly the entire unit. He felt like he could sleep for a week. And it looked like a fight was unavoidable.

The odds were not in his favor.

The medic and captain fiercely studied each other for several seconds. 

Mak made the first move after Zim’s initial strike. He shot forward as fast as he could and reached out to hit a pressure point on the shorter irken’s neck. Zim saw it coming and countered with a deadly strike to a strategic spot in Mak’s abdomen. He fell to the ground with a winded grunt. 

The medic quickly got to his feet. Now entering a true fighting stance, he adjusted to protect his aching stomach. He watched as Zim took note of this, and mirrored him.

“I’m giving you one last chance to back down, and follow my orders.”

“You know I can’t, captain. It’s just too dangerous.”

He saw Zim’s jaw set as some decision was made. “Suit yourself.”

Before Mak could even react to the comment, the invader was on him in an instant. He briefly felt something slam into his antenna. He didn’t even have a full second to marvel at the agony before stars danced in his vision, and the world went black.

Taz stared at Zim with unadulterated shock. Zim stepped towards him, and Taz unthinkingly flinched back. 

“...you’re in charge until I return.” He ran off in the direction of the enemy base without another word. 

Taz forced himself out of his shock.

“Liv!” He called into the medical tent. ”Help me get Mak into a free bed!”