Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Louis is walking across Manchester University campus on his way to his second class of the day on Wednesday when he sees Harry on the pitch kicking the football back and forth with a friend, and the idea comes to him in stark clarity. He can’t believe he didn’t think of this sooner; it’s perfect.

From the ages of eight to sixteen, Harry and Louis were inseparable. They met when Harry moved in a few houses down from Louis’ family home, and they became fast friends. They both played football, and they both liked music and liked to sing. The two of them would often go down to Mick’s Mixes, the record store in town, and spend a whole Saturday together, scanning through the records there and sharing all their finds.

When Louis turned thirteen and he and Harry had gotten drunk off his mum’s hidden brandy stash, he confessed to Harry that he liked boys. He was nervous, but Harry made him feel so safe. Harry blushed and looked down after Louis told him, and then, when he looked back up again, he whispered, “I think I do too.”

It would later be revealed that, unlike Louis’ sexual status of being gay, Harry was actually bisexual. Harry didn’t admit this to Louis until he was fourteen, as he was too scared Louis would ditch him. Louis laughed and pulled him into a tight hug. 

Later that night, during a sleepover, with all the lights out, Harry had said, “Hey Lou, do you wanna practice kissing?”

Louis was shocked. He’d never thought about kissing Harry before, but he figured it couldn’t hurt to try. “Okay,” he replied, rolling over in his Spiderman sleeping bag to face Harry. With only the moonlight coming in through the window, it was hard to see much of anything, but they moved towards each other tentatively, and their lips met. 

It was weird for Louis—wet and uncomfortable. Is this how kissing always is? But then Harry moved closer, cupping Louis’ face with his hands and pressing his body up against Louis’. Louis pulled back and giggled, wiping the spit from his mouth with the back of his hands. “God, Hazza, so wet.” He laughed. “That was so weird.”

“Yeah,” Harry said, rolling back onto his back. "Yeah, it was weird. Sorry for suggesting it.”

During the ages of sixteen and seventeen, Louis spent less time with Harry. By then, Louis had dropped out of football and put more focus on his schoolwork, which he was already so good at, and Harry had leant further into sports. 

Due to the nature of their ages and how good Harry was becoming at football, it was only natural that girls started to notice him. He was gorgeous too, brown curly hair and dimples. So, it wasn’t a surprise when Harry started dating Becky. She was one of the most popular girls in school, tall and beautiful with long, dark brown hair. She always wore it out and straight with a crisp white, thick headband in her hair. 

Soon, Harry was spending all his time with Becky or playing football, and that left Louis spending all his time studying. Luckily, though, Louis made friends with Kelly, who was in all the same classes. They bonded over schoolwork and boys, and Louis easily transferred his friendship with Harry onto his friendship with Kelly. 

And after that, Harry and Louis just didn’t really speak anymore. In fact, it’s now been three years since they’ve said two words to each other. 

Harry and Becky didn’t last; they broke up before the end of the school year. But by then, Louis hadn’t spoken to Harry in so long that he didn’t know how to approach him again. 

Harry seemed to be doing fine, though, because Louis watched from a distance as Harry had a string of short term girlfriends over the years, if you could even call them that. He had girls hanging off him constantly, and word travelled around fast that Harry Styles got around. He never really heard too many stories of Harry hooking up with guys, but there were a few. It seemed, perhaps, that whilst Harry was bi, he had a stronger inclination towards women. If you were a woman and wanted an easy fuck, Harry was the man to see.

Even Kelly had expressed one day that she might see if Harry would hook up with her. Louis took the opportunity to fill Kelly in on his history with Harry and how that would make him feel weird. She agreed not to pursue it. 

Six months ago, Louis started to crush on Joey but was too nervous to do anything about it, despite the fact that Joey has clearly been flirting with Louis and Kelly has been egging him on to ask him out. He’s been pining after him the whole time, and whilst he’s not insecure about his appearance or personality, he is insecure about his experience with guys. Which results in a total sum of zero. 

With the exception of his first—and only—kiss with Harry, Louis hasn’t done anything of a sexual nature with any guy, ever. It’s not that he hasn’t wanted to; the opportunity just hasn’t really arisen. And now that it potentially has, he doesn’t want to blow his chance with Joey by accidentally giving him a toothy blowjob or somehow shitting on his dick. The fear is paralysing. 

So when Louis is walking across the uni campus and he sees Harry on the football pitch, it’s like all the stars align, and he can see a way out of his predicament. He’s going to ask Harry to fuck him. Harry’s been around enough that he knows what he’s doing, he doesn’t seem fazed by meaningless encounters, and they’ve known each other forever; he’ll have to agree. 

Louis rushes out after class and swerves around the building towards the football pitch, but Harry isn’t there anymore. So he just starts walking back towards the main building, figuring he’ll have some lunch before heading to the library to study. 

By the time he’s walking through the library doors and heading for his favourite desk, he’s already forgotten about his Harry idea. That is, until he sees Joey sitting with his friends, quietly laughing at something. He gazes at him longingly, and Joey looks over at Louis, a smile taking over his entire face. He waves Louis over. 

“Hey guys,” Louis says as he approaches Joey and his crew—two guys and one girl. They all wave back, and one of the guys fist bumps Louis. 

Louis turns his attention to Joey and can’t help the light blush that is surely taking over his face. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself,” Joey says. “You having a good day?”

“Yeah,” Louis says breathily and then pulls himself together, continuing, “Yep, just heading to do some studying.” He holds his books up as proof. “You?”

“Better now,” Joey says with a smirk and a wink. “Hey, listen, are you free two weeks from Friday? We’re having a party, and I’d love for you to come. As my date. If you’re up for it?”

Louis swallows and huffs a small, nervous laugh. “Um, yeah, should be. That sounds good. Yeah.”

“Great, I’ll text you the details.” He smiles with his stupidly handsome face, and Louis swoons. 

“Okay,” he breathes, and then starts to walk backwards. “I better go study now. Have a good day, guys.” Louis waves and then beelines for his favourite desk in the back corner by the big window. Heart rabbiting in his chest and a damp sweat breaking out over his body. 

Right, time to find Harry Styles then and get this thing arranged. 

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Finding Harry when you need him is proving to be more difficult than Louis had expected. 

After his last class at 2 p.m., he went down to the pitch again but had no luck, so he circled back to the cafe on campus. Again, no luck. He was just about to give up when he caught a glimpse of Harry and his teammates in full footie gear walking towards the pitch. He ran after them and yelled, “Hey!”

Harry and the five guys he was with all stopped and turned around. Harry looked surprised and a little nervous. He took a step forward towards Louis and then glanced back at his teammates before returning his gaze to Louis. “Hey, Lou, everything alright?”

Louis is panting from the sprint from the cafe across campus. “Yeah,” he breathes, catching his breath. “Do you have a minute to talk?”

“Yo, Styles, man, we’ll catch you later, bro,” one of the guys says, and they all fist bump each other goodbye and slap Harry on the back. One of the guys—Liam, Louis thinks—leans in close to Harry and whispers something that makes Harry shove him playfully before he leaves. Louis thinks he hears Harry say, “It’s not like that,” but he’s not sure.

Once the fist bumps and playful tackles are all done, Harry turns back towards Louis. “What’s up, Little Lou?”

“Don’t call me that,” Louis says petulantly, and Harry holds his hands up in surrender.

“Sorry, sorry. Old habits. Anyway, what can I do for you? Oh! You want to interview me for the paper, right? I’m sure I could arrange that. Need to check with Nicole; she looks after my calendar for stuff like that.”

“What? No.” Louis looks at Harry, confused. “Why would I… never mind. Actually, I have a proposition for you, if you’re up for it. I mean, you don’t have to agree. Like, I’d totally get if you want to say no, because, like, it’s not like you’re really getting anything out of this. Oh! I could um… I could help you with homework, any particular classes you’re behind in? Anyway, let me know, because I want this to be beneficial for you too, if you agree, that is—”

“Louis. Louis. Stop, take a breath, mate. What are you saying?” Harry punctuates his point by grabbing Louis’ shoulders and rubbing them. They seem to both notice, and at the same time, Harry drops his hands casually and then removes his cap, runs his fingers through his hair, and places it back on his head backwards.

Louis puts his hands on his hips and blows a big puff of air out through his mouth, blowing his cheeks out. He then breathes back in and looks Harry in the eyes. “I want you to fuck me,” he blurts out, and then, upon seeing the look of horror that settles on Harry’s face, he laughs. “Wait, let me try that again. I just… Well, to level with you completely, I haven’t done anything before, and I want to practice because there’s this guy I really like, and I don’t want to fuck it up. I thought maybe you’d be up for it because, well, you know…”

“I know?”

“Yeah, you know, you get around quite a lot. Though that’s mostly girls, so I don’t know how you feel about casual sex with men as well. But we used to be friends. I mean, we even kissed once, but I don’t expect you to remember that.”

“I remember,” Harry says softly. “I’ll always remember.”

Louis’ brow pinches as he looks over Harry’s shoulder to regain his composure, willing himself to get this out now.

“Okay, anyway, take your time to decide, but I am on a clock here. I’ve only got just over two weeks to try and perfect everything, so I’d ideally like to start sooner than later. And if you’re not down, then that’s fine; I’ll find someone el—”

“I’ll do it.”

“You will?” Louis jumps up and throws his arms around Harry’s shoulders and his legs around his waist. Harry catches him with one arm supporting him and the other still clasped on his backpack strap. “Oh my God, thank you, Harry, thank you! Let me know what subject you need help in so I can brush up if it’s not one I’m currently taking.” Louis jumps back down with a big smile on his face, eyes crinkling. “Oh, also, do you have a recent STD test you can share? If not, please could you get one?”

Harry’s also smiling, but he looks nervous. Maybe he just feels weird crossing that line with Louis. Louis’ not worried; he’s a great student and a quick learner, and he’s sure he’ll make it as less awkward as he can. “Yeah sure, turn around,” Harry says, and Louis is confused again.

“Huh?”

“I need to use your back to write my number down,” Harry replies, like it’s obvious.

Louis laughs lightly. “Oh right, sure.” He turns around and hears the crinkling of paper, and then it’s being smoothed out against his back, and he feels the tickle of the pen as Harry writes his number down.

Harry does a dramatic dot at the end that Louis is sure punctured through the paper and onto his white t-shirt and says, “There ya go, Lou. Text me later. I gotta go, football doesn’t kick itself.” He pats Louis on the shoulder again and then backs away, giving a lopsided smile as he leaves.

Louis looks down at the paper in his hands—a receipt for a twenty pack of socks—and giggles. Why wouldn’t Harry just ask for his phone and punch his number in there? Harry signed it “H—” with a messy x, and Louis rejoices that he managed to secure this so easily.

Louis spends the rest of the afternoon floating around on cloud nine and then spends the evening researching everything there is to know about how to give a blowjob. By the time he’s finished, he’s confident he’s going to shock Harry with his skills. He caps out the day with a text to Harry:

Louis: Hey, it’s Louis. Are you free tomorrow at 2?

The reply comes instantly.

Harry: hi little Lou, 👍, where do you wanna meet? 🤓

Louis: Don’t call me that.

Louis: I live not far from campus, we can come back to mine. I’ll meet you by the cafe on the edge of the left side of the building.

He contemplates putting an ‘x’ on the end of the message but decides against it. Thinking it might be too flirty. This is a business transaction, after all.

Harry: ☕🏫👍😘

Louis laughs out loud at Harry’s emoji-only response and goes to sleep with a smile on his face.

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Chapter Text

The day goes by in a blur for Louis; he’s barely paying attention to anything that’s said in his classes. He figures he’ll just catch up later online. He’s so distracted that he doesn’t even realise class is over until he notices almost everyone has left the room. He scuffles to shove his things into his bag and heads out the door.

There’s a nervous energy running through his veins; he’s excited. At nineteen, he’s finally going to lose his virginity and, more importantly, experience what sex is like. He’s got a fair idea from watching porn, but he’ll finally know what it feels like, not just what he guesses it feels like.

He looks at his phone to check the time, seeing 1:53 p.m. light up on top of his David Beckham background. What can he say? It’s a long time crush, and he has trouble parting with it. He shoves the phone back in his pocket and nervously taps his fingers on his legs.

Considering he has time, he decides to light a cigarette to calm his nerves. About halfway through the cigarette, Harry comes striding over to him wearing a tight, plain black tee with the sleeves rolled up and dark denim skinny jeans. For a split second, Louis’ belly swoops at how good he looks.

“Hey Lou,” Harry says happily. “Which way?” he asks, pointing each hand in opposite directions.

Louis inhales his cigarette and shakes his head. “This way,” he says as he starts to walk towards his flat.

Louis luckily lives alone in a studio flat that he’s able to afford by doing side tutoring along with the money he’d saved from his job in high school. It’s not much—the size of a shoebox, really—but he loves it. There’s space for his bed pressed up against two of the walls, a desk next to his bed, and a small chest of drawers with his clothes. He has a kitchenette and a small bathroom with the world's tiniest shower. He never really has anyone over other than Kelly, and they usually just sit on his bed and watch Netflix on his laptop, sharing crisps and chocolate straight from the packet.

Harry bumps into Louis’ back as he’s unlocking the door, seemingly miscalculating when the door would be pushed open. “Sorry,” he says and laughs, taking a step back.

Louis giggles in response and pushes the door open, letting Harry walk in first. “Come on in.”

Harry whistles. “Damn, Little Lou, even your flat is little.” Harry smirks at him, satisfied with his quip.

“Don’t call me that. And yeah, it’s small, but it does the job. Shall we?” Louis says with aplomb.

Without giving Harry time to fully take his shoes off and drop his bag, Louis pushes him back into the door and goes to start kissing him.

Harry puts both hands on Louis’ waist and pushes him back. “Woah, hey, give a guy a second,” he says, and Louis huffs.

After Harry is happily shoe-free, Louis leads him over to his bed and sits, patting the mattress for Harry to do the same. Harry lets out a shaky breath and sits. Louis’ not sure why Harry seems so nervous; he’s done this hundreds, if not thousands, of times. Perhaps he likes it slower, Louis thinks.

Once Harry is seated on the mattress, Louis moves towards him and asks, “Can I kiss you, Haz?” The nickname slips out, and he makes a mental note not to let that happen again. This is a formal agreement; they should act accordingly. He doesn’t want to scare Harry off, or worse, have Harry think Louis wants more. It would be just his luck for Harry to assume Louis is the clingy virgin who falls in love with the first person who kisses him.

Harry’s eyes turn a little glassy, and he leans in at the same time as taking Louis’ face in his hands. “Yes, please,” he whispers, and then moves forward, locking their lips together.

It’s surprisingly different than the first time. Softer, more gentle, less spit. Louis is pleasantly surprised. Harry presses in a bit deeper and strokes Louis’ cheekbones with his thumbs. The combined sensation causes Louis to let out a small moan that surprises even him. He pulls back and says, “Sorry.”

Harry’s eyes are still closed, and he says, “What for?” The movement of his lips when he speaks causes them to brush over Louis’.

“For the sound. Nevermind.” Louis tries to start the kissing again, liking the way it felt. Harry seemed like he was going to reply, but it gets lost under Louis’ tongue instead.

If Louis thought the kiss was good before the introduction of tongues, then he thinks it’s earth shattering when Harry pushes his tongue into his mouth. Harry’s still holding Louis’ face, and he’s getting really into the kiss, it seems, because he’s becoming more forceful with it.

Without him realising, Louis is now rutting up against Harry. His cock is fully hard, and he feels embarrassingly close to coming, so he breaks the kiss for a breather.

For some reason, Harry still has his eyes closed when Louis pulls back. He’s dropped his hands from Louis’ face but won’t open his eyes. “Harry, hey, you okay?”

“Hmm?” Harry replies and then clears his throat. He opens his eyes and meets Louis', and Louis is shocked to see how blown his pupils are. “Yeah, fine. Good. That was good. Do you want… um, do you want feedback in these scenarios, or?”

Louis thinks for a moment, feedback would probably be helpful. Find out where he’s going wrong. “Yeah, feedback’s good. So, any tips?”

Harry sits up straight, clears his throat, and puts his hands in his lap. The action draws Louis’ attention down, and he notices that Harry is also hard. He feels proud that he was able to do that with so little experience. When he looks back up, Harry is blushing, and he covers himself further. “You were good. A little messy with the tongue, but that’s a preference thing, I guess. Maybe don’t open your mouth so wide.”

Louis’ instantly embarrassed; he feels heat creep up his neck, and he’s disappointed that he didn’t nail it the first time. He did a lot of research, and he was so sure he’d be perfect. “Oh, okay, yeah. That… that makes sense.”

“Maybe it’ll be easier if we’re lying down,” Harry suggests. “Lay back and get comfy.”

Louis complies, moving up his bed so his head is on his pillow. He pulls the hard textbook out from under the other pillow and discards it on the ground, looking back at Harry as he crawls up the bed.

Harry’s left hand rests just above Louis’ right knee, and he slowly drags it up, over Louis’ thigh, to his hip, and then lets it dip under Louis’ t-shirt onto his skin. Louis flinches involuntarily at being touched. He’s just not used to someone touching his bare skin. No one ever has.

Harry’s body weight is being supported by his right elbow as his left hand continues to explore Louis’ body. He seems like he’s in a trance, staring at his own hand under Louis’ shirt. Louis is watching Harry’s face; his lips are parted, and his tongue darts out to lick them every once in a while. He turns his head to face Louis, looking into his eyes as his fingers make contact with Louis’ nipple. Louis shivers and flinches again, sucking in a sharp intake of air.

Harry dives forward and starts kissing him again while keeping up his ministrations on Louis’ nipple. He moves his hand to try the other side as he goes. Louis’ arms find Harry’s shoulders, and he’s unknowingly pulling Harry towards him, subconsciously asking for more. Harry presses the length of his body against Louis’ and retracts his hand to bring it back to Louis’ face. Harry’s breathing is heavy, and Louis could swear his hand is shaking, but maybe that’s just Louis.

The kiss starts to get aggressive again, and Harry pushes Louis’ t-shirt up enough that his whole chest is exposed. Louis whines and arches his back, seeking out Harry’s touch. 

Fuck, they haven’t even gotten to the blowjob yet, and Louis’ already losing his mind.

Suddenly, Louis feels the need to prove himself, so he pushes Harry back. Harry immediately stops kissing him and lifts his hand in the air. “Sorry, we—” He’s cut off by Louis pushing Harry onto his back as he kisses him again and then starts moving down his body, rubbing his hard cock through the material before undoing Harry’s jeans.

Harry moans loudly and shakes a little.

Louis’ got the button undone and the fly unzipped, and then Harry’s hand is seizing his. “Wait, Louis. Um… Can I have… ahh… I just. I need a minute, please.”

Louis frowns. Is he doing something wrong? “Am I doing something wrong?”

“No! No, not at all. I just… please, one minute.” Harry covers his eyes with his forearm and breathes deeply. 

Louis’ slightly concerned about this; surely it is actually Louis’ fault. They’ve barely gotten started, and Harry’s already stopping it. Still, Louis gives him a minute before he speaks again. “Are you sure I wasn’t doing anything wrong? Are you worried I’ll hurt your dick if I blow you? I assure you, I’m well researched. If you just give me a chance, I can prove it to you.”

“Lou, you’ve done nothing wrong. I just got a little too… into it,” he says, then laughs into his bicep.

“Oh… Do you not want me to blow you?”

“Can we just… Can we just kiss for now? Is that okay?”

Louis can’t hide the disappointment from his face. He was looking forward to showing Harry the blowjob skills he’s sure he has. He feels kind of rejected now, like Harry doesn’t really want him. He slides back up the bed to settle next to Harry, trying to think of a backup plan if Harry decides he doesn’t want to do this anymore.

Harry wraps his arm around Louis as he settles back on Harry’s chest and moves forward to kiss him. Realisation hits Louis all of a sudden, and he breaks the kiss. “Wait, did you… did you come? Already?”

Harry turns red and closes his eyes, nodding. “Yeah, sorry. It’s been a while, and I haven’t wanked in like three days. And then you were touching me, looking all gorgeous…” He trails off and then opens his eyes to finish. “Promise it’ll be better next time. Sorry about this. Maybe I should just go, actually. Same time tomorrow work for you?”

Louis shakes his head. “No, can’t tomorrow, day after?”

“Sure,” Harry says and places a quick peck on Louis’ lips before jumping up and slipping into his shoes, foregoing the socks. He’s got his bag on his shoulder and the door open before Louis even has a chance to think. “See ya ‘round, Little Lou.”

“Don’t call me that!” He yells as he chucks a pillow at the closing door. Harry’s laugh being the last thing he hears before it clicks shut.

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“I’m telling you, Kelly, you can’t say anything to anyone, okay?”

“Yeah, ‘course LouLou. So what happened? Tell me everything!” Kelly says excitedly.

“Well, it was… weird. And not in the way I was expecting. First of all, he came in his pants from just us kissing…”

“He what!?” she yells, and Louis shushes her. More quietly, she says, “Damn, here I was thinking he was some stud with hours-long stamina. Guess you really can’t tell from the cover, hmm?”

“So did I. I mean, I don’t really know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that. I guess I figured he’d just rush through it, fuck me, and then tell me everything I needed to improve on before doing it again. Maybe. I dunno.” Louis looks out the window and watches the leaves on the trees blow in the wind. “He said I didn’t do anything wrong, but maybe I tried too hard? Should I do less next time?”

“Hard to say. Maybe you should talk about what you’re going to do next time before doing it. That way, you both know what to expect."

Louis hums and looks back at his friend. “Yeah, good idea. I’ll try that tomorrow.”

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Louis’ on his way home from one of his side tutoring gigs when he stops in at the pharmacy to pick up some lube and condoms. He figures it’s probably good to have both on hand. Harry probably has a weekly subscription to both with the likely amount he goes through, but still, Louis is nothing if not prepared.

He picks out two different sizes of condoms and three different tubes of lube, not knowing which is best, so he figures it’s good to have options. 

When he’s home and in bed, newly acquired goods sitting next to him on his desk, he decides to check in with Harry. Make sure he isn’t having second thoughts.

Louis: Still on for tomorrow at 2? My place? Meet at the cafe again. 

Harry: 👍

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Chapter Text

Louis’ not as nervous this time. Harry’s misfortunately timed orgasm has given him a weird confidence in his abilities. And he’s now desperate to make Harry come again. Only, this time with his mouth.

When Harry shows up at the cafe this time, he’s wearing a plaid button down shirt only half buttoned up and black tight knee length shorts. He has a silver necklace hanging low on his chest, his legs are tan from always playing footie, and his hair is a mess of curls. 

“Hey,” Louis says. “Ready?”

“Actually, can I buy you a coffee? Catch up first? Feels like we jumped into this really fast.”

“Oh,” Louis says, disappointed. He was kind of hoping to keep this transactional, making it easier for Harry to critique him. He supposes that he could use this time to ask Harry about his grades so he can figure out where he needs the help. “Yeah, okay.”

They’re standing in line at the cafe, waiting to order, when a girl comes up to them. “Oh my God, Harry! Hi babe, how are you?” She throws herself at Harry and wraps her arms up around his neck, planting a kiss on his cheek.

“Hi Mandy, I’m good, thanks, love. I’m just with my friend Louis at the moment,” Harry says, gesturing towards Louis.

Mandy’s eyes go wide, and she winks. “Oh, gotcha, no worries. Have fun, you two,” she sing-songs before she sashays away, her bright blonde hair flowing behind her.

Harry is fidgeting on the spot, and Louis thinks maybe he’s interested in Mandy and that Louis was in the way. “Hey, um… I can, like, go sit outside if you want to chat her up. I have no other plans this afternoon, so I don’t mind waiting for a little while.” He smiles at Harry warmly.

Harry looks down and swallows. “Right, yeah. No, that’s fine. Mandy’s just a friend.” Harry smiles tightly at him. “What’s your coffee order?”

“You sure? Harry, you don’t need to pretend other people don’t exist around me. I know we’re not dating.” He laughs. “I know this is just a favour. Seriously, I’m happy—”

“It’s fine, Lou. Really. So, um, what do you want me to do to you?” Harry pauses, and his eyes go wide. “Get for you. What do you want me to get for you?”

“Okay, if you’re sure… Tea, please, dash of milk,” Louis replies, confused by Harry’s stumbling.

“Can you go grab us a table?” Harry asks, smiling at Louis softly.

Louis finds a table near the front window of the cafe and starts flicking through his emails while he waits for Harry. He nearly screams when he reads one of them and shouts, “No fucking way!”

Harry places his tea in front of him with his brows pinched together. “What’s up, Lou? Are you okay?”

“I just… I just got an email from the dean at MIT saying that they are interested in the research I’ve been doing in AI language processing and want to talk.” Louis’ hands are shaking, and his heart is pounding. “Holy shit, Harry. They want me. Me! Can you believe it?”

Harry coughs lightly. “Yeah, I can believe that. Wait, what’s MIT?”

“Massachusetts Institute of Technology,” Louis says while reading the email again.

“Isn’t that in America?”

Louis scoffs. “Yeah! Why?”

“Does that mean you’re leaving?” Harry asks tentatively.

“Jesus, Harry, I don’t know. I only just read the email. What’s with all the questions?” Louis looks over at Harry and notices that he looks sad. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. My emotions are just heightened right now.” He gives Harry a smile and reaches across to squeeze his hand. 

Harry looks down at their joined hands and exhales. He immediately looks back at Louis. “I’m happy for you, Lou. You’re so smart, you deserve it.”

Louis beams at the praise, feeling overwhelmed and happy. “Thanks, mate. Speaking of smart, do you know what subject you need help with? I’m happy to study up if I’m not currently taking it. After all, you’re doing me a huge favour with, you know.” Louis says the last part quietly and conspiratorially.

Harry moves his hand into his lap, which prompts Louis to retract his own, taking a sip of his tea. He looks at Harry and tilts his head to the side, hopefully encouraging him to speak. 

“Uh… I guess, maybe, Psych?” Harry says.

Louis does a little happy dance in his seat, smiling widely at Harry. “It’s your lucky day. I aced Psych, one of my favourite subjects.”

"Yeah, I know,” Harry says under his breath, but Louis still hears.

Louis does a small nervous laugh and says, “What? How do you know?”

Harry sits up straighter; his big legs bump into Louis’ under the table during the movement. “Oh, just… saw you won an award or something. It was in the school paper. You know, toilet read.” Harry shrugs. “Anyway, did you wanna—”

“Hazza! Mate, how are ya lad? You coming to Dylan’s birthday drinks at the Cricketers tonight? Heard it’s gonna be epic.” The random guy that’s interrupted them grabs Harry for one of those handshake-half-hug things, slapping him on the back harder than is probably comfortable. “Lot’s of hot chicks coming too,” he says, nudging Harry with his elbow and laughing. “Might even be one you haven’t fucked yet.”

Harry glances down at Louis, and Louis holds his hands up. “Don’t let me stop you.”

“James, gonna have to pass, mate. Already agreed to hang with my mate Louis here; we’re catching up on old times. Maybe next time.”

"Well, man, it’s open invitation, so come down and bring Louis too if you guys get bored.” James pauses to fist bump Louis. “Dyl won’t mind. More the merrier.”

“Will do, man,” Harry says, and handshake-half-hugs James again.

Once James is out the door, Harry turns back to Louis. “Sorry about that.”

“I’m sure we can be done early if you wanted to go to the pub with your friends,” Louis offers. Harry takes a sip of his drink as he pulls his chair back in. 

“Nah, the Cricketers pub will always be there, and those guys are always partying.”

“I mean, I feel pretty confident that I’m gonna make you come fast today, so…” Louis says with a smirk.

Harry chokes on his drink and starts bashing his chest with his fist, coughing and spluttering. “Yeah, okay, let’s go do that.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Louis feels a bit exposed getting naked; he’s only giving a blowjob after all, so he doesn’t see the need to take his clothes off. He’s standing in front of Harry, who is lying across the bed, his arms behind his head and his lower half of his legs over the edge of the bed. His plaid shirt is riding up, and Louis can see the laurel tattoos framing his hips.

Opting to keep his jeans on, Louis is only naked from the waist up. His chest on full display, and Harry is staring at him like he’s dessert; it makes Louis shiver.

“Right, so today I was thinking I could blow you, and you could tell me where I’m going wrong along the way so I can adjust and then give me a rating afterwards. Well, not a rating, but a review.” He chuckles and thinks for a second. "Oh, and I think I’d like to swallow… if I’m able to make you come. So maybe you could just warn me beforehand so I know what to expect?” Louis stops and looks at Harry, whose mouth is open and eyes are dark. He even looks hard already, but maybe Louis is imagining that.

“C'mere,” Harry whispers, gesturing with his fingers for Louis to come towards him. As soon as Louis gets close enough, Harry quickly sits up and grabs him, sending him tumbling onto the bed, and Harry’s hard body lands on top of his. “Do you mind if I kiss you first? You know, to get in the mood.”

Louis nods, and Harry wastes no time. The kiss feels even better than yesterday. Louis didn’t realise kissing could feel this good. It’s light and tender at first, with soft, pillowy lips and little breaks in between, until Harry deepens it, pressing his lips harder and pushing his tongue into Louis’ mouth. Harry moans and exhales, his hands travelling all over Louis’ naked torso. 

Right as Louis has the thought that he wishes Harry wasn’t wearing a shirt, Harry breaks the kiss and undoes the buttons on his shirt, shucking it off his shoulders. Louis drinks in the sight and somehow can’t help his hands immediately flying to Harry’s abs and then up his chest, resting on top of pecks, right over the swallow tattoos. Harry’s skin is soft, and Louis can feel himself getting hard in his pants. But they aren’t here for Louis’ pleasure; he needs to remember that. They’re here for practice.

“H,” Louis pants between kisses. “Hey… Harry… Um, let me… blow you.”

Harry stops kissing him and flops his body down, head buried in Louis’ neck. Before he moved, Louis could swear he felt Harry lightly kiss the side of his neck. Harry lays back, and Louis moves down his body. He kisses along the way to try and keep the mood sexy so that Harry stays turned on.

He undoes his jeans, and Harry lifts his hips so Louis can yank them and Harry’s boxers down at the same time. Harry’s cock springs free, and it’s fully hard and sitting flush against his lower abdomen. He’s big, Louis thinks. Is he even going to be able to fit all of Harry in his mouth? Part of his confidence is his research into deep-throating; he wanted to be able to take all of him in and impress him. But maybe that was too ambitious.

Louis glances up at Harry’s face, which has a small smile on it but is otherwise completely taken over by lust. He looks back down at Harry’s cock and grabs it, swiping the head with his tongue. Harry jerks immediately at the sensation and grunts.

Louis is undeterred; he thinks about everything he wrote down and starts the process of blowing Harry. Taking the head into his mouth and rolling his tongue around. He tastes kind of nice, salty, and warm; Louis likes it.

He starts to get really into it, jerking the base with his hand where his mouth isn’t reaching and bobbing his head up and down on the top half of Harry’s cock. He stops every now and then to tease, to lick up the underside and make a bit of a show of it, then taking Harry entirely back in his mouth again. His jaw is starting to hurt, and when he glances up at Harry, Harry’s head is completely back on the pillows facing the ceiling; he’s not even looking at Louis anymore.

Louis feels dejected, like maybe the sight of him doing this is turning Harry off, and Harry needs to imagine it’s someone else. He tries to push the thought out of his head. It’s not like he needs Harry to be attracted to him; he just needs his feedback. 

Louis decides to forgo any further theatrics and just work on hollowing his cheeks and sucking Harry down. After another minute or so, he decides to try deep-throating him. He relaxes his jaw and his throat, moves his hand so he’s only steadying the very base of Harry’s cock, and then takes him in as far as he can. He chokes when he’s almost at the base and tries to cough, which makes his throat constrict. He hears, “Oh shit,” from Harry, and then he feels warm come filling his throat and mouth.

Harry is shaking and repeating, “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” over and over as his hand settles on Louis’ head lightly. Louis slowly pulls off and swallows the rest of the come in his mouth. He grabs his t-shirt from the ground and wipes his mouth and Harry’s groin, making Harry hiss from sensitivity.

“How was it? You didn’t give any feedback as I was going, so I hope it was okay. I also noticed you stopped watching. Any particular reason why? Oh God, do I not look good from that angle? Should I try a different way?” Louis is sitting back on his heels in between Harry’s spread legs. Harry’s not saying anything until he suddenly sits up and grabs Louis by the waist, flipping him onto his back, and starts sucking on his nipple. “Ah, Haz… What are you doing?”

Harry doesn’t reply; he just keeps going and then starts sucking bruises all down Louis’ chest and belly. He yanks Louis’ trackies and underwear down and sighs when he sees Louis’ dick. “Of course it’s gorgeous too; I should have known,” Harry says right before he swallows all of Louis down. It feels so fucking good that Louis stops questioning or trying to protest and just lets it happen.

In all his research, Louis never once considered what it would feel like for him. He was so focused on Harry’s pleasure or the theoretical man he was blowing, that it never occurred to him that maybe they would want to return the favour. 

Harry’s a messy blowjob giver; there is spit everywhere and wet sounds as he jerks Louis’ cock with his spit. He hungrily takes him in his mouth again, sucking tightly, and Louis feels the telltale pull in his balls that he’s about to come. “Harry, Harry, I’m gonna… Harry. Oh fuck… Harry!” 

Louis comes harder than he ever has in his life. He sees stars, and his vision blacks out for a few seconds. He’s spasming and panting and trying to swallow the spit that’s pooling in his mouth.

“God, I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Harry says when he pulls off. His chest is heaving, and he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“What?” Louis asks, confused.

“Nothing… Um… Just— I just haven’t sucked a dick in a while; missed it is all I mean.”

“Oh, right.” Louis breathes a laugh. "Well, I hope it lived up to your standards.”

Harry crawls back up the bed and hovers over Louis, looking him in the eye. “More than,” he says, and kisses Louis tenderly.

They both lay on their backs, panting and regaining their breath, when Louis lightly slaps Harry on his peck. “You never gave me the review.” Louis turns onto his side to face Harry. “Was I okay for a first timer? Don’t hold back. What can I improve?”

Harry starts laughing and keeps his gaze on the roof. “You’re a natural, Little Lou. Honestly, you were so good, I had to look away so that I didn’t come too soon.”

“You swear it’s not because I look ugly from that angle?”

“Definitely not.” Harry turns to face Louis and leans forward, pressing a light kiss to his lips. “Did you maybe want to watch a movie or something?” Harry’s eyes are shining. Louis hasn’t seen his eyes ever look this green.

“Oh, um, actually, I have to study. But hey, you’ve got that party, right?”

“Right. Yeah. Nevermind. All good. Okay, I’m gonna go then.” Harry gets up, his semi soft cock flopping between his legs, before he grabs it and tucks himself away. His back is to Louis when he asks, “So, um… when were you free for that tutoring?” 

“Are you free this weekend? I can do either day, just let me know.”

“Okay, yeah. Let me check with my roommates, make sure nothing is happening at the house. Maybe you can come by there? More space, we can work on the dining table.”

Louis sits up fully, also tucking himself away. “Yeah, sounds good. Text me the address and time. Do you need me to bring the text books or anything?”

“Nope.” Harry smiles and kneels on the bed, leaning over to kiss Louis again. “Just yourself.” He swings his bag onto his shoulder and opens the door, winking at Louis. “See you later, Little Lou.”

Louis doesn’t even bother protesting the nickname.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Louis’ scrolling through social media before bed later that night when he gets a message from Harry.

Harry: doo u giv lessons on hw to be cute? 🤓

Louis: haha, what?

Harry: littttttle loooooooou. Ur cute 🤩

Louis: you’re drunk Harry, go home and rest.

Harry: ❤️can i comr to u ❤️ and sleep in ur bedd 🛏️

Louis rolls his eyes and doesn’t answer, figuring that he’s going to get nowhere with drunk Harry, and falls asleep.

He’s woken up about an hour later by the sound of his door buzzer that’s buzzing relentlessly, over and over. He doesn’t bother putting clothes on as he pads over and presses the button. “What?”

“Littleee loouuiisss! Open uppppp,” a very drunk Harry says.

Figuring the path of least resistance to get Harry to be quiet is to just let him in, he buzzes the door open and waits to hear it open and shut. He’s scanning his messy flat floor for a pair of underwear when the door thuds and he hears, “Ow!” outside.

Louis opens the door, keeping his naked body hidden behind it. “Did you just walk into the door?”

“I thought it would be unlocked.”

“Come in, you big buffoon,” Louis says, pulling Harry in by his arm. Louis closes the door and then turns around to resume his search for his underwear.

“Holy fuck, you’re naked. Why are you naked? Is someone here with you? Is he here with you?” Harry starts scanning the dimly lit room, looking a bit panicked.

Louis laughs. “No, you silly idiot. I was asleep. I sleep naked. And now I can’t find any fucking underwear.” Louis spots a pair of trackies and decides to slide them on commando instead. “What are you doing here, H?”

Harry is swaying slightly on the spot; his eyes are glassy, and he’s smiling dopily. “I didn’t get to cuddle you. I thought we could cuddle.”

Louis laughs softly and puts his hands on his bare hips. “You thought we could cuddle? Now? Why? We don’t need to cuddle. I know what we’re doing is a mutual agreement. Don’t feel like you need to give me aftercare or anything.” 

“I need to piss,” Harry says matter-of-factly and turns towards the bathroom, tripping on something along the way. He bends down and picks it up, throwing it at Louis. “Found your boxers.”

Louis catches them with one hand against his chest and watches as Harry disappears into Louis’ tiny bathroom, sliding the door shut. He sits on the edge of his bed and waits for Harry to return. After about ten minutes, when Harry hasn’t come back, he decides to check on him. “H, you okay in there? Didn’t fall asleep, did you?”

“No,” Harry calls back. “I’m awake. Lou, can we please cuddle? No questions asked. Please.”

He sounds so vulnerable and sad that Louis agrees and figures he can talk to him in the morning about it. “Yeah, mate, come to bed.” Louis takes off the trackies and switches them for the boxers, then climbs into bed, sliding over the side closest to the wall. Harry takes a while to come out, but when he does, he walks up the bed silently, taking off his shoes and clothes. Unlike Louis now, Harry goes completely naked.

Harry slides in next to Louis and scoots up beside him. He hovers near Louis’ face then says, “You’re so cute, it’s not fair.” 

Louis turns over to face the wall, his back now facing Harry, and Harry slots in behind him, arm up around his torso, and the other one slides under Louis’ pillow and neck. He kisses the dip between Louis’ neck and shoulder a few times, and then all Louis can hear is soft snuffles and the sound of Harry sleeping. He snuggles in and falls asleep to his friend's rhythmic breathing.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

“Morning,” Louis says when he wakes up to a hard cock pressed against his ass.

Harry groans and snuggles further into Louis’ body. “Not yet,” he says groggily.

“I gotta piss, Haz. You have to let go.”

Harry doesn’t respond, but he lets go of Louis and rolls onto his back, clutching his head in pain. “I think I drank too much last night; I don’t even remember coming here,” he says while Louis is peeing.

“You certainly weren’t sober,” Louis calls out and then flushes the toilet. He washes his hands and starts brushing his teeth when he hears Harry say something he didn’t quite make out. “Hmm?” he questions, walking out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth.

Harry turns to him and smiles. “I said: What does that mean?”

Louis holds up one finger as he goes to the bathroom to spit and rinse. He comes back out and says, “Just that you were quite vocal. Was funny.”

All the colour drains from Harry’s face right before Louis’ eyes. He’s never seen that happen before, and it’s like the fear transfers from Harry to Louis because suddenly he’s worried he said something wrong. “What did…” Harry starts and then says really quietly, “What did I say?” 

Louis can see him wince from the other side of the room and decides to just be honest with him. “Nothing serious, mate. You told me I’m cute, and you want to cuddle. Very adamant about cuddling.” Louis giggles.

“I need to go,” Harry says suddenly. “I’m sorry, Lou. I shouldn’t have come here last night. Can we just… forget I did that, please?”

Louis can barely even take a breath before Harry is nearly fully dressed again.

“Wait! Harry, stop.” Louis grabs Harry’s wrist, pulling him until he meets Louis’ eyes. “You were fine; there’s nothing to worry about.” He squeezes his wrist to emphasise his point. “Do you want to do tutoring today or tomorrow?”

Harry closes his eyes, plonking back on the bed to sit. “Today, but late today. Can you come over around six? Most of the guys will all be at Adrian’s party. Only Liam will be home. It’ll be quieter.”

Something possesses Louis to kiss Harry’s cheek, so he does, and as he’s pulling away, Harry grabs his face and kisses him hard. Harry breaks the kiss, rests their foreheads together, and sighs. He places one more peck on Louis’ lips, then drops his face.

“Okay, going now. See you tonight, Lou.”

Somehow, once the door shuts with Harry on the other side, Louis feels cold all of a sudden. He decides to take a shower and wash away the strange feeling.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Chapter Text

Louis knocks on the front door and then shuffles on his feet to keep warm until he’s let inside. No one is coming, so he knocks again and then fishes his phone out of his pocket to text Harry.

Louis: I’m at your door

Harry: no ur not, i can see my bedroom door and it’s open 😜

Louis: The FRONT door you doofus 🙄

The door opens about thirty seconds later and Harry blushes and says sorry, stepping aside and letting Louis in.

The house is exactly what you’d expect from five football guys living together. It’s not a pigsty, but it’s not exactly clean either. There’s a pair of socks hanging from the ceiling light, empty beer bottles littering the coffee table by the eight-person sectional couch, and bikes, shoes, cleats, balls, and bags everywhere. The house kind of smells like a locker room, and for some terrifying reason, it’s turning Louis on a little.

“Sorry about the mess,” Harry says shyly, closing the door.

Louis laughs. “I’m not one to talk, am I? Hopefully there’s no rogue underwear lying around like at my place.”

“I’m sure one of the guys has left some somewhere,” Harry jokes and points behind Louis. “Table is over there. Do you want a drink? Anything to eat?”

“You have Coke?”

Harry nods and disappears into what Louis presumes is the kitchen while he sets up the books on the dining table. He moves the unopened bills and empty popcorn bags down the other end and uses the back of his notebook to brush the table off. 

Harry comes back with two cokes and a plate of cookies. “I wasn’t sure what kind of cookies were your favourite, so I went with choc-chip as they're classic and most people love them. Do you like choc-chip? Oh my God, your face—you hate them, don’t you? I can—”

“Harry. I love choc-chip, thank you.”

Louis’s words seem to settle Harry, and he sits down, opening his coke and gulping half of it in one go. He places one hand on his belly and lets out a loud belch. Smiling after, like it’s something to be proud of. Louis can’t help the pointy smile that takes over his face.

“Right, so,” Louis starts, and then takes a bite of one of the cookies. “I was thinking— Oh fuck me, these are good. I feel like I’ve had them before. Where did you get them?”

Harry looks down and then takes another big gulp of coke. “Um, I… I made them, actually. Mum used to make them; it’s her recipe, and I really love them, so I make them sometimes.”

“I knew I’d had them before! They don’t taste quite the same, though; these are better.”

“Cinnamon. Mum never used to add that; it’s something that I have added in. I feel like it adds a little kick,” Harry says softly, like he’s somewhat embarrassed by this incredible skill.

Before Louis can reply, Liam comes barrelling down the stairs. “Hey, hey, party people,” he says, then bounds up and takes a cookie. “Haz, you holding out on us? You haven’t made these in ages. Fuck, they’re so good.” He moans exaggeratedly. “What’s up, Louis?” Liam asks, and fist bumps him.

“I’m good, mate, I’m good. Just helping Hazza here with Psych.”

Liam looks confused, and Louis watches as a piece of cookie falls off Liam’s lip and onto the table. He turns his whole body towards Harry and says, “Didn’t you get a B in Psych in our last exam?”

Harry laughs nervously and shoots a glance at Louis, then looks at Liam again. They maintain eye contact and appear to be having a silent conversation until Liam breaks the silence by saying, “Oh wait, that was Sociology, wasn’t it? Not Psych. My bad, sorry man.”

“Yeah,” is all Harry says.

Liam grabs another cookie, excuses himself to the kitchen, and then back up the stairs.

“Right, so. What I was going to say before was, I was thinking we could start with looking at the sensory—” Louis says but stops when the front door flies open and Corey comes stumbling in, super drunk.

“Oh shit,” he says when he sees Louis and Harry.

“Hey bro, how was your date with Kara?” Harry asks politely.

Corey does a crude thrusting gesture with his tongue out and winks. “She gives the best head; you should try her sometime,” he says to Harry.

Louis turns his nose up at the comment, offended for the poor girl, being offered up like a slice of pizza. 

“Um, I’m good, mate,” Harry replies, and Corey punches his shoulder.

“What the fuck, man? You’re usually up for… Oh shit, is this the guy?” He points at Louis.

Harry turns to Louis. “One second,” he says, then stands up, grabbing Corey’s arm.

Corey winks at Louis and takes a cookie. “Oh fuck yeah, you haven’t made these since you were hooking up with that blonde bird; what was her name?” Corey pauses. “Mandy! That’s it!”

“Yes, yes her name’s Mandy, but we—” Harry’s trailing voice says, sounding nervous as the two of them head into the kitchen.

Louis can no longer hear what’s being said now that they're out of earshot. When Harry returns, he apologises and asks if Louis wants to go to his room instead.

They make their way up the stairs and to the end of the hall, going into the large bedroom on the right.

Right away, Louis notices that the room is cleaner than the rest of the house. There are still clothes strewn about, but there is a distinct lack of dirt and crumbs. And the bed is made.

Harry has a king sized bed, which is a lot larger than Louis’ double, and he has the overwhelming urge to jump on it. He refrains, not wanting to mess up Harry’s nice, dark blue bedspread. 

“You can put the stuff there,” Harry says, pointing to his desk against the adjacent wall.

“Will we have enough space to study? We could probably spread out on the bed if you don’t mind hunching over.” Harry is just standing there, staring at Louis and smiling softly. “Harry?” Louis waves his hand through Harry’s line of sight, and Harry shakes his head.

“Sorry, yeah. Bed sounds good.”

Louis manages to get about halfway through explaining the visual and auditory sensory systems when Harry’s hand starts a trail up his leg. Starting at his ankle and slowly dragging along the inseam of his jeans until he reaches Louis’ inner thigh and squeezes.

“Haz,” Louis says, sighing. “What are you doing?” There’s no heat behind his words; they’re mostly playful.

“Nothing. Just thought we could have a different kind of lesson,” he says coyly.

He drags his hand up higher and cups Louis' cock and balls, lightly rubbing them, making Louis let out a controlled exhale. Louis pushes the books and paper to the side and lays back on the bed. “Fine, but we’re doing your psych stuff after.”

Harry makes a sound that’s close to a growl and climbs on top of Louis, lowering his body down so they're lined up. He runs his right hand up the underside of Louis’ left bicep, pushing his arm up onto the pillow behind his head, linking their fingers, and then leans down to kiss him. 

They kiss for a little while, soft and slow. Louis’ starting to think this is what normal kissing is, considering that’s how Harry always kisses. He thought before this that it would be harder, more forceful, and more tongue. But Harry’s so leisurely when he kisses, and it comes to him so naturally, that Louis is reconsidering what’s normal. It’s nice, though. Louis loves it. The slow glide of Harry’s lips on his, the soft, tentative tongue that sneaks inside Louis’ mouth—it all drives him crazy, and he’s already getting hard.

Harry moves his kisses to Louis’ jaw and then down his neck. He stops near his collarbone and starts to suck and bite, surely leaving a mark. Louis has the fleeting thought that he hopes he does leave a mark. Harry stays in Louis’ neck, sucking and biting, but he lets his free hand wander all over Louis’ body. He brushes up over his cock and under his t-shirt, scratching lightly at Louis’ belly.

He stops what he’s doing on Louis’ neck and slides down his body, biting at the flesh of his stomach. He pushes Louis’ tee up and licks from his belly button, up his sternum, and takes a pit stop on each nipple before returning to his face. “Can I touch inside you?” Harry asks with confidence.

Louis’ breath hitches. He’s never been touched there by another person. Sure, he’s explored a little on his own, but he’s always been too afraid to go further than the second knuckle of his middle finger. “Ye…” His voice gets caught in his throat, and he coughs to clear it. “Yeah, please.”

Louis sits up, pulls his t-shirt off, and starts to undo his jeans, but Harry bats his hand away. “Let me do it. I want to,” he says, and it makes heat rise to Louis’ face.

Harry is going really slowly, just like his kisses. He’s taking his time, like he’s trying to touch every inch of Louis. Maybe Louis has watched too much porn because he really thought that things moved faster, or even more awkwardly. But they don't; Harry and Louis seem to move in sync with each other. If they have an awkward moment, they giggle and then kiss. Louis’ eyes falling shut at every small touch from his friend.

Harry pulls Louis’ jeans and underwear down, kissing and mouthing at his inner thighs as he drags the fabric all the way down and off Louis’ legs, discarding them behind him on the ground. Louis feels exposed again, but this time in a good way. Harry appears to be drinking him in, and it makes Louis preen that Harry is getting aroused by the sight of him.

Since that first time, Louis has let Harry guide the speed and type of sexual encounters they have. So he has no idea if now is the time Harry will finally fuck him, but all he knows is that he wants Harry to be completely naked too. He wants to feel their bodies together, to know what his skin feels like as he grinds into him.

“H, please take off your clothes. This feels a little imbalanced,” he says instead of what he’s actually thinking. Those thoughts feel too heavy for this arrangement.

Harry obliges, of course, and strips down to nothing. And finally, Louis has a completely naked Harry on top of him. The full length of his warm body and hard cock are pressing down against Louis. The feeling is overwhelming and heady. He wraps his legs around Harry and shuffles them up and down, wanting as much of his skin touching Harry’s as he can. 

His nails drag down Harry’s shoulders and over his bicep, scratching the skin and making Harry shiver. Harry moans on top of him and says, “Fuck, Lou,” and then leans down and harshly kisses him. More intense now, more like what Louis expected from kisses to begin with—more commanding.

“One sec,” Harry says and rolls off him, back over to what is likely Harry’s side of the bed. He comes back a few seconds later and says, “Lube,” as he places the tube next to them on the bed. 

Louis’ heart rate picks up; he’s nervous. Everything they’ve done so far has felt good, as expected. But this feels like a line he’s finally crossing, being penetrated by someone, even if it’s only Harry’s fingers. Louis is suddenly so grateful that he chose his friend for this; he feels safe, and there’s no pressure. He honestly couldn’t picture a more perfect person to have these first time experiences with.

“I need you to relax, baby. It’s going to feel weird at first, probably. But the more you clench, the more it can hurt. I promise to go slow and be gentle, but I need you to let me in. Okay?”

Louis can’t bring himself to speak, so he just nods his head while meeting Harry’s eyes. Harry settles between Louis’ legs, grabbing each ankle and propping his feet flat on the bed. He grabs the pillows not being used by Louis and then runs his large palm up the backside of Louis’ thigh, pushing him up and back so he can fit the pillow under his lower back. They hold eye contact the whole time.

Harry rests Louis’ right ankle on his shoulder, leans over, and grabs the lube. He brushes up against Louis’ hard and neglected cock, and it makes him let out a soft whimper. Harry hears and takes pity on him as he shuffles down further and takes the head of Louis’ cock into his mouth. Sucking on the head for a beat. He drops the lube by Louis’ hip and uses his hand to give Louis’ dick a light squeeze. The pressure is overwhelming, and a small amount of precome dribbles out. Harry smiles and noisily slurps it up. 

Harry uncaps the lube and squirts some onto his hand. He coats his right index and middle finger and then pushes Louis’ left knee so he gets the hint and pulls his leg up and back, with his right leg still resting on Harry’s shoulder. Harry turns his head and gently kisses the side of Louis’ shin. He pats his leg and then places his finger right over Louis’ hole.

“You ready, baby?”

That’s the second time Harry has called Louis ‘baby’ in the last thirty minutes. He figures Harry must just be lost in the moment and not realise what he’s saying, so he decides to ignore it.

“Um.” Louis swallows, and Harry must sense Louis’ hesitation because he leans his body up over Louis again, forcing Louis’ leg to stretch, pressed under Harry’s torso. The movement pushes his hip up, and Harry’s finger presses against his hole. “Trust me, Lou, let me in,” Harry whispers, then kisses Louis fiercely. His left hand finds Louis’ hair, and he runs his fingers through the strands, grabbing his head softly.

Harry pushes his tongue inside Louis’ mouth with a groan, and as he does that, he starts to slide a finger inside. Louis grips onto Harry’s shoulders and gasps into his mouth. Harry takes the opportunity to kiss him deeper and press his finger in further. Louis clenches; he can’t help it. Harry nips at his lip with his teeth. “Trust, baby, trust.” 

The words settle in Louis’ chest, and he lets out a breath that was trapped in his chest. He consciously unclenches the muscles in his body, and Harry says, “That’s it, baby, just like that.” Harry starts to slide his finger in and out of Louis, and just when Louis is getting used to the strange feeling, Harry adds another finger. The stretch feels massive, but he reminds himself to relax, and Harry keeps going. 

Louis’ feeling proud of himself, and he smiles at Harry. Harry looks like he wants to say something; his eyes glaze over, and then he looks away. Right as Louis is about to get his attention to ask what he was going to say, Harry hooks his fingers and drags deliciously along Louis’ prostate.

Never in his life has Louis felt anything as pleasurable and stimulating as that moment. It’s like he can feel his nerve endings letting off little fireworks all over his body, sending the fizzing light straight to his cock. His whole body shudders on the mattress and a low moan escapes his throat. He needs to kiss Harry; he needs this moment punctuated with a kiss. “Kiss me?” he asks with his eyes closed, and a moment later he feels Harry’s warm lips meet his.

“I’ll always kiss you if you ask me,” Harry whispers right as he brushes over Louis’ prostate again. Louis arches his back off the bed, and Harry’s hand chases him, pressing and rubbing inside him. Louis’ head is thrown back, and his eyes are clamped shut. He’s honed in on the sensation; his cock is so hard it’s starting to hurt and then Harry starts to fuck his fingers in and out, bumping his spot on each push in.

Louis can barely take it anymore; he’s so close. The relentless pumping inside him is building, and his toes are curling. “Harry… I’m…”

“Come for me, baby.” Harry keeps up his finger fucking and takes Louis’ cock in his mouth, which is enough to send Louis over the edge, and he comes in hot waves. Harry moans around him and sucks the last of his drops out of him, then lets Louis’ cock fall from his mouth. Louis winces as Harry removes his fingers, feeling oversensitive everywhere.

He’s breathing heavily, and his eyes are still closed, not ready to come back to reality yet. He feels Harry shift off the bed and then back on a moment later. He lays down next to Louis and brushes the hair off his forehead, pulling him closer.

Louis slowly returns to his body and opens his eyes. Suddenly, he realises that Harry hasn’t come. “Oh my God, you haven’t come. Here, let me blow you, please. It’s only fair.”

“Lou, it’s fine. I came. I came when you came, actually.” He pauses and licks his lips. “We came together.”

Louis rests back against the pillows. His body feels like it’s run a marathon, every muscle is fatigued. “Do you have any weed?” he asks.

Harry giggles loudly. “Yeah, Liam’ll have some. Let me just go grab a couple of joints.”

Harry moves to get up, and Louis stops him. “Wait, can you stay for a few minutes first? Just… I’m just not quite feeling normal yet.”

“Of course, bab— Lou,” he says as he settles back down and curls around Louis’ body, stroking his arm.

Louis feels more content than he’s ever felt. Happiness is blossoming from deep within him. He’s so glad he chose Harry for this.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry strides back into the bedroom with a triumphant smile on his face. He’s wearing only a pair of boxers and holding up two joints. Louis feels a wave of shyness ripple through his body at the fact that Liam probably now knows that Harry and Louis just had sex. Except, they didn’t really have full-on sex, but people are going to think that. 

“Got them!” Harry beams and plonks back down on the bed. He props the pillows up behind his back and lights the first joint, passing it to Louis while he exhales. “We’ll save the other one for later.”

“Good idea.” Louis inhales the smoke and holds it in his lungs for a beat before expelling it in front of him. It doesn’t take long for the relaxing effect to take over his body and his limbs feel heavy.

Louis lays there still, completely naked, staring at the ceiling, while Harry sits propped up, one leg out straight and one knee bent with his foot flat on the bed. They pass the joint back and forth.

“Do you ever think about how weird it is how life works out?” Louis asks.

“Hmm?”

“Like, when we were kids and you asked to practice kissing. Like, imagine if we told our younger selves what we were doing now.”

Harry doesn’t reply at first, he just leans over and plucks the joint from Louis’ fingers. Louis can hear the light crackle of the joint as Harry inhales, and a few moments later, there's a cloud of smoke dissipating in front of him. “I’d never believe it. I’d want to, but I’d never believe it.”

Louis turns on his side to face Harry. “You’d want to?”

Still not looking at him, Harry takes another puff on the joint, finishing it and putting it out. “Well yeah, I had a crush on you when we were kids.” Harry states it so blankly and so matter-of-factly that Louis is sure he misunderstood.

“What? Fuck off, you did not.” He uses his toe to push Harry’s thigh.

Harry catches Louis’ ankle and stops him from kicking him again. “I did, actually. But anyway, doesn’t matter. Tell me about your research that MIT wants you for.”

Louis gets so caught up watching Harry’s side profile as he talks that he completely forgets what he was going to say. What were they talking about again? He’s sure he had a follow up question, but the entire conversation is evading him. Louis’ silence obviously prompts Harry to swivel his head and look him in the eye. He’s beautiful, Louis thinks.

“Lou?”

“Hmm? What was the question?”

Harry starts to laugh loudly, a high pitched giggle that Louis finds adorable and sets him off too. “I don’t… I don’t remember either.” They continue to laugh, and Harry settles down on his side, facing Louis, a few inches apart. “‘M’sleepy,” he says and yawns.

“Me too,” Louis whispers. He turns around and gets under the covers, a silent ask for Harry to spoon him. It doesn't take long for the length of Harry’s body to press up against his back and his arm to snake around his chest.

“Night, Little Lou,” Harry says in his ear and then kisses his cheek.

“Don’t call me th…” Louis’ not sure he even finishes the sentence before sleep takes over him.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Louis needs to piss. And he’s hard. And he’s naked. Where is he? He’s groggy and disoriented, and it takes him a few more moments to realise he’s in Harry’s bed, with Harry wrapped around him like a koala bear. Fuck, where was the bathroom again?

Slowly, he extracts Harry’s arm from around him and slips out of the bed. He slides his boxers on when he finds them and then slips out of the room. Thank God for small mercies because he sees the bathroom as soon as he closes Harry’s door. It’s across the hall to the left. He tiptoes for some reason, still feeling weird about anyone finding him and knowing what he and Harry are doing, and slips inside, closing the door.

Difficult as ever to pee with an erection, he manages just barely and then looks himself in the mirror while washing his hands. He’s a right mess. His hair is going in every direction, there are pillow creases on his cheek, and he has purple bruises and marks all over his neck and upper chest. “Fucking hell, Harry,” he says under his breath while exploring them with his fingers. “Possessive bastard.”

He finds a tube of toothpaste and does the classic ‘finger toothbrush’ in lieu of a real toothbrush, trying to freshen up. He washes his face and smooths his hair, and then finally feels good enough to return to Harry’s room. When he opens the bathroom door, he jumps, not expecting a person to be standing there.

“Hi, I’m ah… morning,” he tries.

Liam laughs and folds his arms, leaning back on the opposite wall. “Morning, have a good night?”

Louis blushes, feeling extremely self-conscious standing practically naked, talking to one of Harry’s friends. “Yeah, thanks for the weed.” He tries to sound confident, but even he can tell it falls flat. “Well, ah, I better…” He points to Harry’s door and then starts moving towards it.

Thankfully, Liam doesn’t say anything else other than a, “No worries,” and Louis slips back into the safety of Harry’s room with his heart beating rapidly.

He’s standing there gathering his thoughts when Harry says, “Morning,” and Louis startles and jumps, letting out a very not-manly squeal. “Oops,” Harry says, covering a laugh.

“Hi.”

“You alright?”

Louis climbs back onto the bed, sitting propped up like Harry is. “Yeah, just ran into Liam. Was a bit awkward, is all.”

Harry furrows his brow. “Why?” he asks.

"Well, for a start, I look like I’ve been mauled by a tiger.” He points at his neck and looks faux annoyed. “And secondly, I was practically naked, and I don’t even know him. Felt weird.”

Harry giggles and pulls Louis into a hug. “It’s just Liam, don’t worry. He already knows all about— um, well, he knows that we used to be friends and stuff. He’s a good dude, he won’t say anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Harry squeezes his hold on Louis to accentuate his point.

Louis decides to let it go. “What time is it?” he asks to change the topic.

“Little after eleven.”

“Oh fuck, I should go. Get out of your hair. Unless… Do you want to do that tutoring? You kind of distracted us last night.”

Harry tightens his hold. “Are you doing anything today? Because if not, I was thinking maybe we could hang out. I’m enjoying getting to know my friend again.”

That does sound really nice, and Louis doesn’t have anything planned for the day. “Okay, yeah. But we have to study at some point. I need to feel like I’m giving something back to you. You’re being such a good friend; I know this probably isn’t easy. Having sex with a virgin. I’m super grateful, Harry.”

Harry grabs him tight and then rolls them over until Louis is on his back and Harry is on top of him. “We never finished the lesson from last night.”

“Yeah, I know, that’s what I was saying—”

“No, not the Psych lesson. The fun one.”

“Well, I actually find Psych quite f—” Louis is cut off by Harry kissing him.

Harry breaks the kiss. “Have you ever fingered someone, Louis?” he asks and proposes at the same time, and Louis catches on to what Harry is getting at.

“Oh, um, no,” Louis answers. 

“Stay,” Harry says, and then disappears out of the room. He comes back about five minutes later and immediately strips out of his boxers. He climbs up the bed on his hands and knees and then grabs the lube from the bedside table and places it in Louis’ palm. He smirks when pulling Louis’ boxers down and they get caught on his ass.

Harry takes Louis’ half hard cock in his mouth and sucks. Popping off to jerk and then sucking again in repeated motions, bringing Louis to full hardness. Harry is enthusiastic, to say the least, and Louis gets so lost in the sensation that it startles him when Harry swings his left leg over Louis’ torso, placing both knees by his shoulders, ass in Louis’ face, and all while never letting Louis’ cock fall from his mouth.

Harry wiggles his ass when Louis hasn’t so much as moved an inch, and he gets the message. With shaky hands and trying to maintain his composure, he lubes up one of his fingers and then starts to slowly stroke over Harry’s rim.

Harry moans deeply on Louis’ cock and shivers. Louis likes the reaction he’s getting, so he keeps doing it. Lightly tracing the edges of Harry’s rim with his lube-slick finger. Distantly, he wonders what he tastes like.

Wiggling his ass again, it’s clear Harry’s done with the teasing; he wants Louis to press in. As Louis watches his finger slowly sink inside Harry, Harry slips forward and seemingly unintentionally takes Louis deep in his throat. It shocks Louis, and he reflexively thrusts and then realises what he’s done and says, “Shit, sorry, sorry.”

Harry pops off and heaves a breath, turning his head to look at Louis. There is spit dripping from his lips, and his whole face is flushed. He keeps jerking Louis as he watches him. Louis breaks the eye contact to go back to watching his finger slide in and out. “Add another,” Harry says breathily.

“You sure?”

“Mhhmm, yep, please.”

Louis grabs the lube to add more and then slides his middle finger in at the same time as his index finger. He’s mesmerised watching the way Harry’s body swallows him. “Curl your fingers when you’re all the way in, feel around and you’ll find my pros— ah, yeah!” He pants heavily. “Right… right… there.”

“Here?” Louis says as he curls his fingers again, knowing exactly where Harry’s prostate is now. He grins at him, feeling satisfied that he has Harry in the palm of his hand.

Harry turns back around and sucks Louis’ cock into his mouth again, keeping the pressure and suction strong as his reply. He starts to fuck himself on Louis’ fingers, rocking back and forth and blowing him at the same time. Every few rocks, Louis curls his fingers and relishes in the way Harry responds. He’s not going to be able to hold out much longer, which is lucky because right as Harry pushes back one last time, Louis feels warm come spread over his chest and stomach as Harry deepthroats Louis and lightly cups his balls. Louis comes a moment later, fingers still buried in Harry’s ass.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

By the time the two have had showers and are ready to ‘start the day’, it’s 2 p.m.

“You wanna grab some food?” Louis says as he pulls his t-shirt on. On cue, Harry’s stomach grumbles, and they both laugh. “Guess that’s a yes, then.”

“Fuck yes!”

Harry guides them down the road, turning the corner a few times. After just over ten minutes of walking, they end up at a little pizza place. Harry holds the door open for Louis and Louis smiles at him as he walks in.

They fight over what pizza to get and end up settling on margarita, though Louis grumbles because he wanted ham on it and Harry didn’t. They sit in the window and devour the whole thing while talking about what they plan to do after uni.

“What do you mean? I thought you loved footie,” Louis says.

“I do. I just… Coach says I could go all the way, but I don’t know if that’s what I want. You know?”

“Yeah, I get it.” Louis takes a large bite of the floppy pizza and feels sauce dribble down his chin. “What would you do instead, then?”

Harry places his slice down in front of him and wipes his hands on a napkin. He looks down and studies his hands as he wipes them. He looks almost nervous, scared to talk.

“Hey, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Louis urges.

“It’s fine. I just haven’t actually told anyone before, is all.” Harry pauses and then looks up to meet Louis’ eye. “Um… Well, I want to… I want to be a baker, actually.” He blushes as he says it.

“That’s great, Haz! What’s wrong with that?”

“You don’t think it’s a dumb job?”

“No, not at all. Pastry chefs are highly skilled and trained. It’s an excellent choice. Really, those cookies were amazing, for a start.”

Harry smiles so wide that his dimples are in full force. Gorgeous.

“Thanks, Lou. Means a lot coming from you.”

Louis laughs lightly, picking up his pizza again. “What do you mean, me?”

“Well, because you’re so smart. And I’m not. And if you don’t think it’s dumb, then maybe it’s not dumb. Maybe I’m not.”

“You’re not dumb,” Louis states resolutely. “And besides, even if you were, who cares? You’re a good person, and that’s what matters.”

Harry smiles down at his pizza. “I’ve had enough to eat; do you want to go for a walk? Let this settle."

Louis shoves the last of the piece in his mouth, filling his cheeks and nods while smiling. Harry shakes his head fondly, and they say thanks to the shop owners before leaving.

There’s a park not far from the restaurant, so they wander over there to walk through the tree-lined path. Harry takes out his phone and snaps a picture of Louis when he’s looking up at the top of the trees. “Hey! Stop it!” he says playfully.

Harry doesn’t stop, so as they're walking, he keeps taking pictures of Louis and laughing. Louis decides to retaliate and takes pictures of Harry too. Louis runs ahead of him, hides behind a large tree, and then jumps out from behind it to snap a surprised picture of Harry. He can’t stop laughing at the look on his face. Louis walks ahead of Harry for a bit and keeps snapping random pictures over his shoulder without looking.

They make it over to the part of the park with the river, and Harry points out the sign that says, ‘Boats for Hire’.

“Let’s get a boat! C’mon!” Harry grabs Louis’ hand and drags him to the kiosk to hire one.

Once they're in the water, Louis’ starting to think this isn’t such a good idea. He’s never rowed a boat before, and he’s worried they will crash.

“You sure this was a good idea?” Louis asks while assessing the likelihood of the boat tipping over.

Harry snorts. “Why? You scared, Little Lou?”

“Fuck off. Just never done it before. What if we crash?”

“We won’t. And I’ll protect you. Trust me.”

The words are an echo of what Harry said to him in bed, and Louis feels heat course through him at the memory. He swallows and nods.

Harry paddles them down the river, and Louis feels like a proper passenger princess. He’s just sitting there, doing nothing, letting Harry take them wherever he sees fit. It feels almost metaphorical to what is happening with the other side of their friendship at the moment.

Harry keeps paddling, staring at Louis, and smiling. Suddenly, his eyes go wide, and he starts to paddle in the other direction.

“What’s wrong?” Louis says, with panic.

“Nothing, baby. Um, Lou,” Harry is talking faster than Louis’ ever heard words leave his mouth before. 

He’s about to comment on it when, suddenly, he’s underwater. He scrambles to turn the boat over and climb back in. It’s too late now; he’s already soaked. Good thing they left their phones and important things in the locker at the kiosk.

He finds Harry a few metres away, bobbing in the water and laughing. “Whoops,” he offers.

“You fucker! You said to trust you!”

Harry swims over to Louis and snakes his arms around him, planting a soft kiss on his lips. “You distracted me. I didn’t see the boulder.”

“How did I distract you? I was just sitting there, looking fine as fuck.” He smirks.

“Exactly! Distracting!”

They kiss a few more times, soft and caring. Louis has the silly thought that this feels like a date, but he shakes his head of that notion. Harry is his friend.

They collect their boat and paddle back to shore to drop it off. The boat hire guy gives them both a once over, taking in their head to toe wet clothes, and shakes his head. He hands them their stored belongings and taking the boat in return.

As they’re walking away, the sky opens up, and there’s a loud clap of thunder. Rain immediately starts to pour down, and they both just laugh because they’re already wet anyway; what does it matter? They walk up out of the park, clutching each other and giggling. There’s a pub on the corner, and they go inside to warm up. It’s just an average pub, stools at the bar, a few tables with patrons and a dartboard on the wall in the elevated area at the back. They get a few weird looks but buy a couple of beers and sit on the wooden chairs by the fire, drying their wet clothes and warming up.

“I can’t believe you crashed the boat!” Louis teases.

“I stand by my reasoning. It’s technically your fault! If you weren’t so fucking cute…” Harry pauses and looks at the fire. “Also, um, I’ve been meaning to ask… I was wondering if you’d like to come to watch me play footie on Wednesday? We’re up against one of the better schools, so it should be a good game.”

“I’d love to,” Louis breathes out.

“Great. Good. Um… yeah, great.” Harry stumbles over his words for a bit. “You can sit with Amber and Jasmine, they come to every game. Liam and Toby’s girlfriends,” he clarifies.

Louis agrees, and Harry gets them another round of pints. Harry’s been telling him non-stop footie stories, making Louis laugh. He’s really happy, he realises.

His cheeks are rosy. He feels warm and giddy. He’s not sure if it’s the fire and beer causing it or if the amazing man in front of him is the culprit. He feels himself smiling at Harry, enamoured with what he’s talking about. He’s confused when Harry stops his animated story, and his face sours.

“H, what’s…” He stops talking because Harry gestures with his head to something behind Louis. Louis turns around and sees Joey standing there. “Oh, hey, Joey.” He jumps down off the stool. “I’d give you a hug, but I’m not quite dry yet.” Louis laughs and tries to fix his fringe.

“Hey Louis, what are you two up to?” Joey asks and leans down, planting a kiss on Louis’ cheek. Louis immediately feels a little uncomfortable, and he can’t pinpoint exactly why.

“Just having a pint; do you want to join us?”

Joey looks over Louis’ shoulder at Harry and then glances back at Louis. “Nah, my mates are just over there, best not keep them waiting. Are you still coming to our party in a couple of weeks?”

“Yeah, of course! Wouldn’t miss it.” Louis’ pulse is quickening. He’s worried Joey is losing his interest, so he decides to hug him anyway. He smiles shyly at him after the hug. “Sorry, hope I didn’t get you all wet.”

Joey chuckles. “No, I’m fine. See you later, Louis.” He kisses Louis’ cheek again and leaves.

Louis spins around and sits back down. “Sorry, that was—”

“I know who Joey is. Listen, I actually have to go. I forgot that I promised Corey I’d help him with something. You stay, though, enjoy your beer. I’ll text you later, okay?” He taps the table and his rings clink on it, drawing Louis’ attention.

“Oh, oh, yeah, no worries. Okay. Hope everything is okay with Corey, then.”

“Yeah, just needs some help sorting some stuff out. Alright, well, bye, Louis. I’ll ah… I’ll see you around.”

Harry is gone before Louis even has a chance to say anything else. His beer is only half drunk, and he didn’t hug or kiss Louis goodbye. It unsettles him, and he knows it shouldn’t because they’re just friends, but still, he feels his chest ache at the loss.

He finishes his beer while texting Kelly; maybe she can make sense of everything.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Chapter Text

It’s been just over two days since Louis has heard from or seen Harry. It’s Wednesday morning now, and he hasn’t seen him since Sunday night at the pub. He texted Harry twice, once on late Sunday evening to check if he was okay, to which he got no response, and a second time on Tuesday afternoon to send him a football meme he thought was funny. Harry laugh-reacted to the meme, but that’s it.

Now it’s Wednesday, and he’s starting to worry because since they started this thing, their conversations and contact have been near constant, so the fact that he hasn’t heard from him has Louis worried.

“Do you think he’s over me and doesn’t know how to tell me?” Louis asks Kelly, who’s sitting at the foot of his bed reading an article online.

“I think he’s a dickhead for not texting you back,” she replies without looking up from her phone.

Louis whines. “Kellllyyyy!” He sits up straighter on the bed. “He’s not a dickhead. He’s just busy, I guess. What should I do?”

Kelly sighs, puts her phone down, and smirks. “Maybe he just doesn’t like fucking you. Maybe you’re a shit lay.” She sticks out her tongue.

“Fuck you! We haven’t even had sex yet! It’s not that.”

“What?! You’ve been with him nearly every day, and he’s slept here and you’ve slept there, and THE Harry I’ll-fuck-anything-that-moves Styles hasn’t fucked you yet? Damn, maybe there is something wrong with you,” she exclaims.

Louis lets out a frustrated grunt. “We’re working up to it. It’s not because he doesn’t want to. I think.” Louis ponders that thought for a moment. What if that’s why he hasn’t heard from Harry? What if he doesn’t want to fuck him, and that’s why he’s avoiding him?

He’s had every opportunity to fuck him so far, but he hasn’t. Maybe he doesn’t think Louis is worthy of that. A sudden wave of sadness clenches in his stomach at that thought.

Kelly must notice something has shifted because she’s suddenly sitting next to him. “Hey, I’m sorry. There’s nothing wrong with you, LouLou. If he doesn’t want to fuck you, that’s his problem. You’re a catch! Honestly no idea what his fucking problem is.” She reaches out and takes Louis’ head into a hug against her chest.

“Maybe I should end it.” His words are muffled against Kelly’s breasts. “I’ve done enough now that I shouldn’t be too surprised with whatever Joey wants to do. Yeah, I’ll talk to him after his game and end it. Take the power back.”

Kelly runs her fingers through his hair, using her acrylic nails to scratch his scalp. It’s extremely calming, and it’s distracting him from the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach at the idea of ending things with Harry. 

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

When Louis and Kelly arrive at the football game, Kelly sees some of her other friends and waves. She turns back to Louis and rests a hand on his shoulder. “You going to be alright if I go sit with the others, babes?”

Louis nods. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Come find me if you need.” She kisses his cheek and gives him a tight hug.

Louis stands there dumbly, not knowing where to go. He wanders for a bit until he hears someone calling his name. “Louis! Hey! Over here!”

He follows the sound and sees a girl with long blonde hair, Harry’s friend from the cafe. He approaches her tentatively, smiling. “Hey… Um…”

“Mandy,” she says.

“Right! Mandy, sorry. How are you?”

“Good, babes. Harry said to find you and look after you,” she says cherrily, smiling at him with her perfectly white teeth.

“He did?” Louis says, confused. Why is Harry asking Mandy—a probable ex-fuck of his—to babysit Louis when he won’t even return a text?

Mandy links her arm with his. “Yeah, babes, ‘course,” she says, like it’s totally obvious that Harry would want that. It’s not.

Mandy walks him over to a small sectioned off area at the front of the seated viewing section and introduces him to everyone there. Among them are Amber and Jasmine, whom Harry mentioned would be here, and also three others. “Hi,” Louis says to all of them at once, waving his hand.

“You’re Harry’s boyfriend, right?” Jasmine asks. Amber elbows her in the side. “Ow!” she says. Louis swallows and picks at his nail as he watches the interaction.

“Don’t mind her. It’s nice to meet you, Louis. I’ve heard great things.” Amber stands up and hugs him. “Are you excited for the game?”

“Yeah. Should be good. Love football, but haven’t been to a game in a while.”

“Well, Harry’s glad you’re here,” Jasmine says from behind Amber. She smirks at him, and Louis’ not sure how to take that.

“Oh, um… Yeah, um…” Louis stammers.

“Here, come sit with us.” Amber pulls Louis down onto the bleacher between her and some guy named Ben. Mandy sits on the other side of Ben and kisses his cheek. Oh, so they are together.

“Are you all friends with Harry?” Louis asks, genuinely curious.

“I am,” Amber says. “My boyfriend is Harry’s best friend. You’ve met him, Liam.”

“Right, of course.”

Mandy speaks next. “Yeah, Harry and I have been mates for ages. Good egg, that one. And Ben here is my boyfriend.” She beams up at Ben.

“And I’m dating Toby; he’s on the team with Harry and lives with him too, so we see each other all the time,” Jasmine says, smacking gum between her teeth.

“Jesus, is everyone a couple here?” Louis jokes.

“Almost,” Jasmine answers, and gets another jab in her side from Amber. “Anyways, them two,” Jasmine starts, pointing to the only other two people sitting with them that are making out furiously, “are just here for vibes. Jackie’s brother plays, so she comes to support, and Leslie’s just here to make out with Jackie.”

Louis nods. “Okay, as long as no one else starts making out, I think I’ll be fine.” He laughs and the others join in.

“Louis is an interesting name; Amber’s brother is Louis too, even pronounced the same,” Jasmine states once the laughter dies down.

“Oh really? Wow, small world. Almost never run into any other Louis’,” Louis directs at Amber.

She nods. “Yep, little brother. Last year of high school.”

The team runs out onto the pitch at that moment, and Louis’ stomach does a little flip when he sees Harry’s number 17 on his jersey and his strong legs pushing him forward. Harry turns towards the stands and appears to be scanning the crowd. His eyes land on Louis, and his face lights up. Louis can’t help the big smile that takes over his face.

Harry has a good game, seemingly. Their school wins, and Louis watches as he celebrates by jumping all over his teammates. Louis stands and claps, cheering and screaming his joy at their win.

Harry comes running over to him after the game, all sweaty and dirty, smiling from ear to ear. “We won, Lou!” he calls up to Louis in the stand.

Louis giggles. “I saw!”

“You still coming over?” Harry looks hopeful.

“Uh… yeah, sure,” Louis replies, feeling Mandy pinch his thigh. 

Harry grins and the points at the locker room, Louis nods and watches him jog away.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Louis waits against the painted blue wall by the locker room for Harry to come out. Palms pressed to the wall behind his back, and bum resting on the backs of his hands. Two guys walk out and pay him no mind, but Louis is sure he hears one of them say, “Yeah, man, Styles is whipped.”

Louis feels nervous. Is Harry into someone? Is that why he stopped talking to Louis for a few days? Maybe he was with them. Louis pushes off the wall; maybe this was a bad idea. He should just end things before he gets hurt. He can feel himself starting to like Harry a bit too much, so it’s for the best, really.

He’s working up the confidence when Harry comes tumbling through the door. He spots Louis and drops his duffle, running over to him, picking Louis up, and spinning him around. “My lucky charm,” Harry says, and then pushes Louis against the wall and kisses him roughly.

Louis squirms, placing his feet on the ground, and pushes Harry off. “Harry!” he says while laughing and looking around them to see if anyone saw. “Stop.”

Harry giggles and then steps forward, pressing his body against Louis’, kissing him again. One of Harry’s hands is on Louis’ hip, and the other is on his cheek. Louis keeps his palms pressed to Harry’s chest, pressing lightly to get him to back off. Louis’ afraid if people see them that they’ll get the wrong idea and say something to Harry, and that that would make Harry stop.

“I’m just so happy you came, Little Lou,” Harry says as he pulls back and looks into Louis’ eyes, both hands holding his hips now. 

“You are?”

Harry furrows his brow and steps back, pinching his lip. “Yeah… Of course, we’re friends, right? I always love when my friends come to watch me play.”

Friends. Right.

Louis shakes his head lightly. “Yeah, we’re friends. So, um, Harry, I wanted to talk, actually.”

Two of Harry’s teammates exit the locker room, and the three of them play-wrestle and slap each other on the back as congrats for the game. “Get it, Styles!” one says, earning him a punch in the shoulder.

Harry turns back to Louis, leaning over him with one hand on the wall behind Louis’ head. “What’s up, Little Lou? You wanted to talk? I can think of other things we could do with our mouths,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“First of all, don’t call me that.” He smirks, and Harry grins. “Secondly, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about—”

“No way! Were you thinking about rimming tonight too!? That’s so cool. It’s all I could think about today. Surprised I was able to focus on the game, actually, when all I could think about was eating your ass.”

Louis splutters. “What?”

“Your ass, it’s—”

“No, Harry. What? You haven’t texted me back in almost three days, and now you tell me you’ve been thinking about my ass? What’s going on?”

Harry stands back and crosses one arm across his chest, the other pinching his lip again. “I’m sorry. It’s… Um… It’s my problem; it’s not you. I’m sorry. Do you forgive me? I’ll make it up to you.”

At an impasse, Louis doesn’t know what to do. Deciding to choose between sticking with the plan of calling things off with Harry or going to his house and experiencing what it’s like to be eaten out ends up being an easy decision as Louis is a weak, weak man.

“Take me back to your place and prove it.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Louis’ whole body bounces when he’s literally thrown onto Harry’s bed off his shoulder—how he was carried up the stairs. He laughs and scoots up the bed.

Harry climbs on top of him and kisses him. He flops to the side a moment later. “Little Lou, I’m so tired. And thirsty,” he whines.

“I’ll go get you something to drink,” Louis says. “Water okay?”

Harry shakes his head. “Gatorade, blue,” he says.

Louis goes downstairs to the kitchen in search of blue Gatorade when he runs into Liam and Amber on the couch watching a movie. “Hey guys,” Louis says.

“Hi Louis,” they reply in unison like they planned it.

“Just grabbing Harry a drink,” he says, slinking into the kitchen. The fridge is stocked with gatorades and energy drinks, so he grabs one of each and heads back upstairs. He can feel Liam’s and Amber’s eyes on him as he climbs the stairs. “Enjoy the movie,” he calls out.

When Louis closes Harry’s door and turns around, he finds Harry fast asleep, hugging the pillow from Louis’ side of the bed. Louis places the drinks next to Harry on the bedside table and then kisses his forehead. 

He considers for a moment if he should stay, but then thinks he wouldn’t want to impose, so he decides to go home.

He’s almost out the door when Amber yells out to him. “Where you off to, Louis?”

He walks back into the living area. “Harry fell asleep, so I’m gonna head home.”

“You can stay,” Liam chimes in. “I’m sure he’d want you to stay.”

“Nah, he doesn’t need me bothering him when he’s tired. I’ll see him tomorrow.” Louis gets a text and looks at his phone in his hand, smiling.

Joey: Can’t wait to see you

“That Harry awake already?” Liam asks.

Louis blushes. “No, it’s um… Do you know Joey? Joey Hunter?”

Liam stops smiling and nods. “Yeah, I know Joey. I have English Lit with him. Good guy.”

“Yeah he is. Anyway, have a good night; see you both soon.” Louis waves as he leaves.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Louis: Can’t wait to see you too

Joey: You could see me sooner. Are you free this Friday?

Louis: I can’t. Promised Kelly I’d hang with her on Friday. She needs my help with something. Can’t get out of it

Joey: ☹️ Guess I’ll just have to see you in my dreams instead

Louis scrunches his nose as he reads Joey’s message over again. He’s flattered, even if it’s a bit corny. He thinks about how good looking Joey is and how nice he is, and then his mind is flooded with how gorgeous Harry is. His heart starts to race, and in an effort to push those feelings away, he decides to reply to Joey with something really forward.

Louis: Do I suck your dick in your dreams too? Because I have a feeling dreams will become reality soon. 😛

Joey: You tease! Can’t wait for next weekend.

Louis chucks his phone on his bed and starts to get undressed to shower. He takes his time and has a good wank, Harry got him all worked up after all.

After he’s had some dinner and is setting up something on Netflix to watch, he hears his phone ding. He smirks to himself, proud that Joey is still thinking about him.

Harry: u left?

Louis: Haha, you were asleep.

Harry: 😞

Louis: Raincheck. Eat my ass tomorrow? 😋

Harry: speaking of eating. there’s this new thai place I wanna try. u wanna come with tomorrow?

Louis: Sure, sounds good. What time?

Harry: meet me at mine at 4?

Louis: 👍

When Louis arrives at Harry’s house at 3:30 p.m., he’s surprised to see Harry sitting out the front waiting for him. He appears to be dressed up, wearing black jeans, boots, and a flowy button up top half undone. He smiles softly when he sees Louis approaching.

“Hi,” Harry says.

“Hi,” Louis replies, sitting down next to Harry. “Sorry, I’m early.”

Surprisingly, Harry reaches for his hand, threading their fingers, and then kisses it. “You don’t have to apologise for giving me more of your time. I love spending time with you.”

“You mean you love having sex on tap. Not that we’ve actually had sex yet.”

Harry’s hand goes slack, and he turns towards Louis. “What? Have I made you feel that way? Louis, I’m so sorry; that’s not what I think of you. Trust me.” He huffs a humourless laugh.

“I didn’t mean to imply you didn’t care. I was just joking.”

Harry seems to be studying his face. “Also, Lou, we have been having sex. Everything we’ve done is sex. You know that, right?”

Louis feels heat crawl up his neck and settle in his cheeks. He’s embarrassed. Has this all been sex and he’s not realised? He thought it only counted when he took a dick or when someone else took his. “Um, I guess. Doesn’t matter. Forget I said it.”

Harry rests his finger under Louis’ chin and tilts his head up. “Hey, it’s okay,” Harry says, then lightly kisses Louis’ lips. Louis’ eyes flutter closed, and his belly erupts in butterflies. He’s so fucked.

Harry pulls back and says, “You hungry, Lou?” He brushes his fingers over Louis’ cheek and sighs before looking back out at the road.

Louis clears his throat. “Yeah, I could eat.”

On their walk to the Thai restaurant, Harry silently grabs Louis’ hand again and links them together. He’s not sure why Harry is being so publicly affectionate, and in the back of his head, he knows this isn’t normal for the casual nature of their friendship, but he can’t bring himself to call Harry out on it because it just feels so nice .

When they get to the restaurant, it’s closed. There’s a sign on the door that says they open at 5 p.m. for dinner. Adorably, Harry starts to panic. “I’m sorry, Lou. I didn’t know. I just thought they would be open. Aren’t restaurants meant to just be open? How do they make money if they aren’t open?” He runs his fingers through his curls.

Louis laughs. “Restaurants close, Harry. It’s pretty normal. We can just come back at five.”

“But… But the plan. Fuck, what do I do now? I had it planned.”

“What are you talking about? It’s fine; plans change. We can come back later. Let’s go grab a pint while we wait, yeah?”

Harry drops his arms down to his side, and his shoulders slump. “Okay.”

Not far from the restaurant, they find a cosy little pub. It’s all wooden bars and stools, pool tables, and a small outdoor area for the smokers. Louis is stinging for a smoke, so he decides to nip out. “Can you grab me a Stella? Just gonna pop out for a smoke.”

“Oh, yeah, sure thing, Lou.” Harry reluctantly lets go of Louis’ hand, and Louis ducks outside, lighting his smoke as soon as the door shuts behind him.

He uses the quiet time to contemplate what Harry said earlier. If everything they have done so far counts as sex, then is he no longer a virgin? He doesn’t feel that different. The main difference he has now is these annoying butterflies in his stomach when Harry looks at him. Or kisses him. Or touches him.

He inhales a drag of the cigarette, letting the smoke sit in his lungs for a moment before exhaling it out like expelling the demons from inside. It’s cathartic and meditative. 

Back inside, he finds Harry sitting in the corner, sipping his beer and looking at his phone. Louis bangs the table as he sits down. “Hey stranger,” he says, beaming at Harry. “Thanks for the pint.”

“How was your smoke?”

Louis finishes his gulp and wipes his top lip with his tongue. Harry’s eyes immediately dart to his mouth. “Enlightening,” he jokes. Harry looks confused, so he adds, “Fine, just had a little think.”

Harry pales and sits up straight. He wipes his fingers down the condensation on the side of his beer glass, looking down. “Oh yeah? Think about what?” If it weren’t for his obvious body language, Louis would be able to tell he was nervous by the wave in his voice.

“About sex.”

“Oh, um. You don’t want to have sex with me anymore?”

“No. I mean, yes. I mean, no, I wasn’t thinking that. Of course, I still want to have sex with you.” Louis takes a deep breath. “I was just thinking about if I was still…” He leans in and whispers, “A virgin.”

Harry chuckles, and his body deflates, like it let go of every tense muscle at once. “Depends how you classify it, I guess. Were you thinking you would ‘lose your virginity’ when someone fucked you or you fucked them?”

Louis squirms in his seat. He takes a drink from his beer. “Um… both? Either? I don’t know.”

“We can…” Harry looks down at the table and speaks softly. “We can do both. If… If you want… No pressure, obviously.” He coughs into his fist and takes a long drink from his glass.

Louis’ not sure how to respond; of course he wants to do both. He just didn’t think Harry would want to do both. For some reason, he had built it up in his head that Harry would only fuck him, not the other way around. So he’s shocked, in a good way. “Um. Um, yeah… that’d be… good. Yeah.” He feels that same heat on his face, and he tries to wipe it away with the sleeve of his grey jumper.

The two of them order another round of pints, then another, and by the time five hits they are both on the drunker side of tipsy, having not eaten yet. They giggle on their walk to the restaurant and bump into each other along the way. Louis has the thought again that he feels happy, Harry makes him happy.

Their food doesn’t take long, and they share everything. Louis leans over and snags some of the chicken off Harry’s plate, and Harry takes some of Louis’ noodles. They sit next to each other rather than across from each other, as it just feels more natural, causing them to direct their conversation at the table between mouthfuls rather than at each other’s faces.

“Heyyyyy, that was my last cashew!” Harry says.

“Too bad! Good thing I’m cute.” Louis gives Harry a big, nose-scrunching smile and bumps his shoulder.

“You are,” Harry says wistfully.

They talk about school and what Louis’ researching, and they talk about Harry’s passion for baking. They laugh and smile, and it’s just the perfect date.

No, not a date. Friend hang. Yeah.

Harry signals the waiter for the check, and Louis gets his phone out to transfer Harry some money. He has a message from Joey there as soon as his screen lights up; luckily, Harry didn’t see it, and Louis swipes it away before he does. He’s not sure why he’s worried about Harry seeing him talk to Joey; he knows the situation after all, but he just doesn’t want to potentially ruin this perfect day.

Harry pays for the meal and refuses Louis’ money. “It’s my treat. I wanted to take you somewhere nice. I missed you. Please, let me.”

Louis relents, and they step outside the restaurant into the cold night air. Louis shivers, and Harry takes his scarf, wrapping it around Louis’ neck. “Can’t have you getting cold,” he says, and smiles. Louis’ entire body lights up.

“So, um, do you wanna come back to mine?” Louis asks, hopeful that Harry’s on the same page.

“Oh, um, actually, I thought we could go to the movies. I found this indie theatre in town that’s showing a rerun of Grease, and I know you love that movie, so I thought we could go see it. My treat, of course.”

“You paid for drinks. And dinner, I can’t let you pay for the movie too.”

Harry frowns. “But I asked you out, to, like, hang. It’s only fair that I pay.”

“Okay, if you insist. I’ll pay you back in other ways.” He raises his eyebrows and sticks the tip of his tongue out between his teeth. “That is, if you want to come back to mine after the movie?”

“You won’t be able to stop me,” Harry says, and sweeps his arm around Louis’ waist, scooping him close and then pressing him against the side of the building they’re walking past. “I’ll always want to,” he whispers, and then kisses Louis fiercely, both hands cradling his cheeks.

Louis gets a bit lost in it, forgetting where they are, and starts to moan. Harry presses against him harder, their rapidly growing cocks brushing against each other’s. Harry parts the kiss and rests his forehead against Louis’, breathing against his face. “Fuck,” he says, and then steps back, adjusting himself in his pants.

“Yeah,” is all Louis can say.

They continue on to the theatre and get their tickets and drinks, forgoing the popcorn as they are both so full already. Their seats are up the back in the far right corner. Louis takes the one against the wall and Harry crowds him in. Harry lifts the arm rest between them, citing that it digs into him and is uncomfortable. He puts his arm behind Louis on the back of his seat, and it slowly makes its way down and onto his shoulders, and his fingers into the hair on the nape of his neck, throughout the course of the movie.

Louis can hardly concentrate on the movie. All he can think about is Harry’s hand in his hair and his warm body pressed to Louis’ side. Every now and then, Harry leans over and kisses Louis’ cheek, or sucks on his ear lobe, or playfully bites his neck. Louis’ rock hard in his jeans, and he’s getting more and more turned on by the second.

“Wanna get out of here?” he whispers to Harry about three quarters of the way into the movie.

Harry stops touching Louis altogether and sits up. “Sorry, I’ll stop if it’s making you uncomfortable. I didn’t even realise I was doing it.”

“No, you idiot. Do you wanna get out of here?" Louis says, emphasising the last part and punctuating his intentions with a kiss.

“Ohhhhh.” Harry leaps up and grabs Louis’ hand. His empty drink cup goes rattling down to the row in front, and they run out of the theatre laughing.

Louis is giddy; this has been one of the best days of his life. He really missed his friend, and he’s so glad they are back in each other's lives. Even though the nature of that is going to change soon.

That thought sends bile up his throat and makes nausea settle in his stomach.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Bang. The door closes loudly.

Thump. Louis is roughly thrown up against it.

“Mmmphh,” Louis moans, legs wrapped around Harry’s waist. Harry kisses him harder. His hands are seemingly everywhere. Suddenly, clothes feel too restrictive. 

Louis messes up Harry’s hair, trying to get him closer, trying to feel more. He can’t seem to get enough.

Somehow, Harry has the presence of mind to pull away from Louis. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts some slow music, the sound filling the space. 

Louis reaches out and starts to unbutton Harry’s top, darting his eyes between the stubborn buttons and Harry’s face. Harry’s mouth is open and his lips are shiny and red. His cheeks are flushed, and his pupils are blown. Louis runs his hands up Harry’s abs, over his pecks, and then slides the shirt off. Harry shivers and undoes his jeans, stepping out of them. He’s not wearing underwear.

Louis is still fully clothed, and Harry is standing naked in front of him. It feels symbolic, and he’s not sure why. He stays like that for a moment, drinking Harry in. His lean torso that leads down into the muscular V shape, paired with the laurel tattoos on his hips, they’re like arrows pointing at his dick, and Louis can’t help but look. His cock is red and hard, standing straight out. His thighs are thick and creamy, and Louis wants to touch them, like now. Then Harry whines that Louis isn’t naked yet, and he chuckles as he gets his arm caught taking his jumper and t-shirt off.

He rushes out of his jeans and boxers, and as soon as he’s standing back up again, Harry is on him. Their naked bodies’ rubbing against each other. Louis can feel skin everywhere, and it’s making him feel drunk. 

“On the bed, on your belly,” Harry commands.

Louis climbs on the bed and presses his flushed cheek against the cool pillowcase, getting two seconds of relief before it heats up. Harry shoves a pillow under Louis’ hips and pulls his dick and balls back so they are hanging behind the pillow between his legs rather than smooshed against it.

Harry sucks one of Louis’ balls into his mouth, and the sensation is so sudden and shocking that Louis gasps and lets out a guttural moan. Harry keeps lightly sucking his balls, one and then the other. Louis does his best not to squirm.

Harry taps the inside of Louis’ thighs, urging him to spread his legs wider, and then he pulls Louis’ cheeks apart. He doesn’t do anything other than that. Just lets them close again, then pulls them apart. Each time he pulls them apart, the cold air hits Louis’ hole. The anticipation is turning him on so much that he’s starting to lose track of anything other than the air on his hole and Harry’s hands on his cheeks. The pattern continues, so he’s shocked into a loud gasp again when Harry pulls his cheeks apart and then buries his face in them, licking a broad stripe over his rim.

“Fuck, oh my God, Harry, fuck,” Louis babbles.

Harry seems to ignore him and continues on his mission. He starts slowly, the tip of his tongue dancing around the rim in small little licks. Teasing, making Louis want more. This feels like it goes on for hours, but it’s probably minutes. Louis gets close to orgasm, and Harry stops, kissing his ass cheek.

He then starts again, this time with big strokes, from his balls all the way up, and laps at his hole like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. 

Louis is almost crying. The experience is out-of-body, he’s never felt this good. How does everyone not know about this? He pushes his ass back, asking, pleading—begging for more, Harry, more.

Harry stops licking again and sits back on his elbow. He runs the ghost of his finger gently over Louis’ hole, tickling and making him fidget. Harry blows on it too and then spits, letting the saliva run down Louis’ crack and landing on his dick and balls. Louis shivers at the feeling. It feels dirty and possessive, like he belongs to Harry, and the thought fills him with a warmth he wasn’t expecting.

“You feel amazing,” Harry says with a faraway tone. “Even better than I’ve always imagined.” He plunges back in and starts sucking. He’s fucking sucking on Louis’ rim, and the feeling is so overwhelming that Louis can’t even hold back anymore.

“Haz, I’m gonna…” Harry keeps sucking, and with his other hand, he grabs Louis’ cock, giving it a light squeeze and tug. “Fuck… ahhhh… mmpphh.” He comes, shooting out behind him somewhere, probably all over Harry and the bed. “Fuck, holy shit, fuck,” he pants as he ruts against the bed.

Harry runs his finger over Louis’ rim one more time before pulling away, giving both ass cheeks a light spank as he does. “Was that good, baby?” he says as he settles on his back next to Louis, wiping his chin with his hand.

“Good?” Louis breathes. “That was probably the best thing I’ve ever experienced.” He lets out a breathy laugh. “Did you come?”

“Not yet.”

Louis starts to move for the first time, but Harry stops him. “What?” Louis asks.

Harry looks a bit shy as he says, “Can I come on your ass?”

Louis’ a little confused why he would ask that. He feels they are beyond things like that, and Harry has free reign to do whatever he wants with Louis’ body. But maybe Harry doesn’t realise that. “Yeah, go for it. Can I do anything to help?”

“Can you, um… no, no, it’s fine,” Harry starts and then looks away.

“No, what is it? Tell me, please.”

“Can you just talk to me as I wank, like, tell me how you liked it, like me?” Harry’s not even looking at him as he asks; in fact, his eyes are closed.

“Haz, of course, that was amazing. You’re amazing. I love it.”

Harry’s eyes snap open, and he looks at Louis. “I… okay.” He gets up and moves down the bed, sitting on his heels between Louis’ spread thighs. He parts Louis’ cheeks with one hand and seems to be struggling. “Can you hold your cheeks apart for me, baby?”

“Yeah, love.” Louis brings both hands down and around and pulls his cheeks apart. He feels exposed and viewed, and the feeling has him surprisingly starting to get hard again.

“Yeah, fuck,” Harry whispers and starts to jerk off. The head of Harry’s cock is right against his hole. Louis feels it bump into him every few tugs. “Tell me,” Harry breathes out. “Tell me how you like it.”

“You feel so good, Haz. The best thing ever. I love when you touch me. You always make me feel so good; you’re so—”

Harry comes with a loud grunt, spurting hot come all over Louis’ hole. The tip of his dick is pressed right against him at one point, and Louis thinks Harry is about to fuck him. Louis can feel the come painted up his back and running down his crack. It’s even better than when Harry spat on him. This feels like a deeper kind of possession, and Louis wants it again.

He lets go of his cheeks, and they grab Harry’s spent dick that’s still nestled in his crack. Harry falls forward onto Louis’ back and kisses the back of his neck, brushing the hair away from the side of his face. “Thank you,” he says into the soft skin of Louis’ neck, “for that.”

After a long few moments to catch his breath and time to rest, Harry gets up and goes to the bathroom, returning with a cloth and wiping Louis up. As he does, he registers that Louis is half hard again and becoming harder as Harry cleans him. “Is this turning you on?” he asks while giggling.

“I like it when you look after me,” he says, turning his face towards the wall so Harry won’t see his feelings all over his face. “It’s nice, I mean, when you touch me like that.”

Harry disappears again and then climbs onto the bed next to Louis. “Lou… turn over.”

Louis does, but he keeps his eyes closed; he doesn’t want to see Harry reading him. He’d rather live in ignorant bliss that his feelings aren’t easily accessible to anyone with eyes. Next minute, he feels Harry’s lips lightly on his, he kisses back, and the butterflies return. A tear runs down the side of his face before he has time to stop it.

Harry ruts up against him, taking both of their dicks in his hand and jerking them slowly. They stay like that, glued together, kissing while Harry jerks them off. It’s soft and it’s intimate, giving Louis time to reflect. He wishes he could stay in this moment forever, the feel of Harry pressed against him, the quiet moans filtering out of his mouth, and the utter feeling of contentment and happiness growing within him.

Louis comes first again, but Harry’s not far behind. After Harry cleans them up a second time, Louis pushes Harry onto his side and wraps himself around him. He wants to hold him and not let go.

“Do you mind if I hold you tonight?” Louis asks tentatively.

It sounds like Harry sniffles, and he just lets out a meek, “Okay, yeah,” and clutches onto Louis’ arm on his chest, kissing his fingers and saying, “Night, Little Lou.”

“Night, love.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

“He still hasn’t fucked you? Jesus, LouLou, what’s taking him so long? Or you so long?” Kelly says as she sips her smoothie.

Louis takes a bite of his scrambled eggs, swallowing quickly and setting his knife and fork down. “Fucks sake, Kel, keep your voice down, we’re in public.” He pauses to look around the cafe and see if anyone heard them. No one is looking their way, so he continues. “It’s not like that. Everything we do is incredible, and I feel amazing, and honestly, why did I wait so long to do anything sex related? Because, holy shit, I didn’t know it could feel like that. Have you ever had someone eat your ass? Because if not, I’m telling you, you’re missing out.”

“Oooo, listen to you, talking about sex like you’re the expert now,” she teases.

“Hardly, but yeah, we’ll get there, I think. He wants to, at least, he told me.” Louis blushes a little as he smiles, remembering what Harry had said to him at the pub yesterday. “Plus, I’m pretty sure he wanted to do that last night, but we were both so spent after the… well, you know.” He raises his eyebrows and takes another bite of eggs.

“What about this morning?”

Louis sighs. "Well, I had plans to come meet you, didn’t I? Not like I could message you and say, ‘gee sorry, best friend, gonna skip our planned breakfast so I can get pounded for the first time by my platonic mate,’ could I?”

“Fair,” she says around her straw. “Are we done talking about you now? I have news!”

Louis looks up at her, curious. “News?”

“Yeah. You know that guy, Niall, I was telling you about? The Irish one. He’s throwing a party at his house tonight, and he invited me—well, us. I asked if I could bring a friend. This might be my chance; you’ve gotta come wingman for me.”

“‘Course babes,” Louis says, and then takes a drink of room temperature water. “Ugh, needs ice.” He grimaces at the glass.

“You’re such a baby. And thank you! Now, what should I wear?”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Louis and Kelly walk to the house party later that night after parking a few streets over. Louis doesn’t plan on getting drunk tonight, so he’s prepared to be the designated driver to give Kelly her shot at winning Niall over. It’s cold, and Louis’ cursing himself for not wearing a warmer jacket. Somehow, Kelly has that magic girl warmth where they can wear skin tight short dresses and not feel the cold. She’s got on a tight black dress that stops mid thigh, a faux-fur puffy jacket, and her auburn hair is stylishly curled and falling down her back. She looks stunning.

“You look great, Kel. Niall’s gonna eat his heart out.”

“You think? I’m so nervous, LouLou.” The sound of her heels clip-clopping on the ground as they walk echoes throughout the street. As they round the corner, they hear some music and can see people milling about on the lawn.

Louis puts his arm around her and squeezes her hip.

When they walk into the house, the party is already raging. There are people everywhere. 

Kelly elbows Louis. “There he is!” she says, pointing at what must be Niall.

“Why is he wearing a bright orange top with red chickens on it?”

“Shut up, he’s colourblind Louis. Leave him alone, he looks handsome,” she says, smiling. “I’m going to go say hello, you’ll be alright?” she asks with her hand on Louis’ elbow.

Louis nods. “Yep, go get ‘em tiger. I’ll be fine.”

Kelly takes off in Niall’s direction and Louis heads towards the kitchen to find a drink. Just one. He’s not going to go overboard.

He gets himself a beer and then moves onto the back patio to have a smoke. There’s no one else out there other than an incredibly good looking guy with black hair.

Louis gives him the ‘sup’ nod, tilting his chin up. “Hey,” he says.

“‘Sup?”

Louis lights his cigarette, pockets his lighter, and then stretches his hand out. “I’m Louis.”

“Zayn,” the stranger says, taking Louis’ hand and shaking it. “How do you fit into all this?” he says, gesturing with his hand towards the house where the party is.

Louis inhales on his cigarette and then starts replying before exhaling fully, letting little puffs of smoke out with his words. “My best friend, Kelly. She’s after one of the guys here. I’m designated driver and backup.” He laughs and then says, “You?”

“Friends with Liam and Amber, mostly. Do you know ‘em?”

Louis feels nervous talking about people so close to Harry. “Ahh, yeah. We’ve met a couple of times."

Zayn turns around and leans his back on the railing, taking a drag of his cigarette. He gives Louis a once over then says, "I used to date Amber, until I came out. We laugh about it now. Still good friends with her.”

Louis didn’t realise Zayn was gay, and now he’s thinking his gaydar is faulty. “Came out…”

Zayn laughs. “Yep, gay as they can be. But so are you,” he says pointedly while looking directly into Louis’ eyes.

“Um, yeah. What makes you say that, though?”

“Your cheekbones…” Louis looks at him with his mouth hanging open, and Zayn belly laughs. “Joking. mate. Liam actually mentioned something about Harry dating a guy named Louis. Considering I know it’s not Amber’s brother, I took a wild guess. Am I right?”

Louis blows out a dramatic breath. “Yeah, that’s me. Except we’re not dating; we’re just friends.”

“Oh, okay. I thought… you know what? Never mind.”

“Is he, um, is he here tonight, do you know?”

Zayn blows out a puff of smoke and smirks at him. “Just friends, then? Yeah, mate, he’s here. Anyway, it was nice to meet you; see you ‘round, yeah?”

“Oh, um, yeah. Nice to meet you too.” Louis sticks out his hand again for another shake, and Zayn complies.

Finishing up his cigarette and then promptly going inside because it’s cold, Louis is a little wary now that he knows Harry is there. He hadn’t even considered that maybe he would be there, so he hadn’t prepared for it. It’s not that he’s afraid of Harry, he just doesn't know how to act around him in a situation like this. Is he meant to ignore him? Would he want him to come say hi? 

He’s standing there overthinking everything when a few people move away from the lounge area, creating a gap, and Louis spots Harry sitting on the couch laughing, except that he’s not alone. There’s a girl sitting on his lap, and Harry’s arm is tightly around her waist. She ducks down and kisses his cheek, and Louis feels his entire stomach drop.

A burning feeling starts in his chest, and he can sense tears coming to his eyelids. He swallows down the evident jealousy and tells himself that it’s fine; it’s not his right to be jealous; Harry doesn’t belong to him anyway.

Still, he can’t look away. Harry is talking to a guy next to him, and the girl on his lap throws her head back and laughs. She places her palm on Harry’s cheek and turns his face towards her. He looks up at her, readjusting his grip on her hip, and smiles. She leans down to whisper something in his ear, and Louis feels like his entire world is crashing down around him. Are they together? Does Harry have a girlfriend now?

He can’t move. As much as he wants to storm out of the house and never talk to Harry again, he can't. And worst of all, he doesn’t even have a good reason. He knows he was the one who started this agreement the way it was, and it’s not Harry’s fault that Louis couldn’t keep his fucking feelings out of it. He feels pathetic and used, even if that’s not fair to think.

He needs a drink. Fuck being the designated driver, they can Uber.

He tears his gaze away from the girl whispering in Harry’s ear, long enough to move to the kitchen. He finds a bottle of vodka on the table and decides to forego the glass; what use is that anyway?

He steps outside and takes a long chug, as long as he can stand, and then starts to cough violently, spilling vodka over his chin. He wipes off his face, lights another cigarette, and starts pacing the balcony, taking swigs in between drags.

Right, so. He should end it with Harry, then. It’s too much, clearly. And obviously Harry doesn’t feel the same, not if he’s got girls hanging all over him or a new girlfriend, and he didn’t even bother to tell Louis. Maybe Louis was right, and Harry just liked having sex on tap. Harry’s a good actor; Louis will give him that. He was truly starting to believe that maybe there could be something there. He made him feel special. Maybe that’s part of Harry’s charm and why he’s been with so many people yet no one speaks ill of him. Now Louis feels even more dumb that he fell for it. 

He takes another swig and has a drag on his cigarette, then his phone vibrates in his pocket. He places the vodka on the flat wooden railing and gets his phone out. The vodka starting to take effect and warm him.

Kelly: Niall said I could stay the night with him! It’s working!!! 💦 You’re off the hook. Love you, LouLou. 🧡

Louis can’t deal with that now. He’s happy for Kelly, but his mind is reeling, and his hands are shaking. He’s about to put his phone away when he gets another text. He squints at the screen.

Joey: Look up 😅

Louis is confused but looks up from his phone and looks through the glass door, seeing Joey standing inside, waving at him with that stupid, cute smile on his face.

He pockets his phone, takes another big gulp of the vodka, and goes inside.

“Hey, you,” he says as he approaches Joey. He stumbles on the last step, almost losing his balance completely.

“Hey, Louis. I didn’t know you’d be here tonight. What a nice surprise.”

Louis all of a sudden feels the vodka hit him. Things are a little out of focus and he’s feeling good. He gets the idea that if Harry is going to do it, Louis can too. He smirks at Joey and rests his hands on his chest. “I’m full of surprises,” he says, adding gravel to his voice.

Joey has to lean down to hear Louis, as he’s over 6’ as opposed to Louis’ 5’9”, and the party is loud. 

“I’m looking forward to discovering them,” he says right in Louis’ ear. As he’s whispering it, Louis makes eye contact with Harry across the room.

The girl is no longer on Harry’s lap; in fact, he’s now sitting with Liam, Amber, and Zayn. His face turns from a smile to serious when he sees Louis. Good, he thinks. How do you like it?

Feeling bold and reckless, Louis escalates things. “Some of them are hidden, you’ll have to search me to find them,” he says flirtatiously.

Joey grabs Louis by his hand and leads him over to a couch not too far from where Harry and the others are. “I’m so glad I finally asked you out; I’ve been into you for months,” Joey says quietly to Louis. Louis’ not looking at Joey though, he’s still in an eyelock with Harry. Harry breaks it by getting up and walking out of the room. Liam and Amber glance over to Louis, followed by Zayn, and now Louis is angry. Why is he being looked at like he’s the bad person?

He looks back at Joey and decides to just engage in conversation with him; he’s the safer bet anyway. They still have their date next weekend, after all, and Joey is a nice guy. “I am too,” he says. “Glad you had the balls to do it because I didn’t.” Louis laughs.

Joey puts his hand on Louis’ knee, and the two of them talk for a little while. After about thirty minutes, Harry comes back into the room, and Louis both tenses and relaxes because of it. The girl from before is with Harry again, and she’s linked their fingers loosely. Louis feels that fire under his skin again.

Harry looks sad for some reason, his face is withdrawn, and he’s not as animated as before. The girl sits in between his legs on the couch with her back pressed against his chest. She’s resting her head on his shoulder, and his hand is splayed over her belly. Is this what heartbreak feels like? Louis wonders.

He takes another big gulp of the vodka, having drunk almost half the bottle by now. He’s lost all rational thought, so he surges forward and kisses Joey. He keeps his eyes open and on Harry.

It’s wrong. All of it is wrong. His lips are wrong, his smell is wrong, and his skin is wrong. Louis feels awful, and he’s not enjoying it. Joey tries to deepen the kiss, and Louis pulls away, playing it off as coy and flirty. When he looks over at the couch again, all of them are gone. 

“Sorry, I’m not… feeling well, I have to go. I’ll see you later, Joey,” Louis says, jumping up from the couch and out of Joey’s arms.

“Are you going to be okay to get home? Let me take you—”

“No!” Louis cuts him off. “I’ll be fine, thanks.”

Louis stumbles out of the house, dropping the bottle of vodka in the bushes out the front. He gets a few steps down the driveway and then vomits in the nice rose garden lining the front of the house. He feels sick, not because of the vodka—though that’s not helping—but because it stupidly feels like he cheated on Harry. On a guy who is only helping him out, a friend who never agreed to more than sex. Mostly, Louis feels like an idiot, so he decides to walk home, even if the walk is over an hour. He’ll come back for his car tomorrow.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Chapter Text

What a fucking night!

What a fucking idiot!

Why did Harry agree to this again?

Harry, Zoe, Liam, Amber, and Zayn are all sitting in the park across from the kebab shop, smoking a joint. They all left with Harry when he saw Louis kissing Joey. It was too much. He just couldn’t do it to himself any longer. Liam was the one who pushed him to leave. “C’mon Harry, let’s get kebabs and smoke a joint. You don’t need to watch this shit. Forget about him,” he’d said.

"Alright, babes, I’m off. Wifey is home from work,” Zoe says, standing up to leave. Harry’s been friends with Zoe for around two years now; she was his first queer friend that he made in uni and they have remained close ever since. She met her girlfriend about six months after she became friends with Harry, and he helped her win her over. She’s been forever grateful.

Harry puckers his lips, and she leans down and smacks one on him. "Bye, Zo, say hi to River for me.”

“Will do.” She leans in close to him and says, “Forget about him, okay? He’s not worth it, not if he makes you feel like this. You deserve the world, Harry. Make sure you get it.”

Harry just nods his head and looks at his lap. “Thanks, Zo.”

Everyone says a collective goodbye, and Zoe leaves. Liam passes Harry the joint, and he takes a long inhale. After he exhales, he takes another drag and then passes it to Amber, who is sitting in between Liam’s legs.

“I know you love him, Haz. But it’s hurting you. You guys said it was casual, but he shouldn’t go flaunting it in front of you; that’s just cruel,” Amber says. “I thought he was nicer than this. Hell, I thought he was in love with you too.”

“I know, guys. Can we just not talk about him anymore, please?"

Harry lays back in the cold, dewy grass and closes his eyes. He’s inundated with the image of Louis kissing Joey, but his eyes were on Harry. Why did Louis keep his eyes open? Maybe he does with Harry too.

Harry breathes deeply, trying to get the love in his heart to simmer down. He wonders why he isn’t enough for Louis—why he’s never been enough for him, even when he was twelve years old, and he plucked up the courage to ask him to kiss him. He was rejected then, and he’s rejected now. Except that the pain is worse now because this love has been building for over nine years, and now he’s had an actual taste. 

It’s so much worse now.

“Harry?” Zayn says.

“Hmm?” he hums back from the ground.

“You might want to sit up, we have a visitor.”

Harry opens his eyes and, for a moment, forgets where he is. Outside. Dark sky. Park. He sits up and says, “What do you mean?”

Zayn points behind him, and Harry turns around. A few feet away, a very drunk Louis is stumbling towards them. “Hey, heyyyyy, do you guys know where the pub is? I need to go to the pub,” he slurs.

"Bro, he’s wasted, you have to help him,” Liam says quietly.

Harry leaps to his feet and moves towards Louis. “What are you doing here, Louis?”

“Harry? Is that Harry?” he yells. Then, softer under his breath, he says, “No, Harry doesn’t call me Louis. It’s not Harry. You’re hallucinating, Louis.” Harry still hears him; he probably thinks he’s thinking that, not that he said it out loud.

“Little Lou?” Harry tries, getting his phone out to turn on the flashlight.

He lights up the ground, and like a moth to a flame, Louis walks right into it and up to Harry. “Harry!” he says and throws his arms around him. “Where’s your girlfriend?”

“What’s his address, Haz?” Amber calls out from behind Harry.

“I’m sorry, Harry’s girlfriend!” Louis shouts. “I’m not gonna take him; he doesn’t even want me any—”

“Okay, that’s enough, c’mon Lou.” Harry pulls Louis into his arms and hugs him. “Shh.”

Harry gives Amber Louis’ address, and an Uber is coming in two minutes to take them back to Louis’ flat. He gives his friends a wave and then walks Louis up to the road to get in the Uber.

“I stole your boyfriend! You’re very pretty!” Louis screams back at Harry’s friends as they walk, and Harry shushes him again.

He manages to pacify Louis for the car ride by gripping his knee. He watches him stare at Harry’s hand, smiling for a while. “It’s not wrong…” Louis whispers to himself.

They get up the stairs of Louis’ flat with great difficulty and two near falls, and Louis drops his keys when trying to unlock the door, which makes him laugh and fall to the ground like a ragdoll. Harry picks them up and unlocks the door, then scoops Louis up and places him on the bed.

Harry closes and locks the door, puts the keys on the hook on the wall, and starts to take Louis’ shoes off. Once he’s done with his shoes and socks, he pulls his vomit-covered jumper and t-shirt off, balling them up to wash.

“You’re getting me naked. Are you gonna fuck me, ‘arry?”

Harry laughs at that. “No, Lou, I’m not going to fuck you when you’re so drunk you won’t even remember. I want it to be more than that.”

Louis giggles and starts trying to take Harry’s clothes off as Harry undoes Louis’ jeans. Harry grabs his hands and removes them from his body. “Not like this, please.”

Louis’ ignoring him, and without realising, Harry’s being pulled onto the bed with a huff. Louis’ on top of him and grinding, and Harry forcefully flips them so he can get off the bed and stop Louis from doing something he’ll regret.

“You don’t want me,” Louis says sadly. “Why don’t you want me?”

“Jesus Christ, Lou, how fucking drunk are you? Did you drink an entire bottle of vodka?”

Louis holds up his index finger and thumb in a pinch symbol and giggles. He then suddenly doesn’t look well and covers his mouth. Harry grabs him and rushes him to the bathroom, just in time for him to be sick in the toilet. He waits by him as he’s sick and pats his back. When he’s done, he hands him a wet cloth to wipe himself.

“Time for bed, Lou. C’mon.”

Harry pulls Louis to his feet and slides his jeans off, noting where they are to add to the pile of clothes that need to be washed. He gives him some water and tells him to drink, then puts him in bed and kisses his forehead.

Louis’ eyes are closed, and his mouth is parted against the pillow. “Don’t leave me,” he says.

“Never, Lou. I’ll never leave you.” Harry realises in that moment how true that statement is. He can’t walk away. He can’t leave him. Louis is everything to him.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry didn’t sleep at all last night. He just laid next to Louis and watched him sleep. He was worried he might choke on his vomit. He’s heard drunk people do that, and he wouldn’t want to be the reason Louis died! Harry watched him take breaths all night, and occasionally he ran his fingers over his cheek.

Louis is just so beautiful. Harry’s never seen anyone quite as beautiful as he is. His crystal blue eyes, high cheekbones, and perfect fluffy hair. Not to mention his soft, tan skin. But all of that pales in comparison to the beauty inside Louis. He’s kind, and he’s smart. He’s loving and fiercely loyal. Harry’s so irrevocably in love with him that he doesn’t even know what life feels like not carrying that.

“I’m so fucking in love with you, Lou,” he whispers to an unconscious Louis.

Louis stirs around 6 a.m., and Harry takes the opportunity to wake him up. “Lou,” he says gently. “Lou, baby.”

“Hmm,” he groans.

“Lou, I need to go. I have football practice. I’ve left water and a couple ibuprofen on your desk here, make sure you take them. Now would be best. I’ll text you later, okay?”

Louis grunts again, and Harry takes that as a cue to leave, making sure to grab the bag with Louis’ spoiled clothes to wash. When he’s at the door, he turns and says, “Take the tablets, Little Lou. And drink the water.”

Louis just says, “Don’t cal…” which makes Harry laugh as he leaves.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry’s exhausted when he walks into the locker room an hour later. He’s so tired, and he’s feeling the effects of drinking and smoking weed, as well as not sleeping. He thought he could get away with it, maybe, until the other guys started showing up and noticing immediately.

“Yo, captain, what the fuck happened to you?” Toby says as he walks past Harry to his locker.

“Didn’t sleep,” he mumbles.

“Fuck yeah! Did you finally give it to your boy? Or did he give it to you?” Toby pokes his tongue out.

“Fuck off. That’s not what happened. Just had to look after a friend. And… and he’s not my boy, so cut that shit out.” He gives Toby a stern look.

Corey, Liam, and Jonny walk in, chatting amongst themselves, and unfortunately, Corey’s the first to speak to him.

“Fuck, you look like shit. No rest for the wicked then?”

Harry groans and puts his head in his hands. “Something like that.” He feels a hand on his shoulder, so he looks up, and it’s Liam.

“Hey, you okay?” he says softly.

Harry gives him a weak smile. “Yeah, didn’t sleep. I stayed up all night to make sure he didn’t die.”

“Did you guys talk at all?”

“Nah. He was way too wasted to say anything of substance. He kept trying to get me to fuck him so clearly he wasn’t of sound mind.” Harry pauses and looks at the ground. “I just… I thought he knew, like he could see how obviously in love with him I am. And I just thought that he was choosing me, you know? Like, I get how this started, but he hadn’t even mentioned Joey in ages, and... I dunno.” He shrugs. “I thought maybe he’d quietly chosen me. Stupid, I know. But I’m not the brightest, am I?”

“Don’t say that, mate, you’re not stupid.”

“Thanks, Li. I know I am, though. Even more so now. I’ll find a way... to get over him.”

Liam looks at him seriously. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think if you truly want to get over him, you need to end it. You can’t keep fooling around with him and expect your feelings to get less. You know?”

Harry sighs. "Yeah, you’re right. I’ll um…” He chokes on a lump in his throat. “I’ll end it this weekend.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

He plays terribly—not that it’s a proper game or anything—but he’s so distracted that he’s barely present for the practice game. He can’t keep his mind from wandering back to what Louis said last night, asking him not to leave and worrying that Harry didn’t want him.

Also, he seems to think Harry has a girlfriend, which is ridiculous because Harry has spent nearly every spare second he has with Louis. Who could he possibly think he’s dating? Oh. Oh, Zoe had been on his lap last night. Maybe he thinks it’s her. But she’s so clearly a lesbian; he should be able to see that, being queer himself.

It can’t be Amber, she’s with Liam. He’ll have to find out later. Or wait, no, he won't, because he’s going to end it. It doesn’t matter. Louis doesn’t feel like he does, and he’s clearly still into Joey. Harry doesn’t want to feel like second best—the backup plan. He needs to distance himself again, like he did a few years ago.

It wasn’t 100% effective, the last time that is, but it did help put a protective barrier around him. Maybe this time he’ll actually be able to move on because he won’t always wonder what if and what’s it like. Last time he also threw himself into girls, hoping the polar opposite of Louis worked; this time he’s going to try men. Maybe shorter men with a slim build, brown hair, blue eyes, and... no! He needs to choose guys that are nothing like Louis. Being with someone like him who’s not actually him is going to be too painful.

By the time footie is over, he’s got a full get-over-Louis plan.

On his way to his car—that he got Liam to drive in for him—he runs into Mandy. “Hey, Harry!”

“Hey, love, you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good! How’s things with Louis? Did he love the cookies?”

Harry’s heart clenches at the memory of the cookies he baked for Louis. Louis only ate one, but he seemed to like it, even said so.

“Yeah, he did. You were right, adding cinnamon was a good move.”

She smiles at him brightly and lightly punches his arm. “See? I told you he’d love it. The boys can’t resist homemade cookies, works every time.”

“Uh, yeah. Well, it’s over now, I guess. He kissed Joey in front of me last night, so I guess his intentions are clear.” Harry shrugs and looks at the gravel under his feet, kicking some of the little stones around.

“No way, what the fuck? He seemed so into you. You should have seen him when you were playing. He was smiling the whole time, he even made that wistful sigh sound. He sounded proper in love.”

Harry hoists his bag on his shoulder a little. “Yeah, well. Guess not. Thanks for your help, though. Really appreciate it.”

“I’m always here if you want to talk. Or drink, here for that too.” She gives him a big, tight hug and says goodbye.

The whole drive home, Harry feels like he’s in a fog. He’s so tired from having not slept, and his emotions are frayed.

He pulls up out the front of his sharehouse and lumbers his way inside, limbs feeling heavy, like he’s walking through mud. He wants a shower, and he wants to sleep. When he gets inside, Liam and Amber are on the couch already.

“What took you so long to get back? Oh, did you go to end things with Louis?” Liam asks.

“Always so weird when you say his name, makes me think you’re talking about my brother,” Amber says quietly.

Harry drops his bag and sinks onto the couch. “Louis’ your brother?” he asks, confused.

Amber giggles and kicks him. “No, silly. My brother is also called Louis. Actually, can we rename your Louis so this is less weird for me?” She thinks for a second, tapping her chin dramatically. “I know! What’s his middle name?”

“William,” Harry says without hesitation, and then frowns, sad that he remembers that so easily.

“Great, it’s settled. We will now refer to him as William.” She smiles at Liam, who kisses her in response.

“Haz? What happened?” Liam asks again, clearly concerned.

Harry sits back in the chair and rubs his eyes. “Nothing, ran into Mandy. Drove around a few times, couldn’t find the road to turn into. Too tired.”

“Do you have anything on today, or can you go sleep?” Amber asks, tilting her head in sympathy.

“Sleep.” Harry slaps his hands down on his knees. “Right, I’m off to sleep. If anyone wakes me, you’re dead.” He gets up from the couch, grabs his duffle, drops it in the laundry room to deal with later, and then trudges up the stairs to the bathroom to shower.

Once fresh, he practically collapses on his bed, and sleep hits him instantly.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

An incessant buzzing is what rouses him from his sleep, and to say he’s grumpy would be an understatement. He was enjoying his rest. He’d escaped from his feelings and thoughts, so he’s about to give an earful to whoever is calling him.

He pulls his phone off the bedside table and looks at the screen. It’s his mum.

“Hi mum,” he says groggily.

“Hi sweetheart, were you sleeping? It’s four in the afternoon, Harry,” she chastises.

“Mmm, I didn’t get much sleep last night. Was tired. How are you?” He puts the phone on speaker and rests it next to his head so he doesn’t have to hold it anymore.

She asks him about school and football and then tells him all about this new book she read in book club, and how Diane and Bill are getting a divorce. He hums along and listens.

“And I met up with Jay from down the road. You remember her, right? Louis’ mum.”

“Yeah, I remember.” Harry's muscles tighten at the mention of Louis. Worried that Louis’ mum and his mum know what’s going on and how stupid Harry’s being.

“She told me Louis’ met someone. Isn’t that lovely? He’s been going on and on about a mystery man for about two weeks now. Have you seen him around campus? Maybe you know who he’s talking about.”

Harry closes his eyes, hoping it will shut out all the emotion sitting just under the surface of his skin, making him itch. “Yea—” his voice breaks, and he clears his throat. “Yeah, um, his name is Joey. He’s a nice guy. Louis seems really into him.” He sounds flat, and he knows it, but he’s hoping he can just pass it off as being tired.

“Oh, that’s wonderful. He’s such a sweet boy. Shame you two never got together. You had such a big crush on him when you were younger.” She laughs, and Harry cringes. “Anyway, H. I best be off. Suz will be here any minute for a cuppa.”

“Okay, thanks for calling mum. Love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart. And don’t sleep all day!”

Harry laughs as he hangs up the phone, his face still smooshed into the pillow. There’s nothing quite like meant-to-be-sweet words from your mum to slice into your soul and make everything impossibly worse.

He’s about to go back to sleep, not wanting to think or feel right now, when his phone pings again. Thinking it’s his mum with some follow up photos, he grabs it with a smile on his face. The smile is quickly wiped off when he sees Louis’ name.

Louis: Hey, can you come over, want to talk.

Harry’s stomach sinks, and he bites his lip, trying to figure out what to do. If he goes over there, either he’s going to end it or Louis is. And that thought makes him want to avoid it altogether. Now that he’s actually faced with the very real possibility of this thing between them ending, he can’t seem to make himself move. He lets out a puff of air and drops the phone down onto his naked chest, heaving a big sigh. 

It’s time; he has to. He just can’t face it today. If he can get just one more day to prepare, maybe he’ll feel better. He picks his phone back up and replies.

Harry: yeah, i can come tomorrow? that ok? Around 4?

Louis: Ok, see you then

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry doesn’t buzz Louis’ door when he arrives on Sunday at 3:40 p.m. A neighbour was walking out when he arrived, so he slips into the building easily. For a moment, he has a fleeting thought about Louis’ safety if it’s so easy to get into the building, but then he shakes his head and realises it’s not his place to be protective of Louis. Louis is a grown man and can look after himself.

He stands outside Louis’ door for what has to be at least fifteen minutes, not able to bring himself to knock. He almost turns around and leaves, and then he steels himself, pulls his shoulders back, and knocks. Louis answers the door almost immediately.

“Hi,” he says to Harry. “Thanks for coming.”

“Always,” he replies, and then internally berates himself for his over the top response. ‘Always’ just sounds so keen, so smitten, so in love. Fuck.

“Come in.”

Harry steps through the door and is then slapped in the face with everything going on in Louis’ flat. There are twinkle lights everywhere—around the bed, over the drawers, and in all corners of the ceiling—all turned on and glowing, making the room dim with a warm glow and cosy. There’s a wonderful smell coming from the kitchen area that’s filling the space. Louis’ got two candles burning on his desk, his laptop is set up in the middle of the bed, and there are extra blankets and pillows lining the head of the bed.

“What’s all… Oh. Oh, do you have someone coming over or something?” Harry asks, calculating how fast he can run out of the block of flats.

Louis chuckles, and in this lighting, his eyes are shining. “You. Dumbass.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. I invited you over, remember?”

“Yeah, but then what’s all this?”

Louis blushes and turns around, walking towards the kitchen. “I, um… well, I love lights, and I’ve been meaning to put these up for ages.” He gestures to the lights all around the room, and Harry’s eyes follow where he’s pointing before landing back on Louis again. “And… and I wanted to hang out with you. Apologise for last night. I made dinner. Pasta. If you’re hungry, and, um… I thought we could watch Love Actually. Seeing as we watched Grease at the cinema, we can do your favourite movie this time.” Louis shrugs and gets two bowls out of the kitchen cupboard.

Harry swallows, and he takes this rare moment with Louis’ back to him—looking all soft, serving up pasta—to just really drink in how beautiful he looks in his grey trackies and red jumper. God, he’s everything that Harry wants, and he doesn’t know how to say no to him. His hopeless heart climbs out of his chest and pulls him forward by his metaphorical necktie, dragging him to Louis.

He wraps his arms around Louis’ waist from behind and kisses his cheek and neck. “Looks delicious, baby.”

Louis turns his head, and Harry takes the opportunity to kiss his lips, soft and chaste, like two lovers reunited after a hard day’s work. “Thank you, but maybe save the praise until after you eat it. High chance it’ll be shit. I’m a shit cook.”

“What is it?”

“Just a tomato based spaghetti, nothing fancy.” As he’s handing Harry a bowl of pasta, he says, “Oh! And garlic bread!”

Louis opens the oven and pulls out the garlic bread loaf, dropping it quickly on the heat-protective pad. “Dig in! You want a drink? Water? Coke? Beer?”

“Water’s fine, thanks, Lou.”

Harry grabs some bread and then climbs onto Louis’ bed with his bowl of pasta. He smiles to himself while waiting for Louis to join. Everything he’s ever wanted.

“Did you wanna eat first and then watch, or both at the same time?” Louis asks, finger poised over the spacebar, ready to hit play.

Harry swallows the giant mouthful of bread he was chewing, then says, “I think just eat first. I don’t want to miss any of the movie because of your loud chewing!”

They giggle and talk throughout the meal, and Harry manages to get pasta sauce all over his top, so Louis offers to loan him one to change into, which Harry happily takes. It smells like Louis, and his belly flips at how domestic this all feels.

Harry had completely forgotten what he went there to do, too swayed by Louis’ charm and the amazing meal he cooked for him. It doesn’t matter anymore, he has his man right now, and Harry doesn’t want to ruin it. Maybe he even still has a chance to win Louis over. He’s at least going to try.

“That was incredible, Lou. You can cook for me anytime.”

“Really? You’re not pulling my leg? It was actually good?”

“It was actually good. Thank you,” Harry says fondly. “Let’s watch the movie.”

Louis takes Harry’s bowl and his own and walks them to the sink, leaving them for later, it seems, as he’s back in a flash. “Just gonna…” he gestures with his thumb in the direction of the bathroom.

Harry nods, and Louis disappears. He’s gone for a solid five minutes when Harry calls out to him. “You all good, Lou?”

“Yeah. Yeah, ‘m’fine. Be back in a sec,” comes Louis’ muffled voice.

When he does come back, it’s clear he’s brushed his teeth because Harry can smell his minty toothpaste when he talks. “Lights on or off?”

“On. I like them. They’re pretty, like you.”

Louis smiles and leans over to Harry, hesitantly going for a kiss. It’s like he's worried Harry will reject him, like he could ever do that. Harry’s hands find Louis’ face, and the soft press of fleshy lips centres him. It’s not a steamy kiss; there’s no tongue. It’s soft and sweet, and Harry’s trying to put all his feelings about Louis into the kiss, hoping he can leave his secret on Louis’ lips for him to keep.

“Love Actually?” Harry asks when they part from the kiss.

“Yes,” Louis whispers. “Love. Love Actually. Yes.”

It doesn’t take long after the movie starts for Louis to cuddle up to Harry. Arranging the blankets over them so they are snug and moving the laptop so it’s balanced between both of their thighs. Harry moves his arm around Louis’ shoulders, his palm settling on his bicep. “This okay?” he asks after the shuffle.

“I don’t mind,” Louis says, smiling up at him.

Harry’s having trouble concentrating on the movie. Louis is warm where he’s pressed up against his side, and the candles are burning, filling the air with the scent of vanilla and creating a warm glow over the side of his face. He looks ethereal, and Harry wants to worship him forever. 

Harry hasn’t had sex with anyone in about a month, and the last time, he was so drunk at a party that he just laid there while she rode him. He’s loved everything that he and Louis have done so far, and he’d be happy to just be next to him, to kiss him. However, the need and desire to feel inside him and to connect them in that way is becoming harder to ignore. He’s spent so long denying himself those feelings that now that he’s allowed, he can’t get it off his mind. Can’t get him off his mind. It’s become especially hard to ignore when they are in this romantic setting, with his favourite movie playing and the man he’s been in love with since he was ten in his arms.

“What?” Louis asks with a smile, breaking Harry from his reverie.

“Hmm?” he asks.

“You’re staring at me. Why are you staring at me when the movie is there?” He points to the laptop between them.

“Maybe I just like looking at you more,” he says, cringing a little at how close it is to revealing the truth.

Louis turns and looks at Harry, their eyes darting all around each other's faces. Eye, to eye, to lips, to eyes. Louis whispers so quietly it’s hard to hear over the movie, “Maybe I like looking at you more too.”

Harry takes one more glance at Louis’ lips and then closes the distance between them. Letting out a big exhale through his nose as their mouths meet. He falls into it, letting the feeling of being close to Louis overwhelm his senses and invade his heart. He’ll never get over this—having Louis in this way. He never thought it would happen, and he’s sure that it’s all going to be ripped away from him at some point, but at least for now he can savour it.

Louis breaks the kiss, panting, and then kisses Harry again while smiling. His lips are tight from being pulled into a smile, and he tastes like joy. “One second,” he says, and then feels around for the laptop, pausing the movie. He ditches the laptop on his desk seat and turns back to Harry. “Where were we?”

Harry lays Louis down, careful to direct his head onto the pillows, and gently rests on top of him. He lines their bodies up, softly kissing him the whole time.

He lets his lips wander down Louis’ jaw and onto his neck, kissing every patch of skin he can. He continues down to the juncture between Louis’ neck and shoulder, stopping to suck and bite. He needs to mark him, he needs Louis to have a piece of him after all this, so he knows, he remembers, that even if just in this moment, he belongs to Harry, and Harry belongs to him. Harry puts all his heartache and all his love into the lovebite. Louis is writhing beneath him; he’s quietly panting, and his hand is gripping Harry’s hair, pulling lightly.

When Harry feels satisfied with his efforts, he parts from Louis’ neck with a wet pop and admires his work. He slides Louis’ jumper up and over his head, exposing Louis’ caramel skin and heaving chest. He takes a second to run his fingers softly and slowly up and down his torso, letting his fingertips memorise the shapes and contours of his body. He sits back, straddling Louis, and then drags his palms up his arms from his wrist to his bicep, over his shoulders, past his pecks, and down his chest. “Fuck, you’re so gorgeous, Louis,” he says vehemently.

It’s hard to tell in the dim light of the room, but Harry could swear Louis is blushing. He places his palm on Louis’ cheek, a silent acknowledgement. He runs the tip of his index finger down his jaw and over his lip. Louis’ lips part on instinct, and Harry lets his finger lightly pull on the bottom one. 

Harry suddenly feels too warm. There are too many layers on them and around them. He takes his own top off and throws it on the floor, messing up his bun in the process. He grinds his hips down a little, creating friction on both of them, and then he presses their chests together again, taking Louis’ face in his hands and meeting him in a hungry kiss.

He gets swept up in the passion of it, pushing his tongue into Louis’ mouth and moaning. Louis is so pliant under him, seemingly happy to take whatever Harry is willing to give. And Harry is willing to give everything. He’s determined to treat Louis like a king, making this the best experience it can be. He needs him to feel what’s in Harry’s heart; he needs to paint that with his body. Louis breaks the kiss to take big breaths. “I’m too hot, H.”

Harry springs to action, shifting all the heavy blankets over closer to the wall, clearing a space for them, and just leaving a sheet. He then places his palms on Louis’ belly, twisting his hands so his fingers catch on the waistband of Louis’ trackies, and he slides his fingers in. One palm on each side is sliding down over his hips as he pulls. Louis lifts himself up to allow the pants to move past the swell of his ass, and then he’s naked. Harry’s beautiful man is naked in front of him, lying there all flushed, looking at Harry like there’s no one else in the world. Harry lets himself dream, if just for tonight.

Harry slides backwards and stands at the foot of the bed, stepping out of the rest of his own clothing. “Um… do you have…?”

“Oh, yeah! Yep, in the bathroom, top drawer.” Louis’ eyes are on him as he walks to the bathroom.

Harry follows the instructions and returns with lube and condoms. He places them on the desk next to the candles, and then climbs back on top of Louis. He settles one thigh between Louis’ and one on the outside of his leg, pressing the flesh of his upper thigh lightly into Louis’ groin.

“Are you sure you’re ready, baby?” Harry asks, hovering above Louis’ face, admiring him. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not read—”

“I’m ready! I want you, Harry! Please, I need you,” Louis says desperately.

Harry puts his hand on the side of Louis’ neck, looking him in the eye. “You have me, baby.”

He slides down Louis’ body, trying to keep as much of them touching as he possibly can, needing to feel him everywhere, and takes Louis’ hard cock in his mouth. Harry can’t recall a time where he’s ever loved sucking someone's cock so much, but he’d do it all day if Louis asked. He’s pretty sure he’d do anything Louis asked. 

He sucks and licks, working Louis up. Louis has his feet flat on the bed now, and his thighs are pressing into the sides of Harry’s head softly. Louis shuffles and then chucks the lube and condoms at Harry. “Harry, I’m gonna come. Need you inside me.”

“Soon, baby, soon.”

He keeps sucking on Louis. Gentle, not with the intent to make him come. This is about Louis’ pleasure, making him feel every sensation that Harry provides. He lubes up two fingers as he’s sucking on the head, and starts to tease Louis’ rim, tracing his finger up and around it in rhythmic patterns. Louis lets out a loud and guttural moan. “Harry, please, Harry.” He’s begging now, panting, and Harry can see he’s struggling with holding back. “Don’t come yet, baby, hold it. I know you can. Hold it for me.”

Harry sinks his two fingers into Louis, reminding him of the sensation of being filled. Taking his time to feel around and tease, getting Louis more worked up. Louis hisses and jerks up the bed for a moment before relaxing again. Harry kisses Louis’ thighs and has the overwhelming desire to mark him here too. With his fingers languidly pumping inside Louis, he sucks a bruise into the space where his thigh meets his hip. He bites down hard, and Louis gasps. “Please, please, please,” he cries.

Harry decides to take some mercy on him and stops long enough to put a condom on his own painfully hard and forgotten dick and lube it up. Louis whines at the loss of contact from Harry, but Harry reassures him by wrapping his arm around Louis’ bent leg. “I’m right here, baby, I’m gonna give you everything you want.” Once he’s prepped himself, he moves up the bed so he and Louis are face to face. He looks him in the eye and says quietly but seriously, “It’s easier for your first time if you’re on your hands and knees. Can you turn over for me, baby?”

“I don’t— Can I stay— I want to see your face. Please,” Louis struggles to say.

“Okay, baby, I’ll go slow. I’ll look after you. I’ll always look after you.”

Harry lifts Louis’ legs one at a time and places the backs of his knees on his shoulders. He lines himself up with Louis’ hole and presses just the tip in. Harry closes his eyes for a second, and Louis’ breath hitches. Harry turns his head and softly kisses Louis’ leg. He then turns to the other side and does the same, running his free hand up and down the light dusting of hair on Louis’ outer thigh. “You need to relax, baby. Let me in. I promise I’ll go slow.”

Harry presses forward, about an inch of his dick is in now, Louis’ face is screwed up tight, and he’s holding his breath. “You’re so big, fuck.”

“You can take me,” Harry says confidently.

He presses forward again, and this time he keeps pressing. Really slowly, bit by bit, he starts to sink into Louis, the feeling is overwhelming, to say the least. He’s been so focused on Louis’ comfort this whole time that he hasn’t even tuned into what he’s feeling for himself. Harry almost wants to cry. The sensation of being inside the man he loves, the way he so willingly accepts him—it’s hard to handle.

“You’re doing so good, baby. Such a good boy. Half way now. Keep relaxing; that’s it. Good boy.”

Harry brings his chest closer to Louis’, stretching Louis’ legs that are resting on his shoulders, and the movement forces his cock to sink in deeper. Louis’ eyes are screwed shut, and there are some tears leaking out the side, running down his face. Harry wipes them with his hand and runs a light finger over Louis’ eyelids, just enough that he knows he’s there and not enough to startle. “Baby, you need to open your eyes if you wanna see me,” he says softly, placing a gentle kiss on both of Louis’ eyelids.

Louis’ eyes slowly open, and he gulps. His usually blue eyes are now almost completely black as they stare into Harry’s. Harry maintains eye contact as he keeps pressing in, breathing heavily. He kisses Louis’, distracting him with his tongue while he pushes the rest of the way in and bottoms out. He groans into Louis’ mouth as he feels himself entirely sheathed inside the person he loves.

Harry moves his hips back slightly, pulling himself out a few inches, and then pushes back in, watching as Louis’ eyes roll in the back of his head. He seems to be taking it well, so Harry keeps up his thrusts with even pacing. With each push in, Louis’ head is thrown back, and he keeps his eyes locked on Harry, looking lustfully at him down the length of his face with hooded eyes. Harry finds the right angle and hits Louis’ prostate, making him scream out in shock and pleasure. “Oh my God,” Louis cries out.

Harry’s getting high on the feeling of Louis’ pleasure. It’s addictive watching him react to Harry’s touch like this. He’s desperate to keep it up and see what other sounds he can draw from his pretty mouth. He starts thrusting a little deeper, adding slightly more to his movements each time, and Louis moans and pleads with every hit.

Louis’ hands scratch down Harry’s shoulders, creating a waterfall of goosebumps as they go. Louis presses on Harry’s lower back, holding him in, urging him to stay. “I love the way you feel inside me, Haz. I lov…” The last words Louis was saying trail off on a breath as he turns his head to the side.

Harry keeps rolling his hips and then latches himself onto Louis’ neck again, marking him more, unable to help himself. He reaches down between them with one hand and starts jerking Louis off as he continues to suck his neck. Louis turns his head back to face Harry, and the action dismounts Harry from his neck. Harry pouts momentarily. “I’m… I’m gonna come, Harry. Kiss me!”

Thrusting faster, Harry moves forward and captures Louis’ lips with his own. He quickens his pace on Louis’ cock, making sure his thrusts are hitting his prostate, and pushes his tongue inside his mouth. Harry swipes his hand over the sensitive head of Louis’ cock, and Louis comes between them, hot and messy, as he moans loudly and jerks. The force of his orgasm has him clenching his hole, and the added pressure on Harry’s own cock sends him over the edge, filling the condom and wishing he could fill Louis instead.

He collapses on top of Louis a moment later, breathing into his neck, his hand still trapped between them. “Are you okay, baby?” he says into Louis’ skin. Louis starts to sob, and it sends Harry into a panic. “Fuck, what’s wrong?” he asks as he pulls his head out of Louis’ neck, his own eyes glassy with tears.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Louis says between sobs. “I’m just overwhelmed, I think.”

Harry extracts his messy hand from between their bodies and wipes it on the sheet. He then brushes his fingers over Louis’ face, clearing his hair from his sweaty forehead and kissing the peaks of his cheekbones. “Tell me what you need, baby, tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”

“Stay,” he says, and then adds, “please.”

“Of course,” Harry says, kissing all over Louis’ face. “Of course I’ll stay.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

The water trickles down Harry’s back as Louis scrubs the loofa into his skin. It’s warm, and it’s making their already sweaty bodies slick. Louis brushes the loofa down over Harry’s ass, and Harry smirks. 

“Cheeky,” he says and turns around, winding his arms around Louis and trapping the loofa between their bodies.

“Figured your ass could use some attention after all that,” Louis says, grinning at Harry.

“My ass always wants attention,” Harry jokes, and then runs his soapy hands down Louis’ back and rests them on his plump ass. “Too bad when this thing is around it steals the show.”

Louis bats at his chest. “I do have a great ass,” he says.

“That you do, baby.”

Harry leans his head back under the water, getting his long hair wet. He pops open the shampoo and gets a squeeze, quickly scrubbing his own head and rinsing. Louis’ hands are sliding all over his body as he washes his hair. His dick is already trying to respond again; he ignores it in favour of the tender moment they are having instead.

Once his hair is clean, he runs a hand over his face to clear the water and then tries to spin them around so Louis is under the water. They almost slip on the shampoo-covered shower floor in the tiny stall and end up holding each other up, giggling. “Oops,” Harry says. “Turn around so I can wash your hair.”

Louis smiles at Harry softly, and if he didn’t know any better, he would think there was love in his gaze. He turns and wets his hair, then steps back until his back is flush with Harry’s chest. Harry snakes his arms around Louis shoulders and stomach, kissing his shoulder lovingly. “You’re very distracting,” he says fondly in place of what he actually wants to say.

Harry lathers up Louis’ hair while Louis softly moans. “That feels so good, fuck. Haven’t had anyone wash my hair since I was a kid.”

“Mmm, it’s nice isn’t it?”

“People wash your hair for you? I guess you’ve always got someone to shower with; that makes sense,” Louis says, sounding resigned.

Harry’s stomach sinks, thinking he’s hurt Louis somehow. He wants to fix it and make him understand that he misunderstood. “Um, no, actually. I, um, I haven’t had anyone do it like this. Just when I’ve gone to the hairdresser is all.” 

Suddenly, Louis spins around, his hair covered in suds. “Oh my God, I just remembered! You have a girlfriend! The girl at the party! What the fuck, Harry?" He pushes on Harry’s chest, and Harry’s back hits the wall of the shower.

“Woah, hey, baby. No, you’ve got it wrong. That’s Zoe. She’s a friend. She’s also a lesbian. I promise, there’s no one but you.” Harry’s a little worried his confession gave away too much, but Louis’ reaction settles that fear.

“Oh,” he breathes, sighing. “Oh… I thought… that makes sense, actually. She did seem queer. I’m sorry.”

Harry pulls him closer and says, “Don’t worry about it, easy mistake. Glad we cleared it up.” He pecks his cheek.

“You’re totally free to do what you want, obviously. I know we aren’t exclusive,” Louis adds, eyes downcast.

“I know, but just so you know, there aren’t any girls, just you,” Harry states, leaning down to kiss Louis.

Louis kisses him back and then dips his head under the water to clear out the shampoo. “Okay. C’mon, can’t forget the conditioner.”

They finish their shower and clumsily dry themselves between kisses and towel fights. Louis knocks over the stand by the toilet, and a roll of toilet paper ends up falling in the shower, soaking up the water and effectively ruining it. They giggle and pick everything up, steam rising off their shower-hot bodies.

Louis gets new sheets from his drawers, and the two of them remake the bed, flattening out all the blankets again and climbing in, not bothering with clothes. Louis is lying back, one hand is playing with his hair, and the other is around Harry, with Harry resting on his chest. The room is dark now, with the fairy lights no longer glowing and the only light coming from the moon outside the window.

“Do you remember when we were kids, like ten or something, and you were being picked on?” Louis starts and then pauses for Harry’s response.

Harry stills the hand that’s drawing circles over Louis’ chest. “Um, yeah.”

“Yeah, and you hadn’t had a growth spurt, and all the boys were calling you tiny and little.” Harry feels Louis’ hand start to rub up and down his back. “And you were so upset because you were little, but you were insecure about it. God, I felt so bad for you. I couldn’t stand that the kids were making fun of you. It broke my heart.”

“I remember,” Harry whispers.

“And so I started telling everyone I was ‘Little Lou’ to give you some solidarity and take the attention away from you. I think it worked; kids stopped seeming so obsessed after that.”

“I didn’t care after that,” Harry states flatly. “You were so incredible then, doing that for me. If I had known what it was then, I think that’s when I fell in love with you.” Harry’s heart starts to beat rapidly, not meaning to admit that right now. “I mean, metaphorically, of course. Kid love. You know?”

Luckily, Louis doesn’t draw attention to it. “Mmm,” he says. “I never thought the name would stick, but then you started calling me it every day, and I started to love it. But when we got older and got to high school, it wasn’t as cool anymore, and then… we drifted…” He trails off.

“Yeah… Is it okay that I’ve been calling you that again? I know you keep telling me not to.”

Louis squeezes Harry’s arm. “Yeah, it’s okay, love. I was just thrown off at first because that name felt so familiar, but you didn’t anymore, so it made me sad, in a way.” He looks down at Harry, and Harry tilts his head up. “It’s okay now though, promise.” 

They share a soft kiss, and then Harry settles his head back on Louis’ chest, listening to his heart and feeling the rise and fall of his chest. The next time he glances up, Louis is asleep. He pulls the blankets further up around them and snuggles in, more content and happy than he’s ever been.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Chapter Text

When Louis woke up on Monday morning, Harry was gone. There was a note on his desk written on a ripped off piece of lined notepaper telling him that he had to go to footie practice and that he didn’t want to wake up the gorgeous sleeping Louis. Louis smiled at the paper and let himself feel the thrum of excitement under his skin that maybe Harry could feel the way Louis feels.

He texts Harry good morning on his way to uni and then goes to all of his classes, feeling happy and light. He contemplates sending a message to Joey after he finishes class but ultimately decides against it. On his way to go buy a tea for his walk home, he gets a text from Harry.

Harry: wht time r u done with classes? 😘

Louis: I’m done now, on my way to get tea and then heading home to study

He contemplates following up and asking Harry if he wants to come over tonight, but as he’s thinking it over, Harry beats him to the punch.

Harry: the same cafe as usual? wait there, i’m coming to pick u up, i have a surprise

Louis’ heart flips at learning Harry has a surprise for him. His mind whirls with ideas as he waits in the line to order his tea. He wonders if it’s a gift, and if so, should he have gotten Harry a gift also? He runs through ideas in his head of things he can do for Harry to show his gratitude for what he’s done for him, considering they never seem to be able to get those tutoring sessions in.

By the time he pulls on the heavy glass door to the cafe and slides out, Harry is parked out front, leaning on the hood of his car with his arms crossed over his chest. 

Louis waves, and as he gets closer, Harry blurts, “Fuck, you look hot today. Can’t wait to devour you.”

Louis blushes and looks over at the patrons sitting out the front of the cafe to see if they heard. They are all staring at him, so he’s pretty sure they did. He hurries his footsteps so he can hide his flaming face inside the sanctity of Harry’s car. He rushes around to the passenger door and jumps in.

“What’s wrong, Little Lou?” Harry says while scrunching his brow in confusion once they’re both in the car.

“Everybody heard that, Harry! Way to draw attention to us,” Louis says, laughing

Harry glances out of the windscreen at the coffee drinkers. “Don’t pretend you don’t love it! They sure did.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Fuck off! So what’s the surprise?” Louis asks as Harry starts the engine and backs the car out of the parking spot.

Harry doesn’t reply for a bit, but Louis gives him a moment to concentrate on driving before he prompts. “Harry?”

“You only have one class on Tuesdays, right?” Harry asks timidly.

“Yeahhhh…” Louis replies, unsure where Harry is going with this line of questioning.

“Well, don’t be mad, but, um, you’re going to miss that class tomorrow.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, see, I’ve, uh... I’ve booked us a glamping pod in the Yorkshire Dales.”

Louis whips his head around to face Harry. “A WHAT?”

Harry giggles and then reaches out and squeezes Louis’ thigh. “Just trust me, okay? I’ve thought of everything. You’ll love it.”

Louis nods and drinks his tea; suddenly, he realises that he doesn’t have any spare clothes or even his toothbrush. “Wait, Harry, what about my clothes and things? Can we turn back to go to my flat?”

“No need, Little Lou. I packed clothes for you from my wardrobe.” He smiles so big that his dimples pop out.

“You…” Louis swallows, and his pulse picks up. “You want me to wear your clothes?”

Without missing a beat, Harry replies, “Yeah, ‘course, baby,” and then gives him a look as if to say, Why wouldn’t you, silly?

Harry squeezes his leg again before pulling his hand away and placing it back on the steering wheel. He’s been calling him ‘baby’ a lot lately. It started out as just being something he said during the heat of the moment in sex, but it’s spread now to after and before sex, and now even when sex isn’t on the radar. He doesn’t want to ask Harry about it in case he stops because it feels nice and Louis likes it. But he wishes he knew what it meant. Does Harry call all his hookups ‘baby’ as it’s just easier to do so so that he doesn’t mess up names? Or is this word reserved for Louis? If it’s the latter, he’d really like to know.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

When they arrive at the glamping pods, they meet with the owner, who gives them the key and a few quick words about how things work and then leaves them to it. Louis takes in the beautiful countryside around them; it’s breathtaking. It’s hard to see too far as it’s twilight now, there are no clouds in the sky, and it’s cold. Louis shivers and rubs his hands together.

“Hurry up then, freezing my bloody bollocks off out here,” he says to Harry, who is taking his sweet time retrieving things from the car.

“Patience, Lou. I’m getting there.”

The car door slams, and Harry comes out from behind it brandishing multiple bags, pillows, and grocery bags. Everything is precariously balanced on and in his arms, and he’s smiling so brightly that Louis feels momentarily warm.

“How do you feel about chicken stir fry for dinner?”

“Sounds amazing.”

They go inside the glamping pod and it’s gorgeous, there’s a big grey couch down the right side of the pod and a two seater table on the left. Behind that is the small kitchenette, painted olive green, with the bathroom behind and the bed opposite. The whole thing is dome shaped, like a tent, and it has beautiful pine wood panelling. Truly a little slice of country heaven.

“Where’d you even find this place?” Louis asks as they dump their bags and close the door.

“I saw an article online and knew it would be perfect. We got lucky too because they’re usually booked up, but they had a cancellation so they were able to fit us in tonight!” Harry says excitedly as he starts to put the groceries away. “Do you um… do you not like it?”

“What? No, I love it. It’s gorgeous, really. Thank you. It’s perfect.” He then adds under his breath, “You’re perfect,” but he’s pretty sure Harry didn’t hear him.

Harry cooks dinner and serves it with wine, which makes Louis question why he bought wine.

“You don’t like wine?” Harry asks around a mouthful of snow pea and chicken.

Louis scrunches his nose. “I don’t mind it, but I prefer beer. Or vodka.”

Harry gets up from the table and then comes back from the kitchen with both a cold bottle of Stella and brand new bottle of vodka. He opens the beer and slides it in front of Louis. “I got those too,” he says smoothly and sits back down opposite Louis, smiling. “Wanted you to have options.”

“Damn, you really did think of everything.” Louis picks up his beer and holds it up. “Well, cheers,” he offers and Harry holds up his glass too. “To good friends and good sex.” Their drinks clink as they’re both laughing.

After dinner, they settle on the couch, fresh drinks in hand.

Harry waves a joint in Louis’ face. “Still had this, wanna smoke?”

Louis agrees and sits forward so he can share a few drags, and then, once sufficiently buzzed, he passes the joint back to Harry.

“So when did you decide that you wanted to be a baker?” Louis asks as he settles back into the corner of the couch, Harry in the opposite corner.

“I started baking when I was stressed about a game or uni and all the lads kept praising my skills. I thought they were just having me on, you know? But the more I did it, the more I loved it. It takes me out of my head and gives me a chance to work through what I’m feeling. And the result is delicious pastries. Getting to watch people enjoy them is the best part; like the hard work paid off, you know?" He offers the joint back to Louis but Louis declines so Harry licks his finger and stubs it out.

“Definitely. The cookies you made were incredible. I can’t wait to try anything else you’ve baked.” Louis is about to go on when Harry jumps up and runs over to the kitchen, slipping a bit on his socked feet.

When he comes back, he has two plates, one for each of them, with a small tart on them. “Pasteis de nata, Portuguese tart,” he says with his arm outstretched, offering the pastry up.

“Jesus, Haz, when did you even have time? And thank you, looks amazing.”

Harry shrugs. “After practice. Didn’t have any lectures today that I couldn’t just catch online later.”

Louis moans around the pastry, revelling in the delicious taste. He’s sure he looks like a right idiot, closing his eyes and savouring the flavour, but he doesn’t care. Hopefully Harry appreciates his reaction.

“So you like it, then?” Harry deadpans.

Louis smiles with his mouth full and then, after swallowing, says, “Very much so. You were made to bake, babe.”

Harry’s cheeks flush, but that might just be the wine.

“Do you remember Mick’s?” Harry asks.

Louis snorts. “Yeah, ‘course. We only spent, like, every weekend there. Pretty sure old Mick was sick of us by the end.”

Harry giggles and takes a sip of wine. “Right!? I loved that place. I think about it all the time. It felt like nothing bad could happen at Mick’s.” Harry sighs mournfully.

“I know what you mean. I kept going there for a while, after we um… grew apart. I didn’t see you there ever, and after a couple of months, I gave up. Didn’t feel the same without you.” Louis looks up from his thumb that’s playing with the label of his beer and into Harry’s eyes.

“Same, actually. We must have kept missing each other. I wonder what Mick’s up to these days. D’you think he still has the store?”

Louis nods. “I think so. Mum said she saw him a few months back, so he’s still in town. I feel like we’d know if an institution like that had closed down. We’d need to throw a proper funeral; mourn the shop respectfully.” He laughs bright and loud, and Harry joins him.

After two more drinks, when they are both feeling a lot more loose, Harry suggests they do the quiz inside the Cosmopolitan magazine that was on the coffee table. “C'mon, Louuuuu, it’ll be fun!”

Louis groans and says, “Fine! What’s the quiz, then? Am I going to find out how to match my shoes to my jacket?”

Harry flicks through the magazine, stopping every few pages and shaking his head, and then lands on a page and looks up at Louis with a devilish glint in his eye. “What’s Your Kink: Are You Vanilla or Do You Like Spice?” he reads out loud.

“Oh, fuck off, we’re not doing that!” Louis says playfully. Harry pouts, and he looks so cute that Louis’ resolve is crumbling. “Okay, fine. Go on, then, what’s the first question?”

“Where would be your favourite place to have sex?” Harry reads and then provides Louis with the list of options.

Louis’ a little nervous as his experience is limited, so he answers, “In my room.”

Harry makes a note of his answer and then asks the next one and provides the multiple choice options. “What’s your view on bondage? A, I love it. B, willing to try. C, sounds scary. D, hard no.” His eyes are trained on Louis, waiting for an answer.

“Um, I’ve never done it, obviously. But I’d really like to try it, so I guess A and B.”

“What’s your view on spanking?”

Louis looks away; he can feel his face heating up. He’s never voiced it out loud before, but he’s always had a fantasy of being spanked. “Um, yeah, good. I’ll go with B.”

“How often are you up for trying new things in bed?”

Louis laughs. “Well, I’d say pretty up for it, considering we’ve spent almost two weeks trying all new things.” He doesn’t give a letter answer, but Harry must match his response appropriately.

Harry shifts on the couch, getting a bit closer to Louis, making the whole quiz seem more intimate now. He just needs a minute, so he announces that he needs to pee and that he’s going to bring back fresh drinks.

He hands Harry the fresh glass of wine and settles back on the couch in the same spot, which feels even closer to Harry than when he left.

“How do you feel about the act of sex in general?”

“Good, I’ve enjoyed everything so far. A.”

“And what is your experience with sexual fantasies?” Harry looks up at him again and places his hand on Louis’ thigh.

“Um, well, I have them. Doesn’t everyone?”

“What’s your fantasy, Lou?” Harry asks, running his hand up Louis’ thigh and cupping his dick.

Louis’ breath hitches. Harry is getting closer, crowding him in. Louis’ head is pressed back against the cushion of the couch, and Harry’s lips are hovering in front of his. He feels their lips brush as he speaks. “Um, I guess… well, I wouldn’t be opposed to being tied up and spanked.” He swallows. He’s never told anyone what he thinks about all this, and he feels vulnerable in this moment. It’s turning him on more than he realised it would too. “And… maybe like doing what I’m told to do. I don’t know.” He says the last words as barely a whisper, and then Harry’s lips are on his.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry can’t hold back anymore. Fuck the test; he needs to feel Louis now. He presses Louis back into the couch, keeping their mouths connected, and straddles him, grabbing his wrists lightly and bringing them up behind his head. “This okay?” he whispers into Louis’ mouth.

Harry feels Louis nod his head, the movement breaking their kissing, so he applies a bit more pressure to Louis’ wrists and grinds his hips down. Louis whimpers and turns his head to the side. Harry takes advantage of Louis’ displayed neck and kisses a line down his jaw, softly biting as he goes. He latches himself to the underside of Louis’ jaw, intent on leaving a mark—in a hidden spot for the most part, but still visible. Louis is his, he wants the world to know.

Not only being given permission to touch and feel Louis like this, but to also claim him—to show him off—is sending Harry wild. It’s all he’s ever wanted, and he’s so glad that Louis chose him in the end—at least it feels that way. Louis has to feel it too. This can’t just be one sided, not after they made love yesterday and Louis came apart beneath him. Harry lets the intoxicating feeling guide his actions as he messily bites a path down Louis’ neck.

Not wanting to get too carried away on the couch, he reluctantly breaks away from Louis. Standing up, he offers his hand to Louis and walks them over to the bed area, his heart pumping in his chest and his lips tingling from Louis’ stubble.

“Stay,” Harry commands, rushing over to their luggage and collecting both of their scarves. He places them both on the bed behind Louis and steps back to just look at him. “You’re stunning, Lou. I can’t believe you’re mine to have,” he says in awe.

Louis squirms and looks down. “Hey, eyes up, look at me,” Harry says, and Louis’ blue eyes shoot back up and bore into his. “Good boy.”

Louis’ already so responsive, and they’ve only just started. Harry takes a step forward and begins to undress Louis. He starts with his jeans, popping the button slowly and dragging the zipper down, letting his hands do the work while he holds eye contact with Louis. The fabric of Harry’s football jersey that Louis changed into earlier is loose and moves aside, making Harry’s hands lightly brush against the soft underbelly of Louis’ tummy. He deliberately palms over Louis’ cock as he slides his hand in between the fabric of the jeans and his underwear. 

Harry lightly squeezes, and Louis’ eyes temporarily close before opening again and looking directly at Harry. “Good boy,” Harry whispers into Louis’ ears. “Keep those eyes on me, baby.”

Sliding his hands around Louis’ hips and settling them on his ass, he self-indulgently kneads the flesh for a moment, using the movement to bring Louis flush against his own body. Louis grips onto Harry’s arms, which makes him realise that Louis’ hands are still free. Keen to change that, he slips his hands inside Louis’ underwear and starts to tug everything down.

His whole body follows his hands over his round ass, down the length of Louis’ strong thighs, and makes Harry kneel by the time he reaches his calves. Harry can’t help but nuzzle into Louis’ groin and give the head of his now exposed dick a little suck while he’s there. The resounding gasp he hears above him makes me smile in delight that he’s able to cause that reaction in Louis.

Louis steps out of his jeans and boxers, and Harry discards them. He decides to leave Louis’ top on for the moment because he’s wearing Harry’s football jersey, and seeing Louis in it is doing things to Harry. He has him sit on the end of the bed by lightly pushing him so that he has to walk backwards until the back of his knees hit the mattress and his ass falls onto the duvet. He picks up the scarf that belongs to him and gently places it over Louis’ eyes, wrapping it around and tying it firmly behind his head. 

“How’s that, baby? Can you see anything?” he asks, and Louis shakes his head. “Good, don’t move.”

Pulling his own t-shirt over his head and ridding himself of his jeans, Harry hurries to get undressed, feeling too excited and needing to let out some of the energy. 

He walks back over to Louis and places his hand lightly on the side of his face so that he knows he’s there, and then puts the head of his dick on Louis’ lips. Harry’s about to say, “Open,” when Louis parts his mouth on his own accord and sticks his tongue out. The image of a blindfolded Louis with his mouth open, waiting for Harry’s cock, is igniting a level of passion inside Harry he didn’t even know he could reach.

“Fucking hell,” he murmurs under his breath as he presses the head of his hard cock into Louis’ eager mouth. Louis immediately starts sucking and brings his hand up. “No hands,” Harry says, and Louis drops his hands back down to his own bare thighs again. Harry notes the jump in Louis’ dick that got caught on the edge of the fabric of the jersey when he gave the command.

Harry runs both forefingers along the line of Louis’ jaw until they meet on his chin, and he pulls his cock out of Louis’ mouth, replacing it with his lips. He’s overcome with love and emotion, and he’s having a hard time staying in control—staying composed enough to give Louis an experience he’s never had.

Stepping back and creating distance between them, Harry takes a moment to really appreciate the sight before him. When he walks quietly back towards Louis, he lightly rakes his nails up the top of Louis’ thick thighs, starting at the knee and twisting around and ending over his hip and on the dip of his waist. Louis gasps and shivers. “As much as I love seeing you in my clothes, baby, time we take this off, I think,” Harry says as he runs his hands underneath the jersey and over Louis’ stomach up to his nipples.

With the tips of his nails, he flicks both nipples at the same time, and it causes Louis to whimper, his breathing starting to become erratic. “Harry,” he says on a breath. Harry pinches Louis’ nipples, and he cries out. He then flattens his palms over Louis’ pecks, giving his nipples another small rub before yanking the jersey up and over his head, finally getting Louis totally naked, save for the blindfold.

“Lay back for me, kitten,” Harry says, and then swallows hard. He’s not even sure where that name came from, it just slipped out. It felt natural, but he’s worried Louis won’t like it, so he tucks it back away until they can talk about it later.

Louis scoots up the bed and lays back gently in the centre. “Hands above your head, baby.”

Harry grabs the second scarf and straddles Louis’ chest. He leans over him and threads the scarf intricately around both wrists, tying them together, trying to create a complicated pattern so it doesn’t come undone.

“You okay, Lou?” he checks.

“Yeah…” Louis says softly, releasing a breath. “I’m good.”

Once Harry’s satisfied with the restraint, he shuffles back as he lightly scratches from Louis’ wrists, down his inner forearms, over his biceps, through the hairs of his armpit, and then down the sides of his torso. He stops when he gets to Louis’ waist and grips both sides. Just sitting there, holding him, watching him breathe and move his head around like he’s trying to see what Harry is doing.

Louis keeps fidgeting, rolling his hands, and sucking in breaths. When Harry still doesn’t do anything for another minute or so, Louis surrenders and stills his movements. “Is… Is everything okay, Harry? Do you, um, do you want to stop?”

His voice sounds suddenly insecure, and Harry won’t have any of that, so he places his finger over Louis’ mouth and leans down to whisper in his ear. “Shh, baby. I don’t want to stop. I’m just admiring my good boy.” 

Sitting back, Harry drags his eyes all over Louis’ body. His cock is hard against his lower stomach, and there is a tiny bead of precome sitting on the end. Harry swipes the precome up with his finger and then brings it up to Louis’ mouth, pressing inside. “Can you suck for me, baby?”

Louis sucks on his finger and then makes a small sound when he evidently realises that he’s sucking his own precome off Harry’s finger.

Using this time when Louis is bound and blindfolded, Harry takes his time, worshipping every corner of his body. He’s wanted him for so long that having him here and completely trusting Harry is a potent feeling. He touches his legs, his knees, his inner thighs. He cups his balls and lightly massages them, making Louis wriggle and whine. He feels his beautiful cock and its soft skin up to his obscene waist, and then flattens his hand over his little pouch on his belly.

He knows he’s getting carried away and he’s going to have to do something soon, but he just wants to admire—to touch—without judgement. 

Louis feels like his, finally. He gets to touch him all the time now.

He gives Louis’ cock a couple of pumps as he rests his body on top and kisses him. “Just going to untie these for a moment, baby.” He taps the scarf on Louis’ wrist. “Then want you to turn over and lean over the bed. Can you do that?”

Louis nods and says, “Yes,” in a strangled voice, like there is too much saliva in his mouth.

Once Louis is situated so that he’s bent at the hips, legs over the bed, and chest pressed into the mattress, Harry gently guides both of Louis’ hands behind his back and rejoins his wrists with the scarf. “Still okay, baby?”

“Mmhmm,” Louis says, though it’s muffled as the side of his face is pressed into the duvet.

Not wanting to waste any more time, Harry lands his flat palm on Louis’ ass. He doesn’t spank hard, just softly to warm up. He tries again, this time a little harder, and Louis moans.

He aims for the fleshy part of Louis’ ass with each spank, missing a couple of times and apologising. He feels a bit foolish doing this without ever having done it in any kind of serious setting before. He concedes that he won’t spank Louis hard; he’ll just aim for quantity instead.

Louis’ fingers are twitching where they are joined behind his back, and Harry can’t help but slip his hand between his fingers, trying to hold Louis’ hand as best he can. Louis immediately clutches him back. “Such a good boy. You like being spanked?” he asks, squeezing his fingers.

Louis groans. “Yes, yes!”

Harry spanks him again, applying more pressure. He’s spurred on by Louis’ enthusiasm. The last spank he lands makes his own hand tingle and Louis cry out. “Please, Harry!”

“What do you need, baby?”

“You! Fuck me, please.”

Harry’s so overwhelmed that he almost forgets to put a condom on, remembering at the last second when his bare cock is pressed against Louis’ hole. “Oh fuck, one second, baby.”

Condom in place and sufficiently lubed, he presses in oh-so slowly. Louis’ fucked out state has him already so relaxed that he’s not even clenching, which is very helpful.

“Yessss,” Louis breathes out as Harry sinks further inside him. “Need you inside me, Harry.”

Harry rocks back and forth as he sinks. Each rock forward he gets a little deeper until he’s all the way in. He grabs Louis’ shoulder with his right hand and then starts to pump in and out with more speed. Louis is incoherent below him; he’s moaning and babbling, and his body is like a ragdoll that Harry is pushing further and further into the bed.

After increasing the speed of his thrusts and working up a sweat with the effort, he uses his left hand to grab Louis’ hip and guide him to stand back up, as he’d become a little floppy. He reaches around under Louis’ hip and grasps his cock. “My baby,” he says as he pounds into Louis’ prostate. “Taking my cock so well, made for me.”

The combination of hitting his prostate and the words seem to send Louis over the edge, and he comes into Harry’s hand with a gruff moan. Harry pulls his cock out of Louis’ ass, rips the condom off, and then uses Louis’ come that’s all over his hand to finish jerking himself off, coming all over Louis’ back with a loud groan.

Mesmerised, Harry rubs his warm come into Louis’ skin, loving the way he looks when covered in Harry. It looks right, it feels right.

He falls forward and braces himself with a hand to the bed, right by Louis’ shoulder. Breathing heavy, he kisses the skin under Louis’ ear and says, “That was amazing. You’re amazing.” In this moment, he wants to tell Louis now how much he loves him, but he fears that it’s too soon and he doesn’t want to spook him away—he only just got him; he can’t lose him now.

Harry grabs a wet hand towel from the bathroom and wipes himself and Louis off, then undoes the scarves around Louis’ head and wrists. Louis immediately crawls onto the bed and collapses on his side. “Thank you,” he says, then falls asleep.

Harry climbs onto the bed and wraps himself around Louis, covering them in blankets to go to sleep. He lightly pecks the back of Louis’ neck and whispers, “I love you. I’ve loved you for so long that I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

The smell of bacon is what wakes Louis up. He rolls over on the bed and sees Harry in the kitchen area, cooking. He’s only wearing his boxers and the football jersey Louis had on last night. Louis takes a moment to appreciate his long, toned legs and cute, pert ass.

“Morning,” he says while stretching.

Harry turns around, holding a spatula and tongs. “Morning, gorgeous. Hungry?”

“Starved.” Louis yanks the covers off and heads to the bathroom to pee. “Do I have time to shower?”

“Hmm, let’s eat first and shower together.”

Louis pouts as he flushes the toilet. He feels gross with dried sweat and come sticking to his skin. But the idea of showering with Harry is too great to pass up, so he washes his hands and slips on his underwear and a t-shirt.

“How are you feeling after last night?” Harry asks.

“My ass hurts.” Louis chuckles. “But good. How about you?”

Harry blushes and looks at his plate, takes a big breath in, and then looks up at Louis again. “I um… yeah, I enjoyed it. Was good. You were amazing. But, like, we didn’t go too far? You felt safe?”

“Absolutely. I felt completely looked after. And, um… well… I really liked when you…” He can’t keep Harry’s eye contact, so he cuts some bacon on this plate instead. “Ilikedwhenyoucalledmekitten,” he rushes out in one breath, feeling the embarrassment of the confession crawl up his neck and make the follicles on his head tickle.

“Oh, you liked that, did you, kitten?”

“Stoooppppp.”

“No way, kitten ! I only know you as that now. You are forever ‘kitten’.”

“Harrrryyy!” Louis whines.

“Sorry, sorry. I liked it too, by the way. Is it okay if I use it again next time?”

Next time. Louis feels a hot flush of adrenaline burst in his stomach at the idea that they will do this again next time. “Yeah. Um, that’d be... yeah.”

They both continue to eat their food, comfortable silence settling over the room until Harry says, “I was thinking we could take a walk this morning. There’s this path we can follow. I asked the owner about it, and she said it takes about 45 minutes to walk the whole trail.”

Louis hums as he shovels eggs and bacon into his mouth. He didn’t realise just how hungry he was until he started eating. “Sounds good,” he says around a mouthful of food.

Harry smiles at him, his dimples out in force. “You’re so cute,” he says, then scrunches his nose.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

The walk is nice, but cold. Even though Louis is wearing warm clothing—Harry’s clothes—he’s still cold. The scarf around his neck is Harry's, as his own one got come on it. The scent of the scarf brings back the memory of last night and makes his cheeks rosy. At least he can blame the cold for that.

Harry convinced Louis to walk before taking a shower because the warm water would feel nicer when they got back. He wasn’t entirely convinced at the time, but now that they are unlocking the cabin door, he’s never been more keen to step under the water.

“Finally, time to shower!” Louis celebrates. 

Harry is frowning as he closes the door, so Louis asks him what’s wrong. “Nothing, just… nothing. Let’s shower.”

The shower in the cabin is small, but not as small as Louis’ flat’s shower, surprisingly. They both fit, albeit with a tight squeeze. But Louis doesn’t mind; it gives him the opportunity to stay plastered to Harry’s body. Harry carries more warmth than even the shower does, it seems.

By the time he’s dried off and in Harry’s clean clothes, Louis feels like a million bucks.

“Have you got everything?” Louis asks as Harry starts piling things by the door to take to the car.

“Yeah, think so. Can you do a sweep for me while I pack the car?”

There isn’t anything left behind, but Louis, feeling sentimental, does go to the ancient copy of Cosmo Magazine and rip the quiz out, folding it up and slipping it into his pocket. 

“Ready to go?” Harry asks as Louis steps out.

“Yep.” He smiles.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

The drive back is fairly quiet, but not in a stifling way. More like they are both content, or, at least, Louis is. He feels so happy, it’s like he's floating. Harry is singing along to the music trickling through the speakers and tapping on the steering wheel.

“Do you have any classes today?” Louis asks.

“Nah, nothing I can’t miss. Especially with the Easter break coming up. I’ll just get the notes from Liam or one of the guys.”

Louis gets his phone out that he’s basically abandoned since Harry abducted him yesterday. “I have one class and then a tutor student. Might see if Kelly is free after.” He rests his head back on the headrest and brings his right foot up and under his left thigh. There’s a text from Joey just saying hi, but he ignores it.

“Would you… um…” Harry starts and then glances at Louis quickly before looking at the road again. “Would you want to hang out later tonight?”

Louis smiles out of the window. “Yeah, sure.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

“Have you two fucked yet?” Kelly says into Louis’ building’s intercom later that afternoon.

“Christ, Kel!” Louis buzzes her in and waits at his door until she arrives.

“Well?” she says sassily as she comes into view. “Have you?”

“Have a little class, Kel. At least wait until you’re inside instead of announcing my sex life to my neighbours.” Louis glances both ways down the hall before closing the door.

“I’m sure they already know, LouLou.” She smirks as she walks past him, tapping his cheek as she goes and flopping down onto his bed. “I’ll take your avoidance as a yes, then. So go on, spill the beans. How’s it feel to finally have your innocence stolen?”

Louis throws a book at her. “Fuck off!”

She laughs and sits up. “No need to resort to violence, LouLou.” She puts on a fake innocent face and bats her eyelashes. “Was it everything you always dreamed it would be?”

Louis considers glazing over the topic, not sure if he’s ready to put something so vulnerable on the table for mocking. Though he knows that Kelly is his friend, first and foremost, and if he asked her to be serious, she would.

“I’ll tell you about it. It’s more complicated than you think. I need you to promise you’re not going to make fun. Promise?”

Kelly turns serious. “Yeah, LouLou, ‘course. Fuck, I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

“Oh!” Louis waves his hand in the air. “Oh, nothing bad, nothing like that. I’m fine. I just… I need to explain without the jokes.” He sits back on his bed, his back propped against the pillows against the wall. Kelly shuffles herself perpendicular to him and waits. “Okay, so I told you on Saturday what happened at the party, right? And then, after I spoke with you, I texted him and asked him to come over on Sunday. What I didn’t tell you is that I stupidly fell for him.” Louis looks up from his lap at his friend and gives her a wonky smile.

“Oh, babes. Did he reject you?” she says sympathetically.

“What?” He laughs breathily. “No! Quite the opposite. He came over on Sunday and I…” He blushes and looks away again. “I made him dinner and—”

“Fuck off! You cooked!” She cackles. “Surprised he’s still around. Both metaphorically and alive.”

Louis laughs with her. “Yeah, I thought the same thing. But he ate it all, said it was good. Anyway, we just watched a movie, and then, well, yeah. He fucked me.”

“Babe! How was it!?” she says excitedly, slapping her hand on the bed.

“Oh my God, Kel, it was unreal. I mean, everything we’ve done has been incredible. But Sunday night was different. I don’t know what I was so afraid of, to be honest. Totally worth it. And then he kidnapped me yesterday and took me to the Yorkshire Dales in this little countryside glamping pod thing. He’s just… I think I’m falling in love with him, Kel, and I don’t know what to do because sometimes it feels like he feels the same, but we have this arrangement and this isn’t what he agreed to…”

“Sounds to me like he’s just as in as you are. Like, who steals someone away for a romantic getaway if they don’t have some sort of feelings for them?”

“I guess. But he hasn’t said anything, like he knows this has all been leading up to my date with Joey, and he hasn’t said anything. I don’t know, maybe it’s all in my head.”

“What are you going to do about Joey, then?” Kelly asks.

“I think it depends on Harry, really. My date with Joey isn’t until Friday, so I’ll see if I can figure out how Harry feels over the next few days. If he doesn’t want anything more with me, then I guess I’ll have to get over him. And I like Joey he’s nice, really nice, so it’s not like I’m losing really,” he says sadly.

Kelly shuffles on the bed and tackles Louis into a hug. “You know I love you so much, don’t you, LouLou? Best man I know, if Harry doesn’t see that, then he’s even more of an idiot than I first thought!”

“Thanks, Kel. But hey, speaking of dates, how’s things with your guy? Niall, right?”

Kelly giggles. “Really good. We’re sort of dating now. It’s not official yet, but it’s going in that direction, I think.”

Kelly tells Louis all about her last couple days with Niall, and Louis shares in her elation. Maybe things can work out when you want them to.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Armed with his new mission, Louis studies everything Harry does when he arrives at Louis’ door that night. The way he smiles when he holds up the takeout bag, the way he leans down and pecks Louis on the lips, and the way he cuddles up to him when they put the movie on.

He brings Louis a drink without him asking, and he takes off his own green hoodie to put on Louis because I like the way it looks on you, Lou.

It’s a soft evening, just sharing the space with each other. Quietly watching movies and kissing every once in a while. It’s nice. Louis likes it. He wants it every day, and he’s suddenly terrified he won’t have it.

They don’t have sex, but Louis doesn’t mind. The evening doesn’t need it. He feels content. 

They curl up, and Louis wraps Harry up in his arms. Holding onto him for dear life, never wanting to let go.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Chapter Text

Waking up on Wednesday with Harry in his bed is a surprise. Usually, Harry has football on Wednesday mornings, so Louis is confused as to why he’s still in his bed at 9 a.m.

“Harry, wake up,” he says as he nudges his shoulder. “Haz, it’s 9 a.m.”

“Mmm, Lou. C’mere,” Harry replies dopily.

“You need to wake up, Haz. You’re missing football.”

Harry rolls over completely and scoops Louis into his arms, forcing him to lie on his chest. “Seasons over, no practice today.”

“Oh.” Louis deflates and lets his body relax into Harry’s again.

“I’m meeting the guys for a game for fun at eleven, though,” he says as he squeezes Louis and kisses his head. “Do you wanna come?”

“And play?”

“Oh shit, yeah, I forgot you used to play. I’m so dumb.”

“You’re not dumb,” Louis cuts in.

Harry inhales a large breath, making Louis’ head rise on his chest, and then lets it out. “So you want to come play?”

Seeing Harry around his friends could be super helpful to Louis in figuring out how he feels, not to mention that it’s more time with Harry. “Yeah, I’m in.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

When they arrive at the ptich, they are greeted by Liam and Amber. 

“Hey, Louis!” Amber calls out. “Didn’t know you were coming today.”

Louis laughs. “Last minute decision. Hope it’s okay that I’m here.”

“Yeah, seems we’ve got all the couples today,” Liam points out and chuckles.

Louis glances over to the pitch and can see four other guys running around and their girlfriends with them. “Is anyone else due?” he inquires.

“Just Toby and Jasmine. Corey couldn’t make it, already went home for break. Zayn should be coming too, but I haven’t heard from him this morning, so I’m not a hundred percent on that one.”

“Well, if Malik doesn’t make it, it really just is the couples then,” Harry says happily, and Louis feels a rush of nerves all over his body. Did Harry just refer to them as a couple?

“If we’re just having fun today, would anyone be opposed to me inviting my friend Kelly and her sort-of-it’s-new boyfriend?” He looks from Liam to Harry and then to Amber.

Everyone agrees, so Louis texts Kelly, who thankfully responds quite quickly, saying that she and Niall will be there by 11:30.

“Right, fuckers!” one of the guys on the pitch calls out. “Get yer lazy asses out here!”

Liam, Amber, Harry, and Louis run out to the pitch and fist bump everyone. It’s nice. Louis feels part of it, rather than being on the sidelines.

Louis is loudly cackling, sweat dripping down his face, when Kelly and Niall show up. Niall is surprisingly good at football, and Kelly is just laughing and having fun. Zayn shows up, and Jasmine says, ”Thank God! Take my spot!” as she heads for the bleachers.

There are seven players per side, a mix of actual players and their plus ones, so the teams are even skill wise. Louis ends up on the team opposite Harry, and being the cheeky shit that he is, he uses it as an opportunity to just run after and block Harry, pressing his ass into him to distract him.

The whole game is carefree and fun. Everyone is laughing, and after over an hour of playing, only Harry’s team has scored one goal. It’s started to drizzle, and the ground is getting sort of muddy.

Louis’ competitive nature won’t allow him to back down, so in the second half of the game, he ditches his flirting with Harry in favour of scoring a goal.

He’s successful, intercepting the ball and kicking it all the way down the pitch and into the goal. He turns around, hollering with his arms up in the air, a big smile on his face, excited by his win when Harry tackles him to the ground, landing on top of him. 

Louis lets out an “oomph” sound. “Harry! Fuck, we’re getting all wet!”

“I don’t care,” he replies, bringing his muddy hands to Louis’ cheeks, stroking his cheekbone, and kissing him fiercely. 

Distantly, he can hear the others hooting and wooing, a few whistles, and then, “Jesus, lads, get a room!”

Someone also yells out, “Harry’s bagged the prince!” Which is followed by Amber's voice, “Shut up, James!” 

The kiss continues, and Louis bends his knee, using his inner thigh to hug Harry to him. They roll around a little, and Louis can feel mud and wetness soaking into every fibre of clothing on him. He doesn’t care; he has Harry, and Harry has him.

He feels a light kick in his side. They must also kick Harry because he says, “Heyyyyy!”

“C'mon, you love birds! Up, up! Game isn’t over yet.” James says.

Louis plays the rest of the game in utter glee. Harry looks good, all drenched and wet, and for once he’s not worried about winning—he feels like he already did.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

It was hard to leave Louis after the game, but he’s had these plans with Gemma for weeks now, and he couldn’t exactly bail.

He texts with Louis the whole time he’s getting dressed and ready to go out. He’s grabbing a drink of water in the kitchen before he leaves when he runs into all the guys.

“Finally taking Prince William on a proper date?” Tyler asks.

“Fuck off!” Harry replies, but beams while saying it. “Meeting my sister, actually.”

“Is she hot? Bring her ‘round then.”

Harry guffaws. “You’re already spoken for, mate.”

“Yeah, but I can still look.” Tyler smirks.

Harry crosses the room to the door, calling out over his shoulder. “Right, I’m off, see ya later, lads.”

“Later, Haz!” Liam yells.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry is practically buzzing the whole time he’s waiting at the table for Gemma. She immediately notices when she arrives. “Hey little bro! Wait, what’s up? You seem overly happy.”

“Um… I have a boyfriend. And… not just anyone, it’s—”

“Did you finally give up on Tomlinson, then?” She snorts.

Harry’s smile falters. “No, um. He’s the boyfriend. My boyfriend, actually.”

Gemma uses the menu to slap Harry’s shoulder. “Harry! What!?”

Harry giggles. “Yeah, um. It started two weeks ago, but it became unofficially official a few days ago.”

“Harry, that’s— Wait, what do you mean ‘unofficially official’?”

Harry waves his hand in the air as if to dismiss her worries. “Oh, just that we haven’t used that term yet. Officially. But I’m sure he feels the same. He does.”

She jumps up and leans over the table to hug him. “Oh fuck, I’m so happy for you, baby bro. I always thought you two would end up together.” She kisses his cheek and sits back down. “Let’s celebrate, cocktails!?”

The waiter comes over, and they each order a cocktail with their food. They drink them fast and get three in before the first plate of food even lands on the table. Harry is chewing bread rather forcefully when he stops and says, “I just feel so lucky, Gem. I never thought he’d feel this way about me. I’d given up all hope, to be honest. I’ve always been too dumb for him, you know? He’s just so… he’s destined to do amazing things. Oh, did I tell you MIT is interested in him? Some big fancy school in America. I’m so proud of him. He’s probably going to leave, I don’t know how long for. I mean, he hasn’t said, actually. But he’s too smart not to g—”

“Take a breath, H.”

Harry stops speaking and swallows the bread in his mouth. “Gem, I love him so much. I’ve always loved him. I just… I want the best for him.”

The waiter comes over again, asking if they would like any more drinks, and Gemma waves him off. Harry’s delayed response in asking for another isn’t heard as the waiter has already left. “I think that’s enough alcohol, H.”

“Why?” Harry whines. “We’re celebrating me not being too dumb to be loved. S’worth celebrating, innit?”

“Alright, H, that’s definitely enough for you,” Gemma says.

Harry doesn’t remember how he got home that night, but he wakes up in his bed on Thursday with a massive headache and an intense need to piss.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

With his small duffle bag on his shoulder, Louis stands at the front door to Harry’s share house and knocks. This time he doesn’t wait long, and the door flies open, revealing a smiling Harry.

“Hi,” Harry breathes. “I missed you.”

Louis smiles and rolls his lips into his mouth in an attempt to conceal it. “Missed you too.”

When he walks inside, he sees Liam, Amber, Tyler, and another guy he hasn’t met, all splayed out on the sectional couch. A chorus of hellos and waves comes from them, and Louis returns it with a smile and wave. 

“We’re playing FIFA, wanna join?” Tyler asks while scratching his patch of exposed stomach.

Louis glances at Harry, trying to gauge his thoughts. Harry just shrugs in a nonchalant way, so Louis agrees. “Yeah, sure.” He dumps his bag at the end of the couch and flops down. Harry sits to the side of him in the corner of the couch.

“I’m Ethan,” the guy he hasn’t met before says, holding out his hand to shake.

“Louis. Nice to meet you.”

It’s fun; he has fun. The football guys that Harry lives with aren’t that bad, and Louis feels like they are starting to form a friendship. Liam is particularly nice, and he can see himself having been friends with him outside of this situation. Amber is funny as fuck, cracking jokes constantly, and even Ethan, who is quiet, means well enough. Louis can see himself fitting into Harry’s life really well, and his belly does a little flip at the thought.

As he’s playing the game and beating Tyler, he feels Harry’s hand slide onto his thigh. It surprises him, so he jumps, which makes Harry try to retract his hand. Louis captures his fingers quickly and places them back on his thigh. When his turn is up, he passes the controller to Ethan and then bravely links fingers with Harry. He can see Liam and Amber on the opposite corner of the L-shaped couch, watching them with soft smiles.

At some point, he’s handed a beer, and then another, and soon enough, the game is turned off and everyone is just drinking happily. He doesn’t know when, but somewhere along the way Zayn was invited because he shows up with pizza and more beer. Louis figures it’s not a party without Kelly, so he texts her, and she and Niall arrive an hour later.

Everyone is getting sufficiently drunk. Harry has his arm around Louis on the couch, and Louis can’t help but press into his side, letting Harry’s warmth seep into his skin.

“...and then I asked her out, and she said yes,” Liam finishes.

“Aww, that’s so cute,” Kelly coos. “How long have you been together now?” she asks Liam and Amber.

“Two years,” they say in unison, and then look at each other and laugh.

“So that makes me and Niall the freshest couple in here,” Kelly says and kisses Niall’s cheek.

“Nah, Haz and the prince only just got together,” Tyler chimes in.

“Oh, that’s…” Kelly whips her head around to Louis and looks at him confused. “I didn’t… You—”

“Alright, who wants another beer?” Louis cuts Kelly off to say while leaping up. “Anyone?” Everyone except for Liam raises their hands, and Louis heads to the kitchen to get the beers.

He jumps slightly when he turns back around and Kelly is behind him. She hits him on the shoulder, and he nearly drops the beers. “You shit! Why didn’t you tell me you two are official?”

“Because we’re not. Not really. I mean, we haven’t had ‘the talk’ yet. But I was thinking I’d bring it up with him tomorrow, when we’re not drunk. Ask him officially to be my boyfriend. If he says yes, then I’ll send Joey a text and cancel the date.”

“Bit rude, mate. Cancelling last minute.”

“Well, if Harry doesn’t want me, then at least I can go to the party and get trashed and maybe hook up with a hot guy. Beats crying into my pillow.” He shrugs and hands Kelly a few beers to carry back to the others.

“Fair. You know I’m here for you, babes, if you do need to cry.”

Louis gives Kelly a tight smile and says, “Yeah, thank you. Love you, Kel.”

She puts the beers down and wraps him in a hug before they both go back to the lounge room together. When he slides back down into Harry’s arms, Harry quietly says just to him, “Everything okay, baby?”

“Mmhmm, yeah. All good.” He leans up and kisses Harry’s lips, smiling.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry’s not in the bed when Louis wakes up on Friday morning. He’s alone, but surprisingly, he doesn’t feel that hungover. Maybe eating all the pizza before drinking the beer helped with that. Or maybe it was Harry’s relentless forcing of Louis to drink water throughout the night. Hmm, guess it’s a mystery.

He rolls over and stretches, picking his phone up off the bedside table to check the time. The first thing he sees is a message from Joey that he opts not to reply to yet.

Joey: Can’t wait to see you tonight. x

The second thing he sees is the time, it’s midday, and Louis sits up abruptly—he slept very late then, shit. He quickly slides on some of Harry’s comfy clothes, pees, and then starts to descend the stairs to find Harry.

About halfway down, the conversation in the lounge room becomes clear.

“So have you told William you love him yet?” he hears Amber ask.

Louis stops on the stairs, suspended midway, not visible to anyone in the lounge room yet, and listens.

Harry scoffs. “No way! I don’t want to scare him off. I’ve waited so long to tell him; I'm not going to spoil that.”

Louis’ confused. Who the fuck is William? Is this really happening?

Amber giggles, and there’s a pause before she speaks. “Have you planned some grand gesture then?”

“Ha ha. No. I will tell him... I’m just waiting until the right time. I’d love if he said it first. I can wait, you know. It’ll always be him for me, so I’m happy to just wait and take things at his pace.”

Louis’ world feels like it’s crashing down around him. Pieces of his heart now laying at his feet, ready for Harry to stomp on.

“God, you’re actually so disgusting. So you think William is going to say it anytime soon, then?”

“Nah, don’t think so. Don’t even know if he’s there yet. It hasn’t even been that long. I mean, I’ve loved William so long that I’ve had time to get used to it, you know? Damn, that feels weird to say.”

They both chuckle. “You should tell him, though, Harry. He deserves to know. Seeing you both together too, ahhh, it’s just so beautiful.”

“Thanks Amber. I know I have to tell Louis soon and—”

Louis doesn’t hear anymore of their conversation over the blood rushing in his ears as he ascends the stairs quickly. He returns to Harry’s room to compose himself. 

Right. Okay, so Harry is in love with someone else. Someone named William. And it seems he knows he needs to end things with Louis.

Louis feels stupid, like he’d built it up in his head that all this meant more to Harry. He’d clearly been wrong.

Of course Harry doesn’t want Louis; why would he? They are friends. They’ve always just been friends. This is an arrangement that both parties agreed to. It’s not romantic; there is no dating or promises here. Louis can’t even be mad because Harry never said there were feelings; he never said that he wanted more; Louis had just assumed. And now he feels like an ass.

Fuck, this must be why Harry disappeared for a few days when all this started. He was with William.

He paces back and forth in Harry’s room, inhaling deep breaths and getting whiffs of Harry’s cologne. It sends a pang through his chest.

What are his options here? He could end it now and go home, sad. He could end it and call Kelly, then go on his date. Or he could use this time, before Harry inevitably ends it, to have one last taste. Just to remember what it feels like to love someone. Then, he can go to the party with Joey, get shitfaced, and move on. The latter feels like the right option.

Is Harry cheating, then, though? Maybe he’s just been seeing William at the same time as or before Louis, and this was only ever short term to him so he never mentioned it, and maybe he and William aren’t exclusive yet.

Louis’ brain is whirring around at a million miles an hour. He can’t seem to make sense of anything or what to do, and then the door opens and Harry comes in with a hot cup of coffee, and that adorable fucking smile and any rational or moral thought leave his brain. He rushes across the room and captures Harry’s mouth in a kiss.

Harry pulls back, saying, “Hey, hey, wait, watch it. Hot coffee, baby.” 

Baby. That must be why he calls Louis ‘baby’, so he doesn’t mess up and call him the wrong name. Louis bets William is ‘baby’ too. 

In a desperate attempt to get the demons in his head to stop, Louis says, “I don’t care. I want you. Now.”

Harry places the coffee on the dresser by the door and practically growls as he lunges forward, throwing Louis onto the bed. “Fuck yeah, baby,” Harry says, then closes the distance between them.

The sex is different, more raw. It feels good. It feels final. 

Louis stands, bent over the bed, and Harry pounds into him from behind. He drapes himself over Louis’ back for most of it, though, kissing and sucking on his earlobe, saying, “You feel so good, baby. Love being inside you.” Louis wonders if Harry is imagining William when they are together. The thought sours his blood.

When they finish, Harry pulls out and collapses on the bed, and then taps his chest, beckoning Louis to come up and lay with him. He does, and Harry pulls him into a tight hug, tipping his chin up and kissing him passionately. A tear leaves Louis’ eye. 

He turns around, pressing his back into Harry’s chest, and they fall asleep.

A few hours later, around 4 p.m., Louis wakes up in Harry’s arms—a stark difference in atmosphere and mood from earlier that day when he woke up. The happiness and promise has been replaced with heartbreak and pain. He extracts himself from Harry’s possessive arms and goes to take a shower.

As he’s stepping into his jeans after his shower, Harry wakes up. “Hi gorgeous, where you going?”

“It’s Friday, Harry. I’ve got the date with Joey. You know, the whole reason for this.” He gestures between them with his hand but keeps his back to Harry as he does up the fly and button on his jeans.

There’s shuffling on the bed, and then Harry says, “Wait, what?” in a confused tone.

Louis sighs. “The date. With Joey. It’s tonight.”

“No, I heard you, but why?” Harry presses.

“What do you mean ‘why’? This was always the arrangement.”

Harry goes quiet for a beat, and Louis starts scouring the room for his t-shirt and hoodie. “But we just had sex…” Harry finally says incredulously.

“Yeah, and? That was literally the arrangement.” He pulls his t-shirt over his head.

“But… but you’re… you’re my boyfriend,” Harry says softly.

Louis turns around and scrunches his face at Harry, then slips his hoodie on. He walks over to the door and stops. Without facing Harry again, he says, “Maybe you really are as dumb as you say, then,” then quickly leaves, running down past the pieces of his broken heart on the staircase and out the front door.

He forgot his duffle bag, but it doesn’t matter right now. He just needs to get away before it hurts any more than it already does. He pulls out his phone, blocks Harry, texts Kelly, and then starts running to his flat, hoping the run works off the adrenaline and quiet his mind.

Louis: Kel, meet me at mine in 15. No excuses, need you now. Bring vodka.

Kelly: On my way, babes. 💋

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

“What the fuck hap— Oh, babes,” Kelly says as she enters Louis’ flat and sees him face down on the bed.

Louis hears the slide of the bottle of vodka on his desk and feels the dip in the bed where Kelly sits. She runs her acrylic nails through his hair and says softly, “What happened, LouLou?”

“He’s in love with someone else,” he says and groans, turning his head to face Kelly.

“The fuck? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I overheard him this morning talking to Amber. His name is William, and he said he’s been in love with him for a while. I feel so fucking stupid, Kel.”

She lies down on the bed next to him, face to face. She kisses the tip of his nose. “Fuck him, let’s get so drunk we forget about him, okay? Then get you dressed and looking hot as fuck for your date.”

Louis groans.

Kelly strokes his hair again and whispers, “It’ll hurt less soon, babes. Promise.”

They take shots of vodka and cringe while Louis tells Kelly the rest of the events of the day. She curses out Harry, and Louis flinches internally as her harsh words towards Harry hurt him. He feels like he needs to defend Harry, because his foolish heart hasn’t gotten the message yet and is still in love with him. Hopelessly so.

He takes another shot and tries to will his brain to forget. Kelly persuades him into a conversation about Joey, getting him to talk about all the things that he first liked about him. The words feel like acid on his tongue, so he takes another shot.

Around two hours and a total of five shots of vodka later, he’s positively drunk. He’s dressed up, wearing his fuck-me jeans and a plain white t-shirt with a maroon hoodie over the top. His hair is artfully tousled, and he’s wearing his expensive cologne. He should feel great, but he just feels lightheaded and empty.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Joey is waiting for him out the front of the party when he arrives. “Hey,” he says with a big smile. The smile is so big it causes dimples on his cheeks, and unfortunately, all Louis can think about as soon as he sees them is Harry’s dimples.

“Hey.” Louis hiccups midway through the greeting, so he repeats again, “Hey.” He feels a bit unsteady on his feet, but considering Joey is a nice guy, he doesn’t comment on that.

“You look nice,” Joey says. “That’s a really nice colour on you.” He places his hand on the small of Louis’ back and guides him into the party.

Louis trips up the step into the house and giggles. “Whoops.”

A little while later, somehow Louis has made it to the couch. He has a beer in his hand, and everyone is smoking joints inside anyway, so he decides to light a cigarette. What’s the difference really?

He looks around the room and sees people he recognises as Joey’s friends that he’s always with and a couple of people from class, but no one he knows very well. He turns to his right and watches as Joey animatedly tells his story, laughing and leaning forward to make his points. He makes sure to keep one arm around Louis, though.

Louis exhales his smoke to the side and then looks back at Joey. Joey smiles at him softly, placing his spare hand on Louis’ thigh. “You having a good time?” he asks as Louis inhales a drag of his cigarette.

Louis nods and breathes the smoke out. “Yep. Do you wanna do shots? Is there anything here we can do shots of?”

“Oh, um.” Joey laughs. “Let me go check. Be right back.”

He returns not long later with a bottle of tequila and two cups. “Tequila okay?”

Louis snatches the bottle playfully while winking at Joey, takes the lid off, and has a swig. “Yeah, that’ll do.”

“Jesus, okay then.” Joey sits back down against Louis and steals the bottle back, taking a swig of his own—the cups abandoned on the table.

“S’bit loud in ‘ere innit?” Louis slurs.

“Do you want to go somewhere quieter to talk?” Joey asks. “We could go out to the deck or up to my room?”

Louis purses his lips. “Up…” hiccup, “...stairs. Upstairs.” He stands up and immediately feels sick and dizzy. He stumbles a bit as he climbs the stairs and then finally feels somewhat okay again when he plonks down on Joey’s green bedspread. “Nice bed, s’comfy.” He runs his hands back and forth on the duvet. “Did you bring the tequila?”

“Oh, yep.” Joey hands him the bottle and Louis takes a gulp, spilling some on his mouth and wiping it off. He goes to hand the bottle back to Joey as a silent offer.

“No thanks,” he says, putting his hand up in a stop gesture. Joey sits on the bed next to Louis. “So, how was your last week of school?”

“S’good, played football. Hey, ‘ave you ever ‘eard of a glamping pod?”

“No, what’s that?”

“It’s… doesn’t matter. Di’you have a good week?” He’s trying to get his eyes to focus on Joey, but he’s seeing double, and it’s making him feel dizzy.

“Yeah, to be honest, I was nervous all week about seeing you. I think I’d kind of built it up in my head. You sort of ran out on me last time, and we’ve barely spoken since. I was convinced you were going to cancel on me.” He does a small huff.

Louis laughs. “As if I’d cancel on you, you’re so hot and nice,” he says, leaning closer to Joey.

“Well, I wasn’t sure. I just really like you, Louis. I was um… I was hoping we could go on a proper date over break. Like, to dinner or something. If you want?”

“Mmm, sounds good,” Louis says as he starts to crowd in on Joey more. He knows what he’s doing now; he learned all the things from Harry for this exact moment, so he closes the distance and kisses Joey. Having his eyes closed is not helping the dizzy feeling, so he opens them again, focusing on not being sick.

His drunken brain is confused and thinks he’s with Harry. He starts to feel up Joey’s chest, expecting the same hardness as Harry’s muscles. He frowns when he realises that it’s not the same body, not the right body. He trudges ahead, pushing Joey back onto the bed and straddling him.

Joey moans, and Louis feels his hands move to his waist. It feels suffocating for some reason, like they shouldn’t be there. He tries taking his hoodie and t-shirt off instead; maybe that’s what’s making him feel claustrophobic. 

Joey groans and runs his fingers up Louis’ chest and then behind his neck, pulling him back down into another kiss. “Mmm, baby,” Joey moans.

Baby. Louis freezes. This is wrong. He can’t do this. He doesn’t want to do this. He just wants Harry.

“I can’t do this,” he says as he scrambles off Joey’s lap and finds his t-shirt and hoodie. “I’m sorry, Joey. I can’t.”

“Are you okay, Louis? Did I say or do something wrong?” he asks, concerned.

Louis shakes his head when it pops out of the top of the hoodie. Bad idea. “No, s’just… I just… you’re not him. I’m sorry.” He rushes out of the room and out of the house.

He makes it two streets over before he stops and vomits, ridding himself of any excess alcohol. It’s bitter, and it burns, but he feels infinitely better afterwards. He stops in at a convenience store and picks up a bottle of water, an awful pre-made sandwich, and some minty gum.

He finds a seat at the bus shelter. After he’s sat there for a few minutes, drinking his water, eating his sandwich, and levelling his head, he thinks about where Harry could be right now. He has to go to him; he has to just tell him how he feels; maybe it’ll change things, maybe it won’t, but he’ll feel better. If Harry rejects him to his face, then at least he knows he has to move on. This time, he’ll actually just let himself cry into the pillow.

It’s Friday night, so Harry’s either going to be at home or at the Cricketers pub. The pub is closest, so fueled by drunken reasoning, he decides to check there first. He’s still drunk, but he feels a lot less dizzy than he did earlier. 

He swings open the door of the pub, feeling excited, and scans the crowd. Harry is sitting at the bar, and Louis’ heart leaps in his chest. But Harry’s chair is swivelled around and facing the person next to him. Louis doesn’t know who it is, he’s never seen this guy before. 

Oh. Oh, it must be William.

He knows he should leave—admit defeat—but his feet are rooted to the floor. Cemented down into the wood panelling. He couldn’t move, even if he wanted to. An insurmountable force would need to intervene.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry’s chest hurts. Like in the way that you have something caught. It feels tight and choked off. The guy next to him won’t leave him alone, but he’s too tired to fight him off. Besides, he kind of looks a bit like Louis in his peripherals, so if he squints, he can imagine he’s just on a date with the man he loves and not some random guy from their uni.

He’s not, though. He knows that.

“...every game. You’re just so captivating to watch. I don’t know how everyone doesn’t see what I see,” the Not-Louis guy says, touching Harry’s arm.

Harry’s just on the right side of inebriated to let the advances in. He turns in his chair and smiles at Not-Louis. The guy steps off his stool and walks between Harry’s legs. Harry parts them further to give him room. Not-Louis’ hands land on Harry’s thighs, rubbing up and down. Harry places his hand on the guy's cheek, swallows the feeling inside him that’s screaming wrong, and kisses him. 

When Harry pulls back from the sub-par kiss, already thinking of excuses for how to get out of this now that he’s started it, he sees movement over this guy's shoulder by the door. Louis.

He stares, dumbfounded, and meets Louis’ eye. Louis actually looks sad—heartbroken, even.  Everything inside Harry is telling him to run to him, hold him, and don’t let him go. But he can't; his limbs feel heavy, and he’s tangled up for some reason. They hold eye contact for about ten seconds, and then Louis’ face turns stormy as he stomps towards Harry.

“So that’s the fucking reason you agreed to us, then? Because I look like him,” he spits. Louis looks the guy up and down and then turns his fiery gaze back on Harry. “Am I just some knock-off William to you? You know what? Fuck you, Harry. Fuck you!”

“What? Louis, no, it’s not like that!” Harry pleads. 

Louis turns around before he can even finish what he’s saying and pushes his way through the crowd and out of the pub.

Harry struggles to get free. Not-Louis is clinging to him, and his extremely intoxicated lack of coordination isn’t allowing him to pry the hands off him. He slips when he tries to move his foot to the ground, and the Not-Louis guy catches him. It’s enough of a distraction that Harry is able to use that momentum to finally detach himself from Not-Louis and he runs to the door, frantically swinging it open and looking both ways.

He doesn’t see Louis, so he just stands outside the pub with his fingers threaded on top of his head and exhales a big sigh.

About to go back inside, he looks down the right side of the pub and sees a red ember alight in the darkness. Smoking. Louis.

He clumsily runs towards him. “Louis! Oh my God!”

“Fuck off, Harry.”

The cold air is hitting Harry and wrapping around his body. He didn’t have time to grab his coat. “Little Lou, it’s not what you think.”

Louis takes a step towards him, points his cigarette at him, and, in a controlled and angry voice, says, “Don’t fucking call me that. You don’t ever get to call me that again!”

“M’sorry Lou. I didn’t even—”

“No, Harry. Don’t. You don’t need to apologise; you never fucking promised me anything. We weren’t exclusive. You had every right to be dating and fucking whoever you wanted. Jesus Christ, I…” Louis takes a step back and throws his arms in the air. “I’m so glad we used a condom; who fucking knows where that thing’s been? Fuck.” He nods with his head towards Harry’s dick.

Harry’s swaying as he stands, too drunk to be having this conversation. He needs Louis to know. “You’re William,” Harry manages to say.

Louis guffaws and then scoffs. “No, Harry. I’m Louis. But go, go back to William. Have a nice life.”

Louis is halfway down the block before Harry thinks to react. He slumps down onto the pavement and holds his head.

He feels sick.

It’s over.

He lost him.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Chapter Text

Blocked. It’s the only explanation. He’s been blowing up Louis’ phone for just over twenty four hours now, but none of his messages seem to be sending, and he’s unable to call him.

He contemplated asking Liam to borrow his phone, but the embarrassment of being rejected and the pain in his heart stopped him. 

Without really knowing what to do, Harry decides going home to visit his mum is the best course of action. It’s Easter break anyway, there’s nothing here for him right now, and the idea of three weeks of being that close to Louis without being able to see him sounds dreadful. He packs a bag and goes to the train station. Once seated, headphones in, he stares out the window and tries to let go of the hope he once had.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Louis allows himself two days to mope—just two. Then he forces himself to get up, dust himself off, and move on. He’s still so angry at Harry, but also at himself. He feels stupid that he fell for it, that he developed feelings for the first person he had sex with. He’s such a cliche.

Even though he’s decided to force himself to move on and get over Harry, he’s still not ready to do anything with anyone else; that’ll take more time. Though he does feel bad, so he texts Joey to meet up so that he can explain.

Louis opens the door to the cafe and waves at Joey, who is sitting in the far corner with two drinks in front of him. He slings his bag over his head and places it on the ground before sitting down opposite Joey.

“Hey,” Louis says. “Thanks for meeting me.”

“Hi, yeah. How are you? Are you okay?”

Louis laughs dryly. “I will be. Hey, listen, I wanted to apologise in person for the way I acted. It wasn’t fair to you, and you didn’t deserve it, so I’m sorry.” He looks at Joey sincerely.

Joey gives Louis a soft smile. “Thank you. I appreciate that. So, what happened? If I may ask.”

Taking a sip of the tea Joey bought him, Louis glances over the cup. “I probably should have cancelled our date sooner. I was already really drunk when I showed up. I um… I sort of fell for someone else, hard. I didn’t mean to drag you into it. I’m sorry.” He looks down at the table, feeling ashamed.

“Styles right?”

Hearing his name makes Louis stomach cramp. “Yeah,” he says quietly.

“I thought so,” Joey starts, not unkindly. “Everyone told me not to go after you, you know? Not because there’s anything wrong with you, don’t get me wrong. You’re gorgeous and smart, and kind and… and I’m getting off topic. But I was warned. My friends said they saw you with Styles a few times. That you seemed smitten with each other, and I wouldn’t stand a chance against him. They saw you when you were at his game last week, cheering him on and not so discreetly kissing after. They even saw him yelling about ‘devouring’ you outside this cafe earlier this week. But I figured that this with us was new, you know? You're free to date whoever, and maybe you were dating him already, maybe you weren't, but you were still talking to me, so I ignored my friends. I even ignored when Tasha told me she saw you two making out in the rain on the football pitch. I just assumed that it was casual, didn’t mean anything, or you’d tell me. My friends were just looking out for me; they knew how much I liked you—how long I’d had a crush on you for.”

“Joey… I—”

“No, it’s fine, Louis. Can’t help how you feel, can you?” He shrugs and gives a lopsided smile. “So, are you guys together now? Officially?”

Louis swallows the lump in his throat and looks away from Joey, out over the line of people waiting for their drinks. “No, um, that’s over. Seems he’s in love with someone else. Karma, amirite?”

Joey reaches across the table and takes Louis’ hand. “I’m really sorry, Louis. I’m here if you need a friend. Anytime. No hidden agenda, promise.”

“Thanks.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Going to see his mum was a bad idea. Well, not all bad. It’s nice having his clothes washed for him, breakfast made every day, and having someone to give him a hug when his mind drifts back to Louis. But she also worries and frets, and sometimes he just can’t handle it.

Gemma is coming in a few days, and he’s looking forward to having her here as a buffer of sorts. Although he’s not looking forward to telling her that he was a fucking idiot and made incorrect assumptions that inevitably ended up in him losing Louis for good. She’s going to give him such a hard time.

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong yet?” his mum, Anne, asks as she sits down on the couch next to Harry.

Harry sighs. “I lost him.”

“Who, sweetheart?”

“Louis.”

Anne furrows her brow. “Louis? From down the street? What do you mean?”

“I had him, or I thought I did. But I lost him. He came to his senses, I guess.” Harry sniffles.

“Honey, you’re going to have to give me more specifics here.”

Harry wracks his brain for a way to explain this to his mum without basically outing the fact that he agreed to casual sex with his ex best friend. “Um, we… started seeing each other. A couple of weeks ago. And, well, you know, I’ve always had a thing for him… I thought he felt the same way. Thought we were together for real. Got my hopes up and everything.”

“But you’re not together now? Why?” she asks gently then adds, “Didn’t you say he was dating that Joey fella?”

Harry curls further in on himself on the couch, pulling the sleeves of his jumper down over his hands and wiping his eyes. “No. He um, he went on a date with the guy he actually likes, Joey yeah, and I was so hurt that I got stupidly blind drunk and kissed another guy just because he looks like Louis. Louis saw. I didn’t even know he was there. I don’t even know why he was there. But he wouldn’t listen to me after, and then he blocked me. So I guess he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

Anne pulls Harry’s arms apart and drags him into a tight hug, stroking his back soothingly. “Oh, sweetheart. It sounds like you two need to have a proper conversation. That behaviour doesn’t sound like the sweet Louis that I know.”

Harry clutches onto his mum. “I know, but I’m blocked, and he won’t talk to me. I’ll try when we go back to school.”

Anne keeps rubbing his back and kisses his forehead. “Okay honey. Just remember you are worthy of love, no matter what, okay? Don’t let anyone treat you any less.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Usually, Louis goes home for Easter break, but his mum and sisters are actually away this year. On a cruise nonetheless. So, he didn’t see the point in going back to an empty house when he could just be in his empty flat instead anyway, matching his empty heart.

Almost two weeks have gone by since his confrontation with Harry outside the pub, and Louis’ not as angry as he was last week. That emotion seems to have shifted into an aching longing instead. A wish to fix things, to undo everything and make it right. Still, he can’t bear the thought of seeing Harry and William happy and in love, so he’s been avoiding all places he knows Harry likes to hang out.

Out on a walk one day to clear his head, he decides to walk through the campus grounds, knowing there’s a great seat under the big tree on the far side of campus. He wasn’t expecting to see anyone, as most everyone goes home for Easter and there are no classes. So it’s a surprise when he sees Liam.

“Hey Liam!” he calls out happily. Even though Liam is Harry’s best friend, he felt a kinship with him immediately, so he doesn’t expect what happened between him and Harry to sour that. He’s eager for them to stay friends.

Liam walks up to him and stops. “Why won’t you talk to Harry?” he says instead of a greeting.

“Um… is that really any of your business?” He feels his hackles rise from being made to feel like the one in the wrong.

“Wow, I really didn’t think you were this cold, Louis. You know, I was so happy when you two got together. You made him so happy, and it was transformative to see how he was. To see him with actual feelings for someone, especially after so long just…” Liam stops and shakes his head. “I never took you as someone who would play with someone's feelings like that.”

“Excuse me, Liam. What the fuck? You have no idea what really happened. How dare you come at me when Harry is the one who was in love with someone else the whole time. He was the one fucking with my emotions if you want to get technical,” Louis says, outraged and offended.

Liam takes a step back, crosses his arms, looks at Louis disappointedly and says, “You know, Louis, for a smart guy, you sure can be really, really dumb sometimes.” He scoffs and starts to walk away.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Louis spits as he turns around and grabs Liam’s arm.

“Louis. William. Tomlinson,” is all Liam says before yanking his arm from Louis’ hold and storming off.

Louis stands there with his lips parted and eyes wide, stupefied and in shock.

“What the fuck?” he whispers to himself.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Louis’ head is spinning. Everything he thought he understood was just turned on its head. He’s suddenly hit with an influx of memories—an influx of things Harry has had to him.

I had a crush on you when we were kids. Maybe he wasn’t lying, maybe he did. Oh, fuck, does this mean he’s liked him for years?

So have you told William you love him yet? Amber's words now feel completely different. Was she talking to Harry about how much Harry loved Louis? This means people knew, they knew , and Louis didn’t.

I’ve loved William so long that I’ve had time to get used to it, you know? Louis feels sick as more memories accost him.

But… but you’re… you’re my boyfriend.

Maybe you really are as dumb as you say, then. A sharp pain followed by a dull ache settles in Louis’ core, and bile starts to rise in his throat. The man he loves loves him too, and he was so awful to him.

You’re William.

No, Harry. I’m Louis. But go, go back to William. Have a nice life.

The realisation that he is, in fact, the problem is so visceral that the low-level self loathing takes a violent turn and drowns him in I told you so’s. His inner demons are gripping his mind and heart, winning.

He has to make it right. Even if he’s fucked it up beyond repair, he needs to at least try to get Harry to hear his apology.

He springs into action, running to Harry’s house and banging on the door relentlessly. “Harry!” he yells. “Harry, are you in there?!” bang, “Open up!” bang, bang. “Harry, please!”

The door swings open, but it’s not Harry; it’s Tyler. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Louis peers behind Tyler, trying to see into the house. “I need to talk to Harry. Is he here?”

“Why would I tell you?” Tyler crosses his arms over his chest and leans on the doorframe.

“Oh, for fucks sake, I know, okay? I fucked up. I’m trying to make it right. Is he here?”

Tyler smirks. “Well, you’re shit outta luck. He went back home two weeks ago. You’d know that if you hadn’t fucking cut him off and blocked him.”

“Thanks!” Louis says, running back down the steps. He doesn’t have time to get into it with Tyler. He needs to find Harry.

He rushes back to his flat, packs a bag, and gets on the first train to his hometown that he can. On his trip, he comes up with a perfect plan, if only he can execute it right.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

There’s only one week left before Harry has to go back, and he’s avoiding it at all costs. He’s so afraid of facing Louis and finally telling him how he feels, fearing he’s still going to be rejected. He knows that he needs to do it for himself in order to properly move on, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to hurt any less.

He’s in his mum's kitchen, baking muffins—experimental white chocolate and raspberry with rose water—when he hears his phone ping in the other room. After he slides the muffins into the oven, he decides to check his phone before cleaning up.

Louis: I’m sorry. Meet me at Mick’s at 4:30. Please.

Harry’s heart starts to thrash in his chest, pounding so hard that he’s worried he’s going to pass out. He truly didn’t think he would hear from Louis until he was back at uni. He has to take a seat on the arm of the couch to compose himself. He doesn’t even know if he should reply or if he should just show up. Louis clearly knows that he’s here, so he has to have some level of certainty that Harry will see this and go to Mick’s.

He checks the time and sees that it’s currently 3 p.m. Great, he’s got an hour to panic. Anne and Gemma went out to see a film, so he can’t even talk to them right now. They aren’t due back until after he’s meant to meet Louis. He slumps down onto the couch and focuses on breathing.

The oven timer rings fifteen minutes later, and it prompts him to get back up, feeling no more calm than he did before he laid down.

He takes the muffins out of the oven and places them on the wire rack to cool. If he’s going to see Louis, maybe he should take him a muffin. He’s the only one who knows about Harry’s dreams to become a pastry chef; maybe this will help soften any blow that is coming Harry’s way. He decides then that he’ll bring two of the muffins and leave the other four for his family to eat later.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry walks down the familiar pavement outside the shops that he’s been coming to all his life. Past the bakery, the butcher, the flower shop, and then down to Mick’s Mixes, one of his favourite places on earth. He stands just out of view and takes a few deep breaths to steel himself.

The door triggers the little brass bell to ding as he walks in, and his breath is positively stolen when he looks down the length of the shop. His eyes scanning over all the old records and inhaling the scent of used vinyl.

There are fairy lights strung up everywhere, creating a magical glow around the room. His favourite music is spinning through the shop’s speakers, and Louis is at the end of the racks, standing next to a picnic blanket covered in food and roses.

“Bit cheesy, I know,” Louis says. “Hi.”

“Wha…” Harry can’t find the words. He closes the shop door and flips the open sign to closed, locking the door. He doesn’t care; he doesn’t want anyone to come in and ruin this.

“Um, first of all, H, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you, like, ever. I’m sorry that you got hurt in the process.”

Harry walks down the closest aisle until he meets Louis at the end. “Where’s Mick?”

“Oh, he, um, he loaned me the shop. He’s not here right now.”

“Okayyy. What is all this? Why are you here?”

Louis sighs and fixes his fringe. So he’s nervous, then. “Okay, um, so, well, I guess there is no other way to say this other than to just say it.” He pauses and looks Harry in the eye, his blue eyes sparking where they are reflecting the fairy lights. “I love you, Harry. I fell in love with you almost instantly when this all started. To be honest, I probably loved you longer and didn’t even realise it. Never been the smartest in matters of the heart.” He takes a step closer to Harry and Harry inhales sharly, feeling his heart beat rapidly in his chest. “And I know I messed up, really bad. I needed to make it right, and you needed to know how I felt. I needed you to know.” He smiles at Harry and puts his hands out, silently asking for Harry’s.

Harry puts his container with muffins on the rack next to him and then places his hands in Louis’. The moment they grip onto each other, he yanks Louis towards him, then grabs his face and pulls him in for a desperate kiss. their lips colliding in a matched heat. He can’t help but smile halfway through the kiss, feeling elation like he’s never felt before. 

He starts to giggle, and Louis pulls back with a frown. “Why are you laughing?”

“I’m just so… happy. Lou, I fucking love you so much. God, do I fucking love you. You have no idea.” He picks Louis up and spins him around, pinning him to the wall to their left. Louis slides down Harry’s chest slowly until his feet hit the ground and they hold eye contact.

“Do you forgive me?” Louis whispers.

“It’s not even a question, baby. I’m yours, always.”

They kiss again, and Harry revels in the feeling. When they sit down to enjoy the picnic, Harry’s muffins, and the lights as the sky outside gets darker, Louis leans over the blanket and puckers his lips. After a chaste peck, he says, “Do you want to come back to mum’s with me? Her and the girls are away at the moment, so we have the whole house to ourselves.”

Ideas filter through Harry’s brain. Long laid sleeping fantasies of being with Louis in his childhood bedroom come flooding back into his mind with force. “I’d love to.”

They pack everything in the shop up and lock it all down before leaving, and the two of them walk back to Louis’ mum’s house, hand in hand. As they are walking, Harry sees two boys ride past them on bikes, laughing and having fun. For a moment, he thinks it’s him and Louis when they’re around fourteen, but he shakes his head and glances back, realising that it’s not them. Further down the road, there are two kids outside the convenience shop eating ice cream. One of them sticks their finger in the ice cream and wipes it on the face of the other. For a flash, he remembers when Louis did that to him when they were nine, sticking the ice cream in his dimples. The children in front of him morph momentarily into him and Louis but quickly switch back when their parents call after them.

They continue to walk and cross through the park. It seems Harry can’t help but see all the kids out and playing as versions of him and Louis—them growing up and spending all their time together, laughing and running around. It’s a warm feeling, to be walking the familiar road with Louis by his side again.

Harry never thought he would be back here with the love of his life in his hands. He doesn’t know how long this is going to last or if it’s going to slip through his fingers again. He knows that Louis is likely leaving to go to America in September, so he wants to mark this moment and do something new and special. He wants to give Louis a first.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

The door closes behind them when they step into Louis’ childhood home, and Harry immediately says. “I want you to fuck me.” It’s an eerie mirror of the words Louis said to him a month ago when this all began. “I’ve never actually, um, that way, I’ve never.”

Louis jaw drops for a second, and he noticeably swallows, then licks his lips, closing his mouth. “Okay, yeah,” he says breathily. 

Louis holds out his hand, and Harry places his shaking fingers in his palm. He leads him upstairs, down the familiar hall, and into the blue bedroom at the end on the right. He draws the curtains when they get inside and switches on the lamp instead.

Harry takes his jumper and t-shirt off, and Louis does the same. They stand about a metre apart, looking at each other as they both slowly abandon all their clothes. Once they are both naked and breathing heavily, soft cocks laying limp, they take a step towards each other.

Harry feels Louis’ smooth, caramel skin brushing all over his own. It feels so good to hold him, to have him—for Louis to finally be his. Harry leans down and kisses Louis’ shoulder tenderly, working his way closer and closer to his face. Louis sighs quietly while running his hands up Harry’s back.

He stops behind Louis’ ear and places a deliberate kiss there, then whispers right into Louis’ ear, “I’ve only ever loved you, baby.” Louis shudders and runs both hands through Harry’s hair.

Climbing onto the bed, Harry tries to steady his pulse. His heart is rabbiting in his chest, and he’s overwhelmed. Louis seems a little nervous too, but appears to be holding it together better. He drapes himself on top of Harry and kisses under his chin, the action forcing Harry’s head up. “You still want this?” he asks, then bites Harry’s jaw.

“Yes.”

Louis’ tongue trails all the way down the length of Harry’s body, starting at his neck and ending on his cock. Harry lets out small, breathy pants as Louis licks, his abs quivering as Louis lightly brushes over them.

Harry’s previously soft cock is coming to life under Louis’ attention, fattening up inside his mouth. Louis lazily sucks him. He sucks up and down and around the head, just enough to tease. Harry’s toes start to curl, and Louis increases his suction. “Lou, Louis… you need to… stop.”

Louis pops off with a smirk and crawls back up Harry’s body. “What position do you want, babe?”

The words aren’t processing inside Harry’s head right away. Louis is brushing his fingers lightly over Harry's forehead, and Harry’s just staring into his eyes. “On our sides, I want you to hold me.”

Louis reaches over to the side table and collects a condom and lube. Right as he’s about to rip the condom open, Harry grabs his wrist. “I’m clean, and I haven’t been with anyone else. I’d… I’d like to feel you. Um, if you’ve also not been with anyone else.”

“I haven’t. Just you.” Louis places the condom back on the bedside table and uncaps the lube, lubing up his dick as Harry turns onto his side.

Louis runs his lube-slick fingers through Harry’s crack and over his rim. He pulls his cheek apart and uses the head of his dick to brush over Harry’s hole. Just running it up and down the length of his crack and pressing lightly on his hole as he passes.

“Mmm,” Harry hums. “Such a tease, I should have known.”

Louis giggles softly. “Just getting you warmed up, darling.”

He presses the slippery head of his cock into Harry’s hole, just barely, then pulls out. He does it again, and then again, and then he stays. He holds Harry’s hip as he starts to slowly sink in, letting out a loud, deep groan as he starts to get deeper. “Fuck,” he says and drops his head down, kissing between Harry’s shoulder blades.

As he gets deeper and deeper and starts to bottom out, he slides his arm under Harry’s neck and splays his hand on his chest. His other arm comes wrapping around him at the same time, like a safety harness, to lock him in and keep him from falling off the earth.

Harry arches his back so his ass sticks out more, and Louis is able to thrust in and out easier without letting go. He links their fingers together on his chest and squeezes as Louis’ thrusts pick up.

They move in sync, working together to get the friction and movements smooth. Louis keeps moaning into his ear, and it sends shivers down Harry’s sweaty skin. He wants to touch his dick; in fact, he wants Louis to touch his dick, but he also doesn’t want to let go.

Understanding and anticipating Harry’s needs better than he thought anyone could, Louis detangles one of his hands and says, “Don’t panic, love, I’m not leaving, just want you to feel good.”

His hand travels down and grasps Harry’s hard cock, pumping slowly in time with his deep, punishing thrusts that are hitting Harry’s prostate over and over.

“I want you to come in me,” Harry confesses.

Louis bites Harry’s earlobe and picks up his pace. Both of them are moaning loudly with each thrust, and with a final deep press of his hips, Louis comes inside Harry. The overwhelming sensations combine in a perfect storm when Louis says, “I love you, Harry,” and Harry comes in a mess all over the bed with a shudder.

They stay linked together, breathing and coming down from their highs. Harry turns his head, and Louis meets him for a kiss. When Louis pulls back, he smiles and says, “Harry Styles, will you be my boyfriend, officially?”

Harry giggles, sticks his tongue out, and says playfully, “I thought I already was.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Chapter Text

Epilogue

Harry’s alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m., blasting through the room and waking him and Louis up. Loan groans and turns over, covering his head with the pillow. Harry decides to let him sleep a little longer as it’s his birthday, and they already have everything packed for the airport that evening anyway.

In the three and a half years that they’ve been together, Harry has never seen Louis get up before him. Even since moving to America three years ago and with Louis attending MIT, he is still consistently not a morning person.

Harry doesn’t mind, though. He just gets up and puts the kettle on. He preps the tea or coffee and pastry of choice and waits for Louis to wander out in search of caffeine. He always does, sometimes wearing clothes, sometimes not. Harry appreciates him either way.

The decision to move to America had been an easy one for Harry, but he still hid it from Louis until the last minute, worried that he wouldn’t approve.

Louis accepted the scholarship and position at MIT to advance his studies in AI language processing only with full prompting from Harry. Louis didn’t want to break up or have a long distance relationship after they had only been together for five months. Harry knew Louis needed to go, and he refused to hold him back, so he insisted that Louis accept the offer.

About a week later, Harry got the acceptance into the Cambridge School of Culinary Arts that he’d applied for in Massachusetts. He spent the whole day baking a cake, he was going to do a whole big reveal and surprise Louis in a grand way, but he’s a terrible liar, and he blurted it out as soon as they saw each other when Louis got home. He hadn’t even finished the frosting on the cake. 

Louis was shocked and then ecstatic. They decided to make a go of it, move to America, and see how things went both between them and at their respective schools.

That was three years ago now. Harry has finished his two years at CSCA and has been working as an assistant pastry chef at La Saison bakery for a year now. He’s learned so much in his time there, and he’s been thinking about opening his own bakery. Even has a name picked out. Though, he’d like to do that back in England.

Louis finished and graduated from college—with honours—though he still attends MIT daily as he’s continuing his development in AI language processing there in a paid position.

They’re happy, life is good.

“Morning,” Louis says, rubbing his eye as he walks towards Harry and wraps his arms around Harry’s waist, kissing him.

“Ugh, Lou, morning breath, c’mon.” Harry pushes him away.

Louis laughs and breathes in his face. “You love it.”

“Tea?”

“Ooooh, yes, thanks.” Louis makes grabby hands.

Harry hands Louis his tea, and they both sit at their kitchen table, eating yesterday's croissants that Harry made as they wake up.

“Happy Birthday,” Harry says and slides a cupcake in front of Louis with a single candle in it.

“Thanks, babe.” He blow the candle out and Harry wonders if he made a wish.

“Is Lottie still good to pick us up from the airport when we land tomorrow?”

“Yeah, should do. She said to text her before takeoff so she knows if we’re running late.”

“It’s going to be so nice to be home. I miss England. I miss our families!”

“Mmm, me too, baby.”

Louis gets up and leans down to kiss Harry. “Love you,” he says, then walks their plates to the sink and washes them.

Harry smiles to himself. “Love you too.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

They spend the day relaxing together. Just watching movies and enjoying the rare moment where neither of them has to work. Harry makes lunch for them, and they eat while discussing where they are going to move next. Juggling the idea of staying in America for another year or moving back to England. They tentatively decide on at least one more year in America, and Louis starts making a list of requirements for their next rental, not wanting to continue to live with the issues that they’ve had in this place.

Louis moves back to the couch, and Harry goes to the bathroom, ducking into their room on the way back. He comes out of the bedroom holding Louis’ present behind his back and grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“What have you done?” Louis asks.

Harry feigns innocence. “Nothing, just got you this,” he says, whipping the gift out from behind his back and placing it on Louis’ lap, taking a seat next to him on the couch.

Louis glances at the gift and then gives Harry a sly smile. “Is it dirty?” he asks.

Harry slaps his shoulder. “Just open it, baby.”

The ripping of the paper fills the room, and Harry’s anticipation of Louis’ reaction to the gift is making his palms sweaty. Finally, the paper is fully removed, and Louis has the plain black box sitting on his lap. He pulls the lid up and moves the tissue paper out of the way, then gasps.

Harry’s eyes are glued to Louis’ face, watching every minute twitch of muscle. 

“What do you think?” Harry asks, no longer able to wait.

Louis swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “You got me personalised handcuffs that say ‘kitten’?” He turns to face Harry, and his cheeks are pink. “Harry, I love them. I love you.” He leans over and kisses Harry.

Harry releases a breath, the tension and anticipation leaving his body. "Oh, thank God. I thought you hated them for a second there. But also, there’s more in there.” He reaches over and pulls back the tissue paper a fraction so that Louis can see.

Under the tissue paper is the second gift, lying flat on the bottom. Louis reaches in and pulls it out. “And a paddle that imprints a ‘H’?” He raises his eyebrows at Harry.

Harry feels heat rush over his body. “Yeah, that one’s also for me.”

“That’s what you think. This is amazing, babe. I love everything. Fuck, why did you give us these when we’re about to fly home to be with our families?”

Harry smirks and says, "Well, we have a few hours and nothing to do before the airport... So I was thinking, does kitten wanna play?”

Louis grabs the paddle and the handcuffs and runs to their room, with Harry chasing after him. Harry sets up the new cuffs by attaching them to the bed, while Louis gets naked and drapes himself over the bed. 

Harry laughs. “Eager, are we?”

“Well, it is my birthday after all, isn't it? Feel like I should get what I want.”

Harry straps him in and picks the paddle up, testing it on his hand a couple of times to get Louis worked up and ready. Each snap of the paddle on his palm, he sees Louis brace, as if the spank is meant for him.

Harry drags the end of the paddle lightly over Louis’ ass, back and forth, and then pulls back and lands the first spank. He watches as the blood rushes to Louis’ ass cheek, everywhere except for the ‘H’ in the centre.

Louis pants, and Harry lands another on the other cheek. Two matching ‘H’ symbols are on both of Louis’ ass cheeks. He rubs his hand soothingly over them and says, “Colour, kitten?”

“Green.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Lottie is there when they land, and she drives them to Louis’ childhood home. His mum, his stepdad, and Gemma are all already there. Louis and Harry grab their suitcases and make their way inside. 

After dropping their stuff in Louis’ old room, they head downstairs. Louis goes outside for a smoke, and Harry takes the opportunity he’s been waiting for.

He grabs Jay and Lottie and pulls them into the living room, where Anne, Robin, Gemma, Daisy, and Phoebe are all sitting, and directs them to the couch.

“Right, I have to speak fast, so listen up. I have a plan. I want to ask Lou to marry me.” They all start to erupt, and Harry waves his arms around to get them to settle down. “Shhh, christ!” He looks behind him and can see Louis still out on the deck smoking.

“Okay, so I want to ask Lou to marry me, next year, at Christmas. I need all of you to help. I’m going to present the idea of an ‘Ugly Christmas Jumper’ competition for next year at dinner, and I need enthusiasm from all of you. I need each one of you to wear a custom Christmas jumper next year that I’ll have specially made. If all goes according to plan, you’ll all be out the front when Little Lou and I arrive.”

They all stare at him in silence, hanging on his every word, waiting for him to continue.

“That’s it. You can speak now.”

“Oh my God.”

“Amazing, Haz!”

“I’m so happy for you, sweetheart!”

More cheers and happiness cloud the room, and everyone hugs Harry. 

Louis comes in just as Jay is pulling back from the hug. “What’s happening in here, then?”

“Oh, Harry here was just telling us about how he wants to open his own bakery one day. The Rose & Dagger. So proud of you.” She squeezes Harry’s cheeks.

“Mm, I’m proud of him too. My extremely talented boyfriend,” Louis says as he threads his arms around Harry from behind.

Everyone is looking at them a bit doe-eyed so Harry glares, and they all snap to and start to move.

“Right, back to that Christmas dinner, I guess,” Jay says. “Anne, would mind lending a hand?”

Christmas dinner is lovely, and everyone agrees to participate in the ugly sweater competition for next year.

One year—that's all he has to wait until he can finally ask Louis to be his forever.

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

“Lou! Come on!” Harry yells

Louis adjusts the collar of the ugly red jumper he’s wearing, trying to get it to sit right. “I’m coming, babe. Hold your horses!” 

“We’re gonna be late!”

Louis sighs and surrenders. After four years together, Harry still gets what he wants, always. He walks out into the hall of their Airbnb, holding his arms out to the side. “Well?” he asks and then drops his arms, slapping his thighs in the process. 

Harry’s dimples pop out immediately, and suddenly the itchy wool feels worth it. “You’re wearing it!” he screeches. Harry comes running down the hall and picks Louis up with his arms under his bum, spinning him around. “You’re wearing it for me, aren’t you? Even after all that protesting that you did,” he teases.

“Of course, babe! No one else I'd subject myself to this itchy fabric or horrid print for. Two elves getting married, really, Harry?” Harry tilts his chin up, and Louis kisses him and sighs. “It's always for you, though, babe.”

Harry loosens his arms and Louis slowly slides down his chest until they are more level. “I love you so much, kitten.” He kisses Louis. “So,” kiss, “fucking,” kiss, “much,” kiss.

“Hey now, no time for ‘kitten’. We’re going to see our parents. ‘Kitten’ stays very far away from all of them.”

Harry palms Louis’ dick through his trousers, leaving a wet and messy kiss on the corner of his mouth, and then stands up straight. Flattening his own red and green Christmas jumper with a question mark on it that’s wearing a Santa hat and sunglasses. 

“We’re soooo gonna win, Lou! There’s no question about it,” he says, pointing at the question mark on his chest.

“You’re such a dork. You know I’ll still ride you tonight anyway!”

“But you won’t wear the jumper unless we win! And we’re so gonna win.” Harry laughs as they close the front door and head into the car. “Have you got the gifts?”

“Fuck, wait here. Be right back.”

When Louis comes bounding back out with two large bags of gifts in his hands, he immediately drops them the moment he locks eyes with Harry. 

Harry is in front of the car, on one knee, holding a ring box. 

“I was meant to wait. I wasn’t meant to do it yet, but I just couldn’t wait any longer. Louis Tomlinson, I have spent my whole life loving you. I don’t even know how to exist without loving you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I want to be yours forever. Will you marry me?”

Louis stands there, shocked, with his jaw dropped and tears in his eyes. “Of course, babe. Yes! Of course. Fuck!”

Harry leaps to his feet and scoops Louis into his arms. “Yeah?” he asks, and Louis nods. “Okay, good. I love you, but we’re so late! C’mon.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆

Harry drives, and when they pull up outside his mum’s house, everyone is out the front, all in a line. It’s odd. 

It’s not until they get closer that he sees everyone’s Christmas jumpers and realises they spell out ‘Marry Me’.

“What?” He turns towards Harry, and Harry is shaking his head, looking at his lap. “You had all this planned, and you couldn’t wait ten more minutes to execute it?” He laughs brightly. “Fuck, Haz, that’s so funny.”

“I tried, okay!? I just couldn’t wait. I had this all prepared, but in the end, I wanted the moment to be just us. Please pretend you’ve just seen this and said yes now. Don’t let everyone know I caved and already asked. They’ve all been so excited to be part of it that I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“You really are something special, Harry,” Louis says, and Harry leans over the centre console and kisses him. Harry jumps out of the car, runs over to the line of loved ones, and takes his place at the end of the sentence with the question mark on his jumper. And, oh. Yeah, that makes sense now.

Louis opens the car door and strolls casually over to the whole family, waiting eagerly with smiles on their faces, and then looks at Harry, smirks cheekily, waves his finger with the ring on it, and says, “I thought I already was.”

⋆➳⋆➳⋆➳⋆